#my Autism Membership Club Card™ gets me reward points at grocery stores and movie theaters | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

biggest-gaudiest-patronuses · 3 years

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hey the "it's ok this person is doing [weird but harmless behavior] bc they're autistic" attitude isn't actually helpful. The behavior itself needs to be destigmatized regardless of who's doing it.

I'm autistic, and:

I sure as hell don't feel like having to constantly whip out my Autism Membership Club Card™ to justify my atypical quirks to strangers. That's private medical information, actually? No one should have to choose between being seen as autistic or as a jerk/weirdo.

I don't enjoy being made self-conscious and having to wonder "if this weird thing I'm doing is wrong when allistic people do it, does that mean there is something inherently wrong with being autistic? is my 'bad' behavior excused bc I am already assumed to be a bad person, who can't help being bad?" That's ridiculous and I don't need that energy.

And what about the many people who are undiagnosed? The many allistic people who have other mental health issues? Are they just weirdos until a medical doctor says otherwise?

What about neurotypical people whose behavior is non-standard for a thousand other reasons, medical and nonmedical? HoH people with unusual speech patterns? People from different cultural backgrounds? People who just have some random weird habits, because it's actually normal to deviate from the norm in some way? At what point is someone no longer required to seek your permission to behave weirdly? Who qualifies and who doesn't?

These are absurd situations.

There's an easy solution: destigmatize weird but harmless behavior, period. People who speak, act, walk, or otherwise behave in a way you find unusual are still people (whose diagnoses are none of your business btw), and we deserve to exist in the world without you judging or punishing us. Choose your battles wisely, because I see a lot of you attacking people who are already walking wounded.

TLDR stop being a judgemental asshole and the world will be a slightly nicer place. mind your own business and let people be weird.

ko-fi

#my Autism Membership Club Card™ gets me reward points at grocery stores and movie theaters #which is weird because my autism specifically prevents me from watching movies in theaters #the grocery store thing is nice though #actuallyautistic #long post #not a shitpost #and also like...if someone's weird behavior is unintentionally bothering other people #(and i mean in a 'that is a reasonable thing to be bothered by' way not a 'this thing doesn't affect me but I'm still gonna complain' way)#then the issue isn't that it's weird. the issue is...that it's causing an actual issue. focus on that part.#and when that happens #the first step is not to dismiss that person as an inconsiderate asshole?#the first step is to politely inform them of the negative effect their behavior is having and ask them to alter it #because people aren't mindreaders and most of us (autistic and allistic alike) are sometimes genuinely unaware of these things #yes it can get awkward but politely asking someone to speak more quietly or not stand so close to you #or to change the topic or share the conversation etc #is infinitely preferable to living in a world where we exclude & abuse people behind their backs #without actually giving them helpful feedback or the opportunity to do better #it's not fair to neurodivergent people but it's also just not fair to ANYONE #if you're planning to avoid or exclude someone bc of a behavior they don't know is causing an issue...#in most cases you owe someone a polite explanation before doing that.#btw i am going to be adding ko-fi links to some of my mental health/autism posts from now on #bc I spend a lot of time writing them (bc i think it's important) but it takes a lot out of me #for instance I'm a slow writer and this post took about an hour to write and edit #and this blog is my only source of income and the main use of my time #so please be aware of that before criticizing #it really bugs me when people will say things like 'i find your posts very helpful/educational/entertaining they mean a lot to me'#and then ask why i include a ko-fi link #because... because i work hard to make this content helpful or meaningful or entertaining...#because it takes a huge amount of my time and the only income i make from it is through ko-fi...#and bc i am not consistently getting paid anything near a living wage for that... despite the fact people seem to value what i do

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