#my gOD the character development we get for otto

[suffarustuffaru]

What's your thoughts on Garfield

i really really like garfiel!! its been a while since ive read arc 5-6 though so like specific plot details get a little murky in my brain (....also arc 7-8's chaotic plotline sometimes too HAH), but yeah like. garfiel and his family add to like those familial relationship themes in rezero i think, and im Invested in their family drama. and yknow i do like garfiel a lot on his own. dudes like a shounen protagonist in the best way possible i think? like i like that hes introduced as a somewhat unpredictable minor antagonist in arc 4 - i remember being interested when reading arc 4 wn (this was before s2 came out HAH) bc it was like. whys garf acting like this from loop to loop. whats going on with him. AND THEN HIS BACKSTORY REVEAL AND THE TRIAL AND THE REVEAL THAT HES SO YOUNG HAH... its perfect. explains his behavior perfectly. and my fondness for him was cemented in that exact moment.

so like garfiel isnt a rezero character that i obsessively go insane over atm (......thats reserved for subaru emilia reinhard otto heinkel i suppose......) but i really like him a lot. i like how he has like. slight misogynistic moments that he gets called out for LMAO T^TT but hes such a sweetheart with the elderly in sanctuary - hes a mamas boy...... and hes pretty earnest and determined at heart. and he likes to READ... HES A BOOKWORM... hes. such a teenage boy. the teenage boy of all time. that i cannot help but feel fond of him, and hes grown even kinder by arc 8 with all the connections hes made... like i absolutely lovee his arc 8 development. its amazing, and i cant wait to see where he goes from here!!! garfiel's arc 8 chapter with the theatre dream is one of my favorite arc 8 moments of all time!!!! and im terrified of whatll happen thatll cause garfiel's line in emilia's third trial :,))))) but very excited. and also i like the garfiel-heinkel dynamic okay sue me (dont sue me literally im a college student). and i think its really fucking funny that they were both cats in garfiel's theatre dream okay.

also ofc i love the three idiots (subaru otto garfiel) dynamic. absolutely hilarious. and as an older sibling myself to a little brother its very relatable LMAO. but also that moment in gluttony if... where the three of them come to a head bc subarus Like That :(((( man............. but on a lighter note the three idiots ss were very fun reads for me!!! <3

AND OK i want to get more garfiel frederica stuff too. like ofc i want to learn more about frederica and im kind of disappointed that we have to wait so long for that if tappeis word of god stuff on that is true :,) and a tinyyy bit disappointed that frederica didnt get to experience the stuff in arc 5 about her and garfiel's mom and new extended family and stuff :<< but i did enjoy the post-arc 4 wn garfiel frederica bonding :,))) and i did actually consider making a fanfic about garfiel and frederica's mom bc her story is just really, really sad - and if i did do that, id do a lot of research into garfiel, frederica, and their family!! which id love to do i just have limited time bc Real Life HAH so maybe someday!!!

in conclusion i absolutely love garfiel. im on the garfiel defense squad. id die for garfiel. garfiel??? little brother material. absolutely great. spectacular. i love him. i support his endeavors. hes amazing hes soooooooo cool hes - *gets shot*

#this entire ask was me fanboying about garfiel and less about analysis but i do really like him ok HAH #im no expert on him but im fond of him <3 he has a very noogie-able head. #rezero #re:zero #garfiel tinsel #ask #arc 5 spoilers #arc 8 spoilers

[ladymelisande]

The thing is, I think the idea of a character who's stuck in a belief system and does *everything right* according to said belief system while getting very little actual reward in return is interesting... if they wanted to use that idea to develop Helaena, because it adds up to the little we knew of her from the book. With show!Alicent, we basically see the Trauma Conga Line throughout season 1 and from then on, all you can say is "and now what? She cries her way through the rest of the series?"

Was this message longer when you send it?

Yes, but honestly, the problem with Show!Alicent is that she wants nothing. We don't know what she wants through the series: does she want love? Recognition? Power? None of the writers seem to agree. It's like they wrote parts of her every two months and forgot what they were writing in between. On the script of the first episode it does say Alicent was sort of jealous of Rhaenyra's position... But we don't see shit of that on screen because the narrative doesn't recognise it. The narrative acts as if Alicent is a poor little victim that wants nothing and is pushed by everyone around her. Even Larys becomes her supposed perpetrator in the most offensive way possible.

She is like the worst written of Mary Sues. Everyone wants her, she is victim of every man in court, she is victim of every woman that has the slightest show of will. Her opportunity to do something was the Green Council and I guess Hess kind of forgot she was the one who opened it in the book. So instead we have a crying idiot that apparently stands up to her father... But at the end just... ends up doing what he wants anyway? What?

When I made Alicent decide to become queen in my fic, I made sure to leave scenes where she acts on her own, not on the benefit of her house. Otto tells her much many times. Alicent in Episode 9 had this speech and then still did what she was told without much, God, it is so irritating.

I honestly, can't take her Trauma Conga Line seriously because it feels forced. She is an antagonist, she is supposed to move, to make decisions, instead she cries.

#may answers

[ottokallenhonkai3rd]

⚜ 𝐼𝑠 𝑂𝑡𝑡𝑜 𝑜𝑏𝑠𝑒𝑠𝑠𝑒𝑑 ⚜

The question that keeps popping up in fandom... Is Otto obsessed with Kallen? - My answer would be. Yes and no. ~♥~ Otto was sickly and fragile as a child. So in a family that is corrupt and craving for power, he was of no use. So Otto always stood behind his older siblings. In order to still be useful, he tried to invent things. That's how he built the glider. Kallen was the first person to praise him for his inventions and subsequently befriend him. And this part of Otto's story is essential for his whole life. I can understand Otto well. Because I have a handicap and a strict family home, in which I am not given the feeling that I am of any use. And that does something to you. You WANT to feel needed, you WANT to be a part of this society. And when you're always made to feel like you're useless and the siblings who are more useful are getting praise and recognition... You crave all the attention you can get. No matter by whom. Now I think that Otto's parents' house is a little worse than mine. And then that one person comes along who gives you THIS what you wanted. When Kallen's father died, he slowly became aware that sooner or later Kallen could die like this. And this fear runs through his whole life. In fact, Kallen is so essential to his life that he is willing to sacrifice himself for her happiness. He doesn't understand that he is also important to her and that she would never have wanted that. He only understands that he made her unhappy with his act. This thinking that he is useless has manifested itself so strongly in him that he doesn't even notice it himself. Then there is the fact that he developed feelings for her, which he never shared with her. This is also the reason why he agrees to his sister's plan and releases the Honkai Beasts on Kallen's execution day. He does care about the people. But from the moment when it came to Kallen's life, his thinking has completely gone byebye. When Kallen dies, he tries everything to revive her. And he doesn't care how many people dies for his plan...? No. When God shows him his past, you could notice how Otto tried to suppress his crimes. When he threatens to shoot Siegfried Kaslana, a rather pained face appears under his clown mask. He cares about the people around him and suffers from his own crimes too. But he accepts their deaths for the sake of resurrecting Kallen and the survival of humanity. He had the choice between: "We leave everything as it is and nobody gets hurt." or "I plan to revive Kallen and sacrifice other people to do it." And Kallen is essential to him, because she was the only person in his life who valued him for who he was. Without her, he has virtually no reason to live. Of course he finally chose Kallen. So yes. He's very attached to Kallen. But is it also obsession? In the webcomics his character changes a lot. In "Elan Palatinus" you only see his soft side. In "Secound Erruption", "The secount Key" and "London Holydays" he is portrayed as very unscrupulous, but his soft side is always shown a little bit. The fact that Otto did not appear in his battle avatar but in his child form in front of his Vallkyren because the women might be crazy about certain body parts. *cough* In some webcomics he also has a slightly aloof touch. In "Moon Shadow" and "St. Freya High" he is portrayed in an extremely aloof manner. Also in front of Kallen. And you also get the impression that he's pretty superficial and he doesn't care about anything other than Kallen. At this point, I have to say, he really seems quite obsessed. But how do people actually behave when they are obsessively in love? - They have a distorted image of their partner - They have possessiveness - They will quickly become jealous - They have low self-esteem - After the relationship, they stalk or fall in love with the next person very quickly. (Part 2)

#honkai impact #honkaimpact3rd #ottokallen #kallen kaslana #otto apocalypse

[moonstone27ls]

Unicorn Warriors Eternal ep 8...

Not gonna even give a spoiler warning because... its going on an old trope thats annoying the hell out of me... actually two but I’ll get to that in a minute.

So several twists in turns with this. Good fight scenes. I actually applaud them trying to give Edred’s character some depth. By questioning/and even looking scared about their future. Soooo...  obviously we all know the Evil’s not dead. I do believe (probably possessed) Merlin when he said it was Otto. Otto’s character was very suspicious. But I don’t think either one is the evil. I think the “Evil” has agents. Fox was one of them, she’s eliminated or been replaced. Otto couldn’t (or probably wasn’t the main target) do the job and so now its Merlin. But I wonder will they have to kill Merlin? Or can Merlin get set free? Maybe...

Though I’ll be honest the factor that it went after Melinda. STILL makes me think her mother’s in there. She’s either fused or part of the “Evil” because that was always her ultimate goal to remove her magic.  

Soooo... Winston is back.. werewolf not shocked. I have mixed feelings. I know earlier I said he could be of help. But... I think the problem is the execution. There’s just a few problems in general. I don’t know if its the writing, planning, or Tartakovsky.... he never has been the BEST at romances. (Samurai Jack, *coughs the conception of Spear’s daughter* awkwardddd)

But okay gonna say it again... I FREAKIN’ HATE LOVE TRIANGLES. They bring out the worse in every character. Now before some Winston shipper gets on my ass, gonna say shutup.(sorry/not sorry) I love Edred, I GEUNINELY love this character. I want more development. But this doesn’t bring out his good side.

Argument wise as to him getting bit... its a little of all three. Melinda/or Emma?(talk on that later) didn’t have full control/ Edred probably should have at least put him closer/and Winston ... BECAUSE YOU ARE A STUPID IDIOT WHO SHOULD NOT HAVE BEEN FOLLOWING OBVIOUS DANGER/AND THERE IS NO WAY YOU ARE THAT FAST. Guy can’t even beat Alfie/Seng at soccer so no not buying that. Their argument is getting tiresome. And while I get Melinda/Emma? is confused I’m like “GOD GIRL SMACK THEM BOTH AND SAY “I’M NOT PROPERTY”.

As for their fight... uhh both’s to blame. And yes I’m being bias, Winston has been PURPOSELY poking at him. But I also get that Edred doesn’t fully understand, I think he’s trying but he’s not all there. Melinda/Emma are sorta cosharing the helm. So yes naturally he would get pissed to hear a cocky little twit brag that his wife(I’m assuming they married/or would have?) is with another.

And before someone again bites my ass, I’m not ignoring his behavior. Yes but as I said love triangles bring out THE WORSE in a character. Its why I couldn’t enjoy Legend of Korra/or SVTFOE. Plus again, Edred is starting to realize that they are... in very AWKWARD situations. Because again I mentioned he’s realizing the bigger picture. They are suppose to be in those bodies temporarily, they never planned/nor wanted to stay in control and hold those incarnations hostage.

But I’ll restate this, I’m getting SICK AND TIRED OF WINSTON. Winston have some actual character development.HAVE SOME GODDAMN AWARENESS THAT THIS IS BIGGER THAN YOU! ITS NOT A GODDAMN GAME!

But thats why I sorta am not on board with him joining the team. There is no ah-ha moment. There is no real development because the writing is not consistent. Again I dunno if its the writing/or Tartakovsky, but one minute Winston goes from typical “werewolf monster”. To being fully self aware. Now I could have found that episode more enjoyable IF Winston had actually struggled with his ability. But the story flipflops. Heck a part of me is almost convinced he’s faking feralness just to make Emma come back to him.

And why? Okay first scene, he’s eating/scaring people yes. But he stops when he sees Melinda. Heck him shifting back/and forth from the moon. Now I could have gone with that. But he clearly shows control when they’re with Merlin and when he starts a fight with Edred. When Emma/Melinda screams he VOCALLY says her name. (sorry if I’m rambling)

The point is there is NO STRUGGLE. We don’t see it or get it.  I would hope we’ll get some actual development next ep but I dunno considering they only have two eps left. The story can not decide what Winston is. Just makes him look like some hellbent lover determined to get Emma back and remove his competition (yes I’m calling it he would have killed Edred if he got the chance).

I wanted some ACTUAL story with this. Not more of Winston being in the way/love triangle/ she’s MINE FOREVER, SHE LOVES ONLY ME. Its so goddamn annoying.

In my opinion (again dunno the circumstances). I would have liked to see Winston struggle with this. Actually act like he was claiming to be. Struggling to stop himself from even hurting Emma. Emma/or Edred would have to talk. SOME COMPROMISE. Let Winston actually see that Edred does genuinely love Melinda. That this isn’t some love triangle/rectangle? they are just in a loop they had no choice but to say yes to. Now one could argue he sorta had that in his argument with Edred... but I don’t count that.

Cause it was brief. There was no actual worrying. Heck I would have liked it if he looked at Edred and been all “Okay you’re so smart... this had happened to you. Would Melinda still want you? How would you approach this?”. Actually have them do something OTHER than fighting over a girl.

Then there’s Melinda... or Emma? No I’m not complaining about them. More of their situation. There’s also a lack of consistency in their storyline. We can all come to an agreement, that to a degree these reincarnated spirits are not.... “fully baked” (sorry for that analogy I couldn’t think of a better comparison). 

Okay I get that. Thats why Alfie is hippy/sorta going with the flow with his dual partnership. Edred has no full strength. And Emma was in partial control. But again it comes to mind.... how much in control is Melinda in? And why can’t she remember everything? In the beginning I thought it was because Emma was trying to fight for control. Thus we had that whole her literally arguing with Melinda to fight those statues.

But... here’s where the consistency is bothering me. She literally had an argument with Melinda in the spiritual plane or whatever. Thats the Melinda we know. And to a degree she’s still there. I even think she was there when she confronted her dad. What bothers me is that spirit wise when she had to go back to Emma. She SAW EDRED, she recognized him. That is HER LOVER, the same way Emma/Winston see each other.

So if we have this why is Melinda pushing her lover away? Why can’t she remember her life moments with Edred? Some are coming back... but hmmm... is it again she’s not fully baked?/because she shares duality with Emma? 

I just I don’t feel Tartakovsky would be showing all their past and had that last episode with flashbacks of their lovestory IF this wasn’t real. I know Winston was saying it to goad Edred. But I don’t believe Melinda’s “in love with Winston”. I think whe its Winston, thats Emma at the helm. But a part of me wishes I could hear them talk about Edred/talk about how this love rectangle is problematic/ I wanna see MELINDA (not Emma) share her moments again with Edred.

Because again I don’t think  Tartakovsky would be showing us this if he thought Melinda/Edred were a doomed relationship. I feel like this is to cement/ “yeah they’re a thing. Its not puppy love either”.

I dunno, but then again this is all an allergory for him about growing up/adulthood/changing blahblah. Anddddd Tartakovsky’s a great show giver but not the best at romance. Sooo whoooo knows. I just wish this love drama would end XD

#unicorn warriors eternal

[random-jot]

Top 15 Current Favourite Movies Tag

Tagged by @smalltownfae !!! Thank you 😸

Fair warning, this is gonna be a long’un, but here we go, starting with the top spot:

1. Jurassic Park

Dinosaur kid gang rise up! Everything about this movie is so good, as a kid I loved it because big dinosaurs make brain go brrr, growing up I grew to appreciate the direction, the cast, the storytelling element of it, the character arc of Alan Grant learning to accept the responsibilities of being a parent, with commentary on the dangers of abusing scientific progress and trying to subdue nature oh my god this movie is good. No wasted space in this movie as well, every single scene adds something, some other layer to it. God, remember when the Jurassic movies were actually about something? This movie absolutely rules.

2. The Lord Of The Rings: The Fellowship Of The Ring

You do not have to follow me for a long time before realising I FUCKING LOVE Lord Of The Rings, I grew up with these movies and rewatching them - especially this one - feels like coming home. The attention to detail, the care taken in adapting Tolkien’s work, the cast, the insanely-good-for-the-time special effects (I’m talking about the Balrog sequence, not so much the Elrond’s floating head bit) the goddamn score? Howard Shore went off. These movies will always hold a special place in my heart. Buckle in, ‘cause you might’ve guessed what the next two are gonna be.

3. The Lord Of The Rings: The Two Towers

What can I say here that I didn’t say above? Well, I love the new characters we get; Treebeard, Faramir, Éomer and Éowyn, et al. The way this movie takes time to really demonstrate the impact of Saruman’s warmongering and devastation; the Two Towers is a war movie disguised as a fantasy movie. I adore the further development of Merry and Pippin’s character arcs, forcing the two seemingly most dependable members of the Fellowship into a situation where they have to fend for themselves, allowing them both to grow. Helms Deep. Just, all of Helms Deep. And of course the absolutely incredible performance of Andy Serkis as Gollum/Sméagol is just the cherry on top of it all.

4. The Lord Of The Rings: The Return Of The King

C’mon, you knew this was coming. This is one of the earliest movies I really vividly remember seeing in cinemas, feeling the sheer excitement of it all as the New Line Cinema logo fades in. The emotional payoffs in this movie are second to none. “I can’t carry it for you, but I can carry you” “Are you going to leave me? No Merry, I’m going to look after you” “I am no man” “My friends, you bow to no-one” “I will not say do not weep for not all tears are an evil.” Pippin’s growth as a character is incredible and not talked about enough, and the way that Frodo returns after the war but knows he is so fundamentally changed and traumatised by his experience that he can never truly return to the life he once had and aaaaaaaaaa i just really fucking love Lord Of The Rings!

5. Spider-Man (2002)

“I had a father. And his name was Ben Parker.” It’s more than just nostalgia goggles on this one; was Tobey a bit too old to play a high-schooler? Yes. Did Raimi take some artistic liberties with the source material? Sure. But do Tobey and Kirsten have amazing on-screen chemistry? Yes! Does this movie accurately reflect what Spider-Man is all about at its core? One hundred percent!

6. Spider-Man 2

It’s often said that the sequel is always worse that the original - this movie may just be an exception to that rule. It further develops all the characters in a really compelling way, especially in the bubbling conflict between Peter and Harry, but perhaps the most outstanding feature of this one is Alfred Molina’s turn as the villainous Doctor Otto Octavius. The tragic downfall of Dock Ock is one the most compelling parts of this movie, culminating in one of the greatest superhero fight scenes ever put to screen; that being the train scene. I won’t delve too deeply into behind the scenes drama, but it is something of a minor miracle that this movie was even good, let alone great, but here it stands: an iconic piece of superhero cinema.

7. Rat Race

“My grandfather used to say good things take time; great things happen all at once.” A change of pace here, no superhero’s or sci-fi antics, this is a balls-to-the-wall feel good comedy with an absolutely star-studded cast; John Cleese, Rowan Atkinson, Whoopie Goldberg, to name a few. I’ve never put on this movie and had a bad time, in fact no matter how many times I watch it is always elicits a good few laugh out loud moments that never lose their impact.

8. Kingsman: The Secret Service

This is one of few movies, in fact perhaps the only movie, that I walked out of after seeing the first time and thought, nay, knew ‘this is one of my favourite movies of all time’ and that sentiment has stayed true to this day. The church scene is of course amazing, but the movie is so much more than just that. This movie is a masterclass in keeping tension, a loving homage to the spy movies of old with an infectious new directing style and impeccable choreography, with both a licensed soundtrack and an original soundtrack that elevate the entire experience. I was on the edge of my seat the entire time I saw this for the first time, it’s got action, laughs, gadgets, style and substance in spades. It’s just a shame that the sequels did away with the substance part of that equation. I also maintain that this is the best James Bond movie ever made.

9. The Faculty

A more obscure cult movie, though surprisingly star-studded. This is the sci-fi horror counterpart to Scream, kicking off strong as it opens with The Offspring’s ‘The Kids Aren’t Alright’ and shortly introducing us to Casey, played by a pre-LOTR Elijah Wood no less! An unlikely group of teens team up to prevent alien parasites taking over their school and it is a gory and glorious rollercoaster ride of insanity. Like with Rat Race, I have never put this movie on and had a bad time.

10. Hot Fuzz

Absolute banger of a film. The jokes, the cast, the directing, this is undoubtedly the pinnacle of the Cornetto Trilogy, as well as being a Hoffman masterclass in foreshadowing. Edgar Wright’s unique directing style combined with the unstoppable chemistry of Pegg and Frost in the lead roles and boom! An iconic piece of British filmmaking.

11. Back To The Future

Speaking of excellent scripts, I think BTTF has one of the most tightly written screenplay’s in Hollywood, which is no mean feat for a time travel movie. Alan Silvestri’s score for the movie is fantastic, it is funny, it is tense, it is original, it’s just good.

12. Die Hard

I had heard much about Die Hard before ever watching it, and I had thought to myself ‘surely it can’t live up to the hype.’ Boy howdy, was I wrong. There is a reason this is remembered as one of the greatest action movies of all time; John McClane is a sympathetic and charismatic protagonist, but Alan Rickman’s performance as the villainous Hans Gruber is what really kicks this movie up a notch. An action movie with tension and real stakes, that doesn’t forget to still have heart and emotional stakes as well as physical ones. Die Hard is great. Also yes it is a Christmas movie.

13. The World’s End

Another one from the Cornetto Trilogy, and certainly the most underrated of the three. To be fair, it had big shoes to fill, but this is the one I find myself coming back to over and over. It is insanely funny, like it’s predecessors, has brilliant foreshadowing, like it’s predecessors, but where this movie truly excels is in the complexity of its characters. Watching this movie not as a comedy but as a character study of Gary King is where you’ll get the most out of it, watching the desperation of a man who is at his world’s end, desperately trying to cling to the past, to the last time he ever felt truly happy. The movie really takes on a whole new level when you realise that even before the alien robots attack, Gary never had any intention of surviving this night. The weaving of comedy and tragedy here is done to perfection.

14. The Truman Show

Speaking of tragedy, here is a movie that has aged like a fine wine, accidentally predicting many of the flaws and insidious aspects of Reality TV, which would rise to prominence in the following years. Your heart breaks for Truman as he comes to realise that his entire world, even down to his own friends and family, is completely fake, a facade constructed by someone else for the voyeuristic entertainment of others. This movie showcases Jim Carrey is so much more than a wacky comedic actor, but has the chops to pull off some incredibly dramatic and serious acting. This movie is excellent, and it inspired the music video for ‘If The World Was To End’ by Lower Than Atlantis, which is a fun bonus.

15. American Pie 2

Perhaps incongruous compared to my other choices on this list, but I’ll always have a nostalgic sweet spot for this movie - watching this series was a right of passage when I was growing up, and of all of them the second one was always the most feel-good, not to mention the banging soundtrack. It’s just a silly, funny movie that really makes you want to hang out in the summer with your friends. Another simple comfort/feel-good movie.

Tagging: @b-listbadboy @tazzypenguin @primatechnosynthpop @ifeelasongcomingon @meowtalhead @binders-and-beanies @blagueofchaos AND anyone else who wants to, go ahead just say i tagged ya

#tag game #thanks for the tag!! #top movies #favourite movies #jurassic park #lord of the rings #spider-man #spider-man 2 #kingsman: the secret service #rat race #the faculty #hot fuzz #back to the future #die hard #the truman show #american pie 2 #the world's end

[ceoofhelaegon]

The way the show handled helaegon irritates the life out of me! I’m will admit I’m not really a fan of the greens (mainly ser crispy/Otto/Aemond) and favour the blacks but sweet Helaena and Aegon are such wasted potential!!!

Below is just my personal opinion on it, not that I believe anyone will greatly care but I’m still sharing them 😂 major spoilers if you haven’t read the book! So please ignore if you don’t know what happens in fire and blood

So I absolutely adore Jace, Luke and Joff who are victims in the dance of dragons, but my problem is the show writers have completely ignored the fact Alicent’s children are victims too!! Helaena and Aegon are BOTH forced into marriage at a young age while he being groomed to usurp his sister

The show kept out ser crispy putting the fear of god into Aegon when he tries to refuse the throne, like I didn’t feel as if the show fully showed how forced into it he was

Aegon is an asshole in the books, he cheats on his wife and acts like a drunken fool but the show made him a rapist to make it more biased so the viewers who haven’t read the books favour the blacks

Who even is Helaena in the show? We get about three minutes of her as a side character rather than the sweet princess who’s a dragon dreamer

Now noodle boy Caraxes is my favourite dragon but their is no dismissing that Aegon and Sunfyre have the best bond, but yet the show failed to highlight it!

I could write a essay on how much I love book Rhaenyra and how I think she is a victim in her own right, but I completely understand why Aegon does what he does… spoiler… after Luke’s death blood and cheese (despite it being Daemon and Aemond’s doing) there is no going back, one of them needs to die, however I know the show will butcher the whole scene and make it seem like Aegon has done it for power

The show has made it seem like Aegon doesn’t give a fuck about his wife or children, when everything he does is for them! He accepts the crown to protect his family because he truly believes Rhaenyra will kill them all if she is queen, he seeks justice after blood and cheese! Aegon does not give a shit about the crown, he just wants to protect his family

Neither Rhaenyra or Aegon had a chance because of Viserys! He is the soul reason for the dance happening in the first place, he desperately wanted a son to be heir which Aemma died trying to give him, then when he finally had one he ignores him. Also when he crowned Rhaenyra he should have continually reminded all the other houses who swore to her that she was to be Queen, if he had done that then Aegon wouldn’t have been brain washed and groomed for king and house Targaryen wouldn’t have torn themselves apart

It’s fine, I read the books not to worry, Nonnie.

Yeah, they handled Aegon and Helaena so badly. Even Criston, he was smart and a great warrior but in the show he’s just a rage machine, which considering the fact they made him Dornish was a choice.

They didn’t developed Aegon and Helaena or their relationship at all. I ranted way too much about that lmao.

You’re right, Viserys was the villain. The fact that TB thinks that he didn’t set Rhaenyra to fail by marrying is beyond me.

#ask #anon #answered

[worldweaverofmediocrity]

Isekai Quartet Reacts ch6

An: I'm using the OVAs for Subtitles of the songs only, because I believe they are non-canon. That and because I don't find the first one funny. If you haven't read the first interlude before this, go back and read it. Also just finished the isekai quartet movie as my new year's celebration (Dec 31 of 2022). And Re zero’s timeline just got a whole lot more complicated. Because they now have season 2 development/powers, and at the end both Otto and Garfiel join the school.

THAT’s excluding the only semi-cannon of Alec Hoshin (Re zero) appearance who made the nation where Anatasia came from and is her namesake. AND the only appearance of Glittering Angel Neko Nyan-san (Overlord) who is the Wind God of the Slane Theocracy. Because his hair is blue and blue is associated with wind in Marumya’s mind. AND Alec dropped even more fuel for the Subaru=Flugel/Emilia=Satella/Repeating World Cycle ala Hinduism Theories.

BECAUSE OF FUCKING COURSE HE DID! WHY CAN’T SUBARU AND EMILIA JUST BE THEMSELVES WITHOUT ALSO BEING A CHARACTER FROM PRE-CALAMITY! …or maybe Tappei is an extreme Legend of Zelda fanboy. But hey, we get solid confidence and character building from Ainz. So everything is a net positive. Overall, I enjoyed it more than Avatar: Way of Water. Also if anyone is decent at buddhism or zen buddhism, plz respond. 

>.> don’t know if I’ll go back to rewrite but. I’ve decided that Cocytus lying down is too demeaning to him, so he’s now in an indented seat in the ground, with the floor reaching his chest. 

Got a job on March 27 2023, so I now do eight hour work shifts for 3 days of the week. In the meantime, my other fic Isekai Heroes has become the longest running IQ fic clocking in over 10 chapters. I also completed all 22 volumes of Shield Hero for that story, and read more of the Overlord LNs for that. Currently I am in the process of reading the entirety of Overpowered Hero. …finished Overpowered, and wow it got very “Tonight’s Episode: The Author’s Barely Disguised (Public Humiliation) Fetish.”

Also Seiya is not a planet buster like Vegeta. When placed into a distorted world (thanks Goddess of Atrocity) that (he thought) had absolutely no impact on the true world of Geaebrande, he didn’t blow up the planet. So, (so far at least) all mentions of blowing planets up are hyperbole. Like Reinhard cutting/destroying the world and then recreating it as a side effect of Killing the Beast of the End.

As a side effect of having to constantly pause/I watched and rewatched this anime too many times thus none of the jokes are landing and I don’t know where I should have the characters be laughing.

---------------

A series of irrigated grain paddies was shown. Frogs/another farm ambiance animal made their noises. Another bit of farmland was shown near what was presumably Kazuma’s house. A blurry computer screen was shown before Kazuma raised his hand and tugged on his sleeve.

“There we go…” Kazuma said.

The camera zoomed out to look down at Kazuma and his room. Many books/mangas were shown via their spine art from behind Kazuma and his dual monitor computer.

“I normally shut myself in at home, but unusually for me, today I made up my mind to go out.” Kazuma thought while more of his room was shown.

A closer perspective showed that there were game cases mixed in with the presumed manga. In addition next to his computer were two slimes from Dragon Quest, a magical girl, an anthro cat, a dog wearing sunglasses that might have been female judging by the placement of the flower on its head. An anthro pig next to a shank of meat.

“Why do you have those blue slimes?” Seiya asked. “Only Gaebrande has them.”

Kazuma turned to look him in the eye. “How did you miss the genre defining masterpieces known as Dragon Quest? They basically made a lot of the conventions of the Japanese RPG game.”

“That’s what I said!” Ristarte threw up her arms.

Seiya rubbed his nose. “What you said was [Ah, there’s still a Japanese person who doesn’t know what a slime is.], you didn’t name drop anything.”

“So you have heard of Dragon Quest?!” Ristarte twitched her head. “Then how did you not see the slimes, they are basically the poster figures of the Dragon Quest Franchise!”

The chat log scrolled by, unfortunately untranslated. Kazuma zipped up his tracksuit. Kazuma nodded to himself, picked up his backpack, and walked out of his bedroom.

“All to get my hands on the first-run limited edition-” Kazuma closed his door and the scenery changed to a bridge over a small valley. “Of a popular online game that goes on sale today.”

Time passed as we faded from back and to a faucet above a pond or puddle with tadpoles in it. A bus passed to reveal a happy Kazuma clutching the aforementioned game’s cover. 

“A five hour round trip! I’m glad I was able to buy it.” Kazuma said.

I believe the main theme music is played with piano notes.

“In store exclusives, officials or not, really are playing dirty.” Kazuma commented, slightly glaring at the game he just brought.

Kazuma squinted as the sun blared its presence to all within its gravity well. “This sunlight is my worst enemy after three straight all-nighters.” Kazuma thought while using his hand to block the sun.

“Are you sure you got the right game? Because you should already be hallucinating by then.” Tanya asked.

“How the hell did your body not cave in at the first excuse for sleep like mine did?” Subaru asked.

“Considering there was a massive line, yes I am sure I got the correct game. The hallucination, you’ll see later. Regarding the sleep thing, sports drinks.” Kazuma answered.

Kazuma turned his back on the sunlight and staggered his way home. A highschool girl was walking towards Kazuma and a Truck was gaining ground.

“Time to get home and play the hell out of this.” Kazuma thought.

The girl was happily walking by looking at her cream-covered smartphone. Kazuma walked past her and moved his eyes to glance back at her.

“A girl from my highschool?” Kazuma asked himself.

“High school?” Raphtalia asked.

“Because of the sheer amount of stuff discovered in the Renaissance and Industrial Eras, we’ve had to group education into various age groups.” Naofumi said. “For Japan schooling starts as young as three years old in the Preschool, where the basic Hiragana script and other basic essentials are taught. From preschool we start with the compulsory and government paid public schools. Unless you are rich enough to afford a private school.

In elementary schools we learn a decent chunk of our knowledge considering it starts when we are 6 years old and goes on for 6 years. Though because it only reaches the titular elementary stuff not many organizations fund elementary level schooling and the government pays for over 90% of them. Then there is the final compulsory school for 3 years called the Junior High School. These are noteworthy because they have even fewer private schools than elementary schools and the fact that all of them require their own uniforms.

High Schools however require exams to enter and tuition for the three years that you are there. But do their best to apply the finishing touches to your education and prepare you to enter college where you can study to become lawyers or merchants and other ‘high society’ type positions.”

Emilia giggled. “That’s what I feel like my current education is.”

“Why do you think I am such a nagger at taking breaks, hm?” Subaru asked, left eyebrow raised.

Emilia bowed to his wisdom. 

“The government paid for most of that education?!” Satoru said in his mind. “Perhaps mom wouldn’t have died if the government or corps paid for that.”

Kazuma and the music halted as he saw something offscreen. In the midst of the glaring sunlight, Kazuma saw Truck-Kun barreling through the fields directly towards the highschool girl.

“Look out! That truck’s going to-” Kazuma shouted as he pushed the girl out of the way.

Though Truck-Kun’s true form as a tractor did pass the screen as the camera rapidly filtered between all three members of this accident.

The more prospective members of the theater noticed the change.

“Oh good, he didn’t actually get reaped by Truck-kun.” Tanya thought.

“Why did the trophy for killing over ten thousand human players appear here?” Ainz thought.

Kazuma’s backpack leapt off his back, spilling the game he so desperately wanted. Leaving Kazuma, the girl, and his items hanging in the air in the supposed headlights. The cloudy blue sky was shown.

“Why would I choose now, of all times, to do something so out of character?” Kazuma asked himself.

The game case flipped open dramatically, spilling its contents. A dark purple/brown haired knight figurine, the manual, and the actual CD case all shown in the sunlight. The box had the title of Mrtiad or Myriad (with a sword replacing the r?) Swords II. The CD case fell down to reveal the figurine knight in the front. To the left was a blond haired person wearing a black blindfold and steel-gray armor. To the right was a blond woman wearing golden bikini armor. And behind them all was the stereotypical Old Man Detity.

DVD static played as it faded to white. More DVD screen tearing/static played as Kazuma jerked back into awareness. He was sitting on a red-cushioned chair which was on a very soft/low saturation chess board. Gray mist hung close to the ground, and faint spots of light were shown. Across from Kazuma was a white chair with a white nightstand next to it and a red book upon the night stand.

“Wait, this means that I, a literal skeleton-appearing undead, am the only one out of the main Protags to die?!” Satoru screamed in his mind.

Heels clicked as Aqua walked on screen. Stylishly showing off her sex appeal, though in the most modest way Konosuba will ever be.

“Satou Kazuma-san.” Aqua said elegantly as she walked past Kazuma. “Welcome to the afterlife.”

Megumin and Darkness just sat there resisting the sway of Aqua’s voice.

“That hair ornament, it's the molecular structure of water right?” Satoru questioned.

Those who knew what a molecular structure was twitched and looked at Aqua better.

Aqua merely had an insanely smug grin on her face. “The others I can understand, but you Kazuma? How you could miss the obvious for so long and you call me an idiot!”

Kazuma blushed heavily. 

Those unaware of molecules deduced that it was the smallest instance of Water possible.

“Water is associated with purity and life, among other things. So she’ll definitely be the most troublesome of our fellow schoolmates, regardless of her personality.” Demiurge and Albedo thought. “Though I doubt she would be so foolish as to break a non aggression treaty that she offered. Through the wisdom of the Supreme Beings, we should have enough Water Breathing Rings to counteract any drowning attempts. …assuming her water doesn’t behave like acid to the undead and unholy, especially not Lord Herohero grade.”

“I doubt our ‘Divine’ Level equipment will hold up against an actual Goddess.” Satoru thought.

Mare frowned. “Would most of my spells have even worked on her? Petite Disaster will have worked anyways but that costs so much mana, and if that doesn’t work then I am useless damage wise.”

“Will her body fluids have the Holy aspect to them?” Shalltear thought.

“Please don’t be as insane as the other three Heroes.” the Shield Cast pleaded.

“So that's why her ‘complaint’ was about water.” The Re zero cast thought.

“Unfortunately, you passed away moments ago.” Aqua continued. 

A lens flare-heavy blue cube rotated in place behind the nightstand as Aqua sat down. The camera looked at Kazuma from above Aqua’s head.

“Your life was a short one, but you are, in fact, dead.” Aqua said. 

Aqua had her best 'Customer Service’ Smile applied.

“Just one question…” Kazuma started. “What about the girl I pushed out of harm's way?”

“She’s alive.” Aqua said.

Kazuma breathed a sigh of relief and placed a hand against himself. “Thank goodness.”

Kazuma’s eyes glittered in tears of relief. “That means my death wasn’t in vain.”

Aqua tilted her head in confusion, either hearing Kazuma’s thoughts or guessing from her knowledge of humans. Aqua’s legs were shown as she uncrossed them, the pussy flash/pantyshot never manifesting.

“Actually, she never would have gotten hurt,” Aqua said. “Even if you had never pushed her out of the way.” The soft angelic choir stopped.

Kazuma jerked his head upwards to look at Aqua, the music cut as well. “Huh?”

Aqua opened the red book and read. “That tractor was going to stop before it hit her.”

Kazuma leaned forward. “Huh? Wait a second.”

Emilia frowned. “Does no good deed go unpunished in this theater?” Emilia shook her head. “Don’t be so pessimistic, just because she didn’t need saving doesn’t invalidate the feelings behind Kazuma’s actions. …like I did with Subaru.” 

Aqua curled into her recliner, cringing at what she did. Kazuma leaned over and fiddled with her hair, providing slight comfort for the both of them.

“She let out her actual personality and that’s why Kazuma took her down to my world, didn’t she?” Darkness and Megumin thought.

Aqua leaned closer, “What is it?”

Kazuma’s eyes vibrated as he struggled to comprehend. “[Tractor]?”

A loud rumble like Truck-kun going on an overpass played as a fade to white showed the scene that actually happened. A white and beige truck’s cargo trailer was shown in the distance. An old man in a wide brimmed khaki colored hat in gray and brown clothes, slowly driving his tractor.  The girl blissfully on her phone, confident that the old man knew what he was doing.

“Yes, it was a tractor.” Aqua narrated.

Another flash showed the old man and girl waving at each other.

Kazuma leaned even farther forward. “Huh? Then what happened? Did I die by getting plowed over by a tractor?”

“No, you died of shock.” Aqua explained.

“How did you die from surprise, when medical shock is just a faulty blood flow.” Tanya thought.

A camera shutter sound effect played as Kazuma was shown on the pavement. His eyes blank, mouth wide and drooling, arms flailed in imagined pain.

“You mistakenly thought a truck ran over you.” Aqua narrated.

Kazuma jerked back, impacting his chair. “I died of shock?!”

Aqua held a hand up to her lips as she held in her first laugh. She collapsed back into her chair, hands futilely gesturing Kazuma to stop. Only to give in and let out a belly-clenching laugh. A massive pure hearted grin on her face and her knees bouncing from the force of her laughter.

“Yep, there’s the Aqua we know.” Darkness and Megumin said, hanging their heads.

Ristarte let out a deep sigh. “Are Satoru and I the only good-hearted divinities in this room?”

Aqua curled tighter into her ball of shame, shuffling herself to avoid Naofumi’s glare.

“Her humbling has yet to take hold of her, perhaps we could have served that role.” Albedo and Demiurge thought.

“Ah, false gods.” the military records, save Tanya thought.

“Right, going to practice my anti-’divine’ techniques on her, then Weaver.” Tanya thought.

Kazuma's eyes almost rivaled his corpse’s eyes in how much they were dead inside and utterly appalled at Aqua.

“I’ve been doing this for a long time,” Aqua wiped away a tear of pure joy. “But you’re the first human to ever die in such a bizarre way.”

“Because it’s a physical impossibility.” Tanya said. “Medical Shock refers to blood not reaching vital organs. And while sleep deprivation is rarely fatal, the fatalities don’t manifest as that. 24 hours without sleep makes your hand eye coordination worse, impaired judgment and decision making, altered perception, and just because nature is a cruel mistress, tremors/spasms in your limbs!” Tanya glared at Kazuma. “So, by staying up that long, you actively got worse at the thing you were trying to do.”

“Oi, it seemed like it was a good idea at the time!” Kazuma defended his past self.

Ristarte frowned, remembering some stories of the medical field. “Yeah that's what they always say on why there is an eel or glass bottle up their ass.”

A beat that sounded like cards being shuffled played. Aqua bent over her armrest, closer to the red book and laughed into her hand some more.

“I’ve never even met this girl before. What’s her deal?” Kazuma the neet blissfully unaware of Customer Service Jobs.

Kazuma hunched into himself out of sheer anger. 

The old man, his presumed wife, and several police looking EMTs were looking at Kazuma’s passed out figure. His wet spot in the center of the camera’s view.

“You were so terrified that you’d be run over, you wet yourself.” Aqua explained through further laughter.

The hospital was shown with Kazuma’s ambulance in the drop off zone. 

“You passed out and were taken to a nearby hospital,” Aqua said. 

Four heads were barely visible through the fifth overhead light. The doctor in the upper left had a hand in front of their face, eyes closed like they were coughing. The nurse in the bottom left was doing the same at a different angle. The doctor in the bottom right was adjusting their glasses. The nurse in the upper right was the only one showing proper human compassion as demanded by their profession.

“And the doctors and nurses laughed at you as you had a heart attack-” Aqua said.

“You could have just said heart attack and medical malpractice.” Satoru suggested, rubbing his temples.

“And medical shock would just be a symptom of the heart attack, I suppose.” Beatrice said, also rubbing her temples.

Kazuma leaned fully back in his chair, covering his ears and futilely trying to kick away the bad news. “Stop! I don’t wanna hear it!”

Aqua got up and walked over as Kazuma repeated himself as futilely tried to shake the words out of his head. Aqua’s face slid next to Kazuma’s, hand held up to provide a conspiratorial shield. “Your family just rushed to the hospital, and now even they’re laughing out loud at the cause of death.”

“Oi.” Puck, the resident bad father, proclaimed his displeasure.

Megumin and Darkness, both being an older sister/cousin, frowned. Aqua curled even deeper into her ball of shame. Naofumi snapped his glare towards the screen.

“The hell!” Naofumi thought.

“Oi.” Albedo, the resident bad mother, proclaimed her displeasure. “Leave stuff for me to do.”

Ainz, the parent with no disciplinary bone in his body, merely breathed a deep sigh of disappointment into his hands. “This right here is what I am trying to avoid with my tomb.”

The rest of the room merely sat in disgusted silence.

Kazuma became a bobblehead out of sheer not wanting to know. “Stop! Stop!”

“Well…” Aqua flicked her hair and her Hagamoro dissolved into bubbles. “I’ve vented enough stress for now.”

Kazuma made a teary eyed angry face. “Damn her!”

The music started tinkling and the soft choir resumed. 

“My name is Aqua.” the goddess finally introduced herself. “I’m a goddess who guides humans who die young to the afterlife.”

Kazuma attentively listened but was still marred by her asshole tendencies.

“You have two choices.” Aqua explained. “You can start from square one with a new life, or you can go to heaven and carry on like an old man.” Aqua’s boobs bounced as she bent over and raised her conspiratorial hand shield once more. “To tell you the truth, Heaven isn’t the dreamy place you all imagine it to be.” She said shyly looking around like she would be punished for speaking out.

“Huh?” Kazuma asked around Aqua’s pantyless booty.

“Not only is there no TV, there are no manga or games, either.” Aqua explained. “You don’t even have a physical body,” the camera left the booty shot to focus on Aqua’s mouth. “So you can’t do anything sexual, either.”

Kazuma, being a sexual person, had his face scarred with shock and disappointment, maybe even a hint of despair. The camera also felt despair and reverted to the previous booty angle.

“There’s nothing to do there but bask in the sun for all of eternity.” Aqua explained.

“What?” Kazuma voiced his displeasure.

Aqua got up in Kazuma’s face and did a miniature nod. “Yeah, you don’t want to go to a boring place like Heaven, do you?”

Kazuma, having fully converted into a neet and having his personal space breached, looked away and blushed. “Uh, right…”

Aqua got even closer to Kazuma’s face, providing ship fuel. “On the other hand, starting over from square one isn’t so fun, either.” Now their noses were roughly a centimeter apart. “On that note, I’ve got a great offer for you.” Aqua leaned back slightly, “You like games, don’t you?”

“Huh?” The sheer confusing mess that was Aqua made Kazuma forget about the Isekai Craze.

Aqua stood up to her full height, placed a hand over her heart, and stretched out her other arm to the max. Dramatic/talk show piano music played.

“That world, which has long enjoyed peace,” Kazuma raised an eyebrow at Aqua’s display.

Megumin and Darkness snorted.

“That was true roughly 700 years ago.” Megumin explained to the room. “Before our current Demon King was born and gained access to the Demon King Class.”

“Ah, so not a single terrible dynasty.” Zettour said, sighing as he comprehended the problem.

Megumin nodded. “Indeed the previous dynasty was founded by a fallen hero, so it's not even limited to the infernal races.”

The others winced as containment before neutralization just got harder.

“Would Flugel’s bones be able to contain the class, like they could for the Sloth Authority?” Beatrice thought to herself. “Or another world’s Flugel?”

“And why hasn’t that world experienced an industrial revolution and thus have easy access to an equalizer such as guns?” Ristarte smiled with sharp edges. “It's not because of your Heaven suppressing the knowledge needed for that, is it?”

Aqua turned to her with a supremely offended face. “The Mobile Fortress Destroyer pushed back the tech level. So there was an era of post industrialization, but sadly the Destroyer is one of, if not the only, piece of tech that still exists from that era.”

“So yes, you did by proxy.” the rest of the room thought.

“Wouldn’t there be a non-magical damage limit?” Shalltear asked, finger on her chin.

Shalltear’s lamprey form was shown riddled with arrows and various other weaponry, but was undamaged.“Oh, fuck you!” Visha said. “Why do you follow that logic?”

“Do it yourself, you coward.” Shalltear smugly replied while looking into Visha’s eyes.

“Eh, the Demon King does have a version of that, but it's weaker and we don’t have a convenient way of mass producing explosives.” Darkness said looking down to her left hip remembering her father’s lessons. 

“Hm, would Dynamite and/or Napalm work on him?” Satoru asked, the nagging concern of technology outpacing magic reared its head.

“I think so, but again no way to manufacture those in sufficient quantities.” Aqua frowned and crossed her arms as she remembered her metaphysic lessons.

“As for the logic I was talking about, it means she can only be harmed by sufficiently magical things like silver or healing potions.” Vishia explained.

Use guns to explain the Skill Floor and Great Filter ideas. Tanya wrote in her notebook.

“Is being threatened by the Demon King’s Army.” Aqua continued. 

The camera zoomed into Aqua’s face, tilted upwards to give an imperialist/gracious air to Aqua. “The livelihoods its citizens have worked for are being trampled by monsters.”

Aqua pivoted in place, moving her arms and putting on a despairing air. With a click an angelic stage light turned on and bathed Aqua in its glow, who was praising the sun with her arms in an upwards Y. “Everyone lives in fear of the Demon King’s Army’s merciless pillage and slaughter!”

Aqua’s hair jiggled and mimicked a dog’s tail wagging. “...Slaughter!

Kazuma gulped in nervousness. Aqua held her pose and smiled for another few seconds before dropping them to lean closer to Kazuma once more.

“Since that’s the sort of world it is, everyone is refusing to be reborn, so the population is declining because of infertility.” Aqua explained.

“If you can not grow new souls in mass. My world has literal piles of dead orphans that I had to go past to get to work. And said piles were new every week, if not every day.” Satoru wrote in his notebook to remind himself to offer Aqua.

“I see…” Kazuma lied about his comprehension.

Aqua had a cute angle pose before turning sideways and shrugging. “So we decided, [Why not send people who’ve died in other worlds with their bodies and memories intact?]-”

“That’s resurrection, not reincarnation.” Tanya was visibly trying to control her anger.

Aqua looked Tanya in the eyes and merely said, “Zen Buddhism.”

Tanya’s argument hitched and collapsed out of existence, causing a physical hiccup.

“Zen Buddhism is the second major religion of Japan and was primarily worshiped by the Samurai. It had a cycle of reincarnation, as in reborn in an infant body after dying, that you progressed in called Samsara. After so many lives full of dedication, you were supposed to reach Nirvana, Buddhism’s version of Aqua’s Heaven. But in Samsara you grow stronger with each life judged by how much you have achieved enlightenment.” Subaru explained once he realized that Tanya wouldn’t.

“Ah, so that's why you praised their timing. The Buddha is that religion’s god?” Ram asked, remembering his praise of the Buddha as she slipped into slumber when they were retrieving her foolish twin.

“Eh, yes and no, because if you reach sufficient enlightenment you can become your own Buddha and/or fuse with the Original Buddha.” Subaru explained, wiggling his left hand. “That and everything and everyone including the Buddha are all illusions, thus you want to break free by embracing nothingness and being true to yourself. At least that was in Zen Buddhism, in more Orthodox/the Original Denomination of Buddhism, Nirvana was simply the best afterlife (which functioned as rest stops in the cycle of reincarnation) that you could unlock.”

Ram slowly rubbed her temples. “If everything is an illusion, then nothing is.”

“Mostly it’s an existentialism thing but over all, Zen buddhism making sense died with the samurai at Shiroshima.” Tanya shrugged. “As for why I know the difference now, resurrection is one of the main tenets of Christianity, whose focal point of worship is Europe.”

“Ah, the wonders of sectoral differences.” Lergen said.

Ram and Cocytus scribbled in: Buddhism and it’s sects.

“What’s the point in sending me there if I’m just going to be killed?” Kazuma asked, visibly unsure.

“That’s why I’m doing you a big favor.” Aqua said from off screen.

A soft beat played as Aqua was shown once more with a hand gently raised. 

“I’m granting you the right to bring any one thing of your choosing with you.” Aqua doomed herself to roughly a year and a half of struggle. Aqua crossed her arms and winked. “It could be a powerful weapon, or a tremendous talent.”

The two of them were shown from Kazuma’s book of the dead’s perspective.

“You’ll be able to redo your life with all your original memories.” Aqua said, raising her opposite hand and bobbling slightly towards Kazuma. “To top it off, you can bring one thing of your choosing!”

The camera slightly zoomed in as the world connecting portal swirled open behind Kazuma. 

“And the people of the parallel will earn someone battle-ready to help them.” Aqua said. “Not a bad deal, don’t you think?”

Crystalline chimes played as Kazuma closed his hands.

“Um, I want to ask something.” Kazuma said. 

Aqua was shown in a neutral but attentive pose.

“Will I be able to speak this other world’s language?” Kazuma asked.

A kazoo-like thing or synth something played as Aqua pulled up a booklet out of thin air.

“That won’t be an issue.” Aqua said.

We were shown the insides of the book, specifically a page titled Parallel World Reincarnation Guide and Contract. With the subtitle being: The First Ever Parallel World Guide! (For Shut-ins). Unhelpfully the book was mostly untranslated. Though there was an infographic of a soul either going to Heaven or becoming a hero after being run over.

Tanya sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose.

Kazuma was shown hesitantly reading the book with Aqua guiding his vision. Aqua’s eyes were cut off by the letterboxing,  putting her in a sultry and sinister light.

“With the kind support of us gods,” Aqua said. “We’ll overload your brain so you’ll be able to learn it instantly.”

Kazuma’s eyes widened as he heard that and found the fine print section. Said fine print being: Caution! Because the process of installing the ability to speak the parallel world’s language into the one who wishes to be reincarnated there (henceforth referred to as “Reincarnated”) requires instantaneous overloading of the hippocampus and cerebral cortex (henceforth referred to as “Brain”), Reincarnated’s Brain may, in rare cases, lose certain faculties (go “p**f”). Should this occur, according to Article 1296 Clauses 2 and 5 and Article 2051 Clause 3, Reincarnated may not hold those responsible for his reincarnation accountable.

The room just stared at Aqua.

“We do heal the injured.” Aqua defended herself, curling up slightly.

“Sheesh, I thought my Unified Divine Realm had the legalese.” Ristarte muttered.

“Why not an auto-translation effect?” Satoru asked with a finger raised.

“We do not have a god of languages.” Aqua said. “It was either this or having the Reincarnated unable to communicate at all. Unless we went with the actual reincarnation thing, but then the primary objective of the battle-ready unit is completely negated.”

Satoru sighed and lowered his finger.

“Teacher, what was the plan if Subaru couldn’t speak our language?” Roswaal thought, smiled sharp and eyes closed.

“As a side effect,” Aqua said as she used a hand to cover the fine print. “You might just go “poof” if you’re unlucky though.”

Tanya glared at Aqua. “I can see why your superiors kicked you out of Heaven.”

Kazuma was glaring at the fine print through Aqua’s hands.

“So all that leaves you to do is to choose a powerful ability or piece of equipment.” Aqua’s Customer Service Smile was back in full force. 

Kazuma dragged his glare to meet Aqua’s closed eyes as the instrument stopped. “I just heard you mention something really serious. What do you mean, [poof]?”

Audio-visual sparkles radiated from Aqua’s Customer Service Smile. “I never said that.”

“Yes, you did.” Kazuma said as the sparkles faded.

Trumpets played as Aqua twirled in the air with a stupid amount of sparkles forming wings.

“Now, choose!” Aqua commanded as she bent over backwards.

Sheets of paper fell down around her. A sword with stony protrusions from its back edge was shown on a descriptive pamphlet, two shadowy-swords show that it was a weapon-type gift. The name of the sword was untranslated and its description was too small to read.

“I’ll grant you one power that is second to none!” Aqua said with the stone sword covering her shoulder.

A lizard-like beast flew in front of Aqua’s face, the ambient sparkles made the lizard appear to have glowing eyes. A different curved sword with a dragonic (?) head and sharp rocky scales served as the transition. Both of which were on pamphlets.

Kazuma looked around at the options he had on his hands and knees.

“Ah, good ol’ decision paralysis.” Satoru nodded in commencernation. 

“This is my gamer’s intuition talking,” Kazuma thought. “But all of the abilities and equipment here are totally broken!”

“They do not look like they are unusable.” Emilia asked with her head tilted.

“Broken in this instance of gaming terms, means something ‘unfairly’ powerful.” Kazuma said, with his right index finger raised. “Some examples are: DND Divine Spellcasters being able to swap all of their known spells to any other spell their Patron knows with a 6-8 hour sleep. Thus they can adapt to any type of enemy and environment. Another is putting a ranged character who uses her allies HP pool count in her line to deal direct damage to the enemy player behind a melee character who deals Area of Effect Damage on attack, gains an additional attack per turn, and increases his max hp pool per enemy he kills.”

The room hummed.

“So Reinhard.” The Re zero cast except Subaru thought.

“Well, it’s a good thing and a shame that our Divine Spellcasters can’t do that.” The Overlord Cast thought.

Soft chimes played as Kazuma picked up one sheet and gazed at another.

“If I’m going to a world where magic exists, I absolutely have to try it out!” Kazuma thought. 

Kazuma picked up the second sheet and started comparing them. 

Satoru opened his mental mouth to ask about the details-

Aqua’s seductive lips tore a potato chip in half, the camera zoomed out from the vore-fuel to show Aqua completely bored.

“Hey, hurry it up.” Aqua said with half of the broken chip wiggling.

Soft percussion instruments played, giving a jovial country music vibe

“Allow him time to formulate his thoughts.” Satoru said, rubbing the bridge of his absent nose.

“No matter what you pick, it’s all the same.” Aqua said. “Nobody’s expecting much from a shut-in game otaku anyways.”

Kazuma squeaked/squealed like a more feral ape. “I-I’m not an otaku!”

Kazuma tossed the papers away, bowing down to his hands and knees. “And I died after leaving my house, so I’m not a shut-in, either!”

Repeating his movement several times, blowing away some of the papers.

Aqua licked her fingers, getting any non-visible chip dust off. Aqua looked completely bone tired as she played with her hair using only her index finger.

“None of that matters. Just hurry it up.” Aqua said. “I’ve still got lots more deceased humans to guide, you know.”

“And this is why you have more than one Judge of the Dead.” Ristarte said, rubbing her head. “Either that or time dilation and/or super speed.”

“For reference, on earth alone 106 humans die per minute and 6,392 per hour.” Aqua said. “While I am only in charge of Japan’s region and even then only their NEETs, that still is an unacceptable delay to my bosses. That is with the time dilation already applied.”

The room hummed.

“Damn her!” Kazuma thought.

Aqua still looked distinctly unimpressed. Kazuma meanwhile had sweat pooling on his face and wrinkles on the bridge of his nose.

“Getting all cocky just because she’s a little bit cute…” Kazuma thought.

Aqua merely had a smug smile at the confirmation of her thoughts.

Kazuma on his fists and knees sounded like a gorilla as he breathed heavily, overpowering the faint chimes. His eyes were shadowed as he plotted.

“[Hurry up and decide], huh?” Kazuma asked. “I’ll do just that, then.”

Kazuma stood up. “Pick one thing to bring to this parallel world, right?”

Kazuma stumbled under the weight of what he was about to do.

Aqua, slightly interested in where he was going, paused her eating of the chips. “That’s right.”

Before eating the chip in her hand anyways.

Kazuma’s hand was shown, the end of the track suit bright against the dramatically black room. It pointed straight forward.

“Okay, I pick you.” Kazuma said.

“Okay, In hindsight I should have seen that coming.” Aqua said.

Shalltear giggled, causing a slight ripple across the room.

“I mean my Heaven gave out monster summoning abilities before, so why not an entire goddess?” Aqua shrugged. “Especially one that was insulting to a sleep deprived and delirious boy.”

Aqua blinked, utterly adorable with the potato chip in her mouth. And utterly not comprehending what Kazuma said. The chimes returned as Aqua pushed in the chip and chewed. A loud horn played as the portal manifested beneath Kazuma’s feet. Aqua kicked her feet as she stood up.

“All right, stand there and don’t leave the magic circle-” Aqua was mostly out of her chair. 

“What did you just say?” Aqua’s eyes widened.

The sound of an offscreen door opening echoed through the weird chime-heavy limbo. Aqua looked up to the forming magic circle above her. An Angel Woman descended out of the summoning circle. Flaunting her curves and a soft twinkling melody played.

“Where’s the metal?” Shalltear asked. “Angels should be metallic, except Victim.”

“Ah.” Zettour said, hand in palm. “They split the difference.”

On the left side were the biblical angels in all their eldritch beauty. On the right were the pretty boys and girls of the renaissance era, most of them had pastel colored wings in the stained glass depictions. Though notably on the bottom ring of the left side were normal human looking angels. The bottom was pushed up to reveal Yggdrasil’s Angels.

Kazuma coughed at the sight of the ‘biblically’ accurate angels. “Wait, Kirby, Bayonetta, Final Fantasy 7,and Neon Genesis Evangelion are accurate?! I thought NGE was just the stylization of Christianity spread like butter on toast over aliens.”

The non-Military Records crew just sat there for a few seconds comprehending Yahweh’s Angels.

“Yep, that’s definitely splitting the difference.” Filo said, nodding with a closed eye smile.

“So, if one wants to use angels, they would have to try really hard not to lean on Abrahamic Literature.” Demiurge said, his tail curled around his waist and its tip twitched in his lap.

Zettour nodded.

“Ah, this is where you tell the ‘Heroes’ about the Demon King’s Aura thing.” Kazuma said, left hand holding his forehead.

Aqua nodded.

Kazuma rubbed the bridge of his nose.

“We have heard your request.” Said the angel with wings at full spread and golden sparks falling in a shower around her. “I shall take over your job from here on out, Aqua-sama.”

“She’ll do a better job than you, not insulting the faux-customer.” Tanya said. [0]

Kazuma joined the chorus of Oohs as the golden shower faded.

“Huh?” Aqua adorably squeaked.

Another Isekai Magic Circle blossomed underneath Aqua. 

“Satou Kazuma-san’s Wish complies with the regulations and has been accepted.” the Angel landed.

The magic circles spun, flared into blue light and made energy tunnels leading upwards. 

Aqua glanced down at the circle. “Hey, what is this? Wh-What? You’ve got to be kidding.”

Kazuma looked at Aqua.

Aqua closed her eyes and tried to wave away the magic circle. “No, no, no! Come on, um…”

“This is not right!” Aqua threw her arms back, lost her pupils, and did the second instance of Aqua crying meme. “Taking a goddess with you is against the rules!”

Aqua pressed against the magic, squishing like a sea creature in an aquarium’s glass wall. 

“It must be illegal!” Aqua pressed her face against the magic-glass. “This has to be illegal!”

“Oh, come on. It’s only the human world, you’ll be fine.” Naofumi said, eyes rolled before they settled into a glare.

Subaru and Shalltear coughed.

“You should be fine.” Naofumi corrected himself.

“Wait!” Aqua banged on the magic. “Wait!”

“Please have a safe trip, Aqua-sama.” The angel said. “Should you successfully defeat the Demon King, I will send someone to pick you up.”The angel smiled with her eyes closed. Aqua, with her eyes back to normal, dropped her hands to her hips.

“I may have the ability to heal since I'm a goddess,” Aqua said, placing her hands on her chest. “But I have no fighting ability to speak of! There’s no way I can beat the Demon King!”

Aqua gripped her head in exasperation before she was lifted off her feet.

“Hey, wait!” Aqua cried out as she looked to the ground growing distant. 

Kazuma chuckled over Aqua’s booty.

“How does it feel to get dragged away with the guy you treated like a total idiot?” Kazuma asked.

Kazuma with his hair in hentai protag mode chucked once more. His hair parted to reveal one eye as he pointed at Aqua.

“You’ve been designated as the one thing I’ll be bringing along,” Kazuma said, hands moving into a megalovania posture. “So if you’re a goddess, use your godly powers or whatever to make my life as easy as possible!”

“You know, a lot of things make sense if you are following what Kazuma asked of you, however subconsciously.” Darkness rubbed her chin.

Aqua, Kazuma, and Megumin raised an objection finger before going over their memories and hung their heads.

“No!” Aqua cried and hugged herself. “I don’t want to go to a parallel world with a man like this!”

Aqua cried once more causing Kazuma to laugh in mock-sadistic glee. The angel’s wings extended, casting off cosmetic feathers.

“Brave hero, I pray that of the great many prospective heroes,” the angel said with extended arms and her feathers falling down around her. “You will be the one to defeat the demon king.”

The angel’s skirt flapped in the wind, revealing that she too had no panties. Nor genitalia, if she did it was hidden by a light beam.

“If you do so, we shall grant any wish you desire as a gift from the gods.” the angel revealed.

“Whoa, for real?!” Kazuma jerked in his beam.

“Wow, an actual reward.” Naofumi smirked. “How lucky for you.”

“We. Are. Not. Parasites!” Aqua wiggled in her seat. “We’re symbiotes, close yes. But not the same.”

Aqua leaned forward enough that her head completely obscured Kazuma.

“That’s my line!” Aqua cried.

“Now, go forth on your journey!” The angel ignored her superior.

The blackness at the end of the tunnel instantly shattered into blue squares, blue and green circles, and a white light at the center. The angelic choir resumed as Kazuma laughed as he was vacuumed into the light. Aqua’s despair-ridden face flew in from behind the camera.

“No!” Aqua shouted. 

Which caused Kazuma to sadistically laugh again. Everything dissolved into a screen of white before the blue sky and fluffy clouds were shown. One of the Angel’s feathers floated down from the sky. Said feather gently landed on a shallow stream of water, which caused small ripples above the pebbles on the crook’s bottom. Horns played as the camera zoomed out to show a woman in a purple witch/wizard outfit and a green shirted man crossing a cobblestone bridge.

By the bridge was a low-detailed fisherman whose line glinted in the sunlight. A man’s laughter echoed from somewhere as the camera changed to a wagon pulling away. Which revealed Kazuma and Aqua fully intact and mature. Aqua hung her head and hands in front of her thighs. Kazuma stood beside her in a confident but neutral pose with his fists on either side of his hips.

Belzerg: Axel, The Town of Beginners, appeared before them in a blue text box above their heads. With a bit-style sound effect chime and a swirling symbol around the Otherworld’s characters for Axel.

Tanya narrowed her eyes. “Hm, depending on how you write that. The name Belzerg could be read as Berserk.”

“We are not backwards hillbillies!” Darkness reflexly defended her nation. “We are basically the only reason why the world hasn’t been conquered yet, especially because we are the only nation whose borders are touching the Demon King’s borders. Our two Great Noble Houses have been assimilating power for countless Demon Kings, if they only manage to kill Generals and not the Demon King themselves. The Dustines Family assimilated the defensive abilities and the Sinfonia Family assimilated the offensive abilities. Thus they are called the House of the Shield and the House of the Sword respectively.”

“Ah, so their version of the Slane Theocracy is actually doing their jobs.” The Overlord cast thought. “Lucky for that humanity.”

“Thus, if I am following your logic correctly, then those who actually slay a Demon King are assimilated into the Royal Family.” Filo said. “They were the ones you were talking about during the power level discussion.”

Darkness nodded. “That and I can’t hit anything, so I can’t ‘grind’ for Kazuma.”

“Hm, I guess I should count Jaldbaoth lucky that Rampossa didn’t have the Belzerg-style of strength,” Demiurge thought. “What is a demon to a king? Especially considering there is a precedent with the Legemon. I might have needed to break out my true strength, or just have one of my Evil Lords take place in the physical battles.”

“So not hyperbole of the Warmaster,” Seiya thought. “How lucky for that world, to not have only one hero capable of saving them.”

“I might actually respect Trash if he could ‘put me in my place’, but that chance has passed.” Naofumi thought. “Especially if he doesn’t use that strength against the Waves.”

Kazuma blinked when Darkness nodded and turned to Aqua with a sharp smile. “I pulled you down before you could say that, I'm guessing?”

The town’s background muttering resumed, as we zoomed into Kazuma’s face. Who took a deep breath and blinked, before the camera turned to show a street.

“It’s a parallel world.” Kazuma narrated.

A girl in a sun hat and red dress was shown chasing two ducks/white birds past two gossiping women and two men bargaining over fruit prices.

“Wait, you have children?” Satoru asked.

“Yes, hence why it's difficult to motivate the others into fighting the Demon King.” Aqua said, hands folded in her lap. “If the Demon King projected a massive field where kids aren’t born at all, It would make my job stupidly harder yet paradoxically extremely easy.”

“Well, I’m glad that the demon king can’t do that.” The rest of the room generally thought. “Nor is he just removing the reproductive organs all together.”

“Hey, this really is a parallel world!” Kazuma continued to narrate over the girl’s misfortune.

The two pairs of adults turned their heads as the girl and her birds exited stage right. A blacksmith, his wife, and two kids who were playing a game with a stick were shown. Two women close to a barn and thus fuzzy were in the background chatting.

“W-Wait, I’m really going to be using magic.” Kazuma said.

A group of adventurers appeared, at the very left was a dark elf man dressed with armored plates and a green tunic. Next to him was a human woman in a black/beige horned helmet, beige pauldrons and boobplate. With a red and white leotard, her sleeves were black with red gloves and elbow bands. Which held beige arm plates over her elbows. Her legs were the same, save for the fact that her legging only came up to her mid thighs.

A huge sword hung off her hip, which was underneath the woman’s extended hand. The wizard in purple robes and a black bodysuit with a navel window stood next to her. Their blue-tinted white hair was underneath a purple hat. The wizard’s tiny glasses did not prevent the wizard’s obvious attention from showing. Behind the wizard was a man who similarly exposed his guts with a black and red jacket. A thick brown belt with a red and gray loin cloth over green paths completed his ensemble.

A pair of two adventures had passed in front of the five, with the second woman in red obscuring a woman in green. The red thief-like woman left revealing that the green woman had brown hair and wore a two-tone purple bodysuit.

“Why is there an Elf?” Megumin asked. “Axel hasn’t had one in decades, mostly because the Elves and other such races have their own training spots. Hence why they just skip to the front lines.”

“If they even send help at all.” Aqua, Darkness, and Megumin thought. [1]

“Elves are basically a synonym for fantasy back on earth.” Kazuma said. “Same with Dwarves, Dragons, Demons, Angels, Gods, and Giants.”

The others hummed.

“And going on adventures in this world from now on?” Kazuma asked himself, smiling in glee.

Cheerful notes played over Aqua’s gasping.

“Goodbye, shut-in life!” Kazuma assumed an assertive stance. 

“So what happened to not being a hermit?” Beatrice asked. “Or was that just a deflective denial, I suppose?”

Kazuma hung his head. “It was the latter.”

“Hello, new world!” Kazuma praised the sun for a brief moment.

Kazuma let his arms down before raising his right fist in a confident stance. “I can really start anew in this world!”

Aqua gasped before she weeped as she rubbed her head with both of her hands. Kazuma glared at her out of the corner of his eyes. He turned his head to properly stare at her in dismay.

“Hey, shut up.” Kazuma demanded.

Carnival-like notes played as Aqua clawed at her bangs that hung in front of her face.

“What am I going to do if everyone thinks I’m friends with a crazy woman?” Kazuma asked.

“More importantly, isn’t there something you’re supposed to give me at a time like this?” Kazuma asked.

“I do believe the opportunity to gain items has passed.” Satoru said, sarcasm audible.

The others nodded as Kazuma blushed.

Kazuma raised his hands to point at himself, a smug smile on his face. Aqua’s weeps had faded into near inaudibility. 

“Look at what I'm wearing. I’m in a tracksuit.” Kazuma complained.

Kazuma pointed his hands to the sides, closed his eyes, and still had the smug smile.

“Here I am in a fantasy world, and all I have is a single tracksuit.” Kazuma complained.

“And a literal goddess.” Subaru said.

Kazuma’s blush intensified as he sank into his chair.

Kazuma opened his eyes and let his hands fall down to his hips.

“Isn’t there a bare minimum of starter equipment I should-” Kazuma was interrupted by Aqua grabbing his collar.

Kazuma, for a single frame, had his eyes shrink as Aqua shook the annoying boy. The camera however chose to focus on Aqua’s weeping face, her open mouth had a cute flesh fang. Aqua, and by extension the offscreen Kazuma, rocked back and forth for a few seconds. Then with a bit-like sound effect a pause screen appeared over Aqua’s face. Underneath the giant English letters of PAUSE bracketed by hyphens, was a smaller English sentence of Press Start Button.

This pause screen continued for a few seconds as even the music stopped.

“Ah, I wish I could just do that and take a few moments to gather my thoughts.” Subaru thought.

A different bit-type note played as the video resumed with Aqua breathing in. The two of them were shown between a mother with her son and a man looking at the last two people to be Isekai’d from Aqua’s Heaven.

“Wh-What the heck?! Stop! Stop it!” Kazuma pleaded with Aqua.

The mother turned around with a face of dismay as she pulled her shocked son away from the first feud of the pseudo-couple.

“I get it, okay?! I’m sorry!” Kazuma said.

Kazuma placed his hands on Aqua’s shoulders, which stopped her from rocking his world any further. …for now.

“If you hate it that much, then you can go home.” Kazuma said.

Kazuma pushed the goddess away, hung his left arm behind his hip, and readjusted his collar with his right arm.

“I’ll figure out the rest on my own.” Kazuma said.

“What are you talking about?” Aqua threw her arms back, causing her to adopt an arrow-like pose. “I’m in trouble because I can’t go back.”

Aqua folded her hands in front of her chest. “What do I do? Huh? What am I gonna do?”

“If you can’t go back because you are currently classified as [Kazuma’s Item], then the most logical course of action is securing money.” Zettour said. “Healing is, was, and will continue to be a dependable source of income for those capable. Construction is also a thing, so too with mercenary work.”

“We went with construction.” Aqua answered.

The others hummed

Aqua’s hands fell to her sides as she wept once more.

“What am I supposed to do from now on?” The Goddess of Tears cried.

Kazuma’s low detailed and nonchalant look was wasted on the crying goddess. With a speed streak-like sound effect Kazuma raised a hand to gain Aqua’s attention.

“Hey, calm down, Goddess.” Kazuma commanded as he lowered his hand once more. “Times like these call for guilds.”

Kazuma placed a hand on his chin. “Going to places like that to gather intel is what you do in RPGs.”

Aqua leaned back in subdued surprise as Kazuma pronounced the entire words of the RPG acronym.

“Huh? You’re supposed to be some game otaku shut-in.” Aqua asked. “Why are you so reliable?”

“Someone has to pick up your slack.” Puck said.

Aqua joined her pseudo-spouse in the blush and chair sinkage departments.

Kazuma ignored her comments as he turned away.

“All right! Let’s go, Goddess.” Kazuma said.

“Hey, wait.” Aqua’s train of thought had drowned already.

An electric string instrument played as Aqua’s ass overtook the camera once more.

“Why this camera angle again?” Albedo asked, fists slightly curled.

“This is my role, not yours!” Albedo thought.

“I am the closest thing my pantheon has to a Romantic Love Goddess, and as you can heard by the declining birthrate problem, I am a terrible one.” Aqua said. “Can’t even be a proper Lust/Fertility Goddess.”

Aqua scribbled into her notebook: Teach Subaru Escape Artistry, Parkour, and Breakdancing.

“I really hope that the sexual stuff gets toned down in the next episodes.” The protags except Kazuma thought.

“You can call me “Goddess” if you like,” Aqua narrated over her hipsway. “But when you can, call me “Aqua”, so we don’t cause a commotion.”

“I have the slightest suspicion that being undetected has already passed.” Shalltear said with lidded eyes.

“I get it.” Kazuma said, the camera changed to the back of his head. “If you’re a goddess, wouldn’t you know where we can find an adventurer’s guild.”

Aqua blinked as Kazuma turned his head to stare her in the eyes.

“I’m a goddess.” Aqua said. “There’s no way I’d know about every little lowly place like that.”

Aqua blushed. 

Aqua leaned her head, which caused her hair to wiggle as she saw Kazuma’s disappointed and disgusted face. 

“This girl’s useless.” Kazuma thought.

“Useless as in actually useless, or uselessly like Subaru?” Ram asked with lidded eyes and crossed arms.

Kazuma, Darkness, and Megumin raised a finger and opened their mouths to defend their viewpoint. Before they closed their mouths and lowered their fingers as they remembered how Aqua played her parts.

“Useless like Subaru.” Aqua answered for them.

Ram saw Subaru blush and tried to fold into himself. However he was stopped by Emilia, what caught the passive half of the Oni God’s attention was the faint glimmer of disbelief.

“Do I never compliment him at all?” Ram thought. “Not even backhanded ones?”

Ram hid her glance to her aggressive twin.

“I really hope that he never committed self harm, or far worse suicide, from my barbs.  Ram clutched her elbows. “They would be the final coin in the pouch if my little sister actually followed through on her impulses.”

Ram took a quiet breath through her nose. “No, Subaru said that he was only questioned by Rem. So, she must have restrained herself. It's a waste of energy and time to ponder such depressing possibilities that never would and/or did happen. He does not act like he is, or ever was, afraid of us. …which her impulses would definitely make him.”

The screen shifted to show Axel from above. Right above the town was a large forest, where the Tranquility Queen resides. Smaller sections of woodland surrounded the town, only broken up by green fields. The light brown rooftops that formed human civilization had claimed 97% of the protected lands inside the massive wall. A few bits of the remaining kand were fields or lawns, most of the rest were small pockets of trees. But the largest non-human feature of the town was the river that curved in the middle, which formed a spoon or a bowl.

“Thank you for your business.” a merchant said while he handed a large slab of meat to a mother.

The mother’s youngest was safely strapped to her back and blissfully asleep. She had four other kinds besides her of indeterminate age. The second youngest, and the closest to the mother’s purple-like skirt was a girl with her hair tied into twin tails. The presumed third youngest had a green shirt on and an index finger on his lower lip, eyes firmly glued to the Capital A Anime Stick of Meat.

The child with the largest head merely had eyes for their mother. While the child right in front of the vase, which was presumably for water storage, had his arms behind his head. A purple scarf/collar over his cyan shirt. This boy’s eyes merely had attention for his youngest sibling or the comically small shopping basket his mother had.

“No, you’re not going to derail this by going into how purple dye was so expensive that it became a synonym for royalty.” Tanya thought as she rubbed her temples. “Nor will you do the same for the other dyes that should have been impossible for that era’s tech level. Excluding magic. What’s next, this world’s female underwear industry has access to modern elastics and/or a substitute, thus the girls would be wearing stuff that is closer to 20th and 21st century panties than the historically accurate Braies which were more like shorts that fell down to the mid thigh.” 

Megumin crossed her legs as she felt a phantom draft.

“Thank you.” The mother said as she smacked her infant with the Stick of Meat. “Up we go…”

The infant thankfully was too asleep to cry out in shock or pain.

Kazuma and Aqua appeared before a large building, which had an announcement tower in the back. Above the front door sat a bird-like symbol. On their left was a green pillar and on their right was a purple pillar. Behind them were more merchant stalls and their customers. Another 8-bit style ding played as a brown bar extended itself across the screen, above it stood the label Adventurer’s guild.

From the perspective of the door, both the human and goddess had silly looking faces.

“Looks like this is the place.” Kazuma said.

Something went bang the camera which startled a hiccup out of Aqua. 

“Scary!” Aqua said as they climbed the stairs.

The door swung open off screen as the camera decided to show the …emblem of Belzerg (or the Adventurer's guild) over the doorway, at a tilt. Either way, the upper part of the emblem had a bird with its wings fully unfurled, two V sections connected the wings to the main body of the bird. Which fanned out to an upside-down omega symbol for the tail.

“Welcome!” A blonde barmaid said as she twirled towards the door with 4 fuzzy Nereoid Drinks in her hand. “If you’re here to eat, please take any open seat.”

The camera showed Kazuma and Aqua unprepared for the level of prep in the barmaid’s voice.

“If you need job guidance, head to the counter inside.” the barmaid continued reading off her mental script.

The barmaid turned and walked off the right side of the screen. Aqua merely stared at the bubbly while Kazuma raised his hand.

“Thank you.” Kazuma obligately followed his own mental script for social interaction at a public place. 

The camera turned to see …indoor lamp posts. A sign or plinth that had no writing at all but three pink circles, eight yellow pyramids arranged into two pyramid shapes, and two pink dots in two pyramid shapes. 

Two men in dark colored clothing tapped their drinks together, their tablemate hunched over his food. Seems like they had some sort of bird, while the bearded yet bald man had the addition of cake. A red haired barmaid carried more food past the three men. Behind the drinks was an oak-like load-bearing pillar with dark red and dark green ribbons wrapped around it. The original barmaid walked past the table in her pinkish heels.

She stepped aside to reveal a man in plate armor looking up at a woman in a sports bra and battle panties. More potted plants broke up the monotony of the tavern.

Tanya mentally groaned at the sight of the battle panties and the elastic industry that it eluded to.

On one of the ribbon clad support pillars hung a dragon(?)’s skeleton. Around a horizontal support pillar was a wheel that might have served as a clock, if it rotated. The entire tavern was shown from the back, which revealed the statue of a hero, presumably one of the Belzerg Royalty and/or the dragon slayer underneath the skeleton. Another one of those odd plinths was on the opposite side of the statue’s feet.

Closest to the camera were a red head female mage talking to her melee party member. On the sides of the ceiling were banners detailing either the Mobile Fortress Destroyer or the founding of Belzerg. Above the Adventurer’s Info Desk had the statue bust of a Lizard Runner. In front of Kazuma and Aqua (behind them from this camera view) was the Barbarian Shopkeep that was only made canon in the Dust Spinoff Novels.

Kazuma hummed as he took in the atmosphere with a smirk on his face.

“Hey!” The barbarian called. “Haven’t seen you around here before.”

“You really wouldn’t have, and if you did. I would be concerned for you.” Subaru said.

Aqua squeaked as her pinprick eyes saw the bearded barbarian’s gaze. Kazuma, still in his sleep deprived apathetic mood, had no reaction. Said barbarian raised a finger to point at them.

“And what’s with the weird clothes?” The barbarian asked

“Oh,” Kazuma walked up to the barbarian. “We’ve actually come a long way, and we just got into town.”

Kazuma placed an assertive hand onto the table and his other hand on his hip. His eyes closed as he paused for one dramatic second.

“I want to become an adventurer to fight the Demon King’s Army, too.” Kazuma opened his eyes and relied on his Protagonist CharismaTM.

The barbarian breathed through his nose before he closed his eyes.

“Is that right, you reckless punk?” the barbarian said.

The barbarian twirled around and adopted the Crazy Eyes Pose (the one where an eye is normal sized and the other is widened).

“Welcome to the gates of Hell!” The barbarian said before he hooked a thumb over his shoulder. “If you’re lookin’ for the guild admission desk, it’s over there.”

Thus Kazuma and Aqua walked past the statue of the Founder of Belzerg. 

“Hey.” Aqua said, which caused Kazuma to halt.

Kazuma turned his head over his shoulder with a hum.

“How can you make up a story like that on the spot?” Aqua asked.

“Well, it is the truth.” Satoru said, head slightly tilted to the side. “Just a bit farther than that barbarian understood.”

The room nodded.

“Listen, Aqua.” Kazuma assumed a lecturing tone.

“Okay.” Aqua hummed.

Kazuma raised a hand to seemingly hold the statue’s sword tip. “Today we’ll register with a guild and find a place to stay the night.”

“G-Got it.” Aqua nodded her head and raised her hands in front of her chest. “I don’t know anything about games, but I guess that’s how it works in worlds like this, right?”

“By which I meant, I have no first hand experience playing the games.” Aqua explained. “All I knew was observing their world and reading from the books of the dead.”

Kazuma raised his hand even further to directly point at Aqua. “Exactly. All right, let’s go.”

The pseudo-couple dropped their arms and walked off.

“Oh, wait.” Aqua muttered with her knife-hands framing her booty. “You seem like such a capable guy.”

The camera changed to a front view of both Kazuma and Aqua.

“Why were you a shut-in otaku with no friends or girlfriend before?” Aqua asked.

“Did you not just read a book that detailed his entire life, or was that book merely how he died?” Satoru asked.

Aqua blushed and hung her head.

Kazuma grunted and gritted his teeth at that.

“Why did you seclude yourself every day and act like such a shut-in NEET?” Aqua asked.

Kazuma gritted his teeth even more before he half turned towards Aqua and pointed an accusatory finger towards her.

“Stop calling me a shut-in NEET, you bitch.” Kazuma proceeded to escalate the situation. “Don’t lump “shut-in” and “NEET” together.”

“Well, in the mid 2010s, they did become basically synonyms.” Ristarte said.  “Along with NEET becoming a synonym for utmost laziness.”

The rest of the room hawed.

Thankfully his outburst produced no reactions. Specifically the next frame was a mid-back length red haired mage in a bowler(?) hat and a dark haired warrior sitting at a bar. The bartender merely shook his tumbler and produced a soft clanging sound that signaled that there was ice in them. The mage’s staff sat next to her and conveniently covered the menu.

The next frame showcased Luna the receptionist in her alcove, the camera specifically panning up past her large tits to showcase Luna’s dark yellow hair and amber colored eyes. 

“Hello. What can I do for you today?” Luna asked, firmly in her customer management mode.

The camera zoomed out to showcase the three other desks, though Luna was the only receptionist on duty. At desk number three, desk number one was against the wall to the right. There were two different signs framing this help area, their text too blurry to translate.

“Um, we’d like to become adventurers.” Kazuma said.

“I see.” Luna’s autopilot brain replied. 

Luna closed her eyes and smiled. “In that case, you’ll first need to pay the registration fee.”

The camera showed Kazuma smiling with his eyes closed, not processing anything. Aqua stood by a support pillar. The Founder’s statue and its red caper separated the two.

“Sure, Sure…” Kazuma said.

Kazuma’s very tired neurons fired and transmitted the information gathered by his ears to his cerebral cortrex.

“Huh?” Kazuma opened his eyes as he stopped smiling. “Registration fee?”

Kazuma turned his head towards Aqua. 

“Do you have any money?” Kazuma asked.

Aqua shook her head in the negative, her mouth still an adorable tiny dot.

“You dragged me here without any warning.” Aqua reminded Kazuma. “Of course I don’t.”

Kazuma had stress sweat all over his despairing face. Luna still had her autopilot brain active and her hands neatly clasped each other.

“This girl’s useless…” Kazuma blamed everyone but himself.

“Yeah well, that’s what happens when you don’t give prep time.” Seiya said, glaring at Kazuma.

Kazuma shrunk into his chair. “Oh come on, I just got the courage to sit back up properly! I mean, as much properly you can be in a recliner chair.”

The tavern was shown from above as a barmaid walked past two fully seated tables. Kazuma and Aqua were sitting in the loneliest corner by the window. Kazuma was shown alone before a reddish-brown haired barmaid came up to the table.

“Are you ready to order?” the barmaid asked the depressed pseudo-couple.

“Um, I’m still thinking about it…” Kazuma said.

The barmaid sighed as she turned away, holding her clipboard to her chest.

“Please take your time.” the barmaid's autopilot brain replied.

The heads of the two isekai’d were shown. Well more specifically their eyes and noses, or at least Kazuma’s when he looked up and across to Aqua.

“Hey, what should we do?” Kazuma asked. “We’ve already hit a roadblock.”

A circular shield with a cog wheel on the outer rim, a bumpy-flower like ring just inside of the cog wheel, and inside of the flower was a plus (or cross if one wanted to ascribe more Christianity than was necessary) which had two swords that peaked out at diagonal angles, and formed a blunt 8 pointed star of chaos. Was shown over their table, high up on the wall.

“Normally we’d get a minimal amount of equipment and enough to cover basic living expenses, at least.” Kazuma continued to complain. “This is totally inhospitable.”

Kazuma shrunk even further under Puck and Tanya’s gazes. Satoru had a bemused tint in his wavering flame eyes. Naofumi, Raphtalia, and Filo directed their deadpan stares towards the 16 year old. Rista had gripped Seiya’s mouth closed and pulled his head towards the screen.

Aqua raised her head to stare Kazuma in the eyes.

“There goes your reliability, just like that.” Aqua said. “Well, I guess it was inevitable. You are a shut-in NEET.”

“Don’t call me a shut-in NEET.” Kazuma glared at the goddess. 

Aqua placed her hands on the table and pushed herself up.

“Fine. I guess it’s my turn now.” Aqua said as she adopted a confident hand on hip pose.

Kazuma looked attentive at the goddess’ new found confidence.

“Let me show you what a goddess can do!” Aqua said.

Aqua waved goodbye as she walked away to horns playing. Thus Aqua walked up to an old man calmly drinking his beverage of choice. Hand grabbed the barrel-like mug from the side, the other hand supported the drink from below. She stopped right before the camera and treated the audience to another shot of her booty. Which perspective wise was the same size as the man’s torso.

“You there, priest! State your denomination!” Aqua said, visible hand on her hip.

“Hm?” Went the old man as he opened up his eyes.

Aqua had a cute and confident grin on her face, hands on her hips with the backs of them pressed against her Shrodinger’s Dress. Flutes played.

“I’m Aqua.” the goddess introduced herself. “Yes, the object of worship for the Religious Cult of Axis: The goddess Aqua!”

Aqua blinked as she raised a hand to point at the priest.

“If thou art one of my followers…” Aqua said.

Aqua bowed from a side view, the old man priest had a bit of nervous sweat rolling down his face.

“It’d be a huge help if you could lend me some money!” Aqua pleaded in a rapid squeaky voice.

“I’m in the Eris Sect, actually…” the priest busted the goddess’s bubble.

Aqua instantly snapped into a shocked face with far more nervous sweat than the priest and the bridge of her nose/between her eyes became red. The flutes stopped with a bang as even Kazuma knew how far Aqua shoved her foot down her throat. His eyes were mere pinpricks and his jaw fell open. …if he wasn’t just now realizing that Aqua wore nothing under her dress in the next camera angle.

All was silent enough for a woman’s giggles to echo through the tavern which overlapped with the theather’s

“Oh, you are? I’m sorry.” Aqua said in a quiet/dead tone.

She turned around as she rubbed her head, but the priest raised his hand.

“Oh, young lady, are you with the Axis Cult?” the priest’s brain jiggled into motion. “The relationship of the goddesses Aqua and Eris is that of Superior and Subordinate.”

“The difference is the ‘quality’ of faith and what we embody.” Aqua said. “For Eris as the Goddess of Luck and Commerce, every action of probability such as shooting an arrow into a crowd of enemies, will empower her. Of course more specialized things such as trying to infiltrate a mansion or dice games will provide more faith towards her, especially if something valuable to more than the thief and current holder is at stake.”

Everyone else’ eyes widened, mentally filling in why Aqua is a senior goddess. Water, after all, was a widely observed physical thing and essential to most life. While Luck and Commerce were only things that sapients could spend time thinking about once their essentials were met. Or in the case of luck, bemoaning their lack of luck because they couldn’t fulfill their essential needs.

“Oh no, you’re the collective consciousness type of deity.” Satoru said, voicing everyone’s thoughts, head in his hands..

“Ah, so that’s why my village has so many sealed detities around it.” Megumin rubbed her chin. “It is easier than killing or converting everyone of their disciples-dreamers. Let alone actual battles to the death with the detities. Which has the potential of fragmenting said deity and/or embedding the ‘idea’ of them into every viewer.”

“So If I want to keep her around and she loses all of her followers, then I would have to personally worship her?” Kazuma thought, eyes on his hands fiddling in his lap.

“I wonder if there is an analogue to Megumin’s clan in my world.” Demiurge thought, left hand on chin as his right hand wrote mental scribbles on the chitin of his tail. “That way I can give Jaldaboath the goal of unsealing his master. Assuming that my plan of making Jaldabaoth the Demon King falls through. But if Jaldabaoth has a god that he ‘answers’ to, then that will increase Lord Satoru’s Momon Persona when he defeats said god. I’ve already implanted the Tri-Armagedden Evil Statue as the reason for the Demonic Disturbance. So I can just say that this god made that statue.”

“And it prevents them from growing stronger and influencing reality, whether that be by empowering their faithful or deciding that 2+2=Purple Pineapple.” Aqua nodded. “Being sealed and forgotten has weakened them.”

Aqua glanced towards Subaru and Shalltear “Should have weakened them.”

“So what happens if you die?” Subaru asked.

“Among lots of other things, Water magic won’t work any more.” Aqua said. “While that doesn’t seem too bad, you must understand that their world doesn’t have the evaporation cycle being the cause of rain, instead it is drunk elementals that cause storms and rain is managed by the lesser spirits. Admittedly evaporation does fulfill the role of making the elementals ‘drunk’ off of the mana in the ocean boiling away into the clouds where the elementals hover.” [2]

“Assuming I just don’t wake up back in Heaven because I got crippled.” Aqua thought. “Seriously, I forgot the whole deal between the Storm Elementals stripping the women in thanks for the adventurers beating them back into sobriety. WHICH I REALLY SHOULD HAVE KNOWN BECAUSE I AM THE WATER GODDESS! Or the fact that Devils have the ability to save up multiple lives via Arcana, the negative energy of this world. Which also provides magic resistant to at least the Dragons. Oh and in sufficient concentrations such as a High Ranking Devil being in one place for centuries, Arcana can rip open a portal to hell. While Divine Mana only grants silly-grade regeneration. Because fuck us.”

Again the room's eyes widened.

Satoru’s eye flames narrowed. “If there is no water magic, then that means there is no healing magic nor irrigation for agriculture. Thus mass famines that will weaken nations, if not destroy them outright. And because there is no food, your armies will starve while the Demon King can just modify some beasts to grow food directly from their bodies. Or modify slimes to function as irrigation. And have his combat minions be completely immune to everything but the now absent water magic.”

The others in the room rubbed their temples.

“If you are so important then why did your superiors even allow you to leave?” Puck said, teeth gritted. “While I am the Great Spirit of Fire, in my world Fire Magic covers both hot and cold temperatures. It is a title that will be passed onto another Fire Spirit with my death. It is what happened when I killed Melakouera. But that is just a random title humans made, same with the Beast of the End. it doesn’t have any effects on Od Laguna.”

“Is the Winter Shogun your heir? Does your Heaven have a backup plan at all?” A twitch traveled down Puck’s spine to the tip of his tail.

“I am planning on being the last Water-type deity of my Pantheon.” Aqua said. “But probably that is what would happen if mortals wanted to Apotheosis him. Or one of his subordinate Snow Sprites, which if you kill one of them, then winter is shortened by a single day.”

The others except Kazuma, Darkness, and Megumin blinked.

“That’s odd.” Puck summarized the room’s thoughts as he rubbed his temples. “First the manually controlled water, and now this season decoupled from the time of the year? What’s next, all plant life being mobile and extremely hostile?”

Megumin opened her mouth.

“Oh come on!” Puck said, spasmed from head to tail tip, this time the twitch traveled down to his paws as well. “I was being rhetorical!”

“Well, so long as you don’t swallow the seeds whole.” Megumin explained. “Then most of the plant life just pulls up their roots and runs away. Only the vegetables actually attack you, hence why you need permits to grow them. So I don’t think you can count that as hostile.”

The room blinked again.

Lergen rubbed his head. “The childhood fears of plant life growing inside of you if you swallow a seed. Should not be a literal thing.”

“A-Allergies can be t-triggered if the f-flowers engulf their enemies’ f-faces.” Mare said as he tapped his chin.

“Eh, haven’t seen any flowers do that.” Megumin waved her hand. “They mostly run around and make the teacher force his students to round them up. Maybe if there was a vicious Tranquility Girl nearby, but uh.”

The room filled in the blanks of that happening when their species’ common name was that.

Warn Kazuma of the Tranquility Queen and the Manticores that live near Axel. Darkness wrote in her notebook.

Ah, that is easier and harder than the Unified Divine Realm’s ranking system of how many worlds you have saved. Ristarte thought. Ask Aqua about ascended humans.

Hm, guess Aqua is vulnerable to Ovid and Dante-type Orators. Rudersdorf frowned. 

Aqua blinked and turned her head back.

“This must be fate. I saw earlier that you couldn’t cover the fee, correct?” The priest continued.

The priest laid out several golden coins on the table. They were engraved with the dull star of chaos which maybe is the emblem of Belzerg Kingdom.

“Here. Please consider this Eris-sama’s divine blessing.” the priest said while doing the cross motion. …which was a Christian thing.

The military records crew, except Tanya, all breathed in through their noses and counted to ten.

Aqua’s dismay tinted appearance straightened at the sight. Her body and hair cast far more shadow than it should.

“Still, no matter how devout a believer you are, you mustn’t call yourself a goddess.” The priest rubbed his beard.

“Uh, yes. I’m sorry.” Aqua said while she completed her turn and walked over to grab the coins. “Thank you very much…”

Aqua clutched the few coins to her chest before Kazuma’s mouth twitched, eyebrows knotted as Aqua walked back. A soft giggle-sigh escaped Aqua’s lips as she stood in front of her ‘owner’.

“He didn’t even believe that I'm a goddess.” Aqua complained.

Aqua’s eyes wavered under her tears. “By the way, Eris is a goddess ranked beneath me. A believer in my subordinate took pity on me and lent me money…”

Aqua’s eyes wobbled so much that they were audible. 

Kazuma looked away and down at the floor. “Y-Yeah…”

Luna was shown wiping off her desk, more accurately her hand. She paused as the camera zoomed out to show Luna nearly horizontal with her butt pointing to the lower right corner of the screen. Kazuma and Aqua’s eyes were covered by their hair bangs. 

“Um,” Kazuma brought up his hand. “We’ve brought the registration fee.”

Luna stood up as she stopped her washing, “S-Sure…”

“Something told me that she didn’t want to make eye contact with us…” Kazuma narrated over the request board.

Luna turned around, “Allow me to formally explain.”

Kazuma and Aqua were shown as Luna’s autopilot brain swapped back on.

“Adventurers each have their own occupations.” Luna said before she pointed to the card. “This is your registration card. It keeps track of how many monsters you’ve vanquished.”

“So, you don’t have to cut off the ears or other body parts to confirm the kill?” Satoru said, left hand on chin.

“We are not backwards hillbillies!” Darkness said, fists clutched at her side.

“Besides, if all the adventurers are looking for is to cut off their ears.” Tanya said with a shrug. “Then the natural thing to do is to make a monster breeding farm, cut off the associated body part, sell the part, and then use the money to expand your breeding facilities. Which will eventually get exposed and release far more monsters than originally was.”

Albedo closed her eyes and mentally groaned at such an easy answer to raise money, which she and Demiurge completely missed. Then not one of Lord Satoru’s operatives would lack for money in the human world. Demiurge resisted the urge to slap himself upside the head with his tail as he came to the same conclusion.

“Okay, I get why Albedo and Demiurge didn’t think of that because they have to run Nazarick and deduce Lord Satoru’s plots to take over the world respectively.” Aura thought, head in her hands with Mare gently rubbing her head. “But I am the Beastmaster, so I should have thought of that myself! Hey, for that matter, why don’t we see if Mare could grow one of the rare (for the New World) plants and harvest those to give to Lord Satoru’s Momon Persona. Which would increase his fame because he can now accurately identify AND harvest rare plant materials.”

“I could have the Lizardmen see if they have any other rare resources suitable for trade to human settlements.” Cocytus thought. “Then have Lord Satoru as Momon formally meet them and bring trade. Increasing his fame not only as a Human Hero, but as a Hero of many races.”

Satoru placed a hand on his forehead. “Oh, I am such a dumbass for not thinking of that. It would certainly give Aura and Mare something to do so that they aren’t bored.”

Tanya gave half-lidded glares to the Nazarick crew. “[Geniuses], Suuuuure.”

The NPCs accepted that remark and hung their heads.

“As your level increases, you’ll earn points that you can use to learn skills, so please work hard to raise your level.” Luna said as she folded her hands in front of her waist.

A blue crystal orb was shown, yellow and light gray metal formed a clockwork machination around the orb. Below the orb were three cyan laser focusing discs. The Card Maker was held up by two dark gray claws.

“Now, both of you, please hold your hands over this crystal.” Luna asked.

The camera swapped to show Kazuma reaching to the crystal. Aqua was interested in the clockwork of the Card Maker.

“Like this?” the boy asked.

With a click and the sound of a film reel rolling, the crystal lit up with an inner like as the clockwork spun. Which prompted an amazed [ha] to spill from Kazuma’s lips. Cyan bubbles gathered in the crystal before they descended to the focusing lens. The clockwork clicked and swirled as a violin played over the fantastically rendered CGI. the focusing lens, more like small bowls as the camera zoomed in and provided clarity, wobbled as the cyan bubbles passed through them to reach the needle at the bottom.

With a soft electronic whistle, the needle tip glowed and shot the concentrated bubbles down at the card. Etching into it the details of Kazuma.

“With this, you will each learn your current status,” Luna said as the laser wrote down Kazuma’s name. “So please choose your desired occupation based on your stats.”

The laser-pen was shown from below, looking like a saucer-type final boss. The laser passed over the camera twice before we returned to Kazuma’s very invested face.

“Here it comes!” Kazuma leaned closer. “Now my tremendous latent abilities will be made apparent, and there’ll be an uproar throughout the guild!”

“I mean…” Kazuma scratched his left cheek. “I guess I did receive it, with that sheer delay of leveling up.”

“You also did get it by proxy of Aqua.” Megumin and Darkness said.

Aqua nodded.

Kazuma blushed.

“So, Subaru truly isn’t the only one with that type of expectations.” Emilia thought with half-lidded eyes.

The laser etching finished, leaving a lot of words in the Belzerg script that went untranslated. Below a stylized portrait of Kazuma were six bubbles that detailed the type of class he had. To the left of that was his skill list and presumably his current stat point number. Above that was his name in the script, which looked like the scribbles of a space architect. Luna picked up the card and then turned around.

“Yes, thank you very much.” Luna said while reading Kazuma’s card. “Satou Kazuma-san, is it? Let me see…”

The camera showed Kazuma gleefully awaiting his destiny and Aqua mildly interested.

“Average across the board.” Luna said. “With the exception of decently high intelligence…”

Luna blinked. “Oh? Your luck is extraordinarily high.”

Kazuma blushed as most of the room nodded in agreement with Luna.

“Of course,” Luna held Kazuma’s card to her chest, a hesitant look on her face. “Luck isn’t a very essential stat for an adventurer… with this much luck, I’d recommend becoming a merchant or something similar.”

Kazuma had the barest hints of despair on his face, Aqua tried and mostly succeeded in suppressing her giggles behind a meritful smirk and her hand.

“Ah, the [Easy Growth] thing is a hidden stat.” Rudersdorf said, tapping his left hand’s fingers against his left palm. “On one hand, it's convenient not to hang a [please assassinate me] sign around their necks. On the other hand, I do not envy your nation’s strategists when it comes to your nation’s future.”

“We did identify the previous Cheat Users by their black hair and odd artifacts.” Darkness explained. “But roughly 20 years ago there was a push from the demon king that focused down on black haired people, so Mitsurugi and Kazuma are the latest in the trend of disinformation.” [4]

“Ah, what is a mere twenty years to a goddess?” The rest of the room thought, realizing that the demon king wouldn’t use a dagger in place of a broadsword.

Kazuma glared at the snickering Aqua over his shoulder. “Hey, she’s disapproving of my adventurer’s lifestyle right off the bat. What’s going on?”

“U-Um,” Kazuma turned towards Luna, he hunched over. “Make my primary job [Adventurer], please.”

“W-Well,” Luna’s brain switched into consultation mode. “You can always change jobs when you level up!”

“Y-You’re right!” Kazuma said, straightening his back as he took his card. 

“Eh? You don’t have to wait until level 40 before your Class-Up Ritual?” Raphtaila asked, her ears twitched as she remembered the battle against the Class-upped Bandit that was cut from the anime. “No wait, you have that very slow leveling process. Thus you wouldn’t need to restrict access to the Class-Up ritual.”

Raphtalia glanced at Filo’s Cowlick-Tiara thing.

“Would you gain stats from changing your class?” Raphtalia asked. “It happened to us, so you should have the same thing. …though, you don’t have the Waves as a phenomenon.”

Aqua shook her head. “No we don’t have to wait, no our stats don’t grow when we change classes. The only way for stats to grow is leveling, training, and Dragon Meat.”

Kazuma turned towards Aqua. “Hey, if Dragon Meat is a stat boosting item, and at least Mitsu-prick can easily kill a Dragon.” Kazuma reached over to pinch Aqua’s cheeks. “Then, why oh why, isn’t Dragon Meat being served as a regular, if expensive, meal here at Axel’s Adventurer’s Guild?”

“Because Dragons are converters who seek out Arcana, the energy of hell, absorbing it. They break it down into usable energies and rare materials like Manatite that form in their treasure hoards, the stat increase is just a side effect. But because the Dragons are not native to hell, they all go insane and must be put down.” Aqua said through her pinched cheeks. “The other side effect of this conversion process makes it so that Arcana can be smelled by anyone, not just the Divines. Thus if you were to serve Dragon Meat, you would get numerous complaints about the smell.” [3]

Kazuma closed his eyes, breathed out his nose, and let Aqua go.

“Ah, if only Volcanica’s meat could do the same thing.” Roswaal thought. “Then Subaru would be on board with my plan to kill the Dragon, he must be desperate to be worthwhile in combat.”

“Eating to get stronger? What a lazy growth method.” The casts of Overlord, Military Records, Rista, Seiya, and Subaru thought.

“Ah, so more of the cardinal weapons.” Raphtailia and Filo thought.

“Subaru and Kazuma are going to be so pissed that I can grow stronger just by eating everything.” Naofumi thought of his shield’s absorption ability. Blissfully unaware of his time as the Tray (Mirror) Hero in the second Glass World arc.

“Of course we can’t have that type of ‘metaphysics’, no that would mean Subaru would be useful in more situations.” Puck’s left eye twitched. “Apparently we can’t have nice things.”

“I know that the last heartbeat of a Dragon and/or the blood of a Dragon is one possible solution to my frozen forest.” Emilia frowned and glanced at her lap. “But why can’t we have such an easy way to gain power? That isn’t being born with it like myself, or tremendous training like Wilhelm?”

Emilia breathed in through her nose, held her breath for 10 seconds, and released it from her mouth.

“I. Am. Not. Her.” Emilia thought.

Ram laid a hand on her twin’s back which broke Rem out of her angry thought spiral.

Kazuma opened his eyes and stared down Aqua.

His face dropped as he saw for himself, exactly how terrible his stats were. 

“The weakest job, huh?” Kazuma thought as Aqua walked past behind him. 

The machine swirled for a brief moment then Luna let out a loud gasp.

“Aside from your intelligence being below average,” Luna said around her hand in front of her mouth. “And your luck being the lowest possible level, all of your stats are drastically above average!”

“Yeah,” Zettour nodded. “Being dragged down from Heaven would qualify for the lowest luck possible.”

“If we didn’t just see part of Subaru’s first day.” The rest of the room finished the thought.

Luna’s boobs jiggled as she turned towards Aqua. 

“What?” Aqua’s just stated intelligence kicked in. “Does that mean I’m really amazing?”

A mirthful jingle played as Luna retrieved Aqua’s card.

“A-Amazing is an understatement!” Luna said. “The mage class, which requires intelligence, is out of the question, but other than that, you can be anything you want!”

Two barmaids and four male customers were shown as they turned towards Luna, Kazuma, and Aqua.

“A Crusader, Sword Master, Arch Priest…” Luna continued over their interested looks. “Nearly any Advanced Class right from the start!”

The red haired barmaid walked in front of them, the camera focused on her interested face as Luna’s final syllable left her lips. Before Aqua and Kazuma were shown once again, Kazuma looked at Aqua with a dejected expression as Aqua had a closed eye smug smile on her face. One arm supported the other whose hand had her raised index finger twirling in place.

“I see. It’s a shame there’s no [Goddess] Occupation,” Aqua said, she opened her eyes and placed her hands on her hips. “But in my case, maybe I’ll be an Arch Priest who heals her allies.”

“An Arch Priest!” Luna said.

The camera panned up Aqua’s body starting at her hips

“An almighty Class that commands all recovery and support magic, and that boasts enough strength to stand at the front line!” Luna’s narration ended at Aqua’s pleasant smile.

The tavern erupted into cheers and trumpets. Still images of celebrating adventurers passed before Luna turned around after getting Aqua’s card. Luna was suddenly flanked by two other receptionists, the left one was an elf with light green hair. The right was a human with a darker shade of green.

“Without further ado, welcome to our adventurer’s guild, Lady Aqua.” Luna said.

The camera retreated to show further uniformed staff members, Luna took her free arm and placed it under her boobs like she was going to bow. All of the …behind the scenes staff wore the same uniform. A brown vest over a secondary vest this time colored navy, which had a white long sleeved shirt underneath that. A red tie provided a centering effect compared to the yellow star that was over everyone’s heart. The look was completed with a gray pair of pants with the navy vest’s coattails covering the belt.

To the left of the elf was a moderately tall brown haired human man who had his arms folded behind his waist. To that one’s left stood a far larger, both in height and width, man with his arms crossed.

“All of our staff will be looking forward to your future exploits.” Luna said.

“Why couldn’t Re-Estize be developed enough to have these adventurer’s cards?” The NPCs thought. “Then Lord Satoru wouldn’t have to waste his time doing menial tasks.”

A wide shot of the guild filled to the brim with adventurers who all cheered before the camera cut back to Aqua’s smiling face. 

“Starting off as an Archpriest is incredible!” Said one female adventurer amongst the crowd.

Aqua’s hair did its pseudo dog tail wagging as the camera routed around her, as Aqua looked around the crowd. Aqua closed her eyes as she rubbed her head and waved with her free hand.

“Someone like you might actually be able to beat the Demon King, you reckless girl!” Said the Barbarian as he was moved behind Aqua.

The turning movement ended when the disappointed Kazuma got onto screen.

“No event like this is going to happen for me?” Kazuma asked.

Aqua pivoted towards Kazuma, a smile beaming across her face and finger pointed directly at Kazuma. 

“It’s the adventurer’s life for us starting today, Kazuma!” Aqua said.

“I thought you absolutely hated all this.” Kazuma replied, still down.

Aqua blinked and lowered her hand, “Did I?”

Kazuma merely closed his eyes and sighed. The camera swapped to just above the statue’s head, showing the massive crowd. Kazuma half turned before the entire crowd was blurred out to focus on the statue. Then the camera showed the statue from Kazuma’s perspective.

“Well, anyways, everything thus far has been basically character creation,” Kazuma thought, as he turned to the camera and a small smile grew. “Now our adventure is about to begin.”

The camera zoomed into Kazuma’s face before blending into a blinding white. Axel was shown from the treetops, sunlight peeking from above the wall. Then one of the nearby mountains was shown with a tower to the side, in between was the sunlight behind the horizon. No, it was the dawn of a new day and the dawn of the end of the Demon King. trumpets and other horns played continuously until the next spoke line over this montage.

A dove flew past the screen at a very close distance, close enough for the viewer to count the individual feathers. Which was helped by the fact that the bird was rapidly losing feathers as it flew up and away from the camera.

A mound of dirt was shown before an offscreen Kazuma swung his pickaxe into the ground. Kazuma was shown mid backswing, down to his white undershirt and green tracksuit pants. The top half wrapped around his waist and a white headband from somewhere applied to his forehead. Kazuma gritted his teeth as he once more swung the pickaxe forward, obscuring the sight of a short set of scaffolding to repair the wall’’s face.

The animation exaggerated Kazuma’s determined but despairing face as he commenced the hard labor of groundbreaking.

Kazuma was shown from afar with several other men digging to either provide stone for the wall or to make a foundation. In the foreground Aqua was providing water to three men in the shade of a lean-to. Kazuma was next shown to be carrying the back of a massive timber that was tied to a bag of coal or the result of their mining, only for the weight to be too much and he collapsed which caused the rocks to fall out.

A small amount of dust, the same amount as Aura kicked up, billowed around him as Kazuma laid on his back amongst the rocks which narrowly missed him. Kazuma slowly glanced up to the blonde foreman who had his arms crossed and a massive frown. Kazuma jolted upwards and raised an apology salute while the other worker was scratching his head and a faint light of dismay shone in his eyes.

“Why didn’t you participate in the hard labor, if your stats are so good?” Filo asked.

“Well, that would be training.” Aqua shrugged. “As a Goddess, my stats are already at the cap that they naturally can grow to be, whether that be training or leveling. So the only way for me to grow stat wise is Dragon Meat.”

The others blinked as Kazuma placed his hands on Aqua’s shoulders and gave her a pitying look. 

“I don’t need your pity.” Aqua said as she removed Kazuma’s hands from her shoulders.

“Ah, too bad about Aqua not doing the hard work.” Tanya thought. “Might have seen some Popeye-type action. …and the joy of a ‘Goddess’ forced to do the same menial tasks as us.”

A pair of horses were shown with their heads between the stable bars.

“What are those?” Emilia asked. “Why do they look like Melakuera?”

“First a fire cat, and now a fire horse.” Tanya breathed in. “Ah, proper fantasy.”

“Those are horses?” Ram said. “Hn, I like the look of Land Dragons better. At least the scales don’t get everywhere like fur does.” 

The entire stable was shown before Kazuma’s face was shown with closed eyes on a bundle of hay. Kazuma then rolled over to face a pile of horseshit, he then smelled it and jerked away. Kazuma glared at the scat and held his nose closed.

“You know, if Aqua actually pulled her weight.” Filo said. “Then maybe you wouldn’t have to sleep in a stable.”

Aqua hung her head.

“…and that’s another thing I am forced to be grateful about.” Naofumi thought, head in hands. “How lucky I was to not be forced to sleep in a stable, even when the entire nation hated my guts.”

Raphtalia gently rubbed the back of her Master’s head.

“Well, at least Subaru didn’t have to deal with this.” Rem thought. 

“Oh come on, why couldn’t I have joined the party early enough to sleep in the stable with them?” Darkness bit her tongue to prevent her jealousy from showing on her face.

Her party mates all had half lidded eyes as they sensed their perverted knight’s thoughts.

“Wow, Aqua didn’t cry about that?” Megumin thought. “I guess she does have a modicum of self control.”

Megumin twisted in her seat.

“At least I didn’t force Kazuma to smell my pee during that doll incident.” Megumin thought. “Couldn’t the stable owner find an actually clean cell for them to sleep in?”

“Aw, of course I miss such a delightful bounding experience.” Darkness shuddered. “Kazuma could have used my body as a blanket and as an air freshener.”

The camera shifted to show Aqua right behind Kazuma, blissfully asleep and selfishly hogging the only tiny blanket. More scat was just below Kazuma, to the point where if he straightened his legs, then his feet would be barely an inch away. Kazuma’s shoulders shook before the camera showed the outside of the barn, above which was a pleasant navy night sky partially hidden by the clouds. 

Beneath the barn laid a gently babbling crook which ended in the screen’s bottom right corner. The crook’s end gently shimmered like Kazuma’s tears.

Kazuma blurred as he swung the pickaxe in the light of day,  his expression far more maniac today. The other workers, however, were far more impressed with Aqua’s …Talents to see what Kazuma was doing. Though Aqua did eventually learn enough construction skills to expand a castle under daily [Explosion] bombardment by Wolbach, the one who taught Megumin explosion.

So Aqua flourishly applying mortar, or whatever the brick binding element is called, does have a purpose. Though her white shirt, green pants, gray boots, and yellow bandana certainly was …an interesting design choice. One that only highlighted Aqua’s delight as she spun around to face the crowd, which included Kazuma who had stopped working. 

Aqua dumped a bucket of water over her head as she did the pseudo-shower of apparently Japanese tradition. Kazuma and Aqua were shown back in their original gear drinking milk. Whose vendor was just to the side of them in a purple apron and a light purple shirt with a white hat. Both Aqua and Kazuma held their left hands on their waists as they completely drained the glass jugs of milk.

The adventurer’s guild was shown at night and Kazuma bit into a drumstick and had to pull the meat apart with his teeth. Aqua bit into cheese on a fork before she and Kazuma bumped their Nereoid drinks together.

Kazuma threw a large blanket onto a pile of hay, which was finally free of horse scat. Aqua turned around and leapt backwards onto the blanket. Hands held close to her chest before she threw them out and upwards as she landed. Kazuma too was making a Y shape but he was face down into their new blanket.

Kazuma was finally working in unison with the other groundbreakers, but still wildly threw his head back and forth. …well mostly in sync, he was in a line with the others who were in actual synchronization. Kazuma operated the crane lifting up three more bricks to the top of the wall, and Aqua took a free ride. She waved some encouragement towards Kazuma as he got her level with the top of the wall.

Aqua and Kazuma were shown side by side as they did the bucket of water thing. They then banged their drinks together once more. They both sensed the presence of their construction co-workers and their eyes shrunk to pinpricks as they saw the entirety of the crew before them. Said crew was understandably pissed because of their lackluster work efforts. Kazuma and Aqua quietly shook in fear.

A white flash then Kazuma was shown line dancing with the other men, each of which was holding their own drinks. Everyone had their eyes closed as they swayed from side to side. Aqua bumped drinks with two of her co-workers as some of the tavern goers raised their mugs to the partying group of workers.

The camera zoomed out of Aqua chugging so much alcohol that even she had a small blush over her nose. Kazuma had a hand on his head as he closed his eyes and leaned back, nearly resting on his boss. In front of Kazuma was another filled to the brim mug, in fact the foam of the drink was overflowing. Next to the overflowing drink laid a plate of drum sticks. After that Kazuma rubbed Aqua’s back as she puked out a rainbow, a large one in fact with a modest puddle by their feet.

The next day Aqua slathered on more mortar in a sideways V shape, the duo did the bathtub bathing thing, and this time Aqua joined Kazuma in the conga line. The post dance drinking was skipped to replay the rainbow puking once more.

The dove lost the same amount of feathers as it heralded the dawn of a new day. 

Kazuma still made his overly exaggerated faces but this time he was in sync with the other workers, Aqua made a sideways V Mortar. Then Aqua and Kazuma drained their small glasses of milk. …the clip of Kazuma eating a drumstick and Aqua eating cheese replayed. They toasted their drinks and the full conga line was shown in this replay. Before it zoomed into Aqua’s cheerful but closed eyes face. As transparent liquid droplets filled the bottom half of the screen.

The droplets continued as it went to Kazuma’s face, also full of enjoyment.

The navy blue sky filled with stars as the camera raced up to show the full moon. The music reached a crescendo as Aqua and Kazuma, now finally having separate blankets of their own. Laid down on their sack of hay. A beat filled with the white noise of nightlife animals as their work closes were hung on a drying line above them.

“Wait, this isn’t right!” Kazuma lunged into a seating position.

“Really, what was your first indication?” Lergen snarked.

“What isn’t?” Aqua asked, not willing to exit the comfort of her blanket by sitting up.

Kazuma placed his hand over his mouth. “No, wait a second!”

That caused Aqua to shuffle herself upwards and push her blanket down to her hips. Her blue nightgown was just a shade lighter than her hair or her eyes, it had a bare neck with exposed shoulders. Her nightgown was prevented from falling by two white straps connected to a thick white band. Above her breasts was a small tie, a dark purple circle with yellow trim. The main body of the tie was red and ended in a white chevron.

“What’s wrong?” Aqua asked. “Did you forget to use the bathroom before bed? It’s dark. Do you want me to go with you?”

Kazuma jolted his hand away and crunched it into a fist as he glared at Aqua.

“No need! It's not that!” Kazuma yelled

The stable owner was apparently close enough to hear that and banged against the wall. …further frightening their horses if said animals were awake. Aqua’s hair twirled as Kazuma hunched into himself, fists near his chin in an ametur’s boxing pose. His eyes were pinpricks as he stared at the wall separating him and a potential beatdown because of a noise complaint. Aqua completed her motion and her final pose was that karate chop hand position.

“Keep it down!” Shouted back the stable owner as Aqua’s eyes shrunk to pinpricks.

The pseudo-couple twisted their spines as they waved their hands and closed their eyes in the exact same way.

“W-We’re sorry!” They both stuttered in the same way.

Kazuma spread mortar over a seam in the bricks before placing a new brick over the seam. Aqua was sat a few feet away on a wooden stool so she could make a higher layer of bricks. Kazuma picked up another brick and laid it upon the mortar.

“We didn’t come here to be laborers.” Kazuma said.

“Oh,” Aqua jolted out of autopilot and turned towards Kazuma. “That’s right!” 

Aqua pulled her brick and …mortar spreader thing away from her work station. “I need you to defeat the Demon King, or I’ll never be able to go home!”

Kazuma had a face of mute despair upon that. So much despair that the next scene was bathwater rippling as Kazuma gingerly lowered himself in.

“Her intelligence stat was lower than a human’s.” Kazuma thought.

“Oh, wait.” Aqua leaned over to Kazuma. Hand hiding a smirk. “You forgot as well.”

Kazuma hung his head.

Kazuma walked out of the bathhouse, carrying a small wooden box.

“All of the monsters near town have been long since exterminated.” Kazuma thought. “With no monsters, there's no need for anyone to give us fetch quests.”

================= Bloopers:

-during the pick a power section-

“I’m surprised that you didn’t say that Heroes marry into Belzerg’s Royalty if they killed a Demon King, and Nobility if they didn’t.” Darkness said. “Thus the Royal Family has abilities on par with the Heroic Cheats.”

“Why only Belzerg?” Aura asked.

“We’re the frontlines and have been for countless Demon Kings.” Megumin said.

“Thus the other nations provide elite troops to shore up our defenses and give other types of support. But the main financial backer of Belzerg is Elroad, a nation built on gambling.” Darkness clarified. Vol10 stuff.

------

“YOU CALL THAT REINCARNATION?!” Tanya yelled, trying to fly over to Kazuma to choke him. Luckily for Kazuma, Visha and Lergen knew Tanya very well and pinned her down. “THAT'S RESURRECTION NOT REINCARNATION!”

“Why would there be a separate term?” Aqua tilted her head.

“CAUSE THEY-” Weiss shoved an unwrapped chocolate bar into his superior’s mouth.

“Because they are widely different things.” Ristarte sighed, hanging her head at her fellow goddess’ stupidity.

--------------deleted cuz I was about to go into Christian-Norse relations and the Crusades.

The non-Military Records crew just sat there for a few seconds comprehending Yahweh’s Angels.

“Angels are also metaphors. Hence why the Cherubim have a human head for love, an ox head for strength, a lion’s head for majesty, and an eagle’s head for cunning.” Rudersdorf said. “Though as you can see on the left, the standard angel looks like a human, being the ones to interact with us most. “Be Not Afraid” does not help with that many eyes. The reason why they have white wings and halos, when they didn’t in the bible, is because the renaissance artists needed a way to differentiate their humans and angels.”

Satoru rested his head in his palms. “So, why did the Cherubim become the angel baby archers?”

“Valentine’s Day, a day where you’re supposed to give chocolate to your significant other.” Rudersdorf explained. “Thus the greco-roman minor deity named Eros/Cupid whose weaponry bestows love, usually in the romantic sense, to anyone they wound. Even himself. Got assimilated into said holiday, because we of the Abrahamic Faiths just love to take someone else’s properties and make it ours. Like what happened to Yuletide (a celebration of Norse’s Great God Odin) into a celebration of Jesus Christ’s birth.”

Satoru perked up. “Oh, right. Christians also transcribed the Norse Literature.”

The other worlds stared at the Military Records cast.

Rudersdorf raised an eyebrow, “Would you prefer the violent way known as the Crusades?”

----

Blooper: if the Axis Cultists were shown.

“This is my role, not yours!” Albedo thought.

In response a group of humans labeled the ‘Axis Cult (Aqua’s Faithful)’ were shown in all of their sexual deviancy. Particularly the various monsters charging the cultists, seeing/overhearing their affiliation, and instantly bolting for the horizon. An image was shown simply titled: Who controls art. On the bottom left was a monarch, in the middle was an eccentric millionaire, on the right was a furry with wads of cash.

“If there is a hole there is a way?” Zettour held his head in his hands. “What is this, the Roman Empire in popular depiction?”

“Oh, splendid. Yet more Eight Fingers-like organizations.” Sebas thought, ki bristled underneath his skin. “Thankfully this one doesn’t have any slave-brothels. …or at least ones that Weaver has yet to reveal to us.”

The others, save Darkness and Megumin, sat in silence absorbing the Axis Cult.

“So, Yggdrasil closed down without any word of a sequel or something.” Aqua, the Goddess of Monster Fuckers and other sexually societal Outcasts, shook her head no. “And that’s just the furries/heteromorph-only players. Especially considering that Name Recognition is just as valuable, if not more so, than Gold.”

“Especially since Satoru’s Earth had only humans and thus Yggdrasil (and its contemporaries) would be one of the only escapes from the cruelty of man.” Aqua raised her hands into a confused shrug. “And the other races couldn’t sabotage their ‘harmless’ reputations like hippos. Compared to Shark’s reputation of monsters always on the prowl.”

“Again, we are just as monstrous as you think we are.” Shalltear and Demiurge thought, cupping their heads in their hands.

“Unfortunately like Bitch/Whore did for women in general, Balscus ruined religions for Mr. Naofumi.” Raphtalia thought, rubbing her temples. “Otherwise you would maybe have a new convert. If you weren’t so lust focused.” “So, your solution to you using people from a nation of declining birth rates and put them into a world of declining birth rates.” Tanya thought. “Was to reincarnate the people from the world of declining birth rates back into Japan. I’ve heard that [If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it] from the Americans. But this is ridiculous.”

=======Preview.

s1ep5/6:

“Why? Did you aim for his arm?” Puck’s tail twitched, Rem’s pinprick eyes were reflected in Puck’s very sharp teeth.  “Why am I not the only one of his allies to kill him?”

S1ep7 re:zero

A pair of hands grasped Subaru’s and broke him out of his nightmare.

The oni twins merely turned their heads towards Subaru as they remember the first interaction they were allowed to keep.

“A simple hand holding is what caused you to forgive us?” Ram stated with half-lidded eyes. “You are far too kind, unnaturally so. The barest of bare minimums of kindness do not make up for what we did.”

….

Subaru leapt off the cliff.

“No, I retract that unnatural kindness comment.” Ram said. “You’re insane. Literally insane.” 

S1ep8 of re:zero.

-------

“So, not only are you completely and utterly insane.” Tanya threw her hands up. “But you don’t even give yourself any rest? Seriously, wait a day or two before you are all chummy with those demons.”

“Racing against a dog clock, remember?” Subaru said.

S1ep14 of re:zero.

“Rem. Rem.” Subaru muttered as he dragged himself through the tragedy around him.

“I’ll count this as healing.” Rem said as she stared down at her hands.

Subaru opened his mouth.

“Yes, I know that it’s because you don’t want to actualize the thought of Emilia being hurt.” Rem spoke before Subaru could. “But thinking about people that have harmed you being hurt, is perfectly normal and a sane thing to do. Which you are in short supply of both.”

-------------------

S1ep2 of Shield Hero:

“You need to trust more.” Subaru said.

“You need to trust LESS!” Naofumi, Tanya, and Ainz shouted back at him.

---------------------

[0] Said angel being completely and utterly terrible was, in fact, the trigger for the party actually killing the demon king. By provoking Aqua’s good hearted nature with the fact that no one else is coming after Kazuma until Aqua is returned. No natives. No isekais. Nothing. Thus the Demon King thinks Kazuma is the Doom Slayer.

[1]the reason why I say this, is because in vol 4 (later half of season 2) Kazuma expresses shock at finding an Elf and Dwarf in Aqua’s church-town. So, elves and dwarves must skip Axel if they come. Also in vol 10, even another human nation does not want to support Belzerg. So why would non humans (other than Aqua and Eris) help? Remember that Belzerg has held back this current demon king for 7 centuries, several of them even before the Crimson Demon clan was made.

To the point where the Belzerd nobility have agreements for the Talentless. If a Talentless only kills a General, then they can marry into the nobility. The Dustiness Family (aka Darkness family) which has only accepted defensive cheats, there’s a rival family for offensive cheats. The royal family itself only accepts the Talentless who actually killed a Demon King. So, the other nations and races are basically blissfully unaware of the danger that the world is in. (which isn’t really shown because it's a comedy series).

Afterall, Belzerg has stood for many generations of Demon Kings, why should this one be any different.

[2]Yes, I know that the common fanon is that all water molecules would disappear with Aqua’s death. But that’s not how I interpated the debate between Aqua, Megumin, Darkness, and Lucy (vol14). But what about Eris not having big boobs if all her faithful believe that she has them? To which I reply: Fanon has Eris being an ascended human like Ristarte. I forget if that is actually canon to the ln, but that is what I am using.

Thus, like Ristarte and Cerceus, Eris is immune (or at least resistant) to attempts to mold her form and facts about her.

[3]in canon, Dragons do have Arcana but that only grants magic resist for them. The smell and stat increase is also canon. Again, I am spending far too much time trying to make sense out of a comedy series.

[4]Yeah it’s canon that Wiz is literally the reason why Konosuba’s Demon King isn’t overlord vol14/later half of s4, or any of the Overly Cautious Demon Kings.

AN: Brain: hey you know what’s a good idea? Use the power picking section to brainstorm powers. Me actually writing: oh hell no. even though I did come up with powers and how to connect them into explaining Actual Speed v Esoteric Speed (using DC’s Flash) vs Action Economy (using Brain Unglaus). That is just too unwieldy, SO STOP APPEARING IN MY MIND, BRAIN!

In other news, that thing about Mare smashing the ice statute of Brain? Yeah I thought it was a personal smack with his staff, ‘comedic’ or otherwise. Not that Brain was caught up in the AOE of Mare’s spells. So Mare is surprisingly less of an asshole than I thought he was.

"I respect you enough to command my subordinates to freeze you into cryostasis, take your weapon as a trophy, but not enough to move your body out of the AOE of my coworker." -Cocytus to Brain.

Unless the road the nobles took to Ainz’ rubble throne was the street Brain defended, then Cocytus must have asked Mare not to destroy the street.

In other news: I’ve got a tumblr, worldweaverofmediocrity. Go there to see progress updates on this story (and maybe others)

I want to have subaru discuss the normal cour length of 12/13 episodes, thus he mistakenly believes that most of the mansion loops (such as the ones where the Oni Twin were cruel to him) wouldn’t be featured in favor of saving the screen time for pete. Thus, he (alone in his head) doesn’t need to explain why he committed a (heroic) suicide nor why he isn’t deeply afraid of said twins. Nor his self harming habit. Or his fear of chains. But I have no idea where to put that, maybe I should save that for the next re:zero episode.

…and i basically lost my first job because of crippling anke pain/constantly under preforming. So job search twice in one year. …yay -_-

I don’t expect to live past 8/30/23, because I have an endoscopy and that requires anatheisa (the part i’m worried about) i’ve underwent that far too many times (like 15+ because when I was 6-8 I had to do an endoscopy every six weeks), so i’ve rolled the dice too amny times. If I don’t take this down in like 5 days, then i’m dead. Writing this last bit during a panick attack.

#isekai quartet #re:zero #overlord #saga of tanya the evil #the overpowered hero is overly cautious #overly cautious hero #overly cautious #konosuba #writing #my writing #the rising of the shield hero

[theforgottenmcrmy]

initial thoughts & reactions to episode 9

SPOILERS for Episode 9 of House of the Dragon below the cut.

Nobody asked for this, but I wanted to jot down my own thoughts for future reference. Thought I might as well post it here in case anyone could relate. WARNING: kinda ranty and very lengthy.

If anyone wants to discuss any of this with me, pleaseeeee do not be a stranger. Shoot me a message. Send me an ask. I am actually dying to talk about this stuff. I beg of you.

Birds chirping- immediate chills.

“He told me he wished for Aegon to be king.” “He mumbled gibberish, coincidentally mentioned AN Aegon, and I perceived it as I wanted to.” There. Fixed it for you, Queen.💁🏼‍♀️

Viserys has obviously been sick for YEARS. Why is no one questioning the context of his last words when he could’ve passed on at any time for literally for a while now? It’s not as though he was in some accident and had the forethought to understand that he was about to pass.

Lord Beesbury is a real one.

Criston Cole had to have always had a darkness in him. A rejection from a woman in his youth is not enough justification to explain the man he has become.

Lord Jason really is spineless, isn’t he?😂

I NEEEED Ser Harold to flock to Rhaenyra’s cause.

Ser Criston: “Every woman is an image of their mother, to be spoken of with reverence.” ALSO Ser Criston: calls Rhaenyra a c*nt.

GODDDDSSS I detest Otto and Larys.

It is kind funny how light-hearted the search for Aegon feels, despite everything going on.

Maybe Aemond and Larys should commiserate about being second sons.

GODDDSSSSSSSSSSS somehow I detest Otto and Larys even MORE.

Say what you want about Alicent, but I do think she loved the King. Might not have been in love with him, but loved him as the father of her children.

Just as I feel kinda bad for Alicent, she really tries to put on the charm with Rhaenys. Rhaenys’ eyes when she started talking were EVERYTHING.

Things are definitely not over between Otto and the White Worm.

I love how the conflict between the twins is essentially reflective of how the rest of Westeros is likely to be very shortly.

I’m just counting down the days til Otto bites the dust at this point.

Larys has no loyalties. Larys has no side. Larys: a true agent of chaos.

Can we talk about how Alicent knows damn well what she’s doing when speaking with him though?👀 pleasantly surprised.

Oh gods🤮

😧

🐑

Aegon knows what’s up. It’ll be interesting to see his character development between now and the end with this in mind.

NOOOOO, not the song of ice and fire blade!!!😭

Okay, this version of The Green Dress/Hightower/We Light the Way theme playing as Aegon enters is SO. DAMN. BRILLIANT.

Interesting that it looks like both Helaena AND Aegon have been crying.

The fact that it’s Ser Crispin crowning Aegon and making the announcement irks me. It couldn’t have been anyone else? I can already think of several more appropriate people off the top of my head.

The cheers of this poorly informed crowd are just inflating this boy’s undeserving ego like a damn balloon.

Rhaenysssssssssssssssss❤️❤️❤️ And Meleys🙌🏻 Nevermind the Greens and the Blacks. I’m team Red.❤️🐉

The only complaint I have is she could have ended it all before it even began right then and there…

Okay, so if Aegon gets Aegon the Conqueror’s crown, I’m curious if the crown Rhaenyra gets has any history/lore as well… and if so, what that is.

I’m not ready for this next episode y’all😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 (if you know, you know)

#house of the dragon #HOTD #house of the dragon spoilers #hotd spoilers #game of thrones #got

[kabukiaku]

the power of the sun....in the palm of your hand.

#my art #otto octavius #dr otto octavius #dr octopus #dr octavius #alfred molina #doc ock #spiderman 2 #spiderman no way home #spiderman nwh #no way home #marvel #marvel movies #digital art #spiderman: no way home #my gOD the character development we get for otto #happy healed otto is one of the many reasons i am still LIVING

[sinematically]

WELL then, MCU managed to do a wonderful job with the No Way Home. SUCH a good job.

I’m sure people are going to hate it but, I just have to say as someone who’s watched every Spiderman movie in a cinema hall - god this was so worth the wait for me

Bless you for bringing back the same Spiderman vibe I grew up on, this was such a satisfying end to Holland’s trilogy.

This is just a stream of thought rant/review so,,, let’s go baby. First the non-spoiler parts that we already knew about the movie.

- the villains. very MCU of them. A lot of people assumed it was a disservice to bring them back, but MCU did it them right.

- Max (Electro) was adorable and dumb, major himbo energy in this one but that was about it (biased cause I don’t really like Jamie Fox a lot)

- Otto Octavius my beloved, they did you right!! I mean I was worried they would do him dirty but the DIDN’T (or at least In my opinion they didn’t and I’m so happy!!)

- WILLEM DAFOE MY BELOVED, he did such a wonderful and beautiful job. Norman Osborn is going thru it and they SHOWED us

- Lizard was chilling vibes & Sandman was tired

- Strange was funny, and he was in the movie exactly the right amount. Just right. Not too much, not too little. It was perfectly stand alone (in whatever way Marvel allows for Stand alone now)

Spoilers here on out

- oh they pulled it off. They pulled it off SO well. Seeing Andrew and Tobey made me 6 years old again. It made me 12 years old again. It made me baby. I felt all my years of being alive. I LOVED IT

- GOD THEYRE ALL SUCH DORKS AND I LOVE THEIR PETER-NESS!! So beautiful. So well done!!

- MJ AND PETE (Ramiverse) MADE IT! GOD IM SO HAPPY!!

- Loss!! GUILT!! THE WAY PETER GRIEVED GWEN!! They mentioned Harry but I wanted more but also is okay but man,, that was something.

- FUCK YOU MARVEL FOR WHAT YOU DID TO MAY PARKER BY THE WAY HOW DARE YOU!!????!!!

- BUT THAT YOU FOR LETTING ANDREW!SPIDERMAN SAVE MJ BECAUSE WE NEEDED THAT. HE NEEDED THAT. He needed to know he saved SOMEONE, even if it wasn’t the love of his life, he saved Peters MJ and that’s what matters

- I appreciate the way MCU’s created it’s own narrative, with May taking Ben’s role, but also Tony took Ben’s in a different way. I like what they did, and I really fucking appreciate it cause it felt like a Spiderman movie after so long

- Making them forget Peter. God that was such a good move, because again they pulled it off. Peter Parker went from the MCU Spiderman to the friendly neighbourhood Spiderman

- that was satisfying!! That was SO satisfying. He see’s MJ and a part of me went, “oh, they’re starting over” which is beautiful but I also think he saw her wounds and decided that he didn’t wanna bring her into this. Not now. Maybe never, but she did promise to find him if he didn’t, and I know it’ll happen. But he’ll wait till it’s right, and god that’s character development.

- at the start of the movie he was still naive? Still wanted it all - which is why he even went to Strange. And strange was SO annoyed lmao I love it.

- But Peter made almost the ultimate sacrifice, after all the loss he went through he still gave up the one thing he had left, cause he had to do the ‘right thing’. He did it.

- IDK how Tom did it but Spiderman seems like less of a kid. Like Peter finally grew up. Is it cause he moved out (INTO THE SAME HOUSE TOBEY!PETER LIVED IN???) or like, idk?? But he did it 😭

- Peter went through a lot of trauma but he’s okay now, we know he is. He’s gonna be fine. And he’s got this on his own.

- the suit at the end?? I LOVE WHAT THE IMPLICATIONS OF IT!! HES DOING THIS ON HIS OWN. It’s all him now.

- The way they treated stark tech made me really ?? at the beginning but I get it. It’s a Spiderman post-Tony era. Post-Stark. In a way, post-MCU vibe? Like idk what it is, but it feels like a Peter Parker who’s just… Peter the kid who has a Burt load of responsibility but he’s ok

- It’s like seeing the other Peter’s, and seeing what they went through? It helped. He knows he’s not alone in the world even though he lost ALL of them. But god, the pains nothing and everything all at once

- MATT MURDOCK SUPREMACY I LOVE U?? I didn’t know how much I missed him till right now but baby Matt, you’re the highlight of my week (After Andrew!Spiderman)

- Venom end credit scene I love u so much for not taking away my gay married couple away from me?? I was so scared they would trap him in this MCU-verse and they’d play down the chaotic due that is Venom & Eddie

- MULTIVERSE OF MADNESS SNEAK PEAK!! God seeing Wanda was serotonin and I’m so happy

- the more I think about it the less there is to it. It felt like watching an event unfold? So much happened and it wasn’t that all over the place. Which means gonna watch it a second time yes. I said I would for eternals but never did. This deserves a second time I think.

- GOD I CANT BELIEVE THEY PULLED IT OFF STILL?? Like sure there were leaks and all but, it was good. Pure. Happy. Nice. Lovely. I love it

- THANK YOU FOR GIVING NED GROWTH!! It’s weird you did it with Magic, ok Disney? but I’m so glad he’s not just Ned Leeds, thirdwheel and guy in the chair for spiderman. GIVE MORE WORK TO JACOB I LOVE WHAT HES DOING

- I wish you made MJ… more? But this is another post i think. I’m blinded by Tomdaya so no comments for now. MJ and Pete r lovely

I’m just gonna add to this in a while. The plot holes will surface but right now I can’t think of the more obvious ones??

#marvel #marvel cinematic universe #spiderman: no way home #spiderman #spiderman nwh #nwh #nwh spoilers #Tom Holland #Andrew Garfield #tobey maguire #ramiverse #mcu spiderman #tom holland spiderman

[sketch-mer-6195]

What is the trope you think people should give a chance when reading and/or writing?

Probably going back to "The Chosen One" Trope or the "Redeemed Villain" Trope. Many say that the chosen one has been killed because of Harry Potter, which I still love to this day, but it can always build up to that trope instead of just saying "This bruh is the chosen one, dude." No! Build it. Give it time. Build the suspense. Give multiple characters time to develop and grow such as in the series Wheel of Time. (Not a huge fan on the Amazon Series, but might pick up the books)

There is always different avenues to create a great Chosen character, and even changing from one when it ultimately is that one character that no one would have thought of. So, we all gotta try and find a more... creative aspect to get back into this lovely trope.

Now! To the Redeemed Villain... Oh lord... The best one I can think of (and this is really showing my age and fandom) would be Dr. Otto Octavios from Toby Maguier's Spider-Man 2. For a man to try and gather the money from robbing banks, to create a machine that can make a sun and learn from it, and to ultimately sacrifice himself to protect his friends, Parker, and NYC. Oh God, he tries what he thinks is right and to prove naysayers that he can do it for the good of science.

Although he causes havoc and destruction, he tries to do this for a good cause.

Villains, a majority, are always portrayed as those to destroy. But rarely do we see the true intentions in books and movies. So to see this type of a trope is sometimes a breath of fresh air.

#asking mercedes #thank you

[kamilah-the-bloodqueen]

Chapter I: The Detective

Notes: I have decided that I am going to rewrite my Mafia AU with (hopefully) better quality overall (plot, exposition, character development, angst, slowburn, etc). If not for the sake of better quality - then let’s just say it’s for my own entertainment and I’ll select a different name for this AU. I am still working on ‘Remember Me’ and ‘The Cafe’ which are also 2 AUs I have in the works in addition to the dozens of one-shots and fic requests I also am working on - this AU just came to my mind and it’s flowing really well so I’m writing it now. I’ll put the rest of my rambling in the tags. 

Pairing: Kamilah x MC (Amy Donovan)

Word Count: 2111 (Aiming for 4000+ words per chapter after this one)

Tags: @samanthadalton @cloud9in @shows-simp-card @alleycat97 @veenast @maskedalienfreak (If you’d like to be added/removed please let me know - also specify if you’d only like to be tagged for this series or all my work etc etc.)

Warnings: Violence, Blood, Language, Graphic Concepts, Death (Please be cautious - the theme is pretty dark and some of these chapters will be graphic so if you feel hesitant at all feel free to skip those chapters - I’ll try to make the story flow even if you do skip them :) )

“Stay with me, don’t leave me please god no please...Ashton...no…” Amy sobbed as she held her dying brother in her arms, his blood spilling onto her white blouse as she held his head close to her heart. She desperately placed a hand over the bullet wound in his chest as tears rolled down her face. Her heart broke with every small gasp that left his paled lips, she cupped his face in an urgent attempt to meet his eyes one last time as she said goodbye to her best friend. “Damn it...you...I love you..I love you okay? I’ve always loved you...god I’m so sorry...I’m so sorry…I...I’m going to avenge you...I swear I will..” She rocked back and forth with his corpse in her arms as the distant sound of police sirens grew nearer and nearer. 

“Amy...promise...promise…” Ashton gasped as his body grew colder by the second as blood spurted from his mouth, “promise you’ll live your life for me…” His low voice faded into a whisper and then to silence as police cars pulled up to the heartbreaking scene. Several FBI agents stepped out of their vehicles, most of them moving around the site and keeping their distance from Amy, only one of them stepping towards her as she spoke in a soft whisper. 

“I...I promise...Ashton…” 

The soft footsteps of the agent stopped behind her as she let out a long shaky breath, her arms gently lowering her brother’s corpse onto the pavement. 

“Marco...I...I have to avenge him.” Amy stood with confidence, her sadness replaced by a burning fury that was unparalleled to any anger she had ever felt in her life. Her bloody hands curled into tight fists as she reached for her gun, glocking it and placing it into her messy hidden holster. 

“Amy...just...breathe...maybe it’s better for someone else to take this one. We don’t want you to get hurt or to make any rash decisions-” Marco placed his hands in the air as Amy furiously turned to him, her brown eyes burning right through him as she stepped towards him. 

“My brother was just killed..no...brutally murdered by the Mafia and you’re telling me I can’t take the case so that I may avenge my brother? You think that I can’t handle this line of work Marco?” Amy’s voice was calm despite her posture, she closed her eyes and took a deep breath as she let her shoulders relax. “I can assure you, if anyone should take this case, it should be me. I’m young but I’m experienced - I come from a long line of FBI agents and you damn well know I can handle myself in a fight.” 

“Well, it’s not my decision to make but I’m sure we can talk to Otto about it. He likes you and he knows you’re effective - I don’t doubt that he’ll let you handle this case...and that’s why I suggested for you not to take it but I suppose you’re also our best agent for the job…” Marco lowered his voice as Amy sighed with a soft chuckle, her soft eyes meeting his before she began walking towards the black jeep. 

“Marco, if you thought I was a driven investigator when it’s not personal...you have no idea what I am capable of when it is personal…” Amy popped the jeep door open and started the engine as Marco frowned through the driver’s window. They exchanged a silent nod of agreement as Amy sped off towards their headquarters while Marco turned back to the bloody scene, letting out a soft whisper as he regained his composure. 

“...that’s what I’m afraid of Donovan…” 

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Amy parked the jeep in her executive parking space with a screech, as her heavy footsteps rang through the empty garage. She sighed to herself as she approached HQ, making sure her gun had its safety on and that she looked somewhat composed despite her blood stained clothes and obviously puffy eyes. She pushed the doors open as everyone turned to her, their faces stricken with shock and fear as she strided towards Otto’s office. 

“Otto.” She threw the door open as a sturdy old man looked up from his disorganized desk, his gaze shifting from shock to empathetic as Amy leaned over with both her hands resting on the desk.

“Donovan I know what you’re going to ask and the case is yours.” Otto met her gaze as Amy let out a sigh of relief, letting her shoulders slump as she seated herself across from the man. 

“Thank god, I thought I was going to have to threaten you or something. Do you have the files for me?” 

“They’ve already been sent to your office, along with proper equipment, your team debriefing, and a generous amount of funding - so you better be the woman for the job.” 

“Perfect, you’re always a step ahead of me when it comes to these types of things Otto.”

“That’s the only way we’d survive Amy. Now, onto more important matters, are you alright darlin? That...when Maria heard the gunshots and the screaming...and then the crying...we...we all knew what was happening. If you need a few days, or even a week or longer before you start...just let us know...no need to jump right to it if you need the time to grieve.” Otto leaned back in his leather chair, his hands gently placed over Amy’s as he scrunched his nose in an attempt to shift his glasses up. 

“I appreciate it Otto, but if I’m going to be effective, it’s going to be best to start working now while the tracks are fresh. Can I get Mituso to run diagnostics on any fingerprints on that gun? I doubt we need an autopsy but I don’t mind letting Ashton’s body be studied for a few days before the funeral.”

“Alright Donovan, if you say you’re fine then I believe you. Yes I can get Mistuso to run an Autopsy, why don’t you head to your office to clean yourself up and then debrief. If we get any information we’ll email it to you and let you know, meanwhile if you come to any conclusions on your own about the case, well, you know how to handle it.”

“I’ll see myself out then, thank you Otto.” 

Amy softly shut his office door before striding to the elevators and hitting the ‘up’ button. A tall man approached her from behind and placed a firm hand on her shoulders as the elevator dinged upon arrival. She slowly stepped through the doors, her hand hitting the button for the eighth floor as she rested her head on the wall. Once the elevator doors opened she made her way towards her private bathroom, allowing herself to undress and change into a similar outfit, except the blouse, pants, shoes and everything else was black. She sized herself up in the mirror, satisfied in her appearance before she made her way towards her office. The doors opened after she scanned her photo ID and tears rolled down her face as she met the eyes of the man slumped at her desk. 

“Jackson...I…” Amy hurried to hug him, knowing it was as hard on him as it was on her. 

“Ames...did...did he suffer? Tell me he didn’t suffer…” Jackson’s eyes dripped with tears as Amy held him close. 

“I...if he did...I...just don’t think about it Jackson…” 

“I loved him. We were all like family, I...god Amy I was going to propose to him and now I’ll never get the chance…” 

“Jackson...I’m...I...I’m sorry…” 

Tears streamed down their faces as they stood there together, the sound of their sniffles and sobs filling the office before they pulled apart. 

“Otto doesn’t usually let someone from my department work in cases like this but...he let me petition and I’m in your squad.” 

“Jackson...can...okay…” 

“I can handle it Amy. If you’re allowed to work on this case...then I think I should be able to work on it too.” 

“Fair point. We need to start now though, despite our grief we’re going to get the best leads while it’s fresh. I want these bastards to pay for what they did with blood.” Amy slammed her fist into the table as Jackson slid her a hefty stack of beige files. 

“I assume these are the leads we have right now?” 

“Yes, although there’s not as many as there appears to be. We know who killed him, and we know who he works for but the issue is...well...I’ll let you have a look for yourself. I’m going to go talk to Otto about upgrading my rifles, I’m going to need more than a sniper rifle for this case.” 

“Alright, call me if you need me later Jackson. I’ll be here all night looking over all of this.”

“Yeah. See you Amy.”

“Jackson?”

“Stay safe out there okay? You’re the last person I’ve got now…”

“You too Amy, I’ll rendezvous with you tomorrow.”

The door clicked shut as Amy rested her head in her hands. She winced softly as all of her physical injuries caught up to her, her legs growing sore from all the chasing, her arms sore from the hand to hand combat, the cuts and bruises on her torso and head finally coming to light as she felt a wave of exhaustion overtake her. 

“There ain’t no rest for the wicked.” Amy mumbled to herself as she pulled out her coffee maker and brewed herself a generous portion of coffee. As she finished pouring the coffee, she caught sight of the frame resting on her desk - with a photo of her with her family at the beach. She shortly found herself breaking down after, as she held the frame in her chest, her whole body shaking with anger, sadness, fear and shock as she reminisced on when her family wasn’t all dead. “I...how can I do this…? No...I have to do this...or I have to die trying…” 

Amy shakily brought herself to her feet, gently placing the photo back onto her desk as she sipped on her coffee and began scanning the files. There was no question about the assailant, or his employer - it was the level of difficulty that was the issue. Killing a lower level hitman in the mafia was no fuss for the FBI - those targets were messy and unimportant to the mafia, so there was no major backfire after those eliminations. Amy opened the four files that laid on her desk, taking in the four faces that rested within each. 

Antonio Santiago

Marksman - Hitman (Level 8) 

Description: Male; Strong build with broad shoulders; Brown hair - usually shaggy or slicked back; Right handed; Tends to dress in black and white with a leather jacket; Light Brown eyes

Age: 26

Height: 5’11 

Warnings: Typically carries two handguns, a concealed knife, peppery spray, taser and has assault rifles hidden within his vehicles

Total Assassinations: 27 

Amy picked up his photo, taking in the face of her brother’s murderer - his description was pretty generic but after taking in the photo Amy knew she’d be able to recognize his nose on the spot. 

“It’s crooked, oooh when I get my hands on you Antonio - I’m going to punch you in the nose so fucking hard it’ll be straight. I’ll make sure of it.” Amy calmed herself down, knowing she’d lose her leads if she lost control and didn’t plan accordingly. She closed his file and pushed it aside as she reached for the other person file, waiting to read over the two previous incident cases later. 

Kamilah Sayeed

Primary Mafia Arms Dealer and Top Assassin

Description: Female; Lean and Muscular build; Medium length brown hair - either in a ponytail or worn down; Brown eyes; Ambidextrous; Tends to dress in a black or maroon suit with heels

Age: 30

Height: 6’0

Warnings: Carries two concealed handguns at all times; Usually accompanied by two or more discrete bodyguards; UNSAFE TO ENGAGE ALONE; Very skilled in hand to hand combat; Seductive and Flirtatious; Ruthless and Merciless

Total Assassinations: 288 

Amy gazed at the woman’s image, captivated by the depth of her eyes as she narrowed her sight. The woman was beautiful, but deadly and Amy knew that. 

“It’s always the pretty ones that are psycho…” Amy laughed lightly as she folded the file and collapsed into her chair. She closed her eyes and rested her hands on her desk as she slowly drifted off to sleep. 

#kamilah sayeed #kamilah x mc #kamilah the bloodqueen post #okay so heres the thing is that I really wanted to be able to improve this series #and im not writing it because i dont like the original version #i just think seeing the changes i make is cool as well as how i have changed as a writer #plus this fic had my creative juices flowing #and when i write one fic it usually means my other inspo follows behind #because ill get an idea for a chapter that doesnt fit in the current series so i shift to another #and they all kind of feed into each other which is nice #but if this fic flops then I NEVER POSTED IT AND IT NEVER EXISTED #i swear i dont count notes but it can def hurt my confidence #but tbh its also tumblr and i dont care that much #if that makes any sense #but yes reblogs are appreciated and so are likes and comments make my heart happy #like please give me feedback #what did you like #what didnt you like #what do you want to see #what do you want to see less of #what do you think will happen #i love that shit okay so dont ever feel like im not reading them #also i apologize for such a long wait on my series and fics #i like the inspo to come naturally so it flows better #and i feel like those spontaneous fics do better and are written better than the ones i force myself to write #i do plan to finish all of them #anyways i am also sorry for such a long tag #my god i like to talk a lot #im also thinking of rewriting BB smut and fluff scenes #also gonna rewrite FA with my spins and shit if i can

[thevindicativevordan]

Big 2 Comics Terminology for Beginners

As a kid trying to get into comics there were a lot of terms being used in regards to Marvel and DC that I didn’t really understand. When I would ask other more knowledgeable people who had been around longer to explain, I typically got condescending looks of pity. “Oh God a newbie” was the thought clearly flowing through their head. Those in the know didn’t have any interest in explaining to those outside how things worked, all the better to keep the fandom “pure”. 

In the interest of providing an explanation for terms crucial to understanding how the Big 2 operate, and as a way to kick off this blog, I thought I’d try my hand at explaining what the many words used when talking about DC and Marvel actually mean. That way when I use the words you know what I mean and you’re not confused by how I’m using these words.

Bear in mind that some people will use multiple words interchangeably, all the better to confuse you with. I believe the following definitions will provide the most clarity however.

Continuity - This word is crucial to understanding the words that follow so we’ll start with it. At it’s most basic, continuity means the stories that are acknowledged and built upon by the stories that come after as having “happened”. For example, over at Marvel, Stan Lee and Steve Dikto’s origin issue of Spider-Man in Amazing Fantasy #15 is still in continuity. When writers and artists do flashbacks to Peter Parker’s origin, that issue is what they are referencing. In contrast, the Siegel and Shuster Action Comics #1 issue that contained Superman’s origin is no longer in continuity. Superman was not found by a passing motorist, raised in an orphanage, and had his powers as a baby. That’s no longer in continuity, stories in the mainline won’t reference it as having “happened”. 

Continuity is a tricky beast at the Big 2, warped by reboots, retcons, reveals, and just plain old passage of time. The Big 2 are obsessed with trying to keep continuity accessible and understandable to new readers, hardcore fans are obsessed with making sure their favorite stories are referenced and maintained as “important” and having “happened”. This tug of war, as you might imagine, causes problems.

Canon - This word designates the stories that are in continuity. A “canon” story happened, “matters”, is referenced to, and is built upon.

 Reboot - Here’s a big one. If you’re a fan of DC you know this word. You’ve probably heard it used several times to describe everything from the New 52, to DC You, to Rebirth, to Infinite Frontier. However the only one to me that actually qualifies as a reboot is the New 52.

Reboots take a well known franchise and starts it over from the beginning. Basically it’s as if a franchise is debuting for the first time with none of the previous stories mattering at all. Or at least that’s  supposed to be the intention, in practice it’s not that simple. There are actually two sub-types of reboots: hard and soft.

Hard Reboot - This is what a reboot is “supposed” to be. A clean slate upon which writers can start over from scratch. None of the previous stories are taken to have happened, none of the previous character development is in play, the old relationship statuses aren’t where the characters are now, characters can have any of their traits (race, sexuality, gender, personality, etc) changed, etc. In short anything goes. This is what DC did for Justice League for the New 52. The team had a totally new origin, a new roster where a mainstay like Martian Manhunter was swapped out for Cyborg, Cyborg was never a Titan and was a founding League member, etc. Superman, Wonder Woman, Aquaman, Flash, and Cyborg all got hard reboots.

Soft Reboot - This is where things get confusing. Basically it’s a reboot... but not really. The intent is the same, start over, but some stories carry over, some character development holds true still, etc. Basically trying to have your cake and eat it too. With the New 52, both Batman and Green Lantern got soft rebooted. Bruce was no longer and older 30-40 year old guy, now he was in his late twenties like the rest of the League, and all his old pre-Flashpoint continuity got carried over, except somehow compressed to have taken place in 5 years. Also he never wore the old costumes (such as the old blue cape and cowl with the yellow oval Bat-symbol). Green Lantern carried over likewise, Hal was younger and everything from Johns run or referenced by Johns run still “happened”. Somehow. Even though stuff like Blackest Night didn’t make any damn sense anymore, that happened, just not the way it actually happened in the Blackest Night issues you read.

You may notice that the two franchises that didn’t get rebooted were the two that were doing just fine Pre-Flashpoint sales-wise and critics-wise. Shocker I know. Reboots are intended to revive struggling franchises that are suffering from creative decay, and are in need of dramatic shake-ups.

Relaunch - Often confused with reboot, this word actually means something different. Relaunches typically aren’t about wholesale erasure of continuity. Instead what they mean is DC and Marvel take a bunch of their ongoing series and restart the numbering while also swapping around the creative teams. So if you’re reading Hulk #210 written by Al Ewing and drawn by Aaron Kuder (this is just a made up example), when the relaunch hits, next month you may be reading Hulk #1 by Ewing and Kuder, or you might be reading Unstoppable Hulk #1 by Ewing and Kuder, or Ewing and a new artist, or maybe even a new writer and artist creative team all together! 

Very clear and non-confusing I know. However the previous run you were reading before the relaunch still happened, and is still in continuity. Relaunches are typically used to advertise big new changes in direction. Stuff like Otto Octavious becoming Spider-Man or Jane Foster becoming Thor, that’s stuff that typically leads to a new #1, at least at Marvel. 

Marvel NOW! is an example of a relaunch. Bunch of old ongoings got relaunched with new #1′s, creative teams got shuffled around, and also new series got announced which is typical for relaunches. Note that reboots also typically coincide with relaunches, as happened at DC with the New 52, but not always. The Post Crisis reboot did not result in Action Comics or Detective Comics getting relaunched for example.

Retcon - These are when stories go back and change the events of previous stories. Stuff that was previously thought to be true no longer is, relationships are changed, characters are modified, etc. However the stories still happened, just not the way we thought they did when we read them. Perfect example of this is one of the most hated retcons ever, One More Day. This story ended with Peter and MJ never having been married. All the previous stories still happened, but they were just boyfriend/girlfriend living together and not husband and wife. It’s the perfect example of how retcons can piss readers off.

But retcons don’t always have to piss people off. One of the best received retcons was Alan Moore retconning that Swamp Thing was a living plant who absorbed Alec’s memories and merely thought he was Alec. In reality he was something else entirely. All of the previous Swamp Thing stories still happened, they were still canon and in continuity, but our understanding of them changed. 

Reveal - This is when the readers are made aware of something that changes the context of the story they’ve been reading. All retcons are reveals but not all reveals are retcons. How to explain the difference? Here’s how I define the difference between the two:

A retcon is when a writer changes something that the writer previously thought to be true. This could be one writer retconning another, or a writer retconning themselves. For example George Lucas retconned that Darth Vader was Luke Skywalker’s father Anakin. That was not the intention when he made A New Hope, the two were separate characters. Another retcon is when Geoff Johns revealed that Superboy/Kon-El was the hybrid clone of Superman and Lex Luthor. That was not the original intention when Kon was created by the writers who created him.

A reveal is when the writer changes something that the readers thought to be true. A previously heroic appearing character is actually a villain in disguise, and they were always intended as such. See Terra in Wolfman and Perez’s Teen Titans for an example.

I think that’s enough for one post, I may make another intro post to explain other terminology, but this feels like a pretty good place to stop for now.

#dc #marvel #terminology #comics #superman #batman #green lantern #new 52

[ghostiepopcorn]

Why ‘War of the Worlds’ (2005) is a underrated masterpiece.

‘War of the Worlds’ was released in 2005, it is directed by the film god that is Steven Spielberg (Jaws, E.T.) and written by Josh Friedman (Terminator: Dark Fate, Avatar 2) and David Koepp (Jurassic Park, Mission: Impossible) 

Cast:  - Tom Cruise as Ray Farrier. - Justin Chatwin as Robbie Farrier. - Dakota Fanning as Rachel Farrier. - Miranda Otto as Mary Ann. -Tim Robbins as Harlan Ogilvy. - Ann Robinson as Grandmother.  - Gene Barry as Grandfather. 

First lets start with some history of ‘The War of the Worlds’ - The 2005 film is based off the novel of the same name which was written by H.G. Wells between 1895 and 1897, it then was then made into a series by Pearson’s Magazine in 1897 in the UK, Cosmopolitan in the US. Then becoming a hardback novel in 1898, it is one of the earliest written pieces to tell a story of conflict between Martians and man and so its one of the most commented on pieces of science fiction. 

It has been adapted and developed several times over many decades in many medias, the ones that come to mind are the famous 1938 dramatic radio reading that was directed and starred Orson Welles that actually caused public panic to those who listened in and didn’t know that the Martian invasion was fiction, its said that up to a million people ran out of their homes in terror.  (Source: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_War_of_the_Worlds_(1938_radio_drama) )

The 1953 ‘The War of the Worlds’ film adaptation, which was produced by George Pal and directed by Byron Haskin. It also starred Gene Barry (who played Dr. Clayton Forrester) and Ann Robinson (who played Sylvia Van Buren) who can also been seen at the end of the 2005 film, they play the grandparents of Robbie and Rachel which I think is a sweet little cameo to see for those who loved the 1953 film.  Ann Robinson also revived her role as Sylvia Van Buren in two other films and three episodes of ‘The War of the Worlds’ tv series in 1988. 

In 1978 the most well known musical album by Jeff Wayne was produced and based off the story of ‘War of the Worlds’ this album included the voices of Richard Burton and David Essex.

This was then turned into a concert musical which tours annually through out the UK and Europe, the concert includes live performers such as Carrie Hope Fletcher but also a 3D hologram of Liam Neeson. It also includes a mix of computer animation, pyrotechnics and a big mechanical tripod that comes out on stage and lights up and can fire its heat-ray. 

(Source: Birmingham Mail.)

There have also been several Tv series, the two newest being the 2019 BBC version staring Poldark’s Eleanor Tomlinson and Full Monty’s Robert Carlyle, that has a Edwardian setting and follows closely to the novel. 

The other being the FOX 2019 adaptation that is set in present day Europe but I found this version didn’t really go off the novel, and was frustrated with the lack of the famous Tripods.  (Source: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_War_of_the_Worlds) 

As a kid I would watch the 1953 film with my mum all the time as its one of her favourites and I do really like it, but then 2005 rolled around and in comes Steven Spielberg’s version. To be fair it was probably 2006 when I finally saw it, I was nine years old at the time and I remember my dad bringing home the DVD that someone at work had lent him. I don’t remember watching it but I do remember having nightmares for a month after, only for a month though.  Many years later when I was half way through high school and getting more and more into film my dad then bought the DVD from Woolworth's before it shut down, the DVD didn’t have a case only a see through CD case so I think it only cost him something like 50p. So I re-watched and again I don’t really remember this but all of a sudden I was hooked, and it climbed to the second spot on my favourite movies list where it still sits today. Honestly if you asked anyone I was friends with at that time they will tell you just how obsessed I was with it.  

I have many scenes that I love in this film the first being the rise of the first tripod, but there are two that I geek out over every time. 

The first scene being the one in the basement at Robbie and Rachel’s house, the scene starts off with Ray asleep in a chair. He starts to stir when when a blue flash of light on his face, but then jolts up right at a load whooshing noise followed by closely by Robbie shooting up from just below the camera. I love the way that Robbie appears sort of fits with the sound that’s heard, also the whole mood of the scene which is pitch black with this blue flashing light every now and then. The fact that you’re just as clueless as the characters as well, you find out what’s happening when they find out.  Also the way that Rachel appears behind the basement stairs, which will appear again near the end of the movie in a much more damaged basement which shows just how much their world has changed in just a short few days.  The sound design in this movie as well is something that I love, I love when the sound in a film alone can creep you out. The tripod sound is one of my favourite sounds to exist, like if I heard that from outside I would be so creeped out and scared.  At this moment in time Robbie and Rachel have no idea what is hunting them or what Ray has seen, Imagine running from something and seeing something completely destroy the whole of your neighbourhood yet not knowing what it looks like. This is what runs through my mind when I heart Rachel cry “Is it them, Is it them?!”  Then the next morning when Ray goes upstairs and see’s that the house is just completely destroyed by an aeroplane that has crashed down in the middle of the the housing estate. This Boeing 747 was a out of use plane and the production crew bought it for $60,000 which then cost them $200,000 to transport, it was then broken into pieces and houses were built around it. Which just shows how far some movie productions will go to make a film look more legit. (We love practical effects in this house.) This scene is still set up at Universal Studios Hollywood and can be seen on the Studio tour. 

(Basement and Plane crash scene.)

My second favourite scene, which is one of my all time top favourite scene ever with no surprise is the dock scene.  The speeding train that’s on fire is absolute stunning in every sense but for me the scene starts when the music starts.  ‘If I ruled the world, everyday would be the first day of spring.’ But i’m really glued to the screen when Rachel starts to follow the birds coming in from the river to in land, she follows them up to the hill where she notices the tree’s on the top are moving weirdly. “The tree’s are funny.” She then reaches out and grabs onto Rays hand who was talking to a friend.  Robbie turns to the hill as the camera slowly comes back and shows Robbie also turning to look at where Ray is looking. (Just remembering that this is the first time Robbie and Rachel ever see the tripods.) 

The camera then shows us what the family is looking at to reveal a tripod stood on the top of the hill, it then moves one of its legs which crushes a tree and makes everyone else look back. Obviously chaos ensues from this point on, everyone running trying to get onto the ferry to get away from the impending doom, unfortunately we learn that no where, not even on the water is safe. As a tripod comes up from out of the water and attacks the ferry, the family manage to escape and get to land on the other side of the ferry. They stop for a moment to catch their breath as people are being picked out of the water below them, they turn as a old air raid alarm is heard on the other side of the hill and we see tripods coming over another hill that was filled with people and using their head rays to wipe them all out, we also see in the distance a lighting storm indicating more Martions are still coming to earth. The scene is like a depiction of all the stages of the attack.  (Dock attack scene.)

I mean all the action scenes in this movie are just so beautiful and amazing, but did we expect any less from Spielberg? And the CGI and practical are all done extremely well and fitted together to make a scene look as real as possible. One of the art directors that worked on this film, Doug J. Meerdink who has also worked on Jurassic Park: III, Cloverfield and Jurassic World. 

I was looking up some trivia on IMDB for this movie and found that there was a deleted scene that is called the ‘Camelot’ scene. This scene is supposed to take place between the attack on the ferry and the battle on the hill, it involves Ray, Rachel and Robbie walking through an abandoned housing estate that’s named Camelot, when a pack of tripods start walking near by.  One of the tripods breaks off and the family has to take cover behind a SUV, they watch helplessly from behind as the tripod reaches into the house and grabs people from the houses. This scene has never been released but apparently it was fully finished, VFX and all but then taken out a few weeks before post production was wrapped up.  There is only one official video from this scene that was in the actual trailer for the film, and it’s only a shot of the family hiding behind the SUV. 

The only other shot from the scene is this landscape shot of a CGI tripod. 

There are also photos of the set designers setting up the miniature of the housing estate to shoot this scene, the rest are fan arts of how the scene maybe looked/ played out.  (Source)

I really hope that one day Steven releases this scene, or for some anniversary adds it into an extended version of the film like we’ve seen for other films. Because I would love that so much! It seems like such an incredible scene, and to see the tripods up this close again would be so cool! 

One of the trailers that was released for this film doesn’t have any of the film shots it in, It takes place in a normal neighbourhood where people are just going about their normal nightly routine when suddenly over the hill there are all these brilliant flashing lights, everyone's just coming out of their houses in their pj’s and standing in the street marvelling at this sight in front of them. Then we see explosions and suddenly heat rays are blowing up the tress on the street which then goes into the title.  I just love this, a trailer that doesn’t give anything away from the movie but creeps you out enough to be invested.  (Trailer.)

All in all it’s just an very visually pleasing film, it feels real enough to give you a sense of fear for the characters and for yourself. I also love that Steven stayed true to the source material,more truer than some of the other adaptations and also added in his own little Easter eggs.  The sounds, the aesthetic, the colours just everything comes together so beautifully. I think its a very underrated movie that deserves so much more love.

#war of the worlds #war of the worlds 2005 #robbie farrier #ray farrier #rachel farrier #steven spielberg #movie #film #film talk #tom cruise #dakota fanning #justin chatwin #the war of the worlds #not really a film review #i just wanted to talk about my love for this film

[formless-monkeys]

What is your favorite relationship(s) in the show (romantically or platonically, doesn’t matter!)

Anon you will regret opening pandora’s box. Or not. In any case, this post is going to be very long because I’m full of love. Also, anything marked romantic does not need to be romantic for me to lose my shit over them. In no particular order, either. Just in the order I thought of them.

1. The Black-eyed trio

Characters: Otto, Sparx, and Gibson.

Type: Platonic, Romantic,

Explanation: These three are grouped together by virtue of not being obscenely powerful and serving more practical uses on the team. Also, their eyes are all the same color. Besides the poetic connections of the colors of their design, they were alone in the robot together while the other three monkeys were out training.

Sparx and Gibson’s interactions give me life, going from playful jabs to genuine fighting right back to ride-or-die is amazing. The beginning of Night Of Fear, the battles in Brothers In Arms, and a bunch of small moments throughout the series are wonderful for this.

I could write an essay about Otto and Gibson, and someone else already has, but I’ll summarize it as ADHD autism solidarity with a side of Shut The Fuck Up Gibson. They care about each other and learn to respect each other in a way that’s better for both of them. I know a real-life Gibson to my Otto and learning that she’s just pretentious and doesn’t really hate anyone, and figuring out that we’re both equally brilliant and incredibly similar has made life a million times better.

Otto and Sparx don’t have as much development as Gibson with both of them, but their jokes together and general trust is amazing. Sparx is the dumb monkey and Otto supports him in his himbo endeavors. 

These three together make an unstoppable technical team, and the only reason they probably couldn’t be a superhero team on their own is because of the raw power and fun dynamics brought by the other half of the team. 

Romantically, these three would make the DUMBEST polycule ever. There is no true mediator here. It’s three dumbasses figuring out how they could possibly share a twin-sized bed when they have the ability to just make a bigger bed. Gibson calculates the most efficient 3 monkey makeout and none of them follow the statistics. They all give Chiro equally useless and conflicting advice on homework. Trying to give them a mediator in the polycule just makes me go back to shipping polymonkeys because I literally can’t decide if Antauri or Nova go better with them.

2. Quiet trust and encouragement

Characters: Otto, Antauri

Type: Platonic, Romantic

Explanation: When Otto is being dismissed by the other monkeys, or by the show itself, Antauri is usually the first to say “that’s bullshit, Otto is wonderful”. Circus Of Ooze is a notable example, but there are little moments in other seasons as well. 

I just love the idea of the historically MOST SERIOUS and strongest monkey, sometimes even elevated to god-like status by some fanworks... paired with the monkey that has been infantilized and disrespected to no end. I personally like making Antauri have to lean on Otto, just to subvert that even further. 

Beyond spite, I ship this simply because I like their dynamic. Antauri needs someone to ground him with more tactile physical things, and Otto needs someone to share his more nebulous thoughts I can’t imagine the others listening to. I love them.

Also, I want Antauri to unlock his true dumbass potential. He has the abilities, but not the will. Be silly with Otto. I want to hear him snort-laugh.

I literally forgot all the silver monkey stuff but I got three fics about that you know I go nuts over mechanic x robot shit.

3. The monkeys and their human son.

Characters: Chiro, Antauri, Nova, Sparx, Gibson, Otto

Type: Familial

Explanation: This family gives me joy. They were forced together through astronomical means and they made the best of it. 

Everyone living in the robot is absolutely fucked up. They help each other in the darkest of times. They lift each other up when it’s light. They are a perfect team and nobody can be missing without it feeling wrong. But they can add people!

“Girl Trouble” as a concept is AMAZING to me but my secondhand embarrassment is so strong that I hate the episode. But never once is any of the monkeys resentful of Chiro. Not even Mandarin is like “wow I wish he didn’t take my place” no he’s also struck with the urge to nurture this kid to his fullest potential. Whether you see the team as a bunch of older siblings or 4 dads and a mom doesn’t really matter, they’re a family.

I mean, this also has a sprinkling of shipping all the monkeys in a really domestic way because I like seeing my optimal future in characters I like, but like literally all of these, it doesn’t need to be romantic for me to go nuts. I just think it would be fun to throw just a big monkey wedding or whatever. And funnier for Antauri to go “Chiro I’m having a baby. The baby is you” and holding up adoption papers because on the principle of Toby “Radiation” Fox I love that joke, especially when made much less weird than the original context.

I have a set of characters who is just 5 people in a polycule raising kids and living life because I really love this concept as a family.

4. Evil Coworkers

Characters: Mandarin, Sakko

Type: Romantic, Platonic,

Explanation: Why the hell are these two, in particular, working together? SK could’ve put Mandarin with literally anybody else and he chose what on the surface appears to be the LEAST compatible person on the account that they’re both monkeys. Some bitter asshole who now looks like the epitome of toxic masculinity and this tiny pink pet who used his femininity both as an advantage and a style. They’re different but it ends up working really well for both of them because they’re different in ways that cover each other’s bases. It’s wonderful. Pink and Orange go well together. Green and Purple go well together. Mandarin and Sakko go well together. Also, they clearly trust each other. During almost the entirety of “Hidden Fortress” Sakko was presumably just chilling inside of Mandarin’s armor. Mandarin trusted him enough to have Sakko in a place where he’s able to mess with his cybernetics, and Sakko trusted Mandarin enough to go into the battlefield with him and probably get tossed around.

If they were both human and in a more modern media, then they would definitely be shipped in the straightest way you can get without actually being straight. The Straightest Gay Ship. 

5. A Witch and her Accidental Evil Coworker

Characters: Skelemandarin, Valeena.

Type: Platonic, Romantic, 

Explanation: These two have been through some shit. Skelemandy was made to serve Skeleton King only to have that purpose yanked away from him. Valeena was groomed to idolize and serve Skeleton King for nearly her entire life. They were forced together by SHEER CHANCE and they both hated it. Arguably they both died at some point. 

They both have absolutely NOBODY they can trust so let’s make them trust each other. All hilarity and sweetness comes from that. 

Their dynamic is so good that I have them on a blog for a COMPLETELY DIFFERENT FANDOM and people love them with no context. 

This is the only cross-species ship I have (besides chinmay and the antauri ships but that doesn’t count), but the fact that Skelemandy isn’t actually a monkey and needs no cybernetic assistance to be human-level sentient makes it a lot less weird. Just put them on equal ground power-wise (like by nerfing Valeena’s magic) and you have the ingredients for bonding. 

They have like, no cute moments in canon, but that’s why we have fics and art. They have potential. I want them to help each other figure out who they are without their purpose. I want them to survive this horrible life together. I want them to figure out how to trust again. I want a lot but Valeena is fucking dead.

But she doesn’t have to be.

(Also Valeena is REALLY HOT and Skelemandarin is just me as a monkey)

6. Gay Dads

Characters: The Alchemist, Captain Shuggazoom

Type: Romantic, Platonic

Explanation: Oh my stars. Oh null. Oh me oh my hhougfhfakjghf. These two have the angst of Mantauri but on crack. 

They only appeared in about two episodes each and all three episodes are top tier. They call each other “Friend” multiple times in their shared episode. THEY’RE FRIENDS!!!!!!!!! The face Al makes when he realizes that Cap is visiting makes me really happy. The fact that Cap had this whole Batman Double Life thing and he shows the Alchemist BOTH OF THEM is amazing. The alchemist is a hermit living in the woods and he lets Cap into that life. 

There isn’t a lot shown, much less than everything else here. But that makes every single fanfic so much richer since they’re almost completely based on headcanons. Friends who have a mutual crush on each other but are No Homo about it? Secret boyfriends? Husbands with 6 monkey kids? An Old man and a grumpy Skeleton making it work? Literally just platonic friends? Dude, you can do whatever you want. 

The tragedy of these two losing each other to one big horrible event crushes me. It influences my every move in my creative work. I have an entire character dedicated to reuniting these two in the most astronomical and ridiculous way possible because the alchemist angered the gods but she thinks he needs some company in his eternal punishment.

I want Clayton to unlock Al’s less serious, more fun side. I want them to work together. I want them to hold hands. GHGHGHDFBG UTTHTYE CNAZSNT EBCV ASUA ER

7. The girl power duo

Characters: Nova, Jinmay

Type: Familial

Explanation: These two were my only comfort during the uncomfortable nightmare that is “The Hills Have Five”

Nova was the one who trained Jinmay, and it seems like they hang out a lot offscreen in season 4. They fulfill the early 2000′s cartoon archetypes of girl and Girl, so they’re supposed to get along. If they didn’t I probably wouldn’t like Jinmay.

Nova is a really good big sister/parental figure to Jinmay, who never had any family to speak of. 

Anyway, this entry has to be shorter because most of their bonding is in “The Hills Have Five” which is either #1 or #2 in my least favorite episode list. Not because it’s bad, but because it makes me viscerally uncomfortable. I really wish literally any other character than Jinmay was in her role in that episode. Or that the “taken to an offscreen area by an adult man while she screams” just wasn’t there. SHE’S 13!!! Nova did literally all she could to help. 

I really like that scene in questionable where Valeena kills almost the entire gang. It’s what they deserve.

Look I just really like Jinmay and I always have. She deserves a good Mom.

8. "My Second In Command”

Characters: Antauri, Mandarin

Type: Theoretical

Explanation: The fandom has really made this ship go from “literally nothing to stand on” to “integral plot point in a lot of fics”. Seriously. I have TWO screenshots that vaguely imply these two ever stood next to each other on the battlefield. This was entirely title-based and fan-made until ProjectAfectivity interviewed Ciro. Yeah he knows Antauri but only as well as the rest of the team. Anyway. Wow. This ship.

This is by far the worst breakup in history. These two, despite what Antauri says, were on equal ground at some point. According to Ciro (and fan speculation), they trained together. This (and other Mandy ship) changes wildly depending on if you think Mandarin was corrupted by the portal or not. Maybe Mandarin was once a kind leader who just crossed the wrong boundaries and paid for it. He could’ve held Antauri gently before battle. He could’ve been the monkey Antauri went to when he needed someone to talk to. He could’ve hyped the team up like Chiro does.

Or maybe, they were constantly fighting against each other in small ways. An incredibly unhealthy relationship, yes, but an interesting story. I like stories where Antauri isn’t this all-knowing pillar of stability. He’s got weaknesses. One of them may have been Mandarin.

Now that’s a good nickname from one to the other.

Imagine Antauri, in a moment of complete trust, declaring Mandarin his weakness. A sweet sentiment. They both know the other is incredibly strong, and trust that the other would never take advantage of that connection. They love each other. Until...

9. "My Closest Ally”

Characters: Otto, Mandarin

Type: Theoretical

Explanation: Okay I'm looking at the screenshot I put for this entry while also having watched Evil Ages recently. My brain is making uncomfortable connections. Combine that with the fandom and the show’s general treatment of Otto and I’m about to slam my head into a wall. I really do not like that, but I feel like there’s somebody out there who does. 

Anyway, this is Gibotto and Ottauri but with all the spice that shipping Mandarin with one of the other monkeys brings. When done well, it’s all the respecting Otto that comes with Ottauri and all the intimate partnership of Gibotto. And the Angst of Mantauri, but a lot more grounded. 

It paints a lot of stories. A story of a single point of comfort in a world Mandarin thinks is out to get him. A story of powerful validation from the one authority in Otto’s life. Of letting your guard down. Of trust, then breaking that trust.

I’d LOVE to see some things with Mandottotauri because that’s epic and cool and poggers. Don’t see a lot, though.

10.The Hets, I guess.

Characters: Jinmay, Chiro. 

Type: Romantic. Platonic. Canon.

Explanation: Look two entries on this list are polyamorous and four of them are mandarin so I have to say SOMETHING for the heteroes following me. Picked this ship over Spova because when I was a young child still suffering from comphet, I never watched the last episode of the show. I only saw up to season 3 at the most. This was the only canon ship for me. And out of all the ships, it’s the most relatable. I’m currently a teenager with black hair who looks really good in eyeliner dating a girl with pink hair who can pick me up and is unbelievably sweet. Except we’re gay and polyam. Wait a second I totally had a crush on Jinmay as a kid and now my gf is the Jinmay in this situation. Oh my god I was going to make this comparison if I did Spova too and I liked Nova.

ANYWAY

These are two LONELY kids. Chiro had bullies during school, and now he doesn’t even go to school. Jinmay hasn’t really had friends at all. Two kids with places in their universe that they aren’t too sure about, and just need someone to lean on. Their date was cute. They instantly bonded over their love of monkeys and I love that. 

The super robot is sometimes an analog for Chiro, in the first two season at least, and the way the super robot held Jinmay’s hands to keep her steady on the COB while her head flew in was SO SWEET. Chiro’s instant recognition and reaction to Jinmay’s head being thrown at the team, as well. He really loves her.

I think it’d be interesting if she didn’t love him back, though. I might take a stab at writing that.

#srmthfg #super robot monkey team hyperforce go #srmthg #chinmay #Mandotto #Mantauri #Mandareena #Manokko #Captain Alchemist #Ottauri #Polymonkeys #Gibottarx #Anonymous

[viktorhargreves]

some thoughts i have on the s2 promo stills

I think Ben is appearing either in a dream or to someone other than Klaus. The reason I believe this is the color composition for the shot and the framing. The Umbrella Academy is a dark show. Literally. And the season two promo pictures are no different from season one. Why the sudden departure from this? Promotional photos directly from the source (i.e. the production department) usually are not put through filters so this is how it will be shown in the show. So why the brightness? I think it’s either a dream or revelation (you know the cheesy trope where the sunlight streams in and someone finally pieces things together) or maybe it’s a vision that someone has of Ben. Contenders for this? No idea. But judging from the body that’s strung up on the ceiling (yeah, I didn’t forget that part) it could be Vanya. Or I could be totally wrong. Either way, the body does hint towards Klaus’ telekinesis, something he has in the comics that we have yet to see in the show (besides the suitcase debacle). 

We know that Five is the last to be sent to the 60′s so if he’s stuck in a new time with no one around what does he do? Find a mannequin and make a new friend (or something more). Maybe what we are seeing is him about to home-wreck this bitch and steal little miss blue-dress here. Or maybe he’s looking back at a different character... the villains of this season perhaps? Or maybe The Handler makes a comeback? Either way, he looks cautious and if he is looking at someone less than savory then the set up we see could be set up to mock him rather than a harmless department store display.

The paper reads: “S.J.C.C. asks... Have you experienced DISCRIMINATION by your employeer?” Not much comes up in Google for a look into who S.J.C.C. could be but I personally am SYKED to see The Umbrella Academy hopefully tackle race issues. Especially at this time in the world, it could be what people need. Also a new hairstyle for Allison which I love. I personally hope Allison is thriving but this is the 60′s and even though The Civil Rights Act was signed in ‘64, there was no across-the-board stop of segregation at once. I hope for her sake she stays safe.

Again, we know that Five is the last one to arrive. Perhaps he gathers them all to this place to tell them about the newest apocalyptic event about to take place. But a barn? Not sure why. Everyone else is dressed in back, however, even Klaus which is very telling that something is wrong. Allison has lost the hair bump (she was probably just wearing it to fit in). Luther has a beard which is very telling as well because the only other time that we have seen him with one is when he woke up from his surgery (supposedly after a long period of time) so if it was in his control he would shave it off to be the good little soldier that dad made him. Maybe being stranded in Texas in the 60′s made him depressed like we saw towards the end of season one or maybe he just wants to live a little. Diego’s outfit looks very similar to his vigilante outfit in season one but with what looks like either shoulder pads or a hoodie. This could be one of two things: he is still a vigilante using his powers for good, or he works a job like construction or something similar judging by the cross-chest harness. And Vanya. Look’s like she’s wearing a suit jacket. Peak gay. No further comment. 

GOOD GOD!!!  What to say, what to say. As it’s been pointed out already by many other users, Ben. Is. Holding. Keys. That means he is corporeal and has a physical body. Whether this is for a short period of time like when he punches Klaus in season one or if this marks the beginning of a new era of Ben-filled The Umbrella Academy is unknown. Klaus is a fashion icon. That much we been knew. Although, his beard is longer than the promo pictures despite being in the same outfit. Longer than the picture above too. I’m excited for this scene regardless of what it is about, but if I had to guess: Klaus is motioning for Ben to give the keys to him. The car broke down. Klaus gets out and tries to fix it by popping the hood, only he knows nothing about cars. He gets angry and throws the keys. Ben catches them. Klaus is then irritated and asks for them back. That’s just my take. Klaus looks like he’s smiling but it could be the natural face a person makes when they are squinting from the sun (this is Texas and those are sunglasses (also water is wet)).

#justgirlythings. Vanya is the only one who seems uncomfortable, also where are Klaus’s shoes? If you look in the background it appears this isn’t a salon as you would guess on the first look but rather someone’s house. Maybe this is a way to time travel without Five? Or some other sci-fi device like the shoot that Cha-Cha and Hazel used in season one to get their orders. Either way, there is a lot more going on here than we know from first looking and I wouldn’t put it past anyone that this is an important still to remember and keep in mind.

Iron Man references aside (thank you Justin Min), look at her entire body posture and language. Clenched jaw, clenched fists, forehead straining, eyes closed but not clenched like the others, neck straining. Vanya appears to be in the middle of nowhere so maybe she’s testing her powers? Last time we saw her testing her powers it was in the middle of the woods with Leonard so maybe this will be a good parallel. What else to do in the 60′s when you’re stranded than to try out your superpowers that you just remembered a few days ago?

Vanya! Is! Happy! She is definitely smiling and looks genuinely more happy than she did with Leonard in any event. The blonde woman is Marin Ireland who plays a character “Sissy”. Variety and Netflix have stated that Sissy is "a fearless, no-nonsense mom from Texas who married young for all the wrong reasons". Maybe, and I’m just spit-balling here, she married young because of internalized and outward homophobia that is probably rampant in the 60′s and in Texas. She meets Vanya and the two begin a relationship. Friends? Lovers? More? Vanya’s right hand is either on a gear shift (manual transmission i.e. stick shift cars were much more common in the 60′s than now) or on Sissy’s knee. I like the idea of her resting her hand on Sissy’s thigh and smiling, maybe driving off on a new life together. 

Like. The Gang’s all here, Scoob. Even Ben! Allison is talking, it seems so to have Ben in the shot is odd. Usually Ben only appears when Klaus is the main character of the shot or the scene since he can only see him. Except, maybe everyone can see him!! Klaus can summon Ben as seen in the season one finale so maybe he was able to do it for a longer amount of time. I personally really hope that we see more of Ben (which the stills lead me to believe) and that they will develop not only his character and backstory more but his powers as well. His power rivals only Vanya’s is sheer amount of destruction it can cause. The room, however, where they all are looks unassuming. It could be where Five has taken up a residence, could be a house of one of the other siblings (we know that some of them did in fact settle down and start lives in Texas), or maybe it’s just a safe place to meet as a team. Either way I am psyched!

It’s safe to assume that these are the assassins. Whether they are with the organization that The Handler was with is unclear. What is clear is that I get Stranger Things vibes from these guys. It might be the white hair and dark, cloudy road. Either way, these guys are played by Tom Sinclair, Kris Holden-Ried, and Jason Bryden left to right and they play Oscar, Axel, and Otto respectively. 

Diego, Diego, Diego. My son. Disregarding the long hair and beard completely because I refuse to acknowledge it at this point, here is my interpretation of the scene. This is a flashback in the same fashion that we had a Diego flashback in episode three of season one. That flashback had Grace helping Diego through a stutter and then in one camera motion showed current-day Diego sitting on his old bed. This could be the same kind of thing, with current-day Diego sitting where he past self was and watching a scene unfold around him. Why else would he be in his uniform? How could it fit? How could he be back in the mansion?

-----------

That’s all I have to say about it for now but my ask box is OPEN for theories, possible explanations, or hypotheses on season two or any of the promotional stills. Time travel is messy. Let’s see what happens on July 31st.

#the umbrella academy #tua #tuaedit #netflix #netflixedit #i was not paid to do this lmao #mine #mine:headcanons #shows #rm #tua spoilers