#my cat the contortionist

[yikes-ajax]

idk y'all, I think my cats an alien, her bones become liquid sometimes

#little fucking contortionist #im SO glad i caught it on camera shes crazy #ive been saying i dont think shes actually a cat and heres more fuel to the fire wtf #animals #petblr #cat life #cat lovers #catblr #cat #my cat #cat photos #cat pictures #calico cat #calico #funny cats #funny cat pics #weird cat

[rainbowbeanart]

UPGRADES, PEOPLE! UPGRADES!

#clowder circus #my art #furry art #cats #circus #furry #accountant #contortionist #oc:porter #oc:marlon

[fagbearentertainment]

Hmm today I will make a The Amazing Digital Circus oc!

*literally just fuses my two main ocs*

Alright now let’s see what I came up w- oh.

#my idea was a cat who’s a contortionist #or like an acrobat or something like that #and yeah that’s literally just my furry oc crystal and my one piece oc bendy

[lilidawnonthemoon]

🪱

#not sped up haha #my energetic baby #cats #kitty #funny #adorable #playing #lovely #happy #fun #garden #home #rolling in the dirt #little worm #fluffy #winter #February #contortionist

[hellenhighwater]

Have you ever successfully harness/leash trained a cat? And if so, how?

This is gonna get a little long.

Malice is, to some degree, harness trained, but I don't really take her on walks or anything like that? Usually if she's on a harness and leash it's because she's going somewhere and probably 90% of the time I'm going to be carrying her. She's actually decent at following on the leash, she's just remarkably lazy.

Before you even touch a harness (and do make sure you're getting one that fits properly, you can find lots of articles on how to do that) you need to make sure you have really, really gotten a good "come here" command drilled into your cat's head. We'll touch on that again later.

I started harness training her when she was so little that her first 'harness" was actually the ankle section of a tube sock with holes cut into it, just to get her used to the feeling. You start by getting the cat used to just the existence of the harness, with rewards for interacting with it; and then move up to trying the harness on (without leash) in a safe indoor space for short periods, and then work up to longer times, rewarding for everything as you go. Then you start adding the leash on--still indoors, mind you!--and from there work on brief outdoor visits. Every step needs to last until the cat is more or less fully comfortable at that stage, and once you have the cat on a harness you need to work on habituating that cat to all the chaos of the outdoors in general. As you go through this process, keep working on that return command! You want your cat, on and off leash, in and out of harness, to know when you need them to come back to you.

The thing with harnesses is that there simply isn't one that's escape proof, and having a leash attached to the harness just gives the cat leverage. Cats, anatomically, are almost impossible to contain because of the extreme flexibility of their bodies. So if you have your cat on a harness and they get scared and try to bolt, and you aren't ready for it, odds are that they're going to be able to wrench out of the harness and run. As you train, you need to be making sure that you're really solid in the work you're doing with your cat, so you don't get those sudden shocks. Take your time; do the training slowly and correctly.

Even then, stay alert. I had Malice on my lap, on my own dang front porch, on a leash and harness just a few months ago, and a literal monster truck whipped around the corner of my (usually very quiet!) street. In a fraction of a second, Mal had gotten out of the harness and was trying to bolt, and clutching onto her long enough to open the door and get inside meant that she did serious damage to both my arms, my shoulder, and even managed to scratch my face badly enough that I was bleeding in two places. The dress I was wearing was so clawed up in the bodice that I'm still trying to figure out how to patch it. And that was a good outcome, because Malice didn't wind up loose in traffic and I healed with only a couple minor scars.

And this is why you need a very strong recall command if you want to start harness training a cat. If they do get loose somehow, you want to make sure they recognize when you're calling them back. It's not going to work if they're in a dead panic, but once they calm down (and possibly realize they have no idea where they are) you have a shot at getting them home.

I do think harnesses are a great option for indoor cats to get outside time, but I think it's important to be really careful about where you go and what you do once you have a cat on a leash. It's not like dogs, where a properly fitted collar and harness will take some real work to get out of--cats are fast, and they're contortionists; even a really good harness will only slow them down. If you're travelling and your cat gets off-harness in a national park, you are very likely to never see that cat again. So just...be careful! I'm not saying don't do it, just do it mindfully.

#every time i see some Adventure Cat on a harness somewhere in the wilderness #i am like Buddy I Hope You Have Done So Much Recall Training With That Cat #because if they squirm out that is SO much unfettered wilderness to search for them

[copperbadge]

How are cats even real. I walked into the bedroom and they were just chilling there like this. 

[ID: Dearborn the tortie and Polk the tabby are sitting on my bed’s duvet; Dearborn is lying on her side, gazing at the camera, with her legs tucked under Polk’s butt. Polk is seated, mostly, clearly interrupted in the middle of a bath, with one of her back legs lifted over her head and tucked behind her shoulder like a contortionist.] 

#dearborn and polk

[shaunamilfman]

shauna is definitely the type to get jealous over a pet… Like maybe you find a stray kitten or adopt one, but the second you start spending more time with it, there’s literal steam coming out of her ears. you’ll be cuddling with the kitten on your bed and she’s giving it the nastiest stank eyes Ever!!!! because it should be HER you’re cuddling with.

i was also gonna say jackie is the type too, but i can also see her like pushing you aside to give the kitten some love 😭 abandoning you smh 🙄

shauna shipman gets jealous over inanimate objects lets be real. theres this quote from this gideon/harrow fic i read a while ago where its something like "i want us to mesh our souls together so much that we become one. i want to own your things because if they're mine i dont have to be jealous of the attention you give them" and its literally shauna. (griddlehark is the masc toxic yuri we needed fr fr)

shauna glares at the cat whenever she sees it. shauna shipman is literally out there like "me, my girlfriend, and her new kitten". shes so petty about it. she's playing contortionist so that she can cuddle you without accidentally touching her mortal enemy (a kitten) that you're cuddling.

she leaves the door open a few times "accidentally" just hoping the cat will run away but she feels so bad that she ends up chasing it around and bringing it back lmaoooo. you come home and she has like sticks in her hair and is panting and covered in scratches and you're like???? and she just will not answer any questions about it. your cat is like rubbing up against your legs all affectionately as shauna bleeds across the room

jackie gives dad who didn't want the pet but is now bestie's vibes with it for sure. her and that cat go everywhere together shes like a fucking disney princess walking around with the cat on her shoulder.

#antlerbf #shauna thoughts 💙

[yakool-foolio]

Would you lie down on Vivia?

Basically becoming a weighted blanket for an eepy ghost-cat guy? I mean, sure, why not? Granted I probably wouldn't be too good a blanket cause I am a little baby man compared to his height. I don't think he'd be much of a heat conductor himself actually; being so close to death might make him surprisingly cold to the touch. Though that's not really an issue compared to exactly where he'd be positioned for me to even possibly have a chance to lie down on him. Whether he's sleeping in the fireplace, under a table, or on top of a bookshelf, it'd be double the compression! Vivia, being the contortionist he is, wouldn't have a care in the world, but I'd be flattened like a pancake or snapped in half like a twig if I were to try joining him in his indulgent escapades. It's a risk one has to be crazy enough to take. But I lost all my marbles eons ago!

#god save my little broken body #rain code #vivia twilight

[rosescries]

So how about a contortionist Mc in Dust Coated?

Like POV your about to go yell at the local wet cat gf of the homicidal double and she’s contorted her body into an actual pretzel while watching YouTube on her bed.

Bonus points if she does the contorting her upper body to the ground with her hips foreword- like she did a backbend but decided ‘hey what if I twisted my upper body around while keeping my legs and hips straight lmao” and did just that.

They occasionally catch her in weird positions. Accidentally of course. She likes to relax in the most uncomfortable looking positions.

They'd get freaked out a lot at first, like Dust finally snapped and killed her, but get used to it after a while.

Black, Edge, and Red would snap at her to quit with the freaky shit whenever they caught her. Mutt wouldn't care. Blue, Papyrus, and Stretch would actually be a little interested in how she's even able to do it. Sans is just always a little worried.

Lilac and Charmed think it's real cool and are very curious. Dust is the same. Kind freaks Grey and Lunar out though, they always get little heart attacks.

#dust coated asks #rosey answers #anonymous

[lmelodie]

FUSION AU YEAHHHH! Kills and Mera addition! Here is Khaos or Chirin if you wanna be boring about it. Let me ramble about them under the cut! My sweet little trash baby!

The only reason that they have two names kind of is because their names are already very phonetically similar and Chirin was the less boring option, but then KHAOS came to mind (spelled exactly like that) and i fell in love. So their name is Khaos lol

Chimera's sluttiness and Killian's garbage vibes really give this character a FLAVOR. If the word Scuttle or Skitter was a person, Khaos would be them lol.

Mostly because they do scuttle about! They are on all fours a lot, climbing over stuff and pouncing on people because they still feel very quadrupedal even though they only have two legs. Gives them an extra layer of goblin energy that is very on brand.

I think the personality here is channeling MAJOR Eda Owlhouse vibes, moreso than Jackie over there (also very VERY vague inspo coming from Eris of Sinbad fame). Like, if you combine a grimy homeless man and the hottest woman ever you will get a trashy milf out of it. Thats what they are, a trashy milf lol.

A tomboy fatale if you will.

Okay so, I don't know why this fusion just gives such SHORT ENEGERY?? I think its because their so Crechur coded that they've gotta be a little smaller than others. Shorter than Jackie even!

I just knew FOR A FACT that I had to give them the most crazy MANE imaginable, kind of giving them mad hatter vibes almost. The rest of the fit is still up for debate (trying to balance out baggy and covered and max sluttiness is not easy), but they do have double snake scarf! Both snake friends!

Plus their little half skirt, caplet thingy has subtle leopard spots on it, instead of just grime and stains.

I think their whole powerset would be based around the idea of a really bad acid trip lol. Just to add another alice in wonderland motif, their powers are a lot of hallucinations, weird dream like states and a lot of other physical symptoms associated with drug use. Overall, NOT a good time, wouldn't not recommend. This is the literal image of a nightmare blunt rotation.

Their eyes can probably do the little swirly, hypnosis kinda thing.

AND THEY GOT BODY HORROR FOR DAYS. I think their niche is being a contortionist and all the fun shit that goes with that!

Like the fucking Alexandrite lookin, double mouth/jaw under the face type of shit! Thats canon because that shits metal as fuck.

And so I had this thought of this fusion and how they interact with other fusions and like, I think Jackie is a bit conflicted lol. They are trying SO HARD to figure out if their attracted to this alley cat looking bitch or not lol. Are they attracted to them? Are they terrified of them?? Is it BOTH??? Who knows! But it has been FUN to think about.

#digital art #artists on tumblr #oc #fusion au #how they feel about Jackie is also probably complicated lol #mostly chill I guess #but always on THIN FUCKING ICE

[rainbowbeanart]

How does Priscilla feel about the other members of the circus? Are there any members she considers to be a close friend?

Priscilla is closest with Charlotte and Marlon. Her relationship with Charlotte is flirty and romantic, and I hope to develop that more in the future. Her and Marlon are absolute BESTIES, and this ask gave me the perfect opportunity to sketch something I’ve had bouncing around my noggin for a while.

Just two besties grieving over their mysteriously dead husbands together 😂

#my art #clowder circus #furry art #cats #oc:priscilla #oc:marlon #contortionist #opera singer #husband died of mysterious circustances robe #sketch #thanks for the ask!

[fili-the-jester]

A moot of mine (@tabsters) asked about my LMK Circus AU, which gave me the motivation to write something about it.

The Circus Crew

Qi Xiaotian, (nickname: MK), isn’t a performer, but he hopes to be one. He is the artist who makes all of the circus posters and advertisements. He is the adoptive son of Pigsy and looks up to Sun Wukong as a role model due to his status as the Star of the Circus.

Long Xiaojiao, (stage name: Mei, the Dragon Horse Girl), is a member of the trick riding team. She used to be a part of a rich family (the Dragon Family) before she ended up joining the circus.

Sun Wukong, (stage names: The Monkey King and Great Sage Equal to Heaven), is the star of the circus show. He does an aerial silk/aerial hoop performance as well as a tightrope balancing act.

Macaque, (real name: Liu'er Mihou, Macaque is a shortened version of his stage name, The Six-Eared Macaque), head of trapeze team and one of the circus's best trapezists (and one of the first to be a part of the circus).

Rumble and Savage, (those are their stage names, with their real names being Haoyu and Zixin), are a twin act (much like Jin and Yin) who perform a tightrope/juggling act. They were originally orphans living on the streets and performing for money before they were brought into the circus by Macaque.

Jin and Yin, are a human cannonball act on top of being physical comedians.

Nezha, is a trapezist and a fire performer. He was the one who taught Red Son about fire performing and brought him into the circus in the first place.

Red Son, (real name: Hong Hai'er) is a member of the fire performers. He is the son of the Demon Bull Family and ran away from home to join the circus. His parents may be looking for him and this may cause trouble for the circus later down the line.

Kui Mulang, is one of the head dancer and does a duo act with Chang'e. He wears star-themed outfits when he performs.

Chang'e, is one of the head dancers and does a duo act with Kui Mulang. She wears lunar-themed outfits when she peforms.

Hou Yi, is a trick shooter and the husband of Chang'e. He used to perform in archery contests prior to joining the circus to be with Chang'e.

The Spider Queen, (real name: Zhilan), is a trapezist and an acro dancer. She is rather prideful and proud of her skills, to the point that she will boast about herself to the other performers.

The Huntsman, is a knife thrower.

Spindrax, (real name: Lirong), is a member of the trick riding team.

Sandy, the circus strongman act and the owner of Mo and the circus cats. One of the kindest members of the performance team.

Mo, one of the many circus cats and Sandy's therapy cat. The cats of the circus serve as performers in their own right and as "designated therapy cats" for the performers when things get particularly stressful.

Tang, is the financial manager of the circus.

Min, (Jin and Yin's Demon Accountant), is Tang's assistant and helps him deal with the finances and general management.

Pigsy, the cook of the circus and the adoptive father of Qi Xiaotain.

Syntax, is the equipment/special effects manager.

Tianli, (the Scorpion Queen), is the head of the makeup team.

Yaling, a member of the makeup and costume team. She is the girlfriend of Kui Mulang.

The Strong Spider, (real name: Qiang), is an equipment handler.

“Jiabeng”, (The (not) Mayor, does not currently have a stage name), is a contortionist. He makes everyone a bit uncomfortable and he straight up just appears out of nowhere sometimes.

The Lady Bone Demon (real name: Mu Xue), the ringmistress of the circus and a perfectionist when it comes to performances (not that you don’t want to put on a good show, but she takes it way too far)

Other Characters

Erlang Shen, a rich elite of society.

Princess Iron Fan, the mother of Red Son and the wife of Demon Bull King. A rich elite of society who runs the Demon Bull Family Industries alongside her husband.

Demon Bull King, the father of Red Son and the husband of Princess Iron Fan. A rich elite of society who runs the Demon Bull Family Industries alongside his wife.

Demon Bull Clones, the actual servants of the Demon Bull Family.

The Jade Vixen, one of the reasons for why the marriage of DBK and PIF have recently been on the rocks.

Some Stuff About LBD

None of the circus crew actually knows her real name and just refers to her as "The Boss" and "The Ringmistress".

Incorporates a bone theme into her attire (hence her title) and has various different outfits, but they all have the same theme.

Speaks and acts in a calm and clear way, but there is something underlying her tone, which is condescension.

Most if not all of the circus crew (minus Jiabeng) agree that she gives an "off" vibe and either become uneasy and/or uncomfortable around her.

Like with her real name, no one knows much about her past, which she keeps under lock and key.

Is a perfectionist and expects the absolute best from her performers at all times, even to their own physical and mental detriment.

Has a certain mentality about picking up "rejects" or those who are unable to find any other work and try and mold them into what she needs from them (even if that mold isn’t who the person is nor how negatively it may affect them).

Sun Wukong is the most "perfect" in her eyes. Refers to him as her "Champion."

She isn't above intimidating and outright hurting the performers or any part of the crew if they "act out of line" or don't adhere to her standards or just do something that she doesn't like.

Other Info

The circus is a traveling circus and travels to various places, some getting frequent visits and being usual places of performance.

It has similar elements to The Greatest Showman setting, though there may be a few modern aspects added to it.

Bai He is not a member of the circus, but she is a regular member of the audience whenever the circus visits her town. She brings her cat with her to the shows.

Rumble, Savage, Jin, and Yin form a group called "the Chaotic Quadruplets" by the other circus members.

Everyone looks like how they do in the show, with Sun Wukong and Macaque still being anthropomorphic monkeys. Though, some may have a few different things about their physical appearance (just me applying headcanons), along with different attire.

Sun Wukong and Macaque will sometimes perform a double trapeze act called "The Hero & The Warrior". Though, they don't do this in every show.

QXT has a crush on Red Son and tries to be subtle about it to varying degrees of success.

Rumble (Haoyu) and Savage (Zixin) are currently the youngest members of the circus crew, with Savage being the older twin.

LXJ and Spindrax have a sort of friendly rivalry.

Sun Wukong does have stage fright, but he does a few things to help himself deal with it.

Sun Wukong helps take care of the circus horses and is quite attached to them.

While DBK and PIF married for love, their marriage has been on the rocks as of late and hasn't been entirely smooth sailing even before that.

#fili jesting #lego monkie kid #lmk #lego monkie kid au #lmk au #lmk circus au #this got long #but I enjoyed writing this out :3

[elut-complex]

Music post

this is a photography/electronics account but I'm going to include some music.

These are (some) of my favorite groups/artists, albums and songs.

-----------

Ambience and noise:

Tim Hecker

Ryuichi Sakamoto

alva noto

Christina Kubisch

Dan Fröberg

Peter Kutin

Pharmakon

Throbbing Gristle

Nurse With Wound

Aaron Dilloway

Consumer Electronics

Brian Reitzell

Fav album: "Decomposition", Peter Kutin

Fav song: "The Cat's Dream", Christina Kubisch

------------

Jazz:

Alfa Mist

Sungazer

Pat Metheny

Mansur Brown

Fav album: "Bring Backs", Alfa Mist

Fav song: "Love Is The Message", Yussef Dayes, Alfa Mist, Mansur Brown

-------------

Rock and metal:

Tesseract

The Contortionist

Kayo Dot

Skyharbor

Animals As Leaders

Entheos

Karnivool

Karmanjakah

Monuments (earlier work)

Spiritbox

Red Vox

Fav album: "War Of Being", Tesseract

Fav song: "Language" I and II, The Contortionist

-------------

Hip Hop:

Freddie Gibbs

Denzel Curry

Pete Rock & C.L. Smooth

Knxwledge

Kendrick Lamar

JPEGMAFIA

T-Pain

Skepta

Wiz Khalifa

Fav album: "To Pimp A Butterfly", Kendrick Lamar

Fav song: "Stress Fracture", Mick Jenkins

------------

#music

[goldiloxnpaintedhands]

Extended write-up of my personals for those intrigued:

Cute little 30 yr girl. 4' 10", 130 lbs, green eyes, straight teeth, bangs, glasses, big tits, with curly blonde hair. dresses gothic pastel Japanese, listens to lil peep. model. studied fine arts. photography. dance. studied music. studied digital photography and black and white film photography. creative writing (fiction and non fiction). gymnastics. theater. cooking. sewing. esthetician research. certifications in adobe Photoshop, dream Weaver, and illustrator. dog training classes. Horseback riding trained English and western. Worked at the zoo!. Experienced in handling all animals. 

I like to surf I can do archery I can kayak I can canoe I can white water raft I can drive a boat. I can do pottery on the spinning wheel. I can blow glass. Contortionist levels of flexibility. Great core strength from being in sports my teenage hood. I can competitively swim, I've at least taken swim lessons a million times so I know all of the training.

I'm one of those little dorky smarty pants know it all girlies.  Nowadays my aesthetic is sundresses and bodysuits and the like (especially the two combined) crop tops, high rise shirts and skirts. Shawls. Different fabulous flower clad Cat ear adorned headband in my hair. Very chic . Japanese, blackpink, pastel, sakura, mother earth type of look. I played the clarinet. I drew and painted. I write fiction and nonfiction and poetry. I do photography digital and black and white film photography and I know how to develop it in the dark room, and gymnastics. And I love cooking. And I took psychology college courses in high school because I have a passion in that too. I can sew. And I have a green thumb I was just gardening outside taking care of my plantains. I'm about to start growing weed. And mushrooms. I can edit videos very well and I'm extremely tech savvy and I studied music, and I'm trained in the marching band so I'm trained in keeping rhythm and beat. 😁🤙🏻  hydroponic indoor plant gardening too!.

Lesser albeit mentionable knowledge of maths, I studied trigonometry in school. I have a basic yet reputable knowledge of chemistry, as I studied that as well as an honor student, as well as basic human biology, and marine biology (being the lesser of my expertise.) And I am trained in research in general as well. 

I've been to 13 states, 8 countries

https://linktr.ee/dollymaye

#bookworm #nutrition #about myself #plantlover #plant lady #plant lore #poetry #lil peep #music #sadgirl #sad boi shit #goth chick #goblincore #gaming #graphic design #graphic art #fae folk #goblin culture #mushroomcore #whimsicore #whimsigoth #japanese art #sakura #cherry blossom #big tiddy committee #big tiddy gf #big tiddy goth gf #nerdy girls #blondie #curly hair

[identitty-dickruption]

okay. inspired by @faggot-friday it is now officially autism story time

picture me circa 2013. a young, ten year old dyke. my hair is short. my jorts are long. my t-shirt is grubby as all heck. I’m at my grandma’s house for the summer with my sisters and cousins. so, as tradition dictates, time for a game of hide and seek!!

I’m quite good at this game when I can be bothered. childhood me could’ve been sold to the circus as a contortionist, and my autistic arse can spot a good hiding place a kilometre away. I’m definitely bothered on this particular occasion because I’m the second-youngest grandchild and I have something to prove

my oldest cousin counts down from thirty. I run. and run. and keep running. until I find a mysterious little door! ‘what’s this?’ I think. I can’t hear my cousin counting anymore, but I decide to take the gamble. and…

it’s a bunker! or a basement! I’m still not quite sure. but it’s small, and the door was similarly small and mysterious… so I curl up into a ball and I sit. and sit. and sit. for about four hours. nobody finds me, except for the cat, who looks at me through the little hole in the door for a little while

the end. thanks for listening etc etc

#story time

[meowmeowchapel]

the west wing, dead irish writers,sentence starter meme.

Passive-aggression is not gonna get me out the door any faster.

Boo boo, I gave up on getting you out the door in the late 70's.

Libertarianism has 14 letters not 15.

That! That's funny? The other 23 jokes weren't funny. Well, it's not that they weren't funny. It's just they weren't ha ha funny

See, I know it sounds like you're praising me, but…

Well, that was stupid.

Standing by your convictions isn't gonna get you anywhere.

Once more with the passive-aggressive.

I know you're scared. I'm very confident. So you be whatever you want.

Good to get that off your chest?

I'm like Gatsby, but without the problems.

I kind of wished you'd mentioned that before.

I haven't gotten credit for that yet.

Look, obviously, we knew this was gonna be a thing, but it doesn't have to be tonight, right?

I'm not an instigator.

I can say this about you. You can wear a tuxedo.

I know you know.

Because you know everything.

Keep blood off your shirt.

Is the champagne flowing as smoothly as the badinage? Are there elegant men and beautiful gowns?

What are you doing here?

Come with me. Come to the party.

You want me to get into it?

And now the student becomes the teacher, huh?

I just needed a little encouragement.

Good 'cause when you talk about it, you should sound like an idiot.

About the thing? You guys pulling a heist?

Come on. Let me in on the action. I can be a dame. I won't blow the whistle, get you cheesed.

It's my job to know.

Don't try and trick me.

You're trying to trick me.

I'm gonna be scared for the rest of the night.

You went over my head, and you did it behind my back.

Quite the contortionist, am I.

And the search for civilization continues.

If you pay close attention, stay very, very quiet, I can teach you how to spell it.

Listen. This is what I do. I get things fast.

You're not in any way a helpful person.

I like to win.

This is an excellent corkscrew. Just slides right in there like power steering. The right tool for the job.

I am developing a massive inferiority complex.

Yeah. Well, I'm on dangling modifier patrol.

Frankly, I'm not wild about cats. I don't hate them. I'm just not… I could learn to like them.

I could tell the story of the ditch digger.

In my house, anyone who uses one word when they could have used ten just isn't trying hard.

What is better than sitting down and talking?

Excuse me, but I'm so sorry about the way I spoke before.

You may kiss my cheek.

#rp sentence starter #sentence meme