#mutterings

[thedomesticanthropologist]

The abandonment wound that turns into a deep, never healing "I want someone to take care of me" is just

So

Big sometimes

And so often we become the one who takes care of people - those of us with this wound.

The hard thing is, learning how to take care of yourself really well doesn't heal it. Learning how to ask for help when you need it doesn't heal it. Learning to live with it doesn't heal it.

Nothing really does, when that "step" in your early childhood was either missed, mishandled, or otherwise fumbled spectacularly enough to cause this kind of wound. It's hard in complicated cases too, where you were cared for in many ways but maybe not the one that mattered. Or you were cared for in ever way but inconsistently. Or it was from a source that betrayed or abandoned you, even if you were handed off immediately to someone else that took care of you. There is no wrong way to receive this wound, nor is there a competition for who gets to feel it the hardest or the deepest.

But those who have it recognize each other, I think. We do, even if we don't know what it is we are recognizing. Even if the wounds were caused in different ways, even if our stories look so very different.

"I want someone to take care of me"

It may just always be there, in some way or another. It may even be unwanted, where you can't articulate it or you become hyper independent. It may be desperately wanted and cause clinging and limerance and all those painful things. It may be witnessed and cared for and managed by someone who sees their wound and does all the 'right' things.

But it doesn't really ever leave, does it

And we find each other, don't we?

#abandonment trauma #childhood trauma #mental health #healing #thoughts #rambles #mutterings #nonsense before bedtime

[voltrohgodwhat]

Lance, singing shrilly outside Keith's door at 3AM:

Jeepers Keithers, where'd ya get those peepers? Jeepers Keithers, where'd ya get those eyes?

#so focused on irritating the shit out of Keith that he doesn't notice a murderous Pidge slowly emerging behind him with her bayard drawn #Jeepers Creepers #Louis Armstrong #Galra Keith #vld #voltron #voltron legendary defender #vld lance #vld keith #mutterings #shitpost

[redrreign]

thank you so so much foreve ri love you <3

#mutterings #dungeon meshi

[witsserviceablesubstitute]

When it comes to romance in videogames it's not that I like it any more or less than other mechanics, it's that I feel the need to be a counterweight to long-term gamers who see no value in the mechanic, especially in RPGs.

Obsidian games, for example, are extremely well written. The characters, worldbuilding, and choices are politically and socially multifaceted, but romance hardly ever features as a role-playing choice. You can kill every important npc in your playthrough and the game will compensate for those actions but you can't tell the tetchy fusspot disaster that you love him (in the first game).

Speaking of Aloth, I get the feeling falling for him was generally universal hence why he's romancable in the second game. However, even that was met with opposition. They'll say, "Why does romance matter?" They'll growl, "It's about the lore and worldbuilding!" All while screwing over every political faction in the Deadfire Archipelago to sail away on a ghost ship.

Why does romance matter in RPGs? Why does love matter. Why do relationships matter. Why do connections matter. I think that would be obvious. Why is it less of a role-playing choice for you to imagine your hero and their companion falling in love during a epic journey than killing important npc's? I don't know. I mean, romance mechanics aren't very sophisticated but they are getting better.

(This wasn't a dig at Obsidian, btw, they make very good games that I love).

#romance in videogames #mumblings #mutterings #pillars of eternity #pillars of eternity 2 #pillars of eternity 2 spoilers #aloth #aloth corfiser #obsidian games #the ghost ship is very cool

[cheir]

very old (<- october baby) but i drew moirai and yan as the twin towers for my last birthday cake

#mutterings #this goes on this blog fuck it why not

[ellie-mutterings]

I've been dipping my toes into the artist's way since the first, and I have since written about 4,000 words this month (for perspective, I wrote a grand total of 0 in december)

#its been pretty great! #would recommend #it hasnt been for my main wip #but ill still take it as a win #mutterings

[z33b]

this reminds me the bear makes me want to make a big burly chef oc…. with a beard… big hair arms… his name is ilyas… he owns a halal deli… guh… i need him

#mutterings

[heldcloud]

i support enjoying season 2 and theorizing like slay but some of these theories are giving me tjlc vibes and setting off alarm bells

#good omens #like sometimes the writing just has flaws and that's not part of the grand design #mutterings

[flowersoffrost]

I almost forgot but today is my anniversary! 3 years HRT baby!!!

#mutterings

[gardenvariety-jester]

Just saw a vape ad on here that was so low res I instinctively thought it was a meme

#ads #tumblr #mutterings

[voltrohgodwhat]

Lance: Coran, what's the Altean word for 'bisexuality?'

Coran: Why, that would be kv-linockxm'nar'xilta'atli

-

Shiro, much later: Hey, Allura? Pidge says you guys have a word for, 'Vague sense of existential dread based on loss of faith'

Allura, brightly: Ah, yes! We call that blob

#Altean keysmash is my favorite thing to mess around with #inverting expectations with it is even more entertaining #I am not any kind of linguist I just speak decaying Icelandic #everlasting delight watching that one compilation of news presenters trying to pronounce Eyjafjallajökull #vld #voltron #voltron legendary defender #writing #“writing” lmao #sillyness #mutterings

[redrreign]

neon leon primetime crucifix

#mutterings #rottmnt #rise of the tmnt #tmnt #rtmnt #ninja turtles #teenage mutant ninja turtles #rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #leonardo tmnt #leo tmnt #leonardo rottmnt #leo rottmnt #crucifix

[applealone]

boobies under the snoopy t-shirt? more likely than you think !!!

#mutterings

[cheir]

ndk in almost half a month YAAY! planning to go the whole weekend - i'll be cosplaying g corp gregor, seras victoria, and moirai (not necessarily in that order, we'll see). the moirai cosplay is almost ready also :^) all that's left are some shoes and her cloak ornamentation (which is actually drying rn)

#mutterings #nan desu kan

[ellie-mutterings]

"horror" is a real landmine of word in polite company, I really got to learn how to enunciate that one

#lets say that its more of a single syllable word the way I say it #which has uh #caused some confusion #mutterings

[z33b]

i wanna play more spatoing w people i wanna draw our ocs together 😭🫶

#mutterings #splatoon