#my last three brain cells | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

blujaydoodles · 1 year

Note

What's Aubree's coolest story about how she got one of her scars? (Besides the one she doesn't talk about)

"Although, really it's a bit of a stupid story if I'm being honest, but the scar's cool as hell and that counts for something, yeah?

“It was one of my first jobs with a trade caravan, just as an extra pair of hands-- green as I was, they wouldn’t have hired someone like me as an armed guard even if I’d thought to offer back then, but it’s easy enough to prove I can haul shit around, and not a lot of folks are keen to take the pass north of Stormridge in any case so they were happy for the extra help.

"We were five days into the Wildcrest Mountains-- about halfway through. It was just starting to get into nightfall, and we were trying to push through to a sheltered spot one of the guards knew was a little ways ahead to camp for the night, when we heard the howlin up in the ridges, and comin down toward us.

"Now, we get wolves out in Crickhollow, sometimes; usually just one by itself skulkin round the pastures, and if they can catch em in time it mostly only takes a few dogs to run em off back where they came. We’d spotted some goblin scouts makin eyes at the caravan a few days earlier and spooked em away easy enough with a bit of barkin of our own, so when we heard the wolves I figured I knew what we were in for. But let me tell you: wolves in the mountains are different than the ones you get round halfling country. It’s cold, and hard, and it makes em strong, and it makes em hungry.

"We had six armed guards with us, proper kitted with swords and shields and all, and of course I was out there with Corker, hangin back a bit just not to get underfoot of em. They were spreadin out to circle the wagons, but the wolves had the jump on us and came leapin out the dark before we were ready. Biggest godsdamned things I ever saw! One slipped through and went straight for the horses, but I was ready for him-- hit him midair and sent him reelin away, and I figured that’d be the end of it for that one. Turned around and saw another one was lungin and snappin at one of the guards-- skinny lad called Derek-- and had him in a bad way; it’d got him offbalance, and looked about to take him down. I was to em before I could even think-- well, what else could I have done? The wolf had got its teeth in him, but it didn’t see me coming-- I hauled off-- WHACK-- cracked him square in the face, must have damn near caved his skull in! Just as he was getting his bearings, and I was pulling back for another swing-- the bloody bastard I’d clipped earlier came in from behind and sank every damn one of his teeth into me, and dragged me to the ground.

"Well, Derek managed to get his feet under him in time to stop the other one from jumpin in and tearin my damn guts out, but only just. The one that had me by the shoulder had a death grip on me-- I was swinging Corker round like mad, but I couldn’t get any good blows in like that, on the ground and backwards and with only one arm. Still put in a fair fight, for all that-- I was snarlin like a beast myself, grabbin for its face with my left hand best I could. Then suddenly he dropped me, yowling somethin awful. Another guard, big fella called Radimir, saw him layin into me and ran him straight through. Good thing, too! If I’d been alone out there that would have been it for me. Stupid way to learn not to put your back to a wolf, but it’s always better to have friends to back you up anyway. Especially when you’ve got more muscles than good sense, haha!

"Anyway, the rest of the pack did take off after seeing we could put up more fight than they wanted-- they’re tough, not stupid. No one was hurt except a couple of the fighters and myself, and we made it to the outpost just fine. I hadn’t really imagined I’d be spendin my first couple weeks in Pelora laid up all in bandages with a broken collar, but hey, it gave me a good story for breakin ice at taverns. Bit more impressive to talk about than this-- [she points to one mark among many on her arms, brown with age]-- that I got trying to help with the bakin when I was six…"

#dnd #dungeons and dragons #halfling #fighter #'this will be better if I answer as Aubree telling the story herself rather than me giving a tl;dr'#-- me- a fool- as if I haven't spent the last three years shedding brain cells and forgetting how to write #things she doesn't add when she tells the story: by 'we get wolves in crickhollow' she just means crickhollow in general #her family are vintners; she'd never *personally* had to deal with wolves herself at all before this #once the wolf that had her on the ground let her go she was IMMEDIATELY back up on her feet and still swinging #he probably didn't need the assist at that point but she and Radimir actually killed that wolf together #and she was still on her feet and asking Derek if HE was alright when the blood loss caught up with her and she passed tf out #she made some 'that was stupid-- but goodhearted and brave' friends AND earned some 'what a fucking jackass' scorn that night #she couldn't help with unloading goods at the end of the journey and tried to refuse payment because of it #but they insisted because-- among other things-- she'd protected the horses and they would have been really up a creek if she hadn't #also she tends to handwave the cooking scars but if anyone seems interested she's actually really happy to talk about them!#THANK YOU FOR ASKING sorry it took me so long to answer!!#I already had this sketch! it was more done than I thought actually #my OCs #Aubree #ruins of creation #dungeons and doodles

11 notes · View notes

nathan-rhee · 2 years

Text

Part 1: The Accident

Trigger Warnings: death tw, injury tw, suicide mention tw, accident tw

mentions: @t-andwood / @chuck-diaz

Notes: No, Nathan is not dying. But somebody is!

If Nathan had been able to foresee the way his day would go, he would have taken longer in the shower that day. He would have played his vinyls a little longer, lingered over his cup of coffee and let Tom talk him into making a full breakfast. He would have considered his outfit more and maybe he would have just said no to the invitation that would always mean him sacrificing a part of himself.

But he had rushed through his shower, barely sipped his coffee, had only eaten a banana and had thrown on a monochromatic sweatsuit with his comfiest sneakers because it was hard for him to think about anything other than dread when it came to seeing his father.

He knew that Chuck would have told him to decline, all of his friends would have but it had been so long, Nathan had been sure he could handle it. In fact he had wanted to show off his newfound happiness but the closer he got to the meeting, the more he realized that the happiness he wanted to show wasn’t as solid as he would have liked. If Nathan was the most honest with himself, he knew that he wished he was still lying on a balcony in Lisbon, ignoring Rosewood and writing his mornings away. He longed for it, dreamt about it, and feared he would always be caught up in the past in his mind. But he had kept it all to himself, so set on just being happy and settled Nathan that he had forgotten to be an actual person.

But he had grown a lot and he had to give himself credit for that. Yes, he was still going through the motions a bit but at least he was making better choices, trying to be present and he had seen a therapist for a good portion of the year. Until he had started to dread the appointments and eventually stopped…but he had gone nonetheless and he called that progress. So he tried to keep that in mind as he left the apartment, only having a moment to really gather his thoughts before he spotted his father’s car across the street.

Today was the day he finally made his dad believe he was doing fine on his own. He felt it.

Mr. Rhee had reached out to his son earlier in the week, after having the slight inkling that his son was surely out there embarrassing them. It had been hard of him to let go of his disappointment but he had felt like he had softened a bit, at least enough to let Nathan just live his own life. But the more time went on, the more he felt like it was enough time and someone had to make sure that Nathan didn’t end up going down the wrong path.

And he had hope Nathan accepted his invitation, seeing it as an opening that maybe Nathan had come around to his senses. He had usually been so resistant, maybe the easy acceptance was a sign of something better. So he took a little longer in the shower that day, using his wife’s body soap that she always scolded him about using. He let himself have an extra cup of coffee and a decent breakfast and put on a casual suit, if only to remind his son that he should always be ready to make an impression.

Today was the day he would bring his family back together. He felt it.

Nathan kept his eyes focused on the road as he let his father fill the silence, knowing he’d be eager to and kind of grateful for the chance to settle into the car. He was both triggered and comfortable with the familiarity of it. And it struck him just how close and yet how far he was from that time in his life. From where he felt stuck under his dad’s grip, literally stuck in this passenger seat on endless drives wishing he could just throw himself out the car and never have to hear his voice again. He was reminded of why he had wanted his freedom so badly and though it wasn’t perfect, it was sure as hell better than listening to his father go on and on about who’s son and daughter was doing what or what programs were still accepting applications and fellowships and how he still wasn’t too old to go to medical school. It was like his father hadn’t missed a beat, like he had rehearsed it. All Nathan could do was laugh and he wasn’t even embarrassed when he realized that laugh had been out loud.

“Did I say something funny, Nathan?”

“Well yeah I mean, sorry it’s just, this is the first time we’ve seen each other in months, shit almost a year and you’re still peddling the same exact thing you’ve been telling me about since I was a fucking kid? I mean really, have you not given up already? Talk about not being able to take a hint.” He shook his head and looked out the window, his heart pounding from having been so honest but it had made him feel more awake than he had when he first got in the car.

“You want me to give up on your future? Nathan, I have kept at this because you just don’t understand how much can go wrong if you choose the wrong profession and go down the wrong path. Look, you have always been stubborn but surely you’ve had enough time, running around with your friends and playing roommates, okay? It’s time to get serious about your future. And I’m your father, it’s my job to make sure you don’t..fuck it up Nathan, okay?” Whatever hope Mr. Rhee had felt that morning was slowly starting to dissipate as he drove through town, having intended on taking them to one of his favorite burger places for lunch.

“You do realize I’m not a child anymore, right? You have no ownership over me. I’m not going to be a fucking Doctor, Dad. I don’t want to, I’m not even good at it, I mean who the fuck would want me cutting them open? Not me, I wouldn’t want that. I can barely hold a knife steady. And that’s just to start. God, why, why did I think this was going to be any different? I thought maybe you had some time to think and realized that you’re a raging asshole who can’t help but project all his failures onto his son. Did you ever consider that or do they not write that in all those bullshit self help books you read? I mean you couldn’t even help yourself, you launched right into it before we even pulled away, you barely asked me how I’m doing or even talked about Mom or do you still have her trapped in her cage too?” It was flowing out of him before he knew it, so much of what he had been holding onto since childhood. All the pain and resentment but he wasn’t yelling, or shaking or even crying. He was so composed it would have shocked him if he didn’t know that he had spent so much of his life thinking about this moment.

“Watch your fucking mouth, young man. I don’t know who you think you are talking to me like that but I will have you know that your mother is just fine. And the only reason you’re not a Doctor is because you lack the discipline. I mean you did so well in school. Until you started letting those people put those stupid ideas in your head that you wanted to be a writer. I mean really Nathan, do you think you’re going to be a successful writer? Get real, with yourself son, I me-”

“And what the fuck would you know about good writing? And stop talking about my friends like that, when they’ve been there for me more than you ever have. I know you think you’re some saint for keeping me alive as a kid but honestly, I’d rather you not have done me the favor and I’m not your property, Dad. Jesus, I can’t believe I spent all this time, so afraid of you when you’re just a fucking..sorry excuse for a guy. I may be depressed half of the time and I may not be the best at parties, or a fucking doctor or a rocket scientist, but I am a good fucking writer, and a good friend, and for fucks sake I was the best son that I could be given my shit luck at parents and I may not be much to you but at least I’m not you, because then I’d really wish I had killed myself.”

Nathan almost regretted it but he stood by his words, his father’s face turning red as he broke out into a slew of curse words and screams, a list of critiques that Nathan had been hearing as far back as he could remember. And for a moment he was transferred back to that night. His father had looked so large in his dorm room and he remembered how he had wished he could just dive out of the window or tackle him into the door. But he had just sat there and taken it. Until that misery from that had been replaced with the guilt that came from knowing he had caused that fire. Altogether he had tried so hard to forget that night and yet it always had a way of coming back. That feeling of worthlessness always had a way of returning like a wave of poison.

And just like that night, Nathan only had a moment before his life was changed forever.

If Mr. Rhee had been paying more attention, he would have better remembered that he was screaming while driving a moving vehicle. He had done alright at first, his eyes on the road as he eased through a green light, until he got angrier and he turned to look at Nathan. He had missed how quickly the next light had changed and had only just uttered out the words, “You ungrateful piece of shit” for the third time before he was cut short by the impact of a pickup truck slamming into them as his father ate the red light at full speed.

Their eyes met for a brief moment and if Nathan were willing to admit it later on he might have admitted that at that moment he knew he was finally free. And as the car spun and crashed into a nearby bus stop, he felt the most at peace for the first time in a while. But the impact had been worse on his father’s side and when the car finally halted to a stop, Nathan was face to face with both an airbag and his father’s bleeding head. His own head was pounding and his seatbelt felt like it was cutting into his neck but as far as he could tell he was still very much alive. He wasn’t totally sure how he felt about that. But he knew he had to find his phone. Call 911 or at the very least call Chuck.

His eyes fell to his father, trying to gain enough focus to see if he was breathing. From first glance, Nathan had the sinking feeling that his father was dead, the sight of him quiet and not moving for the first time in his life a bit of an overwhelming sight. The silence was not as comforting as he would have thought. So he struggled for a bit before he was able to reach his phone in his pocket, his hands shaky as he unlocked it. But he paused when he heard a faint breath from his father, his head turning quickly as he saw his father move his fingers, wheezing out something he couldn’t understand. He swallowed thickly as his finger hovered over the call button, watching as his father’s struggle became fainter and fainter.

It wasn’t so much a decision he made as much as a sudden impulse and when his father’s fingers finally stopped moving, he pressed the call button, calling emergency services before he let his phone drop to the floor.

Then he rested his head against the window and let the best sleep he had in the longest time come over him.

#self para #part 1: the accident #there will likely be three parts if my brain cells let me #death tw #injury tw #suicide mention tw #sry the only mentions are his two mens #LOL #also he's 100% alive and still has all his limbs and will wake up at the hospital #so plz bring him cute gifts plz and thanks #accident tw #last tag but let the record show this was under brandos supervision #sdkhfj

8 notes · View notes