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couldnt-think-of-a-funny-name · 7 years

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how was your mom during IT

God okay so firstly I’d been bugging her for a literal month to go because I didn’t want to go to the theater alone and like. She was so against this lmao

“You liked the miniseries and it wasn’t even that good!!” *Me, texting my friend later* ‘She’s literally gonna hate this movie so much the cursing alone will give her a heart attack lol’

We went to the movie tavern bc birthday giftcards, and she had never been there before but was immediately Sold lol. She ordered a glass of wine but with their portions there it was really two glasses and she was loosing her mind over that and the reclining seats lmao

(I got a big margarita, mozzarella sticks and m&m’s bc this is one of my favorite works of fiction and I Was Not Fucking Playing Around)

She almost actually screamed when Georgie got his arm ripped off and I was like? What were you expecting???

“How the hell does that lady not hear him screaming” “That’s literally a plot point” “It’s a stupid one”

A half annoyed/half horrified ‘oh come on’ when the arm stretched out from the sewers and dragged Georgie in

“Is that that Strangest Thoughts boy you mentioned??? Those glasses make him look like the Nice Gremlin.”

Richie: *opens his mouth*

“Well, the Nice Gremlin would never speak like that.”

Ben immediately became her favorite, relatable

Lmao every scene where he lowkey struck out with Bev she got SO DISTRESSED halfway through the movie I had to lean over and say “Don’t worry, they impulsively run off together in like 30 years” and she was like ‘Oh thank God.”

“Who just knows where their local sewers dump out?”

Omfg Stan’s first scene with the painted lady she was like “Stop backing up!! She’s BEHIND you! Have common sense!”

The library scene she was so proud for a second bc she thought she caught an actor slipping up and looking at the balloon and I’m like “She was looking at the boy that just abruptly got up and walked passed her this isn’t cinemasins” and she was very put out by that lol

“Molly you usually talk more during movies, having trouble predicting scenes this time?” She says, smugly,

“Ben’s about to be chased by It in the form of a headless body,” I said, not taking my eyes of the screen.

Two minutes later I could feel her seething lmao

When the Bowers Gang had Ben cornered and the car drove by and the balloon rose up in the backseat we got a horrified “Uh-oh”

*Every time Richie does a Voice* “What the hell is he trying to do here?”

GOD the pharmacy scene with Bev and Mr. Keene omfg. When it started we got a quiet “ew.” When it continued we got a slightly harder “Ew.” When the lois lane/creepy smile moment happened we got a full volumed, disgusted “EW.“ I was trying so hard not to laugh omfg

“Who in their right mind starts smoking at 13!” “Mom…didn’t you literally start smoking at 13?” “Don’t talk over the movie, Molly.”

The burning bodies/bowers gang scene with Mike: “That was just unnecessary he seems like a nice boy”

Bev’s dad: “I don’t like him much at all.”

“Please tell me you never jumped off a cliff when you were a child.”

“No thirteen year old girl has any business being THAT pretty”

Oh God she was forcibly exposed to a lot of New Kids On The Block in the 80′s so she was literally dying every time there was a joke about them. Ben’s poster had us c a c k l i n g

“27 is just a weirdly specific number of years” “He’s a demonic alien eldritch horror that presents as a clown and eats people, but you’re gonna take issue with how long he hibernates?” “I don’t have to agree with everything Stephen King comes up with”

Omfg I forget when in the movie but there was some scene with all the bowers boys and my mom was like “…Why is that boy’s nose so small?” and I’m like “What??” and she goes “How does he live with that” and I’m still laughing about it

Lmao at one point she was complaining she had to go to the bathroom and I’m like?? Just go then??? And she looks at me and is like “I don’t want to miss anything!” and the sheer anger in her eyes over the fact she had to admit she was seriously enjoying the movie LMAO

So she ended up missing the entire Rock War™ and literally walked back into the theater just in time for “GO BLOW YOUR DAD, YOU MULLET WEARING ASSHOLE” her face I was dying

I tried to tell her what she missed but she could not comprehend what a rock war was omfg how many times did I have to say ‘they were throwing rocks at each other’?? Too many times.

My mom, reclined back in the chair, sipping her wine, “This is like the most relaxing movie experience I’ve ever had.”

Pictured on screen at this moment: A Child Being Murdered.

“Why did he only buy one of his friends ice cream?”

“Eileen…”

“Does the stuttering kid not realize he needs a plan before taking off to kill It?” “Have you ever met a 12 year old boy?”

asdfg I had finished my margarita by this point and she got mad at me for stealing some of her wine but I was like “We’re heading to Neibolt I NEED this” lmao

Every time there was a very small callback to things in the book, like all the turtles or Bev having the best throw or the Richie dummy in Neibolt I understandably got Very Excited about them and my mom was just like. Can you calm down nerd.

“What if Tim Curry jumped out of that coffin instead?”

“Something tells me his arm is broken”

God when Pennywise unfolded himself out of the refrigerator to freak out Eddie she went “We didn’t need to see that” lmao

“It was real enough for Georgie.” “What is taunting the kid going to accomplish?” lol

Laughed out loud when Richie called Bev ‘Molly Ringwald’ lol

Suspiciously wiped her eyes when she saw Richie was the only one to turn up to Stan’s Bar Mitzvah

ASDFGHJ WHEN EDDIE WAS PAINTING THE ‘V’ ON HIS CAST and they zoomed in on it she let out a heartbroken gasp and was like “Why…why would that girl write loser on his arm” I was dying

“They’re gazebos! They’re bullshit!” “Sweetheart no it’s placebos-” “Mom, he can’t hear you.”

When they were all going back to save Bev and Mike grabbed the gun: “Does he have to escalate like that?”

“….Their friend’s life is in danger.”

“I know but didn’t they use a slingshot in the original??? Who brings a gun to a slingshot fight!”

When Henry started getting possessed, we got a deadpan “Oh no…not a balloon.”

I fully admit to screaming slightly when It was LITERALLY EATING STANLEY’S FACE but she got so judgey @ me because of it??? lol Like mom I’m sorry you apparently have 0% maternal instincts but these kids are STRESSING ME OUT

Not to mention she screamed MOMENTS LATER at the heads floating in the sewer lmao

When Ben kissed Bev: “I’m not sure that was appropriate but awww.”

Was not a fan of Bill shooting Georgie but who was

“Please tell me you never made a blood oath when you were a child.”

She sat through this entire film without ever once absorbing any characters name??? Lmao I was trying to talk about it when it was over and I’d have to be like. “The glasses/gremlin kid. New Kids On The Block Kid. Munchausen Syndrome Mother. Literally the only girl in the movie. Jonathan Brandis played him in the 90′s one.The kid who’s arm was ripped off are you kidding me?” lmao

But overall she went home and called her usual gossips™ to complain that she had actually super enjoyed the movie.

This is literally the first time in over two decades that I’ve seen a movie with this woman and she stayed awake the entire time. That speaks volumes to me lmao

#it 2017 #Stephen king's it #asks #molly mumbles #mom pls #I'm definitely missing a few comments #but it's 5:22 am spare me #lmao

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couldnt-think-of-a-funny-name · 7 years

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- I(tm)

- AM(tm)

- S T R E S S E D (tm)

- So like first let me say: The kids were FANTASTIC. Best performances of their lives!!!!

- everything that could have possibly gone wrong went the fuck wrong

- A DISASTER

- You know in horror movies were like one person gets infected or some shit but you think everything is fine until suddenly everyone is dying? Literally.

- May I remind you that mics have been perfectly fine all week,

- Opening number, Vanessa is doing her little bit and there’s just a tiny. Glitch.

- Like her mic dropped for half a second. It was hardly noticible. Tom and I literally double checked like “you heard that right?” But it was completely fine so we were like “It’s probably nothing”

- WELL GUESS THE FUCK WHAT

- IT SPREAD LIKE A PLAGUE. IT STARTED SLOW BUT IT SOON CONSUMED THE ENTIRE CAST. THE MICS WOULD GLITCH OUT LIKE EVERY FIVE GOD DAMN SECONDS. JUST IN AND OUT AND IN AND OUT IT WAS T E R R I F Y I N G

- I’m fucking. Borderline screaming. Tom looks like he’s going to punch something and is running around checking for what the problem was. THERE WAS NO VISIBLE PROBLEM. THIS SHOULDN’T HAVE BEEN HAPPENING.

- And then it just???? Fucking stopped on it’s own???? What the FUCK. Sometime right before 96,000 it all just went back to normal holy shit

- BUT THEN THE MUSIC WAS LIKE “Is it chill if we just...stop working at random intervals? Gucci.” SO SOMETIMES WE’D HAVE FULL ORCHESTRA AND OTHER TIMES IT WOULD JUST DROP TO ONLY KEYBOARD

- AND something was up with the fucking keyboard’s speaker??? Because of course.

- Guys seriously we literally STILL DON’T KNOW what happened! At intermission Tom and I were just dying and finally he’s like “I don’t care anymore I’m just gonna see what the hell is wrong with the keyboard” and returned 3 minutes later, still no answers, and was like “You know what? ‘Blackout’ sounded fucking amazing and that’s what matters to me” like we honestly just quit oh my God

- However the kids really powered through all the issues and didn’t let it trip them up so that was good

- Meanwhile, though, the audience was FUCKING HILARIOUS I LOVED THEM

- I’m...fully convinced half this audience had never been to a musical before in their entire lives, and even if they had they had never seen or listened to In The Heights so their reactions were great.

- Lot of gasping holy shit it was so funny. “I got more hoes than a phone book in Tokyo” *GASP* “What do I do with this winning ticket?” *G A S P*

- The opening of act 2 when Benny and Nina are on the fire escape and clearly had sex the night before? G A S P

- Guys it was so funny. And they were clearly loving the music and laughing at all the jokes- every scene got deafening applause omfg

- They were all clearly very much sucked into the story so that was just so fun to see

- They tried to cornrow Benny’s hair

- That was quit half way through thank God omfg

- Also mildly off topic but when I was getting his mic on him he hadn’t done his bun yet and that boy has a fantastic head of hair holy shit

- “OH MY GOD THAT HAT CANNOT HAPPEN YOU LOOK LIKE THE PERSON FROM THE LORAX”

- There was a moment before they opened the doors and the entire theater was quiet but suddenly all (like...8 or 9) boys could be heard singing “Baby” by Justin Bieber at the top of their lungs in their dressing room. No explanation as to why

- They announced that the fall show was Pippin and Steven got a fucking baseball bat and starting balancing it on his fingers yelling “JUST IN TIME” (he had apparently ‘just discovered’ this talent on Sunday and has been talking about it like non-stop since)

- The girl playing Graffiti Pete had a bunch of school friends come to the show. They all shrieked every time she opened her mouth holy shit

- Before the show the director was giving notes and she said something like “This is right after Claudia’s death-” and half the cast was like “Tag you’re fucking spoilers” omfg

- And then when mic checks were happening Steven sang “atencion” and Tom cut him off yelling “SPOILERS, SPOILERS” instead of “good” lmao

- Okay so like...is there a little kids show character that I resemble or something????

- There were a lot of kids in the audience (probably like actor’s siblings or something) and like...during intermission an alarming amount of them were staring or waving at me with shy smiles or pointing me out to their parents who seemed to know what they were thinking and I was just like....Who do you think I am?????? Oh my God

- No one actually tried to talk to me but a few looked like they wanted to??? A few even got some of that gentle parental shove thing??? What is happening I’m so confused over this????

- Oh my God you know how in Boy Meets World, Rider Strong hated his fucking hair and as a result we were blessed with Shawn constantly aggressively raking his hair back with his hands???? There was a boy sitting directly in front of me who did that literally the entire show to the point where I was like....You need to stop I gotta see what’s happening on stage omfg

- Also lol I guess he was there for his ensemble sisters(tm) or something bc he cheered for everyone who came out for bows except he booed for one specific group of girls lol

- I was on my phone before the show and the directors husband made Tom get my attention just so he could silently give me a thumbs up before walking away so we were laughing at that

- He did give me free skittles at intermission tho which was rad (he tried to give me like the entire table for free lmao)

- The choreographer was working the spotlight (which she admitted she was confused by) and she was super tired and lowkey joked about falling asleep and falling over on the job before the show started but somewhere during act 2 I fucking saw the sliding spotlight and panicked lmao

- Her and Drew were bonding over being bad at spotlight and everyone in the back area said “you guys are better than Jimmy” in perfect unison lmao

- Usnavi was borderline sobbing by his last line in the finale omg

- We couldn’t fucking get a sound effect for the fireworks so for the final part of ‘blackout’ when you’re supposed to hear them the pianist deadass just whistled the noise omfg

- Nina and Abuela Claudia were the fan favorites, as I predicted

- Benny was a little off his game but I still support him

- Lowkey there’s a couple guys in this show who have never done any shows before and I’m not sure if he’s one of them??? He seems like he is so I think he was probably just nervous or something

- Everyone was sneezing and coughing bc why not

- Before the show the Piragua Guy was berating himself as per usual and the only cheer-me-up anyone could think to give him was “It sounds great! It’s just like, the words that you’re having trouble with!” lmao but he KILLED IT I was v proud the audience loved him

- Like 20 minutes before we let people in we had the directors daughter, in heels, on a fucking ladder painting over parts of the shop signs bc we realized that even though they had professional looking signs made they all had Philadelphia area codes on them lmao

- Oh God. So remember the not-screwed-in door I was complaining about???

- Well. They screwed it in. Backwards.

- And it makes an obnoxious noise when it opens and closes, and also doesn’t close all the way l m a o

- The programs all went missing lmao

- I found one box hidden away thank God but??? Apparently there’s supposed to be more. So we might just run out of programs during the second show

- LMAO DURING HER OPENING SPEECH THE DIRECTOR DEADASS PRONOUNCED LIN MANUEL MIRANDA’S NAME WRONG COULD YOU GET ANY MORE #ICONIC(tm)

- Tom fist pumped multiple times in pride and excitement when the show finally ended lmao

- THE GOT THE GRATE WITH ABUELA CLAUDIA’S FACE ON IT HOOKED UP (another audience gasp moment) AND HONESTLY???? I TEARED UP

- Lmao I’m pretty sure Tom was also lowkey crying at the end I didn’t say anything tho

- There’s more but it’s almost 2 in the morning lmao so anyway!!! Hopefully tomorrow runs a little more smoothly!!! And hopefully we get another great audience!! Overall it was great so I’m all pumped

#in the heights #ith vagueblogging 2k17 #musicals #theater #theater problems #molly mumbles

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