#my friend had to be in pain because she was watching me have a breakdown with nothing to offer for help

[thatfreshi]

Could I request an Astarion/GN!reader(Tav) where reader has trauma around their throat being touched and stuff but bears through the panic attacks just so Astarion can feed and Astarion only finds out after they make camp and confronts reader/Tav about their mental breakdown after a battle they had prior in the day?(reader got grabbed forcefully by the neck?) Essentially a bit of angst and comfort?

Set in act 2!!

TW - choking, panic attack, disordered eating behaviors

Recommended Song: Don't Invest In Me - Adam Melchor

Battle is horrifying, something Astarion never truly quite realized until he fell in love you with. He's talented, especially at killing people. He's never had to worry in a fight, because it was always just him. Now he has to worry about you, and it's painful, not being able to be by your side constantly, watching you in perilous situations, looking death right in the eye. When your group ran into a few violent adventurers yesterday, you weren't expecting any trouble. Suddenly, metal clashing, magic moving through the trees. Astarion moved quickly, offing one of the offenders almost immediately. When he turned to see who was next, bloodlust in his eyes, he saw you being held by the throat. You were frozen, running out of oxygen, tears welling at your eyes. He ran through the trees, running his blade through your captor's back.

"Tav? My dear, are you alright?"

You can't speak, utterly shocked. No one had ever tried to choke you in the throes of battle, and it reminded you of awful things, things that were better left unsaid. He checks you for any other wounds as you're trapped in your own mind. The fighting continues, but he doesn't care. All that matters is you, the others can handle themselves just fine. And if not, that's their loss, not his.

After thoroughly checking you over, he can't find anything else of concern. The bruising on your neck though, it's black and blue already. Racing thoughts, wondering if there's been any lasting damage. He can't decide if he should be more concerned about the fact that you're practically frozen in place or if your windpipe is destroyed.

"The fuck are you doing? We have shit to deal with!"

Karlach silences her complaints when she sees you lying on the ground. Astarion doesn't even look up at her, afraid. He's only ever truly had one thing, one thing that was his, and that's you. Everything else feels so impermanent, but you? You're constant.

"Astarion! Astarion!"

She yells out his name until he finally snaps back to look at your tiefling friend.

"Take Tav back to camp, we've got it covered."

Karlach then runs off, back to assist Wyll with a shadow-covered half-elf. You groan in pain, your neck on fire. As you start to come back to reality, you realize you're in the vampire's arms, a vampire currently moving through the dark as quickly as possible. Neither of you have lights on you, but he knows there are still torches lit at camp, he just has to get there before the shadow curse starts to take hold. You're light-headed, both from lack of oxygen and the panic attack.

"Where...?"

"Hush darling, it's alright. We're almost there, almost to camp."

Through a couple more feet of trees, the two of you make it, bathing in the warm light of the torches posted behind the brush. He takes you back to your tent, where your bedrolls lie side by side. He silently curses himself for not knowing any healing magic, promising himself he'll finally learn after this.

"Aster?"

You call out groggily.

"Yes my love, I'm right here."

Ceasing the nervous pacing, he sits by your side.

"What... what happened?"

He almost doesn't want to say, worried about how you reacted while it was happening.

"One of the shadow-cursed, they... they had you in a nasty chokehold, and I killed them."

You shift, wishing he didn't have to know about all of this.

"Sorry."

"About what darling? You've done nothing wrong."

"About not telling you- not telling you about it."

You're gasping to get your words out, your throat clearly damaged. He furrows his brow in concerned confusion.

"I- I really don't like people touching my neck, doing anything to it to be honest. Wasn't expecting one of them to grab me like that."

Coughing at the end of your sentence, you don't see Astarion's eyes travel through his thoughts, realizing what that means.

"Darling... you let me feed off of you almost every evening."

You smile a little.

"I know."

He grabs one of your hands, clasping it in both of his.

"I'll never do it again. I'm so sorry, I had no idea."

Frantic, worried he's done something irreversibly wrong.

"No, no Aster it's okay. Does it suck sometimes? Yeah, but I need you to be healthy. Besides, what's a better way to work through your trauma than exposure therapy?"

"That's not fair. I can find something else, some other way."

"And what, go back to forest animals? You know there's nothing for you out here, in the darkness."

"Then I'll simply starve! Done it before, I'll do it again."

Gods, he's stubborn. You don't blame him, he would never want to cross anyone's boundaries after his have been trampled a million times.

"My love, come here."

You reach out, beckoning to pull him down beside you.

"If I didn't want to do it, I wouldn't. You need to feed, and I can provide that. You do plenty for me, let me do this one thing for you."

"But, but you hate it."

"Yeah. Those two things can coexist, my hate for people touching my neck, and my love for you. I can put up with the anxiety if it means you're okay."

"I would be okay though."

You cup his face in your hand, making sure he's looking at you.

"I'm telling you I'm okay, and that you deserve more than rats. Okay?"

You've been around him long enough, you know his logic. If he survived for two hundred years living off of flies and rats, he certainly doesn't need blood like yours. If he had starved for an entire year, he could take a few months before getting to Baldur's Gate. Sometimes you have to remind him that survival mode isn't living, that he's allowed to have nice things. Tears fall from his eyes.

"Are you sure my sweet? Absolutely certain?"

"Of course, and if I ever needed you to stop I would tell you, promise."

You put your pinky out, and he stares at it.

"What... what are you doing? Is this you offering me to feed off a singular finger? Because if so, that's uh-"

"No, gods! It's a pinky promise."

"A... a what?"

You start laughing, so hard that you start coughing again, tears falling down your face.

"You've never heard of a pinky promise?"

It pulls at your heart a little, realizing he probably never had anyone teach him.

"I guess I haven't."

You put your pinky out, and he does the same, and then you hook yours, interlacing the small finger with his.

"There, I pinky promise that I'll tell you if you need to stop feeding on me."

As you pull your hand away, he looks confused.

"And that's what, some non-verbal contract?"

"I guess so Mr. Magistrate."

You start laughing again.

"Okay, you have thoroughly scared me, and made me cry, and teased me, in one night! I'm not sure how much more I can take."

There's a hint of humor in his tone. Honestly, he also thinks it's ridiculous that he was a magistrate, considering he was terrible at it, at least from the small things he remembers.

"Well, it's over now. I'm okay, and we're safe."

He narrows his eyes.

"I'm still going to have Shadowheart look over you when the rest return."

"Well, that's your fault for not learning healing magic."

"Okay, you don't know any magic, so I don't want to hear it!"

The two of you stay up for hours, laughing at stupid jokes, hysterical from the tragedy that evening. Sometimes after something horrible, you just need a good laugh, especially with your easily provoked lover.

#astarion #baldur's gate 3 #baldurs gate astarion #astarion x reader #astarion x tav #fluff #comfort #angst

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

WIBTA if I told my sister I think she should put down her dog?

(cw: animal death, animal erection mention (I shit you not), suicide mention)

So, I (21nb) have a sister (Amelia, 23f). She’s been living with a friend for the past two years, but she still stops by the house every now and then. Most of the time, it’s just to drop off her dog (Max, toy poodle, 16?m) so that we (Dad and Mom, 63m and 55f, and Jamie, 25f) can dogsit him while she’s at work. We’ve already got three dogs of our own, and because both of my parents work full-time (and Jamie works from home part-time), I’m usually the one who has to take care of him during the day (along with our other dogs).

Unfortunately, because Max is an older dog, he has a lot of health issues. He’s mostly blind, fully deaf, and he has intense separation anxiety. He also bites when he’s startled, which is often because he’s deaf and blind. So most times he’s over he’ll pee in the house because he doesn’t know he’s inside, we’ll have to carefully pick him up and put him in the backyard so he can do his business, then stand outside with him so we can keep him from getting lost in a bush or bumping into a tree or freezing to death because he can’t find his way to the door, then we have to carefully pick him up again to bring him back inside. After that, he’ll often walk around the house while screaming because he can’t see or hear anyone and he thinks we’ve abandoned him. It’s hell to deal with, and I’ve had breakdowns on several different occasions while trying to deal with my other responsibilities and also keep him from screaming 24/7. When he’s not aimlessly wandering and screaming, he’s asleep in his dog bed for most of the day. It’s depressing to watch him so sad and unmotivated. He doesn’t know how to be a dog without her.

Recently, Amelia’s been dropping him off more often and for longer stretches. She works retail, so I can understand that her schedule is fucked most of the time. But she’s also been dropping Max off because he’s so overwhelming for her to deal with. He has the same issues when he’s at home with her, but he’s also like 10 times more energetic when she’s around (and he screams when she’s around but not holding him or giving him attention), which is hard for her to deal with after three days of back to back shifts. She’s called my mom before to ask us to take Max for a night just so she can get some sleep.

The most recent time Amelia dropped Max off, she said that he’d been having painful prolonged erections, and that we’d probably have to wipe his penis down with a damp washcloth to get it to go back in. Now, I’ve had dogs for most of my life, I’m not exactly a stranger to having to wipe down doggy nether regions (hell, I’ve dealt with so many clingons you could call me a starfleet ambassador). But having to do that for a blind dog who’s known to bite when he’s startled? Just the idea of having to hold him while someone else wipes makes me want to cry tears of frustration. I’ve already got two scars from him biting me, I’m not aiming for a third.

With all of his health issues, I’m convinced that it’d be much more humane to put Max down now rather than letting him (and quite frankly, everyone who has to take care of him) suffer indefinitely. But at the same time, he’s Amelia’s rock. She’s struggled with depression and anxiety all her life, and she was even hospitalized for severe suicidal ideation two years ago. She’s told me herself that some days, the only thing that gets her out of bed is having to take care of Max. I’ve had a dog like that before, and when he passed suddenly, it destroyed me for months. I’m worried that if Amelia did have to have Max put down, it might lead to her being hospitalized again, or worse. I can’t keep living with him, but at the same time, I can’t expect her to live without him.

TL;DR: my sister’s dog has many health issues that require special care, and I’m responsible for babysitting him while she’s at work. my sister has mental health issues, and taking care of her dog is both incredibly stressful for her and one of the few sources of joy she has. I believe it’d be more humane for everyone if she puts her dog down, but I also don’t want to take away one of the few things that makes her happy. Would I be the asshole if I told her I think she should put down her dog?

What are these acronyms?

#aita #am i the asshole #pet death cw #suicide cw

[imfinereallyy]

Tattooed Steve, pt. 2

Part 1 here

Soooo I ended up writing more tattooed Steve. I couldn’t resist. I also realized that Eddie would be the first person to find out but like…other than Robin. But I didn’t count her because Steve and Robin are the same person honestly at this point. Anyway I hope you like it! Pt. 1 is linked above.

—-

It’s two weeks after Vecna when he gets his first one. It’s unexpected, impulsive even, but Steve needs to feel something. He has just spent the past week and half waiting for Eddie to wake up, staring at his pale form, wishing away the anxiety with every beep, beep, beep that comes from the heart monitor. Begging for this stupid, stupid man to wake up.

He isn’t really sure why he wanted Eddie to wake up. Sure the ruggrats love him, and there is the general sense of not wanting any innocent person to die on his watch, but Steve knows deep down it’s about something else. Or more like the potential of something else. He tries not to think about it too hard.

So during that first week and half of watching a comatose Eddie, Steve takes his time studying the man. Learning every curve, and every scar. And eventually, every visible tattoo he can see. They are interesting, not all of them good, but all very Eddie. It somehow makes them better. Some of them are messed up from the bat bites (ironically the bat tattoos remain untouched), but they add to his aesthetic if Steve is being honest with himself.

When Eddie wakes up after that week and a half, groggy and confused (especially towards the fact that Harrington is practically holding vigil at his bedside), the first thing Steve says to him is “Oh thank god you’re awake.” The second is “What the hell were you thinking?” Before Eddie proceeds to pass out again.

Later, when all of the doctors and family and friends have had their time with him, the third thing Steve says to Eddie is, “Tell me about your tattoos.”

And despite the fact half of them are mangled, Steve doesn’t think he has ever seen anyone light up that bright in his life. And when Eddie starts waving his hands in excitement, Steve can’t help but think that he’s never been so close to the sun before.

So, two weeks after Vecna, Steve makes a decision. Or again, if he’s being honest, an impulse. He finds old books in the library about tattoos (which aren’t very helpful), and finds zines hidden between the pages (much more helpful) on stick and pokes.

Steve shows up with supplies from Melvad’s (for a probably very dangerous tattoo kit) at Robin’s doorstep. “Robs, I need you to give me a tattoo.” Then she proceeds to spit all of her morning tea on him.

After a lot of shouting “Did you hit your head again dingus? Oh my god did you get into another fight? Are you having a break down? SPEAK STEVE.”

And a lot of convincing, “Robin I’m fine. No I’m not having a breakdown. Robs, Robbie, Birdie, I swear nothing happen. I just want to do it.”

The end up on Robin’s bathroom floor (because of course all important things happen on the bathroom floor), with a look of deep concentration on her face. “I can’t believe you’re letting me do this, with only twenty minutes from a zine you smuggled out of Hawkins Library. I can’t believe they even have zines.”

“I don’t think they were aware of it honestly.” Steve snorts. His shirt was off, a patch hair already shaved off right where is heart is placed.

“Do you know what you want?” Robin asks, head tilted.

“No, not really. I was hoping you would help.”

Robin hums, like she’s resisting the urge to point out how impulsive he’s being. Like she knows he needs to do this. “Tell me what made you decide to want one.”

So Steve does. He tell her about waiting for Eddie to wake up. Wondering why Eddie got them. Wanting to own himself again, to actually like something new on his body. Put something there he had control of. His curiosity of if it were painful. His interest behind the stories of Eddies tattoos. How Eddie lit up so bright when asked. Wanting to feel like that. Wanting to be close to the sun again.

Robin mercifully didn’t look too deeply (or at least didn’t push on it) about the interest in Eddie himself. “Okay, I think I got it. Just…hold still.”

Twenty minutes later, after three passes with pen ink and a needle, Robin disinfects his tattoo. Before she covers up, she asks “Do you want to see it?”

Steve nods his head eagerly. The tattoo had painful, more painful than he expected, but he found it sort of grounding. Something to keep him aware of himself, almost as if he was able to grasp parts of himself he wasn’t conscious of before.

When Steve stands up to look in the mirror, there he sees off center on his chest, a wonky little sun. It was something a preschooler could have drawn, but it was one of the most beautiful things Steve had ever seen, and it was made by one of the most important people in his life.

Robin says shyly at Steve’s speechless state, “You said you wanted to be close to the sun again.”

Steve scoops Robin up in an instant, ignoring the stinging both on the outside and inside of his chest. “Thank you Birdie.” Which translates, you are the only person I ever need etched in me forever.

“Always, Stevie.” Which means, you’re never getting rid of me anyway.

They pull away with tearful smiles, and silent promises. Steve can start to feel maybe not much like his old self, but somewhere on the way to who he truly is.

Then Robin says, “Okay, me next.”

————

okay I wasn’t sure if really anyone wanted more, or if I was going to do it but I actually really enjoyed where this ended up. Also I apologize for any tense changes. I quite literally type this on my phone and say screw it, without looking it over. Let me know if you want more maybe? Send me prompts even. Thanks for reading :)

#steddie #Steve and Robin would feed into each other’s impulses #Steve just needs someone to tell him he’s loved and also still pretty #steve harrington #robin buckley #eddie munson #steddie fic #ficlet #platonic soulmates stobin #platonic stobin #stobin headcanons #stranger things #someone draw this #steve x eddie #tattoos #tattooed steve #the party #steddie writing #writing prompt #soft boys

[still-a-morosexual-help]

Here's something mildly heartbreaking :) (my speciality!)

Mammon definitely cried when MC died right?

• He (along with Asmo) is the character who cries the most in canon;

1.) He cries during sad parts of movies/shows/plays/books

2.) He cries while watch animal documentries

3.) Hell he cried because Beel ate the soup he was making MC

• MC died on a day where the rest of the brothers were (up until that point) having a relaxing, fun day - playing a game to get Lucifer & MC closer together. Their death was definitely unexpected/an extreme shock

• MC's injuries were bad according to Satan? (Levi?) Bad enough that a human wouldn't have been able to survive it. Bad enough that even Lucifer knew he couldn't do anything to save them when Asmo asked him to. That means the body Mammon was holding was........ I mean it would have been a gruesome sight

• Mammon's been spending every day since the beginning of the year with MC. At this point he's already obviously in love with them, they're his best friend, the two of them share a bedroom frequently. They were close

The point being: Mammon held a dying human in his arms and sobbed his fucking heart out while asking them not to die. In front of Belphie.

The point being: Mammon didn't cry when Lilith died. No listen, he absolutely broke down when she died but he didn't do it in front of his brothers. Mammon was the one keeping it together and looking after everyone when they Fell. He couldn't scream and cry and beg like he wanted to when Lilith died because he had to be the strong one, he had to soothe everyone's injuries and fears and guilt, he had to show them that things could be better, that they could move on to a brighter future (shoutout to Mammon's lines in his unit song with Lucifer).

But you know what Belphie would have seen?

He would have seen his older brother breaking down over a human he's known for months when he wouldn't even cry after his little sister, who he'd known for thousands of years, died

And we all already know what Belphie thought about humans at this time:

And we already know what he thought about his brothers at this time:

For a moment there, while MC was dying Belphie would have hated Mammon. Would have felt vindicated for causing Mammon that kind of pain, when he (as far as Belphie knew) couldn't even spare that for his sister.

Belphie would have felt angry and betrayed. Justified for what he said and did but so so painfully hurt.

And then (in s1 of the anime) when the brothers were tiptoeing around Belphie, were trying to reach out to him and act normal after what he did, but were so obviously failing, when there was a distance between them and Belphie that had previously never existed, that even Beel couldn't find away to breach, Mammon was the first to take that step forward and close the distance which prompted everyone else to do the same, to bring Belphie back to them, to show that he was accepted and loved and always a part of them

And I am very emotional about them.

Disclaimer: this is absolutely not a post bashing Belphie or his thoughts/actions/feelings. They're both complex characters and I always love trying to breakdown and figure out what certain characters were feeling at a time by bringing up other moments in canon. If you try to make this post into something to bash Belphie or start dumb discourse I will eat your entire right leg🐸

In addition, me stating things from canon or talking about negative emotions or things characters have done and comparing those things to another charcter's actions/emotions/responses is not me putting down one character to raise up another. Sometimes when analysing characters you have to compare and contrast them with others present in that or similar situations -> doing so doesn't mean I'm shit talking one character. A character can do, say, think, believe bad or complex things -> there's nothing wrong with talking about/analysing those things or still loving that character.

I know it seems stupid to say something that should seem obvious but *takes out cigar and blows smoke* I've been in this business a long time, kid (3 years for om!, 7 years actively in a fandom, 14 years in fandom in general) I've seen things, terrible things

Also, lemme shamelessly plug in my fic because it's related to this post -> Changing Seasons

Ft. Belphie coming to terms with MC after Lesson 16

Onesided Belphie × (unnamed gn!) MC

Mammon x MC being Besties

Belphie & Mammon talking, but not talking enough

Belphie's PoV

Mammon very briefly being an eldritch nightmare as a little treat for you monsterfuckers

Edit:

Huge additional part added because I realised the entire focus of this post could be misunderstood

Ajznxodjfc9enhd7ejx 😭😭😭😭this was supposed to be Belphie's post about Belphie's feelings. Y'all know I love Mammon, but he's not supposed to be the focus here🥲

Usually when I make an analysis post I take evidence from canon and then add it all together to get ✨️The Main Point✨️ of the post.

In this post I had to infer all of mammon's "canon evidence" (via other actual canon evidence) because we're never explicitly told he cried when MC died and we never see his instant reaction to Lilith's death.

Belphie's side of it was however all explicitly stated in canon so I just added the screenshots. Which is why I wrote much more about mammon on this post than Belphie.

But ✨️The Main Point✨️ that I was always getting to and what made me write this post is actually about how absolutely fucking pissed off Belphie would have been because of Mammon. How hurt and angry and betrayed he would have felt that his older brother who's meant to protect him and his family apparently valued the life of some random human over their sister's.

I added the S1 bit because it nicely rounded up Belphie & Mammon's story. Because it proved Belphie wrong. It proved exactly how much Mammon (and the others) valued him and each other. Because he got to see how heartbroken Mammon was when MC died, he knew exactly what it was like to be that heartbroken, he knew exactly what it was like to NEVER forgive that which caused the pain, and yet he was forgiven. And THAT I think more than anything would have proved Belphie's initial thoughts wrong. It would have eased any lingering feelings of betrayal and hurt he had. Would have proved how much he was loved by his older brother.

So yeah, this was absolutely made to be Belphie's post and I don't think I explained that well enough in the original post💀 in my defense i was half an hour late in feeding the kids & getting yelled at🥲

#obey me #obey me shall we date #obey me belphie #obey me belphegor #om belphie #om belphegor #obey me! belphie #obey me! belphegor #om! belphie #om! belphegor #shall we date belphie #shall we date belphegor #swd belphie #swd belphegor #swd mammon #om! mammon #obey me mammon #om mammon #obey me! mammon #shall we date mammon #obey me mammon! #obey me! #shall we date? obey me! #swd obey me #swd obey me! #shall we date obey me #obey me mc #om mc #obey me! mc #om! mc

[randomshyperson]

Fluorescent Adolescent - Heart Shaped Series

Chapter Summary: Layla's presence brings back some ghosts from your past and for the first time, you want to include Wanda in everything.

Warnings: Typical canon violence, mentions of blood, stitches, and pregnancy nausea, talking about abusive environments (innuendo of different forms of exploration), mild angsty with a bit of comedy as well, some Blackhill drama too | Words: 6.935k

A/N-> This chapter is a bit longer but I tried to put more characters background on it. I know it's late, I've been struggling with my writer's block, but it's finally here. I'm also sorry there's no smut on this one, but the chapter mood was not a sexy one. We will be back to our normal schedule I promise. Also, the extra chapter with their first kiss is almost ready as well! So hopefully, the next update won't take that long.

General Masterlist | Wattpad | AO3 | Series Masterlist

-&-

“Do you really have to do that?”

The question drew a confused laugh from you. With your hands busy with a first aid kit borrowed from Natasha, you can only offer a look to your girlfriend.

"Yes?"

But Wanda snorted stubbornly, crossing her arms before stopping in the doorway of the bathroom in Black Widow's room, who was standing outside with the rest of the team. You were supposed to go back outside right away before Layla had a nervous breakdown at being left with the entire Avengers team while you grabbed the kit to fix your own reaction to seeing her and ending up hurting her.

"I just don't understand why you have to do the bandage. Can't you ask Nat or any of them?" Wanda insisted, sounding very irritated and you had no idea why.

"Well, Layla only trusts me of all the people present and I'm the one who threw her against a snack machine." You half-heartedly explain the whole thing. "If you'll excuse me, sweetheart."

Wanda gave you the room but did so with a grimace that you would probably try to understand later. She's been acting so weird ever since your partner arrived, but Layla's presence is making you worried enough. You'd talk to Wanda after you understood exactly what the other woman was doing here.

Outside, and in the outer courtyard that was more isolated from the rest of the motel, Layla was sitting at one of the tables with the Avengers doing a poor job of disguising the fact that they were on alert for her. Sitting down, her jacket was laid beside her, and she was wearing a tank top that exposed the redness of her new bruise and made you groan low in guilt. Wanda, who hadn't left your trail since Layla appeared, glared at you as soon as she caught the sound.

For the witch, she didn't see the bruise but the beautiful woman with well-defined muscles, a tight tank top and curls that made her look even more attractive than before. And you, who apparently had a long-term relationship with the curly woman and were friendly enough for her to come looking for you.

You didn't even notice the look Wanda gave you, busy opening the kit and mumbling apologies to Layla in Arabic that made Wanda spend the next few minutes imagining you learning another language just to talk to your friend.

She was so distracted by her own neuroses that she didn't notice Natasha approaching, and leaning on the pillar she was also resting on.

"Wow, if looks could kill..." teased the widow, but Wanda snorted lowly, ignoring the phrase and trying to pretend she wasn't watching you pull whatever piece of glass the machine left behind in Layla's back, while you whispered apologies to her for it. 

Natasha chuckled at the witch's expression and wasn't intimidated by her aggressive attitude. It surprised her that Wanda, a moment later, was the one who started the conversation.

"Do you think they seem close?"

You had just pressed a cotton pad with alcohol on Layla's wound, and because you were sitting next to her, the woman, grunting in pain, instinctively grabbed your thigh. 

Nat raised an eyebrow.

"I bet you ten bucks they've slept together." Replied the widow, and Wanda grunted in disgust before turning away from the scene. Natasha giggled. "Hey, I'm joking."

"Whatever, I'd better get out of here before I blow something up." Muttered the witch in a frown, practically running away from the scene.

Natasha sighed, regretting having taken the provocation too far. She took one last look at you and Layla before turning back to Steve and Sam on the other side of the courtyard.

You were just finishing sewing the few stitches on Layla's shoulder when she called your attention.

"Sorry, I promise I'm almost done-"

"It's not that, يا حلو (sweetie)." She interrupts gently. "I don't think your girlfriend likes me."

You smile, unable to take your eyes off the stitches you're closing. "Don't be silly, Wanda doesn't know you well enough." You retort. " She'll need at least a few days not to like you."

Layla chuckles, pinching you gently for the joke. You finish the stitches next, and as you assess the work to make sure they won't open, she speaks again.

"I've been looking for you."  Layla's tone is a little upset, and it surprises you. You look at her, but she continues to stare at the team from a distance. "I thought you might have been kidnapped. Or even killed. I almost went to Valentina to ask." You swallow, ready to apologize when Layla finally looks at you. "And all this time you've been playing superhero with your new friends?"

"Layla, it's nothing like that."

"So what's it like?" She demands with a hard stare. You sigh, hesitating about taking it all in like that, and Layla studies you intently. When she speaks again, it's in another language that she hopes no prying ears can understand. "هل هي مهمة أخرى؟ (Is it another assignment)?"

You look back at Natasha talking to Sam and of course she would know Arabic, but she didn't really seem to be paying attention to the conversation.

Either way, you face Layla and and denies it with your head. You sigh once more before forcing a smile at her. "I'm not here on business."

Layla doesn't seem to believe your words. "Come on, I'm not going to torment you if your girlfriend asked you to steal something for them." She shrugged. "I even heard that they're being treated like criminals now. Decided to act on their own, huh?"

You don't answer right away. You occupy your hands with the bloodstained cotton and the needle thread, saving what can be reused, like the alcohol, and throwing away the rest.

When you return to the table where Layla is still exchanging hard looks in the direction of the Avengers, you lean over to talk to her.

"Valentina didn't send me here." You say. "Like I said, it's not about work. Me and Wanda, we're together for real."

Despite the tense exchange between her and the rest of the team, excitement shines through her irises and she looks at you with wide, surprised eyes, a smile playing on her lips.

"Oh, you didn't say."

You chuckle shyly, looking away from your colleague. "Shut up."

"No, I mean it." She giggles. "Damn, I think I owe Xu Xialing some money." You frown in confusion, and Layla sighs. "She bet you'd put a ring on it before the end of the year, and here we are."

Your ears heat up, but you roll your eyes. "I can't believe you bet on me."

Layla chuckles, gently bumping her good shoulder against yours. "Come on, what do you expect from the founder of the Golden Daggers? She breathes gambling. You got really drunk after the last championship and started whining about how much you missed your little Sokovian witch. I wasn't expecting to owe Xialing 20,000 Yuan either, but here we are."

It's your turn to laugh, covering your face for a moment. "And how is she? Xu Xialing?"

Layla snorts softly, shrugging. "Honestly, I have no idea. But if the club is still standing, then she must be fine."

"You should visit her."

"Funny, I was going to say the same thing to you." Layla retorts somewhat ironically, and you hesitate, looking away. "What? Why are you acting so weird?"

You chuckled weakly, trying to gather your courage. Finally, you take a deep breath and say. "I'm not going to do these things anymore, Layla. Nothing we did together. Robberies, fights, the club. None of it. I want out."

But it doesn't take Layla by surprise. She remains silent before looking away.

"I guess I expected that."

You frown. "Really?"

Layla chuckles, looking at you again. "Yeah. Since the day you arrived from Italy, acting so... quirky."

"I wouldn't use that word."

"I thought it would be rude to call you a simp." 

You chuckle, shaking your head. Layla laughs too, before leaning her good shoulder against yours. It's an affectionate gesture, which she used to do a lot when you were on long robberies and so exhausted that the world would stop making sense. The touch was a way of anchoring each other back to reality.

"You could have told me." She says gently, even if the words hide a certain disappointment. 

You swallow, looking down at your shoes. "I was afraid, I guess." You mumble, and she frowns in confusion. You sigh sadly. "I'm not good with these things, Layla. You're my work partner. I thought, if I'm not working anymore, I'll lose you. I just... didn't want that. It was easier not saying anything."

Layla reaches over to entwine her arm in yours and take your hand. "You're an idiot."

"Thanks." You mumble, but she chuckles, squeezing your fingers for a moment.

"I'm sorry, Y/N." She says and you look at her curiously. She sighs. "For giving you the impression that we were just work colleagues. You're my friend. You've always been my friend."

You smile, ignoring the sudden urge to cry. 

"I'm sorry I didn't call." You mumble. "I didn't want to worry you."

"Nah, it's fine." She assures you with a smile. "It's like Bulgaria all over again. I should have waited for backup, but all I ended up doing was calling you for help. I don't think I'll ever get over the fact that you got me out of that basement wearing the Chief of Government's face." You chuckle nostalgically at the story of what was probably the moment when your friendship and partnership with Layla was settled. 

"You want to get even? Tell Valentina about me." It's supposed to be a joke, but it immediately makes Layla tense up.

She opens her mouth to say something, but suddenly there's a backpack slamming into her lap. 

"Your things are in one piece again." It's Wanda, angry and with red eyes that make Layla frown with some concern. The remnants of her magic leaving the backpack also signal that Wanda has repaired anything broken by the impact earlier. "You can leave now."

You only realized you were still holding Layla's hand because Wanda was looking directly at it. It was your friend who let go first, chuckling weakly at the whole thing while you tried to understand exactly why Wanda seemed about to murder someone.

"Thanks for fixing my stuff, but I still have a few things to discuss with my partner." Layla replies with a shrug, her backpack in her hands. "I'll get something to eat first, I'm starving."

But Wanda steps forward. "There are some great restaurants on the road."

The curly gives a confused snort at the hostility, but you get to your feet before your friend ends up giving a rude answer to a witch who could do a lot worse than push her against a snack machine.

You enter Wanda's field of vision, and much of the fury disappears from her gaze. 

"Hey, can we talk?" You ask, and the witch gives the thief one last angry look before allowing herself to be taken to a far corner of the courtyard. You sigh softly as soon as you're alone with her. "What was that all about, Wanda?"

She crosses her arms, her jaw clenched. It's so unfair that Wanda always finds ways to make herself more attractive. 

"You told me you didn't have any friends, but you seem very close to that woman."

You hesitate, and that doesn't help your situation. Wanda narrows her eyes at you, and you try not to look intimidated under her red irises.

"It's complicated."

" It's better not to be, darling, because if she touches you again I swear I'll-"

"Wow, you're jealous." You interrupt her sentence as you realize it, a laugh escaping you. "Holy shit, you really are."

Wanda doesn't reply, rolling her eyes and looking away, but you stare at her with a certain intensity. 

"No one's ever been jealous of me before." You confess quietly, and despite the color in her cheeks, she looks at you with irritation.

"Stop it." She retorts. "That's not a good thing. You shouldn't try to look on the bright side, I'm not… “ She takes a deep breath, as if trying to calm her nerves. Then, she tries to smile. “I'm just being silly. You should say that."

You chuckle. One of your hands moves up to brush the rebellious strands of hair out of front of her eyes.

"Alright, I'll try. Wanda, you're being silly. There's no reason to be jealous. Better? I kinda sound like those movie characters."

Wanda grunted in frustration, hiding her face in your chest afterward. "It's not fair." She mutters, her voice muffled in your clothes as your hands wrap around her shoulders. "She was all over you, and I can't even be mad at you for being clueless."

You sigh, without breaking the embrace, trying to explain further:

"It was a friendly gesture, I promise. It's nothing like when we hold hands. When Layla and I would go on missions together, sometimes we'd spend so long hiding, rationing food while injured, that we'd start to get a little crazy. The touch would ground us again. She reached out to my hand because I told her I wasn't going to work with her anymore."

Wanda breaks the embrace to look at you. "Because you're staying with me."

You smile and nod. "That's right, darling. Just like I promised."

The witch sighs, sinking her face into your chest again for a long moment. You don't mind and stroke her hair until Wanda ignores the insecurities that have arisen and relies only on you.

She's still hugging you when she mutters: "I'm sorry for snapping at your friend. I'll apologize to her too."

"It's okay, I doubt Layla took it to heart." You mutter, and Wanda breaks the hug to look you in the eye.

"What does she still have to discuss with you?" The witch asked more seriously, with a different kind of concern rather than jealousy now.

You force a smile. "Let's find out." 

The new information you passed on to Layla about running away seemed to have some kind of effect on her because when you and Wanda found her again, she was chatting amiably with the rest of the Avengers. Wanda had the impression that Sam was actually flirting with her and felt some weight leave her shoulders even though you had assured her that there was nothing between you. 

With the most sympathetic exchange between Layla and the rest of the team, she was invited to stay - Of course, she didn't miss the opportunity to make a few jokes on earth mighty heroes having lunch with criminals, but everyone took it as a joke. And shortly after eating, Wanda noticed that the two of you exchanged a look that meant it was time to talk.

She was ready to deal with her own jealous insecurities when you, who had been by her side all lunch, leaned over to kiss her cheek.

"Come on, love, let's go for a walk with Layla." It's an invitation, not just to talk, but to a part of your life that Wanda has never seen. She has to bite the inside of her cheek to control her anxiety, and it helps a little by the look of reassurance that Natasha throws her from across the table.  

Layla, now with the bandage securely sewn up, is wearing a jacket again and dark glasses that make her look too cool even for the fugitive Avengers. 

Wanda wishes she wasn't so nice and clever in her jokes and comments during lunch either, so it would be easier to hate her.

So far, she has only been able to understand exactly why you were friends.

"I gotta catch a bus, come on." Layla says as soon as you're on your feet. There's no bigger goodbye for the Avengers than a nod, and it makes sense since despite the polite exchange, they're not friends and Layla is still on the wanted list.

You keep your hand intertwined with Wanda's, and at a slow pace, you accompany Layla to the nearest bus stop.

"It's quite of sad you couln't get a car, my friend." You tease, earning a short laugh from Layla. Even though you can't see behind her glasses, you're sure she rolled her eyes.

"I couldn't bring my bike straight here from across the globe, and I wasn't going to attract unwanted attention by stealing a new one." She explains casually. "Besides, there's decent public transportation around here." She winks at you and Wanda. "I will survive."

You reach the bus stop on the corner, it's completely empty but that's not atypical for a corner motel in an isolated place.

Wanda decides to sit on one of the benches, and even though you're standing, you don't occupy her view or try to exclude her from the conversation. You lean against one of the railings and cross your arms, offering Wanda a small smile before facing Layla.

"So, Miss El-Faouly, how fucked am I?"

She chuckles, shaking her head.

"I told you, Valentina doesn't know you ran away." She retorts. "Not yet."

You sigh, and Wanda bites the inside of your cheek. She has so many questions, but you think it's best not to interrupt. 

"What does she know?"

Layla shrugs. "She probably thinks you're having another morality crisis." The woman retorts, stealing a few glances down the street. "You've been away before. A few times on vacation, yes? But she'll know what you're up to if you don't come back soon."

You look down to check the watch on your wrist. You laugh humorlessly. "Actually, I've just missed the deadline. It's Tuesday, which means that officially, this is my longest period without contact after a mission. I guess she hadn't come to me yet because what I picked up in Greece arrived in the mail."

Wanda doesn't ask - not about what you were stealing before you joined her. The connection, the freshly healed bullet wound you had when you arrived. She knew you were working. 

Layla steals a glance at the witch before clearing her throat.

"What if... you came back?" Your expression hardens immediately, but Layla clarifies; "Just to talk to Valentina, Y/N."

"No, Layla."

"She'll make things more difficult if she knows you've just left. You know that. If only-"

"It's out of the question."

"God, why are you being so stubborn?" Layla replies a little impatiently, her eyes studying you. "Your superhero girlfriend will be fine for a few days without you!"

"Layla." You cut in more seriously, and the girl snorts angrily but doesn't insist. Exchanging a glance with Wanda, you soften your tone. "I'm not leaving her, Layla. I can't, it's not right. Wanda, she... she's pregnant."

Layla widens her eyes, looking between the two of you in shock. "What? Really? And it's yours?"

You and Wanda choke at the same time. With her ears slightly reddened, she gives your friend a deadly stare. "Of course it is!"

The thief shakes her head quickly. "I didn't mean it like that!" She tries quickly. "I just... I didn't know you could, Y/N."

You sigh wearily. "I can transform into any Caborn-based form and you think I'm unlikely to have children?" 

But Layla rolls her eyes, suddenly a little hesitant. "That's not what I meant either." She mutters. "I just assumed... you couldn't. Not after all they've done to you..."

But you clear your throat, get to your feet and Layla falls silent. Wanda frowns in curiosity at the interaction, but you're delivering something to your friend.

"Here, for Lagaro. For all the trouble." You hand over your watch and Layla grimaces.

"And my trouble?"

You chuckle. "Af if  you weren't dying to see me."

Wanda clears her throat, and you take a step away from Layla before your girlfriend loses her temper again. The curly doesn't notice, busy putting your watch back in her pocket and checking the street again.

"Lagaro will be happy to know you're not dead, Y/N. Not just with the watch." Your friend comments and you nod, moving closer to Wanda to rest one of your arms on her shoulder. You're trying to relax the tension that has arisen there. When Layla looks at you again, her expression is more serious. "Think about what I said. I understand why you can't leave her, I really do. I guess it's the same idea with Marc disappearing to protect me."

You smile. "Marc disappears because he's an idiot, you should have married someone more... present." Layla raises her middle finger at you, but Wanda suddenly feels very silly knowing that all this time, your friend was married.

There's a bus approaching on the corner, Layla sighs as she sees it stop at a red light. She then offers you two a smile.

"Despite the circumstances, I'm really happy for you both." She assures you with sparkling eyes. "Just... be safe, darling. Okay?"

As she hugs you, she whispers something that Wanda doesn't hear and has to ignore the instinct to ask. She doesn't want to pry, but she feels so curious that she almost uses her powers to find out.

Instead, she also says goodbye to Layla and the two of you watch the woman get on the bus and leave.

Once you're alone, you entwine your hands together again and give Wanda a small smile.

"I can almost hear the gears in your mind working, baby." You tell her gently, and Wanda sighs. "You know you can ask me anything, don't you?

She nods, before looking around to see the growing number of lunchtime passers-by. With another sigh, she faces you.

"Let's go back inside."

It's a silent, tense walk back. You can sense that Wanda is nervous, and you fear that she's insecure again, about trusting you, about feeling left out.

The Avengers are no longer outside, whether they're back in their own rooms or out for a walk, you don't need to give any excuses about Layla's quick farewell. 

Wanda enters first, and as you close the door, she crosses her arms and waits in the center of the room.

With a sigh, you speak first. "Come on, darling, ask me anything you want." You try to sound as gentle as you can, yet Wanda seems very nervous.

"I've spent so much time studying you. Your missions, your deeds, your disguises." She begins. "Still, I feel like I don't know anything."

"Well, that's because I'm good at what I do." Wanda looks at you seriously and you sigh, forcing yourself to act more serious about the whole thing. "Sweetheart, you know me. You know me more than anyone else."

You try to touch her cheek, but Wanda pulls away. "You say that, but I don't think it's true." She fights back annoyed. "I didn't even know about Layla. What else are you hiding?"

You frown in surprise at the accusation. But instead of starting a fight, you swallow dry. "I wasn't hiding. This is hard for me. I can't just dump my life on you. Sharing... doesn't come naturally to someone like me."

Wanda looks down, a little uncertain. "I just want you to trust me."

"And I do." You assure her, stepping forward to touch her shoulders. This time, she almost melts into your touch. "Look at me, I've been an wanted criminal for as long as I can remember, but I'm here, in a hotel surrounded by avengers, just to be with you. I want to be with you, no matter the risk, no matter what. Not only do I trust you, but I love you. Do you understand what I'm saying? You not knowing all the details of my past, of my work, doesn't make it any less true."

Wanda takes a deep breath and lets her forehead fall to yours. You stroke her shoulders, thinking about breaking the distance when suddely she moves away.

"You really have to go, don't you?" She asks with tears in her eyes, and you feel your stomach sink. You shake your head immediately, but something in your gaze makes Wanda's tears start to fall.

"I'm not going anywhere."

"Y/N."

"I'll find another way." You assure her, but she turns her back, wiping her face and sitting down on the bed. Wanda hugs her own body and you let your arms fall by your sides. Seeing her cry is always the worst, and for a second, you let your anger get the better of you. "What? Do you want me to leave by any chance?"

Wanda lets out a tearful laugh. "Don't do that."

You snort angrily. "I'm telling you that I want to stay, that I am going to stay. And you're crying, as if you're sure I'm going to leave. I don't like being called a liar, Wanda."

She shakes her head. "Stop."

"No, you stop. I'm telling you something, but you're acting as if I'm going to abandon you. As if you were sure. Do you really think so little of me?"

Wanda chokes, raising pleading eyes to you.

"Of course not!" she retorts. "Don't say that."

The seriousness in her gaze makes you feel ashamed that you'd even considered such a thing. You prepare to apologize, but Wanda speaks again.

"It's your thoughts." She mutters, now she's the one who looks ashamed as she gazes at the floor. "Your mind is screaming that. You're so worried, I can easily hear it."

"Wanda, I...

"It's okay." She cuts in with a tearful voice. "I'm not angry, I think I get it. You don't want to put me in danger, but I'd like you to understand that you don't have to worry about it. I can protect us both."

You chuckle weakly, looking down at your feet. "That sounds lovely, but the last time I left you, you ended up in the Raft, darling. I don't want that to happen ever again."

"And it won't."

"You don't know that." You retort, moving closer to kneel in front of her. Your hands search for hers. "I won't leave you again, Wanda. Not like I used to do to get back to work. We're in this together. Can you please believe me?"

Wanda lets go of one of her hands to stroke the loose strands of hair away from your face. "Why is it so hard for you to get away from Valentina?" She asks, and the red irises explain why she can read the insecurities in your mind. You hesitate, but when you make a move to pull away, the grip on your hand tightens. "What's different between escaping her and escaping Hydra?"

But the hesitation in your eyes turned to confusion. "Escape Hydra? Wanda, I've never escaped them."

It was then her turn to be confused. "B-but I thought... your records. You haven't worked with Strucker for years. I assume-"

"That I just left them? Like you did?" You add, suddenly upset. Wanda says nothing and allows you to let go of her hand to sit down next to her on the bed. You sigh before speaking again. "I never ran away from Hydra, Wanda. My program was a success. And because of that fact, Strucker was allowed to command yours." You say, without meeting her gaze, your hands fiddling with the loose threads of your jeans. "Even if he made mistakes, even if volunteers kept dying, he could still be in charge. Because it worked for me, so it would work for others."

"What happened to you?" she risks asking and you sniffle.

"What happens to valuable merchandise, of course." You reply darkly. "I was sold." Wanda chokes softly, but you force a sad smile and keep talking. "I was 10, maybe younger. The program was complete, Strucker decided it was time to show off his new triumph. At his request, I created my first fixed identity at that time, to make it easier to find clients. To have a trademark, I guess. But with each buyer, they wanted something different. The Slayer, Mighty Samuel, Scorpion, Dark Diamond, any weird name they wanted. Any face they needed. For any service they paid for." The way your jaw tenses makes Wanda understand what is hidden between your words. Everything that was left out of the Shield and Avengers files, simply because they didn't know you were all those people.

Wanda reaches for your hand, interlacing your fingers together. "If it's too painful, you don't have to talk about it."

You squeeze back, shaking your head. "No, it's fine. I can talk about it, it's been a while. And Val, hm, she put me in therapy for a while. So I could talk about the program, my past, for her records."

"Tell me about her." Wanda asks because this doesn't just sound like a contractor and employee relationship. You sigh, nodding.

"I was 16 when the CIA caught up with me. It was no challenge, of course. But the agent who found me, Valentina Fontaine, had intel on me. At the time, Hydra and Shield shared the same name, so I couldn't tell who was a friend so easily. But Valentina? Oh, she knew a lot. She didn't care about the coats of arms one would wear, she just had a particular interest in special individuals. But she didn't approve of the way I was being enslaved. Barbaric she called. She charmed me, so, so easily. She was always very good with words. Manipulative. She got me to take her to my owner at the time, said she would give me my freedom." You sighed tiredly. "But when I took her to him, the rest of her team revealed themselves. They killed anyone who tried to fight and imprisoned the rest. My master, my boss." You correct yourself as you feel Wanda complains about the title. "He swore he was going to kill me for the betrayal. So Val shot him in front of me, and said that from then on, I owed her my life."

"You don't owe her anything. You know that, don't you?" Wanda retorts immediately, but you move uncomfortably as if the idea was already craved in your mind, and remind Wanda of how Bucky feels about the Winter Soldier and everything Hydra has put him through.

"I can think about it rationally, but practically? No, it's not that simple." You murmur, adjusting yourself to turn your whole body towards Wanda, your fingers playing with hers. "Valentina didn't use me, not like the others did. She bought me a place, gave me a name." You laugh weakly. "Of course, she couldn't say she'd got me in a dirty shed in Madripoor. No, she had to lie. She let me be Lady Fontaine, a distant relative of hers. She paid me very well for any service. I could travel wherever I wanted, have my own teams. I was free."

"As long as you kept working for her."

You swallow, agreeing. "Yeah, as long as I kept doing the job." You mutter. "But for someone like me, the life I had before, the deal was not bad, not at all. The whole sense of freedom. But then... I met you. Suddenly all those expensive things I could buy, all the adrenaline of a new robbery, everything stopped making sense if I didn't have you by my side.”

Wanda smiles tenderly, leaning in to steal a kiss from you. It's quick, but deep enough to make you sigh against her lips.

"Nothing and no one will ever keep us apart again, detka. I promise." Wanda whispers, her arms going to your shoulders so she can hug you and sit on your lap. You melt into the warm sensation, hugging her back with the same intensity.

It takes you by surprise, of course, and a moment later, Wanda hurries away.

"Is something wrong?" But she's already stumbling out of bed, running for the bathroom. "Wanda?" You barely get to your feet and hear her throwing up. First, your body goes into full alert, and then you sigh and relax as you remember: Pregnant girlfriend.

When you reach the door, it slams shut in your face, still shining with red magic. You chuckle.

"Don't come in here. It's disgusting." Wanda grumbles from inside, but you shake your head in disbelief and open the door, reaching up to hold her hair, calming any protests with a caress on her back as Wanda flushes all her lunch down the toilet. 

"Can I run you a hot bath?" you suggest, still holding her hair. Wanda nods weakly, and you smile briefly.

You walk away to the bathtub while hoping that her state is enough for her not to notice your racing thoughts about keeping a pregnant woman in those conditions. 

-&-

Wanda gets shot in the stomach. You wake up with a jolt.

The motel room is poorly lit, and you realize you've fallen asleep sitting up. Wanda sleeps deeply beside you, and you sigh before leaving the bed.

The bathroom light is the only one on in the room and gives away the previous activities - Wanda's nauseated state for almost the entire night. Perhaps the events were the reason for your nightmares.

Knowing that your girlfriend would easily notice your discomfort and end up waking up due to the nature of her powers, you left the room to get some air, and maybe push those thoughts away.

Given the time of night, the motel was quiet. But the figure smoking on the balcony made you take a deep breath.

"Hi, Nat."

The widow wasn't startled, she'd probably heard you coming out. She mumbled the greeting back, taking a long drag before offering the item to you. Your response was a dismissive nod.

"Sorry about the smoke." She says, and you scratch your eyes for a moment, shrugging in a sign that you weren't really bothered by it. 

The next moment, you ask: "Rough night?"

Natasha gives a small laugh. "You have no idea." She retorts, attracting your curiosity. But the concern in her eyes is for Wanda's safety, she realizes, and quickly clarifies: "Nothing affecting your little witch, relax."

Despite feeling a weight leave your shoulders, you adjust your body towards the widow. "I know we're not friends and that this is a situation of necessity, but I'm grateful for the way you're keeping us safe. If there's anything I can do to help you with your problem, please don't hesitate to ask."

The sincerity of the words surprised her for a moment. And then, after another swallow, Nat laughs lightly and comments: "If you have any solution for a broken heart, I'll take it."

You frown, absorbing her words for a moment. Nat almost immediately looks away, busy smoking as if hoping that the cigarette would take away all the pain she was feeling. Your mind is racing with all the things you've been entrusted with about the widow, be it work-related or the little socializing of the last few months.

You don't have enough to know exactly what Natasha is saying, but it occurs to you that she must really need to speak to someone about it, at least enough to mention it to you.

"What happened?"

The next laugh that escapes her is a sad one. "Nothing you can fix it."

"I wasn't intending to anyway." You respond gently, offering her a smile. "I'm just here to listen. If you need to talk to someone."

"I have people to listen to me, thank you." She snaps back, and you sigh tiredly before stepping away from the edge.

You nod and retort; "All right, Romanoff, sorry for intruding." And you turn away, heading for the stairs. 

But from the balcony, Nat only lets you go down two steps before saying; "I was engaged. Past tense." And you raise a frown in surprise at her, only for Nat to sigh, looking like she's going to burst into tears at any moment. "Like I said, it's nothing you can help me with."

But you rest your waist on the railing and keep looking up. "I'm sorry, the Captain is an asshole-"

"What?" Nat cuts you off with a grimace. "I wasn't talking about Steve!"

"Oh, I'm sorry, I assumed you two-" But Nat bursts into laughter, and you shut up. It's better that she's laughing than crying anyway. 

Wiping away tears of laughter, she shakes her head. "I understand why Wanda likes you. Your cluelessness is hilarious."

"I'll take that as a compliment."

Nat chuckles briefly, taking one last drag before putting out her cigarette. She rests her elbows on the edge and looks down at you.

"Agent Hill was my fiancée." She explains, more gently than before. "We had a plan. One that didn't involve me switching sides and ending up fleeing across Europe."

You offer Nat a look of understanding. She sighs, looking away so you don't see her tears.

"Let me guess, Miss Hill believes you prioritized the Avengers over the life you planned together?"

Nat chuckles humorlessly, humming in agreement. She looks at you again with watery eyes. "Don't you think she's right?"

You sigh. "I think things are more complicated than that."

"They certainly are." Nat mutters tiredly. She swallows dryly, pushing her own emotions away before looking at you with a certain determination. It's going to be about you now. "How long are you going to keep this up, Y/N?"

It's your turn to sigh and cross your arms. Your gaze wanders away. Natasha decides to press.

"There are hundreds of bounties on you." She says. "You've annoyed too many people."

"I know." 

"And Wanda needs to see a doctor-"

"Natalia." You cut her off, and her given name catches her off guard. She falls silent, staring at you intently. You sigh. “"I'll go where Wanda goes. No more leaving. I'm tired of running away."

Natasha remains quiet and thoughtful for a long moment. When she suddenly laughs dryly and offers you the cigarette again, you think it's best to accept.

"I think I just got Maria's point." She mumbles in annoyance, and you're a little taken aback by the tears in her eyes. But you try to take a drag on the cigarette, and start coughing, and it works to make Nat laugh and help you instead of crying. She takes the cigarette back, and gives you one last pat on the back, her hand staying in place instead of moving away. "That girl loves you with all her heart, Y/N. She'll follow you if you ask her to, so I beg you, make your decisions with your head, not your heart. Don't put her in danger that you can't protect her from."

You look at Nat. "Do you think that's what you're doing for Maria? Protecting her?"

"This isn't about Maria and me."

But you pull away from Nat's touch, looking at her hard. "I think it is." You insist seriously. "I can't protect Wanda from anything, and I don't need to. She's infinitely more powerful than I am. And I certainly won't be plotting decisions without her. If she decides to leave with me, that's her choice. Not any of yours, and maybe that's the problem with the Avengers, huh? You have a bad habit of putting your members in no-win situations."

Nat forces a smile. "Yes, we're the ones who are wrong not to want Wanda running around with a thief." She ironizes it, and you swallow, your gaze tired and disappointed. Nat is upset, and well, you're the easiest target here. That doesn't mean it doesn't hurt. "Excuse me, for not wanting her in Madripoor, surrounded by the Chinese Mob!" 

You sniffle lightly, shaking your head. "Do you know who's in Madripoor, Natalia? Your old colleague, Sharon Carter. The one who sacrificed her career for what you and Steve did. The one who was abandoned by you two without hesitation. Just like Clint did it, for whom Wanda's twin brother died and for whom she accepted this position. He abandoned her without looking back. Because that's what the Avengers do for each other, isn't it?" you retort angrily. "But I am the villain. I'm the one who stays and takes care of Wanda no matter what and makes her my priority, and I'm still the wrong one. Even though I'm not the one who let her end up in a fucking straitjacket, locked up like an animal!"

You don't realize you're screaming, but for a whole moment, all you can see is that damn newspaper photo of how Wanda looked, how she was captured. Nat's cheeks are wet, but she doesn't lose her posture.

You chuckle humorlessly. "You've got a damn nerve acting like you're better than me, Romanoff. Especially you."

"Don't go there." She warns with a dangerous look, but you shake your head.

"What would be the point?" You retort. "I'm over the past, but I can't say the same for you. You're pushing Agent Hill away because you're afraid of who you were, you're afraid that anger is still there. You're not giving Maria the choice to love you completely. And I'm not going to make the same mistake with Wanda."

With one last hard look at Nat, you turn to leave. Deciding that you need to take a walk and calm your nerves before going back to your room.

#wanda maximoff x reader #wanda x reader #heart shaped series #wanda maximoff series

[allsadnshit]

My co worker showed me how to set up my voicemail box after a decade of not having one and to my surprise an entire decade of voicemails started coming in. I was listening to the ones from 2014 and it was so many missed moments. My step mom trying to call me during my dads first intervention. I thought she just never said anything. A really happy loving voicemail of my old best friend singing he misses me was wanted to hang out. A million voice messages from my nai nai saying she just wanted to touch base. My first coffee manager telling me I got the job. My first art curator asking if I had anything I wanted to sell.

It took me all my energy at work not to have a complete mental breakdown.

I've been talking so much about grief this year because to my surprise, finally feeling safe and finally starting to process a lifetime of stunted emotions has been the most painful and joyful thing I've ever experienced. No one tells you when your mind and body protect you from harm with disassociation that when you finally come out of it, you will be left alone with all your feelings and the moment will have passed. I feel like I've let everyone I ever loved down, especially when I got sick. I feel like everyone watched my become emotionally unavailable and unable to trust, and pulled away with every hard thing that happened to me this last decade and now the truth is I don't have any friends. No one made it through the wreckage, and I am second guessing if I even did now. I stopped being able to eat anything, go out, or even look my loved ones in the eye my last few years in my hometown and then I feel like I acted so rashly and so emotionally manic calling crying after not talking for months and they must have thought I was so unstable and selfish and now I am scared that's a fair description.

I feel like I wasn't myself for a really long time and nothing could get through to me even though I was desperate for connection. Family, friends, relationships all passed me by and I left everyone disappointed and confused while my chronic pain got worse and cycled into violence with my undiagnosed ocd keeping me housebound.

I feel like I am a million miles away by the time I am turning around hearing my name called out, and all I can do is stand there knowing it's an echo by now.

I don't understand why I am so bad at showing people I love them and need them. Even as I unravel it all in therapy, does it even matter when it's too late? I feel inconsolable and like I've never once been able to make the people who mattered to me felt like they did and now I am too scared to try.

So I'm gonna go home and eat dinner

#personal

[thelov3lybookworm]

Remember Me? (Part 8)

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7

Summary: Under the Mountain, Y/n met the High Lord of the Night Court, Rhysand. She was scared of him, but soon she found out that he wasn't who he pretended to be. Despite her efforts at not falling in love with him, she fails. It's not that bad as he loves her back.

But now he's gone, and she's left alone with nothing.

Except for a very adorable reminder of him.

•○●⛦●○•

Tw: secret pregnancy, none more that I can think of, so let me know if I need to add anything.

A/n: I promise feyfey is going to leave rhysie. i promise. she just needs a lil bit of time to think things through.

also, im thinking of making the next chapter feyre's pov, and that is why this part was short 😅

Anyways, dont kill me please, and enjoy!

•○🌑○•

Y/n watched as Feyre trembled, her hands wrapped around the small paper cup, the melting ice cream now all but a milkshake.

She seemed to be deep in thought, and her trembling increased. Y/n hoped it was a tremble of rage and not despair.

It was just Feyre and Y/n at the table, Eris having taken the two little boys with him to another table so they could have, as they called it, boys time.

Just the thought threatened to make Y/n smile.

But she suppressed it, as it really was not a good time to laugh. Because her friend next to her was quite literally having a mental breakdown.

But still, she decided to peek at where the three males were sitting near the back of the shop while waiting for Feyre to collect her thoughts, and it became harder to suppress that smile.

There, she found the two little boys gesturing wildly with their hands, their faces covered with the ice cream, and Eris laughed, a quiet joy in his face. He reached out to wipe a little bit of ice cream from Nyx's face, nodding to something the younger boy said.

Then, as if feeling her gaze on him, he looked up.

The world ceased to exist around Y/n as she met his eyes. The sounds or people around her didn't matter, for some reason.

Eris was as still as the wall behind him, and he barely seemed to breathe.

But then Y/n felt a touch on her hand, and she jolted, looking away from Eris as the outside world came back into focus.

Her cheeks burned as she met the watery eyes of Feyre.

"Are you listening?" Feyre sniffed.

Y/n's eyes widened. "Oh. I am so sorry. I zoned out. Can you repeat what you said?"

She sniffed again. "I- I don't know if I can leave him..."

Y/n stiffened. "Why not?"

Feyre's eyes floated towards the back, where Nyx was sat with Fin and Eris. "He... he needs his father."

"He needs no one other than you Feyre. You are his mother."

She nodded slightly, her eyes not once straying from her son. "I know... but he knows who his father is, unlike Fin. He will question me about why we are leaving his papa. I don't think I'll be able to leave Rhys. He is the one that pays me, and despite having my own money... I'm not sure I can use my money outside of night court. Where will I go?"

Y/n's heart clenched at the sheer pain etched across the high lady of night court. "Feyre... you can come with us." Y/n offered. "Fin and I will obviously live all alone. You can live with us."

Feyre shook her head ruefully. "I can't leave him Y/n, especially not on such a short notice."

Y/n heaved a frustrated breath. "Feyre. Think about Nyx. If Rhysand was ready to throw you and Nyx away for an unclear future with a son he barely knew, them I'm really concerned for Nyx. You never know when Rhys decided he's done with you and kicks you out. His mental state is not the best at the moment."

A tear slipped out of Feyre's eyes, and she dropped her head into her hands. "I don't know what to do." She said, her voice muffled.

Y/n felt like she had somehow caused Feyre this pain, and she felt the need to take away that pain. And so she relented, stopped pestering Feyre to leave Rhys.

"Look Feyre, you are Nyx's mother. You know what's best for him. If you need time, then take some time. Think about this if you want. But leave him Feyre. He does not deserve you or Nyx. Also, if you're worried about funds..."

Y/n could not offer to take up the high lady's expenses, because it was hard enough earning and spending for her own son. She didn't have the resources to help another person. But she also could not leave her friend and, essentially, her son's brother, here.

"If you are worried about the funds, then I am sure we can figure something out. We can take up jobs, or maybe we can sell your paintings."

Feyre met Y/n's eyes, tears shining in them.

"I need time." She stated simply. She sniffed once, pulling out a piece of cloth from her bag and wiping her face on it as she stood. Y/n watched Feyre helplessly, knowing she didn't have much time because the sun was beginning to set and Eris had to get out of night court soon.

Y/n stood as well, her hand snapping out to catch Feyre's.

"I can't force you to come with us but... I beg you Feyre. Think about this. And when you are ready, write to me. I will ask Eris to make arrangements for your safe travel to autumn court."

Feyre just nodded, blinking away a fresh wave of tears as she brought Y/n into a quick hug, then walked away, calling out to Nyx. The little boy turned to his mom with a small pout on his face, but then whatever he saw on her face had him bidding Fin and Eris goodbye.

He waddled over to his mother, waving to Y/n as he reached up to clutch Feyre's hand in his tinier one.

Y/n watched the two of them go, despair brewing in her stomach.

"It's time."

She glanced at Eris, who smiled sadly at her.

Y/n nodded, turnng back to catch a glimpse of her fried and her son.

But they were gone.

•○🌑○•

Part 9

Taglist: @holb32 @awoa1 @cleverzonkwombatsludge @luvmoo @we-were-beautiful @eerievixen @zoe2 @fussel9913 @j-pendragonx @thesnugglingduck @jesssicapaniagua @devilsnightz @esposadomd @littleffawn @mandowhatnow @bubybubsters @eos-princess @nightless @bigcreatorwombatdreamer @princesslolaasworld @asemkta @cat-or-kitten @txzii @bunnyredgirl @theofficialmadman @leeknows-wife @aria-chikage @amygdtjhddzvb @azriels-mate123 @inky-clover @kemillyfreitas @12358 @justdreamstars @cuethedepession @princessvesta @fides25 @nocasdatsgay @acourtofbatboydreams @stained-glass-eyes0708 @glaciuswduo @wallacewillow0773638 @cassie6392

#eris x reader #eris vanserra x reader #eris vanserra #eris acotar #a court of thorns and roses #acotar fandom #acotar fanfic #acotar fluff #acotar series #acotar writing #acomaf #a court of mist and fury #acowar #acosf #a court of silver flames #acotar #mating bond #sarah j maas #acotar headcanon #pro eris vanserra

[burst-of-iridescent]

Hi! Just a quick message to say that I love your analysis on Katara and Zuko and their dynamics with each other. I personally love how you place the emphasis on them having their journey towards growth together, but an individual one as well. I've only started watching AtlA two years ago, but reading your remarks during my second rewatch of the show made me appreciate the nuances of their relationship and arc more <3 I was just wondering, because you've made some good Zutara fic recs in the past, which Zutara long fic would you absolutely recommend? Thank you so much!

aww, thank you so much! i haven't read long zutara fics in quite some time actually but off the top of my head here are my favs:

the color of the stars by bluenebulae: yes i know i've recommended this fic a hundred times already but i will continue to do so bc it's SO GOOD. this is a book 3 canon divergence where zutara get captured together on DoBS and need to find their way back to the gaang together and it is just everything.

tempest in a teacup by akaVertigo: if you've been around in zutara fandom for a while, you probably already know this fic but i couldn't not include it. this is an au where katara ends up in the fire nation as a child after her mother's death and she and zuko grow up together. fire nation katara AUs do make me a little suspicious because they can easily be done wrong, but this one does it right and the writing is absolutely stunning so trust me when i say you won't be let down.

zuko's tiny dilemma by boogum: book 1 au where zuko is accidentally turned into a 6 year old (with his 16 year old consciousness) and the gaang ends up having to take care of him. i know that sounds like a weird set-up for romantic zutara but i promise nothing gross happens. it's actually a very funny, sweet and wholesome fic so i strongly encourage that you give it a chance!

the worst prisoner by emletishfish: book 1 au where sokka accidentally kidnaps zuko during the events of the blue spirit, and shenanigans and zutara ensue. this is the funniest zutara fic i have ever read AND there are two more installments in the series so you will be good to go for a long time.

(i couldn't find this fic in my bookmarks at first because my browser logged me out of ao3 and i nearly had a breakdown thinking it was gone forever and texted my friends in full panic mode, so that should tell you how much i adore it.)

once around the sun by eleventy7: i would be deeply remiss in offering fic recommendations if i didn't mention one of the most goated zutara fics of all time. i'll warn you now that though this fic has a happy ending, you should absolutely check the tags or you will be stabbed in the heart halfway through just like i was. the pain is definitely worth it, though.

i hope you enjoy reading these! <3

#zutara #zutara fanfiction #zutara fic recommendations #zutara asks

[look-at-the-soul]

Love takes two- Part 2

Emmett x reader(Cillian Murphy’s role A quiet place 2)

Part 1

And with this part, this series is complete ✨ until next time my sweet Emmett 🥹

Edit: ⚠️ smut 🔥

Request from lovely anon 🥰 - I decided to mix two different requests for this story (one for each part) because it felt so fitting to Emmett’s background or what at least I imagine it is…anon sorry it took me a while (I always say this I’m slow but I will definitely write it), I hope you like this I really appreciate your beautiful idea and here it is finally 👏🏻

“Are you alright?” Alex asked, but Emmett wasn’t listening, his hands clasped together covering his mouth as if he was trying to prevent himself from saying something he would regret. “Emmett?”

“I made a mistake, right?”

Alex sighed, under different circumstances she would’ve teased him endlessly. But after watching the pain in his eyes, she decided to wave the white flag.

“We’ve never been close or crossed more than a few words, but if you took a closer look, you’d realize a lot of things.” Alex explained, deciding it wasn’t her place to speak on her friend’s behalf. “I can only suggest wait for her and have a long chat.”

She then explained Emmett she needed to go away.

Time was irrelevant at this point, five minutes felt the same as an hour, Emmett was having an internal battle. Should he keep his mouth shut and allow you to be happy with someone else while he stepped aside, or should he express his feelings towards you? Deflated he decided to wait for you sitting on the steps, his forearms hanging over his thighs while his gaze was fixed on the ground… afraid of losing his only chance to be happy.

Terrified of losing you.

To your own surprise, you realized Mark had a joke to everything and a wicked sense of humor. But a date in this new life consisted of handmade sandwiches in a basket and a walk down the beach, resources and options were kind of limited.

“You’re kind of quiet.” He pointed out after a while.

You looked away from him, realizing no matter how much you tried, your mind couldn’t stop comparing him to Emmett, the way his eyes weren’t that blue or his smile didn’t give you butterflies and of course his laugh didn’t make your heart skip a beat.

Staring into the waves crashing down you couldn’t stop the words from coming out.

“I’m sorry Mark, but it’s not fair to you… even if it doesn’t work out I can’t do this to you.” Giving him an apologetic look, you stood up and started to walk away.

Mark would have been a terrific date and partner, he didn’t have a single bad thing to point out to be honest, that’s why it felt harder. Considering the little options that were left after the invasion, rejecting Mark was letting go of probably the only decent chance you had to start all over. But that’s what you get for falling in love with the one who doesn’t love you back.

Why did Emmett had to get under your skin the way he did?

Trying to clear your head, you shook it. Stopping by the deck and a little voice inside your head scolded you for going to the exact place where Emmett held you while you had an embarrassing breakdown, but he didn’t seem to mind, he only wrapped an arm around your back while his finger stroked your shoulder softly. That night he didn’t just showed you his kind heart but that he was able to make you smile afterwards. After that night it was so easy to trust him completely, you simply loved being around him, everything was easy; he was a practical man, he always had a solution for everything, sharp mind. But you also noticed over time how he slowly started trusting you back, you noticed his guard fell down when you were together.

Taking off your shoes, you allowed your feet to touch the cold water in an attempt to distract your busy mind.

How would you be able to continue being his friend while being in love with him?

“Ugh I’m so stupid.” You groaned to yourself bringing your hands to cover your face in frustration.

Your alone time lasted longer than the actual date to be honest, and after hosting the internal battle between your heart and your mind, you felt wore down so you didn’t make a huge effort to go back home.

But to your surprise you were shocked to find Emmett sitting on the porch.

“Where the hell have you been?” He asked in a harsh tone, making you take a step back.

“Somewhere that’s non of your business.” You replied with the same anger. Confused by his attitude.

“Of course it’s my fucking business, this isn’t a safe place you don’t know people’s intentions, not everyone you meet is good.”

“I’m old enough to look after myself, thank you.” Your hands moved frantically. “I’d like to be alone if you don’t mind.”

“Alone or with Mark?” Emmett pressed with a scoff.

Crossing your arms your answer came out in an annoyed tone. “That’s non of your business.”

“Oh, sorry for bothering you for once!” He spat and noticed the necklace he gave you at your belated birthday celebration, it was resting against your collarbone. “It’s not my fault you’re in a bad mood.”

“Like you even really care.” You shook your head.

“Really? After bringing you here and saving your life?”

“Oh yes, thank you Emmett.” You answered him with sarcasm.

“You should go back into your house.”

“Are you gonna be the guard tonight? In case I want to sneak out?” Your annoyance grew by the minute.

“You know what? That’s actually a great idea, to keep the pricks away.”

“Who do you think you are Emmett?” You couldn’t believe his words. “Why do you even care?”

“Why do I-“ He started to pace around the deck. “You can’t just go with someone by yourself, you should’ve known better.”

“Excuse me?” You gave him a shocked look.

“You barely know that guy, that puts you in a risky situation.” He shook his head, but his energy softened a bit. “You trust too much, Y/N.”

“Are you even listening to yourself?” Hands on your hips, you leaned forward. “I don’t owe you an explanation for what I do with whoever I want.”

That seemed to trigger the anger in him, imagining you being touched by another man, another man’s lips on yours and your body. Emmett felt his blood like boiling.

He completely lost it there.

“Over my dead body.”

Feeling more confused and tired than ever, you sighed. Debating whether to ask him or not again why he cared so much, but his next move took you by surprise when he grabbed your face between his strong hands, one at each side of your face and his lips found yours with such force that it took your breath away. He didn’t even gave you time to react, or move, much less to process what was happening.

“You silly little thing… you don’t understand a thing, do you?” Emmett asked you once he pulled apart, his salt and pepper beard scrapped your chin.

Your brain felt completely groggy, like you had been under the water for the last three minutes and you were running out of oxygen. Words were stuck in your lips as this was the first time you were able to see his ocean eyes from such a short distance, you felt like you would swim away in the depths of them until you could see the spot where the ocean meets the sky…

“I’m sorry… fuck I knew this was a mistake.” He totally misunderstood your silence and got the wrong impression.

There was a tingling sensation left of your lips.

Defeated once again, his head hanging down from the embarrassment. Emmett turned around and was about to come down the steps when you recovered from the shock and grabbed him by the shoulders to make him face you again.

This time around, it was him who didn’t get the chance to react before your lips crashed his down. Your hands keeping him close from the nape of his shirt. It took him a few seconds to register what was happening, but once he did, he kissed you back with everything he had.

His lips moved against yours hard, demanding, roughly, hands trying to get the other one closer -as if it was even possible- a slow but evident growl emanated from his chest as your teeth pressed his lower lip slightly, a pair of strong hands circled your waist in a tight lock to prevent you from pulling apart.

“What are we doing?” You whispered separating barely from his mouth.

“Kissing.” Emmett answered as if it wasn’t obvious.

His sarcastic but accurate answer made you snort. “I know silly, but I mean…”

Now that he had tasted your lips, that he felt your sweet, warmth body against his he didn’t want to waste a minute so he started kissing you all over again, the only difference is that this time he took it slowly, letting the minutes go by. Tilting his head bumping his nose against yours in the process, one of his hands came up to tangle in your curls to keep you in place.

Giving into the kiss and his touch completely, you let him set the pace, enjoying how his lips moved softly, tentatively, your hand moved from his shoulder up to his neck, and then a bit up, taking in the feeling of how soft his beard was. Pulling apart to take a deep breath, his eyes found your full lips.

“After learning you went out with someone else I lost it, Y/N… went crazy thinking I lost my only shot with you.”

Taking the fringe that was in the middle of his forehead you brushed it away from his face in a delicate motion, feeling his breath fanning over your skin.

“I went out with Mark because I thought you could only see me as your friend, but after a few minutes talking I realized it was a waste of time… because he wasn’t you.” You confessed with your arm still linked behind his neck.

He stared down at you, not fully believing what he just heard.

“All this time, I’ve been trying to disguise it thinking how unreal this would be.”

“You never let anything slip away.”

“It’s called secret feelings for a reason.” He rolled his eyes, making you giggle. “I thought I wouldn’t stand a chance because you’re younger than me.”

“And here I had been thinking to do a cartwheel to get your attention.” You stole a small peck. “Sorry for how I reacted, I was angry with myself.”

“That wasn’t very friendly… I thought I was he grumpy one.” He tried to lighten the mood. “Thought the date would go great.” Emmett’s lighted up when you pulled him down for another kiss, apologizing as well for the angry welcome he gave you.

“That made it worse actually, I kept thinking about you.”

“I was so fucking jealous.”

His statement made you feel butterflies not only in your stomach, they were all over your body.

“I really liked when you kissed me like that the first time, all bossy.” You admitted biting your lips.

Emmett blushed, surprised by his own visceral reaction. It was so unlike him, made him feel like he was desperate.

“Emmett, I really like you.” You decided to confess.

“There’s no point in trying to deny the attraction I feel about you, Y/N.” Was this really happening?

“If I’ve learned something after the invasion is time is a precious thing we shouldn’t take for granted, so…” standing up on your toes, you kissed him softly, feeling a rush of heat expanding by your body thanks to his tender touch, you stepped closer into his embrace, feeling the evident bulge pressing against his jeans. Moving your hips slightly back and forward you felt him groan against your lips.

Emmett drummed his fingers on your hips, giving you the cue to wrap your legs around his waist. Once you opened the door, he kicked it making it bang against the wall, the sound made you gasp at first, then giggle and this time, you were cautious enough to close it softly.

“Where’s your bedroom?” He mumbled against your mouth.

“Upstairs to the right.” You tried to wriggle to get down, but his hands held you right in place. “Are you sure you can -?”

“Of course I can, what makes you think the opposite?” He cocked an eyebrow.

“Well… no offense but earlier you said you were worried for being older than me.”

“Shut up.” He stated and showed you how he didn’t even flinch carrying you upstairs, your weight or his age wasn’t the problem. The real problem were your lips on his neck while he tried to walk.

So far you had only managed to unbutton half his shirt, the rest was trapped between his body and your legs. Dropping you gently on the bed, he towered over your frame, undoing the rest of the buttons.

Taking the hem of your dress, you threw it to the floor, right next to his shirt.

“Been dreaming about this moment for so long.” Emmett admitted, allowing his eyes devour your frame.

Smiling by the way he looked at you, the desire you found in his eyes made your entire body tingle from the anticipation. Kneeling on the bed you moved to the edge to take Emmett by the neck and start kissing him once more.

“Tell me what you dreamed about.” You felt the skin of your legs like burning under his touch as his fingers trailed a path up and down. Fumbling with the belt, you sighed contently as his lips kissed your chin, moving along your neck.

“Move over to the center of the bed.” He instructed wrapping an around around your waist to help you. The bulge restrained in his briefs brushed against your hip as he hovered over you, his fingers moving dangerously up stopping at the feeling of the fabric of your bra. “I wondered how would you look…” he started spreading kisses on your shoulder, “how would you feel,” taking your hands, he brought your fingers up to his mouth, his free hand tracing a pattern on your hip, “how would you moan my name.” He was so lost in her, nothing prepared him for this moment, nothing could compare to this feeling.

“I wasn’t prepared with anything fancy.” You whispered explaining why you were wearing the most boring underwear and loved the way small wrinkles appeared around his eyes.

“This is perfect… you’re.” Emmett admitted before settling between your legs. “But let me make it up for the boring expectations.” Leaning back on his calves, he pulled you with him, his blue eyes penetrating every single layer of your body and soul, as his lips explored your neck and collarbone, his hands got rid of your bra, while your hands moved across his back, feeling every muscle under your touch.

“Emmett.” You called him in a low voice, pleading as his fingers teased your nipples, his mouth only adding more pleasure.

But he was only warming up, pushing you down into the mattress again his teasing growing by the minute as he licked the bud in his mouth and the flesh around, not forgetting about the other one as he covered your breast with his palm. Your fingers moved up to tangle in his locks.

“Mind if I take these off?” He asked out of breath as his hand fanned over the elastic of your underwear, his hand then moved to cup your core with his palm making you moan at the sudden contact, the pressure felt delicious and your body’s reaction was now beyond your control. “Have to keep it down unless you want the fucking creatures to hear you, Y/N.” Emmett teased you by tapping his fingers against your still covered clit.

Hips bucking to get more friction, you had to bite your lips to suppress a louder moan, recovering from the unexpected pleasure, you ended up kicking the piece of fabric. But he recently discovered a new hobby by teasing you in bed, and he was planning to take his time with you. So he started kissing your flesh from the valley of your breasts, stopping a ridiculous amount of time on your stomach, every minute passing his beard scrapped dangerously south.

“Emmett please.” You felt him smiling against the inside of your thigh, finding a moment later a mischievous look in his eyes as your eyes locked.

You lost it completely the moment his tongue came in contact with your entrance and traveled up over your folds, finishing at your clit. Clamping your eyes shut, you couldn’t stop the pleasure from expanding through your body. Your hands grabbing the sheets into fits to try to contain the fireworks going off in your core.

Emmett took a moment to take in your features contorting, lips parted while your hair was scattered all over the pillow.

Grazing two fingers over your folds, he found your wet entrance, immediately welcoming his middle finger, in and out, slowly as your walls tried to suck him in. You thought you wouldn’t be able to accept a second finger but the thought quickly disappeared from your mind as he added his mouth to the sensual attack.

“Please… oh! Emmett…” Your hips jerked and just as you thought you would come undone any second, he withdrew his fingers. Leaving you clenching around emptiness.

You wanted to beg him at that point, needed him fill you once more. But as soon as his eyes locked with yours, you knew you didn’t have to ask for anything, as he was willing to give you all. Positioning himself at your entrance, you gasped at the feeling of the tip of his cock.

Leaning down he kissed you slowly, loving the way you were holding his face.

“A part of me is totally embarrassed because I think you’ll wake the entire island up and the other part just feels extremely proud of it.” He chuckled against your neck, feeling how fast your heart was beating.

“Shut up, Emmett.” You shook your head feeling your cheeks burning.

Pushing his hips forwards, it was his time to moan at the feeling of your walls fluttering around him. This was much better than any of the times he dreamed about it. After giving you a few seconds to adjust, he started moving rolling his hips, all the way in, pressing the magic button every time he bottomed out. Over and over with one of your legs wrapped around his lower back, making you feel how surreal all of this was.

Pushing he fringe out of his eyes, you hung to him like a life jacket.

“Cum with me, Emmett.” You wanted to see his features as ecstasy exploded inside of him.

Moving your fingers to reach for the point where your bodies were connected, he swallowed your moan, feeling how your body was shaking from the intensity. He exploded mere seconds before you, his load shot into you as his body stilled and it was beyond his control now. Kissing his shoulder you saw him trying to regain his strength to prevent his weight from crushing you down, your fingers tracing over the tattoo on his arm.

“You knocked me down.” Lying down next to you, he was trying to recover, pulling you closer to rest on his shoulder.

Emmett touched the pendant he gave you, his thumb rubbing the edges absently, his mind trying to comprehend the unexpected turn this took.

“It was so hard to keep this feeling bottled inside because we see each other daily… How could you keep this from me?” You asked softly, without a single hint of reproach in your voice.

“I was scared of losing you if you didn’t feel the same.” He explained while you studied his profile. “Your happiness was contagious, it was impossible not to fall for you.”

“That’s funny cos I felt the same, thought you wouldn’t look at me as a woman.” Your hand found comfort on his chest, moving to the rhythm of his breathing.

Emmett ‘s chuckle came out genuinely.

“Chances were low for me with so many young candidates around.” He laughed of himself, it was the best he could do to try to feel a bit less bad about his age.

“Experience won if you want some validation.” You teased leaning on your elbow to give him another kiss. “I hope your batteries are full again.”

Pushing him onto his back, you straddled Emmett, his eyes showed the transition from the initial surprise to the desire he felt. Your hands running up and down his chest, loving the way his thick beard felt against your skin… his lips answering to your demands in the same way.

The freedom of finally admitting your feelings towards each others made everything easier, made things fall into the right place.

The realization of being reciprocated about the secret love you have been developing as you became one again made the two of you accept that no matter what’s happened in your past, the only thing that mattered is that love takes two.

***

Thank you for reading! ♥️ If you enjoyed this little story, remember your feedback it’s the best tip I could get🫙 ✨

Tag list: @lyarr24 @lespendy @elenavampire21 @sloanexx @imichelle-l-rigby @esposadomd @winchestergirl22 @forgottenpeakywriter @forbidden-forest-witch @allie131313 @lovecleastrange @stevie75 @elenavampire21 @onlydeadcells @zablife @cillmequick @raincoffeeandfandoms @nyxxxz (can’t tag) @peakyscillian @camilleholland89 @thenattitude @kittycatcait219 @sherlcrown (can’t tag) @cillianmxrphy @kmc1989 @adaydreamaway08 @darleneslane @shaddixlife @shelbydelrey @tiredkitten @nela-cutie

#That’s what Cill said #cillian murphy #emmett a quiet place #emmett aqpii #emmett aqpii imagine #emmett aqp2 smut #emmett aqp2 fanfic #emmett a quiet place 2 #emmettaqpii #cillian murphy fanfic #cillian murphy x y/n #cillian murphy x reader #cillian murphy imagine #cillian murphy smut

[writersblog20]

Not how it works

Pedro Pascal x reader

Summary: When your uncle dies on your birthday and shit hits the van with family. Pedro jumps in moments of crisis.

Warnings: TRAUMA bestie, trauma, losing a loved one, death of a loved one, hospitals, mention of dissociating, TOXIC family, getting kicked out of the family, breakdowns, not being able to say goodbye, abandonment, neglect (this whole stories is full with pain so please read with caution if you’re vulnerable for this. You’re not alone)

A/n: So this is extremely personal and very specific. I need to write this off of me so I can deal with the trauma. This is probably going to have a part 2 because this bullshit isn’t over. everything that is the backstory for this story has happened this week. I’v lost my uncle, can’t say goodbyes, been kicked out of the family because of one piece of shit ‘aunt’, who tries to break the whole family. Please read the warnings. This isn’t for everyone

Not how it works

You were currently chilling with Pedro at your house. He stayed with you for a couple of weeks for shooting and stuff. You worked on the production team and became close friends with Pedro. This wasn’t the first time working together but this project made you grow closer to each other than ever. You were watching a movie until your phone went off. It was your mom and you picked up. “Hi mom” you greeted “Hi dear, uhm I don’t have great news. Your uncle Jo is in the hospital… he’s not doing great. We have to go to say goodbye to him.” you stared in front of you, trying to process it. Pedro noticed the sudden change in energy and paused the tv. “Okay…. I’ll get changed. What time are you here?” you asked her and stood up.

“Ehm… it’s only for the brothers, sisters and children….” She told you and your disbelieve grew. “So… I can’t go?” your voice broke slowly and Pedro looked with concern at you. “No, I’m sorry. But I’ll come when we’re done.” She told you and you sat down back defeated. Anxiety, worry swirled through your stomach, making you almost physically sick. “okay.” Your voice broke down completely and you hang up. you were waiting for a reality check right now and tried to comprehend it.

“Sweetheart? What’s going on?” Pedro’s voice ever so gentle and laced with worry as he sat closer to you, rubbing your back softly. “My uncle… he’s going to die… he’s in the hospital.” You told him. “Okay, so let’s go than!” Pedro told you and stood up, holding out his hand for you. You just looked at him, eyes started to water up, making you feel defeated. “I’m not allowed… I can’t go.” Your voice broke and Pedro looked with disbelieve at you. “Are you serious right now?” Pedro didn’t understood and to be honest, neither did you. The tears started to slip and you started to sob. Pedro immediately sat down and pulled you into a tight hug.

He knew about your family and how you always felt left out. With the death of your godfather, you weren’t allowed into the church or whatever. They made you stand outside, all  alone and in the cold, which was extremely traumatic and it was all because one piece of shit of a ‘lady’. You were still struggling with that to this day and this brought you back to that point, where you were, once again, all alone. You were a wreck right now and Pedro’s shirt was wet from all the crying.  You were in for a rollercoaster and Pedro and you knew it.  

You held contact with your mom but you couldn’t contact her anymore, feeling even more left out. Finally after 7 hours, you heard from her. She called you to ask you if it was okay if she was going home or not. You couldn’t believe it. “No. I rather want to see you. I’ve been waiting all day.” You said with tears in your eyes. Pedro was softly rubbing your back, sympathy and pain written over his face. The way he saw you, broke his heart into pieces and how they already treated you.

In ten minutes your mom arrived at your home. You both sat there in silence. “We had to eat together with everyone… and your niece was there as well and nephews.” You felt your blood boil. “So they could but I couldn’t??” you started to get mad as the tears slipped down your cheeks. Pedro heard everything from the kitchen, where he stood so he gave you both some privacy but could still hear and see you. “Y/N, They had to be!” You shook your head and let out a frustrated chuckle. “Oh okey, so they could all say goodbye. Everyone except for me! And what about dinner Huh? I’ve been waiting here all goddamn day! The whole FUCKING day for what? I didn’t hear from anyone because you were all together and I HAD to stay home! I couldn’t even say goodbye!” you were furious to say the least. “I would’ve really fucking appreciated if someone asked me: ‘hey, I know you’re at home, would you like to have at least dinner? So we’re all together? But no, no one asked me because they don’t care!”

“They do!” she told you. “Oh really?” you didn’t believe anything she was saying right now. “You want to go to the hospital than? You want to say goodbye?” she asked you and you were absolutely flabbergasted as you got into a fight with your mom. “Yes, of course I want to say goodbye!” She nodded and clenched her jaw. “Then get dressed.” You looked surprised at her. “You said I wasn’t allowed….” You couldn’t believe it and it fueled your anger. “You are now.” you shook your head, not understanding that, now you could but not before when there were even people who weren’t allowed in. And they didn’t even think of calling you. No, they left you with all the question, didn’t respond, left you out as usual.

You stormed passed Pedro, tears streaming down your face as you walked up stairs. “Be quick.” Your mom called after you. Pedro looked at your mom and quickly went after you. You were sobbing while gathering your stuff. Pedro had a sympathetic look on his face, which became almost permanently now. “Can you please come with me?” Pedro looked at you with a soft gentle look and nodded. He walked up to you and pulled you into a hug. “Don’t worry, I won’t ever leave you alone. Do you understand that? I’m not going anywhere baby girl.” He told you as he looked straight into your eyes and cupped your cheeks. He only called you baby girl when life got super rough and you needed gentleness in your life.

You nodded, tears still streaming but now because of the warmth and love radiating from Pedro. (The love and warmth you needed so bad in your life.) You were ready and all got into the car. Pedro held your hand the entire way. It was late at night and the hospital was almost empty. You felt a pit in your stomach as you stood in the elevator. You searched for Pedro’s hand and held it. Your family didn’t know that you knew Pedro, let alone be so close. The elevator opened and you stepped out, seeing your uncle, some other aunts and uncles that you didn’t know and some you did. You greeted them as you usually did and your mom took you to the room he laid in.

Pedro waited for you in the ‘family room’. You walked into the room of your uncle and he was everything except peaceful. He couldn’t communicate and was very agitated and was fighting his own death which broke your heart even more. You saw your grandma comforting your uncle. It broke your heart to see. Your grandma already lost one of her sons (your godfather) and not even 2,5 years later, her other son. Comforting him to his own death.

You sat there for a good hour and a half before coming back to the family room. Pedro was awaiting your reaction but you were so extremely closed off that he was unable to read you, so he figured the worst because you would never close him off. You gave your family a hug and left, making your way to the elevator.  You were all silent and Pedro gave you the space you needed, never pushing you for answers but waiting until you were ready to talk about it. But Pedro noticed when you wanted affection as in, cuddles, holding your hand or your back, it didn’t really matter, you just wanted some physical contact. So that’s how he noticed that you were very much in need for some comfort, so he went with the back of his fingers over the back of your hand, making you grab his hand as you walked out of the elevator.

You walked to the car and it didn’t took long to arrive home. “He won’t make the night.” You commented, making your mother nod as you stood inside of your house. She gave you a hug and left, leaving you alone with Pedro. You poured a glass of wine in for yourself and looked at Pedro, if he wanted some. He was leaning against the kitchen counter as the clock ticked 1 AM. He nodded and gave you a sympathetic smile. You poured some in for him, got your joint and you jumped on the kitchen counter, lighting the joint and took a big puff.

You were both silent and Pedro stood next to you, not really knowing what to say or do. “are you…. okay?” he asked carefully and soft. Your eyes started watering and you tried to push away the overwhelming feeling of sadness and defeat. Even though how hard you tried, the tears started to slip. Pedro put his glass of wine away and put his arms around you for a hug. You were still sitting on the kitchen counter but the only person who was allowed in your bubble was Pedro. There was a safety, comforting and reassuring energy from him and you trusted him with your life. You started to sob, hiding your face in the crook of his neck. After an hour of crying and a bad headache, the weed finally kicked in, making you calm down a bit.

Pedro slept with you that night. Comforting where he could and giving you all the cuddles, making sure that you didn’t feel alone and that you felt loved.

The passing days, you’ve gone to the hospital. Your mother had a moment of communication with him and could say her goodbyes. You stood there, looking and unable to actually say goodbye. The next day, when you got ready for the hospital, they told you that you weren’t welcome anymore. It broke your heart but they said his children wanted to be with him, which you could understand. Until you heard and saw pictures that nieces and cousins were there.

On Thursday, it was your birthday and let’s just say, you were NOT in the mood. You walked downstairs, feeling heavy and it got rougher with the day. Pedro was already awake and was making you a birthday breakfast. He saw you walk down the stairs and gave you a soft smile, pulling you into a hug. “I know you’re not really in a festive mood but I still want to make you feel special sweetheart. Happy birthday baby girl.” He told you and you held onto him tighter. “Thank you Pepsi. I appreciate it.” He gave you a kiss on your forehead. You ate breakfast together and before you wanted to open your presents from Pedro, you got a call from your mom. You spoke to her before and she whished you a happy birthday so you knew that this call was going to be THE call.

“Hey sweetie…. There’s no easy way to say this but your uncle has passed away. I’m on my way so we can go to family okay?” you were silent and you felt completely empty. “Okay..” you whispered out and hang up. You stared at Pedro, still feeling empty and you felt confused because of that. So many feeling swirled to your body and you couldn’t identify them, leaving you feeling empty and confused. “He’s gone.” You whispered out and Pedro teared up, seeing you like this.

He stood up, placing his hands on your arms, making you stand up. He pulled you into a hug. “I’m so, so sorry… I’m here for you. I won’t leave you. You don’t have to do this alone baby girl. I’ll be with you.” you nodded, still feeling empty and weird.

Your mom and her boyfriend arrived at your house, whished you a happy birthday and their condolences at the same time. Friends of yours did the same thing. From going to happy birthday to my condolences, was horrible and confusing. You got in the car and held Pedro’s hand the entire ride to your grandma’s house and picking up your uncle on the way. You were scared that the same thing would happen here as it did with your godfather. (leaving you outside, unable to say your goodbyes, not allowed in the church because of COVID. But everyone knew better. She wanted you out of the family, a so called aunt of yours who wasn’t even in the goddamn family. She was married to your uncle so as a matter of fact, she had no right in any way, shape or form to put you away.)

Pedro knew what had happened with your godfather and how you despise her. It was trauma where you still haven’t really healed from. You told him there was a lot of tension in the family. Like A LOT. That so called aunt of yours, treated on of your uncles horrible. He had to do everything for everyone for free when he was still recovering from getting a new hip. And she even told him that he should be grateful that he could eat with them. She is one of the most evil person you’ve met. So, you knew that there was at least something going to happen. And that there would be a big bomb of confrontation, tension and drama, falling in one of these days.

You got out of the car and greeted the people in the house but something was off. You couldn’t put your finger on it, but something was going to happen. Your other aunt was behaving weird towards you. Not really looking at you when you tried to talk to her and sometimes staring at you when you were doing nothing and it caught not only your attention but Pedro’s as well, who sat next to you. You felt a distance between you and some ‘family members’.

One of your uncles came in, who you disliked as well cause he stood next to that piece of shit aunt and was one of the ‘leaders’ when your godfather died. So he was also to blame for how they treated you.

It was now 7 in the evening and you still hadn’t eaten yet, but they told you that Maria (THAT aunt) was making dinner. It was a part of the culture to eat together when there was a loss in the family. It wasn’t even up for discussion because you HAD to. So it was weird that you still hadn’t eaten yet but maybe after seeing your uncle who had passed, you would eat.

That uncle spoke up. “This is a sad day. I just want to make clear that what’s going to happen, are the whishes from the family and not my decision…” he looked at you and your mom, making you frown a bit. You felt a pit in your stomach as flashbacks from your godfather came to mind, scared that history was going to repeat itself. “After seeing him, we want you all to go home. We have long and tiring days ahead.” He finished his sentence, looking at you and your mom once again. Everyone stood up and his wife was looking sympathetic at you, making you even more suspicious. You looked at your mom and Pedro, hoping that they noticed it too. Your mom was too busy talking with that uncle so you looked at Pedro, who seemed to noticed it as well. “I’m with you, remember?” he softly told you, making you nod.

You all got in the car, your mom was driving, her boyfriend next to her, the uncle you picked up in the backseat and Pedro next to you. You were the second to arrive at the place they put your uncle in. Your godmother, another aunt and her daughters first as you waited. You couldn’t see him from where you were standing so you waited for your turn. Everyone followed behind you, there were at least 25 family members behind you. The kids of your uncle walked in and one of your aunts (his daughter that hugged you in the hospital) walked straight up to you and your mom. “I appreciate you coming here, but you’re not welcome. I need you to leave, you’re getting too close and I can’t deal with it.” you felt a brick hitting you, knocking out the air from your lungs. Tears started to water and your heart was pounding. Everyone was surprised and Pedro looked shocked.

You were the first to turn around and walk out of the building, almost knocking over that piece of shit of your uncle, over as you picked up your pace. You’re breathing started to become uneven while you sobbed, trying to catch some air. Everything was spinning around you. You heard someone call your name but you didn’t care anymore. The humiliation you felt and not being able to wrap your head around it. Why did she want you gone when you’ve done absolutely nothing wrong and when she hugged you in the hospital. You didn’t understand until it clicked where it came from. THAT aunt…. She was sleeping there and she wanted you gone from the minute you were in the family. They were vulnerable and she abused that vulnerability so she could push you and your mom out by manipulation.

You looked up in the sky for a minute, trying to get out of the panic attack, gasping for air. You felt hands on your arm, as the person tried to turn you around while you gasped for air. It was Pedro, worry extremely visible on his face. His heart broke into a million pieces, seeing you like this. You tried to push him away. The pain you felt in this moment was out of this world. You couldn’t handle it but Pedro didn’t budge. He knew you were in survival mode from this traumatic event.

“Hey, it’s me. It’s me, look at me.”  Pedro begged as he cupped your cheeks. “Breath for me baby girl, breath.” He begged and you sobbed uncontrollably. Pedro pulled you into a tight hug. You saw over his shoulder, your mom and her boyfriend talking to your (good) aunt and your other uncle (that you picked up) walked out, extremely mad and pointed at the car to go in. You were ready to leave this hell place right now. You got out of the hug and into the car. You were completely dissociating right now.

Your uncle extremely mad as he got in the car. “Bring me to the station. I’m leaving. This isn’t over yet, I promise you that! Nobody touches my family. Nobody touches Y/N. NEVER. Don’t you worry, this isn’t over.” He told you but it was over for you. you got kicked out by half of the family because one person dislikes you for no reason. The other half, was standing up for you but there was no way you would go back.

You stared out of the window, trying hard not to make a sound from crying. Pedro had his arm around you, holding you tightly to his side, never looking away from you. His hand cradled your head and carefully pulled you into him so you could hide in his neck. You arrived at the train station and you all got out of the car and hugged your uncle. He cupped your cheeks “Listen to me. You are my family. Fuck them. This isn’t over. You keep being strong okay sweetheart?” You nodded, tears streaming out over his hand and he gave you a kiss on your forehead before leaving.

You sat in the car again, everyone was silent. Even when you arrived home, you couldn’t comprehend what had happened. You were dissociating very hard and had a blank expression. Your mom was talking to her boyfriend while Pedro stayed next to you, never leaving your side or leaving you out of his sight.

You were going from crying to thinking everything over to feeling blank to hate. It was a whole damn rollercoaster. Your mom picked up some groceries for dinner but you weren’t hungry. You were all drinking wine that your mom got until she got a call from that aunt. She picked up and they told you that they had to go back and eat at grandma’s house. “So they even fucking lied….” You told them, remembering what that uncle told you before you left. Then she told you that the aunt that told you to leave, told everybody that she didn’t. you couldn’t believe it. “She said it in front of every fucking one! And now she wants to fucking LIE about it?!” your rage was out of this world and you angrily stepped outside in the garden, lighting a cigarette.

You sat on the lounge couch outside and lit the fireplace and stared at the fire for a couple of second until Pedro came outside with some wine and a blanket. You were silently crying from all the pain you felt. You knew that you weren’t going to be invited for the funeral. And even if you was, you wouldn’t go. You had to protect that little girl inside of you from ever happening something like this again. Kicked out to the curb like you so many people did before her. It wasn’t about ego or pride but to protect yourself and like I said, that little girl inside. If you would go, than you would show them that it was okay to treat you like this when it absolutely isn’t. You don’t want to be around so much toxicity. This had to be the hardest choice to make and there wasn’t a good ending for what you would choose except to protect yourself.

“Hey” Pedro said softly. Your face was puffy and irritated from crying so much, your eyes red and watery. You tried to give him a smile but you could see from miles away it wasn’t meant. He placed the bottle of wine on the table in front of you and placed the blanket over your shoulders. It started to rain but luckily the lounge area came with a roof. Music softly played in the background. You had your knees up to your chest and rested your chin on your knee. “Thank you.” you softly murmured as you poured wine into your glass.

Pedro didn’t know what to say to make it less painful for you. I mean, how could you. There was no way to make it less painful. “I’m so sorry….” He told you softly and carefully looked at you. Tears pooled in his own eyes as his heart broke to see you like this as images flashed in his mind of how you walked away and remembering the pain on your face. You looked at him and slowly nodded, both at this point unable to say anything. Pedro sniffled and looked away for a sec.

You looked down as tears just kept streaming as if you were in a trance. Pedro stood up and took your hand in his, making you stand up. You had no clue what he wanted to do but neither did you care that much. He sat down in the corner and softly pulled you with him so he could cuddle you in a more comfortable position. “God, I’m sorry.” He told you and pulled you in for a hug. Pedro held you tightly to his side while you cried. You held onto his cardigan, pulling it into your fist and squeezed tightly. “Just let it out baby girl. I’ve got you and I won’t leave you.” he whispered, cracks in his voice since he became emotional.

After a while, your mom and her boyfriend stepped outside and you finally calmed down. Rage took it’s place as a defense mechanism. You all hang outside for a while until your mom and her boyfriend left. You convinced them that you would be okay and if you weren’t, would contact them. Besides, you had Pedro and he promised them to look after you.

Your feet were propped up on the table as you listened to the rain, heavily falling onto the roof, the fire crackling before you and the music softly playing on the background. “So… what are you going to do if you get an invitation for the funeral?” he asked and your expression looked pained again. “I won’t go.” You explained why.

“They’ve treated me so horrible… not only today but years even. And I kept going back. I just wanted to be loved but in that process, I’ve lost myself. I wanted a family that cared about me so badly that it almost didn’t matter what they would do. But they don’t love me. They’ve never seen the real me. They don’t care. I can’t afford reacting the same way as I used to. Never speaking up for myself or whatever. I’m not going to fight for this, neither do I want to. I’m done. I rather have no family at all, than them…. I’m done being okay with being treated with the BARE MINIMUM. I can’t and won’t let them.”

Pedro nodded. “You’re the strongest person I’ve ever met. I really admire you and the strength you carry. People can only wish to have 1/10 of the strength you have. I’m here, and will support and stand behind you with every decision you take. Let them lose you kiddo. Let them miss out on your big heart. They don’t deserve even a small part of the love you’re able to give. They don’t deserve you, baby girl. They really don’t.” The moment he talked about your big heart, you lost it and he hit you right in the feelings.

Your eyes started to water again and before you even knew it, the tears slipped. “Can you give me a hug?” you asked, voice broken as you softly broke down. What he said, hit very hard. It was like that little girl inside of you, felt seen for the first time. “Of course! Come here baby girl!” he stood up and pulled you into his chest again. You wrapped your arms around him and held his cardigan tightly in your fist. He placed his hand softly on the back of your head and placed multiple kisses on your head. “We’re going to be okay. You are going to be okay.” You nodded and cried. “I need you to know, that I do love you. Very much so, okay?” you nodded again.

After an hour and two videos further, you both decided to head upstairs. You were exhausted, yet your mind kept wandering back to the events that took place earlier. You got into bed and Pedro walked into your room, not wanting you to be alone and neither did you want too. He crawled in next to you and you immediately clang to him. His arm underneath you, pulling you closer, your head on his chest. You listened to his heartbeat and breathing, hoping that you could keep your focus on that but tears slipped silently. Pedro didn’t noticed that you were crying until his shirt started to get wet and you finally sniffled your nose softly.

He got you out of the hug for a minute and held your hand and got into the corner again. You let your head rest on his chest. You were mentally and physically exhausted and still had some rough days ahead of you. “I’m so tired Pedge… I really am.” He softly shushed you. “I know baby girl, I know.”

After you finally calmed down. “I know something fun to watch. I don’t want to go to bed immediately. Need some distraction.” You told Pedro as you chugged your wine in. He gave you a soft smile and nodded. You got a new, stronger joint along side your laptop from inside. It was peaceful outside with the rain (and now thunder from afar). You put the heather on and placed your laptop on your, stretched out legs and searched for what you wanted to. Something easy to watch, yet something that would keep your attention. You found what you wanted and leaned against Pedro. Pedro took the laptop from your legs and placed it on his own so you could get comfortable.

“Hey, hey, it’s okay princess.” He told you. “I’m not going to let this happen just like this. When I see Maria, she’s going to hear what I have to say. I’m not letting her take my right of speech.” You sniffled. “You know I’ll support you. I know you’re strong enough. Stronger than she could ever wish to be. And I know how intense you can get too. You do, what you need to do, to process this and if that’s, speaking your mind to her. Than you should and I’ll be right beside you.” he told you, kissing your head.

“Thank you Pedge. For showing me what love is.” Pedro smiled softly. “And I’ll never stop.” He comforted you. “Goodnight.” You told him softly. “Goodnight baby girl. And wake me up if you can’t sleep or for anything okay?” you nodded. “Promise?” he asked you softly. “I promise.” Pedro kissed the top of your head as a reaction. You closed your eyes, knowing that you needed sleep for whatever bullshit was coming your way, knowing that it wasn’t over yet. But you were strong. Stronger than you ever thought you could be and even stronger than that. It was going to take time, a lot of time to get over this and heal from it. But for now, you needed sleep if you were going to survive this battle you had to face.

#Pedro Pascal #pedro pascal x reader #pedro pascal imagine #pedro pascal fanfiction #pedro pascal fluff #pedro pascal x you #pedro pascal x ofc #pedro pascal x female reader #pedro pascal x y/n #pedro pascal fanfic #pedro pascal fic #pedro pascal imagines #pedro pascal oneshot

[aanoia]

can I request a Remus Lupin imagine to Lover by Taylor Swift

happy to oblige, hope you love it!

Lover

Remus Lupin x reader words; 1,428 song; Lover by T Swizzle warnings; none i dont think my masterlist hehehe he's so cute i'm gonna be so fr with y'all, writing is the only thing keeping me from having a big mental breakdown so smiles :) if you love a song, the marauders, and my writing, request a song fic and your wish shall be my command. ENJOYYY

We could leave the Christmas lights up 'til January

And this is our place, we make the rules

“It’s closer to Easter than it is Christmas, why is your tree still up?” Lily asked, eyeing our cat who was playing with the bells hanging on the lower branches of the Christmas tree.

“Because Christmas is superior and deserves recognition all year.” I explained, glancing at my boyfriend who laughed with his friends. “And it makes Remus happy.”

And there's a dazzling haze, a mysterious way about you dear

Have I known you 20 seconds or 20 years?

“Oh, and I got you multiple candles because I know how much anxiety you get burning candles because you don’t wanna “waste” them, so I bought like, five so you didn't have to worry about that.” Remus said as he unpacked the grocery sack, pulling out the assortment of candles he bought.

I looked at Remus with a lovesick smile, “I’ve never told you about that.” I said quietly and he paused to look me in the eye.

“You didn’t have to. I know you.”

Can I go where you go?

Can we always be this close forever and ever?

“Okay, Moony, are you ready to g- what the fuck?” James said as he walked through our apartment door, Sirius and Peter trailing behind him.

“Oh, wow, Moons, looks like you got a leech.” Sirius commented, walking into the kitchen and raiding our cupboards.

“I was ready, but then she attached herself to me and she won’t let go.” Remus explained, rubbing my back softly as I clung onto him.

“You can’t take him.” I mumbled, my voice being muffled by his shirt and James laughed. “I’m serious, I need him.”

“Actually, I’m Sirius.” Sirius said, walking out of the kitchen with a spoon and a jar of peanut butter.

“Fuck you.” 

Sirius scoffed, “Rude.”

“C’mon, love, it’s only for a weekend.” Remus said and I just held on tighter.

“Nope. I’m a crazy obsessive bitch and you can’t go.”

“At least she’s self aware.” Sirius said as he left the house, stealing our peanut butter.

And ah, take me out, and take me home

You're my, my, my, my

Lover

“Sh, you’re okay now.” I soothed gently as Remus panted, the cuts across his body red and angry. I carefully wiped away dirt and blood and bandaged up his words, all the while talking quietly to him to calm his mind. “It’s all done, Rem, you’re okay.” I whispered, pressing a soft kiss to his forehead, he closed his eyes and almost instantly let sleep take over. I sighed and walked into the living room. “Rough night?” I asked the three boys and they nodded.

“It’s been getting worse lately.” James said, revealing the large cut on his upper arm.

“Well, everything will be alright. Let’s not worry him.”

We could let our friends crash in the living room

This is our place, we make the call

“Take your shoes off on my damn couch, Sirius Black.” I scolded as I walked out of the kitchen, a bowl of popcorn in my hand.

“My bad, your majesty.” he said and took his shoes off, throwing them at my legs.

“I don’t like you.”

“You love me.”

“Nuh uh.”

“Hello, love.” Remus interrupted, grabbing the popcorn from me and placing a kiss on my cheek.

“Hello, Rem.”

“What are we gonna watch?” Peter asked from his fort on the floor and James stuck his head out of it, opening his mouth and signaling Sirius to throw him a piece.

“Ooo!” I said excitedly, turning to Remus who already knew what I was going to suggest. “Can we watch-”

“Love and Pain and the Whole Damn Thing?” We said in sync and I laughed with a nod.

“We’ve watched literally every time we’ve had a slumber party.” James said with a frown and his wife threw a pillow at him.

“It’s a great movie, James.” Lily scolded.

And I'm highly suspicious that everyone who sees you wants you

I've loved you three summers now, honey, but I want 'em all

“Six, oo, seven.” I counted quietly and Remus snorted.

“What are you doing?” He asked.

“Counting, duh.”

“Well, yes, but what are you counting?”

I glanced at Remus, “The amount of people who look at you and do a double take, which obviously means they think you’re cute, which I wouldn’t blame them to be honest.”

“That’s cool. Sucks for them though, yeah?”

“Why?”

Remus paused and grabbed my arm, making me come to a halt. He smiled and pressed a soft kiss to my lips. “Because I’m all yours.”

Can I go where you go?

Can we always be this close forever and ever?

“Y/n, you are the love that came without warning; you had my heart before I could say no.” Remus recited to his friends.

“That is the cheesiest thing on Earth.” Sirius commented but James hit his arm.

“I think she’ll love it, and that makes it even cheesier.” He said with a nod and Remus smiled gently.

And ah, take me out, and take me home (forever and ever)

You're my, my, my, my

Lover

“Will you marry me?” Remus asked, finishing his speech that brought wet tears to my eyes.

“Yes, Rem, yes I will. Of course I will.” I whispered and he put the ring on my finger before standing up and throwing his arms around me. He spun me around in the air and set me down to plant a fat kiss on my lips, joy radiating off him.

Ladies and gentlemen, will you please stand?

With every guitar string scar on my hand

I take this magnetic force of a man to be my lover

“Do you, Y/n, take this man, Remus, to be your lawfully wedded husband?” The priest asked and I smiled at Remus, wiping a stray tear off his cheek.

“I do.”

“And do you, Remus, take this woman, Y/n, to be your lawfully wedded wife?” 

Remus nodded, “I do.”

My heart's been borrowed and yours has been blue

All's well that ends well to end up with you

Swear to be overdramatic and true to my lover

The priest nodded with a smile, “You may kiss the bride.” Whoops and hollers filled the air as our lips met, the loudest coming from Sirius, James, and Peter who were off to the side. I smiled into the kiss, happy to finally be tied to Remus - which also means his best friends - for the rest of our lives.

And you'll save all your dirtiest jokes for me

And at every table, I'll save you a seat, lover

“Y/n/n-” A small voice said and I looked down to see a five year old Harry pulling gently on my dress.

“Ah, my favorite boy.” I said and bent down to pick him up. “How are you, little man?” 

“I good.” He smiled wide, placing a wet kiss on my cheek and I laughed. “Uncle Remmy said to give you a kiss.”

I looked up at my husband who winked at me with a smile, “How kind of him. Can you go tell him it’s almost time for cake?” I said and Harry nodded as I set him down. He immediately began running to Remus as fast as his little legs would let him, an angry expression on his face with his teeth bared and little growls coming from his throat. 

Remus laughed as Harry whispered in his ear. He stood up and immediately made his way over.

“I assume you did not tell Harry that you wanted to meet me in the bedroom?” He said with a smirk and my eyes widened.

“What?!”

Can I go where you go?

Can we always be this close forever and ever?

And ah, take me out, and take me home (forever and ever)

“Ah, Paris, the city of love.” I sighed dreamily and Remus laughed.

“You are my city of love.” He said and I furrowed my brows.

“That makes zero sense.”

“Are you sure?”

“Positive.”

“It makes sense to me.”

“You’re weird.”

“Are you sure?”

“Extra positive.”

You're my, my, my, my

Oh, you're my, my, my, my

Darling, you're my, my, my, my

I smiled at Remus and looked in his eyes as we laid together on the bed.

“You’re beautiful.” He whispered and my smile grew.

“You’re beautifuller.”

“You’re beautifulest.”

“You’re beautifullerest.”

Remus snorted, “That’s definitely not a word.”

I winked, “I’d beg to differ, Mr. Beautifullerest.”

Lover

taglist (if u wanna be added comment);

@loving-and-dreaming @1lellykins @poetrypirate

#aanoia #romance #marauders era #remus lupin #the marauders #james & peter & remus & sirius #sirius black #harry potter #remus lupin fluff #remus lupin x you #remus lupin x reader #remus lupin imagine #peter pettigrew #marauders headcanon #marauders #hp marauders #marauders map

[elslovers]

chapter one

BLOOD IN BLOOD OUT

synopsis: medical school is hard you knew it would be you prepared for the long nights and breakdowns you prepared to run off only coffee and will power for four years what you didn't prepare for was Abby Anderson you thought after graduation you would be done with her but first day of your internship there she is ready to give you hell...and maybe something more

a/n this is basically going to be greys anatomy tlou version im not sure this is gonna land with people but lord I hope so doctor abby eats so lets see how this go - also this is my first not standalone fic yay for me

you had always been a healer in one way or another, mending healing sick younger siblings back to health from a cold or nasty flu turned to taking care of your friend's hangovers after discovering to never vodka and tequila

you've spent your whole life healing people mending broken hearts and broken women, and mending parents and friends during the lows of their life it only made sense that you would dedicate your life to mending the pain of others its what you do best, and if you're being honest, you loved it at first, you thought you might want to be a vet at the ripe age of eleven. You decided you prepared the company of your pets to those around you (you still do) and thought fixing them might be a decent way to spend your adult life but the concept of seeing animals in any form of pain put you off your dinner then in middle school, you thought maybe a nurse you liked the idea of a hospital, the concept of working alongside brilliant doctors and helping save people's lives by realizing you only wanted to be a nurse because you thought you couldn't be the doctor and fuck that

college, you spent every second of every minute of every goddamn day proving you deserved to be one of the doctors, and after four years of grueling pre-med classes, you were confident you deserved to be one of the doctors then came med school, which knocked you flat on your ass. You didn't go to a shabby school for undergrad, but you ran circles around your peers there - common knowledge was that you were the one to watch, but med school was different you weren't running the circles alone Abby Anderson had been breathing down your neck and your ego from the moment you stepped foot into your first class - the first question your professor asked your two hands were the only ones to fly up

it was world war three ever since that day constantly an all-out battle as to who can bruise the other's ego more you hated her stupid notes and the way she was so above using an iPad like everyone else and was insistent on surviving med school with pen and paper for notes, only using her laptop when needed be you hated her attitude. Her father is a doctor, and she always acted like she was born with a scalpel in her hand, ready to cut she always acted so above you if you were being honest with yourself, Abby made you feel weak. She was tailor-made for this life. She was stoic and hard level headed and cool under pressure. She poked fun at all the things that made you you

she made fun of the way you doodled in the edges of your textbook she made fun of how you dressed 'like an overgrown toddler.' She would say every time you sported your colorful shirts or pants, your cardigans or fun shoes- the day you wore pigtails to a lecture was one of the worst of your years there Abby always quipped that you were better-suited teaching kindergarten than in the OR, and sometimes you started to believe her

in high school, mean girls were blondes with Jeeps and low GPAs, but in med school, the mean girl was a cut-throat soon to be doctor who almost beat you out for top of the class almost

graduation day came and when and you stood on that stage beaming ear to ear - your dress may have been pink, but you were the only one with a gold cord draped over your cap and gown so suck on that, Abby Anderson was the second name to be called and the relief that flooded your body was unexpected

it was over. She was gone, and you would never have to feel that big hand wrap around your shoulder just to tug at your ponytail you had finally gotten rid of Abby fucking Anderson and you existed blissfully with that thought all summer you'd accepted your internship at Jackson Hospital and after four miserable years of med school spent proving to yourself you deserve to be a doctor, you now got to spend the next four years of your life proving to yourself you deserve to save lives when your alarm echoed throughout the four walls of your one-bedroom apartment, it felt like a gift

today was the first day of the rest of your life

it was a fresh start - a clean slate and nothing in this world could knock you off your high at least you thought

the light blue scrubs felt like a second skin right off the bat, and with your hair in a pink clip and two cups worth of coffee In your travel mug, you gathered around the other interns and spotted the only thing that could ruin your day a honey blonde braid hanging idly down the pack of the one person who could make you regret even waking up that morning

fucking Abby

Abby had a special gift for making you feel small, always pointing out the things you love about yourself as if they were the worst flaws she'd ever seen

it blew your mind to think your first impression of her was that she was stunning

"you have got to be kidding me" You meant it to sound firm and harsh, but you know it came out weak

you watched, gawking as Abby turned roughly on her heels to tower over you properly

this was going to be a nightmare

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

to say Abigail Anderson was meant to be a surgeon would be the understatement of the year

where you were born to heal

Abby was born to cut

her father was a healer,

but what she lacked in his warmth she made up for in discipline. Abby was controlled. She was hard-working. She knew what she wanted from the moment she was old enough to vocalize it and she spent every moment of every day working toward it. It would be admirable if she was humble about it but Abby was cocky, and she knew it

she was always the one to beat all throughout her life she spent most of her young childhood inside the walls of Jackson Hospital, absorbing every ounce of knowledge her mind could, and by the time she hit high school, she was a well-oiled goddamn machine Abby lived and breathed medicine, and although out college, every move she made had the sole purpose of bringing her closer to the goal - to the one thing she was made to do it is needless to say, Abby never had many friends. That's not to say she had none. Every overachieving perfectionist can attest that various social clubs help fill the void

Abby was president of the debate team Vice President of Model UN, captain of the girl's basketball team, and an active member of the gay, straight alliance per her father's request (begging) who often worried Abby didn't surround herself with 'people on your team' as he father would put it over breakfast most mornings

Abby had people but Abby was alone. She didn't play nice with others people who weren't on her level she found boring and impossible to converse with and people on her level (people like you) posed as a threat to the territory that was rightfully hers Abby walked confidently into med school posy undergrad, convinced no one could take the wind out of her sails until she met you

for every question asked you always seemed to have the answer a second faster for every quiz test or exam that she got an A on it always felt as though you got an A + she hated the way you showed her up and did so with a smile - did so with fucking pigtails

she hated how good you got and how kind you stayed she spent years convincing herself that the way she was is what it took to become bright that warm girls sweet girls girls who doodle and play nice don't become cut throat and that Abby was made to be cut throat

but there you were personified sunshine and holding a fucking dagger to her throat it seemed unfair so when you made her feel low Abby would make you feel lower she knew her teasing and taunts were pathetic and bordering on cruel but for four years taking the wind out of your sails put it back into hers

she would be a liar if she said tequila and late nights in her apartment didn't force her to think about how soft and broken your face looks when she teases you she would be a liar if she said those thoughts didn't want to make her stop but they just were never enough when she sobered up

after graduation all she could feel was relief sure you had one for a final time you pulling top the class out from under her would chase her down in her nightmares for years to come but she had the summer to nurse her pride and by the time day one of internship rolled around she was prepared to walk though the doors of Jackson hospital exactly what she was A legacy Abby was the second link in the chain of Anderson surgons in that hospital

her father was legend and now she could follow it up build her own reputation of excellence she like he had always intended when she gathered around the other interns sipping on her coffee as they all spoke in hushed whispers about how she was the daughter of THE dr Anderson she was confident nothing could bring her down until she heard your voice small and weak and taunting as she whips around her braid nearly hitting someone in the face

"oh come the fuck on" she hissed feeling the anger rising right to her cheeks

this was going to be a nightmare

#IRISWRITES #abby anderson #abby anderson x reader #abby anderson au #medstudentaby #modern!abby

[exauhstedsunflower]

I dont even have real thoughts. Just,

When I was 10/11 and forced myself to move on from playing with my Barbie’s because I was exposed to society and growing up and it seemed like something I had to do. Going back for my dolls one day after months deciding I needed to do something I loved only to find out my mom threw them away because I stopped playing with them. Being devastated. This reinforcing that there is something wrong with me because I shouldn’t want to play with dolls anymore anyway. The barbie movie not quite healing that wound but softening the blow when I think about it now.

Getting my nails done in hot pink every time at 12 and then at 13 getting them in blue. Painting my nails pink two weeks ago because I was excited about the barbie move and feeling at peace.

Seeing my best friend since I was 9 in pink for the first time in I cant even remember and us both feeling nostalgic and free and beautiful.

Me being 14 and my brother being 11 and him discovering the patriarchy. Him making sexist jokes. Me screaming at him. My grandmother laughing at us fighting. Me crying about it to this day, even though I’m 22my brother is now 19 and nothing like that anymore. Me seeing myself in Barbie and my brother in ken as they grow apart and then back together. Realizing that even though Ken hurt Barbie, barbie is the one to tell him its ok in the end. Ken not apologizing. Seeing us in them once again and feeling an ache in my chest.

Wanting to watch the scene where Barbie says she doesn’t feel pretty anymore and why she doesn’t feel pretty. Why she doesn’t feel like who she is supposed to be. Her face. My face as I start crying. My heart breaking as I realize that I have felt that, and that if its being portrayed here that it’s a universal experience to have that breakdown, to have a friend say ‘you are beautiful, you are enough. You’re not wrong, the world is.’, to not believe them fully, though you do accept that they’re probably right. The fact that she’s not wearing makeup in that scene. She’s broken down into her barest form, and her barest form is wrecked because the world has fucked her up and made her think she’s not enough.

Barbie panicking as Mattel tries to literally put her in a box. The people that are technically responsible for her, the people who she believes will help her, are not only not who she thought they would be, but they try to put her back in a box. Her not being able to be put back into a box. She knows too much now. She’s seen and felt and thought too much. She can’t be what they want her to be even when they try to force her. Impossible standards not even ending with people you’re meant to trust. Barbie being alone in that moment. Barbie finding a friend who gets it and not being alone anymore. Barbie not realizing that until the friend refuses to let her drown. The friendships that women make under the pressure of the world being something so beautiful and heartbreaking and necessary.

Sasha being exposed to something good and nice in pink for once instead of something hating on whatever the pink thing is and slowly smiling more, becoming herself. How this exposure can help young girls so much. Before this not only hurting herself by distancing herself from her mom and feminism but also hurting other women in the face of the pain society has slowly caused her because she has given up on herself and on society the way society has given up on her and itself.

in the end, Barbie not even advocating for herself even after everything she’s learned about feminism and what the world with do to women who let it swallow them whole. Sasha, who previously was not much of a girls girl, being the one to say “What about Barbie?” Everyone saying “Yeah, actually, what about Barbie?” Because she deserves a happy ending too. Barbie was standing in the back and out of the way not only in this scene but in most of the ending scenes actually, which is a wonderful portrayal of what all of these things that have happened to Barbie can do to a woman, regardless of how strong or empowered she was or may have seemed. Barbie, the main character of the movie, becoming quiet and contemplative and unsure, and relegating herself to the background because of all of this. Barbie being surprised to see people wanting something good for her. Barbie not knowing what she wants. Barbie absolutely knowing what she wants the whole movie but dancing around it because as a woman you are put in a box and you’re not supposed to say what you want. Even as a barbie. (“I have never wanted anything to change!” “I only ever wanted things to stay the same!” “I don’t know what I want anymore.”) but “It takes two to open a portal.” And so many more sly comments about how Barbie caused all this too. Barbie not even being proud of her accomplishments by the ending when they’re in the void. Ruth only figuring out What Barbie wants because of a comment, a self effacing comment. Barbie asking permission to be herself. She’s been affected negatively by the world, and yet is choosing to live in it anyway. As are the women of the world. Barbie didn’t need permission. But she asked anyway, she probably wouldn’t have done it is Ruth said no. If anyone had protested at all. Because as a woman she is self sacrificing and making sure everyone is ok with things before doing it. Ruth not showing Barbie life as a woman in the end, because Barbie already knows what that’s like. She’s not asking to be a woman, she is a woman, she’s asking to be human, for which life is nuanced and beautiful. As is being a woman, though in very different ways.

#Barbie #greta gerwig #Margo robbie #ken #ryan gosling #Barbie movie #I just want to thank all of the people who worked on this personally and sincerely. #I am moved in ways i didn’t think were possible #I feel seen in ways i didn’t know I wanted to be seen. #Thank you so much

[xysidhequeen]

Today I lost a dear member of my family, Rune. Rune was rushed to a vet today. Shortly after reaching the vet she had a seizure and her heart stopped, and could not be restarted.

Rune was 6 years old. My husband found her while working at Walmart. She was hiding under a pallet. He carefully coaxed her out and then kept her in the manager office in a box(with food and water!), which she broke out of. He then took her home in another box, which she broke out of again. We welcomed Rune happily into our lives and hearts. When we first got her we couldn't even tell her gender, so we decided on the name Rune. (She was obviously, now, a girl. She just had too much fluff)

Rune was a menace to society, my mental health and most especially our other cats. She loved to bully them if given a chance, and she'd scream for food if you stepped a single foot in the kitchen. She was the least graceful cat I've ever met in my life, and had maybe one singular braincell.

But she also loved being brushed so much she'd drool, loved feet, and would let you pick her up whenever you wanted and immediately begin purring. She didn't care if you cried in her fur, and would just keep purring and letting you cuddle her until you were done. She loved to cuddle, and would always find her way into someone's lap. She liked to cuddle with my friend Mavis when they went to bed, and watch videos with them. Even if you upset Rune, she'd never hurt you, her bites were the gentlest things I'd ever felt. Rune couldn't stand to hurt anyone, and even when she was at the vet, sick and probably in pain I'll never know, she never once tried to bite any of the vets or techs.

Rune had so much love to give(as long as you were human) and she would accept all of it back. She was a sweet thing, and I loved her so so very much. I watched her grow up, and she purred me through many a mental breakdown.

I have so many videos and photos of her, from every stage of her life. And the fact that I will never have any new videos of her antics, of her sweetness, has killed something inside of me. I'd trade so much to just get one last chance to cuddle her and hear her purr for me.

I wanted to share this, because Rune was my darling and I want everyone who possibly can to see her, and to know her and to mourn that she's gone now. She deserves to be loved, because that's all she ever wanted. There was no such thing as too much love to her.

So please, send her your love. She deserves all of it, even if she's no longer around to enjoy it.

#pet death #cat death #death #tw: pet death #tw: cat death #tw: seizures #tw: death #cat #pet #i wanted to share because more people should know rune #she deserved all the love the world could give her #she deserved more than 6 years

[wasted-women]

ROUND 1D, MATCH 2 OUT OF 8!

Causes of Death & Propaganda Under the Cut:

Gamora

Cause of Death: Thrown down a great height

Propaganda:

Ugh okay, I know the writers bring her character back, but that is a past Gamora who does not even remember her recent team mates, the Guardians of the Galaxy. And this new Gamora does not show up till 7~ movies later. I absolutely hated watching Gamora die and then the movie showing her abusive dad crying over her, after he physically and mentally abused her for years and literally murdered her "for the greater good". And then of course her boyfriend Peter hear the news and has a mental breakdown. His sadness is so great that the good guys are unable to stop Gamora's dad and thus Endgame happens. I completely understand if you don't want to add her, I just wanted to give her a shot. My anger really stems from Gamora being an abuse survivor, then has to meet up with her abuser who murderers her in cold blood. Especially since she was one of the main characters in Guardians of the Galaxy. And I get the feeling that the writers for Infinity War/Endgame were not in communication or agreement with the Guardians of the Galaxy writer since GotG's writer had to bring her back out of nowhere for his story to work.

Gamora was raised to be a living weapon and she escaped her abusive life and found a new family who loved her and was even repairing her relationship with her (also abused) sister. Her murder was ALL ABOUT her abuser and how he felt sort of conflicted about throwing her off a cliff - and then all about her boyfriend and how upset he was about her death. Like I even liked her and Peter's relationship, but she also had her sister and friends and we never get into how her death affected them. We never get into how horrific her death was or how tragic it is that her life was cut short and what a waste to the universe it was because she was such a hero. It's just about the men's feelings. Ugh. (also yes technically she was brought back from a different timeline, but it's also very clear that Gamora is a different person, with her own story, and that og Gamora is dead and never coming back).

Killed off for Thanos and Quills man pain and for no other reason.

Natalia Romanoff

Cause of Death: Self-sacrifice to get the Soul Stone

Propaganda:

[No Propaganda Submitted]

Jane Foster

Cause of Death: Cancer

Propaganda:

her getting fridged in love and thunder made me so mad because 1. The movie was about her! I know it's a Thor movie but they literally advertised her as a female Thor. And her conflict about her own mortality is at the core of the film. 2. She dies for not just one man, but two men's character arcs! When she dies, it serves as a redemption for the main villain, and it shows Thor a lesson about how being with her wouldnt make him happy. Because she literally died and now he cant be with her! And because of her death, the villain decides not to kill all the gods. So it could have been a self sacrifice except, oh no! She dies from cancer! A completely arbitrary death!

#wasted women poll #round 1 #round 1d #gamora #natalia romanoff #black widow #jane foster #thor #avengers #avengers infinity war #avengers endgame #thor love and thunder #mcu #poll bracket #poll tournament #character polls #polls

[littleragondin]

Wednesday is here again, we all know what it means…

Absolute Zero Day!

Last week left us with Suansoon realizing how big of an impact him being in his own past might have on his future, while teen Ongsa was diving head first into his crush on Soon.

- Those tickets are dated March 5th, which means there are only 9 days between Suansoon and Ongsa’s first meeting and Soon’s birthday/Ongsa asking him out.

- Immediately feeling crushed by Suansoon's breakdown looking at that picture of him and Ongsa.

- I really like Ongsa’s little friend group. They are adorable, supportive, they feel like teens. The little documentary of the show said they were new characters created for the show (if I’m not mistaken), and I think it’s a good addition. It’s good to see him interact with peers and it emphasizes the contrast with Suansoon’s grief-fueled loneliness.

- I, too, would preen in delight if Sine complimented me, I feel you Soon. So she was just kindly housing him while he found his footing? Incredibly generous … but at least we now know where the money for Suansoon’s rent is going to come from.

- Soon saying that Ongsa’s doesn’t like coffee that much right after we see Ongsa discuss the fact that he doesn’t know anything about Soon? Loved it. Very efficient way to remind us where they both stand in their respective timeline.

- Oooh our first real big slip about time travel! Also it does something to me that he mentions the last movie he watched with adult!Ongsa ngl.

- I checked what the “My girl” (แฟนฉัน) movie was about and … well. Fitting, it seems. It follows themes of memories and nostalgia that blend perfectly with the show.

- AH YES!! I loved how, in episode 1, every time we see them watching a movie, Suansoon looks at the screen and Ongsa looks at Suansoon so you BET I noticed how this time, Suansoon is the one looking at teen!Ongsa watching the screen. I live for parallels.

- Oh, the way Soon panics and rushes away to hide when Ongsa’s parents come visit broke my heart a little. And the “we will meet eventually”?? he gained a full family when he got with Ongsa, uh...

- Okay that cut from teen!Ongsa laughing as he leans into his mother to her asleep at his hospital bed? Brutal, painful, sad. Please don’t do this to me again (I say knowing full well that’s what I signed up for)

- “You’re missing someone and that person isn’t me.” Oh boy… I like how forward Ongsa is. Like, couldn’t be me but he knows what he wants and he will reach for it. I am quietly impressed by that.

- I also liked the little ring scene, I may read too much into it but… the ring didn’t fit just like the way teen!Ongsa liking him does not fit adult!Suansoon. Still, it finds its place with Soon's bracelet, with that memory of their teenage love. Because that's what all of it is for adult!Soon, in the end. An extended sort of memory, and he finds comfort in it, of course, there is a lot to cherish here, but ultimately that's not what he really wants.

- Unsurprisingly loved the shoot with Ongsa’s hands holding the two tickets as evidence of Soon’s rejection, calling back directly to last week ending shot. Did I say I like parallels?

- “I won’t apologize, because I did it on purpose.” I was taken by surprise ngl. Tho i felt for Soon because like... Ongsa is kissing him, except it's not the Ongsa he loves right now, not like this, but it's still him. Also, that tear when he doesn't push him away for the second kiss? b y e

- That final scene had me googling smartphone apparition and distribution because I can't for the life of me date their widespread distribution - so as comparison point, the iPhone came out late June 2007 in the US (about 8 months before the show) so I do assume that specific kind of smartphone is unusual enough to justify their reactions.

Unsure of where we're being taken next week but I will be there.

I still really like Suansoon. Do I think he should have removed himself sooner/more seriously to protect what he had? Yeah, sure. But I'm not the one working through time traveling, and the grief he is carrying. I can understand that it's hard to refuse the obvious comfort he gets from spending time with teen!Ongsa, and that he gets touched and nostalgic when the boy gets all cute with him. Also I said it last week but I am just delighted by Teng Kanist and the melancholic softness he plays. Just works for me, hooks my heart and I'd forgive everything.

I still don’t think the video shop grandpa is aware of what is happening with Soon and time travel, but I do like that in the preview we see Soon still seeking him for help because it seems like it’s something he did for a long time (in ep.1 already he was saying the man had been here for all his important moments).

That said, at this point I brought my ticket for the “teen!Ongsa knew who teen!Suansoon was/would become when he meets him at the cinema” train. That would explain the tears at the lake, why he would keep going to the movies hoping to see him, and how deep the feeling seems to run when he tells him that he misses him when they meet in the video shop. Now my question is, in that case, how would that fit into their present life? Does it mean that adult!Ongsa has always been aware of his lover traveling back in time? How much is Suansoon going to tell him, is he going to be aware that he’ll get caught in a life threatening accident?? (Is that why he looked SO sad when they watched the movie the day before the accident??)

Now to be patient until next Wednesday ...

#Absolute Zero #Absolute Zero the series #องศาสูญ #Absolute Zero spoilers #i am still so pleased with this show #I miss Mix a little bit #especially given how good he was in the first episode like give me more of him please! #but I'll bid my time 😔 #(i feel like i get wordier and wordier with each episodes lol) #mine #words