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windsweptinred · 3 months

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10 Characters/10 Fandoms /10 Tags

Thank you for the tag @two-hands-toward-the-sun, this took me on a deep delve of my fandom past! Time to roll out my gaggle of glorious bastards again...

1. Ken Ichijouji - Digimon 02

Babies first blorbo. Puppy kicking, whip weilding antagonist who giveth not a shiteth. With a soul as black as his gloriously groomed locks. Who, by the power of love is transformed into the soggiest little puddle of twink you ever did see. Tragic backstory ✔️ A smorgasbord of issues ✔️ A realtionship with their rival/best friend so obbsessive, you're going to have a harder time proving this ship isn't a thing than it is. ✔️ Ken Ichijouji came with everything a young, naive millennial needed to make their first glorious steps into the world of fandom.

2. Ryou Bakura/Yami Bakura/Theif King Bakura - (Same body, they count as one!) Yu-Gi-Oh

Ryou Bakura - Adorable British cupcake with the soul of a traumatised lovecraftian cultist. Staring into the abyss while having afternoon tea. Gothic horror in a cream knit.

Yami Bakura - Actual murder floof, the walking personification of a horror podcast. In his wake trails body gore, supernatural mystery and gay subtext. Part demon, part Egyptian theif, 100% bringing sexy back. (bonus points: Florence)

Thief King Bakura - Traumatic back story maketh homicidal rogue. Wears red, has a social circle made up of ghosts and snake monsters... Is this not prime husband material?

3. Starscream - Transformers

Darling little duplicitous second in command of the Decepticons. Not just any 'Little Shit', THE 'Little Shit'. Simulatiously the dumbest and cleverest bot in any room. And that, my friends, takes a particular breed of talent. Negative traits, scheming, petty, fabulous. Postive traits, scheming, petty, fabulous. Repetitive attempts to off Megatron, play of either the power or fore variety. Not sure which, could be both.

4. Darth Maul/ General Armitage Hux- Star Wars

I will not and cannot choose a favourite between them. Instead, watch with wonder and awe as I neatly compress them into the same blurb...

Sad meow meow with self-worth issues does galactic war crimes to prove 'daddy' wrong. What do you mean my fixation with thwarting my archnemeis can't be classed as a hobby/career goal/life ambition? My voice can launch a thousand ships... Different circumstances, same truth. Such a pathetic little sausage, you'll want to sit them down and feed them soup. But they know atleast 101 ways to kill you with the spoon... So best not risk it.

5. Crowley - Supernatural

The diabolical king of cunt serving. Me and my athletic calves are doing this right thing for all wrong reasons...And you can't prove other wise! Alignment: Risk it for a biscuit. Four step program to deal with all life's problems: 1: flirt at it, 2: shout at it, 3: throw (please pick your chosen Winchester or, if pushed, tailor) at it. 4:... Yell bollocks and follow with a whiskey chaser.

6. Desire/Destiny of the Endless - The Sandman

Again, not picking. Desire, my darling little hell kitten. Destiny, my inglorious bastard in brown...

This is my world, you MFs all just live in it!

My emotions... Which I do not have, are the route cause of everyone else's problems.

Ah humanity, the dust bunnies upon which I sneeze.

Even in a glorified bathrobe, I'm still better then you, and you know it.

It is a truth universally acknowledged, that Dream of the Endless is a f*cking dumb ass.

7. Remy Lebeau (Gambit) - Xmen, Marvel Comics

Marvel looked at their collection of motley mutant misfits. And realised they had a morally dubious, disaster bi shaped hole to fill... And there Remy Lebeau has been for for 30 slutty, slutty years and counting. Sex in fushia pink spandex. Single handily keeping thievery in Americas top 50 kinks. Slowly exhausting the world's supply of playing cards... Must be considered a traitor to the cause atleast once a decade to keep his street cred. Must be considered a secret Summers brother atleast once a decade to keep his ego in check.

8. Jonathan Crane (Scarecrow) - Batman (DC)

Scythe wielding, reigning and defending Trick or treat world champion since 1941. The physical attributes of a Giacometti sculpture with the rustic aesthetic of the folk horror genre. Grumpy old man syndrome dialed up to eleven. Pets: Craw the crow, Nightmare the raven... Edward Nygma. Built a life manifesto based on a gothic novel... Oh captain, my captain.

9. Alfie Solomons - Peaky Blinders

All hail the great arisen god of Margate. Who looked upon Tommy Shelby and called him smol. Weilds tomfuckery like a pepper spray straight up the jacksie. Views betrayal as a bonding exercise. Somewhere in his words are the the meaning of life. Still awaiting the lab results as to whether this man is the anthropomorphic personification of chaotic neutral. Not even part of the egg and spoon race. Will still manage to win with a watermelon and a novelty spork.

10. Elias Bouchard - The Magnus Archives

(art by @felix-krain and @caligosatchel)

Cluedo character brought to life by malevolent eldritch entity for sexy end of the world shinnanigans. I suspect either Proffesor Plum or Reverend Green, professional opinions vary. Maintains the inability to move more than one square at a time when enacting nefarious schemes. Still has a preference for homicide by kitchenware. Comes with all the British, arch dilf energy of an Agatha Cristie villain. Taking the horrors from the hands of privileged elite and unleashing them on unsuspecting white collar workers. Eye, chin and tits first.

Whelp, that's my ten fictional characters/fandoms. Men folk (and Desire) addition. When I say I like them on the morally grey dulux colour chart. I'm not exaggerating. 😅

I'm tagging, at your pleasure @mashumaru @aisalynn @bobbole @tickldpnk8 @writing-for-life @marvagon @missingrache @rriavian @jazzy-a and @ibrithir-was-here

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bread-knife · 3 months

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Loved the explanation on my genshin post💗💗 BUT JUST TO PUT IT OUT THERE.

This was my reaction to every single explanation:

-Noora

thats how i feel and im in the fucking thick of it 😭😭😭😭 what do you MEAN diluc (some redhead rich twink with a bigass sword basically) went to genshin impact russia and went genociding and maybe joined a cult because the fatui (genshin impact russia's government/military/basically everything) killed his dad (dottore indirectly killed the guy too L. dottore is the cause of probably like 90% of the problems in recent in-universe history by the way). what the FUCK is going on with khaenri'ah. in the sumeru arc they bring up the casual existence of Information That Makes You Instantly Go Insane (feat. TWO spectacular relevant cutscenes) that not only makes you go insane (what the fuck) but ALSO causes basically cancer in the entire world lol AND causes eleazar ("FUCK your nervous system + cope + ratio + gradually get scaly + eventually die idiot" chronic disabling illnesss) what the hell is in that stuff. they first call it Divine Knowledge as a marketing thing in-universe bc of course you'd want to know what the gods know. It's not like there are an insane number of stories telling you precisely why you shouldn't go for that kind of stuff. & then it's called Forbidden Knowledge because this is NONE of the divinities' business. and then they just havent talked about it again since, like, aranyaka (10+ hour long questline deadass) and such.

tl;dr, daddy issues, one of the playables is maybe a straight-up cult member, dottore sucks and is evil, and khaenri'ah got hiroshima'd AND nagasaki'd AND horrifically cursed ON TOP OF THAT, including completely innocent normal people who never did anything wrong & the nation's children. there is information that makes you go insane if you learn it, which causes eleazar & basically cancer to the world itself. & aranyaka (OVER 10 HOUR LONG QUESTLINE!!!!) exists. i did aranyaka in one sitting :3

LONGER and more specific form of the post:

diluc ragnvindr, some redhead noble twink, gets horrifically traumatized on his, like, 18th birthday because his dad is mortally injured protecting him & their entourage from a monster known as "Ursa the Drake" that was summoned by the fatui putting a literal bug on their wagon that lets out a special frequency. his dad either dies in front of him OR he's forced to mercy kill his own father, leaving him an orphan. there was also the attempted murder thing with Kaeya, his adoptive brother and also basically the only person in Mondstadt who isn't hex code #FFFFFF

building off of diluc's problems, Kaeya Alberich is a pureblooded Khaenri'ahn (identifiable by special pupils) who was NOT hit with the racism curse so he's fine i think. his bio dad left him in mondstadt for diluc's dad (important nobleman) to run into and hopefully adopt in order for the SMALL CHILD to act as a SPY for a TORMENTED AND NEAR-DEAD NATION. after diluc's dad died in front of him kaeya swung by and discovered the scene & was like ohhh shit. and then he was like "i need to tell diluc that i was planted here as a spy Right Now". so diluc, understandably betrayed & angry, tried to kill him & then fucked off to snezhnaya (genshin russia; this took me a while to learn to spell right consistently) to go kill Fatui for like 2 years i think. and join a cult maybe i guess

Khaenri'ah's purebloods were cursed into horrible immortality that causes them immense suffering forever & ever, & the non purebloods were transformed into monsters, including hilichurls, the setting's stock mob goblins/orcs/whatever. Caribert is an especially horrendous example; his dad, Chlothar Alberich, was a pureblood, while Caribert wasn't (mom is long-dead at this point). so Chlothar has been a single father to his son, who has been turned into some horrific Thing with an intellect barely above that of an animal. Chlothar has ALSO been DESPERATELY SEEKING A CURE FOR HUNDREDS OF YEARS. he is DESPERATE ENOUGH TO PRAY TO THE ARCHONS THAT SLAUGHTERED HIS PEOPLE. this guy is Kaeya's ancestor, and also the founder of the Abyss Order (khaenri'ahns transformed into monsters now seeking revenge on Teyvat).

Also, there was this kid who literally fell into The Abyss, basically Genshin Impact Hell sort of, when he was 14. He eventually escaped, but his family soon discovered that their beloved son was suddenly... different. Tartaglia (his title as a Harbinger of the Fatui), to date, is the ONLY playable character in Genshin Impact with NO light in his eyes.

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lonespektr · 6 months

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OCTOBER 15TH AND 16TH HORROR WATCH

Swallowed (2022) & Black Mirror

Two besties

One is living town to become a porn star (ben)

Last hurrah at the crap small town dive bar that had a queer night

Bestie driving him home last stop

Sister didi is very high and her contact makes a drop his problem more or less sister kinda lied about the situation

The connect alice says they got to swallow the product

They say no

Connect insists via gun

It legit doesn't look like drugs it looks like gnnochi

Dom starts swallowing all the stuff

Didi is throwing up in the garage

Dom left to help

And connect made him swallow the rest

Temperature control! She emphasizes

Very low self esteem soon to be porn star who's getting all expenses paid by somebody is taken aback by a Love confession (platonic)

Only reason we haven't fucked is because i love you too much (dom)

Also you're straight

To which Dom responds eh fuck that

Ben oblivious to the world says you should come with me to LA

Rest stop

Very stereotypical redneck doesn't like that they are talking to each other through the stall and also that they are not heterosexual

Stupid 1 (ben) won't just lock himself inside a stall while the bigot yells

Stupid no 2 (dom) decides hes gonna machismo white knight and surprise gets socked in the stomach

Dumbass ben says in LA there won't be bigots

Yea no way this twink survives a day without his lil friend

And of course the thingys he swallowed are not Happy being punched

Dick out! Lovecraftian creatures unknown out( of his butt)

Think they just left the creatures on the bathroom floor

Ironically the non porn star is the ones who's dick we are seeing

Connect meets them at the rest stop and kinda helps?

Explains they are bugs that can get you high

Doms legs aren't working

And he is high and bricked up (we all noticed)

Ahem

They drive to the connect s lil hideaway instead of the hospital

To get the bugs

There is a prolonged porky pig situation

Reiterating this is kinda Bens fault because he is likely getting himself into trouble moving to LA on sketchy porn employment position that's"all expense paid"

And dom white knighting wanted to set him up with some cash on arrival he keeps telling ben the porn job paying for everything is to good to be true

This is an extremely fancy log cabin drug hideout

Um didn't she say that outhouse WASN'T for you buddy

Bossman coming equals expedited times table equals fisting although i think biologically they might still be in his intestines and a stomach message probably more helpful but certainly less gay tension between our besties soo 🤷🏿‍♀️

Also did i miss the part where they took any laxatives because it seems like they didn't

Fisting with no prep is nuts

You gay and you don't have actual lube?

Tense fisting screaming dom being held ay gunpoint with hand up his ass pobreceito

Bossman here

Bit?

Dumbass fighting for his life his friends fist up his ass and he's still mouthing off about the money

Escalated gun threats with a side of gun fellatio

Useless ben too much whimpering not enough fisting

Bossman dismisses connect and as always we see the mid level person was actually doing their best to make sure the lower end randos don't have to even see the boss cause they will kill anybody or do anything

I know they are gonna do it but it's very wack the only brown guy is kickin the bucket

We know he was going to do the sleeping beauty thing but they shoulda had dom friend zone it again

It's deeply unsatisfying for the audience to have someone dying the whole time then they just die it's like a mystery but you never get any answers it's very futile and it never like.. Grows the character, it's just trauma

Oddly enough the bossman comes in justifying why he shot the connect (they eent outside to have him chill off she was trying to get him to a hospital)as if he has to

Already grooming cause he just killed dom

So he needs a new dad

Still haven't addressed that ben has one in him still

Now that two murders are over with bossman gas escalated to sex crimes

Ben is order to strip and bathe

(Dick count is now two)

Which was well my first guess for how to get those buggies out laxatives and bath

One of the abusers where they just do stuff and then say the exact opposite as if that makes it true

Peak white behavior because there's no soap and not even the bath salts promised and he was digging foreign (alien?) Bugs out of a bootyhole but no soap

I just realized they gotta do these scenes in one take because the hair has to be dry

Hes chatting him up in the tub about gay glory days and baby gays who don't know who barbera Streisand is

Literally looks dirty post bath because no soap

I hope the connect would jump in for a final wounded play

Tense game of firt/run/assertive/

Boss mag took bens clothes but gave him his shoes so 🤷🏿‍♀️

Bossmang has graciously offered to give ben 15g

Ben found his moment and scalpel him in the neck

Now he's running

Left dom body, haven't cut to him since

Wup stick shift??

Didn't cut deep enough

Ben is peak useless gay

Didn't snag the keys running off into unfortunately Forrest which is the bossmangs territory 🥴🥴

And yea the thing is still in you

Bolted now it's out

Can't back with the bug bit bossmang and collected dom

And put bodsmang in the outhouse

Black mirror 6x1 - joan is awful

Fancy tech job

Great husband

Texting ex

Oof addicted to chaos

Netflix is streamberry

Lol

Selma hayak is on tv bring her exactly

Like data mining you for a tv show??

Lol everybody is watching it??

The other Netflix shows have title cards with fake names

Mam turn that shit off immediately

Also everyone elses life as well

How do you forget you cheated an hour and a half ago?

There's no way you won't forget that

The episodes literally right up to them watching Netflix

Bizarre real time truman show

She gets up at 7 because she's a tech person who can come into the office at 10?

😫😩

Lol everybody saw it

You let slip

Lol why the fuck would you say that how is it her fault

How is that not the first thing you do sis

I guess just loose commentary on cancel culture and social media being a permeant place where your mistakes are permanent

And terms in conditions in software contracts and of course AI

Water tight,

Not air tight

Lol mam literally cancel your service and ditch your phone mama

Wunmi 💛💛

So many guest stars

And commentary on like reality tv and then not having real tv content

Why would Netflix admit all this on camera

Bold move interesting move she did something crazy

That the actress didn't like so she went to get lawyer

Who obviously said the same thing

So far the message is tech owns your ass

They are teaming up 😂😂

She pulled a Beyonce

Your selma hayak

Thank you

Not a the bride costume

The break into streamberry to break the AI machine

Also articulated how algorithms specifically feed negative content because it drives engagement

You know this would be good as a short story

It's a great concept but it comes off as.. academic because everything is spelled out

You're not the real Joan

Fictive level one

Lol they have just been told they aren't real they are AI

Quantum computer is basically magic

Lol we're in reality reality now?

#graywatchhorror23 #swallowed #black mirror #joan is awful

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gaberuga · 3 years

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HA SOO have more yi city angst, spent a whole ass 5 days in pain because of this so I hope you suffer with me too.

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youryanderedaddy · 3 years

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I had a dream just now that might make a good story. So, I had a virus on my laptop which allowed a hacker to see everything I did on my computer and use my webcam. The hacker ends up falling in love with me after stalking me for a few months and pays for someone on the dark web to kidnap me. It works, and then I wake up tied up in the hacker's arm as he caresses and kisses me. That's pretty much it, good night! 🌙

Yo this is my kink 😳

Also I couldn't not write this for Saeran, ok.

Title: Stranger danger

Tw: nsfw - ish, female reader, masturbation, cyber stalking, hacking, mentions of dark web, very irresponsible online behavior, obsessive behavior, implied kidnapping

You knew that this was a stupid idea. Lurking on the dark web with almost no protection other than the Tor browser and some free anti-virus program wasn't your best decision, but fuck it if it wasn't entertaining. You had always been drawn to the darker, scarier part of the human mind and this side of the internet proved quite interesting. Your friends always warned you about the dangers that came with looking up shady online searches and sites but everything had been quite peaceful so far. There weren't hackers or murderers on the dark web, the worst you had seen were people selling drugs and weapons for unreasonable prices, along with some questionable fetish porn and the typical popping ads.

Your favorite thing to do while online was chatting. Two weeks ago you had stumbled upon an unusual forum called "Scream buddies" where upon entering you were automatically connected to another random profile. The whole theme of the forum was discussing horror and mondo movies, shockumentaries and overall creepy stuff, your forte. The person you met on there shared a similar fascination with all things dark and gory which soon made talking to them the only thing you were looking forward upon opening the site.

You didn't know much about the guy behind the profile yet, except that he was a young man. His icon showed an eye so green it emited with the neon pigment and his username was just as mysterious - BlueRose7. You enjoyed chatting with him about your hobby but the thing you liked the most was undressing him little by little, metaphorically so, by getting pieces of information about his life. It started small - his favorite food, favorite book, favorite game, but the moment you tried digging deeper and asked whether he had siblings or not, the man simply disappeared for the next few days. You quickly realized just what type of topics you needed to avoid to keep your new friend from leaving. Family, childhood memories and work matters were out of the picture.

The stranger wasn't fair, not really. He didn't show you vulnerability and kept his secrecy while demanding to know everything there was to know about you. For the longest time you didn't want to answer just to stay on a equal footing, just to show him how frustrating it was, but there was something about the man that drew you in. He was magnetic, clever and witty, if a bit pessimistic and dark at times. You couldn't help telling him everything he wanted to hear - what your job was, whether you were single or not, all that jazz. In your defense, BlueRose7 actually listened to your stories, took your problems seriously and provided solutions, which despite being too extreme and overprotective at times (upon hearing that your bestfriend talked behind your back he offered to "take care" of her), were comforting. It was nice to have someone caring around even if you met him on a sketchy website.

Meanwhile your personal life wasn't going too great. You had to balance between attending college, working long shifts as a waitress and meeting your friends from time to time which was draining. On top of all there was a weird virus on your computer which resulted in the camera turning on and off and the most random times of the day - while you were studying, watching TV, or in some cases, fully naked and ready to take a bath. You didn't think much of it though, with all the illegal movies and games you downloaded along with the dark web lurking it was more than expected for your laptop to behave weirdly. You didn't even mention it to your friend from the IT major because you knew that he'd force you to delete Tor and put an end to your internet adventures.

One time you were particularly bored after several long lectures and you were laying in bed, the camera turned on once again. It was a hot afternoon and you were wearing boyshorts and a loose T- shirt with nothing underneath it, you were home alone so there was no need. The bright red spot was twinking like a recorder, the light reflecting in your eyes, when a silly little idea came to your mind. You slid your hand under your blouse and lifted the fabric up, exposing your breasts to the laptop, your nipples hardening due to the sudden coldness, becoming pink and stiff in seconds. You played with for a few minutes, pinching and pulling the buds gently, moaning softly into the pleasant sensation. Soon you could feel yourself getting wet, and slowly, teasingly, removed your shorts and panties. You smiled at the camera, biting your lip provocatively, imagining you were a camgirl performing for her desperate little fanboys and fangirls. The thought alone was enough to make you spread your legs wide and slip two fingers into your throbbing cunt, using the wetness to push deeper. You used your other hand to stroke your clit and whimpered wantonly, your face red, your neck sweaty and your heart pumping fast from the adrenaline. You were quickly reaching your orgasm and your mind wondered to the boy you were talking to in the forum. You wondered how he looked like, how his body was built, whether he was a sweet sensual lover or a rough mean one. Fucked up as it was, you pictured the man as one of your most loyal viewers, watching all of your streams with a fist around his thick vock and an excited grin on his face. He would comment things like "you look so beautiful like this" or perhaps even "pretty little slut" after tipping you enough to last you a week. Soon all the mental stimulation sent you over the edge and you came with a loud cry full of pleasure. Well, this felt good.

After your "performance" was over the camera was magically turned off, which may have caused some concerns if you weren't too busy feeling embarrassed and dirty about the unhinged fantasy you had just had, and with a person you knew nothing about. You managed to calm down though - it wasn't nothing more than a fun pastime, a naughty thought that would never become the reality. You would never actually meet BlueRose7, right? There was nothing to worry about, so you just went on with your day.

You had some dinner afterwards and decided to have an early night as you already felt full and tired. You put on your favoruite pajamas and laid in bed, staring at the ceiling until you fell into deep dreamless sleep.

You woke up due to a weird noise. You could hear someone's heavy breathing right next to your ear, someone's grabby hands were wrapped tightly against your body, trapping you between the wall and their hard chest. You had only a few seconds to scream before the intruder's palm covered your mouth.

"Shhh." The man whispered softly and stroked your hair like you were a doll he was playing with. "Don't scream or I'll be forced to hurt you, flower. I have a gun." His voice sounded deep and rough but this didn't stop you from thrashing and turning on your side until you came face to face with the man. It was dark in the room and you couldn't exactly see all his features but his enchanting green eyes would forever be burned into your memory - they seemed dashing, hypnotizing. You couldn't utter a word.

"It's me, the person you've been talking to all these months. I came to take you home" He spoke out suddenly, the line of his mouth twisting into a smile or a smirk, you couldn't quite tell. You shook your head no, tears threatening to spill all over your cheeks from the fear. It couldn't be him, the man would never do that to you. Or would he? With what little information you knew, you couldn't really tell. His hold finally loosen, seeing you quiet like that.

"Let me go, please." You begged, pushing at his shoulders weakly since you were still sleepy, groggy and tired. "I don't know you." You said, hoping this would remind the stranger you weren't friends, lovers or anything that gave him the right to be so close to you, to touch you so intimately. Unfortunately, this only seemed to amuse him and he chucked darkly as he pulled your hair away to place a small chaste kiss on your neck.

"But I know you, flower." Your supposed online friend replied shortly after, his eyes full of malice. "And your little show today makes me think you want to know me too." He added in a low tone, licking his lips before smashing them on yours, forcing his tongue deep into your mouth just to hear your whines and protests. Then it hit you. The camera, the virus, the questions. He had watched you, he knew where you worked, where you lived and studied, everything. You had told him after all.

The hacker thought you looked so adorable right now, figuring things out, helpless, confused, regretful and most of all, weak. You were so weak and careless, and he loved you for it. It reminded him of himself before life screwed him over.

You wouldn't be in this position, underneath him, if you had just told someone about your laptop virus and the bad guy you had encountered online. But Saeran couldn't say he wasn't glad your self-preservation instincts were so very broken and dysfunctional. He wouldn't meet you otherwise. "I need you, princess. That's why I'll take you to Paradise." These were the final words you heard before you felt lightheaded and sleepy again, your last memory a pair of green mint eyes.

You really shouldn't have trusted strangers on the internet.

#yandere #male yandere #yandere mystic messenger #yandere saeran #yandere oneshot #yandere saeran choi #yandere unkown #yancore #male yandere x reader #yandere oc #yandere male x reader #yandere oc x reader #yandere smut #yandere x you #yandere hacker

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ginazmemeoir · 3 years

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Mmkay so this is just a fic idea that was swirling in my head, based off the tale of Kacha and Devayani. hope you like it :D

tagging some : @gopikanyari @momo-all-the-way @carmen-riddle @taareginn @reddish-green-personality

@holding-infinity-and-a-book @aadyeah @weird-u @the-fault-in-our-inquilab @dragonfairy1231 @allegoriesinmediasres @mango-pickle

The afternoon sun poured through the trees. A breeze flowed through the forest, picking up pace and then lazing back, like a cat trying to chase bees. Kacha, Sharmishtha, Prabha and I had gathered near a brook. It was our favourite spot in Vrishaparva. There were no prying eyes, and devas did not interfere in asura territory so we were safe from them as well. Everything seemed a bit too bright and colourful whenever Kacha was around. He chalked it up to the fact that his mother was a yaksha, so he had a connection with the forests. I sighed as I admired him – his flowing shoulder length locks, his wide nose and high cheekbones, his smile, the way he talked with the cows, his biceps as he whirled around his lathi. “Quit ogling him and just go up to him already or you’re gonna end up alone in a pit” said Sharmishtha, elbowing me. “I don’t even know what you see in him. I hear the other asuras call him a ‘deva bastard’ and a ‘twink’.” “That’s because they’re jealous of him. No asura could match the way he looks, or the way he behaves” I reply, cutting off Prabha’s useless critiques.

The wind picks up pace once again, and Sharmishtha gets up chasing her dupatta. A blue lotus flutters and drops near my feet, and I pick it up. It shimmers as if dusted with moonshine, and its scent made the fullest of roses in bloom in spring smell like stale bread. Prabha put it along with the other flowers in my gajra, and said “Even Lakshmi wouldn’t look half as beautiful as you when she sees you like this” she laughs merrily. I push at her playfully, and that is when Kacha arrives there. He was mostly silent, listening, observing, so it made me feel as if the lotus was a drug when he said, “Devayani, can I have that lotus?”

I hastily pluck it from my hair and give it to him. Sharmishtha returned by then, leaves in her hair, and her torn dupatta in her hand. “It was stuck in a branch and I had to climb 6 feet to retrieve it.” Kacha was oblivious to her rant, and he kept looking at the flower, as if studying a complex problem. “Do you like it Devayani?” he asks. I stare at him, slack jawed, dumbfounded to reply for a minute. “Yes she does. Now Kacha why don’t you get her those flowers?” “After all aren’t you the one who brings flowers for her priceless gajras?” say Prabha and Sharmishtha in order, teasing Kacha. A blush creeps up his cheeks, as he replies, “Lady Devyani is my guru’s daughter, it is my duty to serve her.” What I wouldn’t give to hear those words, but spoken with love instead of reverence. “They grow near the river’s source, in a lake nearby. That is the only place you can find these blue lotuses.” Sharmishtha says. Determination fills Kacha’s eyes. Sometimes I do wonder if he lies about his half yaksha parentage, for there is certainly something… different about his eyes. “I will return by dusk with your cattle Lady Devyani.” He assures me, and leaves for the lotuses, getting his lathi for the trek up ahead. I don’t believe his promise at all. Twice he’s promised me before, and twice before have the other jealous asuras murdered him, and twice before has father resurrected him through the mrita-sanjeevani on my plea. I look behind him, hopeful for the love budding in his heart, and dreading for his safety.

Dusk creeps its way into the ashram. I stand at the gate, looking anxiously for any sign of Kacha, when the asuras, led by Atibala, arrive at the gates. They were clearly coming after making merry, and I could smell the scent of honey wine on them. “Guru Shukracharya, please come accept our obeisance” says an asura, slurring his words and giggling half way through. Father arrives, in his flowing white dhoti and beard, annoyed at the disturbance in his prayers to Shambhu. “Who is it at this late – oh Atibala! Come, it is always great to see an old student!” says father, as he invited Atibala and his companions. Maybe he wouldn’t greet them the same way if he knew they were the ones who had murdered his favourite disciple in cold blood twice. Or maybe he did know, but chose to ignore it. Atibala brings a pitcher and a goblet towards father and offers him wine. Father took the goblet and greedily inhaled the scent, swirling the vessel. An enthusiastic wine connoisseur, father downed the goblet in one gulp, remarking afterwards that it tasted different. Atibala attributed it to fanciful terms like the right serving temperature, touched father’s feet and left. Father soon after retired to his chambers, leaving me alone.

The sky is now dotted by stars, illuminated by the first rays of moonlight, and I start panicking. There is still no sign of Kacha. I rush towards father’s chambers and wake him up. “Father, Kacha hasn’t returned yet. Please do something!” I cry. Father immediately gets up, all hints of the sluggishness from the wine gone. He instructs me to light a lamp, and to wait outside. After what feels like eternity, but would have been a blink of an eye for him, he calls me in. His expression is gaunt, and his hands are trembling. “What happened father?” I ask, warily. “Kacha is no more.” he says, as if tired. “What?” I reply, shocked. “I SAID HE IS DEAD. HE WAS CUT DOWN BY ATIBALA AND HIS PARTY, AND THEN THE SON OF A BITCH BURNT HIM.” “Father, you are the only person in this universe who can revive the dead. Twice you have revived him at my behest, I vow father this is the last time I ask of you, please bring Kacha back.” I plead again, trying to calm father’s rage. He goes into a meditative trance again, but returns back quickly, this time even more shocked than last time. “Kacha is in me.” I am too stunned to even comprehend what he means. “Atibala mixed his ashes in my wine.” Father says, disgusted and horrified at himself, his students, and fate’s cruel turn.

Dread floods me. I cannot choose the man I love, about whose love I’m not even sure, over my father. Father, as if sensing my thoughts, says in a resigned tone, “Devyani, I can only resurrect Kacha on one condition. I will have to teach him the mrita-sanjeevani, which Kacha will then use to resurrect me back once he comes out of my body.” Father sounds like a defeated man. Obviously, such a heinous act by ones students was bound to leave a teacher like this. I kneel beside father’s bed, holding his hand, calming and healing him through my powers, as he starts chanting the mantra. Slowly, a faint light starts emitting from him. Kacha then emerges, making a sickening sound as he tore through father’s abdomen. Immediately he kneels down beside father, laying his hand on his chest, and utters the mantra. Father’s stomach seals up, and his breath returns to him as he opens his eyes. He still has that odd look of resignation on his face, and looks at me with – pity?

Today has been a lesson to me, a lesson that matters of the heart while shouldn’t be rushed, should certainly not be stayed, lest the heart’s wish never take wings. I can’t even bear the thought of losing Kacha again, not without telling him how I felt about him. “Kacha,” I start, as I move towards him “, I am in love with you. I love you like the dawn loves the sun, like the river loves the sea, like the clouds love-“ “Stop Devyani.” Kacha says, interrupting me midway. I fear what’s going to happen. Is he offended? Or does he not love me? “Devyani, I must return back.” Kacha says. “Where?” I ask him. Kacha had showed up on our door once, and each time I asked about his origin or parentage, he shied away. “Back to Amravati.” he replies. The deva capital? I look at father, who has instead chosen to look at the floor. I look back at Kacha.

I now realize the heartbreak that poets so fondly mention, as if stating the weather. How idiotic they are. Heartbreak wasn’t beautiful. It wasn’t even painful. It was draining. Everything I thought I knew was a lie. The man I had fallen for saw me as nothing more than a tool. All those times I caught him looking at me, or when he caught I, was a performance. His demeanour? What about his silent laugh? Was the way he blushed earlier today also a performance, part of an elaborate use to manipulate me? A thousand questions flood me, but only one sentence makes it out of my mouth – “You lied to me. You-you used me?” Tears blur my vision as I take a step back. “You are just a deva spy, and you used me.” Kacha stays silent, his shoulders hunched and head bent. “And you knew – you knew and you kept this a secret from me!” I whirl at father. He looks at me with tear stained eyes. “Devayani I-“ “Don’t you dare even take my name out of your filthy impure tongue!” I shout as I turn back to Kacha. He flinches at my tone, and I see the glistening tears on his face as well.

“You knew how I felt about you. You knew I loved you, and you knew I would get father to resurrect you each time you died. Had you told me your truth, I would’ve kept my distance, I would’ve stayed out of your way, I would’ve respected you for fighting for your faction, and yet. Yet you chose to manipulate me and my love, you conniving betraying lying cheating deva bastard!” Kacha looks taken aback at my words. I can feel my features contorting from my rage and pain. I can feel the hurt I’m causing, the way my tongue bleeds Kacha’s heart like he bled mine. I muster all my powers, and then I utter words that would cause Kacha the most suffering – “Kacha. You have seen my love so far, but now you will see the power of my hatred and my wrath. Kacha, I curse you to never be able to use the mrit-sanjeevani. I curse you to forget the knowledge to use the same mantra for which you have died and returned to the world thrice. Let the devas know that their spy failed.”

Kacha’s expression turns to stone. He bows to my father and touches his feet, and my father, the chivalrous, honourable man he is, blessed the man who almost killed him and broke his only child’s heart with a curt “May you emerge victorious in all future missions.”. Kacha then flies out of my house, and a blue lotus, with petals that shone like moonshine and fragrance that made the fullest of roses blooming in spring smell like stale bread, falls at my feet.

#kacha #devayani #devyani #kacha and devayani #kacha and devyani #hindu mythology #mythology #story time #vasu

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another-au-in-time · 3 years

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HI everybody apologies again for inactivity but I saw a post today that kinda made me Hmmmm

Some people in the fandom are frustrated with Snatcher's overwhelming popularity and characterization as The Dadtcher, yet again, citing his voice lines and all the times he's tried to kill Hat Kid in canon

Listen y'all

Is Snatcher a good person? No! Of course not! He's a villain! He eats people's souls! He has outright admitted to murder! The ENTIRETY of the Death Wishes part of Seal the Deal was Snatcher trying to kill Hat Kid!

However

You can acknowledge how evil and terrible a character is without condoning their actions. I feel like a LOT of people, in a LOT of fandoms, don't think about this at all

Snatcher is a villain. A tragic villain, but a villain. He isn't without his sins. His actions and canon characterization should absolutely be acknowledged. He doesn't deserve a shred of pity if we're being completely honest. He doesn't deserve a redemption arc. But fandoms will do what they do. They'll give him a redemption arc, they'll make AU's, they'll change his character into whatever they want because it's fun. They're having harmless fun. Stop being upset at others for having fun just because you don't like the same character

I am SO tired of seeing everybody argue over Snatcher being popular and being the fandom favorite and being fluffed up as some uwu soft sad twink whose story is one big sappy travesty. I understand it's frustrating seeing so much content for a character you dislike. But repeatedly complaining about it will not change anything. Making people feel guilty for liking a villain character will not change anything

Personally, Snatcher is my favorite because he's purple (my favorite color) and has a silly jack-o'-lantern face. I like his design, I like his story, I like his character. It appeals to me. Does that make me a bad person for it? Or ignorant to what he's done in canon? No! And I will not feel guilty about it either just because some people disagree

I like the Dadtcher trope because it's fun and I like the family dynamic. Realistically, would Snatcher ever adopt Hat Kid? Of course not! But that isn't going to stop me from liking the idea because I enjoy it. It makes ME happy

The discourse in this fandom is ridiculous. Unless someone is a pedophile or causing real, serious, harmful problems. Now I'm sorry there's not as much content of the other characters as a lot of people would like, as a content creator in the AHiT fandom I could contribute a little more. But I'm also not obligated to. Nobody is

Y'all need to get over the dumb Snatcher issue and make the content for the characters you want to see more of. Pretty sure I've said this before on an earlier post. I do it myself in other fandoms for stuff I want to see, you might have to too. Stop being so cranky and go have fun gosh darn it

Life is too short to be mad about a stupid purple ghost you guys

#leaving this up for historical purposes but im removing the main tags

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theropoda · 3 years

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usually when i post something here related to yakuza its with the intention of sharing it with others and wanting to know what other ppl think of it but this time i simply just want to have a record of my thoughts written down that i can see later lol

anyways. babaposting (spoilers for yakuza 5)

gonna be honest and say that to people who are Normal this is going to seem a lot like me rambling about something that is obvious; but i guess this is a post made out of spite in response to how i sometimes see people boil down baba's character into softboy twink bottom which bothers me way, WAY more than it should. admittedly, he is not as developed as the main 5 characters of the game and his role is more of a side character? but i still think there's more to him to than that, regardless.

i dont think baba is as big as a softboy twink as some people percieve him as. imo he's more the kind of guy who's actually more cold blooded and ruthless than you'd think, who hides this under a timid and meek demeanor. while it's never said outright, (or at least i dont remember if its said so, oops) im pretty sure he is an assassin-- or at least, experienced enough with taking people out from afar that the kuroha family would trust him with such an important target like haruka. my point is, this dude literally kills ppl. so it bothers me a lot when people straight up infantilize him :/

he does definitely have his weaknesses though, i dont wanna deny the fact that when it comes to some things he is Weak but ill get to that a little later.

during the prison segment of saejima's part in yakuza 5, other characters (including saejima) describe baba as shy, friendly and timid and he definitely lives up to those descriptions in his behavior too. he really does seem like a little ooh-woo boy. oshima even says baba cried to him once:

so he sure gives off the appearance of someone who is quite innocent and emotional. but, fast forward to the Twist, and baba says this irt everything he has said about himself in abashiri:

yeah. of course this immediately tells us his backstory is a lie but this dialogue also makes me think that the timid behavior he displayed in his time in abashiri is a part of this lie. baba appearing as friendly and harmless not only gets him closer to saejima but also makes him less likely to be suspected of being involved in a big conspiracy or plot. he is purposely acting all 🥺👉👈, and it bothers me when people see this as a genuine expression of who he is. i, honestly, don't think it is.

i am not denying the fact that he has a heart though. because what IS real, however, is of course the feelings he has developed for saejima. the conflict between his orders and his heart is literally a vital point of both his character and the bigger story, so of course he has a heart. and a weak one: he's so emotionally distraught that he tries to kill himself not once but twice! once because he'd rather die than kill saejima and again because he's so guilty of being complicit in kurosawa's plan to fuck over the tojo clan, that he'd rather die than bear to confront saejima after all he's done. he honestly, in my eyes is a bit of a coward for trying to run away from these problems via suicide but maybe i'm being too harsh because what the fuck would i do in that situation? lol

but i guess what im trying to do here is explain why it bothers me when people go ahh baba sweet baby boy bc it feels like such a mischaracterization. he is certainly emotionally....frail/weak but not as much of a baby as some people make him out to be. he's a grown man who's literally an assassin by trade. he breaks down and cries in the moments he does cause i think anyone else would too.

his vulnerable moments are what i really love about him, it's just that sometimes people go overboard on woobifying him and make that his entire character. so i just like to keep a balanced mix of "grown ass man who is much more capable of things like murder than you thought" AND "genuinely heartbroken and panicked over the clashing of the orders he's given and the feelings he has developed". we can have both, folks! the same way light can't shine without dark, baba's vulnerability cannot be interesting without his more colder more cunning side.

baba is at his most interesting when he shows vulnerability despite his orders and job demanding otherwise.

i also think hes a little whore, he could have kept his jacket on during his reveal to saejima but he takes it off, which accomplishes literally nothing. in fact this would just impact him negatively by making him cold as all hell. so there is only one reason why he would reveal 2 the world his tiny waist and its cause hes a slut

#i wrote most of this at 12 am sorry if its unintelligible #talking #y5 #of sorts #yakuza #tl;dr stop calling him a baby. ur annoying #yakuza meta

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technologicallyme · 3 years

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@mousiec thank you for enabling my rambling so I apologize for the large amount of text under the cut

Anyways, the story is pretty simple and I this is what I have so far (and is going to change in the future)

fnf illusionary au is basically problems are caused on accidental purpose. boyfriend, girlfriend, pico, and to the surprise of all three senpai is there as well. Well speaking of the boyfriend and the problem causer (who may or may not be a secret oc)

well both get taken over by what is called the illusion's harmony, or illusionary.

Bad things and shenanigans ensue.

Illusionary isn't the only danger in the world the four heroes get trapped in. There's someone who calls herself Kohai and she really wants Senpai... but instead of wanting his love, she wants him to be not alive how fun (her name is Aika and she's kinda aggressive)

There's also some weird creature that is stalking Pico but that is not important and also not that bad (pico is armed after all lmao he can handle himself)

When Girlfriend, Pico, and Mr. I-Totally-Want-To-Be-Here-With-You aka Senpai finally find Boyfriend again, he's been taken over by Illusionary almost completely along with the character that caused this mess.

Pico being Pico, he decides that a rap battle might knock some sense into BF (also because harming him is frowned upon and GF lowkey frightens him)

It doesn't work, in fact Pico gets hit with some of that high quality possession but manages to slip away, but not without the oc following him and giving the trio the biggest hint on how to defeat this thing that, for lack of better wording, bullied them.

Shenanigans ensue once more, and now we have Blacklight Pico, Neon Girlfriend, and what is currently known as Party Senpai (name possibly temporary until i find something better)

They team up to sing a quartet (actually only a trio f in chat for the oc) and start out taking turns against bf and illusionary, and it works to at least weaken the hold on bf.

The trio then are able to get themselves together enough to make their own harmony that ends up much stronger than Illusionary's (which makes sense because you can't just make harmony through brute force and manipulation or it sounds better when it isn't)

They win, escape the world with Senpai being dragged along as a reward for helping and not attempting murder, he lives with Pico because GF and BF don't want that rancid twink around ruining their vibe back home (Pico drew the short straw so he has to)

and that's illusionary au :D

#friday night funkin #fnf #fnf au #friday night funkin au #fnf illusionary au #fnf pico #fnf boyfriend #fnf oc #fnf senpai #fnf girlfriend #this all started out of a desire to see pico and gf sing together against bf for fun #i should clarify i dont consider senpai to be the same as the red smudge demon and theyre different entities in this au #i saw your tags asking to know more and i rushed to write down everything #senpai still needs a illusionary form and im only using party senpai bc idk what else to use 😔

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ahwait-no-yes · 3 years

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🍬 Candy Kingdom 🍭

Casually slides and places chapter down before running away only to trip on a can of soup and collapse as miku plays ominously in the background

also apologies for how ooc they are i can’t write

-4-

Once Shuichi arrived at the plaza, he scanned the crowded area for Ouma. He never really liked places with people bustling about. It was always too loud, too many things to focus on, and just made him want to cover his ears and sit down for a bit.

Thankfully, he spotted Ouma sitting on a bench, looking a bit bored. He assumed that wasn’t a good thing. He hasn’t known Kokichi for very long, but he seemed like a person that would be up to no good if they had nothing better to do.

Shuichi walked over to him, gently tapping his shoulder. Kokichi looked over at him quickly, he wondered if he would get whiplash. “Heya Saihara chan! Took you long enough, I was waiting here for years!” Ouma dramatically complained, drawing others attention to them.

Saihara nervously laughed, assuming part of it was true. He did sleep in a bit, not having to deal with someone waking him up and tell him he has things he needs to do. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to take so long.”

Ouma waved his hand, dismissing the topic. “Uh huh. So, Saihara chan!” He chirped, suddenly standing up. “I have a super fun and amazing cool idea! So we should toootally do it!” He exclaimed, rocking back and fourth on his heels.

“Soo! I was thinking maybe you should buy me a bunch of things, then I can murder you and take your stuff!” Kokichi smiled innocently, keenly stepping forward.

“But that’s a lie, isn’t it?” Shuichi deadpanned, crossing his arms and staring back at him. Ouma’s face was blank for a second, before it turned back into his usual smug grin. “Maybe! You’re catching on quick, Saihara chan!”

Shuichi chuckled, fidgeting with a strand of his hair. “Is that a good thing?” He asked, playfully tilting his head. Kokichi pouted in response, his eyes looking glossy. “No it’s not! It’s horrible! If Saihara chan keeps trying to figure me out I’ll have to kill him!”

Saihara nervously smiled, adverting his eyes as per usual. “I’m hoping that’s a lie too,” he murmured. Kokichi laughed, wearing a familiar mischievous grin. “Probably!” Was all he said before skipping off, leaving Saihara to catch up with him.

—

While Ouma was aimlessly walking around, (it seemed like he was at least, Saihara noted,) they ended up running into someone else.

Or, Ouma antagonizing one of his friends. Hopefully one of his friends.

“Hey, tit for brains! Come here!” Kokichi yelled, cupping his hands around his mouth. Multiple people turned to look at them, a few covering their mouths in shock. Shuichi couldn’t do much other then look down and hope they would stop.

A girl (who looked to be about their age,) walked up to them, a scowl on her face. “What the hell do you want Kokichi?” She asked, a hand on her hip. Ouma grinned and bought a finger to his lips before replying, “Well, I just wanted to give you the honor of seeing me!

Shuichi excepted a very, very bad reaction to that statement, but she just laughed and gently shoved Kokichi. “C'mon, the gorgeous Miu Iruma knows that’s a lie!” She exclaimed, placing a hand on her chest.

Iruma stared at Saihara, looking him up and down. “Who’s the twink?” She asked, turning to Ouma. The other boy scoffed, scowling at her. “Wow, already giving my iconic nickname to some rando? Im truly and deeply offended!” He replied dramatically, tears brimming his eyes.

“But that was just a lie. Even a cum dumpster like you could understand!” He exclaimed, a sly grin on his face. Miu flushed, shrinking away. “C-cum dumpster?” She murmured.

Ouma is weird. His friends are too. Is this how most people act? I really hope not.

“But! This is my new slave, Saihara chan! Say hi Saihara chan!” He said in a soothing voice, as if he was talking to a kid. Which, Saihara did not appreciate. His parents did that enough.

He still muttered a quiet hi, anyways.

“Aaanyways!! Are you just eating all alone in a cafe? How sad! I think you should totally pay for us and buy us some food!” Kokichi exclaimed, smiling innocently. “Hell no! If you want food buy some yourself!” She yelled, a scowl on her face.

“Plus, I have more important things to do than-” She was cut off by another girl, (how many people did Ouma know??) gently tapping Miu’s shoulder. “Is everything alright? I heard you yelling,” She commented, looking at the two boys.

Iruma flushed, looking a bit nervous. “Everything’s fine!” She murmured, fidgeting with a strand of her hair. Kokichi’s grinned, staring at her. Miu stared back, slightly glaring.

“Oooo! Miu’s on a-!” “Shut up! You- little twink!” She quickly yelled over him, stammering for an answer. Ouma laughed, slightly leaning against Saihara for support.

“You always talk shit about how no one’s worthy of dating you a-” “SHUT UP!” She practically screamed, her face a brilliant red. People kept turning to see what the commotion was, which kept making Saihara nervously shift in place.

The girl behind Iruma (which he still didn’t know,) spoke up, a slightly nervous smile on her face. “So, I’m assuming you know these boys Iruma?” She asked, practically glowing.

“W-well, I know the purple little sh- gremlin, that’s Kokichi,” she murmured, twirling her hair. “And this is Saihara chan!” He chirped, showing off the other boy like a trophy. “He’s like, totally deaf, so that’s why he’s so quiet!”

“No I’m not,” He deadpanned, slightly sighing. Kokichi just giggled, gently nudging him forward. “Well it’s nice to meet you Saihara kun! I’m Akamatsu!” She smiled, trying to distract Miu and Ouma from fighting.

“It’s nice to meet you too Akamatsu san,” He murmured, looking to the side. She just smiled, not seeming to mind the lack of eye contact. “So!” She exclaimed, clapping her hands together, causing Kokichi and Iruma to temporarily stop glaring at each other.

“Since we’re all here, why don’t we do something together?” She asked. Ouma smiled innocently, “Yeah, we should! Riiight I-ru-ma channn?” He teased, his smile turning into a mischievous grin.

Miu just muttered something along the lines of, “Whatever,” and crossed her arms. “Since Iruma san and I just got here, we can all eat in the cafe. Sound good?”

No one objected, so she smiled and went into the cafe. Once they were crammed into a small booth, the whole situation finally hit Shuichi.

This whole thing wouldn’t be a problem if he knew how to talk to people without getting nervous. If that was the case, everything would be fine. Perfect even. Except, he didn’t. He had mostly been isolated most of his life, and kept to himself.

So this was a major problem.

Before Saihara could have a meltdown in public where a bunch of people could see him, Kokichi spoke up. “Sooo, are you guys friends or?~” He asked, a sly grin on his face.

“Yeah, we’re friends! We met a few weeks ago when she spilled her drink on me,” She replied, quietly giggling. “It’s probably because she was-” Ouma was cut off by Miu again, “No I wasn’t you twink! Shut up!”

Kaede gently pat Iruma’s shoulder, effectively shutting her up. “So, do you guys have any funny stories?” She asked, tilting her head. “I’m so glad you asked Akamatsu chan!” Ouma exclaimed, slamming his hands on the table in excitement, causing Saihara to flinch.

“Well, I remember once my organization and I were throwing some water balloons at some random kingdom nearby, and we ended up getting chased around for a bit! It was suuuuper fun!” He chirped, smiling.

Shuichi froze up for a second, staring wide eyed at Kokichi. He remembered overhearing that conversation when he was around seven, talking about kids in clown masks and checkered scarves.

“Why did you even-” Saihara murmured, staring at him. “Oh, you know,” Ouma very helpfully replied, a playful grin on his face. Shuichi quietly laughed, covering his mouth. “I’ll never get how you’re able to do things like that, I can’t even maintain eye contact for more than a few seconds.”

“All it takes is some practice and a fake personality!” He sing songed, gently nudging him. Shuichi continued laughing, still trying to muffle it. Miu and Kaede eventually joined in, everyone smiling.

Maybe he could stay a little longer. He still has a lot he wants to know about everyone else.

—

wwww this doesn’t feel too good but,,, needed to get done,, -DA

3 | 4 | 5

Read it on AO3!

#Candy Kingdom #dream anon #saiouma #oumasai #ouma kokichi #saihara shuuichi #shuuichi saihara #kokichi #ouma #saihara #shuuichi #shuichi #danganronpa #ndrv3 #dr #v3 #danganornpa v3 #submission

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a-wolf-and-his-boy · 4 years

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End Of June: Sterek Fanfic Recs’

Hello all! I am incredibly sorry that this rec list is late, Tumblr recently went through an update that I didn’t know about and was left staring angrily at a white screen where my dashboard was supposed to be. Anyways as an official apology I’ve added extra reading material to keep you entertained ;) x.

(Fuck you they said) As they threw their threads from their wedding bed by dearericbittle (dutchmoxie) [9/9 - 96,199 - Mature]

First Son Stiles Stilinski just accidentally caused an international incident. And apparently the only way to save human-werewolf relations is to marry him off to Prince Derek of Triskele. Stiles is going to need all of his acting skills to make the marriage look real, because the Prince is kind of a fucking asshole.

The paint’s supposed to go where? by isthatbloodonhisshirt (wasterella) [1/1 - 1,781 - Teen+]

“Okay,” Derek said, coming up beside him and holding out the can of blue paint. “Dip your palms in this.”

“Why?” Stiles asked, even as he stuck his right hand into the can and coated it in the blue substance. “Also, why are you making me move when it means you’re going to have to reposition me just right all over again?”

“Because I was only doing that to drive you crazy,” Derek insisted with a sassy smirk. Damn that sassy bastard! “We’re both going to be moving for this.”

“Okay,” Stiles said uncertainly, his left hand now coated in paint. “Why?”

Murder, He Wrote by mklutz [1/1 - 31,682 - Explicit]

And that was how Stiles accidentally became a New York Times bestselling author.

Both your hands in the holes of my sweater by dearericbittle (dutchmoxie) [1/1 - 2,223 - Teen+]

Laura Hale is trying to murder him. How dare she give Derek the softest, most adorable sweater! When she knows that Stiles' weak bisexual heart can't handle that level of cute from the man he's most definitely in love with. "It has thumbholes." Yeah, well thanks for that, Derek.

On my Way by Gia279 [1/1 - 17,955 - Not Rated]

Huge black paws smacked the window, followed by a fuzzy face smooshing up against it.

He scrambled over the gear shift, tipping into the passenger seat. Bear, he thought hysterically. It had to be a bear, a freaking bear.

A big pink tongue rolled out, lips pulling back as the creature panted.

And the Cold Pulls You Down by blacktofade [1/1 - 12,967 - Explicit]

“Do you believe in ghosts?” Stiles asks Derek one night after he’s settled into bed, listening to the sound of Derek brushing his teeth in the bathroom.

“Ghosts?” Derek asks, voice muffled by toothbrush and paste as he stands in the doorway to stare at Stiles.

Or, the one where Stiles is 99.9% sure their house is haunted and no one believes him.

Hot Dad Derek by Anzieizna [1/1 - 3,380 - General]

After a few more minutes of Michael’s story, Stiles was once again distracted by the sound of excited squealing. He looked over his date’s shoulder to see the kid slapping his spoon onto his meal, sending chunks of food flying into the air with laughter.

The dad - wow, what a jawline - hurried to stop him, reprimanding him as he held his hand gently. The kid looked about a second away from crying, his lip already quivering and his eyes misting over, and like a flip had been switched Hot Dad went from ‘angry parent’ to ‘caring father’ real quick.

Right now, watching this gorgeous guy wipe away at some food at the corner of his son’s mouth, Stiles imagined being part of that little family.

Then Michael clicked his fingers in front of his face.

-- OR: --

Stiles is on a bad date - like, a really, really bad date - but the cute baby being adorable behind the guy kind of makes up for it. Oh yeah, and the dad is hot as hell. That helps.

fly high by starcanopus [1/1 - 2,438 - General]

"And there goes Hale with the Quaffle - you know, he looks pretty good in uniform, the green really brings out his eyes - and oof, it's stolen by Mahealani. Good job, Danny-boy! Mahealani passes to Argent, who manages to dodge Little Hale’s Bludger - dodges Reyes - SCORES!” Stiles pumps his fist and hollers, “Take that, you slimy, scheming little s-”

He dodges Finstock’s lunge and holds the megaphone out of reach.

“Sorry Professor, got caught up in the moment.”

Kiss the Cook by idyll [1/1 - 5,004 - Teen+]

Derek's a professional chef, and Stiles is a blogger who butchers his recipes.

Hemingway Can Suck It by orphan_account [1/1 - 10,054 - Teen+]

“For those of you who just transferred into this class or simply decided that day one wasn’t important enough to attend, I’m Professor Hale. Welcome to English 346, The American Novel.”

Stiles is pretty sure his mouth is hanging open right now and that his eyes are wide with shock, because holy fuck, he thinks he knows why his students transferred. Hell, if he was still an undergrad, he probably would have transferred, too.

(Or: In which Stiles is a Biology professor and Derek thinks he's a student.)

The Importance of History and Math by WolfMadeFromAsh [1/1 - 7,615 - Not Rated]

Derek and Stiles are both seniors, a misunderstanding freshman year has Stiles' best friend hating Derek. Derek's being crushing on Stiles since freshman year, problem is he has issues getting himself to talk to him.

I want you (no, I mean your art) by ElisAttack [3/3 - 8,983 - Mature]

"Scott, remember that new encaustic painting I sold last week?"

"Yeah, why?"

"Derek Hale's fucking a twink beside it."

Or the one where Stiles is an artist whose artworks keep appearing in his favourite porn star's videos.

Sleeping Dogs by starsystems [6/6 - 42,370 - Mature]

Let sleeping dogs lie.

Prov. Do not instigate trouble. Leave something alone if it might cause trouble.

Derek Hale is asleep in Stiles's bed. And it just escalates from there.

Because of course it does.

30 notes · View notes

succubused · 4 years

Note

I know nothing about jojo. Teach me it out of context

part 1 phantom blood. um jonathan (British) has some personal problems with his adopted brother dio brando (also british) and then dio kills their dad and becomes a vampire. jonathan gets shounen powers and a guy survives for like fifteen minutes after being cut in half. dio gets decapitated so jonathan went and got married but then dios decapitated head appeared on the boat and was like jonathan i respect you so i want to use your decapitated body as my own. and jonathan was like dude thats kind of fucked up but the boat blew up and dio did it anyway. erina survived though

im putting these under a cut cause it got long as fuck but heres your jojo summaries

part 2 battle tendency is like. joseph who is jonathans thotty grandson teams up with caesar zeppeli (italian) (gay) to defeat the pillar men which include kars (milf) esidisi (milfs live in boyfriend) wamuu (adopted son). another milf called lisa lisa trains them into their shounen powers and then esidisi shows up and kills the teachers aides and possesses lisa lisas assistant and then dies. basically they all get into this arena deathmatch involving zombie horses and kars grows wings and runs around all sexy for a little bit before getting launched into space. caesar gets crushed by a stone cross after making a gay ass speech. love loses. also it turns out lisa lisa was josephs mom the whole time.

part 3 stardust crusaders i kind of hate but i love the characters so basically jotaro kujo (josephs grandson) um he gets his stand and hes like whats this evil spirit i have to be locked in prison for everyones protection. and then his mom gets a stand too but sike women arent people so shes going to die. this is of course dios fault and they have to kill dio. kakyoin tries to kill jotaro and then jotaro pulls the worm out of his head and theyre best friends after that. polnareff tries to kill avdol and avdol sets him on fire and theyre [redacted] after that. they all go on a wacky roadtrip to cairo to kill dio during which kakyoin feeds a baby its own shit and avdol fakes his death for a little over a week. killing dio doesnt go great and vanilla ice sucks avdol into the void and kills their dog iggy and i hate watching that part. kakyoin is crushed under the weight of his own hubris. dio thinks hes sexy for being able to stop time but jotaro can also stop time and he kills dio. jotaros very traumatized due to the entire experience. for some reason both polnareff and joseph survive. the end

part 4 diamond is unbreakable is basically josuke higashikata whos josephs kid out of wedlock hunting down a serial killer with a hand fetish. jotaro is there hes a marine biologist now and josuke is technically his uncle. theres also josukes best friend okuyasu theyre a lil gay but thats alright we like them. also got short king koichi and yukako. and evil twink mangaka rohan. its like murder mystery except a lil more fucked up cause its jojo. ultimately kira (murderer with hand fetish) gets his ultimate powers that manipulate time and space but it doesnt even matter cause josuke has protagonist disease okuyasu dies for like 10 mins but he gets better. kira gets punched into the street by jotaro and then an ambulance runs him over and he dies.

part 5 vento aureo is giorno giovanna whos dios kid but hes also jonathans kid bc dio fucked with jonathans body and thats how giorno was born. he kind of acts like dio if dio had jonathans moral code and hes blond. anyway hes 15 and he joins the mafia because he wants to end heroin abuse and he ends up getting god timespace manipulation powers and killing the boss diavolo but half of his friends are killed horribly so that sucks. and then he becomes the don of the italian mafia. and hes still 15. also polnareff is there for a minute he gets killed sort of but his ghost possesses a turtle so hes giornos turtle after that i guess.

part 6 stone ocean my favorite part cause theres finally lesbianism. jolyne who is jotaros daughter is in prison bc she got framed for murder by her boyfriend. jotaros been an absent father due to him having personal problems. he shows up to break her out of prison but he gets his soul and his stand turned into discs and pulled out of his head and he goes into a coma and most of the rest is jolyne trying to get the discs back. she has 2 girlfriends called hermes and foo fighters who is technically a mass of sentient plankton. weather report (sexy) and anasui (ugly) are also there. the main antagonist is pucci who is a priest and was also dios best friend when he (pucci) was 16 for some reason. by the end they get jotaros discs back and pucci successfully starts manipulating reality itself and it turns out weather report was his brother all along and their backstory is REALLY fucked up and then jotaro comes back and anasui is like jotaro can i marry your daughter and hes like no and then everyone gets killed and pucci resets the universe but emporio the ten year old theyve been hanging out with gets weather reports stand and uses it to follow pucci through the universe resets and he ends up creating one where pucci never existed. it ends with “irene” kujo meeting hermes and anasui/weather report are also there. its implied that this is a new universe where none of the bad shit ever happened. emporio is crying. it kind of sucks

part 7 steel ball run i really dont know how to summarize but basically johnny joestar whos like alt universe jonathan but actually not really like that at all. hes also paralyzed from the waist down and he wishes he wasnt. um he meets an italian (gyro zeppeli) and they go on a horse race across america to track down the body of christ. they meet diego brando whos like dio but hes more about class warfare than megalomania and hot pants who has a stand that lets her turn her flesh into spray. diegos stand is that he can turn himself and other living things into dinosaurs. johnny can shoot his fingernails like bullets. anyway they end up fighting the president of the united states (funny valentine) who was trying to turn lucy steele whos only like 14 into a vessel for the corpse of jesus or something and he kills gyro and hotpants and diego and johnnys like this sucks but sends him into an infinite death loop bc hes a dimension hopper but he just keeps dying over and over again in any dimension he goes into. and he deserved it

part 8 jojolion i havent read but gappy seems like a nice guy

#jjba #think i got brain damage #vulturousculturalist

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traincat · 5 years

Note

how many relationships has Johnny had? did they /all/ end badly or does he, like, actually have some good ones in there

I wouldn’t say all of Johnny’s relationships are bad. He has some bad ones, some real bad ones, some good ones, some utterly forgettable ones, and some weird ones. I sometimes think a character’s first relationship kind of sets the tone for their future relationship history, like Peter Parker being in the middle of two love triangles and being the hot item in both of them. In Johnny’s case, his first relationship involved his girlfriend lamenting that he wasn’t more like other boys and saying she wished he wasn’t so flaming all the time. It’s a metaphor. But Johnny Storm’s relationship history, the quick and dirty version. For the sake of simplicity, I won’t be including one off mentions of celebrity dates and only addressing on page relationships.

Dorrie Evans: Johnny’s high school girlfriend who, as noted above, hated his flaming on and often compared him unfavorably to other boys, such as Peter Parker. Their relationship ended when Johnny ghosted her until she broke up with him, although they apparently remained on good enough terms for Dorrie to lend Johnny her car shortly afterward. When Johnny and Crystal broke up, Johnny tried to get back together with Dorrie only to find out she was married with kids. And that’s why we have Facebook now.

Valeria of the 5th Dimension: A beautiful blue girl who developed a crush on Johnny when he briefly ended up in her dimension during his Strange Tales days, Johnny mostly seemed awkward around Valeria. They kissed once later after Johnny broke up with Crystal (you may notice Johnny has a habit of revisiting past relationships, usually unsuccessfully) and then nothing ever happened with them again, and it’s unlikely to come back up seeing as Johnny now has a niece named Valeria (after a third totally unrelated Fantastic Four Valeria).

Crystal Amaquelin: Probably the most popular and well known of Johnny’s relationships, and for a good reason. Johnny and Crystal started their relationship as star-crossed teen lovers from different worlds yearning to be with each other, a superhero Romeo and Juliet without the murder-suicide, and once they are together, they’re honestly pretty cute.

(FF #67) They’re cute! That it’s probably Johnny’s happiest, most stable relationship is probably the reason it gets revisited a lot in AUs and future What Ifs, although I personally think the charm of it is in the teenage puppy love and that returning to it isn’t the best move for either character. The relationship falls apart when Crystal, who can’t tolerate the outside world’s polluted atmosphere, returns to the Inhumans and falls in love with Quicksilver, who she later married. Johnny took the break up hard, and he and Crystal later had an emotional affair when Crystal was on the Fantastic Four after leaving Pietro and when Johnny had only just gotten married, but things never progressed to a physical level mostly because Johnny refused to cheat.

Frankie Raye: Originally created by Roy Thomas, Frankie Raye was a beautiful redheaded girl with a deep-seated fear of fire who seemed tormented by Johnny’s status as a superhero. Thomas originally intended for her to be the daughter of Toro Raymond, the sidekick of the original Human Torch, but Frankie dropped off the pages before that could be revealed. Johnny briefly dated a girl named Lorrie Melton who he met while racing, but Lorrie broke up with him when it became apparent he was more interested in a serious relationship than she was. Frankie Raye resurfaced in Byrne’s run, where Byrne reworked her backstory so that, instead of Toro’s daughter, Frankie was the step-daughter of Phineas Horton, the man who created the original android Human Torch. As a child, Frankie suffered an accident that gave her flame powers. Horton hypnotized her to give her flame powers and to make her dress in a golden leotard to help control her powers. Frankie’s powers reawakened and for a time she joined the Fantastic Four, but her deep yearning to be wild and free -- an interesting contrast with how tightly under control Johnny keeps his powers -- led to her making the decision to become Galactus’ new Herald, a decision that left Johnny near suicidal when she left the planet.

(FF #244)

I don’t think there was anything wrong with Johnny and Frankie’s relationship during the duration of it, although I will note that it does the opposite of heat up, so to speak, once Frankie gets her powers, and that they had certain ideological differences that didn’t speak to a great future together. (Frankie occasionally displayed a violent side that on at least one occasion worried Johnny.) Much later, an alternate universe Frankie Raye who expressed feelings for Johnny violently assaulted him in the middle of battle, kissing him before throwing him to the ground, though.

Julie Angel and Sharon Selleck: Julie Angel was Frankie Raye’s roommate who, after Frankie disappeared with Galactus, Johnny developed a crush on, attending the same acting classes as her, although she didn’t seem to reciprocate his feelings. Her friend, Sharon Selleck, developed a crush on Johnny but when she made a move on him he rebuffed her:

(FF #259) If you read Fantastic Four, Johnny will occasionally say he used to date Julie, but it’s simply not true -- Julie does kiss him once, but he doesn’t reciprocate the embrace, and laments afterwards that he’s over her anyway, so. Mark those down at not relationships.

Zsaji: An alien Johnny shared a flirtation and a few kisses with during the original Secret Wars event. Johnny wasn’t very emotionally invested in the relationship, which is odd for him given he usually goes from 0 to 60 on the “now we’re in love” meter. Colossus was very emotionally invested, though. Very, very emotionally invested.

“Alicia Masters”/Lyja: Retroactively revealed to be the Skrull Lyja, Johnny and Alicia started dating in secret after Ben remained in space after Secret Wars. While Lyja would later admit that she got close to Johnny specifically for her mission, she claimed she only originally meant to be a confidante before falling in love with him, but it’s hard to tell with Lyja what you can and can’t take at face value when the character frequently lies. Johnny and Alicia officially get together in Fantastic Four #275, which marks Johnny’s first “sex scene” in the form of a morning after scene where he appears regretful about the night and might even be trying to break off the relationship before Alicia convinces him to continue it:

For reference, Peter’s first published “after the deed” scene is in Amazing Spider-Man #150, published 10 years before this. Though it caused problems with Ben when he returned from space, Johnny and Alicia got married in Fantastic Four #300, although pretty immediately there were relationship problems, including a lack of chemistry. Johnny had 1.5 emotional affairs, the first with Crystal. Later, when he was bodyjacked by Ravonna Ravenslayer in guise of Nebula, who used his powers to kill people and hit on Gladiator because I don’t know, she thought he was into blond twinks, I guess. Though the bodyjacking by Nebula is depicted to be both physically painful and emotionally traumatizing, with it being specifically compared to an incident where Johnny loses control of his powers, and overall a not so subtle rape metaphor, Johnny laments afterwards that he can’t stop thinking about how beautiful Nebula was and is guilty over the fact that he’s more attracted to her than Alicia. (I think the attempt was to make the original story both consensual and straight when it was neither.)

Shortly after this, “Alicia” is revealed by Ben and Alicia’s father to be a Skrull impostor and it comes out that Johnny never was with the real Alicia at all, her having been switched out when he was off planet. I have a couple of long posts unpacking The Lyja Story -- it’s a long, long story -- linked in this post but I think it’s important to note that Johnny thought he was consenting to a romantic and sexual relationship with a friend he trusted and not with an alien spy who had a mission to harm his family. Not only that, but after the Skrull reveal, Lyja attempts to murder Johnny, lies to him twice about a baby, once in an incident that could’ve led to the deaths of him and his family, and when Johnny specifically told her he didn’t want to see her anymore she invented a new identity -- Laura Green -- so she could continue to be with him without his knowledge, explicitly stating that she knows if Johnny knew it was her he wouldn’t want to be with her. She also used the Laura identity to insult and belittle him, calling him “trite and simple” and “pedestrian.” So when you want to talk about bad relationships Johnny’s been in, I think it’s hard to beat the one where he was raped, gaslit, abused, and stalked. A lot of writers tend to refer to this genuinely as a romance but I think it’s important to talk about what actually went on in the relationship and how it’s a pretty horrifying violation of Johnny on every level.

Alysande “Caledonia” Stuart: After Lyja disappeared from the pages following Heroes Reborn, Johnny rescued a woman from another Earth named Alysande Stuart and essentially hid her from the family in the basement. (They all knew.) Though Johnny implied he had feelings for Alysande and Alysande swore a deep loyalty to him, nothing physical ever happens between them, and the relationship never evolved beyond the platonic. They did go to Comic Con together once.

Namorita: Johnny briefly dated Namor’s cousin Namorita after they discovered they were a hit with the paparazzi, in the first of Johnny’s “celebrity” relationships that seem more based on their respective profiles than any honest attraction. Namorita and Johnny never spend much time together, something Fantastic Four itself remarks on. They break up off-screen. The comic itself doesn’t make the link that Johnny might’ve been targeted because of his former connection to her, but after Namorita dies in the Stanford Incident that incites comics’ Civil War, an angry mob beats Johnny into a coma.

Kourtney: A model Johnny briefly dated. This is another celebrity relationship -- and one where they don’t even seem to like each other very much. Kourtney complains about attending Franklin’s birthday party and breaks up with Johnny when the Fantastic Four lose their fortune, although they later briefly get back together. Nothing much to write home about here.

(Marvel Knights 4 #2)

Psionics: A bad girl bank robber Johnny briefly had a sexual relationship with -- before she helped a future version of Sue abduct him to use him as a power source in a move that might have killed him. Psionics later kisses Johnny, but the art suggests he doesn’t reciprocate before departing for a new planet. When they next see each other, Psionics attempts to kidnap Val and kills Alyssa Moy, a family friend of the Fantastic Four, in front of Johnny, before she’s murdered, also in front of Johnny.

Daken: This one is a doozy in part because the actual relationship is in a bit of a canonical grey area -- it’s only ever implied, although the implications are not at all subtle, that Johnny had a romantic and/or sexual relationship with Daken, Wolverine’s 70 pansexual son.

(Daken #4) Like I said: the implications aren’t subtle. Daken ingratiates himself with the Fantastic Four mostly through Johnny, including engineering his meeting with them by shooting Johnny through the thigh with an arrow. (Johnny doesn’t know Daken shot him, but also, holy penetration metaphor, Batman.) Daken later tricks Johnny into thinking he’s dead, fakes an attack on Franklin so he can stage it to seem like he rescued him, and then mostly likely, going by the above panels, had sex with Johnny right after, though again, that’s just an implication. I say this is a canon grey area because, while Marvel the conglomerate hasn’t acknowledged any canonical attraction to men on Johnny’s part, Marjorie Liu did say in a tweet that the subtext was intentional and readers were meant to sense something was up. After this encounter, Daken steals from Reed’s lab, and the next time Johnny sees him (which is after Johnny’s stint in the Negative Zone) Daken tells him that “real people stay dead.” Then Daken tries to murder Reed. I do hope that if/when Johnny comes out it’s revealed he’s head other relationships with men because this is a hell of a first one if otherwise.

Darla Deerling: Another Johnny celebrity relationship. Johnny dated pop star Darla Deering for a hot minute before getting her to take his place on an emergency replacement Fantastic Four, where Darla met and fell in love with Scott Lang. On his return, Johnny wasn’t too broken up about it, telling Wyatt Wingfoot that he was more attracted to Darla’s rock star lifestyle than to Darla herself. Lot to unpack there.

Rogue: Rogue and Johnny dated, allegedly, during the time skip after the 2015 Secret Wars, but we never see it on the actual page, and it’s acknowledged by most canon that Johnny is a huge mess during this point in time, grieving very badly for the family he thinks is lost. They flirt a little bit after their alleged break up during their time together on the Uncanny Avengers team but I have to admit, it can very easily be read as friendly.

(Avengers #689)

Medusa: Yes, as in, Crystal’s older sister, Medusa. This one’s a mess largely in part to the fact that the writer didn’t do the research and backread the Fantastic Four issues where Medusa was on the team with Johnny, where they were actually quite close although not romantically involved. Medusa and Johnny keep their relationship secret, which of course blows up in their faces when Crystal inevitably finds out and is furious with them. I think it’s easy to read this relationship as Johnny trying to latch onto what family he has left -- Ben is in space and not talking to him at this point in time, Reed and Sue and the kids are presumed dead -- in an effort not to self-destruct in a way that doesn’t quite work. The relationship ends with a whimper and not a bang when Medusa leaves Johnny.

So there you have it! The relationship history of Johnny Storm.

#johnny storm #marvel comics #*replies #long post/#traincat talks comics #assault ment//#Anonymous

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ramblinganthropologist · 3 years

Text

N7 Challenge Day 2 - Science

Summary: If you think about it, Shepard is really Cerberus’ fucked up little science project. If Frankenstein’s monster got to complain a little about conditions, then Miranda’s can whine she left some nonessential parts in.

---

As much as he hated what Cerberus had done with the place... maybe the top floor being his wasn't so bad after all.

Alistair sighed as the door slid shut behind him. Up here, he was finally alone. Nobody was staring at him like he had two heads or was gaping at the fact he should have been 6 feet under or in a jar. Better yet, nobody was asking him how he was going to stop the Collectors from abducting another human colony or what the next move is. Here he could relax and breathe a little.

Breathing... right.

“Ugh...” His shirt dropped to the floor as he examined his appearance in the mirror. There were new bruises, not quite broken ribs. He had been lucky this time according to a bemused Doctor Chakwas. She had told him before to go in for the surgery, but he hadn't gotten the chance before dying. Now...

He prodded his binder in the mirror. “I still have no idea why she kept these. Don't see how having a flat chest would make me any worse.”

Something something, exactly as he was supposed to be? It was bullshit if you asked Alistair. Of course, nobody was asking him. They probably figured it was good enough that he was alive. Why bother dealing with worrying about it, Commander Shepard was alive again.

Commander Shepard was also risking broken ribs every mission, thank you very much. Maybe the magic science bullshit wizards should have considered that when they were putting him back together.

He let both the matter and his binder drop, though one took a bit more effort. After changing, it was back to an oversized hoodie as he settled in to get some work done. On the bright side, he could breathe. Downside... everything else.

Hi, gender dysphoria. Apparently you were crucial to saving humanity or something.

He lost himself to his work, reviewing records and checking on possible colonies, for the better part of an hour. Alistair would have stayed longer – there was plenty of reports to sift through – but someone was knocking at his door. Like, actually knocking and not using their omni-tool to let him know they were there.

So... that narrowed things.

“Be right there, Bo!” His new joints didn't creak as he rose, but there was plenty of time for that. Besides, he made up for that with the glowing exposed implants sticking out of his jaw and forehead. It wasn't a pretty sight – though it may have been improved if he could've hacked the color to blue. As a pink-toned ginger, red was kind of overkill. Besides, blue was his favorite color and they were his damn life sustaining implants. If anyone got to pick the color, it was him.

But... he wasn't allowed to try changing the color. Something about maybe killing him. He had kind of lost focus during that conversation.

Speaking of – the door slid open, revealing his XO on the other side. Bo looked about as comfortable on the new Normandy as he was, and she cast a wary eye around as she entered the room. Then she looked towards the floor, and where his clothing still lay. Her lip curled at the sight of her binder, and he swore he saw murder in her eyes.

“You gotta be kidding me, they didn't deal with that while you were dead?!”

Alistair, despite everything, emphatically groaned. “No, they fucking didn't! I'm pretty sure I've got everything that came with the original hardware!”

They both shared a scowl as Bo took a seat on his bed. As she did, she tossed him her omni-tool. Unsurprisingly, it was broken again. What did catch him off guard was that it was the same model she had been using before he died.

There had to have been easy models between 2183 and 85...

“You've made it idiot-proof, don't think too hard about it.” Bo was still scowling. “Remind me to punch Miranda for her weird little science experiment when I see her again. She spent all that time on you and she couldn't make a few modifications?”

Alistair rolled his eyes as he started to tinker with the omni-tool. “With pleasure. If she could add an eye, I don't see why she couldn't figure out testicles. They didn't even need to work, I don't plan on having children.”

His XO snickered at that. “Not that you could have kids with a turian anyway. Pretty sure even Mordin couldn't get levo and dextro to gel.”

The mere mention of turians caused Alistair's face to turn scarlet. He ducked his head in the excuse of examining the details on the broken omni-tool. The screen was cracked, but he had a replacement for that. Mostly, it just looked like she had knocked the wires loose – probably punched someone a little too hard. His reinforcements probably came loose over two years. Easy fix.

Maybe he should just design a whole new one for her...

“Thinking about Garrus, huh?”

There was a teasing tone to Bo's voice that made his cheeks even redder. Alistair shot her a blank look as he reached for a small device in his toolbox. Even after the Normandy exploded, it was good to know someone had salvaged it.

After all, what would he do without his trusty work vibrator?

“I can't believe you actually still use that.” Bo's tone was flat as she watched him apply the vibration to check for weak spots. “You're such a fucking nerd.”

Alistair snickered as he looked up from his work. “Given what I'm working with -”

“Gross. Please tell me you got another one of those.”

No, but it wasn't like he got a lot of private time given how often he had to fix something or save somebody from certain doom so it was kind of low on his list of priorities. Besides, being zombie Jesus in N7 armor made that kind of purchase... awkward.

Like, who expects the risen Commander Shepard to walk in looking for a vibrator anyway?

“I don't need one for actual use right now, thankfully.” He whistled low once he spotted the problem. “Wow, you sure knocked this one loose. Another centimeter and the whole thing would have been a total loss.”

Bo sighed in relief. “Good thing I didn't hit that one krogan twice then.”

Of course she'd hit a krogan. She was always doing that.

“Next time, just use your biotics.” Alistair shook his head as he started the repairs. Honestly, it wasn't the ideal situation. He had picked his hoodie for size and comfort, but the problem was the sleeves were a little large on him and had a place he could stick his thumb through if he felt like it. Normally that was fine – hiding his hands was a plus sometimes – but it didn't work when he was soldering.

And... ok, maybe a hoodie with hamster ears wasn't the best tech wear.

At least Bo didn't laugh when he rolled up his sleeves and kept working. He didn't mind her presence either as he made sure the wires weren't going anywhere once she started swinging again. Something about having her on his bed, watching him work, was comforting. In a sense, it was home. Though Cerberus had tried, they hadn't quite figured out how to hit that for him in their mad dash to convince him to work for them. Just the fact they had left him a uterus was a black mark they were never getting rid of, the rest was just icing on the shit cake of why he would eventually be stealing their ship and hightailing it back to the Alliance with all their info.

What, Frankenstein's monster caused a little havoc in his day. Wasn't he entitled to do the same? He hadn't exactly been asked to be brought back to save the galaxy.

“Just a little more and -” the screen glowed to life under his hands. “There we go, it's working again!”

Almost immediately, a message started playing. “Commander Shepard, if you could meet me in-”

Shit. He knew that voice. One eye landed on his XO – she had already tensed up. Then there was something about reports needing to be filed and she might have been behind on doing that? Honestly, no surprises there; Bo was analog, so computers tended to break around her. They'd probably been doing it even more with the Cerberus agent on her back about it.

If he wasn't careful, she was going to break the omni-tool, and he was out of spare parts...

“Fuck off, Miranda. I'll get to it once the computer's fixed.” Bo reached over to shut off the link with surprising delicacy. She must have seen the fear in his eyes and held pity over his rebuilt form. “You think she'd get I hate her.”

He shrugged his shoulders as he started to clean. “Maybe she enjoys having an angry lesbian hating her.”

“Then she should love having a pissed off twink despising her.”

Despise – that was a good word. He'd accept it. It got close enough in his mind to how he actually felt as he swept away the remains of his repair project. With a clean work space, it was easier to think. Not that it was ever completely easy, but it helped.

Though... did he hear something about a broken computer?

“So do you want me to fix that or what?”

Bo responded by practically picking him up and depositing him on the bed. “I want you to get some fucking sleep. You look like death.”

“I slept for 2 years-”

“Then a few more hours won't bother you.” She shot him a look. “You can't fix everything. It'll be there when you get up.”

Alistair wanted to argue, but it was impossible. When Bo got like that, he didn't stand a chance. Most times, he didn't even try. Mostly he was just annoyed she had picked him up like he was his own damn hamster.

He was a fully grown man, damn it...

“Alright, I'll swing by when I wake up.”

Bo nodded and started to retreat. “See you when you do. I'm going to go punch Miranda in the face for the uterus bullshit.”

Honestly, he wasn't sure if she was being serious as the door closed around him and the light dimmed. EDI had probably been listening in by then. It kept him from having to get up as he pulled off his hoodie and crawled under the blanket.

That was something else he would have to see to when he woke up. In a weird way, it was ironically appropriate. After all, Miranda's monster was going to have to go save Miranda from the angry villagers.

That, or Miranda's monster could just sleep a little longer. Being brought back from the dead was exhausting work. Maybe a nap wasn't such a bad idea after all...

#n7month #ramblinganthropologist's writing #Alistair Shepard #Bo Peep Shepard

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manifestoonmoralmanlove · 5 years

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Gormless Ch. 2 - Nudie Groovin’ straight into a plot crater.

A well-meaning friend gave me a book series that is hilariously bad. The first book was Souless and my riffs were entitled brainless. This second book is entitled Changless and these riff are then gormless.

I mean to say I have entitled them gormless! Not that my riffs are dumb, and the effort I spend on them stupid since I’m the only one who enjoys them. HAHA!

The story is SUPPOSED TO be about how a badass lady wearing a rad-looking carriage dress hits baddies with her umbrella and bangs her hot werewolf husband. In reality it’s mostly poor attempts at being witty, flirty, and superior.

For the last book check out the brainless tag.

If you want the TL;DR version but want to read these new riffs anyway?

This story is set in supernatural Victorian steampunk England. Alexia is our NOT LIKE OTHER GIRLS protag. She is a soulless, which means she’s able to negate the abilities of vampires and werewolves by touching them. She’s recently married a big oaf, named Lord Connel Maccon. He’s the manchild in charge of the supernatural police with a zillion dollars and he’s totes super hot too ok. Their relationship is mostly arguments about how Maccon can’t tell her fucking anything. Alexia has also recently become head of ~Soulless affairs~ in Queen Victoria’s government. She has a dumb friend named Ivy, a gay vampire friend named Akeldama, a family who’s evil because they do the same shit as her but while being blonde, and most importantly Alexia is better than everyone cause...cause.

Last time on Gormless:

Alexia’s husband gotta do a thing in London. Her lawn is full of hot werewolves and the hottest one tried to both beat the shit out of her and fuck her. She’s not into being beat up, but she still wants to fuck him. That’s healthy. She’s gotta get to London too but her token dumb friend, Ivy, shows up and wants to talk about how she’s engaged to someone she doesn’t love.

Chapter 2 - Nudie Groovin’ straight into a plot crater.

Maccon is running his little wolf butt over to London where the problem is. As he’s running he thinks, “My wife has said I’m handsome in my wolf form but never in my human form.”

Damnit Alexia you’ve implied you think dogs are hotter than people twice already and we’re only at chapter two and like...I’m all for horny female leads, but Alexia is directing her horniness in every direction and some of them are incorrect.

Meanwhile Ivy is fussing over the servant who got punched, Tunstell. Ivy and Tunstell were the two that Lyall and Alexia tried to shack up at Alexia’s wedding. So, as predicted, Ivy is marrying somebody not Tunstell cause DRAMA! However in the span of 2 pages they make…I shit you not…7 separate references to how badly the two are pining for each other. Mind you some of the references are multiple sentences long and this type face is fucking enormous.

They’re not even cute, clever, or even amusingly overplayed. After this many references in such a short time frame I’d count that as haha FUCKING ANNOYING! Alexia, like a good friend, tells Ivy that Tunstell is a servant of the pack so he can become a werewolf someday, and that if he gets to that point he’ll probably die during the transformation. If he doesn’t get to that point, Tunstell as an actor is paid in dirt and dysentery. So it’s better that she’s marrying any other dude. That was some ice cold shit that I was honestly not expecting at all out of her. Alexia personally tried to get the two of them together at the end of the last book, and her recent ~romance~ bloomed against all odds. The only reason she’s dumping this shit on Ivy is to make sure this drama lasts more than a chapter…or maybe she doesn’t think Tunstell and Ivy have a healthy relationship cause they don’t spend all of their interactions screaming or fucking or scream-fucking each other.

But eventually Alexia remembers she’s late for a meeting so she hops in her carriage to get there. Ivy goes with her and it’s stated that Ivy relates to Alexia her wedding plans for 2 hours straight. And oh lord, I have been in similar situations. A part of me feels for Alexia, but another part of me is like...not long ago I read what felt like 20 pages of wedding dress, food, and decor descriptions. So she gets what she deserves.

We eventually get to the meeting and thus meet the head werewolf and vampire who she just refers to as their titles. The head werewolf is called a Dewan and is a big hairy grump who high-key hates her. The head vampire is called a Potentate and is a slimy suck-up who low-key hates her.

Let’s set the timer for when they both begrudgingly come to respect her!

We tediously re-explain the humanization phenomenon and introduce the ~glassicals~ again. Great that was so important and hilarious from the last novel. The Potentate also implies there’s a supernatural race stronger than the ones we already know. DUN DUN DUN! Also that an Alpha werewolf from Maccon’s old pack has mysteriously died. DUN DUN DUN! Eventually both the Potentate and the Dewan accuse Alexia of causing this humanization problem in London but eventually they all decide it is some ~science~ thing. They also bring up all the soldiers are coming back at the same time but the literal head of the military, the Dewan, when asked about this is like, “I honestly don’t know? I think it’s cut-backs I guess?” I’m glad we have an ominous plot point to build mystery and tension, but I really wish you didn’t slip it between two slices of real shit writing.

So they put Alexia in charge of investigating this phenomenon. So what does Alexia do? She goes home, reads some books in her library, gives up, and goes to bed.

She does not send people out to interview those who have ties to anti-supernatural movements, investigate abandoned buildings, quiz any scientists working in the science of the supernatural, check to see if any supernatural people where murdered since it’s been going on, see if it started in certain parts of London before others, or question powerful supernatural people in the London area to find some potential suspects. She could also try to figure out if anything else was happening around the same time for clues, like I DON’T KNOW how all these military folks are coming back at the same time?

Nah bro, just read old ass books you’ve already read for clues to a brand new phenomenon.

In the first book it made sense that she just wandered around and asked her buds for help cause she was a nobody just curious about shit. She’s now one of the most powerful women in the most powerful nation and now she’s doing less than the 1st book? Yep she is a keen investigator! Glad you put her in charge Queeny!

So Maccon comes back, says the humanization thing has suddenly and mysteriously stopped. We almost get more information but they do the thing they’re best at. By that I mean, they sorta put in a token effort to argue with each other over petty bullshit but they’re too horny to care enough and bang. But we get fade to black don’t ya know. K book, that’s why I have an adult novel!

Say something nice faps:

At least there’s plot. Plot that is starting mysterious in order to build some tension.

Lots of exposition in this chapter that’s not total garbage.

I can approve of Ivy having a crush on Tunstell, the dramatic twink. I would feast for years upon dramatic twinks before I’d even glance at 1 perfumed Neanderthal.

They make a gay joke at Maccon’s expense while he’s naked. And a part of me thrills to see an egotistical homophobe humiliated.

Gotta agree with the higher ups, Alexia does suck, but it’s best not to feed her hungry-as-hell persecution complex.

When Maccon and Alexia bang it implies that Maccon goes down on her. And like…cunnilingus is awesome okay, I’ll celebrate consensual cunnilingus almost anywhere.

#gormless #changeless #riffing

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viscerallywilbur · 5 years

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Daniel appreciation post

I have a little rat bastard named Daniel Kelly Hammond and everyone hates him but he's a good man.

This daft motherfucker is hated by just about everyone in the story but I love and appreciate him, and here's why:

He had no idea Jackson and Sean were finally together when he and Sean hooked up.

He deeply regretted banging a taken man and tried dozens of time to apologize only to be shut down.

He works ridiculously hard to keep himself in college, paying all he's remaining fees himself because he only got a partial scholarship.

He does everything he can to not be a burden on his aunts because he knows they didn't have to take him in.

He feels bad for his mother rather than hating her despite her abusive tendencies that had eventually led to his own father's death.

He tries ridiculously hard to stay positive despite his shitty situation, but still acknowledges his own mental health and need to go to therapy and take his antidepressants.

•He's not the bad guy!!!

Something to consider next time you read about Jackson being a bitch.

Also an excerpt from later on in the book:

He went to bed knowing he had plenty to think over now, and as his eyes fluttered shut wondered what the future had in store for him. He drifted off, and then woke up somewhere entirely new.

Jackson was beyond confused to see that he had woken up in a dark, snowy environment he had no recognition of. From what he could see, he was resting in a chair on the back end of an old fishing boat. Out front, a dim yellow light shone off into the distance illuminating the falling snow ahead. He got up and made his way forward, noticing only then the moving shadow of a person drifting across the snowy background. When he turned the corner he was in complete disbelief seeing who it was.

“Daniel?” He gasped.

The figure turned to look at him and clearly couldn’t believe his eyes either.

“Clarke? How the hell did you manage to get all the way out here?” Daniel flared.

“I honestly have no idea. How are you here?”

“I don’t know either to tell the truth, but last I checked I was on this boat alone.”

If he were honest, Jackson was pretty disappointed seeing just how upset Daniel was seeing him. He’d realized what an asshole he’d been to Daniel a long time ago, and he’d really thought this would be his chance to finally make amends with him. He also, however, completely understood why Daniel wouldn’t want to.

“Fine,” He said. “I’ll take the loss. I guess I’ll just go wait back where I woke up and maybe I’ll end up home again.”

Without another word, Jackson turned right back around and did just what he said he would. He didn’t take into consideration just how cold it was as he sat and waited, before long he was curled up and shivering. He listened to the waves as he waited, thinking about what could’ve turned Daniel since he’d last seen him. Jackson thought he’d finally come around since he didn’t kill him, but then again, maybe he just didn’t want that blood on his hands.

“I guess I can’t really blame him though, can I?” He muttered to himself.

Boy was he right about that. He couldn’t help but think back to all of the times he’d treated Daniel like shit since they’d met. If he were to put them all together he’d have an entire weeks worth of video footage. The worst part was that he often didn’t even realize what he was doing. It just kept happening that he was so caught up in his own shit that…

“Hey.” He heard from behind him.

… That he didn’t even realize what was happening around him. Jackson turned to see Daniel behind him, who tossed him a thick jacket.

“It’s pretty cold out man, I’m pretty sure we're somewhere in the Arctic.” Daniel huffed, not looking Jackson in the eye.

Jackson muttered thanks in return, wasting no time before putting it on. Daniel lead him into the sheltered part of the boat where a space heater was kept so he could warm up, but the icy silence between them started to prove to be the real issue.

“Daniel...” Jackson tried breaking the silence, not quite knowing how.

“You’re an asshole, you know that?” Daniel chose for him.

“Oh yeah. That one just seems to be a given with me I guess.” Jackson let out a pained laugh.

Again he was left with nothing but a glimpse of a cold glare from Daniel, then a chilled silence.

“I’m sorry about all that you know.” Jackson reached out.

“And you should be.” Daniel retorted, leaving him hanging.

“Look, Daniel, I know I treated you like absolute garbage, but honestly I finally realized it was me who’s been the asshole. Hell, all the shit I was mad at you over wasn’t even your damn fault.” He paused a moment. “Shit, if anything, I'm the bad guy here.”

“Yea, you kinda are.” Daniel retorted, seeming to retreat again after a second. “It’s just… Well, Sean’s been there for me our whole damn lives, then suddenly he grows a ‘conscience’ and up and leaves? All ‘cause of what anyway? Some foreign twink he met like a month ago?” He finally stopped himself, looking away.

“Did you just call me a twink?”

“That’s beside the point!”

It took them a second, but they both couldn’t help laughing at that.

“But anyway,” Daniel continued. “It was just kinda bullshit man, I was pretty much left stranded there.”

“I can get that.” They stayed quiet again for a moment. “Damn, even I’d be pretty pissed with my dumbass if I’d have known that. Shit, I am. Of course my stupid twink self had to go and latch on to the first asshole who’d look my way. I guess I just really missed my childhood ‘friend.’ Then again, that bitch turned out to be some murderous psychopath anyway.”

“You’ve got some pretty shit taste in guys, huh?” Daniel joked.

“Boy, are you right about that!” Jackson laughed. “What’s that say about you then?”

“Whaddya mean by that?”

“Sean and Tobias? Same shit choices as me man.”

“Oh yeah right, I’m not gay dude.”

“Hold up, what?” Jackson stopped. “You’ve literally only ever been interested in guys as far as I’ve seen. Shit, you’ve definitely fucked at least two.”

Daniel froze up at this.

“Wh- I- That-” He seemed to be getting flustered. “Shit, I’m gay aren’t I?”

“You really need me to tell you that?”

“Well, I just- I’ve never really thought about it before. Definitely never admitted it before.” Daniel submitted.

“Really? How?”

“I don’t know, my mom’s just really against gays so I never even considered it in the first place.”

“Oh, wow.” Jackson was . “Daniel, I am so sorry…”

“Don’t be man, that one’s not your fault.”

“Still, that’s gotta be pretty damn rough. I don’t know how I could live without my mom’s support. She’s got my it comes to just about everything.”

“Must be nice. But hey, it’s not like it’s much of an issue anymore. I’d been living with my aunts since I was like fifteen.”

“Aunts? So like-”

“Yea! Man, they’re great. It’s really cool actually having an example of a normal healthy relationship in my life. Guess the psychological damage on me was already done though.”

“That’s actually incredible man! I guess it’s too bad I’ll never actually get to meet them though, they sound great.” Jackson gushed.

“Maybe you could if you ever get off this boat, let me write their address down for you.”

Jackson couldn’t help grinning at how happy Daniel looked writing it out for him on little notecard. He honestly couldn’t even remember a time when Daniel seemed happy to be around him in the first place. Daniel handed him the address and sat back in his chair.

“Man, it actually feels pretty damn nice to admit it. Now that I think of it, I don’t think I’ve ever had a connection with a chick beyond being friends.” Daniel laughed. “So what’s that mean now? Am I like… out of the closet or whatever it was?”

“Yea, I guess so.” Jackson smiled at him.

They sat quietly for a short while looking out at the snow.

“You know what?” Daniel interrupted the quiet. “I’m sorry too Jackson, for not seeing that Sean was the problem that whole damn time.”

“He had good intentions, but that fucker sure made a mess of things, huh?”

“You got that right.” He laughed. “I’ll be honest, I hope we get to see each other again Jackson, I get the feeling you’ll be out of here much quicker than I will.”

“Me too Daniel, me too.”

With that, despite having just woken up Jackson's eyelids grew heavy again, returning him to his cell with sunlight streaming in onto his eyes.

In conclusion, Daniel deserves love too.

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