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midnight-moth · 1 year

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Mushy May Day 2

Prompt: Crush & I Made this For you - Slapped together!

Rating: General

Paring: Rain/Dewdrop (sorry but also are we even surprised...)

Word Count: 1652

Thanks to @forlorn-crows for creating Mushy May!

Read it here or here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/46885693/chapters/118162390

They all teased him, relentlessly. Because they’d never seen Dew act like this before. So flustered, so awkward, so precious. When he wanted someone or something, he took it. Or at least he’d ask without saying please.

Something about the new water ghoul, his gentle demeanor, his warm smile, the way he moved, grace with an endearing dose of awkwardness. Dew caught his hand more than once as he tripped in the halls, on the carpets, in the snow.

Once, Dew didn’t make it in time, as they were trudging through the 42 centimeters that fell overnight to get to the bus. Like some kind of tragic ballet, Dew reached, he missed, he lost his balance, he fell. And Rain, he tripped over his own long feet under the snow, and fell. Dew had the benefit of his already outstretched arms to land on, Rain did not.

He fell face first into the snow, which was thankfully fluffy. There weren’t any bruises, however the snow found its way inside of his somewhat inadequate winter coat and right into his gills, packing them with freshly fallen flakes.

He leapt to his feet, fingers digging around in his coat, trying to get it out, so frantic that he tore the collar of his jacket. Dew tried to interject, offer his help, but found himself frozen to the spot, not just because of the frigid temperatures, but because his instinct was to wrap his hot hands around Rain’s neck, warm his skin, melt the ice particles now wedged between thin, sensitive flesh.

Dew realized he was being about as useful as Rain’s winter coat had been, stepping forward and gently pulling Rain’s frantic hands away, replacing them with his own. He ignored the way his stomach flipped, concentrating on warming Rain’s skin, drying the collar of his shirt, and avoiding eye contact lest his look of longing betray him. Lest the others see and taunt him even more.

“You really should get a better coat, and a scarf.” Dew advised, staring at the ground.

Rain wrapped his ice cold fingers around Dew’s hands, “You’re right.”

“And gloves.”

“Yes, although I think your hands are warmer.”

Dew looked up through a curtain of hair, Rain was giving him the same soft look he always did, even though his eyes were rimmed with red and clouded with tears.

“Are you - okay?” Dew managed to stammer out, his own self-consciousness snaking up his body and causing his jaw to almost lock itself shut. Or maybe it was the cold, his teeth were clacking together and his body was shaking somewhat furiously.

“Yes, it just really, really hurt. I don’t think that’s ever happened before. But it feels better now, thank you.”

Dew realized his hands were still pressed to the sides of Rain’s neck, fingers protecting his gills from the frigid air, and that maybe Rain’s thank you was also a dismissal. He slowly pulled his hands away, leaving pink hand prints on Rain’s pale skin.

Dew was now cognisant of the fact that they were being watched from the bus window. He scowled at the onlookers and made his way to the door, using Rain’s height and body as a shield to obscure his face, cheeks as pink as the marks he made on Rain’s skin.

There wasn’t any outright jeering, but he received a number of knowing looks, and a few sympathetic ones. He chose to sit beside one of those understanding faces on the edge of their bunk, ignoring the rest.

“Cirrus, can I ask you a favor?”

“Sure, soot sprite. How can I help?”

Dew’s voice turned to whisper, so she moved back into the bunk, Dew following as she closed the curtain, clearly she was being pulled into some kind of secret, which she absolutely adored. Especially with Dew, who’d been letting his walls fall one by one since Rain had arrived.

“Okay, so like this?”

Dew’s hands flexed and turned, for someone with such agility in their fingers, he was struggling.

“No, like this, I’ll show you again.” Cirrus pried the crochet hook out of his hands, unraveling the black yarn that he had worked into some kind of semi-circle knot.

“You make it look easy.” Dew lamented. He was grateful for the lesson, even more grateful that she suggested crocheting instead of knitting after he almost stabbed himself in the eye with one of the needles.

With the abundant spare time they had on the bus, an overnight trip in fact, Cirrus had enough time to teach Dew the basics, and enough time to ensure he could make a straight line, kind of.

“So, what’s with the sudden interest in fiber arts?” Cirrus inquired. She was perceptive, and yet she couldn’t conceive of the reason.

“Oh, just something to keep my hands busy. Thank you so much. Really.”

“Of course, I hope you’ll show me what you come up with.”

Dew tucked the balls of yarn and the hook under his arm, slipping into his own bunk and closing the curtain. He’d only made 4 rows. This was going to take a while. Even longer since he drifted off with all of it sitting in his lap.

Dew worked on it during his spare time, trying not to be obvious. Still they all noticed that he retreated to bed earlier than usual, but his light was still on.

“Dew, if you’re jacking off in there, you’ve been really quiet. I’m impressed.” Swiss teased, not entirely convinced that it wasn’t in fact what Dew was doing in there.

“Fuck off, can’t a ghoul just spend some time alone?” Dew growled.

“I mean yes, but like - usually to jack off. You need a hand?” Swiss held his out, and Dew wasn’t sure if he was joking.

“Why is it always you spewing stupid shit?” Dew scowled at him, Swiss rolled his eyes.

“Well okay then, touchy, jeez.” Swiss was indeed confused, since Dew had a penchant for crawling into whoever’s bed was closest most of the time.

“Stop teasing him.” Aether chided.

“Yeah, can’t you see - why he’s -” Mountain was cut off by Dew’s little snarl, something akin to a ghoul temper tantrum brewing.

“Shut up dirtboy,” Dew warned, although he wasn’t much of a threat.

Rain looked around, confused, clearly not in on the joke.

Mountain leaned over, whispering into Swiss’s ear.

“Ohhhh, that makes sense. Isn’t that cute?” Swiss teased.

“Adorable.” Mountain replied.

“Fuck. Off.” And with that Dew returned to his bunk, distracting himself with the thing he was trying to make. So what if they were right, so what if he had a little crush on Rain. So what if he had a big one.

Finally, 8 days later, Dew completed his project. He frowned as he held it up. It sort of resembled a scarf, in that it was long, and you could wrap it around your neck. However the width was uneven, some of the stitches were tighter than others, and the knot he made at the end to keep it all together was kind of hideous.

He debated starting over, or maybe keeping this one and making another, hoping it would be better the second time around. But the weather wasn’t any better than it had been, winter in northern Europe was always particularly brutal. And Dew saw the snow piling up as they drove to their next venue.

When the bus arrived, Dew had it balled up under his arm, waiting for an opportunity to present itself but realizing he would just have to make one. Half had made it off the bus, only Sunny and Cumulus straggling behind. And Rain, trying to make the best of the too thin wool peacoat and hooded sweatshirt he had on.

Rain was about to step off the bus but felt a tug on his sleeve. He turned around to see Dew holding on to the elbow of his jacket.

Rain flashed him a smile, so fucking handsome it made his legs weak. “I have something - if you want it.”

“Oh!” Rain was surprised, given Dew’s standoffish behavior, the last thing he expected was a gift. He moved back to the kitchen area, he and Dew backing against the wall to let the two ghoulettes pass. They said nothing, but Dew saw the little smirks painted across their faces.

Dew felt overcome with embarrassment, which was annoying, but put up or shut up he told himself. “I made this for you.” His hands outstretched, it looked like a lumpy ball. Maybe he should’ve folded it nicely. He unraveled it, so that Rain could see what it was.

“A scarf? You made that?”

“I mean - yes. I did. I know it’s ugly, but it’s still functional.”

“No, it’s perfect, I like how it’s all curly at the edges, matches the - uh - well, the gills, the ones on my ribs.”

“Oh.” Dew hadn’t seen those ones. Now he wanted to.

Rain bent over, Dew realized he was waiting for Dew to put it on him. He hooked it around the back of Rain’s neck, long enough to wind around twice and then tuck into his jacket.

Rain wormed his face into it, closing his eyes and letting out a little trill of contentment. Dew thought he would outright collapse from the overwhelming deluge of cuteness.

“Well, I hope it helps, so you never get snow in those again.”

“I love it, thank you.”

“Uh - you’re welcome.” Dew started shuffling to the door, he could feel Rain half a step behind him.

Rain leaned over Dew’s shoulder right before he descended, “It’s warm. Not as warm as your hands though. Just in case - I fall again. I’m very clumsy, you know.”

Dew felt a wash of burning red spread across his cheeks, suddenly wishing he’d made another scarf to bury his own face in. Just a crush, maybe not a small one, a very, very, large one.

#dew is a big mushy mush ball #mushy may #dewdrop ghoul #rain ghoul #I'm sorry but 99% of what I write will always be raindrop #midnight moth mushy may 2023 #midnight moth writes

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asterlark · 1 month

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life update!!!

okay so idk if i've talked about this here but i spent multiple months last fall working very hard on grad school applications and ended up applying to 3 different schools for masters programs for distance/online learning since i don't want to/can't really move for in-person school currently (also not saying what concentration i'm going for & what schools bc i'm trying not to dox myself lol)

and over the last month i've been so so anxious bc this is the time frame for the schools getting back to me on their decisions... i got one acceptance... then a notification that i was placed on the waitlist for another school & would hear back in march... then a second acceptance..... and just now i got an update from the school that waitlisted me (also my top choice!!) that i've been accepted!!!!

this is wild to me because despite so much encouragement from friends i never truly believed i could get in to all three schools i applied to, i'm so used to expecting rejection that i'm still somewhat in shock but also so so excited and grateful and just AAAAAA

this is a lot to process since i'm simultaneously experiencing heavy grief from losing two people important to me over the past few months, but i'm trying to remember that life really is just joy and pain jumbled together in a big chaotic mess and it's okay (even necessary!!) to feel every horrible and beautiful and terrifying thing all at once

getting great news amidst feeling so much pain and grief is confusing and scary even as it's incredibly exciting, and i'm trying to have grace for myself to feel all the things i feel without judgement or shame. i AM proud of myself though and i am starting to feel like the hard work i've put in (and am still putting in) in therapy & in rebuilding my life in general is paying off in how i treat myself & have hope for the future even as i feel so desperately sad.

if you're also going through it i am sending all my psychic beams of caring energy your way, and if you're also trying to celebrate something or find moments of joy while the rest of your life & the world are on fire i'm strapping on a little party hat and celebrating with you. we CAN and WILL get through this and there is so much joy to come and cool people to meet and cute animals to pet!!! hold my hand we'll go there together!!!!

#mine #personal #did this personal life update devolve into being mushy about life and having hope for the future?? mayhaps #anyway im excited!! im terrified!! im sad and grieving and happy and lonely and love my community and all of the things mushed together #if you're also feeling a lot rn i love you and we're gonna be okay #❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

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