#my brain made this connection after I finished the series

[wonwoosthetic]

Hi can you do anything that’s pre-outbreak of Joel and reader anniversary. It can be smut but the beginning can be Joel and Sarah planning the anniversary! I love their relationship so much

series masterlist

pairing – pre-outbreak!joel x reader

word count – 11.6k (this was supposed to be short and sweet... what happened...)

warnings – slight injuries, hospital scene but nothing major, cute smut (18+)

a/n – some more cute domestic joel stuff 🥺 with some smut hehe 😬 thank you for the request <3 I hope you like what I made with it ˙ᵕ˙ also just want to quickly take the time and thank you guys for all the love on my previous joel work, you actually made my app crash 😅🤭

Happy Anniversary?

2000

After Sarah had finished her homework at the Adler's place, she ran home and hopped onto the couch to enjoy some child-friendly TV - being stuck in a house with only people over sixty wasn't really her favourite way of spending her free time.

It didn't surprise her when her dad wasn't home at six. It also didn't surprise her when he wasn't there yet at seven. Around eight in the afternoon though, she started to wonder. The only way she could reach him was the landline, so she leaned over the armrest of the sofa to get a hold of the phone before dialling the number her father had made her know by heart back in kindergarten. It didn't even ring. The robot's voice immediately let her know that he was unavailable. With scrunched eyebrows and her lips pressed together in a tight line, she leaned back into the cushions.

There was one other person that would probably know where he was. You. Another number Joel had asked her to learn once he had noticed that things were getting serious between the two of you. The girl didn't need to wait for long before the familiar tone of your voice rang through her eyes.

"Hello?" Of course, you had the number of Joel's landline saved in your phone, but you didn't know who of the Miller household was calling.

"Hi, Y/N!"

"Oh, Sarah, hey! How are you?"

Sarah smiled, just like she always did whenever she got to talk to you. The relationship the two of you had built up over the past year she had known you, was something very special. Not only did she love the connection you, from one woman to another, but she truly felt like you had a close friendship she wouldn't want to give up. Ever.

"I'm good, thanks, how are you?"

You sighed, "Good… now that I'm home."

"Adult work isn't getting any more exciting?" She joked, making you chuckle.

"Exactly." A second of silence passed before you noticed nothing coming from her side. "Are you okay?"

Sarah made herself more comfortable on the couch, "Yup… sorry that I called you-"

"Don't worry, sweetie, trust me, hearing you right now has been the best part of the entire day."

Your comment made her grin even wider, "Well I'm happy to make your day better," to which you both giggled. "I was just wondering if you've heard anything from dad. Did he say he has to work late today?"

You let her question register in your brain before you went through the conversation you had with Joel last night since you haven't heard from today yet. "Ehm… no, I don't think he said anything about that. Isn't he home yet?"

Sarah shook her head before realising, you can't see her, "No, so I kinda thought, maybe he's still at work, but… now I don't know."

"Maybe something came up-"

"He isn't picking up." That made you go quiet. "I tried calling him, and it just went straight to his voicemail."

You bit your lip. Oh, God. You knew the stress of a parent not being at home at the usual time just all too well, remembering all the times it had happened to you as a kid and you immediately thought of the worst-case scenario.

"What about uncle Tommy?" You suggested.

The girl was just about to open her mouth and answer when the front door opened. Her head snapped to her left, eyes immediately on the familiar figure of her father entering the room.

"Wow…" she breathed out.

"What? What is it?" You hastily wondered.

"Speaking of the devil," you could hear the slight annoyance in her voice, "Guess who just walked through the door?" Joel sent her a questioning look as he walked further into the living room, throwing himself onto the couch, right next to his daughter.

You couldn't help but chuckle, "Hm… maybe your father, who once again decided to work longer and not tell us about it?"

"Mh," she grinned before turning to the man and shaking her head with a frown on her face.

A breath of relief fell from your lips as you got up from your position on one of the armchairs in your living room, "Well then, mystery solved. You better interrogate the heck out of him."

"Without you?" She gasped.

"Oh, trust me, he'll get a good talking-to from me tomorrow." Your answer received a grin from the girl, followed by a subtle devilish giggle.

"Good. Thank you for picking up, not like some other people here." Her comment was clearly directed to her father, earning her a soft shove to her upper arm, making her grin.

You smiled, "Anytime, sweetie. I guess I have to go back to my boring life now. I'll see you tomorrow."

"Yep!" The happiness and excitement radiated off that little girl, lightning up the sparkle in her eyes at the mention of the following day. "See ya! Good night, Y/N."

"Good night, Sarah."

The youngest Miller placed the phone back on the side table, before turning to the oldest one, crossing her arms in front of her chest. She cleared her throat, "What do you have to say in your defence, Sir?" Her eyes followed his movements as he leaned back into the sofa with a groan, running a hand over his face.

"I forgot to tell you-"

"Oh, really!" She quickly exclaimed, interrupting Joel, receiving a warning glance from him, making her sulk back into the cushions.

"So as I was saying," he glanced at her, "I'm sorry that I forgot to tell you that I'd be in town after work. And I forgot to charge my phone."

Sarah scrunched her eyebrows, "What were you doing in town?"

Joel groaned, getting up to look for some food in the kitchen, "I wanted to get something for Y/N for tomorrow."

His answer made the girl laugh out loud as she got up to join him in the other room, sitting down at the dining table, "Are you serious?"

He looked up at her from his crouched position as he was trying to find something to eat in the fridge. "What?"

His daughter shook her head, "You're looking for an anniversary gift one day before your anniversary?"

Joel took out the container holding dinner from two days ago, grinning when it reminded him of you. Always making sure there was food in the house he lived in. You cared for him. And his daughter. "I've been thinking about what to get her for a few days, alright? But I haven't had the time to actually go and look for it," he defended himself, but it didn't get the look off the girl's face.

"And what did you find?"

He sighed, "Nothing. That's the problem."

"What are you gonna do now?"

"I have no idea…" Sarah could tell how exhausted he must be with the heavy breath leaving his lips. But the fact that he truly cared about getting you something special made her ecstatic. "You hungry?" Her father wondered, getting a shake of her head in response,

"I ate earlier." She shot up from her seat and skipped over into the kitchen, "So?! What are you gonna do?" Leaning on the counter, eyeing her dad suspiciously as he took a bite of the cold food with a fork. That also earned him a weird look from her, but he just wanted to get something into his stomach, not caring about the temperature - your cooking was gourmet to him in any way.

"I don't know," he answered, shrugging, "I can't believe I'm so fucking bad at giving gifts." Sarah ignored the swear word, blaming his fatigue, and didn't remind him of the swear jar you and her had brought into the house two months earlier.

"What did you gift her for her birthday?"

Tomorrow would be your first anniversary together.

A full years of being an official couple. While Joel was a romantic gentleman in every way possible, buying you flowers 'just 'cause', calling you sometimes multiple times a day 'just to hear your voice', keeping you in the house over the weekends and sometimes overnight during the week 'because he could never spend too much time with you', he still was a horrible gift giver - a fact no one could deny.

But more of a problem was your inability of receiving gifts. Because you hated it. You loved giving, hated receiving - not in all parts of life though. Especially not with Joel.

Though, whenever he had asked you what you wanted for your anniversary, birthday, or even International Woman's Day, he got the same answer each time: "I don't want anything." The truth was, you truly didn't. You've never been a big fan of material things, rather finding the thought behind something and a small gesture much more meaningful and loving. All the 'little' things your partner would do for you were enough - opening doors, carrying you whenever your feet hurt and taking you out for dinner on random days, were just a few of them. Yes, it may be the bare minimum, but still a rare minimum.

A rare minimum you had never been blessed with, with any of your past boyfriends. All until you met Joel and found out what it was like to have a true man by your side.

"That necklace you told me she'd like," he reminded her, brushing a hand over the wild curls he adored so much.

Sarah nodded with an open mouth, "Aaah, right right, I remember. She really did like that." They both nodded in sync. "But do you know what she loved even more?" Making the oldest Miller's head perk up,

"What?"

His daughter grinned at him, "The poster I made for her."

"True," he couldn't help but copy her facial expression, "She did like that a lot."

"She LOVED it!" Sarah shouted out, hitting her palms on the top of the counter, "She almost cried when she saw it," followed by giving her father a side-eye look, "She only said thanks to your gift, but she had tears because of mine."

Joel glanced at her, one eyebrow raised, "What are you tryna tell me?"

"Y/N loves me more than you," she flipped an invisible strand of hair to underline her comment.

The older man smiled, "Sure."

"Buuut," she dragged out the word, leaning over to steal a piece of broccoli from the container Joel was eating out of, "I also think that she would just appreciate self-made stuff more than things you can buy."

He stopped for a second to think before nodding his head, "So you're suggesting that I what? Build something?" Sarah nodded. "And what exactly?"

"Man, what do I know… You're the contractor here." But all he could do was sigh. He was in fact the contractor, but what the hell had that something to do with anything. The man put the food to the side to make some space and place his elbows on the counter, shoving his face into his two palms, groaning out loud.

The daughter of the family stood by his side, staring at him in amusement, finding this situation much funnier than her dad. With a chuckle, she passed him placing a somewhat comforting hand on his back.

"You're a lousy gift giver." Her comment though was anything but comforting.

He straightened his back to glare down at the girl, "Thanks." But it just got a giggle out of her.

After a quick glance around the room, the idea she had been holding in, as it was supposed to stay a secret present from her to the couple, came back up into her brain. "We could bake something for her."

That caught his attention. Joel didn't hate the idea. He definitely didn't. Your sweet tooth was known to the family, added to your appreciation and love for self-made gifts turned it into the perfect present.

"We?"

Sarah scoffed, "You really think I'd trust you with baking a cake?"

"Hey," he took her statement as an offence, "I'm doing very well in the kitchen." He didn't even believe that himself.

"Pff," she patted his back once again, "Sure, dad. Sure."

"I'm a great cook, alright?" he took it one step further, but his daughter was having none of it, giggling at him while shaking her head,

"You're an okay cook and a terrible baker."

He took the last bite of what was left in the plastic box before moving to put it into the dishwasher. "You can't be serious right now…"

Moments like these were Sarah's favourite. Watching her dad get all rilled up just never failed to make her chuckle. Joel enjoyed it just as much. The happiness radiating off her, with a beautiful and bright smile decorating her face, was a sight he never wanted to lose. "Uncle Tommy's a better baker than you," she quickly added before sliding past him to find the fitting cookbook on the shelf in the living room.

Joel's head shot into her direction, a finger pointing at her before she disappeared, "You take that back!" Her high-pitched giggles filled his ears with love and joy.

-

Sarah's feet were dangling off the counter while she was snacking on some of the sprinkles she wanted to put on the cake, along with taste-testing the pink sugar writing. Her father was preparing the frosting, every now and then checking on the cake in the oven, making sure it wouldn't burn because that was the last thing he needed.

They were sharing a few moments of comfortable silence in the room, whereas the girl's mind was filled with questions, daring to slip out any second as she didn't want to hold them back for much longer.

"So, Y/N's coming over tomorrow?"

Joel nodded with a whisk in the bowl, covered in blue-greenish frosting Sarah had coloured, "Yeah, I'm picking her up from work, and I'd bring her here," he looked up, "If that's okay with you."

"Of course," his daughter chuckled, putting the sprinkles down, freeing her hands so she could place them on the counter. She puckered her lips, thinking carefully about her next question. As much as she thought of a way to introduce the subject, she couldn't think of one, so she just jumped into the cold water.

"Do you wanna marry Y/N?" The words made Joel stop in his tracks, his eyes shot up to meet hers.

He sent her a questioning glance, "W-Where's that coming from?"

She shrugged, "I was just thinking. You know… you've been together for a year… and you seem happy-"

"We are," he assured her.

"And don’t adults think about getting married? When they’re happy."

He stood up straighter to lean onto the counter, crossing his arms, leaving the work on the frosting on the side for a bit. "Aren't you a little too young to be thinking about marriage?"

"For me? Yeah," she scoffed, "Because boys? Disgusting," getting a proud smirk for father as a response, "But I mean for you two… I don't know… I was just wondering."

Joel sighed, getting back to work, "Well… I mean, you ain't wrong, sweetheart. But there's a lot of things you need to do before you get married or even think about proposing."

"Like moving in?"

"Sure," he nodded, "Some couples move in before they get married. It's not the traditional way, but as we know, traditional is boring." She copied his head movements with a grin plastered on her face.

"Then why not ask her?" Sarah tilted her head and raised her eyebrows as soon as she locked eyes with the oldest Miller again.

"What do you mean?"

"Ask her to move in."

Joel chuckled in surprise, the spit in his throat almost making him joke, "You sure have some interesting suggestions today, kiddo. You alright? Do I have to be worried?" His facial expression made her laugh out loud as she nudged him with her foot, making him squirm away jokingly.

"Nooo, dad! I'm just saying," she motioned around with her hands,

"You've been together for a while… and… she's already spending every weekend here and sometimes comes over during the week. She makes sure we eat," Joel nodded along with all of the things his daughter was listing, "She takes care of me and you, she already has some of her stuff in your drawer-"

"How do you know about that?" She grinned sheepishly at him, "I saw it when I went through your stuff…"

The father took a deep breath and closed his eyes for a second, "Alright… how about we don't do that anymore?" Eyeing the little girl sitting on the counter to his left, but she just shrugged,

"You said we shouldn't keep any secrets from each other."

He sighed. Fuck. She wasn't wrong. "You're right… I did say that." Goddamn, always smarter than any other adult in the room. That was his little Sarah.

"So, are you gonna ask her?"

After tasting the frosting and checking its consistency, he gave the girl the whisk, just like he saw you doing it multiple times before. She accepted it with a bright smile.

Joel enjoyed having conversations like these. Obviously, he understood that she was still a kid, and he would never deny her of her innocent mind and easy-going-with-the-wind mindset, but he also appreciated the slightly more adult talks they could share. That's why he was more than happy to explain it to her.

"It's not as easy as you think it is, kiddo. Y/N still has an apartment. One that she shares. So, we’d have to talk about that first. And there's a lot of document stuff we'd have to get-"

"I asked her," she caught his attention when he came back up to stand up straight from looking at the cake through the oven window.

"What?"

"I asked her if she would like to move in with us. Not like actually, but just, you know, the idea of it."

Now Joel became interested. Of course, the two of you had had the conversation about a shared home before, but every couple had that at some point in their relationship. Hearing what you'd think about the idea now would have maybe changed. Now it was more relevant than ever, apparently.

"And," he looked down at his fingers, "What did she say?"

Sarah smirked, "She said the same thing as you just did. So really a match made in heaven," and rolled her eyes jokingly, "But she also said that she'd really like the idea… if I was okay with it."

"And? Are you- I-I mean, would you?"

"Of course! Are you kidding me?! I love her so much! Probably even more than you-"

"I doubt that."

"I don't," she stated straightforwardly, "And you're happy when you're with her, and you make her happy. What more you could want? AND thanks to her, the weekends aren't so boring anymore."

"What was wrong with the weekends before?" He was slightly taken aback by her comment, unsure if it was meant ironically or not. But then again, he was probably overthinking a lot at that moment.

Sarah smiled, "Don't get me wrong, dad. I loved the weekends with you and uncle Tommy, but having another woman in the house is just…" She shrugged, unsure of how to explain just how comfortable you made her feel. Joel and her were open about a lot of things, but Joel was… well, he was your typical single Texanian-dad, that didn't know what to do in certain female-focused situations - let's just put it like that.

Having conversations from woman to woman was something the father appreciated very much when it came to what you brought along when getting to know his kid. And the girl was happier than ever, being finally able to talk to an older person about certain struggles she might encounter that were still slightly too embarrassing to discuss with her dad.

"It's different, I know. I understand," he smiled at her.

"It's good different though," she nodded, "I really like her."

"And you'd be okay with her living here?" He finally asked. Sarah was the reason for his still-intact heartbeat. The only thing having kept him alive so far. Now you had also joined to share that position, but he was still his blood, and you'd never even try to get in between that.

"More than okay," she exclaimed, "I'd be SO happy to have her here constantly. I'd finally have someone against you."

Joel squinted his eyes at her, "Because Tommy isn't enough already?" Receiving a smug smile in return.

He shook his head with a chuckle when the timer went off, indicating that the cake was finally done. Sarah hopped off the counter to stand back on her two feet when her father leaned down to get the cake out of the oven and placed it on the stove.

"You know," he threw the dishtowel he used to not burn his hand to the side before turning to face the girl, "You might be a bit too smart for a kid your age."

The youngest Miller crossed her arms proudly, holding her chin up high, "Thanks, I got it from my uncle." That just made Joel look at her in surprise, almost making her laugh out loud.

He put on his low dad voice, "You got that from your father, thank you very much."

She dropped her hands, "Whatever," and moved a bit closer to stand right next to him, "So will you ask her tomorrow?"

"Yes," he promised her, "I will ask her tomorrow." To which she started bouncing up and down, her body full of excitement, making Joel chuckle and pull her in for a side hug and gift her a kiss on the top of her head.

She clapped her hands, "Now, let's start decorating."

-

You were running -scratch that - Sprinting through the hospital corridors, desperately trying to find the info point a nurse had told you to go to.

You had never crossed town at the speed you just did. Once the message from the other side of the call registered in your brain, you dropped everything at work, ignored the calls from your boss, just shouted a quick, "Family emergency," and raced to catch the next possible bus.

With a big breath shooting out of your lungs, you came to a halt once you came to sight with the hotspot you were looking for. You braced yourself up with your palm, trying to catch your breath before you spoke up, "Hi, sorry, I'm looking for Joel Miller. He's supposed to be in a check-up room."

The nurse looked up at you, surprised by the sound of urgency in your voice. She was quick to type the name into her system, but it felt like hours for you. Your legs were nervously shaking, barely able to hold you up anymore.

She opened her mouth, making you stare at her, eyes widened, "Room 293, down the hall on the right." You were just about to thank her and continue your race but she continued, "He's just got done with the medical exam, but I'd ask you to please wait outside until a doctor comes and approves of him accepting visitors."

Fuck that. You muttered a quick thanks before your legs took you where she explained the room would be.

If they really thought you'd wait for a fucking doctor to allow you to see your boyfriend you expected to be in the worst possible condition, they were wrong. Very wrong.

Hectically, your eyes scanned each number plate on the side of the doors as you tried to find the right one.

290… 291… 292… 293! A sigh of relief washed over you. You got closer to the door, glancing to the left and right, just to make sure there was no one that could see you walk in before you knocked three times. A quiet, "Yeah?" rang through your ears and you didn't wait for another second to open the door.

Your eyes immediately fell to the man sitting on the examining bed. He was alive. At least he looked like it.

"Y/N?"

Out of breath, you tried to speak, "Joel… w-what the fuck?!" He couldn't even open his mouth. "Are you out of your goddamn mind? What the- what the hell happened to you?!" You got closer to him, your fingers coming up to gently touch his chin, turning his head to look at the small scraps next to his eyes. You noticed the bandage on his forehead, guessing he must've gotten stitches there, only making you sigh again.

Joel got a hold of your hands, holding them close to his chest as he tried to calm you down, "Sweetheart… I'm okay," he brushed some wild hairs that were covering your face, to the side, "I'm alright."

"No," you shook your head, already feeling your throat close up, "Look at you."

"This is nothing, I promise."

While his right hand held onto yours tightly, the palm of his left one ran up and down your lower arm. You shrugged out of his grasp to hide your face behind your hands as soon as you could feel the first tears rolling down your cheeks. Your fingers pressed into your eyes.

"You scared the shit of out me," your voice was not much more than a whisper, but the room was quiet, so Joel was able to hear you clearly. He pushed himself off the bed, standing up in front of you to engulf you in a warm hug when he noticed your brittle voice and your whole body shaking.

His low voice tried to calm down your soft cries as he pressed your head into his chest, ignoring the slight pain in his ribs, remembering the big bruise that was forming there. "I'm sorry, darlin'," he whispered, "I'm sorry. But I'm okay. I promise." He moved his hands from brushing over your back to cupping your cheeks, his thumbs caressing your skin, wiping away the wet stains your tears left. "I'm alive," he grinned at you, but you just shook your head.

"You're a fucking idiot, Miller," pushing a finger into his chest, getting a subtle groan out of him, making you flinch back immediately, "What?" Your eyes hastily ran over his body, "You're hurt there too."

You tried to push his shirt up, but he stopped you, placing his hands on top of yours, "No no, don't worry. Just hurts a little."

You couldn't help but to sigh again. That man was going to be the death of you. With a few steps back, you distanced yourself from him, sitting down in one of the chairs by the desk across from the bed. Carefully, Joel sat back on top of the bed. Your eyes scanned his form as you noticed the hiss he was trying to hold back, his lips pressed together tightly.

You shook your head and closed your eyes, lowering your head.

"Did Tommy call you?"

You scoffed, "Obviously."

"Did you call Sarah?" To which you motioned a 'no' to him.

"You don't need two women in your life to have a heart attack," you explained, "And I didn't know what to tell her. Tommy just said there was an accident on the construction site, and you're in the hospital. I didn't even let him finish. I sprinted out of the office." Your story made him chuckle, but he noticed your still anxious and tense body.

"He brought me here just to make sure everything was alright. I wasn't hurt badly. No one was."

You looked up to meet his eye, "Joel, you got stitches!"

He shrugged, "Not the first time, not the last time."

"Why would you say that?!" You stared at him unamused, your mouth open. Taking a deep breath in, your hand brushed through your hair while you let your eyes travel around the room. You hated hospitals. You had yet to have a positive experience in one of these buildings. The silence that overcame the room was choking. But you weren't in the mood to say anything else, nor did you know what to even say, and Joel could read you like the back of his hand. He knew he scared you. He hated it, so he was the first to break the stillness.

"Happy Anniversary."

You raised your head, finding him grinning at you shyly, making you shake your head, "Don't. This isn't funny." He nodded, understanding what was going on in your head. Another moment of silence filled the room.

"I'm sorry. I know this isn't the way you expected to spend our anniver-"

"I couldn't care less about the anniversary, Joel!" You exclaimed in frustration, "I- I thought you were-," you stopped before you could get choked up again, not even wanting to dare to say out loud what was going on in your head when you answered Tommy's phone call. "God knows what could've happened to you!"

"Come 'ere," he nodded you over, but you shook your head,

"Joel-" you were stopped by the motion of his hand for you to come closer. The man was already hurt, you didn't have to add to that. With a sigh, you stood up, leaving your bag on the chair next to you, before walking up to him again. The oldest Miller leaned forward to grasp your hand and pulled you closer, even getting a soft smile out of you.

His hand rested on your hips as you stood between his legs while you intertwined your fingers behind his neck.

"I'm sorry for scaring you, darlin'. I promise I'll be more careful."

"You better," your finger slid through his hair as you noticed the look in his eyes while he was staring at you. His right hand found its way to the back of your neck, pulling you down to finally do what he had been wanting to do all day. His lips moved against yours as you could feel him smirking before he pulled back slightly.

"I'll make it up to you tonight." You looked into his eyes in confusion, but only for a second before you moved your head back with a gasp.

"Joel!" You smacked his shoulders gently, "You're sitting on fucking a hospital bed, how could you think about sex right now?" He just continued grinning, his hands moving all over your body, keeping his eyes on yours, "How could I not with you in front of me."

A chuckle escaped from your lips followed by a shake of your head, "You're unbelievable." You got pulled closer again, his lips smashing against yours.

"Unbelievably in love with you." Earning himself a giggle and a quick peck from you.

Your fingers softly grazed the skin of his cheek, careful not to touch any of his injuries as you smiled, "Happy Anniversary, Joel." He couldn't help but to copy your facial expression, keeping you as close to him as he possibly could.

-

You drove the two of you home after the oldest Miller had gotten released from the hospital, and Tommy had already made his way back to his place. Joel was definitely moving slightly more carefully, but he assured you he was a-okay - you didn't fully believe it, but it wasn't worth a discussion.

After parking the car in the garage, you made your way into the house through the backdoor. Joel opened it for you to walk in first, just like he always did. You gave him a quick, "thank you," and stepped in before you stopped in your tracks, a high-pitched voice surprising you with a loud,

"HAPPY ANNIVERSARY!"

"Oh, Jesus!" Your hand flew up to your chest, your breathing quickening as you took in the scene in front of you. Sarah was beaming at you with her bright smile, a pink poster with big letters staring directly at you.

You started laughing, "God, you scared me, kid."

Joel stopped behind you, laughing at the sight. She ignored your exclaim, running up to wrap her arms around your torso, making you do the same around her shoulders. You pulled her in, placing a kiss on the top of her head. "You really are just the cutest," pulling back to look at her, petting her cheek, "Thank you, sweetie."

She gave you another quick grin before moving on to her father, doing the same to congratulate him, when she noticed the cuts on his face.

"What happened to you?"

Joel shrugged, a hand brushing over her hair, "Just a little accident at work. Nothing to worry about."

You moved further into the house, placing your bag on one of the dining chairs. Your eyes took in the room, holding your gaze once again on the poster Sarah had clearly self-made. She had placed it on top of the table before she had rushed over to the two of you, so you were able to run your fingers over the little stones and glitter patches she had glued on. You remembered the sign you had gotten from her only a month ago.

"You outdid yourself this time, Sarah," you turned to her when you noticed she had come to stand next to you, "It's so cute."

"Thanks," she radiated her happiness on you. "And look!" She skipped into the kitchen, making your gaze follow her when she pointed to the counter when you saw what got her so excited.

You started giggling. On the countertop sat a turquoise-coloured cake, with white frosting details on the side on pink hearts decorating the top of it.

"Oh my god!" you exclaimed, "Awww, did you do that yourself?"

She shrugged with a smile, "Dad helped me." To which Joel got closer to you two, his eyebrows scrunched in confusion,

"I thought you helped me." His arm snaked around your waist.

"Well," she answered him, "You thought wrong," sending him a sheepish grin that made you chuckle.

You opened your arms to get her into another hug, tightening your arms around her just a little tighter than before, "Well, I appreciate it a lot. Thank you, sweetie. I love it." Your eyes may have gotten a little glassy, but you were able to hold it back, not wanting to surprise them with a gush of happiness.

Joel next to you cleared his throat, gaining all the attention of the room. You released Sarah from your grasped and wrapped your arms around your partner's waist. "And thank you to you too, of course," smiling up at him as he looked down. You puckered your lips, making him smirk and lower his head to meet your mouth, giving you a quick peck.

Sarah interrupted your small moment of love when she called out, "Okay, let's eat!"

All three of you followed her orders and sat down around the dining table after grabbing plates, forks, and a knife to cut the cake. While your eyes were on Joel, who was giving each one of you a good slice, you also noticed the little girl next in the middle of the two of you, happily clapping drumming her hands on the surface, that smile of hers never leaving her face.

It was in moments like these when you truly thought to yourself what you could have possibly done in your past life to deserve people like them in your life. A boyfriend that would carry you to the ends of the world, in whose arms you felt safer than anywhere else, along with a wonderful daughter that looked at you as if you were the reason for the stars lighting up the sky.

You enjoyed the sweet dinner, easily falling into a comfortable conversation like you usually would. Sarah told you about her good day at school, bragging about the grade she had gotten on her chemistry exam, earning her a round of applause from you and a kiss on her cheek from her father. Joel and you talked about your workdays, leaving out the time you had spent in the hospital. He was fine, that's all you cared about.

After the meal, you brought all the dirty dishes into the kitchen, loading up the dishwasher, Joel placed the cake back into the fridge, and Sarah was put in charge of choosing a movie to let the evening come to an end.

Her choice fell on Jurassic Park, knowing how much the oldest in the house loved the movie, and after getting a nod of approval from you, she put it into the DVD player, telling you to hurry up and join her on the couch.

Joel and you sat down on either side of her before the girl made herself comfortable and laid her head on your lap while resting her legs on her father's. Automatically, your hands found their way to her head, brushing through her unruly hair you always complimented.

This position allowed Joel to come just a little bit closer, lifting his daughter's legs to slide over to you, pulling your head to lean on his shoulder and copying your actions to start patting your head as well. Not even forty minutes later, the soft snores and even breaths from the little girl accompanied the sounds coming from the TV. You looked down with a chuckle.

"What?" Joel wondered, "Did she fall asleep?"

"Yeah," you smiled, eyeing him suspiciously once he stood up with a groan,

"Finally." He crouched down slightly, moving one arm underneath Sarah's knees, while his other one steadied her neck. He straightened his back and pointed a finger at you, "You stay here. I still have something to make up to you."

Getting a giggle out of you, "Joel!"

"I mean it!" He shout-whispered at you before disappearing upstairs.

You brought your knees up, hugging them to your body when you remembered the little gift that was still hidden in your bag. With a soft huff, you pushed yourself off the sofa and walked over to the dining room the snatch your bag off the chair.

"Darlin', where- oh, there you are," Joel found you with your back turned towards him, rummaging through your back when he crept up on you and placed his hands on your hips once he got close enough. His lips immediately latched onto your neck, peppering it with kisses, making you giggle.

"Stooop," you laughed, leaning back into his chest.

"What are you doing?" He wondered as you turned around, your hands hidden behind your back.

You grinned up at him, "I've got something for you."

"You do?" His eyebrows shot up, "Why? Having you here is already enough," he didn't even wait for a response from you, just saw you rolling your eyes, making him chuckle as he pulled you in for a quick kiss.

You were first to retrieve back, receiving a low whine from him in return, to which you shook your head with a smile. "May I give you your gift now?"

Joel stood up straighter and put his hands out, palm up, in front of you, closing his eyes along the process. Without wasting another second, you placed the little box into his grasp. He opened his eyes again, looking suspiciously at the packaging, shaking it slightly,

"What is it?"

"You really expect me to tell you instead of just opening it?"

He smiled, "Alright, alright."

You could hardly contain your excitement as he ripped the paper off the box, throwing it onto the table behind you. As soon as Joel opened it, his eyes shot up to find you grinning right at him.

"Darlin'…"

"Sarah told me you've been looking for one," you explained, "But she also said that you never take the time to go downtown and look for one. So, I thought, I'd just save you the stress."

His fingers ran across the rounded edges of the watch in the box. It looked expensive, that's for sure.

"You didn't have to do that, sweetheart," he spoke quietly, still in awe of the present worth so much more than just money in his hands.

You shrugged, "I know, but I wanted to."

Joel took it out of its packaging, putting that to the side as well before wrapping it around his wrist. Your fingers came to help, closing the little buckle so it fit him perfectly.

He couldn't take his eyes off the watch, "Thank you, darlin'," but you were a much better sight to him, "I love it," so he pulled you in again, "I ain't never taking that off ever again."

Your hands found their usual place on the back of his neck again as you kissed him back, whispering against his lips, "I'm glad you like it. Happy anniversary."

"Happy anniversary," he mumbled back, giving you a peck before sliding out of your embrace, "Well, I guess it's time for me to give you your present now?"

"Joel," you whined, "I told you, I don't-"

His hand stopped you before he exited the kitchen and came back only seconds later, his hand in a tight fist. You waited patiently for him to open his mouth again, even though you were anything but that.

He stopped in front of you, raised his arm and let what he was holding drop down while holding onto what looked like a key ring.

"What is it?" You reached out to grab it, laying it flat against your palm to analyse it. A key. Attached to a pendant representing three figures, a figure that was supposed to be a man, next to a woman, who then again stood next to the same figure just in small.

"The key to my heart?" He jokingly answered, making it sound more like a question, making you look up.

"Ha ha," you rolled your eyes. Always the romantic…

Joel took a deep breath before clearing his throat, "I mean… I guess it kinda is, but ehm… it's a housekey." You had to tear your eyes away from the object in your hands once again once your brain registered what he had just said.

"What?"

"So," he started explaining, his hands immediately on your hips again, "I was racking my brain over what I could give you today. But I just couldn't think of anything. Because honestly… I didn't think there was anything in this world that I could buy you, that would show you just how much you mean to me."

"Don't make me cry," you quickly intervened, making him chuckle as he placed a soft kiss on your cheek,

"I'll try," and put a strand of hair behind your ear. "Yesterday Sarah, the way too smart for her own good kid, that she is," the description made you smile, "got the idea of baking something for you because she said you value that a lot more than bought stuff." He had to take another deep breath before continuing, "And then while we were preparing the cake… you know her, she started asking all those questions until we landed on the whole moving-in thing." Throughout the whole speech, you listened attentively to your partner, keeping your eyes on him the entire time even while his drifted around the room. "Since you already spent the weekends with us and are here every now and then during the week, she asked me why you're not living with us yet."

"And your answer was?" A smug smile made its way onto your lips.

"Do you want the truth or what I told her?"

"The truth, please."

Joel's eyes followed his hands as they ran up and down your sides, "That her dad hasn't had the balls yet to ask his girlfriend." You shyly looked down back to your hands. At the little charm.

He noticed where your attention was and pointed at it, "Sarah picked that up today after school." Of course, she did… You could feel the tears coming back up. God, that girl was just too pure for the world…

"So?" His voice made you meet his eyes again, "What do you say? Can you handle three Millers under one roof?"

You pretended to think, playing with the lips he so desperately wanted to feel on his again, "It won't be easy."

He grinned, "That's not a no." You dropped the key onto the table behind you before your hands went back around his neck, pulling him in close enough for your lips to almost touch. You could feel his grip on your hips tighten.

The corners of your lips curled up, "That's because it's a yes," pecking his lips, "I'll take good care of you."

His left hand travelled to your lower back, "And we'll take good care of you too," he repeated giving you multiple little kisses, making you laugh. Oh, God how much he loved that sound. And now he would be able to hear that every single day. "Now, how about I stick true to that promise I made earlier?"

You nodded, breathing against each other's mouths, "Yeah, please do." And he didn't need to be told twice.

With one swift move, you were put onto the table, before he situated himself between your legs. His hands cupped your cheeks, pulling you as close as possible. You moved yourself slightly forward, letting a moan escape from your lips when you felt his tongue glide across your bottom lip.

Opening your mouth wider, gave him the opportunity to slip in, earning a deep groan from the man in front of you. Your fingers started playing with the hem of his shirt, signalling for him to pull back and pull it up as you helped him along with it, dragging him onto you the moment it came off - eyes immediately on the dark bruise forming on his ribs.

"Joel…," you gasped, reaching out to touch the dark spot, but he got a hold of your hand, bringing your knuckles up to his lips,

"It's nothin', darlin', don't worry about it." You could worry about the truth in his statement tomorrow, for now, you wanted to get him back on you, so you smashed your lips back onto his.

He chuckled, "Someone's eager," he started trailing kisses down your neck.

"Well, someone made me think about this for hours," you grabbed his face to bring him back up to you. You could never get enough of the touch of his lips. You would drown in it if you could. You wouldn't even care if you couldn't breathe anymore, it would be a happy death.

"And that someone is gonna make sure you won't be able to think at all for the next few hours," he whispered as his right hand slipped underneath your shirt, his thumb tracing over your bra.

You couldn't help the shake in your voice, "Hours? I think you're getting a little ahead of yourself, Miller." Knowing damn well that he wasn't. You had the privilege of getting the house to yourself every now and then or having had some alone time in your apartment. If he wanted to, he could go on for hours and hours. But you'd be lying if you said you didn't enjoy rilling him up just a little bit.

He scoffed, pulling your shirt over your head easily, "Sure, keep saying that. Keep talking while can." He knew what he was doing to you with those words.

His hands roamed your almost naked torso, cupping your still-covered breasts into his big hands, making you moan into his mouth.

You could feel that gentle touch of his on your body before it stopped on your ass, pulling you closer to him as he mumbled, "Come 'ere. Let's go upstairs."

You were held up tightly against him as he carried you up into the first floor, taking a sharp left to get you both into his, well now your, bedroom. Your bedroom. From now on, this was the room you'd be sharing with your partner. God, what a good time to be alive…

Once you had reached the bed, Joel slouched over, making sure to place you onto the mattress gently.

There were two sides to Joel Miller when it came to sex. You were very familiar with both. There was the soft side you adored so much. When he took his time with you, kissing every inch of your body, working you up just right, adoring your body and covering it with pure passion. His thrust would be slow and deep, gentle, yet just filled with the same amount of lust as his other side. The alter ego, as you'd like to think of it was fast-paced, hard, yet never too short, sex. Still very passionate, but loud and messy. Bruises weren't a rarety after a night like that. And while that was what you understood when thinking of sex, you adored love-making just a little bit more when the time was right. Just like at that moment.

His kisses moved from your neck, down between your breasts, along the middle of your torso, holding onto it tightly, until he reached the rim of your jeans. His fingers got to work on your button, opening it along with the zipper, before getting up slightly to free your legs from them, sliding them down as he started kneeling on the floor. Down at your ankles, he pulled them off completely, getting rid of your socks as well before starting his journey of kisses back up again.

You squirmed more and more the higher he came up, making him have to move his hands to your hips to hold you down and pull you closer to the end of the bed to reach your inner thighs.

"Ah, fuck baby…," he moaned in between kisses, "So. Fucking. Beautiful."

You were brushing some hair out of your face, heavy breaths leaving your lips. You didn't even dare to look down, knowing you'd probably only get closer to coming right then and there with the sight. "Joel, please…" you whined.

"I know, I know, darlin'," he continued admiring your thighs with his lips before hooking his fingers into the side pieces of your underwear. He noticed which ones you were wearing.

"You know," he gave them a kiss too, right onto your pelvic bone,

"These are my favourite."

You chuckled, "Of course, I know. Why do you think I put them on?"

"Well, but then it wouldn't be right of me to just take them off right away, now would it?" He smirked letting go of the fabric and prepping your legs up on the mattress. His lips moved down to the centre of your pussy, placing a gentle kiss right where you wanted him, sending a shiver through your entire body along with a shaky breath tumbling from your lips.

Once again, his finger hooked underneath the fabric of your underwear, only this time, pulling the centre piece to the side, giving him a clear view of your sex, clearly glistening even in the dim light coming from the moon outside.

He didn't let another moment pass before he covered your slit in little kisses, his hands having a tighter grip on you once you started moving again. You were still enjoying the soft feather touches of his lips on yours when you suddenly felt the tip of his tongue running over your clit, getting a low moan out of you. You had to remember there was still a little girl in the room across from you - too much noise would eventually wake her up and you were not ready to have that kind of confrontation with her yet.

"Ah… Joel…" you breathed out, your fingers tangling around his hair, pulling slightly once you felt his tongue movements quicken and deepen.

He slipped around your clit, running it down to your hole before drawing circles around there as well. As soon as he was up again, gently sucking on your clit, you could already feel the arousal dripping out of you, making you shudder and hold onto his hair just a little tighter. He switched between focusing on your bundle of nerves and gathering every drip coming out of you with his tongue.

"Fuck," you couldn't help the whine erupting from you. You had to be quiet, not silent. Especially not when you knew what your sounds could do to Joel. You were confirmed of your thoughts when you heard the buckle of the belt on his jeans opening, followed by his zipper. Joel had to free his hands from holding onto you to get his jeans off his legs, dragging his boxers along with them to free his erect dick. But his tongue never left your heat - he was a God of multitasking and had proved that many times before.

Once you felt his right hand being placed on top of your abdomen and heard a deep groan coming from him, you knew he had started grasping his cock in his free hand. The thought of your partner jerking off to eating you out and the little breaths coming from you only added to the sensation that had been building up between your legs.

"Joel," you whimpered, "Don't-fuck, don't stop," begging him to keep going. His answer was another strong suck on your clit, and a lick of his tongue as he slid into you. The hand that had been holding you down was moving lower, still keeping you from moving too much, while his thumb had found its way to your clit, making sure to stimulate it, while his tongue was working inside of you.

"Oh, God, yeah…" you breathed out, uncontrollably starting to move your hips as well to get closer to the edge. Your moans came out higher-pitched as you pressed your lips together tighter, trying to keep as quiet as possible, while your partner was doing the Lord's work on you.

"Fuck- Joel, I'm gonna cum," you whined out, "I-"

"You can do it, baby," he encouraged you, letting go of his erection, to replace his tongue with two of his fingers, and going back to kissing your clit passionately while his right hand interlaced with yours.

"Come for me," he breathed against you.

You nodded, moaning slightly louder as the grip on his hand tightened, your hips moving around more. The tension kept building up, encouraging you to keep going as he moved his fingers in and out of you, the wet sounds echoing through the room.

"Come on, darlin'." His whisper made your body shake.

And after the last small whiny, "yeah…" slipped from your lips, you fell apart beneath him, tightening around his fingers, humming uncontrollably, and trying to hold in the moans and groans you could've let out.

Joel didn't stop though. He never does. He only removed his fingers to start cleaning you up with his tongue, not letting you recover from the orgasm that had washed over you.

You tried catching your breath, releasing his hand from your tight grasp, as you moved both your hands back to his hair, begging him to come up and hover over you, "Joel," you whispered, chest still heaving heavily.

With a smile, he came back up to face you after finally taking your underwear off completely, his arms resting on either side of you, peppering your face with kisses before stopping at your mouth. You could taste the remains of yourself on his tongue as he pushed it past your lips to slide over yours.

"I love you," he spoke quietly against your mouth, moving down to your jaw, making you smile as you pulled him to look you straight in the eyes, "I love you too," kissing him with just as much passion as before.

His right arm moved underneath your arched back, towing you into him as he sat you up on your knees. His fingers quickly opened the back of your bra, sliding it down your arms, following its trail to mark it with kisses. Once were boobs were free in front of you, he leaned down, getting to work on them as he decorated them with his lips. You threw your head back in relief, giving him easier access, sighing his name out loud.

When he wanted to feel your mouth on his again, he positioned his hand on your tits, engulfing them in the warmth of his palms.

"You're always so good to me." Now it was your time to move your lips down his throat, getting a soft moan out of him, while his fingers came to play with your nipples.

"How could I not," he got a hold of your chin, moving it gently so you'd be facing him again, "You deserve it," going back to stealing your breath and devouring your lips.

Joel sat down properly on the bed, giving you the opportunity, to take a seat on his lap. You let your hand travel down your body, between your legs to smear some of your wetness onto your palm before you moved onto him, covering his fully erect cock. He held himself up with his hands on the mattress, tilting his head back, letting the pleasure wash over him as a groan fell from his lips.

You pumped your hand up and down four times before you were ready to lower your head, but a soft grip on the back of your hair stopped you, gently pulling you back up, "No no, darlin', come on," Joel patted his lap, "Sit down." He had always been more of a giver than a receiver. Not that the hated blowjobs, how could he with your mouth, but he enjoyed giving a lot more than receiving.

You listened to his demand and scootched up onto his lap, not letting go of his erection in your hand as you lined it up with your sex before slowly sinking down on it, your hands coming to rest on his shoulders as soon as he grabbed you by your hips.

A soft but long whine vibrated in your throat as he started to fill you up, stretching you with his size. Your fingers started digging into his shoulders, making him hiss with a chuckle. His strong arms kept you as close as possible to him, waiting for you to set the pace and start moving.

You let your forehead fall against his once he was fully inside, and you started rotating your hip right away. Moving them back and forth to create some friction as both of you shared a round of low moans, kissing to prevent them from getting too loud. He moved his hips along with yours after getting to know the speed you were working with, making you sigh out loud. "Oh… fuck…"

Joel's hand came up to brush some of the hairs that stuck to your forehead, away, giving your cheeks a few pecks.

"You know, you get more beautiful each day," directing them down to your throat and the side of your neck.

You chuckled, "You're one to talk, dilf hot-shot." Your comment made the two of you giggle in chorus as you remembered him of the nickname he had earned himself at the last parent-teacher conference, which you found out, thanks to his daughter, who wondered what it meant.

He rolled his eyes,

"Oh please," he jerked his hips up to tease you, almost making you screech if it wasn't for you hiding your face in his neck. "I'll always find you beautiful, sweetheart, no matter the age."

His hand on your hair pulled you back gently to look at him again,

"Likewise, handsome," you smiled at him, gifting him with a kiss before your hands on his chest pushed him down, while you kept yourself up on your knees. As Joel lowered his body, following your directions, you felt his erection tipping with him, nudging the rough spot inside of you, getting a shaky moan from you in return.

Once he was comfortable, you braced yourself with your arms on the sides of his head to hover above him, continuing your make-out session. You felt his hands going down your body, finding their new place on your ass as he held on to it, keeping you still, while started to move his upwards. Having to pull back from the kiss, you released a soft sigh before starting to move against him, meeting his thrusts in the middle.

His grip tightened with his lips on you again, "Fuck, baby," he hissed, slightly picking up the pace. "Ya' gonna' be fuckin' death of me." You loved whenever his deep Texanian accent made an appearance during sex. It just told you, you were doing everything right.

With one last kiss, you pushed yourself up to fully sit on his cock again. He pushed his knees up slightly to give you a makeshift backrest once you started moving your hips faster. His fingers quickly interlaced with yours, giving you something to hold onto as you yanked them closer to you.

"Joel…" you dragged out his name in a hush, getting a groan from him in response.

"You're doing so good sweetheart, keep doing," he encouraged you.

You sat up straight, "Put your legs down," giving him the directions you needed for your next position, sounding almost out of breath. He did as you asked, giving you the room to lean back and hold onto his thighs, opening up your body as a sight to him.

"So good, baby," he moaned out loud as he put his hand to your pussy, after wetting his fingers with his spit, circling them around your clit, making you shake.

"Fuck," you cursed out, sighing along with it as you started moving your hips faster, now with the encouragement of Joel's touch on your sex.

His groans felt your ear, letting you know he wasn't far from his release, just as much as you. You kept moving, bouncing up and down on his erection that kept brushing your walls, letting you feel every vein on his cock.

"Joel, I'm so close," you moaned, which was all he needed to know before he freed his hands from yours, only to bring them back to your ass, lifting you up to change his position. You kept yourself up, taking a few deep breaths, trying to steady your breathing with the small rest you got.

He sat up on his knees, wrapping his arms around you again to lower you back onto the mattress, this time with your head against the comfort of your pillows.

Joel stayed in this position, making sure to keep you as still as possible in the tight hug, as he started snapping his hips against yours. His cock slid easily in and out of you, the wet sounds ringing through your ears as you felt his balls slapping against your ass.

You lifted your arms, your fingers desperately trying to find the headboard to hold onto as you tried to contain yourself from the noise you wanted to make. All you could let out were high-pitched whimpers and gentle moans when you could've easily screamed into his ears with the pleasure that was rushing through your body.

You could feel Joel's fingers digging into your skin, his groans only getting deeper as he attacked your neck, hoping to keep it as quietly as possible. The second orgasm was approaching you rapidly and you wanted to open your mouth to let him know, but all you could make out was,

"I- Jo-" as he kept on hitting just the sight spots inside of you.

He nodded, "I know, baby," breathing heavily against you, "Ya gonna come with me?" Making you nod hastily, "Yeah?" To which you nodded again, a whimper tumbling from your lips.

Your feet started digging into the mattress as the pressure leading you to your release was getting intensely more.

"I-I'm gonna c- fuck, I'm gonna cum," you managed to get out. Joel kept his lips on your neck, gifting you more encouraging words.

"Yeah baby, come with me," was the last thing you needed to hear before he smashed his lips onto yours just at the right time before you could scream your orgasm out into the world. Your fingers tightened around the wood of the headboard as you felt him shoot his cum into you. His groan against your mouth sent vibrations through your body, which was already shaking from the aftermath of your release.

As soon as he pulled back, the two of you shared your heavy breaths, sweaty foreheads pressed against each other, a smile of pleasure decorating both of your faces.

Joel started peppering your face with kisses again, making you chuckle as you still tried to catch your breath, just as well as he still was doing.

"I love you, darlin'," he whispered against your skin as you brought your fingers back to his hair, brushing them to make him look at you.

After placing a loving kiss against his lips, you breathed out, "I love you, babe. I love you a lot."

"A lot?" He chuckled, raising his eyebrows.

You nodded with a smile, "A lot."

With a deep kiss that let you know just what you needed to know, he was back gazing into your eyes, freeing your face from all the small hairs that had made their way to your sweaty forehead, "Well then, I love you a lot too." But you couldn't let him go yet, yanking him towards you for one last, passion-filled kiss, moaning into his mouth as he smirked.

Joel pushed himself back up, slowly sliding his erection out of you, making you shiver, and him chuckle before he walked over to the basket of clean clothes he had yet to put away.

He searched for the clean cloth he remembered throwing in, and once he had found it, he brought it back to bed with him. He was back to hovering above you, continuing your innocent make-out session while he started cleaning up the mix of his and your cum that was dripping out of you. With every swipe, you buckled your hips up uncontrollably, just enjoying the pleasure washing over your body.

After he got done with that, he threw the cloth into the basket for dirty clothing before starting to look for his boxers, standing up on his two feet to pull them up his legs. You crawled over to the edge of the bed, bending down to gather your underwear before looking up at Joel who was standing closer to the clean clothing than you were.

"Can you give me a shirt, please?" Already knowing that you were asking for one of his, he snatched a dark green one and passed it over to you, who had gotten up from the bed, legs still shaky, but you could make it work.

Once you had thrown that over your body, you felt the familiar strong arms wrap around you again, and Joel lowered his head to get another few kisses from you.

"Happy anniversary," he whispered once again.

You smiled against his lips, "Oh, it is a very happy anniversary, babe." When there didn't seem to be a stop to the make-out session he had initiated, you tried to push him away, but he wasn't budging.

"J-Joel," you giggled, "I need to go."

"Where?" He immediately pulled his head back, gazing at you in surprise, but you quickly calmed him with a soft hand on his chest,

"Downstairs to get our clothes. I don't need to traumatise your daughter on the first day of moving in," you freed yourself from his hug, "And then I have to take a shower."

As you passed him, he couldn't let go of the opportunity to get a hold of your ass, squeezing it, getting a screech from you in response. You were quick to turn around and hit him on the upper arm, making him flinch away with a smirk.

"Joel!" You hissed at him, motioning for him to be quiet.

He raised his arms, "You're the one being so loud," earning himself a death glare from you, but it only made his grin wider.

His eyes followed your form as you left the room before he let himself drop down onto the bed. He ran a hand over his face, not even caring to hide the smile that just didn't seem to go away.

You were officially moved in. From today on, he'd wake up next to you every single day. Sarah and he would have you by their side every afternoon after work. He'd be able to pick you up and bring you both home. Together. He knew now the pressure of the next step in your relationship would be approaching quicker, but he decided to put that thought aside and focus on the present - and on your footsteps that were coming back up.

Joel laughed to himself as he got back up, on his way to join you in the bathroom for round two - after all, he had promised you hours.

joel taglist: @corvusmorte

pedro taglist: @leslieelainetrask

#joel miller x reader #joel miller #imagines #imagine #smut #fluff #the last of us #tlou #pedro pascal #x fem!reader #hbo!joel miller x reader #pre-outbreak!joel #x reader #pedro pascal x reader #x you #one shot #domestic #soft smut

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II. "Just Had To Trust You."

"Trust" Series Masterlist

John "Bucky" Egan x WAC!Female Reader

The second half of August brings with it the horrors of the Regensburg/Schweinfurt mission, Bucky's absence in Africa, and two smaller missions in France. With this as the backdrop to your blossoming relationship, the pair of you find creative ways to connect with one another.

Warnings: Language, Alcohol Consumption, Death, Grief, Minor Bucky Injury, Blood, Scars, Minor Reader Injury, Hospital Setting, Inevitable Historical and Military Inaccuracies, Mature/Explicit Themes [thigh riding, inexperienced reader, allusion to male masturbation] - 18+ ONLY.

Author’s Note: Thank you all so much for the warm reception you gave part one. That combined with my evil brain has given us a full series! Just a reminder that reader has been given a brother for sake of plot. This is a work of fiction based off the portrayal by the actors in the Apple TV+ series. I hold nothing but respect for the real life individuals referenced within.

Word Count: 6713

-------------------------

The day of August 17th dawned so thick with fog, it was difficult to tell it had even dawned at all. The walk from your quarters to the mess and then onto the control tower was fraught with anxiety – the fear that a vehicle might suddenly appear behind you through the milky atmosphere driving you to constantly glance back over your shoulder. Eventually, you decided to walk just alongside the road through the damp grass, listening to it squeak against the leather of your shoes, the only sound around you once you parted ways with your friends.

Cutting across the field in front of the equipment hangar, you gasped as Bucky stepped out of the mists in front of you like some kind of apparition from a ghost story. You gulped harshly at the way your stomach dropped in response to that mental imagery.

“Morning, doll. Seems like someone left the soup on the stove a little too long.”

You managed a chuckle, taking in his flight suit, his life jacket – or Mae West as the boys called them. He was flying today then. “I’m sure it’ll clear up soon, Major Egan.”

His lips twitched fondly, and he stepped closer to murmur in your ear, the fine hairs of his moustache tickling the delicate skin there. “See you in a few days, doll.”

“Take care, Bucky.” You whispered emphatically in return, and he stepped back to reach into his flight bag, producing the book you had lent him.

“I’ll have that answer for you promptly on my return, Lieutenant.”

You grinned softly. “I expect you will, Major.”

You turned to watch him go as he took long, easy strides to join his crew waiting on the truck to be driven out to their plane, disappearing in a swirl of persistent, pervasive fog. “I’ll see you soon.” You murmured after him.

Seven days.

Seven agonizing days of little news and empty skies passed as you impatiently awaited his return. The decision to send the group destined for Regensburg nearly five hours ahead of those bound for Schweinfurt had been catastrophic. It took almost seventy-two hours for the 12th to reach those who had made it to Telergma, and when numbers and names finally made their way back to Thorpe Abbotts, the cost of it all sunk in like a stone.

Rather than wasting the return trip to East Anglia, it was decided the survivors would undertake a retaliatory strike against some Luftwaffe bases in Bordeaux, one more hurdle to clear before they made it back to safety. It was mid-afternoon on August 24th by the time the droning of plane engines filled the air once again. Taking a steadying breath, you grit your teeth and forced yourself to focus on the keys of your typewriter as the brass all hustled outside to count the number of returnees.

‘Please let Bucky be among them. Please let him be unharmed.’ You had closed your eyes briefly to send up your silent prayer before launching back into your work.

It was nearly an hour later when, report finished, you tucked the neatly typed sheets of paper into their folder to deliver to Colonel Harding and stood only to meet the eyes of one Major John Egan through the window overlooking the Operations Room. He looked weary, sunburnt, with cuts and abrasions adorning his face and neck, unsteady on his feet, but nevertheless flashed you a brilliant, devil-may-care smile.

‘Thank you…thank you for bringing him back to me.’

You exhaled deeply for the first time in over a week, the folder nearly slipping from your fingers, contents nearly scattering across the floor. Mercifully, you managed to avoid that outcome, albeit with a fair bit of fumbling, tucking it securely against your side to prevent further mishaps. The next time you looked to Bucky he was smirking at you, eyes twinkling knowingly, before he gestured with his head toward where the washrooms were. Glancing at your colleagues, heads bent diligently over their work, you looked back to him and raised a finger to beg for one moment.

He nodded in silent understanding, sauntering toward the hallway casually. You took a moment before letting your desk mate know you were delivering a file and then taking a bathroom break. She nodded vaguely as you headed across the room to place the folder in the outbox before making your way to the washrooms. Furrowing your brows in confusion as you found the corridor empty, you barely managed to smother your startled cry as Bucky poked his head out of the janitor’s closet and pulled you into the cramped space with him.

“Bucky!” You hissed as he pressed you back against the door, his lips pressing tightly against yours, silencing any further admonishment you might have been able to summon.

Clinging the to straps of his harness, you rocked up onto the balls of your feet, pressing flush against him, a wordless expression of the gratitude you felt for his safe return. He had barely parted his lips when you mirrored the movement, welcoming his tongue with your own. A soft grunt of pleasure left his nose, his fingers digging into your hips tightly. The telltale tinge of copper seeped into the kiss, making you pull back sharply, groping for the pull string on the lightbulb dangling from the ceiling behind him.

You frowned deeply to see his lower lip was oozing blood. “You should go to the hospital, Bucky, you’re still bleeding…”

“M’fine.” He rumbled tiredly, cupping the back of your head gently as his thumb traced your left eyebrow.

You sighed softly, leaning into his touch as your eyes slid closed.

“My definitive answer is Blood Pressure.” He spoke in a hushed tone and your eyes fluttered open in confusion.

“What?”

His other hand left your hip to dig into the pocket of his flight jacket, producing the borrowed book, holding it out to you with a satisfied grin.

“You’ve already read the whole thing again?!” You gasped, eyes wide.

“Couldn’t very well keep you waiting now, could I?” He smirked and stole another kiss.

“I’m going back to my desk and you’re going to the hospital, please?” You looked to him pleadingly.

He sighed heavily. “That look is utterly unfair, doll…particularly in my condition.”

Your lips twitched slightly as you fought the urge to smile, doing your utmost to hold the plaintive expression until he huffed and pressed one last, copper-laced, sloppy kiss on your lips.

“Fine.” He conceded and you pressed your lips to his forehead tenderly.

“Thank you, Bucky.”

Slipping from his arms reluctantly, you peered out into the hallway before making a dash into the washroom, cleaning your face of his blood and tidying your hair and uniform before rushing back to your desk, hoping he would hold up his end of the bargain.

Judging from how well he healed over the next few days, you were fairly convinced he had done as you asked. His lips had healed to their normal supple perfection, though it seemed he would be left with a few scars across his nose, cheek, and forehead. Unfortunately, you had not been able to sneak a moment to confirm if he had indeed gone to visit the hospital or not. When your duties did not occupy you, it seemed that his did and vice versa. Passing glances or encounters while surrounded by colleagues seemed to be all the fates afforded you the rest of the week.

The effect it had on your mood was something that did not escape Mary, Vi, and Ruth – for despite your best efforts to conceal your activities, they had been onto you since you had returned from that eventful trip to the pub.

“We’ll just have to make sure you’re simply irresistible at tonight’s dance, then.” Mary grinned darkly upon your return to your shared quarters that Friday, a dangerous gleam in her eye as she closed in on you with Vi at her elbow.

“Oh yes, Mary, a little feminine revenge ought to remind the Major of his priorities.” She drawled, arms suddenly loaded with supplies – from where they had appeared, you were not entirely sure.

You landed heavily on your bottom upon your cot, staring up at them warily as Ruth laughed from her perch across the way.

“Just give in, darling, it’ll be less painful that way.” Came her friendly advice, though her words did not prove at all true.

There was next to no consideration for your comfort while your hair was combed and restyled, hisses of pain escaping your lips as a plethora of pins scraped along your scalp as they were pushed into place to secure the style they were creating.

“Beauty is pain, darling.” Vi pursed her lips in mock sympathy, but you were altogether relieved when they declared their creation stable and moved onto your makeup.

Somehow, despite their dedication to perfecting your look for the evening, and then freshening up a little themselves, the four of you still managed to arrive at the officer’s club before Bucky and many of the men. Securing a martini and your favorite spot along the wall, you forcefully shooed them off to dance with the early arrivals who quickly approached them. You glass was roughly a third empty when Bucky arrived with his best friend Buck and their tight knit group. All eyes turned toward him, as always, that infectious grin and magnetism making him ever popular.

Now that he had arrived, the party would truly begin. Taking a deep sip of your drink, you nearly choked as his eyes met yours and he made a beeline straight for you. Swallowing roughly, your eyes widened as he plucked the glass from your grasp to set it on a nearby table before holding out his hand to you expectantly.

“I’m not very good at this…” You warned him softly, voice a bit thick from your battle to swallow your drink.

“All you gotta do is hold on, doll, I’ll do the rest.” He winked and wrapped his fingers around yours once you finally set your hand in his.

Leading you onto the dancefloor, he pulled you close, one hand at your waist, the other holding yours out to the side. Bucky grinned at you warmly as he began to lead you across the floor confidently, and you clung to his shoulder, feeling the eyes of almost everyone on you. His actions were so public in contrast to the moments you had shared previously. So very declarative. It took a lot of strength not to hide against his shoulder from all the attention the pair of you were receiving. Even your friends were shooting you grins and nods and little victory signals from behind him.

“You got all dolled up tonight, is there a mission I should know about?” He teased gently, immediately pulling you from your thoughts.

“I was ambushed.” You huffed ruefully.

“Ah, so this mission has already been carried out.” Bucky smirked, lips stretching wider as you laughed softly, relaxing somewhat in his arms as he continued to lead you confidently. “You look gorgeous…can’t wait to get that lipstick all over my face again.” He hummed against your ear, and you smacked his shoulder playfully even as your pulse jumped at your throat, feeling his laughter shake through him.

“I hope I didn’t keep you waiting too long, Kidd thought it was the perfect moment to launch into an excruciating meeting about…well I wasn’t listening, quite honestly.” He smirked, making you shake your head fondly.

“You ought to listen to the man, he is your Air Exec you know…” You teased gently.

He hummed thoughtfully before shaking his head. “I was too busy thinking about how I’d rather be doing this, right here, right now, with you.”

You met his eyes briefly, startled by the transparency of his statement, before glancing away, teeth buried in your lip in a vain attempt to moderate your rapid heartbeat.

Bucky kept you on the dancefloor for at least five more songs, until your feet started to hurt, your legs getting heavy. “Let’s get you another drink.” He kissed your temple and slid his arm around your waist, leading you to the bar. He ordered a whisky for himself and another martini for you, finding a table in the corner and sitting in the chair right beside you. “For someone who claimed to be not very good at dancing, you held your own, doll.”

You smiled at him shyly. “Just had to trust you.” His resulting grin made you bow your head in response to its brilliance, shivering as his hand squeezed your knee beneath the shelter of the tablecloth.

Taking a steadying sip of your drink, you glanced at him through your lashes, biting your lip at his eyes had never left you, his fingers tightening where they still rested over your skirt. You glanced to the side, suddenly afraid you might forget how to breathe under the intensity of his gaze, sucking in a somewhat ragged breath as you watched another couple canoodling in the opposite corner of the room. There was nothing subtle about the way they were pressed against one another, despite the very public place in which they found themselves, and you averted your gaze yet again to watch the bartender mixing drinks as you sipped yours steadily.

The resulting loosening of your muscles as the alcohol reached your extremities gave you the courage to look in Bucky’s direction once more, taking in his profile as he eyed the dancefloor, toe tapping to the beat. His arm was slung over the back of your chair, an action you had no memory of, and he was slouched low in his seat, legs spread wide. His posture was altogether too inviting, and had you gnawing on your lip once more, yet unable to tear your eyes away despite the alarm bells ringing inside your head.

“See something you like, doll?” Bucky’s voice in your ear made you jump. Made you wonder when he had closed the distance.

You hoped, briefly, that the Luftwaffe might indulge you by dropping a bomb directly on your head right then. No such luck. Bucky’s hand slid higher on your leg to squeeze your thigh, forcing you to raise your gaze to meet his. His normally stormy blue eyes were notably darker, pinning you to the spot as his tongue darted out to wet his slightly parted lips.

“Come on.” He spoke suddenly, sliding to his feet and holding out his hand again.

Following him back to the dancefloor, you gasped audibly as he pulled you improperly close, his hand splaying against your lower back as his cheek pressed against yours. “After this song, meet me at our bench. I’ll be five minutes behind you.” His lips brushed against your skin as he spoke, making your feet clumsy.

Bucky simply pulled you closer in response, bearing more of your weight to keep you dancing smoothly as you somehow managed a nod in agreement, heart hammering in your ears. There was no mission tomorrow, the control tower would be relatively quiet, and therefore so would the bench outback where you had shared your conversation about Runyon’s book. As the band wound down their tune, Bucky shuffled the pair of you to the edge of the floor, kissing your cheek softly.

“Goodnight, doll.”

You exhaled shakily, nodding as you mentally reached down to the bottom of your toes to summon your voice. “Night, Bucky.”

He gave you a crooked smile and one more kiss on the cheek before releasing you gently, watching patiently as you lurched into motion, heading toward the door and out into the relatively cooler night air. Making your way along the road, you swallowed back a curse as your eyes met those of your Captain who was standing watch over the route to the women’s quarters.

“Evening, Ma’am.” You saluted quickly.

“Lieutenant.” Captain Miller nodded crisply watching you continue on before you cut around behind the barracks and circled back toward the control tower to meet Bucky.

Due to the necessitated detour, he was already there, waiting, hands on his hips, shoulders slightly raised with tension. You frowned guiltily and crept up to gently set a hand on his arm, feeling him jump.

“Sorry, I had to appease the dragon-lady, she saw me leave and I–”

He nodded once before kissing you fiercely, making you sigh heavily against his lips. Sliding your arms around his neck, you allowed your fingertips to brush against the curls at the nape of his neck. His chest rumbled happily, his tongue tasting so sharply of whisky as it slid along yours that you wondered if he had taken those five extra minutes to have one more drink before following you.

“Thought you’d changed your mind, doll.” He grinned against your lips before he began to nibble along your jaw, sending ripples of gooseflesh down your neck.

“Uh-uh.” You breathed, gripping the skin of his neck as your knees felt about ready to give out.

“Just hold on tight.” He tilted his head to suck at your earlobe, gripping your hips as he slowly sank down to sit on the bench behind him, pulling you with him.

His hands slid further down your legs, guiding them apart to straddle his thigh, pushing your skirt higher to allow you to settle snuggly against his broad quadricep. Your jaw dropped open as your core pressed tightly against him, a mortifying squeak-like sound escaping your throat.

“Yeah?” He smirked, kissing back towards your lips. “Figured by the way you were staring you might want to give it a whirl.”

If you had been able to speak, his mouth would have swallowed any reply that you could have summoned as it sealed tightly over yours once more. As it was, you brain was filled with static like a wireless that could not quite be tuned to a frequency. Your predicament only worsened as his fingers curled into your hips, ever so slowly rocking them forward against him, making you whimper raggedly. The sensation was only outdone by the feeling of him dragging you backward, the friction causing an unspeakable reaction to roll through your body.

“That feel good, doll?” Bucky rasped against your lips, and you nodded rapidly, mewling as he repeated the motion, though you also began to move of your own volition, chasing the feeling needily. “Sorry, didn’t quite catch that.” He teased and you tugged at the hair peaking out the back of his cap.

“Yes!” You gasped sharply before kissing him hungrily, your leg accidentally brushing against the bulge at the apex of his thighs, shuddering at the groan you earned from him in kind.

Perhaps it made you a wicked woman to take satisfaction in giving him pleasure, but it went to your head faster than any martini you had ever consumed. Digging the toes of your shoes into the grass, you shuffled closer to him so your thigh might brush against his length with each of your self-serving motions.

“Christ, doll.” He growled under his breath.

“Feel…good?” You panted teasingly, biting your lip at his ragged laugh.

“People underestimate you at their own goddamn peril.” He nipped at your chin, breath fanning hotly down your neck as you worked your body against his thigh with increasing need. “Try…this…” He grunted and tilted your pelvis forward.

You slumped forward against his chest, mouth gaping in a silent moan at the intense pleasure radiating from the new point of pressure. Legs nearly giving out from the blinding power of it, you were immensely grateful when Bucky obligingly kept on guiding your hips, continuing to pull the strings of tension tighter and tighter within your body.

“B…Bucky…” You gasped against his neck as your thighs began to tremble, on the precipice of something, wondering if this is what it felt like just before a B17 lifted off the runway.

“Go on, doll, it’s gonna be great.” He rumbled, pace not slackening, though his arms must have surely been aching by that point.

Inhaling sharply, you pressed your face tighter to his neck, desperately trying to smother your cry of pleasure as every string of tension snapped inside you with the force and brilliance of a fireworks display on the fourth of July. Melting against him, you were naught but a shuddering mess, underwear ruined, struggling to satisfy your body’s demand for oxygen as you gasped for breath. Bucky’s grip eased on your hips, his hands shifting to caress your back tenderly as he kissed down your temple to your cheek.

“As promised?” He cooed and you shivered at the feeling of his breath against your skin, every sensation still heightened.

“Better.” You licked your lips and dropped your hands to his chest, slowly pushing yourself up to sit properly, shuddering at the pressure against your still throbbing parts.

“Here, doll.” He carefully lifted you up to swing your legs across his lap carefully. “Take it easy.” He kissed your cheek tenderly, squeezing your side.

You sighed softly, swallowing thickly as you lifted your eyes to his. “People underestimate your sweetness at a great loss to themselves, Bucky.” Cupping his cheek, you guided his mouth to yours to place a gentle, appreciative kiss on his lips.

Feeling the curl of his smile, you could not help but echo the expression, breaking the seal of your mouth against his.

“Our little secret.” He teased, voice still raspy.

Hearing the crunch of footsteps on the gravel path leading up to the control tower, you tensed against him, frowning as you became acutely aware of the persistent problem that remained in his trousers.

“We should go.” He whispered and you nodded quickly.

“Sorry you’re still…” You trailed off, sliding onto oddly unstable legs, grateful for his bracing hands on your hips as he rose to his feet.

“Don’t worry about me, doll, I can take care of myself.” He pressed his lips to your ear after uttering his quiet statement, making you swallow almost painfully as your mouth went dry.

You lost all ability to function for a moment, swept up in the lurid possibilities contained in that simple phrase, before the sound of a door opening cut through the night, and your stupor.

“Night.” You whispered sharply before sprinting off towards the barracks, keeping to the edges of the field and hoping to stay out of sight.

Luck, it seemed, was not on your side, as Captain Miller called your name just a few feet shy of your quarters. You had been so very close. Turning quickly to face her, you scrambled for some excuse as to why you were not on the other side of the door behind you.

“Lieutenant, did you get lost on your way over here?” She arched an eyebrow coldly and you had to remind yourself the mechanics involved in a proper breath.

‘Inhale. Pause. Exhale.’

“No, Ma’am, I just…realized when I got back here that Vi had asked me to be sure she didn’t stay out too late, and that I had left without her.”

Captain Miller’s eyes narrowed skeptically. “And where is your Georgian, troublemaking friend now, hmm?”

The lie had come so naturally, had been so plausible, but now that you were wrapped up in it, it felt like it might just drag you down to the bottom like an anchor.

“I’m here, Captain Miller, Ma’am.” Came a cheery call from further up the path, you friend still cloaked by darkness but by some miracle, arriving just in time to save your hide.

An exhale of annoyance escaped Captain Miller’s nostrils as she whipped back to see Vi, arm linked with Ruth’s, sauntering over to your shared quarters.

“Thank you again, darling, for reminding me to come back on time.” She gave you a tremendous, edging on comical, wink and it was all you could do not to grimace.

You may have been off the hook with Captain Miller, but Vi would surely exact a price for this rescue.

“To bed with you all, then, ladies.” Your Captain grunted and the three of you delivered a set of sharp salutes before ducking into your hut quickly.

“All the gory details, now, darling, or Captain Miller will learn just what you’ve been up to, and I’m certain it’s far from innocent.” Vi grinned wickedly as she dragged you to sit on her cot between herself and Ruth.

You were reticent to share the gory details, wanting to keep the taste of him on your lips, the way it felt to be pressed again him, as just yours. But there was a part of you that revelled in the telling of the simplified, polished version of your encounter on the bench behind the control tower the pair of you called ‘yours.’ And it certainly seemed to satisfy your debt, both Ruth and Vi grinning, crowing in glee by the time you got to Vi’s rescue.

“Our darling dark horse, unexpected champion at taming the rogue Major Egan.”

You scoffed and shook your head shyly. “I doubt that I’ve tamed him, Vi…” You protested but she just smirked with a tilt of her head.

“I’m willing to bet money on that fact, but I suppose time will tell.” She winked dramatically and you just rolled your eyes.

Within four days, Bucky was on his way back to France. The target was an aircraft factory in Rouen near Paris. Of those chosen, you undoubtedly preferred the targets closer to England. The flying time was shorter and thereby so was the period of wondering and waiting. Strategically, you absolutely understood the importance of the targets deep in Germany, but if the Regensburg raid had carried any lessons, it was that those targets were invariably the costliest.

Hoping to catch a glimpse of him before he went up, you retraced your steps, following the same path you had on the morning of the seventeenth, cutting in front of the equipment hangar. The feeling of a leather-clad hand seizing yours and tugging you behind the building had you gasping in surprise before you laid eyes on your target, grinning slightly at your success.

“Morning, doll.” Bucky murmured and kissed you quickly.

You allowed his lips to linger on yours for several seconds before pulling back quickly to glance around, checking if you had been spotted. “Be safe up there, Bucky.” You swallowed and he nodded.

“Think you could wear that lipstick again for me later? It sure looked nice all over my neck.” He smirked broadly as your jaw dropped in response, lifting a hand to smack his shoulder.

“Don’t push your luck.” You chided, wagging a finger playfully, and he laughed brightly in reply, lips meeting your cheek before he strolled over to the waiting crew truck.

You watched him go from your obscured vantage point, waiting until the vehicle had pulled away before you turned to continue on your way to your desk.

“Lieutenant?”

You jumped and turned to see the post clerk, Petty, hurrying towards you with a letter in his hand.

“Letter for you, Ma’am.”

“Thank you very much, Sergeant.” You smiled. “Did you manage to get the boys first?” You asked curiously, and he nodded so quickly you were worried his head might fall right off his shoulders.

“Yes Ma’am, got ‘em at breakfast.” His boyish grin of pride was infectious, tugging at the corners of your mouth, briefly easing the tension that seeped into your bones on mission days.

“Well done, Sergeant. Have a good day!” You returned the quick salute he gave you before he hurried on his way, heavy bag hefted over his shoulder.

Glancing over the envelope you swallowed as it appeared to be written in your father’s handwriting rather than your mother’s – unusual. She was often the one to manage the letter writing and mailing process and he would add a paragraph or two depending on what was happening back home that he thought would be of interest to you. Swallowing down your sense of unease, you slid the envelope into your pocket to focus on the mission. The letter had already taken several weeks to reach you, a few more hours would not make any difference.

Shortly after noon, they were already back; Colonel Harding walking past the office muttering about Major Egan’s displeasure in the weather. It seemed only one plane had been able to drop their bombs, and not even on the primary target. Exhaling deeply to hear confirmation of his return, the ever-present feeling of the envelope in your pocket suddenly took on an immense weight. Claiming an upset stomach, which only garnered a knowing grin from your desk mate, you excused yourself to step out back, wandering to the edge of the field to tear into the flap with somewhat savage impatience. Heart in your throat, your shaking fingers pulled the folded paper from within its confines and your eyes began scanning across the page rapidly, your sense of unease cresting like a tidal wave.

I need you to be very brave for me now, dear girl…

Your father’s words blurred in front of your eyes behind a sudden influx of tears. You did not even need to read the rest of the sentence to know. Perhaps you had known all morning – since Petty had set the envelope in your hand. Your brother was gone. Most likely had been for weeks, for all the time it had taken the news to reach you, across one ocean and then another. An agonized sob clawed its way up your throat, and you quickly pressed a hand over your mouth to smother it, taking off running towards your quarters, trying desperately to keep your grief at bay until you could be alone.

Eyes barely open, running across rough ground, it was no surprise when your foot snagged on some unseen obstacle, wrenching your right ankle and sending your sprawling across the grass and partially onto a pathway. Your right knee dashed against something sharp, your hands flying forward to catch your body, the letter you had been clasping fluttering to the ground beside you. The gravel bit angrily against your palms as it chewed its way into your tender flesh, and you could feel the warm trickle of blood soaking into your ruined right stocking. The shock and pain of your collision with the earth overthrew your ability to control your emotions and a strangled sob of anguish, frustration, and loss flew from your lips.

“God…dammit…” You gasped out, suddenly furious with the universe at large.

You had never known a world without your brother. His existence was a constant you had apparently come to rely on, and now that he had been wrenched from this plane, you were not certain what you could believe in at all. Allowing just a few tears to escape began an unstoppable chain reaction, your shoulders shaking as you remained sprawled across the ground, clenching fistfuls of gravel as you gave into your grief. It was utterly self-indulgent. You were not the first woman to have lost a brother to this ugly war, but he was yours and he was gone.

‘Get. Up.’ The lone, rational part of your brain chided. ‘Your father needs you to be brave. You’re making a goddamn scene. Get. Up. You petulant child. What if someone sees you.’

Like some kind of prophecy, you heard the quizzical call of your name. You could only hope the owner of that voice was still far enough away for you to make your escape. Sniffling sharply, almost painfully, to try and stem the flow of tears, you tried desperately to struggle to your feet. Your knee throbbed in protest, your ankle wobbling unsteadily, your palms stung in pain, and all you managed was to roll onto your backside.

A pair of strong, familiar arms slid around your waist, pulling you back into a warm chest, the fleece of his collar brushing against your damp cheeks.

“I’ve got you doll.” Bucky murmured into your hair, and you shuddered, fighting back the urge to simply break down sobbing once more.

Holding out your hands awkwardly in front of you, trying to minimize the transfer of blood onto your respective uniforms, you leaned back into his warmth despite the fact that it was a sunny August day.

“Let’s get you to the doctor.” His voice was tense, wound tight with concern, and absent his usually playfulness as he slowly eased you to your feet.

“I’m fine.” You tried to protest, but an inadvertent whimper escaped your mouth as you tried to bear weight on your right leg.

“The hell you are.” He growled a little, pulling your arm over his shoulders, sliding his own arm around your waist, practically hefting you against his body.

As he turned to begin walking you down the path, you gasped to see your abandoned letter tumbling through the grass on the breeze.

“My letter!”

“I got it.” He grunted and set you down, fetching it quickly and shoving it in his pocket before lifting you up against him once more, helping you towards the hospital.

“I’m sorry…” You whispered, keeping your gaze on the ground as you hobbled along beside him, not wanting to meet the eyes of anyone you may have passed along the way.

“Got nothing to apologize for, doll.” He shook his head, assisting you through the doors and into the building that smelled sharply of disinfectant.

“What about the blood on your clothes?” You protested.

“Probably mine.”

You looked to him quickly, frowning at the mirthless smile he delivered – an empty attempt at his usual humor. You noted he did seem to be in one piece, thankfully.

“What on earth…” Gasped the nurse on duty at the front desk as she hurried forward to slide your other arm over her shoulders, leading the pair of you to a bed in triage where she quickly began to remove your ruined stocking and deal with your still-bleeding knee. “This is probably going to need stitches, Lieutenant.”

You nodded silently, frowning down at her as she began to pluck the debris from your hands.

“What’s happened, Lieutenant?” A new voice joined the conversation, and you looked up to see one of the doctors, denoted by his white coat, had come to stand beside the nurse while Bucky loomed in the background, arms crossed, brow furrowed as he watched on intensely.

“Got some bad news, sir.” You replied, seizing the inside of your cheek between your teeth to deliver a sharp, steadying bite to your flesh as your lower lip wobbled traitorously. “It made me clumsy, and I tripped.”

You watched Bucky’s face somber even further than it already was, his arms unfolding to fall at his sides, though his fists remained clenched. You looked away quickly as you were certain he had been able to do the math. To figure out just what terrible news had driven you to your current state and you could not endure his look of sympathy – not and remain collected.

“We’ll take good care of her, Major.” The doctor said in a kind yet obvious dismissal and there was a moment of silence before you heard Bucky approach the side of your bed, pressing his lips to your temple.

“I’m going to let that terrifying Captain of yours know that you won’t be working the rest of the day.” He spoke softly, for only you to hear, and your head whipped to look at him, startled that he would dare take on Captain Miller.

Your eyes fell on the lingering marks on his cheek and nose from the Regensburg raid, wanting to protest, but on finding you simply did not have the energy to fight him, you conceded with a nod. By the time he returned, no more than thirty minutes later, you were cleaned, stitched, and bandaged with a tensor wrap on your ankle and a set of crutches.

“You need to keep off that ankle as much as possible, Lieutenant.” Doctor McLean, it turned out his name was, instructed.

“Yes, sir.”

“Shouldn’t be a problem, Doc, I’ll make sure she gets where she needs to go.” Bucky chimed in and you looked to him, surprised he had returned so quickly.

“Thank you Major, with that in mind, you are free to go young lady. Keep to the pathways moving forward, please?”

“Yes, sir.” You repeated and used the crutches to rise to your feet, tucking them into your armpits to make slow progress toward the door.

Bucky followed along, patiently, removing any obstacles from your path before gesturing at the waiting jeep out front.

“Your chariot, doll.”

You looked to him skeptically. “I highly doubt this would be considered an appropriate use of army property, Major Egan.”

He shrugged. “No one else was using it, come on.” He guided you around to the passenger’s side, helping you onto the bench seat before taking your crutches to stash in the back. “You really, ok?” He asked quietly as he came to sit in the driver’s seat.

Nodding softly, you squeezed his hand as his fingers laced briefly with yours until he was forced to take it back to drive the vehicle. The trip to your quarters was markedly shorter thanks to the jeep, and you were unspeakably relieved to not have had to face it on crutches alone. Turning to thank Bucky, you blinked as he was already climbing out, bringing your crutches around.

“If you get caught in this area…”

“I’m assisting you to your quarters after an injury.” He insisted stubbornly and held them out to you.

You glanced around slowly before taking them, sliding to your feet carefully before making your way inside, once again grateful for his assistance as you hobbled over to your cot and sat heavily.

“Thank you, Bucky, you’ve been a really big help, but if you’re caught in here someone is going to murder you…”

He came to rest on his knees beside your bed, clearly choosing not to hear, or simply not caring about, your continued warnings. You pressed your lips together tightly, tucking them between your teeth as he produced your father’s letter from his pocket, setting it on the blanket beside you.

“I’m real sorry about your brother, doll.” He said quietly, forehead creased with unmasked sympathy. Your defences promptly crumbled, tears welling in your eyes and promptly spilling down your cheeks. “Hey, hey, shhh.” He shifted to quickly sit beside you, cradling you across his lap, holding you close as you turned your face to sob into his chest, fingers twisting into the fleece lining of his jacket where it hung open.

You lost all track of time in his arms, feeling safe enough to simply let your emotions run their course, have their way with you, in the privacy of your quarters. Thus, it was a surprise when you heard the gently clearing of Mary’s throat, lifting your head quickly to see her holding out one of her immaculate hankies while politely keeping her gaze on the rustic ceiling above.

“I have it on good authority that Captain Miller will be checking in on our darling Lieutenant shortly, so you may want to make yourself scarce, Major.” Her tone was warm and conspiratorial.

“Thank you, Mary.” Bucky spoke for the first time in a while, voice somewhat roughened by disuse. “I’ll see you for your ride to breakfast, doll.”

“Bucky, that’s really not necessary–”

“She usually eats at 0545.” Mary cut you off, clearly allying herself with him and against you. “Now I’ll take it from here.”

You huffed affectionately as he pressed his lips to your forehead. “You rest.”

“You, too.” You insisted stubbornly, feeling somewhat encouraged when he bestowed a smirk on you in response, sliding you from his lap onto the cot carefully and making his way out to remove himself and the jeep before your Captain could find him where he ought not to be.

“What was that you were saying to Vi and Ruth about not having tamed him?” Mary smirked, grabbing the hanky to begin dabbing at your cheeks with motherly roughness.

-------------------------

Read Part Three - "Trust Me, He's In Good Hands."

"Trust" Series Masterlist

Tag list: @gretagerwigsmuse, @precious-little-scoundrel, @rubyfruitjungle, @storysimp

#john egan x reader #bucky egan x reader #john egan fic #john egan imagine #mota fanfic #masters of the air fanfiction

[yelena-bellova]

Twenty Years Later: Joel Miller x F!Reader - Chapter Sixteen

Chapter Sixteen: The Great Sin

Plot: Joel and Y/n, separated once again, are told the truth about the cost that will come with creating a cure.

Word Count: 7.4k

Warnings: canon violence, drug abuse, language, blood, guns, needles, loss of a child, ptsd, (16+)

A/N: Well, we’re almost to the end 🥲 I can’t believe there’s only one chapter after this and then it’s over. Rather than think about that, I’m going to focus on letting y’all enjoy this one ❤️

As always, this series is 16+ and I will not be adding anyone to the taglist that does not have their age/range in their bio. This is also the last chance to be added to the list!

Alrighty, let’s finish it out strong, y’all ❤️❤️❤️

—————

Y/n woke with her head throbbing.

Before her eyes even opened, her brain splitting from the pain she couldn’t remember earning. In the darkness of her lids, she slowly drew on her last fuzzy memories.

Puns.

Flash bomb.

Ellie screaming.

Y/n’s eyes flew open, pushing up on her elbow and feeling a stab of pain through her abdomen.

“I wouldn’t do that if I were you.”

Blinking until her vision was clear, Y/n looked across to room to see Marlene leant up against the wall.

“We gave you a shot for your ribs,” she continued, “But it’s not magic.”

“Yeah, well, maybe you should’ve put out a PSA,” Y/n replied groggily, the force of the flash bomb coming back to her.

Marlene smiled thinly, “Could’ve found a phone along the way.”

Y/n bristled at the joke, relieved to see her comrade alive.

“Gotta admit,” Marlene crossed her arms, “I didn’t expect to see you all in one piece. Figured you’d either run into raiders or you and Joel would go the double-homicide route.”

Y/n held her belly as she attempted to sit up. “Almost did,” she groaned, “A few times.”

“Well,” Marlene gestured to Y/n, watching her with honest eyes, “I underestimated you. You did good.”

Y/n wanted to accept the praise, having finally proven herself as a fighter, but was single-minded in her thoughts. “Where’s Joel?”

“Recovering in another room,” Marlene answered, “His vitals are good, just hasn’t woken up yet.”

Nodding, Y/n carefully swung her legs over the side of the bed, ”When he wakes up, tell him to come find me? Ellie’s probably worried sick…”

“Where are you going?” Marlene asked.

Y/n stopped to take a breath, whatever medicine they’d given her hadn’t kicked in yet. “To see Ellie,” she answered plainly, “She’s okay, right?”

Marlene sighed with dread, knowing whatever was about to happen wouldn’t be pleasant. But she also had a one-track mind, and it was humming a different tune than Y/n’s.

“She’s fine,” she replied, her tone having shifted to instill a false calm, “She’s being prepped for surgery.”

Y/n’s brow furrowed in confusion, “Surgery? I thought they were just taking her blood?”

“It’s…” Marlene said with a heaviness to her tone, “A little more complicated than that.”

Even though the ache in Y/n’s temples was dizzying, it didn’t take her long to connect the dots as to why it would require surgery to facilitate the vaccine.

And she felt the floor go out from under her when she did.

She looked up to Marlene, barely able to even shake her head, “No…”

Marlene bit her lip, turning her gaze from Y/n and to the floor.

“No…” Y/n repeated, her voice low, “N-no…you wouldn’t.”

Marlene’s painful silence sliced through her.

“Are you kidding me?” Y/n’s volume grew loud with anger, giving her the strength to stand, “You made me risk my life for that girl for three fucking months just so you can kill her?!”

“She wouldn’t have come here with anyone other than you,” Marlene replied calmly, “She trusts you.”

“So you used me,” Y/n’s eyes widened with rage, “You knew I cared about her, you knew I’d do it.”

“You’re not looking at the big picture,” Marlene interjected, taking a step forward but not moving any closer to Y/n, “We get the vaccince, we save millions. We save the millions to come. We can bring the world back to what-“

The rest of Marlene’s words died to the ringing in Y/n’s ears. She braced one of her hands against her bed, feeling as if her knees were going to buckle.

Throughout her time in the Fireflies, Marlene had never entrusted Y/n with as much information as other recruits. It wasn’t for doubt of Y/n’s interests, but rather Marlene thinking Y/n was incapable of handling it. She’d always been slow to pull the trigger, something that had in any other world would have made her merciful. Marlene had only ever seen it as weakness.

Marlene’s opinion of Y/n wasn’t lost on her, she felt it on a daily basis. But to make her travel from one side of the country to another, witholding the sickening truth of what she was doing from her, that was a new brand of cruel.

“She’s going to fix everything,” were the first words of Marlene’s that broke through Y/n’s spinning thoughts.

Her head shot up, staring daggers at Marlene, “You don’t get to make that decision for her.”

“And you do?” Marlene replied, “What gives you the right to choose her fate?”

“Did you ask her?” Y/n inquired, the building rage beginning to seep out of her, “No, y’know what? I can tell by your face that you didn’t.”

“She doesn’t know,” Marlene could feel control over the conversation slipping, she needed to deescalate it quickly, “She’s not going to feel anything.”

“YOU’RE KILLING,” Y/n yelled as loud as her lungs would let her, “A FUCKING CHILD!”

At the last word, two guards stationed outside Y/n’s door marched in, their rifles cocked downards, but ready to strike.

Y/n was quickly starting to understand the gravity of her situation.

Marlene held out a hand to Y/n, as if trying to ease a carnivorous animal. “Do you think I want to do this? Do you not think that I’ve looked for any other option-“

“No,” Y/n shook her head, “I don’t think you have.”

“I knew her mother, Y/n,” Marlene spoke a little louder, “I was there when she was born, and I had to put a bullet in my best friend’s head because she was infected. I promised to keep her child safe. I do not want to do this,” she paused, collecting herself, “But it’s my only choice.”

Three months prior, hearing such a personal story would have meant something to Y/n. Now, it only served to illuminate the true colors of her comrade. Marlene, so blinded by her determination to restore the earth, had allowed her drive to turn to ruthlessness and morph into heartlessness.

“No,” Y/n said, fighting back tears at the thought of Ellie lying unconscious somehwere in the hospital, “Look me in the eye and tell me her mother would want this,” she waited, until impatience won out, “LOOK AT ME!”

Marlene was a lot of things, blunt was one of them. She looked up to Y/n’s red face, unaware of the storm her words were about to trigger, “You’re not her mother.”

The waves in Y/n’s body both crashed and fell at the statement. It was twenty years all over again.

“Take me to Joel,” she swallowed her tears, “I want to see Joel.” When Marlene averted her gaze once again, Y/n could feel some other essential piece of truth shift into darkness. “Marlene,” she gritted out, “Where’s Joel?”

“He’s gone,” Marlene answered, “He left as soon as he knew that you and Ellie were okay.”

Y/n lip quivered with fury, the lies were so clear now. Joel and her hadn’t gone through all they had, made the promises they did only for him to abandon her and Ellie. “No. He wouldn’t do that.”

“I don’t know what you want to hear,” Marlene said, “But he’s gone.”

It was then that Y/n realized she was no longer a Firefly, but a prisoner.

With the last shred of her future slipping being ripped away from her, Y/n’s fury took over. She lunged towards Marlene, one of the soldiers surging forward and shoving her back onto the bed. Y/n cried out in pain, clutching her stomach as the barrel of the rifle was drawn on her.

“Don’t,” Marlene ordered the guard, “She’s already hurt.”

Y/n could no longer hold in her sobs. Ellie had been fooled into dying for a solution they didn’t even know was guaranteed, Joel was being forced to leave them behind, and she was essentially being held hostage by those she’d once trusted with her life.

“You keep her here,” Marlene continued speaking to the guards as if the pain was too incapacitating for Y/n to have any presence of mind, “Lock the doors. Don’t let her out until she calms down.”

Still weeping from both the ache in her ribs and the turn of events, Y/n nearly didn’t open her eyes when she heard Marlene’s boot steps come towards her.

“I know you care about her,” Marlene said softly, “She cares about you too. But there’s such a thing as caring too much…and I’m sorry.”

Through her tears, Y/n watched as her one-time friend walked out the door, washing her hands of the matter.

“You motherfucker,” Y/n growled, getting her feet as the guards exited the room, “You fucking murderer!”

As the door shut and locked on her, Y/n began to bang her fists against the 8x10 pane of glass, “YOU FUCKING MURDERER! YOU MOTHERFUCKING MURDERER!”

Y/n screamed at the top of her lungs, hot tears pouring down her face as three months of love and care wilted at her feet.

—————————

In reality, Joel was on the next floor down, fighting for his, Y/n and Ellie’s futures. He knew that the love of his life would never roll over and allow them to take Ellie’s life.

“Where’s Y/n?”

Marlene sighed at the question, contrary to what she was sure her reputation was, deception didn’t come easily to her. But she did what she had to for her cause.

There had always been a fire in Y/n, however tamed it was by her more virtuous qualities. Marlene had kept a careful eye on the blaze, never thinking it would spread too far. But there’d been a change in Y/n since they’d last seen each other in Boston, and she was certain her love for Ellie and time spent with Joel had brought it out in her. If they had survived three months in the ruins of civilization, they were dangerous. They needed to be kept apart if the surgery was to be a success.

“She’s decided to stay,” Marlene locked in her story, “She wants to see this through all the way.”

Joel didn’t believe for 1/8th of a second that Y/n would have lied to him. He’d looked in her eyes and watched twenty years of history dance across her irises. He could feel the weight of their future inside his chest, glowing gold with hope. There was no way after all they’d been through that she would walk away from him, just like that…

“No, you take me to ‘em,” he demanded, rising from the bed, “You take me to ‘em right now!”

One of Marlene’s guards came forward and used the butt of his rifle to knock him to the ground. Joel grunted and coughed on his hands and knees, his mind spinning with fear.

“Please,” he begged of Marlene, “You don’t understand.”

“I do,” Marlene said solemnly, reciting a less emotional variation of the story she’d told Y/n five minutes prior, “I was there when she was born, Joel. I promised her mom that I would save her child, I promised,” she paused to swallow back the lump rising in her throat, “So I do understand. I’m the only one who understands. I’m sorry,” she shook her head, “I have no other choice.”

Joel was a lot of things, but a coward wasn’t one of them. He glared up at Marlene, subtly threatening, “I do.”

Marlene looked exasperated, like his fight was some obstacle in her path to roll her eyes at. “Walk him out to the highway,” she ordered the soldiers, “Leave him there with his pack. Give him this,” she unclipped Ellie’s pocketknife from her belt, turning her stare to Joel, “He tries anything…shoot him.”

Joel, dazed from the knowledge that Ellie and Y/n were being held somewhere, was forced to his feet. The soldiers pushed him out of the room, picking his backpack up on the way out, and shoved him down the hall.

All the while, Joel was carefully constructing his plan.

—————————

Y/n sat with her back to the door, twisting her arm to hit the wood with what little energy she had left. She had sobbed and screamed to be let out until her voice was rendered raw.

She had failed. Failed Ellie. Failed Joel. Failed herself.

She wondered if this was her punishment for what she’d done to her family. If for each life she’d taken, she’d lose somebody in return.

She thought of Sarah, her death that seemed to be written in some fucked up universe’s stars, and how she ached for the future she’d never live. The proms, the graduations, coming home from college during holidays, getting engaged, getting married, having kids…all of it. Or none of it. Her choices would have determined her story and whichever path she’d have chosen, it would have been beautiful.

Ellie had been deprived of so many choices in life, and now she was being deprived of choosing whether she lived or died.

By deciding to let Ellie give her life for a cause that wasn’t even hers, the Fireflies were no better than FEDRA. Marlene was making the same calls that the government had made in the first few days of the outbreak. Who got to go to the QZs and who died in a ditch on the side of a road, whose life had lasting value and who was disposable. It sickened Y/n’s stomach and made her wish she had never joined at all.

Since meeting Ellie, Y/n had often contemplated the ghost of the girl’s mother. Having filled the role herself and feeling like Sarah had been carved from her own ribs, she couldn’t imagine what it was like to carry a child, birth her, and then lose her somewhere along the way…now, all she could think of was what Ellie’s mother would do if she were trapped as Y/n was. Would she fight? Would she break the glass with her fist and take on the guards? Or was she just cruel enough to sacrifice her daughter for the greater good? Could Y/n have left Sarah to die if, in some way, she’d held the key to the planet’s salvation?

Y/n took a deep breath, her mind the clearest it had been since waking up.

No parent would let their child die, no matter the circumstances.

And neither could she.

—————————

Joel paused in front of the hospital directory, eyes scanning over the levels and their corresponding departments. He was two floors away from pediatric surgery, and unknowingly, one floor away from where Y/n was being held.

“I didn’t hear anyone say ‘stop,’” one of the Fireflies behind him growled.

Joel glanced down the hall, “Which way?”

“Down the stairs,” the soldier answered, shoving Joel towards the stairwell.

With each flight Joel marched down, he was completing calculations in his mind. How quick did he have to move to take out both guardsmen? Which gun would be easier to reach? Did he rescue Ellie first or find Y/n and gain an extra pair of hands?

Once he decided, he let his steps slow until he came to a complete stop.

“The fuck are you doin’? Keep walking.”

Joel ignored the command.

“I said,” the Firefly grabbed Joel’s shoulder, “Keep walkin’-“

Lightning fast, Joel spun around, elbowing the man in the neck and knocking him to the floor. He nabbed his rifle as he fell, spinning around to shoot the second guard before he could even aim. Taking two steps back, he fired one shot into the first man’s leg.

“Fuck,” the soldier whimpered.

“Where are they?” Joel asked, his finger perfectly still against the trigger.

“Fuck you,” the Firefly growled.

Joel didn’t need his answer. Bill’s written words were etched in the caverns of his mind, about finding that one person to save. In Joel’s case, there were two people worth saving-

“I don’t have time for this,” he decided before planting a bullet in the man’s neck.

And he was doing it by any means necessary.

—————————

Y/n fiddled with her pocketknife in her hand, pacing the room as the pain in her ribs disappeared under the blanket of whatever medication Marlene had given her. She needed the guards outside her room to get pulled away so that she could pick the door’s lock. Once out, she had to steal a gun, find where Ellie was being held, figure out if Joel was still in the building and get them the hell out of dodge.

All she needed was a chance.

“Shots fired! Shots fired!”

The buzz of a radio caught Y/n’s ear, it pulled her to the door and she peered out the glass pane. The pencil stiff stance the soldiers had been maintaining was suddenly sharp with worry. One guard came running down the hall, shouting something Y/n couldn’t make out. Whatever it was caused her captors to charge down the hall as well. It was a threat that required every hand on deck.

Y/n nearly smiled, knowing exactly who could cause that kind of panic.

Slipping her blade into the lock, she fiddled with it until the door opened, freeing her. She threw her backpack over her shoulder, her eye catching on a tray balanced on the bedside table. It contained the used needle they’d already injected her with, plus one full syringe. Y/n picked up the two vials near the needles, one labeled ‘ibuprofen’ and one labeled ‘epinephrine.’

Y/n was weak, her body’s strength drained from trying to heal her ribs. There wasn’t any way she could fight her way out in her current state.

Without hesitation, she squeezed the flesh of her thigh and stabbed the needle through her jeans, discarding it on the floor after.

Drawing a deep breath, Y/n poked her head out the door, looking down each side of the hall before cutting across to the nurse’s station. She scanned the length of the counters for anything she could use as a weapon, finding only old papers and equipment. Distantly below her, she could hear gunfire.

“Hey,” a gruff voice shouted.

Y/n spun around, barely dropping to the floor before the Firefly soldier fired two shots at her. Crouched on the tile, she could feel the epinephrine beginning to kick in, bringing back the strength she’d lost in Silver Lake. She withdrew her knife once again, hiding behind the nurse’s station and listening to the footsteps of the Firefly come closer.

Y/n knew that to save what she loved, she would have to leave whatever was left of her humanity. The part of her that had hesitated to kill had to die by her own hands.

The soldier moved closer.

Closer…

The second his boot became visible, Y/n stabbed the knife through his foot, punching him in the chin when he bent down in pain. She got to her feet and ripped the rifle out of the Firefly’s hands, shooting him in the stomach after.

She stepped over his body, leaving him to bleed out.

—————————

Joel’s steps were inhumanly silent as he crept through the hospital. He fired each shot with machine-like precision, each Firefly falling to the floor, never to pick themselves back up.

Joel had killed countless times since the outbreak of Cordyceps and had felt a healthy dose of remorse. The innocent people he’d killed in his days as a Raider haunted him, much like they did Tommy, and he wasn’t sure he’d ever forget Y/n’s eyes as she’d watched him murder the FEDRA guard in Boston.

But as Joel stealthily made his way through the hospital, firing each bullet for the love of his life and the child they loved more than anything, he felt nothing.

—————————

Y/n had tried so hard to live as peacefully as the world would allow her. Despite joining the Fireflies, she never volunteered for first line of defense. If bombs were planted in the city, Y/n was the one counting them, not detonating them. As much as she’d hidden initially from Joel with bloody threats, she’d never committed any acts of violence unless they were absolutely necessary.

Marching down the hospital halls, tears pooled in her eyes with each kill she made until she was sobbing. Flashes of her parents, her siblings, her nephew, Sarah, played in her mind. Their innocence and their gruesome deaths she’d forever feel responsible for. Saving Ellie wouldn’t bring them back, but she couldn’t let another person she cared for die.

Red cheeked and puffy eyed, she murdered without hesitation, allowing love to turn her into a necessary monster.

—————————

Joel went from victim to victim, playing God and delivering their vicious, premature fates. Each time he ran out of ammo, he’d pick up the rifle of his last kill. It all flowed so sickeningly perfect.

He climbed the fourth floor stairwell, shooting the Fireflies attempting to sneak up on him before they knew what was going on. With his better ear, he could hear the gunfire on the floor he was approaching.

He wasn’t the only one putting up a fight.

As soon as Joel stepped onto the fifth floor, a barrage of bullets rained down around him. He ducked behind a wall, waiting for them to slow before running across to the other side of the hall. He let his ammo fly freely, taking down the Fireflies as sloppily as he needed to.

Just as he aimed at the final one, the soldier was kicked to the floor, Y/n stepping on his back and making a fatal shot.

Through his necessary numbness, Joel felt a rush of relief.

Y/n ignored every instinct she had to run into Joel’s arms and instead bent down, picking up the soldier’s rifle and the extra ammo off his belt. Joel did the same with a nearby body.

The two lovers met in the middle of the hall, their weapons resting against their chests, separating their bodies.

Twenty years ago, they were somewhere in a downtown bar, Joel trying to make her laugh and Y/n trying to pretend like she was perfectly capable of taking her eyes off of him. They were warm, they were happy, they were them.

Two decades later, they were stood in an abandoned hospital, rifles on their shoulders, blood on their clothes and vengeance in their eyes. They were bruised, they were broken, they were survivors.

They carried on the same way, shooting anyone who dared to get in their way as they climbed the building. Joel made the more gruesome kills, trying to spare Y/n what little pain he could, but Y/n was fearsome in her own right. The adrenaline from the epinephrine had heightened her senses, making her hyperaware of everything around her. If a Firefly so much as stepped an inch out from behind a wall, Y/n’s rifle was trained on him, not letting him live more than half a second.

Eventually, they made it.

The sixth floor.

With their sin all over them, Joel and Y/n walked down the hallway, passing the walls decorated with animal murals and creating a gruesome contrast. The glowing door at the end of the hall acted as their guiding light, the homing beacon they’d chased through the bloody battlefield they’d created.

Joel pushed the door open and they walked in, a window giving them a view into the operating room. Ellie was laid out on a table, a nurse was holding a gas mask to her face, drawing her into unconsciousness.

They were nearly too late.

Y/n, with adrenaline pumping through her veins, broke away from Joel and burst through the second set of doors. The doctor and nurses gasped in horror, jumping at the sudden sight.

“Unhook her,” Y/n growled, “Now.”

The doctor took a step towards Y/n, “How did you get in here?”

Joel was close behind her, Y/n’s speed drawing him out of his daze. “Unhook her,” he echoed.

The doctor nervously reached for a scalpel, holding it up to Joel and Y/n with shaking hands. “I won’t let you take her.”

He’d taken one step towards Y/n before Joel shot him, beating the epinephrine to protect her.

The nurses screamed and covered their ears, Y/n took it as her opportunity to move in on them.

“Un,” she enunciated, backing the women up towards Ellie’s bed, “Hook…her…now.”

“Move!” Joel shouted, keeping his gun drawn on them.

The nurses stepped to, unhooking Ellie’s various monitors and taking out her IV, a small stream of blood escaping the leftover hole. Joel couldn’t stand the sight of her bleeding.

“Cover her arm,” he ordered once again, “Fast.”

They obeyed and taped a piece of gauze to Ellie’s arm.

“Turn around,” Joel said as Y/n came back to stand beside him.

The nurses, shaking and whimpering in fear for their lives, did as they were told and turned their backs. Y/n kept her gun trained on them while Joel moved to Ellie, cupping the back of her neck and sitting her up. With the reassurance of her shallow breaths against his neck, his worst fear stayed buried twenty years in the past. He lifted Ellie into his arms delicately, his brutality melting to tenderness as soon as he’d touched her.

As Joel carried Ellie out of the room, Y/n stayed on his six and kept her gun aimed. She didn’t spare a glance at the doctor or the operating table as she left, unable to look at even one reminder of what could have been.

Joel and Y/n made it back down the hall, walking with the speed of criminals but the exhaustion of two people who had just laid waste to the world. Y/n tapped the elevator call button rapidly, the true effect of the epinephrine was starting to hit. She stumbled into the car behind Joel, smacking the button for the parking garage and leaned up against the wall. Her heart was slamming against her chest, sweat was pooling at her temples, her body was buzzing.

Joel peered over at her, concerned, and received a passive shake of the head.

“Is she okay?” Y/n whispered in between panting breaths.

“Yeah,” Joel mumbled, staring down at Ellie. The reality of the decision they’d made was beginning to hit them both.

They were dooming the world to save theirs.

The elevator gave them little time to think, dinging as it hit the bottom floor and opening its doors. Y/n stepped out ahead of Joel, her rifle pointed towards any threats lurking in the shadows. Joel spotted a parked and running car, the two of them made a beeline for the vehicle.

“You can’t keep her safe forever.”

Y/n spun around, Marlene stepped out from the darkness with her handgun drawn. Y/n didn’t hesitate to keep her rifle raised.

“No matter how hard you two try,” Marlene took slow, steady steps towards them, “No matter how many people you kill, she’s gonna grow up. And then you’ll die, she’ll leave. Then what? How long till she’s torn apart by Infected or murdered by raiders? Because she lives in a broken world that you could have saved.”

There was truth to what Marlene was saying, neither Joel nor Y/n could deny that.

“Maybe,” Joel answered, “But it isn’t for you to decide.”

“Or you two,” Marlene replied, her eyes flicking to Ellie, “So what would she decide, huh? ‘Cause I think she’d wanna do what’s right.”

Y/n nearly flinched, torn between Ellie’s fierce desire to protect and the plans she had for her future.

“And you know it,” Marlene’s gaze fell on Y/n, seeing the unsureness from her comrade. She slowly lowered her gun, “It’s not too late. Even now, even after what you two’ve done…we can still find a way.”

Y/n and Joel had lost everything to Cordyceps, one way or another. They’d lost their daughter, Y/n had lost her future with Joel and Tommy, her family, Joel had eventually lost Tommy, Tess, Bill and Frank…Cordyceps had taken anything and everything meaningful in their lives. They should have been first in line for advocating for a cure, and they would have been…

But nothing, not even the salvation of the world, was worth losing Ellie.

And that was what made it so easy for Y/n to shoot Marlene in the gut.

As soon as her former friend dropped to the floor, Y/n’s gun fell from her hands and her knees began to wobble. The room was spinning and her heartbeat was ramping up even further. The epinephrine was backfiring.

“No, no, no,” Joel mumbled, spinning around to put his back to Y/n as she fell forward, “Hold onto me.”

Y/n weakly reached around Joel’s neck and looped her arms around him.

Joel strained under the combination of Y/n and Ellie’s body weight, but his determination surpassed his body’s abilities. Carrying one and dragging the other, he fought his way to the truck. He shuffled Ellie in his arms to reach for the door, sliding her carefully into the backseat, before handling Y/n.

“What’s wrong?” Joel asked, twisting his body to take her into his arms, “What’s happening?”

Y/n, beginning to lose her grip on consciousness, shook her head once again and let her head loll against Joel’s shoulder.

“Hang on, hang on, honey,” Joel hurried, growing panicked that her injury had finally gotten to her and torn an organ, “Just hang on for me.”

Joel blindly reached for the passenger side door, he lifted Y/n with a grunt and placed her carefully in the seat. Brushing his hand against her cheek, he wiped the sweat off her skin.

“Rose,” Joel called in a rush as Y/n’s eyes began to flutter shut, slapping her face a few times, “Rose, honey, come on. Stay with me.”

A groan from behind them drew Joel’s attention and got Y/n to open her eyes. The two of them shared a knowing look, Joel swallowing harshly before dragging his fingers down Y/n’s perspiring cheek and unholstering his gun.

Y/n’s gaze followed him as he walked away from her, through the haze of the drugs, she felt some semblance of guilt. Not enough to make her call Joel’s name and ask he show mercy towards Marlene, but some little inkling of guilt that stood the chance at gnawing at her conscience if she ever came back to lucidity.

In the seconds before the bullet released from its chamber, Y/n memorialized her time with the Fireflies. She grieved their attempts to save Boston in the dark of night. The kids they’d lost in the fight, so eager to help, like Riley. All the battles that had seemed like part of something grander that now felt meaningless, now having seen the end goal. If death only bred death, and violence only bred violence, then perhaps there was truth to the old saying…the road to hell was paved with good intentions.

She tried, she thought, as a few tears escaped her eyes, she’d tried so hard to make a difference…

It had just been with the wrong people.

Joel fired one shot

Y/n was freed.

Joel hurried back to the truck and to Y/n’s side, her eyes were now shut and her pulse was slapping against her neck.

“Honey, come on,” Joel said softly, trying to calm both of them down, “I need you to take some deep breaths. Nice and slow.”

“Drive,” Y/n breathed, her heart practically beating out of her chest. Regardless of whether the epinephrine was going to kill her or not, they needed to escape.

Joel hesitated before pressing a kiss to Y/n’s forehead and shutting her door. He ran around the car, slamming its hood down and jumping in the driver’s seat. The keys were still in the ignition, there was nearly a full tank of gas. They were going to make it.

Joel looked over to Y/n, who had gone limp in her seat.

“Rose,” Joel practically shouted, reaching over to feel his love’s wrist, still feeling her pulse working overtime, “Honey, c’mon, wake up.”

“Drive, Joel,” Y/n slurred, her head slumped against her seat.

Joel did as requested and put the truck in drive, maneuvering them through the parking garage. All the while, he kept one trembling hand on Y/n’s knee, her rifle knocking against his knuckles each time they hit a speed bump. He didn’t know if by saving Ellie’s life, he was going to lose Y/n’s, and for once, Joel wanted a win. A full win. He didn’t want to sacrifice one more person.

The garage’s exit lay at the end of a long stretch of tunnel, the glow of daylight approaching faster and faster as Joel drove. Their three month journey would come to a close and his sins would see sunlight. And while anyone else would have said it had all been in vain, to risk one’s life to save humanity only to decide that humanity wasn’t worth the asking price, it wasn’t a waste. Not to Joel.

He glanced in the dashboard mirror, Ellie’s sleeping form in the backseat.

He looked over the glovebox, Y/n’s chest finally beginning to rise and fall at a steadier pace.

He would have done it all over again.

Every.

Single.

Part.

—————————

In a puddle of her own sweat, Y/n came to a few hours later, her head leaned up against the truck window. She blinked a few times, adjusting to the sunlight, and took stock of the rapidly moving landscape. There were forest trees and mountains in the distance.

“Hey,” Joel said, wrapping his hand around Y/n’s thigh.

“Hey,” she mumbled back, looking over to Joel, “Where are we?”

“Just outside of Wyoming,” he answered, rubbing his thumb across her jeans with a deep need to touch her, to assure himself she was okay. “Still a couple hours till we get to Tommy’s.”

Y/n hummed and nodded weakly, trying to look into the backseat at Ellie

“She’s been in and out,” Joel said, keeping his eyes focused on the road, “I told her about the raiders.”

Confusedly scrunching her brows, Y/n glanced back over at Joel.

“Attackin’ the hospital,” Joel continued, his pleading eyes drifting to his partner, “And about the tests they ran on her.”

“Yeah,” Y/n mumbled, reading Joel’s facial cues and coming to some understanding. She needed to be filled in on where she fit into the story.

Joel rubbed his hand over Y/n’s leg, “Get some sleep. I’ll wake ya when we’re close.”

There was so much she wanted to say, but her thoughts were too groggy to string more than two or three words together. With one scan of Joel’s clenched jaw and tired gaze, Y/n could tell he was feeling something similar. There’d be time for talking and setting their story straight, but for now, Y/n could close her eyes once more and settle into the knowledge that they were going home.

—————————

The next day, the car decided it had carried them far enough and the woods of Wyoming was where they’d part ways.

Joel examined the engine, a useless task considering they didn’t have the tools to repair anything, while Ellie and Y/n sat in the car.

“Well, she got us close enough,” Joel announced, coming around to the driver’s side, “We gotta walk the rest of the way. Probably about a five-hour hike,” he hung on the car door in front of Ellie, “But we can manage that. Remember?”

Ellie scanned her memories, bringing up their third day together, in the Massachusetts woods. She smiled, “Yeah.”

“Easy for you to say,” Y/n grunted as she used the backseat door to pull herself out of her seat, “You’re not walking around with two cracked fuckin’ ribs and a headache the size of Texas.”

“What happened to you back there anyway?” Ellie finally asked, Y/n had slept nearly the whole drive thus far. This was the longest she’d stayed awake.

“I did drugs,” Y/n replied honestly, having everything and nothing to hide.

“We’ll take it slow,” Joel promised, looping an arm around Y/n’s waist and kissing her forehead, “Take breaks.”

Y/n chuckled, “There’s a hot shower and a bed waiting on the other side of this fucking mountain,” she pointed up at the first hill they’d have to climb, “If anything, we’re shaving time off this thing.”

Joel smiled at the woman, who was already pulling Ellie to her feet and marching in the direction of their starting point.

As they hiked, Y/n’s energy started to go downhill again, and the painkillers she’d been given at the hospital had completely worn off. She leaned on Joel eventually, letting him brace some of her weight during the steeper portions.

Ellie, while concerned for Y/n’s wellbeing, was even more quiet than before they’d reached the hospital.

“Y’know, Sarah and I used to hike like this all the time,” Joel broke the silence and looked back to Ellie.

Y/n tilted her head towards Joel in surprise. It was the first time he’d brought up his daughter on his own accord…ever.

“I wouldn’t say it was her favorite thing. She wasn’t a fan of the mosquitos and such,” he continued, “But she was a big climber or…scampering. That’s probably the right word.”

“It is,” Y/n interjected, sharing a small smile with Joel.

“That girl…” Joel muttered, “She’d see a big rock and just…” he shot his free hand out, “Pew!”

Even at the mature age of thirteen, Y/n could remember Sarah and her running Texas’ nature trails and climbing the less dangerous rocks. Joel would follow behind, laughing and telling his girlfriend that if she broke his daughter, she was buying him a new one.

“She woulda liked you,” Joel told Ellie, it was one of the most honest things he’d ever said. “Not to say the two of you are the same. Definitely different kids.”

“How so?” Ellie softly asked from behind Joel and Y/n.

“Well, she was a lot more…” Joel trailed off, “I wanna say girly,” he quickly turned to Ellie, “And I’m not sayin’ that you’re not girly.”

“I’m not,” Ellie admitted, barely smiling up at Joel.

“Yeah, you’re not. So that,” Joel chuckled, tightening his hold on Y/n a little as he listed off Sarah’s attributes, “She was taller. She had a killer smile. Again, not sayin’ that you don’t.”

Y/n shook her head, withholding a laugh for the sake of her ribs. Three months prior, they’d all been threatening to kill each other. Now they were dancing around conversational landmines that weren’t even there, so afraid of hurting one another.

“But you know why I think she’d like you?” Joel addressed Ellie once more.

“Why?”

“‘Cause you’re funny,” Joel answered, “I think you would’ve made her laugh.”

Y/n nodded, “She also would have appreciated the well deserved crap you give her dad.”

Joel snorted at Y/n’s comment, knowing there was truth to it. Sarah had always enjoyed having someone to gang up on him with, but no fiercer duo had ever existed than the likes of his daughter and his girlfriend.

“Anyway,” Joel felt his emotions beginning to tighten around his throat, “I bet you would’ve liked her back.”

“Yeah,” Ellie said, still sounding distant, “Bet I would’ve.”

The weight of Sarah’s death had suffocated Joel and Y/n separately for two decades. It had been a blade, sticking out their chest, that they’d somehow learned to live with. But there was something, between their time with Ellie and their coming back together, that had caused the pain to…change. It would never hurt any less than it did now, but Sarah’s memory now seemed like one they could look back on with more than grief. There could be smiles and laughter as they thought back on their beautiful, brilliant girl.

Y/n rested her head on Joel’s shoulder as they walked, he pressed his cheek to her hair. They both felt it.

A little ways more and they’d reached the top of the hill. In the distance, the town of Jackson stretched within its walls. It was far bigger than any of them had realized.

“There ya go,” Joel said as they paused to take it in, “Not much further now.”

He helped Y/n on the decline with her keeping her weary eyes on what they’d now call home. She nearly cried when she realized that they’d never have to leave it again. The three of them could settle into life as close to what it should have been.

“Hey, wait,” Ellie called, bringing Joel and Y/n to a halt. She began to form words before abandoning them, “Fuck…”

Joel’s muscles tightened, worried that she’d taken the time to pick apart his lie.

“Back in Kansas City, you asked me about the first time I killed someone,” Ellie spoke to Joel.

He fidgeted a little as he held Y/n, relieved that it wasn’t about the hospital.

“When I got bit,” Ellie continued, “I-I wasn’t on my own. My best friend was there and she got bit too. We didn’t know what to do, and she says, ‘We can just wait it out…be all poetic and just lose our minds together.’”

Y/n bit her lip, her brief time of knowing Riley’s spirit flashed through her mind.

“And then she did,” Ellie went on with her story, “And I had to…her name was Riley, and she was the first to die. And then it was Tess. And then it was Sam-”

Joel shook his head, “That’s not on you.”

“No,” Y/n reenforced, “Not at all.”

“I know,” Ellie sighed, “But-“

“Look sometimes things don’t work out the way we hope,” Joel said, “You can feel like…like you’ve come to an end…and you don’t know what to do next,” he sighed, thinking back on all the choices in his life that had led him to this moment, “But if you just keep going…you find something new to fight for.”

Y/n looked downwards, feeling every one of Joel’s words ring true in her heart.

“And maybe that’s not what you want to hear-“ Joel tried to continue his speech.

“Swear to me,” Ellie interrupted.

Joel and Y/n paused, holding their breaths as their tale was challenged. Y/n’s exhaustion allowed her to lower her head as she fought to take a deeper breath.

“Swear to me that everything you said about the Fireflies is true,” Ellie continued, her eyes demanding yet still soft.

Lying was an essential part of survival. It was a skill to be honed and a craft that required complete dedication. Joel had lied his way through life, into black market deals and smuggling opportunities. Y/n had lied to aid the Fireflies and to save her own life. They’d been comfortable saying whatever they needed to to stay alive.

That feeling died on the Wyoming hilltop.

“I swear,” Joel replied.

Y/n inhaled as deep as she could, feeling the fullness of what she was about to say wash over her and possess her body.

“I swear.”

Ellie watched them, her mind working to process what they were saying, leaving her nearly unreadable. They waited with bated breath as she decided whether to accept their answers or not.

“Okay.”

Without another word, Ellie picked up her pace, moving past Joel and Y/n to head down the hill. Joel began their descend, but Y/n pulled her arm away from him and stayed frozen.

“Give me a minute,” she said, her eyes on the mountains.

Joel inhaled to argue the point that she couldn’t make it more than ten steps on her own, but the distance in her eyes advised him against it. He let her hand go and began to follow Ellie, turning back once to make sure she was okay.

Y/n let her eyes drift down to Jackson, tracing the outlines of the town and trying to find the house that would become theirs. The possibilities were overwhelming as to what they could do when they got there. If there was electricity, she could cook proper meals for Joel and Ellie. They could have game nights. Tommy could come over at random moments in the day. Ellie could attend a real school. Joel could get back to his roots and fix up the house. They could retire to their bedroom each night, calling out to Ellie to go to sleep before doing the same. It could be the domestic life she’d always wanted, simplistic in every sense.

Except it wouldn’t be real.

Y/n had seen the distrust in Ellie’s face, she knew that at some point, the girl would figure it out. And if she didn’t, she’d always be questioning if her and Joel were telling the God’s honest truth. What their relationship had been would never again be. By saving Ellie’s life, they had forever changed the dysfunctional little found family they’d created.

Y/n blinked once, took a deep breath, and headed down the hill, taking her first step into a life of lies.

——————

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#joel miller x reader #joel miller x female reader #joel miller x f!reader #joel miller fanfiction #joel miller fanfic #joel miller fic #joel miller imagine #the last of us imagine #the last of us fanfiction #the last of us fanfic #the last of us fic #twenty years later

[wildemaven]

Sweet Creature: Chapter Six

Pairing: Dieter Bravo x F!Reader

WC: 4511

Warnings: 18+ Blog; mentions of food and drinks, unwanted touching, self doubt, pining, two dumb dumbs navigating fEeLiNgS, reader has a nickname but has zero descriptive features, fluff, like always please let me know if there’s anything I missed.

A/N: This chapter!! I think it’s just been a week for me, dealing with minimal sleep and a teething babe— I was near giving up on it. But, it’s done! Wrote out a good portion of it and then hated it so I rewrote it and then ending up going in a completely different direction— but I like where it ended up going. Thanks again for all the love and kind words on this series!! Only 4 more chapters to go!! Adding: Thank you to @gnpwdrnwhiskey for beta’ing this labor of love and all her support and help as I write this!

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An endless loop of vivid thoughts frequent your weary mind— starting early in the morning and well into the evening. 

Dieter, his stupid handsome face and the way he has you falling for him, your brain in a constant flustered state. 

You keep mulling over the possibilities of allowing yourself to be vulnerable, open to the idea of something growing between you and Dieter. 

Each alternative has its advantages and risks. 

Leaning into your feelings and granting Dieter access to the thing you’ve spent years guarding, trusting that he will stand alongside you as you fully open your heart to a chance at a future together. 

But what if he doesn’t want the same things as you?? You contemplate if settling for just his friendship is enough, never pursuing the growing connection between you, accepting him in your life but always at an arm's length. 

Dieter’s impending departure has you a mess, your growing feelings for him only making it worse. 

“Are you still there sweetheart?” 

“Yeah— Sorry Mom, I’m still here.” You assured her, finishing up the rest of your makeup as you get yourself ready for the Capri Hotel’s big event. 

“You sound so far away. What’s bothering you?” 

“Ugh. I don’t even know where to begin Mom. None of it’s really all that bad, just a lot at once I guess.”

“Well, I’m here to listen if you need to get it off your chest.” 

Moments like these, you wished she lived closer, missing your kitchen conversations at the end of a long day. No matter how depleted she was after work, she made dinner with a smile and sat for as long as you needed her to, her shoulders always carrying the weight of your heart when needed. 

“Just trying to keep it together most days. School has been busy, end of year things have me drained. Then there’s the whole gallery thing, it has me stressed I won’t be ready for the showing. I’ve finally managed to get a chunk of my pieces painted and prepped— I have like 5 more to do. And I’m sad it’s closing, I only have a few classes left there.” You pause for a moment, you hadn’t intended on an emotional dump when you called your Mom, just wanted to check in and say hello. “It’s all good things though, so I don’t even know why it feels overwhelming, I guess I feel like I’m going to let someone down somewhere along the way.”

“Hmm. Well, I know how hard you are on yourself, but I also know how hard you work— especially when it involves all the things you love. You’re going to get through it all! I believe in you.”

Her voice feels like a warm embrace as it drifts through your phone, the stress already feeling like it has lifted a bit with her reassurance. 

“So, how are things with your guy? Any new things on that front?”

“Well, he’s not my guy.” Chuckling at her abruptness. “I feel like we’re in a good place now— he feels like a close friend that I’ve known my whole life. And the more time we spend together, the more I—“

“The more you what?”

“I don’t even know, Mom. Like there’s these things he does, I don’t know if he’s just being nice or what, but he does these little things that make me so happy. He brings me coffee in the mornings when he drops his niece off at school, leaves little notes for me on the cups— I save them Mom, I have a stack of these coffee cups in my kitchen.”

You hear a muffled hum, her signal that she’s already preparing her response to what you have to share, but allowing you to continue. 

“He came to one of my classes, and you know what he did? He painted a portrait of me— who does that?! And now, we text each other all the time and I can’t stop smiling when his name pops up on my phone, because I can’t stop thinking of him. Then he gave me this cute nickname that makes my insides turn to goo any time he says it and I— I…”

“You love him, don’t you?”

“Yeah— I do.”

*

The air is dry, heat waves dancing across the scorching cement, an array of popular songs blaring from the DJ booth situated on the green lawn adjacent to the hotel’s pool deck. 

The re-grand opening celebration of The Capri in full effect. 

The hotel had been drawing in plenty of guests after the renovation, rooms booked out regularly, a quintessential tourist destination for the small town. Its mid-century design of wood, natural tones and pops of color paired with the sleek modern aesthetic throughout the hotel’s property was beginning to be recognized by many publications, all looking to showcase the hotel’s unique style in upcoming pieces. 

The hotel’s name, big white block letter signage, sits atop the covered entryway. A parked yellow Chevy Deluxe adds to the ambiance of the building’s timeless look. 

Giant palm trees and tropical-esque plants in terracotta pots decorate the grounds of the hotel. Small gardens with intimate seating had been strategically placed for optimal usage. A large lawn space in the back was draped in string lighting and had the perfect view of daily sunsets. The pool itself was a perfect backdrop for a day of relaxing, vintage woven lawn chairs and oversized umbrellas lined each side of the large pool surrounded by lush greenery. 

Dieter was able to snag a chair early on, perks of knowing the hotel owner, the umbrella shade blocking enough of the sun to make the extremely warm weather bearable. 

He’s trying his best to enjoy himself, knowing he’s doing Diem a favor keeping an eye on Wren while she’s running around doing her hotel-party hostess duties, but the growing crowd of guests and invitees feel more overwhelming, reminding him of the elaborate Hollywood parties he’s attended. 

Only a few people have stopped to ask for autographs or pictures, slightly surprised there’s still a fan base that has an interest in him these days. 

“How come they don’t want me to sign their papers? I know how to write my name too!” Wren, her voice tinged with a pouty tone, says from where she’s lounging on her chair next to him. 

“I don’t know, Birdie. Next time, you can sign your name too, seems only fair.”

“Okay. I can draw a heart for them too.”

Wren, satisfied with the compromise, goes back to sipping on her iced lemonade and watching one of her shows on her iPad, zero interest in what's going on around her. 

“How’s she doing?” Diem asks as she sits on the edge of the Wren’s chair, placing another lemonade on the small accent table between the two of them. 

“She’s good, wanted to take a break from swimming for a bit. You, umm— hear from Poppy yet?” 

“Why? You finally going to tell her you’ve got it bad for her??” 

Grateful his sunglasses are dark enough to block the eye roll intended for Diem, he glances over to see Wren still absorbed into her show then back to Diem and whispering a low -fuck off- accompanied with a playful middle finger. 

“She texted me a bit ago, said she was running late, but would be here soon— Oh! Speak of the devil, look who just arrived. I’m going to go say hi and I’ll send her over so you can tell her how much you’ve missed her.” Diem’s menacing voice earns her another middle finger from Dieter, leaving him to greet you properly. 

Dieter catches sight of you weaving through the pack of bodies meandering around the pool, taking in how your face lights up the minute you see Diem welcoming you with a hug, both of you embracing each other as if you hadn'tnd just hung out days prior. 

He’s seen you in your casual clothes outside of school before. Usually a pair of favorite jeans and t-shirt, a sundress sprinkled in on warmer days, but something about seeing you in a bathing suit and shorts has his brain short-circuiting almost instantly. 

Tilting his head forward, his pointer finger pulling his sunglasses slowly down the bridge of his nose. He’s completely taken aback, mesmerized by you, noting every little detail—  your captivating features that make him absolutely weak, every delicate curve so perfectly placed, each flaw you try so hard to hide merely a perfect addition to your allurement. 

The second you and Diem turn in his direction, he’s shaken out of his trance, trying to focus on anything to make his blatant staring seem less obvious. 

“I see an open chair next to Dieter, do you think he’ll mind if I hang out with them?” You point to the open space next Dieter, who is helping Wren navigate something on her iPad. 

Unfortunately, as you say it, you notice a beautiful woman sitting in the lounger you were inquiring about. You try your best to keep the tinge of jealousy concealed, the last thing you want is to draw any sort of attention to your feelings for Dieter at this time. 

“Never mind, I’m sure I’ll find somewhere to set my stuff.” There’s a subtle hint of sadness in your eyes, avoiding watching the women openly flirt with him. 

“Babe, you good?” Diem sensing the shift in your demeanor instantly. Peering back at Dieter to see the interaction he’s having with the woman, who now has her hand on his arm, caressing it as she tilts her head and openly ogles him— her fake laugh is a dead give away that she only sees Dieter for his Star Status and nothing more. 

“Yeah— y-yeah, I’m good.” Forcing a somewhat convincing smile. 

“Hey, I’ve got to go check on catering, make sure everything is running on time and then I’m going to grab Wren for her nap— the last thing I need is a 6 year old meltdown. Don’t worry about her, she doesn’t really seem like his type anyways. We’ll catch up in a bit.” Giving you another hug, letting it linger for a minute, then Diem takes off in the direction of the catering truck. 

You’re left standing there, feeling exposed and alone among a sea of strangers. Nervously scanning anywhere but in the direction of where Dieter and the woman are clearly flirting. You contemplate what an appropriate amount of time to spend here would be, before slipping out unnoticed. 

It reminds of you showing up to a middle school dance, dressed in the new fancy dress you picked out for the special occasion in hopes of seeing the cute boy, who’s name you spent most of the school year scribbling in your notebooks. Only to walk into the dimly lit and poorly decorated gymnasium to see he is with the head cheerleader and they’re both making heart eyes at each in the middle of the dance floor. 

Part of you wants to shrink into the shadows of the crowd, ruminate over the signals you read completely wrong this whole time. Dieter was just being nice, friendly— at no fault of his. You blame yourself for thinking he might have some interest in you, reading into the little details and thinking that you were even his type— clearly far from it. 

An up tempo song blasts through the speakers, amping the tone of the party up and pulling you out of your brief moment of sulking. 

Friends. Just friends. Dieter and you are friends and that has to be enough for you. 

You head in the direction of the open bar, hoping an ice cold beverage will help unburden your angsty thoughts. 

“We should hang out sometime!” Dieter cringes at the advances this random woman keeps making towards him. 

If this wasn’t his sisters hotel, he’d probably wouldn’t feel bad in being harsh and telling this woman to fuck right off. But he doesn’t want to cause a scene, not knowing how she would react to his rejection. 

“Umm, I don’t know— I’ve got a lot going on right now.” Let her down easy. 

“Oh come on! You’re not doing anything, you just got out of rehab— and they’ve got you trapped in this boring town too. I’m sure we could find something fun to do together. I know a few parties are happening in WeHo coming up, I can make a few calls— get some treats to liven things up.” Her hand still fondling his arm. 

He winces at her crass comment, a reminder of why he chose to escape the acrimonious world of Hollywood. 

He doesn’t have a single regret about being here in Ojai either, he enjoys its simplicity and is starting to feel like he could see himself here long term. 

“Look, I’m sure you're nice and all— but I’m not interested.” 

“Okay, well we can do something else then. How about we go back to my room, I’m staying here.” Wiggling her hotel key between her fingers. 

She’s clearly not grasping at the obvious hint Dieter is giving her. 

“No, I’m not interested in your room or you.” He says politely, grabbing her hand and removing it from his arm. 

“What do you mean?!”

“He has a girlfriend, lady!” Wren piped up in Dieter’s defense. 

“Wait! You have a kid? And a girlfriend?”

“No— to both things.” 

“God, rehab made you so fucking boring.” She scoffed, offended by his sobriety and his lack of interest in her. 

“Okay, so what we’re not going to do is that, my niece is right here. You can go now.” 

She didn’t hesitate at his request, grabbing her things and walking away— pretending to be unbothered by the rejection. 

“Sorry about that Birdie. Some people are just—“

“Weird!”

“Yeah, weird. Hey, Birdie?”

“Yeah.”

“I know you think Poppy is— she’s not my girlfriend, we’re just friends. So, let’s maybe not call her that anymore okay?” Although, he likes the way the two words mix together in the same sentence. 

He worries it’s going to slip in your presence, he knows wren means no harm by it, but he would hate for you to feel uncomfortable if you ever were to hear her say it. 

“Mhmm.” Her non-committal response earns her a laugh, fully focused on her show like nothing ever happened. 

Dieter takes in the lively atmosphere around him. Laughter emanating from the party guests gathered in small groups around the pool, a carefree crowd dancing throughout the lawn area, smiles plastered on everyone’s faces— he couldn’t be more proud of Diem and all she has accomplished. 

Readjusting the collar of his colorful half buttoned shirt, Dieter settles back into the chair, letting the sun kiss every bit of his exposed skin. 

“How are things going over here?” Diem quietly asked, pulling Dieter from his ruminative thoughts. 

Diem scoots Wren’s listless legs over to allow room for her to sit down, leaning over she grabs the device from her tiny sleepy hands, Wren’s little head nodding as she struggles to keep her drowsy eyes open. 

“No complaints, looks like you had a good turnout. I’m really proud of you Diem, not just all of this,” His hand pointing around to her accomplishments on display in the form of a successfully running hotel and her well executed re-grand opening festivities. “But with Wren too. I’m glad that I got this chance to be with you both.”

“Don’t go getting all sappy on me—“ Her voice wobbly and soft as she beams at his acknowledgment of her dedication to her work and Wren. “Thank you. And I wouldn’t have been able to pull this off without your help.”

Dieter nods, mirroring her heartfelt gratitude. 

“Have you seen Poppy? I saw you both talking earlier.” He hopes he doesn’t sound too desperate, wanting to know your whereabouts, if you’re okay and why you’re not here— with him. 

“She didn’t make it over?” His brows draw together, shaking his head slightly. Her nose wrinkled at the realization of why you hadn’t come over. 

“What?” 

“She saw you and your— little friend earlier, I don’t know for sure, but she seemed somewhat saddened by it. I’m surprised she didn’t come over though.” 

“Shit! I gotta go. You good with her.” He stands abruptly, an unnerving feeling creeping up from his chest, hoping you didn’t mistake what you saw for anything but an awkward fan interaction. 

“Yeah, go. I’m going to go put her down in my office.” Scooping up Wren’s sleeping frame. “Dieter?” 

He turns back to her calling his name, hands flexing at his side, a nervous tick of his, as he waits for what Diem has to add. 

“You should tell her.” 

He’s not sure why it’s so difficult to find someone in a somewhat enclosed area. His eyes scanning every ecstatic face as he sidesteps through conversations anchored in effervescent exuberance, a stark contrast from his growing collection of spiraling thoughts. 

If he could just find you, explain the situation to you in its entirety. 

Explain how he truly feels. 

How you'rer his first thought when he wakes in the morning, the giddy anticipation of seeing how beholden you are as he hands you the coffee he picks up from the bakery Wren and him stop at before school, how he takes in the way you tilt your head just enough to read the ridiculous notes he scribbles on the sides of each cup, “Have a Brewtiful Day!” “Better latte than never.”—each one extracting the most intoxicating laugh. 

How he looks forward to seeing your face light up at his stupid jokes, never once admitting how horrible you think they are. 

How you’re an added reason for him to want to be sober, never wanting to be on the receiving end of your disappointment in him. He wants that rewarding experience of seeing how proud you are of him. 

And how he wants nothing more than to have you in his arms— morning, noon and night, keeping you as close as he possibly can, terrified that you’ll disappear the moment he lets you go. 

His world seems to come to a standstill, everything he had been working up the courage to tell you, drained from his mind instantly. 

Utterly shattered by the sight of you. 

That smile of yours, paired with a full body laugh, directed at the man standing next to you. Your hand holding the top of his oversized bulging bicep as his large hand gently cups your elbow, leaning into each other as you both exchange words. 

A reality he hadn’t even considered in the time he spent looking for you— you being happy with someone who isn’t him. 

Crushed. 

Confused. 

Broken. 

It’s a dizzying sensation. A chance lost— or so he thinks. 

Rubbing his hands against his shorts, removing the evidence of his anxious response to seeing you wrapped up in what looked like an intimate conversation, his head still in a fogged state of shock. 

He manages to will his body to move from where he’s been standing. His jaw ticks anxiously, surrounded by bodies dancing around his blurry peripherals. Releasing a deep sigh, he looks back to you once more, looking for what he hopes is closure. 

Instead, he catches the moment the man you’d been friendly with, gesturing a goodbye as he retreats from the space he’d been sharing with you. 

Dieter watches the way your expression morphs from bright and bubbly to soft and muted the minute you're alone, leaning against the cocktail table with your face tucked into your shoulder, closing yourself off from everything and everyone. 

“Mind if I join you?” Dieter calmly approaches you, still holding on to the single thread of hope that he didn’t lose his chance. 

“Hey! Of course you can.” Your face instantly lights up at the sight of him, patting the open spot on the table, genuinely welcoming him to be with you. 

“I hope I’m not interrupting anything?” 

“What do you mean?” A line appears between your brows, shifting your body to fully face him with one arm still draped over the table top, your fingers casually drawing shapes onto the silky thin table cloth. 

“The guy, I saw you talking to him— looks like he works out, a lot— the man is very hot.” Words fumbling out of his mouth, as he points back in the direction he thinks he saw the muscular guy head in. “I just mean, I don’t want to interrupt if there’s something potentially happening there.”

Your lips pressed together in an attempt to fight off the urge to laugh. 

“What?”

“There was nothing happening there, like at all. That was Dan, he’s a good friend and he comes to classes at the gallery. I’d offer to introduce you two, since you think he’s so hot, but he just got back from his honeymoon— with his equally hot husband. We were just catching up.” 

Dieter winces at your explanation of who the man was, feeling like an idiot for so foolishly assuming you were falling for the guy. 

“Besides, he’s not really my type.” You state boldly with your head cocked to the side, one eye squinting to block the sun rays as you take stock of the way the sunlight tangles in his hair. 

“Where’s your friend from earlier? She was really pretty. You both really seem to be hitting it off earlier.” Keeping your tone neutral, looking down at where your fingers are now pulling at a loose thread on the tablecloth, preparing yourself for how his response is definitely going to wreck you. 

His hand settles next to yours, his fingers nervously tapping onto the hard surface. 

“Actually, I have no clue who she was— didn’t even ask for her name, didn’t want to know it either. Sure, she was pretty and maybe in different circumstances I might have been interested in her… She was pissed though when I turned her down, I actually had to tell her to leave.”

“Really— Why?” Your attention drawn back up to where he’s still studying you, his brown eyes locked with yours, now etched in a glistening golden light from the setting sun. 

He lifted his shoulders in a gentle shrug, taking a deep breath as he looked at you, “She just isn’t who I’m interested in.” 

When you think back to when you were growing up, constantly daydreaming about what it would feel like the moment you realized you were in love, and if it would feel as good to have that same feeling reciprocated back to you, by someone who wholeheartedly felt the same way. 

You decide that this is that moment, and it’s even better than you imagined it would be. 

Dieter’s eyes drift over to the table, his hand slowly inching closer to yours, the light brush of his fingers over the top of your hand is electric, your breath catching as he begins to intertwine his fingers with yours. 

His thumb, tender as it slowly smooths over the ridges of your hand, glancing back to you to make sure that there’s no sign of discomfort in your face— you squeeze your fingers, a silent ‘I’m more than okay with this’. 

A breeze picks up, his hair tousling around as it blows through where you both are standing. You lift your free hand to swipe the hanging curls out of his face, your fingers taking liberty to rake through his downy hair, each curl bouncing back into place. 

“What’s your type then?” It’s menacing the way his husky voice cuts through the steady silence, encouraging you to share with him. 

“Hmm…Tall, funny, sweet, driven, pretty— like really fucking pretty. Also has to answer to Uncle Dude in the presence of a sweet little 6 year old. Know of anyone who might fit that description?”

He nods along as you list off each quality, his eyes lighting up at mentioning good-looking. 

“That’s quite the list.” He quips, your breathy laugh prompting a lopsided grin from him. “So— pretty, huh?”

“Yeah— really fucking pretty.” Your words are drawn out in a sincere manner, noting the way his eyes crinkle a little at the compliment. 

Dieter’s hand nestles at the base of your neck, drawing your body closer to him. His touch potent and satisfying, as he commits to memory the way your skin feels beneath his fingertips, gliding them down your bare spine leaving goosebumps in their wake— his gaze never leaving yours. 

“You’re interested in someone?” The answer seems obvious, but you want to hear it from him. 

“Poppy, you gotta know it’s you—“ He utters earnestly with both of his hands now cupping your cheeks, watching the way your lips part as he leans in closer. “I lo— like you so fucking much Poppy, you’re the only one I’m interested in.”

The way he started to say that he loves you, it feels like you might float away, anchoring your hands on his wrists. Everything tingles in your stomach, he’s so close, his breath fanning over your lips. Your lashes flutter as he slowly angles your face, his nose brushing against yours. 

It’s a whirlwind of energy drifting between both of you, building intensity with each passing second, the finality of the moment bound to be explosive. 

Tiny hairs of his mustache grazing the underside of your nose. The top of his lip begins to settle over yours, it’s pillowy weight slowly meeting your—

*RING RING RING*

“Fuck!” The word vibrates across your upper lip at the vexing sound of Dieter’s phone ringing, offensively interrupting the flow of your almost kiss and urging him to answer it. 

“I swear, if that’s Diem—“ A picture of Diem and Wren lights up the phone screen, his thumb swiping across to accept the call, he stands to his full height as he presses the device to his ear. “Hey, what’s up?… Okay… Yeah…Yeah, I’ll be there in a minute then… Love you too, bye.” Dieter ends the call and shoves his phone back into his pocket. 

The entire phone conversation, his focus remains on you. His free hand never leaves the side of your face, thumb stoking across the warmed apple of your cheek—Your hand still holding on to him, the cadence of his heart-rate is rapid against your palm. 

“Diem?” 

“Yeah, she said Wren wanted to go home. She has to stay for another hour or two, make sure things close out here before she can head home.” He explains, zero annoyance detected in his face. “You okay?”

“Y-yeah, I’m perfect.” You say  softly, an airy smile spreading across your face. “What do we do now?”

Dieter takes in your question, so many answers floating around in his mind, but none of them feel sufficient enough at this moment, wanting to properly share everything he’s been feeling without being rushed or interrupted. 

He leans back into your space, his lips pressing a chaste kiss between your brows before resting his forehead against yours. 

“We’ll figure it out as we go.”

Next

#sweet creature series #dieter bravo x fem!reader #dieter bravo x you #dieter bravo x f!reader #dieter bravo x reader #dieter bravo x female reader #dieter bravo #pedro pascal #dieter x poppy #wildemaven writes

[neochan]

NCT GROUP CONCEPT - THE SLEEP CYCLE

warning: I am not making this up, this is actual facts, some is speculation, but this is a very real concept within the group and not a work of fiction.

(finished writing this back in 2020 and now it's relevant again so i'm adding to it and reposting it)

Concept Overview

The NCT members are going through sleep cycles, which are portrayed in music videos and extracurriculars. Every time they complete a ‘dream cycle’ they add more members into the group and when they complete a sleep cycle they make a new subunit. Now SM is straying away from this concept, but for the first two and half years its very evident this is happening.

Alternatively  - NCT only exists within our [fans] dreams, and each music video is a different dream. This explains the different themes in music videos, some not making sense. 

Debut

It starts with, “The synchronization of your dreams.” [SOYD] In this, the members have already fallen asleep, and the ‘synchronization’ is the members coming together to form NCT U. Lets not forget the concept of NCT U is for any members, from any sub units to come together and entertain you [consumers/fans] in your dreams. This also can work with the synchronization of each sub unit to form one whole dream, or NCT as a whole.

After this, NCT U is debuted with the hit song seventh sense. The seventh sense? Lucid dreaming - the ability to control your dreams. There’s more to this song than people realize. 

In the SOYD we have haechan vocals, but he isn’t in the final debut song seventh sense. People think this is in fact a hate crime SM committed, but it is only because he has fallen back to his own dream scape AKA NCT DREAM. 

After the SOYD and Seventh sense, NCT DREAM debuts. This is the first dreamscape, and the main one. The next section explains more on their sub units

NCT DREAM

They have a whole concept within their dreamscape which is why they get a whole section. NCT DREAM implemented a graduation system for the members, but no this isn’t to torture fans lmao. 

They debuted with the song Chewing Gum, which is very juvenile. Throughout NCT DREAMS discography you can watch their hits turn from juvenile bubble gum kpop to mature themes, most significantly turning after their song GO. 

The idea for this group was, the older the fans get the more they change. When you’re a kid you’re going to be dreaming about bubblegum, but when you’re older you’re going to be dreaming about driving with your friends etc (WE GO UP). 

Their whole concept stems from the brain patterns and dream growth in growing kids. This is why they implemented the graduation concept. The older you get the less you are to dream about kiddy stuff, and that’s their whole sub unit concept. 

NCT 127 

After NCT DREAM debuted, NCT 127 made their appearance with hit song FireTruck. Now the song means absolutely nothing to me, it’s just a bop, but the video means everything for the sleep cycle context.

In the video we are met with a young girl, and one of the first things the members do is destroy her sand castle. This symbolizes how they are one step up from dreams concept aka repping the dream patterns and growth of teenagers to young adults.  The destroying of her sandcastle has obvious connection to how when you grow up, all the kid stuff is no long relevant and your dreams (in life as well) change. 

Throughout the video we see the female protagonist grow up through her teen years and even into her working years. The concept is so plainly obvious but yet so hidden because why are they rapping about firetrucks (maybe because growing up puts out the fire, aka passion, that we have for our dreams?)

NCT DREAM LAB -> EMPATHY 2018

There are a series of videos titled NCTmentary, which fully back up my theories and show this concept in depth. This also predicts the new members that would be joining us a couple months after the first video was uploaded. 

They basically spell out that NCT is in the deepest sleep (REM CYCLE) at the moment and that anything can be possible, aka them debuting new members, or to us, the fans, creating new members in our dreamscape. 

The third episode title is Empathy, hinting at the new album that would dropping and again, hinting at new members. They debut three new members, but don’t make a big deal about them being debuted because NCT is in deep sleep right now. 

The entire series perfectly describes the entire concept and I could write an entire 60 page thesis on it and its meanings but i’m going to spare you. 

WAKEY WAKEY

So this song is them waking up, yep. The time between Empathy 2018 and this EP is nct going through their dream cycle, and then this is them and us finally waking up. A couple months before this, WAYV debuted, and I’m still not sure what their role in this concept is. Remember in the beginning where i told you that SM is straying from this concept, well WAYVs debut is the first big plot hole.  

There isnt much more to say, because this is kind of where SM dropped the sleep cycle concept, but!!!!!!!!! they ended up dropping the concept when they appointed a new company president so I think thats the reason. 

THIS IS WHERE I STOPPED WRITING LAST TIME. TIME TO CONTINUE THIS SHIT

WAYV

okay so wayvs concept is pretty much right there for everyone to see. it's some kind of sci-fi, space themed dreams, and i think it's awesome. that's all there is to say on their topic lol.

GOLDEN AGE

so between loveholic and golden age, we get a bunch of random music videos and albums for each subunit. again, this is because they're each in their own dreams right now...they're not really coming together. until we get to golden age. now we have everyone together, forming a multi-dimension dreamscape basically. everyone is meshed together again.

AND WHAT HAPPENED AFTER THIS? THEY DEBUTED A NEW SUBUNIT. NCT WISH.

now i don't know anything about this new subunit, BUT my theory is that because nct dream has now matured in their concept, they need to bring back the original concept of bubblegum kiddie dreams. this also fills in the plothole of them cancelling the nct dream graduation thing. now they'll have another kiddie friendly group or kiddie friendly dream scape.

AND WHAT NOW?

now they're back to being awake again. this is detailed in nct dreams new concept ()SCAPE films. they're being awoken. finally.

EXTRA - CHART

falling asleep

↓

beginning of rem sleep / individual unit albums

↓

deep sleep / album with all members / debut new ones (or take away some)

↓

end of dream cycle /making their way out of main rem sleep and having smaller individual dreams aka music videos

↓

waking up - this usually follows a japanese album (wakey wakey & gimme gimme)

↓

fully awake now and then they debut a new sub unit

EXTRA - how nct fits the chart

SLEEP CYCLE #1

synchronization of your dreams (falling asleep)

↓

a few individual unit albums (nct#127, limitless, the first, cherry bomb & we young.)

↓

they debut lucas, kun, and jungwoo and we get the first multi dreamscape album (empathy)

↓

more albums (chain, we go up, regular-irregular, regulate)

↓

awaken album (japanese) (it's important to note that the last song on the album is end to start, which means they're now going back to the start which is falling asleep again.

↓

debut of wayv

SLEEP CYCLE #2

falling asleep again (take off)

↓

a few individual unit albums (we are superhuman, we boom, take over the moon, neozone, reload, neozone: the final round)

on the same note, then we get wayvs, awaken the world (they're trying to get everyone to wake up)

↓

they debut sungchan and shotaro and we get the second multi dreamscape album (resonance)

↓

this time we get the japanese album first (loveholic)

↓

more albums (kick back, hot sauce, hello future, sticker, favorite)

↓

then we get a second multi dreamscape album, universe.

↓

then they undebut sungchan and shotaro

↓

then we go back to the albums, which coincidentally starts with glitch mode. i think this was intentional. because the order of the sleep cycle got messed up this time around, i think nct dreams glitch modes indicates there was a glitch in the dream world.

this is followed by (beatbox, two baddies, candy, phantom, ay-yo, perfume & istj)

↓

then we get another multi dreamscape album (golden age)

↓

then more albums (fact check, on my youth)

↓

debut NCT WISH (a moreso japanese unit so we don't need any more japanese albums from the other groups for the sleep cycle to continue)

SLEEP CYCLE #3 (FINALLY BACK ON TRACK FOR ANOTHER ROUND)

starts with nct dream waking up (they're new album coming out in which they're literally waking up from their dream in the video teasers.)

and thats the end......for now.

#nct theories

[kaiso-woo]

Cookie Dough

✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺

✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺

-> Masterlist

BONUS #4 - Connections to ‘Stay Series’! This occurs on Christmas Day - right after the Skz Family has finally left your house in PART 14 - Merry Chris-mas (Felix Never Bad)

WC: 1.1k

Synopsis: So does anyone remember this from PART 14?

“You think we aren’t married?” You ask, sliding the bowl away from Chris for the umpteenth time, “Christopher get your paws out of Felix’s baking.” “He doesn’t mind.” “I mind,” you finish, turning away for a second to turn the oven on, only to have to lunge back for the bowl because Chris has nicked it again.

“Okay, here’s the deal baby, you either let me eat some of this or I eat you out later,” Chris wolfishly demands…

Notes: SMUT, PussyDrunk!Chan, Overstimulation, Oral (F Receiving), Traffic Light System (Used), Fluff?, Second Person Narration, Skz Fluent in English, Swearing, Idol!Chan, Fem!Reader

Here for a reading marathon? Head right back to the start!

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BONUS #4

!!Casual reminder this is entirely fictitious - Chris/Christopher in my work does not represent the actual Bang Chan - this is purely my imagination and nothing more - this goes for all other SKZ-Members too!!

--

You were on your phone. You were on your phone, lying on your bed on your god damn stomach, completely at ease with the world.

"Yeobo~" You had just showered, literally just showered, changed into pyjamas and were ready for bed. "Can I have my dessert please, honey?" You frown and roll over just enough so you can stare at Chris, standing at the bottom of the bed, his arms crossed over his chest. "There's ice cream in the fridge... and Felix's cookies that we made today... why're you asking me for dessert?"

Chris tilts his head slightly, his eyes scanning you from head to toe mischievously, "Not what I meant..." he whispers.

--

How hungry for dessert was he, exactly? Because Jesus Chri-

“Please…” he whines, grabbing your hips and dragging you back down to him, “Please baby. I need more.”

You groan and try to wriggle out of his grip, thrashing against his strength.

“Baby- baby c’mon. Please. I need more. You taste so fucking- god- so fucking good,” he breathes, the warmth against your heat making you shudder. Before you can argue with him, he hoists your legs over his shoulders again, tongue immediately lapping at the slick of your folds.

You release a drawn out whine and shovel your fist into your mouth, struggling to cope with the relentless pace of his tongue. In no time you’re quivering underneath him, his expert tongue swiping the places he knows will make you lose all sense of reality.

“Chris-” you moan, hand flying to lock into his curly hair and tug desperately, writhing, “Too sensitive- s’too much fuck Chris- Christopher-” He hums and sucks particularly hard at your clit, sending rockets of pleasure and pain shooting up your spine.

“Honey I know you can handle this. I know you can. You can do this for me, yeah? Please baby?” He begs, eyes drilling into your teary own, as two of his fingers sneakily slip into your aching hole. He groans at the sound of you whimpering, his other hand tightening on your thigh.

“Oh baby that’s it, moan for me. Let me hear you. I need more baby. I want more,” he continues, mouth falling open in loud pants as he pumps, his third finger sliding in with ease. You squirm and buck against him, trying desperately to muffle your moans instinctively, the precise opposite of what he’s asked.

He notices your attempts to silence yourself and growls, bringing his face down to suck in annoyance at your clit, “I said moan for me sweetheart," he demands against your heat and a pathetic groan escapes you. “There we go. 'Atta girl~”

The combination of his fingers and his tongue is splitting every last remaining brain cell you possess into eighths, his praise and sounds of pure desire at your own pleasure making your heartbeat intensify, your legs shake intensely, incomprehensible words falling out of your mouth.

Eventually, he removes his face from your core so he can watch your expression again, his eyes wide with rapt attention, his mouth parted in awe. If even possible, his fingers speed up, and he licks the juices around his mouth attentively.

“I could listen to you moan like this all day darling. 24/7. Fuck you with my fingers all the time. Yeah? You like the sound of that, don’t you?”

This is not good. His dirty talk. This is not good for you.

“You’re so tight and it’s just my fingers baby. How many times have you cum already, hm?” You’re struggling to think, let alone answer him, and when you don’t, his eyes darken. In a slow, taunting gesture, he leans down to lick an excruciatingly teasing line up the folds of your pussy.

“How many?” “Three three threehee-” you slur out, repeating the words over and over, in a daze.

“And why’s that?” “Ughh- fuck- fuck Chris- fuck it’s cause you- you feel so good- s'good- so good-” your voice dies in your throat pathetically as he curls his fingers and pumps harder, leaning over slightly for a better angle.

“Hm? What was that?” He asks innocently, juxtaposed against his devilish grin. “Your fucckahh fingers. Chris- I can’t- wait, please- sensitive-”

He ignores your last comments and places a gentle kiss to the inside of your thigh, “I’ll spell it out for you love, since you can't seem to function like a normal human being."

If he wasn't currently digging you into your own grave, you might have found the willpower to glare at him for his snarky attitude. Unfortunately he seems to love exploring what he's long since discovered, and you could do nothing but squirm.

"You’ve cum twice because of my fingers. And you’ve cum on my tongue because you taste so fucking delicious. I can’t get enough of you, isn’t that right? This meal? It’s mine. All for me. Whenever I'm fucking hungry.”

Your breath intensifying and your walls clenching around his fingers in a spasm lets Chris know you’re about to snap - so what does he do? Pulls his fingers out, briefly edging you. (A/N: I wanna throttle this man - non-sexually - for real sometimes, and I wrote him :|

You whine in desperation and open your mouth to complain when his fingers are replaced with his tongue flicking rapidly at your hole, diving in as deep as he could reach, hitting that soft spot straight away.

“Fuck Chris! Chris- oh shit-” you scream, that white-hot pressure picking up right where it was left off, washing over you with such force that you swear you dip into darkness for a second. When it dies down and the world slams into you heavily, you realise Chris is still lapping at your juices, eagerly sucking and licking, slurping away at the liquid between your legs.

He’s like a vampire. For your cum. His groans are sinful, pleased at having made you cum for the 4th time using only his mouth and fingers. But the overstimulation is too much. You can already feel that pressure building in your lower abdomen, and you’re worried that you’re seriously going to break something if you let him continue.

So amidst your whining and gasps, you manage to stutter out, “Red- red- Chris- red.”

You didn’t have to repeat the word at all. As soon as it fell from your lips the first time Chris stops his actions, breathing heavily. He wipes the excess from his chin and crawls to lay on top of you, placing a tender kiss to your lips - and you can taste yourself slightly.

He snuggles into your neck, trying to control his breathing and simultaneously stroking the side of your face, taking the time to brush any stray strands of hair away and tuck it behind your ear.

“Thank you love. You did so well for me. I'm so proud of you, thank you. Are you okay?” He mumbles, placing adoring kiss after adoring kiss on your neck, “Does it hurt too much? I’ll go get you a drink, yeah? Pineapple juice? Water?”

He makes to roll off you and leave, but you grab his shirt and pull him back, “It’s fine Chris. I’m okay… just… just stay with me please?” “I’m sorry,” he sighs, wrapping himself securely around you again, “I kind of lost myself there, you know what I'm like...” “You don’t say…” you laugh, stroking the curls at the back of his head affectionately.

“Not my fault you taste better than that cookie dough,” he grumbles, and you sigh in defeat. “You’re a man of your word, aren’t you?” “I gave you the option. Let me eat the cookie dough or-” “Okay okay- shush. Point taken.”

Point taken, indeed...

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-> Masterlist

And you've reached the complete end of 'Stay Series'! I hope it's been enjoyable :D

Until we meet again! - Kaisowoo

#bang chan x reader #bang chan smut #stray kids #bang chan fanfic #skz #bang chan #christopher chan bang #bang chan fic #stray kids fanfic #stray kids fic

[bibbykins]

Moonlight Reign Ch.1

A/N: Instead of forcing myself to focus on one series at a time, I'm planning to write what sparks joy to write in the moment and post it as I go! Hopefully this will clear some wips and help me feel less disorganized lmao! Not to say I'm not working on THB, I def am I just want to have something to post as I work on THB and the bigger projects like the LWAB fics among other things! So (hopefully) I'll keep these chapters limited to 5-7k, but we'll see lol pls enjoy and send me asks I thrive on them and so does my motivation!

And a huge thank you to my wonderful B @rapline-heaux for beta-reading ily!!

Series Masterlist

Pairing: Yandere! Mafia! BTS x Reader

Words: 5.7k

Warnings: crime, sensory flashbacks, trauma, unhealthy relationships, yandere behavior not rlly in this part but soon, pining, violence, past abuse, past neglect, academic neglect, stitches, drunk Jungkook, tackling, pinning someone down, mention of open relationship, poly is the norm is this au

“It’s time to go now.” 

1, 2, 3, 4

“Five years after the fall of the underground power family, Moon Corporation, people still suspect an even more powerful company has taken their place since…”

1, 2, 3, 4

“It’s… so red…”

1, 2, 3, 4

“The exposure beheld more answers than questions, but on the five-year anniversary of the suicidal explosion that killed the head, Moon Byungyeol and his daughter, the elusive green-haired girl who was 18 at the time, colleagues mourn in secret and establishments fear an anniversary heist or something worst than last year as the date rapidly approaches…”

1, 2, 3, 4

“Locals have several theories on the big conglomerate that now controls Seoul’s business, underground and above, with the mafia organizations and gangs running rampant, people fear the government is under their thumb as well…”

1, 2- SHUT UP

You inhaled deeply as if just surfacing from the drowning body of water residing in your brain. Your fingers stilled from the tapping, a  desperate attempt to make you surface, a sorry technique your brief stint in therapy drilled into you. Maybe having nothing led to illogical personal connections with a number. Of all your training as an heir, it was the mundane basic curriculum lessons that fascinated you the most. You were never good at math, but you loved to be perplexed by the numbers. It was a humbling experience, and in your fruitless calculations, four was always the easiest to wrap your head around. Of course, you didn’t know how humbled you’d be until you were a 20 year old trying to figure out how to do middle school math. Your education left much to be desired growing up, but you still enjoyed learning. 

You used to be convinced four was too perfect of a number for such an ugly world, and though you let go of the notion with your past life, it didn’t change that it was a world you had to feign blind to now. In your youth, four was a beautiful result of a simple equation, a funny origin to big numbers. It was a warm hug among the violent reactions when you’d get questions far below your intended grade level wrong. In a world where stuffed animals were banned from your childhood room, the number four was all you had. You didn’t particularly like how pathetic that made you feel, but it didn’t change how much it helped you on days like these.

Your palms retracted from their firm placement on the wall you leaned on, relaxing you. Releasing your slightly curled fingers, you stifled a bitter laugh at the desperate attempt to grasp onto something. It was always so degrading to scrub off the marks your acrylics made along the wall, but the stiletto nails made taps loud enough to bring you back. It was an absolute mystery how the school you worked at let you get away with these. 

Your little episode was finished as you settled your mind with the news continuing to drone on. You massaged your jaw, sore from the subconscious clench you were cursed with. You blew out a sigh as you felt your face and nodded when no tears were felt. Your phone buzzed, alerting you to the time and you groaned. Your damn neighbor would be here any minute now.

Jungkook wasn’t a mean guy by any means, quite the opposite. He was extremely insistent on your well-being, so much so it bordered on doting, and such behavior made you clam up. You didn’t know how to respond to his fussing over you. Hell, you didn’t know how to respond to most interactions outside of your old family business for a long while. That was just one of the many things he taught you, and he never once lost his cool doing so. He was patient with you, and you didn’t know how to thank him for it. 

You both had been in the same class when you attended university, and while you were fine with letting your temporary acquaintanceship go no further than asking for notes or the occasional study session, he was a force to be reckoned with. You just kept running into him and when you moved here and found he was your next-door neighbor, you knew there was no getting out of it. He was going to be your friend. Although, you never understood why he wanted to be so bad. 

Cut to a whole year after you both graduated, and it still didn’t make any sense. You both were polar opposites in a lot of ways. He was the regular party boy always at clubs and coming home at ungodly hours of the night. Meanwhile, you were usually in bed by 11:00 pm and only left your apartment for the job that barely covered your rent. Needless to say, you weren't exactly a social butterfly, so if you found one friend in Jungkook, you figured it wouldn't be such a crime.

However, having Jungkook as a friend meant having a weekly dinner with him as he mooched off of your TV and you mooched off of the food he paid for. It was an even enough exchange. Plus, it was nice to talk freely, or well, as free as you've ever been able to, even if just for a little bit.

You faced the mirror, patting down your hair, thankful for how much healthier it was without the cheap dye job you had done yourself when you were 14, “That green didn’t suit me at all,” You mused, fixing your hair, “Plus it nearly ruined my hair.” You murmured to no one in particular, keeping track of your speeding thoughts as you settled back into Earth. 

Jungkook knocked on the door and you nodded to yourself, “It’s open!” You called and sat down at the table as he walked in, take-away bags in his hands.

“You really shouldn’t leave your door open like that, you know.” He tsked like he always did. It just made sense to leave it unlocked when you knew he was coming, especially if you needed to run to the bathroom so you could finish crying before facing him. Of course, you haven't had to do that in a while, but better safe than sorry. Your issues, for lack of better term, were no secret to Jungkook, and you both knew it, but you liked to avoid having him see you at your most vulnerable when you could help it.

You simply shrugged as you helped him unpack the food, “We’re the only ones on the top floor.” You reminded him, “it would be quite silly of a criminal to come all the way up to the 20th floor.” You chided.

“Still.” He tried to argue but quickly gave up. Jungkook knew by now that you could take care of yourself, but sometimes you wished you’d let him do it for you more often. However, he let this potential argument go, this time. He looked around and narrowed his gaze at the TV, “Why do you still have the news on?” 

You paused and looked up from your food as it prattled on about your family, “I guess I forgot,” You forced your casual tone, “Did you get-”

“Syndicates, huh…?” He echoed the news reporter’s words, eyes fixated on the screen with a curious look, “The news is so weird with this stuff.”

The chopsticks in your hand stilled. You wanted to say that the syndicates were even weirder since they were the ones that probably signed off on the script. As a little girl, that was the first thing you had learned, how to play chess outside on a park bench, how to play chess crushing people in your hands as you moved them. It had all been the same to you for far too long. 

“Like I care, it’s just background noise.” A lie, you hated lying, but it was something you had to get used to doing for the sake of your safety.

“You aren't scared of these guys at all?” Jungkook looked at you like you were crazy, although his eyes didn't match the rest of his face's intensity.

Shaking off the weird notion, you rolled your eyes, “A world without you buying me dinner is pretty spooky but that,” You gestured to the TV, “Is a cheap haunted house in comparison to the hell of making dinner or worse, ordering it myself, on a Friday night.” You giggled.

Jungkook rolled his eyes with a scoff, “Is that all I am to you? A sugar daddy?” He asked in mock offense and you nearly spit out your drink.

You swallowed roughly before glaring at him as he laughed, “If you’re my sugar daddy, I need a new one.” You retorted and his laugh died while a childish pout settled on his face, “I mean, all I get is a measly dinner once a week and I still have to work and pay my bills?” 

“Well, what do I get, huh?” He crossed his arms, and it made you chuckle. Laughter had never come easy to you growing up, and it still had a hard time coming to you but after years by Jungkook’s side it was easier than ever to do, “Where’s my sugar?” He thrusted his cheek toward you, tapping on it with his index finger.

You rolled your eyes in spite of the flutter in the pit of your stomach and pushed his face away with your index finger, “My presence is your sugar, dummy.” You teased and how easy it was to be human around him made you smile wider, “Plus I let you watch your silly little shirtless men.” 

He clicked his tongue, “First of all, if you’re going to call them shirtless men, at least call them hot because look at him.” He pressed a button on your remote and his favorite fighter, Park Jimin filled the screen, “Second of all, it’s literally fewer syllables to just say MMA fights.”

You took a bite of your food and shrugged, “Don’t you have, like, a million boyfriends? Wouldn’t you make them jealous drooling all over Jimin?” You challenged, vaguely remembering Jungkook saying he had more than three boyfriends at some point. Not that it was surprising, most people had at least two significant others. Unless they were you, of course. You had no one to talk to but the man sitting in front of you, forget about a significant other. “He would make me pretty damn insecure.” You chuckled.

Jungkook scrunched his brows at you, “Six.” He corrected, mirth filling his eyes already.

You looked from the TV to him, “Hm?” You tilted your head to the side.

“I have six boyfriends, thank you very much.” He stated matter-of-factly, and you rolled your eyes at his tone, “Why? Are you trying to give me seven significant others?” He feigned a scandalous gasp, “Well, the relationship is open, you know, so I guess I could pencil you in–” You cut him off by shoving a piece of chicken in his mouth with a glare. The teasing made your chest seize for a split moment when faced with his teasing smirk, so this had been the best way to shut him up. 

Jungkook had always been a flirt, he often relished in teasing you to see how embarrassed you would get. Thankfully, over the years you had gotten used to it. You had already known his relationship was open since he mentioned how often they’re all apart, but you didn’t care to entertain that kind of intimacy with Jungkook even in your thoughts these days. It was just better that way.

“Ha, ha, we got a comedian.” You deadpanned and before you could say anything else, something on the screen caught your eyes, “What the fuck?” You mumbled.

“What?” Jungkook inquired as he looked at the TV, swallowing the food you fed him.

The camera had panned over the crowd and over an eerily familiar face poorly covered with sunglasses. The etching of a scar peeking out of the cheap frames told you all you needed, though. That was your uncle. 

What the hell was he doing showing his face? Let alone this close to the five-year anniversary of everything. The new syndicate in charge took great joy in celebrating the fall of your family, no doubt they’re itching for someone to make an example of someone. Worry tried to leak its way into your veins, but you fought it. Why should you care about him? If he wanted to sign his death certificate, that was on him.

Still, the sight of a man you were almost positive you’d never see again made you feel uneasy. You’d acclimated to regular life quite well, so one of the few remnants of your past life appearing like a ghost was ominous. In spite of your unease, you couldn’t look away. Almost as if you were waiting for him to poof away. You kinda wished he would. 

The camera changed and you finally blinked.

“N-Nothing.” You finally said, shaking your head, “I just thought I recognized someone, that’s all.” Your hands trembled for the briefest of moments as you lifted food to your mouth.

“Oh really, who?” Your only friend asked curiously and you shrugged as you chewed.

“Just some teacher that called in today.” You lied and it made your food taste sour for a moment. It was for the best you lied, you had to keep reminding yourself of that. 

“Hell, I’d call in too if it meant I could see the fight live.” You were thankful Jungkook dropped the topic and let your shoulders relax. You shouldn’t feel bad for lying, really. An unspoken rule between you both was that you never pried about private details. Jungkook led his life and you led yours. Hell, you don’t even know what he does for a living, but it wouldn’t surprise you if it was living off of his boyfriends’ income. Not to mention you didn’t even know if he lived with anyone else next door or if that was just a place of his own to use on occasions. Though, you couldn’t help being a little jealous at the idea of being so pampered. 

“Yeah, I could go for a silly little shirtless man fight on occasion.” You shrugged with a cheeky grin. 

“Silly?!” Jungkook guffawed, “I’ll have you know if he wins this fight, he’ll qualify for the championship, so this is pretty high stakes.” He toted his knowledge of the sport.

“Hasn’t he already been champion like a few times now?” You asked, barely following.

“Yeah, but, he’s been off his game this season for… personal reasons, so he’s never been this close to not qualifying.” He admitted, and your brows scrunched at the melancholy in his eyes. 

“Damn.” You mustered, “How do you know all this?” You asked, genuine curiosity lighting your eyes.

Suddenly, Jungkook’s cheeks reddened as he tore his eyes from you, “Interviews and stuff, you know.” He waved his hand dismissively and you rolled your eyes. 

“Nothing wrong with being a fanboy.” You chided, “I’m certainly in no place to judge.” You offered, reminding him of your fixation on TV dramas, making him snort before you both honed in on the TV.

These fights were quite fascinating and allowed you to at least tap into some of your training. It was how you knew that Jimin was going to win this fight from the first calculated punch, his form was immaculate and instead of going for the face, he drove his fist into his opponent’s ear. It was a dirty trick, but it was more than enough to give him an opening. 

“Holy shit, I think he might win this.” The fanboy across from you breathed. 

“No way he isn’t going to win.” You confirmed.

“Don’t get my hopes too far up.” He all but squeaked out, basically on the edge of his seat.

After a couple of rounds and idle chitchat, the fight ended with Jimin as the victor. You clapped lightly, but Jungkook was so elated he hugged you as he let out a celebratory roar. The first couple of times he did this shocked you so bad your hands almost went to snap his neck. Now that you were both years into the friendship though, the gesture just made you chuckle. Soon after, just like it did every match, Jungkook’s phone vibrated and he had to leave. He always left you with some kind of affection and this time it was a kiss on the cheek, a rare one, but not a huge step from the common forehead kisses he gave you.

“Don’t drink too much.” You warned and he flashed you a cheeky smile, “At least don’t get into trouble.”

“We’ll see.” He chuckled,  and you rolled your eyes.

“Well then don’t make it my problem!” You yelled and he waved a hand as he closed your door behind him. 

—

“Father?” You whimpered as a strong hand patted your head to calm you, or soften the blow of what was to come, you couldn’t quite tell, “Tell me you didn't.” Your voice was in shambles as you trembled beneath his palm.

The news mocked you as panic took a hold of your body, shaking it out of the shred of blissful ignorance you had clung onto. Ever since your father took you in, you had many responsibilities, but the comfort of not needing to keep up with the public facade kept you going. You hated the public, all the pleasantries, and honeyed words. None of it made sense, and now, now you felt foolish for not involving yourself more. For not ensuring that something like this could never happen and crumble the only world you’ve known. 

Still, even as despair monopolized your nerves, a tear wouldn’t fall. You weren’t sure if you knew how to shed them, but you knew it would only piss off your father. 

Moon Byungyeol was a rough man and calling him father teetered between feeling genuine and like a formality. He was a boss first, but sometimes he wore the mask of a dad. Sometimes, but it was enough times with enough gusto that you couldn’t tell which side of him best represented his true self– or if he even had a truthful bone within himself. 

He may have been rough, but he was all you had. He and the family he brought you into had been your first priority all your life, even when you had never really been his priority at all.

Not unless you could be used as currency. 

“Y/n, it's time for us to go,” His voice was somber, but even. You’d never seen him so outwardly upset, but even so, he didn’t so much as let his eyes water as his life’s work shattered before his eyes. He was left with a subdued longing as he looked at the TV, melancholic defeat infecting his usually strong posture, “I let this greed consume me, and I'm afraid it's begun eating not just me alive now.” He admitted and it made you feel ill. 

“...such evidence is linking the Moon Corporation to heinous organized crime activities painting them as a possible syndicate, but no arrests have been made nor has a formal criminal investigation on Moon Byungyeol himself been launched, but many workers under the company are being investigated due to possible involvement…”

Everything was dying. The realization that everything you did, all the lives you took, all the training you had suffered through, had never been for some prosperous empire you were promised. All of it had been to supply the lining of your father’s and uncle’s pockets. You should’ve been angry, shocked, or even appalled, but you weren't. You were numb to the fact that you were raised on lies. Fear resided in your veins about what that meant for you. 

“If I just cash out and retire, we could never live in peace,” He shook his head as he switched off the TV before he placed his hands on your shoulder, catching your attention, “But Uncle Byungjoo has a plan that I think might just work.” You swallowed hard at this. Anything Byungjoo could think seldom meant good things for you. On your best days with him, you were a mere afterthought, but on the worst days– most days– you were–”The only thing is that you and I will have to… separate…”

He was going to abandon it. No, he was going to abandon you. The only thing more pitiful than your fear had to be your shock. What reason did you truly have to be surprised that he was throwing you away just as easily as he picked you? He was going to cash out one last time, and leave like this whole operation meant nothing to him. All the while you had put an inkling of faith in his heart to love this empire, like a fool. At the very least, it was the closest thing to love that you knew. This entire place was all you knew. When was the last time you had gone out on your own as anything but his daughter?

“But…” Your mouth was woefully dry, “The empire, just like you said, it’s-”

“We were never an empire,” His self-loathing clung to each word and disgust curled in your stomach as you looked at his solemn face, “I treated this organization as a bank, a money maker, it was inevitable that the paper I cradled would catch fire.” The roundabout way he was speaking began to grate at your nerve. The pseudo-poeticism of his words did nothing to save his dignity, but you didn’t tell him that. 

You didn't scream, yell, or cry. 

At least you hadn't, yet.

“Then who will rule Seoul?” You wondered aloud.

“That’s not my problem anymore.” He said as if it were the easiest thing to come to terms with.

“Who will stay with me?” You asked meekly, immediately regretting it as you watched his previous words dance on his lips before he decided against it.

He smiled warmly at you and it brought a chill down your spine, “Some of us are meant to be alone.” He patted your shoulder and you wanted so badly to break into pieces from the impact. 

No one would stay with you. Not him, not anyone, and he didn't care.

That wasn't the answer you had hoped for. You hung your head in shame, shame that you expected anything other than a cold answer from a man on fire. The request for him to just kill you was on the time of your tongue before he turned around, ready to attend his last hurrah.

////

You woke up with a start from a bang outside, but considering the fact that it was 4 am, you chalked it up to city noise. Now awake, you stared at the ceiling and blew out an annoyed sigh. You were constantly plagued with flashbacks both in and out of your dreams, and you wished the rancid memories would choose one state of consciousness to haunt you in. Your therapist a couple of years back told you it's normal for people who have gone through what you have to constantly see what you were then in trying to dissect where you are now. Essentially, it was a constant cloud that hung over your head, and no matter how far you removed yourself from that life, its consequences would stay etched into your skin.

Another bang sounded outside your window and you grimaced. Anniversary week was beginning, and you felt more on edge than usual.

Five years ago exactly, you saw the match light. In four days, it will have officially been five years since you saw the flames engulf your home, your family, and everything you were. Each year, this week was chaos for the city of Seoul. Each day was accompanied by an event that slowly grew more and more above ground. It was almost mocking the past, the surfacing of dirty secrets. Secrets the world knew, but never wanted to see, cowards.

The new syndicate at the top of the kingdom was known as Bangtan to the underground scene, but with a “Group” tacked on after the ominous name, they were also the kings of the business world. They were much better at actually hiding their identities, hence why most average people assumed there was no such syndicate anymore or that the “law” took care of it. As if the “law” wasn’t under the thumb of the kings. 

Even so, your information could very well be outdated. The whispers from the underground, also known as the Underworld or even more to the point, Hell, reached your ears less and less as you removed yourself from the lives of anyone who knew who you were. No longer working at the diner your previous nanny ran shut you off from the underground so much so you seldom became aware of Anniversary Week’s events until two days before the main event. 

Another bang, but this time on your door, startled you out of your thoughts, “I can’t believe you went to the bar on a day like today- where are your keys?!” An unfamiliar voice spoke through your door.

“Ask, y/n,” Jungkook’s slurred voice rang out in a yell as you flinched at the volume, “Y/n! I need stitches!” 

This wasn't the first time Jungkook was yelling outside your door, demanding your assistance. This was just another facet of your friendship that you both silently agreed was fine. You never really asked questions, you just patched him up and left him on your couch. It really wasn't any of your business, nor did you have any desire for it to be. Jungkook was an MMA fan, and you knew he was big on that scene and the fitness scene, so it just made sense he would get into fights. You could only hope these fights were agreed upon prior to alcohol, but you weren't naive enough to actually assume that was the case.

“This isn’t even your door, baby, come on.” The voice grunted and your attention peaked. You had encountered a few men trying to help Jungkook home, but you seldom got such an obvious confirmation of their relationship with him, “What? Are you trying to booty call your neighbor?” The unknown man teased and you rolled your eyes. Were they all like this?

“I wish!” Jungkook shouted in response and you were fine with leaving your door closed this time until he spoke, “Ew, I’m dripping on the doormat.”

This made you huff as you hopped out of bed in your large t-shirt and shorts and ripped the door open. You were faced with a man with perfectly styled black hair in a three-piece suit accompanied by a trashed Jungkook with a short, but deep, cut on the corner of his forehead. The man that looked a few years older than you and Jungkook stopped struggling with your neighbor as he looked at you with the most pristine and exasperated face.Everything about this man was polished. Even as your neighbor lazily draped around the man, his suit had barely begun to wrinkle. 

Meanwhile, he looked you up and down with contempt before sighing, “Look, just forget we were-”

“Y/n!” Jungkook cheered before he passed out.

“No booty calls here, sorry.” You remarked flatly, “He usually keeps his keys in his wallet for some reason.” You nodded to his pocket before you looked at his forehead again, “But he does need stitches.” You opened your door a little more, gesturing for them to come in.

The man narrowed his eyes at you, “Do you usually play nurse for him?” You bit your tongue and swallowed his condescending tone with a sigh. You couldn’t tell if he was jealous at the thought of his boyfriend having some neighbor who treats his wounds in the dead of night or if he simply didn’t like you. Although looking at his face, there was no way this man was jealous of you. His gaze was sharp nonetheless, sharp and vaguely familiar, but his eyes held no recognition for you, so you let it go.

“Only when his blood is dripping on my doormat, for the third time this month,” You pointed to the sullied mat that you had just cleaned fully this week, “Bring him in, this isn’t that uncommon-” 

“But-” He tried to object, noticeably a little clammy at the unspoken knowledge of their relationship. 

“Any more blood on that mat and I'm making you pay for it, now come on,” You snapped as he walked in and sat Jungkook in a chair around your table. You shut the door as you pulled your first aid kit out, “You have to sit him on the floor or the couch.”

He complied to the couch, and though he didn’t say anything, you could see the question floating around his mind.

“When he wakes up, he attacks whoever is in front of him,” You spoke, preparing the needle and thread, and you had to ignore the curiosity peaking within you when you saw the other man shift uncomfortably at your comment,  “And I can't stitch and hold him down at the table,” You explained, settling your knees to lock on both sides of Jungkook’s legs and your elbows pressing on his shoulders.

“Aren't you scared he'll hurt you?” The man asked as you began stitching.

You scoffed, “I can play scared if that's what you want, but certainly not for free.” You chuckled, but he remained straight-faced. Tough crowd. You worked very hard to develop your banter skills these past five years, but he paid them no mind making your smile drop. 

Eventually, you just went on stitching in silence until the man broke the silence, “Who are you?” The man spoke mid-way through your stitching.

You paused for a moment, “Didn't you hear Jungkook? I’m y/n, and who are you?”

“None of your concern,” He clipped.

You snorted a chuckle, “You're bleeding on my hardwood floor, that has me pretty concerned.” You gestured to your hand to show him the small cut on his and he slowly grabbed a napkin to press against his hand with his mouth in a thin line, “Concerned for my floor I mean.” You clarified, “But a word of advice? If you don’t want to be suspicious of you, don’t act suspicious.” 

He sighed, “My name is Namjoon-”

You were tying the final knot when Jungkook snapped his eyes open, “Shit.” Was all you were able to get out. He immediately dove at you, pushing you to the floor, making the needle in your hand scratch your forearm before you threw it across the room to avoid the tempting notion of stabbing him with it. You sucked in a breath through your teeth at the burning sensation while you struggled to shake him out of it. 

It didn’t take a genius to deduce why Jungkook’s fight or flight was so concentrated, he’d obviously grown up with a reason to be. Nevertheless, it has never been your place to pry or judge, if anything, it’d be quite hypocritical. He'd seen you in a less-than-ideal mental state plenty of times, to put it lightly. Plus, you knew he didn’t mean any harm, and he was always pretty apologetic after the fact. Although, you were sure the struggle looked pretty concerning as you saw Namjoon scramble to his feet. 

Namjoon was trying to find an opening to cut in between the battle as Jungkook was sloppily throwing his fist down and you were moving your head to dodge each blow. Though his moves were sloppy, they were still fast and you could only dodge for so long. With no other option left, you sighed before slamming your forehead on his fresh stitches to make him stop to register the pain. You took advantage of the opening as you effortlessly pinned his arms down with your knees planted on his upper arms, “Jungkook!” You snapped as Namjoon watched his younger friend finally recognize you in his drunken haze.

“Y-Y/n?” He questioned, his tongue thick in his mouth, “You hurt my head- hey, you’re bleeding on my shirt!”

Your arm had a scratch about half the length of your forearm, it was shallow and oozing blood, but you didn’t flinch, “Wonder who made me hurt both my arm and their head, dumbass,” You muttered, examining his stitches to make sure the impact didn’t affect the new suture, “And you got your blood on my doormat and my forehead, so let’s call it a draw.” You grunted as you fixed the suture.

The sight of someone towering over his boyfriend after headbutting them made Namjoon on edge. Jungkook talked for days and days about how much he loved spending time with his neighbor, but something was… off about you. Why would a school nurse be that skilled in combat? Jungkook was a ruthless fighter and you hardly flinched. 

This string of thoughts prompted his mistake of grasping your wounded forearm to make you stand so he could properly question you. What he didn’t calculate in that movement was the fact that he grasped your fresh cut, which hurt like a bitch. This pain made you bring your other forearm to his neck, pressing firmly into his trachea as his back hit the wall with a bang. You both looked at each other in surprise at your reflex. You gasped softly before releasing him, “Don’t ever manhandle a lady, Namjoon,” You mumbled as you brought distance between the two of you, “I don’t do well being frightened.”

Namjoon regained his composure, impressed by your reaction time and ability to weaken his pride in such a short matter of seconds, “Who are you?” His tone was rougher in comparison to when he first asked the question.

“None of your concern,” You mocked his voice cartoonishly, becoming more and more irritated with his line of questioning, “Now take him, an alcohol pad, and go.” You hissed, unceremoniously tossing the package at him.

He gave you a sharp glare but complied, hauling Jungkook over his shoulder and leaving.  The door shut and you let a relieved sigh escape you. You shut your eyes tightly, frustrated that you let your instincts take over like that. Namjoon was undoubtedly suspicious and that’s the last thing you needed. You opened your eyes and caught sight of the clock nearing 5 am, and it was a Saturday now, so you were going to sleep in as much as you could.

----------------------------------------------------------

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Masterlist

#bts mafia au #bts fanfic #bts series #bts poly au #ot7 x reader #yandere bts #yandere bts x reader #bts x reader #mafia bts #yandere mafia bts

[author-ssi]

Music & Sex ~MYG

➜Pairing: Min Yoongi x Reader ➜Genre: Smut, (Slight) Fluff, One-shot Warnings: vulgar language (Yoongi cursing), oral sex;fem receiving (Yoongi’s tongue technology), fingering, hand job, vaginal sex (protected and kinda rough) [18+ MDNI] ➜Word Count: 2.6k ➜Summary: A rebellious Min Yoongi keeping the company of a docile girl seemingly appears a bit odd. However, there are certain things that connect the two and those are music and sex.

“Min Yoongi, get out of my class!”, the professor’s agitated yell echoes throughout the classroom and all the students are left to watch a fuming Yoongi storm out, slamming the door behind him. “Fucking asshole”, he growls marching up to his locker and starting to take out his things. “I swear that was the last straw! I’m going to drop out!”, he mutters frustratingly slipping his guitar’s strap over his shoulder and shoving his laptop along with his music equipment in his bag. “Fuck those shitty professors! Acting like they care whether I become successful or not, while all they do is promote their own favourites. What a shitshow! As if fake support and perfect grades will get me to my dream. I don’t need anyone’s help. I’m going to get there on my own!”, he determinedly grumbles to himsef slamming his locker shut. “Yoongi-ssi”, her gentle voice is immediately recognised by him and he halts his movements turning around to face her.

Y/N; one of his classmates, a quiet and mellow girl who Yoongi has developed a soft spot for.  “Sweetheart, I’ve told you before to stop adressing me so formally”, he chastises her with a small smile and a tender gaze, his frustration slowly dissipating. She mumbles a timid apology with a slight bow of her head before raising her eyes to meet his. “You shouldn’t drop out”, she tells him attentively, taking a step towards him. “You heard that huh?”, he half-smirks leaning his body against the lockers as he takes out his pack of cigarettes, not missing the frown that instantly takes over her features. He’s aware of her disapproval of him smoking but he can’t force himself to quit it; it helps him cool off whenever he’s upset. Having placed the cigarette between his lips, he glances over at her while he lights it, chuckling at her reaction. “You’re cute when you pout”, he teases enjoying the red tint on her cheeks that only he seems to be able to evoke.

One might wonder why he hasn’t already made a move on her. The reason behind that is because he doesn’t feel like he deserves her; he’s a rebel and she’s a sweetheart. He can’t trust his unstable self around her, sooner or later his reckless actions would hurt her. “After you left, professor Han announced to us that a showcase is going to be held at the end of the month where every student has to participate-”, his nonchalant groan interjects her making her memontarily pause before continuing unbothered by his evident expression of disdain. “He also mentioned that representatives from certain music companies will be present, on the look-out for new recruits”, she finishes her sentence knowing full well that by the end of it, she’s got his attention back. And she was right... Yoongi’s eyes gleam conspiratorily as the cogs in his brain start turning full-speed, brainstorming tons of ideas before ultimately settling on one, “Let’s do a performance together”.

Despite his rebellious tendancies, slacking off has never been a part of Yoongi’s vocabulary so the moment Y/N agrees to their collaboration, he has thrown himself right into work; coming up with a series of melodies and beats while trying to put together the best song he’s ever produced. After all, he has a knack for constantly surpassing his previous works and outdoing himself. “This is amazing Yoongi!”, and of course, the sight of Y/N’s impressed face when she listens to the final result is a bonus. A proud smirk appears on his face pushing aside his usually humble self; a behaviour brought out solely by her expression of admiration towards him. “Glad you like it. Can I trust you to have the lyrics figured out by the end of the weekend?”, he asks reverting back to his professional self. “It’s Friday... I’ll have them done by tomorrow night! You can count on me, Yoongi”, she grins widely at him, determination flashing over her clear eyes. He smiles satisfied with her work ethic, gathering his equipment from around the studio of their university where they had arranged to meet up. “Alright then! So... Want to go grab a drink or something?”, he suggests casually and when she shoots him a quizzical look, he reveals to her his habit of rewarding himself after finishing a project by indulging in the calming sensation of alcohol. Giggling at that, Y/N agrees in a heartbeat.

----

“How can you still look so pure? Naked and writhing under me”. He tried to resist. Really, he tried. How had an innocent offer for a drink led to this? “Yoongi please”. When did things go off track? Was it when the conversation somehow ended up heading to their past sex experiences? Was it when she revealed how much she craved to be eaten out since her fingers were not good enough for her anymore? Was that his breaking point? His eyes had darkened as he processed her drunken confession and without wasting another moment, he rushed her out of the bar they had been lounging at - the one he’d always opted for since it’s the closest to his apartment. Thanking the heavens for this convenience, Yoongi led the girl only two blocks down the street gently pulling her along by the grip his long, slender fingers had on her wrist. It wasn’t until he reached his doorstep that the reality of what he was rushing her into dawned on him and guilt started to consume him. He became so eager that he didn’t even glimpse at her the entire time. If he did, he could have at least gathered from her body language or expressions whether she was as eager to do this as him. He mentally facepalms himself for almost taking advantage of her innocence like that and proceeds to loosen his grip on her turning around to voice his apology. “Are we not gonna go in?”, her voice laced with anticipation reaches his ears before he’s able to complete neither of his intented actions; his fingers remaining encircled around her wrist, his apology dying in his throat. What he turned to face was the sight of her clear, impatient eyes gazing up at him, her cheeks flashed and her thighs tightly pressed together. Yeah... That was his breaking point.

Nose brushing against the skin of her inner thigh, Yoongi resumes his previous actions ignoring defiantly the begging whimpers of the innocent girl whose legs are wide open for him. “You’re so loud”, he sighs with a low chuckle as he finally stops his trail of wet kisses on her thighs. “Alright, if you need it so much... I’ll give it to you”, he smirks as his index finger creeps over to the part of her that seems to be calling out to him; glistening with her arousal, clenching over nothing. Yoongi only but presses his finger against her clit, slightly rubbing on it and that’s all it takes for him to hear the sweetest moan fall past her lips. “Is that it? That’s what you were whining about? Hm... You’re easier to please than I thought”, he mocks her moving his finger down her slit before he brings it - now coated with her arousal - over to his mouth. He doesn’t break eye contact, his intense gaze remaining on her as his finger leaves his mouth with an intentional ‘pop’. Y/N knows he is only teasing her. She knows Min Yoongi isn’t stupid. He had known what she craved for him to do the moment she was left lying naked under him, her legs parting as she bared herself to him. So, she whines his name again looking at him with furrowed eyebrows and pouty lips. "You're cute when you pout", a smirking Yoongi mumbles knowing she's had enough of his teasing by now. And so, his smirk disappears into her dripping and pulsating core as he starts to ravish her; wet lips pressing down fervently, skillfull mouth moving eagerly as if it belongs to a man who has been starved for days. “Now sing for me, your moans are the sweetest music”, he whispers with his warm tongue flicking her clit which causes her body to jolt and his request to be fulfilled. A string of moans fall past her open lips and her small fingers tangle themselves in his hair tugging them firmly in search of a way to channel the immense pleasure surging through her body.

Yoongi’s senses are overwhelmed by her voice, scent and taste and his resolve to go easy on her is easily broken. His slender fingers grip her thighs pushing her knees to her chest as he plunges his tongue in and out of her more forcefully. He feels her legs start to tremble as she continues to moan and mumble incoherently about how good it feels. This only adds to his fervour; two fingers take his tongue's place inside her slit and his tongue moves over to suck on her clit. That does it for Y/N. Her head drops back on the bed and her back arches against it as she reaches a toe-curling orgasm. Yoongi removes his fingers but not his tongue, simply slowing its movement instead, in order to prolong her pleasure. Y/N rides out her high humming in satisfaction before giving his hair another slight tug to let him know she's done.

A dazed smile appears on her lips when Yoongi lifts his head and locks eyes with her. "Good girl. Such a good girl for me", he praises her with a half-smile, half-smirk squeezing her thighs softly. His sturdy body then moves up to press against her own bringing them face to face. She simply stares at him too breathless to voice her own thoughts. Even more so when he kisses her deeply letting her taste herself on his tongue as he swipes it over her own. Y/N moans in his mouth, desperately wanting to reciprocate the pleasure she just experienced. Getting more daring, she sucks on his tongue lowering her hands towards his clothed erection. Yoongi won't deny that he's been feeling his cock straining in his jeans all while eating her out. When he notices her getting more daring, he pulls away from the kiss and casts his gaze down to the sight of her nimble fingers fumbling with his zipper. "Too eager, aren't we now, sweetheart?", Yoongi teases her slightly biting onto his lip while he waits for her next move. "I want to pleasure you too, Yoongi", Y/N states confidently, her words all the more fuelling his lust for her.

His hand joins hers to remove his jeans and he hastily kicks them off along with his briefs. Hardly does his erection make its appearance before Y/N's hands are touching it, feeling his hard cock up and down eagerly. Yoongi groans from the pleasure he's suddenly receiving, burying his face in her neck and sloppily sucking on it while he lets her do what she wants with him. A small whimper is all Y/N allows herself to release, her mind now set on only pleasuring him. Her thumb swipes across the tip of his cock smearing his arousal all over the head, before she resumes to vertically stroking his cock. "Ff-fuck Y/N, keep going", Yoongi grumbles under his ragged breath, his hands gripping the sheets on its side of her body as he hovers over her. She glances up at him with a satisfied smile, only now noticing how straining his position appears to be. Using her other hand, Y/N grasps Yoongi's shoulder firmly, pushing him to the side and making him lie down on his back. Her other hand keeps working on his cock, as she moves to straddle his legs, "Much better", she comments earning a simple nod from Yoongi as he lets out a deep breath, visibly relaxed and now more open to the pleasure he's receiving. Y/N slightly tightens her grip around his slim girth and moves her hand more swiftly on his long length. Shivers travel through her entire body, almost making her halt her movements, when she hears him let out a low moan. "Dammit Y/N", Yoongi hisses with his jaw clenched, abruptly lifting his torso and grabbing the girl by her hips. His lips find hers in a fervent kiss whilst she continues to stroke his cock.

"Y/N, I need you to answer me something...", a panting Yoongi murmurs against her lips placing his hand on top of her own to halt her actions. "Are we going to go all the way or...?", he trails off looking her straight in the eyes with a serious expression. Y/N glances down at his cock, erect in her hold between them, raising Yoongi’s doubts of whether she actually wants to do this with him or not. He deems his concerns as justified when he sees her lift herself off of his lap, drawing away from him. A deep frown settles on his lips in disappointment until he realises that she's settling herself beside him; lying down on her back and opening her legs for him. Once again, Yoongi erases all of his inhibitions - hastily taking out a condom from the drawer of his bedside table and eagerly moving to place himself between her legs after having put it on. "Are you sure about this, sweetheart?", he asks for her permission once again, gently cupping the outer side of her thighs. "Yes, I'm sure Yoongi. I want this, so don't hold back", she answers him urging him to go on with a roll of her hips towards his awaiting cock. That's the last consent Yoongi is going to take tonight...

Keeping one of his hands on her thigh, he uses the other to guide his cock to where she needs him most, entering her with a slow push. A whine slips past her now parted lips, drawing his attention. Yoongi focuses his gaze on her, drinking in the sight of her beautiful face twisted in pleasure, before moving his hips until his whole cock is buried deep inside her. He watches as she squirms and whimpers under him, wrapping her legs around him and pulling his body close. Her soft skin is burning hot against his with each one of his languid moves and her breathless moans sound melodic to his ears. As his rhythm accelerates, the sound of the raw contact between their bare flesh acts like the bass line to a song, providing him all the more satisfaction. His ears pick up on the moment her breath becomes more shallow, immediately knowing that she's close to coming undone. So, Yoongi leans in to Y/N’s ear urging her in a whisper, "Cum around me, sweetheart". It's like he flipped a switch in her because in that exact moment, he feels her walls tightening around his cock as she cums, granting him his own orgasm as well.

Normally, if this was just a hook-up, Yoongi would already be lying on his back and lighting up a cigar while watching the random chick put her clothes back on to depart. With Y/N it's different, though. After disposing of the condom, when Yoongi lies on his back, he doesn’t reach for his pack of cigars - instead, he reaches for her; pulling her body close to him as he hugs her waist. Closing his eyes, he relishes in the rhythm of her trying to steady her breath and the tuneful, satisfied hum that follows after she snuggles up to his side.

It is then that Yoongi realises that having sex with her feels the same as making music. And damn, he fully enjoys doing both.

#bts #bts x reader #min yoongi #suga #agustd #smut #bts smut #suga smut #yoongi smut #min yoongi x reader #suga x reader #music

[raspberrydraws]

pls pls tell me about your hcs for the first members of the crew fitting the elements of harmony, i very much wanna hear 👀👀👀

Thanks for asking I love u very much allow me to bring a chair so you can sit down and read all my rambling 🪑

some notes about this absolute madness:

I feel like they fit the element but also some traits of the mlp characters too so I will add that when it's necessary

When I talk about the mugiwara's dreams I assume they've already reached them bc the story is not finished yet like mlp and I KNOW THEY WILL ACHIEVE THEIR DREAMS anyways

Please don't have high expectations ahhh I don't wanna end up feeling like I thought something cool and it ended up being lame, I'm not used to writing or explaining stuff this way (and in english tho oof double brain work)

I'll put a everything under a read more bc it ended up being long and also uhh CW: spoilers for both series yeah

✦ Magic: First of all and obvious reason, main character lol.

Character who gathered the group in the first place

Royalty !!! King of the Pirates!!! Princess of Friendship!!! besides the fact that Luffy's dream is becoming the king and Twilight just had to do it etc etc

Very powerful mentor who's far away but encouraged them to start their journey and find their friends

They're not similar in personality at all I get it lmao

✦ Kindness: oof do I need to say anything

Sanji is kind, that's like one of the traits that made him one of my fav characters (more than his totally badass habilities).

and of course that's one of his most important traits

His mother sacrificed everything and celebrated everytime he showed his kindness, he was a sweet child, he's soft with children and helps anyone who's in need.

He's so full of emotion and can go from the softest to the meanest in a second if he needs to (flashbacks to fluttershy literally confronting a bigass dragon, making him cry and leave bc he was mean to her friends)

Also both characters are certified Friends of the Little Critters ™ and can't fly very well

Special mention to Pinkie Pie here, since she shares the "Third child who stands out like a sore thumb from his other siblings because she's weird to her family standards" backstory with Sanji

✦ Loyalty: That's like one of Zoro's main character traits right? He's in the air before Luffy says jump

Cool, they're just cool and probably the most liked characters + the ones who sell more merch for sure lol

Both have a childhood dream, becoming the best swordsman/wonderbolt, but that doesn't push them to leave their friends to achieve it alone + having friends actually helps them reach their goals

hot headed kids + dumbass sometimes

✦ Honesty: The group's voice of reason

Character that pretends to be okay but hell naw she's not ok (AJ harvesting sweet apple acres and almost dying / Nami Pretending to be Arlong's little trustworthy human so she can save her village) until their friends help them to be honest and ask for help

Also they have similar lifes cultivating apples/tangerines with their families and I thought that was cute hehe

✦ Generosity: SCREAMS Chopper my little chop chop I love u my sweet child

The way that Rarity shows her element is usually by giving away something important to her (her time, her talent with fashion, HER FRIGGIN' TAIL) so she can help other people (creatures?) feel better, and there's no signs of repentance after that, she does it with her heart (and sometimes to show that she can make things fabulous)

This brings me to Chopper looking for the mushroom to cure Dr. Hiriluk's illness and showing up at his door all hurt but he's like heyy I got the thing. I understand that's another kind of "sacrifice" The way he showed his thankfulness to his mentor by risking his life looking for the mushroom and trying to prove that he's a good doctor too (even tho uhh we know how that ended)

This was a little bit more difficult to connect with his element and that's why I was in between choosing kindness and generosity for him, but

kindness had to be sanji's element for suree

Dr Kureha specifically told him that "kindness wasn't enough to save lives" and I won't contradict her she scares me so much

AND I feel like Chopper's generosity it's shown all along the show just by treating all those injured pirates over and over again for free lmao

My overall feeling when giving him the element was "He's a little doctor, of course he's generous, doctors are generous enough to learn how to save lives! so we don't like.. die! next question"

✦ Laughter:

This one was pretty simple too, I love Usopp bc he makes me laugh a lot, he's such a comedic relief for the story and also: my best friend in the whole wide world, yes *gives him a lil kiss*

Of course he's not just a comedic relief, he tries to make things easier trying to solve conflicts (sometimes) or joining the sillyness (most of times)

Also they like to tell stories! I feel like that's a cute trait that makes both characters more interesting, even when someone's stories are lies *eyes emoji* I like storyteller characters a lot !!

they're good with kids + tell them stories too !!

also the whole.. alter ego thing, yeah

AND THE PUFFY HAIR ♥

AIGHT

Hope you enjoyed my TED talk, thaks for giving me the strenght to be a little unhinged, I don't talk too much here but this whole mlp au has people coming and encouraging me to talk/write and I have a problem, once I start talking about something I like I can't shut up

And I like MLP since I was 12 years old, i started drawing because of it and I'm currently rewatching the whole series with my bf so if I see anything else I'll come back and add stuff for sure ♥

#ask #holy sh #send u a kiss #i promise i'll answer the other asks tomorrow it's 3 am i'm dying sorry #mlp au #one piece #mlp #pony #pony au

[einsatzzz]

[Project] (KH)Re:born!!!

I've been wanting to do a pinned post talking/rambling about my projects, so I'll do it now while I've still got some free time!

Anyway, for various reasons including wanting to keep it simple (for goldfish brain reasons), @amiahoshi and I decided to call this project "Katekyo Hitman Re:born!!!". We call it either Re:born!!! or KHRe for short. I also tried editing a title logo out of it some time ago (inspired from the og logo) for whenever it will be necessary!

Actually, I've just been tagging posts under this project under #khre (since mid-2023) because when I type #khr, I'll immediately remember to also type #khre. Anyway, more info below! (Ein from the future: it will be long)

Note: For any typos/grammatical mistakes, sorry not sorry this is just me rambling, so no beta we die like Tsuna did every time Reborn shoots him in Daily Life Arc.

TLDR: This project has become like my creative sandbox playground. The KHR brainrot is still going VERY STRONG, and has been for the past two years. I can't believe I didn't discover this series earlier. I am so normal about KHR.

It's also inspired from T//oky//o Gh//oul's title, where it had "T//G:re". And it really just emphasizes the "Re" on "Reborn", meaning "again, do over".

In KHR, besides being named after our fave baby hitman Reborn, this concept also connects to a lot of the themes in the show, especially with Tsuna and his Dying Will Mode. Then there's also the whole Vongola 10th generation, who seem like the reincarnation or the "second coming" of the Vongola 1st generation. I'm sure there are others I haven't noticed yet or just forgot to mention here!

Anyway, KHRe is sort of a similar universe to canon, but not exactly the same. There will be additional characters, which are mostly our OCs from the Oniyanagi yakuza family for now, then there will also be modifications/additions to the story/lore as well (e.g. certain arcs/chapters will be rearranged, certain events will happen earlier). Tsuna retains his protagonist role in KHRe as well (im so fond of him), but he will also be joined in this role by the twin bosses from Oniyanagi, Kana and Kurumi.

Kana and Kurumi's addition here really puts the emphasis on the "Re", because their individual overarching stories provide more interpretations to the word itself "Reborn", which adds onto Tsuna's.

The tldr of the premise so far is that Oniyanagi and Vongola are business partners, so shortly after Tsuna met Reborn and Gokudera, the twins and Yui (their right-hand man) transferred to Namimori. This is so that they can help each other to grow and with their respective training as well to become future bosses of their Family (Tsuna doesn't want to become one of course! lol).

Along with Kana & Kurumi, three of their guardians (incldg Yui) tagged along with their move to Namimori, while two of them remained in their previous city of residence (Tokyo). In their guardian line-up, they currently have an empty seat for the Sun Guardian and they're still actively looking for the one fit for it. Perhaps they'll find them in Namimori? (Spoilers: Yes, they will. Their full line-up is here.)

So far, the major ambitious projects I have under this one are as follows:

Oniyanagi Wiki: This is a wiki site I made in Miraheze. I'll put it in public mode once I finish cleaning up Kurumi's character profile. We plan on compiling all character/group/story infos here for KHRe, which will also include AUs and alternate timelines. If there will be a lot of story divergence with certain canon characters, we'll also make a page for them there too (from the top of my head, so far, it will be Tsuna, Hibari, Enma, Kyoko & Haru). This is the project I've made most progress on so far, I learned a fair amount about making wiki pages hahaha.

KHRe Webcomic: A webcomic that features KHRe's story. Just like canon, it starts with Daily Life Arc. Right now, I'm just thinking of drawing intro chapters for Kurumi, Yui and then Kana for it. But I'm also tempted to just go full-fledged webcomic retelling of majority of KHRe lol like just for deadass committing to the bit. I just really think it will help me improve my art a lot because it will force me to draw other stuff I haven't tried to seriously learn how to draw before (like have you seen the improvement in TOG Webtoon's art style??! Damn...I want that too.) KHRe also has stories that continue past KHR's final arc. I want that high school, TYL and alternate future timeline content too y'know! I think I want to finish drawing at least one chapter by Q4 2024, I'll have a lot of time to focus on this after my exam on June.

Into the Looking Glass: This is a Horror RPGMaker game in the planning stage and it features a prequel story for Kurumi's childhood (around 8-9 years old). Long story short, it does follow the classic formula of a small kid exploring a scary/creepy place by themselves. Don't worry, she will also have a companion or two here! (So...just like Ib.) The title is very much still subject to change, but I referenced Alice in Wonderland for it. Because it's Baby Kurumi (Alice) stumbling in an otherworldly place (Wonderland) and the events that take place moving forward changes her life. I already have a plot and ending(s) in mind, just need to write a script. This will take a very long time to complete, but I wanna finish it eventually because I'm also a big fan of Horror RPGMaker games and I've always wanted to make one (this is my chance! I alr have a story! Just need to write and execute it!). Here's a very old concept art of the baby! I'll draw a new updated one when I get the time (the only biggest change here will probably just be the eye pupils, which really isn't much).

KHRe Test Game (no title yet): Less ambitious than previous three. This will be a very short RPGMaker Game with Tsuna as MC. This is just me testing and learning the features of RPGMaker before I go do more work for Into the Looking Glass. The game is just about Tsuna being invited to the Ninomiya Estate by Kurumi and he has a very "fun" time there 😂👍✨ (just like a normal Daily Life Arc episode~). It won't be horror, but maybe for Tsuna it will be 😀 So far, I managed to make a map for Tsuna's room (and some other parts of the Sawada Residence) for the intro scene hehe

As for other projects that are less ambitious and more doable in a shorter time, I do have MV Projects for KHRe plus a few shorts (like this one) I plan on drawing them in. I listed my priorities here (along with the major projects) and will try to update when I can (ideally, at least monthly...but definitely not for June 💀).

That's all for now! THANK YOU FOR COMING TO MY TED TALK!! (seriously...because this turned out so much longer than I thought it would be 🗿...I will now proceed to hide under the rock again).

Any questions are always welcome and very very appreciated! 👀✨I really just love talking about this series, OCs (mine and others') and my projects!

#khr #katekyo hitman reborn #khre #khr oc #oniyanagi #sawada tsunayoshi #ninomiya kurumi #ninomiya kanako #einart #einproject #i typed all of this while trying not to pass out from being eepy #i did pass out in the end but i finished it #hahahaha #had to go do hand-to-hand combat vs my anxious brain just to click post on this one bruh

[yoongiseesawmp3]

amazing grace - psh (m)

part of the church boy series. 

summary: you’re spending the summer at home after finishing school and you somehow get dragged into handling the baby nursery at church for the next two months. the only thing sweeter than the babies is your co-worker, park seonghwa. 

word count: 10k 

warnings: smut! i tried my best to keep language gender neutral but afab!reader and smutty smut smut. some language. little slow burn-y? breeding kink a little bit? sorry. oral (f receiving) and uhhh unprotected sex pls don’t do that! and a lil gagging. lmk if i need to tag anything else. mostly unedited also!

“okay, i know i said i needed a transition job, but this is not what i meant,” you tell your mother, who just explained “the best idea” to you.

basically, she wants you to move back home for the summer and babysit all the kids from your church. some of these kids were made by classmates and friends of yours, and this feels like a slight dig by your mom that you haven’t made any grand-babies yet. she said the pay was decent, and the job is yours if you’re willing to live back at home for a month or two while you wait for your connections to finesse a job for you. 

“c’mon, y/n, you’d be really good at it,” your mom insists. “i always thought you’d be a great teacher, so this can be a way for you to try it out.” 

“i don’t know mom,” you say. “this just doesn’t align with the plan i had for myself.” 

“well i know that,” your mom scoffs. “i’m just saying...if nothing better comes along....:

“i’ll consider it,” you assure her, putting her at ease for the time being. she moves on to complaining about some family drama, and you start to zone out, catching yourself thinking about how bad the nursery job really would be.

-

that following sunday, you wake up to your phone ringing. it’s still early, and it’s the weekend, so you decide to ignore it and try to fall back asleep. the buzzing stops and your room is quiet for a moment before you feel another vibration alerting you of a voicemail. worried that it could be something about a job opportunity, you grab your phone and play the voicemail without checking the number. 

“hello? uh, hi, y/n,” a man’s voice begins. “this is seonghwa, from church. i uh, i saw that you might be interested in the open nursery job? so i was calling about that. if you have any questions, you can just call me, and maybe we can meet to discuss the position. i think you’d really like it, so i hope you get in touch soon. ok. um. that’s it. alrighty. bye.” 

seonghwa? park seonghwa? like the guy you had a big ass crush on from age ten to eighteen park seonghwa? just the thought of him working with babies is enough to make you swoon. maybe this is a sign that you shouldn’t take the nursery job after all, even though you’d convinced yourself to do it for a few months at least. 

then again...it’s been a while since you’ve seen seonghwa, so maybe those childhood feelings won’t resurface and it won’t be as endearing to see him with babies as you’re imagining. you decide to sleep on it a little more, and plug your phone back in before you roll over and go back to sleep with babies and seonghwa on the brain. 

-

“y/n!” your mom yells, obviously using the spare key you gave her very freely. she let herself into your apartment on her way home from church because she had news.

so, yes, maybe she mentioned the whole baby nursery thing to you because she wants to light a fire under your ass about having grandkids, but she knows an easy job around some cute babies will help cheer you up after finishing up your final semester and an internship without any job prospects. but this morning, the most curious thing happened.

she was sitting in her pew after church, chatting with friends, when a handsome young man came up to her asking about you of all people. he said his name was seonghwa and that you were friends back in high school, so he was really excited when he heard you were interested in the nursery job. he said he called you but you didn’t pick up (which is typical) and he wanted to know if your mom could relay the message that he really hopes you take the job. so of course, she had to come tell you immediately. now, she won’t admit that she’s already got your wedding planned with this young man, but she does have venues bookmarked in her phone. just in case. 

you woke up a few minutes before she came over uninvited, so you were alive and dressed, thankfully. don’t need to hear a lecture from your mom about sleeping until noon as a grown adult. you grab your laundry basket on the way out to make it look like you’ve had a productive morning and go to greet your mother. 

“hey mom, thanks for the heads up,” you reply and she just rolls her eyes as she unpacks the food she brought over. 

“nice to see you too, sweetie,” she scoffs. “i have a bone to pick with you.”

“oh do tell.”

“do you remember seonghwa?” she asks, and it takes every ounce of strength in you to not audibly groan. 

“yeah, he called me about the position,” you say, skipping the part where your mother coos over how marry-able he is. “i was gonna call him back once church let out.”

“and have you?” she sing-songs back.

“no,” you reply in the same tone. “he’s probably still there with the kids so i was gonna give a few more minutes. and also, you’re here. it’s rude to take phone calls when you have guests.”

“i guess i’ll just have to get out of your hair then,” your mom says as she starts to pack up.

“you’re joking?” you ask incredulously. “you’ve never come over for such a short amount of time.”

“that was the plan the whole time,” she assures you. “i thought you might need some face to face encouragement to call that nice young man, and i didn’t want to feel bad about finishing this family size meal all by myself, so it was a successful trip.”

“thanks mom,” you grumble as you drop the facade of being productive and leave your laundry on the kitchen table in favor of picking at the fried chicken on your kitchen counter.

“call that boy!” your mom shouts as she lets herself out, and you promise that you will so she’ll leave faster.

-

you let a few days go by before you actually call seonghwa. part of you is hoping that you’ll hear from one of the many jobs you’ve applied for in your field, and the other part of you is trying to suppress the butterflies you get every time you think about seonghwa. you think you’ve finally got those under control, and your rent is looming ahead of you, so you take the dive and call your old friend. 

was seonghwa still your friend? as you wait for him to pick up you think back on some of the time you spent together as kids, which was definitely peak friendship for the two of you. then you started drifting apart around middle school and came back around during high school when you both started volunteering with the younger kids. you drifted again when you both went to college, and you realize you haven’t really spoken to him since. it makes sense that seonghwa would still be working with kids, but you wonder what he’s been up to these past few years. your train of thought is cut short by the sound of the familiar voice on the other end of the phone.

“y/n?” seonghwa asks, a hint of surprise in his voice. “didn’t think you’d ever call me back.”

“yep,” you laugh nervously. so much for suppressing the butterflies in your gut. “i am completely skint, so i need a job. and you so kindly offered me one the other day, remember?”

“skint?” seonghwa replies. “you learn a bunch of weird words off at that fancy college of yours?”

so it seems the years apart didn’t take away that comfortable connection you always seemed to have with seonghwa. friends and family would call what you two consider platonic banter just straight up flirting, but there’s no one around to hear the teasing lilt in seonghwa’s voice or to see the blush threatening to rise all over your face.

“i learned a few,” you confirm. “do you know what assiduous means?”

“isn’t that a type of tree?”

“no,” you laugh. “it means to show great care and perseverance.”

“i was way off,” seonghwa laughs back and you nod despite being alone. “maybe that can be your thing if you get this job, you teach the babies new words.”

“yeah, tell me more about this job,” you start. “do we have to actually sit on the babies?” 

seonghwa wasn’t expecting that, and laughs fully from his chest. you can’t stop the warmth that spreads through you at the sound, and it takes seonghwa a moment to respond. 

“dear god, please don’t sit on them,” he says through a few spare giggles. “your mom didn’t explain the job to you?”

“a little,” you shrug. “but you actually do it, so tell me more. what’s it like getting paid to wipe baby shit all morning?”

seonghwa goes on to explain the job, and you learn that it’s not just a one day gig, which is great news for you. you could potentially work the majority of the day on sunday with a few hours here and there throughout the week for bible studies that need childcare. it’s not an astounding amount of money, but with your savings it’s enough to hold you over while you look for something more permanent. 

“and the kids are really cute,” seonghwa concludes, ending his thorough description of everything this job entails.

“thank goodness, i wouldn’t do it if they were uggos,” you joke, and you hear seonghwa sigh, but you also think you hear a smile in his voice as he replies.

“you haven’t changed at all, have you y/n?” 

“if it ain’t broke don’t fix it, right?” you answer. “so when could i start working in the nursery?”

“seriously?” seonghwa asks, sounding surprised, which is weird considering you just spent 10 minutes on the phone with him discussing the job and its duties.

“uh, yeah? that’s why i called.”

“oh, um, right,” seonghwa hesitates. “well, uh, i guess you could start this sunday? you can come in tomorrow to do the paperwork, i’ll be there to do childcare for a leadership meeting, and i can show you where everything is.”

“seonghwa, i’ve been going to this church since i was a baby,” you tell him. “i already know where everything is.”

“ah yes, but do you know where i keep my secret pack of snacks that i steal from the toddler rooms so i have something to eat that’s not pre-mushed? or where the good lysol spray is kept?” 

“you have much knowledge,” you tease. “guess i’ve got a lot to learn.”

“yeah, you’ve just got to be assiduous about it,” seonghwa replies, a smile present in his voice. “so i’ll see you tomorrow? and then again on sunday?”

“tomorrow and again on sunday,” you confirm. “bye seonghwa! and thank you, seriously. i needed this job.”

“it was yours from the start,” he tells you. “see you later, y/n.”

-

you get to church early the next day, and find seonghwa in the baby nursery organizing diapers into different drawers. you stop for a minute and take him in, noticing that his face shows a little more maturity than the cherub faced kid you grew up with. you’ve seen him around, but you haven’t taken the time to notice just how...grown up seonghwa looks. he looks good, you can’t deny. you’re busy staring at his chiseled jawline when he turns and jumps at your presence.

“jesus, y/n, say something next time,” he gasps out.

“shouldn’t you apologize for saying j dog’s name like that?” you joke.

“ok, don’t call him j dog in front of the kids,” seonghwa laughs, and he takes a moment to blatantly check you out. “you look nice.”

“oh, thanks,” you say simply. “didn’t know if i needed to treat this like a real job or not so i went with one of my more casual interview outfits.”

“you got the job,” seonghwa assures you. “no need to impress me with cute clothes.”

“so,” you say, ignoring his comment and lingering eyes. “you were gonna show me where the snacks are?”

in the next five minutes, you find yourself sprawled out at one of the little tables in a toddler room down the hall, onboarding paperwork surrounding you and a pile of oreos in between you and seonghwa. you catch up as you finish your paperwork, and you learn that seonghwa has been working at the nursery all through college. he’s not sure he wants to be a teacher anymore, or work with kids at all actually, but the church kids have a special place in his heart so that’s kept him here over the years. 

“what about you?” he asks. “you just graduated right?”

“right,” you confirm. “kinda don’t wanna talk about it.”

“why not?”

“well, no offense, but i didn’t expect to get my degree and then come back home to work with church babies,” you tell him. “i’m not as nice as you, i don’t have a soft spot for these kids. i just have bills i have to pay.”

“i get that,” seonghwa nods. “not everyone can be as kind and caring as i am.”

“woah, that’s totally not what i meant,” you laugh, and seonghwa smiles back at you.

“no, i really do get it,” he assures you. “i don’t plan on being here much longer myself.”

“oh? and what’s next for the oh so lovely park seonghwa?” you tease, and you feel proud at the blush you find dusting seonghwa’s cheeks. 

“i’ll be keeping that to myself for now,” he teases back, popping an oreo in his mouth as he glances down at your paperwork. “you did that page wrong.”

“what?!” you exclaim, looking back to notice that yes, you did fill it out wrong. you wrote in the spots meant for the employer and not the employee, and you groan. “it’s because you’re distracting me.”

“if i’m a distraction to you then i don’t think we should work together y/n,” seonghwa says, holding eye contact with you for a moment. suddenly you find it hard to breathe, and if seonghwa hadn’t moved to get you a new sheet, then you’re not sure where that conversation would’ve gone. there was some kind of intention behind his eyes that you couldn’t quite read, so you decide to ignore it instead as you pop open an oreo and absentmindedly eat the icing. seonghwa catches you licking the icing off and has to remind himself he’s literally at church so his mind won’t wander. 

“here,” he says as he gently hands you the new stack of paper. “brought some extras in case you mess up again.”

“don’t make me quit before i even start, park.”

“sorry,” he laughs. “but speaking of that, when can you start?”

“uh, pretty immediately?” you tell him. “i really need money.”

“so like, could you start tonight?”

-

apparently thursdays are a big day for bible studies at your church, because within an hour, you’ve got about five newborns in the nursery with you and seonghwa. the other nursery workers came in shortly after you finished your paperwork and welcomed you, and you had to laugh at them calling you “seonghwa’s friend” as if you didn’t grow up in this church just like he did. it’s obvious you’re not as involved as seonghwa, so it didn’t matter that much, but when you recognized one of your childhood church friends dropping off her kid, you waved, and she pretended not to see you. that got on your nerves, but someone dropping off another baby cut through your angry inner monologue. you hold eye contact with the baby in your arms before you call for seonghwa’s attention.

“seonghwa you told me these kids were cute,” you start out. “this one looks like a cabbage patch kid gone wrong.”

“don’t say that y/n!” seonghwa scolds you, but you can see the hint of a smile sneaking through his sharp features.. “babies are little angels.”

“you really like kids don’t you?” you ask, after watching him fuss over the baby in his arms. “you’re really good with them.”

“thanks,” he replies with a soft, yet breathtaking, smile. “i’ve always felt like i needed to work with them so i could be the kinda person i always needed when i grew up.”

“why babies though?” you ask. “aren’t they more work?”

“eh, not here,” seonghwa shrugs. “the other kids talk too much. ask a lotta questions i don’t want to answer.”

“smart man.”

“but also the past few years i’ve just had babies on the brain,” seonghwa continues as he bounces the baby in his arms. “i guess it’s my subconscious telling me i need to start a family soon.”

“any prospects for that family, hm?” you pry, smiling as you watch the baby in his arms giggle and clap.

“maybe,” seonghwa replies shyly. “i don’t wanna talk about it.”

and you leave it, for that night at least. the crush you have/had on seonghwa is keeping you from being totally neutral, so you know you’ll want to ask again in the future, but for now you let seonghwa be cute with his little baby buddies and you just admire from afar and help out as you can. 

before the night is over, one of the little girls has completely clung to you, falling asleep on your chest so securely that her mom jokes about bringing you home with them so they don’t have to wake her. with a little luck, you don’t even disturb her as you place her into her stroller, and seonghwa looks on proudly while you smile and wave goodbye to some of the cute kids walking by.

“so when were you gonna tell me you were a pro at this?” seonghwa asks, and you blush slightly. “the babies, and the parents, love you. impressive.”

“they’re easy to get along with,” you shrug. “and you made it pretty easy too.”

“what about you?” seonghwa asks suddenly. “have you thought about starting a family?”

“not until recently,” you admit. “seeing my friends have kids has really lit a fire under my ass, mostly because my mom sees her friends talking about grandkids on facebook and then she comes to me asking for grandbabies just about every single day.”

“and?”

“and what?”

“do you think you’ll have kids?” seonghwa asks, and you shrug. 

“not sure, really. maybe if i meet the right person? but for now, no,” you tell him. “need a real job before i can have a real kid.”

“got it,” seonghwa nods, something unreadable in his expression. he finishes wiping down the counter before turning to face you fully. “want me to walk you to your car?”

“i’m right outside, you don’t need to-”

“i insist.”

you take a few minutes to collect your things, and then seonghwa is leading you out of the church, pointing out which doors need to be locked before you walk out and what lights need to stay on for the cleaning crews. you take it all in intently, and soon enough you’re outside your car, awkwardly waiting for seonghwa to finish his spiel about coming to work early.

“i’m sorry,” seonghwa interrupts himself. “i’m boring you.”

“no, not at all hwa!” you insist. he quirks an eyebrow at the resurfaced nickname, and you stumble on insisting that you’ll be at work early no matter what, and you’re so thankful for this job, and-

seonghwa kisses you. it’s quick, so you almost don’t notice, but he definitely kissed you, the lingering hand on your hip to steady you is enough evidence of that. he pulled away quickly, and it gives you a chance to stare back at him, checking his eyes before flitting your own gaze back down to his lips. he gets the hint and leans back in, this time securely wrapping his hands around your waist as your hands card through his hair. it’s an innocent kiss, but seonghwa’s touch makes you feel like you’re on fire. he alternates between deep kisses that have you searching for air, and then he pulls back slightly to nip your lips and tease as if he’s going to pull away, before diving back in. 

but before you know it, he’s pulling away again, whispering something about work on sunday, and then he’s gone, leaving you with puffy lips and your heart beating against your ribcage. 

-

the next few shifts with seonghwa go by without a word about your kiss. he’s still his friendliest self, still a little aloof like always, and still so sickeningly sweet with the babies. it’s doing things to your heart, watching him take care of them so well, and you catch yourself staring a little too often. you hope seonghwa doesn’t see, but he’s caught you a few times. all it does is rustle the budding feelings for you deep in his chest, and he does his best to ignore them for now.

“why do you keep staring at me?” he asks one quiet shift, just the two of you and a baby asleep in each of your arms. you had absolutely been staring at his plump lips as they made kissy sounds at the baby in his lap, but you can’t just say that. you don’t know where you stand with seonghwa, so you don’t wanna push it if there’s not anything that should be pushed, so you make something up.

“oh, i was just looking at how you were holding the baby,” you tell him. he’s somehow made a barrier for the baby to sit comfortably in his elevated lap, which looks so much more comfortable than the way you’re sitting. “i think my arm is about to fall asleep.”

“well we can’t have that,” seonghwa says, finally looking over to you and noting how your arm must be cramped in that small chair. he gets up and carefully places his baby in a bouncer before making his way to you. “let me show you how to do it.”

“what?” you ask, taken aback as seonghwa slides his arms around yours to shift your grip on the bundle of joy you’re holding. 

“just go with it,” he says, eyes flicking up to bore into your own. his voice is barely above a whisper, and you’re not sure if that’s because of the sleeping baby or not. 

he pulls his arms away once he’s satisfied with your hold, and you assume that’s all he’s gonna do. you’re noticeably more comfortable now, but seonghwa’s not done. he places his hand at the back of your knee and pulls your leg up. the touch takes your breath away, and seonghwa is quick to position you so that both of your feet are on the stool in front of you, legs bent to create that same elevated surface for the baby that you watched him do. he tells you to put the baby in your lap now, and he stands above you for a few moments to gauge your comfort level. one hand is still on your knee though, so he gives it a squeeze before pulling away completely.

“see? that’s better.”

“mhm,” you squeak out, still reeling over the feeling of his hands on your legs. the slightest hint of fire lingers on everywhere he touched, and you focus on your baby to clear your head. “thank you.”

“anytime,” he hums, moving around the room with a smug smile on his face. 

-

it isn’t until a week or so later that seonghwa makes another move. it was a busy day, you were swamped with crying kids all morning, and seonghwa could tell you needed some kind of relief. 

“y/n?” seonghwa whispers, trying not to disturb the easily excitable babies that are currently asleep. “are you doing anything tonight?”

“uh, no?” you reply. “why? please don’t tell me it involves more babies.”

“no,” he chuckles quietly. “i was planning on meeting some friends at a bar and wanted to know if you’d be down to join us? you remember my friend, hongjoong right?”

“was he the one that you brought as your friend to youth night one year, and the pastors all asked you if they should pray for his soul?” you ask jokingly, somewhat remembering the fiasco it was that seonghwa brought a friend who dared to come to church with blue hair and an actual fashion sense. it catches seonghwa off guard, and his chuckle is a little louder this time. you both freeze, staring into each other’s eyes and hoping you don’t hear a baby wailing in the next three seconds. the room stays silent, so he continues the conversation.

“yeah, that’s him,” he smiles. “he’s dj’ing tonight, so we’re going out to support him, if you wanna come.”

“yeah, i’m down,” you say with a shrug. “could definitely use a drink after dealing with these little ones.”

“don’t talk about impure things around the babies,” he whispers back.

“hwa, none of these kids know what we’re saying,” you say a little louder than you probably should. the baby closest to seonghwa starts to whine, and he’s quick to soothe them, but then the baby next to them wakes up and starts crying, and suddenly the whole room is abuzz with tears. you catch seonghwa’s eye and smile, “bet you could use a drink right about now, huh?”

-

you agree to meet seonghwa at the bar, just taking a lyft to make things easier on yourself later. you make it through the front and start looking around for your devilishly handsome coworker when you hear someone calling your name. you turn and see what must be hongjoong waving you over. 

“y/n!” he shouts as soon as you’re close enough. “it’s so good to see you!”

“you too!” you shout back over the music. “i can’t believe you recognized me after all these years.”

“i’d remember that face,” he replies with a wink, and you can’t help but take the compliment shyly. “thanks for coming to see my set.”

“well thank seonghwa for inviting me,” you tell him. “do you know where he is, by the way?”

“he’s outside trying to find some of our friends,” he explains. “apparently they started pregaming and are too drunk to find the bar. so i’m sorry about any of that in advance.”

“oh i’m sure it’ll be fine,” you laugh. “speaking of drinks though, i think i’m gonna head to the bar, you need anything?”

“nah,” hongjoong shakes his head. “i’m good, don’t like to be affected when i get on stage.”

“very professional of you,” you reply. “i’ll be right back then.”

you squeeze your way through the crowd, fighting for a spot against the bar as you wait to get the bartender’s attention. while you wait, a hand lightly taps your shoulder, and you turn around to see seonghwa. he smiles at you sweetly, waving from a couple people behind you. you wave back, but grab his hand before he puts it down and you just yank him to the front with you. 

“thanks for that,” he laughs. “glad you could make it.”

“happy to be here,” you smile. “you need a drink?”

“hell yes,” he replies, and you gasp in pretend shock.

“perfect angel park seonghwa just said a curse word?” you continue, and seonghwa rolls his eyes.

“i could say a lot worse than that,” he assures you, and you don’t know why that makes your heart skip a beat. 

“i’d like to see that,” you tease.

“i’m sure you would,” he fights back, and you fall quiet. the bartender looks your way and seonghwa waves her over before whispering to you, “if it’s quicker, we can just put this all on one tab.”

“okay,” you agree, reaching for your wallet, but seonghwa puts his hand on top of yours and shakes his head. 

“don’t even think about it,” he says. “i invited you out, i’ll get this round.”

“thank you,” you say, placing your hand on his shoulder so you can shout it in his ear over the music. you both order, and continue to wait as the music booms around you. the drinks come quickly, and there’s suddenly a large group trying to push their way to the bar, so seonghwa, thinking fast, grabs you by the hip to lead you back to the table where hongjoong sits, now with a few new faces.

the friends introduce themselves as yeosang, yunho and mingi, and they seem like nice guys. despite what hongjoong said earlier, they don’t seem too drunk, and they’re easy to talk to, which you appreciate. it’ll be a fun night, and you all hype hongjoong up as he gets ready to perform. 

“so how often does he do this?” you ask seonghwa, who’s motioning for you to slide into the booth next to yeosang. 

“not that often actually,” seonghwa explains. “he usually just produces or writes for his side projects, but every once in a while the owner here convinces him to dj if she needs some extra cash. hongjoong always pulls a big crowd.” 

“i didn’t realize i’ve been invited to such an exclusive event,” you joke, and seonghwa smiles lightly. 

“well you are a vip,” he lamely replies, and you laugh, mostly at his red cheeks and the face of regret after he realizes how corny that was. “shut up. try your drink.”

“what’d you two order?” mingi asks, finally cutting into the banter between you and hwa. 

“i got a mule and y/n got a fancy martini,” seonghwa explains. “y/n’s all grown up on me now.”

“i saw a tiktok about a bartender that said people who know their exact martini order are sexy, so i’ve been trying a few things,” you admit. 

“that is kinda sexy,” yeosang says, giving you a suggestive eyebrow wiggle that gets you laughing. you don’t notice seonghwa stiffening beside you as yunho butts in.

“so what’s your order?” he asks politely. “martinis always seem boring, but that looks good.”

“you can try a sip if you want,” you offer him. “it’s a wet martini with a twist, so it’s a little sweeter, but still strong.”

“wet?” mingi laughs, and seonghwa rolls his eyes.

“grow up, that’s how you know how much vermouth is in it, you twelve year old,” seonghwa scolds him. he says this as he watches you pass your drink to yunho, who sticks his straw in and takes a tentative taste. why didn’t you ask seonghwa if he wanted to try? 

“that’s actually not bad,” yunho says with a nod. 

“i like it,” you agree. “having a go to martini order feels so adult. figured it was time to move on from the cheapest thing on the menu and go for a big kid drink.”

“hey, hongjoong’s starting!” yeosang chimes, noticing how the lights have changed and the music is getting lower before transitioning to hongjoong’s set. you all turn your focus to the stage to watch him hard at work, heads bopping along as he builds momentum. your table stays quiet for a moment, enjoying the music and sipping your drinks, and then you feel a slight pressure on your leg. you look down to see seonghwa gripping your thigh, and you glance up at him but he’s still focused on his friend. you stare for a moment, hoping to catch his eye to no avail. you look back at hongjoong, and seonghwa squeezes your knee before letting go completely. you ignore it, but scoot closer to him ever so slightly. 

you’re about to turn around to say something to him when hongjoong suddenly changes the song to one of your favorites, and instead of the subtle move you were going for you whip your head around to face seonghwa and insist that “we need to go dance. like now.”

“now?” he asks, slightly caught off guard as you put all your weight on him to force him out of the booth.

“yes, now!” you shriek. “i love this song, let’s go!” 

seonghwa finally stands and you down the rest of your martini before grabbing his hand and leading him toward the crowd. you nestle yourselves off to the side, but in hongjoong’s line of sight, so he smiles and waves when he notices you having a good time. you lightly drape your arms across seonghwa’s shoulders and start to dance, and it takes him no time to place his hands on your hips and follow suit. maybe downing your drink wasn’t the best choice, but hey, you’re dancing with seonghwa and he seems to have no problem with it. he really must not mind, because now you’re singing along to the chorus right in his face and he just laughs and pulls you tighter. you notice a tension in his hold, but you’re too enveloped by the song to really care. your song slowly starts to build into another, and you slow your movements and lean slightly into seonghwa’s chest to catch your breath. 

“that was cute,” he says, looking down at you through a gaze that you can’t quite read. “note to self, y/n really likes bad bunny.”

“it’s a good song,” you laugh nervously, trying not to think about the last time you were this close to seonghwa. his lips are slightly chapped tonight, but plump and kissable nonetheless. maybe if you just- 

“i’ll have to remember what else you like,” he says lowly, and you have to lean closer to hear him fully. 

“like what?” you ask, unsure of where this is going.

“well, i know what kind of music you like,” he begins. “and now i know what kind of drinks you like, too. you like your martinis wet, right?”

“you seem to be paying a lot of attention to me, park,” you just barely whisper, your lips so close to his ear he can feel your breath.

“answer the question, y/n,” he warns. “you like your cocktails wet, right?” you give a meek ‘mhm’ in response. “then i wonder what else you like wet, huh?”

you pull back from him slightly, mostly to read the look he’s giving you, but seonghwa has tightened his grip on you so hard that you can’t quite move. now you notice the tension you felt earlier came from the bulge in his pants that’s currently pressed up against your thigh, and your next look at seonghwa tells you all that you need to know. 

“why don’t we get out of here and you can find out?” 

-

“get out of here” didn’t really work that well. you made it back near the bar with every intent of closing out the tab, but seonghwa decided kissing along the nape of your neck was a better idea. then he pushed you over toward the wall and occupied your lips for some time, and after that you couldn’t take it anymore. you’re currently pressed up against the door of the nearest bathroom, seonghwa’s lips on yours and his desperate moans sending warmth from your chest all the way to your core. you whimper as he pulls away, and he has the audacity to smirk at you while he brushes the hair out of your face. 

“couldn’t wait till we got to my place, darling? had to have me right now?” he teases, tracing his fingers across the marks along your neck before dipping them to the top of your shirt. “can i take this off love?” you nod quickly and lift your arms, helping seonghwa pull it off you. your bra leaves little to the imagination, and seonghwa can’t help but stare for a moment. while he’s distracted, you try to catch him off guard. 

“who knew precious church boy seonghwa was the kind of guy to fuck in a bar bathroom?” you tease, and seonghwa responds by dipping his fingers down to pinch your nipple. you try to save face with your response, “pinching, really? grow up.”

“stop talking,” seonghwa says lowly before meeting your lips again. “not sure...what you’re into..or i would’ve just slapped your tits to shut you up.”

“i thought you said you wanted to learn what i like,” you say as you pull apart. “so ask me what i like. and don’t say anything about being wet.”

“are you?” seonghwa quips, and you quirk an eyebrow in reply. “you want me to find out myself?”

“ah, after you take your shirt off,” you interject. “i like an even playing field, i take something off, you take something off.”

“fine,” he gruffs, pulling his shirt over his head with ease and revealing the most surprisingly toned chest you’ve ever seen.

“damn, lifting babies made you buff,” you joke, and seonghwa decides he’s getting tired of your jokes. he finds the waistband of your panties poking out above your hips and gives it a tug, releasing the elastic on your skin to give you a little jolt. he looks back up to your eyes and you tell him it’s okay before he dips his fingers into your underwear to immediately find your clit. he gives it a few tentative rubs that have you rutting your hips embarrassingly quickly, and then he’s dipping two digits down to your entrance. 

“you think you can take two fingers already?” he asks. “you’re wet enough i think they would slide right in.”

he’s right, he pushes his fingers into you with ease and you hear how wet you are with each movement. he gets in a few quick strokes and then he pulls his fingers from you too soon, silencing you quickly by tapping his fingers on your lips. 

“suck,” he instructs you. “don’t wanna hear your funny little jokes right now.”

“but-”

“ah ah, i can stop and we can go back to the table,” he begins, and you violently shake your head, his wet fingers rubbing obscenely over your lips. you tentatively lick away the slick and seonghwa rolls his hips into yours with a moan. “cmon, fingers in your mouth or we’re not doing anything else. can’t get too loud or we’ll ruin hongjoong’s set.”

you finally comply, welcoming seonghwa’s digits as they push past your lips and rest on your tongue. you do as he said and give a little suck, swiping your tongue around to collect the arousal that’s still currently dripping through your panties. 

“hmmm,” seonghwa continues. “should i eat you out for good measure? or would that take too long?” you try to respond with his fingers in your mouth, but he sighs and pulls his hand away so he can hear you.

“not sure how long i would last,” you pant slightly. “and i wanna cum on your cock too badly to risk it.”

“oh baby, who said you wouldn’t?” he asks, sending a shiver down your spine. “help me get undressed sweetheart, and i’ll show you something i like.” 

you reach for seonghwa’s pants as he does the same to you, roughly undoing his belt and zipper so you can push his pants off him quicker. you’re both left in your underwear, and seonghwa pulls your bra off your shoulders as you dip your hand into his boxers. you give him a quick squeeze, which has him bucking into your touch, and you feel a little victorious, but just for a moment. he’s removed your bra and pulls your panties down next, but you watch as he balls them up and mimics opening his mouth as he brings the balled up fabric back up to your lips. 

“i told you we can’t be too loud,” he explains, and you nod in understanding as you let him fill your mouth with your soiled panties. he grips your chin before stroking your clit with his free hand, and you watch as he kneels down to make good on his teasing from earlier. the first touch of his tongue against your pussy has you stifling a moan that’s more like a scream, and you’re suddenly thankful for the gag in your mouth. seonghwa gives your clit a few kitten licks before he moves down and practically starts making out with your cunt, drinking in each drop you let out and holding you down by the hip so you won’t go anywhere. you watch from above as his tongue works through your folds, and you toss your head back in a moan when he sucks on your clit and prods your entrance with his fingers. he dips in slowly at first, giving equal attention to your clit, but slowly he builds until he’s fucking you on his fingers. you can’t help but grind down into him, and the way he’s stroking you has you seeing stars. he starts to apply more pressure to your clit and you lose it, moaning loudly despite your mouth being full and you notice a single tear dripping down your cheek. seonghwa works you through your high, kissing your clit until your moans turn to whimpers, and he stands to greet you with lust filled eyes. 

“you taste fucking delicious,” he says before popping his fingers into his own mouth this time. “so sweet and wet, just for me, yeah?”

you nod and mumble something through your gag, which seonghwa doesn’t understand. he pulls just enough of your panties out to hear you speak, and you take a few quick breaths before repeating yourself.

“two questions,” you start, still out of breath from your high. “are you gonna fuck me? and do you have a condom?”

at the second question, seonghwa’s face falls.

“shit,” he mumbles, reaching for his pants. “shit shit shit. i don’t think i do.”

“isn’t there a dispenser in here?” you ask, glancing around your close quarters. seonghwa follows your gaze as you notice, yes, there is a dispenser in here, but the smallest little sticky note on it displays the worst news: out of order. 

“fuck,” he groans. “ok, let’s just go, we can go to my apartment and-”

“seonghwa,” you try to stop him, but he keeps going. “seonghwa!”

“what?” he asks, turning back to you with almost puppy dog pouting eyes.

“are you clean?” you ask him, and he looks confused. “i’m on the pill, so if you’re clean, i mean, i trust you, so. we could still. fuck. if you want.”

“are you sure?” he asks. “i’m clean, i promise. honestly it’s been an embarrassing amount of time since i’ve done this so you’re pretty safe, i’d say.”

“well you’re doing great for somebody out of practice,” you assure him, and he laughs. 

“ok. so we’re doing this? you’re ok with it?” he confirms once more.

“yes, i’m sure. now come fuck me.”

that’s all seonghwa needs to hear before he’s crashing his lips to yours with newfound energy, and you moan at the way you can still taste yourself on his tongue. 

“aren’t you gonna...gag me..again?” you mumble through the sloppy kisses. as much as you love having your tongue in seonghwa’s mouth, you don’t know how much longer you can take.

“depends, are you gonna say more stupid shit?” he asks teasingly and you have to smile.

“no promises,” you tell him and he kisses you quickly one time for good measure. 

“i want you in a different position for this, love,” he says. “wanna hear you this time too, no gag. plus i think your panties fell onto the floor.”

“oh good, so those are getting burned,” you groan. “what am i gonna wear out of here?”

“nothing?” seonghwa replies with a devilish smirk. “that sounds nice to me.”

“ok now i want you to stop talking,” you say, placing your hand playfully over his mouth. he bites the palm of your hand and you stifle a moan.

“you liked that?” seonghwa asks with a glint in his eyes. “guess i’ll add biting to the list then.”

“how do you wanna fuck me?” you ask, ready to cut the banter and get back to seonghwa acting out some of your deepest desires. 

“up against the mirror,” he says, his voice an octave lower and dripping with lust. “wanna see you watch yourself while i ruin you on my cock.”

your whole body shivers at his words and you can’t even hide it, which fuels seonghwa’s ego more than you’d like. but if it’ll get him to fuck you faster, you don’t mind. you let his hands run down your sides, leaving goosebumps in their wake, before he stops at your hips and turns you toward the mirror and the sink. his hands glide up your back, over your shoulders, and back down your arms to guide you so that you’re gripping onto the sink, all the while maintaining eye contact through the mirror. you feel yourself dripping, and you wish seonghwa would just split you open on his cock already. 

“getting impatient, are we?” he asks, reading your mind. “stop rubbing your thighs together. it’s not gonna make me move any faster.”

“seonghwa,” you whine, pouting just the slightest bit for full effect. “i want you to fuck me, please.”

“such good manners, baby,” he says, finally breaking eye contact with you to look down at your ass. he gives it a little squeeze before slapping each cheek consecutively, and you let out a yelp with each harsh touch. “if it’s too much, tell me, ok?”

“i’lll be fine, hwa,” you assure him.

“yeah, but still,” he says seriously. “just say the word. we go at your pace.”

“if we’re going at my pace then you need to speed it up a little bit,” you bite back, and seonghwa has you immediately eating your words as he buries himself in your cunt.

“you were saying?” he asks, eyebrow quirked with the cockiest smile on his face. you risk a look at yourself and he’s barely done anything and you already look fucked out. “that’s it, baby. keep your eyes right there.”

“seonghwa,” you moan again as he thrusts quickly, not moving much but successfully shoving himself deeper into your warmth.

“feels good?” he asks quietly, thrusting again a little quicker. you can only nod and let out a shaky breath in response, so he pulls out all the way and buries himself again, ripping a small scream from the back of your throat.

“hwa, fuck me, please,” you beg. “fuck me like you mean it.”

“as you wish,” he obeys, collecting the hair on your back and creating a grip for himself. he pulls you up slightly to create some leverage, and then he’s pounding into you so hard and so deep you feel the edge of the link leaving marks on your thighs. seonghwa’s eyes are glued to your reflection and the way your jaw seems to drop more and more with each thrust, and he moans when he feels you clench around him. “so good for me, baby, you’re taking it so well. taking good care of my cock, hm?”

“seonghwa,” you cry. “more, need something else.”

“so needy,” he scoffs. “hips up.”

you do as he says, and he places a hand at your waist and moves it so that he’s pressing a finger to your clit with each thrust. it’s a subtle touch but it’s driving you insane, and you clench around him again, grinding down when he makes contact with your clit. 

“look at you,” he coos. “going crazy for my cock, my hand on your clit...fucking in the bathroom where anyone could hear us...you like it dirty and wet, don’t you my good girl?” 

you come unexpectedly at the new nickname, and seonghwa groans so loud you’re sure everyone outside could hear. you can feel the mess you’ve made between your legs grow, but seonghwa keeps going well after you’ve finished.

“is it too much?” he asks quietly and you shake your head no.

“wanna help you get off,” you say breathlessly. “wanna make you come.”

“i’m almost there love,” he says. “just keep bein’ good for me.”

you try to time your movements with his thrusts, squeezing him as he retreats and meeting him when he thrusts back in. he never moved his hand, so this is putting more friction on your clit again, and you’re surprised the overstimulation hasn’t gotten to you yet. seonghwa thrusts deeply and starts losing his breath, so he takes a minute to still inside you.

“fuck, i’m not gonna last much longer,” he says. “where do you want me to come?”

“anywhere.”

“no, y/n, tell me where-”

“i don’t care, hwa,” you whine. “just want you to come. i might come with you.”

you feel his cock twitch at that, and he smiles that devil’s smile again.

“fucked you that good, huh?” he asks, and you reach behind you to pinch his side.

“just hurry up and come,” you say. 

“wherever i want?” he asks for confirmation.

“wherever you want,” you agree, and he meets your eyes in the mirror.

“then i’m gonna fill you up so i can watch your pussy leak,” he says. “how’s that sound?”

“ideal actually,” the words barely leaving your lips before he thrusts so hard your arms give out, and the grip he’s kept on your hair is the only thing keeping you upright. you moan at the pull, and moan again at the perfect way he’s sliding through your cunt, and you’re squeezing around him just right, and-

“fuckfuckfuckfuck,” he curses, hips sputtering as you feel his come coating your walls. he plugs you up with his cock and stops moving, focusing more on your clit again as he rubs until you’re bucking up into his hand and chanting his name as you come one final time. you feel his release start to drip out around his cock, and he groans as he scoops some of it up and brings it to your lips. you don’t need a command this time, your mouth open and ready as he watches you take them in through the mirror. you feel his dick twitch at the sight, and you start pulling away so he doesn’t get hard again and try to make you come a fourth time in less than an hour. your legs are shaky as he pulls out, and seonghwa audibly groans as he watches his come leak from your pussy.

“that’s beautiful,” he tells you, pushing some of it back in as you look around for your clothes. “you did so good for me.” you can’t help the way you clench at his words, and seonghwa smiles to himself. “glad you came out tonight?”

“mhm,” you squeak, unsure that you can speak properly just yet.

“what are you looking for?” seonghwa asks, picking up on your frantic eyes.

“my panties?”

“they fell, remember?” 

“oh shit,” you groan, peeking the fabric that’s mocking you from the floor near the first stall. “shit then i need to get cleaned up.”

“you’re not gonna leave it in?” seonghwa asks with a pout. “but i worked really hard.”

“you’re disgusting,” you laugh as you try to distract yourself from thinking about how hot it is that seonghwa’s come is actively dripping down your legs. 

“just pull your pants up and keep your legs closed,” he tells you. “we probably won’t be here much longer anyway.”

“how do you know that?”

“hongjoong’s set most likely ended in between your second and third orgasms? so i bet we’re the only ones of our group left.”

“i’m sorry we missed his set,” you begin, and seonghwa silences you with a kiss.

“are you kidding me? this show was a hell of a lot better.”

-

after you fucked seonghwa in the bathroom, you casually went back out to your table only to find that, yep, hongjoong’s set was over, and all of their friends had left. seonghwa insisted on driving you home and you laughed together when he plugged his phone into his car and there was a slurry of texts from hongjoong cussing hwa out for choosing a quick fuck over his best friend. 

seonghwa was a complete gentleman the whole way home, quieting any question in your mind that he might spend the rest of the night with you. he politely kissed you goodnight, and waited for you to get inside safely before he left, but that was it. for days, actually. he didn’t work the next time you were scheduled, which was odd, and then the next sunday he was mysteriously placed with the toddler class instead of in the infant room with you. you thought you could try to get there early to (jokingly) ask what the fuck was going on, but what you find upon entering the church stops you cold.

the service must have just let out, based on how many people there are in the lobby, so it would be hard for anyone else to spot seonghwa, nestled over in the corner. but seeing as you’ve been semi-obsessed with the man since you started working here, you spot him immediately. you’re so hyperfocused on him it almost takes you a minute to realize there’s a girl hanging onto his arm, and you feel sick.

who knew the sweet boy from church could break your heart so easily? 

you don’t even know who she is, so you shouldn’t freak out over it too much, but the thoughts inside your head can’t be tamed. did seonghwa just want to get into your pants, and now he’s moved onto his next victim? or, maybe worse, he was in a relationship the whole time and you just fucked a man who has an entire girlfriend. that makes you feel like the bad person, so you decide to pick the first option, painting seonghwa as the villain. sweet, starry eyed seonghwa, who started bringing you coffee each week and saving your favorite snacks for the two of you to share while the babies slept. kind seonghwa who spoke to the babies like they were gifts from god himself. lovely seonghwa who you caught staring at you at least twice every day since you’ve started working together. maybe you had just read him wrong, and the baby-whisperer thing is just a front so he can be a dick on the side and no one will bat an eye. whatever it is, you’re upset, and you can’t help but think that if you never took this job in the first place you wouldn’t be about to cry in the nursery at the thought of seonghwa with someone else. 

while you’re having an internal crisis, one of the other sunday school teachers pops her head in to say hi and make a comment about seonghwa not being with the babies today.

“that’s weird, isn’t it?” she asks, and you simply nod. “he sure loves these babies. and you, but you didn’t hear that from me.” you fake a little giggle as she mimics locking her lips, and you turn to the changing table to look busy. she gets the hint and makes another comment that goes unheard by you, and you’re left alone until you hear the other nursery worker unlocking the baby gate and stepping inside. a little part of you hopes it’s seonghwa and he just has an evil twin hanging around, but a quick look over your shoulder proves you wrong. you’d let your mind linger on the frustration inside you, but the first set of babies are arriving, so you let the mindless tasks of your job take over for the time being. 

you’re able to keep your mind off seonghwa until it’s time to leave and you see him coming down the hall from the toddler room. he starts to wave, but you turn around so quickly he gets the feeling that something is wrong. it’s not that he’s avoiding you, well, not on purpose. he is trying to sort through some feelings he doesn’t quite understand, but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t wanna be around you since you slept together. but obviously that’s not the way you feel. he lets you turn around in a huff and leave before he can call for your attention, and he settles on trying to talk again another day.

-

“ms pat, caleb is dirty again,” you semi-complain, telling the other adult in the infant room that the baby you’re holding basically just shat on you. it’s a tuesday night, you’ve got too many babies that came from the same bible study, and seonghwa is yet again nowhere to be seen. you heard something about a shift in the childcare schedule, so maybe he’s in another room...again. regardless, you’ve got a pooping baby in your arms, and your new room buddy jumps into action so you make the pass quickly, quick enough that the innocent baby doesn’t even know what’s going on. with your hands free, you start cleaning up the toys littering the floor when you hear a voice by the door clearing their throat. 

“hi y/n,” seonghwa says quietly, trying not to disturb the babies’ peace. “can i talk to you for a minute?” 

“kinda busy, seonghwa,” you say in an irritated voice. “shouldn’t you be in your new room anyway?”

“i’m taking a kid to the potty,” he explains, and you roll your eyes.

“you’re an adult, please say anything else.”

“y/n,” he says again. “please. come talk to me, just one minute.”

“i can’t seonghwa, i’m working.”

“she can leave,” ms pat says from the corner of the room. “i’ve got it.”

you look up from the toys you’re trying to line up perfectly, and you catch seonghwa’s cocky smirk as he nods his head toward the hall. you groan and stand, assuring the baby room that you’ll be right back and then seonghwa is opening the baby gate for you. you get a couple steps away from any of the open nursery rooms, and then you turn to face seonghwa.

“what do you want.”

“your new friend seemed pretty eager to get rid of you,” he jokes. “you being mean to the babies again?”

“not any meaner than normal,” you say. “i’m a ray of sunshine in there.”

“like you are right now?” he starts, and you scoff.

“oh please. i have the right to act this way,” you say. “why haven’t i heard from you since we had sex?”

“shh!” seonghwa semi-shouts, reaching to cover your mouth but you step away. “jesus y/n, we’re still at church.”

‘and you just said jesus’ name in vain,” you point out with a cock of your head. “so i guess we’re both sinners today.”

“i’m sorry,” he says quickly. “i didn’t mean to go radio silent on you.”

‘that’s fine,” you say, starting back toward your classroom. “thanks for the apology.”

“wait-” he says, grabbing your arm. “let me finish.”

“i let you finish once, that’s enough i think.”

“y/n c’mon,” he sighs. “what’s gotten into you?”

“i saw you with a girl the other sunday,” you begin. “she was hanging onto you like she was pretty comfortable with it. not sure who she is but i’m also not sure i wanna be in the middle of that.”

“who?” seonghwa asks, eyes wide and sparkling, and you groan.

“ugh, nothing. please, let me go back to work.”

“no, no, you thought i was with someone else?” he starts again, cornering you against the wall so you can’t try to leave anymore. you watch as he flashes back through the past few days, and it’s like you see the lightbulb of recognition go off when it connects. then, suddenly, he makes a face of disgust. “are you talking about her?”

“gee seonghwa, i don’t know,” you say. “why don’t you tell me who she is first and we’ll see if that’s who i’m thinking of.”

“do you know san?” he asks out of no where. “the dick-ish dude that’s our age? he sings in the choir.”

“was he the girl?”

“no,” seonghwa laughs. “that’s his girlfriend.”

“you’re digging yourself a deep, dark hole, park.”

“stop talking,” he snaps. “that was san’s girlfriend. or ex, i should say. she was trying to make him jealous, for some reason i choose not to learn the details of, and i was the victim. apparently she’s as much of a dick as he is, so she’d been involving a lot of innocent bystanders in their fights lately.”

“oh.”

“yeah,” he nods. “so you saw her hanging off of me? did you see me push her away and knock her right into the assistant pastor?”

“ha, no i did not,” you chuckle. “wish i had though.”

“i can try to recreate it for you,” he teases, and you roll your eyes. “i can’t believe you were this upset over that.”

“it wasn’t just that,” you whine. “yes, i was upset that you might’ve been with someone so soon after we fucked, but i still have not heard from you since and that’s why i’m still so mad at you. you’re not even working in the baby room anymore, so it feels like you’re avoiding me.”

“i’m sorry,” seonghwa nods. “i shouldn’t have ignored you. and didn’t you read the childcare emails last week? the toddler teachers got covid through their bible study, so i’m filling in until they’re better.” 

“oh great, so i’m jealous and illiterate,” you nod. “good. love that for me.”

“you were jealous?” seonghwa asks with a smile and you groan again.

“seonghwa, yes, yes i was jealous. i’m jealous of the babies that you hug and kiss because i wish you’d do that to me, of course i was jealous of a girl throwing herself at you.”

you stop for a second and realize the confession you just made, and you feel your face flush. seonghwa shifts too, moving from just casually keeping you against the wall to pushing you into it with his hips. his hands rest at your waist, giving it reassuring squeezes as he speaks.

“as precious as that confession was,” he starts. “i did need some time away from you.” you start to pull away, and he shakes his head. “no, wait. i needed to cool down after we fucked because i was afraid the next time i saw you i would admit how hopelessly in love with you i am. and that’s a lot, right after sex, so i’m sorry that i took a few days and handled it poorly. i was trying to figure out my feelings, and also planning a whole confession, which was a waste of time apparently.”

“you’re hopelessly in love with me?” you ask, a smile creeping onto your lips. “why don’t you act like it then?”

then he’s kissing you, hands tracing your hips and traveling up your sides to cup your cheeks. he deepens the kiss as your hands wrap around his neck, and he mumbles into your lips “i’ve liked you since high school, and fell in love with you when i saw you with the babies for the first time, i think. still processing it though.”

“well,” kiss, “i think,” kiss, “it was the same,” kiss, “for me,” kiss.

“wait, really?” seonghwa asks, pulling away from you with a smile that lights up his eyes. another kiss. “why didn’t you tell me sooner?”

“still processing,” you tease, and with the next kiss seonghwa bites down on your lip in retaliation. “hey, at least we were idiots in love together.”

“i would prefer to just be in love with you,” he says seriously, finally looking up at you with something quiet and meaningful in his gaze. “i think i love you, y/n.”

“i think i love you too, seonghwa.”

#park seonghwa #park seonghwa smut #seonghwa smut #ateez #ateez smut #ateez imagine #ateez one shot #park seonghwa one shot #seonghwa one shot #ateez fic #ateez fanfic #park seonghwa fic #park seonghwa fanfic #seonghwa fic #seonghwa fanfic

[katalyist]

This is my third time trying to explain my theory about Grian being a Watcher even before Evo so please someone stay with me.

We are all familiar with the «He was never meant to be there, he was only meant to watch» phrase (that didn't change my brain chemistry at all) right? Now, someone has always being... Odd about it, maybe the fact that is was the answer of «Why are you so sent on Grian?» that Martyn said. Everyone just kinda agree that it was refered to the life series, but what if the answer is that Grian wasn't supposed to be there even before? In Evo.

Because Evo Grian marks almost all the things of a watcher since... Day one? First, well, he was the admin so he had the power around the server, he was supposed to keep track of changing the versions (so he must have had a little bit of knowledge that the Watchers weren't that dangerous to let them participate in the changes of versions).

Second of all, he was very isolated from the rest of the members since the beginning, he was the one that lived further away from everybody else in a version where you couldn't run, there wasn't minecarts or horses or a way to get there quickly.

Third, he wanted to have access to everything. With the station to go from spawn to his base and the secret tunnels under it that were supposed to connect with everybody base (he abandoned the project pretty quickly but that isn't the point tho).

He has always been a prankster, but he hasn't never been the one that does the easy pranks, no, Grian send BigB to a journey with riddles and rhymes only to getting back to his base to activate a tnt trap. He make a treasure hunt with no treasure at the end (well technically it was but if you picked it, it would activate a trap). He trap his secret tunnels when they were compromised and told people to send comments to the other people on the smp tricking them to go see (poor Jimmy). And that isn't counting his multiple 'just tnt it' pranks. Also, he liked messing with people when they were streaming, when he could watch them.

He also didn't wanted to obey the Watchers, twisting their rules and breaking them, didn't the listeners say something about the Watchers thinking they are above everyone else? That they don't have to give explanations?

And one of the things that just scream Watcher behavior it's how he made a entire escape room for Taurtis to complete, with everything you could think, riddles, mind tests, rooms with puzzles... Just because he could and he wanted, just for his enjoyment.

If that isn't a Watcher thing at this point I don't know what it is! And it could explain in the Evo lore why he was so calm to go with the Watchers after defeating the dragon, he was even excited to have the opportunity to watch what all his friend were gonna do even if he wasn't there anymore.

So yeah, part of my theory says that he is a Watcher from the beginning, if he knew or not that's a different history. The important part is that:

He stayed. He is there.

Grian is a player (or at least pretending to be one) like the others, he participates like everyone else, the rules apply to him too. He wants the rules to apply to him he wants to be like everybody, even if that means pain, break promises, break friendships, even if it means that he is only surviving.

But his constant effort to connect, to stay present is not something that beggings in life series, as you might have noticed, it started in Evo. His nature competing with what he really wanted for the control.

Using the same examples to his Watcher behavior:

He isolate himself to almost inmediatly trying to find a way for people to visit. And when he finished most part of his base structure he abandoned it, he say something like "I want to be more close to spawn, I feel like I have no idea to what is happening there" and went there to build Evo town.

Most of the time he gave people something in return after a prank/situation that he feel unfair, when the property police blew up on accident he build a new one, and he always apologiezed.

After the Watchers punished him once he didn't break the rules and he warned Taurtis about not doing it. Even when he always found ways to twisted or steal from them.

In the game that he made Taurtis play it was a prize at the end: A cake, dumb, but a prize that seem fair and that he knew Taurtis was gonna like, and he didn't lie.

So maybe when They took him back he was excited at first, new things, to see, to learn, to explote. Maybe things he forgot completely.

But then there was the rules, watch but not participate, watch and create but never involve yourself with the players. Maybe They had the hope that teaching him again there ways was gonna make him stay, but we know Grian, he gets bored quickly.

So he escaped and now we are in the life series. I'm not gonna extend to much here, I reblog someone else talking about how Grian is making an effort to stay there instead of going back and the implications that it has about The Watchers moving everything just to make him miserable.

But why? Why they want him back? Why is he so important to them that he can't be replaced or forgotten to live like a player?

And here I add the popular theory/headcanon of Grian being the first player to become a Watcher. Because that makes him important to them, it makes him a success, something to study, to see how far he can go.

But he isn't cooperating with them, the worst of their character: Watchers always want to do things their way.

In conclusion: Grian as always been a Watcher and the Evo SMP proves it. How this impacts everything else? I don't know!

Thank you for reading, this is my third time writing this because i don't know where the drafts are (if you haven't notice I'm quite new to this Tumblr thing) and i lost two of my rants there.

#traffic life series #grian #evo watchers #evo smp #limited life #life series #im normal about watcher grian #watcher grian

[thedawningofthehour]

I really hope you are doing well.

Maybe sealed is not the right word, more like bottled, I think Donnie could have awakened his mystical abilities if he really tried. I don't see ninpo as the source of his power if not as an enhancer, in the sense that turtles have their abilities and what ninpo does is enhance them, almost like super saiyan, but with extra benefits, like creating weapons. Donnie has his own powers, but I think it has been established that mystic is pretty much conected to the soul which still contains the connection to his family, which is what Draxum's spell is there to suppress, after the incident with the mercenaries I was under the impression that even if Donnie manages to tap into his mystic abilities these would end up damaging him like a pipe with too much pressure.

To be honest, before finishing book 2, you said book 3 would be the shortest, which led me and others to assume you meant it would be the shortest in the series, THEN you said it would be shorter than book 2, which didn't contradict our earlier idea, I'm trying to find the posts, but Tumblr post search will be danm. Not to mention that every time I mentioned it you said nothing!!! .... 30 chapters.... * Goes to cry in a corner *

I have a theory that a lot of people find that when a fic is going to be pretty angsty these wait until it's complete to read it, rip off the band-aid in one go and all that, at least that's what I usually do, and I would do it with this fic if it weren't for the fact that I wouldn't be able to log in to the blog afterwards to avoid spoilers!

And I like your posts.

I checked my bank balance and it turns out I have more money than I thought so the urge to die isn't quite so immediate.

The reason the power spike hurt him so badly was because he overextended himself. He had no framework to put his ability into, no sense of how much he could control or even the presence of mind to know he needed to. In canon he knew roughly what was happening and had his brothers around to help him regulate, plus he knew he had to go rescue his dads afterwards and would need his energy. Here, he had no thought other than 'keep these creeps away.' The possibility of what he was feeling welling up being his own mystic powers didn't occur to him because Gale was pretty certain he didn't have any powers. And, you know, he'd been tased and shit.

But it is true that his powers are stronger when he's with his family, and even though he sees Cass as such it really is not the same. Under normal circumstances Draxum's expertise would actually be very helpful in developing his powers-but Draxum joined them in canon, so they had access to his help there too.

All that said, Draxum isn't too terribly bothered by this. He wanted Donnie for his brain, not for Hamato family magic or any potential mystical ability. He started training Gale is the mystics because he was legitimately curious what he could do, (plus it's deffo not healthy to suppress your powers if you do have them-one of the reasons Bella lived with her uncle on and off throughout her childhood) but he really has no plans to utilize his abilities. Galois is more useful to him in the lab than on the battlefield, and any potential combat use would have to be pretty fucking spectacular to justify the risk of that brain being damaged. (plus, you know, that's his son now)

I'm going to be honest, I hate it when people do that. And I don't get it. I'm disappointed when I come onto a fic that's already been completed; half the fun of fandom is interacting with creators and other readers and going absolutely mental for weeks at a time. You're missing out on the experience when you just hop on at the end.

And it just feels very entitled to me? Like, fanworks are made to be interacted with. There are exceptions, of course, but in general the people who wait until a fic is finished aren't interacting with the story as it was meant to, if at all. Like, if I hadn't gotten any interaction with doth, I would have dropped it. It took quite a while for it to pick up any meaningful interaction at all, and honestly the only reason I stuck it out that long was because I had a bunch of the story already written. If I had been writing one or two chapters at a time back then, I would have gotten discouraged and quit. If everyone waited until the end to bother reading, then they wouldn't have any completed longfics to read. Fanfiction isn't paid, we have no incentive to keep going if we're just screaming into the void.

Sorry, that came out really angry. I'm not saying people have to interaction with every fanwork they come across; god knows I don't comment on everything I read. (I am trying to be better about this though) I just had a bad experience with people not reading the tags/author's notes on doth and thinking it was completed and then bitching at me for 'tricking' them into reading an unfinished fic. Honestly, it's kind of degrading to work on something for months, (a year and a half at this point) and then have people want to consume it all at once and then leave. Like bro. You're gonna get indigestion.

#doth asks

[littleseasiren]

Fight for me - Part 5

Summary: After years in an abusive relationship, you finally get out. When the Avengers decide to raise awareness for your Woman's Shelter, you bump into Bucky Barnes, the hottest, most complicated man you've ever met. He thinks you're too good for him, but when your abusive ex reappears, Bucky knows he has to keep you safe - by any means necessary.

Pairing: Beefy!Bucky x reader

Warnings: Language, kissing, mentions of violence, some dry humping

Words: ~ 4000

A/N: Grammarly is my beta reader, so any mistakes are my own. I know nothing about guns or Russian, so please ignore any mistakes. If you want to be added to my tag list, please comment or message me. Comments and reblogs will be appreciated. Thanks for reading!

Series Masterlist

"Here you go, honey." Wanda places a drink in your hand, the ice clinking together as you tip it to your lips and take a deep swallow. The familiar burn heats you for a moment before the numbness surrounds you once more. 

When Bucky enters the room, you reach for him, holding onto him as he lifts you and puts you on his lap once more, his muscular arms pulling you close. 

"They've finished processing the scene. Tony convinced the detectives that it's safer to keep you here, where we can protect you." 

Ok," you add softly. Steve and Sam had arrived at the shelter moments after you had left, Bucky having had to carry you as you couldn't stop crying, knowing that the other women at the shelter had been killed because of you. Tony met them 10 minutes later, using his connections to law enforcement in New York to embed the Avengers in the case.

You were so tired, your eyes puffy and heavy after everything that had happened, the memory of what you had found in the dining room seared into your brain, not giving you a moment of peace.

Gently, Bucky took your empty glass and put it on the side table before lifting you in his arms and pulling you into his chest. "Come on doll. Let's get you to bed. Tomorrow is going to be a long day." He nods at Wanda thanking her for her help.

When you feel the strange bed beneath you, you hold onto Bucky's neck and don't let go. "Don't leave me, please?"

At his nod you remove your arms, watching as he closes the door. Everything around you seems strange and frightening, even though you had slept in the bedroom the night before. "I know it's crazy, being in the Avengers Tower and saying this, but I don't feel safe here Bucky."

He looks at you intensely, trying to find out what exactly you need. "Stay with me in my room. You'll be safer there."

"Why because I'm with you?"

"Mostly yes, but... let's just say I have a lot of supplies hidden in my room. Let me show you, then you tell me if it helps?" 

You nod in reply, reaching for his hand and walking with him, going up the elevator and walking to a part of the tower you hadn't seen before. He opens the door for you, beckoning you into the room. You expect a normal single bedroom but instead, you walk into a type of bachelor flat. On your left is a small kitchenette with a small fridge and a round table with two chairs. On the right is a large lounge area, with a comfortable-looking couch and a flat screen tv. Walking past the lounge area, Bucky opens the bedroom door, leading to a huge bed with floor-to-ceiling windows and an en-suite bathroom. You can't stop your lips from pulling up into a half smile. "Let me guess, you and Steve each have custom-made beds?" You point to the huge bed.

"Yeah, Tony was kind enough not to force us onto regular beds. My feet always hang off the stupid things," he blushes as he softly pulls you back to the entrance.

"Alright, feel here... between the fridge and the small sink." He takes your hand and covers it with his own, making you gasp as the two of you slowly pull out a Glock 45. "This gun is fully loaded, so you just point and shoot, ok? Tomorrow I'll teach you how to shoot." Speechless you nod as the two of you slide the gun back into its secret spot.

Next, he has you sit on the couch and reach down between your legs, pulling out a black taser, which he shows you how to use. He shows you two tiny palm-sized knives that he has, one behind the tv and the other beneath the seat cushion at the small table.

Leading you into the bedroom, he shows you the SIG gun he has in his bedside table drawer, the knife between the bedframe and mattress, and finally, the sawed-off shotgun he has, wedged underneath a section of the bath closed with a loose tile.

"Jeez, Bucky. Paranoid much?" You can't help but tease him, feeling grateful for his consideration to make you feel safe by sharing his room with you.

"You know what they say doll... just because you're paranoid, doesn't mean they aren't out to get you," he says as he smirks at you. "Steve is the only one who can enter uninvited, with anyone else, Friday has to request permission before they enter. The windows are bulletproof and are impossible to scale. So no one can get you here. Does this make you feel safer?"

You look around before smiling up at him. "Yeah, I feel a lot safer here. Thanks, Bucky."

"Of course, doll. I promise you, I won't let anyone hurt you." He pulls you into his chest, giving you a soft squeeze. "Let's get ready for bed, alright? You've had an awful night, you need some rest."

He hands you a t-shirt and drawstring sweatpants, informing you that there is an extra toothbrush in the closet. You are too tired to even think about taking a bath or showering, so you quickly brush your teeth and change into the clothes he gave you. The t-shirt is big on you, falling to just above your knees while you have to roll up the sweats multiple times to be able to walk. You quickly finish up in the bathroom before joining him in the bedroom, finding him in sweatpants and a t-shirt too. While he uses the bathroom, you stand by the windows and gaze into the night sky, sadness and guilt overcoming you once more. You were the reason... no! You stop yourself from taking the blame. You didn't hurt them. Josh did. He was to blame for everything, his hands full of blood. 

"Hey, kitten. You with me?" Bucky asks as he softly wraps his arms around you, pulling your back into his broad chest, and giving you a soft kiss on your temple.

"Yeah, I'm here, handsome." 

The two of you climb into bed, Bucky laying on his back while you curl up against him. "Try and get some rest, Y.N. I'll keep watch." 

You glance up at him, brows scrunched up in confusion. "What? No Bucky, you need to rest too. I know I'm safe with you, you don't have to keep watch." When he doesn't reply, you sit up and look at him. "What is it?"

He doesn't meet your eyes when he replies, "I usually have nightmares, I don't want to scare you doll."

"Bucky," you touch his clenched jaw, "I have nightmares too. You aren't going to scare me. We'll help each other, and remind the other that it's only dreams. Ok?"

He runs his hand through your hair, "Ok doll."

"Night Bucky," you whisper as you lay down and snuggle closer to him, his hand gently playing with your hair before you both sink into the oblivion of sleep.

"Shhh, it's Bucky, doll. I'm with you, you're safe," Bucky repeats to you when you wake up screaming, your throat raw from misuse. 

"Bucky?" You reach out to him, needing to feel him.

"I'm here, Y/N. You're safe. I'm not going to let anyone hurt you. It was just a nightmare."

You sob into his chest, latching onto his t-shirt. He instantly wraps his arms around you, the difference in temperature seeming to help ground you.

"I'm sorry," you whisper as you wipe away your tears.

"There's nothing to be sorry about, doll. You've witnessed something terrible, your mind is still trying to process everything." He runs his fingers through your hair, curling the ends around his finger. "Just listen to my heartbeat and breathe with me," he pulls you up so you're draped over his left side, "Try and match it with yours."

You do as he says, breathing deeply when he does, his heartbeat like a song in your ear. Before you realize it, you drift to sleep once again.

You wake to soft kisses brushing your cheek. "Hey, doll. It's time to get up," Bucky whispers in your ear. You slowly open your eyes, noticing he is already dressed, his hair still damp from a shower minutes before. "In 15 minutes the team is having a briefing on what happened last night. Do you want to get some more sleep or-?"

Before he can continue you sit up and interrupt him. "I need to go with you. This is my fight too."

He sighs but nods his head. "I was afraid you were going to say that." He gives you a soft hug before he pulls back. "Wanda is dropping off some clothes for you in a few minutes. Do you want to go take a shower and get ready?"

"Ok," you mumble as you walk to the bathroom and brush your teeth before jumping in the shower.

Wrapping the towel around yourself, you hear Bucky enter the bedroom. He knocks on the bathroom door, looking you up and down when you open it in your towel only. His eyes are huge as he watches water droplets run down your chest and disappear into the rolled-up towel. 

"Uh, sorry," he's adorable as he blushes at being caught staring at you. "Here are the clothes Wanda thinks will fit you. I'll wait by the window for you to finish." You take the pile from him, smiling as he glances at you again before moving out of sight.

The briefing had already started when you and Bucky entered the conference room. The remaining Avengers - excluding Natasha and Clint, who had been sent on an intelligence-gathering mission - were seated around a large oval table and greeted the two of you when you entered.

"Hey, I thought we had 20 minutes. Are we late?" Bucky asked as he pulled out your seat for you and scooted you closer to the table before taking an open seat next to you. In front of you is a platter filled with baked foods, plates, cups, and a large flask filled with what you guess must be coffee.

"We started a bit earlier, I just wanted to update them on the events of last night. No need for the two of you to relive it." Steve said before turning to a black flat-screen and displaying the message your abusive ex left for you. "This was the message he left for Y/N. It's obvious he wants her back, and he doesn't care about the carnage he leaves on his way to get her."

When you whimper at the reminder, Bucky quickly wraps his right arm around you and pulls you close.

"I swear to you Y/N, we won't let him hurt you or take you," Steve says as the others chime in with agreement. "We're going to find him and lock him up for the rest of his life."

Everyone looks at Bucky as he laughs menacingly. "Good luck with that Stevie. The moment I see him I'm going to put him in the fucking ground."

Steve sighs loudly, "Bucky, we talked about this - " 

"I'm surprising myself but I agree with Bucky. Perhaps it's time to go all 'Goodbye Earl' on this asshole," Sam interjects. When everyone just looks at him he continues, "Come on! Surely you guys have heard of The Chicks? It's a song about two best friends who poison an abusive husband and drop his corpse in a lake, then they live happily ever after." He looks around, "no one's heard it? You guys really need to start listening to more country music."

"I wouldn't mind getting a piece of him, but you guys know we don't do that. We don't kill in revenge, if we do then we're no better than those we hunt." Steve meets each person's gaze, making sure they heard him. 

"I'll try," Bucky mumbles when Steve stares at him. He grabs a cup and fills it with coffee before placing it in front of you. He puts a cinnamon bun, a butter croissant, and some apple danishes on a plate and puts it in between the two of you, gesturing for you to eat. 

When he grabs another cup for himself, Steve quickly stops him. "Here, use this one," he says as he hands Bucky a stainless steel cup. At Bucky's questioning expression, he continues, "You're going to hear some bad stuff soon, I don't want glass everywhere." Bucky shrugs and fills the stainless steel cup while Steve faces the rest again.

"Now, before we go into specifics, do you want to say anything about Josh, Y/N?" 

You bite on your lip, not sure how to start. When Bucky's hand intertwines with your own, you take strength from his touch. "Josh is... when I met him, he was a great guy. Everyone in the community kept telling me how fortunate I was to have someone like him. It wasn't until after that I realized everyone was saying he was so perfect because they were either afraid of him or in league with him. It was perfect for a while, then when we got married, everything changed. He became angry and violent, didn't let me see people I knew, and made me cut off ties to anyone I loved. It was like I was a possession of his, his toy, to play with in any way he saw fit. When my best friend, Amy, dared to visit me and try and help me leave him, he broke her jaw and put her in the ICU, where she died from getting Penicillin by mistake. By that time, the beatings were pretty regular, it was like he enjoyed hurting me. He'd take me to a different hospital every time he broke a bone or hurt me in some way that I needed treatment. He knew how to avoid the system. When I tried pressing charges and leaving him, he... attacked me and put me in the ICU." 

You heard a screeching sound then saw coffee flowing on the table, the stainless steel cup in Bucky's hand being molded to his metal fist as he squeezed it beyond recognition. The others were quick to throw napkins on the liquid to clean up the table. "I'm going to kill that fucker," Bucky mumbled as he dropped the warped cup on an empty plate, the used napkins joining it.  

Your other hand grabbed his bicep as you leaned into him, comforting each other. "I had to play the part of the doting wife in order for him to trust me again so I could get away. He's a psychopath with a pain fetish and is very well connected."

Steve nods at you, before turning to the screen again. "This is going to be a surprise to all of you, but we have a good idea just how connected he is. Meet Josh... Rumlow." 

Gasps fill the room, as Bucky says, "You have got to be shitting me.”

"Afraid not Buck. Josh is Brock's younger brother. Seems evil runs in their blood." 

You watch Bucky, seeing his metal arm in a clenched fist once again, anger seeming to pour from him.

At your confused expression, Steve turns to you. "Brock Rumlow is a Hydra agent that managed to worm his way into SHIELD undetected. He was Alexander Pierce's right-hand man. Pierce was SHIELD's director and unknown to us a Hydra agent in control of the Winter Soldier project for the past 30 years. Pierce is dead now, but we couldn't find Brock. Let's just say Bucky and Brock have a troubled past." He gives you a sad smile as you turn to Bucky, finding his jaw clenched and his mouth set in a hard line. 

You squeeze his hand and give him a soft kiss on the cheek, trying to pull him back from the bad memories. You squeal in surprise as he picks you up and seats you on his lap, holding you close to him, the bad news taking its toll on him. You grasp his metal hand, pulling his bicep closer to you. The others give you a few minutes of privacy as they chat with each other.

"You ok, doll?" He leans his forehead against yours, whispering softly. 

"Better now that I'm in your arms." You give him a chaste kiss. 

“Judging by the state of Bucky's cup, I'd say we are all up to date?" Tony asks as he enters the conference room.

"Just about Tony," Steve replies. "I'm sorry to say this Y/N, but I have another piece of bad news." 

You don't know how much more you can take. Since last night, everything has just felt too much. Bucky holds you tight as you look up at Steve. 

"Your friend Amy? There was no accident with the Penicillin. Jarvis found proof that Josh paid a nurse to kill her. I'm sorry honey." Steve gives you a handkerchief as tears start to fall down your face. Amy had been your best friend. Why had Josh killed her? You would have stayed away to prevent her from getting hurt again. He didn't need to kill her.

"I'm sorry, doll," Bucky whispers as he rubs your shoulders. "Please tell me we know where this asshole is?" He asks Steve and Tony.

"Not yet. Jarvis tracked him to a hotel in Queens but he managed to disappear shortly thereafter. We're scanning the town, should have a hit as soon as he moves again." Tony says as he takes the seat at the head of the table.

"So, all we can do is wait?" You ask the room, silence your only answer. You knew everyone wanted to keep you safe, and the only way they could was to find him.

"Spread your legs a bit more," Bucky whispers in your ear as he stands behind you, his body draped over yours as he shows you how to hold the gun. He moves his hands to your hips, angling you correctly before moving them up to just beneath your breasts as he holds you close. "Perfect. Now aim and fire, just like I showed you. Remember to squeeze the trigger and breathe out as you fire."

You take a big breath, body tingling from Bucky's hold before you breathe out and fire. You were all alone at the firing range on a separate level of the tower. Bucky had shown you how to fire with an empty gun before moving onto a loaded gun, giving you safety instructions and tips before you even held one in your hand. As you fire, the force of the recoil bumps you into Bucky, his hands holding onto you softly for balance.

"You’re doing so good, doll." He whispers as you take the next shot, emptying the clip in minutes. "You look so hot with a gun in your hand. Knew you could do it, kitten."

He softly kisses the side of your throat as he takes the gun from you, making you shiver as he pulls you against him, kissing your jaw, up to your mouth. You turn around and wrap your arms around his neck, his body bent down to get closer to you as he kisses you. Your feet leave the floor as he straightens and lifts you onto the table behind you, his hips forcing your legs open wider. You moan as his tongue joins yours, kissing you like he wants to swallow you whole. 

"Tell me if you want me to stop, kitten." He says before placing open-mouthed kisses down your neck, softly biting on your sweet spot, making you gasp for breath as his hands cup your breasts. You feel the hard length of him between your legs, snuggly fitting right where you need him to. A groan comes from him as he nudges his clothed erection between your clit, making you see stars even with your clothes on. 

"Bucky," you moan his name. You feel like you’re burning up, your need for this man so immense. "Bucky, please," you say as you grasp onto his hair, pulling softly. 

"Tell me what you need, kitten. I want to make you feel good." He kisses his way down your neck, squeezing a nipple between his fingers as his mouth moves slowly down to the other one. 

"I need you Bucky, please. I need to cum. God, you make me feel so good."

"I'm only starting doll," he smirks as he pulls your top off and presses his mouth to your nipple through your lace bra, grinding his cock against you, hitting your clit just right.

You are just about there, feeling an intense orgasm approach you when you're scared shitless as you hear Steve's voice on the intercom, telling you they found something.

Bucky sighs in defeat as he kisses you softly, giving you your shirt to put on as he rearranges himself so his hard-on is less conspicuous. "Steve's such a cockblocker," he jokes as he tucks your hair behind your ear. "You ok doll?"

"Yeah, I'm fine. Just wish Steve had better timing," you reply as the two of you laugh together.

"I promise, as soon as we're alone, I'll uphold my promise and make you feel real good." He kisses you again, seemingly unable to stop touching you before rubbing his jaw and pulling you close to him. Making his way to the elevator to join the team. 

"Seems like Brock and Josh are holed up in Queens. We've narrowed down their location to a two-block radius. We'll go in two teams, Tony and Wanda in one team, me and Sam in the other. Bucky, you need to sit this one out and protect Y/N. We can't leave her here unprotected."

You can see how eager Bucky is to go and join the fight, but he nods at Steve in agreement.

"Good, we'll leave in-" Steve starts to say before a voice is heard on the intercom.

"Good afternoon soldat. The Rumlow brothers have a special message for you," the voice begins to say as multiple eyes fall on Bucky, before the voice continues, "Желание (Longing). Ржавый (Rusted)."

"Tony!" Bucky shouts as you see Tony run to the computer, typing away furiously. 

"Семнадцать (Furnace). Рассвет (Daybreak)."

Bucky holds onto his head, his eyes darting from you to Steve. "Steve!" Bucky looks so scared, it breaks your heart.

You wrap your arms around Bucky as the voice continues "Печь (Seventeen). Девять (Benign)."

"What's happening?" You shout as Bucky falls to his knees, trying his best to cover his ears as he screams.

"Steve, do something! Knock me out! Get her away from me!" 

Strong arms pull you from Bucky as you see Steve walk over to his bent body clenching his fist, tears in his eyes as he sees his friend scream in pain.

 "Добросердечный (Nine). Возвращение на родину (Homecoming)." 

Steve cocks his arm back and drives his fist into Bucky's jaw, knocking him to the floor.  The force of the blow makes you scream, worried about the man that you love. 

Steve gasps as Bucky rolls to his side and stands up, his expression cold and terrifying.

"Один (One). Товарный вагон (Freight Car)," the voice says, before the terrifying voice adds, "Kill them all but keep Y/N alive. They have plans for her..."

Before you can even process what has just happened, Bucky has his metal arm wrapped around Steve's throat, squeezing the life out of him. 

"Everyone stand back," Wanda yells as she gestures to Bucky, bathing his head in a red light. When he grabs hold of his head, Wanda shouts at the men to move while she contains him.

"Take him to the gym! It's the closest place to contain him!" Tony shouts as Wanda runs alongside a floating Bucky who is clutching his head. 

Steve picks you up and runs along. "Steve, what's happening?" You shout to him through the chaos surrounding you.

Wanda throws a now snarling Bucky against the gym wall as Tony closes the bulletproof glass of the gym, watching as Bucky runs to the glass and begins pounding on it, causing tiny cracks in the glass.

"Tony, I don't think it's going to hold him!" Sam shouts while Tony works on a tablet in his hands. Gas appears from the gym vents, causing Bucky's movements to slow down before he falls to the floor unconscious.

"Bucky!" You shout as you try and reach for him, feeling hysterical at what is happening.

"I'm sorry Y/N, but that's not Bucky anymore. That's the Winter Soldier," Steve says as he looks down at his best friend, laying on the floor unconscious.

Tag List:

@morganmofresh

@dottirose

@cjand10

@buggy14​

#james bucky buchanan barnes #bucky fanfic #bucky fluff #bucky barns x reader #bucky x y/n #bucky angst #steve rogers #wanda maximoff #sam wilson #the avengers #winter soldier

[lesbiandanhowell]

you know what time it is

Sam reacts to: Dan and Phil are Getting Divorced

First of all the title had me GAGGED but also I love the way they clickbait without clickbaiting? They know thar we've learned not to take any of the titles too serious so it's just like an inside joke by now.

- I have played this before with a friend so I know the story and can judge if they are being stupid or good at it. UPDATE: They are incredible, like they are endlessly better than me and my friend were. Funfact: I played it with a friend after she broke up with her girlfriend and didn't have anyone to play it with anymore

- The different buttons on Xbox vs Switch IS A CRIME so true Phil.

- It looked like Phil wanted an answer after "we can do team work!" and just didn't get one, sad moment.

- The household chores banter is so domestic fuxk me j am crying (live reaction I will leave this unedited)

- "That is also sucking not blowing" OKAY THEN. Despite all the openings for innuendos this video has surprisingly little innuendos or even half dirty jokes? Very kid friendly language.

- I am sorry but Dan's lack of reaction at Phil calling himself husband has me raising an eyebrow, like Dan is not fazed because it happens all the time.

- They are working together so much better than I expected you can tell they have a inherent connection. This is obviously the type of game they are more used to playing and their shared brain from sharing a life for 14 years becomes so clear in the way they play together.

- How are they already codependent in a game they played about 20 minutes... (Phil saying he doesn't want to play alone).

- "Highfive me motherfucker!" That made me laugh out loud because it is SO Dan.

- "They could just go to therapy" - the friend who recommends everyone therapy after they went, we all have them.

- They have such a intrinsic way they work together? Like when they are confronted with a task where they have to work together, they don't even have to discuss who does what it just works out organically. That only comes from being together as long as they have and being such a perfect match.

- Phil knocking Dan's head >>>> love language for real

- "Which one?" Daniel Howell you are a homosexual I don't think Phil was asking if you'd smash the woman?!

- This is the most real Dan we have ever seen. Yes he will trick Phil into getting him killed but he also GENUINELY compliments Phil when doing well or winning a minigame, like that we don't get in their competitions.

- "Excellent work Lester" The last name use got me feeling some type of way not sure why.

- Dan: "I've been on grindr" Phil: "You literally made me die saying that"

- They are SUCH a good team, nothing shows this more than co-op games.

My biggest take away from this was just how much they praise and compliment each other? They are so polite and appreciative and say thank you and everything so many times in this video, probably more than in any other gaming video we have seen before. I think this is how they play video games together personally and I am glad we got to see this calm, less chaotic and to me more real version of them. I enjoy their competitiveness but this was a very wholesome insight into another side of them.

Can't wait for the next part because if they don't finish this game series I will commit crimes.

#last point most relevant one #dan and phil #amazingphil #daniel howell #danandphilgames #gaymingmas #phan #sam reacts #Dan and Phil are Getting Divorced

[charmwasjess]

Hi! Found you on Tumblr and recently finished your 'what if both Sifo and Dooku were Sith' post which was horrifying and made a horrifying amount of sense and sounded just so...them, but my brain also went the opposite direction:

In a Star Wars Mirror!verse where all Jedi Characters are Sith and vice versa, what do you think Rising Sith Dooku and Sith Sifo Dyas would be like?

HI!❤️I'm happy you're here! Do I recognize your username from Ao3?? If so, I have you to thank for a lot of this extra serotonin I have hanging around from your kind and generous comments!! Oooooh, Mirror!verse! There is an interesting irony if Dooku is taken from Serenno to be raised as a Sith in a Sith Temple, since I've long suspected the whole canon "Count Gora hates baby Dooku for being Force sensitive" goes back to a cultural memory of the time when the Sith ruled the planet, before the ancestors of House Serenno finally threw them out. Force sensitivity being a negative taint on the family; the implication that someone was sleeping with the enemy way back down the family line. What a funny twist if Dooku is salvaged out of that situation with the intention of deliberately making him into a Sith! Either way, the real question to me is not if Sith Rising Sifo-Dyas and Dooku wipe out House Serenno, but when.

I think Dooku would be a once-in-a-generation prodigy with Force Lightning. He throws more lightning, more comfortably and predictably, than any other character in the series. And this is former Jedi Dooku; nobody ever taught him how to use it, it seems like a natural affinity related to his spiritual connected to the lightning element of the Tirra'taka. And this is after he spent at least half his life actively trying to train himself not to grab for it. If this was treated as a particular gift in Sith Mirror!Verse, encouraged in him and taught, I think he would be an absolute artist of it. Really exquisitely beautiful, horrifying shit. I bet he could control ball lightning, or create those megaflash lightning events that travel for miles. (The longest lightning branch on earth traveled almost 500 miles. Presumably, he could take out literal armies with something like that.)

Sith Sifo-Dyas is of course totally fascinating. So if this is a complete reversal Mirror, does he have terrifying visions of Dooku getting redeemed and saving the galaxy?? Is he haunted by the light clinging to him, the hidden good that only he can see? Somehow, I don't think the solution Sith Sifo-Dyas reaches for will be a shield, as he images the Clone Army is in the canon timeline. I think it would be a dagger. --Ooh, maybe even a Death Star-shaped dagger.

#sifo dyas #count dooku #star wars meta #answered asks #some fun what if headcanon #sith #sith boyfriends #in every universe they're doomed to destroy each other