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#my dad was super angry at my mom yesterday and i know he wouldn't enact violence on either of us
cryolyst
ยท
4 years
Text
๐ฌ
#vent post!! feel free to ignore!!
#tw abuse/bad parenting/selfish parents ig
#i made the awful choice to read the notes of that parents hating their kids jokes post
#and i can't believe people thought it was wrong
#(i mean rationally i can especially because different perspectives and interpretations of the post)
#(but i can't see any other perspective because guess what!!! i'm the child being called a nuisance!!)
#i don't want to use words like trauma lightly but i almost feel like that's what i'm experiencing when i see those memes
#because i grew up having to be quiet and docile and not be a disturbance
#and any time i did anything to upset my parents it always ended up in me being yelled at until i cried
#and then being yelled at for crying and causing a fuss and why aren't i more grateful for having a roof over my head
#so these haha funny jokes parents use to humorously cope with being cooped up with their child?
#because they can't stand to try and engage with them and help them in this time when they're probably also not doing great mentally?
#they feel more like reminders that i myself was once these children that had to watch their every move
#so they could make sure their parents wouldn't freak out and get stressed and take their anger out on them ๐๐๐
#im so fucking anxious rn i literally feel like my chest is going to collapse into its cavity
#my dad was super angry at my mom yesterday and i know he wouldn't enact violence on either of us
#but he kept stomping around and talking to her all snippy and i hid in my room until he went to bed so i wouldn't yell at me
#and fuck i hate walking on eggshells like that and that's what it feels like all the time now that im home w them
#like every day it's either one of them deciding im a worthless NEET
#or them deciding the other is stupid and stubborn and throwing shit into the sink or onto the tables
#before yelling at one another
#shut up!! shut up!! why are you married if you hate each other so much!!!
#ignore this
#im going to go write a bunch im so hyped up on adrenaline made from fear rn hahahahahaha
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