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#my iPad says that this took me 24 hours...
axel-skz · 8 months
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Tears
A/N: loads going on but this kept swirling in my mind so here we are. The song roulette here gives us GET LIT! Hope yall are doing well and let’s hope it takes me less time for the next story lmao
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You had been crying and you wanted to find a private spot. You remembered a place that you had been to with Chan and you went back there at night. It was a regular spot for you now.
It was by a river.
You were having your moment. The vibes were there.
Then everything was ruined and terror struck you when you saw car lights in the parking lot. You heard the engine turn off and you watched to see who it was.
There appeared a very concerned Bang Chan. You face palmed as he finally located you and made his way over.
‘CHANNIE! YOU’RE RUINING MY DRAMATIC MOMENT!’
‘I’ve been having a dramatic moment of my own looking for you,’ he sighed as he sat next to you.
‘How’d you know I’d be here?’
‘I’d say it was because I’m smart and figured it out but I did no such thing. We share locations on find my.’
You sighed, ‘wow, I did this to myself.’
‘Ok, enough sighing. This is dangerous, Y/N. If you wanted to come out here, you could’ve just told me. I would’ve brought you out here but kept a little space and let you have your moment. That way I know you would be safe.’
‘Forgive me if I don’t want to let you know every time I’m having a breakdown,’ you squinted at him.
‘Why shouldn’t you? I’m your best friend?’ He seemed genuinely flabbergasted.
‘You don’t have to know every single thing about me!’
‘What?! Where is this even coming from?!’
‘WHAT IF YOU’RE THE REASON I’M HAVING THE BREAKDOWN?! IT WON’T HELP TO SEE YOU! WILL IT?!’
He was taken aback. He sat staring at you in silence for a minute. Like he was looking for what he could say, ‘I…’
‘I’m sorry… for yelling…’ you looked away, ‘I thought id be okay… that I’d be alright with just being friends but…’
He sighed, ‘I don’t know what to say. I mean, if I were to be with someone, I’d like for it to be you. But the problems still stand. I’m always busy and if everything went south then we could lose our friendship.’
You huffed, ‘yeah I know but if anyone can figure it out, it’s us.’
‘Is it really worth the risk?’
You looked at him with a straight face, ‘I don’t know but if I see another person who’s all over you, I might just become a murderer. I know us being together wont change much since we can’t tell people but we’ll know…’
‘You know what… I get it. I don’t like to admit how much it annoys me when you’re back stage and whoever is walking past keeps talking to you. The way they smile and check you out,’ he huffed.
You looked off, ‘so what now?’
‘I guess there isn’t much choice,’ he looked at you with a slight smile.
‘Mhm? And what does that mean?’
‘Well, I don’t think you’ll have to come back here because of me again for a while.’
With all the warm fuzzy feelings and sweet looks, you guys got together.
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A/N: please like and comment and reblog. Now, um, I have a confession.
Chan: mhm?
No no no! You turn around and plug your ears!
Chan: WHY?!
BECAUSE IT’S EMBARRASSING AND YOU NEED TO GO!
Chan: wow. Ok. Thought we were closer then that…
Yeah yeah, get your old ass far away right now please. Love you!
*he marches inside*
Ok, so, I wasn’t on insta for ages cus I took it off my homepage on my ipad and forgot it existed. But like, not the point. I still managed to find out my boys made their own instagram pages before the 24 hour mark. And do you know what I did when I found out?
I CRIED! I followed them all and then I CRIED! There’s something wrong with me.
Chan from inside: awh, that’s so cute!
YOU SHOULD NOT BE LISTENING! I WILL GET SEUNGMIN ON YOU!
Chan: no please don’t! I only have today to relax!
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blueseasfanfics · 2 years
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Fight
Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader
Word Count: 1.9k
Description: You're new to the city, on the run from your past. It catches up to you, and your new irritable roommate is there to save the day.
Fluffy/angsty?
A/N: So looking around for inspiration I managed to get into my first gen iPad which is where I saved all of my first fanfics. Nostalgia is a hell of a drug because I rewrote a few. This one is definitely something. Whether that's good or bad, I don't know. Fanfic is under the line!
TW: Domestic abuse.
If you or someone you know is in danger, please don't hesitate to call a hotline in your area. Here is one for the U.S.A.:
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Your new roommate was insufferable. All he did was drink, glare, and read.
I mean, same for you, but you at least tried being friendly at first. When you moved in, you extended a hand and a warm smile. He slammed the door of his room in your face.
To be fair, his rudeness never came out in outbursts. It was just simmering hatred, shown in his eyes when he looked at you, the silence that was between the both of you whenever you were in the same room.
Bucky, was what your landlord had said. Or James. James seems to piss him off when you say it though, so you say it more.
He had been here alone for a while, having scared off past tenants. But not you. The cheapest room around was this one. You weren’t going to let some drama queen scare you off from a deal.
You couldn’t let him. Otherwise, you have nowhere to go. In fact, it feels like the only person in this city who knows your real name is Bucky. Even your coworkers call you by a fake name you gave for protection. But even though you had told your landlord to only use that one, the sweet old woman had forgotten and just used what was on the contract to Bucky. It was corrected quickly, but Bucky’s eyebrow had raised as he was reading, so you’re sure he noticed.
As you were walking home, you sighed. Even after moving here and changing your entire identity to feel safe, you still didn’t. Not at all. Bucky didn’t scare you, but your past did, and your past had sworn to come back. You still have the scars to prove it.
Nighttime in New York City is beautiful, but not on this street. This street was peaceful, empty. Vulnerable. You had asked your manager to not give you closing shifts but “it was an emergency” and “it’s just this once”. So you took it. You’re too nice for your own good, you think to yourself as you hear footsteps behind you.
Shit. Just walk, it’s just a guy taking his dog for a walk. It’s a small, cute dog. A nice dog. A westie. You love westies.
You don’t hear a dog, though.
Moving your hand to your pocket, you carefully put your keys between your fingers and ball them up into a fist. The Wolverine move. Except his claws are made from unbreakable metal grown from his body and your claws were shitty and bendable steel.
“Hey.” A gruff voice says behind you, and you walk faster. You know the voice.
“Jesus christ, stop running.” He runs ahead of you and stops you in your tracks, taking you by the shoulder.
“Trevor, let go of me.” You shrug his hand off of you, but he just puts it back on again and grips harder. You don’t look at his face, though you just know he’s smiling that same predatory smile he always has.
“Do you know how long I’ve been looking for you?”
“Not long enough.”
“Now that’s just mean. First you run off in the middle of the night with my stuff-”
“It was my stuff.”
“Then you lead me on some wild goose chase to find out you’re living in New York, which is just stupid-”
“I like New York.”
“It’s stupid and smells like piss. I was worried sick babe, you can’t just run off like that.” His hand slides down your arm to your wrist. You yank it back and step away from him.
“Leave me alone, Trevor. We’re done.” You look around him to see your building is still a few yards away. Crap.
“No, we’re not. I say when we’re done, and we’re not. Come home with me, now. I have your bus ticket.”
“No.” You try to side-step him, but he shoves your side as you pass him, knocking you into a rough brick wall.
“Leave me alone, please.” You don’t want to sound small but you do. He always makes you feel small. 
“Stop throwing this childish tantrum. You’re coming home with me, and you’re going to stop these silly brief fantasies of New York and that dumb career.”
“It’s not dumb.”
“Who the fuck dreams of being a childrens book author? Who the hell even reads those? No one. It’s a dumb job with no money, and you’re going to come home and stop talking about it, and we’re going to be happy like we always are.”
“Children.” Is all you can think to say. He’s towering over you, and all you can see is his face now. He has a scraggly beard and dark grey eyes that seem like storms. You have nightmares about those eyes.
“What?” He barks out, and you flinch.
“Children read children’s books.”
“You think you’re so funny, huh?” Before you can reply he punches you, hitting your cheekbone and making you fall to the ground. He kneels down to you as tears escape your eyes and you look at the sidewalk. He hisses in your ear. 
“Don’t you dare-”He can only get that far before you lash out with your keys, connecting with his cheek and sliding until his mouth. He howls in pain and you see blood, and he steps away for a second. Using that time to scramble to your feet and run to your building, you run in the front entrance with its broken lock and pound on your apartment door.
“Bucky, please dear god let me in, please, I’m sorry-” You’re half-sobbing and half-yelling, and you almost fall when he opens it. You run in and slam the door behind you.
“What the fuck is the-” You cut him off, running to the bathroom, and it’s only a few minutes before you hear more pounding.
“Let me the fuck in!” Trevor roars, and you get in the tub and bring your knees to your chest and try to focus on breathing.
The pounding is still happening with him trying to open it, shaking the whole door-frame. A shadow falls across from you.
“Who’s that.” You look up. It’s Bucky. He seems angry, but his eyes widen once he sees your face. Crap. It hurts. It must look horrible. You look back down.
“Do you know him?”
You can only nod.
“I’m guessing you don’t want me to let him in.”
“I’d prefer if you don’t.” Your voice comes out like a whisper. Bucky leaves, closing the bathroom door behind him.
You hear the front creak open.
“Who the fuck-” A smash, a thud, and a groan.
“If you come back here again, I am the last thing you will ever see. Is that clear?” Bucky doesn’t wait for a response, and just slams the door and locks it.
You still can’t move.
“He’s leaving.” Bucky says outside the bathroom.
“Thanks.” It takes a minute for you to say it, but you get it out. Silence, you think he’s walked away, when,
“Can I come in?”
Can he? This is pretty embarrassing, to be honest. Your mouth tastes like blood, your face is just a mix of pain, your back hurts from when he shoved you the wall. Plus, you’ve been sobbing for the last few minutes.
“Why?”
“I can fix you up.”
“I can do that.”
“Ok.” You hear him walking away, but you feel the need to sob again.
“No, wait,” you call out, and the footsteps stop. “You can come in. Please.”
The door opens and Bucky peers in. His metal hand is smeared with blood and you feel your eyes widen.
“Did you kill him?”
Bucky raises an eyebrow.
“Did you… want me to?”
“Not right now?”
“Well, good. I’ll do that.”
“Yeah? You a murderer now?”
“When it comes to that jerk, yeah.”
“Come closer to me.”
“I can’t move.”
“Well… I guess I’m coming in.”
Bucky opens the cabinet under the sink and moves your stuff aside, reaching for a cloth bag in the back. He awkwardly clambers in the tub and sits across from you, shaking out the bag between you. Disinfectant, bandages, pain medication, even needles and thread.
“Are you a nurse?” 
“What? No. Do I look like a nurse?”
“No, but there’s not a lot of reason to have surgical-grade thread otherwise.”
“There is in my line of work.”
“What is your line of work?”
His look tells you that you probably don’t want to know.
“In any case, I don’t think you need stitches. Your cuts are small. Can I…” He reaches towards you with his hand, and after a moment, you nod. He takes your chin between his fingers and brings your face closer to his as he inspects you.
“Fuck.” He mumbles under his breath.
“Shoulda seen the other guy.” A failed attempt at a joke, because Bucky doesn’t laugh.
“You did slash him pretty well. With what, you have a knife?”
You bring your fist out of your pocket, keys still clasped between your fingers. The apartment key is bent.
“You did that with those? My god, it looked like a bear hit him.”
“You hit him with that?” You pointed to his metal hand. “It probably looked like a train hit him.”
That one got a chuckle out of him. It was a gruff laugh that came from the bottom of his chest, and it made you feel a bit better.
“This’ll hurt.” He says, starting to dab some disinfectant on your cut. It stings, but you’re too worried to really feel anything. Sure, Trevor lost here, but he already knows where you live. What if he finds you at work? Bucky isn’t there then. Besides, you can’t depend on him to save you anyway. You’re going to have to leave again. You didn’t want to leave again.
“You alright?” You must’ve been crying because Bucky suddenly wiped a tear from your cheek, and is cradling your face in one hand.
The look of absolute worry in his eyes makes the floodgates open again, and you fall forward into his chest, burying your face into his shirt. He’s stiff, but soon enough you feel his arms wrap around you and he holds you closer.
“It’ll be alright. He’s not here.” He whispers in your ear and then stays in silence, slowly rocking you for what feels like an eternity until you finally start to calm down.
You pull away from him and he lets you, holding your face and looking you in the eye.
“Hey, it’ll be alright. Bastards not coming back.”
“He’s not dead.”
“You’re more bloodthirsty than I thought you were.” He smiles a little, just the corner of his mouth lifting up really, and you smile a little back.
“I’m guessing he’s why you’re under a fake name and I.D.?”
You nod.
“How long you been running?”
“Only a month.”
“A month without him finding you? That’s really good.”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah. But I don’t think he’ll be coming back any time soon.”
“Bucky?”
“Yeah?”
“What are you doing?”
“What do you mean?”
“Why are you talking to me?”
“Be a bit rude to just leave you here and fuck off, wouldn’t it?”
“Didn’t think you cared about politeness.”
“Still would be a bit more rude than I’m gonna allow myself to get.”
“Thanks, then.”
“No problem.”
You both stay in silence as he cleans you up. You feel like he takes longer than he needs to, but you appreciate it anyway.
“You have work tomorrow?” He asks and you shake your head. “Good.”
“I’ll teach you how to fight.”
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galahgrannies · 2 years
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Day 3+: I forgot to say yesterday about the huge change of scenery and soils, especially after we came across the SA border. Again, too many thousands of acres of nut trees and oranges and grapes, but some people had crop of some sort under the grapes and that was good to see. But at some stage out of Renmark there were signs on the road that told us to turn our headlights on in a dust storm and all along the fences there was red soil piled up…. awful!!!
Anyway, on to nicer things. After we left the pretty town of Burra, with so many old buildings built if the stone you see so much of in SA, we came up over a rise and GASPED! at the beautiful sight of part of the Clare Valley in front/below us. Lush and green and soft.
Day 4: Up at 6.30 this morning so we wouldn’t be late for the ferry to Lucky Bay. So, after brekky, we thought we’d get there early and suss it out before going for a nice coffee before the trip, but there were already people there lining up and after we were told there’s a good sort-of cafe on board we decided to buy our ticket and boarding pass and line up. While I was parking the van, the ferry office wanted to know the name of Wendy’s ‘partner’ (for the paperwork), so I guess we look like a pair of old ‘gays’!
We drove the van in and went upstairs and ordered a (very delicious) cappuccino and settled in for 2 1/2 hours of relaxation. I loved the ferry ride, but Wendy, poor girl, felt sick but luckily, clutching a sick bag, she fell asleep and the sea became very calm and all was well. I chatted up a rather nice retired doctor, but sadly I think he’s married. There were a few people on board who were heading to Port Lincoln for a Cancer Council fund raiser mystery car rally. They don’t know where they’re going until they open up an envelope each day. I’d LOVE that! The charming doctor was accompanying his son in law and grandson as a support person. Goodbye Doc!!!
Off the ferry we drove in a straight line to Tumby Bay and had some soup iPad The Ritz Cafe on the water. Tumby Bay is a very little fishing village and the cafe had been there for over a century … although the soup was fresh, thank goodness!!🤣
Then a quick trip in another straight line with three bends, to our present digs at Port Lincoln. We have a room with a view and quickly made friends with a mother and daughter; the daughter lives in Port Lincoln and the mother in Streaky Bay so we bled them dry of information about where to have dinner here and what to do in Streaky Bay (and Coffin Bay on the way) which is where we are heading tomorrow.
Port Lincoln is, obviously a fishing town - I hope my photo works - and on a walk around the port we saw so many huge fishing boats which we later learned they are not working again until the prawn season in the summer. On our walk around the dock, we attacked a young fellow (24) called Liam, working on a fishing trawler and he was a MINE of information! He is part of a crew that has brought their huge fishing trawler here from Eden in NSW (they catch about 120 tons of mackerel a night), as Port Lincoln has the only slips large enough for his boat to receive maintenance. It took about four days to get the boat here. When we hijacked him, he was on a smallish fishing boat helping the crew (part of a previous crew of his) get ready to head out to fish for flathead. They’ll stay out for 10 to 12 nights!!!
Dinner tonight was at the Marina Hotel which was a really good spot.
Highlights of today: The ferry trip, definitely for me; Tumby Bay; Wendy went for a long walk around the shoreline; meeting Liam!!; and the Marina Hotel. In fact, the whole day has been slower and enjoyable.
Camping hints: Take 2 bath mats - one for the door of your tent or van and the other to take to the communal bathroom. SO SO much easier to step out of the shower onto dry land!!!
And so to sleep….
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theretirementstory · 3 months
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New Years Eve has arrived, it’s normally a time for looking back over the year and remembering the high points and not so high points. I think I will give this a miss this year, I don’t want to remember being taken to hospital in an ambulance, the three small glasses of water I was allowed in a 24 hour period, or eating only natural yoghurt and puréed fruit for breakfast,lunch and dinner for 12 days 😳. So let’s just have a round up of the last week.
Christmas Day, I must have been good as I had a lot of presents and my stocking had been filled. I got two French short story books, lots of chocolates, jams, teas a calendar and money. I had already bought myself the ruby pendant I had seen in town. I prepared my lunch which took over three hours to eat but it was worth taking my time as I ate rather a lot but never felt too full. The doctor had said I could have a drink so I had a small glass of champagne.
I had Christmas messages from Indonesia, America, Pauline in Lille and Jony in Paris as well as a number from friends and family in the UK. it was a wonderful day and I thoroughly enjoyed myself.
My grandchildren had their Christmas Day with Daddy and Grandad on Boxing Day. My granddaughter received an iPad and she was happy to phone me from it. My grandson received a wooden workbench so he can start creating things (we all have to start sometime 😂).
“The Photographer” received money and later in the week he bought himself additional items for his camera. Then can you believe his car started to play up and yesterday on his way home from work he had to stop the car immediately and ring the RAC! I think it’s called “Sod’s law”! These things are sent to try us and that’s exactly what they do.
“The Trainee Solicitor” also had a trying time. He and “The Ex-Graduate” had been to her parents for Xmas lunch. As they were leaving at night, he forgot there was a small step down, he missed it and went over on his ankle. He hurt it quite a bit and it was swollen and extremely bruised. Just as well he didn’t have to go to work!
Unfortunately “The Ex-Graduate” was back at work on Wednesday and has been there everyday since. Hopefully, not for much longer will she have a job where she has to stand around for hours.
The cleaner came on Thursday and brought me a gift of chocolates and bonbons. Then my neighbours came in with a big box of chocolates for me and a handwritten card wishing me all the best for 2024.
I had a walk around the garden, checking out anything that is starting to grow. I found new growth on the hellebores, the snowdrops starting to peek through and also tulips coming through in the front garden. I checked the planter I had put together in 2022 and saw that the tête à tête are starting to grow. I pulled the tubs with the cyclamen in out from under the laurel bush to give them some more daylight. One looks as if it may not recover but the other didn’t look too bad. However, we are due some heavy rain so they may need to be protected from that.
I am thrilled as my hair is growing back pretty quickly. I didn’t lose all of the hair on my eyebrows but I have lost my eyelashes. I am still wearing my hat but that is because I don’t want my head getting too cold.
On Thursday Pauline messaged to say she had had an interview for an internship in Spain. It is with a Real Estate Agency and she had to do a video for either selling or letting a property. She sent me the videos (taken in her Grandma’s house) and then I corrected a couple of things in English, center for centre, moldings for mouldings. She sent it off and a short time later she got an email to say the job was hers. She starts on the 8 January. Now she is looking for accommodation. Pauline is coming to see me this morning so I will be brought up to date.
Music has always been a big part of my life, it can bring memories flooding back and I often can’t sing along as I am choked with tears at lots of the memories. I have said previously it’s not just the lyrics it’s the music too which has the effect on me. So first today is a song from 1991, it’s The Farm and “All Together Now”. The second song is also from 1991, it is “Unfinished Sympathy” by Massive Attack.
The village down the road has a competition each year for the best dressed tree. The trees are put outside your home and there are three prizes. I loved this “Tour de France” inspired tree. It must have been difficult to judge as three trees were joint first.
At this point I would like to wish you all a happy and healthy 2024. Keep safe until we catch up again.
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glanelamb · 2 years
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So I am back in blogging! Lol!
I am just very happy that I get to spend more time with myself, with my husband, with my family - self love.
Everyone knows that I hustle 24/7. I work with different time zones and different clients. I have a full time job and many part time jobs. I am gaining a lot of money, and I get to enjoy my money, and massive savings but I get to the point where I realized that I am building more and more savings accounts but lesser self-love and time for my family. The maximum amount of sleep I get every day is 3 hours. I have naps in between but it's totally different when you sleep at night, with your husband, praying and cuddling before I go to sleep.
I have people working with me but it is not enough. I thought before it was fine to work 24/7 because I don't have a huge responsibility like me having a baby but it is totally different. I lost track of my health, mentally and physically. I don't do the things I normally do before, like journaling, meditating, blogging, etc. I always stay in front of my laptop or iPad finishing things. And what is worse about that, I'll sleep late at night thinking that I still have pending tasks to do. I have planners with me - right now I stick with desk planners, I have people working with me, but me being the POC, it's really hard. I never had time to pamper,  I never had time to dress up anymore, to go shopping, play a lot of games, to flop down on the couch/bed after work. I just shower and go straight to sleep.
This was when I knew that something had to change - literally change. Continuing at this pace was not sustainable and could lead to future health complications and regrets. So I decided to slow down and even going for a full stop. So I could spend more time with loved ones and the things that I love. Now I came to the point where I don’t know if I want to continue anymore. It took me a lot of reassessments, the loving clients I am about to give up, opportunities vs me. I chose me. I stayed with a full time job, some part times but doesn’t require a lot of work. The income I am gaining is not the same as before, I lost 25% of it but I don’t care. I focused more on my full time job, I tried looking for part time jobs which doesn’t require a lot of time, pressure, deadlines and such. The one where I work with a certain schedule and the one where I go to sleep fresh and not thinking of work. I carefully thought of everything, from giving up some of my clients, looking for work opportunities with lesser demands, the ones where I can have a work life balance. I lost a lot of money but I started loving my self more and more. My mantra before is that I need hustle and continue providing for myself, my husband and my family. But too much is not good. My health started to decline, specifically my mental health. I started gaining weight and not being healthy anymore. The only time I get to talk with my husband is during night, before we go to sleep even though we are both working from home. Even when I am supposed to be resting, my mind was constantly working and couldn’t stop thinking about what I need to do and finish the next day. I literally had no time for myself, my skin is very dry so my eyes, I was also constantly exhausted - and no amount of rest and nap seemed to do the trick. 
And now congratulations self, it’s okay to aim for a financially stable future but I can say that I saved a lot - massive savings and I think that’s enough. I just need to discipline myself when it comes to spending. And I am more than happy now. I have a stable job, some part times, more time for myself, more time with my husband, I can now stick to my old schedule and literally rest after work. At 4pm, I am all done and ready to do whatever I want.
Self care isn’t just about indulging in massages, rewarding yourself after a long day of work (which is mandatory nowadays because the adage “dasurvvvv” is now our forever mantra) and lavishly spending on luxury items. It’s about making sure that you’re paying attention to your mental and daily needs. You can write on your planners and plan the day ahead, write on your journals and paste your install photos for memories, play online games with someone, spending time connecting with friends and loved ones, meditate, etc. It’s all about taking moments to rejuvenate, focus more on your health and re-center. And now I can say that I dasurv a good rest after work, a peaceful sleep and a joyful routine. And guess what? I get to talk different things with my husband instead of showing him a tracker of all the incomes and expenses. He’s more than happy ya’ll!
To my co workers, I hope that you will take care of my clients and enjoy the opportunities I gave to you all. Thank you for being there with me 24/7 and giving you the job full time is something I did not regret.
Andddddd I have more time to create a lot of designs for my planner business! I’m gaining money and at the same time I do what I really love.
Here’s to self-love and spending more time with your family!
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kr-yoongi · 3 years
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Ethan & Spence!!
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unmistakablyunknown · 3 years
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Baby Mine (Adam Ruzek x Fire!Reader)
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(gif credit - @wandarogers​)
Description: The week starts like any other for the two of you, but some surprising news changes things - maybe even for the better. Unfortunately, before you could tell your boyfriend - Adam - the universe has a cruel way of stepping on your good news.
Warning(s): strong language, canon-typical drama/violence, pregnancy symptoms, loss of consciousness, ectopic pregnancy, near-death experience, hospitals/emergency medical procedures, descriptions of grief, PTSD if I missed anything let me know!
A/N: request from another lovely anon “Can I please request an Adam Ruzek x reader where reader is a squad member at 51. And she finds out she’s pregnant but hasn’t told Adam yet, and she collapses after a call and gets rushed to med, and they find out she’s had an ectopic pregnancy and almost bleeds out in surgery. Lots of angst please ❤️” I did tweak it ever so slightly but this was Heartbreaking to write so I hope you enjoy it!!
                                                  -/-/-
Your least favourite part of the day was waking up in the morning in Adam’s apartment. Because no matter how much you wanted to lie in with him until he had to get up, your shift always started earlier and finished later. Despite that fact, he always tried to wake up and see you out the door. This morning was no different.
“Babe,” your mouth was dry and your voice was slightly raspy as you nudged Adam awake. From behind you, with his arms around your waist, he grumbled and pulled you closer to him.
“Adam?”
“He’s not here right now,” he mumbled into your hair and stifled a yawn. You chuckled and shifted around to face him.
“Then who am I looking at right now, hm?” You trailed your fingers over his facial hair and a sleepy smile stretched across his face.
“Someone who’s not letting you go anywhere without a fight,” Adam replied as he finally opened his eyes and kissed you on the forehead.
“They sound like the same person to me,” you teased and he shrugged, still sleep-addled.
“Lucky you, huh?”
“Absolutely.” Before you could utter another teasing syllable, Adam was quick to pounce on top of you and bury his face into the crook of your neck. You let out a surprised yelp and broke into a fit of laughter as he nipped at your neck and his beard tickled the exposed skin.
“Adam! Adam - I’m going to be late!” you tried to reason with him but you could stop laughing and that only encouraged him.
“Be late… I’m sure Severide understands -”
“Absolutely not!” You eventually managed to separate yourself from him and began to get dressed. You made it to the kitchen for a quick coffee and some breakfast when Adam emerged from the warmth of the bedroom.
“Do you really have to go?” he groaned into the crook of your neck as he encircled you against the kitchen counter. With the hand that wasn’t holding your coffee, you threaded your fingers into his unruly hair.
“Yeah. Got fires to fight, people to rescue,” you stated quietly before you finished the last mouthful in your cup and pressed a tender kiss to his cheek. It was rare that your time off overlapped in a week since he worked 12-hour shifts and you did 24’s. But there were a few glorious times a month when your days off coincided and you made the most of every minute.
“Fine,” he grumbled with a heavy sigh, “I’ll stop by Fifty-One when I can, hm?”
“Sounds like a plan,” you agreed and ducked under his arms to get to the bathroom.
                                                       -/-/-
Since you’d left Adam’s apartment and made your way into the Firehouse, the fatigue you’d tried to fight off for the last 48 hours came creeping back barely an hour into your shift. Another cup of coffee seemed tempting after you’d convinced yourself it was probably just the effects of such a demanding job. But as you made your way to the common room, the sounds and smells of something cooking made your stomach roll.
“Hey, Y/L/N -” Sylvie greeted cheerily from the doorway, but you didn’t get the chance to answer as you made a beeline to the bathroom. Unceremoniously, you just about managed to lock the cubicle door and drop your bag before bracing yourself against the porcelain. With a few deep breaths, nausea subsided. You rocked back onto your heels and cleared your throat. The main door opened and hurried footsteps shuffled inside.
“Y/N?” Sylvie. Damn. There was no way you could lie to her. In fact, since you’d started spending more time with her, the more your ability to lie was compromised. You couldn’t look at those big blue doe-eyes and not feel unparalleled guilt for even thinking of lying to her.
“Yeah?”
“Are you alright in there?” You breathed out a sigh and forced yourself to your feet.
“I’m okay, just feeling a bit iffy. I’ll be fine,” you assured her and turned the cold tap on to run your hands under. A couple of splashes against your hot cheeks and you felt marginally better.
“You spent the night at Adam’s?”
“Yeah. I’m surprised I made it to the Firehouse on time,” you joked and she found it funny too. Before anything more could be said, the alarm went off overhead.
“Rescue Squad Three, Truck Eighty-One, Ambulance Sixty-One. Car accident -” With a heavy sigh, you gave Sylvie a pointed look before the two of you jogged down to the apparatus floor. Capp gave you a hand into the rig and all sirens wailing, everyone rolled out to the scene.
Following Severide’s orders, you set about stabilising the car nearest the front of the crash. A three-car pile-up was not what you wanted first thing in the morning but you didn’t complain. Not even when your stomach cramped and everything became ten times heavier than it should’ve been.
Whilst lugging K-12’s and Saws-All’s to and from the rig, you chalked it up to pre-menstrual symptoms and powered through it. There was a vague recollection in the back of your mind that you were due on at some point in the next week, so you made a note to find some painkillers when you got back to the Firehouse.
“Alright, on three!” You stepped in to help lift one of the casualties onto a stretcher and hand them over to the ambulance. When Sylvie finished loading the gurney into the back, she noticed your attempt to hide another wave of nausea.
“Y/N?” You steadied yourself against the side of the ambulance and opened your mouth to reply. Instead, a loud retch came out and what little you’d consumed for breakfast came back up and you just about missed your boots.
“Woah - hey, back of the ambo. You’re coming with us.” There was no room for an argument as she guided you to the back door and sat you alongside Borrelli who tended to the victim. The whole ride over to Med, you kept your jacket over your shoulders and your head between your knees.
“Chin up, Y/L/N, we’re almost there,” Jimmy informed you as he finished intubating the victim and they were stable.
“I’ll keep my chin where it is thanks. Any sudden movements and I’ll throw up on you,” you remarked quietly as you got closer to the hospital.
When the ambulance rolled up to the Emergency Room doors, Jimmy went ahead with the gurney and Sylvie stayed with you. She walked you up to the nurse’s station and relayed the information you were too nauseous to supply them with.
“Alright, let’s have a talk,” Will took over from Sylvie and led you to the nearest room. He drew the curtain across the door and you perched on the edge of the bed.
“Can you tell me when all of this started?”
“Uh… Maybe last Friday?” you answered whilst he made notes on the iPad in his hands.
“And can you describe your symptoms?” You took a moment to think about them all before you replied.
“Well, I’ve been tired, crampy… This morning I got really nauseous just smelling the food cooking in the common room and I threw up at the scene earlier. I figured it was just my cycle kicking in early… But I don’t know what else it could be.” Will made a noise of agreement and looked up from the screen.
“Okay, I’ll order a blood panel, urine samples and I’ll hand you over to Nat if you’d be more comfortable?”
“Thanks, Will.” He left with a nod and a smile before he headed out of the room. You were left alone for a few minutes. You took the opportunity to text Severide and let him know where you were at and he sent you well-wishes in return.
“I have to say, Y/N, I was surprised to hear you were in with us this morning,” Natalie greeted you with a cheery smile as she sanitised her hands and put on a pair of gloves.
“Ha. It’s good to see you too, Nat.” The minutes passed with light conversation amongst the various tests and checks Natalie did.
“- Alright, so this is the last test on the list that Will ordered and then you should be good to go.”
“Great. Thank you, Nat.”
“Of course. Just make sure you take things easy until we get the results back, yeah?” With a tight-lipped smile, you nodded and drew an X over your chest.
“I’ll try.”
                                                      -/-/-
It was close to lunchtime when your phone rang and you excused yourself from the Squad table to answer it.
“Hello?”
“Y/N? It’s Natalie,” the familiar voice greeted you and there was a momentary relief before you remembered that it wasn’t a social call.
“Hi, Nat. So, what’s going on?”
“Well, I’ve got your lab results in front of me - are you happy to discuss them over the phone or would you rather come over so we can talk face to face?”
“Here’s fine,” you assured her and leant against the wall. Natalie began to explain the results of the tests they’d run and made it easy enough to follow along.
“- it’s safe to say, based on this combination of results. You’re pregnant. Now, moving forward I can get you set up with your first follow-up appointment and -” Nat stopped when she heard the gasp that escaped your mouth.
“Y/N? Is everything okay?”
“Uh… I - Yeah, I guess. Are you sure?”
“Absolutely. I understand it might be a lot to take in right now, but I’d be more than happy to set up a consultation for you and Adam -”
“Thanks, Natalie. I just… I need a while to process and I’d appreciate it if Adam didn’t catch wind of this, for now.”
“That’s understandable, call me back when you’re available and we can discuss it further.”
“I will. Talk to you later.” You hung up and in an effort to avoid questions from Severide and the other guys on Rescue Squad, headed inside to the main house.
You headed straight for the bathrooms and locked yourself into a cubicle. There was no label for how you felt. Excited? Sure, you and Adam had talked about having kids but that was a ways in the future. Terrified? Absolutely. Your job was hardly low-impact and you loved what you did more than anything.
“Y/L/N? You’ve got a visitor!”
“Alright! Just a second!” You splashed some water on your face and headed out. It was when you rounded the corner to the apparatus floor that you remembered Adam had mentioned stopping by.
“Hey! I was gonna call but I wasn’t sure if you were on a call or not -” Breath caught in your throat when you saw Adam on the apparatus floor.
“Oh, don’t sweat it…” There was a brief sliver of panic. You gestured for him to follow you to the open bay doors. An autumnal breeze blew by and you pulled your fleece jacket tighter around your torso.
“Is everything alright?”
“Yeah! Everything’s fine. Totally cool,” you assured him with a nod. There was a split-second before you stepped closer to Adam and pulled him in by the front of his jacket. The kiss was slow and sweet. His beard tickled your chin slightly as he seemed to melt into your touch.
“Rescue Squad Three, Ambulance Sixty-One, Truck Eighty-One. Persons in distress -” For what felt like the millionth time that shift, the alarm went off. With a disappointed sigh, you and Adam separated and you gave him an apologetic look.
“I’ll talk to you later,” he let you go with a lingering touch and watched as you joined the rest of the company in rolling out.
                                                     -/-/-
It’d been a few days and you still hadn’t told Adam the news. You wanted to. Desperately. But any time the opportunity presented itself, you chickened out. Eventually you broke and told Sylvie the news, to which she’d hugged you and cried, which prompted you to cry as well.
Currently, you were out on a call and between handing out equipment, you were beginning to feel worse for wear. Dizziness swarmed you and periodically, your stomach cramped, but only near your back.
“Woah - hey! Watch it!” Your vision swam and you were swaying on your feet. Severide, who’d been stood closest to you, caught you before you’d hit the concrete. Your stomach cramped horrifically and tears forced themselves down your cheeks. In a matter of minutes you were loaded into the back of an ambulance.
Everything was too loud and too much. Jimmy drove to Med whilst Sylvie saw to you.
“Hey - stay with me, Y/N,” she prompted but all you could do was cry and writhe in pain. There was only one thing that seemed to work and that was a dose of painkillers to keep you calm until you reached Med.
What followed after you couldn’t be sure. Voices. Noise. Flashes of lights overhead. Blurry faces that vaguely resembled your friends as they looked down at you and barked orders for different quantities of painkillers. Different examinations and tests.
“ - Call Ruzek -” Was all you heard and before you could argue otherwise, everything blacked out.
                                                      -/-/-
You woke up gradually. Everything was still a little blurry and you couldn’t quite keep your eyes open long enough to figure out who was stood by your bedside.
Shit.
“Adam?” Your vision cleared and you were met with the concerned features of one Connor Rhodes.
“Unfortunately not. Adam’s on his way over, though. I can stay with you for a little, if you want?” There was only one question you needed an answer to before Adam arrived.
“Is… I mean - what happened?” Connor sighed and sat down. Took your hand in his and gave you an earnest look.
“Nat - Doctor Manning - could probably tell you more about it. But you collapsed on the scene and when they brought you in, you’d started bleeding. A lot -”
“Don’t sugar coat it, Rhodes. What happened?” Connor sighed and shook his head.
“Your pregnancy. The embryo had fused to the outside of your uterus. There’s no solid explanation for ectopic pregnancies, but they’re not as rare as they sound. The embryo ruptured and had to be removed -”
“Oh, my God -”
“- It was too risky to reimplant because you almost bled out on the table.”
“Can… Can I have a moment alone?” With a solemn nod, he stood up and headed to the door.
“I’m sorry, Y/N. Really.” You sniffed and nodded him out of the door. When he was gone, you allowed yourself the opportunity to cry.
For what felt like hours, you cried, heaved and sobbed. Despite the ache in your abdomen, you rolled on to your side and pushed your face into the pillow. You hadn’t even had the chance to break the news to Adam and now you didn’t have a say in the matter.
“Hey - oh my God, Y/N - what happened?” Adam burst in as you finally managed to calm yourself down. As he took a seat on the edge of the bed you turned to face him, tearstained and aching.
“I’m sorry… I’m sorry I should’ve told you sooner,” you stated as you pushed yourself to sit up. Adam was quick to pull you in as gently as possible for a hug.
“What? Sweetheart, what are you talking about?”
“I -” the words died on the tip of your tongue as you tried to force them out “- I was pregnant…” Heavy silence. The clock on the wall ticked.
“Was?”
“I meant to tell you, but I kept backing out. And today, I-I passed out on a call and they said that the embryo ruptured -” Fresh tears fell and you sobbed into his chest. Pale fingers gripped and twisted at his shirt as he held you, gently rocking back and forth with his arms around you.
“Hey… Hey, I’ve got you, alright? I’m right here,” he assured you with a kiss to your forehead.
“I’m sorry, Adam -”
“No, no, Y/N/N, you’ve got nothing to be sorry for. This wasn’t your fault.”
“I should’ve told you,” you lamented as Adam ran a hand over your hair, soothing you slightly. Before any more could be said to calm you down, Natalie appeared at the door and offered you a sympathetic smile as she took the seat to the side of you.
“I just want to say how sorry I am, Y/N.”
“Thank you, Nat.” With Adam by your side, she began to explain what to do moving forward. You tried your hardest to listen, you did. But there was no way you could ignore how heavy you felt. The way your head swam from being overfed with information, statistics and pamphlets.
But at the very least, at that moment, you had Adam by your side.
-/-/-
@justanoffalygirl​ :)) I’m sorry
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spotofimagines · 3 years
Text
Car Sick P1 ~ Dominic Calvert-Lewin
A/N: This is sort of carried on from this blurb I wrote a while ago, bc I loved the idea and wanted to write more for it, you should probs read that first to catch the vibes. This is for @footballffbarbiex writing challenge based on tv and film. I used this storyline from Modern Family with Gloria and Jay. Once again, no real timeline with this, just made up scenarios. I struggled with the next bit of this so I asked you how you wanted it and you chose 2 parts, here's the 1st. Enjoy :)
Warnings: pregnancy, kids, step parents, injury mention - reader is female
Summary: You thought you were just feeling car sick, turns out it's something else...
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gif by @hishairmyweakness - gif by @delstroyer
You were dropping your daughter off at Dele's for a long weekend since he didn't have a match or training to attend. After she had squeezed the biggest hug out of her dad and trudged dirt in his hallway, she perched on the sofa with her ipad and juicebox, leaving you and Dele to catch up.
Dele had been showing you how he redecorated his kitchen so you accepted a drink and decided to stay a little while. Plus you figured the news you had for him should rather be said in person than over the phone.
"Hey, Del, I have something to tell you." You said nervously, leaning your hands on the kitchen island. He turned around and took a sip of the drink he just poured as he walked closer to the other side of the island opposite you. "Go ahead." He replied, his eyebrows knitted in concern at your worried tone. 
"Well, remember when we stopped by last Friday since you were playing on her birthday?" you recollected and he nodded along. "And I had one of those herbal teas and a tablet because I was feeling car sick?" "Yeah..." he trailed off quietly, putting his drink on the counter between you. "Turns out I wasn't car sick," he frowned in confusion and looked even more lost than he did a moment ago. 
You fiddled your fingers together and took a deep breath, steadying yourself. You knew you could trust Dele with absolutely anything. You'd been close since you were teenagers, grew closer when you started dating and left nothing in the way when you had a baby. Being so young when it happened meant a lot of things turned against you, a lot of people with a lot of opinions trying to dictate your lives and yet you stuck it through. You haven't been together romantically for a while, however your relationship with him never faultered, your connection of trust staying strong.
But it didn't make this any easier to say. It wasn't hard to see when Dele got hit by moments of gloom at the sight of the mini family you were creating with Dominic. While your split years ago was amicable, and neither of you would rekindle that flame again, more than happy with your close friendship, Dele couldn't stop that jealous bubble rising in him when he saw your daughter enjoy spending time with Dom as much as she does with him. Blame his stubbornness but facing change wasn't his strongest suit. This news was going to be a big step away from that picturesque life you both once envisioned together and you desperately didn't want it to drive a wedge between you nor push Dele away. You had settled into a good rhythmic system with him that suited your daughter and your schedules, you'd hate to tarnish that in any way.
So, yes, you hesitated to tell him.
You sighed and picked at your nails, needing to just get it out before it drove you crazy.
"I'm pregnant." 
Dele's eyes went wide and his mouth opened a little from shock, the frown lines that creased his forehead disappearing. His breath was taken away. Nothing prepared him to hear those words come from your mouth and know that he wasn't involved. It was bound to happen but it still took him by surprise.
He tilted his head as he looked at you, nervously twiddling your thumbs like you always did, and it only took a few seconds for a smile to slowly grow on his face. "That," he cleared his throat and met your eyes with sincerity, "that's great. Congratulations." 
He scuffed his socked feet along the floor as he walked round the counter to wrap you in a warm hug. He squeezed your shoulder and gave your cheek a quick kiss when he pulled away, a genuine smile on his face. No, he wasn't involved this time, but he knew how amazing it was to experience pregnancy and he was certain Dominic would take to it greatly.
"What did Dom say?" He asked, leaning over to grab his glass and take another drink. Your breath caught in your throat and that made Dele side-eye you mid sip. "You haven't told him, have you?" He questioned gently, and you shook your head.
Now it was his turn to sigh. 
The glass clinked loudly in the quiet room when he put it back down, and he had a ton of questions he could have asked you and a ton of things he could have told you to do that he thought was right, but it wasn't his place. Not anymore. So he took a moment to think whilst you rubbed your hands down your front to straighten out your t-shirt again. 
"Are you going to?" You tutted and looked back up at him incredulously. "Of course I am Del, think it'll be pretty hard to miss when I'll be bursting through my clothes!" You joked and he held his hands up in defence as he chuckled, realising it was a stupid question.
"Are you nervous, then?" He tried again, this time opting for something more reasonable. "More nervous than when I told you for the first time." You admitted. Dele whistled lowly and shook his head with a laugh. 
The state you were in a bit under 7 years ago now when you told him you were going to have his child, it was something else. He still insists he hasn't seen someone so frantic, before or since. He could only imagine what was coming Dominic's way.
---
There were plenty of reasons for you to believe Dom would be happy to be a dad. He adored his young brother and truly enjoyed spending time with him when he was back home. He was thoughtful and attentive with all the people he knew so you know he'd be the same, multiplied by a million, when it came to a child that depended on him.
But the way he cared for your daughter above anyone else proved to you, without a doubt, how good he would be. Dom wasn't her biological father, but that never once stopped him loving her the way she deserved. Dom made sacrifices when he needed to and even when he didn't. He'd stay awake if she couldn't sleep, he'd ask to see her on facetime when he was travelling and he always asked her about school, he even did the afternoon pick up with you when he got the chance. If Dom would be such an amazing figure in the life of a little girl he had no obligation to be a part of, just imagine what he'd be like with his own child.
You wouldn't question his want or excitement to have kids with you at any time, having spoken about it before. 
Any time except now.
Dom hadn't been himself the last week, and justifiably so. He picked up a knee injury in the Merseyside derby last Saturday that resulted in him hopelessly limping off the pitch with the physio under his arm to hold him up. A torn ACL was the conclusion after a couple hours in the hospital. While an injury was never welcome, a minimum six months out was tough to take. But with the upcoming England tournament he'd been called up for that he will now have to miss, alongside the rest of the Premier League season, it shattered him. His club and his country had important matches this year and it killed him to not be able to help secure some much needed wins for them.
Most of Sunday was spent doting on him, helping him relax and alleviating both his physical and mental pain, offering comfort through his favourite meals and hours of cuddles, something your daughter happily assisted with. 
However, by the time Monday rolled around, his rest was stifled by your daughter's birthday party.
Despite how often you'd sat him back down, Dom wasn't used to sitting all day and had helped you decorate the house whilst your girl was at school. The balloons were littered in the front room, the buffet snacks laid out on the dining table, and the banners Dom had pinned on the ceiling blew from the gentle breeze coming in through the back door. 
So by the time you pulled into the drive with a car full of young girls eager for sugar, Dom was working on half a bar of energy already. Yet he played along with the party activities and managed to dance, or more shuffle, to some Disney songs on his crutches inbetween sneaking mini sausage rolls and chocolate biscuits. 
You could see him getting more tired as each kid left, but "she only turns 6 once, right?", so he persisted on keeping the party lively until your daughter was knocked out in bed, out of her party dress but still wearing the new bracelet she got from Grandma. 
You trailed behind Dom with two cups of tea as he hobbled toward the sofa, barely managing to keep himself up despite it only being 9pm. He dropped heavily on the cushions in the corner and let his crutches fall on the carpet, not caring where they landed as long as they stayed within reach. The sigh that left him could have knocked down a tree. 
Before you got comfortable, you put his mug on the table and put a random sitcom on the TV. Dom's eyes were closed and his legs were stretched out as best as they could be, his injured knee up on the couch in front of him with a cushion underneath and an ice pack held on top.
"I'm telling you, I feel way too old for this." He muttered just loud enough to hear. "You're only 24." You chuckled a little into your tea at his complaint.
"Yeah," he rolled his head your way, hair falling on his face, "but running after her makes me feel 70, she knocks me out," he spoke quietly but with the last tints of energy in his tone, "and with this peg leg too you gotta change that to 80."
You smiled at him sympathetically and loosely linked your fingers with his, rubbing your thumb on the back of his hand as let his eyes close again.
He was joking, it was obvious. But a niggling part of your brain told you that he wasn't just being dramatic. 
Admittedly it was a tiring evening with your daughter's friends running around, but with the lack of energy left in Dom, how could a baby be added to that scenario and it not be an issue? Maybe it was the wrong time. Maybe, no definitely, getting pregnant when Dom wasn't shrouded by an injury, when he didn't have frustration on top of frustration on his shoulders, when there wasn't a hyperactive 6 year old that needed attention too - that would definitely be a better time to have a baby. But that wasn't what life had handed you. Life was a little more complicated in its ways than to give you an easy run, you knew that well enough by now. 
What concerned you most was how Dom would handle it. Whilst he had picked up parenting duties well over the past couple years, he hadn't been there when your daughter was a baby, nor had he seen how tough it was on you at the time. The thought of raising another was scaring you, so it would surely terrify Dom, doing it for the first time. 
Even before the time came to hold them in your arms, being pregnant was no easy deal. So how could he possibly handle the stress of an upcoming baby, the stress of having to look after 2 kids in the future, the stress of a cranky pregnant girlfriend, the stress of prepping the house and himself, all whilst he's hobbling on crutches and having to watch his teammates from the sidelines too? 
You sipped your tea and let the TV fill the room as your brain ran overdrive with questioning thoughts, sitting silent next to your boyfriend who's head seemed full of only the sleep he was dreaming of, oblivious to the changes that were coming his way.
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talkfastromance4 · 3 years
Text
Temporary--Luke&Lily series
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a/n: so sorry it’s taken me a month to complete this. It’s a heavy topic with a lot of emotions and I was feeling what my characters were feeling. This is very detail oriented, some medical jargon (I did my best research and some of it was from watching Grey’s Anatomy which I know isn’t realistic but I tried)
warnings: NICU mentions throughout, premature birth, C-section, sadness, moments of grief and loneliness, some sexual content. **Please read very carefully, this is a sensitive topic**
word count: 9.7k
Masterlist
Luke&Lily Masterlist
Magical Memoriess&Misfortunes (<-- catch up here)
feedback is always welcome, I hope you enjoy it.
****
It’s like you’re in a horrible dream. You’re frozen in terror at the multiple bodies moving above you, their voices warped but all you feel is immense pain and fright. You search for Luke through your blurred and clouded vision. The lights are too bright. It hurts your eyes.
You think you hear your name through the thick cotton cloud that has somehow gotten in your ear. Why can’t you hear properly? Where’s Luke? How did you get on this moving bed?
Another white-hot-blazing pain slices through you. You think you scream. Hands are on you and then it goes black…
…When you wake up, you’re still in this horrible nightmare that won’t seem to end. Usually when the terrible things keep happening, you wake up in a cold sweat.
“…. lovie…”
Your head lolls to the side and you see Luke’s eyes peeking out above a blue mask and a blue cap. It still feels like you’re stuck in a cloud and you feel a tug below you. Before you can look down, Luke cups your cheek and shakes his head.
You don’t know what he means but tears start rolling down your cheeks and then you close your eyes again. Why can’t you wake up? You just want to wake up, get out of this night terror…
…Coming to again and you hear more voices and commotion. You hear the urgency. Their words meet your ears, but the meaning doesn’t register with your brain. What is happening? Luke still has a firm grip on your face, but you look beyond him and see a group of people in blue gathered around a small thing. Their hands work quickly. You wish your tears would make what’s happening clearer.
“He’s breathing! It’s very labored!”
“Intubate him. Page Dr. Chambers.”
“Move people!”
He? Who’s he?
You look to Luke and he’s smiling through his own tears, his forehead pressed to yours.
Just as you’re about to connect the very blurry dots, more pain ensues. This is the worst thing you’ve ever felt in your life. It’s all over your body and it’s in your chest, collapsing onto you.
More voices.
More urgency.
More terror.
More questions.
Then, you drift off once more, the pain ceasing with each gasped breath.
**
Soft, methodical beeps drift you awake. You’re not on that strange cloud anymore but your body feels heavy, weighted. You search your brain for where you are, the sheets are crisp and your feet are cold. Disney World swims by and you’re confused because you remember waking up after you fainted.
Was that real?
Or is this real?
Then it hits you, like the snap of a rubber band breaking all the distorted memories and voices and hands all come back. The pain. The tug. He…
You gasp and flash your eyes open. You’re met with a white ceiling and wires and tubes suspended above you. There’s commotion to your left then Luke’s face is in your vision. His eyes are red with dark circles underneath them; his hair is a disarray as if he’s been pulling his fingers through it repeatedly.
“Oh, thank God, Y/N I was so worried. They told me you’d be asleep for a while because you lost so much blood…so much blood…but you’re okay now. You’re awake. I’m right here, lovie, I’m right here,” he rushes out in a frantic whisper.
He touches your forehead carefully and he’s so warm. You’re still trying to string everything together but there’s so many gaps in time. You’re pinpointing things by the different types of pain you experienced.
“What…what happened?” you croak then try to swallow. But your mouth and throat are so dry it’s like trying to swallow sand. It hurts.
When will the pain stop?
Luke’s eyes soften, he continues to stroke your forehead and into your hair. He licks his chapped lips then shakes his head.
“I…”
“Did I lose the baby?” you whisper, voice sounding like broken glass. Tears well up in your eyes again.
“No, no, no…shhh, shhh,” he soothes wiping at your tears with his other hand.
“They don’t…” he takes a deep shuddering breath, “you had a C-section. He’s in the NICU being monitored, I only got a small glimpse of him before they took him away. He’s so small and I don’t know what’s happening, no one has come by and I’ve been worried you wouldn’t wake up.”
And then you’re comforting him by pulling his head to yours, he sobs into you and you pet his hair. Your voice is lost, you feel the sudden loss of your baby not in you anymore, your heart is very fragile and seeing Luke like this terrifies you.
But Luke also said ‘he’ and a small smile appears on your lips. You have a son.
“I’m so glad you’re awake, baby,” he whispers. You feel his hot tears soak through the gown on your shoulder.
“Can you call for a nurse?” you ask kissing his hair delicately. At least, you hope you do because your lips are also very chapped and dry. You need some damn water.
“What hurts?” his head snaps up and you see why his eyes are so red; from his tears.
You swallow and swipe at his own tears.
“We need damn information about our son, and I need some damn water,” your voice shakes with ferocity. Luke punches the call button repeatedly until a nurse runs in.
**
After hydrating yourself with water, Luke took your hand keeping his gaze on you as you demanded the nurse to get your doctor, or your son’s doctor, to come and give you information. You’re never normally one to yell at someone, but your memories have so many holes in them you need to know what’s happened.
The nurse tries to console you but you’re hell bent on finding out about your son. Your son you haven’t even seen yet.
“I will walk there if I have to,” you threaten through gritted teeth. The more frustrated you become the more prominent the throb and ache below your waist also becomes.
“I will go find your doctor right away, ma’am,” the nurse nods frantically and runs from the room. You glare in his wake.
Luke squeezes your hand; you look at him.
“I love you,” he says simply but you hear way more than that.
I’m scared, too. I don’t know what to do either. We’re in this together. I’m never letting go.
Shortly after, a doctor walks in the room, her expression timid and she’s scrolling on her iPad.
“Mrs. Hemmings, how are you feeling? Any pain we can help with? I’m Dr. Wilson and I administered the C-section.”
“I’m fine. Take me to my son and let me know what’s happening,” you demand.
“Mrs. Hemmings, with your son being born at only 25 weeks the next 24 hours is very critical. We are monitoring him as we speak, I have my best staff on his watch,” Dr. Wilson explains, her voice cool and collected.
“What happened?”
Dr. Wilson steps closer to your side of the bed, her round face and almond-shaped eyes show both kindness and fire in them. You’re still on the fence on how to feel about her because she didn’t tell Luke anything.
“Part of your placenta was twisted, and it caused you to go into early labor which also caused stress on your baby. Thankfully, you got here in time and we were able to get him out before it became worse. His breathing was labored and with him being so small and born extremely early, his organs haven’t fully developed yet.”
“Why are the next 24 hours critical?” Luke asks, his hold on your hand is like a death grip.
“Because he’s still so small, his lungs aren’t at the correct size they should be. Lack of oxygen can cause severe brain damage or heart failure. We have an ET, endotracheal tube in his mouth which is hooked to a ventilator to help him breathe. An IV is also administering the nutrition he needs, we’re monitoring his heart rate, blood pressure, oxygen levels, and he’s being kept in an incubator that helps simulate the inside of the womb.”
You take in all the information, your heart longing for your baby boy that you have no idea what he looks like.
“What’s the survival rate for a baby born at 25 weeks?” your voice cracks. Luke shifts closer to you, his other hand covering yours.
Dr. Wilson glances between you and Luke before answering solemnly, “Between 67 to 76% survival.”
Luke lets out a choked gasp and you shift your eyes to the ceiling to keep the burning tears from falling.
“I can promise you Mr. and Mrs. Hemmings, that we are doing everything in our power to make sure he makes it through the next 24 hours. He’s a strong little guy.”
“Is there any way we can see him?” Luke’s voice wavers and is thick with emotion.
“Infection is very prominent right now; any outside contact can make him head in a worse direction.”
“Please,” you beg in a whisper meeting Dr. Wilson’s eyes. You notice that they’re brown. “I need to see him. I don’t want him to be alone if he…if he…”
You bite your lip and shake your head; you’re too overcome with emotions to finish a sentence you don’t even want to think about.
“Mrs. Hemmings, I can’t risk your stitches tearing. You’ve lost a lot of blood; your blood pressure is extremely high due to the stress of early labor.”
“I don’t care! Please, let me see him. I need to see what my baby looks like,” you cry. Luke rubs at your shoulder affectionately saying your name. You can’t look at him now. If you do you’ll lose this fiery courage that’s inside you right now.
“I understand. I’ll see what I can do, but are you sure you aren’t in any pain?”
“My stomach hurts,” you whisper.
“I’ll have a nurse fix that for you. I will be right back,” Dr. Wilson smiles then leaves the room.
The male nurse you screamed at comes back in and makes quick work with your IV. You’re too distraught to look or even speak to Luke so you keep your eyes fixed on the white board on the opposite wall. The name of your nurse is Tom, and you look at each yellow face on the ‘rate your pain’ scale. You’re fixated on the number zero face, it’s the happiest looking one with a wide-open smile.
That scale is wrong. The pain and fear and worry you’re feeling doesn’t equate a ten. It’s too powerful, it weighs down on you but at the same time you feel nothing. The pain is too much that it’s also gone. Your pain is at a zero, a big circle of nothing and everything all at once.
**
You’re not sure how much time has passed before Dr. Wilson comes back.
“I cannot take you to see him, but I found a way where you can see him,” she smiles then hands you her iPad.
It’s heavy in your hand and you gasp upon the first look of your baby boy. He’s surrounded by blankets under a large light with tubes, wires, and circular patches attached to his tiny, tiny self. You see his small chest moving rapidly with his breaths and you see the tiniest hat on his head. Luke drapes himself next to you, his lips pressing onto your temple.
“There he is,” you whisper touching your finger to the screen. “He looks so helpless…”
“How is he?” Luke asks.
“His oxygen level is still very low, but he’s taking the nutrients very well.”
You’ve already got his features memorized, and yet you can’t stop looking at him. You wish you could touch him, let him know you’re there and that you love him.
“Can we keep this in here?” you ask.
“Of course. I’ll be back with more updates, but I need you to rest and heal yourself, Mrs. Hemmings. Is there any family we need to contact?”
“The girls!” you gasp and turn to Luke.
“Shit,” he exhales then checks the time on his watch. “Lily’s with Cory by now and Posy…shit! I’ll call Ashton and then call Cory…”
He continues to mumble to himself as he searches for his phone. You turn back to the screen, your heart longing for your little boy.
**
Hours have gone by, the room you’re in is darkened from the night sky peeking through the blinds. The iPad is still on your lap and you’ve heard every conversation Luke has had while he made phone calls. Daycare called Ashton when neither you nor Luke picked Posy up and both of your phones went unanswered.
According to Ashton, Luke sent out a text to the band group chat that said ‘at hospital. Emergency get the girls will call’ but he doesn’t even remember sending it. Everything happened so fast and yet it felt like it dragged.
Posy is at your home with Ashton and KayKay who said will stay with her for as long as you two need. Just when you think of Lily, Luke already asks if they’d be all right picking her up from Cory’s on Sunday and they said yes.
“Lily might want to stay with Cory,” you tell him after he hangs up with Ashton. He’s tapping away at his phone, probably texting Calum and Michael or his family. Or all of them. You’re not sure but now you have Lily and Posy on your mind.
“It’s too late to call him,” Luke mutters and falls into the chair beside your bed. He scoots closer and peers at the iPad screen.
“Where’s my phone? I’ll call him so he and Ella can discuss it,” you hold out your hand.
“Lovie, it’s almost ten thirty at night—”
“Give me my phone so I can call him, Luke,” you interrupt a little too harshly. “Please.”
He holds your gaze for a moment before reaching into his other pants pocket. He hands you your phone and you scroll to Cory’s name under your favorites. You stare at your baby boy as the phone rings.
“Hey, Y/N, what’s going on?” Cory asks and you feel your emotions rising to the surface at the sound of his voice.
You force them down.
“Um, me and Luke are at the hospital. Something…” you suck in a large breath but your voice still trembles. “Something went wrong and I had an emergency C-section and the baby is in the NICU. Posy is home with Ashton and KayKay and they said they’d pick up Lily tomorrow but I know she’d probably want to stay with you. And I…I know it’s a lot to ask of you, but Lily needs to know. She’s been seeing everything going on around her and I don’t want her to be scared.”
“Of course, they can both stay with us. I still have Lily’s toddler bed. How are you? Tell me what’s going on.”
You tell him everything. Luke holds your hand as you do, his thumb rubbing soothing circles over your knuckles and your wedding ring.
“The doctor said he’s all right for now but he has to get through the next 24 hours?” Cory clarifies gently.
“Yes.”
“First of all, congratulations on a little boy,” he says and you can hear his smile through the phone. “You’re doing fine and he is too and he’ll continue to get better because he’s a fighter.”
“How do you know that? He’s so small, Cory….”
“I know it because you’re a fighter, I’m sure you’re giving the nursing staff hell and highwater to get answers,” he chuckles.
“Maybe a little. I feel bad about it.”
“You’re scared and you’re worried and this all happened so fast. But Luke is with you and you’ve got all of us supporting and loving you. You should try and get some sleep and I’ll tell Lily everything in the morning. Do you want me to call you so she can talk to you?”
“Yeah, that’d be great. Thanks, Cory.”
“Tell Luke I say hi and that I’m here for you two, okay?”
“Okay.”
“I’ll talk to you tomorrow. Love you, Y/N.”
“Love you too,” you sigh then the call ends. You turn to Luke, the circles under his eyes seem to have darkened and you reach over to touch the shadows on his cheeks. “He said he’ll keep the girls and will call tomorrow so we can talk to Lily. He says hi.”
Luke nods slowly then laces his fingers with yours. He kisses the tips of your fingers, his eyes closing.
**
You and Luke were sent hourly updates on your son. He’s been in the same condition each time, you try to find positivity in that because he’s not getting worse, but he’s also not in the clear yet. When Cory called again with Lily on the phone, you and Luke tried to make your voices sound positive. She asked a lot of questions and wondered when she could come see her new brother.
“He’s a little sick right now, honey. We need him to get better so we can all be together, okay?” you told her and she was silent for a while.
“When are you and dada gonna come home?”
“Hopefully soon, my love,” Luke tells her.
“What about Piggy?”
“Uncle Cal has her at his house,” you make up then quickly look to Luke who’s already pulling out his phone to text Calum.
You’re being horrible parents, forgetting everything like this but all of it still doesn’t seem real. Probably because you haven’t actually seen or held your son in your own arms. Your stitches are healing nicely but your body still seems to think it’s pregnant and that stirs up even more conflicting emotions.
“Be a good girl for your daddy and Ella, okay my sweet?”
“Okay. Can you give my brother a kiss for me?”
“We will, Lily. We love you so much.”
You and Luke tried to occupy your time by watching tv but you’re only watching the bodies move across the screen. You nod on and off but always jerk awake in case you miss the doctor or nurse coming in. Luke comforts you each time, assuring you that there’s no change and points to the screen where you can see your son.
The circles under his eyes only seem to darken with each passing minute. He helps you walk to the bathroom and back into bed. You try telling him he can go home to shower and get more clothes but he refuses.
“I’m not leaving you or our son until I know he’s okay.”
One of your favorite movies is playing on the tv, it’s a black and white film about a couple who adopts a baby girl. It goes through their funny moments trying to figure it all out but it ends tragically with the little girl getting sick. You drifted off before it came to that part and then you were shaken awake by Luke.
Dr. Wilson enters the room with a big smile on her face. You and Luke take hold of each other’s hands, holding onto each other in desperation.
“He’s in the clear. His oxygen levels have elevated and he has a steady heartbeat. It’s still going to be a while until you’ll be able to take him home, he’s still at risk for a lot of infection and we want to make sure his organs continue to develop correctly,” Dr. Wilson explains.
“He’s okay?” you whisper.
“He is. He’s a little warrior.”
“When…when can we see him?” Luke asks.
“Let me check on your stitches first, and if they look all right I can take you down now, if you’d like.”
“Please, please,” you nod scrambling to move your blankets off you.
**
Luke is wheeling you down the brightly lit hallway in the NICU ward, you see other parents hovering around the incubator their baby is in. You and Luke had to be fitted into the light pink gowns with masks and gloves before you could see your son. You were more than okay wearing the odd things if it meant being able to finally see him.
Luke rolls you in between families until Dr. Wilson stops at the last station near the window. A nurse is standing by writing down something on a chart and then you’re right next to his incubator. First, all you can see is a mountain of swaddled blankets with tubes and wires sticking out from every direction. Then you see slight movement and you lean forward and come face to face with your baby.
Tears are rolling down your cheeks as you stare at him. He looks like he could just barely fit in your palms, you see the quick flutter of his heart through his thin chest that has wired tape. You press your hands to the reinforced plastic, the warmth from the light radiates through the gloves.
“Hi, my baby boy, I’m your mama,” you whisper and you’re aching to touch him. You see the two round openings for hands and you move your hands before looking to Dr. Wilson.
“You can touch him, let him know you’re here,” she encourages.
Very carefully, you insert your arm stretching your finger to his small body. You press against his cheek as lightly as you can, he’s warm and that makes you feel better.
“Hi sweetheart,” you continue to talk to him and you hear Luke sniff behind you. “You’re doing so well. Keep it up so you can get big and strong and we can take you home to your big sisters. Your daddy’s here, too.”
Dr. Wilson moves and Luke takes her place. He puts his arm through the opening and strokes his finger down your son’s arm. Your baby trembles a little then leans into your touches. You can’t help the wet smile from forming, he’s perfect. You rub at his forehead gently.
“We need to name him,” you say looking across globe of your son’s new home.
“I haven’t…do you have a name?”
“One popped in my head just now.”
“What is it?”
“Oliver,” you smile glancing down at him. “I was searching through names online and this one stuck out at me. It has a lot of meanings like peace, wisdom, health, and luck.”
“I think it’s perfect,” Luke smiles. “I know he’s only 24 hours old, but he seems very wise to me, don’t you think?”
“Wise and healthy.”
**
Tension has been high between you and Luke. You were at the hospital for a week and a few days more because you had contracted an infection at your incision site. It’s pretty common for an infection but that meant you couldn’t go visit Oliver. Once your infection was cleared you were discharged to go home.
You and Luke moved around each other like orbits just passing by. When you wake in the morning you move about the room like robots, barely looking at each other until you’re ready to go. Cory, Ashton, and the others stayed with Lily and Posy during the day while the both of you went to the hospital to visit Oliver. You missed Lily and Posy terribly and only saw them when they were fast asleep by the time you got home. 
You’d even forgotten about Posy’s birthday and it made you feel even worse than you already felt. Your hormones are abnormal and your body still feels like it’s pregnant even though you know you’re not. It’s a weird feeling, it’s a sad feeling because you can’t even hold your baby that is no longer inside your stomach. 
To your surprise, Ashton and KayKay had orchestrated Posy’s birthday for you and Luke. 
“We have to put on a happy face for Po,” Luke says softly on the morning of her birthday.
Your bodies are set to an automatic alarm because of the hospital visits. You’re staring at the ceiling then roll over to face Luke who is also facing the ceiling with his hands behind his head. You take in his profile, the sharp angle of his nose, his full beard and the smooth skin of his arms over lean muscles. It’s been so long since you’ve touched each other. 
Does he miss you too?
“I’m trying to,” you whisper and silently beg him to look at you. To kiss you. To hold you. To tell you that everything is going to be all right.
Instead, he sighs then rolls out of bed. You watch the muscles in his back pull and tighten when he puts on a t-shirt and heads into the bathroom. You flick your eyes back to the ceiling, swiping away the tears that fall anyway. You’re only allowing yourself those two tears because you know you won’t stop once you start. 
Luke can’t see you break. Lily and Posy can’t see you break. 
“Ash said he and KayKay will be here at ten to start decorating. I want to make the girls breakfast, hopefully make up for lost time,” Luke announces out of the bathroom. 
“Good idea,” you nod then will yourself out of bed. You force yourself to not touch your belly, but like every morning, you always do. It’s still a little swollen from the pregnancy and the incision, but you know it’s empty. 
Before you grab your satin robe, you glance at Luke who had his eyes fixed on your hands over your belly. He meets your eyes for a moment, looks like he’s about to say something, but he leaves the room. 
You’re tired of feeling broken and empty.
**
The girls were ecstatic waking up to you and Luke. Posy was situated on Luke’s hip as he made her favorite breakfast and Lily filled you in on what’s going on at school and with Roman. She talked until Ashton and KayKay arrived and your heart had sunk all the way to your stomach because of how much you’ve missed in Lily and Posy’s life the last few weeks. 
You helped where you could with the decorations and then you remembered Posy wanted a dinosaur cake but before you could panic, Cory and Ella arrived with the cake. 
You tried to keep on a brave face throughout the party. You helped Posy open her presents, you talked with your friends and family. You couldn’t help the way your eyes gravitated towards Ella who is about 35 weeks along now. 
It’s another reminder that you aren’t pregnant and that your baby is in critical condition. You shake it off because you have to. Your phone sends you updates on Oliver by the hour, and he’s remained stable for the whole day which is improvement. 
“Thank you so much for doing all of this,” you tell Ashton and KayKay as they’re leaving. Aside from Cory and Ella, they’re the last to leave.
“No problem at all,” Ashton smiles pulling you in for a hug. He kisses the top of your head. “We’re more than happy to help. We’ll plan another one when our boy Oliver is home.”
“We’re all here for you, love you,” KayKay smiles and wraps you in her arms. 
“We love you, too.”
“Unca Ash bye-bye?” Posy asks next to you. She looks up at Ashton with big puppy eyes, her arms up. 
“Yeah, little one. We need to go to bed, just like you!” he lifts her in his arms and blows raspberry kisses on her cheek. “Did you have fun at your party?”
“Yeah!” she claps her hands. 
“Good! Now, you go to bed like mama says and we’ll see you tomorrow, okay?”
“Otay.”
“Love you.”
“Luh you,” she sings and hugs his neck while KayKay takes her hand and kisses her fingers. 
“Let’s go to bed, Pose,” you take her from Ashton then wave one last time as they head out the door. 
“I’ll be outside, babe. My feet are killing me,” Ella tells Cory then she moves to you with Lily’s hand in hers. “We’ll be here bright and early so you can go see how Oliver’s doing.”
“Thank you. I’m sorry we’re--”
“You have nothing to apologize for. It’s what families do. Try and get some sleep tonight,” Ella touches your arm, her face turns into a frown. “You look exhausted.”
“I’ll try.”
You know you won’t. 
She kisses Posy and gives Lily one more hug then waddles outside to the car. Cory and Luke are cleaning up last call cups and you take your girls to their rooms to do their bedtime routine. You try and keep Posy in your arms as long as you can, hugging her and loving on her. 
She doesn’t even make it halfway through her favorite book, Where the Wild Things Are, and then you take Lily into her room. 
“When can I see my brother?” she asks as you tuck her in. 
“I don’t know yet, sweetheart,” you reply sadly, “he needs to get better first. Dada and I talk about you and Posy all the time to him.”
“You do?” her eyes widen in amazement. “Can I bring him a present?”
“I think he’d like that very much.”
“Mama?” 
“Hm?” you tuck her snuffy and bunny next to her under the covers. 
“I missed you,” she says quietly.
Your heart jolts. You stop fixing up her toys and look down at Lily, your first baby, and she’s playing with the ear of her bunny. The pink bunny she’s had since she first met Luke.
“I miss you, too. I’m so sorry we haven’t been here with you and Posy. Dada and I are going to fix that, okay?” you ask and she nods. You lean down to give her a kiss and a hug, her arms tighten around your neck.
You don’t let go until she does. You shut off her light and close the door, with just a small crack left open. You’re going to talk to Luke, you’ve decided as you head back downstairs. You tried having just one of you go to the hospital while the other stayed home with the girls but neither one of you wanted to be away if Oliver’s health took a turn. 
Just as you’re about to enter the kitchen, you hear your name between Luke and Cory. 
“Y/N’s in bad shape,” Cory says.
“Yeah, I know.”
“This has happened before, where she shuts down and tries to fix it herself but she can’t.”
“I know that, too, considering she’s my wife.” Luke’s voice is clipped, each word sharp as a knife. You’re shocked at it; he and Cory have always been on good terms with each other. 
“Have you tried talking to her about it? Because the way you two were acting tonight was like you didn’t even want to be near each other. She doesn’t need that, not right now when--”
“Look, I know you and Y/N have a close bond. It’s something I’ve tried to understand but I can’t and there’s nothing I can do to change that. It doesn’t bother me as much as it did in the beginning, but I don’t need your advice on how to help my wife.”
What did he mean ‘in the beginning’?
“Yeah? You had no problem taking my help when you broke up with her those three months,” Cory’s voice now has more of an edge to it. 
“I’m surprised you helped in the first place. You think I didn’t notice how you looked at her? We’re handling this on our own.”
“You’re not handling anything! Neither of you are! Yeah, I care about Y/N, that won’t ever change and she’s hurting. Bad. If you won’t do something about it, then I will.”
“The hell you will. I appreciate all you’ve done for my family, but you’re crossing a line.”
“Stop.” 
You whisper the word as you stand in front of them but it catches their attention. Luke’s hands are balled into fists at his sides and Cory’s body is in a similar defense stance. They look to you.
“I am trying, okay? I’m trying to stay strong and hopeful for Oliver. I’m trying to keep on a brave face for Lily and Posy. I’m trying to decipher which feelings I should be feeling or which ones are still phantom pregnancy ones and I don’t even know if those are real. My body has already fallen apart, I don’t need my family to as well.”
“Y/N.”
“I feel horrible that I forgot Posy’s birthday. How could I forget that? My mind is constantly running and I’m so exhausted but I can’t sleep because I’m worrying. Please don’t fight, I can’t handle it.”
“Y/N... what can I do?” Cory asks almost pleadingly. 
Luke scoffs and rolls his eyes.
“I think you should go home. I know you mean well, Cory, but you don’t want to keep Ella waiting in the car.”
“I can--”
“Just go, Cory,” you say in a softer tone. You glance to Luke who is pointedly staring at a spot on the wall then look back to Cory. “Luke and I need to talk.”
Cory keeps staring at you as if checking that you really want him to leave. You nod. He sighs. 
“I’m sorry, you’re right,” he steps away from Luke then grabs your hand. “Call if you need anything.” He gives you a squeeze as you nod at his offer. 
The door closes with a soft snap and it’s just you and Luke now, all of your demons joined together. 
“What did you mean when you said, ‘it didn’t bother you like in the beginning’?” 
“I can’t talk about this now,” he shakes his head and shuffles towards the basement door where his music room is.
Good. It’s soundproof and if there will be yelling, it won’t wake the girls. You follow him downstairs.
“We are going to talk about this now. I feel like I’m walking on eggshells with you and I don’t know what to do! We don’t talk about Oliver, so let’s talk about you and Cory!” you follow him until he turns around quickly. His eyes ablaze.
“No, let’s talk about you and Cory. You’re only talking to him about Oliver. You called him right after everything happened.”
“Because he had Lily! You called everyone else!”
“None of them are in love with you!”
“WHAT?! That doesn’t even make sense!”
“When we started dating, I had a feeling Cory still loved you. I saw it in the way he looked at you and he’s been looking at you that same way now. You don’t talk to me about Oliver, you talk to him. How do you think that makes me feel? Oliver is our son.”
“I try to talk to you! But you always pull away! He doesn’t love me like you think he does, and the fact you’re bringing this up now, years later, is ridiculous.”
“Right,” he snorts, “it’s ridiculous that the ex of my wife who is the father of her child still loves you.”
“Yes!” you screech and fist your hands in the air in frustration. “Do you even hear yourself? He’s engaged to Ella. He’s having a baby with Ella!”
“Then why do you talk to him about Oliver and not me? Huh?” he advances towards you, towering over you. 
“Because I blame myself every day that this happened and you do, too. You can’t even look at me and I…” you choke on your words; Luke’s hardened expression softens as your words sink in. “I feel like I’m losing you.”
Then you’re gasping for air as the tears you’ve been bottling up come crashing down. Your weird emotions, your worry, your fear, everything you’ve been feeling finally falls out in the open. It crashes between you and Luke like a tidal wave. Your body feels weak and you almost collapse onto the small couch but Luke grabs hold of your waist, his other hand cupping your face.
“Hey, hey, hey, hey. Look at me, look at me,” he rushes out. “I don’t blame you; I could never blame you. This isn’t your fault; do you hear me?” his eyes have a half-crazed look in them and somehow that grounds you.
“W-why wo-won’t you l-l-look at m-me?” you sob coughing out the words. 
“Oh, baby,” he sighs then awkwardly shifts around until you fall on top of him on the couch. He holds you tight against him. You’re immediate to wrap yourself around him like a pretzel “It’s because I don’t know what to say. I wish I could make this all better, make Oliver healthy, take all your pain away. I can’t even imagine what you’re going through right now and it kills me to see you like this.”
“I’m a horrible mom,” you cry harshly into his chest. 
Luke pushes you off of him and he’s blurred through your tears. 
“Don’t you ever say that again. You give everything and a million times more in love to our children. I see how hard you’re trying to keep it together, and it kills me.”
“I’m s--”
Luke mashes his lips to yours and you close your eyes. It’s wet and salty, it tastes of heartache and regret and yet his kiss feels like home. 
“You have nothing to apologize for,” he mumbles. “Stop--” he kisses you again “--just stop--” he kisses you once more with his fingers tangling in your hair. 
You wanted to be closer to him, feel every part of him touch every part of you but you aren’t past the six weeks mark yet. 
“I love you,” you whisper.
“I love you, too. Let’s take a warm shower and talk things out.”
After a warm shower of kisses and roaming hands, you snuggled against Luke in your bed and tried to come up with a plan where you could be home and at the hospital equally. And you both decided that as soon as Dr. Wilson gives the okay, you’re going to bring the girls to meet him.
When you’ve talked and finalized plans, you gaze at Luke as his eyes start to close. You stroke the slope of his nose, itching to ask him about the fight he had with Cory earlier. You open your mouth to ask and then close it just as quickly. Luke’s eyes open up and he pulls you against him, his fingers tickle the skin of your back. 
“I know you want to ask, so ask.”
“Why do you think Cory is still in love with me?”
He sighs heavily.
“I don’t. I guess I went back to old thoughts and insecurities.”
“So, you thought he still was at one point?”
“I knew he was because he told me. When we weren’t together those three months, he came by and told me how you and Lily were doing. The way he looked at you...it’s how I look at you. And when he tried to help us tonight…” he closes his eyes and shakes his head in embarrassment. “I was stupid. I shouldn’t have said what I did.”
“I’m sorry you’ve been feeling this way for so long,” you caress his bearded cheek.
“I honestly don’t think about it anymore, it just sprung up in my mind tonight,” he sighs. “I appreciate everything Cory’s been doing. I’ll call him tomorrow and apologize.”
“You know how much I love you?” your fingers brush his damp curls from his forehead that you press your lips too. You breathe in his shampoo, his skin soft and his own fingers slip under your shirt to keep caressing your back.
“About as much as I love you.”
He kisses your chin as you kiss his cheek and eventually your lips find each other.
**
It’s been a month and Oliver is still in the hospital. He’s progressing well and getting stronger every day. Posy and Lily were able to come visit him with Michael and Calum in tow. Posy ran to Luke who he picked up and peppered kisses to her cheeks and Lily ran to you with a little gift bag in her hands.
“What’s this?” you ask her as Luke points Oliver out to Posy, Calum, and Michael.
“Unca Mikey said this will help Oliver feel better,” Lily pulls out a small green octopus.
“I read online that it helps them feel comforted if they can’t be held yet,” Michael explains and you give him a smile.
“Can we give it to him mama?” Lily asks setting the bag on the floor.
“I think that’s a great idea,” you kiss her cheek then stand. “Let’s head inside.”
When you’re all gathered around Oliver, Calum lifts Lily in his arms so she can see him from up above and you slip the little octopus inside the round hole. You press it under his arm delicately, his tiny, tiny fingers latch on to one of the tentacles.
“Baby!” Posy points.
“He likes it!” Lily exclaims and Calum grins at her.
“Of course, he does, it’s from you and Po,” Calum says.
“And me,” Michael grumbles stepping a little closer to the incubator. His eyes soften when he looks over his nephew and you can almost sense his sadness.
“Thank you for getting it for him,” you link your arm through his and rest your head against his shoulder. “It was very thoughtful.”
“How long do you think it will be until you can bring him home?” Michael asks watching his tiny chest flutter with each breath.
“Until he’s at a healthy weight and can be taken off the ventilator,” Luke answers.
“Is he going to sleep with me?” Lily asks.
You and Luke share a look. You hadn’t thought about that. Before all of this happened, you still had a lot of time before you got his nursery ready. There is the playroom you could transform into a nursery…
“No, he’ll have his own room, sweets. When he’s home he might cry a lot and wake you up at night.”
“That’s okay. I can help.”
“You’re the best big sister ever, you know that?” Calum looks to her and she smiles sheepishly.
“Would Crystal help us change the playroom into a nursery?” you ask Michael.
“Definitely.”
“I think we should tell them his middle name,” Luke smiles at you.
“What is it?” Calum asks.
“Well, we decided on Michael,” you grin at Michael whose eyes widen. “You jump started us trying for another baby and when we decided on it Oliver sneezed. So, he likes it and it fits him perfectly.”
“Oliver Michael…” Calum tests it out then nods. “Yeah, sounds good to me. If you guys have another one, Calum’s a pretty kick ass name.”
“That means a lot guys, thank you,” Michael shifts his arm so he can pull you in for a hug. He kisses the top of your head.
**
A few weeks later, Ella had her beautiful baby girl, Violetta. You wanted to give them some time alone before bringing the girls over to their house to meet her. Lily sat on the couch with Violetta resting on a pillow on her lap and Posy sat next to her, staring at Violetta with curious eyes. It was odd to see the size difference between her and Oliver.
“She’s beautiful,” you tell Ella. She just took a photo of the three girls together.
“Thank you. I can’t believe she’s finally here,” she sighs tiredly then glances to Luke and Cory who are talking outside. “Cory told me what happened after Posy’s birthday.”
“Oh,” you clear your throat awkwardly, “he did, did he?”
“I know you two have a special bond, you have a history and Lily…I’m sorry that things escalated like that. How’s Luke?”
“He’s okay now, we talked about it. Ella, I hope you know that I don’t love Cory how I love Luke.”
“Oh, I know! We’re all a big, blended family, sometimes things get messy but I’ve never had a big family before. I adore you and Luke. I’m not upset at all, I understand.”
“Good. We adore you, too,” you smile then gaze at Violetta. You see more of Ella in her than Cory but she also resembles Lily a little.
“Would you like to hold her?” Ella asks gently.
“I’d love to,” you smile then push her back in her seat. “Rest, I bet you’re still sore. Lily, I’m going to hold your new sister now, okay? Why don’t you and Posy go play for a little bit.”
You lift Violetta off of Lily’s lap and the two girls run into Lily’s room. Violetta rests comfortably in the crook of your arm, she sleeps peacefully as you sway from side to side.
“Hi, pretty girl,” you coo. “You are such a pretty little one, aren’t you? Yeah, you get that from your mommy.”
“How’s Oliver doing?”
“Better, they’re talking about taking him off the ventilator soon and see how he does. He’s gaining more weight, not as fast as they want but it’s something,” you smile.
“Good, I’m glad to hear that. And you and Luke?”
“We’re…coping. We’re still trying to find the balance between the hospital and home, but now that Lily’s out of school it’s much easier to come and go.”
“If you and Luke ever want to take a long weekend, the girls can stay here.”
“Oh, no, not with Violetta just being born! I don’t want you to feel overwhelmed—”
“I insist. It will give me practice if we have more kids,” Ella smiles.
“We’ll be outnumbered then,” you laugh. “The kid to adult ratio is even now.”
“You’re right,” Ella laughs. “They’re going to rule our world.”
“I don’t mind, they’re pretty awesome,” you shrug and gaze down at Violetta. You hope you’ll be able to hold Oliver like this soon.
**
Luke’s birthday is approaching and he’s told you repeatedly he doesn’t want a big party or anything this year. The only thing he wants is to hopefully bring Oliver home by the end of the month. You were finally able to hold him and have some skin-to-skin contact.
You sat in the rocking chair next to his incubator and the nurse placed him on your chest. His skin is warm and beneath the starchy hospital smell, he had that natural smell all babies have. You couldn’t help but cry after finally holding him after almost three months of just looking at him. His fingers flexed on your chest before you slipped your pinky between them. He held on tightly.
“Hi baby boy,” you whisper kissing the top of his little hat. “Remember me?”
“How does he feel?” Luke asks, his voice thick with emotion.
“He’s that piece I’ve been missing.”
You could sit there for hours just holding him but you know how badly Luke wanted to hold his son so you changed places. He unbuttoned his shirt and the nurse helped you place Oliver on his chest.
“He’s so small,” Luke smiles fondly. “Hi buddy, I’m your daddy. You’re doing so good getting all big and strong. Your mama and I can’t wait to take you home. We’re going to have a big party, but I promise I’ll make everyone keep it quiet.”
“It’s nice to see you holding him,” you sniff and he starts to rock.
“It was nice to see you hold him, too,” he smiles. “We’ll take him home soon. We’re almost there.”
**
On Luke’s birthday, you and the girls surprised him with breakfast in bed and a brand-new record collection he’s been talking about. Michael and Crystal offered to watch the girls while you visited Oliver. You promised you’d be back by dinner time and you secretly arranged Luke’s favorite food to be delivered.
The two of you sat with Oliver and talked about how far he’s come along. He’s at four pounds already and is now in an open crib rather than an incubator. His organs have developed how they should and he’s had no complications. Dr. Chambers wants him to stay until he’s five pounds just to be sure he’s still gaining weight like he should.
The nurse told you you could try and start breast feeding him soon.
With multiple kisses to Oliver, you left him for the night to continue Luke’s birthday at home. Michael told you the girls wanted to bake a cake and he sent you photos and videos of the whole experience. You couldn’t wait to surprise Luke with the meal.
When you got home you noticed Michael’s car was gone and the house was quiet. There was a big balloon on the kitchen table next to the delivery bag of Luke’s favorite restaurant and the cake the girls made along with a note.
“’Our birthday gift to you is two things: a night alone and a new room. Enjoy your birthday! Love Michael and Crystal,’” Luke reads off from a note. He turns to you with a lopsided smile.
“A new room? What does that mean?” you examine the note.
“It better not be some kinky sex room,” Luke mutters and you nudge him in the shoulder. “Let’s go explore.”
He takes you by the hand and you make your way upstairs to the bedrooms. The light of the playroom is on so you turn in there and gasp. It’s been transformed into Oliver’s room. There’s a beautiful white crib filled with small stuffed animals and a dinosaur blanket. His name is above his crib in block letters and there’s a bookshelf with some trinkets and books.
You page through them and see each one was given to you by your friends with a little message written inside for Oliver. You can’t wait to have Oliver in here, safe and warm.
“I have a feeling Michael is going to spoil Oliver.”
“Probably,” you giggle and turn to face him. He’s looking at the other shelf that holds some clothes and blankets.
His shoulders are broad in his simple black shirt, his curls have gotten curlier because he’s let his hair grow out along with his beard. Your stomach flips as a dirty thought of feeling his beard on the inside of your thighs enters your mind. How’d you get so lucky to have this strong, handsome, talented, kind man to be your husband?
“They’re spoiling us too, you know,” you step closer to him tickling your fingers up and down his arm. He looks down at you. “We have the whole house to ourselves birthday man. What do you want to do first?”
“I’d love to do you.”
You’re both careful as you get reacquainted with each other’s bodies. He removes your clothes carefully and you fall onto your bed, arms stretched out for him. You watch him with hungry eyes as he removes his own clothes then climbs over you. Before he can kiss you, you press your palms against his chest and stomach, feeling his heartbeat and warmth of his body.
“I’ll never get over you like this,” you sigh leaning up to kiss his collarbone.
“I’ll never get over you like this,” he repeats and pushes you back. He falls with you, pulling deep kisses from you before leaving a trail of open-mouthed kisses down your body. He makes sure to kiss at the scar from your C-section. “So beautiful. Every inch of you.”
“Have I told you how much I love your beard?” you ask scratching your nails through the soft hair. “It’s very sexy.”
“Yeah? I don’t look like a lumberjack?”
“You’d make a sexy lumberjack. I wouldn’t complain.”
Soft loving words are exchanged along with wandering hands as he works you up. When you finally connect, you sigh and squeeze your nails into his shoulders. His thrusts are shallow and controlled making sure not to hurt you but also wanting to make this reconnection last.
“Feels so good to be in you again,” he mumbles in your neck. You glide your hands down his back and to the globes of his ass, you give a squeeze and try to make him move faster. “Missed you.”
“Missed you, too,” you sigh turning your head and your tongues connect.
It’s gentle and intimate and your orgasm is slow building but when it washes over you, you’re left in a warmth that you’ve been craving. It’s a warmth only Luke can provide, it’s his love and your love coming together.
Afterwards, you heat up the food and eat it in bed along with the cake. Being cheeky, you swipe the frosting on your finger and drag it onto his stomach.
“Who’s gonna clean that up?”
“Mmm, me,” you straddle his thighs, the shirt of his you wear to bed rides up and you press your hands onto his waist. You lean down and lick the frosting up with your tongue, he sighs heavily beneath you as you lick some more.
When he’s finally clean, your fingers slip beneath the waistband of his boxers continuing your kisses to his half hard cock. You swipe your tongue over his shaft, circling it around his tip and he springs to life.
“Lovie…” he groans.
“Shh,” you hush glancing up at him. His chest is heaving as you take him in your mouth. He groans again, his fingers tangling in your hair but letting you move as you see fit.
You love pleasuring him this way and it’s been so long since you have. You bob up and down, your spit dribbling down his shaft. He moans with each pull of your mouth, his hips rising to meet your motions. You feel his thighs clench so you know he’s close.
“Y/N…baby…lovie,” he pulls you off him then drags you up to him. “Wanna make you come again.”
He pushes himself inside you and you let out a loud moan as you sink down onto him. You start to move but Luke grips the sides of your ass and fucks up into you. Your mouth falls open at the pace, his balls slap your ass and your toes start to curl.
You’re chanting ‘yes’ and his name, the words tumbling over one another and you’re coming again. With a small scream you feel Luke pull out as his release is expelled between you. You’re pulsating and his fingers twiddle with your clit so you’re still coming together.
When you’re both finished, your breathing is hard and you giggle when you open your eyes. His cheeks are a little pink and he has this glazed over expression on his face.
“I think we should go clean up, hm?” his fingers tickle your thigh and you tremble at his touch. You nod.
You used a washcloth to clean up leftover frosting and his orgasm. Luke kisses your neck and your shoulders before he moves to the large tub and turns the taps. When the tub is full of bubbles and the jets are on, he holds you in his arms. The records you bought playing softly in the background.
“This reminds me of when we first started dating,” you say playing with his fingers. “We couldn’t keep our hands off each other.”
“If I had my way I’d want to do this all the time with you,” he chuckles in your ear before nibbling on the lobe. “But we have other responsibilities.”
“We’ll be able to bring Oliver home soon, right?”
“Of course, we will. This is just temporary until he’s five pounds. You’re going to be able to breastfeed and he’ll gain that one pound so fast.” He kisses your temple next and you sit in silence for a while.
“Did you imagine any of this happening when you met me at the coffee shop?”
“No, but I wouldn’t want my life any other way. You’ve filled my life with so much adventure and love. I never pictured myself with three kids, but I couldn’t imagine my life without them, or you. Did you imagine our life like this?”
“No,” you smile against his arm and kiss it. “But it’s the best. I’m thankful Oliver has come along this far, and Posy is our rambunctious girl and Lily is starting to become her own person now. It’s all happening so fast but with you beside me…I don’t have enough words to describe it. You’re the love of my life.”
“And you’re the love of mine,” he collects you in his arms. “We’ll bring our boy home soon.”
**
On August first, you were told you could bring Oliver home. You couldn’t even believe it but when Oliver’s NICU team and Dr. Chambers and Dr. Wilson showed up with balloons and a farewell card you started to cry. You hugged and thanked them all from the bottom of your heart and promised to keep in touch.
Oliver would need frequent doctor visits until he was about three to check his prognosis but you were so happy to bring him home finally. Luke called everyone while you got Oliver settled in his carrier, you made sure to put his octopus next to him. You sat in back with him while Luke drove, you couldn’t stop looking at Oliver. He’s grown so much and he’s healthy and strong.
You notice all of the cars parked along the street and you’re welcomed with your family as you and Luke enter your home. There’s a banner above welcoming Oliver home finally. You appreciated them all keeping their distance and not overcrowding Oliver, but you were happy they were all there to welcome your sone home.
Lily and Posy couldn’t stop looking at him in his carrier while he slept and Posy kept bringing some toys to show him. Everyone stayed for another hour and then you had to feed Oliver. He squirmed and cried because you woke him but you were on a tight feeding schedule so he would stay on track. Lily and Posy watched curiously as you breastfed. Luke watched fondly and then he told the girls their lunch was ready.
All four of you stayed around Oliver until it was time for him to go to bed—then you’d be feeding him in a few hours. Posy and Lily snuggled with you and Luke on the couch as you all watched a movie, their giggles at the animations jokes filled your heart with joy. Luke reached over and took your hand so he could kiss it, mumbling an ‘I love you.’
You were finally a family of five, home and safe.
***
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spine-buster · 3 years
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The President Wears Prada (William Nylander) | Chapter 33
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A/N:  Hope you guys enjoy this one...⛪️
August 7th, 2020
Aberdeen Bloom was nervous as fuck.  
It was Game 4, less than 24 hours after giving up a 3-0 lead, and the Leafs were on the brink of elimination.  The boys were quiet.  Focused.  Only had one thing on their mind.  They didn’t want to leave the bubble.  They wanted to prove everybody wrong – everybody.  Their coaches.  Their bosses.  Their fans.  Their haters.  The media.  Themselves.  This was their opportunity to show everybody what they could do.  
Aberdeen couldn’t even think about it without trembling.  She never in a million years thought hockey would make her feel this way.  It didn’t help the love of her life was a major part of it.  And it didn’t help that Alec had texted her early this morning.
Looks like the boys might cost you a writing job if they get eliminated early.  Not many shenanigans to get up to in, what, ten days?  Article might be a bust.
I’ll have 10,000 words written for you as promised was what she texted back.  She didn’t want to stroke his ego, play along with his games, or have him think she wasn’t going to produce just because he thought they might leave early.  It didn’t matter to her.  Even if they did leave early, she could still do it.  She knew she could.  She knew she had to, because she couldn’t blow this opportunity.
They morning had been anxiety-ridden at best.  She hadn’t gotten a good night’s sleep, tossing and turning after getting off the phone with William, and then because of the text, she was barely eating breakfast.  Apparently, it was noticeable to the boys, because John had come over to her table and brought her a plate stacked fruit.  “If we can eat, you can eat,” he said as he set it in front of her.  Mitch ended up coming to sit across from her at the table, and John took the other seat.  William approached, standing six feet away, and Auston too.  They were congregating, which made her even more nervous.  
“Thanks,” she mumbled, forking a strawberry and putting it into her mouth reluctantly.  “You guys aren’t nervous?” she posed the question to all of them.
John shrugged.  “We know what we need to do.  We just have to go out there and do it.”
Aberdeen didn’t know how he could be so calm, as the captain of the team.  Then again, he was John fucking Tavares, and calm seemed to be his middle name.  She nodded her head.  “I don’t mean to be a nervous wreck.  I’m just not used to playoff hockey, as you can imagine.  This is all new.  I never knew I could feel this way about a sport.”
That made John laugh a bit.  “Not about a sport, but definitely about a book, right?”
She couldn’t help but smile slightly as she forked at a piece of watermelon.  “Definitely about a book.”
“How’s the article coming along?” William asked.
Aberdeen almost dropped her fork on her plate.  All the guys turned their heads towards him at the same time skeptically, then towards her at the same time, their eyebrows furrowed.  Her body felt like it was on fire.  She hadn’t told anybody about the article – except William, of course.  She assumed Brendan sort-of-kind-of knew since he set her up for it, but she hadn’t said anything to him.  William was the only one who knew.  Her cheeks flushed red.  
“What article?” Mitch asked, turning his head back and forth between the two of them once more.
“Yeah, what article?” Auston asked.
“It uh, it’s—um, it’s a thing for Toronto Life,” Aberdeen stuttered out.  
“Toronto Life?!” Mitch repeated excitedly.  
“Yeah,” she nodded slowly.  “Brendan uh, Brendan put me up for it.  It’s, like…an audition.  I don’t know.”
“An audition?  So like if it’s good they’ll publish it?” Mitch kept asking questions.
“Basically, yeah.”
“Well what’s it about?”
Aberdeen gulped.  “Um, life in the bubble.”
The boys looked taken aback for a brief moment.  She knew they were trying to hold back the emotion, but she could see it in their eyes.  She wondered if they were thinking the worst now.  She wondered if Auston was looking at her and thinking that all she wanted to do in this bubble was get a scoop like Steve Simmons.  She wondered if Mitch was looking at her and thinking that she was going to write some scathing article about how he was being paid $10.8 million to not show up in the playoffs, like most articles were saying.  She prepared for the worst, honestly.  She really did.  Because she knew these guys had been betrayed before.  She knew the media were constantly down their throats.  She knew all they wanted was a little reprieve from that.  And now, someone they knew, someone they worked with – someone they trusted completely – was writing something about life in the bubble?  When she was in the bubble with them?
“Life in the bubble, huh?  So, like how we play video games the entire day ‘cause we can’t do anything else in here?” Mitch asked.
Her stomach was in knots.  But that follow-up from Mitch was definitely not was she was expecting.  Truth be told, she didn’t know what she was expecting – anger, maybe?  Caution?  Suspicion? – but it definitely wasn’t Mitch saying that.  “Something like that,” she said.  “I’m trying to, like, capture how hard it is for you guys to be in here.  How hard it is to be away from your families.  How you guys are…you know, human, and not just hockey players.”
Mitch smiled.  “I think it’s gonna be a great article, then.”
“How’d William know?” Auston asked.  “How’d he know before any of us?”
William knew he had to think fast.  “I saw her writing it the other day when we went out to the gym,” he said.  He had approached her on the sidelines that day for a brief minute or two, during a break in his workout, so if anyone was paying attention and saw them, it was an entirely plausible scenario.  “She told me what she was writing.”
“Why didn’t you tell any of us?” Auston asked him.
“Because it was Aberdeen’s news to tell, not mine,” William said.
Auston looked towards Aberdeen.  “You’re not writing, like, gossip about us, are you?” he asked.
“Auston, what the fuck—” William began.
“Buddy—” Mitch intervened.
“Hey now—” John piped up.
“No no, it’s fine,” she waved the boys off, staring directly at Auston.  She knew exactly where Auston was coming from.  She knew he trusted her.  He admitted so during the phone call when his Covid-19 story became national news.  She knew she had to be one hundred percent honest with him if he was going to have no qualms or suspicions about this article.  “They want me to.  They want me to write about shenanigans.  The stereotypical stuff.  But I’m not.  I refuse to.  I wouldn’t…you guys know I wouldn’t do that to you.  And I mean…I—I haven’t told them yet that I refuse to pander to that shit, but they’ll know when they get my article.”
Auston’s entire demeanour softened at her words.  It was like his entire body relaxed.  He knew – he always knew – he just needed the affirmation.  But then he realized what that meant.  “But then what happens if you don’t get the job because you don’t give them what they want?” he asked.  
Aberdeen shrugged.  “Then I have keep looking for writing jobs at other magazines.”
Then and there, he realized what was on the line for Aberdeen.
***
As Aberdeen wallowed in her room, she was nervous.  As she showered before the game, she was nervous.  As she did her hair, she was nervous.  As she got dressed, she was nervous.  As she opened her door and walked out into the hallway, meeting some of the guys, she was nervous.  When she got off the bus and the team went one way while she, Brendan, and Kyle went another, she clutched at her iPad pro.  She looked at the boys one last time, catching Willy’s eye, before the disappeared down the hallway, where no doubt a photographer was waiting to get pictures of their outfits before they went into the locker room.
As she sat in the box with Brendan and Kyle, as always, she saw Brendan look her way.  “Don’t even think about asking me how it’s gonna go tonight,” she said before he could even open his mouth.  
He held his hands up in front of him.  “Excuuuuuuse me.”
“I’m so nervous.  I barely ate today,” she elaborated.
“Somebody get Aberdeen a Coca Cola,” he called out to no-one in particular.  “She’s gonna need the sugar and the caffeine or else she’ll crash by the third period.”
She couldn’t believe how light-hearted he was being.  She didn’t know if it was some type of coping mechanism or if it was because he was generally in a good mood.  “How can you be so…calm?  Such a jokester?”
Brendan shrugged.  “If I was doom and gloom all the time, I wouldn’t still be president.”
***
Aberdeen was on the verge of tears.  
Cam Atkinson had scored in the first period.  Vladislav Gavrikov scored in the second period.  Her heart was heavy.  Her stomach was in knots.  And now, the impossible: she was watching Jason Spezza fighting.  The last person who should be fighting.  A part of her understood what he was doing, somewhat – trying to fire up the guys – but the other part of her kept asking why the fuck does he have to do this?  Where the fuck are they?  Why aren’t they playing?  WHY AREN’T THEY PLAYING?!
“I can’t believe they’re fucking doing this to him,” she mumbled under her breath through gritted teeth as she watched Jason skate off the ice.  Her knuckles were white for how tightly her hands were in fists in front of her mask.  Her leg was bouncing uncontrollably.  She couldn’t believe what was happening.
“What was that?” Brendan asked, apparently hearing her, his own voice indiscernible but also just…void of any emotion.  
She glanced at him quickly before shaking her head.  “Nothing.”  She looked over at Kyle.  She couldn’t tell what he was feeling, either.  What was it with these men and being so stoic?  
She pressed the palms of her hands together and intertwined her fingers.  “God, if you love me…” she began, mumbling into her hands.  “If you love me, God, don’t let them go out like this.  Not.  Like.  This.”
***
Boone Jenner scored in the third period.  It was 3-0.  This was it.  
Aberdeen had to come to terms with the fact that they were leaving early.  She had to come to terms with the fact that the boys would lose, again.  They’d be out of the bubble.  She knew that was probably a silver lining, but these guys so desperately just wanted to play hockey and play hockey and win, and for them to crash out like this was just going to be the worst.  They’d never hear the end of it.  Bee McTavish told her about last year, about how they lost to the Boston Bruins in Game 7 and how hard it was on the boys, particularly Morgan, and how awful the media was to them, and Aberdeen didn’t want to think about what the media would say now.  She didn’t want to think about what they’d say about Fred.  About Mitch.  About Morgan.  About John.
About William.  
But just as Aberdeen came out of her thoughts, she noticed something weird on the ice.  It wasn’t the regular line out there.  Sheldon was doing something different.  It was…well, it seemed to be the nuclear option.  All the top goal scorers were on the ice.  William, Mitch, Zach, Auston, and John.  Hustling all over the ice.  Passing the puck.  Shooting at the net.
And then, with just less than four minutes left, William scored.
Aberdeen jumped out of her seat and screamed.  The boys celebrated briefly, but they knew more work needed to be done.  She looked over at Brendan, who wasn’t blinking as he looked down at the ice.  She looked at Kyle, who wasn’t blinking either.  
“Please God…please…” she whispered to herself.
Sheldon kept out the nuclear option.  They were young.  They could do it.  
John Tavares scored only forty seconds later.  
“Holy fucking shit,” Aberdeen stood up from her seat, saying her words loud enough for Brendan and Kyle to hear.  “Holy fucking shit.  Holy fucking shit.”  
She barely breathed a single breath for the next two and a half minutes.  She was standing with her hands over her mouth over her mask and her body was completely still as she watched every move on the ice like a hawk.
William, to Auston, to Zach, who scored to tie it at 3-3.
“HOLY FUCKING SHIT!!!!!” she screamed as the boys really celebrated on the ice now.  She banged her fists on the counter in front of her as she watched Zach jump on top of William as all the boys on the ice huddled together excitedly.  She swore she heard some happy swears from Kyle, and she definitely heard some happy swears from the extra players who were sitting in the seats right below them where the seat covers ended.  She barely remembered the period ending.  
“They’re gonna fucking do it,” she said to no-one in particular.  “They’re gonna fucking do it.  They’re gonna make a comeback.”
Everything was a blur as Aberdeen sat back down into her seat.  The overtime period.  The lines.  The minutes.  She felt like she was in the twilight zone – some alternate universe where time stood still and nothing else mattered besides hockey.  Not even just hockey – nothing else mattered besides this game and what was happening right here, right now.  Seven minutes into overtime, Morgan drew a tripping penalty.  An enraged Nick Foligno was sent to the penalty box.  The puck dropped.  It was passed.  Marner to Tavares.  Tavares to Matthews.
Auston let it rip and scored.
“WHAT!!!!!  WHAT!!!!!” Aberdeen screamed louder than she ever had in her life as she jumped up from her seat like a rocket and threw the pen she was holding out into the stands.  She began pumping her fist in front of her and pointing out onto the ice.  “THAT’S WHAT I’M TALKING ABOUT, BABY!  THAT’S WHAT I’M TALKING ABOUT!” she shrieked, her jaw somewhere between her face and the floor but her smile taking up her entire face.  Then came the excited, can’t-believe-what-I-just-witnessed high pitched uncontrollable laughs.  She looked over to Brendan and Kyle.  They were stoic.  She liked to believe they already freaked out and she missed it.
“Down 3-0 in the third period!” she screamed at them.  “Down 3-0 in the third period!  Can you believe it?!”
“What are you doing waiting up here?  Go down there,” Brendan said, nodding his head towards the exit.  
Aberdeen bolted out of the box and rushed towards the locker room as quickly as her feet could take her.  Once she got there, she saw the boys filing in, screaming ‘Woooo!’s and ‘Let’s fucking go, baby!’s.  William entered the locker room first.  He noticed her standing in the room almost immediately and rushed over to her.
She held her breath.  
He picked her up and spun her around, causing her to squeal until he set her down.  He was wet and sweaty and she could see the droplets of sweat dripping down his face but God if he didn’t look incredible and like the perfect human specimen.  “Let’s gooooo!” he screamed once he set her down.
“Let’s gooooo!” she repeated, noticing more of the boys make their way in.  Clifford.  Spezza.  Kerfoot.  Barrie.  Kasperi.  Hyman.  Engvall.  Rielly.  Tavares.  Holl.  Dermott.  Everybody.  Everybody.  They all came in screaming and did the exact same thing that William did, lifting her up and spinning her around excitedly as they continued to scream and go their stalls and start stripping in front of her.  They probably weren’t allowed to do that – they definitely weren’t allowed to do that, be that close together – but it didn’t matter right now.  Nobody cared.
“You guys gave me a fucking heart attack!” she yelled at them, clutching her heart as she looked around the room at all of them.  She saw a couple of them giggling as they undid their hockey tape and threw it into the garbage.
“Wouldn’t have been a Leafs series without one!” Morgan joked.
Sheldon walked into the room and high-fived Aberdeen.  Then Auston walked in and the boys started screaming and yelling all over again.  “Let’s fucking goooo, Aberdeen!” he screamed as he picked her up too, one last twirl, before setting her down.  “Let’s fucking go, baby!” he screamed to everyone in the room.
It was at that point that Brendan and Kyle walked into the room.  Aberdeen composed herself as much as possible as she faded into the background, watching Sheldon give his post-game speech.  Everybody looked so happy.  So excited.
They could fucking do this.
***
Aberdeen was typing like a furious mad woman in the Notes on her phone.  She wanted to write – needed to write all the authentic feelings that were in the air right now as she waited on the bus for everyone.  She needed to remember this moment.  Every single detail of it.  What was said.  What was heard.  The smiles.  The spins.  How she was still dizzy.  
“Hey Aberdeen!  You made it on to TV!” Mitch yelled from the middle of the bus.
Everyone’s head popped up, and she watched as all the guys already on the bus took off their headphones.  “What?!” she shrieked.
“They caught you celebrating in the box!” he said, turning his phone and showing her the video.
Aberdeen heard all of the boys get up out of their seats and crowd behind her to watch the video.  She noticed the Sportsnet logo on the bottom of screen first and foremost, then listened as she heard the announcers describing the scene, which they replayed in slow fucking motion.  “I think that young lady is indicative of most of Leafs Nation right now!” she heard Jim Hughson’s voice as the video showed her jumping up from her seat and throwing her pen.  The boys behind her were howling as they watched, and when she began pumping her fist in front of her, they laughed some more.  Slightly embarrassed, Aberdeen buried her head in her hands and shook her head.  “It’s always me!  Why is it always me that gets caught doing these things?!”
“The camera loves you, Aberdeen!” Mitch giggled.  
“It happens to all the wives and girlfriends at some point,” Morgan said as most of the guys went back to their seats on the bus.  
“But I’m not a wife.  Or a girlfriend!”
She could tell Morgan was smiling behind his mask.  “Not yet,” he mumbled to himself, shrugging.
Aberdeen turned red.  She sat back down in her seat and continued typing away on her phone furiously, making sure nobody saw her skin hue.
***
It was only when everybody got back to the hotel when Aberdeen had to stop typing, but by then, she was sure she’d gotten every feeling.  Everybody was still buzzed as they rode two at a time in the elevator up to their floor, and she could still feel the energy even when she was bottled up in her room – like everybody else – and it was eerily silent after just having been so loud.
She had just finished changing into her pajamas when she heard her phone buzz.  She knew it was William texting, so she grabbed her phone immediately, ready for his request to FaceTime.
open ur door really slowly so it doesn’t make any noise
Her eyes bulged out of her head.  She set her phone down and rushed over to her door, not bothering to look out the peephole, but doing exactly what she was told.  She opened it slowly, carefully, making sure not to make a peep.  She looked out into the hallway, down to the other wing, and saw William’s head popping out of his own room.  He rushed out, closing the door quietly before rushing over to her wing.
“William,” she whispered.  Her heart was beating out of her chest.  He was not allowed to do this.  He was not allowed to do this.  She watched as he made his way over.  “William what are you—”
She was silenced by his slipping past her and into her room, putting his hand over hers to shut the door slowly so it didn’t make a clicking sound.  When it was closed, she tried one more time.  “Willy—”
Her attempt was futile.  He crashed his lips against hers, wrapping his arms around her as he squeezed her against his body, so much so that he could lift her up in his arms and she could wrap her legs around his torso.  He stuck his tongue down her throat.  She moaned out at the sensation before realizing that he was walking them into her bathroom – her bathroom that faced the open area in front of the elevators, and not facing or sharing a wall with her room neighbour.  He kicked the door closed with his foot before setting her down on the marble vanity sink, her legs still wrapped around his body keeping him close.
“Take this off,” he mumbled as he tugged violently at her pajama shirt, almost ripping it as she shoved her off her body and threw it across the bathroom.  She pulled on his t-shirt too, throwing it in the same direction as they crashed their lips against each other’s again.  
“We’re not supposed to be doing this,” she whispered out after he bit down on her bottom lip and pulled it away from her.  “You’re not supposed to be in my room.  We’re breaking the rules.”
“Isn’t that half the fun?” he quipped, a small smirk on his face.  Aberdeen could feel her body get hot – hotter than it already was.  This was so wrong.  So wrong.  He wasn’t supposed to be in her room.  They weren’t supposed to be touching.  They weren’t supposed to be kissing.  They weren’t supposed to be doing any of it, yet here Aberdeen was, her body heating up and her core getting even hotter.  She scratched her nails down William’s broad and toned chest as he kissed a trail down her neck and to her breasts, sucking and biting down at her nipples gently, causing her to gasp out.
He immediately put his hand over her mouth.  Her eyes went wide.  He looked up at her from where he was at her breasts.  “You can’t be too loud or else we’ll get caught.”
Oh my fucking God.  Now she really felt her body light up like a fire.  She whimpered slightly.  “But Willy—” she tried to mumble against his hand.
“Shhhh…” he cooed.  “Can you be quiet, Aberdeen?  Can you be quiet while I fuck you?”  He was waiting for an answer.  She felt a shiver run up her spine.  She nodded her head.  “That’s my girl.”
William continued paying attention to her breasts before kissing his way back up to her lips and sticking his tongue down her throat again.  Aberdeen ran her fingers through his hair and tugged on it slightly before scratching down his back and pulling down his trackpants and underwear.  He did the same to her, letting his fingers play with the wet folds of her pussy until he heard whimpers from her again.  “Quiiiiiet, Aberdeen,” he cooed once more, bringing his hand that was just playing with her pussy up to her lips.  
She grabbed his hand in both her hands and sucked his fingers into her mouth.  “I’m not going to be able to,” she whispered, shaking her head.  
William pulled her off the marble vanity, grabbing her hips and spinning her around so her back was against his chest.  They were able to see each other through the mirror.  Aberdeen watched as William’s hand snaked around her body and down to her hot core again.  “You’re going to have to be quiet or we’ll get caught,” he whispered huskily in her ear as he played with her core again.  Her legs were shaking at the feeling.  She gripped on to the vanity.  
“Fuck me raw, Willy,” she begged.  She had her own tricks up her sleeve.  If William was going to play this game, she was going to play hers.  She watched his reaction in the mirror and could see his pupils dilate.  “I started birth control.  It’s okay.”
“You what?”
“I started birth control a month ago.  It was supposed to be a surprise but—”
“—Aberdeen—”
“—Please Willy,” she begged, her voice breathless.  She could feel his hard cock against her body and was so desperate for it, she didn’t care how wrong this was.  “Fuck me raw.  Fuck.  Me.  Raw.”
He bent her over the vanity.  She stuck her ass out and kept her eyes on him through the mirror, watching as he positioned himself at her entrance, sliding into her easily.  She cried out at the sensation, feeling his hand almost automatically cover her mouth to silence her.  When he began moving in and out of her, the sound of their flesh smacking together, she didn’t know if she should close her eyes to revel in the feeling of his slick, hard cock filling her up, or if she should keep her eyes open to watch him fucking her hard and fast through the mirror.  She chose the latter.  She and William had had many sexual escapades before (sexcapades, if you will), but nothing had been as hot or as raw or as dangerous as this was.  The exhilaration of doing a completely banned act – banned since they figured out they were working together, even more so banned now – was giving her the ultimate rush.  
His hand was still over her mouth as she arched her back and William pulled her back against his chest.  She could feel herself getting close, and when William’s other hand snaked around once more to play with her clit, she tried to cry out but couldn’t.  “Are you gonna be quiet when I make you cum?”
She shook her head.  “I won’t.  I can’t.”
He thrusted into her harder, trying to make a point.  She whimpered again and his hand somehow tightened around her mouth.  “Are you gonna be quiet?” he asked again.  She looked at him through the mirror, seeing the absolute fire in his eyes.  She knew what he was looking for.  She knew he would tease her and tease her and tease her until she agreed to what he was asking.  She nodded slowly.  He smiled.  “Good.”
He quickened his pace, harder and faster and rougher than before, and Aberdeen continued to watch them fucking through the mirror until she could feel closer and closer to her sweet release.  Eventually, her legs began to shake, and she could feel an intense orgasm rush through every single inch of her body.  She tried to stay as quiet as possible, but the feeling was too much, and her whimpers escaped her, though they were much quieter than the usual vocal performances she usually gave when she and William had sex, and though William still had his hand over her mouth.  At the sound of her stifled whimpers she could feel William’s hot cum spill inside her.  The feeling was hot and raw and simultaneously everything she imagined it would be and feel like but also completely new and unlike anything she could have ever expected.  His own small grunts escaped his mouth as he felt himself empty inside of her, revelling in the feeling of filling her completely.  He eventually let go of her mouth, and her body bent over against the marble vanity again, unable to stand up straight due to the long, intense orgasm.  He tried to catch his breath as he continued to watch her body shake, the last of her orgasm rushing through her.  He could see her chest rising and falling from her trying to catch her breath.
It was a few minutes before Aberdeen and William could regain their breaths.  He slipped out of her slowly, and she whimpered again at the loss of him, still bent over the vanity, though she could still feel a slickness between her thighs.  She felt his body bend too, his chest on her back, and felt him kiss her shoulders delicately.  She craned her neck to get a look at him.  “I better get a writing job soon.  I don’t think we’re gonna be able to hold it back for much longer,” she whispered.
William giggled – a low, rumbly giggle from his chest as he smiled and continued placing kisses on her shoulder.  “I agree,” he whispered back.  “We gotta make sure you get that Toronto Life job.”
She bit her lip.  “Did it feel good for you?”
He nodded.  “Of course.  What about for you?  Did it feel different?”
“It felt fucking amazing,” she nodded.  “It…it did feel different.  I…you’re the first one I’ve ever let fuck me raw,” she admitted.
William nodded in understanding.  He knew what she was really saying – that this was, at least physically, the ultimate form of trust, and he was the only one in her life, ever, who she trusted that much.  “We can keep doing whatever you’re more comfortable with,” he said.
“I liked this.  I don’t know if I’ll be able to go back,” she giggled slightly.  
William smiled.  He pulled her back upright and, at that point, she could stand on her own again.  She spun around so she was facing him and wrapped her arms around his shoulders, pulling him down to kiss him.  They stood in her bathroom kissing for a while until William pulled away slightly.  “I love you so much,” he mumbled.
“I love you too.”
“Sorry I made you break the rules…yet again,” he smiled mischievously.  
Aberdeen winked.  “Isn’t that half the fun?”
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wellbafineline · 4 years
Text
All through Rome
a.n. hiiii lovely people, this is my entry for willa @bopbopstyles​​ and havens @harrysclementines​​ bi!reader ficathon, my prompt was flipping through magazines with harry talking about cute girls, and i turned it into gucci shoot Italyrry so enjoyyy!! (and again this title doesn't really have anything to do w the actual fic but it was called gucci italy magazine in my google docs so this one is slightly better)
This is also sort of shorter i had major writers block of what direction i wanted to go w this fic but hope u like it regadless <3
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It had been a last minute decision for you to join harry on his latest gucci endeavour, he was shooting for Gucci in Rome and originally you were more than happy to stay home in London, but after half a bottle of wine each and Harry trying to convince you in other ways, you were more than happy to take the week off of work to go with him on his trip. 
•··° • ·*  · · ★ . ✦   * *  .    
   It was late when the two of you arrived at the house where you’d be spending your week in Rome and Harry had suggested that you go walk around to find the nearest supermarket, both to get snacks for the house and for some late dinner, complaining that he was starving after only eating before you left for the airport. 
After around 20 minutes of weaving through the small side streets near your house with Harry swinging your hands dramatically between the two of you he noticed a small 24 hour supermarket. Leading you towards the shop and grabbing a small basket on the way inside he headed straight for the alse in the middle of the shop where all of the junk food was.
These were the moments you cherished most with Harry, when he wasn't under any obligation to be Harry Styles, he was just Harry who was squinting under the fluorescent lights of the supermarket trying to decide between salt and vinegar or plain crisps. There had been men and women for both of you before you found eachother but you couldn't help but appreciate what the two of you had built when you thought about past relationships. They weren’t bad per se but  compared to what you had with Harry they were nowhere near comparable to the pure love and admiration you had for each other. 
‘Earth to (y/n)’ Harry said waving his free hand in front of your face ‘Chocolate or haribo?’  ‘Both?’ you answered, picking up two bags of Haribo and putting them into his basket ‘God, I love you.’ he chuckled. Taking your hand again and making his way to the front of the shop where the till was, but not before you saw him ‘sneakily’ putting two bottles of wine in the basket when he thought you were distracted by the different italian sweets. 
•··° • ·*  · · ★ . ✦   * *  .    
   You had been sitting on the outskirts all day, deciding to take a step back and let Harry work. You’d spent your day in the tent off to the side with Harry Lambert, Harry’s stylist, as soon as you two had arrived on the set he'd whisked Harry away and later found you hanging around the refreshments tent commenting that this was exactly where Harry said you’d be.
As you were observing both Harry and the small group of other models that were also working on the campaign, particularly noticing how pretty some of the models that were wearing the dresses were. You knew it was harmless infatuation, both you and Harry were secure enough in your relationship where it didn't bother you at all if the other pointed out people who they thought were attractive. But that didn't stop Lambert who had joined you in the refreshments tent out of the fuss of the shoot from noticing and teasing you for the rest of the day about it. 
•··° • ·*  · · ★ . ✦   * *  .       
Harry's final pictures had been sent back to him on the last day of your work trip turned Italy vacation. The two of you were fresh from the shower, with Harry using his favorite excuse of ‘saving water’ to convince you to let him join you, after spending the day wandering around Rome and all of the small boutiques near the house Harry had rented for the trip. You were both lying on the bed him laying flat against the headboard and you’d plopped yourself half on top of his chest half on the bed as you reached for the iPad to look through the pictures Harry had been emailed. 
‘Like this one best I think’ You pointed to the photo where Harry was facing sideways and the model was posing in front of one of the trees at the shoot in one of the gorgeous dresses.
‘M’ face is barely in that one’ He faked offence pushing your shoulder lightly away from where it was resting against his side. 
‘Yeah, that's sorta the point’ You moved back to your previous position, which was basically lying on top of him but neither or you were complaining, this was actually one of Harrys favourite ways to cuddle together, feeling very content when he couldn’t really feel his left arm because it had been wrapped around you while you cuddled or took a nap together. 
‘Y’ just think she's fit, could tell when we were at the shoot’ 
‘Think you're fit too’
‘HA!, didn't deny it, knew it Lambert told me you were ogling’
‘Wasn't ‘ogling’ you laugh and put the word in air quotes while sitting up to face him to defend yourself. It was quiet for a few moments while you were flicking through a couple of the remaining photos on the iPad. 
‘What about him?’ You questioned as you pointed to the new photo on the screen of one of the other models who was wearing of one of the eccentric Gucci suits. 
‘What about him?’ Harry was faking an innocence now, he knew what you were trying to ask but obviously got great amusement of making you say it aloud. 
‘Opinions, yes no maybe?’
‘Yeah, he’s fit, nice eyes, like his cheek bones’
‘Alright y’ made your point’ 
‘Oooh so she can give it and can't take it’ He laughed, poking your cheek a little, knowing it annoyed you.
You started to flick through again, when you came to the end of the pictures, placing the iPad down on the bed and turning in your position on the bed so you're lying face to face. 
‘Think you're the fittest out of all of them.’
‘Glad to hear it love,’ as he rolls over so you're underneath him ‘think you're the most gorgeous’ kiss ‘pretty’ kiss ‘breathtaking’ kiss. You’re reduced to a fit of laughter underneath him both from his compliments and the tickling of his moustache against your neck. 
‘Love you the most.’ You tell him bringing his face out of your neck with both your palms pressed to his cheeks and kissing the tip of his nose, making him the one giggling now. ‘Love you too baby, now ‘ave got one last day don’t want to waste it in bed do y’’ he said as he hauled himself up and towards the closet across the room and threw some jean shorts and one of his t-shirts at you ‘want some of that pizza we had the other night.’
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kingstylesdaily · 3 years
Text
Stevie Nicks Answers All Our Questions About Harry Styles
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Of all the disciples to worship at the altar of Stevie Nicks, none have managed to capture the attention of rock’s reigning priestess quite like Harry Styles.
The 26-year-old rocker (who this week received three Grammy nominations) is the Gucci-clad poster boy carrying the torch for a bygone era of music history that the Fleetwood Mac frontwoman helped crystallize. Styles recently cited the group’s 1977 (and still charting) classic “Dreams” as one of the first songs he learned the words to growing up. Their friendship began in 2015 after the former One Direction member presented his idol with a hand-piped birthday cake after a Fleetwood Mac gig in London. (“Glad she liked carrot cake,” he later said.) The years since have seen the duo’s mutual affection blossom into one of pop culture’s most cherished bondings.
Last year, when Styles inducted Nicks into the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame, he proclaimed the 72-year-old “everything you’ve ever wanted in a lady, a lover, in a friend.” Nicks has gushed about him in interviews as everything from “the son she never had” to her “love child” with bandmate Mick Fleetwood. Styles earned her official seal of approval after covering “The Chain” every night of his first solo tour in support of a record that sounds closer to Crosby, Stills & Nash than anything he released under his prior band.
“Harry could’ve lost a lot of fans, but he didn’t,” Nicks recently told Vogue over the phone. “I’m so proud of him because he took a risk and didn’t go the One Direction route. He loves One Direction, I love One Direction, and a gazillion other people do too, but Harry didn’t wanna go the pop route. He wanted straight-up rock and roll circa 1975.”  
Nicks has been embracing some of the busiest years of her dual careers as both Fleetwood Mac frontwoman and solo sorceress—and doing so amid a global pandemic. Since she last performed with Styles at the Forum for his Fine Line release show in December, she’s released a 24 Karat Gold concert film and “Show Them the Way,” her politically minded single and first piece of original music in six years. After Miley Cyrus asked for Nicks’s blessing before releasing her “Edge of Seventeen”–tinged “Midnight Sky,” the two joined forces for an exhilarating new mash-up titled “Edge of Midnight.”
In honor of Styles making history as the magazine’s first solo cover boy, Nicks caught up with Vogue to answer all our questions about their cosmic connection. Currently beachside with her quarantine bubble in Hawaii, she’s been doing what one would expect Stevie Nicks to be up to during a pandemic: writing new music, dancing around her house to “Watermelon Sugar,” and “casting little spells.” As befitting rock’s foremost storyteller, our intended 30-minute chat turned into a two-hour confessional about her love of Styles, working with Cyrus for the first time, joining Fleetwood Mac, the president-elect Joe Biden, the Met Gala, betta fish funerals, and much more.
ksd note: edited to only include Q&A about Stevie and Harry!
Did you get a chance to look through Harry’s cover story yet?  
Right before I called you, I sat here and looked at all the pictures on my new iPad. What can I say? That’s my Harry. I think the thing that’s most wonderful about him—and I’ve told him this, and sometimes I think he takes it the wrong way—is that he’s such a kooky guy. He’s the type of person you’d wanna live next door to. He’d look out the window, see you having a hard time planting flowers, and rush out asking, “Can I help you with those roses?” “Sure, but you are Harry Styles, right?” That’s who he is.
I really only know him to a certain extent, but I have gotten to experience some big moments in his life, like when he released his first solo record at the Troubadour. I always think of Tom Petty saying, “So, you wanna be a rock star or you wanna be a pop star?” It’s two completely different things, and he really could have gone pop like his friend Zayn [Malik]. I was sorry that Zayn didn’t keep going more because I thought he was really good. But he took the pop route, which I think was right for him. Harry could’ve lost a lot of fans doing rock and roll, but he didn’t. Harry did a long tour with that first record and said, “I’m a different person now. I have a full-on rock band, and this is what I’m gonna do.” With many of my records, I’ll stuff down peoples’ throats until they like it, and that’s exactly what he did. Then he went away and wrote Fine Line, one of my favorite records.
What were your immediate thoughts listening to Fine Line for the first time?
Me and four of my friends sat with Harry in his living room  in London and listened to it a few times before it came out. But it wasn’t really Fine Line yet. The first time we listened to it, nobody really said anything. The second time everyone started to go, “I think this song is great, but it should be second in the sequence.” By the third listen, it was five girls screaming, “Well, Harry really now, I think you need to take these four that are called Harry Songs and do this and that—” while he’s sinking in his reclining chair thinking, Are these women ever gonna leave? Thanks for your opinions, but oh, my God, stop already.  
What changed when you heard the record in it’s finished form?
This record means a lot to me. When it was all put together, I listened and said, “Oh, my god, the Beatles live.” A whole lot of people live in these songs. Fleetwood Mac lives there. I live there. When I listen to “Fine Line,” I hear melodies that would’ve worked on “A Day in the Life. “It has that same kind of complexity. I think the Beatles would’ve thought, Here we’ve influenced a young man who took some incredible things from us and made them his own years and years later.
Earlier this year you posted a message saying that Fine Line is Harry’s Rumours. Can you elaborate on what you meant by that?
When Harry asked me to do “Landslide” with him at the Forum, I asked why, and he said, “Because I want you to be there. You were there for my first night at the Troubadour for the first record.” That night I wrote him a letter that said, “This is your Rumours so you have to really respect it and adore it because these kinds of records sometimes don’t ever come again.” Fleetwood Mac went on to make many great records, but people would bet their life on the fact that Rumours was the one. And this might just be the one for Harry. We were all kind of the same age when we made Rumours. I was 28, and Lindsey [Buckingham] was 27. I actually don’t even know how old Harry is—he’s that timeless to me.
Do you have a personal favorite of his songs?
Every one represents a different thing to me. “Sunflower” is such a great little song. He loves to do crazy videos, and one time I called him and said, “I have an idea. You’re gonna be a bee, and the sunflower would be your girlfriend, and you guys would get married and live in a beehive with your little bee children. You’d sing the lyrics ‘kiss in the kitchen like it’s a dance floor duh duh duh’ and show this entire bee relationship.” 
What did he think of that pitch?
When I finished, the other end of the phone was silent. I said, “No, really, think about it. It’ll be fantastical like a Francis Ford Coppola movie.” He’s like, “Yeah, okay...” [laughs]. I also love the “Adore You” video with the little fish because I have my own special relationships with fish.
In what sense?
I always have two beta fish, but they have to be separated otherwise they’ll kill each other. I stick my finger into their aquarium, and the blue one will swim around my hand like a little dolphin. When my fish get old and suddenly die, I have funerals for them in my backyard where I play Celine Dion. I have them filmed, and everything [laughs]. It’s too much, but I thankfully haven’t had any recent fish deaths. I haven’t even been able to sit down and show Harry the videos of my little fish, so when I saw the “Adore You” video, I couldn’t believe it.
Why is it important for you to foster these relationships with younger artists like Harry who’ve been so openly influenced by you?
I’m inspired by them. I’m inspired that Miley wants to make music with me. I’m inspired that the Haim girls are my biggest fans—and I theirs. A lot of these kids are making the amazing records I’ve been waiting for them to make. I’m not like other 72-year-olds. I listen to current music because I want to be current. When people find out how old I am versus the music I’m listening to, they think it doesn’t gel at all. I’ve been collecting musical knowledge since I was in the fourth grade listening to the singles my grandfather used to bring home. I listened to Buddy Holly and the Everly Brothers until the sixth grade when R&B radio became Top 40. I said goodbye country and hello R&B, so it’s not like I’m ever stuck on one thing. What I love about Harry is that he’s very old school but still modern. And that’s kinda like me.
You both also transitioned from massive groups to equally massive solo careers rather seamlessly.
When I decided I wanted to be a solo artist, I’d only been in Fleetwood Mac for a few years. I tried to figure out a way to do it gracefully because I didn’t wanna break up the band. I just wanted to sit at my piano and write poetry. After we did a record and a really long tour, the band scurried off to different parts of the world while I’d just be home writing songs for a year and a half. What did they care what I did while they were all on vacation? I’ve always said all the way through these two careers I’ve had: If you’re in a band first, never break it up.
Do you think One Direction would ever reunite?
I think it’s a good idea. For all we know, One Direction is completely broken up forever. But I think those guys are friends, and five or ten years down the road, they could all go, “You know what, wouldn’t it be really fun to do a One Direction tour?” Because that’s what people do. I wouldn’t be surprised if they did reunite at some point just because they can. And because it would just be fun. Harry is the kind of person who would never stomp on that idea. He would never say, [imitates posh English accent] “Never! I would never do that again!” Because why not just keep the door open?
Was there any particular detail or passage in Harry’s cover story that stuck out to you?
According to this article, he can get in a car with his friend to drive all over Europe then drive back by himself. I stopped driving in 1978 because my driver’s license expired and I’d already made a lot of money. I very smartly thought, “You know what, if someone even hits you and it’s not even your fault but you’re a little drunk, you are done. You’re finished, and the fortune that you’ve made is gone, so why should you drive anyway?” By then me and Christine were very cloistered, but Harry’s able to live a freer life because he’s a guy. He’s like Mick. He has a free life.
Would you say that you don’t?
I’m only comparing us in the way that Harry goes off to the Bahamas to work on songs, then flies back to L.A., then London, then Italy—I can’t do that. I can’t do that by myself. He’s able to do whatever he wants by himself, and it’s a whole different way of life. Being that Harry is a guy, he’s able to be a loner more than I am. As a woman, I’m not free to do all that. Even when I was his age, I couldn’t just get off anywhere I wanted. When we were on the road, Christine and I didn’t have a clue in the world what the boys did. We went to our rooms with security guys standing outside. It’s not like we ever escaped to go club-hopping in downtown Manhattan. We never got to live that life, so freedom as Harry knows it is very different than it’s been for me.
Did you ever have any figure in your life who provided some sense of mentorship the way you have to artists like Harry?
I didn’t really have anyone. If I had any guiding force at all, it probably would’ve been Christine McVie because she was five years older than me. And five years is five years, you know? Chris was friends with Eric Clapton and knew all the famous musicians in London. She’d married John [McVie] and done a bunch of records with Fleetwood Mac before I came along, so she’d been in the music business for a long time. I was breaking up with Lindsey when she was breaking up with John. She was my therapist and my go-to person for just about everything. We had each other to get through that really difficult situation where no one was gonna quit the band. Christine and I kept the whole thing together by telling the three men, “You quit because we’re not stopping” Thank God I had her, but on the other side of that, thank God she had me. We really were a force of nature.
** I’m curious to what extent fashion plays a role in your and Harry’s relationship. Have you** gifted him any accessories that were significant to you?
I actually gave him a ring at the Forum thing. It’s very masculine and has a pink stone in it. I told him it was a pink diamond, but it really isn’t. It would’ve cost $5 million. It was mine, and I really loved it, but I thought, This should be for Harry. You can see it on his hands in the “Falling” video where he’s playing the piano. If Harry and I were in a band together, we’d be trading all kinds of crazy stuff.
What are your thoughts on him being the first solo male cover in Vogue’s history?
It makes me feel so inspired. I’m extremely jealous he’s on the cover of Vogue because I’m 72 years old and have wanted to be on the cover my whole life. I’m such a magazine hag, so I’m incredibly jealous of Harry, but I’ll get over it. As far as all the crazy things he’s wearing, you do whatever you have to do to be on the cover of Vogue. I’m very proud of him, and I think it’s great that there’s a man on the cover…but I should’ve been in the corner off in the distance [laughs]. Did you know I’ve never been to the Met Gala?
We would be honored to have you at the next gala and every one after that. I’m putting this in the article to make sure it’s in the public record.
As Mick Jagger says, “We still have our freedom, but we don’t have much time.” I would like to be not much older than I am now so I can wear a fantastic outfit and entertain everybody. It’s a dream of mine, and most of my dreams have come true, but I need to not be 90 when it happens.
Harry and you could perform together.
We wouldn’t even have to rehearse. We’ve got a couple of duets that are really great. We do “Landslide” and “Two Ghosts” together really well. We actually have five or six terrific acoustic numbers that we could do at the drop of a hat.
You hinted earlier this year that there might be a role for Harry in the miniseries based on the stories of Rhiannon. Is there any update there?
This is probably the third-biggest thing I’ve ever done in my life after Fleetwood Mac and my solo career. There’s a lot to be done in the movie business before I can start riding my horses across the mountains of Wales. I’ve signed with a movie company—I’m not gonna tell you who—and we just signed a writer. I’m not gonna tell you who that is either, but there’s an amazing part for Harry. My favorite character in the series is the only man who goes through all four books. He’s a magician who doesn’t wanna be king, and I think Harry would just be so perfect.
Have you and Harry discussed collaborating on any future music together?
We’re open to making music together because we’ve been very successful when we go onstage just to do one song. I would love to be in a band with Harry, but even if I never saw him in person again, he’s made a record that breaks my heart in a million places like Fine Line. As far as music goes, there’s plenty of fun things that he and I could do. We can just reach out to each other and do it. I’m always ready to slip back into those high-heel black suede boots and become my alter ego.
via Vogue.com
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hlupdate · 3 years
Link
Of all the disciples to worship at the altar of Stevie Nicks, none have managed to capture the attention of rock's reigning priestess quite like Harry Styles.
The 26-year old rocker (who this week received three Grammy nominations) is the Gucci-clad poster-boy carrying the torch for a bygone era of music history that the Fleetwood Mac front-woman helped crystallize. Styles recently cited the group's 1977 (and still charting) classic “Dreams” as one of the first songs he learned the words to growing up. Their friendship began in 2015 after the former One Direction member presented his idol with a hand-piped birthday cake after a Fleetwood Mac gig in London. (“Glad she liked carrot cake,” he later said.) The years since have seen the duo's mutual affection blossom into one of pop culture‘s most cherished bondings.
Last year, when Styles inducted Nicks into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, he proclaimed the 72-year old “everything you’ve ever wanted in a lady, a lover, in a friend.” Nicks has gushed about him in interviews as everything from “the son she never had” to the “love child” of her and bandmate Mick Fleetwood. Styles earned her official seal of approval after covering “The Chain” every night of his first solo tour in support of a record that sounds closer to Crosby, Stills & Nash than anything he released under his prior band.
“Harry could've lost a lot of fans but he didn't. I’m so proud of him because he took a risk and didn’t go the One Direction route," Nicks recently told Vogue over the phone. "He loves One Direction, I love One Direction, and a gazillion other people do too, but Harry didn't wanna go the pop route. He wanted straight-up rock-and-roll circa 1975.”
Nicks has been embracing some of the busiest years of her dual careers as both Fleetwood Mac front-woman and solo sorceress—and doing so in the midst of a global pandemic. Since she last performed with Styles at the Forum for his Fine Line release show in December, she’s released a 24 Karat Gold concert film and “Show Them the Way,” her politically-minded single and first piece of original music in six years. After Miley Cyrus asked for Nicks's blessing before releasing her “Edge of Seventeen”-tinged “Midnight Sky,” the two joined forces for an exhilarating new mash-up titled “Edge of Midnight."
In honor of Styles making history as the magazine’s first solo cover-boy, Nicks caught up with Vogue to answer all our questions about their cosmic connection. Currently beachside with her quarantine bubble in Hawaii, she’s been doing what one would expect Stevie Nicks to be up to during a pandemic: writing new music, dancing around her house to “Watermelon Sugar“ and “casting little spells.” As befitting rock’s foremost storyteller, our intended 30-minute chat turned into a two-hour confessional about her love of Styles, working with Cyrus for the first time, joining Fleetwood Mac, the president-elect Joe Biden, the Met Gala, betta fish funerals, and much more.
Did you get a chance to look through Harry's cover story yet?  
Right before I called you I sat here and looked at all the pictures on my new iPad. What can I say? That's my Harry. I think the thing that’s most wonderful about him—and I've told him this and sometimes I think he takes it the wrong way—is that he’s such a kooky guy. He’s the type of person you'd wanna live next door to. He’d look out the window, see you having a hard time planting flowers and rush out asking "Can I help you with those roses?" "Sure but you are Harry Styles, right?" That's who he is.
I really only know him to a certain extent but I have gotten to experience some big moments in his life like when he released his first solo record at the Troubadour. I always think of Tom Petty saying "So you wanna be a rock star or you wanna be a pop star?" It's two completely different things and he really could have gone pop like his friend Zayn [Malik]. I was sorry that Zayn didn't keep going more because I thought he was really good. But he took the pop route, which I think was right for him. Harry could've lost a lot of fans doing rock-and-roll but he didn't. Harry did a long tour with that first record and said “I'm a different person now. I have a full-on rock band and this is what I'm gonna do.” With many of my records I’ll stuff down peoples' throats until they like it and that's exactly what he did. Then he went away and wrote Fine Line, one of my favorite records.
What were your immediate thoughts listening to Fine Line for the first time?
Me and four of my friends sat with Harry in his living room  in London and listened to it a few times before it came out. But it wasn't really Fine Line yet. The first time we listened to it nobody really said anything. The second time everyone started to go "I think this song is great but it should be second in the sequence." By the third listen it was five girls screaming "Well Harry really now, I think you need to take these four that are called "Harry Songs" and do this and that—” while he’s sinking in his reclining chair thinking "Are these women ever gonna leave? Thanks for your opinions but oh my god stop already."
What changed when you heard the record in it’s finished form?
This record means a lot to me. When it was all put together I listened and said "Oh my god, The Beatles live." A whole lot of people live in these songs. Fleetwood Mac lives there. I live there. When I listen to "Fine Line” I hear melodies that would've worked on “A Day in the Life.“ It has that same kind of complexity. I think the Beatles would've thought “Here we’ve influenced a young man who took some incredible things from us and made them his own years and years later.”
Earlier this year you posted a message saying that Fine Line is Harry’s Rumours. Can you elaborate on what you meant by that?
When Harry asked me to do "Landslide" with him at the Forum I asked why and he said "Because I want you to be there. You were there for my first night at the Troubadour for the first record.” That night I wrote him a letter that said “This is your Rumours so you have to really respect it and adore it because these kinds of records sometimes don't ever come again.” Fleetwood Mac went on to make many great records but people would bet their life on the fact that Rumours was the one. And this might just be the one for Harry. We were all kind of the same age when we made Rumours. I was 28 and Lindsey was 27. I actually don't even know how old Harry is—he's that timeless to me.
Do you have a personal favorite of his songs?
Every one represents a different thing to me. “Sunflower” is such a great little song. He loves to do crazy videos and one time I called him and said “I have an idea. You're gonna be a bee and the sunflower would be your girlfriend, and you guys would get married and live in a beehive with your little bee children. You’d sing the lyrics “kiss in the kitchen like it's a dance floor duh duh duh” and show this entire bee relationship.”
What did he think of that pitch?
When I finished the other end of the phone was silent. I said "No really, think about it. It’ll be fantastical like a Francis Ford Coppola movie.” He’s like “Yeah, okay...” (laughs). I also love the "Adore You” video with the little fish because I have my own special relationships with fish.
In what sense?
I always have two betta fish but they have to be separated otherwise they'll kill each other. I stick my finger into their aquarium and the blue one will swim around my hand like a little dolphin. When my fish get old and suddenly die I have funerals for them in my backyard where I play Celine Dion. I have them filmed and everything (laughs). It’s too much but I thankfully haven’t had any recent fish deaths. I haven't even been able to sit down and show Harry the videos of my little fish so when I saw the “Adore You” video I couldn’t believe it.
Why is it important for you to foster these relationships with younger artists like Harry who’ve been so openly influenced by you?
I'm inspired by them. I'm inspired that Miley wants to make music with me. I’m inspired that the Haim girls are my biggest fans—and I theirs. A lot of these kids are making the amazing records I’ve been waiting for them to make. I’m not like other 72-year olds. I listen to current music because I want to be current. When people find out how old I am versus the music I'm listening to they think it doesn't gel at all. I’ve been collecting musical knowledge since I was in the fourth grade listening to the singles my grandfather used to bring home. I listened to Buddy Holly and the Everly Brothers until the sixth grade when R&B radio became Top 40. I said goodbye country and hello R&B, so it’s not like I'm ever stuck on one thing. What I love about Harry is that he's very old-school but still modern. And that's kinda like me.
You both also transitioned from massive groups to equally massive solo careers rather seamlessly.
When I decided I wanted to be a solo artist I'd only been in Fleetwood Mac for a few years. I tried to figure out a way to do it gracefully because I didn’t wanna break up the band. I just wanted to sit at my piano and write poetry. After we did a record and a really long tour the band scurried off to different parts of the world while I’d just be home writing songs for a year and a half. What did they care what I did while they were all on vacation? I’ve always said all the way through these two careers I've had: if you're in a band first, never break it up.
I know Beyoncé because I spent a day with Destiny’s Child making the “Bootylicious” video. I owe them a debt of gratitude because that’s the one time I ever got to pretend I played rock-and-roll guitar! But when Beyoncé made the decision to be a solo artist she did not see herself going back to Destiny's Child every couple of years. And that's a perfectly acceptable decision because sometimes that's what people wanna do. I, on the other hand, said why not have the ability to go back to Fleetwood Mac whenever I want? Being a Gemini I get bored really easily, so being able to have those two careers was great.
Do you think One Direction would ever reunite?
I think it's a good idea. For all we know, One Direction is completely broken up forever. But I think those guys are friends and five or ten years down the road they could all go "You know what, wouldn't it be really fun to do a One Direction tour?" Because that's what people do. I wouldn't be surprised if they did reunite at some point just because they can. And because it would just be fun. Harry is the kind of person who would never stomp on that idea. He would never say (imitates posh English accent) "Never! I would never do that again!" Because why not just keep the door open?
Was there any particular detail or passage in Harry’s cover story that stuck out to you?
According to this article he can get in a car with his friend to drive all over Europe then drive back by himself. I stopped driving in 1978 because my driver's license expired and I'd already made a lot of money. I very smartly thought "You know what, if someone even hits you and it's not even your fault but you're a little drunk, you are done. You're finished and the fortune that you've made is gone, so why should you drive anyway?” By then me and Christine were very cloistered, but Harry's able to live a freer life because he's a guy. He's like Mick. He has a free life.
Would you say that you don’t?
I'm only comparing us in the way that Harry goes off to the Bahamas to work on songs then flies back to LA then London then Italy—I can't do that. I can't do that by myself. He's able to do whatever he wants by himself and it's a whole different way of life. Being that Harry is a guy, he's able to be a loner more than I am. As a woman I'm not free to do all that. Even when I was his age I couldn't just get off anywhere I wanted. When we were on the road Christine and I didn't have a clue in the world what the boys did. We went to our rooms with security guys standing outside. It's not like we ever escaped to go club-hopping in downtown Manhattan. We never got to live that life so freedom as Harry knows it is very different than it’s been for me.
Did you ever have any figure in your life who provided some sense of mentorship the way you have to artists like Harry?
I didn't really have anyone. If I had any guiding force at all it probably would've been Christine McVie because she was five years older than me. And five years is five years, you know? Chris was friends with Eric Clapton and knew all the famous musicians in London. She’d married John [McVie] and done a bunch of records with Fleetwood Mac before I came along so she'd been in the music business for a long time. I was breaking up with Lindsey when she was breaking up with John. She was my therapist and my go-to person for just about everything. We had each other to get through that really difficult situation where no one was gonna quit the band. Christine and I kept the whole thing together by telling the three men "You quit because we're not stopping” Thank god I had her, but I think on the other side of that thank god she had me. We really were a force of nature.
I’m curious to what extent fashion plays a role in your and Harry’s relationship. Have you gifted him any accessories that were significant to you?
I actually gave him a ring at the Forum thing. It’s very masculine and has a pink stone in it. I told him it was a pink diamond but it really isn't, it would've cost $5 million. It was mine and I really loved it but I thought "This should be for Harry.” You can see it on his hands in the "Falling" video where he’s playing the piano. If Harry and I were in a band together we’d be trading all kinds of crazy stuff.
How did you come to decide on your all-black stage uniform?
I started getting paid when I joined Fleetwood Mac but up until then I didn't have any money to buy food. All of a sudden we were going on tour so I just packed up my normal clothes. We started eating because there was room service and there I was gaining ten pounds in the middle of the tour. I didn't fit in any of the clothes and I didn't have time to shop so when I got home I said “I can never do this again.” I knew a friend who knew a designer and I told her I needed a uniform because I can't be thinking about what I wanna wear every night. It makes it so much easier since everybody that's in Pittsburgh isn't necessarily gonna be in Philadelphia. Harry's done the same thing with his white pants and pink shirt.
What are your thoughts on him being the first solo male cover in Vogue’s history?
It makes me feel so inspired. I'm extremely jealous he's on the cover of Vogue because I'm seventy-two years old and have wanted to be on the cover my whole life. I’m such a magazine hag, so I’m incredibly jealous of Harry but I'll get over it. As far as all the crazy things he's wearing, you do whatever you have to do to be on the cover of Vogue. I'm very proud of him and I think it's great that there's a man on the cover… but I should've been in the corner off in the distance (laughs). Did you know I've never been to the Met Gala?
We would be honored to have you at the next gala and every one after that. I’m putting this in the article to make sure it’s in the public record.
As Mick Jagger says, "We still have our freedom, but we don't have much time." I would like to be not much older than I am now so I can wear a fantastic outfit and entertain everybody. It's a dream of mine and most of my dreams have come true, but I need to not be ninety when it happens.
Harry and you could perform together.
We wouldn't even have to rehearse. We've got a couple of duets that are really great. We do "Landslide" and “Two Ghosts” together really well. We actually have five or six terrific acoustic numbers that we could do at the drop of a hat.
You hinted earlier this year that there might be a role for Harry in the miniseries based on the stories of Rhiannon. Is there any update there?
This is probably the third-biggest thing I've ever done in my life after Fleetwood Mac and my solo career. There’s a lot to be done in the movie business before I can start riding my horses across the mountains of Wales. I've signed with a movie company—I'm not gonna tell you who—and we just signed a writer. I'm not gonna tell you who that is either but there’s an amazing part for Harry. My favorite character in the series is the only man who goes through all four books. He's a magician who doesn't wanna be king and I think Harry would just be so perfect.
Have you and Harry discussed collaborating on any future music together?
We're open to making music together because we've been very successful when we go onstage just to do one song. I would love to be in a band with Harry but even if I never saw him in person again he’s made a record that breaks my heart in a million places like Fine Line. As far as music goes there's plenty of fun things that he and I could do. We can just reach out to each other and do it. I’m always ready to slip back into those high-heel black suede boots and become my alter ego.
This interview has been edited for clarity and space.
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craftypeaceturtle · 3 years
Text
B is for Baby Time!
Summary: They finally get to meet the newest arrival for their family.
Note: Part of a series but can be read alone! The ABCs of their little family! Demus and Royality. 
The beginning- A is for Arrival
Next part: C is for Choas!
.
They got the call at exactly midnight. The second it turned to December they had prepared everything ready in case the baby would be early; they would not run around like headless chickens when the moment came. They had a baby carrier filled with blankets and a change of baby clothes that stood guard over their front door. But the 10th of December passed without any update. Remus was particularly insufferable but then again Janus had his own special brand of impatience. But all of that fell to pieces when they finally got the call at midnight that their surrogate had gone into labour. The baby was coming.
Janus blanched as he violently slapped Remus’ arm to get him up. He got up and started storming down the stairs all while silently gaping at the phone. Remus slunked after him before it suddenly dawned on him why Janus would be panicking at a phone call. 
The plan had been to sit at home and wait until the baby was born then drive carefully and calmly to the hospital. That lasted a good... 20 minutes? “Do you want to go and wait in the hospital?” Janus finally sighed. Remus’ fidgeting stopped for the first time since the call.
“Why? Do you wanna sit in a waiting room for hours on end?” Remus kept staring ahead. 
“Well I don’t know about you, but I can totally just sit here for several more hours.”
“We...” Remus sighed and wiped at his eyes, “We should be making the most of this really. Our last night of uninterrupted sleep.”
“Okay then, go to sleep then,” Janus laughed. Remus chuckled.
“Okay, let’s get going shall we?” Remus got up and held out his curled arm like the gentleman he was. 
“We shall... after you put actual clothes on. I’m sure the nurses don’t want to see your manky boxers,” Janus chuckled and pulled and flicked him with the waistband.  
They launched themselves at the car and only just remembered to actually grab the baby carrier. Sitting in the hospital room both felt like a relief and horrifically underwhelming. There were here now! They were here ready for any and all news. No need to keep anyone hanging. They felt productive just sitting there. But also... Both of them were just sitting there. In their rushed on jogging bottoms and baggy jumpers, with Remus’ wild bed head and Janus’ own frizzy hair lying limply against his back. They were both shivering as the December weather leaked into the waiting room. “Just time to wait...” Remus smiled weakly. 
An hour passed awkwardly. The second hour passed both quickly and also as painstakingly slowly. 
Remus’ phone vibrated from his pocket:
Evil Twin Bro- Hey, you know lots of weird stuff about getting different stains out right?
- yep
-also it really isn’t that weird. 
-it’s called being an adult.
Evil Twin Bro- Do you know how to get blood out of t-shirt material?
-is it dried or nah
-soak in cold water
-wash like loads of times
Evil Twin Bro- I’ll kill you if this doesn’t work. Also, why are you awake at 2 in the morning you maniac!
-could ask you 2
Evil Twin Bro- I asked you first. 
-baby’s coming.
Evil Twin Bro- Wait really??????!!!!!!!!!
Evil Twin Bro- Congratulations!!!! 
-haven’t got the baby yet. waiting 4 surro. 
Evil Twin Bro- Are you at the hospital?
-yea
Evil Twin Bro- How long have you been waiting?
-like 2h
Evil Twin Bro- Woah, that’s rough. How you holding up?
-dunno
Evil Twin Bro- You don’t know?
-feel like I’m gonna vomit. but also excited. 
-well I don’t know if it’s good vomit or bad vomit y’know?
Evil Twin Bro- I really don’t. What are you lot doing then?
-J fell asleep. I’m trying to save battery on phone. 
-So just sitting here.
Evil Twin Bro- Do you want me to drop stuff off for you? Pat was planning this whole thing for when you lot got the baby. He was going to cook you lot some fancy dinner and take it to you three. So I don’t mind helping you out! I could give you some muffins (trust me you’ll start to get hungry) and I have an iPad with a few films downloaded so you won’t need wifi. 
-jesus why cant you be like everyone else and send a sentence at a time
-we’re all goiufhgb   
-Hello Roman. This is Janus. Yes, we would greatly appreciate you bringing some stuff. 
Evil Twin Bro- Haha, no problem!
“I can’t believe you’re dragging him here,” Remus sighed as Janus wordlessly passed his phone back. 
“Why not?” Janus answered honestly. His whole being looked dragged down by sleepiness. Remus shrugged and looked ahead. Janus usually put so much effort into his appearance. Even the most basic ‘going to the shop’ outfit was a dramatic black and yellow gothic Disney villain who actually did crimes look. But he was simply shrugged over in the chair. He looked sleepily up to him through his hair. 
“Why was he even asking all that at 2am anyway!” 
“You don’t want him to come?” Janus asked, Remus heaved a sigh and plopped his head on top of Janus’. 
“I dunno... I think I’m just tired and panicky. It’s all good,” Remus muttered off to a whisper. He pressed a kiss to his hair and closed his eyes. 
He didn’t actually sleep. He just wanted to stop all conversation. People continued bustling in and out and Janus managed to fall asleep again with his chin propped up against his chest. He was even letting out a steady stream of snorty snores. Remus kept his eyes closed hoping no one would try to start a conversation with him. Janus was the talker to other people of their relationship. He only opened his eyes when he felt a firm prod to his shoulder. 
“Hey Reem,” Roman whispered before flicking his forehead. 
“What do you want dickbag?” Remus answered without thinking. Janus thankfully stayed sleeping. Roman only gave a pity smile and held out his bag. He pulled out some muffins and bottles of flavoured water alongside the promised ipad covered in glittery space stickers. Remus was too busy dumping the bag on the floor to notice Roman trying to get him to stand up. 
“C’mon.” He gestured to over where the reception was. Remus nodded heavily and gently prised himself from Janus. 
Now that they were further away, Remus saw that another hour and a half had passed. “Woah, you took ages?” 
“Yeah, I thought about waking up Pat and then you have no idea what a nightmare it was trying to find a 24 hour shop. Like it was so much harder than I thought!” Roman now spoke loudly with his on brand gestures.
“Right...” Remus fluffed up his hair and slumped into another chair. Hmm, just as uncomfortable as the other. 
“You okay?” Roman lowered himself to his eye line, looking like he was talking to a spooked dog, “Like really?”
“Dunno. I-I just don’t know. I feel a bit all over the place to be honest,” Remus flung his head back, “What did you lot feel?”
“Pretty much the same,” Roman giggled, “Patton was a mess. I think it’s always one person does fine while the other has an existential crisis. That was definitely Pat. But he calmed down the second he got to see Logan.”
Remus nodded, not entirely sure if he was actually listening or just getting lost in the sensation of his heavy head tipping up and down. “Fair,”
“What’s going through your head right now?”
“Dunno... D-Do you...” Remus started before whipping his head to face the wall behind him, “do you think I’ll be like... I dunno a good dad?”
“Of course,” Roman slapped an hand on his shoulder. He was looking forward at the waiting room with an awkward wonky smirk. 
“Okay listen. Let’s be honest. Being emotional and gross with you just feels weird. I’ve been fine with having a baby before this. This is purely me panicking right now. As you said, I’ll be fine. So we can we not do emotional conversation?” Remus laughed awkwardly but he lightened up once Roman relaxed as well.
“Oh thank god you said it!” Roman laughed and melted back into his chair.
“Why were you coated in blood in the middle of the night anyway?”
“I wasn’t coated in blood,” Roman gasped way too loudly which Remus cackled at. Roman blushed bright red and nodded at the concerned receptionist, “I got the most random nose bleed out of nowhere and I knew you were the entire person in existence who wouldn’t question me.”
“You make me sound like a total weirdo! I would question you!”
“But you didn’t!” 
They settled into silence for a bit before inevitably Remus felt the need to speak, “How the hell did mum ever cope with twins? Like that seems like a lot...”
“Right?! Right after we had Logan, I think my mother’s day presents probably tripled in cost. She deserves it. Like all the same build up and worry but then you have another baby to come!” Roman shook his head.
“Aren’t babies are fairly gross as well?” Remus grimaced.
“Oh yeah! Don’t be put off from it! Oh, I feel so awful but the first time I saw Logan my first thought was ‘ew’. They don’t look anything like babies at first. Like Logan was blue with a traffic cone shaped head.”
“Their head is all fragile and mouldable. Janus made sure to show me pictures of newborns,” Remus stared off into nothing before turning to him with his signature smirk, only a little more tired, “But I am so telling Logan you thought he was an ugly baby.”
“Ahem,” Janus stood before them with an expectant look. Remus smiled and held out his arm which Janus jokingly shoved aside to sit down on the chair, “Hello Roman, I’m guessing you’re responsible for the pile of stuff that was at my feet.”
“Yep! How are you doing?” Roman smiled awkwardly.
“Tired but that’s to be expected. Are you staying long?” 
“No, actually that’s a good point! I really shouldn’t stay out longer. Pat will actually murder me for butting myself in,” Roman stood up with an exaggerated old man groan, “But... please text when you finally say hello to the little guy! I expect pictures!” 
Once Roman left, they wandered back over to their stuff and settled into a long night. Janus tried to stay awake. He knew that Remus was having a freak out. You would think it would be easy with the bright harsh lighting in the waiting room and the constant buzzing of conversation. Yet, his head bobbed lower and lower before Remus finally guided his head to his shoulder. He really tried but the tiredness and mix of emotions left him helpless. Remus only smiled at his useless husband before settling himself into Roman’s ipad. He settled into the Incredibles without much else to do. 
It was 5am when Remus saw the husband of the surrogate walk over to them. He didn’t think about it has he flung himself upwards, flinging Janus wide awake. The guy looked exhausted. “Hey, Remus and Janus?” He asked, thoroughly mispronouncing Janus, with his hand held out. Remus nodded awkwardly before thrusting a still waking up Janus at him.
“Yes, hello.” Janus shook his hand firmly. 
“Hey so the baby’s arrived,” He spoke softly as he walked back into the winding corridors he emerged from. They quickly followed after him, “He’s 6lb and about 20 inches. A little small thing but all healthy and average.”
“Aw, that’s all good to hear. Congratulations,” Janus sleepily smiled.
“Thanks but I think I’m supposed to be saying that to you two!” The guy chuckled awkwardly before he opened a door for them. 
Inside was the mother looking absolutely exhausted, curled up into her pillow with her frizzy hair thrown about the place. Janus subconsciously flicked his hand through his own hair, only now realising that he never brushed it before coming out. Ah well, not like anyone was looking their best for the demon of the baby that woke them all up. And of course there was the star of the show.
The baby was fussing a clear plastic crib looking thing, his reddened arms flinging around with his tiny little feet occasionally kicking. His face was screwed up but at least he wasn’t crying. He was simply laying there. The little boy that would change everything. 
Janus managed to pull away from the sight and say something to the mother. Remus deserved the first moments with their son. 
Remus looked at the mother but she was busy talking so he quietly shrugged before holding his hands out. It felt bad. They baby was clearly still fussy but quiet. What if picking him up set him off? But his hands were also hanging over him now. Sighing, he gently lowered his hands so they just about touched the tiny baby. He was warm to the touch and Remus grimaced at his thoughts that erupted from that. Maybe it was just because he was in a warm room. It felt like he was five years old all over again. It was like when a relative you barely know has a baby and just dumps the baby in your arms because it’s cute but you have no idea how to hold this fragile floppy new human. 
The baby sniffled at feeling his hands slowly worm underneath him but Remus then swiftly took hold of him and brought him to his chest, quietly shushing him without thinking. Thankfully, he settled down instantly. He was somehow both tiny and way heavier than he thought. “Heya little fella,” He cooed as he tried to uncurl his fist. The baby’s tiny little fingers uncurled and pressed back against his own finger. 
“He’s gorgeous,” Janus sighed as he came up behind Remus.
“Aw, he is. What are you guys naming him again?” The mother quietly asked.
“Virgil,” Remus answered but he kept his eyes glued to his baby. Janus smoothed his hand over the baby’s head. 
“Oh that’s a unique name!” The mother chirped.
“Has two people with unusual unique names, it only felt appropriate,” Janus muttered but his focus was completely enraptured by the baby, “Reem, do you mind doing the last of the paper work, then we can leave you all to recovery.”
“Cheers,” The father smiled awkwardly. Remus held out the baby and graciously lowered him into his arms. He perked up when he felt Remus press a kiss to his cheek, god he was clearly felt so sappy today. Not that he could really blame him.
They brought the baby carrier into the room ready to take him home and of course his eyes caught on their supplies. They brought a infant onesie- the cutest and non-halloween themed one they bought- but yet Janus frowned at the thought of trying to wrestle this baby into clothing. He looked much more comfortable pressed to his chest that he did lying down but he still looked like he could be seconds away from crying again. Of course, he couldn’t even begin to understand how stressful birth must be. The poor thing. He awkwardly bent backwards and grabbed the same blanket they bought about a month ago. Despite how much he tried, he couldn’t get out the black marker stain. It was just the first blanket they grabbed when preparing. Obviously. Of course. The first thing they grabbed. He grappled with the baby to gently cocoon him in the purple blanket. The spider web spiral sat in the middle of his back making him look like their little spider sitting in the middle of his purple spider web. 
He didn’t track when Remus came back in. He didn’t even think to keep up conversation with the biological parents. All he knew was that he was slowly stepping back and forth while pressing his face into Virgil’s own squishy cheek. 
Their little baby Virgil. 
27 notes · View notes
theotherjourney7 · 4 years
Text
“I was gonna leave The Week In Tory until Friday the 2nd October but at their current rate it'll be very long by then, and I'm worried about you, mate.
It's OK to get drunk on at 5pm on Monday the 28th of September, isn't it? Well, that's my recommendation anyway. Here goes...
1. In June UK Prime Minister Boris Johnson said to Black Lives Matter protestors: “I hear you”, and acknowledged the “incontrovertible, undeniable feeling of injustice” that “we simply cannot ignore”
So obviously, 40 Tory MPs refused to take part in unconscious bias training
2. The government shut pubs an hour early, seemingly under the impression coronavirus (an inert, sub-microscopic infectious entity with no brain or nervous system) can tell the time.
The government demanded we all follow the rules
The government exempted House Of Commons bars from the rules
3. Health Minister Helen Whately said “people who get drunk and leave the pub to keep on partying should remember their responsibility for the nation’s health”
Helen Whateley, who is *actually* responsible for the nation’s health, was sober when she said this. Presumably
4. After 6 months of world-leading “throwing apps in the bin but taking the cash anyway”, the government finally proudly released an NHS Testing App
It didn't work with NHS tests
Or on 18% of phones
Or in Scotland or Northern Ireland
And a report said only 10% of the us will use it, cos we don’t trust Dominic Cummings with our data
Nor should we: the Data Commissioner said Cummings' proposed changes to privacy law will see the UK barred from sharing global data, and cost the UK economy "up to £80bn"
5. Meanwhile the promise of 500,000 tests per day won’t be reached because, in news that should shock nobody, the government failed to order enough raw materials
So the government stopped releasing evidence of how many are being tested, cos if you don't look at it, it isn't real
6. The government, which only weeks ago was demanding we go back to work or all get sacked, now demands we all stay at home
7. Them the government said the reason the UK had the worst Covid response AND worst economy in Europe is because we are “freedom-loving”
8. And then government freedom-lovingly banned schools from using any materials that criticised capitalism
Not content with this, they also banned schools discussing “victim narratives”, which is going to make it tough to maintain their national anti-bullying strategy
9. And then a leaked report said the government was planning to freedom-lovingly deploy the military on the streets
10. Meanwhile, the government announced only 24% of businesses have done any preparation for Brexit, and only 30% of cross-channel HGVs have the correct paperwork
11. The government finally admitted what they’d been told repeatedly since 2016, and said Brexit would create 2-day queues of 7000 lorries at Channel ports
7000 lorries (at the average 16.5m each) is 1155km. That’s a queue over 70 miles long. Every day.
To solve this, the government announced a new internal border in Kent, helpfully relocating 70 miles of queues to London, Essex, Surrey and East Sussex instead
A month ago, Tory MP Sir Edward Leigh was demanding we “take back” Calais. Now we’re essentially abandoning Kent.
Because we only had 4 years to plan for this, our lovely new border will start on 1 January and be controlled by software that – and you should probably open a second bottle around now - won’t be ready until at least 4 months later
Oh, and border checks won’t be ready in Northern Ireland either
But we might not have a problem anyway: it was revealed there are just 2000 EU haulage permits for our 40,000 UK hauliers. That’s 5% of what we need, for any Govt Ministers struggling with the maths
12. And we don’t even have enough pallets for the goods we import, cos we currently rely on a supply we share with the EU, and have neither the wood nor the treatment plants, nor the required chemicals to make and treat our own
So now the government has to make a 200m border, a mechanism for policing it, an internal passport system, software, admin, buy 38,000 permits and grow enough trees for 700,000 pallets. In 3 months.
It had 5 months to add up some A-Level results, and that went swimmingly
13. I’m sure supply-and-demand won’t force prices sky high, cos it never does when you have 5% of the food the nation needs and a govt which boasts about breaking the law, but it was also announced tariffs will add £3.1bn to the nation’s food bill in Jan 2021
14. As a mark of confidence, Jim Ratcliffe, Britain’s richest man and a leading Brexiteer, buggered off to Monaco
15. And an unnamed minister was quoted: “We are stuck in a bind. If we try to cancel Brexit we destroy ourselves; if we go ahead with it we destroy the country”
16. The London School of Economics reported the long-term cost of Brexit will be 2-3 times the cost of Covid
So Rishi Sunak cancelled the budget, cos once again, if you don’t look at it, it doesn’t exist
17. JPMorgan shifted £200 billion out of the UK and into Germany calling it “a result of Brexit”.
At least 22% of our entire national economy depends on international banks based in the City of London, so when the largest one fucks off, it's a relaxing development
18. Former Prime Minister Theresa May said the government’s bill to break international law is “reckless” and “risks the integrity of the United Kingdom”
19. The Attorney General, who takes an oath to parliament, the Queen and The Bar to observe the law, said she was “very proud” to be breaking the law
The UK is a signatory and legal guarantor of the Good Friday Agreement, which brought peace to the island of Ireland after 3600 violent deaths. The Attorney General, who is sworn to maintain peace, says Brexit will break the GFA, and she is “extremely proud” of that too.
Turns out, the advisory Professor who told her she should go ahead and break the law and endanger peace in Ireland is the partner of Michael Gove’s special advisor. It’s amazing, these coincidences. Almost as if they don’t want to listen to anybody else
20. Speaking of which, UK Prime Minister Boris Johnson’s old friend and unfailingly irrumating backer (google it) Charles Moore, who has spent his life demanding the end of the BBC, and said the BBC causes "human misery worthy of Dickens" (does he mean Mrs Brown's Boys?) is in line to run the BBC
And it was reported ex Daily Mail Editor Paul Dacre, who shouts c*unt so much his meetings are called “the vagina monologues”, and whose paper is banned as a Wiki reference cos it lies so often, is going to be put in charge of Ofcom: ensuring decent and honest broadcasting
Oh yeah, and Boris Johnson tweeted “a free press is vital in holding the government to account”, which is probably why the people holding his govt to account are being replaced with his mates and cheerleaders
21. Tory MP and successful conscience-donor Andrea Jenkins got paid £25k from a thinktank that doesn’t exist
22. And because no list is complete without a disturbing nocturnal visitation from the smirking angel of death, Home Office Secretary Priti Patel was accused of incitement to racial hatred
23. Whilst Patel, Jenkyns and the Attorney General were busy redefining “the party of Law and Order” the rest of the govt took a wild swing at “the party of fiscal responsibility”, when it was revealed the government has wasted £3,895,556,000 since March.
This includes unsafe testing kits; face masks that don’t work; broken tracing systems; useless antibody tests; cancelled ventilator challenge; and inexplicable contracts to sweet manufacturers and dormant companies with no employees, to provide PPE that never arrived!
24. The government, which insisted schools and universities reopened, said it was now vital to lock down students and prevent them from mixing in large groups
And then the government said it was sanctioning class sizes of up to 60 which ... remind me, is that more or fewer than 6?
25. Health Secretary Matt Hancock said “we’re giving up to 11,000 iPads to care homes to enable residents to connect with loved ones”
“Up to” is a bit telling, but even if it’s 11,000, there are 21,700 care homes in the UK. I guess they’ll just have to share. Goodbye forever, nana!
26. And finally, if you feel all alone in despairing at this: you aren’t. Belief in Britain as a “global force for good” has fallen 10% since 2019. I, for one, am shocked to the core....”-Russ
76 notes · View notes
agentofscifi · 4 years
Text
Super Genius Ch. 3
I march my way through the complex, ignoring the stares off all of the Avengers. My Dad is biting into a bagel as I stop next to him. He swallows quickly. “Happy Birthday Kiddo!”  
I feel my eye twitch. “Peter, Peni, Miles, Anya, and Gwen have all been bitten by radioactive spiders. MJ and Ned seem to be some sort of Superhero backup. Riri and Harley recreated your tech in garages. Are any of these kids normal?”  
My Dad flushes. “How’s you find out?”  
“Peter got surprised, jumped, landed on the ceiling and then stayed there! This is not normal!”  
My Dad opens and closes his mouth. “I can explain!”  
I raise an eyebrow. “Explain what? How every one of your new interns is either helping a superhero, is a superhero, or is on their way to being a Superhero? What is this, the Junior Avengers?”  
My Dad rolls his eyes. “I haven’t coined a name yet, and don’t you mean everyone but you?”  
I raise an eyebrow. “Maybe.” It didn’t matter as much now. My parents in France were told about me being Ladybug after I became the Guardian. The kids all already knew. Harley had looked in my bag for my charging cord last night only to find Tikki. This would be when Peter freaked out and got stuck on the ceiling. Giant talking bugs were not normal in New York, according to Peter. Either way, my superhero ID had already known to the rest of the kids.  
My Dad does a double take. “What does “maybe” mean?”  
I shrug. “Maybe means that I was given a pair of magical earrings with a tiny goddess that’s attached to them when I was 12 and that I’ve been fighting a magical terrorist for the past 3 years while in Paris.”  
Everyone is looking at me once again. My Father is blinking rapidly. “This is a joke, right?”  
Tikki suddenly pops up in the air next to me. “Hi, I’m Tikki! I’m the Ladybug Kawami.”  
A disheveled Clint looks up from his cup of coffee before slowly grabbing a newspaper and rolling it up. “Stark, don’t move. There’s a giant floating bug.”  
I reach forward and snatch the newspaper from his hand. “She’s a goddess.”  
Clint closes his eyes slowly. “So, no huge bug bites from the giant floating bug goddess?”  
I resist the urge to facepalm. “No, there won’t be any bug bites. Drink your coffee.” Clint nods and slowly starts to sip on his coffee again.  
My Dad clears his throat. “Magical terrorist?”  
“Who uses evil butterflies to possess people.”  
My Dad stares at me then looks to the ceiling. “FRIDAY? Is my daughter on drugs?”  
“No, Mr. Stark. Further research has turned up a few blogs and news articles speaking of Ladybug, Chat Noir, and several other heroes fighting a Hawkmoth and Mayura.”  
My Dad furrows his brow. “Is Paris on drugs?”  
I roll my eyes. “No, Dad. This is not the point. Are you, or are you not, starting some kind of Junior Justice League?”  
My father gives me a playful glare. “Mari, you know me. I’m just mentoring.”  
“So you are starting a Junior Justice League.” I throw my hands into the air. “You have got to be kidding me!”  
“Marinette!” My Dad is whining now, like a child.  
I roll my eyes and decide to skip out on the rest of my questions involving my Father’s collection of teenage superheroes. “Dinner with Pepper, Rodney, and Happy tonight?”  
He smiles. “Of course, at your favorite restaurant!”  
I peak him on the cheek. “Love you Dad!” I twist around on my heels and hit the button for the elevator.  
Sam blinks as I step into the elevator. Tikki waves at Sam, who hesitantly waves back. “What’s with the floating giant bug in the elevator?”  
“The tiny goddess attached to Tony’s kid’s earrings that she used to fight a magical terrorist in France that’s possessing people with butterflies.” Natasha leans back in her seat, sipping on a cup of coffee.  
Sam rubs his eyes and looks back at Tikki, who is still waving cheekily. “I’m going back to bed.”  
The elevator door closes as Sam turns back around to go to bed.  
A few seconds later I end up back in the Teen living room. Harley looks up as I walk back in. “So, are we the Junior Justice League?”  
“Yup. You guys ready for today?”  
Ned briefly throws his hands up in the air. “5 Days of Star Wars in less than 24 hours!”  
MJ rolls her eyes as she finishes up the shopping list. “It’s 7 days Ned. We need to sleep.”  
“Sleep is for the weak!” Peni sitting on top of her robot, her spider resting on her shoulder.  
Anya sighs and runs a hand over her face. “I cannot believe I am doing this.”  
My mouth splits wide open. “Doing what Anya? Adding an AI to the Avengers Tower, freeing ourselves of the Baby Monitors, and rebelling form the man upstairs.”  
Gwen looks over the back of the couch with a raised eyebrow. “Is the man your father?”  
“Yes and if he was in my shoes, he’d be doing the exact same thing.”  
Gwen shrugs. “Probably.”  
“I’m sorry!” Peter looks around at all of us. “Are we all just going to go with the tiny goddess living in our...apartment, the girl with magical earrings, and the terrorist in Paris with magical butterflies possessing people?”  
“Peter,” Miles looks up from the sketch book in his hand. “There's a wizard with a semi-sentiate cape living in New York. The tiny goddess makes more sense than the cape. The evil butterflies, I’ll give you that. That’s just weird.”  
I click my tongue. “Says the kid who developed invisibility after being bitten by a spider. That’s weird.”  
Miles holds his hands up. “Agree to disagree.” He reaches down and holds up his paper. It was done in colored pencil, but was drawn as if it was spray painted. It was a large yin-yang symbol, however, a spider sat in the Yin circle of the Yang side and the arc reactor symbol sat in the Yang circle of the Yin side. “What do you think?”  
“I think we need to add spray paint to the shopping list. We have our symbol of rebellion.”  
Harley shrugs again. “Or the symbol of our Junior Avengers?”  
Riri glares up at Harley. “Way to ruin the moment, country boy.”  
Back in Paris  
Lila’s POV  
Alya squeals as Miss. Bustier smiles before the collection of students. Technically, Lycée was out for the year, but after months of fundraising and paperwork, the Akuma Class of Lycée Françoise Dupont was attending the International Technology Showcase in Washington D.C. in 2 months. A sizable anonymous donation was sent to the school. I had already spun a story telling all of my sheep that Tony Stark sent the money so that we could see the Showcase in D.C.  
Max had already planned on attending the showcase this summer, as he was showing off a computer program of his. With the announcement that the school would be covering the rest of the trip, several other students in the class were considering adding their own inventions to the showcase. I would have to whip something up and then maybe I’d be able to catch the eye of someone at the showcase. Science wasn’t where I wanted to end up, but winning some award at a huge competition for a bunch of nerds would look great on my portfolio.  
I give a loud sigh. “This sounds great, but unfortunately, my designs went missing. I had this amazing idea that I worked out with Tony Stark. The equations and blueprints disappeared out of my bag on the last day of school.” 3, 2, 1, and!  
Alya gasps. “I bet it was Marinette, just like your laptop Lila!”  
“Did you ever go to the police, Lila?” Rose is giving me one of those obnoxious smiles.  
“I tried, but since I didn’t have any proof, they said they couldn’t do much. Marinette must have reset the tablet.” I give a few sniffs as the class tries to comfort me.  
“You know, I bet if we told Marinette’s parents they’d believe us!” Alya stands up from the benches just outside the school. “I bet they’ll force Marientte to give back Lila’s laptop.”  
A brief wave of shock rolls over me. That was something I hadn’t considered yet, turning Ms. Goodie-Tooshoe’s parents against her. The iPad idea might not work alone, but with all the other stories I had made up, I could probably convince them. “Well, if you think it’s the best thing to do.”  
The whole class makes their way over to the bakery, Alya at the lead. I let the class escort me over, as if I didn’t want to be bothering the two bakers.  
Alya slams open the front door, the bell’s ring catching the attention of the two people behind the register, as well as the woman attempting to order. Both of Marientte’s parents give the class smiles, however, they seem hesitant. “Hello kids,” Marinette’s mother waves to us. “I’ll be with you in a second.”  
Alya, instead, marches her way towards the counter and pushes the woman aside. “Mrs. Dupain-Cheng, we have something important to talk to you about!”  
Said woman’s smile falls instantly as the other woman rubs her side. I immediately knew this wouldn’t go to plan. I’d have to adapt to get things my way. “Alya, I’m with a customer. It will have to wait a few minutes.”  
Alya rolls her eyes. “This is more important. Where’s Marinette?”  
Mrs. Dupain-Cheng crosses her arms over her chest. “Marinette isn’t here. What is this all about?”  
“Mari’s been bullying Lila!” Alya points back to me and I give a small wave. “She’s stolen things from her, called her a liar, has sent mean texts, and just a few days ago, she took Lila’s iPad and some tech plans Lila worked out with Tony Stark.”  
Marinette’s parents share a look before her mother bursts out laughing. Alya rears back her head in shock and I can’t even hide my surprise. Mrs. Dupain-Cheng looks back at us. “Marinette didn’t steal any tech plans. She doesn’t need to.”  
Alya opens and closes her mouth a few times. “What! Of course she does! She’s a complete scatterbrain.”  
Mrs. Dupain-Cheng’s eyes darken. “My daughter skipped a year of school and still had the best grades in your class, hell, in your year. She managed to have these top grades while juggling her class’ work, class representative duties and all of your outrageous requests that were usual last minute and always free.”  
Several of my classmates are red or pale after those words. This was not going my way at all. I give Marinette’s mother a big smile. “Well, that’s what friends do, they help each other.”  
Mrs. Dupain-Cheng raises an eyebrow. “Right. I suppose this is why my daughter spent countless nights and hundreds of euros on fabrics for commission she was never paid for. Or, why Marinette was told she’d be babysitting three little kids for free while their older siblings went on dates with the money their parents gave them for babysitting. Or why she was told she was being selfish everytime she tried to ask for help.”  
I let my smile fall. This was not going to plan at all. “She stole things from Lila!” Alya has a look of disbelief on her face. “She stole important work. So what if Marinette’s a year ahead. Max still has way better grades than her. You’ll see next year when we restart classes.”   
Max’s chest puffs out in pride. I have to stop myself from rolling my eyes. Mrs. Dupain-Cheng just raises an eyebrow. “Go to the police then, if my daughter has stolen something. As for next year, Marinette graduated Lycée last week after years of working ahead. She’s attending MIT in the fall.”  
This could not be happening. Adrien looks at Marinette’s mother with shocked eyes. “Why didn’t she tell us?”  
At the same time Alya screams. “What!”  
The eyebrow is raised even high. “Because you told my daughter that you weren’t friends with her anymore. Now, you had barged into my shop, pushed a client, and rudely interrupted a sale. Please leave!”  
“But-”  
“Now!” The class scurried out the door, me along with them. Marinette’s mother looked truly angry.  
We all stand outside the shop, several of my sheep looking completely confused. Since when was Ms. Goodie-Goodie smart enough to graduate two years early?  
I huff and I slowly make my way up the staircase of the Dupain-Cheng home. I need something for this showcase and if Marientte is as smart as her mother says she is, then she’d have something. I managed to pick the lock of the bakery and make my way up to the attic that Marinette called a room.  
It was bare. That was the best way to describe the room. All of the walls were empty of decorations. The desk had nothing on it either. All that was left was the basic furniture and the sheets on the bed. I try all of the desk drawers and even under the bed, nothing. Then, I remember it the board Alya told me about. The schedule of Adrien’s that Marinette had kept.  
I rooted around at the edge of the bed until I found it. The edge of the board. Smiling, I pull it all the way down. It was several layers of plans on top of each other. There were details about several apps, some green projects and well as some super resistant fabric for firefighters. What really caught my eye was the equations and blue prints for a small device that would wirelessly charge any device in a 50 radius. I snap photos of all layers of plans. If I could get this stuff out there, I could make thousands, and all with the help of Marinette. The only issue would be if Marinette came after me for stealing her work. Who was I kidding, that wouldn’t be an issue. I’d just shed some tears and tell everyone about Marinette’s bullying. I had school records to back me up. It’s not like anyone would believe her if she said she did the work.  
New York City
Marinette’s POV
I click my tongue as a notification pops up on my phone. After Chloe had broken into my room I’d set up security cameras and motion sensor alerts in case anyone else tried something. A good idea seeing as Lila was currently picking at things in my room. I raise an eyebrow as she pulls down my chart and starts to take photos of my inventions on there.  
“Everything alright?” Riri stops at shoulder and looks over at the phone. “What is she doing?”  
“She is taking photos of my ideas. The coding for a few apps, blueprints for some green energy things, the information required for my super resistant firefighter fabric and an invention I got a patent back on last week. It goes on sale in a month with Stark Industries.”  
“Cool. How does she expect to get away with this?”   
“Didn’t you hear!” I pick up an overly fake fangirl tone of voice. “It’s Lila Rossi! She’s Ladybug’s best friend, she saved Jagged Stone’s kitten, she does all kinds of environmental charities with Prince Ali, she helps the Avengers and all while having arthritis, sprained ankles and wrists, and tinnitus that switches ears every few hours.”  
Peter stops in the middle of the living room, a look of complete confusion on his face. “I thought Jagged Stone had a crocodile?”  
“He does Peter.”  
“Since when does Tinnitus switch ears?” Peter is still confused.  
“Since she saved Jagged Stone’s cat from an airplane.”  
Harley snorts from the edge of the kitchen. “This sounds like fantasy.”  
I groan. “You’d think, but my class all believes her. Max made a freaking A.I robot, with emotions, but believes that a paper napkin could cut his eye. He wears glasses.”  
“What did Hawkmoth lower your class’ IQs or something?” Anya settles down into the nest we had made in the past hour.  
“A leading theory.”  
The phone rings with a facetime request. I hit the accept button and my father’s face pops up with a stack of papers in his hands. “What is this?”  
I raise an eyebrow. “You got our declaration of independence.”  
My father looks unimpressed. “What is this?”  
Riri is grinning next to me. “Our declaration of independence.”  
“What does that mean?” I can’t but laugh at the confused expression on my Dad’s face.   
Harley pops up on my other shoulder. “No baby monitoring protocols!”  
“Junk food all day!” Miles yells from his spot.  
“No bedtime!” Peni is cheering. Sometimes I forget how young she is.  
There’s laughing in the background from my father’s end. “Tony, are the kids beating you up?” I recognize Bucky’s voice in the background.  
My father ignores the comment. “How did you block FRIDAY?”  
“Simple, I added in my own AI. I left the backdoor open years ago.”  
“You have an AI?” My father’s face is torn between confusion and pride.  
“JADA. Junior Avengers Defying Adults.”  
“Mari!” My Dad is whining again.  
“You have 5-6 days to review our Declaration, we will be occupied during this time. We have a lawyer, for the record.”  
“Do I want to know what you’ll be doing?”  
“Star Wars marathon. All 12 movies, along with all 7 seasons of Clone Wars, the first season of the Bad Batch, all 4 seasons of Rebels, and the two seasons of The Mandalorian. If we don’t sleep, it’s roughly 7711 minutes of Star Wars, which is 128 hours and 31 minutes or 5 days and eight hours. So, when you see us again is entirely dependent on how long we can go without sleep.”  
“I worry about you sometimes.”  
“ I’ve got to go. Ned just put in the first film.”
“Just one question. What is on the floor behind you?”  
I looked over my shoulder at the nest that had been put together over the past hour. Riri was settling into her spot. “That’s 6 mattresses, 19 blankets, and about a dozen pillows.”  
“Why?”  
“Couches are boring.”  
“Ok, now I’m worried about all of you.”  
“Goodbye Dad!”
Before ~~~~~~ Next
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