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hindahoney · 1 year

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Hey - this is kind of an odd question, but I was wondering if you had any recommendations for books or articles to read to learn more about Judaism for someone who’s kind of Jewish (but not really)?

My mum is Jewish, but stopped practicing when she was a teenager, and I was brought up atheist - my dad’s family are Protestant. I basically don’t know anything about Judaism, which feels particularly weird because I know loads about Christianity, just through osmosis. And I’ve never met a whole branch of my family who are apparently very orthodox and live really near us in London. Anyway, I’d like to learn more, and don’t really know how to start? Or if I should start?

Thank you for your question. First of all, if your mother is Jewish, you are Jewish. You're not "kind of Jewish," you're not "Jew-ish." You're fully Jewish, and every movement of Judaism recognizes you as such.

Second, there are endless amazing resources for people in situations like yours. I wish I could say that it was more rare to have descendants of people who assimilated wanting to reconnect, but sadly it's not. I've known some people have found resources for converts to be helpful in reconnecting, so those are mixed in with my list as well.

MyJewishLearning is a great resource for really anything Jewish. I've found their articles to be pretty diverse in terms of approach, and they give perspectives of different movements on each topic.

Jewish101 Playlist - This is great not just for beginners, but for people familiar with Judaism already. They are talks given by one of my favorite Rabbis, Rabbi Mark Golub, about everything from how Jews view G-d, our relationship & struggles with Him, how sex is treated in Judaism, to Jewish holiday traditions & the meaning behind them.

Jewish Learning Institute - This entire channel is beneficial for learning about really any topic. They have a more frum perspective, but I think that learning the core observant values is really important when deciding which ones speak to you. It's also important for Jews to understand their more observant siblings, as many people don't and that ignorance leads to observant Jews being marginalized by their own family. By having that baseline understanding of the reasons behind why Jews do what they do, so that you can decide for yourself it that matters or can fit in your life. The video I've attached is about the survival of the Jewish people, a brilliant and moving speech given by Rabbi Y.Y Jacobson. I think this speech is sure to give every Jew a sense of pride and connection to their fellow Jew, which is vital when forming a Jewish identity. We're a tribe for a reason.

TY Channel Henry Abramson - Not a Rabbi but many people mistake him for one because he's highly educated (PhD). He gives very educational lectures on all sorts of Jewish topics, usually Jewish history. Peppers in some humor too, so he's entertaining to watch.

Unpacked - Gives crash-course type videos (entertaining, some animation, higher budget, etc) on issues that Jews face today, conversations Jews are having in the community, and Jewish history.

My Jewish Mommy life - Jewish vlogger who makes videos on the basics of Judaism, shabbat, holidays, etc. A good resource for anyone just entering the fold. Comes from a more reform background but does a decent job of explaining different perspectives.

Books

The Torah (Hebrew-English, also has Spanish, French, Portuguese. There are tons of versions online)

The Jewish Book of Why - This book is essentially a compilation of a million different questions commonly asked about Jews/Judaism and the answers given range in the interpretation of various movements.

Choosing A Jewish Life - Kind of a how-to guide in terms of choosing a Rabbi, synagogue, overview of basic Jewish concepts & movements, choosing a Hebrew name for yourself (You can give yourself one if you don't have one!!), and how to discuss with your family your decision to be Jewish, or more observant.

Jewish Literacy - ABSOLUTELY MY FAVORITE JEWISH RESOURCE. Can be read like a novel or an encyclopedia (like for referencing certain topics). I read through this completely and it is an amazing compilation of every topic from important Biblical stories and their Jewish interpretation, Jewish history from its creation to modern times, IP conflict, major Jewish historical figures, modern Jewish thought on certain topics. Genuinely, if you want to know something about Jewish tradition and practice, it's probably in this book.

To Be a Jew - Halachot (Jewish laws) around observance in daily life, their oigins, and why we do them. Guide for major and minor holidays, major life events, and an explanation of rationale for modern Jewish life.

Living a Jewish Life - Another why-to and how-to guide for Judaism in your daily life.

Helpful Apps:

Shabbat Times (Self-explanatory, you put in your city and it tells you what time Shabbat starts)

Jewish Chronicle/Jooish News - News around the world for what's happening to and by Jews

TorahAnytime - Like Youtube but for Jewish learning

Daily Jewish Prayers - Invaluable resource that explains when which prayers are said, provides it in transliteration, English, and Hebrew

CalJ - Jewish calendar. Great for knowing what the Hebrew date is and when/what times Jewish holidays start.

JVL (Jewish Virtual Library) - a bunch of Jewish books

Jewish accounts to follow:

Here's a very short and incomplete list of Jewish accounts I recommend following, because they post about Judaism a lot and give a good idea of what every-day Jews think about a wide range of things. They are really invaluable resources when it comes to learning from real Jews and I trust their judgment:

@shretl

@tikkunolamorgtfo (has been around forever, literally amazing)

@adoratato

@jewish-kermit

@spacelazarwolf

@magnetothemagnificent

@laineystein

@gonnauseanomdeplume

@hiddurmitzvah

@girlactionfigure

@rimonoroni

@anonymousdandelion

@starlightomatic

@unbidden-yidden

#jumblr #jewblr #judaism #jewish convert #jewish conversion #jewish culture #jew by choice #frumblr #jewish history #jewish resources #jewish stuff #jew stuff

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chartmyfixations · 4 months

Text

cris watches dr. who: s02e10 - "Love & Monsters"

"No one upsets my mum!" - Rose

Hey! It's Mr. Teatime/Kalinda's horrible husband

Oh god he's a vlogger avant la lettre

Scooby Dooby doors! Jinkies

Hey! It's Moaning Myrtle/one of Bridget Jones' friends

Honey, it's not a chance of one in a million to find something if you were actively googling for it

“It wasn't the Aliens that took her away, it was the drugs.” Ummmm

The sound of the universe is the wheezing engine of the Tardis?

Ugh. Victor is like when you invite a munchkin to a fun D&D group

ELO-MONTAGE

Hee. I love how Jackie effortlessly ticks off all the boxes for a spy. Agent double O Tyler

Is Victor a Slitheen? He has to be an alien, right?

Wait, no, he doesn't fart

Jackie female!gazing her sexy handyman - she's a menace, but: same, girl

“They know how to do things, the French.” I can just imagine Jennifer Coolidge staying that

Aw, Jackie. You can have a wistful moment of reflection and still fuck Marc Warren, you know

Oh, Linda, why are you all falling for the not so subtle trickery of Victor the Alien. Sigh

“He's a little bit Slitheen” Ha!

"LINDA United pull!" Yeah, the faces on the rotund alien were already a little silly, but this is where the episode goes full on camp

Yes, we know the Doctor is an agent of chaos -- when will Rose and Jackie pay the price?!

Oh my god, that poor girl is stuck as a tile? She should be way less fine with this. I think I'd rather be haunting a magical girl's bathroom, thank you very much

7 out of 8 Tardes. Excellent, non-traditional episode, but we're docking points for her ending up as a silly tile and making me think about their sex life

#cris watches #cris watches dr who #doctor who #dr who #rose tyler #billie piper #the tenth doctor #tenth doctor #10th doctor #david tennant #7 out of 8 tardes #s02e10 #love and monsters

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fan-fic-favs · 8 months

Text

While You Were Sleeping

Pairing: Bang Chan x Superhero!Reader (fem)

Summary: You were a fan before you got your powers. You never imagined you'd meet him, let alone be able to help your favourite vlogger/singer/producer.

Warnings: none

------------------------

The sand people.

That was the name the public had affectionately given to the group of superheros that had a similar set of powers. But unlike the Star Wars characters that were often looked down upon, the sand people all over the world received high praise. With powers that could simply put a super-villain or terrorist to sleep or in a coma, without causing any damage to city or neighbour's property, it was easy to end up in their good books.

The powers came to you all in different ways. Your story was nothing to make headlines; you were working at the archives in a museum, doing the annual counts in person for the accountants you worked for, when you came across an unmarked box in the corner. Following procedure, you lifted it to find a large yellow jewel instead. You didn't get much of a chance to inspect it, when you touched it, you were later found asleep next to where it had been, with the box nowhere to be seen. You were never able to find that box again afterwards, much to your chagrin. And so you went about your week, not thinking much about it until a friend at work mentioned they couldn't sleep. All it took was a thought from you, and a small amount of sand appeared in your palm and streamed across the room, and your friend was asleep.

That was easily the freakiest day of your life, you had flipped out, vacuumed up the sand in the office, and woken up your coworker before anyone could see what happened. Then you had rushed to the security cams, and wiped the past few minutes before anyone could see. They weren't monitored, and you had been tasked to help set them up, so hopefully you could claim just doing maintenance if anyone asked.

A couple months into testing your powers on people on buses and trains (thinking no one would notice in a place people often fell asleep anyway), you were approached by one of the sand people, and the rest is history.

Being on their team hadn't affected your life too much, the teams costume covered your whole face and included a cape and hood, there weren't any crazy fights, and you were able to still work online at your old job. You had no boyfriend, stayed in touch with your friends, and still watched silly YouTube videos. You avoided teleporting too much as it took a lot of energy out of you.

Besides helping out with hero work, the sand people also ran much sought after sleep clinics, and worked with doctors and researchers on sleep science. So far you had discovered that you needed to be within a kilometer of the person you were focused on, which helped a lot for villans that could turn invisible. With that knowledge, you now knew exactly which street corner you needed to get to in order to help your mum with her insomnia. It had been a hard week for her, you sent a quick good night text to her before driving back home for the night.

You even still kept your JYP bubble app, which you kept secret from everyone you knew. The little messages brought a smile to your face, and it took so long to get enough space for decent replies, you just couldn't bring yourself to delete it.

Scrolling through short videos after you got back home, a bubble notification popped up. Once again, Bang Chan, one of the idols you had on bubble, couldn't sleep. You really wished you could help him, but felt like a bit of a creep to give sleep to those who hadn't asked for it or weren't villains.

Quickly, you checked Twitter for any upcoming events. Surely one time wouldn't hurt, right? He had sent so many messages about not being able to sleep lately. It should seem pretty natural if he finally got one good night's sleep, right? It was the least you could do, for all the free content he provided on his streams that kept you entertained. Mind made up, you stood up, preparing to teleport to Seoul.

Thankfully you had been to Seoul before, and landed softly at Namsan Tower. You had googled where the JYP offices were, but unfamiliar locations often required more energy to teleport to, so you opted for the tower and took a bus from there, payment card in hand from your last trip there.

You really hoped he was texting from his studio there, because you had no idea where the dorms were, and already felt intrusive enough showing up outside his workplace. This was already kind of crossing the self made boundaries you had put in place.

Reaching out and picturing his face, sand collected in your hand and soon streamed out to find its mark. Happy your trip had not been for nothing, you skipped happily down the street before teleporting back home.

You went over your actions once you returned, fretting over if you'd been noticed. You knew the sand was nearly invisible to any security cameras, and going without your costume drew less attention. You didn't need your fellow sand people up in your business about why you were in Seoul.

Feeling good about your (hopefully) good deed, you went to sleep after watching some TV.

------------------

The next morning, a new message showed on your Bubble app.

짜니 : I think I was visited by a sand person??

짜니 : Or one of the kids is pranking me.

짜니 : Probably pranking me lol

Eyes widening you threw your phone to your bed. Then paced the room. Then looked back at your phone. Yep, the messages were still there. It could be blamed on pranking someone, right? You just wouldn't do it again, and everything would be fine.

But not long after, Chan's insomnia and late night messages returned. He raved about how good he slept when he got a "sand visit", and wished he had time for one of their sleep clinics.

You paced the room, trying to figure out a way to get away unnoticed with gifting him some sleep. A small amount of sand, less than a handful, was always found around a targets head. If you could make sure the sleep was deep enough, you should be able to vacuum up the sand before anyone noticed. Unfortunately, a few problems still stood in your way. One, you had no idea where Chan was at any given time, and didn't want to turn to any sasaeng websites to find out, that definitely felt like it crossed a line. Two, you weren't sure how to keep others from hearing the vacuum. If where he was was loud enough to cover the sound of the vacuum, it wouldn't be believable enough for him to fall asleep on his own.

You really wished there was some way to just talk to him, if you could get permission, your conscience would be at ease. But how do you contact someone you don't personally know?

Frustrated, you gave up again and went to bed. Maybe in the morning you could bounce ideas off your best friend, she always had the best solutions.

----

Morning came and you felt guilty again seeing the app messages from after you fell asleep.

짜니 : Do you think sand people can make themselves fall asleep?

짜니 : I'm so jealous~~~

Unfortunately, the powers could not be used on yourself, but another sand person could help, if your mind was willing to accept the help. Maybe you could hold an info session with him. No. You still wanted to keep your Para social relationship with the guy a secret.

Determined to figure this out so you could stop thinking about it, you made sure to pick up a sleep clinic shift with one of your local teammates, another sand lady who went by "The Dame".

Waiting for the computer to process the test results, you bounced a few ideas off of her.

"So you want to help someone who has helped you a lot, but they don't know you, and they don't live nearby?"

"Ya, pretty much." You sighed in frustration, unable to have come up with a solution.

"Hmm, what if you did one of those clinic tours some sand people do? You could send him an official invite as a thank-you."

Your eyes brightened as you considered it. "That's perfect! Yes, and, and I could send invites to others too so that he doesn't feel singled out and doesn't get the creeps!"

"Haha, you're always so concerned with the creeps." She shook her head.

"Oh come on, you don't think some random super showing up and messing with your sleep is creepy?"

"I dunno, could be sexy." She wiggled her eyebrows through her mask.

"Uhhhhh, sure. Cause waking up to sand around you is so sexy."

"Could be. Just use your imagination." She grinned like a cat as she rested her head on her laced hands.

You covered your face with your hands. "Ya, my imagination doesn't need any more fuel, thanks. I'm already always imagining how people could get offended over crossing boundaries and consent and all that."

"It's just sleep, not sex. And we only put dangerous villains or medical cases in a coma." She reasoned, crossing her arms.

"Ya, I guess that's true. I'll see if the admins can set up a sleep tour for me, they're always asking for us to do at least one every few years, and I've never done one." You mirrored her crossed arms as you considered the logistics. A quiet moment passed.

"Do you want me to see who else is available?"

You tilted your head as you weighed the options."Nah, I'd like to try on my own, I've already shadowed a couple in the past when I was getting trained."

"Sounds like you've got yourself a plan." She grinned.

------

Sounds like a plan, indeed. You stared at the Seoul invite list on your laptop with your hands on your face, going back and forth over whether or not to hit send. The invites would go to their doctors first, and then the doctors would get in touch with the patients. Christopher Bahng's name blinked back at you.

This was the whole reason you were doing the tour, right? Well, you had to do one eventually, so it was like killing two birds with one stone.

Taking a deep shuddering breath, you closed one eye and clicked send.

There.

Now it was off in cyberspace, unable to be retrieved. You let out a breath and headed to the fridge for a drink.

----------------

About a week later, you received the replies of those that could make it. Seeing Bang Chan checked as attending, you couldn't help bouncing up and down. The sleep clinics would run for a week, helping attendees to fix their circadian rhythm by being put to sleep at a set time every night. It made a big impact for many who suffered from insomnia, and you hoped it would help Chan too.

You included a frequently asked questions page as well, including answers to questions like 'Can sand people make themselves fall asleep?'

Later that night, your phone lit up with a new message on your app.

짜니 : No way, was my question seen?

짜니 : Can't be, right? If a super was a stay, I wouldn't be able to believe it.

Well, crap. Maybe that was a slip up on your part, but it could also be easily denied. Plenty of people had asked that question before. You let go of the breath you were holding and breathed deeply to calm down. You could do this, you could help and he will never know the visiting super was a stay.

Right?

---

Maybe this was a bad idea. You were supposed to be focused on everyone at the clinic, but your eyes kept coming back to Chan as you went through more Q&A before the first session began, thank God for your full face mask.

Chan was listening attentively, and only took out his phone for a minute once the Q&A had ended.

You phone buzzed before you had a chance to get away from the mic.

"I'm so sorry, I thought I turned that off."

짜니 : Huh, it turns out I was wrong, sand people can't make themselves fall asleep. Gotta make sure I correct myself, not gonna spread misinformation.

You giggled before you realized you were being stared at, with the mic still on a foot away from you.

Clearing your throat, you redirected the attention elsewhere. "If you'll follow the staff to your left, you'll find your sleeping accommodations for this week." You knew the staff were meant to announce directions, but the distraction did its job, and and you let the MC take over the rest of the directions.

You didn't seen Chan staring at you since the giggle you let out, all the way till you exited the conference room.

The research center was set up like a hospital but without the hospital beds. Each room had an arrangement of equipment in the corner, but otherwise the rooms resembled hotel or inn like rooms, with simple beds, many pillows and blankets to choose from, and side tables and chairs. TVs and books were pointedly left out to not give any more extra causes for sleep deprivation.

----

A week later found you in the observation chair with Chan to see if the machines showed any changes in his sleep rhythms. It was the last day of the sleep clinic, and notes needed to be made for the next sand super that came into town to do sleep clinic follow ups.

"I like that phrase, sleep rhythm, maybe I'll use it in our groups next song."

You let out a smothered chuckle, a little exasperated. "Mr. Chan-"

"I know, I know, I should be trying to sleep. Not every day you meet a favourite super."

Your face heated and once again you were glad for the mask. "Well, you're one in a million then, we're not usually anyone's favourites, not very flashy." You admitted.

"I wish I could wear a mask more often like you, I think I look a lot better with a face mask. Maybe I could talk to my staff about it. And I thought I asked to just be called Chan?" He teased.

Oh please no, if you didn't nip this in the bud, he might get ideas about covering his pretty face and then you'd be kicking yourself. "If I call you Chan, will you promise not to wear a mask all the time? I think your fans would cry."

He shook his head and changed the subject. "Is there anyway I can have sand visits all the time? This is the most energy I've had in years, it's like life is in HD." He looked up hopefully, eyes sparkling.

Many patients had made the same comment to sand people in the past, but at the prospect of helping Chan more often with his full consent, you thought of an idea.

"I won't be moving here, but I can let you know when I'm in town? I usually come by a couple times a year for personal or super business."

"Really!?" Chan leapt to sitting up in the bed next to your chair.

"Uh-huh. But just like your phone number is confidential, so is mine. And you'll have to save me under a name that's not suspicious." You quickly added.

"Hmmm, 'Sandy' too on the nose?" He grinned.

You laughed back. "Hmm, ya I think so. Any other ideas?"

"I wish I just knew your name. You know my stage name and my real name. Doesn't that bug guy and other supers not have a secret identity?"

"It's true that sand people can loose the mask if they get their PhD, but it's never been on my to do list. And it makes life that much more difficult. You should know, it's not easy to always be recognized everywhere you go. And in my case, the sand people have a few enemies, if they knew who I cared about, those people would be in danger."

"Awwwe, are you saying you care about me? Are you possibly a fan?" He sing-songed.

"What- why would-?" Your voiced came our cracked and squeaky. "Look, I care about a lot of people, that's why I'm not a villain."

"Haha, Fair enough. Well, I'm honoured to have your contact. I will list it under 'sleep doctor abroad' until I think of something better, deal?"

Happy with the outcome beyond what you had hoped for, you agreed "Deal."

-----

Later while you were almost asleep in your bed, your last night in Seoul before the next city, a message appeared on your Kakao app.

짜니 : HI <sticker>

짜니 : By the way, I forgot to ask, what name did you save me under?👀👀

Sleepyly, you took a screenshot of your screen and sent it.

You stared at the screen for a few seconds while you woke back up, seeing if you would get a reply.

짜니 : Channie?! No way, are you a stay?

Eyes widened as your heart raced, cursing, you were now fully awake. Oh crap. You hadn't even thought of that, you had just copied and pasted his name from the bubble app to your kakao. Unsure of what to do, you tried to play it cool. What could you say to not make it awkward?

You: I like some songs. :)

짜니 : Oh my God, Holy F- Okay, cool, that's cool. What's your favourite song?

You: My first favourite was...

And the conversation carried on back and forth, until you realized the events of the day had made you forget to send the sleep sand to Chan.

You: It's past sleep time! I'm so sorry, sending over the sand now. I can do a follow up visit to make it up to you after my tour is over.

You: That was so unprofessional of me, I'm so sorry.

짜니: Unprofessional means we're friends, right? But I won't say no to another good sleep visit ;)

A winky face?! Oh my God. Was he flirting? Why did he have to make the sleep visits sound like something else? No, it didn't mean anything. Seeing clips of different fan-calls, you knew he did that all the time. Sitting down, you tried to calm down and type your reply.

You: OK, good night. 💤

----------------

You kicked off your slippers, stepped from the hotel shower, and changed into your pajamas for the last night on your tour. The time difference wasn't too bad between Sydney and Seoul, and you had found little messages from Chan on your phone throughout your tour. Thankfully, the tour went from Mongolia down into Australia, so you were usually still in his time zone or close to it.

Before going to sleep, your opened your phone to check for any missed messages. The notification for the bubble app popped up, bringing a smile to your face. So far, you had neither confirmed nor denied to him that you had that app.

짜니: ugggh, can't sleep again.

짜니: Stay, what are you doing?

Remembering you had promised him one more sand visit once your tour ended, you shot him a text on Kakao.

You: I'm done my tour. Are you sleeping ok? Do you need a follow up visit tonight?

짜니: wow, that was fast.

You: what? My tour? Chan, it's been a few months. Felt pretty long to me.

짜니: No, it's just I just messaged stays that I was tired.

짜니: Preeeeetty sure you have bubble, that's too many coincidences 🤔

You giggled in your bed and sat up to text him more. You side stepped admitting you had bubble and changed the subject.

You: Should I land outside the JYP building? I think that will be close enough to send the sand from if you're there.

짜니: Can't you teleport inside? It's cold out, and I'm sure Sydney is nice and warm right now.

You: It's dangerous to teleport inside buildings I'm not familiar with, someone could get hurt. And I'll put a coat on. I didn't say I was in Sydney, are you following my tour updates in Twitter? 👀👀

짜니: Maybe... are you on bubble?

You: Fair enough. I'll be there in a minute, just grabbing my coat.

짜니: where are you teleporting to? The street? The roof?

You: I'll take a look at google street view and aerial view first, the roof next to, less people get scared that way.

Putting on your coat from your visit to Mongolia, you scrounged up the last of your energy to teleport.

----------------------

The sound of the streets below filled your ears while you took in your new surroundings. You wish you had the energy to enjoy being in Seoul, but you really needed to rest. You had already expended most of your energy on the last reports for the sleep clinic tour that day and sending sleep sand to a last few clients. Gathering the sand to your hand, you jumped when your phone rang, the sand falling to the ground.

You couldn't believe your eyes, it was Chan calling. Shakily, you looked around and hit the answer button, holding it up to your ear. Was he okay? Was something wrong?

"H-Hello? Chan?"

"You picked up! Awesome! Look across the street!"

Looking up you couldn't help but giggle at the sight of Chan jumping up and down at the JYP roof, waving his arm in the air frantically, the other holding his phone to his ear.

"I think it's you who just waved back, but just checking, your not in your costume?" His excited voice rang back.

"Ha, Ya that's me." You stalled, still a little in awe and relived that he was okay. "The costume draws too much attention if I just planned on being in and out."

"Your leaving already?" His voice sounded sad as you saw his hand stop waving and slowly lower. How was he so adorable? It broke your heart.

Your pause left him to fill the silence. "Well at least I know your hair colour now, it looks really pretty, from what I can see over here."

You laughed again into the phone, trying to find the words. Chan was quickly becoming one of your favourite persons to talk to, and you could see yourself quickly falling for him too. You even felt you trusted him enough to let him see you without your costume from far away.

"Chan, I-"

"Don't send the sand just yet. Can we talk for a little more, just like this?"

The emotion in his voice made you want to cry. He used to be just your favourite comfort vlog to watch, but was worming his way further into your heart, and you found it so hard to say no to him, especially when you wanted to spend more time with him too.

"Okay, but just for a little bit, I'm in my pjs and a winter coat."

"Oh! I have some hand warmers! I'm not sure how to get to the roof of that building tho." He looked around to the street below.

"Chan, I'm not wearing my mask."

"Oh..." You weren't sure how to interpret the emotion there. "Um, ya that's OK, I can grab you a face mask too if you're not comfortable with me yet." He sounded a little hurt.

"Hey! I didn't mean it like that, it's just, it's a big step, ok? Only my closest friends know it's me behind the mask."

Silence answered you on the line, and you wondered what you said wrong, how could you make him understand?

"What if I come again another time without the mask? I'm so sorry Chan, it's just teleporting takes a lot out of me and I've already spent most of my energy today." You explained.

"Do you wanna come to my studio and take a nap? Hear a track? Trade a secret for a secret? Only my closest friends hear me making tracks." His voice went higher and higher, sounding hopeful.

You stared in disbelief. Was this really happening? Your little stay heart was jumping up and down at the prospect of hearing a new track from him.

"Ok" Your mouth had already answered before you could really think about it. "But I'd like a mask at first please, at least till we get to the studio." You quickly added. You found reveals were always easier in steps.

You found the alley next to the building and floated down to ground level. Sandies couldn't usually fly, it was almost always more of a controlled fall and some could float. Getting settled, you peeked out of the alley way before you felt a tap on your shoulder.

"I'm not looking!" Chan was in front of you, covering his eyes. "Here's a mask for you." You looked to his outstretched arm to find a mask matching the one on his face. It made sense, being so close to the building, he probably got stopped by fans a lot.

"Thank-you." You took it from his hands and put it on. "You can open your eyes now."

Chan let his hand drop from his eyes and stared.

"Oh wow, damn, ok. Sorry, you, you're gorgeous." He looked at you in adoration.

"Chan," You giggled. "You haven't even seen the rest of my face. It could be severely distorted for all you know."

"Nope. Impossible, I can tell even from when you have your mask on that you have a nice jawline and lips." He crossed his arms in triumph.

You crossed your arms too, matching his stance. "Oh really? You've been looking at my lips?" You flirted.

The tips of Chan's ears went red. "Hey, stop that." He said halfheartedly.

-------

You followed Chan with your eyes as he took to the stairs with a windows facing you, looking for where he stopped so that you could try teleporting and skip the security questions. You appeared behind Chan, and had fun tapping him on the shoulder and scaring him. He took you down the hall to his current studio. Once you settled into a seat near his laptop, you took your mask off. You found in the past that it was like ripping of a band-aid, and much easier if you just got it over with. "Okay, I've revealed my face, time to keep up your end of the deal."

Chan looked over and stared. A smile grew on his face. "See, I told you it's impossible. You're more beautiful than I imagined."

Your face turned beat red. "Hey, you stop that. I know you're used to flirting with stays, but if you keep it up you're going to give me ideas."

Chan grinned back at you and leaned in, even as red covered his cheeks. "And what if I want you to get ideas?"

You stared at him as he stated back at you. You couldn't believe him an shook your head. "Very funny. Actually, no, not funny. Stop playing with my feelings and show me the song."

He paused, looking a little offended, and turned around, apparently letting up to give you some breathing room. You saw his eyes from the side keep glancing back at you as his face stayed turned to the laptop screen. After finding the right file, and listening to make sure it was acceptable, he took the headphones off and put them on your head. The song that played was in English, with only Chan's vocals. It told of a story of a mysterious lady he only ever saw when he couldn't sleep, or in his dreams. There were even a few quotes that you had shared with him as your favourite sayings in your conversations over text. Your eyes teared up at the thought of Chan writing a song for you. You covered your mouth with your hand and tried not to cry, the tiredness of the day and all the excitement and feelings taking over.

Chan turned at the sound of your big sniff, and was alarmed out of his seat. "Hey! Are you ok? I didn't mean to make you cry!" He put his hands on your shoulders.

"I'm so sorry, I'm just a mess. It's just pretty overwhelming to have you write a song for me. I didn't think I'd ever even get to meet you, just see you at concerts." You wiped your tears away while he stared in concern, rubbing your arms.

"Aha! So you have been to our concerts. But we'll talk about that later, come here." He drew you into his arms. You hesitated at first, but quickly hugged back. His hugs were better than you imagined through his vlogs.

Once you calmed down, you let out a deep breath and let go. "I'm so sorry, I can go now, I'm such a mess."

"What? No, you need to take a nap, remember?" His puppy dog eyes looked back at you. Your resolve to run away in embarrassment crumbled. He had you wrapped around his little finger and he didn't even know it.

"Okay, but I'm setting a timer on my phone. Just twenty minutes and that will be enough for me to teleport back. And then you're getting sleep sand mister, don't think I forgot." You tried to sound authoritative but it just came out sleepy.

Chan stared back at you chuckling, seeming to debate arguing. "Okay. I'll finish up what I'm doing and then wake you up."

You fell asleep very quickly after that on the couch while Chan tidied up his things from the day at the studio. Before your alarm went off, Chan sat down next you to get a closer look at your face. He tried to memorize it best he could, feeling taking a picture would break your fragile trust that he had finally built up enough to get this far. His phone lit up in his phone, a message from Han, wondering if he Changbin left his phone in the studio. Chan quickly tried to come up with an excuse, saying he was just packing up before the door opened.

Chan stared at Han, feeling he was caught red-handed.

"Umm, this is not what it looks like." Chan tried to explain.

"Really, cause it looks like you let some lady in her pajams sleep in your studio. Is this that girl you've been texting that you won't tell us about?"

"What? I haven't-. Ok. Yes, you're right, but keep your voice down, take the phone and close the door before she wakes up, I'll explain when I get home."

"Ok hyung, you better have a good explanation, this would be a huge scandal."

'I know." His voice let Han know he knew how serious this was for all of them.

-----------------------

Preview of Part 2:

"She's in a coma."

"I was gonna marry that girl."

"Chan's gonna marry my sister, you know."

"Did you see the headlines?"

#bang chan fluff #bang chan x reader #bang chan x y/n #bang chan #skz #reader insert #female reader #skz imagines #x reader #stray kids #Chris bang #superhero #fanfic #skz fanfic

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jelazakazone · 2 years

Text

Liminal spaces in ep 6 of Heartstopper

As always, endless thanks to @barrows-teeth and @herewetumble for their insights and editing help and BT’s lovely gifs! Find the master post here.

Episode 6 starts with Nick googling “best lgbtq+ films'' on his phone just before his mum says “Mamma Mia.” Nick rejects this suggestion and his mom leaves the room to dish up pizza. Nick is still looking at the list on his phone, snuggled next to Nellie, when Sarah Nelson comes back and suggests “Pirates of the Caribbean.” Nick looks like he wants to say something else, but just says “yeah.”

As they watch the movie, Sarah comments that they had to watch the movie every evening when Nick was 11 and she knew it was because he liked Kiera Knightly. Nick resists “Mum!” “What, she’s a very pretty girl.” “Please stop talking!” They turn to watch the movie and we can see Nick struggling with the recognition that he is attracted to Kiera Knightly as well as Orlando Bloom. (Many have commented on how relatable this scene is for their bisexual awakenings occurred similarly.)

We have seen how comfortable Nick is in his kitchen with his mum and I think the living room is an extension of that space. He’s not ready to come out to his mum yet, but he’s more able to fully consider who he is.

Back in the fuller privacy of his room, he listens to the bisexual vlogger and seems to start coming to terms with his own sexual identity.

Meanwhile, the girls are having lunch in the canteen. Darcy quips “this is an interesting lunchtime gathering we’ve got going on here” as Tara and Elle both poke at their phones. Tara has just posted about her relationship with Darcy on Instagram and is getting mixed reactions, so she is happy for the distraction Darcy provides when she asks what Elle’s up to (looking at Timothee Chalamet’s Instagram? :)). Tara says “probably texting Tao” and they coax out of her that she does have a crush on Tao. “I knew it,” squeaks Tara. It is clear Elle has settled in and found her place with Tara and Darcy—a stark contrast to the day she walked in and the door closed behind her, leaving us all with an instant of panic — was she trapped in a lonely hell?

We have another scene of Charlie and Tao interacting with Harry outside school near the picnic tables which goes according to toxic masculinist ideas of heteronormativity. “Watch out Dicknozzle,” Harry spouts. Tao retorts, “if you want my attention that badly, why don’t you just throw something at me, like your last remaining brain cell.” Harry is left speechless and on his own turf, at that.

They walk past Nick and Imogen sitting on one of the tables. Tao gives Nick a disgusted look. Nick looks at Charlie like he feels sorry about something.

Tara is sitting in an instrument room, flipping through mixed comments on Instagram again. Darcy joins her and Tara warns her to “mind the door, that’s the one that locks you in if you let it shut.” Darcy reminisces that this is “the room...the special room, [they] got locked in and had [their] first kiss.” I love the fact that their first kiss was literally in a locked closet, before Tara was out. The orchestra teacher finds them and chastises them for being late for rehearsal. They remark she’s literally the only one in a 50 mile radius who doesn’t know they are together. So, maybe part of that closet still remains (and reminds us that we are always coming out).

In the orchestra room, one girl says to Tara “I never would have guessed you were gay, but it’s so cool and brave of you” and a few minutes later, in the background, we hear girls responding with disgust to Darcy’s comment about same-sex schools being a waste from her perspective “as an absolute lesbian.” Where the closet was a safe space for the girls, the open classroom is not.

Nick and Charlie are lying on a blanket in the park and Nick says “How did you realize you were gay?” This is the first time we’ve seen Nick talk to someone about being queer. He’s been researching the topic in the privacy of his own bedroom (and obviously kissing Charlie in secluded locations) but this is the first time the topic has been raised in a more public environment. Charlie is secure with his identity (“It’s always been boys”) but Nick makes faces and Charlie guesses Nick “didn’t feel the same when he was little.”

This is reminiscent of the park with Imogen, when Nick was saying he had buried his real self and he was trying to figure out where he fit. Now, he says again “I don’t know what [sexuality] I am.” But with Charlie, he can be more clear about the topic and the open air reinforces our impression that Nick is becoming more comfortable with sharing his full self. Charlie even says that Nick doesn’t have to figure it out right now and that even he didn’t wake up one day and say “oh, look, guess I’m gay now.” Society informs who we are. We aren’t defining ourselves in a vacuum. But when a couple walks by with a dog as they are about to kiss, Nick sits up suddenly, breaking it off. He is not ready.

Nick accompanies Charlie into the gym for rehearsal and asks if he can attend the performance. Charlie moves away to get his drum kit set up and Tara walks up, taking Charlie’s position on the floor. They make a little small talk and then Nick tells Tara that he and Charlie are sort of “going out, but please don’t tell anyone.” Tara says “It’s funny how things turned out between us,” referring to the kiss they shared 3 years ago and they both agree that irony is not lost on them.

Nick asks if the girls are out to their friends, and Tara talks about posting it on Instagram.

Nick is clearly grappling with how much of himself and his relationship with Charlie he is comfortable putting out there. I think it’s interesting that the conversation is happening in the school gym, a location typically known for heteronormative relationships in sports.

Nick takes Tara up on her invitation to join her and Darcy for lunch on the field. On the other side of the fence, we hear Harry bullying Tao: “Not having lunch with your boyfriend?” Meanwhile, enclosed in their own private bubble, Nick shares “I’m not really out, yet” and “I don’t even know what my sexuality is” while chatting with them. Darcy and Tara accept him for who he is, regardless of labels. Again, it’s interesting that this is happening on a sport field, another spot typical for reinforcing heteronormativity. Darcy suggests a double date and Nick agrees, saying, “I like milkshakes.”

In front of the door to the orchestra room, Darcy encourages Nick not to come out if he’s not ready. Nick asks Tara if she’s sure she’s gay or if she might be bi. Tara says kissing Nick was one of the things that convinced her she didn’t like kissing boys. As they stand outside in front of an open door, Nick reveals they are the first people he’s told about Charlie. Nick is starting to open his own door and come out a little bit more. Tara asks him if it feels good. He smiles. “Yeah, it really does.” AND WE ALL MELT.

Charlie is on his bed, lit up by the sun, waiting for Nick to come ‘round. Tori appears in the doorway and seems to know what’s up, even though Charlie can’t admit anything to her. On the floor, the boys are studying and Nick lets Charlie know that he has told Tara and Darcy that they are dating. Charlie’s bedroom has changed for Nick from a space of confusion to refuge to safety.

As Nick leaves, he tells Charlie about the proposed milkshake date and Charlie eagerly agrees. Nick opens the door, leaving it for Charlie to close. He looks back and waves goodbye before turning around and walking away. This time, there is just nice, bright sunlight as the door stays open.

First to appear at the milkshake cafe are Tao and Elle. They are being their silly authentic selves out in the fresh air, but not at all open about their feelings for each other. And neither knows about Nick and Charlie, yet. The six friends sit under a tent and chat while having their milkshakes. Tao suggests having a second round. Nick and Charlie leave first to get the shakes. Charlie asks Nick out on a proper date (sometime) and immediately takes it back. It is as if the fresh air has pumped up Charlie’s courage for a split second. Luckily, he is with Nick, who thinks it’s a lovely idea.

When Tao goes to help get the second round, Elle finds out her friends have been plotting without her consent to try to set her and Tao up. She is upset about this because she doesn’t want anything else to change. Nick and Charlie return to the table while Tao waits for the last two and Elle finds out that Nick and Charlie are together. It is worth noting that they are under the tent (the relationship is still a secret to all but these five) while Tao is out in “dark,” alone.

In the gym, Nick sits with Charlie at his drum kit. They are bathed in a beam of light. Nick says he’s been researching bisexuality and he thinks that might be him. Does Charlie’s drum kit have a protective force field around it? Maybe so.

Meanwhile, Tara has run out of the room to escape the persistent homophobia surrounding her. She retreats to the secret (make out) instrument closet and Darcy follows, forgetting to leave the door open. Tara didn’t realize how differently she’d be treated after she came out and “just wants to live her life.” Darcy insists they can do that. In the meantime, Nick, Charlie, Elle, and Tao have been running from door to door looking for them.

As they all run back to the concert, Tara and Darcy hold hands. Nick reaches out for Charlie’s hand and Charlie grabs it just as they pass a brightly lit window. Elle follows, waving encouragingly at Tao who lags behind. Tara and Darcy are leading the way, modeling one way of being out, and Nick and Charlie are following in their footsteps.

#heartstopper #meta #doorways #jela rambles #yes I will dissect this show into a zillion pieces of confetti

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leaveharmony · 8 months

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Holy shit

(child abuse cw)

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witchybiitchy · 2 years

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c’est ça l’amour | l.n

fic masterlist

chapter 3

“I swear, if I get asked one more time if I'm a snob, I'm going to take a vow of silence." Sydney said on the phone to her mum. They were in Spain, but her parents usually only came to the French GP because they had to work. They weren’t exactly middle class, she was a woman in F1 after all, that doesn’t come cheap, but they hadn’t reached the level of wealth where you can stop working in a regular 9 to 5 format.

“No, mum, it's not every question, but it's at least 1 out of 10, and the way they ask it is so irritating.”

“I know, I know - no, mum, I promise.”

“Yeah, mum, yeah, okay, see you.” Sydney hung up the phone and felt eyes on her, but when she turned around all she saw was the orange and white of the McLaren team in the paddock. She must’ve been paranoid. While the response online had essentially calmed to nothing, it was as if the apathy of the fans sparked some kind of craze in the media, and now she was getting asked several times a day if she hated speaking English or if she would prefer to only do French interviews and everything else ridiculous in that vein. She could smile and laugh it off, and everyone was treating it as a funny little joke, but it was still getting under her skin. She was overly conscious of speaking to her parents on the phone, and if she hadn’t been super social before she was essentially a mute now. It was enough that she had to speak English all day every day for her job, but to feel bad when she let herself speak French around Pierre was another level of exhaustion that could only be felt by having to semi-translate every single thing you say.

“Sydney, oh, good, I was just about to call you in, we’re gonna film a little video for the youtube channel.” Daisy said, poking her head through the doorway. Sydney smiled; as cheesy as they were, she did love a good youtube challenge. It fulfilled her ten year old self’s dreams of becoming a vlogger.

“What are we doing today?”

“Playing guess who.” Daisy said, smiling. She knew that Sydney much preferred games to interview type videos.

“Pierre, you ready to lose?" Sydney said as she walked over to some chairs next to a big window with a table, the guess who already set up in the middle.

“You really don't listen, huh? No. French.” He said, grinning. Sydney rolled her eyes but did make a mental note to try not to slip into it.

“I think that I will manage.” She said. Daisy came over to fix them up a little bit, and Sydney giggled at Pierre as he got his fringe fluffed around and wore a zoned out expression. He just smiled at her after Daisy left to behind the camera, and they shuffled around in their seats to get comfortable before the camera switched on.

“So, the rules are that you’ll pick a card, and then you each have to ask yes or no questions to guess who the other person has on their card. There’s a mix of formula 1 and general celebrities that you could get.” Daisy explained, more for the structure of the video than for their knowledge.

“Okay, ladies first.” Pierre said, and Sydney picked up her card. It was Lando Norris, and she felt the cameras pan in on the card behind her. Pierre picked up his card and smiled. Sydney was about to speak, and had to stop herself from starting in French.

“What are you making that face for, huh?” She said, and he just grinned wider.

“That isn’t a yes or no question.” He laughed.

“Okay, Syd you start.” Daisy said, trying to stop them from just chatting normally.

“Okay, Pierre.” She said faux seriously.

“Yes.” He replied in the same manner.

“Are they male?”

“Yes.” He answered, and she flipped down about a third of the tiles. Not bad for a first go.

“Sydney.”

“Ou-es.” He gave her a knowing smile at her near slip up, and she widened her eyes in warning.

“Is your person...female?” She threw her arms up lightly and rolled her eyes.

“That is cheating, you stole my question.”

“Yes or no only, remember.” He grinned.

“Okay, fine. No.” Pierre flipped down the exact same tiles and looked up expectantly through his blonde fringe. Luckily Daisy hadn’t made them wear caps for this.

“Is your person,” She scanned the possible options, “a pilot?”

“Pilot?” He said, grinning.

“Driver, driver, I mean driver.” She said, laughing but still a little bit embarrassed.

“No.” She flipped down another chunk of tiles.

“You cannot steal that question, otherwise you will make this too boring.” She said pointing a finger in warning, and he held up his hands in surrender.

“Okay, okay, is your person, euh, young?”

“What is young? That is not a yes or no question Pierre, play the game properly.” Sydney said, still with her mock serious tone.

“Um, below 30.” He said.

“Okay, euh, no.” He flipped down lots of tiles.

“No, wait,” she interjected. “Yes, he is, he is under 30.” Pierre groaned jokingly and hung his head back, exposing his adam's apple.

“Syd, play the game properly.” They both smiled as he went through a few of his tiles. “If you win, I won’t accept it. 5 second time penalty.” She laughed.

“My question, is your person a sports person?”

“Yes.” She looked at her tiles and realised that she only had sports players left anyway.

“Okay, well, I did not think about that question and I only have sports players so there is your penalty.”

“I’m going to ask a controversial question.” Pierre said.

“It has to be yes or no though.”

“Yes, yes I know. Is your person, euh, attractive?” Sydney laughed and looked at Pierre questioningly.

“Like, to everyone or to me especially?” He smiled even wider.

“Whichever one. But you can’t try and trick me.”

“Okay, okay, um,” she observed the photo of Lando. He wasn’t bad looking. “Yes, yes he is attractive.” Pierre whistled and Sydney laughed again. “You asked me, I don’t want to say no and offend people.”

“But now if I put down tiles I am calling people ugly.” Pierre said incredulously.

“Well maybe if you were playing properly it would not be an issue.” Sydney had basically forgotten about the cameras, and tried to get them back on track. “My turn, is your person tall?” Pierre laughed again. “What? What’s wrong with that one?”

“Nothing, nothing, euh, I don’t know, can I google?” He looked over at Daisy and she nodded. He typed a few things into his phone and nodded. “Yes, he is tall.” Sydney flipped down a few people she didn’t think were that tall, and had 4 people left. She was definitely winning.

“Are you going to ask another, euh, controversial question?” She laughed.

“No, no, look at this, I need to catch up. Euhm.” He put his elbow on his knee and his hand on his palm. “Is your person British?”

“Yes.” She said confidently.

“Are you sure?” He joked and she pursed her lips. “Okay, okay.” He flipped a few more tiles down and they were pretty much even.

“Is your person from,” she looked over her tiles. Tom Brady, Federer, Djokovic, and Ronaldo. She decided just to take a guess. “Euh, I don’t know if it’s the same in English.” Pierre gave her a look but Daisy nodded her head. “Serbie?” Pierre sat back in his chair again.

“What, was I right?” She grinned, and he nodded his head. “Is it Djokovic?” He nodded again.

“I cannot believe this, you definitely cheated.”

“I am just a natural. Anyway, I am learning, what is Serbie in English?” Pierre laughed as he flipped all his tiles up again.

“Serbia, it is almost exactly the same.”

“Oh.” She laughed, but felt embarrassed again. They played a few more games before Daisy was satisfied with the footage and let them relax for a few minutes before their track walks.

“I forgot to ask,” Pierre started, running a hand through his hair. "Who was the attractive person?" Sydney blushed.

“Lando.”

“Ooooh.” Pierre started.

“I couldn't say that he's ugly, I had no other choice.” Sydney replied, getting defensive.

“Okay, okay, whatever.” He said with his hands up.

"Why did you ask me anyway?”

“Eh, it's funny, no?” Sydney hit him on the arm as their respective race engineers called them away to do their walks.

“Bye.” He sang as he departed first. Sydney looked over to see Daisy smiling at her before quickly snapping down to her phone.

“What? Why are you looking like that?” Sydney interrogated.

“No reason, anyway, you’re being beckoned.” Daisy said, gesturing to her race engineer, still trying to suppress a smile.

“What’s up?” He asked.

“Not much, I absolutely destroyed Pierre at that game though.” Sydney replied, knowing Pierre was still in earshot. He turned around to glare at her, but didn’t make any reply.

“Naturally.” Her engineer laughed, and they made their way onto the track. The hour or so allowed her to get fully into her favourite mode, where all she could think about was racing. It was abruptly punctured when she reentered the paddock and was steered away by Daisy. Apparently they were already running late for more press. She spotted Pierre already sitting on a stool, chatting to the Ziggo interviewer. She sped walked over and sat down, flashing them both her media smile and shaking hands with the interviewer.

“Hello Pierre, Sydney, it is wonderful to be here today speaking with you. You two have developed quite the friendship, but am I right in thinking that you didn’t really get along before this year?” The pair laughed, and Sydney looked at Pierre to answer.

“No, I wouldn’t say that. We were never really in karting at the same time, and I just don’t think we really spoke properly before Sydney entered the team, but we are definitely good friends now.”

“And Sydney, is it helpful to get along with your teammate so well in your first year in F1?” Her smile was still on her face, good.

“Yeah, I really got lucky to have Pierre as a teammate, I was a little bit stressed out that we wouldn’t get along but from the first day we have had a lot of fun spending time together.”

“And the French thing probably helps, right?” The interviewer chuckled, and so did the pair of them, although Sydney felt her shoulders sag at the direction of the conversation.

“Yes, it’s nice to have someone to speak casually with in your first language, you don’t have to think as much, you know.” Pierre answered, delaying the inevitable.

“But Sydney, it’s become a bit of a rumour that you hate speaking English, would you say that’s why you and Pierre get along so well?” She restrained herself from rolling her eyes, and felt Daisy’s prepared answers tugging at her lips but decided to ignore them.

“I honestly do not know how that thing became, euh, something that everyone asks me about, I am not amazing at English, sure, but I don’t mind speaking it. It is just that when I cannot understand things it is a bit embarrassing for me, you know? But no, I do not mind to speak English, and obviously I feel more, euh, fluent in French but if that was all I liked about Pierre I would just hang out with Esteban or Charles.” They all laughed, and she was glad she hadn’t made things tense by being too confrontational. Surprisingly, that was their only interview for the day, and once it got wrapped up they could head back to the offices.

“I feel bad that you get all those questions about hating English. It's annoying for me and they're not even my questions.” Pierre huffed as they walked back.

“It's not that bad, I'm just tired of them, you know?” Pierre nodded and they progressed in silence.

“I don't wanna speak English with you, cos that would be so weird,” they both laughed, “but, pff, I don't know” Sydney sighed. “I dunno what to do.”

“Mm, I don't know either.” He said, shrugging, and Sydney pushed him to try and make him stop looking so serious.

“You're so helpful.” She said sarcastically.

"Anytime.” He grinned.

#lando norris #lando norris imagine #lando norris one shot #lando norris x oc #formula 1 #formula 1 imagine #formula 1 one shot #formula 1 fic

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bryonyashaw · 1 year

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A post shared by Bryony | Lifestyle | family | foodie (@bryonyannie)

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𝗔 𝗥𝗼𝘆𝗮𝗹 𝗕𝗮𝗻𝗸 𝗛𝗼𝗹𝗶𝗱𝗮𝘆 𝗪𝗲𝗲𝗸𝗲𝗻𝗱!

(Photo dump edition)

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faeriegirldaydream · 2 years

Text

I think we need to talk more abt the boys in present day California - does Marko get matcha lattes? He definitely goes to a Pilates class. He likes befriending yoga mums - their plant based diets make them excellent snacks.

Paul goes to a dispensary and buys wedding cake and lemon drizzle - which David refuses to smoke on principle. He ends up getting a job there. He gives me big vlogger energy - definitely has a review channel for his newest strains.

Dwayne re-wired the cave so that they can have an Alexa - which is very helpful when arguments over historical events start- and they start. He runs a music channel- I can see him posting anonymous virtuoso guitar covers. Like really subtle flexing. I mean he’s had decades to practice… so he’s gotta be pretty good?

And David… David definitely had a Mac set up. He uses it as a surveillance he likes playing cat and mouse with the cops. Will they find the latest bodies ?? He definitely has a drone for in the day, so he can nosy at what’s going on

They have a ring doorbell- just for laughs.

BONUS • star learns aerial hoop and becomes an international performer - and launches a range on athletic wear

i should probably sleep but I’m on a lost boys kick and this will now become a lost boys acc

#lost boys #lost boys imagine #dwayne the lost boys #david the lost boys #paul the lost boys #marko the lost boys #lost boys 1987 #writing #drabble #lost boys fandom

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izzy-b-hands · 11 months

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I think I’ve identified the main issue w/the latest rizzy fic, but fuck me if I can figure out how to fix it.

I don’t know exactly where it’s going.

Normally, this isn’t an issue. I tend to let the story flower as I go, and trim as needed.

But I’m absolutely staggered with this one, where it’s either (major spoilers for this modern AU fic plot here no matter what direction I go with it in the end, but if you don’t mind that/are curious abt the text blocks of info doing my head in, read on lmao):

Version A: Roach (independent food/chef vlogger) gets too into his May 31st project (a crepe cake) and works into June 1st, only to be reminded by Izzy of his extensively planned Pride Month activities/ideas, that Roach had advertised all the month of May as starting IMMEDIATELY on the first (aka he should already have a video of a themed dish up, but he doesn’t bc he’s on Cake Ten of the crepe cake, and their pantry is now fucking empty too.) Fic (tentatively for now) would end with Izzy figuring out how to help him A. finally finish a satisfactory crepe cake (to Roach’s standards, aka Very Fucking High), B. rapid fire choose and film one of his themed ideas for the Pride Month stuff, and C. eventually sleep bc all of this is going down at like. One in the morning.

Version B: All of the above up until Izzy’s part. Instead of figuring it out that night, he gets Roach to bed and does what he can to help before leaving for his own job (PA/Security/Other Duties As Assigned to the combined very rich household of Ed, Stede, Mary, Doug, and the kids (in a huge shared house, so they aren’t in each other’s faces if they don’t wanna be, plus Ed & Stede are implied to own other property they spend time at too.))

The issue with Version B is that I worry the thing is getting too Big:

now I have a subplot started there about Izzy admitting to Mary (when he drops in for the morning to take the kids to school and give both couples of the house one of the reject cakes that Roach has deemed won’t be used at all by him. They have ten fucking cakes in the fridge, getting rid of two barely puts a dent in it tbh)

that his mum passed, in England (implied that everyone else is living in the States or NZ, I’m not exactly sure where I wanna put them yet frankly bc either is fine like I DON’T ACTUALLY CARE BUT I GOTTA IMPLY ONE OR THE OTHER DON’T I) last year, during June.

And he just didn’t tell anyone bc A. everyone was busy w/their own lives, B. Roach was doing his usual Pride Month stuff, and Izzy always helps him film/cook/etc for any bigger projects whenever he can, and he didn’t wanna distract from that, and C. he and his mum had a Complex relationship, so he probably wasn’t going to go visit her before she died anyway (secretly, he wishes he had. Only one who knows anything abt how Izzy and his mum interacted is Ed, who tbh has gotten distracted from any of that stuff since meeting Stede and focusing on helping create the shared family they have w/Mary, Doug, and the kids. Which is absolutely fair, but still. For the sake of their friendship, it will need Addressing of some kind, at some point.)

Like all of this is fine in theory, but it already feels sort of out of control? Bc like I then need to address in a finished version of B:

-Izzy and his mum

-Izzy and Ed

-Izzy and his relationship w/Ed, Stede, Mary, Doug, and the kids. Only bc there’s the implication that while it’s good and fairly easy work for Izzy, he occasionally does feel/get treated like The Help during work hours vs someone they actually know well who happens to work for them, and they sort of. Forget that once his shift is done for the day, he might still hang out just as a friend of the family, and they don’t always remember to turn off that Voice of talking To The Help in those moments (with it being noted that Roach and other crew members have witnessed this, but have leaned on Izzy to sort of give them permission to call it out, which of course he isn’t gonna do for fear of it fucking up their arrangement, and he doesn’t wanna job search in his mid-fifties. Which I think is valid enough lol.)

-Roach and his Pride Month problem (aka he’s got all the research in front of him, in this case the idea that he’ll highlight dishes that were beloved by notable/famous ppl w/in the LGBTQ community, but Actually, that isn’t always info that’s easy to find and some of it is more basic foods which he expected, and it’s fine, except he really wanted to challenge himself and maybe if he just looks a little more he can find something else-cut to two hours later and he’s asleep on his laptop. This isn’t even getting into the actual cooking and videoing of said cooking. He needs a Break.)

-Roach and Izzy addressing their mutual issue of ‘working too goddamn much, but not knowing how to take breaks and not feel Terrible and Useless during them.’ It isn’t necessarily hurting their relationship, but it is making them both more stressed than they need to be, and neither of them knows how to calm their brains down enough to understand that they can, in fact, budget for a small break or a vacation and nothing bad will happen.

-The kids and their implied issue w/mainly Mary and Stede (Ed and Doug hang back and are still doing the ‘I’m a new stepparent and I don’t wanna fuck up and overdo any of this, so I just sort of do what my spouse tells me to do re: the kids’ discipline/scheduling/etc), that they’re forcing them into an obscene amount of extra activities (including night tennis lessons, that require Izzy to also stay/work late, not getting them home until nearly ten at night, and himself then even later.) I don’t think they actually allow night tennis of any kind for kids unless it’s like. a fun now and again event, but to me it sounds exactly like what Mary and Stede would get talked into signing the kids up for. After all, it’ll look good on various school applications, and there’s nearly two whole hours after the after school study groups and other sports they play, surely the kids don’t want to sit and do nothing then? (spoiler alert: they do. they just want to sit and do nothing and be kids, which Mary and Stede do know, but have forgotten in the mess of getting divorced, then watching each other get remarried nearly right away, then realising it would easier/cheaper to try and share a home and keep the kids stable under one roof and moving everyone in together. Not an excuse, just an explanation.)

And that’s. So Much Stuff for one fic. And that’s WITHOUT figuring out what I want the main goal/ending to look like for sure. I won’t lie and say I’m good at multichaptered fics, I’m very much not, but I think that’s the only way Version B could work. And Version B, for what it’s worth, I think could be very satisfying and interesting as a read.

Version A, on the other hand, would be shorter, less dramatic, and would probably involve just Izzy and Roach, whereas Version B eventually would at least be referencing that like. The crew we know and love still work for Ed and Stede and whatever they do in this modern AU (marketing that only involves nautical/maritime/marine life themes maybe? does it matter in the end if it gets mentioned vaguely all of once???)

Even then, we still have the issue of: where in the FUCK is any of this going? What’s the point?

Version A, to me rn, is much more focused on rizzy and the internal dynamic there, focusing hard on the comfort of their life together and tackling problems together. I could probably just pull together something cute abt Izzy trying to fix the latest crepe cake while Roach films his first Pride video. Like my current tentative ending isn’t horrible. Nothing to write home abt, but it’s Fine, ya know?

Version B, to me again dlksajf, is a bigger overall picture that frustratingly, as of yet, doesn’t have a real huge or distinct end goal. It’s less of a ‘here’s a set ending with clear wins and losses’ and more of a ‘life and ppl are messy, no matter how hard anyone tries. Everyone here is doing their best, and learning. Here’s how they’re doing by the end and what they’ve managed to learn/work on, with the implication that they’re gonna keep learning and doing better, but not without fucking up more first bc. Human’

But are either of those actually fucking satsifying???? I wish I knew!!! I was absolutely flying along writing the draft for Version B until all of the above shit knocked on the door of my brain and put up a goddamn roadblock!!!

This is so much info, but if you’ve read this far and have any thoughts/opinions on which of these seems more worth pursuing, please let me know somehow. I’m dying to brainstorm & bounce ideas around w/folks. But even if u just wanna say ‘nah Version A sucks do B’ or vice versa. Pls say it fdksafalk

#text post #long post #will very much appreciate anyone's input even if it is just to say you like Version A vs B or vice versa flkdjsalkfj #it's almost one am i should go shower #but I'm just not...feeling sleeping rn #i could clean up and pull out the laptop after when I'm in bed proper but eughhhh what if I kill my tiny bit of motivation #by getting up and doing other stuff #THIS WAS JUST SUPPOSED TO BE ROACH AND IZZY COOKING SOMETHING TOGETHER FOR PRIDE AND BEING CUTE HOW DID I FUCKING GET HERE

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