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gretavangroupie · 9 months

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Vigilance (Chapter 19 Part 2)

Word count: 15.1k

Pairings: Jake x Reader, OC x Reader, Sam x Reader, Sam x OC, Jake x OC

Warnings: Alcohol, Gambling, Smoking, Marijuana, Cursing, Dramatic Themes. Smut Including: Kissing, Touching, Making Out, Light Degradation, Dirty Talk, Praise Kink, Biting, Fingering, Name Calling, Edging, Mentions of Sub/Dom Themes, Voyeurism, Orgasm Denial, Unprotected Sex, Rough Sex, Pet Names, Digital Penetration, Spanking. Angst Including: Jealousy, Possessiveness, Toxic Themes, Arguments, Yelling, Verbal Abuse, Verbal Fighting, Extreme Portrayal of Sadness, Crying, Sexual Assault, Cheating on Partner, Abandonment.

This story is a collaboration with my best pal @gretavanmoon.

A/N: Part two of chapter nineteen! This was never intended to be two parts, but it was longer than tumblrs limits would allow, thus, requiring two parts. If you haven't read part one, you can read it here.

HER POV

Holding the napkin in your hand your face was hot, flushed with nerves, shyness and embarrassment, but you knew all those emotions were unnecessary. You had Jake by your side, and Elle and Sam were your best friends…the night was yours, and it was young.

You both slid your empty glasses to the edge of the bar, thanking the bartender as you made your departure. You stood and Jake grabbed your hand, lacing his strong and calloused fingers with yours as you headed out the exit into the main lobby of the hotel in search of the elevator.

The hotel was still buzzing with people, gamblers left and right looking for a place to cash in their chips. Once you found the elevator, you hopped inside with a slew of other people, you stepping to one side, and Jake to the other. You were happy you’d had that giant glass of water; it made you feel a little less wasted than you were earlier, and definitely a lot better about what you were doing now.

Amongst the ten or so other just-as-drunk people on the elevator, you and Jake stuck out like sore thumbs. Both pressed against the walls as far as you could get, nonchalant and buzzing with anticipation. You held steady glances to one another as you picked at your nails, and he brushed his fingers over his lips. The elevator must have stopped four times before you even made it to the fifth floor, each time it stopped making time seem to drag on.

Finally, when the elevator had emptied, you were approaching the fifth floor, your departure floor.

“Babe, we don’t have to do this, you know. We can get off right here and go to our room, tell them you started to feel sick or something…” Jake finally spoke once the doors closed.

“I’m anxious, Jake. But I’m okay. I…wanna go. Are you okay with this? If we go…? I want you with me…” you offered.

“Yes. I want to go. Believe me, I want to go. Badly. I just want you to feel comfortable.” He said, taking your hand in his.

“I promise I feel comfortable. Sam…he’s no big deal. But this is something new with Elle. And for you…I might just need a pep-talk.” You laughed, trying to shake off your nerves, speaking in chopped sentences.

He took both of your hands in his. “Love, it’s okay. I’m yours, you’re mine. That’s all that matters. We’re just going to have some fun, experiment…live a little. You and I aren’t married yet, it’s okay for us to go and be young together while we still can.”

You sighed. “You’re right. It’ll be fun. What the hell are we doing?” You laughed, physically shaking your hands out.

Suddenly your back was pressed against the wall of the elevator. “Do you need me to get you worked up again? Need me to remind you of anything, love?” His mouth was to your neck, and his hand was trailing up your dress, fingers brushing up the back of your thigh and over the curve of your ass.

“I don’t have a problem with reminding you, little preview, hm?” He gripped your ass hard in his hand, pain shooting through from the residual swollen marks from the belt, but all it did was spur you on. The pain was a hellacious reminder of what he was capable of, and who you belonged to.

“How was that kiss at the bar earlier? Did you like it?” He asked, a low grainy voice by your ear.

You nodded harshly, “Yeah, I did.”

“Well let’s go see what else you can come up with. Maybe Elle has some tricks up her sleeve…” his tongue was running along the shell of your ear now, his breath heavy as he exhaled into your ear.

Just then the elevator stopped and the door opened, leading out to a surprisingly empty corridor. The both of you stepped out, and you brought the napkin up to remind yourself of the room number.

“508.” You said. You walked down the long hallway to almost the very end, stopping short when you heard music coming through the door to their room. You both laughed. “Definitely them.”

Jake knocked hard on the door as you stood back against the opposite wall, crossing your arms over your chest. Jake stood leaning in the doorway, one hand in his pocket and one high on the door frame. God, he’s hot.

He knocked again as you heard the music turn down, and Sam greeted him at the door. “Room service!” Jake yelled, pushing Sam back into the room. He turned to catch the door for you, allowing you to follow him inside.

“I didn’t order anything, dipshit.” Sam said as you both came into the room, the smell of marijuana lighting up your senses.

“No? Well, your girlfriend did. Wrote her order on a nice bar napkin. Just for us.” Jake sat down confidently in a chair, crossing one leg over the other and resting his hands behind his head.

Elle was seated on the bed, rolling up a few joints when she saw you. Her sultry eyes darted to you as she licked the paper. “Hey there, gorgeous. Samuel, you not going to offer our guests something to drink? Has my southern hospitality not rubbed off on you at all?” She slurred.

“Shit, sorry.” Sam said, popping up from just sitting down. He made his way to the mini fridge and bar. “We have tequila, spiced rum, and vodka. And sprite and club soda and some type of weird juice.”

“You know what I want.” Jake said, brushing over his chin with his fingertips. Maybe he is anxious.

“I’ll have the same.” You offered. “Thank you Sammy.” You plopped down on the bed next to Elle.

“My pleasure, babe.” He said, winking over his shoulder.

Jake turned the music back up a bit, and tapped his fingers on the arms of the chair.

Sam brought you your drinks as Elle stood from the bed, presenting three perfectly rolled joints. “Who wants to do the honors?”

“Got a lighter?” You asked, taking one from her hands. Sam stood quickly, pulling one from his pocket, and handing it to you. He walked over to the large sliding door, opening it up to let the smoke out. A bit of fresh air blew through the room, bringing with it the smell of fried foods and the city.

You lit the joint, taking a long hit and holding the smoke in. You leaned back on your arms, letting the THC do its work. You passed the joint to Elle as you exhaled, a big cloud of smoke falling from your lips as you coughed a little bit. Instant headrush, your favorite.

She hit the joint next, following suit and passing it to Sam. “Thanks for coming back with us, we weren’t sure you were going to.” She said quietly under the music.

“Why would you think that?” Jake added.

“I dunno, thought I pissed you off earlier. You got awfully cutthroat, Jacob.” Elle replied.

“Hm, I like a little competition. Little challenge sometimes.” He said, cracking his knuckles as Sam passed him the dwindling joint. “Seems as though you knew just what buttons to push, didn’t you?”

“Seems as though I did.” She said.

He passed the joint back to you. “Well, it earned you something nice, though, didn’t it?” He said, taking his finger and swirling it in his drink as he exhaled.

“That it did.” She said sternly, a devilish smirk finding her face. You exhaled the smoke back into the air, letting the high find you once again. Elle scooted closer to you on the bed, sliding her legs underneath her. You passed the joint to her as she took it from your fingers, taking one last giant hit.

She motioned for you to come closer to her as she held the smoke in, and signaled for you to make a kissy face. You did as she asked, and she placed her hand on your cheek, slowly blowing the smoke directly into your mouth slowly as you inhaled it all. Her hand stayed on your face as you met her eyes, red and glassy and full of lust. You held the smoke for just a few seconds, getting the last bit of a high you were chasing so frantically.

Once you exhaled, you felt her lips on yours again, this time a bit more relaxed. Your head began to spin, the entire world around you falling into nothingness. Her hand moved from your cheek to around the back of your neck, pulling you a bit closer. The kiss turned from a peck into something a little deeper, with a little more feeling behind it.

You allowed your lips to part just slightly, letting the kiss move a bit more. You felt her tongue reach to brush your bottom lip before she pulled it back again. No, come back. You copied her motion, slightly bringing your tongue to graze against her lip. She tastes…so sweet…

You breathed a relaxed exhale as you parted slightly, catching her eyes as you both smiled. You dove back in, this time feeling confident. You positioned your body in such a way that you were leaning in toward her across your legs, giving yourself some purchase to reach your hand out and let your fingers play in her hair. Your heart was beating a million miles a minute, but you didn’t want to stop.

Finally her tongue found yours, plunging into your mouth as she explored. God, you couldn’t get enough. As she pulled back, you let your body weight chase her, not wanting to disconnect. Both of your hands were on her face now, fingers gripping into her waves as she deepened the kiss, sitting up higher on her legs to tower over you.

Keep going, Elle.

You felt her fingertip tickle over your barren collarbone, down around to your chest, and trail right between your breasts. Her hand landed on your side, squeezing your hip as she stood on her knees above you. You let a hand leave her hair, finding a grip on her hip, and you pushed your fingers into her curves. You felt like you were floating on a bobber, getting sucked underwater every few seconds only to resurface to the air again. The pit of your stomach grew warm, and you wondered what she was going to do next.

Her hands felt heavenly on you, without her having touched you much at all. They were small and dainty, but still comfortable and intriguing, a lot like Jake’s touch.

Fuck.

Jake.

You had completely forgotten they were even in the room. Damnit. Well, they were getting a show. You began to slow the kiss a bit, feeling like it was heating up, but you needed to recenter. You pulled back a little, releasing your grip on her hip and face. She sat back down on her heels, smiling as she disconnected from you.

“God…damnit, why did you fucking stop?” You heard Sam ask, his voice crackly and low.

“Yeah, why did you…stop…” Jake added with the almost exact same tone of voice.

You both laughed at the situation, bringing yourselves right back to your normal goofy selves, but still full of complete and utter attraction for each other.

“I have an idea. Samuel, bring me that tequila bottle.” She snapped her fingers to him, and he jumped up like a trained puppy, grabbing the small bottle and placing it in her hand.

“Y/N, how comfortable are you being topless?” Her words shocked you.

“What? What do you mean?” You asked, eyes flitting across the room. You couldn’t bring yourself to look at Jake yet, or Sam for that matter.

“Topless. I can be too, if it makes you feel better.” She said.

You thought on her words for a second. You obviously weren’t embarrassed in front of Jake, Sam had also seen every part of your body, and you and Elle had seen each other nude plenty of times, changing in front of each other over the years.

“Um, I guess I’m okay with that. Yeah. Why not?” You said, shrugging it off. You truly felt comfortable, your drunkenness definitely lowering your inhibitions again. You reached for your drink on the table, taking a long swig.

“Cool. Jake, is it okay with you if Sam and I see her topless?” Elle asked. “And me too, I guess?”

“As long as she’s fine with it, I don’t care.” You heard him mumble, sincerity in his voice.

“Agreed.” Sam added.

You nodded, slipping one shoulder free from the strap of your dress, letting it fall to your waist. You looked up to Elle who was still sitting with the bottle of tequila in her hand. You reached for the second strap, letting it fall to your side, too. This exposed your entire bare chest to three people who know you better than anyone, who have all seen more of you than this many times before, but this time, you felt extremely exposed. And you liked it.

“You’re truly a sight, Y/N. I hope you know. Guys, isn’t she gorgeous?” Elle said sweetly.

You heard Jake take a long exhale and reposition in the leather seat.

“Absolutely stunning.” Sam said.

“Driving me wild, Y/N, just like you always do.” Jake’s hollow voice followed. Fuck, his voice. Here we go again.

You felt your insides churn at their praises, and suddenly you felt all your caution leave your body. This was going to be fine.

“My turn?” Elle asked, looking at all three of you before she slipped free of her top, exposing herself as well.

“God, I’ve got competition…” you managed, giving the guys permission to comment as well.

“Lie back, Y/N. Flat on the bed.” She instructed, and you did. Next she opened the bottle of tequila, pouring just a little bit into your belly button, and into the hollow of your throat. “Stay still, babe.” The tequila was cold, giving you instant goosebumps all over your body, effectively making your nipples stand at attention.

She hopped off the bed, kneeling down on the floor beside you. She connected her mouth to your neck, sipping up all the liquor and swallowing before lightly trailing her tongue down the center of your torso, over your ribs, and straight to your navel, repeating the sip.

She took a little more time here, allowing her lips to graze the sensitive skin around your navel.

“Son of a bitch…” you heard Jake mumble, laughing quietly in astonishment.

“No shit, you two are truly…” you glanced at Sam, watching him bury his face in his hands as he leaned forward.

“Jake? A shot?” Elle piped up, more cheerful than you expected.

“Yeah, definitely.” He responded, his voice sounding sleepy.

Elle poured the liquor again. Here came Jake, your first eye contact with him since you made out with a woman in front of him. You felt him kneel beside you, catching his eyes as he did so.

“Hey gorgeous, ready for body shots round two?” He asked.

“Hell yes, baby. Let me see what you’ve got.” You played, trying not to move or spill the liquor.

He threw his hair back into a low knot, not caring a bit how it looked, and reached his head down, sipping up the liquor from your throat, then trailing his mouth up your neck and to your ear. He let his face nuzzle in your tangled hair, breathing heavily as he did so.

“You’re so fuckin’ sexy, baby…” he mumbled just loudly enough for you to hear, before nipping at your ear lobe. He then returned to your neck, trailing tiny kisses down your sternum toward your stomach. The chill bumps returned at his touch, your head spinning wondering what was in store from his beautiful brain.

You felt one hand snake up and grasp your tit as his tongue met your bellybutton, swirling it around before connecting his lips and pulling the drink. His hand squeezed your breast, and you couldn’t help the tiny whimper that fell from your lips. Instant arousal.

“Fuck, baby…” you breathed as he sat up and wiped his mouth free of the tiny dribbles.

“Mmm, say that again…” he growled as he brought his lips to yours, soaked and stained with the strong taste of tequila. You giggled into his mouth.

“Sam?” Elle offered, handing the bottle to him. The room went silent. “Not up to me, up to you guys. Just thought I’d open the door…” Elle went on.

Jake sighed. “Just one.”

Sam chuckled as he took the bottle, pouring the liquid into your navel, lifting the bottle high for a second and making the stream a few inches long.

“Remember what I said about leftovers, Samuel.” You heard Jake quip. You normally would be offended, but you were too turned on to care. You were about to have Sam’s mouth on you again.

“We see how that worked out, don’t we Jake?” Sam spat back.

Just then Sam grabbed both of your hands at your sides, and lowered himself onto the bed, perching to face you between your slightly parted legs. Both his hands held his weight on either side of you as he towered above, pinning your hands to your sides. Quickly, he caught your eyes with that look you knew so well. So damn well.

He bent his elbows, bringing his mouth down low, running his tongue from between your breasts straight to your stomach. His tongue dipped inside your belly button, similarly to the way Jake’s just had, but instead he dug his teeth in a bit, slurping up the tequila, his eyes never once leaving yours. You couldn’t help the tiny arch in your back as he bit into your skin, your body reacting on its own accord.

Fucking. Hell.

“Sam…” Jake warned.

Sam released your hands, sat up and cleaned his mouth off, resting on his knees between yours, a position you never thought you’d see yourselves in ever again.

“What? Not my fault I remember all her sweet spots. I could show you a few sometime if you’re interested…” Sam said with a quick wink.

Oh, he’s gonna pay for that one.

“Just watch your fucking mouth, okay?” Jake warned, knowing that Sam was not paying any attention to him.

“Alright alright…” Elle interrupted as Sam took his seat back in the chair. Elle came in front of you and grabbed your hands, helping you to sit up. “Open up, baby.” She tilted the bottle back, and poured the tequila into her mouth as you followed her instruction.

She towered above you again as you tilted your head back, mouth wide open and ready to accept. She pursed her lips, letting the liquid fall in a steady stream from her mouth to yours, dripping a little bit onto your cheeks as she did so. You felt the warm liquor drip down your neck, sliding all the way down your throat and between your breasts. Your immediate reaction was to wipe it clean, but you decided to give the guys a little show, instead.

You swallowed the tequila, the burn lighting your insides on fire. You took your finger, running it up your skin from where the drink had trailed, chasing it up and collecting it, before licking your finger clean of the remnants.

You left your finger in your mouth for more than a few seconds, swirling your tongue around it until you found Elle’s gaze, leaving your eyes to stare into hers while you left your finger in your mouth.

“Damn, Y/N, you really make this easy…” Elle complimented. “Ok, my turn.”

Elle layed back on the bed, her long curls falling over the side in lustrous waves. She handed you the bottle and you continued the theme of the activity, switching back and forth from her navel to her neck.

You decided it was time to involve the guys. Your head was spinning even more so now, the tequila taking effect and the marijuana now buried deep in your bones.

“Jake, come here.” You held your finger to him, signaling for him to come and join the festivities. “Take a shot from Elle.”

“Don’t have to ask me twice.” He relayed, filling her navel with the chilled liquid. He licked his lips before he lowered his head, connecting his mouth to her. She shuddered at his touch, her hand instantly finding his hair as he moved his lips against her. Uh oh, he loved that. It seemed to spur him on, as he slowly ghosted his tongue down to her side, using his teeth to nip at her love handles.

Elle let out a breathy laugh, showing that she enjoyed it, maybe a little too much. “Jake…biting is my thing…” she said, as either a warning or an invitation. You were fine with the latter.

“Is that right?” He said, voice gravelly. His eyes shot to yours, then to Sam’s. You saw Sam shrug one shoulder to his side, telling him to go ahead. He continued his tiny love bites, up her side under her arm, onto her shoulder and onto her neck. He leaned his weight to hover above her, the visual of him with his mouth on her making you squirm.

He went slowly, taking his time as he moved higher, letting his tongue reach out and taste her every so often. God, you were going to dream about this for months. He was in the crook of her neck now, slowly and sensually lying tiny bites right below her ear. His tongue slid tactfully out, leaving a tiny wet trail. You watched as her eyes rolled back and closed, fluttering open and shut as he spoke into her ear. You couldn’t hear what he said, but you could have probably guessed.

Suddenly you felt Sam’s hand on your upper thigh, squeezing his fingers lightly and ghosting his fingertips as he watched them. Elle let out another breathy giggle, inhaling sharply as he brought his kisses to her jawline, moving closer and closer to her mouth.

“Sam, Y/N…?” He said without looking to either of you, his mouth hovering directly above hers. You and Sam simultaneously gave him permission, and his lips connected to hers in a fury. You watched as your boyfriend kissed her, slowly at first, just exploring…her hand finding his hair once again. Sam’s hand continued to squeeze your leg, moving dangerously closer in toward your heat as his body inched closer to yours.

Elle’s hand shot up to cup Jake’s neck, pulling him closer into her. His tongue grazed her lips as the kiss deepened. You felt yourself getting extremely aroused, and felt Sam’s mouth pressed against the back of your shoulder. Another one of your sweet spots. He just kept fucking remembering them. His mouth opened wider on your back, laying hot and wet kisses to the back of your neck now. Fuck, Sam. Stop remembering.

His hand gripped your thigh, pulling your leg apart from the other as you rolled your head, the combination of his mouth and hand on you making you go crazy.

Elle’s leg bent at the knee, pulling Jake to lie more closely on top of her. She was enjoying him. And you didn’t care. How could you blame her?

“Careful over there, Jake. Don’t get too carried away.” Sam said, disconnecting his mouth from you for a second.

“Shut the fuck up, Sam.” He quipped back.

“With pleasure, brother.” Suddenly Sam grabbed your chin and turned your face to meet his. “I still love pumpkin…”

His kiss. His mouth…your head was spinning, flying off your shoulders like a boomerang into the sky. Every nerve ending, on fire. Your heart was racing, feeling his lips on yours again, his touch…you could hardly form a coherent thought, much less take a second to recognize what was happening. All you could feel was him. Your Sam. Kissing you again. You felt like fireworks were going off in the room, in your head and in your body…insane amounts of excitement filling you to the brim.

Your brow furrowed as you leaned into him, kissing him back with more unhinged passion than you probably should have in this instance. You knew you had to hold back, but god, you didn’t want to.

You pulled away, completely flustered and ready, looking directly at him. His eyes were blown out with lust, his hand still buried deep in your thigh muscle, squeezing and massaging as you fought yourself from jumping into him again.

You slowly shook your head ‘no’, the look on his face like he could devour you right then and there. God damnit, Sam.

Jake pulled away from Elle soon thereafter, sitting back on the bed, his shirt all the way unbuttoned now, instead of his normal two-button style. Elle must have done that.

“Shit, Jacob. Maybe we should argue more often, if it’s gonna end up like that.” Elle breathed as she sat back up, hair and appearance a mess. “Y/N, come back to me.”

You did as she told you, fully entranced by the air in the room, making you feel vulnerable and uninhibited. You crawled her way, letting your mouth find hers again, with Sam still at your back and Jake by your sides. You heard their noises of some type of carnal attraction, speaking little sounds and whispers as they watched the show unfold. But it wasn’t a show, you truly did enjoy making out with Elle. And you weren’t ashamed of it.

After a few seconds she pulled back. “God, now I understand what you guys meant…she’s absolutely delicious. You’re so tasty, Y/N.” Elle purred, making you feel like you could collapse.

“Thank you, Elle. You’re fuckin sweet, yourself…” you answered honestly, blushing.

“I couldn’t agree more…” Sam said quietly.

“Baby, come here. Come sit with me.” Elle asked of Sam. He moved from behind you on the bed, joining Elle as she began pulling at the hem of his shirt, pulling it above his head and tossing it to the floor. “It’s getting a little warm in here. Thought you might need to cool off some.”

“The one thing I don’t need to do is cool off…” he kissed her hard, both hands tangling in her hair as they kissed, heating up the scene exponentially. Sam always had his own way of making things so much hotter than they actually were…

You felt Elle’s hand on you as she kissed Sam, pulling you their way. You glanced to Jake, and he raised an eyebrow, silently saying you could make your own decision.

You took it as an OK, shifting your weight toward them as her hand began tickling over your chest. She pulled away, letting Sam kiss her neck while she looked at you, a devious stare as she cupped her hand around your breast, making you feel something that you’ve never felt before. You let her massage as she held eye contact with you.

“Christ…” Jake mumbled from beside you.

Instantly, Sam’s hand was on top of Elle’s, letting her guide their hands as she began to feel all over your body, sometimes gently and sometimes rough. Finding your favorite pressure points and concentrating on them, squeezing your nipples and digging nails into your hips. After a few seconds, you realized that it wasn’t Elle’s hand doing the guiding at all, it was Sam’s. He knew exactly where to touch you to make you go crazy.

Suddenly Jake was on his knees behind Elle, leaning down to whisper in her ear, most likely the same thing he had said to her earlier, something to drive her crazy. Her eyes rolled back again, and her hand disconnected from Sam’s.

“Babe, can I…touch you?” Elle asked you, the same devilish look pasted across her face. Jake’s face was directly beside hers, the same wicked look of intrigue, looking as though he wanted you to say yes.

You nodded, slowly, deciding that you were in this deep, might as well take the next step. “Say it out loud, hun. Tell me.” She went on, asking your permission.

“Yes. You can touch me.” You answered.

“Jake…?” She asked next.

“Fuck yeah….” Of course.

You laid back a bit, not quite sure what to do. This territory was still very much uncharted. “It’s okay, love. Don’t be nervous. Just gonna make you feel good…” Elle went on.

You relaxed on the pillows, letting one leg bend at the knee, the flowy skirt of your dress falling toward your upper thigh. She gingerly drifted her fingertips up your legs, inching closer toward your center. Your breathing began to pick up a bit as you became more anxious, the nerves finding their way back. This is so strange…but so good…

Her hand pulled the skirt up and she covered your heat with her palm, her touch soft and gentle, much different than what you were used to. Her hand glided slowly, back and forth, side to side overtop of your panties. You realized you had closed your eyes tight, still a bit self conscious of what was happening. She’s your best friend in the world…everything is fine…just let yourself feel it…

You let your eyes open, seeing the three of them watching you intently, the same look on all their faces. One that you absolutely couldn’t describe even if your life depended on it. But it was good. It was so good.

Elle’s hand dipped into your underwear, taking her sweet time as you allowed her to explore you. You felt like you might explode, her touch so intricate and concentrated, even given how drunk you both were. It was madness, how much you felt, how turned on you were…you let your legs separate a bit as she went a little deeper, finding your clit and giving it special attention.

“Fuck…” Jake growled.

You couldn’t help the reaction your body was giving, your back arched and your hands found your tits, pulling and squeezing them as her hand felt you. “God Elle, yeah…” you breathed. You felt yourself beginning to rush to the peak, the edge of the cliff just within reach. Suddenly your mind snapped to another place.

“Don’t wanna cum, Elle. I don’t…” you said.

“You don’t? You don’t have to, hun.” She said, slowing her movement.

“Not fair to everyone else if I’m the only one who gets to…” you said, earning a little giggle from everyone.

“Aww, so considerate, Y/N. You’re sweet. But I’ll get mine…” Elle said, looking over to Jake.

“But god, I don’t want you to stop…” you laughed as she continued gliding her fingers over you.

She smiled a knowing smile. “I don’t want to stop.”

You sat up as she removed her hand, giving you a tiny wink as she sat back.

“I don’t think I’ve ever seen anything as hot as what I saw just now…” Sam said flatly, he and Jake’s expressions both full of wild lust. Jake wiped his hand across his face, recollecting himself.

“Mmm, it was hot, wasn’t it? Come here, Sam.” You let the words fall from your mouth before you could stop them, wanting to continue the madness. He glanced to Jake, but found Elle already walking toward him, trailing her fingers along Jake’s jawline.

Sam took that as an ok, and followed your command, crawling over to you, placing his lips directly on yours again. You weren’t sure how this happened, how you’d ended up completely swapping, but you were enraptured in Sam’s touch right now. His hands trailed up and down you, your hand buried deep behind his neck as his tongue explored your mouth, truly tasting you again for the first time in so long. Your drunken lust was amplified, damn him for being so inebriating to you.

You glanced behind him, seeing Elle half straddled across Jake’s lap, engaging in the same activity you and Sam were. Wow. This is…insane.

The room air was heady now, the four of you jumbled into a mess of hands and bad decisions, thick with want and desire and attraction…you never wanted it to end. In an act of weakness, you let your hand brush against Sam’s dick, making him groan quietly into your mouth.

“Fucking watch it, little one…” he whispered. “You’ll make me do something I regret…”

“This place is already full of regret, haven’t you noticed?” You grinned, letting your hand brush by him again. Damnit, Y/N. Slow down. But you couldn’t help yourself. Sam held some type of nefarious power over you, something you were drawn to in the worst way, one that destroyed you with every passing second.

He hissed through his teeth, clenching his jaw and closing his eyes as he mentally tried to break away.

“You still…taste so fucking good…” he mouthed, very quietly. “I don’t think I will ever get over it…”

Shut up, Sam…

“Did Elle treat you right? Make you feel good?” He asked, as you nodded.

“She made me feel so good…but not as good as you used to…” you breathed into his ear, causing his body to stiffen.

All of a sudden Jake’s hand was on your leg, his fingertips in your thigh, bringing you back down to earth.

“Baby, you still good over there?” You heard him ask from behind Sam.

“Great, baby, you okay?” You responded.

“Mmmhmm…excellent actually…” you glanced again, Elle completely straddled across his lap, his hand grasping her ass as she hid her head in the crook of his neck whispering to him unintelligibly. You could hear the low growl of his voice, but couldn't make out the words over the sound of the music and the thrum of the blood rushing through your head.

You smiled as he looked over to you, giving you a sweet wink. Where on earth had you found yourselves? Sam looked behind him as well, seeing them in the unholy position. He looked back to you, shrugging his shoulders, and pulling you closer.

You went on this way for a bit, letting Sam’s hands and tongue explore you again, completely not caring for what Jake and Elle were doing at the end of the bed. At one point you felt Jake lie back on his elbows, letting out a guttural moan as Elle must have done something to set him off. You turned your head and watched as he whispered something into her ear again and as she pulled back from him you heard her ask him, voice full of lust, “You promise?”

He hummed in agreement and you looked away quickly before either of them had a chance to notice that you were listening. Your brain began to swirl with thoughts, and part of you felt like ending everything there. Getting up right now and dragging him back to your room. But the warm hands wrapped around your waist drew you back in, reminding you that you were most likely having the exact same thoughts.

“Feeling good over there, brother?” Sam asked.

“Ha ha, sure as fuck am…she is…” he trailed off as Elle’s mouth cut his words.

You smiled into Sam’s kiss again, torn up and twisted in your passionate draw to him, coming full-circle in an act that you never ever thought you’d find yourself performing again.

The whispers filled the room again, and you found yourself trying to listen, but again no luck.

Looking over to Jake and Elle you watched her say something, causing Jake to toss his head back, “Jesus fuck, Elle…”

You weren’t sure what was happening, but he didn’t tell her to stop.

Sam suddenly stopped his actions, bringing his eyes to look deeply into yours, speaking a thousand words in the span of five seconds, telling you everything you already knew, and that it was still true.

“I know, Sam. I know.” You whispered.

He laid his head down beside yours with a thud, his mouth directly beside your ear. “I swear to god, I wish…I had…a time machine…” he whispered, making your insides wrench, twisting your heart into a million shreds. His fingers wiped a few stray hairs from your face, the tender touch making you want to cry.

“Well, we don’t have one, so you better make this count while you can.” You suggested, leaning your mouth closely to his lips, connecting them again. What you felt in Sam’s kiss was undoubtedly something else, something rooted so deeply that you could hardly fathom it. A feeling that was created millennia ago, when we were nothing but stardust, the cosmos creating us out of nothing but the sands of time.

Love.

Pure, infatuating, implanted and ingrained into the soul of every living being. And you felt it, wholeheartedly, with Sam. Just like you had all those years ago, and a few times here and there since.

But the strange and cruel part of it all was that you also felt it with Jake. The exact…same…feeling.

You looked behind Sam to find Jake’s head arched back, Elle going crazy in doing everything she could except sexing him. Shit, you found yourself thinking dark thoughts…Is that something you felt like you could watch? In the moment, you thought you could. It would be an absolutely insane visual, both of them so ethereally gorgeous, unhinged and writhing with each other…

You perked up again, Sam standing up to grab his drink. Elle removed herself from Jake, taking his hand to sit him back up.

“Enjoying my girlfriend, Jake?” Sam spat, sipping from the edge of his cup.

“You enjoying mine?” He quipped back.

“Mhm, seems mutual.” Sam said.

“Definitely mutual…” he growled.

You watched as Jake’s eyes traveled to Elle, standing with her hands behind her back leaned against the table, in nothing but her tight black skirt. You realized that she was just straddling Jake; he had to have seen a bit more than he thought he would. His gaze was sultry, and he bit his lip as she smiled shyly. He was very…very into her. How could he not be?

“How are you feeling, ladies? Doing okay? Anyone need a drink?” Sam asked, keeping up the role of the host.

“I’m good, thanks.” You answered as Jake came and sat beside you on the bed, the straps of your dress still hanging low around you.

“Enjoying yourself, love?” You asked him, smoothing his tousled hair.

He glanced back to Elle as she spoke closely with Sam. “Yes, very much so…she’s really, coming on strong.”

“Mhmm, I can tell. I think she’s really into you, Jake.” You said, putting a finger to his shoulder.

“I think she is, too…” he said, falling into a shy grin.

“Do you want her? Is all of… this…going where I think it’s going?” You asked.

“What do you mean babe…I…” he looked to you, puzzled.

“Do you wanna fuck her, Jake?” His face was full of surprise at your inquiry.

“What? No, baby. What do you mean? No…” you could tell his face absolutely flushed at your words, and he stumbled to find the right ones of his own.

“Jake. You don’t have to lie…I can tell you’re into her, too…shit, look at her…I would be. I can see whatever is happening between you two…I’m not mad baby…” you trailed off, thinking hard about the subject.

“Why? Do you want to fuck him?” he asks.

“Answer me, and I’ll answer you…” you pressed.

“Fine. Yeah I want to fuck her. I want to fuck her, badly. But you know you’re my girl.” he answers, looking over your shoulder at her.

“What if we….what about a free pass, babe… If that’s what you want…go for it. I trust you, I trust Elle. Asking Sam, that’s another story, but. I promise you, it’s not something that would make me mad, look at us. Look what we’re doing right now…” you motioned around.

“At this point…” you shrugged, for some reason, somehow or another, you felt as though you could truly let him do this. One time, if it’s what he wanted. You could both have what you wanted. “It’s just sex, babe…I want you to feel good.” you continued.

He brought his eyes back to you, an answer hanging on the tip of his tongue as his eyes flicked to her, then over to Sam. He was considering it, the alcohol helping his decision.

Yes or no?

“Maybe just–” he was cut off, snapping his head to his phone ringing loudly on the table.

“Who the fuck? Couldn’t have picked a worse time…” he paused, picking it up, “Of course it’s fucking Josh.”

“Hello?” he answered angrily.

“You’re where?”

“Are you ok, are you with Danny?” he asks.

“What do you mean you don’t know where you are? How the hell did you…?”

“You fuckers got too drunk, didn’t you? No, I won’t come find you! What-where is Daniel?”

“What do you mean you can’t find him? Why did you separate anyway?”

“No, absolutely not. I’m fucking busy, Josh. I can’t come down there.”

“None of your business…”

“No…Can you please just…”

He pinched the bridge of his nose, sighing heavily.

“Fuck, fine… I’ll come find you, you damn idiots. Don’t go anywhere, just stay there. I’ll call you when I get downstairs.” he snaps.

He hung up the phone. “Goddamnit, I can never have a single second for myself.” He complained.

“Are they okay?” Sam asked, turning the music down.

“They’re fine, I think. Josh got too drunk and twisted around trying to find Danny. Lost him. Said he’s been searching forever.” He answered, looking over to Elle.

“You ready babe? I’ll walk you back to our room first.” He says.

“Wait! She doesn’t have to go, does she?” Elle chimes in.

Jake pauses, looking over to you, sitting on the edge of the bed.

“Uhh, I don’t suppose so…Baby? Do you… wanna stay? Without me?” He looked to you.

You bit your lip, and nodded. You didn’t want to leave.

Jake sighed heavily. “Okay, I don’t like this, but I guess…if you want to stay…”

He bent down to kiss your lips. “God, right when things were getting really fun…I’ll be back baby. Behave, okay? I love you.”

“I love you too, Jake.” You murmured. “Be careful.”

He nodded in agreement but before he left, he leaned over and whispered into your ear, “Remember who you belong to…”

He stepped back and turned to Sam, poking a finger into his barren chest, silently warning him to not cross the line in his absence.

“I’ll be back, soon hopefully.” Jake walked out, letting the door slam behind him.

“Mmm…Now we can have some real fun…We have her all to ourselves baby…” Elle breathed.

Just like that it was the three of you. Left wanting and waiting, and wondering where exactly that line was drawn.

—

The festivities resumed, just as they had begun. Except this time, you felt less pressured to hold back, letting yourself focus your attention a little better. Letting yourself feel a little more…a thrashing mess of the three of you wound up and not thinking, the alcohol seeping into your brains, lowering any standards you may have had.

Your mind and body were flowing separately but all together at the same time…hot, heavy, wasted and untamed…and you were living for every second of it.

Still, in the back of your mind, you wondered what Jake’s answer would have been if Josh hadn’t called. Though you were certain you knew. You could see the look in his eye.

At one point, you let your hand slide down the curve of Elle’s body, and you felt her shiver and pull back.

“You okay baby?” Sam asks, putting his hand on her suddenly clammy face.

She shifts back a bit, swallowing heavily as she runs her hand over her face, “No…I…I’ll be right back.” she says, standing up and sprinting to the bathroom.

“Fuck, is she okay?” you ask, nervously.

Sam sighs, and spins to stand from the bed. “No, she hit her limit before we ever left the bar. The tequila was a bad idea. I’ll be right back.” he says, letting his hand ghost over your cheek, swiping over your bottom lip.

His eyes break away from yours as he makes his way to the bathroom, leaving you sitting on the disheveled sheets of the bed. Understanding that the fun was more than likely over, you pull the straps of your dress back over your shoulders, and stand up from the bed.

Looking over the room you spot your clutch and fish for your phone, and any word from Jake, but as you pull your phone out you see nothing and toss it back inside. You make your way over to the sliding door and stare out onto the strip, marveling at the colorful lights and flashing signs.

You let your mind wander as you let the incomprehensible feelings swirl through your body. As much as you loved Jake, why did your few moments with Sam feel like so much more than they should?

You shake the thoughts from your mind as you hear the two of them coming out of the bathroom. Sam pulls Elle’s dress from her body and slides his t-shirt over her slender frame. Your breath catches in your throat, catching such a sweet and tender moment between the two of them. Something you remember Sam doing with you, time and time again.

You look away as you hear him tuck her into the bed, whispering into her ear. You make your way back to the dresser, gathering your clutch and heels and making your way to the side of the bed.

“I hope you feel better Elle, I had fun with you tonight.” You say, leaning down to kiss her forehead.

Before she can even respond her eyes are closing, and Sam is tossing you a smirk.

You start to make your way to the door, and Sam catches your hand. “Let me walk you back. I want to go smoke anyway.”

“Shouldn’t you stay with her?” You ask.

“She got sick, I think she should be okay now. Said she just wanted to sleep.” He responded.

You nod your head, and put your shoes back on as he redresses himself and grabs his room key. Seconds later he is whisking you through the door and towards the elevators.

“What floor are you on?” he asks. “Actually, do you… want to come smoke with me?”

You turn to catch his gaze, knowing full well he just doesn’t want to leave you yet.

“Sure Sammy.” you say, looping your arm with his.

He presses the button for the rooftop terrace and after a few minutes the doors are opening, depositing you at the windy rooftop bar. There are very few people around, considering that it's nearly three in the morning, the bar starting to close down.

Sam pulls you out of the elevator, hand in hand as he tries to find a place for the two of you to stand and smoke.

Around a corner, the wall blocks the harsh wind, giving him his best chance of lighting his cigarette. With a flick of his zippo, the tip of the cigarette glows to life, a stream of smoke blowing from his lips.

He offers it to you but you decline, knowing that the rush of nicotine is the last thing you need in your system.

“You know, you never let me fully apologize for the role I played in the whole Andy thing. I need you to know I’m sorry. More sorry than I have ever been for anything in my life.” he says, taking a pull from the cigarette between his fingers, gazing out onto the strip.

“I know you are Sammy. I forgive you. It’s done and over now. I was hurt and sad, but I am moving past it. I’m not letting him have control of my emotions anymore. Breaking my relationships with the people I loved is what he got off on. I’m not letting him do that anymore. I know you’d never hurt me. Ever. You all thought you were doing the right thing.” you reply.

He grabs your hand and squeezes it tight, acknowledging your forgiveness, and cementing the words into his mind. It’s quiet for a few minutes, and you can feel his gaze on you as you stare out onto the busy street.

“I kind of wondered what would happen…” he trails off, looking out into the desert.

“Just now? With Elle?” you ask, leaning your back to the railing.

“No. With you and me. After some time…after we were both settled, so to speak. If the flame would still be there.” he admits.

“Oh…” you say.

He takes another drag from his cigarette, his hair blowing gently in the wind.

“You know what I think?” you ask.

He turns to look at you, eyes dark and piercing even in the dead of the night. He raises an eyebrow.

“I think that you and I both know the flame will never burn out completely. Even if we both want it to. An eternal flame…” you say, trailing off.

“Do we both want it to?” he asks, resting his hip on the rail as he faces you.

“I think we need it to…” you answer, as he nods his head.

“Tonight was…” you start, shaking your head struggling to find the words to say.

“Amazing? Cruel…” he finishes, reaching his hand to your hip, letting his fingers grip into your side. “To have you so close…but still just out of reach. Jake, watching my every move, like I didn’t ruin you a hundred times over right under his nose…”

You swallow harshly, knowing the exact feeling he was talking about. You knew that no matter what could have transpired tonight, it would only be a brief glimpse of what you knew he was capable of.

“What would have happened if Elle never came back?” he asks.

“Sam…” you whine, feeling his grip pull you closer to him.

“Do you ever think about it?” he asks, tamping out his cigarette.

“I don’t know.” you answer.

“Yes you do.” he says, sliding his hand up to rest at your neck, letting his thumb dig into your skin. He always did remember those special points of your body. You groaned at the sensation of his hands on you, away from prying eyes.

“I think… we would have continued doing whatever it was we were doing. I think Nashville wouldn’t have been the last time. Not by a long shot.” you answer.

“No. It wouldn’t have. Fuck, I… I would have done things so differently…I know I sound like a broken record but, I had no idea it would be the last time.” he pauses, “But then tonight…”

You nod your head as you bring your face closer to his, letting your hands rest on his arms. “Tonight…”

“Fuck…” he exhales a shaky breath, “Tonight, yesterday, every day before that, fuck Y/N…”

“What, Sammy…” you say, your lips barely ghosting over his.

“I’ll never stop.” he says, his lips grazing yours.

“Stop what?” you breathe.

“Wanting you just one more time…” he whispers.

“So don’t.” you reply, feeling his lips, cold and wet press to yours.

The electricity zapped from your toes up through your body, a whimper leaving your throat as his tongue slid across your lips. His hands pulled you closer into him, feeling his bulge press into your stomach. Your hand slid under his shirt, and you were met with the soft warmth of his skin. His lips felt different away from Jake and Elle. Like he was the gravity holding you down to Earth, keeping you from floating away into the cosmos. His hand wound into your hair, pulling your mouth closer to his as his lips reacquainted with yours.

He inhaled a shaky breath, almost as if the contact was bringing him to tears. You peeped your eyes open to see his eyebrows furrowed, kissing you with so much intention you felt dizzy. So you returned it. You let your nails dig into his sides under his shirt, dragging them around to his front, making him physically shudder. Finally, you brought your hands back up to cup his face, pulling yourself away to catch him in a look so devastatingly intense that you felt like you might disintegrate. You were almost in tears yourself.

His lips plush and pink, still stained with the pressure of trying to consume as much of you as he could, while he could, he blinked rapidly, honestly probably fighting back tears that you knew were also threatening you, too. He clenched his jaw and flared his nostrils, swallowing hard.

“Y/N, I swear on my life…there will never…” he shook his head slowly, unable to find the words as he held your head steady. He breathed again.

“You don’t need to say it, Sammy.” You whispered. “I know. I’ve known for years and years…”

He let a laugh fall from his throat as he tilted his head back, eyes sparkling with tears he just wouldn’t let fall.

“And what about you, huh?” His eyebrows raised. You knew what he was asking.

You looked to the ground, searching for some way, any way to tell him, without telling him.

So instead of speaking, you simply smiled. A wide, toothy and genuine smile that stretched from ear to ear, making you fall into a fit of shyness…nodding your head and pushing back tears.

He returned your smile. “That’s all I needed, babe. That’s all I needed.” You let a singular tear finally crawl down your cheek, and before you could catch it, Sam’s lips caught it, kissing it away.

He rested his forehead to yours, bringing you in for a final embrace. “Happy tears, lover. Always happy tears.”

Your phone buzzing in your clutch pulled you back down to earth, the realization hitting you of what had just occurred.

You pulled away quickly, grabbing your phone from your bag, seeing a text from Jake.

3:08 am

Jake: I found them. Taking Josh and Danny back to their rooms. Coming for you next. Going to finish what I started…

You let out the breath you were holding, and looked to Sam.

“I know…” he says, nodding his head in defeat. “I’ll take you back. Thanks for coming up here with me. For this.”

“Sam, we…” you start, but his finger presses to your lips, stopping the words from escaping.

“Let’s go.” he says, sliding his finger down your arm, and lacing his fingers with yours.

—

“What floor are you on?” Sam asked as you approached the elevator doors.

“Eight. Room 801.” You responded as the doors opened, and you pulled the room key from your bag. The two of you stood in silence as the elevator ascended, way too quickly for your drunken state to handle.

The doors opened and you headed down the hall, hands brushing by one another as you walked.

“I had a…really good time tonight, Sam. I wish…we could have made it last just a bit longer.” You said quietly as you approached the door.

“I had a great time, too. Never thought I’d get to be with you like that again. Ever.” He said, inching closer to you.

“Mm, me neither. It was… a very welcome surprise.” You breathed, his mouth close to yours again. You could feel the tension growing again, threatening to break with every passing second. It was taking everything in you not to push him against the wall, run your hands all over his body, bury your tongue deep in his mouth…and let all the dirty thoughts explode from yours.

His lips were within centimeters of yours, his nose brushing against your cheek as you fought to keep your breath steady. Your eyes began watering at the situation, the draw so strong you could faint.

“Goodnight, lover…” he whispered, words hot on your lips as he pulled away, leaving you a heaving mess of winded breaths. You watched as he walked quickly down the hall back the opposite way you came, toward the stairwell. Strange. Maybe he needed to walk.

As he approached the door, he turned to look at you, giving you one last longing glance before pushing through it.

You stood for a second. Looking at the door of your hotel room, and then back to the stairwell. A thousand memories replaying in your mind in a flash of noise and color.

Fuck.

Before you could stop yourself, you were rushing down the hallway, not looking back. Your legs carrying you faster than you could think as you ran to the door, busting through it into the dark, shadowy stairwell.

You found him there, leaned against the brick wall running his hands through his hair. You stood before him as his eyes found yours, chest heaving up and down with his labored breaths. You watched as his breath caught in his throat, face riddled with shock.

“You fucking came…”

Suddenly his hands were on you, pushing you against the wall with force. His mouth instantly connected with yours as he wound his hands into your hair.

You kissed him back, hard, violently searching for something you didn’t know you were still looking for. Something you wished away. Something that no matter how hard you tried to deny, would always be there.

He growled with anticipation, grabbing your hand and locking his fingers with yours, trailing your hands between you, forcing you to feel his erection.

“You feel that, baby? You did that. You’ve been doing that to me all night…” you squeezed him hard through his jeans, cupping him just so that his muscles softened, a whine falling from his beautiful pink lips.

In a flurry, you unbuckled his belt, button, and zipper, forcefully pulling him free of his confines, taking his dick fully in your hand, already pulsing.

“God Sam you’re so hard already, what is it you want? What have you been thinking about?” You breathed, all coherent thoughts flying out the window as you let your animalistic instincts take over, beginning to move your hand up and down him quickly.

“Shiiit baby, you. I’ve been thinking about you, fucking you, making love to you like we used to…miss it so bad, Y/N…” he whispered.

You quickened your movements on him as he kissed you hard again, hiking your leg up over his hip, your panties absolutely drenched from want. He held your leg up with one hand, pressing himself against you. You swore you could orgasm right then and there, the feeling of his bare skin pressed against you again. Your whimpers carried out quietly through the echoey stairwell as Sam brought his hand to your center, threatening to touch you in the place that for the longest time, belonged to him.

“Mmm, still get wet for me, baby? Let me see…”

His fingers found your folds, tracing along the insides as he maneuvered them perfectly, quickly shaking them as he glided up your wetness.

“Just as I thought, fucking soaked. For me, babe?” He asked.

“A little bit for your girlfriend, but…” you teased.

“Shut the hell up.” He laughed, shaking his head. His beautiful, adorable, sweet laugh.

You pushed your lower half in toward him again, searching for any type of contact as he continued assaulting you with his fingers. Your hand had released him; he was gliding himself in between your folds now, feeling your warmth on him.

“God damnit, you feel so fucking amazing, and I haven’t even…” his breath caught as you connected your mouth to his throat.

“I fucking want you, Y/N, so bad I can hardly breathe…I literally can’t stop it….” He went on.

You felt like another person, floating above watching yourself in the position you found yourself in. So bad, so wrong. Fuck.

Sam’s hand was around your neck, his fingers on your pressure points as he pressed his dick against your bundle of nerves, making you gush with arousal.

You whined hard at the feeling. “Fuck me then, Sam. Do it. Like you used to. Fill me up, I need it. I need to feel you again…” someone else was speaking through your mouth, this horrible, detrimental decision already weighing hard on you, but you needed Sam so badly right now, you surely would cease to exist if you didn’t have him.

Just then he lifted your leg higher, and pressed into you, gently at first, then all the way in to the hilt. The noises that escaped both of your lips were filthy, foul and obscene…your mouth hung slack as you fought to catch your breath, the feeling of him inside you again climbing to the very top of your list.

“Jesus Christ, Sam, don’t fucking stop…” you sounded pornographic in your words, the sounds you both whined echoing and bouncing off the walls. But you couldn’t care less. He pulled in and out of you at a pace that could kill you, long and languid strokes, already hitting your G-spot with ease.

“You’re fucking beautiful, Y/N, so perfect, god I missed you, so bad…” he grunted, fighting for his life as he pressed you harder against the wall, cutting off your air supply in the most beautiful way.

“Sammy…” you whined into his neck, pulling him in closer to you. Arching your back off the wall in an attempt to take him further. Suddenly he pulls out of you, and you hiss with the loss of contact.

“Turn around, put your hands on the wall.” he instructs, spinning you away from him, and lifting your dress.

His arm comes around to your front, and gathers your slick rubbing tight circles over your clit as you feel him press into you from this new angle.

“Fuck me. I swear to god you feel better than I even remember.” he groans, grabbing a handful of your ass as he pounds into you. You wince as his fingers press into your bruised skin.

“Shit, baby, are you okay?” he asks, feeling you cringe against him, and you look over your shoulder to tell him to continue, but you watch as his eyes take in the state of your backside littered with tiny red bruises.

“What is this? What is this from?” he asks, continuing to fuck into you at a slower pace.

“Last night. Jake…He was a little jealous.” you pant out.

“What at the piano? So he put his hands on you?” he asks, a tinge of anger in his voice.

“No. Not his hands anyways… I asked him to. I wanted it. Just forget it Sammy. He’s not here. You are. You and me.” you plead.

“If he did that for last night, what’s he gonna do about this?” he says, plunging into you with more force.

“Fuck…I don’t know. Kill us both… He’s never going to know. This is it. The last time…” you whine. “Shit Sam… you feel so fucking good…”

“You’re right. The last time…” he says, pounding into you, the loud smack of your bodies echoing through the stairwell.

“Turn around. I want to see your face when I make you cum.” he growls.

“Let’s see if you still can.” you say playfully.

“Don’t fucking test me, baby.” he says as you turn back around, pressing your back to the cold brick wall.

He grabs both of your legs and pulls them to rest around his waist as he re-enters you, a moan drifting into the air.

“Goddamnit, how am I supposed to fucking live without this?” he grunts.

You arch into him as he hits your g-spot, and you tense around him.

“Squeeze me like that again, gonna memorize the way your pussy feels around me.” he says, fucking up into you harder.

“I’m…I’m close Sam…I’m…” you stammer.

“I know, I know you are. I fucking know you are, I can feel you. Want you to cum lover, want you to fucking soak me while I ruin you.” he says, his words pushing you over the ledge. His lips connect to your throat, licking and nipping and biting your skin as you pulse around him, the high you’d be chasing for so long finally within reach.

“Let go. Tell me who fucks you like this while you do it. Say it. Say my name as you cum baby.” he praises.

“You! You do Sam, fuck! You do!” you cry, letting his name fall from your lips over and over as the high takes over your body, squeezing him inside of you with everything you’ve got.

“I’m not gonna last much longer, I’ve fought it too long already.” he pants, slipping in and out of you with precision.

“Cum for me Sammy. Fucking fill me. Want to feel you everywhere.” you whisper against his lips.

A door opening below you, snaps the two of you from your trance, both of you immediately going silent.

“Y/N?” you hear Jake’s voice echo through the empty stairwell just a few floors below you.

Oh fuck. Oh fuck. Jake.

What have you done?

Sam slaps his hand across your mouth to stifle the sob ready to spill from your chest, causing you to clench around him.

Seconds later you hear the door slam closed, and Sam removes his hand. “We have seconds… and I want every last one.”

You let your lips crash to his as his hips snap into you one more time, “I need you Y/N. Need this. I always will…” and with that, you feel him spill into you, the warm sensation collecting inside of you, as his moans drift directly into your ear. You close your eyes and for just a moment you let the outside world fade away. He buries his face into your neck as he cums, holding you tightly against him.

When his grip on you loosens you let your legs drop to the floor as he pulls out. He reaches between you to pull your panties back where they belong, effectively catching the release ready to spill out of you at any second.

A sick feeling creeps into your stomach as you fix your dress, “Sam, I–” you start.

“I know. Fuck, I know. Go, quickly. Get straight into the shower. Don’t stop for anything. If you see him it’ll be too late.” he says, smoothing his sweaty hair away from his neck.

You turn to walk to the door, and just as you twist the handle, Sam’s hand catches yours. Your eyes flick to his, meeting his deep brown eyes for just a moment as he speaks, “I’ll never stop loving you, Y/N.”

Your fingertips glide over his as you slide out the door, and away from Sam for the last time.

—

SAM POV

The walk back to your room felt like it took one hundred years, pacing up and down hallways, losing track of which floor you were on, the elevators being at opposite ends of the hotel…your mind was racing and your bearings were lost, you had fucked up. Royally.

What the hell were you thinking? That this would just be okay? No. It wasn’t okay. It was bewildering. Breathtaking, the most high-end and insane sex you might have ever had…feeling her again was like seeing someone you thought was dead and gone, rise up and extend their hand to you, dragging you back down into purgatory with them.

Except this purgatory was heavenly. Blissful, erotic, and downright forbidden. And it was the sweetest thing you’d ever fucking tasted.

“Fuck!” You yelled as you lost your direction once again, finding yourself crouching on the floor on the complete wrong end of the building. You grabbed your hair in your hands, feeling like like you could rip out each and every strand, just to torture yourself for what you’d just done.

There was no justifying this one. No explaining yourselves. You’d cheated. On the best thing you’d found in your life. With your brother’s girl. God damnit…He was never going to speak to you again. This was going to ruin everything. Ruin your relationship with him, with Elle, maybe even Josh and Daniel…the band. Fuck. Right before tour.

You hoped to god that maybe, by some miracle, Jake wouldn’t find out. You’d rather live with the secret guilt than have him learn about it.

You must have been walking for a half hour at least before you finally found your room, pulling the key card from your wallet and unlocking the door. You sighed heavily in preparation, easing into the dark shadowy room, finding Elle fast asleep right where you left her. You gently covered her back up, tucking the heavy blankets around her. You walked over to the mini bar and grabbed a bottle of water, placing it beside her on the table, should she wake up and need it.

You took your shirt off and laid back down in bed, as far away from Elle as you could possibly get…the feeling of showing her affection making your stomach curdle. Maybe you should shower. Yes.

You let yourself stand under the steaming hot water, trying like hell to wash away the scent of sex and Y/N, still lingering heavily on your body. You normally wanted to bathe in it, bask in it, but right now you felt like you couldn’t scrub it off fast enough. You cleaned yourself over and over, until your skin was red and blotchy.

You finally decided that your skin may fall off the bone, so you stepped out and dried off, slipping back into the bed to let your body drift off into what would hopefully be the deepest sleep you’d ever had. But instead your mind wandered. Tortured itself. The memories of what you’d done, everything building up to it…it was so wrong.

You rolled over to look to Elle, her chest heaving slowly as she breathed, deep in her sleep. Your sweet, beautiful, strong and perfect girl, like nothing you’d ever imagined…and you stepped out on her. Did the ultimate thing that no trusting person should ever do. You’d made a truly grave mistake. And you knew you were going to pay for it.

—

JAKE POV

You tap the key card to the door barely letting the light flash before you throw it open. As you step into the room, you see Y/N rushing around the room, tossing her heels to the floor and throwing down her bag as she tried to make her way into the bathroom.

“Where the hell have you been?” you ask, “I’ve been looking everywhere for you. I texted you!”

You take notice of her flushed cheeks and her heaving chest as you step further into the room. Odd.

“I’ve been in here for a few minutes!” she says, pulling down the straps of her dress.

“No, actually you haven’t. I was just in here, and you weren’t. I thought maybe you were still in Sam and Elle’s room, but when I knocked no one answered the door.” you snap.

“Must have just missed me in passing then.” she says, letting her dress slide to the floor. Your eyes flash to her nipples, hard and standing at attention, her tits slightly swollen and red, her panties twisted to the side. Interesting.

“Well, I took the elevator straight here and you weren’t in here darlin’…thought to myself, ‘Huh, must have taken the stairs.’ A strange choice surely, but what the hell…Still no sign of you…” you say, placing your hand on her shoulder. Her skin is warm, warmer than usual, and her cheeks pink.

“Oh, I went up to the rooftop bar with Sam, he wanted to smoke a cigarette before he walked me back...” she says.

You swipe the tangled mess of hair from her bare shoulder, as you pull her body into yours and lean into her ear. “Really baby? Because you don't smell like cigarettes.” you pause, breathing her in, “You smell like sex.”

She turns away from your grasp, and makes strides towards her suitcase. “Did you forget what we were doing earlier?” she says, busying herself with the items in her suitcase.

“Oh, I surely didn’t forget what we were doing. But I’m finding myself more intrigued by what happened when I left. Because this...” you motion to her, “...Is not how I left you.” you snap.

“Nothing happened Jake. Elle felt sick, we all stopped. Sam walked me back to the room.” she says, motioning to the door with her hand. You bite your lips together at the use of her hands. Always her dead giveaway that she was lying, but you hoped to god you were wrong.

“But first a quick pit stop on the roof, right…” you correct.

“Oh, yeah…sorry. What’s with the inquisition? Aren’t you exhausted? Let’s go to bed…” she says, trying to change the subject. But you know. You know her better than anyone knows her. You know exactly how she looks when she's been satisfied.

“Suddenly I’m not tired at all…” you say, grabbing her hand and pulling her towards you.

You bring your face to her neck and inhale, but what you breathe in is not just her.

Fuck.

“You know, on second thought, you do smell like cigarettes. But you’re not the one that smoked them.” you say, releasing her to stumble back a few steps.

“Yeah, I told you. Sam smoked.” she says, defensively.

“Right, so then what the fuck was his mouth doing on your neck? Your throat? Your chest?! I can smell him all over you Y/N!” you yell, gesturing to her throat.

Her face flashes red as she realizes what you’re asking.

“What are you insinuating Jacob?” she snaps.

“I think you know goddamn good and well what i’m insinuating Y/N! Answer the fucking question!” you yell.

She doesn’t answer, and instead faces away from you, cementing her guilt.

“Tell me I’m fucking wrong, Y/N! Tell me it’s not what I think! Tell me it's the alcohol messing with my head, because surely it can’t be what I think it is!”

“Stop it Jake!” she screams, a tear springing from her eye.

You step back, and look her up and down, her disheveled appearance finally clicking in your brain. Shock is surely painted all over your face. They didn’t just makeout, no. He fucked her. He fucked her minutes ago.

“Should have known the second I turned my back you would do this. Should have never gone up to their room. In fact, it was never about Elle was it? Just used her as a pawn to get what you wanted. Always just getting what you want, huh, Y/N? You two probably fucking planned this didn’t you?” you seethe.

“Yesterday all cuddled up on the fucking piano… Should have fucking known. I knew this shit would happen.” you snap.

She recoils at your statement, crying harder than you’ve probably ever seen her, but you feel nothing.

“Did he fuck you real good, Y/N? Remember all those special places you just love so much?” you say, shaking your head at her.

“Jake, stop! We…we talked about it! I thought you–” she pleads, trying to grab your hands, but you yank them away from her, completely repulsed by her touch.

“We did?! When exactly did I say it was okay to fuck my brother behind my back? I may have been drinking but I’ll be goddamned if I would ever agree to that! Where’d he fuck you? The bathroom? The elevator? The roof? The stairwell?” you snap, seeing her eyes flash to yours.

“Oh, the stairs…The fucking stairwell I was just in. Probably heard me call your name as he was fucking you, huh? Few more flights and I could have seen you whoring it up with my brother? Fucking sick.” you say, pushing off the dresser, beginning to gather a few things into your pockets.

“You have two seconds…two seconds to tell me the truth. Tell me what you’ve done or I’m fucking out of here.” you say, locking eyes with her.

Her eyes blink away the tears rapidly falling, and her lip trembles, but no sound comes out.

“One.” you say, grabbing your things from the bed.

“Jake…” she breathes.

“Tell me right fucking now Y/N…Say it out loud. Did you fuck him yes or no…” you press, knowing the answer, but wanting to hear her say it.

You make your way over to her, grabbing her chin between your thumb and pointer finger, as you look into her eyes that are frantically searching yours.

“Two.” you snap, but still no words leave her lips. She’s done it, and didn’t even have the decency to admit it.

You push her face away, spotting the necklace hanging around her neck, gripping the chain in your fist and snapping the metal as you free it from her. You throw it against the wall as hard as you can as you make your way to the door. “Fucking means nothing! Nothing!”

Her sobs rip through the room, completely devastated, but she deserves it. She completely betrayed you.

“No! Jake, please! Where are you going?” she begs, tears streaming down her sobbing body.

You swallow harshly, “Anywhere you’re not. Do not fucking call me. Do not text me. Disappear for all I care.” and you slip through the door, slamming it shut behind you.

—

Your world feels like it’s crashing down around you the second the door shuts. You can hear her cries through the heavy wooden door, and you feel your heart twist in your chest.

You frantically pull your phone from your pocket, but as your screen lights up with a photo of her you quickly shove it back into your pocket with a disgusted huff.

Trekking to the elevator you press the button for floor eleven, thanking yourself for swiping Josh’s extra room key earlier. You are completely out of your mind as the elevator makes its way up the few floors.

Stepping out with only your phone and your wallet you search for his room, completely unsure of what you’re even going to say to him when you do barge in. Tapping the key to his door you are met with pitch black darkness and the sound of his snores.

You shut the door quietly behind you, and kick off your shoes, making your way to the small couch near the window calling the small expanse of cushions home for the night. He hasn’t heard you enter, and you’re definitely not going to wake him up and explain all of this.

Instead you lay down onto your side and try to close your eyes, but the image of her and Sam in the hotel room tonight is still fresh in your mind. You would have never agreed to any of this had you known. The part that was eating you alive was the fact she wanted him enough to even consider sleeping with him when you left.

Did you really not satisfy her? Had you ever?

Rolling to your back, you pushed the images from your head, but were met with a new image of her face just a few short minutes ago. Red, puffy, completely distraught. What did she expect? You to not notice?

You felt your eyes well with tears. Surely this wasn’t the same girl you’d loved your whole life. The same girl who said she loved you just the same? The girl who promised to love no other?

A tear slipped down your cheek as you brought your phone to life, once again being met with the image of her, just a few weeks ago at the cabin, curled up in front of the fireplace in nothing but your flannel.

Your heart constricted and a choked sob left your chest. How could she do this to you? Had she not tortured you enough? When was enough, enough? How could the two of you ever come back from this? You half expected her to call you, text you, even though you told her not to. Telling her to disappear? How could you be so cruel? How could she be so cruel?

Then, your mind drifted to Sam. Your own flesh and blood. The ultimate betrayal. You had been kind enough to agree to the things that happened in your presence. Something you didn’t even have to do. In fact you had even given him a little more than anticipated, and how did he repay you?

You flipped to your other side, repositioning the pillow underneath you, hoping and praying you would fall asleep soon, and be taken somewhere else. Somewhere where none of this existed. But as your eyes finally grew heavy, your mind was filled with her, and the broken look on her face, as if she already knew it was over.

—

In his drunken stupor Josh didn’t close the blinds and the blazing hot morning sun peered in through the window promptly at 6:00am. You had managed a few hours of sleep on the stiff couch, and through Josh’s snoring, but you knew you had to slip out before he ever knew you were here. The last thing you wanted to do was answer his questions.

You pulled yourself up from the couch, and slid your shoes on, making a quick stop in the bathroom before quietly slipping out the door. Your phone buzzed in your pocket, alerting you to your flight in a few hours. Fuck I still have to pack.

Your mind raced as you made your way back to your room, wondering what you would find when you got there. Your heart was pounding as you opened the door, finding the room silent and a complete mess. It was dark, just a small peek of light shining through the curtains. Just enough to find your girl in one of your t-shirts, and completely wrapped around one of your flannels, clearly falling asleep as she cried into it.

Your heart ached at the sight of her, mostly because you weren’t sure if she was your girl still. Or if you even still wanted her to be. You took one last look at her, letting yourself have a few more seconds to feel sorry for yourself, and then you looked away. Now it was time to get serious.

You walked over to the curtains, pulling them open to let the bright light in, and searching for your suitcase. You picked it up and tossed it on the bed, before collecting your things and throwing them inside with no care on whether or not you would wake her. She hadn’t considered you, why should you consider her?

The commotion caused Y/N to sit up suddenly, looking around the room. Her eyes were still red and puffy, and you’re sure she had only fallen asleep what must have been minutes prior to your arrival.

“Jake…” she groaned.

You ignored her, staying focused on your task, packing your things neatly into the metal suitcase.

You made your way to the bathroom, collecting up your toiletries and returning to the room.

“Jake?” she asks, a little louder.

You take a deep breath and look at her. “Yes?” you snap.

“Can you– Can we talk?” she begs.

“Are you ready to tell the truth?” you ask.

She looks at you, searching for any words that could possibly explain her situation.

“I said, are you ready to tell the truth…” you quip.

You grab a change of clothes from your suitcase, quickly stripping off your dirty, slept in clothes and exchanging them for the clean items. The items that smell like her favorite laundry detergent. That she washed and folded for you, just for this trip. You swallow heavily, pushing the sentiment to the side of your mind.

Nothing leaves her lips, and her eyes begin to blink rapidly at the harshness of your tone.

“Thought you wanted to talk.” you seethe.

“I do!” she begs.

“Then fucking say something!” you shout. “It’s simple Y/N. Did you fuck my brother, yes or no?” you ask, condescendingly.

A tear rolls down her cheek, a quiet few seconds passing before she finally whispers, “Yes.”

“I fucking knew it.” you say, slamming your suitcase shut, and pulling the zipper.

“Jake I–” she starts, before you cut her off.

“Do you love him?” you snap.

She stares at you wide eyed.

“Answer the question.” you say.

She shakes her head in confusion, and scrambles to stand from the bed. She walks over to you, placing her hand on your arm. Her skin on yours feels like hot coals, burning you in the worst way.

“Yes or no, Y/N.” you say, snapping your arm away from her.

“I don’t know! No! I used to love him, I think! I don’t anymore! It was a mistake, Jake!” she cries.

“You don’t know!? Well, here’s an easy one for you…Do you love me?” you ask, pulling your suitcase to the floor.

“Yes! Of course I do! You know I love you Jake! I love you more than anything!” she shouts.

“Really?! You could have fucking fooled me! I’m pretty sure love doesn’t look like getting railed by my brother in a fucking stairwell while I search the entire goddamn hotel for you! Then trying to lie and say nothing happened!” you screamed.

“Jake! It wasn’t like that! It–It just happened! We were drinking and smoking, none of us were in our right minds! I don’t know what happened! It didn’t mean anything it just…I don’t know…I fucked up! I don’t know!” she trailed off, trying to collect her thoughts.

“I don’t understand Y/N! I give and I give and I give, and it’s still not enough! You still want him! Why? Why am I not enough?! How can you stand there and tell me that you love me, and then do something like this? How can I ever trust you again?” you shout.

“You are enough Jake! I’m just an idiot! I fucked up. I will never forgive myself. Please, please just stay! We can fix this! I will fix this!” she cries.

“As far as I’m concerned, this…” you pause, motioning between the two of you, “...is fucking destroyed. There is no fix. Do you get that?” you say.

She all but crumbles onto the bed, “Jake…please, you–you don’t mean that…”

You roll your suitcase to the door, and twist the handle, “I do. I do mean it.”

“Are you trying to tell me that you weren’t going to sleep with Elle last night? I saw you! I saw you two together. You wanted her just as bad as she wanted you! The whispering! The noises!” she says.

Heat rises into your face, as you let your words simmer in your mind before letting them fall like razors from your tongue. “Of course I fucking wanted to! Fuck we almost did! But you know what would have happened first? I would have fucking told you. I would have made one hundred percent sure that you were okay with it. Sam too. Then and only then, would I have actually considered it. But you know what? Given the circumstances, maybe I still can. What’s fair is fair, right Y/N?” you say with a shrug. You watch her visibly recoil at the thought.

“Jake! No!” she begs, pulling herself up from the bed.

“What? It’s okay for you to go behind my back, but it’s not okay for me to go behind yours? Interesting rules in your fucked up little game, Y/N…” you seethe, turning towards her.

“It was a mistake…Please don’t go…I’m so sorry.” she cries.

You shake your head, completely distraught over her every painfilled word. It’s then you spot the necklace you threw so carelessly the night before, crumpled and twisted on the floor, causing your own eyes to well with tears. You flip your sunglasses down over your eyes, and swallow back the lump in your throat.

You turn to look at her one last time. “It’s too late for ‘I’m sorry’, you should have thought about this while you were screaming someone else's name in a stairwell like a whore… I have to go. Need to go pay someone a visit.”

“Jake, please! Please, you can’t tell her! She–Let Sam tell her. Please!” she hardly manages through her constant tears.

“I’ll take that into consideration…” you say facetiously.

“I’ll do anything! Anything! Just don’t go…I…”

“No...You know what? I think you’ve done enough.” you snap.

It guts you as the words leave your mouth. The finality of your words rolling around in your head as you force yourself to step through the door and let it close behind you.

As your feet drag you down the hallway, you press the button for the elevator and as the doors slide open you finally know how it feels to be on the giving end of leaving.

Chapter 20

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milawritesstuff · 1 year

Note

That one scene in sex education between Adam and Eric, it was so fucking hot when they were enemies, here is the link if you haven’t seen it https://youtu.be/7kkVoQPT0SU, pablo gavi smut of it but instead of school it’s like you are on rival teams and then one day are admitted into the same team, also a universe where girls and boys play together <3

A/N: Ok I combined these two and kind of switched it up a bit from the requested. Hope you like it.

Warnings: Smut

•••

You rolled your eyes as the whole table laughed. Your eyes met with Gavi’s who had just finished saying a joke that truly wasn’t even funny. He quickly noticed your reaction and made a face at you. You flipped him off and returned to your food.

You had known Gavi for years, first meeting him when your club went to play in Barcelona against his. He hates what you were from Real Madrid. You were kids when you first met and a lot of your friends had left for other clubs and for that reason you were the one he didn’t like. Every few months your group would get together, this time it turned out was in Madrid since Gavi had traveled with his team for a clasico.

-So who do you think is going to win?- He asked you as he raised an eyebrow. You scoffed but he didn’t let you answer. -Actually, I mean, by how much do you think your little team is going to lose by?- He asked with a laugh.

-We’ll see tomorrow, Gavi. Don’t come crying when Vini kicks your ass.- You taunted him knowing how easy it was to rile him up.

-It’s Pablo for you, I already told you only my friends get to call me Gavi.-

You rolled your eyes. -Half of Spain calls you Gavi, what are you talking about?

-But they’re my fans. And you’re not.- He responded.

By this point the rest of the table had turned to other conversations completely tired of yours and Gavi’s constant bickering.

-I would be crazy to be a fan of such a child.- You said despite being his age. He looked at you angrily. -At least I have fans.-

The next day you were at Santiago Bernabeu for the clasico and couldn’t believe Real had lost. You didn’t want to see Gavi because he would be even more obnoxious after the win. You tried to leave right after the end of the game but as you were walking to your car you heard him behind you.

-You are a sore loser, you know?- You turned around to face him. -What do you want, Pablo?-

He shrugged his shoulders. -I just wanted to see your face.- You looked at him confused. -Don’t get any ideas, I wanted to see your face after losing.-

You rolled your eyes. -I would be ashamed after winning the way your team did.- You blurted out trying to get back at him.

Before you could say anything he pulled you by the arm and into a nearby closet where they kept balls and other equipment. The closet was lit by the small bits of light that streamed in through the door cracks.

-What the hell, Pablo.- You felt as his body came close to yours.

-Why do you hate me so much?- He finally asked. His light brown eyes looking down at you. You put your hands on his chest and tried to push him away.

-What are you talking about? You’ve always hated me. Since the day we met you won’t stop calling me names, telling people I’m not good, calling me a niñata, telling me I’m ugly.-

You heard him chuckle.

-Fuck you, Pablo.- You finally said. He continued to giggle as you grabbed some balls that were nearby and threw them at him.

-You wish you could.- He said.

-Ouch!- You heard him yell but you didn’t care. You were letting your anger out. Throwing everything at him including balls and cones.

-You’re so cocky. I don’t understand why half of Spain is so in love with you when you’re the most obnoxious person I have ever met.- You continued your rant.

-I’m pretty sure it’s more than just half of Spain.- He said causing you to become even more angry. You had nothing else to throw at him and all you could do was begin to slap his chest.

Suddenly you felt his body come closer to you and he grabbed your wrists stopping your assault on him. In a swift move he turned you and him and you were now pushed against the closet door.

Your arms over your head as he continued to grab onto your wrists. His face now close to yours and you could feel his breathe on you.

-Tell me you don’t hate me.- He said. You rolled your eyes. -I can’t lie.- You said point blank.

He stared at you. You gulped trying to keep your tough girl act up but you were failing miserably. Maybe you did like him, maybe he wasn’t so intolerable. No. No. This is Pablo Gavira, the boy you have hated since childhood.

As a million thoughts ran through your mind you were startled by his lips attacking yours. -Pablo, what the fuck.- You said causing him to pull away. His eyes looking down at yours. But as the two of you stood there now you were the one who pushed yourself onto him so your lips could meet.

His body tumbled closer to you as he let go of your wrists finally and you felt his hands on your waist. Your back against the cold door.

You felt as his hands now traveled to your ass pushing you closer to him, your middles pressing onto each other. -Jump.- He said and you didn’t hesitate. You wrapped your legs around his body as he continued to kiss you.

He was still sweaty and somehow that turned you on even more. His mouth went from your lips to your neck. Your hands around his head. Your eyes closed feeling as he nibbled down your neck. -Pablo.- You moaned and you could feel him smiling.

His mouth traveled down south again and he was now on your breasts leaving small nibbles on what was exposed from your shirt. Before you knew it he had taken his jersey off and managed to take your pants down. You tugged at the waistband of his shorts and he pulled them down allowing them to fall at the base of his legs on the ground.

As he continued to kiss you, you could feel his tip touching your entrance. -Tell me you hate me.- He said in between kisses. -I hate you so much.- You said.

His hands around your ass holding you up and in one swift movement you felt as he entered you. You moaned in pleasure. -I hate you so much Pablo Gavira.- You said again. His hands grabbing onto you with so much strength you knew you would have bruises tomorrow.

You could feel him thrusting into you. Each time going in deeper and hitting your spot. Your hands now wrapped around his neck trying to give yourself enough momentum to move on him.

His mouth went onto your breasts as he took one into his mouth. It felt like pure heaven.

-I’ve never hated someone like you.- He said as he whimpered. Your bottom lip in between your teeth trying to hold in any noise you wanted to make because his thrusting was driving you wild. He moved one hand away from your behind and slowly caressed your lips causing your teeth to let you.

-I want to hear you. I want to hear how much you hate me.-

He pushed into you one more time and you felt a wave of pleasure travel throughout your body. You held on to his neck and moaned one last time. -Pablo.-

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ivebeencursedbygays · 5 months

Text

Kai: But when all hope seemed lost, I had an epiphany!

Kai, earlier: I'm going to throw myself into the sea.

Zane: Kai, you can do anything!

Kai: Anything?

Zane: Anything!

Kai, holding a torch: ANYTHING?!?!

Zane: Wait, not that!

Cole: Guess who just found out the difference between wax paper and parchment paper the hard way?

Nya: Wait, what’s the difference?

Cole: One you can use in the oven safely, and the other you can also use in the oven... if the thing you are trying to make happens to be fire.

Kai: Time sensitive question how flirt boy.

Pixal: Throw rocks at he.

Cole: Hot Dogs.

Morro: Kill him.

Kai: Thanks guys.

Nya: Clownery. Tomfoolery. Absolute fuckery, I am going to revoke your life privileges.

Pixal: You use emojis like a straight person.

Kai: That’s literally the worst thing anyone has ever said about me.

Kai: Hey, random question, what are your favorite flowers?

Jay: Peonies, why?

Kai:

Jay: Were you going to get me flowers?

Kai:

Jay:

Kai: ᶦᵗ’ˢ ᵃ ᵖᵒˢˢᶦᵇᶦˡᶦᵗʸ

Jay: Wow, that was quick thinking on that phony sacrifice stuff.

Nya: Oh, that was all real.

Jay: Wait, you were trying to help them kill us?!

Nya: If I’m gonna be sacrificed, I’m gonna do it right.

*The gang is about to do something dangerous*

Cole: Shouldn’t someone give a pep talk?

Kai: Go ahead.

Cole: Be careful.

Cole: Don’t die.

Pixal: *Holds back a laugh*

Kai: Great. We’re all bloody inspired.

Jay: FIGHT ME, YOU NERD ASS SLUT!

Cole: At least try to sound slightly more sophisticated when you threaten someone.

Jay: Oh, I'm sorry. I should ask; dost thou want to engage in a duel, my good bitch?

Cole: Somehow that's worse.

Kai: I can’t believe my birth certificate says F...

Kai: ...How did I fail being born?

Cole: Look at me straight in the eyes and tell me the truth, Zane!

Zane: You can’t expect me to look into your eyes and be straight.

Pixal: You were wise to seek help from the world's most deadly weapon.

Pixal: It's me.

Cole, in a room with Jay, Kai, and Nya: It’s calm in here.

Cole: It scares me…

Nya: Fight me!

Kai, standing behind them and holding a knife: *mouths* Do not.

Zane: Nya got into a fight.

Kai: That’s bad.

Kai:

Kai: Did she win?

Cole: Jay, I don’t think I can handle any more of your tomfuckery.

Jay: Oh yeah? Well I can keep going until you’re all tomfuckered out!

Kai: Is that a gun?!

Jay: It's not what it looks like!

Kai: It looks like a gun!

Jay: Okay, maybe it is what it looks like, but in my defense, it doesn't have anymore bullets, so I technically can't shoot it anymore.

Kai: ...ANYMORE?!

Kai, to the Squad: I’d die for you.

Jay: Then perish.

Pixal: You will.

Nya: Please don’t.

Cole: Cool.

Zane: I’d die for you first.

Nya: If you got arrested what would be the charges?

Jay: Theft.

Zane: Disturbing the peace.

Cole: Aggravated assault.

Kai: Arson.

Pixal: All of the above. In that order, probably.

Nya: You know what I asked Santa for Christmas this year?

Jay: If you say me, I swear I’ll—

Nya: You? What? No, I asked him for that cool Ninjago Lego set we saw in Target!

Cole, texting Zane: Zane there’s a moth on the outside of the bathroom door can you get rid of it?

Cole: Pls hurry because I’m going to cry

Cole: Zane

Zane: Zane is dead. You’re next. Love, Moth.

Pixal: A sprite is anything not static.

Jay: A sprite is a variable object, be it 2d or 3d.

Cole: A sprite is a fucking soda.

Cole: You god damn geekass bastards.

Kai: *sighs* I have no friends...

Jay:

Jay: *coughs* Bitch, what am I? A roach?!

Zane: *tapping fingers on table*

Cole: *taps fingers back furiously*

Jay: …What’s going on?

Pixal: Morse code. They’re talking.

Zane: -.-- ..- .-. / - …. . / -.-. ..- - . … -

Cole: *slams hands on table* YOU TAKE THAT BACK!

Jay: *finds half a watermelon at Whole Foods*

Jay, holding it up for everyone to see: LIES!

Kai: Don't break someone's heart, they only have one.

Nya: Break one of their bones instead, they have 206 of them.

Kai, singing: I don’t want a lot for Christmas, there is just one thing I need—

Zane: A family.

Cole: A better love life.

Nya: Mental stability.

Pixal: *clueless* Bagels?

Zane: Don't joke about murder. I was murdered once and it offends me.

Jay: I'm sorry. Please talk to me.

Kai:

Jay: Hello? World's most amazing person?? Sweet pea? Precious cinnamon roll that's too good for this world, too pure?

Kai: 'Sorry' doesn't bring back my fucking M&Ms.

Nya: You think that’s cringe? Moms around the world wait 9 months just to end up naming their kid Jay.

Jay: Hey, fuck you.

Jay: Of course I have a lot of pent-up rage, you fool! I've been the same height since I was twelve!

Pixal: Why is Kai crying?

Zane: They saw a leaf on the sidewalk and-

Kai: IT LOOKED SO CRUNCHY!

Pixal: Please don’t say what I think you’re gonna say-

Kai: AND WHEN I STEPPED ON IT THERE WAS NO CRUNCH!

Pixal: NO, NOT THAT!

Zane: Hey, what have you two been up to?

Nya: We were helping Kai write his vows, but he kicked us out because Cole was making inappropriate suggestions.

Cole: How is “Jay, I love your sweet ass” inappropriate?

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oolathurman · 1 year

Text

Xyraan and Jarrok thing. Since this is the first time I’m talking about them in forever, Xyraan is an OC of mine whom I love, she’s Jarrok’s sugar baby, and Jarrok is a sith warrior who belongs to a friend who afaik is no longer active on tumblr?

tw sexual assault implications.

One more gala, one more dress. One more pair of shoes with red lacquered soles, and she glowed brighter than anyone in the ballroom. “You’re the best,” she said, kissing her darling Sith on the cheek. She had to bend down to do so; she was already taller than him without heels and now she towered. Jarrok grunted before guiding her by the waist to the dance floor, though no one was currently dancing. Instead, there was socializing. So. Much. Socializing.

It wouldn’t have been so tiring if so many of them weren’t backstabbing shits. And while he could carry out the conversations of Sith interested in their own wellbeing, it was a skill that he learned. For her, it seemed natural to flirt and compliment and butter up anyone she spoke with. That was, after all, how she made her way to his bed.

He wondered at times, what would have happened if she were born Force-Sensitive. There was little doubt that she could have been a great Sith were that the case. But she was soft, and certainly not ambitious by Sith standards at least. All she cared for was comfort and happiness, not power nor strength.

Maybe she wouldn’t have made a good Sith after all.

It hardly mattered, he decided, dismissing his imagination to turn his focus to the gala. She had disappeared into the crowd, no doubt to make conversation with some of the other partygoers. Only a moment later he heard her laugh, along with the laughter of three or so other individuals, so he picked up two flutes of champagne and made his way over to her.

“My lord, there you are!” she beamed as she saw him approach. She plucked a glass from his hand and placed another kiss on his cheek. Her lips parted, but before she could speak…

“Xyraan?”

She froze for a moment before turning slowly towards the speaker. A tall human cyborg man, taller than her, with wide shoulders and a predatory smile. “I thought I recognized you. How have you been?”

“Lord Ortur, what a surprise! I didn’t know you’d be here,” she smiled. Yet this smile…

She knew how to fake being entertained, she knew how to pretend to be nice. It was what she was good at. This wasn’t one of those smiles. Their conversation continued, and she had begun to cling to his arm, newly manicured nails digging into cloth and skin.

She’s nervous, he realized. So nervous she’s almost shaking in his arms. Not even Darths made her do that. Yet some no-name Sith he had never heard of has her stumbling over her words.

“Well, perhaps I will see you again, should fortune find me,” the cyborg chuckled before offering a slight bow. “It would be good to catch up.”

“It’d be a pleasure,” Xyraan forced a polite laugh. As the other Sith turned to walk away, she turned to face Jarrok, pale and shaking, excusing herself and practically running from the three other very confused Sith standing before them. He offered a half-assed apology before following.

Jarrok was stopped three times for conversation that he immediately dismissed himself from, but some of these older Sith were too damn good at keeping a conversation they forced on to you.

He found her in the stairwell. Her shoulders were hunched, shaking between sobs, and a small figure on the holocall soothed her the best they could.

“That— that bastard was here, he— he was here, he came up to me, and— and started talking with me, and—“

“Woah woah wait, Xixi.” Jarrok only knew one person that’d call her Xixi. Davi Mingxin, the zeltron individual from Nar Shaddaa. “Is this that Sith that…” Their voice trailed off when Xyraan nodded and her crying began anew. “… Shit.”

Davi let her cry longer, continuing to sooth her or at least damn well try. “You… wanna come over and crash here for a while? I can’t get rid of that man for you, but you know I got your back.” She sniffed and nodded, mumbling something Jarrok couldn’t make out. “I’ll start cleanin’ up the place for when you wanna come over, ‘kay?” She hiccuped and nodded. “I got you. Love you, girly.” She mumbled something back before hanging up.

For a moment he stood in stunned silence. And it ached when she flinched at the sound of the ring on his hand clanging against the metal stairwell. It ached when she whipped her head around, fear in her eyes and cheeks stained with tears. It ached when she did her damndest to smile at him. “My lord! I didn’t see you there.” Even now she was getting to her feet, wiping away tears, doing what she could to put on that perfect self that now shielded her from whatever she feared.

“I… I need to leave immediately,” she said, voice hoarse and shaking. “You’re welcome to stay, of course, but I’ll be heading back to the apartment. There’s a friend who needs my help, and—“

“I heard,” he said quietly. “Go back to the apartment. Don’t worry about the party.”

She did her best to smile again before leaving.

#xyraan #davi mingxin #(just a mention of them)#jarrok #my stuff

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bunni-blurbs · 2 years

Text

The Greatest High Pt.3

Mya: Locked in the bathroom, a tiny tap, followed by a loud come out! Made her want to sink further in, damn her for crying, damn her for not being professional enough to handle this trip with her boss, turned friend, turned boss again. No way they could ever, after all the bad blood, the lies, rumors, and betrayal, it’s like they were asking for punishment. Mya, please?! Talk to me. His voice was demanding but with a softness to it. I don’t want to talk about this! Why?! We are high in the air, no one can hear, just come out and face me! A burst of courage washed over her as she unlocked the bathroom door and walked right up to him. He towered over her in height, but she felt she was just as tall as him at that moment! You dated her! Why her?! She screamed and her tiny hands began an attack on his chest. I asked myself that every day, it was my biggest regret, it almost cost me everything, I worked so damn hard to get, that we worked so damn hard to build. She could hear regret, despair, and pain in his voice, could feel his heartbeat on her hands that had stopped their assault, but still didn’t move away. I’m sorry, I failed you, I saw how you looked at me that day, you pitied me. He stepped close to her, and she swallowed hard. Dropping her hands after his sudden invasion of her personal space. I only ever want to see... his voice trailed off, see what? Her hands rushed to pull him back to face her. I never pitied you; I was just hurt for you. I could feel your heartbreaking, the whole world was watching, and you held it together. But I heard you, inside here, she pointed at his heart. Pity means I feel sorry for you, I had empathy for your pain. She sighed and grabbed the ashtray with the joint they shared earlier. She was getting the hang of this flying thing, she had smoked less than ever before, or was it just this conversation thinking to herself for just a moment, she sat down on the couch in the living space, sparked up, held it for a few seconds and exhaled the smoke into the area around her, hoping to hide her face as she began, remember when I took those 3 days off? Yea...why? He sat down next to her. I got married and divorced in three days, on paper you know it’s gone but in this heart of mine, walls, more walls. Taking another puff to block his intense stare. I thought I loved him, though I knew him, he only wanted my money, bled me dry for half a million, and disappeared, she laughed but it was dripping with bitterness. I let him keep the money, but he was so far gone by then. The guy you said you needed to be removed because he was a threat to the company, I would have killed...she looked down to see his fist clench tightly to hide his sudden anger, which confused her but made her feel safe at the same time. I needed him gone, I’m sorry, I lied. Why didn’t you tell me, I could have... Coulda, woulda, shoulda, but he would have still had my money and maybe really hurt the company. FUCK THE COMPANY! It’s you...

Alex: It’s you... We have been friends for years, so why not tell me this. He looked at her half angry, half puzzled, halfway sad that she went through this alone. Would you have cared? The words cut him deep and somewhat caught him off guard. You were so far up her ass by then, she rolled her eyes. He caught her doing it just before the smoke filled the space between them again, thinking to himself, was it an impulsive or a jealous act? She whispered why her? Taking the joint from her, it was his turn to fill the area with smoke to hide behind. His voice barely above a whisper, why do you care? I don’t, she snapped back. He stood right above her, staring down at her, why you care, you want me for yourself or something? Smoking and blowing the smoke off to the side so that he could still see her beautiful face. I need pussy on the menu, if that’s the case, he taunted her. She hated it when he teased her in that way, she bit his head off about two years ago, come to think of it. Was that why? Did she? His eyes darkened with a new purpose in mind, as she shot up to her feet, from her lounging position, to begin her protest, he pinned her body next to the wall by the couch. She pushed at him, but he refused to budge, He whispered, tell me! His voice was low but still commanding. What were you going to say? She said with an eye roll. Don’t turn this on me, you are deflecting like you always do! He twirled a loose curl around his finger as he spoke, burying yourself in work, keeps you from feeling, our former business partner would tell me you would never entertain me, I was barking up the wrong tree, you weren’t that into sex, saying all of it came from your mouth, was any of it true? Or were you saying it to throw me off? Move! Make me? his voice came out a little husky and low. She pushed him but barely moved him by throwing her whole body into him, she caught him off guard, he didn't know how long he had wanted to feel her until he gripped her hips for support, resisting the need to feel his way to his own pleasure, she was so soft. Heat spread across his face, traveling and landing somewhere deep in his core. He was a man who knew what he wanted, could you really blame him? His life had been a mess, so why not take this chance for once? Suddenly realized that he had always wanted to touch her body like this, his fingertips featherlike as he traced a line down her back, gripping her hips slightly. He dropped his hands, and raised them slowly as he backed away, I’m sorry! He needed a tuck job in the worse way, his other head had thoughts on what should happen next. And not a single one of those had anything to do with a fucking apologizing, that’s for damn sure! Everything screamed, take what you want, but she was... His brain was interrupted by small delicate hands pulling him close by his shirt. Pulling him down to her 5′2 frame. Her voice was breathy as she whispered, just let me see one thing, her lips touched his lips, cautiously but firm. He leaned down, cupping her butt with his forearm, lifting her up to his 6′2 frame. She wrapped her legs around him as his tongue explored a mouth he so desperately wanted to kiss. He pushed her back against the wall, sliding his free hand up her thigh, wake up man, she is your friend, your natural instincts are beginning to kick in, and you will fuck her right here right now. He would have waxed that ass any day of the week, all she had to do was ask. She pulled back and he lowered her to the ground, stepping back. He turned away to hide his growing need to have all of her, sit down, take off your pants, I want to see. He was walking across the room but crossed the room quickly to be even closer than before, his hand grabbed both sides of her face, running his thumb around her full lips. Ladies first, like I said, I would like some pussy, if I’m going to be claimed. He didn’t want to say it, but he wanted her to be pissed just a little bit, letting her face go, with a smirk he said she gave me pussy first. Can you top it? Does it even get wet or is work the only thing that revs your engine? Or does work only get you going because you want to fuck me? Now, I’m going to sit right here on this couch, but you're going take off your dress and show me, raising his eyebrow as he sat down, maybe a little work motivation will help you, boss orders. His arm stretched on both sides of the couch. He watched her unzip the dress and step out. Bra, no panties? He licked his lips as passion threatened to boil over his self-control, she had that effect on him. He said it out loud and far from his head. She smirked, I hate underwear, I wear them for business. So is this pleasure he said as stood briefly to grab her to join him on the couch, locking lips with her once again before she pulled away to say, I will sign the contract, this will only exist in the air. I don’t have time for your brain to get back into work mode, licking his thumb, he lowered it, brushing tight circles over her clit, his thumb slid so easy, didn’t even need a pre-lick from him, she was soaked, his mouth watered at the thought of having her. Don’t make this harder on me, just stay with me. He whispered against her ear. His thumb made circles with the rhythm of his words, FUCK THE COMPANY, just fuc... He had laid her down on the couch as the sound muffled from his mouth replacing his thumb, she gasped, as her back began to arch but he pulled back, don’t cum for me just yet, can you handle it, bosses orders he whispered as he pushed his two fingers deep inside of her, creating a slow intoxicating rhythm, that was turning her into puddy in his hands. I think it’s only fair, you could have told me long before I met her. That I could have this sweet pussy, his tongue swiped lazily over her clit as his fingers curved slightly, AHHHH, yes, but don’t you dare cum on me. I can feel you begging, you are a greedy girl, but I will feed you, he could feel her gripping tighter, if you don’t relax, he kissed a line up her thigh to every word he said. Your kiss, going, kiss, to, kiss, cum... Then what will I have to do for you disobeying your boss?!

Mya: Was this man trying to kill her? She had waited for this moment for so long! She couldn’t take much more, it had been so long, too damn long if you asked her, and self-gratification isn’t as good as some real dick or a head game that was sending her out of this world. It could move in and out she chuckled in her head. But then he pissed her off, how dare he rub in her face that his ex-wife gave him pussy and she didn’t. He never even looked in her direction, acted interested. But his voice was low, it dripped with sex appeal, power, control, and confidence. She was soaked the minute he started talking in that low tone. it was like liquid heat pouring into her core, from the second he rubbed that tight circle around her clit, her body was ready to gush. His hands were strong, but it was gentle enough to push her closure and closure. She moaned, why are you doing this to me? Through gritted teeth he spoke, I could have had this, but you kept it from me, so I will deny you sweet release for a bit longer. But he hooked his fingers just how she liked, just how she needed. How did he know, every single move he needed to make, he made without her saying a word, it was delicious, so good it was damn near sinful? It felt like he was trying to drag the orgasm from her even though denial was his punishment for her silence all these years. PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE, she squeezed her thigh together, you have to stop if you really don’t want me to cum, I can’t handle it anymore. His fingers stilled and he pulled them from her slowly, sucking her essence from his fingers as he looked into her eyes. His gaze felt hot and invasive like he could see all she was feeling in a simple glance, dropping her gaze from his. He lifted her head, speaking low and lustfully, no look at me and answer me this, do you want me to make you cum? Leaning in he kissed her hard on the mouth. opening her mouth giving his tongue permission to explore her mouth to deepen their passionate kiss. She could taste herself on his lips, it just intensified the feelings boiling over inside of her. Yes, she mumbled against his lips, dropping to his knee, he spoke slowly but strained I want you right here on the edge of this couch, she moved quickly there. Kissing up her legs, he bit her lightly as he said, legs up. Gripping her thighs, she spread her legs for him, he feasted upon her as if eating his last meal, and he left her screaming as he pushed two digits deep inside her. He pumped with intent like he was searching for something, rushing to find it. She gasped, tears fell from her eyes, ALEX! MYA CUM ON... If the boss says cum, you cum, okay?! Hooking his fingers in that delicious way that she loved so much, she screamed. the vivid colors danced behind her closed lids as she slid blissfully into her orgasm. He pulled away after a few licks that sent aftershocks mixed with chills all over her body. This couch is ruined, I can pay for the next cleaning! He chuckled stop trying to go back to work Mya, I like the Mya who wants to get a little nasty with me. He pulled her on top of him, and they were face to face, you seemed to have needed that a smirk danced across his face followed by a look of pleasure. Mya,,, his breath getting caught in his throat, as his head rested on the back of the couch, and he gripped her hips as he began to slowly grind with her. My turn now boss? You were so good to me, let me be good to you?! He gripped her hair and angled her sexy ass just enough to play with her clit. Listen, I’m always a gentleman but I’m not going to last at this moment, so I need you to cum with me, please? Kissing her lips as he kept with the tempo of the ride. A mix of moans filled the space as she began to swirl her hips in a slow circle, she could feel the damp threatening to burst once again, impossible, never more than once and sometimes not at all, but this man was going to hit two home runs if he wasn’t careful, she might just... Her thoughts interrupted as they both reached the climax of their pleasure, which she wanted and needed so badly.

Pilot: Good afternoon, Alex, just a heads up, we will be landing in about 20 minutes. If you are not seated, please retune to them in about 10 minutes. Thank you, sir, and as always, it’s been a pleasure flying you and Miss Mya!

Alex: He watched as she picked up her dress, He was still sitting like an idiot with his pants around his ankles. Do we talk about this? He stared at her avoiding eye contact with him suddenly. Damn those announcements, he was losing her before he had even gotten started. Talk about what? She had that Mya panic in her voice, she was about to spiral if he didn’t get a handle on it quick. ME MYA, JUST FUCKED MY BOSS, I PROVED EVERYONE RIGHT, I’M GOING TO HAVE TO QUIT MY JOB! She was pacing back in forward. PUT YOUR FUCKING PANTS ON MAN! DID YOU NOT HEAR THE PILOT?! Bend over! WHAT?! Pulling her over to him and bending her over the arm of the couch, thrusting deep into her core, he stroked slowly at first but speed up with each second that passed between their bodies meeting once again. Long strokes as he spoke firmly, did I not say fuck the company?! I would lose it all over again if it meant, pussy was always on my menu just like this! And to clarify MYA, only you can give me that kind of satisfaction! NOW GIVE IT TO ME!

Pilot: This is your 15-minute warning boss! Five minutes until seatbelt time!

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venti-depress0 · 2 years

Text

Decompressing #1 [Trigger Warning]

TW: Depression, Anxiety, Lost sense of self, S3xual Assault, etc

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I always want to physically write this stuff in a journal, but I don’t nearly write as fast as I can type, and my constant ADHD + gaslighting keeps me from finishing any personal journal I start. So, here I am.

Long story short: I’m not okay. I’m alive. But far from okay.

I’ve been in stasis for seven years. If I’m being honest with myself, it may have begun before then.

I’ve spent my entire life trying to live for other people, desperately avoiding confrontation no matter the cost. I wanted those around me to be proud and supportive of what I did, so I was afraid to pursue anything at all. If someone didn’t tell me it was a cool idea, that they believed in me, I never bothered. I was convinced it was a waste of time.

When I DID pursue my hobbies, I compared myself to the people I knew. They were far better than I. They had more passion than I. That deserved it more than I.

Which is stupid. Because that’s not how life works.

I’ve been stuck up my own ass for far too fucking long. I can sit here and I can blame it on undiagnosed ADHD, PTSD, and autism, but it’s only a slice of the cluster-fuck-pie that led me here.

I’m so sick and fucking tired of sitting inside my own head day in and day out. I’m tired of trying to live for other people. When every single person in my life has abandoned me at least once, what’s the fucking point?

Abandonment/Trust Issues I’d sit, and listen, and be a shoulder to cry on. I’d do everything I could to lift their spirits, to offer the small advice I could, and try every possible way to not be an inconvenience and I’m still tossed aside without so much of a second glance.

I’m not some asshole who tries to control everything, or bleed people’s wallets dry, or incessantly talk about myself, or go behind other’s backs. And yet... here I am. With more trust and abandonment issues than I thought I’d ever have.

It’s probably a good thing I’m financially fucked because if I could afford it, I’d be a recluse. I can’t sit here and lie, to pretend that the scars haven’t bled into my perspectives of other people. I 100% believe that people are horrible until proven otherwise. That they’ll use you until you’re no longer a convenience for them and toss you aside as if you never existed, as if you never laughed, cried, and smiled with them for hours. As if you never shared your darkest secrets with each other.

My own venom sitting on my tongue fucking burns. I need companionship. I long to have people I can depend on, people I can trust. People I’d fucking go to war for.

But I can’t convince myself to try. I want to. But the moment I get close to it, everything comes rushing back. The pain, the heartbreak. The anger.

I’m so alone. I’m so afraid.

Maybe I have shit taste in friends. Maybe I attract shitty fucking people. I see friends all the time who are thick as thieves. They’d ride and die for each other. It’s out there. Good people exist. But I can’t seem to meet them.

Even if I did, I’m too scarred to let them in.

Every. Single. Person in my life has abandoned me at some point. Every single one. My father is the only exception, but he’d always make jokes about disowning me. Which only further solidifies my fucked up view that I am disposable. Forgettable. Trash.

I can’t even trust my romantic partner any more. I’m terrified they’ll gaslight me, corner me, and toss me out onto the street again. We don’t have a lot of money, and most of it is theirs. They always say it’s “our money” but I don’t believe that. Because the second I get comfortable and buy myself a fucking snickers, I’ll be accused of being a greedy selfish cunt. Not that they’ve said that to my face, but certainly to their family that we live with. They say they love me, but that love is shallow and dangerously flammable.

----------

Lost Passions Without Purpose

I don’t know how to enjoy myself anymore.

I think a lot of it has to do with the fact that I’ve convinced myself that I’m not worth it. I listened to the things people told me and now I’m convinced it’s all true. Why should I do anything for myself? Why should I bother if I’m worthless?

I’m hyper critical of everything I do.

I manage to do chores okay, and my partner thanks me and tries to recognize my efforts but I can’t help but feel like he’s patronizing me. They’re chores. They’re expected to be done. They should be done. I shouldn’t be congratulated for doing them. I don’t care if I could barely get myself out of bed and managed to do it all regardless. Being congratulated for fuckin’ cleaning the litter box is demeaning and patronizing and I hate it. It doesn’t make me feel good. It’s just a blatant neon sign reminding me how fucking dysfunctional I am.

“Oh congrats, you’re not totally fucking useless today.” Is how it sounds to me, and I fucking hate it.

But when it comes to the things I used to love and enjoy... Writing. Art. I’m so broken and lost I can’t find the inspiration. I can’t draw or write because all I see in my head is charred remains and the echoes of ghosts.

I still have a lot of love for the stories I had swimming in my head, but every time I sit down to put it to paper, it’s never good enough. I write a couple paragraphs before I hit a dead end and start all over again. I know I’m the problem, but I don’t know how to heal myself.

---

Phantom Pains

I’m utter shit at processing my emotions. Especially these days. I used to cry a lot as a kid. Everything I felt was so raw and genuine, and by gods did I feel them. Nowadays however, I’m horrified of being vulnerable. Showing my emotions is a physical effort these days. I don’t want anyone to know I’m hurting, that I’m vulnerable. But my strength is waning. I can’t keep face anymore. My depression has been so bad the past few days. I haven’t felt this bad in a while. Maybe it’s catching up to me. Maybe everything I’ve refused to feel has finally broke the dam and I can barely find the will to stand.

I still have dreams of the people who I thought I’d spend forever with. As if we’ve made up and it’s all water under the bridge.

But you don’t know what I did for those girls. One in particular. Sure, the threat I was given may not have had any real merit to it in retrospect. But to me, it was real. I was worried they’d hurt her. And I was abused for two years by a man a decade older than me. But that doesn’t count I guess, because he never stuck it in me. It didn’t count in their book. My experiences were invalid because they had it worse. That’s how they saw it. And it’s what I convinced myself of too. Despite the PTSD, it didn’t count. I was just weak. It was my fault.

I know better now, but that’s what I believed for the longest time.

So, I counted it. I’ve been completely discarded and abandoned by people who claimed to love and care for me 5 times.

First time was when my mother disowned me for being bisexual. She called me a lesbian and that was it.

Second time were my childhood best friends. We moved in together and they turned a nice apartment into a fuckin’ pig sty and began dismissing me. When I expressed that I felt like I was being mistreated, they, verbatim said: “If you don’t like it, get out.”

Third time was an online group of friends I was with for 2 years. Someone came in and began making EVERYONE uncomfortable. I expressed this, was dismissed, and another one of those friends decided to start some fuck-shit roleplay drama that wasn’t a real issue. They just wanted to paint me an enemy.

Forth time was a relationship issue where my partner refused to communicate with me when we were attempting to have a healthy poly relationship. I was abruptly backed into a corner and forced to choose right on the spot. This was after neglect and I guess I chose wrong. Their whole family then kicked me out on the spot and I spent EVERY FUCKING PENNY I had managed to save outside of paying for their medical bills trying to get into a shitty fucking apartment that was falling apart.

Fifth time were the coworkers who straight up ghosted me after having a panic attack at work and was subsequently fired without any warning. I shouldn’t have had the outburst, but at the time I would’ve probably killed myself had it not been for the pets at home. I really would have.

I haven’t had friends in 2 years and I purposely try to keep it that way now.

Maybe it really is me. Maybe I--someone who can’t convince herself to buy new clothes I need, or food for that matter--am the problem. Maybe I’m just a horrible fucking person.

Dude, I don’t even talk about myself anymore.

I don’t talk unless spoken to.

Why?

Because no one cares. Why would I bother word-vomiting over people who quite literally don’t give a shit.

What do I want?

The only thing I wanted as a girl was a farm, and to write until my hands cease to function. I wanted a nice lush garden, some chickens, maybe a horse if I could afford their care.

Now? I just want to spend a day without thinking I’m a waste of fucking oxygen. At the same time, I don’t think anyone is worth the oxygen either.

I still want the same things. I still want a little farm. Maybe somewhere close to a river or a lake. I want to write books. I want to be able to escape this awful fucking world again. I want to see the beauty in the real world, in nature. I want to stop and appreciate the little things. I want to wake up in the morning (not the afternoon >.>) and not struggle to pull myself out of bed. I want to feel alive again.

I want to take of my animals and give them the best life I can. I want to spoil them and shower them in all the love my being is capable of.

I want to play games, or sit and doodle, or watch a show without feeling like every second is a “waste of time”.

I want to be okay when I turn 30. I’m 27 now. I have 3 years to go. And time flies quickly. Fuck, last week I barely hit 21. Now I’m still in the same spot, with the same person, with my head still up my ass, unaware of who I am and where my own happiness lies.

Resolution

Things with my mom are much, much better. We never talked about what happened, but I’ve come to learn we’re a lot alike. Words don’t need to be spoken. We’ve worked on our relationship and actions prove how much we care for each other. There’s still a part of me that’s kind of afraid of her still. But she was never a bad mother. Just... emotionally unavailable. We’re good.

My partner and I need work, in my opinion. Things are okay, and I think a lot of my own personal issues are just that; my personal issues. Poorly treated trauma coupled with insecurities. There are a number of things I’d like to see change in him. For example, his lack of financial awareness and reckless spending. It could be much worse, and it has been. He’s better. But if I manage to finally snag one of the shit-fuck jobs I’m over-qualified for, he better not expect me to buy a figure every week for him. He’s supposed to be my partner, not my fucking child. I don’t want to have to argue with him if he can grab a toy every time we go to the fucking store. Which is how it feels now more often than not.

I need to do what the kids call “shadow work”. I just.. hate it. I don’t like the idea of sitting and talking to my “inner child”.

I am going to work harder on my passions and force myself to enjoy it. And if I don’t, I’m gonna kick my own ass.

Conclusion

I’m fucking exhausted. I don’t want to be in my own head anymore.

I don’t want fucking trauma to dictate my entire life.

I don’t want my cats to fucking die here. They deserve to spend their elder years in a house all to themselves. I want to buy them the fucking world. They deserve it.

And by the gods, I deserve it too. I deserve to give myself the world, and I don’t give a shit who hates me and who doesn’t.

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hellopixlpanda · 6 years

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Pidge what have you done

#sheith #shiro #keith #pidge #I’m so sorry #my friend said ‘ass assaulter’ and I’m cry-laughing #this was a terrible idea #and yes it’s sheith if I see someone tagging this as broganes grabby claw shiro will come get you #pidge made this for shiro as a temporary arm ok #she's gonna make a better one with hunk but this will do for now #my art #spaceshipbiggiesmall #pop

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d0llpie · 3 years

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HOOOOLY HECK HI YOUR REQUESTS ARE OPEN YES uh okay s o. if I remember correctly I saw a work by you about chubby! reader which is what I've been looking for!!! I was wondering if you could do 46, 42, 39, and 41-based hc's for seijoh 4 by any chance? or Matsukawa (i haven't seen any x chubby!reader works for matsuwukawa and it drives me insa n e) and/or any of the seijoh 4 you prefer to write for most? thank you so much!!!!! <3

Seijoh Four, chubby reader scenarios

Oikawa x reader, Iwaizumi x reader, Matsukawa x reader, Hanamaki x reader

content warnings: suggestive nsfw for iwaizumi, food mentions + feeling guilty, very very slight assault, swearing

Prompt: “You don’t think i can pick you up?” “I don’t think i could love you any more than i already do” “I hate seeing you cry” “Don’t fucking touch them”

a/n: Hii love ! Thank you for the request ! i did one prompt for each boy so they have very different scenarios, hope you enjoy <333

wc: 2.7k

Oikawa “I don’t think i could love you anymore than i already do”

- Dating Oikawa required you to be pretty secure and confident

- He was the great king, known for his looks and admired by many fans, many of who you thought were prettier than you

- You never brought this up with him, he was always so strong, a confident leader, it’s why you loved him

- You also knew he overworked himself and that you and Iwaizumi were the only ones able to make him take a break

- You didnt need to stress him over silly things like your inferiority

- He loved you and you never doubted that, still, you couldn’t help but grow quiet as you were pushed away from the team by a swarm of pretty, thin, perfect fangirls who came to congratulate your boyfriend

- “Oi Shittykawa we have to pack up” Iwa noticed you seemingly growing smaller, fiddling with your hands as you stared at the girls surrounding him

- “Iwa-chan you’re so impatient, where’s y/n?” you looked up and tapped his shoulder from behind him, earning many glares from his fangirls

- “Ah there she is!” he cradled your face and gave you a peck on the lips before taking your hand in his, his fangirls scoffed but if he noticed he didn’t react

- You on the other hand just wanted to go home, usually you were good enough at fighting off these thoughts but today you just couldn’t shake them

- “Tooru, can we go?” you tugged on his sleeve and he turned to you before wincing slightly “Tooru where are your knee pads!” you scolded him

- “Ahaha sorry girls, i have to go know, thank you for your support, i appreciate it very much!” the group whined and shot you glares, blaming you for his early leave

- “Iwa, his knee is busted can you help” you slipped his arm around your shoulder and waiting for Iwa to take the other side

- “y/n-chan please, i don’t need help” you glared at him and he shut up, Iwa took his other side and you started to walk

- You were so caught up in your thoughts of insecurity and worry for Oikawa that you didn’t hear him ask you a question

- “y/n-channn why are you ignoring me, i’m sorry, i swear i’ll rest all day tomorrow” you looked over to him “i’m sorry baby what did you say?” he frowned before making you stop walking

- “i asked what was wrong, you’re really quiet” you smiled up at him “oh it’s nothing baby, how is your knee?” he huffed out in frustration, he hated when you did this, knowing you hated when he did it too

- “y/n. don’t do that, talk to me” you sighed “it’s dumb” you fiddled with the ends of your hoodie, pulling it out to make it appear looser

- “If you’re insecure right now i’m gonna kick ur ass with my broken knee :(“ you giggled at him lightly before smacking him “i know i told you it was dumb..”

- He frowned again “baby, you always make me talk about what’s really going on, i need you to do the same so i can help you..” he was right.. “It’s just, i don’t know, your fangirls today were staring at me a lot and they’re all so skinny and pretty and i just-it went to my head”

- He pouted before cupping both your cheeks “i don’t think i could ever love you more than i already do.. You have no idea how often i think i’m not enough for you baby, but you’re so much more than enough for me j couldn’t possibly be with anyone else, no one could treat me the way you do, you’re perfect in my eyes”

- A stray tear fell down onto his thumb as he swiped it away “Kawa of course you’re enough! You’re so talented and perfect, you always communicate with me and put effort into everything you do i’m so proud of you, please don’t doubt yourself!” he laughed at your scolding “how can you be so blind”

- You smiled at him as he pressed his lips against yours, pulling you against his body as he deepened the kiss “oi shitheads! hurry up!” You broke apart to see Iwaizumi ahead of you both waiting impatiently

- You laughed before taking his hand and continuing to walk, squeezing his hand lightly

Iwaizumi “i hate seeing you cry”

- You felt so guilty, you had just eaten what you thought was way too much cake and were now crying in front of the mirror

- You couldnt seem to find anything about yourself attractive, everytime you saw your reflection your eyes zeroed in on your flaws

- You grabbed at your stomach, your sides, everywhere you could while looking into the mirror with red puffy eyes

- Iwaizumis footsteps could be heard approaching your room, you quickly turned around and threw on one of his hoodies, trying to find some pants

- He opened the door to see you in his hoodie and some panties and immediately smirked “hi baby, what’re trying to do?” you shot up and slowly turned to face him, tugging the hoodie down as far as you could

- His smile dropped when he saw your tear stained cheeks and red eyes “y/n? what happened baby cmere” he pulled you into his chest, rubbing up and down your back before bringing you to the bed to sit on him

- You tried to speak but your eyes welled up with tears again “Haji, i need to get some pants..” you whispered, afraid your voice would crack if you spoke any louder and he felt his heart sink

- “Hey hey, tell me what happened” he smoothed your hair down before kissing your forehead, resting his hands on your hips

- he squeezed your hips reassuringly, a habit of his, but you tensed up. He put two and two together and sighed “i hate seeing you cry”

- “i just- don’t you want me to lose weight?” you looked up at him, wiping your tears on the ends of his hoodie while he gripped your hips harder

- “what the fuck are you talking about” he grunted before moving his hands to your ass “i love your body, i love all of you and i intend to spend the rest of my life reminding you how much i love you.” you smiled tearily at him and he kissed you firmly

- he began smoothing his hands over your ass and you chuckled at him “what’re you doing Haji?” “oh c’mon, you look so beautiful in my hoodie what do you expect, you’re always so beautiful..” he kissed you again, rougher this time before leaning back to throw his shirt off

- “I’m going to prove to you just how attractive i find you okay?” you nodded, he gripped the ends of his hoodie, trying to pull it off you but you held it down “wait-“ you looked into your lap, he sighed softly lifting your chin with his thumb and forefinger “if you don’t want to that’s okay baby, but if you don’t want me to see you because you’re insecure i’m going to have to beat you up for thinking badly about the love of my life.”

- You chuckled before kissing him again, letting him take off the hoodie “i love you haji..” “i love you too baby”

Matsukawa “don’t fucking touch them”

- You were out at a bar with Issei and Hanamaki, it had been a while since you’d hung out with your boyfriends best friend and you were all free after work and decided to grab drinks

- Since you’d been there, Issei had had a strong grip around your waist, making you sit on top of him and gripping your thighs every chance he got

- He only got like this when he was jealous but you don’t know why he’s been acting this way in front of Hanamaki

- You were talking to Hanamaki about an angry customer at work when Isseis hold around your middle tightened “baby i’m going to the bathroom you’re trying to squeeze the alcohol out of me” you chuckled getting off his lap and giving him a kiss on the cheek

- “be safe” you nodded before heading to the bathroom, wondering why he was acting so strange, you couldn’t tell but someone across the bar had been eyeing you up since you came in

- You were walking back out when someone stopped you in the hallway “hi pretty/handsome” the man reeked of strong liquor and you tried to push past them but he caged you against the wall

- “it’s rude to ignore people, didnt nobody ever teach you any manners?” he started to slur, dropping his hand down to your body “Isse-“ you were cut off by his other hand covering your mouth

- You shoved him off of you, he looked angry, he was about to storm back towards you when a fist connected with his face, knocking him back into the wall behind him “don’t fucking touch them.”

- Issei spat at the man before grabbing you and pushing your head into his chest “i wasn’t, i don’t wanna touch a fatass like them anyway” this time it was hanamaki to punch him, knocking him to the ground

- He shook his fist “ah fuck, y/n, you okay?” you nodded, smiling at your friend before looking up at Matsukawa who was looking down at you concerned

- “i’m okay baby, really, thank you” he hummed “i’m never letting you out of my sight again, i knew he was looking at you...you know you’re perfect right? don’t listen to him.” you nodded again, burying your face into his chest

- “i know, let’s just go home mkay? you both need to get some ice on your hands” Issei smiled, kissing the top of your head before taking his jacket off and putting it on you

- After you’d iced hanamakis hand and said your goodbyes you were on the couch with Matsukawa “Issei what’s up baby?” he was scowling at the wall so you sat down beside him

- “i just don’t understand how he had the nerve, i mean what a fucking ass.” you hummed, tracing your fingers over the tattoo on his arm, knowing it calmed him down

- He pulled you into his lap so you were straddling him “you’re okay though right?” you pushed your thing in between his brows to make him stop frowning, “yes baby i’m fine! please stop stressing” you kissed his forehead and he sighed, burying his face in your chest

- “i love you, and your body” he squeezed you tighter into his embrace, mumbling into your chest and you stroked his hair “i love you too Issei, honestly you’re more worked up about this than me, let’s go to bed okay?” he hummed, standing up with your legs wrapped around his waist before carrying your to bed

- He collapsed onto the mattress, on top of you, cuddling back into your chest with your legs tangled as you fell asleep in each others arms.

Hanamaki “you don’t think i can lift you?”

- Hanamaki was on his way home from work, he had texted you many times but you didn’t answer, you were fast asleep on the couch with one of your favourite shows playing in the background

- He tried to call you to see if you wanted him to bring anything home but you still didn’t answer, he was slightly worried so he tried to get home faster

- When he entered the house he called out “y/n? i’m home” he moved further into the house, seeing you fast asleep in the couch and he smiled

- He brushed the hair out of your face before flicking your forehead “dumbass you shouldn’t fall asleep on the couch” you stirred in your sleep but didn’t fully wake up

- He lifted you up, carrying you to the bedroom before putting you under the covers. He went to take a shower hoping you’d wake up by the time he got out

- You woke up in your bed confused, you could’ve sworn you were on the couch, you figured you’d woken up and came to the bed to sleep

- The sound of the shower turning off alerted you to Hanamakis presence and you jumped out of bed “maki? hi love!” you kissed his cheek as he finished drying off his hair “hi, how was ur nap?” you smiled “good, didnt mean to sleep for so long, i haven’t made anything to eat”

- “it’s okay, your food sucks anyway” you stuck out your tongue as he pressed a kiss to your forehead, moving back into the bedroom “you look tired, c’mon i’ll carry you back to the couch while i check the fridge”

- you looked over at him confused before scoffing “yeah right” he looked over at you “what?” you raised your brow at him, gesturing your hands down your body before laughing softly

- He was quite offended to be honest “you don’t think i can lift you?” you looked over at him as if it was obvious before trying to exit the room.

- He ran over and pulled you into a hug from behind “excuse me, who do you think carries your sleepy ass from the couch to bed everytime you fall asleep watching your stupid shows?” you turned around in his hold “i walk?” he scoffed, you were serious?

- without warning he hoisted you up in his hold, smirking proudly at your flustered reaction “what were you saying about my big beefy muscles?” you rolled your eyes, tapping him to let you down, instead he began walked to the kitchen

- “maki put me down!” you tried to get out of his hold which earned you a slap on the ass “shhh, gosh i can’t even be a nice boyfriend!” he whined before putting you down on the couch

- “you’re welcome your highness” he bowed and you giggled “okay okay you can lift me” “hell yeah i can babe, these guns aren’t for show, plus, you’re a lot lighter than you think you are”

- you blushed at his words and he leaned in to kiss you sweetly “alright i’m checking the fridge, you can watch your show again but when i come back we’re watching something else okay?” you nodded before smiling, pulling Makis hoodie up to your nose and inhaling deeply

- You both settled into the couch and ate leftovers for dinner, talking about your days. After you finished you cleaned up before making your way back to the couch to settle in between Hanamakis legs

- You felt your eyelids growing heavy and you snuggled further into his chest before falling asleep. Maki felt your breathing slow and even out, he looked down and smiled at your sleeping face

- “i guess you’re making me do this again?” he sighed before pressing a kiss to your forehead, turning off the tv and slipping an arm under your legs and shoulders

- Once he carried you to bed for the second time that day he slipped under the covers with you, pulling you back into his chest and sighing “goodnight babe”

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lucifer-is-a-bag-of-dicks · 3 years

Text

what happened the first time Wes tried to crack open the Danny is Phantom conspiracy did he like, confront Danny first or was it all behind his back like, maybe hoping ground zero would be lost among the gossip and that Danny wouldn't find out who spilled the beans once everyone knew

I mean it obviously wouldn't work because nobody believed him and the gossip didn't take off very far beyond a few people talking about Wes being kinda weird

I should absolutely write a fic about this.

I am absolutely going to write a fic about this.

I AM RIGHT NOW GOING TO WRITE A FIC ABOUT THIS.

----

"Hey Fenton! Fenton!!" Dash came bounding over and threw a meaty arm around his shoulder.

"Jesus Dash! What?!" Danny buckled under the weight (pretended to anyway) as Dash gave him a surprisingly lighthearted punch on the arm.

"You haven't heard?! Wes has this total batshit insane theory, it's hilarious!"

Dash was in a genuine giggle-fit, Danny didn't think he'd ever seen him this merry, he was also starting to suspect he was going to leave this conversation being the butt of the joke somehow. Wait-

"Wes? Who the heck is Wes?" Danny asked, it wasn't like he knew everyone in school, like Dash seemed to.

"He's on the basketball team, you know, tall guy, red hair, threw a sick move at least month's game! You know, WES!"

"I didn't watch that game."

"Oh," said Dash, flatly, "Oh yeah, almost forgot you're a total nerd. Anyway, like I was saying!"

Dash grabbed Danny by the shoulders and nearly lifted him off the floor.

"Wes thinks," he could barely speak through his giggling, he even snorted a few times, "Wes thinks your secretly PHANTOM."

Dash dropped Danny back down as he doubled over laughing.

"Could you imagine?! You! You're not even DEAD!" Dash honest to god slapped his knee in mirth.

Danny went through an incredibly swift array of emotions in the span of about five seconds.

The first was fear, clear and bracing, then came confusion, how did he know? Had he seen something? Then there was hope, Dash didn't believe it, and if DASH didn't believe it, maybe nobody else believed it either. Then relief, he could roll with this, he could TOTALLY roll with this! Dash was right! It was absurd, it was ridiculous, it was hilarious, him being Phantom? What utter nonsense!

Sam and Tucker had been standing by his side at a Dash-safe distance, looking absolutely horrified. Sam looked ready to jump in and lay down a swift defence, but Danny gave a quick little low wave for her to stand down. He got this.

"Oh my god SERIOUSLY?" Danny busted out a slightly hysterical laugh, okay so he wasn't completely over the initial terrified anxiety.

"How could I- I mean what- WHY does he think I'M Phantom?! I mean how does that even work I don't-"

Dash clapped him on the shoulder, this was probably the most contact he'd ever had with him without being physically assaulted.

"I know right?! Like apparently he thinks you look alike? And he's all like 'But I've seen his eyes glow green' and 'they're never in the same roo-hoo-hoom." Dash wheezed and started hacking and coughing.

Danny carefully constructed a look of offence.

"Hey I mean, it's not THAT funny. Why couldn't I be Phantom! I know how to use a Fenton Thermos! Look I even HAVE one right-" he torn open his backpack and pulled one out, making sure to fumble it in a terrific display of fuck-uppery and drop it noisily on the cafeteria floor, he dropped to his knees trying to grab it but knocked it under a table.

A few girls standing nearby who'd been listening in started tittering, one of the guys sitting at the table snorted milk through his nose and Dash was just about on the floor in hysterics.

Even Sam and Tucker covered their mouths in an attempt to look like they were holding in laughter. Tucker muttered to Sam, just loud enough for people around to hear.

"I mean, he's our friend and we love him, but god that was painful to watch. He knows he's terrible at ghost hunting! He's got like, nothing but thumbs."

Danny climbed under the table, grabbed at the thermos and lifted it up as he crawled back out.

"See! See! I have a thermos! I could TOTALLY be Phantom!"

Sam walked over and placed a gentle hand on his shoulder. "It's okay bud, I think you'd be a great Phantom." her voice was thick with her usual sarcasm, soaked in pity though it were.

Danny's ears burned in embarrassment, he might have been humiliating himself on purpose, but it was still humiliating, watching everyone laugh at him for being so weak and incompetent. He was grateful to his friends for pushing through their discomfort and keeping up the act, it was still painful, but it came with a wash of pure unadulterated relief.

Nobody believed this Wes guy, nobody thought it could be even remotely possible. People would talk about it for a little while, have a laugh, maybe there would be a few memes and in-jokes, but eventually it would drop off. People would forget all about it and it would be just another notch on the gossip mill belt.

Even if someone DID believe it, they could never admit it for fear of vicious ridicule, for once in his life peer pressure was his friend.

And then Wes walked in.

Once Danny saw him he realised that he did recognise Wes, he'd seen him hanging around Kwan a few times, and chatting with Star, he was also in Danny's english class. That was about as familiar as he got with the guy, they'd never spoken a word to each other.

Wes had a terrifying expression of seething fury ripping across his face. He was glaring at Dash.

"It's NOT. FUNNY."

Dash was completely unable to stand, it was honestly overkill, Danny almost thought he was hamming it up on purpose, but maybe not, his face was turning an alarming shade of red after all.

"Wes don-" Dash gasped. "Don't do this to me man, I can't brea-" Dash was gasping for air, trying desperately to hold down the giggles.

Danny could almost see steam rising as Wes seethed. Then suddenly that furious stare was shooting daggers straight at him. Danny shrank into himself, looking as small and helpless as he possibly could.

"Uh hey Wes, um, I've heard the news." he joked tacking on a nervous laugh for emphasis. "Uh, soooo," he tossed the thermos from hand to hand, nearly dropping it again. "Is this like, just a joke or do you really-?"

Dash continued to wheeze, Kwan was holding him up by the arm, muttering about getting some water to cool off.

Wes strode over until he and Danny were face to face, he was taller by a good couple inches, even more so with Danny making a conscious effort to appear small.

Wes jabbed a sharp finger into his collarbone.

"Don't think I'm fooled by this pathetic act you've got going on, I am ONTO you, Phantom." he spat.

Danny glanced sidelong at the table beside him, silently begging for assistance, they only watched in silence, strained faces trying not to laugh. A glance the other way to his friends, they simply shrugged.

"Um, okaaay," Danny started backing away slowly. "Uh look Wes I am honestly really flattered but, do we really look that alike?" Danny ran a hand through his hair and then pointed up at Wes. "I mean we BOTH kinda have Phantom's haircut."

Sam deadpanned from the sidelines, "Maybe they're BOTH Phantom."

"We should start marketing that haircut." Tucker muttered to himself, tapping something on his tablet. "We could make a fortune, are you any good at hairdressing?"

Sam shot him a look of disgust and did not dignify the question with a response.

"Don't play dumb you two," said Wes, flipping his focus, "You're definitely in on this!"

The entire cafeteria was awash with giggles by this point. Just about everyone had heard about Wes' theory, but were mostly convinced it was some kinda joke. Now? Now they knew Wes was straight up fucking delusional.

He glanced around as people laughed, at him. At HIM.

"It's not funny!" he yelled over the crowed, the tittering increased in volume. Someone across the room yelled-

"Hey if I get the haircut, can I be Phantom too?"

One of the goths stood up on her seat.

"I've GOT the haircut! Mom says it's MY TURN to be the Phantom!"

There was a fresh round of mirthful laughter, some kids wheezing as hard as Dash had been. Another few kids piped up above the cacophony, throwing jokes of their own.

"I've got a soup thermos so I'm Phantom now, sorry sweaty I don't make the rules."

"If I wear a Phantom shirt does that make me Phantom ALL the time or am I only Phantom when I'm wearing it?"

"I have an ass, Phantom has an ass. Conclusion: I am Phantom's ass."

"Tag yourself I'm the thermos."

"DO THE BUTTS MATCH?"

Wes had been trying to scream over the din, infuriated, desperate to find SOMEONE who would listen.

Danny gave him a pat on the back.

"Hey, if it makes you feel any better, The Guys in White once hunted some guy down because he had white hair, if a government agency can fuck that up then-"

Wes slugged him.

It wasn't a particularly solid punch like Dash's hits, it was quick and precise, Was wasn't a brawny guy, but he was lean and fast and had good aim.

Danny whuffed out a heavy breath as Wes' fist collided with his sternum and he collapsed to the floor.

Everyone in the cafeteria lost their shit, a few people screamed and one table of football jocks all stood up chanting, "FIGHT. FIGHT. FIGHT. FIGHT."

Tucker ran over to him as Sam stepped up and without hesitation slammed a fist straight into Wes' nose.

The footballers lost their minds, one of the goths stood up on their table screaming "REPRESEEENT!!"

Wes backed up immediately, crying out from the sharp pain blossoming across his face, he'd never been hit before and couldn't pull his thoughts together quick enough to throw a punch back at her, so he was taken by surprise once again as Sam placed a solid roundhouse kick to his stomach.

He had certainly not been expecting that kind of brute strength from her, she had incapacitated him swiftly and effectively, barely having broken a sweat.

One of his teammates hollered over the crowd and came barrelling down on the goth, she dodged without batting an eye and darted nimbly out of the way, giving the guy a quick kick in the pants to throw him off balance as she rocketed for the cafeteria door.

As Wes took a deep breath through his mouth, his nose dripping blood, he realised that Danny and Tucker were gone. The fight had lasted only seconds but Sam had run distraction well enough for the boys to take off without anyone noticing, a glance around showed Tucker supporting Danny about to exit through the cafeteria doors.

The doors opened to an out of breath Mr Lancer on the other side.

"'The Light Fantastic!' WHAT is going on here?!"

Oh they were all so fucked.

#danny phantom #wes weston #I definitely wanna write a sequel in detention #danny phantom fanfiction #Lula's headcanons #Lula's fanfics

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whatifyoulivelikethat · 3 years

Text

LO$ER=?, m | jjk

pairing(s): jungkook x reader

summary: Life is just a path and you walk it. Until Jeon Jungkook. He made you run, sprinting through winding side roads and alleys, fighting, bleeding, losing. Your paths split, but life is made of orbits. Now that they have overlapped once more, his hand is fiercely holding yours and he won't let go again. Nothing matters if he's with you. Thus, you run once more, laughing like you've gone mad.

continuation of 0X1=?, m | jjk – click here to read

warnings: rated M (18+) for language; mentions of sexual assault (not heavily described, however, please note reader is the victim of said assault); actually predominantly fluff; mentions of previous angst; mentions of physical fighting; smut (fem reader, fingering, cowgirl, scratching / marking, penetrative sex); non-idol!BTS - tattooed, previously rich!Jungkook x rebellious!reader (mostly reader's POV, a tiny bit of JK's POV), ft cameo of Kim Taehyung as JK’s best friend and crossover with 'bao, t/m | myg' au

yes, I waited until the TXT's 'LO$ER=LO♡ER' was released to write this XD there's a ton of TXT references as well, enjoy!

now playing – LO$ER=LO♡ER by txt

"Jeon Jungkook! Yah! Jeon Jungkook! Come out of that whore's home!"

You were about to remove the groceries from your front seat, but then you stopped at the shouting, peering up at the second story of the apartment complex to see… ah, yes, a young woman yelling at your front doorstep. One look at the imported, Western, black car with heavily tinted windows and you were well aware that the woman in a matching designer two-piece – a ruffled pink suit jacket and flared skirt – complete with immaculately pulled back hair in a half-ponytail must be...

She turned around, fuming, pretty features twisted in rage, and screamed in frustration.

You quickly jerked your head back out of her line of sight and clicked your tongue.

Your boyfriend's ex-fiancé had some lungs on her.

You waited until she finished shrieking like a banshee and peered out to see her spin on her heel and return to pounding on your apartment door with her small, manicured fists. You spotted her beige, black cap-toed slender heels.

Chanel.

Huh.

You stayed in your car.

Reached over to your bag and pulled out the single ice cream you bought to share with Jungkook but, at this rate, you would have to buy another. You pulled off the cap and folded it in half, curving it like a spoon, and began to eat the mango sorbet. Hm, well, it was better this way. Jungkook would probably prefer chocolate or straight up diabetes over mango sorbet.

He would eat pretty much anything though.

You scooped up some of the frigid, melting sweet into your mouth and watched his ex-fiancé shout at no one.

True, you could go up there and throw her down the stairs. But there was something hilarious about this, her beating and howling at your apartment door, completely ignoring the fact that no one was answering it and that she was very clearly causing a public disturbance, all because of her own personal problem.

You glanced up to watch her slide down the door, openly crying now. You pressed the button of your car window to roll it down a crack to listen to her sobbing above you.

"–can't believe you would do this to me... you know I need this marriage... my family's company depends on it..."

You slowed, licking off your makeshift spoon.

"I'll be left with nothing... nothing unless I get married..."

Crocodile tears or not, the woes of the rich did not earn much sympathy with you.

You rolled your window back up, leaving your car on idle for the air conditioning.

It was a mix of previously being constantly berated by Jungkook's wealthy parents that now exiled him over a fucking eyebrow piercing and being a member of the working, lower middle class. For some reason, that latter fact was also offensive to Jungkook’s parents. Everyone was accepting until money got involved. You hummed, eating another scoop. You didn’t like it, but you understood that his parents wouldn’t believe that you have no interest in their money. What you didn't understand was why his ex-fiancé was so hellbent on yelling at your door. From what you could tell, she wasn't ugly. Couldn't she find someone else?

You scraped the last of your small ice cream out and ate it up.

You checked your phone.

Jungkook wouldn't be out of work for at least another three hours. You had found him a job at the local bao shop through your own job as an accountant. You assisted the family in sorting the finances for their small business and personal tax forms. The owner had back surgery and so the daughter had been working there by herself with one other employee that delivered the orders. They wanted to hire another to help with cooking and cleaning, perhaps even open up the front counter again to accept pick-up orders instead of only delivery. However, it was hard to find someone trustworthy and reliable. The best way was through word of mouth.

They won't mind my tattoos?

Whenever I drop by, the delivery guy is wearing a leather jacket, ripped jeans, and has a resting bitch face. You'll be fine. Also, I think the daughter and him are dating.

Jungkook had blinked at you.

You know. In case they disappear for ten minutes, unexplained.

You loved Jungkook's laugh.

He didn't complain or whine for some other job. He only asked when he started and how to get there. You bought him a secondhand bicycle and he was off to work, five to six days a week. Sometimes you would drop him off with your car if was too rainy. Occasionally, when he had to stay late for a large order, the delivery guy would drive Jungkook and his bike back home.

That's how it was here, in the world of everyone else, minus the rich.

The fuck is all this?

Manager gave me a bunch of leftovers. She said I'm a fast learner. Did you know Taehyung stops by there? He's never said shit! He said it was his little secret, that ass–

You smiled as you remembered Jungkook's animated face and annoyance at his best friend for not sharing what he thought was crucial information. Jungkook would speak excitedly, hauling a bag of buns and spilling them over your clean kitchen counter, scrambling to catch them as he explained the different ones to you and how they were made, telling you all the things he was learning and funny stories about customers.

You almost forgot this Jungkook.

It was strange, feeling something after such a long time of feeling nothing, strange to find your time occupied once again by him, when at many times you vowed not to get involved with Jungkook anymore, only for him to show up and make you throw your promises to yourself to the wind, recklessly chasing the anger, wondering, hating, loathing how much you still loved him after he left, recalling him standing there, stone silent as his parents' verbal lashes ripped you to shreds.

You turned the car off, pulling the keys out and pocketing them, not wanting to the drain the battery.

Maybe.

Maybe you were stupid for loving him so much.

Maybe you were as pathetic as the woman up there in some ways.

Then again.

Maybe that was just how everyone lived.

You heard a soft tap by your car window.

You jerked your head to see Jeon Jungkook, in the flesh, peering at you through the glass, clutching his bike. You could see half of his head, short black hair and large, curious brown eyes, nose pressed up to the bottom of your car window. He was wearing his work clothes, light wash jeans and an aqua blue t-shirt, lightly dusted in flour. He pointed up and you noticed his ex-fiancé had switched back to yelling at the door, no longer facing the street.

You shooed him back and opened the car door, eyes wide.

"Why are you home?" you whispered, crouching down to speak to him.

He grabbed your hand, gasping as he gripped it. You shivered at the coldness of his fingers, but there was a warmth in between your and his frozen palms, melting each other.

"Oh, shit, your hand is so cold!"

"So is yours!"

"I was biking! My hands get cold from the wind. What's your excuse?"

You held up the empty mango sorbet container in your other hand, shifting your eyes guiltily.

"And you didn't share?!" Jungkook hissed, his windswept hair giving him a fierce appearance, dismay clear in his glistening dark brown orbs despite trying to sound angry.

You spied his other hand on his bike. There was a large, wrapped bandage on his left forearm. You ticked your chin towards it, furrowing your brows. "What happened?"

"Ack, I burned myself and manager-nim told me to go home early. I told her I could still work, but there were only a few hours left and it seemed like she wanted to be alone with Yoongi-hyung..."

You raised your eyebrows.

"What are they gonna do, bonk in the kitchen?"

"You wouldn't want to bonk me in the kitchen?"

You grinned at him and Jungkook grinned back, eyebrow piercing flashing in the sun.

"JEON JUNGKOOK!"

"Oh shit–"

You scrambled out of your car, locking it, slamming the door as the young woman wailed his name and pointed at you and him, furiously wiping her tears.

"You bitch! How dare you take him from me! He was mine! I had him wrapped around my finger!" She hiked up her skirt and swiftly power-walked to the stairs, looking back to yell more at you as Jungkook placed his bicycle down. "He would do anything for me!"

You raised your eyebrows, again.

Jungkook yanked on your t-shirt sleeve, ushering you to get on the bike with him.

"Doesn't seem like it!" you called back casually, chucking your trash at her, causing the empty ice cream container to smack her in the shoulder and roll across the sidewalk.

"You–"

You cackled and got on the bike, hooking your arms around Jungkook's shoulders and adjusting your feet as she stomped up to you two, conventionally attractive features contorted in rage.

"He was my dog!"

Your eye twitched.

"You were gonna marry a freak who was into bestiality? No wonder you left," you remarked, patting him on the chest as Jungkook burst out laughing, loud and rich, shaking his head.

"You can't do this to me, Jungkook! You can't leave me with that other guy!"

You felt it.

Pause.

You felt Jungkook stiffen under your hands and you turned yourself, hearing the helpless plea in her voice now, throwing herself to the ground, designer knees in common dirt, anguish on her face, tears streaming down her made-up cheeks, sniffling hard, and, with your breath lodged in your throat, you realized she was restraining her pained sobs, so trained in maintaining appearances that it seemed like she couldn’t even cry properly in front of others.

"You can't... you know how they are... I can't marry him, you saw what kind of man he is... that's the whole reason I tried to find another husband..."

There was no more anger in her voice, only fear and dread, and you didn't understand, and yet you could for some reason, for some reason you could see it as if it was tangible, the realness in her enigmatic words. Jungkook's hands tightened on the handlebars of the bicycle, his knuckles turning white, tense shoulders under your arms, and for a second, a moment, an instant...

You thought he might go back.

"You should run."

The crying woman on the ground lifted her head, hiccupping, cheeks blotchy pink, still somehow beautiful.

"W-What?"

Jungkook turned his head and looked down at her. "You should run away, like I did. Find someone who actually loves you. Getting married to me will only make both of us miserable, even if it saves you from that other guy."

She looked from you to him, and you recognized that look in her eyes, jealousy and envy, but not directed at you. It was directed at the warmth between the coldness of his hands and yours, directed at the orbits of his and yours finally overlapping, meeting in the vastness of space once more, his zero and your zero becoming one, not you, but his ability to throw everything away, his wealth, his comfort, the world he knew, all for a feeling she had yet to feel.

"What... what if I can't?" she asked weakly. "What if I can't find what you have?"

Jungkook lifted his foot off the asphalt and placed it on the pedal. He raised his head, and you found his eyes on yours for a brief moment before casting them back down to his ex-fiancé.

"Then keep running. It's better than being married to him, right?"

He began to turn the handles, about to pedal away.

She screamed after him, words choked with agony.

"Love won't solve our problems, Jungkook!"

You held on tight, chest to his back, fingers clutching in Jungkook's shirt, nose in his hair, his warmth under your cold hands.

"It won't!" he yelled over his shoulder, gaining speed with a grin. "But it sure as hell makes the problems worth shouldering!"

“Hey! Get back here!”

You snickered and chucked the plastic bag into the basket connected to the bicycle, jumping on quickly, pedaling away as Jungkook ran after you at top speed, breathless and laughing, his black hair flying back, aqua shirt molding to his muscular chest, long legs sprinting after you and the bike, your grinning face looking back periodically to catch his smile, going not too fast, but still fast enough so he couldn’t quite catch up. Golden hour brought out the tan on his skin and his high cheekbones, both of you tearing out of the gas station at high speed, drawing stares and shaking heads, but neither of you noticed or cared, his booming voice calling your name and you sticking your tongue out at him childishly.

“Watch out!”

You jerked aside and sped past a group of five young men with skateboards, two with shorter black hair, one with long black hair and white highlights, one with ash gray hair, and one platinum blond, all very tall, but you didn’t have time to stop and stare at the impressive height of them, turning into a side alley towards to the creek nearby, avoiding pedestrians, Jungkook following close behind until you got to your destination, grabbing the plastic bag in the basket and throwing the bike down, cackling as Jungkook snatched you from the air, his heart racing against your back as you kicked the air, him still somehow effortlessly carrying you despite sprinting so hard, panting into your hair.

“Get off!”

But instead of letting you go, Jungkook held on tighter, fierce kisses into your neck, wiping his sweat all over you and making you cringe amidst your laughter. It was already late, the sun dipping into the horizon, slowly taking its warmth with it. Water trickled meekly down the creek, barely coating the rock bottom due to the hot summer.

“Stop, stop, the ice cream is melting,” you finally gasped out, shoving Jungkook aside, wiping your neck with the back of your hand, pretending to be disgusted, but Jungkook just grinned and seized your cheeks, pressing his lips against yours.

“I love you,” he breathed.

“Ack, I love you too, fuck, get off–”

You two sat on the swings of the empty playground, watching the sun disappear, eating ice cream with the lids of the containers. As predicted, Jungkook got the chocolate that seemed to have everything in it but the kitchen sink. You, on the other hand, got red bean this time.

“Hey, Jungkook.”

“Hm?”

He looked up from his ice cream, shoving a large lidful into his mouth.

It was strange how beautiful he looked, even with his black hair sticking up every which way, his cheeks filled with the frozen sweet, the faint rays of sunlight catching the silver of his jewelry – eyebrow piercing, earrings, silver chain around his neck with the compass star pendant – all paired with his oversized aqua blue t-shirt and baggy jeans, still with bits of flour on his thighs from work.

“What did that man do to her?”

A darkness clouded his features even though he tried to hide it from you with a neutral expression.

“Ah… He just… Just wasn’t really the kind of guy who thought of women as people,” Jungkook finally got out, looking away from you. “You know, the kind of guy you really hate.”

“That’s you,” you joked.

“I know I can’t do anything,” Jungkook continued, ignoring your quip and you suddenly regretted it, seeing the way he lowered his hands, exhaling slowly. “I am not responsible for anyone else’s behavior but my own.”

Come crawling back to me on your knees when she reaffirms to you that I'll be the best fuck you'll ever have.

She'll never make you feel as good as I can make you feel.

Enjoy your piranha.

“I’m sorry.”

Jungkook looked up at your sudden declaration.

“I’m sorry,” you repeated, coughing awkwardly. “I’m sorry for saying the things I said about her.”

He snorted, shaking his head. “Don’t be. Just because she was in a shit situation doesn’t excuse her for being a shit person.” He shoved the lid into the empty ice cream container and rubbed the back of his neck, pushing his hair back with a sigh. “Just like how it doesn’t excuse me from being a shit person for what I did to you.”

His eyes shifted away.

“You don’t have to–”

“Yeah, I do,” he muttered, cutting you off. “I’m a fucking loser.”

The streetlights began to turn on, but no one was in a place like this, two adults in a place for kids, stuck wondering what adulthood was supposed to feel like because it still felt like an endless cycle of forever learning and forever running, wandering to find out what the finish line meant.

“I wasted time you can’t get back and I will spend the rest of my life chasing the time I wasted.”

Jungkook sucked in a shuddering breath, hand falling from his hair, rueful smile on his face.

“I can only hope you can put up with me for so long.”

You blinked slowly.

He turned his head, brown eyes finding yours, those irises catching the streetlights like how his jewelry had caught the sun, proving that Jeon Jungkook was, indeed, already adorned with nature’s very own jewelry.

You scooped out the last of your red bean ice cream and ate it, looking away from him.

“Sounds like forever,” you remarked, feeling the chilled sweet cool your heated cheeks, swallowing slowly, savoring the way the cold warmed you in its own way.

“Hm?”

“Sounds like I’m stuck with you forever then,” you said, turning back to him with a smirk. “Kinda sucks.”

He smirked back, cocking an eyebrow. “Yeah. Major suck. Speaking of my dick–”

“Oh, shut up.”

But you said it with a smile and he knew you didn’t mean it.

“Why the fuck do you have that?”

“It’s from work. Gimmie your arm.”

“Why?”

You extended your arm, frowning, stopping under the streetlight, one hand on the bike as Jungkook held the black permanent marker with his right hand. He used two fingers to uncap it and tucked the lid neatly into his palm, spinning the marker with the adjacent two fingers to readjust it so that he could write on your arm.

“Do you wanna get a tattoo with me?”

“Of what?”

You looked down to him scribbling on your skin, his own black tattoos standing out, covering his entire right arm and up to his shoulder. You wondered if he would end up tattooing his back and maybe his other arm – but, then again, he kind of needed money to have pay for such large pieces.

“Couples tattoo.”

You looked down when he drew back, grinning, reading the word upside down.

LO♡ER

You raised an eyebrow.

“You want to get ‘lover’ tattooed?” you asked, skeptical, turning your arm this way and that, unsure if you liked the placement on your forearm, near your wrist. “You don’t have any space on your right arm anyway.”

“That’s why I would get it on my left.”

And he curved his wrist to write on the bandage on his left forearm, messily writing on top of it.

LO$ER

Now you raised both eyebrows.

“You want to get… ‘loser’ tattooed onto your body?” you snorted disbelievingly.

Jungkook grinned, recapping the black marker with one hand, tapping the dollar sign on the bandage with the marker lid. “Doesn’t it describe me? ‘Cause I had money, and now I don’t.” He pointed to the heart on your skin. “You love me. I love you. A lover with a dollar sign is a loser, right?”

Laughter and skateboards sped past, five blurs of black along the street, spinning around the parked cars, people yelling after them to stop being so reckless, but you were too busy staring at Jungkook to notice the ruckus, too busy staring at that smile and those brown orbs lit up by streetlights.

“Are you stupid?”

Jungkook’s grin widened, mole underneath clearly visible. “Yeah, kind of. Stupidly in love with you.”

You both instantly pretended to gag, trying to mask your smiles, you shoving him and him shoving back, playful and laughing like mad, falling into him, dropping the bike with a loud clang, swept up in his arms and his kiss, your hands hooking behind his neck, love you, love you, love you, not sure about this whole tattoo idea, but, hell, maybe, just maybe if he annoyed you enough about it.

Shit, the groceries...

Are they still good?

The green onions look kind of wilted, but so do you and you're still good... I think.

Shut up.

You didn't need him, but being without him was like being frozen in time.

Not that you had any big dreams or aspirations anyone could be envious about. It always been like that, casually cruising through life, existing for the sake of existing, no real reason needed. It just was, and there was no reason to stop, so you kept going. The path was there, so you kept walking.

But, then.

Jeon Jungkook.

Jungkook made you run.

It's not washing off.

Tragic.

Easy for you to say, you wrote yours on your bandage, 'loser'.

So terrible that you have 'lover' written in you by your lover - hey, pfft, stop! Put the showerhead down!

It was truly by chance to meet him, a moment of terror and then he was there, yelling, get off her, don't fucking touch her, and you didn't understand, didn't understand why some random guy would suddenly intervene between an interaction of two strangers, how could he sense your discomfort and fear, and now he was throwing fists, brawling with not one but three guys, friends of the one who slipped his phone and his hands under your skirt, the stranger smashing the phone with venomous rage, fighting in a dress shirt, slacks, leather loafers, and expensive-looking rings, giving you a chance to escape.

A winner at life.

Not like you, you who let something happen because you froze up in that second, disbelieving that such a thing could happen to you, a nobody, a loser.

He kicked one of them in the knee, growling, a howl followed by the sharp crack during the fight.

You could turn and escape.

Or?

You heard sirens.

You grabbed your protector's flying fist and clenched into it tightly, panicking.

Run!

This was before the tattoos.

This was before the pain.

This was before the piercing.

Jeon Jungkook had whipped his head around at the foreign touch, in this mess because he had witnessed something disgusting and because he simply wanted to fight, just wanted to beat someone up, wanted to cause real pain to someone because he couldn't control his own life, wanted to fight something.

Needed to fight.

A hand around his hand.

Run!

Never once had Jungkook thought about escape.

Not until he saw that face, fear and panic and rage and determination, stunningly beautiful, hand around his hand, not letting go, pulling, sirens screaming in the distance, his legs already moving, following, running, running, running, into the sea of the unknown.

Sinking into it.

Lungs screaming, clumsily flying through alleys, on wings of adrenaline, running after the girl in the white hoodie and red plaid skirt holding his hand, falling, falling, falling, skidding across the concrete, her arms around his, her head buried into his chest, his hands around her head to protect it, hitting a dumpster with a pained wheeze.

The sirens sped past.

He was holding her and she was holding him.

It was chance.

Just chance.

His hands were scraped up, bleeding from the trip and tumble, her white hoodie dirtied and ripped from the fall, scrapes on her legs and knees.

I'm sorry...

It was ridiculous chance.

Just ridiculous.

You clung to this stranger and laughed, laughed like a maniac, laughed like you had gone mad, crying into his dirty navy dress shirt, thank you, thank you, thank you, not knowing you were holding the one who would make you run, not knowing who or how affluent he was, now knowing of how it felt to hold his hand and kiss his lips and hear his laugh, not knowing how you would introduce him to a friend who was a tattoo artist and start his interest in them, not knowing you would sit by him for long hours and watch the art grow on his skin...

Holding him, crying, thank you, thank you, thank you for saving me, leaning against a dumpster as the stranger hugged you tightly, I got you, it's okay, don't cry, don't cry, don’t cry please, rubbing your back.

Not knowing.

Not knowing he would make you zero, not knowing you would be standing there, time and time again, verbally beaten by his own parents as he looked away, unable to fight.

And you would escape.

You would run.

He would come back.

An endless cycle until you broke it.

Then he started the endless cycle again, broken as it was, his whispers to your cheeks, I love you, cheeks that were dried of tears because you were cried out and left with a mechanical heart, I love you, heart to heartless because of wasted time, I love you, time wasted but you still loved him, no matter what you did.

Did that make you pathetic?

Did that make you stupid?

Did that make you the loser?

I love you.

Why did it matter?

Even winners die.

I love you too, Jungkook.

"Get your hands off my tits."

"Why?"

You glared at him. Jungkook grinned and spun you around, hair still a little damp, kisses on your face that made you cringe as your naked bodies tumbled on the bed, him doing it on purpose, your grumble against his kisses, should have known, his smirk against your scowl, thought you knew me well by now, capturing his lips to shut him up, sinking into his arms and the ocean that was Jeon Jungkook, the one who made you want to run through the maze of life instead of aimlessly walk down the path.

His hands on your face, staring into your eyes.

You looked back, into those eyes that once had everything, but you.

And yet, he chose to lose it all and have nothing, but you.

It didn't really make sense, being in love.

You searched for regret, but there was none to be found.

"Am I forever your waste of time?" Jungkook whispered, breath drifting over your lips.

You smirked.

"Always was and always will be."

I know you said I was a waste of time. But I was your waste of time and that was all I ever wanted to be.

"Let me at least..."

"Ah, f-fuck, Jungkook!"

Your hands faltered a little, rolling the condom down while biting your lip, gasping as his two fingers plunged into you, him moaning at the wetness, thrusting slowly and deeply.

"What, you think I can't feel good with only your dick?"

"No," Jungkook snickered, pulling his slick fingers out of your pussy and bringing them to his face, cocking an eyebrow. "Just want a taste."

You rolled your eyes as he shoved his fingers into his mouth, sucking them off, eyelids fluttering.

"You're so annoying."

He grinned around his fingers, slowly pulling them out and tracing his wet lips.

You narrowed your eyes.

You don't have to take me back. I understand now, you know... I get it. Everyone... everyone will tell you you're crazy and to not to take me back.

I'm not taking you anywhere.

I... I wouldn't blame you. I promise.

Jungkook, please, shut the fuck up.

Your hands on his chest, smacking your hips down, his head thrown back on the pillows, breathless moan at your tightness, matching his sound with your own, stretching yourself out and feeling him swell even more at the pulse of your walls wrapped around him, rolling your hips into his, wet, intense smacks, his right hand flying up and wrapping around your left wrist, watching you through his lashes with effort, losing himself in your pace, no need to ask because you could see it in his face, his open mouth and glazed over eyes, fingers slipping down, curling your nails into his skin.

“P… Please…”

Raking your nails down his chest, his back arching and eyes closing, groaning in pleasure and pain, fucking him into your mattress so hard that the bedframe squealed, setting your jaw and closing your eyes too, savoring his fullness and thickness, sinking into the ocean of pleasure that was Jeon Jungkook, the one who made you feel like no one else, the one who could make and unmake your mechanical heart, funny how that worked, your nails in his skin creating crescents of lust, your eyes snapping open as you felt his chest rise, his back arching, his hands flat on the bed and thrusting his hips up into you, one eye partly open, black hair pushed back, open-mouthed smirk on his lips.

That dark brown orb partly obscured by his lashes, but revealing all to you.

You ticked your chin at him.

“Look at me.”

His eyes fully opening, pupils dilated, hazed over with lust and stubborn love.

“Nothing is more important to me than loving you,” he panted before sinking his teeth into his lower lip, mole underneath flashing, smacking his hips up into yours hard and fast, and it took no time at all, staring at his face and the way the moonlight cradled his strong jaw and toned muscle, catching the low light and bringing out the fervor in his gaze, filling you just right, pleasure blossoming from your core and yet concentrated tightly at the same time, moan of his name falling from your lips, spilling out from your lips and in between your legs, covering him with the sweet scent and harsh squeezes of orgasm, even wetter now, his eyes rolling back, cock twitching, satisfied hiss of your name spilling out with spurts of cum filling the condom, his length shivering inside you, your thighs closing in and holding him in the air so you could feel it all.

His pleasure and him.

I won’t make it to heaven. I don’t belong there.

It’s not like I belong there either, Jungkook.

Are you sure? Only an angel would take me back.

I didn’t take you back. Only your body walked away. Your heart never left me, did it?

“You sure you don’t want to get a couples tattoo with me?”

“I’m still trying to wrap my head around how your dumb ass wants to get ‘loser’ tattooed and how you think that’s romantic.”

He pressed his right forearm against your left and grinned, watching you suck in a breath as he pushed into you again, other condom already in the trash, new one on, your right leg against his chest, sandwiched between your bodies.

“But yeah, if you want, I’ll get a ‘lover’ tattoo.”

He paused, blinking rapidly. “Really?”

You raised an eyebrow. “Yeah? Why not?”

“You never wanted a tattoo before.”

Now you raised both eyebrows. “Did you ever ask me before?”

Jungkook looked down at you, hair a mess, smile blossoming on his face, somewhere between giddiness and mania, diving down and showering you with kisses, you smacking his arms and telling him, you’re bending me in half, the fuck are you doing, and he laughed, lifting both your legs now, I’ll show you bent in half, placing them between his arms, leaning down, sinking in as deep as possible, your moan and his moan mixing together.

You’re still here.

Of course, I am, this is my fucking apartment. Ugh, your black eye looks even uglier than before.

You don’t… you don’t want me to leave?

Did I say that? Uh… why are you crying?

F… Forget I said a-anything…

Hey, stop. Don’t cry. Don’t cry, Jungkook, please…

“Fuck, you feel so good, fuck…!”

Your hands in his hair, teasing grin on your face, and he was looking down at you, I love your smug smile, fuck, your fingers combing through his hair, pushing it back and away from his face, letting him see your smug smile without any obstructions, you always fuck me so well, Jungkook, the smile breaking out over his handsome features, breathing erratic and labored, hard and rough and deep, you rising your hips to meet him for every loud smack, exhales and moans blending together, tight, wet, full, your grip on his hair tightening, closer, closer, racing to the edge of the cliff and the edge of the world, Jungkook in your hands, taking him with you, or was he the one who was leading you?

“Jungkook…”

Breathless as if you were running, winded from the pleasure, tightening around him, his head lowering, your name washing over your cheeks in a hot gasp, putting more weight on you, nearly folded in half but it felt better this way, gratifying in how hard he could fuck you in this position, staring into those dark brown orbs, his body on yours, knowing he was yours, always was, always will be, and you were his, always was, always will be.

Head pressing into the pillows, moaning his name again, loud and unashamed, the overwhelming feeling taking over, muscles tense and nerves on fire, pouring it all into the pleasure, pulsing around his jerking length, his moan of your name on your skin, shooting shivering strings of cum into the condom, massaged and milked by the strength of your orgasm, locking him in your embrace and his arms closing in, lips on lips, a fierce kiss dominated by shuddering aftershocks, trembling in each other’s hold and taking the other’s breath away, blazing hot all over even though this frozen world cared about no one.

The kiss lasted a long, long time.

It fell apart slowly, leaving you both lightheaded from the intensity.

“You’re a waste of time, Jungkook,” you whispered, heated. “But you’re my time.”

The side of his lips quirked upward, sweaty, panting, chuckling.

“That’s all I ever wanted to be.”

masterpost

#jungkook x reader #jungkook x you #jungkook smut #bts smut #jungkook fluff #jungkook fanfic #jeon jungkook x reader #jeon jungkook x you

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elysiadjarin · 3 years

Text

Day 3: Dacryphilia

Jesse Cromeans may be a ruthless killer, but at home with you? You’re the one in charge. And especially those days when you’re annoyed at how long he’s been gone and he comes back so desperate for your attention… well. You did so like to see him cry.

Day 3 of Kinktober has arrived! I actually think I discovered some things about myself writing this one, so y’all enjoy. 😂 Find my Kinktober Masterlist here.

Warnings: Minors DNI, this is 18+ content only. This one is a slasher x reader fic, so please beware of mentions of murder and assault as part of the territory, though nothing is explicitly mentioned. PinV unprotected sex, dacryphilia, desperation, cumplay.

Tags: Jesse Cromeans (Chromeskull) x reader, slasher x reader, yandere!reader, soft femdom, sub/dom themes

Paint Splatters over Canvas

It was rather funny, really.

You scrolled through your phone, ignoring the giant man standing in the doorway of the room staring at you. Jesse had always made a point of never touching you without your permission. A way for him to separate the meaningless victims of his murderous hobby with you, his wife, his everything. And while of course your relationship stayed perfectly strong, you well aware of his hobby and he well aware of your own tendencies… it did sometimes backfire on him in the best worst ways.

Like now. When you were annoyed with him because he’d been gone an entire day later than he’d promised, extra dark web cash be damned. A promise was a promise, and it wasn’t as though he’d needed the money. He did have a perfectly legal and highly successful business, after all. So shouldn’t you have come first?

You liked revenge cold, playing the long game; something you had in common with Jesse. And today, you certainly had plans put in place for said revenge. Which, for the time being, meant ignoring Jesse. You had plenty to occupy you, from communications for the business to just working on your own projects. Still, you’d made sure to be just nonchalant enough to let him know that it was all so… deliberate.

Jesse shuffled in the doorway, clearly wanting your attention but knowing better than to think any sort of demanding would get him anywhere. He’d learned the hard way that at home, his power over subordinates decidedly did not apply to you. When you didn’t give him any response, he hovered for a moment, clearly trying to decide on what to do next.

You knew how he would get after a mission. Needy. Wanting. Starved for attention and affection from you. Pent up for days, probably thinking about you every spare moment between takes.

With a hum, you typed out a message on your phone before standing and heading for the doorway. You briefly looked up to see him as you brushed past in the doorway. “Oh, hi, Jesse,” you said, giving him a brief, distracted smile. “I’m off to get ready for a meeting with a client.” You headed for the bedroom, already thinking about your next steps.

You could hear him following behind you, could almost feel the mounting despair as he started to realized what was happening. Why you had used his name instead of the usual love, darling. His shoulders hunched, and you could see his face twist as he clearly tried to think of what to do. He already knew that you’d have your revenge however you wanted: apologies would be expected but certainly wouldn’t get him any closer to mercy.

Walking into the bedroom, you headed straight for the bathroom to start preparing. Jesse still trailed along behind you like a forlorn, helpless puppy, and you swore you could almost hear him let out a small whine. Pausing for a moment in front of your vanity, you dialed your friend’s number and set it to speaker, putting it down on the countertop and sitting in front of the mirror.

You tied your hair up and reached for your cosmetics, beginning the process as the phone dialed. Your friend picked up quickly, already in on your plan thanks to your texting. She always approved of your payback plans.

Bestie! I thought you said you had to prepare for the meeting? I mean, yknow, not that I don’t like hearing from you. She cheerfully teased over the phone.

You smiled. “Well yeah, I just sat down to do my makeup. But I mean, we did say we were going to talk about the party for little Jacen this weekend, and what better time than now? You can help me pick out an outfit once I’m done,” you cajoled, noticing how Jesse sat on the edge of the jacuzzi bathtub, unabashedly staring at you. He always had loved watching you get ready for an event. Not that you minded.

Fair enough. Your best friend admitted readily. But seriously, you didn’t have to go all out for Jacen like this. She half scolded. It’s so much!

You laughed lightly, the creamy foundation smoothing across your skin. “Oh c’mon, he’s my adorable little nephew in all but name. He deserves to get spoiled by his doting Aunt, let me have my fun,” you wheedled, knowing she would cave.

She sighed over the receiver. I swear, girl, you could convince anyone into anything.

“Or maybe I’m just your weakness, Miss Mara,” you teased back. The soft brush in your fingers blended the contour onto your face, and you smiled as you glanced at the phone. “But anyway, did you manage to figure out what he might want for a birthday present? Or are we going with my original idea to let him loose in a mall?”

Oh, no, you are so not buying him everything he points at. I’d never get him to not be a spoiled brat if I let you.Mara snorted. I’ll text you what I figured out, he seems to be pretty fixated on it right now.

“Ugh, fineeee,” you sighed, rolling your eyes. “But I’m going to at least get him that adorable motorized scooter I showed you before. He’s going to look so cute riding around in it.”

Fair enough I suppose. Better than the mall idea— wait, did you just get me to agree to something extravagant by threatening something so ridiculous—

“Anyway,” you interrupted blithely, “did you send out invitations to everyone?”

Yep, and I got back all the RSVPs. Speaking of which, I thought you said that you were meeting with the CEO of some business tonight? What’s that all about? I know you, you normally don’t like dealing with people.

You sighed. “Well, I guess the cat’s out of the bag a little.” You pouted, reaching for the eyeshadow and liner. “Jesse was supposed to be back yesterday, but since he wasn’t I had to reschedule, and I promised to personally meet with the CEO in order to smooth over ruffled feathers. But besides that… I wanted to be there personally to see my best friend and her husband’s house finally paid off for their fifth anniversary.”

A pause. Then a screech that made you grin. You’re not serious! Babes, no, wait—

“No use protesting!” You said cheerfully, waving your brush. “It’s already been practically settled. Besides, you both need to start saving up for Jacen’s college funds. We did have the agreement that I’d open the doors to whatever college he wanted instead of just paying for it,” you reminded.

Ugh, I don’t know if I want to smack you or hug you, you sly little— Mara groaned. Wait till I tell Damien, he won’t know what hit him. She laughed. Thank you. You know how much it means to us. I won’t scold.

“Good.” You nodded. “And you know I’ll take care of you.”

She sighed. Never doubted it. So, how’s the process?

You hummed, pursing your lips as you finished the eyeshadow and grabbed the mascara. “About to do mascara, then all I have left is the lipstick. But shouldn’t I wait till we pick a dress before I actually pick a color?”

Probably. What’s the mood? You going for boss ass bitch, sultry Queen, or mysterious vampire lady? Amusement laced Mara’s voice.

“You’re not even in my house and yet you walked in and called me out to my face,” you said dryly, earning laughter. Jesse, you saw in the mirror, tilted his head with a small smile playing over his lips. He’d quietly observed the whole processes, eyes fixed on your face.

Only cause I love you. So, show me the closet, girl! Oh, show me your makeup first tho so we got reference.

You picked up the phone as you finished, turning on the camera so she could see your makeup sans the lipstick. She whistled, eyebrows wriggling teasingly as she grinned.

Oh, so mysterious vampire queen it is. She smirked. Closet. Though I do have the feeling that we’re going to be choosing a gorgeous red lipstick.

“Yes ma’am,” you answered, standing and heading for your closet. You heard Jesse stand and follow behind you, and stifled a smile. Flipping the camera, you started to flip through the racks of dresses. “Does that mean we’re leaning towards a black dress?”

Hmm, probably. Actually, how about one of your sleek black ones? The one with like, barely any frills and only a tiny bit of lace at the top. Off the shoulder. If you’re gonna try to assert dominance, probably drawing attention to your mouth and hands is the best way to go.

You tilted your head at the hangers, then nodded. “You’re right. Especially if I go for the red lipstick. I could also honestly use a glass of wine during that meeting,” you sighed.

Mara snickered. Blood in a wine glass? How stereotypical of you, madame.

“You hush, drama queen,” you said dryly, finding the dress she’d described and pulling it out.

Ooh, that’s the one! And I know you have that one crimson shade of lipstick that I always say looks vampiric.

You went back to the vanity and set the phone down, pretending to not notice that it showed Jesse standing in the doorway, clearly staring at you. You slid your shirt off, careful not to smudge any makeup, then slipped out of your pants and reached for the dress. Smoothing it over your front to get rid of any wrinkles, you sat back down and tilted the camera back to yourself, reaching for the lipstick.

“This one, right?” You waved it in front of your face.

Yep! That dress is stunning, by the way. Oh, and what are you doing with your hair?

“Ugh, I don’t really wanna bother too much with it, so I figured I’d go with the… messy, loose waves.” You shrugged, applying the lipstick.

Mara snorted. I think you mean, ‘sorry I’m late I was doing things’ while ignoring Jesse staggering behind you clearly radiating ‘I’m things’ energy.

You half-choked, laughing despite yourself. “Mara-! Seriously!”

She rolled her eyes at you. I’m just saying it like it is. But you go girlie, you look bomb. She laughed. Blow them all away. Be the boss bitch you are. A noise in the background interrupted her. Oop, that’s my cue. I gotta go, text me though okay?

“Will do, tell Damien and Jacen hi for me.” You smiled and hung up, finishing fluffing your hair. Standing, you grabbed the phone and headed for the door. “The meeting is in five minutes,” you remarked to Jesse as you passed him in the doorway. “If you want to join.”

You saw him type on his phone, the text to speech translator sounding a moment later. May I be there with you?

You flashed him a warm smile, as though you weren’t at all deliberately enacting revenge. “Of course! I’d love to have you there. Let’s go.” With a little hum, you headed towards the stairs.

Your phone pinged with a message. Girl, I swear he was drooling. You’re so mean sometimes. Not that he didn’t deserve it.

You suppressed a laugh, replying with one hand as your other slid down the bannister to guide you down the staircase. You know it. Mission so far successful. Wish me luck, I’m about to go into this meeting.

You looked up as you got to the bottom of the stairs, seeing an assistant waiting with the guest. The assistant bowed politely. “May I introduce Mr. Trace, CEO of Finley Bank.”

Giving the assistant a nod, you turned to Mr. Trace. “Greetings, Mr. Trace. Welcome! Thank you for agreeing to meet with me. I do apologize for the delay,” you said, taking charge and sweeping towards the parlor.

He followed after automatically. “Of course, Mrs. Cromeans,” he answered, quickly recovering from his moment of bewilderment.

You motioned to a chair, sitting on the velvet couch across the coffee table. “Please, please, have a seat,” you said, keeping the easy smile on your face. “Can I get you a drink? Anything at all?”

He blinked, sitting down and setting his briefcase next to him. “Ah— thank you. I’d appreciate a scotch on the rocks if it’s available.”

“Of course,” you said easily, nodding to the maid standing nearby. “A red wine for me, please.” You smiled at Jesse as he sat next to you. “Your regular?” you asked sweetly. At his nod, you turned back to the maid. “And a glass of dry white.”

She bowed and went to go fetch the drinks.

“I’m sure you have plenty of other things to do, Mr. Trace,” you said smoothly, “so I’ll not take any more of your time than necessary. Of course, as I said, I’d like to discuss several things with you…”

Twenty minutes later found you leaning against the arm of the couch, feet propped up beside you as you swirled the last dregs of the red wine, tapping the glass with your fingernails. The CEO had long since emptied his scotch, and Jesse was on his second glass. His fingers kept clenching around the flute of his glass every time your feet brushed against his thigh.

“Of course,” Trace said with a nod, jotting down the final notes on the paperwork. “Easily managed. Are there any other details you would like to add or anything else to discuss?” He looked up at you.

Your tactics of firm politeness and the scotch seemed to have worked their charm, and you’d been able to rather easily dominate the flow of the interaction. Not to mention, Mara had been right about appearances clearly setting a tone. Trace seemed to be studiously avoiding eye contact with either you or Jesse.

“Not at all, Mr. Trace,” you said, a pleased note in your voice. “I’m rather pleased at how everything has turned out. We do so value your business, you know.” You tilted the glass in your fingers. “Shall I sign the papers?”

“At your leisure.” He slid them across the table toward you.

You slowly uncurled yourself like a lazy feline, straightening yourself and leaning over to set the glass down on the table. Grasping the pen, you slowly signed your name on the papers, eyes glancing over the print to ascertain that everything was in order. Shuffling through the papers, you finally set the pen down.

Trace took them back, glancing through them before nodding. “Everything seems to be in order.” He slid them back into his briefcase. “Thank you as always for your business, Mrs. Cromeans, Mr. Cromeans.”

You nodded, and Jesse stood, setting his glass down. You rose as well, sliding your arm into the crook of his elbow as he automatically adjusted for you. “And thank you for your help, Mr. Trace,” you answered easily. “I do hope you have a productive rest of the day. Do be safe out there.”

He nodded as the assistant returned to escort him out. “Same to you.”

With a hum, you absently patted Jesse’s arm and let yours slide out of his grasp, drifting towards the stairs again. “Oh, I need to go tell Mara it’s all confirmed. Besides, this dress is only comfortable for so long,” you remarked, pulling out your phone again.

Guess who completely owns their house now? You texted Mara, smiling. And your tactics worked, I think dominance was asserted.

You waltzed into the bedroom, headed straight for the closet. “Jesse, are you hungry? I think the food I ordered should have arrived by now, it should be in front of the TV. Maybe pick a movie? I still have a few messages to send.”

You changed into a comfortable black babydoll nightdress, sighing in relief as the silk slid over your skin. It was far more comfortable, and you could feel yourself finally starting to relax after the pent-up tension of the meeting. You really did hate dealing with people, especially ones like the CEO.

Your phone buzzed as you went to go pick it back up. You are literally the best. Now go finish seducing Jesse while I go figure out how to make this news sexy.

Stifling a snort, you went to go wipe your makeup off and wash your face. You could hear the sounds of the TV starting in the bedroom, so you took one more glance in the mirror before heading out into the room, still tapping at your phone. You still had to finish some arrangements for Jacen’s birthday, after all, and your revenge was still percolating.

Jesse’s head turned as soon as you approached the couch in front of the TV. You ignored the way he froze, sliding onto the couch and tucking your feet under a soft blanket. Sending off another message, you set it beside you and reached forward to grab a tray, pulling it into your lap.

“I figured you might not want anything too heavy since you just got back, so I kinda just made a guess and ended up ordering too much…” You frowned at the myriad of food laid out over the table. “Sorry, Jesse… I don’t even know if this is what you want—“

The text to speech cut you off. The food is fine, thank you. I’m sorry for being late. I know I can only make excuses, but I am sorry. Can I make it up to you?

A frown touched your lips as you picked up your spoon, still not looking at him. Your fingernails tapped against the screen of your phone. “Jacen asked the other day if Uncle Jesse would be at his party. I told him I didn’t know, but I’d ask.”

He quickly typed. Of course, if he asked for me, I’ll be sure to be there. His fingers paused, then he slowly typed again, as though hesitating. I got you a present while I was gone.

You hummed, swallowing your food and picking your phone back up. “He’ll be happy to hear it. And thank you for the present.” You sent a message to tell Mara that Jacen’s wish had been granted.

Jesse practically fidgeted as he ate, the movie playing in the background. You could feel his eyes slide from the screen to you, could almost hear the wheels in his head frantically turning. The tension in every line of his body was obvious, his movements stilted and jerky. He practically twitched every time you so much as moved.

Finally, you set down the tray, grabbing a mint to refresh your mouth. Shifting to get more comfortable, you angled yourself towards him a little more. You snitched a piece of food from his plate, letting out a hum as you smiled down at Mara’s message. If possible, Jesse stiffened even more, his fingers clenching so hard around his spoon that it even bent a little in his grasp.

A crumb fell from your fingers onto the lace edge of your nightgown, and you let out a quiet noise of protest as you looked down. Your fingers brushed against the top of your breast, brushing off the crumb. Sticking your finger in your mouth, you typed out a message in response to another conversation. With a sigh, you looked up and glanced over Jesse’s shoulder to see the lamp on the table next to him. Night had fallen, and shadows fell over the room.

Stirring yourself, you sat up, setting your phone down for a moment. “Can I turn on the lamp? I don’t wanna get up for the lights,” you said, starting to lean across him. Almost thoughtlessly, you placed your hand on his thigh and put your weight on it, reaching over his body on your hands and knees to pull at the cord on the lamp. The light clicked on, just as a low keening sound came from Jesse.

Your head tilted at the sound, and you turned to look up at his face. It was your turn to freeze.

Jesse’s face had crumpled, his soft green eyes literally awash with tears. His hands were clenched at his sides, his chest heaving with hitching breaths as he struggled to control his expression. The tears welled in his eyes, and faint color had splashed across his cheeks and the tips of his ears.

Slowly, a smile crossed your lips as you stared up at his face. Leaning back, you tilted your head, licking your lips. “Oh, look at you,” you breathed. “You made all the little piggies cry, Jesse. But maybe it’s your turn, hmm?” Your eyes flickered down to the way his entire body trembled, every muscle taut and strained.

You moved, sliding your entire body into his lap to straddle his waist and face him. Crossing your arms under your chest, you stared into his face. “I don’t know… you broke your promise, though.” Your eyebrow raised at him, and he let out another hoarse whimper. Tears slid down his cheeks, his mouth opening for shuddering breaths.

He shook his head, lips trembling as he lifted one hand and signed. Sorry. Please. Sorry. His fingers spelled out your name.

Reaching up, you cupped his face in your hands. You leaned up, face drawing closer to his. “But I already accepted your apology, love,” you cooed, smiling. “You know what I think?” You slowly dragged your tongue across his tear tracks, your body flushing with heat at the taste of the bitter salt. “I think,” you murmured against his jaw, “that I like seeing you cry.”

Jesse’s breath hitched on a sob, more tears spilling down his cheeks. It was fairly intoxicating, seeing the giant man completely fall apart under you, trapped between his desperation and his personal standards. When you slid forward, your body pressing flush against him, another sob wrenched from his gritted teeth.

You decided for the moment to have a bit of mercy. Reaching down, you grasped his wrists and lifted his hands to your waist. His fingers instantly clenched in the silk babydoll dress, shaking as he grabbed at your waist. His entire body lurched forwards towards you, eyes fixed on your face.

You hummed softly, brushing a kiss to his jaw. “Your eyes are so pretty when they’re filled with tears, Jesse,” you purred, drawing his face closer to you. Still, you refused to kiss him, instead trailing your lips down his jaw, down to his throat. You opened your mouth against his neck, savoring the taste of his skin and the soft scent of his cologne.

Jesse’s trembling fingers jerked against your waist, and he slumped into you. His hands slid over your waist to your lower back, his touch practically reverent as he squeezed. His breaths came quick and fast, breaking occasionally on a sob. Every time you suckled or moved your lips, every time your hands slid down his shoulders, he gasped and shuddered, more tears dripping down his cheeks.

You slid your hands down, starting to unbutton his shirt. Your tongue dragged across his neck, and you felt the bulge in his pants throb against your thigh. “Isn’t this punishment fair, darling?” you cooed. “I only ask for a few tears, hmm? A front row seat to your pretty eyes?”

His head jerked, even though it wrenched another tortured sob from him. Despite the contact, you could feel his frustration mounting.

You pulled back, looking up at him as you finished unbuttoning his shirt. “Oh, you don’t think so?” Your fingers slid across his bared chest, feeling the heat radiating from his skin. “But isn’t this what you wanted? Me, paying attention to you?”

His gasps had turned ragged. His hips jerked, rutting up against your thigh. A strangled noise left his throat, his eyes squeezing shut. His grip on your waist threatened to leave fingerprints against your skin.

“No?” You bit your lip, raking your nails lightly against his chest. “Then what is it you want, hmm?”

His eyes flickered down to your lips, unconsciously licking his own. His fingers clenching, he pulled you down to grind against his cock, straining in his trousers. Pants fell from his mouth, and he kept glancing from your eyes to your lips.

You reached down, teasingly trailing your fingers down his chest and stomach. Unzipping his trousers, you looked up at his face and smiled as you traced one fingertip down the bulge in his underwear. His eyes fairly rolled back in his head, more tears streaming down his face afresh.

“Look at you, already such a mess,” you murmured, sliding your fingers into his underwear. The moment you wrapped a hand around his cock and slid up, you were rewarded with a guttural groan. He gritted his teeth, clearly struggling to stay still. With a soft laugh, you leaned up and brushed a kiss to his ear.

You tugged at his collar. “Why don’t you lie down for me?” you murmured.

He immediately complied, his hands still clamped around your waist as he turned and shifted up, lying down on the couch. He stared up at you, face still twisted in agony and desperation.

Lifting yourself a little, you tilted your head at him. “Take your pants off for me?”

He practically kicked his pants and underwear off in his haste. You guided one of his hands to the latch on the side of your own panties, giving him an amused smile and nod. His trembling fingers unlatched them, his chest heaving as he watched the black silk slide away from your skin. The moment you lowered back down onto him, his cock throbbed against you and his back arched.

Leaning forward, you hummed a pressed a kiss to his jaw. “Jesse, love,” you murmured. “Cry for me a little more?” You cupped his face in your hands, feeling your wetness coat his own length as you ground against his tip. But you deliberately kept shifting, not giving him any steady pressure.

Another broken whine came from him, and a few more tears slipped down his cheeks. Frustration scrunched his face, his neck mottled with red and flushing down to his shoulders and chest, making your white nail marks stand out. His hips jerked, his eyes squeezing shut for a moment.

“Is this what you want?” You pressed down against him again, feeling his cock slip against your wet folds teasingly.

His head jerked in a nod, almost violently. Tremors kept running through his arms, his body occasionally shuddering under you.

You leaned down and sucked his lower lip between yours. Your teeth nipped at his lip, and you finally slanted your mouth over his. Tears poured afresh down his cheeks as he desperately pulled at you, trying to get closer, kiss you more. You relented and let him, thumbs brushing against his jaw as you hummed softly into his frantic, pleading kisses. Without warning, you slipped your tongue between his lips, feeling his mouth part with alacrity. When you finally parted, his green eyes were glazed over with tears, hazily staring at you.

Then you smiled at him slyly. “I think you’ve deserved a little bit more,” you decided.

The moment you slid his tip into you, he choked. Saliva dribbled from the corners of his mouth as he squeezed his eyes shut, struggling for breath. His entire body froze, humming taut under you and his eyes sightlessly staring up at the ceiling.

You observed his wrecked expression, licking your lips with satisfaction. Rarely did Jesse ever fully submit to you like this, usually a brat. But tonight, you had absolute and utter control, and you intended to milk every last ounce of satisfaction out of it. The memories would fuel you for years of his utterly ruined expression, tears slipping down his cheeks as he drooled uncontrollably.

“So pretty, darling,” you purred, licking the tears from his cheek. You gave him another kiss, letting his hands wander over your waist and up your front. “So good for me. Do you think you can handle more?”

His eyes widened, breath quickening. He glanced down, then shook his head jerkily. Then nodded. Then shook his head.

You tilted your head. “Hmmm.” A wicked grin crossed your lips. “No? Oh, but I think you can,” your said, just as you lifted yourself and fully sheathed him inside you.

Jesse sobbed. His mouth opened, tongue lolling as he gasped. Tears poured down his cheeks from the mingled pleasurable pain and relief. His cock throbbed inside you, and his hands grasped desperately at your thighs. His entire body started to shake, arching.

You barely gave him time to adjust before you were already bouncing on him, hands braced against the back of the couch. Laughter spilled from your lips, delighted and cruel, as his hands scrabbled against your thighs, raking across your skin. Moans kept being torn from his throat, your name framed on his lips.

As soon as you angled your hips and brought your fingers down to ring tight circles on your clit, you hissed in pleasure. You pulsed around his cock, earning another helpless sob and wave of tears. He just hit that one spot inside you perfectly, again and again, until you bit your lip and moaned his name as you came around him. Your body clenched down on him, even as you kept fucking yourself through your orgasm.

More laughter spilled from your lips. “Are you gonna cum for me, Jesse, my pretty darling?” you asked breathlessly, purposely moaning his name. “Gonna cum inside me?”

The only warning you got from Jesse was another sob and the gritting of his teeth. His hands flew to your hips, slamming you down on him one more time before holding you there with an iron grip. Gasps tore from his mouth, his eyes trying to blink away tears as he stared up at you.

You hummed, caressing his hands and arms as you bit your lip in satisfaction. He kept pouring into you, his hips jerking once in a while and wringing a whimper from him. Finally, you leaned down and pressed a soft kiss to his lips. His lips parted under yours weakly, chest heaving under your hands.

“Thank you, Jesse,” you cooed sweetly between kisses. “You’re so good to me, make me feel so good.” Your mind fuzzed with the pleasure of both your high and the sight of his tears.

He pushed up against you, kissing you fervently. Though he didn’t say a word, you could feel his thoughts through his drugged, sloppy kiss.

You giggled, teasingly clenching down on him one more time and earning a jerk and grunt. “And I forgive you. But don’t do it again, okay?”

Jesse’s calculating look as he clearly weighed the consequences made you roll your eyes but laugh. Maybe this one would turn out to backfire against you, next time.

You decided it was worth it.

222 notes · View notes

chrisevansjellybeans · 3 years

Text

Only a Dream

Chris Evans x Fem!Reader

Word count: 900 smutty blurb

Warnings: swearing, smut *wear protection!!!!*, oral (f receiving), p in v

Your head fell back as Chris’s mouth placed open mouthed, wet kisses along your chest before flicking over your sensitive nipple. Your fingers wound through his long locks, keeping him close to your chest.

Chris made sure to give each bud equal attention before continuing his assault down your body. Your body shivered as he pushed your thighs apart and nipped at the skin of your inner thigh.

“Always so wet for me sweetheart.” He chuckled, his fingers toying with your slit. He hummed in appreciation as he closed his lips over your clit.

“Fuck-baby, please!” You whined. Your pussy throbbed as you looked down; the sigh of Chris between your legs making you hotter than before.

You let out a moan as Chris inserted two fingers into your sopping cunt. Expertly, he worked his fingers against your velvet walls, finding that spongy spot that made you lose all inhibitions. The combination of his fingers and his tongue against your clit had you crying out as your orgasm neared.

“That’s a good girl,” he said into your pussy. “Fuck you taste so sweet.”

Your hips bucked against his face as you tried to pull away, the pleasure surmounting to be too much. But Chris held you close as he pulled another orgasm from you.

He sat up, his chin covered in your juices and his hand now pumping his thick shaft. You pulled your lip between your teeth as you watched through hooded eyes as he ran his thumb over his slit, sliding the pre cum down the rest of his engorged member.

“Tell me what you want, baby.” He demanded, rubbing his tip against your slit. “Tell me what you need.”

“Chris-fuck, I need your cock.” You whined, trying to push your pussy onto his dick.

Chris smiled as he watched you come completely undone under him and he hadn’t even stuffed you full of his thick cock. He loved that just the thought of him fucking you right had you mewling like a dumb little slut.

“Yeah? You need my cock to make you feel good?” He teased as he pulled your hips up against him, his hard member resting right next to your hole.

“Oh god, yes! Please, baby.” You whimpered, your body aching to be filled. “Plea-“

You let out a content sigh when he finally slid home. You didn’t know if you would ever get used to the feeling of Chris filling you completely whole. You arched your back and let out a moan as he pulled all the way out just to slam right back in.

“Take my fucking cock, baby. It’s all yours-fuck-take it.” He growled as he increased his speed. He leaned down, his hands in your hair as he pulled you in for a searing kiss of tongue and teeth. Your nails raked down his back and up through his head trying to hold on to anything as you felt your body being taken to a whole new dimension.

“You feel me in there, baby?” He grunted in your ear, his hips snapping against yours.

“I always feel you.” You moaned. You brought one hand to your nipple, twisting and pulling the sensitive bud, and the other down to your clit. Chris watched in amusement as you thrashed against his body, milking him for your own pleasure.

Chris pulled out and you let out a whimper that was quickly replaced with another moan as he flipped you over and laid a slap across your ass. Once again he slid in, the new angle hitting that spot that had you seeing stars.

“Oh my god, Chris!” You cried out, your face pushed into the pillow.

“Shit, baby.” Another spank.

“Take daddy’s cock so good.” Another.

“Don’t stop.” You whispered but you knew he heard you when he laughed darkly.

“Oh honey, I’m not stopping until you-“

“Y/N! Are you okay?” Your body shook as Chris tried to wake you. You opened your eyes slowly, your body hot and your panties soaked. Chris’s blue eyes searched for any sense of trouble. “I could hear you from my room.”

You blushed as you looked away from your best friend. How embarrassing that you had a sex dream about him while staying at his place.

“I’m fine. Just a dream.” You mumbled, pulling the sheets up higher to cover your protruding nipples. “Go back to bed, Chris.”

“Are you sure? I can stay in here if you want.” He sat down on the edge of the bed, his hand now resting on your upper thigh. Your body tensed at how close his fingers were to your aching clit.

“No.” You answered quickly. “I’m fine. Please.”

Chris gave you a skeptical look before finally nodding and patting your leg. He leaned over and gave you a quick peck on the cheek before standing up.

“Okay...well please come get me if you need me.” He paused at the door. “Promise?”

“Yup.” You still couldn’t look him in the eyes.

Chris frowned at your aloofness but decided that he could talk to you about it more in the morning. He walked down the hallway to his room, his mind still trying to figure out why you had shut him out. The two of you never kept secrets from each other and he was determined to get to figure out exactly what you were hiding that had you shying away from him.

#chris evans imagine #chris evans x reader #chris evans blurb #chris evans fanfiction #chris evans smut

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breathings-of-the-heart · 3 years

Text

Stuck on You (Levi Ackerman x Childhood Friend! Reader)

A/N: Hi, guys! I just want to preface by saying that this is a TWO (maybe a three if i decide to write an epilogue drabble) PART SERIES, and I have just a few more scenes to write before I can post it! I don’t expect this one to do so well, to be honest, but it’s been so long since I’ve written anything I’m proud of and I think I’m happy with how this turned out. So yes, stay tuned for part 2 which i will link at the end once it is posted. Hope you enjoy!

Warnings: Angst, season one/no regrets ova spoilers

Word Count: 3.5k

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

5 years ago

“Why is it that you always seem to be on my case the most?” Your frustration was obvious and your patience dissipated, feet shuffling in their spot as you finally turned to face him. “You never nag Isabel this much.”

For a moment, Levi didn’t respond, scanning your body for injuries. After asserting that you were indeed okay, he stepped over the unconscious man who laid on the ground, jaw set in anger as he walked forwards until he was so close you had to tilt your head slightly to keep eye contact.

Your snappy behavior was uncharacteristic. It only fueled his temper. The raven shook his head in disapproval, trying to keep his anger in check as you glared at him defiantly.

“Isabel doesn’t make such careless mistakes,” he pointed out coldly. “You almost got yourself hurt, (Y/N)! What would you have done if I hadn’t shown up to cover your ass?”

The both of you stood there in silence for several minutes, gazing at each other and listening to your uneven breathing. His face, unlike so many others, never really did reveal everything he was thinking. Feeling. You were dared to search for something else in his steady gaze besides disappointment, but for once, you could not tell what you saw. It was infuriating, humiliating, and hurtful.

“Sometimes I wonder if there’s even a brain inside your thick fucking skull.”

His harsh words didn’t normally cut you, but this time you flinched, looking away from Levi as all the fight drained out of you.

 Wearing your jewelry out at night was a careless mistake, that you could admit. What was hard to swallow was the fact that you had just been mugged, and nearly assaulted, yet all Levi could do was find the time to scold you, not seeming to care at all if you were shaken up by what happened.

It didn’t scare you that the other man’s hands found their way onto your skin. It didn’t scare you that something bad could have happened had Levi not knocked him out. You weren’t afraid of any of it; you were afraid that all the raven-haired man could see you for were your mistakes.

“So you think I’m a burden then?” you asked, choking up.

Your change in tone caught Levi’s attention. You suddenly looked smaller, and more vulnerable than the last time he looked at you. He sighed again, shaking his head softly. It took all your strength not to shy away from his fingers as they threaded through your hair, stopping on your shoulder and tugging you against him. You let Levi do it nonetheless, knowing this was his way of saying sorry; knowing this was his way of saying: “I’m tough on you because I don’t know what I’d do if I lost you.”

You pressed your ear against his beating heart, letting the sound soothe you.

“No, brat. I don’t think that. Let’s just go home, and forget about it,” his voice was more gentle this time.

You sniffled and nodded, chest bursting as Levi placed a feather light kiss on the top of your head.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You never thought you’d miss the Underground. Especially when taking into consideration the miserable days after Levi, Isabel, and Farlan took that fateful deal, and were forced to leave you behind.

Your feelings on the matter were conflicted, of course, but you were relieved and happy that the people who mattered most had such a big opportunity. They didn’t need to see you crying, nor hear about how scared you were to be by yourself. Each one deserved better than that, so you put on a brave face as they reassured you over and over that they’d come back. You beamed as brightly as you could, sending them off with words of encouragement as you continued fighting off the lingering feeling of dread as they left.

You didn’t want to be a nuisance. Never wanted to be the reason they’d hold themselves back.

Although he didn’t show it, Levi took it the hardest. He implored you to stay alive, in a scolding tone that he only ever used when he was worried. You could hold your own, but weren’t a fighter like the other three. The stern male had only ever been thankful of your gentle nature in the past, surprised to be cursing it now that he couldn’t protect you. But for him, you’d try your hardest, knowing that with a little faith and patience, you could be reunited in the future.

The goodbye had been bittersweet, your lips slotting against his for the very first time. In a way, the way he kissed you seemed more like a promise than a farewell. His arms were wrapped around you all night, warmth lulling you to a sleep that otherwise, would never have been able to claim you.

Parting afterwards the following morning became all the more difficult because of it.

When Levi pulled a few strings with his newfound respected status and got the military to sponsor your citizenship, you were over the moon. Becoming a soldier was the last thing you expected out of your life, but wherever Levi and the others went, you would gladly follow. You felt at home again, throwing your arms around the man for the first time in months and giggling at the fact that while he accepted the gesture and patted your head awkwardly, his lack of affection never changed.

But you were quickly learning that the ideological existence that lived right above your head was just an illusion. You came only to find your friends dead, and Levi more closed off to you than he’d ever been before. Up here, things were far from perfect, and as time went on, you instead yearned for the past if only to appreciate it better a second time around. And although things slowly got better, life was not yet finished throwing its hardships your way.

The last person you had left slowly became out of reach, as time apart inevitably distanced the two of you and gave someone else the opportunity to fill that hole in his heart.  

Reality, you found, was much crueler under the blue of the sky.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“You don’t have to deny it, Levi. I know you better than anyone. I see the way you look at her,” you whispered, wringing your hands together in a feeble attempt to rid of the painful churn in your stomach. “I see it because you used to look at me that way.”  

It was admirable, at least, the effort you put in to keep your voice even. But the silence that followed those broken words was pitiful. The silence made it even more difficult to meet the gaze of the man in front of you. Levi had every opportunity to deny the truth of your burning statement; to bring you back into his arms and reaffirm his love like he used to. Like he would if maybe things were different.

You knew, he had no desire to do that now. Instead, the Captain’s eyes screwed shut and a light sigh escaped his perfect lips, the warmth of it tingling your skin. It was nostalgic, almost, being alone with Levi like this. His face was nearer to yours then it had been in months, enough so that you could make out every tiny detail. The irony of it seemed mocking: for once, you couldn’t bear to look at him. Not that you needed to, with every feature of his sure to forever haunt your memory.

But now all you could see were the interactions they had. Your vision consisted of watching as their bond and understanding grew. It was created in such a short amount of time, but hardly unpredictable with the amount of time Levi and Petra spent together. Even if Levi himself had not realized it, for you, it was plain as day. You knew him better than anyone. Could see that there was no pain in Levi’s eyes when he looked at her. Afterall, unlike you, Petra wasn’t a painful reminder of the past.

Despite his physical closeness, this was the most detached you’ve ever felt from the male. The space between you was strange and unfamiliar. Lonely and cold.

At your words, he exhaled through his nostrils.  

“I would never be unfaithful, (Y/N). I never have been,” he spoke firmly, in that certain tone of speaking only he could manage. “I promised I would never leave you.”

A tear spilled down your cheek, despite your best brave face. It was too much to handle, even for a calloused girl like you. Because despite everything, Levi had always been there. It seemed scary to have life any other way.

Said man took your hand gently, handling it like porcelain. It wasn’t until his skin touched yours that you realized your fingers were shaking, and your facade was crumbling. His gesture was another reminder of what once was. The familiarity of his skin a testament to all the time spent simply existing with one another.

How did it come to this?

“A lot has changed since then, it seems,” you laughed softly, for once pulling away from his touch. “I bet you can’t even look at me without thinking about those two, huh?”

You never once thought it was his fault. Even if you told him that, you knew Levi would always take accountability. Knew he would blame himself for taking Isabel and Farlan away from you. You should have seen this coming. It was inevitable that your love would be tainted, and that he’d find it somewhere else, even if it was unintentional.

“(Y/N), wait—“ there was a small panic that awoke in the raven’s steely eyes that only those who truly knew him would be able to detect.  

“—You know how I feel about you, don't you? I want to be the one who you'd wake up next to every morning. The person you'd trust enough to spill all your secrets to, the one you want to hold close, the one who would make it hurt too much to ever let go. I want to be the person who can make you smile, or laugh until you can't breathe. Your first and last thought of the day, and the one you wonder about even when they’re not around.”

You swallowed a whimper, fists clenched at your sides as your restraint came undone. It was all you’d ever wanted since you were small and starving and Levi was all you had to hold onto.

"But more than anything I want you to be happy. You deserve it.”

And because that’s how much I love you.

“I’d spent the rest of my life with you, if you asked me to,” the stoic Captain stated, as simply and mindlessly as if reciting the weather.

You knew it was true. You also knew better than to let your mind wander to that fantasy, or to let a world come into fruition in which you stopped Levi from pursuing his happiness; held back simply because his loyalty knew no bounds. You refused to be that selfish. You’d rather die a miserable death, a thousand times over. Rather endure this anguish for as long as it resided in your heart then watch his indifference turn to hatred as years of a one-sided relationship droned on and on.

He doesn’t want you anymore.

“I know, Levi.” You paused for a long moment. “Petra's wonderful. I don't hate either of you, I want you to remember that."

You wrapped your arms around yourself, trying desperately to forget the feeling of Levi’s lips on your skin, your face against his chest. The warmth between your ribs or the butterflies in your stomach, or the fireworks of passion that only he could make you feel. Tried to forget the rare but special, secret words of affirmation only your ears got to hear, and the goosebumps they’d send across your skin.

You wanted to erase it all, if only to make it easier to walk away with the knowledge you’d never feel any of that again.

It was pathetic.

There wasn’t anything left to be said. So with the task near impossible, looked at your lover, your best friend, your rock, your Levi, and turned away.

You only managed three steps before a voice followed you and a hand closed around your wrist.

“Is this what you want?” He sounded apathetic, but you knew better. His underlying worry only made the pain feel worse.

“I don’t know.” At the very least, you were honest.

"Will I see you again?"

As adaptable as he was, Levi was never a fan of the unconventionality that was “change.” He was never surprised, quick to go with the flow, even if he preferred certainty and steadiness.

This conversation, though, was one he never expected.

"Of course," you forced a tiny smile, knowing it was more convincing than it felt. "I just need a breather. I'll be back for dinner." The words tasted bitter in your mouth.

That was the first and only lie you'd ever tell Levi Ackerman, having handed in your resignation papers to Erwin just yesterday.

Forgive me, Levi.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Snow fluttered down from the sky, coating the local shops and roofs of buildings with a thick, white blanket. Merchants and store owners alike grumbled their disapproval, bustling to sweep the front of their shops. The air was crisp and biting, yet you relished in the feeling and absorbed the atmosphere. Drunk garrison soldiers loitered around merrily, cheeks flushed from alcohol, catching the flakes in their hair and occasionally slipping on hidden ice in their drunken stupor. It made you chuckle softly, the residences of Wall Roses’ inconvenience the source of your contentment-- this was your first time seeing snow, the real thing a thousand times better than anything you read about in any book.

You strolled through the marketplace, a basket holding bread, dried meats, cheese, and several fruits resting in the crook of your elbow. Your coin purse felt lighter than it had that morning, yet you carried on nonetheless, curious as to what Wall Rose had to offer. Children ran past you, throwing snowballs at each other and nearly running into you because of their haste. The sight made you grin as one of them bumped into one of the street market’s booths, knocking over a few items as he went.

The woman behind the counter chastised them, her shouts growing louder when they barely spared her a glance and blended into the crowd of shoppers. Nick nacks and books were left scattered in their wake, askew on the cobblestone ground.

“Need help, ma’am?,” you asked her, picking up the objects from the ground.

“Thank you, dearie,” she sighed gratefully, taking them from your hands. “Kids these days, so reckless and always in such a hurry.”

You laughed airily, mirth swimming in your eyes.

“You’re just lucky they didn’t steal anything,” you joked, reminiscing about your own thieving past. Your attention turned towards the noting the soldiers now dozing off on top of their card table nearby, tutting their behavior lightheartedly. “Levi, if only the police were like that back when we--”

Out of habit, you turned around to meet his gaze, heart clenching when you remembered he wasn’t there. Your fists clenched to prevent you from smacking yourself at your carelessness. He’s not here, dumbass.

“What was that, hun?” the woman behind the counter inquired, preoccupied in sorting her things.

You put on your best smile, shaking your head before your thoughts could fill with images of a certain raven-haired, steele-eyed, heart-stopping male. The back of your eyes stung, the momentary joy of your first real winter quickly fading away.

“Nothing important.”

This is for the best, (Y/N). You’ve only ever gotten in the way, his whole life. Let the man be.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It had been a few years since that last encounter with him. Part of you still wondered if Levi tried looking for you after realizing your true intentions of never coming back. You hoped he didn't, imagining instead that he'd made the most of the opportunity you'd given him. Prayed that it wasn't all for naught and he instead pursued what (or who) truly made him happy, instead of worrying about other people. In truth, you became content with life, learning to look back on memories fondly and being thankful for their existence.

Residing above ground was enough reason to be grateful in itself, and you did your best to make the most of it. Your days were now spent in ways that paid tribute to your humble beginnings: individuals from the underground who managed to secure citizenship to the surface were put into your care. You helped men, women, and children alike assimilate into living on the surface, which included introducing the area, and assisting in finding housing and jobs. It was rewarding work, but more than anything, reminiscent to be able to see the wonder when their eyes meet the clouds for the very first time. The flickers of hope from your clients were things you carried with you every day. Your chosen profession left plenty of free time, however, as it was relatively rare for individuals to pay the hefty toll of climbing up those stairs.

Your life was average, and for the most part, uneventful. The quietness that accompanied mediocrity proved to be comforting, however. It was a far cry from the days of constantly looking over your shoulder and needing to carry a knife in your boot, just in case.

At first, it was difficult not to cry at the thought of the stoic, raven-haired Ackerman. The heartache weighed down in your chest for a good amount of time. The simplest things reminded you of Levi, but after a while, instances where he’d cross your mind became fewer and further between. With a nicer home than anything you previously owned, a livable income, and an overall peaceful existence, you didn’t have any regrets.

At least, that was what you told yourself until you heard the news.

On off days you worked as a waitress at one of the many taverns within Wall Rose. Large tips were one of the many perks that drew you in originally. The chatter of the customers and frequent bar-goers was a welcome ambience, and an opportunity for you to combat the occasional feeling of loneliness.

Occasionally, Scout Regiment gossip would filter through, especially about Humanity’s Strongest and the new titan shifter Eren Jeager. Updates were nice, knowing Levi was safe and thriving in what he did best. But as you placed a pint of beer on one of the tables and overheard a heavy set man babble loudly to his comrade, dread splashed over you in waves.

“The Captain was the only survivor in his squad. He wasn’t even with them when it happened, poor guy. He must feel terribly guilty.”

Your vision became hazy as you tried not to panic; of all the rumours that filtered through the drunk mouths of customers, you had never heard bad news like this before. The last you’d heard, human kind was given a beacon of hope, and things were looking up after Eren Jaeger managed to plug up the hole in Trost.

“Excuse me, but which squad did you say this happened to?” you heard your voice say.  

Across the table, the other man took a swig of his drink, and grunted indignantly.

“Levi Squad, the best in the military I heard. A shame, but I suppose even the top in the Survey Corps are still just suicidal maniacs when it comes down to it.”

No, no, no, no. This wasn’t supposed to happen!

After that, everything became white noise. You could only register every third movement, heart thundering in your ears. The tray you’d been holding to carry the drinks clattered as it fell to the ground, causing a few gasps and strange looks to be thrown in your direction. In your horrified state, dread weighed down like lead in your body. You rushed to the back room, tears clouding your vision as you tried not to stumble.

You gripped the edges of the washroom sink, dizzy with this newfound information.

Levi has now lost more people that he loved, and was probably experiencing the same survivor’s guilt as he did with Isabel and Farlan. He was most likely suffering alone right now, never having been one to let people see his vulnerability so easily.

You did not witness first hand what your friends’ deaths meant to him. When the Captain waited for you at the top of the staircase, his expression never seemed out of the ordinary. Levi was kind enough to let you enjoy your first few days up with him simply enjoying the newfound freedom. He made the excuse that your two other comrades were out on business somewhere, and would be back to see you soon. Maybe, at the time, your excitement blinded you from the deeper emotions hidden in his voice.

When you found out the truth, their passing broke you. The fact that Levi shouldered any blame, however, is what twisted the knife. He had been grieving by himself; feeling that pain without anyone to comfort him. He had to put on a brave face just to see you; secretly spending that last month alone, probably relaying over and over how he would break the news to you.

Your remorse increased tenfold when it was him who held you, and him who put you back together, just like he had to for himself. And now he was by himself all over again.

I have to do something.

Splashing water on your face, you straightened up and looked in the mirror, a sudden surge of guilt coursing through your veins.

You refused to let Levi be alone this time around, no matter how he might feel about you now.

~~~~~~~

Part Two!

#snk levi #levi #levi ackerman imagine #levi ackerman gif #levi ackerman fanfiction #levi ackerman x reader #levi ackerman #AoT #attack on titan imagines #attack on titan #shingeki no kyojin #snk #snk fic #aot fic #levi x reader

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fruitcoops · 3 years

Note

You write Moody so well! I would love to see something where Moody and Remus talk for the first time after Coops was outed. Whether it happens after the meeting Coops had with Arthur and Alice or after the all star break. I feel like they have such a good relationship!

Thanks! This was partially inspired by watching The Karate Kid (1984) last night, so I hope y'all are ready for some mentor hurt/ comfort this fine Sunday! SW credit goes to @lumosinlove

TW for mentioned forced outing

Remus was almost done. He only had a few more drawers to clean out. The whiteboards were as squeaky and shiny as the day he arrived; the desk had a few more dents and coffee stains decorating the surface, but overall it looked decent. He still couldn’t bring himself to take the pictures off, though. It was his life. His friends. He just couldn’t do it.

The sleeve of his ancient Wisconsin hoodie was still damp when he smudged it under his runny nose. No tears had fallen, but he could feel the maelstrom gathering in his throat. Everything he had worked for, gone because of one stupid mistake.

Not Sirius, of course. Sirius would never be a mistake. It was Remus’ fault they had been caught in the first place.

He stared around his office in misery—no official notice of his layoff had arrived, but he knew it would come, and it was always better to be prepared. Maybe it would hurt less if he did it himself, one final ‘fuck you’ to the homophobes before he trooped off with his tail between his legs.

The tiles were cold through the seat of his comfiest jeans. He tucked his knees closer to his chest.

A quiet knock at the door interrupted the suffocating silence. He didn’t answer.

“Kid?”

Remus’ lower lip wobbled and he croaked out a ‘come in’ with as much strength as he could muster; it wasn’t much. The door opened with a creak—he had never gotten around to having it fixed, after all—and uneven footsteps shuffled in, followed by a sigh as his visitor settled next to him on the floor.

“You have a chair, you know.”

“I know,” he whispered.

“Not all of us have young knees. Doesn’t your ass hurt?”

Remus nodded.

Moody huffed through his nose and hoisted him up by the arm. “Well Christ, kid, up you come. You’re awfully dense for a beanpole. What, you got concrete for bones or something?”

“No,” Remus mumbled as he followed Moody across the hall and allowed himself to be plonked down in the soft chair by the door. It was his favorite of both their offices; as far as he knew, Moody never let anyone else sit there. His chest seized as a sob tried to fight its way out. “I’m sorry.”

Moody shot him a look at he got comfortable in the adjacent seat. “For what?”

“I dunno.”

“I don’t like useless apologies, Lupin.”

Remus sniffled. “I should’ve told you.”

“Says who?” Moody snorted. “Your business is your business. You’re a bright young man, none of this is your f—oh. Okay, Lupin, easy does it.”

“I’m sorry,” Remus blubbered as the tears finally started to fall. “I’m sorry, I know you don’t like crying, but I’m kind of a wreck right now.”

Moody made a few soft shushing noises, inching closer until he could wrap an arm around Remus’ shoulders and pat his arm like he was trying to soothe a frightened dog. “Don’t be sorry,” he said. “You’ve got nothing to be sorry for.”

The sobs were near-silent; Remus never cried loudly if he could help it, and he already felt bad enough for dripping his perpetual raincloud all over Moody’s office. He caught his breath after a few hitching inhales and scrubbed at his face with his sleeve. “Are you mad at me?”

“No.”

“Really?”

“You didn’t do anything wrong.”

Remus pulled his knees up again and hugged them tight to his chest. “I haven’t called my parents yet.”

“Did they know?”

His heart gave another painful yank. “Nobody knew. Nobody. And—and now it’s everywhere and people won’t leave me alone and I’m gonna get fired—”

“Woah, deep breaths,” Moody interrupted gently, giving him a little shake. “You’re not getting fired.”

“Yes, I am.” Everything felt gross and cold and sad.

“Who told you that?”

“Coach said it might happen ‘cause I’m a doctor.”

Moody scanned his face for a moment, then reached over and grabbed a box of tissues off his desk. “First of all, take some of these. You look like a mud puddle, Lupin. It’s very unsettling. Second, this is a complicated situation and I wouldn’t be too quick to make assumptions. And third, I’ll go to bat for you.”

He paused midway through blowing his nose. “What?”

“You’re a good man. An excellent PT. The best colleague I’ve ever had, actually. You know your shit and if they try to fire you over this, I’m not going to make it easy for them.”

More tears threatened to fall over the edge of his itchy eyes. “You’d do that for me?”

“Don’t sound so surprised,” Moody grumbled.

“He hasn’t called.”

“Who?”

“Sirius.” Remus swallowed hard and, before he could second guess himself, leaned his head on Moody’s solid shoulder. “I’ve called him 23 times and he hasn’t answered a single one. He just…left. Didn’t even look at me.”

“He’s making a mistake.”

“I ruined his life.”

“Hey.” Moody’s tone turned stern. “You don’t get to talk shit about yourself in my office. This is a Lupin Appreciation Zone.”

Remus’ shoulders shook and he closed his eyes; he wished he could just dissolve into the floor and stay there until someone mopped him up. Everything hurt. The world sucked. Moody—

Moody was petting his hair.

The tears stopped abruptly and Remus hiccupped in pure confusion. “What’re you doing?”

“I’m bad at comfort, kid, gimme a break.” The sat in silence for a few seconds as Moody continued to pat his head and muss his hair, which was in dire need of a cut but just long enough to cover his eyes when it was pushed forward. “Feeling better?”

“Yeah, actually. How did you…?”

Something akin to embarrassment tinted Moody’s cheeks and he cleared his throat. “My cat hates thunderstorms.”

“Oh. Cool. Thanks.”

“No problem.”

“Thanks,” Remus said again, much quieter. Moody’s office always felt safe; all the clutter was in its proper place, clean and homey. The touch of familiarity was more of a comfort than he cared to admit. He sat up straight and wiped his face clean, then leaned forward to rest his elbows on his knees. “If I do get fired—”

“You won’t.”

“If I do, I wanted to say thank you for changing my life.” The words hung in the air. “You—without you, I would never have felt at home here. You were the best mentor I could ever ask for and I’m never going to forget that. You did more than just teaching me routines. Thank you.”

Moody cleared his throat again. “Tissues.”

Remus silently passed the box.

“If anyone gives you shit for being gay, you call me and I’ll take care of it,” Moody said once the tissue had disappeared into the depths of his pocket.

Remis blinked at him. “Are you offering to hurt someone for me?”

“I’ll deny it in court.”

“I’ll keep that in mind,” he laughed. “Fuckin’ hell, this is a mess. I’m a mess.”

“You just got outed and your boyfriend ditched you in an airport,” Moody said bluntly, fixing Remus with a look. “You’re allowed to be a mess. Now go talk to Lily. Call your mom. Do whatever you do that makes you so sunshiney, and then we’re gonna unpack all your shit and put it back where it belongs.”

Remus swallowed hard. Fuck it. Fuck the NHL, fuck the homophobes, and fuck being sad.

Moody narrowed his eyes. “You want to use the kicking bag, don’t you?”

“I really, really do.”

---------------------

“Stupid—fucking—son of a bitch!” Remus gritted out as the beat-up and half-folded gym mat squeaked under his assault. It was two inches of plastic and therapy—he was 90% sure Moody had stolen it from a middle school gym, and it had rapidly become the team’s favorite way of winding down after a frustrating day.

“Harder!” Moody barked behind him.

Remus wound up and slammed his foot into it again. “I worked too damn hard to be kicked out for this bullshit!”

“Damn right you did!”

The kicking bag creased in the center. “And I’ve got too much student debt to walk out of here like—like a coward!”

“Yes, you do!”

His grief had burnt off at least five minutes prior. Remus was well and truly pissed now. “And it’s nobody’s goddamn business who I kiss!”

“That’s the spirit!” Moody cheered.

“And maybe his face is stupidly pretty!” Remus threw his shoulder against the mat before he resumed kicking it. “And, yeah, he has really nice shoulders and a great ass—”

“Lupin—”

“But fuck him for leaving me in an airport! What kind of douchebag does that to a guy? I’m hot and smart and nice and I can date whoever the hell I want if he doesn’t appreciate that!”

“That’s certainly one approach!”

Remus stopped with a harsh exhale and dropped one last halfhearted kick to the base. “I don’t want anyone else, though. And I miss his stupid pretty face.”

A hand, heavy but gentle, squeezed his shoulder. “Then go get him.”

#remus lupin #alastor moody #sweater weather #lumosinlove #my fic #fanfic

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nanasparadise · 3 years

Text

“Imprisonment” Yan!Jolyne x female reader

This blog was in dire need of some wlw content. In that sense, I hope you had a happy pride month and enjoy this piece!

Summary: You are the target of many inmates in Green Dolphin. That changes when Jolyne becomes your cellmate, for the better or worse.

TW: toxic relationship, prison, bullying, violence, insults, threats, slight gore (ear mutilation), noncon kiss, allusions to NSFW, MATURE AUDIENCE ONLY/MINORS DNI

Word count: 2853

I do not condone any yandere behaviour in real life.

„Get your ass moving, girl!”

You truly hated it here. A day spent at Green Dolphin felt like being ten years in hell. The queue in the prison cafeteria moved forward quickly, since everyone got the same horrible food. As you hadn’t reacted fast enough, you’d received rude comments. At this point, you didn’t care about the insults anymore. You were used to them, you had no affiliation with anyone here, meaning the other inmates saw you as fair game. In addition to your nature as a pushover, you weren’t surprised to be the target of many prisoner’s sadistic streak.

You took your tray containing your lunch – a portion of rather questionable meat and some mashed potatoes – and went to your solitary table. A blissful sigh escaped your lips when you finally were alone in your corner. No, worse than any insults or solitude were the threats, hidden under fake smiles. Not a single day went without them. You always were forced to do ‘voluntary tasks’ for the designated mean girls of Green Dolphin or ‘lend’ them money. It was humiliating, really, but you didn’t want to end up beaten to death in your cell, so you followed their instructions.

Once you completed the laundry task, you decided to spend the rest of the afternoon in the library, hoping to find an interesting enough book to teleport you away for a couple hours from your harsh reality. You settled into the couch with a novel in your hands, enjoying this slight moment of calmness. Your peace was short-lived though as a blonde woman approached you, a saccharine smile plastered on her face. Oh no, you knew where this would go.

“Hi! How are you doing today?”, she greeted you with a fake happiness swinging in her tone.

“Fine”, you mumbled quietly, not being able to assert yourself.

“I’m glad to hear that!,” she replied, though you knew she didn’t give a shit about your well-being, “Look, I’m so sorry to bother you again, but could you give me ten dollars? I need them for something very important and you’ll get them back in no time!” She batted her eyelashes at you, seemingly coming across as innocent.

“I would, but I forgot the money in my cell”, you countered, trying to come up with an excuse.

“Then stand up and get it.” Her voice had already shifted into a menacing tone, eyes gleaming like a predator.

“I don’t know if I-“

“Y/N, that was your name, right? Well, if you don’t get me my money, our friendship will be ruined and you’re aware of the consequences of that, aren’t you?”, your fellow inmate replied while pulling you by the collar of your uniform up from the couch.

“Right…,” you whispered, accepting your defeat, “I’ll get it for you.”

“Awesome!,” the blonde chirped, all sunshine and rainbows again, “I’ll wait for you here, just don’t take too long.”

That was how your life went. You didn’t complain too much, you knew it could be way worse than that. And it wasn’t as if you had much of a choice to change it anyway. You weren’t going to be released from prison in the next twenty five years. “So just accept it and move on, day by day”, you mused, repeating that thought every day.

Your life took a turn, however, when a new inmate joined Green Dolphin. She was a young woman around your age, dark buns adorning her head and a green fringe framing her face. You had been spared from a cellmate, but that all changed now, as she was your new roomie. “Great,” you thought bitterly, “now my last bit of peace has been stolen from me.”

She introduced herself as Jolyne Kujo. Jolyne seemed to be still quite naïve when it came to prison life, claiming she’d been conned and that her lawyer would certainly take her out from there. “It’s time to face the fact that no one cares if you’re here for a valid reason or not, trust me, I know it from experience”, you thought, though you didn’t dare voice that to her.

She actually turned out to be nice. And with that, you meant that she respected your private space and didn’t threaten you. In exchange, you offered her some advice on who to avoid in jail, which the woman gladly accepted.

At first, the change was barely noticeable. Jolyne kept herself quiet except for the occasional small talk in your cell or during a shared task. Instead, she chose to lounge around two other inmates you hardly knew, one with dark braids and the other with a weird-looking green cap. You were glad to see that at least she formed a group, being able to protect herself now better from potential harassers if needed.

Of course you were still exposed to them. You made your way to the shower as a woman with broad muscles approached you, face turned into a dark grimace. By her build and expression, you’d first assumed she was a guard until you’d noticed the familiar uniform.

“You there!”, she shouted at you, a finger pointing menacingly at you as she came closer, “Give me your money, now!”

You cowered back into the corner of the shower room, panic flooding your system. “I’m sorry,” you stuttered, “I don’t have anything on me, I can give it to you after-“

“Don’t fucking play with me, bitch”, she brutely interjected, nostrils flaring up angrily due to exhaling. Your aggressor stood now in front of you, a strong hand wrapping itself around your throat and threatening to cut off your airflow. She yanked you up in the air as she continued her assault. “You think you can pick and choose? Does this place look like fucking Disneyland to you? You better give me my money now if you don’t wanna end up choking water and being beaten up like the dirty street mutt you are.” You were already flinching when the prisoner raised her fist to punch your face as a voice suddenly interrupted you.

“I think that’s enough”, Jolyne said in a firm tone, a fierce expression marking her face.

“And who the hell are you? Wanna join your little friend here?”, your tormentor commented, unimpressed by your cellmate’s entrance.

“Big words for someone who’ll soon be nothing but a bloody pulp”, Jolyne answered, not faltering under the inmate’s glare.

Your harasser proceeded to laugh out loud at her words, obviously not taking her seriously. She dropped you unceremoniously as she shifted all her attention to your saviour instead. Desperately, you panted for air, your hands moving to your hurting throat. You remained in your corner as you observed the scene unfolding in front of you.

“As if you weakling could do anything against me,” your tantaliser spit out, still chuckling at Jolyne’s words, “I’d kill you with my pinky finger.”

Jolyne remained strangely calm, choosing to smile at the threat. “We’ll see about that”, was the only thing she uttered before she lunged at her with incredible speed. Clearly, you weren’t the only one surprised as the inmate’s eyes widened as well. Jolyne turned the bully’s bewilderment into her advantage, her fist immediately connecting with the inmate’s nose. The latter let out a shrill scream, blood dripping out of her nostril. Clearly, she didn’t expect your roommate to do any real damage, let alone break her nose.

Jolyne shook the hand she punched her with, her knuckles reddened and slightly torn open from the assault. You kept staring at both of them, petrified and unsure about what to do now.

“I’ll kill you for that, you bitch,” your aggressor barked out angrily, “and your little friend will pay, too.”

You started trembling at the thought of her hand around your neck again.

“I’ll look for a guard, Jolyne”, you eventually said, the fear barely hidden in your voice. You decided this was enough and someone had to put an end to this.

“Stay here”, your cellmate replied authoritatively. For the first time, you were actually scared of her. “I’ll teach this woman that she needs to face consequences for her actions.”

With these words, Jolyne placed her fingers on your tormentor’s right ear. You wondered what she’d do next when a sudden yell disrupted your thoughts. The inmate’s cry was far worse than the previous one, emitting all of her pain and agony. You could hardly listen to it.

Then, with great horror, you finally noticed it. Her ear shell laid on the floor, blood coating the cut off organ. Your gaze travelled to Jolyne, waiting for an explanation to your unvoiced question, though she kept her eyes fixated on the prisoner’s pain-ridden face.

“You won’t touch Y/N or me ever again, did I make myself clear?”, she asked, her voice coated with barely concealed anger. Your bully only gave out a whimper, but the answer seemed to satisfy Jolyne. “Good. Now, if you see any guards, you keep our names out of your mouth, unless you want to lose another body part.”

The following weeks, Jolyne had become overly protective. She clung to you like a lost child, afraid that you’d be hurt or threatened again without her presence. You didn’t know if you should be grateful or terrified for her protection.

You’d asked her how she’d been able to cut that one prisoner’s ear off, but her explanation had been more confusing than enlightening. She’d talked about a Stand ability and how only so-called Stand users could see and wield it, but nothing made sense to you. You started to believe she’d just lost her mind.

Jolyne had also introduced you to her friend group. Ermes and Foo Fighters seemed nice enough, though they behaved in the same weird manner as your cellmate did. You felt awkward in their presence, not knowing why you were even there in the first place.

In the end, you decided to be thankful. With Jolyne and her friends by your side, no one bullied you anymore. And if your peace meant to spend some time with your cellmate, that was a small price to pay, right?

You didn’t notice the pair of chartreuse eyes observing every bit of your sleeping form. You never did.

Jolyne had been looking at you for many nights. This time, it wasn’t an exception. She tentatively brushed her hand over your cheek, marvelling at your slight reaction as you furrowed your brows at the touch.

“You’re really cute Y/N, do you know that?”, she whispered to you. Of course you were unable to answer.

Jolyne had been unusually shy around you. She was well aware of the fact that after her act of violence, you felt uncomfortable around her, possibly even scared. She tried so so hard to make you see that she was only protecting you! In fact, the young woman wondered how you could have even survived in Green Dolphin before her arrival.

She had a hard time picturing your life without her in it. At first, she’d been furious and crushed at the revelation that her ex-boyfriend had purposefully framed her for a crime she hadn’t committed. She had loved Romeo, so naturally, her heart had been broken.

But then, you entered her life. She saw now why she needed to be here. Who else could protect you, love you, like Jolyne? You were everything she had ever wanted.

Lovingly, she placed a small kiss on your cheek. You stirred slightly from the feathery peck. Nevertheless, you continued your slumber. Jolyne wished she could touch you more deliberately, more intensely. She’d grown tired of this little hiding game. The prisoner didn’t want to secretly let your brush run through her hair anymore, imagining it were your fingers instead or coo at you when you were sleeping. No, she wanted to feel you, to be touched and loved by you.

Sure, you might feel uncomfortable around her, but that was only because you didn’t see how much she cherished you. Maybe it was time to be bolder around you.

“Hey Y/N, could you give me my toothbrush, please?”

“Sure”, you replied casually as you handed the desired object over to her.

“Thanks, you truly are the sweetest.”

Your face heated up at her flirtatious tone. “She definitely didn’t mean it in that way”, you thought to calm your nerves.

“You still don’t want to join me showering? I’d hate for you to get attacked again”, your cellmate asked you, concern swinging in her voice.

“I’m good,” you mumbled, “I’ll just go next morning. And I doubt anyone’s gonna threaten me again after your lesson.” The thought of Jolyne mutilating another inmate terrified you, no matter how much your former aggressor deserved it.

“Come on, you’re just afraid to see me naked,” Jolyne teased while giving you a toothy grin, “it’s alright, you can tell me. I don’t mind.”

You didn’t think you could get more flustered. “That’s not it!”, you countered hastily, “I mean not that you're not a beautiful woman or anything, it’s just that…”

Jolyne stopped listening and straightened her back. You thought she was beautiful? Was this finally the moment she’d been waiting for? A dreamy expression marked her bright eyes.

“You think we could be a thing?”, Jolyne interjected your rambling.

“What?!”, you stuttered, unsure if you heard her correctly.

“I mean, I do really like you.” Suddenly, she stood up from her bed and moved over to you. You stared at her big-eyed, still not knowing what was going on. A hand came resting on your cheek as her gaze was locked on you. “Who am I kidding? I’m totally in love with you.” She softly traced her fingers over your skin, sending a chill down your spine.

“Jolyne”, you whispered quietly. You had no clue how to handle the situation, images of her brutal side flashing up in your mind again. You gulped harshly. “I didn’t know you felt this way, I thought we were friends.”

“We are friends,” the young woman retorted, “we could just be more, you know?” Jolyne leaned into you, closing the space between you, as her lips landed on yours. She kissed you with gentleness and care, as if you were made of glass. When you felt her teeth slightly tugging at your bottom lip, begging for more, you eventually snapped out of your surprise and pushed her away from you.

“What was that?”, you asked her out of breath, unable to conceal your anger.

“I’ve kissed you, silly.”

“I’ve just told you that I’m not interested in a relationship!”

Ah yes. That must have been when Jolyne had blended you out in favour of marvelling at your compliment.

“I think you should think about that again”, your cellmate replied, a dark edge manifesting in her voice.

“And why is that? Do you want to cut my ear off too?”, you asked, your iritateness making you feel reckless.

Jolyne huffed at your comment. She did that for you!

“At least you could be grateful for what I did,” she spit out, “but no, I’d never hurt you. I can’t guarantee the same thing about the other inmates though.”

You immediately caught onto the threat. Your anger easily transformed into fear again as you realised what impact your words had on the woman in front of you. When Jolyne noticed you wouldn’t counter, she put her hand on your body again, this time deciding to let it travel up and down your arm.

“If you keep saying mean things to me,” she said, her voice still sounding menacing despite her gentle hand movement, “I might just not talk to you anymore. Once the others see that we’re not hanging out anymore, they’ll just change their mind and choose you as their target again. And what do you do without my protection? You don’t want to be their punching bag again, do you, hm?”

“No”, you managed to utter silently, eyes cast onto the floor.

“Look sweetheart, I can make an exception for today. I’ll forget your behaviour and you reciprocate, right? Unless you want to go back to your initial position.”

“No!”, you answered a bit too fast, your eyes looking at her face again. You could only imagine what the inmate with the mutilated ear would do to you… “I’ll be good, I promise.”

Jolyne took hold of chin, ensuring that your eyes were still trained at her. Then, she kissed you again. Despite your feelings, you gave in, much to her pleasure. When she eventually removed her lips from yours, she shot you another love-struck gaze.

You knew your life in Green Dolphin had been shitty before Jolyne, but now you only felt what it meant to be truly imprisoned.

“I’m glad to hear that, honey,” the young woman said with a bedazzling smile on her face, “I’d suggest we finally take a shower, after all I can’t wait to see everything of my darling.”

Her grin gained a sinister note.

“And we’ll see how the night goes after that.”

#JoJo's Bizarre Adventure #Jojo no Kimyou na Bouken #stone ocean #yandere jolyne #yandere jolyne x reader #yandere x reader #tw: yandere #tw: threats #tw: toxic relationship #tw: noncon kiss #tw: slight gore #tw: ear mutilation #tw: bullying #tw: prison #tw: insults #tw: violence #minors dni

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