okay so your trans art binge-reblog spree yesterday kinda synced up with me having Intense Gender Feels so please allow me the liberty of gently knocking at your inbox again bc I feel a mighty need to unleash some trans!Eddie headcanons on you >.>
imagine the sheer emancipation of Eddie growing out his hair again after he had cut it short when first moving in with Wayne but this time long hair feels different and so, so much freeing bc it's no longer a stupid social expectation rooted in sth that isn't even true about him but instead a personal choice, one deeply connected with the music that comforts and inspires him like nothing else
imagine the freedom of him first realizing he's trans and how things — maybe not all things but at least some of them — suddenly fell into place from just knowing who he is, even if back then he had no opportunity and no safe place to as much as think about trying to socially transition. just feeling like his authentic self for once, without the weight of others' preconceptions about all the arbitrary ways he's supposed to be. he might've been unable to tell anyone at that time but simply having that knowledge to himself was liberating from the years of having felt like there's sth wrong with him. liberating bc now he knew for a fact that there wasn't. how can this be wrong if it made him feel like himself for the first time maybe ever?
imagine him hesitantly knocking on his uncle's door in the middle of the night when he had no choice but to run away from home. imagine the surprise on Wayne's face and all the unyielding unquestioning trust and comfort he's got for him, so thorough and genuine that it only takes him a few days to come out despite the fear. and then Wayne's silence breaks into a question of what name his nephew would like to called then. the words startling soon-to-be-Eddie into a impulsive hug, which is returned with utmost care and with quiet thinking-out-loud rambling of whether Wayne's got any clothes that would fit his nephew and that he would feel comfortable in
imagine the joy when Eddie gets a fake ID from Reefer Rick one day
imagine him making friends with the rest of Corroded Coffin guys and, when he gathers the courage and trust to come out, being met with support, ranging from confusion and a promise to eventually get how any of it works and to respect Eddie's pronouns etc, to deep understanding that hardly needs words bc you know you're being seen for who you actually are
imagine Eddie working on his voice and ending up achieving some success partly thanks to singing along to his favorite songs and trying to learn harsh metal vocals and at first scaring everyone around by going over the top with them until he figures out ways to train his voice to be more masculine sounding without resorting to that kind of harshness (and developing multiple fun vocal stims on the way)
imagine Eddie getting together with Steve and as a bonus gaining the perfect person to get advice from when it comes to figuring out a workout routine for his purposes
imagine the relief of knowing there are multiple people who you can be your authentic self with and who love you for this and would never change a single thing about what makes you yourself
oof well, I kinda carried away "a bit" (meanwhile the Feels have only intensified further whoops) and these are in no particular order but I really hope you'll like this humble offering. have a restful fulfilling weekend💜
LIAM!!!! LIAM!!!!! I am always ready for transing the narrative (been in some gender struggles too so let’s be in this together 🤝) I’m going to be running commentary replying so if it’s incoherent or accidentally cover something said later I’m sorry!!
- the hair!! YES!!! I feel like he had long hair before and felt pushed into have short hair in order to be taken seriously in his identity but what he always really wanted to be was ‘just a boy with long hair’ and the more it grows the happier he gets becuase THIS!! THIS!!! Is who he feels like he should have always been!!! This feel RIGHT! When it gets past the length of being ‘acceptable’ for a boy and starts brushing his shoulders he hasn’t never felt more strongly that he is Right. That this is Who He Is, this is Eddie Munson and Eddie Munson is a societal expectation-dodging BOY
- THE ACCEPTANCE AND REALISATION!!! What if he was going around as a child saying kid stuff like ‘when will I grow a beard?’ And being hushed by his elders (before Wayne). Going along with what was given to him, be it toys or clothes because his family didn’t have a lot so he’s not going to ask for more but knowing that they didn’t feel right. That he was performing a character for these people and hoping it would be enough for them, for himself. It’s not, something still feels wrong and he can’t figure out. But then, then he gets the keys to the kingdom, he moves in with Wayne and Wayne gives him some money and sets him loose in the thrift shop. At the start he sifts through the girl’s rails but all of the sizes are wrong for him. So wayne just suggests the boys racks because hey it’s just T-shirts and we need to get you stuff that fits. He guides eddie to the plain T-shirts, not thinking much of it. Not thinking it’ll be a Realisation in the young mind of his nephew. Eddie goes home with 2 boys T-shirts that day and from then on gravitates to exclusively wearing them. Next thrift shop visit eddie makes a beeline to the boys section and doesn’t look back.
- AHHH WAYNE AND COMING OUT I LOVE YOUR VERSION!!! What about Wayne passing a couple of shirts on to Eddie? A hat too? And a belt because god knows Eddie’s buying the jeans that hide his hips and needs something to hold them up. Wayne starts calling eddie ‘son’ and ‘boy’. Every time it’s like Christmas lights have been turned on behind his eyes. He feels dizzy with it, can’t contain himself, has to clench his fists to stop himself from shaking becuase this? This feels right. It fees Correct and knowing Wayne is here with him is the ballast he needs to secure himself on this unpredictable ride.
-CORRODED COFFIN SAYING ITS SO METAL OF HIM. (I personally also hc Gareth as trans so I like to think that Jeff and Freak are always ready to be Boys and show them Boy Stuff. Like alongside band practice they had Boy Practice at the start and now they can burp the alphabet in harmony and can armpit fart guitar solos and play fight and are just GOOFY)
- eddie going to a gig or band practice and then the next morning waking up with a slightly wrecked voice that he /loves/. He surreptitiously tries to maintain it, shouting lyrics in his room and just screaming sometimes but it starts to get painful and he accepts he has to find a different way. He listens to the radio with Wayne, asks to go with him when Wayne’s work friends plan a couple of drinks in one of their yards. Eddie gets to go to a couple, gets to listen to Wayne’s country and rock radio stations. Gets to hear these men talking and tries out phrases he hears when he’s on his own, records them on a tape deck he found in the thrift by luck one day. Records and re-records until he gets it right. Until he can prank call principle Higgins and get shouted at down the phone ‘I’ll find out who your father is boy! He’ll have your hide!’ The peak is when he goes into scoops and gets everything he wanted ‘hey man, how’s it going?’ From the offensively cute sailor with the big hands and strawberry sweet smile
- WORKOUT SUPPORT STEVE. YES. YES ABSOLUTELY!!! Steve showing him that he can’t just hit upper body every day, that he has to get everywhere. That he needs to make his core thicker if he wants that boy look. That working on his quads and calves will help, he promises it won’t leave him a big butt and tiny waist. (Not unless he wants Steve’s routine, that boy is going to work on his ass-ets okay?) eddie doing his first full push up with Proper Form and feeling the muscles in his back move and thinks yes. This is Good. God knows he’s not great at sticking to it but when it serves a purpose and it means he gets to ogle his boyfriend? Kind of a win win
- TBE LAST POINT!!! Yes!!! Eddie living in subconscious fear for so long that he pushes the very notion of being a Boy down. so far Down and Away that he won’t ever let it see the light of day. Or so he thinks. He tells himself that he is fine, that this is fine. But it isn’t and he doesn’t know what feels wrong. Until it slowly starts to change at a glacial speed. He tries different things. Starting only in his room, makes jokes that he thinks he can get away with in front of Wayne. Pushes it further, does more Boy things with corroded coffin. Sees that it’s okay? They are okay with it? With how he is? Sees that Wayne just nods at him and doesn’t make a fuss? That Wayne’s friends don’t bay an eye somehow? (Sure some guys at work do, but Wayne makes sure they know where their opinions aren’t wanted. That Wayne and his group aren’t to be taken lightly on the topic of Wayne’s nephew)
Eddie experiencing so much acceptance and love and there being so venom in it. No ‘waiting’ for it all to pass and Eddie to go back to ‘normal’. Eddies never been normal and that’s a badge he starts to wear with pride. With defiance. Knowing that he has everyone he could ever need how could be not?
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your thoughts on the cut jackienat scene are everything and it's really nice to see someone else get it. the discourse from the scene has been draining enough because people don't think it was cut for being out of character when that seems to be the case
also, happy belated!
i'm glad to hear that you ( and others ) agree! honestly, i was quite nervous to post my thoughts on the matter in the main tag, considering how crazy fandom spaces can get nowadays, but i felt so strongly about this in particular that i couldn't help it. my main issue with the discussion surrounding this deleted scene is the fact that it feels extremely pointed. for the last few months, jackienat as a romantic relationship and as a platonic pairing has been gaining steady traction ; they've become a staple to most fics as an essential dynamic and something that heavily matters to both characters. besides shaunajackie it's easily the second most popular ship for jackie, and in a way i think that's the problem. ever since gaining more popularity, there's been very odd comments thrown it's way? people taking every given opportunity to claim they don't see the 'jackienat romantic vision' on edits, saying it would never be a thing because of jackie's one slut shaming comment about natalie, etc etc. before this deleted scene dropped there clearly were handfuls of people who would do anything to tear this dynamic down and then they finally got the biggest chance to do so ... and they did! i've seen people call jackienat's whole dynamic 'completely fanon', people saying this was a satisfying scene to them because of jackienat shippers disliking shaunajackie, and excuses after excuses as to why this scene is, in fact, canon and why it works. overall it was just saddening to see? just feels like a good majority of yellowjackets fans see jackie as shauna's property rather than a fictional character people can do whatever with, so the idea of her having a relationship with natalie quickly became this threat that they had to belittle and claim as ooc at every given opportunity. which is weird! considering shauna has so many other ships that don't include jackie at all. it's also a little amusing since a good chunk of these people happen to ship shaunanat, most of them quickly rallying behind the 'nat pointing a gun at a pregnant shauna' scene as shipping fodder. don't think i've seen anyone saying 'oh shaunanats lost with this one' despite the heap of comments saying this for jackienat.
point is : i find the intent behind people's talk for this scene to be rather weird more than i find the scene itself to be sad or despairing. simply because it is just not canon. when scenes are cut for time, they've usually been filmed first -- considering that said scenes made it into the final, 100% solid script. this is true for the shauna and adam bdsm scene because we've seen clips of that in the actual show, meaning they filmed it and just cut it for time. same thing with a lot of s2's cut for time scenes! lots of the actresses and actors said these moments had been filmed but just didn't make the final cut. to me this signifies a time issue to some degree, especially given how long some of these scenes would've been! but the jackienat thing would've been a couple seconds tops? it was nothing more than jackie sitting outside and then the two of them passing her all while nat gives her a scathing, hateful look. considering we see shots of jackie sitting by herself with the cabin's front door in view, this would've been fairly easy to accomplish! i don't think people get that, per se. which to me signifies it was cut from the script before they started filming, or that by the time they got to the finale they saw this as ooc. idk. it just doesn't make sense for this to be cut for 'time issues' like the way some people are trying to argue. and even if this was the case, it proves that the writers deemed this moment as something unimportant enough to not include.
also, i don't see why this is the be all end all of jackienat either. is it bad to say this scene would've made me like them more? picturing this scene as canon and then having to watch natalie's anguish in s2 ep3 makes her guilt all the more agonizing to me, honestly. it was already such a hard hitting scene : seeing nat treat jackie's remains with respect, to see her shed her walls and be vulnerable with someone she didn't know well but cared for, and to get a peek into the fact she feels so guilty because, naturally, natalie sees this as her fault. they ate jackie because she couldn't find food fast enough. they killed her because she hadn't been there. these are things nat doesn't need to feel guilt and shame over, because jackie wasn't her responsibility or her friend, but she feels them anyway and she feels them intensely. now imagining this scene in a world where the deleted part was canon? awful! those emotions would've been way more heightened, all those personal blames would've had a fraction of truth to them, and natalie would be forced to acknowledge that when someone needed her help, she had just left them behind in the cold. something which would also intensify the pain of her watching javi drown in freezing water all while crying out to her ... a moment which she'd be wearing jackie's necklace. also, i'd find it kind of interesting that it'd be implied natalie has all these complexities and personal hatred over letting jackie taylor die just like shauna. they'd be the two who take her passing the hardest, the ones who blame themselves more than anyone else. to me that's just gayer than what we got canonically lol. but in turn, i think this could've been another reason why it was cut? this guilt and shame and hate was something reserved for shauna alone, because it's so pivotal to her character and growth, to the point that the writers couldn't let anyone really share that same feeling. it would've taken away from shaunajackie, i think, and what makes them special. if natalie genuinely had walked past jackie out of hate only for her to die the next morning, i believe we would've seen this guilt permanently etched into her character from the beginning. people forget just how quickly nat is to blame herself for things! and be very obvious about that blame! just feels like we would've known if natalie had left jackie out there on purpose, which isn't something we know at all in regards to the actual show.
anyway! i've rambled on quite enough. to me, this scene isn't that bad at all, and i don't think this takes away from the potential of jackienat whatsoever. there's really no evidence that it does! even in the worst case scenario of this scene being canon, it just makes the dynamic much more tragic, which fans eat up on this show. and at the end of the day i wouldn't give the discussions much attention, considering most peoples reasons for wanting this scene to be canon are very petty.
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