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#my little comedian baby
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okay so im finally catching up on all the d20 i missed why dud no one tell me starstruck odyssey was the best season they’ve ever done?!
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assembletheimagines · 2 months
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Can you do one where Bucky is your best friend and he finds out you have a praise kink and you find out Bucky has a bulge kink and one thing leads to another you now riding Bucky with his hand on your throat calling you a good girl and telling you you doing amazing while he points out how deep he is in you by the bulge. And when y'all are are done you fall asleep with him still inside you?
From- your deer fan
Good Girl
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a/n: The way you came in and attacked me like this- ugh, I'm here for it lmao. Please give me more haha
My thought process is you two are friends with building sexual tension and Bucky's finally had enough.
warnings: bucky’s big, praise, smut, cream pie, a smidge of dirty talk?? 18+ to interact
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You read the text, and then you read it again as you try to comprehend the little words in the bubble from Bucky.
You couldn’t believe it and at the same time you could feel the heat raise in your body as you read the texts again.
Bucky had to be joking, your friend had suddenly turned into a comedian over the last few hours of you two texting back and forth and he was joking.
But then another text popped up, now only containing your name and your breath caught in your throat as another text followed asking you to be a good girl and come over.
And so you did.
-
"Fuck baby, just like that, go nice and slow-" Bucky groans beneath you. His hands gripping your hips as your hand that's wrapped around his dick, slips the head of his cock inside your soaking pussy.
Your thighs were already shaking with just the head, your walls stretching to accommodate his girth. Fuck, it was so big.
"Bucky, I can't I-" your hands move to rest on his chest as you slowly lowered yourself further down. You felt so full with just the first few inches you couldn't imagine the feeling of all of him.
But all thoughts leave your mind as Bucky moves a hand to your clit. A whine leaves your mouth, head falling back as his thumb rubs swift circles causing a new wave of slick to form between your thighs and make you sink lower onto his dick.
"Yes you can," he hums, his thumb never letting up as your eyes roll back and his eyes train on where you two are connected. He watches as you take more of him, your cunt fluttering around his length as he bullies his way in. "See? You're doing so well, taking everything I give you." He coos and your face flushes at the praise, squeezing his cock in response.
And that's all Bucky needs to know, his smirk growing as his eyes darken. His dick twitches inside you and your ass sits on his thighs as you take all of him. Your drowning him, your slick dripping and smearing on his pelvis and balls and you were just getting started.
"Do you like it when I tell you how good you are?" Bucky hums and moves you up a little only to force you back down onto his cock. You both groan at the feeling and your walls tighten around him again as he repeats the actions slowly, still talking to you. "Because you're doing so well, so good, god you're soaking my cock with how wet you are." He groans and your hips roll, his praise fueling your own movements as you lift yourself up and then down again.
His cock is nudging the soft spot inside you with each bounce. Your mind beginning to fog with each roll of your hips. Your eyes become glossy and you begin to babble because it felt so good, you felt so full, " s-so good." Your words slur and Bucky can't look away from you as the lust takes over and you begin to fuck yourself onto Bucky eagerly. Your movements growing in speed as you dig your nails into his chest.
"That's it," he groans hands holding your hips as your moans mix with the wet squelching noise made every time you take him all in. "I want you to make a mess, baby." He grunts and thrusts up to meet your movements, watching your tits bounce with each motion. "I want you to cum on my cock, need to see how good I'm making you feel."
Your eyes flutter close as your thighs begin to shake, the familiar burn in your inner thighs forming as the knot in your abdomen grows. Each thrust has him hitting the soft spot inside you and you're seeing stars and you can't get enough. "Bucky," his name is the only coherent thing you can say between moans and gasps and Bucky's not much better.
You feel so good wrapped around him and his eyes zone in to your lower stomach. "Oh fuck, fuck, fuck-" Bucky curses as he realizes the bulge that appears and disappears with each thrust, is him. It's him.
And then you're falling forward as Bucky takes over, flipping you both so he's on top. Your legs find themselves over his arms as he snaps his hips into you harder and faster, his hand resting right over the bulge with each thrust.
He moves your hand to rest where his was and you can feel his cock move from inside you, and your mind blanks, body seizing up as your orgasm takes over suddenly. It makes Bucky curse more and move his thumb back down to your clit, his thrusts never letting up as he fucks you through your orgasm and chases after his own.
His eyes flicker down to your stomach again and with a few more rolls of his hips, he's pressing into you as far as he can as rope after rope of cum begins to fill you up inside. His mouth falling open, taking his turn to being the one babbling now. "Fuck, it's like you were made for me. Took me so well, and you're going to take all my cum, right? Be my good girl and let me stuff you full, yeah?"
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00ops1e · 6 months
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simon riley and fatherhood
When Simon came home from a deployment to find you, his sweet Mrs. Riley, about a month pregnant- he panicked.
He had never given much thought to children. To be frank, there simply was too much on his mind to even consider the possibility. Given his profession and upbringing, he always assumed parenthood just wasn’t for him. 
He knew you've always had a secret longing for a baby, keeping it to yourself out of respect for him and his sanity.
So, after the initial shock wore off, he couldn’t deny his excitement. Your giddiness certainly rubbed off on him. He acted a bit nonchalant, but you knew him better than that. 
You knew for sure there was nothing to worry about when you caught a glimpse at the open tabs on his computer, pregnancy blogs, lists and lists of names and ideas and tips 
The way he obsessively worked on the nursery was a big tell too, having taken time off to enjoy this privilege that he was lucky enough to share with you.
If he hadn’t initially panicked, he definitely started losing sleep when you found out it was a girl that you were having
Now, we all know and love Simon as a girl dad, but before he grows into the role, he’s a mess.
He’s terribly worried he won't be a good dad to her, that she won't be able to connect with him and somehow without that connection, he’d turn into his father.
For Christ’s sake Tommy was never able to give him a niece to prepare:(
Watching you nest, so excited for the arrival of your little girl, (along with a TON of late-night reassurance) He slowly let his worries slip away to enjoy the last couple of months with just the two of you.
If there  was any anxieties left, they melted away from him the moment he held your daughter for the first time. 
Half sitting on the hospital bed, pressed against you. His arms under yours, supporting your exhausted limbs. The limbs currently cradling your beautiful newborn.
He tears up while taking in the image of his girls, committing it to memory.
On those nights when it seems like sleep is the farthest thing from his daughter’s little mind, he stays up to soothe her.
Not so much because he’d rather you be able to sleep, more because he's completely infatuated with the way those little fingers wrapped around his one, the way babygirl seemed to relax when he spoke.
Simon walks up and down the length of the hall slowly, gently swaying with babygirl in his arms. There's definitely a visible trail formed by the heavy man’s constant, slow pacing.
When you wake up and find him not next to you, you rise and peek out the cracked bedroom door. Simon is lounging in the rocker, humming softly to babygirl. Talking to her as if she can comprehend his words. He is smitten.
To quote some comedian whose name I can't remember, he would take a bullet for you, but goddamn he’d use you as a human shield for this little life bundled in his arms. The love he has for the both of you scares him. He's completely whipped. 
Babygirl got your eyes, and lord knows he can't say no to you. This child will be the death of him.
this was supposed to be shorter but gd it was too heartwarming to stop. but moving on, HI GUYS LONG TIME NO SEE! sorry im morbidly depressed. anyway there will be a part two of this because its rotting my brain and i wanna take a look at when babygirl is older!!!! let me know what everyone's thoughts are please!
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allysunny · 2 months
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Hiii! Could you do 14+n with Bruce? 🤭 I know it takes a lot of effort to write but the fact that word count is a lot is not only bc he is bae (he’s the only man ever actually) but also bc YOU are suuuper talented. It’s insane. Anyway, than u in advance ❤️
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“You’re the best thing that has ever happened to me” + Pregnancy + Bale!Bruce Wayne
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Words: 4.1k words
Warnings: Pregnancy, fluff, a bit of crack (Bruce is so funny he could be a stand up comedian), Alfred is also hilarious, lots of protective Bruce and Alfred, it's just an overall very fluffy and sweet fic!! Not proofread though, so if I forgot anything, let me know!
A/N: Hey everyone! Here's another entry from my 200 Followers Event! This was so fun to write oh my god!!! I am a firm believer in the fact that Bruce Wayne would be an amazing partner, and a very fun person to be around. I truly think he'd have the most beautiful relationship with his partner, and I tried to convey it here!
So, I hope this was up to your expectations, and that you love it as much as I do!!!!
ᴬˡˢᵒ ᵒᵐᵍ ᴵ'ᵐ ˢᵒ ʰᵃᵖᵖʸ ᴵ ᵍᵒᵗ ᵗᵒ ʷᵒʳᵏ ʷⁱᵗʰ ᵍʳᵉᵉⁿˢ, ᴵ'ᵈ ⁿᵉᵛᵉʳ ᵈᵒⁿᵉ ᵃⁿʸ ᵍʳᵉᵉⁿ ʰᵉᵃᵈᵉʳˢ ʸᵉᵗ ᵃⁿᵈ ᴵ'ᵐ ᵛᵉʳʸ ʰᵃᵖᵖʸ, ᴵ ˡᵒᵛᵉ ᵍʳᵉᵉⁿ!!! ᴰᵃᵐⁿ ʸᵒᵘ ᶜʰʳⁱˢᵗⁱᵃⁿ ᴮᵃˡᵉ ᶠᵒʳ ⁿᵒᵗ ʰᵃᵛⁱⁿᵍ ᵖⁱᶜᵗᵘʳᵉˢ ʷⁱᵗʰ ˡᵒᵗˢ ᵒᶠ ᶜᵒˡᵒᵘʳˢ ˡᵒˡ
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The first thing you thought as you walked down the stairs of Wayne Manor was “We should get an elevator”, followed by “I’m never walking down these godforsaken stairs again”.
You weren’t lazy, not quite.
It was just extremely hard doing so now that your stomach was as big as a basketball.
You reached the bottom of the stairs and leaned against the marble railing, sighing deeply.
“Look, I love you, I really do. You’re my little bundle of joy, and you’re not even here yet,” you mumbled, placing a small hand on your stomach to support it. “But you need to give your mommy a break, alright? I can barely walk, and your dad wants to put me in a wheelchair. And we’re stubborn, baby, we are. So, we gotta prove to him we’re still capable of doing things on your own. Thing you can do that?”
You were met with a weird sensation; one you’d felt countless times before. Your baby was kicking. You didn’t think that to be a coincidence – you liked to assume your child was replying to whatever you said. You spoke to him quite often, mumbling about your day, telling him about all the things you did at the Manor or whenever you were out and about. Bruce was pretty sure you were already the baby’s favourite since he seemed to calm his kicking fits pretty quickly whenever you spoke to him.
You smiled at your bump and caught your breath, making your way towards the living room.
Alfred was in the kitchen, brewing a small cup of tea. He placed it on top of a silver tray and came out of the room. Once he got a good look at you, his eyes nearly popped out of their sockets, and he hurried to place the tray down and rush to your side.
“Madam Wayne, what in the bloody hell are you doing?” he asked, taking your arm. Alfred, just like Bruce, had taken a liking to assuming you weren’t even capable of opening water bottles by yourself. “I thought I told you to let me know once you came downstairs.” His tone was stern, but you could tell apart the layers upon layers of care.
“Alfred, if I take you up on that offer every time you make it, I’ll become spoiled. That’s not a message I want to pass on to my son,” you replied with a soft chuckle.
Alfred led you to the couch, where you sat down and groaned in relief. You were about 8 months pregnant, and absolutely huge, and everything felt terrible and uncomfortable. Bruce doted on you immensely, but you just wanted it to be over, wanted to get this baby out of you and into your arms.
“Your son is the heir to the Wayne name, Madam. I believe he will grow spoiled whether you like it or not.”
“Bruce will not be spoiling our child, Alfred,” you scoffed, “You know I won’t let him.”
“No one said anything about Master Wayne.” Was his reply, paired up with a cheeky grin.
You chuckled and tried leaning over to fetch the cup of tea Alfred had prepared. He of course did not let you, grabbing it before you had a chance to. He handed it to you with a soft “Here you go” and a cheeky smile.
Ever since you’d gotten pregnant, it was like Bruce and Alfred alike had made some sort of devilish deal to take upon themselves every burden and chore of yours. You were no longer allowed to do laundry, help Alfred with the dishes, tend to the garden, you weren’t even allowed to cook dinner for your husband anymore.
Instead, you were told to rest and not worry yourself and not tire yourself out.
It was annoying when Bruce did it, although you knew he had the best intentions at heart, but it was even worse when Alfred did it. Alfred, of all people. Your partner in crime, your close friend, the one who teamed up with you against Bruce, the one who made sure to always keep you in the loop of whatever was going on, the one person you knew you could trust in a sea of snobs and fake smiles (aside from Bruce, of course).
You often joked he’d betrayed you, no longer joining you to prank Bruce or get him to leave his office or his cave. No, now, it was the other way around, and you felt like you’d been stabbed in the back.
“One day you’re going to wake up, and I’m going to be shopping all by myself, far away from the both of you,” you sighed and sipped from your tea. It was your favourite and tasted as lovely as always – Alfred was almost like a magician.
“And risk giving Master Wayne a heart attack? What a loving wife you are.” Alfred replied smugly. “I guess true love really does manifest in the strangest of ways.”
“You’re a viper, Alfred,” you sighed. “A vicious, sneaky little viper.”
“Happy to be of service, Madam.”
You groaned.
That’s another thing you’d lost after the pregnancy – the privilege of having Alfred calling you by your actual name as opposed to any fancy titles. It had taken him a few years and a lot of begging from you; you were far too tired of “Mrs. Wayne” and you considered him more than a butler, but rather a friend, so why couldn’t he just address you by your name? And you’d managed to do it. Little by little, Alfred was calling you by your name, ditching the titles.
That was, until you said you were pregnant.
Now, not only you were back to titles, but you were also Madam.
When you’d asked Alfred why the sudden change, he said, “Not only you are Mrs. Wayne, but you are also carrying on the legacy of this family. You are Master Wayne’s wife, and now the mother of his children. It would be informal to refer to you as anything less than that.”
Safe to say, you were screwed.
You loved your guys, you did. Alfred played a huge role in your life, being friend and confidante and a father figure all at once. And Bruce was the love of your life.
But sometimes, all you wanted to do was strangle both to death.
“If you need anything, Madam, just call.” Alfred said before standing up.
“You know I won’t.”
“I know bloody hell you won’t, but I’ll be here nonetheless.”
You smiled and grabbed the book that was by your side, deciding on some light reading. The sun was shining brightly and casting a warm glow over the vast living room of Wayne Manor. You smiled at the sight. You loved peaceful afternoons like this, where the sun warmed your face and tickled your feet, and you could relax for a bit.
Today though, you were simply trying to pass time until Bruce arrived.
He was taking you out for a stroll in the park later, something you’d been begging for a while now, and you couldn’t wait.
It’s not like he kept you locked up inside the Manor – not at all. You were not a prisoner he held captive. He was just protective. Bruce had lost so much in his life; now that he had you and you were giving him a child, he wanted to do everything in his power to make sure you weren’t taken from him as well. He did not forbid you to go outside or carry on with your usual life – he was simply careful. Ever since you started showing, Alfred was to accompany you anywhere you needed to go, along with a bodyguard Bruce had hired just for you.
Bruce knew how cruel Gotham could be, and how vicious journalists and paparazzi could act just for a scoop, so he made sure to try and keep you safe, even if he wasn’t there to do it himself. And you had to admit, he’d been right. More than once had paparazzi tried to get pictures of your baby bump, or tried to interview you while you ran errands or shopped. It was draining, and you partly understood Bruce’s paranoia with your safety.
When you hit the 7-month mark and your belly had considerably grown in size, he was more alert than ever. You couldn’t leave the house without being accompanied, and if you wanted to go out at night, you had to let him know where and with who in advance. Not to control your every move (well, kind of to control your every move), but just to keep you safe, should he be out as Batman and couldn’t go out with you. And how could you not understand where he came from? Everyone knows poor Bruce Wayne’s story. Losing both his parents at a young age, being away from his own city for so long, leading an extremely lonely life all these years. He was not going to lose the one person that had brought him so much joy and hope for the future.
At first it had annoyed you a bit. “I’m pregnant, Bruce. I can still do things,” you had told him.
But one night, you caught him in your bedroom, shaking and crying. Earlier, you’d been intercepted by a few journalists – fanatics, more accurately – who’d cornered you against a wall and bombarded you with questions, even going as far as touching you, pushing you and pulling you so you’d be near their microphones and answer their questions. Bruce had been fetching your drink from a coffee chop nearby, while you waited for him outside (the line was long and it was bustling with activity, and Bruce did not want you near all the confusion), and he’d only caught sight of you when he came out, drinks in hand, and spotted your teary eyed expression, trying to get away from the reporters. The drinks were forgotten and spilled all over the sidewalk once they hit the floor, and Bruce was by your side in a flash, yelling at them and threatening them repeatedly. You were quick to hold onto him, terrified, and he wrapped his arm around you protectively, a cruel expression on his face.
And later when you got home, you’d caught him crying. You’d walked up to him and asked if everything was alright, and he had begged for your forgiveness. He kept mumbling about what could’ve happened if he hadn’t gotten there on time, about how terrible of a husband he was, leaving you all alone on the street, and about how you didn’t deserve him.
You’d sighed and pulled him up to kiss his lips softly.
“You’re an amazing husband,” you’d whispered in the quietness of your bedroom. “The best I could have ever asked for. And you have nothing to apologize for. It’s fine. We’re fine. Please don’t beat yourself up over it, I beg of you.”
Bruce had taken your face in his hands and kissed you, promising without words to do better, to be better. You kissed him back, assuring him no promises were needed.
The following morning, every news channel was flooded with reports of numerous journalists being fired due to the harassment of Bruce Wayne’s pregnant wife.
You’d looked at Bruce over your coffee, and he’d smugly ignored you.
Bruce had taken the news of your pregnancy extremely well. Of course he’d moped and worried for a while, commenting on how he had a duty as Batman, but also as your husband, nearly trying to figure out a way to split himself into two jus so he was able to take care of both, but a serious talk with Alfred (which you overheard partially by accident) sent him on the right track.
From that moment onward, Batman wasn’t in the picture as much. He did not give the mask up altogether – Bruce wasn’t going to stop trying his best for the city, and he had to make sure the tabloids did not put one and one together (even though no one in the public eye would ever guess the Bruce Wayne to be the Dark Knight) – but his mind was always on you.
And perhaps it was a good thing because Gotham seemed to be flourishing. Crime rates had gone down, and people walked a bit more safely at night. It was a breath of fresh air, knowing that Gotham could be transformed like that. Besides, Bruce did not want to worry you. Worry and stress were terrible for the baby, so he promised he’d do his best to give you none.
So far, it had worked, and your relationship had never been better.
Speaking of the devil, Bruce walked inside the living room, loosening the knot on his tie. His face looked tired, and sported a frown, something that you picked up on almost immediately.
“Good afternoon, handsome.” You smiled at him, and could see the way his shoulders visibly relaxed, how his feet moved towards you like second nature, the way his frown was quickly replaced by a smile.
“Good afternoon, beautiful.” Bruce sat by your feet and took your hands in his, as he usually did. He bent over to kiss you tenderly and place a quick peck on top of your belly before asking, “How’s our little peanut doing?” He rubbed soothing circles on your skin, and you melted into his touch, as you often did.
“Very active, as always. Hasn’t stopped kicking and won’t let me walk two steps without expressing its discontentment.” You huffed, before realising the words that had just left your lips. “But I’m fine,” you were quick to add, “Extremely fine, and we can totally still go for a walk in the park. It’s fine. I’m fine. Honest.”
Bruce eyed you curiously, and you recognised in his eyes the look he always gave you when he was trying to read you. Right now, you assumed he was trying to figure out whether you meant it or not.
“I swear. I’m fine. He’s just active. Come on, help me up. Let’s go.”
“Darling, are you sure?” he asked, lovely brown eyes filled with so much concern it made your stomach churn a bit. You hated seeing him like this. You knew it wasn’t your fault though – neither was it his. He was just a good husband. “If you’re tired, we can stay in. Watch a movie, order some takeout maybe – “
“Bruce, I promise,” you repeated, cupping his jaw. “He’s just active. Takes after his father.”
“Whoever that may be,” he joked, earning a chuckle from you.
“Now, help me up. I’m huge and want to go for a stroll with my husband.”
“Yes ma’am.”
Bruce helped you stand up and wrapped his arms around you. He brought you close and kissed you properly this time, lips trailing over yours as his tongue explored your mouth. Your hands came up to cup his cheeks and you smiled into the kiss, sighing in delight.
“Are you trying to distract me, Mr. Wayne?” you asked, peeking through your lashes.
“Maybe. Is it working?” he replied.
“Maybe. But not entirely. Come on. The weather is really nice today, and I really don’t wanna miss it. I’m going to get extremely upset with you if you kiss me out of going for a stroll. And you won’t like me when you’re mad.”
“I already don’t,” Bruce gave you one last peck and took you by the hand, leading you to the garage.
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Bruce had to admit, the weather was nice.
The sun was shining, but it wasn’t too hot to scald either of you. Birds were singing (something he had never heard before in Gotham), and flowers were in bloom. It was the perfect afternoon, and he was extremely glad he’d taken it off to be with you.
Speaking of you, you sat next to him, eating strawberries, and admiring the view in front of you. You loved this park – it was where you’d first met Bruce – and came here often, relishing in the pretty scenery and the calmness of it all. Gotham could be bustling with energy and light and noise, and while you’d come to grow fond of it (after all, it was home), you also appreciated those moments of quiet you managed to steal whenever you could.
“What about Benjamin?” you asked, turning to him. You were as radiant as ever, the light of the sun bathing your face in an ethereal glow. Bruce was sure that if angels existed, this is what they would look like. He caught sight of some strawberry juice dripping down your chin and collected it his finger, taking it to his mouth afterwards to lick it clean.
You wrinkled your nose.
“That’s disgusting.”
“Oh now, is it?” Bruce asked, feigning innocence. “Because I’m pretty sure last night, you asked me to – “
“What about Benjamin?” you repeated. Only this time, slightly louder, and with heat spreading across your cheeks.
Bruce chuckled and moved closer to you so he could steal a kiss. You tasted like strawberries and love, and he wanted to freeze this moment forever.
“Benjamin.” He repeated once he pulled away for breath, lips inches away from yours.
“It’s sweet. We could call him Ben.” You said with a soft smile.
“Benjamin when we’re angry.”
“Bruce!”
“You’re going to have my child; do you seriously expect him to be an angel?” He asked with a quirked brow.
“Ah, so now it’s your child.”
“It’ll be yours every time he gets in trouble.”
“With a father like you, I wonder if there’s ever going to be a time where he doesn’t.”
The two of you laughed and Bruce swore his heart was going to burst from all the love he felt. For a long time, he’d led a mostly lonely life, going to parties, and pretending to be a womanizer, a new model or actress on his arm whenever his photo was taken. It was sad, but necessary if he wanted to keep his Batman persona a secret. Only Alfred was allowed in, seeing as Bruce had no living relatives or any close family. He had Rachel, of course, but they didn’t speak as much as they used to, seeing as she was now engaged to Harvey Dent.
And then you came along.
And his lonely, monochrome life was turned upside down and splashed with colour.
Events and galas were now much more enjoyable because he had you by his side to talk to, kiss whenever no one was looking and make fun of all the high society extravagances he did not associate himself with. No longer did he wake up to silky white empty sheets, but a lovely woman who snuggled close and kissed his jaw and made him giggle and laugh and feel loved. So very loved.
“Anyway, I’m not sure I like Benjamin,” he said, tugging a lock of hair behind your ear and taking the opportunity to run his fingers through your radiant face. Up close, he could see the details of your face, the way your lashes framed your pretty eyes, how they sparkled in the sun. You were the loveliest woman he had ever laid eyes upon. “Any other ideas?”
“Theodore? We can call him Theo.”
“Theodore?”
“Nathaniel. Nathan.”
“I am going to divorce you.”
“All it took was bad baby names? Crap, I would’ve done this way sooner if I knew that’s how I got to get rid of you.”
He snorted and stole another kiss, cupping your cheek with his palm. You were man and wife, but most importantly you were friends. You were his best friend, his greatest confidante and partner in crime. There was no awkwardness between the two of you, never had been beside that small nervous feeling on your tummy during the first few dates. After that, you both became inseparable, and all nervousness was out the window. That’s why you could joke around so much – you trusted each other.
But of course, these were all jokes. Bruce worshiped the ground you walked on, and you loved him more than your own life. No matter how many jokes you cracked about situations like this, you were deeply in love with each other. At first, Bruce was a bit unsure about the jokes. He was afraid that deep down, you would mean any of the things you told him. But after a lot of reassuring, he realised it was simply your friendship blossoming even more. You were still friends. Only now, you were married.
After a while of kissing and stealing a taste of the strawberries you’d been eating earlier, he pulled away and smiled.
“Actually…” you started, “I’ve been thinking.”
“Scary stuff.”
You chuckled.
“About a name.”
“Doesn’t make it less scary.”
You pushed him jokingly and he kissed you once more, swiping his tongue over your lower lip and earning a sigh from you.
“I wanted to run it through you first.”
“Alright, hit me with your best shot.”
You took a deep breath and nodded once, before turning to face him again.
“Thomas.”
It took a while for Bruce to react. Thomas. You were thinking about naming your son Thomas. Like his father. He felt a flurry of emotions surge within him. First, he felt melancholy at the reminder that his father wouldn’t be here to watch his grandson grow. Nor would his mother. After that, he felt hurt. His son would grow up without a regular family. And then, all of the pleasant and positive emotions settled into his chest and he found himself smiling. He felt gratitude for you. He was so grateful to have you by his side. And then he felt happiness. Pure, sheer, raw happiness. He was so happy to be your husband. So lucky. So grateful.
“Thomas.” He repeated.
“Thomas. Tom.”
“Tommy.”
“Little Tommy Wayne.”
“Thomas Wayne.”
“Junior.”
“Junior?”
“Yeah, I mean,” you gesticulated, “After your father. Junior. Is that not how it works?”
“I think I would have to be Thomas in order for our son to be Junior.”
“Really? I thought you just added that to whoever. Thomas the second, then.”
“We’re not naming our son Thomas the second.” Bruce scoffed.
“Technically, he’ll be Thomas the second, you know.”
Bruce laughed again, and you smiled. How you loved seeing your husband smile. It made you feel all warm and fuzzy inside. Bruce was a beautiful person. Not just a beautiful man. A beautiful person. He was kind and caring, and extremely funny, and even though no one else in Gotham knew, he risked himself nearly every night to keep Gotham City safe. He was perfect. And all you ever wanted was for him to be happy.
The day you told him you were pregnant, you were sure your heart was going to burst with joy at the sight of him. He hugged you tightly, kissed your breath away, opened the windows and screamed out loud that he was going to be a father, wept a little, kneeled in front of you and kissed your stomach – the whole shebang.
And it almost made you weep with joy, because if your beloved husband was happy, what else could you possibly want?
“I love it,” he murmured, and you could spot the vulnerability in his gaze. It made you melt. It made you feel special, because you knew you were one of the only two people who Bruce allowed himself to be vulnerable with. Made you love and treasure everything you’d built together even more. “Thank you. I think it’s beautiful. Thank you so much. You’re the best thing that has ever happened to me. Have I ever told you this?”
“You have. Doesn’t mean I don’t like hearing it, though,” you smiled and sat up straighter so you could take his jaw in your hand. He turned his face and softly kissed your palm, which sent butterflies flying in your stomach – or perhaps that’s just your son. “I love you too, Bruce. So much. And I love our little family. Even if we haven’t gotten to meet our little Tommy yet.”
“I love our family too,” Bruce replied, before stealing another kiss. “And I’m sure we’ll be immensely happy. I already am.”
“Me too.” Another one.
The two of you remained like that for a while, talking, smiling, giggling, and stealing strawberry kisses from each other (not that you needed to steal – you could take anything from Bruce, and he wouldn’t mind) and watching as the sun slowly set, bathing Gotham in soft twilight.
And you knew, as the breeze blew, and you sat next to the man you loved, that the world could throw just about anything your way. Unknowingly to you, he was thinking the exact same thing. And as you looked into each other’s eyes and smiled, you knew. You knew that as long as you were together, you would be fine.
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A/N: And that's it! I know the ending is super cheesy, but I just love happy and cheesy endings... They make me all warm and fuzzy inside, and Bruce definitely deserves one!!!
Alright!!! I'll see you guys on my next drabble!!!
I hope you have a wonderful day ahead!!! <3
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stone-stars · 2 months
Text
happy 6 years of naddpod everyone <3 (alt title: the dragon pussy podcast making me cry for 6 minutes straight)
Transcript:
Mee Maw: That's true, but… there's also somethin' else. Murph: And you see she pushes her cloak to the side, and you see she has black scabs-- Caldwell and Jake: Oh, no! No no no! Moonshine: Oh, Melora! Murph: --and deep crick rot all over her chest and neck.
Marabelle, weakly: Jolene? I-- I didn't realize I was gonna get to-- say I was sorry. Moonshine (pretending to be Jolene): Thank you, of-- of course you're forgiven! I love you so much! You're my big sister!
Melora: You're not cursed. You were born like this.
Hardwon: (desperately) Gemma? Gemma? Gemma wake up. Gemma baby. Hey. Murph: You see she's-- she's-- she's cold and dead. Hardwon: Fuck!
Balnor: I couldn't help them. I can barely swing a sword. Alanis: There's a war coming, and everyone needs to fight. Even old men who don't know how.
Beverly, crying: No, he's-- he's my light. He's my Pelor! He always was! I strayed!
Bev Sr: You tell her the truth, Bev. You tell your mom that I died in the Feywild. Beverly: (crying) You know I'm bad at lying. Bev Sr: It's not a lie, Bev.
Deadeye: Yeah, I know I'm down a hand. And an eye. And a life. But I got a soul, and a family. And I finally know which is worth more.
Deadeye: I hate to think about what woulda happened to me, but maybe more I hate to think about who I still would've been if I had never met you.
Rosa: JV, I can't-- I can't find my lantern. JV: Aw, well look at that? There's a lantern right here. Rosa: Are you sure that's mine? JV: Yeah. Yeah, I'll-- I-- I'm gonna go look for mine.
Hardwon: --interpretation. I-- I-- Moonshine: Hardwon, I really don't want you to want to die, because I want you to live so much and I don't want to be alone in that feeling.
Lydia: Elias, is that you? Hardwon: It's uh-- It's still little Elias. You saved the child, ma.
Lydia: I don't know what I've been these past few years, I don't know what I've been these past few decades. But I want you to know that when I was your mother that... you were wanted.
Murph: Somebody who felt they could never have a child… um, is holding their child. Moonshine: I-- I didn't want to need you, dad, but… now that you're here… it-- it's kinda nice.
Murph: Your father has given you... a strategy guide on how to beat him. Caldwell: I have to look away so that the tears don't ruin the pages.
Beverly: (tearful) I don't want to go. I don't want to go. But I have to. It's my duty. I have to do this. Moonshine: Okay, youngin, I want you to know. I will love you whatever you choose to do. But, here's my two cents: A child has a duty to his father, but a hero has a duty to the world. Now, I've got my opinion of which you are. But it's time for you to decide.
Bev Sr: Thanks, Bev. I always-- I knew I could make the deal, because I knew you'd stop me.
Moonshine: (tearful) I-- I've been wanting to tell you about this for so long, and I just didn't get a chance to. And I don't know if I will, so I just wanted to make sure I told you.
Moonshine, crying harder as she goes on: Paw Paw. You are… You are my best friend. And you are the best part of me. (sobs) And I am so grateful. For-- (sobs) the fact that so much of our lives have been braided together. But… where I'm going, next-- after we beat Thiala, which we will-- you can't come, mmkay? So I just need to make sure that you are taken care of, and I need to make sure that you take care of some people, okay?
Pendergreens: This time, you picked me up. And you were nice to me for no reason.
Pendergreens: If when you come back... if I'm different? Moonshine: Mhm? Pendergreens: Just, remember me as I am now. 'Cause I like who I am when I'm around you.
Death: I will take everything from you-- Hardwon: Quit pointing at people! Death: --until you come with me. Hardwon: Ok-- I'll go! I'll go. Beverly: Hardwon, no! Hardwon: Bring her back, and I'll come. Bring her back.
Lydia: All my life, people told me what I had to be. You don't have to be anything other than what you are.
Lydia: I think you should talk to your friends. Not because you owe them an explanation, but because you deserve to be heard.
Melora: Beverly. Beverly: Yes? Melora: I wish you could grow up in a normal world, but the Gods have not blessed you with a normal life. You are… afflicted with duty. Things thrust upon you far beyond your years.
Melora: The world should have protected you, but you have been asked to protect it. What an honor, what an injustice.
Moonshine: How long do Half-Elves live? Mee Maw: You talkin' bout Hardwon? Moonshine: I mean-- It's on my mind.
Moonshine: I guess, if I'm being honest, I don't know what it's gonna be like to know Bahumia without Hardwon Surefoot. (tearful) And there's a part of me that doesn't want to find out what that feels like.
Moonshine: There is something sour I probably need to swallow, though. It is-- There's people you meet that are once in a timeless body lifetime kinda people, right? Mee Maw: Oh, yeah. Moonshine: Okay. Mee Maw: And you keep 'em with ya. Moonshine: Okay.
Moonshine: (crying) It's okay, Balnor. Like all the most powerful things in this world, I knew I was only borrowing you.
Hardwon: Moonshine, when-- When I left Irondeep, I-- I didn't know where I fit in. And then I met you, and you didn't just let me in. You brought me in, and you thought I was good.
Balnor: I hope that you all get to leave this world with the same comfort that I had: knowing that it's in good hands. I love you. Murph: "Your knight, Balnor."
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jarofstyles · 7 months
Note
22 ☹️
SCREEEECH yes bc I love drunkrry and it fits in my brain. Here’s a baby blurb
Numbers for the prompts
Patreon
----
Y/N was trying hard to pay attention to the uber location on her phone, but it was becoming increasingly obvious that was not going to happen.
Not if a large, giggly, drunk man with unsteady, gangly limbs wrapped up around her like a life support had anything to do about it.
"Baby. Babyyyyyy." A honest and true whine came from her boyfriend's mouth, fingers squeezing her sides and somehow burrowing his face closer into her neck. "S'enough. The car will- it'll come when it comes. I want y'to hug me back." If he wasn't attached to her, she was positive he would have stomped his foot on the sidewalk.
It was cold out, his arms underneath the jacket she had stolen from his closet earlier. His fingers had wiggled their way under her shirt and tucked under her waistband. He was being cheeky, hands on her ass under the safety of the jacket and holding the bare skin but he didn't make a move to go further. Normal clingy Harry had absolutely nothing on drunk, clingy Harry.
"I just want to be sure I'm paying attention, H." She laughed, tucking the phone into her jacket pocket. He was for sure gone, giggly and stumbly like a baby deer. Harry rarely got drunk drunk, but each time amused her more than the last. Her boyfriend was always a bit goofy and silly, but introduce alcohol it could go a few different ways. So far she had seen comedian Harry, professor of aquatic pets Harry (He watched online videos), Business mogul Harry (telling someone at the bar the deal was bad, all while not knowing a thing about the business- he was convincing), Historian Harry, DJ Harry, the list goes on. This had to be her favorite, though.
Harry just liked being loved on. Giving love, receiving it, but especially from her. When he spoke, he would make sure she was looking or listening, pouty when someone else had her eyes or ears. Once he passed the tipsy line, he was a bit of a cute little menace.
"Jus' give me a cuddle. Please?" He mewled. "I'm cold and tired and I wanna go home, but I want to cuddle." there was a pause. "Hey, when the car comes, you should sit on my lap. It'll be warmer."
"Not safe, Darling." She cooed, not wanting to upset him. He tended to cry easier in this state. "We can cuddle in bed when we get home. You need to brush you teeth and change." A shower was not going to happen, simply because she knew the moment she got in there to hold him steady he would try to grope her and insist they should do at least 'hand stuff.'
"You're no fun." He huffed, though his demeanor changed once she laid her head on his chest and hooked her arms around him, mirroring him by tucking them under his coat. Thankfully her boyfriend was a furnace. "Fine. We can cuddle at home. And kiss." The last part snuck in must have seemed smooth to her, but she could almost hear his though process.
"Alright, H. After you drink some water and brush those teeth. Can't lose the bunny teeth from rot, can we?"
"Nope." He popped the P, tugging her closer. "We won't." The words muffled as he hid his face back in her neck, one hand abandoning her ass to tuck her head right in the same place on him. "Not gonna lose any teeth annnnnd we're going to cuddle. And kiss. And maybe do hand stuff." The last not so slick add in made her bite him through his shirt lightly, making him whine.
"No. Too bad, drunky pants. Nothing until you're stone cold sober. Y'know the rules." Her stern words were ruined by how cute he was, the wet little pout making her sigh before placing a chaste peck to him. It seemed to perk him up well enough.
"Yeah... You're right. Kay. We will canoodle and do hand stuff in the morning."
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its-time-to-write · 11 months
Note
This may be a bit of a strange idea (Feel free to ignore this request)
But since your about Jaime Tartt baby fic. I had the thought of Jaime trying to give reader a break takes the baby in a stroller to training with Roy and Roy is just kind of like WTF and other hijinks ensue like maybe someone flirts with Jamie with the baby or roy gets left with the baby at somepoint or Reader is freaken out cause the baby is gone. IDK just an idea that has been stuck in my head since I read your baby fic
Dude this request was not strange AT ALL. It was actually nice because it was similar to something I wanted to write, and I haven’t been able to do that because I’ve been doing requests. THANK YOU.
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i’ll still be right next to you my dear
Your daughter Bea is five months old. You’re still sleep-deprived, but less than you were a month ago. Jamie does his absolute best as her dad and your husband, but the weight of it still falls to you. Things have gotten considerably less tense, too, since you moved out of the flat and back into your house. It was weird at first, both you and Jamie walking on little eggshells around each other. 
The tension was broken with an all-hands-on-deck moment at 1am, when Bea had a stomach bug or something, and you two had no choice but to just laugh in resignation at the sheer enormity of the mess she made. There go the beginnings of sleep training. 
Bea had her own schedule, one that involved being an early bird like her dad. She would wake up five to ten minutes before his 3:30 alarm went off, and it got to the point where he barely even set it anymore. 
Jamie would get out of bed, throw on some pants, change her, and then zip through his morning routine. He’d put her back to bed, give you a half-awake kiss, then be out the door before Roy could knock. 
(Roy made that mistake early on, waking Bea. You thoroughly chewed him out in an exhausted rage. Jamie says it’s the closest thing he’s ever seen to Roy crying).
Anyway, at 3:55 this Saturday morning, Jamie kisses you, says, “I’ve got Bea, so sleep in,” and is gone before you even know what’s happening. 
You flop back on the pillow and are out in seconds. 
“The fuck is this?” Roy says the moment Jamie steps out the door, pushing a happy Bea in her jogging stroller.
“The fuck does it look like?” Jamie replies. “Her mum needed sleep, so Bea’s joining us for training.” He leans over the stroller to look at his daughter and coos, “Isn’t that right, angel?”
Bea makes a delighted gurgle and Roy grunts.
“Oh come on, don’t tell me the great Uncle Roy is daunted by a silly wee baby?” Jamie says, grinning. “You are Bea’s favorite.”
Roy glares at Jamie. “Don’t fucking lie to me, everyone knows Sam’s her fucking favorite. She even likes fucking Isaac better than me.”
Jamie pouts. “Don’t listen to him, Bea. We know you love Uncle Roy, even though he’s being a twat.”
Roy just grunts and looks at Bea. “You know how I feel about you, kid,” he says. She babbles. She knows. 
“Alright, come on. Suppose the stroller gives your dad some extra weight while he runs.”
Jamie grins, and starts jogging down the street.
You wake up to the sound of silence. No Bea, no Jamie. Just birds chirping and the sun shining. You squint at the clock. 8:37am. You reach for your phone and see a selfie from Jamie of him, Bea, and Roy marked 7:02am with the caption, headed to breakfast! 
You now have a hazy recollection of Jamie saying something about taking Bea when he left, but it felt like a dream at the time. The silence makes more sense now. 
You smile and send heart emojis. I love you! you type. 
love u 2, Jamie replies. Then: I hope that was for me not Roy?
You shake your head. That boy. He thinks he’s a comedian.
You roll out of bed and stretch. Time for a nice, long shower, then a good coffee from Jamie’s complementary espresso machine. You’re not gonna lie, there are certain perks to being married to a footballer.
Meanwhile, Jamie and Roy have stopped for breakfast at a café that Roy says fits in with Jamie’s diet. He says no coffee and Jamie makes a disgusted face and replies you’re not the boss of me, which is why they’re letting Bea decide if Jamie gets coffee or not by seeing who will get her to smile first. 
Jamie wins, of course. It’s part of being a dad. 
They’re sitting at a table outside till 9am, Bea out of her stroller and in Jamie’s arms. They’re on their third cups of coffee and Bea’s draining her bottle of formula like there’s no tomorrow. Jamie is in the middle of stroking Bea’s nose (a miniature version of yours) and watching her eyes blink slow, when two girls walk up to their table. 
“Ohmygod, no way, is that your baby?” one girl asks. 
Jamie looks up and gives a polite, perfunctory, “yeah,” and turns back to Bea. Roy’s sitting back in his seat, ready to watch this unfold. 
“It is like, so totally adorable. There’s something so sweet about a baby, don’t you think?” the other girl says, putting her hand on Jamie’s shoulder. He shifts away as politely as he can. 
“I just think that like, men with babies are so much hotter than men without babies,” girl 1 continues, oblivious to Jamie, who has shifted Bea onto his chest and is displaying his left hand as conspicuously as possible. He taps Bea’s back with his ring finger in what he hopes is an absentminded manner. 
Roy holds back a snort.
“Especially single dads,” says girl 2. “Soo hot. I’ll give you my number if you ever need a babysitter.”
She’s barely done speaking when Jamie blurts out, “I’m married.” He looks so harried that this time Roy can’t hold back a laugh. The girls turn to him with a glare, then back to Jamie. 
“She doesn’t have to know,” says one of them. 
“Pretty sure she does,” Jamie replies. “And anyway, I ain’t interested. Have a good morning.”
Bea, the angel that she is chooses that exact moment to start burping. 
The girls give her a disgusted look and turn away. 
Roy looks at Jamie, eyebrows raised and a ghost of a smile on his face. ���Nice fucking move with the ring finger,” he says. “If it were me, I’d’ve fucking given them a different fucking finger.”
“That’s where you and me differ, granddad,” Jamie replies, wiping spit up off his vest (waterproof, thank god), “I’m a gentleman.”
Roy rolls his eyes and shakes his head. 
— 
The windows are open, the laundry is spinning, and you’re dancing around the house. You love Bea, but god you also love good rest. And a clean house. And Jamie Tartt. Man, you love him. You can’t believe he took Bea out for the whole morning and knowing him and Roy, they’ll be out until at least 11am. You smile. That gives you time to head to the shops and pick up some flowers, which will make you feel like a civilized human being, one who has her life together and can take care of her child and her husband and maybe, just maybe, one who is in the mood to get laid tonight. 
Jamie and Roy are strolling through Richmond, passing by shops and enjoying what feels like the first lovely day in ages. Jamie hasn’t heard from you since you asked is this shirt clean or dirty? with a picture near the washing machine. He knows Saturday cleaning is like a ritual to you, one you picked up in high school and carried on through college. You have a system and you take your time, windows open and music playing. He can picture you spinning around the house putting things away, and that mental image is enough to make his face split into a smile. He remembers the Saturdays you spent before Bea, you cleaning and dancing, and him, well, not helping but certainly dancing with you and promising that he’ll give you more dirty sheets to wash if you’d just take a tiny little break? In the bedroom? With no clothes on because they need to be washed, wink wink?
It usually worked. 
You’d lay in bed for precisely ten minutes afterward, take a no-nonsense shower, then kick him out of the house. He’d be gone for an hour, buying you that chocolate you liked and whatever flowers he thought suited the day. There’s a good thought. He should get you flowers, a reminder of their early days of romance. And maybe, just maybe, Bea can sleep soundly enough that they can revive other traditions, too. 
“Roy,” Jamie begins.
“No.”
“Oi, you didn’t even let me finish!” he says indignantly.
“Fine. What do you fucking want.”
“It ain’t for me,” Jamie says, “it’s for Bea. And my wife. I want to get her flowers, but it ain’t easy to push the stroller and look. Can you take Bea around the green? I’ll come find ya when I’m done.”
Roy stares at Jamie, and Jamie is sure he’s going to say no. But then Roy walks around to the front of the stroller and crouches down in front of Bea. 
“If your dad fucking goes and gets flowers for your mum, do you promise to be alright for twenty minutes? I know I’m not fucking Sam or Isaac, but Phoebe thinks I’m a good uncle. She’s a proper fucking dweeb, but a good judge of character.”
Bea just stares at him. Roy slaps his thighs and stands up. “Alright,” he says. “Let’s go.”
Jamie grins and says, “Bye, Beatrice. Be good for Uncle Roy.” He gives her a kiss on her forehead, a boop on the nose, and is gone, weaving through Richmond, man on a mission. 
“Your mum’s a fucking saint for putting up with him,” Roy says to Bea. Bea says nothing. She’s fallen asleep. Roy shrugs and starts pushing her in the direction of the green. Better asleep than crying. 
You’re showered, dressed, with just a touch of makeup, and you’re on your way to the flower shop. There’s this little one you and Jamie used to go to. You know the owner a little, but you suppose Jamie knows her better because he’s been in more. She’s about the age of his mum, and has a soft spot for him. He overpays and always leaves one flower for her. He hasn’t had the time to be over since Bea, so you say hello and show her some baby pictures, and then some of Bea and Jamie. You both laugh over your favorite, Jamie passed out on the couch, mouth open, wearing gray sweatpants and a single sock, with Bea on his stomach in a gray onesie and a single sock. She’s drooling on him and his hair’s a mess, but you think it’s adorably hilarious. Like father, like daughter. 
Now, you’re perusing the flowers. It smells wonderful, the warm weather diffusing the fragrances through the shop. You turn a corner and bonk straight into a man with his back turned to you. You open your mouth to apologize and he turns, and out comes, “Jamie?”
He smiles and you peer behind him. “Where’s Bea? Oh my god Jamie, did you lose our daughter? She had better be close by, I swear to god, Jamie Tartt, how do you lose an entire baby, especially one as noisy as Bea?!” 
You’re oblivious to Jamie’s attempts to interrupt your rant, so when you pause for a breath he says, “love.”
You turn to face him, from where you were trying to stand on your tiptoes hoping for a glimpse of Bea’s stroller. 
“I didn’t lose her. She’s with Roy. D’you really think I’m that irresponsible?” 
He looks so hurt that you realize what you’ve been saying. Your hands fly up to your mouth. Of course Jamie wouldn’t lose Bea. He loves her. He looks at her as though she makes the stars shine. 
“Babe. I’m so sorry. I don’t know what I was thinking. I just wasn’t expecting to see you, and then I wasn’t expecting to see you without Bea, and I thought I’d surprise you by getting flowers before you both got back, and-” you stop. Jamie is gently holding your face and smiling, no longer hurt. 
“Babe,” he says, “love of me life and best mum around, it’s ok. I know whatcha mean.” He tucks a stray strand of hair behind your ear. “Bit funny we had the same idea, innit?”
You smile. You’d been so caught up in your split-second worry about Bea, you didn’t even realize what was happening. 
“Guess some things don’t change,” you reply. “You pick out any good ones?”
Jamie places his hand over his heart. “Love. I only pick out good ones. I picked you, didn’t I?” You laugh at his sparkling eyes, and put your hands on his waist, pulling him close. 
“Pretty sure I picked you,” you reply. 
Jamie hums. “That’s a fuckin lie, and you know it.”
Your feeble retort is cut off by his lips on yours. 
You and Jamie walk toward the green, hand in hand. He’s holding bright yellow daffodils in the other. 
Jamie spots Roy first. “Oi!” he yells, “look who I found!”
You wave, jog over to Bea, and crouch down. “Hi baby! I missed you! Did you have fun with Uncle Roy?” Bea babbles at the sound of your voice. 
“Oh good,” you reply, “he is your third-favorite uncle, after all.”
Roy nods. “You fucking get it. Jamie tried to feed me this fucking bullshit that I was fucking number one.”
“Jamie!” you say. “Everyone knows it goes Sam, then Isaac, then Roy.”
Jamie puts his hands up defensively. 
“Honesty,” Roy says, “Such an admirable quality. Remind me again why you’re with this fucking prick?”
You pretend to think for a moment then say, “For his money.”
Jamie says “Oi!” so you quickly amend, “And his smokin’ hot body.”
Jamie nods, satisfied. “That’s better.”
Roy is looking at Jamie in disgust. “You two are so fucking adorable, it’s fucking disgusting. C’mon Bea. I see Sam over by that bench. Let’s give these fucking idiots some time alone.”
You and Jamie turn to each other. 
“He said we’re adorable,” you say, grinning. 
“He said we get alone time,” Jamie says, grinning back. 
“Roy!” you call, “how much time do we have?”
“Three hours!” Sam yells back. “I want to walk Bea to my restaurant!”
You and Jamie turn back to each other, giddy. 
“You know what that means,” you say. 
“Sex,” he replies immediately. 
You laugh and grab his hand. “C’mon, babe. Let’s enjoy our alone time.”
As you walk away, Jamie says, “Oi, need to tell you about these girls who were trying to flirt with me. But don’t worry, I gave them the finger.” He holds up his ring finger and you slap his arm. 
“This is why I love you.”
“Really? And here I only thought you were with me for my money,” he replies. 
“And your hot body. Don’t forget that one,” you say. 
“How could I forget?” he says. “When we get home, let’s put it to some good use.
913 notes · View notes
softspiderling · 2 months
Note
rafe cutting up fruit in the kitchen from the valentine's day i love you prompts??
prompt: shoulders hunched over a chopping board, carefully dissecting fruit to deliver it to you in a bowl from the valentines "i love you" prompts
☆⠂⠄⠄⠂⠁⠁⠂⠄⠄⠂⠁⠁⠂⠄⠄⠂ ⠂⠄⠄⠂⠂⠄⠄⠂⠁⠁⠂⠄⠄⠂⠁⠁⠂⠄⠄
The other side of the bed was cold when you woke up, which was odd. Usually, you had to be the one dragging Rafe out of the bed, when he didn't have any plans in the morning, always lamenting that he "needed his beauty rest". You checked your phone to see if he left you any messages that he had to run out, but nothing.
"Huh," you muttered to yourself, rubbing the sleep out of your eyes and getting out of bed. You considered trying to call him as you made your way downstairs, pausing when you heard cluttering from the kitchen.
"... Rafe?"
The cluttering stopped and you heard Rafe curse under his breath, your lips curling up in a grin as you stood frozen on the stairs.
"You think you can give me like, five more minutes, baby?"
"Trying to hide your side piece?"
You could basically see Rafe rolling his eyes at you, and you bit back a laugh.
"Feeling like a real comedian today, huh?"
"I'm hilarious, actually," you deadpanned, padding towards the kitchen, only stopping when Rafe called out your name, almost pleading.
"Five minutes. "
Sighing softly, you tipped your head back in disbelief. "Seriously?"
"Just- Go back to bed. I'll be right up. Five minutes, I swear."
"Fine," you sighed, turning back around. "Not a second longer, Cameron, you hear me?"
You headed back upstairs, stopping by the bathroom to brush your teeth and tame your hair, before you crawled back into bed, checking the time. Even though you had just threatened to return back downstairs as soon as the five minutes were up, you decided to be less of a menace for once, scrolling on the phone until you heard Rafe coming back upstairs. You were all ready to tease him as soon as he stepped into the bedroom, but your words died in your throat when he came in, back first, turning to face you with a breakfast tray in his hands.
"Rafe..." you said softly, eyes wide as he slowly placed the tray on the bed. Pancakes, fruit salad, coffee, bacon, even orange juice were spread out in front of you.
"Morning baby."
He kissed you on the cheek before sitting back, grinning brightly at you.
"You hungry?"
You only nodded dumbly, opening your mouth when he lifted a spoon full of fruit salad and you almost moaned when the tiny pieces of fruit hit your tongue.
"Oh my god, this is amazing."
"Touch of lemon juice and honey does wonders," Rafe said, eating a spoon himself, but you only narrowed your eyes at him.
"Did you do this yourself?"
Rafe gave you a look and you gave him one back, lifting the bowl of fruit salad, as if to make your point.
"You cannot seriously tell me that you cut all this fruit up yourself. And made pancakes."
"You sound surprised."
You snorted, putting the bowl back down. "Didn't you guys have a cook and everything in the prime time? Sue me for thinking you're helpless in the kitchen."
"Well, joke's on you for underestimating a Kook," he teased, handing you a coffee mug, which you sipped you accepted, holding it carefully. "I uh.... Used to make breakfast for my dad. Me and Sarah. He always thanked Sarah like she did it all on her own and never said a word to me, so after a while I just... Stopped. But I figured you'd be a little more grateful than him."
Holding your mug, you stared at Rafe, your heart almost breaking for the poor boy in front of you.
"Rafe..."
He looked up and huffed, shaking his head. "Stop looking at me like that. 's fine, I got you now, right?"
"Of course," you said with a big smile, picking up a strip of bacon with your hand, to which Rafe only pulled a face.
"God, you can never take the Pogue out of a girl, can you?"
⠁⠁⠂⠄⠄⠂⠁⠁⠂⠄⠄⠂ ⠂⠄⠄⠂⠂⠄⠄⠂⠁⠁⠂⠄⠄⠂⠁⠁⠂⠄⠄⠂ ⠂⠂⠄☆
a/n: it was so easy to go down the route of rafe not knowing how to do anything in the kitchen except destroy it but i took a diff approach heheheh thanks anon for the request i hoped you liked it!! inbox is open my friends!! also tagging @sunderlust bc i can
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updatingranboo · 9 months
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ranboo tweet... uh
["This was such a good joke and I am appalled by the fact that it has not gone absolutely bonkers viral. I mean is comedy dead? I just dont understand how a regular human being can read the word "Greans" (A combination of green and jeans) followed by an image of, well, green jeans, and not absolutely evacuate themselves in laughter.
I believe this has something to do with the fact that comedy as we know it is dying. It has become too mainstream in todays media and that is the main problem. Gone are the days where silly little guys in their silly little hop hats are able to go "knock knock" and absolutely change the world. Nowadays you have to have so many things that go into a joke for it to remotely even be funny, setup, punchline the whole ordeal. Whatever happened to just a simple Practicality joke? Whatever happened to just being able to slap someone and be the headlining act?
The world is so full of so called "comedians" these days it makes me sick. All these people do is spend hours writing and practicing their act in order to try and sway an audience to have a good time listening to their words. For SHAME! Comedy used to be just two people on a stage just slapping eachother and going "knock knock" for twenty hours. Whatever happened to the good ol days where people just laughed at whatever someone said because their brain hadnt fully developed?
This is why I believe that I am going to start performing my comedy acts to a bunch of babies. An absolute hoard of newborns. I will make my jokes to them and they will laugh for they truly understand what humor should be. I will go to a hospital in that little room they have where it is very easy to switch said babies and cause a bit of a ruckus, but instead of doing that (very funny joke) I will simply perform for them and relish in their cheers and guffaws.
It is sad that one has to turn to performing to just babies in order for the world to understand the complexity of ones said humor, but alas if its what I must do its what I must do. Maybe one day we will revert back to absolute comedy anarchy, where the chicken has not yet crossed the road, but until then I will continue to strive and push forward in this dark age of comedy.
Maybe a complete reset of what we find funny is in order, maybe we have lost what humor once was for us. We obviously have considering my VERY FUNNY TWEET does not have a bazillion likes and has not spun off at least 30 million movie deals. (Please note that this joke is satire, and Ranboo stands in solidarity with the SAG-AFTRA strikes. Support actors and writers. -A message from Ranboo)
I spent time and effort making this tweet, I saw the green jeans in front of my eyes (which are very squishy) and my neurons fired and made this absolute gem of a joke. I was excited to share it with the world, I tweeted it nearly right after I saw it, excited to see what new adventures this tweet could bring me. I went to bed all cozy smiling like a child on christmas eve night, excited for the morning. When I woke I turned to check my phone instantly, my eyes racing to see the like total. What would it be? 500k? A million? I was surprised that my dms hadnt blown up with a personal message from every billionaire going "let me give you all of my money I can never make anything as good as your "Greans" tweet" but It must have been a glitch.
I was appalled to see that my tweet had only 30K??? 30K for the pinnacle of all of human achievement? A slap in the face of innovation is what it felt like. Like when that thomas edison guy ate a stolen lightbulb or something idk what he did really but I remember the person who made that lightbulb which he ate probably felt really sad and I felt really sad so I felt a deep connection with that person.
I quickly fell into a great depression, this is what all of my life had lead up to: one sad tweet. I didnt see the outside for years because of this tweet. I thought to myself "why would they do this?", "Isnt humanity supposed to be kind, supportive, and have a sense of humor when it comes to differently colored jean jokes?" (dcjj as I call them), and "Man I should probably have a burger" (I did) (very yummy) but as I ate my burger all I could taste were my TEARS as I chomped into it from the top down. It felt like I couldnt do anything right. Until thats when it hit me.
Im not the problem, EVERYONE ELSE IS! My humor isnt "bad" or "unfunny" or "makes me want to find a microwave and cause it to malfunction so I either become the hulk or die" (Please do not try this. -Another Ranboo message) It has to be that simply I am so far ahead in the world when it comes to comedy that my time has simply just not yet come! My jokes will be funny to a different generation, which will be frowned upon at first but I will quickly be welcomed with open arms, and told that I am an innovator, a true scholar of all that is funny.
And so I wait for that day. I wait for the day that people look back on my Greans tweet and realize, that without a doubt that it is the funniest thing that they have ever seen. The problem is not with my joke, the problem is with the world, and thats what makes humanity beautiful, is that it evolves, it changes, it doesnt stick to its mindset that a tweet that has the word "Greans" followed by a pair of green jeans doesnt get a BAZILLION LIKES! I wait for that day, and for those of you who are with me, I hope you wait patiently as well. Stay strong."]
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the-offside-rule · 3 months
Text
Pedri Gonzalez (FCBarcelona) - Peek-A-Boo
Requested: Yes
Prompt: 3) Playing peek-a-boo while shopping
Warnings: none
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"Okay, next up is pasta." Y/n said, pulling the trolley whilst Pedri pushed it gently along. "Will we be much longer? I'm bored, Y/n." He said. "Well the sooner we get the pasta, the sooner we can leave." He looked down to see his daughter, Isla looking around in awe of the Supermarket. It must have been the lights or the colours or something. He found himself now in awe of his little one. Isla looked up to her Dad, looking so effortlessly adorable. Pedri couldn't resist the opportunity to entertain her. As Y/n browsed the aisle at the different types of pasta, he slyly played peek-a-boo, making funny faces that elicited giggles from their little one.
Y/n caught onto Pedri's antics, a playful smirk forming on her lips. "Peek-a-boo in the pasta aisle, really?" she teased, her eyes sparkling with amusement. Pedri chuckled, not missing a beat. "Well, you know, the macaroni seemed to appreciate my theatrics." Their baby gurgled with laughter, completely enchanted by Pedri's playful demeanor. Y/n shook her head, grinning, "You're lucky Isla finds you hilarious. Imagine if someone caught you doing this in the produce section."
Pedri shot her a mock offended look. "I'm just spreading joy, Y/n. Besides, our little one loves it, don't you, champ?" The baby cooed in agreement, and Y/n couldn't help but laugh at the adorable scene. "Alright, Mr. Comedian, let's finish shopping before you turn the whole of Mercadona into your personal comedy club." Pedri winked, holding back another round of peek-a-boo. "Deal, but only if you promise to laugh at my jokes forever."
Y/n rolled her eyes playfully. "Forever might be a stretch, but I'll give you today." She threw a bag of pasta into the trolley. "Ready to go now?" He smiled. "I never thought we were gonna leave this place." Y/n shrugged her shoulders. "I don't know. Every comedy club needs their comedian."
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writingsbychlo · 10 months
Note
How would our drunk batboys will react with their mates ? 😭❤️
RHYSAND:
"(Y/N)!" Rhysand's sudden shout was out of the blue, enough to make you jump as you lounged on the couch, book on hand. Closing it gently after marking the page, you listened to the chaos. "Darling! My darling!"
You listened as he stumbled to kick off his shoes, the sound of material hitting the floor - his jacket failing to make it to the coat hook, no doubt - and fell into the wall.
"Where are you?"
"I'm right in here, Rhys." You finally spoke, giggling a little but the sound was quickly cut off as the man appeared before you. Facing the wrong was, his winnow brought him unsteadily right to the edge of the couch, and he spun on his heel, whipping around to find you. As his gaze landed on you, a sunshine-smile split his face. "Hello, my love."
"My darling, my mate. Hi." And with that, he gave you no time to discard your book, before he was falling down atop you, crushing the air from your lungs and ignoring your groaned complaint. "Missed you."
"You're crushing me!"
"Missed you. Say it back." He left a kiss to your neck, another on your shoulder, and you wrestled your arms free from underneath him.
"I would if I could breathe!"
Propping himself up on shaky arms, his nose bumped your own, a soft kiss brushing across your lips, and you could still taste the whiskey on his lips. "You don't normally complain this much when I'm on top of you."
"Always so full of jokes when you drink, huh?"
"I'm a comedian, darling!"
AZRIEL:
"Hi, baby, I love you," Az mumbled, smiling so wide his eyes closed and his dimples were on full display. "Hi, baby! I love you!"
"Welcome home, Azzy." You teased, raising your brows at him as he swayed a little on the spot, standing at the end of the bed. "Did you have fun?"
"Yeah, but I missed you."
"Do you wanna get ready for bed, and then come cuddle?" Holding your arms open, he nodded happily, making no move to actually shift from his spot, his eyes closing again.
"Saw a girl that had a purple dress like yours."
"Oh, yeah?" You sighed, trying to resist the smile tugging at your lips as you kicked off the covers, making your way over to him. At the feel of your hands on his arms, slowly trying to guide him, his gaze popped back to you. "Was it a better dress than mine? Mine is old, now."
"You wore it on our first date!" He mused, letting you guide him towards the bathroom, only to be seated on the edge of the tub, wings drooping behind him. "I'll buy you a new purple dress if you want."
"That's okay, Azzy. I have plenty of dresses." Your words were all but pressed to his ear as you leaned around him to find the catches under his wings, and he hummed happily, looping his arms around you like a hug.
"Then what should I buy you?" His arms raised up over his head as you lifted his shirt off, only to return to gripping you tightly and pulling you into his body as soon as it was off.
"Nothing, you don't need to buy me anything."
"But how will you know how much I love you?" He pouted, and you pecked his lips, the smile you loved forming again as soon as you pulled back.
"You can just tell me, and I'll believe you."
"Okay. I love you. I love you like the waves love the moon, and like the stars love the night sky."
CASSIAN:
"Well, hello, pretty lady." Cassian tried to lean on the doorframe, missing it entirely and stumbling to the side as he almost fell, and you covered your mouth, sitting up a little further to see if he was okay. "I'm all good! Nothin' can hurt me, doll, I'm strong. Wanna' see?"
At that, he pulled up the bottom of his damp shirt, flashing his defined abs and smirking.
"Touch 'em."
"That's alright, Cass." He only shook his head, dropping his shirt and wandering over to you with uneven steps. "Did that hurt?"
"Did what hurt?" He echoed emptily, eyes closing in on your midnight snack sitting on the table in front of you.
"When you just fell through the door, are you okay?"
"I don't know, did it hurt for you?" He rebutted, slumping down onto the couch, half on top of you, with part of your sandwich in hand. He was quick to tear off an excessively large bite.
"When I fell?"
"Yeah." He spoke aorund the food, choking down a half-chewed mouthful before smirking again. "When you fell from Heaven."
"Oh, my Gods, Cassian!"
He only beamed.
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kenlvry · 3 months
Text
jealous
an; someone requested this but idk tumblr wouldn't allow me to edit it in drafts and i accidentally deleted it so here it is im sorry anon🙁🙁. btw this is more scenarios instead of hcs
17-18 stan, kenny, kyle!jealous x gn!reader (uses the term "your girl/mygirl" in kyles)
req : "can you do main 3 who's extremely jealous with reader?"
stan
"who was that?" stan had you pinned to a confined space, in the janitors closet to be more specific. he towers over you his shadow blocking the one light bulb in the closet. "..stan i have to get to class" you avoid eye contact, Stan's jealousy was something everyone was aware about but it was never this serious to the point he'd pull you in a closet.
"so do i, answer me who was that? you seemed to love laughing and giggling at his jokes, looking at him as if your boyfriend wasn't watching" although his head doesnt look down on you, his eyes does, he raises one eyebrow looking down on your figure. "stan it was just.." it was a friend but for some reason you wanted to push his buttons a little.. you know add a little fuel.
"and what if me and him have something? you got a problem with it?" if he wasn't close enough, now he is. he walks towards you in the already small space closing in on the distance between your bodies, "what?" his head now turns down to look at you. although you stutter you try to fight back "y-yeah.. what about it?" despite your cruel words that you have no idea is aching his heart your eyes fail to meet his.
"baby look at me in the eyes and tell me he loves you better than i do" stans voice was low, you've never seen this side of him and to be fair it was kinda hot. your eyes glance at his own pupils and your words seems to not want to come out. "well?" stan crosses his arms, "im waiting" he looks down on you.
you laugh, it was funny but you were lowk getting scared "im just kidding stan! godd youre no fun" you laugh awkwardly and wrap your arms around his neck, tiptoeing. "that wasn't funny y/n i was actually about to cry" he sighs hugging you back.
"im serious though who is he" stan says his mouth inches away from your ear, tou you laugh "its a friend you idiot" "i dont care, no man should make another's girlfriend laugh so beautifully" he pulls back from the hug looking at you "sure next time I'll make him kiss me beautifully" "dude??" he retracts "kidding" you say opening the door walking out of it "im cutting off your lips if you kiss another man" stan says behind you.
kyle
bro this man.. jealousy is skyrocket high. he's not insecure no he's just irritated people can hear his partner's voice when he's supposed to be the only one who can hear your angelic voice.
you laugh echoes the hall, tears falling from how funny kenny was. "you could be a comedian you know?" you say panting from the joyous laugh "yeah i could, but i could also be your boyfriend" your smile fades "as if" he smirks walking close to you "yeah? don't wanna try? i could be better you know, kyle doesn't have to know"
before you could respond you feel a hand on your waist, your head turns to your side to see kyle looking at kenny with the most serious face. kyle was a serious man but this face was so serious it beats everything. "what do i dont have to know kenny?" he raises an eyebrow at his bestfriend "boo youre boring let me have a talk with your for a sec" kenny whines at kyle.
"my girl kenny, not yours" "could be" his grip on your waist tightened. "haha funny joke kenny, you could drop it" you laugh awkwardly "not funny didnt laugh" kyle replies. "nahh its no joke, maybe we could be something y/n" "what the fuck dude i am right here." kyles eyebrow furrow. "and?" "and you're about to watch something you'll never get to do" your eyebrows too furrow when you hear this but you quickly understand it when kyle turns you kissing you infront of kenny. his lips were soft with a taste of strawberry.
your eyes widen but quickly melt in to the kiss "fuck you guys, get a room honest", you open an eye at kenny and realise kyle raised a middle finger at him "fucking weirdos" he says before walking off. kyle pulls from the kiss "y/n i wont hesitate doing that again infront of every guy if you dont stop talking to them" he crosses his arms. "okayyy sorry kyle, next time instead of talking with guys I'll fuck them" "bro i will literally have a quickie with you behind to school rn if you dont stop" his face shows no humour while your grin was wide as ever.
kenny
okay, i like to think he's manipulative 😭 like tell me this dude doesn't turn the tables and makes you the one at fault. the fights you two have over his issues is crazy and you know he's manipulating you, its just you like the power over him. (although i think out of the three stan would be the most manipulative)
kenny looks down on you sitting on the bed. his eyes already glossy "please dont tell me you're cheating on me" his voice in a high pitch. you feel yourself wanting to sigh, this happens every week but you also feel yourself wanting to smirk with how you can easily make him cry. "what are you talking about kenny?"
"tolkien, you were laughing with him and he put his hands on your shoulder!" you sigh "kenny he was loosing balance" "and? as if bebe's shoulder wasn't right beside him!" you sigh again, rubbing your temples. "well? are you cheating on me?" "no! god kenny I'm not cheating on you!" your voice was high and your tone seemed like you were done with his shit.
you don't see it but kenny smirked, he felt himself feel proud. "im sorry kenny.. its just" you trail off "no.. don't worry" you feel as if his voice was off, his usual whined turn to a condescending one but you dont look up at him.
he sits down beside you,his body turning to yours "so.. can you cut Tolkien out of your life?" he says a low whisper "what?" you finally look at him, and something in his eyes tells that he seems.. rather proud. "can't you do that.. would you rather have your boyfriend crying every night thinking about how you an tolkien fuck each other?" "kenny!" you stand up, now youre the one looking down on him. though with his tall figure you barely even looked down
"what? dont act as if you dont want him in your bed every night!" "what are you saying!" "please! go on and kiss him, leave me be here all alone" his voice now high. "fuck fine I'll delete his contact!" you sigh in defeat "and dont talk to him at school" kenny adds "yes okay". kenny smiles, standing up and hugging you "i love you" you hesitate, "love you too"
and although the statement seems like a lie, the warmth of kennys hug melt awat the itching guilt that kenny was right about tolkien. you do want him in your bed every night
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satrs · 11 months
Text
𝘞𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦'𝘴 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘳𝘪𝘯𝘨? Part 2 Part 3
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SYNPOSIS; pranking your bf by taking off your engagement ring!
FEATURING; Barou Shoei. Isagi Yoichi. Reo Mikage.
TAGS; fluff fluff and more fluff. slight angst. mention of marriage. nicknames. crack.
All Characters are 18+.
BAROU SHOEI.
Bad idea. Really bad.
You didn’t even have the chance to really prank him, he noticed it right after you took it off, getting behind your sneaky games. „Worst prank so far.“
You put on an act of confusion, turning around from the sink where you put on your earrings to face the man standing at the door to the bathroom. „What do you mean?“
He raised his brow, unimpressed, stepping closer to him. You gulped at his action, lips threatening to curve up into a defeating smile. But you didn’t want to admit defeat just yet.
„I‘m not going to that event with you if you don’t put it back on.“ 
„Put what on?“ He was visibly growing irritated, his expression almost causing him to burst out in laughter. „The ring.“
„What ring?“ He huffed out a breath at that, face twisting into an annoyed expression. „Now you’re pushing it.“
You were at your limit, laughing in defeat, some sense of relief washing over the man as he saw that you really were just joking.
You opened the cabinet next to the bathroom mirror, took out the ring you hid in there, put it onto your finger.
He strolled behind you, hands placed on your hips as he leaned down to place a kiss on the side of your head. „Looking amazing as usual, my wife.“
You were straddled by his words, correcting him. „Soon-to-be wife. Don’t wish bad luck on us now.“
He chuckled at your answer, spinning you around to place his next kiss onto your lips.
„No bad luck coming for the king, that’s for sure.“
ISAGI YOICHI.
ARGHHH WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS TO HIMM
He noticed it right away when they both of them went out for dinner. His brows knitted in confusion as he saw your finger not being accompanied by the ring he gifted you as you took a sip of your drink.
„Y/N are you mad?“ His concerned tone made you look up at him, placing your glass back onto the table. „No Yoichi. Why would I be?“
He brushed your question off, lips forming a thin line in thought. Did you not like it? Or was it uncomfortable of some sort? Or did you-
„Are you breaking up with me?“ 
You almost choked on your breath at his question, feeling pity for him as you saw his saddened expression. You decided to blow off this ridiculous prank, feeling guilty for possibly ruining the mood of your date with your childish thoughts.
But to your surprise, his eyes lit up at that, chuckling at your antics. „God, that’s a relief.“ Your finances returned his attention back to his food, happily munching on it while flashing you a lovestruck smile.
You let out a small laugh at the sight of his cheeks stuffed full with food, taking out the ring from your pockets before carefully placing it on a little own spot. „I thought you would get mad honestly.“
He returned a comforting smile,“ Of course not. I know how you like to play those pranks. Maybe we should just marry at a playground, fitting your behavior.“
You huffed at that, lightly kicking his knee from under the table, earning a laugh from him. „Not funny.“
He raised his eyebrows at that, leaning over the table closer to his face. „C‘mon. You know I’m the best comedian here. After you, of course.“
REO MIKAGE.
Dramatic ash.
He was quick to notice it when both of you were watching a random show on TV, his fingers stroking yours as he felt the usual metallic and cold ring around your finger not there. He thought he was hallucinating at first, blinking at his naked ring finger.
„Baby?“ His voice was cautious, looking at you with a worried expression on his face. When you questioned him what his deal was, he wordlessly held up your hand. You understood, holding your smirk from creeping up your lips.
„Oh. Just didn’t feel like wearing it today.“ you returned your attention to the TV, on the edge of laughter. His expression was priceless, shocked eyes threatening to fall out of his sockets, mouth hanging wide open. „So you don’t feel like marrying me? Is that it?“ Gosh, you couldn’t hold it any longer, tears prickling your eyes as you broke out in laughter, confusion painting his face.
You turned to him, taking his face in your hands as you gave him a loving kiss, revealing your mischievous plans. He wasn’t amused by this one bit, demanding you to put the ridiculously expensive ring back on your finger. 
You raised your hands in defeat, stretching to reach the shelves under the coffee table, pulling out a box, a ring secured in it.
Reo was quick to snatch the box out of his hand, putting the ring on his finger himself. You chuckled at his small pout. „You shouldn’t do this before the actual marriage, you know.“ he lifted your hand up to his lips, placing a gentle kiss onto each of your knuckles, leaving you flustered.
„Well, then, this is a foretaste.“

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ᵃˡˡ ᶜᵒⁿ���ᵉⁿᵗ ᵇᵉˡᵒⁿᵍˢ ᵗᵒ k-azus.°
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footballlover8 · 8 months
Text
Baby On The Way||Pedri
@Pedri
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Liked by y/n…Paéz_Gavira, pablogavi and 981.999 others
Pedri: We are expecting❤️🥰
Tagged: @y/n…Paéz_Gavira
Tap too view comments…
Pablogavi: ¡No puedo creer que yo también vaya a ser tío!❤️
(I can’t believe I’m going too be an uncle!)
Fcbarcelona:Congratulations!❤️
Mikkykiemmeney: AHHHHH IM SO HAPPY FOR YOU TWO!
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y/n…Paéz_Gavira: Gracias mikky❤️
Aurorapaezg: Hermanita beat me too it🥰
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Pablogavi:same😓
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Aurorapaezg:Mano you’re literally only an hour older😭
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Pablogavi:Shut the fuck up rora🙄
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Belengavira79:you’re both so immature, I’m not surprised my littlest niña is first
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Fan43:HAHAHAH GO BELEN!
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y/n…Paéz_Gavira: Hermano you don’t even want children????
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Pablogavi:Shut up..doesn’t mean that you’re still not before me
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Belengavira79: Pablo martín paéz Gavira! You do not talk to a pregnant woman like that!
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Pablogavi:WHAT!?? But she can talk too me however she wants???
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Belengavira79:As I said she’s pregnant!
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User653:BAHAHABA I LOVE THIS
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User533:All the Gavi girls crying cause they found out he doesn’t want children now😭
Fan00:OMG PEDRI IS GONNA BE A DAD!?????
Fan4:What…?
Fan35:We lost him ladies and gents…😞
Fan8:I can’t believe Pedri is gonna be a daddy!🥰❤️
Frenkiedejong:Congratulations!❤️
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Pedri:Gracias Hermano❤️
Alejandrobalde:I can’t believe it! This is insane! Congratulations❤️
Liked by Pedri & y/n…Paéz_Gavira
Ericgm4: ¡Me alegro mucho por vosotros dos!❤️
(So happy for you two!❤️)
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y/n…Paéz_Gavira: Gracias Eric!🥰
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@y/n…Paéz_Gavira
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Liked by Pablogavi, pedri, Mikkykiemmeney and 642.523 others
y/n…Paéz_Gavira:Littlest Gavira/González coming soon❤️🥰
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Pedri:Mi hermosa princesa😍❤️
y/n…Paéz_Gavira liked this comment❤️
Annalewandowska:My baby is all grown up🥲❤️
Fan6:How do you look so pretty pregnant????
User1:She’s completely stolen him now
Belengavira79: ¡Mi princesita adulta!❤️
(My grown up little princess!❤️)
Liked by y/n…Paéz_Gavira & Pedri
User11:She’s so prettyyyyyyy!😍😍
User31:Pedri is so lucky!😍😭
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Pedri: I am🥰
PedrisssLover:She probably got pregnant on purpose without discussing it because she doesn’t want him too leave her🙄
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User5:How old are you? 5?😬
User:I’ve always imagined Pedri being a dad but I never actually expected it..at least not so soon🥰
Pablogavi:I hope she annoys the shit out of you @pedri ❤️
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Pedri:actually no, only shit talking you Hermano🥰
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User:Stop I love them sm😭😭😭
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@Pedri
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Liked by raphinia, sergioramos, pablogavi and 999.742 others
Pedri:Two beautiful baby boys on the way💙 Mami y papi can’t wait too meet you!
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Pablogavi:Diego in the second photo🤣❤️
Taia_belloli:I can’t believe you’re having twins! I could never!💙
y/n…Paéz_Gavira:you make it seem like I look good during my pregnancy.
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Pedri:You literally do..? You think I can edit…?😭
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y/n…Paéz_Gavira:DON’T TALK BACK TOO ME
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User8:pregnant women>>>> comedians
User9:I wanna marry her
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Pedri:Excuse me...? Im first...and last
taia_belloli:Wifey😍
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Pedri:Mine, so back off. @Raphinia come get your girl before she steals mine
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Raphinia: @taiabeloli Im feeling very betrayed right now babe🥲
Alejandrobalde:Hermanita🥰
Liked by y/n…Paéz_Gavira
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@y/n…Paéz_Gavira
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Liked by taia_belloli, Pedri, Frenkiedejong and 863.825 others
y/n…Paéz_Gavira:Love my two baby boys so, so much ❤️❤️🥰
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Pedri:My three babies🥰
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y/n…Paéz_Gavira: Excuse you..? I’m a grown woman😾
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Pedri:My bad miss baby😲
Pablogavi:Why are my nephews so adorable..?🥹
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y/n…Paéz_Gavira:Because they look like me…😍
User7:Omg they’re finally here!❤️🥰
Frenkiedejong: adorable ❤️🥰
Mikkykiemmeney:So beautiful
Aurorapaezg:My beautiful nephews🥰
Javi_begines:I can’t believe they’re here already 🥰❤️
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@Pedri
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Liked by y/n…Paéz_Gavira, pablogavi, sergiroberto and 1.2 million others
Pedri: Just like their mami y papi❤️💙
Tagged: y/n…Paéz_Gavira
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Pablogavi:Why do they grow up so fast?🥲
User:I remember the day they were born🥰
Rosylopez: Mis guapos nietos🥰❤️❤️
(My handsome grandsons🥰❤️❤️)
Liked by Pedri
User66:Omg imagine them on the first team together when they grown up!!😭❤️
Ericgm3:Future futbolliata’s🥰
Ferrantorres:Miss my little monsters🥹🥰
y/n…Paéz_Gavira:@ericgm3 @ferrantorres Come over you idiots they miss you guys, they are getting tired of Gavi…
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User98:BAHAHAHA STOPPP
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Ericgm3:already on my way…can’t let Gavi bore them out
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Pablogavi: Excuse me…They love me
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y/n…Paéz_Gavira: Did I say that they didn’t love you? No, no I didn’t.
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User62:I just know y/n is so done with his ass
User8:I love how Pedro Jr looks just like y/n and Carlos looks just like Pedri🥹🥰
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y/n…Paéz_Gavira: It’s kinda ironic…should’ve been the opposite
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effeminate-wastrel · 14 days
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Something fucking weird happened to me yesterday. A few fucking weird somethings in fact.
I was at a premiere party for a local comedian's special, maybe like 25-30 people in a little art commune backyard space, kinda place with a bunch of art sculptures and free ranging cats and a fun vibey vibe.
This comedian is one of those kinda 'i'm not a terf i just think maybe trans people could tone it down a little' lesbians who i first met through a trans comic friend (who no longer speaks with this comedian over some apparently terfy views) so i'm kinda already on red alert. But there's a few other trans girls there and generally I don't think this comedian is like hateful or even terfy i think she's just kinda catring to a certain demographic of queer people that aren't as progressive or whatever.
not my particular FAVORITE crowd of people or ideology but I'm interested in hearing and hanging out with reasonable people whose views are different than mine, assuming they are pleasant and not disrespectful, yknow, so i went into the party with an open mind.
i was being a social lil butterfly as i'm wont to do and i met this big burly beardy kinda guy, he seems chill, nice enough. Later in the party after a bit of weed and drinks have been slung, he comes up to me and asks if I can help him get some drugs. He asks if I have any Clomid. I haven't ever heard of it, I look it up and he explains it's a fertility drug for cis or trans women, he described it as an estrogen blocker and i guess it makes ovaries OR testicles more fertile if a trans woman has undergone HRT, I guess.
I'm a little dumbfounded and trying to figure out what the hell is going on, why this random dude is asking me for meds i know nothing about, and i'm desperately trying to figure out the context of this request. I'm making him a little uncomfortable with my questions, trying to figure out if this is a trans man, closeted trans woman, detransitioned trans woman, or i dont even know what, and i ask for a little bit of clarity.
he offers up, "well... i was a boy who got raped and spent some time where i thought i was a woman but now i'm on testosterone again and trying to have a baby" and i'm like... okay detransitioned trans woman i guess, and i'm like yeah sorry i have no idea if i can find anyone who could get these meds for you. I asked him why he was asking me and he said "[comedian's name but ALSO his partner's name, so i don't know which person he's referring to] said you were a safe person to talk to about this. Conversation basically ended there and i walked away from it thinking it was extremely strange, not knowing how to process any of what just happened.
Then later i meet another person who's detransitioned, she was 'being a guy' for a while then kinda ended up not resonating with it and is presenting femme again.
the party just kinda started closing in on me at that point, just started feeling like more people there might be detrans, is this the audience of people, is this the vibe of the party, did the comedian mean something else when i made a joke earlier to her along the lines of "yeah looking bad is so hot right now" (just lightly roasting gen z type style and all that stuff which isn't my vibe obvi) and she said "yeahhh you couldn't be more right" in a kind of way that i could have interpreted as being in reference to ME if she was saying something along the lines of 'you ugly man in a dress' if she IS a closeted terf orrrrrrrr
idk. so much of this is spiraling based on a weird experience and also RSD that goes haywire in situations where my transness has even a 10% chance of being related. but also like. maybe my intuition should be trusted and it really was a bad situation? i just wish i had some neutral way to find out what the hell was going on but it feels so fraught
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navybrat817 · 1 year
Text
Still Get Jealous
Pairing: Rocker!Bucky Barnes x Female Reader Summary: Bucky doesn't get jealous. Or does he? Word Count: Over 1k Warnings: Implied explicit sexual content, possessive behavior, slight jealousy, swearing, talk of exhibitionism, Rocker!Bucky Barnes (he's a warning, okay?). A/N: Fifth day of my Naughty & Nice Nonsense belongs to White Wolf and Luna! Finally wrote something for them. Inspired by this ask here by the wonderful @beach-daydreaming . ❤️ Not beta read and written on my phone, so any and all mistakes are my own. Banner and moodboard by yours truly. Bucky edit by the amazing Nix. Please follow @navybrat817-sideblog for new fics and notifications. Comments, reblogs, feedback are loved and appreciated!
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Bucky isn’t a jealous man. He has no reason to be. Playing sold out shows, rocking out with his friends, and getting paid to have a good time? He's on top of the world.
Best of all, he has you.
If only the pricks around you would take a hint.
It made sense that other guys wanted you. The way you carried yourself with confidence and dressed like you were made for sin, you got attention everywhere you went. Just because he slid an arm around your waist and pulled you to his side when some guy hit on you didn’t mean he was possessive. If he dug his fingers in a little or pressed a kiss to your neck, it was a subtle way to make the asshole back off.
It was not because he was jealous.
“Marking your territory?” you always asked once they took a hint.
"If I wanted to do that, I'd put you on your knees and fuck you right here."
He never had to touch you to know that got you wet. The whole crew caught you two going at it more than once and you got off on it every time. His beautiful Luna had an exhibition streak as long as his. You loved showing everyone who you belonged to.
So was he possessive or jealous if he knew you were his?
"Will you ever make good on that promise?” you teased.
Bucky considered it after the latest show.
Downing a shot, he glared at Graham across the bar. He had no issues with the Nonsense Nation guitarist most days. The guy was quiet and usually kept to himself. He hardly ever cracked a smile.
So why was he huddled close to you and laughing?
And why were you laughing with him?
Since when is Graham a fucking comedian?
“Stop glaring,” Steve asked, trying to get Bucky’s attention.
“Why is she shoving her tits in his face?” he demanded to know.
You trying to get my attention, Luna? You fucking got it.
Steve handed another shot over, which he quickly downed. “She’s not putting her tits anywhere. You know she doesn’t want him.”
Bucky knew you weren’t into Graham, but he still questioned why you were leaning in closer. The bar wasn’t that loud. There was no reason to press up against him like that. You were practically in his lap at that point.
“Fuck this,” he muttered as he licked his lips and slammed the glass down on the counter.
“Fuck it,” Steve agreed, nodding over to you. “Go get your girl.”
My girl.
His best friend gave him shit about the two of you in the beginning because he refused to put a label on things. You were a good fuck. The best pussy he ever had. There was no reason to mess that up by calling you his girlfriend.
Somewhere along the way, it became more. You didn’t fuck any other guys and he didn’t pick up any other groupies. He liked talking to you when he wasn’t balls deep inside you. He loved making you laugh.
Which is probably why he wanted to punch Graham’s fucking face in.
You didn’t turn around as he came up behind you, but he heard your gasp when he pulled you back against his chest.
“What’s so funny, baby?” he whispered against your ear.
“Hey, Buck,” you said sweetly, pushing your hips back in a gentle grind. “Oh, nothing. Graham and I were talking about you, believe it or not.”
“Is that right?” Bucky asked, keeping his eyes on Graham as he tilted your head and moved his lips down to your jaw.
“We were,” the guitarist confirmed, taking a sip of his drink and seemingly not bothered at all by the display as he checked his phone. “I owe Jefferson a drink.”
“The fuck does that have to do with me?” he asked, grinding against you in return so you could feel him getting hard.
Wonder if I could get away with fucking you on the bar.
“Luns wondered how long it would take for you to come over and say something if I flirted with her. I thought it would take five minutes,” Graham said as he slid off his barstool. “Jefferson said two minutes.”
Should’ve fucking known you were playing games.
You let out a hum of pleasure when he slid his hand under the front of your top. “Then find the fucking Mad Hatter and get him a drink. Now,” he grumbled.
“Maybe I want him to stay,” you said in a sing-song voice before Bucky cupped your breast and squeezed. “Fine. Thanks for the laugh, Graham.”
“You two behave,” he smirked a little before he walked off.
“No promises,” you said even though the two of you were alone. Well, as alone as you could be in a bar. “Two minutes. I’m impressed, White Wolf.”
“You trying to make me jealous, Luna? Bad fucking girl,” he said, his thumb brushing along your nipple. "Should punish you for that."
"Is it a punishment if we both enjoy it?" you moaned, the globes of your ass pushing even harder against him. “You don’t need to be jealous, but I like it."
“Not jealous,” he mumbled as he buried his face in your neck. "Is he funnier than me?"
If he sounded vulnerable, you didn't call him out on it.
"No, he isn't," you answered, making him breathe a little easier. "And don't you dare ask if I think he'd fuck me better."
"No one can fuck you better than I can," he said, his confidence back in full swing. "But I think you need a reminder that you’re mine.”
You gasped when he pinched your nipple. “As much as I want you to fuck me on the bar, and you will do that one day, I think the bathroom stall will do just fine.”
He may have given Jefferson and Graham the finger when you dragged him away. He also may have admitted later while you slept that he was jealous. Only because you were the best fucking thing to ever happen to him and you could have anyone you wanted.
But you chose him.
And who would the White Wolf be without his Luna?
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You gotta love him. Love and thanks for reading! 💙
Masterlist ⚓ Bucky Barnes Masterlist ⚓ KoFi
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