#must have self control

[firstkanaphans]

You can tell Mew’s dramatic ass was raised by lesbians because instead of just getting angry like a normal person, he spent his whole birthday party plotting and then waited to drop the bomb until Top was half naked and horny. What a king

#only friends the series #the self control that must have taken #i love him to death

[uncanny-tranny]

Whenever people who are entrenched in diet culture talk about how terrible chemicals are, I just want to whip out this:

#diet culture #diet culture tw #described images #image description in alt #'it's got CHEMICALS in it' and so do you! and me too! IT'S ALL CHEMICALS ALL THE WAY DOWN #instead of running from this world we must learn to embrace it #i'm not particularly angry at people who say this because it makes me think that they're incredibly invested in diet culture... #...i just don't want the whole 'food = bad' or 'bodies = bad' to go unchallenged... #...part of the reason why diet culture seems just as prevalent now (if not moreso) is partially because it isn't really... #...challenged or questioned without provocation. it's just assumed to be correct because it makes you 'feel in control' #when chemicals are bad you can control what chemicals you consume. it's individualistic and places the blame onto you for 'being good' #it places responsibility onto the person in such a way that it becomes impossible to fulfill #it isn't that i'm upset that people want to treat their bodies in a way they think is responsible... #...moreso that the *way* they go about it ensures that they're stuck in a cycle of self-blame and even self-hatred #because the METHOD is ineffective. not the desire to treat your body well #also the state of ohio looks stupid and i do Not respect it #it looks like a ball that is simultaneously deflated and over-inflated #also their state flag looks silly to me #it looks like the person who was making it fell asleep making it #i'm just clowning on ohio at this point. have never been to ohio but. are you guys okay

[brittlebutch]

actually it's kind of funny how people will say Alex's fatal flaw is that he 'doesn't ask for help' and that it's his determination to handle things on his own that leads to his deterioration and eventual death when his whole introduction to the present-day timeline was a very literal cry for help that simply went ignored

#N posts stuff #like even if you think alex was lying throughout the entirety of season 2 and he was waiting from the Moment jay showed up #JUST to kill him (Which again i don't think makes much sense when he could have killed Tim & Jay immediately instead of #breaking Tim's leg. anyway) EVEN IF alex spent that whole time lying it doesn't actually change the fact that he would have at least #been Pretending to Ask For Help and if he wasn't lying then he was Literally Asking For Help and it doesn't Actually matter #what intention Alex had because the text is Ambiguous about Alex's honesty during season two; what isn't ambiguous is the way #other characters (specifically Jay) respond to him; like yeah - S2 Brian/Tim were never in one million years going to help Alex with shit #so sort of any argument that brings up Tim as someone who asks for/offers help is borderline meaningless in this era of the series #Jay had the 'opportunity' to help Alex (and i'll get back to that in a sec) but DIDN'T - Jay wasn't Interested in actually offering Alex #'help' bc Jay is ultimately curious about Answers and 'Offering Help' and 'Getting Answers' are two Wildly conflicting goals #Jay thinks Alex has answers and when Alex doesn't Offer these 'Answers' to Jay on a silver platter Jay gets pissed off and paranoid #and starts Stalking Alex bc he thinks it's 'Suspicious' that Alex won't give him the Answers (that Alex probably doesn't Actually have) #ANYWAY. ultimately this post is about how it's absurd when people argue #that individual character choices could have made a difference in the way this series played out - specifically wrt Alex #because EVERYONE in this WHOLE series are being affected by influences outside of their control ; including Brian Tim and Jay #so it's silly when people are like 'if ALEX had just made a different choice For Himself this could have all been avoided' WRONG. #bc Ultimately there's not really a way to 'help' someone else out of this situation - Tim tried and failed Repeatedly #the comics proved he even failed with Jessica - like MH isn't a horror situation where you can kill the big bad #'getting help' is a meaningless argument - what would successfully helping or getting help even look like? anyway. #the sub argument of this post is that Alex's biggest 'sin' is that he doesn't perform emotions the way other people want him to #like Alex is a character with a kind of flat affect - instead of LOOKING scared or grieved he LOOKS bored or angry #and everyone judges him based on that - so Alex is 'Suspicious' he's 'Lying' he's 'Guilty' but all of these deductions are predicated #on the belief that Alex isn't reacting to his circumstances the way a 'Normal' person would - so it MUST all be an act and so he's guilty #so everyone treats him like he's guilty until the end of season two when he's like 'Fuck it FINE i'll be guilty then' and so it goes #not a self-fulfilled prophecy but being Cornered Into a prophecy and then Blamed for it - SAD. anyway

[the-implications]

I've watched the entire hatchetfield trilogy at least once a day since i first finished it and it's Also the only thing i listen to rn. i don't know what to do with myself anymore. all i can think about is hatchetfield

#i've had some pretty intense hyperfixations before but for some reason this one is hitting different #like i need to convert all my irls into hatchetfield fans now #i even briefly considered telling my PARENTS about it #which thank god i have some sense of self control because my parents are worse than grace chastity's.... #anyways im sure im not the only one goin thru this #hatchetfield #hatchetverse #tgwdlm #the guy who didn't like musicals #black friday #nerdy prudes must die #npmd

[galaxy-of-me]

HIS EXPRESSION. UGH

#original posts #grepre #great pretender: razbliuto #the self-control it must have taken him to not say anything of importance to her. after he had basically just saved her life #like he already lost the battle of not trying to talk to her at all #i have to wonder whether or not her being involved in this was planned. tho i suspect it was a con that he planned not realizing she had #any sort of connection to it #bc how would he have predicted her sleeping w the boss’s son. LMFAO #also like yes obviously he looks hot. but that is more a fact than a statement that it’s not worth drawing attention to #hate this man fr /j

[alexiethymia]

[book spoilers]

Lockwood’s idea of a grand gesture is to be more of a fool than usual, more death-defying than usual, to make sure that Lockwood & Co. was always on front page news because if Lucy was the best then Lockwood & Co. could be nothing less than THE best agency to deserve her, to get her to return. And no, he doesn’t stop there. He may not have asked you to return on bended knee like you wanted Lucy, but like any proper gentleman caller he couldn’t come to your door empty-handed. He brings THE case, that one case that Lucy could never refuse coming from Fittes herself. I bet he spent all those four months searching for that one case. Because see the plan was always for her to return and Lockwood has always been an end-justifies-the-means kind of guy. And the way he gets her on board speaks a lot about his own character and how well he knows Lucy.

Lockwood has always been slightly manipulative and he uses the full force of that skill during that reunion with Lucy. Every move was calculated. From his suit he wears like armor, each one carefully chosen. An old coat that reminds them of a case they worked on together, an immaculate new suit (Really? Just to hire her again?), and to top it all of, a tie which Lucy specifically gave him. He catches her off guard, he doesn’t give her time to get her bearings. He knows asking her outright to return wouldn’t work. Even if he did beg, that already failed when he ended up so angry that he left Lucy behind in that cafe (the fact that Lockwood who prides himself on being a gentleman could leave a girl, and Lucy of all people, shows that his emotions were completely haywire that day). In other words, Lucy’s stubbornness proved stronger than his own. So he had to change tactics. He had to make sure that her returning would be all her idea, that she would return all on her own.

Because see, he didn’t need a case to see her. He could have visited at any time after they didn’t have closure when Lucy snuck away in the dawn to leave. He could have normalized ties between them and remained friends even as Lucy was now a freelance agent. But he didn’t. He made sure they didn’t have closure. He didn’t even acknowledge her leaving because to do otherwise would make it final. On Lucy’s end I think she wouldn’t have minded if they could be friends and talk casually together again. She wanted it. But that’s not what Lockwood wanted. He wouldn’t have been satisfied unless Lucy was back home with them. Like a jilted lover, he needed a grand gesture to draw her back in.

So he does everything. He lies. “I wouldn’t ask you again to return.” “It’s just a one-off.” “One night, two max.” But and even though Lucy couldn’t fully see through him, what they really meant, she did pick up on signs of him fraying and unraveling. The uncertain smile that was simultaneously just for her and was shades paler than his usual gigawatt smile, the slight bitterness that she was willing to work with other agencies but not his, that studied nonchalance as if he wasn’t keeping track of her progress and whereabouts the same way Lucy tried not to follow news of Lockwood and Co., the deflection, deflection, deflection.

He doesn’t answer properly regarding Holly because he still thinks she might have had something to do with Lucy leaving.

“George didn’t like it.” This is his mixing up of I and we tendency again but way worse. For him to use George to say that she was missed was egregious because couldn’t he just say that he missed her? Or even we missed you, we didn’t like it [the idea of replacing you]. It wouldn’t be so strange. He is as much her friend as George. Unless her leaving cut him more deeply. And we know he represses that sh*t. So he doesn’t even include himself in the equation anymore maybe because he thought it would make Lucy uncomfortable because not even him losing control of his emotions, being exposed and raw could get her to stay. Or at least that’s what he tells himself when in reality he’s fortified his barriers once again. He made himself open for Lucy, all the anger he’d kept tightly locked inside, and still - she left. So he can’t even talk to Lucy anymore without using someone or something as a conduit, projecting himself because he can’t expose himself to that sort of vulnerability again until he accomplishes his goal. So yeah there’s plenty of bitterness on his part, but what trumps that, always trumps it and his pride (because I’m sure part of him expected that Lucy would come back earlier on her own so he was just waiting and when that didn’t happen because see in a contest of wills Lucy’s would always trump his own, he’s weak when it comes to her, he’s the one who comes to her instead) - is that base desire for her to just come back.

#lockwood and co #locklyle #lockwood & co #anthony lockwood #lucy carlyle #see this is why I like manipulative characters #but ouch the angst #he was desperate by that point #you can’t tell me he didn’t have a plan a to z #everything is muted from lucy’s perspective because she always downplays everything lockwood does to or in relation to her #except at least she picked up his tendency to be self-sacrificial for her #but of course she turns it around and assumes it’s entirely her fault because she can’t control her emotions #when you know lucy it could be that it’s lockwood who can’t control his emotions #when it comes to you #see this is why I will not survive if there isn’t a second #(and hopefully third and fourth best case scenario four seasons) #because I desperately need to see that cafe conversation from outside lucy’s pov #because if that’s the way she described it #then lockwood must have been livid and entirely heartbroken #which doubles the angst when you consider what they went through this first season #and while he may have been aware of his feelings for lucy this first season #I think he took the stupid stupid route of thinking he wasn’t good enough for her #which is why he sort of stays away during the events of the hollow boy as to not burden her with his feelings #which unfortunately also contributed to lucy feeling that perhaps she did have to leave #when that was the last thing he wanted he never meant or even wanted for her to go #there is so much angst in the hollow boy and the creeping shadown #they already tripled the angst with the first season #if we get the second season focusing on these two books with perhaps a mid season finale at the point where lucy leaves the agency #I will not survive the angst #but I still need it

[skibasyndrome]

my productivity is seriously gonna suffer if all my fave authors keep updating all my fave stories on weekends like this 🥲💜

#I went to bed super late reading the latest chapter of Känsla last night #and now I wake up to Is It Over Now and Incognito Mode and Little Light (in a way) being updated????? #after having read the penultimate chapter to IION as well as the new chapter of Royally Whipped on Friday?????? #y'all are the fucking best I love all those stories so much gaaaaah what a treat <3<3<3<3<3<3 #but also: my self-control is nearly non-existent. I see fic update I must read ASAP. monkey see monkey read (and monkey happy. but monkey #should maybe do some work instead hmmm) #simon.out.

[scarecrowismybabygirl]

Let’s collectively thank Christopher Nolan for creating the hottest Scarecrow ever... ...and curse him for giving us only 10 minutes of it.

#he should have been the main villain in batman begins #he probably did it on purpose to tease us #batman must have a lot of self control because I wouldn't be able to send him to jail #he's too pretty to be locked up #I'd just mind my business and let him be #jonathan crane #scarecrow #the dark knight #batman begins #cillian murphy #nolanverse #nolancrane #nolancrow #murphycrow

[dattebae]

Someone asked for Nines’ messy hair from pseuds fic and I went for a whole road trip down filthy lane 💁🏻‍♀️

#pls don’t take this down tumblr I censored it 😡 #detroit become human #dbh #rk900 x reader #rk900 nines #rk900 #dbh rk900 #myart #WEEEWWWOOO #drawing this made me realize? like?? do you guys know how HEAVY Nines must be??? how STRONG he is??? #he could literally kill her with his pinky but man’s got enough self control to be careful even under sex #also the grabby hands #the big hands #we have to stay focused sisters #WE MUST STAY FOCUSED

[27potatochips]

I am having both baby thoughts and oc thoughts at the same time..... multitasking

#The Gay People In My Head #<- gonna be my tag for my oc thoughts #cause i have no self control and Must Yell Into The Void

[oatm3al-c00kies]

born to obsess over my silly little tv shows, forced to experience finals week

#the 911 obsession must be put on the backburner #my self control wavers every day #i have 2 THINGS due the night of 7x05 this is so sick and twisted idc #911 abc #911 7x05

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

#its sort of funny. i think my medication is working pretty well. i feel stable in a way i never really have before #is it the dopamine stablizer or is it my ion channels? whos to say. it doesn't matter. but it also doesnt change some things #the ways i think and react negativly to change. but it makes it easier to deal with. i still experience this strange dispaire on the #weekends or anytime im not working. i think the oddest thing is thst i dont think ive ever been this consistenly sad #not in a depressed sort of way. just a passing thoughts make me tear up sort of way. it doesnt feel out of control. it just feels like a #prelude to grief i guess. bc my mum is still in the hospital and its so hard to kno what that means from halfway across the country #my sisters are both home right now. they both live within 3hrs of where we grew up. one sister lives in the city my mom goes to for #treatment. so they have the opportunity to see her more than me. i dunno if they do tho. we dont really talk. i dont kno if they're as sad #as i am. if im overreacting bc i cant physically see what's happening. what the feeling is in the room. not that she would probably complain #shes the suffer in silence type. my dad keeps texting us pics of our shitty lil sunroom that hes redoing #to make my mum a lil sanctuary. he must be sad too. its his wife. hes staying with her in the hospital rn. i dunno its so weird #when i talk to my counselor she assumes i find out info thru calls or talk to my sisters abt it and i gotta b like nah we dont really talk #i get my info thru text. i havent talked to my parents on the phone in like a month. i dunno we just dont talk. so i dont kno how to reach #out and be like yo so whats up? shoulf i plan on coming home this summer for a bit?? like??? #this is the disadvantage of leaving thr place where you grew up. probably when i finish my phd i should move closer to home #somewhere in the Appalachian mountains maybe. somewere in the eastern deciduous forrest. somewhere with thunderstorms. #but thats years from now. who knows what ill b doing. for now im just sad and tired and i dont quite kno what to do in the short or long #term bc im feeling the weight of my mental limitations rather intensely. but maybe im just being self limiting #whatever. i dont have a dead mum yet. shes not even on hospice care. things are just uncertain and dont look so hot #i just dont see how it can get better from here when chemo gave her secondary blood cancer and shes still full of tumors #i dont think im being that dramatic. it just objectively seems not great for survival #unrelated

[dennisboobs]

ok at the point now where looking at an image of dennis makes me want to smash my head through a wall

#ada speaks #idk how ppl exist in this fandom who don't feel bad for him tbh #which is the last thing den wants bc being perceived as weak and pitiable is devastating to him but #chasing this mfer down to give him a hug #he is so. fucked up. he has been fucked up by every adult in his life. #i think the fandom perceives him as this spoiled rich kid who had it better than most of the gang but the reality is #he was failed just like the rest of them and it's almost worse because he doesn't – and almost CAN'T – recognize this #letting the protective ego-boosting and boasting drop leads to him having to confront SO much baggage and i don't think he is mentally able #i think he DOES know deep down that everything is a lie and he has been hurt because we see that self awareness in ptsdee and tends bar #but his relationship with everyone in the gang is so strained that i don't think he would be able to have a moment like charlie did in s15 #even in tends bar there's a moment where they all recognize something is going on with him but immediately place him at the center #because he's the problem with him. anything done to him is his fault. it's not only something he reinforces. the gang does too #this must be because *dennis* has no feelings and he hates valentines day because everyone else is unlike him which makes *him* mad #the entire gang has an issue placing blame on themselves but to not even be able to conceive of dennis being hurt by them is. telling #because he's inhuman to them. it's how he's propped himself up and yet simultaneously hopes that they will see through that act #the way he reworks things in his mind so that everything is a consequence of his grand plan #means that he is always at fault regardless of whether he brushes the blame off #so he is not a *victim* of anyone else. because this was all under his control. he wasn't raped because he was initiating it. #klinsky was His Conquest. he was fourteen and she was in her fifties but he forced himself on her so that makes it His Fault. #it was a two way road. he's fourteen. and he 'entered' her. he's fourteen. but she was uncomfortable with his advances. but he was fourteen #cw csa mention

[hows-my-handwriting]

Is This a Bad Dream? (spiderverse!LN au)

so..... i have this.... au... right........

lets be real i have too many aus

its Little Nightmares but Spiderverse characters.

BEFORE YOU VOTE: read below the cut i just want to make this intro part short lol. whats below the cut is very long btw so. you have been warned XD

SO. with the recent (not so recent anymore but at the time it was recent lol) announcement of ln3 i lost my mind and went back to watch playthroughs of ln2 and got my googily little gears turning.

im thinking about this very much like an actual little nightmares game if not a little longer than the average game. (eg. 10 chapters instead of the usual 5). the main playable character is miles, and your party is the rest of the kids, mainly gwen, but with pav and hobie to help with puzzles or specific skills.

concept designs for the party + margo and peni. (might change miles and pavitr's designs cuz not sure i like them.

i have most of the bosses figured out and the general pace and timeline of the story but setting and the final two bosses are giving me problems.

anyway here's an excerpt:

It was always night time. 

Miles could sit in his window and watch the sky all day, but it would always stay dark. The lights outside were bright enough so he could see, but the sky was always gray. Or sometimes black. He leans against the glass sometimes just to try to see the sky clearer. 

Sometimes the sky would come down to him. The clouds would crawl out of the sky and walk on the streets with footsteps that sounded like the pitter patter of his own little feet. It would walk on the roof sometimes too. He could hear its feet stomping on the sharp shingles. He wondered if it hurt. 

The ceiling would cry if the sky stomped on it too much. Drops of water would run out of the holes in the white paint and into the buckets littered around his room. There were only two, one was empty right now, the other was full. They were lovely little things- well, they were actually quite big. Miles climbed inside them sometimes, perfectly sized to curl up on their rounded bottoms. 

He drank his house’s tears sometimes. He got thirsty a lot, even though he never really left the room. He would sometimes get a little tray from the lady in the wall. She came up every so often and gave him a tray with some food and a glass cup full of water. 

She was a nice lady. She didn’t talk though. So he didn’t either.

He never left his room. She had her own door, but every time he tried to follow, he couldn’t open the door. There was a bigger door. He remembered at one time, people had come out of it. They would use their large warm hands to lift him up onto the big bed in the corner. They would pat his head and tuck him in with the warm blanket and fluffy pillow. They would speak to him too, in words he didn’t understand. 

He remembered long brown hair and kind eyes. He remembered a stubbly beard and warm smile. He remembered feeling warm when they were looking at him, feeling like he could stay where he was forever. 

But that was a long time ago. He gave up on counting. He had started counted the times the sky went dark. The lines were scratched into the post at the foot of the bed. When those lines filled up all the space, he started counting the times the ceiling cried. But he lost track. 

He was lonely now.

He couldn’t reach the big door. No matter how hard he tried. He tried jumping for it. He tried to climb up the wardrobe leg. But he never got high enough. So he stayed. He stayed on the floor of this room, watching the water fill up the buckets again and again. 

The walls were covered in color. Miles drew all over them. He had crayons that the lady in the wall had brought him one time. It was a big box, filled with more colors than Miles could name. He drew on the dry wallpaper, filling all of the gray space with shapes and scribbles. He had filled up all of the space he could reach, wearing down so many of the crayons down to their paper wrappings. So he moved to the floor. He filled up the floor too, drawing himself adventures that took him far away from the crying house. He drew himself running up to the sky and giving it hugs whenever it cried. 

The floor was full of color too now. 

He sat on the window that was nailed shut, and listened to the footsteps of the sky. He was happy here. He was . . .

jazz hands.

#atsv au #little nightmares au #i dont have self control #suffer as i have suffered #i flesh out niche aus that no one cares about way too much #so now you must fall victim to my blunders #also i'll be honest gwen's is the only design i like rn #hobie is close but i think i want to change his outfit #margo's is final too but the reason for why she is that way is #for another time =w= #title up for debate too #considered 'am i dreaming' but #lmk if i should make that the title lol

[surohsopsisofclouds]

Sometimes you just gotta sit with a fact about yourself.

In other news, I am once again Thinking about the "eternal hunger" part inherent in vampirism.

#suroh rambles #sun chats #vampires #you are told that you are cursed to hurt your family and live forever #in reality you are cursed to an eternal hunger severalfold over #hunger for companionship #hunger for warmth #hunger for self control #and most of all #base hunger: you will never be full again #you will eat and eat and eat but no matter how you may grow to enjoy the meal your belly will never be full #you will always crave more #and the hunger will always come first #you can have companionship and family and richness of life #but the hunger will always be a stone your gut #a snake you must move from one hand to the other before hugging a loved one; lest they be bit. #disordered eating mention #<-because I am Focusing on it ahshsbs #(*stone in your gut)

[fisheito]

@milkeumilkeou so far i have 5/8 and the only one that has a story to it is the foxy tantrum (more on that in the tags...)

#rusted nation #i am missing numbers 2/3/6 #will extra hilarity or sadness find me in those stories :):):):):)))) we shall see #when i read the shipwreck note i just imagined #was kuya worse at controlling his form back in the day #like he was too tired by nightfall so he just reverted to his foxy self for honkshoo bedtime #but this sailor saw him and kuya threw a fit like those mythical creatures who pride themselves on their rarity #so kuya's all How Dare plebian eyes grace my vessel u must all perish for this transgression #or. wait. did kuya have fox self esteem issues back then #so was it more like someone walking into a teen's room uninvited #while the teen is trying to cover up their pimples in the mirror #so now they're embarrassed and hormonal and the only option is to lash out? #like GOD mom [drunk sailor] GET OUT OF MY ROOM!!!! *sets ship on fire* #i mean I'm glad that they survived (assuming) #but what was huey thinking... like sure kuya sink the ship doesn't matter to me either way #wait no THIRD hypothesis #kuya hates boats bc he gets seasick. not a water fox i guess #so he whines at huey and huey's like idgaf teleportation is not a thing right now and i want to tinker with these strange artifacts #while eavesdropping on the stories of all these stowaways #so kuya harrumphs and just sulks in the cabin until the sailor finds him and #ok well no that's the same story as the second hypothesis. it's just kuya getting embarrassed #and reacting with 12x more violence than he should to being discovered. #is he really so reactive? so baby? is this my vision of him? oh well