#my favorite alignment to do dumb shit

[canarydraws]

May 2022 - - - > June 2021

Starting a new campaign with an old dnd character and thought it was the perfect opportunity for a redraw! I feel like I can definitely see improvement which makes me happy ☺️

#art #redraw #dnd #dungeons and dragons #tiefling #warlock #Damon #the handsome devil is back guys #I’m very excited to play him again but I’ve mostly forgotten what his character was like #I just remember he was a failed attempt at a lady’s man and was somehow the designated party dad #that’s what happenes when you’re the only one with any brain cells #he tries to be friendly at least! #that just doesn’t mean that he actually likes you lol #ahhhh to be chaotic neutral #my favorite alignment to do dumb shit #I’ve been playing a character that’s somewhere between lawful good and true neutral for almost a year so Im looking forward to this

[an-idyllic-novelist]

Hi, could I request for a Lady Tamayo!Reader paired with Buddha?

This reader was revived by Brunhilde to be the doctor for the 13 champions and she's loyal (not too loyal) to her bc she saved her from her punishment from being a demon.

The scenario would be that they met when she treated him after his fight and they got to know each other after that?

Please and thank you

Here it is! Special thanks to @nixes-noxes for proofreading/editing to make sure that the characters weren’t OOC. Enjoy and have a lovely day/evening!

Warnings: manga spoilers

Buddha was…a difficult patient. Despite all of the odds that were stacked against him in his fight with Zero, he won. Yet his victory for humanity isn’t an excuse to sneak out of his room to bask underneath the canopy of his bodhi tree and enjoy a passing breeze with sun shining down from the sky.

That is one of the reasons why Brunhilde had summoned Lady [First Name] [Last Name] from Helheim despite being a demon; before she had been killed by Muzan after drugging him with an elixir during their confrontation in the Infinity Castle, Lady [First Name} had been a doctor. Together with her companion Yushiro, she helped as many humans as she could with their alignments,including those who had been afflicted with Muzan’s poisonous blood and became flesh-eating demons.

In retrospect, dying to give the Demon Slayers a chance to destroy the man who had ruined her human life wasn’t a terrible thing…but Lady [First Name] had not expected to wake up in a dark wasteland teeming with demons that were just as dangerous, if not more, than the demon king himself. It was through sheer dumb luck that she had survived for so long until the Valkyrie had brought from her ‘punishment’ and offered her the position of being humanity’s chief physician in the medical wing.

It did not take the young woman very much time to give Brunhilde an answer. At this point anything was better than being stuck in Helheim. Disinfecting wounds, monitoring a patient’s health, and making sure that they are being properly fed? Yes. She can do that.

But the demon did not recall that being the ‘chief physician’ also meant chasing after a stubborn god.

Shaking her head in disbelief, Lady [First Name] walked up the steep grassy hill as best as she could in her [Favorite Color] kimono and zori sandals till she was standing right behind Buddha, munching on snacks that she specifically recalled telling him to cut back on until he was ready for the next stage of his treatment.

“Why am I not surprised to find you here, my lord?”

“Should ya even be surprised anymore, doc?” Buddha snarked back, unwrapping a candy bar and throwing it in his mouth. “Besides, do you really believe I’d miss an opportunity to get some fresh air?”

She frowned. “I never said that there was a problem with being outside, Lord Buddha. In fact, it is supposed to improve your sleep, cognition, and overall well-being rather than being confined indoors all of the time. I did, however, say that you can but it would be in everyone’s benefit to inform myself or the staff that you wish to go outside instead of sneaking out. Lady Brunhilde was quite upset when she came to the medical wing earlier this afternoon to find out that you were…missing.”

“Bruni will be fine, she’s a lot tougher than she looks, believe me. Let her focus on the eighth round. I might have won but we still need more wins if the gods’ll leave the humans alone. More importantly,” He glanced over his shoulder, a single aquamarine orb staring right at her. “Do I even know you?”

Lady [First Name] tilted her head, staring at him for a moment before smiling softly. It appears that Lady Brunhilde was not joking when she had casually mentioned just how laid-back Buddha is…or simply doesn’t give a shit about anyone. The Valkyrie’s words, not hers, thank you very much. But being a doctor secretly researching demonic transformations or performing blood transfusions did not have its own issues. She also had to handle human patients too. Inhaling a deep breath through her nostrils, she calmed her anger before answering Buddha.

“All you need to know is that my job is to ensure the mental and physical health of all humanity’s champions, Lord Buddha. It goes against my oath as a doctor to force a patient to do something against their will. In this scenario, however, I offer…an ultimatum.” She paused, staring at the blonde-haired deity. Since Buddha didn’t interrupt nor look away, the demon took this as a cue to elaborate.

“I will speak to the staff and allow you to lounge outside here or in the greenhouse until a fixed time. When that time is up, you must return to your room and rest. Yes, this is a curfew, but this is the best that I can offer you right now. You may no longer be in critical condition, though there is a chance that your health or recovery might have some setbacks.”

She could tell immediately that Buddha wasn’t too thrilled with this restriction. No one likes having someone hovering over their shoulder or counting down the minutes until they have to go back to their room when all they want is a little time to themselves before running through medical tests for the nth time of the day.

“Is there any chance you can include snacks-”

“That will be taken into consideration once your bloodwork comes back, Lord Buddha.” Lady [First Name] chuckled, witnessing one of the most powerful gods pouting petulantly like a child. Shaking her head, she decided to do something that she hadn’t done in all of her years of practicing medicine: she sat next to him under the bodhi tree, paying no heed to getting grass stains on her kimono as she stared up at the floating islands of Valhalla in comfortable silence.

He did not say anything….that was progress. Maybe?

#record of ragnarok #shuumatsu no valkyrie #kny tamayo #snv x reader #snv buddha #request #my writing #tamayo!reader #lady tamayo #tamayo demon slayer

[juiceicicles]

Mean and Scary | Chapter 2: Ghosts in the Pool

Pts: 1, 2, 3

=======

He had never really intended to tell anyone about the nightmares. The sleepless nights, the tossing and turning interrupted by the absolute worst headaches and the bloodstained pillows thanks to the newly developed nose bleed problem. It made him feel weak. Nobody else was having these problems. Maybe it was karma from his attempt to just forget Barb this first go-around, maybe the numerous head injuries had aligned to create a new way of making him miserable. But Max just looked so tired, and if anyone could relate in their little Party, maybe Steve could.

And apparently, Steve understood almost perfectly. Max had opened up to him too, and confessed that she only really felt sane when she was listening to music. She’d given him her old walkman, the one she used before she realized she needed an upgrade if it was going to become a constant in her life. It was bulky, and the headphones were small and uncomfortable, but the reprieve from his own thoughts was better than any drug.

Well, any drug Steve had tried. Hence the standing in the Munson trailer, waiting to expand his horrisions. It still felt weird to be here. Not the trailer park, or even the trailer itself, he’d seen it from the outside countless times to pick and drop Max off. But here, in Eddie Munson’s living room. Waiting for drugs. After the russians Steve was almost entirely sure he’d never be able to even get drunk again. It felt too similar, felt like he was back in that cold room surrounded by needles and bone-saws. But he needed something or else he’d never fall asleep again, and the two days he’d gone without were already kicking his ass.

Was it smart to go to Dustins newest brother figure in search of illicit substances? No. Was he going to do it anyways? Yes. He just needed some fucking sleep, just this once. (He knew that he couldn’t guarantee that. That if this worked, he’d probably be coming back time and time again. But he was never the sharpest bulb in the shed, and he’s choosing to blame his remarkable lack of decision making on the sleep deprivation.)

There were dozens of baseball caps and mugs covering the walls around him. From sports teams, to shitty diners, to T.V. memorobila, there was everything. He idly wondered if any of the items were ever used, considering they were high enough on the wall that he would need a ladder to access them, and Eddie was about his height.

“Sorry for the mess, maid took the week off.” Eddie was digging around the trailer, looking for whatever it was Steve had agreed to purchase and later on actually take (was he really doing this? Should he be doing this? God, Robin was gonna be so pissed if she ever found out)

“You um,” Steve swallowed, he honestly couldn’t tell you why he was so nervous. He felt like there were livewires where his blood vessels should be, “you live here alone?”

“With my uncle. But, uh, he works nights at the plant. Bringing home the big bucks.” There were various clunking and clicking sounds from where Eddie was opening up what was presumably any container he found in his junk drawer mixed in with the sounds of singing softly crooning from the tinny speakers in Steve’s headphones. His favorite song was playing, and he turned the volume up a little more.

“How long does it take?”

“Sorry?”

Steve took a deep breath to calm his nerves, seriously why was he so anxious? “The- the, uh, Special K? How long to kick in?”

“Oh, uh, well, it depends on if you snort it or not.” Christ, this was so dumb, “Uh, if you do, then, yeah. It'll kick in pretty quick.” This was so, so, dumb. “Ohhh…shit.”

“You’re sure you have it?” the part of Steve that had been desperately begging him to just go the fuck home was silently hoping that Munson just didn’t have any. The other part, the part that hadn’t slept in two days and had been getting pretty shit sleep for the last week and a half, was desperately begging that he did.

“No, no, I got it. Um, somewhere.” Eddie turned around and went into his room, most likely to continue his part in the hide and seek game he was playing with this illegal drug. Seriously, why wouldn’t you keep that somewhere safe?

Tick tock. Tick tock.

Steve whipped around to stare at the window, as the music played in the background to the sound of a clock chiming in the distance.

Tick tock. Tick tock.

Steve really hoped he wasn’t going crazy. That some total whackjob decided to put a grandfather clock in the backyard of their trailer for some reason. But he knew he was kidding himself, it was so clear. Like it was coming from down a long hallway. Except the only hallway in the trailer was to Eddie’s room, and the sound was coming from the opposite direction. All those knocks to the head were finally getting to him. He was officially going insane.

As he scanned the darkness outside the window, the ticking and the chiming just got louder, and louder, and louder, until it felt like it was coming from inside his head. He frantically closed the curtains.

“Eddie?” Steve called over his shoulder, “Did you find it? Eddie?”

Silence. Gone were the sounds of hollow metal opening and closing, or Eddie’s weird ramblings to nobody, or the sounds of another person’s footsteps on the carpet. Steve slowly started to walk down the hallway. Eddie probably wouldn’t want him to see his room, but after years of monsters and possession and all things Upside-Down, Steve would rather take the chance of upsetting him over the chance of anything else. Granted the Upside-Down and the beasts that came with it were not usually quiet, at least from this end of things, but Steve was paranoid. He thinks he’s earned that much for all the brain trauma he’s most definitely had over time.

“Eddie?” He entered the room, only to find that Eddie wasn’t there. In fact, this wasn’t even Eddie’s room. It couldn’t be. This was Steve’s porch. The pool shone a light-blue glow over the surroundings, steam misting off the surface of the water in lazy swirls. The air felt cool, but not cold. Like it always did right before it became too cold to swim even in heated water, right before the Harringtons had to close the pool up. There were empty beer cans littered in a small pile, each with a small jagged hole punched into the bottom, next to some pool chairs with an ashtray situated between them on a small table.

And there, sitting on the diving board of the pool, was Barbara Holland. Her back was facing Steve, but he would have to be blind not to recognize her. Her curly red hair made a dark brown in the low light but discernible all the same, the dark blue denim jacket she had been wearing that night, color swallowed up by the black night around her. Resting her hands on her legs, one cradling the other with blood running down her fingers. Dripping slowly into the water below, the dark red quickly fading into the surrounding blue with each new droplet.

“B-Barb?”

This couldn’t possibly be real. Barb was dead. Barb had died here, on this night, in his pool. She was the ghost over his shoulder, never remembered quite right, and not always at the forefront of his mind, but never really forgotten. She was a scar that would never heal, a guilt that would never fade. Even if he hadn’t ever really admitted it, he agreed with Nancy. What she had said that halloween. He killed Barb, he just didn’t really let himself think about it.

“Still pretending, Steve?” She said, still not looking back. Still swaying her legs casually, sitting at the foot of her grave.

“Still bullshit?” The word reverberated through the air. And even though there were no walls, it felt like it was closing in on him. She finally turned around, and where her brown eyes had once been were milky white pupils, surrounded by black. Water dribbled from her mouth as she spoke. Her face was rotting, water logged and bloated. She didn’t look like a ghost, she looked like a corpse. Slugs crawled out of holes in her skin, and vines wrapped around her legs and propelled her forwards, her muscles too decayed to stand without assistance

Steve turned around and booked it. He slammed the door to the pool closed, drawing the blinds over the panes of glass. Holding his back to the door, he turned around to see that where the Munson trailer had once been, the viney Upside-Down tunnels had replaced it.

The vines slithered over eachother, covering the door to the pool and creating a solid wall of plant matter. Chittering and screeching echoed down pathways, the smell of kerosine and the distinct iron-copper of blood filled the air and choked Steve’s lungs.

“You killed me!” The distorted voice of Barbara Holland filled his head, so loud it was deafening. Steve covered his ears. “If it wasn’t for you, I’d be alive! My parents wouldn’t had to bury an empty casket! It’s your fault Steve!”

Steve ran, trying desperately to get away from the voice, but it wasn’t coming from behind him. It was coming from around him, like a bubble of loathing and blame.

“Nancy lied to you Steve! There was no ‘we’. It was all you!” Barb laughed, empty and hollow, “you’ll never make up for it, murderer! One day, they’ll realize! One day, they’ll all know! And when that day comes, nobody will want to see your pathetic face ever. Again.”

There in the diverging pathways of the tunnels stood Dustin, and then Robin, then Max, and Lucas, and Mike, and Joyce, and it just went on, and on, and on. Their sneers, their disgust, their backs turned as they walked away from him.

“If you had just focused on someone other than yourself for one fucking second, I’d be alive. Nancy would be happy! Thank god Jonathan was there for her, to be what she really needed.”

“You just can’t help yourself, can you?” Barb kept going. She’d finally gotten her chance to say everything she didn’t when she was alive, and she seemed to be making the most of it. “Needed to win over perfect prissy Nancy Wheeler? Needed to prove to your douchebag friends that you could conquer any woman? That nobody could say no to King Steve!”

Steve would protest if he could breathe at all. He felt like he’d been running for days, and he was panting heavily from the strain.

“You’ll never be enough to make up for what the world lost when you took me from it.” Barb's voice sounded farther away, until finally it faded entirely.

Steve slumped down the wall, creepy vines and shit be damned. He couldn’t think, he couldn’t breathe, he just needed a second to get his bearings together and then he’d start looking for a way out.

“Steve”

==

@bowl-o-queerios is me, I just can’t comment on this blog

#don’t read this it’s bad #but if you do #thank you #lol #steddie #steve harrington #steve harrington angst #steve gets vecna’d #Eddie Munson #is technically there #stranger things fic #stranger things 4 #Mean and Scary

[blondeboyfriend]

𝐑𝐄𝐌𝐄𝐌𝐁𝐄𝐑 𝐒𝐔𝐌𝐌𝐄𝐑 𝐃𝐀𝐘𝐒 (𝐈𝐈)

[panel reads from right to left]

« Part 1 | Part 3 » [ PAIRING ] Zeke Yeager x f!reader [ SYNOPSIS ] Zeke loses his mind because monarch butterflies have taken roost in the trees by his house and he is tasked with keeping an eye on his little brother. You lose your mind because your crush on him is becoming too much to bear. [ WORD COUNT ] 2.6k [ CONTENT ] High school AU, butterflies, Eren being a menace but in a cute way, snow cones, a kiss, blue texts are from him + green are from you.

bugs, your opinion? what jind of bug? kind* a really cool jind you’ve never heard of stop. wHAT BUG? b u t t e r f l y that’s not a bug what’d you do? read about bugs last night? It’s pretty obvi that butterflies aren’t bugs

"So you're the bug expert now, huh? Queen of bugs? Should I call you if I see a weird one instead of asking strangers on Reddit?"

You stood in the middle of your bedroom, phone in hand, the wood flooring chill against your feet. At this point in your friendship it was typical Zeke behavior to send you a series of vague texts and subsequently accost you with an exasperated phone call. You were surprised he became so comfortable with you so fast. He seemed so elusive initially, so mysterious.

"Do you... Do you actually do that?"

There was a pregnant pause between the two of you. You heard him clear his throat on the other end of the line.

"Listen I do a lot of shit on Reddit, kiddo. Also who the fuck says 'obvi' anymore?"

"Whatever. Why are you going off about butterflies?" you asked.

He mockingly gasped.

"You're joking, right?"

Your face grew warm. What could he be talking about? Was he going to ask you out? You shook your head, freeing yourself from the notion he'd pursue you in such a way. You were friends, pals, buds. You rode your bikes through the suburbs late at night. You hung out behind old churches, snacking on candy while he chain smoked. You talked about how dumb it was that people bought each other stars and how overrated the Catcher in the Rye was. Zeke's distaste for J.D. Salinger was unparalleled. It was awe inspiring in a "I just turned 18 and this is so deep" sense. You couldn't help but admire him.

"No," you conceded.

"I'm so disappointed in you."

"Ouch. My heart."

He sighed, realizing he was being a little shit. "The monarchs are hanging out in the eucalyptus trees by my house."

"What do you need me to do? Help you harvest and eat them?” you snickered.

“Gross, no. Open your door.”

A pebble thudded against your window. You peered out and saw Zeke standing there in his baseball uniform. You rarely saw him in normal clothes. He jumped up and down, and waved at you, nearly dropping his phone as he did so. His excitement was always palpable when he saw you.

You ran down the stairs and slid across the floor, gliding past the door. You groaned as you walked backwards to align yourself with it and turned the knob. The door barely opened before Zeke came bursting in.

"Harvest? Consume? You’re fuckin—Wait, is your mom home?"

You shook your head. Zeke liked to be on his best behavior when your mother was around. She wasn't particularly strict or judgmental, but he refused to swear in front of her. He compulsively ate mints and always made sure to come by with a half-dozen maple bars, her favorite doughnut.

"Are you insane? Do you know how incredible it is that this shit—" He pulled out his phone and showed you a picture of Eren running away from a monarch butterfly, "—is still around?" He handed over the pastel pink box. The smell of maple icing filled the room.

"You shouldn't talk about your brother that way," you said, pulling one out of the box much to Zeke's chagrin.

He snatched the box away from you.

“They’re usually gone by February. I don’t think I’ve ever seen them during the summer.” He glanced down at your shoeless feet. "You're so slow. They'll be dead before we get there."

"Oh my god. Hold on. You didn’t even give me a chance—”

You stuffed the doughnut in your mouth and grabbed a pair of sneakers. They were a rather old pair. The soles were worn down, the tread nonexistent. Once blindingly white now a dingy grey. You slipped them on with relative ease. They hugged your feet like a bodycon dress from the early 2010s.

"Of course you don't untie them," Zeke scoffed, as he grabbed your arm. His hand was heavy and callused, but still gentle.

"Let go of me, butterfly boy," you teased, not bothering to pull your arm away.

Across the street from Zeke's house was a grove of eucalyptus trees. Their astringent scent filled the air. The tide was high, hindering any sulfurous stench that could mar their clean aroma. They were tall, the tops barely visible. You marveled at their height even though you had certainly seen taller trees. The redwoods were frighteningly large with their colossal trunks. They seemed almost monstrous in comparison to the lanky eucalyptus trees that gracefully swayed. You and Zeke took a deep whiff while Eren complained in the background.

"It smells like pee."

"Eren," Zeke said calmly.

"Like yellow pee."

"Stop."

Zeke’s patience waned.

"Like you need to drink some water pee."

It didn’t take long for his patience to dissipate and be replaced with utter irritation.

"Eren!"

It was rare for Zeke to raise his voice. You'd only ever heard him do it when he was on the phone with his parents; though he mostly spoke to Carla in a polite manner. Eren pouted and walked off in the opposite direction, swinging a large eucalyptus branch. It whipped up dust in his wake.

"I hate yelling at him. I always feel like such a dick after."

"Well he was being annoying."

"Doesn't mean I have to yell."

You plopped down on the ground in the shade; Zeke joined you, resting his head on your shoulder. A coastal breeze swept through the trees. You stared up at the colony of monarch butterflies as they ebbed in the wind. They clung to the waxy, oblong leaves looking like little clumps of orange and black flowers.

You shivered and pulled your olive green windbreaker tight around you. You hated the random days in July that were tormented with clouds, the kind that dappled the blue sky like soot. Zeke draped an arm around you.

"I'm sure he'll be fine. I mean, look at him," you said.

You pointed over to Eren as he rolled around in the dirt, cackling like a maniac. He looked like a chinchilla taking a dust bath.

"Doesn't matter. That's not the kind of person I wanna be."

"What kind of person do you wanna be?"

Zeke went quiet for a few seconds, though to you they felt like hours. Had you asked the wrong question? Crossed a boundary? Finally, he spoke.

"Steve Buscemi."

"What?!"

Zeke avoided serious conversations by bringing up non sequiturs. Anytime you broached something too existential he misdirected you, anything to avoid talking about his lack of identity or his daddy issues.

"Why does sparkling water taste weird after it goes flat?"

"Do you know how easy it was to fly before September 11th?"

"I just poisoned us. The anecdote is listening to Macintosh Plus in my bedroom. Hurry!"

"You ever been to Pyongyang, kiddo?"

"Who's your favorite dude from the Kids in the Hall? The only answer is Bruce McCulloch."

Zeke was an open book, but with a few key pages ripped out.

You studied his face, desperate to find a crack in his facade. He turned his head towards you. His grey eyes cursed with despondency. They were a dead giveaway when he was conflicted. You fingered a rough eucalyptus seed and shoved it in your pocket. You figured why not avoid some fleas while you tried to navigate this conversation.

"Steve. Buscemi. Are you not familiar?" he asked, adjusting his glasses.

"I know who Steve Buscemi is."

"Prove it."

"He's the guy that gets fed into the wood chipper in Fargo."

"Precisely."

"Are you saying you wanna get fed into a wood chipper?" you questioned, voice weighed down with anxiety.

"Maybe. Would you miss me?”

"Wood chipper?!" Eren exclaimed.

Zeke sighed and stood up, mussing your hair. Eren leapt off the ground and brushed the dirt off his knees. He sprinted over and wrapped himself around Zeke's legs like a boa constrictor.

"Violence isn't the answer," Eren said, his voice muffled by Zeke's pants.

"That's funny coming from you, Mr. I Poured Kerosene Down an Ant Hill and Lit It On Fucking Fire."

"He did what?" you asked flatly.

You knew Eren was a little turd, but you didn't realize he was apt to commit crimes against bug humanity.

"They were coming into the house! Mom found one in her coffee and screeched." He looked up at you; his green eyes couldn't have been any bigger. "Screeeeeeeched!"

"Seems like overkill to be honest," you quipped.

"It's us or them," Eren lamented.

“Didn’t Carla just explain nuance to you?”

“Didn’t you talk to my mom about how to talk to gi—”

Zeke blushed and clutched Eren’s head to his leg, trying to muffle his voice.

“What did you talk to Carla about? Gills?” you asked, feigning ignorance.

“Hahah!” Zeke’s laugh was painfully staccato. “Yup!”

“Hm, bugs and gills. You’re a bit of a weirdo, Zekey Poo.”

You held your hand to your chin as if you were deep in thought. Zeke rolled his eyes and let go of Eren.

Eren stuck his tongue out. “Your pants taste like fabric.”

“I should fucking hope so.”

"Aw, you’re getting grumpy," Eren teased.

Zeke’s mouth was a thin line. He was stone-faced, almost like Rodin himself sculpted his visage. His eyes were dead, lifeless, the color of ash. Embarrassment and discontent had sucked any semblance of joy from them.

"Wait no, he's crumpy. Crabby and grumpy, just like dad."

You couldn't help but laugh much to Zeke's annoyance. You nudged him, hoping he'd lighten up but he remained as he was. A monarch butterfly lilted to the ground and twitched pathetically in the dirt.

"Alright, that was thoroughly depressing. Come on, you’re going back inside.”

Zeke trudged towards the house with Eren still clinging to his leg; you followed close behind. You wanted to think of something fun to do now that it was just going to be the two of you.

“Snow cones, Zeke. I want one.”

“I want one too!” Eren cheered.

Zeke gritted his teeth. “Maybe next time.”

“But I wanna get one with you guys now.”

“You should have thought about that before you started calling me made up words like crumpy.”

"I'll never eat anything blue raspberry. That looks radioactive," Zeke chastised.

The two of you sat at a mint green table on the boardwalk. You licked your neon blue snow cone. The syrup started to drip from the bottom of the cardboard, leaving your hand sticky with sugar.

"Oh, and green apple looks any less nuclear?"

"You ever hear about Cherenkov radiation?"

“I haven’t.”

“Well it’s—”

You interrupted him. “I don’t remember saying ‘Oh, Zeke, please tell me!’”

He held his arm at a strange angle, trying to avoid snow cone dripping down his sleeve.

“But I love telling you things without consent,” he said, voice almost cracking as the saccharine liquid made its way to his sleeve. “Oh, that’s perfect, just beautiful.”

You stifled a laugh. It occurred to you that openly laughing at a friend’s misfortune could be perceived as rude, or even malicious. You cleared your throat and cautiously bit into your snow cone.

“You’re lucky you’re cute when you do that, kiddo.”

“Bite into a snow cone?” you asked, chomping into yours.

The second your teeth made contact they stung pain, it reverberated throughout your head. You wailed as you were overtaken by brain freeze. Unlike you Zeke didn’t stifle his laughter. He guffawed openly, bringing unwanted attention to the situation. You sunk down into your seat, setting your snow cone on the table on its side. The agony stripped you of any sense; it didn’t even occur to you that your snow cone would leak all over. Zeke got up, tossed his snow cone in the trash, and quickly grabbed what seemed like a pound of napkins.

“Next time you suggest food I’m ignoring you. Or I’m gonna make you pick something less fucking drippy.”

“Fair enough,” you said, picking up your depressing mess of a snow cone. “I need to wash my hands.”

Zeke held his hands out in front of him. “Ugh. Me too.”

After ditching the messy snow cones the two of you wandered around, searching for a bathroom. It was a thankless task. Most places sold overpriced wares and demanded you purchase something to use the bathroom. It was understandable; the area was a tourist trap. There would be endless lines trailing out of the little cafes that dotted the streets if the businesses were more lax. Beachgoers who thought they were too good for the porta potties would coagulate in the entrances. A disaster in the making.

“I mean, like, I get it. But I also don’t wanna spend $7 on a single scone so I can wash my hands,” you said.

“Could go buy hand sanitizer,” Zeke suggested.

“It’s not the same,” you replied solemnly.

“You sound so wistful. It’s like you’re reminiscing about an old lover. Should I be jealous?”

You playfully kicked Zeke in the shin.

“Hardly. They’d never compare to you.”

“That’s… Uh, I—Oh, we could walk to the beach and use those shitty sinks!”

Zeke grabbed your hand, hoping to drag you towards the beach. But you yanked it away just as his fingers grazed your skin.

“Wait. I need to tell you something.”

He gulped.

“It’s bad, isn’t it?”

“I don’t think so.”

“Well, fuck, kiddo. Out with it then.”

“I like you.”

“Who?”

You nervously tugged at your hair. There was still time to backtrack. You could have said just kidding or by “you” I mean Steve Buscemi. But you froze, eyes were flooded with panic. You went to speak but nothing came out. The confession wasn’t supposed to happen like this. You had a plan! You wanted a late night drive up to the mountains. You wanted to stare up at the stars while you both lazed around on a blanket. Zeke would be smoking and talking about something dumb like lo-fi hip hop, and you were going to pluck the cigarette from his mouth and kiss him like they did in all those ridiculous teen movies. It was so cliché, but warm, summer nights were made for that kind of stuff.

However here you were, hands sticky with sugar standing on the sidewalk as tourists strutted by complaining about how packed the boardwalk was. The sun beat down on you, the clouds finally subsiding. You wanted to cry. How could you have managed to set yourself up for failure this bad? You wiped your eyes with your sleeve and tried to gain composure.

“Uh, no one,” you finally choked out.

Zeke rolled his eyes and pulled you towards him. He cupped your face with his hands and planted a kiss on your lips. He pulled away rather quickly.

“Holy shit. My bad. I, uh, should have asked. Fuck, why didn’t I ask?”

“It’s… I don’t care.”

A smile crept across your face which allowed a wave of relief to wash over Zeke.

“You don’t?” he asked.

“No… I mean, your hands left my face sticky which is absolutely disgusting but other than that I don’t give a fuck. No. Wait. I mean, I do. I do give a fuck because I, you know, like you… or whatever.”

You wrapped your arms around him and gave him a little peck on the neck.

“You’re going to wipe your hands on me, aren’t you?”

“I think I earned that right,” you said smugly, wiping them on his back.

He awkwardly kissed your forehead; his soft lips lingered.

“I suppose you did, kiddo. I suppose you did.”

#zeke yeager x reader #zeke jaeger x reader #zeke yeager fics #zeke jaeger fics #zeke yeager fluff #zeke jaeger fluff #aot fluff #snk fluff #attack on titan fluff #aot x reader #snk x reader #attack on titan fics #shingeki no kyojin fics #.fics #.aot #.zeke #x reader #reader insert

[pinktom]

what are your hcs about both of harry and tom’s sexuality like are they bisexual or gay? And what do you think will tom be okay with having more than one partner? Like yk in those Voldemort wins au where he has his own imperial harem. I love the way you understand his character and love reading you rambling about him.

An opportunity to ramble about my favorite characters' sexualities?! I love you, anon, alksjdlkfj. 💞

My Intensely Personal HCs

Tom Riddle is completely gay. I use his canonical campiness as the basis for this characterization, and run with it.

I definitely don't align with the idea of him wanting an imperial harem nor any sort of Death Eater bukkake situation. I think that asserts a certain level of primal indulgence he doesn't actually have; his humanness is something he represses.

Which is why I see him, in love, being like he is in life—a collector, a possessor. Share? Never. I think Tom would tolerate his object of affection having another partner only if he was actively home-wrecking in the situation, but ultimately, his end-goal would be to steal them entirely.

As for Harry, I'm happy to read and write him as gay or bisexual, or even heterosexual, depending on the context. I think canon gives us room to work with the idea of him liking girls well enough, but then, catching feels for a man without even realizing it. I think there's also room for 'late bloomer gay' since he likes sporty girls. (:

He also has zero polygamous energy imo. He wants to marry young, start a family young, have the family he always wanted.

My (Cursed) Canon Opinion . . .

I they're both just boring heterosexuals... I'm so sorry! 🙈

Tom Riddle reads nearly asexual—I certainly don't think sex ranks high in his priorities—but I see some fedora-tipping energy in there, some, "You're not like other girls," directed at Bellatrix and perhaps Nagini, if he knew her, pre-transformation.

Reading his dialogue in Chamber of Secrets, he actually gives me the very specific vibe of a boy who really thrives being bossy in his little fraternal network, but is actually quite awkward with women. Zero rizz, and definitely going to get embarrassing levels of jealous over dumb shit. He's got some serious mommy abandonment issues.

And Harry's just a little dweeb who gets crushes on Quidditch girls, isn't he? I love to poke fun at him pointing out the handsomeness of Tom Riddle in the narration as much as the next gal, but I don't see it tipping him into the bisexual category.

I'm sure he has a few wayward dreams and fantasies but nothing that would transpire to a real relationship with a man, haha.

#tom #harry #meta #asks #q

[idkelly]

RED NAILS

• Lalo salamanca x fem!reader, with some nacho too (best of both worlds), HEAVY on slowburn, and i love hurt comfort so bear with me

PREVIOUS CHAPTER

CHAPTER TWO

The casino was a safe space, for (Yn) at least, because it was her favorite skill—gambling and playing with predictions and percentages. She was known for it, and everyone knew her hands always pulled the best cards in the game.

Yes, the new Mexico casino was nothing like the one back home in Mexico, but business is business. Walking in, she didn’t grab any attention, which was better for her sake at the moment.

Only her father and brothers knew of her existence right now, plus Mike and a few others. but to the outside world, the new family was long gone from the public’s eye.

She hummed along to the music as she made her way to the back office, opening the door slowly, "Pa?"

“Hola bonita," as always, a cigarette was between his fingers and a book was spread in front of him. The lights were pretty dim, and the doctor told him it was better for his eyesight.

"I found him."

"Varga?"

"Hmm, when’s the next step?"

 "Tomorrow"

It was perfect. The plan and her needs were aligned. Her car needed a checkup, and she herself needed to check up on someone.

She found herself at the front desk of Ignacio's dad's workshop, and she was quite surprised he had some good business going despite his age.

 “Hola," the old man greeted her as soon as he heard the bell ring.

 "Hola.  ¿Cómo estás?" 

"Welcome. How can I help you?" He switched to English so fast, do I really look that white-washed?

"I was hoping to get a checkup on my car."

He nodded and turned to the back, where he yelled his son's name, telling him to go up front.

(Yn) couldn’t help but smile when she saw the look on his face when he recognized her; his steps slowed for a second as he gathered his thoughts as to what she was doing here.

The man brought his son only to be a translator between the two; therefore, Yn  didn’t need to show her ability to speak Spanish.

 In the middle of talking, the dad was called back in. with an apologetic look, he said, "I'm sorry, Senorita. My son will help you, okay?" and with that, he walked off.

 "How’d you find me?"

 (Yn) scoffed, looking to the side, though she could feel Ignacio's stare burn holes through her skull.

"Why are you here?"

"I can't get my car checked out now?."

 The man kisses his teeth in annoyance. What the hell was she doing here? "We both know you’re not here just for that."

 "Well, a little birdie told me that not only you’re a drug dealer, you’re also a card thief. I mean, shit, if you wanted some, I would’ve given you my Pokemon collection; it’s very exclusive."

 If someone were to animate the view from (Yn)’s eyes, they would’ve drawn steam out of Ignacio's ears.

 "I'm just saying you underestimated how big of an idiot you were. He went to the police for those cards, and now they’re snooping around."

 "Sounds like you have a problem, young lady," he said, taking a step back, ready to leave.

 "First of all, it’s an us problem; second of all, I'm pretty sure I'm older than you," he continued along his way until she stopped him dead in his tracks.

 "Are you really not that scared of Tuco Salamanca?"

 And there he is again, right in front of Yn, with his hands crossed over his chest.

 "I know you don’t play ball, so to speak, and Tuco finds out about your little side business. I think we both know the end to that."

 "Who are you?" he finally asked; that question had been on his mind for the whole day yesterday.

 "Me? I'm nobody," same dumb smile she always uses.

 "To put an end to this before it even starts, you give me the baseball cards, 10,000 in cash, and you net roughly $60,000."

 Ignacio chuckled then went back to his serious face, "And how exactly does that work?"

 (Yn) stayed quiet for a bit, saying, "Before I continue, you really have amazing eyelashes, im jealous."

Well, that took him by surprise; he didn’t show it obviously, but still, it startled him. However, his thoughts were soon interrupted by her continuing her speech.

He was impressed by her plan, and more so by her way of convincing him so easily to take part in it.

What stood out about her to him was the way she held eye contact; sure, it was common in the business to establish power and shit, But with her, it was almost more to get even with whoever she was looking at. He couldn’t put a finger on how he felt about it, her.

(Yn) wasn’t there when the final deal was happening, but Mike was, and she told him about the plan as she dropped him off near where he worked; it wasn't hard to find that one either.

The rest of the day she spent at the casino with her brothers; her father was now back home. The place was her brother's, where she was carrying out her business, which was her casino back in Mexico.

Here, the family was invisible, though; it wasn’t common knowledge who owned this place.

After a few hours, Yn  finally decided to head back home to her cat and maybe watch a movie while cuddling. The woman’s schedule was really, really empty; she could do as she pleased day and night.

As she unlocked the door, she could hear her cat calling her through the kitchen, but instead of coming to her, she had to fully realize who was sitting down on her sofa.

hard eyes.

 "Do you want coffee or tea?" she said as she kicked off her shoes and walked over to the kitchen.

 "Is this really your response to finding a stranger in your home?"

 "A stranger is someone you don’t know."

 A scoff could be heard, along with footsteps indicating he followed her to where she was; to his surprise, she was already making dinner, pasta, he presumed. with two plates set on the table.

 Was she serious? "Well, I don’t know you."

"So you willingly barged into a stranger's home, pretty clever," she laughed. "Did you follow me?"

“No, I dug a bit and found you," she couldn’t help but laugh more at his attempt.”I noticed the van that was following me yesterday, plus, if you dug around about me, you wouldn’t be here."

"Why are you here, anyway?" she said as she filled up the two plates with salsa and set the remaining in the middle if either of them had wanted seconds.

 He sat down, examining the dish. It was nicely made and fairly appetizing, especially after a long day of work. On the other side of the table, she sat leaning over to him, and there it is,  her stare.

 "Why do you do that?"

 "Do what?"

 "Stare"

"Does it bother you?"

 It was definitely a no, but he couldn’t say that, and on the other hand, he couldn’t say yes either.

 "Does Tuco not pay you enough so you make money on the side?" With that, Ignacio let out a big sigh and set his utensils aside.

 "The problem isn’t my salary or anything; Tuco is a ticking time bomb; he didn’t mind putting a bullet between a guy’s eyes just because he got a weird look from him, let alone me."

 "Your face has good bone structure; keep it that way," she said as she slipped the pasta into her mouth again. He didn’t know if these were compliments or not; she didn’t say them in a flirtatious manner, definitely more like she stated facts from a powerpoint presentation.

 After a moment of silence, he said, "Your cooking is amazing; where’d you learn it from?" She could tell he liked it by how he was devouring what was presented in front of him.

"My father’s an amazing cook, but I was the only one who got his talent; my two brothers

They learned to gamble from me instead."

 So she does have a family. Though she was an orphan or something.

"gamble?"

"Yes! My favorite hobby is real. I could do it for hours, plus I know all the tricks."

"okay show me sumn' "

 "I’m in a good mood today, so I'll  show you a few."

The rest of the night was filled with laughter and jokes. (Yn) gave the guy a lesson on games and cheats while his eyes filled with interest in what she was showing him, but either way, they both knew the night had to come to an end.

As Ignacio was at the door, ready to step out, he looked back to the woman who had greeted him goodbye a few seconds earlier, sitting on her couch peacefully petting her cat while watching TV. He really forgot why he came here in the first place.

Yn'’s mind filled with what she could do now to avoid her boredom, but as soon as she received a certain voice call from a specific person, she knew the next few days were going to be eventful.

She watched as Krazy-8 walked out of that door looking like his legs were about to give out at any given moment, yet he was sure fast enough to drive away in his vehicle. giving Yn her moment to shine.

She dresses nicely for the occasion for once, letting her hair down and doing her makeup, just taking care of herself before this whole shitshow goes down.

Parking her car next to Tuco’s and purposely bumping into it a little bit was the easy part; now she has to go in and embrace what’s going to happen.

Tuco was already staring at her in disbelief; he definitely saw what happened through the big classroom window, looking absolutely furious, while Nacho turned around after a few seconds and did his heart drop— is she everywhere?

"Hey!" She heard Tuco call out when she walked by their table to the register, but she pretended she didn’t hear them.

"Hello! Um.. can I get the number four, please, on the go?" She said this while smiling to the man before her, who went to work right away in order to avoid the scene that was about to happen.

"Yo chica, hey," she felt a hand guide her to turn around as she was met by none other than Tuco, who stood beside him, Ignacio. "You just hit my car."

"Huh? I hit your car?" Tuce chuckled at Varga. This bitch’s acting dumb.

"See, that car that you parked your piece of shit next to?" That’s mine, and you’ve just run into it."

"Oh well, I guess I could’ve and I didn’t notice, so my apologies, sir," she smiled and turned around, collecting her order and mumbling a small thank you before rushing out.

She could hear Tuco yelling not to get away from him, but the altercation needed to happen outside.

"Don’t you walk away from me!" Ay, puta!"

All the talking was done by the salamanca, while Varga stayed awfully quiet. Even Tuco noticed a slight change in demeanor on his end.

"You see that! You did that!" he said, pointing to the tiniest dent known to mankind.

"That’ll buff right out, now if you’ll excuse me—

As she was getting ready to open her car door, she felt a hand grab her by the shoulder and swing her all the way around, face to face with Tuco.

"You’re not leaving until you pay for this."

"If money is all you need, I've got great insurance."

Once again, with his hand that’s still glued to her, he shakes her to stop talking that nonsense.

"I ain’t messing around with no insurance, bitch, cash."

"Listen, I've barely got cash on me, so if you just give me your information, I’ll send it to you through insurance."

Thud.  Now (Yn) was sandwiched between Tuco salamanca and a wall; her head began to hurt already; maybe doing this herself was a bad idea, but she knew Mike would follow up with the deal, and she couldn’t let that happen; it won’t help her in the long run, and she needed all the salamanca alive.

So she'd have a black eye from one of them—not a big deal.

"You’re pretty, but a pretty awful liar." "I saw your wallet earlier; you've got plenty."

"That’s for my rent; it’s due today, and I can’t— ugh

Tuco’s ring was sure to leave a mark on Yn'’s cheek. Her head is already spinning. Why do I do this to myself?

"Just give him the money." This time it was Ignacio who spoke; no emotions were displayed, though his voice was almost like a whisper.

(Yn) looked at him and then forward to meet the loco eyes of Tuco Salamanca. she chuckled.

"I ain’t giving you shit."

The police sirens could be heard coming this way. "It’s time to bounce," Ignacio said, but his partner didn’t budge; instead, he ordered Nacho to leave and let him finish this business.

#lalo salamanca #lalo salamanca x reader #lalo salamanca smut #ignacio varga #nacho varga #nacho varga reader #better call saul

[pastafossa]

Stumbling and crashing and tripping with various crashes and a Wilhelm scream into your askbox to ask, YOU PLAY BG3????? ISN'T IT GREAT?!?!?!! I LOVE IT SO MUCH AKSHQKXBQ it's been my Focus since December!!! Who's your favorite so far?? How far are you in?? What kind of route are you doing?? Have you discovered any funny loopholes yet?? What race do you favor playing?? I LOVE to hear about other peoples playthroughs,

IT'S GODDAMN AMAZING AND I ALREADY HAVE MULTIPLE PLAYTHROUGHS PLANNED BECAUSE ONCE IS NOOOOT ENOUGH! I AM IN LOVE. Like I know these types of games (I've been a Bioware slut since KOTOR 2, so I looove this genre), and so I feel very confident saying holy shit, BG3 is one of the best! ALSO IT'S HUGE??? INSANELY HUGE??? AND FULL??? I LOVE IT SM.

Oh god favorites are hard, I'm gd attached to all of these little ducklings following my Tav. So far at least, storywise it's SCRATCH HE IS THE BESTEST BOY maaaybe Astarion. I LOVE his arc, his voicework is stunning, (I accidentally killed him with the big monastery laser and his reaction was hysterical) and his quest has been very moving. A close second is KARLACH, MY GIRL, MY FIREY BFF, like damn I HAD my little battle group (Gale + Astarion + Wyll) when I found her but I adore her so much I'm rotating Gale and Wyll to keep her permanently, SHE JUST WANTED A HUG. 😭

I'm in act 3, I just hit the city! I have no idea how but I am also STILL on my first PT after over a month of play. I love to sniff around under every nook and cranny granted, AND YET I STILL MISSED THINGS, IT'S SO BIG???

So far my route has been a chaotic good route! Outside, uh, occasional murdery hiccups goodbye creche but ya'll were assholes I've mostly managed to follow that alignment, and somehow still made friends with Lae? That was unexpected. I thought she hated my Tav's guts before she hit on her. 😂

Hilarious moments: setting off the giant laser at the monastery cause why wouldn't I grab the shiny weapon (sorry Astarion); being instakilled by Vlaakith at said monastery after basically mocking her with 'if you were really a god you'd be able to just kill someone yourself ha ha-splat'; friends telling me to talk to animals so I got excited when I saw a squirrel and ran to talk to it - it proceeded to bite me, then I failed a persuasion roll about being friends and it told me to fuck off; trying to get to that dwarf lady's husband in the Underdark and shooting an arrow at one of the mushrooms in the field he was in, thinking I could clear them one by one to get to him, only to set off a chain reaction that incinerated him and left the entire field a smoking crater (me as the explosions begin: oh, OH, oh no - wait, sir! Sir! Oh you're fine, you're - oh fuck, RUN SIR RU-shit he's dead); placing my druid in rothe/battle cow shape at the top of a ladder and charging whatever bad guy comes up so they fall back down (catchphrase: MOO, BITCH); and finally, I was having trouble with that one boss guy in the goblin camp, the one that sits on the throne. So when I saw I could get to the rafters, I painstakingly dragged every last explosive barrel and grenade I could find into the room and innocently placed them around the throne, then went up to the rafters and had Astarion shoot a fire arrow. I figured I'd at least bring the guy's health down but instead I set off the fourth of july, blasted that guy so hard he bounced around the room like a pinball before his body wound up glitch-stuck halfway through a wall, but hey, dead as a doornail sooo... it worked? Chaotic good alignment: MASTERED. 🤪

I'm playing a half-elf druid CAUSE I CAN BE AN OWLBEAR OR DINOSAUR TO FIGHT. I now have a chance to run around as a dinosaur druid with my 200 yo elf boyfriend, my BFFs, and find random bowls of poutine, this is the BEST GAME EVER. Also hilariously, I didn't check the stats closely and her intelligence wound up quite low, so she is very wise but also dumb as a bag of hammers, I love her, my first Tav is a good-hearted, unintentional bundle of chaos.

#baldur's gate 3 #baldur's gate 3 spoilers #i love this game so fucking much #and i can already tell i'll be playing it repeatedly like mass effect and dragon age #it has been a huge comfort to me even if i only have a little time for it each day

[monimccoythings]

MSM 2017 Eddie Brock & Symby headcanons

This is way too self indulgent. But it’s my favorite Eddie so there.

The original symbiote left enough of itself inside Eddie to be reborn again if something went wrong. But it miscalculated, because its remains bonded long enough to Brock to be permanently attached to his dna, making it impossible to tear them apart without killing them both.

This reborn symbiote developed a tremendous loyalty towards its host, just like it’s portrayed sometimes in the comics. As time passes that loyalty begins to cross into romantic territory.

They barely need to sleep now thanks to the symbiote, but in exchange, they need to consume the double of nutriemts to keep themselves healthy since their symbiosis requrires it. That doesn’t stop Eddie from having dark circles under his eyes or having a pissed off look 24/7.

As mentioned before, they barely need to sleep so they are mostly nocturnal. That’s when the best crime happens and when they have higher chances of catching Spider-Man by surprise.

Their alignment now is… quite weird. Like, Eddie doesn’t give two shits about becoming a hero and helping people since nobody did the same for him, and Symby… well it doesn’t have much interest in humans apart from Eddie and Spider-Man. But he doesn’t start complex plots of revenge or world domination, he is... just there, doing his thing.

Venom becoming a hero would be entirely an accident. Just being in the wrong place at the wrong time. Several times. Poor Eddie just wanted to mind his own business but he ended up doing good. He refuses to admit it but he kinda enjoys a little the praise he receives from helping, after all the verbal abuse he was put through by Jameson, it’s kinda refreshing having someone thanking him for his efforts.

If they decided to become vigilantes (because honestly, it fits them more tha being heroes), it would be because of the powerplay, mainly. They would enjoy showing off and tormenting their victims. They would see the criminals as prey to their predator. Venom would definitely get a blast out of toying with them, he would be a big fan of using intimidation and creating an atmosphere of paranoia and fear before attacking.

They are out of a job, so abandoned buildings and sometimes the sewers will do to rest for a while and keep going. At least for a while, Eddie decides to put their new and stronger skills for a better use and kinda accepts some…’shady’ jobs from the criminal underground. However, nothing that would put innocent civilians at risk, he may not entirely care about them, but he refuses to be the one causing them harm. Unless they provoke him, then that’s on them.

Eddie loves to pamper his other. He wants them to feel as cherised and wanted as he can so it doesn’t leave him like its predecessor. If only he knew his other is head over heels for him… It’s not like the Symbiote is being discreet. Eddie is just very dumb when it comes to feelings. Hopefully someday he will see that he is his other’s moon and stars, but until then… they’ll just keep being lovesick idiots around each other.

BONUS:

They have a spider-man plushie back at their place so whenever they feel like it, they go like this:

#symbrock #eddie brock #this is msm 2017 #but it could also be applied to other eddies i guess #msm 2017 eddie brock who lives rent free in my heart my beloved #venom #spiderman 2017 #spider man 2017 #marvel's spiderman 2017

[demetriandelibinaryboyfriends]

@allvalleyskillschallenge

Prompt: Back to School Pairing: YasMoon More cheer content for Best Lesbians!!!

***

You’re at the mall with your boyfriend, he’s upset He’s yelling at you while completely drenched in sweat He doesn’t get nonviolence like I do

I’m in Marseille, it’s a typical summer night Watching the kind of sissy chick flicks he doesn’t like And he’ll never smell like roses like I do

But she wears short skirts I wear t-shirts She’s cheer captain And I’m on the bleachers

Dreaming about the day when you wake up and find That all that macho shit Won’t keep your chakras aligned!

If you could see that I won’t get a tattoo of you Without asking first because that’s creepy You don’t belong to me And I think you should flee

Walking the halls with you and your lecturing I’m sort of shocked that you still want to hang with me Seeing your laugh and thinking to myself “I’m glad Moon forgives easy”

And I see your ex acting like he’s worth your time After all he ever did was treat you like some prize You said it was love but I know better than that Have some self-respect and don’t you dare take him back!

But she wears high heels I wear sneakers She’s cheer captain And I’m on the bleachers

Know I’m nobody now, and I’m just some tryhard But despite how Hawk’s changed He’s got no clue who you are!

If you could see that I know all your favorite smoke spots Music, movies, outfits down to your bikinis And where you go on shopping sprees

Flying home to see you on the prom night I know they thought that I came for Demetri But he’s only a beard to me And you’re all I see

Oh, I remember you leaving me behind For the school karate gang But you’d end up in a bind ‘Cause mean kids are all the same

And I know that I fucked up And I know I was a bitch But if it meant there’d still be an “us” Then for you I’d make a switch

Do you see it when we’re tanning by the poolside? Do you see it when we’re sitting in the booth and I’m like please Why can’t you see me?

And I know I’ve missed my chance over and over And longing’s not bringing you any closer Even if I have to plead But you belong with me Maybe someday you’ll see

You belong with me And one day I’ll feel free To say what I wish we could be And what you mean to me

***

@karatecaulfield pspsps

After I made this, I...maaaaaay have gotten kinda carried away with the YasMoon cheerleading content and wrote them a dumb little You Belong With Me cover. Whoops ^^;

So You Belong With Me has actually always kinda given me YasMoon vibes, but like...in a roundabout way? Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know that technically Yasmine and Moon BOTH canonically wear short skirts and high heels (which like. Good for them!!! It's such a Look and they slay!!!), but it makes me think of post-S1 YasMoon, where Moon was still one of the most popular girls in school, and Yasmine...definitely was not anymore. And we DO know that Yas started dressing more "modestly" from S3 onwards (as annoying as it was that she had to give up her "evil slut clothes" to undergo character development ig -____-), so it doesn't seem out of the question for Moon to keep the skirts and heels while Yas transitions to more casual, mundane stuff so as not to draw attention to herself. Definitely wouldn't blame her for wanting to stay under the radar after the wedgie video went viral lmao

Also TELL me Yasmine wouldn't look cute as fuck in pink tennis shoes and/or pink converse!!! Like come on!!! Girl would be ADORABLE in bright barbie pink stereotypical "not like the other girls" clothing and the more I think about it, the more I NEED to see this in S6. Also because it would be really funny if Moon just like. Had a thing for mean people in casual sportswear XD

Actually, went a bit apeshit and made this entire thing pink💗💗💗 What can I say!!! They just look so good in bright girly feminine colors!!! I have SUCH a weakness for hyperfemme4hyperfemme lesbians tbh. Same for hypermasc4hypermasc gays, hyperfemme4hyperfemme gays, and hypermasc4hypermasc lesbians 💖 Idk there's just something so special about queer couples who don't give a single flying fuck about The Straights™️trying to impose their "one person MUST be masculine and one person MUST be feminine in all couples!!!" brand of heteronormativity on LGBT folk. Masc4masc pairings that feel 0 desire for any femininity in your romantic relationship I love you, femme4femme pairings that feel desire for any masculinity in your romantic relationship I love you--

Yes I know realistically speaking most LGBT and non-LGBT couples are a pretty solid mix of masc and femme between BOTH people but I'm trying to make a point here akjsdiulfhkdufh

Fun fact: I was reading cheerleader anecdotes while researching how cheer squads work, and I learned the stereotypical pleated cheerleader skirt is...actually considered kind of dated??? At least in the actual cheer community. Which I think is a damn shame, because those skirts are cute as fuck D: But TBH Moon is popular enough that she could wear the most dated pleaty cheer skirt on the market and STILL rock it. Plus make it look "cool" and "retro" XD And we damn well know Yasmine will think she looks hot regardless <3

ALSO idk if I've ever mentioned this before, but it blows my damn mind that Yasmine is practically wearing the lesbian flag during the scene where she signs Demetri's cast :O Take away that blue stripe and she literally would be??? Like that whole but needed to be any more ragingly queer-coded than it already way XD NOT MY GIRL SAYING SHE KNOWS WHAT IT'S LIKE TO BE PUBLICLY HUMILIATED TO THE POINT OF BEING OUTCASTED AND OTHERED. WHILE WEARING A GODDAMN LESBIAN SWEATER. AND THEN IMMEDIATELY "STRAIGHTENING" THE HOMOPHOBIC JOKE ON HIS CAST AND COVERING BOTH THEIR GAY ASSES IN ONE FEEL SWOOP AJDIOSUHYFDUG Lesbian queen!!!

Also this subtext is going to make me go fucking INSANE I swear to GOD

Rambles specific to the dumb little song I wrote under the cut!

Basically the scenario I'm imagining here takes place during S3. A recently fallen-from-grace Yasmine is now at the bottom of the school food chain, forced to watch from the sidelines as her ex-best-friend (who STILL gives her the time of day for some reason) remains a popular, universally-loved socialite. And she finds herself in a strange position.

She can't help being a little envious, of course, since she remembers when she was that widely respected. It leaves a sour taste in her mouth that she once ruled the school, and now her second-in-command is blossoming and thriving while she's been reduced to a pathetic laughingstock. And with Moon expanding her circle as Yasmine's shrinks, Yasmine always ends up feeling left behind.

But it's more than that. With Moon soaring high while she's crawling through the dirt trying to catch up, Yasmine believes more and more that she's not worthy of her best friend's time. Like Moon has outgrown her in a way that leaves her feeling desolate and lost.

And yet Moon lets her stick around. Yasmine knows she should spend more time counting her blessings and less ruminating on her newfound status as the school loser.

Because, for some strange reason, Moon doesn't actually seem to care. For now, that's enough.

Unfortunately, her enduring popularity doesn't make Moon immune to the kind of self-interested assholes Yasmine's trying not to emulate anymore. Moon's ex--the subject of many a horror story concerning the Valley in Yasmine's absence--can't seem to leave her alone. Whether it's making passes at her when she's very clearly not interested or wrecking her science project because he can't stand to see her happy without him, the guy cannot for the life of him take a hint.

Moon vents at lunch one day that she loved him, and it broke her heart to watch him turn into such a jerk. Yasmine hopes for the sake of her own sanity that her friend is exaggerating.

Because Moon really, really needs to set her sights higher than some possessive creep who gets her name branded on his skin after a month of dating, and then acts like it cosmically bound them forever. The issue is that Yasmine has no idea how to convey this tactfully enough that Moon will actually listen.

For the most part, Yasmine is grudgingly happy that Moon grew a backbone. But she misses when her opinion had more sway, based on force and conviction alone.

It's times like these she wishes the two of them were on speaking terms over the summer. Then Yasmine could've told Moon to fucking run.

Moon's ex gets better, at least. Stops being a raging ass. Actually steps back and respects Moon's relationship with Piper.

(As sad as that thought makes Yasmine, for whatever reason.)

And yet he still watches her walk by with those big, sad eyes of his, like she's eternally the most tear-jerking scene in some depressing drama. When Moon stops to chat with him--friendly and kind, even after everything--whatever she says flies in one ear and right out the other.

It's so fucking pathetic. Hawk puts her on this shining pedestal of divinity and utter perfection--his own personal angel of salvation. But ask the boy so much as her favorite color or her favorite animal or her favorite store at the goddamn mall, he would bluescreen faster than a Windows Vista.

And frankly, Yasmine doesn't give a shit about his stupid fucking redemption arc. Good for him that he's not acting like a human dumpster every second of every day, but Moon isn't obligated to patiently help him wade through the muck of his own bad decisions. Fix and tidy up his perpetual list of issues.

Moon is more than some trophy to hand out for not being a shithead.

She's a whole human being, with thoughts and dreams and hopes and feelings. She likes turquoise jewelry and yoga and California rolls. She wants to be a massage therapist, but is worried it would pay like shit. She likes spending quiet, thoughtful nights walking around hidden corners of the bustling city. She realized she had a talent for baking and cooking when she made weed brownies to give out at school. She loves decking herself out in glowsticks at raves because it makes her feel like some mystical fairy. She listens to mostly electronic and top 40s bubblegum pop, but every now and again, she craves nothing but a good classical piano piece. She adores trashy romcoms, and has only ever been taught to be ashamed of it. Especially by people like Hawk.

And she's the most incredible person in the world.

She’s the reason Yasmine boards that plane back to LAX, if she’s honest.

Sure, it’s got something to do with her father’s frequent pestering about her love life. The exhaustion of constantly faking enthusiasm for a relationship that has only ever been a cover-up. And she isn’t keen on missing junior prom for a ceremony ushering in a stepmom scarcely better than the one who gave birth to her.

But the moment she sees that blue dress, that curled hair, that euphoric beam when Yasmine walks over…

Nothing else at that dumb dance even registers.

And yes, she dances with Demetri. Grinds on him as much as she’s expected to. Even stays for the afterparty to make out with him for good measure. She has to keep up appearances, after all.

But with Moon tired and headed home, Yasmine excuses herself after 20 minutes, suddenly no longer able to stand Demetri's mouth on hers.

In the coming weeks, Moon seems to buy into Hawk's song and dance hook, line, and sinker. Somehow, sad puppy eyes and pining stares and sob stories about how he's "lost his confidence" are enough to make up for him not knowing any more about her than a stranger of the street. All the conversations they've had and dates they've been on and intimate ways they've entwined their bodies, and Hawk has managed to ask Moon so remarkably little.

He's learned so remarkably little about the girl he's convinced is his soulmate.

And it's beyond frustrating to see Moon worrying herself over Hawk's neverending teen angst and annoying inner demons when Yasmine worked to better herself, too--and all she expected in return was a halfhearted pity friendship. When Yasmine's the one who can make Moon laugh without even trying. When Yasmine knows Moon's brunch order and favorite spa treatment. When Yasmine has seen Moon high and wasted and everything in between. When Yasmine's the one who always held Moon's hair back when she yakked her entire stomach contents into the toilet.

When Yasmine's the one who rarely leaves Moon's side. When Yasmine's the one who sits closer than just friends in every restaurant booth. When Yasmine's the one who sneaks longing glances at Moon not out of some mopey self-pity that she can never get the girl, but because she simply can't help it.

She'd look at Moon forever if she could. She'd gladly spend eternity taking in everything that was Moon--everything she'd ever been and everything she'd ever be--and never expect a damn thing for it.

And again and again and again, Yasmine is overlooked. Nothing but background noise in Moon's solemn duty to take care of a boy who will never deserve her.

And it's pathetic, really. Moon had a girlfriend. Kissed her in front of the whole school. Yasmine saw the instagram pics. It's not like Moon isn't open to being with girls that way.

Yet every time Yasmine wants to finally tell the truth, something stops her. Something holds her back. Something whispers in her ear that Moon would laugh in her face. And perhaps it has less to do with them both being girls, and everything to do with how they feel worlds apart these days.

After all, what hope is there for the cheer captain to love you back when all you are is that joke of a Front Wedgie Girl sitting in the bleachers?

#allvalleyskillschallenge #yasmoon #yasmine x moon #moon x yasmine #moodboard #aesthetic #yasmine cobra kai #moon cobra kai #cobra kai #cobra kai season 1 #cobra kai season 2 #cobra kai season 3 #cobra kai season 4 #cobra kai season 5 #wlw #lesbian #femslash

[myths-tournaments]

Awful Characters Round 1 Part 4 (4/8)

Propaganda under the cut!

CAMELLIA GWERM

Camellia is a romanceable companion in WotR who's one of the first party members you get at the start of the game. She's also a serial killer, a cannibal, and extraordinarily horny for murder. She's the kind of person that makes a "getting wet" pun about getting covered in blood while torturing and killing a slave she bought in Literal Hell. The only reason anyone tolerates her is because she's useful in the war you're fighting together, even though she doesn't actually care about the conflict at all and just sticks around as long as you're willing to give her cover for her crimes. Her romance arc is just as ridiculous: the first time you hook up is right after you catch her catfishing and murdering a dude, and her idea of letting people know you're "official" is to turn you invisible, sneak you into a church, stab you in the stomach, and let the congregation see you together when you reappear. There's even times when she tries to be a better person but completely fails just to drive home how nothing you can do will ever Fix HerTM. I think she's hilarious because her cover story is so obviously paper thin that basically EVERYONE sees through it right away, but she still acts like she's some kind of criminal mastermind. She charges into battle shouting things like "You will be today's sacrifice" and "You'll pay with your blood," she wears an amulet that hides her alignment (something no actually good character would do), and she just can't help herself from saying brutal shit around the rest of the party and trying to laugh it off afterwards. At one point the guard investigating her murders straight up tells you they know Camellia is the killer, but they won't arrest her because she's still helping the war effort. She's an irredeemably awful person, a terrible liar, and my fucked up little guy. I love letting her act all smug and enigmatic while everyone already knows how much of a piece of shit she is. My dumb lesbian ass bought the game just so I could mod it and romance her.

SOLF J. KIMBLEE

Mentioned to be the only one who enjoyed the act of exterminating the Ishvalan race during a civil war/genocide campaign. Finds the sounds of explosions and suffering to be beautiful, and sees the act of killing and destruction to be artistic. Aware that his way of thinking is unusual and is able to act "normal" to the point of passing psychological examinations in order to pass the State Alchemist exam without issue, allowing him to serve as a military weapon. Doesn't care if people die, including himself, and mentions that he finds it enjoyable how he could die at any moment. Very Darwinist point of view, but is genuinely polite and holds deep respect for people with strong convictions who stand for their own beliefs. Remembers the all his victims out of respect, since he's certain that they'll never forget him either. Mentioned to my friend how I liked his character and got asked "what is wrong with you?". Also villain wiki lists his crimes as "genocide, mass destruction, mass murder, and crimes against humanity" and one of his hobbies is "killing people" so he's definitely not a good person lol. Also happened years ago but people on twitter were saying that people who liked him were anti-semetic??

#awful characters tournament #tournament poll #awful characters round 1 #pathfinder #wrath of the righteous #camellia gwerm #fmab #fullmetal alchimist brotherhood #solf j. kimblee

[swangtup6]

Demo Review: Mütiilation - Rites through the Twilight of Hell (1992)

Mütiilation is a band that, for the "initiated" (god that's corny), needs no introduction. The most famous band in the notorious French black metal circle, Les Legiones Noires, I honestly don't care for most of their releases. However, I have a weakness for their '92-'95 demo run, with the band's very first release, this demo, being my favorite. How good was this legendary band's first musical venture from a (semi) objective perspective? Let's discuss.

The first thing I want to talk about is the first thing in the demo; the intro. This is atypical for me, but I specifically want to talk about the intro because I really don't like it. It's the length of a full track (over two minutes!) but Is largely boring, annoying, shitty guitar playing, with dumb sounding "occult noises" that drags on and wastes time. 2 minutes isn't a lot of time, but it's still unecessary and hurts the overall quality of the release. Overall, it's a lame start.

The next thing has to be the guitars, as they're BY FAR the primary instrument on this release. The guitars are wayyyy too loud (in a good way) in the mix, and kinda drown everything else out. The riffing is very simple and reminds me a little of early Absurd, except played a bit more confidently. The riffs often drag on for most of a song, repeating over and over again in a style remniscent of early Burzum tracks, and are mostly mid-paced and headbang-y. Overall, I really like the guitarwork on this demo quite a bit, I think it's pretty unique and enjoyable to listen to, even with somewhat pathetic leads/solos (again, very remniscent of Absurd).

There is no audible bass.

The drumming is probably the weakest part of this demo in my opinion. All of the beats are very simple like the guitar, however, they are also painfully offbeat to the point where they don't even matter or need to be there, especially considering how low they are in this mix. They pretty much only detract from the music, except for the moments where they magickally align with the rest of the song for like 30 seconds and it's like "ah this is nice" and then they go back to being off beat. I do give the drummer, credited as "Dark Wizzard of Silence", some grace though, because if he was the same age as Mey'nach (credited as "Willy" on this release) when this was made, he probably only had a year or two of experience and could still pull off some semi-decent blasts.

Onto the vocals, these are another high point of this demo in my opinion. Willy used a very different technique when recording this than he did later on. Instead of a higher rasp, he SCREAMS his lungs out for the majority of the 30 minute runtime. They're somewhat buried in the mix, but the vocals have a very shouty quality to them that benefits the headbangy, midpaced sound that this demo has.

The final specific quality of this demo I would like to talk about is the production. I've touched briefly on the production in each of the previous paragraphs, but it warrants its own. This is on the cleaner end of raw black metal, in my opinion. Just about everything is audible (except the bass but it's black metal, there's almost never bass), and due to the minimal number of instruments, the mix isn't too completely full of 482098290208 different guitar tracks and 9278352385032708 vocal layers or really any synths or shit like that. The production is stripped, minimal, and rough. The guitar is the centerpoint, being so loud in the mix it almost has a shoegaze-y quality, reducing all other instruments and at times itself to textures layered on top of one another, rather than any kind of real rhythmic or melodic sounds. The production sounds full and isn't muddy for the most part. Most riffs are distinguishable, as are vocals and drumming. However, it's still pretty harsh and distorted, so it isn't too clean but it's not super duper dirty like Witchmoon or Lampir or early Grausamkeit.

Overall, this is a spectacularly amateur demo, in the best way possible. It has pathetically played lead guitars, but they have a charm to them. It has off-beat drums, but that just makes it more trve kvlt. It sounds like it was recorded on a broken 4 track player and it probably was. This is a bunch of highschoolers fucking around and making fun, pretty good music, especially for a first release. I love how this demo sounds, and a "good" recording of the same songs wouldn't be anywhere near as great (probably why I don't like Mütiilation's later material). I think it's fantastic, personally. However, I also want to be as objective as possible while giving my subjective opinion on this piece of music. Similarly to A Funeral of Light, while this is a charming demo that I hold dearly, I can't score it as high as I want to due to it having some pretty glaring flaws.

6/10

Standout track: Born in Malediction

#youtube #music #music review #metal music #metal review #dungeon synth #black metal #death metal #keller synth #lln #les legiones noires #mutiilation #trve kvlt #occultism

[winderlylandchime]

I came on your blog to send you a few updates about my brother because the man is a gift that keeps on giving and then I saw that you tagged one of the posts about wanting an update about my brother. Gotta love it when the planets align that way haha. I apologize for how long this is but it has been an interesting week in my brothers life so I tried my best to keep it short and failed as you can see lol.

First of all I had to break the news to him about Randy retiring from acting to become a therapist. And it went just as how you’d imagine it to go if you imagine a grown man with a tendency to be childish and dramatic reacting to it. So many things happened so I gotta tell you the highlights: We were on facetime and I told him, he screamed (an actual AHHHH while holding a hand to his chest) and then went ‘of fucking course! The second I join the fucking party, he decides to fucking retire. And I’m supposed to NOT take it personal?!’. And while he was going on about it he was also doing something but i didn’t see what and all I saw was him grabbing scissors in a really stupid way (they were pointed towards him) so I went ‘ummmm’ and he goes ‘what? Oh come on, not even I am that fucking dramatic. I’m making myself a *said so that the last letter made a pop type of sound* crop top.’ And then he enthusiastically showed me the shirt that had A LOT of writing on it and he cut it so that only the first word is on it which is “HOLE”…. He is very proud of it btw, plans to wear it to his PT next week.. i swear he lives his life like a reality show mixed with a sitcom.

Anyway, he can’t believe Randy is actually going to be a therapist. Like at all. And then he goes ‘that’s so fucking weird though. Blondie a therapist. There’s no way people won’t recognize him..*long pause* do you think Gale also has a normal job now? Imagine he’s like a professor or some shit since he is nowhere to be found (me: how do you know that?)….i may have googled him..seriously is he even alive still?’ (ngl now i keep wondering if Gale also said fuck it and got a normal job) and then what followed was him gasping and then looking up at the ceiling and going ‘dear god.. i know i talk a lot of shit about you but if you could PLEASE make some gay dude go viral with a tweet or a dumb tiktok video about how Blondie is his therapist, that would be so fucking dope. Thanks bye’ and now I can’t stop thinking about the possibility of some gen z kid making a tiktok about it..

The good thing about this week is that he is finally covid free so i was talking to a non-feverish person which tbh not much difference, the bad thing is the dude somehow managed to get laryngitis so he’s losing his voice at a speed of light and while he was going on and on about Randy, he kept losing his voice more and more..which obviously made things for me, his little sister, a lot more fun. He was completely raspy yesterday and today he kinda still has a voice but not really. And no, none of this has prevented him from not talking about Randy retiring. It’s been over 24 hours.. Mom was annoyed with him because he will lose his voice talking about a middle aged white gay man, so he is balancing it by also talking about Gale aka a middle aged white straight man.

He also got really angry because he discovered that QAF online doesn’t have the right soundtrack (he already knew that but forgot). He was so upset about that that he was going on about it for at least 5 minutes while sounding like a dying goat. He then tried to bribe me to send him my dvds..So now his mission for 2024 is to somehow/somewhere find the dvds. Mom is hoping he doesn’t succeed because she knows full well what would happen aka he will force her to watch it. However our uncle is betraying her by helping him because the 69 year old gay dude likes drama. Mom thinks the fact that she lives 20 minutes away will stop my brother from making her watch it.. She clearly underestimates him.

And then probably my second favorite part because I got to witness it all through texts and voice memos and facetimes is that while he had covid, he had a lot of free time so one day he said fuck it and started going through everything qaf related online. So here’s a bit of a rundown of his 20 years late opinions: He is (still) angry at Hal, he’s angry at one of the writers (i forgot his name but it’s the writer who talked shit about Randy publicly), he has mixed feelings about Dan and Ron just because he’s not very fond of old men but he is also sure as fuck that they had issues with Randy, he found out that Michelle has a child with Bryan Singer and now he doesn’t like her because “i have morals.” He again remembered Gale was Pentecostal and that threw him in for a spiral at 3 am and what followed was a feverish rant about cults (which made no sense but that’s okay). He found old interviews where Randy was not so fond of qaf and that made him have some feelings but it ended up with him announcing a “war” against writers. And then he circled back to his anger at Hal because he decided that he was clearly jealous of Gale/Randy’s attention. He has range ngl. This is also where he decided Gale is a missing person because ‘seriously how the fuck can nobody post anything about him? Make him go to some charity event or some shit, I miss my man.’

Then on the day that I told him Randy is retiring which was like 2(?) days ago, he called me because he listened to the Poly episode of Randy’s podcast again (this lead to me later telling him since he didn’t see the new ep since this was the only one he had saved) anyway he called me to ask ME about if I* think he could be polyamorous (having siblings that youre close with is such a weird fucking thing). Then he decided I was not the right person to ask so he called our aunt who actually is polyamorous while he was on facetime with me and I got to witness the beauty that made me and my neighbor laugh way too hard (i wish you could hear/see him but just imagine a toddler covered in chocolate trying to make a point with an attitude how he totally didn’t eat the chocolate) because our aunt hit him with ‘i mean…stranger things have happened but also (his name), you broke up with your ex girlfriend because she wouldn’t share her purse with you’ He argued it with this and I quote ‘okay FIRST of all how DARE you bring that up, you know I’m still sensitive about that, 2nd the purse matched my outfit so it was rude she didn’t share. 3rd, I shared my two purses with her whenever she asked because sharing is caring, see that proves my point, 4th the purse was in a box for donations so once again: RUDE on her behalf and 5th and probably most important part: she cheated on me with her cousin’s girlfriend 2 days before so I think the least I deserved was to be allowed to borrow a fucking purse.’ Reader, I need you to understand that this happened like 10 years ago when he was like 25. Till this day he is more upset about the purse part than the cheating part. He was upset about that for a week until she texted him she thinks she’s gay and then he went ‘oh..i mean you couldve just fucking said so..btw did you throw that purse away?’ Our whole family still makes fun of that (in a nice way) bc he really didnt care about anything except the purse but also because he hit on a girl at bar once and she told him she’s gay and he pulled up instagram and showed her our accs and went ‘i got a sister or an ex, whose number would you prefer’ so he’s definitely still upset over the purse. Btw the jury is still out on him being able to share a whole human.

And also today which is why I’m sending you this now, I woke up to these next texts: ‘what if i change my therapist and I go to Randy? How fucked up would that be?’ ‘Imagine I end up in his office and just start talking to him about qaf’ ‘wait hold up, imagine if I didn’t know it’s him! And i show up in my Justin shirt and go on this long speech about this show and Brian and Blondie…at what point do you think he’d stop me?’ ‘Okay so I texted (his therapists name) and after he was done being mad at me for asking him dumb questions under the impression of emergency late at night, his only words were ‘in my humble professional opinion, (his name), it would be BEYOND fucked up’ but I think he’s exaggerating, what do you think?’ ‘So what kind of therapist do you think he’ll be? Like one on one ‘you got depression, heres pills’ type or couples or what?’ ‘Also do you think he’ll be a cool chill therapist or will he be one of those that look like they escaped their Mormon family and have a stick up their ass?’ ‘Do you think my man is also doing some random work now? Like mechanic or something?’ ‘My man as in my man Gale btw’ ‘no but fr imagine you go to therapy and the dude who you watched fuck on tv is your therapist… at what point do you tell him that you know what his booty looks like?’ ‘His choice in clients are limited.. either kids with no social media or like the fucking Amish’ So I would say he is handing the Randy retirement/therapist news about the same as all of us… or worse.. I actually can’t decide.

Dear sweet anon! I put out into the universe that I wanted updates from you and your brother and the universe delivered.

First of all, we are all devastated about Randy retiring from acting/public life. But also, as a therapist, I do support this journey for him. I do think it will be hard but he will have supervisors along the way to help him navigate the fact that there is footage out there of his butt on a Showtime show. Either that or he can only see clients who are toxic levels of heterosexual.

Speaking of your brother's idea to covertly become his patient, may I direct you to this anon I received? Here THE FANDOM KNOWS YOUR BROTHER AND PREDICTED HE WOULD WANT TO INFILTRATE RANDY'S THERAPY PRACTICE.

The soundtrack online is a travesty and is also homophobic. Would your uncle help me find the DVDs too? I have S2 but not the rest. (I don't even have a DVD or Blu Ray player but I also bought the entire David Tennant Doctor Who collection on Blu Ray (well minus 14 I guess) so at this point I'm just collecting stuff. (I do have a link to a google drive with all the episodes but you or your brother would have to reach out to me by DM here or on discord (thataj.) because I can't post it publicly (it's not actually mine lol).

I think it is very polyamorous to break up with someone for not sharing. Also, I am now curious about his collection of purses. Isn't sharing the name of the game in polyamory?

I think all of his opinions about everyone are so valid. We do get one (1) proof of life from Gale on social media per calendar year. Usually on someone else's account. I know there was a post of him in 2023 so we need to look out for 2024. I do NOT know what he is doing to earn a living these days. It is very likely he has a job that is not in entertainment or at least not on stage or on screen. Maybe entertainment adjacent?

Thank you so much for this update. I love that this continues to cause drama and discussion in your family. I love that your brother's therapist is fully involved. And I love that you continue to share your family with us.

#ask winderlylandchime #dear sweet anon #queer as folk #a straight man watches qaf us 2000 in the year of our lord 2023 #2024 edition

[mcrmadness]

001 About Richy and Igor

002 About Igor specifically (wanna hear your thoughts about him in depth :D)

003 about Monty Python characters? if it's even possible?

(I would gladly hear you on 001 about FuB, but as I'm being absolutely too much, I can understand that you don't do it. It's extra content :D)

((Also, you are free to answer to this ask for only one ask and do the others on separate posts for more clarity !))

I reblogged this ask game before reading any of the questions, and after receiving your ask, I read them and now I have to say that my questions are probably gonna be very, VERY underwhelming ::D So don't get too excited, cos I don't think I'm able to give you the type of answers you might be interested in reading :D But I'll try anyway, but know that you're been warned: boredom alert!!!

001 | Richy & Igor

when I started shipping it if I did: Must have been in 2009 when I found out about die ärzte for the first time. I watched every video I could find, including Richy Guitar. At first I didn't really care about the film, and I wasn't exactly shipping R/I but more of obsessing with the clips because of my new Bela/Farin obsession. I got way more into the ship only during the past 2 or 3 years, when I also started writing fanfiction about them, and then it evolved into drawing doodles and comics too.

my thoughts: Uh, what can I say? Head empty, no thoughts. My brain keeps hyperfixating on this ship for no good reason.

What makes me happy about them: Nothing.

What makes me sad about them: Nothing.

things done in fanfic that annoys me: Anything that doesn't align with my own headcanons or is too far away from the actual canon.

things I look for in fanfic: Nothing. Because it doesn't exist, so I have already given up.

Who I’d be comfortable them ending up with, if not each other: No one else.

My happily ever after for them: Idk.

who is the big spoon/little spoon: Idk.

what is their favorite non-sexual activity: Canon? Music. My headcanons? Fast food.

---

002 | Igor

How I feel about this character: Idk.

All the people I ship romantically with this character & My non-romantic OTP for this character: I honestly don't know if it's romantic or queerplatonic or just platonic, but I only ship him with Richard.

My unpopular opinion about this character: I have none. I don't think there are even popular opinions about this character out there.

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon: I wish to know where does he live. I keep thinking about that caravan inside the abandoned factory, and I keep headcanoning it as Igor's residence but I wish I knew whose place that actually was (the other option is Hans, but yeah, it's never revealed in the film).

my OTP: Richy/Igor lol

my cross over ship: None.

a headcanon fact: He's head over heels for Richard whether that be platonic or not.

---

003 | send me 5 characters and I will rank them in order of preference

You asked about Monty Python characters. I guess it is possible, but just very very difficult because there are not that many reoccuring characters, and the Flying Circus show ran for 4 seasons and there are several films, so the character count could be in hundreds tbh. Often the skits are also more about the joke and topic and less about characters, even when they're often given names. But as I'm writing this, I can feel a potential list cooking inside my head so, here we go!

The Gumbys. My favourite quote comes from these skits: "My brain hurts!" I can't find that as a gif now, but they are these extremely, extremely stupid characters who shout every line of theirs cos they are so dumb. Here's the Brain Specialist skit where that quote is from too :D

2. The Hell's Grannies. This is just the funniest shit ever and I absolutely love the graffiti they paint as a graffiti and which goes: "Make tea, not love." Here's a link to a video on youtube.

3. Anne Elk (Miss). I just keep rewatching this skit over and over again cos it's so stupid, and the characters just interact with each other in such a funny way, and Graham's character's reactions to Anne Elk are so funny :D

4. Pontius Pilate in Life of Brian. Ok this movie is full of extremely funny characters, and I would like to mention a handful of others, such as the deaf and stupid character and his companion who's stuttering the whole time; and also that man in the pit who hadn't talked at all until Brian accidentally jumped on his foot. But I still have to give this place for Michael Palin's Pontius Pilate just for that Biggus Dickus scene cos it's probably the funniest movie scene I have ever seen. Palin often had the funniest characters, and it's even funnier when you know that the extras and other actors didn't know about his lines so if I'm correct, all of those laughters were genuine reactions to Palin's acting, and he also was so close to losing it at one point :D

5. And you know what? I just HAVE TO link here the French Taunting scene from Monty Python & the Holy Grail, just for you XD "Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries!" kills me every time.

+ And you get an extra just because you're French, this skit and their accents in this sometimes live rent free in my head :D

THANK YOU so much for the ask btw! I decided to skip the 001 about FUB cos my answers would have not been much different from the RG one, apart from real people not having a canon, and me not really having any headcanons for them for that same reason. So, it would have not really added anything, or would have been even less than what I now got for the answers for R/I.

Funnily enough, I got way more out of Monty Python. It just shows how I don't get attached to characters really, but live for and from humour, and anything that's funny af to me, I like and makes me happy.

#fichtfoxfuchs #ask games

[sharkface-daydreams]

5 works :3 ship opinion bingo: sharkface/felix, sharkface/locus, sharkface/price, sharkface/carolina, and sharkface/kimball

So many shark ships, is this my birthday??? lol

Let's start with my main otp of all time ever, Sharkface/Locus :3333 with the rest under a cut for sake of scrolling ofc

Despite appearances, Sharkface is actually the most well adjusted "just some guy" of the mercs since Siris is gone. And that I think can tug Locus back towards the realm of balance, make him realize hey this fucked up thing I have with Felix? doesn't need to be like this. Like sure they're both still fucked up freaks, but I think since Sharkface is actually capable of being normal about people stuff Locus' badly calibrated interpersonal compass could be bright back into better alignment. It might not be normal but Sharkface would be decently chill about Locus needing to start being a good guy in earnest and having a Person at the vet least is good for Sharkface. He's a social animal and needs to have People around to love and nurture or he suffers.

Which brings us to my next favorite, the ever-toxic "what the fuck is with these guys" ship: Shark/Felix >:) the only way I can see these guys is as aromantic and casually sexual but still somehow weirdly codependent. They 100% bring out the worst in each other, and really I can mostly only see this "working" in an extremely specific or modern AU.

The oddly specific one is a personal au of mine where Sharkface survives Armonia bc one of his assigned squad scrapes him off the pavement and gets him to medical. So that when Felix is falling off the tower like a meteor headed to hell Sharkface is like huh that looks like it's gonna suck and yoinks him sideways instead with his grapplehook. (Do not tell me he isn't any good with it you know that boy spent way too much time with his old squad doing dumb shit and stupid tricks) They both escape death by sheer dumb luck, Locus disappears like a ghost and the UAC runs the remnants off of Chorus into an escape Condor. It's uh. It's like that one post. Fuck. I can't find the screenshot but it's like enemies to begrudgingly working together and maybe me saving your life and you saving mine i feel some sort of minor obligation and i guess you're not that bad after all and we don't work so bad together and at some point it's just easier to stick together kind of thing. And with Sharkface he needs a person or people as stated above and Felix clings because it's weird to not have someone at his side and well they're getting work done and making money and the sex is good so why break a decent grind while it's still working out... ANYWAY. That, and enraged hatefucking while the wars still on. Those are the options but god are they chewy.

There's no real rhyme or reason to the order, truthfully these rotate in my top spot depending on the day lol but Sharklina is so. SO. ough. listen ok so they're enemies at first and Lina completely rocks his shit and thanks to the Skittles assholes he loses everything and they forget about the people they've crushed under a fucking skyscraper. He's hell bent on revenge, she's hell bent on redemption. which is extremely funny in light of his tattoo. they're both competitive and dedicated and passionate and neither one of them likes backing down, and honestly in like a modern au with them meeting at like idk an MMA match or something i think they'd kick each other's asses and then make out. In canon though they've got SO MUCH deliciously chewy baggage to work through and if they hadn't just fucking shot him bc they were running out of time and he declared his undying vengeance i think they might have begrudgingly found they had quite a lot in common over time and through a LOT of hand to hand combat. Ugh. They make me insane. Stubborn little fuckers.

a 'problematic' but evergreen fave. two unsc prisoners freed and pressganged by criminals, one acting in his former capacity as a psychological professional but likely without any licensure any longer, and only with the intention to hone sharkface into a keen blade of revenge to clip some loose ends from his life to make a cleaner getaway, or at least that's what I assume. he proves to be scheming to save his own hide towards the end. BUT WHAT IF he finds an odd attachment to this broken soldier, nearly suicidal in his desires for revenge, to quiet the ghosts in his mind? either as an intellectual curiosity or personal curiosity. i like the option of sharkface trying to dig into him in return with what little he knows of the guy besides the fact that he's playing his cards very close to his vest. that contrarianism can either work against price or right into his hands, but it's about grabbing the right leads and if he misjudges, the shark will thrash free and go right for the neck...

i guess i don't have a whole lot coherent to say but i do love to chew on this weird lopsided power dynamic and toss in a bit of shipping just to see where it goes. sometimes you get a fluff blend where they're both hurting in the core of them and deciding that actually this war is stupid/doomed/worthless and fucking off together to not heal persay but find some mutual comfort is nice. it's versatile because they're both tertiary and quaternary villains in 13 so there's entirely too much grey space to fill in, even though we've known the counselor since season 6 (technically)

now THIS one i had to chew on for a while because the only canon interaction they have is Kimball witnessing his "as long as I'm alive you're all as good as dead!" speech and shooting him in the chest. 🥴

but. in a world where he's captured instead maybe. Kimball won't let him at the freelancers and he's pissed. the freelancers killed the only people that ever gave a fuck about him, so the only thing left to keep him warm is revenge. Kimball knows a thing or two about having someone kill your entire family callously without losing a wink of sleep over it. She's a lot of tough love because she has to be as a leader, as a source of courage and a beacon of hope for her troops to look towards. But that might actually work on him. She might be able to convince him that you have to keep moving forward regardless, and tearing through innocents on your way to extract a personal revenge doesn't make you any better than the people who wronged you in the first place.

He'd resist at first, refuse to listen, tell her to fuck off, because what does he have left to hold if not for that last ember of vengeance? But he was put off balance when Carolina first apologized to him. Kimball's talked to him a few times. He's got a conscience in there even if he doesn't want it and the worst part is she's right. She's right and he hates it and the more he thinks about all the kids he killed on this side for the mercs the sicker he feels, and finally decides he'll fight for them, give up intel on the mercs and take the fight right back to the guys who brought him here in the first place.

I think to be anything romantic it'd take a very very long road of shark redemption first and probably a lot of awkward "we can't possibly, she's the president of the whole planet and I'm some asshole Merc that turned sides to fight for them/i can't possibly impose, i can't ask someone out bc they'll feel obligated bc I'm the president argh power dynamic" and he's probably aiding rebuilding efforts after and maybe Kimball feels compelled to check in with him occasionally and there's a fondness there that grows slowly and maybe he finally cracks a joke and it takes her by surprise and he's never heard her laugh like that before and uh oh that did it, the dam has broken and he'll take her out on lunch dates to make sure she does take a break sometimes, and after spending so long having to worry about looking after everyone else is nice to have someone who looks after her too, and aaaa ok good job thanks you made me ship it /o\ ...jerk (affectionate)

also i was gonna like proofread this but I've been working on this for a couple hours on and off now and I'm tired so while this was VERY FUN THANK YOU i am too tired for proofreading so hopefully it's legible

#rvb sharkface #ask games #inbox games #blorbo tag #sir that's my emotional support shark #sharcus #sharklix #sharklina #sharkprice #fuck it we sharkball #i wrote that tag initially as a joke bc sharkball but honestly!!!! i talked myself into shipping it #so #fuck it we sharkball!!!!! #this is super fucking long but scroll to the end if you just want to know about sharkball

[nyxelenios]

I think when sage gets jealous he tries not to say anything cause he wants mc to be happy so he just makes a 🗿 face and tries to move on with his day. But since hes a little shit he would also subtly (not) shit on that person. "Oh them? Yeah no I heard they're not a fan of puppies :( And they're not a hot smexy merc :( and ya know I'm a total stud so I know you 2 would be a bad combo :( The stars are not in position for this no no :( Can you believe that mc? Nah you deserve better. Like uhhhhhhhh me 👀 "

Uhhh credits to Ozzy?

-egg anon (dumb bitch anon)

egg anon my dear! :D it's always lovely to get asks from you and i don't really want to let them go but alas i must

my thoughts of jealous Sage are the same SJFKDHF cut him some slack this is the first time he's genuinely started liking someone as wonderful and lovely as you :(( he wants to gatekeep you honestly since nobody deserves you including him but let's not talk about that part-

he's genuinely happy that you're making friends, meeting new people, creating relationships and maintaining them probably above your relationship with him /hj! he's partly relieved that you're settling in with people and beings that are usually uncommon on Earth

but when they even look at you wrong, which can mean many things- Sage's eye twitches. his ears flatten against his head, his tail bristles, his entire body is in attack mode. for the love of the gods MC just like me back!

but Sage is cool, Sage is calm, Sage is collected.

...not really. but! he does keep himself together and doesn't let his jealousy anger get to him. you might like him even less if he does. so! why not make you like those other people less? eh? yeah? brilliant plan! they'll dull in comparison to Sage Lesath!

and so he does carry on with his plan, by subtly shitting on the people he doesn't like being close to you SJFKDJFJD

he makes sure you "understand" that those people really just aren't on the same wavelength as you and him :( what a shame :( but they really don't like puppies :( they're not hot and smexy like you and me MC :( the stars really are not in alignment and that means you're not meant to be with them :(

they don't like kittens either MC :( they hate your favorite dishes too :( so you and them would really be bad for each other :(

you deserve someone better than them! :) huh? like who? dunno, who do you think? ;)

EUSJFJEYEUEUEUE Sage is so

i can't he's just so loveable Sage is so loveable let's face it he's the best one for you, he's your soulmate, you're his soulmate- he says the stars aren't aligned but the planets are and the planets aligned say you should definitely go for the hot smexy mercenary who likes bringing you with him to bounties and bars and the beach and the pool please say you like him too MC he's about to combust-

no thoughts, head empty, just cute petty jealous Sage ❤u❤

— cain

#nyxelenios; selene's court #sjfjshdj this is so very cute #i like this ask so much i don't want to part from it #aaaaaaa :( #last legacy fictif games #fictif games #last legacy #sage lesath #last legacy sage lesath #last legacy sage #fictif sage lesath #sage lesath fictif #fictif sage #sage last legacy

[risingsouls]

( Last one for now, hope you don't mind the spam ) 🦎 + LEAST favorite thing in RP. Trope / Trend / Whatever. I am handing you a license to be Toxic:tm:

🦎 For My Work Thots || Always Accepting!

[Ooooooooh I don't know. At least not that I've talked about and most of those like super unreadable purple prose and just OVER formatting posts doesn't seem to happen much anymore? For me personally it's just about kicking my ass back into gear and KEEPING it there, but I don't think that fits this question (I'm sorry to everyone waiting on replies to drafts or asks; I just haven't had muse or motivation to do much here ksbfbjwfbe).

I guess something recent I've been seeing that I'm just big rolling my eyes on is bashing people for literal AUs. I don't know if it's a trend or trope, but this definitely isn't the first time I've seen it. And it's silly because for starters, the people that have been on the receiving end of anons bashing their interpretation/shifting of a character, world, etc. aren't misleading them in any way. They always say, "Playing x chatacter in an AU setting of x/my design/whatever." So I don't know why they're mad anyway. I guess it's just loving a series so much that you hold it as the holy grail of writing, never to be messed with or touched or questioned even in a creative sense unless it aligns with canon perfectly enough for their tastes. Which is dumb for any series, but especially for DB which does have major issues that some people don't want to engage with on the surface.

And second, and probably most important that digs into a deeper well of what's wrong with people on the internet is like...just don't engage if you don't like what they're doing? Like it's one thing if it's problematic for very concerning reasons, but if it's just because someone has taken your favorite character or world who/that was, in your opinion, written perfectly the first time and you just don't like seeing them changed up, then that's a you problem, sweetie. Don't follow them. Block them. Hell, blacklist their url, tags, whatever. I've done that to blogs I just don't care for their content. It's easy. Maybe not a perfect system but it's THERE. There does come a time where we have to learn to self police what we see and don't see because there are always going to be people on the interwebz posting shit we don't like or, worse, that trigger us. I think plenty have gotten it together and tag things, warn people up front, etc., but there are still plenty of ignorant or willfully hateful and cruel people that post content meant to hurt people. So, unfortunately, we all have to do out own damage control where we can to keep our experience enjoyable. And if you don't like what someone is doing with an AU or a character or whatever, just don't interact. Don't waste your time trying to bully them into NOT writing what the hell they want to. They're nor hurting anyone, and if it's hurting you, again. Don't interact. Don't follow. Block and blacklist. It's that simple.]

#.:ask:. #.:ooc:. #viopolis