#my mans looks terrifying and i love it

[techmomma]

I am increasingly certain after 34 years of life that if you are afraid of something, if you want to get better, then you have to face it. Maybe you face it in little pieces. Maybe you face it with help or holding someone's hand, preferably in a safe environment but not everyone has that luxury. But exposure and being around what scares you is the only way to make it better.

Afraid of the ocean? Go touch the ocean.

Afraid of crowds? Go be around crowds for a time.

Afraid of being alone? Gonna have to be alone for a time.

Afraid of death? Talk about death, maybe go to a cemetary.

Afraid of becoming your parents? Gonna have to face the idea that you ARE probably like them to an extent, in order to NOT be like them.

Afraid of people not liking you? Gonna have to be not liked, sometimes.

Afraid of those thoughts saying you're a bad person. Gonna have to go talk to those thoughts.

Because humans are funny, paradoxical creatures, and almost always, the answer to being afraid of something is embracing it.

The more we embrace the thing we're scared of, the less control it has over us.

But, sometimes, people are also afraid of getting better. The decision to embrace our fears is not one that everyone takes.

Because sometimes, the fear of what is involved in getting better is greater than the original fear itself. It turns into a self-eating ouroboros.

Brought to you by me remembering me avoiding doing scary things and that made them worse and the only thing that makes them better is doing the scary things, even when scared.

#also brought to you by every time I've done something that seemed kinda insane or terrifying and people were like WHY STEPH #'I did it because I was scared of it.' #'what' #'to teach my brain that my imagination is always scarier than the reality' #I don't do scary shit because I'm not scared #I do it because I AM scared #I don't go talking to strangers because I love talking to strangers #I do it because I'm afraid of strangers. but I don't want to be. #I am so scared all of the time man #no matter how goofy or silly I look to other people or how quickly I volunteer for shit #that is more than 15 years of trying to face face my fears #15 years of fucking practice #and if never ends

[rainbowpufflez]

Thinking about possibly “redesigning” Lysandre’s bugs in my style

#I’m not big on the term redesign but ig that’s what I mean #like I would say it’s more close to headcanon I suppose?? #listen I just want to make them a little more Doc Ock like #my 2nd grade love for Doc Ock always shows #idk why it’s specifically in evil redheads tho #looking at you Moira’s concept art #I just think he deserves to crawl up buildings using them #I know they can blast Mega Evolution lasers #but it’s always bugged me (ha) that they really aren’t that functional #the flying in the anime with them is cool ig #but may I pose u the thought that a 6’5 man crawling up a building with Doc Ock like appendages is terrifying #they’d still be able to blast things too #this is what I mean by not really a redesign cause I want their bug like appearance still #just like I want them longer and a little sturdier #rainbowpufflez rambles

[theimpossiblescheme]

Say what you will about the Cyrano movie (and one day I'll be able to in a halfway articulate manner), but I am still mildly obsessed with "Every Letter", and I think about this ending couplet all the time...

Your letters are drawings on me from above I know who you are and I know you are loved

Just... the idea of Cyrano and Christian receiving a letter in return from Roxanne and feeling their breath catch both with ecstasy and with bitter regret.

I know who you are...

But she can't. But she mustn't. But it would break her heart--she would never trust them again. But it wouldn't be fair to Christian. But Cyrano could never show his face again. But they already feel themselves burn under her gaze, and to meet it honestly without the armor of a soldier, of these letters, would scorch them until nothing remains. But the only true honor is to hide, even if they know it's really the coward's way out. But the only safety (if they were being brutally honest with themselves) is to hide.

... and I know you are loved.

But God, they wish they didn't have to.

#It's four thirty in the morning and I have been slam-dunked back into Cyrano Hell... #Listen okay ever since the movie introduced the idea of *Roxanne actually writing back* I have been even less normal about these idiots. #The imagery is so fucking delicious either way because you get to imagine either the two of them sitting close enough together #that they can both read either together or over the other's shoulder and just... occupying that space together the two nearly becoming one #and I get to lose my mind over the proximity and the warmth between them forged in the fire of their love for Roxanne. #OR *or or*... the two of them taking turns reading and just *watching* the other's face as they read trying to glean from their expressions #what she might have said and the intensity of that study becoming its own terrible intimacy that right now they can only show through proxy #and I *also* get to lose my mind over Cyrano watching Christian and musing that even if his partner might look like a marble statue #he's never seen a marble statue make that face before but he's *definitely* seen it from Roxanne and it's just as coronary-inducing on both #and Christian watching Cyrano and musing that this might be the closest he'll ever come to seeing the pride of the cadets #and the mythic figure he's built around himself completely *shatter* if only for a moment... he's *human* and he's *exquisite.* #CANNOT be normal about it... it's 'So--here's my heart under your velvet now'-- #it's 'I've loved but one (man) in my life and now I must lose him twice'-- #it's the darkness of the balcony and the endless sunshine metaphors regarding Roxanne herself-- #it's the goddamn Mortifying Ordeal of Being Known and how much Roxanne *craves* it from two men terrified to submit to it... #God these three make me sick I love them so much. #cyrano de bergerac

[8rujaa]

to anyone dealing with ptsd, has there been anything that has helped relieve some of the symptoms?

#im emotionally stuck due to the constant reliving of what happened #i get these weirdly intense flashbacks where i can remember the how the fabric of the couch looked like up close #and how they felt. and how everything looked. the way the colored lights hit the room a certain way #i think i did myself a disservice by thinking i was soooo in love that i didn’t want to forget any details lmao #now i can remember everything like a photograph and sometimes i find myself back in my old apartment and the fear floods my chest #and i can’t breathe and my stomach starts turning it’s terrible. i really felt like i was in hell #i stopped smoking ouid 3 weeks ago bc whenever these flashbacks would happen the high would make them HD and it would send me into a loop #but now i think weed was the thing keeping me above water… it’s been a rough 3 weeks. but before i start smoking again #i wanted to ask if anyone found something else that made it a little easier #it’s been months since our break up and i really want to move on. i’ve tried to meet other people but i’m terrified of men #and i find myself unable to connect with anyone… #i’ve been physically better which i am so grateful for because being unhealthy was my biggest reason i was so depressed #i’ve been doing therapy but i talk about the same thing with her every week. i’m tired of it #i think i’m still in disbelief that they did that to me. i never thought they’d be capable of hurting someone so badly. #i can’t get over the fact that he r***** me for months while i was disabled and pretended not to know what he was doing was bad #i realized he knew when he tried to make it look like i was crazy. that made me really sad. i think i was hoping he was clueless so #i could still believe he was a good person… or at least the man i fell in love with. i was willing to forgive him once he apologized… #when he tried to make it seem like i was going insane the blindfold came off and i saw him for who he really was #like no wonder i was so scared of u dude… no wonder i kept having panic attacks anytime we were together and i couldn’t sleep next to u #i’ve been afraid to admit that shit broke me as a person. i don’t think i’ll ever be the same. i can’t function. #plus knowing i stayed for her bc i was worried for her and didn’t want her to experience the same thing without someone there bc i realized #how good he was at gaslighting and lying. only to find out she was waiting for an excuse to get rid of me… she wanted me gone… #i went thru all that for nothing… #and i still don’t understand why each time i tried to leave for my own good- to get medical help and support they begged me to stay!!! why #brain vomit

[ace-avian]

Can we talk about the fact that laurence committed genocide/practically a war crime, believed himself to be a monster because of said genocide, but everytime someone who understood was like “yo if you don’t do this thing it’s gonna get worse” he’s like “lol nah I don’t need it fuck you”

Like- the fuck my guy?

#aphblr #aphmau #minecraft diaries #mcd #aphmau minecraft diaries #look I love laurence as much as the next person kinda but- mmm #he’s not my favourite #I’m lighting my own fires with this #laurence mcd #aphmau laurence #man I’m gonna either get crucified or asked to elaborate #either way I’m terrified for this outcome

[lazaruspiss]

girl help hes not wearing protection!!!

#pyg is so #like hes genuinely one of THE most scary villains imo #goofy yes! but absolutely terrifying #he shows up in arkham knight and despite how easy the fight is he is still just so damn scary #like his profile and tapes..... eugh #i love it but i think i should like. mentally prepare for reading d&d's batman and robin run bc he scares me so bad #nightmare fuel man #makes my blood run cold just thinking about him #is it the body horror? the implications of abuse/rape/necrophilia? oh his fluff text and easter eggs in ak are so graphic #i think i might be a little in love with him #he makes me wanna peel my skin off hes so creepy #fictional characters who remind me just how intense a fawn response i have at times #i looked at his surviving victims for a while after beating his ak fight. just thinking. #my horror guy ever #he'd tear me apart and i worry i'd like it #hoo boy. gotta start remembering to brace myself whenever i think i might start thinking about him for too long.

[toxooz]

Hi Toxooz, how do you get yourself to draw so frequently? 👀👀👀

bc i have literally 84 things going on at once in my brain at all times that my highly visually obsessed brain Has To physically get in front of my eyes so that i can see or else will i think abt it over and over again and Brother I'm always envisioning things characters scenes scenarios outfits designs colors all of it in my cranium like angry itchy itchy ITCHY bees until i draw them out lmfao even if i don't know what to specifically draw at the current moment imma still end up drawing somehow ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ I think at this point it's literally hardwired into my brain that I Gotta draw its what I've been doing since I could hold a pencil tbh it's how i cope with being -gestures vaguely- Here and alive, i actually gotta force myself to take a day off and schedule days where I DONT draw bc I know it's wearing on my hands and wrists 😬 I guess physically drawing grounds me in a way and keeps me (mostly) sane like if I don't draw for a few days i start getting Vaguely Antsy it's fukkin weird and i think at this point my love for my characters has surpassed like any form of art block if that makes sense??? like they literally take up 92% of my brain if not more, and the only way to see them is to draw them but yeah it's just what i do it's my jelly n my jam which is why I'm literally so glad i realized that i don't want to make drawing a job/career bc God help me if i start dreading drawing bc of the stress of money I've been drawing like crazy for like 2 decades straight and I only wanna draw more man idk!!!!! It's just one of them 'how the brain formed around what you do an assload of times' thangs

Answer translation: idk I just like to draw a lot lmfao

#its like the kids say ✨💅its how i express myself✨💅 #and dont get it twisted im aware this is not healthy lmfao #dont aspire to b like me just draw or dont draw man its abt the want #like i said drawing is just What I Do at this point i didnt train theres not some ''oh draw for at least 30 minutes a day' shit #i draw fast as shit (probably obviously ) and so much its probably unnatural AHA #the secret is make drawing the only outlet for your brain to not completely self implode at the mere idea of existing #for 24 years!!!!! :) #honestly thats why im getting progressively more Tired when every mf and their grandma tries to convince me to sell my shits #like brother this is a part of me how can i give away something i created and inevitably formed a bond with for like 100 bucks #i caint do it and so if i go in with the expectation to imediately give it away then man i dont even want to be making art in the first pl #like for me Personally if im not going to make something that i fall in love with and want to look at occasionally then #Literally what is the point of me making anything #what is the point of me making my body and mind create a piece if not for my own personal joy??? #but thats just physical art ig #like digital stuff and selling it for money if some1 wants it im aight but physical paintings??? that shit is Me and Mine #like just bc i Can make art doesnt immediately mean i need to make money from it yknow #my brother in christ when it comes to the the only true outlet for me to find joy and inspiration in living i Do Not care about money #i will take any amount of shitty job abuse if it means i conserve my passion #ill get a scarring accident from welding before i will stress cry over a deadline for a project that i dont even want to do #absolutely terrified of that path and feeling it is The Worst for me #like literally thank FUCK i realized this when i was just in a community college and not balls deep in debt at some fancy university #granted late as all hell and all my opportunities of taking free welding classes in my early years have long passed but still glad #just stick me on an abandoned island with canvases n paint n shit and ill b fine #god knew if i managed my time better and wasnt Really Fucking Exhausted all the time i would be unstoppable #like ofc making money while drawing what i want is the dream no doubt but the chances of that are slim and the road to get there is even #slimmer #ANYWAY holy shit not to get hella preachy but i have Thots

[heinzezsquirt]

ty for the tag @octobergrae !

here's 9 of my favorite movies in no particular order. ♥

this took way longer than it needed to lmfao

tagging: @quinnick @kittykat940 @sunflowersand-butterflies @tntozier @ronanticize-a-quiet-life @thebrokengate and whoever else wants to ♥

#this looks so unserious but i love these movies #please this list is ridiculous #i'm crying #yes shrek the third is my favorite shrek #no im not taking any suggestions #tag #tag game #favorite movies #it chapter one #shrek the third #scream #scooby doo #sonic 2 #evil dead 2 #spider man into the spider verse #a night at the roxbury #terrifier

[everysongineverykey]

shoutout to brian may for constantly coming through with all the Inexpressibly Fucking Melancholy songs we could ever need. long away '39 all dead all dead some day one day leaving home ain't easy... hell even his demos. listen to you know you belong to me and water and tell me you don't feel like ben affleck on bench with cigarette dot png. every band needs one member who is just so sad All the time and Will make it the entire discography's problem and i am so serious

#queen band #sure freddie roger and john have their share of dramatic sad songs too #but brian's oeuvres just really hit the existentially terrified child inside me #the one who's constantly sitting on a beach at night looking up at the stars. good shit #take heart my friend we love you though it seems like you're alone a million lights above you smile down upon your home. #in the year of 39 came a ship in from the blue the volunteers came home that day #and they bring good news of a world so newly born though their hearts so heavily weigh. #don't you hear my call though you're many years away don't you hear me calling you. #all dead all dead but i should not grieve in time it comes to everyone #all dead all dead but in hope i breathe of course i don't believe you're dead and gone all dead and gone. #i'm all through with ties i'm all tired of tears i'm a happy man don't it look that way? #when i was you and you were me and we were very young together took us nearly there the rest may not be sung #so still the cloud it hangs over us and we're alone but some day one day we'll come home. #leaving home ain't easy but may be the only way. #i have to stop and think sometimes let the water roll a while let the days go by under my feet.... #you know. lyrics like that. i go fucking INSANE.

[bunnyb34r]

I know I should just block (and not OPEN) tags and posts ab '24 but my brain is stupid and likes to be informed even if it makes me worse

#marquilla #im not even joking when i say this next election makes me wanna kms so bad. im fucking terrified and i feel like we already know what's #gonna happen. not bc people arent voting or organizing i mean bc of how far the right has gotten and how angry they are that a #dem won so theyre gonna show up in droves and it's like god i wish we could idk have some safegaurds in place??? like oh idk you #incite an insurrection you Can't run for president?? but also that wouldnt fully stop shit bc florida has its own neo nazi running and #theres more behind him in the wings. but like idk man i just get so fucking suicidal thinking ab the future #and my drs. are like well then dont look at the news??? 'i sure dont' mkay thats great (not) but um i CAN'T not watch bc i need to #be informed i need to know. and they're like well then stop worrying ab it til election day?? LIKE THAT HELPS #so i just dont bring it up. and i just spiral and have breakdowns in the shower and think ab making a will and shit yknow normal stuff #bc this is fine! just dont engage! stop worrying it's like a year away! it MIGHT get better! idk Join in your community then?? #like yes yes thats a start but with what fucking energy when im bedbound most of the time im not working and that doesnt stop these fascist #s like me helping the community garden would be good for the community and probably my mental health in general BUT that doesnt deal with #the actual fear that makes me wanna Kermit #like it really fucking feels like all i can do is pray and hope god somehow intervenes (rapture anyone?) and that things do go well and #that the outright outspoken nzis don't win but like I really just wanna die man #i know the outcome more than likely will not directly affect my life bc im white. cis passing. and can go back in the closet regretfully #but like that doesnt reassure me any bc i have friends and loved ones and generally just give a shit ab other people and how this WILL #affect them directly and that terrifies me. it really feels like we cant ever have a moment to just exist yknow?? #idk man i just wanna die bc im so scared haha how fun (: how normal (: this is fine. everything is fine.

[casekt]

#these are funny to me #go Danny go!!!! #manhunt 2 #esp the roof execution. this guy is 44 and he's jumping off rooves to kill people with crowbars #my favorite execution though is the hasty glass shard one. when he or leo fuckin jump onto mfs backs monkey style #that'd be a terrifying death. you're just standing there #and suddenly a grown man who's like 6'4 jumps on you and starts stabbing you in the stomach #uploads #I love the official screenshots #I'm at least assuming danny is about that height since Leo's canon height is 6'4½ and they look about the same in comparison to each other #but like.... they're also not both there physically soooo #also danny being tall and having his shit posture bc he's timid n such tracks

[stevethehairington]

finished the terror show! and i gotta say — probably not a surprise but — i liked the book better. tbh i don't think the show was long enough. like the book was SO long and despite the slow moving pace it had SO much packed into it, and i think because the show was only 10 episodes it ended up having to smush a bunch of things together and skip out of others and that totally took away from it. don't get me wrong, it's a decent show! but i think it had the potential to be even better if they'd gotten to like, take the time to faithfully adapt the book.

also there was not enough tuunbaq!!!

#the monster scenes were some of the best in the book!!! and they SEVERLY underused that big dude in the show!!! #like removing him completely from the carnivale scene? Bad Choice!! #also i was absolutely not a fan of what they did with lady silence in the show #i feel like the changes they made to her character and the plotlines surrounding her character were HUGE changes that like. #fundamentally changed a significant chunk of the rest of the plot — to the shows detriment imo #ALSO for the love of god!!!!! bring back practical effects!!!!!!! #the creature would have looked SO much cooler if it was mostly practical effects and maybe a little cgi to help #what it ended up looking like was a WEIRD (neg) uncanny valley those-animals-with-human-faces-from-barbie-movies thing that LOOKED so fake #it was laughable really #it looked like a giant polar bear with a human face and it did NOT work #they had the chance to make that thing look TERRIFYING and they didnt and that is SO disappointing and SO upsetting!!! #OH also i feel like they made hickey WAAAAAY more pathetic in the show lmfao #like he was pathetic in the book too! but oh my god he was like a thousand times more wet rat pathetic in the show #and i think they couldve done better with his power trip like they couldve done MORE with it #(i will say tho. they picked an EXCELLENT actor for that role fhsjdid adam nagaitis has a LOVELY face to look at gjdkdk) #((and so does tobias menzies. somethin about that man in that hat was just 👌👌🥴😩)) #N E WAYS #i liked the show but i could have liked it even more if it had been closer to the book #the terror #mack watches the terror

[girlbossblackbeard]

just found out the heartbreaking news that djenks is apparently STRAIGHT???? and not a married gay man in his 40s writing a love story about two gay pirate men in their 40s????? honestly in a state of shock right now, gonna have to really reevaluate some things both looking back and moving forward. i thank you all in advance for your patience as I work through this journey of acceptance ❤️

#all jokes aside I'm actually genuinely surprised HOWEVER #it *would* explain why I'm so scared of him #........also now I'm 70% more terrified of what's to come in s2 #bc this whole time I was under the impression that we were getting a queer love story created by a queer man #so I had a lot of trust that it was in the hands of someone who would deliver on a non-tragic queer story since theyre part of the community #and I'm guessing at least one of the writers is queer since ik they have a diverse writing team but it's just A Lot to adjust to! #djenks hasn't given me reason not to trust him but my hackles are raised a bit now from being burned too much in the past #I am looking DIRECTLY AT YOU s*pernatural

[fragmentedblade]

I haven't looked forwards to a character as much as I've looked forwards to Sunday. I hope he won't disappoint

#He seems potentially so my type and I love the angelic aesthetic #He seems so shady and I love that. Robin does too and I adore that too but I'm afraid of expecting too much haha #Hanabi and Black Swan are interesting in a lore kind of way but I don't like their design at all tbh #Kinda getting tired of the female characters having all the very same look. They are not even from the Xianzhou so there's no excuse #Hanabi is like a mix of Guinaifen and Tingyun come on. And I find the design of Black Swan so boring with the potential her lore had #Skirk kind of situation #Ruan Mei and Dr. Ratio have managed to interest me a lot for what I've seen in leaks #but I hadn't been waiting for them to appear as I've been looking forwards to Sunday #Other than Sunday the character I'm most looking forward to is Firefly. I don't know #I've been digging the dynamic with Blade ever since I first saw leaks about Sam‚even when I thought them seeking death and life respectively #was due to each their different ways of not being fully human with Blade being immortal due to a mistake and Sam being a robot #But now he's an immortal old man seeking death and she's a little dying girl with time against her looking for life‚ #both in a way the consequence of an experiment‚ and I find that potential interesting too #Besides I find so endearing and so funny that terrifying imposing Stellaron Hunter Blade is in a group with two young girls #that bully him a bit‚ make fun of him and take his phone. Extremely into how Silver Wolf is protective of him too #In general his dynamic with the Stellaron Hunters is very nice and sweet and intriguing for what I've seen #Abfkabfn I always end up talking about Blade. What I meant is that! I'm really looking forwards to Sunday #He seems extremely Jack-coded in some ways. A bit like Jing Yuan but in some senses More and I love that sort of character #I talk too much

[jokerislandgirl32]

The Shining: Wild Kratts Style

“Here’s Zachy!!!!”

I am so sorry y’all. It’s getting close to spooky season, what can I say?

#wild kratts #the shining 1980 #zach varmitech #wild kratts zach #aviva corcovado #koki wild kratts #jimmy z #love zach varmitech #i mean seriously this scene is pretty freaking terrifying #i love zach #but the man looks demented #so this movie scene kind of fits #in my opinion at least