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#my character was a half orc but is now part ogre
ghostcat3 · 1 year
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TW:Rape, Racism, War, Possible others I might have missed.
Arcanum and a direct take of Racism
May! An actual post from me. Never thought I would see it. Figure it was time. Never used tumblr to post something so sorry if the formatting it wrong. I am sure my one mutual can murder me for that.
Arcanum, a game made by the late Troika games who made such a classic as Vampire: the Masquerade bloodlines (Most likely gonna make a post about that game) and shovel ware such as the temple of elemental evil, which was good, but not really a narrative breakthrough in gaming now is it. They probably made other games, I know they were gonna make a fallout game but got outbid by Bethesda who made The Elder Scrolls Games (Definitely gonna make a post about that one). Troika games was rendered defunct as of February 24, 2004.
Arcanum which full name is Arcanum: Of Steamworks and Magick Obscura, but only losers on Reddit use the full name. I would like to take this time to do the polite thing and give my hopes and prayers out to the people of Ukraine, mainly because a person known online as Drog Black-Tooth is currently living there and is going through the war. (The patch is basically required to play the game smh)
Arcanum is a setting which is a blend of classic Tolkien-like fantasy and cool steampunk science (The science is better for the purposes of guns ((and the fantasy equivalent of racial supremacy)) ). The setting is completely based around this concept (sort of to the detriment to the actual characters of the game which I find are good ideas but due to needing to release the game on time often reach conclusions in judgement or skip parts of character arcs), the setting generally pulls from the time period of the industrial revolution.
Phew! We can finally actually talk about the topic in large text at the top! I mainly have two main ideas. Body paragraphs? Whatever’s to talk about. Starting with
Orcish Classism
In Arcanum, you can enter and come across factories. Walk in and out of enough of them you will notice something. Most if not all of the works... Are half-orcs. Instead of describing how the player does stuff to find out why, I will just skip straight to what is happening. The Half-Orcs are treated as the lowest class or people, thought of as too stupid or violent for anything else. You can even help then rebel which may eventually turn violent and people will blame your character for inciting what they will call the event “The Orc Riots”. The citizens viewpoint on the Half-Orcs are actually unfounded, as you can play a Half-Orc and be pretty smart... Time for point two.
The Half-Ogre Conspiracy, or how I learned that systemic racism is the best racism.
Time for the lore point that all the people who played Arcanum was screaming at me about. There exists Half-Ogres in the game, playable as a character preset, the rising amount of Half-Ogres is described as odd as even if a normal ogre forced themselves onto a woman, the ogre would then most likely just... Kill and eat the woman. Which makes the large amount being born so strange along with the fact that they seem to always be around gnomes. You get a quest to investigate this by some guy whose name I forgot until you arrive at Half-Ogre Island where you find blood, cages and a journal describing what they were doing. See the gnomes being as smart as they are... Are small. So the other races starting stealing inventions or violently beating them up until the gnomes worked for them. Being tired of being mistreated they discovered they tried enslaving ogres for breeding purposes. It did not work. The ogres were to aggressive and could not understand most commands. Then they realized they can breed humans and ogres and make Half-Ogres. Originally half-ogre births caused deaths for the mother, as the process began to be more refined, multiple births became possible. They began kidnapping female royal family members and putting them through process. When you learn of this you can go to a reporter and give him the journal to report this. He never does. Some people on the forums believe that he was a plant for the conspiracy, I personally find that hard to believe due to the fact that he is human. I believe the conspiracy killed him, as he is never found again in game and the island is cleared out of all proof of the conspiracy. Leaving you and the people involved in the conspiracy the only ones in the know. You can talk to a member of the conspiracy, he admits you the player could stop this plot, but it would require total dismantling and destruction of the government, their plot runs too deep, and you don’t have the time to do that needing to save the world and all. I will leave this section with a quote from the conspiracy member. “The queen birthed three until she died”
It is now time to connect this post to my second statement in my title “and a direct take of racism”. As I play games, I find that most racial topics in other games are ultimately hidden under the veil of allegory and metaphor, and when used right this could be even more powerful then just outright talking about it, but most don’t use this to its advantage. For example, a personal favorite dragon age. Tell me how the hell the mage circle makes sense. What are the sub-factions (Fraternities as they are called in the game) in the circle such as Loyalists, etc (Watch someone who understands the lore read this post a response clearly and concisely and invalidates this example). Arcanum is refreshing because it talks about the innate classism of races, a systemic prejudice of race. Other buzzwords. That is why I chose to talk about this. (Arcanum isn’t even my favorite game, Oblivion better)
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frink-o-matic · 3 years
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I am now my party’s wrecking ball. I am now the Red Hulk.
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I am absolutely BAFFLED by the D&D community's response to the recent addition to wheelchaired characters and wheelchair accessable dungeons.
In the following essay, I will explain why i think it is a steaming pile of bullshit:
1. All the complaints I'm seeing are from abled people. A bit curious that I have yet to see any disabled people complaining about the inclusion.
I've seen a lot of disabled people commenting that all the ABLED people complaining about the inclusion makes them feel guilty, awkward and otherwise UNCOMFORTABLE and less likely to ask for said new wheelchair content be put into their next campaign/character.
Which is bogus.
2. Abled people complaining that it's "unrealistic"
Yeah, so is a litteral roleplaying game in a fantasy setting. What's that? Your mythical fae race character who utilizes magic as a weapon doesnt like a fantasy in which wheelchair ramps exist in dungeons and shit?
Are you the pot or the kettle here, hombré? Nice double standard.
N O T .
3. Abled people complaining that it's "Pandering"
Say what, Buttercup?
For a second there, it sounded like you were complaining about a Dungeon Master or otherwise table top game industry making elements of the game that scale according to the players therein.
Well, in that case
guess you wont be needing this
*Tears pages about CR of PHB and monster manuals*
and from now of, all the loot dropped by enemies or otherwise found in dungeons is just gonna be RANDOM. COMPLETELY.
Your party is an elf, gnome, warforged and a aarokocra? Too fucking bad you gave that dragon what-for and all it dropped was this here armor that can only be worn by a fucking OGRE, this weapon that can only be attuned to by a HALF-ORC and this circlet that can only be worn by a PIXIE.
I'D LOVE TO JUST RE-SPEC IT ALL, I REALLY WOULD, BUT
*throws it all in trash*
I WOULDNT WANT TO FUCKING
P A N D E R
TO YOUR FUCKING
e n t i t l e d
a b l e i s t
b u t t.
I would say more, but honestly, i want to be in a good mood, so Imma stop.
* edit:
It has been brought to my attention that there are concerns that certain DMs may try to push wheelchair-bound players to play wheelchair-bound characters.
Yeah, that might happen. Let's talk about that:
1. Not cool. DMs should N O T force players to play any particular race/class/abled or unabled character. Ever.
Saying "It would be cool if...". Yeah, there's some layers to that, lets address that.
1.1 I get it if you get excited about this new content and inclusion and want to be an ally, so you might do that. Please try to not to. Please.
1.2 You probably meant well, but what if you were a player in a campaign, i was the DM and you wanted to play ... let's say, a character that is some other gender or sexuality than you are. And then I go "but you're ______. Dont you want to play a character that's also ________?"
Maybe D&D came out with LGBTQ+ community specific content. Sure, you might be excited and feel like you want to include them and support them, but do you see how that can come across as insensitive?
The road to hell is paved with good intentions, compadré.
2. DMs shouldn't make their players make any choices in character creation.
That's butts.
Character creation is one of the funnest (imo) parts of D&D. Dont strip that away from them. No matter what.
Try instead of "You should play _____"
• They just came out with this new content and I'm excited to try it out!
• I have this homebrew content I made that I'm really excited to test out/use, and it's specifically for _____, so it would be cool if someone in thr party played _____.
• I think ______ could be really useful in this campaign, so it could be wise for someone to chose ______.
• I'm really familiar with ______ so if anyone would play that, it'd be cool for me to work with.
See how none of that targets a specific person and comes across as less aggressive and insensitive?
3. Not everyone wheelchair-bound is gonna be excited about this new content and want to try it out. Some might play an abled character as a way of vicariously living the alternate life of their own. Some may think it's kick-ass and wanna explore how they could trick out or otherwise modify said fantasy wheel-chair or use spells on it to do some cool OP stuff.
WHO KNOWS?
THEY DO.
NOT ME, NOT YOU.
T H E M
So let's be chill, cats.
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nightbringer24 · 3 years
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Oathmark: Battlesworn and Oathmark: Oathbreakers.
So I have the two new supplements for Oathmark. Both are very different things, and they each add their own unique thing to the base game.
Battlesworn:
Battlesworn... while it’s a supplement, I feel it’s more of a supplement that works best if you’re playing a campaign and unique missions outside of the ones presented in the main book.
The main draw with Battlesworn is that, during the course of a campaign you can give units that perform exceptionally well in combat battle honours. Now, it seems like a little gimmick thing to make them more unique, and it is. To start with. But, as you give your unit more battle honours, up to three, you increase their points costs by 10% (rounded to the nearest whole number) for the unit, but not including characters like champions (so, by the example in the book, a unit of 19 Elven Spearmen is 418 points. If you give them a battle honour, that increase to 460 points, a second battle honour increases their points costs to 506, and a third increases that to 557). This makes them expensive, but each battle honour they have means they can reroll activation rolls, attack rolls, morale rolls, etc., so you can keep them in the fight longer. 
Battlesworn also adds to the game which, again, work best as being used in a more linear campaign: engineers and boats. Being a unit of 5 to 10 models, engineers allow an army to build fortifications on the field, destroy enemy fortifications and to also build temporary river crossings. A boat... is a boat, though they’re only split between two types: small (3-man crew) and large (4-man crew). At the most, a boat can hold two units, so for a example a large boat can hold a 20 man unit of archers and a catapult, while a small boat can hold a captain and a spellcaster. Again, these are definitely more in use with campaign games though you can come up with unique stand alone missions with them. You can do stuff like attack from the boat to land via a landing force, or just fire arrows or catapults from the boat to shore, or even boat-to-boat combat.
The main thing with Battlesworn is that it expands on the campaign setting with three unique military expeditions that follow more a story settings. With three options to choose from: exploring an ancient temple, securing a magical flower on a mystical island in a giant lake and a battle in a cavern supposedly filled with gold behind a waterfall, each expedition, split between three parts, with endings that are dependent on who wins (it’s hard to explain in this format with straight up copying each text), and each expedition you win gives you the territory the expedition was sent to to add to your areas in Region 5 of the territory list, and then each territory gives you benefits.
As you’d expect, you also get extra spells for each race and there’s also new aquatic creatures to go with the supplement too. Admittedly though, there’s nothing wholly amazing to say about them, but I’d love to see a picture of a ‘mammoth freshwater shark... with tusks... and is constantly emaciated’ just to see what that would look like.
Oathbreakers:
In a game that lets gamers play with elves, dwarves, orcs and goblins, and dragons and ogres and trolls alongside humans in a fantasy setting, it only seems right that the Undead be feature in it. And Oathbreakers delivers it, not just for use in simple single games but also in campaigns too.
Like the base races, each unit in the Undead roster has their own territory they are recruited from in a campaign that you add to your kingdom with each successive victory.
The army list for the Undead is as follows, and like my original Oathmark army lists post here, I’ll be including the name of the region each unit comes from and any unit marked with a * means you can only have that unit if your capital is this piece of terrain during a campaign, and again, you can only have one general in your army.
Undead:
Revenant King* - Necropolis
Revenant Prince* - Necropolis
Revenant General* - Necropolis, Cursed Burial Ground
Revenant Captain - Necropolis, Cursed Burial Ground
Revenant Champion - Necropolis, Cursed Burial Ground, Catacombs
Revenant Warrior - Catacombs
Revenant Linebreaker - Catacombs
Revenant Cavalry - Sepulchre
Revenant Chariot - Mausoleum
Necromancer* - Cursed Burial Ground(Levels 1-5), Dark Towers (Levels 1-3)
Skeletal Champion - Necropolis, Cursed Burial Ground, Mausoleum
Skeletal Soldier - Necropolis, Cursed Burial Ground
Skeletal Spearmen - Necropolis, Cursed Burial Ground
Skeletal Archer - Necropolis, Cursed Burial Ground
Ghoul -  Graveyard
Skeletal Light Catapult - Tomb
Skeletal Ballista - Tomb
Wraith - Barrows
Corpse Fire - Ash Wastes
Vampire - Crypt
Barrow Worm - Endless Tunnels
So, just going from the list, you get a lot of horrible, nasty ghoulish fighters to add to your army. As all of these units fall under the Undead rule, which means that they pass all morale tests, also when they are hit with attacks from units with bows, after your determine how many arrows hit, you half that number, rounding down. Also, all the Undead units, barring the Necromancer, have the Uncaring special rule, which means that if the unit is in combat and must make a morale test, it automatically passes, however, it takes additional damage equal to each full -2 modifier to the morale test, such as being hit from the sides, larger number of casualties, etc. A lot of the units also have the Unthinking special rule, which means that you only need 1 dice to roll to activate them instead of the regular 2, however, if they’re in range of a unit with the Command rule, then it’s increased to 2.
Using Undead in armies alongside the living is definitely a thing that you can do in Oathmark. In fact, the setting kind of promotes it. Even the description of the rulebook on the North Star Figures website sells it as such:
Some armies will use dark magic to summon the souls and corpses of traitors from the past, while others will recall the spirits of loyal warriors that gave their lives and willingly fight again.
And Undead units can definitely serve as a lynchpin in an army, though because they are undead, they suffer some drawbacks to using them in an integrated army, especially one where it’s the living lead by an undead character. Not huge drawbacks, but noticeable, mainly in that living units cannot receive morale or activation rolls from Undead characters. No-one likes following a corpse...
But people do like following grand and powerful heroes into battle, and in Oathbreakers, you get the ability to turn any unit in your army into Legendary Units. Essentially, if you think a unit or model has done particularly well in your campaign, and you follow the points given in the Oathbreakers supplement, you can turn them into Legendary Heroes by assigning them Heroic Traits. This can be something like giving a spellcaster Arcane Knowledge (the spellcaster can cast any spell from its spell list, even if the figure does not know the spell), a captain a Signal Horn (the figure’s command range increases to 14 inches for one turn when attempted to activate additional units), or a unit of spearmen Stand Your Ground (whenever the unit or figure is forced to make a morale test, the unit/figure automatically passes the morale test). There’s even bits about what you can do if your Legendary Hero is captured, wounded, or killed.
Again, like Battlesworn, Oathbreakers contains Military Expeditions to go on to expand your kingdom and your kingdoms army resources, wealth and territory. And the new territory list included in the supplement are designed to compliment the Battlesworn and Legendary Heroes. All of these are more mystical than the ones in Battlesworn, revolving heavily around encounters with the Undead and also places that are magical in nature and have bonuses for healing wounded heroes, increasing the range of archers, or strengthening the resolve of your armies.
--
And that’s all I have to say about the supplements for Oathmark, Battlesworn and Oathbreakers.
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dorkyungsoowrites · 4 years
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Exo in Dungeons and Dragons AU
Part of my crackhead saga in where I imagine the Exo members as characters in different universes they don’t belong in for no reason other than fun.
| Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 |
So everyone knows how the first character you play as in D&D is meant to be most like yourself, right? Well, I present to you:
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"Exo's first characters if they ever played feat. Things That Actually Happened In My Campaigns™
Minseok: 
A Tabaxi Bard. Probably went into great detail describing the color and pattern of his character's fur during introduction. He wants to use magic but also flirt with everything. Since he can charm with ease of music, he's done quite well...he just needs the dice to agree with him. Takes extensive notes during sessions. The name of the merchant's daughter from three quests ago? Ava. She's afraid of not living up to her potential.
Went out alone to seduce a Manticore with song at level 2, failed the roll, was one-shotted into unconsciousness, and almost died.
Junmyeon: 
A Half-Elf Cleric cause even in games he's just running around as healing support for all the dumbassery the others pull. He needs to be blessed more than the rest of the party honestly, and if you piss him off and get killed he may or may not pray to his god to resurrect your character.
Was bitten by a werewolf and is secretly turning evil. Has killed an innocent man without the party noticing. Won't tell the party cause he thinks it's cool.
Yixing: 
An Elf Druid. Got overwhelmed with choices when creating his character and stress chose because he saw druids could shapeshift into cute animals. Stacks his dice into a tower when it's not his turn. Does literally all the damage. It's stupid damage. Carries party members on his back as a direwolf because he likes being a puppy.
Advocated not to kill every slightly evil person the party comes across, but was ignored. Ripped an ogre's head from its shoulders anyway.
Baekhyun: 
Was really eyeing the Dragonborn, but wanted to be an awesome rogue and chose Half-Elf instead for the ability boost. He's the murder hobo no one likes cause he gets the entire party in trouble and possibly killed. And he'll laugh the entire time. Starts wearing cosplay to sessions, beginning with a cloak for dramatic effect.
Cannot stab anything when anyone is watching. Kept missing during a fight, had the other players turn around for his next attack, and killed the thing. The players now look away when he rolls to do something cool.
Chanyeol: 
Dragonborn Sorcerer. Almost went with Dwarf just for the beard, but couldn't resist fire breath. As soon as he's high enough level it's nothing but fireballs. The others are fairly certain at this point he's just doing it to see how long he can before getting himself killed. Voices a lot of plans. He never said they were good plans, but they're plans.
Killed literally 4 guys at once then hit nothing the rest of the day, but wouldn't shut up about the 4.
Jongdae: 
Gnome Bard. Tries to break the stigma that bards want to fuck everything, but is so bad at deception that it actually gets the party into more trouble. Has three pretty dice sets and will only use the one he deems looks nicest that day.
Disguised himself as an Orc with the rogue to infiltrate an Orc base, got through the doors, surrounded by enemies, and was questioned by the Orc leader.
It was in this moment Jongdae remembered he does not speak Orc.
Kyungsoo: 
Changeling Bard. Doesn't care there are too many bards in the party; he saw "vicious mockery" and knew his destiny. Uses his shapeshifting to create aliases and sneak around with the rogue, instigating the ensuing hijinks. A little too good at roleplaying. Now collects dice he thinks are pretty. It's not a problem, he can stop buying the shiny math rocks at any time.
While staying at a lodge, he became convinced the owner was going to kill the party in the morning. So he snuck to the stables and shapeshifted into the stable boy. The boy? A 10 year old mute who was magically coerced into hiding by someone who looked like himself and is now scarred for life.
The party was not attacked and Kyungsoo traumatized a child for nothing.
Jongin: 
Elf Ranger. Has, "what would Legolas do?" written on his character sheet. Keeps trying to adopt every NPC he likes. Plays with fidget toys to help stay focused.
Went along with a cult plot for shits and giggles and accidentally became the new cult leader.
Sehun: 
Human Fighter. Just wants to hit things with a sword and eat snacks. Always borrows a set of dice from another player.
Missed literally everything for 4 hours, and at the end, the one shot he hit killed the BBEG everyone else had weakened. He was very proud.
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gamesmasternotes · 4 years
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I’m getting all of my notes together, because come 2020 I will be running a D&D campaign which will likely be a long running one - Dragonlance!
THis is one of my favourite settings, as I remember reading the old novels by Margaret Weis and Tracy Hickman when I was very young. I can probably credit them with the first tiny spark in my soul which eventually became a fully fledged tabletop roleplay and D&D enthuasiast. So having the chance to go back to them and run the original Chronicles story - the opening trilogy in what became hundreds of novels in the setting - is fantastic.
This is the basic briefing on the world I’ve so far given my players:
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THE WAR OF THE LANCE takes place in ANSALON, a continent on the world of KRYNN. The world's major gods are the High God and his children: good Paladine, neutral Gilean, and evil Takhisis, opposed by Chaos, who seeks to destroy Krynn. Evil chromatic and the good metallic dragons are things of legend, and tied to the gods as divine beings. Humans are Krynn's most common humanoid race, but Elves, Dwarves, Kender, Gnomes, and Minotaurs occupy the world as well. Clerics derive magical powers from their gods, and wizards derive their power from the three moon gods.
At this point in history, it has been three hundred years since the Cataclysm obliterated the great empire of Istar and changes the entire surface of Krynn. The Age of Despair followed, during which the gods were entirely absent, having left behind the world they felt had abandoned and shunned them. The disrespect of the Kingpriest went on, ignoring the thirteen warnings sent, convinced by his own hubris that only he – a mortal – could defeat evil.
The gods sent a “fiery mountain” to completely destroy Istar and the Kingpriest, the impact shattering other areas of Ansalon, drowning some areas and raising new mountains. Following that, contact with the gods was cut off entirely.
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The group I’m running for are currently neck-deep in a long Call of Cthuluhu game, just stepping in to what I’ve been told is the third and final act of Horror on the Orient Express, which is why I’m making sure my notes are together now and ready to go next year. It gives me time to go over my plans and make sure of what I’ve got and what needs adapting. Anyone with Dragonlance experience is of course welcome to offer advise, but the crux here is that the last time the setting had rulkes was D&D 3rd edition. We want to play 5th. So some adaptations need to be made.
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If you’re actually one of my players, this is where you should STOP reading.
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As the narrative of Chronicles goes, five years ago a group of friends would frequent the Inn of the Last Home in the treetop city of Solace. Having adventured together for some time and grown weary of the actions of those serving the new religions since the Cataclysm, they made a pact to separate. Each would take a different path and travel Ansalon searching for some sign of the true gods, agreeing to meet back in that inn five years later.
I plan to start my party at Lv5, as brand new characters of their own devising. They will completely replace the Innfellows in the narrative of the War of the Lance, starting the game with their return to the Inn of the Last Home after their five year journey. My plan is that the world will exist as though the classic set of characters never existed. After their original encounters and the introduction of the Blue Gem Staff, the party will be visited by none other than Raistlinn Majere. He will explain that HE has erased his own cohort from history, because they FAILED to defeat the Darkness. As such, he has twisted time using forbidden magics to give another group of characters a chance to succeed.
Its quite a twisting of the ending of the Chronicles trilogy, and I should point out for those who have read other books in the series that I am basing this SOLELY on the mythology of the Chronicles trilogy (so assuming Legends, etc has not happened yet).
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In order to make it work of course, some changes need to be made. Dragonlance, the world of Krynn, the continent of Ansalon, are not the same as Faerun, Eberron, etc. Different races have prominance, others are more common than in other places, and some are outright unheard of (because they didn’t exist in D&D at the time Dragonlance was being written and developed). So in terms of races, these are the changes being made:
The most common races, those developed more in the stories, are Humans (Civilized and Nomadic, Elves (Qualinesti, Silvanesti and Kagonesti), Dwarves, Gnomes, Kender (Halflings), Centaurs and Minotaurs.
Rare but accessible races in clude Half-Elves and Half_Ogres (Firbolgs and Goliaths).
Very rare races, with my apporval only, include Kyrie (Aaracokra), Phaethons (Aasimar) and Thanoi (Loxodons).
Races I’ve banned outright, because they are to be used as purely evil or isolationist races, include Dargonesti  (Sea-Elves and Tritons), Ogres, Orcs, Half-Orcs, Goblins, and Hobgoblins.
I have also banned Dragonborn, Lizardfolk and Kobolds as player races, because there will exist only as the evil Draconian race.
Other races which are never mentioned in the Dragonlance stories (as far as I know) are a tricky question I haven’t addressed yet. I’ll probably base my decision on them on whether someone can come up with an interesting concept for them in the game world. These are of course the Tieflings, Gith, Genasi, Changelings, Kenku, Kalashtar, Tabaxi, Shifter, Yuan-Ti, Warforged and Tortles.
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Some alterations also need to be made to character classes before we begin, as some are represented very differently within the world of Dragonlance, and need addressing.
Mostly everything can stay the same, the key difference being however a complete lack of Divine Magic at the start of the story.
As Chronicles begins, the gods do not grant power to any beings on Krynn. The restoration of that link is part of what the Chronicles story is about - finding the old gods and trying to get them to come back, and dealing with the one or two who already have.
As such, I’m putting in the rule that as the story begins, no Cleric or Paladin has Spellcasting, or any other healing ability. The exception of course, will be if one characters WANTS to play a Cleric, then they will find themselves as the chosen wielder of the Blue Gem Staff, the first artifact of the gods to be seen on Krynn in three hundred years, which LETS them use their class spellcasting ability. This helps kick the party into the narrative too.
As part of this though, I’m making the world a little harsher. There is a point in the story at which Divine Magic does return should the party choose to do as the original Innfellows did and make it happen (at Xak Tsaroth). However I am ruling that no spellcaster can use any healing or divine-influenced spells until this event occurs (or something like it at least).
As part of that, seeing as there are no gods and no truly god-like beings on Krynn, I’m ruling that no levels can be taken in the Warlock class until this event occurs (because there are no beings around to be a Patron other than the central villain of the narrative!).
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The final note in my planning is based in Paladins, which I think need a full re-flavouring. My intention is that Paladins will stand-in as the Knightly Orders of Ansalon, very intentionally to allow something special should somoene wish to affiliate with the Knights of Solamnia (such as Sturm Brightblade in the novels). I think the concept stands well for them, and makes the Knights more than just Fighters. The spellcasting part of the class makes it a bit weird though, which is what I think needs adjusting to make it fit. I think the Healing restriction I already mentioned will help itigate it, but I will likely have to strip down the spell list for Paladins and maybe replace a few spells entirely with new ones. This way I can make every spell they have more of a martial ability than an explicit spell, which would work nicely for the Knights of Solamnia. I might even be able to flavour each new rank in a Paladin’s Oath as rising to a new Order within the Knights.
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I’m very interested to know what other people think, and waht advice they’d give based on this framework. People with better knowledge than I might be able to offer new ways to address a few of the alterations I’ve made, and hopefully I’ll have it all organized in a good, structured way and ready for when the game begins next year.
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vallonde-laid-bare · 6 years
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Something special for you all today.
I tend to map out most of my major encounter areas like this and post them after they’ve been conquered so my players can get a better mental picture of where they’ve been and the things they’ve done. This are in particular has some sentimental value to the group because this is where our first character death happened.
The scene: The party is exploring the personal library of a legendary wizard in an attempt to stop or at least slow the spread of a magical illness that has been plaguing a nearby town. They’ve stumbled upon some cultists who are taking advantage of an open planar gate to perform a ritual. The cult is one that the players have been dealing with since very early in the campaign, so there is already history here, and animosity on both sides.  The group had managed to discover that the illness affecting the town was being caused by open portals in the library releasing extra planar energy that’s acting almost like radiation to living creatures, mutating them or causing them to fall ill. They’d closed all of the portals in the complex and have traced the leaking energy to the final portal hidden in a cave system underneath the library proper. After fighting their way to the end of the tunnel system they realized that they weren’t the first ones when they were met with chanting voices. Hiding at the mouth of the cavern, they took a moment to observe the ritual which I was very proud of them for because they usually just rush dick first into every encounter regardless of context. The apparent leader of the cultists dropped her robes to the floor at the height of the ceremony and began slowly walking toward the portal as the chanting was reaching a crescendo. I had decided I would let everyone take one action before she made it to the gate, but I didn’t want to prompt them to do so and give away that this was an important moment so I played it cool and asked them what they were doing. The only character who decided to attempt to interfere was the kenku rogue who shot an arrow at the woman. Unfortunately he rolled poorly and the cultists were alerted to their presence, causing the woman to sprint toward the portal. She leapt through and the party readied themselves for a fight with the remaining 4 cultists.
This is where things started going downhill.
Soon, the portal ring began to tremble and everyone was all eyes and something began to emerge from the gate. A leg, thick, chitinous, and prodigious. Then a second, and a third as a massive body drags itself into the room. Within seconds, a massive insect-like creature was filling part of the room from floor to 15 ft ceiling, and it didn’t look friendly. The cultists apparently weren’t prepared for this and one of them began screaming at the sight of the monster. A bad move it would seem at the thing quickly honed in on the noise and made for them, stomping it’s heavy legs and neatly pulverizing the hapless cultists in seconds. You should have seen the look on the group’s faces, it was fantastic.  And so began a quick conversation amongst themselves about whether they were just going to get the fuck out of there and leave the town to its doom. Two of them wanted to bolt while three of them had vague ideas of some ill-defined plan, so the party became split while facing what was undoubtedly the most powerful enemy they’d yet to encounter. Ascertaining quickly that the creature was blind and was tracking them by sound and vibration, the kenku began a campaign of hit-and-run tactics with a bow to distract it while two of the others, a lizardfolk bloodhunter and a kitsune paladin, went to close the portal. Lucky for them, they succeeded, and the mission was complete. Unfortunately, they had to make a lot of noise to accomplish the task, and the bug-monster turned its attention to them.  It was at the point that the last two members of the group (half-orc tempest cleric and half-ogre fighter), who were still standing a little back from the entrance and contemplating leaving, decided to make their return. Together with the kenku they drew the creature’s attention away from the lizard and the fox and toward the entrance of the cavern which it actually started tearing open to allow it to get to the members of the group that were harassing it just out of reach. Desperate the be out of the room and reunite with the rest of the group in the relative safety of the tunnels beyond the cavern, lizard and fox came up with a second death-defying plan: They would weave between the pounding rear-legs and tearing fore-legs of the monster and then they could all gtfo. I ruled it would require either athletics or acrobatics to avoid being trampled and then an attack from the creature with disadvantage because it was still busy tearing away at the walls which were now almost sheared away enough for it to advance. The lizard made it, but the fox wasn’t so lucky. Ritsuko, our voice of reason and party leader, managed to artfully weave through the gauntlet of pistoning legs but was reduced to a smear on the cavern floor by a blind swing, and it was honestly a little emotional. Take his player’s word for it:
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(Note: The players like the make fun of the names of the character and NPCs by purposely saying them wrong, so Ritsuko often got called ricotta. Group inside joke)
Even with this unfortunate death, the group still managed to lay the insect-monster low and mostly escape with their lives. The town was saved and the party got some loot and a great story out of it. As a DM, these are the moments I live for, getting to orchestrate and share in emotional moments with my friends and the friends they’ve created.
I know that was long and a bit rambling, and if you’ve made it this far I applaud your diligence in deciphering my messy story telling. I know most of the people who follow this blog are here for the homebrew, but Vallonde is more than just its rules. Its the characters that exist in that world, the places they go, the things they do, and the people who play them. Players make the game, not the other way around, and I think that’s something that we as DMs forget too often.
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dungeons-and-danis · 6 years
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time for some session updates
We had our last session recently and it was INTENSE. Lots of story driven roleplaying and high emotion scenes, as well as two solo instances, as I like to call them. Basically, we do like Critical Role and ask all but a one or two people to leave the table for an individualized roleplay experience.
For reference:
Syndra is our drow rogue
Aurra is our half elf barbarian
Amnestria is our dragonborn sorcerer disguised as a human with magic
Zenirith is our tiefling paladin
Bobby is our wood elf life cleric
Ash is our NPC human bard/cleric multiclass
But what we have so far, i’m gonna place under a cut
Syndra discovers she has a newfound power (of which i have to be vague about because my players follow this blog) and begins to bond with an apprehensive Aurra over similarities in their pasts
Syndra and Aurra spot a familiar orc from Aurra’s past emerging from the cave of the orc who’s throat Aurra slit last session.
They eventually tie him up and question him after a long battle with him, four orcs, and an ugly ogre who shouts
They find out through a conversation in orcish this orc’s clan was hired by prophet named Nirnasha who belongs to a shadowy religious cult that worships a once dead war goddess named Apollyon to kidnap Aurra’s teacher for “getting too close to things he shouldn’t have”
Eventually, the orcs comments that you just killed his entire family. syndra responses “now you know what it feels like” and quickly slaughter him
The party moves on to find Agatha, a spectre who is very knowledgable and offers to answer one question truthfully after the party successfully shows her enough respect and persuasion.
They ask where the key to open Apollyon’s bible is (which Halia, an Apollyon cultist, gave them after the party talked her down from a hostage situation last session, but her lips were magically sealed to prevent her from speaking)
They are told the key is at the end of Wave Echo Cave, their final destination
The party then moves on and find a natural hot spring. But before they can jump in, their NPC companion, Ash, challenges them to a sparring match and positively kicks their ass via powerful spells and lots of psychic taunts with vicious mockery
Ash lectures the group on their weaknesses, the main of which being that none of they know each other all that well. The party then agrees to get to know one another as they all jump in the hotspring (everyone except bobby, our only guy character lol)
Amnestria whips out a flask and everyone drinks and goes around the circle revealing facts about themselves
Eventually, Amnestria and Aurra get out only to realize that they both have a half of a necklace that belonged to a long dead mutual friend of theirs, killed by King Stormwind, Aurra’s father.
Aurra, previously admitting to being the long lost daughter of the empire that Amnestria lead a rebellion against, is puzzled when Amnestria is angry over her ownership of the necklace. So she uses firebolt and burns both the necklaces to smithereens
Aurra clobbers Amnestria and begins punching her over and over again, attracting the rest of the part as everyone CONSECUTIVELY FAILS their strength rolls to hold her back as Aurra is ridiculously strong with a strength of 17 and a bonus in athletics.
Ash eventually casts hold person on her and breaks up the fight. She also casts mending and fixes the necklaces, commenting that we should hold onto things of importance to us, as they give us reason to fight.
However, despite many lectures, the two do not make up yet. But of course, there will come a time and place.
And thats mostly it tbh. It’s hard to get out the intensity of the situation and how well my players roleplayed everything, but they did such an amazing job. I only wish I was capable of recording a nice looking video of my sessions for yall to see. But alas, all I have at my disposal is some descriptions. ;u;
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deadromance619 · 5 years
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Ratchettee
Hey, is this thing on?
What do you mean it's not recording?
No I'm not going to write my life story down, the only thing I'm writing is my payment contract. Do you know how long that would take?
Oh, you're going to write it down, I'm I paying you for this?
You're going to do it for free, sheesh, well I'm getting a cut if my story makes it big, maybe people could finally see the greatness of Ratchettee I'll try not to bend the truth to much.
Wait, did you just write that down?
Well stop!
Okay, throw away everything I've said so far.
I know I'm not paying you.
What kind of idiot going to wanna read this?
You just wrote that down too didn't you?
Okay let just get this back on track my name is Ratchettee to my nana or Ratchet from my friends, yeah like the town. An as you might of guessed I'm a goblin, HEY ARE THERE ANY VISUAL AIDS IN THIS THING?!
What do you mean you don't know, aren't you the author?
I'm going be on the front cover of the book right?
I thought this book was about me?
You mean there are others?
Yeah but I didn't meet up with those guys until way later, I mean a lot of stuff happened before I met with Jaundace and his boys, boy were those guys some characters.
Fine jeez, I'll try to speak more visually but I'm not making any promises, now where was I. Oh right, I'm a goblin, I have green skin, my hair is white, I'm 22, and nice people say I'm a rogue and not so nice will call me a thief. But I'm nether, what I really am is a cook and maybe an aspiring chef. While most of my kin think technology is the best way to profit. I know that the best smelling herbs and spices and freshest ingredients is the best way to get a person to open there gold purse. I remember when I was just a kid goblin I tasted my first 5 star meal I knew that this was how I was going to take a bite out of the world. An even as a kid if I made something that tasted terrible but at least looked good I would sit and watch them choke that foul meal down without complaint.
Okay there something you should know about goblin breeding. Goblins are made kind how you imagine, I mean just because were born green that doesn't mean were not mammals, I've heard of some cross breeding with orcs and humans, not gnomes though. Ew, I'll give you a second to get that thought out of your head.
Nana's do the hazardous and life threating job of taking care of goblin babies, you see the first second when a goblin is born there as wild and feral and as a cat with rabies, so we throw them in a dark hole in the ground and lock them up during the day, try to block out all light, and throw food down there so they can eat, and yes if you do fall into this hole they will try to eat you, even if you're a goblin, and even if you're the mother. But they won't eat each other, I always wondered about that, well not all of us anyways. I heard of some sick goblin tribes wouldn't feed the baby goblins and they would actually be forced to eat each other. At night we put a latter down in the hole with a fire going. The baby goblins climb up the latter and they stare into the fire until the morning. If the goblin is still feral he will go back into his hole where he or she came from, if he or she is not he or she might try to go outside and look at the sun. That's where nana's come in, they start breast feeding for a few weeks, introducing tools and toys, but some of them are still feral and a nana needs to be able defend herself if a feral goblin tries to attack her with some of the tools she had gave to him or her to try to expand his or her mind. But I think I must have crawled into a feeding larder because I think I just wanted to eat good food or food that tasted or smelled good. Maybe there was a restaurant not too far from where I was raised because me being a goblin I'm not too interested in building or tinkering with hazardous explosives like my kin. Not that cooking doesn't pose its dangers, I mean it does. I mean I remember this one time this human got half his body covered in burning olive oil, I mean boy was that funny. I mean you know what they say, "You can't take the heat get out of the kitchen."
But I think working in a kitchen made me value something a little bit more than money. I cook, I create and I'm incredibly excited by what I do, and I feel I could do so something much more and while my kin might be tinkering with dangerous mechanics, nearly losing limbs I was usually making something that would make cooking things a little faster. Okay, maybe I cut a few corners, and let say maybe on some level I was responsible for that hot oil spill, but I'm not one to cry over spilled milk, I'm too busy looking for the next cow.
So I was raised near the most southern parts of the Eastern Kingdoms in the jungles of Stranglethorn Vale by the Venture Company and I cooked a lot of raptor eggs. At least that what I got started with, we hunted a lot of raptors. There meat was pretty good at the time but I look back on it now and to this day I would think it was a somewhat tough meat to chew. I had a lot of work beating this meat with hammers and when a high class customer came into my kitchen to eat I would prepare a more tender raptor , so I got kind of good at beating meat…
Shut up, I can see you laughing over there!
…with hammers and cutting things with knifes. A lot of meat is best when you cooked it within the hour you killed it, not raptor meat though. Eggs are good though, I enjoy those even to this day. So my reputation as a cook got really bad but the chefs I worked under reputations got really good. I mean even though I invented new tools to make cooking faster when I worked under a chef they got all the credit, but if they exploded or malfunctioned yeah, just blame it on the reckless kid goblin, but after you washed soot out of your eyes. we discovered something wonderful, that fire where the horses uses to be, just turned into something that smelled delicious.
Yeah, I got fired from the kitchen and what was worst is that chef moved to Booty Bay and made a fortune off my raptor and egg recipes and since the kitchen had no good cooks or chefs they tore the kitchen down. Some of my goblin brothers and sisters were impressed by my inventions and asked me if I could work making wood shredders, but they knew I hated working on those machines. But I worked half hardly and made most of my meals on a camp fire. I remember on my tenth birthday a bunch of my co-workers pitched in and got me a big stewing pot, at least that's what they said, I had seen those stewing pots at nearby troll tribes that littered the jungles, they most likely stole it, but they had a whole bunch of ingredients that I had never seen before. Fish, flowers, herbs, meat, craw-fish not many vegetables or mushrooms though, all in all there wasn't a lot of food that was native to Stranglethorn Vale but it all smelled really good. I wished that I had a whole kitchen but this pot was twice as tall as a fully grown goblin I asked my brothers, "Where did you get all this stuff?"
They pointed at these giant fat tan creatures with horns on their heads, I had never seen one of them before in my young life but they were Ogres, the Venture Company had just started employing them. So I prepared the best meal I've ever made and the smell brought everyone to the pot but I wanted those cheating backstabbing humans away from my food, I wasn't sure about the ogres though, they seemed alright. So I told my kin this story I'm telling you right now and they told me, "Ratchet, you're not like us, and I know you don't like how greedy we may come out to be, but we all had to learn this lesson the hard way. Even the labors of this company have been griped out of our pay and we have starved because some of us tried to have a kind and care free attitude towards life. "
I asked my kin why people take advantage of us. They said, "Look at us, were short, they have to look down on us like we were children, they think it's cute when we try to take the profit that is rightfully ours and while gnomes might be fine with that we don't. We take knifes to their Achilles tendon bring them down to our level and say, 'Listen if you don't pay me I'll kill you!' We goblins have got to stick together in hard times and make them see the downfall for underestimating us."
I'll tell you this now because if you talk to any goblin they will tell you a time they were cheated out of there profit, but it's still relieving to cook and serve food for my brothers of the workplace. I fed the ogres and boy could they eat, I talked to some of them and they weren't that bright and were downright loud. I asked them where did you get this food and he just pointed up. I asked, "You got them from the sky?"
The ogre shook his head, "North! You's small for goblin, but cook good."
He tried to pat me on the head, I tried to move his huge hand off but he was so massive I couldn't stop him from petting me like a dog. I bit his hand and grabbed it almost like I was feral again. The claws I had as infant hadn't completely gone so when he pulled away I dug into his flesh with them. The ogre screamed out in pain as I crawled around his body like a lizard making strange tongue cries, I remember everything going red and then black. When I woke up I was locked in a dark room and I yelled, "Hey let me out, I'm sorry!"
My nana opened the door in full plate armor and armed with a shield and hammer, "You know I thought with you being ten now that I wouldn't have to worry about this happening again. You messed up that Ogre pretty bad you know."
The ogre I messed up was waiting for me, he had scratches and bruises on most of the parts of his body I remembered that I did have my hammer in my pocket; it was gone when I was locked up. There was two other ogres that were with him, the one I messed pointed at me, "Dats him there."
The two ogres looked at him and then me and broke into laugher, "Rocko got beat by that, he small even for a goblin!"
Rocko pulled a club from his back, "Me smash you dis time." He said.
Nana banged her club against her shield and got the ogres attention, they stopped laughing, "Goblins are dangerous, especially when their kids and the babies are downright deadly."
Rocko laughed, "Mommy goblin thinks she can fight, me smash you too. Boys we's make goblin stew tonight!"
Nana smiled and took a deep breath, "Well if violence is the only thing you understand."
I had seen her catch the fastness feral goblins and throw them in their holes and even kill a few, but I never saw her fight an enemy that was four times her size. In a flash Nana zoomed behind the ogres' legs and smashed her hammer so hard into the back of the ogres' knee caps that he went airborne and smashed into the ground, but she didn't quit, she smashed her hammer into the ogres head fracturing his skull. I saw her smile and looked at the other two, the second ogre smashed his hammer at her and she moved to the side ever so slightly. She could have completely dodged it but she moved a few inches away, "CLEAR!" she yelled
She shocked the second by touching his metal hammer and he fell to the ground shaking, he wasn't breathing. Nana had a smile from ear to ear as she approached Rocko, "Nana don't!" I yelled
She stopped but she kept her eye's on Rocko, "Why not, they came here to kill you and my kids."
"Me no's wants to kill you, just him. Me not understand why momma can fight better than all other goblins." Rocko pleaded.
Nana put her hammer and shield away, "I'm not a momma I'm a nanny, I deliver the babies and I care for them. I told you kid and baby goblins are dangerous."
Rocko just looked and her, "Me's not understand nanny, babies not dangerous, babies cute and cuddly."
Nana took something from a cage, it was my pet rabbit, I was planning on eating him but I warmed up to him and kept him as a pet. "Nana what are you doing with Jeff?"
Nana held him upside down by his legs and Jeff screamed a disturbing yell of pain, "I'm teaching you both a lesson Ratchettee."
I rushed toward her to try save my rabbit but she wasn't just fast, she was strong too, she grabbed me by my face with her free hand, took me to the ground, and smashed her metal boot on my chest. I flayed and scratched at her armor but she just looked down at me holding my rabbit. I flayed I made the same tongue roars I made before; I felt everything go red again. I saw her look at the Rocko, I could feel the rage building again, and I started pushing with my hips to get her off me, "DON'T YOU EVEN THINK ABOUT GOING FERAL AGAIN RATCHETTEE OR THIS TIME I WILL KILL YOU!"
"You kill you son?" Rocko questioned.
I felt the rage leave me, I had to survive and I cried, "You can't feed Jeff to those monsters!"
She stomped on my chest again, "Those monsters are your people Ratchettee, you were like that and so was I. If this ogre doesn't know the truth about our people he will attack again with more of his friends and if you don't learn to control your rage things like this are going to keep happening." She pointed at my rabbit; he was still screaming trying to lift himself up. "For worst, you'll be dead. I've raised you for ten years now Ratchettee but I rather see you dead then as mindless giblin."
She kicked me away and opened the door to the goblin baby holes. It was too small for Rocko to get through but he got down to her level and watched through the bars "Rocko could you grab Ratchettee and make sure he doesn't go anywhere, don't worry, he won't go feral again."
He grabbed me by my shirt and held on to my arm, "I got him." Rocko said.
I didn't watch but I heard my rabbit make one last cry and she threw him down into the hole. Then I heard them, those same high pitched tongues roars they had always made, but this time it was with my screaming rabbit. I didn't know what they were doing to him he must have been screaming for about a long 30 seconds. Rocko let me go to hold on to his ears and I ran out the door I rushed over to where my birthday present was and knocked it over and beat it with my bare hands, I couldn't understand why was I alive, why was I born a monster, why couldn't I just cook food and make people happy. I never wanted to be an animal or a greedy taskmaster that made people's lives miscible, so why was I only given these two options.
Well Rocko saw me crying, he didn't say anything at first, just walked around and whispered things in other ogres ears. I decided to sleep outside, it was still warm in my pot and if trolls tried to kidnap me I could save them the trouble of trying to put me in a pot to cook me. But when I woke up I was in my bed and Nana was looking over me, "What do you want?" I asked her.
She was asleep, but she was sleeping sitting down, "Someone would like to say something to you. You can come in now!"
Rocko came through the door, "Ratchettee me sorry about bunny. Me also sorry me try to smash you. Be friends?"
I got up, "You don't wanna be my friend Rocko, my people are nothing but mindless animals or greedy bastards. We can never be anything else." I looked over at Nana when I said that.
Rocko smashed the side of door, "NO! RATCHETTEE NOT GREEDY, RATCHETTEE NOT ANIMAL, RATCHETTEE NICE! Ratchettee cry when nanny kill bunny, Ratchettee has birthday party and gets no gifts, no gold, Ratchettee only gets food and stolen troll pot and Ratchettee shares with all goblins and even stranger ogres and me's ruin it for you. Me so sorry Ratchettee. Please be friends, me make sure no one hurt you."
I smiled I looked over at Nana and she just nodded her head and smiled, "Okay I forgive you, and sure we could be friends, but I don't need a body guard and don't call me Ratchettee anymore, it's just Ratchet, just tell me where did you get all that food?"
Rocko breathed in hard, "Me tells you, we's gets it from North."
"Like how far north like Stormwind or Ironforge, or maybe Lordaeron?" Nana asked.
Rocko shook his hands and his head, "No, not far north just North."
"So it's only a few miles away north, can we walk there?" I asked now.
Rocko held on to his head, "No, North is place, North is name, North end."
"You mean Northrend. You got the food from Northrend?" Nana finally had it.
"Northrend? Are you sure it's not North End that name makes more since." I added
"I'm sure, the Venture was thinking about expanding there but right now it's crawling with undead, they might have picked up these ogres there." Nana explained, "Rocko are you from North End?"
"No, me just work as mercenary, but me no good fighting, me just good at smashing. Undead very scary." Rocko explained
"It's been a growing problem in Lordaeron, which is why we weaponized the wood cutters but if there heading toward Northrend I guess we don't have much to worry about." Nana explained
So me and Rocko became friends, helped me fix wood cutters and carried around the big metal pot then I wanted to cook someplace else. Engineering school didn't really interest me all that much but I did learn a little about volatile fuels, and since I had a whole bunch of herbs I used for cooking, alchemy came really easy to me. At the very least I could make potions that tasted really good, but I wanted to open another kitchen, this is when I started charging people for my food and potions. Some of my kin were proud of me at first. I was finally handling gold and hoarding it like a goblin should, but some people didn't like it and started borrowing or stealing. I had to convince Rocko to collect, he was a teddy bear though, but he could at least look menacing and he could break stuff. I didn't like living like that though, Rocko had bruises from time to time. He told me a lot, about the orc invasion and the human's war, about what happened in Outland. He was one of the smartest ogres I've ever met, he just talked funny. When I tried to correct his speaking by saying "I" instead of "Me" or "I have" not "Me gots" he explained that is was his accent. That ogre writing had over 2000 hieroglyphic letters but as more cities were destroyed and clans fled to the wilds learning to speak with a tablets and hammers and nails that couldn't be taught, But Rocko knew how to write enough hieroglyphic letters to send messages to Kalimdor. He never ever wrote on paper once though. Said it was meaningless to write on something that could be destroyed to easily. He said then the orcs drank the demon blood the first thing they destroyed was the books, but the tablets and walls filled with hieroglyphics was how he learned to read. He taught me how to read and write in common and speak and write orcish, but those hieroglyphics, the ogre language in general. Rocko was endangered species, he was way smarter then I gave him credit for. Wasn't big on math though, he could add and subtract and multiply and divide with some practice but building, engineering, you have to know a lot more. But he did show me something, something we both came up with.
We were talking one day and he told me, "What's yous want in life, yous not happy here?"
I told him, "Once I saved up enough money I'll build a kitchen here and import goods from Northrend maybe all around the world."
"For gold?" Rocko asked
"Of course, you have to have gold if you want to do things, kitchens don't play for themselves you know." I explained.
"Ratchet has lots of gold, Rocko also has lot of gold, but yous food tasting bad, does Ratchet care. You use same corn oil for two weeks." Rocko complained.
"Someone needs to watch out for the gold, once we get more shipments I'll be able to spend it for food and kitchen equipment. But since we have to work on woodcutters to pay for the Ventures protection, I don't have time to be looking for ingredients right now. I can only feed the people willing to pay." I said it but it hurt to hear the words come out.
"And you let them steal?" Rocko stated.
"I let MY people borrow MY money Rocko with interest! You collect, it's why I feed you for free!"
Rocko crossed with arms, "You hate yous people because they greedy, Ratchet. I no like yous food and yous people not like yous food, they only eat cause they starving. I let some eat for free and even give yous gold for free." He confessed.
"Why would you do that?! IS THERE SOMETHING FUNNY ABOUT STEALING PROFIT!" He wasn't laughing but I hoped it was joke. "Please tell me you joking."
Rocko just stood there arms crossed and kept from looking in my eyes.
"You're fired, Rocko. There are pretty of ogres working here I don't need you!" I look back on that time with a lot of regret.
Rocko took the pot of two week old molding corn oil and spilled it on the ground, "Then you no need this!" Rocko took the club off his back and smashed the metal and stone pot so hard it made a spark that fell into the oil. The oil took blaze and a river of burning oil went towards the work areas. That oil burned for a long time and the fire burned a whole weeks' worth of wood from shredding. Me and Rocko weren't on best terms, I couldn't cook at all which made me really depressed and I didn't have Rocko to help with the wood shredders which was also depressing. The Venture Company found out it was us or so I thought, and the foreman asked us to explain why we were on bad terms.
I exclaimed to the foreman, "It was Rocko fault, he caused the fire when he spilled corn oil and broke my cooking pot, and it caused a spark and burned all the wood and some of the jungle."
The foremen laughed and said, "I was asking why you guys were at one time thick as thieves and now you won't even look at each other, but thanks for that. We wrote it off as a fossil fuel leak that went bad, not the first time it's happened."
So I confessed nothing "So we can forget what I just said right? I mean it's Rocko's fault, You know what they say, 'The bigger they are, the harder they avoid work' " I claimed.
"Nope, you're going to pay for this." The foreman said with a laugh. "But I am wondering about the oil you were using, it burned for a long time. Could you make more?"
"Dat oil was three week old. Me glad it went up in smoke, it's nearly poisoning us." Rocko said still angry at me.
"You both are in trouble, "The foreman explained, "Don't think I haven't heard about your bad cooking Ratchettee and your property damage Rocko. We just wrote it off as goblin acting like a goblin."
"Hear dat Ratchet, yous everything yous said you hate, a greedy destroyer of things." Rocko teased
I looked at the foremen like I was hoping he would do something after hearing something that, I was his people and he was mocking us.
"Greed is a means to an end Rocko, our goals are what drive us, not always just our profits. And you Ratchettee you can't just blow off someone that helped you get there. That why I wanted to talk to you both but that fire, people died, and that's enough to get you both hanged and I'm sorry to say you will be held prisoner until we decide what to do with you."
So from there I shared a cell with Rocko, I fought when they tried to arrest me but Rocko went quietly so I had a lot of time to work on my Alchemy trying to recreate the corn oil I made before until they figured out what to do with us. Rocko asked me, "What are you going to do when yous make that fuel?"
I was busy trying to work, "I don't know Rocko, it took three weeks of that oil rotting in a pot for it to burn like it did. We will most likely be hanged before that time."
"If yous makes it they let us go?" Rocko asked.
I rolled my eyes, "Yes, Rocko they'll let us go."
"Then everything goes back to normal," Rocko let out a sigh, "What's about me and you?"
I laughed, "There is no you and me Rocko, once I make this fuel I'll leaving a false recipe, they'll know it takes three weeks to make, that will be more than enough time for me to get out of here so I never have to see another Venture member again."
Rocko held onto two bars on our cage, "You said these were yous people."
I half smiled and looked outside the cage, "Some of those goblins owe me a lot of gold and would like to see us hanged so they don't have to pay it back. All the while they were stealing from me, what could I do to stop them? They were always holding back. Once I figure this out I'm going to Ironforge and using this fuel to build tanks that will smash this whole encampment to the ground."
"Do I hold you back?" Rocko asked "What about cooking? You uses to like making people happy with yous food."
I just looked up at him, I couldn't think of anything to say at the time.
"They no hold you back, you do. We should leave because they will kill us. But should just go and never come back, vengeance not help anyone. When ogres attack groms for destroying ogre cities it didn't bring our cultures back. We just lose more ogres and the ones alive only know war. Now there no smart ogres." Rocko told me.
"Well what should I do now?" I asked.
"What makes Ratchet happy?" answering a question with a question.
"It uses to be cooking but I don't want to be here anymore." I said seeming hopeless.
"We could go to North End, uh, Northrend feed mercenaries, no goblins or Ventures there." Rocko suggested.
"And ingredients, all those things you brought back, do they have kitchens there?" I continued.
"They gots Inns with food and rooms so, yes, maybe." He said.
"Then we can go, you can take me there right?" I was pretty excited.
"Yes." Rocko answered.
"Great so I guess I better get back to work, if we wanna to get out of here." I said at the time.
"No need." Rocko pulled two ends of the bars and they snapped off like twigs, like I said he was smarter then your average ogre. I stole some keys to get Rocko out of his cell. And we stole a row boat and made our way to Northrend. Not the whole way, you know, caught a bigger ship that took us there.
From there we were friends again and we set sail to Northrend. We met up with some of Rocko's old buddies that were still smashing up undead, fishing, and hunting. They were making a lot of money since most of the humans had fled since the undead started showing up, and people still wanted furs, leathers, herbs, meat and fish. But I didn't care about that, Rocko took me the Inn with no kitchen but after working for almost a year without a kitchen and doing everything out of a troll pot. I was in heaven, I whipped up something in three hours but I could have been there for the whole day and served everyone in Rocko's old mercenary band the best dinner I've ever made. I, at least I think it was a pretty happy time for me since me tenth birthday. After a week I needed help from Rocko in the kitchen, a lot of the other ogres helped out in the kitchen as well. The owner couldn't be believe the impact it was having, some people waited out in the cold to eat my food, and a lot of other mercenaries leaders came to talk business about jobs and missions. I asked Rocko one day, "You said you had a lot of gold did you leave it in Stranglethorn Vale?"
He shook his head, "No, me leaves it here. Me's never took it, why?"
I smiled, "Cause at this rate I'll be able to open my own restaurant."
"Is that what yous want out of life? Yous seem happy now." Rocko said
I shrugged, "Sure, but not here, it too damn cold, maybe a nice spot by the beach."
Rocko nodded, "Ogres like beach, that's why we's goes to Strange Thorn, me not the only one dat dislike fighting."
"But what should we call it?" I asked, "Ratchettee Spaghetti!" I suggested.
Rocko laughed, "No, you made dat already. It's good but something better."
I looked up at Rocko and thought, "What about Rock and Ratchet?"
Rocko face went pale, "No, leave me out of this, at one time me not do good things for Blood Maul clan. Me ruin yous reputation."
I was a little surprised to hear that, "Okay just Ratchet for now until we think of something better?"
"What's about Ratchettee's Serengeti" Rocko suggested
I looked at him questionably, "Is that some kind of ogre word?" I asked
Rocko half smiled tilded his head to the right, "Kind of."
We were going through suggestions for names when a tall blonde human in full plate armor stormed into the inn. "I am Prince Arthas Menethil heir to the kingdom of Lordaeron, I need soldiers to eradicate the undead that plague your lands."
Yeah Arthas Menethil, aka the Lich King, everyone says the Frostmorne corrupted him, but when he came into the inn I felt something was off about him. Something I only felt when near the meanest and greediest taskmasters in the Venture Company. If that dwarf and his band of treasure hunters weren't with him he would have left with two broken arms, but I was told Muradin Bronzebeard and his band of explorers were regulars. Rocko looked outside the kitchen, "Muradin?!" he shouted.
"Rocko, they never told me you'd never come back, you're a sight for sore eyes, I thought you were scared of undead." Rocko slapped his hand secured it with the other and let go.
"Me's no fighter anymore, me's a cook now." Rocko explained.
"I always knew you were smarter than your average ogre, you always knew when to run away." Muradin said with a laugh, "But this place smells great, you cooked all this food yourself?"
Rocko bended down to the dwarves level and he looked over at me, "You don't say."
"Muradin we don't time for this, if these men are willing to fight let bring them quickly" Arthas ordered.
"Who the hell do you think you are, coming into my kitchen barking orders?!" I finally said.
"With every minute that passes the undead forces grow stronger, goblin." He explained still sounding high and mighty.
"Good, if it keeps backstabbing humans out of here all the better. We're making a lot of gold by importing goods to other parts of Azeroth, we don't need human royalty in our lands telling us how to live." I shouted.
"He's a prince, means he gots lots of gold." I heard one of the mercenary whisper to another.
"Let's kidnap him and hold him for ransom." The other mercenary suggested back.
Arthas pulled out a small bag of gold and gems spilled them on the mercenaries table, "We have very good miners in Lorderon they dug up mines your people already missed, since these gems and gold pieces are rightfully yours I would suggest you smash the ships that are planning on sailing off with them. I could lead you to them if you spare my life of course."
I remember Muradin trying to speak up, but he was pushed away by Arthas, I didn't think much of it then.
"How many ships?" Rocko asked.
Arthas smiled, "Five ships filled with gold and one with gems, any of you willing to continue fighting will be rewarded by my father the king and I will forget the statements that your band just suggested."
"Rocko please don't tell me you believe that, he just trying to save his own skin with his coin purse!" I pleaded.
"I would think a goblin would jump at any chance to take five ships filled with gold lie or not." Arthas said with a laugh.
"What did you say to me?!" I rushed toward him kitchen knife in hand but Rocko stopped me by grabbing me.
"Give me second." Rocko said to Arthas, but a lot of mercenaries were already walking outside.
"Rocko, no, he's lying, I don't like him." I pleaded with Rocko, upset more about the statement Arthas made about me.
"Me knows this, but yous not survive one winter here Ratchet, me knows he's lying but me sees pictures of him. He is prince and he will pay well for job well done, me promise no fighting undead. Me smash boats and then come back in few hours. When we gets paid we all move to Kalnidor nice spot off by the beach like we's planned."
The idea made me smile and it was cold enough as it was. I didn't know what it would be like if the deep winter days were to set in. Rocko left with his old friends and that was the last I saw from him again. I sometimes think if there was anything I could have said to make him stay, or pushed the whole ransom idea, or threw that damn kitchen knife at Arthas's throat how different the world would be today. But I'd like to think that every single ogre that died that day was holding on to hope that this one job could set them up for life, if it wasn't for Rocko I would of taken a deal like the one Arthas offered and maybe Rocko was only looking out for me when he took that job. I'm sorry this is one of my biggest regrets and if anyone holds a grudge against me they could rightfully, but I do beat myself up over that terrible day.
Anyways, it was midday when he left but I stayed up for most of the night waiting for him to come back. I tried to head out there myself but it was so cold. I told myself someone has to come back. The innkeeper let me stay in one of the beds for free and said he would wake me as soon as someone came back, but I woke up a few hours before midday, and nothing. It was warm enough for me to start tracking and so I packed up the spiciest chili I could make, goblin fighting juice, and a big bag of salt chunks and started tracking. I was covered from head to toe but goblins aren't made for cold weather, I used the salt to track my way back, works a lot better than bread crumbs.
I tracked ogre tracks to traces of an encampment, I found the boats that they smashed but they didn't look like boats used to carry precious metals. The tide was somewhat high so all I found was traces of fire and a few broken boat pieces; I thought maybe Arthas made them an offer they couldn't refuse. I mean Rocko had watched me cook a hundred times and once he got hands on he knew the orders really very. He just wasn't very good with a knife. I thought, "humans have to eat too", and if they were all gone maybe they employed Rocko to cook. I told myself that but I really didn't check the wreckage of the boats, I didn't check the fire for burnt cloth or bones, and if the tide weren't up I might have found Rocko's club or more weapons. So I followed traces of tracks, there were so many of them at first but they died down once I went into this cave. I couldn't find any traces ogre tracks or weapons. I thought about heading back but night was setting in, building a fire in that cave was my best bet. So I kept tracking looking for any signs of ogre remands. There was obviously fighting going on human bodies and dragon bones littered all over the place, some of them still warm. I was somewhat relieved, but I still had no idea where Rocko might have been. Then I heard coughing from inside the cave, when a spit, then a heavy breathing. "Hello!" I yelled into the cave.
"Help." I heard a familiar voice say and more coughing. I walked slowly toward the voice, "Hello, I'm looking my friend, did they leave you here for dead."
"I can't move, there something stuck in my collar bone and I'm pinned to the ground, I can't move my arm and I think there's blood in my eye's" I heard the voice say.
As I moved closer into the cave it got darker I couldn't see anything, "It dark I'm going light a torch. Tell me if you could see it!" I yelled.
"I can see light but it's faint, I don't think you're far just walk toward my voice," he said and let out a loud cough.
I walked toward the voice like he said, and I saw the dwarf I met earlier but he was impaled on ice through his thick armor and also pieces of ice where in his body on exposed parts of his body but his helmet was intact, though he was bleeding onto his beard "Is it bad?" he asked.
"Can you move your fingers?" I asked.
"This side, aye, the other." The dwarf cried out in pain, "with some effort, aye."
"Where's Rocko, the rest of the ogres, they were with you?" I asked.
"Died, he killed them… " the dwarf explained but was stopped short, his body was shacking. So I covered him with my jacket. It was too small to cover his whole body though. So a started a fire with wood I took from the smashed ships. The fire was going but the dwarf still shivered; his body was so cold even when exposed to the fire. The areas of ice in his body weren't melting and that big piece in his collar bone showed no signs of melting. I took off his cape and covered him removed some of wet clothes but it seemed like he was breathing less ,I heated up some hot water and tried to heat my clothes just get something warm on him. I wiped him down with hot salt water it helped remove some of the smaller pieces of ice from his wounds. But that big piece.
Oh before I forget, do you know anything about Fighting Juice?
You don't.
Of course you don't, you're from Kezan right, Gallywix probably never told you.
So sometimes when you hunt and you shoot at prey and you don't kill it, you slow it down and you can still chase it without a mount. You keep shooting or stabbing not to kill but to injure, until the beast falls from exhaustion, it also helps if the beast still tries to fight back, hence the name; Fighting Juice, you kill it you take out its heart chop it into tiny bits. Throw it in a pot lined with olive oil, blood and all, add a little more olive oil, add some silverleaf or kingsblood herbs, salt and pepper for flavor. Let that heat up until the meat is nice and brown add some boiling water. THE WATER HAS TO BE BOILING don't put warm or cold water to the pot or it will lose its effect if it cools down at all, just to the point to where all the meat is submerged, stir until it's a unformed brown color and serve to a restrained someone about to undergo painful surgery or someone about enter a losing battle.
The more wounds you add to the game you're hunting the better the juice, you can also add earthroot but that would cause it to become a hallucinogen and no that's not what I gave Muradin Bronzebeard. Well I did, just not the earthroot one, I had to pull out that damn ice spike or he would of died from hypothermia. I'm not a doctor but I've seen the effects Fighting Juice had on people, I mean the dwarf had been suffering for a really long time. I've never tested it on a dwarf before and I think the animals in Northrend might have fought with a lot fury then the ones in Stranglethorn. Another factor could be that maybe the ogres were better hunters then I gave them credit for, might have been able to put a lot more wounds on a prey if they thought of it more as a game. Who can put the must wounds on a single prey? Anyways, once I pulled out the ice spike the dwarf runs out of the cave, bleeding, half naked, screaming on the top of his lungs, not my fault. Okay maybe I gave him WAY too much Fighting Juice, maybe I thought it would be great idea to pour salt in the wound to dry it out, like I said I'm not a doctor, but I didn't think he was going to pull through. I mean he didn't react to the salt water treatment earlier.
That what my nana did for me when I got hurt, said it would clean the wound and stop me from getting hurt again, cause ya know treatment was painful.
Oh don't look at me like that, he's alive now you know, give me a little credit.
Anyways, what was I saying, oh right. Scared the hell out of me, by the time I left the cave to check on him he joined with some other dwarfs riding on one of those, what are they called again? Joemanors, jimonors, worms, big.
Yeah that it, jormungar, well him, a few other gray skinned dwarfs were fighting a few of those things and seeing Muradin hopped up on Fighting Juice ripping out the teeth of these worms. I knew the juice gave you a certain level crazy in battle but holy balls, most of the other dwarfs were just in awe as Muradin killed this group of worms. They didn't even notice me, but I wasn't built for this kind of weather so I went back into the cave without any of them noticing. He was going to be in a butt load of pain once the fighting juice wore off, but he did manage to tell me what happen to Rocko and his band, but never said who. I figured it was Arthas but I was unsure why, that damn wind chill chilled my fingers to the bone, the snow that fell hurt like tiny wet shocks of electricity. I would have liked to keep tracking while the trail was still hot but I used up all my salt trying to fix up Muradin Bronzebeard, but there was still a trail of salt leading back to Arthas encampment and I remember there was a port within looking distance were I found the wreckage. So I went back into the cave where I found Muradin, ate my chili and rested until day broke, there was enough light to see almost everything in the cave I spent the night in, but I still woke up cold, with a sinus headache, a really sore throat, and a pretty bad cough. I could clearly see there was a something like a throne or pedestal with writing on it, it said, ""Whomsoever takes up this blade shall wield power eternal. Just as the blade rends flesh, so must power scar the spirit" I finally got it, this whole quest, meeting Muradin's explores, betraying Rocko and Muradin was to find a treasure. That cheating backstabbing human, I was going to kill him for that, and in the back on my mind I wondered how much could a blade like that be worth. I ran toward the encampment vengeance, rage, and greed burned in my heart. I ran with three blades one in each hand and another in my mouth. The prince of Lorderon seem like he was waiting for the troops to move their supplies in a ship, but he was wearing completely different armor when I saw him at the inn and it seemed that his hair turned completely white. That didn't matter though, I was smiling from ear to ear when I saw that beautiful blade on his back. Without much thought I jumped up and stabbed my blade into Arthas's collar bone feeling the blade go into flesh and then crack through the areas of his upper vertebrae. A sweet sound of a clean and quick kill, but Arthas didn't fall down like a sack of potatoes like he should have. He grabbed me but I had already started to work on his blade I grabbed with both hands and then something happened.
Why are you looking at me like that? You don't think I did that do you? You know there's an old goblin saying, "Charging alone takes an uncommon daring or uncommon stupidity. Or both." You know what, I had both.
ANYWAYS! All of a sudden, I was in a dark room and I saw this glowing green orc with black tattoos and glowing white eyes it said, "What are you doing here goblin?"
"Arthas, he killed Rocko. I thought I killed him and that blade he found has got to be worth a fortune, but where am I? I have no idea how I got here" I stated
"Is vengeance what you desire?" The orc asked.
"Kind of, I don't know, maybe." I thought back on Rocko's words, "Vengeance didn't solve anything. I mean sure I wanted him dead but thinking about it now. I think I would like to make off with his little quest reward. Oh to see the look on his face when I'm rolling in a mountain of gold once I sell that thing. Maybe I could use the power of the blade to power shredders, oh racers. That would be fun or maybe…"
"SHUT UP!" the orc commanded. "Alright you clearly don't want vengeance but you just killed Arthas, are planning on doing any more killing with Frostmorne?"
"Frost-what?" I said, "Oh right, the whole 'Whomsoever takes up this blade shall wield power eternal. Just as the blade rends flesh, so must power scar the spirit' thing, yeah I know bad convoluted contract when I see it. I like spirit intact thank you." I said with a laugh, "Don't worry, I know someone with a lot of money that probably going to buy Frost-whatever that won't mind having their soul scared."
"YOU'RE JOKING! I'm not a trinket to be sold to a vendor!" as the orc got mad the room started to shack.
"Oh I get it now, you're the sword. Big enchantment there buddy, a orc soul. Yeah maybe the whole power conduit idea would be better. You know we goblins do have some morals you know, and nothings better protected then something useful and dangerous. If this all in my head, I just gotta figure out a way to get out of here." Nothing is greater than a goblins imagination I just needed to gain some control. I just imaged myself in the biggest Fel-magic controlled machine I could think of and as I thought of it I became it. I towered over the orc and was about to crush him with my huge mechanical legs. The orc seemed out gunned but this time he was out minded and as I was about to take control when he yelled, "Be grateful to be me boy!"
When I came back I could have swore ten minutes had just gone by but it was a few seconds after, Arthas pulled me off like a rag doll and threw me on the sand. He pulled out the blade from his neck cracked his neck to the side and pointed Frostmorne at me. A few of his guards were about to run me threw and I yelled, "Time out, wait, just let me say one thing before you kill me, please." I said.
I heard a voice say, "Who sent you assassin? My prince, are you hurt?"
Arthas put his Frostmorne in the sand, "I'm fine, the little goblin just broke the armor. Let me kill him though."
"Wait, I thought you'd say that. Trying to cover up your tracks," Two guards were holding me by my arms, "You killed Rocko, you sent him to destroy your own boats because you said there was treasure on those boats."
"Is that true Arthas?" the better dressed human in cloth looked at Arthas.
"It's true, what of it?" Arthas said seemly completely emotional.
The guards let me go and looked at Arthas in disbelief, "But you said..."
"I said, what needed to be said, guardsmen" Arthas interrupted. "You will fall in line and kill this assassin."
"I am the kings' emissary you disobeyed your father the king and covered it up, and what's even worst is your showing no signs of guilt of the crimes you committed." The emissary ordered.
Arthas placed one hand on his head, "I know I don't know what wrong with me. I know I should feel bad about betraying that band of mercenaries and Muradin but I don't."
The emissary looked at him with some concern and patted Arthas on the back, "You have seen so much death today but it will pass. Goblin!" his looked over at me.
"Ratchettee." I stood up and corrected.
"Right, Ratchettee, I found this in the remains I thought it was art but I think after looking into it. I think it might be some kind of writing. I think you should have it." The emissary gave it to me a green stone placard and I knew what it was; it was made of ogre hieroglyphics. I could only make out one word "MAP" "Arthas!" the emissary shouted.
Arthas nodded got down one knee put his hand down to my level, "I'm sorry for the loss of your friend, it's my fault, and your right to want to kill me, but if there any way I could repay you you just need to ask."
I crossed my arms defensively no amount of gold could bring Rocko back. I looked beyond Arthas and saw he left Frostmorne in the sand. I remembered whatever that thing was inside that blade. I put out my hand and shook it the way humans do. "If you want to do me a favor when you get out to sea, throw that cursed blade into the ocean, it will be the death of you." Arthas looked back at it, "I mean look what it's done to your hair."
Arthas laughed, "Yours too Ratchettee, I suppose it served its purpose. I really have no reason to keep it."
I pulled out some of my hair and it was completely white and it's been like that even since. I suppose Arthas too, and that was the last I ever saw him, but it wasn't the last I heard from him, but we all know that story.
He sailed off and I looked at the hieroglyphic it couldn't really be read it but I knew it was a map. After about three days deciphering it I figured out where it leads. Rocko's stash, in a cave and in that cave was a small hill of gold and gems and a chest of very well enchanted armor. I mean I still remember the feel of those furs like chilled silk but kept all the Northrend cold out. I found a piece of paper inside the chest in orcish, "Dear Ratchet, if you're reading this I'm dead. At one time I was very good at hiding, stealing, and killing. But then I get bigger and hiding got a lot harder, but me stole lot of gold and jewels from the bloodmaul, my real name Salalash which means 'rolling stone', and stolen many things for the stonemaul clan and me steals from Venture and mercenary clans and you. Not so much money but secrets, but sometime I steal for myself. Me horde goods but me can never spend because people know me to be thief. So mes just collect and collect but me's never can share it because me not trust anyone. Until me met you, so young, and wanting things to help people. Me want that too, so whatever you do with me spoils, me knows yous uses it for good. Your friend always Rocko."
He said he thought he would have enough to build a restaurant but there was enough gold there to build a whole city and just how we planned a nice spot by the beach in Kalimdor and that town is now is called, you guessed it, Ratchet.
I wanted to make a restaurant city, a place where you can go and find any kind of ingredients without having to travel all the way to one part of the world. But most of my goblin friends didn't know much about building houses, it was a complete disaster. That's how I met Baron Revilgaz he had the professionals, the ones that knew how to build and he introduced to Gazlowe, he knew a lot about building but nothing about kitchens or cooking. He kept trying to build walls and defenses. I mean after finding a new and unexplored land, Gazlowe was already trying ways to set it on fire "if the worst were to happen" he would say, but I wasn't doing any better.
I told him about my vision for a restaurant city and he said it was stupid idea to try to build something that would entertain people in a world that was built on war. I was trying to push a meaning of peace, once the war stopped between orcs and humans they could come together and share food. I tore up a lot of his building plans and tore down a lot of his buildings built for war or for polluting the water. We rarely agreed on most things and I stayed in an inn where most of the food was and he stayed on the opposite side of the town. I remember I said to him, "If you're in charge of maintenance why don't we just set the whole place on fire and call it a day!"
Okay I didn't say that, but I WANTED to say that.
The guy like to fish but I use that term lightly, throwing dynamite into the water hardy counts as fishing, but that's how the guy ate. A lot of fights broke out between orcs and humans, night elves and high elves, and goblins and gnomes. I hired a lot of security and even trained them to fight, once Gazlowe saw my skill with a knives and clubs he knew why I didn't depend on military defenses. He did make some pretty awesome shields for our guards, you know around that time I think we were finally starting to hit a middle ground. Not walls but elite protection personal, people that could meet you, greet you and give you directions, but would beat you into a coma if you stepped out of line. That's when Baron Revilgaz showed up one day for dinner, and said during our meal, "That was really good, but you know the war's not going to end Ratchet, but that doesn't have to be a bad thing."
"We have to keep pushing peace isn't that why were neural?" I asked.
"No it's not, we profit on whoever we like, but we don't stand in the middle of race wars, and you don't feed a cat and a dog from the same kennel regardless of how good the kibbles are. I think you've seen it before, haven't you been accused of giving the better food to someone base on their race." He stated.
I half smiled and rolled my eyes. "People aren't cats and dogs, if they both agree that food is good, I'll plan on employing more than just goblins and ogres. If they can work together maybe they can play together. We just have to keep pushing."
Baron shook his head, "That's beautiful in a fairy tale story for children, but this is business and in business only the strong survive. I'm trying to make sure it's us goblins or whoever buys the most from us, I know how much you spent this year it was a lot more than I did, but I know how much you profited it, was a lot less what I made. This means you're a bleeding heart, and you're going to run dry sooner or later. Even I know you have more money than me now. What I'm trying to tell you Ratchettee is that doesn't have to be that way. Let me make a few buildings on your land something our people could use to defend ourselves."
"You wanna build weapons don't you, forget it. This place has a armory and that's all we need." I crossed my arms and was about leave.
"Hold on, I'm not talking about a brash piece of metal used for bashing skulls, I'm talking about the fighting juice, the one you mixed up for Venture Company, and yeah there still looking for you by the way."
I sat back down, "Fighting Juice is hit or miss which is why it's hard to start a business off it. Don't you have hunters that can hunt game?"
We do, but none crazy enough to go to Northrend to get the best of the stuff, but we do have trappers, you could lead them, you know the areas, you know the routes to take ships, you go there when you run low on funds. I'll I'm asking is you share the profit." Baron stated but the way he was rising is voice if felt like I was being ordered.
"I am not a hunter, nor would I hunt there even if I was, the practice of harvesting fighting juice is a cruel one. But you said trappers didn't you, you want people fight animals?" It was kind of easy to see.
"Bingo," Baron slapped his hand together, "think about it Ratchettee people will only want peace once the lust for blood is stated, we just need an arena, maybe here on Ratchet and you to bring back a few animals from Northrend and the fighting juice is something we can both sell on the side."
This put a terrible taste in my mouth I knew getting Fighting Juice was cruel way to hunt but this seemed downright inhumane, I looked over at Gazlowe and he seemed pretty disgusted at well.
"I need to think about this." I said
Baron got up wiped off his hands, "Take all the time you need, Ratchettee. This is your town, for what it's worth. Maybe you could join me for a little game next week."
"I'm not a hunter, no thanks." I stated.
Baron shook his head, "No I mean a game game with friends and gold."
"He means gabbling." Gazlowe cut in
"Gabbling what's that" I really didn't know at the time.
"I'll show you next week." Baron Revilgaz winked, left with his bodyguard, and set sail to Booty Bay.
"I don't think you should do it I've seen what these games can do to people." Gazlowe suggested.
I half smiled, "Can I win?"
Gazlowe shrugged, "It's not impossible, no; maybe I could teach you how to play."
So Gazlowe started showing how to play poke-poke, dark-jack, and Taranis hold em. And that week we went to Booty Bay and took a whole pot of gold from everyone from the goblin cartel. I thought to myself I may not even need to go back to Rocko's stash, I can win a pot and that would be enough gold for the whole week, but I wanted more, Gazlowe came to play as well but I broke even the next week. Which means I needed to go back to Northrend but I remembered sometimes Baron Revilgaz would play all the money he had and lose it, because he had his stash there in Booty Bay and he just went down stairs got more gold and started playing again. So I brought a bigger boat to Northrend and I had a little bit of help move all the gold this time and before I left I asked Gazlowe to make a big safe and boy was he surprised when I came back. All the gold I owned was on one ship and this time I invited him over to Ratchet's place. Long story short and I know you wanna hear that, you've been typing for a long time now and you're starting to sweat.
The first three cards on the flop gave a three of a kind for me so I raised, two of the cards were on the flop I had one of them and so did everyone else.
The turn gave everyone a shot at a flush if they had two cards of the same coat, but gave me a full-house, Gazlowe went all in, and Baron Revilgaz went all in as well.
Then the river card came up, it gave the same coat giving anyone that at least one card of the coat a chance at the flush, and Baron put a piece of paper on the pile of chips.
"What's that?" Gazlowe asked
"It's the deed to Booty Bay," Baron Revilgaz replied.
"I can't match that." Gazlowe said.
"Yes you can, you stop working for Ratchettee and you work for me for free for the next five years, life threatening jobs or not, but I don't want you died, I'll give you free room board but anything you invent is mine." Baron put his cards in his lap. "If you win you make Booty Bay however you like."
"And what if I win." I finally cut in.
Baron looked over at me, "Well if you win I guess you get Booty Bay and Gazlowe but your vision for peace are a little farfetched, especially now. But you'll need something of value"
I took one of the playing cards that were on the board and in pen and I wrote, deed to Ratchet and signed the bottom. "Is that good enough for you?"
Baron smiled, "Yep,"
Gazlowe looked at both of us, "I have the high flush ace, two cities, what am I going to do?"
I laughed, put down my full-house, "Sorry Gazlowe but don't worry, no life threating jobs, I promise. What do you have flush?"
Baron looked a little disappointed, "Yep you got me, I have a flush."
"Well a full-house beats a flush" I stated.
Baron looked me in the eyes and smiled, "You're right a full house does beat a flush, unless it's a straight flush."
He put down his cards and there it was, just like that, "Now, get off my property."
And that's how I lost Ratchet and everything Rocko gave me when he died. That why Gazlowe was working with Thrall on so many life threatening jobs, but me I went a little nuts. Okay, I went bat-shit crazy. I was already wanted by the Venture Company and Baron made sure to tell them any kind sightings they had of me. He didn't want me near any other goblins in the cartel and when my hormones' starting kicking in my vision started to blur. I think I must have climbed to the World Tree and dove into its waters. I kept killing animals and doing who knows what to them, I couldn't find any females. I mean I saw female orcs from time to time that looked good but they weren't us, me, and I never really understood sex at the time. I mean I knew how our kind came to be but I hadn't seen a nana from a baby hole in a long time. Where were they, I thought. I kept myself covered in blood and mud most of the time. I learned to crawl faster than I could run, I killed so many goblins when I saw them. They were hunting me, I remember that, so I killed them. Most goblins are expendable, and a lot of goblins are hard to get rid of, Me, I'm both at the same time. But everyone else didn't have faces; they never saw me unless I wanted them. But I stole to eat and if I saw a goblins out in the forest I killed them, I don't look at those times with much regret, I figured the more victims I killed, the more likely I was to get the right one. I lived like a rat; you might have guessed I completely forgot how to cook, I forgot everything, how to speak, how to think, I remember Nana had a name for this a 'Giblin'. Yeah, that's what I must have become, but I wasn't like them, I was a giblin but another kind. I could remember my name, Ratchet, adventurers said it from time to time, my city, my town. It was mine, and I was going to get it back, but I couldn't figure out how. I wanted to do something but I wasn't sure what it was. Ratchet that was the only thing I could think of. I sometimes had visions or my city. Not the town, but something better, lit up with lights, races of every shape and color. Food going from place to place, machines, boat races, and fireworks. Then it turns into a nightmare, people killing one another, and my people picking through the bodies like rats. I see myself and I am everywhere and I'm nowhere. I don't know how long I lived like that, those years seem to go by in a blur but one day my vision finally focused on something. A woman, a goblin woman, but younger and prettier running through the forest, I asked her, "What are you?"
She was about to blast me when I snuck up behind her, "I'm a goblin, what are you?"
"I'm Ratchet," I told her, "are Venture, come to hunt Ratchet, you wanting burning fuel, well I have some if you like toast"
She was kind of nervous, "No I'm not looking for fuel."
"Good, cause I would toast you, make you delicious." Like I said crazy, but I remember that day.
"You with Steamwell Cartel come to take Fighting Juice. I don't have any" I did though, I was living off it.
"Fighting Juice, no, I'm just on a job. I need to 20 wolves pelts or something. I really wasn't paying attention. You know you look a lot like a goblin" she stated with a smile.
The smile made my heart hurt but my head feel really good. "I am goblin, but goblins hunt me, but I hunt them first, Ratchet always wins."
She looked at me quizzically, "Ratchet like the town."
The name I heard so much from others, "Ratchet is my town, my city, they stole it, full-house beat's a flush unless it's straight. You not look like goblin, you look like Nana but prettier."
"Thank you?" She shrugged.
"Ratchet can see now, vision not so blurred. Ratchet can speak Ratchet can….." It all came back to me like a flood, "Ah shit, where in the hell am I?"
"Wow your voice sounds way different now." It did change, like, way deeper than it ever been before.
My head still kind of hurt, "What's the year?"
"2013" she answered.
I stood there for a few seconds and trying to recall the concept of math, "That would make me eight years now"
"You're eight years old?" Seeming unbelieving.
"No, I've been here for eight years, I was bat shit crazy until now, I think that would make me like 20 now, right?" I asked.
"I don't know, we've never met before, so what's your name" she asked.
"Ratchettee or Ratchet, yeah like that town, yours?"
"Strator, like, uh well nothing."
"That's an odd name, nice to meet you." She put out her hand and I slapped it the way the Venture Company uses to, a series hand slaps and fist bumps but she didn't catch on. "Hey I know this is going to sound weird but…"
Strator crossed her arms, "More weird then the conversation I just had with you, unlikely."
"Where do baby goblins come from?" I asked.
Her eyes's went a little wide, "Nope you were right, are you telling me you really don't know."
I shrugged and half smiled, "Nope."
She took a deep breath, "Okay where do I start, when a momma goblin and daddy goblin like each other a lot, the daddy-"Well you know how it goes. She explained the whole thing to me. I told her that I had only seen one female, the one that raised me and I hadn't see her in years and the past eight years was my hormones had been trying balance out, and the Fighting Juice, and well everything. She helped me get cleaned up and then she helped a little more, it was really nice of her if you ask me.
After that I registered as a member of the Horde now that they were employing goblins from Kezan not cartel anymore, I started a guild called the Penetrators of Booty Bay and we plan on taking back the city by force if we have too. And here I am.
Sheesh I need water.
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vorthosjay · 6 years
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Let’s Talk About Something Else Entirely
Let me tell you something, sometimes these titles are hilarious when you add ‘Let’s Talk About’ to them. Something Else Entirely is one of those stories. There are some juicy background details in today’s story, so let’s dive in! And don’t forget about the Vraska the Unseen feature also out today!
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River’s Rebuke by Raymond Swanland
Even when his ears couldn't hear anything, Jace could still hear endless talking.
So Jace’s powers are returning to him. I’m sure that won’t end poorly for someone.
Kerrigan, the burly ogre who served as ship's cook, showed him how to maintain a galley-fire without burning the ship down. 
Whoops. I assume this is meant to say ‘Orc’.
Jace had been told that, before the Legion of Dusk's arrival on Ixalan two years ago, this had been a place untouched by the war at home in Torrezon.
Ah, so the Legion of Dusk arrived two years prior. Not that it’s connected, but that’s around the time the Eldrazi were released, Jace became Guildpact, and Tezzeret was sent to Mirrodin.
He felt a tap on his shoulder and turned to find Breeches, a goblin as talented at knot-tying as he was at yelling. "ALE AND CARDS! ALE AND CARDS!" he chanted with fervor.
Breeches is my favorite character.
"DEBT AND ALE AND CARDS!"
Breeches is a Millennial.
Breeches pumped a fist in the air. "DEBT AND ALE AND CARDS AND FESTIVITIES!"
Breeches!
"It began about five months ago. I was contacted by a wealthy patron from overseas, not part of the Legion of Dusk. His name is Lord Nicolas, and he hired me to retrieve an item of great power."
Note that this is roughly the same time as The Promised End, at the end of Eldritch Moon block.
Malcolm nodded. "The object we're after is in Orazca, and it is known as the Immortal Sun. It used to be kept in the monasteries of Torrezon, in the kingdom that would eventually become the Legion of Dusk. For generations, it remained under the protection of its holy custodians in the mountains of the eastern continent.
"Its presence gave the old rulers incredible power," Malcolm continued. "Jealousies blossomed, and Pedron the Wicked's forces broke into the monastery where the Immortal Sun was kept safe and stole it. As they departed the sanctuary, a winged being descended from the sky. It took the Immortal Sun, carrying the relic across the sea and into the west. No living being knows its exact location, but this compass is meant to help us."
This is a heavy download. We already know from the Ixalan Plane Page  that both Mavren Fein and Vona are searching for Elenda, the first vampire and guardian of the Immortal Sun. Here we learn of Pedron the Wicked, who stole the Immortal Sun. Then a winged being descended from the sky...
You all know exactly who I think that winged being is.
I wonder what the timing here, is. The Player’s Guide puts the war the sparks the creation of the Dusk Legion at about 800 years ago, after Ugin is dead. But I wonder if the Immortal Sun wasn’t stolen earlier? And who were these rival factions? Was Pedron actually the predecessor to the Dusk Legion, or their enemy?
I also wonder if the lack of the Immortal Sun is what turned to Dusk Legion into vampires in the first place. Oh and hey, the Immortal Sun was left with monks, huh? That reminds me of someone...
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Flying Crane Technique by Jack Wang
@artcrit pointed out the coin on the forehead of this braided warrior on the ground, too.
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Call to the Feast by Yongjae Choi
If Ugin came to Ixalan, it would make sense that similar cultures and myths sprung up around him.
Of course, it might also be another draconic being that has been hinted at...
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"No reading my mind or the minds of my crew," Vraska said, "But everyone else is fair game. Except our employer, but I think he may be a better telepath than you."
"Do I know him?" Jace asked.
Vraska went quiet for a moment as they walked.
"No," she said finally.
"You paused."
Vraska crossed her arms. "We're from a large city."
So Vraska doesn’t know (or isn’t sure) if Jace knows Bolas. Also, he’s DEFINITELY a better Telepath.
"And I was a politician there?"
Vraska chuckled. "You were horrible."
"I imagine. I must have been forced into the job."
This exchange is golden, but there’s a hint of sadness as Vraska explains things to Jace. Will she really become Golgari guild leader, and if so, does Jace have to die for her to succeed?
"You weren't forced into anything. You had a great big campaign!" she said. "Flyers, stump speeches, banquets to fundraise. 'Jace is Ace!' was your slogan."
This really took a turn.
"What was our old city like?" Jace asked.
Vraska tilted her head in thought. "It is massive. Soaring towers and bridges that cross over layers and layers of city. It is colder than here, and it snows in the winter."
Did we know it snows on Ravnica? @sarpadianempiresvol-viii pointed this out to me.
The illusion vanished. But the look of guarded wonder on Vraska's face remained.
She was beautiful.
And so, in his way, Jace told her.
Oh god. Please, Jace doesn’t need to fall in love with every black-aligned woman planeswalker.
A massive lion with a man's face, eyes wide with horror, wailing like an infant on the rainy ground as he gasped for air and his wings dumbly thumped the ground.
It frightened Jace.
Jace has a vision of Alhammarret. In case you haven’t figured it out, his memories aren’t really gone, and this is a memory of something that should have been wiped from his mind a long time ago. 
Jace chose his words carefully.
"Existence is adaptation to changing circumstances. The self is an accumulation of what one has learned from those changing circumstances . . . Our agency gives us the means to alter our own path. You are who you decide to be. And who you will become depends only on how you choose to adapt."
This is a theme recently, as Ajani shares a similar perspective which is part of why he’s so against killing. It’s also a good rational for redemption.
"I wish I could forget like you have," Vraska said, hushed and small.
"What do you wish you could forget?" asked Jace.
Vraska's gaze was distant, locked on the horizon.
Jace knew immediately he had said both the wrong and the right thing.
Her response was terse. "Prisons."
Prisons, plural. This gets referenced again.
When they eventually took the blindfold off, I thought about trying to petrify myself to make it stop. But I wanted out more than I wanted to end.
This is... rough.
But the place I escaped to was a prison, too. I was trapped there, alone, for quite some time. Just me and all my memories of the source of all that cruelty.
At least we now know the void Vraska was trapped in is different than Ixalan. I wonder where she got stuck?
Vraska had finished her tea. A few bits of leaf were stuck to the inside of her cup. "'A person should die the death they deserve.' I lived by those words for quite some time. They gave me comfort."
"Do they still?" Jace asked.
Vraska's mouth was a hard line. "Yes."
They sat in silence for a moment.
"The part I haven't figured out yet is if they all deserve to die," Vraska said after some time. "My magic may lie in death, but I take no joy in killing. Before, I did it because I didn't have a choice otherwise. Now I have to do what is right for others like me."
Vraska’s evolving philosophy is interesting.
Also, note, that the entire Gatewatch (except Ajani) has a pretty big body count. Ain’t no judgment there.
But with their changing relationship, I’m wondering what will happen when Jace gets his memories back.
His theory went thus: the thaumatic compass worked by pointing toward a very specific type of magical expression. Small illusions didn't move the needle, but whatever it was that Jace could do (with effort) did.
If his theory were true, then the Golden City would have to be a massive hub of magical energy—and this compass would point directly toward its source.
Ah, my favorite part. I made a half-joke on Twitter the other day that the Planar Bridge might need a power source if it’s to transport the entire Eternal army. Maybe the Immortal Sun, like I suspect with Project Lightning Bug, has another purpose.
But there’s also the matter of the winged creature. If Ugin moved the Immortal Sun himself, it has to be important to him. I need some more information before I make more sweeping theories. I’m sure the Immortal Sun isn’t just a powerful artifact, there HAS to be more going on here behind the scenes.
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pikachugirltits · 7 years
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Michal Introduces her Characters: Fanwalker Quick Reference
Ok, so here’s a project I’ve been working on when I had some spare time over the course of the last few days. I like to make characters. It relaxes me and it’s a great way to stretch my creative muscles.So watching everyone else make their fanwalkers has inspired me to make my own. I’ve been coming up with ideas for something like a year now, and as a result I know have 22 fanwalkers of my own. Problem is that I haven’t really introduced them all to you. So here’s a quick guide to my fanwalkers. I’m hoping to eventually get around to writing a story starring some of these guys and gals. If you guys want to know more about anyone, just send me an ask!
Nakahara Hinata - W - Female Human miko (shrine priestess) from Kamigawa. Raised as a cleric of Terashi, the kami of the sun, and the Myojin of Cleansing Fire, she specializes in spirit channeling, healing, sealing magic and barriers.
Kota - U - Female Human archaeologist from Zendikar. Is traveling the multiverse studying the history of whatever planes she visits. Uses runes and other magical symbols to cast her magic, with her specialty being divination spells. Latina, because not everybody from Zendikar needs to be white and as a creator I acknowledge the importance of diversity, even if it’s just a fan character
Cadeyrn One-Horn - B - Male Elf from Lorwyn who uses poison magic to augment his swordsmanship. Was well beloved by the other elves for his beauty until an unfortunate hunting accident broke one of his horns. Now travels the multiverse performing acts of heroism solely for the sake of the fame and glory it gives him.
Kenna - R - Transgender Female Human who uses kinetic manipulation magic to enhance her speed and strength. Loves the freedom being a planeswalker gives her. Was originally going to be from a custom plane, but I’ve since retconned her into being from Dominaria.
Spiros Dimitirou - G - Male Human from Theros. Has a connection to the land that allows him to draw strength and stamina directly from it. He's black skinned as part of my goal to make my fanwalkers as diverse as I can.
Otakar - UG - Male Vedalken from Ravnica. Simic aligned biomancer. Travels the multiverse observing lifeforms on each plane to inspire new creations back home on Ravnica.
Ganzorig Thundershield - RW - Male Orc from Tarkir. First planeswalk was to Ravnica where he became a Boros soldier. Paladin who uses combat enhancement magic and lightning magic. Learning combat styles and tactics from across the multiverse to create an army back on Tarkir to defeat Kolaghan and revive the Mardu.
Marta Baumhauer - WU - Female Human from Innistrad. Had a twin sister named Ada who died when they were babies whose geist followed Marta around and grew up with her. Became a cathar shortly before the events of Shadows over Innistrad. Her Spark ignited during the Battle of Thraben while Ada was possessing her to protect her from Emrakul's influence and as a result Ada's gesit has become fused with Marta. Uses basic clerical magic from her cathar training but also can use magic to communicate with and control ghosts or channel their powers. Ada is able to manifest herself to help her sister as well, kind of like a Stand.
Resetyu - R - Female Khenra from Amonkhet. Uses sand magic, think of her powers as a mix of Gaara from Naruto and Crocodile from One Piece. Likes pulling pranks and telling jokes. Her Spark ignited a few years before the events of Amonkhet block so she was actually off plane when the Hours began.
Zuzka - RG - Female Goblin from Ravnica. A Gruul aligned druid. Uses magic to channel the power of various creatures, with her specialty being to transform herself into the creatures. You may know her if you follow my side blog....
Granny Ygg - GWU - Female Elder Treefolk from Lorwyn. A pre-Mending walker. Kind of the Big Good of my fanwalkers, she has many communities across the multiverse that she's sort of adopted as hers that she watches over. Granny Ygg is but one of many names she's gone by over the years and her personal favorite. It's short for Grandmother Yggdrasil.
Yashagoro - UB - Male Orochi from Kamigawa. Abandoned by his tribe at a young age, he was raised by a clan of ninjas. Uses various forms of ninja magic. Sells his services as a spy, assassin or sabotuer to clients across the multiverse. Works closely with Apurva.
Apurva - UB - An Aetherborn from Kaladesh. One of the rare life draining Aetherborn, became a Planeswalker when they drained a potential Planeswalker to death. The person's Spark ignited and was somehow drained into Apurva. Has an incredibly easy time planeswalking for some reason and each planeswalk seems to infuse them with aether and extends their lifespan. Uses magic to enhance their natural empathic abilities into fullblown telepathy and mind magic. Makes their living as an interplanar information broker. Works closely with Yashagoro.
Lord Anskrieg - WUB - Male Human from an unknown homeplane. A pre-Mending walker. Much like Liliana, he lived for thousands of years before the Mending happened, which caused his years to suddenly catch up. Too proud to sell his soul to a demon, he instead turned to a mix of dark rituals, alchemical experiments and infusions of healing magic to prolong his life any way necessary. As a result, his body and soul have become twisted into something that straddles the line between living and undead, and he's earned himself the nickname "the Living Litch." A tyrant who wishes to rebuild his empire, he's the Big Bad of my fanwalkers.
Gwendolyn - GUR - Transgender Female Half-Elf from Alara. Her father is an elf from Naya and her mother a mage from Bant. A traveling bard who collects legends from across the multiverse. Her magic is similar to Tamiyo's in that she channels the legends she learns to cast her spells, either by invoking legendary feats or by summoning the heroic spirits that performed them.
Miya - RW - Female Human (Auriok) from Mirrodin. Uses magic to create duplicates of any weapons she's seen. Is unable to return to Mirrodin because of severe PTSD. Inspired by Archer EMIYA from Fate/Stay Night.
Daichiyama - BR - Male Ogre from Kamigawa. Uses chaos and destruction magic. An anarchist who travels the multiverse solely for the purpose of spreading misery, suffering and chaos. Occasionally works for Lord Anskrieg. One of my villains.
Eckhart Glockner - WB - Male Human from Innistrad. A Skirsdag cultist that posed as a cathar. When his particular cell of cultists were discovered and attacked by the true church, his Spark ignited and he found himself before Lord Anskrieg. Has since become Anskrieg's loyal lieutenant. Weilds life and death magic with equal skill alongside his sword skills.
Ariane - BG - Female Human from Innistrad. Uses magic to control insects, arachnids, and other creepy crawly creatures. Was persicuted as a witch in her home village, and has since come to embrace the name "the Swarm Witch." Has found a new home on Ravnica with the Golgari.
Getsugan - UBR - Genderfluid Kitsune from an unknown homeplane. Not a humanoid kitsune like the ones from Kamigawa, but rather a traditional style kitsune that takes the default form of a nine-tailed fox the size of a horse. A pre-Mending walker and a natural shapeshifter. A wild card whose motives are hard to read. Their magic is based off of traditional kitsune tricks like illusions and curses.
Cypria - G - Female Elf from Mirrodin. Uses ranger/hunter magic. Her first planeswalk was to Innistrad where she became a werewolf. Her copper growths take the form of natural gauntlets that cover her hands and lower arms, and in werewolf form her claws are also coated in copper.
Oriana - B - Female Human from Fiora. Uses shadow manipulation magic. A street urchin who worked hard to climb her way up to being one of the best spies/assassin in Paliano until she was betrayed by a client. Her name means "gold" and she chose it herself to remind herself of her own worth. When on other planes she uses Paliano as a surname.
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swampgallows · 7 years
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why do you like garrosh so much pt. 2
to expand a little bit (okay a lot) on anon’s question (which, again, I could do until i typed the skin off my fingers), i will EMBARRASSINGLY ADMIT that i have a 40k+ word ffffaaaannn fiiiiccctiioonnn ive been writing for almost a year now that delves into a lot of my ~headcanon~ and self-indulgence regarding garrosh and his character. i began writing it in the first place to try to identify what my feelings were about him, just stream of consciousness as most of my writing goes. but it got longer and longer, and i tried to make it in reference to a second person, to an amorphous “you”. from there it became a reader-insert story for cathartic garbage (or catharbage as i endearingly refer to it) with about ten different notepad docs dedicated to it and its many drafts. one of these docs is a series of notes to further attempt to analyze my own thinking. the contents are below. es muy largo (over 2k words, plus a 500 word chatlog).
AUTHOR'S NOTES: I had begun playing World of Warcraft in late 2005 and quit in early 2009, just before the release of The Secrets of Ulduar/the Argent Tournament (Patch 3.1.0, released April 2009). Most of my playtime occurred while I was in high school, and upon my first year of college/university I felt I needed to close that chapter of my life and move on.
I kept zero tabs on the goings-on of WoW or those who still played. Something about dragons, goblins, canon pandaren. I was slaving my way through college, mental illness, and abusive relationships (if I had to grade my quality of Self during this time, I’d say it was hovering around the low-C, high-D range).
In September of 2014, I started a new job, had long finished college, and escaped my abusers. Inevitably I returned to Azeroth, and thus a new chapter of my life began.
The culture shock was jarring, to say the least.
Not only was I flooded with a deluge of high school memories, obsolete items (hunter ammo, anyone?), and a friends list like a graveyard (some names legitimately of the deceased), I had to play catch-up for two and a half expansions and five solid years' worth of content. I jumped haphazardly throughout the zones, surveying the damage from the Cataclysm (atop my flying mount!), exploring old raids, and leveling my then-capped 80 main to 90 in preparation for the new Draenor. 
Polar Bear Syndrome took hold in the form of Garrosh Hellscream. He was everywhere and nowhere all at once, name-dropped constantly but tangibly elusive, yet I didn't for the life of me piece together who that was (no thanks to that atrocious, beady-eyed Cataclysm model). Apparently he was the new Warchief ("where is Thrall?!" became a growing concern) but it took a skim through WoWWiki to realize this warmongering bigot was, apparently, the same Overlord of the Warsong Offensive in Borean Tundra that I recalled from many years ago; the "same Garrosh that spent half his life crying into a campfire in Outland", quoth WoWhead user TGFseb15.
I spent over a year trying to digest this character shift. On top of everything else, due to some sleep aids I was trying out at the time, the “Polar Bear” sightings of Garrosh extended into my dreams. I did hours of reading and research, questions becoming insurmountable rather than answered. How did this happen? Why was he like this? Why is he showing up in my dreams? Of course, all this racking of my brain resulted in more dreams, more conundrums. 
In October 2016 I began writing this story in lieu of being able to talk to the man (orc?) himself and ask, "Dude, WTF happened?". In attempting to reconcile my feelings, I had to sacrifice my wishful thinking for who and what the <Son of Hellscream> from all those years ago had become, and accept what had drawn me to him initially: his instability and his depression.  
Garrosh's core character, from all that I can gather, is that he is unstable and miserable. From start to finish, Garrosh is miserable. It is the only way I can imagine the descent of a fearful, suicidal orphan into the fully hardened numbness and apathy and hatred of a genocidal sociopath.
However, I am not attempting to garner any sympathy for Warchief Hellscream (or even the Overlord Hellscream of the Wrath era). My wish fulfillment and "head canon" extends only as far as my attempts to rationalize the myriad conflicting storylines Garrosh was subject to throughout the years and unify them into one semi-coherent character. 
I love that Garrosh was canonically chronically ill as a child (I was too); I love that he was (is?) mentally ill (I was/am too); I love that Garrosh is one of the major canon explorations of the less-than-glorious ramifications of war on an individual level, as memorable to me as the quest for Mankrik's wife. 
When I first played through Burning Crusade ten years ago, I thought his presence was an Easter egg, a callback to those who had played through Warcraft 3 and remember Grom’s sacrifice to ask themselves, “What about those who remember life before the demon blood? Is Grom truly a hero, or is he simply repaying a debt?” (As many a comedian have put it, there is applause for recovery; there is no applause for never having been an addict.)
And to have Grommash’s son, of all potential critics, take the brunt of that, was a bold and interesting consideration. On top of everything it reconnected Thrall to his family: his true name, his biological grandmother, and his “nephew” Garrosh (although by all accounts Garrosh cannot possibly be younger than Thrall). But it also introduced a kind of storyline that I hadn’t seen previously in WoW: we didn’t get a quest to lead Garrosh from the village and make his death look like an accident; we didn’t challenge him for leadership; we didn’t stage a coup; we didn’t even accept the role of Mag’hari chieftain when he offered it to us (unlike our veneration in Ogri’la). Everyone asked you to simply do what Garrosh, “The Impotent Leader”, could not. He was incompetent, but he was protected. He, like everyone else in his village, is doing his best to survive in spite of his affliction, be it physical or mental destitution.
I remember thinking he was Geyah’s son/grandson until the reveal that Garad was her husband, and Durotan her son. Yet from her quest text she had so much faith in Garrosh that I was convinced they were related, especially because he had no faith in himself.
There are three pieces of quest text that have stuck out to me and remain lodged in my brain over the years, paraphrased as follows:
• “Curse you, and curse your ancestors! Only blood can cool my rage, so if that is your wish then... Throw yourself into the heart of the Skullsplitters in the east. [...] May he tear off your limbs and leave you to rot and be eaten by carrion.” — Speaking with Gan’zulah, a defunct quest part of the Saving Yenniku questline • “If you are ever captured by Legion, tell them ‘Xar il romath da tidesbi.’ They will kill you instantly for insulting their god, sparing you intolerable torture or worse.” — Commander To’arch, Hellfire Peninsula [I once posted this line in a creepypasta thread on /x/ circa 2007 lmao] • “Everyone is proud. Proud that we may live to see another winter. But beyond that, what is there? Maybe you should lead this clan, [Arete]. Maybe then I will be allowed to die when the Greatmother passes. Allowed to finally erase the shame of my family name. I long for such peace.” — The Inconsolable Chieftain, [now] penultimate quest in the Garadar questline
You see where I'm going with this.
The only other quest I can think of that stirred such morbid anguish in me comparable to Garrosh’s was the starting quest in Tirisfal Glades where you collect duskbat wings/pelts to stitch into blankets for Gretchen Dedmar, who is succumbing to the chill of Mindlessness/reverting to Scourge. Until WotLK, the motif of “hopelessness” was not one I had personally seen much of in WoW, despite playing a Forsaken. There were sad, sentimental moments. But moments of failure, of bleak resignation, were few and far between. And the most that I did find were in reference to the Scourge or major events that had already occurred (Stratholme, the Sundering, etc.). 
Garrosh and Mankrik’s problems were domestic; pedestrian, almost, like gathering the cactus apples in Razor Hill or disrupting the love triangle of trolls at Swamprat Post. Most of all, they were personal. Mankrik wanted his wife to come home safe. Garrosh does not want to turn out like his father. Mankrik must defend his home from angry quilboar and marauding centaur. Garrosh must defend his village from invading ogres while resisting the urge to off himself for the sake of his people.
And, again, because I main a Forsaken, my WotLK starting zone was Howling Fjord (this is also what I played in the LK beta). I must have done the Borean Tundra quests in a blur because I have no memory of them from that time period, other than Kalu’ak dailies, DEHTA quests, and Saurfang and Garrosh’s conversation in the foyer of Warsong Hold. [Note: I have very little memory of 2009-2010 for other reasons. Reasons much like The Inconsolable Chieftain. And by that I mean suicidal depression. HAHA.] Other than that, I gave Garrosh little to no concern during my few months of WotLK. I saw that Blizzard had carried Garrosh over from the portal to Azeroth to assist in Northrend, and I took it in the same type of stride as “Oh, how nice of them to include this Easter egg for the players. The orc we saved followed Thrall into Azeroth." I had also, apparently, missed the mak’gora.
But it's not as if I had forgotten about Garrosh; I did work my way to becoming exalted with the Mag'har during Burning Crusade to earn a talbuk, and I spent countless hours outside Garadar fishing up and cooking poached bluefish for my raiding boyfriend at the time. “Trading kandi with ogres” was how I referred to grinding obsidian warbeads for rep. And every time I went past the campfire to Warden Bullrok to turn them in, I would /hug Garrosh (and stick around for the Thrall event, should it have been ongoing). 
And Garrosh did not forget about me, either. 
Do not think that I have forgotten what you did for my people in Nagrand, [Arete]. Hellscream never forgets. For that I am indebted to you and it is why I give you this chance now: run. Leave this place and never look back. Return to your home and say a prayer for the dying. (x)
Garrosh apparently talked a lot of big game in WotLK, but I did not bear any witness to it before quitting. I had barely made it into Sholazar Basin and did not touch Icecrown, the Storm Peaks, or Wintergrasp. So the way I interpreted this opening statement from Hellscream was him admitting to me, his friend, someone that he knew he could trust, who knew him as he was before, that he was afraid. After all of Thrall’s encouragement, and Garrosh getting the confidence to leave his village and give himself to the Horde, feeling his namesake redeemed, feeling a future was possible, Garrosh was still terrified. “You got roped up in my business once before, and I am thankful it worked out for the both of us. But I got myself into this mess and I cannot have you bail me out again.” He took a leap in a rogue moment of assurance and then, upon settling back into his depressive median, steps back and thinks, “I have made a terrible mistake.” (>when youre feeling good and make plans >when those plans actually arrive and you have to be social)
This is further heightened by Garrosh’s response to the player if they have not completed the quest chain:
A hero of the Horde, eh? <Garrosh sniffs at the air around you.> Fear... <Garrosh spits.> You won't last long. (x)
He himself is most definitely afraid. But he does not trust you, so this is how he tells you. He accuses you. He affirms this aloud, for himself, passing the blame to you. Anyone would fear standing at the Lich King’s doorstep, most certainly an orc who has known starvation and disease and death and shame, but also blue skies and white clouds and bright sunshine.
The red of Durotar was dismal enough. The gray endless death is even more difficult to bear.
And so, this is the mindset and place where my story begins: after Burning Crusade, after the first mak’gora with Thrall, after the summit in the comics, after clawing their way through the kvaldir and erecting Warsong Hold, but before Garrosh and Saurfang’s conversation, and before the rest of the Horde reinforcements (the players) arrive. I wanted to capture that tenuous period of Garrosh’s ego boost having only barely thrust him out of his dysthymic doldrums, still wrestling with his twenty-plus years of self-resentment, still trying neurotypicality (for lack of a better word) on for size like a garment in need of tailoring. Garrosh yearns to run with the pack but is a coyote among wolves.
This is the Garrosh I knew and remembered. So when I came back to Azeroth... well, you know the rest.
==============
Valkosk - 01/17/2017 It was Garrosh first command experience where he was trying to prove himself amongst his war seasoned clan that he had the brutal edge needed to command the Warsong or Blizzard's writing team didn't think about over arching storyline for their individual heroes. Might be that second one. Keelhaul - 01/17/2017 All he did in Warsong Hold was turtle. He literally brags about it. Arete - 8:52 PM
Keelhaul - 2:43 PM Boreal Tundra Garrosh to player: "I hate you. I'm ignoring everybody who wants to help/needs our help. Later, I'll send you on a suicide mission." Borean Tundra Saurfang to player: "Ignore Garrosh, he's being a bitch again. Here is how you can help us, and also there are others you can probably help in the other room. Later, I'll go behind Garrosh's back to save you from death." Saurfang is the true hero of the Warsong Offensive. Seriously, every quest in that zone comes down to "we need to clean up Garrosh's mess" or "Garrosh is refusing to do anything productive, so we need to go help _ ourselves."
SOURCE? cause garry told ME to go home & pray for my family because he loves me
Keelhaul - 9:05 PM [links the Foolish Endeavors quest dialogue]
Arete - 9:13 PM wtf is a flenser is varidus an elite? is that why you say he sends you to your death alone? or do other npcs call it a suicide mission? i gotta get my characters up to 70 so i can play through the wotlk campaigns again its been almost 10 years since i did saurfang is such a good dad omg
Keelhaul - 9:17 PM You deliver him intelligence some of the Forsaken spies died to deliver, basically saying that a Necrolord is found and such-and-such place. They ask Garrosh for help, he says "I'm just going to send you." The one Forsaken agent spying on him is stunned to learn that you're the only one coming to help, so he moreorless just assumes you're both going to die. The fight begins, and it's immediately obvious that you can't win. The boss stuns both of you, tells an assistant to take you away. The assistant reveals himself as Saurfang, and then basically carries you for the whole fight.
Arete - 9:18 PM damn saurfang is such a fuckin bro garry trusts me because i am strong
Keelhaul - 9:20 PM He's a tool to everyone who didn't see him as a bitch in Nagrand. :stuck_out_tongue:
Arete - 9:21 PM fuckin yikes!!! he was a lil bitch but i was too some of us were beginning our descents into mental illness alongside Garrosh <Son of Hellscream> in Garadar :sob: i mean there's no denying he's a piece of shit idiot post-wotlk he's an incorrigible racist asshole in pandaria it really sucked fo rme to find a character i identified with 10 years prior had been taken down the route he was i had quit wow before the release of ulduar & came back in WoD because i heard there would be new models. i knew nothing about the new xpac storyline or anything that had transpired past black temple so IMAGInE MY SURPRISE WHEn A CHARACTER I THOUGHT WAS JUST An EASTER EGG FOR OnE OF THE MOST MEMORABLE QUESTLInES In ALL OF TBC IS REVEALED TO LITERALLY BE A GEnOCIDAL FASCIST DICTATOR "hey things worked out well for hellscream!!! maybe, despite my depression, things can work out for me too!" 'HAHA nOOOOO BITCH' its just so sad, like what a shame :frowning: im still tryna cope
[end log]
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Narrating Combat in D&D
Combat descriptions are always difficult to come up with on the fly. Here is a guide with some tips and tricks to make your combat more interesting and dramatic!
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image credit: Michael Komarck
Hit Points
When a creature or player gets hit by an attack, think about the situation surrounding the attack. Has the creature already taken damage? Figure out how much damage is being dealt before describing the attack. Is it a lot of damage or a little? How tough is the defender? is it merely a pinprick to them or a grievous wound? No matter how you slice it, hits always come back to one thing: Hit Points.
So something important that you should know about Hit Points: just because you subtracted "Hit Points" and they took "damage" doesn't necessarily mean you actually drew blood. Most people always default to "you stab them in the face/chest/neck." Well that's a pretty gruesome and very lethal hit. Most creatures would probably just flat-out die from that. This isn't a Tom & Jerry cartoon where creatures squash and stretch to absorb the damage.
To help ease into a creature's eventual demise over a large span of Hit Points, try describing nonlethal ways that creatures and players "take damage." Have each attack wear down the creature. Only draw blood when a player lands multiple blows or rolled a high attack or damage roll (basically when the player feels good about their attack) or when they fall below half hit points. That's why we use the term "bloodied," after all! Here are some examples of some pre-bloodied attacks:
Your deft swordplay is wearing out the defender as they struggle to parry your strikes!
The creature is backed into a corner, its options for defenses running thin!
Their weapon is buffeted by your blows and knocked away. Now's your chance!
The horseman is knocked from their mount, leaving them battered and bruised as they roll back to their feet!
Your ambush forces the orc to deflect your dagger with their bare hand to save itself. It yowls in pain!
Your mace clobbers the knight upside its head, dazing them as a metallic sound reverberates through their helmet! Backpedal in confusion.
The wizard wrinkles their brow as they deflect your attack with a hasty shield, this one weaker than the last. Their concentration seems to be failing!
Once a creature is bloodied, then you can start with the more lethal attacks. Save the head, neck, chest, and femoral artery hits for when the creature is about to die. But by all means, stab them in the kidneys, flay some muscle from their arm, chop off one of their antennae or extra limbs. Don't be afraid to impart status debuffs for certain hits (even if the attack wasn't necessarily a crit). For instance, if they take a leg wound they might have slightly reduced speed as they limp around the battlefield. Perhaps you cut off their hand or shot out an eye, rendering the part useless until they receive magical healing. Here are a list of almost-lethal places where I like to describe hits that works for most humanoids:
Hit Table (1d10):
1: Eyes: blind them for 1 round if just one eye, or permanently if both.
2: Ears: deafen them for 1 round if just one ear, or permanently if both.
3: Hand/Fingers: deny them the use of that hand. If they wield a two-handed weapon, they do so with disadvantage.
4: Arms: if just a wound, give them -1 to attacks with that arm. If the limb is chopped off, obviously they can't use it.
5: Legs: half their speed. Reduce their speed to 5 ft. if the limb is chopped clean off.
6: Belly: reduce their speed by 5 ft. and give them the Poisoned condition.
7: Lower Back: no major negative impact, but they shouldn't lift any heavy objects for 6-8 weeks.
8: Side Torso: no major negative impact, but they should definitely have that looked at for internal damage.
9: Shoulder: no major negative impact. Make sure they wear a sling so it heals properly.
0: Butt: hilarity ensues. They can't sit down without immense pain.
Misses
Yes, it's really fun to hit with an attack and roll high damage dice, but people oftentimes will remember a great missed attack just as fondly. In fact, a DM that doesn't describe a miss could risk making that player feel left out or frustrated if they miss often. So make the misses memorable and dramatic.
Keep in mind what sort of weapon they were using when they missed, or what sort of things in the environment maybe got hit instead. Heck, maybe a miss might help their situation if they break something that puts them on the advantage! Maybe they hit a support beam instead of the gnoll. You have them roll for damage, and it's a huge amount! The support beam snaps and rocks from the old mine start to cave in a 20 ft. radius! Have everyone roll DEX saves!
Something like that works especially well on a critical failure. Always describe a critical failure in a special way, maybe imposing a debuff on the person who missed or changing the situation somehow. A comical gaffe is always welcome here, as well.
Critical Miss Ideas:
Attacker strikes a nearby object instead
Attacker's weapon becomes damaged or broken (unless it's a magical item)
Attacker's weapon becomes stuck or disabled for their next turn (maybe a sword stuck in a log or a jammed crossbow)
Defender knocks the weapons from the attacker's grasp
Attacker accidentally strikes themselves for half the normal damage
Defender rolls out of the way, repositioning themselves behind the attacker.
Personality
Accentuate the creature’s personality by characterizing HOW they perform certain actions. A duelist might stab precisely for your thigh, but an ogre might swing a club clumsily. This can lead to comical gaffes, like the duelist yelling “ha-HA! ...oh?” as their sword slips past you and they fall on their face, despite you just calling their strike precise. The ogre can easily miss their swing and because of the clumsiness you described causing them to follow through and spin around, getting dizzy and confused for a turn.
Consider how the creature is reacting to their current Hit Point status. Do they clutch at their wound? Do they punch their wound and roar at their attacker? Are they unphased by their wound like an undead? Are they on the ground writhing in pain?
Diving into the character of an enemy will help you guide both their combat decisions and how you narrate the action. Here are some common fighting personality tropes:
Cocky: A cocky creature is fearless, but to an extent where they may make mistakes. They will also likely taunt their enemies.
Clumsy: Big, dumb creatures or drunken brawlers will not pay any heed to their surroundings, maybe even be easier to fall prone or fall for combat tricks.
Stoic: A stoic creature is likely able to notice everything in combat as they approach the battle logically and without emotion. Think highly-trained warriors like knights or samurai.
Fearful: A fearful attacker is actively trying to get away from or avoid combat.
Fearless: A fearless creature is what you typically see of a heroic attacker.
Gleeful: A gleeful attacker delights in violence and will do whatever they can to cause pain.
Angry: An angry attacker will fight recklessly without regard to their surroundings.
Hungry: A hungry creature is looking for a meal. If they get seriously hurt, they will likely just leave to find easier prey.
Confused: A confused creature will be on the defensive. It wasn't planning on fighting today.
Environment
Use the environment to guide combat. Even if your players aren’t clever enough to utilize the environment, that doesn’t exclude the enemies! And hey, if players witness what the enemies are doing, maybe they will learn to follow suit or just be inspired to fight more creatively. I actually had an NPC fighting alongside the players one time. They went into a cave with some bugbears around a smoldering campfire. He first kicked some of the embers up into one of the bugbears’ eyes, blinding them for a turn. Then he kicked a bugbear over a log and face-first into the fire. The other players were simply on autoattack mode, but were thankful for the debuffs provided by the creative use of environment.
I can't really provide a complete list for this, as there are nigh-infinite combinations of generic objects that can be used to gain an upper-hand, but here is a link to one of my older posts about using environmental factors in combat!
For more content on narrating spellcasting in combat, check out this post!
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So. Last night was a thing. Probably the most emotional Session of D&D I’ve ever had the pleasure (?) to be a part of. It’s been almost 18 hours, including a solid 6 of sleep and 7 at work, and I’m still replaying it in my head. Spoilers for HotDQ below the cut. 
For some background, the party that I’m in had just finished running through Horde of the Dragon Queen. Prior to killing Blagathos, The Giant who runs the flying castle, and the White Dragon in the basement we came across Rezmir, the black half dragon, and killed her. 
Rezmier had two very interesting items. The first of which was a black dragon mask that allowed the wearer (once attuned) to add their Charisma Modifier to their AC and allowed the wearer one Legendary Resistance, the ability to choose to succeed a saving throw, once per day. The other was a sentient sword named Hazirwan. The party didn’t know much about Hazirwan, but the barbarian, who had always been an honest guy and probably the most well liked member of the party, assured us that Hazirwan was fine and with the lifestyle that we led he’d have no problem keeping Hazirwan happy. We walked away from the confrontation with Rezmir with the barbarian wearing the mask and holding Hazirwan. 
So, we killed the dragon. It was harrowing and left my druid pretty traumatized (her entire tribe had been wiped out by a dragon and this dragon nearly tpk’d us twice). We leapt from the castle as it crashed, wizard casting fly and featherfall where necessary so that we could fall without dying. 
After some good comforting RP and a party member deciding he was going to head home when we got to a village (player wanted to bring in a new character) we set off on the road to Longsaddle, only about a 3 day walk from where we landed. 
We literally had to drag our Kenku rogue along because the poor girl wanted to go back for the rest of the dragon’s Hoard that we didn’t get a chance to take. (It should be noted that the Barbarian found some bracers of defense in there and attuned to them, so he’s now attuned to the bracers, the black dragon mask, and Hazirwan). On the walk we learned some interesting things about our halfling wizard (that lore deserves its own post). 
On the way to Longsaddle we happened upon some Orcs or Ogres (I forget which), and it was a breeze. Went through them like a hot knife through butter. But this is where the trouble started. See, the Barbarian entered a rage, as Barbarians are wont to do when fighting, but didn’t happen to record a kill during that battle. As the Kenku took the final shot with her shortbow the Barbarian screamed “Let me take MY PREY”(or something to that effect) but being D&D the Kenku took her shot and killed it. 
The Barbarian, holding Hazirwan, beared down on the little Kenku rogue and unleashed 2 hellish blows with the sword on her. Hazirwan was demanding a kill, and a kill immediately. And we were the only prey available. And the Kenku, who normally is the barbarian’s best friend out of combat, had taken his kill. So. The race was on to stop the Barbarian from running through the entire party. The Barbarian, who by the way, had quietly built his AC up to 21. 
Again. The Barbarian prior to last night was probably everybody in the party’s favorite. He’s the first person my Druid met after a falling out with a previous party and her first real friend she had made in over a decade. He held the affection of both our wizard and our cleric. The closest relationship in the party to this point has been the friendship built up between the kenku rogue and the barbarian. 
So the encounter began with people simply trying to subdue the Barbarian. But it quickly became clear that outside of strong attacks at full measure and magic stopping him from killing all but the strongest members of our party, there wasn’t much that could be done. He had used his one Legendary Resistance to buck a Hold Person spell by my druid and by that point he had KO’d the Rogue and had moved on to KO’ing the wizard. So the next time my turn came around I decided to go offense and try to knock him out. I didn’t succeed, but did a healthy amount of damage with a call lightening spell.
The brutal nature of the fight, and the Barbarian’s great AC didn’t not help the fact that for a while nobody could roll for shit. Until something awful happened. The player behind the Barbarian was very tight lipped about how the Barb was looking, so we kept bringing big guns. Finally, the Cleric critted. With an Inflict Wounds. At Third Level. And rolled Max Damage (or close). For a grand total of 70 damage. 70 damage on the man she loved. When he had 5hp left and a 65 max hp. Insta death. 
Insta death with no diamonds for Revivify and with the player behind the Barbarian telling us that even if we did have one after realizing what he’d done in the moments of his death the Barbarian wouldn’t want to come back. 
My Druid ran into the woods to sob alone while the party convened and tried to figure out what to do. Just days earlier she had told the party, the Barbarian specifically, how good it was to have friends again. 
The Kenku, when she awoke, broke down. Her first friend had stabbed her in the back. She explained through tears that the reason she was so greedy is she worked with adventurers in the past and they’d all eventually turned on each other for gold, so if you had the gold you had the power. She sobbed that she thought we were different, but obviously she was wrong. Her best friend stabbed her in the back and we killed him because of loot. 
The fighter explained to her that it was the sword, the sword had curropted him,the sword was evil. He then destroyed the sword and got to work digging a grave.
The cleric cast Speak with Dead just to beg the fallen Barbarian for forgiveness and to tell him we forgave him, she refused to allow him to be buried in the off chance we could make it to town in time to resurrect him. 
The session ended with the group deciding to bring him with us to Longsaddle in hopes that maybe he could be brought back. My druid is still in the woods crying against a tree. 
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cloudcreates · 7 years
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i saw only a few draws of yanya but i want to know more about him :
kicks the door in WELL my friend ur in LUCK bc i have a LOT of shit abt yanya to talk abt
let’s kick it off with his backstory SHALL WE
so ! yanyas a lil kitsune boi raised in a little village in the outskirts of karnosea on famia, we dont have a name for it yet its not important w/e ANYWAY
he was BORN in a bigger town in central karnosea which i also dont have a name for but its also not important, what IS important is that he was a happy lil gremlin for most of his little babby years until he hit about elementary school where all the other kids’ parents started teaching them to be racist towards orcs and kitsunes and lizardfolk n shit! so they started being little shits towards him. which made him not like being in fox shape around them anymore. or in general.
so when his mums, shiranuit, a kitsune barbarian, and resnerina, a half-orc witch, were like “fuck that shit,” they moved away to that much smaller settlement, made up almost Entirely of rarer races like catfolk and wyvaran, and also orcs and ogres and stuff yea
and things were p alright! yanyas mums love him Very Much ok i love them and i love him and they all love each other. shiranuit works as a weaponsmith, and resnerina works as a luthier. so when u mashed their work together, u got yanya, a skald, or Basically a rage bard, who makes all his weapons and instruments, bc he makes his weapons into instruments, and vice versa.
his first weapon in game was a heavy mace that doubled as a guitar! it was crafted from metal ofc but its body was in the shape of a cow skull bc that shit’s metal. on one side was the guitar all strung up, and on the other he’d flip it around and it’s just Covered in spikes for him to beat the shit out of whatever 8)c
he uses his music to express himself. even with cure and mending magic, destroying things and lashing out and being aggressive all the time doesn’t make him feel good, so he’ll usually just turn to screaming out some sick tunes instead. his music’s very important to him.
moving back to early life however! he moved on through school pretty easy. i mean. not Entirely too easily bc the boy’s dumb as a brick so w/e he just. he didnt flunk out at the very least ok Cs get degrees anyway
and when he was abt.. 16, 17, he met ash!  his first..and Only girly friend who’s also a kitsune, and a gunslinger! between the two of them, she’s kind of.. the ‘brains’ but. even then she’s not like, super smart. it’s just.. not hard to be smarter than yanya w/ that sweet 7 WIS and 10 INT score lmfao. she’s plenty clever tho!
around this time yanya and ash didn’t go to school, they travelled around their local part of karnosea causing a little trouble here and there bc well. they’re of chaotic alignment. however! chaotic good alignment, so they really only gave hell to..racists 8) .. bc fuck em
the thing is though, while yanya had two mums that loved him a lot, ash didn’t. she had one mum that sucked a bunch and constantly berated her, and yanya knew, it was partially why they spent so much time just carting around wildly, having fun, bc yanya knew she deserved better!
as a side note, karnosea is neighboring artorias, which is the Big Capital of famia, where Queen Azaroa has opened a bard college! probably the best and most chattered abt all over the world tbh. you can bet yanya’s heard of it by now, being as musically inclined as he is, and has always sort of dreamed of going there.. but shit, he and his fam ain’t making that kind of money, lmfao
but! it just so happens, as rumors say, there’s a new scholarship surfacing, offered specifically to members of more. rare races, such as kitsunes! yanya can’t lie about his interest being piqued..
but the thing was, from 16 going on 18, he was sort of perfectly happy and content just travelling around like a rascal with ash, because they were best friends!! and having fun!! and without yanya, he thought ash would be all alone with her fuckin mean ass mum!! he didn’t want that, and also that bard college is probably overrated anyway, whatever..
ash’s mum isn’t having any of it, wtf ash is happy??  
the second ash and yanya get back home from whatever little bout of travel they were on, ash’s mum goes on a tirade at ash about how she’s dragging yanya down and holding him back, how she’s not good enough for him, etc.. so ash panics, because she knows he isn’t going to leave her unless she makes him never wanna see her again.
so! that same day, ash tells yanya about. how she’s been cheating on him the whole time. laughs in his face. tells him he should’ve expected it, kitsunes are known for being tricksters, liars after all!
he’s heartbroken.. so he leaves for artorias in a shocked daze probably not a full 12 hr later 
and he gets accepted to the college!
ofc being kinda poor and rough around the edges, it’s not without it’s fair share of. snooty ass rich kids being assholes, which is whatever. turns out tho, some of those rich kids are from karnosea! so because yanyas as subtle as an airhorn, rumors about him not being human spread. guess who gets to deal with racist school peers all over again! yaaaay
it’s not totally bleak, though. at college yanya met jonavahn, neyla, pazzoch, and a bunch of the other rare-race scholarship kids and they all form their own little nestled group of friends :’>
soo because yanya’s fuckin shit at like, learning, he like, does kind of piss poor in all the actual study-centric classes lmfao. but! he’s fantastic at the physical side of things–he excels with playing instruments and melee fighting, because it’s less read-a-book-and-study and more muscle memory and physical training and practice, ofc. he just barely graduated bc getting half amazing grades and half shitty grades only balances out to so much, but dAMMIT HE DID IT
so when he graduates, he goes back home for a little bit. im sure while he was at college, he managed to visit his mums back at karnosea for a little bit on breaks, but. just the idea of going back to karnosea, just knowing that. it’s where ash was. it made it a lot harder in practice than it was in theory for him lmfao.
but being back home, getting to see him mums again! it makes him really happy! because his mums love him a lot !!! and love and support him a shit ton!! they’re so proud! look at their son that graduated from the artorian queen’s bard college! holy shit!!
yanya realizes sometimes that he takes his mums for granted.. they’ve always been there to makes him feel like everything’s ok. and they do a damn good job of it! 
 a fun fact! lershe, my old incompetence quest 1 character, is a half-orc monk–by the end of iq1, he became a lycanthrope (this was in dnd 3.5, so monks could still get infected by lycanthropy), and also a lvl 30 minor deity lmfao
lershe was separated from his dad, who was raising him on his own, at a v young age. at the end of iq1, lershe sought him out, found him again, and found out that he’d started a new family with a new wife! and tbh lershe met his mum in iq1 he could not be happier for his dad lmfao. but they have a daughter! so lershe has a little half-sister! and that little half-sister is resnerina!
because lycanthropes and kitsunes share a sort of similar ability in changing shape ya kno yeah, when yanya was a little kid, lershe was still “alive” as a mortal half-orc (lershe put off accepting that he was an immortal deity for a long time) and. was a big inspiration for yanya, naturally. these kids and people were giving him shit for being able to change shape into something that resembled an animal, but his uncle lershe can do it to, and HE’S a god!! so whatever!!
anyway so iq2 started off by all the characters running into each other in a little town in karnosea and some shit abt a cave off the outskirts of town getting ransacked by mercenaries or smth, idr
a little before then our DM said txeru and yanya were going to enter town together, and aria and karrina were going to enter town together, and we could come up w/ whatever reason why they’d end up together so txeru and yanya met first actually, just outside on town in a little tavern where they. probably got into a little scuffle just bc bar fights are fun. who cares. its fine. 
its ironic bc right now, in game, txeru and yanya are fucking pissed at each other! and its great. the drama is clearing my skin. my crops are prospering. 
basically txeru is a kasatha, an alien race not native to famia, and he’s come to famia trying to hide from two .. sort of alien police that’re after him for all the petty crimes he’s done. thing is, these two Very Specific alien cops are after him because. he kinda. was romantically involved with Both of them, one being his partner in crime and the other being of kasathan royalty–when he was backed into a corner and about to get caught he kind of ditched his partner and left the noble out high and dry so they’re both PISSED at him
they recently made their way to famia and found txeru, and after we TURNED TAIL AND RAN THE FUCK OFF from them, txeru explained his story
having his heart fucking shattered by ash, yanya kinda wasn’t super happy to find out txeru was a heart-shattering asshole himself! 
so he DECKED HIM IN THE FACE and hadn’t spoken a kind word to him in like, a week
NOW they’re talking, it’s just. every word they say to each other is some variant of “fuck you” and atm we’re waiting for a boiling point to hit to see if they’ll kiss and make up or if they’re just gonna have to hate each other! 8) im so excited
meanwhile this entire time, we’re level 10 right now. so half way to the capstone level 20. 
yanya still hasn’t formally revealed that he’s a kitsune to anyone in the group. but! as i said. the boy’s subtle as a brick thrown through a window. he’s slipped up enough times in his human disguise for just about everyone in the party to catch just a little something being off about him, but since most of the party is from artorias, away from the rarer races of karnosea, not everyone knows what a kitsune is
BUT we HAVE met a kitsune in game! madame fouxy (blame my dm for that name), but even then she only shifted from an actual fox shape to anthro fox shape, not to human shape. so they’re still unaware that kitsunes can even do that atm, meaning yanya’s ruse is hanging on by a thread lmfao
he’d just come out and say it bc he’s well aware everyone’s probably seen through him by now, but. it’s suppose to be a secret. knowing that everyone knows doesn’t make him wanna tell it, it makes him wanna convince everyone they’re wrong, even though they’re right, and he doesn’t like lying ,and if everyone’s already figured it out already, then he’s not doing a good job at keeping his own damn secrets, which freaks him out, and… etc
yanya’s favorite colors are red and blue, his favorite food is smoked rabbit, he’s 6′2″ flat on his heels in human shape, but he’s wearing stilettos bc he’s use to toe walking in fox-shape, which usually puts him up to about 6′4″, 6′5″..
he’s got a shit ton of muscle, and he eats a lot to keep up his energy! so he has his fair share of fat w a soft belly. he weighs probably anywhere from 250-300 bc im not good w weights lmfao
he has a total of.. 14 piercings, four on each ear, one on each eyebrow, two on his lips, one on his nose, and one on his tongue, almost all of which he got at the bard college lmfaoo
atm at level 10, he has 5 tails! only one spell-like ability from them, however, which is disguise self. 
he knows how to sew!
he has a fear of mirrors and heights.
it’s less a ‘fear’ and more. he doesn’t like looking at himself in the mirror, practically can’t stand it when he’s in human shape. seeing his human face all he can think is “liar, liar, liar” because that’s not his ‘real’ face. seeing his fox face he’s only reminded how much fewer people would rather see him this way. if he has to, he’ll much prefer looking at his fox face, however.
AND I THINK..THAT MAY JUST COVER IT..if it’s not everything it’s Pretty close, and if i come up w anything new ur probably gonna see me draw it at some point LMFAO
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thelivingone · 7 years
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Part 0 - Meet Clara Tremaine
As in every video game, character creation is one of the most vital parts. This is where the player decides not only who they want to be within the game but also how they want to play it. Like a lot of games, Arcanum offers three basic approaches:
               A Diplomatic Playthrough with a heavy focus on talking your way out of situations.
               A Melee Playthrough which is based on hitting and destroying your enemies.
               A Mixture of Both which mean we can talk our way out of situations but we don’t have to.
In this very playthrough we will play a character I have already welcomed into my heart: Clara Tremaine, a half-orc debutante with a gift for magic. How is a character in Arcanum created? Well, by four simple choices: A portrait, a gender, a race and an optional background.
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Let’s start with the race which will have the most influence for our gaming experience. Races in Arcanum each come with their own benefits and flaws, giving the game a nice re-playability factor. The playable races include humans, dwarves, halflings, gnomes, elves, half-elves, half-ogres and half-orcs. Each of these raises influence the player character’s stats, the reaction of the people around them and even our dialogue options. As we will encounter NPCs and companions coming from each of these races, I will offer a bit more background information to them in separate parts – because, yep, we have that.
Arcanum comes with a wonderful manual that offers ‘in-game’ literature, such as how certain races developed and why they are liked or disliked.
The last time I played Arcanum as the wonderful Jeanne Walker, I was a super boring human. Humans are great when you want to get to know a game because they are usually in a comparable position to real-life and a great variety when it comes to builds. I did not want to be this socially accepted in this playthrough so I choose the most unpopular race in-game: the half-orcs.
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You have probably read it by now, but yep, apparently, our Clara is ugly, bad-tempered and a child of rape. We get to hit things a lot better than other people though. People will not like Clara at first sight. People will not trust her, even be hostile. Half-orcs are usually found in criminal parts of cities, they are in the underground and it is very hard for them to be treated with respect by others, especially humans and elves.
Personally, this background is a bit risky for me. Rape is nothing to joke about. Nor is a whole race that is going to be discriminated against. However, I have heard we can call other characters out for their behaviour which I am looking forward to. In tumblr terms – the half-orc race is problematic in gaming. I am not sure if it would be kept like this, if Arcanum would ever get a reboot. It is one of the questions I want to find an answer to in this Let’s Play as I have never played this race before.
This puts her reaction modifier at -18, something I corrected up at -7 due to my choice of background. “Spoiler”: People still hate her.
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Can I be a girl in this game? Is one of the first questions I ask myself when I want to buy something new. I am a woman and I am very happy when the game lets me be just that, a woman.
Gender, just like races, bring different stat-changes. In Clara’s case this means less strength but more constitution, giving us a slightly better healing rate. I’m not really a fan of gender-based stat changes, however, the races and backgrounds help us to even this out a little.
Well…there is a small problem with that, though.
Arcanum allows me to choose from eight races when I want to be a man. Which I don’t, so it cuts my choices down to four – humans, elves, half-elves and half-orcs. The manual gives us a few lore-related excuses for it, which gets Arcanum a gold star from me.
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I was a bit disappointed when I found out I could not be a female dwarf. If the game ever gets a remake, I’d love this to be different. Some character you encounter, simple NPCs, no companions or anything, even are female dwarves and gnomes. There are, therefore, character models of the races already – just portraits and probably some armour animations are missing. Maybe, with a bit more time, Troika would have been able to create playable female dwarves, too… sadly, due to their bankruptcy, we’ll never know.
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So far, we had a very pro-melee built buut…well…well, okay, I am sorry but I love being diplomatic and I don’t like the violent stereotype surrounding half-orcs at all. Therefore, I choose the debutante background which brings us a much more basic start – we get rid of our melee and dodging advantages by the debutants disadvantages, but also get a bonus in Charisma, my favourite stat.
Also, I am a fan of playing against type – a daughter of a very influential family in the continent? Does this mean Clara will get to wear fancy dresses? Will people be forced to be nice to me despite my race? I can’t wait for people recognizing me and forcing themselves to be polite.
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Sadly, our background is just there to change our stats. People will not comment on it, there are just a few exceptions – those that put our intelligence below 4, resulting in our speech options to be grammatically less correct.
It’s kind of sad, because I would have loved at least a few dialogue options using the knowledge our character would have acquired before the game. Pillars Of Eternity, for example, manages to do just that- your character will be able to use a bit of their background knowledge in conversations with their companions.
However, Arcanum is a fairly old game and Troika has always been a financially challenged studio. I like the variety of backgrounds to choose from – some give you new stats, some give you new equipment and all of them are great to read.  Not choosing a background is also a nice option, I did that with my first character and the game still was a very nice experience for me.
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Clicking through the portraits, I am superficial and choose the prettiest one. Each race has different portraits to choose from and I love the very realistic art style and tend to use Arcanum Portraits in other games as well.
One of my main critic points of this game is, however, already right here.
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Almost everyone is dark-haired and white. The picture above shows us companions - it does not get better. Sure, some people are green...ish. No one is black or brown, everyone is literally a white person. There are no other people in Arcanum – elves are white, humans are white, okay we have some green orcs, but that doesn’t count at all.
We can add custom portraits to Arcanum. Since I am white as well and have chosen an already highly problematic background, I will not do it for this Let’s Play. Not with a half-orc character, not knowing what kind of things I will do and most of all, not knowing what else I do not know.
However, it is not hard to find non-white developers nowadays. So, if Arcanum ever gets a reboot, my biggest wish would be a more diverse cast. I love the characters just like they are, I love them dearly, but please…add more diversity. I cannot imagine there would be a whole continent filled with just white people.
Getting back to business, we have successfully created the base for our character and are advancing forth to the skill screen.
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Here, we get to see how many skill points we have, how close to the next level we are and that half-orc is considered as an adult at 15 years. They are mentally adults, but I was very squicked when I saw that age for the first time.
Trivia: The other starting ages are the following
               Human (20) which makes every action of drinking we can do in this game underage-drinking in America.
               Dwarf (100) which makes their tendency to hold grudges a lot scarier.
               Elves (200) which makes their tendency to hold grudges even MORE scarier.
               Half-Elves (35) which must suck for all those half-elves growing up in elven society because by the time they are considered adults, other elves probably join pre-school.
               Gnomes (90) making them the true ‘nineties bitches’.
               Halfling (50), but not really a surprise, aye, Mister Baggins?
               Half-Orge (20), meaning Half-Orge/Human couples get to grow old together. Awww.
The small clock we are witnessing on the side is our alignment meter. Certain companions we are going to meet on the way are only following us if our alignment is either good or evil. Clara will be a good character, but very snarky as well. It’s gonna be fun.
Before the game starts, we have the option to place 5 skill points anywhere we want: We can either raise our physical ( strength, constitution, dexterity, beauty) or mental (intelligence, willpower, perception, charisma) stats. Raising one of these over 20 gives us an additional bonus, for example strength above 20 means double damage. They also have on influence on the technological, basic or magical disciplines we can learn. Alternatively, we can also get more health points or more mana.
The Disciplines are were the overall story-game conflict begins to become real within gaming terms.
Arcanum is the story of magic vs technology and their in-ability to function together (something, that is actually questioned within the game, but we’ll get to that during the playthrough). The stronger the magic, the weaker the technology and vice versa. As the game is set during the Industrial Revolution, technology is reaching its highest peak while magic, prior strong and honoured, begins to fade.
In gaming terms, a character with high technological skills cannot use magic and magic cannot be used on them – no magic healing spells, no resurrection but later also no strong poison or curses. Character with high magical skills cannot use technological objects like guns, grenades or, sadly, public transport. While the game states you could even play a character with a mixed build, I do not advice that. You get a lot more bonus points for going one way.
We will go magic. Whoever has doubted Claras ability to be patient and focus will be disappointed – this woman knows magic and how to use it.
The basic skills have a wide range from combat (melee, dodging, archery ect.) over thievery to social skills. We will try to max Persuasion before raising any other stat and have our followers do the beating for us. As I said – I love playing against types.
We will put one point into a magical discipline however. A lady needs to be able to defend herself after all. Welcome to the school of black necromancy – the simple spell called ‘harm’ does enough damage for the start of the game. We will be able to defend us without being influenced by our negative combat skills and still be able to use all of the technological devices.
The Magi-Tech Meter at the right side of the screen helps us to keep track of where we stand. The higher our magic, the stronger our spells. Easy to follow, kids.
After spending our last points, we get the chance to purchase some items before officially starting the game. It’s the cheapest one in-game but I was stupid and remembered this only when it was too late. Still, Clara is ready for departure!
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