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emmacreatures · 1 year

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A HEAVY START

OKAY. SO. Despite me and Nina literally made this ship earlier today, my brain did a BRRRR and went bonkers since I'm just extremely inspired and so happy to have nina in my life. This story starts off very gently, but well. Warning, it will take a big turn.

I cant tell yet how canon things will be, since we just made them, so I always need some experimenting and such! So IF I ANNOUNCE NEW SHIT, dont be surprised if it changes slightly through time, but despite all I'm nervous yet excited to hear what you guys think aaaa i literally wrote this in like.. 3 hours hoppla ENJOY! Featuring two new characters, called with their LAST NAMES!!! Muller and curran! __________

Everyone was just doing their thing at Bridgehead. Muller had been told to keep track of most developing recom bodies, as he was specialized in genetics. Though it didnt stop the man to go through more since he was one of tbe more specialized all 'inclusive' scientists at the RDA. His looks may seem innocent, but the man's mind was able to do more than just work on one part of their whole operation. He used to work beautifully along Grace, for they both had the beautiful passion for the Na'vi, and all living things.. But unlike Grace, Muller had a rather innocent look, so he at times got tossed around a bit, being asked to do various things which he did not mind.. In fact, he met alot of people because of that.. Something that at this day left a sour wound.

It was a big 'getting used to' for the man, when he was being brought back as a recom. He remembered waking up, as it felt like a dream at first.. He couldn't believe his own sight, and didnt remember anything when he started to slowly build up the fact he was a Na'vi now. He almost wanted to do tests on himself, as he was so mesmerized by the fact his DNA was now mixed with that of the native's... But the happiness was cut short, for his reality was slowly haunting him. It was like someone put a mental wall up in his brain. The more he scratched upon that wall, the more he rememberd from a past life. Memories they'd call it. But he started to feel it was becoming a slight nightmare. It wasnt his marvelous intelligence that bugged him.. It was the mere rather deeper emotions with attachments coming loose.

Through the months of being a Na'vi, he was asked a lot of things. He missed grace, for she kept a nice pace and control around the RDA, as they matched up well with energy, but he managed well on his own. His energy with the RDA didnt match so well.. So he tried to still be independant, and have his own corner to do what they asked of them. Originally he was put with the recom squad, to come along and explain them about pandora when they were developing to understand the na'vi ways especially, since like grace, he knew all about it. But slowly, Quaritch noticed the man becoming hesitant, as if something deeply put him on the breaks.. So for now, ardmore, after talking with quaritch about it, decided to keep the man at bay, and allow him to work in the labs for it seemed the best that way.

In those few months, alot of exciting things seemed to develop. Quaritch and his squad managed to catch one of the two natives of the Omatikayan.. In which another tried to come to rescue them, ending up with two. Something they could definitely use. One of them seemed rather difficult to handle, picking fights with specific recoms who originally lured them out.. But the other, was rather adjusted to the surroundings despite humans didnt seem to like the idea to have a native around. Since bridgehead was so extremely huge.. Muller hears about the 'rumors' of having a native on their side.. His eager and soft energy certainly wanted to have a chance if ever, to talk to him. He had so many questions.. Things he loved to ask. Despite he was a na'vi himself, he still had the biggest fascination to the natives.. Even if some of them, didnt like their association with them. He didnt know, or couldnt know, for he was just minding his business, gently checking half of the tubes full of the new recom units.. "All is stable." he softly said, smiling as he checked everything before heading back to his own lab. He got quite the space which he appreciated, but in the back of his head, he still felt a certain unknown.. Emptyness he couldnt quite figure just yet.

Being nearby his own lab, he wanted to hand out some data to some of the humans he had to work with, eventually seeing the native he heard about.. Out of pure fascination and admiration, he gently approached him.. He seemed to just look at some of the bigger screens. "Gosh.. Hi- I'm so sorry." Muller said in actual Na'vi.. Smiling. "You're a real.. Omatikayan.. Right. you must be Ka'am? If I'm not mistaken?" Muller gently asked, almost holding his hands together to see the rather warrior typed man turn to him. The beads in his mohawk like way of having his hair tied made a heavy noise.. Turning to him. For Ka'am looked at a rather excited scientist just from having a look at him. "you're from neytiri's family? i've heard rumors you were around but..-" Muller kept on talking in fluent na'vi, making Ka'am, who now had fully turned to the man instead of just his head.. Frown while responding in Na'vi. "i've not heard people speak about me" "OH nothing bad. I'm just, very honored to meet you. I see you" muller kept speaking in Na'vi, softly making the gesture from his head to show out of respect he saw Ka'am. Making the native tilt his head, as he looked down at the innocent looking scientist. Ka'am was taller than the man, and he seemed respectful.. Truly. "You are aware I can speak your language too right" Ka'am said serious, changing to english for Muller just had a soft "woah.." before harrumping. "I just felt like it was more fair to speak your language, since this is technically your territory." Muller said gently for, he invited Ka'am to his lab if he wanted, also because he just loved to see a full powerful native so closeby without wanting to kill him, which he would even understand.

Since Ka'am was quite looked at from the humans at this point, having a more respectful approach like Muller seemed better for his day. "I rather not be associated with them if you wouldnt mind by all means" Ka'am then said, for Muller frowned. "Associated with..?" "My family." "Oh- I- I'll note it down. I'm sorry if I-" Muller wanted to deeply apologize despite he certainly grew curiosity on why, but seeing Ka'am just make a gesture with his hand to say 'no need to continue' on his apologies.. For Muller understood right away. "So.. Were you looking for anything specific? I saw you try and figure your way, these things can be a hassle, even for me" Muller said kind, having noticed Ka'am was slightly searching for something. Ka'am could certainly tell the man was intelligent, on how he could read ka'am's intentions.. But since he really wasnt trying to get into Ka'am's business, he felt like Muller could actually help him. "I was.. Or well. do me a favor.. Can you look up old.. I believe they're recordings or field recordings. Quaritch wanted some, and since he's busy-" "So considerate- Let me actually see if I can get into it.. Since I'm just a .. Scientist. Not really like security or stuff like that" Muller said as he really was as innocent as he sounded. He wasn't JUST a scientist, but the man never bragged and was honest.. Sometimes he might even belittle himself on accident.. The man was never too kind though.. He knew where to stand his ground, but with Ka'am, he was just so fascinated, trying to help the best way. He was so impressed by the natives, and Ka'am was certainly a lovely example in his eyes. Perhaps even slightly scary to some, which Muller respected completely.

He gently put his card through the computer, seeing he in fact did have access. "Ah, there you go. I'll leave you to it" The man said as he gently sat down at a different desk near it, hearing Ka'am lean forward with his arms on the desk, watching the screens as the the braid from Ka'am, falling over his own shoulder to the front, made a noise that you could just hear was quite heavy. For some odd reason it made Muller smile. He loved having a native near, it just fueled his nerdy hype about the reason be became a scientist. The rather big smile almost on Muller's face took Ka'am's attention.. It wasnt like.. A fascination to his body or such, just the mere fact he was around. He turned to Muller once, for the man wanted to explain himself the second Ka'am did. "Must be heavy right? All those intricate beads.. with their possible traditions and stories" Muller said for Ka'am stood more straight instead of watching the screens. "It almost sounds you've never seen one like myself this close have you..?" The man said with a frown, for his voice was definitely lower than that of Muller. "Must be obvious right.. Indeed I havent. You caught me there. I apologize for it. Well, We've seen your kind from afar, let alone.. One that speaks to you, even in english, though I wouldnt mind to switch to Na'vi again" Muller said for Ka'am just nodded once.

"Quaritch isnt so fluent in Na'vi, so I might as well at times speak your language when its possible." Ka'am said rather serious, before Ka'am actually found something on the security footage after some searching. Something Quaritch most likely needed. "This. How can I obtain this" "Oh on a USB or? I can do that for you" Muller said as he stood up, putting it into the system that Ka'am was going through, putting the specific bit without checking what it was onto it. "That should do it.. Anything else you might need?" Muller was so helpful.. As at moments like this, infront of Ka'am for the first time, he almost forgot he was a na'vi himself. It was still something to get used to.

Ka'am noticed the genuine help.. But as the man helped him. He just never wanted to owe someone anything.. Being a loner and tricky man like he was. He just never wanted to have strings attached.. So having noticed the man's pure nerdy behavior which was what the humans called it.. Ka'am thought of a perfect solution..

"here. May this fill your fascination that you have for our kind" Ka'am said rather serious than thankful.. putting a very special carved bead onto the table they were standing at.. Making Muller who softly took it.. Just gasp. The bead was from hometree.. as Ka'am was slowly pushing himself further away from his original roots due to complications, it seemed like a win win So.. Now he was standing even.

"Are you serious... This is a bead from hometree. You get to make these when you- suceed within your tribe with a greater good" Muller said for Ka'am certainly was surprised but didnt show it. This man definitely knew alot. But hearing the man be so happy with it, he just nodded once in a 'just take it. and dont bother me about it' before he left, leaving Muller so excited about it.. "I gotta sample this in the lab later.." He whispered, before softly putting it into the pocket of his pants, slowly realizing that surprisingly along all this, he seemed to have access to much more than he originally thought with his RDA card that he always had with him.. He realized he might be able to dig into more stuff if he wanted to.. and as innocent as the man seemed, that dark empty hole he kept on feeling whether it was in his chest or head.. started munching more upon his curiosity. The mental wall was slowly breaking after months, and this sudden realization might grow worse

Muller was always rather fast with delivering what everyone asked. As mentioned before he was one of the best scientists around while people felt like he didnt live up to that title when it came to his looks.. But the man had brains and was a complex and well developed human who now was a na'vi. Brought back by the RDA. He knew something bad should've happened after a few weeks, but it seemed it was almost normal that everyone came back.. So, maybe his 'older' self.. would still be around, despite not having seen it yet

For he was done doing what he was asked to, muller's curiosity finally bit the bullet.. Sliding his card through the monitor to eventually start digging deeper into the system. After alot of trouble he ended up within the older files of their place before bridgehead was a thing.. Remembering a slight piece of it in the back of his mind. He rememberd selfridge.. A dirty asshole who never showed mercy, and he rememberd everyone he worked with before, including closer contacts he met along the way. Sighing as he went deeper and deeper into thr system, being alone in his lab, he frowned as he seemed to have found 'doctor muller. Confidental' files.. Without much hesitation he clicked on them, noticing a complex password was upon his files. Like said, he wasnt stupid. but now what.. What would he possibly have done as a password. It took a few tries even for him, and as a clone it was already complex enough.. But finally, he cracked it, seeing a lot of recordings of the first days..

He watched some of them, remembering it now, much clearer in his head. Being excited about plants, and hearing the avatar program Grace started was slowly becoming reality. Muller in the day was a young man, who was overly excited when he heard he was allowed to come to pandora to contribute with his intelligence. The second grace and him met, it was like a perfect match. Norm was fantastic too, but Muller ended up being more in the background, doing a lot of genetic research on the avatar bodies. Digging deeper into the DNA of things. The videos started off like a beautiful memory lane, even some videos where some squad members entered, asking how Muller was doing.. One in particular.. As the sudden connection was made in his brain. A happy little push, which made Muller smile for a second.. but as he went down and down.. Some videos, he couldnt remember. The aura was dark from the preview videos, but he did decide to click on one of the last ones, seeing right after most files were broken.

"This is day 799.. It seems Jake sully tried to convince them to leave. Everything is chaos right now. I dont know what he wants to do.. They're asking us to do horrible things. But selfridge and everyone else is doing the worst of things. They made hometree fall.. They killed it.. They put down grace's lab completely. At this rate I dont know what will happen. I dont know if I can do what they're asking of me.. Its not what I signed up for, but I dont want trouble either.".

Muller stopped the video there, closing it as he felt like it was getting worse.

"Day 805.. Just a few days apart, but its war.. I dont even blame the natives. They killed everything. This is not what I signed up for. The RDA, they're reckless.. I cant seem to see enough of whose behind this, but all we know is that most are prepared to fight, while me and the rest.. We want to leave the natives alone.. Unoptanium cannot be the reason we're doing this.. I.." Muller sighed so deeply on the video.. Seeing the human version of himself was odd too.. But he didnt know it could go worse from here..

"Day 806.." muller heard the audio.. He heard his own human version, sniffing from crying.. It was wrecking his stomach. "I dont know if this will ever reach the systems. The whole unit is collapsing.. I dont know if I will make it out alive myself, but you might ask yourselves while I'm here." The tone of his voice, was making Muller shiver, not touching the screens anymore as he let it go. "Curran.. Protected me.. From all chaos a few hours ago.. And now, here we are.. He passed away in my arms. I saw him die, right infront of me. And you know whats the worse part. I'm here, risking my life to do what you filfty bastards asked me to." Muller said as the anger he never showed popped up, his eyes full of tears on the video.

"If you are smart and if you ever see this, all of you, from the RDA.. You better not bring me back if I dont survive this.. As the chances of me surving alone here are small from the looks of it, but I have nothing to loose anymore, nothing to moarn over anymore as all you did was break me and...." Muller on the video couldnt even finish his sentence anymore, mentioning how the love of his life died in his arms was already too much.. "Unless you cold, horrendous people dare to pull me back. I never signed up for this when I was brought to pandora, for you all to murder them like.. A pest purely for your own good and money. I know I never seem threatening, and it might look like an easy game for you guys.. But i'm so.." Muller said on the video as the tears flew down his cheeks.. The heartache was unbearable.. "I dont want to be a part of this.. My life is nothing without him.." Muller said as he laughed once with the tears in his eyes. "Its almost funny.. To think the RDA, made me meet Curran in the first place which supposedly, was one of the best things that happened to me.. And now, you.. Make me end up erasing his mind because I was threatened to, right?" Muller said as his tears in video kept on flowing again. "If I didnt do it, you guys would.. so no win for me I suppose" Muller said defeated, swallowing. "you all dared me to take away that core memory.. so he can be a weapon for your new plan as this one failed.. Can you even sympathize with what I just described.. well. Of course not. Since you all have turned into killers, with no mercy. Having control over us all" Muller said as his crying made talking difficult. "Goodluck with that. I really hope, for you all, that you will not throw me back into this hellpit, as a recom" the man said almost threatening, hearing more of the building break apart.. As soon as he had sent off the DNA sample a second before.. "Its done.. Its sent off. So it might as well be done for me too." Muller said as he wanted to predict his own fate almost, before hearing more and more of the building collapse.. Muller watched his own human self, still try and get out of the mess, but before it completelt collapsed, the video broke and stopped recording.

Muller felt all his flashbacks occur in the back of his mind. Everything came back.. Every single detail that was captured in his DNA for the recom project. Popped up. It was taken before the huge accident he just watched, but seeing it all.. Was the last drop for him. He was frozen, he felt and heard the pain his human version already was going through. He rememberd Curran, of the most expertise Units he ever met.. He rememberd how they met, how they got along, how they fell in love.. and worst of all, now how he lost him. The realization hit him as well, that there was a chance Curran would be brought back as a recom, as the RDA asked him? as sickening as possible, to adjust his DNA sample with his memories, to have no hiccups. No emotional interuptions.. He rememberd it all now.. He rememberd the most difficult conversation he ever had in life.. How they were planning to make the recom program. But also knew about the relation Muller had to the incredible squad part that Curran was..

"We dont care what you think.. Emotional influences like that can make a soldier fall.. So whats the use if we would bring them back in such a state. Its misleading. If you wont take it out of his system Muller before sending it off to the recom system to have it imprinted on him, then we will. Its either you, or us"....

The sentences echoed in his brain.. Muller slowly stood up from the table after closing all tabs, making sure they were gone, before falling on his butt on the ground, holding himself as he was shivering.. Tears flew down his cheeks, as he couldnt make a noise, he was so frozen, as his emotions were all over. Muller held his own head after a while, unable to get a grip on himself for it all hit him too badly.. Worst part was that he knew about the conversation all too well, he remembered it now, but to have figured the two eventually died most likely since he could hear and see the building was about to collapse when Muller was still there.. Still trying to make it, in which Curran died for Muller to protect him.. Was something his heart couldnt bear.

The chances were there.. That Curran could eventually be part of the recom group, meaning if they'd ever come across each other, it would be a man.. That wouldnt have a single clue about Muller. Everything they experienced, build up.. Was gone, and out of all people, muller had to take it away from him..

Muller sat there for the longest of time, his own glasses had fallen off as he had sunken his own head into his arms that he held himself with at last.. Trying to give it a spot, but it was so hard to bear. Though as powerful as the man was, after a few hours, he managed to slowly push himself up, as his tail was wrapped around him.. Trying to breathe. He almost felt out of spite, the RDA brought him back.. It was definitely something Muller wanted to talk about eventually if he got himself a bit back together, but he just experienced his whole life in a few minutes. The emptyness now made sense.. for Curran wasnt in his life anymore, as so it seemed. He was just another scientist nessesairy for their things.. But Muller was not agreeing with it. He didnt dare to check the lists of Recoms anymore at this point.. He hadnt seen curran anywhere, so maybe.. just maybe it would give him a break for a bit. "Its.. Its late Muller.. You need to.. Sleep." He said to himself to calm down, despite it felt impossible.. He would eventually try and argue with the RDA, but for now, he needed some time for himself. He knew picking up work was the best he could do first thing tomorrow morning.. but this would definitely need time to process. The man was very smart, abd despite this was tough for him to do.. he knew trying to continue his 'new life' would've been the best to do.. so he tried that, despite his emotions at times like waves and flashbacks would sit him wrong.. Of course he didnt want to forget about curran.. He was everything that he could wish for.. But it was tough to hear whatbhappened.. but that wouldnt stop the man from working and possibly doing things he did want to do.. whats the worst that could happen now?...

#Muller #Curran #muller x curran #angst #emmacreatures #niku30 #avatar ships #avatar fanfiction #avatar oc #quaritch x ka'am #HOPPLA

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