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#my brain eats plastic is a fun thing to yell in your house
mythrianalpha · 3 years
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You know when you’ve got a dog, and that dog eats plastic, so you’ve gotta pry their jaws apart and take the plastic? But then, you go to shove your whole hand in there and they’re just chewing faster and by the time you succeed, they’ve already swallowed it???
Long story short: my brain is very good at eating plastic, and some of that plastic was important.
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the-fiction-witch · 3 years
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Watts
TV SHOW: THE QUEENS GAMBIT COUPLE: BENNY X READER (KINDA) RATING: SAD + SWEET
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Writers notes: My brain today : Hu? I wonder what’s benny watt’s backstory? who knows... Lets make him one! that's sad and tragic and kinda adorable... lets do this. 
I sat against the harsh plastic chair, my feet against the ice cold stones of the basement floor, the chill coming under the door spreading across the whole apartment, the windows dark rain battering them every so often thunder cracking across the sky, I sat up a little in my chair and moved a piece playing the toughest game I could play, Against myself. I pulled my shirt over me a little more but not wanting to do up another button, it wasn't that cold. I was lost in my own world a while my mind started to wander. 
One of the first things I can recall, it was a bright sunny day, the sky blue, the warmth of mid July in full swing, The tall buildings around all shaken and half broken, all the windows taped up, many of them blacked out, The sweet sounds of the radio playing some nice tunes, I was hopping along the tall fence posts jumping from tall wooden post to tall wooden post down the long garden, trying not to fall. I saw the door to next door open, her hair up in a bun, her dress half torn and repaired, the washing basket on her hip,  she was shocked but then her face softened as she smiled at me 
"Benjamin watts? what are you doing up there?" she laughs 
"Playing" I told her 
"what are you playing?" she asks coming over 
"Frogs"
"Well alright," she laughs putting her basket down by her washing line string, she got her little cloth out her apron pocket giving it a lick and cleaning some dirt off my nose "You be careful Little man"
"I will Mrs Linley" I smiled hopping to the next post 
"why don't you go out and play with the other kiddos?" 
"There not as fun as playing by myself"
"Why don't you go with little Lilly take her to the park for an ice cream"
"Lilly's boring"
"BENNY!" I heard the harsh male voice yell so I quickly jumped down from the fence seeing him stood looming over the backdoor of the house in his usual suit with his cane, his belt done tight with his knife sat there as usual "Dinner" He says so I nodded heading inside sitting at the table where he set down a bowl of gross smelling soup I instantly turned my nose up at it "Eat it. You're lucky I even feed you" He says muttering to himself as he usually did "Ungrateful little bastard, You know I don't have to. I could have sent you to the poor house with the other kids, not out the goodness of my heart I look after you"
"Then why do you Papa?" 
"Because your mother asks it off me." he sighed sitting at the table with his own soup and some bread "We've been over this" He says "I want nothing to do with my daughter, never was my business, and if she wasn't so busy I wouldn't be the one taking care of you, You little bastard" 
"What's a bastard Papa?"
"You are a bastard benny. By definition, Maybe you wouldn't be if your mother kept her legs shut and had some idea who your father was" He sighed "if your mother wasn't so busy, taking care of the soldiers I'd leave you with her," he explained "eat your dinner"
"Yes papa" I sighed "when will mummy be back?"
"When the war is over," he says "your mother as much as we have our differences, she does a good job, and an important job. Nurses are usually good girls, your mother… happens to be an exception, but nurses are good girls, you'll marry a nurse one day"
"Will I?"
"Course you will. You'll get a war at your age Benny, you'll meet a lovely nurse, get married and have your own little kiddos" he says "Watts always have nurses"
"What if I don't wanna be a soldier?" 
"Then you and your mother are dead to me" he says before the sound of the warning erupted across the city, he stood up and grabbed the bag by the door pushing me out the seat I nodded and ran out the house And into the garden as the sun was setting, he slowing followed as he locked the house up, I ran down to the shelter jumping on my little bed, he followed and locked the door up behind him sitting on his own. It grew terrifyingly quiet as for moments the world sat on the edge “Benny, Play” He ordered clicking his fingers pointing to the little chess board he had set up on the table between the beds, I happily smiled going and playing against him. He would often try to trick me but I always beat him “Good game kid” He cracked a smile shaking my hand 
“Can I papa? Can I?” I asked bouncing my on the bed 
“Alright, until the raid’s over” he says taking his hat from the side and sitting it on my head “Again?”
“Again” I smiled excitedly setting the board up again, 
“But not to many, you need to get to bed”
I sat at the table the chess board set, waiting. It was getting so late now I wonder what was happening, Someone had come to the door before we had began our game I didn’t know why, My grandpa just took them to the other room I could heard talking, arguing even if I tried not to listen. 
“Why can’t his father take him?”
“There’s no mention of him anywhere we can’t find him” “Well he has to be somewhere” “Noel. If you don’t keep him. He’ll get swept up with the rest of the kids, There’s hundreds, maybe thousands of them, homeless, lost there families, you know if he goes into the system, he won’t get out till he’s eighteen.”
“I don’t see why I should keep him
“He’s your grandchild” “He’s a bastard! I never much wanted anything to do with my daughter why should I clean up after her mess”
“Because she’s not coming back. Not for him. Not for you. You’re all he has in the world.”
The door opened moments later the woman from the door came over to me touching my hair moving it out of my eyes for me “Hi Benny”
“Hello” I answered not sure what was going on 
“Benny, I need you to answer something for me” she smiled moving to her knee
“Okay” I nodded seeing my grandpa stood leaning on the door to the other room 
“Would you Like to stay here? In this little house with your grandpa? Or would you like me to take you to a nice place with lots of other children… lots of nice children who, Have lost their mommies too” 
I looked to my grandpa and he seemed to be waiting for the answer too, I didn’t know what they wanted from me…
“I would like to stay here with papa” 
“Okay sweetheart” she smiled “Then he stays with you” 
“What if I said… you’d be better off there Benny?” He asks
“I’d still rather stay” 
“Fine. But I hear a word of complaint out your little bastard mouth, one tantrum, one teenage rebellion. You’re going. You choose to stay here with me, and don’t you ever fucking forget it” He warned 
“Yes Papa”
“Go to your room” He ordered and I nodded going out the house and out to the little shelter, our house had only ever had one bedroom and there wasn’t much space for me, even so he would rather I sleep out here said I was safer to always sleep in here, were I couldn’t get hurt, My boards sat along the other bed, my trophies lines along the little wall, I shut the little door and got cosy in the little dark shelter. 
I sat in the old beaten up pick up listening to the radio on low, I was going over the games of the people I was to play against, running through it all in my head. 
“You gonna win?” He asks
“I’m planning on it” “Don’t get cocky.” He warns “worst train in the world cockiness. Gets you into trouble. Don’t write checks with your mouth that your ass can’t cash benny” 
“I know,” 
“I know you know. Doesn't it mean you shouldn’t listen” He says “You're going out after?”
“No, home. Do some work” “You’ve never gonna met a girl at one of these things” “I know,”
“..... If there’s a boy-” “I’m not Gay Papa” I laughed
“Aren’t you? You're fourteen, how do you know?” 
“Because I like girls”
“You’re fourteen. You don’t know what you like. I thought alot like what then I was your age”
“And?”
“And. You shouldn’t set yourself up to fail, I was married when I was not much older then you. Don’t… rush yourself with things is all I’m saying” “Is that why you didn’t wanna be with grandma anymore?”
“Somewhat, there was a lot of things between me and your grandma. Don’t worry about it” He says as he stopped at the little hotel doing the tournament “Hey,” He says stopping me from opening the door “Good luck you little bastard” He laughs putting his hat on my head 
“I thought I don’t get it till I win?” I asked fiddling with it 
“You’ll win. You’re a Watts, Go on you’ll be late” He says 
“Thanks Papa” I smiled 
“Go on run along you little bastard” 
I tried to force it all away, I didn’t want to think about it. I folded the letter up and left it on the table, the cold chill of the apartment starting to get to me. This place was small, dirty, cold, and depressing but… I liked it. It felt like home, all the years of sitting playing chess in bomb shelters because he was too scared to let me come out, I wish I could have seen him again… I wish we hadn’t lost touch, then again he never liked how I went on from there, much less everything else, I had seen him a few times at key moments but he rarely spoke much, or phoned much, he kinda just… backed off. Knowing I had my own life and my own things, I don’t think he minded, but still. I would have liked to have seen him again. 
“Benny?” I heard making me sit up a little seeing y/n stood at the bedroom door dressed for work already in her little blue and white dress, her hair done up in beautiful braids, minimal make up as it would get ruined on her shift anyway “Can you settle him? Else I’ll be late for work” she smiled 
“Course I can” I laughed getting up and taking our little baby from her sitting him on my hip “Hey kiddo” I laughed giving his head a kiss trying to make him settle down. 
“He won’t stop fussing” she laughs 
“Boys do” I shrug 
“Ummm… are all watts boys such fussy little monsters?” she laughs 
“We are assholes” I sighed 
“Umm Have to make sure I have a girl this time then” she smiled tapping her tiny little tummy she wasn’t even a full three months yet, “Are you okay benny?” she asks
“Yeah, I’m fine” I shrug 
“Alright, don’t get wrapped up about it okay,” she smiled giving me a hug “Milks in the fridge, I’ll be home for dinner” she smiled giving me a kiss 
“See you later darling” I told her 
“Love you” she giggled 
“Love you too” I laughed giving her an extra kiss, she smiled back and gave his head a kiss too before she got her bag
“You boys have fun” she laughed as she opened the door and hurried off to work, I smiled taking him sitting in his high chair by the table, he liked watching my play chess even if was only just about a year old. He kept making grabby hands towards the side of the table where my hat sat so I laughed picking it up and sitting it on his head even if it was miles too big for him 
“It’s okay luke. You’ll grow into it” I laughed “But you're not having it properly, till you win. That's the rules, same for you as it was for me. Hey. You’re a watts. And that's the one thing no one can ever take away from you” I told him 
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bitchapalooza · 3 years
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More hetalia highschool AU, 🌟magic team🌟 edition :)
Under the cut bc it is long ❤️
Vladimir is that one kid obsessed with Twilight but only for the vampires; it was his first ever exposure to vampires thanks to his dad thinking Twilight was an appropriate book for a 11 year old. Team Edward going strong for five years, he'd proudly declare like it actually mattered. He tries his best to dress goth at school even though his uniform gets in the way. Fake ear piercings(his parents won't let him pierce them yet), over the top makeup, he's dyed the top half of his shoes black because his parents were concerned about his obsession with black and wouldn't buy him the black tennies he wanted— "mom look, these are marked down for back to school! Can I pleeeease get them???" "....may I know why the black ones specifically?" "They match the ever nothingness of my soul." "Yep! The white ones it is then!" "Mooooooooooom!"— Vladimir has been dubbed the cringy vampire kid of course.
Lukas is into pretty much anything concerning cryptids and magical creatures because they can't be proven to be fake or real, which intrigues him. He carries a book about mushrooms at all times and info dumps on pretty much anyone about identifying poisonous mushrooms and which mushrooms are safe to eat. His backpack is covered in buttons and pins to show off his interests. He keeps an amethyst in the front pocket of his backpack, reason unknown other than to just randomly pull it out and let Mikkel look at it. He's that kid that always wears his hoodie no matter the season, he never takes it off. Under his hoodie is always a crude worded t-shirt that the school would not approve of, much less his parents. He's relatively quiet and because he's quiet he's considered a weird kid.
Arthur can't decide if punk is his style or if goth is. Either way, his way of self expression at school in addition to the uniform is horrible. Checkered black/red shoes his grandma got him with his older brother's hand me down worn out greying socks—"can I PLEASE just have my own clothes???" "we have perfectly good clothes for you in the garage! I can fix them up to fit you better and everything!" "but I want cool NEW clothes!" "those are cool clothes and as far as the other kids know, they're also new. Now get your transformer backpack and get to the car. I put a new patch on it last night so that should hold it for the rest of the year."— Old Pierce the veil shirt, with holes chewed into the collar from his older brother Dillan, peeking out from under his white polo. A black and red choker to match his black and red slowly tearing apart too big flannel on top of a black pull over. A deep blue beanie, the hoodie of his pull over almost constantly on top when outside the school. He dyes a part of his hair a different color every month. He spikes his hair using too much gel and is convinced he looks good. He talks too much about bands and always gets Vlad and Lukas going on and on about fictional creatures he does not FULLY believe in himself. He does, however, believe in magic and loves Harry Potter, more specifically the Weaselys, to bits.
Natalya is a sophomore, a year behind the boys, and she just kinda pushed her way into the friend group until they eventually accepted her into it. They were the only three she knew who liked occult related topics. She's on the baseball team because she wanted an excuse to hit things with another thing and NOT get detention because of it. She wears the khaki uniform skirt and takes full advantage over being able to wear any kind of tights underneath; skull pattern, plain black, blood splatter pattern, fire pattern. Anything that makes her feel like a badass. She's always talking about antiques and forging weapons, more specifically knives. She has a whole collection of fidget toys but her favorite is this pea pod keychain her father gave her. She's always talking about how she'd like to be a medical examiner and to just prove that she's serious, she'll bring up a picture of a human model and point out the difference between a self inflicted fatal wound and a homicide. She puts up a charade of being able to see and talk to ghosts to freak out Alfred, her extended friend first met through Tolys.
They collectively believe they're cool and that other people know this. They're genuinely blind to the obvious snickers sent their way, being called losers and nerds. They're really knowm for like really pathetic things like; Natalya is Ivan's, tallest and most intimidating member of the wrestling team, weird younger sister by a year. Lukas is just the weird quiet kid that reads by the courtyard garden during lunch. Vladimir is not only the vampire goth kid but the kid who's parents believe the teachers are giving his son low grades on purpose and will yell at them for it. And Arthur is just. He's another Kirkland, immediately assumed to be a massive trouble maker because of his now graduated brother Alistair and one grade above him brother Dillan. Everyone loved his eldest brother Darick and sometimes compare him to Darick.
Compared to what others THINK they do, such as witch craft for some odd reason, the four of them do pretty typical teen activities. Like hang out at the mall. Do their honework together. Play video games and D&D when they have the chance. The boys do have sleepovers still as they have since meeting each other in middle school, Nat not really being a fan of sleeping where she doesn't live but comfortable enough to go to their houses and just chill for the day. They have become friends because of their related interests but thats not what they're ALL ABOUT.
Fun facts/stories about these losers I thought about while bored as fuck:
• Lukas, in his freshman year, went on a nature hike field trip with his lit class after reading Into The Wild. And he brought his mushroom book of course. They walked around, looking at the sights, talked about the book. Lukas just stops at one point, falling behind the class. He picks up a mushroom, goes to the teacher and is like "You see this? Its not poisonous." And straight up fucking eats it without warning. The teacher called an ambulance even though Lukas kept telling him he was fine and that that mushroom was 100% okay to eat raw, but for sure better off cooked. Lukas calmly shows the paramedics his book and they're like "yeah that actually was safe to eat, we don't need the book to confirm that, but um. Please don't ever pick something off the ground and eat it again. Just. Please don't do that, son." .....he did it again before leaving to go back to school but this time he didn't tell anyone.
• In elementary school, Natalya brought in a model of the human brain she asked her dad to borrow. He had to say yes because she was his only child genuinely interested, not bored of, his medical profession and he found it very cute and honoring. So she's at show and tell, its her turn right, and she silently goes up to the front of the class and pulls out the model brain. Teacher tries to step in because, hey, these are 6 year olds—AND WHY DOES THIS 6 YEAR OLD HAVE A PLASTIC BRAIN??? But Nat just shooshes her. In surprised shock, the teacher is just quiet as Nat begins to explain parts of the brain and their function— which was all wrong actually. She knew the words and everything but she didn't get the locations right. She sounded confident and smart and she was telling this to a bunch of 6 year olds so they believed her of course. End of the school day, her dad is having a hilarious conference with his youngest's teacher about the brain incident.
• Vladimir loves reading. He's loved it since he began to learn how, even if his dyslexia gives him grief along the way. So since he loves to read he'll always get excited and read ahead in class or in the public library reading club. One summer, the reading club was reading The Giver and it was getting really good. Vlad was loving the story, so much so that Vlad began to read ahead in his own time when he really wasn't supposed to be, the club was reading it together out loud and discussing it. Now he's read enough and worked hard enough to figure out how to help himself focus better and understand each word and sentence without having to reread it all multiple times over or get stuck. But sometimes the meaning and context to what he's reading doesn't ALWAYS process with the words as he's too focused on reading the words right and it passes right over his head. So Vlad is reading ahead and he's getting to the part where The Giver has given Jonas the memory of the sled again. And Vlad just sits there after reading that paragraph. He rereads it. And rereads it again. And then he leaves his book on his bed, goes to the the hall closet and takes out the ironing board. He grabs a plastic container to use as an ill attempt of a helmet and he just. Rockets down the staircase and hits the wall. He screams and cries and his parents rush in from the livingroom. When asked what happened he just says "I wanted to understand the sled scene better! Now I do and I feel really bad for Jonas!" He just couldn't quite grasp WHY the sled accident hurt, never had a broken bone nor sled afterall, and needed to find out. And that's how Vlad got his first broken arm at the age of 12.
• When Alfred and Matthew moved in with Arthur's family, Arthur didn't like it. He was a moody young teen but he was also just tired of the full house. His cousins were loud and nosey. He had to share a room with his four older brothers already and now with Matthew while Kathleen and Alfred got a room to themselves. Arthur thought this was so unfair. So his solution was to run away. He was 13, he needed a place to have some peace and quiet for once. So he texts Francis and Lukas, the only two of his friends living in his neighnorhood. Francis is not on board with helping him run away at first but then Lukas brings literally all his camping gear for Arthur's use and then Francis is on board because he had the feeling Arthur was going to get himself killed somehow. So as the elder one of the group he accompanied Arthur and Lukas out to the short stretch of woods behind the last street of their neighborhood, intending to go to the big clearing before hitting the roads leading to the airport and whatever else buildings. They're out there setting everything up together and they're done by like 4 pm. They sit down and talk, munch on oreos and other snacks Arthur deemed as essential survival foods. Then Francis looks at his cell and remarks "wow its already 6! Ah, Lukas, we should get home. Afterall, neither of us ran away so we still have supper to eat. Come on Lukas, let's go before our parents come looking for us." They exchange goodbyes, Francis trying his best to hide his cocky smirk. So Lukas and Francis start walking off, Arthur crawls into the tent and eats half a cookie before frowning and feeling too alone. He didn't expect to feel alone because all he wanted was to BE ALONE. Before he knows it, he's running out of the tent yelling after his friends to stop and wait up. "Oh whats wrong, Arthur? I thought you wanted to run away." "I— I forgot I hadn't fed my rabbit is all! I'll run away tomorrow! I'm not... Feeling lonely if.. If that's what you think...." Arthur did not run away the next day. Buuuuuut the three plus Vlad made a tree house together in the Kirkland backyard that they still use today!
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andersunmenschlich · 3 years
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"Was I Abused" game
Copied and pasted from this post by @furiousgoldfish (to save space since you can't reformat anything in posts you reblog).
Is it accurate? Who knows! My memories of childhood are incomplete! Besides, a lot of these things seem frankly normal to me and not abusive at all... which, if they are abusive, is probably an especially bad sign. Hm. Anyway, on to the game!
Reblog and bold the things your parents have done to you! Italicize if you're not sure. (copy paste it all and then bold)
Physical abuse
parent slapped me to prove their point / teach me a lesson (I don't remember. It would have been loss of temper anyhow, not point-proving or lesson-teaching.)
parent spanked me as a “punishment” saying it was for my own good (Hey, I was raised full-on Michael Pearl TTUAC-style. This is foundational.)
parent pulled on my hair to force me to move
parent threw things at me while angry, things heavy enough to hurt me (Kind of? She and my sister were on my bed, top bunk. I was cowering on the floor. But I dunno if she was angry.)
parent trapped me in a room/corner so I couldn’t escape them (I don't remember. But I do know, in my very bones, that there was no escape from them. You couldn't run. You couldn't hide. And trying would only make things worse.)
parent hit me when I wouldn’t obey them / tried to confront them (To Train Up A Child, people.)
parent used a twig / stick / belt to lash at my body (Again—this is the Pearl technique. My parents broke a lot of wooden paint mixing sticks on me before discovering this whippy plastic rod about the thickness of a pencil! You could sharpen the end in a pencil sharpener, too. They had a ton of those, it seemed like. And a short one for trips outside the house; it fit in Mom's purse.)
parent grabbed me to force me to pay attention to them
parent pinned me down and physically prevented me from escaping (...Yeah. Again, this is the Pearl technique.)
parent brought me into situations where I feared for my life (I—look, it's not like the fears were rational or anything. It's just that the world is terrifying when you're autistic and so much hurts. And have been taught your whole life that "the world" is a terrible, dangerous place that can kill you both physically and spiritually. Yeah.)
parent made it painfully obvious for me that I’ll obey them or suffer injuries (I mean. TTUAC.)
parent threatened to beat me if I wouldn’t do as they say (This was the most basic part of my childhood. Like air. Under what circumstances would this not be the case? Unimaginable.)
parent forcefully fed me something I refused to eat (Does not letting you eat between meals, and putting the same food in front of you at each meal—over and over again until you either eat it or it grows mold—count?)
parent made an attempt at strangling / drowning / burning me
parent banged my head / body into the wall / furniture (To be fair, I hit him first. And it's not like I broke the table when his punch sent me across the room: I didn't hit it that hard. Just busted open the back of my head a bit.)
parent forced me into sexual activities
Emotional abuse
parent called me derogatory names and slurs more than once (Frankly, I'm still reasonably convinced that I am a monster. And evil. And I am definitely a fool, at least biblically speaking. "The fool says in his heart, 'There is no god,'" indeed.)
parent said my name mostly with hatred and scorn in their voice (To be fair, it was my name.)
parent degraded and humiliated me in front of others for fun
parent insulted and devalued something really important to me (I mean, in retrospect, it was dumb. Just a worthless paper model of a house, that's all. It wasn't even that great. I was a little kid, after all. So what if I'd spent all day on it? It was still garbage, really.)
parent deprived me of something that meant the world to me (I don't remember. I genuinely don't remember, but I still have trouble admitting that I care about anything because part of me is terrified that if anyone knows I like a thing they'll have a way to hurt me, and that fear has to have come from somewhere, right?)
parent yelled and swore at me in anger more than once
parent blamed me for things that were out of my control/not my fault (And they do feel bad about this now.)
parent shamed me for my physical appearance
parent guilt-tripped me for not pleasing them well enough (I mean, they tried. But good luck; I have no idea what guilt feels like. I bought a book about it because I was curious.)
parent regarded me as a burden, and shamed me for needing them at all (Hmm. I don't really do shame either. I was a burden, though.)
parent insisted I couldn’t take a joke after I was hurt by their insults
parent never comforted me / got angry if I reached for comfort (Again, to be fair: I'm autistic. I'm pretty sure they were just having trouble with my body language and facial expressions. Why else would they punish me for bad attitude when all I wanted was to be cooed at and fluttered over with the same concern they showed my siblings when they cried about their wounded knees?)
parent punished me for crying / showing fear / showing trauma symptoms
parent humiliated me for showing excitement and happiness
parent subtly let me know that my feelings and my problems don’t matter (They, uh. They don't. My feelings and problems are mine. Why should anyone else care? It's genuinely not their problem.)
parent got angry at me for feeling depressed / angry / tired / suicidal
parent blamed me for feeling depressed / angry / tired / suicidal (Who else's fault would it be? They're my feelings, produced by my body and brain, experienced only by me, in my own head. Dang if I see how anybody else could be to blame.)
parent compared me to cousins / other children to prove how I’m the worst (Dang you, Perfect Second Child. ... Although... in retrospect... that set-up wasn't great for you either, was it. Hm.)
parent decided for me how I feel when it was convenient for them
parent told me that I was crazy / delusional / need to be locked away (I don't remember. It sounds familiar. But I don't. I don't remember.)
parent threatened me with kicking me out / sending me away if I don’t change (Kind of? Does it count if you overhear your parents talking about it in their locked bedroom? Not their fault I was listening at the door, surely. They were genuinely considering it. I can't blame them. I was a terrible child.)
parent refused to accept my sexuality gender / tried to force it to change
parent required me to act normal to protect family’s reputation
parent isolated me from family activities they all enjoy (Nooo, haha, I did that all on my own.)
parent assured me that nobody will ever want me (I mean... "only a mother could love" is a saying for a reason. And if even my own mother couldn't love me, well! I don't remember whether anyone told me this outright. It just seemed... obvious.)
parent insisted that I was lucky and that I could have had it much worse (I could have!)
parent made me responsible for their well-being and made me the caretaker
parent insisted that their harmful acts were all done “out of love” (The subject of love was confusing. "I don't love you," "I hate you," "I have to love you because you're my child, so I love you—but I don't have to like you, and I don't, I don't like you at all" ...it was all very confusing.)
parent demanded I be available for their requests at any time (Well, yes, obviously. To Train Up A Child was very clear about this.)
parent punished me for trying to establish boundaries (Boundaries, boundaries. Hmm. Interesting concept....)
parent destroyed my belongings as a form of revenge (Revenge? I don't know. Consequences, I think it was. For keeping all my favorite toys on my bed, and nesting in them. So obviously they had to be thrown onto the floor. And at my head. Ahaha.)
parent made inappropriate sex jokes and comments in my presence
parent denied doing any of this and insists that all the blame is on me (I'm not sure they aren't right, honestly. As previously noted, I am a horrible person, and I was even more horrible as a child.)
Psychological Abuse
parent kept pointing out my flaws as proofs that I won't achieve anything (Mmm... was it them, or was it me doing this? Seems like they were always telling me how intelligent I was, how talented, how much promise I had. The voices asking why wasn't I doing anything, why couldn't I use the gifts God had given me correctly, why was I wasting it all, I'm the stupidest smart person ever, garbage, can't do anything right, etc., seem to have always come from my own mind.)
parent called me stupid, incompetent, ignorant, while withholding information that I needed to know in order to complete tasks
parent would change their side of the agreement at a crucial moment and then pretend it was obvious from the start
parent stalked me / distrusted me without any reason / invaded my privacy (I'm really not sure. What privacy? A four-bedroom house with twelve people in it has very little room for privacy. And if you have nothing to hide....)
parent attacked my insecurities and vulnerabilities in any argument (Dad's always been very good at this. It's his emotional intelligence, I think. Never been much of a cryer, but he can do it to me every time!)
parent forced me into degrading actions while they watched
parent threatened to leave me
parent regularly accused me of behaving the way they did
parent never acknowledged, praised or approved of my actions
parent always demanded they be acknowledged as right without any proof / explanation (Sort of? They had explanations. It's just that those explanations were often terrible. Not that my parents were aware of that.)
parent insisted that they’re a great parent using financial support as proof
parent insisted that I should be grateful for how good they are to me (Keeping me safe from the world! The evil, dirty, disgusting world, full of immoral monsters! Oh, the horrible things that could happen to me without their protection! ...Which is not entirely untrue, I guess. But... I dunno....)
parent gaslit me and tried to make me believe my memories weren’t real if I confronted them with what they did
Neglect
parent didn’t notice I haven’t been eating properly (Frankly, I preferred that. I never much cared for being forced to eat things that made me feel sick.)
parent didn’t notice I was sick / didn’t care for me while I was sick
parent didn’t notice I was injured (Eh. After the first few years of my life, that suited me just fine.)
parent didn’t notice I didn’t have clothes / shoes I needed for school (I didn't go to school.)
parent didn’t notice I suffered from trauma (Look, it's—it's the autism again, okay? Living in a world that hurts you horribly at unpredictable moments is traumatic. I didn't know it was trauma. I just thought it was life. So how could they have known?)
parent didn’t notice I was anxious and stressed (Oh, they noticed that.)
parent didn’t notice I was depressed (Once again—I didn't realize. So how could they? I'm really not sure this counts.)
parent didn’t notice I was cutting myself (Whipping myself, actually. With tree branches. Until the skin broke. Hmm, that was when I was in my early teens, though—as a kid I used to turn a little wooden rocking chair upside down and throw myself into the sharp ends of the rockers. To be fair, they might have noticed. Just... who really cares? I was a rough and tumble kid. Scrapes and bruises and cuts and what-have-you were to be expected. Anyway, there was no cutting; I never cut myself.)
parent didn’t notice I was suicidal (I wasn't. I'm not. I won't be. Mind over matter. Ha.)
parent didn’t notice I was being sexually abused
parent didn’t notice I was being bullied
parent failed to get me medical attention when it was needed
parent failed to teach me the very basics of self care
parent didn’t seem to notice any of my needs and feelings except the absolute minimum I required to survive (Uh. Anything more than the absolute minimum you require to survive isn't a need. You need to survive. Do you really need anything else? I mean, it's nice, a definite plus, but....)
when I notified them of these things, they denied it, accused me of lying, decided it wasn’t happening and/or blamed me for it
Financial Abuse
parent made me feel ashamed for needing money
parent made me feel like I was a financial burden to them (But I was. Come on, now. There's no way honesty counts as abuse. ...Is there?)
parent only gave me minimal money to survive (I don't—there were kids out there getting money from their parents? I mean, they're giving you clothes, food, and shelter already. What for would you need money? I must be missing something.)
parent made sure I never have a decent amount of money on me (Again—I never had that much money. Quarters from the Tooth Fairy: that was it. Money from birthday cards or whatever went in the college fund under their bed. "For your future." And I raided that stash later to buy books anyhow.)
parent took the money I earned from me
parent used the money to blackmail me (if you continue this way let’s see who will pay for your bus ticket!)
parent insisted since they “pay for my stuff” they have the right to control my behaviour and actions (and attitudes. Is this, um. Is this not true?)
parent had enough money for luxury but kept me without anything
parent refused to get my medicine / get me medical attention because it’s too expensive while they got everything for themselves (Nah, they didn't visit the doctor either.)
parent would keep me anxious over if they would pay my expenses or not
parent would make me do as much work for them as possible before they would pay for a necessity
parent kept me in the dark over family finances even when I was of age (Was that them, though? Or was that me? It's difficult to know what's going on with your money when you can't go outside during the day—so no bank visits—and you don't have the password to your bank account because you never asked for it, so you can't do anything online. Which was just as well, because my laptop was... not great. Almost certainly terribly insecure.)
parent would make sure I never have enough money to escape them
If you bold more than 5 things, you have been through abuse. For some particular ones, even one true thing on this list means you’ve been badly harmed by your parents. Also this list is not complete, there are many more abusive behaviours not listed here, feel free to add!
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diaphragmjellyfish · 4 years
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Roast Me, Baby
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Not my gif
Note: This is my first fic ever, so any feedback would be appreciated! 
Warnings: anxiety, panic attack, insults, sweet Rafe
Summary: Reader is a pogue and she and Rafe make fun of each other constantly. Like witty banter and roasting, and they act like they hate each other. Keyword- act. One night, the reader has had a terrible day and is having major anxiety, when Rafe finds her and unknowingly makes it worse. She goes into full-blown panic and he gets all soft and sweet and fluffy. 
Life as a Pogue was anything you could ever want. It was a simple life, full of adventure and fun. And your personal favorite activity, pissing of Kooks. Specifically, Rafe Cameron. You guys had a strange relationship full of constant roasting and acting like you want to kill each other. But you’d be lying if you said you didn’t look forward to the witty banter. It was a good way to let off steam, and he seemed to be the only person you’d ever met that could keep up and not take anything personally. And you’d bet money he felt the same way about you. 
It was a sunny day, late afternoon just before the sun went down and you were sitting on the docks near the Boneyard looking out at the ocean. You’d always loved sailing, and wanted to travel the world by boat one day if you could ever afford it. Suddenly you were interrupted from your fantasy by your nemesis himself. 
“Damn, someone should really pick up the trash around here. Get back to the dumpster, Pogue.” He said, smirking at you. 
You just rolled your eyes and laughed to yourself as you continued looking out at the water. Verbal battles with Rafe were sometimes your favorite part of the day. You turned around and noticed that his goons, Topper and Kelc, were with him. 
“Ya know, I heard a statistic that the hair product from you three alone accounts for over 90% of plastic in the ocean,” you quipped back. 
“Don’t push me troll. I might have to teach you some respect one of these days,” he challenged. 
Topper and Kelc looked annoyed, though they were used to Rafe doing this. He always talked about you, how much you got on his nerves, how you were a dirty pogue with no manners or morals. They started to walk away, knowing he’d follow. When they were a few steps away, he looked at you smiling and said,”Until next time, y/l/n.” He winked, and ran to catch up to his Neanderthal friends. 
As much as Rafe Cameron was your mortal enemy in life, you had to admit that some things he did just made your heart flutter. If he didn’t stop winking at you, you might just walk into the ocean to avoid the embarrassment of catching feelings for him. 
Encounters like this happened often, and you were always ready for them. Except for today. You woke up with a tight chest and a pounding heart. So it was going to be an anxiety day. Okay. You had to push through it like always. But the day only got worse. Work was an absolute nightmare. You were a waitress at a restaurant on Figure 8- Kook central. Your boss yelled at you for being 5 minutes late and not having your hair up, someone let their toddler throw food all over the walls and you had to clean it, you didn’t get a lunch break because it was so busy, and to top it all off, some lady threw her drink at you because it didn’t taste like Diet. When your shift ended, all you wanted was to walk home, eat a barrel of chicken nuggets, and go to sleep. Only it was storming outside. 
Normally you’d be fine walking in the rain at night, bit with the already bad day you were having and your anxiety, your brain screamed at you to take cover and wait for the storm to end. There was a small pavilion by the golf course that would likely be empty, where you could freak out in peace. The walk there was horrible, cold, and wet, but you finally made it and plopped down on one of the tables and tried to do some breathing exercises to calm your pounding heart. It seemed to be getting worse, though. 
Rafe had left some golf clubs at the course when he was there earlier with Topper, and as he was running through the rain to the main building, he spotted you. It had been a couple of days since you guys had had a good bickering, and he needed to let off some steam. He approached, but didn’t notice your struggle to breathe. 
“What’s up troll? You’re looking particularly disgusting today. Tell me, what’s it like to have no future and to know that you’ll be slaving away for the rest of your life?” He knew it was harsh, harsher than usual, but he was pissed that Ward made him come back for those stupid golf clubs in the middle of a storm. He’d expected you to roll your eyes, clap back, or even give him a shove for that extra brutal dig, but he didn’t expect you to start choking on sobs. You grabbed at your neck, now sitting up, and tried your best to get air into your lungs, but it wasn’t working. His comment had sent you over the top, wondering if you really would be a slave to the rich and have soda sumped on you every day for the rest of your life. 
Rafe was shocked. He’d never seen you anything but smiling, even when he teased you mercilessly. 
“Woah, hey, are you ok y/n?” He asked.
You shook your head no and grabbed at your chest, looking at him with terrified eyes. You’d had bad anxiety before, but you’d never been unable to breathe like this, and it was scaring you. 
“Ok, ok, I got you,” he said calmly while he lowered your head between your knees. “Just breathe. In through your nose, out through your mouth.” He rubbed your back comfortingly. He used to get panic attacks when his parents were going through divorce, so he knew what you were feeling, and that the best thing to do was distract you. He sat beside you and began to talk. 
“You know this one time, when I was like 12, my parents had just told me and Sarah that they were getting a divorce. She didn’t seem to care, but I was so upset, it was like my whole world came crashing down.” You were able to take shaky breaths at this point, and nodded along to the story. 
“And you know what I did? I had this whole plan to get them back together where I would get them both on our boat and push it off the dock, but I wouldn’t give them the key. And I wasn’t going to let them off until they made up.” Your breathing had slowed slightly and you gave a small laugh. This made Rafe smile, so he kept going. 
“My dad threatened to beat my ass unless I let them off, so I did and he beat me anyways. And that’s when the anger started.” You tensed, and reached out to grab his hand that wasn’t rubbing your back. 
“The next couple of years, I was so mad at everyone and everything all the time. And when Dad met Rose, I kind of spiraled. Started getting into drugs, stealing, bullying. But one day like a year ago Topper convinced me to go to this kegger at the Boneyard. I was by myself off to the side just drinking and being pissed, when this girl came up to me and said ‘why the long face? Daddy didn’t buy you the right color Corvette?’” 
You brought your head up from between your knees and smiled slightly, “I remember that.” 
Rafe moved so he was sitting with his arm around you, and your head on his shoulder. He continued, “Yeah. And I just thought like, who does this girl think she is? She can’t talk to me that way. So I clapped back, called you a troll and told you to go back to your bridge, and you just laughed. Threw your head back and laughed like you didn’t have a care in the world, like I’d just said the funniest joke and not completely insulted you.” His hand was rubbing up and down your arm now, and his other hand came up to caress your face, pushing your hair behind your ear. 
“And we went back and forth, roasting each other for hours. That was the best I’d felt in a long time. I was letting off steam, getting my anger out, and you gave it right back to me smiling the whole time. I’ve never met anyone who smiles as much as you.” He gave your shoulder a squeeze and you laughed. Your breathing was normal now, and you’d forgotten about the tightness in your chest. There was a pause, before he leaned down and placed a soft kiss on your forehead. Your heart fluttered. 
You lifted your head up to look at him and said, “Thanks. I don’t know why I was freaking out like that, but I’m really glad I wasn’t alone.” 
“I get it. Here, the rain stopped. Let me drive you home.” He stood up and offered his hand for you to take. 
“Umm, I actually might walk.” Fresh air always helped when you felt anxious, and you thought if you got in a car with that circulating AC air, you might freak out again. 
“Then I’ll walk you home.” 
As you stood up to take his hand, Rafe noticed your shivering form. You were soaked from the rain, and wearing only a thin t-shirt and shorts. 
“Let me just grab something from my car real quick.” he said. You both walked through the parking lot towards his black SUV, the only car there, and he reached into the back seat and pulled out a hoodie, holding it out for you. “Here, put this on.” You didn’t object because, to be honest, you were so cold you couldn’t feel his skin. It hung down to your knees and swallowed you whole. Rafe just looked down at you with something like affection in his eyes and said “Adorable.” You blushed at the ground and started walking again. It wasn’t a super long walk, maybe half an hour, but it went by like 5 minutes. You talked, played eye-spy, and at one point he gave you a piggy back ride because you kept stumbling on a gravel road. 
You reached your house all too soon, and went to take off the hoodie and give it back when he stopped you, “Keep it. It looks better on you.” You blushed and stood on your tippy toes to kiss his cheek. 
It was his turn to blush as you said, “Thank you Rafe. For everything.” 
You caught him looking down at your lips, and he started to lean down. He made you feel so much better tonight, and you wanted to know what it’d be like to kiss him. So you closed your eyes, and your lips met in a sweet kiss, his hands on your waist and yours cupping his face. You separated after a few seconds and both started to laugh. He followed by saying, “Maybe after tonight you’ll let me take you out some time?” You nodded and smiled ear to ear, because even though you never imagined this happening, you were happy to be with Rafe.
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britishassistant · 3 years
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Those Three Monsters
There’s a Demon in the Academy.
It’s a miracle it’s even allowed to attend, is what Urami’s kaa-chan says to Akui’s in a low voice, shaking her head in that knowledgable way she does. Even if it’s in the year below Mi-chan and A-kun, everyone knows it’ll only be a matter of time before it snaps and someone gets hurt. Foxes will kill all the chickens in a henhouse for fun rather than for food after all.
What are the Academy teachers thinking? Akui’s kaa-chan always asks in response. It’s not like training that thing will make it any more loyal to the village. It’s a waste of their taxes to even let it take up a desk it’s too stupid and reckless to appreciate.
Urami sneaks a glance at it in the Academy playground in the morning, before classes.
It’s already got it’s first victim singled out, hanging off the arm of that dead-fish-eyed girl with the awful fashion sense. It’s probably mistaken the foreigner for an actual fish, she tells Akui-kun on their way to class.
He laughs in response. “Do you think Iron scrap tastes like fish?”
She shrugs. “I wouldn’t be surprised if that blond eyesore thinks so. The Demon’s so dumb, the only reason they let it in here is because the stupid teachers are too scared to tell it to go away. My mama says that if they have any sense, they won’t teach it anything.”
Akui-kun ponders this. “Well it’s so dumb, it probably doesn’t understand anything we’re learning anyway. It’s just a crappy fox after all! It could never be a good ninja!”
She beams at her friend’s cleverness and is about to reply, when they’re rudely shouldered apart.
“Hey!” She yells after the jerk who did it.
That idiot Rock Lee turns and smiles at them. His eyes are weird though, sending a shiver she’ll never admit to feeling down her spine. “Ah, excuse me fellow classmates! I was so busy thinking about how youthful my friends are, I did not notice you! Please accept my humble apologies for inconveniencing you!”
Akui-kun snorts. “Whatever, weirdo.”
They try to walk past him, but the stupid eyebrows blocks them from entering the classroom. “You know, Naruto-kun is sure to be an excellent ninja once we all graduate the Academy! His youthfulness and Will of Fire shine so brightly it is impossible not to notice! I hope to be on a team with him and the most beautiful Haruno Sakura under Gai-sensei once we graduate!!”
She can’t stop her lip from curling. “Seriously? That Demon is just a team casualty waiting to happen! Why would anyone with a brain want to be with a stupid monster like him?!”
Rock Lee stops smiling and looks her dead in the eye. “Naruto at least does not gossip about his comrades behind their backs like a coward. He’s already proven he’s a better ninja than you could ever hope to be.”
She feels her face going hot and Akui-kun splutters beside her as the know-nothing talentless eyebrows turns on his heel, ignoring them as he goes to sit next to TenTen-san!
They try to make him pay in taijutsu spars later that day, they do! It’s not their fault that the stupid talentless eyebrows cheats and is blatantly favored by Iruka-sensei because he’s so useless at everything else!!
Urami fusses over the red bruise on her cheek that afternoon after the Academy lets out. What if it swells and goes all purple and ugly and Neji-kun will think she’s hideous and never look at her ever again?!
Akui-kun grumbles and glares at where the useless talentless worthless eyebrows is messing around with the demon by the swings. “What would he even know about being a ninja?! He can’t even use chakra! He’s the biggest failure of a ninja there is!”
She shuts her compact with a click. “I think it’s amazing he hasn’t dropped out already. I mean, him having a desk at the Academy is somehow an even bigger waste of time than that demon right? Letting him believe he can be a ninja when he’s so worthless—the teachers really are cruel.”
Akui-kun’s mouth curls up into that smile he gets whenever he’s thought of something really clever. “It’s probably because he’s an orphan, you know? It’s seriously charity, because everyone feels sorry for such a pathetic pair of eyebrows. That’s probably why he’s hanging out with the demon too. Who else would want him?”
She giggles high and fast, feeling daring. “I bet his parents are alive but were so disgusted with what an ugly baby he was, they dumped him at the Orphanage rather than be burdened with him. I mean, if I had a baby that looked like him, I’d get rid of it as fast as I could!”
Akui-kun grins back, his eyebrows creased.
”Oi, you two.”
They turn to see the Iron girl standing behind them, hips cocked at a weird angle. Her dead-fish-eyes are super creepy, staring down at them without blinking.
She flushes. “D-don’t you know better than to eavesdrop on your senpai?!”
She tilts her head, lips curling up into a mocking smirk. “Yeah, I really couldn’t give less of shit. Just thought I’d give you some...friendly advice.”
Akui-kun straightens, looking down his nose at the dumb foreigner. “Wh-what could someone like you even tell us that we don’t already know?”
The Iron scrap shrugs almost carelessly. “Lee’s going to be the best ninja this village has ever seen. He’s kind and honest and strong, even without using ch-chakra to cheat. It’s why Gai-sensei brought him to our training, why everyone who’s anyone is friends with him, why my parents keep trying to adopt him even though the Orphanage is too dumb to let us. Telling lies about an amazing person like him...you’re just asking to get cursed.”
She wants to laugh, ask the stupid immigrant what the hell rotted her brain, but she—she can’t. Akui-kun’s gone pale and his mouth is quivering. The air feels—feels heavy, all of a sudden. Almost like it won’t let her breathe.
The slant-eyed scrap pats them each on the shoulder, smirk wide and evil. “I’d pray for forgiveness if I were you, and watch your mouths in the future. You never know who’s listening after all.”
Then that—that stupid, eavesdropping, treacherous intruder walks past them to where the demon and eyebrows are waiting and waving to her.
She can’t move a muscle until the three monsters leave the Academy grounds. Then Akui-kun bursts into tears.
Urami’s had a string of bad luck since last night. It almost feels like everything that could go wrong did, starting from when she complained about the eavesdropping foreigner to kaa-chan, only for her mother to go pale and scold her furiously for insulting Lee when he’s a student of the jounin Maito Gai.
When she sees Akui-kun after her kaa-chan drags her round to discuss what happened with Akui’s kaa-chan, he’s looking just as pale and tired as she feels.
”That stupid foreigner probably cursed us with creepy Iron magic.” He complains as they sit on his back porch.
She shudders. “You think so? How awful! She’s not human!”
“Well, Iron samurai are so backwards they basically live in caves in the mountains.” Akui-kun says. “Tou-san says they’re more like monkeys that learned how to swing around swords than actual people.”
”I hate her.” She complains, spinning a kunai around her finger. “What’s that dead-fish-eyes even doing in this village anyway?! She and her scrap metal family should just go back to the mountains where they belong!”
Akui-kun straightens, looking at the bush at the bottom of the garden. “Pass that here.” He says.
She hands it over with a frown, and watches as he throws it at something. There’s a sound like a cry and she claps. “Well done Akui-kun! What’d you hit?”
He grins his special smile at her and pulls her down to the bottom of the garden. A fat grey pigeon lays dead in the dirt under the bush. She pulls out her kunai and wipes it on the vermin’s feathers.
“Tou-san used to go put these on the scrap��s doorstep with Gizen-jii when the slant’s father was trying to betray the village.” He tells her excitedly. “If we go put this there, it’ll make her stupid curse rebound back onto her for sure!”
She knew there was a reason why she was friends with him all these years! “For real?! You’re so smart Akui-kun!”
They both get up early and sneak out the next morning, the dead bird in a plastic shopping bag with “GO DIE STUPID IRON SCRAP” written on the outside with marker. She was quite proud of thinking to write that one there.
They get to the house where the foreigners live. They’re giggling to each other as they go up to the front door.
“Hey! What’re you guys doing?!”
Urami freezes. Akui looks terrified.
They turn to see the Demon behind them.
It glances between them, then down at the bag. It’s face curls into a snarl at the sight of the marker, teeth white and pointed, blue eyes cruel, whiskers curving over its cheeks.
”LEAVE MAYU-CHAN ALONE!!” It screams, lunging for them.
They drop the bag and run for it, but it’s no use, the Demon’s too fast, it’s gaining on them.
It is a Fox that will kill them for fun at any moment, Urami’s sure of it.
Suddenly her shirt is seized and she can’t run anymore. She thrashes around, trying to escape, hears Akui-kun screaming that it was all her idea, like a liar—
Urami looks up and sees a pair of eyebrows even bushier than dumb Lee’s on the man holding onto her and Akui-kun.
”WHAT IS GOING ON HERE?” The giant green eyebrows booms.
She tries to stutter out an answer, or beg the man to not let the Fox eat them, when the Demon yells, “Gai-sensei, those jerks were tryna put this outside Mayu-chan’s door, believe it! There’s—oh gross, there’s a dead bird in here!!”
The giant eyebrows pull down to look thunderous, and Urami whimpers.
Urami doesn’t talk to Akui-kun anymore.
She isn’t allowed to listen when her parents talk about grown-up village things anymore either. Not since the jounin in green escorted her and Akui home in disgrace and scolded them in front of their parents. She’s apparently “too immature” to be trusted with listening anymore.
She’s heard rumors Akui-kun might drop out of the Academy soon and go work at his Gizen-jii’s convenience store. She kind of hopes he won’t, even if he is a spineless traitor who tried to sell her out.
She doesn’t know if she can survive being a ninja on her own.
One thing’s for sure though.
She is staying as far away as she can get from those— those three monsters as she can get.
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artificialqueens · 4 years
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Mer-made For Each Other (Crystal x Gigi) - Mina
A/N: I’ve had this mermaid au in my drafts for ages and finally deemed it ready to post. I have a fun enemies to lovers thing coming out sometime this week so look forward to that, I hope you like this! As always you can come yell at me on @goodemornting :)
Summary: There’s something weird about Crystal’s new neighbour, the shy and shrimp-loving Gigi Goode. Something… fishy.
It felt like bricks were being stacked one by one on Crystal’s limbs as she trudged home from the library at nearly one o’clock on a Saturday. Her worn bookbag was slung half hazardously over her shoulder, the books inside almost certainly working to unravel the tightly woven threads meant to hold them. She felt as though she was slowly breaking down, like even a simple gust of wind could knock her over or simply erode her as if she were dust from a stone. Pulling an all nighter was definitely not the redhead’s best decision, but in the rare moment she got the motivation or the information to write her thesis, well, Crystal knew better than to ignore it.
Coffee, she needed coffee, sweetened until it could hardly be considered drinkable, but in favor of her bank account keeping steady she didn’t stop for any on the way home - a walking zombie with only one thing on her mind, said thing the plush blankets laying bed ready to welcome her back home. Tiny cheers erupted from the back of her mind when she finally reached her floor, the cheap and frayed beige carpet and faded salmon colored wallpaper a comforting sign that soon she could plummet into the depths of sleep.
But, the path to her door just happened to be blocked.
Blocked by a person carrying a box.
Crystal paused, blinking - her eyes burned with the need for sleep - and took in the figure before her who stared right back. It was a woman, pale skin peeking through a stylish black cardigan and tucked into a simple plaid skirt that ended just shy of the middle of her thighs, long legs extending to slip into modest heels. The redhead met her deep eyes - they looked black, but the light of the hall catching in them revealed a deep blue - beholding her sloping nose, lips upturned and glossy, and eyes framed by an abundance of eyelashes. Her hair was long and straight and wet, like a dark brown river dripping globs of water onto the floor as she blinked right back at Crystal with a tilt of her head.
Oh, she was cute.
“Who are you?” She asked, words echoing around through the hallway. Seconds after the words left her mouth she felt stupid. The boxes, the new woman before her, the lack of residency in the room beside prior, the landlord telling her yesterday before she had rushed out to get her materials from the library, should’ve answered that question immediately.
“Oh, um, hello,” the woman held a box between them, her arms swallowed up by the oversized cardigan. “I just moved in. I’m Gigi Goode.”
Oh, she’s very cute. And hot.
“Crystal,” She managed to mumble back with a small tired smile, “Elizabeth.”
The woman - Gigi Goode - smiled, a dainty one, her teeth extremely white and seemingly pointy like a shark. “I hope we can become friends.”
“Likewise,” The redhead reciprocated with a tiny wave, ending in a yawn that she’d feel bad about later but right now the image of her fluffy pillows is beckoning her. Crystal had meant what she said though, she certainly wouldn’t mind making friends with the supermodel next door. Especially when she was less tired.
“Ah, um, it was nice meeting you, but gestured to the door just behind her, beside the one currently propped open with a box labeled dishes. Her eyes widened when she realised Crystal was probably trying to get inside as well, audibly letting out an “Oh!” followed by an apologetic, “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to stop you.”
The taller woman shrugged nonchalantly in return, taking the needed steps to her door whilst digging in her jean pocket for her keys and brushing it off with a “It’s fine, nice meeting you!”
The task of fishing her keys from her pocket - which should’ve been easy because of all the chains and ornaments she stuck to them - took longer than she would’ve liked, but thankfully, she was tired and couldn’t feel any embarrassment when they finally plummeted to the beige carpet. She huffed, going to pick them up before a delicate hand got to them first. Crystal jerked back, Gigi offering her shy smile, fitting the key in easily and turning it until there’s an audible click.
“Thank…you?” The redhead mumbled, pink cheeks covered by all the makeup there in the first place. There was a salty smell to Gigi, it reminded Crystal of her trips to the beach as a child, all the sand that got caught in her hair and how much icecream she consumed every day of summer. She shook her head, trying to escape from the thoughts of how good the shorter woman might look in a swimsuit.
The brunette nodded, “Don’t mention it”, politely stepping back to the box she’d set down, picking it up easily and disappearing through her door.
Crystal decided to follow suit, making her way through her darkened apartment with practiced ease and hitting the pillows just as she heard a thud echo from the other side of the wall.
***
Two and a half had weeks passed until Crystal saw her neighbor again. Honestly that could’ve been due to the fact she left and came back to the apartment at the most ungodly hours and sometimes spent the night at her friend’s house when she couldn’t work up the energy to walk all the way from campus back to the place she pays for to sleep in. But what she noticed when she did come home is that Gigi didn’t leave her apartment much, or when she did she left for long periods of time. Whenever the redhead came home there was always a takeout box in front of her neighbor’s door from the seafood place two blocks down, no signs that anyone was out to collect it soon. Crystal tried to mind her business, but when the smell of fish always wafted through the hall, carpet permanently littered with trails of water drops, she couldn’t help but get a little curious.
It was one of the rare days Crystal actually came home when the sun was out - granted it was settling for the evening. When she entered the hall and smelt the familiar seafood she almost groaned audibly, before spotting a young kid - high school age at least - carrying the familiar takeout box and rapping his knuckles three times against Gigi’s door. The first time they met, Crystal hadn’t thought much of the dripping wet hair, but when it popped out of the door, her brain couldn’t reason that maybe the pale woman just got out of the shower. After all, most people dry their hair with a towel after bathing, not letting thick drops of water fall onto the beige carpet of the hall when they smile wide and accept more seafood.
Maybe Gigi just got hot easily? Understandable, since she was quite attractive. But why would you always have wet hair? To be fair the redhead had only seen her twice.
Crystal’s head ached, deciding that prying into her neighbours strange habits - especially when she has plenty herself - was only going to add more stress to her already way overblown stress meter, when Gigi opened her door to the child with a soft smile, immediately shifting to her gaze to Crystal.
Her cheeks stretched into a warm smile, “Oh, Neighbour!” She waved.
The taller woman paused, mentally checking how worn down she looked. Her clothes were noticeably wrinkle-free, the bags under her eyes concealed by the glasses she put on instead of contacts, and her hair was mussed. Crystal reasoned that it was a huge improvement from the past few days, hell, she wasn’t wearing sweatpants.
“Hey Gigi,” she waved back politely, “seafood again?” It was meant as a polite attempt at conversation, but the way the thin woman tensed maybe she shouldn’t have brought it up. 
The laugh the brunette let out must’ve been meant to be nonchalant but it was much more stiff.  “Oh, you know, just my favorite.”
Without thinking, “Really? What’s your favorite?” Crystal wished she would have just read the atmosphere and go into her apartment, sit down, and agonize over her thesis like usual instead of pry into a topic her neighbor obviously wanted to avoid. Maybe someone had thought Gigi’s love of seafood was weird and told her that and now she’s self conscious about it.
“Uh,” The pause was almost comical, the shorter woman glancing nervously at the takeout in her hands, “shrimp.”
Crystal blinked, echoing “Shrimp?”
Gigi breathed in sharply, fingers fiddling with the plastic bag. “Yes,” she said sagely, “shrimp.”
Oh. Okay.
“I like shrimp too” Crystal giggled, and that wasn’t not really a lie, as much as she used it to ease whatever awkwardness is around them.
“Oh.” Gigi’s shoulders relaxed almost immediately, “Cool.” They stared back at one another for awhile, the brunette half inside her apartment clutching a box of fishy smelling food - probably shrimp - and Crystal clutching the strap of her worn backpack slung on her shoulder.
“Well, I’ll get going now, got-“ The brunette awkwardly lifted the takeout box “-shrimp to eat.”
“Oh, yeah of course.” Crystal bowed her head politely, awkwardly shrugging her shoulders, “I’ve got a thesis to write, so.”
They exchanged one last glance, before Gigi shut her door and the redhead let out an audible sigh, returning to her own room and lighting some incense to drown out the salt water scent.
***
The next time she encountered Gigi, was at the small convenience store two buildings down from the cheap apartments, two minutes before closing at ten pm on a Tuesday.
Crystal didn’t have a reliable schedule, the owner of the store knew this, many times in the past staying open well after closing just for the poor graduate student to get some groceries so she could eat something other than instant noodles that week. Looking back, she really should’ve paid the extra thousand for the other apartment with the cramped bathroom because what she needs is a kitchen that has more than a sink, fridge, and counter space for a microwave.
Gigi locked eyes with the redhead from opposite ends of the frozen produce aisle, both visibly tensing. Crystal knew the reason she did is because she wore a oversized green hoodie and baby blue shorts that covered maybe a third of her thighs, feet protected by obnoxious pink crocs. Her hair is definitely not combed and the back is sticking up in her reflection in the freezer glass, eyes squinting unflatteringly because she’d decided against contacts and lenses.
Basically she looked horrible and her neighbor was illegally good looking for this time of night.
The taller woman averted her eyes into Gigi’s basket, quickly tucked behind her jeans before she can get a proper look. Maybe she’s embarrassed about a purchase, which was ridiculous since Crystal was carrying a comical amount of cabbage - on sale - and as luck would have it, shrimp - also on sale. Among other notable items there’s deodorant and toothpaste, the cheapest one, which happened to be melon flavored. 
Gigi’s items couldn’t be that bad, not that she especially cared, approaching cheerily with the most enthusiastic “Gigi!” She could muster.
Gigi smiled back, a little forced. Crystal wondered if she’s the type to hold her tongue when someone is bothering her to much, also wondering if maybe that’s exactly what she’s doing right now. “How are you?” She asked politely, not exactly feigning interest as she turned her attention to the basket half obstructed by the other’s body.
“Just shopping,” Gigi replied, chuckling and shifting so her basket was even more hidden, “haven’t had much time lately with all my classes.”
“I know what you mean,” Crystal sighed out of understanding, giving up taking a peak at the mystery contents of the brunettes basket, “I haven’t gotten to a store in two weeks.”
“Oh, that’s sad.” Her neighbour chuckled, anxiously shifting from foot to foot, “Well, the store should be closing soon so I’m gonna,” Gigi motioned past her, awkwardly beginning to sidestep with her basket still concealed, but turning as she walked so it couldn’t be seen.
“Oh yeah, gotta hurry myself,” Crystal shook her own basket, returning a nervous smile and starting to awkwardly make her exit, “see you around neighbor!”
Gigi nodded, smile stretched stiffy across her face, walking backwards to conceal her basket behind her long pale legs. Man, Crystal was really curious about what exactly she’s buying that she wanted to hide so much. The redhead kept walking, plucking a popsicle from one freezer, and then ducking around the aisle to wait for Gigi to finally turn back around. Once she saw a relieved sigh huffed from the pretty neighbor’s lips, turning around and relaxing her grin, Crystal snuck a picture with her cellphone, quickly zooming into the contents of the basket.
And it’s just—lotion.
For the first few seconds zoomed in on the familiar looking bottles of moisturizing lotions and creams, Crystal was very confused. Very lost.
Why would the brunette need that much? There was no way that that was all that was in there but moving the zoomed in area around didn’t reveal any other contents beside foundation and a protein bar that tastes like sand in your mouth in her experienced opinion.
Was that why her skin was so smooth? She literally bathed in lotions and moisturisers?
Crystal shook her head at the ridiculous thoughts, especially the one of Gigi in a bathtub, flailing limbs sticking out of a thick cream of white and off-white lotions, rubbing it into said limbs as she closed her eyes in lotion-ey bliss. The redhead needed more sleep, she realized, waiting until Gigi left to purchase her items and lag a bit behind so she didn’t try to strike up more conversation and say something stupid or flirty.
*** 
She lay in bed - her mattress on the floor stacked high with blankets because her old bed frame broke - staring at the ceiling, laptop set aside as she pondered.
What was Crystal pondering?
It should’ve been her thesis, due date looming ever so close as she spent more moments like this not working on it.
No, the graduate student thought about how much she wanted to make an actual meal. How much she missed eating more than icecream and salad every night. Crystal couldn’t even afford to get chicken delivered, or even go pick it up herself. Her kitchen was tucked beside her bathroom, no microwave, and cabbage gets really old after two weeks of nothing but cabbage and the occasional piece of shrimp. The scent of saltwater wafted to her nose as it usually did, the redhead starting to relate the scent to the arrival of her neighbour as it and the aroma of seafood - specifically shrimp? - always seemed to fill the hallway when Gigi was around. No one had complained yet, but really that could be because Nicky from across the hall was weak to Gigi’s looks just like Crystal, or that Jan on the other side of the apartment burned sandalwood incense 24/7 which was quite permeating like the sea scent as well.
The redhead lamented how pretty her brunette neighbor was, ignoring the ever growing hole in her stomach of not focusing on her work to instead consider how if only she came and went from her apartment at normal times she could maybe have a proper neighbourly conversation with Gigi about, well, something that neighbours normally talk about. But no, she had better things to do, like not work on her thesis. Her thesis on what jellyfish stings can power, which was quite an interesting topic if you thought about it.
She heard a loud thud from next door, jumping slightly at the unexpected noise. It wasn’t the sound of the door shutting, no, it was the sound of something hitting the ground, heavy.
Crystal lifted her head, looking over at the wall she shared with Gigi and furrowing her brows. She herself was definitely clumsy, but her neighbor, her seemingly always put together, not a strand of hair left uncombed neighbour, I drink strawberry tea and go running for fun neighbour, had dropped something that heavy on accident?
She waited, the hum of her fridge loud in the silent apartment, until she heard a muffled ‘shit’ followed by the sound of bottles clattering to the floor.
Honestly she didn’t know why, but she hopped to her feet, red hair bouncing behind her as she exited her apartment and knocked loudly on the shorter woman’s door, calling “Gigi?”
A muffled voice murmured something through the door quietly, Crystal suddenly thinking maybe it’d have been better if she’d knocked through the wall. But the thought that maybe Gigi had fell and hurt herself overpowered her so she tentatively twisted the door handle, elated to find that it was unlocked.
The smell of seaweed and oceans swarmed her as soon as she entered the apartment hesitantly, footsteps slicing through the otherwise silent hallway. “Are you okay? It’s just me, your neighbour!”
It was the same exact apartment Crystal owned, if only reversed and the walls being painted an off white colour compared to her own mint green, so she moved with shy certainty to where Gigi presumably hid behind the bathroom door.
“I-I’m alright,” The brunette called frantically, voice unsteady and breathy. “I just lost my footing, you didn’t need to come over.”
Crystal ignored her, placing a hand on the bathroom door handle getting ready to open it after she responded, “I’m sorry, I was worried you might’ve hit your head.” She paused, debating whether her next words might come off to strong. “Can I come in?”
“Uh-“ Gigi seemed to knock over more bottles in response, the sound causing Crystal to fuck it, pull the door fully open so she could see just what was happening.
The bathtub was full of water, spilling onto the tiled floor, pink coloured bubbles consuming the tub. The familiar bottles of lotion and moisturizers she recognised from the sneakily taken photo are scattered on the floor, and Crystal’s eyes focused on the center of the room. Gigi was naked, but that seemed quite unimportant compared to the fact that her pale skin - the redhead remembers it being smooth and glowing - was bumpy, textured, overlapping?
It reminded her of fish scales.
Fish scales.
Fish, gills, long slits in the skin stretched across her ribs, opening and closing with each huff of Gigi’s chest.
Crystal knew her jaw had bid goodbye to her skull, hanging open as she stared wide eyed back into similar shocked blue eyes. They were both silent, the slosh of water over the side of the tub making loud splatting sounds with each wave of overflow.
“You’re a,” Crystal wasn’t really sure what, but “fish?” Is what comes out.
Gigi’s eyes scrunched immediately, a look of shock quickly subsiding into disbelief. “Excuse me?”
“You’re a fish?” Crystal repeated, wearing disbelief as well but of a different cloth.
“I—no,” The brunette sputtered, shaking her head, “what?”
“You,” She raised a hand to motion at the gills and scales, “what are those?”
Her neighbor kept her mouth shut, obviously trying to find the words, or maybe a believable excuse, but soon the time is passing to make an excuse for what Crystal can’t pass off as a dream the longer she sees it.
“I’m a - uh - a fish person? Not a fish,” She began, quickly shutting down anymore fish thoughts, “whatever you call us.”
Crystal felt like her jaw might actually detach and fall to the floor. “You’re a mermaid?” She managed to breath out, barely audible.
“Yes.” The fish woman calmly replied, holding her gaze. It’s then that Crystal looked down at the long, scaled legs supporting Gigi’s body, eyebrows knitting together in confusion.
“But why don’t you have a tail?” She questioned, motioning at the other’s lower half.
“I should have a tail, but obviously there’s not enough water for that to happen right now.” Gigi scoffed, narrowing her eyes as though Crystal was the weird one, “Some have legs or fish heads, both, or neither, or it could depend on natural stuff,” she pointed to herself.
The redhead blinked a few times, turning to glance at her own, very not fishlike reflection in the mirror, before stepping out and shutting the bathroom door.
A moment passed, Crystal standing silently behind the barrier in Gigi’s living room. She took a deep breath, convincing herself that maybe the cabbage she had eaten beforehand was rotten and she was hallucinating, and then -
The door opened back up and she stepped through, looking her neighbor up and down again scrutinizingly. She still sat very much fishlike in the pink bubbles, scales glistening in the water. Shit.
“I don’t believe you,” She finally concluded, “you’re just,” Crystal pursed her lips in thought, nose twitching, “good at special effects makeup.”
Gigi rolled her eyes, giving a death stare at the taller woman. She grabbed a towel from the rack on the wall beside her, emerging from the bubble bath and wrapping it around her exposed body hastily, reminding Crystal that she herself was the one who had stormed in on a naked unsuspecting fish person.
A fish person.
“Sorry to burst your bubble,” Gigi adjusted the towel slightly, getting it comfortably around her hips and then itching around a gill, “but I’m the real thing.”
Crystal laughed disingenuously through a frown. “Oh, you’re so funny.”
“This isn’t a joke,” The fish - no, her neighbour, deadpanned.
“Oh you,” The redhead chuckled, slowly shutting the door as she backed away, “be careful and enjoy your bath!”
The door clicked shut again.
And Crystal promptly returned home to stare up at her ceiling instead of work on her thesis, head positively swarming with reasonable explanations as to what the fuck just happened in her pretty neighbours bathroom. She could hardly breathe, practically choking with the knowledge that holy fuck, actual mermaids existed. 
It wasn’t long after she’d sat there on her mattress that there was an incessant knocking at her door, and Crystal knew - barely a few minutes had passed - that it was her neighbour. A small glimmer of hope that it was all a dream filled her as she stumbled to her feet and tugged open the door in between the succession of knocks. Of course that hope wad crushed when she saw the peek of grey-blue scales from under the lilac sweater Gigi had thrown on, around the ankles exposed by the grey sweatpants, gold shimmer catching in the flickering hallway lights. Her long dark hair was still wet, much like the first two times they’d met, drops hitting the floor gently.
“Can I come in?” The mermaid - there was no point in denying it anymore - asked, eyes wandering down the hall nervously - probably because her scales was on display.
Crystal wondered how she could show so much skin all the other times without those slightly darker pigmented scales being as apparent as they were now. She realised that she hadn’t replied when Gigi impatiently entered, hand on the redheads shoulder pushing her back into her apartment and closing the door with the other.
“Sorry, I just,” She shifted uncomfortably, “don’t want to be seen, again.”
“No uh,” Crystal felt apologetic now, seeing Gigi’s nervous stance, making her wait anxiously in the hall, “I’m sorry too.”
It fell terribly silent, not for lack of words, but lack of where to start. Gigi was obviously there for a reason, and Crystal definitely had some minor questions.
Finally - “You can’t tell anyone,” The brunette asserted, sharp eyes narrowed seriously although she picked up a twinge of uncertainty behind them.
“That’s a given,” Crystal nodded, scratching her neck awkwardly, “I don’t know if anyone would even believe me if I wanted or did tell them, so..”
The sigh her neighbour let out then is relieved, as much as it could be in the face of her secret being revealed. Crystal wasn’t sure of the full extent of said secret, but that’s probably for the best.
“What exactly does being a fish person mean,” The tan woman asked, “for you? And me, I guess?”
The brunette stared bullets into her, expressionless for a second, before her eyes narrowed in suspicion. “Why?”
She shrugged, shifting awkwardly, “Cause I’m curious?”
“Why?” Gigi repeated.
“Cause you’re Interesting?” Crystal regretted making it sounding like a question.
“I’m interesting? Because I’m a fish person?” The fish person scoffed, scratching impulsively at the scales shining near her clavicles.
“Wouldn’t you be interested if I was like,” Crystal tried to think of a strange animal, “a donkey person?” Wolf person, werewolf. She could’ve gone with werewolf.
Gigi looked utterly caught off guard, staring at the redheads face for a long moment. Crystal watched the exact moment her eyes begin to crinkle, cheeks bunching, and her pink lips parted to release a breathy laugh. It’s not what she’d expected at all, but quite welcome after the slew of things that just happened. Gigi looked pretty cute when she laughed, even if it was teasingly directed at her.
“If you must know,” The younger calmed down, taking a few breaths in and out to stop her snickers, “mermaids are mostly the upper body of a human and the lower of a fish. In my case, the tail only comes out when my legs are surrounded by a lot of water, if that makes sense.”
The redhead hummed, “So there’s like different species of mermaid then?”
“I guess?” Gigi giggled with a shrug, “Most of us have human features but ocean attributes, its rarer for the whole tail and normal head thing.”
“Wait then,” She paused, brief image of a mermaid lying seductively on a rock coming to mind, except this time it’s a fish with legs which caused her to snort with a grin, “not all fish people are actually the maneating beauties they’re said to be?”
Gigi snorted herself - admittedly much more attractively than Crystal had - shaking her head, “Of course they aren’t, that’s why mermaids are a myth.”
“And they actually live among us, eating lots of shrimp?” Crystal asked with wide eyes, suddenly wondering just how many mermaids she might’ve met in her lifetime.
The other paused, meeting her eyes once more. “Look,” she started, “you can’t take pictures underwater. Cameras and the ocean don’t mix, trust me I tried.”
“Waterproof cameras,” She deadpanned.
“They’re expensive, how long do you think it took me to save up for this apartment?” Gigi retorted, picking at her manicured nails that shimmered under deep green polish.
“Probably would’ve been faster to just save up for a waterproof camera,” Crystal hummed in return.
The mermaid huffed, rolling her eyes, “Land is way more interesting than sea.”
“Oh,” The taller perked up in curiosity, “so you’re, like, sticking around?”
Gigi grinned, “For now, thinking of becoming a photographer, you know.”
“Cool.”
A silent moment passed before Gigi seemingly remembered why she even came over, shifting back towards the door. “Anyway, uh, thank you for your silence,” she dipped her head politely, some dark brown strands of hair falling around her face. “I’ll be,” she pointed at the door, other hand wrapping around the handle, “on my way.”
“Oh uh,” Crystal reached out, pulling her hand off the door gently, “wait, would you like to, maybe, go somewhere sometime? Together?”
Gigi looked back at her with a confused frown, hand tensing in the taller woman’s grip. “Why?”
The redhead sighed, rolling her eyes, “Why else?”
“What do you mean ‘why else’?”
For a second Crystal thought Gigi was messing with her, but by the way she waited patiently for an answer she  knew she really didn’t have a clue. And honestly at this point the redhead was grateful for that, deciding not to spell it out.
“When are you next free?” She asked.
The mermaid quirked a brow in even more curiosity, “Thursday, why?”
“Okay, on Thursday I’m gonna come and get you and we’re going to go eat somewhere together,” Crystal announced, voice shaking slightly.
“Okay?” Gigi replied without missing a beat, hesitantly opening the door, “Goodbye?”
“Yep, see you Thursday!” Crystal waved, shooing her out.
The other watched her curiously all the way out the door until she shut it with finality. Alone once more, she inhaled a deep breath and let it out loudly, ringing her hands together as she tried desperately to clear her mind.
It was then that her door suddenly opened back up, startling Crystal into turning around meeting Gigi’s eyes with a gaping mouth.
“Is it gonna be a date?” She questioned, cheeks a little flushed, scales still visible.
“Y-yes” She admitted, fiddling with the hem of her shirt.
Another second, and then Gigi turned and left once more with a quick “Wear something warm, it might be cold. Also I’m not paying.”
It seemed as though Crystal did have a date this Thursday. With a fish person. And she felt strangely okay with that.
73 notes · View notes
endless-whump · 4 years
Text
Simon/Oliver: Broken
CW: triggered whumpee, food trigger, referenced emeto, references to box boy whump, creepy whumper, ptsd, self blaming, self deprecating thoughts, panic attack, conditioning
Masterlist
y'all getting TWO WHOLE FICS TONIGHT 
Note: Takes place right before Trust, a crossover between Simon/Oliver and Marcus/Luca
----
Broken
That's the best word Oliver could seem to come up with to describe himself.  Even after he was home, he was safe, he was confident Simon wasn’t leaving him, he couldn’t stop himself from cracking and crumbling into a million pieces, unable to let himself surface.  
He felt like he was drowning, falling into depths he couldn’t even see, unable to reach out and grasp hold of anything for support.  He could barely close his eyes without seeing him, seeing sir.  
He felt sick whenever they tried to get him to take the medicine, images burned into his mind of men holding him down and forcing him to take pills, keeping him docile when Cedric wanted to bring him out for some fun.  They made him barely cogerient, and by the time they put him back in the dark room he didn’t even remember leaving in the first place.  Maybe it was better that way, though.  Maybe it was best if he didn’t remember what happened outside that room.
He clung to Simon whenever he could, glued to his side in fear of being pulled away.  He never, never wanted to be pulled away like that again.  He didn’t even care if Simon hurt him again.  As long as he didn’t have to go back.
Simon seemed to accept it, and seemed to be comfortable with Oliver becoming his shadow again after that night they confronted in the hallway.  Everyone in the house seemed to come to a silent agreement that they wouldn’t talk about Simon's outburst, or anything spoken that night, and Oliver was completely ok with that.
“Peach or lemon?”  Simon asked softly, metal spoon clinking against the mug on the counter.
Oliver stood by his side, a thin finger hooked on Simon's shirt as they stood in the kitchen.  It was early, Oliver had woken up with nightmares again.  Simon had brought him downstairs as quietly as he could, murmuring reassurances and moving to make him something that would calm him down.
“Lemon.”  He replied softly, resting his head against the other's shoulder.  Simon hummed in acknowledgment, grabbing the box and rummaging through it for the right kind, and Oliver couldn’t help but notice his hands shaking.
“I’ll take care of it.”  Marie offered softly, moving to take the mug from Simons shaking hands. Oliver hadn’t even noticed her in the kitchen, flinching a little at the sudden voice beside them.
Simon didn’t even argue, letting her pry the mug away from him. He was tired too, and they all knew it. Oliver felt guilt twist inside him at the thought, knowing he was the cause.
Simon muttered his thanks, guiding Oliver to sit at the table with him, resting his forehead on his arms crossed on the table.  Oliver watched him intently, fingers tapping at his leg nervously. Simon was spending all his time taking care of him, staying up when he couldn’t sleep, there when he woke up yelling.  He was always there, and Oliver was starting to wonder if that was a good thing.
He reached a hand out hesitantly, setting it on Simon's arm. He startled a little, blinking as he looked up, worried.
“Sorry- did you need something, Ollie?”
Oliver retracted his hand immediately, face falling.  He felt like he was shriveling up, cracked pieces falling from where he’d clumsily tried to put them back together.
“I..no..no sorry, was trying to..nevermind, sorry.”
He was trying to be comforting.
Instead he just bothered Simon more.  Maybe it would be best if he just didn’t try at all.
If Simon noticed anything wrong he didn’t mention it, dropping his head back down in his arms.  Oliver bit his lip, resolving to leave him alone.  He needed the rest and the break from taking care of him.
“Here you go, Oliver.”  Marie said kindly, setting the finished mug in front of him.  “Make sure you and Simon have something to eat later, I’m going back to bed.”   He blinked, looking up at her and forcing a small smile.
“Thanks.”  he murmured, picking it up and bringing it to his lips to sip at it as she ruffled his hair, making her way back towards the stairs with a yawn.  It was warm, the sweet tanginess of lemon flavor being the first thing to hit him.  The second thing to hit him almost made him gag.
Oliver froze, stomach twisting as the taste hit him, disgust and terror seizing him and making him go still.
Honey.
She’d put honey in it.
Simon knew not to put honey in it, he knew- but Simon hadn’t made it.  Marie did.  Marie didn’t know.
His hands shook slightly as his eyes went blank, breaths coming in quiet, pained gasps.
He wasn’t with sir, he tried reminding himself, failing.  He could almost still feel the hand on the back of his neck, sliding across his throat and up to tilt his chin, delicate china forced to his lips.  He could feel the hand on his leg, the collar tightened around his throat, the pleased hum right next to his ear.
He wanted nothing more than to hurl the mug across the room, watch it shatter against the wall.  He wanted it as far away from him as possible, wanted to disobey, to say no.
He knew he couldn’t, though.  He couldn’t force himself to throw the mug even if it was what he wanted most in this god forsaken world.  He couldn’t, he couldn’t, unable to even bring it away from his lips or even make a sound, Simon falling asleep next to him, oblivious.
There was only one thing he coulddo in that moment, and that was obey.
So he drank the whole thing.
He drank it silently, tears running down his face as he tried to hold back sobs, using two hands to make sure he didn’t drop the mug as it shook in his hands.  He drank the entire fucking thing, and then stumbled to the bathroom to throw it all up.
---
Simon groaned, looking up from where he’d dozed off at the table.  How long had he been asleep?  It was lighter outside, sunlight illuminating the kitchen through the blinds on the windows.
The first thing he noticed was that Oliver was gone.  His brain seemed to be processing everything too slowly, it taking a second to even register that the younger boy wasn’t next to him.
He stood quickly, blinking away the remaining sleep and scanning the room.  Oliver’s mug of tea was at the table where he’d been sitting, empty.  The kitchen was quiet, no sign of him anywhere. Simon was moving past the counter to check the living room when he spotted the small, plastic container of honey next to the box of tea packets, and his heart sank.
“Ollie?”
He went straight to the bathroom, testing the handle and thankfully finding it unlocked.  He gently pushed the door open, being met with exactly what he was expecting. Oliver was hunched over, shaking with sobs as he pressed his forehead against the edge of the bathtub.
He felt guilty as he moved to crouch beside him, setting a hand carefully on his back.  He should have been paying attention, he let Marie make the tea without it even crossing his mind to let her know.
Oliver flinched away, curling in on himself at the touch and close to hyperventilating.
“Hey, it's me.”  Simon soothed.  “I’m so sorry, Oliver.  I was tired and got careless-”
“I,I,I’m sorry.” Oliver choked out, surprising Simon. “M,Msorry for waking you up, I, I’m sorry..”
Simon blinked, brow furrowing in confusion. He grabbed a washcloth and wet it in the sink, wiping the sweat from his forehead and setting it around the back of his neck to soothe him.
“Ollie, you didn’t do anything wrong- here, let's get you to the couch.”
Oliver braced himself against the side of the tub and tried to stand but Simon didn’t let him, knowing better than to let him try to walk and end up passing out after working himself up this bad.  He picked him up as carefully as he could, the boy light enough to be carried with ease even in Simon’s tired state.
“N,No-”  He protested weakly, shaking his head even as his eyes struggled to stay open. “You..you were asleep, didn’t mean to, to wake you up..mfine..”
Simon sighed, holding him close as he walked to the living room.  There were two new rescues curled up on the armchair together, sound asleep.  Mia and Marie had picked them up over an hour away, something about the police being involved.  He couldn’t imagine how, the two looking so young.  
“You didn’t wake me up, I did on my own.  Didn’t even hear you until I went looking.”  Simon reassured.  He grabbed a water bottle, sitting down on the couch and offering it to him.  “Drink some, you’ll feel better.  Promise.”
Oliver took the water without question, shakily opening it and lifting it to his lips, drinking desperately.  He looked pale, and Simon didn’t have to think hard about it to guess he’d gotten sick.  He finally handed it back once it was half empty, and Simon set it aside.
“Look, if you’re worried about me getting sleep, we can go right back to sleep here.”
He laid down on his back, settling Oliver on top of him as he pulled a large blanket over the both of them.  He rubbed circles against his back comfortingly, coaxing him to relax, head resting by his collarbone.
“Just let yourself calm down, ok?  You’re right here, you’re safe.”
The last thing Simon needed was Oliver working himself up over him of all things.  He didn’t deserve that kind of guilt for being taken care of.
“You deserve to feel safe, Oliver.”  He hummed, staring up at the ceiling.  “You deserve to be taken care of.  You’re not a burden to take care of.”
He wasn’t sure if the words meant anything, but he needed to say them.  He needed Oliver to know he wasn’t a burden.
“I’m ok, Oliver.  I get tired sometimes, but that's not your fault.  None of this is your fault.”
He ran his fingers through Oliver’s hair, feeling tears soaking through his shirt but not commenting on it.  He was very, very familiar with the kind of guilt weighing down on you when you felt weak, when you felt like you were just dragging people down.  The kind of guilt that made you suffer in silence, a scream for help never being allowed to reach your lips as you try to make yourself as unnoticeable as possible.
Oliver was the last person on earth who deserved that.
Simon pressed a kiss to his dark hair, repeating it over and over.
“You deserve to feel loved,”
After months of darkness and pain and fear, that's all he deserved
“You deserve to feel safe and protected,”
After he failed Oliver again and again and again, Simon owed that to him
“You aren’t bothering me,”
Never.  He’d go to the moon and back for him
“I love you so, so much, Ollie, and you deserve every bit of it.”
Every single bit, and he meant it with everything he had
----
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sebsallowapologist · 4 years
Text
Pothos: 3
Thank you to everyone who continues to read and share what they think! Everyone enjoying it really makes me want to write more and more. 
Enjoy!
***
“So should I leave?” He asks and the blood drains out of my face. Surely I wasn’t strong enough to will him back if he decided to really leave again. “Why?” I choke out and the teasing smile stays plastered on his face, but behind the eyes he looks tortured, like he’s in pain.
“Traditionally a gentleman comes by to pick up his date for dinner, leaving her time to get ready. If I'm not mistaken, I am pretty rusty at this. Perhaps times have changed?” He asks and I bite my lip. “I don’t go on many dates, so I wouldn’t know. And we have so much catching up to do and it’s still early.” I breathe and he nods, leaning back in my dining room chair. How was my $12 Ikea plastic chair keeping this Greek god up?
“You’re right, we do have lots to talk about. So do you enjoy your job?” He asks with a smile and I shake my head. “You don’t?”
“No, I do. But don’t you think I deserve to go first, questions wise?” I ask and Edward’s lips become a tight line. “Ah. Yes, what are you curious about?”
“What have you been doing the past... seven years?” I asked. “Where did you go when you left?”
“I haven’t settled down anywhere. I spent some time in the South, then South America. All over.” He explains and I sigh, not the answer I was looking for. “What were you doing in all those places? Anything important?” I ask, when I really want to know if whatever he was doing was worth ripping me to shreds.
He doesn’t answer and I roll my eyes, moving to stand up from the table. I didn’t wait 7 years to be lied to, or have things hidden from me. “No. Don’t.” He says and lighty places his cool hand on top of mine. It feels like fire ran up my arm and I was waiting for a burn that didn’t come.
I sit back in my chair and he takes my hand in his, playing with my fingers, refusing to look up at me. “I was hunting- not for food but- I was hunting Victoria.”
“Victoria? As in James’ Victoria?” I ask and he nods, turning my hand over to look at the scar that James gave me, the scar I’d become so attached to. Proof of a world that had disappeared. “She did not take it well when I had to kill James, I read that in her mind and I was never sure- but I had to be certain she wasn’t coming after you.”
“Did you find her?” I ask and he shakes his head, chuckling. “Turns out I am a horrible tracker.” I doubt that. He wasn’t horrible at anything.
“So where is Carlisle? And Esme? Were they with you?” I ask and he shakes his head no, still playing with my fingers. “They’re in New York, upstate but close enough to the city for Carlisle to work at a major hospital. He loves the intensity. Esme loves the museums and Alice is going to FID.” He smiles and I nod. Yes. The forever young repeating high school and college over and over and over again.
“They miss you.” He tells me and I nod sadly, “I miss them too.” I missed being 17, I missed my old life with all of them in it. I missed being taken care of. “Why are you sad? Is your head alright?” He asks and I nod. “Yeah- Yeah I’m just- reminiscing I guess.” I sigh and finish my water.
“May I ask you some questions now?”
“Sure.” I give in, I was too overwhelmed. I couldn’t figure out which question I wanted to ask next.
“Why Los Angeles? Because it’s warm?” He asks and I nod. “Yeah, warm. Big city. I like the distractions.” I answer and he nods. “Do you like your job?” He asks and I blush. It was like him asking if I liked his gift.
“I like my job. Well I like writing, answering to people isn’t as fun but it pays the bills and I could be doing a lot worse.” I smile and he laughs a little. “My parents get your magazine sent to the house. They’re very proud of you.”
My breath catches in my throat. “They are?” Didn’t they know they’re the ones that bought me the job, bought my education too.
“Of course.” He breaths, trying to sound as soothing as possible. “Aren’t Charlie and Renee?” He asks and I nod. “Yeah of course they just don’t- know.” Don’t know that I never earned that job- never earned anything I’ve had myself.
“I’m proud of you too.” He says and I scoff a little, my eyes pricking with tears. “Don’t cry.” He begs and stands up from the table very slowly. He grabs my side and lifts me off the chair, giving me all the time in the world to tell him no as he sets me in his lap.
It’s cold and hard, and it should be uncomfortable, but he molds his body around mine to fit me perfectly. “Why does that make you sad?”
A lot of reasons, I was sad because until today I guess that he never thought about me, or thought about me much. I was sad because he didn’t seem to realize that his gifts, the things that made me a successful person, brought me so much pain. Pain in that I never earned them. Guilt because I was taking them from someone who so badly deserved it.
“I was really hoping that something had changed, and that I’d be able to read your mind now. I should have known better.” He smiles and I laugh a little, it’s horse and broken. “Thank god you can’t read my mind.” I smile and he smiles back at me, “I do wish you’d tell me what you’re thinking.” He begs and I bite my lip.
If he knew how ungrateful I was for what he’d done for me- he’d leave again. Who wouldn’t?
“Tell me what you’re thinking first.” That would buy me enough time to think of something else to say.
“What I’m thinking? Well I’m thinking a lot. I haven’t felt this whole in years- so I’m celebrating that. You’ve somehow gotten more beautiful. I didn’t know that was possible.” He smiles and I feel the blood rush to my face. “Ah- even more so. You might be out of my league now.” he smiles and brushes his hand over my cheek. “I got old.” I mumble and he shakes his head.
“You’re 25, that is very far from old.”
“I’m older than Carlisle.” I remind him and Edward rolls his eyes. “No you’re not.”
I laugh a little and use some courage to brush his hair out of his face. “Now what are you thinking?”
“I’m just overwhelmed.” I sigh, which wasn’t a lie. “I’m so- I haven’t been this happy in a very long time. But I’m scared, I'm hurt. I’m a little mad. But I don’t even know if this is all real. It’s truly a lot for my little human brain.” I joke. I catch another cringe. God I hated seeing him so hurt over what’s become of me.
“Would you like to yell at me? Perhaps beat me up a little?” He asks, trying to keep it light.
“Ha! Well I have been taking boxing lessons.” I tell him and he looks surprised. “You have?”
“Mmhm. Charlie got real nervous when I went to UCLA and he begged. I did it to make him happy but I figured out that I really like punching things.” I smile.
Turns out, this is the funniest thing that Edward’s ever heard. He lets out a bellowing laugh and holds me tight as he curls over a little. “What!?” I ask and he shakes his head, trying to stop laughing. “It’s just- I can’t picture it.”
“Hey!” I huff a little offended. “I don’t have super human strength, excuse me, but I could hold my own.”
“I’d like to see that.” Edward smiles. I giggle a little at him. That settles and he taps my outer thigh with his hand. “So what would you like to eat tonight?”
“There's this Taco place that's really good around the block.” I tell him and he shakes his head. “No, I would like to take you somewhere nice. Alice sent me here with a suit. I think I have to use it.”
I roll my eyes at my former best friend. Sent him with a suit. Stupid “Well it’s Saturday. Anywhere good is going to be booked up.” I tell him and he shakes his head. “That's not a problem, where would you like to eat?”
Oh he thinks he can just take me anywhere? This was LA this wasn’t Forks. He couldn’t possibly just get a table wherever. “The Nice Guy.” I smile. A little challenge.
“Wonderful. What type of food is that?”
“Italian.” I laugh and he smiles. “Everything comes full circle doesn’t it?” It really did. “I should be going, I have to go get that suit and I should give my date time to get ready.”
My color leaves my face again. “You don’t have to do that. You can stay.”
“Bella.” He breathes and stands us up, placing his hand on my face. “I promise I’m coming back.”
“What if you don’t?” I ask. Because, god. What if this was just a wellness check? I couldn’t handle that. “Bella.” He makes my name sound like honey. “I came back because I couldn’t live another day without you in my life. I promise I am coming back.”
I guess if he did he did- and if he didn’t he didn’t- and I was going to have to deal with it either way. “Alright.” I sigh. He leans forward and places his cool lips on my forehead. “I’ll be back at 8:00, my Bella.” And just like that, he’s gone.
***
If Edward was going to come back, I was going to give him something that made him want to keep coming back. I was no longer the pubescent teenage girl I was when I knew him. I was older now, for better or for worse. I had a few gray hairs that most humans couldn’t see- but I’m sure he saw them, and I had a small wrinkle on the right side of my mouth.  
But I had curves now, and I finally knew how to dress. Alice would be so proud at my small but well thought out closet. I got rid of the idea that dressing nicely and wearing make up was a sign of weakness and had fun with it.
I had one nice dress- my close the deal dress. Black with thin straps, it went to just above my knees but it hugged every curve I had. I kept the hair and make up simple, doing what I knew how, curl my hair and do some basic make up. Tonight wasn’t the night to try something new.
At 7:45 there was a knock at my door and my heart jumped into my throat. Oh thank god. I slip my black heels on. “Coming!” I rush to the door, throwing it open without bothering to look at the peephole. The anxiety I’d felt since he left melts away and I’m just standing in awe of him, of all his glory as he stands in my doorway holding a dozen roses.
“I said you didn’t have to get me flowers.” I laugh and he shakes his head. “I’m speechless.” He breathes and I smile. “Speechless, huh?” Never heard him speechless before, that's for damn sure.
“You look-” He just blinks. “There's not a word in any language I know that properly describes how you look.” he says and I shrug. “Good I hope?”
He scoffs, “Good doesn’t even begin to describe it.” I blush and take the flowers from him, walking to my kitchen to put them in some water.
Once I’m done with that I grab my phone and my purse and smile. “Should I call an uber?” I ask and he shakes his head, “I came prepared.” I hold my hands up in defeat. “Alright, let’s go to The Nice Guy with no reservation.” I tease.
“We have a reservation.”
“You’re- wild.” I laugh and follow him out the door. I turn around to lock up and when I look back up Edward’s standing on the curb, holding the door open to a very fancy car. “You know this is a city, people have eyes around here.” I warn and walk to the car. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.” He smiles and holds out his hand to help me into the car.
An Aston Martin. Wow. He’s in the driver’s seat before I can finish a thought about the impressive car.
I didn’t forget what an insane drive Edward was, but I think my memories had dulled the intensity of it. We weaved in and out of cars on the busy street and I start to rethink honking at every douchebag who’d ever cut me off in an expensive car. Were they vampires too or just stupid humans?
I grab the door and Edward laughs a little. “I forgot you drive like we’re 30 minutes late for something.” I breathe and he smiles. “We’re not late, I just don’t like wasting time.”
“Wasting time with things like speed limits and red lights. Got it.” I breathe and he chuckles, “You’re so funny.”I want to tell him to look at the road but I know it would fall on deaf ears.
We make it to the valet at the restaurant and the man opens the door for me while Edward walks around the car at a human pace. He walks up to the hostess and smiles. “Cullen.” He tells her and she nods, looking him up and down. I was having insane flashbacks, but at least this time I knew I was hotter than the hostess at the front stand. So at least we were off to a better start self-esteem wise.
She leads us to a table near the back and Edward makes a show about pulling my chair out for me. I had only been on a few dates in my life, but of course Edward blew them all out of the water. He picks up the menu and I giggle a little bit, “What?” He asks and I shake my head. “Nothing. What looks good?” I ask and he shrugs. “I was looking over the wine list, what were you thinking about ordering for your meal? We can get a bottle that pairs well.”
“We do not need to order a bottle of wine.” I laugh. “I can order a glass.”
“Why not?”
“Because I don’t like to get fall down drunk when I go on dates with an ex-boyfriend, and I assume you won’t be drinking with me.” I smile and he nods. “A glass or two it is.” He smiles “You know I’ve been drunk before.” He smiles, proud of himself and I gasp, “Edward Cullen? Drunk?”
“Yes. My seventeenth birthday I stole some of my father’s whiskey. I can’t say I remember much else.” He chuckles and I smile. “I can’t picture it.” I shake my head and he nods. “Did you smoke pot in the 70s too?” I ask and he shakes his head no with a laugh.
I liked keeping it light, we had so much to talk about but I knew all the heavy topics were going to do nothing but hurt me, so while I could I was going to stay in the light.
The waitress comes by and asks for our order. “I’ll take the chicken with a glass of the beaujolais.” I smile and hand her my menu. “I will do the mushroom ravioli with a glass of the same.” He says with a smirk in my direction and she nods, writing it down, taking our menus.
“Aren’t you supposed to drink white wine with chicken?” He asks and I roll my eyes. “Aren’t you supposed to drink blood?” I counter and he nods with pursed lips. “Touché, but the pasta is for you, I couldn’t not order something, it would be rude.”
“So rude.” I tease and he chuckles a little.
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timelock97 · 5 years
Text
Time Never Stops
Chapter Fourteen: Little He or Little She
Word Count: 1638
Prologue   Ch 1   Ch 2   Ch 3   Ch 4   Ch 5 Ch 6   Ch 7   Ch 8   Ch 9   Ch 10   Ch 11   Ch 12   Ch 13
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Warning: FLUFF
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I move to look at myself in the mirror and smile at my reflection. The material of the light blue dress hugs my body perfectly, showing off the little bump. A pink ribbon is placed just above it tied in a bow. I turn to the side and smile at the bump, placing my hand on top of it as I admire the life growing inside.
"Love, are you ready for the party?" Tom walks in the room, dressed in a pair of khakis and a blush pink button up. "You look amazing, baby girl."
"You look pretty good yourself, handsome." I smile as he comes up and wrap his arms around me, pulling me toward him to place a chaste kiss to my lips.
"Our Mums shooed me upstairs to get you. Told me I had to get my pretty girl and bring her downstairs."
"Can't start the party without the guest of honor." I giggle, wrapping an arm around his neck and place one of his hands on my stomach before I pull him back into a kiss.
"No, we can't," he chuckles against my lips, pulling away to kiss my forehead. "Ready to head downstairs?"
"How does it look, before we head down?"
"They did a wonderful job. Izzy, Haley, and Mia took charge once they got here, Haz decided it was for the best." Tom chuckles, tugging me toward the door to the party below. I smile at the pink and blue streamers that were hung from the ceiling as we make our way into the living room. Tom leads me into the kitchen, where I am quickly hugged by Haley who tightens her grip on me and sways us from side to side.
"I miss you, why did you leave?" She whines playfully. I pull away from her, only for her to squeal and look at me with bright eyes, "Look at that bump! Do you have a prediction of what it is?"
"I do not, what's the popular vote?" I tease as my mom and Tom's mum come in from outside.
"Darling, you look amazing!" Nikki muses, walking over and pulling me into a hug, pressing a quick kiss to my cheek.
"Thank you, Nikki." I whisper, reaching for my mother next who hugs me tightly.
"Look at my little girl, you look beautiful." My mother coos, tucking a lock of hair behind my ear.
"You two should head outside and greet guests, we have to make sure the food is done." Nikki laughs, shooing us from the kitchen and out the back door. I smile at the fairy lights decorating along the top of the space, picnic tables dot the yard, and a photo area is attached to the right side of the fence with an abundance of baby related props. Both family and friends mingle about the yard.
"Looks like they did a good job." I smile as I lean into Tom's side, his nose grazing my temple.
"They really did, it's simple and that was all that we wanted." Tom smiles, pressing a kiss to my temple, pulling away as people walk over to greet us. I smile and pull family and friends into hugs and ask the usual 'how are you?' 'what have you been up to?' 'how was your flight?' After a few minutes I find Izzy and Logan, pulling them both into a hug.
"God, I have missed you two. How is everything? How was tour?" I ask as I pull away.
"Tour was amazing! Everyone is beyond excited for the next book, which should be out in about three months since I had already started months ago." Izzy laughs, running a hand over her arm.
"Well, this is the reason why I said to release two then do tour!" I laugh back, smiling at her proudly.
"We are, that's the plan for the next tour." Logan says, snaking an arm around his girlfriend's waist.
A pair of arms wrap around my waist making me laugh. "Did you think you could get away from me without saying hello?"
"No, Mia, you just looked busy talking with Haz I didn't want to interrupt you." I tease with a wink. Tom and I had been trying to set the two of them up, but since she was still in (Y/S) and he was here in London we didn't push the subject too hard.
"Well, he was talking to me about being in need of a roommate since Tom moved out and offered me to move in when I come out for when I study abroad in January."
"Really?" I giggle, glancing over to see Haz and Tom talking, Tom high-fiving him while Haz blushes. "Well, he is definitely a fun roommate to have, polite, loves to cook-"
"Trying to still set me up?" She teases with a raised eyebrow, "Because he has already asked me on a date."
"Damn, you weren't kidding when you said that Harrison and Mia would fit so well together," Izzy laughs.
"What can I say, we all saw it coming." I laugh, seeing that Sean, who was talking to Harry, had arrived as well as Dan and Phil. "I have to go finish greeting people, but thank you guys for today."
"It's going to be a great day." Izzy states, the three giving me a wave as I walk off to go give Sean a hug.
"There she is!" Sean says with a laugh, being careful when he pulls me into a hug. "How are you?"
"Better than I was about two months ago, little love made me sicker than a dog." I laugh half-heartedly. "I am so glad you could make it."
"Me too," he hums letting me go to take a look at me. "Look at this house!"
"I know! We really haven't done much setting up since we have plenty of time til they are here."
"That's fair. What are you going to do about videos?" Sean asks, folding his arms across his chest.
"Actually, I hired an editor that Robin recommended a week ago-"
"So you did call Alexis!" He says excitedly.
"Yup, I'm really starting to get pregnancy brain so editing doesn't go well. Can't really focus for too long, plus the further I get the worse it will be I guess, so I'd rather have someone else do it so I can focus on other things."
"That's fair, well everyone is excited to know whether what our gaming buddy is, who is going to join us the next time your in town."
"If I remember correctly the next time I'll be in town will be the charity live-stream in December. Tom is tagging along, I hope that is okay." I raise an eyebrow making him laugh.
"No," he teases back, "it's not okay. Yeah, he's good to come, the more the merrier."
"Perfect, well I have to go and mingle around more, enjoy the party!"
"You too!"
I walk away, shifting between people and getting pulled into more conversations before I can make it inside to grab something to eat, the kitchen was quiet minus the humming of the crockpots on the counter. I walk over and open each dish in turn, smelling the savory chicken, cheesy mac and cheese, taco salad, and sweet dirt pudding. A cake sat on one side of the counter, signed with the caption 'Little He or Little She?' on top. I smile and scoop a bit of mac and cheese on my plate and eat, humming at the taste in the quiet kitchen. I go to take my final bite when the door slides open, revealing Tom, who sees me taking a way too large of a bite.
He lets out a snort, "You know we are supposed to eat after the gender reveal?"
"Excuse you, who is the pregnant one here? I think I can do what I want." I sass, tossing my now empty plate in the trash.
Tom smiles, pulling me to him, "Everyone wants us to do the gender reveal, so you want to come outside with me and get started?"
"Yeah, let's go, I wanna know what are little love is going to be." I smile, taking his outstretched hand and let him lead me outside to where everyone was waiting.
"Are you two ready for the gender reveal?" Harrison asks with a laugh, Izzy walking over to his side.
"We are, what are we doing to find out what our baby is?" Tom asks, moving to wrap an arm around my waist.
"Chalk bomb," Izzy states, handing Tom a black plastic ball.
Tom smiles at me and pulls me to the side where we will have enough space for the chalk to fly. He throws his arms over his head, "ARE WE READY!" The crowd cheers loudly, making us laugh. Tom's arm wraps around my waist, smiling at me, "Ready, love?"
"Let's find out what we are having, Holland." I state, Tom's hand holding the ball raises again before he chucks it at the ground at our feet. The two of us gasp in delight as the ball breaks and pink clouds the air around us.
Tom turns and pulls me into his arms, spinning us around in a circle before setting me to my feet. "We're having a little girl, love."
"We are indeed, Tom." I tease, my arms pulling him down into a kiss.
"Please tell me someone got that on camera?" Tom calls looking at the crowd, seeing several people lift their phones, v-log cameras, and normal cameras into the air. "Okay, good," he laughs, shaking his head before looking back at me.
"First grandchild is a girl!" Nikki yells with excitement, hugging Dom as everyone walks over to congratulate us. It could not be a more perfect day, especially having so many of the most important people of our lives being there to witness with us our future.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Chapter Fifteen
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mestizo-efp · 5 years
Text
TianShan “First Date”
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@heli-xyz thank you and DONE! Is this how you imagined it? Let me know!
GuanShan kept fidgeting into his chair.
Now pinching his jeans at his knee, now looking around nervously, startling every time he thought he saw someone with black hair walking outside of the cafe.
Now sighing because no, that wasn't He Tian.
Not like he was waiting, or more like... he was waiting because He Tian was fucking late!
But like...he wasn't waiting for him... actually he was. But not for him HIM.
“Wait” he thought, ruffling with both his hands his hair “What a fucking mess!”
Why did he agreed with him? What was he thinking?
Of course he had to. He Tian had pestered him for weeks just to “eat lunch together”.
He looked so happy when, out of exasperation, GuanShan had finally accepted.
«Just fucking leave me alone!» had said GuanShan, but He Tian wasn't listening.
«My first date with little Mo~»
«Gross! It's not a date! The fuck is wrong with you?»
«Let's meet here» said He Tian sending him place and time with his phone
«Hey! Listen to me! Where are you going?»
«See you tomorrow~»
And there he was, like an idiot, sitting alone nervous like he had never been.
Yeah... nervous…
«I'M NOT!» he yelled, punching the table and making a bunch of people looking at him.
Perfect, just perfect.
Now he was arguing with himself, all because of He Tian.
He was messing up his brain to the point of no return.
«What exactly aren't you?»
GuanShan turned around.
“Ah” he thought “There he is”
And it looked like he wasn't the only one who noticed He Tian's arrival. In less than half a second, most of the eyes of the girls inside the place were fixed into He Tian's direction.
GuanShan bit the inside of his cheek, grimacing.
«Waiting another minute here for your lazy ass!»
He Tian chuckled, sitting in front of GuanShan. He was holding a black backpack, which he put down near his foot.
«Sorry I'm late, I was looking for something»
GuanShan clicked his tongue, crossing his arms.
«Wasting my time…» he mumbled «And what the fuck are you looking at?!»
He Tian was smiling at him with a soft smile «I'm so happy you showed up at our first date~»
GuanShan got up so fast the chair under him went down with loudly.
«It's not! Gross!»
But He Tian kept smiling unimpressed.
GuanShan kicked the chair «Go to hell, I'm going home!»
At that point He Tian closed his eyes, raised his shoulders and smiled «Alright» he said.
GuanShan stopped.
“Weird” he thought “This is definitely weird”.
He Tian not trying to stopping him to go away?
GuanShan gulped «What are you planning you bastard?»
He Tian got up, picking up his backpack and circling GuanShan's shoulders with his arm «Nothing little Mo, here» he pointed at the exit door in front of them while pushing GuanShan towards it «Let me…» he said while opening the door «...give you a ride».
“Cool” was the only word that kept on echoing inside GuanShan's head at the sight of the clearly brand new motorcycle waiting at the side of the road.
Shining black hull, silver exhaust. Nice curves.
It was like looking at feral beast.
He Tian got closer, opened his backpack and took out one helmet.
He put the backpack down, took out a key from his pocket and then turned on the engine;
a nice purr came out of it.
GuanShan didn't know what kind of expression he was making when, after putting on his own helmet, He Tian bent down, pulling out another one from the backpack.
He was probably gaping his mouth because he could tell He Tian was smiling even though his face was mostly covered by the helmet, and yes, for the first time in a while, GuanShan didn't hesitate to reach out his hand when He Tian handed over the other helmet, pointing at the seat behind him.
He Tian immediately tried to convince GuanShan that holding his shoulders wasn't safe enough and that he should have hold his waist instead, but of course GuanShan just slammed his helmet against He Tian's yelling to him to just
«Move you asshole!»
And what a ride.
GuanShan never felt that way: as He Tian's motorcycle went faster and faster, GuanShan felt his gut pushing against his stomach.
On each turn he found himself naturally bending towards the road, following the perfect trajectory of the motorcycle.
The roar of the engine so loud he could feel it piercing through his chest.
Wind so strong and cold his bared fingers were freezing, just like his neck and ankles. But he barely noticed that, as he barely noticed the road He Tian was actually taking, clearly not towards GuanShan's apartment.
As they were passing through a straight with no cars at sight, He Tian took the chance and accelerated reaching the highest speed till that moment.
GuanShan felt his heart jumping, a jolt through his spine, and with no reason at all he started to grin, hidden by the helmet.
“Awesome!” he thought.
He was so focused on the ride, that when they stopped, he woke up from a weird trance he had fallen in. He swallowed and for some reason he found himself out of breath.
He looked around: they were on a parking lot on a high hill, under them the breathtaking view of the city.
Suddenly he felt something over his hands, he looked down: at some point he must have moved his hands, and now they were holding He Tian's waist tightly.
“What the…?”
He widened his eyes and looked up: He Tian was smiling at him.
GuanShan felt his face burning up.
«WAAHH!» he yelled, immediately moving away his hands. He Tian snickered.
«Don't be so overdramatic» he said, getting off the motorcycle, putting out the bike stand and taking off his helmet. GuanShan didn't move from his seat.
«Shut up» hissed GuanShan «Where the fuck are we?»
«Just a nice place. Come»
«Tch» GuanShan got down, and moved his fingers over the chin strap.
“Uh?” he thought, fumbling his fingers “How?”
It was so easy to fasten the strap, but now he just couldn't get how to unfastening it.
He moved his fingers again and again, trying to feel with his fingers what the hell he was doing wrong.
He tried to tug it but it got even worse.
Suddenly He Tian was in front of him.
“Ugh…” thought GuanShan, embarrassed.
«Look up» said He Tian.
«I don't fucking need-»
«Look. Up» interrupted him He Tian.
Grimacing as hard as he could, GuanShan first looked at He Tian's eyes, then as ordered, he looked up, exposing his neck.
Nothing happened for about three seconds, then GuanShan felt the back of He Tian's fingers lightly brushing his Adam's apple. He was staring, wasn't he? GuanShan could feel He Tian's eyes piercing through his skin… but it was such a brief moment, he thought it just casually happened.
After that, the chin strap was finally gone.
GuanShan took the helmet off and looked around, there were a few people here and there, all for the view with no doubt.
A strong wind hit him. It was getting colder and colder.
He Tian circled GuanShan's shoulders «It was fun, wasn't it little Mo?»
«I said I wanted to go home» said GuanShan, puffing out his breath.
He Tian turned him around, smirking «This way»
«L-let go! Stop pulling!»
They reached a kiosk, in which a smiling old lady was selling something that smelled amazing.
«Hello aunty~» greeted her He Tian
«My, my» smiled the lady «He Tian, so nice to see you again» her sweet eyes looked at GuanShan,, her smile widened  «And not alone, what's the occasion?»
He Tian smirked, «It's a-»
«IT'S NOT!» yelled GuanShan.
«So cruel little Mo, don't be embarrassed~»
GuanShan gritted his teeths «I'M NOT!»
The old lady laughed «You two sure get along so well»
Before GuanShan could retort again, He Tian took a step towards the kiosk, deepening his hands into his pockets.
«Give me two of the usual aunty»
«Sure thing»
«Tch» GuanShan looked around, rubbing his hands. Now he had to look He Tian eat. He had not even had breakfast because of how nervous he was-
“I FUCKING WASN'T!!!” he thought.
«There you go» said the lady behind GuanShan's back «Oh no, it's the house»
GuanShan turned around, He Tian had his money on his hand while on the other a plastic bag.
The lady put her hand over He Tian's, closing it and squeezing it.
«It's so nice to see you here with someone, have fun!»
He Tian smiled, not the usual smirk, but a sincere smile.
«Thanks auntie. But only this time»
«We'll see about that»
The lady gently waved at both of them, and GuanShan politely bowed his head a little.
They walked towards the fence that overlooked the city. Wind got stronger for a moment, and GuanShan put his hands in his pocket.
He looked at He Tian who was now sitting down and rustling with whatever was inside the plastic bag.
He took out a plastic cup handing it over to GuanShan, patting the spot beside him.
Thinking that He Tian just wanted to hold it for him, GuanShan grimaced at him
«I'm not your fucking-»
«It's for you»
GuanShan eyes moved to He Tian's face to the cup «I don't want it»
«It's just hot tea»
«That's not the point you idiot»
He Tian pushed the cup into GuanShan's hand «Then take it already, and sit here with me. You want to make the aunty sad?»
The cup was amazingly warm into GuanShan's cold fingers, and after a moment he just sat down.
The both sipped their tea in silence. Mostly watching the people who came there just like them.
It wasn't even that bad, GuanShan actually found himself more comfortable in silence that in pointless chat. Which was the thing that prevented him to have friends... that and his shitty personality.
A happy couple walked in front of them, lovingly holding into each other's and giggling like idiots.
GuanShan looked at the almost empty cup.
“What's the point of this?” he thought “Why does he even want me here? I can't even think of what to say, or do”
He had never been good with people, let alone with He Tian who was the exact opposite of him.
He Tian...no, GuanShan was just wasting He Tian's time.
He gulped what was remaining of the tea, and got up.
He looked at He Tian, serious «I'm going home»
He Tian looked at him, GuanShan expected to at least a complaint, instead… He Tian looked down, sighing and showing a sad smile.
«It's no good after all uh»
GuanShan raised his eyebrows.
«At first I thought of a thousand place to go with you, but then I realized that whatever place would have been good for me... because...»
“Uh?”
He looked back at GuanShan «So I started to think of what you would have liked, guess it's the company that's wrong uh?»
“Aren’t I supposed to say that? What?”
«It's alright» said He Tian «Let's go»
He Tian was about to get up, but suddenly GuanShan was back at his side, sitting on the ground.
«Little Mo?»
GuanShan pointed at the plastic bag, avoiding He Tian's eyes.
«Is there any fucking food in there?»
He Tian, confused, bend over, trying to look at GuanShan's eyes.
«You don't have to stay if you don't want to little Mo»
GuanShan pushed him with his shoulder, slightly slipping closer to him «Don't fucking decided everything on your own, who do you think you are?»
“Look who's talking” said a voice inside his head.
“Shut up!” answered GuanShan.
He Tian was smiling, like he was smiling at the old lady. He scooped over, glueing his shoulder against GuanShan's, and the redhead didn't moved away.
He Tian was showing what was inside the bag «Potato croquettes, still warm»
GuanShan took two, handing one to He Tian.
GuanShan took the biggest bite, his cheeks full.
He Tian smirked, chewing at his...ah, so good.
«I'm paying for this» suddenly said GuanShan
«It's not nece-»
«Next time» interrupted GuanShan.
The old lady was selling two croquettes to a cute kid and his sister, when suddenly she heard someone screaming at the top of his lungs.
She looks towards the voice, but immediately felt relieved.
“Ahh” She thought “It's just He Tian hugging his boyfriend. So nice to be in love~”
Patreon| Ao3
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alwayscarryonjily · 5 years
Text
Still Rockin’ Your Hoodie, Baby, Even Though it Hurts
I’m still lying in my bed when Fiona carries a cardboard box into my room around 3:00pm. She drops the box next to my feet and it turns on its side, tipping its contents over the duvet. I twist my neck around so that I can look at the various objects just as she rips open the curtains. The late autumn sun streams through the window, blinding my eyes that haven’t seen light in perhaps three days? I think it’s Tuesday, but it could easily be Wednesday or Thursday.
“Basil, it’s time to get up and stop being pathetic. When I let you move in, I did not sign up for a moping emo kid,” Fiona says. “This is the last box of crap your friend Bunce dropped off yesterday. I figured I’d give you a while before dumping it on you.”
I push myself up and wipe the dried tears from the corners of my eyes. “Bunce? Did she say anything about Simon?”
My breath catches in my throat until I meet her eyes. She shakes her head and I let the air escape from my lungs.
“I’m sorry, kid.” She turns towards the door but pauses. “It’s take-out night. If you don’t come out for food, I’m dragging your ass back to your father’s house.”
I twist in my duvet after the door closes and watch as a book falls from the bed onto the floor. It looks like a psychology textbook, but I don’t take psychology. Simon does. I grab the book that’s lying next to my foot. It’s a biology textbook. Yet another course I don’t take. I lift the box and the array of colourful clothing that greets me tells me that this isn’t my box. Bunce delivered Simon’s last box, not mine. I want to believe she did it on purpose, trying to get me to speak to Simon and fix things, but she’s not that kind of person. I know this was a mistake. I reach for a pink sleeve and pull it towards me. T-shirts, socks and a scarf are pulled out of the box with the hoodie and I pick them off, placing them carefully back in the box. I lift the hoodie up by its shoulders and stare at it. It’s the one I bought Simon for his birthday last year. The pink one with the white blossoms on the sleeves and the circle of fairies on the back. ­I drop my head into my knees and pull the material up to my face. Tears fall from my eyes and catch on the pink fabric. It still smells like smoke and baking; like Simon. I sit there for another hour, letting Simon’s hoodie muffle my sobs. Fiona knocks on my door once, but she walks away when I don’t answer, although I know she’ll be back if I don’t make an appearance before dinner arrives.
I let myself take five more minutes to get myself together before I pull myself out of bed. My legs struggle to hold my weight steadily, but I make my way to my dresser. I pull out a pair of sweatpants, some new underwear (cause lord knows I need it) and a black tank top. My bladder is near bursting and I reek of sweat after not showering for days. I know Fiona wouldn’t appreciate having a sweaty 19-year-old sitting in her kitchen any more than she must like having a mopey emo kid sulking in her spare bedroom, so I spend the next half hour in the bathroom. When I return to my room to throw my clothes in the laundry basket my eye catches on Simon’s hoodie. I reach to pick it up and press it to my face, inhaling Simon’s scent.  My nose rubs against an old cigarette burn under the collar and the teeth of the zipper scratch my cheek.
“Basil, if you want anything in particular you better get out here soon!” Fiona yells.
I pull my face away from the hoodie and look towards the door, even though I know it’s closed and that Fiona will be looking through a pile of take-out menus. I glance back at the lump of pink in my hands before pulling it on, up and over my arms.
-
When I enter the living room of Fiona’s small London flat I instantly spot her sitting cross-legged on the breakfast bar. She has her nose stuck in a menu for one of the Indian restaurants down the street. Her feet are covered in various take-out menus from restaurants in the flat’s general area. I saunter over to her and pick up one of the Chinese restaurant menus.
“Can I have honey roast chicken, pork dumplings and chicken-corn soup if I go pick everything up?” I ask before dropping the menu back on her feet and walking over to one of the two sofas.
“If you help with the bill,” she replies, looking up with a smirk as I drop onto the couch.
I narrow my eyes and stick my tongue out. She winks before dropping off the edge of the counter and reaching for the phone. She dials and orders from the local Pizza Hut. I roll my eyes at her Hawaiian pizza and large coke. She hangs up and turns to me with her hands on her hips, raising an eyebrow.
“You have such cultured taste.”
Fiona glares at my words and picks up a menu. I can’t read what restaurant it’s for, but I’m willing to bet it isn’t McDonald’s. She picks up the phone again and dials.
“Hi, can I place an order of mango chicken and tikka masala for Fiona. Yeah, thanks.” She glares at me as she puts the phone down. “Have fun picking up food from three restaurants, Fiona.”
I sneer at her back as she stalks out of the room, chuckling to herself. I spot my cell phone on the coffee table in front of me, the shattered screen still present. I really should have asked Fiona to get it fixed for me. I reach over and pick it up, pressing the on/off button as I lift it towards my face. The screen lights up and through the shattered glass I can see the lock screen; a selfie of Simon and I from our one-year anniversary dinner three months ago. Simon’s cuddled into my side on the floor of our old apartment. He’s holding the phone while reaching up to kiss my neck and I’m smiling at the phone in his hand. He has sauce all over one side of his face and a few pieces of rice stuck to the corner of his mouth. I know there are stains on the shirt he wore that night from all the food he dropped down his front and Penny wouldn’t speak to us the next day because we reeked of garlic. But we were happy that night. We were happy together.
“I haven’t heard you leave yet, and it’s a half hour walk down the street!” Fiona yells from her room.
I sit up, wiping a tear from my cheek with the pad of my thumb and rub a pink sleeve over my eyes. I drop the phone on the couch as I stand and take a shaky breath.
“You left yet?” She yells again.
“Jeez, you’re impatient! I’m leaving now!” I yell back.
I reach around my door frame on my way to the front door to grab a pair of shoes and shove my feet into them while I grab my coat and keys. I pocket the cash Fiona had in her coat pocket and check I have some cash in my own. I yell a goodbye to Fiona before the door closes behind me when I step out into the hallway.
-
I’m struggling down the street with Fiona’s two bags of food and my own when I see the head of bronze curls ahead of me. I stumble and almost drop everything over the pavement. Someone knocks into my shoulder as I readjust the bags in my hands. My eyes drift upwards and look for the mop of brown hair down the street. I spot the person walking towards me, bobbing through the crowd of people. I consider my options; continue walking towards them or cross the street and run like a wimp on the grounds that the person is possibly Simon. I take one step in front of me and bolt across the street, weaving through the backed-up traffic.
I barely stop running from that spot on the street to Fiona’s apartment door. I take a few minutes in the hallway to catch my breath before I open the door. Fiona’s sitting on the couch watching some American reality show and eating popcorn.
“I wasn’t even gone an hour and you couldn’t wait?” I roll my eyes as I drop the food on the table by the door and shrug off my coat.
“Hey! I’m old. I need my sustenance. I can’t be waiting around for melancholic teenagers to get home to give me food.”
I carry the bags of food over to the coffee table and dump them in front of her. She shoots me a smug grin as she reaches for her pizza box and I aim my middle finger at her, mimicking her grin. The smell of the garlic in my dumplings wafts towards me as I rip open the paper bag. The sounds from Fiona’s shitty reality show continue as we unpack our food.
“Are we having a movie night or are you going to subject me to this colonial rubbish?” I ask from the kitchen while grabbing some cutlery for us.
“If we can watch a Disney movie I’ll turn this off and save your poor brain cells from further destruction.”
I throw a plastic fork and spoon at her and reach for her laptop to open her movie files.
“Well the only ones you have downloaded are Frozen and Tangled, so your pick I guess,” I say through a spoonful of soup.
She turns to me with an evil grin on her face. I watch as she takes a sip from her coke before she says, “Frozen.”
“Why did I know you’d say that?” I groan, leaning away from the dumpling on the table that I was about to eat.
-
I glance over at Fiona as the end credits start to roll. She’s snoring into her half empty pizza box and is hugging her coke (which has spilled all over the couch) to her chest. I reach across to her sofa and grab the remote from the arm of the couch, clicking the television into silence before closing the lid of her laptop too. I pull the blanket from the back of the chair I’d been sitting in and drape it over her. She shifts as the woolen weight settles over her, but her eyes remain closed. I sneak around the apartment, putting whatever food we didn’t eat in the fridge for tomorrow’s lunch – or breakfast in Fiona’s case. I check to make sure she isn’t being smothered by the pizza she’s using as a pillow before escaping to my room. I change into some sweatpants, keeping Simon’s hoodie on, and pull out my laptop before climbing into bed. When I open it and the screen lights up the first thing I see is the notification from Facebook in the bottom corner of the screen informing me that I have a message from Penelope Bunce. I click the notification, letting it take me to Facebook. Messenger opens, and Bunce’s chat pops up.
Hey, how are you doing? Do you want me to send you the economics notes you’ve missed?
I consider not gracing her messages with a reply, but the message was sent two days ago, and despite her loyalty to Simon, I know she wouldn’t want to think that I’m miserable. So, I type a quick reply and close the tab, instead opening my emails. A collection of emails from my lecturers appears on the screen, all of them containing links to Google Docs that my classmates have filled with homework and class discussions, none of which I have shared my usually obnoxious opinion in. I close the tab and shut the screen, placing my laptop on the bedside table before turning off the lamp beside me and burying down into my blankets.
I’m half asleep when my laptop makes a noise, letting me know that I have a new notification. I reach for my laptop and open the lid. I click on the notification and my emails open.
Hey Baz, are you okay? I just want you to know that I’m sorry.
I want to type a reply, but my vision becomes blurred by tears and I have to delete the email from Simon. I close my laptop for the second time in the past half hour and slide it across the floor, so it rests as far from my bed as it can get. I curl into a ball, pressing my face into my pillow and fall asleep to the sounds of my own sobs.
-
When I emerge from my room around twelve the next day, Fiona is eating my leftovers. She’s trying to be sneaky about it by hiding behind the fridge door, but I can see her perfectly well from the doorway to the kitchen. I clear my throat and place a hand on my hip. She jerks back from the fridge, sending rice scattering across the floor. Her eyes narrow when she sees me, and she quickly swallows her mouthful.
“That’s your fault,” she says, pointing at the rice on the floor. “You can clean it up.”
She laughs and goes back to eating my food when I flash my middle finger at her. I grab the half broom and shovel from below the sink and start collecting the rice from the floor.
I feel Fiona’s eyes on me before she says, “Didn’t you wear that hoodie yesterday? I didn’t know you knew what colours were.”
“Of course, I know what colours are. I did take art in high school, you know,” I reply, not looking at her.
I hear a rustle of clothes and the sound of a container being placed on a shelf before the fridge door closes. I turn and see Fiona leaning against the wall. She has an eyebrow raised as if to say, are you gonna cut the shit or am I going to have to rip it out of you? I glare at her but feel myself wanting to tell her where it came from and why I’m wearing it, but I can see the pitying look in her eyes and I don’t want that sympathy to transfer to her face.
“It’s just something I found in my wardrobe.” The lie rolls right off my tongue and leaves a sour taste in my mouth as well as a prickling behind my eyes.
She makes an mhmm noise before opening the fridge again and pulling out my dumplings.
“Hurry up so that I don’t have to eat all your food.”
I grin at her, sweep up the last of the rice and tip the floor scrapings in the shovel into the bin. Fiona takes the lead walking into the lounge and I follow, dropping into the same seat I sat in last night. Fiona, too, sits in the same place she did last night. She seems to have cleaned up a bit because her pizza box pillow is gone and the couch she spilled coke on no longer has a dark brown stain. Although it wouldn’t have mattered whether she’d done something to fix the stain when you consider the dozens of other stains on the furniture around the apartment. She reaches over and offers me the container of dumplings. I take a few and let her claim the rest for herself.
“Does your cloak of darkness fit over that hoodie? It looks a bit big,” Fiona says through a mouthful of dumpling.
I furrow my eyebrows and cock my head slightly to the side, trying to express my confusion without speaking with my food-filled mouth. She rolls her eyes at the manners I display (courtesy of my upbringing) but elaborates on her question.
“Does your leather jacket fit over the hoodie? Or are you turning into a pastel-loving cinnamon roll? Because if so, I want first dibs on the black clothes you’re abandoning.”
“No, I’m not turning into a cinnamon roll. And how do you even know what a cinnamon roll is?” I shove another dumpling in my mouth while she answers.
“I spend more time on the internet than you do, or did you forget that some of us adults can actually use technology, unlike that father of yours.” She places her last bite of dumpling in her mouth and turns around to check the clock on the wall. “I have to go. I’m meeting someone. There’s still food in the fridge if I’m not back later. What am I saying? You’re an adult. Take care of yourself. That isn’t my responsibility anymore.”
“What time will you be back?” I ask, reaching out to take the empty container from her.
She stands as she shrugs and says, “Dunno. If I’m not back by four call me using the house phone, but I probably won’t be longer than an hour. Oh, did you want me to get your phone screen fixed while I’m out?”
I look at the couch cushions that I know my phone is hidden between and shrug. “Couldn’t hurt I guess.”
She reaches between the cushions and pulls it out. How she knew where it was is beyond me, although she was sleeping there so it’s highly likely that she felt it digging into her stomach while she was snoring into her pizza pillow.
“Wow, this screen really is a mess. How did you manage to shatter it this much?”
I shrug again, opting to irritate her rather than tell her that I threw it at a wall during the fight with Simon. She glares at me but comes over to kiss the top of my head before leaving me alone in the apartment. I look around the room and decide that I should probably start catching up on all the lectures I’ve missed, so I collect my laptop and a blanket from my room and return to the couch in the hopes of having a study afternoon.
-
My head jerks forward, throwing me out of my dream and I blink slowly. My computer is still in front of me, open on an economics Google Doc. I meant to read through the notes my classmates had left, but I don’t remember any of what’s in front of me, so I assume that I fell asleep soon after turning on my laptop. My earplugs are miraculously still in my ears and the Fall Out Boy album I’d been listening to is still playing. I pause the song currently playing and pull the earplugs out of my ears. As soon as they leave my ears, I hear the ringing of the phone. I jump up, almost dropping my laptop and race over to the phone. I turn back to the clock by the door as I take the phone off the hook on the wall and press it to my ear. The clock reads three seventeen, so I didn’t sleep for very long and there’s no sign that Fiona’s returned but I don’t have to worry about that for another hour or so.
“Hello?” A voice asks.
I forgot that the phone was pressed to my ear for a reason.
“Hey. Hi. This is Baz.”
“Baz, hey. It’s Penny. I’ve been calling for the past hour,” the voice says.
“Hey. How are you? Is everything alright?” I can’t help asking; Bunce never calls me. She rarely even texts me. She’s more of an email person, and even then, she doesn’t tend to use that either.
“Yeah, everything’s fine. I just wanted to check you’d got the box of stuff I dropped off? You didn’t say anything about it in your Messenger reply.”
I think about the box of Simon’s things sitting in my room and the hoodie that I’m currently wearing. “Actually, Bunce, you gave me the wrong box. You gave me Simon’s stuff.”
There’s a pause on the other end and for a second, I think I hear voices, but then Bunce says, “Oh.”
“Oh?”
“Um,” There’s another pause. “Well, do you want to maybe meet me somewhere, so I can switch the boxes?”
I think about how switching the boxes means I’ll have to give Simon’s hoodie back, and then I think about how selfish that is. The hoodie belongs to Simon. He loved it. I can’t take that from him.
“Yeah. I can meet you later today if that’s fine?” I ask, knowing I won’t be going anywhere else for the rest of the day.
“Actually, I have a meeting with one of my lecturers and I’m meeting, uh, I’m meeting Simon and Agatha for dinner with Micah,” She says, and I have to force myself to take a shaky breath.
Of course, Simon is going out and enjoying himself. He’s probably glad to be rid of me; the pathetic, boring boyfriend that always kept him from doing the things he wanted to do.
“Okay, well I should probably go to work tomorrow, but I can meet you afterwards? If you don’t have any afternoon lectures, that is?”
There’s a pause on the other end and I think I hear voices again before Bunce speaks. “Yeah that should be fine. Do you want to meet at the coffee shop by your work?”
I agree to meet her there at four and say goodbye before hanging up. I put the phone back on the hook and take a few steps into the living room until the phone rings again. I sigh and reach around to pick it up, not bothering to greet the caller; it’s probably Bunce calling again to double check our plans are good. But the voice on the other end doesn’t belong to Penelope Bunce.
“Hello?” A deeper, male voice says.
My breath catches in my throat and my stomach drops.
“Is anyone there?” Simon pauses. “Baz? Are you there?”
My throat starts to burn with the lack of oxygen in my lungs and I force myself to take a shallow breath. Simon sighs on the other end.
“Baz, I just wanted to find out if a box of my things ended up with yours. I’m missing a few textbooks that I need for exams… Well, text Penny if you find them. Bye. I miss you.”
The silence that follows on the other end tells me he hung up. I place the phone back on the hook for the second time in the past few minutes and continue my earlier path into the lounge. I drop back into the sofa and move my laptop on the coffee table; I can’t handle the thought of studying right now. I curl into a ball and press my shoulder against the back of the chair. I hold in the tears, but I can’t keep the uneven breaths from racking my chest. I close my eyes and let myself fall into a restless sleep.
-
A hand on my shoulder brings me out of unconsciousness. I open my eyes and see the apartment lit up by the lamps around the room. The kitchen light is on and through the window I can see that it’s dark outside. I look up into Fiona’s grey eyes and see the concern in her eyes vanish behind a mask of impatience. She leans away from me and places her hands on her hips.
“Take out was last night, so tonight’s cooking night and I don’t want to burn anything, so I need a supervisor,” she says simply before vanishing into the kitchen.
I look at the clock and see that I slept for roughly five hours. Well, I won’t be sleeping well later. I peel myself out of the couch and join my aunt in the kitchen.
“Is it curry night then?” I ask when I see the various assortment of spices littering the bench.
“Mhmm,” Fiona replies absentmindedly as she examines the types of rice in the cupboard.
“We only have brown rice and jasmine rice, and you like being healthy when we cook. Get out the brown rice,” I say while rolling my eyes.
She flashes her middle finger at me over her shoulder and pulls out the bag of brown rice. She grabs a pot from one of the cupboards and fills it with water. I lean across the breakfast bar and turn the radio on. When I look around at Fiona she’d dancing to the WHAM! song that’s currently playing. We spend the night dancing around the kitchen to the radio while we cook.
I wake up the next morning in my room to my alarm going off for work. The alarm clock reads seven am. I sit up, pulling the duvet with me, and turn the alarm off before it wakes Fiona up from down the hall. I change into a pair of black jeans and an MCR shirt before pulling Simon’s hoodie over my arms. I shove my arms into my rain jacket at the front door and carry the box of Simon’s things down the hall and out onto the street. I place it carefully in the back room when I get to work and clock in. My co-worker for the day is a girl called Trixie. I let her take counter duty and instead start restocking the shelves in the science fiction/fantasy section. We take our lunch break behind the counter because our manager, an older woman named Miss Possibelf, went out for lunch with her sister and needed us to mind the store while we eat. Trixie’s girlfriend, Keris, visits after our break and I tell Trixie that I’ll close the store for her, so she can get off early. I sit behind the counter, opening and closing the tray on the cash register while staring religiously at the clock on the computer screen.
When the time finally reads three thirty I sit up and start packing up the shop for the day. The sign reads ‘Closed’ and the lights are all off when I leave ten minutes later. I carry Simon’s box to the café down the street and order a pumpkin mocha breve before choosing a corner table. I consider taking Simon’s hoodie off and putting it in the box, but it’s only Penny that’s meeting me and it’s not like she’d judge me. I pull my phone out and start writing a text to Penelope, but the door opening makes me look up.
I catch a glimpse of bronze curls before my eyes meet blue ones. A wave of emotion sweeps over me and I find myself struggling to my feet.
“Baz,” Simon says at the same time I say, “Simon.”
I watch as his eyes drift down and focus on the hoodie I’m wearing. His hoodie. I feel my cheeks heat as I rush to take it off.
“Baz- uh, you don’t- don’t worry about it,” he says, and I stop wrestling with the hoodie.
“Sorry. I assume you want your stuff back?” I notice he carries a cardboard box under his arm, presumably containing my own lost things.
He nods.
We stand there for a few seconds just taking each other in, then we both rush to speak.
“Do you want to-”
“I assume you want-”
“Sorry,” we mutter at the same time.
I sit back down awkwardly and pick up my drink to occupy my hands. Simon looks at the counter for a second and turns back to me.
“I’m just gonna go get a, uh, drink,” he says. “I’ll just leave this here.”
He puts his box on one of the chairs opposite me and walks towards the counter. He comes back a couple of minutes later with his own pumpkin mocha breve. He sits down in the other chair on the other side of the table and looks up at me with those blue eyes. Fuck.
I clear my throat and nod towards the cardboard box on the floor next to me. “I guess you know Bunce accidentally gave us the wrong boxes.”
Simon opens his mouth and closes it again. I cock my head to the side and furrow my eyebrows.
“What?” I ask.
“Penny did that on purpose. I thought you knew.”
I narrow my eyes and start planning the email I’m going to send her later. Simon grimaces across the table and lifts his hand slightly, as if he was going to reach for my own, but he drops it again.
“That’s your plotting face. Forget about Pen. She just wanted us to talk and sort this out,” he says, still grimacing, worried eyes trained on my face.
I catch myself clenching my hands around my cup and force myself to loosen my grip. “What is there to talk about? We broke up.”
Simon winces and recoils slightly in his chair at the words. My hand twitches, wanting to reach out and grasp his own, to rub circles on the back of his hand and comfort him. I remove my hands from my cup and lace them together in my lap to resist the urge.
“I’m sorry, Baz. I regret everything that happened that night. I’m so, so sorry.”
I watch as his eyes glaze over and he looks down at the table to avoid eye contact with me. This time I can’t help it when my hands untangle, and one reaches across the table to grab Simon’s hand. I lift our interlocked hands to my mouth and kiss his knuckles. His head tilts up and our eyes meet while I continue pressing my lips to his hand. I watch as he smiles at me and he pulls our hands away from my mouth, lifting them towards his own and kissing my knuckles.
In this moment, I know everything is going to be fine between us.
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shirtlesssammy · 5 years
Text
14x04: Mint Condition
Then:
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I can’t believe this! Ghosts are real!
Now:
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(Sidenote: I’m here for the fun Easter Eggs! Check out the credits on the Hell Hazers poster!)
At Smash Pow Comics, Stuart, a nerdy little dude with a trench coat, watches an advertisement for a horror movie marathon. There’s going to be slicing and dicing all week! (I spy a Racist Ghost Truck and the cabin from Hollywood Babylon.) He starts unpacking new inventory, when he finds a Mezco 15” Mega-Scale Panthro.
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He promptly shoves it into a bag, clearly intent on stealing it. He gets a call from a friend, Sam, who wants to talk about the recent bad review their store received after Stuart got into a fight with a customer. The dude has principles. But, he agrees to be nicer to customers. He then leaves the store with the stolen Panthro.
Later, Stuart is yelling on the phone at a pizza company for being late with his delivery, when, now out of the box, Pantho turns his head and makes his way, nunchucks in hand, over to Stuart. Things do not go well for Stuart.
Speaking of things not going well, Dean is not adjusting well to his home being invaded by strangers (and the whole Michael possession thingy). He’s holed up in his (MESSY) room drinking beer, eating pizza, WEARING ‘SEND NOODS’ NOVELTY SOCKS, and watching classic 80s horror movies. I don’t think fanfic could have written this better, folks.
Sam checks in on our little hermit.
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It seems that Dean is pouting because Cas is gone (and Kaia and her magical spear are gone and Michael and his deathly threat to the world are also gone.) Sam then continues to show his strong leadership skills and deftly takes control of the situation, telling Dean about a case --a killer toy! Dean’s on it!
Sam couldn’t be prouder of himself.
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The brothers arrive at the comic store (and, omg, Sam’s little faux-scared reaction to the kids on the street is KILLER.) Sam, the store owner, is there and before Dean calls her Sam’s Wonder twin, I was thinking how she’d fit right into the hunter world with her plaid shirt. Sam then notices another worker, Dirk, and says he’s Dean’s Wonder twin. Parallels established.
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Dean then completely nerds out over a life size mannequin of David ‘Hatchet Man’ Yeager, the monster from his favorite movie franchise, All Saints’ Day. DEAN BEAN.
Comic Sam asks how she can help them (Dean’s interested in vintage Hot Wheels), Sam wants to know more about Stuart. Sam tells them that he’s at his mom’s house. “Of course he is,” Dean quips.
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At Stuart’s mom’s house, the brothers settle in with a little hot apple cider and wait for Stuart. 
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*Bullet Points of Crazy Dialog*
Fortnite is the game
Dean’s a Zelda for life
MIRL
Who needs goth-girl drama, am I right?
The hospital report said that you had marks on your face, your legs, your back, and your genitals. That’s not a slip and fall.
Surprisingly, Stuart is not interested in cooperating with the insurance company. They decide to stakeout the home to do a sweep of hex bags, etc. Dean tries getting Sam to talk about his hatred for Halloween, but the stakeout interrupts the inquiry. They duck down to avoid notice.
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Stuart then comes screaming out of his home, blood gushing from his gut. Dean heads inside to investigate.
For Science:
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While looking around, Dean’s nearly bisected by a rogue chainsaw. WHELP.
Later, at the hospital, Dean and Sam visit Stuart and his mother. Alone, they discuss the lack of hex bags and overabundance of EMF at Stuart’s home. It’s a ghost!
Sam heads back to Stuart’s house, only to find no EMF. He does see a picture of Stuart, Sam, Dirk, and another man though.
At the dark, quiet hospital, Dirk stands watching over a comatose Stuart. Dean brings him some candy (awww), Dirk confides that Stuart is his best friend. He might have issues, but he’s there when Dirk needs him. Then they both nerd out over their favorite All Saints’ Day movie. Dean then confesses that he likes to watch these movies because he knows the bad guy is going to lose. I’m not crying, you’re crying.
Sam heads back to the shop to talk to...Sam. Sam asks Samantha a few normal insurance-adjuster questions, like did anyone close to Stuart die recently? In fact, yes. The former shop owner, Jordan, willed the store to Sam and Dirk after he died. Unfortunately, Jordan was cremated, so the trail's gone cold. Speaking of COLD, the shop dips dramatically in temperature. Sam whips out his “carbon monoxide detector” and finds EMF signals are through the roof. They'd better run before they--
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Later, Sam wakes up after getting knocked out by the hatchet man and discovers a traumatized Samantha and a set of missing shop keys. They've been locked inside the store while the possessed mannequin stalks the streets to hunt down Stuart.
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At the hospital Dean continues to totally nerd out with Dirk as they keep their vigil over Stuart. They share their favorite moments from horror movies until Sam calls and interrupts (Interrupting Saaaam) with the news that Jordan's on his way as...the Hatchet Man.
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Dean is over the moon that David Yaeger – the Hatchet Man himself – is on his way to the hospital. It's like a dream...er, nightmare...er, dream come true.
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Jordan shambles through the Halloween streets wearing the Hatchet Man mannequin, blending in perfectly with the astonishingly well costumed children of the town. (For comparison, when children of this age came to my house last week they were wearing hoodies, jeans, and bored expressions.)
At the hospital, Dean makes a salt line around Stuart's bed and tells Dirk to stay inside the circle. Dean runs off, leaving the two alone. When the room grows cold, lights flicker, and the furniture begins to rattle, Dirk races out of the salt circle. As an audience, we collectively cry, “Oh noooooooo!” (And also, OH YES.)
At the store, Samantha informs Sam that Stuart was excluded from Jordan's will due to his tendency to give himself the ol' five finger discount. And now we have a motive. Jordan's after Stuart due to his thieving ways. Sam's having trouble escaping the store with its master locks and shatter-proof glass. It's so well fortified, you could use it to wait out a zombie apocalypse. All you need now is a deep freezer full of Cornetto ice cream cones.
At the hospital, Dean finds an ax.
For My Scientific Paper Entitled, Jensen Ackles, Your Face is a Menace:
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And the Hatchet Man finds Stuart's mom. She shrieks and drops her dinner, but fear not! The Hatchet Man gets distracted by Dirk who confronts him from the other end of the hallway. Dirk tells Jordan to stop trying to kill Stuart but Jordan seems pretty locked into his role. He chases Dirk through the hospital.
We cut to some security guards enjoying popcorn and a movie in their office. On screen, they watch the Hatchet Man chase after a shrieking victim while on another unseen screen Dirk is chased through the hospital by Jordan. Beautiful.
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Both chase scenes make lovely references back to the lampshade from earlier, screaming about the weird lack of people around to help them while they shout and run through the hospital. Yessss very good. Dirk, cornered at the hospital elevator, cringes in horror as the Hatchet Man advances.
In the impenetrable fortress of solitude, aka the comic book shop, Sam makes a casual chemical bomb out of household cleaners and a Scooby Doo lunchbox. He blows the back door off the shop. COOL.
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Dirk continues to run from Jordan and finds himself in the morgue. Dean claps a hand on his shoulder from behind. YIKES! Classic jump scare. 
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Dirk tells Dean that the homicidal Jordan/Hatchet Man is at the hospital and, right on cue, Jordan sits up from where he's been laying on a slab in the morgue. With a sheet pulled up over him. Like you do. Jordan has gone METHOD in this haunting, man.
Cut to a movie trailer, with the origin story of David Yaeger and...the Hatchet Man. Intercut with scenes from old Supernatural episodes including – no joke – an old shot of the back of young John Winchester's head in the auto shop, we see the basic story outline.
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Yaeger was killed in a prank gone wrong and his body burned to hide the evidence. He returned to enact his revenge on the teens who'd killed him and mutilated his body. (Hey guys, who wants to talk about horror movies and fables as classic morality plays? The “bad” are killed and the “good” or repentant are saved. I would love to see this tie into Heaven's stability problems later in this season, and an exploration of vengeful ghosts and morality fables. That would be a nice, tight narrative woven through the season...Mmmhmmm.)
I digress. Dean faces down Jordan for an ax showdown.
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Dean gives Jordan a choice. Move on to the after-afterlife or fight Dean. Jordan pushes a button on his...plastic suit? “Time to slice and dice,” he says, challengingly. And the fight's on. Hatchet Man's pretty strong with his two axes and quickly knocks Dean's ax out of his hands. Dean goes on to fight with 1) a sheet 2) an empty jug and 3) a bedpan in each hand. I. LOVE. THIS. FIGHT CHOREOGRAPHER.
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Sam and Sam walk through the hospital, racking their brains for what Jordan might be clinging to. They decide the keys are the culprit. Meanwhile, Dean's in a tight spot, on the ground in his fight against Jordan. The ax raises. Dean cowers. Suddenly, there's a blade from behind. Dirk stabbed the Hatchet Man right in the back but it's not enough to stab the plastic dummy. Jordan grabs ahold of Dean and starts to choke him. Sam races to burn the keys, and the two Sams pour alcohol into a bowl and light it on fire, destroying the keys and setting free Jordan's spirit.
“Is it really over? Just like that?” Dirk asks a little while later, to Dean's astonishment. Yeah, getting choked was super easy. (I love this subtle dig at us viewers' casual acceptance of violence and trauma. It's not a judgmental observation, it's just the way we function.)
On the way home, Dean opens up to Sam. He thanks him for getting him out of his pizza-box-filled bedroom. Sam asks Dean to stop “hiding out” in his room. He tells him that nobody blames him for what Michael did while he possessed Dean, nor for doing what he had to do to save Sam and Jack. Dean blames himself, though. “I'm never gonna get over it,” Dean tells him flatly. But he will pull himself up and fight alongside Sam. Dean addresses Sam as “Chief” and while the address is a bit tongue in cheek, it's also an affectionate nod to Sam's new responsibilities and leadership role. (Yaaay)
Dean grills Sam about his hatred of Halloween and, since emotions are being released, Sam relents. When he was in sixth grade he had a huge crush on a girl. He went to her Halloween party, but was so nervous that he threw up all over the apple bobbing game and all over her. “It was soooo bad,” Sam says quietly with a haunted look in his eye. (I LOVE how relatable Sam's trauma is. Who doesn't spend time sometimes dwelling on the scars of youth? No matter what true horrors lay in the past, some form of trauma is universal to all of us humans.)
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Sam ran from the party and hid in the woods until Dean found him and picked him up. Dean vows to make Sam's next Halloween a good one. They can wear matching outfits like:
1) Batman and Robin (No)
2) Bert and Ernie (That's weird)
3) Rocky and Bullwinkle (Nooope)
4) Shaggy and Scooby! (Why?)
5) Turner and Hooch (Urg)
6) Ren and Stimpy (Come on)
7) Thelma and Louise (No thanks)
But the show’s not over yet, folks. A security guard heads into the morgue. He finds the knife, the two axes...and the Hatchet Man. The Hatchet Man cackles, “Trick or Treat” and then chuckles malevolently as the screen goes black. Dun dun duuuuuuuun!
Time to Quote and...Smote?
It’s so smooth, it’s like a dolphin’s belly.
Thundercats? Seriously? Panthro is mine.
If I had Kryptonite gloves I could beat up Superman. Anyone could. That's SCIENCE, Sam!
I can’t believe you had her make us apple cider.
We all do bad things sometimes.
Unless it's Godzilla, it's real.
One day we're gonna have to answer for the things we did that night.
In this dark, quiet hospital...they can run, they can hide, but there's no escaping the Hatchet Man.
Want to read more? Check out our Recap Archive!
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allthekpopimagines · 6 years
Text
Got7 Scenario - Nothing On You by B.O.B and Bruno Mars
A/N: Girrrrllll, I know this song and I love it. I love the lyrics and they’re perfect for Got7, my faithful but SO disrespectful boys. I’m going to write girlfriend/girl because of the song lyrics. Anything else I would use they unless requested.
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“Beautiful girls, all over the world I could be chasing but my time would be wasted they got nothing on you baby, nothing on you baby. They might say hi and I might say hey but you shouldn’t worry about what they say ‘cause they got nothing on you baby, nothing on you baby.”
Mark: (A/N: What a rude bias wrecker! How is he so God like?! Tell me!!) You stood with Mark at the security entrance. This is as far as you could go in the airport. You began to fumble with your fingers. Mark stood behind you back hugging you so he wouldn’t have to leave you so soon. The boys had already gone forward but Jaebum was waiting for Mark because he needed to make sure all of the members got on the plane. You began to cry, 8 months without your boyfriend. Your anxiety had gotten the best of you when you called your friend who was going to spend some time with you while Mark was away so you didn’t feel super lonely the whole time. Mark let go of the hug and he came around to where he could see your face and he held your face in his hands, “Hey, it’s just 8 months. It’ll go by super quickly.” You just nodded avoiding his gaze. He got concerned and he made you look at him, “Don’t worry baby. I love you and I know that you’re scared but I’ll be thinking about the whole time. Because you’re my baby and nobody else’s and I’m your baby and nobody else’s okay?” You nodded and kissed him before Jaebum called him over and said that they needed to leave. Before Mark left he kissed your forehead and said, “You’re perfect and I love you and I’m all yours okay?” You nodded and just like that he was gone. 
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“Nothing on you babe, nothing on you. I know you feel where I’m coming from regardless of the things in my past that I’ve done, most of it was really for the hell of the fun. On the carousel so around I spun, with no directions just tryna get some, tryna chase skirts living in the summer sun, this is how I’ve lost more than I had ever won and honestly I ended up with none.” 
Jaebum: (A/N: why does this sound like it’s just a sad line. This is gonna break my heart. My poor baby!) You and Jaebum were in a heated argument now and you just couldn’t keep this up. Jaebum had continuously tried to flirt with multiple girls in front of your face and you just couldn’t believe him. You have told him many times to stop and he would say he would but then he would turn around and do it again. You yelled at him, “Jaebum I don’t see how I’m not good enough for you! Why do you keep doing this?!” He just sighs angrily and shrugs, “Fun?” He says more as a question than an answer. You’re shocked by his answer and you say, “So this is fun for you? To flirt with so many other girls when you have a girlfriend right here?” He realizes his mistake and he says, “Wait, no babe. That’s not what I meant.” You shook your head and said, “I don’t need to hear anything more. You can go have fun now since you’re now single.” He shakes his head and he says, “But I love you.” You shake your head and you send him a sympathetic smile, “No you don’t. You love the thought of being in a relationship. You don’t actually love me.” With those last words you left Jaebum in the house alone. You would only be back one more time and that was to collect all of your stuff. 
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“There’s so much nonsense it’s on my conscience. I’m thinking baby that I should get it out and I don’t wanna sound redundant but I was wondering if there was something that you wanna know but never mind that we should let it go ‘cause we don’t wanna be a tv episode and all the bad thoughts just let them go.” 
Jackson: You just kept thinking of all the things Jackson hadn’t told you yet. Given, you had only been dating for 3 months and you didn’t expect him to just tell you everything on the first date. Speaking of date, you were getting ready to go on a date with him tonight. He said he got done with work early tonight and you were super excited. It was now 6:30 pm and you were putting your shoes on and there was a knock. You opened the door after putting both your shoes on and there he was in a nice suit. You smiled and said, “Hi babe.” He would smile and say, “Hello. Now, shall we?” He asks as he holds out his elbow. You made sure you had everything you needed and you nodded taking his elbow and going out to dinner with him. Once you got there you couldn’t help but wonder about the things you don’t know about him. Jackson knew there was something on your mind. He put down his menu and he asked, “Babe, are you okay?” It snapped you out of your spaced out mind. You asked, “Wait, what?” He chuckled and said, “I know there’s something on your mind. What is it?” You sighed and you decided to tell him, “There’s not a whole lot that I know about you.” He smiled and he leaned forward, “Well, what’d you wanna know?” With that you had a full night of questions and answers. 
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“Hands down, there will never be another one, I been around and I never seen another one. Look at your style they ain’t really got nothing on, and you out and you ain’t got nothing on. Baby you the whole package plus you pay your taxes and you keep it real while them other stay plastic you’re my Wonder Woman call me Mr.Fantastic stop...now think about it.” 
Jinyoung: You were getting dressed in the hotel room and once you were dressed you went out to the patio of your hotel room. You smiled at the view and you were super happy. You sighed a much needed one and you looked down at the ring that occupied your ring finger on your left hand. You fiddled with it a little but every time you looked at it, it just made you so much more happy. He really was everything to you. Next thing you know you feel hands wrap around your waist and you smile as Jinyoung kisses your shoulder once. You hum and he says, “How’re you this morning?” You smile and say, “Well, I feel a major reassurance on whether you like me or not.” He chuckled and nodded and held your hands, “Now you do.” With that you kissed him and he turned you around so he could look into your eyes and tell you every little thing he loved about his new wife.
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“I’ve been to London, I’ve been to Paris even went out there to Tokyo. Back home down in Georgia to New Orleans, but you always steal the show and just like that girl you got my froze like a Nintendo 64. If you never knew well now, you know.” 
Youngjae: You were laying on the couch and you were trying to rest and you were finally beginning to fall asleep when your phone rang. You groaned and answered the phone, “What?!” Your best friend was a bit taken back, “Um, okay. Glad to hear from you too.” You sighed and sat up, “Sorry. I was just about to fall asleep and I’ve been trying to for the past half hour.” She apologized and you instantly remembered she called you, “So what did you need me for?” With that she said, “Oh yeah! Turn the TV on and turn it to channel 38.” You were confused but put it on there anyways. There you saw your boyfriend and his 6 other band members doing an interview. You were very confused but you decided to start it from the beginning so you could be caught up. Half way through you heard the interviewer, “So you wrote the song ‘Let Me’. Was there any person behind this or was it for Aghase?” You smiled and you turned it up as everyone looked at Youngjae. Youngjae then began to explain how it was made for his girlfriend and she was more than just an Aghase in his eyes.” You smiled and you just kept saying, “You’re my big dork Youngjae.”
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“Everywhere I go I’m always hearing your name and no matter where I’m at, girl you make me wanna sing. Whether a bus or a plane or a car or a train, no other girl’s on my brain and you the one to blame.”
Bambam: You were getting a call and you could hear it. You woke up and you answered the phone not noticing who was calling, “hello?” You asked in your ‘I’m half asleep so talk slowly’ voice. The other line was your boyfriend of 2 years now, “Baby! How are you?” You groaned and said, “Bammie, I was asleep. Did you forget about time differences?” He chuckled a bit and said, “Yeah. Sorry babe. I just couldn’t get you out of my head. I was just thinking about you and I just kept wondering, ‘Did she eat?’ or ‘Is she getting enough sleep?’ and my brain would sometimes wonder, ‘Does she even still love you?’ and it just freaked me out.” You would sigh at the love your boyfriend showed you. You didn’t worry much about it though, you knew Jaebum would take care of him but that left him to worry about you while he was on tour. You smiled and said, “Yes Bammie. Yes to all of those questions. You’re too kind baby.” He would chuckle nervously and say, “Thank you.” With that he let you go back to bed after exchanging “I love you’s” and telling each other good night before you finally drifted off back to bed.
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“Beautiful girls, all over the world I could be chasing but my time would be wasted they got nothing on you baby, nothing on you baby. They might say hi and I might say hey but you shouldn’t worry about what they say ‘cause they got nothing on you baby, nothing on you baby.”
Yugyeom: Your boyfriend’s group, Got7, was having a meet and greet at your hometown and you were super excited. You helped Yugyeom practice on his language skills so you could help him out with speaking the native language and hopefully communicate with the audience more. After the concert was over you were one of the people that purchased a ticket to go meet the boys as they actually signed stuff. You were smiling the whole time and watching the boys. Once you got up to the table you noticed the girl next to you was being very flirtatious with the boys as she went down the table and part of you wanted to strangle her and the other part of you just rolled your eyes at her. You couldn’t believe her attitude. But regardless you decided to have fun and greet the boys once again. They all said hello and they asked how you were doing and if you were eating right and getting enough sleep and you just couldn’t wait to get to your boyfriend. Once it was time to see your boyfriend you glared at the back of the girl that had previously flirted with your boyfriend before you. He made you look at him, “Baby, don’t worry. What have I told you?” You blushed and said, “You’re mine and only mine.” He smiled and nodded, “That’s right. Don’t you forget it okay?” You nodded and you got to see Yugyeom for a little while and it helped you with the reassurance you needed for the rest of their tour. 
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A/N: So it’s currently 11:45 pm where I live and fatigue just hit me like a train when I started to write BamBams reaction. But don’t worry. I finished it but I did cry when I wrote JB’s. I’m sorry it’s sad but the lyrics only reminded me of sad things. Nothing in those lyrics screamed awww cute to me. They just all sounded sad but don’t worry this won’t be the last time this happens I can guarantee that. Well, with that, I’m so happy you requested and I’m super excited and I hope you enjoy this one too love! <3  -Admin M 
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Text
Bad Brains
[1] [2] [3]
Chapter 4: At War with Myself.
(AO3) (FFnet)
November 15th, 1987
When El said goodbye to her old life, she had left everything behind and not looked back. She thought she could just drop everything and start over, with a new family, in a new town, at a new school, and a new outlook. She was right for the most part, but one thing she didn't account for were the nightmares.
God the nightmares.
It was like her own brain was betraying her. Every night she would go to sleep and be forced to relieve everything that she had gone through. Being passed around from home to home, every abusive foster parents, every meal she missed, every time she had been abandoned and left alone to fend for herself.
She lost count, after awhile, of all of the people and places she had met. All of their faces began to blur together into one ugly scowl of resentment and hatred. And in her dreams that same face taunted her, and chased her, and made her feel like the scum of the earth. She heard their voices, telling her that she wasn't good enough, that no one would ever love her. That she was doomed to spend her life unwanted and forgotten about.
These dreams always put her in a haze for the days that followed. Like a black cloud of self hatred and fear that she couldn't escape. The Therapist Hop made her see had told her it was normal, and that after a while it would go away, but that didn't make it any easier.
One more than one occasion her sobbing had woken Hopper up from his room down the hall,  he always tried his best to console her, but some things are just too painful to leave in the past, they just haunt you forever.
Tonight was different though. Instead of being woken up by her adoptive father gently holding her and telling her it would be okay, she woke up to complete and utter silence. She jolted upright, and tried to listen for the sounds of Hoppers breathing down the hallway, but there was nothing. No TV downstairs, no shuffling in the kitchen, no footsteps in the bathroom. It was strange, and unsettling, and it was far too reminiscent of all of the times this had happened in the past.
Waking up alone in a house you barely recognize, with no one around to hold you.
She swung her legs out from under her thick quilt into the cool night air. She tiptoed across her room and opened the door, not wanting to make a sound. She made her way to the staircase and listened hard for the usual sounds of the TV blaring some late night talk show below, but there was only silence in reply. She took a deep breath and descended the stairs.
She felt the breath leave her body when she saw his keys were still hanging up on the tiny hook next to his hat. He’s still here. She walked into the living room.
She could see his outline, wrapped in pulsing blue light from the TV screen. He was sitting in his usual chair, but instead of watching the program, he had set it on silent, and he was resting his head in his hand, the way he did when he was upset.
“Hop?” She said after a few seconds. Her voice so hoarse it was hardly more than a whisper.
Jim didn't say anything, instead he just stuck his arm out and waved El over. She complied, rounding his chair to face him. He had been crying, his skin was red and puffy and his eyes were badly bloodshot. She had never seen him cry before, he was always so strong.
“What's wrong?” Her own voice caught in her throat as if she had been the one crying.
He said nothing again, but he pulled her into a bear hug, holding her tightly as she curled into his lap. It was strange, but it also felt completely necessary. No one had held her, or hugged her, or cradled her in years, but it was something she didn't know she needed until tears started rolling down her cheeks.
They stayed that way for a long time. Both silent, the only noise spilling quietly from the TV in the corner. Jim rubbed her head, her hair was a mess of loose curls from her shower the night before. It was rare that she didn't have them slicked back and he always messed with them when he got the chance.
“I hope you know that I care about you more than anyone else in the world.” He finally said. His voice even more gravely than usual.
She pulled away from the hug to look at him, for the first time, finally seeing what he looked like when he cried. She could hear the sincerity in his voice, and read it in his eyes, but it was hard for her accept. “Why?” It was the only thing she could think to say.
“Because you needed someone to take care of you. Because you were all alone but you still acted so tough” He chuckled despite his tears. “And because while I thought I was just doing my job, just doing the right thing, I needed someone to take care of. I needed a reason to be a better person.” His voice was full of guilt and remorse. He sounded so vulnerable compared to how calloused he usually was.
With that she started crying harder. Her small frame shaking with her sobs. He hugged her closer and rocked her gently the way he used to with his own daughter.
“I just hope you know how much I love you, Kid. Even if it takes you the rest of your life to believe. I love you.”
El hugged her father tighter. His words were hard to swallow, because not long ago she wouldn't have been able to believe him. But now that they were all each other had, she knew she had to start the process of forgiving herself for all of the things she blamed herself for, and move on. When everyone leaves you, you start to assume it's your fault, but Jim never let her think for a second that it was.
“I know Jim. I love you too.”
November 20th, 1987
The next week flew by.
Max’s evil plan had gone off without a hitch. Thompson cancelled his classes for two days while he and the janitor cleaned up the mess. They had no leads as to who the perpetrators were because, after all, he was the most hated teacher in school.
Max and El started spending more and more time with the Geek Team, or the ‘Party’ as they called it. Max, Dustin and Lucas formed an unlikely bond and hung out almost every chance they got. They often rode around together, the boys on their bikes and Max on her board, to the arcade after school. Rumor has it that Max even went with them to the library one day so Dustin could show her his favorite book about the history of practical jokes.
El and Will bonded pretty quickly too. It turns out that little Byers had a pretty expansive music taste.
“I should have known!” El had told Will after finding his The Clash mix in his backpack. “Jonathan complimented me on my Talking Heads shirt on the first day of school. He was like the first person to ever talk to me here.”
Then began a daily routine of gushing over new albums and songs, and debating the merits of one band over another. They made each other mixtapes and often walked to and from the classes they shared, squishing their heads together to listen to Els dinky headphones.
The only one who seemed out of place was Mike. Ever since Max told him the way El felt, a concept he still had trouble believing, he found it really hard to be around with her without turning into a big dope. He was almost jealous of Wills connection with her, but ultimately he was just happy Will had found someone he had so much in common with.
It was a grouping that rattled the entire High School social ladder. Could scary punk girls really be friends with scrawny nerds? Could brainiacs really stand hanging around cigarette smoking, thick-skulled, freaks? It was weird, that was for sure, but it didn't really start to freak anyone out until the first day that they all sat together at lunch.
“Holy shit are they coming to eat with us!?” Dustin spat as the two girls, lunch trays in hand, slowly made their way across the cafeteria.
“Why wouldn't they? They are our friends aren't they?” Mike said, pushing his gross mushy peas around on the plastic tray.
“Well yeah! But sitting with someone at lunch is a way bigger deal than just hanging out in between classes. Once you eat lunch with someone you are socially cemented together for life!”
“Stop being so dramatic.” Lucas flicked Dustin's ear. “I'm just glad they aren't eating out behind the dumpster like usual. That's what’s weird.”
The girls walked over, faining obliviousness to the blatant stairs from around the room, and plopped down at the boys table. Max taking a seat next to Lucas, and El squeezing herself in between Will and Mike.
“So what are we doing today?” Max said with a mouthful of bread.
“What do you mean?” Will asked.
“Its friday, as in the weekend, as in no school so we need to do something fun.”
“We could go to the arcade!” Lucas chimed.
“Ugh no we do that like everyday and i'm out of money.” Max groaned. The other boys nodded and mumbled something about being broke too.
“Okay well... We could go to the library.” Dustin contemplated.
“I mean I guess, but that hardly sounds like an exciting weekend.” Max rolled her eyes.
Mike thought about all of the things that might be fun to do, but he figured that most of them were too dorky for El and Max to want to be a part of. He looked over at El and watched her passively stab at her food. Mostly just mixing it around rather than eating it.
“Everything okay?” He asked her quietly. It's not like the other could hear over Dustin and Max’s bickering anyway.
“Huh?” She looked up at him, suddenly snapped back to reality. “Oh yeah. Everything is fine I just... i'm failing geometry and my dad is totally going to freak out on me. Mrs. Lawrence asked me to stay after class and everything. I doubt i'll be able to do anything this weekend.”
“Oh that really sucks.” He mused. Mike had never failed anything in his life, and he could only imagine the wrath of his mother if he ever did. He had always enjoyed math in all of its forms, he excelled at it. He was even Mrs. Lawrence's star pupil, a title that earned him a lot of torment.
“Are you hearing this shit El!?” Max hollered from across the table. El jumped from the startle of being yelled at and looked up. “They told me there is a cool junk yard on a hill! It has a bunch of old broken down cars and TV’s and stuff!”
“That sounds cool.” El smiled with a slight nod. “But I don't think I can hang out today.”
“Well your loss then, i'm totally going to smash in some windows.” Max high-fived Dustin and Lucas and they planned their entire trip.
The rest of the day went by in a fog for El. The emotional interaction she had with Hopper just a few days before had put her in a weird headspace. She really was learning to love him, even if it terrified her. He was goofy, and protective, and above all else he was trying. So she wanted to try too.
El had always been great with anything English related. When she didn't have anyone to play with or talk to, books became her best friends. So while she had an A in English Lit., and in her creative writing class, math was another story. She hated it. Numbers made no sense to her. Not the way words did. But, she had promised herself to stay out of detention, and to get her grades up, and if that meant suffering through after school study sessions with her teacher then so be it.
After her final class of the day, she made the long walk of shame back to Mrs. Lawrence's classroom and waved goodbye to Max, Dustin, and Lucas who were all going off to the junkyard.
“Good afternoon Ms. Hopper.” Lawrence said from behind her romance novel. “Why don't you take a seat while we wait for your tutor to arrive.”
“Tutor?” El gaped. Her heart started racing at the thought of having to spend the next three hours with some asshole, mouth breathing, brainiac who would no doubt belittle and talk down to her the entire time.
“Yes dear. Here he comes now.”
El swiveled around to watch her dreaded mentor walk through. But instead of some rude, gossipy stranger it none other than;
“Mike!?” Els mouth fell open, and then turned into a wide grin. Three hours alone with Mike in the quiet library? That didn't sound too bad at all.
“Mr. Wheeler has the highest grade of all my students” Mrs. Lawrence beamed, standing up from her desk with a stack of papers that she handed to Mike. “This is everything Ms. Jane needs to get caught up on. I know its a lot but if anyone can help her it's you.”
“Yeah no problem, it's my pleasure.” Mike smiled coyly at El and she blushed.
The two of them walked slowly toward the schools library where a couple of other students were studying. It was mostly empty and really quite. They found a private corner with two cozy chairs and a small table between them and set up the stacks of papers, sharp pencils, and textbooks. El and Mike couldn't stop stealing quick glances at each other.
El pulled her legs up into her chair so she was criss-cross, and leaning over her hardly used textbook. Mike noticed the tiny doodles all over the tips of her converse, and the way she nervously picked at her chipped black nail polish. When Mrs. Lawrence had asked him to tutor someone after school he had practically jumped out of his skin, knowing it would be El. And now he got to watch the way her nose wrinkled in confusion at problems she didn't understand, and the way she rubbed the bridge of her nose the way he had seen Chief Hopper do whenever he had to come to the school to break up a fight.
“So...” Mike started, remembering a key piece of information that Mrs. Lawrence had told him. El looked up, her doe eyes expectant. “Jane?”
El's wide eyes somehow shot open wider and her mouth dropped open into a half surprised, half smiling, glare. “Do not call me that!” She slammed her textbook closed and pointed a finger at him. He couldn't help but laugh.
“Why not? Jane is a good name.” He snickered.
“Oh my god no its not! It's a name for a grandma!” She rubbed her temples. “I haven't gone by Jane since I was like 6. It's not me.”
“Well where does El come from then?”
“It was a nickname an old friend gave me a long time ago. Its short for Eleven.” She shrugged, her cheeks turning a brilliant shade of pink. Eleven had been her bed number at the massive foster home she stayed at. Everyone called each other by their bed numbers, or their home cities. Keeping a level of unfamiliarity between each other, because they knew nothing was permanent.
“Eleven? Like the number?” His nose crinkled in confusion.
“Its... kind of a long story.” El's smile faded as she glanced at her shoes.
“Well I think Jane is cute.” He smiled at her. His freckles rising and falling on his cheeks.
El's heart constricted and her stomach twisted itself into little buzzing knots, and just like that, she was grinning again. He was so nice, and sweet, and adorable! It made her feel like her protective walls were coming down and it horrified her.
‘God I am such a sucker.’
He was still staring at her and her heart only beat faster.
‘Shit what would Max do? What would Max say? Max wouldn't be a little coward.’
“Well I think you're cute.” She said, turning her nose up just slightly the way Max always did. Mikes eyes flew open and now it was hit turn to redden and bury his face in his hands.
“Lets... lets just study okay?” He said under his breath with an embarrassed grin.
El opened her book again and they started tackling one assignment after another. Mike really was great at geometry, and he was even good at explaining it in a way that made sense. A couple of times he had shifted to the very edge of his seat so that their knees were touching. He would lean over the book in her lap and point to various problems on the page and simplify them for her. She loved watching the way he pushed up the sleeves of his long polo when he got invested in explaining a problem, and the way he bit his lips when he focused. She was actually having fun while learning!
Every time she looked up from her notes, the sight of him made her head swim. She couldn't quite figure it out. Why did he make her feel this way? It was all so new and unfamiliar. They had very little in common, at least from what she knew about him, and if it weren't for Lucas and Dustin wanting to be daredevils all of the sudden then they would never have hung out in the first place. Mike was painfully dorky, and painfully different than anyone El had ever imagined herself being with, and yet she imagined being with him all the time. What was it about him that drew her in?
For Mike it was much of the same. El was definitely the last person he ever expected to be making heart-eyes at in the Library. She certainly wasn't the type of girl that his parents would want him bringing home (although they would probably be happy with him bringing any girl home). But everything about her fascinated him. At first it seemed like maybe it was just the fact that she was the first girl to ever really talk to him, or laugh at his jokes, or invite him to hang out. He assumed it would wear off and she would become just his good friend the way Max was, but the longer they spent time together the more intense his feelings became. Suddenly it was like everything she did filled him with fascination and adoration.
She was a mystery that he wanted to solve. He closed his book and stretched, feeling a bit stiff from leaning over his notes for so long.
“El?” He asked tentatively, wanting to get to the bottom of at least some part of all this. She looked up at him curiously with those warm doe eyes of hers. “What... what is your deal?” He wasn't really sure how to put it, but he knew that that probably wasn't it.
“My deal?” El asked raising her eyebrows and looking somewhat offended.
“Shit I didn't mean it like that... I just mean like...” He thought for a second, wanting to find better words this time. “I have just never met anyone like you before, and I never thought someone like you would want to talk to someone like me, let alone hang out with me. And I have never been to Chicago so I don't know what people look like or act like there but you are just so different from what I thought you would be.” By the end of his speech he was mumbling and speeding through his words.
El laughed and closed her book. “Haven't you ever heard the saying ‘Don't Judge a book by its cover?’ She waved her textbook at him. She was still smiling, so that was a good sign, wasn't it?
“Well yeah of course I have I just mean-”
“You just mean that you thought I was going to be some angry, bitter, feminist, psycho who would rather kick your teeth than be seen talking to a nerd.” El interrupted, still smiling but also still completely dejected.
“No no not at all!” Mike back-peddled. El raised her eyebrows and he caved. “Okay yeah maybe a little.”
“Well there are a lot of things you don't know about me.” El crossed her arms and leaned back in her chair. “I might be a little bitter, and a little angry but you would be too if you had seen the things that I have seen. But i'm not mean, at least not to people who don't deserve it.”
Mike felt like an idiot. “You're right. I don't really know anything about you, but I would like too.”
She eyed him carefully. He was getting way too close for comfort with her emotions. “We are just from completely different planets okay? You wouldn't get it.”
Now it Mikes turn to be offended. He may not share her experiences but he considered himself a fairly empathetic person. “You don't know that I wouldn't get it. There is a lot you don't know about me either.”
“Let's see about that.” El snorted, sitting forward to look directly at him. “I'll bet your parents are still together, and super in love. I bet your dad has a good job and makes a ton of money so your mom gets to stay home all day baking cakes. I bet when your dad comes home at night your mom drops everything and hands him a beer and rubs his feet. I bet they love and support you and give you everything you have ever wanted.” Her eyes were like daggers, piercing through him.
Mike scoffed and shook his head. “Now who is judging who? I'll have you know that my dad is a bastard. I wish my parents would just split up already because they may as well be complete strangers. My dad thinks I am a loser and my mom tries her best, I guess, but they both basically don't pay any attention to me.” He was raising his voice slightly, talking about his family always put him on edge. El just stared at him silently, clearly not expecting the outburst.
“I'm the only boy, and my dad wanted so badly for me to be into sports and be all athletic like he was in school, but i'm not and I know he resents me for it. So yeah, maybe I have had a good comfortable life with two parents in a nice house, and maybe my parents do love me but the definitely don't like me.” Mike slumped back in his chair with his arms crossed tightly against himself.
El softened, realizing that all of that was probably really hard for him to say. She put a hand on his knee despite him looking away from her. “Look i'm sorry. I didn't mean to come off like a bitch, okay? I know what's it's like to have an asshole father. Believe me.”
Mike turned towards her and dropped his arms into his lap. El was still holding his knee but she was staring solemnly at the ground. “Is... Is that why Hopper adopted you? Because of your dad?” He asked in almost a whisper.
El took a deep breath and nodded. She could feel her protective force field falling down around her, and as much at it terrified her, it also felt like maybe it was the right thing to do. Maybe it was better to talk about it.
“Yeah. Kind of. It's a lot.... that I don't really want to get into.” She pulled her hand from Mike's leg to play with the frays on her shoe laces nervously.
“You don't have to tell me if you don't want to. But i'm here if you need to talk.” He patted her arm gently and it made her smile.
“Thanks. It's just hard to think about.” She took a sobering breath and gained her composure. “I was really little so I don't remember very much, so I guess that's good. But before Hopper found me I was living on the streets with some other foster kids. I looked up to them a lot and they showed me all about music, and art, and about how corrupt society is. We ran away and it was scary but it felt really exciting to be part of something for the first time. We were like a family..”
“Do you miss them?” Mike asked quietly.
El shrugged.. “Sometimes. But they bailed on me too. That's when Hopper found me, and I am really grateful for that.” She grinned crookedly. She had only ever really opened up to Max about any of that, and it wasn't even scratching the surface of what she was holding onto. But saying it all out loud made it easier somehow, like it wouldn't weigh on her so heavily.
“Well i'm glad you are here now, and that you have a family, and new friends.” He smiled at her, leaning in closer, their faces only a few inches apart. “Because we would never leave you or hurt you.”
“You can’t know that.” She dropped her gaze from his to her hands in her lap.
“I promise.” He grabbed her hands in his and squeezed them lightly. “Our parties number one rule is that friends don't lie.” He tilted his head under hers so that she was forced to look at him, and could see that he meant it. “And besides, if I can put up with Lucas and Dustin after all of these years then i’m sure you will be no problem at all.” He flashed a silly grin at her and it made her chuckle.
“Okay then. It's a promise.” She pulled from his grasp and held her hand out firmly for him to shake. He did so sternly and they both giggled, turning red in the face.
Usually El didn’t care about someone else's promise, because no one had ever kept their word to her before, but something about Mike seemed so trustworthy. She still had a difficult time with even the idea of opening up. She still blamed herself for so much, and with Mikes kindness and honestly, it just felt like too much. Like she didn't deserve it. Like he would, at any moment, realize that she was a mess, and he and the rest of the party were far better off without her. That they would leave her too, but at least she was willing to try. Mike made her want to try.
Three long dreaded hours had flown by in only minutes, and before either of them knew it, the Librarians as informing them that the library would be closing.
“So did any of that help?” Mike asked as he shoved his notebooks back into his backpack.
“Yeah actually, it helped a lot. I think I can probably finish the rest of this over the weekend.” She smiled at him and stood up, slinging her bag over her shoulder.
They both made their way outside into the chilly November evening. The sun was still about an hour from setting, but everything was vaguely tinted a pale shade of autumn orange. They both stood in awkward silence for a few minutes, neither wanting to say goodbye just yet.
Mike reached up and rubbed the back of his neck, looking at the ground. “I um... I had fun hanging out with you.” His pale freckles were awash in red blush.
“I had fun hanging out with you too.” El punched his arm playfully. “And if I need any help with my homework this weekend, i'll call you.”
“Sounds good.” He beamed, smiling wider than he meant to. “Okay well... I guess I will see you later?”
“Yeah see you around.” El hugged her denim jacket tighter around herself and prepared for the walk home. Mike turned around and shuffled off towards the bike rack, when El remembered something. “Hey Mikey?” She hollered.
He whipped around so quickly that he tripped over his own feet, making her giggle. “Yeah what's up?” He semi-jogged back over to her.
She dug into her backpack and pulled out her Walkman. She pressed the little eject button and the tape deck popped open. “Here, why don't you listen to this over the weekend and report back to me with what you think on Monday. That way you have homework too.” She grinned.
“Yeah sounds awesome!” He blurted. She giggled again.
“Okay, Wheeler. See ya.” She waved goodbye one last time and turned away, walking up the long hill towards home. She reached reflexively for the pack of cigarettes in her pocket and lit one, letting warm smoke waft into the fall air around her. It was one of the first times in a long time that she wasn't using it to calm her nerves, because the nerves she felt were strangely comforting.
Mike held the little plastic tape in his hands and felt warm blush cross his face for what must have been the hundredth time that evening.
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bxxpbxxprichie · 6 years
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Warning: Mentions of making out, boners, cussing
@reddietoship
“Alright, Richie. It’s your turn.”
Richie hummed, and rubbed his chin as if deep in thought, although he already knew his answer. “Dare!” He never denied a dare, they were his favorite.
Bev grinned, and looked around the room for a minute. Eddie was the only one missing, having gone to the bathroom to wash his hands vigorously after letting Ben lick his palm.
“The whole week before Halloween, you have to scare Eddie in any way you can.” Bev told him, now smirking wide.
“Fuck that!” Richie Tozier just denied his first dare ever. He knew better than that, Eddie would kill him before the week was over. Or worse, break up with him.
“No, c’mon, Rich! It’ll totally be fun!” Bev told him.
Richie shook his head, “Nope, nu uh, I’ll take the sriracha shot.” He reached for the bottle, and the, so far, clean shot glass
“Richie, c’mon,” Bill piped up, “It’ll totally be fun for us! I’ll even throw in a twenty if you scare him once a day.”
That gave Richie an idea. How much money could he get out of this?
“No, not for twenty.” Richie shook his head again, and began pouring the shot.
“I’ll throw in ten.” Ben said grinning.
“I’ll give a five.” Mike nodded.
“Me too, but five’s all I’ve got.” Bev told him.
“I’ll give another ten.” Stan smirked, “If fifty dollars is all it takes for him to break up with you, I’ll pay the price.”
Richie raised his eyebrows, and put the shot glass down on the table.
Richie Tozier now had a mission. A mission that was probably going to get him killed. But honestly, he couldn't deny a dare, nor could he deny the sweet fifty dollars he was getting from the rest of the group to do this. He just genuinely hoped Eddie would forgive him. He was sure a fifty dollar date could cure it, maybe. Ah, who was he kidding? He was going to have so much fucking fun with this.
SEVEN DAYS UNTIL HALLOWEEN
Richie crashed at Eddie's the night before, which definitely made it easy for him. He hadn't brought his supplies over last night for today's scare, but he did tell Mike to bring it over. He quietly crept out of Eddie's bed and down the stairs. He met Mike in the empty Kaspbrak driveway, and thanked the Lord that Sonia was out. He could get away with this without her freaking out too.
Mike handed over the supplies with a cheeky grin and a shake of his head. Richie only nodded in response, shot him a wink, and headed back inside the Kaspbrak house.
Still sleep rumpled, Richie tiptoed up the steps and into Eddie's room. He zipped open the bag as softly as he could, and pulled out the head. It was quite mangled looking, with bulging eyes, rotted teeth, and green gunk trailing out of every orifice. He had to restrain his giddy giggles as he tied a string around the hook on the crown of the head, and attached it to a pole.
He bit his tongue as he padded quietly across the floor and settled the head where his own had been laying minutes before. It was facing Eddie. Richie stood on the other side of Eddie, and as softly as he could, spoke.
“Eddie, baby.” He whispered into his boyfriend's ear, even going so far as to press a little kiss to it. “Wake up, we've got to get ready for school.”
Eddie stirred, and that's when Richie lifted the head a bit.
Eddie definitely woke up then.
A loud screech left the short boys mouth as he smacked his hands at the disgusting, floating head, his body scooting back until he fell off the bed. Richie attempted to catch him, but didn't do to well as he was also now on the floor, laughing his ass off.
Eddie's whole face was red as he glared at Richie, “Are you fucking kidding me?” He growled, standing up from the floor and dusting himself off.
Richie couldn't respond, he was laughing way too hard.
SIX DAYS UNTIL HALLOWEEN
Earlier that morning, Richie had snuck into the boy's locker room during Eddie's gym period. He, of course, knew the combination to Eddie's lock so it was an easy in. He pulled it open, and grabbed for the boys fanny pack. He unzipped it, and as meticulously as he could, extracted the others inhaler.
This was probably a stupid idea. But when were Richie's ideas not stupid?
He had a couple of little plastic bugs that he stuck in the mouthpiece of the inhaler. He knew Eddie did his best to not use the thing at all anymore, but he knew an exact way to get him to use it.
And that's where they were now. Lunch period. All of the losers were sitting outside, enjoying their food and the fall air. However, Eddie had somehow ended up in Richie’s lap, and the two of them might have been hardcore making out. It wasn't an uncommon sight, honestly. They played tonsil hockey rather often around the others.
Any time Eddie started to pull away, Richie didn't let him. He had to do this a few times before he was sure. Eddie always used his inhaler when things got a little too heated in public. It was his way of signaling the need to calm down, without explicitly saying it.
Richie finally allowed Eddie to pull away, but not without tugging on his bottom lip. He gave the boy a smirk as he unzipped his fanny pack and dug his inhaler out.
Just as he was about to put the mouthpiece to his lips, he stopped. His whole body jolted and he threw the inhaler away with a shout.
“What is it, baby cakes?” Richie asked with a smirk.
“B-bugs..in my...that's so gross...how the...what else did they get into?!” Eddie tore his fanny pack off and ripped himself out of Richie’s lap. He dumped everything out of his fanny pack and screeched when a lone bug fell out.
And then he actually looked at it.
“You dick! You could've killed me! What if I'd used it without looking!” He smacked Richie’s arm about a billion times.
“I wasn't going to let you inhale a plastic bug, Eddiekins. No worries.” He was laughing again. Richie couldn't help it.
“Go get my inhaler, asshole.”
FIVE DAYS UNTIL HALLOWEEN
Richie was happy that Eddie had calmed down since yesterday. The bugs in his inhaler had really pissed him off. Richie was sort of surprised that there were any still in the mouth piece, but either way it would have worked out.
He was laying with Eddie on the boys bed, combing his fingers through his loose hair as the other worked on homework. Richie was also scribbling down the odd answer, not really too focused on his school work at the moment. He was trying to make Eddie sleepy. He knew it was working when his pencil fell out of his fingers.
Richie continued on playing with his hair for the next few minutes. He really wanted to make sure the other was asleep. He finally got up and went to work. He had smuggled in plastic spider's and cobwebs.
The package crinkled all too loudly, so he went into the bathroom to open both of them up. The began with the cobwebs, stringing them across the room and on his bed, on his dresser and his desk. It looked like no one had been in the room for years.
Satisfied, Richie weaved himself through the web and began strategically setting up spider's. He had at least twenty of them covering the space.
But he left the best for last.
A rather large, rather real looking tarantula was to hang from the ceiling and in front of Eddie's face. As carefully as possible, Richie attached it to Eddie's ceiling. He had to use his desk chair to reach, but he made it.
He settled himself back next to Eddie, and waited. He watched the tarantula softly swing back and forth in front of the others face, guided by his soft snores.
Finally the swinging went far enough, and it bumped into his nose. Eddie startled awake. A girlish squeal left his lips and he kicked and punched at the swinging spider before it fell. His eyes met the rest of the room and he screamed again, shocked.
Boy, did he look angry when his brain woke up more.
“RICHARD TOZIER!”
“Hey babe!”
“YOU’D BETTER CLEAN THIS UP! NOW!”
FOUR DAYS UNTIL HALLOWEEN
Richie was excited for this one. He even convinced Ben and Mike to help. Ben was more on the refusing side, not wanting anything to do with Richie’s pranks, but he finally convinced him.
Mike and Ben sealed him up in a box and carried him to Eddie's front door. They knocked a few times before rushing off and Richie sat in silence.
He knew Eddie was home.
Finally, he heard the creaking of the floorboards near the front door, and the door opening slowly, as if Eddie was expecting him.
He heard a huff, and shuffling away, before he came back. “Richie, I swear to God if this is another prank, I'm kicking your ass.”
Richie had to restrain himself from chuckling, and broke out from the top of the box, screaming loudly.
Eddie squealed and punched at him, effectively landing a few on his chest.
Richie grunted a few times before grabbing his boyfriend's hands.
“Let me go!” Eddie yelled. “You're such a fucking asshole, Tozier!”
Richie tugged the clown mask off his face to grin widely at Eddie.
“But you still love me, right?”
“Fuck you.”
THREE DAYS UNTIL HALLOWEEN
Tonight's prank was stupid. Richie knew that. But he was grinding down to nothing at this point. His ideas were getting dry.
And maybe he was playing down for the next two days so that one ahead would be particularly bad.
He was an asshole. He knew.
He really wasn't trying that hard with this one either.
He had a small bottle of red food coloring in his pocket. All of the losers were eating pizza together at Bill's house, and watching horror movies.
When Eddie turned away from him, Richie pulled out the bottle and squirted a bit of it up his nose. It resulted in him sneezing, but at least now it looked less like he'd just poured it up his nose and more like his nose was bleeding.
“Ah, shit.” Richie muttered to himself, swiping at his nose with his arm.
“Wha-Richie! Don't smear that all over your skin that's gross!” Eddie screeched, scooting away from his boyfriend.
“No, no, it's fine. I've been having them for the past few days.” Richie stood and started to head to the bathroom to clean up.
“What? The last few days? Then there's something wrong! You need to go to the doctor!” Eddie followed him.
“No babe, it's fine. It's nothing.” He turned on the faucet and started cleaning it off his arms.
“No Richie, it's not fine! You probably have a brain tumor or something!” Eddie huffed.
Richie shook his head, and continued rubbing the dye off of his arm. It was staining his skin, which wasn't good. He leaned under the faucet and started scrubbing at his face, not wanting the red there for who knows how long.
“...Richie I swear to god, if this is another prank.” Eddie growled from his side.
Richie lifted his head from the sink and gave his boyfriend a sheepish grin.
“At least you didn't scare me that much this time…” Eddie turned and left the bathroom, slamming the door behind him.
TWO DAYS UNTIL HALLOWEEN
Today was another easy day. Today he was just going to periodically sneak up on the boy and scare him. This was sure to be fun, even if his boyfriend refused to kiss him before he went home.
The first time he did it before class started, rushing up behind him and grabbing his side's. Eddie flinched and gasped before realizing it was Richie and smacking his arm.
Richie didn't get a good morning kiss.
The second time Richie just saw him in the hallway on accident between classes. Just before the boy reached his classroom, Richie put a hand around his mouth, and his other snaked around his waist. He could hear the muffled scream, before Eddie turned around and stomped all too hard on Richie’s toes.
“God dammit! I thought I was safe on this side of the school!” Eddie huffed.
Richie just grinned, and pecked the boy’s lips, before hopping off to his own class.
The third time had been on accident. He’d just come around a corner and the two of them smacked right into each other. It had startled Eddie enough to drop his books. Maybe not so much as a scare, but it still happened...and Eddie blamed him.
The last time was probably the best. Richie told Eddie to meet him at his truck after school, instead of on the front steps. When Eddie approached his car, Richie hopped out of the bed and landed in front of him, yes, scaring him.
“Fuck you. I’ll walk home.”
It was a fake threat, but Richie decided that was the last one, simply because he wanted to keep a hold of his balls.
ONE DAY UNTIL HALLOWEEN
Richie knew this one would piss Eddie off more than anything. And he almost felt bad, but he was running out of ideas here and tomorrow was the last one. He was going to go easy on Eddie for the last one.
He had invited Eddie over to his house because he knew the other would freak out even more if he'd done this in his room.
But Richie wasn't going to mind if the red didn't come out of his floor. Honestly, it would just be a reminder of this amazing week.
Richie had Bev help him this time. She was rather good at makeup. She made it look like he'd been hit in the back of the head with something. The gash was rather large and real looking and Richie knew Eddie was going to kill him for real this time.
He laid, face down, on his floor, and Bev went to work. She made it look like a real crime scene before shoving herself in the closet and hiding.
It was another ten minutes before Eddie started coming up the stairs.
“Richie you'd better not be planning anything else!”
He could hear him loud and clear.
His bedroom door swung open. “Rich-”
A sob sounded through the room, and Richie felt his heart break. This wasn't a good prank, not at all. He stilled his breathing as much as possible.
Eddie rolled Richie over onto his back and pulled him into his lap, blubbering and crying. Richie could feel tears hitting his cheeks.
Eddie started hyperventilating and that's when Richie knew he had to stop. He sat up quickly and held Eddie's head to his chest. “I’m sorry… I'm sorry…”
Eddie punched him harder than he had the whole time.
HALLOWEEN
Richie had something simple planned for the day. It wasn't a big deal. He really wasn't even planning to do it until later tonight.
So when he rounded the corner in the school, and a scream sounded out, Richie knew he didn't even have to do his prank tonight.
He'd already scared Eddie.
“God damnit, Richie! I'm fucking tired of this shit! Yesterday was fucking terrible! I can't get that image out of my mind, you ass! And now you're hopping around corners to fucking jump scare me?! No! I'm fucking done, Richard.” A finger was jamming harshly into his chest. “I'm. Fucking. Done. You're the worst boyfriend in the goddamn world and I'm not fucking taking it any more! It's over, Richie! I'm not...I can't…”
Richie could physically see Eddie's anger dissolve into exhaustion, and his heart broke. “Hey,...I'm sorry, baby. I shouldn't have done this… I mean it was fun for a little bit but…” he brushed some of Eddie's hair out of his face. “I just wanted to have money for once. To take you out on a nice date, you know?”
“You did this for money? For me?” Eddie asked, stepping a bit closer to Richie.
“Yeah...I did. I'm sorry it hurt you so much.” Richie pressed his forehead against Eddie's.
“I'm sorry too...for getting mad.” Eddie tells him, voice soft.
“It's okay. I deserved it.” Richie grinned down at Eddie. “But that's it. It's over. I can collect my money and take my boy out on a good damn date.”
“You'd fucking better, Tozier. You're still in the dog house.”
And he did. The day after Halloween, Richie took Eddie to a nice restaurant in Bangor. He let him pick anything he wanted. The bill amounted to about forty dollars for the both of them. After they had full bellies, they went on a short walk in the park, killing time before their movie.
“I’m sorry, again.” Richie told him, lifting his hand up to press a kiss to it.
Eddie shrugged, “It’s okay, just next time tell me what’s happening. If we can get more money out of those guys let's do it.”
Richie grinned down at his boyfriend, “You’re an evil little thing, aren’t you?”
“Did it take you this long to find out?” Eddie teased right back, “You must be a lot slower than I thought, Trashmouth.”
“Hey, that’s not nice.” Richie pouted, bumping his hip softly against Eddie’s.
“Who said I was ever nice?” Eddie retorted, shifting to wrap his arm around his boyfriends waist.
Richie lifted his arm to drape across Eddie’s shoulders.
“Hm...I think Bill said it one time, but I can’t be sure… You know, the stutter and all...makes it a little hard… you know what else is a little hard?”
“Beep beep, Richie!”
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