Visit Blog

Explore Tumblr blogs with no restrictions, modern design and the best experience.

Fun Fact

Tumblr has over 100 million blogs, and only 167 employees.

Trending Blogs
#my love
image

Why do I feel pathetic? Pathetic for caring, but why should I feel pathetic for loving someone, loving them more than myself. Is it the fact that they don’t know how to show emotions or that they are scared to show me who they truly are. It seems as if everyone is so scared to be “real” or just themselves as the “fucking fear” sets in and we just don’t. For fuck sake I do it! I get attached, I love way too fucking hard, I get consumed, I crave, I fantasize, I cry over them, I get depressed when they aren’t near but I won’t fully admit it nor show it. Except for here…..

In fear of losing someone, our game face goes on, we show the “opponent” what we think they want, to get what we want. Fuck that, but I can’t say fuck that, but how can I be real, how can I be honest with someone in fear of losing them because if I lose them, I lose the part of me, who I am with them is what makes me happy, at times it’s the only time I am happy….but I want to be “real”.

But how can I be real as I live in fear that they wouldn’t love me, nor no one would. How can we just reach a level of understanding that we allow our selves to spill our fucking guts and worst truths that have ever came or gone, ones we still live today, and expect someone to love us. Honestly, for once, the honesty that would be heard in my ears would not push me further away, it would bring me closer, closer as I would feel as if something isn’t fucking fabricated, a made up lie to make me or them feel better, the truth would allow me to feel as if I deserve, or myself speak the fucking words because they deserve it….but is anyone worth it, am I worth it…… why don’t I do what I am asking for…

If I speak my truth, will they judge me, will my words haunt me as they get used as ammo, firing power to intentionally hurt me, or vise versa, why would they tell me “everything” if it can be used against “us”. I promise not to bash people, with their own words, or truths, as many of the things that we all believe to be truths is not, its us hearing the bullshit expectations of people who themselves know nothing nor hold themselves accountable and the reason they are “ok” is because they wrap themselves up in everyone else to beat them down because they can’t self reflect……but have they mastered something, are they happier than “us”.

I need “real” but I need to be real.

How can two people, take the real, digest it, without asking more questions without revealing more heartache and anger, without being judged, without sharing outside of us, how would they understand, it’s easier to play the game than it is to real……but I want to be real, I need someone at this point of my life that can keep things just between us because I am able to be that way, I can keep dark secrets, dark secrets that I don’t show, things my mind has blocked out, things I won’t share that in fear, would be exposed because in this world we don’t even trust ourselves so how could we trust someone else…….


I’ve shared secrets, secrets of others that I wish I was “real” enough back then to hold true to my words and never speak again. I now know the consequences, to a certain point with sharing, but haven’t we all, is that why this is just all a fucking game.

This fucking game that has been created, creates all the fucking depression, depression is the fact that we feel alone, no one has us, no one will catch us if we fall, while I fall none stop I can’t catch myself and when I hit the ground the people around me fucking clueless nor should I impose my depression on them because wouldn’t that just make them depressed….. I want to be caught, not judged but to be loved because that’s how I feel for the first time in my life that I can love you and your honesty but you wont give it to me…… where do we start to be “real”?

As I type these words they come out as if I am screaming them, theres so much anger behind them, some clarity yet fog because what I ask of you is something I don’t do because I am scared, scared to lose something that I have already lost once. I don’t need to walk around with a fake ass smile because that’s how we all need to be because life is fucked, people are fucking sick, the things done to us makes us do bad things to ourselves, to our emotions because that’s the fucking norm…….. I hate fucking ordinary, I want fucking real.



I just want fucking real love and to be real loved for once….. its starts with me. I’m not perfect, nor do I want to be, but how do I tell them it’s ok, it’s ok to be broken because I am.. it’s ok to share the real you because I want to do the same….


Written in anger, random tears, complete fucking random thoughts that I don’t know how to express nor write, shit I don’t understand but I want to…..


The only thing I truly fucking know right now is who I love and that I have never loved a women as I love you

Can we both just be “real”….. like really in love that no one else in the entire universe understands us. You are the closes to real I have even been or felt and I need to be real, forever, no giving up..

0 notes · See All

متل الغريب ولحالي

عايش ليالي الهوى

حبيبي جاوب سؤالي

قولك رح نرجع سوا


متل الغريب ولحالي

عايش ليالي الهوى

حبيبي جاوب سؤالي

قولك رح نرجع سوا


حبّك عذاب يا ما تحمّلتو

تحمّلت غياب قلبك ونطرتو

شو لِ قسّاك ما بتسأل عنّي


يعني معقول ما تردّ عليّي

وعنّي مشغول ما تفكّر فيّي

حبيبي قول دخلك طمنّي


متل الغريب ولحالي

عايش ليالي الهوى

حبيبي جاوب سؤالي

قولك رح نرجع سوا


حبّك عذاب يا ما تحمّلتو

تحمّلت غياب قلبك ونطرتو

شو لِ قسّاك ما بتسأل عنّي


يعني معقول ما تردّ عليّي

وعنّي مشغول ما تفكّر فيّي

حبيبي قول دخلك طمنّي


قلبي ما بدّو حياتو

ولا بدّو عمرو بلاك

ليلي طويلي سعاتو

وإنت حارمني هواك

0 notes · See All

— Ты моё сияющее солнце, а я стану луной. Я стану луной, которую ты называешь прекрасной, не приближаясь и не отдаляясь, всегда глядящей на тебя.

diseasedimagination-me
0 notes · See All
Next Page