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tjkiahgb · 5 years

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Episode Recap: 3.14, “Hammer Time”

Homestretch, folks. Here we go.

Our episode begins in The Spoon, where Andi tells Buffy and Cyrus that Bex and Bowie’s wedding is off. Amber shows up and hears just enough to think Bex and Bowie broke up, but Andi’s like no, they’re just not getting married.

Amber’s like, oh, that’s not so bad.

Everyone lets that sad thought just linger in the air.

And then they move on without commenting.

I wish Amber had doubled down. “Well at least they aren’t having money troubles, right? Oh and also, my cat ran away. I don’t know if you have pets or anything, but I figured I’d just put that out there.”

Buffy and Cyrus continue to sympathize with Andi, but doing so only reminds her of the situation more and drives her further into rage. Andi feels furious about this whole thing and, what’s worse, she claims she can’t tell her parents about her fury because they told her she was entitled to her feelings.

Andi’s like, I guess that was a nice thing of them to say. It is nice. It’s mature.

Oh?

Cyrus says it’s like in dodgeball, where Andi has this ball of rage to throw at Bex and Bowie, but they’re ready for it, so they’ll just catch it.

One, that’s giving Bex and Bowie way too much credit. Manipulative suggests calculation. In no way are Bex and Bowie doing anything more than acting on instinct. They don’t have it in them.

Two, so the right thing to have done here on their part was to tell Andi to shut up? That she was overreacting, it’s not her marriage, it’s theirs so she has to deal with it, thus allowing her an opportunity to rage at them? That rage is only worthwhile if you can unleash on people by surprise? They must never see your rage coming. It should hit them in the back of a head like a dodgeball they weren’t expecting.

Maybe Andi should consider jumping on Bex’s bed at 3 in the morning one night and screaming in her face.

This whole thing is a very weird analogy that I feel Cyrus developed only by listening to every other word one of his parents once said about this issue. Or maybe not even this issue. Maybe they were just talking about dodgeball.

Cyrus doesn’t give it much more thought though, because he’s impressed with his ability to drop a metaphor out of nowhere.

And one about sports at that.

Andi wants to know what to do with her ball of rage. Amber has an idea.

Smash old junk.

It seems to work.

Later, Andi relaxes in her room and gets a call from Celia.

Well, she gets a Facetime from Celia but Celia has her phone too close to her head. Old people and technology, you know how it is.

Celia asks if Andi got her email. Andi’s like, email? I don’t know what that is, I’m not some Millennial.

You know what, I hate this show and I’m glad it’s cancelled.

Celia tells Andi to look at her email because she sent her a video of a wedding where everyone dances down the aisle and she’s thinking they should do that for Bex and Bowie’s wedding.

Then Andi watches Celia do the saddest silly grandma dance in the history of film and television as she notes how happy she looks and mentally notes how tragic it will be to stomp out that happiness.

Andi tells Bex that Celia called and wants to know when she plans on telling her that the wedding is off. Bex says she can’t yet. Andi wants to know why not. Because, Bex says, tomorrow is Celia’s birthday.

Wait, so Andi doesn’t remember her own grandma’s birthday? What did she think the fancy dinner they were going to the next night was about?

The next morning, Buffy meets up with Marty to do some cardio. She sees Marty’s footwear and has questions.

Oh God, he would. These weird toe shoes are so Marty. Kudos to whichever writer said “Marty should be wearing those weird toe shoes.” Nailed it.

Marty’s like, make fun of my toe shoes all you please, but I’m running a marathon this weekend. He’s been training half a year for this. Buffy’s like, ok, sounds fun, I’ll do it, too.

Marty’s like, you haven’t trained. Don’t do that. Buffy considers that a challenge. Marty lists the many ways this could go badly for her.

But Buffy’s lost all sense of reason.

This is like someone walking into an operating room and grabbing a scalpel and going, “Ok, let me at the patient.” And the doctors and nurses are screaming, “Ma’am, you cannot perform open-heart surgery without any training!” and they’re like, “Oh, you’re just scared they’re going to name the hospital after me.”

Jonah, meanwhile, walks down the sidewalk when he is ambushed by Cyrus.

Watch out, Jonah! Cyrus could have a ball of rage!

Luckily, Cyrus just wants to invite him to a campout to watch a meteor shower. Jonah is like, the meteors are not going to hit us, right? And Cyrus is like, no, it’s not like we’re Russia.

Cyrus says there will be s’mores. Jonah’s like, I haven’t had s’mores in a while.

Honestly, that’s not bad. It’s a B+ pun. Much better than I expected from Jonah “Danishes have eyes, I’m not making a joke here, I’m legit saying this” Beck.

At a fancy restaurant that night, Bex, Bowie, and Andi wait for Celia and Ham to show up. Yes, Ham. I raised my eyebrows when I heard that.

Bex, by the way, has achieved full mom status.

Celia finally shows up. Alone.

They ask where Ham is. Celia says he’s not coming. Is he ok? Yes, he’s fine, says Celia, he’s in INDIA.

That’s right. Ham is in Asia now. Don’t ask anymore questions about it and don’t you dare Google it.

Jonah shows up to Cyrus’s backyard and sees Cyrus has set up a huge tent.

He doesn’t know when the meteor shower is going to be so he figures they should wait it out in comfort.

Back at the restaurant, Andi, Bex, and Bowie ask Celia about the missing Ham. Celia says he went back to the ashram and didn’t say goodbye because he was worried they’d talk him out of it.

Bowie says that since he got back from India the first time, he seemed a little lost. Celia says she promises they will hear from him again.

Which sounds like a threat.

This whole scene makes you feel awkward for the actors and it feels surreal as an audience member, but I am honestly glad they aren’t just going to ignore Ham’s disappearance. Ham the character deserves better than to be ruined by whatshisname the criminal.

Bex and Andi agree to accept that Ham’s doing what he needs to do, so let’s just all of us accept that and not push the issue too much.

Moving on! Celia found the perfect venue for the wedding!

Which is insane seeing as the wedding was supposed to be in a few weeks and the invitations were supposed to have been sent days ago already. What did the invites even say?

Anyway, don’t think about that, look at the alpacas!

Celia says the alpaca farm is a warm and inviting space. Celia’s very excited but everyone else is struggling. Bex looks at the alpacas wistfully. She says they should talk about it later.

But Celia realizes something is up and wants to know what. Bex starts to come clean.

At Cyrus’s, Jonah reads up on asteroids. He says one could hit Earth in 2071, which reminds him of the plot of The Sixth Sense for some reason.

Cyrus gets upset about the spoiler and then wants to know who Bruce Willis is. Come on. Isn’t he a student of cinema? He doesn’t know what Die Hard is? I’m irrationally angry about this.

Jonah wants to know when this event is happening and Cyrus says there’s no way to tell, so in the meantime...

Ah yes, charcuterie, which is, I believe, French for “chewy and dry.”

Jonah panics. You can’t bring meat on a camping trip, it attracts wild animals. Cyrus thinks he’s freaking out unnecessarily. They’re in Cyrus’s backyard. What kind of wildlife lives in the suburbs? And, on cue, suburban-dwelling wildlife makes noise right outside the tent.

Back at the restaurant, Celia gathers herself. She wants to know, yes or no, are Bex and Bowie getting married?

Disappointment washes over Celia. She’s upset they were just going to let her sit there and babble on about a wedding that wasn’t happening. Andi says they didn’t want to ruin her birthday and create a sad public situation.

You know, like this...

Celia snuffs out the candle the way her hopes for the wedding were snuffed out.

Back inside Cyrus’s tent, Cyrus and Jonah freak out about the wild animal that’s come sniffing for their bitter cheeses.

Cyrus is worried about going outside because he thinks a coyote will drag him off into the woods.

But Jonah tells him they just want his Banjo Kazooie. Jonah thinks they can chuck the meat away and run, but the zipper to the tent won’t open. They now think they’re stuck in the tent, but Cyrus comes up with a plan: cheese knife.

Cyrus’s attempts end as feebly as would be expected, so Jonah takes over and jabs the knife through the tent. He cuts a hole big enough to get his head through and peeks out. He doesn’t spot wildlife, but, just to be safe, he uses his frisbee skills, honed over a lifetime of practicing the ‘bee, and hucks the charcuterie board into Cyrus’s neighbor’s yard anyway.

Now, in real life, a wild toss like that would send meats and cheeses everywhere. Mostly all over Cyrus’s backyard.

But, for some reason, those meats and cheeses appear stapled down to that board, so they go sailing into the neighbor’s yard nice and clean.

The two hear footsteps retreating and feel the day is saved. Or, at least, it is for now until someone has to explain why a pack of timberwolves tore apart the Hendersons next door and left nothing but various bones and viscera and assorted cheeses and meats in their wake.

Cyrus and Jonah emerge from the tent and look towards the sky.

Just in time to spot a beautiful sight.

A Windows 95 screensaver! You know they say you can only spot one of those in the sky every 75 years.

You guys, I lost my mind at this. I don’t think I’ll ever get over it.

They must’ve blown their entire graphics budget on pasting Jonah’s face on everyone’s head in the dream wedding and this was like the best graphics that could be bought on whatever Terri Minsky had in her pockets that day. This is what you get when the show’s editors take part in “Bring your child to work day.”

Why include the two in the image at all? Just show the sky! They look like they’re glowing. I put this into photoshop and used the magic wand tool and it gave me a super clean cut-out of the two.

Cyrus and Jonah go sit down and watch the meteor shower.

Why didn’t they just buy stock footage of a meteor shower? I can’t deal with this.

Jonah asks what happened to that place in Russia but Cyrus says he’ll tell him tomorrow, once the adrenaline wears off.

The next day, Buffy and Marty get ready to marathon. Marty tries to warn Buffy: they should both do their own thing, run their own pace, not make this a race. This, as you might imagine, is ignored.

Buffy takes off running.

Bex, meanwhile, arrives home. Celia is giving her the silent treatment. She’s locked herself in her room and won’t come out. You know, like an adult.

Bex says Celia is beyond angry. Andi gets it.

Andi’s like, she can’t let it go. Bex says she has to. What is she going to do with it? If you’re not careful, Bex, she’s going to nail you in the back of the head with it when you’re not ready for it. Dodgeball!

Andi has an idea though. She going to take her to “a place” but she won’t tell Bex because "this place is not for you,” which is way too ominous a thing for a child to say. That’s the kind of thing that’s scratched into the stone above the entrance to an ancient tomb.

Back at the marathon, Buffy is... not doing well.

She probably went way too fast out the gates and burned through her energy. This is something you learn not to do in marathon training. Alas.

Marty catches up to her. And then catches her.

He helps her over to a bench. Buffy fights him but is just about out of energy. He says they should get her to a doctor, she tells him to go on without her. He doesn’t want to, so she starts laying into him.

I gotta say, not as catchy as Marty from the Party.

Marty finally relents and leaves her as a knockoff Imagine Dragons song plays.

Picture Minotaurs? Envision Griffins? Visualize Unicorns? Should I continue? Am I just doing this for myself at this point? Consider Werewolves. Ok, that’s the last one.

Andi brings Celia to the Rage Cage. She takes to it naturally.

It seems to work.

At the park, Marty comes running back to Buffy, who’s still lying on the bench. He accuses her of trying to “White Fang” him.

When Buffy tries to play dumb, Marty tells her she made him watch the movie. Why did Buffy make Marty watch a 30 year old Ethan Hawke movie that was like... fine? I don’t know, but the point is, he learned his lesson from it, which was that he had to come back for her even though she was mean to him.

Buffy’s like, so are we just going to sit here then?

So Marty runs, I guess, a huge chunk of a marathon with Buffy on his back.

They cross the finish line at 7+ hours and both get medals. Wait. Buffy gets a medal for riding on someone else’s back? I could do that! This whole time I’ve never attempted a marathon because I thought you had to run it. This opens a whole new world of possibilities to me. Can you like, ride a horse through a marathon? Do both you and the horse get medals?

Buffy thanks Marty and they walk off together.

Oh, now she can walk.

Back at the Rage Cage, Celia’s time is up. She’s fully bought into the rage life.

Andi hears someone else raging nearby and finds Amber. She’s crying.

Andi asks what’s wrong and Amber says it’s Jonah. He’s not doing enough. She’s the one who always has to text or call him but he’s not putting in the effort. Just the same six emojis.

Andi says maybe that’s the max you’ll get from Jonah, but Amber wonders if maybe it’s because he doesn’t really like her.

Andi says if she’s this unhappy, maybe she should break up with Jonah, but Amber can’t. Why?

Amber! Whoa! The L-Bomb?!

Reduce your speed! Hit the brakes! Pull the emergency brake! Pull it so hard you enter into a drift. Risk flipping the car if you have to because you are going way. Too. Fast.

Andi looks at her like, “Yikes.”

But not like a Yikes! yikes, more like an empathetic yikes.

Either way.

Yikes.

#Andi Mack #Cyrus Goodman #Buffy Driscoll #Jonah Beck #Bex Mack #Bowie Quinn #Celia Mack #Amber #Marty #Andi #episode recaps

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aescapisms · 6 years

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under the same sky (3)

pairing: sebastian stan x reader

warnings: author really doesn’t know what the fuck she’s talking about

word count: 1,804

m a s t e r l i s t

Everything was great they were constantly communicating with each other. Y/N doing everything in her power to always get the privilege of phone hours. Which means that she can call Sebastian for two hours per week. Sebastian loved hearing her voice. He can almost feel as if she was with him. They would laugh the whole time that they are talking to each other. He would tell her about the movies he was casted in, especially the one where he had to play the best friend Captain America. He told her that she was the reason why he wanted to do it in the first place. Because she was his Captain America. It was their story. “I am so proud of you Sebby.” She said. And that was all he needed to hear.

“I’m proud of you too. When you come home we’ll have a movie marathon.”

“Only if we’ll have cheese popcorn.”

“Whatever you want. Just come home.” Come home to me.

After the call Sebastian would sleep with a smile on his face. Not knowing the horrors that Y/N has faced.

It has been like that for fourteen months until all of the communication from Y/N stopped. Sebastian was worried, and scared. What if something bad had happened? What if she died? Or worse being held as a prisoner of war? But when he opened his apartment door that he had shared with her. Yes, he never left. “Welcome home, Sebby.” She was standing in the middle of the living room, wearing his oversized shirt with her hair tied up in a bun. They way she used to tie it before.

He ran straight into her arms and cried. “I’ve missed you so much. Oh god. I was worried sick—You didn’t write to me. You didn’t tell me you’re gonna go home. I thoug—“

“I won’t die on you. I promise.” She said still not letting go. “Besides, I wanted it to be a surprise. Of course I wouldn’t tell you that I’m here.”

“This is the one surprise that I’m okay not having. You have no idea the things I’ve imagined that had happened to you.” Sebastian let go of the hug and decided to look at her. She looked older but had grown more beautiful. He noticed the cuts on her neck and some on her face. She noticed him staring so she had explained that those were shrapnels of the glass from a mission.

“Also, Sebby why are you so big. Like, you’re very very very muscular.” She said looking at his biceps then he laughed. Jesus Christ, he’s still very much in love with her.

That night they had built a fort and had a Marvel movie marathon. There was a noticeable flinch every time that there are gun shots. Those times Sebastian just held her hand and she was thankful for that. Sebastian took a picture of her and posted it in his Instagram, and captioned it “Finally back home after serving overseas. The first thing she wanted was a movie marathon with cheese popcorn.”

When he told her about it she just laughed and told him he should’ve taken a better picture. The only think that he could think about was every picture becomes perfect every time she’s in it.

As it turned out, she wasn’t there for good. No, life wasn’t about to give him that kind of satisfaction.

After 3 weeks she received a call in the middle of dinner telling her to turn the news back on. A military base was ambushed and a few people were taken hostage. She was needed. Desperately.

“Yes sir. I will be in the airfield in 30 minutes.”

She’s leaving now? Don’t they have a couple of other people that they can turn to? “They don’t. I’m an Alpha member. The first team. That’s why they had to call me in.” He looked at her confused. Did he say that out loud? “No you didn’t. But I can tell from your face that’s what you’re thinking.” She sighed “I have to go get my things.”

Sebastian got up and followed her. She was already in her uniform when she opened the door, her bag already on the bed. So that’s why she didn’t bother unpacking.

“I’ll call you when I can and I’ll write letters.” She hugged him tightly and kissed him on the cheek. “I have to go now, okay?”

And then she left. A car was already waiting for her downstairs.

She called him before boarding the plane. “Sebby, I’m here at the airfield. I’m going to miss you. Soldier hurry up. I have to go now—“

“Wait—“

“Goodbye, Sebby.”

And then she was gone.

She didn’t keep in contact for the first few months but he still kept on sending her letters despite her not answering back. He never missed a letter. Not a single one.

It was ten months later when he finally received news. He was in the middle of lunch at the set of Civil War when Dean stopped by. “Hey, it’s been a long time.” Dean greeted him. “Can we talk somewhere in private?” He had a bad feeling about this.

“She’s alive.” Dean said as soon as they both sat down in Sebastian’s trailer. As soon as he heard those words it felt like the weight of the world was lifted from his shoulders. “Oh thank god. What happened. Where is she?”

“She’s in the hospital. Far from here. Now what I’m about to tell you is confidential but you have to know.” Sebastian nodded “The van they were in on the way to save some kidnapped civilians were ambushed. It seemed like there was no way out of it but well, she managed to get out of the crossfire and take as many civilians to safety as she could. Some of them got to safety but others didn’t make it. She suffered a lot of damage. Blood loss from the gunshot wounds.”

Sebastian cried hearing what Dean had to say. “When—When will she come home?”

“She won’t be coming home. Y/N still hasn’t woken up. Doctors said it could be months before she wakes up, maybe years. As much as I would want to take you to her I can’t. But rest assured, she is fine. Her doctors didn’t say anything about brain death so we’re still hoping for the best. I’m so sorry Sebastian. I know how much you loved her.”

“I haven’t told her yet. What if I never get the chance to tell her?”

“You will.” Dean told him, but Sebastian could tell that he didn’t believe his own words.

“So Sebastian, you’ve been raising a fundraiser for people who got bullied?” James Corden asked him during the interview with the cast of CA: Civil War.

“Yeah. I’ve been helping in every way that i can to help people who suffered or is suffering from bullying.” He smiled as he shared the initiative. “Its just you know— I’m pretty sure everyone know that I was bullied when I was a kid and yeah I want to help other people who are out there alone and scared, I want to let them know that someone cares.” The people in the audience clapped. Sebastian started planning the initiative a few months ago, it had always been a plan and he was supposed to wait until Y/N comes home from the war. But he figured that he wanted to put it up now so that he could surprise her with it when she wakes up.

“Wait, this is news to me. You were bullied?” James asked in disbelief. Other people “awwed” in the audience.

“Yeah, I was” he laughed. “I was a fat and the new kid in school so they did. Until my best friend, Y/N dealt with them.” He rubbed his hands together and took a deep breath before continuing his story. He can’t cry. Not here. Not now. “And I’ve always been thankful for her for doing what she did. She was the one who stood by me through it all. She supported me in every way possible. She helped me realize my dreams and how to achieve them.”

“I take it, Y/N is very special to you since that was the longest sentence you spoke in the duration of the show.”

“Oh…” he laughed as the blush crept through his cheeks. Evans laughed with him.

“You have no idea how special Y/N is to Sebastian. I haven’t met her but I feel like I’ve been friends with her for a long times because of the things that I know about her.” Robert added. The fans in the audience screamed. Sebastian and Y/N had been everyone’s OTP. (Whatever that means.)

James nodded, then asked “Where is Y/N now? Is she watching?”

Sebastian’s laughter died down and looked at his hands. “Yeah, she is.” His smile did not reach his eyes. “But she’s been very busy you know from all the things that she does. She’s in the military actually.”

James told him something about how heroic Y/N is to be protecting the country. And then he told him to say a few words directly to her in case she’s watching the show. She isn’t. Sebastian wanted to say. She can’t. But he smiled and did it anyway. Because that’s what actors do.

“Hey! Y/N, Stay strong. We’ll be waiting for you when you get back. I—We miss you so much. Be safe.” then he blew a kiss to the camera hoping that it would reach her.

The fans, of course, decided to research about Y/N. That was the first time that Sebastian talked about her in National Television most of the things they have were from the things Sebastian says in magazines but never in a live TV. Everyone decided to dig deep into Sebastian’s past to get pictures of him and Y/N. There weren’t that many but for the things that they had found they always tagged Sebastian in it. And he was thankful. Some of those pictures brought back memories that he didn’t want to let go of. As he scrolled through the tags he decided to post one of their own. It was the day when they decided to celebrate Christmas before she was deployed. They were both wearing Santa Claus outfits and was pointing at each other. “This is when we celebrated the holidays early because we won’t get to spend it together since she would be deployed in two weeks. This is Y/N, my best friend. She’s in overseas serving our country. I hope you include her, and the thousands of soldiers risking their lives for our country, in your prayers tonight.”

part four

#under the same sky #part three #sebastian stan #sebastian stan x reader #sebastian stan imagine #sebastian stan fanfic #sebastian x reader #seb stan #sebby stan #fanfic #imagine

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