#my first fandom <3 i keep crawling back to it

[thot-of-khonshu]

bell bottom blues (joel miller x f!reader)

Masterlist | Ko-Fi

Summary: you're the town seamstress and you've had a crush on joel miller for ages. when he gifts you a pair of bell bottoms, you go to his house and finally confess your feelings leading to a night of whiskey and fun. Inspired by the song 'bell bottom blues' by eric clapton/derek and the dominos

Rating: M, 18+

Word count: 6.5K

Content: a fluffy smut, if you will. shy joel, joel playing guitar, age gap (20+ years), pining, miscommunication, alcohol use, dirty talk, fingering, oral (f and m receiving), unprotected sex, creampie

A/N: I've been on a bit of a writing hiatus due to work and personal obligations, plus some fandom drama. but when the bug calls, the bug calls. I hope you guys enjoy and remember to like and reblog! <3

“God I wish I had her tits.” You bemoaned, raking through an old magazine. You found it with a film of dust in the safety hideout you had all primarily used when patrolling and you just couldn’t keep your eyes away from it.

“Way to keep your eye on what’s important.” Your watch partner, Joel, deadpanned while surveying the area.

“It’s my break time so no judgment, old man.” You looked up at him from the couch you were sitting on. The door was open to let in the cool fall air and so you could converse with Joel. “I didn’t say anything when you brought your guee-tar on our last watch together.”

"Very funny." Joel drawled. "But I don't seem to recall you complainin' much when I played "Blackbird"."

You huffed, a little smile pulling at the corner of your lips as you turned the page. "That's because it's a good song."

He grinned to himself, looking out the window again. "It sure is."

You two fell into a comfortable silence while you continued to read your magazine. That was the best part about patrol days with Joel, he was a great listener and you felt comfortable confiding in him.

When he had originally shown back up to Jackson with his kind-of-daughter Ellie, nobody had really known what to make of him. You'd heard stories from your community's leader Maria since she was married to his brother, Tommy, but she had never actually met him until they had stumbled upon the commune for the first time. As far as Tommy's advice on what to make of him? "Give him some space but make sure you get to know him. He's not as bad as he might come across."

You hadn't understood at the time what he meant by that but after spending more time with him around the town you had started to figure him out. For instance, he was a great listener, a hard worker, and had a very dry sense of humor. Also, he was incredibly handsome in a rough-around-the-edges type of way. You two had fallen into a comfortable friendship whenever you'd seen each other around or had to patrol together. In the world before the outbreak, you couldn't have imagined being friendly with a man twenty years your senior. But that was the world before the outbreak, you thought, smiling a bit to yourself.

"You got something good there, darlin'?"

You glanced up at him, your heart jumping at the sudden noise after the quiet for the past half hour. You could feel a blush crawling up your neck.

"Uh, not really." You flipped the page, trying to play it cool. "I just like to look at the models and dream."

Joel turned his head to look at you, one brow raised. "Dream, huh?"

"Yup. I mean look at these bright fabrics and patterns. Can you imagine having a wardrobe with any of these colors in it?" You held up the page you were on, showing Joel the vibrant pink dress the model was wearing. It was a halter top with tight jeans and a flare at the end and the woman's long, dark hair cascaded down her shoulders. The image made you ache for a world that was long gone.

"God, I would kill for those jeans." You moaned.

"They're called bell bottoms." Joel corrected you.

You sat up, your mouth dropping open. "How did you know that?!"

He smirked at you, returning his gaze out the window. "I wasn't always an old man, ya know. I used to wear them back in the day."

"No shit?"

"No shit." He confirmed, chuckling a bit. "I was about ten when I wore 'em but those were the style back in the day. I think I had a pair in green."

You stared at him in amazement. "Can you imagine that? Green bell bottoms?"

Joel's face turned into a grimace. "More of my momma's fashion choice for Tommy and me."

You smiled fondly. "If I had a pair like these I'd stich them up and wear them out to the bar. I can't believe they made things like this."

Besides patrolling, you had also used your skills in the commune with clothing and it was no secret which one you preferred. You loved taking old, worn, and ragged pieces of clothing and fixing them up to give them a new life. The thought of being able to take something that was broken and give it new meaning and purpose was exciting and thrilling.

"You've got quite a talent, y'know. Those clothes you make look like you took them right outta the magazine." Joel said, glancing over at you. "You should be proud of yourself."

You smiled at him, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear. "Thanks, Joel. It's nice of you to say."

"Well, it's the truth."

The sound of a twig snapping approaching made the both of you jump. You sprung up and grabbed your gun. Joel was already at the door, looking out the window.

"What is it?" You asked, your hand steady on the gun.

"It's a damn deer." He said, shaking his head.

"Thank god." You sighed. You placed your gun down and joined him at the window, looking out to see the animal. The deer was grazing and seemed unconcerned about the two of you. You watched it move with a sense of tranquility and ease.

"You scared?"

You glanced up at him. His brow was creased and his lips were drawn. You realized this was the first time you'd ever been this close to Joel Miller. You took a moment to study his features. At first glance, his eyes, dark and deep, are the most captivating. They have the kind of depth that has his entire story - joy, sorrow, and everything in between. You've seen them twinkle with mischief specifically with Tommy and Ellie, and cold and impenetrable when talking to someone he doesn't particularly like.

He's got the faintest scars, a reminder of the life he lived before Jackson, and a smattering of freckles on his chest that are barely visible. You can see the fine wrinkles on his forehead and around his eyes and wonder how many times he's smiled in his lifetime and how many more smiles you could give him.

He calls your name. You shake your head, breaking yourself out of the fantasy. "No. Should I be?"

"Nah. Not with me here." He smiled.

Your stomach clenched, and you felt heat creep up the back of your neck. He kept his eyes on you, searching for a reaction.

"We should probably finish our watch." You said, tearing yourself away from the moment.

Joel stood there, unmoving. He was studying you. A silly little girl with a stupid crush, you thought. You could feel his stare but ignored it, picking up your weapon and returning to the couch.

"We should." He finally agreed.

And as much as you wanted to focus, you couldn't help but continue to study Joel when your nose wasn't in the magazine.

---------------

Joel should've known you weren't interested.

You were young, beautiful, talented, and easy-going. Even from the first day he was back in Jackson he could see the way people were drawn to you. When you walked up and talked to him for the first time he was surprised there were still people out there that were still so friendly and warm. He was so used to being the suspicious asshole, the guy who always had a plan and a reason for being, but not with you. You'd just come up and started chatting him up like he was one of your good friends, expecting nothing in return.

That's the thing about you that's always amazed him. You don't expect anything. He doesn't have to go out of his way to prove his worth to you or show you what a good man he can be. You just trust him.

When the two of you got closer than you ever had on that afternoon patrol, Joel felt a stirring in his gut he hadn't felt since Tess. The tightness in his pants was a sign, too. An unfortunate sign at the time you were supposed to be patrolling for clickers but a sign nonetheless. He'd noticed the way you'd looked at him as you watched the deer. He wasn't that old, yet. He could still recognize a spark when he saw it.

But he also saw the way other men in town looked at you. Men closer to your age, men with more to offer. Men without all the baggage and darkness and secrets. Men who could treat you right.

So, he buried the spark and kept you as his friend. It was better that way.

------------------

"Look alive, you old fucker." Tommy nudged Joel's arm, walking up to the abandoned house. They were doing a scouting mission in the outskirts of Jackson. There had been a small group of raiders spotted the night before by a patrol.

"I'm more than alive. I'm kicking your ass."

Tommy rolled his eyes, smiling. "Sure. Keep telling yourself that."

They both pulled out their guns, ready to clear the place.

"You ready?" Tommy whispered, nodding towards the door.

"Yep." Joel responded, grabbing the doorknob and opening it.

It was a pretty standard scene for a raider's camp. There were blood splatters on the floor, bullet casings, and empty cans everywhere. Joel had seen it many times before and he was certain Tommy had too.

"It's like a fucking pigsty." Tommy remarked, walking towards the stairs.

"No kiddin'." Joel responded, looking around. "I don't think anyone's here."

"Let's check the upstairs and then head home. I wanna tell Maria about this."

They checked each room upstairs. Most of the bedrooms were empty, except for one. The last room they had to check had the door locked.

"What's this?" Tommy said.

"Let's break it open." Joel suggested.

"No. We'll try to pick the lock."

"Fine." Joel said, crouching down and grabbing Ellie's bobby pin he always carried. "This won't take long."

Joel inserted the bobby pin into the keyhole, moving it around to jiggle the mechanism inside. After a minute or two he opened the door.

"Well, that's not what I was expectin'." Joel said.

"Were you expectin' blood and guts?" Tommy responded, raising his eyebrows.

"Yeah, pretty much."

The brothers surveyed the bedroom. There was dust swirling in the air and a thick layer on every surface. It looked like the room had been abandoned for a while. A queen sized bed sat against the wall with a nightstand beside it. A dresser and a full length mirror were in the corner.

"We should still check everything out, just in case." Tommy motioned Joel into the room.

They searched the area and found nothing but the normal. They were almost done when Tommy found the closet.

"What do we have here?" He said, pulling the doors open.

"Just some clothes." Joel said.

"Looks like we've got a few treasures. What's that?" Tommy pointed at the back of the closet.

Joel pushed some clothes aside and a pair of jeans with a flair at the bottom fell to the ground. "Bell bottoms."

"Well, I'll be." Tommy smiled. "Do you remember these things?"

"Yeah." Joel replied, immediately remembering your conversation.

"What're those doing all the way out here?"

"Probably left behind by the original owners." Joel mused. Without hesitation, he grabbed the pants and tucked them under his arm.

Tommy turned and looked at him, his brow furrowing. "What're you doin' with those?"

"Gonna bring 'em home."

"To who?" Tommy had a shit-eating grin on his face. "Last time I checked those ain't really Ellie's style. I could think of someone who might be able to fix those up, though."

Joel's gaze shot to his brother. He glared at him. "Don't you dare."

Tommy raised his hands, surrendering. "All right, all right. I won't say a word. But I'm sure she'll love 'em. You could bring her a goddamn necklace full of teeth and she'd love it because it's from you."

Joel's heart raced at the implication. "What're you talkin' about?"

Tommy rolled his eyes. "Jesus Christ, Joel. Let's just get outta here so you can give her the goddamn pants."

------------------

Joel stood outside of the door to your house, the bell bottoms neatly folded in his hand. He could hear you rustling around inside and was nervous to knock.

"You can do this, old man." He told himself.

He knocked on the door, a quick rapping sound, and stepped back.

A second later, the door opened, and his face dropped. You hadn't answered the door. Instead, it was Nick, a tall, handsome young man who works at the stables. He had the kind of face that Joel used to see in cheesy teen movies he would bring Sarah to see. He had a strong jawline, sandy blonde hair, and broad shoulders. He looked at Joel and then down to the pants.

"Can I help you, Mr. Miller?"

Mr. Miller. Jesus Christ.

"Uh...." Christ and he couldn't even find his words. "I came by to uh..."

"Joel?" Your voice cut through his thoughts. He could see the confusion on Nick's face when you walked up. You smiled at Joel warmly, like a ray of sunshine. "Hi."

"Hey, darlin'." Joel smiled, his nerves disappearing.

"What are you doing here?"

"Oh, I was just bringing these by." He said, holding out the pants to you. "I, uh, found 'em and thought maybe you could work some of your magic."

Your face lit up. "These are bell bottoms! Are you serious? Where did you find these?"

Joel could feel the smirk tugging at his lips. "Out and about. Tommy and I cleared a place the other day and found 'em."

"Joel, this is incredible!" You looked at him, your face shining with excitement as you went in to hug him. He was frozen, the warmth and scent of your body enveloping him. "I can't wait to get started."

"I'm glad you're happy."

You pulled away, giving him a quick smile before turning back to Nick. Joel could see his face drop a bit, and his stomach tightened.

"You can keep them here and work on them tomorrow. We've got a dinner date tonight." Nick said, wrapping his arm around your waist and pulling you close. Your eyes remained on Joel, though and your hands stayed at your sides.

Joel's chest ached. You were going on a date. With Nick. A boy, not a man. And not him.

"I, uh, don't want to hold ya'll up." Joel said, taking a step back. "Enjoy your night."

"Thanks, Joel." You said. He could feel you studying his face.

"Yes, thank you, sir." Nick added.

Joel nodded, turned, and walked away.

------------------

"....and then nobody else could catch that thing but there I was, deep into the lake with that fucking fish." Nick said, taking another sip of his drink. "I had no idea how I was gonna catch it but I couldn't let it go. So, I just dove in after it."

Nick was going on and on about some story that you couldn't even remember how it was brought up In the first place. You just knew Nick liked to talk about himself. A lot.

A lot of girls in Jackson had liked Nick. He was young, handsome, charming, and worked hard. He had the potential to be a catch for any single woman, but that didn't mean he was yours.

But then he showed up on your doorstep earlier that day with a charming smile and asked to come In. He'd told you he was interested in you and wanted to get to know you better. You were hesitant, especially considering the feelings you had for someone else, but you'd also remembered what had happened on your last patrol with Joel. You knew you couldn't compare with an older, sophisticated woman that might come his way one day. So, you accepted. What's the point in waiting on a fantasy?

You excused yourself to go to the bathroom when you'd heard someone knock on your door and Nick open it. You were annoyed at the immediate audacity he had to open your door without asking but then heard a familiar voice. Joel's.

You rushed out of the bathroom to see him standing there with fabric on his arm.

"These are bell bottoms!" You'd said excitedly. "Are you serious?"

And when you went to hug him, his body was tense and frozen. But the smell of him, a mix of pine and tobacco, filled your nostrils. And for a brief moment you'd imagined yourself pressed against his chest and kissing him.

That feeling only intensified when he looked at you. His face was a mixture of pain and jealousy and you realized that maybe he had felt something for you, too. But it was too late. He'd turned away and left.

It was the sweetest gesture and you couldn't even properly thank him because Nick had interrupted and ended the conversation about your date. You hated the way he slid his hand around your waist, it was such a gross power move. He acted like he owned you before he had even bothered to take you to dinner.

You tried to stay present with Nick but he wasn't making it easy. He had barely asked you about yourself, but you also were guilty of not engaging much.

"What do you think, doll?"

"What?" You snapped out of your thoughts, looking up at him. "I'm sorry, what did you say?"

"About the lake? The fish? The dive?"

"Oh." You'd said, a wave of relief coming over you. "Wow, that's a crazy story. I'm sure the whole lake was shocked."

"They sure were." He laughed.

You forced a smile, looking down at your half-eaten meal.

"You know, I think you're the most beautiful girl in Jackson...." Nick started as your eyes started to wander across the room. You kept scanning for Joel to see if he was coming to have dinner in the dining room but he wasn't there.

You kept looking around until you saw Ellie, she was saying something to Dina and laughing and then heading out.

"Ellie!" You called out. She turned around and smiled, walking over.

"Hey! What's up?" You looked at the plates she had wrapped up and her heart sank.

"Just saying hi. I see you're wearing the flannel I fixed up." You pointed out.

"Yep, I love it." Ellie smiled, holding her arms out to showcase it. "Thanks again. Joel was happy you helped."

"Where is he, by the way?" You tried to act as nonchalant as possible but you heard Nick scoff.

"He's at home, actually. He wasn't feeling too well so I'm gonna drop him off some food before I come back to hang with Dina and Jesse."

You frowned. "Oh."

"If you'll both excuse me, I gotta use the John." Nick said, standing up. Not even remotely pretending he was interested in the conversation.

"He seems like a keeper." Ellie deadpanned.

"The kind of boy you bring home to your mother." You rolled your eyes, and she snickered.

"Is there a reason you're asking about Joel?" Ellie inspected you. For someone who was so young, she had a knack on picking up on things like that. And she had absolutely no filter about it.

"No." You shrugged. "He was just at my place earlier and gave me some bell bottoms. I just wanted to check on him."

"Ooooh." Ellie's eyes sparkled with mischief.

"Stop." You said, glaring at her.

She turned her hands up in defense. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry. But all I'm gonna say is this, if you wanna check on him I don't think he's going anywhere all night and I'm sure he'd appreciate some company. Especially your company."

"Thanks, El." You beamed at her.

"Anytime. Enjoy the rest of your date."

You smiled, watching her leave the dining room.

Your stomach was still in knots and your nerves were going haywire, but you had made up your mind. You were going to visit Joel.

When you got up to talk to Nick and you saw him leaning down on another table to talk to another girl, It was clear he had made up his mind too.

-----------------

Joel strummed his guitar on the front porch, a glass of whiskey sitting beside him. His leftover plate from Ellie was next to him.

He had decided to eat at home instead of eating in the dining room because he couldn't deal with the embarrassment of seeing you again, especially across the table from another man.

So, he ate and played his guitar and drank his whiskey.

It was starting to get dark, and the stars were becoming visible. Joel was trying to focus on the stars instead of thinking about you. But it was hard, especially when he could hear the laughter and conversations going on in town.

He picked his guitar back up and started to strum.

Bell bottom blues, you made me cry

I don't want to lose this feeling

And if I could choose a place to die

It would be in your arms

He continued to sing, closing his eyes and focusing on the song.

I don't want to fade away

Give me one more day, please

I don't want to fade away

In your heart I want to stay

"Nice song."

Joel straightened up and peered out into the darkness. He saw you walking up towards his porch, a shy smile on your face.

"Didn't mean to interrupt." You said, climbing the stairs. He couldn't help but notice how beautiful you looked, even in the dim light. You had your hair down and a thin sweater covering a flowy dress. He could make out the shape of your body and the curves of your breasts, and the way the dress fell at your hips. He cursed himself for noticing and then cursed the fact that his cock stirred when he did.

"You're not." He said, standing up and putting his guitar down. "How was your date?"

You sat down next to him, taking a sip of his whiskey while rolling your eyes.

"Well, he talked a lot. I talked a little. He was rude and didn't ask about me. And I was really distracted."

Joel grunted in acknowledgment and continued to strum as the two of you fell into a warm silence.

"What's the song you're playing?" You asked.

Joel took a deep sigh. He knew once he told you, it was over. He couldn't lie to you.

But fuck It, he'd had some whiskey and it was now or never.

"The song is called 'Bell Bottom Blues', actually."

"Interesting." You mused, leaning back in your chair. "What's the song about?"

Joel stopped strumming. He looked at you, and you were staring at him.

"It's about a guy who has this woman. He knows that they could be great together. She makes him feel happy and good, and everything that a man wants. But the problem is, she doesn't want him."

"Well, that's depressing as shit."

"Yeah." He chuckled, his heart heavy. "It's depressing, but it's also true."

"So, she doesn't love him."

"Right."

"But why doesn't she love him?"

"Because he's old. He's not her type. And he's just a grumpy sonofabitch."

"Who wrote this song?"

"Eric Clapton."

"Well, did this Eric Clapton guy know he wasn't her type or did he just assume she thought he was a grumpy sonofabitch?"

"He assumed."

"Okay. So, maybe the girl is just confused."

"Or maybe she's just not attracted to him."

"I don't know about that. I'd be attracted to a man like that. If he was honest with me and treated me right. That's the important part."

"Yeah, I guess so." Joel replied, his heart racing.

"You guess so? You're an interesting man, Joel Miller."

"I've been told." He smirked, taking another sip of his whiskey. "So, why did you come here?"

You stared at him, a small smile tugging at the corners of your lips.

"Well, I came here to properly thank you but now that I'm here I think I'll just drink some more of your whiskey and listen to you play more about how wrong this Eric Clapton is."

Joel laughed. He looked at you and saw the warmth radiating from your face. He couldn't believe his luck.

"Whatever the lady wants."

"The lady does indeed want." You beamed, and Joel got up and opened the door inside, leading you in.

"All right, darlin', come on in."

--------------------

After a few more glasses of whiskey, you were feeling warmer and relaxed.

Shyness had gone completely out of the window and you were curled up next to Joel, a blanket over the two of you as he strummed the guitar. You were close enough that his knee was against yours. You could feel the heat between you and it made your head spin.

You leaned into him and rested your head against his shoulder. He smelled so good, and the warmth of his body radiated onto yours.

"I'm glad I'm here." You whispered.

"I'm glad you're here, too."

"Joel...Do you think I'm like the girl in the song?"

Joel paused. He put the guitar down and turned to you.

"Well, first of all, you're not a girl." He whispered, his voice low in your ear. "You're a woman."

You closed your eyes, feeling a shiver run down your spine.

"And secondly, I don't think you're anything like the girl in the song. At least, I hope not."

"I'm not." You assured him, your voice soft.

"Then why did you ask?"

"I just want to make sure you're not writing me off because of a song. I'm not some immature girl. I like the way I feel around you, and I'm not afraid to tell you anymore."

"Anymore, huh?" Joel asked. He moved his hand, placing it on your hand. You could feel the warmth and roughness of his palm. "So, if I were to kiss you, would that scare you away?"

"Not at all." You whispered, turning to him. Your eyes met and you could see the fire behind his. You'd seen that fire before, but never so close.

"Good."

Joel placed his hands on your cheeks and brought his lips to yours. Your body stung with excitement and you melted into him, wrapping your arms around his neck.

His beard tickled your skin, but the softness of his lips against yours made your body ache. You kissed the open patches in his beard you had daydreamed about kissing and ran your hands through his hair.

There was no chasteness in your kiss, thanks to the whiskey. Instead, you slipped your tongue into Joel's mouth as he groaned.

He pulled back for a moment, staring at you.

"This is not what I thought would happen." He admitted.

"Me neither." You grinned. "Should we stop? What time is Ellie coming home?"

"She's stayin' the night with Dina actually."

"Well, if that's the case. I should really thank you properly for that gift you showed up with."

Joel's eyes lit up.

"I'll accept whatever thank yous you have."

"I bet you will."

You straddled him, looking down at him as he kept his hands safely on your waist. You could tell he was restraining himself, always the gentleman, but you were tired of holding back how you felt.

You kissed him, hard, and bit his lip, eliciting a groan from him.

"Fuck." He growled, his fingers digging into your waist, pulling you down further onto his lap as you felt his hardening cock against you. You grinded down onto him, and fell into a rhythm while you kissed him and he gripped your waist tighter.

You removed your cardigan and Joel's hands instantly moved up your torso, toying with your straps.

"Joel...it's okay." You grabbed his hand and removed your dress straps with him. Your dress fell, revealing your breasts, and Joel's eyes darkened with an intensity he'd only saved for a hunt. You felt like his prey, and it only made you more aroused.

Joel's hand came up, gently cupping your breasts.

"You're so fuckin' beautiful." He murmured, rubbing his thumbs over your nipples. The sensation shot right to your pussy and your hips continued to move in reaction.

You started to undo the buttons on his shirt, and he helped, throwing it to the side. You pulled him closer, feeling his hot chest against yours, his muscles tense and his arms around you. You kissed his neck, and his collarbone, and then kissed his chest.

You could hear his heavy breathing as you trailed your hands down his torso and his cock strained against his jeans.

"Joel." You whispered, moving off him to kneel in front of him.

"You don't have to." He said, looking at you with a pained expression. You could tell he was still trying to be a gentleman and hold back, but you were done holding back with how much you wanted him.

"I want to. I want you." You said as you slipped his jeans off. His erection was prominent through his boxers and you could see the wetness at the tip of his cock.

Joel let out a soft groan, watching you take off his boxers. His cock sprang free, and he hissed as the cool air hit him.

You had been guilty of spending nights thinking about what Joel Miller would feel like on top of you, inside you and in your mouth. But nothing could prepare you for the real thing.

His cock was thick, a beautiful length with a slight curve. Precum was leaking from his tip, and you wrapped your hands around his base, stroking him up and down.

"Jesus." Joel groaned. You felt his hand reach out, gently grabbing the back of your head and guiding you closer. You licked the precum off his tip and he moaned.

You licked down his length and then took his cock into your mouth. Joel's breath caught, and his fingers tightened in your hair.

"That feels so good." He said, his voice gravelly and low. You took more of him in your mouth, swirling your tongue around his head and hollowing out your cheeks. Joel's hand pushed down a little harder and he let out a moan.

"Am I bein' too rough?" Joel asked with concern.

You looked up at him with full eye contact, your pupils blown. You started to ease his cock further into your mouth until you could feel his tip at your throat. You stayed there, and then started to move slowly up and down, the pressure from your tongue making Joel gasp.

"Jesus Christ, girl." He whispered, and then he started to push his hips upward, meeting you as you bobbed on his cock. His thrusts became faster, and his breath caught in his throat. You could tell he was getting close and you wanted nothing more than to feel him lose control in your mouth.

Suddenly, Joel's hand left the back of your head, and his cock left your mouth. You looked up at him with a dazed expression and watched as he stood up.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothin' is wrong." He growled. "Take off your dress and get on the couch."

You got up and slowly peeled off the rest of your clothes, his eyes never left your body. You saw his chest rise and fall with each breath as the two of you stood for a moment, studying each other's naked bodies.

Joel stepped forward and kissed you, hard. His tongue found yours and you tangled together, tasting each other. He grabbed your ass and pulled you closer to him, his cock pushing against you.

"Get on the couch, baby." He ordered, his voice gruff. "Let me fuck you."

You lay down on the couch, spreading your legs. You had been dripping wet since you'd first straddled him, and now, it was dripping down your thighs and you couldn't help but run your fingers through it.

"Fuck. You are so goddamn beautiful." He said, his voice a low grunt. He knelt down and took a finger, running it through your wetness and then pushing it inside of you.

You gasped, the sensation of his thick finger hitting you differently than your own. He pushed a second finger inside of you, feeling an overwhelming stretch.

"You're so fuckin' tight. I gotta make sure you can take me." He said, pushing his fingers deeper inside you and curling them up. You gasped, arching your back as his fingers hit a spot inside of you that you can't normally reach.

You bucked your hips towards him. "I used to dream about what your fingers would feel like inside of me."

"Is that right, baby?" Joel asked. He added a third finger and the pressure was almost unbearable, he moved at a faster pace and the sounds of his fingers pushing in and out of your wetness were filling the room.

"I'm so close." You whined, bucking your hips against him. But he could feel it, he could feel your tightness clenching around his fingers.

He positioned himself quickly to lean in and suck on your clit. It was gentle, and his beard brushed against the skin around it. It was the final thing to send you over the edge, and you came hard.

"Joel." You moaned as you reached your climax, arching your back and riding his fingers. You could feel the wave of pleasure rolling over you as you gripped his hair. He slowed his pace and then pulled his fingers out, wiping his face.

"Did I do okay?" He asked, looking at you, and you saw the softness behind his eyes.

"You did better than okay. Take me to your bedroom?"

Joel nodded, picking you up and carrying you upstairs.

-------------------------

Joel laid you down gently on his bed and stood, looking down at you, stroking his cock.

He climbed on top of you and leaned down to kiss you. You could feel his hard cock against your stomach.

"Are you ready, darlin'?" He whispered in your ear, nibbling your lobe.

"Mmm, please." You murmured, lifting your hips towards him.

Joel grabbed his cock and rubbed his head along your wetness. He pushed it inside of you, slowly, and groaned.

"Fuck, you're tight." He muttered, his body stiffening. He eased himself in further, the stretch of his cock was intense, but the feeling of fullness was unlike anything you'd ever experienced.

You felt him start to move his hips and you arched your back, taking him deeper as you opened your legs wider.

You could feel him deep inside you, hitting that same spot he'd touched earlier. Your hips bucked against his and the sound of the slapping of his hips against yours echoed in the room.

He was breathing heavily and his eyes were half-closed.

"You're so tight. Jesus Christ, you feel so good." He moaned. "Like you were meant to take my cock."

"I want it all." You whimpered, grabbing his ass to pull him closer. "I want it deep."

"God damn, baby." Joel grabbed your legs and placed them over his shoulders, giving him a better angle to thrust deeper. He slammed into you and the feeling of him against the back of your walls and the way his pubic bone pressed against your clit made you gasp.

"You wanted it deep like this?" He growled, his grip on your thighs tightening, the slapping of your skin and your moans getting louder.

"Yes." You gasped, feeling yourself reaching another climax. "Oh fuck, I'm cumming again."

You felt your walls tighten around his cock, and he moved down to press his thumb on your clit. He pressed and swirled his thumb against you, and the sensation was overwhelming. You came hard, moaning and writhing beneath him.

He slowed his thrusts as you rode out your orgasm.

"Fuck, I can feel you cummin' all over my cock." He murmured, his voice low. "It feels so fuckin' good. It feels so fuckin' good, darlin'. You're gonna make me cum."

His thrusts were becoming sloppy and frantic, and his breathing was coming faster. You were so sensitive and each thrust made your body twitch.

Neither of you had said it but you had both had the desire to have him cum inside you. You wanted to feel all of him and the thought of him filling you with his cum while you looked like a pornstar underneath him turned Joel on more than he'd like to admit.

"Cum in me." You pleaded, and that was enough. Joel's head fell back and he moaned, his body twitching.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck." He said, slowing his thrusts as his cum dripped down his cock and into you. You could feel him cumming, his cum hot and thick inside of you.

He stayed still for a few moments, the room filled with the sound of the two of you catching your breaths. Then he slowly pulled out, watching as his cum mixed with yours, dripping out of you and onto his sheets.

In one final move, he took two fingers and took your dripping cum to thrust it back inside of you.

You watched him, dazed and exhausted. He got up, panting and dazed and left the room for a few moments. When he returned, he had your clothes in one hand, and a towel and a glass of water in the other.

He placed your clothes on the floor and handed you the water. You gulped it down while he cleaned you off. You winced a bit, feeling the warm washcloth between your legs and Joel looked up at you with concern.

"Did I hurt you?" He asked, his voice low.

"Not in a bad way." You grinned.

Joel smirked and lay down next to you, pulling the blanket over the two of you. He put an arm around you and pulled you into him.

You rested your head on his chest and ran your fingers along the grooves of his muscles.

"I think this was a better gift than the bell bottoms." You joked.

Joel laughed and kissed the top of your head.

"I don't know, I did go through a raider camp for those jeans. That was pretty heroic and dangerous."

"Yes, Joel Miller, you are a hero in the name of fashion." You yawned, nestling into him. You could hear the steady beating of his heart and felt his chest rising and falling with his breathing.

You closed your eyes and were starting to drift off when Joel's voice brought you back.

"Hey."

"Yeah?"

"Thank you for comin' over and doing somethin' I was too chicken shit on doing for a long time."

You smiled.

"Don't worry, I'm here to do the things we're both scared to do. You just have to promise to keep the whiskey and the bell bottoms comin'."

"It's a deal." Joel kissed your head again and pulled you in closer.

You drifted off to sleep, content and safe in Joel's arms. Finally feeling the relief and acceptance of what you had tried to ignore for so long.

And the feeling of Joel's arms around you felt more like home than you could ever imagine.

#joel miller x y/n #joel miller x you #joel miller fanfiction #joel miller smut #joel miller x reader #joel miller #the last of us smut #the last of us fanfiction #joel miller x f!reader #tlou hbo #hbo tlou #the last of us #pedro pascal #pedro pascal character fanfiction #pedro pascal characters #pedro pascal smut #pedro pascal x reader #pedro pascal x you

[natailiatulls07]

Do you have anymore platonic fics in those drafts of yours 👀

The f1 fandom has a severe drought of those and your my supplier lol

The Menace

Austin Butler x female!reader Formula one grid & female!driver!reader

Summary - After Y/n’s boyfriend cheated on her, she really had that post break up glow!!

Warning - swearing, alcohol, cheating, break ups

A/n - Your wish is my command, currently sat in the hairdressers with toner on lolll 😚

Few notes -

1. No shame to Austin Butler

2. Face claim is Kaia Gerber

3. Reader drives for Ferrari, taking Carlos’ spot

-

f1gossip

Rumour has it: Ferrari driver Y/n L/n and her boyfriend, actor Austin Butler have been rumoured to be broken up after Butler was seen in a club just outside of London Soho. L/n had to dnf from the Sunday race in São Paulo last weekend after her car suffered some mechanical damage in the formation lap.

Liked by username and 2,836 others

username After the season Y/n had this year in Ferrari, she doesn’t deserve this!!!

username Oooo he has fucked up!

= username Lost a rare find, he’ll never find one like herrrr

username Y/n just get with me, I’ll treat you right😚

f1gossip

Rumour has it: After it was rumoured that Ferrari driver Y/n L/n and actor Austin Butler had broken up, L/n was seen this morning supposedly with bloodshot and puffy eyes on the streets of not so sunny Monte Carlo. With a few days to go until the new Las Vegas Grand Prix, how will Y/n spend her short time off?

Liked by username and 3,922 others

username Poor girl is going through a breakup but paparazzi still want to barge into her busy, disgusting 😒

username She still slays tho!!

username I would say she’ll get redemption in Vegas but with the car atm I highly doubt

= username AGREED

username Hoping for a post break up glow 🥹

= username OMFG CAN YOU IMAGINE 🥵🤤

scuderiaferrari

Las Vegas…we’re coming for you

Liked by f1 and 87,926 others

username Hoping for a good Ferrari weekend pleaseee

username After Y/n’s break up she deserves a miracle this weekend 🙌🏻

username Charles what are you wearing??? 😃

username Just wait it we all see Austin crawling back for her, just you wait!!

username Polar opposites, Charles all dressed up and Y/n keeping it simple but effective

username Please someone beat Max and get first PLEASEEE

yourusername

Any boys in Las Vegas, I’m here early but please no Elvis 🤮

Liked by georgerussell and 107,936 others

username YOOO MISS GURL

username She really out here shaming him publicly. Love it 😍

landonorris And this is why we call you the menace

= yourusername So glad I live up to the name 😋

username austinbutler Look what you missed out on loll

username Not her mentioning his biggest role and then putting a throwing up emoji next to it LMAO

maxverstappen1 Y/n don’t get to crazy

= yourusername No promises 😇

= danielricciardo She is definitely going to get black out drunk tonight omfg

= maxverstappen1 100%

austinbutler

Never really liked red Ferrari, it’s tacky and old fashioned

Liked by username and 54,926 others

username Oh shit he’s fighting back!!

username Their pr teams are gonna be so annoyed with both of them frrr

username Patiently waiting for mother to put him in his rightful spot 😌

yourusername Everyone is a ferrari fan, even if they say they’re not, they are Ferrari fans - Sebastian Vettel 😚

~~ Liked by sebastianvettel and 123,037 others

username OMFG SHE SNAPPED BACKKK

username The Menace is back at it again!! 🙌🏻🙌🏻

charles_leclerc Sort yourself out mate

~~ Liked by yourusername and 109,935 others

username Not both Ferrari drivers clapping back LMAO

yourusername

Babes get over yourself 🍾

Liked by lewishamilton and 113,025 others

username Girl really said ‘Calm your fucking ego down’ 🙌🏻

username LOVING THIS 🤍🤍

username Hot ass female driver and some random drivers

sebastianvettel Loved see the grid again, thank you

= yourusername Always 🫶🏻

username austinbutler

username You just know that Y/n and Lewis were best dressed there!! Hands down!!

mickschumacher You definitely brought the party 👏🏻👏🏻

= yourusername It’s my job Mickey!!

username THE CAPTION She really is the menace!!! 🤩

f1 posted a story

username FERRARI DRIVERS ARE SERVING CUNT OMFG 😍😍

username Y/n is really showing her really style and I’m living for itttt

username THE HAIR SUNGLASSES MAKEUP AND WHOLE OUTFIT 🥵🥵

username Charles really let her have spot light and rightfully so!!!

username Austin really fumbleddd

-

#formula one #formula one x reader #lando norris #charles leclerc #max verstappen #daniel ricciardo #carlos sainz #oscar piastri #sebastian vettel #lewis hamilton #yuki tsunoda #george russell #pierre gasly #mick schumacher #ferrari racing #scuderia ferrari #forza ferrari #ferrari #ferrari f1 #austin butler #austin butler x reader #formula one x y/n #formula 1 #formula racing #lando norris x reader #charles leclerc x reader #max verstappen x reader #carlos sainz x reader #daniel riccardo x reader #oscar piastri x reader

[smusherina]

yard work - chapter 9 (regina george x reader)

fandom: Mean Girls (all media)

pairing: Regina George x OFC/Reader

summary: You'd been in the same class as Regina George since kindergarten. You'd lived on the same street even longer. Once upon a time, when life was sandbox disputes and who got the swing first arguments, you'd even been friends. Now, in junior year of high school, you doubted she even remembered you. The same couldn't be said about you. You definitely remembered her.

warnings(s): use of the d-slur, the one for lesbians. use of the q-slur, the one that’s been taken back.

chapter 1 / chapter 2 / chapter 3 / chapter 4 / chapter 5 / chapter 6 / chapter 7 / chapter 8 / chapter 10

You lost track of time, mind consumed by Regina's mouth on yours. The feel of her lips, her hands playing with the hairs at the back of your neck, made you tingle. You didn't know much about actual technique when it came to kissing, but taking cues from and mirroring Regina seemed to work. When she opened her mouth and bit your bottom lip, you chanced a little tongue. Met with welcome, the kiss deepened. The sensations had you shivering, hands gripping tightly at Regina's waist.

"Bed, now," Hazy and a little slow, you chased Regina when she pulled away, making a pathetic little sound at the loss of her. She stood up and pulled you with her, roughly pushing you onto your back. Sprawled on the bed, you could only watch as she climbed over you. Soon, her lips descended down on yours again and your eyes blinked shut.

Then, startling you like a bucket of cold water thrown onto you, her hands snuck under your shirt. Her nails brushed at your ribs and you, despite the nervous excitement bubbling, began to feel apprehensive.

"Reg," You mumbled, hands moving from her shoulders to her upper arms. "Reg, I- hold on."

"What?" She kissed down your cheeks to your neck.

"Hold on, I-" Your breath hitched, the tickle of her lips in such a sensitive place hindering your ability to speak. "I don't wanna have sex."

As if shaken from a trance, Regina pulled away abruptly. Her hands slid out of your shirt and rested on either side of your torso, looming above you. The dim, warm tinted lamp light from the nightstand made her hair, hanging around you, seem like a halo. Or a canopy.

"You don't want to have sex." She said, voice a little hoarse and eyes betraying something until she pulled the shutters closed. "You're lucky I'm letting you get this far."

You stared up at her, stunned. "What? Letting me? You're on top of me."

"I know you want this. You've been wanting this for a long time. I've seen the way you look at me, the way you act around me." She spoke fast as if she was trying to convince both you and herself.

Panic was beginning to constrict around your throat. It took a while to find your voice.

"Reg, I'm sorry, but-"

"You should be sorry." She crawled away from on top of you and stood up. You leaned up on your elbows to keep looking at her. "You should be so sorry."

"I- I am," You tried to reassure her, tried to hold down your own hurt. "I just thought this was a little fast."

She rolled her eyes at you, though the action seemed jilted. "You've been pining the whole time we've been friends, I'd say it's been long enough. And now, when you have all you want offered to you, you reject it."

"Is this what this is about? Rejection? Regina, I just meant not yet."

"You're so fucking full of yourself." She accused, pointing a finger at you. The whole display was made weaker by the glistening in her eyes and the redness covering her from neck to ears.

"You think you can walk into my life, cause all sorts of chaos, take my family from me, and then reject me?" She hissed, gesturing with her arms all the while. You swallowed, unsure of what you should do.

She was firing insults at you and the only thing you could think to do was sit there and take it.

"Chaos? I'm not trying to take your family from you, Reggie, where's this coming from?" You stood up, feeling too awkward to be on the bed.

"You think I haven't seen the way you act around my mom or my sister? You want to be me so bad, you're acting like they're your family. They're mine and you're never gonna have them! You're never gonna have a family!"

You reeled back, offended by the uncalled-for insult.

"You have the gall to come to my home, my family's Thanksgiving dinner, acting all holier than thou meanwhile Kylie fawns over you and mom dotes on you."

"Are you jealous? They love you, Regina." Your ability to argue was getting flimsier by the minute, the stinging in your eyes inhibiting any power you could've drawn from.

"Jealous? You think I'm fucking jealous? I have everything and you have nothing!"

"I don't think that's true, Reg. I think that you're hurt and saying things you don't mean."

"You always put words in my mouth, try to manipulate me and change me into someone you think I should be. I'm good the way I am!"

"Change can be good, Reg, I just-"

"God, you're actually so insufferable. Genuinely, I cannot stand to be around you. I hate you." She turned away from you, hands going to her hair and tugging. "I don't need to change. I hate that you try to make me. I hate that you've already done it, with your fucked up mind games."

You blinked rapidly and breathed in deeply, trying to stay calm. She was just being destructive because she was hurt. She didn't mean any of it. She was just earlier kissing you. Didn't that count for something?

"I don't play mind games. I just wish you were kinder."

"You wish I was this and that, and what about me?" She whirled around and strode up to you. "I am this way. I am not kind, I'm not soft, and I thrive."

"Are you thriving, Reg?"

"Do not call me what stupid name!" She yelled, getting right in your face. You flinched back, startled and scared. "Oh, you're gonna cry now that your other tactics don't work anymore? I see right through you, you freak."

"Don't yell at me, Reggie." You said, biting your lip to keep it from trembling. You wiped at your eyes furiously. "I'm sorry, okay, for rejecting you, for trying to change you. I didn't mean to manipulate you."

"I'll do whatever the fuck I want to you." She hissed. "I'll fucking ruin your life. I'll tell people you're a lesbian and what you tried to do to me."

"What?" You breathed. "What do you mean? What I tried to do to you- do you hear yourself?"

"I hear myself, jorts, and so will everybody else when I tell them what a disgusting, perverse little dyke you are."

You wouldn't have described it as something snapping, but you'd had enough by then. It stung, hearing that from her, of all people. It stung more than you liked to admit because you knew her.

You knew she didn't mean it, she was lashing out, and desperately trying to cling to the power she'd lost the moment she'd been vulnerable with you- kissed you.

You didn't want to feel it, so you were mean instead.

"Just like you did to Janis then. Did you kiss her too and when you got scared you decided to ruin her life. Is that how it went?" You laughed bitterly and before she could interrupt, went on. "Is that how you're gonna live your life, Regina? Anytime you feel those dirty, lesbian urges you'll use some innocent bystander to sate your lust and then, because they know too much, you ruin them? Sounds very sustainable."

"How dare you accuse me of being that," Her face was scrunched in anger, red like the devil.

"Oh, I dare, I seem to recall you were just kissing me, on top of me, hands up my shirt. You're not fooling anybody, Reg, you're a filthy queer just like me." You were aiming to hurt now, wanting her to feel like you did. "The truth is, Regina, that you fucking hate yourself. You hate yourself and you just don't know what to do with yourself so you make everybody around you feel the exact same way."

"No, that's not true, I-" Seeing her face crumble, her posture turn defensive, stoked the fire of your anger. You wanted her to hurt, wanted to punish her for leaving you back then and insulting you now.

"You're like some shitty reincarnation of Heather Chandler, all high and mighty until you're inevitably toppled by some nobody you were so sure was so below you that they couldn't even pose a threat."

"Great film analysis there, loser." Regina quipped weakly, already backing down. You weren't done, though.

"It's only a matter of time before Cady Heron pours you a glass of drain cleaner too, and I'll be looking forward to the day." You sniped, watching as Regina's lip curled in an exaggerated show of being unaffected. You knew her. You knew she'd seen Heathers and you knew the parallels weren't pleasing to the eye. You knew you were going too far, but you couldn't stop.

"You think you're such a martyr, you think that-"

"I thought we were friends, Regina! All I wanted was to be your friend. Sure, I liked you, but that didn't have to mean anything until you kissed me."

"It meant something the whole time! You can't act like it was nothing, our whole friendship is tainted by it!"

"Get over yourself, Regina, you could've ignored it like you do every flaw you have!"

"I don't have flaws, I'm above that." She scoffed, but the tremor in her voice told you that even she didn't think that was true. "I'm doing everyone a favour by showing who's on top."

"Who are you? A fucking dictator? Is that how you truly see yourself? Because I see a scared little girl, confused and angry, taking it out on the easiest targets."

"Nobody gets to feel okay when I feel like this! It's not fair! It's not fair they get to be happy and I have to be like this all the time! I hate this and they deserve it!"

You fought to ignore your heart breaking for her, how her words and obvious cries for help made you want to bleed for her. You'd stood idly and let her hurt you for long enough, it was about time you stood up for yourself.

"Oh, well, I'm so sorry then. I'm starting to fucking get Janis. Maybe I could've come up with the Homecoming sprinkler prank myself. Maybe I should've let you use the lard for your face."

You regretted it the moment the words left your lips.

A beat, both of you staring at each other, faces slack and chests heaving from all the screaming, regret and betrayal swirling in the air like a toxic tornado, passed.

"You knew?" Regina whispered, suddenly so quiet the wind from your sails wooshed away. "You knew and you didn't tell me?"

"I... I did." You looked down. Fuck. You'd fucked up. You'd insinuated you wanted to see her die. You didn't want that at all. Tears sprung to your eyes again and you pressed the heels of your palms to them.

Could this even be fixed at this point? You should've just shut up and it wouldn't have escalated like this. You knew why she'd reacted the way she did, you knew, but you hadn't been able to stay level-headed when she'd started coming at you.

"Get out." She spoke normally, volume steady. She was shaking, you could see that even with your faltering vision.

"I'm sorry, Reg, I really am. I should've told you. I shouldn't have said those things to you. I'm sorry."

"I said get out."

Unable to hold it any longer, a sob burst out and you decided to leave before you humiliated yourself any further. You grabbed your overnight bag and practically ran out of the room.

You should've been quieter because Mrs George came to see who was stomping down the stairs so late. She had a wine glass in hand, a silken robe tied at her waist, and a worried look on her face.

"Oh, hi, I packed some leftovers for you to- oh, honey, what's wrong?"

"It's- it's nothing, Mrs George." You hiccuped and looked away, embarrassed by your crying. You couldn't look her in the eye. Did you want her to be your mom? Did it matter when Regina clearly saw it that way even if it wasn't true? Taking any comfort from her now felt like proving her right.

"It doesn't seem like nothing. Why don't we go sit and you can tell me what happened. Did Regina say something mean?"

"I don't wanna talk about it, please."

Mrs George sighed. "There's leftovers in the fridge for you." She lingered as you passed. "Honey?"

"What?" Usually, you didn't have the heart to be so rude to her.

"You're welcome here anytime." She smiled at you gently. Clearly, she was experienced in dealing with volatile teenagers. You turned and headed for the kitchen.

Walking home, bag on your shoulder and various containers of delicious food in your arms, you felt numb. You'd left through the garage door, grabbing your clothes from the mudroom as you went, but you still had on the sweatpants.

Tears dried on your cheeks, eyes swollen and nose stuffy, you didn't know what to do. Snow was falling and the streetlights made the scene look more beautiful than was warranted. You felt empty, hollowed out like you'd spilt your guts, heart, and most other internal organs on the floor of Regina's bedroom.

You got home, put the leftovers in the fridge, and stood in the kitchen. Swallowing on a dry mouth, throat scratchy, you figured there was little else you could do other than smoke a cigarette.

You stepped onto the porch and sank down onto the bench swing. Lighting up and inhaling, you closed your eyes as the smoke passed through you.

Regina by the poolside in her bikini, Regina eating pizza on your couch, Regina on the passenger seat of your car, Regina smoking a cigarette with you under the bleachers.

That was all gone, then.

Notes: I was a little wary of having the chapter be only the argument, but it got so long that I figured it'd be nice to have the next chapters work towards a resolution straight away. No need to stretch out the acute misery for any longer than necessary. I'll say, though, that just like IRL something like this isn't just fixed right away. So look forward to more chapters! This is getting so long. I started writing this like, hey, a cute oneshot with a butch OC! Here we fucking are.

Taglist: @autorasexy, @wedfan2, @unadulterated-moron, @modernsapphicism, @9unknown0, @sage-rose2000, @massive-honkas, @nattys-swiftie, @likefirenrain, @luz-enjoyer, @dandelions4us, @natashamaximoff-69, @alexkolax, @jareaul0ver, @here4theqts, @charleeeesworld, @natsbiggestfan1, @brocoliisscared, @yellowwallflowers, @scarlettbitchx, @ayoungexwife, @cyberbonesworld, @syddie-reads, @screechcat, @theenglishswiftie,@gabby-duhh, @sweetmissnothing, @masterofpuppets-10, @l1lass, @starved-mortal

#mean girls #mean girls 2024 #mean girls 2004 #regina george #regina george x reader #regina george x you #regina george x oc #regina george x ofc #lesbian regina george #mean girls x reader #wlw #fic: yard work

[lyman-garfiel]

Weird rant but like, it kinda makes me sad a large portion of scarab art is just that of his farmworld disguise that started to melt into me just obessing over why i love scarab's design so much

i dunno, i just always found it funny scarab litterally pulled the white-twinkifacation beam onto himself and the fandom WENT FOR IT. Like i have nothing against people just having fun and humanizing him [human scarab with nerd glasses truithers i owe you all a smooch/p] but when i see just this [albiet cannon] design over and over when the whole point and reasoning for his deign existing was to be a disguise and not resemble him at all,,,,,, his human form is in like 3 scenes total yet i swear i see more art of THIS than his actual design sometimes.. and it SADDENS me cuz like HIS REAL DESIGN IS THE COOLEST SHIT EVER??

His most-used form being so regal and sharp, the monochromatic red design just RAIDIATES menace and power, he's pretty much completley humanoid if you ignore the fact the suit IS his body and his arm/leg spikes, his design really gives off something that isn't human trying to replicate humanity. AND DUE TO THIS HE IS FULL OF BODY HORROR POTENTAL TOO LIKE???!

I just love how his regal and humanoid form just LEAVES the second he is at his lowest point in the show, [the universe he searched for and jumped through so many fucking hoops to locate and destroy becomming cannon and thus his efforts became null and void.] his body language just DROPS the whole "proper but deadly" facade and my man just goes full BUG MODE, gaining another set of arms and crawling around, he pretty much gives up on hiding his real face too which is ANOTHER DESIGN ELEMENT I REALLY ENJOY

He only really takes it off in acts of desparation [threatining fionna into getting his weapon back] or an intimidation tatic [jumpscaring Gary after bro threw baked goods at him-] and the second he no longer has the upper hand he slams it back on, i just think its a very interesting element i have anylized to HELL and back because i have combed through all of his screen time on multiple occasions.

During his absolute moment of glory, [in the process of repo-ing fionnaworld his mask is off, bro is grinning he is elated he is exited as hell] and his FIRST reaction to the shock of his erasure not working is to slam his mask on before anything else. Now i have my headcanons on what this means but i just kinda wanted to ramble on about why his body language/design has been keeping me in a CHOKEHOLD latley

anyways before i spend like......an hour writing this i'm gonna post it i just NEEDED to get his design elements into a post before i fucking explode =)

#scarab the god auditor #he's just so fucking cool to me sorry for going INSANE on this post #it just makes me sad so much art of him is just ship art when he is FULL OF POTENTIAL ON HIS OWN

[tarithenurse]

Safe haven

Fandom: MCU Pairing/starring: Natasha Romanoff & GN!reader Word count: 1157 Content: PTSD, references to childhood trauma (abusive parent, violence, alcoholism), panic attack, there’s a sort of fluff too. Hurt/comfort. A/N: “Coming back from their first mission, Reader has to deal with more than just the normal aftermath of the Avengers’ business.” This was kinda painful to write but also very cathartic. I hope you all find your Natasha if you haven’t already. Betaed by the lovely TanteFrutsel-CreativeNurse <3

Safe haven

You could already feel the anxiety stabbing at your heels as you hurried from the quinjet to your room. It had been a hard mission and things had gone wrong even though the overall trip had been a success.

Success.

It’s hard for you to think of it as that considering the destruction and violence you’ve not only witnessed but have helped dole out for the first time – sure, you know it came with the territory but apparently your training hasn’t prepared you fully for what it feels like to rip up in old wounds: one of the Hydra goons had had an uncanny resemblance to your so-called father. Although sober, the guy had been vicious, bearing down on you with...no, I won’t think about it. Not anymore.

As soon as you’re in your room, you strip out of the sweaty and dirty clothes, trying to ignore the flaky smudges that leave a reddish residue on your hands. Hands that are shaking. Angrily, you kick the clothes aside before turning to the bathroom, avoiding to look at the mirror image of a beat-up person with bags under the eyes.

The others had slept in the quinjet on the way home but whenever you closed your eyes, you saw Him. Maybe it’s the Hydra agent...maybe it’s the man who should have provided you a safe childhood but didn’t.

It’s not my fault, you chant silently as you turn on the water in your shower.

Not waiting for the spray to heat, goosebumps spread at the splash of cold along your skin that’s littered with tiny cuts and bumps. Well, some bigger than others. Absentmindedly, you poke at one of the welts along your side only to wince at the stinging pain from an underlying bent rib. You’ve had worse.

Eventually, the water changes, becoming scalding hot and you allow it to flow over you as you actively begin to scrub away the rest of the sweat, grime, and blood. Down the drain it goes, together with the last bit of restraint apparently, because you realize that you’re crying. Not full blown sobs but the silent constant dribble of tears that mix with the soap, making it sting a tiny bit in the abrasion on your cheek. You wipe at them angrily, barely managing to stop them.

Methodically, you finish washing and then drying, rubbing yourself raw with the towel while relishing the stinging pain. You think you’re doing quite well right until the moment where you open the closet and the darkness there throws you right back "home", sitting in your hiding spot and fearing the nights where your drunk father would get back, looking for someone to take his anger out on.

At that instant there’s a loud banging on the door that makes your heart rate quadruple.

“[Y/N]?” the voice is warped by memories that come surging.

The air sticks in your chest as if turned to molasses: thick, heavy, and difficult to expel or replenish, forcing you to breathe in laboured heaves. You’re vaguely aware of how tightly you cling to the nobs on the closet doors like a lifeline but it’s still not enough to keep you upright and next moment your legs give way. Landing hard on your knees, you don’t even register the pain it must have caused.

And there’s that knocking again. Insistent. Threatening even.

Scrambling, you crawl on all fours in between the hanging clothes, not caring about the shoes and boots beneath you. You know logically that there’s no danger and that instead this is one of your friends...but it’s as though your calm reasoning has been shoved into a little box in the corner of your brain where it’s held hostage by your panic. Fingers claw desperately at the edges of the doors, pulling them shut just as someone calls your name again.

Much closer.

Too close.

They’re in the room with you but you can’t quiet your breath enough to remain hidden and so the closet is opened once more, letting in the light to disband the darkness that had enveloped you like a soothing shroud. Blinking, you look up expecting to see your fathers face but to your surprise you see delicate features framed by fiery hair. Natasha.

“[Y/N]...honey...”

She doesn’t say anything else, just sits down on the floor outside your refuge and holds out a hand for you to take if you want to. You try to focus on the gentle gesture, the outstretched arm that waits patiently for you to make the first move.

“It’s alright...you’re safe now,” Nat coos at you.

How can she possibly mean that? But you find no sign of anger or disappointment in her voice. “I’m sorry,” you whimper nonetheless, eyes glued to her hand.

“It’s okay.”

She wiggles her fingers as if it could tempt you to grasp them...and it kinda does.

“You have nothing to be sorry for, alright?”

It sounds so simple the way she says it and you see your hand reach out for hers, gingerly settling in her light grasp. Years of therapy and it’s never sounded so true, so sincere, before but even so there’s a huge chunk of your heart that is horrified of someone witnessing your breakdown.

As if on cue, spurred on by this new concern, the molasses in your lungs turns to concrete and your throat constricts. The world begins to grow fuzzy at the edges and Natasha’s voice comes from far away as she calls for you to breathe, to focus on her which is an impossible task.

Natasha says something which you can’t pick up on before strong arms pull you out of your safe spot. But they don’t bring pain this time – instead they begin to stroke your back while she chants something. It doesn’t matter what it is, it’s the rhythm of it that helps you force a bit of air in and out of your lungs. Not much, but it’s better than nothing and you can now hear her praise you for what you’re doing.

“That’s it, honey. Focus on the exhalation...slow and steady.”

You follow her guidance and breath after breath it gets easier and your logical thinking is gently unboxed until you are on the way to an exhausted calmness.

Slowly taking in your surroundings, you realize that you’re sitting butt-naked in Natasha’s lap. But she just cradles you in her arms as if it was the most normal thing.

Heat rises to your cheeks and your breathing picks up once more but Natasha will have nothing of it: “It’s okay, you have nothing to worry about, honey.” She looks you in your eyes for the first time, the grey full of understanding and pain that you never before realized was there. “You’ll be okay. I swear.”

And you believe her, allowing her to pull you closer to her chest to nuzzle in and drift away for a bit.

#natasha romanoff #natalia romanova #black widow #Natasha x you #natasha x reader #Natasha romanoff x you #natasha romanoff x reader #x reader #x you #x gn!reader #gender neutral reader #hurt/comfort #natasha angst #natasha hurt/comfort #natasha feels

[rainbow-nerdss]

Fic Writing review 2023!

I was tagged by: @just-my-latest-hyperfixation @aidaronan @exhuastedpigeon @jamespearce9-1-1 @theotherbuckley @aspecbuddie @thewolvesof1998 @daffi-990 (And possibly others, i may have missed one or two, sorry if i did!)

I can't believe 2023 is over, honestly. This year has had some ups and downs for sure but overall I'm so proud of what I've achieved. I started the year mainly writing Stranger Things fics, and while I still love that fandom and all of the wonderful people I met there, my inspiration for writing it was beginning to fade.

And along came 9-1-1. I am so happy with where I've ended up, and for all the new friends I've made since I found this show back in April!

Here's an overview of my year in fic:

Words posted to ao3: 235,060

Words written: 250,465

Works posted: 38

Fandoms posted for: 3 (Stranger Things, 9-1-1, MCU/Captain America)

Specifics and tags are under the cut!

Longest fic:

Crawling on Back to You 109k words, 30 chapters Stranger Things, Steve/Eddie, Rated E

Shortest fic:

Keep on Walkin' and don't look back 521 words Stranger Things, Steve/Eddie, Rated T

Top 5 by kudos:

1. Right in front of your eyes

9-1-1, Buddie, 15k

He and Chris, and Buck. They work, they’re a unit. Why should it matter that he’s single? Buck is watching him, like he’s reading every thought on his face. “You’re already planning to lie about the date. Why don’t you just tell her you met someone yourself?” Eddie shrugs and tilts his head to the side, squinting in thought. “She won’t set me up on dates if she thinks I’ve got someone,” he muses. “But she’ll want to meet whoever it is.” “So... Introduce them?” Or: Buck offers to fake-date Eddie so Pepa will stop setting him up on dates.

2. Pinky Promise

9-1-1, Buddie, 1k

Christopher Diaz doesn't mind that his dad's dating someone new. He's not dumb, he knows there's someone. The way his dad has been smiling lately, the way Chris catches him staring at his coffee, daydreaming like he isn't a grown man. The sleepovers Chris is suddenly allowed to go to on almost a weekly basis. Chris is happy for him, really he is. He’s just not planning to let himself get attached to whoever it turns out to be, just in case. He doesn't need a step-parent, because he has Dad, and he has Buck, and that’s enough. Whoever his dad dates, well. They'll probably leave, eventually. Chris doesn’t need to worry about them. Or: Eddie and Buck come to Chris with some news, and he doesn't take it very well at all.

3. Peek-A-Boo

Stranger Things, Steddie, 1k

Eddie tried not to stare. He really tried. He didn't notice at first, too preoccupied with the tub of pringles he'd been making his way through while talking about Corroded Coffin's last gig. Sure, he'd noticed the shorts. The ridiculous amount of leg Steve was showing, the way they hugged his ass, but it wasn't until Steve moved, lifted one foot to rest on the cushion, knees spread, that Eddie noticed another feature of the shorts. Or: Steve puts on a bit of an accidental show.

4. Definition

9-1-1, Buddie, 2k

It keeps happening, time and time again. People get it wrong. Whatever people say, it feels wrong and they don't know how to set the record straight, until Chris takes it into his own hands. or: 5 times people get Buck's role in Chris's life wrong, and 1 time they set the record straight

5. take my hand (knot your fingers through mine)

9-1-1, Buddie, 4k, written with @pock-o-pea

At least Buck’s okay. He’s outside, safe, doing his job. Buck’s okay, which means no matter what happens inside this van, If the crushing weight of the fridge takes him before Buck can get to him, if the van pancakes or flips or any number of likely disasters occur, if Eddie dies in here, alone, and in pain, then… He thinks of Mallory, of Jo. How they’d called out for each other. His eyes shut briefly as Mallory’s words echo in his head. “She’s not my daughter. Jo’s mother was my best friend… she saved me so many times.” Or: what 6x18 could've been

2023 Events I've participated in: AUgust, Fandom Trumps Hate

Current works in progress:

The bodyguard fic (somebody to someone) -One chapter posted, 3 more written and (almost) ready to post!

Steve time travelling in the upside down (of moments and unmoments (of time lost)) -One posted, two more in the drafts 😁

The break-up fic (you were my town) - Two posted, the third almost ready to post

Season 7 fic: 10 chapters, currently being edited to post

and then a bunch of isolated oneshots I've yet to figure out an ending for: 5+1 times Eddie sees buck with kids that aren't his, friends with benefits, secret relationship, Teacher!Buck, Buckley siblings kiss of death, Buck in the stairs (just started this one last night!)

Goals for 2024:

I want to finish posting all of the WIPs which are already on ao3, post my s7 fic before March 14, keep working on all the WIPs I have in my docs and of course write more and keep sharing!

Most of all I want to keep participating in this wonderful fandom I've found on here, I have had *such* a good time over the past year in fandom 🥰🥰

No pressure tags (sorry if you've already done this and I missed it!)

@hellwrites @the-emdash @wildlife4life @disasterbuckdiaz @loserdiaz @jeeyuns @callmenewbie @911-on-abc @bittersweet-in-boston @kwills91 @trenchcoatsandtimetravel @spotsandsocks @devirnis @housewifebuck @lover-of-mine @gayhoediaz @mojowitchcraft @wikiangela @steadfastsaturnsrings @sunflowerdiaiz @cardamomsage @velvetjinx

Also tagging anyone else who might want to look back at the year and I've accidentally missed!

Rules: Feel free to show whatever stats you have. Only want to show Ao3 stats? Rock on. Want to include some quantitative info instead of stats? Please do this. Want to change how yours is presented? Absolutely do that. Would rather eat glass than do this? Please don’t eat glass but don’t feel like you have to do this either.

#fanfic writing #2023 writing

[buckybarnesss]

on fire: a teen wolf novel chapters 10-13 chapters 7-9 here chapters 4-6 here chapters 1-3 here

after a little break i am back with a new installment i'm doing 4 chapters today because this book only has 19 chapters.

once again: kate argent is her own warning.. there's an entire flashback chapter of her and derek when he was a teenager. she explicitly grooms him.

Our intrepid heroes are still in the goddamn woods. We shall never leave. Allison is cold and so Scott snuggles with her to share body heat. Classic trope but I have read many missing persons cases. Hypothermia can happen even when you don’t think it can. 

And we have yet another example of Derek being characterized as kind of a dick. He and Stiles find a campfire as Derek tries to track the scent of the Alpha and/or locate Scott. Stiles is just having a bad time as he’s winded from trying to keep up with Derek. Derek leaves him there. I reject this. No. Derek never left Stiles anywhere like this. Especially not with danger afoot. It very much stands in contrast to Wolf’s Bane when Derek crawls over broken glass and fights Peter, distracting him from Stiles.

The Queen has finally arrived. We finally get some Lydia narration. She also comes with Danny and some random dude Damon. 

It had been kind of annoying Danny hasn’t been involved that much considering he is Jackson’s best friend.

Have I mentioned that I don’t particularly care for how Danny is handled in this book? First you have Stiles assuming they should send Danny to the pay-by-the-hour motel because he’s gay and now Lydia’s narration is stereotyping the poor guy. “Dark-haired, with that cool Hawaiian vibe he had.” Danny was right to leave y'all.

Danny says he doesn’t have Lydia’s phone number which I sincerely doubt. 

I want to throw hands with this line “He gave her a completely non-sexual once over.” It’s giving gay-best friend trope vibes which to be fair was at its height in the 2010s and let’s face it this is how Lydia was often written pre-character development (and even after). Especially in the Sterek fandom. Don’t y’all try to tell me otherwise. I was there, Gandalf. 

There is this little section of Lydia’s I think deserves some commentary. The way this book has a subplot for Allison and Scott revolving around how they want to sleep together and the way Jackson and Lydia think of their relationship, especially their sexual relationship is interesting. Now, I’m no pearl clutching Puritan on this subject but the way that sex is handled in this narrative strikes me as too adult for their age. But this passage makes me change my perspective a little. These are kids acting too adult because they feel pressured in other areas of their lives to be adults without the experience and emotional capacity to do so. That fits in with Teen Wolf’s narrative. 

“Are you going through his stuff?” Danny queried, and she have him her best patronizing look, “Please,” She said, “You must know that I have a drawer here.” Damon looked even more impressed. Very few teenagers could claim the very adult perk of having a drawer containing their belongings at their boy -- or girlfriend’s house. Not that many teenagers had the need. It spoke of changing clothes, spending the night. Adult stuff.  Sex.”

Jackson’s computer wallpaper is Lydia which is sweet but then she says she picked it out herself which is less sweet. 

Jackson’s computer password is fucking Captain. You deserve to be hacked, Jackson.

Now Lydia brought Danny and his hanger on Damon from her house to Jackson’s because they’re looking for a CD Jackson apparently burned for Damon to use to DJ for a party. The 2010s of it all came out and kneed me in the solar plexus. Even Lydia was wondering why Jackson didn’t just make a shared playlist. But she searches through Jackson’s stuff stalling a little so she can snoop. This is all important because we finally get to the actual plot of why Jackson was lured away and missing in the first place. People want to rob the Whittermore’s while they’re out of town. Jackson at this point is still being held at gunpoint over in the preserve. 

The would be robbers -- henceforth referred to as Thing One and Thing Two -- assault Lydia and threaten her demanding to know if there are other people in the house. Lydia truly gets a raw deal no matter what.

Meanwhile, Derek’s left Stiles and is trying to follow the scene of the Alpha. He uses the word “shedding” to refer to how he left Stiles. I cannot impress enough how he would not fucking say that.

Derek’s out of luck though because the scent he comes across is old. He is at the place he found Laura’s body where he has a Moment of Anger before he moves on he picks up on Jackson’s scent. He recalls how he dug his claws into Jackson back in Magic Bullet and feels a tiny bit bad. He finds a half burned article about Jackson and does what I deem a Derek thing to do and that’s pocket it because he’s “keeping tabs on Jackson”. It’s stalking, Derek.

Narration switches back to Stiles and of course he gets weird quickly and Stiles what the fuck? Stiles doing something like this during the later seasons wouldn’t be out of the norm. He’s paranoid, hyper vigilant and suspicious at that point but here? Season 1? Stalker.

“He had tried calling Scott a couple more times, then Allison, then Lydia. He’d had her phone in his possession when he deleted the picture she’d accidentally taken of the Alpha. Of course he’d also inputted her number into his own phone; how stalkerish was that?”

Derek reappears and scares Stiles. Stiles observes “He was kind of sweaty, and he looked glummer than usual.” Stiles refuses to be normal about Derek. 

They have a little tiff except it’s them being worried about the same thing but in opposite directions. 

“Stiles crossed his arms and hunched over, shivering and trying to make himself inconspicuous, in cast the Alpha spotted Derek and decided to attack him. But Derek was a Beta werewolf too, like Scott. Why wasn’t he part of the Alpha’s pack? Maybe he is. Maybe he just hasn’t told us, he thought. “Or maybe it’s some kind of trap,” Derek said, “Something the Argents cooked up.” “You mean that Allison’s in on it?” Stiles asked, sounding incredulous.  Derek slid a glance at him. “Why do you sound so surprised? You know what the Argents are. What they do.``

And so we have arrived. The part of this book I remember the most. The Derek Hale Flashbacks. We go six years into the past. 

This is definitely where the idea of Kate Argent working at Beacon Hills High comes from and it makes a lot of sense. It even works even better given the context of season 2 where the Argents actually infiltrate the school as a tactic. 

Holder puts Derek on the swim team which is funny in retrospect because of how the swim team is important to the story of season 2 but Derek is established in season 3 as having been on the basketball team like Peter.

Holder also does a little world building on werewolf customs and pack dynamics here which the show lacks in detail. The way Holder does it is far more patriarchal than what the Hales actually are in the show. There’s a focus on Derek’s father (unnamed even here), the contest/rivalry between him and his cousin Josh, entrance into manhood and Uncle Peter. 

I am still deeply amused by Holder making the Beast of Gevaudan an ancestor of the Hales when the show took the route of making it far more deeply connected to the Argents.

The deepest of sighs at this : “Unlike Laura, who was popular, he didn’t have any human friends, and he didn’t want any.” I just have the hardest time with isolationist, anti-human Derek. Season 3 Derek called and told Book Derek to fuck himself. Derek had a posse of generic human friends.

Kate preys on Derek while she fills in for the main coach as he’s on paternity leave. Also Kate’s up here just brassily using her actual name.

Like Derek’s about 16 here so I can easily buy him noticing a pretty young woman in close proximity to him but Holder does a good job in making it clear that while Derek’s attracted to Kate superficially her interest in him makes him uncomfortable. Derek’s narration says things like “Flustered, even a little frightened.” and “He practically ran out of the school, looking over his shoulder.”

Holder then parallels Scott and Allison once more which is a, um, choice by describing Kate’s hair in the moonlight and Derek almost wolfing out. 

Apparently Laura and Derek shared a Subaru Forester. Which Hale lesbian bought this?

Now up until this point I’ve mostly avoided talking about Laura and her presence in this book because I was saving it for this scene. Laura Hale is a ghost in the narrative in the show. She’s seen maybe three different times outside of being a corpse. She’s never actually named in any of those short appearances and no one talks about her. Here she’s mentioned several times by Scott, Stiles and Derek. Plus now she’s shown in Derek’s flashbacks. I don’t like her all that much here and I think this might be where some of Laura’s fanon characterization comes from. 

Anyway, Derek and Laura are at a diner together eating hamburgers. Derek drinks Diet Coke. Look, I don’t see him as a Diet Coke drinker but that’s not the point here. Derek mentions Kate and how he thinks she’s so beautiful. Laura has this moment where she seems concerned:

“Is this...woman a student?” Laura asked. “No. She’s the new lifeguard. Ms. Argent.” Mr. Braswell’s replacement.” “School lifeguard?” she said, looking mildly shocked. “A teacher?”

After this though Laura’s characterization takes a nosedive. She refers to Kate as a slut when at this point in time Kate hasn’t really done anything necessarily wrong. Derek only really tells Laura of thinking she’s pretty. Laura’s never even met her.

She goes on to tease Derek about his crush -- the word mateable is used 🤮 -- and Derek shuts down. “Suddenly, he didn’t feel like talking to her about it anymore.”

I hate it here.

The next scene is another flashback I recall vividly. Melissa and baby Scott being abused by Mr. McCall. This fuckface trying to convince Scott that his asthma attack isn’t real and it’s all in his head. I want this man to die. Interesting that later when Rafael McCall is introduced he’s still The Worst.

Catch these hands. “Scott didn’t want him to yell at his mom because Scott had asthma. It wasn’t her fault. It was his, Scott’s.” 

If Melissa McCall had killed him no would have charged her. 

Back in the present we return to Scott and Allison. They’re still cuddling but realize they’re supposed to be looking for Allison’s keys. Her phone rings and they have a mishap which sends Allison down the incline. She takes him with her.

They recover but Allison has now lost her keys and phone. Bad day all around for Ally A.

Scott finds Allison’s phone using his wolf powers but he can’t let her know that so they use his phone to call hers. 

Her ringtone for him is apparently a band called Kids of 88. I had never heard of them so after a quick search their biggest hit was in 2009 My House. Which again -- sex.

Scott went to get her phone but he’s prevented by an invisible barrier. Wolfsbane. He makes up a lie about his leg being hurt because like how else do you explain not being able to touch a bush?

They sit down and Scott’s having thoughts like “Oh I wish Derek were here” so you know it’s not great. Allison talks a little about how she’s close to her parents.

They are fucking kissing again. Stop it. It’s not the time. 

Scott decides to text Stiles and says Stiles knows his username and password. We all know. It’s the ever iconic Allison. Jackson and Scott truly deserve each other.

I forgot Jackson was still being held at gunpoint while all this has been going on.

Jackson makes an attempt to escape but yet another guy is waiting at the Porsche. How many people are there? Two here, Cassie probably and then the two at the house. So 5 people in total it appears. Geez. 

His escape fails and he’s taken hostage. Jackson never has a good time. 

All of Chapter 13 is Kate and Derek. Shall we brace ourselves?

“One by one the other swimmers left, and he’d remained behind, torn between disappointment that she hadn’t done it again, and complete and utter relief that she was staying away from him.” Holder writes young Derek having the instinct to know Kate’s attention isn’t good.

Now Holder does do some interesting bits of worldbuilding but like I said earlier it seems so patriarchal. Surrounding challenges and fighting. His view of humans in the book is one of paternalism. 

Kate is going in for the kill now and I’m crawling up my own spine. She makes herself come across as demure. She’s playing meek and turning the whole thing back on Derek giving him the illusion of choice as she grooms him. She purposefully is coming across as more of a peer than an adult figure with authority. 

“She swirled her fingers in the water. “And this isn’t really my style, you know?” I don’t come onto men like this.” Men. She thought of him as a man. He licked his lips, completely tongue-tied. “I wish you’d say something,” she murmured. “I’m kind of dying about it now. I’m sorry if I misread your intentions. I won’t bother you again.” “I know we’d have to be careful. Outsiders might not understand.”

Excuse me. Earlier Derek mentioned his rival -- his cousin Josh -- apparently Peter’s sister-in-law’s kid. Here he mentions Laura had made out with Josh the previous Wolf Moon. Did Laura make out with their cousin?!?!?!?!?!? There’s no other Josh in this book. Like I get they’re not blood related if Josh is Peter’s sister-in-law’s kid (which lol okay bro) but what is happening here on this day?

Kate wants Derek to come home with her for privacy -- ew. So Derek calls Laura to negotiate. Hence the whole conversation about Laura making out with cousin Josh. Laura says “This is so you can do something slutty.” I deeply dislike this characterization of Laura.

And now we’re in Kate’s narration for the flashbacks. I need a shower after reading her thoughts. God, I hate Kate.

Holder goes into detail about her ideas on werewolves. It’s interesting. There’s competition for rank within the pack, challenges and rituals. I want to do a post specifically about it maybe, but I am offended on Talia Hale’s behalf here. It’s very focused on males. The automatic assumption that the Alpha is Derek’s father.

 I cannot say fuck Kate enough. “Some kids in high school are babies and others are all grown up, ready for the real world. Like you.” The classic manipulation tactic of oh but you’re so mature for your age or oh they’re such an old soul. 

Wishing Kate Argent a go ahead and die.

#my blog #thoughts on teen wolf #teen wolf #sterek #on fire: a teen wolf novel #kate argent is her own warning

[autisticlancemcclain]

fic rec friday 6

welcome the the sixth fic rec friday! where, on friday, i rec five of my favourite fics.

1. Chapped Lips by Creatortan

Lance's lips were a distraction, sometimes. Keith just couldn't keep his eyes off of them.

i read this one and forget to bookmark it and it haunted my mind for WEEKS as i desperately tried to find it again. i went bonkers bc i wanted to reread it so bad, bc it is EXCELLENT. its fun and gay and the team as family dynamics are AMAZING, no team bashing here!! and as usual the pining was chefs kiss.

2. Mine by Anonymous [EXPLICIT, ABO]

How do Lance and Keith react when the other is kidnapped?

Keith goes feral. Lance becomes deadly.

yeah, yeah, i know. another omegaverse. absolutely feel free to avoid this one if it’s not ur thing, i know it’s not for everyone, but it was one of my first pieces of bamf unhinged lance and i refuse to be ashamed of liking it lmao. also i think it’s fair to say that this fic inspired my unhinged batshit lance fic, at least a little. give it a try if ur like me an abo is a guilty pleasure lmao

3. the way i love you by @taylortot

quiet moments in which keith and lance fall in love. and kiss a lot. post s7.

words cannot explain how much this series means to me. genuinely a series that is so poetically soft and loving that it makes tears well in your eyes. i started reading this series right when i turned 16, and idk it truly made something crack in fizzle in my brain, it made me realise how careful and choosing love is. i have read this series more times than i can count, definitely one of the top ten, and there are lines from this fic that i repeat to myself when i am looking for hope. i know it hasn’t been touched since 2020 but i will be watching it carefully and hoping for years to come. (my favourite, in the series, although it was hard to choose, is i want to kiss you there)

4. Read Label: Lance McClain’s Boyfriend by @bleusarcelle

“You know I’m not ashamed, right?” Lance meets his gaze sheepishly. “Like, I’m not ashamed of you, of us. Far from it, babe, I swear –”

“Lance,” Keith cuts in kindly, smiling warmly at the teen in his arms. “Believe me, I know but I do want to tell the world what you mean to me. I wanna start with our team, our family.”

“You should come with a warning,” Lance whispers, stroking Keith’s chin fondly as he drops his voice. “Caution: words that leave these lips may cause falling deeper in love. Thank you for shopping at Mullets4sales.com.”

Keith throws his head back as he shakes with laughter. Lance grins proudly at sound before he props himself on the bed and drops unceremoniously on top of his giggling boyfriend’s chest.

“But yeah, yes; let’s tell them after dinner.”

[Or the one where the team is on their way back home and stop on a planet where a pissy prince drugs Keith with a love potion and Lance has to endure watching his secret boyfriend being lovestruck on someone else that isn't him.]

bleusarcelle always has and always will be one of the core founders of this fandom fr. trust me when i tell u their work was THE work. i remember greedily reading every fic of theirs several time, and i still read several of them regularly. but i will always be a sucker for the secret relationship trope. and this one managed to have that trope with none of the team bashing or miscommunication garbage so it’s a banger from the get-go fr

5. When Moonlight Touches Us by @pmwrites-blog1

Branches scratched his cheeks as he ran through the woods. Out of breath and covered in mud, Lance eventually crawled back under the fence onto the school grounds. He stopped at the large fountain in the plaza, leaning heavily on it. He splashed his face to wake himself up.

It didn’t work. Keith was real.

-

Based on 214b's Gargoyle AU

THIS IS MY FAVOURITE VOLTRON FIC OF ALL TIME. i dont know why. i have no idea why ive latched onto this fic so specifcally, what about this fic just makes me want to reread it again and again, but if i could print this aand bind it and keep a hardcopy with me every day of my life i would. im obsessed with it. beauty and the beast who?? like this fic is everything to me. i cannot recommend it enough. im fully convinced this fic did something fundamental to my brain. nothing i write will ever be so dear to me as this fic and that’s literally okay. the stars aligned to make this fic possible. is it the fact that i know there’s pretzellus art for it and so the whole story was cemented into my brain? possibly. i truly do not know. but i am fully obsessed with this story and likely will be for infinity

that’s it for today!! i’ll see y’all back next friday for the next fic rec post!!!  

#i love all of these but im especially excited to share that last one with yall its ten billion out of ten #vld #voltron #lance #lance mcclain #keith #keith kogane #klance #au #established klance #fluffy klance #klance au #fic rec #fic rec friday #longpost

[theearlgreymage]

An Ask Game for Writers to Procrastinate Working on Your WIP(s)

Soooo -- The lovely @ic3-que3n decided to tag me in this little game. Because they know I am eternally procrastinating on all my WIPS.

(Original Ask Game)

1. 🦈Tell us the name of your/ one of your WIP(s):

Vogue in Paradis (And I will be using this specific WIP for all remaining questions)

2. 🍄Describe your WIP/one of your WIP(s) in the format of “___ + ___ =___”

Fashion Designer Erwin + Makeup Designer Levi = Rivals to Lovers Office Romance

3. 🌍What tags or warnings will your / one of your WIP(s) need if you intend to share it?

Guys. Come on. This is ME we're talking about - they are going to fuck. Explicitly.

4. 🧭An alternative title to your/ one of your WIP(s)?

This one was originally unnamed when the premise for it was created. I started this a while ago, and then set it on the back burner, but then Lewi dropped this amazing art and it sparked that flame of motivation to continue it -- and gave it a Title.

5. ⚠️Which WIP your most likely to finish or update next?

Either May Their Blood Boil will get an update OR I will finish Vogue in Paradis

6. 💾What is your document of your WIP/ a WIP called? (not the stories actual title but what you’ve saved it as)

Despite how meticulously I keep my Google Drive organized, there is absolutely no rhyme or reason to my Docs Names. Most of the time it is just an extremely vague phrase. But I do keep my Docs ORGANIZED. Each fandom has it's own folder, and within that there are folders for oneshots, series, ideas, and @ic3-que3n (yes - they have a whole ass folder because they put that many ideas in my fucking head.)

7. 🖍Post Any sentence(s) from your WIP.

“Smith.”  At the mere mention of Erwin’s name, Hange starts laughing.   “Stop that,” I sneer at them as I lean back in my chair and cross my arms defensively. Already anticipating where this is going to go – which is why I didn’t want to say anything to them in the first place.  “Stop being in denial then,” Hange wheezes out between fits of laughter.  “I’m not in denial!”  We’ve had this argument before – anytime I bring up Erwin, Hange insists that I have a crush on him. Which I do not.  “Keep telling yourself that,” Hange drawls as they wipe a tear of laughter away from their lash line.  “We’re not having this discussion.”  “And you’re still not getting laid.”  “Hange.” I practically snarl at them.   It doesn’t perturb them in the slightest. “Look me in the eyes and tell me I’m wrong,” and I’m about to answer their demand but then they keep going. “Tell me you don’t think he’s a whole ass meal. That you haven’t thought about what he’s hiding under those bland Oxford shirts and wool pants.”  “I don’t –”  “Or that you don’t think he’s infuriatingly good at his job.”  “That has nothing –”  “Or that you can’t seem to keep your eyes and ears off of him in joint meetings.”  “Well that’s only –” “Or that it’s a damn shame no one has been able to take him off the market.”    The silence that falls over us is uncomfortably tense. And I can’t decide if I want to crawl beneath my desk at the sudden, horrifying, realization that I can’t deny a word they just said – or leap across the table and strangle them for making me realize I can’t.  “That’s what I thought,” they chime triumphantly as they lean back on their hands. Pushing a pencil cup out of its place.  “Get. Out.” I snip between clenched teeth. My hands balled up in fists in the crooks of my elbows to keep from lashing out at this idiot I call my best friend. 

8. ♻️A scrapped idea for your current WIP.

Hmm. No. I'm holding this information incase I un-scrap the idea.

9. 🤔What’s a story you’d love to write but haven’t even started yet?

I have a WILD backwards-reincarnation plot cooking in my head right now. I'm going to make the CANON the reincarnation and write a whole pre-canon/part reincarnation for my blorbos. And I am ITCHING to write it like it's no ones fucking business, but I'm determined to get some other projects off my plate first so that I can give it the attention that it rightfully deserves.

10. 🤡How many WIPS are you actively working on?

Hahahahaha...ha...ha... Well. You see...That's not an easy answer. Because I am not good at math and cannot count that high... But. In the last 30 days...Going off of WIPs that I've typed at least 500 words on... 11...

11. 🛠Is there a scene or anything in the WIP you are struggling with right now?

Yes 😎

12. ❤️Not a question, just a second Kudos to send.

Bless. You're too sweet my love ❤️

And now so I can spread the procrastination, I’m tagging...

@artsyunderstudy @shrekgogurt @buffy @j-nipper-95 @aristocratic-otter @cutestkilla @facewithoutheart @fatalfangirl @hushed-chorus @martsonmars @skeedelvee @thewholelemon @wellbelesbian @you-remind-me-of-the-babe @palimpsessed

#ask game #tag game #WIP #Current WIP #Writing #Fanfic #ask me anything #procrastination #AOT #Eruri #SNK #levi ackerman #erwin smith

[cafeinthemoon]

Ruins - Part XXIII

Chapter 23/?

Wordcount 2,3k

Title Part XXIII

Fandom Shummatsu no Valkyrie / Record of Ragnarok

Previous chapters

1 . 2 . 3 . 4 . 5 . 6 . 7 . 8 . 9 . 10 . 11 . 12 . 13 . 14 . 15 . 16 . 17 . 18 . 19 . 20 . 21 . 22 . Outtake

Symbols ⭕ . ➕ . 💛

Warnings: The continuation of their honeymoon ❤; non explicit sex; steamy in general

Tagging @holdyourwine @lilacshouko @shirayuki-ayumi @telvess @alecfromsaturn (If you want to be tagged in any of my stories, just leave a comment on this chapter or send an ask or a message)

N. A.: It's finally here 😭 The continuation of their deserved honeymoon! I've been struggling and procrastinating, trying to decide the amount of information I should include in this one, but I opted for little info and more ~action lol I wanted it to be one of those chapter where the characters are just relaxing and living their lives instead of being too worried about moving the story forward.

Hope you don't mind X)

As the kiss deepened, your mind wandered to all the things you’ve experienced with Hades, all building up and culminating in that one moment, when you were finally a couple. Fear, respect, protection, friendship, passion and love – everything he already represented to you, and everything you were willing to represent to him, was there, boiling and pulsating inside you, and pouring out through the gestures of your hands, your wet lips united and the heat of your skins, pressed together.

With his left arm wrapped tight around your waist, Hades brought you closer, his mouth wandering across your neck, your collar, your breasts, as you held on to him with eager hands: while your right one’s nails crawled on his back, your left was tangled in his hair. Suddenly, you felt his teeth brushing on your skin and started laughing; he laughed back in response, his breath muffled on your skin, tickling and provoking more laughter.

– You’re quite a teaser, my Lord – you murmured in his ear; then, moving away to look him in the eye – Is this the way you found to cease the tension of our first time?

Your husband brushed your hair behind your right ear, then held your chin with his fingertips, observing your face with a tender smile.

– Perhaps – he approached his mouth to yours, speaking over your lips – But it seems that it’s working, isn’t it?

Before you could think of a reply, he pulled you in a sensual embrace, lying on the mattress and making you lie upon him. You giggled, leaning your hands on his chest.

— You could say that.

The sight of his ecstatic face glued to you, surrounded by the strands of your untied hair, falling on each side, his eyes swallowing every inch of yours, the blush on his cheeks was just too much to you; the influence of Aphrodite’s potion, increased by your disposition, and you took the initiative by approaching yourself to him: holding his chin, you made him open his lips with your thumb, covering his mouth with yours, your tongue searching for his; on his part, things were just as heated: his hands, grabbing on your waist like claws, held on to you with strength, helping you to keep your balance, guiding you in languid, delicious movements.

The only thing you could think of was how much you loved Hades: you loved everything your senses could catch from him, from the softness of his skin under your touch, the thin layer of hot sweat forming on it, to the glow of desire in his eyes, his noisy breath, the firmness of his hands; you loved him to the point you didn’t want anything else: to give yourself to him, to live for him, to become everything he needed; you loved him, and wanted to melt into him, to embrace him, to devour him. And certainly, he felt the same, for soon he took over the situation, adjusting his grip on your waist and making you lie on the bed, putting himself over you and suffocating you in an even hotter kiss. You smiled over his lips when he moved them away for a second, and wrapped your legs around him, tightening his body against yours.

You felt that was the right instant. You couldn’t wait anymore.

– Take me – your voice came out as a sigh on his ear – Make me yours...

And he answered your plead, and took you at that moment. And it was when you understood you were born for this, for him, that you’ve never been complete by yourself, neither as a mere human. The pleasure of your flesh was equal to the ones of the heart and the spirit, the ecstatic feeling of fulfilling your purpose eating each cell of your body.

Somehow you sensed the smell of Aphrodite’s potion increasing as the act carried on, as if it had its effect potentiated by your natural feelings, and these latter empowered the potion in return as two complementary forces. Noticing this pattern, then, you started imagining what would happen if you introduced variations in your activity, so you tried to touch him in different manners; to your surprise, changes in the intensity of the fragrance were felt, as well as curious reactions from your partner: there was a moment, for example, when you caressed his ears the same way you did in the Secret Garden, several days ago, and his response came in a growl, then a muffled laugh in your neck, which provoked laughter in yourself. It was like among the potion’s many properties there was one that allowed you to identify and recognize preferences of your lover.

– You noticed that too, uh? – you heard him whisper – Clever girl.

You understood what he was talking about. He then pulled you tighter to himself, and you responded with a loud moan, and the smell increased again; your hands reached to his back, pressing on his skin as if he could disappear at any moment. You found yourself praying that it didn’t happen.

Please, stay forever. Please, never leave me.

You didn’t understand exactly why you thought of those exact words, but something inside you awakened, and you were convinced that, more than the ceremony led by Zeus-sama, this moment was your real marriage, when you gave everything you had to the man you loved: your body, your thought and feelings – your soul – and received the same from him in return. An understanding of the divine unison came to you with this: unlike the human one, which could be broken with the mere disappearance of feelings, a marriage between two gods would take much more to come to an end. But you knew you’d never want such thing, not with all the things you’ve experienced together until that point. Not only this, but somehow you knew – whether through the contact with his body or through a special exchange of thoughts – that Hades was feeling exactly the same.

And the conscience of this impregnated your physical body, and brought your senses to a state of climax. You felt part of your consciousness abandoning you, then found yourself holding on to him as you’ve never done before, mumbling incoherent words of love and attachment; you also noticed the same behavior from his part and, though you weren’t experienced in these types of things, you supposed he had his apex not so long after yourself. Suddenly, you felt something close to exhaustion, as if you just shared part of your vital energy with him, but it wasn’t like you were losing your strength: you were just becoming something more than yourself by joining him. You wanted to talk to your husband about this, but when you tried to move your lips, but you were too tired for this.

You’ve spent a moment together even when it was over, then Hades lied by your side and pulled you to him. You stood in silence, nestled in is arms, and never knew exactly when your mind slipped into the world of dreams.

There, you saw yourself in a familiar place.

It was a desolated landscape, surrounded by the ruins of what reminded you of a beautiful construction, raised in a remote past. Under your feet, the darkness of a sterile, brown earth, and above your head heavy clouds pushed away by cold winds, blowing through the red skies; through your skin were sent successive shivers, and you crossed your arms around your body to protect it. Yes, you’ve been there countless times, but it wasn’t but a dead world, unable to welcome lively you; the ruins were still the same, silently resting and not waiting for your touch – they didn’t belong to you, after all.

An ancient world with which you’ve never been able to find a connection...

Until you decided to turn and look. And then you found something you’ve never noticed in your other times there: the reminiscence of a high dome, indicating the spot where the construction’s entry once was. You took hesitant steps toward the arc and looked into it.

It was when you had the greatest surprise: looking back at you with a loving smile, there you saw Hades. You covered your mouth with both hands, not believing your eyes at first, but then all the hesitation disappeared and you ran to him, jumping into his arms. It felt like when you saw him for the first time, at Valhalla’s Library; it seemed to have happened a long time ago. The biggest difference, however, was the absence of fear in your heart, since you didn’t think twice before reaching to him. When he took you in his arms, you were invaded by what you could only described as true peace.

Little by little, you felt like you were falling asleep in your lover’s embrace in that dark world, only to slowly wake up in your honeymoon chambers, lying on your bed beside your husband. You looked up to him and noticed he was waking up at that very moment.

That time, you were able to speak.

– I had that dream again – you whispered – The dream about the ruins… It hasn’t happened since I’ve arrived at Valhalla...

– Interesting… – he caressed your hair in response – The same just happened to me…

Your heart skipped a beat when he revealed that: you didn’t understand how, but you already knew that.

He adjusted you in his arms to continue the conversation.

– Tell me… did something different happen this time?

Your eyes widened a bit and you stared at him.

– Yes! – you took a moment to recall the scenario – I’m sure I was back among the same ruins as before, but this time I saw some kind of dome near them… I approached and looked inside it… – you smiled – Then I saw you…

He smiled back.

– And then you ran to me.

– Yes, I did it – you completed his thought – I really did!

– It was the first time you saw me there – he said these words with a sort of relief, as if something that he has been waiting for too long finally came true.

– You’re right – you smiled – And because of this, it was the first time this dream brought me good feelings. Before this, I used to feel anxious about it.

He bent down to kiss your head, and you smiled.

– Tell me – you restarted – What do you think of this? Is this a sign that our purpose is close to be reached?

– I have no doubts about it – he replied – Now that we are together, things will certainly become clearer in the next days. We will have no problems figuring out what to do.

– I agree – you said – You know, I’ve never felt this peace before… It’s like I’m finally where I’m supposed to be...

Your husband’s response was to pull you tighter in his arms, as if he understood that you were talking about them. You closed your eyes, listening to his breath, your nostrils inhaling the smell of his body. After some time, you sensed something warm growing slowly in your lower belly, spreading to your inner thighs and the rest of your body, and though you had little experience in those things, you soon recognized the feeling, deepening as you turned your attentions the closeness of your bodies, your skins rubbing each other as you moved: you were desiring him again.

Without a word, you turned on your stomach, putting yourself over him, each of your legs on his sides.

– Please… – you whispered on his lips – Touch me again…

His response was quick: his hands grabbed your hips and brought you underneath him, rubbing his lips through your skin.

– Of course, little one – he murmured in your ear – Everywhere you want.

That time, you grabbed his hands, using them to explore your body. This audacious gesture took a smirk from your lover, who entered the game and let you do what you wanted for a while, until he decided you were having too much fun by yourself and took over the situation, grabbing you and taking you with even more intensity than the first time.

You ended up half awake on the mattress, more tired than before, while Hades lied his head on your chest. You kissed him and spent a moment caressing his hair. You weren’t sure how long you’ve stood there, but you fell asleep in the meantime, only waking up to the sound of the sheets moving, followed by soft steps on the floor and a door opening; a distant murmur of running water reached your ears, and you opened your eyes to find the bathroom’s door half opened, a yellow light leaking from it.

Despite being sleepy, you made an effort to leave the bed and walk toward the door, doing it slowly: as soon as you stood up, you felt an ache on your limbs and between your thighs, which seemed to increase when you moved too fast.

Did I exaggerate? Could it be that I’m still in process of transformation and not in my full strength?

You left those doubts aside when you opened the door and found your husband relaxing on the bathtub, the water at his chest’s height, the steam surrounding him. He immediately turned to the door’s direction when you stepped into the place, and a soft smile formed on his lips. You saw him stretching his right hand toward you in an inviting gesture; you accepted it and walked to the bathtub. You were wearing no clothes, only having your long hair to cover you, but no shame stopped you to move it away from your shoulders to enter the water. You lied on Hades’ lap, resting your head on his shoulder, the warmth of the water soothing your discomfort and leading you back to the calm state of unconsciousness.

#snv x reader #ror x reader #snv hades x reader #ror hades x reader #shuumatsu no valkyrie hades #record of ragnarok hades #shuumatsu no valkyrie x reader #record of ragnarok x reader

[redfoxwritesstuff]

Pairing: Eventually Alastor x OFC, later- light Alastor x ofc x Lucifer Rated: E for eventual smut Content warnings: It's Hazbin Hotel- this feels redundant. Sex, eventual smut, referenced implied suicide to be discussed in more detail later, drugs, drinking, poor coping, toxic behavior, controlling behavior, cannibalism, idk, it's fucking Hazbin Hotel, if it's worth a content warning it's probably going to come up at some point? Religious trauma. reader has a name/is a oc.

AN: Why not post another chapter? Idk how long this will end up being, depends on how long the new fandom crack lasts and if anyone wants it.

Chapter 1 Chapter 2

~~~~~<3

Amber tried to relax as Alastor walked her along the chaos filled streets. Being in the city was hard with Angel but at least she felt safe, to an extent. Sure, angel wasn’t particularly powerful but he knew the city and knew how to handle himself. He’d gotten through decades just fine.

Alastor was a powerful Overlord, she had gathered that much though she wasn’t totally sure what exactly that meant. With him at her side, she knew she didn’t really have need to fear most anyone on the city streets. That didn’t change the fact that she was terrified of the man himself. Danger and safety both were complicated things. 

“Stop trembling, my dear.” Alastor broke the tense silence. “I’m here to help you~”

“Why?” 

“Because I’m bored!” He laughed, “What better way to fill the dreadful time than to raise up the stray little dog our dear Charlie brought into something respectable. Maybe she’ll even be able to stand on her own feet!”

“Why?” Again she asked, not knowing what else to say.

“Ha! I know you’re rather young but I do believe you’re a bit too old for toddler questions. Now! Back straight, shoulders back. Hold yourself like a lady.” Alastor tapped her shoulders and back with the microphone atop his cane, held in the hand tucked behind his back. 

“Good girl!” She flushed at the praise and annoyance at being talked down to equally. “And just like that you don’t look so much like a kicked dog. Head up, chin level with the ground. Do they not teach women how to carry themselves anymore? What a shame, what a shame. Long strides now.”

“We’re not really drilled on posture, no. Too busy learning useful skills.”

“And where are those ‘useful skills’ getting you now?” Alastor countered. “And what had they gotten you before you came crawling to my humble hotel.”

Amber stuttered out, trying to think of a single good answer to give him and failing. She hadn’t been able to keep herself safe with reading or writing in her afterlife. Hell, those things had hardly managed to keep her safe in her first life. 

“Don’t change a thing.” Alastor directed as she settled into the posture he wanted, allowing silence to fall while she waited for direction.

Her hips rocked more with each step, trying to keep pace with him as he guided her down the sidewalk. It took work to keep her shoulders back and spine straight, more than she expected. It worked muscles she rarely paid much attention to. She focused on her breathing as they passed storefronts, finding a rhythm she could almost comfortably settle into at his side. 

“And how does that make you feel?” Alastor leaned into her as he spoke, encroaching on what little personal space she had with her hand tucked into his arm, “Confident? Prideful? Arrogant?” 

“A little?” She hated that he was right, even a tiny bit. She also hated how bitter the idea of those feelings tasted in her mouth. A woman shouldn’t be confident. She shouldn’t be prideful. To be arrogant was wrong. But did any of that matter, really? Was she not in Hell?

“In Hell, physical power goes a long way,” Alastor began his lecture, “Perceived power goes near as far. By luck alone, you stumbled into the acquaintanceship of powerful people. That and the ability to bluff will protect you from many. Using that pretty little head on your shoulders will protect you from many of those who may still try you.”

Amber tried to absorb the advice Alastor had given her. He wasn’t the first person she would expect to give her life coaching in Hell but she was far from in a position to shun it. 

Something had to change though, Angel was right- she couldn’t just hide in the hotel forever. 

He opened the door to a shop for her and ushered her inside with a hand at the small of her back. It was a simple tailor’s shop, with shelves full of bolts of fabric and figures displaying sample patterns. The sheep demon working behind the counter looked absolutely terrified to see the Overlord, a feeling Amber could relate to instantly. Alastor paid the reaction no mind at all however. 

“My little lamb, how are you today?” The sheep meeped out an answer and gathered a stack of shirts, mostly red but some back and all near identical from what Amber could see.

“Your order, Mr. Alastor, Sir. If you’d like to inspect it before I wrap it?” 

“Very good,” Alastor gave the stack a fleeting glance as he pulled Amber up to the counter. “I have another task for you of rather urgent need, I do hope you can accommodate it?” 

The sheep meeped again, clearly too terrified to turn the powerful man down. Amber wanted to offer some sort of assistance to the sheep woman, some way to get the attention she was so uncomfortable with off of her but there wasn’t much that could be done. 

“You see, this lovely little fox isn’t well dressed and she needs to be.”

“What would you like?” The woman came around the counter, eager to put her attention on Amber. It gave the small sheep a reason to focus her attention anywhere other than Alastor without appearing rude. 

“Something dignified and elegant.” Alastor answered before Amber could open her mouth. “A few items, skirts and dresses.”

“Colors?” The woman asked.

“Make her match.” Alastor decided with a flick of his wrist as the woman finished taking measurements. She was quick and efficient while Alastor laid out what specifics he wanted. “Have it done by end of tomorrow. Thank you~” 

“That’s so fast!” Amber couldn’t help chastising as Alastor led her out of the store while she tried to turn and face the woman quickly going behind the counter. She wasn’t sure what she wanted to tell the little sheep but somehow, she wanted to reduce the pressure.

“And so the fox does have a voice?” Alastor laughed, unphased by her protests. “I pay a premium to be a priority, I expect to recieve the services I pay for, simple as that. Now, let’s do something about shoes for those feet. What you’re wearing is simply dreadful.”

~~~~~<3

Amber had no idea what to make of the day. A imp man thing, black as night and tinted with green walked behind them carrying her bags, not that there were a great many of them. The lines and eyes of the imp were lime green. 

A flash of her life top side reminded her that evil was always lime green. That was just in Disney movies however. This was real life. Well, real after life. Fuck this was weird. Who would have thought Hell would be so normal and yet so weird. 

“Thank you,” Amber struggled to find her voice. She didn’t know what to make of Alastor. The man still scared her but he hadn’t been anything other than joyfully creepy.

“It is nothing my dear. It wouldn’t do to let the spider dress you alone. He’d have you looking a unsavory lady of the night. That would surely give our fine establishment a poor reputation.” Rude. Not totally wrong but still, rude. 

“Can’t have that.” Amber braved saying. 

While Angel hadn’t pushed her to buy anything she said no to, he did push her comfort level. It didn’t take much to do that however, her life up top had been full of below the knee skirts, high necklines and long sleeves. 

With the simple blouses, modest skirts and slacks that Alastor was having tailored for her, she was being afforded the ability to tone down what had already been acquired. Hopefully she could find a middle ground that allowed her to live her afterlife a little more free and still not feel so exposed. 

“Indeed, we cannot.” Alastor hummed a bouncy tune as he walked them down the sidewalk, his steps light. 

They walked in near silence otherwise, just the clicking of their heels against the concrete and the melody from Alastor. As they went though, Amber received a sharp correction each time her spine slouched or her shoulders moved forward. The cane floated behind her, smacking whatever part of her fell out of his desired alignment was quickly becoming her number one enamy in Hell. 

“That’s starting to hurt.” Amber grumbled as the hotel drew closer.

“Oh? Don’t want to be corrected, do not do anything needing correction. I can’t have a limp flower on my arm.” 

~~~~~<3

“Welcome back!” Charlie was eager to see them enter, nearly exploding as soon as the door opened. 

Amber ducked away from Alastor as he held the door open for her. It felt ridiculous honestly, to scurry away from him after having spent hours with him but she couldn’t help it. Her back ached from maintaining the posture he demanded and she wasn’t sure what she wanted more- to be free from that damn cane that kept whacking her or free from the imposing presence of Alastor himself. 

“Oh good, Creepyface didn’t eat you.” Angel joked, or at least she had hope that it was a joke, as she put more and more distance between the towering man in red and herself. It felt like she could finally breathe.

“Tomorrow you’ll accompany me to collect your items.” Alastor announced, rather than asked. 

“Oh, okay.” Amber said dumbly, wanting to say anything else. 

“Seriously, I’m glad he didn’t eat you.” Angel said, passing Amber a drink as she reached the bar. 

“Was that a real concern?” She asked softly, clinging to the safety of what felt like her first friend in hell. 

“I don’t know, probably!” Angel said, looking to the bartender for confirmation. “It’s not crazy, right Husk?”

“Not out of the question.” He grumbled, giving Angel a new glass to replace the one he had given her. 

“So, what did he want with you anyway?” Angel leaned, to the side and crossed his long legs while he gave her his full attention. 

“I don’t know?” Amber grimaced at the taste of the strong drink in the glass Angel had given her as it burned it’s way down her throat. “He was worried about what clothes we got, that they would give the hotel a bad reputation.”

“Figures, stuck up prude.” Angel grumbled, downing his drink only to get a quick refill. “Probably can’t get laid and doesn’t want to be reminded. If he just asked me nicely-” 

“I will close this goddamn bar down.” Husk warned though Amber wasn’t sure the hotel bar ever closed. 

“I am sure he doesn’t need help with that,” Amber tried to defend. 

Alastor was a handsome man in his own demonic way and power radiated off him. Sure, he was smile was sickeningly yellow and he was terrifying but since the dawn of time, woman have been falling at the feet of terrifying men. Panties dropped for powerful men all the time, looks be damned. 

“He’s not unattractive and is a gentleman,” She added. 

“Ha!” Angel snorted into his drink. “But that smile! I bet woman dry up as soon as he turns that creepy look on them.”

“That’s so rude.” Amber hushed him, trying not to laugh at the way Angel waved his arms, ever so animated. 

“I guess there’s a kink for everything,” Angel sighed. “Would you fuck him?”

“Oh, I- I don’t, I mean- I, I don’t know him, not really. And he wouldn’t, I mean-”

“I’m fuckin with ya, Foxy. Calm down!” Angel laughed, downing his drink. “I don’t think he fucks anyway, even if you were interested. I’ve tried!” 

“I am going to bed.” Amber decided, knowing it was the only way she was going to escape this situation. There wasn’t any way in the goddamn world she wanted to have this conversation. 

Alastor creeped her the fuck out. The idea of Alastor fucking creeped her the fuck out. The idea of fucking Alastor should creep her the fuck out. It would any sane person and the fact that it didn’t totally was not something she was going to dwell on. 

Not after spending what felt like hours being smacked by his cane. Her fucking back was probably going to be bruised. That’s what she needed to be focused on. That and figuring out how to exist in a way that kept Alastor’s attention off of ‘correcting’ her. 

What she needed to dwell on was the fact that she was weak, powerless, weaponless and stuck in hell with nothing but a hotel to protect her. Sure, she’d come a hell of a long way, she had a bed to sleep in and now clothes to wear but all it would take was them deciding she wasn’t worthy or something and she was back to hiding in alleyways and trying to not draw attention. 

“Amber?” It was Charlie’s voice that stopped her in the hall, turning to face the tall princess. The air around Charlie was different. The sunshine and rainbows had been replaced by a soft assurance. She was in Princess mode. “Are you okay?” 

“Yeah,” Amber was caught off guard, far more used to seeing her in her over eager high energy mode the princess existed in most of the time. “Is that surprising?” 

“No! No, I just-” Charlie struggled to put her words together. “Alastor’s just, he can be a lot sometimes.” 

Amber laughed, she couldn’t say why. Maybe her sanity was fracturing. Maybe Hell was getting to her. Maybe she finally felt safe. Maybe it was the whacks to the back of her head when her eyes would fall to the ground as they walked. 

“I had better times before,” She settled on saying. “But it wasn’t the worst time I’ve had. I- He’s really intimidating.” 

“Be careful with him, okay? Don’t make any deals with him.”

“He’s dangerous.” Amber stated rather than asked. 

“Very.” Charlie confirmed before adding, “He wouldn’t hurt a guest though!” as if that wasn’t in direct contradiction to her direction to be careful. “I’ll let you get some rest.”

“Charlie?” Amber called as the other woman made it a few feet down the hall. When Charlie looked back to Amber, she said “Thank you, for giving me a place to stay.” 

~~~~~<3

The morning brought a fresh redemption activity. Amber was certain they wouldn’t work, hell surely wasn’t something you escaped from but who was she to argue. She was a guest, living rent free in exchange for whatever straightening up she could come up with to do and an honest attempt at participation. 

Opening the door to head down, she walked right into the massive pink frame of Angel. 

“Sorry Foxy.” He caught her with his lower arms, keeping her from falling. “I found the buttons and thread. Figured we’d fix your clothes up.” In his upper hands he held a pair of scissors and a small sewing kit, safely above her head. It had to be nice to have four hands, once one got over the weirdness of it. 

Nodding, Amber let him in for what ended up being the most awkward experience in her afterlife. He had her lift her shirt so he could see her ass clearly and establish where and how exactly her tail extended from her body. 

He was so tall and lanky that he could sit on the floor and comfortably grab at her clothes, moving her how he wanted without having to slouch down. Amber couldn’t even begin to imagine what the world looked like from his stature. How was it everyone around her was so fucking tall, with few exceptions and she only gained a few inches in her afterlife?

He cut down the back seam of her leggings until her tail rested naturally, though the rest of her was far from comfortable with the pink face focusing so intently on her ass. Sure, he looked at, touched and fucked asses all night, every night for his employment. For him, it was probably as normal as looking at someone’s hand or arm. 

For Amber though, she didn’t have nearly as much experience having her ass examined. Especially knowingly. She had been sheltered, having only been with one man and if others looked at her ass to appreciate it, it was a moral failing on her part. 

“Cute panties, oh wait- you’re not wearing any!” Angel laughed as he moved the fabric around. 

“Shut up.” She hated that her voice was more of an embarrassed whine than forceful. It would have just been another layer of fabric that was bunched awkwardly under her tail. It was just another moral failing. 

“You’re so goddamn pure.” Angel laughed. “Why the hell are you here?” 

“Guess I wasn’t pure enough.” Amber shrugged, not knowing if she wanted to say why or if he really wanted to know. 

It wasn’t something she really heard a lot of people saying. Perhaps most people had many reasons they were in hell and couldn’t identify the one thing that tipped the balance of their soul. Maybe she was wrong and it wouldn’t have mattered if she hadn’t done that thing and just being in the wrong faith was enough. 

Did it fucking matter?

“How’s that feel?” Angel asked instead of teasing her anymore while he examined her tail. His finger traced down her spine from her lower back down to where the vertebrae shifted, shooting out and continuing into the tail instead of terminating into the sacrum. 

“Better.” She had to admit all the awkward attention on her ass was worth it.

“Good. Don’t move or I might sew your ass cheeks together.” Angel said though Amber knew the general set up of her body made that unlikely. “Or I would if you had much of an ass back here.” 

He first set a stitch at the seam, preventing any further unraveling of her pants. After that, he put a button on the waistband and created a hole for it. It wasn’t his neatest work he’d ever done but it would hold. 

“We could stick a bow on it next time- that’d be kind of hot.” Angel laughed as Amber squeaked at the indecent idea. “Make your little ass a present.” 

“Shut up,” Amber whined as Angel laughed. This was what it felt like to have a friend. It was foreign, something she hadn’t realized that she missed from life. “You’re an ass.” 

“Yeah, yeah.” Angel swatted her ass before acting like the strike hurt his hand. “Settle down and let me button you up.” 

“Thank you.” Amber wiggled her tail as Angel buttoned the back of her pants, enjoying the feeling of having it freely move while trying to ignore Angel. 

“It’s not perfect but it’ll hold. I’ll do the rest later if ya want.”

“I can do them I think, if I use this as a guide. Thank you though.” 

~~~~~<3

Charlie had exercises lined up. It didn’t feel like it had much of a point but who was Amber to challenge the process. The ever so kind princess was wholly invested in her plan to redeem sinners even if the group she had to work with was mostly hotel staff. 

“So, I thought- maybe we can learn about each other’s lives from up top!” Charlie seemed very proud of herself for the idea as everyone in the room shifted uncomfortably. “Who wants to go first?” 

Crickets. Amber felt bad for the silence that stretched on. No one seemed eager to talk about their living lives. She certainly didn’t want to. 

“Okay, I’ll go first!” Charlie decided. Amber could feel her ears twitching doubtfully atop her head. “I have never actually been up top! I was born and raised here.” 

It shocked Amber that the princess had always been in hell. The woman was more sunshine and rainbows than most people she had known in her life. If anyone deserved a life, it was her. 

“You next!” Charlie pointed at her girlfriend who looked extremely uncomfortable. 

“I had a lot of sisters.” Vaggie threw out as Charlie squealed in joy before all attention was directed to Angel.

He was just as uncomfortable as Vaggie appeared. “I came from a large Italian American family.” He took the path Vaggie had chosen as well, going with a generic family answer. Not participating but still participating just enough to skate by. 

Husk had a likewise vague answer. All anyone was learning about their hotel housemates was that they had come from families which was a given. They had to be born and raised at some point. Even Nifty’s answer had been family based- Though Amber couldn’t imagine it, she had been alive at one point too and had no siblings. 

Soon enough, all eyes were on her. It felt like the shadows themselves had eyes that were trained on her. Never in her life had Amber wanted less attention on her. It was suffocating.

“I had a daughter.” She finally said, looking into Charlie’s eyes and deciding to give her a bone, just a little bit more of herself than the others have given. “She was beautiful and caring and kind and sweet. The light of my life.”

“She’s still alive.” Angel assumed. It would make sense, Amber was just recently deceased and children do tend to outlive their parents. 

“No,” Amber physically cringed back from the memory even as she forced herself to give more. It was the least she could do to support the princess that so whole heartedly took her in. “She passed shortly before I did.”

Amber stood from her chair in a hurry. She wanted a drink or she wanted to run but neither would have been a nice thing to do. It wasn’t Charlie’s fault that her little trust game struck a nerve. Likewise, it wasn’t her fault that Amber had decided to share her daughter and not something painless like having a father or sister or pet. 

“I should go straighten up… something.” Amber decided. 

#Alastor x oc #Alastor x original character #alastor x reader #alastor x you #hazbin alastor x reader #hazbin alastor x you #hazbin alastor x oc #alastor x y/n

[amiwritesthings]

fic quiz

Tagged by @wastemanjohn thank you, bestie!

1. How many works do you have on ao3

87, but it's gonna be 90 by the new year :)

2. What’s your total ao3 word count?

307,764

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Mostly spn rpf, but will do spn for friends :)

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

when i dream (i'm doing you all night)

crawl all over you like a kudzu vine

tell me your heart will never change

cool me down

i just wanna feel your love

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I try to, it just usually takes a while. I love comments so much and rest assured by the time I do get around to replying, I have devoured your comment a couple dozen times!!

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

oh, hands down, (can't live) with or without you!

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Funnily enough, even though I tend so write soft shit, I don't really go for a traditional happy ending that often? the closest is probably caught up in this rush though, i guess.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Thankfully, not really, no.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Uhm yeah. All kinds, lol. Soft, kinky, sometimes a little dark.

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

Nope, not really my thing.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Heavily plagiarized, yes. Reported to AO3, got taken down.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

I've had people ask for permission but I don't know if they actually ever did it.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Yeah, back when I was young lol I don't think any of it exists anymore tho.

14. What’s your all time favorite ship?

That is so hard, omg. The one I've written the most is Dean/John but it also the one giving me the most anxiety. I guess the ship that's brought (and keeps bringing me) the most joy is JDM/Jackles.

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

Okay I'm not gonna lie I have a lot of wips that I haven't worked on in forever but that are still very much on my mind. I guess I struggle the most with the thought of finishing sheltered by your heart (don't hate me pls) bc that is the farthest away from what i am currently happy to work on.

16. What are your writing strengths?

man idk. feels? hitting you over the head with feels?

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Dialogue. I'm not witty, I do not enjoy writing it. If I can make it through a fic with only minimal dialogue I will.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

Fun, actually. I don't think I've ever had the opportunity to do it but I do enjoy it quite a lot in other people's writing.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Don't ask me that.

20. Favorite fic you’ve written?

okay, look. I gotta say my name engraved on your heart bc that fic is what it is and I love it dearly BUT the fic I actually most enjoy reading again is can't buy me love (there i said it)

#Tag game #Ami writes

[beautifulpersonpeach]

Hi BBP, thank you for your level-headed take on the hate. That said, could you help a bit more on how to dealing with the overwhelming hate? My timeline was fairly clean, but I was on reddit where there was a very one-sided vitriol towards Jimin and about his singing. So I tried to report on different platforms and my exposure to these vile accusations and sexually charged hate speech made me really sad. Idk how you've been able to report and deplatform some of the most awful bunch in the past. How do you not get emotionally drained? I feel so indignant for Jimin and I can't help but feeling hurt, which I know is not a good approach. I wanted to enjoy this comeback wholeheartedly, but I now feel a heavy weight in my heart. I also know that Jimin is a perfectionist and very hard on himself, I hope that he isn't beating himself up too much. He is a phenomenal artist, and I hope the recency bias doesn't get to him too much. If this is what (probably nowhere near the magnitude given the severity and size of army fandom at the time) army+bts went through in 2016-2018, then I can't commend the perseverance and strength of them enough. It's really incredible, and makes me feel better and want to do better. It's equal sign & letter time, I guess. Regardless, your advice would be much appreciated.

*

Ask 2: Lool Jimin is an embarrassment >..< Armys act high and mighty pretending you don't see that sorry excuse for an idol getting dragged all over Twitter lmfao lmfao >..< I wonder what you're going to say now BPP how will you spin it >..< Or are you going to defend his encore bleating?? Jimboy is my bias in BTS >..< you know why BPP? Bcos he can't lie Your boys tried pretending they're singers oh they tried hardddd but Jimin didn't get the memo!! I thought it will be Namjoon to fuck up first in solos given how sex obsessed he is but he pulled through lucky you BPP. Not lucky j-hope flopped >..< but Armys pretended he didn't. Jimin is where all the pretense dies. In solo era your dozens can't hide BPP and no amount of mass buying will change it. Thanks to Jimin the whole world knows BTS is a fraud >..< One day the whole tower of cards will come falling down. Your sick cult fandom will be exposed and your emperor will have no clothes. You know it no wonder you're miserable harassing bloggers here. Do you think people don't notice? How you steal from people here? Your favs are just like you.

Stop harassing bloggers here. You're not satisfied to run them off the app? Go back to the gutter you crawled out of and take your disgusting privileged dozens with you. Nobody will notice and there will be peace.

*

Ask 3: Ngl Bpp, but the success Face is getting in countries like Japan and UK really surprises me. I mean I was expecting him to do numbers but I didn’t expect it to do this well? Specially after all the stuff that’s been happening left and right. I know he’s Jimin and the maknaes in general are expected to do really well because they’re super popular and have tons of solos on top of that too but still. I’m not knocking on Face at all because it’s definitely my top 2 debuts but I guess you’re right that Jimin did unleash something that he hides away deliberately…

I’m expecting even more for Jungkook too especially if he goes more poppy. For Tae I think it will do just as well as Jimins, less maybe if he goes the jazzy, slow type that he’s done but I think he’ll do better in Korea if that’s the case. I’m really curious what those two are planning because they’ve been working on their solos for years now and have scrapped a ton of songs already. I wonder if they’ll flip the expectations too like Jimin did.

***

Hi Anon(s),

Anon in ask 1, the second ask in this post is here for your benefit. Normally when I get asks like that, I delete them. I don't get the really creepy ones anymore because escalating the issue to Tumblr each time got the creepy users permanently banned from the platform. The asks I end up keeping now are the ones that occasionally make me chuckle, like Ask 2. I just thought (and still think) it was so odd but quaint to say "Jimboy". Lol. As though Jimin's name is Jimmy... and like it's 2023, who actually says "Jimboy"? Also, "the emperor will have no clothes"?? I know what that means but it was so random I actually laughed reading it. It's also the most recent hate ask so I didn't have to scroll that far to get it lol.

What did you feel reading that ask? Annoyance? Anger? Confusion? Amusement? Bewilderment? Hate? Now, has anything changed in the last few minutes, in the real world, since the time you read that opinion and now? Actually, who even is this person saying it? They can't be anybody worth listening to if what they're saying isn't based in fact to begin with, can they? Until now I've never actually sat down to think this out, but that's basically the chain of questions that shoots down my mind in a split second when I see things like Ask 2. In fact my only takeaway from that ask is it's a shame its author is a bit insane, because I actually like their sense of humor. I mean, "Jimboy"? Really?

My point in saying this is, your personality will always impact how you approach hate, and this is something I didn't fully appreciate until recently. My personality is such that exposure therapy really does work on me - I've been into this for so long that few things are genuinely surprising (which is one reason I appreciate BTS/HYBE because that SM fiasco? Lol! Was left-field grade A entertainment. 10 years on and they still impact this system like new blood). Anyway, a lot of the talking points and insults get old. Like I know that in 2026 we'll be answering these exact same questions when a new wave of fans join the fandom, because this has happened every 2 - 3 years since 2013. When I first started actively writing on this blog, it was around the time Jimin was in a controversy related to missed insurance payments I think. There was a lot of hate and at first I'd respond to asks by pointing out how this will hardly impact Jimin in the real world, how Jimin hardly comes online anyway, how the people who write things like that are weird and miserable, how they're essentially binary code... I didn't appreciate that some people need more to understand what's happening because the scale and pervasiveness of hate in k-pop, whether in shippers, solos, ARMYs, or k-pop stans, is frankly senseless. So, I'll say a few more things if you don't mind.

Specifically on how to deal will hate towards Jimin or idols you like:

This might be weird to say, but one thing I consider very important is to remember what you are. You're a fan. That's it. Your scope of effective change is mostly beneficial when compounded with other fans' efforts. And even then, Jimin is his own person, a person strong enough to thrive in an environment as caustic as this, surrounded by people he loves and people who love him. So I get it when you say things like, "I feel so indignant for Jimin and I can't help but feeling hurt," but at the same time, it will be easier to detach and gain perspective when you remember what you are in this situation, a fan. And so is that person hating him. It's okay to just step back, log off, and go do something else if you're not in the mood to respond to them clearly, or to just report and block (recommended). Jimin is more than fine. Obviously. He already hears how much of a respected artist he is from his bandmates, their staff, talkshow hosts, interviewers, and designers, and what I suspect he'd like to see more is the response from his fans. So if you like what you're hearing, express that however you like. Just doing that is powerful and amazing. And going by that meme dance (the one JK too did), that Jimin posted on Instagram, maybe Jimin will notice how you express your love for his work. I'm writing all this to show it's not merely cliché to say focus on the music, it really just makes sense.

Anon in ask 3, thanks for providing a good segue into showing one of the best ways to deal with criticism IMO: actually listen to the music and support the artist. You were mad, amused, or both, reading Ask 2 weren't you? It didn't seem rational to you at all, did it? Responding to posts like that Anon's will take time away from you enjoying or assessing what Jimin has released, so it only makes sense to just focus on Jimin and support him harder. That's what ARMYs and his other fans did for him the last two weeks, and that's what they'll do again for Yoongi's D-Day release.

[ Your surprise at Jimin doing so well though lol... Jimin released the album of the year, ended k-pop, and owned every live performance, and you're surprised the fandom rallied for him and the world loved his work? Come now. ]

Speaking of D-Day's release and ARMY support, Taehyung and Jung Kook's debut will be so chaotic for the fandom oh lawd. I almost don't want to be here for it, but I also don't want to miss it because theirs could be the biggest debuts in the group and I honestly like Taekook's music so far. Both Tae and JK have made pop tunes so I assume they'll have a mix of pop, R&B, jazz, and/or hip hop in their albums. Let's pray Jungkook was thoroughly inspired by Jimin in Set Me Free Pt 2 and we get nasty rapper JK in JJK1, or a feature with one. We know Jungkook will be dancing hard in at least one MV too...

Besides that I have no expectations for Tae and JK. They'll both do very well.

*

Anon in ask 1, hate is something you'll only see more of unfortunately the longer you spend time in k-pop circles online, especially if BTS remains at the top of the hierarchy for a lot longer. I think whatever impact that will have on BTS will be insignificant so long as each member keeps making art. I could be wrong but that's also an outcome outside of our control, so why fret about it. Also, I personally enjoy a good debate and don't mind seeing critiques often because sometimes you learn something new, so I'd encourage you to remain in the spaces you're in, but it's also okay to curate your feed or block spaces that are clearly toxic to you. It takes a few tweaks but it's possible to curate a fan space online that's fun and helpful/informative to you as a fan. My $0.02: if that's what you want though, don't open a Tumblr account and turn on the Anon feature. Lol. A lot of people are just weird.

#fandom behaviour #bts #bts fandom #army fandom #kpop fandom

[foibles-fables]

Hey! I saw your tweet earlier. I’m sorry you (and many others here) seem to keep receiving so much hate. I’m writing this to send you some love because you deserve it! Thank you for always being a beacon of light in the Horizon fandom. The stuff you write and post always bring a smile to my face. Loved all your comments about Call of the Mountain.

I feel bad about the current state of this fandom. I knew we had some bad apples, but I guess I underestimated them. I know we will eventually bounce back, once the homophobes shut up for good and some of the weirdos calm down a bit. We’ll have our peaceful little corner of the internet again.

And that will only happen thanks to people like you, meg-noel-art, and many others who, somehow, always manage to keep things light and fun. As they should be.

PS: This the first ask I send you and I’m sorry for never commenting or saying much. English is not my first (or even second) language, and I am a little shy. I’m more of a lurker, I guess. Also, seeing all the recent attacks might have made me crawl further into my little comfort safety zone lol.

PPS: Full disclosure: my main horizon ship is Ereloy. However, I absolutely love everything you and meg-noel-art post about Talanoy. I try to like and reblog everything I see. Though I always low-key shipped them, since ZD, I guess I’m almost completely converted now because of you. I, too, miss Talanah lol Also, for some reason, the DLC only made me ship them harder. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Sorry for the long message and thank you, again! Cant' wait for the focus network fanzine!

Oh my goodness--thank you SO MUCH for this kind ask. Seriously, this made me smile so much after a ridiculous day, and I appreciate it more than you can even know! Totally flattered you've enjoyed being around and have liked all the silliness I've put out--seriously, my heart is so full <3 <3 <3

The fandom is definitely going through A Moment. And honestly, the gross mainstream homophobia and the shipping gatekeeping/discourse alike are starting to get pretty exhausting. But I'm definitely trying my best to do as you said--to be a beacon for the fandom--until things calm down! Because they absolutely will. We've carved out a nice space, and when everything settles, the peace will return.

Again, I'm so grateful that you decided to reach out! Keep on enjoying your fave ships, and I truly hope you love the zine! Lots of great stuff coming up :) have THE BEST day and please take care!!!

#my heart is so full nonny thank you #i'm so glad you're here #kindness counts!!!

[brightwanderer]

Hi helen, thanks for the explanations. Sorry for bothering you but can I ask,

Does locking fic next time I publish really help? Don't they have a way to breach Ao3's data since it's an AI? I also assume this isn't just sudowrites. Other AI writing services are probably doing so too, right? Like NovelAI

I'm afraid we're at about the limit of my knowledge here - I'm neither an industry expert on AI learning nor do I have the spoons for more research than I've done.

With that caveat, my understanding of the situation is this.

There is a "natural language" algorithm called GPT-3, which can be used by anyone to power their own apps (via subscription model) and has been trained on data from Common Crawl.

Common Crawl is a non-profit dedicated to archiving data from the internet and making it freely available to anyone. GPT-3 is the work of OpenAI, which also created the DALL-E visual art generator.

Sudowrite and other "novel generator" sites like it are using the GPT-3 base to generate "natural sounding" text. The stated goal of Sudowrite is to assist writers with their own work, by generating a couple more sentences when they're stuck, or new brainstorming ideas, or names for people and places.

One thing I do want to stress: this is NOT really an AI. There is no intelligence, decision-making, or independent action going on here. To explain it as simply as possible, what it does is a) look at what it's learned from ALL OF THE INTERNET, then b) look at a sentence you have given it (e.g. "it was a dark and stormy night"), then c) spit back out some content that, statistically, fits the patterns it has observed in all the other times someone has written "it was a dark and stormy night".

Given that you have to "train" GPT-3 towards whatever you specifically want it to do (fiction, news, chat bots, etc), and given that Sudowrite produces so much fandom-specific content so easily, I would guess that the Sudowrite version of GPT-3 has been given additional training using freely-available fanfiction, from AO3 or otherwise - but I do not know enough about the nuances of this technology to be sure.

So to answer your questions as best I can:

Locking your works on AO3 should protect them from being included in Common Crawl and similar datasets, I believe. This means they will also not be archived by the Internet Archive or appear on the Wayback Machine, will not appear in searches etc going forward, although anything that has already been archived will still be in those sets of data.

This may or may not do anything to keep them out of the pool for future generative algorithms.

This may or may not do anything to stop people specifically using fanfiction as additional training for creative writing AIs, depending on how they are obtaining that training data in the first place. (E.g. if everything on AO3 was locked tomorrow, someone could still just create an account and laboriously download a ton of random fic to use. Whether they would bother is another question.)

My personal take: we are long overdue a big conversation about data, and what is and should be freely available, and how content-creating AIs are being deployed and monetised. This is something that needs regulation and oversight, and we should be making a fuss about it.

(Not least because if you search the internet for "how to" articles on pretty much anything at this point, you will get a LOT of results written by this sort of AI generator. They look like real human text to start with, but as you read on you notice that there are weird little glitches, and then the instructions for making papier mache suddenly tell you to boil an egg, and you realise you can't actually trust anything you just read because it was auto-generated and may not work or be safe. True story.)

However. I am not myself concerned about the possibility that my writing has been used in this dataset. I don't like it or approve of it on a general level, but I don't believe it does me any harm or even meaningfully translates into "someone else profiting off my work". As far as I understand the technology, it will not be plagiarising any of my actual text. My biggest concern is with how readily it puts together context based on exisiting works. It's very obvious with something like Harry Potter, but if someone is looking for "names for magical items" and end up with three unique things I put in one of my stories and uses those in their work... yeah, that feels like a mess waiting to happen.

I'm also not concerned about AI "replacing" writers (or other artists). There is a lot more to creating art than putting words together or making brush-strokes. The AI can only spit out what was put into it, and it's always going to pick the most statistically likely option. That means in terms of storytelling, you will get cliche after cliche, empty dialogue that sounds good but doesn't mean anything, repeating the same themes with occasional nonsensical diversions for "variety", a general sense of hollowness and lack of actual human input...

... wait. Did anyone check whether Marvel's already using this thing?

#long post #ai plagiarism #sudowrite #asks #gpt-3 #common crawl #openai #writing #fanfic #ai art

[sevensided]

Hi i just wanted to say first of all that you're one of the authors i most admire - and i don't mean just with fics/fandom, i mean in general. You're genuinely one of the best authors i've ever read, and you've been such a big inspiration to me personally, so thank you for being so lovely and sharing such beautiful works with the world <3

I did actually have a question! Do you have any advice about dealing with writer's block or feeling unmotivated to write? I wrote so much in the past year and now i feel like i've hit a wall, and it's made me kind of sad? Like i wake up every day and want to write, but i just can't get it to work like i used to. I didn't know if you maybe had any advice on it or anything that's helped you in the past, but i figured it wouldn't hurt to try and ask!

Again, thank you for sharing your beautiful writing with the world - i'm grateful for it every day. I hope everything is going well with you <3

Hello! I have been mulling over your question for a while, so I hope you'll forgive my delay in responding to you. Thank you sincerely for your compliments; it is seriously humbling to think that my writing has had that kind of impact. Thank you.

The thing about writer's block is that we all have it. I often go through huge waves of inspiration and activity where I can write intensely. But that is also followed by periods where it literally feels like a physical wall is blocking me off from any creativity or motivation. I really feel you. I only recently crawled out of that hole.

I don't think there is a one-size-fits-all answer, to be honest. What does help me is shifting focus to something else. For example, when I recently had writer's block I simply accepted it and indulged in watching some shows that I hadn't seen before (HBO's Perry Mason). I found that surprisingly inspiring, and what do you know, I have an idea for a fic and I've banged out close to 10k. That flowed onto another fic (not ST) that I'm working on. And now I'm back in my groove.

Sometimes I think it's about removing yourself from whatever you know you want to write. It's easy to get down on yourself and focus on the negative components: that you're lazy, or not good enough, or that you should just 'get over it'. Writing is tremendously difficult. It takes creative space and freedom and patience. These things cannot be summoned. But you can make those spaces for yourself.

I try to be intentional in how I use my creative energy, and I also restrict it. That might sound counter-intuitive, but I swear that it works. I will indulge my writing for a few hours before I make myself stop. I close the document and log out. The next day, I'm ready to go; I've been simmering for hours, I have so many ideas, I have to write! It's about stretching out that creative energy instead of depleting it so much that you need to recover, and then, before you know it, it's been months since you've written anything.

I also find that being accountable to someone else helps. I have a very, very dear friend who indulges me and will read all of my work, even if it's shit or not thought out. She is the best cheerleader. Sometimes you just need to know that someone will actually read whatever it is you're thinking of. They don't have to critique; they just have to read. Being able to promise another chapter to them does help with motivation.

I would also suggest carving out time for writing, and potentially putting a time restriction on it. Say you come home from a long day at work, and all you want is to eat dinner and relax and go to bed. Try and add writing in there too. Eat dinner, then get comfy and open your laptop/phone. Challenge yourself to write at least a paragraph. When you get going, stop yourself. Close your device. Put on some TV. Go to bed. Restrict the flow - then rinse and repeat. See if you can write more the next evening, and the next, and the next. And most importantly: do not read what you have written. Just keep going. Resist the urge to edit as you go. If you're insecure about your writing, editing is the death sentence, because it is the voice in the back of your head that tells you this will never be good enough, so why even try? Shut that voice up by pushing and pushing until you have 1k, 2k, then allow yourself to read and edit. Trust me, that voice is WRONG and the only way to overcome it is to learn how to manage it.

Another thing I would suggest is working on another project. Try writing some short piece unrelated to your current WIP. Some 500 words of pure chaos. Tidy it up. Publish it. Keep doing that. Keep putting work out there, just to have it in the universe. If you keep your writing in your head, you will not have enough space to write. Get it out!!! Free up your creative energy! Keep going!

The fact that you have had this momentum before is amazing. It sounds like you might be a little tired or creatively burned out. Try what I've suggested and see what happens. I'm also always down to chat about these processes, so feel free to IM me. You've got this.

#answered #writing help #writing advice