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#my apologies for posting like 30 times a day lately but as long as im here i got the energy to answer asks a LOT
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Hello everyone,
I would like to sincerely apologize for the amount of time I’ve been missing. I would like to have this post explain in detail why I’ve been gone for so long, at least in terms of writing and lack of actual posts by me.
Trigger warnings for this post: mental health talk, manic episodes, relapse, eating disorders
For starters, my mental health has been rapidly deteriorating as of late, a mix of lack of medication and untreated bipolar (not like there’s much of a treatment for it anyways ig). I’ve been going through a terrible manic episode, one of the worst I’ve ever had. Obviously with that comes lack of motivation, I love writing it lets my creativity flow in a way no other thing can, but sadly with this episode still going strong, I lack motivation for doing anything. I’ve found it very difficult to move from my bed unless I’m going to be with friends, which definitely doesn’t help with my mental health. I also have relapsed into my ED, I’m not proud of it, in fact I’m very disgusted and disappointed in myself. Sadly, things like this can’t be helped when you don’t have enough money for therapy or a mental hospital, so I am stuck dealing with it all myself, or at least without help from a professional. I also have been working more lately, so I also haven’t had much free time as is. I work part time, on average 30 hours a week, most of my shifts being 8 hours, 5-6 days a week, I know part time is a lot more free time than full time (obviously), but when you’re sleeping all day, there is almost no time between. So in my day I have maybe 3 hours of free time, which I spend with my friends to lift my mood back up from my nasty mood swings.
I once again want to sincerely apologize for being gone for so long, I know many of you enjoy my works and look forward to them, and I appreciate all of y’all support and love on my posts, but sadly I’m not entirely sure when I’ll be back, it all depends on when my motivation comes back, I guess. I will try and do posts every once in a while, but I can’t promise anything as much as I want to.
Im being very vulnerable in this post, this very well could also be a result of my manic episode, but well, it doesn’t quite matter, does it?
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sqeca · 11 months
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Zatsudan #イロハのキモチ
I apologize if the translation is not accurate
19 April 2023
I’m Okuda Iroha! 🦙
Recent events,
I thought I might talk about them a bit, so this is a relaxed and casual blog
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What I'm obsessed with these days is,
Well, rock bathing. It's lower in temperature than a sauna, and you lie down on stone slabs. But before you know it, you're sweating buckets
It feels so good, you know~ But lately, I'm starting to get into saunas too. I might have even experienced this thing called 'sei-u'!
After about 5 minutes in the sauna and 30 seconds in the water bath, it slowly cooled down and felt great. I had never been able to take a water bath before, but now I could soak my toes in the water bath! I was able to soak up to my shoulders for 2 to 3 minutes. I want to get in shape again!
Im also into cooking!
I make my own lunch today, and when I have to travel long distances, I make my own breakfast.
Also, I love naan, and recently I made it myself! Kubo-san recommended this self-made naan from Muji. It was delicious!
These are some of the dishes I've made in the past year and served them in a nice way. ⬇️
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I usually cook quite often, but I have a fatal flaw;
I'm terrible at presentation.
I have no sense for it, so I don't have many pictures to share.
The taste is delicious, but I can't take good-looking photos of it 🥺.
I can't post it on my blog, but maybe I'll share it during a chat, haha
I'm also into taking walks!
I walk for more than 3 kilometers, slowly listening to music or enjoying the scenery, and sometimes searching for new Indian curry restaurants.
I always forget to charge my camera battery, so I feel a little disappointed that I can't capture the beautiful scenery.
Walking allows me to think about many things, or even not to think about anything at all, so I enjoy it
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Well, that's about it these days.
Recommended songs.
I was asked for recommendations during an online meet & greet, but there were too many to think of right away... so I wanted to talk about it again 😌
But I'm the kind of person who, once I get into something, I listen to the same thing over and over again, so my playlist doesn't change much
What I've been listening to a lot lately is:
・New Jeans / Ditto
・MOKA SATO & DENIMS / Lukewarm
・Anna / Nemuru toki ni anata no koe wo
・CreepHyp / Boys End Girls
・Haruomi Hosono / Jusho Futei Mushoku Teishunyu
・Haruomi Hosono / Koiwa Momoiro
・GOING UNDER GROUND / Tokyo
・J_ust / will be happy
・10cm / Phonecert
I recommend all of them!
❔iroha ni kikitai no❕
Q: Since the start of Nogizaka46's messaging service, the letter feature has been added. But do you also read the comments on the blog?
A: Of course!
Q: It seems like a photo taken recently. I want to see Iroha-chan wearing glasses!
A: Come to Iroha's Nogi-me
Q: Have you heard any words recently that made you happy?
A: I was happy when someone said I was eating deliciously
Q: I would like you to tell me which Nogizaka songs you think have wonderful lyrics!
A: Boku Ga Te Wo Tataku Hou e
Q: What's something you've bought recently that you're happy with?
A: An old movie pamphlet that has a unique charm to it
Q: What is your favorite song from Under?
A: Nichijou, Namidaga Mada Kanashimidattakoro
That's all
Announcement 📢
"Cho Nogizaka Star Tanjou!" will start airing on Nippon TV from 25:29 on Monday, April 24! This time, in addition to singing, we will also perform comedy skits. We're excited and nervous. Please watch this season too!
The live streaming of the Under Live on April 27 has been decided! It will be the final performance of this tour. We've learned a lot from our seniors and have been doing our best, so we hope many people will watch it!
The drama "Koshodo Monogatari," in which 5th generation are performing, has started airing!
A new episode is available every Tuesday.
◇Lemino:
◇ひかりTV:
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This is the banana cake I brought in for you that we talked about on SHOWROOM. It looks delicious, doesn't it?
Oh, I had a particular thing about it. It's not a cake, but I wrote various emojis to avoid overlapping them with the handwritten message beside them.
I hope that the person who receives it will be a little excited! I'm glad that my co-stars and staff were happy with it 🔆
The work was created on such a wonderful set, so I would be happy if you could watch it! Oh, please watch it with warm eyes.
Alright then, bye👋🏼
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wizkiddx · 3 years
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a friendly face
a lil one inspired from seeing the recent interviews abt cherry - yes im a couple days late but am very slow. This is basically stolen and adapted from another of my stories so I don't think there's any bits left over by my dyslexic proof reading isnt that great so apologies!!! very speech heavy so sorry am trying to balance my writing more
Summary: Tom is having a hard time filming Cherry and dealing with the emotional baggage of it, so Harry recruits someone to make everything that little bit better.
tomhollandxreader
fluff and a little angst I guess?
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Harry, Tom and their driver Sian where all sitting in the car having left the set 20 minutes ago, heading back to their accommodation. Or more precisely, Harry and Sian sat in the two front seats- Harry only in the front as to allow Tom to lie down across the three back seats. He was asleep, or at least looked asleep, but Harry knowing his brother so well knew he was just wishing he was. The day had been torturous for Tom, they’d been filming a hospital sequence in which his character was heart broken. The sequence had involved him being thrown onto the floor multiple times, by a heavy handed stunt double who was not nearly as precise as those he’d worked with at ‘marvel’. Furthermore, there was also multiple scenes of him having to properly cry on camera, which although it sounds tame, is one of the hardest things you can ever ask an actor to do. At least, someone who commits half as much as Tom. For him to show that emotion, he had to go back to a place in his life where he didn’t really ever want to venture again. But even then, this character was such a fuck up, he had to do deeper.  He felt completely drained, emotionless and cold. But he couldn’t sleep, not for the guilt he felt for being short with everyone on set- he had never been like that before, he just felt like no one was respecting or understanding what he was going through. So instead he just lay on his side, facing the backs of the leather seats, arms folded in stubbornness- even if he had no idea why.
“Tom?…Tom, I know you’re awake… Look, we need to make a quick stop. You gotta come out.” Harry was actually slightly nervous his brother would just point blank refuse, even if he needed this so bad.
“I just need to get back to the apartment. Please Harry. Can’t we do it tommorrow?” The desperation dripping off Tom’s voice actually pained Harry to listen to. He knew Tom was having a crisis about how he treated everyone today, so chose to ignore his please in favour of some assurance.
“You know everyone understands… They just kept asking me if you were alright?” Harry could see the guilt radiating off Tom. It hurt him to see his big brother like this. 
“Please… I just need to get back” His small voice barely made it to the front of the car, but Harry heard it all. 
“It will take 2 minutes tops, I had a delivery but I need a hand carrying it, come on” Harry spoke as Sian turned on the indicator to pulled up next to the sidewalkpavement; the car slowing to a gentle halt. Tom didn’t reply, instead huffing as he used the head rest of the middle seat to pull himself up. Already out the car, Harry opened the door for him waiting patiently, because Harry knew he would be a hundred times better off in just a few moments. 
“What the hell have you even ordered that’s so big?” Tom sighed while ducking through the door into the cold Cleveland air, keeping his eyes on the sidewalk as Harry motioned for him to follow his feet. 
“Oh um don’t know, a good friend sent it actually” Harry tried to hide the grin that was spread over his face from showing in his voice, as he saw a very familiar head of hair running toward them.
“What friend?” Tom looked up sassily toward Harry, shortly questioning who would send Harry a parcel from England that was too big to be delivered or carried by himself. Only then, nearly 5 metres away from Sian in the car, did Tom look up to see where they were. It wasn’t the nearest post office or delivery warehouse - they were at the airport. “Harry what’s going on?” Tom questioned with a low and warning voice, skipping a step or two in order to catch up with his younger brother. 
“We’re collecting her” Harry smiled as he nodded forward. Following his gaze with eyes wide open, Tom turned forward just in time to see Y/h/c  flying over his face as he was engulfed by someones arms. Immediately sensing exactly who this was, Tom did not hesitate to wrap his arms around your waist and push his head into your neck. Smelling the familiar perfume, Tom couldn’t help but scoff, allowing a the jerky breath to leave his lungs as you arched away from the hug, cupping Tom’s face with both her hands. 
“I’ve been reliably informed you could use a friendly face” you smiled, noticing his raw emotions threatening to overtake him, so swiftly pressing just pressing your lips onto his. Seemingly frightened to move, Tom barely reacted to the kiss, so you pushed and deepened into it a little more- till you felt him relaxing against you. With that, you arched away again and smiled massaging his stubbly hair behind his left ear.
“How are you here?” He croaked staring deeply at her, switching between her left and right eye as if that somehow would confirm that this was real, not some cruel dream he was having. 
“Someone somewhere knew you were in need and bought me a plane ticket over… I’m coming home with you on monday” You grinned while  watching Tom’s eyes light up, he leaned in again to your lips instead of replying. 
“Er-cuh-huh” Harry loudly cleared his throat, causing the two to pull away from each other. “Sorry to interrupt, but Sian isn’t really allowed to stop there long sooo” They both nodded, before Tom lunged at his brother, holding him close and whispering thanks too. It was clear this was at least partly Harry’s doing, and he could never thank his brother enough.
“Umm.. as much as I’m enjoying this brotherly love we really do have to get back in the car” Harry awkwardly spoke as he almost pushed Tom off him. 
“Awww my favourite little brother being all mature” You giggled, taking your turn to hug Harry, admittedly a little shorter than Tom’s, but still with lots of gratitude.
“Please get stop loving me and get back into the car!” Harry yelled as he stormed off to Sian, leaving both you and Tom in fits of laughter. Grasping each others hand simultaneously the laughter continued as you followed Harry down the street to the car. 
Seeing you standing there; feeling your arms wrapped round his neck ; hearing your oh so sweet voice had Tom feeling…. Feeling lighter. It was as though your mere presence gave him the strength to carry all the things that were previously weighing him down like a truck. What was extraordinary though, was how it wasn’t just psychological. He literally felt his joints feel looser, he felt his body flood with warmth and he felt his heart calming down. When you’d first been getting close to each you’d had rather the opposite effect. Which was surprising because that was at the point Tom had never felt more confident - he had just returned form a avengers press tour, where naturally everyone had just loved him and played up to his every whim. He had legions of girls, some of them drop dead gorgeous where falling at his feet. And yet, when he met you it was as though he was transported back into his incredibly awkward teenage years. It was infuriating, he knew he could act cool and unbothered and smooth however as soon as you stood informant of his it was like his mind melted, filling it with utter gibberish and garble. In fact, he was plainly floored by you - how kind and pure hearted you were, how respectful and how you found hhis jilted flirting adorable and not to forget how drop dead gorgeous you are. 
It had taken a while and a hell of a lot of opening up, but over time he found the opposite happening. Your presence became something else entirely, not one that would put him on his toes and have his heart racing - more of a comfort. He slept better when you were beside him, his nerves never got the better of him if you were there to cheer him on. He could relax completely without any fear of judgement, any worry at all with you. What you had done is change the definition of something so fudemental and a given in life. You’d changed home from a place to something much more intangible. A person; a feeling; a connection. You were his home.
“Sian are we close?” You asked, turning your attention away from the two brothers annecdotes from filming, realising Sian must’ve been driving for about 30 minutes. 
“Yep just the next right I think” Sian replied gently while turning the wheel as the indicator clicked.
“Where are we going?” Tom asked, looking first at you then pleadingly at Harry- knowing he had more of a chance with his brother. 
“Well” You started and he whipped his head back round “I know it’s late and you’ve been working all day, but you have alater  10 o’clock call time tomorrow instead of 6, so this is the best night to do something. We found a driving range-with heaters” which was a very important factor since Cleveland was bloody freezing “- that we thought you’d like to play a game or two?” The massive smile in response meant you’d hit the nail on the head.
“And soz but I’m crashing the game otherwise- and no offence, but you would win waayyyy toooo easy Tom” Harry butted in and sniggered as he interrupted the lovey-dovey stares. You gasped at that in mock offence, holding your hand over your chest. 
“Oi you, Paddy has been teaching on the Holland boys days out you both missed- I’ll have you know I now am aware that you have to get the ball into the hole, not a goal as previously thought.”
The boys both groaned in unison and Y/n wiggled her eyebrow grinning, elbowing Tom slightly in the side. “Things might have changed since you left you know?”
Yet another thing Tom loved so completely about you, was how effortlessly you had fitted into his family. Honestly, none of the Hollands could imagine life without you anymore - especially Nikki, who had quite literally attempted adopting you so she officially wasnt the only female in the immediate family. Sam used you as an expert taster for all his marvellous culinary creations (even if your judgement was always the same, it was very good); Dom often ended up picking your brains about your work, he found you ‘actual proper’ job as a doctor simply amazing , where all his family had never been especially acadmeically gifted; and Paddy just plain saw you as his older sister. So it was hardly surprising at all that when two of their actual kids flew across the world , you’d been the obvious placeholder. Yes, golf was most definitely your forte - but you were enthusiastic, with a positive (if flightily misguided) give it a go attitude. 
The try-try-and-try-again attitude that never really worked … until Paddy taught you how to hit a clean drive.
“I am not joking, I am asking the lady at the desk there’s no way!” 
“Tom you are the worst looser I have ever met! I didn’t cheat, I’ve just taken up a new hobby”
“There is no way Tom… no way she can get that good” Harry huffed as he ran straight past you to catch up with Tom, making sure that you did see the harsh glare he shot him. The outrage that Y/n had beaten them both at the driving range was way worse than anything you could’ve predicted- now you sort of were wishing you’d let them win. Oh wait…. Of course you weren’t  - this was priceless. Especially their faces when you’d launched your first ball super accurately inn the centre of the second furthest away target. They had reacted as if you had just stripped butt naked, you thought; standing their jaws hanging with a look of almost fear in their eyes.
“You could see the balls land with your own eyes! Practice makes perfect!”
“Thats not fair though! It took you like 8 weeks to be like that?”
“I mean you were obviously just taught by the wrong Holland, Paddy’s a  pretty good teacher!” You smiled as your trio turned the corner and walked through reception, seeing Harry desperate to ask the receptionist but Tom just looking over his shoulder to give a hurt look to at you.
“I’m going to ban you from being closer to my brothers than me”
“I can’t help if he’s cuter then you alright?” You smirked and raised an eyebrow, as Tom stopped in his tracks and turned to face you.
“That’s it… your gonna get it” he spoke in a low voice, with a mischievous look in his eye, abruptly he launched himself at you -  barely having  time to swerve away from him and start a sprint towards the exit, giggling as you took a glance back to see Tom chasing you out, Harry quickly in tow too. 
“Your not allowed to beat me at golf!” In a jokey voice, you heard Tom yell, just as you reached the sleek black 4x4 and hurdling yourself into it. 
“I’m in the car it’s a no fight zone!” You cowered in the corner,back pressed up against the opposite door and  arms crossed to make an ‘x’ sign in front of her body. 
“That is not how it works” Tom and Harry grinned from the open door. As fast as lightning they both vaulted in and started tickling you, making you screech curses at the two of them.
“Alright alright kids, no fighting while I’m driving thats an order.” Sian calmly spoke, trying to hide the laughter from her voice, as the two men retreated and helped to pull you up from the position half on the floor that your squirming had gotten you to. 
“Get off my leg Tom… arghhh… thanks Sian, I’m sorry they’re so moody, I just whipped their asses at golf”
“You’re here to make me feel better right? Not doing a good job so far” Tom’s snide remark meant you scrunched up your nose while plugging her seatbelt in, making sure to jab Tom’s side hard as you did so.
“How did I end up sandwiched in between you two twats then?” You grinned from the middle seat as Harry just rolled his eyes looking out the window, and Tom gave you a loving smile- not able to hide his relief of your presence.
“Think it’s about a 40 minute drive you gotta enjoy” Sian smiled looking at you via the rear view mirror, to which Tom couldn’t quite stifle the yawn that escaped. 
After all he had done much more than the typical 9-5 hours work, and the golfing was an unexpected addition to the already long day. His excitement and just pure joy at having you here had made him forget about It all for a couple of hours - but now his exhaustion was catching up with him with a vengeance. Instinctively you wrapped you arm round Tom and in doing so pulled him into your side. 
“Get some rest huh?” You whispered into his forehead, and all Tom could do was reply with a weary nod, letting his eyes slip close to the constant beat of Ally’s heart. You immediately sensed Tom was properly out of it, and contented yourself looking out his window for a few minutes,  before you felt something heavy briefly whack your other shoulder. Jumping a little at the contact, you looked round to see Harry’s head bobbing side to side in a light slumber. In the midst of worry for Tom, you hadn’t realised the kid had been doing the same long hours as him. Plus dealing with Tom and being Tom’s support, which surely took it out of him. Harry had always been ‘the most important brother’ in your eyes. Just because Tom trusts him so implicitly and completely, they had an understanding only real brothers could get to but also extended far beyond blood. When you’d first been introduced Harry had been colder to you. It wasn’t personal though, he just wanted to be sure on you and your intentions with Tom because as he well knew often when people saw Tom they didn’t just see an opportunity for love. It was an opportunity for a lifestyle, for fame, for relevance. Harry took a while before he trusted you but now you were miles and miles beyond that point. So now, being at a stage with Harry where he was phoning you to come and fly out to save Tom (and him too). It was not to be taken lightly.  Therefore, you gently pressed your hand to Harrys face and pushed him to lean against her other shoulder too- hoping to cure the dark circles under his eyes a little bit too. 
You were quite content for the rest of the journey, feeling warmth radiate through your body as the two men breathed deeply and calmly either side of you. You sort of didn’t want the car journeyer to end - but sure enough it wasn’t long till Sian was pulling into the hotel entrance.
“Get you a girl that can do both, beat yo ass at golf and look after your family” Sian whispered as she handed the phone back to you, after having taken some of your favourite ever photos, the 2 boys asleep on your shoulders while you pulled a variety of different faces. Smiling back at Sian, you then sighed-knowing she had to wake the two up, given their exhaustion you didn’t really want to either. 
“Boys…boys… hey let’s get you both into bed yeh?” You spoke softly, gently raising your shoulders in order to disturb them both. Harry’s head immediately shot up, his eyes puffy and half open, but a sheepish look on his face as he realised how he was sleeping. Just responding with a smile that said it was all okay, before  you turned her attention to Tom- forever stubborn to wake up, at least nothing had changed there. 
“Come on Tom, can’t have you sleeping in the car all night” You pushed again, this time lifting Tom’s head, earning a very deep groan as his eyes slid open and he pushed against the movement. It was at this point Harry slammed the car door shut, making Tom jump out of his skin, you loosing the hope of any serene wakeup call. Rubbing Toms arm, relaxing the tension now present in his body you encouraged him once again. “Come on lets get inside mister” 
His hotel room was exactly what you’d expect for an a-lister and lead actor in a million pound film. Large, modern, squeaky clean and posh. It was almost too big to be filled by one person though, Tom had always found it a bit cold and just not cosy - why he opted to spend the majority of his down time either fast alseep or in somebody else’s company. Both of those also stopped him getting too much in his head - or more accurately in his characters head. Cherry was a weird character and from interviewing all the veterans and lengthy discussion of his past, Tom almost felt as if he had in some small way experienced what Cherry had. Felt what Cherry did. Thought like Cherry did. 
And that was a sure fire way to fuck yourself up.
Now, with you here in his room haphazardly digging through your case, if felt warmer. The cold but brilliant white lights seemed to have softened to a gently warm glow that bounced off your skin and made your figure look almost angelic to Tom. You were his home. 
“What are you waiting for?” You mused while turning away from your (now) inside out suitcase, proudly carrying her pyjamas which you had found hidden at the bottom the whole time- not the most practical packing in the world. All the while Tom sat on his bed, back leaning against the headboard and arm bent behind his head too.
“Just thinking that I need to go through all the scenes for tomorrow” A monotonous tone laced his voice, for he knew he couldn’t spend the night the way he really wanted to, safely wrapped up with you.
“Oh… well let’s go through it together then hey? We will be done in no time; but if you want we can go over them again tomorrow morning.” It was a practical suggestion, a helpful action you could implement - even if you had a feeling Tom wouldn’t just agree. Since his lines clearly weren’t the only thing on his mind this evening. 
“Yeh but everyone on set is already sick of me after today… I can’t be being shit as well as horrid” his voice was small as the memory of how he snapped at some of the extras had him cringing inwardly at himself. He shouldn’t have been that rude, shouldn’t have blurted it out, should of offered a solution rather than just critiquing.
“Hey would you kindly shut it? No one is sick of you, everyone is just ready for christmas and missing their families. Now get changed” Your soft tone turning into an imperative order, as you threw his pyjama bottoms at the him, smashing into his face before falling into his lap.
“Oi” he shouted, but followed instructions and stood up reaching round to pull his hoodie off. Stood shirtless, his side was exposed to the now changed you, the sight making you gasp and clamber over the bed to gently touch Tom’s back. You followed the outline of an impressive patch of bruising, stretching from the bottom edge of his shoulder blade all the way to his hip. 
“Tom, what the hell happened?” Whispering in fear, Tom turned round to face you, seeing your eyes watering up as you kept glancing at his back. He was littered in a variety of purple, yellow and slightly green marks on the whole of his left flank. It looked like a minor crush injury, not something a pampered actor gets after a day of filming infront of tens of people including an onset medic and health and safety risk assessor. 
“What?” Tom asked before turning to the mirror and looking back over his shoulder to see the bruises for himself. He hadn’t expected the ache to look that bad. “oh - I - er… Today the scene, I get smashed to the floor by someone and I kept doing it wrong so we had to do it lots I guess.” He looked away and down at your feet, not being able to meet his girlfriends eyes suddenly. You just nodded, trying to blink back the tears-  he had truly been broken by this role both physically and now mentally- he hadn’t even put a stop to the constant and clearly severe pain. 
“Put your stuff on” your  voice was muted, as you waited for Tom to get prepared. He turned around again and then replaced his trousers and quickly pulled a top on to hide the marks, suddenly embarrassed. In the silence the sound of his clothes dropping to the floor, then of him sitting on the bed again- throwing his legs over so now he mirrored your position - the sounds were pretty defeaning.
“I love you so much….” Barely whispering, you suddenly ripped the duvet out from under you both holding it over you as you swung a leg over Tom so you straddled him, slightly leaning over him and letting the blanket rest on top of your back.In your position you looked down in an almost scary way to his warm brown eyes. Tom swore you were literally reading his thoughts, your intense gaze absolutely crumbling any walls he thought he’d be able to hold up. Pressing a gentle peck to his lips you then whispered onto his lips, letting him feel your words as well as hear them. “ …So that’s why we are going to sleep right now and you can worry about all of that tomorrow”
“Y/n I-“
“Your safe with me.” You were not standing for his nexuses and arguments, as you slid down his body - ending with your head resting on his chest, you legs tangled with his. Once you’re properly rested you’ll learn them ten times faster than what you can now… Before you get ill I am telling you to take a break. I’m not going to let you not. So relax and-….Tom?” Ending with a whisper, you delicately lifted your head off his slowly rising chest to see your broken boyfriend already asleep; lips parted as soft snores crept through the silence. In reality as soon as you’d said that he was safe the exhaustion had completely over taken him. Desperately needing to recharge his batteries, no matter how much he had wanted to stay up and work late it could never really happen - at this point physically impossible.
“Sleep well Tom” she smiled, planting a kiss on his cheek with a sad smile.
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The next day rolled around all too quickly, but the morning was much better than any of the past couple of months because you were together. Tom, having had a solid 7 hours of sleep compared to his normal 5, was for once ready for the day. He’d gone through the script with a certain someones help in record time, and now the three were just pulling up at the set. 
“You’ve been awful quiet this car ride…” you grinned as she clasped Tom’s hand across the empty seat, making Harry turn around and give you a warning glance. Oops. In a moment where Tom went to the loo at breakfast, Harry had fully disclosed everything that had happened on set yesterday- especially the  burst of anger. So naturally, Tom was feeling nervous and scared to face everyone. 
“It will be fine I promise… and if not tell them I’m your personal body guard- no one will be rude to you if me and Harry are ready to attack” Tom let out a breathy nervous laugh, only then meeting your eyes.
“ A fly wouldn’t be threatened by you two. Harry would just take a photo while you’d check their pulse or something”
“Errrm” Harry furrowed his eyebrows as he contorted round from the front seat so Tom could see his disapproving look, meanwhile Tom was dodging your affectionate fake-slaps.
“Children we’re here” Sian sighed as she brought the car to a steady halt “and if you could get through the day without killing each other I’d appreciate it, otherwise I’m out of the job”
“Not promising anything when I’ve got these pair to deal with” Tom grinned as he opened the car door, before anyone else could retaliate.You laughed before quickly following suit, joining Tom at the front of the car and interlocking your fingers with Tom’s. Hesitating for a moment Harry took a second before unplugging and leaning for the door handle.
“You see what I mean?” Turning his head to look at Sian “It’s sickening how happy they are.”
“Yeh but your glad about it don’t lie” she grinned, before practically shooing the poor boy out her car.
“But dont tell them!” Shouting in reply, as the car was already pulling out. 
Tom’s body seemed to tense more the closer you walked to the crew tent, you could feel the way he squeezed his shoulders back and his jaw tensed and untensed. There was little you could do apart from squeezing his hand that little bit tighter - further reiterating the fact you would always always be in his corner. Perhaps the most telling about Tom’s own character was how truly guilty he felt for the way he was with the crew. Normally, he was one of the most down to earth actors around - no trace of an ego or superiority complex. It didn’t matter if you were a cleaner or head of a multimillion dollar studio, Tom would pay both the same amount of respect. He always out that completely down to his upbringing and mum and dad, but even that was being humble. He was just a good person to the core, no one saw that more than you either. It’s part of love, you see the good and the bad parts of a person and promise to unashamedly love them all. 
Just before you both had made it into the main tent, Tom was pulled away. “Oh Tom we wanted to talk to you about yesterday!” The familiar voice of Joe Russo called, as he and Anthony  ran up to Tom from his left, giving a little nod of greeting to the actor, before falling in step with him.
“Morning, I-uh I wanted to apologise actually-“Tom was cut off while you hung back off to his right, not wanting to intrude on this conversation.
“No we should. The team were all being slow yesterday, and they were making some hard scenes harder on you. We really appreciate what you are putting yourself through for the sake of the film.”
“But still I acted like a brat and I’m sorry”
“Tom” Anthony spoke up for the first time. He was a man of limited words- but whenever he spoke everyone listened. “ You are one of the best, most-dedicated actors we’ve ever worked with. We’re all overtired, run down and ready for the holidays. You’re missing your family too. It’s already forgotten… So let’s just get on with the movie?” Tom smiled, pressing his lips together to stop their kindness overtaking his emotions. Tom always felt safe with the Russo’s. They’d dealt with him when he really just was a kid actor - overwhelmed and without a clue what was happening. They’d dealt with hiM adjusting to fame and the much bigger part Marvel seemed to want him to play in the future. They trusted him with this, most incredibly complex and also personal film for them. So when they spoke and they said it didn’t matter, Tom was much more likely to agree.  Then proceeded the bro-hugs, as the men all showed they were good with each other. 
“Well lets make a motherfucking movie!” Tom exclaimed once they broke the hug and the brothers laughed at him. “Oh where-d….” He muttered as he looked round before meeting your eyes, still standing rather awkwardly a couple of meters behind them. “ Joe, Anthony you remember Y/n?” Nodding and smiling the brothers beckoned you over; both greeting you with a warm handshake. 
“Good to see you again!” You grinned and the directors responded nodding.
“We didn’t know you were coming! I would’ve made a list of all my doctor question for you.” Joe winked, knowing your pet-peeve was people asking you all their gory body questions as soon as they found out she was a doctor. You didn’t need to know about you dentists acid reflux issue, you didn’t need to know about your granny’s friend’s constipation, and you really really didn’t need to know about an old friends erectile dysfunction.
“Ha ha ha “ You rolled your eyes sarcastically “ and no it was a bit of a spontaneous trip, I just landed last night.” Throughout the whole of the exchange Anthony had taken an aloof stance, just  observing you and Tom. Observing the bright smile Tom gave you, even when you were simply making small talk. The way he looked so much healthier, well rested and just happy, in the space of a single evening.
“I’m glad you’re here” Anthony basically interrupted the conversation, addressing you then immediately turning on his heel towards the set. 
“Uhh right- get to make up we’ll call a cast meeting in a bit” Joe stammered, giving his brother a funny look before addressing Tom “ and we’ll have to have a proper catch up later.” You nodded in response, as Joe turned and did a half jog to catch up with his brother. 
“That was weird!?” You frowned as you looked up at Tom. He explained the encounter in rather simplistic terms.
“That was Anthony.”
The morning was spent with Tom doing what he does best in front of the camera. They were shooting a larger scene for the army section of the movie, with at least 100 actual soldiers as extras, all geared up in full camo outfits. It was impressive, but also gave you a chance to meet Ciara - you’d been dying to meet her since Tom told you what a laugh she was. Fair to say you weren’t disappointed at all, you guys hitting it off instantly and you going as far as giving Ciara some embarrassing Tom stories that she could wind him up with in the future. Of course though, the main attraction was seeing Tom act first hand. Every time it astounded you, even though you knew that face so completely, in all his movies he fully had you believing he was someone else. It was mesmerising and you couldn’t be any prouder. 
“You’re amazing! I seriously forgot how good you are!” You ran over as Joe Russo called cut to the end of the morning shoot. 
“Well er thanks I guess” Tom furrowed his eyebrows as you wrapped him in a hug. He’d just canned a pretty hard scene and everyone was more than ready for a lunch break. You’s been watching from behind the cameras with Harry the whole time, after Tom gave you permission to sit in his special set chair.
“Seriously I’m very…. “ Her speech broken with an impressive yawn “….very proud of you.” In thanks Tom gave you a kiss first to your nose and then lips. 
“I take it someones not adapting to jet lag?” He chuckled as he pulled away and cupped your face in his hands.
“Which I’m totally ashamed about considering I work night shifts… my body clocks supposed to be better than this” Angrily, you vented, frustrated at your own body when all you wanted to do was stays within reaching distance of Tom. Even if Tom had had the best sleep of this whole shoot last night, you’d been to over excited and enthralled just absorbing every little thing about him that you’d missed so much that you’d been wide awake the majority of the night. If you blamed you fatigue on jet lag alone, it would be an impressive lie. 
“Go take a nap in my trailer… Harry can you take her?”
“Yes master” Harry bowed down and wobbled his head sarcastically, making you giggle. 
“At least this way you get a break from him” You grinned to Tom’s brother, which Harry could only agree with. Giving Tom a parting kiss , you followed Harry away from set. It was at this point that Anthony excused himself from the monitors reviewing the footage, and approached Tom.
“Kid… that was great that scene.”
“Thanks mate, means a lot” Getting his directors approval forever reassured Tom, letting him relax his shoulders a bit as he nodded gratefully to Anthony. 
“Well it’s just truth… so your girlfriend, Y/n right?”
“Yeh that’s her” Tom nodded, suddenly a little concerned as to where Anthony was going with this. You had met the Russo’s a number of times, and it never before seemed as though Anthony had an issue with you- at least to Tom’s knowledge.
“Right well um… you know how I don’t really get involved in all this stuff…” Tom nodded, folding his arms apprehensively. “But I just thought I should say that she’s really good for you.” Tom silently breathed a sigh of relief and waited for Anthony to get to the point. “Joe told me you had a rough patch at the beginning of the year so… I don’t know our industry is hard. And harder for you and her in the spotlight… Just seeing you with her today…Don’t be afraid to take the next steps with her…Don’t let her get away.” Tom was stunned to say the least. Anthony is the last person he had ever expected to get relationship advice from. 
“I um yeh… I don’t know I hadn’t really thought about it. I mean we’ve been together for 2 and a bit years, well including the break… she means the world to me-“
“Well don’t waste it”
And that was the end of the conversation. Anthony turned to his trailer to get lunch and Tom just stood, replaying the conversation in his head. Weird to say the least. 
But it did get the cogs turning. It did get Tom really seriously considering his future. Or rather considering your future together.
And that was for certain. It was you and him, always. 
259 notes · View notes
thee-zekeyeager · 3 years
Text
Zeke after the rumbling hc’s.
not entirely what I meant when I said I’ll make a post about my thoughts but it turned into this lol. also I made tha post as soon as I posted the other one and just waited for the one like
he’d get a new identity, partially because a big part of the world (including the jeagerists) are after him and partially to kinda leave the Name of Zeke Yeager behing him. it’s a name asociated with marleys inhumane titna warfare and he just doesn’t want that naymore
I could imagine him using the last name Kruger but keeping Zeke. He probably doesn’t know about the og Eren Kruger but he could have known that Eren used the name in Marley.
Maybe he’d take the last name Xaver too, in honor of his “real” father
Now that there’s no eldians (or peple that can turn into titans) his whole ideology and purpous in life is gone. He realizes how wrong it was but still feels a little empty since hae has no real purpous after that.
he thought about ending himself a few times since in his mind the only reason for his exsistence was his euthanasia plan which isn’t needed anymore
I could imagine him just becoming a pacifist honestly. he’s finally free of having to kill so he doesn’t want to hurt anyone at all now.
He’d just move to some small village and live there in peace. The locals meet him as a very snarky but nice man, nobody there even knows the names of the former marleyan warriors so he feels safe there.
He probably wouldn’t try to reach out to anyone since everyone he cared about is dead but he could possibly reach out to Mikasa because he want’s to visit Erens grave
she wouldn’t want him to at first but they’d start exchanging letters and he’d possibly apologize (he’s not sure if genuinly or just to visit Erens grave) and talk about all the mistakes he made in his life. It’s manipulative but he can’t help himself.
He comes to Paradis once and has some exchanges with Mikasa, this time he apologizes genuinly. He knows an appologie is not nearly enough for the hell he brought over paradis and the world in general but Mikasa kinda accepts it.
He’d never really try seeking psychological help for his childhood trauma or general trauma but he’d try to heal for himself. It’s not perfect but he feels better.
more likely he’d join a support group for former sodiers, he’d make up a little cover story since there’s still a lot of anti eldian sentiment but it’d really help him open up not only about his military trauma but about his childhood trauma especially
the first few weeks after moving into the small village he woke up in hot sweats around the time he usually had to get up at in the marleyan military. It still feels weird to not be woken up as early as 5am
he sometimes get’s panic attacks if he wakes up late because he’s scared of getting punished but then he realizes he’s not a warrior anymore
the first time he ever had a genuinly free day he felt guilty the entire day for not doing anything so he starts taking long walks on his days off, that way it at least feels like he did something that day.
these walks are actuallypretty beneficial for him, they help him get a free head and relax when he’s anxious
once he’s actually able to stay at home he usually just lays in bed all day and listens to whatever is on the radio, sometimes he reads a book
maybe he’d develope a fear of small hot spaces because they remind him of the inside of his titan. Sometimes he sleeps without a blanket even if it’s objectively to cold just so he doesn’t feel like he’s in the titan again
he’d probably either take any job that needs hiring or work as a teacher. He’s used to hard physical work and probably has enough knowledge to work as a teacher. Maybe he’d work in the store of an old couple that never had children and pseudo adopt him.
They’d invite him over for dinner every sunday and pester him about being an attractive man in his 30s but still not being married. They remind him of his grand parents and give him a certain sense of being wanted.
They ask him to take over the shop once their too old and he accepts.
he never imagined living past thirty but here he is in his late thirties having a whole ass little town shops and his own small house.
he’d join a local baseball club, if asked why his pitches are so good he’d say he used to play with his dad when he was younger but they probably wouldn’t believe him
most people in the village assume he’s a war veteran since he’s got what they call “war sickness” (basically ptsd) but nobody quite knows what kind of soldier he was, since he has no visibly war injuries he probaly didn’t get hurt in battle. He has marleyan accent but usually seems pretty anti marleyan if you get him to talk about politics.
Some people supect him having been an eldian because normal marleyans usually don’t serve on the front line but he doesn’t seem to want to talk about his past too much so most people leave im alone about it
Some day someone comes and confronts him, maybe a yeagerist, the old couple he helps out in the shop say he’s their son and has lived with them his entire life which amkes the person leave. Zeke suspects they know who he is but they don’t say anything so he doesn’t either.
I don’t think he has ever had any romatic relationships (he probably wasn’t allowed to as a warrior) so he’d probably be super obvious if someone from the village started coming into the shop daily and always leaves without buying something
he has to get used to injuries not healing and freaks out the first time he cuts himself. One time he breaks his arm and it feels like an eternity until it’s healed.
He needs a dog, he’s probably more of a cat person but a dog would probably really cheer him up. It’d always lay on top of him when he#s sad until he takes a walk with it. He like feeling needed and the dog knows so he makes him feel needed. (also he could have both, cats and dogs can get along pretty well!)
If he ever actually gets with someone I don’t think he’d have any bio kids. Maybe he’d adopt some because he knows what a bad childhhod feels like. Maybe he’d adopt a few kids on his own even.
Maybe he’d quit smoking, probably not as long as he’s not dealing with his trauma or gets a new coping mechanism.
he spends most of his time off work either reading or playing base ball. He also really enjoys music and might try to learn some instruments. He might have wanted to do so since he was a child but never had time to/wasn’t allowed to. He’d probably be one of the only people in the vaillage to won a radio and insist they put on in the shop
While I think he’d be lesftist in any other setting he’d probably just try not talking or thinking about politics. He doesn’t vote even though he’s alowed to now. He’s seen how politics influenced Marley and has only made bad expieriences with politics himself (Marleyan propaganda and Grishas radical Eldian propaganda)
Maybe he’d go into some tea shop on a day off and run into Levi. Neither of them says anything to the other, Zeke knows Levi can never forgive him and Levi is done with violence and just wants to keep his current, peaecful life he put’s salt in Zeke’s tea though.
54 notes · View notes
getsojaded · 3 years
Text
chemistry || calum hood
word count: 3.8k+
warnings: mentions of weed, swear words, mention of injury, food & the slightest bit of sex talk
a/n: hey twt moots ;)) anyways, this is inspired by this post! i hope u all enjoy <3
-
It was about 11 pm, and I had just finished taking an unnecessarily large amount of notes for chemistry class. With a sore, shaky hand and a vision that was starting to go blurry, I had finally finished ten pages. Who knew that there was so much information about 5 organic compounds?
I yawned in my seat, stretching my arms out and removing my glasses. I was more than thankful that I can call it a night, and walked towards my bathroom to get ready for bed, which took a good 30 minutes. It usually doesn’t take me that long, but fuck, I was exhausted this whole day. After all my skincare was completed, I walked back to my bedroom and hopped into my bed, prepared for a well deserved rest. After slouching for a good three and a half hours, comforter and pillows had never felt so good against my body. 
Just as I was about to fall asleep, I heard a loud ding! from my phone and I opened my heavy eyes, which immediately annoyed me. I ignored the first one and tried to go back to sleep, but one ding turned into six and I couldn’t take it anymore. I angrily ripped the covers off my body, sitting up right after reaching for my phone on the nightstand beside my bed.
6 New Text Messages from: calum hood
hey wyd rn
can you do me a favour
i need your help
im at this party right now and i’m about to get high as fuck but i forgot about our homework for tomorrow and i was wondering if you could do them for me
you don’t even need to make them look pretty like how you do it just take down the important shit
please
“What the fuck?” I whsipered to myself as I looked at my phone. “Who does this bitch think he is?”
to: calum hood
are you fucking serious right now
from: calum hood
please i’m really sorry LOL i completely forgot about it
i know your smarty pants finished it the second you got home please
i’ll literally buy you starbucks tomorrow morning
As much as I hated to admit it, his last text message kind of convinced me. I was a sucker for coffee, and could really stop spending money on it every morning. But was I really about to lose some more sleep just to do the party boy’s notes? I barely know this kid anyways. How’d this guy even get into college? 
to: calum hood
is it gonna be a venti
from: calum hood:
if that’s what you want, sure
I knew I was going to regret this decision, but I threw on my glasses and put my hair up once again, walking towards my desk. “I can’t believe I’m doing this,” I sighed out, opening my laptop and gathering my supplies together. I unlocked my phone, seeing that the time was 12 am. Am I doing this for coffee or am I doing this because he’s attractive and I couldn’t really say no to him? I groaned and leaned my head on my desk, texting him back.
to: calum hood
i hate you so much
get me a venti iced white mocha no whip and an extra espresso shot
actually no make that two extra espresso shots cause bc of your dumbass im staying up 
from: calum hood
i gotchu angel
thank you so much, see you tomorrow :)
“Fuck off with the petname and the smiley face,” I angrily cursed at my phone, picking up my pencil and beginning to write another ten pages of notes. 
“I hate this bitch,” I said, throwing my pencil onto my desk and slamming my laptop shut. The time was now 3:45 am and tired was an understatement for me. I crawled into bed, falling asleep almost immediatly, hoping that these 5 hours of sleep will give me enough energy to get through class tomorrow.
-
“You have got to be fucking joking me,” I mumbled, reaching over for my phone to turn off the alarm. I was definitely not a morning person, and the fact that I didn’t get at least 7 hours of sleep meant that I was not going to be in a good mood today.
I slowly crawled out of bed and began trudging towards my bathroom, seeing I had gotten a text meesage from the man himself. I rolled my eyes seeing his name pop up, opening the conversation between him and I.
from: calum hood
goodmorning!
to: calum hood
fuck off
I set my phone aside, getting ready for bed in the slowest way possible. I honestly could care less about what I looked like today, so I decided on a hoodie and sweatpants. I went back into my room and packed my bag with everything I needed, including Calum’s stupid study notes. I threw it over my shoulder, putting on my shoes and walking out the front door, into my car. Thankfully my college was not too far from my apartment, so it didn’t matter if I was running a couple of minutes late.
Parking my car and walking towards class, more and more annoyance filled my body, hoping that nobody would say a word to me, or even better, look in my direction. As I walked into the classroom, I walked towards the empty seats in the very back, choosing the one closest to the wall. I got settled into my seat, leaning the side of my head against the wall, hoping that I’d get the tiniest bit of extra rest.
“The last text message you sent to me wasn’t very nice.” I heard a voice beside me say. I opened my eyes and looked up, seeing the stupid Calum Hood. He was holding two cups of coffee - one for me, and one for him I’m assuming - and was wearing a maroon hoodie, which he actually looked really good in.
“I don’t think you deserve to have a nice goodmorning text, because you are the reason I’m in a pissy mood today, thank you very much.” I responded, taking my coffee from his hand and placing it on my desk. I reached into my bag and took the study notes I wrote for him, slapping it onto the desk beside me.
“I’m sorry,” he whispered as our professor began to speak up, indicating that class had begun. “What can I do in order for you not to be mad at me?” I turned to look at him. He had the biggest pouty face I had ever seen, which was absolutely adorable. But I’d never tell him that.
“Just shut up.” I sighed, turning back towards the board, opening my notebook and beginning to take notes. 
Not even ten minutes later, a green sticky note caught my eye as I was writing. My eyes gazed towards the sticky note, scoffing at what was written on it.
Pls forgive me :(
I turned towards Calum, who was currently well focused on the board in front of us. I lightly chuckled, knowing he was more than pretending to actually pay attention in this class.
I thought I told you to shut up, I wrote underneath his writing and stuck it back onto his desk, and continued from where I left off. I got maybe 5 words in before I saw the neon green appear back onto my desk. I can’t shut up if I’m not talking.
I rolled my eyes before crumbling the paper in my hand, looking at Calum once again. “You’re distracting me. What do you want?” I asked him, the brunette boy turning his head to me once again. 
“For you not to be mad at me.” He responded. “What can I do for you to at least smile at me? Besides telling me to shut up.” 
I stared at him with the bitchiest face I could put on, then rolled my eyes and began to take down more notes in my book. First, he makes me write ten pages for him and now he’s distracting me in class. Can he leave me alone for at least five minutes? 
“And now you’re not gonna talk to me. Fine, be that way.” He grunted. The two of went back to what to we were doing for the remainder of class.
-
“That’s all for today folks, I hope you have a good rest of your day and don’t forget to read pages thirty to thirty-five and finish questions one to twenty-seven.” Our professor said to all of the class, which resulted in me grabbing my bag and standing up immediately, wanting nothing more than to just get the fuck out of this place.
Please don’t talk to me please don’t talk to me please don’t talk to me-
“Hey wait,” Calum said and grabbed my hand. 
Fuck
“Yes?” I asked him, turning my body towards him as he let go of my hand. 
“What’re you doing the rest of the day?” 
“Nothing, why..?”
I saw that Calum had the cheekiest grin on his face after I gave him my answer. “As an apology for making you write down my notes, thank you very much by the way, along with making you angry this whole morning, how about we go get breakfast on me, and we can do our homework together, except I will do all the work, and you just copy my answers? How does that sound?”
I thought about it. One part of me just wanted to flip him off, go back home and get the sleep I missed out on last night. The other part of me was actually kind of down for that idea. Free food, free homework answers and I get to hang out with pretty boy? I wasn’t really losing anything here, huh? 
“I mean, I would say yes, but I took my car here and also I’m dressed terribly right now, the last thing I need is for more people to see me looking like this..” I trailed off, looking down at my current outfit and laughing lightly. “Babe, you don’t even look bad whatsoever right now. However, if you insist, you can go home and change and I can come get you when you’re ready. Is that a plan?” He asked in response. First angel, now babe? What is this guy doing?
“I mean.. I could do that...but-” “Pleeaaasee?” Calum cut me off, pressing his hands together, acting as if he was praying. 
“Ugh, fine, I’ll go with you! I’ll go home and get ready, and I’ll text you when I’m done.” I responded as the both of us walked out of the classroom, towards the parking lot. 
“Pinky promise you won’t cancel on me last minute?” Calum asked, extending his arm and putting his pinky in front of me as we reached my car. I hadn’t even noticed that he walked me to my car, which honestly made my heart flutter when I realized. 
“Are you kidding me?” I laughed lightly, taking my pinky and sticking it out with his, interlocking it. “Pinky promises mean everything, sweetheart. I’ll see you later.” He responded, winking at me then walking away. Getting into my car, I hit my steering wheel, squealing while I repeatedly hit my head against my wheel. “Fuckin’ angel, babe and sweetheart?! What’s next?” I asked myself, driving back to my place to get ready for this little study.. session? Hang out? Date? 
I never noticed how nervous I was to hang out with Calum until four different outfits were placed on my bed, with no ability to choose which one looked best. “Fuck, these are all terrible.” I groaned, flopping onto my bed and closing my eyes. I was interrupted by my phone ringing, seeing that Calum was calling.
“I know you pinky promised that you wouldn’t cancel on me, but angel what is taking so long?” He asked, laughing into his question. “I’m so sorry,” I groaned, getting back up and looking at the outfits I planned on my bed. “I’m having a little wardrobe crisis. I have zero idea what to wear.”
“You could’ve showed up in the hoodie and sweatpants and I’d still find you gorgeous,” He responded, making my heart flutter for what felt like the hundreth time today. This man throws small compliments left and right and it’s kind of driving me crazy. “But lemme see what you got planned out. I’ll make it easier for you.” I responded with an okay, quickly snapping a photo of the clothes that were currently on my bed. 
“Okay first off, none of these are bad at all. I think you could’ve chose any of these and rocked all of ‘em. Second, little shirt big pants is always the way to go. I say the second one.” He told me, choosing a white long sleeved shirt and the baggiest light wash jeans I had in my closet. It might’ve been basic, but Calum was right - you really can’t go wrong with a little shirt big pants combination. 
“Okay, thank you.” I sighed in relief, taking the clothes into my hands and walking into the washroom to change. “You can come now, I’ll text you my address. I’ll probably be done by the time you get here.” 
“Now was that so hard?” He asked in response, causing the both of us to laugh. “I’ll see you in a bit. Bye bye!” 
“Bye Calum, see you later.” And with that the call ended. I quickly changed into my clothes, put my laptop in my bag - along with everything else I needed - and slipped my shoes on. Once I finished doing so, I heard a loud honk outside, indicating that he was outside. 
Walking out of my house I saw Calum exiting his seat, walking over to the other side and opening the door for me. “Wow, what a gentleman.” I laughed as he closed my door and got into the drivers’ side once again. “You look great.” He told me, his eyes focused on my outfit. “All thanks to you.” I said nervously, as he started the car. “Where are we going again?” I asked him. 
“You can never go wrong with IHOP,”  He said proudly, with a wide grin on his face. “How’d you know I loved going there?” I asked him, gaining a chuckle from him in response. “Not sure if you knew this, but I’m a mindreader.” He joked, causing me to roll my eyes and laugh in response. 
Arriving at the place and ordering our food, Calum and I began to have a little conversation. It started off with an are you still mad at me? which resulted into talks about other classes, finals and parties. 
“You’re telling me you’ve never been to a party?” He asked in shock, me shaking my head as I took a sip of the water that was given to me. “Are you kidding me? We’ve been in college for what, two years, and you’ve never been to one?!”
“Yeah, in case you didn’t notice, I go to school to learn and not to party. I don’t ask people to take ten pages of notes for me so I could blaze up, unlike somebody I know,” I responded, Calum looking at me in disbelief. “I cannot believe you just called me out like that. I said I was sorry!” 
“Yeah yeah, I know. You’re making up for it with free food and free homework answers, so I decided to get over it.” I responded, laughing. “Also, when are we gonna start doing the questions?” I asked as the waiter came with both of our plates of food, thanking them as we began to eat. 
“I mean, we could go back to my place and work on it, if that’s alright with you.” Calum said, his mouth full of pancakes. “Is that your way of trying to get in my pants?” I asked jokingly. 
“You’re a fiesty one aren’t you?” He asked, with a simple nod from me in response. “Well to answer your question, no that is not my way of doing such a thing, I’d be much more smooth about it.” 
“Oh, so you think you’re slick or something?” “Nah babe, I know I’m slick.” There’s the cocky party boy that I was much more familiar with. I rolled my eyes in response.
“I’m gonna ignore what you just said.. Anyways, I am fine with working on it at your place.” I told him, getting a nod in response. Throughout the whole breakfast, we got to know each other quite well. I learned that he played soccer in highschool, but due to a torn ACL he had to quit. But because of that, he got into music and started playing the guitar. I told him that if there’s enough free time when we finished, he should play me something. He happily agreed to it, saying that I will fall in love with him after I hear his singing. I just roll my eyes at his cocky compliments about himself. 
I also got to hear his totally wild college parties that he goes to, telling me about this one time one of his friends’ houses got shut down due to the various noise complaints from neighbours down the block. “you should come join me in one”, He offers, with a “fuck no” in response from me. 
“C’mon, they’re not that bad. They’re actually really fun, and everybody’s always so nice.” 
“I literally can’t tell you the last time I got high, and the last time I got drunk it was not pretty, I’m retired from that shit.” I said, as he paid for our food and began walking back to his car.
“Oh, so you used to be rowdy?” He asked, the two of us laughing in unison. “High school me was a different story, we don’t talk about that.” I responded. “The things I would do to see that side of you. You gotta go to at least one before you get outta this place. They take a lot of stress off your shoulders for the night.” He told me as we walked towards the front door to his place, which made me laugh at the fact that he tried to make parties seem like a really good thing. A simple Maybe, was all I responded with as we got settled into his apartment, which was fairly clean to my surprise. 
We were currently sitting across each other at his dining table, the both of us reading over the textbook and him answering the questions after every section. He worked effeciently, which also took me by surprise. I underestimated this guy a lot, didn’t I?
A good two hours later, Calum had finished all the questions for homework and I had finished copying them down, thanking him for doing such a thing.
“It’s no problem. I had no idea that the notes were ten fucking pages long, you deserve a break after that- wait, you wear glasses?” He asked me, analyzing them.
“Yeah, only at home though. I don’t really like how they look on me,” I replied, taking them off and rubbing my eyes. He took them in his hands and put them back on me, smiling. “They look really cute on you, I like them.” He said, causing me to blush. “What’re you so flirty for?” I asked. Keep these compliments up and I might just fall in love with you before you even sing, I thought to myself.
“Well, with somebody as pretty as you, I gotta slip in a flirty remark every chance I get, eh?” He smirked, taking my hand, and taking the both of upstairs. “Don’t take this the wrong way, my guitars in my room.” He reassured me as we walked inside his room. He took the guitar from the side of his room, and sat on the edge of his bed, gesturing me to sit down next to him.
“Ready to fall in love with me?”
“Try me, Hood.” 
He chuckled, playing the intro to Sam Smith’s Leave Your Lover. “Holy shit, I love this song,” I whispered, watching his hands strum the guitar.
He began to sing, immediately amazed by his voice. It was so soft and raspy, I literally could listen to it all day. I closed my eyes, leaning my head on his shoulder. He laughed softly when he noticed, continuing on with the song. 
He finished playing the outro, which caused me to open my eyes and look up at him. “So, how was that?” 
“It was beautiful, your voice is so pretty.” I responded, smiling at him. “You should drop outta this whole college thing and just become famous.”
“Oh man I wish, but I think it’s too late for that.” He told me, now leaning on my shoulder, which made me want to scream and kiss him. “Did you fall in love with me yet?”
I patted his cheek with my hand lightly. “Not yet Cal, not yet. Stil kinda angry about that whole ten pages of notes thing.” 
“You’re never gonna let that go, are you?”
“Nah.”
He laughed, then took my hand and intertwined it with his, rubbing circles on it with his thumb. “What if I told you I’d be down to do this again, minus the whole ‘let me do this for you today as an apology’ thing?” He questioned, lifting his head from my shoulder and looking at me.
“What do you mean, ‘this again’?”
“I mean picking you up with a coffee before class, bothering you the whole time, getting breakfast with you afterwards, studying together, and then playing a song for you once we get too lazy to finish our assignments.” He replied with a soft smile that made my heart warm and my cheeks red.
“And what if I told you that I’d be down to do those things aswell?” 
“Well then my love, I will pick you up on Wednesday at 8:15 with a venti iced white mocha with only one extra shot of espresso, because I won’t keep you up to write more notes. After class, I’ll take us to any place you wanna go. Denny’s? IHOP? Waffle House? You name it. Then, we can go back to my place, study our asses off and then I can play you as many songs as you’d like. How does that sound?” He offered, the biggest smile appearing on my face.
“That sounds perfect.”
“Now if we’re going to be doing this... does this mean I can finally take you to a damn party?”
“Fuck off, Hood.”
118 notes · View notes
niamhuncensored · 2 years
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I posted 9,478 times in 2021
217 posts created (2%)
9261 posts reblogged (98%)
For every post I created, I reblogged 42.7 posts.
I added 199 tags in 2021
#famous post - 75 posts
#tma - 22 posts
#food - 22 posts
#youtube - 19 posts
#evolved - 13 posts
#unreality - 12 posts
#the flesh - 10 posts
#show to brother - 10 posts
#dc comics - 9 posts
#flashing tw - 7 posts
Longest Tag: 140 characters
#just to be like 'im so sorry you lost your mother. you vould have taken some great pictures with her with the moto g stylus's 48 mp cameralo
My Top Posts in 2021
#5
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An embroidery for The Eye. I tried to make the tape rolls green like eyes.
54 notes • Posted 2021-09-12 17:42:08 GMT
#4
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A knock-off double-sided embroidery for the flesh! Looks like beef and tastes like veal, if you catch my drift ;)
54 notes • Posted 2021-10-11 17:09:07 GMT
#3
Some cool things the good place did imo
Eleanor's tastes didn't change as she became a better person. If she liked messily eating chili cheese dogs and burping afterwards, then she loves it even as she debates moral particularism.
Encouraging and feeding a special interest literally saves the day!
Jason doesn't stop being a dumbass as he becomes a better person. But he still meditates.
The whole show tbh
Pointing out how complicated life has gotten. There's a good amount of "there is no ethical consumption under capitalism" in there too
Focus entirely on self improvement and not being innately good
Subsequent conclusions that anyone can improve and it's never too late to start.
Lots of great representation!
Calling P*wd*ep*e a bad person
Holding people accountable! No "I forgive the shitty things you did even though you didn't apologize because I'm a Good Person ©" here!
Everyone in Australia has an australian accent (the amount of times characters from a non-british country have a British accent...)
The way parallel stories tie into each other (I'll link a video when I get the chance)
The cg. It's not always perfectly realistic but it's always perfectly delightful
The ultimate conclusion of "just be fucking nice!"
58 notes • Posted 2021-01-01 04:46:30 GMT
#2
The idea that a self-dx'd adhd person might be harming professionally-dx'd adhd people somehow is fucking mind boggling to me. There's nothing I can think of that a self-dx'd person can use that would stop a pro-dx'd person from using it.
Coping strategies are limitless. Fidget toys are a product, not a service. You can't get medication without a prescription, but it's still not really rare. School and work accomodations are similar to the coping strategies in that they can be used by an infinite number of people. And people largely already don't take us seriously so they're not "giving people with real adhd a bad name."
Frankly I don't even care if you're not diagnosed at all. You think a fidget will help you? Go get that fidget! I recommend @stimtastic! Need coping strategies? Check out the How To ADHD YouTube channel! You deserve to work and live with convenience and comfort!
86 notes • Posted 2021-05-31 16:38:14 GMT
#1
Chocolate cake with peanut butter icing
My grandmother died from Alzheimer's today. This was her favorite recipe.
For the cake
2 cups flour
2 cups sugar
3\4 cup unsweetened cocoa powder
2 teaspoons baking soda
1 teaspoon baking powder
Pinch salt
2 eggs
1\2 cup oil
1 cup strong-brewed coffee (instant is fine)
1 cup milk
For the icing
1-2 cans white or vanilla frosting (preferably not the pre-whipped variety)
peanut butter or nut butter of choice (up to your discretion)
to make the cake
combine dry ingredients and sugar in large bowl, whisking between ingredients
combine wet ingredients in 4-cup measuring cup (or a bowl, i'm not your dad)
mix wet ingredients into dry. batter should be thin and watery
pour into baking dish, bake at 350 f until skewer in center comes out clean (cannot remember how long that takes. about an hour i think)
to make the frosting
scoop out frosting into mixing bowl
scoop nut butter into same mixing bowl
mix, preferably with beaters
to frost cake
do not remove cake from baking dish. cake is very delicate
put frosting on cake however you like
share cake with loved ones
(this is safe to reblog. I like to think a piece of Oma will live on when people make this.)
124 notes • Posted 2021-06-22 01:57:41 GMT
Get your Tumblr 2021 Year in Review →
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tangerinefluff · 3 years
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before i can freely dive back in on tumblr after being gone for a long time, i just wanted to address some asks i got during my inactivity: 
where do I start lmao. so i’m not sure if I understood the asks the way the anons intended to communicate them. could be because of a little language barrier? and im actually having trouble deciphering hate or disrespect because i have almost never in my life been hated or received serious hate in any form (i was THE good girl, on the outside that is, my entire life no one messed with bc i dont really do anything hateful like it’s just not in my nature to respond in that way 😅 anw very besides the point) so you may talk to me again if that’s not what you (anon) intended.
to the first one who said this: 
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hi! i get ur suggestion but maybe word it differently? bc that was kinda rude. first off, this one (garbage) writing is for you too. second, i appreciate the cute hearts at the end to go with the insult in the beginning 😅 (but also) third, you’re on MY blog. i mean,,, with the first words i agree? LMAO. i apologize i don’t have the best thoughts but no i won’t change things. this is literally my own space and im sharing a little of what’s on my mind and they don’t have to be useful and significant and a WOW moment kind of post to everyone lmao. fourth, you can locate the unfollow/mute button yourself. im not actually sure what writings you meant, if it’s the unrelated or personal posts/asks, or the blog-related shitty posts. and i’m not very tidy with my tags either so i’ll try harder on that! will tag unrelated texts as “garbage.text” and blog-related texts as “hq.text”. fifth, that’s what i keep my following tabs open for actually. i follow a lot of even betterrr blogs with content like mine and esppp amazing artists you should check out yk instead of sending people ask like that..haha. lastly, i hope you don’t go around sending blogs asks like this one and just filter out the stuff you want to consume yourself. let’s be careful with words bestie! (edit: also my blog now is 90% reblogged art so.... why the big issue).
candidate #2 who quoted a tag on my post and said: 
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aah what i meant there is that i am actually having a hard time remembering.. in general. (cue the victim card script) yes dramatic but i feel like my memory’s deteriorating. can’t remember names of people i just met or friends from a long time. things i just did or the phone i just put down 30 secs ago. conversations and with whom. read somewhere that it could be due to mental health problems. and i cant keep track of all the interactions here so i mess things up sometimes which is why i’m less active. and its not bc my friends here are insignificant!!! lmao. dw i remember, i have my close friends’ UNs and names listed on my notes too :D
yk i wanna bite harder than this bc im a real B on the inside and i wanted to make light of this (somehow funny to me because ik i shouldn’t respond bc it feels like twitter behavior) &&& i wanted to show off my clean record that i haven’t ever been hated before lmao until this moment that is. im just super shocked cause i’m 22 and JUST realizing, oh so this is the dangerous stuff on the internet! like i thought i could’ve avoided them because im.... literally... nice that i’m almost boring here and unproblematic and trying my best and just talking about stuff i like. bestie is not special over here.
to those who have been following me from the first (cringe) days, would know i post reallyyyy randomly. it was more original posts rather than reblogs. and i minimized on that when my following increased. there’s 4.4k amazing people following this blog in just a little over a year. so i toned down the personal stuff right away. honestly got conscious and i didn’t like it because the blog started to feel less like it’s mine. i can’t openly switch to a different content/media or just scream nonsense. i can’t answer personal asks freely. can’t interact with mutuals. then i just decided that i won’t mind anymore. as long as my post isn’t offensive and/or rude, i will post as i wish. i don’t normally engage in hateful posts because it bums me out. like a minute into reading these asks they really upset me then writing my response and letting this sit in the drafts made me think i won’t bother anymore because i could just let the asks get lost into the void and it’s not like i did anything wrong, but i guess i had a little energy today. and yes, will be turning off anon asks from here on out.
i hope this one won’t get dragged out and i’m not expecting any interactions from this because i just wanna talk about stuff i’ve been getting into lately, back to regular programming.. AAAAHHHHH!!! not sure if this will reach the anons (expected they unfollowed because that’s the smart thing to do) but I still wish them a good day/night and a peaceful tumblr experience! (^^)
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bush-viper-cutie · 3 years
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“Hermione vs. Draco” || YEAR 3 – Ch.30 (HP au)
                              Chapter List
<-- Last Chapter                          Next Chapter -->
Day posted: 11/3/2020
Word count: 3, 254
Relationship: EVENTUAL severus X oc (slow burn)
Rating: E for everyone
Warnings: none
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A/N: This is my first fan fic I’m writing mainly as a way to practice. This is a retelling of the hp books with an inserted character. Although most every character will be written about, this is mostly for the pro snape fandom. Please do not fear, although this is a severus x oc story, it is an incredibly slow burn as I do not intend for them to get together at all until after the final book events. Chapters will be posted twice a week.
This derivative work follows the events of the Harry Potter books by Jk Rowling and is intended as a fun way to practice my writing. Thank you for reading :D
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~~~ * ~~~ * ~~~ * ~~~ * ~~~
Heather sat with Harry on the grass and looked over at Ron and Hermione talking – or more like Hermione talking on and on and Ron nodding his head every once in a while – which was a huge relief. It only took Hermione apologizing and Ron was instantly all “Oh, he was only a rat. I’ll get another not so old one now, or maybe an owl – they’re much better.”
The whole class was waiting on further instruction from Hagrid besides just feeding the Salamanders dried twigs, but Hagrid was even less himself after the hearing. Harry tried talking to him during the start of the lesson, but Hagrid refused, not wanting to burst out crying in front of everyone.
The bells rang in the distance and the whole class got up, picked up their Salamanders and dumped them in the fire. Heather stayed by the fire, watching them curl up and nap while Hermione and Harry convinced Hagrid to walk them back to the castle.
“It was awful,” Hagrid croaked, holding back tears. “All those black robes… sittin’ there, lookin’ down at us. S’all my fault, it was. I kep’ droppin’ me notes an’ got all tongue-tied an’ – OH – an’ then Lucius Malfoy takes the stand an’ said his bit, an’ the committee jus’ did exac’ly what he told ‘em to do… So they… they gave Beaky a final date…”
“It’s not fair. Those doddery old fools shouldn’t be on the committee if they can be so easily scared by Malfoy’s dad.” Hermione teared up and shook her head.
Ron ran ahead and jumped on a rock at the top of the hill. “Hagrid! You can still save him with the appeal! This time we’ll all really help and – ”
“Lucius Malfoy won’t let the committee change their minds. I jus’ have tuh make sure the time Beaky has left is a good one. I owe ‘im that… s’cuse me – ” Hagrid broke off and hurried back down the hill towards his cabin.
“Look at him! The blubbering oaf.” Draco came out from behind the castle doors with Crabbe and Goyle laughing just behind him.
Heather ran up the last small hill to the castle steps and faced Draco. “Leave it alone. You may not care about Hagrid or Buckbeak but I do, and them, and so many other students. And it’s YOUR fault.” Heather jabbed his shoulder, forcing him to step back.
“Sorry, Potter. But it’s just so funny! I’ve never seen anything quite so pathetic.” He turned around to Crabbe and Goyle. “Have you?”
Harry, Ron, and Hermione had climbed the rest of the hill quickly and stopped next to Heather, except for Hermione who continued forward and smacked Draco across the face in one long swoop of her extended arm.
“Hermione!” Heather’s hands covered her mouth, not sure whose side to take now or who to be mad at. If Ron had been the one to hit Draco, Hermione would be giving him an angry talking to already.
Draco staggered back and was caught by Goyle before he could trip. He pushed off him and stood, astounded and scared at Hermione, who looked ready for another go.
“Do NOT call Hagrid Pathetic! Ever! It’s all YOUR fault you – you foul – evil – “ Hermione went for another smack.
“Hermione!” Ron caught her arm.
Heather held her back as she tried pushing them away.
“Get off!” Hermione broke free and pulled out her wand, surprising Draco and leaving him frozen in place with fear. “Don’t ever call Hagrid pathetic!”
“L-let’s go.” Draco turned and hurried into the school with Crabbe and Goyle at his heels.
“Nice Hermione!” Ron held out his hand for a high five and Hermione laughed, giving him one.
“That wasn’t very wise, Hermione.” Heather crossed her arms.
“It’s the wisest thing she’s done all year.” Harry smirked and ran from Hermione’s punch. “Save it for Malfoy!”
Heather was unamused but Ron and Hermione laughed, which was nice to hear after so many weeks of them being angry with each other. They followed Harry inside.
“I’m sorry to say, Heather, but I do hope Harry wins the final Quidditch match against Slytherin. I can’t stand Malfoy winning another thing.”
Heather re-crossed her arms. “Not forgiven. I want to win, not lose just because Malfoy’s on my team.”
Ron made a loud nose. “Oh, don’t you two start now.”
The castle corridors were full of students running to their classrooms. They jogged passed several groups of chattering fifth and seventh years and climbed the stairs all the way up to the charms classrooms. They waved to Ginny quickly as she passed them in the halls on her way to Herbology and reached Professor Flitwick’s class with minutes to spare.
“I like when we’re not late.” Ron pulled on the door and held it open for them.
Heather and Harry walked in and took their normal seats, waiting for Ron and Hermione to take the ones in front of them, but only Ron sat down a minute later.
“Where did Hermione go?” Ron looked around the room. “She wasn’t in the corridor.”
Heather looked towards the door. Several Ravenclaws and Hufflepuffs entered the class along with a few Slytherins and Gryffindors, but Hermione never stepped through. The bells rang and Professor Flitwick took his little podium.
“Now, let’s start on Cheering Charms. Everyone – wands out – we’re already into pairs – er, Mr. Weasley, pair with Mr. Longbottom – and let’s begin.”
“Maybe you should go check the bathrooms?” Harry whispered to Heather between swishes.
“And miss class like she’s doing? We’ll find her later.” Heather followed Professor Flitwick’s instructions perfectly and within minutes she was able to do a minor cheering charm, earning her praise in front of the class.
Several attempts later and she was able to perform the full cheering charm, second to a Ravenclaw across the room who always fought with Hermione for first place. The Ravenclaw gave her a look of triumph but it was Heather who took extra points for helping Ron, Harry, Neville, and the two other Slytherins in the room to complete the charm.
After class they went to lunch and split up. Heather sat at the Slytherin table and was soon joined by Draco and even more unfortunately, Pansy, Crabbe, and Goyle.
“Draco!” Heather smiled and took a bite of her ham sandwich, the mustard was extra good on it that day – although everything seemed better under the effects of a cheering charm. “Have you done anything to Hermione?”
“No.” He sat down and looked Heather up and down.
“Cheering Charm.” Heather said and Draco nodded in understanding.
His brows furrowed. “If she thinks she’ll get away with – ”
“Of course she won’t. We should tell on her. Get her detentions for the rest of the year. I mean, first your attacked by a wild creature and then by a stupid Gryffindor?” Pansy added a large glop of salad dripping in dressing onto her plate.
“Or, we can focus on winning the final Quidditch match. Gryffindor won against Ravenclaw which puts them at second place right now. If they beat us, then we tie and the Quidditch cup doesn’t go to anyone.” Heather finished her lunch and moved on to the pies for dessert, cutting off a small slice.
“What’s that go to do with Granger?” Draco pointed to his puffy cheek. “I want her to pay.”
“And she wants to see you lose. So win and rub it in her face.” She didn’t like encouraging Draco to gloat, especially not to her friends, but it was better than letting him get Hermione in trouble. The cheering charm wore off mid apple pie bite and she winced at how sweet it was. “Don’t try the pie.”
“Flint says he has a plan. A good one.” Draco tried looking confident and hopeful.
“Well. Good then.” Heather stood and left the great hall, heading into the girl’s bathroom. “Hermione?” she called out, looking under several stalls for Hermione’s shoes but there was no one there at all. She walked out and saw Harry and Ron leaving the great hall and ran up to them. “She’s not in the bathroom. We should check your common room – and before you ask. No, Malfoy hasn’t turned her into a shrimp and hidden her away or anything at all. She’s missing all on her own.”
They headed up the entrance stairs and down the main corridor. As they started up the stairs to the higher floors, Ron began listing other possible ways Draco could have gotten to her, one way involving Crabbe turning into a giant bird and swooping down and taking her into his talons. They walked up to Gryffindor tower debating the logistics of that scenario – Ron adamant that Crabbe would turn into a BIG bird because of his size and not just a regular sized bird because of the spell.
“Flibbertigibbet” Harry said loud enough for Heather to hear.
“Not so loud,” the fat lady hissed, sensitive to both Heather and possibly a very dangerous Sirius Black hearing it. “I’m changing it again tonight… Just to be sure.” She opened up.
Ron and Harry walked in through the hole While Heather stood just outside, watching them approach a distant lump of frizzy brown hair fast asleep around a tower of books. They poked Hermione awake and began talking – Hermione seemed frantic and upset.
“Hurry up!” Heather called in. “Divination is in ten minutes!”
Hermione stuffed all her books in her bag and came running out ahead of Ron and Harry. “I’ll meet you guys there! I need to talk to Professor Flitwick!” She turned and ran down the stairs towards the charms classrooms.
“She said she forgot to go.” Ron came out of the hole and crossed his arms. “But she was right behind us.”
Heather chewed on her finger the whole way up to the Divinations classroom in thought. Hermione was definitely keeping something, and she needed to know what. She couldn’t believe Hermione was actually possibly keeping a secret from all of them. It was different from her own secret about helping Draco over the summer, that time was once but Hermione has been going on with her secret all year.
They reached the ladder and Hermione joined them almost immediately, looking out of breath.
“Oh Heather, tell me you got the Cheering Charm down. Flitwick hinted at it being on the exams!” Hermione brushed down her hair and sighed with relief as Heather nodded her head.
“Of course I did. And I earned five points for Slytherin while doing so. If you think Slytherin’s going to lose the house cup, that’s one-hundred-and-fifty-five points you need to make up before the last match… And counting.” Heather smiled and climbed the ladder, ignoring Harry as he silently mocked her.
The second Heather stepped in the room she was engulfed in that familiar awful mist that made everything go blurry and hazy. She found her usual seat in the far back of the room at the table above Harry’s and Ron’s. Hermione took the seat opposite her and they all sat waiting for Professor Trelawney to appear from behind a curtain or from inside a cabinet looking all mysterious.
“Look at these crystal balls!” Ron turned to them and held it up to his face, making it look all wonky and distorted through the glass. “Thought we weren’t starting this until fourth year.”
Harry took the ball and set it down on its holder. “Shh. I was getting tired of seeing her flinch every time she saw my hands. I’m scared to sneeze in here in case it sounds like the grim to her.”
Heather laughed. “Your sneezes do sound kind of barky.”
“Shut it.”
“Well as long as crystal balls aren’t on the exams, I don’t care.” Hermione shook her head. “I can’t deal with much more of all this nonsense.”
They all raised their brows at Hermione, but before she could respond, Professor Trelawney appeared from behind the large stack of teacups in the corner.
“Good day! Good, good day to everyone.” Her voice was misty and almost sing song-y as she stepped out and addressed the class. “I was checking the Fates and had seen that the art of the Orb would be on your exams in June, and so we will begin Crystal Gazing early! I am anxious to give you sufficient practice with it.”
Hermione’s hand was up in the air instantly. “But Professor, don’t YOU set the exams?”
Ron and Harry chocked back laughs while Professor Trelawney turned away and hummed loudly.
“Crystal Gazing is a very perfected art. It takes years of practice for many capable wizards – and on the very rare occasion, those particularly gifted with the Sight, can come to see things within a matter of months. I do not expect anyone here to be able to See into the Orb’s infinite depths of wisdom on their first try.”
Professor Trelawney took her seat in her large chair and brought her legs up, crossing them under her layers and layers of skirt fabric. She looked like a monstrous creature, half pile of laundry, half human.
Professor Trelawney breathed out slowly and continued. “We shall first start …with relaxing the conscious mind while keeping our external eyes closed. …This will allow for the Inner Eye to open …and let you into your superconscious – should anyone start Seeing, please speak up!”
Ron’s head was on his table and his shoulders shook uncontrollably with suppressed laughter. Harry was biting down on his wrist and Heather was gripping her chair’s arms so tight she thought her fingers would pop off. Heather looked around and up behind her Neville caught her eye and gave her a face of such extreme confusion that she thought she’d burst out laughing. Hermione was looking like she’d just been murdered with boredom – or hoping to be.
After several not so silent minutes, they began Crystal Gazing by just staring into the crystal orbs and waiting to see anything at all. Heather cleared her mind and looked at the mist swirling and then stilling. Every time she cleared her mind the mist would swirl and then the second Hermione tutted right across from her, the mist would still.
“Would you mind keeping your tutting to yourself?” Heather sat up straight and looked deeper into the orb. The mist swirled into a large spiral, slow and steady as if stirred by a spoon. It went on for several minutes, growing slower. Heather was feeling her eyes going blurry in what she thought could be the start of a hypnotic trance as the misty swirl expanded. It sparkled slightly and the center seemed to still as the mist around it turned clockwise and –
“Tuh. It’s just mist being misty.”
“Has anyone Seen anything yet?” Harry whispered.
“I thought I had seen my Grandma, but it turned out I was just too close to the crystal,” Neville whispered back.
“Oh hold on!” Ron whispered excitedly, looking at the crystal. “I see… I see… That someone’s burnt the table cloth there with a knocked over candle.” He pointed.
Heather couldn’t help but give him a small giggle.
“What a waste of time,” Hermione hissed. “I could be studying for Charms. I could be practicing something actually useful like the Cheering Charm.”
They hushed as Professor Trelawney came shuffling passed asking students if they needed help ‘interpreting the shadowy portents within the Orbs’.
“It’s obvious what it means, isn’t it?” Ron whispered. “There’ll be loads of fog tonight.”
Heather, Harry, Hermione,and Neville behind them burst out laughing. Ron’s ears went red but he grinned wide until Professor Trelawney stopped at the bottom of their row right in front of him.
“Why are you disturbing the clairvoyant vibrations of this room? Let me see here.” She looked down into Ron and Harry’s crystal orb.
Harry looked back at Heather and she rolled her eyes, knowing just as well as he that Professor Trelawney was about to see the Grim in the mist. And sure enough –
Professor Trelawney clutched at her wooden beads. “My dear…” she breathed. “It grows closer… Nearer and nearer… the Gr – !”
“The Grim!” Hermione yelled, exasperated. “Oh of course! Why predict the results of the Gryffindor Slytherin match, or the results of Harry’s exams, or what he’ll have for dinner when you can just predict the ridiculous Grim every day.”
“They are not predictions,” Lavender Brown growled. “They are truth.”
“Not guesses,” Parvati joined in.
Hermione huffed at them.
“My dear. Since you stepped foot in my class it has been clear that you do not have what the noble art of divination requires in order to See into the beyond.” Professor Trelawney tisked. “I have never met a student whose mind is so hopelessly and irreversibly mundane.”
Heather closed her gaping mouth and looked at Hermione, who was not having a good day by any means.
“Fine!” Hermione stood and shut ‘Unfogging the Future’, cramming it in her bag. “Fine!” she repeated, swinging her bag over her shoulder. “Then I’m leaving.” She stomped across the classroom and turned. “Let me guess, next topic is flames, and with my SIGHT I predict you’ll predict THE GRIM for Harry.” She turned and kicked the trap door open and climbed down the ladder.
For several minutes the whole class was talking. Heather convinced Neville to be her partner, leaving the Hufflepuff he was partnered with alone, and Ron and Harry wondered if Hermione would come back. Heather doubted it.
Suddenly Lavender stood up and quickly found Professor Trelawney stoking the fire and adding more herbs to make the room mistier. “Professor! You saw this! You saw her leaving! ‘Around Easter, one of our number will leave us forever’! You said that first day of class!”
Professor Trelawney gave a small smile. “Oh yes, I knew Miss Granger would leave us. That is the burden of the Inner Eye… however, sometimes one hopes to have mistaken the Signs.”
The bells rang and class was over. They packed their things and headed down the ladder.
Harry leaned in to her. “You don’t think me seeing the Grim has anything to do with her seeing the Grim do you?”
Heather shook her head. “I saw that cloud Grim during your match and I haven’t ever seen the Grim in the classroom so… I would guess no.”
“Is that good or bad?”
Heather sighed and shrugged. “I really don’t know.”
They didn’t see Hermione all day after Divination, not even during dinner. Heather hadn’t heard anything about Hermione until Draco arrived late to dinner holding his other cheek in his hand.
“Easter Holidays we’re practicing EVERY DAY. I told Flint we should and he agreed.” He let go of his cheek to grab his cup and exposed his red and slightly swollen cheek.
“W…what happened there?” Heather could almost see fingers marked on his skin.
“Nothing. I heard Granger was told she was too muggle for Divination so I told her not to blame her parents for making her weaker than the rest of us and she slapped me.” He turned to Pansy who started defending him instantly.
“I would have hit you harder.” Heather decided she could let Hermione’s smack slide one last time, although she guessed there wouldn’t be any more after now. Surely Draco had learned his lesson about messing with Hermione after that second, much heavier slap. “So double practices starting tomorrow?”
“Early morning.”
~~~ * ~~~ * ~~~ * ~~~ * ~~~
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peachade · 3 years
Text
Writing Asks
thank u to sarah @soldouthaz, lily @theisolatedlily and late @tomlinvelvetfics for tagging me !!
1. describe how you first started writing and when you first posted
started in eighth grade after moving which fucked me up (i’m still to recover lmao) n i needed a distraction, reading had always helped but writing is what let me see what the root of my agony was. (im not trying to be pretentious i swear) i first started on wattpad (love hate relationship to this day) and beginning of lockdown this year gravitated to ao3 which has been my saving grace !!!
2. which of your characters do you typically resonate most closely with? do you base any characters off of yourself?
so far i’ve mostly written in louis’ pov. i’ve had to ask this question in the early stages — i resonate the closest to harry. most of my wips are harry centric for that reason. i mean, yes and no — i tend to take some part of me and fit it into the character but at the same time i don’t like seeing me on a page so yes and no.
3. where do you often find inspiration?
EVERYWHERE. mostly others’ stories be it in the way of songs, music, writing, art. usually it’s me coming across a vaguely aesthetic picture and my brain spitting out one or two random scenes and me trying to make that a story.
4. has quarantine helped or hindered your writing process?
both !!! i have new wips but also i lost a lot of motivation to do anything for a bit. school is sucking the soul out of me — it’s both easier and harder with it being online, the worst part is i can never truly feel like i’m getting a break from it. recently it’s been easier for me bc of the friends i made (ily all) it’s hindered a little bit bc i can’t go out and watch people and streetlights and the blur of cars and try to pour out that feeling into words and create something. at the same time it’s helped me gain more perspective on people and relationships which has been a massive help to writing in general.
5. do you listen to music/noise while you write or do you prefer silence?
depending on the number of classes i have/attend, my mental stability, the story and my sensitivity. i often can’t stand loud noises so there’s that but there is always some noise or the other so it’s never truly silent. i like it that way. sometimes i just play intense studying playlist on spotify and write, Lucida by Odin Sørlie and Haunted Heart by Dawn, Dawn, Dawn are my favourites.
6. what is your biggest writing pet peeve in your writing or in general?
excessive usage of the same word in mine. in general, i’m not a fan of stereotypical characters or romanticising harmful themes.
7. describe your ideal writing setup
2 am, in bed, music still ringing in my ears, three texts from my best friend about a story or about their day. under the blanket, the room smelling of chocolate or something sweet.
8. favorite time of day to write?
anytime but afternoon. those hours are for naps.
9. favorite genre to write + one you’d like to try writing in the future?
fiction? i’d love to write a fantasy au 👀
10. do you struggle with writer’s block? how do you typically overcome it?
yep yep. i just edit an old story or read my old works or other writers’ fics. i gave up trying to force myself into writing — i hated the end product and felt bad so.
11. what is the easiest part of your writing process and the most difficult?
probably the emotions? dialogue without a doubt — i dread writing it. it doesn’t come to me naturally. i can write lengths without dialogue tbh. also smut — it’s an eh eh aspect.
12. how do you come up with original characters? (if applicable)
my wonderful friends. they do dumb shit and i want to tell the world about their dumb shit so i make characters out of them.
13. what is your favorite and least favorite word?
as of now it is fucker — delightful word that one. least favourite is probably squelch — just no.
14. what is one thing about your writing that you’re really proud of and one thing you hope to continue working at?
the dreamy feeling i manage to write without a doubt !!!! dialogue and pacing. i don’t have the best dialogue or the pacing or the length for fics but i’m working on all of those !!
15. what work of yours has your favorite ‘verse/world building? how did you come up with it?
still a wip so i can’t tell you much except that it’s a proper treat. will write this once i’ve posted that fic !!
16. what font and size do you write in? single spaced or double?
*nervous laughter* the font changes from fic to fic — crush is comic sans, size 11. October was Lora, 11. Twisted in bedsheets is courier new, 11. stargazing is spectral, 11. so yeah — whatever the fic demands. single spaced !!!! except when i’m overwhelmed i do double spaces.
17. what is a typo(s) you find yourself making consistently?
I Cannot Type. if you think i can — congratulations you were fooled. autocorrect is the loml.
18. (if applicable) do you separate fic writing from fandom?
of course !!!! i basically do not exist out of my writing.
19. what emotion is your favorite to write? which is the most difficult?
pain, pining, longing. lust.
20. what is one thing you hope readers always take away from your works?
we’re all fucked up but we’re trying and trying sometimes is enough. you shouldn’t spend your life carved out around one person. it’s okay to ask for help and need a shoulder to lean on. i hope these come across in my future fics !!!!
21. what is the best and worst writing advice you’ve ever received?
bold of you to assume i’ve ever received advice.
22. which one of your works would you most want to see turned into a film/television show?
a new fic. will update the answer once that fic is out !!!!!
23. do you write scenes chronologically or out of order?
chronologically. i can’t do out of order. i do have a page full of scribbles but they are to tell me the order sjakmd.
24. how do you handle criticism?
if it’s constructive then well. no thick skin tbh. makes me feel as if i need validation from someone else on my art which isn’t necessary but my brain is wired to seek it and it’s a hassle.
25. what is the advice you would give to someone who is looking to start writing?
write everything you would want to read. write it bad, don’t worry about the quality. don’t worry about the audience. end of the day, it should be something you can turn to for comfort not something that makes you feel bad.
26. what kind of feedback on your work always makes your day?
people telling me they like my writing and it could take them out of this world for a few minutes !!!!!
27. which fic ‘verse of your own would you most like to exist in? which fic’s characters would you most like to befriend?
probably crush verse !!!! harry — his is probably the one character where i dump most of me in.
28. what do you always enjoy getting asks about/wish people would ask about more?
rant to me about anything. i enjoy talking. ask me about wips so i can take the little guilt and write more.
29. what has writing added to your life? how has it changed you?
it’s nice to let go and express things and create characters with a better situation than mine.
30. why do you write?
keep myself busy.
boost yourself + tags
1a. share the last sentence you wrote
No kissing. No flashbacks.
2a. describe the wip you’re most excited about
a little something i’m writing inspired by @brickredtoe’s art !!!!
3a. share the piece of dialogue from one of your works you’re most proud of
ok. well. from 5436 miles
“Or we could always add a trail of stars to one of those moons,” he replies, words dragged out, rolling around in his mouth.
He can see the glint in his eyes even behind his closed lids. Everything about Louis is inked and etched into every fiber of his being.
He would’ve kissed him, words pouring from his mouth into Harry’s, only half his.
He snorts. “And make it seem like the moon has a buttplug? No, thanks.”
4a. share the best first and last lines from your work(s)
both my published fics have circular endings.
5436 miles — Louis always had more stars in his eyes.
these tornadoes are for you — His heart beats in peace.
5a. link to the last fic you read.
sugary sweet by the immensely talented @soldouthaz
6a. link the last work you published
here
7a. link to your ao3 (if applicable)
wheeee
8a. someone that inspires you
taylor. she’s so so wonderful.
9a. a comfort fic/work that you’ve been grateful for this year
all of riv, sarah, ris and late’s fics. they’ve been so so comforting. Event Horizon by @mercurial-madhouse
10a. other writers that you’d like to tag!
@mercurial-madhouse @harryanthus are the only ones coming to mind atm. i’ve been up for too long apologies.
13 notes · View notes
nekoannie-chan · 4 years
Text
Charm-ed
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Pairing: Steve Rogers X Mutant! Reader
Word count: 3596 words. 
Summary: You managed to prevent Thanos from snapping, but not other events that led to victory.
Warnings: Angst, sad, actually very sad, death of a character, mentions of smut but nothing explicit, mentions of blood.
A/N: So I was watching Skins season 6 when this idea came to me, this fic is a little bit based on that season.
Flashbacks are in italics.
The note is in italics and underline.
Phone calls are in italics and bold.
The prompts are in black, italics, and underline.
In this fic the Snap never happened, this means that Thanos was defeated and Pietro is alive.
The UFO catcher is the claw machine where you can catch stuffed animals or other prizes.
This is my entry to the @joannie95 ‘s 500 Follower Writing Challenge with prompt #19:
“Please don’t forget me and all the things we did” 
Also is one of my entries to @im-a-writer-right ‘s Writing Challenge ~2K Follower Celebration~ with the angst prompt #37:
“I haven’t been the same since you left me”.
And my entry to @jtargaryen18 ‘s 30 days of Chris.
My native language is Spanish so I wanna improve my writing skills in English if you notice any mistake please let me know and I will correct it.
I don’t give any kind of permission that my fics be posted in other platforms or languages (I translate myself my work) or the use of my graphics (my dividers are included in this), I did them exclusively for my fics, please respect my work and don’t steal it. There are some people here who make dividers that anyone can use, mine is not this type, please look for the other’s people. The only exception is the ones I gifted ‘cuz now belong to someone else. If you find any of my works on a different platform and is not one of my accounts, please let me know. Reblogs and comments are always welcome.
DISCLAIMER: I don’t own Marvel’s characters (unfortunately), except for the original characters and the story.
My other media where I publish: Wattpad, Ao3, ffnet.
If you like it please vote, comment, and give me feedback to improve my skills and reblog. 
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Steven Grant Rogers
 Steve heavily turned off the alarm clock, it had been late, he flipped to your bedside, and he sighed disappointed when he noticed that it was empty.
He dialed your cell phone in the hope that you'd answer him, but you didn't, the mailbox came in instead of hearing your voice, his stomach protested.  
He went down to breakfast like every morning, even though they had prevented Thanos from making the snap, and you had beaten him, nothing was the same again.
After finishing breakfast, Steve decided to go for a run in the park, it was the fifth lap he gave when his cell phone rang.
“Y/N!”  He answered immediately excitedly. 
"Steve, you keep calling me a lot," you answered.  
"I know, it's just that all I want is for you to come back," he confessed embarrassed.
"Maybe you should have come to visit me more often after those days," you complained.  
"You know I tried, but I wasn't allowed in.”  
"You didn't try hard enough, but now no one will stop you from visiting me.” 
“Y/N…”
 The call was cut off, Steve blinked, after the battle, the calls were strange, sometimes he didn't understand what you wanted to say.  
"Steve?" Sam called him while he approaching carefully. 
"Hey, Sam.” 
“Are you okay?" Sam questioned. 
"Yes, only... I was thinking about Y/N...”  
"Steve we've talked about this... she's gone," Sam said.  
"I know... I know," Steve replied sadly. 
Sam looked up at a tree on the other side of where they were, blinked several times, you were half-hidden behind the tree, waving you a hand.
 Wanda Marya y Pietro Django Maximoff
 Wanda and Pietro were training, Wanda moved obstacles with her powers while her twin dodged them.  
"You're doing great," you congratulated them. 
"Y/N...”  
They approached skeptically, they weren't sure what they were seeing, and they didn't even care if it was a hallucination.  
"But...”  
"Aren't you happy to see me?" you asked.  
You stirred their hair, they were dumbfounded, and they didn't know what to say or do.
"You should stop feeling like you did something wrong when you joined HYDRA. 
"How do you know?" Pietro questioned.  
"Pietro... I know everything.”  
The twins saw each other, they had never told him anything about what they thought about what they had done.  
"They told you a lie, but when you found out what was going on you decided to do the right thing, didn't you?" you went on. 
The twins nodded.  
“Y/N...”
Wanda couldn't take it anymore and fell up to you to hug you, Pietro imitated her.  
"I've missed you so much," Wanda confessed.
"Me too, but you know I can't stay.”  
You separated from them.  
"Please, stay with us,” Wanda begged. 
 "We need you," Pietro supported.  
You were already gone.
 Steven Grant Rogers
 Steve was taking a shower when he heard the bathroom door open, he didn't pay attention, and he still felt angry with himself.  
You went into the bathroom, took off your clothes, you walked in with him, you hugged him in the back, he turned around. 
"Y/N..."  
You put a finger on his lips. 
"Shh, I don't want to talk, you know what I want."  
Steve kissed you fiercely as he touched you while the water was falling.
 Natasha Alianovna Romanoff
 Natasha peeked out the window, blinking several times, you shouldn't be there, and she immediately ran out to where you were.  
You kept swinging without being undeterred by the presence of your friend.
“Hi, Nat” you greeting.
“How is…?”
“You should talk with Banner,” you said.  
"I beg your pardon?"  
"You still love him."  
"Y/N, but you..."
"Nat, I just want you to be happy, I can assure you that you've paid for everything you've done in the past, it's time to start over," you said.  
"Y/N... But... is just..."  
"Nothing Nat, I promise you everything will be fine."  
"Steve..."  
"I know.” 
Nat heard footsteps close and turned to see who was approaching.
“Are you okay?” Clint asked her.
Nat turned to where you were... but there was no one on the swing anymore, it just moved slightly as if someone had just come down.
“Yeah…is just…”
 Steven Grant Rogers
 You handed the documents over to Cameron, you joked a little bit and then he left, Steve saw everything, got discouraged, but he had to get the doubt out of his head.  
"Agent Y/L/N,” he called you.  
"Captain.” 
"Your boyfriend?" Steve asked referring to Klein.  
"Hmm? Oh... Cameron... no, no, no, we're just friends," you answered.
"Friends?" repeated Steve unconcern convinced.  
"If we've known each other since the Academy and we're friends.”  
Steve exhaled more calmly, maybe he should be encouraged to ask you out.  
"Do you have anything to do on Saturday?" he questioned.  
"No, I don't think so.” 
He impulsively kissed you.  
"You already have plans then... with me, " he sentenced before he left.  
You just stood there smiling like a fool.  
Natasha had told him he had to be bolder if he wanted you to go out with him, so that's what he did.
 Samuel “Sam” Thomas Wilson
 You knocked on the back door of Sam's house kitchen, he was preparing his breakfast, he went to see who he was, suddenly he felt the air was missing, it was not possible what he saw.  
"Y/N, but you..."  
"I'm here Sam."  
"Y/N, I need explanations because..."  
"There's no time for that, Wilson, I need you to do me a favor, I need your help," you interrupted him.  
"What is it about? If you're in danger...”  
"Take care of Steve for me, I know he doesn't want to accept what happened, but I don't want him to do anything stupid," you asked.  
"What do you mean Y/N?" he asked across his arms.  
"Just promise me, Steve needs the support of all of you."  
"Sure, just explain to me what happened..." 
He looked up, there was no one in front of him.
“Y/N?”
 Steven Grant Rogers
 "You took a long time to get back" complained when you saw him walk into the room you shared.  
Steve was startled, he was supposed to be alone, but there you were in front of him, lying and naked in the bed you used to share.  
"Are you going to stand there watching me all night?" you asked.  
He came slowly, put a hand on your face, wondered if you were real, and kissed you.
 Anthony “Tony” Edward Stark  
Tony was designing armor for Pepper, they had decided to postpone the wedding one year after what happened, it was so unforeseen, and no one was over it yet.  
"I'd ask FRIDAY to announce me, but I'm sure you'd think it's a joke," you said. 
Tony turned around, what was going on was implausible.  
“I forgive you for being a moron with all of us,” you said.  
"Thank you?"  
"I know you have thousands of questions, but I won't answer them even if you do them, so abstained yourself," you continued.  
"Everything's been gone wrong since you left..."  
"No Tony, everything went wrong since the Accords, forgive Bucky," you ordered.  
"But he..."
"He killed your parents under HYDRA’s orders, not because he wanted to do it, all that he did was because he was under their control, all that things still cause him nightmares and a lot of regrets, anyway, shouldn't you be mad at your father and Peggy? They were the ones who hired Zola in S.H.I.E.L.D.; Zola was the one who created the Winter Soldier," you explained.  
Tony saw you quietly for a few minutes processing your words. 
"If you want to have a quiet life you could do it, but first, you must forgive and apologize, Tony."  
"I should have done something else, we should all have..." 
"It was my decision."  
"Could you come back? You are the heart of the team..."  
You smiled and left the lab without saying a word.
 Steven Grant Rogers
 You saw your little dog approaching you while he wagged his tail.  
"What are you wearing on your dog collar?" you asked when you saw something weird.  
Your dog sat in front of you and when you checked it, you saw the engagement ring.  
Behind Steve, he was watching everything, realizing that you already had the ring in your hand, he peeked out.  
"And what is your answer?" questioned nervously.  
"Of course I accept to marry my little boy," you replied jokingly as you took the dog in your arms.  
Steve's face was a mixture of emotions, it couldn't be said if he was bewildered, wanting to laugh or something else. 
"Would you marry me, doll?" he asked.  
You approached him and you were going to kiss him when the dog got between the two of us, laughed. 
"Of course I want to marry you, Steve," you answered.
 James Buchanan “Bucky” Barnes
 Bucky dared not leave the room, he feared he would meet Tony and that He would start a fight; however, his cell phone rang.  
 "Hello, Buck."  
"Y/N..." 
"Can I see you?"  
 You gave him the directions, a few minutes later he arrived at the agreed place.  
"It's not a trap, is it?" he questioned.  
"No Bucky, HYDRA is gone, I promise you.”
"Sorry, I..."  
"Stop blaming yourself for what you were forced to do, you've done the right thing to redeem yourself," you said.  
"I'm not sure..."  
"Believe me, I just need you to take care of Steve for me, okay, like before the war, I know it's hard..."  
"We can't without you..."  
"You must continue without me, there is no other way,” you sentenced.  
"Y/N" he called you.  
"Yes?"  
"Thank you for taking care of Steve, while... You know... I wasn't there," Bucky thanked.  
You smiled.
 Steven Grant Rogers
 Steve was training, it was the fifth punching bag he broke.  
"You should stop this habit of breaking punching bags, Stevie," you said.  
"Doll..."  
"I've always liked to see you train, it's so... Hmm, I have no words to describe it.”
He didn't say anything, he just took your hand. 
"Don't go, please,” he pleaded.  
"I love you, Stevie."
 Thor Odinson
 Thor had in his hands the little teddy bear you had taken from one of the UFO catcher machines, he looked up when he felt a presence in the place.  
"Lady Y/N.” 
“Hi, Beach-boy" you welcome.   
“What...?” 
“I think on this planet, somewhere you could create New Asgard with the survivors, do you like the idea?" you proposed. 
Before Thor could answer, you were already gone
 Steven Grant Rogers
 The nerves invaded Steve and increased every minute, what if a last-minute mission came up and ruined everything if everything was ruined, would you still want to marry him? 
His doubts vanished when he saw you walking down the aisle, fortunately, there was no inconvenience. 
"You're the most beautiful bride in the world,” he whispered to you as you danced the waltz
 Scott Edward Harris Lang y Hope van Dyne
 "Giant-man" 
"Y/N," Scott said surprised.  
"Who are you?" Hope asked. 
"Do you remember Cap?" Scott asked.  
Hope nodded.  
"Well, she's his girlfriend."  
"I’m his wife actually, you must be Hope, Scott told us about you," you corrected.
"Well, this doesn't make sense..."  
They knew what had happened.  
"Nothing has it, maybe you should talk to Steve, and I think there's room in The Avengers."  
Both of them were confused, when Scott was going to ask you what you meant, there was no one else was with them.
 Steven Grant Rogers
 Steve woke up when he heard a noise in the kitchen, he had fallen asleep in the lounge sofa, and he went to see what was going on.  
"Y/N?"  
"Did I wake you? I'm sorry, I can't find my chocolates," you apologized.  
Steve turned to see the clock on the kitchen wall. 
"It's two in the morning..."  
"It's never too late for one," you joked. 
He smiled, always his little jokes were funny, and he loved to see you smile and heard your laughter; he approached the cupboard and pulled the box out of the highest shelf.  
"Do you want to see a movie?" he proposed.
 Clinton “Clint” Francis Barton
 "I keep insisting that it's not safe to have arrows in a house with children," you said.
Clint dropped the bow to the floor, it supposed he was alone, Laura was taking care of their children.  
"Maybe you should go visit the guys, Steve will probably need paternity advice; Nat and the twins miss you so much," you continue.  
"Y/N...”  
"Several times I envied that you had such a beautiful family, sometimes things don't go as you expect," you said.  
Clint looked down at the bow without understanding, when he looked up to ask you something, there was no one.
 Steven Grant Rogers
 He was nervous, it was still supposed to be two weeks before your baby was born, but you'd woke up with contractions.   
"Steve, calm down now, you're not helping me at all," you asked with a grimace of pain. 
"But it was two weeks away...”  
"WELL, THE BABY WANTS TO GET OUT, I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU WANT ME TO DO!” 
"Don't yell doll, we're in a hospital... Auch...” 
You squeezed his hand very tightly when you felt another contraction.  
You had no idea how many hours or minutes had passed, but eventually, the little girl was born. 
"It's so small," Steve said as he carried her.  
"Steve give it to me, I have to feed her," you asked
 Robert Bruce Banner
 "You've never been afraid that one of your experiments will go wrong?" you asked.
“Y/N…”
Bruce watched you for a few seconds.  
"There must be some logical explanation," he said.  
"That doesn't matter, get out of this damn lab and talk to Nat, one of you has to take the first step," you ordered him.  
"She hates me," he said.  
"She doesn't hate you, I had to put up with her talking about you, I don't know how many years, most of the time she described how she wanted to kill you."
"But the other..."  
"She doesn't care, she loves you the way you are, then do it or I'll hit you so hard that it's going to scare the other guy," you threatened. 
"Okay, I just have to turn this off," he said.  
Bruce turned to the team he was working with and then flipped to where you were.
“Y/N?”
 Steven Grant Rogers
 Steve heard Sarah crying, in last weeks he had not felt able to be close to her daughter, Natasha had cared for her at the time, but right now she did not know where the spy was. 
He approached the girl's crib and loaded her to try to reassure her.  
"Shh, calm down little girl, I know you miss Mom, so do I."  
Suddenly the girl calmed down unexpectedly and stretched out her little hand. 
"Mommy" she babbled.  
Steve turned strange, there you were, you approached them and you took your daughter.  
"You put her plushies wrong, she likes to have her stuffed animal on the left, but you put Cap's stuffed one in that place that goes to the right" you explained.
 Maria Hill, Nicholas “Nick” Joseph Fury, and Phillip “Phil” J. Coulson
 "Haven't they decide what they're going to do yet?" Fury asked Maria.  
Maria left the phone on the table before answering. 
"No, no one has dared to talk about the situation," Hill confirmed.  
"Maybe if we tell them there's an option..." 
Whatever they want to try isn't going to work," you said.  
"Y/N?!" the three exclaimed surprised in unison. 
"Guide them, they feel completely lost, they don't want to continue with the proposal," you asked.
 Steven Grant Rogers
 Steve took all the pictures of you and the drawings of you he did, there were too many, he’d give anything for you to come back. 
"I wish you'd never left..."  
Someone knocked on the door, he was hoping it would be you, he needed you, he opened the door and his face showed complete disappointment.  
"Stark wants to talk to everyone, he needs us in the boardroom," Nat told him. 
"Okay," he said, trying to hide things.  
"Are you okay, Steve?"  
"Yes, in a moment I go, I only put in order a few things,” he answered.  
"You're a bad liar."   
"In a moment I will go,” he said again.
 Peter Benjamin Parker
 "Queens Spider-Boy" he greeted.  
"Miss Rogers.”  
"Y/N, just call me Y/N.”  
Peter carved his eyes, maybe he was hallucinating, and there was no way that was possible.  
"I would never think that Tony did it right when he involved you in something that was only to adults, but you should go visit him, he feels a little or maybe very lost," you said.  
"With who are you talking to Peter?" May asked. 
"With...”  
He turned to ask you with his eyes if I should reveal your presence, but you were gone.  
"... Nobody.”
 Steven Grant Rogers
 Thanos had finally arrived in Wakanda, Wanda was trying to destroy Vision's gem, just as Thanos came up to her feeling it.  
You assumed what he was going to do, with your powers you immobilized him. 
"Don't you dare,” you warned.  
He was too strong, but you weren't going to give up so easily, you managed to take away two of the stones -the time and reality stones- as soon as you had them in your possession, you opened a portal to go somewhere else and destroy them.
You concentrated as much as you could, it was difficult, but if Wanda had been able, you could too, all you needed was that Thanos didn't find you, you hadn't left Wakanda, but if in the next few minutes you couldn't destroy them, you'd open another portal to go somewhere else to buy more time.   
"Y/N, status,” Steve required.  
"I've got two, I'll try to destroy them," you reported.  
"Where are you?" he questioned.  
"Just deal with him," you asked.  
You had finally succeeded, those two stones had been destroyed, without all three, you were sure That Thanos could not fulfill his goal, you rose with difficulty, you were exhausted, to destroy them you had needed more powers and energy than you thought.
As soon as you turned around you felt a bump, Thanos had found you.  
"They no longer exist... I destroyed them," you mocked.  
"How you dare?"   
Suddenly you felt a sharp pain in your entrails, the metallic taste in your mouth appeared.  
"No!" Steve yelled.  
He pounded on the enemy to get you off your back, at that moment Thor appeared where you were.  
"Go with her," he told Steve.  
Steve came up to you, the blood kept flowing, he didn't know how to stop the blood, but he had to do something.  
"S-Steve..."  
"Shh, its okay, doll, don't try hard," he asked. 
"I think... take care of Sarah, okay, I love you..."  
Your eyes were heavy, slowly closed. 
 "No... Y/N... no, wake up doll, please..."
 James Rupert “Rhodey” Rhodes
 “Rhodes” you called him.
He stood still, did not know what to do, perhaps he had heard wrong, but no, your voice had been very clear, slowly turned. 
"I made a mistake in signing the Accords..."  
"It’s okay, you thought you were doing the right thing..."  
"I thought the government would know what to do, like acting the right way. But when Thanos..."  
"Okay, now just try to reunite everyone," you asked.
 Steven Grant Rogers
 His mobile phone rang, desperately Steve caught up with him to answer him as quickly as possible.
 “Doll, we need you.”
“Stevie, you know I can’t go back.”
“I haven’t been the same since you left me.”
“Sarah need you.”
"She needs you, she wants her mom back..."  
"You're a good father Stevie, you'll do well, I didn't mean for that to go wrong either, but you know I did it for her."  
"Please come back."
“Stevie.”
“Doll.”
“Please don’t forget me and all the things we did”
"Stevie, you know, this is a very beautiful place" you commented. 
"I want to be with you."  
"No, you must be with our daughter, you know, I met your mom, she's a lovely woman."  
"What?"
 He wasn't sure what he'd heard, those words only saw one of his greatest fears, now he had no choice but to accept what had happened in the battle.
 “I have to go.”
"No, don't go, please, " he pleaded.  
"Tell Sarah about me."  
"I love you too much, never forget it."
 You hung up, you knew time was up, you smiled, at least you'd been given a chance to say goodbye.  
Steve dropped to his knees crying, give anything for you to come back, though he would tell Sarah about you.
 Everyone
 On the board all the tension went away, they had already decided what to do, all the roughness had been filed, and from now on they would be a team.  
They decided to go visit Y/N's tomb, they put the flowers on it. 
 "She wanted us to continue," Nat said.  
"I found this," Steve commented, showing a note. 
"Me too," Wanda replied.  
They all got the same note, none had no idea who had written it or exactly what it meant.
 Thank you for what you did, I hope you liked the gift.
W.
 "Are you sure it was the best?" asked Ulana.  
"They deserved a gift for saving the universe and she had not been able to say goodbye to everyone she loves," Uatu replied.  
"You're right."  
Now they could get on with their lives.
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danni-chuu · 4 years
Text
The 7 brothers with a 10 year-old lilith (+ side characters & mc)
This is an hc is inspired by the chapter 14 flashback, so the gist of this Hc is what if lilith gets turned into a 10 year old child try as diavolos way to save her. This is gonna be a really long post so strap in~❤️.
This hc post is made with the help of my friend, @heeminchan, thankiez.
General info about 10 year old lilith:
She has no recollection or memories about the celestial war or being an angel at all.
The post might say 10 years old but she's probably already pass the 1000+ mark, but still is and acts like a child.
She looks like ruri chan ( for reference here)
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So without further babbling, lez go❤️
Lucifer
" if you behave I'll give you a princess poison apple and play with you "
Lucifer being the eldest takes it upon himself to be a father like figure to her. In front of the others, he makes sure to keep a strict front but in private, he's alot more softer on her.
Lucifer's room has a toy chest for her since she likes spending time and playing in his room. And being the child that she is, she even dresses up the skeleton in his room. If he's not busy, he would play with her, simple playing house and all.
One time while lucifer was doing paper work,lilith wanted to help him . So to keep lilith busy, he handed her a bunch of void documents and told her to sign them. In the end she got bored and decided to draw her with her 7 older brothers. Which luci decided to frame and put up at the entrance hall.
If lilith gets into trouble, luci doesn't shy away from punishment. But rather than stringing someone upside down and leaving them like that for 100 years, he would just ground lilith and take away her toys. (Buuuuut her other brothers would just sneak some of her toys to her room, especially beel and belphie)
Mammon
" heh you should be greatful you're brothers with the GREAT mammon, shortie! Huh?! w-wait dont cry! "
Mammon loves teasing lilith. Be it calling her a pipspeak, shortie, cry baby, etc. He's said them all, buuuuut he always takes it back because lilith might tell lucifer and he gets punished AG A I N.
Lilith as much as possible doesn't leave any of her things in mammon's room, because her other brothers warn her that he's going to sell them away.
One time mammon stole something from lucifer (probably something to profit from), and lilith was in lucifers room because she was playing hide and seek with beel. Seeing mammon stealing, she gets out of her hiding spot and tells mammon that she will rat him out to her big brother lucifer.mammon taking non of this shitz says he'll do whatever she wants. By the end of the day, lilith gets a new plushie and mammon still got ratted out because how can she lie to her big brother lucifer?
Mammon does try to get her involved in his schemes sometimes. Making her ask money from her other brothers and other more shenanigans, but when he's feeling it he will in fact spoil her with little treats such as candy.
Leviathan
" wooah you look so much like ruri-chan! Can you sing too?"
Levi is still as much of a shut- in, having a younger sibling that he can teach TSL or play games with is his dream come true. Lilith goes to his room to watch anime (for her its cartoons but dont tell levi because he will be very triggered) with him and play video games.
If lilith does go to levi's room , he's always watching out just in case she ends up using his precious figurines as dolls or touching his precious merch. Sometimes( most of the time) when he's too busy playing his games, lilith will just talk to henry 2.0 and feed him.
Levi is a mega ultra super duper (insert more hyperbolic words) fan of ruri-chan, so during lilith's birthday..he gave her a ruri-chan costume (the other brothers already knew where this was heading but they couldn't stop it since lilith liked the cute clothes). She wore them and levi literally freaked because she looked just like her! He posted a picture of her on devilgram and the pic got a decent amount of likes.
The only time that lilith gets in trouble with levi is her staying with him past her bed time, she gets pouty about it but in the end she still gets taken to bed by her big brother lucifer.
Satan
"i can read you a story or we can play tea time, what do you prefer? "
Satan acts alot like a tutor to lilith, he teaches her about manners, reading and writing, and many other things. Satan loves teaching lilith especially when he sees her trying to pronounce big words, which he finds adorable.
Satan for the most part wants lilith to stay out of his room because there are too many dangerous books around. But he would rather play with her in her room instead, either reading a children's bed time book before going to bed or playing tea time with her. They both share a love for pets and animals, so in his free time, he will take her to a kitty cafe where she can play with the lil furballs.
Satan was regulary teaching lilith about different animals, until they got to the cat. Lilith became so intrigued by cats that satan spent a good 30 minutes to an hour of answering her questions about cats. One day, he saw lilith crying by the stairs. He quickly went over and asked her what's wrong, only to find out that she asked lucifer if they can adopt a cat wherein lucifer completely dismisses the idea. Knowing that Lucifer's mind wont change, the next day satan surprises lilith with a black cat plushie with a red bow tie thats as tall (or alitte bit smaller) than her. Until this day, the cat plushie satan gave her is her favourite. She is never seen without it, and she even gave it a name, mr. Momo.
The only time that lilith ever gets in trouble is if she joins in on satan's pranks on lucifer. But most of the time she's let off the hook if they're harmless ones.
Asmodeus
" waahh~ lilith's so adorable, but not as adorable as me"
To lilith, asmo is the closest thing to a sister she can have. Being the only girl in the house( before mc, if mc is a girl ), asmo likes to doll her up and make her his little dress up doll. He often buys clothes for her because he just LOVES making her pretty.
She doesn't spend as much time in asmo's room because there isn't much to do there, but when asmo calls her in after a shopping trip. She already knows he's going to make her pretty as a peach!
It was lilith's birthday and Asmo wanted to dress her up for the occasion! Hair? Check! Make up? Check! Clothes? Check! She was looking as pretty as ever (but not as pretty as him). After dolling her up , lilith went to her other brothers to show Amos work. All of them asked if a child should be wearing that much make up, but asmo tells lilith to shrug them off because they can't appreciate beauty even if it hits them in the face!
The one thing that gets lilith in trouble is lucifer seeing her being dressed by asmo , wearing clothes not fit for a 10 year old girl. Seriously, devilgram level make up on a kid is not appropriate (well in lucifer and some of the other brothers point of view)
Beezlebub
" the eggs taste like plastic..huh? I'm not supposed to eat them? Sorry, they looked too realistic"
Beel is very close with lilith. He spends most of his time watching over her or bringing her to his favourite food joints to eat. Since beel is so big, she loves it when he carries her around, either on his shoulders or just being carried in general. Beel wants to protect lilith at all times, so if sorcerers or witches want to summon lilith, he comes along to watch over her still.
if its not Lucifer's room, lilith's next stop is always the twin's room. She goes in and jumps on either of the beds and having her toys there as well she can already entertain herself. When beel is there to play with her, she likes to play chef and make him food using her plastic kitchen toy set( though some pieces are missing since beel keeps forgetting that its plastic). If she doesn't want to play with her toys, she tries to tickle fight beel and always wins.
Beel was in his room eating a box of cupcakes until lilith barges in and sees him eating cupcakes, she pouts at beel asking why he didn't tell her that he had cupcakes. Beel, being beel just says to her, " they're my cupcakes". She pouts even more and says that she wants a cupcake as well. Beel couldn't resist and splits the cupcake, giving the other half to her. After finishing the cupcake, he promises to buy her a box aswell next time.
Lilith having a sweet tooth herself will often look in the fridge for sweets. She sometimes ends up eating beels food(custard), and hides the evidence. Beel rampages again and breaks the kitchen. Lucifer then lines all of them up and ask who ate the custard, and all of them immediately suspect mammon. But being a good girl, lilith admits her mistake and apologizes to beel, who calms down and says ," you could have left me some..".
Belphegor
" how about later...? Im still too sleepy to teach you..."
Belphie, same with beel, is pretty close with lilith. If he isn't cuddling her as his favourite cuddle buddy, he's teaching her how to dance ballet(Based it off his dancing sprite). Lilith spends most of her afternoon napping with belphie.
Besides playing with beel , lilith also loves playig around with belphie. She makes it an everyday challenge for herself to wake him up in the most creative ways. It can be things such as ice,drawing on his face, tickles, etc. When belphie is too lazy to stand up from bed( which is often), she just plays with his hair and does whatever she wants with it. When he finally does stand up, he teaches lilith some ballet. While she's even wearing her full ballet attire, with tutu included.
It was the middle of the night and lilith had a nightmare, she wanted to go to her big brother lucifer, but it was already late and she might be disturbing him. But then she remembered that mid nights is when his big brother belphie is awake, so she goes over to him with mr.momo. belphie is alittle confused since its way past her bedtime so he asked her whats wrong. She climbs up his bed and hugs him, after calming down she tells belphie that she had a nightmare. Belphie was well acquainted with nightmares, so he knew exactly what to do. They went to the kitchen and both had a cup of warm milk. Going back to his room, he cuddled up with lilith and made sure she had a good nights sleep.
Lilith ends up over sleeping and gets very cranky if she gets rudely awakened.the others find it very adorable.
Mc
"...." * Huwgs*
So this depends on the mc's personality but lets start from the beginning. After being sent to the devildom and having the basic run down of what is to come, mammon takes you to the house of lamentations. The first thing you notice once the door opens, is toys scattered all around the entrance hall. Not only toys, but you see a height lines at one of the door frames. Mammon gets more annoyed because he stepped on one of the toys and he shouts out," lilith!". A small girl carrying a black cat plushie almost her size comes down the stairs. Mammon scolds her for leaving her toys out like that and he introduces you to their 8th sibling, lilith. Lilith immediately hugs you (no matter the gender), because it's been a while since she's seen a human. And you become her instant play mate.
The mc's room already has a toy chest, filled with lilith's favourite toys. She likes to play around with the mc and actually gets quite attached to them.
Lilith gets so comfortable around the mc that she ask permission from her big brother luci if she can make a pact with the mc. Of course, lucifer is skeptical but he allows it because of liliths enthusiasm.
Diavolo
" ah lilith , I didn't think you would be accompanying lucifer today. "
Dia acts alot like the rich uncle that only comes back during the holidays to give out presents. Lilith rarely gets to see diavolo because most of the time it's only lucifer that gets to see him. But, when lucifer does come back he often gives lilith sweets that barbatos made by diavolo's order.
On the rare occasions that lucifer brings lilith along with him, she acts very reserved and shows off the manners lessons that satan has been teaching her.
On one evening, lucifer brings lilith along to dinner with diavolo. While eating, diavolo jokes around saying that lucifer should just stay in the castle with him. Suddenly, lilith bumps in and protests against the idea, " no big brother luci's staying with us". She hugs as much of lucifers arm that she can, giving diavolo her most pouty and "menacing face". Dia loves seeing how much she cares for her brother, while lucifer is trying his best to hide his embarrassment.
Luke
" ahhhhh! Im not a child! I dont want to play with a demon!"
When lilith first saw luke, her mind immediately said," playmate! ". Though luke always complains about being treated like a child because he's short, he tries to bare it because simeon convinced him to play with lilith.
When in the purgatory hall, she brings along mr.momo and some other toys. luke sometimes pretend he isn't there so he doesn't have to play with lilith, but once he hears a sniffle of her almost crying. He couldn't help but open the door for her and play.
Upon first meeting luke, the key difference in height was..still... apparent. Somehow, lilith is still a few inches taller than luke. Being the giddy child she is, she tells her brothers about it and they all start laughing their lungs out. And when luke finally got wind of it, he was so flustered and embarrassed, he almost refused to leave his room.
Solomon
" why not make a pact with me?"
All her brothers warn her about solomon and to stay as far away from him as possible, she rarely gets to interact with him. But most of the times they do meet, he often ask her to make a pact with him. She always replies to him, " i have to ask big brother luci's permission first". Solomon just smiles and pats her head.
Huhu not much i can say about him since im sure the brothers distance lilith from solomon as much as possible.
And that concludes this very very long post , hope you guys enjoyed it❤️❤️❤️
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Chapter seven 🤌
First of all; when Bugsy mentioned maybe not wanting to show her Face to Dream,,, I just went extremly sad and I could just hear his voice crack slightly even if its not there. 💔 the pain.
secondly; It was so worth staying up for this chapter 🤌 I was about to head to bed but this chapter made me go all xwocbwingos 💞💓💞💘💓💝💞💘 so :] I will have some good dreams
Third point on the list; Your writing 🤌 You make me fall for Karl, but also Dream, but also bugsy??? Like the way you build characters and give them depth just?? Its so good and it feels so realistic. Geniunely, teach me how omg,,, you're such a good writer,,,🙌💘💓💞💓💞💓💞💘💝💓💞💝 have all my love
last point; It's me. I'm camera girl. I'm not taking "no" for an answer. Karl Jacobs,, my beloved. Please let me be camera "girl". Please 🙏 We share one love language so we might as well love in that language🙏 (jkjk all jokes haha... unless??😳)
Ok all jokes aside I just wanted to tell you that this chapter once again was so awesome!! :] It's literally so cool how each time you upload you just shock me again with your writing. Like,,, it's geniunely so good?? It's very inspiring and if it wasn't 2:30 am in the morning for me rn, I would 100% spend that motivation your writing gives me on something good like writing myself. (But its late so no)
xiwnfownfo IM SO SORRY FOR THE SPAM BUT EACH CHAPTER HAS BE JUST OVERFLOW WITH THOUGHTS AND EMOTIONS?? LIKE I GO ALL GIGGLY AND RED AND EVERYTHING BECAUSE ITS SO CUTE??
...im so sorry for the spam 🙏 Im all over the place because your writing makes me so happy pahaha. Sorry for the long message :[ Hope it isnt annoying to hear me rant for 1 hour lmao and I hope that all of this makes sense Im literally just typing without thinking rn 💀🙌
ANYWAYS STAY HYDRATED AND SLEEP WELL LATER OR UHH ENJOY YOUR DAY IDK WHAT TIME IT IS FOR YOU.
Dude I ADORE your list of comments after I post they make me so freaking happy AHHH
1) GOOD. feel the pain dream felt when she said that. it was meant to hurt for a second until she said jk ily dream bc she's mean on accident :/
2) omg sorry i delayed you going to sleep pls sleep
3) thank you!!!! it's taken a lot of practice over the years writing different personalities to write good characters and I still could improve a lot but thank you!!!!
4) okay so now we got two people claiming to be George's girl AND Karls cameragirl. Im here for it. should I give Quackity and Sapnap love interests too so y'all can claim them? I think it's so funny how it's supposed to be a reader insert but everyone's like "sorry no bugsy is too precious and I love her and for those reasons she is not me" lmao bc me too!!!!!!!!!
don't apologize for the spam!!!! I love it!!!!! it's not annoying i promise!!!! my heart goes 🙈🥰🤩😚🥺😭 also I inspire you??????? make my heart explode i guESS SHEEEEESH 🥵
GO TO BED YOU FOOL GET SOME SLEEP SLEEP WELL
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peachybeatles · 4 years
Text
ultimate bottom!John master post ;)
Every fic listed is mclennon, includes sexual content and is on ao3. Do feel free to add onto the list if I’ve missed anything! 
Be My Baby - crybabycry
“Tell me, Johnny,” Paul murmured, teasing his almost-auburn hair between his fingers, “were you a good boy today?”
John’s breath quickened, blush spreading as he readjusted himself on Paul’s lap. “No, Paul, I was not a good boy today.”
These Nights - Unchained_Daisychain
Music journalist John Lennon is tasked with writing an article on newfound pop artist Paul McCartney. A night of fame, music, and passion soon surround John before he knows it. By the end of it all, he’s not so sure he can manage to give up this star and these nights.
Father’s Day - ImagineBeatles
John and Paul have a different way of celebrating Father’s day.
Understanding - ImagineBeatles
John wants to know what it’s like to be fucked roughly after he had seen how much Paul had enjoyed it, when he had done it to him. Paul is more than happy to do it.
The First Scene - DemonDean10
John is an omega and has kept this secret from all his friends for years. Until one day while on their first visit to the U.S. he discovers he forgot his heat suppressants. There is an Alpha that could come to his rescue, but what will happen after the two wake up and realize what they've done.
Higher Education - smothermeinrelish
Starting anew in Edinburgh Scotland, John is hired as a conservationist at the University where he will be working along side English Literature Professor Dr. Paul McCartney. John is instantly attracted to his new supervisor and mentor, but the feelings aren't mutual? Are they? Set in modern AU, the teacher/ student relationship could be more than just a temporary fling.
You Teaser, You Pleaser - Unchained_Daisychain
John and Paul finally find time to put their new handcuffs to use.
John shrugged, but the smirk on his lips belied his nonchalance. He glanced at the handcuffs Paul held between their bodies. “Seize the moment, Macca,” he said, low, tracing a single finger along the ridges of one open cuff. “Or any accessible poles throughout the day. They always leave that part out.”
Tease Me - nipsynips
His bandmates had always called him the ‘kinky’ one, but they had always assumed it was him doing the tying and the holding down and the commanding. True enough, that was often the case, especially with birds, but it wasn’t his preference. In fact, contrary to what most people thought, John relished the chance to relinquish control every once in a while.
Patience is a Virtue - Peachy_Beatles
John is trying his best to song write despite his overactive imagination. Luckily, Paul is willing to reward him for his efforts.
Summer Rose - chanderson
John and Paul rekindle their relationship late summer 1980. John's feeling lost, and Paul's missing him in more ways than one.
Cutting Strings - Peachy_Beatles
Early 1969: With John’s increasing emotional unavailability, Paul is left clinging on to whatever he can get from him- no matter how unfulfilling.
I Blame Tumblr - DemonDean10
I would just like to apologize to the world and myself for doing this. Based off this Tumblr post by @johnsdoublechin: @ the ppl who say John isnt a bottom at my last post well I got MY SOURCES. George, Ringo, Paul, Brian, Cynthia, and Yoko have all topped him thanks for listening And so...this was born. Basically John bottoms for everyone. Everyone tops him. I did this instead of my actual fics.
Ten Minutes - ImagineBeatles, ChutJeDors
Paul had thought that his friends only wanted the best for him, with giving him a gift card to a brothel and all. Now, having ended up in a room with a stunningly handsome male whore, he needs to reconsider those ideas about his friends, and his beliefs in life altogether. It’s just for ten minutes, though… Definitely a once in a lifetime thing, and all that. Totally! Right? Right??
What Feels Right/ This Loving Game - ImagineBeatles
Paul and Julia have been going out for a while and now they’ve decided to move in together. What Paul hadn’t expected when he’d agreed was that he’d fall in love with her troublesome teenage son, John
like a river flows, surely to the sea - toppermostofthepoppermost
John is smiling around his cigarette, head thrown back, eyes fixed on the cloudy sky, and it takes Paul all of his poor will to mutter, “You shouldn’t flirt with your teachers, you know?” “In my defense, Mr. McCartney,” John quips, shifting his gaze to Paul, “you make it very hard not to.” Or: Modern-day AU where Paul spends his days teaching everything Shakespeare, getting angry at modern electronic devices, raising a five-year-old girl who's 50% puppy eyes and 50% sassy comebacks and trying not to fall in love with John Lennon, his university student.
The Consequences of Getting What You Want - deux_lunes
Why John Lennon really beat Bob Wooler up at Paul’s birthday party.
Queer - deux_lunes
Paul gives John what he desires
Discipline - deux_lunes
John has been an utter brat and Paul decides that he is in desperate need of discipline.
Skype sex.  - mickeymouse (Sgtmacca0)
day 8. john skypes paul in the middle of the night.
In the Back Seat of My Car - ImagineBeatles
Modern AU. After having met at Stuart's birthday party, John and Paul get down and dirty in the back of John's car.
It won’t be long - orphan_account
After some interesting scents were being left around everywhere the Beatles went, even without any women around, it became obvious that someone in the band is an omega and never told anyone. But no one seems to care, or even notice, but Paul. The only other alpha in the band, with John of course. And he sniffs out (literally and figuratively) who it is alone in the hotel.
James - JP (jpgr1963)
Paul helps John cope with stress while on tour in 1964.
Magical Mystery Tour Love - DemonDean10
Paul gets drunk one night during MMT filming and confesses his love for John. John had been in love for yrs and is elated. but when Paul wakes up he remembers very little of the night before, will he tell John or try to make the relationship work, even with all the moral conflicts it brings up?
Day 30: Who’s Your Daddy, Johnny Boy? - ImagineBeatles
John's been a naughty boy who needs his Daddy to punish him and make him learn his lesson. Or at least, that's what Paul thinks. Not that John isn't more than happy to indulge his lover.
Day 22: Over The Desk - ImagineBeatles
1968. John keeps bothering Paul while he's busy doing management stuff, which is highly irritating for the younger Beatle, especially seeing as John makes it abundantly clear he isn't going to leave until he gets what he came for. In the end, John gets a little more than he bargained for.
Day 18: Lazy Morning Sex - ImagineBeatles
John and Paul spend the morning in bed together.
Day 6: Clothed Getting-Off - ImagineBeatles
John had seen Paul watching him, eyes hot and determined, so he was not at all surprised when he was dragged into an alleyway and pushed up against a brick wall to have his lips positively snogged off.
 I Want You - sockittoem
“In which John gets really horny after doing coke, and needs Paul to fuck it out of him.”
The Night Before - andthemoondogs
[ Anon McLennon prompt: "The Night Before" ] John and Paul have a night of drunken sex, after which, John panics and gives Paul the cold shoulder until Paul finally confronts him about it.
Day 7: Naked/Dressed - ImagineBeatles
1964. On the set of A Hard Day's Night, John and Paul cannot get one particular scene right in which Paul has to drag John away from a couple of girl as they try to find Paul's grandfather on the train, so they sneak off to practise the scene together. Soon, however, the boys have other things on their minds than rehearsing a scene.
Kiss Me - orphan_account
Mimi is gone for a trip, and when John and Paul meet at John's house for practice, things don't go quite as planned.
masturbation. - mickeymouse(Sgt macca0)
day 4. paul masturbates at the thought of john.
bottoms up. - ffomixam
“Can we get some mclennon with a possessive, dominant paul and compliant john? (technically doesn’t have to be smut)”
breathe desperation. - ffomixam
 McLennon smut, something along the lines of a first time, unexpected, adrenaline fueled, thoughtless, desperate handsy-ness and making out backstage after a show with John as the more submissive and needy one?
love me harder. - ffomixam 
Could you write a fic about Paul fucking John in public while in Hamburg, being really rough and dominant and teasing John that someone’s going to hear them and see John taking it up the arse, and John just devolves into a cummy fucked-out mess.
Of Hot Chocolate and Rainy Nights - paulmcfartney
yall already know what's goin on ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
I feel like I’m the worst, so I act like im the best - KiwiPillow
John, a young ravishing man, who is absolutely uninterested in anything but himself really, gets pursued by his roommate to try a dating website! What could go wrong? Well, maybe your "match" could turn out to be a bastard stalker mobster boss with a serious daddy kink, who wants to work on your attitude. Shocked and upset. In the mob bosses defence, John is annoying as hell in this.
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lethbians · 4 years
Note
can you explain what's going on right now? i keep seeing big IT blogs talking about some discourse or something but i have no idea what they're talking about other than it involves you lol
alright i like. i truly do not like having diScOurSE out in public because i’m not one to air out my dirty laundry 24/7 but seeing as how it was brought into public against my will i feel like the least i can do is clear up the situation for those who’ve been seeing the posts. 
i’m putting this under the cut bc it’s long. tws for some biphobia, brief mention of transphobia and, at the end, a rape mention. 
so if you don’t know: hi, i’m migz, i’m an it fandom blogger. its okay, i know, its really cool. part of my shtick here is that i like to turn normal thirst tags into works of art for the sake of comedy. perhaps you’ve seen some of my highlights from my “fhg” tag - perhaps your brain has been spared. either way, it became kind of “my thing” around the third or fourth week (mid nov) of me having this blog. at first, i tagged just about every ask i got mentioning the thirst tags with “bill hader” - they had to do with him, so why not tag him? it would draw more like minded people! about two days into that i got a message asking me to tag my nsfw. i am a big dumb idiot, and apologize for not initially doing it. i havent had a following bigger than like 10 in several years and completely spaced on basic etiquette. so by the end of november i was tagging everything applicable  with “notsfw” and “bill hader”. 
now you’re caught up.
on december 1st i got this message from user billhaderanti:
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now i want to start by saying i absolutely was in the wrong here. i didn’t even think about how many people were being subjected to the asks i was getting - especially ones who had no idea they were all jokes. i don’t track the bill hader tag, so it just didn’t even occur to me - that’s ignorance on my part, and to anyone who was subjected to the terrors of me before my tagging system: i am genuinely sorry. i relay the same sentiment in my response, though you can tell i’m on edge.
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and they replied:
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clearly they Were offended by it but thats.. not the point. at this point, im feeling Really weird about the whole interaction, but still understanding, because again - i GET it. i know my posts are gross - that’s the point. it doesn’t make it excusable, though, which is why i understand why people are offended. so i responded with the only solution i Knew would keep us both safe and happy posting on our own blogs. 
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so i thought this would be the end of things! i’d been pretty anxious lately already since i’d started to receive anons telling me i was gross and whore-ish for thirst posting in this way (i delete all of those, so if ur thinking about sending one, i guess no one’s stopping you but it won’t be seeing the light of the dashboard). i’m unsure if it was immediately or a few hours later, seeing as how i have a bad concept of time and the post-dates are right on the edge between nov 30 and dec 1, but i went to their blog - because anyone who has been on the internet knows the opportunity to vague post is near irresistible. and...what do ya know
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fair! it’s their blog. however i am an emotionally fragile egg girl and immediately got freaked out. the odds that they were the only one who thought this were low. and, again, i’ve been very open on my blog about how important it is to respect boundaries; my posts are absolutely prone to breaking those boundaries people have created for themselves. 
so i made my own, semi-vague post, letting my following know (and i’m pretty sure i’d answered asks about it before, but this is going to be long enough w/o me searching those up too) that i understood if they wanted to block me or unfollow or whatever - people need to create their own safe spaces. the tension is pretty clear in the tags, i’m not trying to hide that. i felt that the way this woman slid into my dm’s was pretty abrasive (just my opinion/how it made me personally feel) and i let myself be a lil emotional about it in the tags of my post.
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alright! maybe this is the end. maybe we both go our separate ways and post happily on our own blogs... except it’s not the end. later in the day (some of this was happening like 1/2am, so now its Day day, i believe - again, not good w time passage lol)
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clearly, i’m upset. my groupchat double checked that i didn’t get too emotional in my response - did i mention im anxious about discourse lol - and apparently.. it did the trick. she didn’t message me again. great. it was over. 
at this point, i decided i needed to make an even bigger change. so a few days after i’d calmed down i created an entirely new tag for my thirst posts so if people hadn’t already hidden the notsfw posts or just blocked me outright, they’d have a third option to escape the madness. at this point, id had my blog about 6? weeks, but there were still 2k posts for me to sift through - some of them were completely untagged. i also had to do it post by post, because one of xkits features - the mass re-tagger - was getting blogs deleted for some reason, and i wasn’t going to do that. so i spent a few days going through all 2k+ posts, adding the “fhg” tag. 
YEEHAW! a brand new tagging system, no more hopping into the bill hader tag (minus one or two really funny, not super explicit asks, like the bill hader farquaad meme), and, tbf, i’d completely put this woman out of my mind. i don’t seek out drama and do my best to stay in my lane. yesterday, i checked my activity for the first time in awhile since id put out a couple new original posts that had started to get traction and i Love reading tags. i noticed a mutual had @’d me, and realized i havent checked my @’s in...ever, maybe. i see a post from my good pal billhaderanti. 
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since i dont follow them and never check my @’s, i’d completely missed it. however, once i did see it, i was horrified. id gone through all that fucking work to keep my blog My Blog and also respect everyone’s boundaries and it still hadn’t been enough. i’d been awake for almost 24 hours and went. a little crazy. and i didn’t reply immediately because i just had no words. i sent it to my friends because i... i just wasn’t going to be able to figure it out myself. 
there’s a lot to unpack in this post alone, but whatever, i’m gonna put my own grievances with the immaturity of 1. making a callout post to begin with when i’d been nothing but civil 2. making a callout post about something as (in the grand scheme of Life) minor as some tags where i refer to a someone’s genitals as a “whack pack” and 3. making a callout post in such a rude way - aside. at the end, she calls me (and whoever else!) a demonic mlw (man loving woman, we assumed, and then later confirmed with a post further back on her blog). 
which - yeah, we started scrolling. at first we were looking for more vague blogs, and then we just...started finding things. billhaderanti is a self proclaimed lesbian separatist, which... fine. but it’s already pretty clear that this woman hates me on some level simply because i am a bi woman (demonic mlw, remember!) which is just. damn man i can’t believe we are still fighting the biphobic fight lol. so the more we scrolled, the more we uncovered - and not just the biphobic / vaguely mtf transphobic things they posted (or put in tags), but we also found that they had their OWN thirst tags. certainly not as hyperbolically comedic as mine, but they were there, talking about his body and his person the same (and, frankly, a bit creepier for other reasons) as mine. 
there’s one post in particular that snatched my wig in it’s creepiness - and i say creepiness in the sense that it feels personal. like this woman feels like she knows bill to some degree where she can say these things. my tags have always had a sense of distance, as they’re written for humor. and maybe this particular post was written for comedic purposes, but it doesn’t read that way, and if it WAS, then she has no right to call ME out for MY comic tags and posts. 
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i’ll let it speak for itself, mostly because i don’t want to read it again. 
i also won’t be going through her blog again to find the posts with biphobic and other Interesting:tm: tags because there are plenty and i just really! want to be done with the whole ordeal! her blog is public and i’m sure you can all find it and look to your heart’s content. 
feeling a bit feral and a bit pissed off now that we knew the depth of how rotten this woman’s vibes were, a couple of my pals made a post or two similar to what my tag’s are like except turned up to eleven (if possible) - and tagged them with “bill hader” (and notsfw!!). yes, a bit childish, but at this point, the entire situation was childish, and making jokes was truly the only way we were going to get through it. another vague post went up on her blog soon after.
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talking down to us, calling us children, and then for whatever reason calling us virgins... whatever, weird post. around this time most of us (est) went to bed, because it was nearing 3 or 4 in the morning. 
and then today happened. i woke up fresh and ready for the day after a wonderful 4 hours of sleep and found that jane had made an incredibly intelligent post in response to the situation. i won’t ss it, but i’ll LINK in case you missed it. attached there in the reblog is my own response. i think they can speak for themselves. 
after that, things were kind of jumbled, since i wasn’t online a lot and when i was i was Not checking my activity simply because i was afraid of what i’d see. for the most part, it ended up just being support (which i am very grateful to all of you for - it means a lot that you all enjoy my content to any degree). 
there was some more vague posting from both “““““sides”””””” of the “““““argument”””””” - mostly just people restating the fact that this is a public space and we should All be aware of how we effect others. i still hadn’t heard directly from billhaderanti, so i assumed we’d all be dropping and disengaging and moving on. i still wasn’t blocked, though, so who really knew what would happen. 
eventually, it culminated in this last post. tw for mentions of rape
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i’m going to start by saying that 
1. there are nearly no teenagers that were involved in this. im turning 23 in january and most of my friends are 20+. maybe one or two are 19. 
2. none of us sent any sexually violent asks - most of us didn’t send asks at all. i believe one or two of my friends admitted to sending asks however they assured me their nature wasn’t bad; as far as i know, everyone remained civil in whatever went on (again, unclear to me as to what was being sent; no one was actively posting or talking about it. if billhaderanti wishes to elaborate, they can, but i don’t have anything to put in). 
3. before i finish this, i would like to apologize to billhaderanti. as a comedian - not just my stupid tags, i mean in real life, too - i know that humor can hurt. it’s not always funny, it’s not just stupid hahas. sometimes things that are supposed to be jokes just hit people differently and cause bad things. i recognize that. i never meant to trigger you (if you’re reading this) or cause you any severe mental/emotional harm. i apologize for my humor bringing up your trauma, and i never meant for that. regardless of my own thoughts and opinions about the nature of my posts/the thirst tags themselves, they hurt you, and i’m sorry. 
anyway, i’m going to wrap this up (i’m bad at endings, what can i say! steven king and i took the same writer’s class!). if you read all this... sorry. i probably won’t be taking any asks about it, because i find the whole “drama” of this to be stupid and rooted in some seriously biphobic issues this fully grown woman has. 
tldr; i attempted to contain my blog so this woman could exist and function safely on her blog, but it wasn’t enough for her, so she called me out, and then some of the fandom called Her out for being biphobic and mean and overall just immature about the situation. as of now, she’s yet to block me, though her and her wife have blocked a few of my friends. her wife continues to clown on my friends. this post was made for clarity’s sake. the end, i’m getting a drink. 
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mrs-obrien · 4 years
Text
Late Nights- David Dobrik
Summary: You and David have been best friends for as long as you can remember. One of many late nights of David editing, you decide to spend the night. You get bored and decide to have a little fun while David edits.
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It was currently 12 a.m., Zane, Heath, Mariah, Carly, Erin and Jason had just left. I was cuddled up on the couch as david was editing. I yawned as i got up and stretched my body since i haven’t moved in an hour or 2.
“Are you gonna head out?” Davids eyes were fixated on me for the first time in an hour.
“Yeah I think so, Im really tired. It’s been a long ass day” i laughed.
“Spend the night. I have a bit more editing to do and then we can watch a movie or smth” he suggested. I agreed since we’ve both been so busy and haven’t hung out in a while.
“I’m gonna go steal one of your sweatshirts” i skipped to his room as he laughed.
This was a casual thing David and I did. Everyone thought we were dating from the way we treat each other. I’m not gonna lie, I had feelings for the guy but i wasn’t gonna ruin our friendship for something that could never happen.
I walked out of his bedroom and saw him in the kitchen. I walked over to him “so hows the vlog going?” I asked as i opened the fridge to see what I wanted to drink.
“Surprisingly really well, I think I’m gonna be really early today.”
“Your fans are gonna be so happyyyyy” i said as I grabbed a red bull.
“Oh shit y/n you’re gonna drink a red bull? Haha you’re gonna lose it” he said as he took his phone out and started filming me.
“Guys y/n is about to drink a red bull at like 1 a.m. and shes gonna go crazy.” he laughed at my confused expression.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about, Im fine.” I open the red bull and take a gulp as i make my way back to the couch and cuddle up in the blanket again.
“ yeah sure, guys I’ll update you in about 30 minutes to show you how y/n loses her shit. Byeee” he posted on his story. “I cant fucking wait” he laughed as he sat down in his previous position and continued editing.
It was 30 minutes later and i was really feelin that red bull. I got up and started walking aorund the house.
“Did it kick in yet?” David laughed. He took his phone out and started filming. He got up and walked over to me. “What did I tell youuuu” he laughed.
“I have no idea what youre talking about, im fine” i said nervously, obviously realizing david was right. I was losing my shit.
“Yeah sure. I know you. You’re losing it.” he said as I laughed and gave in.
“Oh my god fineeee. I think im losing my shit.” I said and David laughed as he posted that story too. I started walking around looking for David’s speakers. I needed music asap. David uploaded his vlog and we did the story for his instagram and snap together to tell his viewers that the video is officially uploaded.
We both suddenly got a lot of energy. We started fucking around and posting random shit on our story. In one of the videos, I set up my phone and put the song Come Hangout by AJR.
David and I started singing and dancing, mid dance i suddenly stopped. I stopped the music which confused david. “What’s wrong?” he asked.
“I really want some chicken nuggets right now” he burst out laughing. I laughed lightly. He was on the ground… still laughing. “David get your ass up i really want some chicken nuggets.” grabbed his hand and tried dragging him to the door but miserably failed. “Fine I’ll go by myself, where are your keys?” I said and suddenly he got up and grabbed me by my waist.
“Fuck no, youre not driving my car. I’ll take you.” I smiled innocently and winked at the camera as I slipped on my vans and we got into his tesla. It was currently 2:30 a.m. and we were at Mcdonalds. We set up davids camera and started filming the whole thing. As we got to the speaker we ordered our chicken nuggets, 2 cokes and a variety of sauces. I was so excited which David loved and pointed out every once in a while.
“I cant believe we’re actually fucking here.”
“Yeah me neither” i laughed.
“ you dragged me here, what do you mean”
“Yeah but you wouldnt have come if you didnt love me so shut the fuck up I just made your day with some Mcdonalds bitch” he laughed as he updated his story explaining what was happening. I suddenly got a call from zane. I laughed as I made sure the camera was recording.
“Hey Zane, whats up?” i answered.
“Hey baby girl, where you at?” he said with a smirk.
I laughed as David took the phone out of my hand, “Cut the shit Zane we know you know we’re at Mcdonalds. What do you want?” Zane laughed as he told us what to get him. We got our order and went to Zanes house to give him the food and go back home.
After we ate and finally calm the fuck down, we laid in Davids bed. We had one of our old talks that were all over the place but very much appreciated. It was currently 4 a.m. and we decided to go to sleep, it was normal for david and i to sleep in the same bed. We laIied under the covers and faced each other. “I missed this” I smiled.
“Me too, we both got so busy with work we forgot to check up on each other which sucks. But we know not to do that now. I literally don’t see a future without you in it y/n. I hope you know how much I love you.”
“Holy shit, David Dobrik is finally being nice for once in his life.” I laughed as he flipped me off and turned so his back was faced towards me. I laughed and jumped on him to make sure we faced each other. “Im kiddinggggg I love you too dave. I don’t know what I’d do without you.
You’ve always been there for me and Im so grateful to have you in my life.” I suddenly realized that I was stradelling him. I awkwardly apologized and layed back under the sheets.
We were back in the same position, looking into each others eyes with so much love. Our eyes drifted to each others lips then back to each other’s eyes. I suddenly fely his lips on mine. I kissed him back with just as much passion. It felt right and different. We pulled away and just embraced each other without saying a word. It just felt right to both of us, we didnt need to confirm anything. We knew we had time. We just wanted to enjoy the moment.
Omg guys I havent posted in so fucking long. I've been so busy with school and just so much shit. I'm back thooo. I hope you guys like this. It was kimds last min but ya.
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horansqueen · 4 years
Text
AM Conversations : chapter 30
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A Niall Horan fanfiction ; rated MA
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CHAPTER 1 || CHAPTER 2 || CHAPTER 3 || CHAPTER 4 || CHAPTER 5 || CHAPTER 6 || CHAPTER 7 || CHAPTER 8 || CHAPTER 9 || CHAPTER 10 || CHAPTER 11 || CHAPTER 12 || CHAPTER 13 || CHAPTER 14 || CHAPTER 15 || CHAPTER 16 || CHAPTER 17 || CHAPTER 18 || CHAPTER 19 || CHAPTER 20 || CHAPTER 21 || CHAPTER 22 || CHAPTER 23 || CHAPTER 24 || CHAPTER 25 || CHAPTER 26 || CHAPTER 27 || CHAPTER 28 || CHAPTER 29
NOTES:
-one chapter is her pov, the next is his. -4.1k -im sorry, i never proofread, i hate it. -there WILL be smut. but not only smut. -this is a romance, comedy, smut story. -for the summary, check my MASTERLIST.
- if you want to be notified when this is updated, please message me or leave a comment!
- you can send me questions and theories and comments. tbh they all make me SO SO SO SOOOO HAPPY! and make me want to write more! you can also tell me if there are things you WANT to happen. you never know, i may add it :P
- thanks for being patient btw! i work a lot these days and will work even more in the next few weeks (until halloween) so i may not update as often as i’d like. :(
- note for this chapter: idk, i feel like its a bad excuse for a chapter. especially the ending. im sorry for the bad writing.
-please, message me, give me feedbacks, it would mean sooo much to me!
Chapter 30 : His chapter
NIALL
I had been in denial for so long that when reality hit me, it hit me hard. After the conversation with Louis, I went back home and locked myself in for a few days. I didn't try to call anyone, and didn't answer the door or my phone either. I needed time to think and I ended up watching comedy movies for days without really focusing on any of them. It was crazy to always think about the same person, to wonder what they're doing or what they would do or say if they were here... but it was happening to me. It had never happened to me before.
I would spend hours laying in bed with my eyes open, thinking about the conversations Olivia and I could have and have had before. So many things became obvious now that I knew she had feelings for me, so many of her words or actions made so much sense now... and some of mine, too.
I had thought about her sexually for a few weeks now but it never crossed my mind that it could be love. Not because it was not, but because it was easier for me to believe it was lust.
I started thinking about so many things we went through, so many things we lived together, so many times we were there for each other. I didn't have that many memories with anyone else and it's only when I realized that I wanted all my memories to include her that it hit me. I loved her. I was in love with her.
Why did it take me so long to realize that? Why did it take her so long to admit her feelings to me? She said she had always loved me and I couldn't even begin to guess how she must have felt all these years.
My reaction to her confession was pathetic. It was fear and when I admitted that to myself, I started writing. At first, it was only a bunch of words thrown on a napkin at a bar but with time spent on my piano, it became something that was potentially worth turning into a real song. I had never written a song that deep in such a short period of time and when I decided it was done, I was not sure what to do with it.
I was not proud to say I ended up in a bar a few times, searching for a girl to meet and bring home but every time I was close to do it, I would run away. There was a reason why I couldn't have sex with Maya and the same reason stopped me from banging a random girl I didn't know... and I missed that reason. I fucking missed her.
I had never been as nervous as I was then when I saw her walking behind Louis and sitting at the table. Seeing her after two weeks without any contact with her was refreshing. She looked exactly the same, she looked exactly like the girl I was in love with. There was nothing I wanted more than find a way to apologize to her, to prove her that I was sorry and that my feelings were real. I was not the type who would display or expose my feelings but I knew that this time, I had to go big, if only because I felt like I owed her. If paps and online articles wanted to talk about it and post pictures, then whatever. She was more important.
I didn't care about everyone who stood up when I was done singing, I didn't care about the clapping and the cheering. I was only looking at her and she was crying. She walked up to me and I cupped her face, wiping her tears with my thumbs. I don't know how many times and for how long I kissed her but I didn't want to stop. It was completely different than the first kiss we shared when we were teens. In fact, it was completely different than any other kiss I've ever had. Was that too cheesy to say? She tasted amazing, a mix of expensive beer and candies, and I couldn't believe I had waited that long to discover that taste.
"I love you." I whispered against her mouth, deepening the kiss very slowly, making sure I would feel everything. "You still love me, yea?"
“Don’t be stupid.” she replied, just as low. “I always have and I always will.”
"Me too. I always have, and I always will." I answered, my grip tightening on her jaw. "I was just.. a fucking idiot. And a blind one at that. I hope you can forgive me."
She suddenly seemed taller and I noticed she got on her tiptoes, her hands moving from my wrists to my hands on her cheeks. My eyes opened and her lips curled into a fond smile as my gaze traveled on her face.
"That song forgave everything."
Her words made me smile and I suddenly relaxed, realizing that I was still scared. I was scared she had given up on me, that she didn't trust me.. that she didn't love me anymore. She could have changed her mind, she could have given up on us, I could have lost her... but she was still there, even after all the pain I put her through, she was there, ready to give me an other chance that I wasn't sure I deserved.
"I promise I'll write you many, many more."
Once again, I brought my lips back on hers, wondering if it would always be like this, wondering if I would get addicted to the taste of her mouth, or if maybe I already was.
"Okay, okay guys, it's time to drink."
I groaned in her mouth when I heard Louis' voice and moved away slightly before sighing.
"Fuckin' Tommo." I mumbled with a grimace before my eyes fluttered open again.
Olivia laughed and got back down on her feet but when she turned around to go join our friends, I found her hand quickly and squeezed her fingers. It was not the first time we held hands but it felt like it because this gesture meant more than it ever did before.
"Livi, hey." Louis said, pushing her mug on the table. "Aren't you glad you spent those five minutes on your hair now?"
She started laughing and I frowned with a smile at the inside joke I didn't get. I turned to Louis and raised my eyebrows as a question, making him grin.
"It's nothing, Neil, but you should have seen your girlfriend's hair when I knocked at her door." Louis explained, making my heart jump in my chest. "Priceless. And I said that 'cus no one would have paid for that."
My eyes found Olivia's and I didn't have to say anything. The fact that she was now my girlfriend had hit both of us at the same time and I was blissful... like intoxicated by the realization.
"You should see her when she just woke up." I pointed out, sending Liv a smirk and finally turning back to Louis. "A real mess."
"Really?" he replied with a thick accent, glancing at her. "I bet you can't wait to find out what her sex hair looks like."
I didn't expect that answer and choked slightly on my beer. Louis laughed, slapping my shoulder in a friendly manner, and left to get something else to drink. I finally sat next to Olivia and leaned my elbows on the table, turning my head to look at her.
"Are you okay with that?" I asked, raising my eyebrows.
"With what?" she frowned with an amused smile. "You and Louis laughing at my hair?"
"No," I chuckled. "With being my girlfriend."
Her smile turned into a shy one and she looked down chuckling sadly and shaking her head.
"Niall, being your girlfriend is what i've always wanted." she explained low.
I used two fingers to move her chin up and make her look in my eyes. She looked just as vulnerable as she seemed when she admitted her feelings to me but this time, I was not going to run away. My eyes roamed on her face and I licked my lips.
"I'm so sorry I've hurt you all these years." I apologized in a whisper. "I love you, real love."
Her smile came back, more gentle, fond and endearing than ever, and my heart twisted in my chest. I didn't want to ever hurt her anymore and I was going to do anything I could to keep her happy.
"I think we should leave, it's getting late." I proposed when I realized she wouldn't answer.
She simply nodded and we said our goodbyes, thanking out friends for their support and finally getting out of the too crowded bar. Instinctively, I gripped her fingers and pulled her closer, moving my arm up and making her twirl around. She giggled like a kid and it made me grin. She looked up in my eyes and I knew I didn't have to say anything. We reached my car and I opened the door for her but she tilted her head and frowned.
"Are you sure you're okay to drive?" she asked, worry in her voice.
"Yea, no problem, I only drank a beer." I answered with a shrug.
She sat in the car and closed the door as I did the same but when I glanced at her, she had her eyebrows raised and a small smile on her lips. I loved her facial expressions, I always have. She was the funniest person I knew.
"What?" I asked with a smile too.
"You only had one beer?" she questioned. "One?"
This time, I chuckled and raised one of my shoulders, bringing my head closer before shaking it. I knew it was unusual for me and i couldn't blame her for being surprised.
"Yes, one." I repeated with an other chuckle. "I wanted to be sober for the song but when it was over I drank one. So yea, it was the only one."
She smiled fondly at me again and I just knew I was going to get that look very often from now on. Perhaps she looked at me that way a lot, I just never really noticed before. Or wanted to notice.
"Thank you."
"And also, I couldn't let you clumsy ass drive my new car." I joked as she hit my arm lightly, making me laugh even more.
I started the car and we drove around town in silence. The night was cold and it started snowing, bringing a magical vibe to the moment and although I knew she was not a fan of winter, I could see the happiness in her eyes as she watched the snow fall slowly. It's only when we were close to my house that I felt her hand on my thigh. I thought i'd stiffen at her touch but it was the complete opposite : it relaxed me in a way I couldn't explain, not even to myself.
We got out of the car and walked to the front door still not talking and I closed the door behind us. I knew I didn't have to explain anything, I just glanced at her and smiled.
"Grab a few blankets, i'll join you."
She just nodded and I reached the kitchen to make some tea, adding a cloud of milk in both and going through the sliding door of my kitchen. She was sitting on the small bench, staring up, her shoulders covered with a blanket and when I handed her her favorite mug, she turned to me and smiled. I sat next to her and grabbed a part of the blanket to cover my shoulder too and put the beanie she handed me on. We stared up in silence, just watching the snowflakes fall and cover the ground, and in that moment, everything was perfect.
"So everyone was right." I broke the silence, turning to look at her. "About us being more than just best friends. It was... written in the stars, or something cheesy like that?"
I raised my eyebrows with a small smile and she shrugged, tilting her head. She looked pretty with one of my beanies covering her head and an old scarf I hadn't worn in years around her neck, all wrapped up in blankets as she held her tea with both hands. In fact, she was breathtaking.
"No it was just..." she shrugged in a cute way and looked away before looking back at me. "Obvious."
I bent down close to her and reached her lips with mine, and it made my heart jump in my chest. It was so weird to do that yet it felt natural. I saw her close her eyes just as I closed mine and the feeling of her mouth against mine made me feel better than I thought. I hadn't felt like that when I kissed Maya or Heidi or any of the other girls I kissed before. This feeling was different and better. I couldn't lie to myself, it was much better, so much better.
"I see it too." I murmured, my lips brushing against hers as I talked. "It really is obvious now."
                                                      ---
I let her borrow some of my clothes to sleep even if we both knew she had left some of hers in my drawers. She had always preferred wearing my clothes and I had always enjoyed watching her wear them. Perhaps it was a bit possessive but the feeling of seeing her in Harry's clothes was horrible and I never got used to it.
"Tired?" I asked, putting my shirt on and turning to her.
"Not really." she shrugged, making me smile.
"Come here, I want to hug you."
It was the kind of things I could have said even before we started dating but once again, it meant so much more now that she was my girlfriend.
"Yea?"
"Yea.
"Catch me, then!"
She started running, taking me by surprise and passing right by me quickly. She was already in the hall when I started running after her, reaching my arm in front of me. My fingertips brushed against her arm and she squealed, making me laugh. She jumped on my couch and ran on it and I got suddenly scared she'd fall down but she jumped back on the floor and ran back where she came from. I ran quicker and bent down slightly, wrapping my arm around her waist and pushing her in my room before throwing her on the bed. I moved on top of her, straddling her waist and holding her wrists above her head as we were both panting.
"Caught ya." I whispered with a smirk.
"You did." she admitted just as low, licking her lips.
My gaze moved to her mouth and I dipped my head down again to kiss her. My grip on her wrists loosened but she didn't move. She just answered my kiss, smiling the whole time.
The last time I ran after her and tackled her down was because she teased me, saying only crazy girls wanted to kiss me. Now, she was the one I was kissing and she didn't seem to hate it. Perhaps, the girls who want to kiss me aren't all crazy, but I was not going to mention that. We had also ended up exactly in this position and it was right after that sex dream I had.
"I really, really want to touch you." I whispered in-between kisses.
She moved her arms and I let her, letting go of her wrists. Her hands ran on my shoulders and down my arms, but I kept kissing her for a few seconds before moving slightly away. I stared in her eyes and she bite her bottom lip gently. I had noticed that habit and i loved it.
"Maybe tomorrow, okay?"
I felt my heart sink in my chest but I smiled and nodded lightly. "Okay."
I kissed her softly one last time and got off of her to turn the lights off in the house. When I got back in my room, she was laying under the blankets, looking at the ceiling. I turned the light off too and joined her, laying on my back and staring up, too.
I knew I could wait for us to have sex and I knew it was not something urgent, even if I really wanted her, but I felt like she was a bit scared, and so was I, if only because I was not sure what she liked and what she didn't like.
"How do you feel?" I just wondered in a gentle tone.
"Better now." she whispered.
Silence again. Not an awkward silence, no. A light and warm silence that we both enjoyed.
"Did you write that song for me?" she finally asked after a while.
I knew this question had been burning her lips since our first kiss at the bar and I sort of anticipated it. I smiled, still looking at the ceiling, and brought my hands behind my head.
"Yes, I wrote it for you." I confessed, turning my head her way. "Only you."
We stopped talking again as we both tried to process what was happening between us. Now that we were laying together in the dark the way we always are, it felt real and true and once again, it hit me hard.
"You were wrong, you know?" I pointed out, still staring at her, now seeing her very well in the darkness of the room.
"About what?" she asked in a murmur, licking her lips.
I looked down at her mouth, trying not to focus too much on kissing her again and finally looked up in her eyes.
"The One Direction song that represents us the most is not Infinity, it's probably Home."
She turned her body my way and smiled, bringing her hand to my cheek. I moved my body to face her too and put my hand on her waist, feeling her fingertips brush on my skin softly.
"And Drag Me Down? Maybe?"
She smiled and I did the same.
"A bit of End Of The Day?"
"What A Feeling." she added, making both our smiles grow.
"Fireproof."
"Everything About You."
I frowned, an amused smile still on my lips, and laughed.
"What? Could you have picked an even older song or what?"
We both burst into laughter and I pulled her closer to me. She smelled good and she looked happy. Just seeing her like that made me feel happy too.
"I thought you hated that album." I pointed out, raising my eyebrows as she shook her head.
"No, it's just my least favorite because you don't sing enough." she explained, moving her chin slightly up to look in my eyes. I could feel her breath on my skin and it made me want to kiss her. Again. "I don't hate anything you do. Except... when you date extra gorgeous models. That, I really hate."
"Says the girl who dated my sex symbol of a bandmate."
She laughed lightly and the sound was incredible. Was that what it felt like to be in love? To think everything the other person does is endearing, sweet, incredible... to feel something explode in your stomach every single time you look at them... Was that what I was blessed to feel ever single day for the rest of my life?
"The truth is... The first time I kissed Maya, it was right after you kissed Harry." I had realized that a few days after Liv had admitted her feelings for me and it had been a shock. All these reactions I couldn't explain now made so much sense. "I was scared, and lost and... and I was jealous, Olivia. I was so fucking jealous."
I didn't expect it but she suddenly crushed her mouth against mine, one of her hands pressing on my cheek as her lips kissed me avidly. Her tongue slipped in my mouth and I finally answered the kiss, pulling her as close as I could and squeezing her body against mine. It was not a gentle kiss, it was rough and passionate and I was a bit scared of how turned on it would make me, especially after she said she wanted to wait before we did anything sexual. She slowed the kiss after a while and I groaned low in her mouth before she pulled away.
"I'm sorry." she whispered, her fingertips slide down my neck.
"Don't be." I  answered in a low tone too. "I'm the one who should be sorry. For everything. Just... you should stop kissing me like that, it makes me want... more."
She laughed and her eyes roamed on my face as she let one of her hand slip down my chest. Her gaze never left mine but her smile fell and she started nibbling on her bottom lip. I could feel my heart throb hard in my chest and remained motionless, just looking at her and telling myself how much I loved her.
"I never said anything about not touching you." she just replied as she moved her hand on my cock over my sweatpants. "I mean, if you want me to."
"You don't have to ask." I reached for her hand and pressed it harder against my dick. "I always want you to touch me."
Her smile came back and I fought against the urge I had to kiss her. Her hand rubbed on me slowly but it's only when she slid it in my pants that I held my breath, focusing on the way her fingers wrapped around my cock. She took it out slowly and I realized how hard I was, even after only a few seconds of her touch. She started stroking me gently and I let out a groan, my eyes fluttering as I tried to keep them open. Her lips parted at the same time then mine when she jerked me off quicker and i whispered a curse word. Her thumb rubbing steadily on my tip brought me closer to my orgasm but it's only when her other hand slipped on my balls that I let out a moan.
"That time I fingered you." I whispered without thinking. "It turned me on so bad I came in my pants."
I watched the expression of slight surprise on her face and her movements faltered for a few seconds before her lips reached mine again, this time a bit softer. I groaned again in her mouth when one of her fingers slid right under my tip and I bit her bottom lip maybe a bit too hard.
"Fuck, you're gonna make me cum so hard, petal."
I could swear I felt her shiver next to me and I couldn't decide what turned me on more : her or what she was doing. With an other curse word, I felt an orgasm spread inside me and gripped the sheets of the bed hard as I came, my lips rubbing against hers with every jerk of my body. When I opened my eyes again, she was staring at me with a small smile and I grinned back at her. I couldn't remember the last time I didn't have to guide a girl on what to do to make me cum when it came to handjobs.
"I fucking love you." I breathed out with a chuckle, making her lips curl more.
"I fucking love you too." she repeated after about a minute.
We stayed in silence, just looking at each other, for a very long time until she yawned and I laughed. She looked adorable, why didn't I notice that before?
"I'll be right back."
I nodded and waited for her as she went to the bathroom while I pulled my pants back up and tried to lay down comfortably in bed. I was tired too but there was no way I would fall asleep without her in bed with me. I felt myself start smiling as soon as she entered the room again and although I thought it was a bit pathetic, I really didn't care.
"You're gonna hold me all night?" she wondered, her eyebrows raised, as I felt the warmth of her body close to mine.
I was never going to stop loving this girl. I could feel it in my bones, in every fiber of my being. She was my person, and I was a fucking idiot for not realizing it before.
"Do I ever not?"
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