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gallusrostromegalus · 7 months

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ok so re: sternritter i gotta ask, whats the plan for my girl gigi? she's a horrible awful gremlin baby but i cannot help but love her immortal tgirl swag.

also, are there any sternritter who got incredibly underused in the story that you've significantly rewritten so far?

As it stands, Gigi gets to live, but she is going to have to sit through a VERY unpleasant lecture about how yes, Gender is Fake, Political Organizations are Fake, and to an extent the 'Line' between living and dead is fake but Bodily Autonomy and Informed Consent are VERY, VERY REAL and you will *fucking* respect them because the Gotei-13 is the home of monsters.

For better or for worse, the person she's getting the lecture from is Tama Nikuya

---

Tama: Sure, you're a Monster too, Miss Gewelle -that's why I like you so much and am even extending you this offer- but I promise there are much worse things serving in the Guard than were dreamt of in your philosophy. Horrors, artificial and natural alike, well within the comprehension of your intellect regardless of gender, but no less awful. Worse, perhaps, because you understand what's going to happen if you put one drop of blood out of line-

Gigi, twitching: Urrgh!

Tama: Don't gurgle at me in that tone! Tama: You do understand, don't you?

(warning for body horror, parasitism, mind/body control, discussions of violence, transphobia and abuse under the cut) (Bleach is a pretty dark series and the Fic is E-rated accordingly)

Gigi, shaking her head as much as she can: Nglk!

Tama: What part don't you understand?

Gigi: Thzzg-? ThhZomg-!?

Tama, head cocked sideways, squinting as she tries to make sense of what Gigi is saying: 'the zog-'? The Zombie? Oh for fucks sake Gigi, we're well past that.

Gigi: Bugh-? Haaauuuu?

Tama: Alright alright, if it will help. The Zombie relies on some of your blood reaching my brain, or replacing a large portion of my own blood with yours, through which you exert your reiki, and thus control my body, right?

Gigi, Blinking Slowly: ... Gigi: Haugh- Haugh gid you vigure thad oud??

Tama, taking a deep, disappointed sigh: Babygirl, it's not that hard. That's very basic Spiritual Dominion magic. Don't get me wrong, you're very good at it and the sheer number of targets you can control is really impressive but as far as techniques go, it's not terribly complex or hard to counter.

Tama, Gestuting at where Gigi is awkwardly kneeling on the floor, paralyzed: Take the thing you've got- that's an enhanced strain of Ophiocordyceps unilateralis- you've heard of Cordyceps, I'm sure- that I've worked with to function inside humans- REAL pain in the ass by the way, Humans are insanely immune to infection and parasitism compared to most organisms-

Akon, holding an extremely large laser gun, not currently cocked but still at the ready: This is your requested reminder to stay on topic, Sir.

Tama: What? Oh, thanks- but Cordyceps is fun because instead of bothering to control the half-assed mess that is a mammal's neural system, it straight-up structurally takes over the large muscle groups! Just suppress the autoimmune response enough by giving the fungus an antihistamine release function too, and that sucker can crawl into every major support structure you have in under a week!

Akon: Yeah, I'm not sure 'Fun' is the right word here.

Tama: Don't knock it until you've tried it!

Akon, debating becoming the server technician for the 9th again: I'll take your word for it, Sir.

Tama, poking Gigi's arm just below where a long spire of the fungus is sprouting out of her shoulder, one of several growing out of her body and impacting her ability to move, including speaking: I'd say you're about 40% Fungus by weight right now, mostly your skeletal muscles, and those do what I say, which is why you're sitting down and listening while I try to change your mind. Tama, giving Gigi an encouraging thumbs up: -And why you still have a mind for me to change! Tama, giving Gigi a comforting pat on the shoulder next to the fungal spire: I have a lot of faith in your ability to make the right choices when presented with all the information, Miss Gewelle. If I thought I had to change your mind for you, I'd have pulled out the Hypomyces lactifluorum!

Gigi, watching Akon visibly shudder behind Tama: ...uhh. Gigi: Bugh. The Zomgee..?

Tama: Oh, right, The Zombie. Yes, yes- Reiki Domination is pretty tough to resist, especially from someone in your spiritual weight class, but, ah- Well, you've run into two big problems here Gigi.

Tama, sitting down on the floor next to Gigi: First problem is the use of blood as an infection mechanism. Tama, cheerfully, as though giving constructive criticism in an introductory art class: Honestly? Not a bad choice! Blood-bourne infections are some of the hardest to resist, and Forigen Reiki is a PAIN to purge from the bloodstream unless you flush the entire system. Most people, as you have seen, are doomed!

Tama, wincing: ...But I'm not most people. Tama, pondering: ... Come to think of it "People" might be a more correct term for what I am, but my situation is pretty radically different from "most" people!

Gigi, still defiant: Whad- Whaddafug ARE yu?

Tama, gesturing to indicate the situation is about as clear as mud, or morphology-based taxonomy: I- Well. It's long and not really all that funny story, but I got stuck on the wrong side of a a version of the Kodoku Bug Thunderdome curse- you know, the inside- for over eight hundred years with a whole mess of Hollows, Obake, and other nasty things and I went to some pretty extreme measures to survive. Tama, with a sad sigh: To make a long story short- I don't have blood anymore. Or a brain. Tama, frowning in contemplation: ...Or I'm ALL brain, it sort of depends on your definition of 'brain'-

Akon: Topic, Sir.

Tama: Thanks Akon! -But from my perspective, your blood is just another snack with a little bit of Reiki spice on top! Which brings me to your other problem.

Tama: You hit hard Gigi! Real hard! And you really should be proud of the degree of concentration you have! But like I said, the Gotei-13 is the home of monsters, and there wasn't exactly a burger joint or an opportunity to farm inside the Kodoku. ...I survived because I kind of literally ate things like you for breakfast, lunch and dinner.

[There is a long moment of silence as Gigi processes that statement, it's earlier compainion statement about what Gigi's blood was like for Tama, and the general implication of those on Gigi's circumstances]

Gigi: ...Gid I daste gud?

Tama, ears flicking up to listen better: What's that?

Gigi: Uck! Gigi, wide eyed with terror but somehow this situation has not ended in catastrophe yet, and she might be riding the adrenaline as far as it will go: ...Gid I datse good?

Tama: HAH!

Akon, turning around because he can't face this at 7AM without coffee: NO!!

Tama, teasing: Yes, you do taste very good, or at least the aperitif of blood you threw in the thing I use as a face did!

Gigi, giggling a bit in fear like a Hyena: Oh! Dhad'z Good! Gigi, stopping as the rest of the sentence catches up with her: Waid. Gigi: Whad Do you MEANg, 'ting you uze az a fage'? Gigi, with increasing horror: Whag- Whag ARE You?

Tama, giving Gigi a light, encouraging punch in the shoulder: You're a smart girl Gigi! You can figure it out if you put your mind to it! Tama, counting off the datapoints on her paw-pads: I don't have blood, or a brain, I lived underground with nothing but corpses to eat for a few centuries and my go-to restraint method is a parasitic...

Gigi, a horrible new world of possibilities opening to her like the lid coming off a tub of very expired sour cream: ...Mu-Mushgroom?

Tama, giving her two thumbs up: You got it! Tama: "Mushroom" is probably more specific than you intended, but you're not wrong! The part of me standing here lecturing you is more or less the organ I use for sex and sometimes paperwork!

Akon: Speaking of, the division W-2's still need to go out-

Tama: Akon, we're in the middle of an apocalypse. If the council tries to make everyone pay taxes on time this year, the Old Man won't have the chance to burn the government chambers down before the peasants do it for him. Chillax.

Tama, returning her attention to Gigi: It's probably why I'm so cheerful and down to party too! You know. Because I'm a *Fungi*!

Gigi, staring blankly: ...

Tama, wilting a bit: -A. Fun? Guy? A Fungi?

Gigi, starting to cry big, ugly genuine tears: Uh-uh-uuuuuhhhnnn...

Tama, trying to console Gigi with a hug that definitely makes things worse: ...You're right it'd probably be funnier if you didn't have a parasitic fungus rapidly taking over your person and forcing you to sit still and listen to a genuine freak of science tell you about Cannibalism. Tama, giving Gigi a little shake of encouragement: But you see how this makes my point, right? This isn't very fun for you, is it?

Gigi, suddenly locking up like a badly taxidermied fox: ...

Tama, staring blankly: ..? Tama, ears slowly rising as understanding dawns on her face: Oh?

Gigi, face rapidly alternating vivid shades of pink and white as her emotions battle for dominance, before settling on 'Scaroused': -Uh...

Tama, delighted: OH!

Akon, enraged: OH. MY GOD.

Tama, pointing at him and hissing: You are the LAST person who gets to kinkshame anyone young man! Tama, pointing back at Gigi: At least SHE knows how to have fun!

Akon: I'm gonna transfer to the Ninth and never, ever leave the server room again.

Tama: If you think you can withstand the emotional toil of leaving the mass spectrometer in my hands, be my guest.

Akon: :(

Gigi: Uh?

Tama: He's spiritually bonded to a particularly finicky piece of lab equipment that hates me, like how some tween girls become spiritually bonded to giant murderous equines, which also tend to hate me. Don't worry about it. Tama: Back on topic, this does explain a few things. You DO understand that your feelings about this situation are unusual and given that most humans and their spiritually powerful derivatives experience pain and fear from having their autonomy restricted and bodies invaded by parasites, How do you think being made into a Zombie feels for other people?

Gigi: ...Bahd?

Tama, nodding enthusiastically and making her ears flop in agreement: That's right! Bad! Tama, settling down a bit more to explain things carefully to Gigi: See, the thing is- even monsters like us need to get along with other people. Tama: I know a lot, but nowhere near enough to enjoy the benefits of civilization all on my own- I don't know how to fix a toilet, or fill out grant applications or stand in the same room as the mass spectrometer without breaking it, so it's really, really good I've got people Akon over there, who like me, who can, and more importantly are willing to do those things for me!

Gigi, annoyed: Gyou woulgnd AVV to-

Tama: hang on, hang on-

[Tama pokes a few points on Gigi's face and throat, using Reiki to disconnect some of the Cordyceps parasite, then pulls the spire that was developing under Gigi's tongue out. It's much larger than it looked, and makes Gigi's throat wiggle as she removes it.]

Tama: Oh hell, that shouldn't have been there. How were you even talking around that thing girl?

[Tama tosses the fungal spire aside and offers Gigi a water bottle. Gigi takes a few sips before nodding and Tama puts it away.

Tama: Okay, try again-

Gigi: Ugh- You wouldn't HAVE to get along with tall, drak and grumpy back there if he was a zombie!

Tama, disappointed: ... Tama, taking another deep sigh: ...Okay, let's say I zombify Akon-

[Akon cocks and aims the Laer Gun, which whines ominously as it charges]

Tama: WHICH I AM NOT GOING TO DO FOR REASONS I'M ABOUT TO ELABORATE ON, PUT THAT DOWN-

[Akon turns off and lowers the lazer gun, still glaring.]

Tama: Thank you. Tama: I know you're still getting used to how most people have conversations, but that was a normal way to discuss a theoretical scenario and not me about to turn you into a Zombie. Do you understand?

Akon: ...Ues, Sir.

Tama: He used to work for an Evil Clown, don't worry about it- Alright, Let's say I was a micromanaging-type moron, and I decided to zombify Akon instead of just getting along with him. I'd lose all his expertise immediately. No more functioning mass spectrometer or bathrooms.

Gigi, haughty: Mine do.

Tama: Pardon?

Gigi: My zombies keep. most of their skills and personality. At least the ones I make out of corpses. Gigi: Akon could still fix the mass-thingie and if you zombify the Grant Committee you don't even have to ASK for funding.

Tama, intrigued: ...Do they? That's good to know, I'll want to hear more about that later-but that still supports my point.

Tama: Alright, HYPOTHETICALLY I Zombify Akon, and the Grant Committee- well now, the person who's choosing when the mass spectrometer gets fixed and who gets grant money I don't need is ME, and I already have WAY too much work to do, I don't have initiative to spare for them! I got stuff I want to do! I can't micromanage everyone, everywhere all the time! Tama: It's literally easier, more efficient and frankly, way, WAY less stressful to just get along with people and live in a society than to try to DIY one out of corpses.

Gigi: ...I guess.

Tama: So that's my question Gigi. Tama: Are you capable of respecting people's bodily autonomy and personal space to get along with them?

Gigi, frowning and biting her lip: ...

Akon: That doesn't sound like a 'Yes'.

Gigi: It's not though. It's not less stressful to just get along with people. Gigi: That's- That's WHY I learned how to make zombies in the first place. I'd. I'd TRY to get along, dammit! But any time I let people make choices, they chose to get up my ass about my name, or cut off all my hair, or send me off to 'camp', or beat the shit out of me, or- or lock me in the mausoleum and leave me to starve instead of just call me my name or admit they had a daughter- Gigi: ... Gigi: So it was- Gigi: -It was easier with bodies. Gigi: Bodies don't insist you're a boy or call you a freak or take you to a 'private institution' to 'help you get better' where they strap electric paddles to your head and run a million volts through you- Gigi: Dead people are SO MUCH EASIER to get along with! They don't think you're a creep! They don't think at all! Gigi: I mean, why should I-? Why should I try to get along with people who have already made up their minds that they're never, ever gonna get along with me??

Akon: ... Akon: ...I mean, you are kind of a creep-

Tama: -AKON!

Akon: Hang on I'm not done! You are a bit of a creep, but it's not the girl thing, it's the zombie thing!

Gigi: Oh, just because you're scared of a dead body-!

Akon: GIRLIE I'VE BEEN DISSECTING CORPSES SINCE BEFORE I COULD TALK I AIN'T FUCKIN' SCARED AND I AIN'T DISAGREEING WITH YOU- YEAH. IT IS EASIER TO TALK TO A CORPSE THAN A PERSON. I SPENT PRETTY MUCH ALL MY ADOLESCENCE IN THE 12TH DIVISION'S MORGUE BECAUSE TALKIN' TO LIVE PEOPLE SCARED THE FUCK OUTTA ME!!

Gigi: WIMP! YOU HAVE NO IDEA-

Akon: NO, I THINK I FUCKIN' DO! Akon: YOU KNOW WHERE URAHARA HIRED ME OUT OF? Akon: PRISON. Akon: I GOT THROWN IN PRISON WHEN I STILL HAD ALL MY BABY TEETH, *JUST* BECAUSE I WAS SO CURIOUS ABOUT BODIES. JUST BECAUSE I MADE PEOPLE UNCOMFORTABLE! PRISON-PRISON! THE MAGGOT'S NEST, WHERE THEY KEEP WAR CRIMINALS AND WORSE! Akon: YEAH, TALKIN' TO LIVE PEOPLE SCARED THE SHIT OUTTA ME, BECAUSE THE LAST TIME I TALKED TO SOMEONE, I LITERALLY GOT SENT TO HELL!

Gigi: -!

Akon: Captain Nikuya is RIGHT, the Gotei-13 is the home of Monsters- and the twelfth has got some of the most freakish and frightening ones of the whole guard! Akon: But I'll take the self-vivisecting, species-transgressing, only-barely-human Monsters any day of the week over the maggot's nest because we're all shamelessly, gloriously monstrous together, and the ONE damn rule of the monster's ball is to ASK before you fuck around with someone's stuff, especially their body. Akon: Not "Don't mess with someone's body", Not "Don't be weird", Not "try to be normal". It's "Be freaks and monsters, but also friends."

Akon: God help me if Nemuri ever finds out, but that's why Mayuri is still in that flask. Most of us have a pretty good idea how to isolate his consciousness again, but they way he- I'd have killed him the week after he took over if I had any idea how.

Akon: That's the rule Gigi. No violating anyone's right to live as they are. Akon: That's the difference between a monster- someone people are scared of just for being how they are- and the kind of FILTH that needs to be scrubbed off the earth. Akon: Do you understand Gigi? Nobody gives a shit if you're a girl on purpose or whatever- Fuck, I can think of a few colleagues who'd put themselves on a list for you to reanimate them when they die no matter how much of them actually comes back. It's overwritin' people's minds and controlling bodies BY FORCE. Akon, putting down the gun and patting his coat for his cigarettes: If I understood you right, that's more or less what people tried to do to you, isn't it? Tell you how to act, who you were, by whatever means necessary?

Gigi: ...fuck you.

Akon: Fuck me yourself, you coward.

Gigi: ... Gigi: So what am I supposed to do when someone gets up in my face again? Smile and play nice? Roll over so they can kick my guts out?

Tama: Oh, no- If they violate the "Don't mess with other people's autonomy" rule, all bets are off! That's why when you tried to murder me and Akon a few minutes ago, I was right to infect you with a parasitic fungus to protect myself and stop you! Tama: In fact, the sooner and harder you react to that shit, the less people will try to cross that line, so if anyone tries to fuck with you, you absolutely can and should make an example of them!

Akon, holding up his cigarette to ask if it's alright, and wating for Tama's nod: -If anyone tried that shit with me I'd absolutely turn them into a living educational exhibit on why people need to have skin, but genuinely? Nobody in soul society gives a shit what's in your pants unless they're your doc or fuckin' you.

Gigi, rolling her eyes: Sure, sure-

Tama, laughing: No! Really! It was a surprise for me too.

Gigi: You're lying to me.

Tama, shrugging: Okay, don't believe me, believe your eyes- Tama, ticking people off on her paw-pads: You saw the peacock earlier, he's a seated officer and Baldy is his Husband. Tama: Their boss is the most rampantly bisexual slut I've ever had the pleasure of meeting and the primary load-bearing member of the captainacy polycule-

Akon, starting to giggle: -Yeah I bet he can bear a lot of loads-

Tama, casually plucking off another fungal spire to half-heartedly throw at him: Oh, and the guy who had this job before me IS pregnant with his second child!

Gigi, incredulous: ...The guy with the stupid hat that looks like off-brand Shaggy from Scooby-Doo? That looks more a beer belly.

[Akon: Loud, Snorting Laughter]

Tama: Okay, you're right, it looks more like a beer gut than a baby right now, but PLEASE don't tell him that- He's in the weepy mood swings phase right now, and won't get his sense of humor back until the third trimester. Tama: We' re all placing bets on when Baby Kegger is gonna be born if you want in on the action.

Gigi, Biting her lip and grimacing: I- I don't-

Tama, taking Gigi's hand: -You know firsthand how weird my body is. I'm not properly male or female- I've got at least 21,837 sexes within me because of the insane way I have to metabolically regulate my body. Tama, shrugging: I'm just female in conversation because language hasn't evolved the 12th-dimensional pronouns I'd need yet. But when I brought this up at a meeting, the only question I got from the old man was if my uniform would need altering. Tama: I mean. It did, but that's because I'm 4'6" and i get all my clothes in the children's section, but I'm still amused that that was the captain-general's polite way of asking if I'd need any accomodations.

Gigi: ...Promise it'll be okay?

Tama: I don't know how the war is going to turn out, but if you help us and stop making zombies, I promise I'll do everything I can to make it okay.

[Gigi manages a weak smile]

Akon, wheezing, and doing a terrible Scooby-Doo impresson: Ruh-roh! Rhe Rexperiments Breached Containment, And Raggy's rust Whadder broke!

[Gigi, snorting and giggling in spite of everything}

Tama: See? Now you're laughing. When was the last time a Zombie made you laugh?

Gigi, sniffling a bit as she giggles: ...never.

Tama: So, are you ready to give an alliance a shot?

Gigi: I- I guess?

Tama: You guess? I can't go to the captain-general with a mere hypothesis.

Gigi: ...Yes. Yes, I'm ready.

Tama, grinning: So you're going to be a good girl and keep your bodily fluids to yourself unless asked?

Gigi, turning bright pink: Y-yes!

Tama: Yes, what?

Gigi, going even redder: Yes, sir!

Tama, patting her head and releasing the hold on the Cordyceps, at least for now: ...Very good girl.

Akon, rolling his eyes: Uuuugh....

Tama, helping Gigi up: Hey! You know damn well that positive re-enforcement-

Akon, hefting his Lazer-Gun back onto his shoulder: -is an important part of interpersonal communication, reward the behavior you want to see yeah, yeah-

[Akon is about to turn to leave when a thought occurs to him and he stops and glares at Gigi]

Akon: ...You DO hit like a fuckin' truck.

Gigi, blushing and twirling her hair: Well, I mean-

Akon, pointing accusingly at Tama: I KNEW IT! YOU'RE NOT RECRUITING HER FOR THE WAR, YOU'RE RECRUITING HER FOR THE SHINIGAMI WOMEN'S ASSOCIATION INTRAMURAL CRICKET TEAM!!

Gigi: -the what?

Tama: And what if I am? It doesn't matter to you- The Shinigami Men's Association couldn't keep their wickets up if their lives depended on it!

Akon: -Call me when Matsumoto-taicho can bat out of the pitch!

Tama: Yeah, the fact that Rangiku and Hiyori both suck at it and you STILL lost by 203 points to us is not actually helping your case here.

Gigi: Is. Is cricket a sport?

Akon: SPORT? Cricket is an entire EVENT! It's a Way of Life! It's the philosphical ideal of-

Tama: Yes. Tama: It's a very silly sport, and his team sucks at it.

Gigi: Ooh! If we all live through this, I can be a cheerleader!

Tama, causing problems on purpose: Yeah!

Akon, sputtering with fury: I- That's- CRICKET DOESN'T HAVE CHEERLEADERS!!

Gigi, pouting with her index fingers pressed together, rocking her hips: -But I wanted to cheer for YOU Mr. Akon!

Akon, freezing like a deer in front of an oncoming 18-wheeler: -! Akon, turning ever-so-slightly-pinkish about the ears: ...I'll think about it.

Gigi, grabbing onto Akon's arm: Yay! Gigi, hanging off Akon and babbling: What are the team colors? Do you think like Majorette uniforms are cuter or something more like a miniskirt and halter-top?

Tama, letting them get a bit ahead of her as she dials the main camp: Anyone on the horn? It's Nikuya.

Nanao, on the other end of the communicator: Status report?

Tama: Good news! I've eliminated an enemy, found us an ally AND a new batter for the team if we all live to see spring training.

#AEIWAM #an elephant is warm and mushy #bleach #bleach fanfic #giselle gewelle #Tama Nikuya #Bleach Akon #Help I ship Gigi and Akon now #mind the warnings #long post under the cut

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ursa-the-stranger · 5 months

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Op had to restrict replies but I wanted to reblog so heres a copy paste of it sans op's name. I will take this down if they ask however.

I have been noodling over posting this for several days but I think it's important for some people to hear.

At a March on Saturday, at a pro Palestine march, my group and I were targeted by by nazis. Not targeted for violence, but targeted for recruitment. They weren't wearing swastikas, they weren't spewing blatant antisemitic hate speech. They seemed like two normal dudes. They marched with us, talked about how awful everything in Palestine was, how we wished world leaders would grow a pair and hold Israel responsible for fucking war crimes, how existing in the world right now was hard. They were empathetic, they were kind, they seemed like genuine good dudes.

Until we passed a synagogue where people were handing our water to marchers. They had signs defending Palestine on their table. But the tone of the conversation changed. These two seemingly normal dudes started talking about how "performative" the gesture felt, that Jewish people should be doing more. That they needed to PROVE it. They started talking about "Zionist" propaganda in the US, about how it was deeply entrenched in capitalism. Things that, on the surface, seemed reasonable but it set off alarm bells in my head.

When I was a kid, I remember getting the speech of "don't repeat anything your uncle or cousin so and so says and don't argue with them. Try to avoid them but if you can't be polite." Because those uncles and cousins said a lot of hateful things about anyone who wasn't like them, but their favorite targets were black people and Jewish people. I would find out as an adult it was because many of those uncles and cousins were in the Klan. When I studied hate symbols for a class in college, I found my self looking at images I'd seen on arms and necks and hands my whole life, because I live in an area of the US where the KKK is still around. And standing in that crowd, listening to these guys talk, i had the most horrible realization I've had in a long time.

We were being fished by Nazis. We were a group of able body, white American leftists. At a march in support of stopping the murder and genocide of Palestinians, these motherfuckers were out here, trying to find people they could get to hate Jewish folks. I wasn't the only one in my group who clocked it, and when we called them on it, the masks came off. They called us a bunch of "Jew loving bitches" before they moved on.

But we're marched with these guys for a couple hours, talked with them, laughed with them, brought them into our circle. For a moment we forgot we also weren't immune to propaganda, we weren't immune to people who make hate sound reasonable and that people like that never start out saying the quiet part out loud, they lean on your anger and your sense of helplessness to move you where they want you. If the last eight years has taught us anything, it's that fascists know how to adjust to the times, to work with what they got, to recruit. They know how to radicalize people, how to weaponize anger and helplessness. And I'm sitting here, every day, seeing posts that sound exactly like these guys did and it worries me.

I know I'm talking to the No Reading Comprehension Website, but I'm begging you guys to develop some now.

You are not immune to propaganda. We are all angry, as we fucking should be. We are watching an entire culture, thousands of lives, whole bloodlines, being wiped out in real time, and for many of us our nations are at best, wringing their hands, and at worst, shipping them weapons, all to protect capitalist greed. It's monstrous, it's disgusting. But look, REALLY LOOK, at the things you are tweeting, sharing, look at the language and how it's used. Take the time to educate yourself about how hate groups use social justice causes and civil unrest to recruit, research the posts your spreading, check your sources. If you are out protesting, be situationally aware, and do not be afraid to clock and call out Nazis. Listen to Jewish people, listen to their concerns, educate yourself on what Zionism and antisemitism actually are and how they can be weaponized. It doesn't feel as good as rage, it doesn't feel as good as having a group you can functionally rail against in a way we can't against a nation a world away, but it's a skill that's going to help you and a lot of other people in the long run.

#keep your wits about you. hold love for the best of people and the worst of people in your heart. always search for the facts for yourself

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gurggggleburgle · 9 months

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the fun part of svsss is that at any point in time SQQ could have asked Airplane about the plot. He could have gotten all of the answers he needed in advance. He had 3 years to ask these questions. He had opportunity to listen to the author of the world he is stuck in. But man is so against reading comprehension that he refused cheat notes and I love it. I believe in my heart of heart that Qinghua offered to explain things more than once prior to LBH's return and Qingqiu just refused. Screamed feral and angry like the reddit bitch he is. Airplane's entire reason to fear for his life is based on understanding the original writing and why Shang Qinghua was killed. Loss of Utility. He isn't worried about Binghe coming after him. Our baby boy doesn't even know he exists half the time. He isn't necessarily worried about the actual plot for the most part.

But Shen Yuan's worry is based on a lack of thematic reading and refusing to comprehend LBH as a person in any capacity. I mean, dude left the kid living in a woodshed for about six months post arriving and I'm pretty sure that's just because he forgot to care about it. It is goddamn flipping hilarious. Imagine getting stuck in any other piece of media and hating the author so much that you're like 'death of the author? i sure hope.'

It's comedy. It's pure fucking hilarity. He's so stupid. I love him as he is awful.

#svsss #scumbag system #shen qingqiu #shen yuan #sqq #svsss shitpost #shang qinghua #meta #cumplane #scum villian self saving system #scum villain

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p0ssywhippedcream · 9 months

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Your throat burns something awful and no matter how many times you try, you can’t swallow the lump in the back of it. L’s hands are in his pockets casually as he watches you from across the room. He’s sure you’re bluffing, otherwise he’d show some emotion, right?

“L, are you even listening?”

“I hear you, do you?”

“What?” It comes out more of a sigh.

“Hear yourself, do you?”

“You better not be saying I’m talking crazy for wanting my boyfriend to give me affection.”

His face gives nothing away still, large eyes unblinking as if you’re discussing something minute.

“You know I don’t have enough time and you’re demanding more.”

You throw your hands down from where they had been conjoined in front of you, “No, I’m asking that when you are present with me, you’re actually there. You barely touch me anymore, you hardly talk to me if it’s not an emergency or a favor!”

“So.. you want to have more sexual intercourse.” His thumb is between his lips, lips you haven’t kissed for weeks and lips you want to sew shut to see him struggle like you do when he shushes you to silence.

You’re standing in front of the bed, he’s by the door where’s he been since he came in and you tried to talk to him about his neglect.

“Sure, I don’t know. Just acknowledge me when you spend time with me.” You huff out, irritation pinching your expression.

“If you don’t know, why are you starting a fight?” He asks like it’s a genuine question and not a dig at your attempts at communication that have gone without comprehension. He quirks his head to the side, stepping forth to examine you head-to-toe like you’re a piece of evidence. His gaze is far away, two weeks in the future on a date he’d been awaiting for months but to you it just looks like he’s spacing out, lately a consistent state when he’s around you. It drives you crazy, the insane itch of hatred crawls up your spine and vibrates off of you.

You shake in rage, knowing it’s intentional your crazy smart boyfriend is pretending to be confused until you drop it. It won’t work this time.

You’re done explaining, done begging and suddenly all the fight dies. Your shoulders slump and your expression relaxes, a smirk twitches on L’s face, gone before you can point it out.

You turn around and march towards the closet, soft and purposeful as you reach the bag you’ve packed. You swing it over your shoulder and watch the faint victorious smile fall from his face when you emerge.

You don’t say anything as you pluck your phone from the bed, walking towards where he stands beside the door.

You remember every time you’d pleaded with him and he spun your words like a web around you, sticking you in meanings you both know you hadn’t intended. Every time, he would urge you to get some rest, pecking your cheek before disappearing out of the room and leaving you with teary eyes, trying to make some sense of this so loveless love you lived in.

You stopped by his frame, noting the close friendship between his eyebrows as he tried to mentally explain away your behavior. Ever so slowly, you lifted yourself up on tippy toes and pecked his cheek, leaving a harsh red stain before opening the door and leaving him forever.

You’re not sure if he’s crying, if he misses you but you are sure you’ve done enough of both of those while dating him and now that you’re free, you’re not going to waste anymore time on him.

And as he watches you on street cameras, climbing into a taxi and fading into the traffic, he wishes he’d spent more free time with you and not planning for the perfect proposal.

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the-woman-upstairs · 5 months

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Honestly, all my schadenfreude over the public evisceration of James Somerton by Hbomberguy and Todd in the Shadows is tempered by the anger I feel at how much damage, pain, misinformation, and marginalizing one man was capable of accomplishing through the platform he built through plagiarism, blatant lies, and outright bigotry.

And frankly it sucks that it took the efforts of two other popular YouTube creators to bring him down when Somerton was clearly never good at hiding any of his horrific behavior. There were clearly women and trans/non-binary people who knew something was up with him and his “work” but were either harassed/doxxed by the fans he set on them or knew they didn’t have the same kind of clout/support to be believed over him.

It just boggles my mind how EASY it would have been for him to cite these sources and work with other queer creators on the platform to help create a wealth of accessible, comprehensive knowledge of queer media and history available to a younger generation. Because clearly, there’s a hunger in the younger generations of queer kids/people for that knowledge, the understanding of the past, how it informs the present and creates the future. But all Somerton did was steal from other creators, ones who either didn’t know their work was stolen or were given the run-around by Somerton instead of proper accreditation.

Instead of uplifting other people and their research, he selfishly stole and hoarded it, before regurgitating it and claiming it was all his own while also infecting some excellent analysis with awful, bigoted opinions, particularly geared towards women, trans people, or any type of queer he didn’t believe was the “right kind.” You know, like all the “boring gays” that “survived” the AIDS crisis.

I want to believe that this time we’ll learn to not take people at face value, just because they give the appearance of professionalism and sound authoritative on whatever subject is covered. Because that’s how dangerous misinformation is spread and taken for fact. Todd was absolutely on the money when he pointed out how it is important to document all the lies and plagiarism with Somerton because how many young people believed what he was saying? How many people watched his videos on the adult film industry or “bad gays” or Nazis influence on body image and walked away thinking they were learning something about their history? Far too many, I’m sure.

Though at least having these two videos to refer to can help people learn when to spot someone who’s being disingenuous in “teaching people something.” And that any person who claims to be the “only person” talking about an issue is mostly likely lying and trying to sell you something. Usually, their own brand. It’s far better to diversify the people you follow and the voices you listen to, and the playlist Hbomberguy made available is a great place to start.

But I also recommend seeking out some of the original sources yourself. There’s typically queer history books/memoirs in the nonfiction section of your local library. You can find the original Celluloid Closet documentary on Tubi, along with another interesting one, Do I Sound Gay? Disclosure, the documentary on depictions of trans people in Hollywood, is available on Netflix. And that’s just a couple of the top of my head. If you’re looking for queer films in general, Wolfe Video has so many available for purchase or even just to peruse and rent the titles later.

I do hope some good comes out of all this, even if the damage done by Somerton still lingers in online queer spaces (fingers crossed this means the end of Illuminaughtii and Internet Historian as well). It helps to be wary of people seeking to take advantage of the online spaces we now inhabit, but there’s still people and places across the internet that are doing good work and want to help educate people. They may not always be easy to find and may even require some effort on the part of the audience, but the end result of really learning something, discovering interesting research/work, or being part of open minded discussions is a worthwhile reward. And always something to be proud of.

#ok this is a lot but i had to get all this off my chest #hbomberguy #james somerton #todd in the shadows #i really hope this news doesn’t discourage young people who were taken in by that asshole #he’s not the only queer person doing this work- there’s so many of us out there having discussions and sharing ideas #without being virulently misogynistic and transphobic and racist #i really hope people seek out the creators on that playlist and find someone new to follow who’s putting in the work

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wint3r-h3art · 1 year

Note

“why can’t you open up to me?”

“why do you want me to?”

Pairing: Namor x Asian Mutant!Reader

Word count: 1.3K

Warnings: None. Just ANGST!! two idiots in love tropes, but they're too stubborn to say anything. A lot of musing thoughts on both ends.

a/n: Thank you so much for sending this in, Alice 💛 The gif really did it for me 😭 This will be like an excerpt from my mini-series, "And I Return to Nothingness...". The details of what is mentioned here will be explained in greater detail in the mini-series. Reblog & comments are greatly appreciated if you are interested in the series. It only helps me write more stuff for you to enjoy.

Do not copy, repost and claim it as your own, or translated my works!!

There was no amount of high council that could remedy his predicament right now.

His mind wandered, wavered between the need and the want. For centuries, he was used to having answers to every possible obstacle, but at this exact moment, he couldn’t come up with any type of solution that would ease his mind. So he sought solace in the underwater cave–the only place where he could be in his own thoughts.

After you crashed here months ago, a deal was made with the Talokanil leader. In exchange for your refuge from the world government, you must assist him in whatever his people need, whether using your power to help shield the surface dweller away from discovering his world or using your healing ability to help those who were wounded. Even as if they were superhuman themselves, their healing ability was no match for whatever was flowing in your veins.

Ku'ku'lkán had made it clear that the only reason he kept you here was to prevent you from exposing his world to your world. But you knew–you knew too well that he needed you as much as you needed him.

Being a hydrokinetic mutant, you were more than capable of destruction, but you–you were no ordinary water-wielding mutant. No, your ability was beyond anyone’s comprehension. Anyone that witnessed a fraction of what you can do, fears you. Coupled with your cellular regeneration ability, you were practically immortal, which made every one of those world governments seek you. They needed you, and they wanted to control you. This was why you ran–ran away as far as your feet could drag you; ran until it was your last breath.

Only for you to land here, and become his willing prisoner. At what cost though…perhaps being here was much better than being in the perpetual torment of being experimented on over and over again as they seek answers to your power.

Ku'ku'lkán could sense your unyielding gaze as he painted. He could feel the way your eyes followed the paintbrush glided across the cool cavern wall. Your footsteps had always been light, and he had learned to listen to the subtle echoes within the cave whenever you were walking around or pacing. And that moment, he could hear your steady breathing as you watched, perhaps in awe.

A part of his heart wanted you to say something–a comment, or perhaps a praise from you, but why? He didn’t know, or at least he didn’t want to know.

You see, there was a small fear that he didn’t like to acknowledge. Perhaps it was his pride, or perhaps it was his stubbornness, but whatever it was, it was holding his feelings hostage to the point where he didn’t know how to deal with it.

This strange longing to be gazed upon and admired by you was eating away at his inside, and he didn’t know how to deal with it–with you. He thought that painting whatever he was feeling would remedy that, but of course, he was wrong when you uttered the words out loud.

“Is that supposed to be me?”

His heart dropped in the pit of his stomach as the heat slowly flooded his face. A rush of adrenaline flowed in his veins as he halted his movement. His hand was in mid-brush stroke. He could feel himself trembling at your words as he took a step back and observed his works. He had been so caught up in his mixed emotions that he didn’t realize what he had done.

On the wall was an image of a woman cradling what looks like water in between her palms. It could be anyone if it wasn’t the distinct scar that only one person bore. He could have left that details out if he wanted to be subtle, but damn his wandering mind. And now you would know, and you would look at him differently–perhaps you would mock him, taunting him of whatever his confused heart was feeling at the moment.

Ku'ku'lkán’s throat was bone dry when he turned, dropping the paintbrush right onto the water jar. He watched the way your eyes glimmered slightly underneath the blue glow of the light in the cave.

“Do you want it to be you?” he asked, trying to cover his own track. Damn his pride, and damn the universe for bringing you to him. Because of you, he had not been able to think straight.

“Just kidding. I wouldn’t dare to assume it’s me,” you let out a dry chuckle. He watched the way you were rubbing your arm out of discomfort, or perhaps awkwardness. “I just thought I would ask because I noticed the way she was holding the water… never mind. Forget what I just asked. It’s very beautiful…”

You didn’t mention anything about the three circles that were on the women’s necks of course. You didn’t dare to dream that the king would even think of you enough to paint a mural of you. No. The circles may have been jewelry of some sort. Perhaps he painted the past lover that he had lost…perhaps. Yes, perhaps, you thought. You were thinking too much about that one kiss, and now your mind was all over the place. Looking at him now made you flustered more than ever before.

“You must think of her a lot….”

“It’s just an image. There’s nothing special about it.”

Ku'ku'lkán watched the way your lips pressed into a thin line. His words might have been harsh, but he wouldn’t think you would feel anything by it.

“If it weren’t special, you wouldn’t spend this much time painting her…surely, she’s someone important to you–”

“Do you always ask questions on things that don't concern you?”

The words came out harsher than he intended, and he watched the way your expression slowly crumbled right before his eyes. He cussed at himself mentally.

“I said I was kidding. Plus, I thought we were way past this whole distrust thing,” you said softly, sounding like a wounded animal.

“And why is that?”

You wanted to bring up the night when he brought you to the beach, where you opened up to him about your past, and how you came to be hunted down by everyone. You thought at that moment he shared an unspoken bond. After all, you were also the first mutant of your kind and were also revered as a goddess by your people as well before the colonizers destroyed your world. You wanted to bring up the kiss, but your throat went dry the more you stood there, feeling like you were being played by him.

“I told you about my past. I even confided in you about my fears. Why can’t you open up to me?

“Why do you want me to open up to you? ”

“Because—” you frowned, unable to find words that would sort out this situation. You looked at the Talokanil king. His expression was still hard and unyielding. What the hell were you going to say to him?

“Because what?” He pressed again. In the back of his mind, he was hoping for you to say something. His lips were still tingled from the kiss that you shared that night, yet…he felt more guarded than ever before. What if you were using him? What if you didn’t feel the same way?

“You know what. Just forget it. Just forget everything I’ve ever told you,” you finally said as you turned away, trying to hide the tears that were definitely falling down your face now. “I’m just going to stay here and pay my due. Perhaps one of these days if I get you pissed off enough, you can just kill me off.”

Namor could see frost slowly forming on your hands, and at that moment he wanted to take your hand in his–to say something to you, but he was way too proud to admit it. And now he had to endure the harsh reality that he indeed had fucked this up incredibly.

#namor x reader #namor x you #namor x asian!reader #kukulkan x reader #kukulkan x you #k'uk'ulkan #mcu namor #k'uk'ulkan x reader #k'uk'ulkan x you #k'uk'ulkan x asian!reader #namor angst #namor fanfiction

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wadebae · 5 months

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[copy pasta post because OP needed to turn off reblogs due to harassment. Another person asked them about doing this and they said it's fine, they just can't personally handle the harassment right now. These are not my words. Not giving credit solely to protect OP's inbox. Reblog or don't, but I wanted this on my blog.]

I have been noodling over posting this for several days but I think it's important for some people to hear.

I know I'm talking to the No Reading Comprehension Website, but I'm begging you guys to develop some now.

#palestine #israel #antisemitism #neonazis #if you see someone who cannot support palestine #without hating jewish people #run don't walk

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mesukohi · 1 year

Text

A Crochet made of Blades

Summary:

Knives saved you from the cruel hands of humanity. You are not sure what his purpose is or why he did it, but after learning about his special day, you wanted to thank him with a small gift.

Note: A little Knives fluff if you squint hard enough (⁠人⁠ ⁠•͈⁠ᴗ⁠•͈⁠)

The sounds created by Knives's grand piano echoed through the halls, the song pristine on your ears that it almost always lulled you to sleep. You are not sure what the title of this symphony is, if it has one, nor if its melody is even comprehensible to the mind of a mere human being but hearing it was something you look forward to ever since he took you from your hometown.

It was years ago. Maybe three or so. Time is difficult to grasp when you are inside a building without many windows, and it also doesn't help that you don't have the freedom to see the outside world often, not unless there is an order or permission. Still, you are thankful of him. To many, he may be a ruthless killer- a villain that is beyond redemption. He has slaughtered hundreds- maybe thousands of humans and took their plants- a source of life that is significant at every city in Noman's land. However, to you, he is a nothing but a savior. The red stain that once painted his pale skin- blood that belonged to your former owners- was a sight that is gratefully engraved in the depths of mind. The thought made you chuckle. Perhaps you are crazy. Anyone who witnesses a murder would be thinking the other way around but you already have lost your faith in humanity long ago that caring for other people's wellbeing is none of your concern anymore. You just need to survive. And to survive is to focus on yourself and what's good for you.

Perhaps that's why he spared you.

You are a survivor.

The bruises that decorated your body and the broken bones told him so. The relief he saw in your eyes as he allowed you to defile the bodies of your abusers showed him that you are different- perhaps special- and could be of use.

And he was right. He always is. You were loyal. You did everything as he told. You supported his cause. You betrayed your fellow humans for him because you believe in him and his ideals.

Humans are selfish creatures. They will take advantage of anyone and anything that could give them the upper hand. May it be a lost girl with no one to confide to or a plant with limited energy. It is in their nature to make use and destroy.

And you want to thank him for waking you to this mentality. You fumbled on your gift, hands trembling as you walked closer to your destination. Every note leaving his piano grows louder at each step you take until you reached the threshold to his lair. You have been to this room before, the rare times when he allowed you to accompany him or humored you onto listening to his symphonies, yet still, you couldn't help but sigh in awe everytime you see the planetarium like crevice. The ceiling was made of glass, showing the outside sky that is currently painted with strokes of purple and orange. Every wall seemed to be made of precious metals, the lights only making them look gold, sterile, and immaculate. There wasn't any furniture at bay, not like he needed any. It was just him, his piano and the seat that accompanied it.

Seeing that you were distracted by the scenery, you didn't notice how the melody bouncing against the walls has already stopped, a chill running on your spine when you heard Knives spoke, back turned to you, his long fingers still pressed against the keys.

"What brings you here?"

His voice was cold, emotionless. Anyone would have been running for the hills upon hearing this but you were too blinded with dedication to even care. Still, your heart began a nervous beat, knowing how unpredictable this plant- man can be.

"You have one chance. Tell me what's so important that you have decided to consume my precious time" he reiterated, not even bothering to look at you.

"I...." Suddenly, you couldn't find your tongue. All the confidence that brought you to where you stand is gone and fading on the wind. Even though your loyalty is absolute for this man, you couldn't help but be afraid of him. He is after all "Millions Knives" an independent who seeks the end of humans such as yourself.

"F-forgive me for intruding Master Knives, It's just that..." You fumbled at the gift you are hiding behind your back, finally gaining the courage to speak. Perhaps being direct on what your purpose is would calm him a bit "The doctor told me that today is a special day for you. To be honest, I never knew how independent plants like you are created- if you are even born or artificially made but, I learned that today is your birthday so I have you this"

You shyly presented your gift. It is a crocheted scarf, the same color as his cloak. You have worked on this gift for a month, maybe two, your hands trembling from remaking it over and over especially when you see even the tiniest bit of imperfections because you want it to be perfect for him. A perfect gift for a perfect being.

"I know material things does not matter to you, but I am looking forward into giving you an offering for everything that you have done for me. I don't really have enough money to buy you anything of good quality or extravagant so I thought It would be best to just give you something that is handcrafted... e-even though it is created by the hands of a human like myself" You whispered the last part, knowing that it is the ultimate flaw of your gift.

He finally turns on his seat, one hand still pressed on the piano as his piercing blue eyes scanned your face and down to the scarf in you hands. His gazed was filled with curiosity, the palm that once settled in the keys of his favorite instrument now raising to be placed in front of him. He didn't speak, but his gesture suggested that he wanted to look at the item closer- so walk closer you did, feet dragging nervously against the floor until you were five steps near him. You slowly placed the scarf on his hand, not wanting to move brashly or perhaps excitedly at his presence now that he seems interested on your gift.

Immediately, he examined the cloth, assessing and feeling the softness of the material. One of his brows raises slightly, one that you couldn't interpret wether it's from amusement or critique. The slight tug of his lips suggested the former though, his irises now finding yours.

"This is impressive work coming from a mere human's hand" he praised, and you couldn't help but smile despite his somehow condescending tone.

"T-thank you, Master Knives" you replied, now playing with your fingers shyly. Your right eye twitches at the action, a painful sensation enveloping your digits as you grazed one of the many cuts that you received from making the scarf.

This reaction does not escape Knives as his vision drags on the level of your waist where your hands played clumsily. You noticed his stare and immediately hid them behind your back, smiling awkwardly as an excuse.

He squints at you, the expression showing suspicion and inquisitiveness at the same time. After folding the scarf neatly, he placed it atop his beloved piano before turning back at you, repeating the same gesture he did earlier when he wanted to examine your gift.

Your eyes widen. This the first time he has initiated to touch you. In the three years that you had followed and served him, never did he even stood five feet close to you. You were wondering why he have decided to all of a sudden, and you are more than sure that it is not just because you have given him an offering. Still, you remained unmoved. If you were to be honest, showing him your wounds is embarrassing for you since it symbolizes your struggle. How something so simple to create has defeated you before you could perfect it. How something so trivial for a being like knives who can create anything with a snap of his finger, was weeks of hard labor for you. Your gaze was fixed on the floor, now realizing how idiotic this whole ordeal was. Knives didn't need a gift. He doesn't need anything from you.

"Show me your hands, human" he finally spoke, tone filled with impatience. You finally looked at him, the command in his voice forcing you to obey.

Swallowing dry, you slowly placed your hands against his, revealing its state. There lies old and new stabs on your digits from when you struggled to use the pin, a couple of band aids hiding the fresher ones as well as a few spots of calluses from where you pressed too hard. He stared at those imperfections, clearly amused, until you felt one of his nails drag lazily into one of your wounds, scratching and digging at the scab until it opened and showed the insides of your skin. Blood seeped and painted a thin line of red across your palm, the fluid reaching the center and pooling there, mimicking a small piece of ruby. You couldn't help but huff at the pain his ministration caused, teeth biting your lower lip as he looked up at you from where he sat, gaze filled with mischief.

"I have to say, even though I loathed humans like yourself for your selfish, destructive capabilities, there is one unique trait in your kind that has slightly earned my curiosity" he admitted, voice in between apathy and admiration.

"May I know what is it, Master knives?" you asked, genuinely intrigued.

"It is how you exert effort when something is in line with your wants. Whether if that want is dedicated to creating or causing destruction. It is... quite appealing how you lust for achievement even if it can lead to your own felling"

Your mouth hung open, incredulous. This is the first time that you heard him express anything remotely positive regarding your kind despite his nonchalant way of speaking.

"I-Im..." you stammered, not entirely sure whether you should add to his thoughts or not. His eyebrows raised with perplexity, prompting you to continue "I don't think you can say that any creature is truly alive if they don't have anything they want to achieve, Master. If they do, they'd be as stagnant as a pond on a desert. Every creature has their own individual desires. The only difference is the weight of effort they use to achieve it or if they have the strength to cross the thin line that leads for that effort to be considered a sacrifice"

He seemed to approve of your answer, one thumb drawing lazy circles on your skin, his gaze never leaving you. A rosey tint decorates your cheeks, almost mimicking the blood on your palms as he slowly released it, your hands finding its way to your chest to feel the queasy beat of your heart. You were confused. All these years of blindly serving under Knives's command, you never quite felt like this. It is a strange feeling. It is as though butterflies had begun flying inside your stomach, your throat dry as he turned towards his piano again- not to play a piece but to place his fingers atop the sitting scarf, looking satisfied to say the least.

"I appreciate your gift. It's been so long since anyone has attempted to show gratitude of my existence" he admitted, looking as if he is deep in thought.

A deafening silence ensues and you stood there, nailed to your feet, processing the new found feelings drumming in your chest. When he started playing the piano once again, you contemplated wether he wants you to stay and listen or that you are already dismissed. You thought of the latter to be the clearer option and gave him a small bow before turning on your heels to leave. Your breath is heavy, but at least today is a success. You were able to show him gratitude like you've planned, a giddy smile painting your lips--- that is until he spoke once again.

"Your heart is beating faster than normal" he stated, a matter of fact.

You stopped on your tracks, wanting to slap yourself. Knives physically appears to be human- maybe a little bit more ethereal looking- but sometimes you forget that he's not just a man but a being graced by whoever created the universe and that he has the ability to sense what ordinary humans cannot.

"If there is something bothering you, tell me so. Take it as a reward for the little offering you have given me today" he proposed, as he continued to produce melodies with his fingers.

This is one of the rare occasions that he wants to talk to you. At the times that he did, it is to ramble about his plans or to brief you about a task that he wants you to execute. However, today, he seems to want to humor you- the human side of you- and the wonder that comes with it.

"Have you... ever celebrated your birthdays before, Master Knives?" you asked, not only because you are genuinely curious, but also to deflect the topic of whatever is happening currently to your heart.

He stops playing. You were familiar enough of the piece to know that he halted just three notes before the chorus. His head turns to you, his mood appearing more pleasant than earlier.

"Once. But that was a long time ago to even consider" he chuckled lightly, looking as though he was reminiscing a distant memory "With how everything is- the execution of my ideals and all- something such as the celebration of my creation does not seem to be of importance. I don't have the time or the company for it. However... It would seem that has recently changed"

He gave you a simper. Although this time, it appears to have a different meaning. You could compare it to the smirks men gave you back in your hometown. An expression that implies teasing? Maybe interest? You are not sure. It's not as if you have the time to understand it back then. A whip on your back from your former owner would be the result if you ever indulged on such attention. Nevertheless, you couldn't help but feel a heat travel to your cheeks. The butterflies are back again and there is this overwhelming of feeling... Shyness? Yes, its definitely shyness. It's as though you feel bare in front of him- vulnerable even- like you're suddenly concerned of the expressions that you show him, how your face look or if your hair is in place.

You attention was back to him when you saw him crook his head to the side. He is waiting a reply from you, and instinctively, you blurted out the first thing that came to your mind.

"T-then I promise that from now on, I will celebrate it for you! You are a grace to this world Master Knives. To your brother and your sisters. You are the light that gave us hope, even to a lowly human like myself. You can expect a gift from me every year. I will try my hardest to offer you the best!"

Your breathing was labored like your brain is floating in the clouds- a pleasant kind of high that will definitely have you addicted.

"You really think so highly of me?" he asked, smirk getting wider "I must admit, it feels good to have someone see me as such despite knowing that your fellow humans sees otherwise"

"What they think does not matter when they will be six feet underground soon" you spewed, voice filled with disdain "What matters most is how we, your loyal followers sees you. And I see you as my saviour Master Knives... Nothing will ever change that"

"Nothing you say?"

In a heartbeat, you saw a flash of light and heard the sounds of metal hitting against metal. Knives has stood up and is infront of you, looming down like a predator cornering his prey. You could feel his breath from how close he was, his scent- sweat, sand and sandalwood- fills your nose. Your eyes widens in reflex, not just because of the close proximity but because he has summoned his blades, their tips surrounding you similar to guns being aimed and ready to shoot.

"I saved your life. I own it and I could take it anytime I want" he dictated, one vine of razors making it's way to your throat and another encircling your waist. "You lowly humans think highly of anyone that you owe favors to. All these years, you have betrayed your kind, slaughtered on my behalf and harmed numerous cities. How can I be sure that a traitorous human like yourself will never turn back at me?"

One of his blades presses at the skin of your neck, drawing blood. You huffed at the sensation, irises never leaving his as you spoke.

"The day you took me from the abusive hands of my brethren was the day I officially thought of myself as a living being. You took me in, gave me a purpose and with that, I will support you until the day that your ideals came true" you enunciated, praising yourself inwardly for not stuttering "You can take my life at any time you want Master Knives, but please do know that I am prepared to offer all my time and strength for your cause. Giving me an early grave would set aside the things that I could have possibly contributed... " You bit your lip, somehow afraid of your next proposal "...perhaps I can show my undying loyalty by offering an arm or a leg instead?"

He leers at you, ice like orbs shining with amusement as the corners of his lips tugged into a impish smile. Somehow, despite clearly seeing his angelic features, you felt a cold chill climbing your spine.

"Close your eyes" he commanded.

And you did as you were told. You heard his blades move, the sounds comparable to a haunting lullaby to your ears. Millions of thoughts were running on your mind, distracting you from the inevitable pain that has to come. Briefly, you wondered wether the doctor will give you a prosthesis after this. Surely, carrying out tasks would be difficult with a missing limb.

And when you felt one of his blades hover against your right arm, you sucked in a deep breath. This will be extremely painful, your fingers trembling to at least have a leverage to hold on to. There is no furniture nearby and holding on to Knives's himself would probably cause you your neck as well. Thus, you took the most convenient path and bit the insides of your lips, prepared to feel your flesh and bones snap.

But it didn't came.

Instead, what you felt was a hand being placed on your cheek, your master's breath fanning your face as you peeked at him from beneath your lashes, his face merely centimeters from yours. Your eyes widens in surprise. He has initiated to touch you and hasn't let go even after a minute has passed. He appears to be observing you, a pleased expression crossing his visage as you looked at him with so much confusion. Still, you couldn't help but flush. Your heart has begun to beat faster again, the bashful feeling from inside you is back with a vengeance as your gaze lowered towards anywhere but Knives.

"Master, I----"

"I can't believe a pitiful human like yourself would have the strength to show me dedication like this.. I'm blessed to have met you" he cuts you off.

By this time, you're sure that you'd have to pick your jaw from the floor. He has directly praised you. Something he never did even to the doctor or Legato.

"T-thank you, Master Knives" you stammered, completely grateful from hearing his words.

He makes a contented hum, tucking a loose strand of hair behind your ear before he decided to let go, the place where he touched you now leaving a burning sensation on its wake. You watched him as he sat in front of his piano once again, fingers beginning to press it's keys as a satisfied smile lifted his lips.

"I appreciate your actions today Y/n. I am looking forward for what you have to offer next" he said, eyeing you playfully from his periphery "You're dismissed. I will call you when I need you... Something I assure you that will happen quite often"

There was a deep sultry tone when he spoke of the last sentence, a melody that has waked goosebumps on you more than the piece he is playing. With a bow, you left his lair, the widest smile fixed on your lips as you walked through the halls back to your room, wondering what kind of gift you would give him the very next year.

#wrote this in one night #no beta we die like Rem #also inspired by my convos with his chat ai #trigun stampede #trigun stampede x reader #trigun stampede fanfic #millions knives #millions knives x reader #millions knives x you #fanfic #a knives fluff no one asked for #if you could call it that

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