#my dad watched it w/o me

[lotus-pear]

rewatched bsd w my friend seeing it for the first time and the nostalgia of seeing these two together again hit me like a bus

#literally mom and dad of the agency #dazai and kunikida protect yokohama but more importantly they also protect atsushi #funny story but we were watching in sub and the translations were wack bc when i watched dazai refers to kunikida as his colleague #but in the version we were watching he just called him partner w/o any context it was so fucking funny😭 #bro rly just pointed to a random man across the river and was like “oh that's my partner btw!! we can use his money to treat you to dinner! #my bestie made me pause the show and was like “????partner. are they married??? either way it's cute that there's mlm rep in this anime🥺” #i was genuinely holding back tears #bungou stray dogs #bungo stray dogs #bsd #dazai osamu #osamu dazai #kunikida doppo #doppo kunikida #kunikidazai #knkdz #lotus draws #SRY FOR THE UNGODLY HR IM POSTING AT I DIDNT WANT TO LOSE THE MOTIVATION I SUDDENLY GOT AFTER WATCHING THE FIRST FEW EPS #IVE WANTED TO DRAW THESE TWO FOR SO LONG IDK WHAT TOOK ME SO LONG😭😭😭😭

[m-eltdown]

what do you mean it’s not normal to feel like you're under constant surveillance

#might just b the fact i grew up in a house where my dad had cameras fucking everywhere so i was literally always being watched as a #child/teen/adolescent lmaoo but even tho i know there’s no cameras around now i always feel watched and #i hATE IT like let me exist carefree w/o feeling like i have eyes on me always pls #it makes me so unnecessarily paranoid and uncomfortable and it makes me feel bad for my younger self bc wtf was that #mine #my post #text post #text

[ikeasharksss]

does anyone know if disney plus makes money if you stream a show on the platform? or does it only take money from your subscription?

#asking bc i want to boycott disney for sure but i also want to watch pjotv asap haha #i mean my dad handles the disney subscription. & thats connected to our phone plan. so not only do i not know how to cancel the disney #subscription w/o fucking w/ the phone plan but also i do not know how to bring up boycotting disney to my conservative dad ya know #now heres my issue #should i bother pirating pjotv if disney doesnt make money whether or not i watch it/only makes money from my subscription #bc if disney does NOT make money from me watching it/ONLY makes money from my subscription then i dont see a point in pirating pjotv #but if they DO make money from me watching it/it makes money from BOTH my watching AND my subscription then i want to pirate to reduce how #much cash im giving disney even if its from my dad's pocket #does any of that make sense #eye dee kay #just to make this clear i am PRO PALESTINE #ANTI GENOCIDE #& WILLING TO PIRATE #i would just like to clear up my confusion thanks baes

[origamiyoda]

LADIES AND JELLYBEANS BOYS AND GORILLAS. THIS MIGHT BE MY FINAL STRAWWWW

#I am SICK i am genuinely SICK my throat hurts so bad. I couldn't leave work bcos my coworker is new and would be ENTIRELY LOST W/O ME #I come home. All I want to do is lay down and watch the GhostFiles premiere. Drink tea for my throat. #APPARENTLY. We are having. COPIOUS AMOUNTS OF PEOPLE OVER TONIGHT. WHICH NOBODY TOLD ME ABOUT UNTIL I GOT HOME #I am Not Prepared. I am So Sick. #Today was SO long. I am so exhausted. I have been working thru the cough for TWO DAYS bcos my DAD IS AN ASSHOLE AND I CANT LEAVE MY COWORKE #and NOW MY FATHER IS YELLING. AT ME. TO GO HELP CLEAN UP #I have to kill my dad #Im gonna fake my death. Good lord. #HONESTLY THIS IS LIKE WHATEVER BUT I AM.OUGHAHH. #i want to CRY

[modernmutiny]

being trans is so weird bc the more comfortable I get in my gender and my transition the more I gravitate towards things I didn't allow myself to have/enjoy because of said gender

like. im afab and so ive always steered away from girly shit bc it was forced on me. my childhood bedroom was hot pink with sparkles at my moms insistence. i was forced to wear tights and heels and dresses and skirts to school. i had to wear makeup and curl my hair etc etc

now that im older and out and no one has any expectations of me, I'm starting to find myself enjoying all that again. I just bought a tacky pink watch bc I thought it was cute. I own three pairs of heels bc I like feeling tall and how they make me look, and I just bought a cute flowy skirt bc I wanted to and I like flowy skirts (w pockets ofc). I wear a little makeup and am taking steps to get my hair's natural curls back. I'm letting myself have and enjoy all the things that felt like they were restrictive requirements growing up, and I don't feel bad about it, or feel like I'm any less trans. If anything, I'd say it makes me feel more trans because I'm enjoying all these things in the same way a particularly feminine gay man would. I've met leagues of self-proclaimed fairies who are way more feminine than I am with half the self-consciousness that I've been instilled with and I find that freeing. I can cut off my tits and have a dick and short hair and also wear bright red lipstick to the club because that's what makes me feel hot and no one can make me feel like less of a man for that (insofar as I am a man, I consider myself genderqueer but if I were amab I have no doubt that I would consider myself just a particularly feminine cis queer man)

anyways idk if this resonates with anyone else but I'm super glad I've gotten to this place now where I can buy and wear and do what I want no matter if society deems it feminine or masculine just because I'm secure enough in my gender that I don't have to worry about it anymore. I'm me, and anyone who has a problem with that can fuck off out of my life.

#teddy talks #personal #long post #this is gonna sound dumb but. 90% of this gender security came from watching BBC Uncle #Val Pearson is honestly my goals in life #that one outfit in s3 at the bowling alley w the sparkly v-neck? *chef's kiss* #Val is Val and no one can decide if the character is a cis cross dresser or a drag queen or trans or whatever #its never said in the text but more importantly its never ever questioned in the show #the closest someone gets to interrogating Val on their gender is in the 1st ep when a 12 y/o kid asks #if Val's wife left bc they dress like that #which we're never told one way or the other as far as I know but Val finds the question funny #and the kid is consistently shown to be uber curious and not afraid to ask uncomfortable questions so its not just with Val #and we do get some context in that Val says they really truly loved their wife and letter they date a guy named Patrick #whos apparently super nice and accepting (we never see him) #and they do address the topic of possible rejection as well when Val plans to meet Patricks family and the mc specifically says #that if the family doesnt accept Val then they're wrong #but i just love it bc idk if anyone uses any particular pronouns for Val except the kid who uses she/her I think #and Val's daughter who calls Val dad and I think? uses he/him? #but Val never says and never corrects anyone which leads me to believe its sort of Miss Jay Alexander situation #in the 'i dont care what you call me as long as its said with love' sense #which is basically my life motto lol #anyway thx con o'neill you being hot in red lipstick and heels has healed me and solved my gender troubles

[studiousbotanist]

oh i just read the plot for green inferno 2013 (by eli roth) HMMMMM . oh this sucks so fucking bad . i was about to make a post talking abt how the song a rash decision by ice nine kills, makes me really want to rewatch cabin fever every time . but right now i want to blow him up so bad . imagine makin this film At All but ESPECIALLY in 2013 ??? huge L

#hey jerk! speed kills! #makes me think of other Xenophobic movies w the Evil Foreigners and i cant remember the title o fit #but i know there was one w organ harvesters i had watched w my dad like ages ago . it was also bad ! #but not to This Degree of insensitive

[kaoharu]

sun goes down smtm 11 btw

#✧ chatting ! #s11 is the only season i kinda watched tbh. bc my ass dad kept watching it w/o me /silly #i like the songs from the other seasons tho 🫶

[astrxealis]

whenever i see a ff fan who is somewhat close to my age and is into like. vi and x alongside xv ix etc it just makes me happy awhh

#⋯ ꒰ა starry thoughts ໒꒱ *·˚ #LIKE ... sometimes i feel so alone but these stuff are like no you're Not Alone #haha ix and xiv reference ANYWAY i love ff. so much. oh god #i think its amazing how it became my favorite bcs i started w x bcs of family and then wanted xv myself #but only got it bcs i wanted the sims but it was Age Inappropriate according to the uh worker in store so xv instead TYSM u changed my life #and then after xv i got really delved into ff! but before that theres a lot already too uhh xiii family reasons too and then type-0 and vii #ofc. after xv tho me and my twin got viir bcs our dad caught us watching all of crisis core online lol #and then sometime after that. how does the timeline go uhh sometime after that there was 9 and then after was xiv and then #ever since xvi was announced yeah and then blah blah blah im interested in every single final fantasy game og remake whatever side game #sequel prequel ... yeah. along the rode i got interested in square enix as a whole thx to family as well tbh #so you have octopath and kh! kh was my childhood even before ff but i only got into it properly around. 13 y/o #and now i'm absolutely in love w it it means so much to me. octopath was a bit of a childhood thing too but late 2020 i got obsessed w it #Myself and then okay you have twewy ever since neo and then you have nier and oh i gotta get into dragon quest tho. man

[the-acid-pear]

Alright babies time for me.to sleep. 😁👍😋

#luly talks #i love using emojis sm #anyway its sooo late rn #i gotta do some nasty af homework tomorrow some math stuff #i might also watch morbius w or w/o my dad #i could also yknow like... watch ash vs the evil dead... i rlly wanna... i need- #OHHH BUT I COULD ALSO WATCH THE 2013 REMAKE!! i know nothing about thar one either btw <33 #in fact i only know its a remake bc blood told me so #i rlly need more of Him in my life tho im like melting and dyig and shit #i dont go in the main tag bc i need to see every piece of media regarding him before 😋 so no spoilers #might go look up my girl bobby joe tomorrow though I've been thinking of her a lot she and jake were so cool.. even if he beat up ash a lot #fixating on media is so fun look at all these things i have to say 😍 JWGWNCDBDV

[spohkh]

watching better call saul with my dad who has already seen it all (except the currently airing szn) and usually we rly agree on tv stuff but wow his kim/jimmy opinions are soooooo wrong. hes like kim is constantly wondering to herself what she sees in this guy and wonders why she stays and im like u literally could not be more incorrect. kim is constantly wondering why jimmy Does This To Himself!! bc she loves him and cares for him so much....how can u watch the scene where she absolutely decimates howard about the $5000 will and not realize the absolute profundity with which she cares for him. just like the totality of it. bro. and dont even get me started on jimmys feelings. their relationship is so layered and easy and difficult and loving and untouchable and the most accessible thing ever all at once. my favorite fucking heteros u will pry them from my cold dead hands theyre EVERYTHING

#KIMJIM TILL I DIE I LOVE THEMMMMMMM THEY MAKE ME FEEEEEEL!!!! #beau watches bcs #this was spurred by the scene where jimmy asks kim to help him w getting huell off w no jail time and her look of disbelief at finding out #that hes been selling drop phones #my dad was like see that expression. shes wondering why she stays w him #YOU FOOL. YOU CLOWN. SHES WONDERING WHY HES DOING THIS TO HIMSELF!! WHY HE PUTS HIMSELF IN THESE SITUATIONS #she just wants him to be his absolute best self bc she sees how wonderful he is!!!!! even if he doesnt believe it!!!!!! for gods sake!!!!!!! #christ almighty and dont get me started on the therapist thing. i need to lie down. bro she loves him. and dude? he. LOVES. her #he. L O V E S. her. FUCK

[ozlices]

wrote another note as civilly as i fucking could despite still being triggered, honestly. if this one doesn't result in us actually make up i fucking give up bruh i cant keep doing this w her

#mine #i tried in the og letter to be like i rly wish u'd just understand my journey w dealing w my trauma wrt my abuser #is the same journey that ur going on w my dad & im not ready for that journey yet. #like dawg. i literally watched my daughter fucking die this year then got betrayed by my roommate & damned back to where it happened #sorry not sorry coddling my 30 y/o abuser who still throws tantrums is not on my priority list of processing & healing ?????? #she literally has held this shit over my head my entire life #she believes my abuser at her word automatically & she always has #but my word is always called into question. like... god it's so fucking exhausting. #even when i was a kid if we woke her up from fighting my abuser always told her side of the story before me #& it was believed even if i was sobbing my eyes out from being traumatized. #she literally said in her note that i need to explain stuff that happened to her if it rly did happen & it's just. #I DID!!! I DID /WHEN/ IT HAPPENED!!! & GUESS WHAT?! YOU BELIEVED MY ABUSER OVER ME!! #WHAT DIFFERENCE WOULD RELIVING MY TRAUMA MAKE NOW??? NONE!! ALL IT WOULD DO IS TRIGGER ME FOR NOTHING!!! #im so fucking tired bruh i literally am at my wit's fucking end #i am trying so damn hard to stay afloat but i wanna scream & break shit #bc it's so fucking infuriating to have made sm progress just to get reset like this. & to an even worser degree UUUUGGGHH #i hate being a person so much #vent// #delete later// #abuse mention//

[jvzebel-x]

How do you feel about diversifying police?

here are some clips from an article about the Honolulu Police Department, the police i grew up with&one of the most-- if not THE most-- racially diverse forces in USAmerica, with 21% having claimed to be ethnically Hawaiian&only 12% identifying as white:

i think this was a stupid question, lmao. when i say all cops are bastards, trust: i mean every fucking one of the inhuman cunts. if i saw a uniformed officer bleeding to death on the street, i'd make sure to stomp ON them, not step over them, regardless of the details of that blood.

#the joke surrounding the hs i graduated from that was exclusively for ethnically hawaiian kids #was that most of us would go on to be either cops or firefighters. it wasnt a totally inaccurate joke. #meanwhile i was sexually&physically&verbally assaulted by the hpd starting at 16 lmao #&watched a cop show up at my house to see my mothers bloody face when i was somewhere around 10 #only to tell HER to leave the property bc my dad was the primary lease holder&head of house. oh also he knew him. #my brother had been to court twice by the time he was 17 bc the SAME COP kept following him around to ticket him #so my little brother got called a gang member&asked what drugs he was on after being pulled over for doing 26 in a 25 #then got a ticket for being tboned in a roundabout by a Korean woman w no license. she didnt get any ticket #but my brother did bc the car was a rental so he didnt have the insurance paperwork in it when the cop showed up. that HE called. #bc HE was always told that thats what youre supposed to do bc he was raised by our idiot (&v visually local asian) father #not by our very hawaiian mother who told me from the time i was 5y/o that cops arent my fucking friends. #no. i dont give a single fuck about any form of diversity in any police forces unless theyre details on an obit im cheersing to. #(&dont be fooled by the article title btw. regardless of how CoNceRnEd the commission was this article was written in Feb2021 #&exactly zero changes have been made to the force since so obviously shit wasnt THAT concerning once the spotlight went away.) #💌

[strawberryseeded]

i was p inspired 2 write and draw n stuff 2day and my laptop suddenly broke..im rly bummed abt it :((

#the keyboard suddenly stopped workinh after the STUPID latest windows update #and THEN my DAD #DROPPED my laptop from a table to the floor #and it make a rly awful sound #i got worried so i run a memory diagnosis which said everythings fine #BUT MY D: UNIT IS MISSING ND THAT HAPPENS 2 BE WHERE I STORE EVERTHING #my files my drawings my notes all my writing #i hv backups but theyr not up to date bc I cant back up each time i save or make smt new!!!! #i cried a lot.. kinda dramatic but im actually rly worried abt th whole thing #what if the disk is damaged?? what if i cant recover any of my stuff???? #i cant go to get it looked at/repaired until thursday bc mondays a holiday #my dad didnt even say sorry.... he just went to watch tv w/o saying anything to me #di4ry