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itsgoghtime · 1 year

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@nobody33333333 and @sophieswundergarten - my friends!!!

Here - as promised - Chapter 2 of S.O.S. thoughts with all the chaotic screenshot highlights (was going to do multiple chapters per post, but after reviewing how many highlights I had... they each get one) - I tried my best to organize them from top left to bottom right in order… it is what it is 🤣

So, my deepest apologies for this being a literal eternity long - but I really enjoyed making it so I hope you enjoy it too!

Spoilers for S.O.S. Chapter Two : A Deal With The Devil ahead!!

Never thought I’d feel this way about characters I’ve never met - and never thought I’d feel this way about characters I have met.

Just.... WOW

The line about not intending on making friends? Cannot tell you how many times I have intentionally been this way and yet... have met some of my favorite people, even when I’m not intentionally going about trying to make friends. Hit home. 100%.

And THEN “People he would be expected to care for, care about, and be vulnerable with? Absolutely not. That was a life that he had left behind, or rather it was a life that had left him behind.” OuCh my friend - but this perfectly encapsulates why Curtain is always trying to be so emotionally neutral. Not only does he not want to have to do that for other people to risk judgement, but the simultaneous feeling of abandonment - gosh darn it this was just a really well written line.

Okay - with this one too, the crackheadish highlight in the middle - talking about how he’s “preoccupied with ending up richer and more successful than his own brother” and then going on to talk about how his professors had noticed his talent... this helped me really begin to see Curtain’s motives. It’s not only that drive to be better than Nicholas, it’s also that drive to be better than everyone else - he has to have the high ground over everyone else to really avoid that vulnerability, if that makes sense.

I absolutely LOVE the idea that not only does he show up early to lecture, but that the one time - the one time - he shows up late, it’s taken by someone else that he literally just glares at to get him to move. What a guy.

Pedalian. My dear Pedalian. His description - from Curtain’s being intrigued by his questions to the description of how his hands and feet are too big for his awkward body - immediately became a favorite. Immediately. No questions asked. He is just a precious person and needs to be protected. (a lot like Nicholas, really)

DEWEY OHMYGOSH I about DiEd when I read his name - both out of “OHMYGOSH I KNOW HIS SON” and “OHMYGOSH I NEED TO SMOTHER HIM AND SHOVE HIM INTO THE TRUNK OF A CAR” ... so there’s that.

although, to balance out the previous comment about Dewey - the line about his son being rejected by Boatright and the Institute brought me so much joy I let go of the part about the trunk of the car. Would have been really funny if Curtain had realized who this kid was - but with the amount of time that passed, it makes sense that none of them realized it.

Pedalian wanting to crawl into a hole (felt this) and subsequent Curtain - shockingly enough on all parts - speaking up for Pedalian and telling Dewey to shut up - was absolutely beautiful and I swear I read that part like four times. So good.

okay and then the friendship line from Dewey - still want to smack him - “clueless clumsy idiot and a frigid intolerable perfectionist.” and then Curtain denying friendship for the first time of many many times

Okay - and then we start comparing Pedalian to Nicholas and it tugged on my heartstrings. First, by acknowledging that he had defended Nicholas when they were young and then talking about his abandonment - and the part with “relentless cheerfulness and optimism in the face of adversity” followed by “Maybe that had triggered his autopilot response.” and THEN “Well, this would be the last time that happened.” GAHHHHHHH can’t handle it.

Curtain exiting the room swiftly to “avoid unnecessary conversation” had me laughing - have done this and will continue to do this myself. I think it’s also interesting that it’s probably part of his attempt to avoid having to answer questions and be vulnerable about it - hehe which does NOT work for him because Pedalian “proved to be more a problem.”

PEDALIAN MY HEAVENS - he just needs a hug, okay? People need to be kinder to him - he’s just a lil guy. hehe not that Curtain cared at that moment, with his whole “I know who you are. We have class together.” that had me laughing.

He doesn’t get to catch a break either - because Pedalian is now determined that this man is going to be his friend - walking with Curtain inviting him to hang out and being completely okay when he says no - PROTECT HIMMMM

The line where “Almost as if he had actually enjoyed Pedalian’s company. But that was a ridiculous notion.” my heavens he really has no idea how important this stranger is going to become to him, does he? OUCH

Heheheeee I love the paralells between “oh, my spot in class has been taken, better get rid of them.” and “what the heck this woman is in my other preferred spot, but I can’t get rid of her... guess she can stay.” and then him realizing she’s his academic competition - get him Garrison, GET HIM

also, Curtain with his “most people did give him what he wanted, eventually” this was a frightening kind of hysterical because it’s true - and then “To ask her to leave would mean talking, and he was not in the mood for another conversation. Leaving would mean showing weakness, and he was not about to do that either.” had me DYING - he really has to have the high ground in any given situation - and then deciding it’s okay as long as she doesn’t do anything.

I love seeing Curtain’s barrier begin to come down a little bit as he sees Garrison in the library and how he begins to actually interact with Pedalian and enjoys it.

Okay - very important part - “It had been a long time since he had had someone talk to him casually and openly. The last time he experienced that was when Nicholas would ramble excitedly about whatever was interesting him at the moment. That was before Nicholas started to cover up his joy to stave off narcoleptic attacks. As much as Curtain had always complained about his brother’s incoherent rants, he still felt the loss the day his brother finally stopped. It felt like a piece of Nicholas had been taken away. And now, listening to Pedalian, he felt that hole filling up again. It was like suddenly finding something you had forgotten you lost and being reminded of why you missed it in the first place.” OHMYGOSH - I have always considered that Nathaniel was holding back emotion to stop his narcoleptic attacks - but I had never really considered that Nicholas had started covering up his joy to stop his narcoleptic attacks. I mean, my heavens. This one hurt my soul - you can totally see it in the show too. (the first instance that came to mind was in season two when Nicholas has just got back from the broadcast, and he’s tossing that lemon around, he keeps trying to calm himself down to stop an attack, but because it’s not real joy, he’s able to keep feeling that joy. I’m sure theres many more instances but... just WOW)

also - Curtain feeling like Pedalian is filling that hole that had been empty for such a long time... ouch friend. That was beautiful but DARN did it hurt.

Curtain trying to rationalize why he enjoys being around Pedalian and why he enjoys having Garrison around - and convincing himself that it’s that he craves variety... again - it all has to do with suppressing his vulnerability trigger and I absolutely love the attention and detail that goes into this part of him.

“Families, celebrations, joy: those things were for the priveleged.” and “The only friend he needed was himself.” MY hEaVeNs - just casually thinking about season two and “joy” and how alone Nathaniel looks... and then back to the line about how his entire career is basically just trying to be better than Nicholas - I’m connecting all the dots

okay but Pedalian inviting Ledroptha over for Thanksgiving and seeing straight through his “I have plans but I really don’t” brought me so much joy - and finally getting the man to do something not by himself - Go Pedalian, Go! (but Curtain’s “Well, don’t get too excited, I’m not able to stay for long.” we love him though)

AQUAINTANCES - this theme that rings through the next little while absolutely sent me - really has put up those barriers and there isn’t anyone that can break them... until they do

The awkward “we already know each other but we totally don’t” intro with Garrison was very amusing to me. BUT Pedalian being so kind an inviting to literally anyone he could find that didn’t have anywhere to go for Thanksgiving - cannot express how much I love his character.

Garrison apologizing for her food being vegan and Curtain coming back with his lil “so long as you don’t mind that I brought turkey.”

I absolutely love these people who keep breaking Curtain’s assumptions - Wetherall is the perfect example with the last line in the paragraph “surely, he had somewhere else he could have gone.” oh, and Milligan bringing so much food - I have a cousin that’s really into sports and such and his metabolism is so high so I can understand why Milligan was doing what he did - thought it was funny that Curtain had to think about that for a moment though

The line about Garrison - “being around other people in a suit room seemed to make her look healthier and happier than she ever looked at the library.” and thinking about the events that follow and then on top of all that, whole root cellar thing in season two - ouch. Also Curtain noticing her glancing at the wine - just the little details are so amazing to me

PEDALIAN AND BIRD WATCHING GAHHHHHH - just YES

Curtain refusing to share because he doesn’t want pity - this is a completely understandable emotion and way of thinking - it’s really interesting watching their different perspectives and ways of coping with and portraying of their pain - absolutely fascinates me

Pedalian realizing that they all don’t necessarily love being vulnerable was Curtains Hail Mary - but Milligan really hit home with “You get it too. I can tell.” WHICH KATE TOTALLY SAYS (loved the parallel!) and I appreciate that it was literally from a place of empathy and not “oh so now you need to tell us your story”

I absolutely loved reading about them making pies together - that was beautiful and I keep thinking about it randomly for no reason and the line after where “by the end of the evening, all four of them felt happier than they had in a long time” was AMAZING (and subsequent Curtain being horrified that he now had friends - love him)

Also loved how you described friendships being created so instantly through even just one experience - and THEN the parallel of that last line with Kate’s from season one “Even if one of them were to have the memory erased from their mind, or were made to forget that night, deep down they all knew that even if the day came when they didn’t know each other; they knew each other.” AND THE FORESHADOWING FOR LATER CHAPTERS OHMYGOODHEAVENS

This next part - going through and describing Curtain’s rationalization for “not caring” about each of his friends (coughcough okay, colleagues coughcough) and connecting Pedalian yet again to Nicholas - sensational and brings me joy

MILLIGANS GIRLFRIEND IS CAPTAIN OF THE TETHERBALL TEAM WHAT THE HECK - straight up YES from me - hehe also Milligan being the most “normal” and “likable” out of them all made me chuckle because he totally is

The line about Dewey wanting to destroy their group was really interesting to me. Especially connecting it to Curtain, who has to live within his illusion of control and then makes some interesting decisions with his future - very fascinating to me. I love that it’s capstoned with “Ledroptha Curtain of course had no intention of being destroyed by anyone.” nah, my friends - he has the high ground - nobody stands a chance

I recently was watching season two - and when Curtain corrects Jeffers “his society of children.” AND I CONNECTED the dots to Pedalian’s “we’re not a circle, we’re a society!” made me very happy indeed, followed with Curtain’s practical eye roll and wishing Pedalian would keep his mouth shut - yesssssssssss

I love the Society of Orphan Scientists or S.O.S. - I LOVE IT and there’s so much symbolism behind the fact that it shares the same acronym for actual SOS - all the feels there

I love Garrison coming at Dewey with such sarcastic remarks - GET HIM GIRL - also Curtain enjoying Garrison as his academic competition - competent competition- makes me laugh

Curtain having to console Nicholas - and later Pedalian - my heart - but this girl is an art major and SQ… MY HEART OKAY

Pedalian remarking that Milligan has the dating experience, but that Ledroptha can “dress fancy” and Garrison is a woman so she knows things and his lil “Guys do that for girls they like in movies, so I figured it makes sense for me to do the same thing here.” he’s just the sweetest person my HEAVENS

Curtain truly playing protective older brother - determining if Pedalian is out of her league, her seeing straight through his demeanor and Curtain not liking being called an older brother… because of Nicky… AHHHHH

But Pedalian warning her about Curtain brought me so much joy - “you’re his best friend” and CURTAIN BEING OKAY WITH ITTTT - noting the resemblance between the two and Pedalian looking like Nicholas… my good gracious AND not only being able to note her genuineness, but thinking more about Nicholas as Pedalian leaves... tugging my sad lil heartstrings my HEAVENS

okay - this next highlight section made me literally scream - let me just say, I went and read your prequel, The Oldest Siblings (which I love with my entire heart for many many reasons and may make a post going into why at some point when I’m caught up with these) but DANG this whole thought process of what would have happened if the brothers had reunited and been a part of each other’s lives - AND the kicker, “He hoped sisters were more loyal than brothers.” GAHHHHH yesssss

There is something so bittersweet about knowing both sides of the brother’s stories - knowing that Nicholas really did want Nathaniel back but that he needed some space to become his own person - and knowing that Nathaniel really never truly gave up hope that Nicholas would come back - I mean, he likes to deny that it’s not about control or that he doesn’t think about Nicky very often... but this entire fic really demonstrates that he still deeply cares and after being able to rewatch the season two finale again after reading it, really opened my eyes to the deeper facets of his character. BEAUTIFUL

My good GRACIOUS can I just say... not only Milligan’s girlfriend having cancer, but Pedalian’s as well... and knowing what happens later absolutely tears me open like a can of mAnDaRiN oRaNgEs

okay - Curtain giving up on romance for the two reasons (vulnerability trigger, and romance is a waste of time compared to intellectual pursuits) - this MAN - I can relate more on the struggle of being vulnerable, but the whole process of giving up... yep. I get that.

AHAAAAAAA Wetherall assuming that there’s something going on between Curtain and Garrison made me laugh more than it probably should have - with your context of “girl rejects guy and guy throws a fit over it”, knowing about Curtain’s vulnerability trigger, knowing that he rationalized it with his knowledge that she does not like him back, AND the cherry on top - “if he ever found himself liking anyone like that, he would make sure it didn’t last.”

and that bottom paragraph - the one about Curtain’s method of self hypnosis, knowing that he’s just altering his thoughts and how he feels to keep that distance for his own stability - and trying to remind himself that “Adding his friends - or rather his classmates - to the list of things Ledroptha Curtain didn’t care about was easy.” - the lengths this man will go to in the attempt to remain neutral... he just needs a hug

eheheeeee Milligan still telling Ledroptha he can help him with opening up and everything and Curtain immediately shutting it down with “Trust me, that’s not something you’ll ever need to worry about.” YES - but it’s always like... Milligan just wants to share the joy of his experience with Ledroptha - it’s not from a place of “you need to do this”, but I can also understand Ledroptha’s response.

Love that the S.O.S. met at a bar - knowing that they’ll be able to monitor Garrison the not-so-recovering aloholic’s drinking but also wanting to relax themselves

BAHAHAA - knowing that Curtain stays silent through the most of this conversation because of the conversation with Milligan about what feelings aren’t there - as told by “not wanting to risk appearing too invested in his friend’s actions and interests, he’d been waiting for one of the others to ask about it.” I also love the idea that Garrison has this notebook that she takes everywhere and is writing in all the time - I would like to be like that someday.

OHMYHEAVENS - Pedalian comparing the Brain Sweeper to a medieval torture device is the most accurate representation of that machine’s appearance that I’ve ever come across - but on a more serious note, I can really appreciate seeing the original intentions for the brain sweeper and the whisperer (which we’ll get into soon) but seeing that Garrison really just wanted to help PTSD patients - or childhood trauma patients - by removing specific memories... and then each of the S.O.S. members thinking about what decision they’d make... again, opening my eyes to the deeper facets of these characters

and then the whisperer - helping all sorts of patients with all sorts of mental illnesses (eventually) - and being able to basically reroute their neural pathways - wanting to use it for her addiction - GARRISON JUST NEEDS A HUG TOO - which Milligan kinda gives with his words, telling her “they’re lovely ideas”

okay - getting back into the topic of Curtain letting people in his lil bubble - not only talking about how “spent years perfecting his hostile, perfectionistic, and uncaring exterior to keep his vulnerability at bay.” and “the few unfortunate exceptions being solely comprised of the people seated across from him and their significant others.” , but also acknowledging that his best friend and his best friend’s girlfriend create this sense of transparency that he hates but so desparately craves their acceptance that he doesn’t push them away as much... hurts me. I can recognize that it’s so hard to let people in the personal bubble because

1. it means you have to be more vulnerable with them and open - and that’s just straight up difficult sometimes and

2. means you have people that are watching out for you and care about your well being

it’s such a delicate balance; finding the right people to let into your inner circle, but trying to avoid being hurt as much as possible... it’s a distance thing. The closer people get, the more they expect and the more likely you are to be hurt more deeply as time goes on. But the farther you put yourself from them, the less acceptance and love you get... it just spoke to me

Milligan talking about adequate testing and carefully monitoring the processes for Trentonium-99 - apparently Curtain really wasn’t paying enough attention during this conversation... hehe but GARRISON almost smiling??? my heart

Curtain, seeing his opportunity to help them out, but still living in his illusion of control, knows that this will give him the upper hand because the three of his friends couldn’t come up with the money or the workforce necessary, but he can.

Milligan asking about altering free will made me scream because HE TOTALLY DOES LATER

but that’s followed with the whole narcolepsy discussion. he’s so preoccupied with actively hiding his condition - again, creating this hard exterior to decrease his chances of being rejected - that he doesn’t realize that his friends kinda already know - and that they don’t see it as a sign of weakness or being pathetic. I think there’s so much to be said about this part - Curtain really puts up this exterior and practically lives by his assumptions - his assumptions that really aren’t true most of the time - and I think that’s part of that vulnerability trigger, is first the realizing that people don’t think about him the way he thinks they do - that would shatter a lot of his exterior, I think. But he feels unsafe doing that - so he really can’t see how much other people care because as long as he “doesn’t” care, he’s safe.

okay - and then Ledroptha immediately shutting himself back down when he sees that his friends are thinking... my HEART because then we get Milligan’s reassurance and THIS LINE: “recovering from his brief emotional surge” - it’s all just... connected in a beautiful stained glass window sort of way

First of all - Harbor Island, knowing about the Institute and the underwater hydroelectric turbines and such from season one, I loved being able to connect the two - BUT the fact that Curtain had already bought the freaking island - I about DiEd because OF COURSE HE WOULD - he’s obsessed with this idea of distancing himself from people and putting up that wall - an island is right within his purview and his illusion of “no vulnerability = no risk”

But seeing the initial intentions of the Institute - to give opportunities to orphans or kids living in poverty so they wouldn’t have to go through what they all did... and Pedalian’s praise that Curtain so desparately craves followed with “Curtain smiled, clearly happy with the praise he was receiving.” takes me to the line from Reynie where he tells Curtain “there’s a good person in there, I know it” (not word for word, but you remember) - there really are good intentions in the beginning and I’m just... YES

Garrison being skeptical about Curtain looking for that positive reaction from news programs and the return of “Public perception is one thing of course, but knowing that I’m making a difference, that’s what really matters” Ledroptha, my dear friend, we can understand that you do want to make a difference so nobody has to go through what you did, but you just want to be better than Nicholas too.

Also - Ledroptha pulling out a bank statement to show he has the money (all derived from his business smarts) to be like “yeah, I got it” and THEN offering for them all to live on the island - appealing to their different interests AND the interests of their significant others and offering so many different benefits... because he cares... okay and maybe because he has to continue to maintain that illusion of control. BUT HE CARES

Pedalian definitely immediately jumping on board - but Garrison and Wetherall, being skeptical because they all balance each other out - and then agreeing that decisions have to be approved and made by the four of them, collectively (yet another part that Ledroptha didn’t seem to pay much attention to, bless his soul)

The attention that is drawn to Curtain about “on the offensive and defensive at the same time. Putting up wall after wall around himself while still trying to knock down everyone else around him, always desperate to be the best, be the one in control” - straight up facts followed with talking about how he couldn’t possibly do anything nefarious... BUT HE CAN - but they use his reputation to kind of solidify this thinking of theirs with “if there was one thing Curtain cared about, it was his reputation” which is true, as we specifically see in season two with his blaming the Emergency on Garrison - that was very interesting.

then going into Curtain exerting control - and knowing that the three of them together are the only ones that can keep him at bay - and THEN going into detail about his soft spot for Pedalian and the need for his approval, Garrison’s being smarter than Curtain hehe, and Milligan being that voice of reason and protecting the other two when they were vulnerable.

These next few highlights kind of explain themselves - but I just absolutely love that he really cares about them - in his own lil grumpy way - but he deeply cares about his friends (even though he hates that title) and then the look of hope he had when he had mentioned a treatment for narcolepsy, and Garrison’s joy at the idea of her inventions coming to life - Milligan recognizing that “it could be the key to getting his friends on a proper path to healing.” if only, Milligan - if ONLY

“It really felt like together they could do anything.” and the parallel between that and season two with the kids - AHHHHH - followed by “A chance to overcome their pasts, cure their mental and physical illnesses, and for some of them, maybe even find a way to be happy.” and then the feeling of HOPE - my heartstringsssss

Also - Garrison just having water - so freaking proud of her for not holding the waitress hostage ahaaaaa - I feel like I do that often anyways which is why often, I go last wherever I go

but Curtain actually listening to Pedalian and his bird facts - followed by the several paragraphs about not only Pedalian teaching a bird watching class, Curtain’s hope in the possibility of curing his narcolepsy, his hope in becoming super rich and successful and universally loved and respected - HE CALLS PEDALIAN NICKY - screamed at this part because not only does he call him Nicky, he then opens up about Nicholas?????? GAHHH

Ledroptha literally takes the risk of a narcoleptic seizure and opens up about Nicholas - even after the paragraphs about him not caring about Nicholas - you can literally feel the hurt and the small - the tiny speck of hope that he holds onto that maybe... maybe Nicholas still cares. It’s obviously covered in skepticism and his ten million walls of defense - but it’s there

Pedalian offering sympathy and an apology - to which Curtain responds with his “I don’t miss him. Besides, you’re all better company anyway.” and there goes his vulnerability - Milligan recognizes this as a miracle which I absolutely love because both Garrison and Curtain’s behavior in one night over this conversation really did change the course of the rest of their lives.

Pedalian also definitely being the friend that’s like “let’s take a picture!” and Ledroptha absolutely hating that idea - and noting that he’s not exactly presentable lol - but going along anyways because of his soft spot for Pedalian because he CARES - and the last line about “together they could do anything. Unfortunately, they might have been right.” I could deep dive about this for a while - because as the rest of the chapters go, we see both sides of that idea - being capable of anything together, but as they are separated by different circumstances and feelings, that capability begins to fade and you can see the different characters - Ledroptha specifically - trying to pick up those pieces and make up for the absence of the others.

Well my friends, we have reached the end of the notes that I have for this chapter! In summary, Chapter Two was just absolutely astounding - the rest of the chapters were SO GOOD too and I’m really excited to deep dive with you guys on those as well - this is literally so insightful and I have loved how well the story flows and the different characters and their dynamics with each other - or without each other GAHHHH - but that comes later.

My apologies, again, for making this so long and chaotic (not that the others will be much better ehehe) - but I just love this fic with my whole heart.

#my friends are so talented #like what the heck #seriously brings me so much joy #forgive me for this being such a long post #these are all my thoughts #very excited to hear your thoughts though!#love you all!!#the mysterious benedict society #mbs #sos

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