#mutterings and nonsense

[thedomesticanthropologist]

The abandonment wound that turns into a deep, never healing "I want someone to take care of me" is just

So

Big sometimes

And so often we become the one who takes care of people - those of us with this wound.

The hard thing is, learning how to take care of yourself really well doesn't heal it. Learning how to ask for help when you need it doesn't heal it. Learning to live with it doesn't heal it.

Nothing really does, when that "step" in your early childhood was either missed, mishandled, or otherwise fumbled spectacularly enough to cause this kind of wound. It's hard in complicated cases too, where you were cared for in many ways but maybe not the one that mattered. Or you were cared for in ever way but inconsistently. Or it was from a source that betrayed or abandoned you, even if you were handed off immediately to someone else that took care of you. There is no wrong way to receive this wound, nor is there a competition for who gets to feel it the hardest or the deepest.

But those who have it recognize each other, I think. We do, even if we don't know what it is we are recognizing. Even if the wounds were caused in different ways, even if our stories look so very different.

"I want someone to take care of me"

It may just always be there, in some way or another. It may even be unwanted, where you can't articulate it or you become hyper independent. It may be desperately wanted and cause clinging and limerance and all those painful things. It may be witnessed and cared for and managed by someone who sees their wound and does all the 'right' things.

But it doesn't really ever leave, does it

And we find each other, don't we?

#abandonment trauma #childhood trauma #mental health #healing #thoughts #rambles #mutterings #nonsense before bedtime

[voltrohgodwhat]

Krolia joining a Mom Forum just to troll people:

Post: "My son is in junior varsity now!"

Krolia: "That's nice. My son recently spearheaded a covert operation to take down a terrorist column, and liberated a burning planet with nothing but his squad of lesbians and a barely-functional black market cargo ship."

-

Post: "Share your pictures! Here's my child on their first day of college!"

Krolia: [posts grainy, blurry cryptid shots of Keith stalking through the desert at 3AM]

-

Post: "How do you guys teach your kids to deal with problems? We're having some bullying issues at school."

Krolia: "If they're not decimating their enemies by at least age 5, you're doing it wrong. Vrepit sa."

-

Post: "Ladies! Camping beauty tips? We're off for the weekend!"

Krolia: "Remember the S's of camouflage: Stillness, Shape, Shadow, Shine, Silhouette, Signature, and Spacing. You must adapt to resemble your environment, and disrupt your presentation to the enemy. When disguising your weapon, avoid wrapping foliage or cover around the functional portions of a firearm-"

-

Post: "Creative ideas for hide and seek and tag games?"

Krolia: "Remember, when stalking a target, avoid looking directly at the back of their head, as they may be able to sense your approach."

-

Post: "Is it okay to let my son go out with his friends late?"

Krolia: "Group bonding is essential. The warriors your son spends time with will help teach him right from wrong in battle. He must learn how to operate within a small unit."

#she'd get banned #then Pidge would constantly help her create alts regardless of IP ban because she lives for watching Krolia go off #other Paladin moms read from the sidelines equally gleeful and disturbed #Keith finds out and bruises the bridge of his nose pinching it #mom no #marginally insane thoughts #headcannons #dubious quality #vld #voltron #voltron legendary defender #vld krolia #vld keith #shitposting #military-adjacent nonsense #I'm so sorry it's a weird time #mutterings

[ruuinxs]

uhhh something something saiki kissing akechi to shut him up without thinking and when he pulls back he tries to brush it off but akechi is just a little lad and is blushing and dumbfounded and it’s the one time he’s ever been quiet and saiki kinda feels smug about it and who’s to stop him from kissing him again? something something

#and that is all from me #logging off to go to the airport now #akechi blushes so red it’s adorable #and then he smiles really wide and starts muttering maybe #talking about how he didn’t expect his first kiss to go like that but he’s delighted #and how he’d considered all the different ways to confess to saiki and couldn’t choose because saiki would’ve already known because of #his telepathy so what was the point but he still wanted to do it #and he’s relieved saiki finally kissed him because it was honestly getting hard to decider if saiki liked him back or not and he usually #knows how people feel about him ANYWAY #so it was a relief and then they kiss some more #and akechi is smiling against saiki’s lips and it’s stupid and they’re stupid #wow im homosexual #touma akechi #akechi touma #saiki k #akesai #saiki no psi nan #saiki k nonsense #the disastrous life of saiki k #saiki kusou no psi nan #tdlosk

[tennispilled]

just saw challengers i think the main takeaway is don't take ur tennispilled friend to see challengers they will be soooo annoying

#i went with a nontennis friend and i swear whenever something tennisy happened i was muttering #muttering whenever theres a banner of a real player or about the shots the characters are playing that sort of thing #trying to place the characters into real life #like if art donaldson won 5 grand slams between 2010 and 2021 i think is the timeline that puts him up there with the big 4 #and like the whole arc of competing in a challenger made me think of berrettini #many thoughts #nonsense tag #challengers 2024 #ostensibly

[bogbees]

absolutely fascinating when dead characters get insane ammount of love and their ships are the most popular ships in that fandom.

this is NOT ab white boy of the year eddie munson. this is ab Rengoku Kyojouro who i still can't believe is so popular his face is on a plane. fire boy set Japan's heart ablaze and they haven't stopped caring since. absolutely amazing

#bogs' muttering #see rentan ain't popular in the west for an understandable reason but also like hot damn the east fucking loves that ship #i love that ship #it's perfect in every wat #it's got my dead guy quota and a speech ab the heart (ish) and and and one guy's flower is sunflowers!! #coal selling in the mountains with a big happy family contrasting with a long line of flame symbolism with a miserable family #coal to fire to sun god fuck it makes me insane #they're both the eldest son!! they're both virgin nerds bc of it!!! they both understand loss of a loved one!!!!! #I'm so unwell I've been unwell since at least mid july fuck me #they live in my brain rent free #fuck they're even best friends as descendant reincarnation!!! smiling and laughing together!!!!!!!!!! and their ancestors were bffs!!!! #rengoku is fire bc his ancestor knew Tanjiro's ancestor the sun!!! #there's so much fuckinh nonsense it drives me insane

[whimsicalcotton]

..

various eepy headcanons:

there's like. a five minute window where you can get Rachel up in the morning and she Won't take your head off but otherwise she's one of those ppl who needs caffeine + nicotine + 10 minutes to lament her existence Immediately or she'll be grumpy as sin the whole day. says she 'doesn't believe in the concept of breakfast,' and pretty much only has some if Chloe is around to pester her about it

Chloe is The Most restless sleeper. she's snoozing at 40 different angles. she's halfway to the floor. she's curled up at the end of the bed like a cat. all in the span of like half an hour. Rachel doesn't mind but only bc she sleeps like a fucking log and basically has no idea

Max will be out for all of five minutes and wake up in a rush like "damn i slept in why didn't you guys get me up" and amberprice are just staring at her like "babygirl there is something so very very wrong with you"

Rachel sleeptalks. like, entire nonsensical conversations and complete gibberish delivered with the utmost confidence type of deal. Max thinks it's cute but doesn't bring it up. Chloe also thinks it's cute and brings it up at every available opportunity

the only place Max will take a (mostly) uninterrupted nap is in the backseat of the truck while amberprice are up front singing along to whatever's on the radio. they're both aware of this and constantly coming up with excuses to go for a drive

whenever Max is having a particularly bad night due to the Paranoid Insomnia™️, Chloe will try and stay up with her. sometimes they have midnight movie marathons, sometimes they just talk for a while. Chloe never quite manages to make it through the whole night but Max appreciates it regardless

bonus: Rachel listening to pricefield comparing weird dreams over breakfast

#amberpricefield save me. amberpricefield. save me amberpricefield #image i am now afflicted with: Rachel rolling over at 3am muttering some ominous cryptic nonsense #and Max is all 'uhm Hello???' and Chloe's just there entirely unphased like 'yea she does that. don't worry about it' #they live in my brain rent fucking free. i have a Problem #'are you okay?' 'no! there are little fictional bastards in my head and they're Kissing!!' #nebular.txt #edit oh my gooooddd i never put this in the au tag. oops #marrow max tag

[theprissythumbelina]

7 Lines Tag

Thank you @illarian-rambling for the tag, it got me back to writing again!

She splashed a bit of water on her face again, and dumped a spoon of coffee grounds into the spare water to heat some coffee. After the seal was broken, silvered water quickly lost its cleansing power. Perhaps using it for coffee would make the coffee more effective. Nicolette was out of drinkable water anyway. With a cup downed and another cup in her hand, Nicolette left for the cemetery, taking care to check every window and lock before she left. The only thing that would make her day worse was for her mother to finally break free. 

Tagging @cljordan-imperium @pheita @tabswrites and @macabremoons

#a little blatant foreshadowing #I'm playing a game called #how bad can I make Nicolette's day #it is dawn and she has had: #1. no sleep #2. Mental breakdown with crying #3. stressed as hell #we are about to get to number 4 #a fight with her ex #stay tuned to see how bad it ends up getting before she's naked in the woods muttering nonsense #which is my reaction to bad days tbh #wip Mortal sparks #my writing #tag games #heads up 7 up

[jibunwo]

you cant let me near fantasy worlds i always wanna get into the science of how the magic works

#PACING AROUND MUTTERING TO MYSELF ABT THIS NONSENSE #mine

[solarpunkandtea]

Instead of a novel I could just write 500 drabbles.

#tea speaks #nonsense muttering

[thepoisonroom]

people who act like dysphoria is one size fits all and you can't like things in yourself that they abhor in themselves get bent

#i mutter this to myself every time someone tries to convince me to wear low-waisted pants to de-accentuate my wide little hips #sorry but i think if everyone could hear my thoughts about my own hips they'd be begging me to rail them #and it is what it is #personal nonsense

[shadespear]

It's raining and snowing at the same time. What the fuck.

#shade mutters nonsense #It's been snowing+raining since around lunchtime or so #and it's STILL GOING! #Swedish weather I tell ya'! #''Oh you're having fun with the warm spring sun? Well here's winter AND autumn at the same time! Never enjoy the weather again stupid!''

[voltrohgodwhat]

Cons: I'm so tired of night terrors

Pros: Know exactly what I'm gonna do to Keith next when I get my brains on correctly

#even if it's been done before #sorry buddy this nonsense has to go someplace not in my head for a bit #vld #vld keith #keith voltron #keith kogane #hurt/comfort #writing #mutterings

[theworldisabrokenbonebutitishome]

8 Shows to Get to Know Me

I was tagged by the delightful @the-marron <3 thank you <3

Now everyone, act like these answers are remotely surprising okay? ;)

Doctor Who

2. Merlin

3. In the Flesh

4. Being Human

5. Guardian

6. The Uncanny Counter

7. The Untamed

8. The Devil Judge

Oh god now I want to rewatch them all.

Tagging @dobranocka @miss-ingno @programmedradly if any of you fancy answering? the intense nervousness i get about tagging people is so fun hope it's okay?

#tumblr nonsense #mutterings into the void #look. the day i don't bring up dw is the day you need to worry ive been taken hostage. #and ofc i had to pick the most ridiculous gif possible #did i get halfway through this list and realise oh god my found family love is so fucking glaringly obvious? perhaps #why yes bbc 3 scifi/fantasy dramas that shattered my heart is a genre i am very hung up on thanks for noticing #if a show has never caused me to cry actual tears is it really worth remembering? #i like to be permanently scarred by the media i consume thanks

[my-chemical-rot]

Do you know how unnerving it is to wake up abruptly in the middle of the night finding yourself involuntarily muttering aloud “before it gets better darkness gets bigger the person that you’d take a bullet for is behind the trigger…” or “there’s a room in hotel New York City… shares our fate and deserves… pity…”

#The only waking up experience more unnerving is when you’ve been sleeping with your eyes open #Waking up without having to open your eyes is just. OOF. All around. Plus your eyes are so dried out #But it’s just everything is black and then BAM you’re awake with no like little moment of moving your eyelids to ease into the day first #It just hits you like a brick. AND YOUR EYES ARE SO DRY. #Not an intentional thing I do sometimes I just accidentally open my eyes while fully asleep my uncle does it too it runs in the family #Me & him also sleep talk a lot so you can imagine how fucking creepy that is #My dad shared a room with my uncle when they were kids & he’d come home late from baseball games #To find my uncle fully asleep but with his eyes open talking complete nonsense. And like obviously when someone’s looking at you and talkin #you immediately assume they’re talking to you. But if someone’s talking to you in the middle of the night and making zero sense #then it kinda feels like there’s a demonic possession going on or smth #These tags have less than nothing to do with the original post ignore me #I’m so tired I sure hope I keep my eyes closed the entire time I’m asleep tonight #Also hope I don’t wake up muttering fob lyrics for the third time

[bogbees]

chapter three of the hanahaki fic...

i was thinking ab shinjuro and like. could i shove those thoughts in there??

but i also have the weird curse au im hacking away at, but Shinjuro doesn't... have a reason for those thoughts. he's in there, he's got other things to do tho

and im rotating the idea of "surface of the sun" around in my head, but it'd be modern au for knowledge on what that even is, so, hmm

and i discovered a silly phantom pain soulmates au in my docs lol

i have too many thoughts ab them

#bogs' muttering #and there's a really fucking stupid succubus au too; tired college student lets in a giggolo bc he was standing in the rain wearing fuck al #what happens next will surprise you #no really it's mostly just domestic nonsense #rentan #fic forsake me not

[mossy-opal]

Mossy~

Honestly no words for how great you’ve been. So I’ll settle on telling you that you’re still adorable. And sweet. And I will go down in a flash of blue flames I guess because I will never stop telling you…

Thank you💙💙💙

First of all; I'm not cute, I'm sexy.

Second; You don't ever have to feel obligated to thank me, but you are welcome. This goes for you or anyone who reads this post, never ever ever feel like it's an obligation to thank me or whatever, because I'm not helping for that. I'm not listening to you to get something. I'll accept your thanks, but I will always reiterate, you don't have to thank me. What will be thanks enough is knowing that I've helped.

#Opal's Nonsensical Mutterings #Asked and Answered! #Ultra Simp 💌