may i request five hargreeves x reader who acts like harley quinn 🥺🫶
i hope you like this! i tried to nail her personality but thank you for the request!! <3
Massacre | F. Hargreeves
pairing: five hargreeves x female reader
wc; 1.3k
warnings: violence, cursing
synopsis: partners in crime or partners for life? take downs with five are always fun… for you at least
requests: CLOSED
Masterlist | Taglist | Prompt list
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You look around you, twirling your hair around your finger with a frown. “I can’t believe they picked here out of all places. We could’ve gone to like Los Angelos, Dubai somewhere fun!”
Five sighs. “We’re not here for fun, (Y/N). We’re here on business.”
You pout a little more, sticking out your bottom lip. “Oh c’mon, you can’t tell me some part of you is not itching for the thrill of killing the board.”
“I’m doing this for my family.” There’s a short pause before he adds. “And you.”
You smile, “Aw, aren’t you just the sweetest!”
Five rolls his eyes, strolling into the building and smiling at the lady. You, on the other hand, find yourself engulfed in the scenery. Particularly the cat and rabbit statue. You had a feeling it was coming home with you as a souvenir.
“Excuse me?” Five asked.
“Uff da! You snuck up on me there,” The woman gasps, eyeing the two children in front of her. “If you’re looking for the cookies, we don’t put ‘em out til three.”
“Cookies?” You ask excitedly. “Oooh, what type?”
“She can hardly wait,” Five said, a little strain in his voice. “Uh, do you happen to know where the midwest soybean society is meeting?
“Sure do! Muskellunge banquet room. You looking for your mom? She in the convention?”
You look around absentmindedly, boredom settling in, and you decide to walk around. Or well, you tried before Five grabbed your hand and pulled you right back next to him. You sigh in defeat, crossing your arms.
“Hey, could I get some change?” Five asked, eyeing something just over the lady's shoulder.
“Oh sure, I’ll just look in my purse,” she chirps, unzipping it and digging around. “Only a nickel and a couple of dimes… oh, you are in luck, mister!”
She grabs the change and drops it in Five’s hand as you begin tapping your foot against the floor in annoyance. You were dying to get in that room and create a bloody massacre. It felt like it had been forever since you got an assignment. Which it kind of has been since you and Five left the commission.
“You know, some say the best luck is to die at the right time,” Five remarked, walking away.
You grin at the lady. “So let’s hope today’s not your lucky day.”
She blinks at you, a frown marring her features, and you just shrug, skipping up to Five.
He slips in the change, pressing a few buttons and waiting.
“So you weren’t gonna ask me if I wanted anything?”
“Sorry, did you want kiss my ass or fuck you?”
You gasp, slapping a hand against your chest. “Well, now that’s not very nice of you.”
“I’m not exactly in a nice mood, my dear.”
He huffs when his fudge nutter fails to fall towards the slot. His hands ball into fists, and he begins punching and kicking the machine, uttering curses the whole time. You just let him do his thing. The angrier he is, the more fun the massacre.
The vending machine shatter and Five angrily stomps off. You push yourself off the wall, grabbing a fudge nutter and tucking it in your pocket to give to him later. You follow after him, watching as he swipes a finger across the cake. He likes the icing off his finger, grabbing an ax by a table and waiting for you.
You grab a fistful of cake, licking the rest of it off your fingertips and cocking your head at Five. “Sorry, did you want any?”
“(Y/N).”
You giggle, grabbing the other ax and twirling it in your hands. “C’mon, baby boy, let’s have some fun!”
Five kicks the door open, holding his ax in hand while you smile.
“You!” AJ exclaimed, slamming his hands down on the table. “Call security!”
Before the lady can, you swing your ax through an arc in the air and watch as it cuts clean through, and she slumps to the ground. You let out a loud cheer. “Let’s get this party started!”
“What are you doing?” AJ yells as Five teleports to the other side of the room, and the massacre begins.
You throw your ax at the person closest to you, watching as their head falls to the ground. You brush off the blood on your shoulder before grabbing the ax and resuming pace. You stand back to back with Five, laughing the whole time, as you send your ax into various heads, blood splattering everywhere. One tries to grab you, and you gasp. You shove the ax straight through their chest. “That’s no way to treat a lady!”
You survey the room, blood drenching the table and your clothes. You stand next to a group slumped in their chairs, one missing his head, the other’s throat slit open, and your ax stuck in the back of the other’s head. “Photo op!” You squeal.
“She sent you, didn’t she?” AJ asked as Five appeared in front of him. You yank your ax from the back of the man’s head, using your finger to wipe off the brain matter before standing by Five, leaning on the said ax.
“Does it really matter now?” You said with a fake pout. "Poor little AJ. A stupid, little goldfish I could eat for dinner."
“What ever she offered you, I will double it, triple it!” AJ begs.
Your eyes light up. “What are we talking? I could really go for—”
Suddenly a body tackles you to the floor, and you scream. “Get off me, you pig!”
“You’re gonna for that vending machine, little miss,” The lady shouts as you thrash in her grip. You roll your eyes, it wasn't even you!
“We don’t want to hurt you,” Five said, appearing behind her.
“I do. In fact, I’ll enjoy carving the eyes out of your head and feeding them to my cats," You snarl.
“Hurt me? Oh, I ain’t afraid of you, you little pus ball,” she sneers.
“All right, that’s it. Hands off her.” Five lands a hard kick across the lady��s face, and she lands next to you unconscious.
He offers you a hand, pulling you to your feet. “My dear.”
“Where did AJ go?” You asked, ignoring Five’s lingering gaze on you.
“Shit!” He groans.
“He’s a fish, Five. He didn’t get far.”
You grab your ax off the ground while Five runs out of the room. As expected AJ isn’t even halfway down the hall. Five teleports right in front of him with a shit-eating grin.
“This isn’t your style Five,” AJ begins. “Doing the Handler’s dirty work?”
Five shrugs. “No, you’re right. It’s hers.”
You step up, ax hanging off your shoulder. “Hiya there, AJ!”
“Surely, we can come to some sort of agreement that benefits both parties. Quid pro quo? What do you say?” He asked, stumbling back.
“Why not?” Five said, grabbing a piece of wood.
“Here’s your quid,” He shouts, slamming AJ’s stomach, “here’s your pro!”
“No, please, please, no!”
“And here’s your quo!” You laugh, driving the ax into his glass bowl and watching as the fish flops on the ground.
You let him suffer just for a few minutes before Five grabs a bag full of water and slips him in.
“Well, that was fun,” You said cheekily. “It’s just like the old days. Honestly, this might be my new favorite mission.”
“Is that so?” Five said bitterly.
You poke Five’s cheek. “Don’t be so glum. I know you enjoyed that.”
“I did what I had to do.”
“What you were trained to do.”
Five clicks his tongue but says nothing more.
“I just think the blood-drenched outfit suits you. That’s all, baby.”
Five sighs and stops in his tracks, facing you and your bright eyes. He tucks a piece of hair behind your ear and wipes some blood from your face.
“We’re going home now, (Y/N).”
You just smile. “Home is wherever you are.”
If there wasn’t blood covering Five’s face, you might’ve said he was blushing. You reach into your pocket and hand him the fudge nutter. He chuckles but takes it.
“You know you drive me insane, right?” He asked.
“Only in the best kind of way.”
Five just hums his agreement.
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