#my father added water to it and he said it'd fix it but the light still displayed when we turned on the car | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

taenamseok · 5 years

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Small droplets ping against the metal bucket that sits in the middle of my living room, slowly filling it up. The landlord refuses to fix the leak in my roof, saying it'd be too expensive. I don't mind it though. Some may think my apartment isn't the greatest. The lack of insulation making it slightly difficult in the winter, but I'm not bothered. I keep many thick blankets in my house, so when it gets cold, I get to bundle up in them to stay warm. I also have a large window in my kitchen that faces the street. This is where I sit, watching the rain pour down outside, splashing on the pavement. Few people pass by, their colorful umbrellas adding beauty to the dull grey surroundings. I think of the water, how far it must've travelled just to fall onto my street. The rivers and oceans it must've flown through, the wonders it could've touched.

Life is beautiful

I carry my mother's frail body from the couch to her bed, empty bottles clinking as my foot bumps them. I've been doing this since I was fifteen. My father was gone before I was born, and my mother hadn't taken it well, drowning in alcohol. I've never once seen her sober. Through my childhood, I didn't even see her that much. She worked so many jobs to keep us alive, she was rarely home. Whenever she was home, she yelled at me or hit me whenever she looked at me, saying I looked too much like my father. I always hid in the closet with a flashlight, reading books that I got from the school library. My love of literature has only grown since. As I lay her down, she groans, rolling over to face me. "Namjoon..." she whispers. "You're such a disappointment." Those are her last words before she slips into a deep slumber. I kiss her on the cheek before I leave, stepping into the warm sunshine. Being able to walk out of there, no longer trapped in her clutches is the best feeling. I am free, able to do whatever I want.

Life is beautiful.

As I sit here, surrounded by my sobbing family members, I stare at the closed casket containing my grandfather. They lower it down into the ground, and my grandmother screams, sobbing into my uncle's chest. I've kept it together for so long, not letting go of my emotions. Her wails cause a single tear to roll down my cheek, her heartbreak causing my own pain. My grandfather was a great man. Out of all my family members, he was the only one that actually seemed like he cared about me. He would give me old books, read me to sleep whenever I went to their house because my mother got into trouble, he even taught me English to broden my horizons, being able to read more wonderful books. As the funeral ends, I walk through the graveyard, thinking back on fond memories. As I walk, I spot a small sapling protruding from the ground. I kneel down to examine it, and I smile. One life is taken, one is started. This sapling will grow into a strong tree, and I will come visit it, as a memorial for my grandfather.

Life is beautiful.

"I'm sorry, Mr. Kim, I don't know how to say this." The doctor says, looking over his clipboard. I sit across from him, wondering what he's reading. "The tumor has grown to a size that would be impossible to operate on. I'm so sorry, you have maybe a year at most." He says. I let his words sink in. I thank him and shake his hand before exiting the hospital. I walk over the bridge with my hands in my pockets. A year at most. At twenty five, I'll be gone. It wasn't long, but it was good. I sit down on my favorite park bench, watching people pass by. I spot a young couple sat on a blanket, having a picnic together. They look so happy, laughing and smiling at each other. Love radiates off of them, and I smile, their happiness warming my heart. What a wonderful feeling that must be, being loved by someone, loving them.

Life is beautiful.

I sit in the small diner, chatter from it's regular occupants reverberating off the walls. I sip my coffee as the waitress cleans the bar around me. I've been coming here for years, the aesthetic relaxing me. As I look around, I see a new face. A young woman tucked into a corner booth, resting her head on her hand as she pokes at her food with a fork. She looks out the window, a small smile tugging at her lips as a dog on a leash passes by. She licks her chapped lips as she turns back to her food, yawning as she rubs her eyes.

She is beautiful.

I start to come to the diner more often, and she's there most of the time. Sometimes she eats, sometimes she just has a coffee and reads. It took three weeks to gather the courage to talk to her. I sit down at her booth, and her eyebrows raise. "Can I help you?" She asks. Today was a coffee and reading day, and I notice the title of her book. "Les Miserablés. That's a great read." I smile. "You've read it?" She asks, shifting in her seat. "I read it three times." I reply. "Isn't it amazing? The structure is phenomenal, and the description, the imagery, just, incredible." She rambles. She seems so happy. It's great to see a genuine smile on her typically somber face. We sit for hours talking about our favorite books. Her voice is so soft and sweet, I feel like I could listen to it every second of every day. Sooner than I expected, the waitress came to tell us it was closing time. We nod, standing up so she could clean the table. We stand outside, saying our goodbyes. "Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't catch your name." I say, not wanting her to leave. "It's Y/N." She smiles, tucking her hair behind her ear.

She is beautiful.

We start seeing each other more. Instead of just the diner, we see each other at our houses, go out together, we even had a picnic together. I've never been so happy in my life. She's told me her past, how her parents abused her and kicked her out of the house at only fifteen, how she had to drop out of school to work full time to support herself. Through all she hardships she's faced, she still came out strong with a positive outlook on life. Through the darkness, she always saw the light, and focused on that, no matter how dim it was. I admire her for that. She's like me. Even with all the negativity in the world, there is always something positive, and she understands that. She is brave and sweet and caring.

She is beautiful.

She loves me. It took a month, but I finally told her how I felt, and she feels the same way. "I love you, Kim Namjoon." She said that. I kissed her too. Her lips were so soft against mine, like a rose. I want to be with her forever. However, I don't have forever. I told her about my tumor. She cried, and I apologized for making her sad. I never want to see her sad. I held her in my arms as she cried into my chest. Seeing her so upset hurts, and I make her look at me as I wipe her tears. "Y/N, I'm so sorry I didn't tell you sooner. I don't want to hurt you. I never wanted that. I couldn't help myself that day. I shouldn't have wrapped you into all of this but I did. I'm so sorry." I tell her, a tear streaming down my cheek. She reaches up, holding my hands and placing a small kiss on my palm. "Namjoon, I want to stay with you until it's time. I will be with you until the end. I love you and I will never leave you." She says. I hug her tightly, shaking slightly as I cry silently.

Her words are beautiful.

These past months have been the best of my life. Every time I see her my heart warms up, my smile never fades. Knowing she still loves me makes the last year of my life worth while. I've learned everything about her, and the more I learned, the deeper I fell in love. After a few months she wanted me to move in with her, so I did. being able to hold her in my arms every night is the best feeling. She's treated me amazing, and I've given her the same treatment. I want to prove to her as much as I can how much I care about her. I can tell that everything is taking a toll on her. Even though she is drained, she still shows that she loves me. I don't want to leave her.

She is beautiful.

She brought me to the hospital. My head hurts so bad, I collapsed yesterday. I have a feeling today is the day. It's too soon. There's still so I wanted to do with her. I wanted to marry her, have a family with her, grow old together. She holds my hand as I lay in the hospital bed. She hasn't left since she brought me here. "Y/N, you need to eat something. Please, go to the cafeteria and get something." I beg her. "No. I'm not leaving your side. I promised you, until the very end." She insists. I smile sadly at her, and rub her hand softly. This woman has given me the best year of my life. I'm so lucky. "Tell me something beautiful." I request. She thinks for a moment, smiling when she gets an idea. "Do you remember the day we met? How windy it was out? The trees looked so beautiful swaying in the breeze, the leaves drifting through the air." She describes. "That picnic we had next to your grandfather's tree. The lilies we left there for him. I'm sorry, I must be doing a terrible job at this." She sniffles. "No, you're doing an amazing job. Please, keep going." I asks. She nods, and thinks again. "That night we were in the park, and it started to rain, and instead of running like everyone else, we splashed in puddles, danced, and sat and watched the droplets fall. The sound was so calming, and sitting on that park bench, the water soaking through our clothes, I didn't want to be anywhere else. I don't think I'll ever be able to look at rain again without thinking of that day." She starts to tear up again. "Y/N, I want you to know how much you changed my life. Everything got so much better when I met you. Maybe in another life I can try to make it up to you. I'm so sorry." All of the good times we had were coming to an end. I'm so thankful she came into my life

She made my life beautiful.

A/N: We take so many small things for granted in our lives, not realizing that any day could be our last. Please, take this as a lesson of sorts, and enjoy the minor things in life. Watch a sunset, play in the rain, have fun. Do what makes you happy, and enjoy the time you have.

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