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#my first time drawing any of them.........
poorly-drawn-mdzs · 3 days
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In Stars and Disco
(Disco side of the swap)
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splankie · 3 days
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is blowing up a volcano after ur first kiss couple goals
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angelltheninth · 3 days
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YOUUUUU... YOUU.... ( :゚皿゚) YOU'RE THE CULPRIT WHO CAUSED MY EXTREME HSR BRAINROT GRRRRR (/pos)
i loveloveloveloveloveLOOOOOOVE your writing first of all (*σ´ェ`)σ
AND SECOND OF ALL THE WAY U WRITE HSR MEN HAS MY TOES CURLING AND CRAMPING. anyways! we need more love for DR RATIO plsplsplsplspslsplspslsspdlshq
i am humbly requesting for headcanons of veritas as a lover (husband) sfw and nsfw pretty pls :3
(can i be 👾 or ⛸️ anon if any of those are available ?? if not, i give u free real estate to pick (ФωФ))
You got me, I'm guilty lol.
Pairing: Veritas Ratio x Fem!Reader
Tags: nsfw, fluff, smut, domestic bliss, eating together, working too much, lazy sex, bathing together
A/N: I'm not smart, I can't do math at all.
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Your husband Veritas Ratio wakes up before you and plans his entire day while making sure he leaves enough quality time to spend with you and leave enough time for a good night of rest
Your husband Veritas Ratio looks forward to you visiting him at work and bringing him a meal that you can eat together, he's had enough of those snack bars
Your husband Veritas Ratio always leaves notes around your home, he's organized but it doesn't make any sense to you cause you don't see the patterns he does so to you it's just chaos
Your husband Veritas Ratio mistook his work notebook for your notebook of potential baby names and spent whole day thinking about what a perfect mix of you two might be like, it was that night that you decided to try for a baby
Your husband Veritas Ratio gets carried away with talking about you, he gets carried away with everything so everyone at work knows so much about you now, which he hates but it's his own fault
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Your husband Veritas Ratio remembers your anniversary so he can take the whole day off, but for that he worked extra hard the weeks before so he has a lot of stress to fuck out, you better be ready
Your husband Veritas Ratio likes to play a game where mumbles equations in your ear and then wants you to repeat them back to him, for each one you get correct you get an orgasm
Your husband Veritas Ratio blushes pretty easily when you wash his back, he likes to be in the bath with you, not the in his opinion, too soft side it draws from him so he needs to balance it with sucking on your tits while he rapidly moves his fingers in and out of your already wet pussy
Your husband Veritas Ratio spends a lot of time in his study so you get needy, prompting you to suck his cock under said desk until he loses his focus and has to pay attention to his loving wife
Your husband Veritas Ratio never thought he'd go crazy for your small baby bump but there he was, kissing and rubbing it while desperately fucking his cock between your soft, clenched thigh because he doesn't want to risk hurting the growing baby
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Dividers by: @/cafekitsune
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pocket-watcher · 3 days
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I slowly opened the door. My roommates had been acting weird the past few days, but I’d shrugged it off.
There, leaning against his desk on one side of the room was Carter. Sitting on Carter’s bed, one of the few places there were to sit in the room, was Myles.
“Uh… you needed me?” I looked up at Carter. His usually playful demeanour was slightly off. I looked at Myles to see if he had any clue what was going on but he seemed like his usual smiley self.
“Yes… what do you know about hypnosis?” Carter asked.
My face felt hot, and so, I bluffed.
“Not much. I think I saw it in some TV shows?” I felt my voice go higher than normal.
His eyes lit up in challenge.
“Do you believe in it?” He asked again. Myles seemed confused too.
“Not really, I mean. It’s kinda sci-fi, right?” I laughed it off - pushing down any thoughts of he knows he knows oh god he knows-
“Maybe. What about you, Myles? Do you believe in hypnosis?” Carter had a mischievous look in his eyes.
Myles brushed it off. “Nah, of course not. It’s like flying or telekinesis or something.”
Carter locked eyes with me.
“Wanna see a cool trick?” He asked, raising his fingers to snap.
“No!” I heard my own voice ring out.
There wasn’t any fear or attempt to stop this from Myles. Just confusion. From me, however?
I’d just given myself away.
Carter snapped and Myles’ head dropped instantly, rolling back and forth before settling in the centre of his chest.
Carter grinned wickedly.
“What did you do?!” I gasped, running over to him. “Myles? Can you hear me?”
No response.
“What did I do?” Carter asked, still not moving from where he was leaning. I kept one eye on him as I shook Myles, getting more desperate. “Why, the same thing I’m about to do to you.”
The statement echoed inside my head. Fear. Dread. Excitement.
I slowly turned to look at Carter.
“Myles, stand.” Carter ordered.
Myles’ eyes opened, half-lidded, mouth agape. He stood and I backed away from him.
“Good boy.” Carter praised.
I started to panic. Shit. Do I run for the door? Both of them are faster than me. Stronger than me too, probably. Why the fuck didn’t I run more or go to the gym or-
Myles mindlessly lunged for me. I scrambled to get away but faltered as the only direction of escape was right towards Carter.
He was waiting there. Watching. Smiling. As if it was all going exactly to plan.
Myles grabbed both of my arms. I’d backed into him in fear, recoiling from Carter at the last second. I struggled but, just as I’d thought, I couldn’t break free.
For the first time during this ordeal Carter stood up and approached us. I looked away, getting a full look at Myles’ blank face looking straight ahead, no matter how much I pleaded with him to just listen to me.
“I understand.” Carter cooed. “You don’t want to submit to me straight away. You like the chase. The struggle. But I know you want to give in to me…”
I looked at him defiantly. The wrong decision. Maybe if I’d thought more about it I’d have realised that was exactly what he wanted.
Carter’s eyes were deep, swirling, drawing me in.
I’d always found him attractive, but now? Now it was like I was losing myself in his eyes. My thoughts slowed. My heartbeat quickened.
I felt my head begin to bow. I tried to look away. Really, I did. But Myles’ hand grabbed my chin and forced my eyes forward once more.
Carter looked at me proudly, as if he’d ensnared his pray. He looked hungry. Cocking his head from side to side and eyes shining as I mirrored his movements.
I felt a smile slowly form on my lips. I was drowning, sinking into his eyes. At some point Myles let go of my arms and began massaging my shoulders. Deeper, deeper. He must’ve known my legs were too weak to run.
It was all so meticulously planned, like a checklist.
Lure me in? Check.
Use Myles to stop me from leaving? Check.
Send me deeper? Check.
Make me lose focus? Check.
Staring into those gorgeous eyes? Check.
As simple and as easy as 1.. 2.. 3…
“You’re doing great. Both of you. Oh the fun we’re going to have with two of you now…”
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scekrex · 2 days
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Nsfw, Adam breeding tran!reader and dirty talking but in a gender affirming manner like 'I'm going to make you a father', 'I hope you're ready to be a daddy cause I'm going to put a baby in you'
Breeding kink my beloved. I feel like Adam's totally into the thought of fucking a child into someone (reader in our case) but actually wanting kids? Fuck no. He had to take care of his kids in the past, ain't no fucking way he wants more
Spin round quick rock yo body
pairing: Adam x trans!male!reader
warnings: language, vaginal sex, no use of female privates though
note: not beta read bc fuck you I don't have beta readers
Adam’s nails dug into your skin as he pushed your hips flush against his own, pounding into you like it was the only thing keeping you alive, like he’d die the moment he’d stop crashing your hips together. You were breathing heavy and so was he as he kept fucking his dick into you, drawing the most glorious sounding moans from your lips that the first man had ever heard - how could a single person sound so divine, so perfectly pure and yet so nasty at the same time? A question Adam would never get an answer to, not that he minded.
“Fuck,” the brunette on top of you huffed as he tugged on your hips to get them closer, his body was acting on instincts and the words left his lips before he could give them a second thought, “Gonna make you a fucking dad, babes.” And your body seemed to like the sound of that, because as soon as those words had fallen from the most perfect lips in all of heaven, a loud moan of the first man’s name was your answer to his plan. You met his thrusts halfway through, high on the thought of Adam breeding you - the fact that you were able to get pregnant had never felt as arousing as it did in that exact moment, the opposite had been the case. It had always given you dysmorphia, so the fact that your mind actually liked the new kind of dirty talk Adam tried was surprising to both of you.
“Imma fill you up with my fucking cum ‘til you can’t take more ‘nd make sure to fuck a goddamn baby in you,” the brunette continued, very visibly enjoying the idea. And while in the back of his mind he knew that winners weren’t able to get pregnant and actually give birth to children, the sheer thought was able to keep him going. It’s not like he had an unfulfilled child wish or whatever - he had children after all, not that they all turned out the way Adam had wanted them to, but he had children of his own and one thing he knew for sure: he didn’t want nor need any more children to take care of, it was worse enough that Sera asked him regularly to babysit Emily - as if the little seraphim wasn’t able to take care of herself. So this was all just a fantasy and it would stay that way - but it was a welcome fantasy, one that you seemed to enjoy just as much as Adam himself was enjoying it, if the noises you were making was anything to go by - for Adam it was and so he kept up his probably new favorite form of dirty talk. “And you’ll take it like the good fucking bitchboy you are for me, aren’t you?”
Your head was pressed firmly against the sheets underneath you, not by Adam though, your body did that to itself. Hips arched you cried out for more, answering his question with desperate cries and by begging him to fill you the fuck up. You weren’t sure how much longer you could take it, you felt your orgasm creep closer, felt the built up in every little muscle of your body yet you found yourself unable to tell Adam so and when you came around his dick only moments later, lubing the first man’s erection with your cum, Adam let a deep moan slip from his lips, slapping your hips lightly, “Fucking needy whore, what will our fucking kid say when he fucking finds out that his dad’s a horny slut for the first fucking man?” The words weren’t with you, the ability to speak had been taken from you by your orgasm and all you were able to do was to look up into shining golden eyes that contained a gigantic amount of lust, you were sure you could drown in those magnificent eyes of his - Adam’s eyes had always been so stupidly beautiful to you, why you didn’t know, probably because you loved him very dearly though.
It didn’t take Adam very long to stay true to his words, with a harsh thrust he buried himself deep inside of you, lighter thrusts followed quíckly as he kept fucking his seeds deeper into you, “I’ll fucking make sure that shit stays inside of you until you give motherfucking birth to my brat.” And how you loved the thought of that, of having Adam’s cum inside of you for as long as he demanded. “Fuck yes,” were the only words you were able to voice before your brain started to fog up with that beautiful post-nut-haze. The brunette on top of you kept fucking his seeds inton you and you doubted he would stop any time soon, that man was on a mission now, no matter if God had made it impossible, Adam’s lust and his nature to reproduce were both kicking in like crazy and that man would do a fucking lot right now to fuck an actual child into you, so he keot rocking his hips against yours. The pace he had set was less brutal and harsh than before. Given Adam’s usual pace this was actually able to be considered soft - well, it surely was soft enough to let you fall asleep. The first man of course noticed that and was quick to change positions without leaving your insides empty for even as much as a second. He pulled you flush against his chest, dropped himself backwards until his back hit the soft yet sweaty sheets and was quick to wrap his wings around you to keep you warm, a blanket simply wouldn’t do. His hips however, continued moving.
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redr0sewrites · 20 hours
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ATSV Characters with a Goth S/o
heeeeeyyyyyy guys 😇 *slowly sliding the 100+ REQUESTS in my inbox to the side to make room for a new special interest*
🥀Cw: none, mostly fluff!!!
🥀Pairing(s): Hobie x reader, Miles x reader, Miguel x reader, Spot x reader
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Hobie
he would LOVE any type of alternative partner tbh- he just LOOOVESSS that ur goth and will support you 100%
people who go against societies expectations/standards and don't fit in with the norm intrigue him, and your style is probably what piqued his interest in the first place
y'all definitely wear matching fits sorry i don't make the rules- hobie just can't pass up the opportunity to match w you!!! whenever you go to meetings within the spider society he always brings you along, regardless of whether or not you're a spiderperson and hobie loves showing off you and your style
MAJOR "THATS MY PARTNER‼️" VIBES
look me in the eyes and tell me hobia would not absolutely rock some funky eyeliner LIKEEEEE- he def lets you practice on him and will do your makeup for you too!!!
hobie loves thrifting with you, there is no way he isn't a major thrifter and you both definitely DIY a lot of your clothes
HE MAKES YOU GUYS MATCHING PUNK BATTLE VESTS FOR YOUR ANNIVERSARY, AND MAKES SURE THAT IT MATCHES UR AESTHETIC AS WELL!!
hobie absolutely has BLESSED music taste, but while he usually listens to rock, punk, dad rock, or post-punk type of music, i def see him enjoying more gothic/new wave music- especially if u introduce it to him!!!
i see him enjoying bauhaus, sisters or mercy, scary bitches, etc- he'll also give YOU a lot of music recommendations and help to expand ur taste!
hobie would also accompany you to any protests or conventions that you wanted to attend, and would act as your scary dog privileges
YOU TWO DEFINITELY GO TO CONCERTS TOGETHER OMG. I TOTALLY SEE THAT AS A SPONTANEOUS DATE THAT YOU TWO ENJOY A LOT
honestly hobie is a lovely partner to have if you are goth, and he's not only supportive but VERY enthusiastic about your fashion and lifestyle!
Miles
hes such a sweetheart!!! he definitely supports you if you're goth and asks a LOOOT of questions lmao
miles draws you and your fashion a lot, and will def design makeup or eyeliner ideas for you too!!! while ik this is more associated with punk, i also see miles drawing you a few custom patches and stuff like that
your kind of like his muse in a way, and miles just really enjoys sketching you, especially since you have such a unique aesthetic and such cool outfits
HE HAS DEFINITELY GRAFFITIED U SOMEWHERE‼️
he loves watching you get ready and do your makeup. seeing you do perfect eyeliner wings and heavy makeup in general lowkey relaxes him, and he just loves admiring you
im sorry but miles knows absolutely nothing about goth music or culture, ur gonna have to introduce him to a lot of the songs/bands!!!
while i don't think he's huge on the music at first, i think it would grow on him over time. its definitely the type of thing that he loves because YOU love it, and he sees how mu much you enjoy it so he starts listening to it as well so he can talk to you about it
i think his favorite band would be the cure, and his fav songs would either be boys dont cry or the walk (both by the cure- idk why thats so specific but they just kinda fit his vibe yk?)
miles likes holding hands a lot, and he loves when you wear rings or gloves or something along those lines because it just reminds him so much of you! your hands just feel different compared to other peoples and he just loves how unique you are
if you have a lot of piercings, miles would definitely ask about them or buy you specific jewelry for piercings!!!!
overall, very very cute and supportive about your style!!! (he lowkey gives bi wife energy, and iyk what in talking ab then ily mwah)
Miguel
he's pretty indifferent to your style at first, i don't see him as the type to judge much based on appearances. its your personality that really throws him for a loop, and a part of him admires your dedication to making yourself look how you want to look and truly living to be your best self, regardless of what others think
if you think miles knows nothing about being goth then be prepared for miguel bc he knows NOTHINGGGG- no music, no history, no political views, zero, zilch, nada, goose egg
if he cares about you i do see him being intrigued about your style, and once you two are officially dating is when he'll show more interest in your personal fashion sense
he strikes me as the type to like, NEVER listen to music, so he literally only listens to the music you like!!! he does find himself occasionally humming the tune of some strawberry switchblade song or casually listening to a siouxsie and the banshees song while he works, and over time you influence him a LOT with your music taste. he definitely associates any and all goth music with YOU, and that's probably why he starts enjoying it.
he's a "hand on you at all times" type of guy, and while he is rarely touchy with others, miguel is definitely keeping you close. your fashion makes that convenient for him, and he loves pulling you into a kiss by grabbing onto your belt loop or something of the sort
miguel loves how you look with and without makeup on and isn't afraid to tell you that, however, he really likes it if you incorporate his colors or color scheme into your makeup one day. he'll never admit it, but you keep catching him admiring you with the smallest smirk on his face every few seconds
if anyone ever gave u shit for what you wear and how you dress, especially someone in the spider society, you'd practically have to restrain miguel from drop kicking them across nueva york- he doesn't want anyone to be rude to you , and while he knows you can stand up for yourself, he just gets protective at times
Spot
goth? whats that???
he's lowkey such a nerd, and spends too much time being science-y and planning on how to beat spiderman to actually get caught up on fashion
spot doesn't know how he pulled you tbh, but he appreciates you nonetheless!!! he thinks you and your aesthetic are something to be admired, and will unabashedly tell EVERYONE he knows about you
he will shoplift any clothing or jewelry that you want, and he'll even take you to other dimensions where there are better alternative clothes as well
spot doesn't really have a face to do makeup on, but he'll offer to do yours for you! surprisingly enough he's pretty good at it, though he does work pretty slowly
spot loves fiddling with your accessories, whenever he's standing near you he's always reaching out to touch you in some way shape or form. he loves playing with any chains or necklaces you wear, and will help adjust them so that they lay correctly
he helps you get ready in the morning!!!!! if ur the type of goth to wear corsets, he makes lacing them up SO easy and will gladly do it for you
i personally hc that spot HATES seeing himself in mirrors/pictures, it reminds him sm of what he used to look like, but he LOVES taking photos of you and your style!! whenever you are wearing a cute outfit or have funky makeup on, spot adores just taking photos of you
if you ever did a makeup look inspired by him and his spots he would probably CRY :(
URGRHHRHHRRR I LOVE ATSV SMMMMMMM!!!! this post will DEFINITELY have a pt2 w more characters!!!!! i swear tho atsv literally pulled me out of the most horrendous burnout ever i FELT the artblock and writing block lift off of my body as i watched it. IM SO INVESTED I MADE A SPIDERSONA...
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someoneinjersey · 1 day
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re: jon bernthal
I like him. I support him. Are there things about him I don't agree with? Sure. But I possess the critical thinking skills to be able to think about someone else's perspective.
He's a Jewish man. I'm sure the decision for him to support Israel (if he does, I haven't seen any definitive evidence except that he had an Israeli soldier on his podcast at some point) comes from a really complicated place. One of my closest friends from 5th grade to graduation is Jewish. Her parents even met at a kibbutz. She works for an organization to help Jewish people in America take trips to Israel. While her FB is private (and I left FB a long time ago), I wouldn't doubt for a second she supports Israel. But she was always one of the kindest and most generous people I ever knew, and I don't think she'd support anything blindly. I think Jewish people in the US are in a really rough spot right now and we need to recognize that as much as we recognize that the country of Israel is committing genocide. It's not as black and white for them as we non-Jewish folks want it to be.
Jon gave a domestic abuser a platform on his podcast. Yeah. A guy who he was friends with who was terrible and went through rehab and therapy and came out with a different perspective. I personally don't like that actor but I didn't enjoy him much after Transformers anyway. If we're close to someone and they do something bad, we usually give them a second chance, maybe more. We're supposed to support growth and change especially with those close to us. In my own life I still spoke to my abusive father for a time after my parents divorced and was at his bedside the day he passed. Another person close to me was accused of SA but I'd known them their whole life and couldn't fathom it being true so I stood by them. That's just life. Life is so fucking complicated.
Jon supports the police and the military. Of course he does, most of the country does and he's played a cop/detective/soldier like a dozen times in his career and spent a ton of time with them to learn about the jobs and the cultures within them. I'm pretty sure that's the first thing people got on his ass for -- not being all ACAB from the start and then later featuring police on his podcast etc. AGAIN, when you KNOW people, it's a lot harder to draw those black and white lines. I'm for defunding the police and reallocating the money for more productive services, I'm against police violence, I'm against the mass incarceration of minorities for minor infractions, I'm against prison slavery, all that shit, and I hate that stupid "thin blue line" nonsense. But I'm not gonna go up to every cop I know and tell them they're a piece of shit. I'm not gonna NOT call the cops when the local addicts go on a B&E spree to steal shit to pay their dealers (true story, we only didn't get robbed because someone is always home).
PLEASE fucking think critically and PLEASE realize that not everything is black and white and PLEASE let people enjoy shit that brings them happiness in this shitty fucking world.
And I'm not looking for arguments or debates on this, thanks.
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jazzyblusnowflake · 2 days
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First off, just wanna say you’re one of my favorite md creators when it comes to art and commentary ❤️ ty for being cool n stuff
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Secondly, got any more nuzi headcanons or aus in mind? Would love to hear about them.
oh shit people ACTUALLY read my commentaries???
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shit, welp time to relocate and change my identity-
and oop i have a lot of AUs, its just that not all of them are nuzi centered XD i mean Nuzi eventually happens, its just that its not the center of the story.
here are some:
i have some personal Reverse Solver au with ocs which is basically an overglorified future au with fankids and humans and aliens and Tessa being alive and new types of drones >:)
i have a Nuzi personality Switch&Swap au which im hoping to draw later on- cuz i already have some story snippets decided on it >:3
i have a massive Human au which i still dont have a name for yet smh- which is very crime, mystery and horror related, the romance comes as a thing that happens during the story- which has a lot of ships that yall probably have seen @keebokuun draw some of uwu basically Uzi is a semi-handicapped girl in the future year of 2371- who in searching for the mystery behind her mothers death, gets stuck in a story way bigger than herself.
i have an Unsolver au in which the solver is just simply a super advanced AI with a sense of indeviduality and the horrors basically just dont happen. Cyn gets to grow as a host, Tessa becomes the head of the mechanical maintanance devision in JCJ, and the disassembler drones are transformed willingly without any gore or beheading lmao. the purpose and plot of the story is something different from the original show, but they eventually do meet Uzi and the others later. its just that the story is a bit extra sunshine and rainbows just cuz i want the characters to have a good ending 😭
Theres the Exorsists au which i posted about a while back :"3 - though this and the Unsolver au are pretty recent and im not sure where to go with them yet, or if i ever will lol but they are fun to think about uwu
anyway i think thats all i can think of for NOW- yall cant keep my brain down for too long lmao- id make a Siren/Mermaid au too but honestly i feel like thats a bit too easy for me, i like a challange- >:3
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drvscarlett · 2 days
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FRESH OUT THE SLAMMER
Esteban Ocon x childhood bestfriend!reader
Summary: Esteban has been pining over his bestfriend for the longest time. How long will it take her to see that what she's looking for is right in front of her?
The Tortured Drivers' Department series
A/N: And the first person that I'll be crossing off the list is Estie bestie. I think he is probably one of the drivers that gives me the wholesome aura. Let me know what you think or if you wanna be added to the taglist.
Taglist. @tea-bobba @boiohboii @c-losur3 @haikyuen @stelena-klayley @stinkyjax @0710khj @jinimon-tr
Now, pretty baby, I'm runnin' back home to you. Fresh out the slammer, I know who my first call will be to.
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02-13-2002
Dear Diary,
Today I met my first ami (ami is friend in french) and he is Esteban something long name Okon. He is so nice to me. He said hi and helped me swing on the swing sets. I hope I meet more ami like Esteban but he is my favoriteeeee!!!
-y/n.
6 years old Esteban was actually running away from class when he stumbled upon a girl swinging alone at the park's swing set. He frowns because he noticed that every kid at the park have someone to play with but she has no one. Esteban was in an internal battle to just leave it alone but he can't help but feel bad for her.
He walked to the girl and he sat next to the empty swing next to her.
Y/N looked at the stranger that just joined her. Her interest was piqued because no one wants to be around her. She blamed it in her inability to speak French so she was hesitant to scare off the potential play mate.
"I'm Esteban, you are new?" Esteban started.
Esteban's english was not perfect especially with a strong French accent but he can hold a good conversation. He can see how the excited grin appeared in her face.
"Y/N! You speak good, can we be friends?" she asked.
She extends her hands to the boy and Esteban shakes it.
"Mon ami"Esteban agrees.
There was a visible confusion in her face. Esteban mentally slaps himself as he forgot that she cannot speak french.
"It mean friends"he added.
"Mon ami Esteban" it rolls right in her tongue.
And although there was a great language barrier, they managed to stay there at the swing sets till it was time to go home for dinner. Their antics and their grand hand gestures helped them communicate with each other.
11-28-2002
Dear Diary,
I told Estie that I will be missing thanksgiving a lot because I don't live in US. His mom and dad cooked, we had our own version of thanksgiving. I'm so grateful to my mon ami, Estie.
-y/n
Usually, Esteban's afterschool routine was drop his bags and leave the house to meet up with his bestfriend, Y/N. They would go sit at the swing set for hours or maybe watch the television at Y/N's house. It was a routine that Mrs. Ocon has been familiar with ever since Y/N came into the picture.
"Maman, can I talk to you about something"
Esteban made a beeline to his mother as soon as he gets home this afternoon.
"Did you have any troubles in school?" Mrs. Ocon wondered.
"Not at all Maman" Esteban answers "I just need help with something Maman about Y/N"
Mrs. Ocon tried to hide the smile in her face as he mutters a soft "oh". Meanwhile, Esteban reached out a piece of paper from his bag.
"Maman I drew this at school, this is a tradition that Y/N misses in America"Esteban explains.
The paper was filled with drawings of stick figures sitting in a table. The table was filled with dishes messily drawn in a muddle of green, brown, and orange.
Mrs. Ocon looks at her son with confusion, she still didn't know what he needs help in.
"What are you trying to say Esteban?"she asked
"This 28 is the thanksgiving dinner and Y/N says that her parents will be busy. She told me its just like a normal dinner but you say thank you for everything you are grateful about"Esteban elaborates "Can we do that Maman and can we invite Y/N to join us"
"That's a wonderful gesture to do for your friend Esteban" Mrs Ocon coos.
Esteban breaks out into a grin with the agreement of his mother.
"But you will be helping me prepare the dishes okay?" Mrs. Ocon added
"Of course Maman, I'll do anything"
Esteban gives his Mother a tight hug. He was extremely grateful because he knows how much Y/N has been missing so many american things lately. He was just scared that she'll leave France and then go back to America then he will never see her again.
On the other hand, Mrs. Ocon can call it mother instincts but she called it from this moment that her son is in love with his bestfriend.
05-17-2005
Dear Diary,
I like reading a lot while my bestfriend Estie loves riding the small karts. I like going to school, Estie doesn't like that. It seems like were different with each other. I'm scared of losing my bestfriend, what should i do?
But I'll support him. I want him to be happy. Thats what bestfriends do.
-y/n
"I wanna be a race car driver"Esteban blurts out one time that they were watching those Formula 1 races on the television.
Y/N started laughing because she thought it was a joke but when she looked at him, his eyes were looking at the race cars with so much determination.
"Wait, you are serious?"
"Can't you picture me driving those cars? It's like being wind woosh" Esteban mimicked the movement of the cars.
"But its like dangerous, you could crash" Y/N argues.
They have seen some serious crashes in the times that they watched F1. Y/N couldn't forget that dogpile crash in Monaco just a few weeks ago, her heart nearly stopped when the car hits a marshal cleaning up debris.
"Then I'm going to train to be a good driver so I don't crash" Esteban confidently states.
"But what about school?"Y/N asked "You're not seriously leaving me there"
"Woah, I said I wanna be a race car driver"Esteban clarifies "I didn't say anything about leaving you. You are mon ami"
"But school Estie?"Y/N repeats
Both of them knows that Esteban never found a knack for the academics, his favorite class was physical education. As much as Y/N tries to encourage him to study, he didn't like to do that a lot. Esteban always said that the braincells of Y/N will be enough for them to share and to get through life.
"I really wanna be a race car driver"Esteban insisted.
Y/N knew Esteban very well that if he sets his mind to it then he is bound to do it. There is nothing else she can do but support it.
"Esteban Ocon, a grand prix winner" Y/N shows her encouragement "I could picture it the crowd goes roar and you step onto those podiums holding those big trophies"
Esteban grins at her enthusiasm.
"And then I could take you with me to watch them when you finish school"Esteban added "We could travel the world together when I become a driver"
"Esteban wait so if you do become a race driver then maybe I can meet Kimi"Y/N wondered.
"Wow you only want me to go to F1 for Kimi huh"
"Well its a good opportunity to meet the man, the myth, the legend"
06-16-2006
Dear Diary,
I'm just really really sad today. Estie will be moving far away from here. Maybe I only get to see him on the weekends. I'll miss my bestfriend, mon ami
-y/n
They were at the swing sets when Esteban broke the news that he was accepted to compete for karting competitions. Y/N was immediately ecstatic to hear this but there was a frown gracing Esteban's face.
"You just told me that you are gonna compete for go karting but why do you look so sad" Y/N inquires "Isn't this like the first step in being an F1 driver?"
It is but Esteban hadn't predicted how costly this whole thing will be and how sacrifices have to be made in order to reach his dreams.
"We have to leave the house"Esteban breaks the news.
"Leave?"Y/N was confused "I mean don't you really have to leave the house to go to the go karting place..but you'll come back right?"
He shakes his head and Y/N could feel the reason for the sad looks on his face. Her heart feels like cracking especially when Esteban starts to speak again.
"They sold the house to get me a kart" Esteban's voice was filled with so much sadness "They knew it was my dream and the whole family sees a lot of potential that I can do it. I just feel terrible that they have to make sacrifices to make my dreams come true"
They were merely ten years old but it was a lot of burden to carry and to understand. Y/N is at loss for words but she just grabbed Esteban's hands.
"Then you have to give your all and be the best race driver ever okay?"Y/N reminded him
Esteban looked at Y/N and there were stray tears leaving her eyes but she has a brave face on and an encouraging smile. He was lucky to have a family that believes in him and he was even more luckier because he gets to have another supporter in the form of his bestfriend.
"You make a lot of money so you can buy your home again and you can treat your parents out"Y/N says "You have to do well okay, we all believe in you Estie"
And its these words that kept repeating on Esteban's mind whenever he is on track.
11-23-2012
Dear Diary,
It's my birthday today. Did you believe that Estie waited till it turned midnight here in France just to call me. My bestfriend be setting up the standards for everyone. I got a cake in the morning from my classmates and then we went to have dinner. Sixteen, im getting old now.
-y/n
Esteban and Y/N had a tradition since they were kids that they will wait for each other's birthday because they wanted to be the first person to greet each other.
The minute that the clock strikes 12, Y/N's phone starts vibrating. She had a grin on her face upon seeing the name on the caller ID.
"Well hello there Mr. Lightning McQueen"Y/N greeted.
"Happiest birthday to my sweetest mon ami"Esteban cheered on the other line "You know that I wish you all the best things in life and all of happiness that life has to offer"
"I'm surprised you had time to call, don't you have to wake up early later for your race?" Y/N questioned.
It was true, they don't get to talk as much whenever Esteban was in a competition season. Y/N doesn't mind it that much because Esteban will message whenever he can.
"I wouldn't miss my favorite person's day" Esteban answers.
His remarks made Y/N blush. It was a good thing that this is just a phone call conversation or she had some explaining to do.
"That makes me miss you way way more Estie"Y/N sighs "I hope I can see you again"
"Is that your birthday wish?" Esteban jokes
"My birthday wish is an F1 seat for you" Y/N declares.
"Hey, stop wishing about me. It's your day wish for YOUR day" Esteban argues.
"Then I wish for my bestfriend to get an F1 seat so I can meet Kimi"Y/N rephrases.
They spent a good time talking to each other. Y/N updates Esteban about those girls in her class that she wants to be friends with and how difficult physics assignments are. Esteban mentions about the trainings and the different race drivers that he met on track.
Esteban knows that he might probably regret staying up late but everything always seems worth it when it comes to Y/N.
"Well its really nice catching up to you but school starts at 7 tomorrow"Y/N yawns a bit "You must be pretty tired as well with all the training"
"Don't you worry about me here, I'm doing okay"
"You are the best Estie" Y/N said "Goodnight estie, love you"
Love. That's the word that Esteban has been pondering about a lot lately. It was that stage of life that people are getting girlfriends and boyfriends because they love that person. The only person that Esteban thinks he can love and be in a relationship with is Y/N.
First he thought, maybe its because Y/N's a close friends. Many people get the lines blurred between friendship and relationship. However, Esteban is beginning to realize that he likes Y/N more than a friend.
But, Esteban was scared of scaring her off or losing her so he settles with this.
"Good night Y/N, love you more"
01-01-2017
Dear Diary,
So Esteban and I went to our first party because Esteban finally had a permanent team for the upcoming 2017 season. We had a few drinks to celebrate and I met a boy. His name is Vincent. I think we hit it off pretty well.
-y/n
Esteban has this all night planned with him announcing that he is getting a permanent seat in Formula 1 to inviting her to the races to confessing his feelings and then hopefully get a New Year Eve's kiss.
However, here he is in the bathroom chickening out with his plans.
"C'mon Esteban, you can do this" he preps himself.
In his mind, he had everything written and prepared. He will start talking about the childhood how he was so glad to meet her and to her being the number 1 fan since day 1. Then he will move to his realizations and such when he was moving up to F1.
"Just say what you feel and be true. It's gonna work out"Esteban tells his reflection to the mirror.
With one spray of water to the face, Esteban exits the bathroom to find Y/N in the sea of crowd.
He searches for her and he was glad to see that she was still at the same place where he left her. However, his face scrunches up because there was another guy around her.
"Estieee!"Y/N calls out "I want you to meet Vincent, he is my new friend"
Esteban eyes the man because he didn't even look at him. Vincent's eyes were only looking at Y/N's and Esteban could feel his heart drop. He knows that look all too well because that is how he looks at her.
There goes his chance.
12-25-2017
Dear Diary,
This is my first christmas with Vincent as my boyfriend. Were still getting used with the presents thing and I think I overwhelmed him a bit. But I think that its going well, Mom loves Vincent. Dad and Esteban doesn't seem to think that Vincent is good for me.
-y/n
"Okay, time to open christmas presents!" Y/N excitedly announce.
Everyone gathers at the Christmas tree. It was a yearly tradition in the household that after lunch they go one-by-one in opening the gifts. Y/N always loved presents so she would always go first.
"Merry Christmas darling"Vincent says as he gives his present.
Esteban manages to keep his expression straight but he would have gagged if he could. He was filled with so much jealousy that he could have been in that position right now if he didn't chicken out.
Also, there was something so irritating and wrong about Vincent. He just don't have any proof about it. Mr. Y/L/N has a similar theory which he discussed with Esteban when they were in the garage earlier.
Y/N opens the box and she saw a gold chain with the letter V. It was a very beautiful necklace and it seems expensive as well. She musters up a smile as she thanks her boyfriend.
"This is beautiful Vincent" Y/N admires as she takes it off the box.
"I know."Vincent agrees "When I saw it in the store, I immediately thought of you"
The thoughts were sweet but Esteban couldn't help himself.
"Mate"Esteban calls "Y/N doesn't wear gold"
It was the truth that Y/N never wore any gold jewelry but since it was a gift, she was putting on a smile. Esteban knows that Y/N is just being appreciative to be respectful. Frankly, he was a bit pissed off that Vincent didn't even pay attention to that simple details of Y/N.
"Oh, I didn't know that"Vincent sheepishly grins "I didn't notice that, maybe I should take it b-"
"No, no. I'll wear it, its the thought that counts"Y/N settles.
"Next year, I'll get you a better gift" Vincent assures.
Mr. Y/L/N and Esteban could only share an eye roll, they really hope that they don't get to see Vincent next year around.
06-26-2018
Dear Diary,
Today is emotionally draining and I find it hard to sleep with a lots of thoughts in my head. It feels really different to see Estie in an F1 car. I simply can't believe it that he went to watching race cars to driving one. It sucks about whats about to happen but I am so proud of my bestfriend, mon ami Estie. I will always be proud of him no matter what.
-y/n
One of the worst things that could probably happen is to not finish a race but the feeling intensifies when it happened on your home race. Esteban wanted to kick himself for his misfortune. He didn't even get a lap in when Gasly collided him thus ending their races.
"Stupid" Esteban repeats the video all over again.
The door gently opens and Esteban would have shouted to leave him alone but Y/N peeked out of the door. It was like instant moment of peace for Esteban then its back to feeling like a failure because he suddenly remembered that everyone he loves have watched him DNF live.
"Estie, they told me you were here"Y/N greeted "You wanna talk?"
"I rather not" Esteban quickly answered.
"Hey, its just one bad weekend Estie"Y/N sits next to him.
"This is that one weekend that should have been a good weekend. Everyone is watching me and I didn't even start a lap before getting fucked"
The crack in Esteban's voice signifies that it was extremely heartbreaking for him to have this performance for his home race. Y/N could only tap his shoulder for comfort.
"Estie, you will have a lot of weekends ahead of you and you still have a lot more weekends that we will be watching. Don't be too hard on yourself" Y/N comforts "You can bounce back like you always do"
"You believe in me way too much"
"You already came a long way Estie. From sitting and watching them race every Sunday to actually driving a car. You should be proud of yourself" Y/N reminds.
There was something else painful in Esteban's heart. The recent issues regarding the team doesn't guarantee him for a seat in the coming year. It was another reason why he felt so down with what happened.
"Would you still be proud of me even if I don't have an F1 seat?" Esteban asked.
"What? What happened Estie?" Y/N was shocked.
"I might not have a team to drive for next year. I don't know if anyone is going to pick me with my DNFs and everything, I'm not a good candidate"
Esteban sheds the tears he has been trying to hide. He knew that this was a safe place to talk to Y/N. Everything just felt so heavy.
"Oh my god Estie, I'm sorry"Y/N consoles her bestfriend.
The two bestfriend knew how much this Formula 1 seat meant. It was a lot of struggles and sacrifice to reach this moment. One moment they were just kids going on karting season and now Esteban was getting his F1 seat. Now its being taken away, its like waking up from a good dream.
Y/N brushes away her tears and started to pace as if devising a plan.
"Don't you dare think that just because you are not getting a team next year is that you are a bad driver. You are a great driver okay,remember that." Y/N encourages "Take the year off. Improve your skills, get better then make a comeback"
If Y/N believes that he can make a comeback then Esteban believes that as well.
02-03-2019
Dear Diary,
I had a fight with Vincent. He told me that I am spending too much time with Esteban. He wanted me to stay away from Estie like who is he to tell me what to do.
I told him to be more patient with Estie because he really needs support right now. I hate how stupid and irrational Vincent is.
-y/n
Esteban was just picking up one of his cousin at the club when he saw a familiar figure at the alley. He just wanted to say hi to Vincent but when he noticed that he was holding hands with a girl, who is definitely not Y/N, Esteban started to follow.
He watched as how Vincent pulled the girl into a kiss and all Esteban could see was red.
"OHMYGOD, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?"The girl shouts.
Esteban lands a solid punch. He doesn't care if Vincent is drunk or whatever but he should never cheat especially on a woman as amazing as Y/N.
"I tried to give you a chance, you fucking ruined it"Esteban lands another punch at Vincent.
"What the fuck man, get off!"Vincent screams.
The fact that Esteban was willing to let go and watch Y/N be happy with Vincent. He was willing to do that because Vincent makes Y/N happy but seeing this. Its not gonna happen anymore.
Two bouncers of the club broke them off. The girl immediately tended to the beaten up Vincent, Esteban dust himself off as he sets out a threat.
"You better come clean and tell her the truth or else I fucking will" Esteban warns.
"FUCK YOU MAN" Vincent shouts back "I know you like her! I know you are just waiting for an opportunity to ruin us"
"I'm not the one who ruined the fucking relationship Vincent, it was you who fucking cheated on Y/N"
Esteban was seething as he returned to the car. His mind thumbs to call Y/N but he knows that it will break Y/N's heart terribly if he tells her the truth.
09-28-2019
Dear Diary,
I hate this feeling of being ina fight with Esteban. He said some things that aren't true and I said some things that must have hurt him a lot. I don't think we will be okay any time soon. I just wish I could have turned back time to talk about the whole thing more carefully.
-y/n
There are not many things that Esteban and Y/N disagrees with each other. It was quite rare to see them fight each other because they fit perfectly just like that. Usually, their fights are just simple misunderstandings and harmless that they will make up in a day or so.
This time its different.
Everything started when Y/N explained that she'll be moving to Vincent's apartment, something that triggered Esteban greatly. It was apparent that Y/N had no idea of what happened at the club so Esteban told the whole truth.
Y/N is in complete denial and called Esteban a liar. So here they are with their raised tones.
"If you are my fucking friend then you would have told me the minute you saw it" Y/N explained "Why didn't you fucking call"
"I was protecting you. I know it would hurt you to know the truth and I told Vincent that he has to be the one to come clean" Esteban fights back.
"Protecting me with a grand lie?"
"I thought you don't fucking believe me that Vincent is cheating" Esteban frustrated with the argument.
"I don't know who to fucking believe because you would have told me right away if its real" Y/N cried.
The emotions were all too high, they were a ticking time bomb ready to explode. Esteban could not hide the disappointment in his face that Y/N didn't believe him.
"You don't trust me" Esteban realized.
"No Esteban, its not like-"
"Then what is it like?" Esteban asked "It seems as if you totally forgot that it was me who you could always trust no matter what. You forgot that I was your bestfriend since the beginning that was always there."
Y/N didn't want to get all the blame so she strikes back again even though tears were threatening to fall.
"You know its very fucking ironic that you say that" Y/N's words were like bullets "You didn't fucking trust me to believe you either that's why you didn't call"
Esteban was speechless and then he shakes his head.
"Where are you going?"Y/N chases after.
"I'm going home, away from you"
"Fine. Don't fucking come back" Y/N slams the door.
There were a lot of things said and done. They both don't know how they regretted everything.
03-29-2020
Dear Diary,
This whole lockdown is a little bit fucked. I was cleaning up some files in my computer and I saw a photo of me and Estie. I wonder if he is still mad at me and I wonder how he is doing with lockdowns. I wanted to reach out to him but I can't help but think back how much I must have hurt him before.
Vincent is a bit stressed with the whole lockdown situation. He gets frustrated easily especially with the new work set-up. I'm sure he will get better at handling his emotions, I just have to understand this for the moment.
-y/n
Esteban was scrolling through his instagram feed. He had nothing much to do since the lockdown kept everyone inside their homes. There was this feeling of uncertainty when can they race again but Esteban could only hope that they can race again even by May or June.
His hands stopped when he saw the newest instagram post of Y/N. It was a photo of her cooking a dish and the next set of photos showcases more of her lockdown diaries.
There was a bitter smile gracing on Esteban's face when he saw the photo of Vincent. It seems as if Vincent hasn't told the truth yet or maybe he lied to Y/N that's why they are still together. Esteban feels like he could punch the guy if he ever sees him again.
Not a day goes by that he regrets that fight he had with Y/N. It was just utterly pointless that it happened and he misses her. He hopes that she is okay and maybe after this whole lockdown is over then he'll go and find her again.
With heavy sighs, he scrolls past the post without liking it.
08-01-2021
Dear Diary,
Esteban is a grand prix winner. I'm really so proud of him, I shed some tears when he reach the final lap. I don't know if its the emotions or the adrenaline but I also messaged him and I was surprised that he answered. It seems like this is a start of a good thing.
-y/n
There were no words to describe how amazing the feeling was to be on top of the podium. Esteban could only imagine that feeling before but now he is living it. Everything felt like a wild dream because when he started the race he didn't even know that he will end up being a race winner after.
Collapsing to his bed, he finally opens his phone and it was immediately buzzing with so many messages. There was one message conversation that catches his attention
Y/N: Hi Esteban! I hope this is still your number. I watched the race today and I'm really so proud of you. I want to waive a white flag because this is everything that you have dreamed of all these years. There are no words to describe how proud I am of you. You have come a long way from that kid by the swing set. You will always have my support (even if we have a cold war). Y/N: I'm also sorry. I said some things that was really not good for me to say. I'm sorry I'm doing this over a text and I'm sorry that it took me this long. Y/N: I hope you are okay. You better drink up some champagne, you deserve it Grand Prix Winner.
There was this warmth that seems to envelope him as he reads the messages. It feels nice to know that she stills supports him even though they are not talking.
Esteban catches himself smiling through his phone screen confirming that his feelings for her still exist.
"Oh fuck it, this feeling never goes away doesn't it"
01-02-2022
Dear Diary,
Vincent proposed to me today in front of a crowd today. Mentally I wanted to say no because I don't think that I am ready for it or maybe its just the fact that I'm not sure that Vincent is ready for it. I just said yes because there was a large group of people. I felt like I was put on the spot and I didn't like it.
Maybe, its just the nerves.
-y/n
Mrs. Ocon had been keeping tabs with Mrs. Y/L/N even when the two had stopped talking to each other. They often update with each others lives when they get their nails done. Today, Mrs. Ocon couldn't believe the news shared to her so she hurried downstairs to find Esteban.
"Is it true Esteban?" Mrs. Ocon asked
"What's true maman?"
Esteban has just finished doing simulations so he have not been with his phone for quite some time. His mother immediately shoved her phone to his hand. Esteban squints as she watched the video of someone getting proposed at the Eiffel Tower.
"Maman, I'm not getting married anytime soon"Esteban jokes.
He has been pestered multiple times about getting married or getting a girlfriend but Esteban didn't want any of those. Nothing could compare to Y/N so he would rather not date anyone else.
"Just look more closely"Mrs Ocon insisted.
Scrunching up his nose, Esteban finally noticed the familiar faces of the couple. And it feels like a deja vu from his experience so many years ago when he almost confessed for New Years Eve.
Only this time, the pain has been magnified.
"That's good for Y/N, I'm.."Esteban holds his breath "happy for her"
"Honey...It's okay to not feel happy.."
Mrs Ocon has been one of the witness of everything and she knows how much her son loves Y/N. She extended a hug and soon the tall French man just let all his tears fall.
01-09-2023
Dear Diary,
I called it off, Vincent cheated on me and there was another girl on the side. He got her pregnant. I felt so stupid because I have been ignoring so many red flags all these years, I should have known better. I don't know what to fucking do, I hate him so much.
"What the fuck is wrong with me"
Y/N was a mess and anyone else who have been confronted with the reality that they have been in a fucked up relationship for so long will be a complete mess.
"There is nothing wrong with you Y/N" Esteban repeated "It was not your fault that he cheated"
"I was so stupid Estie, I wasted so many years for him"
This has been an ongoing process for a while now. Its been a good two weeks since they broke up but Y/N was still stuck in a period of asking questions and crying.
"I want my fucking life back and I can't get it back"Y/N laments.
Esteban doesn't know what he could do to help but he just became the shoulder that she can lean on. It was a good thing that there weren't much to do yet, he can still be with Y/N for a while.
"You know on the brighter side of life, you are still lucky that you didn't marry him" Esteban suggested "Like imagine all the divorce and process you have to go through if you did marry him"
"I might have ugly children if I married Vincent" Y/N scoffs.
"He is not your problem anymore Y/N, just ignore him"Esteban encourages.
Y/N lets out a frustrated cry as she messes up her hair again.
"I can't just fucking ignore him. He have been with me for a good period of my life and people just expect me to move on and go on with my life. I lost so many things about myself that I don't even trust myself after him"
Tears started falling from her eyes. She wipes them up as Esteban guided her to a chair.
"I'm sorry Y/N, here lets take a seat and I'll get you water" Esteban said before leaving to go to the kitchen.
There was something so nice to have Esteban around. Even if she shouts or screams like that, Esteban is still patient and kind with her. He was not rushing her to move past what she feels, he allows her to speak.
"You know, I can survive on my own" Y/N mutters.
"I know"Esteban agrees as he handed her the water "But I wanted to be here for you. You have always been there for me when I'm at my lowest of lows, I wanna be there for you now"
It was rare to see Y/N's smiles nowadays but with Esteban saying stuffs like that, she can't help but smile. She was very grateful to have Esteban around. She didn't know how she could survive without Esteban's help.
"Thanks estie
02-18-2023
Dear Diary,
Is it too soon to open up my heart again? I really want to try but I am scared. Maybe this is what happens when you've been in a shitty relationship for so long.
I also know that I dont wanna mess up things. If I do mess up things, I'm not going to just miss someone but I'll miss that boy I met at the swingset.
Maybe this year can do me good.
-y/n
"Esteban for a driver, you are pretty slow driving normal cars"Y/N teased.
"I have to be careful, accidents always happen and I don't wanna injure you before a flight" Esteban argues.
Esteban unloads all their bags. The two of them are going abroad however they are going to different countries. Y/N is going back to her old American home and she might be there for a while. On the other hand, Esteban is going to Bahrain for the pre-testing.
"You sure you have everything?" Esteban asked "Passports? Tickets? chargers?"
"Hey Mr. I forgot my passport, dont lecture me about forgetting things"Y/N smirked.
"Just double check and don't be like me then"
For onlookers they look like a couple about to travel together. How Esteban wishes that was the case but they are just a couple of bestfriends.
"Gonna miss you mon ami"Y/N hugs Esteban "I think I see my gate over there, call me okay"
"Of course I will"Esteban assures.
Y/N was already walking a decent few meters away when Esteban started to debate if he should tell her now. It seems spontaneous but this is a now or never situation.
"Wait up Y/N!"
"Did you forget something?"she teased
She turned her head and found Esteban catching up to her. There were beads of sweat on his forehead and Y/N could tell that Esteban was a bit nervous about something.
"Actually there is something I wanna tell you" Esteban starts.
"Oh what about it?"
She tilts her head in curiosity as Esteban takes in a large deep breath.
"I never forgot my passport. I was just using it as an excuse so I can spend more time with you. I didn't wanna go away from you because I miss you and I love you"Esteban declares.
"Aww Estie, you know I love you too-"
"No, Y/N its not that kind of love"Esteban clarifies "I love you as in I love you in a non-platonic way. I love you in a way that I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I love you in a way that I'll do everything so that I'm always coming home to you"
There was silence between the two of them. Esteban was looking for any signs of disgust or rejection in Y/N's eyes but so far those emotions doesn't seem to appear. He feels brave enough to continue further.
"Look, I'm not asking you to be my girlfriend. I know you need time to heal from whatever happened to you. I won't rush you. I have waited since were little kids, this is nothing compared to that. Allow yourself to heal and be yourself. Explore the world. Then if you want me, I'm just here waiting for you"
Esteban's word was filled with so much love and adoration. It was the respect that Y/N needed for having suffer a bad relationship. How could she be so blind not to see what's in front of her all along.
Y/N leans to hug him.
"I won't answer this for now, wait for me to be healed okay?"she whispers.
"Of course Y/N, always waiting for you."
05-01-2024
Dear Diary,
Almost a year and so since my last entry.
I have visited a lot of places to find myself and to heal myself. It was a beautiful journey going to foreign places and trying new things. Actually gave me a new perspective in life that makes me confidently say that I am healed. Some things take a lot of time before we tend to appreciate it.
I have someone waiting for me for almost 22 years already. I'm finally going home to him.
-y/n
48 notes · View notes
saturnville · 6 hours
Note
Voting for more hamilton content!!!
wash day, l. hamilton
pairing: he (lewis hamilton) x she (black fem reader) content: non-physical intimacy is just as important as physical intimacy. warnings: none. an: the girlies want lh content, so here we are! likes are cool, but we love reblogs and comments! let me know what you think <3
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The soft pallets of her fingertips danced along his scalp. Her manicured nails brushed the sides of his temples, swiping away any beads of stress and insecurity that might have lingered longer than needed. Her gentle actions pulled a moan from his throat. She smiled softly.
A soft hum from the fan in the bathroom was the only sound that could be heard. That and the sloshing of the water in the tub when they moved ever so slightly. 
She combed through the beautiful coils upon his head with her fingers carefully. With ease, the knots and tangles broke away. Strands of his hair fell upon her wrist as she raked through his locks. 
Wash day was her favorite as much as it was his. It was a time for intimacy between them that did not require any sexual activity. Non-sexual intimacy was important. She stood by the sentiment and was willing to die on the hill most desired to climb upward in competition. There were important things, she noted, that deserved cultivation and just as much attention as learning her partner’s body. If she was honest, she felt closer to him in moments like these compared to when his body was pressed against hers.
She easily remembered the first time she participated in wash day with him. She came over one Sunday afternoon and found him in the bathroom scrubbing away at his scalp with his shirt drenched in water. She vividly remembered giggling at his state and offering to lend a hand, which he desperately needed. Sure, some people did his hair for him, but he figured he’d try it out himself. He did learn, however, he enjoyed it when she did it. There was something about being trapped between her legs as she wrapped his ringlets around her fingers, that he couldn’t get enough of.
“My hands are starting to prune,” she admitted as she dropped her hands into the water. She swished her hands to remove the remnants of deep conditioner trapped between her fingers. “You let this sit for a few minutes. I’m gonna rinse off in the other shower.”
She pressed her hands against the floor of the tub to push her body up, but his hands against her thighs halted her movements. “Mhm, stay.” His fingers danced along her calves. 
“By the time you get out, I’ll be waiting for you. I don’t want to shrivel up,” she replied, tapping his shoulder. With a dissatisfied groan, he released her body from the trap he had her in. She pecked his neck as she stood to her feet. 
His eyes were on her as she walked towards the rack that held her black towel. His eyes followed the droplets of water that slivered down her chest, to her hips, and down her brown legs. His tongue grazed over his lip. She sent him a wink before exiting the bathroom and starting towards the other one. 
He joined her hardly ten minutes later. She jumped when she felt his hands on her hips. She turned in his arms, gently shoving his shoulder as a repercussion for scaring her. The playful scowl on her lips did nothing but only egg on his desire for her. 
“Sorry, baby,” he mumbled, drawing her wet body close to his. She hummed in response, allowing her lips to brush against his. Her teeth gently nipped along his bottom lip before capturing his mouth completely in a steam-filled kiss. She swallowed his quiet noises and broke away before his wandering hands spurred her on. 
The warm water beating against them only intensified the heat burning between them. By the time the fire was extinguished, the water was as cold as a winter day, probing them to exit the shower.
“You don’t make yourself discreet at all,” she said while looking over her shoulder at her lover who smiled innocently. He was perched against the doorframe, a gray towel tied tightly around his waist. His damp hair leaked small droplets of water that slid down his bare chest. He smiled at her. 
She shook her head and continued to moisturize. She slid on a clean shirt and underwear. She sat on their shared bed and ushered for him to get dressed so she could finish his hair.
“You want two pieces left out or not?” she trailed off once he sat on the floor between her legs. Beside her was the “hair bin” filled with the creams, serums, gels, and oils they used on their thick locks. 
“No,” he replied, lifting his arms to place them on her thighs. His fingers drew imaginary doodles on her skin. Mumbling a quiet, “Okay,” she retrieved what she needed from the hair bin and began combing his hair softly.
Small conversations and little comments were made, but, a comfortable, silence dawned over them. She was focused on parting, moisturizing, and braiding his ringlets,  and he was basking in the relaxation he felt. He nodded off a few times, only to be awoken by her giggles.
“I’m almost done, baby,” she assured. She took a nice amount of oil in her palms and rubbed them together, taking the time to massage his scalp softly. She ran her hands over his hair, watching as the curls jumped under her fingertips. She wiped her glistening hands on an old towel and then patted his shoulder. 
“You’re good to go. Tie it up.” She tossed a black durag at him, which he caught with easily. 
“Thank you, baby.” He kissed her gently. She smiled and pushed the hair bin to the side, making a mental note to put it away in the morning.
Tiredly, she pushed her body up the bed and swiped her scarf from underneath her pillow. It was silk and smelled like a variety of oils. She tied the fabric around her twisted hair and laid against the pillow. Just moments later he climbed in bed next to her. He was quick to engulf her in his arms and press a gentle kiss against her forehead.
“You know I love you right?”
“Mhm,” she hummed. “I love you too. That’s the only reason I’ll spend four hours doing your hair every month.” 
“I’m lucky to have you,” he said in response. His words were muffled as his lips moved against her neck. She sighed softly at the feeling of the open-mouthed kisses against her neck and his hands against the flesh of her thighs. 
“I’m lucky to have you,” she replied quietly. “and also lucky that wash day is over. I’m going to bed; cuddle me.”
Lewis hummed and slid his hand beneath her shirt, palming the heavy flesh of her chest. “Yes ma’am.”
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chocokayke · 1 day
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Here's Alkaloid for my Splatoon/Enstars AU! All weapons are referring to their Splatoon 3 kits, because that's what I'm most familiar with. I wanna give a shout out to @mdkm444 for making this fanart that inspired this whole AU in the first place. : )
More info on each character below the cut.⬇️
Hiiro
I'm giving him the highest honor I could bestow on a character... My main.
I think Splatana Deco fits him, and how he sees himself at the beginning. It's a very mobile weapon and aggro with a supportive kit. He can easily strife with opponents to draw fire from his teammates, while also setting up beacons, and setting of tentamissles to displace enemies.
The idea is that he mostly sees himself as his brother's "shield" at the beginning, and I feel like having a weapon that supports and takes fire suits that role.
As he grows and gets more comfortable with his place in Alkaloid, he would pick up more aggressive weapons. I just really like the idea of him with dualies. I think he has a lot of fun zipping around with dodge rolls. : )
He runs a lot of Quick Respawn abilities.
I think his backstory would stay mostly the same, actually.
Aira
He's 100% that guy who draws hearts in the enemy base.
He strikes me as the type of person who would play weapons that are meta without fully understanding WHY they're so good.
He started out playing vanilla Splash-o-matic, but he sucks so bad at Crab Tank. Mayoi thought something more mobile would suit Aira, so he recommended Inkbrush and Carbon Roller to him.
Hiyori wears his eye makeup the same way. This is a very important piece of Aira lore.
Mayoi
Mayoi has the biggest change to his backstory out of Alkaloid. He was originally an Octarian Soldier under DJ Octavio.
He was there for the Splat1 final boss and the Calamari Inkantation. He is NOT Agent 8, to be clear. He escaped after Marina, but before Agent 8. He wasn't in the subway. (But the idea of him in the subway is very fun, and that might be something to explore in an AU of this AU.)
He's a huge Squid Sisters fan.
He first escaped to Inkopolis, but it was too overwhelming for him, and he ended up traveling a lot before settling down in ES.
He plays a lot of weapons, and at knows a lot about the weapons he doesn't play. He's extremely skilled and knowledgeable. He's a fantastic coach, and everyone wants them to coach their teams! (Help him.)
Unfortunately, he is still Mayoi and still has severe anxiety! Despite how skilled he is, he's too scared to play alone and is pretty low ranked. That's why he got his status as an "underachiever."
Generally plays a lot of long ranged weapons to stay as far away from the action as he can. Snipewriter is his main, but E-Liter deserves an honorable mention.
Any closer ranged weapons he plays are more supportive than aggressive. This bad boy can pop out so many Inkstorms and Tacticoolers.
I probably should have added Hydra Splatling to his list instead of Heavy Edit tbh? But, eh, he can play both.
I think Snipewriter fits his main really well due to the fact that it has super long range, paints well, and has a supportive kit. At the time I'm writing this, it's also the best competitive weapon in Splatoon 3.
Tatsumi
His backstory is also similar to his canon one.
His leg got damaged and wouldn't repair itself when he respawned, so he had to get it removed it let it regrow naturally. Squids can do that, don't worry about it. : )
The guy who makes sure your base is 100% inked during Turf War.
Me and my friend both agreed it is extremely funny for Tatsumi to run around with his beginner weapon going like ^_^: so that's what he mains.
Then my other friend recommended me what they call "noob trap" weapons, which is mostly short ranged shooters (Sploosh and Aerospray) so I immediately added those to the list. I feel like they suit Tatsumi, and kind of mirror how inept he is with technology in canon.
Despite that, he's actually quite skilled! He does pretty well with short ranged shooters and has fun playing with them. They're his go to choice, but he's experienced in a lot of different weapon classes.
Anyway, you know how the Sunken Scrolls in Splatoon 3 introduced Squid Jesus--
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apollogies-p · 2 days
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Prompt: Missed Target
This is beyond late, but it's my first time participating in toapril sooo 😭 (this is literally based on the first prompt, and I'm barely now doing it-)
If this seems unfinished, it's because it is!! This seems like a good place to end it for this prompt, but the next one is going to centered around another prompt!! (Also ik this is like vaguely following the prompt, but I promise the next part will be better 😭😭🙏🙏)
@toapril-official
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Every story he was told had a great hero, strong and king, yet always flawed, and it was those flaws that were their downfall. He thinks that those stories are only told to enforce fear into mortals, a clear message to never challenge a god's lest, you know the consequences.
But he wasn't a regular mortal, was he? It was evident in the way the nymphs looked him, both terrified and awed.
Besides, he wasn't stupid, hushed arguments between his father and father's sister left little to the imagination.
But then, if he wasn't a regular mortal, then what was he?
All these thoughts crammed in his mind made practicing ten times harder, not that he was any good anyways-
Nock. Draw. Loose.
The arrow was too fast for his eyes to comprehend, but he was certain he had that time. His posture was perfect, and his archers point has never been better-
Thwack!
His arrow was embedded in the boss of the target. No where near its intended target.
"Chiron-"
The frustrated scream ripped that through his throat had him sliding off his arm guard and throwing his bow across the grass.
"What's the point!?" Whipping his head towards his father, his eyes drank up the sight of his tied up gold hair and his stupidly perfect bow, all golden and shiny and just perfect.
And he hated it. He hated how perfect Apollo was, how he always managed to read Chiron like an open book.
"Oh, Chiron, everything will be okay. You just need more practice; you've only been at this for three weeks, my dear centaur."
His father was on his knees, something he always he whenever he wanted Chiron to listen. His eyes swarming with pity and Chiron hated it, he was so angry and the tears that welled up in his eyes only made him angrier.
"Don't call me that, I'm not a baby anymore."
The soft chuckle from his father partnered with the fond look in his eyes made Chiron's stomach curl, "No I suppose you're not but you are just eleven. You know, most normal eleven year old mortal boys go out and play in the sun, they don't spend hours practicing archery like you do."
"But I'm not a normal mortal boy, am I Lord Apollo!? For Hades' sake I'm not even your son!"
Chiron regretted it the moment the words left his lips but he already did it, he couldn't go back. He can't backpeddle now and he's just so angry.
But Apollo loves you, and you know it. You don't deserve the attention of an Olympian, you're a spoiled little foal that got too used to being pampered and now there's no turning back-
"Chiron?"
His father's voice pulled him out of his thoughts and he carefully opened his eyes. (When did he close them?)
Chiron couldn't stand the worried look etched on his father's face. Apollo prided himself in his youth and with his furrowed brows and the deep frown lines, he looked older than he ever let himself look.
He took a step back, then another, until his father's face was no longer close to his.
"Chiron? I'm not angry I promise you!" A soft sigh and father was no longer kneeling, "I'm sorry I never told you but, but I was scared- I was worried." Apollo's careful steps forward led to Chiron's careful steps backward and it was like they were dancing, maybe they always were, they've been dancing around this subject for a decade.
"I found you Chiron. You were just a few weeks old and I couldn't stand to leave you in the mercy of Echidna's children that lurk in the night." This, Chiron knew and father knows that so why is he repeating it?
Another sigh escaped his father, this one unsteady and tired, "You're Kronos's son, Chiron."
It felt like Lord Poseidon himself sent wave after wave to drown him. His knees buckled, but his father was there in an instant to cradle him on the grassy plain.
"I know this is hard Chiron but I promise you this has never, not ever changed the way I love you." Warm hand cupped his face and the blurry figure that was his father met his eyes. "You are my son. No one will ever change that."
Chiron wanted to believe him. He really, really did but the anger in his stomach raged on and his father's comforting words did nothing but smother them in guilt.
"No." With gentle hands, he pushed his father away, but the god wouldn't budge. "No!" Using his front legs, he kicked at Apollo's chest (ignoring the pained wheeze that came from his father), and with (much) effort, he brought himself to his feet.
"No! You lied to me. You were," Chiron licked his lips, the realization left his mouth dry. "You were scared of me! Did you just, did you just assume that I'd hurt you or Lady Artemis or- or Lady Persephone?! Just because of who my father is?!" Hot tears ran down his face, and he couldn't be bothered to wipe them. His pain brought Apollo pain, and that's all Chiron wanted.
"I hate you! I hate you! IhateyouIhateyouIhateyou-" choking in own tears and mucus, he turned around and ran. He ran straight into the dense forests surrounding their little clearing.
"Chiron! Chiron!" His father's voice was nothing but a whisper now.
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firexima · 1 day
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YOUR ART IS INCREDIBLE DO YOU HAVE ANY TIPS /nf
Thanks so much!! I’m so grateful to hear you like my work :)
And boy oh boy I could go oooon and on and on about tips, like genuinely pages upon pages or talking hours upon hours but I’ll share a few things!
1: Put your drawing in black and white to check the values
TLDR: It helps check that your drawings are clear and helps figure out what needs to be brighter/darker.
-> First if all, I want to explain what value is. Value is how bright or dark a color is. Every color has value even when fully saturated and those values change depending on the color. Red for example is naturally darker in value than yellow but naturally brighter in value than blue. You want to be aware and therefore deliberate with how you use value in your art.
Push your darks and push your lights— unless there’s a deliberate reason as to why you don’t want to, you want a fairly large range in values: that means that if you were to put your drawing in black and white only, you would be able to see a large range of greys going from very dark to very bright, black to mid/light grey, mid/dark grey to white depending on the mood of your drawing.
This helps to give your art more depth and volume and generally helps to read better and is nice to look at. When you’re creating art it can be difficult to keep track of everything, so by putting your art in black and white you are only focusing on value and it helps you see what’s getting lost and what you can push and pull more to make brighter or darker.
You can do this by either taking a picture of your drawing and editing it in your camera roll to remove the saturation or set it in one of the black and white filters or if you’re working digitally you can create a new layer above all the ones you already have, fill it with black/white/grey and set the layer to “color”. With your layer, you can turn it on and off whenever you want
2: Do multiple small thumbnails!
TLDR: It helps pushing yourself to brainstorm other options and it helps finding out if your composition works before you spend time on it.
-> Obviously not a complete necessity whatsoever and I don’t even do this with all my drawings especially if they’re just to have fun and de-stress but if you have an idea for a drawing and you really want it to get to its full potential, sitting down and forcing yourself to do more than one sketch can be really great! It doesn’t have to be good at all, just enough for you to know what it is supposed to be.
Often when I come up with an idea I’m excited about I already have a vision for how I want to do it but making myself brainstorm other ways I could draw the same idea and forcing myself to make them noticeably different has helped me come up with some of my proudest works! You are deliberately considering all options for how you can execute the same thing and realizing ways you could do it that you hadn’t initially thought of. In my experience by doing this I realize that the first idea I thought of isn’t always the best possible one or I merge it with another one and therefore end up making it better. (This can also be applied to other creative processes)
Another good thing about it though, is it helps focus on just the composition. Again, there’s a lot of things that go into making an art piece so isolating just the composition helps you figure out a plan and checking to see that it looks good before you spend hours and hours on it. It’s as if you were to build a house and spend days of work and loads of money on making it beautiful but it isn’t structurally sound and falls apart. You don’t want to spend so much of your time on all the details only to realize it just doesn’t feel right all because the composition itself is off.
3: Remember to have fun and don’t be discouraged!
-> I know it’s something nearly everyone says and at first I kind of always ignored it because it felt like it was something people just added to be nice but it is just as important as anything else. Art takes so much time, even just doing a single piece— let alone time to keep building up your skills over time. We don’t have unlimited time, and what you choose to spend your time on matters. Honing your craft and even wanting tips to help you improve means you care. The reason why is one of the most important things of all, don’t lose sight of that. Whether it’s to have fun, to decompress, to express yourself, to depict something you care about— whatever it may be: remember that and don’t beat yourself up or stress yourself out if you aren’t where you want to be or stressing yourself out to meet certain expectations. It really does impact both your art and your learning process whether you’re having a good time or not.
A few last quick tips:
- Don’t be afraid to start over or completely redo something that isn’t working!
- When drawing from reference, trust what you see and not what you know! Drawing what your eyes are telling you is there instead of what your brain thinks should be there will usually always give you better results.
- Step back from/Zoom out of a piece regularly! It also helps to squint your eyes.
- It’s great to make a folder of pieces/artists/pictures that inspire you!
- When studying other people’s art, be aware that they can also make mistakes so that you don’t repeat those.
- You don’t have to take every tip/rule by heart, as long as you understand why they’re there, you can also deliberately choose to go against it if it enhances what you want to do with your piece. Most rules artists teach can be broken, just make sure it’s a deliberate choice to not do those things and why you’re choosing to do that instead of just not knowing about it!
Hopefully these are helpful! I have way more but this is already long enough as is. I wish you the best! <3
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leighsartworks216 · 19 hours
Text
On The Count Of Three
Harvey x FTM!Farmer
I've been thinking about this idea for days, but I've only just been able to write it sort of like how I want it. I'm not 100% happy with the ending but trying to expand it out made it worse so I chose the less worse option (in my mind). Slightly inspired by my fear of needles and my third-degree yearns of wanting Harvey to take care of me
Warnings: needles, injections, mention of fear of heights, anxiety, references to Harvey's ten heart event, slight hurt/comfort, semi-implied transphobia (not addressed)
Word Count: 1,002
Masterlist
AO3
Harvey washed his hands in the bathroom sink. He wasn’t even thinking about it, so second nature to nearly everything he did at work. Instead, he thought mostly about what he needed to grab from the medicine cabinet.
A bandaid, disinfectant, a fresh needle, and the bottle of testosterone. He repeated them in his head like a mantra as he dried his hands off and began grabbing each item in turn. With everything secured in his arms, he leaves the bathroom behind and heads into the bedroom. 
The farmer fidgeted anxiously as they sat on the edge of the bed, watching him intensely as he set everything aside and ripped open the disinfecting wipe.
Harvey couldn’t help but feel honored to be trusted with this. Yes, he was a doctor, but it was nearly a year after their arrival in Pelican Town that they told him about their plans for medically transitioning. They’d admitted to him later that they were afraid of the people in this small town rejecting them or worse. They were so alone in Zuzu City for so long, they’d hate to feel that way again here.
This had become a sort of ritual after that. When the prescription first came in, they’d held it in their hands, staring down at it as they sat on the exam table, like it was an alien baby they were holding. He asked if they needed help the first time, to know what to do. But it quickly became abundantly clear when he tried handing the prepped needle off to them that they couldn’t do it on their own.
As he knelt down on the rug by the bed, he looked up at them. They were looking away now, staring hard at the wall. Their hands shook in their lap, fingers tapping uneven patterns against their thighs. The cold shock of the disinfectant startled them, but they just closed their eyes and tapped another rapid pattern against their skin. He set the used wipe aside and removed the guard off the needle, drawing the proper amount of the hormone into the reservoir before setting the bottle aside.
Each sound made them more visibly anxious. He could hear them swallow thickly, hear the slight tremor in their breaths. If he was any closer, he’d hear the rapid beating of their heart against their ribcage.
He took one of their hands in his, and kissed the slightly sweaty palm with deep fondness. He thought this was one of the bravest things he’d ever seen them do. Nevermind going down into the mines, every single week they faced their fear, trusting in him to get them through it. And every single week, he did, and every week after they were ready to close their eyes, grit their teeth, and get through it again.
“It’s alright, dear, I’ve got you. Take some deep breaths now, alright?”
The first inhale was shaky. The exhale was squeezed out like somebody trying to get air out of a bag before they closed it. He waited patiently as they repeated the doctor’s orders a few more times, each subsequent one becoming smoother and easier. He hummed his approval, encouraging them to keep going.
He kissed their palm again reassuringly before setting their hand aside with a comforting squeeze. When he let go, their next exhale was choppy and nervous. There was nothing for it; the sooner he got this over with, the sooner they’d actually be able to calm down.
“Okay, ready?”
They nodded, eyes shut impossibly tight as they prepared for the sting.
“On the count of three. One… two… three.”
He slid the needle into the appropriate depth, drew some blood into the needle, and pressed down on the plunger to inject the dose. Their hands clenched into tight fists, clutching at nothing or the blanket underneath them. They remained that way for a moment after he removed the needle and clicked the guard back in place and set it safely aside. He peeled open the bandaid, removed the two pieces protecting the sticky parts, and expertly planted it over the injection site.
“All done! How are you feeling?” He took both their hands in his, rubbing his thumbs over their knuckles to smooth out their fists. They sighed deeply as they finally opened their eyes to look down at him, blinking spots from their vision.
“Exhausted,” they admitted. Harvey was no stranger to how much energy being scared ripped out of a person. He kissed the inside of their wrist. “Thank you for helping me with this. I know it’s kind of stupid.”
He squeezed their hands. “Hey, it’s not stupid. I think being scared of needles is a very justified fear.”
They huffed. “I know, it’s just… We’ve been doing this every week for how long now? I shouldn’t be so scared, but even just thinking about it…” They shuddered. “Which is dumb because it just happened, and it barely hurt at all, so why am I still so freaked out by it?”
He stood up from the ground, letting their hands go to brush some hair from their face, cupping their cheek sweetly. “You remember our first date?”
A bubbly laugh erupted from them. They didn’t expect this to be brought up again after so long. “Yeah, I remember.”
He smiled. “I was terrified of going up in that hot air balloon. But I still did, because…” He chuckles bashfully. “Well, because you were so brave, I felt like I could do it anyway, if you were there. But I’m still terrified of heights!”
“So, you’d go up in another balloon if I was there?”
“In a heartbeat. I’ll always be scared, but if you’re there, I can be a little brave. Or at least try to be.”
They grinned, leaning into his hand. “I love you.”
He leaned down and pressed a soft kiss to their lips, mustache tickling their upper lip in an oh so familiar and pleasant way. “And I love you.”
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littlemarianah · 2 days
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Now after this post you have to write a smut of Peeta and Katniss fucking in nature.
in response to this post.
Alright then, we all know that everlark is wild and raw! So I'll do it.
I lay down on the sand listening to the sound of lake water in my ear. On this sunny summer afternoon, after eating all those wild fruits we found on the way here. Everything seemed perfect. I spread my body on the warm sand and relax.
I hear Peeta start to draw on the paper, those rough chalks on the smooth sheet of paper. He puts the picnic blanket on the floor and sat down next to me. He doesn't like lying in the ground with nothing in between his butt from the dirt. It's silly, I laugh.
"What is it?" he asks, looking at me with his blond eyelashes shining in the sunlight. He looks so handsome today, his forehead is sweaty from the summer heat. There's only one thing that can make this afternoon better.
"I want you to kiss me." I say.
"Okay then." Peeta puts down the sheets of paper and leans over my body, giving me a peck on the lips, still tasting like wild strawberries.
"No, Peet. Give me a real kiss." I beg. He smiles, pleased to see me beg, but I don't care. He kisses me again, with a soft mouth this time, letting me use my tongue. When his hands touch my neck and his fingers tangle in my hair I feel such a strong heat in my stomach that I lose my breath. The feeling grows and spreads throughout my body making my face burn. My hands cup his cheeks and I bring him closer, if that's even possible. I want him with everything in my body. I want to devour him. I want more.
My hands go up to his hair, the more his lips move on mine, the more I feel like it's impossible not to have him for me right now. I lift my sundress up to the middle of my stomach, Peeta glances over and looks surprised. "Oh, love." he says breathlessly. "Do you really want to do this in the sand?”
"Please, Peeta." I say sighing.
He purses his lips, taking courage and wipes his hand on his shirt for a considerable time. He touches me through the fabric of my panties. It's enough to make my eyes soften and my head fall back. His eyes shine on mine and he kisses me again. This time, fiercely. With his hands running circles over my clitoris. It's not wonderful, but it's the spark I need to go crazy. I suck his lips with mine, I let my voice come out without any shame. We are in the middle of the forest, who could hear us?
My feet sink into the sand the more my body moves in pleasure. I take my hands to the hem of Peeta's pants and try undo his belt. I'm a little too dizzy to do this alone, so he helps me. It seems to me that he is also eager to have me because it takes him a little too long to get his pants down.
"You always catch me off guard." he says. I dig my fingers into the sand as he drags my underwear out. I open my legs and he lies between them. My lips tremble in anticipation of what is to come. I can't look away from his blue eyes.
He slides inside me and he lets out a moan so deep that it makes my belly burn. His voice sounds so good in my ears. I feel the difference there is when he doesn't put his fingers in first. He opens me up and I tighten around him. It's maddening. My body is so weak, that my arms can barely wrap around his neck. My eyes close. I lose my breath, my chest starts rises and falls so fast it feels like I'm hyperventilating.
I open my eyes again, and see him looking at me, just as stun as I am. His eyes don't leave mine for a second, blue and bright, wanting me so fiercely that it sends a shiver down my spine. Peeta pushes my leg open, being able to go a little deeper. I don't want to look into his eyes anymore, my moans are louder and more acute than I would like them to be, following my trembling breath.
“Katniss... is it good like that? ." Peeta whispers, I give an angry growl at his question. As if I wasn't already acting completely crazy under him. I refuse to answer. His lips come and touch mine, they crush each other. Gasps come out of his mouth and his tongue vibrates with his moans. "Tell me if it's good." he repeats the question.
I take a deep breath and hug his neck. "Obviously it's good." I moan.
That's it, guys. I let your imagination flow now. 🫣🤧 I'm tired lol Maybe one day I'll finish it and put it on Ao3
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noneorother · 6 hours
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Hi, I’ve only read one meta by you yet, but you seem to be just the right person to ask this: did you notice how many people in the scenes outside the bookshop are wearing orange, in series 2?
Any idea what that’s all about? Is it just esthetics, an echo of the bookshop‘s columns, or does it have a filmographical significance? Everytime I watch the show there seem to be more orange clothes, once you start seeing that, it’s crazy how many there are!
Hey thanks for the ask! I mean, you have until 2026 to read more of my drivel so; pace yourself! Orange clothing is definitely an *interesting* choice for extras in film. You almost never see it in background actors clothing because... it draws the eye! The fact that they included so much orange, yellow, and loud patterning in the extras in season 2 is a real decision to throw film tradition and S1 cannon out the window.
I would like to submit my own theory that the choice was made as a deliberate nod to time travel. But first, a little background.
Compare two crowd scenes on Whickeber street from each season: It's kind of nuts that even at microscopic resolution we get such a HUGE difference.
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That's not to say orange is missing. Here are the only two extras wearing orange in S1, and they happen to be in the same scene in episode 2, when Newt and Shadwell meet for the first time, discussing occult beings "hiding in plain sight". (witches in this case)
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We also get some pretty obvious bright orange in main characters in S1: Madame Tracy and Beelzebub. We meet Tracy in orange as she immediately reveals to Newt multiple hidden identities, see her again wearing orange hair when she communes with spirits, and finally all decked out in orange when she is being possessed by an angel (a person hiding inside a person). Beelzebub wears an orange sash and medal as a high ranking Duke of Hell, so orange is maybe their house colour, or a prestigious colour for hell in general, but after season 2 we know Beelzebub doesn't always have the same face, and is hiding intentions of their own.
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Orange doesn't have much biblical significance, mostly because the colour orange was mostly seen as "fire" or "bright" coloured until way after the bible was transcribed, and orange dye wasn't really a thing in the European world until significant trade with east Asia developed. Here's the only other bright orange thing to appear all season, (in a deleted scene): Crowley hiding in plain sight, posing as a maintenance worker.
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I think we might be able to draw the conclusion from season 1 that orange is a colour associated with the "Hidden Occult/Power". Not necessarily only hell, but more as something otherworldly, that's hidden in plain sight. (Interestingly, we never ever see Anathema or Agnes Nutter in orange. So I wouldn't say it's related to witches at all.)
In season 2 however, orange is everywhere. More specifically on extras' clothing and the outside of Maggie's record shop.
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Maggie seems to be the only main character to wear bright orange herself (E2).
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But this is by far my favourite one: in the back of the crowd of demons getting a Shax pep talk in S2E5, there's a regular human extra wearing bright orange sitting amongst the army, completely unnoticed by both demons and audience, observing the plan.
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This really set off alarm bells for me, because there's a very Terry Pratchett precedent for powerful and unnoticed orange-wearing characters in the discworld series : the time monks.
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Terry's character Sweeper seen here on the original cover of Night Watch. The time monks' clothing and general philosophy is based on Thai buddhist monks, who (like in many buddhists sects) wear donated, saffron-dyed robes in orange and yellow/red to symbolize flames of purity, and to separate them from the world of gross matter, like a fallen leaf from a tree.
In the discworld novel Night Watch, the time monks are responsible for monitoring and cleaning up the timeline, pruning it like a bonzai tree. They are everywhere and yet unnoticed, inside the flow of time yet not of it. And they are the ones who guide the main character through the process of being stuck after falling back through his own timeline, into his own past.
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(Excerpt from the book where Sweeper is explaning time travel to Vimes).
Extras circling in the background are called "background actors" because they exist to not be noticed. Put in extras wearing orange/yellow and bright red, and suddenly you can track them, and notice how they are part of the crowd, but stand apart from it. You can notice when they go missing from one cut to the next, or appear to circle or jump between frames. Many extras, including the demon army watcher, also seem to be circling, and monitoring the goings-on in the world of Good Omens. Based on the meaning of orange from S1, it would seem these mere background actors are more than they appear to be. Could they even be checking up on unwarranted time distortions or timeline ruptures happening around a certain Bookshop...?
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