#my legal guardian will never care for my mental health

[reasonsforhope]

I don't know who needs to hear this, but especially with the end of the school year coming up soon, and a bunch of people about to leave high school or about to leave college, I just wanted to say:

Being an adult can be really nice, actually!!!

Like, okay, yeah, life can be fucking stressful sometimes, and there's definitely an annoying amount of paperwork.

But me and just about every single adult I know will agree: I would never choose to go back to being a teenager, even if I somehow could.

Insert obvious disclaimer that nothing is universal. But for people worried about aging or graduating into the next chapter of life, here's some words of reassurance:

When you're a teenager, your brain is extra mean to you. Like, neurologically. All of the changes it's undergoing really, really increase rates of depression/anxiety/etc. A lot of the time, literally just not being a teenager anymore is really good for your mental health

Less than five months out of high school, everyone I knew my age was like "Thank fuck we're no longer in high school." Once you leave high school and adolescence there's really just such a dramatic drop in petty bullshit. Shit that would have been a huge social humiliation or gossip in high school is really often just like, "Hate that for you, man." Boom, done.

When you're a teenager or a brand new adult, you're encountering so many problems for the first time ever. When you're older, you just. Have learned how to handle a lot more things. You know what to do way more often and that builds confidence

When you're an adult, other people generally don't care if you don't do things perfectly, because jobs and life don't work like grades. This was such a trip to learn, honestly? But when you are an adult or have a job the bar for success is usually just "Did you do the thing?" or "Did you do the thing well enough that it works?" or "Did you show up to work for your whole shift and look like you were doing things?"

Similarly, if you're about to graduate college and you're really stressed about it, fyi just about everyone I knew in college ended up very quickly going "wow, 'real life' is way easier." Admittedly I went to a school full of very stressed out perfectionists and the like, so I can't promise this is universal, but there's a very real chance that life will in many ways get easier when you graduate

WAY MORE CONTROL OF YOUR OWN LIFE

Literally I cannot overstate that last point. As an adult, you are (barring certain disabilities or shitty circumstances like abusive family/the criminal justice system/etc.) able to make most of your own decisions. If you want to rearrange your furniture, you can. If you want to eat tater tots at midnight, you can. If you want to get yourself a little treat, you can. You can sign contracts and make your own legal and medical decisions and not need a parent or guardian signature for just about anything ever again

You generally learn how to give fewer fucks

The people around you have also generally learned how to give fewer fucks

Even when things are shitty, being able to choose what kind of shitty a lot of the time can really be worth an awful lot

#not news #life #advice #hope #adolescence #teens #adulthood #adulting #growing up #getting older #life advice #abuse mention #autonomy

[inklyqueen]

Literally all the critics are so up in their egos

Also Spoiler warnings for the Mario movie because I'm crying and yk it's opening day I'm not that kind of bitch

I don't think many of them understand that they've got it made rn, and they've never experienced the world some of us are living in

And I don't mean it in a mental health sense or anything, I mean in an actual survival as an adult sense

I was literally surprised by how much I related to Mario specifically. He's the oldest. I'm the oldest of six (under a technicality, two of them are my dad's girlfriend's kids but yk). I'm sure his parents have preached that he needs to take care of and watch out for his younger brother (I'm assuming they're still twins in this universe, Mario was always the older twin in the games and other lore), and I've been preached that too. I'm the same way with my siblings as Mario is with Luigi. Throw trash at my sister, see that happens. "The more you fuck around, the more you're gonna find out." And at the end of the day, my parents will be only in my memories at some point, and all I'll have left is my siblings, granted if I never get married, have kids, etc (God willing I hope, not the point though) It seems to me that Mario is incredibly aware of that too, that one day they'll both be at an age where it's literally only him and Luigi and that they may literally be the only one the other has.

What also struck me was the set-up they showed with the boys. They still live with Mom and Dad, still in their childhood bedroom(s?), just trying to find their footing, I assume they want to be independent of their parents. They put their life savings into a commercial to get their company off the ground. I'm assuming they didn't have very much in the first place, especially from the speech their father gave about how "you can't just give up a steady job for a dream," and how Mario (at least specifically I'm assuming) can't hold down a job in the first place. How he's the one that's bringing Luigi down, as if Luigi can't make a decision for himself, and Mario's like his legal guardian or something. It very much seems to me that they've literally leaned on each other for almost everything more than their own parents, and that's screaming volumes for me.

I still live with my parents, and I get the same grief as well over how I haven't gotten it all figured out still. C*vid was zero help, I wasn't even a year out of high school when it hit, I was just starting college and things were not going very well. I'm just now figuring out my degree program, what I want, trying to get my career off the ground, and getting money back in the bank. I can't afford rent, God no, and I'm blessed to have a job that covers tuition now.

But it seems to me that critics don't understand that. For some reason they want this incredible fleshed-out character arc, plot and overreaching plot, Oscar and Emmy winning from day one piece, and besides the fact that this is technically intended for children, some of the ones I've read are literally making just under upper-to-upper class pay and lifestyles by being that judgemental. They don't have to worry about gas (or the electric bills if they have an electric car) in the tank or food on the table or making rent. One said that they "failed to give Mario a personality" (paraphrasing), when literally I'm seeing myself and my survival struggles in this short moustachioed plumber with older sibling anxiety.

Which, I'm pretty sure he's got a mild touch of GAD, or maybe that's me projecting. I'm not a licensed anything. Also added bonus points because I'm shorter than all of the siblings that are at an age to have actual height. One of my siblings is in high school rn and she's taller than me by a good eight inches. I'm six years older than her.

I'm literally out here doing the best I can with a $200 Insurance payment coming and $80 in the bank.

So yeah. Mario is a really good character.

So thankful for him.

#mario movie #and dont get me started on the forehead touch #i wept #so much #mario movie spoilers #can the critics just let me enjoy something for once? #super mario #like jfc

[bumblingwitch]

•.,¸¸,.•´¯ 🎀 𝐻𝑒𝓁𝓅 𝒩𝑒𝑒𝒹𝑒𝒹 🎀 ¯´•.,¸¸,.•

I've been waffling on making this post for a while now, but I'm at my wits end. (even if I'm currently on an upswing) . So please read through and reblog to help each others.

Hi - my name is Grim(oire) and I'm your usual Tumblr user: Queer, neurodivergent, nearing 30, broke as all hell, and disabled for the cherry right on top.🍒

And I'm drowning.

Now, I'm not going to recall everything that has ever happened to me in an effort to NOT over-explain, but life has been rough. Real goddamn rough. Like - since childhood, rough. Which only makes recent events worse.

My pancreas failed a few years back, effectively leaving me as an insulin-dependant T1 diabetic. One that has no idea how damaged things are as it stands because I went months without insulin. This is already on top of a history of being very frail and sickly, but whatever - it can be dealt with right?

Then let's add on lasting new trauma from former roommates who proclaimed that we (partner and I) were demons trying to kill him and thus we needed to die. Eh - people have had waaay worse living situations. Who cares if it stacks on top of PTSD already there from my childhood and an Ex?

Let's sprinkle in my legal guardians (grandparents who raised me) dying for some pizazz on the brainmeats too.

Then there are the moving costs of escaping a state that wants both me and my partner quiet or dead. A financial strain that lingers to this day. Well - I can just get and keep a job right?

You would fucking think.

Between my mental health and physical health, I've never been able to keep a regular job for more than a year, and we all know how wonderfully easy it is to get on disability.

All this to say: I'm stressed. I'm so fucking stressed that I want to claw my way into my own chest to get the feeling to just go away for more than a few hours at a time. I now have a psych and a new diagnosis of bipolar type 1 - which I mean, yaay? Steps forward to help but what I'm the fuck am I supposed to do in the meanwhile?

Well - I want to sew. I want to start up an online boutique where I sell the clothes to order and custom if people need. Along with selling witchy things on the side, this has been a dream of mine for years now.

So time to get to the point.

I need monetary help to be able to live as well as to be able to start up saving for the shop.

Basic bones: I would need a bolt of muslin and an adjustable dress form to start mockups. This alone is about $200.

I also.... Would like to be able to eat and live too lmao. My partner can only shoulder so much financial burden and it's killing him. So anything sent for groceries and rent is appreciated (especially as I wait for SNAP to get back to me.)

Please, please, please feel free to DM for more info. The CA is: 💲GrimoireR

Thank you. It's.. Really hard to this but I am drowning and out of work.

#trans crowdfund #trans community #Have no fucking clue how to even tag this lmao

[inamindfarfaraway]

Inspired by this awesome, hilarious series by @jasonsfavoriteginger, here are my ideas for what the Catfamily (all living in Gotham, happy and on good terms, as seen in my Catfamily Chronicles fanfic series) would do for a presentation night. The Batfamily are importantly also present.

Selina Kyle: Security Update Recommendations. A list of exploitable flaws and weaknesses that she has personally found and demonstrated in the security systems of the Batfamily’s various locations; and genuinely good suggestions on how to fix or compensate for them. The locations are Wayne Manor, the Batcave, Dick’s flat, one of Jason’s safe houses, the Clocktower, Team Batgirl’s Firewall (Batgirl Steph forever! Read her 2009 run if you haven’t to know what this is) and Duke’s Nest. Every slide has photos of her breaking into the spaces clearly labelled with her precise actions, step by step. She maintains a helpful, nonjudgmental tone and straight face throughout. However, the text (which she does just not read aloud, because that’s boring) becomes increasingly sarcastic and mocking, and the content and fact that none of the audience knew about any of these break-ins until now speak for themselves. Afterward she takes in the Batfamily - on a spectrum from shaken to disturbed to terrified - and finally breaks her composure. She laughs so hard she cries. Bruce sheepishly asks her if she can give a similar presentation to the Justice League. The design is simple and classy, elegant black text on a purple background, which helps the mostly nighttime or otherwise dimly lit photos of her in black Catwoman costume stand out better.

Maggie Kyle: How To Look After Your Mental Health. The text is literally just very useful advice with a positive, encouraging tone and the articulation of a psychologist who has herself spent a lot of time in therapy. But in contrast to Selina, Maggie frequently takes a pointed tone and casts knowing, deadpan looks at members of the audience regarding their poor coping mechanisms and self-care, much as Alfred often does. The last slide has ‘Don’t make me call Harley’ in a smaller font size underneath ‘Thank you for your time!’. The background is white and the text, in the nondescript default font, and a range of soft, wavy patterns on the slides are calming shades of blue.

Holly Robinson: My Top Ten Funniest Spying Stories. Her job in the Catfamily is to hang around on the East End streets gathering intel. She is a gossip and anecdote queen. She and Babs have regular meetings for literal and figurative tea, this is canon and you can’t change my mind. The design has a gold background with black Comic Sans text.

Kitrina Falcone: Catgirl’s Guide to HARDCORE Escapology! This is an excuse to brag about her most impressive feats of escaping places and people, including Selina back when they first met, under the thin veil of an educational lecture. The majority of experiences she draws on to showcase different skills are from her time as Catgirl. But some are not. Some are from her adventures as a juvenile delinquent before meeting Selina, and they paint an extremely concerning picture of her childhood. Not that it wasn’t already known to be bad, but still. The Batfamily at least have never got this much detail on how much danger she was in before. Her confident, cheerful, conversational manner doesn’t falter once and she completely ignores the audience’s attempts to follow up on casually mentioned incidents like, oh, you know, the time her uncle and previous legal guardian nearly drowned her by tying her up and throwing her into the sea in a box chained shut. Normal teenager stuff like that. The backgrounds are black with bright pink text and flashy transitions.

#selina kyle #catwoman #maggie kyle #holly robinson #kitrina falcone #catgirl #catfamily #catfam #dc comics #dc

[matan4il]

What's interesting to me is with the semi reconciliation between Eddie and his dad there wasn't really a reason to show that Buck was Christopher's guardian. Its plausible now to assume Eddie could find a way to work it out with his parents especially with his sisters and Abuela there. Yet we all know he still is comfortable with his "chosen family ". And let me explain, firstly I'm one of the ones that believes Buddie was always set up as slow burn. So everything from the beginning was intentional.

When they basically said after the well was when he did it, yes to me that means they have been building to it seasons in the making. And the thing is even if you said well they revealed the will for Bucks self worth.. Sorry but that didn't actually solve anything for Bucks mental health in S5.

I don't know if what I am saying makes sense probably but my point is it's all deliberate and we know everything eventually means something more later with Buddie.

And again slow burn couples are written very differently then right away or already Canon couples. You have an arc planned to get there. Details can change but there is an arc already in your head. Hence why Taylor and Anna were seasons in the making, representing 2 sides of a coin and both doomed to fail.

It will be interesting to see how it all plays out. But please when they are Canon give me an episode of Buddie and Maddie visiting the whole family in TX!!!

Hi Nonnie! Thank you for this ask!

This is so true. Especially if you consider that in 315, Eddie doesn’t object to his parents wanting to raise Chris because they’d be bad at it, he wants to step up as a dad. And he still has a moment where it looks like he considers his parents’ words when he steps outside and talks to Chris, trying to figure out what’s best for his son. So if he and his dad have reconciled and his dad would now actively work on getting better? Especially when Eddie’s sisters were ALWAYS there, they would have always been a more natural choice for legal guardians than his older parents, and when he said that other than his dad, his family was okay, there shouldn’t have been any reason to bring Buck in on it to begin with. And yet. AND YET. My God, Nonnie. These two ridiculously in love morons make me wanna scream!

I def also agree with you that everything was intentional from the start. I’m not 100% convinced Buddie was always set up as a slow burn, but I do think they always wanted to have the possibility of allowing Buddie to become canon, so yes, I do think everything was very deliberate starting with that ridiculous introduction of Eddie through Buck’s eyes in what is the classic introduction of someone’s Love Interest. And the more they keep holding on to that option with Buddie, the more I’m convinced that sooner or later, it will materialize. (Here I’d also add that Buddie aren’t the only eventually-canon slow burn romance set up from the start to have that option, but that was still being discussed along the way on whether to let it happen or not)

I also agree with you on Ana and Taylor, they were never going to work out and it was evident from the get go with both. The show could have invested in them, at times it tried to look like it was, but it never truly did, it never developed them as actual characters in their own right. Think of Karen and how she’s a real, fleshed out character even though she’s a part of the 911 verse by virtue of being Karen’s wife. But she’s more than that! She also cares about Chim, she has her own struggles where we see Hen supporting her, not the other way around, she makes her own contributions to moving arcs along. That’s never really been either Ana or Taylor. For example, the only interactions Taylor has with the extended firefam outside of Buck end up showing her in a mostly negative way (Bobby and Athena in 206, Lou in 507).

In conclusion, I agree, and also yes to that! In fact, give me ALL of the extended Buckley-Diaz family interactions, I want to see them all and I wanna see Buddie being the super couple they were always destined to be throughout all of these interactions! Thank you again, Nonnie! xoxox

(I got an influx of asks, I WILL answer all of them, but it might take a sec. If anyone wants to check whether I've already answered theirs or to read my replies, here's my ask tag. Thank you! xoxox)

#buddie #911meta #buddie meta #911 meta #9-1-1 #evan buckley #eddie diaz #edmundo diaz #evan buck buckley #anti-bucktaylor #ask #anon ask #christopher diaz #911onabc #911 on abc #911abc #911 abc

[johannwolfgangvongoethe]

organizing care + being a legal guardian + struggle tweeting irl

enstars thought collection below. i dont know how we got here.

anyway, so this is a post where i talk about my vague ideas on whats up with kanames health and care situation. like, legally speaking.

(spoilers for everything surrounding kaname, obbligato specifically)

basically. i am an avid tatsumi and himeru enjoyer and healthcare business and law is? my hobby? idk if you can call this a hobby? so i have been absolutely obsessing over every little throwaway line we get about how kanames long-term care is organized. because depending on who is currently responsible on paper... that could really influence a lot, right!!! since right now kaname is unable to make health decisions for himself.

we all know (ore-)himeru is going through a lot and the possibility of an added responsibility and financial burden of a guardianship on him is something that is very interesting to me.

point of the post so this post isnt much about existing laws (as they are extremely complicated, even if youre native to a region and language), i mostly want to discuss what we know and the possibilities and the mental burden of carrying legal responsibility on top of internal emotions (grief, guilt, loneliness, despair and hopelessness, possessiveness even, and whatever else himeru has going on).

its smth that strongly gnaws on you. i think everyone who ever had to apply for care/benefits will know how horrible of a process it is.

boring health stuff i tried to look up japanese law surrounding how long-term payment and guardianship is organized and who qualifies for both. i am german so obviously most of my knowledge only concerns the legal situation here, unfortunately. i am Assuming enstars just follows the laws of irl japan and as such at least a considerable chunk of financial burdens should be lifted by the countries mandatory insurance.(70%) BUT the long-term intensive care situation for people under the age of 40 is murky (relevant long-term care laws exist for the elderly and aim to provide financial relief. but idk how theyd handle the case of a teenager, especially one that, we can assume, used to be in the foster system. the jpn foster system is its own can of worms) no surprise, disability/care related payment plans for young people, esp those who have never been employed or paid into insurance, are always like. ridiculously convoluted. sometimes nonexistent. so who knows which laws specifically affect kaname here.

(ore-)himeru mentions him still being at a hospital (in romantic? date chapter 5) so that is a vital clue that this has not been outsourced to some other care facility. so i wonder... how expensive is this currently. must be intense. i am just willing to bet his legal guardian (will get to this in a second) has to make financial efforts, on top of the papers and forms and emotional burden that such an arrangement brings with itself. additionally, its somewhat obvious but ill specify it anyways: we are talking about a full-time in-patient situation. (ore-)himeru mentions the circumstances of kanames current health in chapter 1 of the epilogue of obbligato. (while not fully comatose, kaname is not lucid. he does some vocalizing sometimes but communication is not possible.)

so. HiMERU and all that makes you wonder... are the himerus connected via guardianship. we know from obbligato that kanames mothers is dead, he grew up alone (the tojo family not being in the picture, apparently), and while their father is alive, he was not in a position to care for either of them himself, health-wise. (and financially, i am willing to bet) so, responsibility would just jump to the next relative; that being the adult brother. young adult who barely made it back to the country! but working and adult and insured nonetheless, therefore qualifying.

i would assume (ore-)himeru did not need to step up/wasnt really in the picture either (at least health system databases might not have been aware of him) but he visits him in the hospital. even before that, he attempted to become at least somewhat involved in kanames life by his rough attempts to coach him. and most of all, you know how much kaname means to him. i am just going to assume he claimed him.

and like, thats a shit situation for someone in their early 20s (or however old he is). that would be horrible for anyone in a more stable situation at a more established age.

the emotional baggage of it all. not only have you just met your half brother and just gotten around to the idea of having family, you instantly get it taken from you again. the loss and grief and guilt must be unimaginable.

(ore-)himeru has.... unbelievable issues when it comes to... his attempts to prepare what he thinks would be an ideal life for kaname. whether in hope of one day handing it over or just as a sad tribute to what could have been or an attempt to keep “himeru”, the artistic vision, alive. however much of this is happening in what percentage and on what conscious level.

so to the urge to make “himeru” famous, this would add the absolute need to make himeru famous as a source of steady good income. of course (ore-)himeru is desperate to do well out of pride and love but financially and on paper he would be responsible for two people, adding to the pressure to be as successful as possible.

matching themes? personally as a disabled person, as far as guadianship and custodianship goes, i have a lot of feelings. we all experienced it when we were younger and probably felt powerless in front of our parents sometimes. so experiencing this in your adulthood is GUTTING. yet, it can be absolutely necessary. and while guardians and custodians are often looked down upon, a lot of them are family members with their heart and mind in the right place, who make good decisions for someone they love. it cannot be underestimated how much paperwork and exhausting+annoying communication with your insurance provider goes into it.

so between this and (ore-)himerus behaviour in general i see a lot of matching themes.... mostly control and perseverance and, ofc, a certain flair of being very very condescending towards the person you are supposed to protect. after all, kaname cannot make any decisions right now, not about his health or “himeru”. and perhaps one day maybe his state will change and he will suddenly be more aware of his surroundings and forced to confront what happened without his influence. and he will find that his brother made responsible comprehensible decisions when it comes to his health but, without any need or agreement, took extreme liberties when it comes to his name. they are both important parts of him and (ore-)himeru having that double responsibilty and going wild with it is scary to me. and probably also scary to him. but he is too deep into it at this point.

idk. does any of this make sense. is this interesting. personally, the added layer of pressure and drama is interesting to me. to me its like... it supports all the themes we find in himeru anyway and makes his struggles worse, it just neatly fits into place.

personal related kaname thoughts will the story ever make him more lucid? who knows! i am terrified, personally, of the possibility.

enstars has its fair share of insensitive to offensive writing and i cannot imagine this going well. i cannot imagine them writing this in a way that is respectful and includes a realistic rehab process that restores a realistic amount of physical and neurological functions. especially since... not gonna lie guys. at this point. idk how much quality of life kaname can regain in his current state.

+the added trouble he would get in because (ore-)himeru, essentially, stole his identity is straight up infuriating. i dont think i have to mention this. where do you even start and TRY to live a normal life after this shit.

and thats sad. bc i love kaname dearly. he is an extremely silly, bratty, lovable character to me and i want the best for him so i have these horribly detailed harsh expectations. maybe it will never happen and ngl, that would be perfectly fine with me, too.

disclaimer etc etc i dont know shit about the japanese health system and if you somehow happen to know how intensive long-term care for an underage person that grew up in the foster system would be financed (like, who is responsible??!?!??!?!) please let me know >:) i love learning about health systems. a lot of the stuff i wrote above is just really basic common sense, i just wanted to talk about it.

#enstarsposting #kaname tojo #yeah sure lets slap a tag on this why not

[chronic-cane]

Reading about disability, institutionalization, and the prison industrial complex and went to the chapter that focuses on forced medication.

And I was never in inpatient psychiatric care because I feared that more than death itself and put all of my energy into seeming sane enough to not be forced in there, and still got close a couple of times (I was backed into a corner and forced to go to an all day outpatient program).

I was definitely forced to take medication though, like my mom shoving Prozac into my mouth forced. I even mentioned that I was still getting suicidal thoughts, probably even more than usual, while on the medication (a common side effect I wasn't told about because I wasn't told of any side effects). My psychiatrist kept me on it for another week still and was like "well that's why we usually pair it with therapy" when it was obvious I didn't like nor trust my therapist (but that was tossed up to me being a problem patient).

And I know someone who had it much worse but that's not my story to share. It should be apparent that this happens much more to people who have legal guardians and those who are institutionalized. In what I'm reading, it's described a chemical restraint:

As a result of his [Ericks] experience, he questions the given narrative that says those labeled mentally ill are generally confused, noncompliant, and dangerous, as well as the idea that drugging people is less coercive than “locking them up.” While it could be argued that imposing drugs on people when they are violent is humane, the negative effects of drugs can last a lifetime. Drug withdrawal can make original distress treated with drugs much worse. Many people resign themselves to drugs to prevent withdrawal after they have been forced onto them. This preemptive coercion of drugs that starts the chain of dependency must be stopped. The dependency itself is a worse form of coercion than the actual restraint or “incarceration” of drugging, because it makes a person agreeable to being managed, despite what can be said of tranquilization as a form of help. Hence, it is not just the fact that drugs are ordered on patients that makes them coercive alone, but that they restrain the body and create dependency, using the body against the person, which results in an indefinite form of detention.

(Bold added by me) - If you'd like to know the book's title, it's Disability Incarcerated: Imprisonment and Disability in the United States and Canada.

Note: I am not writing this to say that no one should be using drugs for mental health, I am writing it because I know from experience that those of us seen as too mentally ill to think for ourselves are mistreated and have the most basic human rights and autonomy taken from us. If you are planning to use this to judge people who take medication, please fuck off.

#mad studies #disability

[luna-rainbow]

jdorama autumn 2022

We'll start off with the medical shows.

PICU / Paediatrics Intensive Care Unit (10.3%) Stars: Yoshizawa Ryo, Yasuda Ken

I really wanted to like this drama. Yoshizawa Ryo has improved a lot in his acting, and most of the supporting actors (Yasuda Ken, Kimura Fumino, Kikuchi Rinko) are all veterans. There are some good lessons in it - for example, the root cause analysis in the first episode, and the ethical issues of discussing treatment plans without the guardian present.

But even then, it was hard to suspend my disbelief, and it looks like people in Biei are protesting about the unrealistic portrayal of the local services. The central idea that they set up a PICU (paediatrics ICU) with ONE nurse and three doctors already threw me. Dafuq? You can't run a unit with one nurse (* not that places haven't tried), much less an 8-bedded ICU - which by definition means one on one nursing 24/7. Or even small things like doing a root cause analysis meeting immediately after a death while everyone is still upset and shaken. Yes no doubt it is important to review where things went wrong, but the most important thing (apart from checking the family is coping) is supporting your own staff's mental health, and it's not done by hounding the most junior staff until they're in tears.

Inori no Karute / The Records of Hope (6.5%) Stars: Tamamori Yuta

Like PICU, there are things I really like about this show and there are things that really threw me. Firstly, I really like how the interns were rotating between specialties. I don't know if this is a new thing in Japan, because my understanding is they used to go directly into their specialty, but I always give extra points to medical shows that make the effort to acknowledge there is more than one specialty in hospital and that in fact medical treatment isn't all surgical or crit care!

The second thing I really like is the focus on medical records (although that message seems to have gotten diluted in following episodes). Good records capture something beyond the clinical diagnosis and treatment, and it fleshes out the person -- their social supports, their way of dealing with grief and conflict, their motivations and fears. Sometimes even without the note-taker actively trying, you can glimpse these in the notes. There is value in diagnostics, there is value in good communication...but this show acknowledges there's value in historical documents that contextualises the present and gives us clues as to why someone is seeking help this time.

That said, there are lots of small things that threw me as well. Some things being disclosed when it would clearly violate privacy. Some of the interns being way too invested in the private lives of the patients (to the point it's crossing major professional boundaries). Or the fact that in the first episode, the entire friggin hospital turned up for a Code Blue. Please. You've all got work to do!

Travel Nurse (11.9) Stars: Okada Masaki, Nakai Keichi

Written by the team that brought you the 7 (or was it 9) season power fantasy Doctor X about an independent-minded anti-authoritarian doctor who did surgery for hire...comes a story about an independent-minded anti-authoritarian nurse who does...nursing for hire.

I did like: the fact that there's two main characters, and that the younger character has already made a few mistakes that gets corrected by the older one, so he's not in the "I never fail" league that Daimon Michiko is in (which gave me the shits anyway so good riddance). I have a soft spot for Okada so it's nice to see him back on TV. I also did like the introduction of nurse practitioners, which is not something you see a lot...but...

I didn't like: the idea that one nurse practitioner can do the jobs of 10 nurses is probably a little insulting to nurses. Apparently Japan doesn't recognise nurse practitioners? So the main character is legally not allowed to use his nurse practitioner skills in daily practice? So it remains to be seen why him being a nurse practitioner is relevant to the story. The scene where the older nurse was literally going to watch someone under his care suffocate until he agreed to something deemed good. Personally, this is a huge transgression. Health workers are not jury or police. Your job is to provide healing to people, not to judge their actions and decide whether they're worth saving. That's a massive slippery slope with huge ethical ramifications. Just. No.

#jdrama #jdorama #picu #inori no karute #travel nurse #yoshizawa ryo #tamamori yuta #okada masaki

[bluejaysandblackbats]

Titans Academy

Fandom: DC Comics, Titans, Arrowfam

Summary: Grant struggles to accept his new reality when Roy takes him in and enrolls him in Titans Academy. He must adjust to life at a boarding school and life with his new foster family (Roy and Lian). Can he learn to trust the people who claim to care about him? Or will he shut himself off from love altogether?

Chapters: 8/?

Characters: Grant Emerson, Roy Harper, Bart Allen, Toni Monetti, Cody Driscoll, Lian Harper, Jade Nguyen, Audrey Spears, Tommy Blake Jr.

Additional Tags: Father-Son Relationship, Boarding School AU, No Powers AU, Found Family, Second Chances, Roy Harper is a Legal Guardian, Roy Harper is a Father, POV First Person, Grant Emerson POV, Autistic Bart Allen

Chapter Eight: School Breakfast

I woke at four and dressed for school when I was well enough. I helped Lian tie her shoes and did chores with Roy. So, all the tasks students had were assigned by the week. If I had the stables one week, I had kitchen duty the next week, trash duty, and classroom cleaning, and then we would start over. Kitchen duty was intense. I started at five in the morning with Roy and Donna. They wanted me to help make breakfast. I had to make waffle batter for over a hundred kids. Four different ways. Roy sat Tommy in a high chair, and Lian refilled the napkins. "Thank you, Lian," Roy smiled. Lian nodded and stood beside me on a stool.

"You're doing a good job," Lian reassured me. I relaxed my shoulders and smiled. "Daddy's gonna be so proud of you."

"Thanks, Lian. That makes me feel good," I replied honestly.

"That's how you deserve to feel," Lian grinned. My throat went dry, and I teared up. It was the first time I'd wanted to cry since I was a kid. I hadn't cried in so long, but that did something to me. Roy picked up on it immediately.

"Hey, Grant, can you help me with one of the sign-in charts for the lunchroom?" Roy asked. I nodded and followed him to the lunchroom entrance while Donna finished making the waffles. "You alright?"

I shut my eyes until they stopped watering. "Uh-huh... Yeah... I felt weird for a second, but I'm okay now," I replied.

"What happened?" Roy asked. His voice was painfully gentle.

"Nothing... I mean... I'm not used to feeling special," I replied, "I don't know... What she said back there-. I got choked up for a second."

"Thanks for sharing that with me. I think I understand. Are you really okay, though?" Roy questioned. I nodded. "Kitchen duty kicking your backside yet?"

"I never had to cook back home. I had-. They were traditional," I replied, "So this is all new to me..."

Roy named the kids that came in, and I checked their names on the clipboard list. Bart ran straight into me, and he stopped in his tracks. "What's the matter?" Roy asked.

"I couldn't sleep. My uncle didn't call last night," Bart replied, "And I still don't know who's picking me up for the family week."

Roy looked Bart in the eye and took the clipboard from me. He flipped to the last page and wrote something down before handing the piece of paper to Bart. "But I can-."

"It's okay, Bart. If anyone needs a soft day, it's you," Roy replied, "I'll bring you your breakfast."

Bart nodded and left the cafeteria. "What's a soft day?" I asked.

"It's basically a mental health day. We all take them sometimes," Roy answered, "This school is here to build you guys up, not force you to put on smiles and pretend things are fine when they're not."

"No kiddin'... You really care about kids, don't you?" I whispered. I didn't mean to say that out loud, but I'm a dork like that.

"I care about everybody," Roy replied, "Cody, what are you doing here?"

"Got switched back to kitchen duty because some kid lost their kitchen privileges," Cody replied, "Are you supervising here today?"

"Mhm, know what that means? Wanna turn on the radio and show Grant how to set the table?" Roy asked.

"Waffles today?" Cody asked.

"Yup," Roy replied.

Cody led me back to the kitchen and turned on the radio. "So, you live with Roy and not in the dorms?" Cody asked. I nodded. "You're gonna fill the shakers for the tables with cinnamon sugar. The little kids like sprinkles, so we fill shakers with sprinkles too. I'll do the sprinkles."

Cody set out the shakers and the cinnamon sugar. "What are the dorms like?" Grant asked.

"It sucks when your roommate moves out, especially if you get along with them. I got a new roommate, but we don't talk much. People say I'm hard to get along with because I can be a jerk sometimes," Cody replied. I shrugged it off and filled the shakers. "Sorry about the other day."

"It's nothin'," I replied.

"You like living with Roy?" Cody asked. He filled the sprinkles jars so fast it made my head spin. "You'll catch up."

"It's okay... Everybody likes him here, or they're acting like it-."

"Oh no, he's as cool as everyone says," Cody replied, "He cares... I got here the same week as two other kids. Then another girl showed up a little while after. He treated us like we were his kids. He still checks in with all of us."

"And you've been here how long?" I asked.

Cody loaded all the full shakers onto two trays. "A couple of months before you. We're gonna put two of each on the table. Let me get the first table to show you," Cody explained. I followed him around and set the shakers out. Once we finished setting them out, Cody gestured for me to follow him. "We're front of the line for breakfast." I stood in line behind him, and we got the same stuff. Waffles, strawberries, sausage, and syrup. The bell rang, and kids started pouring in from all directions. A girl sat next to Cody, and she whispered something to him. He grinned.

"What?" I asked.

"She wanted to know if you were cool," Cody replied, "Audrey, this is Grant. Grant, this is Audrey... Audrey, where's Toni?"

"Caught up cleaning one of the classrooms probably... I bet you they stuck her in Health again," Audrey replied. Audrey. What a babe! But I think she had her sights set on Cody. I could tell by the way she looked at him. I don't think he saw her that way, though. I could tell by the way he looked through her when she talked. Still, I thought she was cute. "Hi, Grant. Nice to meet you," Audrey smiled as she reached to shake my hand.

"Wayyy nicer to meet you, Audrey," I grinned. Hey. Don't blame a guy for trying. Audrey dumped her container of whipped cream on her waffles and covered them in sprinkles.

"Are you staying here during family week?" Audrey asked. I nodded. "Me too. Donna's my dorm parent. It's not so bad staying here during family week. The school's like family anyway."

Cody picked over his waffles. "I said you could come home with my mom and me," Cody muttered.

"Wouldn't that be weird?" Audrey asked.

"My mom knows about you. She said it'd be okay... If it's too short notice, though, you can still come to stay with us, Driscolls, for winter break," Cody offered. Audrey smiled and nodded.

Yeah, there was no way I had a chance with her. Cody had somewhere to go. Lian put a cushion down and sat next to me. Roy put her tray down and asked me to help her while he checked in with some of the kids. "Morning, Lian," Audrey smiled.

"Good morning! Hi, Cody," Lian greeted them. I opened her butter and syrup, and she ate her fruit while I cut up her waffles into bite-sized pieces.

"How's your mom, Lian?" Cody asked.

"She went to D.C.," Lian replied, "Mommy has a big test to take."

"I hope she passes," Cody smiled.

Lian thanked him and ate her breakfast. I liked the meals. It was probably my favorite thing about the school. It wasn't quite family, but it felt pretty close.

#fic #titans academy fic #arrowfam #titans #Grant Emerson #Roy Harper #Bart Allen #Toni Monetti #Cody Driscoll #Lian Harper #Jade Nguyen #Audrey Spears #Tommy Blake Jr. #Father-Son Relationship #Boarding School AU #No Powers AU #Found Family #Second Chances #Roy Harper is a Legal Guardian #Roy Harper is a Father #POV First Person #Grant Emerson POV #Autistic Bart Allen

[deerydear]

The way I looked at the world, back then:

"Who even cares if there could be negative consequences of HRT? I want to be happy!

If I have to sacrifice my health for happiness, then..."

I remember befriending people who said that we should have a right to commit suicide, if we want to. I honestly don't know whether I have a definite opinion about this.

I remember people who would cut themselves, wanting to graphically harm themselves, blind themselves.... and they'd get pissed off about being thrown in the psychiatric ward for it.

Although, I find that relatable.

Even if the psych ward's mission is to save your life, sometimes they are staffed by people who get off on having a power trip.

Sometimes, they incarcerate people who don't really need to be there, just to charge them money for staying there. It's really gay. A luxury hotel where you have to sit in a windowless room all day. All you have are some playing cards, books, crayons and paper.

No pencils, because they stopped giving kids pencils after a girl stabbed someone with one.

Then they say, "no, you really do need to be here. You say that you don't, because you have a serious mental illness and your judgement is impaired. Trust us."

The law was unfairly on my legal guardians' side. If they could be persuaded by a greedy conman, then I was treated by them as if I were chattel.

"Don't trust your daughter. We know what's best. We're the professionals, after all!"

I was saying a lot of confusing things.

...but most of them were things that I didn't believe.

This started off being a testimony of how one can warp under pressure.

"I should have the right to kill myself. I should have the right to maim myself, grievously injure myself. I should have the right to harm myself with drugs."

What this really means, in effect:

"You should sit back and watch while I do these things. If you try to stop me, I'll scream.

You aren't allowed to care about me. Caring goes against my political code of ethics!"

Unless you alienate everyone from you, with your fucking psychopathic "code of ethics"... then there is no one to care if you kill yourself, except from afar.

A wall in-between me and them.

I typed "us" and them, but every person could be "them"-ified. I even did it with myself. I locked myself away from myself. Until I was a hollow shell of nothing.

Rereading 1984.... it's like a mirror. It's like Winston was writing from inside my mind, like he was living in me.

I was originally just going to make a joke that this was my old "transition goal":

EXCEPT, IT REALLY KIND OF WAS!

NOT IN A 'GENDER' SENSE, BUT IN MY VISION OF MYSELF.

I WANTED TO BE A TESTAMENT. I WANTED TO BE COLD MARBLE, ENGRAVED WORDS... NEVER FORGET ME.

I wanted to sacrifice everything.

I wanted to become proof of a concept.

Except, I've always been a breathing, pretty girl... blushing like a flower.

The flowers come up, the bugs taste their sweet nectar, the ovary swells with seeds, the petals wilt, the next generation springs up in the next year. It's a gorgeous dance, full of color, form, groove, music....

Why would you give this up to try to become a cold marble statue that sits alone in a museum all day?

In our museum collection: An old, worn picture of the suffragettes marching for freedom.

I have kept returning to that article about bearing false witness.

I see such a parallel with the online feminist groups that I've been a part of. Armchair activism. Yeah, there's people that actually make a difference. There's people out there serving the needy and helping people out of bondage.

...but at least on tumblr, "men" becomes synonymous with "patriarchs" and thus "woman-haters" and then from there your imagination may take you on a ride. It's like stepping into a completely different life.

...but just the way that other people write, "as a woman...", or "as women, we..."

To me, it's so...

Although, I feel like my attitude towards "online activism" was quite selfish.... I wanted to go blame this on the fact that I was twelve, but I know there are people who wouldn't have become the way that I did, if they were twelve at the time.

"Tumblr"

Can I blame tumblr?

Do you blame a fish for being entranced by an anglerfish's light? ...but wouldn't I be an anglerfish, too? Yin and yang...

We aren't actually predator and prey. We're authors, writing on computers.

Ahhhh... I think that my problem is that I kept the framework of "oppressor" vs. "oppressed"; which in neutered-SJW-speak seems to mean, "big meany butthead" and "innocent person who could never do harm, and never has. O sinless lamb."

I do question whether some people's Christian upbringing influence how they view politics, even if they renounced their faith.

I don't think the fact of Christian faith is the problem, I think that it's HOW you understand it.

That's so... unattractive to someone who wants to be a mindless consumer. "Buy buy buy! The instant cure to take away your sins! Fix your problems!"

No, but it's really a more intricate question. You have to discern truth from falsity.

The Devil doesn't create anything. He doesn't have the power of creation. He can only twist things that already have existed. He tries to twist Truth a little bit, so it doesn't fit into its socket anymore. This is how the Devil tries to take apart the machine.

Then he says, "oh, we need to rebuild the entire machine to fit around this twisted joint! Create a twisted reality to fit an injury!"

Instead of going back and just fixing the joint which was working smoothly and properly, before he deliberately injured it.

Is there any clear winner?

#lmao

[ithappensblog]

Trigger Warning: Childhood SA In my previous posts, I briefly touched on my battle with PTSD, yet I never delved into the specifics behind it. I feel compelled to share my story with the hope of offering solace to others who may be silently suffering from similar experiences. I want you to understand you are not alone in your struggles. I want you to know it's never too late to break the silence and confront the past. And if people are uncomfortable with YOUR TRUTH, that's on them.

It was 8 years ago (yesterday) that I faced my abuser in a courtroom. 8 whole years since my truth was spoken, and since he finally faced consequences for his disgusting actions. 8 years I have spent healing from the damage he caused me.

While ideally, family members and trusted adults should be the guardians of our well-being, regrettably, this is not always the reality. More often than not, when a child is $e><ually a8u$ed, it's by someone they know. Someone they are supposed to be able to trust. I don’t want to share the details of what he did to me and others, but I will tell you this much. My "grandfather" was a monster who preyed on his own grandchildren and violated childhood innocence. He abused his authority and had a fucking sick obsession to harm children in unspeakable ways.

The trauma I suffered as a child scarred me deeply. To cope with the pain, I turned to harmful habits like overeating, hurting myself and being $e><ually reckless. I was diagnosed with PTSD, underwent a series of trials with various medications, grappled with nightmares that jolted me awake and triggering debilitating panic attacks. In the midst of it all, I found myself diagnosed with OCD, and the reality of attempting to end my life on multiple occasions. Depression sucks.

Now here I am, 8 years later. Despite the countless moments when surrender seemed tempting, I persevered. Yet, the imprints of mental and physical wounds will never fade, destined to accompany me throughout my lifetime.

The battle with weight, a lifelong yo-yoing struggle, endures despite resorting to gastric bypass surgery, thanks to years of abusing food. My arms, hands, and legs are covered in scars from years of an addiction to c|_|tting. Scars that I have to see every single day; scars that I will one day have to explain to my daughter. I have been with more people than I care to admit, seeking validation from anyone who showed me a hint of affection. Some of them abused my trust and hurt me deeply, but that is a tale for another time. I am grateful that I survived those encounters without catching a serious illness or losing my life.

My path to healing is indebted to my husband, as his unwavering support played a huge role in breaking the cycle I endured for so many years. Upon sharing my struggles with him when we met, he motivated me to pursue legal action. He urged me to seek mental health services, providing a helpful presence as I navigated these challenges. Whether consoling me through tearful nights or ensuring I took my medication, he selflessly cared for me during moments when self-care felt unattainable.

All of this to say, In Ontario, there is no statute of limitations for SA, and it's never too late to speak your truth. If pursuing legal action is not the path you want to take, consider it a duty to your future self to embark on a journey of mental and physical healing. Don't give up on yourself because of something someone else did to you. Do not allow your darkest moments to become victories for those who have wronged you.

You are not alone. There are better days ahead.

#blogger #millennials #canada #sudbury #ontario #canadian #borninthe80s #adhd #ptsd #ptsdrecovery #ocd #actuallyocd #ocdrecovery #bingeeating #bingeeatingdisorder #eatingdisorder #edawareness #selfharm #selfharmawareness #mentalhealth #mentalhealthrecovery #mentalhealthawareness

[stardusted-queerness]

Going No-Contact

I see a lot of people who think going nc is something that anybody can do, for the smallest of reasons. And - while it is - it's rarely the case.

People who go nc typically do so because it's their last option. I know it was for me. I couldn't handle the psychological effects and the subtle threats anymore, and - despite this couple housing me for the last year and a half and getting me out of an outright abusive situation, I couldn't continue the relationship and - having moved out already - I blocked both of them, made a new Facebook so they couldn't contact me anymore, and set out in my new life.

Going nc has definitely been beneficial to me, but you wanna know something? The first few weeks, I was constantly watching the cameras, praying that they wouldn't show up (they knew where I was living). Even after almost a year after blocking them and moving on, I still get scared if I see a black Honda. I still carry a pocketknife, not only because the town I live in is rampant with crime, but because I'm terrified they will show up and try to interact with me. They physically scare me, even after almost a year of no contact with them.

A lot of people think that someone going no contact is typically because of something stupid, like someone not agreeing with their mother over the flowers to use at a party. But it's not. People who go nc do it because it is their absolute last option. The people who go nc have dealt with years and years of abuse, have tried and tried to get things to settle down and be less abusive and have tried to compromise countless times. It never works.

I realised I needed to go no contact after I found out that my male guardian had gone through my old Facebook account after I was 18 and had moved out of their home. I wasn't under their care anymore and I wasn't being helped by them. I was legally an adult.

Going no contact was the hardest decision in those relationships. I felt indebted to that couple because they saved me from a much worse situation when they didn't need to. They spent well over 3k on me, between feeding me and birthdays. They housed me when there was no gauranteed benefit from it (although they managed to convince me to start working (even though I was already legally blind) and kept taking half or even my entire check to "pay for bills"). These people saved me from a situation that was 10x worse than anything that happened with them.

At the same time, I was on over 13 different medications while I was with them. I could barely stay awake and keeping a train of thought for more than 30 seconds was a struggle. I was barely functioning as a human. Within 3 months of moving out, I was off all my meds, except my sleep medication and my birth control. I was on 2 presribed meds and 1 over the counter medication (Melatonin).

Since going no contact, I've felt more free than I ever have. I'm no longer worrying about fights, or trying to protect my female guardian, or worrying that they're going to go through my stuff, or any number of things. I've gotten off of most of my meds and I'm working with a doctor to make sure I'm taking only what I need and that what I'm taking will help me. I've explored myself more and realised that I'm aboy, traumatised asexual, and aromantic. I realised that I have more trauma than I realised, and that I have more mental health issues than I wanted to accept, and I finally accepted that I'm physically disabled and I will never work again. Going no contact was the best goddamn thing I could've done, but it took a lot of courage and energy.

#real life #no contact #real talk #lgbtq #aboy #nonbinary #asexual #transmasc #trauma #mental health #family #my guardians

[manleycollins]

Journal Entry #69 - End of Year Nine (9) out of Ten (10) in Massachusetts

JOURNAL ENTRY #69 Name: Manley M Collins Social Security Number: 5 7 9 – * * – 6 5 4 1 Date of Birth: 06/21 Place of Birth: Washington, District of Columbia Country of Birth: United States of America Date: December 30, 2021

TOPIC: End of Year Nine (9) out of Ten (10) in Massachusetts

A Mental Health Moment regarding Schizophrenia and Mental health conditions

With the New York June 21, 2022 incident, I did not know what was happening. From May 2022 to June 2022, I still planned my trip to New York, but while in Boston, Massachusetts Department of Corrections van kept crossing my path everywhere I was going. I was trying to do the USATF volunteer background check, I was prevented from going through the process. New York situation happened and my best advice for grown men and women is to stay the f*ck away. Suffolk County sheriff van starting to do the same thing especially after speaking the MGH or BMC physicians. In reflection on all the law enforcement reports and court cases I filed, every last one has been closed, and very little to no investigation, and the Judges let the folks go and try to state the situations never happened. Massachusetts has this "do not listen, do not care," attitude. It was a little bit overwhelming seeing the violators of the Ten Commandments, the authorities look on, and everything done in a central location and freely able to do what they want.

After New York situation, I do not support or condemn the role of those who are on Earth to purposely violate the Ten Commandments. I do not support or condemn the role of those who I was raised to understand they were classified as good or right to enforce the laws of the land. I am in no position to judge people habits and choices, but I am going to be the defender of 'ME' physically, emotionally, socially, and mentally. I am the boss of 'ME'. After the Warning Talk as a grown adult male and grown adult female, you choose to still violate 'ME' and create problems for 'ME', then initially I have every right to grab anything I want on you, such as breast, dick, pussy, butt, and chest. I no longer care if you have a wife, children, husband, boyfriend, girlfriend, pet, etc. As my previous posts, emails, and communications that went out directly to the offenders, do not let me grab, then I will beat, punish and pummel you for not listening to your parents/guardians, your teachers/coaches/administrators, the law, and your friends that told you, "do not touch anyone you do not know." Any bystanders want to stop the punishment, get punished too.

Pine Street Inn, St. Francis House, and Southampton had street drugs being dealt, cigarettes being dealt, medications being dealt, drunks that had to down the alcohol before coming into the shelter, collectors of junk, trash diggers, no personal hygiene, fights, physical health problems without appropriate healthcare, sexual offenders, mental health people, illegal immigrants or migrants, thieves, killers, murderers, adulterers, barter and trade anything, got a vehicle and asking for money on the street, anything you can name that was not in the rule book or in the rule book was happening. Yes, when Massachusetts community angered me, I reported to federal government, state government, local government, congress, and all the level of authorities, but I was the one that got done when I thought telling was going to get the help people needed.

Now I purposely understand how grown adults work, I will remain to myself, minding my business, let others go through their own misfortunes, and never expect anyone to think or be like me. I am an independent thinker and decision maker as the boss of 'ME'. Yes, I did not know, but now I see, read, and know about grown adults in real life experience. Just do not do me after New York situation or try to validate true life of a criminal or criminology or anything other new/old fields of the legal/law of the United States of America.

Yes, after all the stuff I bought with my money and the stuff I have now is called 'junk', useful for its purpose and simply discarded.

I was learning the Upwork app and how to get projects.

I mailed off my Social Security Insurance application to Massachusetts General Hospital to file on my behalf. I had my interviews. I had more paperwork and verification I had to complete.

Citibank sent me a letter stating the accounts were going to be inactive so I made some USPS money order deposits.

I researched the supply needed as Group Fitness instructor while going through the NASM course. I passed my NASM AFAA Group Fitness Instructor exam on the second try. I learned about virtual coaching.

Therapy and Psychiatrist with Arbour Counseling Services topics were (Previous Journal topics - I just was repeating them to new people verbally)

Power of Habit thought process - Cue > Routine > Reward Success in a new position - Harvard Business Review article Bias in customer service - Harvard Business Review article Loss of Federal Express job Court case in Chicago - Learning Chicago's process Saw Los Angeles Lakers leave Four Seasons hotel in Boston

Dreams are very normal and playful. It is very good since the 1990s. Happy feeling or emotion. It started happening in 2020s in South Carolina, but since I threw everything back to the universe, emotions and feelings seem to return back to the days of Atlanta, Georgia in the 1990s except there is no schizophrenia, depression, or bipolar disorder. PTSD is still high.

Had a dream after telling someone (a physical conversation) in Zumba class about family fights. Sunday night/Monday morning. I am fighting with my own family from Washington, DC yelling get out of my house.

Dreams are sequencing up to some fantasy until 3:00 am or 4:00 am when going to urinate in the bathroom, then I go back or try to sleep - the same dream turns into a nightmare - not a true, scary nightmare - just horrible anger.

I am physically losing locks and small items to make me spend money.

Learned a famous alumnus from South Carolina State University named Lewis Berry passed away five (5) years ago. One of my favorite Cross Elementary School teachers Martha Dupree passed away on Monday.

Talking about the librarians. Elise try to state something South Carolina sent me a year ago regarding stealing my identity. She doesn't know in my world that after April 3, 2016 that angry context goes back to her.

New York University either is playing with my intelligence or just money hungry.

While doing another trim down of connection in FaceBook, another death is Orlando Brown, football player from South Carolina State and Baltimore Ravens.

When I was a process server serving documents to MassPort (Massachusetts Bay Port Authority) and the individuals at Federal Express Logan Airport job location, I took photos and submitted it to court using ProofServe templates.

Other Topics from Fall and Winter of 2021:

I had to consult with a Boston Bar Association attorney for counseling on how to proceed with my Massachusetts civil suits, and proceeding properly with Massachusetts Commission Against Discrimination with Federal Express and Boston Public Health Commission.

I also fought with Federal Express Human Resources regarding wrongful termination so it was a total of three (3) fights with one organization, but I let fighting to come back to Federal Express go.

Grubhub kept coming to mind to bring back as an employer. It was tough to update all my information and bring the online.

I joined Chowbus and they kept sending me on very long trip from Chinatown.

I researched Harvard University Extension School French courses.

I maxed out my Apple storage as I kept playing with the Free and going to a paid service to backup my Apple iPhone. I did ask if Apple had anyway to restore other Apple devices from other machines. Apple stated no and if it is not saved in the cloud, there is no way to recover it.

I donated to Boston Public Library based on utilizing their resources, and donated to St. Francis House and Massachusetts General Hospital.

I am grateful for all the attorneys and judges, who did attempt to educate me the other way through the responses and consulting. As I have come to terms, I did not go to school or obtain the debt to enter that field of work. The efiling judicial systems was very helpful and efficient, even though I showed up to United States District Court of Eastern Massachusetts almost every one (1) or two (2) weeks filing something.

I opened my electronic accounts with Massachusetts Department of Revenue.

I saw The Matrix Resurrections at AMC Theatres.

I got my COVID-19 third vaccination from McInnis Health Clinic (Boston HealthCare for the Homeless Program).

The emails discontinued from Pastor Tom Johnson, St. Luke Lutheran Church, but I just checked an old email. He is still posting the sermons and messages. I am in tune with Pastor Joel and Victoria Osteen Ministries after disconnecting and removing membership from First Baptist Church of the City of Washington.

I purchased a protein bar from the Vengo new type of gym canteen.

United States Postal Service and Federal Express was getting plenty of delivery, package, and mail traffic.

I registered for Microsoft Ignite to learn what was happening with Microsoft technologies.

I retrieved District of Columbia Certificate of Good Standing for my small business, when Catalant needed it for my profile.

Bank of America Advisory Panel still trying to inquire where all the money is stored to make its product and services better, or take advantage of BOA services.

I had to synchronize Boston Housing Authority Leased Department and Public Housing, when they were requesting the same documents.

Gilbert Indoor Range reminders let me know I need to obtain my Massachusetts plus Multi State Concealed Carry or Open Carry Gun license.

After all this, Happy Diwali, Happy Hanukkah, Merry Christmas, Feliz Navidad, Happy Kwanzaa, and Happy New Year.

#manley marvell collins #microsoft #federal express #southampton #grown adults #grown men #grown women #grown female #ten commandments #gilbert indoor range #boston #massachusetts #gun #concealed carry gun permit #open carry #vengo #happy new year #merry christmas #nasm #afaa

[savagecuhnt]

🪤🙈🌌🎵👑📎 [ for rose ]

🪤 MOUSE TRAP - what will always lure them into certain danger? a loved one in danger? a promise of something they are always searching for? This is a hard one. Rose gravitates towards danger like moth to a flame. She has a sort of god complex and will put herself in dangerous situations just to see if she'll make it out on top, not caring if she doesn't survive, but of course, she does...As much of a savage as she may think she is, she will always be quick to sacrifice herself for a loved one...So I will agree to the idea of a loved one in danger luring her to her demise.

🙈 SEE-NO-EVIL - whats a side of your oc that they don't want to show other people? any side that shows weakness. No matter the relationship, she refuses to fully allow anyone to see just how fragile she is and once was. From her childhood trauma, to who she was before her abilities...it's a side she locks away deep within, refusing to allow herself and for other's to see her that weak ever again.

🌌 MILKY WAY - what was the inspiration behind your oc? what was the first thing you decided about them? Rose was a VERY different OC when I first created her (original concept comes from a dream I had in middle school that I later wrote short stories of, then my bestfriend introduced me to tumblr and the Rp community and so I decided to bring her back and rewrite her character). She was learning to deal with her trauma and depression as a normal human being. She used to work in a coffee shop and paint, she would have nightmares and visions and soon I slowly began to transform her...There was a point I made a side blog for an alternative version of her named ROSIE POSIE, who was pretty much an unhinged, abusive, psychotic, selfish dickhead... after a lot of plotting and rewriting, she has now become the Oc she is today!

🎵 MUSIC NOTE - what is their playlist like? their favourite artists? do you associate a particular song with them? uhhh, I never really focus too much on her music, usually only focusing on songs that help me visualize scenes with her. Placebo-Every you and every me I feel is a good song that represents her outlook on love and just how selfish she is, Marilyn manson-The nobodies is a good one, In this moment-Adrenelize. i would like to think Rose listens to a lot of grunge, industrial goth, and rock. It all really depends her mood! (had to add this one PIXIES-WHERE IS MY MIND)

👑 CROWN - what does your oc want to be remembered as? why? At this point in her life I don't think she cares to be remembered. She would love to forget herself. I think her dream would be to finally die and simply drift into nothingness. She has a lot of self hate, a lot of unanswered questions about her past, and nothing tying her to this world....but there's also that part of her that wants power and respect and to not have to live in the shadows...in the project version of her, she wants to just live how she wants with no repercussions, no responsibilities, just living in the moment with her loved ones doing what they do best wreaking havock.

📎 PAPERCLIP - a random fact. she grew up in a psychiatric hospital, at first only because her legal guardian was a nurse there and they had no place to stay so the head administrator offered them a room in the basement...not too long after, Rose was hospitalized to keep her from speaking of the unspeakable things done to her while staying there. She was meant to look crazy, when she wasn't, which slowly manifested real mental health issues.

#heartxshaped-bruises #answered #THANK YOU FOR THESE!

[goggles-mcgee]

I need some high end Winchester approved demon repellent Salt for Class/Parents that end in death/jail 😂

My mental health is okay 👍 I just want ANGSTY DEAD DEMON REPELLENT SEASALT FICS

Please 🥺

Oh I may have some more ideas in the works 👀

I will tell you about this high salt one to keep you salted and hopefully quench that thirst.

Marinette is getting tired of how things are going in school and how things are starting to get at home. Her parents are getting on her for causing problems at school because they are "very busy with the shop" and they are pressuring her more and more to be the "perfect daughter you were before." She's just straight up exhausted. She's tired of having to be the perfect daughter, the perfect student, the perfect friend.

Her aunt, Sabine's sister Bridgette, and her new husband, Felix move to Paris and when they invite Marinette over to their new house (they invited the Tom and Sabine but apparently they were too busy preparing for an upcoming catering gig and just couldn't spare any time but they would take a rain check.) Marinette certainly wasn't expecting her aunt to be living in a mansion!

Bridgette and Felix are rich, but both worked for their fortune and stability. During the tour and the dinner that followed Marinette finally broke down and told her aunt and her new uncle everything that was going on. She didn't mean to but when Uncle Felix asked how she liked school and how being the Class President was, she just snapped. She told them how she felt pressured by her parents but at the same time felt neglected, she told them the whole Lila situation had just gotten worse and how she was basically forced to remain as the Class President by her teacher and peers. She told them that she was cracking and she felt like there was no way to stop it.

Both are shocked and feel heartbroken at the speed their niece broke down and brought herself together again because of Hawkmoth which was a whole other can of worms they had questions about. Bridgette is mad at her sister for not listening to her daughter and just caring about her image and her and her husband's shop. And Felix is pissed that the school continued to do nothing.

"I didn't have perfect attendance last week and Maman and Papa threatened to take the door to my room, but when I tried to explain why my attendance wasn't the best they didn't listen! They sent me up to room without dinner!" Marinette cried and Bridgette saw red. One thing Bridgette and Sabine's mama had always taught them, was to never be stingy when it came to food.

Felix couldn't believe they would threaten to take their teenage daughter's door away, her privacy!

They ask her what she wants, not what others want or what she thinks is realistic, what she wants. And she tells them she had been wanting to transfer schools since her past few attempts to change classes never went through or well with her teacher and her parents, because what she wanted was "too much trouble" and why couldn't she "be the bigger person."

She tells them, in all honesty, that she had thought about running away at times because she didn't think her parents wanted her unless she was perfect. Bridgette had looked at Felix when her niece said that and she knew he understood the look in her eye that they would do anything to make sure Marinette didn't run away.

She tells them she just wanted a break from her responsibilities, from having to always be the bigger person, the idol, the hero. After that she falls asleep and Bridgette wasted no time taking her to a guest room and tucking her in.

Her and Felix are discussing everything they heard and they decide they want to become Marinette’s legal guardians. It would be a bumpy road but no kid deserved to feel like they had the weight of the world on their shoulders. It's while they're doing this that an akuma attacks and both are surprised when this floating red thing comes down with earrings and explains that their niece, their TEENAGE niece is the hero of Paris. But the thing looks so heartbroken when she says Marinette needs help that Bridgette doesn't even hesitate to take the earrings.

That night a new Ladybug was seen.

After that night things get set in motion. Bridgette and Felix talk to Marinette about her being Ladybug and everything else and that they want to help her. She almost breaks down again.

It starts small, with Marinette moving things she has bought with her own money to her aunt and uncle's house. Her parents don't even notice.

Then Bridgette and Felix help her transfer schools. When she needed her parents signatures on some documents she recorded them signing the papers, she also recorded them complaining how she was bothering them.

She transfers schools without her parents noticing and with her class thinking she's sick or just ditching.

She's almost fully moved in with her aunt and uncle when Bridgette has to do something that hurts but needs to be done. She starts getting things in order so her and Felix can adopt Marinette.

When Marinette is too tired or they feel like she needs a break, Bridgette assumes the role of Ladybug.

It's only after Mlle Bustier calls Sabine to ask if Marinette is sick that Sabine and Tom notice she hasn't been home for a maybe at least a week. When they go up to her room they see things are missing. It's when Sabine calls her sister to find her "reckless irresponsible daughter" that Bridgette tells them that her and Felix want to adopt Marinette and that they all need to come together and talk.

Sabine and Tom are baffled. They go for dinner at Bridgette's place, Marinette isn't there, Bridgette and Felix told her she should go out with her new friends. Who would have guessed she transferred to Luka's school?

Tom and Sabine react badly to Bridgette and Felix going behind their backs and helping Marinette "run from her problems." But Bridgette and Felix do not take it and they tell them they are helping Marinette get out of unhealthy environments. They talk about adopting Marinette and that it would just take Sabine and Tom signing the papers but both aren't having it.

Felix said they were more than prepared to take them to court if that's what they wanted. But he hints that is something they definitely don't want.

They don't listen. They get outted in court as being neglectful, and not paying their daughter for all the work she did in their shop, and other things they did not expect. Especially since they told Nadja about the case and gave her permission to report about it since they are well known people in Paris. Public opinions of them takes a dive. Bridgette and Felix become Marinette’s new legal guardians.

The class get mad that Marinette abandoned them and when they see her out with her new friends they become livid. It was an accident but they do end up injuring Marinette which gets a lot of them in big trouble. They also end up being sued by the cafe they decided to confront Marinette in due to vandalism that happened in the accident.

Adrien keeps trying to get Marinette to talk to him, any version of him, and basically starts to stalk her to the point Bridgette and Felix ask her if she wants a restraining order against him because they have caught him on their security camera following Marinette home, standing outside their gates waiting for her, they also see Chat Noir doing this too.

Gabriel is pissed and tries to persuade them not to do it as it would ruin his and his son's image but they aren't budging.

Adrien does get the ring taken away.

He also gets a restraining order against him! :D

Bridgette and Felix decided to take legal action against Marinette's former school due to their treatment of her and the way they handle bullies and akumas.

M Damocles and Mlle Bustier face legal charges.

As does on Lila Rossi who's actions come to light but she does not go down without a fight and ends up revealing she was working with HM. She does go to jail for working with a terrorist and other charges.

Nathalie dies due to all the stress going on and because of her use of the Peacock Miraculous. She "disappears" which launches an investigation on Gabriel himself.

More stuff happens but this is getting very long XD working title of this is "Little Ladybird Fly Home"

#ml salt fic #ml class salt #tom and sabine salt #adrien agreste salt #lila rossi salt #goggles answers #goggles answer #goggles ask

[maracujatangerine]

11. Consultation

CW: institutionalised slavery, dehumanisation, medical treatment, torture

“So, what do you think? Will he live?” Lydia smiled at her own pale joke. The doctor nodded her head thoughtfully from side to side in that particularly Indian gesture that Lydia fondly had tried to mimic, but never could get quite right. A strand of Indira’s thick, black hair falling out and curling down the side of her face. “As long as we take good care of him, he will heal. He is in bad shape, but at least there are no signs of neurological damage. Lydia, I’m a doctor, not a prosecutor, but I think I know torture when I see it. The injuries to his back, obviously. Those small wounds on the side of his neck, they are burn marks. The scars around his wrists and ankles are pretty deep, he has probably been tied up a lot.” She looked grim. “He has small scars on the soles of his feet. I bet he’s been whipped. It is a practice often used in torture because it is so painful.” She shrugged, as if she wanted to shake off the mental image. Her filigree earrings glinted in the light from the window. “I’ll come by tomorrow to change the dressings on his back. It should heal up all right, but he will get more scars. His left shoulder is busted. Have you seen how he favours it when he moves?” Lydia nodded. “It’s hard to say for sure without x-rays, but my guess is that it has been dislocated and badly reset, perhaps more than once. I would recommend physiotherapy for that, eventually. He’s quite underweight and probably malnutritioned. Apart from breakfast, lunch and dinner, it would be good if you can get him to eat some smaller meals during the whole day for the coming weeks. His body will adjust better in that way.” Lydia nodded. “I’ll get right on that. Is there anything else I should think about?” The doctor thought for a moment. “Plenty of rest is important too. He should be fine with light exercise, such as going for walks, but nothing more strenuous as of yet. I’ll get back to you about the tests.” Lydia hesitated. “Do you think this is right?  Us making decisions about his health in this way without consulting him?” Indira frowned. “No, it is not right. But if we ask him, what will he say?” Lydia made a face. “Yes, Miss Lydia.” She mimicked the boxie’s soft, hesitant tone. “He doesn’t seem to be able to make choices for himself right now, and you are his legal guardian. You need to make sure he’s well taken care of, until he can make those decisions on his own.” The doctor stood up to go, wrapping Lydia in a warm hug. “You’ve got this. Well, we’ve got this. I’ll help you.” She grinned, suddenly. “I mean, you did want to help someone, it just became a bit more hands-on than you had expected.” Lydia laughed, despite herself. “Thanks. But yes, you are right. We’ll be fine.” She smiled, too. “Thanks Indira, I don’t know what I would do without you.”

Tag list: @cupcakes-and-pain @redwingedwhump @haro-whumps @neuro-whump @whumpzone @cowboy-anon @pinkraindropsfell @whump-me-all-night-long @whumptywhumpdump @theydy-cringeworthy @wh-wh-whu @bloodsweatandpotato @myst-in-the-mirror @carnagecardinal @eatyourdamnpears 

*

And thank you all for likes, follows, reblogs, tag requests, comments and all sorts of feedback! I am used to writing for the drawer, so getting response like this is just amazing for me. You guys are awesome! ❤️

#pet whump #pet whumpee #pet-whump #conditioned whumpee #bbu #box boy multiverse #box boy whump #box boy #box boy universe #rescue whump #caretaker #original writing #medical whump #lydia and coriander