#my hand went numb trying to take these
happy fearless day
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pushing their crush away and missing them
w/ oikawa, sakusa, and atsumu!
(a/n: i had a couple requests where the boys push the reader away who’s been openly trying to pursue them but then they start to miss them so i decided to write for it! i’m not gonna lie that title is absolute shit but i didn’t know how else to label it😭
anyways all are written in the timeskip :)) enjoy y’all💞)
you figured a direct approach was the best one to take with oikawa tooru
the two of you had been friends for quite a while after highschool, ending up in argentina at the same time
before, you’d seen him as a friend, but your feelings had progressed
you’ve been trying to pursue him for months, but he’s only ever teased you flirtingly, never going anywhere past that line
but one day, his team wasn’t doing so hot, so you came to visit him after practice
“hey, did you maybe wanna go out for some food? you look tired.”
he’d been silent, so you pressed further
“maybe going out for a little would do you—”
“could you fuck off for two seconds, y/n? you’re really fucking annoying, you know that?”
it became clear to you that he would never return your feelings
you left that night feeling empty and numb
when tooru calls in the morning, you sigh before declining it. he calls again. you turn your phone off.
on oikawa’s end, he’s feeling frantic. he hadn’t meant to snap at you last night, but like always, he’d just let his emotions get the best of him. he wants to find you and apologize for what he said, but you won’t answer your phone and he has no idea where you are.
days go by and you don’t respond to anything he sends you.
please pick up the phone
please forget what i said to you
i didn’t mean it
goddamn it y/n pick up the damn phone
as much as you ache to tell him that you forgive him, you know you need to move on. before, you’d been holding on to that little sliver of hope: maybe one day he’d turn around and realize that you made him feel the same way he made you feel. but now you understand that you’re a nuisance to him; a burden. why would you want to keep pining after him when he would never feel the same way?
what you didn’t know was that oikawa did feel the same way, even more so. but he was terrified that you would figure out that he wasn’t as great of a person that he pretended to be and leave, and that frightened him. he never made a move because he was so scared of losing you.
but now you’re gone and he doesn’t know what to do. he misses you like crazy. he can barely sleep, up in the late hours of night thinking about you.
today, he’s getting ready to go out for the night, when he opens the door. he gasps softly, stepping back.
you’re standing right in front of him, hand raised reluctantly to knock on the door, and you’re wearing the same expression as he is.
he cuts you off, throwing his arms around you tightly and gasping into your hair, relief flooding his nerves so fast he can barely breathe.
you hadn’t meant to show up at his place, but somehow your feet moved on their own, and now you’re in his arms. it feels better than you could’ve ever imagined. it feels too good. and you know you’ve made a mistake.
you push him off you gently, stepping back. his expression drops with hurt and confusion.
“i shouldn’t have come here,” you mumble, looking downward, before starting in the direction you came. he looks at you, startled, and runs to catch you, grabbing your wrist.
“wait! don’t go,” he pleads. you stop in your tracks, tears pricking at your eyes. “you— you haven’t been answering my texts,” he mumbles guiltily. “i mean, i get why, it’s just...” he trails off.
“i missed you.”
you gasp softly, heart breaking, and pull your wrist out of his grip sharply.
“fuck you, tooru!” you blurt, turned away from him. “you can’t just say things like that and string me along when you know how i feel! god, how could you do that to me?” frustrated, involuntary, angry tears stream down your face uncontrollably. you’ve always hated how you cry when you’re mad.
he blanches, opening his mouth to say something.
“i can’t do this anymore,” you cut him off. “i can’t sit here and pour my heart out to you over and over again while you don’t even care.”
“i can’t be your ‘friend’ if that’s all this is gonna—”
but you don’t finish, because he’s tugging you towards him in half a second and his lips are on yours, pressed firmly against you. his hands are in your hair, cradling you gently. you pull away.
“i’m not stringing you along. okay?” he mutters, breathless. “i didn’t mean what i said to you that night, and i couldn’t stop regretting it. and then you wouldn’t talk to me and i felt terrible without you and i just really, really need you,” he whispers, desperate.
“do you mean that?” you ask, hope swelling in your heart. he nods.
“i love you. so much,” he exhales against your lips. “and i’m never letting you go again.”
you can’t remember a time where you haven’t been completely in love with sakusa kiyoomi
you’ve always loved to put it on display, hoping that it’d make your feelings less serious to avoid rejection
kiyoomi usually tolerated it; it became a part of your dynamic honestly
but one night, the jackals had lost their game, and he was frustrated and angry
you figured he could use a pick-me-up
“wanna go out for drinks?”
as he said nothing, you went on and on about how he shouldn’t beat himself up, your arm linked around his bicep, and he’d had it with you
“why don’t you go throw yourself at some other guy? god.”
he shoved you off his arm and walked away
as you walked home alone, you figured that maybe he was right
if you were going to throw yourself at someone, it shouldn’t be the man you’ve been unrequitedly pining for for years
when sakusa wakes up, his head hurts, and he rubs his eyes tiredly. it’s already 11:26, according to his watch.
he sits up, memories of last night flooding in. he cringes when he remembers the things he said to you. he remembers the look on your face when he pushed you off of his arm and walked away.
last night had been rough, but it wasn’t his place to take it out on you. he pulls out his phone and dials your number. it rings a couple times. no response.
he tries texting you. you always reply in less than 10 minutes, but the chat box is empty. guilt swims in his lungs, making it hard to breathe properly.
he spends the next few days wallowing in self-pity and shame, waiting for a response that never comes. when the guilt becomes too much to handle, he decides to go out and find you himself.
he looks around your apartment complex, not seeing you anywhere. but when he turns his head, he finally sees you walking down the street. you’re wearing a coat and heels, the attire a little too nice for a walk in the night. he runs to catch up with you.
“h-hey!” he stammers, watching you turn around in alarm. familiarity flashes across your face before hurt takes it place. kiyoomi’s heart sinks guiltily.
“hey,” you whisper, voice tiny. you’re looking around warily, as if you’re hiding something. he picks up on your behavior, but he’s too focused on making things right to say anything.
“i’ve been meaning to see you,” he mutters. “i wanted to apologize for the way i acted the other night.”
you sigh, checking your watch. “it’s okay, kiyoomi. look, i need to be somewhere right about now...” you trail off, dismissal clear in your tone.
“oh,” he mumbles, rubbing at the back of his neck sheepishly. “where do you need to be?”
you shift on your feet awkwardly, and the tension between the two of you is uncomfortable.
“i’m,” you start, looking away. “i have a date.”
kiyoomi’s heart stops in his chest. when it finally registers your words, it begins to ache painfully.
“you,” he murmurs. “you what?”
you try to smile up at him but the gesture looks weird and out of place.
“i have a date. my friend actually set us up,” you explain, false excitement lacing your tone.
something bitter bubbles up in sakusa’s chest, filling his body with an indescribable feeling of jealousy. he glares at you.
you stare back at him, confusion and irritation contouring your features.
“seriously, y/n? a date?”
you scoff. “what’s wrong with that?”
“i don’t think you need to be dating right now,” he argues bitterly.
“you know what?” you whisper angrily. “you don’t get to act like this when you’re the one who told me to throw myself at some other guy!” you yell, frustrated tears blurring your vision.
“fuck!” he grits out, fists clenched helplessly. “you don’t get it, do you?”
“get what?!” you ask, exasperated.
“i’m in love with you!” he blurts, face dangerously close to yours. there’s visible frustration in his eyes, and you feel like you can’t breathe. “fuck.”
“what?” you whisper.
“i want it to be me. you should be with me.”
he looks down, the expression on his face just lost and a little confused at the way he’s feeling. he looks slightly embarrassed, and your heart begins to swell at the sight.
“you really feel that way?” you ask, baffled. “all this time...”
“just,” he tries, flustered. “be with me instead, okay?”
you sigh against his lips. “anything you want.”
you were always very obvious about your feelings for atsumu
whether or not he picked up on them or not, you didn’t know
but you’d always flirted with him and teased him about everything
he was your best friend, and you held onto the hope that maybe one day he’d see you as more
he was having a terrible day, and you were the last person he wanted to see
nonetheless, you showed up
“hey, tsumu, you doin okay?”
he’d grunted in response
“hey, talk to me—”
“why are you here? i don’t fucking want you! so just leave me the fuck alone, will you?”
and with that, all the hope you’d clung to had dissipated
somewhere, deep down, you’d known he would never love you the way you did him
but hearing it just felt even worse
the set is perfect, and atsumu can see it happening in slow motion. the spike, the way the ball hits the other side of the court, everything. it’s practically perfect.
when the crowd roars, he sighs, exhilarated and a little out of breath. he looks toward the stands, searching for your face in the crowd. he can’t seem to find you. he deflates a little.
they’re probably in there somewhere, he tells himself.
the jackals win the last set 25-21, and atsumu’s never felt so elated in his life. he can’t wait to see you to celebrate the win with you!
but as atsumu waits just outside the gate, searching for you, he starts to get anxious. you’ve never missed a single game. why wouldn’t you be here?
he knows the things he said to you the other night were uncalled for, but you know him. you know he didn’t mean them. right?
but as the time passes, atsumu realizes that you didn’t come. his heart sinks.
atsumu doesn’t realize how badly he hurt you that night. you spent the entire night sobbing, the realization that he was completely right stinging painfully. it wasn’t his fault that he didn’t feel the same way. but it hurt terribly all the same.
so you’ve been avoiding him. he probably hasn’t even noticed.
but atsumu feels like something is off. you’ve never missed one of his games.
to investigate, he shows up at your door, knocking three times. when you open the door, his mind goes blank. you’re in his sweatshirt, the fabric stretching over your thighs and hanging off your frame adorably. he swallows.
“h-hey...” he stutters, nervous. you shrug.
“what’s up?” you respond, awkward.
“oh. uh, right. you,” he mumbles. “you didn’t come to my game today.”
you scoff. “why would i?”
the words sting in his chest.
“what?” he whispers.
annoyed, you glare at him. “you can’t tell me to leave you alone and then get upset when i do.”
guilt starts to prod at his heart. “i know, but...”
“besides, you were right. i should get over you.”
he looks down, shameful.
“but,” he mumbles helplessly. “i don’t want you to get over me.”
you gape at his audacity.
“what, so you can string me along for the rest of your life? what the hell is wrong with you, atsumu?”
he grits his teeth in frustration.
“you don’t understand! i,” he sighs, exasperated. “i’m in love with you, okay?”
“and i fucked everything up and i hurt you but i just really fucking missed you,” he spills, emotions going haywire. “and i want you to be mine.”
you’re staring at him, eyes wide.
“you—” he looks at you, helpless. “you’re my best friend.”
you stay silent.
“so. uh, i guess i,” he stammers. “i understand if you don’t—”
you don’t give him a chance to finish his thought, pressing your lips against him before he can say another word. his hand immediately comes up to cup your cheek, thumb rubbing circles into your skin.
you pull away, lips swollen and breathing heavily.
“i love you too, ‘tsumu.”
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Who’s She? || Bucky Barnes
pairing: bucky barnes x doctor!reader
summary: when sam gets injured during a mission and isn’t able to go to a hospital, bucky brings him and natasha to his own home to get cared for by his girlfriend, y/n, who he’s been keeping a secret.
a/n: this is my first time writing for bucky! reblogs and replies are super appreciated! also here i'm going to pretend that bucky didn’t get snapped so you started dating during the blip and natasha didn’t die
word count: 2.9k
warnings: mentions of blood, sam getting shot, fluff
masterlist || request
He followed the sound of the gunshot to another open room within the warehouse. He watched as the group they had been fighting fled the building, hopping into their trucks and speeding away before he even had the chance to process what was happening in front of him never mind go after them. When the group dispersed out of the room he finally saw what all the commotion had been about- Sam was lying on the floor with Natasha kneeling above him at his side.
“What happened?” Bucky asked, jogging towards where the two of them were in the center of the large, open room.
Natasha looked up, her hands feeling around Sam’s shoulder, blood coating her hands.
“There’s no exit wound.” She told him finally, standing up. “We have to get him out of here.”
Bucky watched as Sam groaned, still lying on the ground, with his hand putting pressure on his shoulder.
“So, what?” Bucky asked her. “We take him to a hospital?”
Nat shook her head. “We weren’t supposed to be here. If we take him to a hospital now... they’ll find out.” She turned back to Sam. “Feel good enough to walk?” She asked him.
“I don’t know.” Sam said. “How far are we going?”
Natasha shrugged, placing her fist underneath her chin, assessing the situation.
“Well,” She told him. “We can’t go to a hospital... but I could try my best in the back of the van.”
At that, Sam pushed himself up onto his elbows with a look of fear in his eyes as he turned to look between Natasha and Bucky.
“You’re joking right?” He grimaced. “There’s nothing else we can do?”
Watching the situation play out before him, Bucky swore to himself knowing what he was about to do and partly regretting the decision before he even made it. As much as Sam could piss him off, he knew better than to let him suffer under Nat attempting to stitch him up. He couldn’t let him go through that when there was a better way.
“Shit.” Bucky shook his head, reaching his hand out to Sam to pull him up. “Fine. I know somewhere we can go.”
Natasha and Sam looked at each other, quirking their eyebrows, questioning how Bucky of all people would know somewhere to go in a situation like this. Not in a position to argue, however, Sam took his hand, standing to his feet.
“So... where are we headed?”
It had been a half an hour long drive before Bucky finally pulled the car over to the side of the road outside of an apartment building. Natasha and Sam followed his lead as he walked inside, up the stairs and unlocked one of the doors with his set of keys.
Hearing the key turning in the lock and commotion outside your apartment door, you spun around from your seat on the couch watching as you boyfriend, Bucky walked in the door of your shared apartment.
“You were gone for so long you almost had me wor-”
Before you could finish your sentence you watched as none other than Sam Wilson and Natasha Romanoff made their way through the door of your apartment. Although you had never been introduced, you recognized them immediately as members of the famous group of Avengers and coworkers of your boyfriend.
You sprung up from your seat immediately upon seeing these unfamiliar familiar faces. That’s when you noticed the blood coating the upper half of Sam’s suit and Natasha’s hands. Your eyes shot open wide, turning to face Bucky.
“James?” You said his name slowly.
“He got shot. There was nowhere else we could go, Y/n.” He told you. “You can fix it right?”
You made your way around the couch, rushing to Sam’s side and guiding him to sit on the cushions, continuing your conversation with Bucky all the while.
“I work in the maternity ward, Buck.” You reminded him.
Sam’s mouth dropped and Natasha, still standing in the doorway watched the conversation playing out between you and Bucky, still unsure of who you were.
Sam angled his neck to face Bucky from his seat on the couch. “You took me to a gynecologist?”
“She’s a doctor!” Bucky shouted at Sam, gesturing wildly with his hands.
“A maternity doctor!” Sam shouted back. “Do I look like-”
“If you don't want her help then-”
“Stop it!” You shouted, breaking up the useless, unnecessary conversation between the two men. They both went silent at the sound of your raised voice, turning back to face you. “Buck, go get my kit from the bathroom, okay?”
He quickly nodded, heading out of the room. As he did, you turned to Natasha who was still standing in the doorway.
“We need to get this suit off. I can’t work through it.”
She nodded, making her way across the living room, kneeling in front of Sam. Pulling a knife out of the holster at the side of her leg, she began slicing through the shoulder of his suit so that the two of you could take it off without raising his arms, affecting the wound.
When Bucky strolled back into the room, carrying your kit in his hands, Sam turned to him while Natasha continued to slice at his suit.
“So... how come she gets to call you ‘Buck’ and I can't?” He asked.
You smiled as you opened the kit, pulled gloves over your hands and set up your materials at your side. Slipping the jacket off of his shoulders, Bucky replied.
“Because she’s my girlfriend.”
A silence hung in the room for a moment as Natasha and Sam took their time to process the words that had just come out of Bucky’s mouth. It was almost impossible for them to comprehend that he had a life outside of the business they got into or that he could care for someone in such a way. The idea of someone like Bucky living out a domestic life in his free time was unbelievable.
“Wait your... but you...” Sam stumbled through his words, turning to look between you and the grumpy, 106 year-old man he had gotten to know over the past few years. Finally he broke into a smile, chuckling. “No way.”
You laughed, grabbing a seat from your dining table and pulling it up to Sam, plopping yourself down in it. Pulling your tray of materials towards him, you smiled. “Yes way. Good to know he’s mentioned me.”
You looked over your shoulder and winked at your boyfriend who was leaning against the wall behind you, his arms crossed.
“I’m just protecting you, doll.” He smirked. “You know that.”
Natasha tore off the last piece of the suit, stepping away from Sam, sinking herself into a nearby armchair.
“Gross.” She commented at the sound of the pet name Bucky held for you.
Laughing at her comment, you leaned forward, a cotton swab with numbing jelly in your hand.
“I know, baby. I’m just messing with you.” You told your boyfriend before turning your attention back to Sam. When you noticed him eyeing you warily, you said. “You can trust me. I may work in the maternity ward, but I know what I’m doing.”
He then nodded and watched as you pressed the swab against his shoulder holding it in place. As you continued applying a light pressure, Sam finally took in your surroundings, now noticing the framed photos scattered along the walls and surfaces of you and Bucky, of Bucky and Steve from back in the day and of you and- who Sam assumed were- your friends. He didn’t know how he didn’t see all of them when he first came in, being able to realize that you and Bucky shared the space as a home.
“How did you even lock this down?” Sam asked, glancing up towards Bucky.
Natasha, kicking back in her seat laughed. “Rogers always said you were ‘quite the ladies’s man’ back in the good ol’ days, Barnes. Who knew you still had it in you?”
Rather than play into their game, Bucky rolled his eyes, sitting down on the coffee table, grumbling to himself.
Sam turned back towards you. “So what did it?”
You glanced at your wrist watch, pulling the swab off of Sam’s shoulder, tossing it to your side and instead picking up what Sam thought to have looked like a sort of tweezer as he watched.
“What do you mean?” You asked, a light smile playing on your lips.
You knew this conversation was making your boyfriend want to kick everyone out of your shared appointment and that the only thing stopping him was that you were currently taking a bullet out of one of their shoulders.
“Like what did it, you know?” Sam asked, laughing. “Was it the staring? It was the staring wasn't it? He stares all the god damn time. It pisses me right off.”
You grinned, continuing the conversation as you slipped the tweezer into Sam’s bullet wound, hoping to distract him. Once you pulled the bullet out successfully and dropped it onto the table besides you, you grabbed the materials to stitch the hole closed.
“He does stare a lot, doesn’t he?” You laughed. “You’re right though actually. I caught him staring at me at a bar and slipped him my number. I figured he was too nervous to ask for it. That was what? Two years ago now?" You asked, looking over your shoulder at your boyfriend.
"Yeah something like that." Bucky replied, nonchalantly.
He was trying to act casual in front of his friends. That night was two years and three months ago to the day and he knew it when you asked. Bucky Barnes wished he could forget about a lot of things in his extended lifetime, but until the day he dies he swore to himself he would never forget the night he met you. Seeing you sitting across the bar from him changed his life for the better and he never wanted that to end. So much so that little did you know that he had bought a ring for you six months ago with the help of his best friend and most trusted confidant, but until the right moment arises it continues to sit in his locked safe in your shared bedroom.
“God, man, I can’t believe you kept this a secret for that long!” Sam exclaimed before cringing as he watched you slip the needle into his skin. “And to think- I thought we were friends.”
Your boyfriend rolled his eyes. “We’re coworkers.”
“You know what? That hurt.” Sam shook his head, pausing, before turning back to Natasha. “You’re pretty quiet. This antique has had a secret girlfriend for two years and you’ve got nothing to say?”
At his comment, Natasha stopped staring at the pictures on the wall, instead turning back to the group.
“Two years huh?” She asked. “That means Rogers knew didn’t he?”
Suddenly Bucky was very interested in staring at his hands as a silence washed over the room. You knew Steve leaving to travel back to the past a few months ago was still a sensitive subject for your boyfriend. Despite the fact that the other Avengers- or former Avengers- knew nothing of your existence, you had met Steve more times than you could count and you knew how important his friendship was to Bucky.
“Uh... yeah.” Bucky answered finally, clearing his throat.
Saving your boyfriend from the awkward conversation surrounding a touchy subject, you finished the last of your stitches on Sam, leaning back in your seat, pulling off your gloves and dropping the materials at your side.
“There!” You announced. “All done! Just try not to move that spot too much for the next few weeks, okay?”
“That’s easier said than done.” Sam said, smiling, glancing at his stitched up wound. “Not everyone just has a metal arm that can do the job for them.”
You laughed, maneuvering your way around the couch and into the kitchen to rinse the remainders of blood from your hands in the sink. As the warm water ran on top of your hands, you felt the unmistakable cold touch of vibranium wrap around your waist. As you scrubbed your hands in the sink, a hint of a smile gracing your face, you felt your boyfriend’s other hand tuck the piece of hair that had fallen into your face behind your ear.
“Thanks for doing that. I know I put you in a weird spot.” He almost whispered, leaving a light kiss on your cheek.
You heard the sound of Sam laughing at something Natasha had just said in the other room and shrugged.
“You don’t have to thank me, Buck.” You said. “Honestly... I kind of liked it. Not that Sam was shot or anything obviously- that’s awful and it’s terrifying that if it were somewhere else he could’ve died- but it’s good to feel... I don’t know... needed like that.”
You turned off the faucet and the second you did, your boyfriend handed you the towel, unwrapping his arm from around your waist and stepping back to look at you.
“But you are needed?” He said, leaning on the countertop. “I wouldn’t be able to do any of this or anything without you.”
You shrugged again, drying your hands.
“I know, Bucky. That’s not...” You sighed. “That’s not what I mean. I don’t know... it just kind of feels... cool.”
“Cool?” He asked, quirking his eyebrows and grinning at you while he said it.
“Yes! It made me feel cool!” You said, throwing the rag on the counter. “You guys are legitimate superheroes. All of you live like you’re in some action movie most days so yeah- it made me feel kind of cool to be included. Maybe you don’t notice it after all this time, but it felt exciting to me.”
He flashed you a smile, pushing himself off of the counter to rest his hands on your waist.
“So, you like heroes, huh?” He asked, clearly teasing you.
Although he was flirting by attempting to tease you for what you had just said, he admittedly felt his heart fill a bit more knowing that you thought of him as a hero.
You smiled, pulling on the dog tags that hung around his neck, teasing him right back.
“No, but I do like 106-year-old grumpy old men who have me stitch up their superhero friends.”
“I’m not grumpy.” He pouted.
“The first step is acceptance, babe.” You fake pouted, stepping back from his arms and lightly tapping him on the cheek. “Now go ask your superhero friends if they want anything to drink.”
Just as you finished your sentence you heard a shout from the other room.
“I’ll have a water if you don’t mind!”
At the sound of his voice you and Bucky turned towards each other, eyes wide.
“Were you eavesdropping?” Bucky called from the kitchen back to Sam who was sat in the living room, separated by a wall.
“Thin walls!” Sam called.
“I’d hate to be your neighbors!” Natasha added.
As tough as your boyfriend was, you watched as he became flustered, knowing the others had just heard him flirting with you in the kitchen. You laughed, patting him on the shoulder before grabbing two waters from the fridge and making your way back into the living room, handing one to each of your uninvited guests. Bucky followed behind you as you plopped yourself back down on the couch watching a conversation between Natasha, Bucky and Sam unfold.
While Bucky and Sam had a harmless argument about the mission they had just been on, you felt a soft pat on your arm and turned to see Nat facing you.
“About what you said in the kitchen-” She began.
Remembering what you had told Bucky in the kitchen minutes before about them being movie-like superheroes, you grew embarrassed.
“Oh God! I’m sorry. You really don’t have to mention it-” You said, cutting her off.
“No, seriously.” She told you. “For what it’s worth, I wouldn’t have been able to fix him up like that. It was nice to have you there.”
As badly as you wanted to play it cool in front of her, you couldn’t help but smile. As embarrassing as you thought it was for them to hear everything you told your boyfriend in confidence, you meant every word you had said and it meant a lot for Natasha to acknowledge you in such a way.
“Thanks. That means a lot.” You smiled.
When you turned back in your seat, you noticed that the conversation between Sam and Bucky had ended and that they both were turned towards you and Natasha.
“Yeah, thanks for that, Y/n. I think I would have rather bled out then let her fix it.” Sam added and Natasha scoffed. “Hey, now that we know you exist we could use you! It’d be nice to have someone keep this robot in check.” He shrugged at your boyfriend.
Whether it was because he was genuinely enjoying himself or it was just because he was beside you, Bucky chuckled at Sam’s comment, stretching his arm over your shoulders as the two of you sat on the couch chatting with the two of them.
“I’d like that.” You laughed, leaning comfortably into your boyfriend. “Oh! Does that mean I can get a metal arm too-”
Before you could even finish your sentence, your boyfriend cut you off.
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bestie bestie please please hardcore angry enemies rough bucky smut with spitting slapping degradation daddy kink and all that shi PLEASSEEEE god maybe him as the soldier? or not thats your choice hskshsjs if you want i really NEEEEEEED some i'm starved 😭 i will love you forever favourite writer your smut has me in a CHOKEHOLD
STOP IT.😭 Ugh. I’m not worthy of you.🧎🏻♀️I’m living for this request. I really, really hope you enjoy!💕 Ilysm.x
word count: 2.3k
warnings: smut, degradation, dirty talk, slapping, pussy slapping, spitting, thigh riding, spanking, cum eating, choking
tags: @fuckandfluff @bucky-soldat @stucky-my-ship @meetmeatyourworst @greeneyedblondie44 @sparksforkoo @bemine-bucky @thewritingdoll @harrysthiccthighss
It was supposed to be a simple extraction mission. Get in, get the hard drive, get out. Easy enough. She’s a very efficient person. But something went wrong. So horribly wrong. Because she’s no longer in the Hydra building. She’s somewhere dark and damp chained to a stone wall. Great. She thinks. Who’s ass do I have to kick now?
Her arms are starting to ache from being suspended, ass numb from sitting on the unforgiving, cold floor. How long was she out? She couldn’t tell. The son of a bitch ambushed her.
She’s never been ambushed before. She can hear an enemy three floors down. Whoever it was they sent, they’re good. She’ll give them that. But, she’s better.
As she’s trying to move her bound wrists out of their confines, thuds catch her attention. She stops her movements to focus on the sound that’s coming from the end of the corridor. It’s black in this place they stuck her in. The only source of light is coming from the cracks in the ceiling. She can’t see a single thing from afar.
The thudding gets closer and she soon realizes it’s the sound of boots approaching her. She gets a tinge of excitement in her chest at the prospect of seeing her captor. She wants to see who she’ll ruin once she gets out of her restraints. Feel their skull crack underneath her boot.
“Ya know,” she states to the unknown figure, “You’ve made a big mistake. I don’t take too kindly to people knocking me out and chaining me up.”
She looks up to a hulking figure cast in shadows. He’s dressed in gear just as dark as this stupid low kept torture chamber. She watches carefully as he crouches down in front of her. It hits her then. This isn’t just any man. It’s the Winter Soldier.
A smile breaks along her features as she sees him now. Hair long, mask covering his face just like the last time they met, figure all lean muscle. He’s her dirtiest wet dream and her favorite enemy. What an honor to escape him once more.
“Oh. So they sent you after me again. Haven’t they learned that even the Soldat can’t contain me?”
He always hates how mouthy she is. She’s the only one who’s ever talked down to him. Does she not realize he could kill her without a second thought? The only reason she’s breathing is because his superiors want her alive...much to his dismay. “Last time I checked, you enjoyed being restrained,” he spits.
“Mmm. I do. I’m in the mood to be freed today though. Why don’t you let me go and show me what you can do with that metal arm?”
God, did she want to take the brunt of that shiny arm. She wants to be strangled, slapped, groped by that appendage. He’s intimidating, she’ll give him that. Unlucky for him, the fear his presence brings turns her on. She’s curious as to what lays underneath that mask. Is he horribly burned? Scarred?
He works the shackles off her wrist. He needs to drag her out of here and fast. She’s working on his last nerve and he’s not sure he’ll be able to keep her alive for his commanders.
He wraps a firm hand around her arm and hauls her up to her feet. “Knew you couldn’t say no to that,” she grins.
“It’s my order to retrieve you so they can beat information out of you...and I can’t wait to watch every minute of it.” He says while dragging her roughly through the corridor.
She knows his weakness. Her. She knows just which buttons to push to get him sidetracked and ultimately escape him. Hand to hand combat is always out of the question. She can hold her own, but not for a very long time with him. He’s skilled and nothing but brute force. But, she’s more cunning and unashamed than he. It’s almost too easy with him.
“Is that what they do to you? Beat you if you don’t comply? What happens every time I escape you? They must really hurt you for being such a fuck up.”
She knows it was a low blow, but she’s willing to say anything to get his full attention. And full attention she gets because suddenly, he slams her, hard, up against the rock wall.
The air leaves her lungs and she can’t suck in more, his metal arm is enclosed around her throat, dangerously close to crushing her windpipe. He leans into her body menacingly. Even through her choking, she can comprehend his bulge brushing against her hip as her toes barely touch the ground.
She shouldn’t be turned on, she shouldn’t. But, she can’t deny she’s always wanted him to take her, mark her, fuck her then leave her to capture her another day. She craves the chase, the cat and mouse dynamic they seem to hold. It’s what drives her to make him hate her. She loves the terror, the fact that he could end her life in an instant makes her pussy drip with a sick need.
“Listen, you dumb bitch. You know nothing. You better keep that mouth shut before I kill you myself.”
Just the reaction she needed from him. “Make me, soldier.” She chokes out while grasping the cool metal.
She brings a knee to his stomach, making his grip loosen slightly before she swings a blow to his face. He drops her, but she doesn’t even make it a foot away before he drags her down against the floor. He places all his weight on top of her, pinning her arms above her head while he takes in her form beneath him.
“You really shouldn’t have done that.”
She gets a hand loose from his grasp and brings it to his mask, ripping it off his face. Big mistake. He’s gorgeous. Even with the pure rage etched along his features.
This woman doesn’t have a single ounce of self perseverance. She keeps digging herself deeper into her own grave. He wants nothing more than to end her. It’ll save everyone some time. Even if he’d be punished later, it’d be worth it to finally shut her up.
But, she’s ruts against him. And suddenly, he feels something he hasn’t felt in a long time. He feels pleasure. She’s sick for wanting him. He’s dumb for wanting her. But the way she keeps dragging her cunt over his thigh, the urge to kill her subsides for now and pure need overtakes him.
“You’re fucking insane you know that?” He tells her while she gets herself off on his leg. All she does is laugh dryly.
“Aren’t we all?”
He sees that glint in her eye, the sly smirk. He forcefully shoves his mouth against hers. She drinks him in eagerly. It’s all teeth and tongue and anger. He starts tearing at her suit, mouth never leaving hers as he rips off everything until she’s left panting in her bra and panties.
He bites her lip harshly causing her to let out a moan against the pain that shoots straight to her core. He brings his hand to her cheeks and squeezes them, parting her bruised lips before spitting into her mouth.
She rubs herself against him again, faster with her tongue hanging out. His dirty slut wants more. He spits onto her tongue once again and watches as it slowly runs down her slick muscle before she swallows. It makes his dick jump, how foul she is sends him into a frenzy.
“Always knew you were a filthy girl,” he groans.
“What gave it away?”
His hand cracks down against her face. The force sends her head whipping to the side. She can taste blood along her tongue from the hit. He grips her hair and pulls her forward so she can look into his eyes.
“You don’t get to talk to me that way. You’re gonna do nothing but lay here and take my fucking cock.”
His words mixed with that menacing snarl makes her completely compliant. She’s getting wetter by the second, the thought of him fucking her hard and fast has her mind completely fogged.
He flips her body over and has her on all fours. In a trance, he watches as she spreads her legs wide, presenting herself to him. He sees the way her ass moves with each sway of her hips. He craves to feel that soft skin under his rough palms. He reaches out and grabs two handfuls of the bouncy flesh.
He moves it around and spreads her open, watching as her wet cunt sucks the fabric of her panties in before landing a smack against her cheek. She sucks in a breath at the impact. The sting spreads down to her thigh, she wants more.
She pushes herself up against his front and he slots his thigh between her legs from behind. To his utter amusement, she starts to grind against his leg again. Pleasure sparks inside her as she creates a sweet friction on his rough pants.
He lands hit after hit on her backside. She can already feel bruises forming from his onslaught. And her poor clit, she’s rubbing herself raw as she chases more of those little jolts.
“Look how desperate you are...you only ever think with that pussy.” He grits as he connects his palm to her ass. He relishes in the sound of her squeals, the sight of her cheeks colored an angry red as the skin ripples with each hit.
She feels a tug on her panties before she hears the rip. Cool air brushes against her swollen pussy and inflamed ass. It’s only a slight reprieve. She feels his cock rub through her folds, the tip pressing against her clit each time.
He watches as he passes through her puffy lips, coating himself in her arousal before teasing her entrance. He repeats his motions until she visibly shakes from his constant torture. He wants to hear her beg for it.
“Who’s my stupid slut,” he grins.
“I’m your stupid slut.” Her voice starts to crack, she needs to be filled before she loses her mind.
“And what does my stupid slut need,” he continues.
“She needs your cock! Please, just fuck me.”
Without a second thought, he slams his hips against hers. Both let out ragged moans at the sudden sensations. He can’t remember the last time he was balls deep inside someone so tight. And she’s never taken anyone as thick or long as him. She can feel him so deeply that she believes he may bruise her internally.
He sets a rough pace, only chasing his pleasure. He’s not too worried about the girl underneath him, he knows she can take it. And he knows she’s enjoying it as her walls throb around his shaft after each intrusion, he can’t help the grunts and growls that he emits.
Above her, he sounds like an animal. Which, isn’t that what he is? A caged beast? She’s never felt so full and so utterly fucked as she does now. He’s taking her apart dangerously fast. His balls kiss her bundle of nerves with each thrust. The concrete is digging into her hands, her chest, her knees. She can feel a new piece of skin tear open each time he sends her jolting forward.
The grip he has on her hips is vice-like. He’s using her like a doll, fucking himself with her body, keeping the pace fast and unforgiving as he feels a knot wind up in the base of his stomach.
Her moans continue to grow, her noises are getting on his nerves. He takes his metal hand and wraps it into her hair, pulling her up so her back is flushed with his front. He takes his flesh fingers and shoves them past that tantalizing pout, putting enough pressure on her tongue to muffle her cries.
“I need you to shut the fuck up for once.” He snarls while furiously fucking up into her. He can’t wait to watch his seed drip from her when he fills her up. He’ll make sure she takes every last drop in her pretty pussy.
All his miserable life he’s wanted to lay his claim to something. Own something rather than being owned. He finally has that something since you came along and he’s not letting you go any time soon.
She can hardly breathe with his fingers shoved down her throat. He makes her gag with them ever so often and it causes her to clench around him as she heaves. She loves how feral, how nasty he is. He’s everything she dreamed of and more.
He finds that certain spot deep inside her that makes her knees buckle. Once he hits it, he doesn't let off it. Tears stream down her face as her body quakes. Heat bursts along her back, between her legs and when she feels that cool metal spank her clit, she cums with a whine. The pain sending her over the edge.
He feels her constrict around him as she reaches her climax. He continues to over work her as he keeps smacking and rubbing her pussy. The pulses she makes with each hit has his eyes rolling into his head before his balls tighten and he cums inside her.
She’s limp in his arms as he pulls out of her. His load starts to run down her thighs. He removes his fingers from her mouth and catches the white trail before shoving it back inside her. He brings his slick covered fingers to her mouth once more and instantly, she sucks and licks until he’s clean.
“They should keep you around. I need to cum in a tight cunt once in a while.” He says while tucking himself back into his combat pants.
He doesn’t notice her standing up, he doesn’t register her swift kick to his temple until it’s too late and darkness envelops his vision. He lands on his side with a soft thud. He looks so gentle while he’s asleep. But, she knows he’s far from it. She learned that in the best way possible.
Men. So easy to use, so easy to escape from when you have a pussy. Even the master class assassins can’t resist the temptation of sinking their dicks into a tight hole. She gathers her torn clothing and makes her way down the tunnel with a limp, sparing the soldier one last glance.
She smiles, eager for when he finds her again.
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Why Won't You Go Home
Disclaimer: I still don't go here.
It is exceptionally kind of Chat Noir to help with the search.
Maybe kind isn’t the right way for Marinette to think of it. Maybe it’s expected. Maybe it’s mundane. Maybe it’s rote, ordinary fanfare for a superhero of the city to lend his hand in a crisis. This search is just a normal superhero job for him. It isn’t personal to him like it is to her. She can feel it in the slow and stiff and disconnected way he picks through the rubble of the Agreste family mansion.
He looks up, and he catches her staring at him.
“M’lady?” he asks.
Marinette blinks. She’s short of breath. She shakes her head, and smooths her fingers over her black-dotted mask, and turns, and crouches to continue sifting through the scattered remains at her feet. “Nothing.”
She sweeps away a layer of ash—the pulverized remains of brick and stone and wood. Shards of dinner plates breathe in the open, blue-pattered rims chipped away. She lifts a piece, and it crumbles to ash in her numb and nicked hands, her fingers covered in bandaids from all the wanton cuts from glass she’d dug through so earnestly in the first three days after the collapse.
A hand falls heavy on her shoulders. She flinches. “M’lady…”
“It’s nothing, Chat.” She bats his hand off. “You take the eastern wing. I’ve got the kitchen.”
His presence remains beside her, heavy. “I went through the eastern wing this afternoon.” He crouches, attempting to force eye contact. “…And you’ve done the kitchen already.”
“I didn’t search hard enough.”
“You’ve searched enough.”
Marinette twists away from him. She dips her hands back into the rubble, silkenly demolished, grated down like fine beach sand so near the epicenter of the destruction.
Chat Noir’s hand grips hers, and he stills it.
“He’s not here,” Chat Noir says.
The jolt seizes Marinette by the throat. Tears she thought had long dried up well up unbidden. She blinks to clear her vision. She cannot speak through the knot in her throat, so she shakes her head, and pulls her hand away.
“His bedroom,” she answers, as the only words that can bubble out.
Chat shifts, until he is right in front of her, crouched to her level. “Carapace searched his bedroom already. Rena did. You did.” He grips her shoulder. “I did… He’s not there.”
“I’ll search again.”
“You need to go home.”
“There were 12 bedrooms in the mansion. Four floors. Dining and recreation rooms on every floor. A home theater. …Hawkmoth’s basement. We haven’t searched everything.”
“You need to sleep.”
“Ladybug.” He takes her chin. “Look at me. Please just look at me.”
She has little choice. She’s staring into his green eyes, his tinged sclera. Chat’s brow is creased with worry, his eyes lined with exhaustion.
“I know you have a family, Ladybug. I know they have to be worried. Don’t do this to them. Don’t do this to yourself. You’ve done everything you can. There’s nothing more you can do.”
She pulls away from him.
“My family’s fine. I’m fine. What about you? Why don’t you just go back to your own family if you think they’re more important than Adrien?”
Chat’s tired eyes hold hers. His expression remains firm, blank, unwavering.
“Adrien’s gone, Ladybug.”
And it would have hurt less had he slapped her firmly across the face.
Marinette bounces to her feet, teetering unsteady, face flushed and eyes wet. She’s still blinking through tears, fists tight at her side, and it takes restraint to not try to deliver that pain back to Chat Noir. “Easy for you to say. You didn’t know him! You never met him! He was just some kid to you. You don’t care, do you? Maybe this was all some victory to you, huh? Hawkmoth is dead and his base is demolished and you just don’t care that Adrien was—”
“Clearly I do care. I’m still here. I’ve been here. I wouldn’t still be here if I didn’t care.”
“You DON’T care. You search like you’re barely even trying to find him. You’ve given up! Everyone else has given up except me! You don’t get it!” Ladybug slams a hand to her chest, palm open, feet spread, and the words erupt from her throat. “I LOVED him. And I never told him! Don’t tell me he’s dead, Chat! Don’t tell me I couldn’t save him in time. Don’t tell me I couldn’t tell him in time, and I couldn’t—I couldn’t…” Marinette’s resolve wavers. Her body is fizzling with static, light and numb. She tilts, and slowly lowers herself back to a crouch before her balance can fail her fully. “…You can’t tell me he’s gone. He can’t be gone…”
There’s an agony that rips across Chat Noir’s face, one which he holds, and then stifles, and then buries, to the point that Marinette may have only imagined it in the first place. His stance goes looser. His eyes dip, until he’s staring down into the sand-fine rubble of the Agreste manor whose ash has coated him nearly fully gray.
“…I’m sorry, Ladybug…” he says, and he means it. “I shouldn’t have said it like that.”
Silence lingers on the wind between them. Every which way it blows, it smells of demolition.
“No I’m… I’m sorry for yelling,” Marinette mutters, face buried in her drawn-up knees. “I shouldn’t be yelling at you. You’re helping. …You’re the only one still helping. I’m so tired, and I’m so scared, and there’s no one else left helping.”
“You shouldn't blame the others for leaving. The search was called off a full day ago.”
“I don’t blame them.” Marinette lifts her head. “…But I just can’t leave.”
Chat pushes himself up from the ground, rising to full height from his crouch. He extends a hand for Marinette to take. “If you’ll go home, Ladybug, I’ll stay. He won’t be left alone if I’m staying here.”
Marinette blinks as Chat’s hand swims in and out of focus. She processes his words. “…Then what about you? If I leave, and you stay, then you’ll be alone…”
“Worry not, M’lady.”
“…And what about your family then?” She extends a shaky hand. Chat clasps it, and carefully, gently, he lifts her up. She’s eye to eye with him again, her vision darting from his one pupil to the other. He is the only pillar across acres of leveled land, decimated to nothing. “You haven’t left yet either, have you? You’ve been here just as long as me. You haven’t left. They must be worried about you.”
“No one in my family is worried about me, it’s fine.” His grip on her hand tightens. “My friends… are worried. But that’s because they’re good friends. They’ll be fine.”
“I’m right, aren’t I? You haven’t been able to go home because you can’t leave him alone here… I’ll stay then. I’ll keep searching, I promise, as long as you promise me you’ll go home to your family for tonight, and shower, and eat, and sleep.”
"Why haven’t you left yet…?”
Chat lets out a simple chuckle, and he offers her a smile that doesn’t reach his eyes. “Just worried about you, M’lady. It’s that simple.”
Marinette blinks, and rubs her eyes through the mask. The sensation of grit digs into her knuckles. It’s coated her entirely. She blinks again, and her vision, her balance, is still hazy. She’s just now feeling the weight pulling so heavily on her chest, and protests die in her throat. “…Okay. Okay then, Chat. …Thank you. Thank you, I’ll—I’ll go home, okay Chat.” She looks up. “But I need you to promise me something too.”
“When I get back, then you’ll go home and rest.”
Chat’s smile lingers, the dead and plastic one. His worn eyes hold hers, and Marinette realizes for the first time since the search began that there’s something uncomfortable nested deep in them, something staring at her like she’s the last thing holding him together.
“…Chat?” Marinette asks again.
“When I’m back, you’ll go home.”
He reaches a hand out, and he ruffles her hair. “You’re very tired. M’lady has been awake for far too long. The sun’s setting now. You should get going.”
“I’ll only need a quick cat nap, M’lady, once you get back. I needn’t go anywhere.”
“That’s… no, Chat.” Marinette shakes her head. She pushes his hand away. “You also need to shower, and eat, and sleep, and see your family and friends, Chat. Promise me you’ll do that. Promise me that’ll happen once I’m back tomorrow.”
She’s staring deep into his eyes, watching that restrained and uncomfortable something bloom closer to the surface. She’s staring into glassy pools that are slipping harder to recognize, and Chat’s plastic smile remains on a face so absent. His eyes refuse to see her no matter how directly she stares into them.
“We’ll talk tomorrow, Bugaboo.”
“Tomorrow, I promise.”
“Chat—” She grabs his shoulder, and pulls him a fraction closer, in hopes that his glassy eyes might finally see her back.
“Why won’t you go home?”
He is covered in ash and soot. His face is uniformly streaked with dust, and it mangles into his hair, soaked four days deep. And his four days sleepless eyes stare through her. He hitches his plastic smile higher until the corners of his mouth waver. He opens his mouth to say something, to say something, to say something.
“Sure then. Tomorrow. As soon as you’re back. I’ll go home. I promise to give my pillows a good few extra fluffs for you.”
And his face is unrecognizable by the time the words leave his mouth.
Marinette tugs him closer, until he is pressed against her. She wraps her arms around him and squeezes. Hesitantly, he returns the hug, with a force that presses the air from Marinette’s lungs, until he clings to her like she were the last thread holding him up above a chasm.
Then all at once, he releases her.
“Go. Go, Ladybug. Go home.”
She breathes deep, and her ribcage stutters. She nods.
“Tomorrow. Early. I’ll be back. Then it’s your turn.”
“Naturally. In the meantime, I’ll check the bedroom again, alright? I promise to leave nothing unturned.”
She backs away, and turns, and lingers. And somehow, even with the way her body stutters and stalls, she’s still gone faster than Chat realizes. He’s left alone with the setting sun tinging all the leveled debris orange. He exhales, shudders, and wills himself to not breakdown on spot. Not until he’s sure Ladybug is far away.
He moves, as promised, to the bedroom, taking the phantom trace of demolished hallways and doors out of habit. He stands at the center, and shifts ash with his toe, and silence falls around him like a blanket.
He sets his hands to the air, clasped around a pocket of nothing. He bounces his palms closer, once, twice, fluffing the air, and fluffing it again, so as not to break his promise.
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i was thinking, what about boys from haikyuu losing game and taking their anger on their s/o in bed to the point s/o is saying safe word, crying? if that's too much, just make them really angry, hurting s/o with words.
i was thinking about Suna, Kita and maybe Shirabu?
characters: suna rintarou, kita shinsuke, shirabu kenjirou
genre: smut, slight angst, fluff at the end
word count: 1.8k
warnings: fem!reader, angry boys, established relationships, spanking, one (1) face slap, choking, vaginal penetration, oral m!receiving, usage of ‘whore’, ‘bitch’ and ‘slut’, heavy degradation, semi-public sex, pretty harsh words are said, safe word is used
authors note: uuu this is my first darker piece for hq, but it does end in fluff!! i tweaked it so it fits the timeskip, but just a friendly reminder that this is pure fiction, your favs love you and would never hurt you<3 here's a link to my masterlist
pt.2: kuroo tetsurou, oikawa tooru, tsukishima kei
it wasn’t often that your boyfriend resorted to pounding the living shit out of you immediately when you had sex, usually opting for teasing you till you couldn’t take it anymore and begged him to fuck you or took the reins in your own hands and rode him till you were both shaking from overstimulation.
this time, was bad though.
the japanese national volleyball team just lost the finale of the olympics, resulting in them only getting the silver medal. no matter how amazing the second-place sounded, it still hit hard to miss the big gold by a hair.
just like how hard suna was currently hitting your ass, as he fucked into you in the empty changing room of the team. you only wanted to check on him when you saw how dejected he looked as he left the field with the team, when the tall brunet just ripped down your clothes and bent you over, fury dancing in his greenish eyes.
you knew how hard rintarou and his teammates worked for this. it was only natural they couldn’t celebrate. losing is still losing, no matter if you’re getting a medal.
“f-fuck, rin, it hurts”, you wailed, tears already streaming down your face from the full-force slaps that were delivered to your sore ass cheeks. being bent over with only the locker in front of you and sunas’ hands on your hips as a leverage to not fall face first on the floor, slowly took a troll on your tired body. it also didn’t help that your legs were barely able to keep you up with how powerful his thrusts were.
“shut the fuck up and take it, worthless whore”, he growled furiously, thrusts only increasing in speed, and a hand sneaking to your front, wrapping itself around your neck. the cruel comments that usually caused your cunt to flutter and eyes roll back, suddenly made your heart sink.
you knew he was angry at being defeated by the opposing team and not at you, but you couldn’t stop the heavy feeling in your chest, or the tears that seemed to multiply at his cold remark.
when the adjustment of his hips caused him to hammer his fat tip painfully against your cervix and his hand tightened harshly around your throat, your knees gave out and you tried to scream only for nothing to come out of your mouth.
“useless, fucking bitch, can’t even stand upright. why do i even keep you around?” he aggressively huffed, not paying any attention to your comfort. you couldn’t take this anymore.
your body went completely limp, as you whispered a small, choked ‘silk’, not even being sure if he heard, when his mind was so clouded by rage.
but he did. and his heart painfully clenched when he recognized the hurt tone in your voice, instantly letting go of your bruised throat and ceasing his thrusts.
guilt filled him as he pulled out and finally looked at you to see you sobbing uncontrollably, arms wrapping protectively around your form as if you were afraid of him hurting you.
“hey… hey, y/n, sweetie, look at me.” suna’s gentle tone had you looking up at him, your vision blurry as your pained expression met his tender one.
“’m s-sorry i couldn’t help you, r-rin’. ‘m sorry y-you lost”, you stuttered out helplessly.
here you were, crying and in pain, but still thinking about him. the brunet was sure he didn’t deserve you.
“no, i’m sorry, pretty. i got carried away”, the tall volleyball player whispered softly, his large palms cupping your cheeks, “i love you and i never want to hurt you. please, forgive me.”
the guilt etched into his handsome face showed you just how bad he really felt, your lips lifting in a small smile. “’s ok, rin’. i love you too.”
the tall male breathed out a sigh of relief as he embraced you tightly and kissed your forehead. suna rintarou would never get carried away like this again. that, he promised himself.
when kita got home, all dejected and upset because some assholes decided to trash grandma yumie’s precious crops in the darkness of the night, you opened your arms with love and understanding. what you didn’t expect however, as you asked how you could help, was to end up on your knees with your boyfriend abusing your throat for what felt like hours.
your knees were aching from the uncomfortable position on the hardwood floor, throat painfully contracting around his thick length as he pounded your mouth as if it were your cunt, jaw hurting from holding it open for so long.
you felt like you would pass out any minute, and while normally kita would immediately sense any of your slightest mood shifts when you were being intimate, he didn’t this time.
where there was usually a caring boyfriend who wouldn’t take his gaze of your face and always asked if you’re doing okay, was a guy who had a far away look on his frowning face, only using you as an outlet for his anger.
the white-black haired male was almost scarily quiet, only occasional grunts and growls escaping his lips. your gurgling and gagging sounds as he hit the back of your throat with every forceful thrust were painful to listen to, and you couldn’t wrap your head around your boyfriend not realizing what he was doing to you.
as tears streamed down your numb face, you weren’t able to stop your teeth from grazing his fat cock, your throbbing jaw not cooperating with your brain anymore.
kita let out an animalistic growl as he pulled out of your wet mouth at once, a sudden slap to your tender cheek startling you.
“you asked how to help and you’re doing exactly that, but can’t even do that for me, huh?”, he spat almost hostilely.
the hurtful words, the harsh slap and the rage painted on his usually calm and kind face made your heart ache, as you sobbed out a ‘peach! shin’, please! peach!’
kita suddenly felt as if he awoke from a hypnosis, when he heard you cry out your safe word. as his -now clear- gaze fell on you, he couldn’t help his chest from painfully tightening. you only offered to help, and he’s gone and hurt you like never before.
falling on his knees in front of you, he pulled you into his strong arms, rocking you both side to side as he apologetically murmured ‘i’m so sorry, angel’ and ‘i love you’ over and over again into your messy hair.
“m’ okay, shinsuke. just wanted to help", you sniffled against his chest, making kita close his eyes out of pure shame that he did that to you.
“let’s get you into the bathtub and i’ll cook your favorite, how does that sound love?”, he whispered softly, as if afraid that any of his next movements would make you break.
the next few weeks you barely got to do anything, kita shinsuke always glued to your side and immediately taking over any task that was thrown at you.
being a med student was fucking exhausting. shirabu had spent months writing a very important thesis about certain brain tumors on newborns, only for his professor to give him a c. something about it not being detailed enough.
“fuck you”, shirabu spat as he was sitting in front of the fire place in your shared apartment, throwing all 80 pages of the “not detailed” dissertation into the fire.
“ken’? what are you doing?”
“burning this fucking nightmare. ’m gonna drop out, fuck this shit”, he almost growled furiously. coming up behind him, you wrapped your arms around his neck from behind, leaning down to ask lowly: “you want a better way to deal with your anger?”
that’s how you found yourself bent over his lap with your panties dangling at your ankles. the spanking wasn’t new, your boyfriend being super pissed while doing so, was.
the first few slaps went as usual with you clenching around nothing and enjoying the rubs to the tender flesh shirabu hit a few seconds prior. after, it suddenly went downhill.
all at once, the soft caresses ceased to a stop, his calloused palm from years of playing volleyball coming down on your ass with full force and the copper-haired man spewing some of the most degrading stuff you’ve ever heard.
“fucking slut, getting off to this. you like it when i use you to let out my anger? i’m having a hard time while you’re just being a horny, selfish fucktoy”.
at the last sentence, you froze. did he really think you were using him? you only wanted to help, but his cold words continued. “gonna beat your ass till it’s sore and aching, you won’t be able to sit without remembering what a useless fucking girlfriend you were while i needed support.”
the logical part of your brain knew, that your boyfriend didn’t mean it. the anger got the best of him, and he just threw around accusations like he wished he could do at his asshole of a prof.
but the bigger, sensitive part of your brain convinced you that he meant every single hurtful word. you weren’t even hearing what derogatory stuff was spilling from his lips anymore, vision blurry and ears ringing from the pain you felt in your chest as well as your ass cheeks.
was this your fault? was it wrong to try and help? maybe you should’ve given him some space.
a particularly hard spank brought you back to reality, suddenly tasting the salty wetness of your tears seeping into your mouth as you cried out a loud ‘pumpkin!”, trying to push yourself out of his lap and landing on the floor with a loud ‘thud’ as his hands instantly let you go.
shirabu could only look at you wide-eyed when he saw how you were choking on your sobs and crawling backwards, just to get away from him.
“please don’t hit me anymore!”, were the words, that would haunt kenjirou for the rest of his life. he could feel himself tear up when it hit him what he did to you, his precious girlfriend, just because he was angry at a prof.
“baby, i- please i would never hit you like that on purpose, i- “, the male felt his throat tighten up and with a quiet sniffle he embraced you tightly, craving the warmth of your body. “forgive me, i love you so much, please don’t go.”
as you started to calm down, your arms wrapped themselves around him, wanting to be close to him as well, because no matter what, he was your biggest comfort and you still loved him.
“’m not going anywhere, kenji’. just… please don’t do that ever again”, you murmured against his temple.
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take a seat | kirishima e.
NSFW! minors do not interact! 18+ only!
warnings: fem!reader, finger sucking, cunnilingus, oral (f. receiving), face sitting, dumbification, a little bit of overstimulation, size difference, implied size kink, lots of praise, (kirishima is aged to 20!)
it must’ve been hours by now; you were splayed across kirishima's lap, kissing enough to last for decades. your back to his broad, built chest- he thinks it's easier to play with you this way.
your lips swollen and hot from all the nipping and sucking at his neck. his chin hooked around your shoulder, reminding you just how huge kirishima was compared to you. you yearned for his warm, calloused hands exploring your body, making you melt into him. his eager mouth made countless marks strewn across your neck, all shades of dark maroon and blushy pink.
eventually his thick fingers made their way into the fray, dipping in and out of your cute little mouth. he makes sure to get your drool everywhere; he just wanted your spit all messy and slick coating his digits. kirishima played with your puffy lips and tongue, rubbing the pads of his fingers along the roof of your mouth and deeper inside. he loves feeling your throat muscles pause and contract from the pressure of his fingers in your hot mouth.
his other hand teased all along your body; groping your breasts and rubbing your hips, slowly working his way down to your drooling pussy. he adored your pretty whines and moans, only encouraging him to work more diligently when his hand meets your throbbing clit.
you felt his short thrusts up against your ass, his bulge overwhelming you even through his sweats. while exchanging hot breaths you could feel yourself getting closer. you needed more. you wanted to feel that hot, fuzzy relief only kirishima could give you.
"ei-eiji please!" you begged for more stimulation, more of this intense clashing of bodies to get you off. he used his free hand to gently tug off your panties, tired of the fabric getting in his way.
"pretty girl.. m'gonna taste you" wasting no time in grabbing your waist and pulling you off his lap onto his face. you knelt over his thick neck, slightly worried for how he'd breathe.
he coaxed you over his eager mouth, trying not to bare his sharp teeth at you. "my sweet girl- now sit" he urges, excitedly rubbing at your sides with calloused hands, pulling you closer down to him.
you lowered and immediately felt his strong, sturdy arms embrace your thighs, rhythmically squeezing and releasing the fat in his careful grasp. "that's it sweetheart, there ya go" kirishima praised, more than ready to taste your creamy cunt.
unintentionally your hips rut downward and against the vibration of his soaking mouth. "mmf! mmhm, yes baby" he murmured into your easy pussy. his words of praise and affirmation only made you more needy, but of course kirishima could provide everything you'd ever want and more.
his thick fingers slipped into your messy cunt, curling and scissoring, searching for what made you spasm and tighten. soon enough, kiri found that sweet spot and you practically went limp. hunched over and panting, barely conscious you heard his boisterous voice sound from under you, "nghh... doin' so well, pretty girl! i'll have you cream nice n' easy for me" receiving an embarrassingly candid moan from you.
he heard your high whines but ignored them in favor of ripping a mind-numbing orgasm from you. "oh baby, you look so fuckin' gorgeous on toppa' me- mmm!" almost immediately he could feel your clit throbbing and pussy clenching, ready to cum all over his face. he quickened his movements and groaned into you, hoping the vibrato in his voice could throw you off the edge.
"ah ah ei! i-i can't take any more, please pleeease don't stop- haah!" seconds later your release hit you, feeling perfectly light headed and achy with pleasure.
he sighs out, "y'think that's good for prep baby?" he couldn't see past your aching pussy, not enough to see how fucked out you were, completely unable to respond coherently. "'cuz 'm hard as a rock" a hearty chuckle and that goofy grin spreading across his face now covered with your slick.
he gave one last wet kiss to your tingling clit, overstimulating you and causing a defeated whimper to fall from your lips. kirishima squeezes your ass and palms you with those same gigantic hands, content to have you destroyed before he even started <3
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wanna sit on uncle tsumu’s cock cockwarming him while watching a movie by others🥺
tags: incest, uncle!atsumu, taboo, fingering, implied voyeurism by dad!osamu
at first you got a rush from simply grazing your hand over your uncle's thigh, under the blanket, while your parents sat on the couch adjacent to you. but you should've known after all this time that atsumu wouldn't accept that.
as the sounds of the screen drone on, atsumu isn't even trying to go slowly, snaking his hand up your shorts, pulling the material aside to force his fingers inside you.
you pull your knees to your chest, giving him access to your dripping pussy, hiding your face from your parents at the same time.
but uncle atsumu gets greedy, wanting to make you cum right in the living room, prodding your sensitive spots, rubbing his thumb over your clit. you let out a small whimper into the blanket precariously covering your body, which doesn't go unnoticed by him at all.
"yn," he whispers, leaning over to put his mouth to your ear, "yer not gonna cum right in front of daddy, are ya? that would be bad..."
you shake your head, not trusting your voice. but you can feel the feeling building up in your belly, tight, urged by his incessant voice in your ear.
let me hear your moans, he urges. you know he's smirking as his fingers go in and out, fucking you until your legs went numb. come on, just a little whimper? yer voice is always so lewd, too—
you're about to cum when you're interrupted.
"hey," your dad's voice breaks in, "aren't ya sittin' a little too close to tsumu, baby?"
the shame burns through you, thinking about how wet you must have made the couch. you try to clamp your legs shut to stop your uncle’s ministrations, especially now that your dad was looking right at you, but he’s stronger, his hand bigger.
“didn’t wanna disturb yer movie, samu,” atsumu says smoothly, crooking his finger inside you, “me an’ my favourite niece have our secrets, don’t we?”
you can’t stop yourself anymore, moving your hips with the flicks of his wrist, the sound of your dad and his twin’s voices blurring in your mind. atsumu knows what you’re doing, and nudges the spot buried inside you.
“you guys are gonna gimme a heart condition—“ he says, but the blood rushes to your head as you cum, shaking underneath the blankets, squeezing your eyes shut to avoid your parents’ gaze.
“nah,” you hear atsumu say faintly. to your horror he brings his fingers that were just fucking into you to his lips, as if he was going to bite his nails even though he’s never had that habit, and licks them right in front of osamu.
his eyes flicker to you for a moment, still flushed and quivering from seconds ago, and tells your dad: “i’m gonna take real good care of yer little girl.”
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𝑳𝑬𝑽𝑬𝑹𝑨𝑮𝑬 | 𝐭𝐞𝐜𝐡𝐧𝐨𝐛𝐥𝐚𝐝𝐞 𝐱 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫
Request: c! Technoblade with a quiet reader that lives in l'manburg the butcher gang use them as leverage to get him to go with them and the reader is upset and scared + the butcher army also takes the reader hostage as leverage for techno and they force them to watch his execution but in the process of him escaping he can't get to them and so they yell at him to just flee, maybe happy ending plz?
Summary: You are one of the most important people in Techno’s life, you’re the perfect leverage.
Genre: angst to fluff (ish it’s not THAT fluffy but there's a happy ending)
Warnings: violence, mentions of death, mentions of blood, cursing
Note: this one got kinda long and idk if i like it that much tbh :/ regardless, thank you for requesting and i hope you like it :]
The day began as any other would, with you and Phil doing your chores in comfortable silence. You had moved in with him after your own home was blown up. After killing his own son, you knew Phil would do well with some company. You were more than happy to provide.
Living with Phil allowed you to go with him when he went to visit Techno. The two of you couldn’t be more different, but despite that, you found yourself getting closer to Techno. Close enough to call each other friends, maybe even something more. But feelings were often left unsaid, Techno was one to show you how he felt instead.
You were getting ready to leave Techno’s cabin after spreading much of the afternoon there. You had gone alone this time, Phil being too busy to come along. You stopped at his door, turning around to say goodbye when he grabbed your hand.
“Here,” Techno muttered, shoving a cool, metal object into your hand. “In case you ever need to find your way back to me.”
You peered down at what he gave you, realizing that it was a compass that would point to him no matter where you were.
And as you journeyed home through the tundra, you thought about how he had said “back to me”, as if you belonged with him, to begin with.
Finally finished cleaning the countertops in the kitchen, you wiped the sweat off your brow as you rinsed your hands. Phil was humming to himself, it was peaceful. You sighed, enjoying the quiet.
“PHIL, OPEN THE GODDAMN DOOR!”
You jumped as Phil snapped up to look at the door. He walked over, greeting your rude visitors. Alex, Fundy, Tubbo, and Ranboo all stood in front of him, each armed with an ax. Aside from Ranboo, all of them were wearing aprons. You’d heard about the creation of a Butcher Army, you didn’t think it was real.
They shoved past Phil, looking around your home, searching for something.
“What’s going on?” you asked, coming out from the kitchen.
Fundy turned to you, frowning, “Where’s the compass?”
You froze. It dawned on you exactly why they were the self-proclaimed Butcher Army. It was a sick joke as to what they were doing, going after Techno.
Shaking your head, you rushed to get behind Phil, wanting to avoid as much violence as possible. You didn’t trust them to not hurt you.
Everything in your home was destroyed, little trinkets on the floor, chests open and emptied. You and Phil had tried your best to stop them from getting to the compass. But with little to no preparation, your weapons too far out of reach, you had to fight with your bare hands. You were shoved around by both Alex and Fundy in their search for the only way to Techno. Tubbo paid little to no attention to you. Ranboo, on the other hand, looked rather remorseful. Yet, he didn’t do anything to help.
Reaching into one of the chests, Tubbo pulled out something small and silver. He ran over to the center of the room, the compass swinging in his hand.
You heard his excitement as he announced what he had found, you saw the deranged look in Alex’s eyes.
You feared for Techno.
Alex marched over to you as he held his ax up to your neck, “You know what? You’re gonna help us.”
You were terrified. Your limbs felt numb, the realization that you were completely at the mercy of the Butcher Army made your knees buckle. Ranboo reached out to grab you before you fell, supporting you as Alex and Fundy discussed something in secret. You looked over at Phil, eyes pleading for him to help but you knew there was nothing he could do. You watched as Tubbo walked over to Alex and Fundy, then he walked over to Phil.
Everything was so overwhelming. You could barely process what was happening, too many people were moving around, too many thoughts flying through your head. Tubbo mentioned something about Phil being under house arrest and suddenly Fundy was grabbing you and pushing you out the door.
“What the- Where are you taking them?” Phil asked, running up to the doorstep, the monitor on his ankle preventing him from stepping outside.
Quackity chuckled, “They’re leverage, Phil. I’m gonna get bacon tonight if it’s the last thing I do.”
You looked back at Phil as they dragged you away, desperately trying to bite back tears. They kept you in iron cuffs, dragging you to Techno’s cabin using the compass. Guilt made your head hurt, you should’ve hidden it better. It was your fault they had it in the first place.
In the distance, you saw the smoke from his chimney. Alex left you with Ranboo and the three of them approached Techno’s home. You watched them fight and though you tried, you couldn’t get away. You were forced to stand behind the trees as Fundy, Tubbo, and Quackity attacked Techno. Techno was doing well, though.
You saw Quackity point at Ranboo and he pushed you out.
“Techno! Look at what we have.”
He looked over at Alex, then followed his gaze over to where you stood next to Ranboo, shaking.
Stepping up to Alex, Techno snarled, “Leave them out of this.”
Alex wasn’t intimidated in the slightest, he knew he had found Techno’s weakness, “If you don’t want anything to happen to Y/N, you’ll drop your weapons and your armor, and you’ll come with us.”
Techno looked between you and Alex, you prayed that he’d save himself.
Slowly, Techno removed his armor, dropping his ax next. Dread crept into your bones, you were riddled with guilt. This was your doing.
Placing Techno in cuffs similar to yours, they dragged the two of you back to New L’Manburg. The trip back seemed to fly by. You saw the cage, the anvil; you knew he was to be executed. Tears rolled down your face and you struggled to wipe them away.
Techno was thrown into the cage and you were shoved off to the side. Your eyes flickered from Techno to Ranboo, silently begging him to put a stop to this. From the look on his face, you could tell he was powerless. Tubbo began announcing his execution and you shut your eyes. You didn’t want to see him die, you couldn’t bring yourself to. Tubbo went silent, you held your breath.
“Alex, pull the lever.”
Digging your nails into your palms, you tried to steel yourself. This was it, Techno would be dead after this.
Suddenly, everyone was shouting. When you opened your eyes, you saw Punz. He was attacking them, he was distracting them from Dream. You saw the masked man hand Techno a Totem, effectively helping him escape.
It was beyond you why Dream was helping his rival but that wasn’t important to you. All that mattered was that Techno wasn’t dead. He broke out of the chains, exiting the cage. He wasted no time in running over to you, but Fundy was on him before he could get to you.
“Just- Just go! I’ll be okay, please just go!” you begged.
You’d messed up already, letting the Army get to the compass. You didn’t want to make things worse. Techno clearly didn’t want to leave, but between your pleas and his unbridled rage aimed at Alex for the way they treated you, he decided the best option was to continue on without you.
You watched Techno leave, and as everything calmed down, Alex noticed his absence. Ranboo walked over to you, helping you out of the cuffs. You mumbled a quick thanks, not wanting to waste time. Knowing better than to follow Techno, you headed for his house instead.
And when you finally got back, fingers cold and your socks wet from the snow that had made its way inside your shoes, you could only pray that Techno was okay.
Hours later, the door opened and Techno walked inside. His pink hair was a mess, his clothes splattered with blood that you assumed wasn’t his. He dropped the pickaxe in his hand and rushed over to you, breathing heavily.
He looked like he had gone through hell, but he was okay.
Techno sat down next to you, running a hand through his hair as he kicked off his boots. Your vision blurred from tears of relief, the worry in your veins finally disappearing.
“What happened to them? The Army?” you were hesitant to ask, knowing he was still riled up from the fight.
“I’ve taken care of them.”
Reaching out, you wiped off some of the blood on his face, “I’m sorry Techno, it’s my fault they found you. I should’ve been more careful-”
He grabbed both your hands in his, eyes trained at the irritation left behind from the cuffs, “It’s not your fault, Y/N. It never was and it never will be. They would’ve found me anyway.”
You leaned forward, allowing yourself to fall into his chest. Techno tensed for a moment, then slowly wrapped his arms around you.
You had to check on Phil still, but for now, you thought it best to stay in Techno’s arms for a moment longer.
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You Tell The MHA Boys That You're Pregnant
Ft. Bakugou, Todoroki, Shinso, Hawks, Dabi x fem!reader
Warnings: I guess a little angsty at some parts?
Note: tysm to the person who suggested this, I actually had a lot of fun writing it! Hope you enjoy!
I firmly believe that it is not possible to have a child with Bakugou without it being planned.
He’s so careful.
Use protection kids.
You two had been settled for a while and kids was the next step.
You spent a lot of time talking about it with Bakugou.
You were both obviously very busy and neither of you wanted to risk your careers in any way so there were lots of logistics to sort out before you even started trying.
It took quite a while, actually. Nothing happened for a few months.
Ans then you realised that your period hadn't pitched for a few weeks now.
You didn't want to tell Bakugou immediately because as much as he denied it, you knew he cared a lot and getting his hopes up too early might not be good.
So you went to the doctor.
Low and behold, you were pregnant.
It was honestly pretty scary for you - even though you'd been trying, it didn't hit you until the doctor was confirming it right before your eyes that you were actually going to be a parent.
Bakugou was getting home later than you that night and so you spent the entire time you had to wait for him overthinking everything.
By the time he finally walked through the door, you were on the brink of a full on panic attack.
Honestly, he thought you'd been attacked or some shit.
Mans was threatening to raise hell right up until you placed the test results from the doctor plus the extra pregnancy test you'd taken into his hands.
Then he just went silent.
‘Fuck’ was all you could think as you watched his blank face. ‘He's realised this was all a huge mistake. We’re not ready to be parents. Shit, what am I going to do? Will he leave me? Will I have to get rid of it? I-’
Your rushing thoughts were cut off when Bakugou placed a hand on either side of you face.
"You're not fucking with me?" he asked you, in a tone that was deadly serious.
You shook your head, staring back into his eyes.
"You're really pregnant?"
Before you know what was happening, Bakugou had wrapped his arms around you in a bone crushing hug. His breaths were shaky against your neck.
"We're going to be parents! Holy shit, we're really going to have a kid."
You were struck by the pure, unfiltered joy in his voice. Your racing heart began to calm down as you remembered the long hours you two had spent talking about this.
Shakily you hugged him back, squeezing your eyes closed as you did.
"Yeah," was all you could mumble out and suddenly you couldn't help but feel happy too. "We are."
I think that, like Bakugou, Todoroki is also incredibly cautious.
He doesn't want to become a father before he's ready, because he knows first hand how much a bad parent can hurt a child.
Unfortunately for you two, two and two did not add up and you ended up waking up with awful morning sickness one morning.
Condoms are only 97% effective after all.
You were sure you were just sick so you went to the doctor the next day, after assuring Shoto that everything was fine.
Though, once you were given the news, you very much regretted not allowing him to come with you.
You cried the entire trip back to your apartment.
The minute you appeared, Shoto was rushing to your side.
That poor boy thought you had some chronic illness or something, he was so worried.
When you saw him, your crying only worsened though.
You had no clue what to do - Shoto had made it very clear that kids was not an option right now.
You were terrified he'd just up and leave.
When you finally managed to stutter out the news, he froze up completely.
You sniffed and whiped at your streaming eyes. "I'm... I'm pregnant, Sho."
"I..." Shoto mumbled and you could see his own lip starting to tremble. He collapsed heavily beside you on the couch, his eyes wide. "Oh shit."
"I'm so sorry," you whispered. Your voice had lowered to a mournful tone. "This is all my fault."
Shoto was silent for a moment. Then he shook his head. "No, it's not."
You blinked at him in surprise as he turned to face you.
"This is both of our problems," Shoto said. Despite how calm he was forcing his voice to be, you could see the panic in his eyes. "We did this and now we're going to figure it out together."
Tentatively, you reached forward to wrap your arms around his neck. After exhaling shakily, you said, "Are we gonna be okay, Shoto?"
He was silent for a while, long enough that you could feel your heart beginning to sink. Tears were starting to collect in your eyes once again when you finally felt him wrap his own arms around your body.
"I hope so," he mumbled into your shoulder. His voice was trembling just as much as yours. "I'm not going to leave, Angel, I can tell you that much. I love you. And even if this really isn't what I had planned for now, I'm sure I'll... I know I'll get through it."
"You promise?" you mumbled out.
"I promise," he replied
So this might sound a little odd but...
I'm pretty sure he figured it out before you did.
He’s incredibly observant.
Like, scarily so.
So he picked up on the slight changes in your behaviour before even you did.
The nausea you got, the tiredness, the cravings, he noticed it all before you.
And when you started throwing up in the mornings, he decided he needed to speak up.
That was probably one of the weirdest conversations you ever had.
This man has no tact.
He just sat you down and told you straight up.
It wasn't something you'd thought about - you'd just assumed you were sick.
But you went to the doctor anyway to double check and low and behold.
You were still numb from the news when you got back to your apartment.
Shinso looked up from where he was making tea when you walked through the front door.
"I'm pregnant," was all you said.
Shinso stared at you for a moment
Then he sighed.
You stayed silent for a second as your mind spun.
Then you asked, "Are you gonna leave?"
Shinso gave you a confused look and in that moment your heart warmed as you realised the idea of leaving you hadn't even crossed his mind.
"Why would you ask that?"
You shook your head at the question and stepped closer to him, sighing softly when he drew you into an embrace.
"I was just thinking... are we ready for kids?"
You felt Shinso shrug against you. "Doesn't matter if we're ready or not because we're getting one."
"What if I'm not a good mother?:
"You will be." His voice was calm.
"How do you know?" You mumbled into his shoulder.
Shinso's shoulders shook slightly as he chuckled.
"If you can put up with me, I promise you can deal with any kid." He kissed your forehead fondly. "Plus, I'll be around to help you. You're not gonna have to do this on your own, Muffin."
You snuggled further into his shirt and sighed happily. "Alright. You're probably right anyway." For the first time, you felt excitement beginning to bubble in your chest at the prospect of starting a family. "Maybe this will actually work out."
Despite the fact that he is absolutely not qualified in the slightest, I'm pretty sure this man wanted kids with you the moment y'all got together.
That said, you shut that idea down hella quick.
You had a career of your own to pursue, no way in hell did you have time for kids.
And Keigo respected that.
You both made sure to be very careful.
Which was why it came as such a shock to you when you found out.
You'd been ranting to your friend Mirko about how your period was late and it was majorly inconveniencing your vacation plans when she brought it up.
"Have you taken a pregnancy test?"
Needless to say, you freaked.
It took barely five minutes before you were at the nearest convince store, buying literally an entire shell's worth of pregnancy tests.
Then you spent the entire wait after taking them crying to Rumi in your bathroom.
When the time came, you made her check the results first.
And then when they all came out positive, you made her stay with you until Keigo got home from work.
He knew something was wrong the second he stepped through the door and found you staring blankly into space while Rumi tried her best to stop you from going into a coma.
"What the fuck?" Keigo asked, closing the door behind him. "What’s going on?"
"Uhhh," Rumi looked awkwardly from you to him. "You should probably talk to her about that, my guy. I'm gonna head out." She patted his shoulder comfortingly on the way out before giving him a hard stare. "If you make her any more upset than she is now, I swear I'll pluck you, Bird Brain."
Keigo turned pale at the threat and hastily came to sit beside you.
"Hey, little bird."
You gaze him a weak smile. "How was work?"
He shook his head, gently poking your cheek. "Don’t worry about that right now. What's wrong?"
You bit your lip hard enough to draw blood as you set one of the many positive pregnancy tests in his hand.
Keigo stared at it for a very long time, his eyes wide. Then he said, "This is a pregnancy test."
You sniffed. "Yes."
Keigo looked up at you then and there were so many emotions swirling in his eyes you couldn't quite distinguish each of them. "Oh baby," he said softly before pulling you into a hug.
Tears dripped down your cheeks.
"I'm so sorry," Keigo mumbled into your hair. "I know this wasn't what you wanted at all."
"I just..." you hiccupped. "I never thought ... we're so young... you're away so often... how am I gonna..?" Your words dissolved into sobs.
Keigo stoked your hair gently. "You're not gonna do this by yourself," he whispered soothingly. "I’m going to help and..." he seemed to mull over his words for a second. "I'm going to sound like such as ass for saying this, but I'm happy about this."
"Yeah," Keigo breathed and through his words you could hear the smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. "I'm so happy, baby."
You knew immediately that he wasn't gonna react well.
Your relationship with Dabi was... complicated to say the least.
You loved him and he gave the distinct impression that he loved you too.
But y'all had never actually discussed whatever you were.
So when you started to throw up in the mornings, the dread began to build inside you.
You genuinely considered not telling Dabi at all.
While he'd never told you exactly what he went through as child, you knew he despised his father.
Also, considering who he associated with (cough, League of Villains, cough), kids were never really even a possibility.
While you didn't really want to pick up and leave, you knew the chances of Dabi doing just that after hearing the news were incredibly high anyway.
Unfortunately, Dabi arrived at your apartment before you could make a decision.
He seemed ready to get straight into your usual activities, however when he saw the distraught look on your face, he froze.
"What is it?"
You looked away from him, your jaw clenched.
"Hey," Dabi said, reaching round to grab your chin. He turned your head to face him again. "Don’t do that. There's something up with you."
"I..." you mumbled. Your jaw trembled and you hastily stepped back from him. "Dabi..."
"What?" Dabi asked again and you could hear the agitation beginning to creep into his voice. "Just spit it out already!"
"It’s fine," you turned away.
Dabi froze completely, his blue eyes wide with shock.
Immediately, you felt your world beginning to crumble around you. "Shit," you mumbled out and turned away completely.
"Pregnant?" Dabi whispered and you could hear the tremble in his voice. "No. Oh no."
You didn't know how to reply so you just kept quiet. Angrily, you fisted the hem of your t-shirt in your hands.
"I'm sorry," you whispered, your back still to Dabi and your head down. "I'm so sorry."
"I..." Dabi mumbled. "I need some air."
You couldn't bring yourself to move as he disappeared back out your apartment, only flinching slightly when you heard the door close behind him.
It took almost four hours for Dabi to return.
When he walked back through the front door, he found your apartment dark and lifeless. All the evidence pointed towards the possibility that you'd left, however Dabi knew differently.
Silently, he made his way to your bedroom. As he had expected, you lay on your bed, curled up under a blanket and fast asleep. Your cheeks glistened with still-wet tears.
Dabi pursed his lips as he looked at you.
He couldn't deny that he wasn't happy about the situation.
However, he also knew that it wasn't any more your fault than it was his. And if he left now, letting you handle things on your own, he wouldn't be any better than his own father.
Plus, he begrudgingly admitted to himself, he did love you. And no matter how complicated a kid would make things, he didn’t want to let you go.
Sighing loudly, he made his way over to the bed and climbed up to lie beside you
Pulling your sleeping form into his chest, he stared down at your peaceful face.
"Don’t worry, doll," he whispered to the silent room. "We'll get through this."
Hearing himself say it out loud like that was almost enough to convince him of his own words.
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so I was in a pretty bad rut for a few weeks, and now I'm in a fairly better place, still not living on a full fledge but the initial fog has lifted.
rut could be from a lot of things: burnout, lack of motivation, procrastination, outside triggers, bad mental health, or the overwhelming feeling of life falling apart but too numb to act upon it. the causes of it could be numerous as well: online schooling, student stress, work stress, a certain relationship with someone not working out or being stuck at an uncomfortable environment.
so I just want to remind you that you aren't alone love. you will eventually find a way out. you just gotta give yourself time.
note: this isn't science supported or anything. it's just a bunch of thoughts I had while I was trying to get back the stability in my life. I'm not all the way successful at handling my daily routine like a pro either. if any of you have better alternative in mind, feel free to add/correct.
let yourself feel: give yourself some time to feel the sadness, cry about it, wrap yourself up in blankets, sleep if you're tired and let it all out.
remind yourself about the things that makes you feel happy and the things you love: so when your life slows down and everything seems to be distasteful, it maybe because you haven't revisited your favorite hobbies in a long time. maybe you had detached yourself from your comfort shows, books, any form of entertainment. so go back to them. remind yourself about the things which makes you, you.
change the perspective around this funk phase: now the immediate response we have when we hit a rut is the guilt of not being productive. well you see, the first ultimate aim should be to get yourself back together. what have you been shoving away for too long? maybe it's a good talk with your best friend, go talk to your support group and the people who make you feel loved. but if you're someone stuck in a place where there aren't much people to remind you that irl, read posts from the #selfcare #gentlereminders tags on tumblr or pinterest. there are so many sweet people across the internet who know how you feel and have written about the same. listen to music, vent in a diary and get yourself back.
some ideas to get some serotonin inside you: music + dance, if you haven't taken a shower in a while—change your clothes, put on some dry shampoo and deo and comb your hair with fingers. eat and hydrate. aesthetic vlogs on youtube. making moodboards on pinterest for your favorite show, band, movie, aesthetic, anything. paint, draw, doodle or color. rewatch your comfort shows, movies or series. read or reread the works from your fave genre. stretch a little. make lists of random things. watch the sunset. look at clouds and stars. write a letter to your loved one, your past self or your future self.
identify the things which went out of proportion these days: maybe you were not taking care of properly these few days. not enough hydration, food maybe? find that out and make a reminder to slowly getting back into it. not by the span of a day. give yourself a week or two if you need to it's okay!
think about what new things are to be implemented and what was not working earlier: only now you will have to focus with the problem at hand. let's say your poor organization for school led to this much frustration. it's okay. we all learn gradually. so find out how you can organize better. there's literally so many resources across each of these problems on the internet. and once you do, start really small. as said earlier, give yourself enough time to get used to it. unrealistic expectations will make sticking to habits hard.
always remember winding down and taking some time out for your soul is important as well: the thing about consistency is to always go back to our why's and values and our happy things as frequently as possible. we tend to forget about the little things which are parts of us. so take time out for your hobbies and loved ones!
I'm not sure how much of a help these had been. I hope this makes sense. getting yourself back up doesn't happen in a day. give yourself as much time as you want. please please please don't be hard on that cute little yourself. that thing which brought you down was hard enough and you fought through all of it love! so I want you to give yourself a loving pat on the back and be proud! do feel free to share your experience and tips regarding this. it'll be greatly appreciated!!
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dream a little dream of me // b.b
Summary: Bucky has a hard time falling asleep, but not when y/n lulls him to sleep by singing to him
Pairing: avenger!bucky & fem!avenger!reader
Requested: no, my contribution to @sventeen-daybreak‘s writing challenge! Part one of “dreamland”
Warning: mention of nightmares, but other than that pure fluff
Word Count: 3,176
next part >
A/N: congrats angel Dev on such a huge milestone! You’ve been so kind to me since I started writing for Bucky and I can’t think of anyone else who deserves the endless love and support that you do! gif credit to @buvky!
He’s in desperate need of sleep, it’s obvious. There are dark, purple bruises, that are almost black, under his eyes serving as a constant reminder that he needed to get some sleep.
He wears a scowl. His arms are crossed over his chest as he watches those around him snuggle deeper into their seats, resting their heads against folded up blankets, pillows or even the wall as they indulge themselves in the luxury of sleep that he’s so desperate for.
It’s been so long since he’s slept for more than an hour or so at a time that he can’t remember what it’s like to fall into a deep sleep and wake up refreshed.
The last dream he had feels like a figment of his imagination and if he were to try and recall it, parts of it wouldn’t come back to him. Too much time had passed since his last dream. He wasn’t even sure what he used to dream about.
He was an expert on nightmares. They haunted him most nights, filling his subconscious until he woke in a panic, unable to distinguish what was real and what was imaginary.
It wasn’t fair that everyone else got to slip into peaceful slumber without having to endure the horrors he did whenever he closed his eyes.
It simply wasn’t fair.
His eyelids were heavy with sleep, but he knew what would happen as soon as he closed his eyes and succumbed to the tiredness that was taking over him. The relief he’d find would be short lived. It always was.
For the first time since he’d sat down on the jet, he realized just how much his body ached. The physical injuries he’d sustained during the fight had already started to heal, but he was having a hard time regaining the energy he’d exuded during the fight.
Despite the serum that pumped through his veins, he was still human. At least, that’s what he liked to think. He held onto the idea that he was just enhanced and not the monster he was conditioned to believe he was.
He found comfort in the idea of being normal. He liked to pretend sometimes that that’s exactly what he was. A normal man. A normal man who had normal issues like trouble falling asleep after a hard day of work.
Except, he wasn’t a normal man. No matter how much he desired to be, there was nothing normal about him. The moonlight reflecting off of his vibranium arm was an unwelcome reminder of that.
A heavy sigh left his lips. It was a shame it didn’t fill him with the relief he hoped it would. His chest still felt tight, even after the deep exhale and he wondered if it would ever get any easier for him to breath or if he’d always feel the painful ache deep in his chest.
He wasn’t aware that he wasn’t the only one awake. You watched him from the row of seats in the way back of the jet, the ones that had been converted into a bed of sorts.
It was really just three chairs put together with the armrests removed, but sometimes, after really long, draining missions, you’d use it as a bed.
Realistically, it was meant to treat the injured. If anyone became badly injured during a mission, the bed was there for them to relax until you arrived back to the compound where their injuries could be examined and treated by medical professionals in the med bay, but since no one had sustained any life threatening injuries, you got to use it as a bed.
You could tell that Bucky was contemplating something. Even though his back was turned towards you, you could tell that he was deep in thought, which meant for him, he was in an internal battle with himself.
He had tells that only you seemed to notice. The sound of his signature deep sigh was deafening as it lingered in the silence of the jet. You couldn’t see it, but you were sure he was rubbing the pad of his thumb and pointer finger together too. It was something he did when he was trying to distract himself, something you noticed he did too often.
You were tired.
You’d stayed up the entire night before gathering intel for the mission and doing the last bit of recon before you infiltrated the base you’d been staking out for months. The last time you slept had to have been over thirty six hours ago, but as soon as you noticed your friend struggling a few feet in front of you, you were wide awake.
Sleep could wait.
The thin blanket that’d been keeping you warm was now piled up next to you as you rose to your feet, careful not to make any noise and risk waking your other teammates.
Slowly, you made your way over towards Bucky. Clearing your throat softly, you alerted him of your presence so that he heard you coming and didn’t freak out when he saw you step into his peripherals.
“Hey-“ Your voice is barely above a whisper as you offer him a soft wave. He returns the gesture with a forced smile, one that might’ve been able to convince anyone else that it was genuine, but you weren’t just anyone else.
“Come here-“ You urge him gently, reaching for his hand and intertwining your fingers with his. He doesn’t resist. A long time ago, he might’ve. He might’ve flinched or removed his hand from yours entirely, but he wasn’t who he used to be.
He reluctantly allowed you to lead him up and out of the seat he’d been sitting in for the past few hours. His legs went numb as soon as he stood and it felt good to stretch them out after he realized he hadn’t in the almost five hours the jet had been in the air.
The worst part about international missions were the flights back. The flights there were just about as boring, except, on the flights there, there was always adrenaline coursing through everyone’s veins. On the flights back, their exhaustion took over.
You led him to the back of the jet, where you’d sat before, out of earshot from everyone else who had dozed off hours ago.
Dropping his hand from yours, you pulled the blanket you’d left discarded back over your lap as you took a seat.
“Sit.” You instructed him, patting the open space next to you and he silently obliged, squeezing into the space next to you.
He doesn’t say anything, only offers you a smile when you meet his stare and he can tell almost instantly that you’re not buying it.
“Are you ok?” Your voice is just above a whisper now, still soft, but loud enough for him to hear you without disturbing your teammates.
“Yeah.” He nodded, deflecting the question quickly by asking, “How about you?”
You’d never forced him to talk about what was bothering him and maybe that’s why the two of you always got along so well.
Everyone else demanded answers from him, but you, you took his word for it when he said he was fine, even when you knew he was lying, and gave him the space he needed when he needed it.
It was clear that he didn’t want to talk about what was bothering him, so you didn’t push him to. Sometimes, just being there for him, whether it was sitting besides him in silence or giving his hand a gentle squeeze was enough to remind him that you were there and that whatever he was going through, he didn’t have to go through it alone.
He appreciated that more than you’d ever know.
“I’m alright.” You replied with a soft yawn as you snuggled deeper into the comfort of the converted bed, your back resting against the cold metal lining of the jet as you adjusted.
“Aren’t you tired?” Bucky asked even though he already knew the answer. The bags under your eyes were purple and blue. They were brighter than the ones under his sunken eyes, but still pretty dark. You kept rubbing your eyes with the back of your hands in an attempt to keep yourself awake. He knew, because he’d seen you do it at least a hundred times before.
“A little-“ You admitted, resting your head on his shoulder. “But I didn’t think it was fair to leave you awake all alone.”
A genuine smile tugged at Bucky’s lips upon hearing your confession. One of the very first things he noticed about you was your selflessness. You always put the needs and feelings of others above your own. There wasn’t a selfish bone in your body.
“You can go to sleep, doll.” He assured you as you reached for his hand and intertwined your fingers together once again. “You don’t have to worry about me.”
“I’ll always worry about you.” You confessed, meeting his stare as you lifted your head from his shoulder.
It was the first time you’d caught a glimpse of him up close and the first time you could see just how tired he was. You could tell from a distance, anyone could, but something about seeing the effects from the lack of sleep up close was so very different.
You brought your palm to his cheek and he had to fight every urge to not nuzzle deeper into your touch. When you brushed your thumb gently over the sunken, hollow bags just above his cheekbone, his heart began to race.
He’d grown used to your touch. It was always friendly. Welcomed, even. You were always so gentle with him. Even though he was made of superhuman abilities and vibranium, you touched him like he was glass, like he was fragile, delicate and about to break at any moment. You touched him like he was human. Like he was normal.
If he wasn’t careful, he allowed himself to read deeper into the physical intimacy between the two of you. It was innocent. It always had been. It was the way your fingers would lace with his when you’d notice his breathing would pick up or the way you’d find comfort by resting your head on his shoulder. They were friendly gestures he wished were more.
If he wasn’t careful, he almost believed they were. He believed that there was something more than just concern or care behind the stolen stares and lingering touches but then he remembered that you had someone waiting for you when you got home.
Your boyfriend was an incredible guy. He reminded Bucky a lot of himself before he joined the Army and as much as he wanted to dislike him, as much as he wanted a reason to have you all to himself, he simply couldn’t.
There was a very fine line between friendship and something more and some days it was harder for him to accept his place on that line than it was for others. Especially when you were so blissfully unaware of the effect you had on him.
“You’re fighting it, aren’t you?” The sadness in your voice caused a pang of guilt to settle in his gut.
“Don’t want to wake everyone up.”
It’s happened more than once before. If Bucky gives into his desire to sleep, it usually results with him waking in a panic moments later with a sheen of sweat dripping down his forehead and loud, raspy screams burning his throat.
It’s a lot to deal with, but it doesn’t compare to the sympathetic looks he gets for the rest of the ride home. It doesn’t compare to the weight of guilt he carries with him when he notices someone’s eyelids fluttering shut and then forcing them awake, as if they’re afraid to fall asleep and be woken the same way again.
It’s a lot to deal with, so he chooses not to.
You can see how desperate he is for sleep. The exhaustion is taking over his body and you wish that you could give him the relief you know that he needs.
“Can we try something?” You let out and he nods before you offer him instruction, “Lay down-“
Flipping the blanket off of your lap you point to where it rested, motioning for him to rest his head in your lap instead. He’s hesitant, unsure what he’s agreeing to if he does as you ask and you can tell he’s reserved.
“It’s ok, Buck.” You assure him before gently adding, “Just lay down.”
With a deep breath, he does. He rests his head in your lap and pulls his knees up onto the converted row of chairs. There’s really only enough space for one person, but the two of you make it work.
He’s thankful you can’t hear how fast his heart is beating, but he hears the way yours picks up as soon as his head is in your lap.
Slowly, cautiously, you brush his hair out of his eyes and run your fingers across his scalp.
“This ok?” You ask him, fingers still toying with his hair and he’s quick to reply, in fear that if he doesn’t, you’ll stop.
With a smile, you instruct him again, “Close your eyes.”
His body tenses and he’s afraid, something he’ll never admit out loud. He knows that you’re trying to help, but he’s afraid that if he falls asleep that he’ll wake up and you’ll be the one dealing with the consequences of his slumber.
He’s afraid that he might hurt you if he wakes in a panic with his limbs flailing or worse, won’t recognize you as you try to calm him down. It’s happened before. He was so out of it once that he didn’t recognize you, let alone Steve for a few minutes. He was in a fugue state and it was by far the scariest thing that’d ever happened to him.
He’s been afraid of it happening again, which is partly another reason that he fights his sleep. He never wants to see the sadness he saw in your eyes that day ever again.
“Y/N-“ He warns, his voice cracking as he tried to voice his concerns.
“I’m right here, Buck.” You promised him. “I’m not going to let anything happen to you.”
He’d never been very vulnerable. He always had a hard time opening up to people and letting them in. Trust was something he didn’t give easily. But something about the assurance in your voice, something about the gentleness of your tone made him believe that everything was going to be alright, even though he knew deep down that there was a chance that it wouldn’t be.
He allowed himself to trust you. He silenced the voices in his head that told him this was a bad idea and that it wasn’t going to work because he believed in you.
Humming a soft tune, you continued to run your fingers through his hair and he closed his eyes. His heart raced as soon as he was surrounded by darkness, but then, you started singing a soft, sweet melody he’d never heard before.
He’d never heard the song before, but that didn’t matter, he found comfort, not only in your soothing voice, but the words that you’d chosen to sing to him.
Sleep was threatening to pull him under, and for the first time in a long time, he wasn’t trying to fight it.
He focused on you.
He focused on your fingers in his hair and your voice as he was surrounded by darkness and he allowed himself to give into the one thing he’d been denying himself of.
“Even when we fade eventually to nothing-“ You sang softly, a smile on your lips as you felt Bucky’s full weight on your body as he finally relaxed, “You will always be my favorite form of loving”
He managed to sleep for just over three hours. It wouldn’t have been enough for anyone else, but god, was it enough for him.
He dreamt of you.
He dreamt of you standing outside of a home that resembled the one he grew up in so many years ago. The sun was shining brightly, almost too brightly for it to be enjoyable.
You wore a sundress and a wide smile as you waved him over towards you.
He saw a ring on your finger. The small, sapphire stone was familiar to him and he’s pretty sure it belonged to his mother. He hadn’t seen it since he was a child, and was almost positive that it was lost a long time ago, but it looks like it’s found a home on your finger and he’s elated.
As soon as he was close enough, you wrapped your arms around his neck, pressing a kiss to his lips, stunning him.
He wasn’t expecting the gesture, but as soon as he realized what was happening, he brought his hand up to the side of your face and cupped your cheek, deepening the kiss.
His other hand pulls you flush against him and it’s only then that he realizes he can feel the fabric of your dress between his fingers. He pulls away suddenly, looking down to his hands only to find that they’re both flesh.
He isn’t missing a limb and his mouth falls open in shock, tears threatening to spill down his cheeks.
You grab his hands, both of them and he chokes back a sob when he can feel your hands, actually feel both of your hands, with his.
He’s about to say something when a little boy comes running out from the backyard. He can’t be more than five years old and he’s calling out for someone.
Behind him, a younger girl is chasing him. She’s maybe three years old with a dress similar to the one you’re wearing.
“Daddy’s home!” One of them shouts and it’s only then that he realizes just how much the little boy looks like you.
“Daddy’s home.” You confirm as both children wrap their arms around his legs, embracing him tightly.
He looks to you and he’s absolutely speechless. There’s so much he wants to ask, so much he wants to say, but you beat him to it.
“I love you.” You whispered with a smile and he was positive that he never wanted to wake up again.
For the first time in a long time, he didn’t fear sleep. Not when it had the potential to bring him to a place where you were his and he was yours.
In his dreams, he was a normal man. In his dreams, he lived the life he desired most.
He’d come to learn that he was quite fond of dreams, actually, and maybe, just maybe, giving into his desire for sleep wasn’t as bad as he thought it was. Not if it meant he could hold you, kiss you, and say the things he knew he could never say to you when he was awake.
Tagging some angels I adore: @blissfulparker @buckyspurpose @celestialbarnes @buckyblues @fallinforevans @buckycuddlebuddy @honeysucklesteve @sventeen-daybreak @wkemeup @reidsconverse
Send me some feedback!
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Kinktober Day 1
pairing: Tom Holland x reader
Word count: 459
Kinktober masterlist// masterlist
Tom made it very clear when you started your relationship that there were rules for you to follow. Most were simple: Don’t forget to drink water, eat three meals a day, etc. He liked to take care of you and these rules were his way of making sure you took care of yourself when he wasn’t around. But then there were the rules you just couldn’t follow no matter what. Don’t get it wrong, you tried really hard to follow them but tonight you just couldn’t, which led you to this very moment.
Your entire body was shaking as you came for the 4th time that night, or maybe it was the 5th, 6th?
To be honest you lost count a long time ago, tears fell from your face as your hands ran through the mess that was Tom's hair, “Please baby I can’t take it anymore”
Tom chuckled against your clit as he shook his head, the motion making your eyes roll back with pleasure, “What’s my one rule?”
You fought to catch your breath as he sucked roughly on your clit, “D-dont touch myself w-without permission” You stuttered as you felt the familiar painful pleasure build in your stomach.
“And what did you do?” His voice was mocking as he fingers thrusted roughly into you. “I-I touched myself without permission”
“You wanted to cum and that’s what I’m giving you, stop being ungrateful and take what I give you. I can easily edge you for the rest of the night, is that what you want” He roughly slapped your clit before rubbing circles around the hardened sensitive bud
“No” You cried out as you came again, your hips trying desperately to inch away from Tom. The lines between pain and pleasure blurring as the need to cum became overwhelming, “But I’ve learned my lesson, please baby I’ll be a good girl”
“Shut up and cum for me” His demanding voice made you cum on the spot, your vision went white and for a second you thought you were going to pass out.
A sigh of relief escaped your lips as he got up from his place between your legs. You laid there, numb and paralyzed, unsure if moving was an option for you. Tom smiled at how wrecked you looked as he kneeled next to you, helping you raise your head slightly as he gave you some water to sip on, “thank you” you whispered, your voice sore from the constant moaning.
Tom chuckled as he placed the water on the nightstand and returned to his place between your legs, “Don’t thank me now, we’re not finished”
You whined in defeat as you felt his lips return to your clit. You were in for a long night
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PTSS FT. MIKEY
» angst, fluff and comfort (0.8k)
a/n: was this too cheesy or was mikey too ooc? I just listened to this song and went ballistic on my poor keyboard tt I just see him as a really intense person when it comes to feelings yk. If you want to know how they feel towards each other you can read the lyrics of the song!
Mikey remembered it all, the sadness, the anger, the hollowness, and the loneliness he felt when he would go far away from everyone on his nights of dark impulses coming up to him at full force
even if all he wanted in those moments was to be left alone he couldn't help but wonder what would happen if someone was able to find him, to know him that well as to know where he could be when he went alone to who knows where
they weren't able to figure him out, he knew takemicchi would try it, sure, he would go out of his way to try it but he wouldn't know where he could be, maybe ken-chin would know the location but he respected his needs too much to bother him, not knowing that what Mikey wanted was for someone to find him
emma... baji... shinichiro...
maybe they could, emma being blood related to him it came almost like a second nature to know him and having all her life being at his side she would know where he could be, baji who he felt like his soulmate would obviously know and finally shinichiro...
feeling a ironically and sad laugh leave his lips he shaked his head laughing at himself for having such silly thoughts
of course he would know, the two of them always came together to this park, didn't matter what hour it was if one of them felt like going on a walk the other would just silently tag alone
but sadly the people that was able to find him wasn't here anymore
and that's when Mikey's conflicted thoughts start messing around with his mind, knowing how dangerous it is for him to be around the loved ones he stills has made him want to get away from it all
the soft feeling of the snow falling on his hair, the cold air freezing his lungs and making his joints go numb, Mikey's never felt this cold, this hopeless and so able to just give up on everything
is in the mist of his numbness when he felt the sudden warmth coating him and shielding him from the snow, the familiar smell finally invading his nostrils and making his eyes go wide as denial plaged his mind
no no no it can't be, how did he forget about you?
"you're gonna freeze if you stay here... Mikey"
he stays still for a moment, still not wanting to believe it, afraid that his mind is just making up hallucinations in the middle of his despair
he saw the shoes first mind clearing up a little bit slowly making him lift his head, Mikey felt as if time slowed down as his eyes finally came to the sight of your pretty face, smiling softly at him with soft eyes, soft eyes that made his heart pound faster, lips barely opening to whisper a soft
his soft question made you laugh, chest rocking with soft laughs showing him that you were very much alive and actually Infront of him, answering him with the breathy tone he liked so much to hear
"I was really missing you...."
he didn't want to, but he couldn't stop it either, the tears he contained for so many time finally sprouting out of his eyes like waterfalls, falling down his cheeks as his lips wobbled and chest rocked with a sob, sob that soon turned to two, three and so on
you let him cry his heart out to his content, babbles of missing everyone and missing feeling like him meeting your ears and your heart ached with him, softly moving an arm around his back like a mother would cradle her son
you didn't know how many time passed as you continued on comforting Mikey, but it was only until he stopped crying that you spoke to him in barely a whisper, heart offered in your hands for him to take
"please allow me to fight by your side Mikey"
it was your consideration, your patience, dedication, devotion, action, forbearence that keep him flying high, your compassion, reinforcement, encouragement, conviction, acceptance, recognition, assurance, absolution, everything, everything, everything
he never showed this side of himself to anybody, never allowed someone to see him being this vulnerable and it felt so good to finally let it all out, to finally feel his emotions flowing, emotions able to fill the void in his chest and his heart
his arms came to wrap themselves around you as he replied to you in the same whispery tone you spoke to him earlier
"yes, yes, yes, I want to stay by your side"
chest once again rocking with soft laughs now against his made him feel warm, the numbness leaving his body and now all he could see was you
"why don't we start by drinking something warm? you're really cold right now"
he couldn't tell you that he was really warm inside, the thought making him smile without realizing, a carefree and real smile presented for you and for you only
"yeah, let's go"
Mikey was finally found by someone, that someone being you, he loved the feeling of being finally set free by the hand of the person he loved the most in the world
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Pairing: Natasha Romanoff x Fem!Reader
Warnings: cussing, mention of sex, mentions of needles, blood
A/N: hello! i’m obviously not in the medical field, so everything described, i got from google haha. hope y’all enjoy! happy reading <3
anon requested: nat got shot in the arm during the mission so doc!r (her gf and has a strict and serious personality) has do the operation but the thing is nat keeps flirting and flexing her muscles even she's bleeding
Summary: Y/N helps her girlfriend, Natasha Romanoff, with an injury.
Word Count: 1.1K
| masterlist | request rules/guidelines | wips |
please do not repost or try and take ownership of my work. reblogs, likes, and comments are always welcome. <3
You looked up from the paper in your hand at the sound of commotion.
You got up from your stool and made your way over to the door. However, before you could make it there, it swung open and your girlfriend, Natasha, walked in with Steve and Tony trailing behind her.
Your eyes widened at the sight of the redhead clutching her left arm, blood pouring from beneath it.
“Hi, baby. I got shot in the arm and I need you to patch me up.” Natasha spoke so casually that you didn’t even register what she said at first. When you did, you stared at her like she had grown two heads.
You gave Steve a look and he nodded, grabbing Natasha’s other arm and walking her over to the medical table. You went over to a counter and placed on some gloves.
Natasha was laid out on the table and you nodded to the two men in the room.
“I can handle it from here. Did you guys need any help too?” Tony and Steve shook their heads.
“No, nothing some Tylenol can’t help.” Steve joked and you let out a small chuckle at that.
You watched as the two Avengers exited the room, leaving you alone with your girlfriend.
“I need to take your shirt off.” Natasha raised her eyebrows suggestively at you. You rolled your eyes at her and carefully helped her out of the material.
“I mean I don’t think having sex while I’m bleeding is a good idea, but I’m not against it.”
You softly grasped her arm and examined the injury, ignoring her flirting. The bullet wasn’t deep and there was no exit wound.
All you had to do was take the bullet out and close up the hole in her arm. Thankfully, it wasn’t anything serious.
You turned around and walked over to some shelves and drawers, retrieving the proper tools you’d need to extract the bullet and stitch up her arm.
You dragged your stool beside the bed and Natasha sent you a flirtatious smile.
“Doc, I think I’m hurt somewhere else, too.” Natasha grabbed your hand and placed it onto her abdomen, flexing her muscles.
You sent her a serious look and tore your hand out of her grip. You couldn’t believe she was flirting with you while she was literally bleeding.
“This is serious, Natasha. You’re lucky the bullet is in your arm and not somewhere fatal.”
You scolded your girlfriend, taking a needle and inserting it into her skin. It was an anesthetic that would numb the area, so Natasha wouldn’t feel a thing.
She was going to need it if you were going to shove some tweezers into her arm then stitch her skin back together.
“I’m fine, honey. You know I’ll always make it back to my favorite milf.”
You rolled your eyes at the title. Yeah, you had a five-year-old daughter. You were slightly older than Natasha.
She was 37 and you were 41. It was only a four-year gap, but Natasha never failed to tease you for the age difference.
You quickly went to work after a few minutes, just to be sure that the lidocaine had run its course.
You feared that the bullet would be hard to find, but luckily, it wasn’t. You had found it fairly easily and took it out, placing it onto a bedpan beside you.
Natasha was completely unfazed by the entire thing. This wasn’t her first time getting a bullet extracted. She was just completely entranced by you.
She was basically gawking at you as you worked.
Natasha admired the way your eyebrows would scrunch up in concentration, your tongue poking through your teeth as you tried to keep your hand steady.
Also, she absolutely loved how good you were at what you did. You were the best doctor in New York, which is why you were hired to work for the Avengers.
They definitely needed the best they could get considering the massive battles they always find themselves in.
Natasha had pursued you for quite a while, but you never exactly gave in. You were a professional and you knew that having a romantic relationship with a patient wasn’t right.
But she was Natasha fucking Romanoff; no one could resist her. So, eventually, after months of the redhead’s persistency, you had agreed to a date with the redhead and the rest was history.
“You almost done, doc?” Natasha asked as you placed the last few stitches into her arm. You snipped off the excess suture.
“I just finished. You know the drill, don’t move your arm around too much. You need to come back in a week or so to get them removed.”
You gave Natasha instructions as you cleaned up after yourself. However, the redhead extended her arm slowly, grabbing your wrist in her hand.
“Thank you, milfy.” You let out a small laugh at her words and Natasha smiled at the sound.
“You’re welcome, foxy.” You uttered the nickname that Natasha absolutely hated.
One day in the earlier stages of your relationship, you had referred to Natasha as a fox, her red hair reminding you of the animal.
The Russian absolutely hated it and practically fought you every time you’d call her by that name.
“You’re suddenly not my favorite milf anymore.” Natasha mumbled, letting go of your wrist, allowing you to throw away the remaining trash.
“Oh yeah? And who is your favorite milf now?” You teasingly asked, going to sit by her side once more.
“Wanda.” You let out a full-hearted laugh at her response. You shook your head frantically.
“Well, I don’t blame you. She’s my favorite milf too.” Natasha sent you a glare. You sharply raised your eyebrow at her.
“Don’t give me that look! You mentioned Wanda first!” Natasha pouted and you leaned forward, giving her a quick peck.
When you moved back, a wide smile was now spread across the assassin’s face.
“Seriously though, you need to be more careful. I know you have me to help you out, but that doesn’t mean you need to get hurt all the time.”
You frowned and Natasha stared into your eyes softly, her green irises shining with love.
“I promise I’ll be more careful, but you gotta admit that it’s fun being able to see these guns. Come on, admit it, it’s fun.”
Natasha flexed her good arm, showing off her toned muscles. She also clenched her stomach, accentuating her abs.
You let out a dramatic sigh, placing your hand on top of her stomach.
“It’s fun to see those guns.”
“See! I knew it. I knew you liked them.”
───────── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ──────────
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Emergency Room, Part 1 ~ Bucky Barnes
A big thank you to @writing-on-the-wahl for the beta read and encouragement. Seriously, I wouldn’t have written this without her.
Summary: Y/N is an ER nurse with Tony as her emergency contact, only when called about an emergency, Tony sends Bucky instead.
Word count: 3.5k
When I arrived at the makeshift infirmary in the Avenger’s compound, Tony was waiting for me at the door. “Y/N,” he said with relief, holding out a hand to shake mine. “Thank goodness you’re here.”
Grime smudged his face, and the dark circles under his eyes jumped out at me. They must’ve just made it back to the compound, or he would’ve already cleaned himself up. I briefly wondered what they’d been doing to cause this much disarray.
Shaking off my curiosity, I rolled my sleeves up. “What’ve we got?”
He stepped aside to let me in, and I saw Clint Barton, Steve Rogers, and Bucky Barnes sitting on separate exam chairs. They all looked exhausted, but Clint and Steve both waved upon seeing me, good natured until the end.
Bucky, however, merely watched me with a flat stare, the attention making my heart jump a little as he tracked my every movement. I went to the sink to wash my hands, hiding my face from view.
It didn’t matter that he was always among the injured when I came here to patch up the Avengers: he’d never said a word to me, only nodding yes or no. I’d long since wondered if I’d offended him somehow, a thought that deflated me.
Considering Clint was the only one injured with a normal healing rate, I went to him first.
“Where does it hurt?” I asked Clint, and he held up his wrist. “What did you do?”
“Tried to break my fall.”
“Did you hear or feel a snap?” He shook his head. “Is there numbness or tingling in your fingers?” He shook his head again. “How are Laura and the kids?” I asked, trying to distract him as I studied the joint.
He broke out in a grin. “They’re great, thanks for asking, though Laura thinks my idea to deep fry the turkey for Thanksgiving this year is stupid.” I chuckled, opening the cabinet where the tape, bandages, and braces were kept.
Tony kept the infirmary better stocked than most ERs, a fact of which I was endlessly jealous. If I could treat the traumas here, patient survival rates would go through the roof.
“How’s the ER treating you?” Clint asked.
I smiled, not surprised in the least that he remembered, and went over to the fridge to grab an ice pack. “A few nurses quit, and there’s never a dull moment when the ER is short-staffed.”
I carefully set the ice pack on his wrist. “Just rest it, and ice it for twenty minutes every few hours, okay?” Clint nodded. “You should also wear a brace.”
“No fancy cast for my kids to sign?” he quipped.
“Sorry, no. There was no obvious deformity, so I’m assuming it’s just a sprain.”
Clint nodded, and I moved on to Steve.
“Where does it hurt?” I asked him, and he stuck out his leg, showing me the bloody bandages wrapped around his thigh.
“It’s a gunshot wound.” He was so casual, one could’ve thought he was discussing what he needed from the grocery store.
Then again, gunshot wounds were probably routine for all the Avengers.
I shook my head, pulling on a pair of gloves before unraveling the bandages to reveal the bleeding had already stopped. “I wish all my patients had superhuman healing.”
Steve chuckled as I got to work. “Nursing sounds miserable.”
“Well, the plus side of working in the ER means no one stays for long. Either they’re moved to a different floor, or we patch them up and send them home. Even the dangerous patients aren’t around for very long.”
I turned to see Bucky frowning, and it took me a few moments to realize he’d actually spoken.
I tried to school my shocked features into a more neutral expression, clearing my throat. “It, uh, it comes with the job.” I turned back to Steve. “With your healing rates, that should be healed after a couple nights sleep. Just don’t take any baths or go swimming.”
Steve nodded. “Thanks, Y/N.”
Tony cleared his throat from behind me. “Steve and Clint, why don’t we go and get something to eat? Let Y/N take care of Bucky, hmm?”
I looked behind me in time to see the three men exchange a look that I couldn’t quite understand.
“Sure, let’s go,” said Clint, in a falsely lighthearted voice. Steve and Clint got to their feet and followed Tony out the door...
...leaving me alone with Bucky.
Feeling shaky, I approached him. “Wh-where does it hurt?” I asked gently.
In response, he pulled his shirt over his head, and I suddenly didn’t know where to look. I was a nurse; I’d seen countless patients fully nude, let alone shirtless.
Yet, being hyper aware of his tanned skin and tight abs caused an eruption of butterflies in my stomach.
I shook myself, trying to get my head back into the task at hand. One of his sides was badly bruised, a massive, angry red and purple mark that made me slightly nauseous when I imagined how painful it was.
But already, the edge of the ugly bruise was turning green, signaling healing.
“Are there no jobs that pay better?” Bucky asked, taking me away from my train of thought.
“It’s not about the pay,” I replied, running my fingers down his side to check his pain response. The skin in between his eyebrows furrowed, but that was his only indication of pain. “If it was, I would’ve accepted Mr. Stark’s three figure offer and moved into a room here on the compound.”
“How dangerous?” Bucky asked as I started to palpate the skin.
“Ummm...the patients throw a punch every now and then.” Bucky tensed, but I couldn’t tell if it was in response to what I was saying or pain. “But that’s what security is for.”
He stayed silent as I finished my examination. “Those should heal soon too,” I told him, turning around to wash my hands. “Unfortunately, there’s not much I can do to help, unless you want something for the pain.”
When he didn’t respond, I turned to look at him.
“I don’t like the idea of you in danger,” he said quietly.
I blinked, surprised at his concern. “I’m not in danger. Not really.”
I thought I caught sight of a frown as he pulled his shirt over his head, but I dismissed it. He couldn’t be worried about me, he barely knew me.
Jarvis spoke up, making me jump. “Ms. Y/L/N, Mr. Stark would like to invite you to dinner with the avengers tonight.”
“Thank him for the offer, Jarvis, but I’ll be late for my shift tonight if I don’t leave now.”
I turned to leave.
“Wait.” A metal hand grabbed my shoulder, turning me back around to face Bucky who was now standing. “Just...be safe,” he murmured, his cold fingers nearly making me gasp as he ran a hand down my arm to link hands.
I felt my cheeks heat up, and I scolded myself for being so transparent. I cleared my throat. “I’m a big girl, I’ll be aright.”
He watched me warily for a moment before nodding and letting me go.
I stood there for a moment, staring stupidly at him before shaking myself back into reality.
I was going to be late for work.
Still, I felt his eyes trained on me as I left the room.
I reached the ER fifteen minutes early instead of my regular twenty minutes. Changing into my scrubs and clocking in took five minutes, and I didn’t want the nurses to feel rushed when giving me their report.
As the nurse with tired eyes gave me the report, I was surprised at how many rooms were full.
Sunday nights weren’t usually this busy. The busiest time of week, unless there was a holiday, was Mondays.
I didn’t know if statistically people got sick more often on weekdays or if people really didn’t want to come to the hospital on a weekend, but during the day shift on Mondays, the ER was slammed.
The nurse said goodbye and left, leaving me with 5 patients to deal with.
I got to work.
Eleven hours later, the sun was streaming in through the ambulance bay doors, the only signal that it was almost 0700. Just a little bit longer, and I could go home to my bed and sleep.
Just a little while longer.
Stifling a yawn, I pulled back the curtain in room 5 and got to work starting an IV.
IVs were my favorite. There was something so beautiful about the whole process of creating a pathway into the body to help the body heal itself.
It was almost...magical.
After bringing the doctor to room 7 and ordering a CT scan for room 4, I sat down to start on the discharge for room 6.
Tyler, one of the day shift nurses, arrived and efficiently relieved one of the other nurses after getting her report.
I glanced at my watch. 0658. It seemed the day shift nurse did not share my same affinity for being early.
I was about to log out of my computer when I saw the house supervisor trooping down the hallway. It was obvious from her face that she was nervous. She walked straight up to Tyler.
“What’s up, Cathy?” Tyler chirped.
“You’re the only nurse scheduled for today. The other two scheduled for today resigned last week.” She started to wring her hands. “I’ve alerted the float pool nurses on call for today, but none have responded so far.”
Tyler’s happy demeanor melted away, and he gulped. “Ah. Well, then. Okay, thanks for telling me. I...I can handle it.”
“No,” I blurted, causing them both to turn to me.
What was I doing? I was exhausted, hungry, and starting to smell. I needed to mind my own business and let them figure it out.
But the hopeful look on Tyler’s face made me stand straighter.
“I’ll stay.” The house supervisor opened her mouth to argue, but I shot her a glare and crossed my arms. “I’m not leaving Tyler on his own with only a few CNAs to deal with a Monday morning rush.”
“You’re not supposed to work a double shift,” the house supervisor mumbled, not meeting my eyes.
I stuck my chin out stubbornly. “It’s not the first, and it won’t be the last.”
The house supervisor reluctantly nodded, and Tyler slapped me on the back. “Thanks, Y/N.”
“Don’t thank me yet,” I mumbled as the call light for room 8 lit up.
The day passed slower than I could’ve ever imagined.
The waiting room had been so full, family members were having to give up their seats for other patients, and they just kept coming.
The cases were starting to get muddled together in my head.
One suspected case of meningitis, a pediatric case of persistent seizures, five adults down with the flu, a couple sprained ankles, a suspected overdose, two heart attacks, a few minor car accidents, and still more I couldn’t remember.
It’d been so busy, I hadn’t even gotten a break for lunch.
Finally sitting down at my computer to update my charts, I glanced at the clock.
One and a half more hours, then I’d be done.
I sighed, resting my forehead on the desk. It wouldn’t be safe for me to drive myself home at this point. I could take a shower in the locker room, then sleep in the on call room. Maybe I’d even get some food from the cafeteria.
My stomach turned at the idea of the cafeteria food.
I refocused on updating my charts, but my stomach continued to churn. Maybe I needed to take a break. I shook my head, finishing up the discharge for room 8.
Michelle, one of the CNAs, came into view. “Y/N, Dr. Cook ordered an EKG for room 6.”
I got to my feet and stumbled as the room started to spin slightly. I blinked hard, and my vision stabilized.
“Hello, ma’am,” I said with a smile as I dragged the EKG machine into the room. “I’m here to do your EKG.”
“Hun, you don’t look so good,” the kindly old woman replied.
I forced a smile. “Don’t worry about me, Mrs. Matlack, we’re here to take care of you.”
It took me twice as long to run the EKG as it normally did, but thankfully, the general public did not know how long it took to run an EKG. I finished up, and wheeled the machine out, promising that the doctor would look at her results and be by to talk to her.
My vision swayed again as I pulled the EKG machine towards the supply closet, swiping my badge in front of the reader and pushing the door open.
Suddenly, everything pitched to one side, and I lost my balance. I threw out my hands to grab something to hold myself up.
Instead, my body slammed into the floor.
It took everyone much longer than anticipated to find me on the closet floor. No matter how loudly I proclaimed I never lost consciousness, they’d forced me to get a CT scan.
Wearing a hospital gown that showed my butt was humiliating, nevermind the fact that all of my coworkers kept popping in to check on me.
“No, don’t put me in a room,” I moaned as Michelle wheeled me into room 8. “The rooms are for the patients.”
“You are a patient.” She helped me to my feet and onto the bed.
I’d never admit it, but it felt good to lay down and rest my eyes. I heard Michelle pull the curtain. “Really,” I told her, “this is overkill. I’m fine.”
“Overkill, huh?” said a male voice.
My eyes fluttered open, and I was sure they were deceiving me because Bucky stood in the doorway, arms folded as he looked me up and down. Even though he had a casual air, I could see the gritting of his jaw and the angry set of his lips.
“Bucky? What are you doing here?”
His eyes continued the full-body scan, checking for blood, bruises, or limbs going in the wrong direction. “Apparently, Stark is your emergency contact, and he was in the middle of an important meeting, so he asked me to come.” He gingerly sat beside me, glancing up at the heart monitor. “Are you okay?”
I tried and failed to sit up. “I’m fine.”
“People who are fine don’t end up in the ER. What happened?”
“I just got a little lightheaded, that’s all, this is totally unnecessary.”
“If the trained medical professionals think you need to be checked out, then you need to be checked out.”
“I’m a trained medical professional.”
Bucky had just enough time to shake his head before Tyler bustled into the room, holding the supplies for an IV.
“Nuh uh.” I wagged my finger back and forth. “Don’t waste your time doing an IV on me, I can do it myself.” I held out my hands expectantly.
“Your hands are shaking,” Bucky said quietly. “You really want to stick yourself with a needle?”
I shot him a glare. “At least let a nursing student try it, they’re the ones that need the practice.”
Tyler scoffed. “Forgive me if I don’t take orders from the person who thought it’d be a good idea to work a double shift.
“You’ve been working since I last saw you?” Bucky asked, disbelief written all over his face. I didn’t say anything, which was answer enough. “Y/N, it’s been over 22 hours!”
“Oh, really? I hadn’t noticed,” I replied sarcastically.
“She didn’t get a lunch break either,” Tyler disclosed.
“Thank you, Tyler.” I shot him a glare, hoping he’d get the point.
Bucky huffed. “Y/N, what were you thinking?”
“They were short-staffed! What was I supposed to do, just leave?!”
Bucky shook his head, muttering something under his breath that sounded suspiciously like “You’re crazy.”
“That’s mean,” I grumbled back as Tyler readied the needle. “I prefer the term ‘dedicated’.”
Bucky sat with me as I waited for Dr. Cook to give me the all clear.
“You don’t have to stay,” I told him, feeling awkward that Tony hadn’t given him much of a choice in the matter. “I can take care of myself.”
“Why’s Stark your emergency contact?”
I scratched my neck. “Well...I don’t have any family in the area. Not too many friends outside of work either. When I started working for Tony, Jarvis alerted him to the fact that I had no emergency contact, and Tony insisted I put him down.”
Bucky chuckled. “Sounds like him.”
It was quiet for a few moments, nothing but the noises of the ER drifting into the room.
“I thought you’d been attacked,” Bucky confessed, looking down at the floor. “When Tony said you needed me, I pictured the worst.” The distress on his face was the most genuine emotion I’d seen from him. I kept silent.
He shook his head. “Then, I find out that you did this to yourself.”
“Don’t be dramatic,” I interjected, even as my stomach twisted at his displeasure. “It’s nothing that a little sleep and food won’t cure.”
As if my words had summoned him, Dr. Cook bustled into the room, giving me the discharge papers to sign.
It took me nearly fifteen minutes to change out of my hospital gown and into my clothes.
Bucky came in, slinging my work bag over his shoulder like it weighed nothing. “Can you walk?” he asked gently.
“Can I walk?” I scoffed under my breath, pushing myself to my feet.
For a moment, I stood eye-level with the soft smile on Bucky’s face. But then my knees gave out, and I tried to grab onto the bed to hold myself up.
Two arms shot out and caught me, holding me up.
“I’m sorry,” I mumbled, struggling to hold my head up. “I didn’t mean to-”
“Don’t worry about it.” Bucky slid an arm under my legs and easily pulled me into his arms. “I got you.”
“But what about your ribs?” I protested. “Aren’t you in pain?”
Bucky looked down at me with a fond smile. “Don’t be dramatic,” he quoted back at me, making me laugh.
Giving in, I looped my arms around his neck, resting my heavy head on his chest.
He carried me out of the ER, walking towards a bright yellow sports car I recognized as Tony’s. I distantly wondered if Tony suggested Bucky take something other than his motorcycle or if he was blissfully unaware. “Wait,” I mumbled, pointing at my car parked in employee parking. “That’s my car, I have to drive it home.”
“You don’t actually expect me to let you drive in this state, do you?”
“Tell you what, if you can stand for a minute straight, I’ll let you drive yourself.”
“Mean,” I mumbled into his jacket.
His chest rumbled with a chuckle. “That’s what I thought.”
Depositing me in the passenger seat, he gently closed the door.
My eyes fell shut on the way home, and I rested my cheek on the arm rest, relishing the fact that I could finally close my eyes.
It wasn’t until I heard the car door open and shut that I blearily looked up to see the inside of Tony’s garage.
“Wait,” I said weakly as Bucky scooped me up into his arms. “This isn’t my place.”
“No, you’re staying with me tonight.” Any protest of mine was swallowed up as I yawned so large, my jaw cracked.
Bucky carried me into the elevator, pushing the button for a different floor than the guest rooms.
“Wait,” I said weakly, “I don’t want to intrude. You already had to wait with me and drive me here, it’s not fair on you.”
Bucky shushed me gently. “Don’t worry about it.”
“But what if the others see me? I patch you guys up, you guys shouldn’t see me like this.”
“What did I just say?” Bucky said, not unkindly. “Don’t worry about it. I’ve got you.” The doors dinged open, and Bucky carried me down the hallway to his room, managing to open the door with one hand.
I felt him lay me down on something soft, and I opened my eyes to see him untying the laces of my shoes. “I don’t want to take the bed,” I protested, struggling to keep my eyes open. “You have to sleep too.”
Bucky rolled his eyes as he pulled the covers over me. “It won’t kill me to sleep on the floor.”
I was quickly losing consciousness. “But you…you shouldn’t…you shouldn’t…”
“It’s okay, Y/N. Sleep. I’ve got you.”
I could’ve sworn I felt a gentle kiss on my forehead, but I was asleep before I could finish the thought.
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Punishment (fushiguro toji x reader)
| PAIRINGS: fushiguro toji x fem!reader
| WARNINGS: explicit, impact play (slapping), degradation, dubcon(?), dirty talk, dumbification, overstimulation, lil objectification, toji being mean, grammar errors
| WORD COUNT: 1,065
A/N: so uh... writer block over thanks to toji 😳 small drabble tbh bc toji ‼️i kinda went off on this one so it’s kinda nasty and overall dirty so yea! please check warnings if uncomfortable~ but the way i want toji to be this big mean mf who manhandles me into submission UHM anyway i think he’s old school so only missionary mentioned here bc fuck it !! hope you like it just wanted to be really nasty with toji ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
Of course you couldn’t wait.
The moment Toji tiredly walked into the room, sweaty from today’s mission, his usual tight shirt marking the contour of his abs and flopping down onto his usual spot in bed, you were already crawling to him like you constantly did.
All it took for him to rail you into the mattress was your whining, needy for his touch and desperate to have his cock deep inside you; it worked everytime, really, you were confident this time wasn’t going to be different.
However, it seemed Toji wasn’t feeling quite as merciful as other occasions.
“Quit your fucking whining, bitch.” He growled deeply as he thrusted harshly into you, the only touch you were receiving from him was his calloused hands holding your legs up in his shoulders as his cock kept abusing your sloppy tight hole.
“P-Please, I c-can’t...” you sobbed, tears running down your cheeks and blurring your sight as the third orgasm of the night was building up in your core and Toji seemed far from over. “T-Toji...” You tried to reach for him, your small hands making their way to his chest only to be met with a hard slap against your thigh as a warning: Don’t touch me.
But oh, how you wanted to touch him. To be touched by him beyond his own pleasure.
It was simple really: you were his toy. Toji made it clear the first time he fucked you, stating he didn’t like to repeat himself. Not now, not ever. And, God, the way he had you drunk off his fingers instantly made you agree to everything he wanted. And you were more than glad you accepted.
“You can’t what, whore?” The way his hips slammed against you was too rough, sending you back on the mattress until you were arching your back in pleasure, eyes rolling back in your head when he buried himself to the hilt, coming to a stop. “Weren’t you begging to get used like this? C‘mon, beg again. Beg for this cock.” Toji slipped out slowly as he laughed mockingly, making you feel his thick vein thy adorned his length against your inner walls and his bruising grip in your thighs. “I love it when you beg.”
You could see a hint of a playful smirk on his face through your lashes and, If it wasn’t for the fact you were being impaled with his cock, you would be more hung on the fact he used the word love for the first time since you met him. But you knew better than to question him when he was about to ruin you again, so you complied.
“Please, keep using me. Keep using my sloppy cunt, make a mess out of me, please, please, please, Toji. Touch me, please.” You were almost sobbing at this point, begging for more of him as you were trying to move your hips to meet his length once again. “Plea- Ahh!”
Your begging was interrupted by his cock entering you again in a sharp thrust, hitting the sweet spot within you as your vision started going white but not before seeing Toji’s satisfied smile, lips curling into a dark smirk.
“God, you’re so pathetic. Wanting me to touch you even more?” He mocked, The pace of his hips movements increased, your legs now wobbling on his shoulders like you were just a doll as you fisted the sheets. Toji took notice of that and laughed, his cock going so see you could feel it kissing your cervix as you moaned his name loudly. “Cant have enough, huh? Your dumb cunt keeps getting tighter.”
It was just too much. The way Toji was fucking you was ruthless and your pussy was starting to pulsate as you got closer. You opened your eyes with difficulty as drool ran down your chin, looking down at the way his cock disappeared inside you quickly to then look up at Toji’s sharp and lustful eyes, frowning. He didn’t seem to like it.
Toji’s hands finally left your legs to touch your face for a small moment before grabbing you by the back of your head, fingers tangling between the strands of your hair before pulling your head up, your gaze directly falling to watch the way he kept torturing your messy cunny.
“Keep watching. Watch the way you cream around my cock like a bitch in heat.” He let out a deep moan when he pulled your hair harshly and you tightened around him, making Toji pull out almost completely to enjoy the way you were throbbing for his cock. “Fuck! you like it when I mess you up like this? You dirty little whore”
And maybe it was the way Toji thrusted his whole length into you once again, burying himself to the hilt roughly, or maybe it was the stinging yet delicious pain that burned your left cheek after his hand came into contact with it but you were cumming around his cock for the third time with a loud scream, vision going white as your body spammed underneath him as he watched you come undone, almost exploding right there and then inside you while hearing the way his name fell of your lips like a prayer.
“Shit! Yeah, just like that. Cream around my cock.” Toji encouraged you as he kept fucking you through your high, eyes never leaving your centre and the way you coated him with your juices until you were dumb enough to even talk anymore.
Your body kept twitching with pleasure overflowing your system, limbs and mind feeling numb but not enough to notice the way Toji was still completely hard inside you, even if you were far gone by now. He wasn’t going to stop until you were broken.
“Dumb and messy,” his voice sounded like an echo in your fucked out state, too sweet with a hint of a caress in your cheek as he moved again inside you. “That’s how I love you.”
You wished you could be lucid enough to make sure this wasn’t your delusional mind playing tricks on you, eyes filling with tears again as Toji used you again and again, playing with your body just like he played with your heart. You couldn’t complain. You didn’t want to complain.
This was your punishment for your greediness and you were going to take it.
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mourning for you
a/n: hehe. oops. let's try to make this post past 100 notes? please? XD we did really well for the comforting you hcs, so perhaps this might do well as well! gah not to sound too despo..... but yanno... please don't let this flop TuT
char: thoma x. gn!reader, gorou x gn!reader, kazuha x gn!reader tw: death, grief, mourning.
thoma ⋆ ࣪. ᓚᘏᗢ
- you died in battle.
- as part of the resistance, you were challenged to a fight of honour by sara
- you accepted... and didn't make it out alive.
- there's a reason why the whole resistance wasn't exactly for the traveller taking part in the fight of honour...
- because they had literally watched you die on the battlefield from it.
- anyways, back to thoma...
- he grieved for almost a month straight, thinking of all the things he used to do with you
- stargazing, picnicking, discussions over the resistance, walking to meetings together... all these little things he took for granted until you were gone.
- he wasn't your usually-cheerful thoma :")
- thoma kept hugging your old pictures close to him and ayaka would usually find him sitting on the rocks, a picture of you in his hand
- "shh, it'll be okay. they're in a much better place now." she weeps with him, rubbing his back.
- yeah... thoma would be alright. maybe not now, maybe not near in the future. but one day. he'd never forget you either.
gorou ⋆ ࣪. ᓚᘏᗢ
- gorou was a mess after you were gone.
- he was constantly crying, constantly grieving. kazuha had to comfort him almost 24/7, because the you-shaped hole in his heart left a bigger impact than what anyone could have imagine
- gorou genuinely had a hard time coping with your loss. nights after nights of crying, mourning and grieving turned him into someone that felt emotionally numb for a while
- the concept of your loss was really hard for him to grasp – kokomi just watched him, a sad look on her face
- she tried to comfort him in all the ways she could but it was hard to know how the man was feeling.
- gorou wept and wept until he couldn't cry anymore; his voice hoarse with the tears and the pain that wrapped around his throat, squeezing it tightly – he couldn't breathe. it was swallowing him up from the inside.
- the pain eventually went away, but it wasn't as easy as it seemed
- nights of yearning for you turned into weeks, then months. gorou's recovery period was much longer than he thought it would be.
- he would never forget you, though. he loved you too much to do so.
- "(y/n)... i miss you. do you miss me up there? i hope you do. i'll never forget you."
kazuha ⋆ ࣪. ᓚᘏᗢ
- oh man.
- kazuha was, understandably, distraught after he had learnt of your passing away
- it took beidou weeks to get him to come out of his room in the alcor to do anything else other than eat or bathroom. or navigate or something.
- he mourned for weeks, the idea of you gone not fully processing and still raw with shock. thoma and gorou had tried their best to cheer him up, but they were also still processing your death.
- simply put, kazuha hated living life without you.
- he hated not being able to stare at the sea with you at night
- or go fishing when the alcor stopped at guyun stone forest
- or gazing at the night sky from the crow's nest
- kazuha was lonely. without his lover by his side, life felt meaningless. even with beidou, or the crew... life had lost that spark to it.
- "(y-y/n)? i really miss you tonight. more so especially. i saw a silk flower today, and it reminded me of the shade of your clothes you always wore. i hope you're in celestia, remembering me.. as the time passes us by, and as i get older... i will never forget you, my love."
- kazuha would never forget you. the salty sea smell, your jackets that hung on his door, your letters to him... all these little reminders would never make his memory of you go away.
please like/reblog if you liked this! >u<
taglist: @bookuya, @mika-zuko, @dilucbar, @starglitterz, @cherubbic, @noirkkat, @the-gayest-sky-kid, @shxnosuke, @eternism
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Hi... so I was just going through your page and I saw your 'falling in love' mini series and I have to say; I fell in love with it😍. Your writing is so good and I enjoy reading it.
So your asking for requests and I have one(or maybe a lot 🌝)
You're so good in writing angst, so could you write angst for Tomura, Dabi, Hawks, Shinsou and Aizawa. They get in a serious fight with their s/o (fem reader) and almost break up but they (either s/o or the boys) storm off and leaves for some days. They boys go looking for their s/o to apologize but the s/o is really mad cause the boys said some very hurtful things. The s/o eventually takes them back but it'll take some time and a lot of grovelling from the boys. So super angst to fluff please......
Thank you very much
If you don't want to write this, it's totally ok....
Have a nice day 🥰
Break Up and Make Up
Tomura, Dabi, Hawks, and Aizawa x Reader
Warnings: "Babygirl" used once in Dabis, angst, reader wants marriage in Aizawa's, arguing, semi happy endings, If I missed anything let me know!
A/N: Yes! Yes! Thank you so much! I love writing angst! It's my favorite and this is sooooo good! I left Shinsou out because I honestly had a really hard time writing his, so I hope that's ok!
Also this was so sweet so thank you very much!!!!!
"You're not going," Shigaraki said matter of factly as he plopped himself down on the couch.
You huffed, "I'm fully capable of taking care of myself. I'm currently one of the top ranked villains."
"You think I care?" he snapped.
"You should," you retorted.
"Well, I don't," he shrugged.
You took a minute trying to calm yourself, "Then why am I even here? Why am I a part of the League?"
"You're pretty to look at and something to fuck," he waved you off. "That's it."
Tears welled up in your eyes. Your blood boiled and your heart ached. Your body went numb. There were just too many emotions running through your body for you to process.
"I... I'm going out," you breathed out before walking out of the building.
Tomura waved you out of the room, not even bothering to go after you.
You stormed out of the building. Tears were streaming down your face. How could he say those things to you? He made you feel so small and insignificant. You knew you were worth more than that. You knew you were better than that.
You just decided that you needed some time away from him. Seeing him right now... wasn't the best idea.
You would bite his head off.
You were sitting on top of your favorite old and abandon building. It had been your favorite spot to be and just clear your mind, which you had been doing for almost a week now. Even still, you avoided this place knowing that others knew this spot.
"I hoped I would find you up here," Tomura spoke quietly from behind you.
You just hummed in response looking up at the stars and swinging your legs off the side of the building.
"Not even going to talk to me?" he scoffed.
"Nothing to say," you replied bluntly.
He sighed and took a spot next to you, "You know I didn't mean it right?"
"Sure," you shrugged. "Whatever you say."
"Seriously?" he asked sounding defeated.
"Mhm," you waved him off. "You really hurt me. You can say whatever, but your words hit me hard. I'm so much more than what you give me credit for, and I'm sick of it."
"I really am sorry," he sighed taking your hand in his making sure to keep his pinky up. "You're a great value to us... to me. You mean the world to me. You are so much more than that. I know that."
"It's going to take time to heal from this," you breathed out.
Your heart still ached. You still hurt. His words cut you deep, however, he was also hurt. He was hurt with himself. He hated himself for making you feel this way, and he was determined to show you how much better he could be.
"I hope it takes the rest of our lives," he smiled placing a sweet kiss to your knuckles.
"You're always gone," you snapped. "You're out all hours of the night. Or maybe you're gone for days on end and I don't know where you've gone to. I'm just so sick of it."
"That's the life of a villain, doll," Dabi smirked.
He was laying on your bed while you paced the room. This was only the 500th time the two of you were having this argument. It happened every time he left... or came home... or did almost anything.
You really didn't mind his lifestyle. You didn't mind that he was a villain. However, it seemed that the longer he did it the less involved he was with you. Almost every time he left he was given an ultimatum, but then there you were letting him back in to your home, fixing him up, and letting him have his way with you before he left again.
"What even are we, Dabi?" you asked with much hurt in your heart.
"Whatever," he shrugged. "I never really liked labels anyway."
Your heart hurt over this. You were also a little upset. The two of you really had something... or so you thought. Tears threatened to escape the hold in your eyes.
"Just go," you huffed out pointing towards the door.
Dabi got up and scoffed, "Whatever. Guess I'll just go off and find my next side piece."
That just added to your emotions. You now sat alone in your apartment sad and angry. You didn't need him, but he would soon come to find he needed you.
"Babe," Dabi called out as he walked into your apartment.
You were out. You'd probably be back home soon.
He silently wished you would hurry back. He had some pretty bad injuries. He wanted you to heal him like you always did.
He craved your gentle touch. Needed you to hold him how you would after he got injured. He wanted you so bad.
God, he needed you...
The lock clicked to your apartment and Dabi perked up at the sound.
"You're home," he said as you walked in the door.
You looked over at him almost in shock he was there, "How'd you get in?"
Emotions flowed through your veins upon seeing him. How could he be so mean to you then show up at your place expecting all to be fine? He was so rude with you before. He gave no care to you. You were just a... side piece.
"Spare key," he shrugged. "I need some help with so-"
"No," you waved him off. "I don't have the time. Now, please leave."
Dabi's face dropped. You had never been so harsh with him.
"I'd also like my spare key back," you said holding out your hand.
Dabi realized then what he really did. He realized how bad he had fucked up last time he saw you.
"Doll," he cooed, "don't be like this."
You crossed your arms, "I'm serious, Dabi. Leave."
Shit, it was worse than he thought.
"Babygirl, you know I didn't mean it," he tried to defend himself.
You scoffed, "Dabi, I meant it this time. I'm done. Besides, I'm sure there's another 'side piece' who would love to patch you up."
It did pain you to see him so hurt. You could see not only his physical injuries, but you could see the hurt in his eyes. He needed you, and now he was realizing what it was going to be like without you.
"Shit," he mumbled under his breath, "baby, I didn't mean it. You know you're more to me than that. I swear if you want a label then I'll go tomorrow and get you a ring. Fuck it, we can get married right here right now if you want. I just... I didn't mean it."
Tears fell down your cheeks. Finally, Dabi moved to you and wiped away all your tears while coddling you. It was going to take time and effort, but you both needed each other... more than some petty argument.
Keigo Takami / Hawks
"I just don't like the idea of it," you sighed.
You felt like a broken record. You were repeating your reasoning over and over again. This was the millionth time you had explained yourself to him. God he was so infuriating sometimes.
Hawks shrugged, "I don't see what's wrong with it."
"Hawks," you sighed, "how would you like it if I took a nude photo shoot and posted it up for millions of people to see it?"
"It's my job," he quipped.
You rolled your eyes, "Trying to talk to you is useless. You have no regard for my feelings, at all."
"God, you're so clingy," he huffed. "I'm a model. Get over yourself."
"Seriously?" you snapped losing all your patience.
He sighed out getting up and grabbing his things, "I could literally have anyone I wanted. Women and men alike are all over me all the time. I could just go find someone who supports me."
"Keigo, if you walk out that door don't bother coming back," you yelled over your shoulder to him.
He cringed at the use of his real name. Now, he wished he would have never told you his true name.
"Bye," he said walking out the door and leaving you a mess.
You broke down sobbing immediately. You dropped to the floor. You wished yet again you wouldn't have said anything. You wished you would have just left it alone, but you were also glad you held your ground. You deserved better. If he wanted to put it all out there then so be it. You would be no part of it.
There were a few knocks on your door pulling your attention away from the sad movie you had been watching.
You hadn't been expecting any company, so you wondered who it could be.
"Seriously?" Hawks snapped from the other side of the door.
You sighed before calling out to him, "What do you want?"
"My key isn't working," he huffed.
"Because I changed the locks," you shrugged finally getting up and walking to the door.
You opened the door and stood in the doorway. You wanted to make your point here. You told him what would happen, and here he was expecting you to cave like you always did. You were going to hold your ground... even if you couldn't even look him in the eyes.
However, by not looking him in the eyes you couldn't see the hurt in them. He realized now that he really had messed up. It had been a few days since he had come back to see you, but you always let him in and welcomed him... even when you were mad at him.
"Baby," he tried to manage out.
You were quick to cut him off, "No, you don't get to use me and push me around like that. I'm done just like I said I would."
Tears fell from your eyes and your voice broke as you spoke. Hawk's heart dropped. He really did hate seeing you like this.
"I canceled the shoot," he spat out.
"What?" you asked.
He sighed, "I know I can be stubborn, but I canceled the shoot. I knew it wasn't fair for me to just not take your feelings into consideration. I know I still walked out, and I also know it's been a few days... but please... don't let this be the end."
"I... come in," you sighed out. "We have some things to talk over."
"I'm not saying you have to," you sighed out. "I just thought we could talk about it. We've been together for so long now."
No, scratch that. "Been together for so long" didn't even begin to describe how long you two had been with each other. You two had the conversation only a few times, but you couldn't help what you wanted.
"You know how I feel about marriage," Aizawa groaned out pinching the bridge of his nose.
You sighed, "I don't understand why though. So it's completely off the table then? No conversation or anything?'
"That's right," he said. "I've told you this before. I don't want to get married, and I never will."
Tears welled up in your eyes. You tried to hold them back as you finished washing the dishes. Aizawa leaving you there alone without another word.
After the dishes were done you decided that a walk was much needed. You grabbed your coat and wallet leaving with just a small "goodbye" to signal you were leaving.
You walked through the doors of your apartment.
"Y/N," Aizawa called.
You sighed, "Yeah, it's me."
He rushed to you, "I've been really worried about you. Where have you been?"
"I needed some time to think," you shrugged. "Speaking of, I think I'm going to find somewhere else to stay."
"You're leaving?" he asked hurt gracing every one of his features.
You sighed, "We're two very different people. I just need some time."
"Is marriage really that important to you?" he asked taking your hand in his.
"Yeah, it kind of is," you sighed out. "I mean, I guess it's just a piece of paper to some, but I think it's important."
"If it's that important to you then... we can make it happen," he smiled.
You sighed, "It's not just marriage. You just completely disregarded my emotions. I really want this, and you didn't even hear me out about it. You didn't want it so end of conversation."
"I... you're right, and I'm very sorry," he breathed out. "I just don't want you to leave. I'll do anything to keep you here."
"I'll stay, but we're going to work on things," you agreed.
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PAIRING: Kuroo Tetsurou x Reader
GENRE: Angst | Hurt/Comfort | Reverse Comfort
WARNINGS: a lot of crying from both you and kuroo | cursing | mentions of sex | cheating (kind of? youll know when reading) | angst | mentions of drinking/being drunk | nothing is suggestive!! oh ya yall are married btw
WORD COUNT: 3k
A/N: ok ik this is long but this idea came from literally nowhere but i decided to write it thank you @combat-wombatus for helping me you helped put ideas in my brain<333 now i wasnt originally going for a happy ending but im really bad at angst so enjoy the shitty ending :)
“Please, Y/n, you know I didn't mean it,” he pleaded, his large hands desperately grabbing at your form while you push him away, your breaking sobs making his heart shatter. “Please, baby, don’t leave me,” he begs, falling on his knees in front of your trembling body, not being able to tear his eyes off of your heartbroken ones. He needed you to stay. He needed to show you that he isn’t that guy and that he would do anything for you. It was a one time thing. He wasn’t even sober. It wasn’t him. It was the alcohol. He wasn’t thinking straight. Please forgive him, please, please, please.
But you couldn’t. No matter how hard or how much you loved him and wanted to, the pain that ripped at your heart every time you looked at him was too much to bear. So you didn’t. You turn your blurry, glassy eyes away from him as he grabs your hand and forces it into his; your lips quivering and knees shaking. You couldn’t keep the betrayal and agony inside, whining and weeping at him, your knees giving out before your legs slam against the floor, your head near the carpet as you try and keep your affliction at bay.
“Y/n, please,” he whines, tears streaming down his pale cheeks; his admission of his unfaithfulness drained the color from his face. “Please forgive me, I need you, I love you so much.”
“W-” you sniffle, not knowing what to say. You knew you didn’t have to say anything at all, that you didn’t owe him any words, but you just...you just needed to know. “Why,” your voice quivered and cracked, your throat sore, “why did you,” you take a long breath, grabbing your chest to try and stop the heartache, the sudden cramp that formed where it used to be filled with warmth and love, “do this to me? With her?” You look up at him once with wide, searchful eyes as you ponder the reasons and look for the answers in his empty pupils.
“I wasn’t thinking straight, baby, I didn’t know what I was doing, please,” his voice stammers, trying to get you to understand that he really didn’t know what he was doing. “I would never do this to you, I-”
“But you did.” Your tone is no longer sad and confused, but angry and fed up. His head backing up quickly, not expecting the response. “You made a promise, Tetsurou, remember?” You glare at him with menacing eyes as you hold up the very finger he kissed and placed the ring on on your wedding day. The beautiful diamond ring that had his initials carved in the interior and little gorgeous jewels that made the walls sparkle once hit with the hot sun was no more; the dark, gloomy piece of rock and metal meaning nothing but lies and mistrust.
“No, Y/n, please. Don’t do this to me,” he adjures guiltily.
“Don’t do this to you?” Your voice laced with deadly venom, standing and backing up, wiping your mouth with your hand in annoyance, placing it on your hip. “You did this to me! You did this to us! You went out! You got drunk! You fucked someone else! And not even a random girl! No! You just had to fuck your ex!” Your voice cracked again before you inhaled sharply and covered up your struggle.
“Y/n, I didn’t know what I was doing!”
“And that’s an excuse?? What, so now you can go fuck whoever you want and say ‘I didn’t know what I was doing!’” you mimic, “so you can get away with it every time?”
He didn’t answer. He looked at the ground, understanding exactly where you came from.
“Hm? Are you gonna answer me, or sit there like a coward?”
He could tell fully well you were just saying this because you were hurt. You didn’t mean any of it. You loved him. No matter what, you will always love him. Trusting him was out of the box for a while, maybe forever. But he can’t lose you. He knew you were soulmates- he knew you were made for each other. There was a reason you guys made it this far and only had big problems now. He needed to find that reason and use it for himself to win you back. He needed you back.
“I’m sorry,” he apologizes, your dramatic hand gestures coming to a halt at his words, your figure coming to a stand still as you wait for him to finish. “You don't deserve this. You don’t deserve me. Please know that it was a mistake and that I’ll never do it again ever, ever, ever,” he repeats, wanting it to sound as sincere as he means. “Just please give me a chance to make this up to you, please don’t leave me by myself without you,” he sobs out, putting his head in his hands.
You knew you shouldn’t feel bad for him. But god-fucking-dammit are you feeling bad for him. You knew you still loved him, you knew he still loved you- that much was obvious. You couldn’t see him for a while, no. Could you guys work it out? Maybe stitch the wound? Wait until the scar is barely visible anymore? Would that even work?
“Tetsurou,” a single, hot tear dripping down your face as you point to the ground. “I don’t know if I can ever trust you again.”
“I know, I know, just please give me a chance to help fix this!” He cries at your feet, his body bundled in a ball of self hatred and guilt. “I can do it, baby. I can help things go back to normal.”
“I don’t think they ever will be normal again.”
He whines, trying to negotiate with you as much as he can. “Let me fix us. Let me give you my everything again, let me show you that I’m all yours and no one else's, please,” he moans in anticipation for rejection, knowing the chances of you agreeing were next to zero.
The next few hours are silent. Him alone in the bedroom. Crouching on the floor as he ponders your possible answer. You work in the kitchen, making food to satisfy your appetite. He could hear your sniffles from the bedroom and picture you wiping your tears as you carry the pots on the stove. God, he was the biggest piece of shit ever known. What the fuck went through his mind when he was fucking his ex? He only remembers some of it, them waking up in bed together after, only wearing undergarments underneath the sheets and him holding her waist as if she were you. He thought they had ended on good terms, knowing that they were better as friends. He rushed out the door, not being able to stay in the same room without getting sick. He knew what he had to do.
He opens the door to the living room, a slight creak gaining your attention as you stir the sauce in the pan. Your eyes are puffy, your lip still trembling as you try to turn away from him. He only takes about two steps forward before he stops, trying to find the words he wants to say.
“Listen, I know you said you needed time, and I’m not rushing you at all whatsoever. I want to give you all the time in the world to think this over. If you need, I can go to Kou’s house and stay there for a while. He won’t mind. I just want to give you the space you deserve.”
You nod in response, your head still facing away before he whispers an “I love you” before he slips out of the apartment.
The next few days were tortue. Not being able to sleep in the same bed he would sleep in with you, not being able to watch the same tv shows, not being able to even be in his presence at least once a day like you used to melted a hole of despair inside you: eating away at your emptiness, taking away the numbness that you so desperately needed right now. The feeling came back- the one that you tried shutting out three hours ago. It crept up at you, flipping your stomach and weighing your lungs down to the floor, your throat sore and dry. Your eyes wet with a blurry wall as your tears build up once again, missing your cheeks as you crouch down looking at the floor, falling on the tile. The droplets containing your anguish splatter on the ground, your raggedy whimpers echoing throughout the vacant apartment, making it all the more obvious he wasn’t there.
Knock knock knock
Was that the door?
Your wide, unbelieving eyes turned to the wooden door frame; the knocks getting louder and faster. You quickly stand up and try to collect yourself, preparing to have a long talk with Tetsurou. You grab the handle, turning it- the door opening with a tiny creak.
“Hi! Kuroo left his jacket at the party the other day, is he here?”
Oh, that bitch.
“No. He’s not.” You deadpan, not finding her cheery, happy expression amusing.
“Oh no! Uh, well, here, can you give this back to him for me?”
“Stop smiling at me like you aren’t part of the reason he’s gone.” You snark, glaring at her with sharp eyes as she backs up, confused.
“You heard me. Don’t act fucking clueless.”
“Excuse me? Who are you to talk to m-”
“Oh, cut the shit,” you roll your eyes, “I know you slept with Tetsurou, you don’t need put on whatever the fuck this is,” you gesture at her.
“What the hell are you talking about? What are you, fucking crazy?” Your eyes narrow in confusion, your disgusted scowl lessening at her words.
“Right. You probably don’t remember because you were blacked out,” you add sarcastically. “He told me what you guys did. Now you know. So, I would love it if you would just leave.”
“What are you- Me and Kuroo didn’t do shit last night. I drank like two beers and was hanging out with another girl the entire time,” she explains, looking offended. Your face loosens into an expression she couldn’t read. “He blacked out early and passed out on the couch while I was busy talking with the other girl.”
“Huh?” You whisper, your disoriented thoughts not aligning to a proper conclusion.
“I didn’t go to bed until like,” she thought back, “I don’t know, three in the morning? There were people passed out on the floor so I decided to take the guest bedroom with her. I was still awake when Kuroo came into the room, I’m guessing because he thought it was yours, based off of how he kept mumbling your name and shit,” she exhales, “he grabbed onto me once he got in and just clung.” You glower at her, huffing. She sees this, sighing before continuing, “Calm down, remember nothing happened. Remember that girl? She ended falling off the bed because I was scooting away from his clingy ass.” You look at her blankly, trying to fit the pieces together. “She ended up leaving the party completely,” she mumbled in embarrassment before you speak up.
“Then why did he tell me you guys had sex?” You mutter quietly, although assuming she heard since her head backed up while she quickly scoffs.
“I swear to God, that man. Listen.” You look up into her eyes- her genuine eyes. “Me and Kuroo didn’t do a single thing. I didn’t do anything to him and he didn’t do anything to me. I’ll have a conversation with him later because he is an absolute dumbass,” she breathed.
What the fuck?? You were just supposed to believe her?
“How am I supposed to believe that?”
“Me and him ended a long time ago. I don’t like him like that and I haven’t for a while. And seeing he was bragging about you the entire time at the party, he’s over me, too. Besides, I’m not even into guys that much anymore anyways,” she grinned and winked at you. The shock and realization hit you like a truck. She wasn’t even- oh my God. She chuckled at your expression; you ran away from her to the counter to get your phone, quickly unlocking it and tapping on Tetsurou’s contact.
“Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck,” you mumble over and over. To tap the call button, listening to it ring as you bring your phone up to your ear, hearing him pick up the phone almost immediately after.
“Y/n? Are you okay?” He sounded worried. It’s only been about a week, he had hoped that you weren’t going to leave him.
“Get over here, right now, Tetsurou.” Your voice made it seem like it was urgent, so he quickly picked up his jacket from the couch, and you could hear the jingling of his keys as he grabbed them and opened the door, almost slamming it shut once he left.
“Y/n?” He asked at the open front door, wondering why it wasn’t closed. “Y/n, you have to be careful and close the door, we have them for a reason, you know,” he said as he walked in. Even after being at the line of a break-up, he still cares for your well-being. He didn’t even do anything wrong and he was still caring for you as a loved one should. He always did everything to make you feel comfortable and safe, so once he knew that he had slept with his ex he was completely devastated to his core. He didn’t want to do this to you, but you had the right to know.
“Tetsu.” You called. Already back to nicknames? This is good, right?
“Yes? Y/n?” He was scared, to say the least, feeling awkward and not knowing what to do. He walked scarcely towards your figure sitting on the couch, not caring to drop his keys and jacket on the counter. He had a feeling this might go wrong.
“We need to talk.” Shit. This is exactly what he didn’t want to hear. Hearing those words he couldn’t help but think that you were going to make him pack his stuff and go. “So, I talked with your ex.” You speak slowly, not wanting your words to come out wrong. You don’t want him to take any of this in a bad way at all. Yet his eyes widen drastically, his heartbeat racing and his nerves pricking him. “You are just one big dummy, aren’t you?”
What? What are you talking about?
“You didn’t sleep with her. She told me everything that happened that night. She’s not even into guys anymore. Tetsu-”
This couldn’t be happening. Not only did he accuse himself of cheating, he accused himself of cheating with his ex, and that he cheated with his ex at a party, while you two are married. And then it turns out it wasn’t true? What the hell was wrong with him? He jeopardized your entire relationship because he was too drunk to know what was going on.
“Wait, what?” He yells, angrily sitting down on the couch, “so you’re telling me-” you nodded and hummed an ‘mhm’ in response. His hands find their way to his hair, pulling at the roots and scratching his scalp, his low grunts of pain and fury seeping out of his throat as he frustratingly comprehends what he just did.
You rush over to him, grabbing his wrists and pushing them down to his lap as fast as you can, making his eyes find their way to your blown out pupils. You can see the hot tears prickle down his cheek as he frowns at you, completely and utterly defeated.
“Tetsu, I don’t want you to hurt yourself, it’s okay,” you reassure, giving him a happy smile. He wanted to smile back, but he couldn’t control the broken sob that escaped him. “Hey, hey,” you try to grab his attention as he pulls his head down, crying. “It’s okay, baby, it’ll be okay.” You wrap your arms around his head, protecting him as you softly coo and ‘shh’ him quietly in his ear. ‘I’m sorry’ kept coming out of his mouth as he clinged to you, not being able to help his want to be closer to you. The realization that he just almost broke your heart completely and he had worried about divorce for this shit made him want to just rip his scalp out. He was so stupid. So, so so, stupid. “Tetsu, look at me, please. Look at me,” you whisper, bringing your hand to his chin, dragging it up so you could catch sight of his hazel irises. His eyes red and puffy, his cheeks wet and his eyes droopy, you couldn’t do anything but frown at the sight. He hated himself right now, not wanting to face the embarrassment and the humiliation of the situation.
“You don’t deserve me, I’m so sorry,” he whimpered in your arms, gripping them tighter and tighter for comfort- you knowing that he needed it right now. You had already pulled him into your chest, feeling his wet tears soak your shirt, your hands rubbing his back and your fingers gently grazing his throbbing scalp.
“It’s okay, I forgive you, Tetsu, you did the right thing by telling me you did it instead of hiding it from me, and then it turns out you didn’t do it at all.” Your cheeks start to feel hot, and you don’t even realize your sniffles until you could feel a dam break at your water line. You couldn’t stop them, the tears of relief. You didn’t want to stop them. You were glad that they were her, glad that they were for him, glad they were because you knew the truth, glad because you knew you two would be okay.
You looked back at your ring, watching it bloom like a flower in the spring, the meaning coming back to your marriage. It wasn’t just metal and rock anymore, it was a gorgeous promise.
“I love you, Tetsurou. Don’t forget that. You’re staying with me, alright?” you whisper into his hairline.
“Thank you,” he cries.
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