#my backstory

[highathanamothafucka]

Hey hey. I’m gay gay. And we’re coming live to ya, tonite at 6:24 special. ( I lied. Itz actually 7:24, 24/7)

Imma tell y’all, i got top surgereh consult on decemba eighth. this is what ive been been waiting for, for forever. gettin top surgery is the thing ive wanted, literally from the day I learned i was gonna get boobs. course, i didnt realize that was a thing, i just knew that i did not want boobs, no matter what. i even had night mares about waking up one day with a huge pair of boobs. in those night mares, i felt so disgusted, horrified, and embarrassed that i just kinda decided to hide forever. I couldnt stand the thought of people seein me like that. when the nightmares became real, about 2 years later, when i was 10, i was in complete denial. I was just pretendin it wasnt happenin, so thats what i did. i didnt let them grow. i just said “chest im not gonna let you go on. You need to stop and just get rid of that bit you gave me.” And that did it! It stopped my boobs from growing! yeah, it didnt. but i sure as hell told myself it did. when my mom told me we need to go shopping for training bras, i pretend we didnt. We didnt go to walmart, we didnt look look at training bras, she didn’t go into the fitting room with me and see my chest while i tried them on. We didnt take some training bras up front and buy them. And we didnt go home with them and put them in my room. none of that happened, or so i said. but denial doesn’t work like that. it doesnt make happen, whatever you think should happen. what it does is convince you that what is actually happening, isnt actually happening. so i didnt wear those dumb training bras that summer. i felt gross, and subconsciously knew i should have been wearing them. but i didnt wear them, because i couldnt admit that what was happening was real.

once 5th grade started, i started wearing the training bras. i didnt have enough denial to overcome the embarrassment of my peers seeing me with out a bra. and it felt more uncomfortable than anything has ever felt for me before. but it made those horrid growing boobs seem smaller, by rounding them out, instead of them being a bit pokier.

And there wasn’t anything else I could have done. I continued wear bras, because as long as I got the right bras, the ones that lightly compressed or just kinda loosely held them so they moved around less instead of the ones that push up or have underwire, then it made them smaller than without one. I was so embarrassed that i would even wear them to bed so no one saw me with out a bra on underneath my shirt. I’d usually take in off once i was alone in my room, in my bed, in the dark. and every day, right after my mom woke me up, that was the first thing i put on. eventually, i stopped wearing them to bed. the discomfort i felt from wearing bras was too much.

when i learned what binders are, i did try wearing them. unfortunately, with my asthma, i could barely wear them. it sadly made it too hard for me to breathe. despite that, over the years i still tried a bunch of different binders. ive bought at least 25 different binders in only 2 years.

but back when I learned what binders were, i learned about being trans. thats when i knew, deep down, that something was wrong. despite that, it took me many more years to actually figure out that im trans. 

but to make a long story short, i figured things out, and now I’ve got my consult in only 4 days. Its what ive always wanted. And before i know it, it will have happened. And I can’t fucking wait!

#stoned thoughts #high #stoned #trans #transgender #top surgery #first post #backstory #my backstory #binding #chest binding #i’m high asf

[julien5-malfunction]

Random thought, inspired by this cheap ass, finepoint gel pen (?) I got from this store called 'normal'. And yeah! I actually like the ink and the tiny needle tip the pen has but it's like, WOBBLY? I diagnosed the issue to being caused by the ink tube being too flexible so when I press the tip aganist the paper, it bends. And it got me thinking...

U know how there are videos of "how to make a mop for graffiti" and shit like that, just DIY make supplies for graffiti. Like is there a word for that, and does it exist for regular art / office supplies. Like can I just google if other people have a solution for a flexible ink tube to make the pen useable for proper shit or am I inventing another field of diy here?

I remember back being locked up in the ward, they didn't have a single fucking pen in there and I broke the one I had by smashing it to a wall so I was left with plastic shards and the ink tube. My solution was, to go find that book someone had allready torn pages from, tear a few pages off, pick a piece of tape off the glass window, where there used to be a paper taped, I suppose. And I got yelled at for that, like really, bruh, there is nothing being held on by this piece of tape, wtf u mad for???

Rolled the book pages around the ink tube and secured with tape. I used it to write in my diary to not go insane in the insane asylum.

I remember this aikido belt motherfucker gave me his plastic straw to blow trough if I get withdrawls from tobacco (I didn't smoke tho) I have it tied inside the wire spiral of one of my notebooks, with a piece of thread I obtained from the other ward I was transferred in.

This other ward had much more things to play with, board games some watercolours and pens, paper, more books, the only guitar that had all the strings on that hospital trip and I was in 3 diffirent wards and they all had a guitar.

I decorated the paper covered pen with pattern-ed paper, decorative tape and yarn. It had a bird sticker too, that I got from a fruit. I made a cap for it too.

I don't remember if I threw it away allready in an attempt to let go of my bitter mempries of that trip, but it did run out of ink...

I kinda miss being held captive with limited supplies but the need for something and therefore having to think and invent something out of what you can find...

Same thing happen a lot as a child bc I didn't have money and I watched a lot of crafting videos and I didn't have the supplies they did but I wanted to make something cool like in the video and find something in the house that worked...

Now I have money for some things and a lot of crafting supplies but no desire to create. Nor the attention span and focus to think and plan a project like I used to be able to. Probably a symptom of exessive use and addiction to social media....

And it's killing me mentally and spiritually.

#diy art supplies #Mental addiction #ward #Prison mindset #creativity #graffiti supplies #random thoughts #office supplies #art supplies #my backstory

[witchblade]

scouted for tumblr while posting on the neopets newbies boards

#my backstory

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

while we wait.

may i offer you all a pubby?? lil bby barns?

#i would like to Squeeze Him Full Strength #look at him!!! so proud that he tracked mud everywhere!!! what a good boy!!!! #listen listen. im a cat person. but barnaby..... #in my mind ms beagle is trying to be stern but hes just So Darn Cute #we are ms beagle pov #scribble garnish #welcome home #barnaby b beagle #welcome home puppet show #no okay but real talk the potential of barnaby's backstory has me close to tears #like hes just a little orphaned puppy... he was ORPHANED #WHAT A FUCKING DETAIL TO INCLUDE LIKE???? OWIE???? #did she find him in a waterlogged cardboard box in the rain... just a lil puppy abandoned by the roadside.... #OHHHHHH IM GONNA TEAR UP IF I KEEP THINKING ABOUT IT #who would abandon such a sweet boy.... #listen im weak to animals #but im Especially weak to innocent lil bby animals who are abandoned/orphaned... #like theyre just little guys who deserve all the love in the world... pure and full of love... discarded.... #WAILING AND SOBBING AND EATING YARN LIKE SPAGHETTI

[dansidoon]

Where did you learn to draw 🧡?

I never really had a serious art teacher (just highschool art classes here and there, and even then they were sorta the get in, get out, get a credit kind). So its been a lot of art books and practice by references.

I started off with pencil, then pen, then whiteboard art. It gave my art that hatchy, sharp shading and high contrast that still sometimes bleed into my digital stuff now. So the issue now is when I stylize things that shading method overwhelms the style sometimes, ruins the Smoothness.

But yeah all this is to say I gotta learn ✨️color theory✨️ asap

(more stuff on dansiidoon, insta)

#art #artists on tumblr #my backstory #the lore #thanks for the ask!

[wheatormeat]

Ms. Mia Fey

#ppl talk alot ab the gay aa lawyers but no one ever tells you how much of the game is just unpacking ab your dead boss' crazy backstory #anyway i lov mia #i like saying her name really fast #it sounds like im meowing #mia fey #aa #ace attorney #gyakuten saiban #my art #illustration #fanart #id by @wright-phoenix

[erabu-san]

Do not separate !

#my art #genshin impact #genshinimpact #genshin impact lyney #lyney #lynette #genshin impact lynette #freminet #genshin impact freminet #I read their backstory I unlocked omg they are so precious... )):

[bluegiragi]

human.

early access + nsfw on patreon

more backstory that i wrote up for patreon heh:

Simon and Tommy had a complicated relationship as brothers. 

At a young age, Simon basically wrote himself off as a lost cause, and did the best he could to make sure at least Tommy had a chance to be a functioning human being. After all, Tommy was the gentler brother, the dreamer, the one who looked like their mother (who'd walked out on them years ago to escape their father). But Tommy got bitter, got sick of the one always being protected, being babied. He lost respect for Simon, for the way he wouldn't fight back, and in a twisted way, grew closer to his father as a way to learn how to be powerful, strong. It backfired, and Tommy got wrapped up in some bad business.

Simon's kid brother died while he was deployed. He got the news in the letter, and it broke him in a big way. In the story timeline, it was years and years ago but it still hurts like hell whenever Simon thinks about him. 

#cw: child abuse #i decided to do my own take on simon's backstory for this au #it has the same broad strokes as his canon one but at this point #i feel like ive earned the right to tweak canon #at least in this au hehe #baby simon <3 <3 <3 #he tried his best #the hc is that simon is the son who looks like his dad #and tommy was the son who looks like his mum #so theres more angst when u consider the way he probably thinks of it as the wrong son persisting #simon ghost riley #tommy riley #cod mw2 #monster 141 au #giragi art

[ace-and-ranty]

Nimona, the Comic: If you pay a little bit of attention, and you know a little about the creator, you’ll see this is a clear trans metaphor :)

Nimona, the Movie: (CLAMBERING OUT OF THE DOWN WITH CIS BUS) THIS IS A TRANS METAPHOR. ATTENTION, EVERYBODY, THIS IS A TRANS METAPHOR!

#Nimona #EPIC. #'And now you are a boy.' 'I am today >3' #'It would be easier if you were a girl :)))' #Ballister. Ballister BABY. #okay I want to know how many trans people are about to use the 'I got my gender transed by a wishing well' backstory.

[cosmosnout]

The real reason Oda had to get rid of her was not for plot convenience, but bc she would have kicked everyone’s ass. (Source: trust me bro)

#Art block auggh but must draw pretty lady aauugghh #also fr thought you mean to tell me this lady with the D. in her name wasn’t out here being an absolute menace #like I feel like she and Roger had to be in the same wavelength of fuckass crazy like cmon now #Rouge and Roger backstory when? (I am delusional) #also her being portrayed as this saintly dead mother figure feels very strange to me. boo to women being killed for plot convenience🍅🍅 #also I really tried to draw her similar to how I draw ace bc he is literally a mammas boy #copy and paste of his mom with his dads hair #AGGGHH I NEED MORE OF HERR #AND IF I CANT HAVE MORE I WILL MAKE MORE💥💥 #art #digital art #my art #fanart #drawing #digital illustration #one piece #portgas d ace #portgas d rouge #rouge #op #one piece fanart

[egophiliac]

this is basically what happened, right?

(these guys are very lucky that everyone at NRC 1) has the combined intelligence of a sack of bricks, and 2) is easily distracted by shiny things.)

#art #twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland spoilers #stage in playful land #stage in playfulland #these two are SO sleazy and i am utterly delighted by them #can't wait to find out their tragic backstory in approximately 3-4 weeks! #fortunately i have like a month to figure out how the heck to draw their hair (spoiler: i will never figure it out) #also. god. i love it whenever leona accidentally reveals his Mom Side. #he doesn't care about any of this but he WILL be tagging along to make sure no one else gets into trouble #once again he has to be the Responsible Adult and he hates it. the whimsical hat weighs heavy upon his head. #anyway this is me so excuse me while i now talk about diasomnia for three hours #but lilia being all 'kids gotta have some adventure in their lives!' is hilarious #specifically because you know silver would NEVER. #100% silver not only never snuck out but he always went to bed on time AND brushed his teeth AND flossed even when nobody made him. #lilia: aww but you should be enjoying your youth! >:c #silver: i am. i enjoy being respectful and disciplined and honoring you as my father. #lilia: #lilia: maybe i'm TOO good at raising kids #you know i was going to say none of his kids would be involved in this but i actually think malleus definitely would #he would not see it as a moral quandry though. he would just be excited to be invited along. #(the only reason he isn't there is because he was busy admiring a termite-infested beam somewhere and yuu didn't get a chance to ask him) #i mean MAYBE if lilia as his single authority figure told him no then he would have some reservations #but lilia's the one who's screaming HELL YEAH LET'S SNEAK OUT AND DEFY AUTHORITY while dabbing so moot point there #sebek would never and he would rat on everyone else. unless malleus is going in which case he's already there. #and i guess if everyone else is going silver probably would too #but he'd. y'know. feel conflicted about it.

[inknose]

just when he thought all secrets had been revealed, xie lian uncovers more shocking intrigue

#tgcf #hualian #fancomic #my art #pants are an illusion. and so is death #the rich backstory of this comic is they recently invented spiral potato in ghost city

[shuckstruck]

look at my cringe-fail werewolf. her name is Hemlock

#she has the personality of an anxious pitbull #and a backstory to match #edit: for anyone looking at this i don’t mind if u tag it as ur oc #i didn’t rly color anything so she’s pretty generic looking #no big deal if u put her in ur oc tag honestly #my art #hemlock

[peanutseagle]

I'd be excited too if my nanny had the hots for my homeroom teacher

#more content of them is NEEDED #endo i need their BACKSTORY #hope they'll dance too tomorrow #martherson #their ship name. #i decided so #martha marriott #martha sxf #spy x family #spy x family fanart #sxf #sxf fanart #becky blackbell #sxf becky #henry henderson #henry sxf #martha x henry #henry x martha #my art #fanart #digital art #sxf spoilers #spy x family spoilers

[astrolavas]

his wolfsona that he’s very proud of

#he's gonna post it on deviantart #the wolf has a 'cloned in a lab backstory' (no reason whatsoever) #the owl house #toh art #hunter toh #hunter noceda #hunter #toh hunter #hunter wittebane #my art #fanart #toh #this is not a full art but i'm swamped with school and zine work so kxjsjsk

[anthurak]

Looking back at the first episode...

And between Moxxie's "Maybe like a shitty dad... or a mob family. That's understandable"...

and Blitzo's "We're just killing a mother. We're ruining a family"...

I think it's a pretty safe bet at this point that Loona's rather specific "This kid probably sets dogs on fire. Maybe this girl gets off to bullying Australian kids online. And this guy? This guy definitely watches" spiel is almost certainly drawn from SOME kind of personal experience.

#helluva boss #helluva boss rambling #helluva moxxie #helluva blitzo #helluva Loona #my personal theory that Loona's backstory is somehow going to have EVERYONE beat in the fucked-up department #we don't know how she ended up in that orphanage...