#my comfort character is an epic gamer try to beat that

[valkyrinn]

There’s been a lot about Magic: the Gathering that has kept me interested through the years. The art, the stories, the way flavor and mechanics interact, the gameplay with its relatively ease of entry and high skill ceiling, deckbuilding, the collectibility, and most of all, the social aspect of sitting across from other players with a deck we built ourselves and playing a game together. Over time, these changed for me.

The art direction became more cohesive and directed. While this does create a more cohesive game look and help prevent such a wide quality range in card art, it also makes it less interesting. I started with Ice Age, and that art was all over the place, both in terms of style and quality. But I loved it. The art styles that most captivated me are gone, replaced with a great deal of ArtStation-esque art. It’s looks nice enough. Some artists, like Johannes Voss and Magali Villeneuve and Seb McKinnon, do have their own distinctive styles, it still fits within this narrow range. It’s good, but it’s not as compelling to me.

The stories when I started felt epic and… messy. In a good way. Dominaria was a world with a rich history and getting boots off the huge power struggle between Lim Dûl and the ring of Mairsil and the demons that granted him power, his undead underlings, the Kjeldorans and the Balduvians (leaders and more rank-and-file soldiers and workers), the creatures of Fyndhorn, and the powerful mages and planeswalkers that battled for through intrigue and direct confrontation. So much of the world building could be seen in the cards’ flavor text. I fell in love with that, poring over the few cards I had as a kid, imagining the world and the characters. It was so fun. After that, reading the cards and books of Tempest, the invasion of the Phyrexians, the journey of the Weatherlight, all made an interesting story, though it wasn’t my favorite type of story. The world building was still cool. I’m just not a fan of the trope of getting a bunch of powerful friends to beat the big bad. Unless it’s in the context of a roleplaying game. Unfortunately for me, much of Magic’s storytelling became a streamlined and cleaner version of that. Superfriends. Not great. Especially when the heroes are vapid and dimensionless. And card flavor is boring and does not explain the world or story in any real way. Even with so-called “Story Spotlight” cards.

Fortunately for me, rules became more clear. Mostly. More emphasis was put onto aligning the flavor and mechanics. Addition of new mechanics complicates things, but usually in a a fun way.

Deckbuilding is fun, except I’m formats like Standard where winning matters and optimal decks for the meta are already figured out. That’s not fun for me. But EDH/Commander are where it’s at for me. Non-rotating, casual, multiplayer format. The focus is fun and jank and personal decks. But even that format has become difficult as Commander decks have become more standardized with auto-includes and staples and a handful of powerful wincons. With the right table, these can be worked around, but it does narrow the scope of the game. Make things less variable and weird and fun.

The social aspect is still something I love, though now that I am presenting as a woman I find those spaces much less comfortable. Even chill, low-intensity spaces are still not great places for women and it suddenly made much more sense to me why it was so male-dominated. The pandemic also hindered much in-person gaming. I tried to invite women and queer gamers, but that didn’t work well. It’s been a struggle.

And now? I cannot keep up with the releases. It’s always spoiler season. I’ve given up trying to collect things because each set has so many cards, many of them s special versions you have to get from special boosters that cost more. Collector boosters that cost about $30 for 15 cards. Secret Lair drops with limited-time versions of cards, some of which have unique mechanics. And just so many products that I can’t keep up. And I don’t want to. It’s like the final nail in the coffin. I’m burned out of the game. I’m tired of the power creep. The constant pandering to Commander players like me with format-breaking cards that aren’t fun. I hate that I have to walk away from this game after 28 years but it’s not fun, it’s overwhelming, too expensive, and no longer as narratively or visually or mechanically as compelling as it used to be. And I’m mad about it. I know I shouldn’t be. It’s just a product created and sold under capitalism. But I have so many memories with this game. And to see… this? I guess I’m disappointed.

#magic #magic: the gathering #mtg

[readbyred]

Something something technology bad or whatever idc

#/nsrs #my comfort character is an epic gamer try to beat that #also he deserved better #bc I say so #life is bad so I've been thinking abt my faves a lot #so like feral boys in early teens #catcf #catcf broadway #mike from catcf #mike teavee #whats his name and the chocolate factory #catcf fanart #charlie and the chocolate factory

[cryptidshuffle]

the less we say about it the better - chp 1

ao3

Rating: Teen Fandom: Half-Life VR But The AI Is Self Aware Relationships: Tommy Coolatta & Gordon Freeman, Tommy Coolatta/Gordon Freeman (pre relationship) Additional Tags: Hurt/Comfort, Post-Canon, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Temporary Character Death(its benrey dont worry hes ok), meta about deaths and respawns, arguing about the rules of uno, gay pining, Mutual Pining, fellas is it gay to comfort ur friend who u love and are both boys?, also fair warning it'll eventually be a poly ship with benrey, Autistic Character, Autistic Tommy, ADHD Gordon, everyone is gay and trans, Other Additional Tags to Be Added

Summary: “after everything we’ve been through we deserve a few mental break downs.” they are trying to recover after black mesa, but recovery is hard. especially when one of you is still dead

---------------

They had been out of Black Mesa for a few weeks now. It was difficult trying to acclimate to life after the incident, but they were all making it work.

The science team had gotten together for some sort of game night, something cathartic about being around others who share the same trauma. Anyways, snacks and Uno was just as chaotic as one would imagine with this group of chucklefucks, with competitive tensions high on the last round of the night.

“You can’t stack the draw 4 cards, Gordon,” Bubby argued, smacking Gordon’s hand just as he placed the card.

“Says who?”

“It’s literally against the fucking rules of the game,” Bubby said back.

Tommy agreed with, “It is in the official rules, Mr. Freeman, they- Mattel confirmed it on Twitter.”

“But that’s dumb!” Gordon argued back, “I’ve always played where you can stack those, why change that now?"

Bubby retorted, “Well maybe you’ve always been playing wrong, huh? Ever thought about that, smartass?”

Dr. Coomer chimed in with, “Well on the official page for Uno (card game) on Wikipedia, the free online encyclopedia that anyone can edit, it states that

The following official house rules are suggested in the Uno rulebook, to alter the game:

Progressive Uno: If a draw card is played, and the following player has the same card, they can play that card and "stack" the penalty, which adds to the current penalty and passes it to the following player.[4](Although a +4 cannot be stacked on a +2, or vice versa.)[6] This house rule is so commonly used that there was widespread Twitter surprise in 2019 when Mattel stated that stacking was not part of the standard rules of Uno.[6]”

“Well, there you have it,” Gordon exclaims, interrupting Coomer’s Wikipedia infodump, “Just because it’s a house rule doesn’t mean it’s not a legitimate way of playing."

“What if I don’t want to play with that rule, that’s fuckin stupid,” Bubby grumbles.

“Jesus ok, I'll play a different card, happy?” Gordon says dejectedly, taking back his controversial draw 4 card for a more innocuous one. “It’s your turn anyways.”

Bubby throws down his last card onto the pile. “I win fuckers!!!! Ahahahahaha!"

“You wouldn’t have won if you let me stack the fucking cards,” Gordon said as he threw his losing card pile onto the coffee table.

“Don’t fret Gordon! Bubby is just extremely good at card games,” Dr. Coomer replied.

“You're forgetting I’m a goddamn genius, that extends to my sick-ass Uno skills,” Bubby bragged.

Gordon chuckled, watching the two older scientists get up to leave, and watching Tommy remain, quietly cleaning up the uno deck into neat piles to place in its box.

“Well gentlemen, it’s been fun, though I think it’s time Bubby and I better get going!” Dr. Coomer said.

“No problem, don’t want you two to be late for your old man early-bird breakfast at Golden Corral tomorrow!” Gordon teased.

“Shut the fuck- I’ll kick your ass,” said Bubby.

“Hello Gord- Actually our old man breakfast is not until Saturday! It’s the one day a week I let loose and unhinge my jaws at the buffet like a Burmese Python!” said Dr. Coomer as Bubby grabs his coat and keys.

“That sounds absolutely horrifying,” Gordon laughs.

“It really is,” says Bubby. “Well, see you later asshole,” Bubby says, herding himself and Coomer out the front door.

“See you guys later,” Gordon says.

“Goodbye, Gordon! Goodbye, Tommy,” Coomer also says, before they leave Gordon’s apartment.

Tommy had yet to get up to leave, he stayed sitting in his seat staring into space, and fiddling with the Uno card deck.

“Hey Tommy, you alright man?” he asked gently. At the mention of his name, he was shaken a bit out of his stupor.

“Y-yeah I'm fine Mr. Freeman, why do you ask?”

“I mean you were kinda just staring into space for a bit, and you didn’t say anything when Bubby and Coomer left.”

“Oh shit. Sorry about that, I’ll get out of your hair,” Tommy said, starting to move to leave.

Gordon placed a hand on Tommy’s shoulder. “Hey, if something’s bothering you, just know I’m here if you wanna talk about it,” Gordon comforted.

Tommy blushed slightly at the contact and nodded.

“Thank you. I-uh… I’ve just been thinking about things that happened back in Black Mesa and, you know,” he pauses to think for a bit, and sighs, “honestly I’ve been thinking a lot about Benrey.”

Just at the mention of him, Gordon felt his stomach drop with the weight of too many emotions.

“Yeah...I uh… I understand,” he responds with a sad sigh, “anything in particular you’re thinking about him?”

“I don’t know just kind of- Earlier I started thinking about how much he would enjoy game night. And then I started to miss him and realize that- that he’s not here. I feel guilty about killing him and upset at what he did. He was still my friend and I just- I want to know why he did what he did. I just want to understand,” Tommy said.

Gordon looked away as he thought about his own emotions regarding Benrey. He was undeniably angry with him, for getting him ambushed by the bootboys, for getting his arm cut off, frustrated with the constant taunting. Yet… he also felt guilty for some reason and he couldn’t quite place why. Gordon really didn’t want to feel guilty.

“Yeah…” Gordon sighed, “I'll be honest I do feel guilty about it too. I don’t know why because I feel like it should be justified since he did try to kill us. But there were times when him pestering me about my arm felt like… like sincere questioning? I still… I don’t know.”

“Yeah… I think-” Tommy cut himself off, staring at a fixed point in his vision, trying to decide whether or not to bring this up.

“I don’t think Benrey understood how human mortality worked.”

Well, that wasn’t what Gordon expected. “What do you mean?”

“Well, he was from Xen, Mr. Freeman, he wasn’t human. It was different for him. You remember he did die several times, but he came back eventually. He had to wait for his form to regenerate.”

“Wait-” this time Gordon cut Tommy off, “Oh shit, that wasn’t a joke?  For some reason I just assumed his talking about respawns and shit was part of his Epic Gamer bit?”

“I mean it was a little but I think… there’s probably a reason Benrey attached himself to video games so much, yeah? He can see himself in the structure. Like, uh- something he can relate to.” Tommy says. “It doesn’t excuse what- what he did, but I feel like knowing why things happened makes- makes them more understandable.”

Gordon leaned back on the couch blown away by the revelation. In hindsight it wasn’t that surprising but it took him a few seconds to come to terms with the reality.

“Yeah, when you put it that way, I guess it does make a lot of sense. Wait though, I swear to god all of you have died at least once, but you guys aren’t from Xen?” Gordon said, now confused about the seeming metanarrative of the mortality of his friends.

“Yeah, but those were weird Black Mesa things, Mr. Freeman,” Tommy said, not elaborating any more than that.

Gordon waited a beat for Tommy to explain more but he said all he needed to.

“I will ask you more about that later, but I do not have the energy to unpack all that right now,” Gordon said with a gentle laugh.

“Wait, getting back on topic real quick, why couldn’t Benrey just... respawn now? Did we really get him that good?”

Tommy looked incredibly sad when Gordon said this, and he regretted it immediately.  ‘Damn it Gordon, Tommy’s clearly upset about Benrey, you don’t gotta be an insensitive dick.’

“Well Mr. Freeman, that’s kinda why I’ve been thinking about him,” Tommy said, “I’m not sure. It shouldn’t have taken him this long to respawn. Depending on the amount of damage it takes longer but… It’s been a while and what if- What if he is back but he is mad at all of us and that’s why we haven’t seen him? Or what if it is taking a really long time because we hurt him a whole lot. Or what if we…”

Tommy got quiet for a few seconds, the silence in the room was deafening. For an instance Gordon felt as if making a sound would shatter the air like glass.

Tommy finally said with a whisper, voice thick with choking back tears, “What if we killed him for good? And I don’t- I never see him again?”

It honestly broke Gordon’s heart how distraught Tommy was. Pushing his own complicated Benrey feelings aside, he was gonna focus on Tommy here and now.

“…Tommy, is it ok if I hug you, man?” Gordon couldn’t think of the best way to comfort the other man with words, but physical comfort he could do.

Tommy looked a little surprised at this ask but nodded. Gordon leaned in to hug the other scientist and Tommy collapsed in his embrace, completely breaking down.

Gordon just sat there and held him as Tommy sobbed into his shoulder, trying to comfort the crying man by rubbing circles into his back.

Gordon’s brain processed the things Tommy had said. Was Benrey really gone? Why did he feel guilty about the idea of having killed Benrey, he was fine with the concept during the final boss fight on Xen but now… the thought made him feel… sad? Regretful? Even his seemingly rational justifications didn’t seem as clear at the moment, only thinking of his fonder memories with Benrey.

‘Fuck this,’ he thought as he felt his own tears well up, ‘this isn’t about me, I need to focus on being there for Tommy,’ pushing his own feelings to the back of his mind to be dealt with later.

Tommy eventually calmed down enough where his sobs turned into sniffles, and he started to pull away from the hug.

“S – sorry for having a – a breakdown on your- on your couch Mr. Freeman,” Tommy said, the post-crying mental fog making his stuttering more noticeable. Tommy didn’t really have the effort in him to care.

“Don’t worry about it, man, after everything we’ve been through we deserve a few mental breakdowns,” Gordon joked trying to lighten the mood.

“Oh, that was nothing, Mr. Freeman, in terms of mental breakdowns that was as mild as a first-grade pizza party in the eye of a hurricane,” Tommy compared in a way that made little sense to Gordon, yet ridiculous enough to cause the man to burst out laughing.

“Alright I’ll take your word for it,” Gordon said, still laughing.

“I’m serious Mr. Freeman, once you have a meltdown so intense that you accidentally teleport yourself to an inter-dimensional void, the rest is a cake walk at the school fair,” Tommy said.

“Waitwaitwait- teleport?” he leaned back to look at him in surprise, “Since when could you fuckin teleport!” Gordon asked caught off guard.

“You know, learned some things from my Dad,” Tommy said, again failing to further explain himself.

“…Well alright. Yeah that tracks.”

Gordon was quiet for a moment before responding with, “You know, Tommy, I want you to know I’m here for you if you need anyone to talk to. You were there for me when I was at my lowest in Black Mesa, and I wanna be that friend to you if you need it,” he said giving the other scientists hand a comforting squeeze.

Tommy smiled, “Thank you, that means a lot Mr. Freeman.”

“You know you can call me Gordon, you don’t have to be so formal all the time Dr. Coolatta,” he teased.

Tommy blushed, ‘dammit why did he have to be so cute?’

“Wow Mr. Fr – Gordon are you really gonna make fun of my doctorate that I worked very hard for,” Tommy teased back, still a bit sniffly from crying.

“Dude, I cannot imagine you in college for some reason, what was your doctorate even in” asked Gordon, semi-jokingly, but still a bit serious.

Tommy laughed a bit, wiping the remaining tears away with the back of his hand. “Bio-chemical engineering. Creating Sunkist was for my thesis project.” Normally Tommy would be more then willing to infodump about the topic but he found his energy to be draining fast.

“What the fuck, that’s cooler than mine was. Us nerds in the Theoretical Physics department didn’t do any crazy shit like that,” Gordon said.

“Bold of you to assume I was a nerd, G-Gordon. I was the craziest guy in the frat house,” Tommy said.

Gordon’s memory vaguely recalls Tommy’s insistence that he “do something crazy” when drinking Darnold’s Potion of Grow Gun Arm.

“You know what, yeah, surprisingly I can see that image vividly in my head,” Gordon said. “Real talk though…” he said changing the subject and putting his hand on Tommy’s shoulder, “Are you- uh, ok? Like feeling better?”

Tommy was quiet for a second, eyes flickering down to look at his fidgeting hands in his lap, before replying with, “I’m ok. N-not great, I don’t think, but I will be.”

Gordon nodded. “Tommy, if there’s one nugget of wisdom that I have to share, it’s that healing takes time, things usually turn out to be ok in the end. No matter what’s going on with Benrey…it'll be alright, I’m sure.” Gordon patted his shoulder for emphasis, “not the best advice out there but it’s the best I can come up with straight off the dome. And I don’t wanna seem like I didn’t try to help you out."

Tommy laughed gently, “Thank you Mr. Fr- uh, thank you Gordon. You did help. Even if- if your advice was a bit cheesy.”

“Whatever man, you can’t blame me for trying,” Gordon laughed, playfully shoving Tommy where his hand had previously rested on the other man’s shoulder. Tommy laughed in return. He only noticed the warmth of Gordon’s touch once it was gone.

Tommy absentmindedly noticed the time on the wall clock in Gordon’s apartment. Jesus, 11:30? When did it get so late? The older scientist really hoped he wasn’t overstaying his welcome; While he would love to just stay here and joke around, he had already bothered Mr. Freeman enough and was already exhausted.

“I- I’m probably gonna head back home now, I didn’t realize how late it was,” Tommy said, standing up from his spot next to Gordon.

Gordon nodded. He had the passing thought of offering for Tommy to stay but… maybe that was a step too far. ‘Tommy probably wants his space,’ Gordon rationalized to himself.

He nodded, “Alright, don’t let me keep you,” he said, getting up as well to help Tommy gather his belongings. Which, to be honest Tommy didn’t bring much but some snacks for the group, but Gordon just needed an excuse to do anything.

Gordon walked Tommy to the front door of his apartment, like the good host he was, opening the door for him.

“Thanks for coming over Tommy,” he said.

Tommy nodded. “Thank- thank you again for letting me talk about Benrey, I know it was kinda rough there at the end, but if you ever need to talk about anything… I'm here for you as well.”

Gordon smiled, “Thank you Tommy, I'll keep that in mind.”

Tommy smiled in return, “Have a good night G-Gordon,” he said turning to head to his car.

“Goodnight Tommy.” Gordon turns to head back inside, but before he does, he can’t resist one more jab.

“Thought you could teleport?” he calls out teasingly.

Tommy flips him off, which causes Gordon to laugh harder. “Gives me a headache,” Tommy called back, trying and failing keep a straight face.

Gordon laughs as he waves a final goodbye, turning back inside and closing the door after Tommy waves as well. His thoughts race as he gets ready for bed, trying to ignore his fluttering heartbeat as he lays down for the night.

Tommy shuffles his thoughts in his head as he drives home. The emotional rollercoaster of his already draining social interaction meter from the science team, his Benrey guilt, and his small crush on Gordon was just too much for one day. His hands clench and unclench the steering wheel, looking forward to collapsing in bed for the night, hoping his dad won’t notice he'd been crying.

Somewhere, in an interdimensional void far away from this reality, someone begins to shift awake.

#fanfic #hlvrai #half life vr but the ai is self aware #freelatta

[itstittycitybaby]

May Death do Us Part (Benrey/Gordon Freeman)

A/N: ahaha im a bit nervous to post this one ngl but fuck it might as well give it a shot. if you haven’t seen hlvrai please do it’s so good and so fucking funny. Thank you @kryogie for helping me with this fic! I really appreciate it bro.

Warnings:angst,suicidal thoughts,suicide attempt,hurt/comfort,dissociation.

Benrey couldn’t die. Anyone else would be ecstatic to know that they could out run the hounds of death. Gordon’s apartment was dark that night. He’d mention earlier that morning picking up another shift, so he’d be home later. The silence was deafening as Benrey stared at the bright T.V. screen. His thoughts felt like he was dragging through quick sand and his brain lagged. “not pog. cringeworthy moments right here,” Benrey murmured to himself as a CPU beat his ass on Smash. Sonic, the one Benrey mains, looked glum as he clapped for Bowser. It was suffocating; the silence and the distant but also bright colours of the T.V. The switch hummed faintly but Benrey had trouble focusing on it. 

He hated the quiet. Whenever it was quiet the guilt came rushing back. The memories of Black Mesa were fuzzy but Benrey couldn’t forget what he had done. His hand laid there on the cold cement ground as Gordon cried out in pain in the dark. His form being dragged by three soldiers as they left him to die. Benrey could faintly see the blood as Tommy started to cry.

“N-no! What are they d-doing to Mr. Freeman?”

Benrey choked on his breath; his chest felt tight and his throat contracted harshly. The whispers of the dark swirled around him and laid on his trembling form thickly. The T.V. that sat on its stand became blurry and Benrey felt as if he were sinking.

He couldn’t move. The soldiers around them paid him no mind. They laughed and carried on like nothing had happened. After all, Benrey’s job was done righ? This is what he had wanted?

“calm down,” Benrey told himself. “this..this is baby behaviour...we’re supposed to be..epic gamer....” Gordon had moved on from Black Mesa. Or so he told himself anyway. His arm was back, something Tommy’s dad had fixed. Even with his hand being back, Benrey could see the underlying anxiety Gordon had. He could see it in the way Gordon fidgeted and jumped at every loud noise. He couldn’t blame him at all. This was all his fault. He had always enjoyed making Gordon irritated. It was funny and entertaining but he had taken it too far.

Benrey knew he didn’t deserve Gordon’s kindness. He didn’t have to let Benrey in his apartment as the rain poured that night. Gordon was anxious and still held some malice towards him, but Benrey could see his big brown eyes soften with concern as he saw the blood seeping through his security shirt. Gordon was insistent on tending his wounds even though he knew Benrey couldn’t die. Something Benrey still couldn’t wrap his head around to this day.

How long had it been? Hours? Minutes? Benrey couldn’t tell but the thoughts were getting louder and louder as he sat there on the couch. He had to do something. His limbs didn’t feel like moving but he wiggled them as a test. They felt sluggish and heavy but Benrey eventually got a leg off the couch. He deserved this didn’t he? He deserved the pain and despair of the aftermath. It’s what he caused after all. So why was it so hard to move on?

“wasn’t suppos’ to be..like this,” Benrey mumbled one night as the both of them sat in front of the T.V. Some stupid rom com played. Pretty and Pink, was it? Gordon didn’t say anything but his brows furrowed. “What?” Benrey huffed. “can’t hear me feetman?..gordon freeman??more like.. gordon deafman haha...can’t even hear his bro talking to him..” Gordon rolled his eyes and sighed. “Can you ever talk seriously?” “yea...I tried but deafman couldn’t hear me....” Gordon just snorted, picking up the bowl of popcorn from the coffee table. “Whatever man just watch the movie.” Benrey could see a small smile on Gordon’s plush lips. It made his heart flutter.

The balcony felt cold underneath Benrey’s feet. Gordon’s apartment was high enough that he’d smack on the concrete and die from the impact. Sure, he’d resurrect again, but it helped with the pain. All the emotions swirled around him and bit at his gut. It was an endless torture of not being able to be at peace. People saw the ability of never being able to die a blessing. Hell, they would kill for it. Benrey saw it as a curse. It was perfect for him and the thought made him laugh hollowly. It was raining again and the air nipped at his toes and fingers. The wind made his skin numb from the cold. He laughed at the clicheness of it all. Like some damn cheesy RPG game where the main character hit his low. The sky wept with Benrey’s misery.

Benrey’s fists clenched tightly on the balcony. The metal railing was cold to the touch and the water made it a bit slippery. The laughter wheezed out of his chest. Was he crying? His tears felt hot;His arms felt slackish and unbearably slow.”c-could end everything r-right now....little feetman wouldn’t have to...p-put up with me anymore...i’ll just respawn like a gamer and...keep d-doing it....” Maybe one day he’d disappear. Maybe he’d actually stay dead. Benrey cackled at the thought. It was wishful thinking, he knew it. Yet, he couldn’t help but think of the science team. What if he actually stayed dead? Tommy would cry and wail like a good friend. He cared about Benrey even after all the shit he put them through. Dr. Coomer might be a little sad but would be back in no time. Bubby..well Bubby was and always will be a wild card. Benrey’s heart lurched when he thought about Gordon. The science team never worried too much when Benrey died but this was different entirely. Benrey wanted to die. Would they even care? Gray orbs left his mouth as he remincised over what he had done. He had fucked up and couldn’t forgive himself. How could he when he had hurt the man he liked. 

Gripping the railing for support, Benrey balanced himself onto it. Carefully, he stood up on it. His stomach lurched with anxiety as he looked down. Cars honked and people walked among the sidewalks blissfully unaware. Benrey couldn’t help but think about if his head smacked onto the pavement. How traumatized innocent bystanders would be and if they would tried to help. Was it wrong that he couldn’t find himself to care?

“Benrey!” He jumped in surprise, causing him to teeter on the railing. His arms waved and so did his fingers for balance. A hand grabbed him by the back of his shirt and yanked him onto the balcony floor. Benrey let out a hiss as his back made contact with its cement floor. He cursed once he realized who prevented him from jumping off the balcony and ending his misery for a short awhile. “W-what the fuck man?!” Gordon Freeman hovered over Benrey. His glasses were speckled from the rain and his hair that was pulled up was starting to get damp. His brown eyes were wide and..was he crying? The waves of guilt that were already washing Benrey away were now crashing to the surface. This wasn’t supposed to happen.

He looked so afraid and hurt. Benrey averted his gaze. “L-let’s get you inside,” Gordon said, mostly to himself. He was trying to reassure himself, Benrey noticed, as he helped him up. Gordon’s hand wrapped tightly around his as he lead him back into his apartment. God, Benrey felt so damn guilty. He just wanted to die for a bit and be nothing. It only lasted for a couple hours before he came back but the seemingly never ending darkness called to him. It called for him to come home. Benrey could barely register a fluffly towel being wrapped around his quivering frame. His clothing clung to his skin in a gross way and he felt cold and warm at the same time. There were groceries and a pack of Moutain Dew on the kitchen isalnd. Benrey’s favorite.

Gordon ran a hand through his hair. A nervous tick he had which didn’t help Benrey’s guilt at all. “’m...s-sorry,” Benrey choked out. “weren’t suppose...to see that.” Gordon’s head shot up. His brown eyes wavered as he looked into Benrey’s seemingly cold black ones. “No man don’t a-apologize. I-If I had known...” Gordon trailed off. Benrey shook his head. “n-not just for that feetman...for everything..” His lip quivered and he dropped Gordon’s gaze. Finally, he had said what he’d been keeping in for so long. “Is that why you tried t-to..do that?” Gordon gestured to the balcony. Benrey nodded. Gordon let out a shaky sigh. “L-look man.. I’ve already forgiven you. I care about you and...I worry about you Benrey..I l-lo-” Benrey’s eyes widened. Gordon’s cheeks heated up and he swallowed thickly. “..wha?..” “U-um,” Gordon stuttered, eyes averting anything close to Benrey. “U-uh..fuck it man! I like you alright? I-I.. love you after all these months! I was gonna tell you but... I-I didn’t think you’d feel the same.. Now of all times isn’t g-good to tell you either.” Benrey stood there stunned. 

Gordon swallowed nervously as he waited silently. Benrey’s silence and his stare didn’t help Gordon in the slightest. “L-look man if you don’t feel that way it’s fine. I’m more concerned about you though...I-I have a friend who’s a therapist! S-she’s great and she-” Gordon got caught off by soft lips against his own. His eyes widened but when Benrey clutched tightly into his shirt, he kissed back. 

Gordon cracked a smile once they pulled away. “I-I don’t wanna pressure you into anything while in this state...so I-I understand if you don’t wanna g-get into anything-”  Benrey cut Gordon off with another kiss. They were a bit cold and damp from standing in the rain. “y-you’re my gamer boyfriend now feetman..” Gordon barked a laugh as he pulled away. “I still want you to get help though okay? I want to help you through this.” Benrey nodded, “i-i’ll try bro....i’ll try.” Satisfied, Gordon beckoned to the couch. “Wanna play some video games or something?” Benrey nodded, already shuffling to the couch. 

After Gordon put the groceries away and grabbed Benrey a can of Moutain Dew and his so called “gamer snacks”, he joined him on the couch. “Can I,” Gordon asked, hovering his arm over Benrey’s shoulders. He nodded and as soon as Gordon wrapped his arm around him, Benrey nestled into his side. They both smiled as they basked in each other’s presence and played Heavenly Sword. Tomorrow will be a better day.

#hlvrai #half life but the ai are self aware #gordon freeman #benrey #angst #fan fiction #fanfic #hurt/comfort

[seabhan]

Library Staff Fic Picks?

(a NOT daily, maybe series)

tl/dr: Highest recommendation possible for Forged Destiny by Coeur Al'Aran.

Ok... so am I going to tell my BOSS that my "audio books" are all really fanfic I'm listening to via voice reader apps? Uh... no. I'll tell the internet instead. This story I finished last night ATE MY LIFE. I've been playing it at home, while walking, driving, at work because it's been SLOOOW... I couldn't stop.

What's funny to me is how unlikely I was to even start this one. It had three strikes against it right off the bat- the worst being that it was only available on ff.net. (I HAAATE their built-in reader so much that I usually just don't go there anymore- for this epic beast I copied and pasted all 157 chapters from browser pages into a different reader, one at a time... bc unlike Ao3, you can't dl the whole thing outside of their app.)

The second, much lesser issue was that while it's a world I enjoyed in the show, I am not crazy enough about it to beat out my other fic addictions. I asked my buddy for a rec, though, something GOOD and FINISHED... and he gave me RWBY.

The third issue was that it initially sounded like yet another gamer re-hash, being a living-in-an RPG AU. I trust Best Boy enough to at least try a first chapter though, "no promises but thank you..." and that was it. I was HOOKED. He laughed at me as I kept messaging my favorite lines to him, and he's probably STILL laughing about how I zoomed through it and now need SLEEP.

The story doesn't get bogged down by stats, and everything hinges on the problems of being born into a rigid RPG caste system- for any level, but especially the NPCs, or "Needs Protecting Caste". The dangers keep escalating and have real consequences - something that I am honestly ok with SKIPPING- I am just fine with everyone lives/nobody dies, especially characters that I like or die in canon. Sometimes going outside of the comfort zone is worth it, though, and this one... 👀 REALLY was worth going past all of that.

If you love a great story, don't let the chonky book length scare you. It doesn't even matter if you know RWBY- an author like this, who is giving you everything you need to know about a world and characters might make you WANT to read/watch the source material, but you don't need to before hand. Even if you hate spoilers, an AU is pretty safe!

Ok, I'll stop. Partly bc I need a nap, and partly so I can scout out the next story. Just please let me know if you read it, and what you think? 🙏

#fic rec #rwby fanfiction #fanfic

[terryblount]

One Piece: World Seeker – Review

When I first heard of One Piece: World Seeker, I remember thinking it was about time they brought one of Shonen Jump’s most widely-beloved exports to gaming. Unbeknownst to me, the now eight hundred and seventy-three episode anime has actually ventured into our industry numerous times over the last nineteen years. Some quick research revealed that One Piece has inspired several beat ‘em ups, fighting games, turn-based JRPG’s, action-adventure games, and even a baseball game.

Now the series has finally sailed the treacherous waters of the open world, sandbox genre. Veteran One Piece developers, Ganbarion, have yet again given players the chance to don the straw hat of protagonist Monkey D. Luffy, but this time with unparalleled freedom to explore, find collectables, and pummel hoards of marines with his iconic, elastic fisticuffs. Thanks to the power of modern platforms, and not least of all the might of the Unreal Engine 4, gamers have the chance to immerse themselves into Luffy’s adventures like never before.

Monkey D. Luffy, one of the most famous faces in anime.

So close, and yet so far. While there are merits to the idea of building a One Piece game out of a sandbox formula, I don’t think One Piece: World Seeker represents the ideal solution. The combat mechanics were relatively enjoyable, and it is obvious that the developers have put some serious elbow grease into the game’s visual representation. Nevertheless, the repetitive nature of side quests and the underwhelming attempt at world building simply did not take advantage of the rich and varied source material that is its namesake. This is simply not the game it should have been.

Watashi wa Luffy!

For the unfamiliar, One Piece is a long-running manga and anime series based around the escapades of Monkey D. Luffy, a pirate who seeks to obtain the eponymous ‘One Piece’ treasure. Whoever holds this legendary booty will be proclaimed as king of all the pirates, so the series is sort of like Treasure Island, but stretched to an encyclopedic length with the distinctive quirkiness and fanfare that only an anime can pull off.

Yet, Luffy’s whimsical straw hat and flip flops belie his true abilities because he accidentally ate the ‘Gum Gum’ devil fruit as a boy. The fruit made him stronger, highly resistant to enemy attacks, and enables him to stretch his body into extraordinary shapes much like Mrs Incredible or Mister Fantastic. With the power of his rubbery physique, Luffy sets sail on an epic treasure hunt across endless seas where he encounters new friends, gains crewmates, and confronts formidable enemies.

Eight hundred plus episodes later, and we have One Piece: World Seeker opening with our man being detained in a sky prison floating above a union of islands named ‘Prison Island.’ It seems Luffy allowed himself to be incarcerated as a distraction while the Straw Hats crew  break into a vault somewhere below. Unfortunately, the plan turned out to be a trap, resulting in Luffy bailing the flying fortress to escape the clutches of Isaac, the tyrannical warden of the whole region.

Isaac, the warden of prison island.

Once our hero crash lands on Prison Island, he befriends a new character called Jeanne, who eventually explains that the island’s populace has been split between Pro- and Anti-Navy factions in the aftermath of a protracted war. The Pro-Navy inhabitants live a life of comfort afforded by Isaac and the Navy as their new governors, while their counterparts struggle under their draconian regime.

Never one to turn a blind eye towards the troubles of the little people, our hero agrees to help Jeanne and the Anti-Navy resistance to rebel against their oppressors. As such, the player will take part in various missions such as reuniting Luffy with his crew, getting to know the colourful inhabitants of Prison Island, and steadily crippling Warden Isaac’s (literal) iron fists over the islands. Of course, you also get to beat up lots and lots of bad guys and bosses.

Missing the treasure in plain sight

One Piece: World Seeker’s setting is one of the most obvious links to its anime and manga roots. The narrative brings out the tried and trusted theme of Luffy stumbling upon a new island with a dilemma, and then going on a spontaneous adventure to assist the inhabitants with their struggles. It is the old, ‘good taking a stand against evil’ trope that has sustained the One Piece universe since its origins.

Moreover, fans should be pleased with how the writers have transitioned the characters and some cameos into the game from the One Piece chronology. Everything from their dialogue, to the depiction of the main villain feels like an authentic production from the central story line of One Piece. Considering that Eiichiro Oda, creator of the series, was involved, it is no wonder the game convinced me that I was playing through an actual episode of the anime during its best moments.

Nami, the resident thief of the straw hats. I cannot stop staring at her big… belt! Is she promoting Bitcoin!?

Unfortunately, it is also here where I began to notice how the gameplay of World Seeker ends up linking to the story in a rather shoehorned manner. After the tantalising opening cinematic of the narrative, most players would probably assume that Luffy will become the centre of a complex operation to overthrow Isaac. Instead, the game just falls into the same loop where he must travel to a certain location, and beat the crap of everyone he finds there.

Generally it boils down to you are at A, bad man at B. Go from A to B and remove bad man’s front teeth. World Seeker does try to mix things up with a few sections where you must infiltrate strongholds without being detected. As is usually the case with sandbox games that include ham-fisted stealth sections, they just feel like tacked on filler meant to lengthen your play time. It doesn’t take long for the gameplay to deteriorate from fun, to repetitive, to monotonous.

Gum Gum BAA-ZOO-KAAAA!

Luffy has a basic, three-hit combo that he can unleash upon thugs and navy soldiers, as well as his famous Gum Gum pistol serving as a ranged attack. There is also the option to sneak up on enemies either from behind or inside a barrel Metal Gear Solid style, which then creates the opportunity to perform stealth takedowns. It was rarely necessary to be stealthy though, since the bad guys are not only easy to kill, but sneaking around as Luffy just feels like a disservice to his character.

I must admit that the combat is very well animated, and fighting does a superb job at making you feel powerful. The camera also has the delightful habit of shifting to slow motion when you deliver the KO blow to the last man standing much like Batman and the Arkham games. Seeing the poor sod being launched slowly off a high building after receiving Luffy’s catapult fists was very entertaining… for the first fifty times I pulled it off at least.

Adding some variety is also the ability to switch between the blue and red ‘stances’ of combat on the fly. The red mode is essentially reserved for Luffy’s heavier, more focused attacks along with the ability to guard. Blue mode is faster and deals less damage, but the broad sweep of the attacks makes it appealing for confronting whole groups at a time. The dodge mechanic is also useful in this stance since you can zip out of the enemy’s reach if you need to.

While One Piece: World Seeker’s traversal fails to achieve the fluidity of recent super hero games, I thought that the mechanics of swinging and propelling my way through the game’s surprisingly big open world was implemented nicely. Like the combat, you really feel the forces at work in Luffy’s special ability, and it became a particularly exciting system once there were some high trees and buildings around me.  I even managed to gain a bit of fun out of collecting the overabundance of pointless loot scattered throughout the world.

To my dismay, the majority of the side quests have actually been built around this idea of collecting random loot items for citizens of Prison Island. I was horrified to catch myself looking for small flowers at the request of a random man standing near a wooden shed, or finding pieces of copper for a random little kid. Why must I do favours for bland-faced NPC’s who the game does not even bother to introduce to me? This sort of meaningless filler has no place in a One Piece game; I’d rather go looking for Riddler trophies.

At least the game is generous in dishing out experience points from these meaningless exploits. You can use said points to purchase new blue or red fighting moves, or you can spend them on Luffy’s traversal abilities and health points. However, let us not forget that One Piece has had an entire manga and anime saga to build up Luffy’s resume of moves. Does it really make sense hiding them behind experience points which can only be gained by grinding away at meaningless loot quests? No, it doesn’t.

It feels Unreal how much I love this game engine

Sorry about that atrocious pun, but sweet mother of monkey milk this game is pretty. I am not sure why many studios from the Land of the Rising Sun have made the Unreal Engine 4 their engine of choice lately, but World Seeker is yet another example of what a brilliant move this was. Just like the anime, this game is so colourful and vivid that I bet it would cure a defective monitor from stuck pixels.

This game can be seriously beautiful at times.

I cannot deny that the environments were eerily empty at times, nor can I look past at the lack of variety in enemies. However, the character animations, the sheer scale of some buildings, the beautiful landscapes and the particle effects really captivated me on a visual level. Honestly, if Toei Animation did an entire episode in these graphics I would be happy, and I cannot imagine better aesthetics for a One Piece video game.

If only for more time

What struck me from the moment I launched One Piece: World Seeker is that this game feels unfinished. There is nothing overtly broken in its mechanics, and certain elements of the gameplay are undeniably polished. Yet, the lack of voiced cut scenes, the general empty feeling of the world, the repetitive nature of the side missions, and using the same models for most of the enemies are all the tell-tale signs of a studio being pushed for time.

In fact, the stark contrast between the excellent visuals and the bland mission design makes me suspect Ganbarion had plans to make World Seeker more like a JRPG. In any case, it is clear that their plans never came to fruition and they settled on making a more fast-paced, open world game from what they had already finished.

If you are looking to play a good One Piece game, I suggest you look at any of the Pirate Warrior instalments, because World Seeker just feels like too much of a mixed bag. This is not the kind of game we want from this beloved series at this point in time, and playing it makes it clear that the developers share our sentiments. If, one the other hand, you don’t own a PS3, wait for a sale. There is still fun to be had with this game, even if it is very short lived.

Beautiful cut scenes

Graphics and sound design

Story fits the universe

Sterile world design

Very bland side quests

Too many collectables

Insipid mission design

Upgrades locked behind XP

          Playtime: 22 hours total. For the single player campaign and light grinding

Computer Specs: Windows 10 64-bit computer using Nvidia GTX 1070, i5 4690K CPU, 16GB RAM – Played using an Xbox One Controller

One Piece: World Seeker – Review published first on https://touchgen.tumblr.com/