#my future therapist is gonna love to hear this

[inkskinned]

before you know about women, you hear that you do not need to love the man, just that you need to love him through his manhood. which is to say you have seen the future painted in lamb's blood over your eyes - how your mother shoots you a look about your father's inability to cook right. how your aunt holds her wineglass and says i'm gonna kill em. men, right! how your best friend bickers with her boyfriend, how she says i can't help it. i come back to him.

you learn: men are gonna cheat. men aren't going to listen when you're talking, because you're nagging. men think emotions are stupid. they think your life is vapid and your hobbies are embarrassing. men will slam things, but that's because men are allowed to be angry. if you get loud, you're hysterical. if a man gets loud - well, men are animals, men are dogs, men can't control their hands or their eyes or their bodies. they're going to make a snide comment about you in the locker room, about your body, about how you're so fucking annoying. you're going to give him kids, and he will give you the money for the kids, and you're going to be running the house 24/7 - but he gets to relax after a long day, because his job is stressful. the man is on stage, and is a comedian, and says "women!"

and you are supposed to love that. you are supposed to love men through how horrible they are to you - because that's what women do. that's what good women do. wife material. your father even told you once - it'll make sense when you're older. it was like staring down a very lonely tunnel.

it feels like something's caught in your throat, but it's all you know, so. it's okay that you see sex as a necessary tool, a sort of okay-enough ritual to keep him happy, even though he doesn't seem to care about happiness as-applied-to you. it is relationship upkeep. it is kissing him and smiling even though he didn't brush his teeth. it is getting on your knees and looking up and holding back a sigh because he barely holds you as you panic through the night. it's not like the sex is bad and you do like feeling wanted. and besides! he's a man! like... they're another species. you'll never be able to actually communicate, right. he isn't listening.

you just don't get it. you don't feel that sense of i'm gonna climb him like a tree. mostly it just feels fucking exhausting. you play the part perfectly. you smile and nod and are "effortlessly" charming. and it's fine! it's alright! you even love him, if you're looking. you could have good life, and a good family, and perfectly happy.

in the late night you google: am i broken. you google i'm not attracted to my husband. you google i get turned on by books but not by him. you google how to get better in bed.

the first time he yells at you, it almost feels like blankness. like - of course this is happening. this is always how it was going to end up. men get angry, and they yell, and you sit there in silence.

you mention it to your friend - just the once - while you're drunk. she shrugs and says it's like that with me too, i just try to forget and move on. men are always gonna hear what they want to. pick your battles and say sorry even though he's in the wrong. you play solitaire online for a month. you go to your therapist appointment and preach about how you're both so in love.

after all, you have a future to want. nobody lied about it - how many instagram posts say marriage is hard. say real love takes work. say we fight like cats and dogs but the best part is that we always make up. how many of your friends say happy anniversary to the best and worst thing to ever happen to me. if you really loved him - loved yourself too - you'd accept that men are just different from you.

the first time she kisses you, it's on a dare at a party. something large and terrifying whips through your body. you wake up sweating from dreams where her mouth is encrusted with pearls and you pick them off one by one with your teeth. fuck. you sit at the computer and your almost-finished game of sim city. you think about your potential perfect life and your potential future family. you google am i gay quiz with your little hands shaking.

you delete each letter slowly. you don't need to love him. you just need to keep going.

#warm up #writeblr #this is also about being ace btw #my identity has slowly shifted over time and maybe if everyone is REAL cool i'll talk bout it #bc it's complicated and nuanced. but this is like #trying to warn u that if you find it “relationship upkeep” to have sex with ur partner #and don't actually enjoy it or seek it for urself. u might just not be attracted to them. #which is fine ! ace ppl can be perfectly happy in any relationship they feel good in! #but also i wasn't as straight as i had expected! #> the first time i saw dick i was like. huh. oh okay that's fine i guess #> the first time i saw pussy i was like. WAIT ACTUALLY HANG ON I GET IT #i just assumed sex wasn't all it was cracked up to be ya know #but also like. btw? this IS NOT saying ''u might be gay not ace'' #bc tbh i'm grey ace/demisexual #it's saying u might not be into ur partner. explore urself & ur feelings. turn inward. #TAKE THIS IN THE MANNER IT WAS MEANT> GENTLE AND KIND #AND NOT IN A WEIRD INTERNET WAY PLEASE #bc the truth is that there ARE ppl who are gay who assume that they just ''don't like'' sex #and ace ppl who might need a different partner w/different needs #and i would have REALLY needed to hear ''check in w/urself about if u actually like sex'' #WAY EARILIER in my life. but nobody said anything bc they assume if ur having sex. u like it. #not just the actual act of sex. not once ur turned on. do you ACTUALLY like it. or is it a burden? #even if ur gay. check w/urself. maybe ur more ace than u realized. in which case. ADDITIONAL FLAG BB #i love collecting my flags. i'm at like 354 at this point #but also btw this is about how toxic relationships are SO normalized that u can be in one #and have everyone around u being like ''THATS JUST MEN LOL''

[foolishjellyfish]

brain been through a lot lately. most recent therapy = difficult truths. important blah blah blah but I’m in that processing state and it’s lots of grumpy grump moments

#diairy #i needed to hear it mary but UGH the truth is not fun!!!! #I'm fine or I'll be fine I just need to complain on the internet for a minute #moved back 2 my family home recently and I'm still not settled in - i was sick before moving and sick after moving #so it feels like the entire 2 months have been almost completely void of social connections #but I am slowly finding friends who live closer to my neighbourhood and creating new connections #maybe the future might be okay #i need to be grumpy for a lil more tho ahahahaha #next therapy session gonna be funnnnnnn #therapist said 'hmm - potentially xyz thing is a form of avoidance?' #and me 'idk what ur talking about mary what do u mean?' #and then 'xyz thing = a way to avoid more painful emotional things' #and #ah #yes #I've been avoiding some heavy emotional stuff and wow okay thanks mary not like i come to therapy to deal with my emotions or anything hEY #no no that's fine ah okay feelings hello yes i love therapy #i mean my therapist is legit the best I'm so glad that I landed there when i did #but UGH THERAPY IS HARD OKAY #cool i'm gonna go eat snack and take my sleep meds and then tomorrow i do errands and meet a new friend yeyeyey! #time to stop repeating the same old patterns huh cynthia

[sixosix]

( a/n ) light angst, hurt/comfort, PROFANITY WARNING, guys im so sorry this is so short but its all im capable of rn

special mention TYSM @earthtooz for proofreading i owe u my soul

he’s always been a little sensitive to people caring for him. he’s used to taking care of others, to have his parents let him get away with everything, and he’s spent his life isolating himself from people who would see him past what he is but for who he is.

reo rolls his shoulder to shove your hand off of him, frowning at the wall. “you know me well enough already, don’t you? you know that i hate it when you get like this.”

“this isn’t good for you, reo. you’re destroying yourself,” you snarl, jabbing at his back. “i’m sick of seeing you like this. i’m not a babysitter, nor your therapist.”

“i’m not asking you to worry about me, am i?” he snaps, finally turning to meet your eyes.

anger boils in your chest, but you let it simmer with a few deep breaths. reo isn’t thinking properly right now, raving on and on about not working hard enough, and how he isn’t catching up. “there isn’t a professional boundary between us, i care for you because i love you. right now, when you say shit like that? i can barely give a fuck about you anymore.”

reo’s sharp scowl falters around the edges, giving way to confusion. “where are you going?” he demands when you make your way to the door.

“away,” you say, slipping your shoes on and refusing to look at him. “you said you need space, right? then i’ll give it to you. we’re over.”

“fine.” his tone is biting, but his voice sounds strange. “fine…”

he’s still lethargic, you tell yourself; he doesn’t know what he’s talking about, and he’ll regret it later. but he doesn’t stop you.

maybe if you were to glance back at him one last time, you’d see the broken expression on his face hitting him right after.

from the start, reo’s always been expecting you would leave him. everyone does that to him, anyway. even nagi, who he still considers his best friend. it was a little too good to be true with you, so he tells himself that this was bound to happen. that doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt when it finally happens.

reo groans, shoving his face into his pillow. his friends snicker at his misery, so reo does what he needs to and flips them off with two hands. but as a groveling man with his face hidden by his sheets, it does not paint the intimidating picture he wanted.

“it hasn’t even been that long,” nagi remarks. he doesn’t spare reo a glance so unfortunately, he doesn’t get see reo flashing him with his middle finger.

“mmrgh,” reo says, still pressed against his bed.

isagi pats him on the shoulder, which doesn’t help anyone, but it’s the thought that counts.

“record him, record him, do it,” bachira says, clapping nagi on the back repeatedly, his strength enough to jostle him back and forth. obediently, nagi follows, pointing his phone camera right at a moping reo.

“day two without y/n,” nagi says to his future audience. “barely holding on.”

“i feel awful,” reo groans. “y/n blocked me.”

“do you regret what you said?” isagi asks.

“‘course i do,” reo hisses, offended that he would even ask that. “i was an asshole. y/n was right—y/n’s always right. i’m stupid.”

bachira snorts, “keep fighting, reo!” and barely manages to dodge the pillow thrown his way.

the camera pans back to reo, who’s looking red in the face, awfully pathetic. “fuck off. don’t post that. y/n’s gonna see it and make fun of me when we’re back again.”

nagi posts it anyway.

chigiri hums thoughtfully, waving a hand in front of your face. “you don’t look like you moved on to me.”

you splutter, shoving his phone back onto him. you feel your heart pound in your ears and with the way chigiri smiles knowingly, you almost wonder if he can hear it, too. “shut up! why did he say that? i hate him.”

“sure you do. say what?”

“‘when we’re back together again’ like he’s so sure about it,” you try to say it like you’re angry, but your expression resembles reo from that video. it doesn’t come out as you want it.

reo looks much better now. nagi says that reo religiously followed your advice right after and has been faring better, which is a real shame since you can’t even see it for yourself. he looks less pale and much brighter, but instead of the anger you last saw him with, he’s just become a carbon copy of a wet blanket.

“aren’t you?” chigiri watches the post again, just to torment you with your sniveling ex. “getting back together again, i mean.”

“i’m leaving.”

“yeah? and go where? reo’s bed?”

“i’ll strangle you!”

#606:BLLK #reo mikage x reader #reo mikage x you #x reader #blue lock x reader #blue lock x y/n #blue lock fanfiction #blue lock x you #bllk x reader #bllk reo x reader #mikage reo x reader #mikage reo imagines #mikage reo fluff #bllk fanfic #blue lock fluff #reo mikage angst #bllk angst #blue lock angst #mikage reo angst

[blueaetherr]

just a thought

pairing: mason mount x fem!reader [she/her]

warning(s): none

summary: the one where the maid and man of honour talk about the future prospects regarding their relationship

author's note: last one for while 'cause of exams (as if i don't already post irregularly :/), but anyways, enjoy!

Managing the wedding of your friends was definitely a task, especially if it's your first time and you are just one or two people. And as the maid and man of honour, Y/N and Mason had to come to learn that over the last few days.

There was more to learn than anticipated by the pair. It wasn't simply just being paired together as a bridesmaid or groomsman or being the right-hand person for the bride and groom; there was so much to those roles. It was providing emotional support the night before, making sure the wedding wouldn't collapse last minute, advising the bridesmaids and the groomsmen to always act accordingly, being the adults amongst the adults and probably much more.

And when you put all of that together, it was, of course, exhausting and challenging for two people, taking more than enough voice and strength and tolerance. Being the voice of reason for those solvable problems, being the spontaneous therapist moments before the wedding ceremony—they weren't for the weak, one needed strength beyond the physical one to manage well.

But it was okay. 'Cause when it was all said and done—the pre-wedding celebrations, the downtime the night before, the mini breakdowns and moments of doubt before the ceremony—there was the wedding ceremony, and it was wonderful. The bride, the husband, the family and friends and the culture embedded into every last detail of the event, from the decorations to the attires worn by everyone. When you get a result like that, there was no reason to allow any negativity to persevere during a happy moment.

As the day passed quickly, so did the wedding celebrations, from the ceremony and the pictures all the way to the reception that continued well into the night; when Mason and Y/N were finally able to find one another again.

Sitting by the private beach, it was a mellow environment they were given—a nice sight to witness, one easy to picture even with your eyes close. Comfortable with their place in the sand, appropriately loud music from the venue further up to the beach, waves kindly sliding over and under one another, the laughter of kids playing close by the shore accompanied by older siblings acting as babysitters and vibrant and solace everywhere you chose to look.

Mason knocked his knee against her own. "How have you been?"

Upon arriving at the wedding destination, the bridesmaids and the groomsmen were immediately split so they hadn't had much time together. Of course, Mason and Y/N had been seeing each other through the days, passing one another during wedding rehearsals or while passing on messages for the newly-wed couple when they weren't allowed to see each other. Other than that, their reasons for seeing one another wasn't actually rooted in seeing one another; either it was out of coincidence or for the purpose of the wedding.

Y/N swayed her head as she sat up, humming. "How was my day?" She had to say the question out loud to think. All of her thoughts were still fixed to be centred around the bride and her needs. She hadn't really had the time to focus on her own self, to process her own state of mind. "It was... it was really good."

"Is that so?" A smirk began to form across Mason's face. "I'm hearing you ladies went crazy with the bachelorette party, and a certain someone went even crazier. I didn't get any names but I'm gonna assume—

Y/N shoved Mason into the sand, causing him to let a laugh. "And that's how it's gonna stay: an assumption."

Mason took in a deep breath as he sat up, still letting out some of his laughter. "You don't have to hide it, love. I know you well," he picked up the bridal bouquet from the sand, the ever one his girlfriend had caught a little under an hour ago. "I mean, c'mon. We all saw. I even recorded it if you don't remember."

"And I had fun with it, Mason."

"And you had fun with it, of course," he kissed her cheek before offering the bridal bouquet, "that's all that matters."

Without hesitation, Y/N took the bouquet in her hands. She attempted to appear nonchalant about it, trying to observe the flowers in an unbothered manner. Though as soon as they were fully in her grasp, she couldn't help but smile shyly as she let her eyes admire the bundle of flowers, twirling them between her hands in delight and excitement.

And that—her happiness—quickly became Mason's happiness. Not only for the flowers' positive impact on Y/N's mood but also it got Mason wondering and thinking about various things surrounding, well, him and Y/N.

"Does it ever get you thinking about certain things..." Mason played with the sand, "being a maid of honour and all?"

"Thinking about what?" Though as soon as she lifted her eyes, she noticed his eyes on the flowers and then it all came to her. That thing we called marriage. "Oh... about that?"

"Yeah, I guess," Mason shrugged. He wished he could've introduced the conversation a little better. 'Cause it was far too awkward and strained for a topic that required mature adults to be handled with fluency.

"I don't know... Like what?" Y/N, like her partner, was lost in the conversation; lost in what she should say, lost in what about the topic would be discussed, lost in where the conversation would be going 'cause really, it could go in almost any direction.

"Anything. I guess just anything about us in the future," Mason rubbed his palms against his shorts as he inhaled a long breath. "I always wonder, like, if we do stay together and persevere, what will things for us be like? Where will we live? How will our relationship change for the better or worse? How many kids will we—"

Y/N quickly raised her hand, placing it on Mason's shoulder. "Woah, woah, woah, relax there," she said with widened eyes. Suddenly, she was more in tune with the conversation than the last few minutes. "Maybe we're thinking a bit too far into the future."

"Yeah, that was a bit sudden." Mason let himself think for a moment, his eyes wondering on the young kids passing by. "Let me ask a better question: what would you like our wedding to be like?"

"Our wedding? I mean I don't know." And yet all the words would eventually come to her so easily, without much thought. "Something small and nice... like enough for family and friends, but not enough that everyone everyone gotta be there. Maybe somewhere close to home, a cosy picturesque location, you know? Just a place where we could also spend our honeymoon in peace, adventure small towns and villages, and maybe some historical places," Y/N leaned back in her place a bit, "But yeah... that's just me."

"That's the whole point, Y/N. It's your wedding," Mason chuckled as he pulled his girlfriend close to him, "You're supposed to do and have whatever you want."

"I know," she exhaled, too joining with the laughter, one they both found restoring and soothing. It wasn't enough to counter all the stress from the past week, but enough to relax into the conversation just a bit more. "I just didn't anticipate this conversation tonight." Y/N really didn't. After managing the wedding of her friends over the last few weeks, she hadn't really had much time to stop and wonder about her relationship's future and outlook. She turned to Mason and wondered, "What about you? It wouldn't just be my wedding."

"I don't really have anything in mind to be honest. Besides, if it ever comes to it, you know, getting married 'n all—which we will—it doesn't matter what we have or where we are. Luxurious wedding, getting eloped—the part where you say I do is more than enough for me."

Surrounded by vibrant colours and a lovely, mellow environment, the couple turned to one another and found themselves smiling galore at each other, exchanging a lack of words as they observed one another, heads tilted in wonder. In those gazes—in their eyes—there was admiration and happiness and affection that were all genuine and bracing to experience together.

In truth, there was this admiration and happiness and affection because there was a lot of conviction in their words towards the other. And considering their minds for the last few days have been racing for their friends' relationship, it was refreshing to talk about their own. On a day when nothing seemed to be about them, it was nice to dedicate a small moment to themselves.

#mason mount #mason mount imagines #mason mount oneshots #mason mount imagine #mason mount fluff #mason mount fanfic #mason mount fanfiction #mason mount x reader #mason mount x black!reader #black!reader #football imagines #football imagine #football fluff #football oneshot #football blurbs #football fanfiction

[chaifootsteps]

Armchair Psychology Anon here. (Not a real pysch, just see patterns)

It's so funny because I keep seeing Viv like tweets where her stans are saying "who tf keeps saying Charlie isn't the main character she had more screentime than the male ones omg get over yourselves 🙄"

That new poster has... 6 male characters. And 3 of them are women. And it's implied Vaggie is going to die and Niffty is a side character.

It's because Charlie is probably a self insert for Viv when it comes down to her father (Lucifer). She clearly loves writing father-daughter relationships and not mother-daughter ones. You could even argue that Charlie singing: "have you ever wanted something that was so clear in your mind that you could taste it?" That gives me 'Viv is literally writing about wanting to be "friends" with big name celebs, Broadway actors, to be more famous, and to get the Broadway show' she's apparently always dreamed about.

I also believe parts of Stolas are Viv's self insert (particularly him being rich and sad, and how she keeps liking tweets defending him. As if Blitz has any actual power in the situation.)

Also side note, I'm glad someone mentioned Moxxie's little speech in CHERUBS about killing a rich authoritarian capitalist. Cuz apparently Viv felt uncomfortable with that and now Fizz and Blitz are clearly defending the highly elite and rich. (Blitz isn't now, but I'm sure he will in the future like Fizz.)

But I also believe Stolas is supposed to be her dad (her admitting her father flirted with women in front of Viv and her sisters/ which by the way is NOT healthy or normal. I'm sorry Viv, but as someone who has a father who would either cry or brag to me about how many women he's fucked (both when I was a minor and an adult), it's a really a fucked up thing of your father to do. And having Stolas flirt with Blitz in front of his underage daughter so explicitly, and reading a book on "Imps in the Sheets" at the dinner table in front of her, is pretty gross too, not gonna lie.)

Moxxie's mom? Dead.

Blitz's mom? Dead.

Octavia's mom? Huge abusive bitch.

Charlie's mom? Implied to be a cold bitch.

Amanda Palmer has a great read on creativity, where when you take personal things of yours and put it in a blender. The more ingredients you use, the harder it is to see what the real stuff is and what's the fictional things.

I'd say Viv is about at a 3-4, where it's very obvious what is real in her writing and what's fake.

Goddamn, what did Viv's mother do to her to make her hate her?

Like, okay I understand that writing is difficult when you feel like you're lying. I find it very difficult to write any healthy parental relationships because both my parents suck and I don't speak to them anymore.

But, you really need to put variety in your writing. Stop making things really obvious to the point where I think you need a therapist. (And she obviously does.)

And if by some chance you are seeing a therapist, Viv, see a different one. One that isn't just going to tell you everything you want to hear.

#Anonymous #vivziepop critical #viv stuff #actual blog post #Armchair Psychology Anon

[novantinuum]

I'd love to hear more about Connie's trauma! The attention you give her character through the parallels between her and Steven always resonated with me.

Ohohoh yasss I really do wanna get back to this one…

This one-shot examines like… the whole thing with Connie being largely absent from Beach City and active Gem nonsense in the beginning of Steven Universe Future, and attempts to give an potential explanation as to why.

Like I guess personally, it just always seemed a bit strange to me that she made such a sharp pivot from actively desiring to be a close participant in Gem matters on Earth, to… seemingly not? She even specifies to Steven in Together Forever that her interest in politics is more for “down to earth” reasons, when he asks if her experiences with intergalactic diplomacy got her on that train. So my brain kinda was just… okay, what changed? And my current thought is that… after the deeply, DEEPLY upsetting experience she went through in White’s head… she realized she needed to take some time to step away for her own wellbeing. And I think it took some time for her to figure out even that much- some time, and some long discussions with her own therapist. Thus, set post movie, I have a scene with her and Pearl cooking away in my brain. It’s only a starting sketch, but it’s eventually gonna tackle like… the residual trauma Connie still has about Pearl restraining her when she was controlled by White.

Snippit:

_

“All right! Wonderful hustle, as always!” Pearl says, her holo-Pearls dissipating into glittering light at her command. “Now—“ she summons a material sword from within her gem-space, posture falling into a ready stance— “your final opponent today will be me. You’ve made great strides with those new defensive maneuvers I’ve taught you, so let’s concentrate on refining our footwork this time, shall we?”

“Yes, Ma’am!” Connie exclaims with a snappy salute, and refocuses her attention on the precise rhythm and form of her steps as— with a mighty shout— she glides across the training grounds towards her teacher, sword in hand. 

Stance wide, she reminds herself. Body lowered. Let your toes point the way.

Ever the in-sync mentor, Pearl follows her lead. She’s clearly not playing it easy this afternoon. To be fair she rarely does, but there’s this extra wild glint of tenacity whirling in her eyes that alerts her to the fact that she’ll have to dig for every last strategical advantage to win this one. When she raises her blade to attempt her first strike, the Gem effortlessly dances around it. She counters with a swift overhead assault, which Connie blocks with the flat of her weapon.

If she were practicing against the holo-Pearls, her teacher would’ve interrupted the moment to shout an eager word of praise, but not this time. Not in their recent one-on-ones. 

Not when some stray Era 3 dissenter could drop right onto their doorstep at any second and destroy all the progress the Crystal Gems have worked so hard to achieve.

It’s unfortunate— ever since the injector incident a few weeks ago, the usually bright and upbeat atmosphere at Steven’s house has grown… uncomfortably tense. Most of the bio-poison’s damage has been mitigated by this point, with Beach City residents aiding in physical clean-up and Steven using his powers to heal the ecological impacts, but there’s been a clear shift in the tides for her friends. She can feel it radiating in her very bones. Before Spinel, the Crystal Gems seemed content to hang up their weapons and enjoy the peaceful bounty and simple joys this new era promised. Though she still trained with Pearl during that period, those spars resembled more of a casual workout than any real battle simulation.

But now… even though they try not to show it… Connie can tell her friends have been re-traumatized. Recent events have simply sucked them right back into the barbed thickets of the war they never truly escaped. It’s not a physical battlefield this time, thank goodness… more a battlefield of the mind… but in her opinion its impacts are one and the same, even for Gems.

All the endless perils that shaped the trajectory of their pasts… they’ll always in some small part be there to haunt them.

Connie, of course, is no exception to this rule.

#jen rambles #still doing these! Feel free to scroll back on my blog to the list of wips to ask about one #wips

[kipxer]

Fear a Raised Voice

Obey Me! Mammon/Reader - Platonic - No MC pronouns

Warnings: Angst, being yelled at, mentions of breaking things, lots of crying, mean thoughts, learning how to accept comfort. It's an angsty one you've been warned.

Summary: MC gets yelled at by Lucifer after trying to go to the attic again. Gets triggered by childhood past experiences. Mammon is there to help.

Word Count: 2k

Note: You could probably psychoanalysis me from this. Should show this to my future therapist. Also I don't like this title, if you can come up with something better let me know lmaoo

Masterlist

You walk out of Lucifer's office. A blank far off expression on your face, with a few tears starting to grow in your eyes.

You hate having people see you cry. It feels so humiliating. You tried your absolute best to hold it in while Lucifer was berating you for attempting to go to the attic again. You tried your best to stand your ground silently, just saying whatever he wanted to hear until he was appeased and let you go.

And as if the universe had any pity on you, here comes Mammon, strolling by, looking down at his phone. You quickly turn away and start to walk to your room hoping to escape before he notices you.

"Oi human!" He runs over to you before putting an arm around your shoulder. Goddammit.

"Was just lookin' for ya, I have a great idea you're gonna love it!!" You turn your face away acting as if something caught your attention, just to keep his eyes from seeing his face.

You suck in a breath. "Maybe next time Mammon."

"C'mon ya gotta trust me! I promise it's good and most definitely not a scam this time." He says with a devilish grin.

Your tone turns a bit harsher and slower "Maybe next time Mammon." Maybe if he could just take a hint that you were annoyed and give you some space, you could run to your room to let out all your angst quicker.

But unlucky for you, there are two facts about Mammon that you overlooked. 1) He isn't afraid of being annoying and 2) he really likes to talk.

"What's up with ya today?? Are my brothers rubbin' off on ya or something?"

You take in another sharp breath "Look, I'm just not in the mood today, I'm sorry." Your voice falters among your sharp words.

"MC are you ok? For real?"

"I'm fine I just need to be alone. It's fine."

You reeeally didn't wanna burden anyone else with your problems right now, especially Mammon. By this point you were the one keeping most of the peace in this house, you couldn't just break down in front of them and disrupt that. Besides, what if he just brushes it off or mocks you for it like he does with most of your feelings.

Mammon's grip tightened around your shoulders. "Follow me."

"Mammon I already said I'm not in the mood."

"Just-" He nudges you along "Put up with me for a sec and c'mon."

Deciding that he really isn't gonna let up anytime soon, you take another deep breath and tilt your head back. Might as well just suck it up and get this over with, then maybe you can get to your room faster.

"Fine." You say in an annoyed manner.

You find yourself being dragged to the doorway of his room where he finally lets you go to fumble with the lock.

Walking in and plopping down on his couch you say flatly, "Now what." Watching him as moves to sit next to you.

He leans back and turns towards to look at you, causing you to shift your gaze to your now very interesting shoeslaces.

"What's wrong."

"Nothing."

He gives you a look.

"Stubborn human... If somethin' is making ya so bothered then it's my job as your guardian to fix it. Just spill it."

You take another deep breath trying to calm yourself but also just getting tired of fighting him. "If I do," You chew on your cheek thinking over your next words, "then I'll start crying."

With that, his face twists with confusion and worry. "Just an even better reason to tell me I guess."

You take a final shaky breath. "Lucifer yelled at me." deciding to just keep it brief.

He looks at you confused "That's it??"

"For the most part yeah."

"Oh come on, I've seen him threaten ya and even lunge at ya, how is yellin' the worst of it?"

"Um." You grow small in your seat as memories start to flood back. Tears begin to prick the corners of your eyes that you try to blink away.

"Well. I used to get yelled at a lot as a kid by my parents."

Mammon's silence urges you on.

"a-and. I uh, it just reminded me of that. That feeling of being just so small and weak." You sniffed putting on an anxious smile. "They would scream shitty things at me, calling me stuff like ungrateful and lazy. They would break stuff and throw away my favorite toys. The lectures would last for what felt like hours before they would lock me in my room for the rest of the day." You let out a weak laugh "All because I didn't clean my room usually."

You waved your hand in the air dismissively. "I know it's not that bad, especially compared to what you go through all the time. It just. It kinda messed me up a little bit." You struggled to fight back the tears threatening to fall. God, you really didn't want to talk about this.

The air grows thick as you both remain silent, Mammon sitting there stunned.

"Not that bad? If I saw a kid bein' treated like that I'd be fucking pissed!" His whole body tenses in disgust and anger.

"You get strung up by Lucifer and fucking whipped like every other week! How is this anything compared to that?" You cross your arms.

"You were a kid!!"

"So!?"

"Lucifer does that cause he knows I can handle it. I'm a full grown goddamned demon, I can fight back."

"What? That still doesn't make it ok. And why don't you fight back if you're so strong huh??"

"Cause I know it makes him feel better to take it out on me." His voice drops to a mumble. "Plus, it keeps him from doin' the same to my younger brothers."

Now you're the one who's stunned to silence, hearing nothing but Mammon's aggravated breath and your anxious heartbeat.

As you fidget with you hands, you feel a few tears make their way down your face, both from your own confession and now his. Seems like quite the touchy subject for the both of you. Finally, you look up at Mammon, who's leaning in your direction, shoulders tense, eyebrows furrowed, and to your surprise, a pair of blinking watery eyes.

Oh shit. You really just made him cry. Well, almost cry. You've never seen him like this. Oh holy shit. It's your fault. What kind of shitty fucking friend are you. Why did you even ask that question in the first place you dumb fuck. You have to apologize. Now.

"I'm sorry." You say ever so quietly, as if it wasn't more than a whisper.

"What?" You grow even smaller under his intense gaze.

"I'm sorry for making you all worked up. I should've just left when I had the chance." You bite on your tongue.

Mammon huffs, "Oh what. And just lock yourself in your room for the rest of the day?"

You stare up at him as you feel your heart jump and your breath becoming shaky.

All the pent up panic and tears you've been trying to hold off suddenly flood your system. Oh god, why did he have to say that.

Choking on air, you start hiccuping and fighting for breath as you wipe at the wetness on your face.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry," you plead. You go back to trying to hide your face, breaking into a full on ugly cry. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry..."

You hate this, so so much. Why did you let him talk you into this. Stupid annoying demons. This is so embarrassing your face is all gross now. You should just leave, just leave, leave. JUST GET UP AND LEAVE. WHY CAN'T YOU LEAVE.

Slowly, you feel two soft but awkward arms wrap around you, as a hand is placed on the back of your head, nudging it closer.

Goddammit. Pushing your forehead into his chest, you heave.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry" You can't stop apologizing as if it's a mantra, slowly turning into a jumble of choked whispers.

Gently, he rubs your shaking back, holding you close.

"You're ok. It's ok. You don't need to be sorry."

No it's not ok, it's not ok, it's not ok. You have everything to be sorry for.

You take a strangled gasp for air, as if that would let up the tightness in your throat.

You grip onto his shirt tightly as you hide your face in his chest. God this is so embarrassing. You must look so stupid and pathetic right now.

"Hey, take a deep breath for me ok?" He interrupts your thoughts.

Starting you off, he takes a long deep inhale himself. Shakily, the mess of yourself tries follow along.

In...

And out...

"Another one."

In...

And out...

With each breath, your sobbing grows quieter and your apologies die down.

"You're ok." He strokes your back some more, as your grip relaxes. You take another deep breath on your own, the air feeling just a bit lighter now.

Realizing the position your in, you let out a weak laugh as you hold onto him. "I told you I would cry."

He chuckles, the sound reverberating from his chest "Well hey, at least ya warned me."

A beat of silence passes as he soothes your back, giving you a moment to catch your breath.

Why was he being so nice. He always rambled about how annoying it was to take care of you, so why go through all the effort to comfort you like this.

Still. With all his self sacrifice for his brothers and now with the way he's treating you, you can't help but have just the slightest tiniest thought that maybe, just maybe, he cared about his family and you much more than he led on.

"Thank you."

He gently squeezes you in his embrace.

"Anytime."

He gives some more time for you both to relax. Just gentle touches and soft slow breaths. His warm palm traveling up and down your back in slow fluid motions, the hand in your hair holding you securely. You press your face further into his chest, soft fabric against your cheek, smelling strongly of his cologne.

"Ya don't gotta run off if ya need to cry. I'm here to talk about it- I mean it is my job after all."

You let out a chuckle at his sudden change in demeanor.

"I don't know, it's kinda really hard for me to just cry in front of people. Or ask for help. Or anything like that." You trail off.

He hums in thought. "Well, how about this. If I catch ya havin' a hard time, you're not allowed to run away." He smiles softly burying his face in your hair.

You huff out a laugh "Hard to say I won't just start avoiding you."

"Then I'll just have to stick by your side and annoy ya even more then, huh." He squeezes you real tight proving his point, both of your smiles growing as laughter begins to bubble up from your chest.

"Ah like you don't already do that enough."

He chuckles at your sarcastic tone before relaxing again.

And after a moment, you finally pull back to look up at his face. Feeling relaxed, grounded, and safe, having gotten to this point so much quicker than any solo sob fest you've given yourself.

And you ask,

"So what was that idea you had?"

His grin widens.

#mammon/reader #mammon x reader #obey me! #mammon #obey me! swd #mammon/mc #fluff #mammon x mc #scenario #angst #fanfic #fanfiction #hurt/comfort #tw: yelling #tw: crying #obey me #om!mammon #platonic #comfort #hurt

[angkis]

Maybe you can make some side blogs?

If you're going to be posting content that is not Sterek or Stiles and Derek with other people (like Chris or Peter). So that way Sterek shippers can see Sterek content on a side blog or main blog, and not see the other characters or ships on the blog they don't want to be exposed to. That way everyone is happy and the blogs are a *safe space for everyone*. Since some people are highly triggered by certain characters due to their own traumas.

So content-specific blogs or side blogs work well for that. Sterek-only content blog/side-blog and/or side ships or rare ships you're starting to draw for TW.

Food for thought.

Please don't be offended, but my short answer is, respectfully, 'no'.

The long answer, if you're interested in my thoughts: My blog has always been a multifandom AND multishipper blog, I just happen to be obsessed with sterek/teen wolf currently! This blog was a 'star trek' blog just a couple of months ago for example. I use tags for my fanarts, so you can definitely block the ones you're not comfortable seeing, but that's all I can do for you, I'm sorry! 🙏 Stranger to stranger 🤝

I love love love sterek and I have a hell lot of ideas left in me, so you can definitely expect plenty of fanarts about them in the near future, BUT I also enjoy a lot of things other than sterek. I'm a busy little guy, sharing art I do for fun in my *sadly* limited free time. You're asking a lil too much here :c

Now, I will very carefully react to that trauma part, because I truly don't want to offend you.

Please don't make it seem like my blog is unsafe. I'm not perfect, I'm human like you, but I'm definitely a considerate, safe person who is managing a pretty safe blog. We just don't enjoy allll the same things. I wouldn't call your blog unsafe for posting something that triggers me, or has something to do with my own past you will never hear about. You're gonna get hurt so much if you take everything so personally on the Internet. I know it's hard, I can't possibly know what you went through and I'm sorry it happened to you, and I say this genuinely: You might need a therapist for these things, you have to work on them For your own well-being if a character affects you that deeply, I can't imagine. I'm not a psychologist, I'm just an artist.

[fandomgamersimp]

I felt like doing a little shoutout to a fanmade Friday the 13th film (dir. Jason West, 2021) Also warning, there are going to be spoilers below!

The movie is available on YT for free by the way, always give some love to indie artists!

Now, I'm gonna get it out of the gate, I don't personally find it the best among all the fanmade FT13 stuff; most of my complaints are about general, technical stuff though.

But damn, they did what most movies don't want to explore (or they don't feel like exploring), and that's Jason's mental state/ mind. I feel like there's some great potential in showing what may possibly be going on with someone who's silent at all times- something that I don't recollect many FT13 media doing (unless you count fans' interpretations, theories and headcannons based on how Jason behaves, along with the Jason vs Leatherface comic that dug into him as a person more), but what would add to him as a villain and a character overall.

In the movie, Jason was struggling with auditory hallucinations (or you can interpret that as his mom actually talking to him from the grave, though I'm personally not all for supernatural stuff) of Pamela's voice screaming at him to kill people. "Punish them for what they did to me, to us" she said multiple times. And damn, did that make my heart ache.

He genuinely struggled with hearing that, seemingly writhing in pain and hitting himself while distressed, shaking his head.

Also, in the scene below, him looking at the picture of his mom was, in my opinion, like trying to remind himself that there's no chance it could actually be her; or maybe wondering if a person who was so sweet and loving to him, who holds her child dearly in the photograph, could really be saying all those viscious things.

I watched all those scenes and I wondered "does this portrayal of Jason actually wants to do all those horrible things?" Sure, in other movies, he is not - to me- a viscious serial killer either. He doesn't go to other towns to kill, pretty much all of his kills are quick, unless the victims struggle. There's no sick enjoyment there to me with killing itself, compared to some other villains. But this one?

He tries to make those voices stop. He can't, obviously he can't- there are no psychiatrists and therapists, there is no one to help him deal with all of this. No one will, considering he already has killed a bunch of people.

Maybe he's aware of it too- he knows his future doesn't exists, because there was just a victim after victim, but he couldn't stop, so he is metaphorically tied to that old camphouse he lives in, since he knows he's not wanted anywhere else- that was what he was taught his entire life.

He can't just stop listening to what the voice of Pamela tells him to do- there is an altar for her in the movie as well, many objects he managed to collect, pictures and newspaper cutouts, portraying the only person who loved him unconditionally- he can't stop listening to someone like that.

And he wants them to stop telling him all those atrocities, because maybe despite his mom screaming "they deserve it" inside his head, they actually didn't- but also, it's the voice of the only person who cared. If the voice stops, it may hit him a little too hard that she really is dead, and she's never coming back.

So he listens.

#His Name Was Jason #friday the 13th jason #friday the 13th #friday the 13th fanmade film #friday the thirteenth #friday the 13th part 2 #coz it is kind of a remake of that #jason voorhees #slasher jason #slasher #slashers #horror #horror movie #movie rant #friday the 13th movie #friday the 13th brainrot #slasher movie #potato sack Jason will always have my heart #so they get a point for that one #gonna say this design is one of my favs #saying “here comes the BOY” to myself every time I see him at this point #special interest #many writers love to forget about his mommy issues #and that there's more to him that just “slashing n' hacking people up” #this may be a messy post #but I had to get it out of my system lol

[shamelessboiledwater]

Mute Mario where he is mute most of his life but everyone is supportive of him and one big day Dk and Peach (he's dating both of them sue me) are being announced King and Queen of their kingdoms, but a few months back Mario starts learning how to speak because of sessions with a person (I'm gonna go with a therapist because I don't know what they're called when they help a mute person actually speak), but anyways on the big day said therapist makes an announcement about a certain someone. (Mario) wanting to say a speech to the new King and Queen (being Peach and Dk) so after everyone calms down for Mario to walk on stage everyone is confused at first, especially Peach and Dk, Mario then looks at everyone taking a deep breath and says this.

"First I would like to say I don't want to take this special day from the love's of my life, (everyone gasps at him speaking) and secondly I want to say from the bottom of my heart as long as I wanted to say this I'm very proud of both of you for the path you took and on how far you've come, and now I can finally say without my hands or some silly cards that I love both of you and again I am so proud of you guys and I hope for a greater future!"

Everyone is this silent from hearing Mario speak but Peach and Dk are the first ones to break the silence by running over to Mario and giving him hugs and kisses filled with joy to hear a voice come from their short lover

#mario #donkey kong #princess peach #mareach #mario x donkey kong #deaf au

[gently-decaying-flowers]

out of curiosity and love? may I hear about your ocs?

ASGRHEGEGSGRHRGGRRT YAYAYAYAYAYAYY

okay okay okay okay THANK YOU HEHE

so i’ve made multiple posts on these goobers before and some of the info might be missing or added and stuff but who cares they’re my boys!!!!

starting with blake ohhh my god i love him! he started off as a bonnie inspired fnaf oc and he is…. no longer that. now he’s a college boy who has a semi clear future, loves his family and loves his boyfriend. blake has been through a lot of his own issues, he struggled really bad with depression and ocd and dissociation before. he got therapy when he was in high school and it literally saved his life. after that experience he decided to study psychology and become a therapist (i still want to draw Older Professional Blake but that’s for later lmfao)

now mateo!!!!! mateo is blake’s boyfriend, and he’s a guy for sure. he had the shittiest childhood, and he has extreme depression, anxiety and ptsd. blake has had to help him a lot, which is hard because he doesn’t talk about his feelings. he does care deeply for both blake and (their complicated little brother) danny. mateo also doesn’t go to college! he works in an auto shop (he is big buff boy and i love him)

if you want more info (and some actual writing) about these two search my tags and go to #blake and mateo <3 !!!

now i’m gonna ramble about one more

a new one, one who hasn’t made much appearance on my blog yet

✨tobias✨

tobias (toby) is a 17 year old high school student. he looks like those “troubled” drug dealers and most people avoid him. he writes poetry, songs and plays acoustic guitar in his free time. he’s an aspiring musician and writer. he’s an only child, with a very complicated relationship to his parents. he works in a coffee shop over the summer with his best friend Lucy (those two have the classic Gay Boy and Lesbian Girl friendship) his life changes when a boy who carries the sunshine with him walks into the shop and takes his heart. that’s corny as fuck but also very true

i draw toby a lot, he’s the doodles on my math homework most days hehe and the story in writing for him (atm) is actually written WITH @marsisrealscared who’s character is the sunshine boy!! (aka lucas)

toby will probably get a his own story later on, probably with lucas but not from lucas’ pov like this one is! maybe i’ll make a tag for him hehe

(also i have another oc who i…. dont have the energy to think about rn but go look at #[unknown] for him!)

TYSM AGAIN!!!!! i loved this ehehehe

#asks #answered #char’s art #blake and mateo <3 #[unknown]

[bwobgames]

Previous First

Ángel stabs him, he takes out the knife to let it bleed out

"We need to take him out of the house"

"Ángel! Over here!"

Nadia opens the door to one of the rooms

It's the same room where they were last loop

"What...?"

Nadia enters and opens... the window?

They take him, he's struggling

They are going inside the room

Are they putting him into bed?

"Oh"

"They are going to drop him"

They are in the window frame, Eugene is struggling against them.

He could fall at any moment

"They... They are going to kill him. Forever, no looping

That's...

I don't want Ángel to be a murderer. He's already gone through so much.

And Nadia! She's too young to have this in her conscience, her own dad..."

"This is not fair to them"

Oliver Beebo is a man who cares about what's fair, even if it disagrees with the law

Nothing about their situation has been fair, so he does what he thinks it's best.

He runs to the window

And pushes the man himself

"Ángel and Nadia don't deserve something like this in their souls

I can take it.

It comes with the job"

They hear him hit the ground

They look down

He's not moving

"Even if he survives the fall, the blood loss and the cold temperatures should be enough to kill him.

He's... he's pretty much dead

Forever"

Beebo takes his phone

"He's... He's to the side of the house. I'm going to hang now. We'll be out in a little bit"

He has... conflicting feelings about this situation

Is this fair? To be killed forever against multiple killings that technically never happened?

Ah, his therapist is gonna have a field day with this

"So... he tripped and fell, right?"

"Wha- Ángel!"

"Yeah Ángel, how did he get stabbed if he just tripped? We need to add something about self defense"

"I mean, he did try to kill us. We have enough proof all over our faces"

"And the bombs, don't forget the bombs"

"Alright, listen! When we get out and reunite with everyone, we'll agree with a story"

"Because it's very unlikely they'll believe there's a time loop"

"I say we tell everyone it was something really stupid, like he thought this was the first floor or something"

"I don't think that's plausible"

"No, no, it has merits"

"... Maybe having you two get along was a bad idea"

"Wha- Im not getting along with him!"

"My love, you offend me. How could you- YOUR FACE"

Ángel looks at Beebo's bloddied face

"Are you okay?! Did he get your eye?! Can you see?!"

"It's okay, it was just my eyebrow"

Ángel takes the end of his scarf and brings it to Oliver's face

"Is it healing?! Did he hit any arteries?! Quick, do you feel nauseous? Light-headed? What's your blood type?!"

"Ángel, I'm fine. It's already healing"

"Put pressure on it, you don't have any coagulation problems, do you?"

"I don't, do you?"

"Huh?"

Oliver takes the scarf

"Look, you are bleeding too"

"Oh. Oh yeah, that explains some things"

"Here, I'll try my best. Tell me if it hurts, okay?"

He cleans the blood off Ángel's face

"I'm sorry about your scarf, and your jacket, and the future scar this will leave."

"It's okay, It looks good on me, and we'll match!"

"And I can just take a few millions from Coli's company for my clothes"

"Hey!"

"What? Is compensation for the damage"

"What will you do after that?"

"I don't know, maybe a stay at home husband for one lucky man"

"A very lucky man"

"You two do realize the first floor is on fire, right?"

"Oh. Oh yeah"

"Oh fuck, the fire, yes"

"Nadia, make a rope with the bedsheets from here to the patio and get out as soon as possible. Call everyone to get there"

"Got it"

"Wait, kid"

Ángel takes out the photobook of his pocket, it's a little battered

He gently bops the book against the top of her head

"Ta-da, the gift of knowledge"

"... I am very glad he died now"

"Hah, we are not so different, then"

"Die"

"Of course of course"

She goes to the bedroom

"Okay, now we just need to find a nice sturdy object. Like a femur"

"Like a what"

Beebo goes through the rooms, he finds a piece of wood

Probably for future renovations

"Not as great as my good friend femur, but I shall love it all the same

Oh wood, thank you for allowing the deed we are doing today. Your companionship is-"

Ángel takes it away from him

"Huh?"

"Ángel? What's wrong?"

"Aside from everything that has happened tonight"

"Do we really have to destroy it?"

#somehing about cleaning the wounds of your beloved etc etc #save Nadia she didnt ask for this #detective beebo

[rollinouttahere-writes]

I’m back!!! And I have so much to say !!

Strawhats vs Whitebeard crew made me cry !! Like how dare you Rollin 😭 My therapist will hear about this !! (Ok but girl your writing is 😚👌 love every second reading it )

first of all that Shanks fic Better left unsaid was ahhh!! So good!!! And the ending made me scream !( I’m gonna pull a Elizabeth and get rid of his booze when he’s not looking 👀)

And the Was it worth it fic !! OMG I DIDN'T KNOW I NEEDED A CROCDAD FIC TILL NOW !! Also love that you added Robin (wine aunt for the win 💅)

Part 2 of Joyride fic , was so good Rollin , here have a cookie 🍪 and take back your crown 👑 you keep dropping it queen !! ( seriously it’s been on my mind ever since I read it and now I gotta know what if the marines did found that reader knows the future , is it gonna be like the marineford arc OR! What if Blackbeard finds out 👀👀👀👀) seriously I’m printing this off and eating it cause it was that good !

Not what it looks like fic , was so cute and I love how you wrote the characters and Smoker ! Aww I love his interaction with lucky pfft love how you wrote masterson 🤣👌)

SHANKS REALLY TRIED TO PULL A MR STEAL YOUR GIRL ON BUGGY!?!? 🤣🤣 And on his wedding knight no less , shame on you my good sir XD

Harmless Luffy fic was so good ! Cousin please be careful getting the meat 👀 (I love your blog and I love how you wrote Luffy in this 🥰)

Pfft the memes !! Their amazing!! 🤣🤣🤣🤣

Oh my god hi!!! I missed you!!!

Originally the Whitebeard vs Straw Hats one was just going to be something cute and fun but then I made it plot heavy oops lmao

Doll definitely went on on to do all kinds of passive aggressive stuff after that went down. Booze? Gone. Treasure? Thrown into the ocean.

The funny thing about the crocodad fic was that I was struggling to figure out what to do with it for a long time, but then the plot came to me in a vision and I wrote the whole thing in one day like a maniac.

Thank you! I've been outlining the rest of the Joyride series, and it is shaping up to be around 15 or so chapters in total. I'm still ironing out the details, so the number could change. It's funny that you mentioned Blackbeard, he may or may not be making an appearance ;)

Smoker is a lot of fun to write for, especially in the Little Lucky AU ~

LMAO yeah, Shanks pulls shit like that and then wonders why him and Buggy don't get along

The reader's cousin should be okay so long as he minds his business, Luffy is too preoccupied with getting reader's place on the ship set up to go bother him

#ladydoe8

[fitrahgolden]

Lilies and Soap: Chapter 5 - A Good Hurt

[NOTE: I was going to write a few lyrics for “A Good Hurt,” Anthony’s song for Violet, but it’s literally just “Upward Over the Mountain” by Iron & Wine. Ya’ll, it’s the perfect song for them. Also, it’s one of my favourite songs of all time. The lyrics will be at the end.

An additional note: This is the last of the “once a day” updates. I immediately fell in love with this story and have been compulsively writing it all week. But, unfortunately (for me, anyway), the updates are gonna slow way down, more to a “once a week” type frequency.]

“Mum?”

Anthony was happy to find his mother alone in the drawing room of her house. He didn't want an audience for this.

“Anthony, Dear. I didn’t know you were coming by.”

“Yeah, just for a bit. I can’t stay for dinner, but I need to talk to you.”

Concern coloured Violet’s face. “Of course. Is everything alright?”

“Oh, yes. Sorry, yeah. Everything’s fine. Actually, I wanted to play you something.”

He moved to sit at the grand piano situated by one of the room’s large windows and scooted to one side.

“Do you mind sitting with me?”

Violet smiled curiously as she sat next to her eldest son. “Oh, am I getting a preview of the next album?”

Anthony laughed gently. “No. It’s not going to be on the next album, but I would like your permission to consider it for the one after that.”

“Permission?” She raised her eyebrows.

“Yes. I wrote a song about you. Well, about us, for you. And I didn’t want to spring on you. It means a lot to me that you be the first one to hear it in private, and that I have your blessing to share it.”

Anthony wasn’t surprised when tears already started to form in his mother’s eyes.

“Go on, then,” she whispered. “Let’s hear it.”

Anthony began to play the opening notes of a song he’d titled “A Good Hurt.”

After his father died when he was eighteen, Anthony’s relationship with his mother became rather volatile. For the first year, Violet was all but completely absent from the family, including Hyacinth, who was born shortly after Edmund Bridgerton’s death. Anthony became a caretaker to his mother and a surrogate father to his seven siblings overnight. Once Violet recovered, she and Anthony never quite found their footing when it came to each other and their roles as heads of their family.

A couple of years ago, things came to a head, and Violet and Anthony decided that it would be in their best interest, and the best interest of the whole family, if the two of them went to therapy, separately as well as together. As part of his healing journey, Anthony’s therapist encouraged him to lean into his music, to use the tools he already had at his disposal to process the things they were working on in therapy. “A Good Hurt” was one of the results of that labour. Anthony was proud of it, of what it did for him, and hoped it would communicate to his mum everything he’d felt in the past, what he felt now, and what he hoped for their future. 

Violet was silent for a few minutes after the final notes resounded in the air before dissipating.. He wasn’t sure what to expect, so he just sat silently with her.

“Anthony,” she finally said, “I… hardly even know what to say.” She put a hand on one of his and squeezed. “Thank you. It's beautiful. Thank you… so much.”

Anthony had some tears of his own in his eyes as he squeezed Violet’s hand in return. “You’re welcome, Mum. And thank you.” He handed her a folded piece of paper, filled with his handwriting. “It’s the lyrics. I want you to have them. And there’s no pressure to let me record it. I understand if you want to keep it private.”

Violet nodded and pressed the paper against her chest. “May I think about it?”

“Of course, Mum. Take all the time you need.”

The two sat at the piano together for a while, talking and playing a few songs together. Eventually, Anthony stood.

“I’m sorry I can’t stay and eat with you guys. I have plans tonight.”

Violet stood as well and patted his cheek. “Oh, that’s fine, Dear. Anything fun? Are you seeing Kate?”

Anthony furrowed his brows a bit at the assumption. Not because it was unreasonable. It wasn’t. He often spent his evenings with Kate. He simply felt an unfamiliar feeling in his chest. It was as if he felt sorry that the answer to his mum’s question was no, he wasn’t seeing Kate tonight. He shook the thought out of his head and smiled. “No, not tonight. I have a date, is all.”

Violet gave a half smile and nodded. “Right. Well, have a good time.”

Anthony nodded curtly and turned to leave when Violet stopped him.

“And, um, thank you, again. I’m so proud of you. you know that, right? Of what you’re making of your life, sharing your talents with the world. Your father would be, too.”

—

Anthony met Siena outside of the restaurant she’d picked out. She greeted him with a kiss on the cheek before they headed inside. They were each recognised exactly once before they were seated and laughed about it while they looked at their menus.

The food was delicious and the conversation was easy. It was mostly more of the same as their lunch meeting, talking about their time at the Royal College of Music and the careers that followed.

"Oh, I had a question," Siena said after taking a sip of her wine.

“Alright, here we go. Should I be scared?” Anthony joked.

“No. Believe me, Bridgerton, you’ll know when I start grilling you. It’s just that I noticed at our meeting the other day that you still call Kate Lamb. After all these years. It always got my attention when I would hang out with you guys. How did that come about?"

Anthony sat back and smiled softly at the memory. A few seconds passed. He saw Siena looking at him expectantly and realised he hadn’t actually started responding to her yet. "Oh. Well, we were in one of the practice halls. It was the first time we collaborated. The first thing she did at the piano was play  'Mary Had a Little Lamb.' Completely serious, totally committed to singing and playing each note. And I just…burst out laughing. After she threw a pencil at me, she explained it was a part of her vocal warm up when she first started music lessons when she was six. She liked that it was her stepmum's name, so she stuck with it from that point on. I had to respect that. She's been my la–  She's been 'Lamb' to me ever since."

Siena nodded, her expression hard to read, and quietly said, “Ah.” She quickly moved on to other topics, and the rest of the meal was perfectly… nice.

After dinner, the pair decided it was too pleasant of a night to not take a walk in the nearby park. Siena looped an arm around Anthony’s and they strolled along the paved trail, avoiding the evening runners. During a lull in the conversation, Anthony slowed to a stop and turned Siena towards him. Her hand slid down his arm to take his hand.

“I’m having a really nice time, Siena.”

“Me, too.” She smiled up at him dreamily.

“Are we… Um, do you want to call it a night, or…”

Siena raised an eyebrow as she got on her tiptoes to kiss him. As soon as Anthony closed his eyes, he saw Kate. The same Kate he’d imagined while watching her record “Perpetual Commotion.” The Kate that was brand new to him, while somehow at the same time also feeling intimately familiar. The sudden vision made him falter, and when he and Siena pulled apart, he opened his eyes to find her frowning at him in a sad, oddly understanding way. She shook her head slowly as she looked down for a moment. Then she kissed his cheek and finally answered.

“Yeah, Anthony. I think we should call it a night.”

They hugged and parted on a friendly note, speaking genuinely about how much they were looking forward to working with each other on Siena’s album and exchanging "see you soon"s. Once she left in the taxi that Anthony had flagged down for her, he walked around the park for another hour on his own. His mind was whirring, and he’d hoped the walk would help slow everything down. No such luck. So, he went home and did what he always did when he needed to sort out his thoughts.

He started writing.

—

The words were pouring out of him faster than he could even think about what he was writing. He eventually stopped to read the stream of consciousness that filled the pages of his notebook.

Kate, Kate, Kate.

The melodies, the imagery, the metaphors. He was writing about Kate and didn't even realise it.

Kate, Kate, Kate. 

It was all there, in the span of ten minutes, the entity, the woman, the person. His person in more ways than he had been aware of.

Kathani, Kate, Lamb. 

He felt lightheaded, looking back at the last few years with all the filters removed, finally seeing everything for what it truly was.

He laughed to save from crying, to stave off the pity and frustration and…anger he knew he would be directing at himself soon enough.

So much wasted time.

Well, he couldn't get that time back. He could only attempt one hell of a course correction.

Mine, mine, mine.

Hers, hers, hers.

It was a wish, a prayer, a vision of his future–of their future. 

Ours, ours, ours.

He stared at the pages again. He needed to find a way to distil them down into… something. He didn’t know what.

Something worthy of her. 

Kate, Kate, Kate. 

[NOTE:

“Mother, don't worry, I killed the last snake that lived in the creek bed

Mother, don't worry, I've got some money I saved for the weekend

Mother, remember being so stern with that girl who was with me?

Mother, remember the blink of an eye when I breathed through your body?

So may the sunrise bring hope where it once was forgotten

Sons are like birds, flying upward over the mountain

Mother, I made it up from the bruise on the floor of this prison

Mother, I lost it, all of the fear of the Lord I was given

Mother, forget me now that the creek drank the cradle you sang to

Mother, forgive me, I sold your car for the shoes that I gave you

So may the sunrise bring hope where it once was forgotten

Sons could be birds, taken broken up to the mountain

Mother, don't worry, I've got a coat and some friends on the corner

Mother, don't worry, she's got a garden we're planting together

Mother, remember the night that the dog had her pups in the pantry?

Blood on the floor, fleas on their paws, and you cried 'til the morning

So may the sunrise bring hope where it once was forgotten

Sons are like birds, flying always over the mountain”

“Upward Over the Mountain” by Iron & Wine.

Lyrics by Sam Beam.]

#bridgerton #anthony x kate #kanthony #kate and anthony #kate x anthony #kate bridgerton #kate sharma #kate sheffield #anthony and kate #anthony bridgerton #viscountess bridgerton #viscount bridgerton #the viscount who loved me #kathony fanfic #kathony fic #kathony #kanthony fic #kanthony fanfic #kanthony fanfiction #musician au #lilies and soap au #lilies and soap #bridgerton au #bridgerton fanfiction #bridgerton fic #lord bridgerton #lady bridgerton

[desultory-suggestions]

this is, definitely not a very good place to vent

buuut, school is going to send me a home visit just 'cause i vented with the school therapist the other day (just a small thing, i told them that my mom screams at me from time to time)

i know my mom is gonna get so mad and she probably gonna shout at me, believe me, many people alredy tried to work with her before but it's impossible

i'm very anxious and nervous about everything ...

Hello, love. I’m sorry to hear you’re going through this. It can be hard to navigate situations where you need to be able to be honest with someone and confide in them, but they are concerned with the responsibility of protecting you and accidentally make it harder for you.

Screaming matches and yelling are unfortunately normalized in many relationships. I myself used to have huge arguments with my mom that really weren’t healthy or respectful, and until I grew up I didn’t fully understand how bad it was.

You don’t deserve to be yelled and screamed at, even if someone is very upset they must take responsibility for their actions. I’m sorry to hear that your mom has refused to progress when offered help, because I’m sure if she worked on her communication you could have a much better understanding.

I recommend being honest with your school counselor about what you told me. Even with good intentions, they did end up making things more complicated. There may be an understanding you can reach, and it may help them in the future to help you.

If you no longer feel comfortable speaking to your school counselor, perhaps you can consult your mom about seeing a therapist who can offer you more trust and support. Therapists also have to report certain things, but generally they do not panic as easily as an overburdened school counselor and will dig into the situation to help decide what to do. She may refuse this, I do not know her feelings in the topic. If she does, know that there are still options for people you can confide in, and don’t be afraid to ask counselors about what information they report and how so you are informed.

I hope things turned out okay, and that you get the support you need. Take tender care,

Evan

#asks #anon #family #relationships #anger #yelling/screaming #familial trauma

[starlightshadowsworld]

Danganronpa 3: Future arc episode 1.

Aka Makoto's very, bad horrible day

Thonks.

Okay so we're just gonna jump right into Makoto being arrested.

Fun.

Makoto who just does not give a fuck.

That is not the look of fear.

White haired dude is doing the this is why your arrested thing.

And immediately, vibes are off. Maybe it's cos he's arresting Makoto.

Because Makoto is my boy.

Or because I don't like his hair. It looks... So bad. I can't put it into words but the more I look at it.

Yikes.

Love the snap shot of the tragedy.

Red sky, everyone in Monokuma masks the snap shots of the Remnants causing havoc.

I wasn't prepared for Gundam's snake army.

Which he has, apparently.

Low key thought what is probably a giraffe, was a dinosaur.

And the snake wrapped around him, iconic.

And the lil bit of Nagito bowing to the Warriors of Hope.

... Which makes me realise Komaru and Makoto literally just reunited and now your arresting him.

Booo!!!

Booooooo!!!

"Humanity had one hope against the despairs"

Makoto Naegi.

"The future foundation."

Pfft. Nope.

You don't even get the lenience of not knowing, the game was televised.

Also why do they all have giant ass trench coats, but this one girl has a fur trimmed one?

We were supposed to be coordinated but nooo.

You guys trying to convince me you saved the world and you can't even coordinate a group outfit?

Suuureeee.

I'm sorry but I can't take this serious narration seriously when looking at people with Monokuma masks on.

And a teeny fedora on one side.

It's so silly, I love it.

See, they may be trying to destroy us all but at least they can coordinate.

I do hope we see and hear more of the tragedy. Especially from these guys because we don't know much about it.

I mean our only sources are Junko and Genocider, not the most reliable.

16 remaining.

...thats not gonna last. And I'm glad we're not doing 15 and than a secret 16 student this time.

At least I hope so.

I swear if there's a random 17th student I'm gonna flip the table.

Random dude with a bull head.

And fur coat girl feeding the guy who's head is on her lap food.

Okay than.

I dunno why but I was suprised they had talents like oh yeah that's not just a high school thing is it.

Immediately, suspicious.

Because tf you mean the Director is the former Director of Hope's Peak.

You mean to tell me there are teachers that survived?

Given what happened to Jin Kirigiri I just assumed all the teachers were gone.

... Apparently not....

But the director? How did Izuru not just destroy you? Like you survived? Are you the only one who did?

I was so scared he was gonna be a secret Kirigiri or something.

Also sus that we don't know his talent, unless he doesn't have one.

I'll be honest, the talents are kinda lame. I mean we've got:

Wrestler.

School scout.

Therapist.

Pharmacist.

Boxer.

Confectioner.

Farmer.

Blacksmith.

Housekeeper.

They aren't bad, they are some pretty cool ones but we're coming off detective, gambling queen, soilder.

Like I expect a few normal titles but suprised there was nothing crazy.

... I'm gonna take that back when the Housekeeper goes full Kirumi Tojo and turns out to he president of Japan aren't I?

I guess it makes sense because they were the survivors of humanity united together.

So them having normalish talents make sense but yeah.

I'm actually more suprised everyone was a Hope's peak student or staff member than anything else.

Also we gotta give them a better title than "Former super high school level" because that just sounds sad.

Oh and we're on a completly safe on an island that no one knows about...

Yeah ya'll are fucked.

White haired dude is back.

And we know he's clearly a big deal because he walked up onto the table.

... How high are the ceilings here?

Kyosuke Munakata. He's the vice chairman of the future foundation.

I will say his hair sucks but that tie is interesting.

And suspicious.

No one walks around in all white with a black tie that has a monster on it.

And we get a full look at the Remnants.

Badass.

Also Mikan's nurse hat looks so adorable.

Twogami with the night vision goggles.

Foreshadowing.

Sonia with the crown 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼yesss.

What are you talking about? You don't look at these murderers with glowing red eyes and think, besties?

Sounds like a you problem.

They officially call Makoto the Ultimate Hope.

So happy, I'd be more happy if they weren't trying to arrest him tho.

"Is he even worthy of that name?"

... If I didn't like you before I sure don't now Munakata.

Don't talk about my boy like that.

Sidenote, I dunno why they keep calling it treason. You guys aren't as far as I know a government or a monarchy.

It's not treason.

Man nothings ever gonna top Makoto showing up late to his own trial.

👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼

Asahina!!! And Kyoko!!! With him, yess.

Outfits look great guys.

Maybe that's how you become a future foundation enemy? You just outclass them in the fashion department.

Man I missed these guys.

And yeah... They just arrest Makoto, no rebuttal just accepting he did the crime they're accusing him of and he deserves the punishment.

Love Asahina trying though, that was sweet. It must be hard for these guys too.

And I really like how there's people in the foundation wgo still respect Makoto.

Yeah he betrayed you, you're just doing you're job.

But he's also a colleague, he's someone you've come to know. You still respect him for the things he's done and still like him as a person.

I appreciate that.

... Unfortunately there's also the asshole's who hate him completely.

And fucking beat him to the ground.

And someone tried to throw a knife at Asahina, who's innocent mind you.

...This series is gonna give me anger issues I swear.

That good ol hopes Peak hypocrcy alive and well it seems.

I never thought I'd say this but can we start the killing game?

Please.

They made him bleed the asshole's... And the blood is red.

Kyoko maintaining her image because she knows she has too, while making it clear she is pissed off.

She's immediately characterised correctly.

... Is Chisa the Housekeeper lady with Munakata?

Girl I don't even know you and you deserve better.

Kyoko being Makoto's boss makes so much sense, professionally.

And in her own way telling Asahina she doesn't want her going down with them.

Asahina though, not backing down. I love the friendship between these two.

"We've been through worse."

Ha ha... Don't say it...shhsss

Wait, Chisa taught the Remnants?!

I guess someone would've had to but... What?! You're telling me they allowed her in here?

I appreciate her talking about this, hearing from her you can't kill them with kindness.

Hits harder, because she probably tried to. It must've been hard for her to see her own class destroy the world.

And visually they both look similiar, same green eyes and brown hair.

I wonder if she sees part of her in him. And telling him to quit while he's ahead.

... But Makoto's gonna do it anyway.

Or already has.

I love his answer though, it's so utterly Makoto.

They were people, they weren't born evil and I see hope in them.

... Fine I'll give Munakata a chance but I'm 👀watching you mister.

Hmm let's see, the buildings shaking and there's a bunch of dead bodies in a toilet stall.

Killing game tiiime.

I love the idea of Kyoko abd Asahina just shoving Yasuhiro outside.

Glad he looks the most changed, because he always was the oldest.

Aaand rocket missles.

Man Makoto just getting treated like shit... What would holding him down do? He's already injured.

I get that he's Lucky but it's not always good... As your about to see.

I will say I appreciate Munakata being level headed in the crisis. He might be vice chairman but he's definitely a leader.

Kinda like how Kyoko is Makoto's boss but when it comes to it, Makoto is definitely the leader between them. With Kyoko as his second.

Which is a neat parallel between him and Munakata.

Welp there's the sleeping gas.

And we're waking up disorientated and confused.

With... Bracelets? So at least Makoto got the handcuffs off.

Monokuma's suprise shouldn't make me laugh but here we are.

Makoto looks horrified, poor guy. I think he could've gone his whole life without hearing that again.

Poor boy, got arrested, beat the fuck up, and now relieving the worst experience of his life again.

With all the people who want him dead.

... Fuck man..

I hope the confusion is more what the fuck are you and not what is that?

Because I'm sorry if you don't know what a Monokuma is by now...you're really bad at you're job.

But ohhh boy we really are back in buisness.

"We'll make it a game, you millenials are into that aren't ya."

👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼

Makoto, I appreciate the early Hope speech because fuck Monokuma.

But literally everyone but your friends and Chisa maybe want you dead.

...and hun, you know how this works.

Makoto being instantly horrified and pissed off is the Makoto I need more off.

.... And they fucking killed Chisa.

I don't think we've ever had an opening kill? But... Fuck man, I was expecting her to survive.

... Nope... And oh man it's so brutal, the red blood really makes it worse.

And now Munakata's grieving and pissed...

Which means one of the more level headed dudes isn't gonna be anymore.

Man...Games begun.

Monokuma addressing Makoto by name like an old friend just adds to it.

Fuck man we in for a ride.

#danganronpa 3: the end of hope's peak high school #Danganronpa #makoto naegi #kyosuke munakata #kyoko kirigiri #asahina aoi #long post