#my dad is certainly the TYPE to make dirty jokes but APPARENTLY he doesn't have the misspent youth to back them up

[cookinguptales]

tsukinofaerii said: Why not? Lucy's clearly up for sharing.

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No, no. Faerii, I simply cannot make any more sex jokes about Lucy. I’m too traumatized after yesterday.

Last night I was telling my parents about my dear friend Jonathan’s exploits over dinner, as has been my recent custom, and... god, Dad made some dirty joke, I can’t remember exactly what it was...

I think it was something like

me: but honestly it sounds kind of like she’s into all of them

dad: no, it sounds like she wants them all to be into her! *eyebrows*

and, NOT EVEN THINKING ABOUT IT, I say, “well, if any woman would be into pegging...”

and my dad looks at me, dead in the eyes, and asks, “what’s pegging?”

aND THAT’S WHEN I KNEW I HAD FUCKED UP

and I’m too embarrassed to say anything for a second, like this is my dad, we are eating dinner and my mom tries to explain to him what pegging is but her explanation is incorrect, she has dramatically misunderstood the concept

so then I slowly, painstakingly, have to explain to both of my parents what pegging is, which I guess was also my punishment for explaining to my parents what pegging is.

🙃🙃🙃

BONUS: me repeatedly babbling “it’s not even weird it’s common I wasn’t trying to confuse you I wasn’t even talking about a weird one” and my dad, all curiosity, going, “what are the weird ones?”

#replies #dracula daily #staying with my parents as an adult has been... weird #my dad is certainly the TYPE to make dirty jokes but APPARENTLY he doesn't have the misspent youth to back them up #I however grew up in fandom #so