#my banshee babe i really miss you so much

[perotovar]

into the beat of the night (ch 6) "precious"

header by the lovely @sp00kymulderr ♥

pairing: frankie morales/oc!river price (they/them) rating: E (18+) chapter warnings: swearing, marisol makes a proper introduction, river bonding with a 4 year-old (it's cute, i promise), worried/frantic dad!frankie, google translated spanish (sorry), sub!frankie, oral (m receiving), rimming, fingering (m receiving), cum eating, if i missed anything else lmk! word count: 3.7k dividers by @saradika-graphics beta: @scenaaario

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series summary: frankie thought he had himself figured out by now. he liked both men and women, had dated both in the past. but when someone that challenges what he thinks that means comes into his life, in an unlikely place, he truly learns who he is, and more importantly, who he loves.

series masterlist

“I’m positive.”

Frankie bit his lip, arms crossed over his wide chest. “I know kids aren’t really–”

“Oh, hush,” River laughed, rolling their eyes. “She’s your daughter, babe. Of course I want to meet her.”

“Alright,” Frankie nodded, a small smile appearing on his lips. He exhaled softly, taking their ring-clad fingers in his and rubbing the knuckles. “I’ll get my keys and we can go pick her up from daycare, then.”

Warmth spread through River’s chest and they nodded, leaning over to kiss Frankie’s jaw. “Lead the way.”

As they drove to Marisol’s daycare, Frankie let River take over the radio this time, promising that they could show him more of their own personal taste in music. A lot of it sounded like the stuff they played at The Night Owl, but River’s taste was more varied. He surprised himself by how much of it he ended up liking. 

“You know what that means,” River’s face lighting up with a grin from the passenger seat. 

Frankie glanced at them before turning his blinker on and continuing through the intersection. “No, what?” he chuckled.

“It means,” River started, voice full of delight and teasing, “That you’re goth.”

Confusion graced Frankie’s features as he slowed down at a red light. He looked over at them like River had grown a third eye. “But I don’t look like it?”

River rolled their eyes and laughed. “I keep telling you guys that it’s a music-based subculture. As long as you like the music, then you’re free to identify that way,” they paused. “If you want to, of course.”

A laugh bubbled its way up Frankie’s chest and he smirked. “Oh, then I am so goth.”

“You only just figured out who Siouxsie and the Banshees are, Francisco.”

“I still don’t know why she has to spell her name like that,” he mumbled as they pulled into the parking lot of the daycare.

River laughed and Frankie melted.

A giggling bundle of pink barreled into Frankie’s open arms as he knelt down to pick up Marisol. “Hey, sweetheart,” Frankie smiled, kissing her cheek. “How was your day?”

Marisol didn’t answer him, eyes transfixed on the new figure standing next to her father. Her big brown eyes traveled over River, her cheeks flushed and warm from running, and maybe a little bit from nerves. 

“This is River, honey,” Frankie said, resting her on his hip as he stood. “This is daddy’s new friend.” The two of them had decided on easing Marisol into their relationship, when they figured out a way to describe River in a way that the little girl could understand.

River’s heart melted at the two of them. Frankie was right about River not being one for kids, but seeing their boyfriend be so soft and attentive to this little girl was doing things to them.

“Hi, sweetie,” River smiled, reaching out to tug on Marisol’s dress. “This is very pretty.”

Marisol blushed and smiled, hiding her face in Frankie’s neck. 

“What do we say?” Frankie encouraged, patting her little bum.

“Thank you,” she said softly. “I like your name.”

River and Frankie exchanged soft looks before River smiled gratefully. “That’s very sweet of you, honey.”

Marisol giggled and tucked her face back into Frankie’s neck, grabbing a tiny fistful of his t-shirt. When they made it back to Frankie’s truck, River climbed back into the passenger seat while Frankie buckled Marisol into her car seat. 

“What kind of music do you like, Marisol?” River asked, looking back at her.

Marisol’s little face scrunched up in thought, taking the question very seriously. “Hmm… pretty stuff! Stuff that ballerinas dance to,” she nodded, happy with what she decided on. 

River thought about it and scrolled through their playlists on their phone. Soft piano and an ethereal feminine voice rang through the speakers of the car as Frankie got into his own seat and started the truck. He raised a brow in River’s direction as he started driving toward his apartment.

River shrugged and smiled. “Kate Bush has pretty music. And she’s a classically trained dancer, so I think it qualifies as something a ballerina would dance to.” They both looked back at Marisol to see her with her eyes shut as she let the music overtake her little body.

Frankie smiled and nodded, accepting that defense. “Alright,” he chuckled.

Marisol was currently talking River’s ear off and Frankie was horrified. His little girl was as sweet as can be, but normally very shy. River seemed to have brought her out of her shell, a fact that filled him with joy, but he didn’t want an unexpected toddler question to make River uncomfortable.

“Did that hurt?!” Marisol squealed, poking River’s nose next to one of the piercings there. River spluttered and laughed, gripping Marisol’s tiny hand in theirs to remove it from their face. 

“It did, but it doesn’t hurt anymore,” they laughed softly. “This hurt more, though.” River poked their tongue out, showing her the piercing that lay in the middle.

“Wow!! That’s so weird!” Marisol giggled.

Frankie shook his head in amusement as he cleaned off the pan he’d be using to cook dinner. This was River’s second time at his apartment, but his first time cooking for them. The first was after their first night spent together. He and River had a movie night, and his thoughts quickly drifted to how that night progressed. River on their knees in front of him while he sat on the couch, his knuckles clenched white around the throw blanket to keep from coming. Their long hair framing their face as they kissed and licked down his hard–

“Frankie? Hello…?” River grinned, standing next to him and leaning against the kitchen counter. He startled and snapped his head up to look at them. His cheeks grew warm at their smirking face, and he felt the blush spread to his neck as they held his gaze. 

“Distracted?” they whispered, stepping into his space and kissing his jaw. They delicately licked  the patch of skin on his cheek void of any facial hair.

Frankie gulped and shivered. “I–I have to cook dinner, tu amenazas,” he chuckled softly. River smiled and gave him a quick kiss before settling back against the counter. “What were you saying before?”

“Oh, right,” River said, pointing toward the living room where Marisol was playing with her Barbies. “She wants to watch ‘mermaids’, and I didn’t know what that meant, but I assume you do.”

Frankie nodded and set down the pan in the sink before drying off his hands. “Yeah, c’mere, I’ll show you where all her movies are.” He smiled, leading River back into the living room. 

Marisol now enamored with her movie and River sitting on the floor next to her, Frankie felt warmth in his chest. As he made dinner, he couldn’t help but think of this being a regular occurrence. He knew that asking River to be a parent wasn’t fair to them, and this was still a pretty fresh relationship, but he allowed his mind to wander. He wanted to catch a glimpse of what the two of them would look like a few years down the line.

“Está listo, ustedes dos,” Frankie smiled, turning the stovetop off as the food sizzled in the pan.

“C’mon, you,” River grunted as they got up, holding their hand out for Marisol to take. Marisol happily took River’s hand as they walked into the little eating nook of the apartment. River picked her up and sat her down in her chair and set a plate in front of her.

Frankie's face visibly melted at the gesture and before he could stop himself, he leaned over and kissed River’s cheek. They both froze and looked at Marisol, who was too busy making her Barbie dance and do flips to notice. River snorted and gave Frankie a wink before taking a seat across from him at the table. 

Dinner went surprisingly well. River entertained all of Marisol’s silly questions with grace and an amused smile. Frankie watched with rapt attention and a bursting heart. Marisol was a curious little bug and he loved that about her, so it surprised him that she hadn’t already asked—

“Are you a boy or girl?”

The room seemed to still as Frankie and River made eye contact. Frankie started to panic, face pinched with worry, but River just smiled and put their hand on top of his to calm him down. 

“You have long hair like a girl,” Marisol mumbled over the thumb in her mouth. 

“I do,” River chuckled. 

“But kinda sound like a boy…”

Frankie looked at River, completely lost for words. He had no idea how to change the subject but River didn’t seem to be worried. 

“Well,” River started. “Some people are princesses,” they winked, poking Marisol’s tummy and making her giggle. “Some people are princes.” They looked over at Frankie and smiled, giving him a quick once-over. “And some people are a mix of the two.”

Marisol furrowed her little brow as she listened. “So… You get dresses and capes?” 

River met Frankie’s eyes before snorting, resting their chin in the palm of their hand. “That’s right,” they smirked.

“Ugh, that’s so cool.”

Frankie visibly deflated, eyes closing softly and exhaling. River rubbed his knuckles with their thumb comfortingly. “River is really cool,” Frankie piped in, smiling softly.

“I know that, daddy.”

River’s face softened as warmth colored their cheeks. “Thank you, sweetie.” They looked over at Frankie and made a show of checking him out, silently telling him what was in store for him later.

Frankie’s chest puffed up and he grinned, checking them out in return. “Alright, conejita, it’s getting late,” Marisol whined in protest. “Hey, you told me you’d be a big girl today, remember? Head into the bathroom and get onto your step so we can brush our teeth, okay?”

Marisol deflated a little and grumpily made her way down the hall. River gave Frankie an amused look before taking his hand in their own. “C’mere,” they hummed, pulling him close. They looked up at him from their seat and gripped onto his hips and ass, squeezing appreciatively.

Frankie shivered and cupped River’s face, kissing them deeply. “Gimme five minutes,” he breathed against their lips.

River changed, sporting a tank top and boxer briefs, and started looking around Frankie’s bedroom. On top of his dresser was a selection of photos: one of him lifting Marisol into the air, both of them giggling. River smiled, before moving their eyes to the next one: an old black and white photo of a man and a woman, presumably Frankie’s parents. The last photo was the one that really caught their attention: a much younger Frankie stood ramrod straight dressed in his military fatigues with a stern look on his face. “Must be after basic training,” they hummed under their breath. Frankie’s hair was cut short, none of the curls they loved so much to be seen.

Above the photos hung two separate certificates; one for the military, and one for flight school. Frankie had told them about his job a little, but because it was through the military, he could only explain so much. He could explain the maintenance part of his job, though.

“Alright, Marisol should be falling asleep anytime, her rain sounds are on full blast,” Frankie chuckled as he came into the room and locked the door. “What’cha lookin’ at, mi amor?”

River hummed, their thumb rubbing the side of Frankie’s young face on the photo. “You were so skinny,” they frowned, setting the photo back down.

Frankie came up behind them and rested his chin on their shoulder, swaying them back and forth a little. “Yeah. I was always pretty thin. Then Marisol came along and I started eating more regularly to keep her healthy,” he chuckled, kissing River’s cheek from behind them. 

River raised a brow and turned in his arms, holding onto the sides of his stomach. “You’re telling me this only happened within the last four years?” They asked incredulously, a smirk on their lips.

“Shhh,” Frankie chuckled and pressed their lips together, humming happily into River’s mouth. “Just go with it.”

“But I like this,” River pouted, squeezing Frankie’s fuller middle lovingly. Frankie blushed, smiled, and shrugged in acceptance. “Now,” River grinned, squeezing Frankie’s ass. “On the bed.”

A shiver traveled down Frankie’s spine, and he nodded, removing his clothes as he went. He laid against the headboard, bare legs spread out in front of him. His cock was already twitching to life at the sight of River pulling their long hair out of their face and into a loose ponytail.

“You kept stressing yourself out today,” River started, crawling onto the bed and getting comfortable between the thick muscles, kissing up his leg. “How come?” Their eyes moved up to his face as they sucked a mark on the inside of his knee.

Frankie relaxed, watching River’s mouth closely. “W-wanted things to go well with you and Marisol,” he answered, resting his hand on top of theirs on his opposite thigh. “Not burn dinner,” he laughed quietly.

River hummed, eyes shutting as they nibbled on the soft flesh. They rubbed up the sides of his legs comfortingly and made eye contact with him. “Think you did just fine,” they smiled, their lips making a small pop when they let go of his thigh. “Wanna thank you, in fact,” they breathed, their mouth moving to kiss and suck at his balls softly.

“F-fuck, for what, Río?” Frankie grunted, his cock twitching violently against his lower tummy. 

“Taking care of us,” they said casually, kissing up the length of his cock before engulfing the head with their mouth and flicking their tongue over the tip. Every time the piercing in their tongue made contact with his cock, the air left Frankie’s lungs.

A long whine left Frankie’s lips as he shivered, his stomach tensing. He looked down and groaned at his cock stretching River’s mouth to its limit.

River’s mouth popped off so they could lean forward and kiss Frankie’s ribs. They curled their fingers around his shaft and pumped languidly, their mouth sucking another mark below his pec. “Quiet, baby,” River hummed. “Don’t wanna wake her, right?”

Frankie nodded frantically, trying to keep his breathing under control. “R-right,” he gasped, River’s thumb rubbing over the head just right.

“Good boy,” River smirked, kissing their way back down to his cock. They started bobbing their head up and down at an agonizingly slow pace, watching Frankie’s face the whole time. Frankie moaned quietly, one big hand cupping the back of River’s head to keep them in place, and the other braced on their tattooed shoulder.

“B-baby, fuck, your fuckin’ mouth,” he groaned, shutting his eyes and tipping his head back.

River moaned around him and subtly moved down the bed until Frankie was lying on his back, one long leg draped over their shoulder and down their back. An idea popped into River’s head, making them smirk to themself. Their mouth lifted off of his cock again and they put two of their own fingers into their mouth, making them as wet as possible. Their hand kept a steady pace, their eyes locked on Frankie’s blissed out features. His eyes were still closed and he was moaning weakly, his whole body twitching and shivering.

Slowly, they lowered their mouth back into their original position, but this time, they flicked their tongue along the inside of his foreskin and gently grazed their teeth across the exposed head. Frankie let out a louder moan, eyes shooting open to see what they were doing. River hummed and winked at him, one of their wet fingers moving between his legs and teasing around the rim of his asshole.

“Riv,” Frankie panted, face pinched in pleasure. 

River shut their eyes in bliss and bobbed their head again, their first finger pushing past the tight ring of muscle. Frankie let out a shaky exhale, his breath hitching as River went deeper.

“Fuck,” he whined, chest heaving and toes curling. River added the second finger, and watched his face as they pumped them in and out slowly. His head was pushed back into the pillow underneath, that thick neck of his taut and flushed a deep red color. 

River moved their free hand underneath one of his thighs and pushed it back until his knees were up closer to his shoulders, exposing his hole to them. They hummed around his cock, relishing in the weight of him. His obedience made them shiver as heat built in their core. They sped up the rhythm of their fingers enough to get him to moan weakly again, the wet suck of their fingers inside him loud in the otherwise quiet bedroom. 

They sucked hard around the head of his cock before pulling away. “Touch yourself,” they hummed, voice thick and lips swollen. 

Frankie was on another planet and just barely heard them. He looked at their flushed face, eyes half lidded and glossy, plush lips parted. Frankie looked beautiful. Wrecked. 

They spread their fingers slightly, keeping up the pace. Frankie’s eyes rolled back and he groaned, long fingers curling around his cock and pumping. 

“Slowly,” they commanded, removing their fingers, green eyes stern, but not unkind. They knew Frankie needed to be told what to do sometimes and it made Frankie’s heart soar. He did what he was told, slowly moving his hand over his cock.

River hummed appreciatively and held the backs of his thighs steady. “Good boy,” they grinned, collecting saliva on their tongue before spitting directly onto his hole.

Frankie gasped loudly, squeezing his cock, and looked down at River. “R-Río! Wait–”

“Shhh,” they soothed, kissing down his thigh until their tongue met the rim of his hole and teased it over the puckered skin.

“H-holy fuck, Riv,” Frankie groaned, his free hand covering his mouth so he’d stay quiet. “I-I’m gonna fucking come,” he whined, voice muffled behind his fingers, and squeezed the base of his cock to prolong the inevitable.

“Not yet,” they said casually, their pierced tongue dragging over the tight ring of muscle before venturing further in. River moaned once their tongue was inside him, their lips sucking on the rim simultaneously. They made eye contact with him, their green ones determined and nearly black with desire.

Frankie was a fucking wreck. His thighs trembled on either side of River’s head and his toes were curled so hard his feet were nearly folded in half. His entire body was covered in a thin layer of sweat, and he could barely breathe. His head felt fuzzy, and he knew he wouldn’t be able to hold on much longer. “B-baby, please, I can’t–”

River moaned and removed their mouth from him. They licked their lips and wiped the back of their hand over their mouth to collect any left over saliva. They dragged their knuckles over his hole teasingly before pressing the pads of their fingertips back inside him. Frankie whimpered and bit down onto his hand as he looked at them pleadingly.

“You wanna come on my face, baby?” River said softly, soothingly. Frankie’s nearly purple cock twitched violently in his hand and he nodded frantically.

“P-please, yes, I–”

River chuckled softly as they lowered their face toward his cock, exposing their pierced tongue to him, eyes shut softly.

Frankie groaned and started pumping his cock quickly, aiming it toward their face. His fist was practically a blur, the amount of pre-cum covering his cock working in his favor. 

“Oh, mierda. Ay dios mío...” Frankie whined, voice pitched up an octave or two before his cock burst, thick ropes of come painting River’s face. Frankie kept stroking himself until there wasn’t anything left. He panted heavily, little whines and whimpers leaving him sporadically.

River smiled, licking the cum off their lips and chin before wiping the rest off with their fingers and sucking them clean. “Good boy, good fuckin’ boy,” they hummed, crawling between his legs so they could kiss Frankie deeply. 

Frankie moaned at the taste of his spend on their tongue, his big hands cradling the sides of their face. He was still catching his breath, but didn’t want to stop. River came up for air, a big smile on their lips as they pressed their forehead to his. They just breathed for a moment, letting Frankie come back down to earth.

“You okay?”

Frankie blinked up at them, eyes half lidded and shiny. He hummed, his body feeling fuzzy and satisfied, heavy. “Yeah,” he smiled. “That was… wow,” a dopey giggle escaping him.

River snorted and kissed the corner of his mouth. “First time someone’s done that?”

Frankie nodded, pulling them down until they were chest to chest. He rubbed up and down their back. “Yeah, I’m usually the one doing that sort of thing.” River hummed in response, laying their head against his broad chest and getting comfy. “Speaking of which,” Frankie tapped their shoulder, then his own chest. “Come up.”

River shook their head. “No, honey, it’s not transactional, I wanted to–”

“Get. Up. Here.”

River shuddered and obeyed, crawling up Frankie’s torso until they were sitting on his lap. “You sure?” 

“Mmm, positive,” Frankie grinned, squeezing their thighs.

Frankie startled awake, something loud crashing in the kitchen. He looked around his bedroom briefly, arm reaching out toward River’s side. When that side felt cold, he frowned and looked toward the open bedroom door. Marisol’s giggles drifted into the room and he relaxed, throwing the sheets off his tired body. He grunted as he bent over to grab his underwear and the t-shirt he was wearing yesterday.

He yawned and scratched his head, curls messy and sticking up in every direction. He slowly walked down the hall towards the kitchen. He stopped in his tracks when he heard River speaking quietly to Marisol. 

“No, we’ll get you some orange juice instead,” they chuckled, the sound of a ceramic mug being placed on the kitchen counter.

Marisol shook her head and scrunched her face.

“No? Well, what would you like instead?”

Frankie leaned against the wall and crossed his arms over his chest. He stopped next to the kitchen, staying out of sight, a smile growing on his lips.

The refrigerator door opened and Marisol grunted quietly, like she was reaching for something.

“Ahh, apple juice. I agree, this is way better,” River whispered, like it was a big secret to be revealed. 

Marisol giggled and Frankie rested his forehead on the wall. His heart thundered in his chest as a wide smile grew on his face.

#pedro pascal characters #pedro pascal cinematic universe #frankie morales #frankie morales fanfiction #frankie morales smut #frankie morales fluff #frankie morales fic #triple frontier fanfiction #triple frontier fic #triple frontier fluff #triple frontier smut #triple frontier au #oaksfics

[hanaonesflower]

“Leave a message after the tone”

HQ!! x JJK x FREE!

Voice Memos: Where they left things off…

(Kinda angsty but no harsh endings!!)

✩ ✩ ✩ ✩ ✩ ✩ ✩ ✩ ✩ ✩ ✩ ✩ ✩ ✩ ✩ ✩ ✩ ✩

“Hey, uh yeah well I just thought I should call to say goodnight. My head is pounding like the motherfucker but I don’t think I could sleep peacefully if I don’t say something. I’m sorry I stormed out of the house like that and went drinking. I miss you a lot. I’ll come over in the morning, probably with a hangover. But I just want your forgiveness in person, knowing I probably don’t even deserve it. I love you.” 

—• Suna Rintaro, Miya Osamu, Geto Suguru, Rei Ryurazaki

“Babe, you’re sleeping now aren’t you? Have a good night sleep, I’m going to crash at a buddy’s house for the night. I know what I did before leaving must have really hurt you and I called to apologize but you didn’t pick up. You don’t deserve to have a drunkard apologizing to you anyway. Can I come over tomorrow? Please?” 

—• Nishinoya Yuu, Kageyama Tobio, Megumi Fushiguro, Haruka Nanase

“I– I honestly had this whole thing plastered into my head but now I’m at a loss for words. What I did was wrong… you don’t deserve to be treated like that. I was a coward and took the quick way out. I shouldn’t be saying that you deserve a better man when you only wanted me to the better man. I see and understand my shortcomings, it is funny because you were the one that helped me get there. Yet here I am, so pathetic. I don’t deserve you, but please give me a chance to redeem myself. Call me back? I love you so much.” 

—• Oikawa Tooru, Iwaizumi Hajime, Itadori Yuji, Rin Matsuoka

“Hi, Y/n, I hope everything went well for you today. I hope you crushed at finals like you swore you would. I hope that presentation went well today. Did you get a good grade? I bet you did. But, I meant to call and apologize about last night. It wasn’t fair for you for me being saying those things. I stormed off claiming I wanted space in my room. Im sure you weren’t having a good time either. Being apart from you is torture. Can I please tell you this in person?”

—• Kuroo Tetsuro, Inumaki Toge, Asahi Shiina

“Y/n, it is killing me a little bit that you’re not picking up the phone. I hope you’re doing okay. I hope that at this very moment you are safe. You may or may not listen to this voice mail, but I’m going to say what I will say later; treat this as a rehearsal. Y/n, I’m a coward, I saw the look on your face when I lashed out at you and god, I think I was in pain, too. I say things without thinking and I had the luxury of not suffering through the consequences, regardless of how I usually don’t say much, but that was before you. I put more thought into my words, more intentions and I always try to be kind and respectful because of you now, but unfortunately, sometimes I let myself slip back into my old, bad habits. I’m trying my best to change, completely, for the better. I’m lucky and grateful that you are patient with me, although I’m already getting so much more from you than I actually deserve. If you’re listening to this, you get the gist of what I want to say, please be safe until I get to you later today. I love you, baby, more than you know.” 

—• Ushijima Wakatoshi, Nanami Kento, Sosuke Yamazaki, Makoto Tachibana

“You can’t stay mad at me forever… actually yeah you can. Listen, babe. I’m so sorry for the way I acted. I was foolish and inconsiderate of your feelings and now I’m beating myself up for it. So please don’t call your brothers, they might actually kill me. But hey, I want to see you and look you in the eye and give you a genuine apology. It’s the least I can do for you in this moment before I start making the drastic and necessary changes in myself. I hope you can give me that chance. I have to go now, the boss is screeching in the background, it’s probably good that you can’t hear them, their voice is like a banshee. Don’t make dinner, I’ll bring you some gooood sushi baby. See you later, I love you, darling.” 

—• Bokuto Koutaro, Akinori Konoha, Gojo Satoru, Kisumi Shigino

#💌hanaonesflowerworks #haikyu imagines #haikyu headcanons #haikyu x reader #haikyu x you #jjk imagines #jjk headcanons #jjk x reader #jjk x you #free! imagines #free! headcanons #free! x you #free! x reader #fluff fluff n more fluff #if these boys were to send me a voicemail like that I will sOB #luv them sm 💞🥰✨ #haikyu angst #jjk angst #free! angst

[jupitercomet]

Hey, bugs!

Sorry I'm only writing now, just the last few days I was completely exhausted. I barely had the strength and energy to do anything, but today I'm feeling better (completely due to me skipping lectures yesterday and staying home, I'm sure of it).

I'm so happy you've finally finished everything for uni and you're taking requests. Though I have more of a question - what would the boys pets would be? Would they prefer different pets in each universe? (I kind of can see Jake being a cat dad, because cats can be very independent and a but of narcissistic asshole /and I love them for it!/ so Jake kind of relates and admires them?)

I just read the summaries of your new series and I cannot wait for the Jake and Bob ones! I can feel the angst galore that we'll have in both of them and just 🤤

Not that I'm not excited to read about Bradley! It's just that baker!character/reader and second chance trop are something of a kryptonite for me!

Anyway, how are you? For which of your new series are you most excited? And how do you plan to spend the break? Do you have some exciting plans or are you just going to restm?

oh my gosh, literally don't apologize, you're totally good!! I'm glad you're feeling better today

and ooh that's such a good question! I definitely think they would have different pets for each universe:

I think tdbj!Jake would be the cat dad (actually scratch that, cat uncle) like whatever I decide my Ferguson equivalent to be, he's the uncle

since the tmobg!boys are in college I don't see them having a bunch of pets but I picture them all parenting a team hamster or something. her name is Babe Fucking Ruth (Ruth for short) and the guys take surprisingly good care of her

mitd!Bradley has exotic salt water fish which are currently nameless because "why the fuck would I name fish I can't even tell apart?" Toots already has names for them though and she talks to them which makes Bradley think she's actually insane

onv!Jake I picture having a really intimidating dog like a rottweiler or a doberman named Harley (like a Harley-Davidson motorcycle). angel babied the shit out of him when they were still together so he's not really a great guard dog anymore much to Jake's chagrin but Harley's insanely territorial of angel so Jake feels that, ultimately, he's protective of the only person that matters anyway

finally sts!Bob has a super old rescue cat named Maggie. half of her teeth are missing, she's partially blind in one eye, and meows like a banshee but Bob loves her with his entire heart and his phone is just full of pictures of her. sweet pea learns how to make her homemade wet cat food and Bob is like "I'm gonna marry this woman"

and yes the ANGST!!

I'm pretty good! I finally got over being sick so that's exciting. honestly I'm excited for all the boxer aus like idk if I have a favorite yet. and I'm planning on seeing Avatar and going to the zoo with some friends this weekend which I'm super excited for. how have you been? have you been able to do anything fun?

#uthd— asks #tdbj— asks #tmobg— asks #mitd— asks #onv— asks #sts— asks #acatwriteshere #what's up doc

[la-cocotte-de-paris]

Rules: answer 20 questions and tag 20 blogs you’d love to get to know better!

Tagged by: @gayvillainerainera (open tag hehe and it looked fun!)

Name: Katie

Pronouns: she/her

Zodiac: leo sun, sagittarius moon, virgo rising

Height: 5'3" (if anyone makes a short joke I will bite you)

Time: 00:59 bby

Nationality: Irish babe

Favorite band: Oh man idk, I do love Måneskin and The 1975, ADORE Florence + The Machine (I never know to list the group as a band or just focus on Florence but I adore the music either way, and if you weren't gonna read it in this category, you'd read it in the next) and La Femme, love me some Cocteau Twins, but I've been getting into Siouxsie and the Banshees, Sisters of Mercy, Type O Negative lately! Also vibe with The Radio Dept. And much more tbh but the list will legit keep going so I'll shut up now hahaha :P

Favorite artist: Outside of the aforementioned, Lana Del Rey. Also love The Weeknd.

When you created your blog: Originally in like 2014 or something?? But my blog got flagged for no damn reason back in like early 2020 so then I set up this one. Still occasionally use the other one, but mainly to reblog specific things/signal boost, given I had a sizeable follower count.

The last thing you googled: Madeira famous drink (the answer I was looking for was poncha)

Lucky number: Not telling!

Other blogs: @mademoiselle-katie (the OG blog that is like an old abandoned saloon which is frequented by ghosts rip; if I like one of your posts, that's the url you see). There are some others but I never really use them. @la-fxmme-damnee was a kinkier one I made but I had to keep logging in and I am lazy so. Not bothered to keep it up unless I get traction there lmao.

Why I chose my url: I felt like a change and was watching an old Edwige film where her character was accused of being a "coquette", and I sorta can behave like a coquette (in the original sense, not the Internet Type™ ) and wanted something a little dark, so added "malefique" bc it felt right. I can indeed be an evil coquette, or a nightmare dressed like a daydream (sorry to use the lyric but like...it is lowkey me lol).

How many people you're following: 1,024

How many followers: 1,122 (on this blog, but the OG has 1,192 and a history blog I seldom use now has 1.5k)

Average hours of sleep: Lord knows, nowadays between 7 and 9 I think.

Instruments: My voice 😌 I used to play violin and piano but gave those up. Did tin whistle in primary school lmao. Sorta harmonica (keep losing the harmonica bc I'm an idiot fml). Have been considering doing harp - for a variety of reasons.

Currently wearing: big, fluffy pyjama top and fluffy pyjama bottoms

Dream trip: GOD SOOOOOOO MUCH!!!!!!! Various destinations across mainland Europe, but I'd really love to see the Nordic countries and the midnight sun/aurora borealis (depending on time of year). <3 Mexico, Cuba, Thailand and India would also be super cool!!! There are some others too but I've already talked too much :P

Fav food: omg sis I love food way too much, Sicilian olives, hummus, kabanossi, brie cheese, fettucine alfredo, pizza, ratatouille, this ratatouille lasagna recipe my mom makes, blinis, smoked salmon... <3

Fav song: okay i have several atm: Passaccaglia by Ennio Morricone, Dominion by Sisters of Mercy, Christian Woman by Type O Negative, Bela Lugosi's Dead by Bauhaus, Cat People by David Bowie. I have many others including all-time faves but these are current ones.

Three fictional universes I wanna live in: none thank you (that I can currently think of).

I shall tag: @little-miss-scare-all666 @bodhitreebluebird @neednottoneed @sonybuzz42 @bouncing-flowers @jazz-vampire @mirandasinclairs @blackwoodbanshee @cafeomancer @catherinebronte (if you guys wish to, ofc!! no presh if not), and anyone else who'd like to do it! <3 It's great fun!

#tag games #i love these little things hehe #yes i've a wide and diverse taste in music i know this

[yenvengerberg]

LADIES MEME: [3/8] supernaturals > lydia martin

#lydia martin #lydiamartinedit #teen wolf #twedit #teenwolfedit #fytwolf #teenwolfgifs #userlisa #forbescaroline #scottstiles #tuserdee #usersameera #chewieblog #bbelcher #cinemapix #userstream #ladiesmeme #*gifs #my banshee babe i really miss you so much #1k

[starshipsofstarlord]

All mine

liam dunbar x reader / masterlist

summary; alec, scott’s new beta has a thing for liam’s girl, and sufficed to say, liam is anything but happy about the predicament / warnings; jealousy, smut, some choking, fucking in a playground, daddy kink, mentions of masturbation, mentions of phone sex, mentions of exhibitionism, oral sex (fem receiving).

the boy with anger issues was feeling a rage boil in his veins; they were in scott’s home, he had came back from college for a break, and thus, alec had joined in meeting with their alpha, though, not all his attention was reprised upon said pack leader.

there was a movie flashing upon the screen, you sat cross legged on the couch, whilst liam had been sent to the kitchen to grab a bowl of popcorn. he could feel his hand putting amble pressure on the plastic bowl, as he watched you explain every dumb thing occurring in the motion picture film.

alec was acting clueless on purpose, he could tell, more so since when he had first joined the pack, he had made such moves on you. and spoiler, eventually they had been successful. you were the same age as scott, meaning that you too had returned to beacon hills for your half term clause in the higher education, and liam wanted you to spend every moment with him, not this stray.

it took all his supernatural strength to restrain the growl threatening to rumble from his chest, his claws bent into the flesh of his palms, drawing a pooling of blood to the tether down from the self inflicted wound. scott smelt the blood, and wrinkled his nose at the scent that invaded his nostrils; he thought liam had his issues under control, but supposedly not entirely.

he couldn’t help himself, alec was trying his best, slyly glancing down your top, and he got he was only a hormonal teenage boy, same as him, but you were his girl. a rumble, resembling the natural force of thunder echoed around the living space, drawing all eyes, human and otherwise, in his direction.

the growl that had erupted from his chest had been possessive, a warning to the young, adopted beta, who quickly adjourned his arm away from the back of the couch, and shuffled from right beside you.

“li, are you good?” in an instant you removed yourself from where you were sat, walking towards him, and smoothing his shoulders over with your palms, watching as he heavily breathed. amber eyes flickered up to you, making you gulp; you now understood what had him so relentless and blunt with his aggression.

“i want to leave.” it wasn’t a question, it was a defiant statement. in turn, you nodded, grasping anything you needed, such as you jacket, and pulling it over your arms, liam quickly heading out, without bidding either of the boys a goodbye.

“see ya.” you waved at the pair, you would apologise for liam’s behaviour later to scott, he of course understood the situation nevertheless, he had been his alpha for a long time now. a hand grasped you as soon as you exited, pillowing roughly into your skin as he dragged you down the street, his pace quick and daring.

“you think i didn’t notice that beta’s eyes drifting down to your cleavage or him practically pawing for your attention.” he had stopped the two of you outside of a playground, you gulped, listening to him with an adjacent inclination.

“liam, there’s no need to be jealous.” your words had the priority of calming his angered exterior, though it happened that you had done rather the opposite. there was a firm line deposited between his dark brows, a frown that was aimed towards you directly.

“me, jealous? oh no, i know that you’re mine, but it comes to the question, do you?” he bit his lip, tensing the bridge of his nose as he moved his face closer to your own. “for all i know, at college, you don’t even let anyone know that you’re in a relationship, it could be your little secret, so you can fuck whomever you want.”

“that’s something i’d never do, you know that!” his accusations were flimsy, that much was liable, though although knowing that all his words came out of a place of secluded insecurity, you still felt the necessity to defend yourself. if you played his game, it would make him subconsciously doubt himself, and possibly believe the things that he was saying were true.

“do i?” the beta pried. liam made directories closer towards you, taking steps to discern your defence, letting his hand ravel up, and close around the front of your neck. your breath instantly hitched, as he wordlessly stated the power he had over you; not to mention, he was stronger, and he was irked, meaning that he would go to any lengths to prove his point, or lack of one.

“liam.” your hands came up to scratch at the exterior of his, worried that he would do some prominent damage, but rather than releasing his grip, he tightened his fist, triggering a hitch in your breath, and a uncoordinated, surprising moan to fly from your lips, as though your body was inherently howling at him for more.

“does my girlfriend like that? i think she likes daddy having his hand around her throat, don’t you baby? are you daddy’s dirty girl?” his slick words made your brain disintegrate into a contortion of confusion; more specifically, riddled with uncertainty, searching for a reason as to why his mature words were affecting you so.

there was no question about the matter, he was well adorned with the specifics of how it was affecting you. the reverberating of your heart thumped in his ears, like drums of a sacred matter, telling him how your hormones crazed, thundering with potential submission, that alternately had your knees quaking, fighting to remain standing.

then, there was the intoxicating aroma that scaled up to his nose from between your legs. that alone was a dead give away, he was lucky that it hadn’t killed him in the dead of night yet. being apart from you for so long had drove him borderline insane, one touch from you had him swooning, wanting nothing more for your hands to drift and intimately pet him.

phone calls, as erotic as some of them were, was just enough. the two of you were sectioned off for education in different counties, the distance pained him, in more ways than one. sometimes he’d wake up with a throbbing appendage between his thighs, begging for attention, more specifically, yours.

his hand got by, completing the job, but it wasn’t the same as the feeling of your sweet velvet walls encasing him likes an umbrella pouch, hugging his shaft tight as he rammed his length inside of you, preening moans of ecstasy out of your sinful mouth. the thought of such scenarios would have hun instantly hard in the school showers, leaving him frustrated for the rest of the day.

and though you had returned for a couple of weeks, he remained prominently stressed, never having enough contact with your skin that he had missed so much. he wished for nothing more than to spend it in a godforsaken rut, trapping you in the confines of his bed as he thrust in and out of you, but it so happened that isn’t how your return had panned out.

the luxury of the bed was not present, in its place was the soft breeze prickling at your skin, making every lingering, and restraining touch that he gave to it that more sensual. it was like nature was biting at your skin, plucking up the courage to adorn your flesh in small bumps, coercing your nipples into being erect, although, that was admittedly not all down to the wispy air.

your boyfriend had turned you on, his methods of doing so far different from anything that he had ever embraced before. whom would have ever thought that the once youngest member of the mccall pack would not forlorn in his youth, but instead want to demean his title as something as sexual as ‘daddy’? you sure as didn’t, but you couldn’t deny, it was kind of hot.

okay, more than hot, a lot more. “answer me y/n.” that’s right, you had gotten swept away with this whole new side to your partner, to say that you were drooling was an understatement, if he pointed it out, you’d blame it on him choking you. choking you! damn, he really had been reading up on some kinky shit whilst you were away.

“i do.” it was an honest answer, traded from you to him. though, it wasn’t entirely what he wanted to hear, you recognised that as he promptly squeezed your air way, causing your tongue to dip out of your mouth as you momentarily gasped for an ounce of breath. to spare you a second to respond, he pardoned his grip, stroking down the side of your face with the back of his stern hand.

“answer properly this time babe, else, i’ll fuck you over the swing set.” gulping, you locked eyes with liam, rubbing your thighs together at his prospect, inhaling heavily, as you felt him soothe his thumb rub upon the crevice of your chin, moisturising your own saliva into your skin.

“i love you choking me, daddy.” the word had a strange affect on your body as it rolled almost effortlessly off your tongue. instantly, verbalising the phrase had you feeling meek under the cold gaze of your boyfriend, a smirk ruling his face, as he clasped his knuckles into the dips of your waist, tugging you close.

“good girl.” he ushered the words into your ear as though he were a pro at doing so, lowering his palms to grab both your ass cheeks, a shocked squeal clawing out of the colander of your throat. “but i’m still going to fuck you over it, and i expect you to grasp onto the chains like you’re holding on for your life, and wail like a banshee that you are all mine.”

a slither of a sound, radiating utter betrothal escaped your withering lips, it was something between noise of a whimper, and a small moan. liam took that, and rightfully so, as approval to proceed with his intentions, and thus, he lead you through the gravel of the empty playground, directing his footsteps to the swings, and pushing you to be in front of him.

he bent your waist a little, so that you were hunched over, offering the perfect angle to generate pleasure for the both of you, as he began to tug your jeans down, letting the tight material meet with the croons of your ankles, and remain tethered around them.

“shit, you’ve already soaked through your panties baby.” liam soothed his fingers over the wet patch that opted through the thin material, brushing directly over your sensitive bundle of nerves, causing your mouth to wantonly drop open, in a silent beckon for more. “i can smell you too, you know, and damn, do you smell fucking divine.”

“daddy please.” the beg fell comfortably from you, there was no sudden recital to saying it once more. peculiarly, it felt natural, the dynamic between you and your partner being a stable structure to begin exploring further aspects that spectated in intimacy.

“sit on the seat, daddy will help you out darling.” trailing around the side of the metal structure, you carefully strode to do as liam has said, perching your ass on the swing, it lightly swaying from the impact of your weight upon the small dipped hammock. “there we go.”

liam knelt, scathing his covered knees upon the ground, as he ran his eager palms along the insides of your thighs, plucking at the band of your panties, before shuffling them down far enough so that he had all the access that he hungered for. the brisk whim that waded through the nighttime air had your pussy clenching, feeling the cold integrate against your folds, as liam puckered his lips.

he blew hot air upon your labia, enforcing your grip around the malleable metal chains to tighten, as you lightly shuffled the way that you were sat, spreading your legs a little wider, as your toes scratched relentlessly inside your socks, digging the front of your sneakers into the tarmac below.

your boyfriend leant forwards, swiping his tongue up your folds, causing you to press your head back, as you airily sighed from the contact, loving the way that his tongue delved around the area of your clit, swirling the bud in his mouth, as his teeth gently pinched the sensitive fumble of flesh.

“li- ah, daddy.” he had nipped at your outer lips, serving his actions as a form to correct how you had labelled him. “fuck, you’re so good with your tongue- shit.” his tongue slipped down into your entrance, thrusting the part of himself in and out of you, as you almost fell out of the swing seat.

“mmh.” your so called daddy hummed, sucking once more on your clit, before pulling his head away, as he stood, dragging you with him to force you to stand, delving his saturated tongue into the depths of your mouth, giving you no other option than to taste yourself on his buds. “what do you say baby?” his hand crawled into your hair as he bit his lip, staring with heavy lids at your flushed expression.

“thank you daddy.” a strong nod, he swiftly rotated you around, giving a light smack to your ass cheek, pinching the flesh, as he hurriedly undressed his bottom half, after fishing a loose packaged condom out of his back pocket. his tongue toyed with his top lip, as he ripped open the plastic square, rolling the condom onto his erect cock, giving himself a couple of jerks, as he steadied himself behind where you had hunched over once more.

he grasped his heavy cock, sliding his length through your smothered folds, teasing you as he tapped your clit, resting his hips flush against your own, as he pressed inside of you, causing an elongated string of obscene sounds to cast out of your mouth, playing a tune out of your melodically fawned lips.

a grunt tore itself out of his chest, as he clenched his fine jaw, digging his thumbs into your ass cheeks, as he began to move; delving deep within you, before pulling out of your tight walls, and rutting himself back inside of you. “fuck, feels so good da- ah!”

your natural sounds of pleasure drowned the surrounding area in an epitome of adulterated musings. adjoined with the sounds of liam’s skin slapping against your own, it was a surprise that no one had intervened, nor walked by. though, liam would have heard if they were in a nearby radius, with his supernatural hearing, that he had gotten through a set of canines digging urgently into his wrist, as he hung solemnly off the side of the hospital.

“you’re all mine, you hear that? those frat boys can keep their pervy gazes off of my girl, otherwise i guess i’ll just have to pay you a visit, and fuck you loud enough for anyone to hear.” he began panting, flowing his breath down upon your lower back. “yeah, you like that idea baby girl, how about i take over in the lecture hall and bend you over that desk, drilling into your tight cunt in front of every one so that they know that you belong to me?”

his half conceived promises, his taunting of you had you rolling closer to the edge, backing your hips backwards as you urgently met with his thrusts, forcing him to hip deeper into your cervix, a light growl prowling out of his chest, as he leant against you, angling his waist lower as he thrust upwards, his chest flat against your back.

“yes- fuck! please daddy, i wou- love that. love for you to fuck me for everyone to see, fill me with your cum, make me cu-um.” his heated breath strained against your skin, as your eyes fluttered, feeling succumbed to a white flush inside your veins, your body halting with it’s stability, resting helplessly over the swing seat, a she kept you steady.

“all mine.” your boyfriend stated, as he made you fall over the edge, ravenously thrusting into you to chase his own high. “gonna fucking cum.” a minor roar yelped out of his mouth, as his eyes strung shut, his shoulders relaxing as he emptied his seed into the condom, pulling out of your sopping cunt, as he removed the layer of protection, throwing it successfully in a bin a few feet away.

hazily, you went to stand, liam helping you pull your bottoms up, as he did so to himself too. he held you up, as he hoisted a passionate kiss onto your lips, a satisfied smile on his face once he pulled away. “i miss you so much when you’re away, i love you y/n/n.”

an appeased expression faulted your expression, as you reached up to entwine your hands together at the back of his neck. “i’m all yours li, or should i call you daddy?” you teased, causing a blush to fathom the apples of his cheeks. he looked down, an embarrassed poise covering his face.

“shut up.” he jokingly prompted, wrapping his arm around your shoulders as he began to walk you home, as you continued to tease him about his newly revealed kink, or multiple.

#liam dunbar smut #liam dunbar x reader #liam dunbar x you #liam dunbar oneshot #liam dunbar fanfic #liam dunbar fanfiction #liam dunbar imagine #liam dunbar imagines #liam dunbar x y/n #liam smut #dylan sprayberry x reader #dylan sprayberry #imagines #imagine #xreader #teen wolf fanfiction #teen wolf #teen wolf x reader #teen wolf x you #teen wolf fandom #teenwolf #teen wolf smut #teen wolf x reader smut #tw smut #teen wolf imagines #teen wolf one shot #teen wolf prompt #teen wolf blurb #teen wolf liam x reader #liam dunbar ff

[whiskynottea]

An Interruption in the 1st Law of Thermodynamics Ficlet -- All the Time in the World

A/N: @wickedgoodbooks came to my inbox yelling ‘GOOFBALLSIES’, so here they are! Another thermodynamics ficlet. I hope you enjoy reading this as much as I enjoyed writing it!

AO3

(You can find the main story here and on AO3)

                                                     ~~~~~~

“How is she?” 

My voice came a bit too loud, my breath too short. Before I had time to walk into the room, Jamie rushed to me and crushed me against his chest in a smothering hug. We had hung up less than ten minutes ago but I wanted to make sure that nothing had changed while I was trying to find my way to the waiting room.

“So? Do we have any news?” I asked again with the little breath I had left, wiggling in his arms so I could see him. His auburn locks were falling haphazardly on his forehead and the lack of sleep was evident in his eyes. 

He’d come back from Michigan a week ago, determined not to miss Jenny’s delivery, and I joined them during the weekend. We spent the majority of our time with Jenny and Ian, following Dr Haffer’s orders and taking long walks in the city, but kept the nights to ourselves, locked into the small guest room of Jenny and Ian’s apartment. Time seemed to expand in the little room, like every time we eliminated the space between us. We lived in every second, every minute, drinking in each other -- the murmur of our voices not coming through speakers, the caress of breath on bare skin, the feel of our bodies coming together. The feeling of being home. 

When Sunday night came and Jenny wasn’t in labour yet, Jamie walked me to the train station because I couldn’t skip Monday’s practical. I saw him raising his hand through the window, mouthing ‘I love you’ and once again, I left a part of my heart with him. The biggest part, if I was to judge by the way my chest was caving in and my irregular breathing. It was always like this when one of us had to go and I supposed if I wasn’t used to it yet, I never would.

However, here I was again, only two days later, after receiving a call from a Jamie in the middle of the night. Hovering between excitement and panic he informed me way too loudly that they were on their way to the hospital. I had taken the first train to Edinburgh.

Jamie was a lot calmer now and he was tracing lines on my shoulder blades to calm me as well. 

“Nah,” he smiled and planted a kiss on my forehead. His gaze moved to my lips and a moment later his mouth was on mine. When we broke apart he was smiling.  “We’re still waiting, but any time now…”

I couldn’t stop the grin from my face. “You’ll be an uncle,” I finished his sentence.

“Aye,” he beamed. “Jen will have wee lad. Can ye imagine, Sassenach?”

I thought of the thousand speculations we had made with Jenny over the phone during the last seven months. It was ridiculous, really, how the image of the baby changed according to our whim. First, it had Jenny’s blue eyes and Ian’s brown hair, then Ian’s warm eyes and Jenny’s elegant nose, after that Jenny’s black hair and Ian’s cheekbones. Jenny always ended up saying that she only wanted their baby to be healthy. Healthy and happy. I couldn’t wait to see the amazing mum she’d become.

“A little boy,” I murmured, biting the smile on my lips. “It feels like a miracle.”

Jamie grimaced. “Ian told Jenny so, about two hours ago. It didn’t go well.”

I laughed before cringing at the thought of my friend’s ordeal. “That bad?”

“‘What a miraculous pain indeed’, were her exact words.” I chuckled because that did sound like Jenny. “She was almost there once, but nothing. She got a bit disappointed after that. But the doctor said ‘tis normal for a first-time mum to labour for fourteen to twenty hours. We’re still at fifteen.”

“She going to make it and once she holds him in her arms she’ll forget everything else.”

“You think so? She’ll forget all about the pain?” Jamie doubted as he took my hand and lead me to the chairs. 

“No,” I said, sitting down. “Science doesn’t back up the claims that women forget the pain of childbirth. It’s a myth. What I meant was that she won’t care anymore.”

“I dinna think she cares for the pain that much now, either. She just wants the baby to be okay.”

“That’s our Jenny.”

It was at that moment when Jenny’s scream pierced the air. Jamie shot out of his chair and started pacing back and forth. 

“Babe,” he said in a low voice after a minute or two, coming to a stand in front of me. “I was thinking…” he trailed off. “Now that I know…” He swallowed and ran a hand through his hair. “Ye ken…”

“What?” I stood up, alarmed. “Jamie, what is it?”

“I ken we’ve never talked about that and I’m getting ahead of myself. I dinna think that’s the place where we should talk about it for the first time either… ‘Tis hardly romantic. But… Seeing Jenny… I dinna want ye to go through this pain, mo chridhe.”

“What do you mean?” I took a step back, frowning.

“Jenny is a tough one and yet ye heard how she just screamed... I dinna think I’ve ever heard her screaming, apart from when she attacked Ian and me like a wee banshee at Lallybroch when we were children.” 

“Screaming is good,” I tried to reassure him. “It releases tension.”

“Aye, maybe. But ye, going through this? I dinna think I can bear your pain, Sassenach. It will tear right through me.” 

“What are you saying, James Fraser?” I said, my tone ominous and my hands on my hips. “You mean to say that your sister is tougher than I am? That I couldn’t handle giving birth? What is that supposed to mean?”

Jamie’s eyes got wide, then wider, black eating up the blue. “No, I didna mean… I hardly thought of comparing…”

“Well?”

“All I meant to say is that I don’t know what I would do if it were you screaming in there. I wish I could protect ye from this pain but I won’t. I can do nothing about it. So I was thinking…”

“Jamie,” I interrupted him. “You could be in there, with me. Like Ian is with Jenny. You could hold my hand. You could brush my hair off my forehead or wipe off my sweat or whatever else husbands do when their wives are in labour. You could be by my side. You could be there.” I cupped his face, forcing him to look down at me. “I don’t care about the pain as long as I can crush your hand with every contraction.” I paused, thinking, then added, “And as long as you won’t say that you know what I’m going through.”

He laughed. “Aye, I can do that.” 

His smile was sweet as I pressed my lips on his. Our kiss was tender, a promise for a future resembling a vague painting -- the colours intermingling, the figures taking every form we could imagine. 

“So I take it that you want children?”

“Aye,” he said and the light blush on his cheeks turned him to an insecure teenager, uncertain if he’d said the right thing to his first love. “You?”

“Yes,” I smiled and kissed him again. “Just not yet, okay? We have our degrees to get and, you know… Live on the same continent.”

He laughed and shook his head. “We have all the time in the world. I just want you to know that that you don’t need to go through this if ye don’t want to. If we want children we can adopt…”

I ran my fingers against the stubble on his cheek, the smooth cheekbone, marvelling into the man he was becoming. “We could have children and also adopt one. To give them a home and the love they deserve.”

Jamie beamed and leaned into me to kiss me again when an awkward cough broke us apart. I turned reluctantly around to see Brian carrying three cups of coffee. 

“Welcome back lass,” he said with a nod as he handed me a cup. 

“How are you?” I asked as I took two coffees from him, giving one to Jamie. 

“Impatient.” His eyes twinkled with mirth. “Any news from our girl?”

“Apart from a scream, no. Nothing yet.” Jamie’s countenance changed again, his concern coming forward as his eyebrows almost touched above his nose. He was adorable.

“Dinna fash, lad. ‘Tis normal. Yer Ma was in labour for eighteen hours before Jenny came to the world.”

The mention of Jamie’s mother remained suspended in the air, vibrating with anguish and loss. 

She should be here, I thought. The tall woman who read The Cricket on the Hearth to her children and smelled like almonds. 

I saw the pain on Jamie’s face before he retreated further into himself, as he usually did when guilt attacked his common sense over the loss of his mother and brother. I grabbed his hand and squeezed tight, in a desperate move to bring him back to the present. I wanted him to know that he wasn’t alone. He should stop punishing himself for what wasn’t his fault. He gifted me with a sad smile that wasn’t enough but was better than nothing.

I kept his hand in mine, trying not to sigh. Once, at Lallybroch, I had vowed to Ellen to take care of her red-headed lad. I breathed in deeply and renewed my promise, extending it to encompass all the Fraser family. To love them more, for her.

“Jamie, lad,” Brian said in a soothing voice as he moved closer to his son. “We’re here together and your Ma and Rob are with us because we carry them in our hearts every day, aye?”

It was a sweet thing to say, but when I looked into Brian Fraser’s eyes I realised that he believed it. Each word. He’d never lived a day without Ellen because he carried her with him. Because he saw her in their children. He was living proof of love, of devotion.

We sat in silence, the two Frasers lost in memories of a past forever gone and I, trying to introduce a new subject to discuss and failing miserably. 

“He’s here! He’s here!” Ian burst into the room, laughing, and crying, and hugging us all before we had time to react to his announcement. “Ten fingers and ten toes, with a tuft of black hair and a wee numb for a nose.” Tears were streaming down his cheeks but he didn’t seem to notice. “He’s the bonniest lad ye’ve ever seen. A bit on the red side and covered with --” he stopped, shaking his head. “And Jenny,” he said, turning to Jamie. “Man, if I dinna find myself the bravest lass. She’s so fearless it sometimes scares me.” 

“Can we see them?” Brian asked, eyes darting from Ian to the door, as though he would run down the corridor to his daughter and grandson the moment he got confirmation that he was allowed to. 

“Aye, in a bit. They haven’t finished yet.”

We were all standing, grinning like fools as we bounced on our feet, having nowhere to go but being too hyped to sit down again. 

Ian’s announcement had broken the heavy silence that hung above our heads a minute ago, planting its cracks with a bright, pulsating feeling of anticipation. Life always surprised me in those moments; the moments that show us that nothing ever ends, that we are as complicated as we are simple. No matter what we are facing, we keep finding reasons to go on, to see the beauty, to honour our chance in this world. 

“I’m going back to her,” Ian said and a moment later he disappeared, leaving us alone in that waiting limbo. 

“He has Jenny’s hair,” Brian said, still gazing at the door.

“Yer hair, Da,” Jamie added before he hugged the older man, whose black head was now featuring a few grey hairs as well. 

I looked at them, observing how same they were, how different. Wondering if Jenny’s little man will have the Fraser charm as well.

“Congratulations,” I said to both of them when they turned to look at me. Brian thanked me as Jamie walked to me, wove an arm around my shoulders and pulled me closer.

“Congratulations to ye too, Sassenach,” he whispered in my ear. “Ye’ll be his auntie, ye ken. His fairy auntie Claire.”

I laughed at that and kissed him on his cheekbone. “Auntie Claire,” I murmured, claiming a role in the little baby’s life as well. I looked forward to corrupting the little lad with treats and gifts and love.

When we finally got to see Jenny and the baby, we were like children opening gifts on a Christmas day. Jenny looked exhausted, but when her eyes met ours the sweetest smile curled up her lips. She was glowing. It was like I could feel her wonder at her little human, her happiness. 

“Come see him,” she bid us and her gaze trailed back on the little bundle she was holding. 

Brian moved first, unable to take his eyes away from his daughter and grandson. Jamie took my hand and I felt my feet following him towards the bed. 

“He’s like a miracle, Da,” Jenny repeated Ian’s words that had vexed her with teary eyes, looking up to her father. 

“Aye, my wee lass. Like the miracle ye were, for me and yer Ma. And now ye’re giving me yet another gift.” The voice wavered but his gaze didn’t move an inch away from his daughter’s face. I squeezed Jamie’s hand and he squeezed mine back.

Sometimes, I loved these silent conversations more than our audible ones; this secret code kept only for the two of us.  

Jenny pulled her father down to kiss him. “Thank you, Da.”

“She would be very proud of you, Janet Flora Arabella.”

Jamie and Ian barked out similar laughs that almost covered Jenny’s exclamation, “Da!” 

“And now that we come to names…” Ian started but stopped, waiting for Jenny to continue for him.

She nodded. “His name is James Robert Brian,” Jenny said with a grin. “Continuing this ridiculous family tradition and all.”

Jamie swallowed so hard I could hear it. 

“Jen…” he whispered, looking at his sister through wide eyes.

“Brother, ye ken that ye mean a lot to me. As you do, Da. And wee Rob… I dinna want him to be forgotten.”

Jamie rushed to her, speechless, and bent over her, planting a tender kiss on his sister’s forehead. 

“Thank ye, Jen,” he said, his accent heavier than it usually was. “I… Thank ye,” he repeated lamely, all other words having left him. “Can I hold him?”

Jenny extended the little bundle to his waiting arms. The baby’s head was smaller than his hand and a tiny hand was raised as though to touch him, to feel this new world.

“Hello wee one,” Jamie cooed. “Welcome to the world. Welcome to the family. I promise I’ll always be there to take care of you, even when ye’re a wee rascal and ye make yer Ma and Da mad.”

I chuckled and moved closer, peaking at the baby. He was still reddish, with swollen brown eyes and a tiny nose, just like Ian had said. Without thinking, I reached a forefinger and felt his tiny little fingers against mine. My heart banged in my chest, so full of emotion I thought it would burst.

“And this is auntie Claire,” Jamie introduced me a moment later. “And we love her, just so ye ken.”

“Valuable information,” I mocked, somewhat shy.

“‘Tis.” It was not Jamie, but Jenny that spoke from the bed, looking at as with a sweet smile.

“How do you feel?” I asked, leaving Jamie to have a moment alone with his nephew.

“God, I’m tired. But I canna close my eyes because I want to look at him and I canna do that while being asleep, ken? I dinna think I will draw anything else apart from him in the near future.”

“Nobody is going to take him from ye and ye’ll need yer strength lass,” her father advised. “Life is never going to be the same now.”

“Sleepless nights? Crying?” Ian asked, eyeing the little one who was, for now, calm and quiet. 

“Aye,” Brian chuckled. “Lots of laughter too, son. Can I hold my grandson now?”

He’d barely got the baby from Jamie when a nurse dashed into the room, informing us that it was time for the mother to nurse her baby.

“Oh, aye.” Brian reluctantly handed little James back to his mother, clearly lamenting that he hadn't asked for him before. Jenny took him with tender moves, poked at his nose and started murmuring, asking him if he was hungry. 

“We’ll see you later Jenny. You too, Ian!”

They both nodded, barely sparing us a glance before their gaze fell on their son who was blinking at his Ma.

“They’re so sweet together, aren’t they?” I asked once we left the room.

“A real family,” Brian replied, wistful and happy together.

“Are ye happy, Da?”

“Aye, son.” Brian’s voice was mellow and smooth, spreading around us like butter on bread. “You’ll never know how much happiness Jenny and ye have brought into my life until ye have yer own children. Then, ye’ll understand.” He reached out and ruffled Jamie’s hair as though he was a little boy and not a man more than six feet tall. 

We left the hospital feeling that the world was a little bit better than an hour ago. In the car, on our way home Jamie leaned into me and whispered in my ear, “So… Two of our own and an adopted one? Let’s say… Two girls and a boy?”

I turned to look at him incredulously but the way he was looking at me made my heart stop and my mind go blank. 

“Maybe,” was all I managed to whisper in response before I broke into a wide grin.

“We could name the boy Dalhousie.”

“You must be out of your bloody mind.” 

“Fergus?” Jamie gave me one of his lopsided smiles and I rolled my eyes.

“Jesus!” I shook my head in disbelief before I turned forward, only to see Brian through the mirror, smirking.

“I dinna think Jesus is a good name for the lad, Sassenach. Too much weight on his shoulders.”

Brian was now holding back a laugh. These Frasers. 

I elbowed Jamie and huffed indignantly. He took my hand in his and squeezed until I turned to look at him again. He kissed my temple then, whispering, “We’ll think about it. We have time.”

I smiled, thinking what Jamie had said in the waiting room. We wouldn’t start a family any time soon, but we had all the time in the world.

Two girls and a boy didn’t sound like a bad combination either. 

#thermodynamics #the first law of thermodynamics #jamie x claire #jenny x ian #high school AU #college AU #outlander fanfic #thermo ficlet #all the time in the world #outlander fanfiction

[tomsrebeleyebrow]

hii, i love ur work!!!💞💞 btww could i request smt w/ tom x reader where they r both in quarantine w the boys and tom is always hanging out with them and the reader is sad but don't want to show it until tom asks her what's going on and then she snaps!!!☺️☺️fluff ending❤️❤️

A/N: oh nonnie, i felt quite inspired for that one?? 😗 but as you know, externalising your feelings is sometimes the best remedy so never hesitate, you’ll feel a bit better after ☺️🙏🏻 and talk about it!! as always, stay safe sweetheart 💖💗

‘Stay safe, Cheer up’ blurb event

SLIGHTLY ANGSTY BELOW (INSECURITY), SO BEWARE! (FLUFF ENDING)

You were bored. The lockdown was still going in the UK and after six weeks of being between four walls, time was passing by ever so slowly. But fortunately you were staying at Tom’s house with the boys, him asking you to join them to not be alone being a better idea than you staying alone in your apartment...

... is what you thought.

More than bored, now you were also getting slightly upset. What you first thought about sharing great and funny times with all the boys and catching up with Tom just vanished after the first week.

You felt alone, even when living all in the same house. Left in a corner to be by yourself most of the time. Even asking to join them during a simple game on the PlayStation became hard. And your shy nature was not helping at all as you just let it happen.

Today you were bored, and now pretty upset too.

As you sat cross-legged on yours and Tom’s bed, trying to deal with some college work on your laptop, Tom suddenly barged in the bedroom quite frantically.

“Babe! Have you seen the Marvel puzzle box?” Tom asked while he started to rummage through his wardrobe, “I need it for a video!”

You clicked your tongue, your eyes never leaving the screen. This was basically what 99% of your interactions with Tom were about: “have you seen this?” or “what do you think about that?” or “is that a great concept?”. You became a sort of adviser against your will.

“Don’t know, check around” you plainly said, fingers keeping their constant clinking on the keyboard.

Tom stoped and turned towards you, quite shocked with that answer.

“Uhm, that was... cold?” he said with raised eyebrows, a hand ruffling his hair.

You preferred to simply ignore him, focusing of your work as much as possible. That confused Tom even more. Actually he’s been noticing that recent attitude you were giving him, but not quite minding about it too much at first until his own friends started being aware of it too. Harrison already told him a few times to have talk with you, just to check but he never really did. And now, Tom was confronted to the situation itself and couldn’t ignore it. Something was going on.

“Babe, you’re alright?” your boyfriend questioned first, then proceeded as you gave him no reaction. “Are you mad about something? ... About me?”

“Ah!” you scoffed suddenly before closing your laptop rather violently, making Tom jump on the spot. “Finally my own boyfriend decided to ask how I am doing, like a civilised person. Or should I refer to you as Mister Tom Holland now, since we were basically like strangers for a few weeks, uh?”

“What are you saying (Y/N)?” retorted Tom, completely taken aback by your answer as he now advanced a bit towards the bed.

“That you just ignored me since the beginning of the quarantine, but other than that, nothing! Everything’s good, everything’s FINE!!”

Feeling the anger slowly accumulating, you pushed your laptop away on the mattress and stood in one jump, reading to stomp out of the bedroom. But you were brought up short once you felt Tom’s hand grabbing your wrist, stopping you from leaving him this dumbfounded. You tried to wiggle free from his grip but soon stopped, still looking away from him, your breathing heavy after each inhalation and exhalation.

“(Y/N), look at me” Tom calmly asked, loosening his hand around your wrist a little bit to not hurt you. “Please, (Y/N)...”

After this rush of adrenalin, all your muscles seemed to release the tension you imposed to yourself. You lowered your head and dropped your shoulders, now shivers going along your spine.

“I-It’s like you abandoned me” you began, tears wetting your eyes before some rolled on your cheeks. “We didn’t even have some t-time for ourselves, but I’m n-not judging the boys or anything b-but-”

The tears kept running on your now red cheeks, the sobs getting more pronounced as you went on about the insecurity you felt during these weeks, how much this heavy feeling called loneliness just grew inside of you. And how much you had to endure it by yourself, not daring to say a single word about it, not even to your boyfriend who was there all along.

All of a sudden your body was pulled to the back and soon found yourself pressed against Tom’s chest, his arms instantly surrounding your frame to not let you go. One of his hands gently rested on the back of your head, before caressing it to soothe you.

“I’m the biggest idiot and the worst boyfriend that could ever exist on this planet” you heard Tom’s voice mumbled against your temple. “How did I not see this uneasiness in you... I just hurt you without noticing it, and I fucked up really bad, right?”

You hid your teary face against his chest, your hands grabbing his shirt on the back, your breath finally calming down a bit as you let Tom talk.

“I regret (Y/N), fuck I’m so sorry darling, please forgive me...”

You sniffled while nodding a few times, forehead still resting on his torso. Then you felt his lips kiss your hair, his body soon rocking slowly side to side to wash away any ounce of negativity left around you both. And in fact, it did appeased you because you missed being close to Tom, that deep connection between you both you felt ever since the first day you met and that you just found again today.

After some time spent in a rather calm silence, you parted from each other and Tom gently brushed your wet cheeks with his thumb, a comforting smile never leaving his face.

“Never hesitate to talk to me, (Y/N), never” Tom stated quite seriously, his hands back on your hips. “Even to insult me, I don’t care.”

“I’ll keep that in mind then” you chuckled, slightly slapping his chest before Tom joined you by laughing with you.

“Alright, what do you think about going in the backyard and enjoy this beautiful sunny day, only the two of us?” your boyfriend proposed, arranging a strand of your hair behind your ear.

“Didn’t you have a video to film?”

“The boys can definitely wait” Tom simply said, now taking your hand in his as he began walking out of the bedroom with you.

🏷 Permanent tag list & mutuals 💖 (get notified)

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#staysafecheerup #blurb event #blurb #tom holland #tom holland request #tom holland blurb #tom holland angst #tom holland fluff #tom holland x reader #tom holland x fem!reader #tom holland reader #tom holland reader insert #tom holland oneshot #tom holland one shot #tom holland imagines #tom holland imagine #angst #fluff #stay safe

[chasseurdeloup-retired]

When the Party's Over || Notia and Kaden

TIMING: Current LOCATION: A bar PARTIES: @humanmoodring and @chasseurdeloup SUMMARY: Cordelia gets one last chance to live it up. 

Finding an exorcist wasn’t enough. Kaden knew that much. Hell, it was no good if there was no body to work with. That didn’t change the fact that he didn’t want to have to deal with this portion of the plan, didn’t want to have to face the body of his friend. So he took a shot at the bar before looking around for Cordelia. He saw what should be a familiar face across the way. Sure, she looked like Nadia, sure, but something was off. The mannerisms, the movements, every inch of her screamed that she was someone else borrowing his friend’s body. He wasn’t sure why he thought there was safety in a public space, but he was hoping there might be some to be found. “Cordelia,” he said, placing a firm grip on her shoulder. “Long time, no see.” His hand closed tighter around her, likely bruising her body, but he wanted to make a fucking point. He was ready to grab her a lot more forcefully if he had to, but hell if he hoped he didn’t have to. “How’s it been, really? I’ve got a few things we need to chat about.”

The bartender was a terrible flirt, just the kind that Nadia knew she could get a drink or two or three out of without having to even start a tab. Not that she’d even got started when she felt a familiar presence behind her and a hand clamping down on her shoulder. She was kind of impressed with Kaden’s forcefulness. He really didn’t see his friend anymore when he looked at her, did he? The room chilled around them, but she shot the bartender a reassuring wink and turned to face Kaden. “Ohmygod, Kadie!” she said, eyes wide with excitement. She was careful not to react to the way he said that name. “It’s so good to see you, really. I’ve just been so busy, I couldn’t fit you into my schedule.” She put her hand on his and dug her nails in a bit to remove it from her shoulder. “A chat? Sure, totally.” She gave him an easy grin, let he know that he didn’t scare her. She was in control here. She was in charge. Especially after everything that had happened with Arthur earlier. “What ya wanna talk about, hot stuff?”

“A lot, actually,” Kaden replied with a smirk. “I’d say I missed you but that’d be a lie. And I’m an honest man. I would never lie to you like that.” The nails in his hand were nothing. If she wanted to inflict pain, she’d have to try harder. Not that he planned to encourage her, this was the same woman who stabbed and shot him. Sill, it wasn’t like he didn’t endure cat scratches on a near daily basis. He hardly even flinched at the pain. In response, he used his other hand to grab her wrist, gripped it tight, but not enough to break any bones. Hopefully she was aware just how easy it would be. “We can do this the hard way or the easy way, Cordelia. But it’s over. Jig is up. Hope you had a good last night but it’s over.”

“Aw, Kadie, you’re hurting my feelings.” Nadia pouted. But she glared at him as his hand went to her wrist. Out. She needed a way out of this. “Is there a third option, maybe?” She looked around the bar. The bartender had moved away, but she was sure he’d come back if she screamed. She should scream. There was a beer bottle in front of her. A plan, half-assed and half-formed, came into her head. “Night’s hardly even begun, babe.” With her free hand, she smashed the beer bottle over Kaden’s hand, and then she started screaming. “Help! Fuck, please help me!” The dim lights in the bar brightened momentarily with her screams before settling back down, and Nadia did her best to pry Kaden’s hand off of her and move away. If she could make it outside, then she could get away, go to the apartment, and regroup. Maybe this was proof that it was time to leave, time to move on to greener pastures. Like the Bahamas. Or somewhere in Europe.

Kaden was prepared for a fight. He knew she wasn’t going to go quietly, as much as he wished that she might. As much as he didn’t want to damage Nadia’s body too much, he would do what he had to in order to get her to come with him. “Shit!” he cursed as soon as she smashed a bottle on him. So much for having one good hand. He clenched his jaw and held tight to her, pushed past the pain, ignored the blood that was pooling on it, and across his hand. It was possible he was going to break her wrist but he wasn’t going to fucking let go, not if he could help it. Shattered glass? Funny that she tried. He was dating a banshee. Shattered glass was nothing new. “Nadia Diaz,” he shouted over her. “You’re under arrest for theft, assault, and attempted homicide.” He pulled out his badge to show the room, just in case, along with his handcuffs. “You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law.” She tried to run, almost slipped from his hand, but he reached out and cuffed her bruised and possibly broken wrist before he continued. ”You have the right to an attorney. If you cannot afford an attorney, one will be provided for you.” Say what she wanted, he was still a fucking cop and the badge was real so she could fucking try him. “We can make this easy. Or we can make this hard,” he reiterated, trying to lead her to the door.”

“You really wanna do this?” Nadia gasped out, teeth gritted against the pain in her wrist as Kaden pulled her hands behind her back. “You wanna play the cop card?” What kind of fucking game was this asshole playing, anyway? Arresting her? Sure, whatever. She’d been arrested before. He was doing more harm than good, speaking Nadia’s name and charges out into existence among these people. There was no help to be had, just anticipation and curiosity as the bar’s patrons watched on. The badge seemed to have the same effect in warding people off from helping as salt warded a ghost from a room.. She was alone in this, and it’d be easier to just go with him. “How are you gonna deal with this, huh?” She asked quietly as she let him lead her away, craning her head back to look at him. There was a knife on his belt. She would remember that. “Get your little empath back and what? Now everybody here thinks she’s a murderer. Or did you not think this through?” She went rigid and stopped moving, forcing him to stop as well, however momentary. “Why don’t you just let me go, Langley? Instead of fucking up what’s left of Nadia Diaz’s life?”

“I really don’t but I’ll do what I have to. This is ending, Cordelia. You’re done,” Kaden said in her ear as he led her out of the bar. Shit, it was almost a power trip watching the way part in the club as they made their way to the door. He didn’t normally pull stunts like this and he definitely didn’t normally do this sort of shit as an animal control officer, but no one in that bar needed to know that. He should try this more often. Once they were outside of the bar, he led her to his animal control truck. It wasn’t exactly the same as a traditional cop car, but it looked more official than his personal truck. He really hoped no one questioned him. Because this sure as shit was far from legal. He ran into her back as she stopped short. Putain. “Really? You think you’re the only one clever enough for a con, Cordy?” He huffed out a laugh and continued to escort her to the passenger seat, swinging the door open. “You think I’m actually taking you to jail? Fuck no. You’re going somewhere much worse.” That was probably stupid to show his hands so soon. He didn’t want to have to knock her out but, shit. He was probably going to have to knock her out. Putain.

“It ends when I fucking say it does,” Nadia snarled. He felt so fucking smug. She wanted to jerk her head up into his nose and break it, but she refrained. She wasn’t going to struggle anymore. She’d have to find another way out of this. “I don’t think you have the brain power to pull off a clever con, dumbass. Even if you don’t take me to jail, you’ve outed your pal as a criminal, a murderer. And I have killed quite a few people in this town, just an FYI.” She slammed her shoulder into Kaden’s chest and grabbed the knife while he was distracted. She’d been picking pockets for years. Taking one knife off of a man’s belt was child’s play. Then she all but fell into the passenger seat, turning back to him with a sneer. “You’re going somewhere much worse,” she mocked. “Cry me a fucking river. You can kick me out and put her back in, but I still win, and I can just find someone else, someone better.” She laughed. “Not that you’d notice if I just stayed though, would you? You didn’t notice for months.” She made her eyes soft, her lips pouty. “Mimes, like, totally suck! Of course we’re friends, Kaden! I’ll totally help you look for your girlfriend! Don’t be so hard on yourself, it’s gonna be okay!” She let her face go blank. “You’re an idiot. An idiot. For all your claims to know her and care for her, you and everyone else were just as fucking obtuse as her goddamn parents. An emotionally constipated girl that she slept with a handful of times figured it out before all of her little friends. You only found me out because I let you.” Nadia looked at Kaden with pure hate, knife gripped tightly in her hands. But she couldn’t use it. She slipped it into the waistband of her pants instead.

“Sure it does.” Kaden didn’t really feel like arguing with her. It hardly seemed worth it. He wouldn’t have to argue with her for too much longer. “Have I? Really? To one bar, one bartender? I have a feeling that’s not going to matter much. I don’t have any evidence. Really a shame no one was able to hold Nadia. What a trage-” He let out an ouf as she slammed into his chest. He made sure his hold on her didn’t loosen for too long and she didn’t make a run for it. Thankfully, she slid into the passenger seat without too much argument. It was about as good a scenario as he could hope for considering. His face steeled as he watched her try to play him some more. She looked like Nadia but the more she spoke, the clearer it was that this was all Cordelia. “I didn’t notice, you’re right. But I know now. So it doesn’t matter how in the fuck any of found out. Really it was your mistake for not leaving town when you had a chance.” Once, she had been able to use her words to twist his heart, tug on his strings. Not anymore. “You know, you really need to get a new routine. This one’s getting stale.” Too bad she wasn’t going to get a chance. He pulled out a taser before slamming the door and heading around to the driver’s seat. Just in case he couldn’t deal with her bullshit babbling anymore.  

Rolling her eyes, Nadia slumped down into the seat and watched him go to the driver’s side. There it was. Panic. Not his, either, but hers, purely hers. It made her heart beat frantically. Her breath came out in short puffs as the temperature in the car lowered even further. This wasn’t happening. It wasn’t. It couldn’t. She should have just kicked herself out of Nadia Diaz’s body when she had the chance, left it in a ditch somewhere. But then she wouldn’t have been able to have any fun. She should have left the moment he hurt her wrist and shoved her in the fucking truck, but there was the chance that he would make it back to Nadia in time for her to reclaim her body and, no, she wasn’t going to have that. She wasn’t. Not if she couldn’t get it back, not if it wasn’t hers. She’d put a lot of time and effort into this body, goddammit. She wasn’t going to lose it like this. She’d get rid of it her way or no way at all. “Fuck you,” she said, keeping her eyes on him and the taser, but she didn't say it loudly, and she didn’t struggle. Fine. Let him think that they’d won. Whatever. She couldn’t wait to watch him regret this, even if it was the last thing that she did.

#writing #wickedswriting #chatzy #nadia #notia #humanmoodring #when the party's over

[swifteforeverandalways]

@riottstheory

Teddy James ‘TJ’ Perkins blinked slowly as he awoke, a sinking feeling growing in his stomach as he looked around his surroundings. He was in a cell, shackles around his wrists. And he wasn’t alone. Shackled and leaning against the other wall was the familiar blonde head of Bobbi Morse, his cousin-in-law.

“Bobbi? Are you okay?” TJ called.

“TJ? What the fuck happened?” Bobbi asked. TJ shook his head, confused.

“I don’t….I don’t really know. Last I remember was me and you heading to Kate Kane’s bar?” He said. Bobbi nodded, “Yeah...I don’t….I don’t know why we’re here or where here is.”

“Oh Agent Morse, you should know where you are,” a cold voice said. The two looked up to see a man with dark hair leaning against the wall. Bobbi’s expression turned dark.

“Ward, not surprised to see you’re still with HYDRA,” Bobbi spat. TJ shot her a look, but Bobbi just gave her head a slight shake. Ward smirked, “You two are never getting out of here.”

“Wait, why am I here? And who are you anyways? You a fan of mine?” TJ asked. Ward sneered at him.

“Drop the act, Perkins. I know who you are. TJ Perkins, cousin to the Princess of Outworld Jade Okaia,” Ward said.

“What are you talking about?” TJ lied. Ward rolled his eyes and looked at his goons.

“Gag him, we don’t need that damn scream of his going off,” he commanded. The HYDRA agents moved in with an intricate looking metal gag, wrapping it around TJ.

“Leave him alone,” Bobbi yelled. Ward turned to her, sneering.

“Sorry, Morse. No can do,” he laughed. TJ glared at Ward, his eyes hateful. Ward just laughed again before leaving. TJ sighed, shaking his head. Bobbi looked over at him, her expression oddly calm.

“How are you so calm right now?” TJ asked.

“Neville and Rosemary are overly protective of you, and Rosemary is the host to a demon or whatever. Jade is insanely overprotective of nth of us, she is definitely going to kill someone or multiple someone’s. Plus the Young Avengers are likely to get in on this,” Bobbi shrugged. TJ laughed, shaking his head fondly. It was true, though, HYDRA was definitely going to pay.

Meanwhile, at SHIELD, things were a bit hectic. Upon realizing that both her wife and cousin were missing, Jade promptly threw an angry fit that resulted in a training room being destroyed. The Young Avengers weren’t much happier, a top ranking SHIELD agent had been kidnapped.

“Jade, we will find them,” Syndel said firmly, no trace of fear in her voice. Jade shook her head, throwing another chair into the wall.

“Those bastards have my wife. I will not rest until they are all dead,” Jade said, her tone full of venom.

“Jade,” Syndel said, “I understand how you feel. But we will find them, and we will make HYDRA pay!” Jade’s jaw tightened but she nodded as the door opened and James Rogers walked in, a HYDRA agent held between himself and Teddy Altman.

“Queen Syndel, Princess Jade,” Teddy said politely, while James just gave the two a nod.

“This one of the HYDRA jackasses who took my wife?” Jade demanded.

“She is,” James confirmed, “As a whole, the Young Avengers decided it would be best to deliver her to you.”

“She tried taunting Kitana….kind of just made her cry instead,” Teddy added. Taking advantage of the slight momentary distraction, the HYDRA agent yanked free from James and Teddy, only to be met with a loud roar followed by a growl. Jade smirked as Rajah, Kitana’s pet tiger, slunk through the door and glared at the HYDRA agent. The HYDRA agent fell back, stumbling away. She landed in front of Syndel and looked up, gulping. Syndel’s expression turned cold and she snapped down with her hair, wrapping it around the agent’s neck. The Outworld Queen lifted the HYDRA agent up.

“What have you done with Agent Morse and Theordore James Perkins?” She asked. The HYDRA agent glared at Syndel.

“I will never tell!” She yelled, “HYDRA will prevail! Cut off one head, two mo-!” The agent was cut off by Syndel snapping her neck with ease, dropping the body to the ground.

“I thought I was the one who overreacted,” Jade sassed.

“She was not giving any information out,” Syndel said with an air of indifference. Jade chuckled before her expression turned dark, “Well now how do we find them?”

“SHIELD has a list of potential HYDRA bases, we split up and go to each,” Kitana spoke from the doorway. Jade looked up and her expression softened upon seeing her daughter standing there. Kitana’s eyes were red and puffy, as if she had been crying, but her expression was otherwise determined.

“I have an even better lead, it seems like our old friend Grant Ward orchestrated this kidnapping….and I know where he took Bob last time,” Lance Hunter said as he walked in.

“Who the fuck is Grant Ward?” Neville demanded.

“Former SHIELD agent who turned out to be HYDRA, total arsehole. Kidnapped Bob once, almost killed her,” Hunter said.

“So why did he kidnap TJ?” Neville crossed his arms against his chest.

“Knowing Teddy, he was probably protecting Bobbi and they took him too,” Syndel said.

“So TJ was kidnapped because of some little b-” Neville began to say before he was cut off by a fierce glare from Jade.

“Have care how you finish that sentence. Teddy’s boyfriend or not, if you insult my wife it will be the last thing you do,” she threatened. Rosemary stepped up, stepping between them.

“Nev didn’t mean it like that, Jade. He’s just a bit protective of TJ, he does not mean to insult your wife,” she said, mediating the situation. Jade and Neville glared at each other for a long minute.

“Where did Ward take Morse last time?” Neville finally asked Hunter. Hunter grinned and motioned them off to follow.

Back in the HYDRA warehouse, Bobbi and TJ were hanging out in their cell. Neither looked overly concerned about their predicament.

“I hope Jade and Nev didn’t fight,” TJ sighed. Bobbi looked at her companion, a slight smile on her lips.

“He overprotective of you?”

“Very. Like we all know Jade is so insanely protective but Nev is too.”

“Jade is just….I love her but damn if she isn’t overprotective,” Bobbi said fondly. TJ looked at his cousin’s wife.

“I will say this, I have never seen her happier than when she is with you.”

“I love Jade,” Bobbi said softly, “More than anything in this world aside from our kids. Jade is everything for me.” TJ smiled, “Your kids are so sweet. I wonder how they are handling this.”

“Dylan is probably ready to destroy HYDRA…..Kitana probably cried a bit.”

“Jade never really explained why Kitana is already nineteen, despite being born only what? Three years ago?” TJ said. Bobbi nodded.

“Yeah. So shortly after Kitana was born, we were all stuck in Outworld or Edenia or one of the various worlds that exist. The Time Stone was used to lock us there for sixteen years, at least for the worlds that we were in. On Earth, it was only sixteen days though, so Kitana aged by sixteen years because of the Outworld time or something. It’s honestly really confusing,” Bobbi said. TJ nodded as the door flew open. Jade, Rosemary, Neville, the Young Avengers, and other SHIELD agents ran in.

“Free Teddy first,” Takeda commanded as he threw a bladed whip at a HYDRA agent. Kenshi ran to his nephew, quickly pulling off the gag. TJ stood, letting out a sonic scream at the HYDRA agents.

“Holy shit,” Neville breathed as he and Jade both stopped, seeing a stripe of blond hair appearing. TJ breathed heavily a few times. Rosemary, Neville, and Jade blinked in surprise. None of them had ever seen TJ with the blond stripe like that.

“Banshee spirit. Thanks Aunt Syndel,” TJ shot a smile at his aunt before his eyes rolled back and he collapsed. Takeda moved quickly, catching his cousin.

“Seriously Teddy, you had to faint,” Takeda teased aloud.

“Get him back to the Quinjet,” Kenshi said. Takeda nodded, “Of course, Dad. You, Mom, and Jade stay safe.”

“Always,” Syndel placed a hand on her son’s head while Kenshi gave him a quick hug. Picking his cousin up, Takeda ran off.

Meanwhile, the Young Avengers were in the process of freeing Bobbi.

“Kitana!” Bobbi yelled. Kitana’s head snapped to her mama and she threw her fan slightly above the SHIELD agent’s head. Bobbi threw her arms up, the fan easily slicing through the cuffs HYDRA had on her, before spinning and catching the fan, throwing it back to Kitana. Kitana reached down and pulled out her battle staves, throwing them to Bobbi, who caught them easily and slammed them into a nearby HYDRA agent.

“I hate all of you!” Kitana yelled, stabbing a HYDRA agent before spinning and stabbing another.

“Kitten calm down,” Bobbi said, “I love you but calm down.” Kitana stabbed a final HYDRA agent before holstering her fans and running to her mama.

“Mama!” She exclaimed. Bobbi wrapped her arms around Kitana, kissing her head.

“I’m here, Kitten. It’s okay,” she said. Kitana wrapped her arms around Bobbi, burying her face into her mama’s shoulder. Bobbi kissed the top of her head. Tears dripped onto Bobbi’s shoulder and Kitana grasped her tightly.

“It’s okay Kitten, I’m here. They didn’t hurt me,” she murmured. Kitana sniffled and nodded, but continued to grasp onto her mama.

“Hey baby,” Jade walked up to Bobbi.

“Hey babe,” Bobbi grinned at her wife. Jade let out a breath and pulled Bobbi into a hard hug.

“I love you so much,” she murmured. Bobbi smiled, “I love you too. So much.” Jade smiled, kissing her softly. Bobbi kissed back before pulling away as a HYDRA agent tried to run. Before he could get very far, Neville hit him with a hard uppercut.

“That’s for stealing my boyfriend!” He yelled. Syndel walked to the agent and nodded at Kenshi, who grabbed him.

“Whoa, what are you guys doing with him?” Rosemary asked.

“SHIELD might not take prisoners, but Outworld does,” Syndel replied. Rosemary nodded as the group headed out.

Later

TJ and Jade stood in the interrogation room, arms crossed against their chests. TJ still had his streak of blond while Jade just looked pissed. The HYDRA agent was already beat and bruised, handcuffed to the table and chair. But neither of the two cared.

“So, you thought it would be a good idea to hurt my cousin? And my wife?” Jade said, her tone dangerous. The HYDRA agent swallowed, eyes darting around.

���I had my orders,” he said. Jade’s expression twisted into a snarl as she whipped out a fan, appearing behind the agent and pressing it to his neck.

“Jade, don’t kill him just yet,” TJ said in a bored tone. Jade pressed the fan harder against the agent’s neck, drawing blood. TJ laughed and knelt in front of the agent.

“My cousin is ready to kill you,” he said conversationally, “And honestly? I won’t mind if she does.” Jade grinned, her smile dangerous and assasiny. The HYDRA agent shook, a rather foul smell wafting up from him.

“Oh gross, he wet his pants,” TJ made a face. Jade laughed cruelly and hit the agent with the dull end of her fan, knocking him out. The two left the interrogation room, Jade’s expression changing once she did. TJ noticed the change on his cousin’s face and nudged her slightly.

“You gonna go visit your wife?” He asked. Jade nodded, concern covering it.

“Hey, she’s going to be okay,” TJ said, “Don’t be mad at her.”

“I’m not mad at her, or you. The only people I’m mad at are HYDRA, and it sucks for them because if anything ever happened to my wife I wouldn’t stop until I burned every single one of them to the ground,” Jade said. TJ smiled and shoved his cousin’s shoulder gently.

“Go, go be with your wife. You look like you could use a cuddle with her,” he said. Jade laughed and shook her head, but headed off.

#MockingPrincess #Okaia fam #my writing

[mor-beck-more-problems]

As Though I Had Wings || Morgan & Deirdre

TIMING: Current

LOCATION: Morgan and Deirdre’s home

PARTIES: @deathduty & @mor-beck-more-problems

SUMMARY: Deirdre has back problems.

I want to think again of dangerous and noble things.

 I want to be light and frolicsome. 

I want to be improbable beautiful and afraid of nothing, 

as though I had wings

-Mary Oliver

CONTAINS: mentions of past abuse

Deirdre rolled her shoulders, groaning as pain shot down her back. There were several things she knew how to bear through; back pain, however, was not one. Most of her pain tended to disappear the next day, but stiffness always had a way of lingering. Deirdre sighed, and hopped off the island counter, moving beside Morgan and slipping her hands around her waist. “Is that soup?” she asked, leaning down to rest her head on her shoulder. She regarded the saucy substance boiling on the counter. It smelt good, which was roughly all she knew about it. Since relinquishing her worries about Morgan cooking for her regularly, she’d taken to hovering awkwardly around the kitchen, slipping in and out of the room as she tried her best to think of things to say that weren’t centered around the vein of ‘you don’t have to do this’ or ‘it’s really okay’. Chopping the odd vegetable here or there didn’t make her feel any more useful than sitting up on the counter and saying whatever came to mind did. “Can I convince you to leave that there and come to me?” Deirdre pressed a kiss to Morgan’s shoulder, humming against her. She tightened her grip, easily slipping into the pressure she knew Morgan would---”Ow,” Deirdre groaned and pulled back, rolling out her shoulder again. She tried to stretch out, but instead was jolted back when pain claimed her movements. “I must have slept funny,” she confessed with a sigh. It was probably her fault for sleeping at her desk, but she had much more important things to be doing at night than resting in her plush bed. “Is whatever you’re making done yet? I think I could use the couch right about now.”

Morgan beamed down at the stew pot on the stove with pride. She’d never tried anything so northern as chowder before, but all the heavy dairy products kept it low in iron, even with the potatoes and corn the recipe called for. She turned her head toward Deirdre’s pecking her with a gentle kiss. “It is soup, and it’s just for you. And, for something technically dinner, I think you’ll find it on the sweet side. You’ll have to tell me how it really is, though.” Another kiss. “You never have to convince me to come to you. Just give me a couple of minutes, it really is almost--hey.” Morgan’s tone turned gentle with concern. Deirdre almost never expressed pain, even when Morgan’s panic attacks and over-enthusiasm left bruises. This had to be something serious. “You okay, babe?” She reached up to her shoulders and felt across her muscles. Even with her sense of touch shot to hell, she could tell Deirdre was hard as a rock where she shouldn’t be. “You should’ve said something if you were sore.”

Morgan slipped away from her to turn off the stove and cover the pot, then snaked her arms around Deirdre’s shoulders again, dragging her down to meet halfway in a kiss. “It'll be ready in the time it takes for you to get to the couch and get cozy. Unless you’d rather lay down for me, leave your dinner on the stove for later. Either way, we are not leaving your shoulders like this.”

Deirdre was sore often; her muscles knew ache well. Whether it was the slog of farm chores or the strain of concealing a dead body, her toned arms and legs faced their share of stiffness. She knew the wonders of a soothing bath, one of which she'd taken earlier, but her back never seemed to be quelled with those. "I'm not sore, and if I am, I'll be fine," she assured through a strained jaw. And she would be, just in whatever time it took for her fae body to heal the strain she managed to incur. She wasn't about to let some sore muscles stop her from holding her girlfriend. She tried her best not to wince into the kiss, though she felt she might have failed at that mission. "I'm not that hungry now, anyway." She paused. "And I mean that this time. I'd rather wait. I just need to lay down and—" Pain rocketed from her lower back up her spine and into her neck. Deirdre doubled over, groaning irritably as she laid her head on Morgan's shoulder. "I can just slap some ice on it later." She lowered her arms, now equally as stiff with pain, to wrap back around Morgan's waist—where she wanted them to be. She could ignore this, she could do that. She wanted to be holding Morgan and kissing her, not suffering at the whims of her whiny back. Sitting up on the counter unmoving must have made her worse, she thought, but was in far too much pain to consider it sincerely. She leaned down to kiss Morgan again and was reeled back up with another shock of pain. "Fine," she conceded to her body, "I'll go lay down on the couch." With a whine of her own, she reluctantly pulled herself away from Morgan—missing the closeness just as soon as she left it, despite it being her own doing. "Join me?" She pleaded softly; she hadn't processed exactly what Morgan meant by them not leaving her shoulders like that. She assumed she'd lay down, with Morgan against her as they always did, and the pain would fade away by itself. And so, her fingers curled around the hem of Morgan's shirt, asking her to leave the strange soup behind.

“Oh, my love, this must be next level, like way more than an ice pack level,” Morgan said, nipping gently at her girlfriend’s lip. “I mean, I’ll still get one out for you, especially since it’s so hot out today, but we are pulling out the stops for this absolutely-not-hypothetical ache.” She thumbed Deirdre’s cheek, just firm enough to get a fuzzy whisper of feeling, an echo of softness. Deirdre’s face, full and affectionate even in her weariness, wasn’t what ailed her, but Morgan hoped it was a moment’s comfort, and a reminder that she didn’t need to downplay her distress. “I’m pretty sure bending down to dote on me is at least part of your achy problem problem, so technically, this is at least partially my back pain to work out. Of course dinner can wait. Whatever you need.”

Morgan double checked the burners burners with a glance over her shoulder and let herself be tugged into the Great Room. She cleared away some of the pillows and urged Deirdre to lay down first. “Alright, on your belly, babe.” She knelt down on the discarded cushions on the floor and started to maneuver Deirdre into position. “And take your robe off? I don’t want to get it wrinkled while I’m rubbing your back, it’s too pretty and I literally just steamed it this morning.”

Deirdre pouted, a gentle protest sitting at the back of her throat the way it always did when Morgan insisted she needed more care. She didn’t. This would be fine in an hour or two, in a day or seven. “Well if you weren’t so short,” she teased, her mouth cracked up in a lopsided smile. “We could look into getting some stilts for you, maybe we’d finally be the same height then.” Her sweeping, joyous laugh was cut short by more groans of pain. It seemed to be getting worse the more it was talked about, like some sick opera diva feed off notoriety. She grumbled her way to the couch, easing to take a seat, then watching with confusion as Morgan didn’t join her. She began peeling her robe away out of reflex. “Steamed? Like a vegetable? Why would you do---” And then it hit her. “Oh no,” Deirdre snapped her robe back up, clutching it close to her. “You’re not going to---no, I don’t need a massage, or whatever you’re going to do. Just sit here with me.” But the more she reacted out of surprise, the stiffer her body got, and the more stiff she got--”Ugh,” Deirdre groaned again. Her grip on her silk robe slackened as she rolled back her shoulders again. Then modesty caught up to her and she snatched up her robe in her hands, suddenly and uncharacteristically shy about her body. “I don’t want my back to be rubbed like some chicken breast you’re going to grill---” she had dinner on the mind, obviously. “--I don’t need it to be.” She held her robe tighter, struck by another surge of pain as she did so. She sat up straighter, incorrectly thinking it would help. “Hey, you don’t need to do anything for me.”

“Maybe I’ll just beg Lydia for some of her heels. If she can work five inch heels, I can too, right? Ooh, I could get platforms and maybe you'll be the one toning your calves by standing on your tiptoes.” Morgan’s teasing didn’t last long; Deirdre was in a lot more pain than she had figured, enough to make her start considering those home visit massage therapy sessions. She had just laid a hand on her shoulder when Deirdre went stiff.

Morgan looked at her, confused. “Of course you do. You’ve probably pulled something out doing your duty or taking naps at your work desk. All that stuff you put your body through builds up, even for your super-banshee body.” She climbed onto the couch, curling up behind Deirdre, hands coming to rest on her shoulders. “Don’t move too much,” she said, bracing her a moment before remembering how sensitive she probably was. “Deirdre--I won’t hurt you, okay? If that’s what you’re afraid of, I’ll be as gentle as you need me to be. Definitely no, uh, chicken breast beating or rubbing or whatever you think is going to happen. I’m no pro, obviously, but I used to give lots of shoulder and hand rubs. It was kind of my ‘thing’ in undergrad, when I was trying to keep my magic totally underwraps. My point is, you’re in good hands with me.” She brushed Dierdre’s hair off to the side and peered over her shoulder to look at her. “Are we okay?”

“Oh, fates, Morgan. I don’t think you’re going to hurt me,” Deirdre’s eyes grew wide, her voice spilling over itself; incredulous. In her eagerness to show Morgan that she wasn’t afraid of a thing like that at all, and that she trusted her completely, she let her grip on her robe slip again. “I guess I just have food on the mind. And obviously I know you’re good with your hands and---” It wasn’t until she felt the soft silk sink down her shoulder that she yanked the fabric back up, bundled around her tight grip. She stiffened again, wincing. There was nothing she could do to pretend that her normal cavalier attitude to nudity wasn’t subdued by some greater fear. She watched Morgan for a moment, then sighed. “I don’t like my back,” she confessed quietly. “It’s flat. I mean, I have a flatback. I don’t like---” Deirdre gulped. “I don’t like people looking at it. Or touching it, usually. But I love you, and I don’t mind that I just---” She groaned again, this time out of a frustration born from her inability to explain her thoughts. “We can talk about how your thing was rubbing people instead?” Deirdre tried to twist, wanting to invite Morgan into her arms to sit as they were used to. Instead, she grimaced; her body refused, and her back became claimed by sharp pain.  

“Okay, not rubbing like that, I wasn’t doing stuff like that for years yet,” Morgan said, waving her hand dismissively. She wasn’t sure how talking about sleeping around and making terrible dating choices fit into this or how much Deirdre was actually keen on knowing...any of that. If anything, it made her wonder what could be so upsetting that she would find the idea remotely preferable. Morgan kissed Deirdre’s temple and ran her fingers through her hair, combing and plaiting it loosely. “Let’s get back to what you’re worried about when it comes to your back. From what I’ve seen from all the times I’ve seen you before, there’s nothing wrong with your back. It’s---” She fingered the hem of Deirdre’s robe. “It’s beautiful, Deirdre. All of you is beautiful. At least it is to me.” She drummed her fingers lightly over her shoulders, the sound pattering like rain. She moved her hands up to her neck where a deep crick seemed to have worked its way in. She eased the taut muscles with her thumbs . “Can you tell me more about why it bothers you? I want to understand. And, you know, I can rub your back with your robe on, if that will make you feel better about this?” She let one of her hands fall forward and take Deirdre’s hand. “I could just do your neck for now too? Just tell me what you need, babe. Maybe I don’t have to do anything right now, but I want to.”

“I didn’t mean rubbing like that either,” Deirdre smirked, clearly amused. She pushed through another jolt of pain to twist herself around and kiss Morgan---a worthy venture, in her eyes. “You’re the one that said you rubbed people, I was just inquiring.” But her teasing tone quickly deflated, caught between more bouts of pain. Relief came only when Morgan’s thumbs worked against her neck, even the pounding headache that had traveled up her seemed to calm. “It’s flat,” she said matter-of-factly. “I don’t have wings.” There was an important backdrop here that she struggled to explain, the centuries upon centuries of fae pride centered around their wings. The culture in Ireland, the old drawing and paintings depicting their ancestors--all winged. The stories of the days where they could fly, the intimate affair of wing reveals. All of which she had been excluded from. No matter how hard she tried to be fae, she would always be flatbacked. “No, It’s fine…” She trailed off with a sigh, letting her robe peel away from her skin as she rigidly shimmied it down. She gripped Morgan’s hand tighter as she went on. “It’s idiotic, I’m sure. But all my family has wings and I’ve just always wanted to….be like them.” She could remember insults hurled at her by fae her age, fae that were supposed to be her friends, her community. It always had felt like no matter where she turned, people just didn’t like her. Her family, at least, didn’t seem to mind, her cousin Maeve aside. But she could feel it in the way they talked about their wings, in the way their conversations left her out. Where did she belong, if not with them? She hated her back.

“It’s ugly,” the word spat out of Deirdre with learned venom. “Wings are such a big thing to the fae and especially to banshees. We don’t look fae. We don’t get anything except those wings. And I don’t have them. I never learned how to glamour because I didn’t have wings. I can’t do a glamour, Morgan. I can’t do them.” All fae knew how. All of her family did. She might have loved her enchanted choker now, being a gift from Morgan, but the idea of needing one in the first place always irked her (this new choker made it better, she was sure, she never hated putting it on; she almost wished she could wear it more often). “I didn’t have any friends growing up, not since Sophie died. The fae didn’t like me either; I don’t know if it was the winglessness or if that was just some excuse they could latch on to, but I was alone for so long. And I can’t think of that thing that made me different as being good.” She leaned back with a wince, pulling down her robe fully---she trusted Morgan, despite her fears, she believed her to be good unquestionably. “I used to cut wings out with paper, tape those on to my back. Banshees just look so human and I--” she turned her head away, laughing to herself. “It’s fine. Is rubbing my back something you want to do? I really will heal in some hours, we can just sit here together instead.” But she was deflecting--pushing--and she knew that Morgan could see it. It happened every time she talked about herself, as if she couldn’t be done any sooner, as if it would physically pain her to have to continue (other times her stories would be shared with detachment--apathy--but she learned better than to share the stories that would only form in those ways).

“Your wings,” Morgan repeated sadly. She had only seen one other set of fae wings before. Admittedly, they were beautiful, strange and sensitive and so much larger than any work she’d seen on an insect before. They reminded her that the would could be architected with beauty sometimes. But she was reminded of equally important things when she looked at Deirdre. That the capacity to love could survive cruelty. That hope existed because of despair. That goodness could grow in places it never had before. “I remember you saying you wished you had them… I didn’t realize it hurt you this much.” Morgan bent her head to press a kiss to Deirdre’s shoulder and lingered there awhile before resuming her work on her neck. Deirdre hadn’t flinched or stiffened at that; it was probably the safest way to soothe her.

“It may not be idiotic after how cruelly everyone treated you, but you shouldn’t call yourself ugly, my love.” She moved her lips down her shoulder blades, stitching one kiss after another until she’d moved inwards towards her spine. “You are the most beautiful being I’ve ever seen. Just as you are. You are whole and perfect. Wings or no wings isn’t good or bad. It’s just something that is. And it is a part of the you that I love.” Slowly, she kissed her way up each little vertebrae. “I am so sorry, my love, that you were so lonely. I do know how that hurts, and I know what it is to curse yourself, wishing to be different. I don’t know what this is,” she sighed, brushing her fingers down either side of her back, pressing in experimentally. “I can’t know this. How it must be to…” She frowned, rolling the sting of the way Deirdre had said human in her mouth. She wasn’t human anymore, and some days she was so annoyed by normie humans’ ignorance and unearned sense of superiority she thought it would be fine if she never saw another one for a month. But she had been human once, and she still missed her human senses. Her human self might have been naive and cursed, and woefully anxious for someone who lacked ambition, but she had still been Morgan.

This wasn’t about her. Deirdre had been taught to hate herself and humans with the same strokes of cruelty. She wasn’t really cruel at heart. It was just what she’d been told. And she’d come so far out of the cold, lonely shell she’d been forced into...

Morgan sighed and brushed her knuckles over the freckled plains of her girlfriend’s back. She couldn’t help but feel inadequate, as if her old humanness thinned the weight out of whatever she said so the words slid off Deirdre instead of finding their way into her. She slid her arms around Deirdre’s middle and pressed them close, chest to back, letting the quiet mark her thoughts. Maybe the part where she was herself, where she loved and was loved for almost half a year now would count for more than her fear said it would. At the very least, she had to try as if it did. “It must be hard, to feel like you aren’t seen for who you really are, to be seen as less than, and feel so helpless to do anything about it,” she murmured. “I can’t fix how you feel about your body or how people who should’ve known better made you feel about it. But I can ease some of your physical pain. I can take some of that away. And I can tell you whatever, um...whatever word you want to give to the way you look, you’ve always been enough for me, Deirdre. You’ve always been beautiful and easy to love, just like this. And, maybe I’m biased in a couple of ways, but I don’t think you should hate your body for the way it exists. So I’d like to, yes. But I can run you another bath instead. Or we can sit. Just let me do something for you.”

Deirdre shivered under each touch, quivering against each kiss. She wanted to tell Morgan not to, as if her back was some contagious beacon for pain, but the words refused to form. She began to tremble instead, crying softly with her head buried against the couch, happy that Morgan couldn't see her like that. "It's just a back," she mumbled, trying not to sound weepy. She knew the absurdity of her insecurity. Why does it matter, her mother would scoff. And yet, Deirdre could see the pride she held in her long, thin amber wings—a cicada killer. It mattered because she wanted them, it mattered because her life had been built around fitting in and they presented an obstacle that she could never overcome. She knew Morgan loved her like this, but she would have loved her the same if she had wings—more, even. Wouldn't everyone? She could be trying to figure out how to weave her fingers between them, watch their flutter with each peck, they could have been a wonder….but she didn't have them. Morgan pressed against her back, and Deirdre's silent cries cracked once into an audible sob, muffled only by her arms and the couch. Her back was a convenient canvas for lashings. Her mother never would have made her do it if she had wings, and each strike she took against her flesh she grew to detest her body. If she had wings, she wouldn't be in pain. In any of it. There were fae massage therapists who knew their way around a set, she could have gone to one. But she didn't have wings, and so she was here. Her skin burned under each place Morgan had kissed or caressed her. She could feel the ghosts of every ounce of torture her back had endured under them; all of her scars had faded now and only her memory knew what happened. She tried to listen to what Morgan had said. Her wings or lack of, was neither good nor bad; that she was always beautiful; how she couldn't fix it, but that she cared nonetheless.

Deirdre pushed herself up, just enough to wipe her tears haphazardly with her palms until she thought she was presentable to flip over and face Morgan. She might not have liked laying on her stomach for that reason, she couldn't see or hold Morgan. And she wanted to now, she needed to. She ignored every stiff muscle or section of her body that screamed out with the movement. 'You are the most beautiful being I've ever seen.' If Morgan said it, she could start to believe it. Deirdre dropped her head onto Morgan's shoulder, and tried to summon what she wanted to say. Some kind of thank you, some kind of poetic declaration of love, something. But as her back hit the open air of their house, all she was reminded of was how empty it was, how nice it would be to have wings that fluttered there. "So I was bullied for having a flatback—" And she still was, some fae loved to lob that at her, as if it diminished everything else. "—it's nothing serious." But the part of her that was nestled between sense and reason wanted to plead its case. It wanted to paint the picture of the proud fae, of all the kids her age testing their wings and trying to hover and her having to sit off to the side, curled up into herself. Of every beating, of every thing she knew would never be levelled against her if she had wings. But she didn't. She didn't have wings. She looked human. She never learned how to glamour. She didn't have wings. She didn't know who to be angry at that about other than herself. Her mother never told her if her father had wings; why does it matter? And she could never think of an answer that wasn't as pathetic as wondering about a man she would never know, and never needed to.

"I love you," Deirdre said after a long pause of crying quietly against Morgan—something she didn't realize she was doing. And then she smiled, an odd bit of irony had found a way to wedge itself in-between this. "But you do know," she laughed gently, "what it's like to be outcast. And then what it's like to want something you'll never have. It's not that different from anything else. It's really not just a fae thing. Humans...do it to each other too. It's not different. We're not different." It was sacrilege to say it like that. Completely disrespectful to even talk of fae and humans in the same breath, on the same level. To call them similar, she knew, was something she could have been rightfully ridiculed for. But she was safe in her home, safe with Morgan. And what she had been trying to say, in no small part, was that she didn't think of the divide between fae and human so cruelly anymore. Morgan loved the parts of her that she was taught to hate, it was as simple as that. If she could learn to accept that she cried sometimes, she might just be able to cope with a wingless back. Maybe….just maybe. "I don't like it," she repeated, stealing a kiss from Morgan before she pressed another to her cheek. "I don't think I ever will. But if you think it's so beautiful, I won't keep you from it." She grinned, lopsided, as she always did when bursting with mischief and affection. "I mean, that would be the worst evil, wouldn't it?" She kissed Morgan again before she flipped over, revealing her back again to the only person she trusted with that vulnerability. "And I am nothing if not giving." But her words and their false arrogance was all she could do to muffle another string of tears. She wasn't sure how she was going to stomach more undeserved compliments and touches, but the part of her nestled between sense and reason, cried out to hear them again.

Morgan loosened her hold just enough to let Deirdre turn around and latched them tight again. She would have given a lot for a few more inches in her limbs, just to bundle her girlfriend that much more securely against her chest. “Hey, don’t dismiss yourself. It’s not nothing. It was serious enough for people to hurt you, to make you feel you didn’t belong.” Morgan squeezed, minding her grip, and lifted a hand to brush away Deirdre’s tears with her knuckle. “But just because it’s serious, doesn’t mean it’s true. You are so magnificent, my love, how could anything on the surface detract from that?” She pressed her lips to her forehead and hair and whispered tender hushes to her. She let them stay huddled like that, anchored only by each other. Morgan had known that Deirdre pined desperately to be different. In the darkest, most paranoid pits of her mind she imagined that one day Deirdre might even bargain her away to fit the way she’d always wanted. But it was impossible to think of that now, with Deirdre’s tears puddling on her shirt, with the ache to be caught and loved so palpable in the weight of Deirdre’s grip and the pressure of her head against her body. “You fit right here, at least. You fit with me, in our home. My beautiful girl…”

Morgan’s own eyes welled up as Deirdre explained the similarities between them. There were so many ways they fit together, sometimes she forgot it went down to their pain too. “You don’t have to like your back right now, or soon,” Morgan whispered. “I like it. I love it, even.” She caught Deirdre before she turned over and gave her another kiss, soft and just for her. “I love you. And you don’t have to pretend like this isn’t hard. Because it is. I know it’s hard for you. I know.  And if you want me to stop for a bit, I will. Don’t even ask, just say.” Morgan wiped her fresh tears and kissed the spot at the corner of her eye where they had fallen.  and shifted off the couch so she could situate herself more comfortably.

Morgan began by brushing her fingertips down the length of her banshee’s back, from the arc of her neck to the end of her tailbone. She pressed a firm kiss between her shoulder blades and pressed on both her shoulders, letting the touch rest there, firm and sure. As Morgan began to work her muscles, she wondered if no one had truly touched her here with affection before. What did she do for her muscle soreness after a long day’s work at the farm? And what if she threw out her shoulder throwing knives? Mogan kneaded further down Deirdre’s back, wondering at the way she trembled and flinched when she was upset. She had never asked for confirmation, but it seemed as if her flesh was reliving bad memories, one that couldn’t be written over with a few caresses. Morgan brushed her fingers down her spine, smiling sadly at Deirdre’s toned muscles, the fluid dips near her waist, the gentle swell near her hips. “Mother of Earth, you really are beautiful from every angle, my love,” she said. “So toned, and so many freckles. I’d like to draw our constellations on them sometime.”

There were three things Deirdre learned suddenly in that moment. First, that her back was exceptionally sensitive--ticklish, even. It seemed to be the only part of her that was. Even as she grew used to the anticipation of pain being met by soft touch, her body still flinched and quivered and squirmed. She nearly giggled once, giggled. The second was that Morgan’s kindness always seemed to make her horribly emotional. She was happy to have her face buried in the couch again to conceal more tears--happy ones, of course, but she couldn’t exactly explain why she, as someone who rarely cried, was so prone to do it when Morgan’s love overwhelmed her. She felt the ghost of Morgan’s soothing touches against her instead; her knuckles against her face, brushed her tears away; her lips gentle against hers; her fingers tangled in her hair, combing back the way she liked. She couldn’t even get any words out to respond to Morgan before she laid back down, she felt nothing would come out that wasn’t incoherent blubbering or weepy expressions of gratitude or even one, sober and solemn apology. She was sorry she wasn’t stronger, she was sorry she was the type of person who carried this manner of self-hate with her, she was sorry she still wanted wings, even now. And most of all, she was sorry every time Morgan had to console her like this. She hated crying just as much as she hated everything else about the strange puddle of a person she could become when revisiting parts of her past that shouldn’t have bothered her. But she wanted to tell her that she fit here, she knew she fit there because she could feel it---and that Morgan fit too. She wanted to tell her all about how tightly she held Morgan in her heart, about how she’d faced revelation about their love and their fitting together as if they might be folded together in the same never ending knot; painted together across an ever-growing series of stained glass, the sunlight streaming through them and expanding in colored reflections. That she loved her wholly, with nothing left to protest. That she loved her like the world was in pieces, and she held half towards her. That she loved her more than she ever could say and that she was sorry, because she never would say it right. But, of course, she just cried instead.

The third was that she loved Morgan. This was nothing new, but everyday it seemed she was faced with a new facet of it, looking across at its stretching horizon and unimaginable lengths. She didn’t need to look up at the stars anymore to see a universe of bright colors and no edges. Morgan’s voice drifted across her thoughts and she buried her head further into the cushions. She never got embarrassed much, and certainly never to compliments for her body, but this time she flushed. “But you draw them in other places,” she mumbled into the fabric. Even if they felt more like squiggles to her, and even in asking Morgan to retrace them where she could see, she certainly wasn’t as excited about them. Even as she considered that her back must have been a bigger canvas, her face continued to heat at the prospect of more of this. “I’ll let you have a go at it when we’re in bed, but I’m not lying down like this again.” It was embarrassing, and moreover, a complete pain to turn herself around to hold Morgan. “Fates, is this how you feel when I compliment your body? It’s terrible…” she grumbled against her arms, burying her head deeper and deeper until it became difficult to breathe. “Remind me never to---” Deirdre jolted up, hissing, her eyes wide with a reflexive glint of betrayal. “That,” she sank back down with a huff, “would be the spot, I think.” But she was finding herself lacking in enthusiasm for Morgan to touch it again.  

Morgan gained confidence as Deirdre adapted to her touches. It was like a conversation unto itself, twitches yielding to stillness, squirms coupled with muffled giggles turning rough one moment and shy the next. Morgan fingered the ticklish spot near her side just to hear the laugh again, so careless and light. She dotted her with more kisses, laughing into some of them. “I do draw our constellations other places, but only this place makes you giggle like a fiend,” she said, brushing her fingers over a ticklish spot again. “I could try one now, if you want, when we’ve worked out your muscles a little more… and who says giving you a backrub can’t be a bedtime activity?” She kissed her girlfriend’s ear, grinning, “If you want me to straddle you, you just have to tell me.”

She couldn’t help but laugh at Deirdre’s reaction to her compliment. “That all depends on how this is making you feel. It’s okay to be a little bashful, it’s honestly a little bit cute. Not the same kind of cute as your winning confidence, but cute none the less.” She worked the area below her shoulder blades, switching it up between kneading the stiff muscle, almost hard as a slab, and drumming lightly on the surface. “I guess I feel a little bashful sometimes too. I do know I’m pretty attractive. Being the height of a fifteen year old isn’t always the greatest, but I’m pretty proportional, and my boobs are just sizable amount to earn me a once-over without giving me any back pain. People open doors for me, and, yeah, occasionally harass me. But when you say it it’s...it seems like I’m more than just pretty or cute. Sometimes it feels like even more than just an aesthetic. And it’s weird and sudden and nerves inducing...but in a way that’s nice.” She shifted her hands lover and moved...right onto Deirdre’s sorest spot. “Oh, my love,” she soothed, rubbing the soft plain of her back above where she was working. “Okay, here, yeah?” She pressed in with her thumb to be sure. “Brace yourself. I’ll go gently, but the looser I get this, the better you’ll feel.” She climbed on top of Deirdre, half straddling her legs, and leaned over her, propped up on the couch to keep from giving her girlfriend her whole weight. “I love you. Please tell me if you want me to stop.” She kissed her temple, lingering there in the memory of how soft her hair was. “And thank you, for trusting me with this.” She sat up, walking her hands back until she found the spot again and started to work it, gently as she’d assured she would, staring around the edges and working at the edges, gradually increasing the pressure, wincing all the while. When she’d told Deirdre help was never supposed to hurt, she hadn’t banked on lower back pain. At least the ‘better’ part would come soon.

“Hey,” laughter bubbled out of Deirdre, and she squirmed more, trying to wiggle away from Morgan’s fingers. “I’m not giggling like a fiend I’m just trying to---” she squirmed again, succumbing to another exhale of a laugh. It didn’t help that Morgan’s breath was spilling across her skin as she laughed too. “It tickles!” She protested, and then pouted and turned her head into Morgan’s kiss--both so her expression could be read and so she might sneak in more of a kiss. “No,” she added firmly, though her voice was airy. “Absolutely not. No more back rubs. This is the first and the last.” She groaned at the idea, her back might have appreciated it, but Deirdre’s pride certainly didn’t. She shifted her head back to bury it in her arms again, folding under her head to prop it up. “Straddle me,” she said, then paused. “Because, logically---” and she did stress that word. “It would be the most convenient position for you.” And for her to eventually flip over and pull Morgan down when she reached her threshold for back affection---and threshold she was quickly inching towards.

“I’m not bashful,” Deirdre argued, and might have sounded a little more convincing if her words didn’t blend into each other and if she wasn’t mumbling into the cushions again. But her face was red, and her blush had a terrible way of spreading to the back of her ears and down her neck where it spilled across the tops of her shoulders and trickled down the front of her chest. “I don’t want to be cute,” she mumbled again, sure now that her voice was taking a petulant edge. There were some discoveries being made about her back, and she wasn’t sure she liked them all. But the desire to snap shut and push Morgan away from her was quelled as her girlfriend continued; an opportunity to talk about how beautiful Morgan was (like the spell of a skeleton or the mossy remains of a rabbit long forgotten at the edge of a bog) was welcomed. “Do you want me to speak to any harassers? I’m good at snapping wrists,” she said first, then asked, “is it?” Was it? Morgan did compliment her appearance often, though it was nothing Deirdre didn’t already know (she loved to hear it all the same; she loved to hear it more from her) and so it wasn’t a thing like how she felt getting her flatback praised. She wasn’t sure if she liked it just yet. “You are beautiful,” she added. The manner with which she went about complimenting this aspect of Morgan shifted as she fluttered between metaphors. Today, she settled on a different one. “Like a shrike impales its prey among the thorny branches of a flowering bush; like the thing that’s always in the right spot even when its in a place it shouldn’t be; like the flowers between the thorns and the rodent taken from its underground home.” But her comparisons ended short as pain took over again. She tensed before she remembered her mother telling her that the more she resisted pain, the more it tended to hurt. She wasn’t sure exactly if that was ture, but learning how to force her body not to react to things it should, was everything a banshee was raised to do. And so, she relaxed, and sure enough, the mounting pain turned into relief.

And then it didn’t.

Deirdre jolted up, clawing at the couch to shove herself away. Somewhere far beyond Morgan, she remembered why she didn’t do this. In another place, her pain had seared with enough intensity for Morgan’s cooling touch to be lost. Between them, her threshold had been reached and the gates she opened snapped shut. Flatback, she remembered, ugly and wingless. Pain, she recalled, was her burden to bear and deserved with every lash. “Okay,” she huffed, “enough, I think. I’m fine.”

“Ticklish?” Morgan laughed. “Oh really? I’d never have guessed that at all. Are you sure though?” She tickled her one last time, then kissed the spots by way of apology. “My beautiful, ticklish, freckle-backed girl. Don’t think I’ll be forgetting this spot anytime soon. And thank you, for agreeing that this is the superior position for me, you know, strictly logically speaking.” She trailed more kisses around her back, feeling tingles up her fingers and cheeks with this new kind of affection she was discovering between them, and the words Deirdre gave her about herself only made her feel more airy and warm inside. These weren’t the compliments she’d been referring to, more like the strange passing moments when Deirdre simply called her beautiful, with her brown eyes staring into her with such gentle and absolute clarity. It startled her in a way that made her feel overexposed for a moment, and then safe. But these words with all their magnificent, macabre poetry, wrapped around her heart like the softest tendrils, binding her heart to Deirdre’s. These words didn’t just see inside her soul, but into her deadness, her necropsy, her stillness, the taste of brain on her tongue. They reminded her that she was whole even if her life was fragmented by death. Morgan didn’t need to close one eye or twist her head at a certain angle to stay beautiful. Even in her death, even on her worst day, she could still be wonderful to look at. She was still the person she believed herself to be, and maybe even the person she wanted to be.

“You don’t need to break any wrists,” she said gently. “Well, not unless they’re stupid enough to do it in your presence. But it’s just an occasional problem. Nothing to worry about.” She sighed thoughtfully, sparing an admiring look down on her girlfriend. “You really know how to impress a girl. And you wonder why I write down all the sweet things you say. I wish I could sound half as good when I say you’re beautiful. Maybe I should just dig out one of our poetry books, tell you something like...I imagine the geese love the air currents the same way I love the way you make me feel. And that I miss you as my heart misses its beat. I love your smile as...I don’t know, more than I love looking at the stars. I teach people how to appreciate the pretty words, I’m not as good as coming up with them on the fly myself.” She was glad Deirdre was on her back and couldn’t see whatever strange expression her face was making.

She went back to kneading Deirdre’s back, devoting herself with care to the knot, watching her fingers and the impression around each move. Not too much, she reminded herself. We have time, and when it’s over she’ll be so--

Terrified. Morgan felt Deirdre buck and scramble under her, unable to get away fast enough. She startled back, recoiling into the end of the couch and flailing in their mess of legs to help Deirdre get free. “Babe--!” She crashed to the floor, her bones gasping as her ankle snapped out of place. Morgan didn’t mind her ankle, but watched Deirdre, hand half outstretched. “Deirdre--” She tried again, soft and wavering with alarm. “We can stop now, yeah. It’s okay. I won’t--I won’t hurt you. Here--” She picked up Deirdre’s robe from the floor and crawled over to her. “Put this back on, alright? I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to upset you. We can be done now, though, okay? It can be over now. And I’m...I’m still here.” Dragging herself the last few inches, Morgan put the robe on her lap and laid her fingers on her arm.

Blood rushed to Deirdre's head. All she could hear was the pounding of her heart, frantic in a way it shouldn't be. She huffed, and looked around for Morgan. She was on the floor. Why was she on the floor? She tried to think. Floor, floor, floor; why would Morgan be on the floor? Then she was crawling up, offering her robe. And unmistakable against the soft lighting of their house was her ankle, bent wrong and then popped right back into place. As if she might just have imagined it. But she didn't. That was just how a zombie healed.

Then it clicked.

Deirdre scrambled towards Morgan, a feverish search for more injuries overcame her. She knew Morgan would have healed them by now, but it didn't stop her from checking. And from thinking, just what would it be like now if Morgan wasn't a zombie? Her pain would be unquestionable, and her ankle would still be in the wrong place. And that was Deirdre's fault, all of it. "Fuck," she heaved, unsure if she should touch Morgan (she was the one who hurt her, after all) but not knowing what to do with her hands if she couldn't. "I'm so sorry. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to—are you okay? Are you okay?" She bunched the robe in her hands and threw it behind her, reflexively thinking it was just another barrier between her and Morgan. Morgan's mouth was moving, Deirdre forced her heart to quiet so she could listen. It was an apology; why was she apologizing? That part didn't make sense no matter how hard she focused on it. "I'm sorry," she hiccuped. She didn't realize she was crying until a tear splashed down to stain the couch. Deirdre reached out for Morgan slowly, trying to grant her just enough time to push her away and call her a monster—or something to that effect—before she wrapped her arms around Morgan with increasing pressure. "Are you okay?" She asked again, then, "what can I do?" Repeated three times until her voice cracked. Then she remembered Morgan's apology and knew she had to correct that. "You didn't do anything wrong," she peppered rough kisses wherever she could, in-between her words and against her breathing. "I never thought you were going to hurt me, I never thought that." She wasn't sure what happened exactly, it was like a dam burst suddenly and she was drowning. But she should have said something about the cracks when she noticed them, she just wanted to be strong for Morgan, do this for Morgan, and then she wasn't. "I'm sorry," she cupped her girlfriend's face in her hands, itching to kiss her but knowing it would be wrong. "A-are you okay?" Deirdre sniffled. "How's your ankle? Do you want me to leave?"

Morgan was struggling to keep up. Deirdre was heaving for breath, caught in a panic that felt only a moment away from escalating, then she was on the floor in front of her, throwing one pleading question after another, all the while Morgan’s mind turned too slowly, trying to work out what she needed to do. How did she fix this? Morgan reached out for her arms, which fluttered over her like so many moths, but suddenly she was in her arms. Deirdre’s questions raced over her head, but at least like this, pressed against her body, snug and safe in the tight pressure of her grip, she could press one ear to her chest and let the world go muffled, Deirdre’s voice on one end, her racing heart on the other.

“Shhh…” Morgan whispered, pressing in harder. She palmed Deirdre’s heart, wishing she could simply soothe it with a soft touch and a word, and then her face was up again, held just out of reach from her banshee’s tear-stained face for kissing. Morgan covered Deirdre’s hand with her own and pressed in until she could feel a buzz of pressure from each of her fingers. “Shhh…” she said again. “It’s okay. We’re gonna be okay, my love.” She repeated the words softly and shifted closer, taking up Deirdre’s face in her hands so she could thumb away her tears. “Don’t be sorry. It’s okay, I’m here, I love you.” She brought their heads together and dropped a hand to Deirdre’s heart again. “Can you breathe for me, my love? Breathe slowly for me, so I know you’re okay? We can do it together, if it helps.” She kissed her in assurance, just a moth’s touch of a moment before awakening her lungs and starting. In, hold, out. “I’m not hurt, and I’m not mad…” In, hold, out. “I fell because I panicked, because I didn’t want to hurt you, or scare you. I don’t think it was anyone's fault, okay? What do you want right now? What can I do to help you feel better…?”

Why was she being comforted right now? It didn’t make sense. Morgan was hurt, she might have healed it away but she was hurt. And there was always something to blame for pain. Deirdre blinked, trying to keep along. But she couldn’t, even as Morgan started breathing to a familiar tune. “No, no, what are you doing? Morgan…” She frowned, her panicked heart continuing to thump quick under Morgan’s palm. “Why are you---you don’t have to---stop. Stop.” She pleaded softly, pulling her head away from Morgan. “I hurt you,” she asserted this; this was fact. “Let me make it better. Stop---don’t worry about me, please. I don’t need---please don’t. I saw your ankle; I hurt you.” How exactly was she supposed to be calm when she’d done a thing like that? Deirdre’s okayness was the last thing that mattered, if it mattered at all (which she never was truly convinced it did). “Please,” she begged with a choked sob. “That can’t be okay. What if you weren’t a zombie, Morgan? What if---” she tensed in lieu of finishing. “That shouldn’t happen. I don’t want that to happen. I don’t want to hurt you.” She hurt so many things, sometimes it felt like all she knew. But this; it could not extend to this. Morgan was all of her that was good, and she couldn’t taint that with the horrid thing she was raised to be. “Can I see it? Can I see your ankle?” She knew it would be better by now, but she wanted to look anyway.

Morgan faltered. Usually if she persisted enough, she could get Deirdre to realize there wasn’t as much to be upset about as she thought. The catastrophes in her mind were only trifles, nothing that couldn’t be soothed for the time being. But Deirdre’s panicking was getting worse and she begged so pitifully, Morgan couldn’t help but oblige her a little. “You can see it,” she said, wiping Deirdre’s eyes again and dotting her cheeks with kisses. “I’ll show you, okay? But only after you breathe. That’s what I want you to do for me. Can you breathe like that, please?” She tried it again, nice and slow, in, hold, out. Morgan pressed her hands firmly on either side of Deirdre’s face, cradling her still. “You didn’t hurt me. I dislocated my ankle on accident. Not even a break. And if I was alive and human that would still be true, I’d just maybe be crying about it more, okay? You didn’t hurt me. Now breathe for me, please?” Her fingers splayed out to stroke her hair and she smiled reassuringly. “I’ll show you I’m really okay, just breathe for me.” She demonstrated again, hoping to urge her to follow. In, hold, out.

For a moment, Deirdre considered this; that she would breathe as Morgan said and then verify that the foot she knew was okay was...well, okay. But the more she thought about it, and she thought about it alot in the span of a couple of seconds, the less this made sense to her. She needed to see it now, then she would calm down. “No,” her face twisted with impatience. “I need to see it---Morgan, I can’t---you don’t understand. You’re not---” She swallowed. Morgan was asking her to do this, for her, and she would have done anything for her. Besides, was she suddenly in some position where she had any right to argue her points? She hurt Morgan, she forfeited any reason she was owed then. But she couldn’t help but to feel like she was being bargained with like a child, which did nothing to soothe her. “Please,” she asked again instead, “just let me make sure you’re okay. Just---Just let me look at it. And that’s not---I saw it. It was---you’d be hurt. It’s not much of an accident if--” she sucked in a shaky breath. “Please.” One more time. “Let me see it, Morgan. Can I? Can we do this after? I can promise. Do you want a promise? Just, please, can I---” She hiccuped another sob. “Will you?”

Morgan didn’t know what else to do. “Fine. And it was an accident. You didn’t mean to be triggered anymore than I meant to lose my balance and fall off the couch,” she murmured tiredly. Sighing with defeat, she shifted herself until she was propped up in Deirdre’s arms, arms hanging loose around her middle, legs draped over her lap. She raised the ankle that had once been injured and touched it to make sure the bones were behaving themselves in their right place. She rolled her foot one direction, then the other. If anything was still off, she couldn’t feel it or see it. She nestled herself against Deirdre, nuzzling the crook of her neck and laying distracted kisses along her throat. “I’m okay,” she mumbled. She had been alarmed, even afraid, but only of how she might harm her banshee if she didn’t give her the space she needed fast enough. She bruised her enough on accident and made her fret with worry. Part of that was just the way of things, of learning how to exist like this, how to have separate and conjoined lives at once. And they were both plenty traumatized from other experiences, she didn’t really want to add more psychological distress to their plates. Morgan sighed again and tightened her hold on Deirdre’s body, wondering how many years it would take before their fears stopped making special guest appearances unannounced.

Deirdre’s gaze burned into Morgan’s ankle. She watched her move her foot one way and then the next. Eventually, she reached out and pressed her fingers into Morgan’s ankle. She felt around for her bone, making sure it was in its place, and that the surrounding muscle felt as it should. Unsurprisingly, she was fine. And Deirdre’s fear, though irrational, was satiated. Her probing touches turned into a distracted massage, images of Morgan’s ankle out of place plaguing her mind. “I’m sorry,” she said after a moment, absently working her hand up Morgan’s leg as if the rest of it must have been injured too. “I’m sorry. I just...wanted to make sure. I’m sorry.” Not that her no longer being injured changed what happened at all. Deirdre turned her head towards Morgan finally, raising her other hand to comb through her hair and rest against her head. As she said she would, she did her breathing: in, hold, out. And again, and again until she relaxed enough to hold Morgan properly. “I’m sorry.” She tried again, pressing a kiss to her forehead. “If it was something I could have prevented, it isn’t much of an accident to me. I should know better, do better.” She sighed, “and you’re sure that you’re okay?”

Morgan nodded along with Deirdre’s examination, sinking deeper with guilt the more Deirdre calmed and regained herself. She remained silent through it all, only signaling her attention through the lines and circles she caressed on Deirdre’s bare skin. Even when she was asked if she was really okay, Morgan struggled to find the words to respond. “You shouldn’t be sorry,” she said, voice faint. “I should’ve listened to you sooner. I thought I was putting you first, but you were telling me what you needed, over and over, and I just wasn’t...I thought if I acted like it was nothing, you’d realize that it was.” She smiled ruefully and put her head back down in Deirdre’s neck. “I’m sorry, Deirdre. I wanted to take care of you, I did. Do something special for an hour or two maybe, make you feel better, but I wasn’t… And I don’t see how you could have prevented any of this. You trusted me and you tried to let me in, and something went wrong, and it just fell apart a little. And, you know, I probably should’ve been checking in more in the first place.” Morgan sighed, combing out the ends of Deirdre’s hair that fell over her shoulders, frowning as she played everything back in her head. “I don’t think you’ve done anything wrong. But...yeah, I’m okay, babe.” Morgan turned in her grasp to hold her back just as well. “Nothing really hurts. I’m just sorry.”

"You shouldn't be sorry," Deirdre countered, but was left wondering how effective the two of them shifting blame to themselves was going to be. She gripped Morgan tighter, holding her flush against her body. "It's not your fault," she said quietly, and then said nothing else as she tried to figure out what she could say better to prove this, and how she could soothe with her hands. When it hit her, her voice dropped to a low hum and she asked Morgan softly, "do you trust me?"

“But it is my fault. And I am. I’m sorry...” Morgan said, voice trailing off. She grimaced, giving Deirdre another squeeze, pressing apologetic kisses on her shoulder. She was going to ask for forgiveness, but Deirdre’s voice dropped and her question struck her as weightier than it seemed. Morgan nodded in her arms, not looking up. “I trust you always,” she whispered.

Tilting Morgan’s head up, Deirdre made sure she could see her expression: the way her lips cracked up into a lopsided grin, the glint of anticipated amusement in her eyes. She wasn’t asking to make some groundbreaking claim, just to know if she could be allowed to do what she was thinking. And with confirmation now, there was nothing keeping her from grand gestures to prove her point. Her grin continued to grow until she leaned forward to capture Morgan’s lips in a fervent kiss, smiling against her there too. She rasped, “then hold me tight.”

With one sweeping motion, she hooked her arm under Morgan’s knees and lifted her into the air swiftly. She spun around, dancing with familiarity around their furniture in clean, quick circles. She twirled them back, dipping Morgan down to finally release her against the welcoming plush of their couch, the very same she’d fallen from. Seconds after, Deirdre joined her by moving on top, interlocking their legs and propping herself up with her arms planted at either side of Morgan’s head, careful to avoid pulling on her hair. Just yet, at least. “Do you see that---frankly---lackluster painting over there?” She pointed to the one of the night time landscape of a serene beach, a decidedly unchallenging piece that had survived their renovations and redecorations. “Behind that is the safe where I keep your letters. Or, where I’ve kept most of the evidence of our love; there were some notes I took, about things I wanted to give you, or thought you might like. Do you remember when I first said I loved you? I must have wrote that letter a thousand times, and I kept all the drafts thinking there might be a way to stitch them all together to say what I wanted. Admittedly, I went about that all wrong, but what I was trying to do was present to you all of myself, and my thoughts, and allow you to make an informed decision about your love.” She pointed above them, “in the closet--you know, the unnecessarily big one in our room---there’s a hidden trove of things I kept buying, because they made me think of you, or because I thought you might like to have them. I must have started that collection months ago, and I still find myself adding to it. I don’t think you’d actually like to get ten different kinds of mugs, so I’ve just been keeping them, because I don’t know where else they’d go. All I’ve ever wanted to do, Morgan, was give to you. Sometimes I don’t know how, sometimes you know a lot better than me. Most of the time though, I am plagued with doubt. Not of my love, but of myself. At any point, at any of the panic realizing that I love you has given me, I could have said something. I could have stopped, I could have given up. But I didn’t...because you inspire me, Morgan. You make me good and strong and feel like anything’s possible, even the hard things; even learning something I couldn’t believe was true. I want to be good to you, I want to give to you, I want to try for you. Sometimes beyond my own limit. That’s what leads to clumsy love confessions, and, evidently, tossing you off a couch. But it’s not your fault.”

Deirdre smiled, leaning down to kiss Morgan, trailing more along her jaw and down her neck until she reached the collar of her shirt. “Don’t be sorry for being good to me,” she spoke into the fabric, tilting her head up to look at her love. “You didn’t do anything wrong, and I’m sorry I’m too stubborn to understand myself sometimes. But your safety is never nothing to me, and if I hurt you, I’d like you to show me if you can. If you’re hurt in general I---” she gulped. “I’d like to know. I think I’d need to know.” Deirdre leaned down to kiss Morgan again. “It’s not your fault. I love you, and I’m sorry, and thank you. You’re so good to me, Morgan. And I love you so much, and I love everything that you do, and thank you. And---” She leaned back, bending over to pick up her robe off the floor and slip it back on before grinning down at Morgan. “My back doesn’t hurt anymore.”

Morgan didn’t understand why Deirdre was smiling so radiantly. Her cheeks, still flushed and shiny with dried tears glowed with the kind of spark that went beyond her everyday delight in doting on Morgan, too wondrous for words. Morgan nodded again, half agape and then they were kissing, flying through the room. Deirdre moved so swift and fluidly, Morgan barely had time to squeal with shock before she was flat on her back, staring up at a world off kilter, and Deirdre leaning over her, her anchor in the chaos, speaking with that gentle, absolute confidence that made Morgan shiver with affection. She had never known anyone to speak like this about relationship things, not with the kind of earnest explicitness or the consistency that she did. It was the kind of confidence that went beyond herself, that was bright enough to obliterate Morgan’s own doubts, down to her darkest and deepest. How strange, that they could give like this, creating an overwhelming abundance while seeming to give so little. Even magic, Morgan realized, didn’t have a complete answer.

Her eyes welled as Deirdre explained where she hid her share of their bounty. Morgan had wondered how Deirdre coped with her affection before, how she kept from staring with stupid, lovestruck faces or welling up with happiness like an overemotional child the way Morgan did. This whole time she had suspected Deirdre’s banshee control, but her love had simply transmuted her feelings into these objects and hidden them in plain sight. Was this why their room only felt more sacred the more time they spent there, because it was steadily filling with Deirdre’s love in every mug, every too-human reference, every strange, indecipherable impulse purchase?

“You don’t...you don’t have to go past your limit for me, not like that,” Morgan stammered in a whisper, smiling through her tears. “You give me so much…” It was all she could do not to sob when Deirdre said she was good to her. Morgan knew this; it was an objective that consumed her attention so easily. There had been so little good for Deirdre for so long, and she knew so little of what she truly deserved, Morgan didn’t want to take advantage of the knowledge deficit and somehow make away with her love without having truly earned it. But Deirdre knew. Deirdre understood and called it good. She could see past her shortcomings and simply declare her intentions and her sometimes-clumsy efforts good while talking about something else altogether, as if that distinction was too obvious to merit discussion. “I’ll tell you when I’m hurt,” Morgan assured her, reaching up to touch her folded arms, her full cheek, as much of her as she could. “I can work on that--” She kissed her back desperately, aching to unload her own abundant affection, to give all of it for its own sake if not in recompense for her thoughtlessness before it burst through her in some strange way of its own accord.

Morgan sniffled, palming away her own tears as she whispered her love in return. “I love you, I love you always, I want everything for you, I want as much good for you as possible. Wait--” At last her face broke into a smile bright as Deirdre’s own. “It doesn’t?”

“I know I don’t have to, but I want to.” Deirdre smiled. “I want to be better for you. I want the kind of world where I don’t really care about my back or my past or--fates, anything but the things I want. If I can get to that good place sooner, I want to get there. I don’t know how, but I want it. You make me want better, for you but...for myself too.” She didn’t think any of that was possible, even then, her mind rang with the idea that none of it was deserved. But her heart soared, and she wanted more for them. A world that was brighter than bright, kinder than kind. A place where their pain could not touch them, if it even existed at all. A fantasy, she realized, but one that felt more realistic every time their love grew. If concrete could crack and give way for flowers to grow, so too could something special like this. “I could give you more,” she whispered. Pressing more kisses to Morgan where and when she could; they framed her breaths and ended her sentences. Her affection was given like a rushing tide, trying to wash over any of Morgan’s doubts. “Thank you,” she kissed the corner of her eyes, thumbing away tears. “For that.” Another kiss. “It would help.”

Deirdre shook her head, “no.” She leaned back just enough to demonstrate her miracle healing by twisting her body left and right. It might have been the shock of Morgan’s injury, or the sudden spinning or even the earlier massage, but for better, she couldn’t feel a single ache. “Must be your magic,” she grinned, “or all of that practice rubbing people you’ve apparently had. Which, speaking of, don’t think you’re getting away with.” Deirdre kissed Morgan again, slow but earnest, filled with as much love as she could push into one gesture. “I love you always, Morgan Beck. And if you ever need a bunch of mugs, let me know.”

#as though i had wings #wr deirdre #wr chatzy #wr deirdre chatzy #abuse tw #mentions of #wickedswriting

[clairecrive]

“Let’s stay home”| Quarantine AU

As promised here chapter 5. I’ve made it long to apologize about posting it late. Again, I’m sorry. However, I hope you enjoy it. As always if you have any ideas or things you’d like to see happen, let me know! Next chapter, someone will make a cameo, who do you think will be?

Tag list: @deaflikehawkeye, @mollybegger-blog, @of-love-and-of-the-sea, @br0ck-eddie, @fandom--0verdose, @evelynshelby, @shadow-of-wonder, @innerpaperexpertcloud, @sopxhiea, @fuseburner (let me know if you wanna be added)

If you lost a chapter: Masterpost

Chapter 5 - “Concert”

"Oh my god, yes, yes, yes!" Her loud scream of enthusiasm was heard throughout the house alarming its guests.

"What? What's going on?!" Tommy ran out of his room out of concern regarding her screech, thinking the worst.

"What the bloody hell is going on here?" Came Alfie's annoyed grunt as he got up from the chair he was sitting on with the help of his cane. Being cooped up in the house all day wasn't helping his sciatica at all.

But Emma didn't grace either of them with an answer. Instead, she simply jumped off her bed while calling her friend on Facetime, completely clueless of the worried men that were standing outside her room waiting to know what was going on.

Squirming on her feet, failing at staying still, Emma sported a huge smile on her face while she waited for her friend to connect. Half expecting to see Bane's face popping up on the screen, Alfie thought about leaving, not wanting to repeat the other day's situation but contrary to his expectation, a female face appeared on the screen. Adjusting his position against the door so that he was more comfortable, he now was genuinely curious. It was the first time that Emma talked with a female friend. He had even begun to think that she didn't have any.

"Jen, have you heard?" She excitedly asked her friend that seemed none the wiser.

"Emma, it's literally 8 am here. You're lucky I even answered you."

"Well then, I'm about to make your day ten times better. Check the message I've sent you on Telegram."

"Can't you just tell me?" Jen's tired voice complained

"That's not fun, I'm building the suspense." Emma firmly explained waiting for Jen to do as she said.

"What do you think is going on?" Tommy asked Alfie.

"I've no idea mate. No idea." Alfie simply said, scrolling his shoulders while not removing his eyes from Emma's form.

After a couple of seconds of silence, which saw Emma grinning like a fool and Tommy and Alfie simply standing there like some clueless bodyguards, Jen's squeal brought Emma's smile only to widen while Tommy and Alfie were startled, the former losing his balance while the latter lost his grip on his cane. What the hell...

"Thank all the gods in Olympus, they've blessed us!" Jen's face reappeared on the screen now mirroring Emma's expression.

"I'm so happy Jen, you've got no idea. I really thought they were just going to refund us."

"I told you, you had to be positive about this! You never listen to me, you pessimistic bitch." Jen sassed making Alfie's eyebrows shot up and Tommy's lips to pout.

"Can you, for the love of God, tell us what's going on?" Alfie's voice prevented Emma to respond, making her finally aware of their presence in her room.

"Oh, hello boys." She simply greeted him not understanding their worried stance. When they gave her an allusive look she finally explained with a big smile.

"Harry's concert got rescheduled."

"And that's what got ya screamin like a fucking banshee?" Alfie grumbled

"Other concerts have been simply cancelled and the tickets refunded. This way we still get to see him." Now fully facing them, she elaborated.

"Fucking hell." Alfie simply muttered under his breath leaving the room. She turned to Tommy but her confusion only grew.

"Next time I hear you screaming, you better be dying." He said before leaving as well.

As confused as ever, her face resembled the question mark which made Jen laugh.

"Ugh, men," Emma joked.

"While we're on the subject, how's the living together thing going?" Jen noisily asked wiggling her eyebrows making Emma know that she was here for the tea.

"It's going well actually. So far, at least. They've been surprisingly helpful so I'm not complaining."

"You're stuck with three handsome, mouth-watering men and that's all you're going to tell me?"

"I know they're attractive Jen but nothing is going to happen. We're friends."

"If I were you, I'd walk naked all the time and hide their clothes so that they'd also have to be naked all the time. You'll see how something will happen then." Jen shared her absurd plan topping it with a suggestive wink.

"You're missing Nik, eh?" Emma affirmed more than asked knowing very well that being away from her boyfriend was really taking its toll on Jennifer.

"You've no idea. This is going to be pretty tough, not going to lie. There's only so much we can do on video chat and of course, it's not like the real thing." Her friend complained, making it very clear why she was missing her boyfriend so much. If there was something that Jennifer wasn't, it's certainly being smooth. She's the kind of person that's very upfront about things, whatever they are.

"I can imagine." Was Emma's attempt at being sympathetic. Her relationship with sex was really different, however, she could understand Jen's problem. If she had a boyfriend whom she loved as much as Jen loved Nick, maybe she'd miss the connection that comes with sex too.

"I'm here, terribly horny and suffering for this quarantine and you're standing there surrounded by dicks and you won't take advantage of it!" Jennifer loudly complained, getting cruder and cruder and Emma couldn't help but scrunch her face in horror at her friend's choice of words.

"My god Jen, get a grip on yourself girl," Emma jokingly reprimanded her, " You should have come here when I invited you then."

"Unfortunately for me, I'm awfully loyal and Nick's dick is the only one that I want. But I know that you'd have been delighted by my presence, you don't have to pretend."

"Oh damn, you got me. My life is empty without you." Emma indulged her. It wasn't completely false, she did miss the girl a lot.

"I know, I know. Listen, babe, I've gotta go, Nick's calling me. I'll talk to you later and please, think about what I've told you, okay?"

"Yeah, yeah, bye Jen." Emma willingly ignored her last statement and ended the call with a nostalgic smile.

Emma was fully aware of how unconventional most of her relationships were. She never really thought about them that way, it was always people's reaction to them that made her realize how strange to an outsider might look. But to be fair, however unorthodox her relationships may seem, they were all based on mutual respect and honesty. When people asked her if it was true that she and Tommy were just friends, Emma would always be puzzled by their astonishment. Yes, they had been together. So what? Some people work better as friends. And yes, Emma wasn't blind, Tommy was sexy af but while she could admit it without shame she would also be lying if she said that she thought of being with him. Been there, done that. It didn't work so she moved on. As did he, there was an understanding between them.

Alfie was a totally different thing.

They had started off as friends but both of them felt that there was more. That there could be more. And in fact, there was. They tried it out and it was working just fine until her job cut in and ruined everything. She had to leave. And neither of them were too sure of a long-distance relationship. Alfie respected her decision, he knew how important her job was for her, how ambitious she was. But breaking up was inevitable. And so they did.

However, since there really was mutual respect and affection between them, they kept in touch. Sure, it wasn't the same thing and both of them had had different partners in the meantime, but they always found their way back to each other.

So, when it came to them, friends was a reductive word but it was better than to explain their whole relationship to some stranger every time. They would better fit under the heading "it's complicated" but a global pandemic wasn't the right time to deal with this situation and finally label their relationship. Emma knew that that was why she was ignoring Alfie's jealous remarks and Jenn's proposal. Things were already difficult, neither of them needed them to be even more complicated.

Days went on like this then: Tommy and Alfie that would bicker from time to time, always because Alfie would provoke him in some way; Eddie would jump in and either fuel their discussion or would spend his time tormenting Emma. He was surprisingly helpful though. He would go out and go shopping for necessities claiming that it was impossible for him to get infected, he would help her clean up and take care of the house. As long as he lent a hand as he was doing, Emma wouldn't complain about him pestering her. Emma and Bane would still video call every other day to keep in touch but he was unexpectedly evasive when it came to his whereabouts.

Everything was going fine. Emma knew that she was one of those who had it good, that's why she couldn't find it in herself to complain about this whole situation. However, if she could speak freely, she'd have to admit that her mood was progressively getting worse. She tried to keep a routine to keep her busy but the truth was that she was finding it harder and harder to get out of bed and do things, with each passing day.

She still tried though. Because she had taken a commitment with the other guys and had chores to do, but also because of her job. And most importantly she didn't want anyone to know that she was feeling so blue. Emma was one of those people that prefer to deal with their problems by themselves and shy away from any kind of attention when they're going through something.

Up until this day, end of week two in lockdown, she had pulled it through. For whatever reason though, this day had hit her harder than any other. Maybe it was because of the article she was supposed to write. It was about self-love, how important it is and what are the different ways one could take care of themself quarantine edition. The topic wasn't weird perse, Emma wrote frequently about this kind of stuff, it was just that she felt like a scam writing it. How could she write about self-love and ways in which people could make themselves happy, especially in these difficult times, when she was the first one who was miserably failing in doing so?

Yes, it was definitely this the reason for her sulking.

She was lying on her bed facing the ceiling with her head dangling at the end of it trying to find a way around this article that she had to write. Caught up in her thoughts, she didn't realize that the door of her room was open and that anyone passing through could see.

"Em?" Tommy's voice anchored her to reality and made her eyes snap open. However, she remained in her weird position, not bothered to lift up nor to answering him.

"What are you doing?" He walked further into the room but didn't get too close to her.

"Thinking." Emma just mumbled, scooping a little further so that her head wasn't hanging anymore. Nodding, Tommy got close to her now, and lied down beside her but facing the other way.

The reason why Emma and Tommy had stayed friends after they had hooked up, was because before that night they had actually hung out a lot. Emma was writing a piece on the tournament he was taking part in, Sparta, and had heard about him and his brother. In order to actually write the article, Emma had to speak with both of them. She didn't expect to get along so well with both of them. Not that Tommy was that much of a talker when they first met. Only a few short answers here and there and the occasional joke. However, Emma knew a little of his backstory and had also the impression that there was more to him than met the eye. He was hurt. Emma had no doubt about that. And just like her, when he was hurt talking to people was the last thing she wanted.

After coming to that realisation, dealing with Tommy became easier. He gradually opened up to her, even if it was only a little, and they got along really well. In some way, they were alike. And once you've found a soul similar to yours you tend to keep it close.

With time Tommy had learnt to read Emma just like she did with him during their first time together and come to the understanding that when Emma closed off like this, she was hurting.

He didn't say anything. He just laid there, next to her. Held her hand letting her know that he was there for her but leaving her the time to open up if she wanted to that is.

"Right, what's goin on in here?" Alfie's voice startled them both but while Tommy rolled his eyes, a little annoyed by his interruption, Emma reluctantly smiled at his antics. Sometimes, she wondered why he was so amusing to her and then realized the warmth and comfort that he brought her along with his annoying ways.

Pushing her head so that she was looking at him upside down, she smiled when she saw him standing there with his hands on his hip like an angry lady.

"Could you please stop pouting and come here and cuddle with us?"

Everyone knew that Emma was an affectionate friend. But for her to be so outspoken about it and asking for affection? It was a red sign and Alfie recognized it. So stop pouting he did and made Tommy scoop so that he could lay on her other side, holding her hand.

Their sweet cuddling session would be short because Eddie would soon be coming back from the grocery store but they all enjoyed while it lasted. Sometimes, Emma realized, the best self-love tip was simply being surrounded by our loved ones.

#let's stay home #quarantine AU #modern alfie solomons #alfie solomons #alfie #alfie solomons fanfic #modern alfie solomons fic #tommy conlon #tommy riordan #tommy conlon fic #eddie brock #eddie brock fic #alfie x oc #tommy x oc #eddie x oc #alfie solomons fluff

[ellewritesathing]

So Close - S.S. XXVII

Summary: The universe has a funny way of putting the things you want right in front of you, but just out of reach. Stiles and Y/N have been best friends ever since Scott brought him home, but when Stiles realizes that he might want to be something other than best friends, she leaves to go to some fancy private school up North. Now that she’s back though … maybe he’s got a shot? A Teen Wolf AU in which the reader has always been so close to Stiles and yet so far.

Masterlist Prev. | Part 27

Word-count: 3.7k+

A/N: so close kind of fell to the back burner for me for a little while, but you guys have been so amazing with all your likes and feedback on it that it makes me 💕💕 i’m hoping to write the end of this season in the next few days so they should be up soon!! thanks for sticking around and sharing this with me 💖

You weren’t sure what made you feel worse; the fact that Noah was shot or the fact that you weren’t there to help when it happened. You were trying to finish a chemistry lab that was due the next day. It was starting to feel like, no matter how present you were in one aspect of your life, another started to crumble when you weren’t looking. 

And then you felt guilty because of how pretentious that sounded. Your name wasn’t on the deadpool. Your dad wasn’t the one in the hospital with a bullet stuck in his shoulder. Other than some scrapes and bruises, you were the most okay out of everyone in your friend group, so why did it feel like you were handling it the worst? 

You didn’t have time to figure it out as you pulled into the parking lot of Beacon Hills Memorial and gathered up your stuff. It took you a minute to get the nurses - friends of your mom who wanted to know how the new relationship was going because ‘your first boyfriend can be a real challenge sometimes, dear’ - to leave you alone so you could track down Noah’s room. 

When you got there, Noah was lying back in his hospital bed, his forearm barely resting on the book and stack of papers on his tray, and Stiles was collapsed into the armchair, looking tired and defeated, leaning his head in his hand as he watched his dad. 

“There’s my two favorite guys. Don’t tell Scott I said that.” You’d drawn out the first part with a half-hearted smile and rushed to add the second. You closed the door gently behind you and made your way over to where Stiles was. 

He smiled when he saw you but it was an empty sort of smile that left you feeling a little hollow as he straightened up to make space for you on the chair. He wrapped an arm around your waist as you settled in.

“The morphine’s pretty much knocked him out,” Stiles said, looking back at his dad. “I don’t think he’s telling anyone anything for a while.” 

“At least he’s getting some rest,” you said quietly, ducking your head slightly so you tucked underneath Stiles’ chin as you moved your legs over his. “I’m not sure if he ever really sleeps.”

“Do you?” 

You looked at your hands and how they fit with Stiles’ as you thought about his question. There were only some nights when you managed to sleep like you used to, but most of them were now filled with anxiety and a night-light. “No. Not really. Not without you.”

Stiles had a small, lopsided smile when you looked back at him, still playing with your interlaced fingers. “Yeah, yeah, I-” he tilted his head for a second, rethinking his words. “I don’t sleep without you either.”

---

You found Lydia waiting for you on the porch when you and Stiles finally got back to his house after what felt like an eternity at the hospital. Technically, she was waiting for Stiles but she liked that you were there to help connect the dots. 

Stiles was visibly trying to connect them with red tape on his big conspiracy boards, sticking up a photo of Lorraine and Maddy on top of a photocopy of Lorraine’s code, but nothing was coming together in a helpful way.  

“Lyd, I know you feel guilty about what happened with Meredith, but this wasn’t your fault,” you said as gently as you could when she finished talking. “Your grandmother was just trying to find someone like her; she didn’t mean for what happened to happen to Meredith.” 

“That doesn’t change the fact that it happened,” Lydia sniped. She sighed and rubbed her temples, stopping her pacing in front of the board again. In a strained, level voice, she continued, “My grandmother drove her to insanity and I drove her to suicide. The only difference between me and her is that she left me a piece of code, and I don’t know how to crack it.” 

“Hey, it’s okay. We’ll figure this out just like we always do.” Stiles attempted to comfort her by squeezing her shoulder lightly, but she didn’t visibly respond to that. “Why don’t the three of us take a day off tomorrow and figure this out?”

“You mean skip school?” Lydia asked. He nodded. 

“Like, for the entire day?” you asked. He nodded again.

“Yes, that’s what skipping means, people!” Stiles sounded exasperated as he waved around his arms, but then he stopped when he saw you biting your lip. He softened his approach. “Why? What do you have tomorrow?” 

“Detention if I miss another day,” you said, running a hand through your hair. “And probably a failing grade in geometry.” 

“I can tutor you,” Lydia offered, big banshee eyes pleading with you to stay. 

It broke your heart to see her looking so small and hopeful like that. You were about to give in when Stiles started speaking again. 

“No, I’ll drop you off in the morning,” he said, putting a hand on the back of his neck. “I should probably go to at least one of my classes anyway.” 

“Okay. Then I’ll meet you back here at around 09:30?” Lydia asked. 

Stiles nodded and she started gathering up her stuff while you stared at the board. Something was missing but you couldn’t figure out what it was. You just needed one more dot and everything would- 

“Hey.” Stiles interrupted your thoughts and you looked up at him. “Should I move these out of here or are you okay to get some sleep?” 

“Yeah, I’ll be okay.” You stretched out on the bed and yawned. “I’ve got you, don’t I?” 

“No matter what.”

---

“Stiles, I’m serious. Come pick me up and I’ll go to Eichen House with you guys,” you said for the millionth time into the phone. You were in the process of shoving books into your bag in an attempt to clean out your locker while Scott was at practice. “I literally couldn’t care less about some dumb bonfire.” 

“I know, but this is kind of time-sensitive and I thought you were having a day of normal teenager things anyway,” he said. His voice sounded far away so he’d probably started driving again and put you on speakerphone. 

“Yeah, but-” 

“Going to a dumb bonfire is way more normal teenager than going to a mental institution,” Lydia chimed in. How long had she been listening? “I promise I’ll bring him back in one piece, sweetheart.” 

Sighing, you weighed your options. Argue with the two people who knew how to argue circles around you or give up and seem supportive; both sounded horrid. 

“Fine,” you said eventually. “But promise to text me when you get there and let me know when you’re on your way to the bonfire?” 

“Won’t even use abbreviations,” Stiles said. You could hear the sarcastic smile in his voice. For someone who recently almost got killed, he seemed to think your anxiety was a lot funnier than you expected him to. “Don’t worry, babe, Lydia and I can handle this.” 

“I know,” you sighed. You slammed your locker shut and leaned against it. “I love you dummies so you better be careful.” 

“I always am.” Lydia’s sing-song voice drifted to your ears right before the call disconnect chime did. 

You tried not to dwell on the nervousness in your stomach as you went to find Scott. Seriously, what kind of practice lasted until this late in the day? Stomping through the halls, you heard Coach yelling and figured that was a safe bet to find him. 

Instead, you found Coach holding about a dozen printed pages in his hand as he tried to figure out how to shut off the printer, even more pages scattered all over the floor. They looked eerily familiar. You bent down to pick one up and realized why; it was an updated deadpool missing Derek, crossing out the names of the already dead, and upping Liam’s price. 

Liam and Scott pulled you aside just as you finished reading it. 

“What the hell is this?” you asked, echoing Coach and shoving the paper in Scott’s chest like it was his fault the list updated. An action, by the way, that you instantly regretted. 

“Derek’s not on the list anymore,” Scott mumbled to himself instead of answering your question.  

“And I’m not worth three million,” Liam said. “It’s eighteen now.” 

---

Despite the new and terrifying deadpool, Scott still insisted you guys still go to the bonfire. He was the team captain, he said, and this way he could still keep an eye on Malia (if she showed up. None of you had heard from her since that day in the vault) and Liam and any other wolves that showed up. His reasoning didn’t change the bad feeling in your gut and the anxiety you felt when the two of you started walking around. 

It didn’t take long to find Malia jumping around to electro-dance music, flask in hand and looking like she didn’t have a care in the world. God, you wished you could compartmentalize like that.

“Let me talk to her?” you asked, catching Scott’s arm. He was about to say no when you gave him a look. “Please?” 

“Fine,” he said reluctantly. “I’ll try looking for Liam. Meet me at the bleachers in five?” 

“You know it,” you said, squeezing Scott’s arm before heading over to Malia. “Hey, I didn’t know you were coming.” 

“That’s ‘cause I didn’t want to tell you.” Malia kept dancing but she must have sensed your unease because she stopped long enough to look at you. “This is the best place to get drunk on short notice.” 

That made you laugh and she pulled you in a bit closer to sway with her. It reminded you of the trip to Mexico all those months ago - funny how things (and feelings) change with time. “You know that you guys can’t get drunk, right? Werewolves, I mean. It’s something to do with the healing, apparently.”

“Someone should try telling him that,” she said, nodding her head behind her just as she lifted her arm to give you a twirl. You spotted Liam on a bench with Mason holding a bottle covered by a paper bag. He took a huge swig as Scott made his way over to him. 

“I think someone’s about to,” you mumbled, still uneasy. Malia kept dancing, not really paying any attention to you until you squeezed her hand. “You know I wanted to tell you, right? Stiles’s got it in his head that he’s the resident Malia expert but- well, I’m the Hale expert. I knew this thing was gonna blow up.” 

“You know about my family?” Malia asked, thudding back to the ground and stopping to look at you. It was the first time she was still since you and Scott came over to talk to her. 

“Yeah, I-” you stopped when you saw Liam toss a plastic bottle to the side and storm off. “I’ve gotta go, but I’ll send you Cora’s number. You two should talk.”

Her complaints were drowned out by the music almost as soon as you started walking away from her. You had to jog slightly to catch up to Liam, hoping that Scott would go find Malia again. 

“Hey,” you said, grabbing his arm to force him to stop. “Hey, biscuit, look at me.” 

“What?” He didn’t mean to snap as he turned around, but he also probably didn’t mean to stumble when he turned to look at you. 

“I came to tell you that werewolves can’t get drunk, but I think you might be the exception.” You frowned and tightened your grip on his arm once he started swaying slightly on the spot. “Buddy, you okay?”

“Get Scott.” He seemed to have to force out the words. 

“Okay, come on,” you said as you looped around Liam’s waist and he held onto your shoulders. “Let’s get you to Mason and then I’ll go find Scott, okay?” 

By the time you got Liam to the bench where Mason was, Scott was already there with Malia and trying to get her to drink some water. “Oh no, Liam too?” he asked, sounding a little over his head. 

Lucky for him, you went to a prep school before this. You knew what to do. You could hear Scott and Mason talking while you tried to get through to Liam. He might have to throw up before you could do anything. You were still holding his head and making sure Malia was drinking her water when Scott started stumbling. 

“How much have you had to drink?” Mason asked him. 

“He hasn’t had anything,” you said, taking Scott’s hand and trying to guide him to the bench. In a slightly lower voice, you asked, “It’s the deadpool, isn’t it?” 

He nodded and tried to say something. He was feeling the effects a lot quicker than Liam and Malia had. “It’s the DJ. I’ve gotta- gotta stop him.” 

“No, you need to get out of here,” you said, hand on his shoulder to keep him upright. “Mason will take you to the car and I’ll deal with the slice of wonderbread on stage, alright?” 

He was still arguing when you walked away, telling Mason to keep an eye on them and try to get them to the car if he could. He asked where you were going and you made up something that sounded a little less ridiculous than ‘to stop the soundwaves that are killing my brother.’

You managed to get pretty close to the stage before the DJ made some hand signal and a guard tried to grab at you. You twisted out of the grip, pulling him forward, and bent his wrist back. Kicking him to the side, you kept going but his failed attack just caused more of the security to come after you. 

One of them managed to get a hold of you and carried you off to the side, where Mason cut them off and started yelling at them to let go of his friend. It was kind of touching watching him yell at them like that; you didn’t know you were that close. It also provided an excellent distraction for you to kick the guard’s shin and elbow his solar plexus as you landed on the ground. You whacked him with the nightstick and looked at Mason. 

“What are you?” he asked, more surprised than upset. 

“Come on,” you smiled and grabbed his hand. “You ever destroy a power generator before?” 

“No, have you?” 

You didn’t answer as you led him back to the side of the stage that housed all the controls. You handed him the nightstick and told him to go wild before engaging Derek’s knife and climbing onto the stage. The DJ seemed less impressed with you than Mason had been.

“What the hell do you think-” 

He didn’t get to finish because you kicked him in the legs, hard. Cutting the wire of his headphones, you leaned over to the mic on the mix-board. “Hey, guys? Someone called in about real cops heading this way,” you said. “The school security isn’t allowed to make arrests for underage drinking so-” 

Then it was your turn not to finish your sentence. Kids started scattering and Mason finished abusing the electrical equipment, leaving an emptiness of the bonfire and teenage screaming in the space where the music had been before. The DJ started squirming away and you put your foot on his back and pressed down. 

Knocking the wind out of him, you said. “You’re going to stay right here until my friends come back.” He spat some very dirty words at you and you rolled your eyes. You’d been called worse. “Hey, Mason, can you watch him for me?” 

Mason nodded and scrambled on stage to tie the guy’s hands behind him. “Go find Liam.” 

--- 

Growing up, you always heard people on TV talk about how much they hate hospitals, but to you it was just the place where your mom worked. Never anything special, just the place you went when your idiot brother broke a bone or your mom had a late shift and no one to watch you. Now it was where you went whenever someone tried to kill your friends. 

You hated hospitals. 

You got to Stiles’ room just as he finished an argument with your mom. Telltale signs of sulking and parental annoyance were in the air. 

“Like cassettes?” Mel asked him. 

“Yes, tapes,” Stiles said, sounding like they’d been going back and forth for a little while already. He caught your eye over your mom’s shoulder and smiled for a second. 

“Yeah, I’ll see what I can do,” she said, backing up to start walking away before bumping into you. “Oh, hey, sweetie, how was the bonfire?” 

“Killer,” you smiled as she kissed your cheek.

Melissa frowned, clearly not liking your answer but not having the time to deal with it just yet. “We’ll talk later.” 

“Okay, but tapes, though, please,” Stiles called after her as she started to leave and you stepped into the room. 

“Cassettes,” Mel said in her customer service voice before closing the door.

You started walking over to the bed and Stiles’ expression turned serious again. “Hey, I was still going to call but my phone’s in evidence and-” he stopped talking when you wrapped your arms around him and rested your chin on his shoulder, pressing your face to his cheek lightly. “And I didn’t want you to freak out.” 

“I’m just glad you’re okay,” you said softly, adjusting slightly to kiss his cheek as he wrapped a hesitant arm around you. “You are okay, right?” 

“Aside from the concussion your mom says I have,” he said with a sigh. His free hand moved up to hold onto your arm that crossed his chest to meet your hand behind his head. Everything connected. “Yeah, I’m okay. I’m too tired to be anything else.” 

You didn’t know how to answer so you went back to holding onto him, tracing patterns on his upper back with your thumbs. The two of you were so close in the silence that you could hear his heartbeat. It was coming down, slowly, the longer you held him. 

“Uh, Stiles?” you asked a little awkwardly after a few minutes as you shifted away from him slightly. “Do you have something in your pocket?” 

“Huh?” he asked, sounding like you’d snapped him out of some daydream as he looked down. “Oh, yeah, one of Brunsky’s tapes. Did they say anything to you other than that I got almost killed?” 

“I stopped listening after that,” you said as you pulled your legs up to cross them on the bed. Your shins rested on his thighs once he fug the tape out of his pockets. “What happened?” 

“Meredith is the Benefactor. She was using Brunsky as a proxy because he’s an angel of death,” Stiles said as he handed you the cassette. “The serial killer kind, not the biblical kind.” 

“I figured,” you said, pushing your hair out of your face so you could look at the tape properly. It was just a regular cassette with Lydia’s grandmother’s name in sharpie on the top. No different to the way Stiles scrawled the title to the breakup mix on the CD or the play me deadpool tape. “He always creeped me out in the stories you told me about Eichen House.” 

“Eichen House creeped me out in my stories about Eichen House,” Stiles said with a sigh. He watched you turning over the tape in your hands, looking for something that told about what was on it. “But I wouldn’t worry. He’s dead now.” 

You stopped flipping over the tape and looked up at him. He was haunted. Those tired eyes of his had seen too many people die in front of them. “But you’re still alive.” 

“I always live,” Stiles said. He was looking at his hands. Did he see something in them or did he just not want to look at you? “Even when …” 

You reached over to touch his hands when he didn’t say anything else. “Even when?” 

“Even when I shouldn’t,” he said. Stiles’ voice was blunt as he looked up to meet your gaze. “I lived when other people should’ve instead.” 

“You lived because you’re supposed to live,” you said, trying desperately to find some words in your brain to comfort him. Any words. “Because Batman doesn’t die, okay? Not until the story’s over.”

“I’ve been told I’m more of a Robin,” he mumbled, looking away from you again. “Besides I don’t think this story is ever ending. Not until we’re all dead.” 

“Well, until it does, we’re in this together. You and me,” you said, leaning closer to put your other hand on the back of his neck. He looked up at you again, less blunt and more broken. “No matter what.” 

“No matter what,” Stiles repeated, words sounding both slightly more and less sure than before. He swallowed and took a breath. “You know I love you, right? I know you’re not supposed to say that until you go on an actual date but it’s true and I almost died without saying it so. I love you.” 

The question was such a one-eighty from you were talking about before that you had to make a conscious effort not to look surprised at the words that tumbled out of his mouth. “I love you, too, Stiles,” you said with a smile. “And you’re not going anywhere until we go on that date.” 

He laughed lifted his hand to the side of your cheek, pulling you into a kiss. “Thanks,” he said. “I was kind of going crazy there for a second before you got there.” 

“My mom can do that to a person,” you said, nodding slowly as Stiles moved a little closer to you. “She’s sure you’re okay?” 

“They wanna do another CT scan but she’s pretty sure. Just gotta stay awake until the concussion fades. Shouldn’t be too hard, I’ve got like a decade’s worth of practice thanks to the insomnia,” Stiles said. 

“I’ll stay with you until you get released,” you said gently, trying to bring him out of those memories you could see playing behind his eyes. 

“Thanks,” he said quietly. 

You know he meant for a lot more than just staying with him. You squeezed his hand. “Vending machine food and Netflix on my phone?” 

“Like there’s anything else I’d rather do.”

Part 28

#stiles stilinski #stiles stilinksi imagine #stiles stilinksi x reader #stiles slow burn #so close #mccall!reader #teen wolf #teen wolf au #teen wolf rewrite

[starcourtscream]

having followed you on michael & seen your writing i can honestly say anyone who's judging based on aesthetic ( which yours is awesome btw ) is really missing out. you took lydia out of that a show & rpc that didn't give a crap about her & gave her a new life. that takes a lot of effort & it is great to see. you're a delight to see on the dash & interact with so people are missing out on some a+ talent

oh   my   goodness,   this   was   just   the   sweetest   thing   &   a   love   letter   to   my   soul   <3   your   kindness   honestly   means   so   much   to   me,   i’m   really   glad   that   you   like   my   banshee   babe   as   much   as   i   do,   and   i’m   so   glad   that   i   found   you   here   because   i   love   your   positivity,   portrayal   and   what   we’ve   written   so   far.   thank   you   for   making   my   day   &   being   such   an   amazing   person   ♡   all   my   love   !

#♡ 𝒇𝒖𝒈𝒖𝒆 𝒔𝒕𝒂𝒕𝒆 — ( out of screams ) #♡ save #ifacedeath

[punkscowardschampions]

Jac & Savannah

Jac: [Before the parties would have started, aka the getting ready hours] Jac: What's the vibe in University Hall tonight then? Savannah: [a selfie of lowkey everyone getting ready together cos it's all girls] Jac: 👍 Looks like carnage Jac: don't lose your favourite 💄 Savannah: my ears hurt & I can't stop saying Americanisms Jac: 😂 Jac: Glad I'm not seeing you tonight Jac: almost Savannah: will you still love me tomorrow though? Jac: Even if you start saying like, totally and OH MY GOD at the beginning and end of all your sentences Savannah: I already do say OH MY GOD a lot Savannah: it's not very far to fall 😔 Jac: Fallen 👼🏾 Jac: as you missed out on Sinners Savannah: 😢 I'm sure Savannah: except not at all because I had a much better time with my 👼🏻 Jac: If the stories I've seen are anything to go by Jac: missed nothing but potential 💀💀 Jac: Sports people go so hard Savannah: I know Savannah: it's a definite no thank you from me, in like, every possible way Savannah: even if every 🤴🏻🤴🏼🤴🏽🤴🏾🤴🏿 here was there Jac: we're off 🏀⚽🏉🏑🥍🏏 boys for good Savannah: I swear to god, hit me with a 🏑or 🏏 if I consider it however briefly & however intoxicated Jac: make a pact with some OTT American girl tonight Jac: she'll banshee screech and keep 'em well away 'til I can Savannah: I'll just picture my dad's disapproving face Savannah: wait no, actually that would only spur me on Jac: Some of those girls HAVE to be cool Jac: not as cool as me, obviously Jac: but you should have fun with them 🚫 boys allowed Savannah: I don't know what to wear & it's upsetting me greatly Savannah: none of these girls understand that telling me I look amazing in anything/everything hanging up is NOT what I need to hear Savannah: obviously I do, that's why I purchased & packed it Jac: They aren't lying but they aren't being helpful Jac: send me the options Jac: you wanna get the mood right Savannah: can't we just get ready together? I PROMISE I'll shut my door on you as soon as we're done Jac: I don't know if my ❤ can handle that, babe Savannah: okay, I'll shut the door on you at the last possible second Jac: You know exactly how hard I find it saying no to you, don't you? Savannah: but if you want to say no, you can Savannah: I just know that you don't want to Jac: Give me a sec Jac: I'll convince it's the fashion emergency it is Savannah: 😊 Savannah: the real fashion emergency is that nobody is allowed to touch your hair but me Jac: The girl across from me does have full intentions to straighten it so Jac: wish me 🍀 Savannah: 😠 Savannah: she better step back Savannah: what protection is she intending to use? I think not Jac: You're the cutest ever Savannah: You have perfect natural texture, can she not see that? Jac: She must not see me how you do Jac: but I'm okay with that Savannah: Well, I've got my eye on her now Savannah: if Catholic school taught me anything it's that 🙏🏾 doesn't work so I won't be wishing you luck, I'll be taking hair styling action Jac: I thought you were going to say something about it teaching you how to fuck up other girls Jac: but you're much too ladylike and 👼🏾 for that Savannah: Oh honey, I knew how to do that before I got there Jac: Very true Jac: I remember Jac: we were kind of a bit terrible, weren't we? Savannah: I remember us being young & bored Savannah: so maybe we did some terrible things Savannah: but we're trying to do & be better now Jac: Works for me Jac: though I was considerably less bored when you were there Savannah: me too, of course Savannah: & maybe I was still doing terrible things at 18, which is less young, but I was also in Sligo so I feel like allowances have to be made Jac: Boredom increased as well as age Jac: it's allowed Savannah: heartbreak increased too Savannah: I can't be held responsible for what I do when I miss you that much Jac: It's too soon to make the 'and who' joke about your ex but it's something young and bored me would say so, feels right to honour past us by mentioning it Savannah: 😄 Savannah: he honourably gave me all summer to get over him, it's fine Jac: You were with him the whole two years, yeah? Savannah: yes Jac: thought so Jac: I could never stand anyone longer than a few weeks Savannah: I'm not sure I could honestly stand him longer than that Jac: Is it a security thing? Jac: keeping him around, despite that Savannah: If I was a lecture topic that would be one of the bullet points undeniably Jac: 'Course, sorry Jac: it's all the ❤ talk going on Jac: they'll be over it once this week is Savannah: I didn't mean it like that, I mean that like I wish I could pinpoint the exact reason Savannah: but there isn't just one, I guess Jac: It's cool, I also didn't mean to be a downer so we don't need to bulletpoint or pinpoint either Jac: lectures haven't started yet, just excited for that, obviously 🤓 Jac: you're not easy to commit to paper, to logic and rationale Jac: that's why I like you Savannah: you could never be, I'm so happy whenever I'm with you Savannah: & I'm even happier you're so excited because me too, of course Savannah: I know I'm very illogical & irrational, I'm the happiest that you like me in spite of it Jac: 🥰🥰🥰 Jac: Freshers has, obviously, been better than I had imagined it could be Jac: but that's almost entirely because of you Jac: I wanna get going now, with the actual course, what we're here to do Jac: though I want this time to last forever, so, conflicted but Savannah: I've changed my mind, I think I'm the happiest actually that none of these girls can see me 😳 because of you Savannah: I feel the same way though, about all of it Jac: I promise I won't embarrass you in front of your dormies Jac: even though I like it when you 😳 best of all Savannah: You could literally never do that either Savannah: none of them are anything like you to the point that I feel sad for them Savannah: because you're perfect Jac: You're the most incredible person I've ever met Jac: we're special together Savannah: you're special without me Savannah: but I'm not leaving you ever again Jac: I love you so much Savannah: I love you too Jac: [leaving it a long-ish time for them aka 10 minutes or something] Jac: I am free, and omw Savannah: Thank GOD Savannah: I thought you were going to say you weren't coming Jac: No way Jac: my room is on the top floor, so I kept getting stopped on every level 🙄 Savannah: At least I know that girl wouldn't have been able to straighten your hair in that amount of time Jac: unless she was just gonna do the top layer and then I'd look like a 🌲 Jac: but that did not happen, thank GOD Savannah: Don't even Savannah: I would cry Jac: Me too Jac: not that there's anyone I really wanna impress, also don't want or need the potential nicknames that would come from that non-look Savannah: Baby, I would never let anyone tease you, or you leave her with a non look Savannah: I could & would fix it in spite of my overwhelming sadness Jac: Dry those eyes Jac: only ten minutes away and not looking like a shrub Savannah: 🥰 Jac: This walk takes longer going to see you than it does coming back Savannah: I miss you too Jac: 😳 Savannah: that's also how I'll look when you see me like this Jac: Come on Jac: you're perfect Jac: we just need to find an outfit as equally so for tonight Savannah: It's not the outfit, it's my insane nerves Jac: What are you nervous about? Savannah: This isn't like our psych night, you know, what do I have in common with any of these girls? Potentially nothing Savannah: I'm having catholic school flashbacks Jac: I get you Jac: think of it as less about making friends, and more about making decent neighbours Jac: the people on our course, we'll be seeing the full four years, the people in our dorms, it could just be this year, 'cos we'll all move next Jac: don't put too much pressure on yourself Savannah: I don't wanna do it but I can't be the girl who doesn't get involved, that would actually be crazy Savannah: you're right, I know that you're right Jac: I don't either Jac: if it had to compete with a night with you, no chance Jac: we'll give it a solid hour, and if it's truly awful, then we'll just hole ourselves up in one of our rooms and hide Savannah: okay Jac: but it won't be Jac: everyone will love you Savannah: I don't want everyone to love me, just you Jac: then they can admire you respectfully from afar Savannah: 👸🏽 Jac: I hear the American girls are loaded Jac: I bet they have loads of 🔥 makeup and clothes to borrow Savannah: the skincare would make my auntie 😢 Jac: wonder if there's any princesses Savannah: I'll find out Savannah: maybe not tonight but eventually Jac: you won't run away with her Jac: even if the skincare is beyond 💣 Savannah: I'll run away with the skincare Savannah: to you Jac: ❤ Jac: loml Savannah: ☺️ Savannah: It would be SO typical if the loudest brashest girl in this dorm who I already can't stand was royalty of some kind Jac: I think I saw her on my way out yesterday Jac: you'll have to point her out Savannah: You definitely heard her, I swear she's woke me every morning so far Jac: Ugh Jac: need to think of a way to 😶 her Savannah: I will be stealing her skincare because I'm BEYOND sleep deprived Savannah: What did you do when you had to share with Jude? Jac: military grade headphones Jac: but ignoring her makes her 😠 so it was one of the only joys I had too, like Savannah: Then I won't be able to hear all the secrets you spill in your sleep, she's not taking that possible joy from me Jac: 😨 Jac: ?! Savannah: I remember one of the first times I slept over, we had a full conversation because I asked if you were awake and you answered yes & asked me if I was okay, which was so sweet by the way, & I didn't realise that you were actually still asleep until after I'd told you everything Savannah: that's the only reason I'm hoping for secrets 😄 Savannah: you don't ever tell me anything scandalous, you're just an 👼🏻 who always tries to take care of me Jac: I'm glad my subconscious hasn't totally betrayed me Jac: and that it cares as much about you as conscious me does Savannah: your subconscious loves me too, it's the cutest Jac: ☺ Jac: you're very lovable Savannah: The girl we hate has literally just asked me if I'm talking to my boyfriend 🙄 the love of my life, yes, some ridiculous boy from freshers, not even Jac: 100% she thinks she's found a 🤴 and he's a total 🐸 who'll spend the rest of the year ghosting her Savannah: 😄 SO true Jac: Some of the lads on our course are nice and everything Jac: but they all seem like 👶 somehow Savannah: I could not agree more & I've done my time babysitting Jac: Seriously Jac: we've got enough to focus on without mothering some poor homesick boys, no thanks Savannah: Of course she's doing art history, it's clear she intends to focus on cliches Jac: Oh my God Jac: I bet she dresses like a mini Middleton Jac: bless her ❤ Savannah: I won't be borrowing her 💄👚👠👒 Jac: 🤭 Definitely not Jac: Meghan is prettier and much more stylish Savannah: I love her Savannah: no offence but I would have to run away with her if she were here Jac: 😏 I understand Jac: I'll control my 💔 Savannah: not that I could bear to break up her & Harry & their beautiful family unit, however hypothetically Jac: they're adorable Jac: and you don't need to steal anyone else's 🤴 or 👸 Savannah: I really don't Jac: no one wants to be that evil queen stereotype Savannah: that's a reputation that would follow you Jac: came here to escape all of mine, not acquire new ones Jac: new 👎 ones Jac: 👍 ones are welcomed, obviously Savannah: I'll resist the urge to make the obvious unfavourable comparison between an evil queen & my dad's new girlfriend in order to do the same Jac: Does she come as a package deal with ugly stepsisters or are they not that serious yet? Savannah: I don't think he's willing to be that serious Jac: at least you don't have to be either then Savannah: I'm not there, he can't control anything I do anymore Savannah: but he needs to be fair to Sienna Jac: What does she think about it all? Savannah: She says she's happy he's moving on too, because I was leaving & mum's getting better Savannah: like we're in a fairy tale Jac: That's obviously just what she wishes and hopes is true Jac: even if it's not totally, yet Jac: but it's not, not true, right? Jac: Your mum is doing better than she was, yeah Savannah: but we both know better than rock bottom isn't recovered Savannah: I don't want her getting her hopes up too high Jac: Absolutely Jac: that's tough, all you can do is talk to her and tell her that Jac: even if she's not listening, she will be, you know, it'll sink in regardless Savannah: She's BEYOND sick of the sound of my voice, I'm not giving up though Jac: you're such a good sister ❤ Savannah: because I only have one, god knows how you cope Jac: Poorly, I'm sure Savannah: no way! Savannah: you're an incredible sister & best friend Jac: I'm not but Jac: it's complicated Jac: and not important right now Jac: [show up for this outfit emergency sure] Savannah: [we all know how happy she is to see her and how extra she'd be about it as standard so] Jac: [enjoy your moment you're not meant to be having ladies] Savannah: [casually ignoring all the peeps that are everywhere because you've got your bae now] Jac: [we know the vibes, we out here being gay] Savannah: [and drinking 🥂🍾 cos we extra] Jac: [we loving life 'cos we're together we're these bitches but you will be separating ladies] Savannah: [get all your touchy feely flirting in now gal cos yeah she has to leave] Jac: [at least you have the thinly-veiled excuse of needing to dress her] Savannah: [take all the thinly veiled excuses while you can cos we can't avoid the convo forever ladies] Jac: [or can you lmao] Savannah: [lives together for the next decade, gets married and has babies, still hasn't had the convo lol] Jac: [truly, okay, so you gotta go girl, we know what this would've been like, cue dramatic pining] Savannah: [sends her a selfie like 🥺 as soon as she's left basically with the flimsy excuse of the girl they hate being there in the background] Jac: ugh, isn't there some art for her to go appreciate Jac: besides you Savannah: she can appreciate my 😳 if you keep complimenting me like that Jac: you look amazing Jac: everyone is gonna be DYING to talk to you Savannah: thanks to you I do Jac: like you said, you look good in all your clothes, obvs, it was just picking the one for tonight Savannah: but whatever the outfit choice, I'd still be a nervous wreck if you hadn't come over to make me feel better Savannah: you make me feel amazing, that's why I now look it Jac: You return the favour tenfold, trust me Jac: whatever dress I throw on is not even half of it Savannah: 🥰 but I do still want to see what dress you have thrown on Jac: Of course Jac: 🤞 my room hasn't been turned into designated pre-party area or something Savannah: I can remember perfectly well how intimidating you can be if you need to, but I'll try not to as my 😳 didn't subside that long ago & it's honestly so hot all the things that you're capable of Jac: I'm not okay with you being intimidated by me Jac: you're as capable and hot, that's why we're here together Savannah: You don't have to worry because I'm not, I know how kind & sensitive you are too, especially when we are together Savannah: it's one rule for me & another for all the stupid boys we're surrounded by, in my case literally right now, seemingly out of nowhere Jac: Eurgh Jac: at least they're not constantly around your dorm Jac: though most of them have been okay, they are some really annoying ones in JB Savannah: 🙌🏾 🙏🏾 I'm not actually going to announce to my dad that he made one good decision, but between you & me 🙌🏾 🙏🏾 Savannah: consider this your sanctuary whenever you need it, baby girl Jac: He made it for the wrong reasons so he doesn't deserve the round of applause but Jac: ❤ Jac: next year we can get somewhere amazing, and only have over the people we want Savannah: at this point that's literally just Maddie 😄 Jac: Devin is nice, even though she's American Savannah: I don't hold it against Meghan so I'll extend her the same courtesy, I guess Jac: I'd say Nat but I don't know if you'd want her in your house, you know 😏 Savannah: like I wouldn't want her their specifically or she's not house trained in general? Jac: [sends her the butch girl's sinners night socials like see for yourself] Savannah: oh Jac: 😂 Savannah: okay, well I did ask Jac: Yeah Jac: she like, likes me Savannah: of course she does, you're perfect Savannah: she'd have bad taste if she didn't Jac: you knew? Savannah: her aesthetic isn't exactly subtle Jac: That's true Jac: she's alright though, if you get past that Jac: aside from the hitting on you every five seconds thing Savannah: She didn't try & hit on me 😢 Savannah: I knew the ✨ were too much! Jac: Maybe your aesthetic is the opposite of subtle too? Jac: you'd be far more 😢 if Maddie hadn't Savannah: Maddie didn't, she was all over that boy whose name I didn't catch Jac: Awh, baby Savannah: 🥺 Jac: I'll flirt with you, if you're feeling leftout Savannah: you don't like her more than me, do you? Jac: in what world is that even possible Savannah: it's freshers, we're about as far removed from the real world as it's possible to be Jac: I don't like her Jac: you're my best friend ever Savannah: it's okay if you do, but you can't like her more than me Jac: Never Savannah: experimentation is what university is for, everyone knows that, so it's fine Jac: Yeah, it's fine is it? Savannah: of course Savannah: you can like whoever you want Jac: She's not my type so Savannah: Devin then Jac: You're cool with that Jac: like, that's what you want? Savannah: for you to be happy is all I've ever wanted Savannah: why wouldn't I be cool with whoever you date, unless they're horrifically unsuitable,  criteria which we can't impose on her simply for being American Jac: Okay Jac: 'course Jac: I'm back, I'll let you party in peace Savannah: you have to show me your outfit first Jac: I'm just gonna chill in what I had on, who cares right Jac: we aren't going anywhere Savannah: I obviously care but sure, you do look beautiful as you are Jac: You know what I mean Jac: no entry requirements Savannah: except 🍾🥂 Jac: so much Jac: the headaches aren't fun Savannah: but everything up to that point always is Savannah: it's going to be so strange not having you here later Jac: I know Jac: we should probably get used to it Savannah: No Savannah: I've just gotten used to having you back Jac: I'm not going anywhere Jac: but you need the legroom, you said Savannah: that's not how you made it sound a literal second ago & you can't leave me, I need you Jac: We'll only share a bed 'til you get a boyfriend Savannah: I'm not getting a boyfriend Savannah: I distinctly recall telling you, I like being single Jac: For now Savannah: Yes, because we're talking about right now Jac: We don't need to talk about this at all Savannah: not if you don't want to Jac: we should be having fun Savannah: stop it Jac: Stop what? Savannah: you've been trying to end this conversation since you got back Jac: Only for you Savannah: that's not true Jac: not just for that Jac: but we should be, you think so too Jac: experimenting, whatever else uni is good for Savannah: I think you should do whatever will make you the happiest Jac: I know, I know Savannah: so okay, if the fun you believe we're meant to be having tonight doesn't include me, I'll talk to you when you've had it, I guess Savannah: I don't want to hold you back or anything Jac: That's not what I mean Savannah: Well, what do you mean? Jac: I don't know Jac: and I don't know what would make me happiest Jac: can that be okay too Savannah: you don't have to have answers for everything all the time, especially not just in order to give to me when I'm being demanding about it Jac: It's fine Savannah: it doesn't have to be, you're allowed to be annoyed at me, even in our honeymoon period Jac: I'm not annoyed at you Savannah: you know what I mean, all your emotions are valid Jac: So are yours Jac: you've been clear what yours are, I haven't Jac: I'm angry at myself, not you Savannah: I don't want that Jac: It's not your fault Savannah: it feels like it is Jac: It really isn't Jac: I'm sorry Savannah: how can I make you feel better? Jac: I'll be fine Savannah: don't say that, let me fix it Jac: You can't change how you feel, and I don't expect you to Savannah: I love you, nothing is ever going to change that Savannah: that's how I feel, you know that Jac: I do know what I want Jac: and I'm not experimenting Jac: alright Jac: that changes everything Savannah: I meant with different people, that's all Savannah: you've said yourself that after a few weeks you lose interest Jac: I've not lost interest in you in two years Savannah: you haven't seen me in two years Jac: Like seeing you is going to make it go away? Savannah: if I can't live up to your romanticised view of me, then yes Jac: I know who you are Savannah: I don't think I really know who I am though Savannah: not after everything Jac: I think that's normal Jac: and I like whoever you are Savannah: if you can throw a 'for now' at me, I can too Jac: That would be convenient Jac: but it never happened before, so I don't see that it will Savannah: this has never happened to me before & yet you still believe I'll choose some boy over you Jac: I've not either Jac: I'm just saying how it was before Savannah: well that isn't a fair comparison Jac: Isn't it? Savannah: No Savannah: I didn't want you to kiss me before but it's all I want now Jac: that's what I want too Savannah: did you get the same message I did about the second year psych house party? Savannah: we could go Jac: Should we? Savannah: we want to join the pysch society, right? At least some of those 2nd years will be part of it Savannah: it's more productive than awkward small talk with these girls in my dorm Savannah: & most importantly, I'll get to see you again, so yes Savannah: I think we should Jac: You're right Jac: we can make these connections any time, this is a too good an opportunity to expand our horizons Savannah: exactly Savannah: though by the time I've walked over to you in these heels you'll have had time to make a million connections within that dorm too Savannah: 😄 Jac: You need to invest in a pair of flats for your bag, seriously Savannah: I've done my time wearing flats & I got rid of that urge, coincidentally, once my insecure boyfriend dumped me Savannah: I need to drink less 🍾🥂 potentially Jac: Okay 😏 but be careful Savannah: You're adorable Jac: I'd rather you didn't fall into the sea, or a golf hole, that's all Savannah: I promise to look where I'm going since you aren't here to look at Jac: Not much to look at currently Jac: I better get changed after-all Savannah: that's not even close to true Savannah: you're beautiful & interesting irrespective of what you're wearing Jac: Now you're being shameless Savannah: I would NEVER Jac: 😂 Savannah: if you make me laugh there's every increased chance I will fall into a ⛳️ Jac: 🤐 Jac: You're shameless in a good way Savannah: Then you won't mind me asking a shameless question, do you think she's going to be there? Jac: Who? Savannah: Natalie, of course Jac: Oh, I dunno Jac: if she knows some older psych kids already, could see it, but otherwise, doubt it Savannah: Hmm Jac: What's hmm? Savannah: I'm just thinking maybe I need to run into her if she's going to be flirting with you whenever you do Jac: So she can flirt with you too Savannah: So she'll stop doing it, I'm not that shameless, thank you Jac: How are you gonna get her to do that? Savannah: I'm sure she will respect that I saw you first Jac: You're so Savannah: it's like beyond terrifying when you don't finish a sentence Jac: it's only 'cos I'm gonna say something so nice it'll scare us both Savannah: I could never be scared of a compliment Jac: Just me, then, make it worse 😋 Savannah: Baby, you don't need to be scared either Jac: But I want you so bad it is Savannah: you aren't going to lose me so it doesn't have to be Jac: I'll try Jac: to believe that, to not be scared Savannah: I'll be here to help you, because nobody can separate us this time except us & that's not something I'm ever going to let happen Jac: Good, as long as that keeps being what we both want, then there's nothing we can't solve Savannah: I believe that Savannah: [probably show up so you can be extra in person gal starting with your 😍 over whatever she's wearing now] Jac: [when you're definitely going in for the kiss right away no pretense] Savannah: [we all know she's about it] Jac: [thank god lmao] Savannah: [don't need a repeat of that runaways moment] Jac: [truly, casually try to calm down with 🍾🥂 now 'cos nearly died] Savannah: [when you're lowkey so into each other that you forget you've got somewhere else to be going] Jac: [already bailed on one idea here ladies] Savannah: [makes me lol like how long did you last at your dorm parties, no time at all] Jac: [literal, and you were just on your phones nearly having an argument so] Savannah: [not that I blame you cos everyone I shared with were dicks and you are only there for the first year which will fly by but the point ladies] Jac: [my poor boo, but we know you ain't making bffs so it matters not] Savannah: [god bless you two because it will be a miracle if you make it to this party with how highkey you are rn] Jac: [how you've only kissed is amiracle] Savannah: [I have the hilarious mental image of them both fixing their makeup and hair like okay we can go & then making out again so they have to redo it and so on for infinity lol] Jac: [rinse and repeat, too real] Savannah: [like what are you putting on and taking off too, very we ain't even gonna make it to this club, Beyonce approves] Jac: [bop and a lifestyle] Savannah: [Savannah already has the biggest lips ever they would be obscene after kissing forever, what a visual] Jac: [someone said she should be cast as Sally from tnbc and I can't unsee lol] Jac: [corpse bride fool] Savannah: [should we let them hook up tonight or wait until tomorrow/ the end of freshers?] Jac: [I say tonight purely so they can be ultra gay at the festival moment tomorrow lol] Savannah: [I agree that's a great idea] Jac: [and we almost had a real convo so it's been amped up here] Savannah: [I know I'm evil but I think their first time should be like a bit awkward because we always let everyone have a swag one and like you can get there ladies but it fits with who Savannah is/ how easily she'd freak out if everything wasn't perfect after all this build up and it works once again for them because their communication and trust levels that neither of them would be like okay well that's NEVER happening again ever] Jac: [that makes sense to me too] Savannah: [like if Sav was freaking out/crying cos she's like this is not going according to plan Jac isn't gonna let her leave, as she said they can work anything out and would once she's calmed down because gal you're clearly into each other, you can do this, just chill] Jac: [we know you can calm her down and as long as it's not like 'I don't wanna do this anymore' she's not gonna freak too so] Savannah: [and we all know when it's swag it'll be swag because she's 100% that straight girl that was like oh yeah it takes me a really long time to have an orgasm which I know is a real thing like Rosie always saying she takes like 45 minutes but in her case it's definitely her boyfriends not doing the most because that was such a thing when I was in that straight girl tumblr tag lol] Jac: [it just makes sense, like we wouldn't know what to do with a penis 'cos we don't have one, you need to learn whereas if you know yourself if you know what I'm saying, gay sex is easier to be good at] Savannah: [she just always puts too much pressure on herself to be A+ at everything immediately so it made sense to me that she would have a me style freak out because she hasn't done loads of nerdy prep for this whereas Jac can just swag it because she's not doing that she's just in her emotions] Jac: [god bless, we just freaking out that she's gonna flip 180 at any minute but not gonna let that stop her obvs] Savannah: [it's fair because we'd all be thinking it] Jac: [hence tryna say it but being crap at doing so] Savannah: [go to the party first though ladies because if this hook up drama happened first you'd never make it] Jac: [yes, go get adopted by some psychology students] Savannah: [love that for you both tbh] Jac: [you'd be thrilled, nerds] Savannah: [even though you're both really distracted by how much you wanna hook up, focus nerds] Jac: [whatever gets you going i guess] Savannah: [is there anything we really want to happen at this party or should we just keep it chill, by which I mean sexual tension off the charts but a good time had by all] Jac: [Hmm, Natalie should not be there 'cos too cool for school but even if she was, bye, do you have any ideas?] Savannah: [I agree they should be the only psychology freshers there because nerds and defs getting adopted] Jac: [agreed, be those hoes we know you are] Savannah: [you've been extra in terms of nearly having a row so of course you gotta be extra the other way and just keep all those makeouts going, JJ would be proud] Jac: [people would be about it like the bitch on the beach 'cos straights are always like OMG YOU'RE SO SWEET AHH so you can lap that up shamelessly like oh yes we are haha] Savannah: [progress is being made tonight honey cos we did that little display for the butch on psych night but you've not actually kissed anywhere but your dorms] Jac: [proud of you gals] Savannah: [considering the awkwardness of a 2 year absence that we started this uni experience with, you're doing amazing gals] Jac: [truly, such a weird situation who knows what any of us would do] Savannah: [if it was me I'd have to just pretend the other person didn't exist for the rest of my life and suffer] Jac: [not I, I would get you] Savannah: [I really hope there's no gross posh boys at this party cos you don't need that any of y'all sweet nerds] Jac: [undoubtedly there is but pretend to be progressive and just silently oggle ty] Savannah: [tah very much lads] Jac: [gotta pretend to be cool even though they are paying you NO attention] Savannah: [nor will they, we're leaving the straightness behind forever] Jac: [that tickled me] Jac: [maybe there was a student teacher there or a real one but not in a creepy way, bit weird but uni is, so maybe they cornered 'em and now have separate meetings with 'em to like, get ahead, idk, nerd shit, so one of them has gone first and then it's like morning, afternoon, time to start getting ready so they've gone back to own dorms] Savannah: [yeah there's loads of potential for what that could be because we know they'd wanna be involved in everything] Jac: [literal like maybe there was two important peeps and they're tackling one each, it don't matter, you will have to part some times and that's all we need] Savannah: [yeah we know what the vibe we're trying to get at here] Savannah: I can't find my [insert obscure makeup routine item/accessory that she simply must have to get ready like okay]! Savannah: today is a trial already honestly Jac: Has Mega not Markle been snooping through your stuff? Jac: I think I saw it in your brown satchel last though, really Jac: What's up, boo? Savannah: I hope not & I instead hope that you're right as you usually are Savannah: maybe I have champagne brain or something Jac: I've not heard of it being a Thing™ but I still lock my door even when I'm just going to the kitchen 🤷 Jac: we did drink a LOT more at the party Jac: productive though, like we hoped Savannah: as long as I didn't make a TOTAL fool of myself, I'm counting it as a definite success Jac: Not even Jac: you were perfect Jac: we weren't that level of drunk or we would have KNOWN not to approach the editor of the magazine Savannah: I don't know how you always manage to put me instantly at ease, except of course that you're actually the level of perfect that you're trying to portray me as right now Jac: You deserve to be Jac: no one else works as hard as you Jac: you need to take the time and headspace to enjoy the spoils of Savannah: literally god knows when but I'll try Jac: tonight will be a good place to start Jac: the expectation is nothing but to dance and have fun Jac: in something as colourful and ✨ as possible Savannah: 😊 Savannah: I do understand why the majority of freshers are claiming it to be the highlight before its even happened Jac: it'll be mine to see how beautiful you'll be Savannah: you're this smooth, this early, after that much 🍾🥂? Okay then, wow Savannah: the pressure is back on Jac: Not even Jac: you make me feel the cheesiest Savannah: you're not though, trust me, because my ex was & you're so far from Savannah: his everything basically Jac: I'll take it as the compliment it undoubtedly is Jac: have you found your [thing]? Jac: I can go into town and check if they have some, though the chances are slim Savannah: you have to because I can only be so complimentary & remain productive when I already miss you this much Savannah: yes! You were so right about where it was, of course Jac: I miss you more Savannah: that's impossible & I refuse to acknowledge it Jac: you'll have to when I show you later Savannah: oh Savannah: well now I'm unfocused Jac: Are we mad about that or no? Savannah: frustration does come into it, anger doesn't Jac: You're so cute Jac: tell me how I can help Savannah: you are helping Jac: more Jac: I wanna help more Savannah: No, because I can't demand that you come here any time I want you to Savannah: even if I really want you to Jac: it'd be hot if you did Jac: demand away Jac: though I really do need to go into town, stock up on some essentials Savannah: I'm trying to be 👼🏾 Savannah: but you & the lord are testing me Jac: You're very good Jac: that's the problem Jac: I never want to leave you, or do anything but be with you, properly Savannah: 🥺🥺🥺 Savannah: you're going to make me cry or run towards you or something else as dramatic Jac: I can handle dramatic Jac: prefer the term passionate though, suits you better Savannah: you think you can Jac: prove me wrong Jac: try to, anyway Savannah: stop trying to tempt me, you'll never get to town if I do Jac: Okay, okay 👼🏻 Jac: just making sure you're the most excited you can be to see me later Savannah: you're making sure I need to see you now Jac: Maybe Savannah: it's not a maybe for me Jac: Promise? Savannah: yes Jac: 🥰 Jac: I don't know what to say but that Savannah: you don't have to say anything, just come & see me before you go Jac: alright Jac: hold on Savannah: 😊 Jac: I know you look much cuter than that emoji rn Savannah: [a selfie because of course she looks effortlessly 💣] Jac: oh Savannah: Now you know exactly how I look Jac: now I need to 🏃 Savannah: I wouldn't be mad about it Savannah: I am waiting for you, after all Jac: You reckon you've been patient enough, yeah? Savannah: don't you think so? Jac: You've not wanted to kiss me for as long as I've wanted to kiss you Savannah: I know Jac: so, you can wait a little bit and I won't feel too bad Jac: even if you 🥺 Savannah: I don't want you to feel bad, you know that's the opposite of how I want to make you feel Savannah: for a really long time Savannah: but if you want to make me wait instead, you can Savannah: I won't 🥺 Jac: Savannah Savannah: ? Jac: Do you know how good it feels to hear you say all that Savannah: I may not have waited as long as you but I still feel good right now knowing that this is something that's finally happening Jac: I want you to feel good Jac: and happy and safe and Jac: only good things Savannah: that's all I want for both of us Jac: you make me happy Savannah: I hope so because you did & do make me the happiest I've ever been Jac: then it's settled Savannah: that you're running here? Okay Jac: That, Jac: and the fact we're going to keep doing everything we can to make each other happy Savannah: 😄 Of course Savannah: I knew that's what you actually meant but it'll make me really happy to have you here Jac: I'm looking forward to feeling that Savannah: you won't have to leave too soon, will you? Jac: Nah Jac: we've got time Jac: you're my priority right now Savannah: that's a relief because you're everything to me Savannah: & if I have to make time by following you into town & every shop, then I will Savannah: but you might want more privacy than that Jac: there's no maybe that I want to be alone with you right now Savannah: that's another relief, I don't think I'm ready to be that shameless Savannah: it's a very small town Jac: 😂 Jac: you never have to be that shameless Jac: I only wanna do what makes you happy Savannah: please remind me of that when lectures start & you're the only thing I can think about because I feel like the urge to be shameless won't be as easy to ignore then Jac: I'll help you study if you help me Jac: you were always distractingly beautiful, we were still the perfect team Savannah: so were you, I know you think I wasn't looking, that I didn't want to, but that just isn't true Jac: I know there were Jac: moments Jac: it was just not knowing if they were the same moments for you as they were for me Savannah: as soon I met you I felt like I didn't know anything any more, not to be the level of sure that I thought I needed everything to stay at for my life to make sense Savannah: I was a mess, there's a high probability that I still am Jac: I didn't mean to do that to you Jac: I know you aren't asking for an apology for it or anything Jac: it was the same for me in that I'd not felt that before either Savannah: you didn't do anything, it was my own feelings that turned my world upside down & my own fault that instead of trying to actually deal with it, I decided to fill my world with loads of other things, as if that would force it into being the right way up again Savannah: of course it didn't Jac: I'm not about to blame mine on you either Jac: though you are the only person, girl or boy, that I've been this attracted to, I only mean that as a positive Jac: it was a mess of a time, and there's lots of it I do regret and have learned from, and continue to learn from, hopefully, but I don't regret it all, and don't think we should Savannah: I could never take you saying or feeling that for me as a negative Savannah: & yes, I agree, though I don't think I've done nearly as much learning or growing in these two years as I should've Savannah: which is why I don't want to be a distraction for you, despite the fact that this situation couldn't be more different than anything that happened in Sligo Jac: Me either, I didn't turn into or saint myself in your absence Jac: in certain ways, I got worse, honestly Jac: ways I still haven't dealt with Jac: but you could never be a distraction in the way those things and people were for you Jac: you make me better Jac: I know there were instances where we made each other worse Jac: but is it giving us too much credit to say that was more, the upsidedownness of how our feelings made our lives feel, rather than us being together? Savannah: I guess that the only way we can truly take that credit by earning it now, in being together & doing better Savannah: because our lives are still going to be upside down here, sometimes & maybe even often to start with Jac: I can acknowledge that my life isn't upside down because of this, us, you Jac: not dealing with it, facing it, that was a big part Jac: not all of it, our lives are big and complex and messy, regardless Jac: but denying who I am, what I want, well, it didn't even feel like my life Savannah: if only the guilt I feel began & ended with you, I know I can do things to heal that Savannah: this relationship is the most well functioning one I have, including the relationship I have with myself Jac: I really know what you mean Jac: I've barely communicated with my family since Jac: and even before that, I was never great at it Savannah: I literally have no room to judge, you know the state that my family has been and is currently in Jac: and there are relationships, guilt, I personally feel I'll never be able to erase Jac: it's fitting punishment but still Jac: the only comfort is that Isabelle is doing fine despite it all, despite what I feel I had a massive hand in, even if I didn't do it myself, or know it would be done Savannah: ^^ Savannah: & there's a degree of comfort in all our siblings clearly coping better than us Savannah: not that it would be very difficult to raise the bar there Jac: Seriously Jac: I mean, I try to take comfort in it Jac: not just feel jealous and bitter, not a good look, I know Savannah: me too, even though it also makes my heart sink how my sister viewed me & how far from the truth it was Jac: You didn't just put up the front for yourself, you were protecting her from knowing how you really felt, when there was already so much for her to cope with, even if she did well Jac: which is far better than what I did, not that it's a competition or I'm trying to tell you you did perfectly Savannah: but now that's a dialogue I can never open back up because I was lying Savannah: she can never know that when it's exactly what both our parents did Jac: Never say never Jac: beyond that aphorism, I doubt you know everything about her thoughts and feelings, it's normal to have that barrier at the time Jac: things are easier to discuss after the fact, when you've both got a degree more clarity, removed from the !!! of things when they're happening Jac: as much of a hypocrite as that makes me to say, because I've started no such conversations myself Jac: but Sienna adores you as much as you her, and not because she thinks you're perfect, but because you're her big sister Savannah: we definitely both know that better than most, there's reasons why I deleted every conversation I began with you then & I'm not censoring myself now Savannah: don't worry, I'm not going to insist you have a heart to heart with Jude or any of the others Jac: ^^ Jac: The amount of times I went to say, everything I could possibly say, pour my heart out to you, that that felt like exactly the right thing to do Jac: then had to go distract myself with whatever wrong thing Jac: I have talked to Jesse, a bit Jac: more recently, too Savannah: I'm sorry that the timing was all wrong for me to be able to listen to or express any of it, but I'm ready now, I promise Savannah: for everything you could possibly say Savannah: including that you've told your brother about me Jac: No, it wouldn't have been right to do it that way Jac: like it wasn't right to just, kiss you Jac: it felt it but we weren't ready for any of it, it might seem like I was, just because I knew how I felt about you, but so much else was confused and yeah, it wasn't, I wasn't Jac: you aren't mad? Jac: obviously they've all seen you're here too now Jac: but I've not gone into any kind of meaningful detail with the rest of them Savannah: It's okay, I'm glad you've had someone to talk to Savannah: I know this week has been confusing too, that I must have made it confusing for you Jac: In a good way Jac: obviously, I'm so glad to have you back in my life Jac: I didn't think we'd ever get closure either Jac: and I had more trouble making peace with that than just about anything else Savannah: thank god I didn't go on that gap year Jac: You were thinking about it? Savannah: originally we were going together, Milo & I, so it would've been more of an undertaking to go alone, but I thought you wouldn't want to see me, so Jac: That makes sense Savannah: Putting us in different years was as much distance as I could give you without like uprooting my entire future, it seemed like a good idea Savannah: obviously it therefore stands to reason that my dad said no Jac: Was going to say, surprised your dad agreed to that plan at any point Savannah: he was somewhat distracted by his new girlfriend Jac: Of course Jac: #1 priority 'til you're not Jac: what's Sienna's plan for next year? Savannah: she's struggling to decide which uni she should go to Savannah: maybe she'll take a gap year, that'd be so typical Jac: Yep, Jude and Jameson get away with murder in comparison Savannah: It would unfair even if he was any kind of decent father, but how he believes he can lecture me as things currently are, I have no idea Jac: A lot of people are, not happy to live the mess their life is in, but are happy to be willfully blind to it Jac: it's easier than making changes, especially when you're a part of the problem Savannah: he's called me every day that I've been here, like, we're not bringing this into my new life, thank you Jac: That's too much Jac: designated a day(s) and time and don't answer any other time, he'll have to learn to respect it Savannah: he has literally NO boundaries for someone who shut the door on us & walked away until he was forced to come back in Jac: it's a control thing Jac: but where was his authority when it would have actually benefitted you, re. everything with your mum, why wasn't he laying down the law then? Jac: only when it benefits him and makes him feel better about himself Savannah: exactly, I'm beyond tired of it Savannah: he made those 2 years so much worse than they already would've been Savannah: I'm obviously not going to insist that all the blame for Milo lands squarely on his shoulders but if I had a home that I felt comfortable spending time in, I wouldn't have needed to be at his as often as I was Savannah: which really didn't help me process anything that I should've been Jac: It definitely was a factor Jac: I know how that feels too Jac: not wanting to be home Jac: but not wanting to be out of the house either because that was just as bad in different ways Jac: I see the appeal of having somewhere to be Savannah: I knew you'd understand Savannah: I'm so happy to have you to talk to again Jac: Obviously I don't love that for you, that you had to do that Jac: but I, again, know the feeling Savannah: It's what I've always done, with Ty & you too Savannah: I missed your house the most though, it was my favourite place to land Savannah: even if none of your siblings liked having me there 😄 Jac: Said as if Jude's friends aren't the most annoying people in the world Savannah: there's so many of them Jac: Yeah, she'd invite any old stray home Savannah: that sounds like a caffeine headache to me Savannah: I don't know how she does it Jac: She doesn't do a whole lot of anything else, that's why Savannah: who's she dating? Jac: your guess is as good as mine Savannah: okay, that sounds like an entirely different headache Savannah: at least some things have stayed the same Jac: I wouldn't know, really Jac: it's not like that, me and my siblings Jac: well, it hasn't been Savannah: I'm sorry for how much of that is my fault Savannah: because I hurt you Jac: I'm not going to put all the blame onto your shoulders, either Jac: it isn't Savannah: but I know you & I knew what would happen Savannah: I didn't stop you from shutting down because I wanted everything to stop Savannah: when you kissed me it felt like the world should've, but it didn't Jac: I know Jac: it would've been so much more of a thing for you to go with it, to change what you were, or who you were seen as, at least Savannah: I was so in love with Ty & I wanted it to work so badly but I couldn't do it Savannah: I'd never failed before at something I'd been that determined about Savannah: It sounds so stupid to say at this point Jac: It's not Jac: but you know, I mean, at the risk of making it sound like I thought you were stupid, when it was probably so obvious and you did know Jac: I was trying to get him out the picture Jac: you didn't fail Savannah: if our relationship was strong enough you wouldn't have been able to Savannah: as I said, everything changed when I met you anyway Savannah: he wasn't stupid either Jac: Yeah Jac: as pointless as it is to say how we should've handled it Jac: I want you to know I hold myself accountable for what I clearly shouldn't have done, and you can too Savannah: we all did things that we shouldn't have done Jac: True Savannah: I forgive you and you can forgive yourself too Jac: It's hard, isn't it Jac: not to feel like I was the worst when my intentions are the only ones I can truly know Savannah: yes & I feel it too, all the time Savannah: but I've seen you at what you believe to be your worst & I still love you Jac: I love you too Jac: and forgive you, of course Jac: and anyone else who's forgiveness you need, or you want to be better with, we can work on it together, okay Savannah: okay Savannah: everything happens for a reason, right? I don't want to consider changing it if it means I won't end up here Savannah: painful as things have been & still are Jac: I think so Jac: if I didn't believe in fate before, this would've eradicated any doubt Savannah: tempting as it would be to say that I wish I'd just kissed you back in that hotel room, we might not be here together if I did Savannah: two years is kind of my limit apparently, so far at least 😄 Jac: No pressure, or anything Jac: we have to do at least the four at the same uni so Savannah: okay, you can dump me after that if you insist Jac: It's your turn Jac: and I never would so Savannah: well, I'm never going to leave you Savannah: not again, because technically I already did, which makes it your turn Jac: Okay, looks like we're staying with each other Savannah: if you EVER get here Savannah: I thought you were supposed to be running Jac: You'll have to stop talking, my love 😏 Savannah: you'll have to stop me

[sugarpun-fairy]

SPARK - ALEX SUMMERS X READER

Word count: 1028

Warnings: just a lil bit of angst 

A/N: I’m sorry i’m a sucker for Alex Summers guys but i really needed to do this. Who knows it wont have a second part? i know i still owe you the second part of baby girl and it will happen

soon. 

-x-

“Alex?”  

The familiar voice made the blond lose his words and turn around, looking for the owner of the call.  

“Y/N.” he whispered recognizing the woman across the room.  

*

“Alex, we need to talk.” the girl spoke without looking directly to her boyfriend.  

“What? What’s wrong babe?”

“My parents found out. About you.”  

It was like all color faded from the boy’s face. As if finding out he was a mutant wasn’t bad enough by itself, all of his world was turning upside down because of that. His family, his friend, and now his girlfriend.

“What did they say?” he asked fearful.

“They said that even though you’re a nice guy and everything, they don’t want us together anymore.” she whispered between sobs. “I’m sorry Alex I wish I didn’t have to do what they say...” She wanted to hug him and say that she wouldn’t leave him. She wanted to kiss him and tell him that everything would be fine, but she couldn’t. “I love you Alexander Summers. Please never forget that.”

“I won’t.” he whispered cupping her face with both hands. “I promise I won’t. I love you too Y/N Y/L/N!”  

“I hope one day we’ll meet again and this whole mutant thing won’t stop us from being together.” she sobbed. “I’m sorry Alex...”

*

All of the lights around the room flickered while the oldest Summers crossed the room.  

“Is it really you?” he asked scared of touching her and making her disappear in a pile of dust as in some of his nightmares.  

She smiled knocking her heels excitedly – like he remembered her doing when they were younger – and nodded.  

“Flesh, bone and x-gene.”  

His stoked smile faded.  

“What?”

“You heard her correctly Alex.” Charles said approaching the two. “She’s one of us.”

“Or did you thought that the lights were suddenly going bad because of the sparks between you and me?” she joked pulling him by his shirt.

Alex was still completely shocked and speechless, trying to understand what was happening in front of him.  

“When did you found out? How did your parents react? Did they do anything to you?” he blurted, stopping when she held his hand.  

“Is there a more private place where we can talk?” she asked turning to Charles. He nodded and mentioned for them to follow him.  

The sudden silence on Charles’ cabinet made Alex more and more uncomfortable while she tried to think about how to explain everything.  

“Before I graduated. A week before my senior prom I electrified my hair dryer. My parents found out before my prom, while I was getting ready.” she told twisting a pen between her fingers. “I had a job at the time and had some savings so I was okay when they... kicked me out.”  

“They what?” Alex snapped.  

“It was years ago calm down!” she tried to say. “Anyway, I left home and lived with a friend for a while. She never minded me being a mutant so we were okay.”

“For how long?” he asked already wondering if the story had a bad ending.  

“Until Charles reached me.”  

“What about your sister?” he asked carefully, remembering how the younger sister was the main reason she didn’t leave home earlier.  

“You don’t have to ask what you already know Summers.” she whispered putting down the pen. “She died one year before everything happened.”  

“I’m sorry...”

“I’m sorry for not asking how you’ve been after all this time.” she interrupted him. “And I won’t. You know why.”  

“I do. You don’t want to know.”  

The two stood there in front of each other in silence looking for the lost, long forgotten words. He knew she couldn’t know what happened to him or she would break. She knew he had a hard life. He was glad she had better luck. She hopped he wouldn’t ever find out she was lying.  

“Man's defender, warrior.” she broke the silence all of sudden. “It’s the meaning of your name. Alexander.”  

“I remember you told me this once.”

“And now we’re here on a team to fight and protect humanity.”  

“I want to see your powers. Can you show me?”  

She smiled and nodded.  

“Do not watch closely.” she joked and he stepped backwards. She stretched her hand and fingers and slowly small sparks started to run around them and her hand and arm.  

“Always knew you had a spark inside of you.”  

“Oh my gods Alex you’re still not over the dad jokes?” she complained with a laugh that turned into tears.  

“Are you okay?” he asked worried, running to her and holding her in his arms.  

“Why am I always crying when we’re together?” she questioned holding him close. “I missed you so much.”  

“I missed you too. Every single day. There wasn’t a single one I didn’t think of you.” he whispered kissing her forehead. “But that’s a funny thing. You were crying when I asked you out the first time!”

“And when we first kissed. I’m just a crybaby no matter what!” she laughed.  

“You’re my cry baby.” he corrected her, holding up her chin and kissing her. She smiled before returning the kiss, wrapping her arms around his neck.  

The door busted open and Sean walked in without really caring if he was interrupting something.

“I know you’re kind of my best friend and she’s probably your high school sweetheart, but mate your brother is still downstairs trying to fit it.” the red haired remembered the blond. “Hi I’m Sean.” he added when the girl looked at him holding back a laugh.  

“I’m Y/N. Scott is really here?”

“Yeah he had an incident similar to mine at school.”  

“Let’s go, I wanna see him! I missed that little guy!”

“Hey what about missing this big guy?” Alex whined.  

“If you guys keep up with this, I’m gonna puke.” Sean complained. “You can catch up later. Just don’t abandon your bros Alex.”

“Is it me or Banshee is jealous?” the blond teased earning a growl from the other boy.

“Wait until he knows I have a friend arriving tomorrow.” she dropped casually leaving the room with a charming laugh.  

-x-

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