#my brain: but what if i need it later

[kaiju-krew]

stargazing⭐

#be prepared for godzillion amount of shimo-related comfort doodles i need her to be so happy #sidenote: for my personal hc i have no interest in characterizing her like she's kong's pet #she's just as smart as the rest of em #and won't be treated as more animalistic just cuz she's a quadruped and got a head pat. ty for coming to my ted talk<3 #shimo #kong #gxk #whats the ship name btw im steering it now it's my ship #kongmo ? #kimo? #shikong ? #idk #i might see them more as companions later but idk that head pat effected me. goopy goofy shipping goblin in my brain said yes

[kitamars]

oh no! more ginhiji

#hhhhhhhhhhhh theyyy areeee eatinggggg myyyy BRAIIIIIN #using them as a coping mechanism to avoid the horrors of silver soul #i reached the second half and i. i need a breather #i’m trying to figure out what my favourite dynamic of ginhiji is so i can make comics about it later but rn my brain is just like #haha they want to punt each other into the sun yet they are inexplicably drawn to each other so they may as well burn together #gin san being like oh well i guess this is happening now?? and toshi trying to gaslight himself out of this waking nightmare #it’s very funny to consider #they are very much a romantic comedy but more emphasis on the comedy aspect with tragedy bits coming out of nowhere to kill you dead #so like gintama yk #also hijikata’s hair is a nightmare to draw im trying so hard #girl help #sakata gintoki #hijikata toushirou #ginhiji #hijigin #gintoki x hijikata #hijikata x gintoki #there are so many tags for one pairing hhhh #gintama #ok bye

[puppyeared]

its so hard to watch time pass when things like careers and assignments exist. what do you mean im supposed to take that seriously

#I have an assignment that was due a week ago and I really really dont want to do it. I have to but i dont want to #im probably making it worse because my brain has built a wall around it so now i can’t do literally anything else until thats done. but #because I don’t want to do it I’m just kinda stuck. turns out this is what they meant when they said emotional regulation is part of #exec dysfunction.. I’ll have a thought like if I get a little bit of it done now i can get it over with. I can just submit something #and then not even 5 minutes later itll be like ugh but I have to draw all the assets out. I have to write things and make spreads ugh #and its just flopping between those two things. i hate it when ppl are like well how much time do you need to work on one thing #because BOY id love to know too. I’d love to know exactly when my brain wants to cooperate with me and work around that but I cant #even my period can’t decide when it wants to punch me in the stomach. which is kinda funny in the grand scheme of things but still #its so weird im just lying on my bed thinking abt all this like damn.. the time will pass anyways no matter what I decide to do.. damn…. #if I submit that assignment now and take the L I literally won’t die. it’ll just be a deduction on an assignment nobody will ask me about #I know this but I’m still stressing myself about it so my thoughts aren’t really connecting to my body. weird #maybe its because Im having a hard time looking forward to things. theres definitely a lot I should be living for but I don’t really feel #a strong attachment to it I guess? it’s been like this for a while with holidays and meeting with friends so I just don’t #I kinda figured its because im pretty passionless and its more like passing interest. but it’s not very fun when it feels like I’m going to #be living distraction to distraction for the next 70 years or so lol #idk it kind of feels like slowly bleeding out. which is funny because I actually did experience blood loss this week #had a 30 minute nosebleed and literally could not stand. also it felt like someone was pinching the back of my brain which was interesting #yapping #does this count as vent #vent #Ive just been making an oc carrd and contemplate changing my blog header for the past 3 days honestly

[lovable-bastard]

Just like the gay, weird teens before me, I am too obsessed with Dan and Phil

Just some fan art I drew on my phone with my finger (｡⁠◕⁠‿⁠◕⁠｡)

#they have a chokehold on me #two middle aged gay men is what my anxiety ridden brain needs #dan and phil games #dan howell #phil lester #dan is not on fire #amazingphil #glad to be here #I found them in 2019 #left like a few months later #and now im back #but this time gay and mentally ill

[munadrawson]

🦑🐑😈🐙🦈😇

Click and Open image for HQ! [Ko-fi] | [Twitter] | [Instagram]

Sooo... I've been playing Cult of the Lamb, annnd all I wanted was to draw Frye as the Lamb. *sweats*

BONUS:

In money, we trust.

#shivrye #fryver #frye onaga #shiver hohojiro #splatoon 3 #Splatoon #frye #shiver #cult of the lamb #Frye 👉👈🥵💦 #My gay hands. What have they wrought? #I've made several little mistakes drawing these but drawing Frye as a sheep is not one of them. #Bless other creators for drawing Frye in sheep/deer costumes cuz this is the result lol. fucking ingrained my brain. SHE'S SO FLUFFY!!!!!!! #Added Shiver for a comic I'll be doing later. It's so stupid. I did all this for a stupid joke for Shiver to dictate. #I need to cook Big Man. I have an idea/design but I need to play the game a little more. #also happy valentines day

[mewkwota]

He's my favorite Mega and yet I draw his hair rather inconsistently, so I'm putting these here for my own reference as the shapes here came out Just Right. And there's some additional doodles from a while back of Hub demonstrating his built-in cord.

(Next to it is the Jack-Out switch and a port for Lan's PET cord.)

#of course I also needed to get an idea on the Forbidden Left-Facing Position so there's that too #now that I got a hang of lan's hair in the way that I like it #I'm over here like oh gosh I want to make sure these two still look like twins so I am trying to make their bangs look similar #I think it's fine now *agh* #that's kinda what happens after years of learning styles and adjusting body proportions (I jump between so many kinds so) #doodle-daas #megaman exe #megaman.exe #rockman exe #hub hikari #saito hikari #anywho yeah just putting this here quickly so I can refer to it later down the line (it made me itch my brain)

[yashley]

imogen & fearne in 3x50

#critical role #ygifs #imogen x fearne #imogearne #what's WORSE fearne thinkin gross thoughts or imogen not even needing to read her mind to guess she already is these TWO #also like ..................... imogen quietly yelling at fearne to give back what she took and the whipped way fearne listened to hersdjk #but the way fearne stood there silently panicking as imogen just silently puts her arm around her #there's like this split delusional second of heaviness before it just goes into ''it'll be fine'' and it's chewing my brain #it's like after all they've been through surely a passing friendly I love you see you later wouldn't be too much so like..... im the problem #the way they force a brave face in place of any vulnerability oooook

[stomach-rental]

Will and Louis try out a new flavor of gel to make eating tests less painful, after the trauma related to the last one. They didn't really expect this one to be THIS successful, but...well. at least they're learning things about themselves?

ALMOST FORGOT! William James Rowe and Louis Patriarch belong to @peachnewt and her series, Getting in Deep.

#drawns #gid #getting in deep #louis patriarch #william james rowe #safe vore #soft vore #g/t vore #vore mention #you can tell I thought I would be able to clean this one up REAL nice after the first one. five hours later that Was Not The Case lol #also I am on to my FINAL commission as of right now. took a break to work on this because I needed to make something #and this just happened to be what my brain Grabbed #the main reason I think will should be able to lick him is because the spit will help with swallowing more than the gel #and also because I think Louis needs to be Cleaned like a grumpy kitten #wash Him.

[collophora]

come on brain, drawwwwwwxcfljwKS

#idk #I don't know what I wanted to say anymore #I'm bored #let's do another thing not related #delete later #I'm slacking on this so much #like I got only two scenes left and my brain is #“switch to your other fandoms I won't star wars today” #ANYWAYYYYYYY #soon I promise #I need to answer to the nice messages I got right #Also Some super cool artists followed me and I feel shy now #update tho #I sew my skirt #and made a tiramisu who was meeeh ok #ok I'm late to some rpg meeting bye

[veggieharumaki]

farmnap

#farmnap has been in my brain since that recent stream and so it needed to happen #sam took the photo #rip sam drawing maybe next time #in before oct 1 #you know what that means #DARK/SPOOKY WORK NEXT YUUUUUS #but not until like... later #off to work conference I go #he's wearing a sweatshirt because he would do that. don't question it. you know it's true #also I have a reference photo for the tractor (does it look like I can draw one LMAO) and if you want it just ask #sapnap #sapnap fanart #snap #dream team fanart #veggie art

[brookheimer]

roman is free in the sense that he is free from waystar, but he is not free in the sense that he has 'escaped the cycle.' roman realized everything is bullshit and left, but that's not what actual meaningful freedom would be for roman. what rome needs is for business and family to finally make a clean separation, for him to be allowed to love his family without molding himself into an image of logan that he isn't. waystar has always been the only way the roys know how to interact with one another, and it still is. in that sense, nothing has changed. roman's declaration about the nothingness of waystar is not actually a change, because he still marries waystar to family, and thus believes family is nothingness as well -- functionally, there's little difference between that and the opposite belief that both waystar and family have meaning and are 'real.' what the roys need is to realize waystar is bullshit and family is real, but roman went from thinking both have meaning (family has meaning thus waystar has meaning) to thinking neither do (waystar is bullshit thus family is bullshit). nothing changes, the cycle keeps on cycling. finally family has been severed from waystar (what he's needed all along -- he's never really cared about the business, only his family, and the business was the only way he could be with his family, so he tried and failed time and time again to mold himself into the businessman his dad wanted him to be), and while this is a good thing, it's coupled with his realization of the hollowness of the family itself. in hindsight, this was inevitable, i think -- if waystar royco was the beating heart of the roy family (which it was), there's no conceivable severing of the two that would allow the family to maintain functionally intact.

i do think that roman will have relationships with his family after the finale (shiv is definite, con is likely, kendall is also likely because roman is incapable of not being around his family and can't imagine a world in which they don't return to each other somehow), but he's aware for the first time of the nothingness of their bonds, something that everyone has already known except for him -- something, i think, that isn't even entirely fair. they do love each other. there is something there. and now that waystar is no longer part of the equation, maybe there's hope for real relationships beyond transaction, beyond business, beyond logan. but none of them believe that to be possible. roman always used to, but for the first time, i think he's not sure. he's free of waystar, but the roys never managed to functionally healthily uncouple family and business, so being free of waystar also means being free of family -- it has to mean that. he's convincing himself it's all nothing and he doesn't care, and that won't last. but, in my opinion, neither will the distance between the siblings. i think it'll take time, but they'll come back together, albeit in varying degrees (i doubt shiv and ken will ever have quite the same relationship again, for instance). roman is free of waystar but not because he realized it's not necessary for family -- because he 'realized' family is not necessary, that family is nothing too, that everything is nothing. it's an empty sort of happiness, unsustainable and hollow. but i do think there is hope. i think it'll be okay for rome in the long run (family-wise, at least). i just don't think nihilism is a salve capable of healing deep cuts, only a bandage allowing them to stay hidden for a little while longer.

in life and in death, waystar royco and the roy family are eternal partners, inextricable from each other -- and so long as the two remain conceptually married, it'll be hard for roman to find legitimate happiness: if one is dead, then the other must be too. he ends the series the same as he started it, believing fully in logan's conception of family as a business unit (meaning now that both are bullshit), people as economic units (meaning now that both are bullshit), and roman himself as the son who couldn't be the heir and thus was never much of a son at all. logan dominates his worldview just as much as it always has. sure, roman acknowledges that everything is bullshit now, but that's even more logan than his previous viewpoint which was a naive sort of belief in family. now, it's all just bullshit. everything's bullshit. it's logan with nihilism as the dominant frame (rather than capitalism), but regardless of roman's thoughts on the meaning of things, the structure of the world is the same one that logan taught him. he is free from waystar, but he is haunted by its ghost and always will be.

#yes i said the 'roman is free (by choice) thing in one post however that was literally just to match the format of the #other parts of the post to make the con punchline work LOLL. needed to clarify my actual thoughts - that was mad oversimplification #anyways tl;dr - he's realized the business is nothing (!!) which means family is nothing (...) and logan's worldview prevails (fuck) #don't know if this makes sense or is even accurate to my thoughts bc 77% of my brain is focused on shiv rn lmaooo #succession spoilers #roman roy #casey shut the fuck up about roman roy #succession #so many thoughts to think. #idek if this is what i actually think LANDASJDNk i might change it later or post a new thing i just needed to clarify that i do not think #roman is actually free and that other post was just phrased that way to make the joke work LMAO #long post #100

[shorlinesorrows]

qpr jean and neil. that's all i'm gonna say.

do you see my vision?

#i might add onto this later but right now I'm too busy crying #“misplaced forever partner” ARE YOU KIDDING ME THAT DESTROYED ME #neil ordering a hit to keep jean safe changed my brain chemistry #i need them to be friends #i need them to call each other and gossip and send each other stupid memes that only they understand #i need them to slowly grow closer as they heal until one day they can finish each other's sentences #and they ocassionally make super dark jokes about their trauma out of the blue (they bet on how people will react competitively) #i need them to call each other derogatory names but get Super Upset whenever anyone else talks shit about the other and offer to kill them #and i would love them to reclaim the spots next to each other that riko set #and make them their own #they're not partners on the court but they sure as hell are partners in life #the mcs ever #at one point andrew and jeremy are just looking at each other across a table at a restaurant as these two bicker #and realize they have somehow both become the Third Wheel despite the fact that 1) there's four of them and 2) jean and neil aren't dating #the amount of queer platonic pining i could fit in these traumatized people #the: “i'm lowkey obsessed with you but I Really don't like you romantically and I don't know what to do with it” #and the: “oh thank hell me too i thought i was even weirder than i already am. wanna go harass the fbi with me?" #jeremy and andrew watch this trainwreck both exasperatedly and proudly you can't convince me otherwise #cannot convince me that these four won't somehow end up living in each others pockets even if they live 1000 miles away #kevin pops in frequently as his usual wonderful diva self #anyway i'm going insane how yall doing #neil josten #jean moreau #all for the game #the sunshine court

[zebratimw]

Spirit animal SQH

#svsss #shang qinghua #but mainly I'm just here to vague post LMAO I don't like to vague post its not very effective in terms of venting but #but basically I guess I'm becoming hyperaware of my like... cognitive dissonance codependency and derealization ee #also my general laziness ig and where it overlaps into executive dysfunction or whatever like I may genuinely have some issues but #I am also a lazy son of a bitch jfjfkgkg and i need to figure out how to figure it out so I can work on both in more effective ways hhggg #oh yeah but basically the thing to remember for later is the silence in the call and the immediate unmute and chat activity once I left #I should remember this and stop interacting I think? I should try to give em space I think I'm being too clingy or something #or maybe my own silence is too awkward and dampens the call? I was kinda just spacing out and not doing anything so I get its kinda weird #LMAO so I should just like try not to be in call for those times mm #I just like being in call with my friends jdhfkg but I suppose its not very good either #I overindulge I suppose another friend pointed it out to me before too haha but fjfjjt its just easier than facing bouts of dread by myself #eehh and that's why I gotta do something about my Metnal Ailneses hfjfj but ngl I don't really know how to go about it... #I get embarrassed looking stuff up djfnfkg and half the time I don't even know what to look up I just draw ?s and I give up #I suppose I also have commitment issues too but that ones not new which is an issue of itself aaaaaaaa #man idk idk I just don't really get it I guess djdjfjf and I've got existential dreads and think maybe it doesn't really matter whats wrong #cause there's no point to fixing them because ultimately I'm gonna die alone and a failure anyways? so like ehfjgkg idk #its depressing and I know its like sabotage cause my brain is being a little silly a little goofy and its not a shared sentiment #with the better half of me and the entirety of my friends but yknow its just ee harder sometimes to believe in the optimism ig #and i can talk about it somewhat normally and without like having a ✨️break down #but yknow djfjgkg I'm very emotional a person ya? I think sqh is relatable for gods sake 💀 #irrationality sentimentality nihilism and existential dreads... wanting to die because living is too hard despite all my hopes for living... #just the ol regulars yknow? #and another thing... do I talk to my friends about these things? I vent them out here a lot but what do I really want? #I'm not strong enough to keep it to myself clearly but I'm also too proud to share these thoughts? I dump them out in the open and for what? #whenever someone reaches out with concern and care I don't respond in kind and refuse to elaborate? #so like what do I want with this? I guess I want someone to know I'm going insane half the time I'm awake? but not do anything about it? #that's pretty unfair I guess... and stupid I think I do want to share my thoughts with someone but I'm too scared of the ramifications #and that my pride can't stand the fact I might be looked differently by my friends even tho the image they have of me is already quite silly #man.... idk.... I'll come to conclusions myself and do nothing about them so I guess that'll happen again aah idk idk idk

[skunkes]

ok posting it here bc im not sure if its going to stay in the doodle page

#delete later #deleting soon bc eyes on me #for those of you who kept asking about Something last year LOLLL #sorry this is too entry level vent comic ykwim i jst needed to get it out #im over it in the sense that like ok yeah whatever #but not in the sense that i came out worse than before. i was already Small. ive been further Smallened #i was a rebound and lied to and discarded...which thank god i was Set Free but wow! #all my personal fears reinforced. it is embarrassing for me to want and need...i get it neow. i was a stepping stone i am an npc #idk that i could do it again! im not sure its worth trying i am too much of a...project. #as i was told from day 1 but still ran directly into it #and i was too much of a coward to leave myself. if it happened again i wouldnt be able to leave then either. #im happy that i dont think it could get much worse than all that for my first experience but it was also exhausting #and weirdly at the same time i dont think i cld ever expect better #its almost been a year since its been Done and the words and treatment linger <3 #this is also why i had to enlist talon as imaginary bf number 2 LOL need extra reinforcement and love #cringe as fuck but it rly will never be as good as whats in my brain...i know that neow. i will spare everyone the trouble #and remove myself from the dating pool (<- implying he was ever even in it) #i dont even hold any ill will toward em bc they were right...its just hurts ykwim

[ihearnocomplaints]

me if uhhhh me if you uh if you reblog my art and give me love and attention

#hi welcome to chilis #Im like drunk-tired or something #im feckin exhausted m8 #i need to slep #but my brain hates me sigh #(me who desperately wants to do something creative but doesn’t have the time or energy) #anyway uhhhhh points tho my art tag -> #complaintsconcepts #might delete later because i am a sad little creature who just really likes when people like my things #i wish i made better art that people would think is cool like all these cool amazing artists that can actually draw good things #(says the guy with the lowest self confidence on the planet) #anyway I’m drawing an updated persona because i finally figured out what I want the design to be #yes it is the halloween clown version of my slimesona #because i love it #(unfortunately what colours to use— i do not know)

[bonnieisaway]

WHICH ONE OF YOU WAS IT THAT - I KNOW IT WAS ONE OF MY MUTUALS - WE HAD A REALLY LONG CONVERSATION ABOUT HOW SEVEN ALWAYS WENT STRAIGHT FOR THE KILL IN THE PAST, AND WE GOT ON THE TOPIC OF THE GIRL IN WHITE AND YOU SAID THAT YOU THOUGHT SHE DIDN'T MEAN FOR SEVEN TO DIE BECAUSE SHE DIDN'T GO THROUGH THE HEART NOTICBLY MORE THROUGH HIS CHEST/STOMACH AND I SAID I WASN'T SURE IF WE COULD REALLY GO OFF OF THAT BECAUSE WE HADN'T KNOWN MUCH OF HER CHARACTER NOR WHY SHE DID IT BECAUSE I FEEL LIKE WE NEED TO SIT DOWN AND REDISCUSS THIS BECAUSE SEASON FOUR SPOILER THING UNDER CUT

I WENT FUCKING FERAL WHEN THIS WAS SAID because like obviously the question is when the hell did that poison get put in him because I feel like , Seven wouldn't have taken it himself? Like he wanted to move on and he was willing to fight all of Xuanwu for the girl in white but I think he would've known he had to do that face on and that poison would only, inevitably, put them in more danger?

And I can't think of another shadow killer or the leader that would want this- EVERYONE wanted him dead, Green Phoenix presumably didn't care because evidently the shadow killers DIDN'T go after him last time or were afraid to, otherwise he would've used his plan earlier, the leader NEVER gets off his ass, and there would've been no point erasing his memories if he was wanted dead.

I feel like the logical conclusion here - at least I'm assuming between the moment he was stabbed and washed up nobody else saw him, and prior to the fight he hadn't seen anybody else who'd have done this nor discussed it - is that the girl in white had it on her blade, right? Like wasn't she also wanted dead? Seven was protecting her and that's the whole reason he was wanted dead, so killing him would've gotten her killed too and I feel like this shit is waaay too much to pull a sort of long-con to get him killed, but even if she WAS supposed to kill him as some sort of long hidden plan, maybe she might've loved him anyway and CHOSE this form of mercy? Because erasing his memories would effectively 'kill' him? Or was it that they both wanted this to end so badly but she chose the impulsive way out, getting herself killed and a merciful, forgetful end for Seven that had a fighting chance of letting him live on without her?

But also the symbolism when they show it confuses me.

So this eye was a new thing in season four and it ONLY ever really is shown around the leader of the shadow killers, when he's on his being-an-eldritch-horror shit, but my thing is WHAT purpose would he have to do that to Seven? Like yeah, he ordered him dead, but HOW would he even get that done and what reason would he have? Like, it was kind of presumed the leader had gone out on a limb and chosen SPECIFICALLY Seven for some unnamed reason, to a point that even Redtooth was fuckin annoyed about it (probably because to some degree Redtooth envied him but let's pack that away for another day) so I don't know WHY this eye is here

There's also a crow here which I would assume was ALSO for the leader's spybird if it wasn't for Blackbird's whip right next to it? But like, Blackbird doesn't seemingly have an unsettled score with Seven. He wanted him to die, yes, and he said "painfully at my hands," but that's like, how everyone dies to Blackbird. And their entire fight, there was nothing brought up about something in their past or between these two, everything was only about Blackbird's past and his tramua, which almost sounded like he felt like he needed to be this anti-hero killing Seven because of the order and would let Shimen take the reward.

There's also a really faint hand here? I don't know what else to attribute it to other than this hand:

back in season three, which this sequence was VERY much a long allegory about Seven's nature and that he's had a very, very short time to live the life he wanted and that he's basically being fucking dragged through life at this rate, though noticeably the hand here in season four has a red, glowy texture on it (aside from the rest of the texture near it) that's seeming to me either be blood or also another sort of imagery for the poison in him

but also there feels like there's a larger image here, too? It's really hard to make out because I can't really tell if it's just the shading , or a stylistic choice, but the bottom right is noticeably a different shade and has an outline and the inside has a wood-grain like texture? But I think also this might just be a sort of outline - given where it starts on Seven's shoulder - that's supposed to look like a gaseous, poison cloud coming from him. just AAAAAAAH oh my GOD there's so much to think about from this 20 seconds alone kill me

#scissor seven #killer seven #wu liuqi #seven #Also I'll probably repost about it later #but can we talk about how i was DEAD ON about dai bo being afraid of seven leaving and it showed the EXACT screenshot i posted here abt it #GOD that was fucking validating #I have never felt more based the show fr validated me im RIGHT im not just overthinking RAAAHHH A W FOR MEEEE #and also all of us but like i need this for my ego just fuckin give me a moment #season four #spoilers #i think i should tag spoilers? idk its been 9 months but just hit netflic #Back in full swing with the analysis #Analysis trio (that's what my brain has dubbed me james and immortal basically) restored