#my eyes are glued to kendall

[shivvroys]

the cost of our desired wrongs

shivlina oneshot set during 'too much birthday'

for @jeniffercheck <333 and part of the shivlina fic exchange

cw: panic attacks

read below or on ao3

hold me like we're dying from the liquor that we drank down in hotel rooms,

to feel warm in cold love

-

Karolina’s already worn out by the time she gets to the venue. But the world moves to the sway of Logan Roy’s hand, so here she is, still dressed in her work clothes and bickering with a girl that has rhinestones glued to the inner corners of her eyes.

“I’m sorry, but I don’t have you on the list.” The girl looks far from sorry.

It takes all of Karolina’s strength not to flick those stupid little gems clean off the girl’s face. Instead, she puts on her tightest smile, and pulls out her phone, ready to text Logan a sincere apology and go home. He’d been giving her shit ever since Kendall’s meltdown at the press conference. One more temper tantrum would be just another drop in the bucket.

“No fucking way. Look sis, Dad got us a new nanny.” Roman’s shrill voice sends an irritating shiver down her spine, like nails on a chalkboard. “She’s taller than an SUV, right? Just making sure.”

“Hello, Roman.” She turns to see Roman and Shiv walking in, with Tom trailing behind them like an overgrown shadow. Soon enough, Connor and Willa join them. Karolina starts to get a nauseating feeling of déjà vu.

“Hi, guys.” she greets the rest of the Roy litter. Shiv raises a pointed eyebrow.

“Hi, Karolina. Dad doesn’t think we can sweeten the swede without someone holding our hand, or are you just here to keep Kendall from nailing himself to a golden Supreme cross?” The green dress and tussled curls almost dull the sting of Shiv’s dig. Even as a joke, the suggestion of holding Shiv’s hand in public settles like lead in her belly.

Before she gets the chance to respond, Connor cuts in.

“I just want to say, before the flies starts buzzing—this had nothing to do with my physical prowess. I was inebriated.”  He points to the brace on his arm. Jesus fucking Christ, this family.

“I’m sure no one would doubt that.” He seems to take that as a compliment, judging by the way his eyes light up. Next to him, Willa shoots her a pointed glare, her arm wrapping tighter around Connor’s uninjured one.

As the rest of the group pass by the girl at the entrance and her stupid fucking list, Shiv hangs back, turning to Karolina.

“What, cold feet?” she asks, pointing to the nauseating pink hallway leading into the club.

“I’m not on the list, apparently.” Karolina shrugs.

“Unfortunately, I can’t let guests in unless they’re on the list.” the girl pipes up, gripping her little clipboard like a life raft.

Shiv throws Karolina a wicked smile, before pinning the girl down with a glare.

“Well she’s on Forbes’s 50 Most Powerful Women in Media. That good enough of a fucking list for you?” She barely lets the girl gasp out a surprised breath, before all but dragging Karolina with her down the hallway. Neither of them turn back to check on the girl.

“That was mean.” Karolina lets out a quiet laugh.

“Well, she better get over it if she doesn’t want those cool rhinestones to fall off with the tears.” she says, her brows furrowed in faux concern. Bathed in the pink glow of the hallway, she looks softer, blurry at the edges in a way that makes Karolina want to grasp her, lest she vanishes into the glowing light. Like a fata morgana, luring Karolina out into the deep end.

“So, uh, did dad really send you to chaperone us?” Shiv asks.

“I don’t know.” she sighs. “He just told me to make sure nothing gets out of hand. You know what he’s like…”

“Never met a room he couldn’t walk into and be the epicenter of, yeah. He’s probably got Kerry refreshing Twitter every two seconds, fiending for updates.” she shakes her head, amused. He was, and he’s had Kerry forward each one to Karolina as well.

As they approach the end of the hallway, Tom’s tall frame comes into view. Shiv pauses, looking down before addressing Karolina.

“Hey, I’ll, uh, see you around? Later?” her lips are pouted and pink, and so terribly inviting, but the looming shadow at the end of the hallway reminds Karolina of who she is, and who she is with.

“I don’t know, Shiv.”

She resists the urge to reach a hand over and smooth out the tiny wrinkles forming between Shiv’s brows, instead breaking eye-contact and looking straight ahead until they’ve reached Tom, where she leaves Shiv behind.  Back on the cold shore, the sand feels like shards of glass under Karolina’s feet, the glow of her beautiful mirage burning even brighter on the back of her eyelids as she walks away from it.

-

She’s two martinis down and fresh out of a very uncomfortable encounter with Kendall, when Logan calls. Karolina wishes the shitty techno music were loud enough to drown out the man’s rough beratement. He’s mad that Karolina hasn’t been keeping enough tabs on all of his children while simultaneously tracking Matsson’s whereabouts. She doesn’t bother trying to explain to the man that his children aren’t joined at the hip, and she can’t split herself into every goddamn corner of the massive club, and even if she could, they were all purposefully avoiding her like the plague anyway. Instead, she throws out ‘yes’s and ‘alright’s and ‘of course, Logan’s like she’s trying to calm down a rabid dog, and resists the urge to smash her phone against the bar top when he hangs up on her.

She motions to the waiter for another drink, and watches the VIP area above, where Roman, Shiv and Kendall are either making up, or breaking each other down. Her money’s on the latter.

Out of the corner of her eye, she sees Tom and Greg huddled together, whispering like they’re planning a heist. She can feel the dread of her own shame creep inside, but she can’t help the rush of jealousy that washes over her as she sizes Tom up. God, she needs to stop drinking gin when she’s already feeling bitter.

He’s tall, sure, and handsome in an unthreatening way, but where’s the fun in that? What universe had made him and Shiv a match? Did he make her laugh—with his broad shoulders and naïve oafishness? Did Shiv trust her heart to be safe in those big, warm hands? Was he just that good of a fuck?

Briefly, Karolina wonders what it says about her that, for all her inflated sense of superiority, she has essentially become this man’s seat warmer. 

She can’t admit to herself why the sight of him has become so unbearable lately, so she throws back her drink and leaves the bar, hoping to come up with a destination on the way.

-

The lights are starting to look fuzzy and Logan’s texts have turned silly by the time she sees Shiv again. A giant, glossy version of her, anyway.

Wife of Tom Wambsgans.

Karolina stares at the letters until they turn to giant splotches of ink in front of her glassy stare.

“Yeah, you like that?”

Karolina turns to look at Shiv leaning against the doorway.

“I don’t even remember when this picture was taken. I kind of look manic.” Shiv continues, stepping into the room until she’s right next to the giant poster. She tries to mimic the facial expression she’s wearing in the picture.

"It's good. Funny." Karolina sucks in her cheeks, looking into the half-empty glass she’s holding. She can’t remember what number she’s on, but it’s definitely one too many for the conversation she’s recklessly directing them towards.

"What? Wife of Tom Wambsgans—that’s the part you're upset about? Not the bit about me being a street-walker?” Shiv puts on an incredulous smile.

“Does that bit offend you because it implies you need the money?”

That wipes the smile away from Shiv’s face. She crosses her arms, playful mood suddenly deflated.

“Ok, what crawled up your ass and died?” she says, still trying to keep some lightness in her tone.

“It was a joke, Shiv.” It hadn’t been, but Karolina feels weightless and weighed down all at once, and her ears are still ringing from Logan’s screaming. A part of her wants to see if she can get Shiv to match that same pitch and blind outpour of anger. See if they share more than just their eyes.

“Funny.” she clenches her jaw. “Yeah, no—see, if I were making a joke, which—I am, this is a joke.” She gestures to the space between them, that great chasm of joy and fucking laughter.

“If I were making a joke I would say something like—I don’t know, how do you manage to fuck up a task so badly that your boss has to call the people you’re supposed to be tracking to ask where you are? That’s pretty funny, too, right?” she leans back against the poster, eyes narrowed into slits.

Karolina nods, gripping her glass tighter. What makes her eyes sting with tears is the fact that Shiv looks so fucking beautiful right now, her hair messier than she’d normally allow herself to have it, and a dangerous sort of reckless energy illuminating her like a halo. And all Karolina can think about is a fucking phone.

A hunter at heart, Shiv knows that sinking her teeth into frightened game sours the meat, so she knows when to back off and let her prey breathe. Make the chase last longer. And Karolina’s aware of this, she can tell when Shiv’s concern is part of a game she’s playing. So, when she sees her take a deep breath, and cock her head to the side, Karolina knows she’s just sharpening her canines.

“What’s up with that, anyway? He still upset over the press conference?” she asks, brow furrowed like she’s opening on Broadway.

Another drink and Karolina might mistake it for real kindness. Instead, she smiles tightly and shrugs.

“Maybe. Maybe he thought I looked at him funny during a meeting. Does it matter?” she says.

Being reminded that there are always bigger, angrier beasts lurking in the darkness of the forest seems to settle Shiv’s hunger for carnage, so she doesn’t press the issue further.

They are spared from having to say something to fill the silence when Roman barges into the room, instinctively sticking to Shiv’s side like a magnet. Like two blind kittens crawling their way to each other for warmth.

“Hey, I got a pin on Matsson. You coming?”

“Yeah, okay.”

Satisfied with the answer, he turns to Karolina, as if just then noticing her existence.

“Oh, hey Vesper Lynd. How’s the spying going?” he shoots her a shit-eating grin.

“Great. Thank you, Roman.” she keeps her eyes glued to the drink she’s holding.

He doesn’t say anything, throwing Shiv an amused grin before raising his own glass towards Karolina in a mock toast.

Shiv looks like she wants to say something, but it’s gone with a quick tightening of her jaw. Instead, she bumps her arm against Roman’s, motioning towards the doorway. In the haze of the colorful lighting and strong alcohol, Karolina can barely see the line that separates them as they walk away.

Like the mouth of a wave, she turns to the poster and sees that fucking headline looming above her head, its edges sharper than knives.

Wife of Tom Wambsgans.

-

“I’m sorry, Logan, but this doesn’t really fall under my—”

“Yeah, I just pay you a million a fucking year to write flashcards. Consider yourself off duty. Enjoy my son’s fucking tea party!”

Logan makes sure she also catches the fucking useless he spits out before hanging up the phone. This time, her phone gets a screen-full of sticky residue as she slams it down on the table in front of her. The screen doesn’t crack, to her disappointment, instead lighting up with more work emails she’ll probably have to deal with the next day. She doesn’t trust herself to make it to the bar without wobbling, so she wipes the phone on her pants, hoping to get some of the vodka cran off of it. All she gets is a sticky stain on her thigh and the faint urge to vomit. 

She takes that as her cue to slink back home where she can lick her wounds in peace, without a bunch of influencers gyrating against her when she’s just trying to find a spot to sit still in for five goddamn minutes. She doesn’t have the layout of the club memorized, and the flashing lights make her even dizzier than the gin, so trying to find the exit out of this sensory nightmare turns into a very treacherous journey. She can’t even tell where she’s ended up when she sees Shiv make a beeline for her. The music is louder, so all she sees is a disheveled mass of ginger curls and flashing eyes, before Shiv grabs hold of her elbow and drags her into a quieter room. It looks like a giant nursery, complete with a huge, dead-eyed teddy-bear that makes the hair on the Karolina’s neck stand up. 

Shiv doesn’t pay any attention to their deranged playmate, snapping Karolina back to attention.

"Did you know? About dad spying on Kendall's kids?"

Karolina shakes her head, trying to focus on the question. She could swear she had some justification for that prepared in the back of her mind, but she can’t find it through the fog that’s shrouded her mind for weeks like twilight in a cemetery. The only thing she can focus on is the rapid rise and fall of Shiv’s chest. Her eyes must’ve betrayed her, because Shiv takes her silence as an admission of guilt.

"Oh, so that's morally okay to you, but me being married is where you grow a fucking conscience?" Shiv scoffs, crossing her arms.

Karolina could afford many things, but never that. Not anymore.

"Do you think I get a say in what your father decides he wants done?” she tries to emphasize her point by gesticulating, but it comes out awkward and shaky, so she crosses her arms tightly instead, digging her nails into her arms in a vain attempt at sobering up. “I just wag my tail like everybody else in the room and I go fetch.”

“Well, maybe you just like fetching, Karolina.” Shiv throws out sharply.

She shouldn’t have had a sip of that fucking alcohol, because now Karolina watches Shiv’s smug smile and feels every ounce of self-restrain draining from her body. Anger swells inside of her like a balloon, and she watches herself watching it grow, bracing for its explosion. She wants to hurt Shiv in a way that she knows the other woman is familiar with. In a way that will leave them both wrecked and desolate, and begging for more. If there’s anything she’s learnt from spinning like a satellite around Logan Roy’s orbit, it’s to take a punch like sweet wine. To lap it up and stick her cup out for more.

Mostly, though, she wants to kiss Shiv. She wants to run her hands through her hair and rub soft circles along her temples, where her headaches always start. She wants to go home and have Shiv curl herself around her, her body a question mark that Karolina never wants to unravel. 

The room they are in is darker, quieter, but Karolina’s eyes still catch the glint of Shiv’s wedding band, and a loud pop goes off in her head.

“I guess you’re right, Shiv. But you don’t seem to mind when it’s you I’m fetching for, right?” she swallows harshly. “Like when you and Tom have a fight, and you need someone to fuck the anger away? Then I’m convenient.” she watches Shiv’s eyes widen.

“Oh, please! You’re going for the suffering side piece, really? I thought you had more self-respect than that.”

The teddy-bear doesn’t offer any input. The walls, though, start growing darker, crowding in on Karolina.

“No, don’t worry, I know my place in your life. Clear as fucking day.” she throws out a bitter laugh.

At least Shiv looks as haggard as she feels, though it brings Karolina more sorrow than joy.

“Right. That’s why you’ve been acting so sour, huh?” Shiv raises a hand to her chin, letting out an ironic tsk. “Funny, ‘cause I seem to remember you being the one who put out the fucking wedding announcement. And—correct me if I’m wrong, but was that not before you had your legs wrapped around my head like you were the sluttiest little cowgirl at the county fair riding the mechanical bull?” she finishes making her point by shaking her head.

Karolina can tell she’s just getting started, too, just stoking her appetite before diving in for the main course. She tries to come up with something to say, anything to make the knot in her chest release. In the dim hum of the room, she can hear her own ragged breathing. She can feel it crawling over her, that great all-encompassing dread.

She tries to draw herself up to her full height, swallowing the knot growing in her throat. “And what a good job I did, right? Almost made it seem like a real marriage.”

“Better than nothing, though, isn’t it?” Shiv puckers her lips in faux concern. “Tell me, Karolina, who’s waiting for you at home?”

Karolina doesn’t have Shiv’s boarding school background, but she went to a public high-school in a neighbourhood where every kid was fighting to be considered middle-class, so she knows how sweet passive aggression feels dripping off the tongue.

“Siobhan…” she starts. “Do you think that’s sadder than marrying someone whose eyes light up more when he sees your father than when he sees you?”

Despite the drumming in her ears, she catches Shiv’s sharp inhale as the brunt of her words hit her. It’s such a miserable type of satisfaction, to tear at the flesh of a loved one—if she could call the wound they’ve been picking at love.

It feels like a giving up and scratching at chickenpox marks. All those scars for one moment of relief. In the absence of a gentle hand to rub soothing circles of calming lotion over the marks, she supposes it’s only natural to find solace in the pain.       

“You’re fucking pathetic.” Shiv says, as if she’d been contemplating the fact since their very first meeting.

“Am I?” Karolina frowns. She can feel her chest start to strain uncomfortably. She tries to swallow, but finds it increasingly hard to do so.

“Yeah.” Shiv nods, lips downturned in disgust. “You won’t admit it to yourself, but you do like the fact that I’m married, Karolina. Because it makes you feel chosen. But the truth is, you’re just terribly, awfully, pathetically fucking common.”

A common whore, to make matters worse.

She’s not wrong. There had been times where Karolina’s indulged in the smug grin on Shiv’s face as she claimed Karolina’s body, laid her hungry fingers on it and made it hers. Stole gasps out of Karolina’s throat and made them into her own melody. And Karolina let it happened, let the cool glint of Shiv’s eyes brand her like cattle because being someone’s meant she was something to begin with.

These moments though, had been a lowering of arms, a truce at the gates of a castle made of rumpled up sheets. She supposes she should’ve seen it coming, though, because Shiv fucked like she fought – ravenously and without compromise.

“And you’re not, Shiv?” she laughs. “Why? Because your daddy’s the most powerful man in the world, and you’re his pinky?”

She presses a heavy hand to the bridge of her nose, trying to dissipate the dark spots clouding her vision.

Shiv stands before her with clenched fists and a set jaw, and Karolina fights the urge to ask for a kiss with a fist.

Shiv clears her throat, crossing her arms. “That’s why you’re fucking me, though, right?” she scoffs. “Cause you’re too afraid of dick, so I’m the closest you’ll get to fucking all that power?”

“I thought I was fucking you, Shiv. That last name is something only you keep clinging on to.”

“Oh, fuck off.” Shiv laughs. “Stick to your little corporate memos, yeah, Freud.”

“Did you actually read any Freud, or is he just the only psychoanalyst you know?” Karolina says weakly. “You should, if you haven’t—he had some very interesting things to say about fathers and daughters.”

Whatever reaction Shiv might have had, Karolina can’t see it. There’s a war drum pummelling at her head, and a dark cloud settling over her eyes. Her chest feels tight, as if gripped in an invisible vise, and very little skin and sinew separating her heart from the acrid air of the room.

It always starts like this, with crowding walls and a loud ringing that reminds her of those awful national emergency alarms. She tries to focus on Shiv’s face, but it’s hard to make her out in the darkness and the blurry veil of tears gathering in her eyes. Karolina knows she needs to get out, but finds her legs have turned to cinder blocks. Then it gets harder and harder to breathe, until she feels like she’s choking, her diaphragm caving in on itself.

She thinks she hears Shiv call out her name, but the only thing she can focus on is her own shaking hands, grasping at each other. Had she been holding something? Where was her phone? She shakes her head, managing to take a step back when she feels Shiv reaching out for her.

“Don’t. Just—just go, please.”

“Did you take something?” Shiv’s voice cuts through the ringing of her ears. She tries to laugh, but it sounds more like retching.

“Fuck.” she tries to get her breathing under control, digging the heel of her palm into her sternum.

She can’t see that well, but she feels Shiv’s hands flutter anxiously around her.

“Do you want me to get—fuck.” she pauses. “Should I go get help?” Shiv’s voice sounds miles away, a fata morgana promising Karolina something that looks like warmth.

“Just go. Please.” she chokes out. Even under the crushing weight pressing on her chest, Karolina cringes at how pathetic her voice sounds. Like roadkill begging to be put out of its misery.

And Shiv does.

The worried arms withdraw, and suddenly Karolina is alone in a giant nursery, trying to count her breaths along with the ugly stars painted on the walls. She finally manages to take back control of her legs, and slinks to the floor, bracing her head between her knees. Through the tears streaming down her face she catches that godawful teddy-bear staring at her with its cold, unflinching gaze, and thinks back to a time where she thought she might go on to change the world. To make a difference. If she really is dying, if her heart has finally decided to hang up its hat, then it’s only fitting her final judge and jury would be a giant, fake totem massacring the very thing it was meant to represent.

Through her heaving, she doesn’t hear anyone enter the room, until she feels something cold and hard press against the back of her neck, and a firm grip on her wrist.  

“Please don’t puke. Or, like, give me a heads-up.” she hears Shiv whisper.

Karolina’s only heard her speak so softly in the dark of the bedroom, when she’d halfway be hoping not to be heard. Shiv’s hand is cold, too, as she rubs soothing circles on her left wrist, the other hand still holding the cold compress against Karolina’s neck.

“You wanna try stepping outside?”

Karolina shakes her head. It’s barely there, but she feels the slightest easing of pressure on her chest. She tries to focus on the damp coolness on her neck, tries to imagine it spreading throughout her body, soothing the fire burning beneath her skin. She reaches out her right hand blindly, trying to grasp Shiv’s wrist, trying to follow that fervent pulsing of life.

“Yeah?” Shiv says, adjusting her hand so Karolina could grip it better. They stay like that for a while, hands grasped like roman soldiers, Shiv’s quiet sighs and Karolina’s ragged breaths the only sound around them. Karolina wonders briefly if the party’s finished, if they’re the only ones left in this haunted menagerie of broken childhoods. Shiv seems to see her attention slipping away, because she shakes her wrist free, taking Karolina’s palm and placing it above her breastbone.

“Just follow me, yeah?” she murmurs.

Karolina nods, closing her eyes and letting her hand be the only tether to the world, Shiv’s pulse her only guiding light. As her breathing slowly starts to slow down, she contemplates pointing out the fact that Shiv’s own breathing is shaky, her heart trembling like a hummingbird’s wings, but she ultimately decides against it. The warmth of Shiv’s body and the soft silk of her dress are doing a fine job of easing Karolina’s nerves nonetheless.

When she finally feels the fog start to lift from her eyes, she turns to see Shiv watching her intently, with wide eyes and furrowed brows. It scares her, the intensity of Shiv’s gaze. Like she’s not just looking at Karolina, but seeing her. Holding her in her mind as more than a moment in a bed.

“You okay?”

This time Karolina manages a weak laugh. She bites her lip, avoiding Shiv’s steely gaze.

“Mhm.” she nods. “Is that a wine bottle?” she frowns at the object Shiv’s just removed from her neck.

Shiv stars laughing, her wet eyes glinting in the weak light.

“I was gonna get a wet paper-towel or something, but I couldn’t find the bathroom.” she sighs.

“Where’d you find this?”

“Stole it from the bar.” she flashes Karolina a proud grin.

Shaking off the last of her panic attack, Karolina turns a weary head towards Shiv.

“Thank you.”

Shier than she’s ever seen her, Shiv shrugs the gratitude away, changing her position from kneeling by her side to sitting down flush against Karolina’s side, and linking their arms together.

“Would’ve been awkward to just let you die. I mean, who would we even get to draft the press release on such short notice?” she turns to shoot her a serious look.

“Hugo?” Karolina tries.

“Bleugh.” she fake retches. “I wouldn’t that to you, even if we were at each other’s throats.”

She nuzzles her head in the crook of Karolina’s shoulder, her hand fiddling with the sleeve of Karolina’s shirt.

“Why are we—at each other’s throats? Did I do something?” Shiv almost sounds like a scolded child, making the guilt twist itself tighter around Karolina’s heart.

“No.” she sighs. “I...I’ve just had too much to drink and I got bitter and selfish.”

“Yeah, but why?” she presses. “I’m not a dummy, Novotney, whatever I did has been bothering you for longer than this night.”

“You didn’t do anything, Shiv.”

Karolina closes her eyes as Shiv turns her head to look at her, soft gaze burning the side of her face. She clears her throat.

“You’re trying for a baby.” she finally turns to meet Shiv’s gaze, cheeks burning with shame. “And I have no right to be upset about that.”

“What?” Shiv frowns. “Where the fuck did you get that?”

“During the shareholder meeting.” she sighs. “Tom left his phone on a table at some point, and I guess he got a notification about your, ahem, baby window. I had no right to snoop, I’m sorry.”

Shiv unwinds their arms, bringing both of her hands to massage her temples.

“Jesus fuck!” she blurts out. “Karolina, I am not trying for a baby. That’s—I don’t even really fucking understand it myself, but I am not trying to get pregnant.” she wrings her hands, grasping at her own frustration.

“It doesn’t matter. I still shouldn’t have reacted that way.” Karolina presses. “It was out of line.”

“Fuck the line.” Shiv shakes her head. She looks like she’s deciding if the dim light of the room is dark enough to let her tell Karolina the truth.

“You were right, earlier.” she sighs. “I can’t play the suffering side piece. I knew what I was getting into when we started this.”

“No, that was—I was pissed off that you wouldn’t talk to me. You know I was just trying to push your buttons.”

“It’s still the truth.”

Shiv shakes her head softly again, like she doesn’t accept her statement. She contemplates for only a second, before picking up the discarded bottle of wine, popping out its stopper, and taking a swig. She extends her hand towards Karolina, offering her the by now lukewarm prosecco, but gets waved off with a tight smile, reminding her of why they were currently sitting on the floor of a creepy nursery replica.

Neither of them say anything for a while, lying side by side like two discarded dolls. Karolina eyes the teddy-bear, for a second swearing she could see a hint of smugness in its beady eyes.

After a third sip from the bottle, Shiv finally breaks the silence.

“Tom’s been trying to get me pregnant. I didn’t know about it until the shareholder’s meeting, either.” she laughs bitterly.

“What?” Karolina feels a rush of anger fall down on her head like a hammer.

“Yeah. I don’t know—I can’t even begin to fucking process that.” She takes another small sip from the bottle. “He didn’t wanna fuck me after I told him I was still on my birth control—said it was like throwing batter at a brick wall.”

Karolina can’t see Shiv’s face, but she can hear the quiet sniffling the other woman is trying to hide. She reaches a hand and pulls Shiv back to her side, closing any bit of distance between them. Despite the dizzying murmur still gripping her mind, she feels the urge to track Tom down and bash his head in with her phone, until the sticky alcohol gets washed off by a much more satisfying offering.

She doesn’t know what to say to Shiv, can barely comprehend the horror gripping the other woman. How dare that man? It’s not that she sees Shiv as something other than human, no. And, she supposes, that might be the entire point. That Shiv is a woman and men will try to mould women to any shape they desire. Even men like Tom. Even women like Shiv.

For lack of any words that could take away Shiv’s dreadful confusion and anger, she kisses the other woman’s head and hopes it’s enough. Or at least that it’s something.

She doesn’t soften her grip until she feels Shiv’s chest slow its frantic rise and fall, until she’s sure her hold on Shiv isn’t the only thing keeping her from falling apart.

Finally, Shiv herself lifts her head from the crook of Karolina’s shoulder, with blood-shot eyes and a sorrowful scowl marring her features.

“Can I stay over?” she whispers. She looks like she’s about to justify her request, before Karolina cuts her off.

“Of course.”

“You don’t have to…” she continues, before Karolina cuts her off again.

“I want you to.” she reaches a hand to cup Shiv’s cheek, rubbing a shaking thumb over the warm dampness she finds there. “I want you with me.” She’ll repeat it as many times as it takes for Shiv to realize how easy to want she really is.

She’s hard to open up, and hard to keep a hold of, yes, but Karolina’s never found it hard to want her. To want to have her in her life, for fear of wanting things—bigger and scarier things, that she knows she shouldn’t let herself want.

“Thanks.” Shiv says, clearing her throat.

She’s never been good at talking outside of the abstract, so Karolina replies in the only language she knows Shiv won’t doubt. She kisses her, a soft and sad sigh passing through them like an electric charge. A mess of limbs in an ugly, cold tomb of a misshapen memory, warmed solely by each other’s body.

They gather themselves off the floor, still holding onto each other, like kids afraid of letting go of a helium-filled balloon. Shiv’s hair is a tangled mess, her face splotchy and still sticky with tears, and Karolina doesn’t have to look in a mirror to feel the pools of mascara gathered under her eyes like the torn-up trenches of some bloody battle.

Shiv seems to have read her mind.

“We should wash up first, huh?” she smiles ruefully. “Kendall might think we’re actually touched by his immersive trauma dump.”

“Maybe we should give him the satisfaction.” Karolina laughs, shaking her head. “It is his birthday.”

“I think there’s been enough yes-men involved in this shit fest.” she scoffs. “Come on, let’s find that fucking toilet. I’ve been close to pissing myself for the past, like, half an hour.”

She grabs Karolina’s wrist, keeping a loose grip on it even as they make their way back into the crowd and have to break apart. It feels mortifying and exhilarating, being so reckless under these neon lights. Like they might get away with it, or do it anyway, despite the consequences.

-

The ride to Karolina’s is silent, both of them finally bearing the full weight of their exhaustion. Shiv hasn’t said anything about where she’s told Tom she’d be going, or whether she’s told him at all, so Karolina doesn’t ask. She’s tired of letting these men throw their weight around even when they’re not in the room. All she cares about, anyway, is the weight of Shiv’s hand in hers, the soft skin and firm muscle, the way her fingers twitch slightly at every ghost of a touch.

It’s tiring, living her life in the abstract. Shaping herself into ideas of a life she’s decided she must live.

Shiv is real, though. She’s solid and burning brightly beside Karolina, and she’s not someone Karolina could ever see as theoretical. She’s alive in a way that scares Karolina, an unknown, uncontrollable variable defined only by herself. Occupying a place in the world shaped by herself, bent with bare hands and fury out of whatever mould she’d been thrown into. She can’t imagine how isolating that must have been, living her entire life clawing at the walls of one cage after the other, thrashing against every expectation of what she could and should and mustbe.

She used to think that what they were doing, this clumsy, clandestine clashing of hands and teeth in dark rooms, that this was a fantasy for the both of them. An imagined slice of life. A daydream they could fall into when real life was weighing them down. She’s slowly coming to realize that it might, in fact, be the other way around. That the closest she’s come to feeling real in months has been when Shiv is touching her. That she can’t hear anything quite as clearly as Shiv’s soft sighs. That life comes rushing over her every time she feels her knees press against the edge of the mattress, and drains out of her when she hears her alarm go off.

“Can we…” Shiv stirs next to her.

Karolina urges her to continue. “What?”

“Everything I said—I just wanted it to hurt.” she whispers. “I don’t think about you like that.”

She begins to pull her hand away, but Karolina grasps onto it tighter, tethering Shiv to the moment.

“I know.” she nods. “I don’t think about you like that, either.”

Shiv chances a look in Karolina’s direction. “Yeah?”

They share a brief, watery smile, which feels like the most intimate thing they’ve done. They’ve bared their bodies to each other, but never the beast of their anger—never the things lurking beneath their skin, the urge to tear and shatter.

In that tiny moment, it doesn’t feel like they’re looking into each other’s eyes, but somewhere beyond. It feels like taking a deep breath and stepping into the dark entryway of a basement, commanding the dark and telling it to scatter—telling it you’re home.

#shivlina #succession fic #shiv x karolina #shivlina fic exchange #monkey covering eyes emoji #my fics

[janfraiser]

📚📚📚 (that’s right, three rounds s’il vous plait ;)

haha thank you for the triple ask! I'll give you the other two in separate posts. this is sort of a prequel to a s4 canon divergence fic I'm working on, and... I did not intend for it to get this long 😅 (this is for the pinterest ask game 👀)

PUT ME BACK TOGETHER AGAIN

Succession s4 canon divergence ~ kenrava ~ 1,213 words ~ rated M

He calls her once, twice, three times, after the funeral. Way after the funeral. It's late, so late that she could be asleep, could be legitimately missing his calls, but he doubts she would answer if she was awake.

And maybe this isn't the most logical next step, after that polite but implicit denial, but earlier that day he'd threatened to lay down in front of her car so he's not feeling fucking logical on the day of his dad's funeral and Roman is AWOL and Shiv is-- fucking pregnant? Maybe staying with Tom? Not a shoulder to lean on, at any rate, so Kendall dodges business partners and politicians and everyone else who wants to probe him about the GoJo deal or tell him how deeply fucking sorry they are and finally collapses into the backseat of his car.

He checks his watch.

Half past two in the morning.

He calls his driver anyway, Fikret is used to keeping up with his weirdass schedule, and asks him to take him upstate. In the time it takes him to arrive, he double checks with the security team he still has following Rava and the kids. Which, okay, he can see how that maybe could've been a little intimidating. But it tells him to head up the coast to Connecticut, and he feels a painful weight in his chest when he gives Fikret the address to the beach house he and Rava had picked out together sometime between their engagement and honeymoon. He really... he can't remember the last time he was there.

The drive takes less than two hours, and when Kendall looks at his watch and sees that it reads 4:30, he winces a little. Rava probably won't be thrilled that he's waking her up at this hour.

He has Fikret pull into the garage, because the code is the date they got engaged and it's the same for really every password they'd both needed to know. Never their wedding anniversary, interestingly enough. Rava had said, way back when, that that was too easy to find and guess. But it feels a little metaphorical now.

Kendall is leaning against the hood of the car, frowning at the door leading into the house and wondering if he can open the deadbolt with his mind, when it opens on its own. He only wonders if he's suddenly become a Jedi for about half a second before Rava appears, wearing an old R.E.M concert tee with just her underwear, her go-to pajamas for as long as he'd known her.

"Ken!?" Her voice is hoarse with sleep and he's making damn sure that his eyes are glued to hers and she runs a hand through her bedhead as she descends the stairs, stopping a good six feet away from him. "Why the fuck are you here?"

He swallows hard, unable to think of an all-encompassing answer. "...to apologize," he offers quietly. "I... Rav, I've been saying some fucked-up shit. And I don't know-- I barely know what's going on in my head half the time, let alone coming out my mouth. But I don't want to lose you."

She raises both eyebrows, hands on her hips. "It's a little late for that."

"No, I mean..." he really doesn't need a reminder that he's divorced. He's well aware of that on any given day. "What I was saying about making a play for custody. That-- that was stupid. You're a good mother, Rava, way fucking better than I am as a dad. I just needed to say that. I need you to know that I'm sorry, and that I-- I love you." He winces at the surprise and wariness that flash over her face. "In a-- you know. Divorced co-parents kind of way." He stares at her, swallowing hard, trying not to blink. He's never gotten over her, ever, doesn't she fucking know that?

"Even though I'm hysterical?" She smiles, a little viciously, and he can tell the more she wakes up the angrier he's getting, but he takes a step forward anyway, trying to get invited in instead of kicked out.

"I didn't want you to be freaking out," he tries. "I-- I wanted the kids at their grandfather's funeral, but in hindsight, I understand why you didn't, and it was probably good that they weren't there. You were right."

She lifts her chin, regarding him icily. "About...?"

Kendall bites back a huff. "I don't know, fucking-- everything? You were right that I needed to clean up my act for the kids and you were right that I didn't have the willpower to do it and you were right that one time you yelled at me that my dad didn't love me enough to fulfill any of his promises, because he didn't and now my whole life is a gaping hole and I'm fighting the Swedes for my birthright, and you were right to resist me trying to be for the kids what he was for me because he was a good business leader and a fucking shitty dad, but I was a shitty dad anyway, you were right about that too, and you were right when you said that if I drove you away I would regret it eventually." He nods jerkily. "I do. I do regret it. You're my fuckin' lighthouse, Rava. You always have been. I think I need you now worse than I ever have before."

She folds her arms over her chest. "That's too fucking bad."

He winces. "Yeah. I deserve that."

The silence stretches out before them, and everything feels fragile and breakable, and he tries to reach out without actually reaching for her, like that will lessen the sting of rejection. "Rava. What can I do to make it up to you?"

She sighs slowly. "Drive back to New York?"

He swallows hard. "Look, say the word and I will, but I really think we should talk."

"That's the problem, Kendall," Rava says through gritted teeth, stepping closer to him. "I don't-- I am sick and tired of listening to you talk. You're all bark and no bite, and you change your mind with the weather. I stopped believing most of what comes out of your mouth a year ago."

He reaches out, since she's getting closer, gently resting his hand on her arm. He doesn't want her to think he's trying to restrain her. "Then I could... crash in the guest room? Spend time with the kids tomorrow? Give you space, but still try to fix what I've fucked up this week?"

Rava closes her eyes, leans into him. "I-- I don't know, Kendall."

Gently, carefully, he reaches out to cup her cheek, his fingers brushing through her hair. "Please," he whispers. "Let me try."

She looks up at him. "Sophie's going to be worse than I am."

"I'm prepared for that," he murmurs. "What do you need, right now? While the kids are asleep?"

She steps back from him, looks him up and down. He thinks he recognizes the look in her eye, but surely--

And then Rava is kissing him, her hands around his neck, her body warm against his. She's shaking. Or he is.

Kendall closes his eyes and kisses her back.

#succession #succession fic #ask meme #lilly tag #kenrava #kendall roy #rava roy #julie fics

[shehungthemoon]

ajdfbjk okay what about ,, kendall/ward for one of the hand-holding prompts ('holding hands under the table' is soooo [chef's kiss] but . all of them are wonderful !!)

gael im kissing you on the mouth and going fucking insane 🖤 x

The bar was blaringly loud and smelled like the sticky sweet sugar of mixed drinks. He breathed it in, catching the whispering trails of cigarette smoke and holding it in the back of his throat. Ward thought he might forget what color his suit was if he stayed in here under the neon strobe lights for much longer.

It was more of a club than anything. He felt all of twenty-one again and all too old at the same time, and he couldn’t bring himself to take another step into the place, nor a step back out the doorway he came from. He felt glued to the spot. That could be the bar tar, though.

He gripped the cell phone in his hand and vaguely considered lowering the brightness so it wouldn’t be shining like a beacon in the dark of the room. He didn't make a move to, though. Didn't make a move to do much of anything.

He was jostled out of his frozen indecision by the sharp heel of a stiletto stabbing the top of his foot. The girl that tumbled into him from the side blinked fast and unfocused up somewhere near his face, and Ward swallowed a swear.

“Whoa!” She slurred, still stumbling against him to get upright. “In the way, man. Sorry! Move, mm-please.”

Ward felt his spine stiffen and his diaphragm spasm as he looked down at her, at the muddled-silver glitter streaking down her throat to the swells of her breasts, at the way her baby hairs were tangled and slicked to her forehead with sweat. He felt all at once heavy and adrift and fucking overwhelmed, and with a jolt he pushed himself away from her and the doorway and through the mess of bodies and high-tops until he hit the back wall, until he saw, thank holy Jesus, who he came here for.

“You don’t really fucking fit in here, do you,” he said, trying to not look like he was collapsing against the bar next to the man. He refused to sit. That implied staying.

Kendall’s chest shrunk in on himself; Ward imagined the sound of him exhaling heavily through his nose, what he couldn’t hear through the pounding bass and loud conversations. “Neither fucking do you, you fucking uh, relic.” He finally turned his head enough to glance at Ward out the corner of his eyes. “How old is that stiff fucking tie.”

Ward thought: Probably older than half the people in here. He didn't deign to respond.

Ward threw his cell onto the bartop a little too forcefully. After a beat Kendall glanced at the screen, still too bright for the dark of the club. Kendall squinted at it, then finished off the shot glass in his hand. Ward wondered if he’d been sipping at it like a fucked-up freak.

Kendall’s face was still infuriatingly blank, reactionless. He kept his dull eyes forward, somehow catching the attention of a bartender despite the way he seemed almost invisible where he sat, dark hair and drab clothing melding down into his chair and into the flickering shadows around him.

“Fucker,” Ward said, lowly. You made me drive halfway around town, it said. You wasted my fucking time, it said. You made me fucking worry, it said.

Kendall responded by sliding a shot glass in front of him, palming his own with his other hand. Ward didn't even see the bartender put them down. He gritted his teeth and grabbed his phone off the bar, clicking the off button as he did and hiding the searing white light of the Find My iPhone screen for good. He glared down at his glass. He couldn't tell the color of its contents, with the club lights throwing offensive pinks and oranges everywhere.

“This is fucking shit,” Ward hissed through the harsh burn running along his tongue and against the back of his throat. “What the fuck Kendall.”

“It’s,” Kendall waved his hand over the bar, voice flat and echoey. “Watermelon flavor.”

Ward couldn’t wrap his mind around that. Refused to, actually. Fucking watermelon.

“It’s worse than vodka straight.”

The muscles of Kendall’s throat moved in a manner that suggested he was attempting a laugh. “A brand issue. Don’t knock the fuckin’ flavor.”

Fucking watermelon.

“If you say you’ve had more than three of these I’m leaving you.”

“Ok, bro. We’re in too fucking deep for that.”

That's not what Ward meant. He meant he’d leave through the door he came in and get back in his fucking car. He only put fifteen minutes on the meter, he’d walked half that to get here.

Ward felt anger and pain and something even worse than all that bubble in his throat. His chest hurt, his head hurt, and the music was too loud against his eardrums.

He sat down in the chair next to Kendall and shoved his front teeth into his tongue until he could catch the eye of the bartender and order a coke.

“Pussy,” Kendall said.

Ward kept his gaze forward, eyes falling over the rainbow of liquids and labels lining the back wall. He reached out a hand, safe and hidden from the searchlights of the club under the darkness of the bar, and found Kendall’s fingers easily. He let the tension bleed out of him, didn't have to force the small smile he gave the bartender when he placed a new glass down in front of him. He curled his fingers around Kendall’s where they rested low on the man’s thigh, and felt the condensation cascade along his other hand’s as he took a sip from his drink. It was syrupy and balmy against the still bitter taste of the vodka in his mouth.

He felt Kendall shift under their hands, and imagined him exhaling again.

They sat in silence for a bit.

Eventually the thought of his ticking meter became urgent enough to move. He explained as much to Kendall with softer tones than he meant to, shifting out of his seat.

Kendall let him go far enough for most of their fingers to drop, but curled his pointer finger around Ward’s thumb at the last moment. He swallowed as Kendall pushed himself out of his own chair, leaving his shot untouched. Ward was glad he’d had his own as Kendall tugged them toward the exit, through the warm bodies and exposing lights, fingers still looped.

The closer they got to the doorway the more the music faded, and the tightness in chest loosened, and the worry slowly seeped from his brain and his spine and his lungs like it was never there.

Kendall tightened his hold when they finally stumbled into the cool night air, and Ward breathed easy.

#welcome to the only piece of fiction for this ship on earth. sorry it sucks. #gael pls feel free to send more this made me insane #kendall roy #succession #ward meachum #iron fist #mcu #my fic #ward x kendall #gael and arella's fucked up business-core rarepair tag #ask #🌻

[btsqualityy]

I couldn’t help myself…(goes and hides…lol)

Kennedy sat in her en-suite bathroom, waiting to see if her life was about to change once again…or to say for the fourth time. Waiting for these 2 minutes to pass was killing her, and Taewook had started banging on the door. It made Kennedy even more frustrated and anxious.

“Baby, come on! We have to go get the girls. You know how Aaliyah gets if we’re late,” he said.

Kennedy sighed and looked at the test. “Fuck, its positive,” she whispered to herself.

She picked up the test and took a shaky breath in. This pregnancy was definitely not planned. Hell! Kendall was only 18 months and they weren’t actively trying. Kennedy looked at it again to make sure she read it right. This was her third one this today alone.

“Yup, it is...”

“Kenny? Come out please…you’re scaring me. What are you doing in there?”

“Hold on, Tae!”

When Kennedy heard her husband’s footsteps retreat, she quickly put the test back in the box and threw it in the trash. She washed her hands and looked in the mirror. Kennedy took a deep breath in and went to open the door. As Kennedy opened the door, Kendall glued herself on to her mother’s leg. She was so clingy these days.

“Mommy? Up?” She said in her small voice around her binky. “Uppie…”

Kennedy smiled sweetly and picked her baby girl up. Kendall smiled back at her and nuzzled into her mother’s neck. Taewook came back into the room and went right up to his wife.

“What’s wrong, baby?” he said putting his arms around her and Kendall.

“I don’t feel good,” Kennedy said, putting her face in his neck. “I feel like s-h-i-t…”

He tightened his arms around his girls and Taewook sighed. “I know. You look pale and sleepy,” he said, kissing her forehead. “Warm too. I can get the girls and you can rest.”

As Kennedy was about to protest, Kendall popped her head up from her mother’s neck. She took out her binky.

“Kisses,” Kendall said.

Tae kissed Kennedy’s lips softly. He kissed them again and again and again. He then turned to Kendall and kissed her cheek.

“Feel better, baby?” he smiled.

“A little. My stomach hurts still.” Kennedy pouted, forgetting that Tae didn’t know she was pregnant.

However, Taewook looked in Kennedy eyes, searching for something. Kennedy couldn’t look him in the eyes anymore, because of the emotions she was feeling. Taewook gently cupped his wife’s cheeks and sighed. He made her look at him.

“You are, aren’t you?” he said simply, keeping her gaze.

“Yes,” she whispered as she began nuzzling her daughter to distract herself from her husband’s intense state. “I am.”

“You tested?” he asked, titling Kennedy’s head up to look straight into her eyes.

“I took a test and it was positive. It was my 3rd one today,” she said, looking back at Taewook, watching his face go through many emotions before settling a emotion she couldn’t really read.

“Shit…um, ok…we need to talk to your doctor,” he whispered kissing Kennedy’s forehead.

“You’re not mad? I mean it’s not planned.” She asked. “You want this baby?”

“No. Just worried. I don’t want what happened last time with Aaliyah to happen again but you had an ultra healthy pregnancy with baby girl here so we can only hope,” he whispered. “I want this baby. I want whatever child we make together from the love we share. I love you Kennedy…I love this baby…”

Kennedy smiled showing her gummy smile. “I love you too.”

“Love mommy and daddy too!” Kendall said not likening being left out.

Both her parents smiled at her and kissed her cheeks. “We love you too sweetheart.”

Oop, not another baby! I love this 🥹Kennedy and Tae-wook’s relationship just never fails to make me so soft 🥰and I love how he just knew because that’s how I imagine Tae to be: super in tune with his wife and her needs since she hesitates to speak up sometimes!

#adult kennedy #are we making a fourth baby canon? #I wanna say yes 😂 #but only because Kennedy’s the sweetest and deserves all the happiness 😌

[louisironson]

any succ fic of yours that contains the word "love" or the closest thing to it... :0

aw man none of my succ wips have the word love in them or even something like “lovely”… elopement risk has some but only in the chapter i already published.

this is the closest i’ve let these repressed motherfuckers get, i suppose

“He already doesn’t have a girlfriend. It would be like, almost as bad. If my Dad heard you say something about him, like that. At all.”

“How is he supposed to have a girlfriend anyway? He’s thirteen and goes to an all-boys school. He doesn’t even know any girls besides his sister.”

“I dunno.” Kendall flicks the lighter aimlessly, eyes glued to the spark between his fingertips. “It’s cause he’s like… sensitive. You know?”

“Yeah,” Stewy agrees.

“So I’ve gotta like protect him.”

“Yeah, real bang-up job you’re doing, Ken.”

“Shut the fuck up, dude.”

send me a word and i’ll give you a passage from a wip that includes it (or, on the off chance not one of my wips contains it, the next best thing)

#asks #jordanenthusiast

[bunnybevvyy]

*Major Spoilers for Succession*

I have A LOT of thoughts about the episode, Connor’s Wedding, so I wanted to talk about my initial reaction to what was happening, while also analyzing the kid’s reaction to Logan’s death, and why it was so impactful to me.

While I was watching the scene when they got the call from Tom about Logan getting chest compressions, I was just so shocked like many, many other viewers. I audibly screamed, “WHAT!? They killed him off screen????” Just so many feelings of confusion hitting me suddenly. But as the scene went on, watching the kid’s react to the news at the very same time as I am, I quickly realized how Logan’s death off screen was completely on purpose.

And they conveyed the emotions of losing a loved so accurately that it gave me a flashback of when my aunt called me to tell me that my grandma had passed away. It is a phone call all people at some point in their lives receive, and that moment was communicated so excellently. The longer the camera stayed on the Roy siblings, the more heartbroken I felt. At one point I felt entirely intrusive as the phone call with Tom just kept going. I felt like an intruder in their personal space that needed privacy, but I later realized that that was on purpose as well.

I was very uncomfortable, but that was the point. Watching Roman’s denial that his father is actually gone until he sees the body, and knowing that the actual final words his dad might’ve heard from him were words spoken with anger and defiance caused Roman to feel immense guilt, hoping there is a way to take back what he had said by protecting himself by being in denial was phenomenal.

Kendall couldn’t forgive him, but still loves his father. Kendall’s desperate attempt to take control of the situation and find solutions when there isn’t any. And because of capitalism there is no time to grieve, so he took initiative to try to shape the narrative so that the markets don’t reflect badly on Waystar.

Shiv’s final words to her father was such an emotional gut punch that grappled my heart. Her voice trembling as she told him everything will be okay and that she loves him, even though she was still angry with him. Just the obvious disbelief in her voice that this is actually happening left me so teary eyed. The fact that she was hoping that it was bad news about her mom rather than dad makes me think about the scene on her wedding where her mom told her that she wished that she never had her, and how Shiv would rather have an abusive father but at least she's the favorite, than have a mother that practically wants nothing to do with her.

Connor’s reaction to the news, while not as explosive with emotion like the other siblings, was just as impactful. With quotes like, “He never even liked me,” and “... I didn’t get the chance to make him proud of me,” made me feel so sympathetic towards him especially since it was revealed that cake is triggering for him as it reminds him of the day that his mother was forcefully admitted into a mental hospital and they gave him cake to keep him calm during that time.

The actors worked very hard on this emotionally taxing episode, and it shows. My eyes were glued to the screen both times I watched the episode, and I can go on and on about how impactful it was, but alas this post is already very long lol it was probably the best episode of a series I've ever watched that gave off season finale vibes but it was only episode 3!!!!!!!! What an emotional rollercoaster of an episode, and I can't wait to find out what happens next.

#personal #succession spoilers #succession #long post

[rosenallies]

Concerned/worried prompt 15 with sick au. Kendall and Gia left Synthia alone so they could do a gig under the caveat that he would keep them updated and alert someone if he needed help. But he stopped updating them shortly before they were done performing and now that they’re heading home he’s not answering any of their calls or texts 😯

15. “I thought something had happened to you.”

——

Gia bounced their knee up and down, anxiety buzzing through their body in the back of the Uber, phone glued to their hand on the off chance that Synthia would finally text them back.

Sliding a hand over, Kendall placed his hand on their knee, ceasing the bouncing. “The driver is getting irritated,” he whispered, the driver’s face relaxing when the bouncing stopped.

“I’m sorry,” Gia sighed, lacing their fingers with Kendall’s, “I’m worried.”

“I know, I am too. I’m sure he just fell asleep and everything’s gonna be fine. We’re almost home.”

Gia nodded, staring out the window, watching the streetlights pass by and blur together.

A few more minutes had passed and finally the driver was pulling up outside the home they shared together with Synthia. Kendall thanked the driver and took care of the bags while Gia all but sprinted inside.

“Synth?” They called, peering around the corner into the dark living room that looked as untouched as it did when they left a few hours prior.

“We never should have left him alone like this,” Gia said as Kendall came up behind them.

“Like I said, baby, he’s probably asleep in the bedroom. Let’s go check.”

They walked hand in hand to the bedroom, where they found Synthia laying face down on the bed, breathing evenly. A sigh of relief left Gia’s lips as they dropped Kendall’s hand, sitting on the bed bedside Synthia, a gentle hand running through his hair.

“Hi, baby,” they cooed softly as he woke up, blinking up at him.

“Hi,” he replied quietly, his voice slightly pained.

“I thought something had happened to you. Have you been asleep the whole time, baby?”

“Yeah,” Synthia lied, “I was really tired.”

Kendall and Gia saw right through his lie, his eyes always shifting slightly when he lied. “Did something happen?” Kendall spoke softly, running a hand down his back, quickly retracting his touch when Synthia winced, weakly jerking away from his touch.

“Is it your back? Is your back bothering you?”

Synthia’s cheeks burned with shame as he nodded. “I-I fell,” he whispered.

“You fell?!” Gia exclaimed, guilt twisting their insides for leaving him alone. No matter how much he insisted he’d be fine, they still had a nagging feeling something would go wrong.

Tears blurred Synthia’s vision. “Th-that’s why I couldn’t text you back. I dropped my phone when I fell and I didn’t grab it before I crawled to bed. I-I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be sorry,” Kendall said, wiping Synthia’s tears away with his thumb, “ ‘S not your fault, baby. I just wish you would have been able to call us. You said your back hurt, did you fall on your back?”

“Yeah.”

“I’m gonna check, okay? Make sure you don’t need to go to the hospital.”

Gingerly, Kendall lifted up his sweatshirt, trying not to gasp when he saw the state of Synthia’s back. Despite being only a few hours old, if that, bruises littered his back, all along his spine and blooming on his right shoulder blade in an ugly cloud of dark purple.

“Oh Synthia,” Gia said in disbelief. They shared a look with Kendall, silently agreeing.

“Baby, I know you’re not gonna-“

“No! I’m not going to the hospital, I’m fine, just sore.”

“We just need to make sure you didn’t break anything. Sweetheart, your back is so bruised. How did you even fall on your back like that?”

“I-I just wanted to take a bath,” he whimpered, “I didn’t even get to turn the water on before I slipped on the bath mat and fell against the tub.”

Gia’s face paled. “You fell against the bathtub? Fuck, you could have-“

“I know, I’m sorry!”

“No, no, no, I’m not mad, we’re not mad,” Gia said, gesturing to Kendall, “it’s just scary. We don’t want anything to happen to you.”

“Which is why we think it’s a good idea to go get checked out, baby. Make sure your bones are all okay, yeah?”

“Okay,” Synthia relented, shame eating away at him.

“Good decision. Gi, will you get me his wheelchair? It’s folded in the hall closet. It’s probably best I don’t carry him all the way to the car.”

Gia hurried from the room, leaving Synthia and Kendall alone where he continued carding his fingers through Synthia’s soft hair. “We’ll take care of you, okay?”

He nodded. “I know.”

#I keep seeing this ad on Hulu for sickle cell disease and I think I unknowingly gave Synthia that #all the random symptoms I gave him line up perfectly with that tbh #except it’s usually diagnosed at birth and symptoms start early on and I wrote this to be sort of sudden 🤷‍♀️ #idk <3 #sick verse #prompt request

[supreme-lxadxr]

~The Fallen~

Chapter 7

(A/N-- OOOH THIS ONES LONG- stick with it though! you've made it so far!)

CHAPTER 7

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Before anyone knew it- the morning announcement was sounding throughout the small community- sound waves piercing every inch of the thick, hot air outside.

Airin hadn’t gotten much sleep the night before- tossing and turning on every side- her eyes glued to the couch next to her.

It was empty- empty of her closest friend- the one she’d kept closer than her friend.

She knew it could always be worse- he could be dead, but in a place like this, you never know what could happen next.

And in the back of her mind, she could swear she heard distant yelling- coming from the area towards the back right corner, that held a large building used for physical training known as the Sports Center.

“Good morning residents! There’s not much to go into today, it’s all in the Auditorium! Make your way over there right now- prepare to be surprised!” Chief 2’s voice rang out, suddenly stopping and cutting out.

Airin groaned, running her hands through her messy hair. Her body was tired from running all that way, and her voice was significantly quieter than usual- due to Tina attempting to choke her out last night.

She slowly rose up, changing her clothes and slipping on her shoes.

An odd feeling was arising in her stomach- she’d been doing this with Dominance for so long that it started to feel lonely to do this all by herself.

As usual, Kiyotaka was leading the line to the Auditorium, ranting about something someone ended up doing- an unknown fault that seemed to disagree with his moral compass.

They all made their way into the Auditorium, a significantly smaller number of residents than last time.

With Isana, Kaz, Hailey, Hira, Ameena, and Dominance gone, everything seemed to move slower. There was no one next to Airin to tell her to bow even if she didn’t want to- no one to hype her up anymore. It really started to wear on her brain, after even a moment of thought about it.

Airin’s eyes glanced around the room, finally deciding to tune into what Kiyotaka had to say- being that he’d ran up to her and started shouting something.

“Airin! You wouldn’t have seen Ed or Kendall on the way here, did you? It’s unsuitable to be late to something like this! There’s most likely new announcements- which needs to be respected by all in attendance!” Kiyotaka adjusted his glasses in one sharp movement, a serious look lacing his features.

It took a moment for Airin to process the quick words he was shouting in fast succession to one another, causing her to stare blankly at him for a few seconds.

“No...I haven’t. I’d check the Cottages or the Washroom...you know Ed, so who knows at this point…” Airin sighed, closing her eyes.

“I agree with you- it’s honestly unsuitable the way he conducts himself! I’m giving him a stern talking-to as his fellow resident when I find him! All residents should be in harmony with one another, and try to build a good name for themselves! He’s doing the complete opposite- it’s...it’s...unwholesome!” Kiyotaka raised his voice, his eyes slightly widening with passion.

“Okay, whatever will get you off this tangent I’ll be fine with...” Airin sighed and turned away from him, still tired from the night before.

“I’m worried about it...the street lights are off. Everyone knows what that means…” Trina bowed her head.

Emerald jumped in between them, a hyper burst of energy sending her running and twitching quickly to the 3 of them.

“Don’t worry fam!! I’ll find Kendall for you guys, I won’t let anything happen to her! Did I mention we’re best friends? We’re totally besties, man! She’s so great, she listens to music with me and borrows my dresses! I’ll find her for ya, don’t you worry! Emerald’s on the case!” Emerald hopped from foot to foot, a hyper and energetic tone bursting in her voice.

Suddenly, the TV powered on, and everyone quickly made their way over to their designated squares.

“As you all know, we’ve been working on a very special motive for all you guys- and today is the super-despair-inducing-day-we-introduce-it!!” Chief 2 excitedly stated, making everyone uncomfortably shift.

“This motive all lies in that forbidden building called the House Of Memories! In that building holds all of your deepest secrets- including the victims and murderers! So if you don’t want your deepest, darkest, skeletons in your closet to rear their ugly heads, I’d suggest gettin’ to the killing! Today, all residents have a task to complete- finishing up the construction that was cut short yesterday! So get to it! Announcements...over!”

Everyone in attendance bowed, a sinking feeling arising in even the hardest of hearts. Everyone acted as if the words starting from Chief 2 physically slapped them, a terrifying yet nostalgic feeling arising.

They started out the door, softly chatting amongst themselves. Airin’s eyes couldn’t be taken off of the Nurse’s Office no matter how hard she tried, holding herself tightly as if she didn’t trust that she wouldn’t lose control of her body and just walk in. Hundreds of thousands of sharp-edged thoughts stabbing themselves into her brain caused fear to shake her heart- although hardened by cynical notions and haunted by the sight of yesterday.

They all made their way over to the construction site- the ghosts of the past haunting the minds of all in attendance. The spot of concrete had small crimson streaks lining it, waiting to be stepped over in remembrance of every bad thing.

Airin found herself deep in thought again- wondering, contemplating- analyzing deeply.

She found herself shifting uncomfortably at the thought of everyone’s reactions- no one- not even Lane, Vinnie, Mae or Kai- had allowed themselves to grieve over Hailey’s death yet. Everyone was so emotionless and numb, she found herself wondering if it really had happened the way she remembered it.

Without a second thought, Airin ascended a ladder, kneeling on top of a beam- one over from the beam that took Hailey’s life yesterday. She crawled over to it, the feeling of splintered wood on her bare legs making her shift uncomfortably. She made a point to hammer in the loose beam that had been replaced there precariously- still stained with harsh crimson streaks and puddles. It was dried by now- but it was still a harsh memory, forever etched into the heavy piece of wood.

Monica was assigning roles to every resident there, but Airin chose to ignore her for now. She was more worried about fixing this beam than anything else, and wanted nothing more than to just save one more of these resident’s lives.

She wouldn’t admit it out loud, but deep in the darkest, deepest reaches of her most isolated thoughts- she cared about all of them. She wanted nothing more than to see them all leave this horrible place- to grow as people, have families, lives, and full lifespans.

But there was always the ugly truth nagging in the back of her brain- it wasn’t true, and no matter how pretty the lies are, they’re still lies, and everyone is truly, hopelessly, stuck here.

And she already established in her mind what she needed to do to survive- never show any of her emotions.

And with that, she decided to keep all of those promising, false hopes to herself.

Airin was in her own mind, silence overcoming her ears, until she was suddenly snapped out of it, by hearing Lane’s voice overpower all the others.

“Hey- does anyone else smell somethin’ kinda weird? Or is that just me?”

Airin’s head shot up, her mind suddenly turning to the worst.

“H-hey! It’s not my fault, I didn’t get to the washroom in time last night!” Vinnie had a shocked look on her face, holding herself in embarrassment.

“N-Neither did I-I...aw- I-I’m sorry!” Mae’s eyes suddenly filled with tears as she stumbled over a ladder, falling into the middle of the concrete.

“It’s really no problem...I’m sure half the people didn’t anyway. We kinda had a skeleton crew in there anyway, we’ll still have time tonight I think!” Alana’s face broke out into an awkward smile, looking at Mae sprawled out on the floor.

“Ugh, yeah...it probably is you! You look like a gross, fat, pig, and you smell like one too! Go take a shower, you disgusting, toilet clogging piece of trash!” Jess turned her nose up at Mae, folding her arms. Alana rolled her eyes, grabbing onto her small friend’s wrist and pulling her away.

“Jeez...Jess, do you think anymore? You’re getting like some of those guys…” Alana rolled her eyes again, walking away.

“It is unsuitable to talk about other residents in this way! It’s no one’s fault that there was a shortage of residents taking a shower yesterday or any day! But I do advise keeping up with that schedule when is possible!” Kiyotaka threw his hands in front of him, as if to defend the words he was saying.

Suddenly, a familiar figure appeared on the grounds- one that shocked everyone to silence.

“I-I’m so sorry I’m late! I couldn’t find Ed anywhere, and I couldn’t leave without him…” Kendall raised her voice slightly, a scratchy undertone lacing her words.

Emerald ran to her, picking her friend up by the side.

“KJ!! See- I knew the ultimate detective in me could find her!! What happened to your voice, dude?!” Emerald yelled, hugging her friend tightly. Kendall shifted uncomfortably at the sudden movements and loud noises, gently smiling at her friend as she tried to wiggle free.

“Y-yeah...I’m fine...last night was rough. I was trying to go out onto the roof to see the sky but I ended up falling off...I’m really okay though! Don’t worry about me…” Kendall laughed nervously, swaying as she stood still. Her blonde hair was tangled and messy, and her body was littered with bruises. The sight of the darkening bruises and blood were enough to make Emerald stare with her mouth agape for a few seconds- trying to take in everything she was seeing.

The mangled, bruised mess that was Emerald’s- and many others- friend stood before them, her eyes dark and void of emotion. Yet ever so slightly, a whisper of pain was exploding behind her blue, dead eyes. Emerald shakes under the powerful pain her scars are carrying- lacing her entire frame, all up and down her arms, legs, chest, face and neck.

Airin felt a shiver run down her spine- despite the hot weather that’d been beating down on her back for what felt like hours now.

She didn’t fall off that roof.

Lynn ran to Kendall, taking the smaller girl into her grip- a motherly, concerned grip.

“Oh my- we have to get this taken care of...what happened to you? Have you lost any blood?” Lynn fired questions at the small girl, who flinched at Lynn’s gentle touch.

“N-No… I haven’t. And I fell off my roof, that’s it.” Kendall’s eyes suddenly held a form of aggression- not specifically aimed at anyone, but Lynn could feel a slight pain inside her- she felt as if she needed to take care of Kendall, who had been pushing her away.

Mia suddenly stomped over to them, grabbing Kendall hard by her shoulders.

“I swear...if that dirtbag hurt you, I’mma kill him! You don’t deserve him, girl! You deserve better!” Mia was passionately yelling, her eyes wide. Kendall backed up slightly away from her, surprised by the sudden reaction.

“H-Huh? N-no...it’s not like that! I told you what happened!” Kendall puffed out her cheeks in annoyance towards Mia.

Elle watched them from above, sitting cross-legged on top of a precariously hung beam. The emotionless glaze fell over her eyes again, and she had a dead expression lacing her features.

Meanwhile, Lane continued to walk around, attempting to find the source of the smell she’d been bothered with. It didn’t smell like food- she knew that smell the second it hit her.

It smelled metallic, like rust, metal, iron, or…

Blood. It smelled like blood.

Lane’s eyes widened at the sudden realization, which left her blindly running back to the others.

“Guys- I figured out what I’ve been smellin’! It’s blood! Somebody’s hurt or dead somewhere!” Lane had panic lacing her voice, which caught the attention of the others quickly.

“B-Blood?! There’s no way...everyone’s been here! This...This is so unwholesome!!” Kiyotaka suddenly had panic and anxiety lacing his features, already running after Lane- who had started towards the Sports Center.

Airin jumped down from the beam, hot pain shooting through both of her ankles as they hit the concrete. She pushed through the crowd, running as fast as her legs could possibly take her.

They all made it to the Sports Center, Lane making loud claims that she smelled it the most around this particular area. Every remaining resident ignored the sinking gut feeling they’d had for awhile now- only to get stronger- an unmerciful turn of feelings waving over everyone there.

“Hold on- I’ll check to see if it’s safe first...I don’t want anyone getting hurt, just in case it’s set up with some sort of trap, or something like that.” Monica pushed her way to the front of the surrounding crowd, breathing deeply as she reached for the heavy door. There were already dried crimson stains around the handle of the door, mocking the eyes of every onlooker.

“Someone must’ve been trying to escape...who don’t we have here?” Monica turned around, procrastinating the idea of opening the door.

“Who we don’t have here is who we’re not gonna have here ever again if you don’t woman up and open that door!” Jess screamed, sending the pitch of her voice sky-high. “If you don’t do it, I’mma bop you on the head, you idiot!” She smirked, giggling to herself. Monica sighed, turning around to face the large door in front of her.

It’s probably nothing...Even if it is, I’ll never know anyway if I don’t just try. It’s what they need from me...I have to. I don’t have a choice, even if it’s uncomfortable.

Monica reassured herself silently, the silence of the crowd making her stomach churn as hard as it could.

All in one quick motion, she reached for the door, swinging it open. Lane wasn’t wrong- an overwhelming smell hit her as soon as she stepped inside. Her sense of smell might not have been as tuned as Lane’s, but she definitely noticed the change in the thick air.

It smelled like rust, iron, blood, something decaying almost.

Almost reminiscent of…

Another body.

Airin stepped past Monica, the disgusting, horrific scene unfolding in front of her dark eyes- reminiscent of deep voids, holding pain and despair- all fragments of hope had been gone, once again. All over again the scene played out in front of all of their eyes, shocking colors and gruesome imagery.

There in front of them, laid the body of the once-resident, none other than Ed- the one who they’d just lost- just been discussing.

There lay a metal bat next to him, the floor stained with dripping, drying, crimson regrets.

Kendall walked into the room, standing in pure shock and horror for singular moments- moments that could’ve passed as hundreds of thousands of years.

“N-No...it can’t be…! How did this...how…” Kendall stuttered, tears forming in her eyes. The waves of emotions were too strong for her to handle- shock, self-loathing, guilt, and despair all laced her features, rearing their heads as she began crying, shaking from the sheer force of her own emotions.

Emerald ran to her friend, catching sight of the body- letting out a high-pitched, painful shriek at the gruesome sight.

“Come on, you guys need to leave- we need to report this right now…” Monica’s voice was laced with shame, desperation clinging to every empty word she spoke.

Suddenly, the TV turned on, making a loud zapping sound.

Chief 2’s masked face appeared on the screen- their eyes lit up with a spark of hope- or possibly a sick spark of joy.

“As you can plainly see, a murder has happened! This death was not of natural causes- someone murdered Ed in cold blood! After exactly 24 hours has passed, another Trial will begin! His time of death was approximately 2:38 AM, but since I’m feeling generous, I’ll push it back to 2:38 PM! Now get to investigating!”

Their sickly optimistic, scratchy voice forced harsh shivers up Airin’s spine. She held herself tightly, a sick feeling in her stomach making her chest burn.

“Hold on- the murderer is among us! They could still be looking for another victim!! Everyone come inside the building, just in case!” Kiyotaka ran inside, tripping over his own quick feet. He inspected the body, kneeling next to it for a few seconds.

“I see...I assert that the metal bat next to his body is what was used to murder him! It makes sense in this situation, does it not?” Kiyotaka tilted his head to get a better look at the silver bat next to the still frame of their former resident. It was splashed up the side with crimson splatters, and it looked to be thrown on the ground.

“Who would’ve had a motive to do this...before the motive came out? It doesn’t make any sense to me...” Trina turned her head hard to the left, folding her arms over her chest.

“I don’t even believe this happened. I knew it was a matter of time before the next murder...but not like this…” Airin began, being spoken over by Tina.

“I k-knew it...I-I’m n-next...aren’t I? I w-won’t let t-them hurt u-us again…” Tina held herself tightly, biting her lip as hard as she could.

“That’s aside the point. What the point actually is who committed this murder this time.” Airin’s eyes grew cold as she looked at the slightly smaller girl.

Mae quickly ran to Ed’s empty, mangled frame, moving his blonde hair out of the way to inspect the newfound injuries to his body.

“W-Well the good part i-is that h-he didn’t appear t-to s-suffer…” Mae stuttered, folding her hands together.

“What’s that supposed to mean? Obviously he suffered, he’s on the ground...you know, dead?” Alana placed her hands on her hips.

“I-I’m sorry! I m-mean...he d-died instantly. T-There was n-no ‘last m-moments’...he j-just collapsed.” Mae started, inspecting his body further.

“Ah...well at least he didn’t suffer, I guess. But does it really matter? He’s still dead, and it was going to happen in the long run anyway…” Trina closed her eyes, running a hand through her dark red hair.

“No, nothing matters anymore, does it?” Elle tilted her head, having been standing silently for what felt like hours, staring at the damage left behind. “Humans really are capable of anything, aren’t they? It’s almost an art...an art of passion, and self-preservation.”

“An...an art? Are you kiddin’ me right now? A body’s in front of ya and all ya have to say is it’s an ‘art?’” Mia turned to face her, folding her arms.

“Ah...you just don’t have the eyes to see it as I see it. Or how the Chiefs see it, rather. Do you agree?” Elle smiled, closing her cold, dead eyes.

“I dunno how to respond to that… it’s all a bunch of crap to me anyway.” Mia’s eyes narrowed, and Elle turned her back. “All you’re tryin’ to do is prove me wrong, and it honestly ain’t gonna happen!”

“This is the type of thinking that will lead us all down deadly roads...but it seems residents welcome the beautiful lies, rather than the truth, that can be perceived to be quite horrible.” Elle turned back around, but Mia didn’t appear to be listening to her anymore.

“It’s really horrible...I said I’d never let another killing happen, but it just did! This place...it’s so unpredictable...I really hate it here…!” Bernadette stuttered on her words, shocked by the sight in front of her. She started inspecting the rest of the room, her eyes falling onto a door near the back.

Before she could say anything to the others, she started to walk towards it, Monica closely following behind her.

“Be careful...we all know what happened last time. I’m not saying we’ll find someone in here, but you never really know I guess…” Monica pushed in front of Bernadette, grabbing the door handle- and without hesitation, swinging it open with all of her force.

They both prepared themselves for the worst, cold, dark fears creeping up into Monica’s heart. Sharp, rough-edged thoughts carved into her brain as she closed her eyes, preparing herself.

But when she opened them, she saw nothing.

“Huh...isn’t there supposed to be, you know...stuff in here?” Bernadette began, gathering her thoughts, as Kendall and Emerald appeared behind them.

“Wowie! An empty room! I could totally dance or something in here!” Emerald pushed in between the two, shutting herself inside the closet. “Heya! Can you guys hear me? This place has great acoustics! Yahoo!!” She made a loud, high-pitched sound, jumping up and down at the sound of each echo.

“Maybe y-you shouldn’t do that...there’s probably stuff in there you shouldn’t be touching…” Kendall wrenched open the door, her features laced with concern for her friend. She had a glint of aggression digging deep into her eyes, narrowing them at the very sight of the door in front of her.

Kendall grabbed onto Emerald’s wrists, leading her out of the small, empty closet. She stopped right in front of it, breathing slowly.

“It’s really weird just how empty it is in there...isn’t there usually, like...equipment for sports and stuff in there?” Kendall turned her head back around to look into the dark space. “It did look like there used to be stuff in there, though...there’s so many scratches on the floor.” She bowed her head slightly, bending over quickly to analyze the marks.

There were deep, white scratches all over the floor- similar to the evidence found in the Washroom.

“Oh yeah, that’s like, totally dark, you know? It’s- ooh, it’s like the murderer came and stole everything to hide the evidence, man! That’s super spooky, I’m gonna start panicking so much I can’t even talk anymore!” Emerald bounced around, exaggerated expressions overtaking her features. Kendall looked disturbed, looking past her hyper friend into the dark room.

“Hold on, there’s something in here that shouldn’t be...let me in here alone.” Monica watched where her feet fell strategically, occasionally looking above her.

“There’s a trip-wire here. Whoever the killer is… they must have resorted to using the bat after this method didn’t work for them...but where’s the rest of the equipment?” Monica questioned out loud, starting to nervously sweat.

“A-A trip-wire? Hold on...where?” Bernadette began, stepping into the room. Sure enough- she tripped the small, invisible wire, sending a dumbbell directly above the door crashing to the ground- crashing hard enough to leave a crack in the hardwood floor. It had been suspended by a thicker cord- nailed into the ceiling and tied to the tripwire.

Bernadette let out a high-pitched scream as the force from the dumbbell threw her forward- thankfully now backwards, into where it landed.

“That...that shouldn’t have happened like that! How’d they do that?” Bernadette’s voice trembled with nervousness- as did her body. Monica pushed past her, inspecting the fallen dumbbell.

“It looks like it weighs 15 pounds...that was definitely set up to kill someone. I’m guessing when that method didn’t work, they resorted to using the bat...or maybe this door was locked. Would anyone know where the key is?” Monica rose to her feet, running her slender fingers through her tight, curly locks. “I know every other room here is locked up- I’ve never seen the keys anywhere. It doesn’t make sense how someone could just get that...I don’t get it.”

“Someone probably has the keys...or maybe they’re hidden somewhere, like they were last time? Weren’t they backstage or something?” Kendall perked up, her eyes widening in thought.

“I don’t know who would have them- and yes, they were! You know what…” Monica stopped for a moment, stepping over the fallen dumbbell. “Follow me, I know where some things might’ve gone.”

She made her way towards the back of the room, ascending a tight, hidden staircase. Bernadette, Kendall, and Emerald followed, slightly uncomfortable at the tight space.

Monica turned towards a small door at the top of the staircase, a note being hung from the doorknob. She picked it up, confusion lacing her dark-colored eyes.

I finally found it...I never thought I’d be able to come up here, but here I am.

I won’t let anything else happen, when I can find them.

-B.T.

Monica read it out loud, an indescribable feeling arising into her mind.

“Who wrote this...and how do they have two names?” Kendall stood on her tiptoes, trying to read the small piece of paper.

“I don’t know...who has more than one name here? Anyone’s name start with a B or a T?”

“Well...my name starts with a B, but I definitely didn’t write that! Was it someone...impersonating me?” Bernadette’s eyes were filled with confusion.

“No, I don’t know why anyone would do that. Trina’s name starts with a T...but there’s no B…” Monica trailed off, holding the paper closer to her face.

“Ooh, ooh! I have one- Tina’s name starts with a T!! Their names are so similar...it’s kind of confusing, you know?” Emerald jumped up, nearly falling backwards down the stairs. “There’s so many residents...there’s me, Kendall, Dominance, Kaz, Airin, Monica, Isana, Elle, Lynn, Mia, Kiyotaka...it would be so confusing if they wrote ‘K’, there’s so many K’s here! Guess we’re just A-OK then!”

“Wow, I never really noticed that! But there’s only one ‘B’, and that’s me...which isn’t very helpful at all! Unless someone’s trying to frame me, but who would do that? I...I can’t accept it!” Bernadette threw her hands up in front of her, as if to defend herself.

“It really doesn’t make any sense. Maybe it was planted there by Elle to confuse us?” Kendall questioned, folding her arms.

“While it’s interesting, it’s all aside the point, this is about Ed, whose name doesn’t start with a B or a T...now I’m gonna try and open this door.” Monica appeared annoyed, handing the note to Bernadette. Monica tried to wrench open the door- all to no avail. It didn’t appear to want to budge, no matter how hard she tried.

“Maybe it’s blocked by something? Here, let me try!” Bernadette approached the door, pulling and pushing it as hard as she could- all to no avail. It still didn’t want to move.

“This really makes no sense...why would this be blocked? There’s nowhere to even turn a key, so it’s not locked.” Monica still appeared annoyed, her frustration growing. “There’s probably evidence in there, and the killer was probably smart enough to hide it in there somehow.”

Meanwhile Airin was still trying to help around the site of the body, hardly finding any evidence at all. The only thing found was the fact that he was hit over the head with a metal bat, and he appeared to have some scars, as if he’d gotten into a physical altercation with his killer. His shirt was ripped, and both of his shoes were missing.

Contrary to the other bodies, he didn’t appear to have any sort of puncture wound on his body.

Airin had noticed the commotion coming from the upstairs, and began her way over to the staircase.

“What’s going on over here? I didn’t even know this existed…” Airin called out, ascending the stairs. Emerald, Kendall, and Bernadette allowed her to pass by them, and she stood next to Monica.

“Ah...Airin, we can’t open this door, and there’s no lock on it, so it must be blocked, but you can try to open it if you’d like- maybe you’re stronger than me or Bernadette.” Monica stepped aside, and Airin yanked on the handle. It still didn’t move- push or pull.

“It’s a door you push, you can’t pull it. But I can’t push it either. It must be locked from the inside, or blocked by something…” Airin stated the obvious, turning her back to the door.

“Maybe there’s a window outside or something? We probably won’t be able to get in, but you should try…” Bernadette ran a hand through her hair, awkwardly laughing.

“Ah, I never thought of that! Whoa, that’s some detective-level stuff! Great job, ultimate-detective-number-two!” Emerald jumped up and down, running down the stairs.

The group made their way outside, silently stepping over the dry ground- cutting through the hot, thick air. Airin shifted uncomfortably, unable to tell if she was nervous, or if the hot temperatures was the thing making her sweat so much. She stopped outside of the back wall, her eyes scanning over a high window. It was open, the window pane stained with dirt.

“Someone was in there...but who would want to climb that high- who’s that tall?” Airin shielded her eyes from the hot Sun, standing on her tiptoes.

“Ooh, maybe someone in high-heels on their tiptoes! That would be so cool!” Emerald piped up, being shut down by Kendall.

“Yeah, it would be, but isn’t that impossible anyway? We only have flats to wear, so no…” Kendall folded her arms, laughing nervously.

“I’ll go get somebody super-duper tall for ya! Don’t worry, Emerald’s on this!” Emerald ran towards the door, Kendall close behind, leaving Airin, Bernadette and Monica alone.

“So...uh- does anyone know when we’re gonna see the people in the Nurse’s Office again?” Bernadette spoke up, folding her arms over her chest.

The only time Airin had to not think about it was cut short- again. She wasn’t sure why she cared so much- she was independent, and she thought she didn’t need anyone. She knew she didn’t need anyone else. She could stand on her own just fine.

Which was true, she could stand on her own just fine.

But after doing it for so long- did she really want to anymore?

She was snapped out of her thoughts by Monica responding, hints of confusion in her tone.

“I-I...I don’t know, I wish I did...I honestly forgot about it for a short time there…” Monica placed her hands on her hips, looking to the sky with her eyes. “Is there a specific person you’re worried about?”

Bernadette’s eyes widened, and she turned away from Monica.

“Well, uh...I don’t know what happened to Isana, but there was so much blood all over the ground and her shoes...she’s my best friend, I just wanted to make sure she didn’t die or something…” Bernadette’s face flushed out of nervousness, and Monica nodded her head in agreement.

“Yeah...I don’t know what happened to her either...I hope they’re all okay. I’m still confused about why Kaz acted the way he did, and why he suddenly passed out like that…How about you, Airin?” Monica turned towards Airin, who’d been silently listening to their conversation. She was snapped out of her thoughtless listening, and her eyes widened.

“Oh...it’s not that important, but I’ve been thinking about Dominance a lot lately...I tried to tell him to not overwork himself, but that’s exactly what he did...so technically, anything that happened to him was my fault.” Airin closed her eyes, turning away. “So you’re free to blame me, and I wouldn’t blame him if he never spoke to me again after this whole thing. I’m not sure why I’m wasting my time anyway.”

Monica and Bernadette exchanged a glance for a second, before Monica spoke up.

“The only thing you’re wasting your time on is worrying about it so much...even if it feels like there’s something you could’ve done about it, in the long run, there’s really not.”

Airin turned back around, narrowing her eyes.

“Was that supposed to be...inspirational?” She questioned, tears threatening to spring to her eyes.

“I wasn’t done- let me finish and then tell me.” Monica began, an assertive tone in her voice. “You’re wasting your time worrying about it, because I’ve never seen a better duo than you two… there’s no way he’d abandon you over that. And if something happened to him...it was because of the shock of not eating or drinking, then witnessing someone die...I don’t think it would’ve mattered what you did or told him. The best part is that you did…” Monica stopped for a second, breathing slowly. “And you still tried to help him, no matter what. And even if something did happen, which I’m almost sure it won’t, that’s okay, since you truly did do everything to help him- and you built an amazing relationship.” Monica stopped, leaving a moment of silence hanging in the air.

Airin’s eyes widened- her emotions trapped tightly in her throat.

“I...I don’t know what to say...thank you…?” Airin pulled at a strand of her hair, embarrassed by her lack of knowledge in a social situation like this.

Monica’s gaze softened, and she folded her arms.

“You’re welcome, it’s the least I could do- being that we’re in almost the same situation and all.” Monica closed her eyes, deep in thought.

Before Airin could form an answer, Emerald’s voice rang out from behind them.

“Heya!! We found some super-ultra-crazy-tall-people!!” She was dragging Elle behind her by the wrist, who was trying to pull back. Kendall was walking alongside Lynn, leading her to Airin, Bernadette and Monica.

Monica’s eyes narrowed at the sight of Elle, silently stepping aside, in case she got any ideas.

“And enlighten me as to what was going through your mind when you brought Elle with you?” Airin shot out what everyone else- all except Emerald- were thinking.

“Nothing at all! She’s super-crazy-tall, that’s what, man! And Lynn said she’d control her, cuz she knew how to!” Emerald raised her voice excitedly, and Elle’s eyes widened. She lost the emotion in her eyes as quickly as it came, folding her arms over her chest.

“She is telling the truth...although I am not sure how to be a help to this situation- nor do I want to…” Lynn grabbed Elle’s wrist as she turned around, ready to walk away.

“Go right ahead, I’d like to see you walk away now. You’re helping them, whether you want to or not...sometimes you have to do things you don’t want to do…” Lynn pulled Elle towards her, not allowing her to leave the situation.

“I’m not supportive of helping potential murderers...but it’s bold of you to trust someone like me. Being that I could’ve done it, as well as any of you could have. Am I wrong?” Elle spoke up, and Lynn’s gaze grew angry.

“Stop joking like that...we all know you were not the culprit…” Lynn answered, covering her mouth with her hand.

“Huh...that’s an interesting proposition. But you don’t know that I’m joking, just as you don’t know we’re all pawns in a game.” Elle smiled, walking towards the wall. She wasn’t tall enough to reach it, but she very well could’ve jumped for it.

“The fact you’re not that far off from the window makes me suspicious, but I guess anyone could jump for that. I don’t know why one of us can’t just try it anyway.” Airin folded her arms over her chest in annoyance. Elle stood on her tiptoes, reaching for the window pane. She could just barely touch it, causing Lynn to wonder. She walked up behind Elle, and stood on her tiptoes. She could place her hand on the window pane, being that she was a few inches taller than Elle.

Lynn grabbed onto the windowpane with both hands, attempting to shift her weight into the open window.

“Please don’t ever try this- you could end up really hurting yourselves, just take my word for it!” Her voice was strained as she struggled, nearly losing her balance. Elle reached up, pushing Lynn into the open window as hard as she could. Her eyes widened as Lynn fell through, causing her to try and see into the high window.

“That’s not what I intended to do...it’s you of course, I would’ve intended to do it to anyone else, if you want honest words from me…” Elle smiled to herself, concern silently lacing her eyes.

Lynn stood up, not falling very far from the window. She looked down at the others, everyone wearing a concerned expression.

“I’m okay, don’t worry about me… This place is really packed tightly with equipment though…” Lynn began, barely being able to turn herself around.

Airin glanced behind her, noticing a medium-sized rock on the ground.

“Hold on...maybe the culprit wasn’t tall after all. Could they have used this to vault themselves into the window?” Airin questioned, kicking at the dusty rock.

“Only you would know, of course...why don’t you try it again?” Elle smiled condescendingly, tilting her head. Airin turned her back, completely ignoring the nonsensical words hanging in the air.

She pushed through the thickening atmosphere, digging both of her feet into the dusty ground. Everything started to feel like a challenge, the rock in front of her suddenly became an obstacle to overcome- all for a greater reason. She’d found herself snapping into this mindset multiple times, her thoughts becoming sharp and pointedly focused.

She ran with a start, positioning one foot quickly onto the top of the rock- dust kicking up into her face. All in one quick movement- twisting, turning, and rushing air followed- she propelled herself off of the rock, aiming for the window pane.

Thoughts in quick succession to one another flashed through her head as she opened her eyes, squinting against the heavy dust and bright Sun.

Before she knew it, she was all-too familiar with the window- hitting into the window pane with all of her force. She could feel the air leaving her body, waiting patiently for someone to laugh at her.

But no one ever did.

She hit the ground with as much force as she’d hit the window with, landing hard into the ground with a loud crash.

She could feel the air leaving her body with as much force as she could handle, the world fading to black around her.

When Airin opened her eyes, she was surrounded by Kendall, Lynn, Monica, Bernadette, Elle, and Emerald.

“Whoa! She’s dead! I’m standing over a dead person! Kendall!!” Emerald grabbed onto her friend, shaking her violently.

“H-Hey, what do you think you’re doing? Get off!” Kendall pushed her off, shocked by the sudden contact.

“She is not dead...trust me...I'd know more than anyone here, of course." Elle breathed slowly, bending to Airin’s level. Her eyes held a spark of fear and nostalgia- dark hopes and memories.

Airin felt a burning sensation in her chest- every ounce of air being forced out of her lungs. She gasped, blood making its way from the corner of her mouth.

“I-I’m okay...I j-just hit m-my fa-face on th-the window pane...I ju-just need a moment…” Airin choked on her words, stuttering breaths escaping her lungs as she opened her eyes against the blinding Sun.

“B-But there’s blood! So much! This doesn’t look okay...I should go get Mae or someone...right?” Bernadette sounded awkward and scared, her eyes wide.

Airin sat up, trickles of blood escaping from her mouth. She wiped them quickly, trying to make her way back onto her feet.

“It’s no-nothing I ha-haven’t seen before...it’s okay. B-But...did anyone e-else hear a sound just l-like the one I ma-made when I fell?” Airin caught her breath, a painful feeling shooting through her body.

“Well just now I did, obviously, it just happened in front of us!” Kendall folded her arms, half-joking.

“That’s not what she meant...she meant before...like maybe last night? And yes, I did...but wouldn’t that have been Kendall falling off the roof?” Monica questioned, placing her hands on her hips.

“Y-Yeah...it probably was that...I didn’t fall as hard as Airin, though. I just got the wind knocked out of me, like she did...but not as hard…” Kendall trailed off, inspecting Airin’s fragile, scarred frame as it sat on the ground. Airin didn’t feel any better than she had when she first hit the ground- air was hard to get in, like her chest was tight around her. She laid her head on her knees, hugging them to her chest- in some attempt to numb the tingling pain in her ribs.

Lynn stared down from above- already making an attempt to jump from the window to help.

Elle walked to the window, gently pushing her back in.

“That’s not going to be necessary… Monica seems to be able to control this situation- although I still am hesitant to put my trust in her…” Elle trailed off, starting to scale the wall with the help of the window pane, in an attempt to climb into the window.

Lynn lifted her up into the window, hoping that she wouldn’t fall and meet the same outcome Airin had.

“Me and Elle are going to search for some clues up in here, if you don’t mind...it’s so packed full of equipment, we might not be able to fit anyone else.” Lynn started, and was promptly cut off by Monica.

“It’s not that I don’t trust you guys...but I don’t think it’s a good idea. I’ll be coming too- and I’ll be bringing the note.” Monica held her hand out to Bernadette- in a signal to hand over the note. As soon as she did, Monica made an attempt to climb the window.

Elle grabbed onto Lynn’s hand tightly, her eyes scanning the place. She appeared slightly unsettled, but stayed silent about whatever the mysterious, disturbing thing was.

“We really should start looking around here...but be careful, since this place might be set up with more traps, if the killer is smart.” Lynn instructed, pulling Elle behind her.

“Every killer is smart. In a place like this, they must match the art of self-preservation with the art of passion and bloodlust...or perhaps it’s a pure accident. The mystery makes it more enjoyable, you know.” Elle smiled, closing her eyes. Lynn ignored her ominous words, fighting her way through the endless amounts of sports equipment- things no one had even seen before.

There were multiple pieces of different sets of things- hung all around the room like misplaced chandeliers. Something about it felt out of place- being that all of this either used to be somewhere else, no one knew it existed- or the possibility that it helped in a murder.

“I don’t see any traces of blood anywhere...or any signs anyone was here, other than the equipment all being in here now.” Lynn started, glancing her eyes around the room.

Monica eventually was able to vault into the window, nearly losing her balance and falling towards the uneven wooden floor.

“Why do you think-” She cut herself off, straining to stand up after she’d fallen. “Why do you think someone did that? Who do you think is strong enough?” Monica stood straight, grasping the note tightly in her hand. “Possibly- whoever this B.T. is- is strong enough.”

“B.T? Is this an accomplice?” Lynn questioned, confused towards the new name.

“No, it was on this note. I don’t know who it is- no one does. Maybe it’s a trap…” Monica trailed off, reading the note over and over again.

“It’s probably your other personality...no one has any evidence you didn’t write that note. It’s very plausible that you wrote it in the victim’s very blood…” Elle began, staring intently at the floor.

“Yeah yeah, talk your mouth off. I never did that, and you said yourself you have no evidence against me…” Monica folded her arms, walking the other way.

They walked around the tightly cramped room for what seemed like hours- finding nothing. The only thing they found was a broken camera, which they guessed to be broken off of the wall using the bat. There were some dirty footprints running out towards the door- but they appeared to be of bare feet, so it was impossible to match them to anyone, although they did try.

Before anyone knew it, it was night, and the 10PM announcement rang out over the speakers.

Everyone knew the rules- no one could eat until the investigation and trial was over- which led to more nights of not eating, and minimally drinking.

Airin was beginning to feel better- the pain had hardly gone away, but she’d started to do better at ignoring it. She’d started to help around the site of the body again- which by now had been sitting there in hot temperatures for so long, it was getting hard to work with.

Hardly any evidence was found around the site of the body either, only significant wounds, which showed signs of a struggle. But it hadn’t happened after he’d been hit with the bat- since his death was instant.

Hardly any suspects were on the line, since no one had a truly clear view of what was happening.

Meanwhile, in the Nurse’s Office, Dominance had begun to wake up, an empty feeling arising inside of him. There was a guard who acted as a nurse- one of the only female guards. She’d been gone for a long time, and every light was off in the building. He sat up, brushing his magenta, spiky hair out of his face. He ran his fingers over his skin- his mask had been removed. He’d only ever done it once in front of anyone- in the skit he performed with Airin. But the curtains were closing, and no one saw it anyway. It wasn’t as bad as everyone thought in his eyes- he’d lived, and he still had basic functions- being able to talk, hear, a limited sense of smell, and sight out of one of his eyes. The rest of his skin was scarred over with charred, burnt flesh, which still smelled of that fateful day-

The fire. All of the fire...the fire he couldn’t protect himself from.

And Airin- how she’d tried to stop it- but she couldn’t reach him in time. His memories were fuzzy, failing every thought he reached into the most isolated reaches of his mind to find. He found himself shaking, his head buried deep in his hands. He couldn’t believe his lack of memory- if it continued the way it was, he’d probably end up forgetting about Airin at some point.

He shook the thought away, opening his large, blue eyes. One of them was useless- he couldn’t see anything from it anymore, and it’s color could be described as being lighter- almost metallic in color.

When he opened up his eyes, he could only see faint silhouettes- everything was pitch-black.

A sinking feeling arose into his stomach, turning and twisting as every bit of his comfortability fell away.

“A body...a body was found…” He whispered, his voice harsh and raspy. He was connected to a machine to measure his heart, soft beeping sounds emitting from it every so often. He removed the light clamp from his finger, standing up as quickly as his weak body would allow. He ran his hands along the table next to his bed, hope arising that he could find his mask.

As soon as his hands touched it’s stiff fabric, he slipped it on, and made his way into the cold night.

He was only wearing a small nightgown-leaving no protection against the harsh wind. He held it close, running his hands over his scarred arms.

It was just as he feared- every street light was off, meaning someone- a fellow resident- had been found dead.

He stumbled over his own feet, his shaky legs ready to give out at any still moment left hanging.

Dominance found himself walking towards Airin’s cottage, who’d been laying in her bed for several minutes now.

He analyzed the options he had as he stood outside of her door- intently wondering if his actions could unsettle her- being that a murder had obviously occured.

Or his worst fear- that the murderer was a person closer to him than he’d ever thought.

His body appeared to move on it’s own- as he found himself knocking on her door, his fist hitting the wood softly, but loud enough to be audible.

Airin had been laying in silence for some time now, staring out of her small window towards the beach.

“That’s the one. If we never leave here, before I die...I wish something could happen on that beach. It doesn’t matter if I get married or not- I just want something good to happen there- one last time.”

Airin had been lost in thought, her eyes fixed on the white, moonlit sand as the wind tossed it around, littering the grass with tiny pieces of white and gold.

“There’s a spark of hope- even in a place like this. There’s always hope...it never truly leaves.”

Airin smiled at her thoughts, tossing onto her back.

That’s when she heard it- the knocking at her door. She rushed to put her uniform back on, being that it didn’t feel as constricting around her whenever she didn’t wear it to bed. Every time she looked down, she noticed darkening bruises and scars around the area where the windowpane had hit her.

She stood up quickly, still dizzy from the impact with the ground. Her mouth wasn’t bleeding anymore, but she had found an area where an especially sharp tooth of hers had slashed a cut on her bottom lip- being the culprit of the blood.

She took some quick steps to the door, silently staring at it for several seconds.

The knocking came again, which caused her to jump slightly.

Her eyes grew wide with anticipation; her heart pounding in her ears.

The knocking came for the third time, the mysterious figure resting their hand on the other side of the door gently, as if to give a nervous welcome.

Her voice was shaken, the nervousness mirroring her own as she opened the door, ever so slightly as to see a familiar figure on the other side.

“H-Huh...how d-did you…?” She stuttered on her words, forcing them out as hard as she could. She was shocked by the sight laying in front of her- Dominance, standing ever so tall on her doorstep. He nervously chuckled, giving her his signature thumbs-up.

Her thoughts conflicted with each other in the height of her confusion- so badly she wanted to invite him in, and say everything she’d never told him. She wanted it so badly- especially in the glimpse of the thought that the murderer was still out there somewhere.

But at the same time, she knew truly in her heart- that he probably couldn’t forgive her for that. He’d know too much and leave- or blame her entirely for the whole reason he’d been in such a state.

She began to close the door, barely noticing how the moonlight illuminated the fear in her eyes perfectly.

“You really need to leave...they probably don’t even know where you are right now.” Airin stated, her eyes growing cold.

Dominance widened his eyes, confusion taking over his hidden features.

“Air, they know just where I am! And they know where I’ll be, too! Why are you scared of me now, man?” He put a cheerful tone on, stepping towards the door. She stepped back, closing the door in front of her.

“It’s just that...it doesn’t matter. I don’t know why you still would even want to see me right now anyway. That whole thing...it wouldn’t have happened if it wasn’t for me. So if you don’t want to talk to me again, I understand that.” She latched the door, and he stood in silence for a moment. His eyes wide and his heart beginning to race- he wasn’t sure how to react.

He stepped closer after a moment, placing his hand on the door handle. It wasn’t locked, but Airin was no longer standing there.

“Hey, man...what are you even talking about? Right after I woke up, you’re the first person I wanted to see- I wanted to make sure I didn’t crush you when I fell, or anything!” He began to laugh innocently, slightly cracking the door open. She smiled, hugging her knees to her chest. She was sitting on the floor slightly away from the door, enough that she could hear his voice. She was choking back tears, but to no avail, as they began streaming down her cheeks like rivers.

“So...obviously I don’t think it was your fault...and even if I did, I’d still forgive you anyway.” His voice had a serious tone to it, as he began stepping inside. She waved her hand in a way to signal him to come in- not lifting her head towards him.

Dominance stepped inside, closing the door behind him. Her cottage was pitch-black, illuminated only by the faint moonlight shining over her bed from the window.

He sat next to her, his breathing slow and heavy. He was still nervous- not sure how to calm the situation without making it worse in the process.

“I-I know y-you would...y-you’re kind o-of an idiot so-sometimes…” She smiled, wiping her cheeks with the back of her hand. They were wet and streaked with tears- the tears she wouldn’t allow to show again.

He smiled, closing his eyes as he turned his head to face her.

His emotions swirled inside him- an indescribable feeling arising into his chest. All in one quick, thoughtless moment, he reached up to pull his mask off, the fabric catching on his hair.

Airin lifted her head, confusion filling her features as she noticed him- without his mask on- which was really making himself vulnerable.

“Y-You didn’t have to take that off if you d-didn’t want to...I hardly ever see you without it, so I’m guessing it makes you uncomfortable…” Airin questioned, pulling her knees closer to her chest.

“No way man, it’s okay! I only do this around people I actually trust, I wouldn’t want anyone else seeing this...they can’t handle it like you can!” Dominance flashed a smile, closing one of his eyes.

Airin’s gaze softened, a smile falling over her lips.

“Huh...so you trust me?” Airin questioned, a sense of calm falling over her.

Dominance’s smile widened, as did his eyes.

“Of course I do, man! What reason are you gonna give me that I shouldn’t?”

Airin tilted her head, opening her eyes fully as to look at him.

“Why? Do you want a few?” She smirked, folding her arms across her chest.

“Hit me with it! ‘Cause it’s not gonna work anyway!” Dominance’s voice naturally heightened, the pitch of it low, but the tone of it growing.

“You know what, I don’t even know. Why don’t you come up with something?” Airin sighed, knowing whatever she said probably wouldn’t get through to him anyway.

He stopped for a second, thinking hard about something.

“Well, you’re really strong and could probably snap my neck if you tried, but I’m sure you wouldn’t do that!” He flashed her a thumbs-up, and she lowered her head, smirking to herself.

“Don’t try me, you never know what I will or won’t do...just like this!” She suddenly leapt at him, grabbing his wrists and pushing him towards the ground. It caught him off guard for a second, confusion etching itself into his eyes.

“Oh, I knew you were about to do that! I told you...you’re strong enough to take me, so I figured you would at some point, anyway.” He spoke up, suddenly realizing the position they both found themselves in.

“W-Well...are you gonna fight back? I’m proving my strength right now, you should be doing the same, I’m just expecting it now!” Airin spoke up louder, smirking to herself now.

“Yeah, give me all you got! But I mean, there’s still some basic rules, like don’t cause any permanent damage, don’t pretend you’re hurt just for an advantage, and obviously don’t hit anywhere that could seriously hurt anyone…” His face suddenly darkened in color, a light blush spreading over his cheeks as he started to sit up.

“Define that last one better.” Airin suddenly had a serious expression on her face, and he turned his head, scratching his neck.

“W-Well...don’t like, kick me between the legs or something.” His voice stuttered, nervousness overtaking his features. She nodded in agreement, folding her arms.

“So, how are we supposed to ‘win’? Is it like...a game?” Airin questioned, and he nodded in agreement.

“You got that right! To win, you gotta pin the other person down for three seconds, and I guess you can count that by counting to three out loud.” Dominance continued, and Airin’s gaze shifted around the room.

“Well then, come over! Let’s start!” His voice was slightly louder, filled with passion and excitement as he sat on the bed. He patted the spot next to him, and Airin walked to it. She sat down on her bed, silently worrying that it wouldn’t be able to hold both of them.

“Alrighty then, let’s get-” Dominance was cut off by Airin throwing herself at him, immediately pinning him down.

“1, 2…” She was cut off by Dominance shoving her weight off of him with his foot, landing on top of her pillow.

“I ain’t gonna go easy on you, Air! Give me all you got!” Dominance flashed a competitive smile, springing towards her.

She caught his wrists, and they began to push back and forth with all their weight.

They continued pushing each other back and forth, Airin being unable to suppress a smile. She giggled at his intensity, pushing back with all her force. He suddenly grabbed her shoulders, but she wrenched out of his grip quickly enough to throw him back. She suddenly noticed the way his eyes sparkled in the moonlight- including the one he couldn’t use anymore.

He tried to grab her wrists again, but in a quick movement of her leg, she kicked his hands away.

“I told you I wouldn’t go easy on you, and I wasn’t-” She was cut off by him suddenly hoisting her up onto his shoulder, all while she was distracted.

“H-Hey, let me go right now! Do you wanna die?” She kicked her legs as hard as she could, but he only spun and ran around, Airin still balanced on his shoulder.

“No way! You’re gonna have to make me!” He giggled, closing his eyes. Airin got a spark of determination in her eyes, suddenly wrapping her legs around his chest, suddenly enough to make him fall backwards. He tried to catch himself, only to be met with the back of the couch.

“H-Hey, are you okay? No pretending to be hurt, okay?” Airin had a hint of true concern lacing her voice, and she sat up on her knees.

Dominance laughed, a spark of passion in his veins.

“Are you kidding me? Do you think I’d get hurt just like that? No way- that was nothing! Don’t ya see what I’m made of?” He stood up, flexing his muscles for a few seconds. She giggled, standing up in front of him.

“Yeah yeah...we know, we’ve all seen it…” Airin rolled her eyes playfully, smiling to herself.

“Hey Air, you know what this reminds me of?” Dominance’s eyes grew wide, and she shook her head in confusion. “It’s like that skit we did not too long ago...you almost fell on top of me that time too!” He laughed, and her eyes suddenly grew wide. Her cheeks reddened in embarrassment, and she quickly turned her back to him.

“Y-You were thinking about th-that?” She stuttered on her words, and he appeared confused.

“Well yeah, wasn’t it fun? I loved it, man! You did great- it was so in character! It’s like it was actually us…” Dominance trailed off, crossing his arms.

“Well it sort of was, who do you think we are- clones of us, or something?” Airin questioned playfully, and he averted his eyes to the ceiling.

“Well no- you knew what I meant! I see what you did there…” He giggled, smiling at her brightly. “No...I meant, the roles were so in character. I did it on purpose.”

“Y-You did? I m-mean...it w-was a lot like us…” Airin trailed off, hugging herself tightly.

“Yeah, I did! It was really fun, right? You seem so serious...come here!” Dominance stepped closer to her, suddenly pulling her into a hug. He picked her up off the ground, spinning around once before setting her feet back down on the ground.

She held onto him tightly, unable to suppress a smile she felt coming on.

“H-Hey- what do you think you’re doing?” Airin exclaimed, pushing her body away from his playfully. She didn’t mean it when she implied she wanted him to go away- at this point, she honestly just wanted to see how he’d react to it.

It was all in good taste- at least in her eyes it was.

After several seconds, Dominance set her back down on the bed, facing in a way that she was laying on her back.

He let go of her, sitting himself down on the bed, out of breath and sweating. He noticed the way his hands were shaking, but he didn’t try to do anything in an effort to hide it.

“S-So...what now, man?” Dominance’s voice shook as he laid on his back, his lungs taking in deep breaths.

“It’s pretty late...we should probably get to sleep now. But you don’t have to leave...if you don’t want to. I...I-I don’t want you to.” Airin sat up, turning her head away from him and folding her arms.

Dominance’s eyes widened, and he smiled.

“I wasn’t gonna leave you, man! Not when you need me most, which I can obviously tell!” Dominance smiled brightly, flashing his teeth in his happy gaze.

Airin’s gaze softened, as she closed her eyes. She suddenly had an overwhelming feeling- a feeling that he was okay, she was okay, and nothing was going to hurt them.

It’s okay- he’s not going to leave me again. He doesn’t blame me...and he’s still here. After everything I’ve done...he’s still here.

Airin smiled at her thoughts, rolling onto her side to face him.

“You...You aren’t gonna leave me, right?” Airin questioned, her voice small with confusion and uncertainty.

“W-What? No way, we can’t leave each other! We’ve seen too much to just...not be able to work something out like that. We have to stick together- it’s like fate.” Dominance had a serious tone in his voice, as if he deeply felt every word he said.

“That’s not what I meant...I meant-” Airin cut herself off, swallowing her emotions. “I meant, like...what just happened to Ed, Hira, Hailey, and Ameena. Like...you won’t die on me, right?”

Dominance’s eyes widened in his sudden realization, and he felt his chest tightening.

“N-No...well I don’t know...but they can’t kill me! You know me- they can’t kill someone who looks like this!” He ran his fingers through his hair, winking one of his eyes as he laid on his side. “But anyway, no way- we can’t die on each other! And if we go down, we go down together, okay?” Dominance sat up, grabbing both of Airin’s hands.

She suddenly felt a rush come over her, courage coursing through her veins. She could hear her heartbeat in her ears, her hands shaking in front of her. She stared into his eyes, chasing the feeling hanging in the air for just a few more moments.

Just one more second…

Airin was snapped out of her thoughts by Dominance suddenly standing up, heading towards the couch she pushed against her bed.

“H-Hey...you don’t…” She cut herself off, silently terrified to lose every moment they’d just shared. “Nevermind, it’s okay, y-you can sleep there.” She forced a smile, pain exploding behind her eyes.

Dominance confusedly looked at her for a moment, before fetching the blanket hung around the back of the couch.

“S-Sure! Well...uh- good night, I guess! Listen, Air- I really enjoyed coming over, even though you tried to lock me out and all!” He giggled, and she couldn’t suppress a mirrored reaction.

“Ah- shut up! That really doesn’t matter…” She rolled her eyes, laying down with a smile. “Well, good night, I guess…”

“Yeah! Good night, Air!” He smiled, turning onto his back.

Airin’s thoughts raced- every inch of cynicism conflicting with her exploding emotions.

We’re not in love...we don’t even share any stories.

Or do we…?

It just feels right- it’s something in his eyes.

Airin closed her eyes, letting her arms fall at her sides, and her racing heart and mind calm down.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Meanwhile, in another part of the community- Lynn and Elle weren’t so lucky to be able to fall asleep, and started to walk around the cottages, circling every path. Their journey was mostly quiet, the cold breeze filling with still silence.

Eventually, that silence had to be broken.

“Are you afraid to be out here at night, with no street lights?” Elle spoke up, staring intently at her feet. Lynn turned her head towards her friend, uncertain as to how to answer.

“No...even if I was, it doesn’t matter. I learned that awhile ago- my kids depend on me- and due to my motherly nature...I guess some of you do too. So I can’t just simply be ‘afraid’.”

Elle closed her eyes, silent for a moment.

“Ah, I don’t understand...why you’d want so many people depending on you. You’re too...strong for that. Don’t you understand human nature is just to break that down into nothingness? Have you ever seen something bad that you can’t forget?” Elle answered, her curiosity growing with each passing second.

“Well yes...we all have at some point in our lives. Mine is probably a car accident...I tried to drive away, after legally divorcing my partner. I wrecked the car, since he slashed my tires.” Lynn’s voice grew in intensity, her darkest memories filling her eyes. “No one got hurt, but that feeling...I’ll never forget it. The way the car rocked as I smashed into the tree, hearing my kids as they questioned what was going on- I’ll never forget that.”

Elle nodded in agreement, searching for an appropriate emotion to feel.

“I also didn’t forget this- that I lived through it...and so did my kids. Some people aren’t that lucky in life- I only had minor injuries.”

“Huh- I never heard of that. I’ve only been in a car a minimal amount of time, and I’ve never driven.” Elle confessed, not the slightest hint of embarrassment in her voice. “I have only minimal memories of it anyway, as I only have minimal memories of anything.”

Lynn stared at her in confusion for a moment- concern and uncertainty latching onto every word she spoke- and digging deep into her features.

“Please explain if you feel comfortable doing so…” Lynn spoke up, and Elle stopped under a street light. The pitch-blackness held steady in the atmosphere, a soft breeze tossing Elle’s hair upwards.

“Ah...it’ll scare you away, but I suppose I don’t mind…” Elle smiled to herself, hugging herself tightly. “Did you know I saw someone die once? That’s one of my clearest memories...the crimson color sticks with me all the time.”

Lynn’s eyes widened, but she stayed silent.

“You seem surprised by that. Have you not seen the same?” Elle turned around to turn her back to Lynn, a blank expression holding tightly to her features.

“Yes...but in a place like this that happens to be normal.” Lynn mirrored Elle’s tone, and Elle felt shock creeping into her mind.

“Well...I suppose you can’t be wrong...but it was already normal for me. One isn’t supposed to talk down on family members, so I am not sure if my father is truly a bad human at heart...but he did begin my hatred for it as a whole.” Elle closed her eyes, folding her arms over her chest. “I suppose being part of a gang makes you a bad human...and he used to bring me along on their missions...to this day I could get a memory of it from entering into a black-colored car.”

Lynn’s eyes widened further, concern arising in her heart.

“One day, when he returned home, he’d had enough of having a family...I saw it all, and I learned something new. Did you know using electroshock treatment doesn’t at all erase memory? It does delay brain function, I suppose...and the function of emotions isn’t always preserved alongside it.”

It took Lynn a few moments to process the words Elle was speaking, but as soon as the cold realization set in, an unsettling feeling arose inside of her body.

“O-Oh...that was...sudden. I didn’t know that happened, that’s why you’re...the way you are, right?” Lynn questioned, her face breaking out into an awkward expression.

“I am not sure I know of what you’re speaking of...my personality is the way it is, due to the fact that I like being this way. Mere humans cannot just...change that.” Elle answered, turning towards Lynn.

“I don’t believe that, you yourself just said your emotions and brain functions aren’t firing at full capacity, did I hear you correctly?” Lynn asked, scratching the back of her neck.

“Yes, I did say that...do you want to see something?” Elle tilted her head, moving closer to Lynn. Her figure was dimly lit by the moonlight, and the dead expression had left her eyes.

She parted her dark blonde hair, revealing old scars lining each side of her head and neck.

“This is from when it happened...it’s an art, isn’t it? Not an art of passion, per se...an art of rage. Perhaps- a lapse in judgement? I only would leave this place to start over...giving me and a person like you a chance to have another life.” Elle stopped herself, searching for her deepest thoughts. “Your life was bad like mine. That’s why you can tolerate things just like I can...it’s truly interesting to me. How humans perceive things is an anomaly to me...I’ll never truly understand some concepts.”

“I don’t think anyone can understand everything, and that’s okay- we don’t have to. But maybe listening to people could help you understand them better, and understand that not everyone has an intention to hurt you.” Lynn answered, her voice breaking under the pressure of her mind.

“Ah, I’ve never heard that before. I know how you perceived your trauma...nothing similar to someone like me. I don’t know how to feel about it- all I know is that we should survive this. You have the mind to do it...you think as the Chiefs do. They’ll spare you for that...I know I would.” Elle smiled, emotion filling her eyes as they widened. “I am not sure I know how to perceive someone caring about me...but I suppose I won’t stop you.”

“You shouldn’t stop me. Everyone in this world deserves a second chance- and someone to listen to them.” Lynn’s eyes filled with passion, and her heart filled with a desire- a desire to help- to focus.

Elle’s eyes widened, softening her gaze. A calm smile spread over her lips, and she clasped her hands together.

“You’re truly the only human I trust in this world...I know you’d never hurt me or someone else. I suppose that’s why I believe your children would mature to be...responsible people as well. This place doesn’t deserve someone like either of us- that’s why we should leave. We should stay...as friends. Someone like you shouldn’t lose a person who believes in you- instead of someone who’d chase you somewhere and attempt to hurt you.” Elle stopped herself, watching Lynn’s expression change. “Even if it takes all night, or maybe 100 years? I’ll never know...but I believe I’ve found hope sleeping inside myself. And I’d like to share it...I’ve never felt hope before.”

“You’ve...never felt hope before? In anyone- or anything? How did you get through anything?” Lynn questioned, her eyes growing wider.

“I do not have all the answers...but I believe I’m still alive, so isn’t that proof enough?” Elle answered, leaving Lynn to stare at her in confusion.

“I don’t think I’ll ever really know how that happened- or really how to get through to you...but I think I just did, so I guess I’m not doing horrible?” Lynn questioned, awkwardly shifting.

Elle smiled, closing her eyes.

“I wish I could feel things like you...but that’s alright. I can’t learn, but I’ll try anyway, if that would be certain to work…” Elle trailed off, starting to walk backwards. Lynn followed her silently, walking back to the cottages.

“Do you believe that I’m...evil?” Elle questioned, breaking the thick silence.

Lynn stared at her in confusion, before folding her arms.

“No, I don’t...I think you’re misunderstood. If you really had something to do with Ameena’s death, I understand your motive, although I don’t condone murder.” Lynn sternly answered her, and Elle nodded in agreement. “I think you needed someone to listen to you. And I guess that’s what I’m here for- don’t hesitate, okay?” Lynn smiled, and Elle mirrored her reaction.

They arrived at Elle’s cottage, both entering. Elle didn’t speak again for the rest of the night, silently motioning towards her couch.

Lynn laid down, kicking her shoes in the direction of the door.

Her thoughts were beating against her brain- stabbing through her heart and consciousness.

She knew it probably wasn’t safe to be in Elle’s cottage, alone- like she was- but she figured that Elle had proven she wouldn’t do anything- but was cut off by suddenly drifting into sleep.

#writers and poets #writers on tumblr #authors #author #novel #novelist #bookish #books and literature #horror #dystopia #reading #read in 2022

[jesusology]

kendall roy on the brain, kendall roy in the heart

#succession #succ text posts #kendall roy #I'M GOING TO KEEP THESE TAGS VERY BRIEF #BUT LET'S JUST SAY I CAN"T STOP THINKING ABOUT SEASON 3 SHALL WE #LET'S JUST SAY THAT #my eyes are glued to kendall #i'm over here like.... girls help! lol #how am i supposed to be thinking about anything else #i have a pre op appointment tomorrow and my surgeon will be talking to me and i'll be over here like #thinking about kendall and shit #yes i need help stat but that is beside the point #THE POINT is that this is gonna be a crazy season and i love it man i love it #starts fuckin crying #come at me with all your succ thoughts people. come at me

[harryssweatcreaturee]

it would be as if Harry were interacting with an ex-girlfriend (or some friend) and the reader got jealous. or it could also be the other way around, like harry jealous that y/n is talking to some ex-boyfriend or friend

the one where y/n gets jealous

a/n: i wrote this quickly in between chores an exams so i hope this is what you asked for <33333

word count: 838

warnings: angst

--

(Y/N) was missing Harry so much even though they lived together.

He had been so busy between recording at the studio and attending meetings back-to-back, getting home so late and tired. They barely saw each other during the day and at night, they’d just cuddle and go to sleep.

(Y/N) wasn’t a jealous person for the most part. She knew Harry had a very demanding career; she knew what she signed up for. She’d never think Harry was running off to cheat on her and giving her the lame excuse about work, but after last night, she couldn’t help it.

Harry had warned her that it was going to be another long day because Jeff told him he had to meet with a couple of people after the studio. She spent the rest of her evening on their couch, watching reruns of Friends. Like always, she’d patiently wait for Harry to come home, occasionally scrolling through her phone or just quick update texts with Harry. So, she was doing just that, a blanket messily covering her legs with her phone aimlessly scrolling through Instagram when she came upon a post of Harry with Kendall. She knew it was recent because he was wearing the same exact outfit he left with earlier that day. And what made it worse, Harry was sitting right beside her, huge smile on his face.

Her heart was racing in anger and jealousy. She couldn’t help it. Especially since they were exes and she always compared herself to her. The gorgeous model Harry was once with. Of course, she’d never tell him that, but this post made it so much worse.

(Y/N) clicked on the account to find that they’d post a few more pictures and it tore her heart. Harry looked so happy next to her. She locked her phone, leaving it on the coffee table before going up to their room to take a shower in hopes that the water would wash away her jealousy.

It didn’t work.

She purposely left her phone downstairs to keep herself from looking at those pictures and calling Harry in a jealous rage which was so unlike her though she felt like fire was flowing through her veins just thinking of the two of them together.

It had been an hour since she’d seen the pictures. (Y/N) was now laying on her bed, TV on with the volume low – she could hear the front door open and Harry automatically calling out her name.

Harry was worried. He always gave her a quick call when he’d be on his way home to let her know, and he got even more worried when he walked in and (Y/N) wasn’t waiting for him on the couch.

She always waited for him on the couch.

“Baby?” He called out, walking up the stairs.

(Y/N) ignored his calling, eyes still glued to the TV.

Harry finally reached their room, opening the door and feeling relief wash over him when he saw her lying in bed just watching the television.

“Got scared, m’love. Didn’t answer my call and y’weren’t downstairs.” He was ignored again. He furrowed his eyebrows in confusion. Harry started thinking about what he did all day, trying to figure if he’d done something wrong to make her upset but nothing came up.

“(Y/N), what’s wrong? Turn around, look at me.”

“Don’t want to.”

“Turn around. And look at me.” Harry stated sternly and on a louder note. She took in a deep breath, turning around to face Harry with a serious look on her face.

“Yes?”

“What happened?”

“Nothing.”

“You like to pretend I don’t know you, but I know you better than you know yourself. So, I’ll ask you one more time. Why are you ignoring me?”

(Y/N) sighed angrily, not knowing how to bring up the fact that she was upset without sounding like a crazy, controlling girlfriend. That’s the last thing she wanted to be.

“Why were you with Kendall today? And so happy with her too.”

Harry immediately sighed, shaking his head as he approached their bed to sit on the edge. “Oh, honey. We just met up because Vogue wants us to collab for a shoot. We were with our managers too. Was nothing out of this world, that I can promise you. No need to be jealous.”

Though she couldn’t help but still be a bit jealous, relief replaced the anger in her veins, looking up at Harry with a frown. “I’m not jealous.” Harry chuckled with a small nod. “Yeah, y’are.” He scooted closer to take her into a hug, placing a soft kiss on her lips.

“You never have to worry. Y’the only one for me. I love you so, so much, angel. Promise.”

A smile adorned her lips, eyes looking at Harry full of love and attentively on him. The man never failed to let his girl know just how much he loved him and how he was made just for her. Especially when she needed a little extra reassurance.

--

taglist: @mouthfulloftoothpastehs @imavirginhoe @camflowervol6 @evanjh @peaceandloverry @sunflowervolume66 @majasophieanna @msolbesg

#harry styles imagine #harry styles #harry styles fan fics #harry styles one shot #harry styles x reader #harrystylesfanfics #harry styles x y/n #harry blurb #harry styles fic #harry styles fics #harry styles angst #harry styles blurb #harry styles story #harry styles concept #harry styles blurbs #harry styles mature

[sigurdjarlson]

Can u imagine if Greg catches Tom indisputably checking out his ass and absolutely drags him for it

This ask immediately made me think of the interview where Matthew gets asked “if you could check any characters ass and use that to further the relationship who would it be?” And he says “Greg. Gotta be Greg. *mimes looking* hey Greg you been working out?”

Okay but I’m not sure if he’d call him on it right away because Tom would absolutely deny it.

Hehjdjd he bends over to pick something up he dropped but he can see Tom in the reflection of something and notices he is quite clearly staring

And he’s like ??? Is Tom checking out my ass? Holy shit? Is he seeing things or misinterpreting this? Or is he really just.. he proceeds to test this theory a hilarious amount of times?

Oh no I dropped my pencil owo let me just bend over and yep every time Tom is like 👀 somehow he doesn’t realize Greg is doing this on purpose yet

He literally looks like such a slut tho and their coworkers are watching this all unfold like a nature documentary on animal mating rituals

Oh no he needs to reach across the table to grab some hint and he’s like “subtly” doing shit like (pool players are wild)

It’s awful. It’s terrible. Tom is two seconds away from snapping and railing him. Greg is having the time of his life frustrating him.

He pulls something like this at the dinner table with the Roys one night and again Tom’s eyes are glued to his ass

Roman notices and starts laughing so hard he inhales his food and almost chokes to death. Kendall has to slap him on the back. Shiv somehow doesn’t notice her husband’s fixation. Willa is giggling uncontrollably. Connor doesn’t understand why. Logan calls Roman a slur

#succession asks #asks #tomgreg #Nic may not have a lot of ass but it is a cute one #(he shows it in a few movies actually) #I’d post it but last time tumblr flagged my post :(; #crack #but is it? #(haha crack..)

[inthehytes]

Can we please have the next part to the angst 🥺🥺 where they talk it out?

Of course. Be ready for all the sweet fluff you could imagine

—-

Three weeks. It had been three weeks of Synthia dancing around Gia and their every move, desperate to avoid any and all contact with them that she could. She was exhausted, miserable and tired of having to avoid one of her best friends, someone she loved with every fiber of her being. All because she’d been too shy to take the chance when she had it.

She sighed miserably as she dug the key into the lock of their apartment. It was late and she’d just returned from a late night study session with some of her classmates. She wanted nothing more than to curl up on the couch between Kendall and Gia, but she knew it was impossible. Kendall was visiting her parents for the weekend and wasn’t due back until late. Gia had been avoiding her like the plague as well, they’d hardly been home and when they had come home it was always late at night and they disappeared straight to their room and shut the door tight. Synthia’s chest hurt to think about where they were going, unable to imagine anyone else with her Gia like that. Her Gia, Synthia laughed bitterly as she finally wrangled the door open and stepped inside the dark apartment. It was warm at least, something that couldn’t be said for the chilly air in the hallway. It was growing too close to winter again.

“Synthia? Is that you?” She tensed hearing Gia’s voice from the living area, footsteps growing closer until suddenly they were standing right behind her. She hated how cornered she felt, how uneasy and nervous being around them felt.

“Hey Gi, I’m sorry but it’s late, I should probably head to bed-”

“No,” she blinked in shock at their refusal, not used to Gia not agreeing with her when it comes to sleeping. “No, I can’t do this anymore Synthia, I can’t do this distance, this coldness, I feel like we don’t even know each other anymore. Tell me what I did wrong and I’ll fix it I promise, but I can’t help if I don’t know how.”

“You didn’t, you didn’t do anything wrong.” Synthia’s eyes were glued to the floor as she struggled to find her words and the will to not let the anxious feeling in her chest take over. Freaking out on Gia was the last thing she needed. “I’m just trying to make it easier, make it more tolerable, for when I lose you.”

“Lose me? Where am I going?” Gia’s fingers tipped Synthia’s chin up to meet their eyes, a feat Synthia could barely manage to do through the tears that had begun to pool in her eyes. “How could you possibly lose me?”

“Don’t make me say it, please don’t make me.” She nearly begs, unsure if her heart could handle saying the words that had been haunting her ever since she’d seen their back all scratched up. Synthia could feel her control slipping, steady breaths giving way to the growing tightness in her chest.

“I need to know Syn, stay with me yeah? You can do it.” Their gentle encouragement was enough to send her tears streaking down her face with a short sob. Even when they were in the middle of an argument Gia was perfectly wonderful and it made her heart hurt all the more.

“I can’t.” She shakes her head, hands curling into fists as she fights the urge to run to her room or back out the door. “I can’t Gia.”

“You can, you can tell me anything my angel. Please, I’ve missed you so much.” Synthia crashed into their arms as her resolve broke, taking the last shreds of control she had over her emotions. She sobbed into their shoulder as she tried her hardest to find the words to explain it all.

“You, you and Icesis. You’re together now but I don’t want you to be! I lost, I lost my chance and I can’t stand it.” She still can’t quite bring herself to tell Gia how she felt, even as she let them lead her to the couch and pull her into their lap, warm arms around her. Her face remained firmly tucked into their shoulder where she could avoid eye contact.

“Icesis? We’re not, it’s not like that. It was just a one time thing, she’s far too gone for Pythia to notice anyone else let alone be with them. Is that what all of this was about? You thought Icesis and I were together? Syn, honey.” Their hands rubbed warm circles into her back as she wept, her own hands clutched tightly into their sweatshirt.

“You’re not? But, I thought,” she sniffles, pulling back only enough to finally meet their gaze, uncaring that she looked like a wreck. “Gia.”

“It’s alright-“

“No, I need you to hear this before I lose my nerve. Gia, I can’t, I don’t want to just be friends with you and Kendall anymore. I’m in love with you both and I can’t keep going on without you knowing and it’s okay if you don’t feel-“

Synthia’s rambling was cut off by Gia’s lips, rough and slightly chapped, pressing against her own. Synthia gasped, frozen in shock momentarily until Gia pulled away.

“How could I not be in love with you? You silly sweet girl, I’ve loved you since the night you took me in. The night you cried because of the way I was treated. You hold so much care and love in your little body I’d be a blind fool to not love you.” Synthia chokes on a sob, this time of happiness as she buries her face in Gia’s neck, grip tight as she clings to them.

“You love me.” She sniffles out, letting Gia wipe her cheeks dry with gentle fingers.

“I love you Synthia Kiss and I’ll never let a day pass that I don’t tell you that. When Kendall comes home we’ll all sit down and talk, but I know she’ll feel the same.” They reassure her, warm hands coming to rest on her hips, keeping her sat in their lap.

“I’m sorry, for avoiding you for this long I just was scared that I was going to lose you.” Synthia’s fingers trace the tired lines around their eyes, the dark bruising evident that they hadn’t been sleeping well lately.

“You’re never going to lose me, you were stuck with me the day Robbie Phillips decided to pull your pigtail.” Gia grins up at her, tipping her chin down to press a quick peck to her lips.

“I wouldn’t want it any other way.”

#friends to lovers au #bratpack #synthia kiss #gia metric #kendall gender

[mascwhump]

Trenches, Part 2

Chapter 7 - Uninvited

Hope you’re buckled in for this behemoth. Please read the CW and be safe.

CW: Attempted noncon, general nsfw stuff, intimate whumper, manhandling, alcohol, guns

Tag list: @whatwasmyprevioususername @milk-carton-whump @whatwhumpcomments @ashintheairlikesnow @tears-and-lilies @utopian819

-

Charlie found Basil peaking his head out from the basement door. He motioned for him to go downstairs, then followed. They took seats on opposite ends of the couch. Basil started to bite at his nails.

"We fucked up, dude," Charlie said.

"He's going to kill us," Basil spoke.

"He doesn't know it was us. If he does find out, I'm taking all the blame, so you don't have to worry."

"That's not fair, Charlie."

"It was my idea. I just want to know what the fuck happened. He was scared shitless, man."

They spent the rest of the day in the basement, not wishing to disturb Mallory. They hardly heard him move around upstairs. Charlie was actually worried about him, though, he'd never admit it. It was sometime around nine when he decided to venture upstairs. He found Mallory on the couch with a glass of wine. Mallory didn't pay any attention to him as he sat down next to him. Charlie wanted to speak, but didn't know what to say. The woman on the TV droned on about something relating to the economy that Charlie didn't understand. Once it went to a commercial, Mallory finally looked at him.

"This is my fifth one," Mallory said before he finished what was left in the glass.

"Jesus. Do you, uh, want to talk about what happened?" Charlie asked.

"No," Mallory replied.

He set the empty glass on the coffee table.

"Ah, shit," he sighed, "I forgot to tell Basil I need him to meet Nikolas tonight. Basil!"

Basil came running up the basement steps and into the living room.

"I need you to meet Nikolas at the base. Like, tonight. He needs helps with something. I don't know what," Mallory said.

"Okay. I'll get ready and head out," Basil replied.

"Thanks," Mallory said.

Basil was out the door within five minutes, leaving them alone. Sasha appeared from under the couch and hopped into Mallory’s lap. He pet her lazily for a few minutes until she decided to go somewhere else. Mallory then fell to his side, halfway in Charlie’s lap.

“Even she hates me,” he murmured, face buried against Charlie’s leg.

“No, she doesn’t,” Charlie assured.

“Nobody loves me. Nobody ever has. I don’t even know what it feels like to be loved. My parents hate me, my cat hates me, you hate me.”

“I told you, I don’t hate you.”

“Why not? You have every reason to hate me. You should’ve left that pillow on my face. You should go grab a knife from the kitchen and just stab me, right now.”

“Jesus, Mal!”

Charlie pulled at the back of his shirt to make him sit up. He was pouting, and his eyes were wide.

“Have you ever thought about going to therapy?” Charlie asked.

Mallory looked at him quizzically for a moment, and Charlie burst into laughter.

“Just kidding. Actually, not really,” Charlie said.

Mallory groaned as he wrapped his arms around Charlie, holding onto him with some sort of lazy hug. He then moved over to straddle Charlie’s legs, then buried his face in his neck.

Charlie sat awkwardly. He wasn’t sure what to do with his arms, so eventually, he just hugged him back. He felt Mallory sigh against his neck. Then, Mallory kissed it ever so gently. A few seconds later, he did it again, lingering longer this time. He repeated the process over and over again. Eventually, he was leaving little love bites all along his neck.

“Charlie,” He murmured.

“Hmm?” Charlie hummed.

“I want-“

Mallory was interrupted by the sound of footsteps approaching from the hallway. He lifted his head, and Charlie saw his eyes go wide. Mallory stumbled off of him, tripping backwards over the coffee table, then landed on the other side of it. He propped himself up, eyes still glued to the hall. Charlie stood up and turned around to see Kendall leaning against the wall with his arms folded.

“What the hell are you doing here again? How did you even get in?” Charlie snapped.

“Door was unlocked,” Kendall spoke.

He moved toward Charlie until they were just inches apart.

“Step aside, or I’ll make you,” Kendall threatened.

Charlie swung his fist and hit him square in the jaw before tackling him. He continued swinging at him until Kendall caught one of his wrists, then managed to roll. Now on top, he was hitting Charlie. One particularly hard punch made him go limp, and Kendall stopped to retrieve zip ties from his back pocket. He zipped Charlie’s wrists together and then to the staircase railing. He turned to Mallory, who had retreated to the other side of the living room. He put his hands up to cover his face as Kendall approached him.

“Come on, babe. Don’t be like that,” Kendall said as he reached for Mallory’s hands.

Mallory tore them away from him and slurred, “Don’t fucking touch me.”

“You’re drunk, huh? That makes it easier for me,” Kendall laughed.

He grabbed Mallory by his neck and forced him face down on the floor. He sat on his legs to prevent him from moving. Mallory used to his arms to crawl out from underneath him, and Kendall laughed at his struggle.

“Get the fuck off me!” Mallory shouted.

Kendall gripped his hair and forced his face against the ground. He used his other hand to unbuckle his belt, and Mallory struggled harder. He reached behind his head to claw at Kendall’s hand. Kendall responded by forcing his head up, and Mallory cried out.

“Keep struggling, it’s my favorite part,” he growled.

Kendall tossed his belt away, purposely leaving it in Mallory’s view. He unbuttoned and unzipped his jeans, then hooked his fingers into Mallory’s waistband.

“Hey, hey! Stop! Get away from him, stop!” Charlie shouted.

Kendall groaned loudly.

“Apparently, I didn’t hit you hard enough,” he sighed. He climbed off of Mallory and moved over to Charlie with his fist coiled back.

“Wait, wait- hear me out,” Charlie begged.

“What?” Kendall bit.

“Leave him alone, and-and…”

“Spit it out!”

“You can do whatever you want to me. Anything. Just don’t touch him!”

Kendall seemed surprised. He reached down and brushed his fingers through Charlie’s hair as he considered his offer.

“Anything?” Kendall queried.

Charlie nodded quickly. He looked over at Mallory, who had managed to sit up. Charlie couldn’t read his expression. His eyes shot back to Kendall when he grabbed his chin and forced him to look up at him.

“You are pretty cute,” Kendall considered, “Okay. I’ll take your offer.”

“Charlie-“

“Shut up,” Kendall hissed at Mallory.

“Just one request,” Charlie spoke.

“What?”

“Don’t make him watch, please,” he said quietly.

“Fine,” Kendall replied.

He cut the tie that kept Charlie to the railing, then forced him to stand up.

“No,” Mallory spoke, voice cracking.

“Stay here,” Charlie said.

He lead Kendall to the basement steps, and could feel his heart beat harder every step down. Once in the basement, he stood in the center of the room as Kendall eyed him.

“You’re a good boyfriend. You must really love him,” Kendall spoke.

“I’m not- we’re not together,” Charlie replied.

“Really? Then what was that I walked in on? And how about these?” Kendall said, tracing the hickeys on Charlie’s neck.

“I don’t have to explain myself to you,” Charlie snapped.

“Fair enough. Talking is so boring, anyway,” Kendall grinned.

He leaned in and started kissing Charlie’s neck. Charlie clenched his jaw. The probable concussion he had was making him dizzy and nauseous, and the anxiety of the situation he was in didn’t help. Kendall abruptly slid his hand down the front of Charlie’s pants. Charlie felt his face burning hot. He wanted nothing more than to knock Kendall to the ground and kick the shit out of him, but he couldn’t. He wouldn’t win, especially with no use of his arms and a concussion, and he knew Kendall would just leave to go back upstairs to Mallory. Charlie then wondered why he felt the need to protect Mallory, why he sacrificed himself for him. Would Mallory do the same for him? Was it because he was the reason Kendall was there in the first place?

Kendall began pecking at his lips, and Charlie instinctively tore his head away.

“Uh-uh, kiss me,” Kendall hissed as he gripped Charlie’s jaw.

Then, a series sudden booms made Kendall whip around. Mallory was lying at the bottom of the steps, groaning.

“I told you to stay upstairs,” Charlie spoke.

“I called the police,” Mallory said.

Kendall charged toward him and lifted him up by his shirt. He then slammed him into the wall.

“You what?!”

“I said I called the cops, you cunt.”

Kendall leaned in and whispered something in his ear. Mallory looked confused, until Kendall threw him back to the ground. He then started up the stairs.

“I’m not fucking done with you!” He yelled.

They waited until they heard the front door slam shut, then, Charlie moved over to Mallory.

“You okay?” He asked.

Mallory nodded. “Yeah. I didn’t actually call the police, though.”

“I figured,” Charlie replied.

He found a pair of scissors in the bathroom and used the counter to angle them around the zip tie. He cut his own off first, before releasing Mallory from his.

“Thanks,” Mallory murmured.

“Yup,” Charlie replied.

“No, really,” Mallory said as he sat up, “you didn’t have to do that.”

“I know,” Charlie said.

He helped Mallory back up the stairs. He then made sure the door was locked, and grabbed a knife from the kitchen before they went up the next set of stairs to the bedroom. They didn’t speak another word. Instead, they got into bed. Charlie was half asleep when he felt Mallory snuggle up against his back.

They didn’t talk about it the next morning. Mallory was hungover, and in a shitty mood overall. At lunch, they sat at the dining table, silence filling the air. Charlie watched Mallory toy with his food, not eating.

“Last night, right before he left-“

“He whispered something to you,” Charlie cut in.

Mallory nodded. Charlie set his fork down and waited. Mallory stared at his plate for a moment before inhaling suddenly.

“He said to tell Basil thanks for giving him my address,” Mallory finally spoke.

Charlie felt his blood go cold.

“He did?” He asked.

“Mhm. So, I need to make a phone call. You won’t be seeing him again.”

He stood up and started to walk down the hall.

“Wait,” Charlie called.

Mallory came back into the kitchen and waited for Charlie to speak up. Charlie avoided his eyes as he began to talk.

“It wasn’t Basil. It was me,” he said.

He held his breath. Mallory stood still for a moment before calmly sitting back down at the table. Charlie could feel him staring.

“See, I, uh, I found some pictures of your yearbooks, you know? And I saw some pictures of you two and the notes he left you and-and then I took Basil’s phone while he was sleeping. I found him on Facebook and messaged him, and he said you guys lost contact when he moved or something, so I-I thought maybe it would make you happy if you got to meet again, so I told him where you lived and I’m really sorry. I just wanted to make you happy,” Charlie rambled.

Mallory stared at him with a blank expression, his hands clasped together on the table.

“I’m sorry,” Charlie repeated softly.

“Did Basil know about any of this?” Mallory asked, “Be honest with me.”

“Well, I-I told him Kendall was coming, so that’s why he let him in the house,” Charlie explained.

“I see. Well, now I know that I should’ve never let my guard down. You do realize that I have to punish you for this, right?”

Charlie nodded. An hour later, Mallory told Charlie to get dressed. They were going to the base. Back to Site Alpha, where it all began. Charlie’s hands were sweating as he stood in the garage, waiting for Mallory.

“Get in,” Mallory said when he finally came.

He hit the button to open the garage, and as Charlie went to get in the car, he noticed a pair of legs outside the garage. He paused as he waited for it to open all the way. Mallory followed his gaze and looked outside.

Crow stood in the driveway.

“You picked the wrong time to come here, mate,” Mallory hissed as he pulled a handgun from his waist.

“I’m unarmed,” Crow said, putting his hands up, “I just came to talk.”

“Get out of here before I shoot,” Mallory warned.

“Hear me out, please,” Crow pleaded.

“Fine. You’ve got ten seconds.”

“Listen, everyone- the CIA, FBI, MI6… they’re rounding us up. All of us. They got Deke already. I know for a fact that they’re coming for you, too, Mallory.”

#oc #whump #nsfwhump #whumper #intimate whumper #whumper turned whumpee #whumpee #whump story #attempted noncon tw #easton’s unnamed story #whump oc

[muffindaddystyles]

𝑌𝑂𝑈𝑁𝐺 & 𝐵𝐸𝐴𝑈𝑇𝐼𝐹𝑈L 

A oneshot of how you two met in the beautiful city of Italy, how Harry finds you an Angel descended from heaven above that took his hand and became his light. Dad!harry full of fluff..oh yeah dad!harry nation lets rise. .Part two of tooth rotting dad harry of it is here too. young and beautiful (II)

It's Saturday night. Harry and you intentionally have no plans but to loaf around in your guys cosy homely space. The candles flames with rośe tranquilness, the intro to movie watched many times together rolling in. Both of you are snuggled onto large body sucking sea-green velvet couch infront of telly.

His daddy long legs nestled atop your hip hooking around your ankle protecting you from falling if possible (moreso the fact he's extremely protective of you in your pregnancy.) His one elbow snaked around your collarbones which are now hiding underneath soft swelling, his sweater pawed arm sheltering around your huge eight months baby bump slender tender fingers tucked underneath your side.

You relaxes into him, back pressed to his tanned chest and with his chin resting atop your hair whenever he rasped out something it bobbed your whole head.

"Yeh' kay, baby? comfy?" He asks you for the hundredth time now caressing and stroking your chin, then earlobes, collarbones to your belly and the list goes on. It's one of his habits that he doesn't realizes himself more as ℎ𝑖𝑠 𝑙𝑜𝑣𝑒 𝑙𝑎𝑛𝑔𝑢𝑎𝑔𝑒. Harry's love language's physical contact, lots and lots of them. He finds calm in touching you here and there, raking his palms without them knowing their destination. He's cuddly and clingiest when drunk. Although, he has stopped drinking since you both are expecting but the clingy part of him jumped out during this period his only excuses are "wanna stay close to me' three babies." Or "i feel empty when you're even a bit away from me." 

"'M lover, stop worrying." You bring his jaw down with the tip of your pointer finger to kiss his lips gently with a tilt of your chin. He mumbles an anxious "cant." in your mouth running his thumb under the curve of your womb with amiable affection.

You hiss into his mouth when one of your bubba kicks you with ever most force and he pushes away with amused eyes, when he felt the kick against his palm. It's not like it's his first but everything related to his unborn babies muse him to utter excitement and tears of joy.

He shifts a tad resting his a little scruffy cheek against your silken naked bump, you're wearing one of his crotched zinc orange crop top and it bunched up your belly in very much likeness of Harry, he thinks you look so endearingly sexy he could make you use him as many times you want. His ear tucked under the crescent of your chest, "feels like jus' a barrier of skin between us." He bubbles his accent and you smile down at him infectiously. Meanouvering your fingers into his chestnut curls and massaging his scalp that made his eyelids futter into bliss.

There was another visible kick and Harry smoothed down the skin eyes shinning up at you, "a footy champ this one." You sucked your bottom lip trying not break into fits of laughter because from the weight your pelvis muscles has become weak and you end up leaving wet tiny splotches most of the time. First time you had it was two months ago you were fucking embarrassing and couldn't stop crying right after an hour of genuine laugh ofcourse caused by Harry when you guys shopped for babies and he wore that one onesie on his head being all goofy and child of two while expecting two himself.

"How're meh' baby girls. meh' bunnies." He smauched loud wet kisses all over your belly making slobbery snuggly voices to annoy you. You tug at his roots whining loudly because you know the undeniable loving scene of Harry talking to his two daughters will bring you to tears all because of stubborn hormones. Yes, two!

While you weren't even expecting a pregnancy, God said wait for my bumper surprise.

Everyone told your bump looks healthier than normal pregnancies but you ignored it until the day of gender check-up. Harry was ecastatic, fist pumping the air, bouncing with your hands intervined tears bloodshot in his eyelines. So were you...but you had a huge breakdown on the wooden floor of your home's threshold. You were blabbering thousand questions to him, body shaking and fighting to breath.

"I...I can't do this, Harry...too much 's too much." You cried to him that day. But he cradled your face into his calloused palms his temple kissed yours, "ye' can, my sweet girl. we can. wish I could bear one of our baby bunny, it's sad that I cant help ye'. But, it's my promise to be there for you forever and always." He leaned down to kiss you with so much love, more love he was keeping to himself ever since and more more love he can't put into words.

He comes back from your belly to leave a feathery kiss on your lips that makes you yearn for him more and settles back to his previous position, his face shoved into the crook of your neck and he presses kisses to the corner of your lips while your eyes remains glued to telly.

As Sally and Harry bickered in the car you chuckled softly fingers tracing his nose and the mole sheltered under it, "remember how we met?" His breath fanned tickling your cheek heartily when he shook his head with a giddy giggle.

"How could I not? Yeh' were a honey pot and a weepy mess after tha'." He scrunches his nose at you adorably reminiscing the night and series of nights after that.

"It was your fault mister." You twitch your lips turning to his side with his help and his hand sprawled at your back instinctively. "Ye' souvenired t' give a lonely guy like me some company, first." He smiles when you huffed. His beam getting joyously wider when your belly pressed tightly against his's and he kisses your forehead multiple times.

"Who thought that guy escapin' from Gucci's biggest event could be a dad of two girls." You quip playing with his neckline and his chest rumbled with a titter that sent you to cloud nine.

"Not me at all. But, if I could meet him back in time I'll tell him how lucky he's gonna be, how happy he'll be, that he doesn't needs to be a grumpy daddy when he could be a real happy one." His eyes are glassy and you cupped his cheeks placing your lips atop his into a feverish kiss of gentleness.

~𝐹𝑎𝑙𝑠ℎ𝑏𝑎𝑐𝑘 𝑡𝑜 2015~

Gucci's spring festive on full blossom in the most popular old city of Italy, Milan. It's luxurious in all it's glory. A-list celebrities and world claimed most beautiful models. The hall clattered and shushed with talks, rumours, gossips and greets. Then it's fashion and tailored-fitted clothes, formal gowns. Fake smiles. Cold hearts.

On the long dinning table piled with food that sometimes's too difficult to pronounce Harry sat along with Kendall Jenner. His ex-girlfriend and a friend for now. She talks excitedly with the person infront of her snarling rude remarks here and there. Her hand came squeezing his thigh under the table that startled him from his imaginary world. A world where he's at peace, the luxuries doesn't exist and he's nothing but a normal person.

"Huh, love?" He kinks his brows together fiddling with the napkin in his lap and she gave him a furious pout for not giving her full attention, "I was pointing out how fast-fashion brands are shit." She rolls her eyes. Harry can't believe her bratty arse. He shrugged his thigh with a tad more harshness to get rid of her touch.

"Dunno. No' everyone could afford luxury brands." At this the model infront of them cackled more in her mock and sniffed to be polite in the fake hush of the room. Harry's eyes turned glassy and the jade in the murky to the visible irritation at their behaviour. His expressions dark and unreadable under the very less light.

Quiffing his long hickorey curls back he nibbed at his pointer finger's knuckle only to bend it under his chin afterwards, "'m serious." Kendall sighs loudly at this clearly annoyed by the way he's acting and the model infront of him gave him a 'whatever makes you sleep at night.' look and a shrug of her shoulders in arrogance while eating her steak.

Enough. Harry thinks with a grumble struck in his chest. He rakes the chair back that drew some attention but it drifted to some person sharing their experience and all that shit talk again on the loop.

Harry's guard followed him behind pushing the paparazzi away. Flashes in his eyes. Made up assumptions to his ears and shoved up opinions to his chest. He's sick. From all of this. He wants to shout to no-one in particular but himself, he wants an escape. He wants it with his every bleeding cell.

Then he takes a curt turn with a whiplash of his torso to dark alley beside the building from which he just exited and when he reached the end it was blocked by a brick wall so he jumped with ease to other side, his expensive boots scruffing against the gravel. He gave no care to the guard behind him.

He was in a local less populated street. Wider with the bumpy stones and there were people indeed but nobody paid him heed.

He sat on the concrete bench. Flinging his one leg over another hand gripping near his crotch and with a relieved huge exhale of breath he took his phone out going through it. After, so long he feels like he's a free dove who could breath free escaping from it's cage.

He's broken. Empty and in the rough path of his life. He doesn't know how to cope with it. It makes him fuckin' insane.

There's an ice-cream cart few steps away from where he's sitting alone onto bench. His head snaps at the beautiful giggle bouncing through the tangerine sky. He squints his eyes to get a better look of the group of friends crowding near the cart and licking onto their ice-creams.

Your white cotton dress furled with a wave of zephyr and the loose errand of your hair slipping from your low bun cascading around your face while you gave a belly ache laugh to one of your tall friend bopping his nose at his silliness.

Harry stares at the interaction of young people. They're just like him but looks more happy and youthful then why couldn't he?

His eyes are set on a certain figure and that's you still hidden from him as your friend Mona blocked the sight of your perfect view to Harry nudging your ribs.

"Is that Harry Styles." Jo mutters when his eyes fell over him and then he bashfully hisses, "don't look back! Don't look back. You guys are being too specific." Considering yourself stupid you spinned to have an ethereal sight of Harry sitting all by himself on the cold bench, his carved features glowing with the illumination of his phone screen still unlocked while he got distracted by you people.

"Doesn't feels like he's enjoying himself." Mona quipped taking a large swipe of her cold delight. None of them too interested in his wear abouts.

Call it clićhe but you don't have any thought in your mind before you're asking for an ice-cream cone from the ice-cream man heading towards him with your hands occupied with two.

Harry's breath hitching in his palpalating heart at the complete sight of you, for sore eyes for sure. His nerves jittery and knee bouncing in restlessness as you approaches him with a sweet grin. He takes in your complete look. White flowy dress and nude sandals, loop earrings and the bright red lipstick resembling the blood gush of his heart. 'Less is more' making you appear so beautiful.

Harry's so lost in his own brain wrecking that he forgot where you went but you rounds him from behind flinging your left leg on the other side of bench to sit on it with your legs on either side of it, he again startles getting off-guard hastily turning to face you when you tapped his shoulder.

Licking your own vanilla sweetness you forwarded the cone to him a sweet sheepish smile on your glowing hearty features. His body guard instantly changed his position to stop you but Harry gave him a stink eye accepting your offer shyly. Your cheeks heating even in the mild temperature when his supple fingers brushed yours.

"Thank you." His voice timid wiping the corners of his heart shaped lips but you just shrugged your shoulders leaning back with your hand pressed against the bench, "no problem. you're welcome." Harry gazes at your collarbones prodding from the flimsy fabric of your v-line then he shifted his gaze down to his Gucci loafers telling himself not to be a pervert. It's just you're too delicate that he can't stop admiring.

"I like your suit." You compliments him with glinting eyes and his cheeks flushed with shyness mumbling a "thank you." Under his erratic breath.

His eyes flutters and tummy flips when you bring your hand closer to him taking the sleeve of his jacket tugging at it, "it's too graphic you know...in a good way." He finds it endearing that you were this engulfed in just the design of his suit and when you tilt your chin peering up at him, he feels like his brain stopped functioning. He nods eyes still locked to yours and when he sense some coldness dripping down his thumb he quickly ducks down to lick it off causing his sculpted cheek to stroke against your silken ones in utter gentleness.

You gulp timidly sitting back straighter.

"So...? For what stuff you're here for Harry?" He loves the way his name sounds mellow coming from you. He clears his throat unwinding his long legs to stretch them wide and it nudged yours sending jolts to both of you, "uh, 'm 'ere fo' Gucci event." You beam at this shifting closer to him.

"I like the way it sounds comin' from you." He cackles at this running his fingers to tame his matte curls.

His tense demeanor slipping bringing his shy, timid and goofball ones exposed to you. He's himself surprised that all the built up frustration in his nerves drained away from your presence.

Being an art major and a fashion geek you asks him with ferverishness patting his knee, "what was it like? I've heard it's mesmerising." He chuckles at this. He wanna scoff because a sweet girl like you wouldn't last a second there.

"'S okay. I guess." He elevates his shoulder in bored expression and when the ice-cream swipes at the tip of his nose you giggled bunching forward to his side. He smiles down at you squinting his eyes narrow in an accuse.

"And what yer' here fo'? Wait yeh from here?" You bite the waffled cone chewing it. Words muffling with a full mouth, "having a trip with my University's friends. I live in London though. I really really wanted to see Milan. So, here I'm." You make an innocent childish face raising your arms in air to show him and his heart's soothing to peace with every homely action you'd pull to make him relaxe.

Then there was silence that Harry was unaware how to break. He could hear you talking for an eternity. On the other hand you aren't that akward to make conversations with people. No doubt you're shy, and wants your own space to blossom but this one habit of yours is inseparable.

"You know when back home. An ice-cream man would come daily at midnight in summers. Me and my cousins would climb up his bicycle cart like darn monkeys. Pop our heads inside the freezer and annoy the fuck outta him. God I miss home." There's this un-pointable feeling. That's unfigurative to Harry but it's there; of admiration and of endearment. His heart's at cloud nine caressing itself to the pink cotton candy.

His heart reaches out for you from his ribcages as the homesickness glistered in your irises. You weren't obliged to talk to him, to give him company but you still did beacuse beautiful accidents and coincidence happen in the admist of rushed streets.

Harry parted his lips to talk to you more but he has nothing, his life's not unknown by anyone and the normal scenarios of people entertains him so much.

His head snaps when you grin widely at him throwing the last and best of cone inside your mouth. Your small pretty mouth chewing like a rabbit and Harry wants to have a touch, just some to shush the fire in his stomach.

His head snapping when you yelled to children that were skipping on rope waving to them, "hey kiddos! Wanna have some ice-cream!?" They all left their play of galloping running towards you. Harry looks at you wide eyes eating his last bits away.

"Our hotel gave us a coupon for free ice-creams." You laugh standing up and he wants to catch you by wrist to stop you going away from him but when you squeeze his shoulder leaning to whisper in his ear chills ran down by his spine, "will be right back." He swallows thickly nodding eyes trailing to you as you collects all the little fellas to cart.

He watches you. Is she an Angel? A mirage to help him out of his anxiousness? Or a smoke in his mind that'll disappear soon? He thinks picking on his nails. He's not ready to step out of the calm bubble you created so delicately around him. Only if life could be this easier.

He rolls his eyes playfully sucking his lips inside his mouth when he sees you paying extra for more. He looks back to his body-guard. Maybe you didn't noticed him or cares less but Harry's kinda annoyed that he has to be here in such a happy vulnerable moment of his life.

"Thank you nice lady!" Harry chuckles gleefully when all of the kids thanked her licking onto their sweets. "It's okay kids, be careful before I take them back."

Shaking your head you strides back to Harry coming to stand infront of him. You can fit perfectly between his legs if he opened them wider for you, that desireful thought swooshed through his mind but he shakes it away.

"Thank ye' nice lady." He squeaks in high teasing pitch standing up and your eyes widened when he literally towered you fully. Your height differences funny even you're in heels.

"Not you now." You declared with blushed cheeks. His irirses glinted when you fumbled with the sides of your dress.

"So...this's it?" You ask him peering up at him with such gooeness he could whimper. Shivers running down your body as the weather turned rather more chill.

"This's it.." Harry whispers. He feels what? a lump of wetness in his throat? He's at the brink though.

"Thank you for bearing my monkey ass." You guffawed out but he has serenity in his eyes. He thins his lips. "I should be the one to say thanks."

He was taken aback when you hugged him running soothing circles at his back. He inhales your tangerine vanilla scent embracing you fully now. If he could freeze the time he would in a snap. He feels like he's all the way back home after travelling shallow through the whole world.

"It's gonna be alright, whatever it's Harry. It'll be alright. You're gonna be alright. It gets bumpy but you still have so much for you." Harry wants to cry in some strangers arms. He feels so defeated and tired. But, the determination and affirmation in your voice made him think opposite. He'll do it. He can do it.

He didn't let you go first. You untageled yourself from him gently swaying on your feet, taking a step back and he couldn't blink his eyes away from you as you bit your crimson lip.

You take steps away from him eyes still locked to his jade ones and he calls you out through the breeze looking for passing by cars if possible because you're standing in the middle of street.

"Hey, stranger!!!" You tilt your chin in a questioning and shake your head at his lopsided cheshire smile, "forgot t' tell ye'r name!" He yells out in rushed anticipation and anxiousness as if he'd loose you if any minute ticks by.

Goosebumps appears at your bare legs from the chill, "Y/N. Y/L/N." Then you spin around raising your hand high atop your head waving it for Harry.

"Ba-bye. Harry." You says loudly but it doom vacuumed to emptiness once you step inside your hotel's lobby leaving Harry at his own sake again.

Standing still at his spot. Hands shoved into his trouser's pocket and long spiral curls framing his sculpted features he watches you with a furrow of his brows from the glass of hotel. His frown getting deeper when you threw your head back laughing when you bumped into your friend who was coming to find you, you caught his wrist eyes widening at something funny he said and Harry sighs thinking maybe you're just this kind and generous and that he's not a special case in your book.

With an exhausted sigh he makes his way towards his bodyguard who gives him a side mishevious eye, "happy now, Styles?" Harry jabs a shove to his bulky shoulder playfully lips twitching and eyes narrowing, "oh shut up!" His mood more lightened and gleeful than his previous one thanks to you.

***

Next day when Kendall and her friend dragged Harry to fancy the local streets of Milan. Harry had a less scowling face than before. They stopped infront of some shop to buy bagels that someone bumped right square into Harry's back making him stumble a little.

It's you. Rushing out of a pharmacy. Harry's gaze trails from your toe to head and his lips parts in surprise. The whole past night in his lonely hotel bedroom you were his dream of heart and the stubborn thought of his mind while the thump of after party going downstairs kept him occupied and fainted the erratic pace of his heart. Then his brows kink in worry and concern at the grueling sight of you.

You're in a pink sweater and pyjamas. Eyes glassy. Cheeks flushed and blazing. Nose running and hair poking out in every direction. He takes a gentle step towards your astonished figure brewing fingers reaching out to hold you but when you keeps a distance from him his heart falls in his arse, and when you cough in your elbow he realizes that you're maybe cold or having a fever.

"You okay, love?" He asks you. Voice that of honey and panic dripping from his features. You gives him a big smile bobbing your head quickly and he have an urgency not to roll his eyes at you. Because you don't seem okay from any angle!

"'M just having a tiny cold it's not that worrisome." Harry's eyes pops out from his socket at your voice. It's groggy and hoarse not that sweet warm honey that was fusing in his ears last night. "Y/N. You can barely speak, are you sure you're okay?" You try to give him a small smile at his care but it got suppressed by another throat tearing cough. Poor little thing. Harry fawns looking down at you.

At this he abruptly saturates the distance between you two, "note me' number, darlin'. Promise me you'd call me if you feel too sick." You give a glance to his two friends coming by to stand beside him.

"Hi." You greet them in hoarseness and they wince when you forward your hand for a shake making you feel ashamed and embarrassed of your politeness when they didn't accepted it. Harry jaw ticks in furiousness as he glares them it's all adding up to push his nerves now.

He takes your shivering hand with an arch of his brow to his friends in challenging sterness noting down his phone number at your palm. You give him a soft "okie." and a "thank you." waving him and his friends a good-bye. He notices that you're not someone to hold grudges against someone. He knows that Kendall's behaviour throws people off but you didn't seem to mind it too much.

"Who was she Harry?" Kendall asks him chewing onto her bagel. Harry shrugs not keen to spill any precise details, "someone I met last night."

She tries to scrape more from him. "How?" Harry closes his eyes tugging at his roots not ready to snap at her.

Harry thinks many times to say the right words so that she'd shut up but still ends up saying something that infuriated her ego and mock, "she offered me ice-cream—" Her friend scoffs perking his head.

"Mate you're nuts for accepting something from a stranger." Logically yes. But you meant no harm to him. Your eyes were truthful and shined with sincerity.

Harry stays silent walking inside their hotel. The hostess asks them if they'd like to have a brunch.

On the other hand you climbed up the stairs to your room with a lazy gait. Your lungs burning. Once inside your room. You takes your medicine with a shivering body and minus energy to even raise your finger. You want to cry but you give a pep talk to yourself that you're a brave girl squishing yourself in your bed, hiding under three blankets.

There's bright sun outside but still you're feeling like someone placed you atop Antarctica's glacier snatching every clothing item from you. Your friends are all out and you wish you could have them. You hate being sick and alone.

When you woke up again. You felt horrible. Feeling like a truck crushed you underneath itself. When you tried to sit up, you fell back a reckless painful sob erupting from your lungs as with wavering fingers you massaged your sweaty forehead. The sheets under you drenched into sweat and hotness. Panic rising in your chest as your vision blurred with blackness so you dialed Harry's number immediately in the fear someone should be with you in case you faint.

"He—" He was cut off with your loud crying. The fork in his hand clanking against the sleek plate gaining everyone's attention. "'S okay. 'M comin'. I'll be there in no time love." He speaks hastily telling his bodyguard not to follow him with a gesture of his hand while striding to his car in big steps.

"Y/N. Darlin'? Yeh' there?" He asks you with his chest tightening with anxiety when the other end of line was dead as grave, "'m, i'm." Your breath spurts into coughs and Harry sighs sympathetically at your condition. It took him fifteen minutes to reach your hotel.

"Which room?" None of you noticed that the phone was still on line. You were half conscious cheeks soaked and smashed into silk pillow case. "Room number, sweets?" He asks you patiently running through different floors to take care of you as soon as possible.

"2-234.." You stutter. Harry halts in the middle of corridor snapping his head everywhere your room was three rooms away from him.

"Can yeh' stand up for me and unlock the door for meh? Can yeh do that sweet girl?" Harry's standing at your door and your sob muffles into your arm when you shake your head in denial. Luckily the door was unlocked.

"Stupid girl." Harry mutters under his breath pressing the red button when he finally tumbles inside your room. He wants to scold you for not caring for your safety when you're sick, fragile and barely able to stand up.

His heart grips into a knot when you turn to your side. The girl he was with last night long gone. Your lips blue and wobbling. Cheeks red and wet. Sweat sheening. Your body shaking. You could be barely seen from under the layers of blankets.

"Oh sweet girl. 'm so sorry." The mattress dips under his weight and he hovers over you taking you in his arms instantly. Squeezing you tight and warm, it feels good so you cuddles your face into the crook of his neck. He gasps when his hand glides down your back and finds it pooling with so much sweat, and you burning like sun outside.

"You're burnin' love." He says with wide eyes cautiously smoothing his hand at your back to make you feel better.

"It hurts, Harry." Harry pulls you from your shoulders rolling his thumb in the dips to massage them, "where?" Your chest rumbles with another whimper as you bolt your eyes shut.

"Everywhere."

He inquires further and you give a drowsy moan when he expertly massages your shoulders and arms, "did you take your medicine?" You nod at this head falling against his chest and if he wouldn't be so worried about your condition his tummy would've flipped so hard.

"And did yeh' ate somethin' befo' that?" When you shake your head in rejection he again pulls you back looking down at you in offend and shock.

"Y/N..." He warns you with a tough expression. Then he cups your cheeks making you look at him even though your eyes are closed he scolds you strictly, "Y/N you should be kind to yourself too."

"Now. 'M gonna take ye' to hospital." He announces and you squirm away from his grip shaking your head like a child. You hate hospitals.

"Y/N..don't be difficult darlin'." Only if he knew he has to deal with this his whole life. As you try to speak your words swallows back when he snakes his arms under your armpits making you stand up.

"No buts. Look at ye'. Yer condition will worsen if yeh' keep refusin' to go." With your whole weight over his side he makes you sit in the passenger seat, stroking your cheek with his knuckles giving you a reassuring smile and rounding to his driver side.

He keeps on checking you through the whole drive. You're still high on fever when he places his palm at the curve of your neck then at your forehead tsking when you moaned in pain, "'s gonna be alright." He rubs your knee trying to give you a smile through his own anxiousness.

They checks you in the ER. The doctor notes your symptoms on his notepad and Harry gazes you in full concentration sitting right beside you, he has your fingers laced with his's and he's continuously rubbing your back to provide you with any warmth.

"I've a very low immune system since I had a tonsillectomy when I was nine. Had an ice-cream last night and quite often I know I get sick in this season." You toy with his silver rings carelessly. Harry admires you. Dunno why. He just do. Because he thinks he might be falling for the way you talk, you behave and try to remain polite in every circumstances.

"Miss Y/N since you've your tonsils removed your coping mechanism from bacteias's less and you've caught a pneumonia." Your head immediately turns to look at Harry and when he sees that fear in your eyes he unwinds his hand from yours leaning to take your chin, "hey...hey lovie'. It's okay you'll heal in a week."

The doctor hands the prescription to Harry. The next thing he announces makes you sob like a five years old, "no. no. no." You shake your head shrinking back and Harry gives the doctor a sheepish akward smile stroking your hair.

Doctor sighs at your behaviour leaving at last, "the nurse will be here soon to give you injections."

Harry quickly stands up shutting the large curtain that's around the stretcher bed you both are sitting at as soon as he comes back you wrap your hands around his forearm. He hisses when you dig your nails to his flesh your tears dropping at his wrists.

"I don't like needles. I loathe them. They scare me." You sniffle and Harry ducks to your level metting your glossy gaze. He caress your head kissing your hair, "you're so brave. I know it. It would just be a pinch. Ye' can squeeze the fuck outta my hand if yeh want to." He has his fingers tucked under your earlobes as he again and again wipes your tears.

The nurse comes to you shutting the curtains behind her. She's old lady in age and observes the couple infront of her. Well, for her you both are looking like one.

You immediately move back to Harry's side as he's sitting now with his front infront of you, "scared of needles." Harry tells her timidly in a low voice puffing his cheeks a bit in gentility.

Harry saps his opal teeth into his lower lip when you wrapped your elbow around the nape of his neck bringing him down closer to you and your face shoved to his chest near his armpit. His other arm wrapping around your waist to flush you closer to him. He tries to drift your attention to himself whispering sweet nothings into your ear and the nurse awes applying alcohol where she has to inject the needle.

"'S okay. We're gonna get home after this, have some soup, will take a nap, watch some telly...." He smoothes his hand over your spine grasping it softly. You stiff in his genial hold twitching and hissing loudly when the needle was poked and pushed into your delicate skin. His white shirt's completely soaked into your tears now but he doesn't give two fucks.

"Just two more." The nurse mutters and you perk your head away from Harry's chest looking at her horrified, "two more!?" You squeak out hiccuping and Harry has to suppress his giggle at your expense from how adorable you look.

He again shoves your head back in his armpit muffling your huffing and tantrums. "Don't move darlin' don't wanna get yeh' hurt." His hold tight and firm.

"Hurts." You pout and Harry traces it stopping himself to just lean down and kiss it. Nurse left you guys to yourself and Harry breaths loudly grinning at you, patting his thighs standing up helping you too.

"Thank you, Harry." You crane your neck to see him properly rubbing your nose once Harry makes sure you're sitting in his car comfortably.

"No problem, love." He kisses your cheek making your lips quirk up for the first time.

***

You're sitting crossed legs on the twin sized bed of your hotel room. Harry takes a quick glance of you pouring soup into some bowl. Your temperature a little bit coming back to normal, sweat still there as you rests your head back at the board of bed. You're room's nothing sort of luxurious it's dinky and compact.

"Here love." Harry hands you the soup making sure to be careful that you don't get burnt and you takes it from him with a series of appreciation.

"Feelin' better now?" He asks you rubbing your ankles as you places your feet in his lap. Blowing onto your soup and he does the same shoving spoonful in his mouth.

"Way better. Felt like dying honestly." Harry couldn't imagine how bad your condition was he saw it himself and he gives you a weak smile, his man-bun getting loose now.

"Where are your friends? they should have known that you weren't feeling well."

"They asked me but—" Harry's low voice cut you off. In just a day he got to know what your nature's like.

"But you didn't wanted to spoil their fun." You roll your eyes playfully wiggling your toes in his lap to tickle his tummy but he catches them making you squeal through sore throat.

He giggles when you slurp purposedly attaching your lips to the rim of your bowl. Once you're full he places your medicine in your palm and when you makes an icky face he gives you a stern gaze, "uh-huh. Take 'em."

When you swallow the bitter medicines down with a huge gulp of water he pats your head, "good girl." He puts the glass at nightstand. Caressing your jaw, "wanna take a nap?" You nod.

"W-would you lay down with me, ...'s just my body aches and—" You tried to explain without letting heat to creep at your cheeks. He bobs his head furiously more than okay to fulfil your wish.

Without any word he shifts gently to your side getting rid of the hair band that was trapping his long curls into a bun, squeezing into twin sized bed with you, "sorry." he quips when you hiss at his cold bare feet touching your warm ones.

"It's okay." You smile up at him moving closer to him. Sheets rustling underneath as you rests your head over his sprawled forearm. Your bodies reacting automatically like one of soulmates when your knee nudged his legs and he parted them so that you could place your sore one in between them. You molded into him like a piece of puzzle, that was just meant to fill the part of him that was scraped out because of his fate leaving him shallow and empty.

"Sorry for ruining your day." You mumble into his neck fingers brushing the baby curls at the nape of his neck. He shakes his head running his thumb in circles under your hair that were sticking to your neck, "No, thank you fo' makin' my day better. 'M havin' fun babying you." You titters at this and he sighs. There's calm. Heart beats in sync. Yours was racing moments ago. You're tangled into eachother's embrace and he pulls thin blanket ontop of both of you.

You purr wishing he could be always with you at how he's a walking talking heater, "you're warm." Harry senses come to a pause at the kitten voice you just let out snuggling into him deeper and exhaling the breath he was holding in. He melts into you kissing your forehead and petting your cheeks.

"Sleep sweet girl." His breathing lulls you to deep slumber.

***

It's late in night. Harry squints his eyes to street lights coming from the balcony window. He groans and when pushes his face away from you, a huge lovesick smile dances at his lips. He slept so good after so long. Your warmth and sweet flesh pressed into him made him drift to sleep so quick.

He brushes your loose hair back, adorning every feature of you. Fever making you look more glowy and swelly. Then when he leans to kiss your forehead he hears the quite whimper escaping from your lips.

He places his hand at your neck to check and you're again burning. Sighing he wakes you up by smoothing his hands down your arm, stroking your hair gently and tapping your cheek with his two fingers.

You're murmuring weepily in your sleep. "Wake up y/n. It's time for your second dose." He keeps his voice slow not to startle you and your eyelids fluttered taking it's time to absorb his presence.

You shift back against the headrest. He brings the glass closer to your lips after giving you medicine. One hand on your head other making you sip water.

"W-wanna go home. Home Harry." You say in your breaths hiccuping and Harry feels so helpless. He tries to calm you down in every way possible.

He knows you're not talking about going back to London. Your talking about your actual homeplace. Then it hits him, that you're both missing that feeling. Even though you're bubbly, happy and cheerful girl you still miss home as Harry does too. You're perfect for eachother.

He takes you in his arms bringing you back to bed. You hug him close to your heart tearing in his embrace, soft whimpers in his ears that's a knife to his stomach. He pecks the side of your head multiple times.

"Home." You sniff eyes dropping. Harry messages your scalp. Your body moving up and down as he breaths. Your continuous blabbering of 'home' dulls to your sleeping breath and Harry's own eyes craved for more drowsiness with you.

He bolts his eyes shut when his phone vibrates under him. "What!?" He spats whisper yelling, you still over him. He doesn't want to disturb you by any means. Not when you're sick and went back to sleep with so much difficulty.

"'M not coming." He declares dryly as his manager tries his best to coax him back to whatever place they want him asap.

He throws his phone onto sheets cuddling back into you, letting your scent to consume him fully. His heart prancing at the thought of serenity he'll feel while sleeping else it's just jolts of anxiety.

***

Next morning your arms were holding onto nothing, there's no shoulder on which you were crying earlier. The room's dull and sheets cold. Sun refused to outshine for today it didn't got any emarld to beam at.

"Harry...?" You whisper innocently rubbing sleepiness from your eyes and when the silence laughed back at your face you sigh sadly.

You knew from the very start that his presence was just a mere touch of heaven and it's not his fault that you never got to complete dive into him.

It's just you and your homesick soul staring blankly at the flower wallpaper. His soft, giddy vanilla smell hugging you from every side. Consuming your body and you didn't realized you'll miss him until now.

Maybe, you and your love was contagious to him.

.

𝐈𝐭'𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐞𝐧𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐰𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐛𝐞 a 𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝐭𝐰𝐨 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐥𝐲 𝐩𝐞𝐨𝐩𝐥𝐞!!! Don't forget to give your feedbacks.

#harry style imagines #harry fanfic #harry angst #solo harry #harry x y/n #harry x reader #cute harry #harry styles fluff #harry styles blurb #harrystyles smut #dirty oneshots #harry smut #romantic harry #dadharrynation #dad harry styles #harry dirty #hsh #harry styles fanfiction #harry harry solo #harry styles #fluff #harry styles smut #harry fluff #young and beautiful #dark academic aesthetic #harry alternative universe

[cyberfairyblog]

Miss-Adventures in Odyssey: Love is on the ground Pt.1

Summary: Tired of waiting for Vanessa and Jason to confess their feelings, Connie and a couple of friend set up a surprise date. What should be a dreamy affair turns into a nightmare when an old face from Jason's spy days shows up for revenge!

Note: I wrote everything as if it is a script of a real episode. Warning for future violence and child endangerment this is after all Adventures in Odyssey. Darla, Briana, Gia, Regina and Vanessa belong to me.

Setting: Triple J's Antiques: through a len's view outside the closed store we see a tall dark haired man JASON WHITTAKER cleaning up. He does not notice the pair of binoculars from a dark vehicle. The driver continues to observe JASON as he cuts the lights off and walks outside to lock the door.

The figure: You thought you could escape, well this game of hide and seek is not over just yet my friend~(chuckles devilishly before driving off)

JASON (notices the car driving real fast): Huh? They're in such a hurry (shakes his head in bemusement before walking home whistling a happy little tune)

The figure (on the phone): Boss you would not believe who I just saw!

We cut to a dark office of sorts filled with stolen artifacts and a book with a scarlet scorpion stamped on the cover.

The Boss: Ah. So he thought he was safe. Looks like our game of hide and seek has got a lot more interesting. You keep watch and don't let him out if your sights.

The Driver: Got it

The convo ends. THE BOSS puts out his cuban cigar and leans back in his chair.

The Boss: You have no idea how lucky you are Agent 1131 to face me one last time

He lets out a low cynical laugh,rears his hand back and hurls a knife at a picture of JASON glued to the other wall. The blade hitting right at the nose.

- INTRO STARTS - ADVENTURES IN ODYSSEY 2000's THEME PLAYS -

After the intro we go to beautiful ivory estate known as Whit's End, and into its ice cream parlor. A Black woman wearing blue shirt and jeans, VANESSA MARBLES, is sitting on the counter while JASON is doing the dishes

Vanessa: And then we went to the butterfly room and there were these gorgeous, almost like out of a fairytale, just the most beautiful butterflies you ever seen! Poor TJ cried when one landed on his nose.

Jason: I bet that one makes a nice photo for the album

Vanessa: Oh of course (takes out her phone and shows him gallery of that day)

Vanessa: I might run by the studio later on and print them out.

Jason: You know when I went to the Amazon some years back I saw a whole colony of rare butterflies, animals, and ants, and snakes. And wasps (shudders)

Vanessa: I wish I could to the The Amazon. If I had the money of course.

Jason: Oh the Amazon are amazing once you get past the humidity and mosquitos. Just absolutely gorgeous!

As they continue to converse we see CONNIE KENDALL, GIA TSOUKALOS AND REGINA BLACKGAARD sitting at a nearby table watching them with interest.

Connie: Guys I don't know if it's just me or have they gotten a little close to each other lately?

Gia: What do you mean?

Connie: They hang out almost every day and Vanessa's a lot more open with him. And the googly eyes, the held gaze, the sigh they both let out everytime they walk away from each other? (gasps) I think they're in love!

Regina: Come on Red many people do that over a simple crush. They can't be that into each other.

Connie: I've been in enough of these situations to know when a person truly fall in love. Just ask Eugene!

The women continue to sneak glances at VANESSA AND JASON, witnessing Vanessa rest her head on her face in a lovestruck expression while Jason had his back turned

Connie: I know that look! She needs our help!

Regina: Our?

Connie (nods): Yep! This looks like a job for Cupid!

Gia: Valentine's not for a month and already you playing matchmaker (shakes her head with a tsk) this is going to be chaos (takes a sip) i love chaos!

Regina: We should let them figure it out on their own. It worked for me and Summer.

Connie: At the rate they're going right now they'll never figure it out!

Later that day, we see several children sitting in the parlor after school. Two BLACK girls - DARLA SINGLETON and her best friend BRIANA WINFREY - were with Vanessa at the Estate's studio for art class.

Vanessa: And that's how I draw faces! See!

Darla: Wow that's so cool! I wish I could draw like that!

Vanessa (grinning): You can in no time with some practice of course. Now let's try it out for yourselves and don't worry about mistakes.

Darla and Briana: OK!

As they start to draw Briana notices something odd about Vanessa's sketch.

Briana: That's a nice drawing and all Miss Marbles but why does he look like Mr Jason?

Vanessa (flustered): Oh well *studders* he's my muse!

Briana: A moose? We don't have any moose around here. Do we?

Vanessa: No a muse. They're like a model, someone who you can look for inspiration to create works of art!

Briana: Gotcha!

The girls continue drawing; JASON comes by and VANESSA quickly hides her sketch.

Vanessa: Jason I thought you went out of town with your Dad?

Jason: Wow nice drawings girls! I should put them up for customers to see.

Darla: Thanks Mr. Whittaker! I know I'd want everyone to see my pictures (grins confidently)

Vanessa: Oh let me help you with that (turns to her students) y'all keep drawing while I help him. It'll be a few minutes.

The girls nod and Vanessa gets up and leaves with Jason. As soon as they're out of the room the girls begin to talk.

Briana (whispering): Do you think she and Mr. Whittaker like each other? I be seein' my parents make those kinda of faces all the time and they got me kinda thinking

Darla: I dunno. If they are then it's like my mama says it's nunya business.

Briana: What if they're married and we don't know?

Darla: Come on that's ridiculous besides I don't see no ring!

Vanessa (walks over with hands clasped): Alright loves, it looks about time to end today's session. We'll finish up the next time.

Briana: Thank you for teaching us again Miss Marbles! Goodnight!

Darla: Bye!

Briana and Darla wave goodbyes and leave out the studio. As they do they pass by an eerily familiar car.

The driver: I think this is his house. A lot of people come here. We might have to catch him when he's alone we don't want any witnesses.

After class BRIANA & DARLA catch up with Connie

Briana: Our teacher's been acting kind of weird lately

Connie: Oh?

Darla: Yeah she keeps drawing Mr. Jason. I think she's lost it

Connie: Well sometimes adults have crushes on other adults. It's perfectly normal

Briana: I know! We can set up a date for them

Darla: Briana we don't even have boyfriends how we know about dating?

Briana: Easy!

BRIANA takes out her phone and looks up dating tips on Bing.

Connie: Briana your a genius! We can set up a blind date for them.

Briana: You can have it at my parents' restaurant! Couples go there all the time!

Darla ponders for a moment

Darla: How much we getting?

Connie: (blinks) What?

Darla: I'm not going through all that trouble for free. If things go wrong I want compensation

Connie: Okay (grumbles) five dollars!

Darla: Only five?

Connie: Six dollars and fifty cents! And free soda and ice cream on the house!

Darla (smiles sweetly): I'll consider it

Briana: WE'LL DO IT! Miss Marbles done so much for us it's time we return the favor!

After BRIANA and DARLA'S departure, Connie and Vanessa are talking about their plans for the weekend.

Vanessa: I don't have much to do this Friday. Probably catch up on my art. It does gets pretty lonely being the only one at the studio

Connie: Fear no more! Vanessa: hm?

Connie: I've set you up on a date

Vanessa (stammers): A-a date???

Connie: See I have a friend who has the same problem. Maybe you and him might find something in common

Vanessa: Who is this friend?

Connie: A surprise!

Vanessa: Connie I- I don't know. I never dated anyone before.

Connie embraces Vanessa comfortingly.

Connie: Don't you worry I'll make sure everything works out between you two. We have the whole week to prepare!

Over the course of a montage we see Vanessa getting things ready; Vanessa looks at her mirror practicing how to look confident. But she is very afraid. Finally it is Friday, the day of the date. An hour before, Connie is in the MARBLES kitchen helping with makeup.

Vanessa: What if it doesn't work out?

Connie: Don't worry there's plenty of other fish in the sea! But just to be on safe side (she hands VANESSA a can of mace)

Connie: And WALLAH! And your all set for a magical night!

Vanessa: Thank you Connie. I'm just so nervous about tonight. I keep praying and wishing but I'm still not so sure.

Connie: Don't worry it'll work out fine. And remember if it don't?

Coincidentally Jason is also getting ready for a date of his own. He is getting ready and had just finished tying his bow tie when his father MR WHITTAKER appears

Whit: I hope you don't mind me interrupting but I think you'd need this

Jason: What is it?

Whit: Something I wore when you and your mother were dating.

Jason opens the box to see a bejeweled brooch.

Jason: Whoa this things gotta be worth a ton!

Mr. Whittaker: I knew you'd like it. It's been in our family for generations.

Jason (sighs): Do you think this night might lead to something else?

Mr. Whittaker: I don't know. That's gonna be up in God's hand. But even if it doesn't at least you'll have fun.

Jason: Thanks dad. I just don't want it to end up like last time

Whit: I understand. But life is too short to hold on to heartbreak. We can learn from it.

Connie: Alright she's coming in now. Is he already there

Jason smiles and he and his father leaves. Soon Jason is driving off but as he does another car - eerily the same from earlier - follows him. Connie drives Vanessa to WINFREY'S WINNERS - a restaurant owned by the Winfrey family. VANESSA walks up the steps she stops to inhale deeply as she tries to quell the butterflies in her stomach. She looks back and see Connie putting a thumb's up. Vanessa msuters a smile and walks inside. Connie takes out a walkie talkie and contacts Darla.

Darla: Yep. Briana it's showtime!

JASON is sitting at a table reserved for the night. He is dolled up in a crisp white blouse and black slacks, hair slicked back with gel. BRIANA pops up besides him in waiter's garb

Briana (beaming): Good evening sir!

Jason (surprised): Briana? What are you doing here?

Briana: I'll be serving you tonight (lowers her voice) and also because i work here (coughs) Anyways! Here's your menu while you wait for that special someone

BRIANA winks at him then scurries off to the kitchen leaving the man confounded. He shrugs and starts reading the menu. That's when Vanessa shows up in a flustered state.

Vanessa: I'm sorry I'm late O was trying to look for table number

Her voice trails off. Jason stops reading to stare at the gorgeous woman. Surprised that she was his coworker.

Jason (in shock): Vanessa???

Vanessa (squints then widens eyes): Jason??

The two stare at each other for a bit. Unknown to them another patron sitting nearby was the same man who had watched JASON from earlier that week. He has heard JASON'S name and looked over. Who was that woman? His wife? Girlfriend? That made things more complicated. Then a little evil idea formed in his head.

#adventures in odyssey #selfship #jason whittaker #fanfiction #love is on the ground #aio #si x canon #odysseymysteryhour #odyssey fanfic

[ceruleanmusings]

First and Foremost

Fandom: Big Time Rush Pairing: James Diamond x Mickey Mason (OC) Word Count: 5.7k Summary: Mickey goes to cheer James up after a brutal verbal beating by Gustavo. Contents: mild flirting, teasing, show-standard humor, sadness Tag: @mystic-scripture​ @foxesandmagic​ @witchofinterest​ @perhapspearl​ @raging-violets​ @lareiism​ @ocfairygodmother​ @ocappreciationtag​

The bright orange vinyl began sticking to his cheek, trapping his heavy sighs against his warm skin but James didn’t care. Why should he care? It wasn’t as if he had a modeling gig to run off to so the inevitable red line pressing into his cheek could stay. It wasn’t as if he had an acting gig to prepare for so he could continue to lay flopped on the couch, feet dangling off the edge, wrinkling his clothes. It wasn’t as if he had a solo moment in a song to rehearse for so he could let his throat roll an agonized vocalization around in his chest.

He'd left Rocque Records hours ago and yet he still heard Gustavo’s shouts echoing in his head: “Stop smiling like that, I hate it!”, “A garbage disposal has better timing than you!”, “I could replace you with a mop and it wouldn’t make any difference!”, and his favorite, “Okay, do it again, but this time, SING ACTUAL NOTES!”

Clearly, Gustavo was wrong. …He had way better hair than a mop so, actually, it would make a difference!

James uttered another body wrenching sigh.

It just wasn’t fair. He spent so much time rehearsing, getting his vocals warmed up, loosening his muscles to better execute dance moves. He put his all into being a pop star! Okay, sometimes he could get distracted by the lights and the glitz and glamor but who wouldn’t? Pretty people wanted to dress him, sculpt his hair, perfect his image (not that they had to do much on that front), have them joint their ranks, put him in the spotlight where he belonged. Why was it a bad thing? When it came down to it, he wanted this. He always wanted this!

Kendall, Carlos, and Logan didn’t get it. He loved his buds, but that didn’t mean he didn’t see their eye rolls, hear their scoffs, or feel their dismissive aside glances when he talked about a potential modelling job or how he was, in fact, the best person to lead a song (or sing the whole thing, why split hairs?), or when he shared his dream of buying a house to turn it into a personal salon/display museum for his bandanas. (It makes sense to keep it all in one place!)

All he was trying to do was make his dreams a reality. It wasn’t as if he was pushing his buds off a cliff to get there. It’d happen eventually. It was inevitable. (The recognition, not the cliff-pushing.) He had the face, he had the voice, he had the talent, he had the body, he had the face. He was born for this life. He was meant to be doing this!

But no one else seemed to notice.

Groaning, James turned onto his side, tucked his arm beneath his head and curled his knees up to his chest. If Katie were around, she’d point and laugh at him, maybe say he was being a big baby or some other phrase with big words he didn’t understand. Thankfully she, the guys, and Mama Knight were off at an LA Kings game. He’d been looking forward to the game for weeks but going didn’t appeal to him after the day he had. He’d taken enough hits to watch other people get tossed around like a ragdoll.

Sometime later he heard the distinct sound of someone climbing the stairs to get to the swirly slide entrance and yet he still didn’t move. Instead, he watched dust motes float and around the shafts of gold light seeping in through the blinds.

“Hey, it’s just me.” Ordinarily James would’ve jumped up at the sound of Mickey’s voice, double-checking his reflection in his lucky pocket mirror to ensure he was presentable and his muscles were at their peak. He couldn’t let her see him at anything other than his best. He was James Diamond! He didn’t do mediocre! This time, though, he stayed still, listening as she came down the swirly slide, the rubber on her docs tapping against the ground on her dismount. It was the only time she didn’t knock before entering. The door was always open, and people came and went as they pleased, but not Mickey. She made sure to knock every time. It was polite, she explained, looking at them all as if they’d been raised by wolves.

He mentally followed her footsteps—always with that cute little bounce to it—around the back of the couch heading to the island until she came into view. She dressed comfortably as always: dread locks pulled back into a half updo with gold rings and cuffs, her favorite cropped white *NSYNC hoodie depicting the image of their first album cover, dark skinny jeans, pale blue docs and a makeup-free face. She never wore makeup except for occasions where it called for it such as appearances, interviews, and photoshoots. James never thought she needed it.

“I’m just picking up my Tupp…er…ware…” He watched as Mickey’s eyebrows collided and she leaned to the side, peering at him as if she didn’t recognize him on the couch. He didn’t blame her; he was sure he wouldn’t recognize himself if he could see himself right now. “James? Are you okay?” she asked, taking a few steps closer, tucking a lock behind her ear.

James’ lips pushed out another sigh. “I’m sad,” he replied. No sense in hiding the obvious. His lower lip already dropped to a pout upon uttering the words and he couldn’t fight the wave washing over him, dragging his mood further (if that were possible).

Shoving her hands into the front of her pockets she approached. “’Cause of Gustavo?”

“Yeah.”

“And?”

He blinked. “That’s it.”

Her eyebrow arched. “No it’s not. I can see it all over your pretty face.” Sliding a hand out her pocket, she wiggled a pointed finger at him, motioning in circles around his face.

“Hmph. At least you think it’s pretty,” he mumbled.

She sat on the floor in front of the couch, turning her knees to the side, propping her elbow on the cushion and her cheek on her fist while turning to him. He looked back at her, taking in her freckle dotted nose. Her dark eyes squinted for a moment, mimicking the small pull to her mouth until they both relaxed. “What’s up? Besides the Gustavo part. I was wearing soundproof headphones while recording my bass lines today—I still heard him through it. And while that sucked, I know that’s not the only issue.”

“Maybe I just wanted to be alone.”

“James, you can’t go an elevator ride without needing someone to talk to.” Her mouth quirked in the corner, bolstering the tease to her words. He managed a small smile. “Speaking of which. Where are the guys?”

“They went to a Kings game.”

“Are you meeting them there?”

“I didn’t want to go.”

Her eyes widened, dark brown lighting to reflect her surprise. “You didn’t want to go to a King’s game?”

James twisted his mouth to the side, shrugging. It wasn’t that he didn’t want to go. Of course he wanted to go. Everything about hockey appealed to him: the crisp air filling his lungs, the crackling excitement plucking his energized nerves, the sharp snap of wood smacking against rubber, the scuffing of sharp blades on the ice, the cold adding a natural blush to his cheeks, the hot girls dressed in jerseys, the warm nacho cheese sliding down his throat, the way the bright lights lit him on his good side (both of them). But, even with the Kings and Ducks matchup, it wasn’t enough to get him off the couch.

“Well, what about hanging by the pool? It’s Golden Hour.” She reached out and poked his cheek. “Your favorite time of day.”

That was true. Nothing made his selfies better than the effect of a filter without actually having to use one. He thought about it for a second, shook his head, and sighed again. “I don’t feel like it.”

“Wow.” Her lashes fluttered due to her rapid blinking. A hum sounded behind her turned down mouth and she reached out, squeezing his knee. He felt a tug somewhere in the pit of his stomach at her touch, like a cork easing its way out of a bottle. “Do you want to talk about it?”

“No.” Silence. Then: “It just doesn’t make sense!” And it all came pouring out, the frustrations and grievances. Not just from that day but from the past year and a half, from the start of it all. How they didn’t want him, they wanted Kendall. How no matter how hard he tried it wasn’t good enough. How, even though he had the talent, and knew it in his bones, it didn’t match the “fire” they looked for. How he was dragged along to form a group in a business he’d always dreamed of being in. How he was constantly shuttled back and forth between his parents, passed along like a discarded accessory. How he was overlooked time and time again (which he still wasn’t even sure how that was possible with his height and face and style.) How he was dismissed and taken as being “dramatic” when he opted not to go to the Kings game.

It was that feeling, the want—or lack thereof—which kept him glued to the couch. It seemed everyone could direct it towards anyone and anything else but him. No one chose him. No one wanted him.

The entire time he spoke Mickey stayed quiet save for the occasional hums to accompany her head nods. By the end she offered up a clicking tsk and a welcomed, “Aww, dude, I’m sorry you had to deal with all that.” She looked at him and he looked right back, wondering for a minute if they were having some sort of staring contest until he got cross-eyed and had to blink. Her shoulders shook with a quiet laugh, lips curling upwards in the corners. Silence stretched between them. James’s eyes widened slightly, taking on a pointed look.

“Is that it?” James finally prompted.

“Is what it?”

“Is that all you have to say?”

“…Yeah.”

“You’re not going to tell me I’m being dramatic? You’re not going to give me some advice? You’re not going to give me some pep talk?”

Mickey snorted. “And what kind of advice could I give you? To just get over it?” James nodded rapidly. “You’re upset. Telling you to get over it won’t change that. Besides, I get it.”

“You do?”

“That feeling you have to work twice as hard just to get the recognition you feel you rightfully deserve only to be overlooked?” She let out a little bitter laugh, twisting the end of one of her dreads around her finger. “Yeah. I know that feeling a little too well; life made sure of it.” A second later her eyes widened and then squinted, as if seeing something in the distance. Her eyebrows furrowed and she clicked her tongue. In a flash, she got off the floor and James watched her make quick strides to the door, opening it with a flourish only to pull it shut behind her. He stared at the swinging jackets hanging off the key shaped holder, an incredulous expression popping onto his face.

“Well thanks for the talk, Mickey! I feel so much better!” James called out to the closed door. He rolled onto his back, unfurling his legs, staring up at the tall ceiling. Geeze, first Gustavo, then his buds, and now Mickey. He thought people cared about him but clearly he was wrong! Why did he even like her in the first place?

A knock sounded on the door. Uncurling himself, James sat up, head tilting in curiosity. A second later the door opened, and a sheepish Mickey stepped through it. “Forgot, I don’t need to knock for myself,” she muttered, rubbing her palms down the legs of her jeans.

Nevermind, she came back. He liked her again.

She drummed her fingers against her thighs and then headed for the kitchen. “I’m thirsty. Do you want a juice box?”

James’s head bobbed from side to side. Now that his chest didn’t feel as if it would cave in, it felt “Yeah, I could go for one.” She pulled one from the fridge and tossed it to him. He easily caught it with one hand as he swung his legs down from the couch, settling on the middle cushion facing the tv. He popped off the straw and stabbed it through the foil-covered hole on top. He didn’t pretend it was Gustavo’s face beneath the straw. Not at all. He took a long pull of the watermelon flavored drink and swallowed. It helped, but only a little.

He watched as Mickey closed the refrigerator and started opening and closing a few cabinets. She pulled a few bowls out of one and set them on the counter and then pulled open a few drawers, taking out measuring cups and spoons and knives.

“What are you doing?” he asked.

“Well, there’s really no point in bringing back Tupperware that’s empty is there?” She asked, eyebrows lifting. “It’s downright blasphemy.”

His stomach quivered at that. Food? She was making food? As much as a small part of him still wanted nachos from the Staples Center, he could trade it for whatever she made. If magic existed, she possessed it with how good her food turned out. Not that Mama Knight’s wasn’t a great cook herself, nothing beat her cheesy potato soup or Fishstick Fridays or her amazing snickerdoodles, Mickey just tended to make more on the dessert side. And while his body was a temple and he treated it right, sometimes the temple wanted a big fat slice of pie. To please the Gods. (Him, James was the God. No matter how much Logan disagreed, the peasant).

“What are you making? Can I have some?”

“It’s a surprise but sure. It’s gonna take me some time, though.”

James reeled in his pout and protest, as much as he hated having to wait history showed it tended to be worth it. Shifting off the couch, he opened the cabinet beneath the tv and looked at the array of DVDs staring back at him. He bypassed his usual go-tos—Die Hard, Bring it On, the Entourage series, Fast and Furious, Step Brothers, Zoolander, Marley & Me—stopping at the smaller cases on the end, holding white discs with Mama Knight’s handwriting scrawled over the surface depicting dates from a few years back. James shuffled through the cases as if they were a deck of cards, stopping on one he remembered from freshman year, near the end of the season.

The Meadowlark High Coyotes were 7-9; they needed to win at least four more games to make it to the playoffs before their season was cut short. They were down by three points at 4-6 against Willow Grove High’s Rams with ten minutes left. Kendall had been benched for fighting after getting his face smashed into the plexiglass on a breakaway (it was a cheap hit). Carlos was ejected for leaving goal to bum rush the player who executed the hit, trying to pants him. And Logan sat on the bench, his nose buried in his roster book, scribbling away, making notes for the coach to review after the game. That left him the lone wingman to turn the tide on a penalty shot and any scoring chance he obtained afterwards. Yes there was another wingman, but he may as well not have been on the ice with James taking the lead.

He popped it into the DVD player and fell back into the memory of the day, sank into the swell of cheers, the shrill whistles, the thudding beat of his heart in his ears, the rush as he glided over the ice, carrying the puck to the goal shot after shot after shot. And the chanting, oh the chanting, it may as well have been tattooed on his heart: Dia-mond, Dia-mond, Dia-mond! Only his stick slapping against the puck broke the cheering. Crack! Crack! Crack! James rushed the goal and sent the puck sailing through the air, nestling in the top right and left corners of the net, lighting the lamp. The crowd went wild. His team rushed the ice, lifting him up in the air as sirens and whistles went off.

James paused on the zoom on his face, the light in his eyes and the flush on his cheeks. Someone had yanked off his helmet so they could ruffle his sweaty hair, which still looked good compared to the others, thank you very much. (Helmet hair was not something he ever had to combat, he made sure of it.)

They won. They chose him and he won. When he was picked, they all succeeded. That was the point.

He scanned backwards, watching the play in reverse, pressed play, and watched their victory unfold. Again. And again. And again. Forward, back, forward, back. Shoot, score, repeat. Every watch brought back another shot of exhilaration, another round of satisfaction pulsing through his veins. Gustavo had drained that feeling right out of him.

“What’re you watching?” Mickey’s head hung next to his as she leaned over the back of the couch. “Is that you? Oh, you were all so teeny!”

James pouted. He wasn’t teeny. Yeah, he was a couple years younger than now and had a bit of a rounder face but all the days playing hockey he’d shed his childhood weight. And he’d hit his growth spurt, so he was already taller than the guys in their class. Despite the slight sting of the comment, he answered, “Freshman year hockey game. Against our rivals, the Rams.”

“Did you win?”

James scoffed. “Of course we did!” Big Time Rush didn’t lose. Once they all joined the team, they were a force to be reckoned with. “All thanks to me, even. Kendall and the guys were benched for ‘unsportsmanlike behavior’.” His finger quotes stabbed the air as he rolled his eyes.

“Why? What’d they do?”

“Watch.” Within a few seconds the scene unfolded again: Kendall on a breakaway, for all intents and purposes prime for a good shot. Then someone from the other team bashed into him, clearly committing a foul. Kendall bounced off the plexiglass as sharp whistles and booing jeers filled the air. Cheeks red, either due to the cold or anger, Kendall threw down his stick and gloves, whipped off his helmet, and charged for a Ram. He managed a hit on one before two Rams came up, grabbed him, threw him into the plexiglass again, and squished his face against it, dragging it from side to side. Mickey sucked a hissing breath in between her teeth, face scrunching up to a look of pain.

“That looked like it hurt.”

“Hurt worse when the guy wasn’t even called for it—the refs were from their town,” James explained at the look of disbelief crossing her face. “But I get the penalty shot and score more goals to clinch the win for us.”

“Bet that felt good.”

He shrugged. Good wasn’t the right word. Amazing wasn’t the right word. He didn’t think a word existed to properly encompass how that day felt. He paused the video and scanned it backwards again, his thumb hovering over the play button as his eyes took in their reflections on the tv screen. Namely how close she leaned to his head. Turning to her, he eyed her close-up profile. “If you wanted to kiss me, you could just say so,” James said with a flirtatious smile. Motioning to her with the remote he added, “You don’t have to come up with an excuse to get close.”

Her head tilted to the side, her studying him this time. “Would it make you feel better?”

He blinked. Uh…what? That wasn’t what she was supposed to say. That wasn’t how things went with them. He’d flirt, she’d rebuff him, he’d try again later. That’s how their friendship worked, among both agreeing blue was, in fact, a flavor (suck it, Logan!), her helping him with English homework while he helped her with vocal work, taking trips to the farmer’s market for fresh ingredients (her for her cooking, him for his organic, clean, homemade facial mask), and splitting the s’mores skillet at Fun Burger on his cheat day. Not that he didn’t like this turn of events, he wasn’t stupid. Okay, so he wasn’t the brightest bulb in the spotlight, but he wasn’t that stupid.

Still, he shook his head and pinched his arm to be sure this wasn’t some sort of dream, that she had, in fact, asked if kissing him would make him feel better. His fingers pressed into his skin and a pinch of pain shot up his arm. His eyes widened. He was definitely awake!

“Uh…sure?” He mentally admonished himself, hearing how unsure he sounded. Who talked like that? Not him, that’s for sure. He was much cooler than that. He cleared his throat, deepened his voice, turned his eyes to smolder, and said, “I mean, yeah. We could give it a shot.”

“Okay, close your eyes.”

He did as he was told, eyes slamming shut. James’ chest swelled and relaxed as he took in and let out a long breath. Not that he was nervous. He’d kissed plenty of girls before. Hell, once he’d kissed three girls in a half hour (thank you spin the bottle!) So this was nothing to worry about. No big deal. It’s just Mickey. Just the girl he’d been into for the past year. His palms sweating had nothing to do with it, that happened sometimes. Not a lot. Okay, never. Not when it came to kissing girls. So it had to be some sort of new medical condition he’d need to get looked at. Along with the shaking. And his heart thudding against his chest. He made a mental note to get that looked at too.

He felt her hovering in front of him, close enough for that strange sensation to itch and curl beneath his skin, anticipation cracking like a livewire. A strong swoop lurched in his stomach when she asked “Ready?”, so close he smelled something sweet on her breath. Vanilla? A lock of her hair brushed against the side of his face, sending a shot of something pleasant down his spine.

He nodded, swiping his tongue against his bottom lip. (Not too wet, not too dry. Couldn’t have her thinking his lips were like sandpaper.) Breath? He thought back. Last thing he ate were a few ants-on-a-log back at the studio. Peanut Butter wasn’t what he’d go with, but it would do in a pinch.

Okay. You’re James Diamond! You’re in a world-famous band! You have great hair! You have great style! You have great lips! They’re perfectly pouty and pink and fantastic. It’s just a kiss. You can do this. Annnd….go!

James leaned forward, pursing his lips. Something touched his lips. His eyebrows lowered. Huh, her lips were a lot colder than he’d imagined. Just as smooth, though. And a little…pointy? What? Before he could react, something gave way and shot between his teeth, heading to the back of his throat. He coughed, the object shooting forward, bouncing on his tongue.

His eyes popped open, granting him the sight of Mickey and her shit-eating grin. His tongue rolled the object around in his mouth, smooth on all sides except for one point. A rush of chocolate swarmed his taste buds. A Hersehey’s kiss. He blinked, staring up at her.

“Did the Earth move for ya, honey?” she asked sweetly, her soft southern accent igniting the teasing sparkle in her eyes.

“Very funny,” James grumbled, chewing the cold bit of chocolate into small pieces. It melted fast on his tongue. Pushing a hand through his hair, he flopped back against the couch, doing his best to avoid her gaze. But that smile, so bright and satisfied, drew him back in and he found his frown lifting upwards.

Still grinning, she dropped down on the couch next to him. He noticed the plate in her hands, the surface covered with an array of purple swirls and designs resting atop white sponge dotted with color.

Funfetti cupcakes. His favorite.

She was forgiven.

------

“She moves left, she moves right, she goes left again-oh! Fake out! She’s on a breakaway! There’s no one standing between her and the net! Will she make it?” With a lunge, Mickey slapped a pretzel rod against the Oreo in the middle of the table. James dropped to his knees, opening his mouth in time for the cookie to slide against the smooth surface, coast past his teeth, and land on his tongue. Goal! “She does! She scores! And the Missles are the table hockey champions of the world!” Throwing her arms into the air, Mickey danced a little victory jig, chomping the pretzel rod in her hand as if putting an exclamation point at the end of a sentence.

Chuckling, James chewed the Oreo. Ordinarily he would already be mentally preparing his routine at the gym the next day to counteract all the sugar he’d eaten but he could skip it for one day. Tossing his own pretzel rod onto the table—he wasn’t going to make an exception for sodium, not when bloat could set in—he stood, brushing any miniscule bit of dirt off his knees. “Why didn’t you go to the hockey game again?” he asked.

Mickey’s eyebrow arched and she waved her hand around the room, motioning to the table, the leftover cupcakes sitting on the kitchen counter, and Bring it On playing on the tv in the background “And miss out on all this fun?” She winked and took another bite of the pretzel rod. “Not a chance.”

James smiled, a rush of warmth spreading through him.

The door burst open; Carlos, Kendall, and Logan rushed in, hooting, and hollering, waving towels and hats in a flurry. Katie and Jennifer entered behind them, wearing identical expressions, half of amusement and half of wariness.

“Hey guys,” Mickey greeted them, walking around the table. “How was the game?” Her answer came as a wall of sound when Kendall, Carlos, and Logan screamed in her face. Blinking rapidly, she wiggled a finger in her ear as she leaned away from them. “That good, huh?”

“It was awesome!” Carlos shouted. “First the Ducks were in the lead and then the Kings caught up to them but then the Ducks were in the lead again! And during the ice cleanings Bailey and Wild Wing came out and got into a shootout. And then they played musical chairs which is silly, you know, because why would animals need to sit on chairs—ooh! Cupcakes!” Breaking off, he made a dashing dive for the kitchen counter.

“Those are mine!” James shouted, making Carlos freeze with a cupcake halfway to his mouth. A whimpering sound fell out of his mouth as he looked back and forth between James and the cupcake.

“Be nice, there’s enough for them to have one,” Mickey said, rubbing James’s arm. “Go ahead, Carlos.” She barely finished her sentence when Carlos stuffed it into his mouth, paper still attached.

“Dude.” Kendall bumped James on the arm with the back of his hand. “We had to keep Carlos from tackling Bailey the lion for thumping Wild Wing’s bill in the stands. Could’ve used you to hold him back.”

“Is that the only reason?” James asked.

Kendall scoffed. “Of course not! I had no one else to cringe with when they messed up the National Anthem. You weren’t there to list off every stat for the Kings or the Ducks—down to what conditioner they most likely used.” James pushed a laugh out of his nose. “After the game ended, they let us skate around for a bit. T’somethin’ I always dreamed about, skating one of the biggest NHL rinks. Wasn’t the same without my wingman there to catch my passes without fail.” He shoved his hands into his pockets. “We’re sorry we didn’t take your feelings seriously. Gustavo was rough on you today. We should’ve stayed with you, made sure you were okay.”

“You didn’t think I was being overdramatic?”

“Oh no, we totally did,” Kendall said, making James roll his eyes, “but halfway through the game I remembered that you get like that when it comes to things that are important to you. And it’s not fair for me, for us, to push that aside. So I’m sorry. We cool?” He extended his hand,

“We’re cool. You know I can’t stay mad at my bud,” James replied, clasping Kendall’s hand to pull him into a quick hug.

“And on that note, it’s time for me to go,” Mickey said, squeezing past them. Clutched in her hands were two Tupperware containers filled with cupcakes. “Are you feeling better?” Kendall’s eyes quickly ping-ponged between the two; he mumbled something about needing to polish his hockey puck and backed away.

James’ mind quickly scanned through a list of things he could say to keep her around a little longer. He came up with nothing. “I am, yeah,” James admitted. “Thanks for sticking around and keeping me company, Mickey.”

“Any time. If you ever want a rematch against the Missles, you know where to find me. We’ll be ready for you Diamondheads.” Leaning past James, she called out “see you, guys!” only to get distracted hand waves back from Kendall, Carlos, Logan, and Katie as they watched the game highlight on the news. She shrugged. “See ya, James,” she said, quickly tilting her fingers at him in a rippling wave.

He waved back, watching as she left the apartment. The door closed with a soft click. James turned on his heel only to stop in his tracks, noticing every pair of eyes in the room pointed on him. Eyebrows crinkling, his head tilted to the side. Usually he deserved attention, basked in it even, but he wasn’t sure what he did to get it this time. “What?” he finally asked.

“You were here with Mickey alone all afternoon,” Kendall said. “What happened?”

James shrugged, approaching the couch. “Nothing.”

“Nothing?”

“Nothing. We talked, watched some hockey, and messed around.”

“So you never hit on her?” Logan asked.

Kind of. “No, not really.” Hershey kiss substitutes didn’t count.

“Dude! This was your chance!” Carlos sprayed bits of uneaten cupcake out of his mouth as he shouted. Uttering a noise of disgust, Logan wiped the side of his face, shooting such a scathing look at Carlos it made him behind Katie. James laughed at the sight.

“Yeah, that’s not like you, James. Are you sure you’re feeling okay?” Kendall said.

“I’m feelin’ great, guys, really,” he assured them. “Gimmie another cupcake.” As he reached for the plate in Katie’s hand, he spotted something white under the pillow Kendall leaned against. He yanked it out with one strong pull. “Oh shoot,” he muttered. He got a series of asynchronous what?s answered him. “It’s Mickey’s sweatshirt. She forgot it.”

“Give it to her tomorrow. She’ll be at the studio,” Kendall pointed out.

James took in Kendall’s nonchalance with an incredulous shake of his head. He couldn’t do that. Well…he could but he couldn’t. Even if the built-in excuse for her to come back to the apartment was enticing, he wouldn’t feel right holding onto it. Not when he knew of her attachment to it, not just due to how soft and comfortable the sweatshirt was but to the band as well. When he thought about not having his Lucky Comb on him, even for a second, it sent shivers down his spine.

“No, I’ll just try and catch her at the elevator.” Clutching the sweatshirt tight in his hands, James dashed for the door. It barely opened far enough for him to fit through before he found himself out in the hall. He ran around a corner, nearly clipping it, slowing when he heard Mickeys’ voice.

“Thanks again for being so understanding. I know it was last minute…”

“Girl, it’s okay,” Jo said back. Hmm? James peered around the corner, spying Mickey and Jo standing in front of the elevator doors. She clutched a rolled-up script in her hand. “We can always go another day. It’s no big deal.”

“Thanks. James just looked so…defeated.” Mickey’s nose wrinkled. “It’s weird. I’ve never seen him like that before. I just…I didn’t want him to be alone.”

“I get it. I’m not going to be mad at you for being there for a friend,” Jo said, waving her hand in the air. “Buut…you’ll also be extra forgiven if I can have a cupcake.” Her eyebrows wiggled as she tapped a quick rhythm on the Tupperware lid.

Mickey laughed, popping the lid. “No problem.”

Jo eagerly dove for a cupcake, peeling the paper off halfway before taking a bite at the base of the treat. She brought a finger up to her mouth as she chewed, wiping away a stray smear of cream cheese frosting. “So…you must really like James to cancel going to that pie making class you’d been looking forward to for weeks.”

What!? James pressed his lips together, biting on them. The pulse of pain fell into sync with his rapid heartbeat. Jo’s lips curled in the corners and, beneath the hallway lighting, James swore he saw devil horns pop up on her head.

Mickey rolled her eyes. James squinted. Was that a blush on Mickey’s cheeks or a trick of the light? “Don’t even start with me, I gotta deal with all that at home.” The elevator dinged and the doors slid open. Mickey stepped backwards into the elevator, jabbing at a button with her elbow. “…And I don’t not like him. But don’t tell anyone that!”

Jo mimed zipping her lips. “Your secret’s safe with me.”

Swallowing the yelp fighting to shoot up his throat, James turned and headed back to 2J. He slipped into the apartment under the noise of aliens and troopers getting blown up in Biohazard 5 and Carlos’ jeers as he held his hand in front of Logan’s face.

“Did you catch her?” Kendall yelled over the noise, eyes glued to the tv.

“No, I missed her.” James made a beeline for the bedrooms, a soft smile sitting upon his lips. “I’ll see her tomorrow.”

#let me tell you i have a ball writing james' internal dialogue #james diamond #mickey mason #big time rush #big time rush oc #not beta read #my writings #mickames #first and foremost