#my memory is so shaky because it was terrifying to see the body but I think the skull was fractured

[cowgurrrl]

Eat Your Young

Pairing: Joel Miller x fem!reader (platonic!Ellie Williams x reader)

Author’s note: I’m sorry (gif by @pedrohub)

Summary: “Thoe I walk through the valley in the shadow of death I fear no evil for I am the meanest motherfucker in the valley.” [4.1k!!!]

Warnings: episode 8 spoilers!! David (this is a warning in itself), Ellie in peril, canonical violence, bargaining, reader being a badass because I said so, a slight allusion to sa, PTSD symptoms, physical trauma, angst with a happy (slightly ambiguous) ending

Your body aches when you come to. Your face pulses with bruises, and you can feel broken ribs pushing against your lungs. Memories spark under your throbbing skull— waking up to the sound of the garage opening, Ellie yelling for help, the men, the horse going down. She should've woken you up earlier. She never should've tried to face them by herself. Your eyes blink open, and a hideous red carpet stares back at you. Rope ties your hands and ankles to the chair you're sitting on, and you look around for Ellie. 

An empty room has never been as scary as it is right now. Your heartbeat quickens against sore ribs, and your breathing rattles loudly. Did they take you both? If so, where is she, and why isn't she with you? Did they find Joel? You think about how weak he was when you left, how he could barely hold his own knife, and how delirious he was. Your teeth grind together as you try to shrink back tears at the thought of him dying alone in that stupid basement. Your thoughts are interrupted by a door opening, and you look up enough to see the familiar man walking through the door. 

David pauses by the swinging door once he sees you're awake. His eyes rake over your injuries with an alarming lack of care, and you shift in the chair. Your shoulders scream in pain, and you wince, but Ellie stays at the forefront of your mind. 

"Where is she?" You ask. David grabs a chair from one of the tables and sets it in front of you. He's close enough that you can smell sweat and grime on him. You straighten up, making yourself as big as possible, as he sits across from you and stares at you intently. 

"I was starting to worry about you," he says, and you let out a shaky breath. "How are you feeling?"

"Where the fuck is she?"

"She's alive. That's all you need to know right now."

"Let me see her."

"I'm afraid you're not in the position to be demanding things," he says as he rubs his hands together. You glance at the door he came through and make a mental note. She has to be through there. She would be able to hear you if you called for her. Does she know how close you are? "Are you her mother?" 

"Fuck you."

"You're feisty just like she is. If you're not her mother, you must be the closest thing to it," he says. You try not to let his words settle over your bones. No mother would fail her child the way you've failed her, the way you're actively failing her. "She wouldn't tell me anything about the man, but she asked if you were okay. She cares a lot about you two."

"Is he here?" You hate how small you sound when you ask about him. David smirks, and your skin crawls.

"Not yet, no. We're looking for him now," he says. "My people are dead set on vengeance. It's a good thing I went out with them this morning. Otherwise, you'd both be dead."

"Lucky us." 

"I know you didn't kill Alec, and I'm sorry you've traveled with such an angry man for so long. Once we find him, we'll bring him to justice, and you'll be free," he says like he's offering you a one-way ticket to Heaven. "We have room within our group. You and your daughter could live here safely. Start a new life." 

"So, you want someone to pay for the loss of life? Is that it? You kidnapped me and a fucking kid to settle a score?" 

"In a sense." He sighs. You bite the inside of your cheek as you think about Ellie. She has to be fucking terrified right now— alone, hungry, and maybe hurt. She's strong, though. She could find Joel and move him to a safer location. You've seen her hold her own before, and you trust her as much as you trust Joel. She doesn't need you, but she needs Joel.

"If you let her go, I'll settle your score. Whatever you need to end this shit. I'll call him off, and they'll leave and never come back." You decide. David sits back in his chair as he considers your offer, your sacrifice. 

"You really think a man like him would just leave you here?"

"He'd do anything I asked him to," you say. "Just let her go. This isn't her fight, and I think you know that." 

"Why do you care so much about him? He's a murderer."

"So am I. I've done really shitty things to stay alive, things I can never tell her about. I'm not a good person."

"But he is?"

"He's trying to be," you say, catching sight of the Bible sitting on a nearby table. You let yourself soften just enough. "Isn't that what you're all about? Salvation and redemption and sacrificing yourself for the greater good? That girl is his chance at redemption, maybe his last one. They need each other way more than they need me."

"You love him." It's not a question. It's a statement like pointing at the clouds gathering on the horizon and announcing there will be a storm— obvious and beyond a shadow of a doubt. 

"Let them go. Please." You breathe. David sits silently, tapping his fingers together, before standing and wordlessly walking through the door he came in from. A tear falls from your eye, but you quickly wipe it on your shirt sleeve. You listen for voices as the building creaks against the force of the blizzard outside before twisting your wrists against the rope. The burn makes you grit your teeth, but the slow loosening is enough for you to continue. 

You don't have a plan for getting out of here alive, only a plan for distracting David long enough for Ellie to escape and find Joel. They can take care of each other. They'll finish what we started. They'll be okay. You repeat it like a gospel, like a blind truth that you have to follow because you can't afford to think differently. You hope she understands that this is the last thing you want. That if you could've kept her safe forever, you would've. That abandoning her and Joel was never in the cards. You hope she knows that you love her. 

Ellie shouts from the other room, but you can't make out her words. The silence that follows makes you sick to your stomach. You would take her nonstop talking over this eerie stillness. Your fingers search for a weak spot in the ropes as blood drips down your hands. 

"Hey!" A gruff voice rings out from the other side of the room, and you freeze. One of David's men walks over to stand in front of you, a heavy semi-automatic weapon in his hands. When you look down the barrel, a gold bullet stares back at you, but you can't look away.

"Did you find him?" You ask. Something uncertain flickers behind his eyes, and that's enough of an answer. There's a chance, however minuscule, that he's alive and out there and trying to find both of you. A dull and dangerous ball of hope forms between your broken ribs. "We can end this here. If you just let us go, we can put this all behind us."

"And if I don't? You'll what? Kill us just like you killed Alec?" 

"Oh, no. You'd be lucky to die as fast as he did," you say. "After what you did to her, you really think I'd just let you die that easily? I'll rip all your fucking teeth out of your skull and feed them to you before I even think about putting a bullet in your head." Terror flashes across his face, but Ellie's screams keep it growing. The man in front of you turns toward the sound, giving you a window to slip your hands from the loose ropes and grab at his gun. You push it up and away from him, a stray bullet singing through the air and hitting the ceiling. He shoves you back, and the chair breaks as you hit the ground so hard that you see stars.

David rushes in from the other room, blood splattering his clothes— her blood. He looks pissed as he assesses the situation, holding his hand tightly. "I offer you a home here, and this is what you do," Your molars buzz as molten rage rolls off you. David lunges at you, grabbing your face with one hand and holding up the other so you can see his broken finger. You try to squirm away from him, but his grip is tight enough for your jaw to creak with the threat of it shattering. "Look what she fucking did to me! You think you're going to get any sympathy now?" His breath is hot on your face as he shouts, but Ellie's blood is the only thing you care about. You spit in his eyes and wrestle out of his grasp, reaching for a piece of splintered wood. A warning shot fires by your ear before you can lift it, and splitting, ringing pain slices through your brain.

Your heart beats in your face as you try to army crawl further away, shaking your head hard like it will release the muffled pain. A swift kick to your ribs knocks you down, and you roll onto your back, pressing on the broken rib as you try to breathe. David and David's Bitch (you honestly don't care to learn his name, and that title is more fitting anyway) stare down at you with their guns in your direction. David tsks as he steps forward to stand over you, too close for your comfort. You move to put space between you, but he kicks you again. You gasp and bite your tongue hard enough to taste blood.

"I can't wait for your guy to show up so he can see just how pathetic you actually are." He threatens and you laugh, spitting blood.

"Trust me, he's the least of your fucking problems right now." You say, planting your hands behind you to push yourself off the floor. The butt of a pistol cracks across your skull before you can get far.

"No!" Ellie's voice jolts you awake. Your vision is blurry, and the throbbing pain in your body makes you nauseous, but none of that matters as much as she does. Her screams are the stuff of nightmares, helpless and scared out of her fucking mind. You push off the floor, forcing yourself to walk toward the sound until your foot stops moving. You look down to find a rope tied around your right foot, connecting you to one of the pillars in the middle of the room. 

"Fuck, fuck, fuck." You say as you bend down to try pulling it off of you. There's no time. She needs you now. Tears form in your eyes as the rope burns the skin around your ankle, drawing blood. You look around for a knife, glass, anything to help you cut it but find nothing. She's stopped screaming, but that doesn't do anything to stop you from trying to get to her. The blood dripping into your socks makes the rope slippery and stains your hands when you finally get it off. You stand so fast that you get a headrush but don't stop until Ellie's body collides with yours. She's covered in blood and almost screams until she realizes who you are.

"I... I thought. I heard..." She says, clutching your shirt in between her hands. You shake your head as you grab her and run to the doors. They barely budge as you try to push them open, and Ellie grabs your hand, running into the kitchen. She's shaking, and her hair is a mess as she looks around for something to fight with. 

"Ellie, we need to go. We can't stay here." You say as she grabs a smoldering log.

"Cover me." She says, barely looking at you before rushing back out to hide near the door. You grab a knife and duck under a nearby table as David walks in with a bloody cleaver. You grip the knife closer, hoping to slash his Achilles tendon as he walks by when Ellie pops up and throws the log at David's head. The curtain behind him catches fire as you try to track her movements. She stays low and quiet, just like Joel taught her, and you have half a mind to be proud of her for listening.

"There's no way out," David calls as the fire travels up the curtain to the ceiling. He's pacing calmly away from you as the building starts to go up in flames around us. "All the doors are locked, and I have the keys. Nobody is coming to save you, Ellie." You move to the kitchen once his back is turned to you, hoping to find a bottle or bigger knife to distract him. Ellie meets your eyes across the room, and you nod at her, a silent reassurance that you will not let anything happen to her. You find a half-full bottle of wine and quickly dump it down the drain as David rambles about something. You stay low as you look out the kitchen window and throw the bottle to the other side of the room, the last bits of alcohol making the flames grow bigger. You duck when David turns toward the sound and walk back to the swinging door, waiting for the right moment to come out. 

A piece of ceiling falls in front of the door, and flames lick under it, just as you hear Ellie stab David. You turn to jump through the kitchen window when one of David's guys enters the room and locks eyes with you. You've got to be fucking kidding me. You swing the knife at him, slicing his arm as he brings his gun up to shoot. The long shotgun pushes at your chest and sends you backward as blood pours from his arm. You hit the edge of the counter hard but stay up and swinging. The man grunts right in your face, and the fire is tearing the building apart, but all you hear is Ellie. She's screaming louder than you've ever heard, and she's calling for you, for help. You swing the knife once more and hit something squishy that gives. The man sobs in pain, and you dig the knife further into his eye until he stops twitching. 

Once he hits the ground, you jump through the kitchen window and dive onto the floor below, fire burning your arms as you do. You grip the knife closer to you and stand until you see the full sight of Ellie and David. She's on top of him and hitting him over and over and over again with his cleaver. Blood splatters across her face and clothes as David becomes less of a body and more of a stain. You don't try to stop her. You just drop your knife and slowly walk into her line of sight with your hands up. By the time she stops raising her arms to hack the body, she's crying and breathing hard enough for you to hear her over the flames. 

"Ellie," you call, and she jumps like she forgot you were there. The look in her eyes now is so different from the one she gave you earlier when you tried to tell her nothing terrible would happen. It's familiar and heart breaking. She's shaking when you reach for her and pull her off of David. "We need to go, okay? We gotta get out of here." You wrap your arms around her and shield her eyes as you walk past the bodies she left in her wake. 

The snow is a welcome relief from the smothering smoke and fire when you leave the building. Ellie stays tucked under your arm, letting you take her weight as you move toward the blue water, away from David and whatever god failed you. Her shoulders fall slack until a pair of arms wrap around us, and she screams again. Your grip on her tightens as she cries and kicks at whoever is trying to grab you. She nearly falls to her knees as the arms spin her around, taking her away from you.

"Hey, look," Joel's voice is soft as he holds her face. You let him take her and take a step back, trying to process that he's alive. "It's me. It's me. It's okay."

"He tried to..." Ellie mumbles, and you have to turn away from them, vomit burning in your throat. You swallow hard as tears fall down your face and do your best to hold your sobs. "He tried to" is a sentence you've heard too many times but never from someone as young as Ellie. He tried to, and you were right there. He tried to, and you couldn't do anything. He tried to, and she was screaming for you. If David weren't already dead and burning, you'd go back and rip his fucking spine out. He tried to.

Joel saying your name makes you turn to see Ellie wrapped in his jacket, a faraway look in her eyes. You take her backpack from him and go to his other side to snake your arm around his back. He's shaking either from fear or pain. You don't know that it matters. Together, you work to get somewhere safe, helping to carry the weight of the past three months silently.

You found an empty house a few miles away from the resort and let Joel clean Ellie up in the bathroom. She clung to him the whole way here, trembling bloody hands wrapped around his middle. The cut on her nose is gnarly, and she has slices on her fingers from gripping the knife she used to kill David. Other than that, she's more mentally scarred than anything. As soon as she was clean and fed with twenty-year-old Spaghetti-O's, she fell asleep on Joel's chest, her bandaged hand resting over his heart as they lay on the floor together. The words you said to David while begging for their lives surround you. They need each other way more than they need me.

You feel like shit now that the adrenaline has died down. There are burns on your forearms, cuts on your hands, bruises swelling your face, and you're pretty sure the hearing in your left ear is permanently fucked. Your head pounds and your ribs twinge in pain when you breathe too deeply, but it's nothing compared to the screams echoing in your mind. They'll probably embed in your brain and repeat themselves for the rest of your life. You've never heard her scream like that— deep in her chest and desperate, like she was praying for someone to hear her and help, to kill the men who put their hands on her and then some. 

He tried to.

Joel calls your name softly, but you can't turn to face him. Your eyes stay on the front door, the cool metal of your gun warming under your palm. "You should sleep," Joel murmurs as he puts a comforting hand on your back. He's careful not to jostle Ellie as he rubs circles into your skin. You shake your head as your fingers twitch against the gun.

"I was asleep when she," your voice catches in your throat, and you wipe at your eyes. "I didn't even hear her leave. I can't…."

"She's safe, and she's alive. That's the most important thing."

"I was so fucking scared, Joel. I could hear her screaming, and I couldn't do anything to help her," you sniffle as he tugs at your shirt, making you turn to look at him. His eyes are watery and sad, but he doesn't stop you. "The fucking apocalypse happened, and the scariest thing in the world is still a man who thinks he can take whatever he wants."

"I know, baby."

"I can still hear his voice. I-” He pulls you closer and gently takes the gun out of your hands. Slowly, he makes you lie beside him until you relax and use his bicep as a pillow. You're close enough to count the cuts on Ellie's sleeping face, and you almost wiggle away. Joel feels it and quickly kisses your forehead, his grip on you tightening enough to make you stay.

"Let me lay with my girls," he whispers before you can protest. "Please." You sigh and curl into him, wrapping your arm around his stomach, so your fingers can graze Ellie's arm. He traces patterns into your back as you count Ellie's breaths. Every rise and fall of her chest soothes your anxiety just a little more. Her nose scrunches in her sleep, and she mumbles something as her grip on Joel gets tighter. He shushes her and kisses her forehead, whispering, "we're right here, baby girl," into her temple. Then, probably without even realizing it, she moves her hand until it covers yours, her little fingers squeezing you like she's trying to decide if you're real. You take her hand in yours and squeeze back. 

It’s moments like these that make you wonder how you could've gone so long without her. It's moments like these that make you wonder how you could ever go back to the life you had before. It's moments like these that give you a glimpse, a torturous peek, into what could've been. If you had met Joel earlier and had been faster and less guarded, maybe your paths may have crossed sooner. Maybe all those people you loved who died would still be alive somewhere. Maybe nothing would've changed at all. 

"I'm so scared of losing her," You tell him, your eyes still stuck to Ellie's face. Joel takes a deep breath and nods. "When did she stop being cargo?"

"She was never just cargo."

"What are we gonna do?" 

"We're gonna get her to the Fireflies. They'll do whatever they need, and then, I don't know. We could take her back to Jackson and get her settled. Let her have an actual childhood." He says. A regular, ordinary life with them sounds idyllic, something reserved for people way better than you are. 

"What if something bad happens with the Fireflies?" 

"Then, we do whatever it takes to keep her alive. Either way, we're gonna finish this."

"Whatever it takes." You echo. 

"You should sleep," he says. Your body agrees with him even if you're hesitant. "I'll take the first watch. I've probably had enough sleep to last me, at least, a couple of hours." You stare at him to make sure he's okay to stay up before nodding. You squeeze Ellie's hand again and smoosh your cheek against Joel's shoulder, perfectly wrapped up in both of them. Joel goes back to rubbing your back to lull you to sleep, and all you can hear is their breathing and the birds singing to each other outside. Fireflies, ruthless FEDRA officers, Infected, and religious cults are far enough for you to trust that everything is okay. 

"Joel," you say quietly. He hums, and you push yourself up on your elbow to look down at him. "I love you. I don't think I ever told you that, but I want you to know." 

"You never had to. I always knew," he says, his eyes sparkling in the moonlight. "I love you, too." You want to say more. You want to say, "I'm sorry it took me so long to admit it. I'm sorry if it's too late. I'm sorry for falling in love with you in this world that makes love a weakness," but you don't. You lean down and kiss him like you've done hundreds of times and try not to think about what will happen tomorrow.

The only thing you care about is the two people you're curled up within an old, mildewy basement in the middle of fucking Colorado because they are your world now. And nothing will take your world away ever again.

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#the last of us #ellie williams #joel and ellie #joel miller x reader #the last of us x reader #joel miller #joel miller fic #joel miller the last of us #joel tlou #ellie the last of us #tlou part 1 #tlou fic #tlou angst #joel miller angst #ellie williams angst

[speedycoffeedelight]

An Animalistic Disaster

Summery:Angel and Cherri reacts to their song and you realize a embarrassing truth

Ch-11: A Brutal Acceptance

Masterlist

'I.... don't know...' Angel answered. He was scared. He didn't like how you looked at him and asked him the question.

'Charlie.. could you tell her to show me the video first? I..I want to see what's in there'

He knew the song 'Addict' from somewhere in his mind. He knew the lyrics somehow, like he sang it before. But he needed to know what would be shown in this video. Which he did not know. But from the lyrics alone he could feel it's something really personal to him.

Charlie looked at him worringly and translated it for you. You nodded in understanding. 'Cherri.. could ya come with me? It might be best if we see it together ' Angel said with a quivering voice. Cherri looked at him sadly and nodded her head. She too could remember singing it but not the scenarios.

You held out your palm in front of Angel where he climbed on. And Cherri climbed on your shoulder. "I'm really sorry guys, but it's something Angel needs to see for himself first. I'll show you guys later" you said as you went to the other room besides yours.

'Soo..tell me, Charlie and Vaggie..just exactly how you turned into this?' Alastor asked as soon as you left. 'You clearly don't expect me to believe so easily that it happened all of a sudden like that girl did'

"We told you, nothing happened. We were just talking about random stuffs and we suddenly turned into this, that's all" Vaggie scoffed looking at Alastor. Alastor tilted his head looking at them.

'Is that so....'

You sat down on the lounge of the other room as Cherri and Angel climbed down from your body. You opened up your phone this time as you left the laptop in your room. Finding the video on YouTube you turned to the pair.

"Angel, Cherri, are you guys ready?"

Angel gulped as he saw the warning sign on the paused video but they nodded their head. You put the phone in front of them as you played the song.

'Till death do us part...'

'But we're already past that phase...'

Angel's face scrunched up seeing Valentino's face. Even in cartoon, his face looked as terrifying as in real life . Actually it's because it's in cartoon, that his hideous smirks and menacing smiles were all the more clear.

'I'm addicted...to this madness...'

'This hotel is..my Atlantis...'

Angel's eyes shot wide open seeing him on the video crying and Cherri comforting him. 'T-they got this part of me here....?' he whispered in a broken voice. 'Shh, it's okay Angie..' Cherri attempted to cheer him up by placing one of her small arms on his back.

'Just concede and give into your inner demons again '

'Hey, at least we look badass here right? Look!' Cherri pointed at them dancing trying to distract him from his thoughts. She hoped there weren't more of those moments. But that was quickly broken.

Angel let out a shaky breath seeing the scene of Valentino forcefully kissing him and then his breakdown right after. A silent tear fell from his eye unbeknownst to him as the memories of that day came flooding back in his mind.

You gave Angel a sad look as you tried to pat him gently on his head. But you quickly took back your hand seeing him flinch a little. "I'm sorry Angel... I'm really really sorry.." you said looking down.

Cherri patted Angel on his back. He didn't flinch this time as more tears fell. He didn't mean to flinch in front of you. He knew you were just trying to help. But he didn't know you quite well yet and couldn't help it.

'Your money and power'

'my sinfull delight'

'A hit of that heaven and hell'

'One helluva high'

'Thank you Cherri. For doing all of these for me' Angel said with a broken voice as he watched Cherri blow up Valentino's studio. 'Anything for my best bud' Cherri said with a fake cheerful voice. She was pretty shaken seeing that...guy pop up during her song. But she swatted it down.

'Just concede and give into your inner demons again '

'Ohhh,look at you go Angel! You look hot as fuck here' Cherri said as another part of them dancing together came on. 'You too toots..' Angel said he tried to collect himself. 'We fuckin rock ' Cherri smiled at him. He tried to give her a small smile back.

'And I fucking blew that place to bits! Serves em right!' Cherri cheered as the song came to its end music. 'Yeah!' Angel said with bit more energy this time. Relived that it was finally ending.

"There's a bit left guys.." you said with a small voice as they turned to the screen again. 'Oh no..what else..' Angel thought worringly.

'Lookin awesome... feeling helpless'

Angel tried to hug himself seeing that scene. But the only thing he managed was to lower his head more between all his legs and cower.

'And I know I'm raising Cain by every highway in hell'

'Maybe things won't be so terrible inside this hotel'

"And that was the end guys.." you said softly looking at the pair. You picked up your phone as you looked down at them with sad eyes. "Angel....are..are you doing okay..?"

It sucked that you couldn't talk with either of them to know what they're feeling now. You wanted, no, needed to know that Angel was alright. "Tap on my hand if either of you are ready to head back to the other room"

Cherri looked at you and nodded. 'I..I can't show this to them... they'll use me just like Val..' Angel choked out.

"Angel, I don't know how well you're doing and I don't think it's that good....but I just want you to know, I'm here for you. Thousands of people on the internet are here for you too. As long as you're with me, I won't let that fucker touch you even if it costs my life" you said with determination in your voice.

Angel looked up at you teary eyed. 'It's gonna be okay Angie. We're all here for you okay?' Angel nodded. 'I really need a drink right now...' He said as he calmed down a little and wiped his tears. He prepared his fake self again to show the others.'You can tap on her hand now Cherri... I'll handle it somehow...I know I can't run away from this..'

"Angel if you want we can show them the video tomorrow. You can use tonight to collect yourself if you'd like" you said as softly as you could.

"I get why you wouldn't want to show them, but this song is out on the internet. They can see it whenever they like once they're human again. It's better if you explain things to them first by yourself. And I'm sure everyone will support you here"

You weren't trying to be insensitive  to him. But you knew he had to show them eventually, it was inevitable. Since they are in you world, if they wanted, they could watch it anytime they want. It's better if Angel was prepared for this beforehand.

Angel gave you a sad smile and nodded. He really needed some more time to think through about these stuffs. Cherri tapped on your hand as they both climbed on top of your body again.

"Tomorrow it is then. We'll show them tomorrow" you said as you headed towards your room again. Charlie immediately rushed towards you as all of them looked at you guys with worry except Alastor.

"How did it go? I-is everything alright?" Charlie asked the last part looking at Angel. You looked down at Angel as he took a shallow breath.

'You guys can see that video tomorrow, not today. That music video... shows things very personal and sensitive to me that If I had my way, I would never let that see the light of day...' Angel said as he looked away.

'But (Y/n) was right. You guys would see it sooner or later since it's on the internet already. And god knows if something's on the internet, it'll be there forever no matter how much you try to hide it..' Angel said sighing.

"It's alright Angel, we understand. We'll wait till you feel comfortable right guys?" She looked at the others in the room.

'Now could you please ask the girl about the flirting thingy with our voice...actors? Or whatever that was?'  Alastor chipped in.

"Oh yes that part. Hey (Y/n) could you tell us about our voice actor thing? The one you were playing of us flirting and stuffs?"

"Oh that was the Hunicast! It's a podcast thingy your VA's did. But it won't happen again since your va's have been replaced in the new season" you replied happily talking about the videos. But then suddenly a realization hit you like a bullet.

'Wait a minute...flirting.......me playing the video...' you thought quickly as you remembered just how you acted during those.

"Please don't tell me you were watching me during those times..." You meekly said.

"Yes we were.." Vaggie replied looking confused at your sudden change of mood."We were still with you as animals remember?"

"Fuuuuuckkk"

You sank to your knees, holding your now burning face with embarrassment. If they were here that means they saw you simping for them. God they knew just how much of a fangirl you were.

"Please let me dig a hole and die! I don't want to live with this embarrassment any more!!" You squeaked out.

"Why? What's wrong?" Charlie asked concernly as she crouched down with you.

'I think I might have an idea of what's going on' Angel said said with a real smile tracing his lips this time. 'Our little host here is embarrassed for being seen acting like a little fangirl in front of her crush's!'

Alastor grin widened in amusement as he watched you squeak on the ground. "There there, I don't think it was that bad..." Charlie attempted to console you.

"Yes it was!" You looked up at Charlie from your hands. "Ahhhhh, please kill me..." You groaned in your hands.

"It's truly fine dear. I don't think any of us thought any negatively about you" Vaggie looked at you softly from the bed.

Alastor snickered and looked away making Vaggie glare draggers at him.

"Whatever... it's past recovering at this point.." you slowly got up, still refusing to look at them at the eye, especially Alastor.

"It's getting late, let's have dinner and go to sleep for now. We can talk more tomorrow" you wanted to change the topic quickly and pray everyone forgets about this as soon as possible.

"Let us help you out this time! You can just relax, me and Vaggie will take care of everything!"

"But-"

"No buts, you took care of us all these time! It's only fair we repay you" Charlie said as she marched to the kitchen holding Vaggie's hand with enthusiasm.

Charlie, Vaggie and you shared a delicious meal later as the other animals got their respective food.

"Now time to sleep" you announced tiredly. As you walked into your room you realised an important thing.

You only had one bed in the cabin. Nervously laughing, you looked back at the human duo behind you.

"You two can take the bed, I'll go rest on the lounge in the other room"

You didn't have any spare mattresses lying around. Cause you never thought you needed one in the first place. But that might have to change from now.

"Oh no no, we wouldn't want to overstep, maybe we can take the -"

"Nah it's fine, the two of you need a bed more then me. I'll be fine by myself on the lounge " you reassured Charlie as you went to that room.

You ignored Alastor staring at your form as you polpped into the soft cushion, ready to call it a day.

Exhaustion and weariness of today's events soon caught up to you as you drifted into a deep sleep.

Husk and Niffty joined you soon. Husk kept his distance as Niffty cuddled up to you. You smiled in your sleep as you held her close.

*Some time ago*

Jake lowered the dead rabbit's body from today's hunt to the cutting board. He missed a big catch today, but meeting you was been quite a reward to forget about that easily. A small grin plastered his face as he begins to skin the rabbit for his dinner.

The head of the rabbit looked up at him with wide open eyes as he begun to prepare the meat. It reminded him when you both met today.

This rabbit was a mother rabbit, ready to protect it's kids when he found them. Just as you were ready to defend your 'Friends' as you called them, while looking at him with those big eyes of yours fearfully.

His knife sliced through the meat easily as blood splattered around it.

A.N: I really had to put my thinking cap on for this chapter on how tackle this. Since this is a sensitive subject, I tried to be as careful as possible with my reasonings.

Hopefully the chapter lived up to your expectations :')

#hazbin hotel #alastor #alastor x reader #charlie x reader #vaggie x reader #husk x reader #angel dust x reader #sir pentious x reader #cherri bomb x reader #hazbin hotel x reader #charlotte magne #Vaggie #Niffty #husk #angel dust #charlie #human charlie #human vaggie

[teshamerkel]

Pokemon Mystery Dungeon: Seekers of Soul

[Chapter 46]

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AO3 Link

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Tobias and Nia say their goodbyes to Fort Asra. Following Rosalind's info, they discover some unexpected answers in the desert.

-

Tobias wakes somewhere soft. Once he blinks his eyes open against late afternoon light, he realizes he’s back at Granite and Takeo’s place, in the room he and Nia have been boarding in. Dust motes float through sunlight against a wooden ceiling.

The quiet creak of the door and soft footsteps—familiar footsteps—make Tobias raise his head.

Nia startles at the movement, then hurries over with a smile. “Hey! How’re you feeling?”

Tobias tries sitting up, then groans when that makes his body ache and his head twinge with pain. His thigh is wrapped up tight in gauze, and it itches against his scales.

Nia motions for him to lie down. “Take it easy. You got pretty roughed up.”

No kidding. Tobias rubs at his eyes. “What happened?”

“Well…what do you remember?”

Tobias grudgingly allows himself to sink back into the pile of cushions. “I remember…Calder, jumping in to fight Eddy. And Grant and Takeo. They found us?”

Nia nods, smile twisting with wry humor, “Apparently Takeo didn’t trust us to stay out of trouble. He tagged us with his silk and tracked us across the desert once he realized we snuck out. Granite grabbed Calder along the way.”

Tobias isn’t sure if he should feel angry about that or not. The townsmon did save them from a second fight with the dewott that Tobias isn’t sure they would’ve won.

“What about Eddy and the Steelix?”

“Safely in custody!” Nia chirps, looking proud. “Calder and Lara kept them subdued until some psychics from the guild could come out to grab them.”

Tobias nods as he stares up at the ceiling, something in his memory nudging at him. Something important. He vaguely remembers Nia and Samir leading him out of the cave and up the ladder. The three of them hobbling past the downed steelix (and Tobias has questions about how that happened). Then Eddy attacking them back on the surface.

But before all that, he remembers a terrifying wave of earth bearing down on him, slamming into him and burying him alive. Blackness. Then, a slow return to awareness, soft fur holding him close. Nia’s voice, shaky but relieved. A tight, borderline-painful hug.

Tobias pauses. “Did you…dig me out from that rock slide? How did you find me in all that?”

Nia winces. She looks guilty. “I, um…we couldn’t find you at first, and I was scared you were suffocating. So I found your aura.”

Tobias’ head snaps up as something in his chest stutters. “You looked at my aura?”

He must sound sharper than he means to, because Nia frowns with her ears pinned back in the way she does when she feels defensive. “I thought you might be dying!”

The sudden fear that had bubbled up in Tobias’ chest melts abruptly into shame.

“Right,” he mutters. It still sounds loud in the quiet. “I…I know you did what you had to do.” He grimaces as he peers up at her, almost not wanting to ask. “So…what’d you see?”

Nia blinks. “Oh. Um. Not much, really. I was trying not to dig too deep and I was a bit, uh…distracted. Your soul is red?”

“Red? What does that mean?”

Nia quirks a smile and shrugs. “I’d have to actually focus and look again to tell you. All I know is that you’re a deep red. Almost maroon! I could tell it was you right away. It just…felt like you.”

For some reason, Tobias feels his face heat up at that. He looks away, claws kneading into the cushion in his lap. He supposes he’s glad Nia didn’t find any terrible truths from a fleeting glimpse of his soul, even if he still feels strangely exposed that she looked at all.

There’s a moment of silence where Nia busies herself with fluffing the cushions around Tobias. He can tell she has something to say. She keeps taking a deep breath and opening her mouth, hesitating before closing it again.

“Look,” Nia finally says. “I know you just woke up, but I’m afraid I’ll lose my nerve and we need to talk about this. About…how you get, when info about Team Zenith is involved.”

Oh. Tobias’ stomach sinks as he sits up again, ignoring the exhaustion in his body. “What about it?”

Nia gives him a tired look. “You know what I mean, Tobias.”

“I’m not going to stop looking for them.”

“I’m not asking you to!” Nia groans. She takes a deep breath, rubbing at her face.

"Then what are you asking?”

“I’m not saying we need to stop looking for them,” Nia starts. “I know that you won’t stop, no matter what. But we need to start being more careful about how we tackle these missions.”

Tobias knows that by “we,” she means he has to start being more careful. He’s the one who basically forced her and Samir down into the mines because he was desperate to finish the mission as soon as possible.

He vaguely remembers her hugging him and crying into his scarf, and feels a stab of guilt. Still, he can’t seem to apologize. The words lodge in his throat like a rock. Because he knows he would do it again.

Tobias stares down at his hands and mutters, “You didn’t have to come with me.”

Nia makes an offended noise. “I wasn’t going to let you march off alone to get killed!”

“It would be my fault if I died, not yours.”

Nia throws her hands up. “It doesn’t matter whose fault it would be, it would matter that you died!”

“Would it?” Tobias scoffs.

Nia stops mid-rant, looking stunned. Then, her expression slowly melts into something almost…hurt.

“Yes,” Nia whispers. “It would.”

To Tobias’ surprise, he believes her. Nia gets attached to Pokemon stupidly quick. It makes sense that she’s managed to get attached to him, despite his prickly attitude. They do spend pretty much every day together. Still, Nia could just join Andyn’s team or something if got himself killed. She’d be fine, after a bit.

There’s a heavy moment of silence. Tobias can feel Nia’s eyes on him, so he stubbornly looks out the window, where he sees the side of another building and a glimpse of bright afternoon sunlight.

Finally, Nia sighs. “We just…we can’t keep going like this, Tobias. The seviper in Ghatha, the steelix down in the mines. Rosalind is giving us dangerous missions.”

“I know that,” Tobias says. “What are you recommending we do about it?”

Nia’s mouth flattens into a frown. “I…don’t know. But Samir and I both thought it was too dangerous, and we turned out to be right. We almost died down there because of that.”

Tobias winces, feeling guilt drop heavy onto his shoulders. He wasn’t the only one he put in danger by charging into the mines. Nia and Samir easily could’ve been killed by that steelix. That possibility does scare him. It’s just…so hard for him to think of that, when he feels that desperate itch to follow a lead.

“Can you just…listen, when we try to get you to slow down?” Nia asks. “Be a little more careful?”

Tobias mulls that over. Her request is reasonable enough. She's not asking him to avoid dangerous situations entirely, after all, just to approach them with a bit more caution.

“Fine,” he says, eventually. “I’ll try to listen if you tell me to slow down.”

Nia doesn’t seem relieved by that. Instead, she tilts her head with a little furrow to her brow. Like she’s trying to get through to him, even though he’s already agreed.

“What?” He asks. “I said I'd be more careful.”

“No, I know. I’m glad. It’s just…it feels like you’re agreeing to get me off your back, not because you think it’s the best course of action.”

“What's the difference? Look, I’ll slow down a bit when you get freaked out, okay? And I’ll make sure I don’t drag you or anyone else down with me.”

Nia’s frown grows deeper. “What about you?”

“What about me?"

Nia opens her mouth to reply, then closes it again. “You…want to get revenge, right? On Team Zenith. For taking your family away.”

“Yeah. And?”

Nia bites her lip, but holds his gaze. She looks nervous, but determined. He hates that expression on her because it usually means she’s about to do something stupid.

Finally, she says, “You can’t take revenge for your family if you’re dead. If…If you rush us into a situation and get killed for it, that revenge will never happen, right?”

Tobias blinks back at her, surprised by the riolu’s unusual bluntness. He…hadn’t really thought of it like that before, as obvious as the line of thought is. He’d always sort of figured he’d throw himself at any information and hope for the best. If he died, he died. But…it would all be for nothing then. And if that's the case, it would be worth approaching leads more cautiously not just because Nia asked him to, but because his end goal has a better chance of coming to fruition, right?

Nia continues before he can respond. “Plus, think about what it’d do to Maggie if you were killed. Or the shinx kids. And if I didn’t somehow go down with you I’d be—“

Nia cuts herself off, blinking bright ruby eyes. Her lip quivers. “W-Well. I already thought that yesterday and you saw me then. I’d be devastated if something happened to you.”

Devastated. Somehow, that seems like such an…intense word to apply to him. Tobias doesn’t know if he’s quite worth feeling “devastated” over.

“You’d get over it,” Tobias scoffs.

That makes Nia upset. He sees the blue of her aura flash through her eyes. “You’re not over your family.”

Tobias flinches back as if she’d slapped him. “Of course I’m not! But that’s different!“

“How?”

“Because they were my family!” Tobias hisses.

“Maggie’s your family too! What would she do if she lost you?”

That trips Tobias up. Maggie is his family, and he is hers. But—

“It’s not the same!”

“Why?!”

“Because I should’ve been strong enough to protect my family! And I need to be strong enough now to make Team Zenith pay for what they did. If I go and get myself killed by being an idiot, there’s no one to blame but me. Certainly not Maggie or the kids.“

“None of us would see it that way,” Nia says, voice soft. "You don’t seem to value your own life much, but other people do.”

Something sharp tangles and knots in Tobias’ chest. “Well they shouldn't! I didn't ask them to!"

“I don’t think you get to decide how much other people care about you.”

And Tobias has nothing to say to that. She’s right.

“I don’t want to talk about this anymore,” Tobias huffs, looking away. “I’m sorry, all right? For putting you and Samir in danger. I won’t do it again.”

At least that’s one truth that’s easy to tell. He’ll just face it himself next time, if it comes to that. He has to stop dragging Nia down with him.

A heavy silence falls over the room. Tobias wonders if Takeo or Granite heard them arguing. He doesn’t hear either ‘mon moving around the small building, and Granite is very easy to notice with his heavy steps.

Finally, Nia sighs. It’s a defeated sound, but Tobias has a feeling she isn’t done, even if they don’t revisit this today.

Tobias accepts the uneasy truce, closing his eyes and resting his head back against the cushions. Both because he’s growing tired again and because he needs something to do in the awkward silence. Nia reaches over and picks up the book she’d come through the door holding.

For a while, the riolu reads while he rests his eyes and avoids conversation. He tries to track how far she gets by the flutter of pages turning, but loses track after twenty. He idly wonders what she’s reading about. He doesn’t think she brought a book along when they left the guild. Did she borrow one from Granite and Takeo’s shop?

Tobias’ mind wanders then to the itchy bandage circling the cut on his thigh. And then to the fight down in the mines. Eddy wasn’t too difficult to take down, once it was three-on-one. But the steelix…the giant’s face flashes through his mind, jaws strong enough to kill with a single bite.

Tobias cracks open an eye, cataloguing his partner’s lack of injury. The last thing he remembers before waking up from that rock slide, Samir had been knocked out and Nia had been left alone with the steelix. While he's grateful for it, Tobias can't figure out how she escaped so unscathed.

“So you took down the steelix, right?” Tobias asks, unable to completely stop the disbelief in his voice. “How..?”

Nia looks up from her book, taking a moment to enter the present and register his words. “Oh! You remember those blast seeds we got from that last client?”

Tobias frowns. “Oh. Yeah. I'd almost forgotten about them.”

Nia huffs a little laugh. “I did forget about them. The only reason I remembered at all was because of Giratina.”

There’s a pregnant pause. Tobias stares at Nia, trying to process what she just said.

“Giratina?”

Nia blinks back at him. Then, she bops a paw to her forehead. “Oh! Right! I knew I was forgetting something important! He kind of, uh…showed up down in the mines? In the reflections?”

Tobias sits up, alarm swooping through his gut. “What?!”

“But he helped us!” Nia hurries to say.

“Wh—Nia, he’s—“

“I know, I know! I didn’t trust him at first either.” Nia holds out her paws in a calming gesture. Tobias glares back at her but holds his tongue. This better be good.

“But..?”

“But he helped me hide myself when the steelix passed by. I probably would’ve been crushed otherwise. And he lead me to Samir, and then both of us to you.”

Okay, there’s…a lot to unpack there. Giratina supposedly helped them? For some reason? And Nia likely would have died down in the mines if not for the legendary, which is. Great. Tobias’ subconscious will love that nightmare fuel.

Nia must see the skepticism on his face, because she breathes a laugh. “I know. It sounds crazy. But Samir can vouch for me. I guess Giratina could be pulling some kind of long con, but I don’t think any of us would’ve made it out of there without him.”

Tobias wrestles quietly with that information. He’s heard whispers here and there about Giratina all his life, and literally not a single one was flattering. Add that to the fact that Giratina has been stalking his partner and tried to forcibly yank her into the distortion world, and he’s having a hard time believing that the banished legendary might actually have decent motivations.

On the other hand, Will told them not to trust Giratina, and Tobias hates that guy. So.

“So…what? We just trust him now?” Tobias asks.

To his relief, Nia shakes her head. “I’d still like to talk to Edme first before deciding on anything. Giratina helped us, but that doesn’t necessarily mean his end goals are good.”

Tobias sits back against the cushions. “Agreed. But knowing you, I figured you'd already decided to befriend him.”

Nia sticks her tongue out at him but doesn't respond. Tobias takes that as a win.

"So you wanna catch me up on everything that happened in the mines?"

The riolu almost seems surprised by the request, before she shifts position to get more comfortable and begins to talk. Her words start out hesitant, and she peeks at him like she isn’t sure he wants to hear all the gritty details, but she picks up speed and strength as she goes on. She tells him about Giratina appearing and helping her hide, the legendary leading her and Samir to Tobias, and how she defeated the steelix with the help of the blast seeds. Tobias locks his jaw every time she trails off, clearly trying to figure out how to soften the fact that she—or he or Samir—brushed close to death yet again. He feels terrible for leaving that all on her.

But he also can’t help feeling impressed, too.

“Quick thinking,” he comments, when she reaches the end of her retelling. “And...I am sorry for leaving you to fight him alone. You shouldn’t have had to do that.”

Nia gives him a tired smile. “I’m upset that you dragged us down there in the first place, not that you got knocked out. You couldn’t help that.”

Their discussion is interrupted by a sharp knock at the door. Tobias looks up in time to see a familiar skiddo face peer through the cracked opening.

“Samir!” Nia says, sounding happy but unsurprised. “C’mon in. Tobias is up!”

The skiddo shoulders their way into the room, giving Tobias a once-over as if to gauge how injured he is. Tobias raises a brow in return. When Samir is satisfied that the charmander isn’t going to keel over, they sit down and fix him with a heavy glare.

Tobias frowns back, not appreciating the immediate ire. “What?”

Samir adopts an incredulous expression. They look to Nia, then back to Tobias, then back again.

Nia barks a laugh. “Are you asking if I scolded him yet for dragging us down there?”

Samir nods.

Tobias rolls his eyes. “Yeah, yeah, she already chewed me out about it.”

Samir closes their eyes and lifts their nose into the air as if to say, Good. Tobias gives in to the childish urge to blow a puff of smoke in the grass type’s face. Samir rears back with a wrinkled nose, kicking a small cushion at Tobias in retaliation.

“Okay, settle down!” Nia laughs, yanking the pillow from Tobias’ grip. “Now that Tobias is feeling better, I wanted to talk to you too, Samir.”

Tobias and Samir pause their feud to eye the riolu, wary. Nia’s innocent tone would normally mean something bad for Tobias, but her gaze is currently focused on Samir.

“Don’t look at me like that! I just wanted to say you fought really well down in the mines.”

Ah. Tobias sees immediately where she’s going with this. He smirks.

Samir clearly follows as well. They give Nia an unamused look.

Nia throws her hands up. “No, seriously! You were the perfect teammate!”

Samir's gaze moves to the door as if they’re legitimately thinking about getting up and leaving. Nia shoots Tobias a pleading look.

Tobias huffs. “She’s right, you know. She’s not just being nice.”

At that, Samir pauses. They fix Tobias with a solemn, searching look. Oh. They’re…actually taking Tobias seriously. He wasn’t expecting that.

Tobias clears his throat and straightens up. “You held your own down there.”

“And when we were fighting Eddy you worked perfectly with us!” Nia adds. “Totally in sync.”

Samir blinks at the two of them, wide-eyed. There’s some kind of emotion building behind their stoic expression. Tobias thinks he sees the skiddo’s mouth tremble.

Tobias snorts, trying to defuse the tension. “Your old partner’s an idiot if they thought you being mute meant you couldn’t work as a team. And your guildmaster’s an even bigger idiot if they wrote you off too.”

Nia nods emphatically.

At that, Samir ducks their head. Their shoulders shake.

“Yeah, you’d be an awesome addition to any team!” Nia adds. But this time, she looks to Tobias while Samir is distracted by wiping at their face. Her eyes are wide and hopeful as she looks between Samir and Tobias.

Oh. Tobias leans back, something like panic shooting through him. Is she really asking if she can invite the skiddo to join their team? That’s a huge decision! Not something she can just spring on him! Nia winces at his expression and makes a soothing gesture.

Tobias doesn’t say anything, warily letting her take the lead.

When Samir finally pulls themself together a bit, Nia gently says, “You know, if you ever feel like moving to the Lexym Guild, I’m sure August would love to have you. He’d get you paired up with a team in no time!”

Nia glances at Tobias, and he relaxes, giving her a tired nod. That’s…fine. No promises of a place on their team, but an offer of help and a better place for the skiddo to live. They can talk later about Nia apparently wanting to expand their team. The thought puts a pit in Tobias’ stomach, some part of him whispering that she just wants to replace her grumpy mess of a partner who keeps dragging her into death traps.

But then Nia lights up at his approving nod, tail wagging behind her, and somehow that helps ward away the bad thoughts.

“You don’t have to decide right now of course,” Nia says. “But…just keep it in mind, okay?”

Samir sniffs one last time and nods, avoiding both of their eyes. Tobias relates to the skiddo’s embarrassment when it comes to emotions, and hurriedly fishes for another topic of conversation to get the ball rolling.

Nia answers his questions about the aftermath of the mines. She tells him that he’s only been out for a day, and that Granite and Takeo didn't seem too mad about them disobeying orders and sneaking out. Apparently they just seemed relieved to see the three of them safe.

Tobias sees what she means when Granite and Takeo bring the three of them a small supper in the evening, commenting that it’s good to see Tobias up and awake. Takeo grumbles about reckless kids and their hero complexes, but there’s no real heat to the words. Nia and Samir both give Tobias pointed looks that he returns with a glare. He doesn’t have a “hero complex”—if anyone does, it’s Nia. He just has a mission to accomplish.

The rest of the night passes peacefully, with Samir leaving shortly after the meal.

By the next morning, Tobias is feeling more or less back to normal. Nia watches fretfully as he removes the bandages from his leg and checks the long, scabbed-over gash on his thigh. It’s probably going to scar, but it seems like it's healed enough to travel.

“We could rest for another day,” Nia suggests.

“We’ve got places to be,” Tobias objects, stretching his leg. “Did you get that information from Granite yet for solving the town’s earthquake problem?”

Nia shakes her head. “No. I figured since it’s from Rosalind you’d want to read it first. I can go ask Granite for it?"

At Tobias’ assent, the riolu leaves the room. Tobias takes a deep breath and rises to his feet to stretch out his sore, stiff limbs.

Rosalind promised them info on Team Zenith, on the outlaws, if they finished this mission for her. Tobias hopes it’s something substantial and doesn’t just lead them on a wild yungoos chase. They fought too hard for this not to be worth it.

After a minute or so, Tobias feels Granite’s heavy footsteps moving closer, down the hall. Nia comes pattering into the room just ahead of the donphan, moving to Tobias’ side and glancing not-so-subtly at his leg.

“Heard you were itchin’ to get movin’,” Granite greets them. The donphan has a satchel across his broad back—maybe preparing to go out for the day?

“I-I think so,” Nia says, bowing to Granite. “Thank you for everything! We really appreciate you letting us board here for the past few days.”

Granite waves her off with his trunk. “Straighten up, pup. If anything, we should be doin’ more to thank y’all. You stopped the quakes and even gave us some fresh mining work! Asra's in your debt. If you ever need help or somewhere to stay, you two know where to find us.”

Nia looks sentimental at that declaration. Tobias would bet money that she’s debating whether or not to give the older ‘mon a hug.

Before she can figure it out, Tobias clears his throat. “I’m glad we could help. Rosalind promised us some information in exchange for this mission?”

Granite’s easygoing expression fades. “Right. Listen, I know I said it before and you kids can handle yourselves, but be careful with Rosa, all right? That hatterene’s sketchier than a smeargle.”

Tobias gives an impatient nod.

“Here,” Granite sighs, digging a rolled-up piece of parchment paper out of his satchel with his trunk. “Came in from Rosa the other day, so I guess she was confident you’d get the job done. Sure hope it was worth nearly gettin’ yourselves killed.”

Tobias snatches the paper, quickly ripping it open. Nia quietly thanks Granite before crowding closer to Tobias to read over his shoulder.

Team Scarlet,

I trust that your determination will lead you to the answers our client seeks. In return, I’ve found a delightful piece of information about Team Zenith.

I have word that one of the outlaws, Asra the crobat, settled down just a few short miles from your current location.

Tobias’ breath catches. The crobat is near…here? But what does she mean by “settled down?” Is he hiding out or something? What about his other teammates? Why would he separate from them?

Tobias’ hold crinkles the paper under his hands. He reads on.

Word is that he may have taken on a new alias, going by the name Vesper.

I will warn you that this information is from two years ago, so there is a chance that the crobat has moved on to a different location. However, I thought you would still appreciate the opportunity to explore while you’re in the area.

Tobias reads on, taking in the directions to the supposed location, a few miles outside of town and just off the main road. Apparently the crobat uses a stack of stones as a marker for the turn. He and Nia must’ve passed the spot on their way into Asra without even noticing it.

Nia finishes reading before Tobias does, wordlessly pulling back. When Tobias catches up, he looks up to meet her eyes. She has an unreadable, serious expression on her face.

“Are we ready for this?” Nia murmurs.

“We have to be,” Tobias rasps in return. He glances down at the directions one more time before rolling the parchment back up. “If he is there, you can stay back. I don’t want to drag you into a fight if you don’t feel ready for it, and it’s my business anyways.”

Nia makes a quiet sound of protest, reaching out to touch his hand until he looks at her again. “I’m not leaving. We’re a team, remember? But just…try not to go running in before we can scope it out, all right? Remember what I said before. Let’s go in with a plan.”

Tobias isn’t sure how he can possibly manage that when he knows he’s about to come face-to-face with one of the outlaws who ruined his life. He’s already shaking, adrenaline buzzing beneath his skin. But Nia has a point. He can’t go running in and get himself killed before taking down the other two. Or worse, drag Nia down with him.

Stiffly, Tobias nods. Nia looks relieved, and gives his hand a squeeze before saying that she’ll get their satchel ready so they can head out. Tobias is grateful that she’s so willing to leave right away. He doesn’t think he could’ve handled having to hang around here knowing that the crobat is so close.

“Oi, little Char.”

Tobias looks back to Granite. The donphan gestures for Tobias to follow him, then shoulders aside the door and walks out into the hall, towards the front of the building where the shop is. Tobias glances at Nia before hesitantly trailing the ground-type’s thudding footsteps.

When Tobias enters the shop, he finds Granite shuffling out from between the shelves. The donphan is gently holding the little stringed guitar that Tobias had seen the first day they got to Asra.

Tobias can’t help the way his eyes linger on it, heart aching for a distant memory of music. To his surprise, Granite takes a step forward and holds the guitar out to him.

“It’s yours,” Granite says, more of a demand than a request. “A little something extra to say thanks, for all the trouble you went to to help us out. We appreciate it.”

Tobias stares at the guitar, stunned. Slowly, his hands drift out to take it. The wood is smooth and cool in his hands.

“Take good care of it now, y’hear?”

Tobias blinks, swallowing hard against a lump in his throat. Eventually, he manages to say, “Nia and Samir did most of the work.”

“I already gave the riolu a book she’s been eyeing. Just take it and don’t get yourself killed before you actually learn to play.”

Tobias, too choked up to speak, just nods his thanks, cradling the instrument close. Granite huffs in response and trundles back to the counter before Tobias can embarrass himself further.

For a moment, it’s all Tobias thinks about. He runs a thumb over one of the strings—it needs tightened and probably tuned, but the instrument is in fairly good shape. The wood is solid but flexible, a beautiful copper color and smooth to the touch, expertly carved.

He can try playing—can try making music like his family used to do, humming and singing in their cave. He can show those half-remembered melodies off to Nia, and Maggie! Maggie has a nice singing voice like his mom did and—

Like she did. Before everything. Before Team Zenith.

The rising euphoria in his chest plummets back to Earth.

Tobias doesn’t have time for this right now. He finally has a solid lead on one of the outlaws. He needs to focus on that, on what he’ll do when he meets with the crobat face-to-face.

Nia appears from the hall, worried expression lightening when she sees him holding the guitar.

Tobias ignores her probing look, taking the satchel from her to carry it himself. He carefully tucks the guitar away inside, making sure it’s cushioned by softer items. He feels hesitant to put it away, but he can always try it out later, once this is dealt with. This is more important.

“So we’re heading out right away?” Nia asks.

“Yeah.”

Nia nods, glancing at Granite. “Let me say goodbye to a few people. I’ll keep it quick.”

Tobias sighs, but gestures impatiently for her to get on with it.

He trails behind her as she says her thanks and goodbyes to Granite and Takeo. Granite gives them both hearty slaps on the back and tells them not to die. Takeo sends them off with a quiet blessing from his ancestors. Nia, of course, almost cries, giving them both a watery smile and a wave as they step off the porch.

“We only knew them for a few days,” Tobias points out, both exasperated and amused.

“So?” Nia sniffs. “It doesn’t matter how long you know someone. I’ll still miss them.”

Nia makes a point to stop by Deidra’s ruined saloon next, where the construction has been halted in Eddy’s absence. Luckily, Deidra (and Cody, staying close to her side like a comforting mountain) don’t seem angry with Nia and Tobias for arresting one of their own. They both thank the two of them for stopping the dewott before anyone else could get hurt. Deidra even refills Nia’s canteen and hands Tobias a few hydration berries for the journey ahead, giving them a wink.

Nia leads them to the edge of town next, where Calder and Samir are standing outside of Lara’s house.

“Word is you two are heading out,” Calder says, tipping his head in a capless greeting. “You sure you’re feeling well enough to get back on the road?”

Samir looks at them with an unreadable expression.

“We’ve rested enough,” Tobias says, hiking the satchel higher on his shoulder. “We have somewhere we need to be.”

At his side, Nia offers a helpless shrug and an apologetic smile of agreement.

“Hm.” Calder looks at them for a moment with lidded eyes. Then, he nods. “Well, you two take care of yourself. I’ll be sure to pass along word to the guild about your help.”

“Oh,” Nia says, exchanging a surprised look with Tobias. They’d thought they weren’t going to get any recognition for this one, since it wasn’t an official mission. “Thank you!”

“Least I can do,” Calder scoffs, for a moment looking a bit self-deprecating. Then he shakes his head. “You two take care of yourselves, all right? No more jumping into dangerous situations without backup.”

Nia gives Tobias a pointed jab with her elbow. Tobias hisses under his breath and elbows her back.

Calder almost looks amused. Then, he tips his head to them again. “Let me know if y’all ever need any help. Asra’s authority has your back.”

And with that, the inteleon strides off, leaving them alone with Samir. This silence feels a bit heavier, a bit more loaded with indecision and emotion.

Eventually, Nia says, “I meant what I said yesterday, you know. The Lexym Guild would be happy to have you as a Seeker.”

Samir’s stiff posture and hard expression soften, just a bit, under Nia’s reminder. They sigh, then write in the dirt.

THANKS

WILL THINK ABOUT IT

NEED TO HELP TOWN RECOVER

Nia looks disappointed, but smiles all the same. “That’s sweet of you to hang around and get everyone back on their feet.”

“Just don’t let your old partner or your guild push you around,” Tobias gruffs.

Samir gives them a small, subdued smile and a nod. Nia sniffles. Tobias isn’t at all surprised to look over and see her blinking back tears, mouth wobbly.

“Arceus,” he huffs, rolling his eyes.

“What? It was great having Samir with us!” Nia defends, voice wavering. She turns back to the skiddo. “Really. We’ll miss you. Take care, okay? Hopefully we see you sooner rather than later.”

Samir seems caught off-guard by the riolu’s emotions. They fluster, shuffling their hooves for a moment before nodding and writing, YOU TOO.

Nia does start crying at that, just a little bit. Samir, panicked, steps closer as if to try and help, and Nia takes the opportunity to give them a parting hug.

Tobias stuffs down a sharp jab of annoyance and rolls his eyes. “Nia.”

Nia frees Samir, who looks embarrassed by the affection as they take a step back, straightening their posture. Tobias spots a zebstrika-pulled cart ahead, being loaded up with goods and likely about to head out.

He nudges Nia. “We need to get going if we want to try hitching a ride.”

“Oh! Right. Thanks again, Samir. Stay safe.”

Tobias hurries over to the pair of zebstrika hooked up to the cart, asking if he and Nia could hitch a ride a few miles outside of town. The electric types request a few poké in return, which Tobias grudgingly hands over.

Soon enough, the two of them are bouncing along atop a small cart of goods. They slowly trundle up the narrow path circling the canyon wall, watching Fort Asra shrink below them, a deep blue sky overhead and a canyon of warm, bright tans below.

It’s past noon by time they catch sight of the landmark listed on the map: a large stack of stones at the side of the road, taller than Tobias and Nia combined. Tobias calls for the cart to stop so they can disembark, waving off the zebstrika with a word of thanks.

As the cart wheels away, leaving a faint cloud of dust in its wake, Nia leans in to peer at the directions over Tobias’ shoulder. “You’re sure this is the right place?”

“Rosalind’s info says this is the landmark.” He squints at the dirt ahead, trying to summon up some of Samir’s tracking abilities. “Am I losing it, or is there a trail here?”

Nia tilts her head, as if that’ll help her see better. “…Maybe?” She takes a deep breath, nose twitching.

Tobias suddenly recalls Fen’s words from long ago, when Nia first showed up. “Hey, why don’t you ever use your nose to try tracking?”

Nia looks over her shoulder, as if he’s talking to someone else. She looks back to him, bewildered. “Me?”

He rolls his eyes. “Yes, you! You see any other riolu out here?”

Nia frowns and looks down at her nose, cross-eyed. “I…I guess I’ve never tried? I usually try to ignore my nose when we go places, since smells are so strong in this body. It all just jumbles together and gets really overwhelming.”

Tobias supposes that makes sense. He keeps Rosalind’s instructions out but starts a tentative path forward across the rocky desert landscape, trying to follow the faint remains of a path he thinks he sees. “So humans don’t use their noses to track?”

Nia laughs, which gives him his answer. “Nope! We can use scent dogs to track things, but our sense of smell isn’t good enough for that. Do you really think I could learn to do that?”

“Yeah? You’re a riolu. You just gotta…learn to separate the smells or something.”

“Ah, of course. Why didn’t I think of that?”

Tobias gives her a dry look, before turning back to the map. He only looks at it in short glimpses, sparing the rest of his attention for their surroundings. He doesn’t want to be caught off-guard by anyone, even if everything is so bright and open out here that it’d be hard to sneak up on them.

“Maybe we can find a tracker when we get back to the guild,” Tobias says after a few minutes, hearing Nia taking deep breaths as if trying to absorb the desert scents.

“That would be cool,” Nia murmurs, distracted as she takes another lungful of air. “It’s actually easier out here, since there aren’t a lot of different things to smell.”

Tobias hums and they continue on, scrabbling over rocky terrain and scraggly plants, occasionally ducking under low rock formations. Tobias enjoys the sun against his skin, more than comfortable encased in heat, but Nia has to dig out her water flask within minutes and needs to take periodic breathers in patches of cooler shade. Tobias tries to be patient and not rush her, knowing riolu aren’t built for this climate like he is.

Eventually, Tobias spots another stack of stones shimmering in the desert heat, and he steers them in that direction even as he increases his wary glances around the environment. He does feel better about seeking out the crobat in the height of the day, when he would naturally be asleep, but he doesn’t want them to be caught off-guard. The crobat’s hideout is only supposed to be a mile or so off the main road, after all.

It's late afternoon when Tobias finally spots something out of place in the distance: a small Pokemon-made structure, high off the ground and built into the side of a rocky spire. He points it out to Nia, putting Rosalind’s directions away, and the two of them tread closer on quiet feet.

When they’ve gotten close enough, they crouch behind some nearby rocks and peer up at the strange structure. Tobias isn’t sure exactly what he was expecting, but it wasn’t…this.

The building almost looks quaint. Like a little house. It’s a small wooden structure built into the side of a spire of rock, 15 yards or so off the ground. A rickety, narrow staircase zigzags up the rock face to lead to the front door. Most baffling, there are flowers growing in a basket on the windowsill, and colorful, almost scribble-like markings on the side of the rocky spire that Tobias can’t decipher from here.

“It kind of looks like a house,” Nia murmurs, sounding as confused as he feels.

“Don’t let your guard down."

This has to be a trap or something. He pulls out the letter from Rosalind again, scanning it to be sure they got the directions right. Not like they’ve seen any other buildings since leaving Asra—they’re truly in the desolate emptiness of the desert now. Only someone hiding away from the world or wanting to go completely off the grid would choose to live out here.

Could Asra—or Vesper, or whatever he’s going by—really be here? Tobias has to admit this place doesn’t look like somewhere a murderous outlaw would be hiding, but maybe that’s the point.

“Maybe we should stake it out for a bit,” Nia suggests, eyeing Tobias worriedly as if expecting him to run up to the door with his claws out and flames burning.

Tobias grunts his agreement, sitting down and peering around the edge of the rock to keep his eyes locked on the building’s front door.

This just…doesn’t feel right. Tobias always imagined when he came face-to-face with any of the outlaws from Team Zenith, it’d be an immediate fight to the finish, out in the wilds. Not…this. Not waiting for the crobat to show up and…what? Water his flowers?

Some part of Tobias wants to laugh. Another part of him feels sick to his stomach. He can’t pinpoint exactly why, but his heart is slowly speeding up. Rosalind did say that the information was from a few years back. Could the crobat have moved on?

He continues to stare down the door. Waiting. Distantly, he hears Nia ask him something once or twice, but he can’t seem to pull his focus back to her. It feels like he has to keep all of his attention on that door, no matter what. Like it’s a matter of life and death.

Slowly, the minutes tick by in tense silence. The sun sinks lower, edging towards sunset.

Tobias is only broken out of the spell when he hears a noise of some kind from inside the structure. A high shriek. He stands, tensed and ready to run for the door. What was that? Does someone need help? Is the crobat hurting someone in there right now?

Before he can move from their hiding spot, Nia grabs his arm. He jumps, startled by the sudden touch.

“Wait,” She whispers. “I hear—”

The door slams open, and high-pitched laughter spills out. Two small shapes burst outside and unfurl their wings, giggling and circling each other in the air with quick, frenetic wingbeats. Too small to be the crobat, and neither one is the right color. Plus their voices are too young.

“Kids?” Nia murmurs, sounding just as confused as Tobias feels.

“Be back at midnight for supper!” A voice calls from inside the house. A moment later, the distinct angular ears and pink heart nose of a swoobat leans out the door.

The two kids flap their wings to hover in place, finally still enough to see. They’re little more than tiny blue puffballs with matching heart noses and toothy grins. Something about them feels slightly strange, though, and it puts Tobias on edge.

“Okay, Mom!”

“And don’t play too close to any unstable rocks. You know the rules.”

The kids—woobats—groan but agree before zipping away.

The swoobat sighs and mutters something to herself before propping open the door and heading back inside.

Tobias stares at where the psychic-type disappeared, his stomach sinking. There’s…a family living here, which means the crobat has to have moved on. Surely he’s not sticking around the area, not with witnesses living so close by. They seem comfortable here, too. Familiar. Like they've lived here for a while.

“He’s not here,” Tobias says, toneless. They missed another lead. He rubs at his face, trying to decode and push away whatever wave of emotion is lapping at his heels. Whatever it is, it doesn’t feel good. “Great.”

Nia glances back at the house. “Maybe this family has an idea of where he could’ve gone?”

“You think the wanted murderer made nice with the neighbors before going on the run?”

Nia twists her mouth in a way that means she isn’t exactly hopeful about the possibility herself. Still, she stands and says, “I’m going to go ask. No harm in checking, right?”

She says it as if she’s going to go alone, but Tobias immediately straightens up to follow her. He’s not going to sit down here and have her do the investigating for him.

Nia relents, leading the way to the base of the old wooden stairs built into the side of the rockface. The wood creaks and dips under their weight, but doesn’t give. As they climb, the bright markings on the side of the spire become much clearer with proximity. Tobias can see now that they’re wobbly, messy children’s drawings. Like the ones he and Vivi used to make on the inside of their cave growing up. He swallows hard and moves his eyes back to the steps.

As they reach the top landing, the faint sound of humming that Tobias had barely registered cuts off. A moment later, the swoobat pokes her head out of the doorway, ears perking and eyes growing wide at the sight of Nia and Tobias.

“Oh! Hello there. Are you two lost?”

Tobias opens his mouth to answer, then thinks better of it when he already feels off-kilter.

Nia steps in. “Hello! No, we were actually looking for someone, but it doesn’t look like he’s here. We were wondering if you maybe knew him before you moved in?”

The swoobat relaxes at the question, stepping out onto the makeshift porch. She’s holding a small dish towel between her wings. “I’ve lived here since this house was built, actually.”

Tobias looks up at the swoobat’s face, startled. “What?”

“Oh!” Nia seems equally unprepared for that statement. “W-Well, um. Do you happen to know of anybody living nearby named Asra? O-Or Vesper.”

“A crobat,” Tobias adds, voice tight.

The swoobat drops the dish towel, fluffy collar puffing with surprise. Then, her ears lower as her expression weighs down with something deeply sad. “Vesper? Yes, he…he was my mate.”

Tobias’ breath catches. He stares at the swoobat as his mind fumbles and blanks. Thoughts drain away from him like water.

Mate?

“Was?” Nia echoes gently, after a moment of stunned silence.

The swoobat takes a shuddering, bracing breath, picking up the dish towel with her flexible pink tail. “Yes. Vess passed a little over a year ago, after an accident. I’m…I’m sorry you had to find out this way. I didn’t know many of his friends to notify them.”

Through a numbing static, Tobias hears Nia stutter, “O-Oh! No, we weren’t—I mean…”

“He’s dead?” Tobias rasps.

The swoobat squeezes her eyes shut tight, as if pained by the very reminder. “Yes. Would you like to see his resting place? I’m sure he’d appreciate you stopping by.”

Nia glances at Tobias like he's a live bomb, clearly worried that he’s about to fall apart. Strangely, Tobias feels blank instead. Hollow. His mouth responds for him. “Yes.”

The swoobat gives him a sympathetic look. She asks him and Nia to meet her back at the bottom of the stairs before gliding off the edge of the wooden platform and spiraling down.

Nia turns to him immediately. “Tobias—"

“Let’s go,” He says. “I want to see it.”

Nia looks like she wants to argue. But then she nods, moving towards the stairs and waiting for him to match her steps. As if he might fall off if she moves even a step ahead of him.

Tobias doesn’t register much in the next few minutes. He vaguely feels himself moving down the steps. Realizes at some point that he and Nia are following the swoobat a short distance away across dirt and desert sand to a small cave. The psychic-type’s soft, compassionate voice grates on his ears. Nia is a warm weight glued to his side. He matches her steps, unable to do much else.

And then he’s there, standing in a tiny cave surrounded by cool air. Bright sunset light spills in from behind, painting everything warm against heavy shadows. The swoobat has left, probably for their privacy. Nia has taken a step away to give him space, but he can feel the weight of her gaze.

In front of Tobias sits a small monument, carefully carved and lovingly cared for. Desert flowers and dried berries sit at its foot, carefully arranged.

Vesper

Beloved Mate and Father

Now One with Lunala’s Stars

Among the offerings, Tobias sees a simple painting, likely made by the two children they’d glimpsed earlier. There’s a large purple blob surely meant to represent the crobat, smiling with wide white fangs. Two smaller, bluer blobs sit happily under his wings.

And somehow that is what brings Tobias’ emotions roaring back.

He thinks of the two woobat he saw earlier, about how they felt slightly off to him. He realizes now what it was. They were just a bit speedier than Tobias would expect of such young Pokemon. As fast as the blur of violet wings from his memory. Their fluffy fur just a shade closer to violet than blue.

The crobat who helped destroy his family, who ruined his life, had kids. Had a mate, and a home. He had happiness, after ripping all of that away from Tobias. And he didn’t even have the decency to live long enough to look Tobias in the eye when he came to ask why.

Rage pours through Tobias, hotter than any flame he’s ever wielded.

One instant he’s at Nia’s side. The next, he’s lunging forward with a feral cry. The children’s painting is torn to shreds beneath his claws. The flowers and berries are set ablaze in a flash of fire, bright and hot. He lunges for the stone next, aiming to crack it against the wall until it snaps and crumbles.

Strong arms hook around his middle, yanking him back.

Tobias’ responding snarl almost drowns out Nia’s call of his name, but she only tightens her grip. He writhes and tries to get traction on the dirt, but she drags him back, towards the opening of the cave. Once they’re a few feet away, she swings him around and lets go, standing as a barrier between him and his target. She’s panting, wide-eyed.

“Move!” Tobias snaps.

“T-Tobias, I know you’re upset but—”

“Move!” Tobias snarls, embers spitting from his mouth.

“Tobias, you need to take a second and—”

“Don’t tell me what I need!” He hisses. He tries to push through Nia’s stance, only for her to catch him and lock her hands with his, leaving them eye to eye and straining for ground.

“Tobias, she’s going to come back and see—"

“So what?! She needs to know! She should know that her mate killed a family in cold blood!”

“That won’t help anything!” Nia says through gritted teeth. “What will that accomplish?! Make her feel guilty for loving someone so horrible? Make her kids feel like there’s something tainted in their blood? It won’t help anyone! He’s dead!”

“Maybe they deserve to live with it!” Tobias shouts. He feels panicked as his rage falters into something heavier. Traitorous tears prick hot at the back of his eyes. “Someone should have to!”

Nia falters, eyes going wide. Tobias could break through easily now, if he tried. Instead, he tightens his grip on her hands, trying to stoke his rage back to its full power.

“What right do you have to stop me?! You don’t get it!”

“Tobias,” Nia murmurs, looking uncertain. “I…”

Tobias stares at her, panting, as tears bubble up in his eyes. He’s shaking as the rage mixes with grief in his chest, boiling under his skin both ice cold and magma hot.

“You don’t get it,” he repeats, voice breaking.

Nia stares at him, brow furrowed. Slowly, her hold loosens. She slips free of him, stepping back and out of Tobias’ way. She looks at the memorial, then him, then away.

“You’re right. I-I…I don’t understand. But if this will help, then…I won’t stop you.”

Tobias…doesn’t know what to do with that. His fury has already started to die down after the riolu’s interruption. The magma has hardened to something heavy and horrible, weighing him down. He doesn’t want to sit with that. He wants the fire back.

Tobias staggers forward, back to the memorial. His feet brush through fine ash, still smoldering. He stares at the gravesite through his tears, the delicate carvings of a crobat and lunala blurring. He raises a hand, claws at the ready, but can’t seem to bring it down. That just makes him feel worse.

Tobias swallows thickly, a sob shuddering from his chest. He came here with the intent of taking the crobat down, taking him into custody or even killing him if it came to it. He'd thought for eight years about the questions he would get answers to, the vindication he would feel tearing down one of the monsters who destroyed his life.

Instead, he’s at the grave of a Pokemon who had a mate and kids, who had a family that loved him. It feels…twisted. Wrong. Like he’s in a bad dream.

Tobias’ legs give out beneath him, and he leans forward to rest his head on the stone, cries ripping from his throat. The ugly thing in his chest doesn’t seem to die down, only raging on and on and on.

He can feel it, when Nia hesitantly joins him. She kneels at his side.

He looks up at her, gut churning with nausea. “Why did he get to be happy? He didn’t—he didn’t deserve to…”

Nia’s expression crumbles, and for a moment Tobias thinks she might start crying too. “I don't know,” she says, soft. She hesitantly slides a paw up to rub circles into his back. “I’m sorry, Tobias.”

Tobias doesn’t realize he’s leaning into her until she's already wrapping him up in a hug. He hugs her back tight enough to hurt, but the pressure and the warmth and the soft texture of her fur helps, somehow. It feels grounding. Gives him something to latch onto aside from the turbulent waves of his emotions.

He doesn’t know how long he cries, soaking Nia’s fur and shuddering through waves of nausea. She murmurs quiet, meaningless comforts to him. Rocks with him and uses her thumbs to trace soothing circles against his back.

By time Tobias is somewhat calm again, he feels like the wrung-out dish rag the swoobat had been holding earlier. Flimsy and worn, with a few holes and gritty stains left behind.

The light coming in from the cave’s opening is now gray and weak, dusk on the cusp of night.

Tobias sniffs, staring sightlessly at the ruined bits of the memorial beneath them, now nothing more than scattered ash blending in with the dirt floor.

“I want them to hurt, too,” Tobias says, voice tight. “I know I shouldn’t.”

Nia squeezes him tighter.

“I know they didn’t do anything wrong. They didn’t know, but…”

Before Tobias can fully form that thought, he sniffs and leans away from Nia, wiping at his eyes. It feels cold without her so close.

They both look at the gravestone in front of them, so carefully carved and lovingly cared for. But it’s alone, out here in the wilderness. He can’t touch anyone else, buried six feet under and miles from civilization.

It still feels too good for him. Some part of Tobias still wants to kick the headstone over and scorch it black. He wants to dig up the crobat’s bones and scatter them in the desert sand. But that part of him feels ugly and too much like the monster buried in front of him, so he tries to let it make itself known before passing through his mind.

A quiet sound at the mouth of the cave catches Nia’s attention, and Tobias follows her gaze.

The swoobat has returned, framed by dusk light. Her round eyes are focused on the absence of gifts at the foot of the grave, at the ashes left in their wake. Tobias expects her to be upset, to yell and chase them out. Instead, her gaze moves to Tobias, brow furrowing into something like realization.

There’s a heavy moment of silence.

Finally, the swoobat breaks it, stepping forward. “Vess always held a lot of…regret. For something that happened in his past. He wouldn’t tell me about it, but he mentioned that it’s why he parted ways from his team all those years ago and settled down near Asra. It’s where he was born.”

Before Tobias can respond to that, the swoobat’s gaze flicks away, nervous.

“He was very upset once. When we bumped into a charmander at the market to the south. Wouldn’t talk for a week. D-Did…did something..?”

Tobias feels the weight of expectation settle onto him, but he’s so tired that it barely registers what he’s hearing. How is he supposed to react to this revelation? How is he supposed to feel knowing that the crobat apparently felt some measure of guilt for what he was a part of? That he was upset about it?

Ha. Lot of good guilt does. Doesn’t bring back his family.

The embers of rage spark back to life. Not blazing, but hot enough to put Tobias’ limbs into motion. Tobias staggers to his feet, then towards the swoobat. The psychic-type stands strong and stares back at him, expression resolute even as her body trembles.

She’s scared. Terrified that Tobias is going to tell her something she never wanted to hear. That he’s going to ruin the memory of her beloved mate and the father to her kids. Tobias wants to. He wants to watch her face fall with shock and horror. Wants to spread the terrible grief caused by the crobat’s actions like a toxin.

But Tobias thinks of Nia’s words. Thinks of those kids. Thinks of how much guilt he carries for not being strong enough to protect his sister. Thinks how terrible he would feel for someone he loved and admired to be responsible for such loss.

“Your mate,” Tobias finally spits. “Wasn’t a good Pokemon. At least he wasn’t a terrible father.”

The words feel like acid in his throat. He doesn’t know if leaving her in the dark is a mercy or a punishment. He shoves past the swoobat, stomping away into the desert. Away from their happy little home and the gravestone of a murderer.

He walks, and walk, and walks. Lets the rhythm of the motion replace his thoughts. Eyes ahead, unseeing of the desert around him.

Tobias doesn’t come back to himself until he stumbles over a stone in the ground. He catches himself on his hands and knees, scuffing them. The pain seems to jog something in his brain, because he suddenly settles back into the shell of his body.

The dirt is cooling quickly beneath him with the falling night. Nia is at his side, watching silently. Overhead, stars glitter like layers of crystal. Tobias thinks he can hear the distant laughter of the woobat children.

“Tobias?” Nia asks, soft voice loud in the night air.

“Should I have told her?”

Nia falters. Then, almost too quiet to hear, she murmurs, “I don’t know.”

Tobias takes a deep breath, letting it out in a puff of steam that wisps and curls. He stands. “Let’s go.”

“A-Are you sure?”

Tobias nods, rubbing at his sore, tired eyes. “Let’s just…go find Edme. We still need to learn more about Giratina."

Nia stares at him with worried eyes. She must be able to tell that he’s just looking for something else to focus on. That he just wants to leave, and not think about any of this for a while. That he wants to get some distance between himself and the sweet little family his personal monster left behind.

Tobias expects her to bring it up, to say that they need to talk about it. Instead, Nia slowly nods, reaching out to slip their satchel off Tobias’ shoulder and over her own. She hesitates, then reaches out a paw to take his hand, gently tugging him into motion. Tobias doesn’t fight her, grateful as she leads his unmoored body back towards the road.

#pmd #pokemon mystery dungeon #pokemon #riolu #charmander #pmd seekers of soul #tesha draws #tesha writes

[bubbles-for-all-of-us]

Oh you wanna play that game?! FINE!

"She's gone baby. You can't go back... I am sorry"

Joel woke up with a start, gasping Sarah’s name. He was drenched in cold sweats, his heart pounding in his chest.

The only source of light came from the blueish sky filtering through the curtains— indicator of the imminent sunrise . Joel felt his chest clench painfully as he struggled to get the air inside his lungs. He clutched at the sheet beneath him as terrible memories came rushing through his mind.

“Joel?” You mumbled sleepily.

Quickly realizing what was happening, you sat up and turned on the small light next to you.

“Joel, baby, what’s going on?”

“S-Sarah, Sarah…dead…she’s dead”

You frowned, trying to understand what he was talking about.

“Honey, Sarah’s okay. You just had a nightmare,” you soothed your hand up and down his back as he struggled to breathe.

“No, no, she…she…” he couldn’t even get the words out anymore, each word, each syllable uttered edging him closer to despair.

“Joel, listen to me, hey,” you turned his face towards you, caressing his cheeks “she’s okay. We watched a movie, she fell asleep and you carried her to bed. She’s okay.”

But your words weren’t enough. He was in too deep, wrapped up in his own fear. You brushed the sticky hair from his brow and grabbed his hand. He didn’t even fight you, let you guide him through the small corridor.

Down the hall, you slowly pushed the bedroom door open, allowing Joel to witness the small lump under the covers.

Sarah.

Joel’s lips trembled as he advanced in the room. He got on his knees, his hand reaching for the frizzy hair he adored. His fingers trailed down the soft features and relished in the small puffs of air he felt against his skin.

She was breathing. She was okay.

Leaning against the frame, you smiled fondly as you watched the scene before you. Joel let out a shaky breath and kissed Sarah’s brow before getting up. He turned towards you, his sad, terrified gaze now relieved.

“I-I’m sorry, I thought…” he mumbled, reaching for your hand.

“It’s alright, honey. You-“

“Hey what’s going on guys? A little too late for a slumber party” a sleepy voice cut you off.

You looked over Joel’s shoulder to see Sarah, her eyes half closed, still hiding under the covers.

“We…we just thought we heard something. Thought you might have fallen off your bed so we came to check.” You quickly answered, squeezing Joel’s hand

“Why would I fall off the bed?”

“Because you’re a tornado when you sleep and it’s a miracle you don’t wake up with bruises all over your body every morning”

“Mmmh it’s too early to be witty, Y/N.”

You smiled. “You’re right, baby. Go back to sleep.”

She answered with soft snores, earning a chuckle from you. You closed the door behind you, still holding Joel’s hand. His nightmare had been so real, the fried and pain so true he struggled separating it from reality.

“You’re not gonna be able to sleep now, are you?”

He shook his head. “‘T’s fine, I’ll go downstairs and you can sleep some more.”

“Nah, i’m gonna fix you some breakfast because you and I both know my coffee’s better than yours.”

You guided him to the kitchen, sitting him down on one the bar stools. Joel watched you, his silence contrasting with the loud thoughts swirling in his head.

“I’m so scared for her,” he finally admitted when you handed him his coffee mug. Your arms wrapped around his neck, you dropped a soft kiss on his shoulder for comfort. “You’re all I have and she’s growing so fucking fast and I…I don’t know if I’ll be able to protect her.“

“You will. You’re her dad and one of the best at that. I’ve never seen a father take such good care of his kid but you do. You do a fantastic job, honey. Maybe I don’t show enough appreciation but you can be proud of yourself, Joel, I know I am.”

You kissed his forehead, bringing him closer. Joel let his head rest on your chest, clutching at your waist. “Thank you, darlin’”

yeah denial is my middle name how did you guess?

If it wasn't midnight I would come swinging left and right for you. But I will let you have this. I sure as hell hope you are a writer because this is incredible. 🥲

Uhh... all I can think about now is Joel watching over Sarah all day long after an nightmare like that. He's jumpy and every sound that comes from her room makes him go still. Even it she's frowning at her dad every time he pulls her in for a hug.

"He's okay?", Sarah would ask you after dinner as you both are washing up the plates. You give her a puzzled look. "Is dad okay? He's been weird today", she looks out of the kitchen and into the living room. Eyes falling over how Joel is rubbing his palms over his thighs. "A tough night. Needs extra loving", you tell her after you glance at Joel yourself. You take a plate from Sarah's hands, "How about you go and give him a big cuddle?", you ask her softly but your words only make her frown more. "You sure everything is okay? He's not like sick...", you quickly shake your head, pulling her closer into your own embrace. "Parents have their fears. Crippling ones when it comes to their children. One day when you'll have a bub of your own you'll understand", you gently cup her face. Sarah bites the inside of her cheek holding herself from asking more questions as she walks towards the living room.

"Scoot over, grey fox", she nudges her father's leg, making Joel look up. "What?", "Come on, make room for me", Joel moves to the side and Sarah quickly jumps onto the sofa. Nuzzling into her father's side. Joel wraps a protective arm over her shoulders. Leaning in to press a loving kiss on her forehead. "You know that I love you right?", Sarah looks up at her dad, Joel only smiles, "I believe I love you just a little bit more, sunshine".

#joel miller x reader #i need to come up with an anon tag just for you

[wakanda-nonsense-is-this]

Ghost of Us — Chapter 5

Master page <last next>

This is the sequel to my book Ghost of You. Go check it out before reading this one.

Pietro Maximoff x fem! Mutant!reader

Warnings: The usual

Word Count: 1.9K

If you want to be added to the tag list, let me know :)

Pietro’s P.O.V

A grunt escaped my lips as a sharp pain shot through my ribs. Immediately, my eyes opened as I lay on the ground. It took my eyes a moment to adjust to the surrounding darkness. And once they did, I grew more confused.

What the hell happened?

My surrounding became clearer the more aware I became. The scent of pines reached my nose. The grass and dirt under my legs as I slowly sat down. The flutter memory of sweet lips on m-

The moment that thought entered my mind, I became painfully aware of the absence of warmth her closeness provided me as we fell from the sky. I scanned my surrounding but found no trace of her. Too fast, and too early, I stood up, but the moment my legs straightened under me, they gave up. Quickly, I took a hold of the nearest tree. I took a deep breath as the dizziness left my body.

I looked down at myself and was not surprised to find myself bleeding through m shirt. I shrugged nonchalantly.

It would heal.

But she wouldn't, something whispered at the back of my mind, and worry swallowed me whole. She could be hurt. No, she could be dead.

Alarms flared in my mind. Ignoring the pain in my leg, I gave one step then another until I was running the fastest I could with blood running down my thigh from something that had stabbed the flesh.

Every second that passed without seeing her, conjured images of her lifeless body laying in my arms. The images were strangely familiar and made my heart ache.

She had to be somewhere around. But she wasn't. My breaths became erratics as panic flooded my system. She wasn't here.

I put my hands on my knees and took a deep breath. Panicking wouldn't help me find her, but fuck, if the thought of losing her made my insides twist painfully. After a painful deep breath, I straightened and made to move, but the sound of branches snapping above my head made me halt.

I looked up and there she was, hanging like a damn doll from the highest point, the only thing keeping her afloat being the fabric of her shirt stuck in the branches. I felt my heart stop beating for a second as I couldn't discern from where I was if she was still breathing.

With shaky feet, I started climbing. My leg was in vigorous pain, but at least it had stopped bleeding. The higher I got, the less I could feel my leg, but that didn't stop me.

Nothing would.

Not again.

I immediately grew confused, where did that come from?

I shook my head to clear my thought. It didn't matter, I had a mission, and couldn't get distracted over concussion thoughts.

When I finally reached her, it was like being punched in the lungs. Her soft hair was coated with blood that ran down her face and chest. Bruises and scratches adorned her ghostly pale skin. A big patch of blood on her shirt caught my attention, I couldn't see the wound, but in the way it wouldn't stop leaking blood, I knew it had to be serious.

I couldn't distinguish if the movement of her chest was the breeze or her breathing, and that terrified me. As fast as I could, I crawled along the bough of the three to get as close to her as possible. I placed my hands around her waist and slowly tugged her towards me. The branches holding her uptight released her, and before she could fall, I pulled her ice-cold limp body to my chest. I didn't have time to check if she was alive, it was getting dark, and I needed to find help as fast as possible. Or that's what I convinced myself of because I knew if she was dead, I wouldn't survive it.

With her safely secured in my arms, I descended as fast as I could, avoiding making sudden movements that could worsen her wounds.

Once on the ground, I repositioned her body, one arm behind her knees and the other behind her shoulders, so I could move faster, and keep an eye on her.

I never had an issue with my healing, it was mostly fast, but it did take some time, something I didn't have right now. My leg was fucked, and I couldn't run, so I walked, and sprinted for as long as I could manage.

Darkness surrounded us as the sun faded away, bringing coldness in its absence. I kept walking, I didn't know where, I just walked. Seconds turned into minutes, and minutes into hours. We were lost, and she was hurt, and I couldn't do anything for her more than the stupid tourniquet I made a while ago.

At this point, my leg was completely useless. I knew a little rest would heal it enough, but there was no time. I was afraid time had already run out, and that the girl in my arms was anything more than a body.

It was so dark I didn't see the void in front of us. Grunts escaped my lips as we rolled downhill. I tightened my arms around my girl and didn't let go. I tried to slow us down by gripping onto something, we were going too fast to be able to make out anything but the pain of our descent.

Before I knew it, we reached the bottom. For a moment, I just lay there. My ears were ringing and my head hurt. I must have hit it with something.

A tiny whine woke me up from my disoriented state. I held my breath and waited. The body over me stirred, and a painful moan escaped her lips.

My body protested as I sat down, avoiding moving her as much as I could. Slowly, I moved her battered body, so she was resting in my lap. With delicacy, I didn't know I possessed, I cupped her face. The moonlight allowed me enough light to see her gorgeous eyes slowly peel open.

Y/n's P.O.V

Back when I was in the asylum, darkness would be the first and last thing I would see. I guess, in a way, it was a form of torture. One they knew worked wonders on me, especially before they did procedures on me.

I didn't know it then. They feared me. They were so scared they didn't dare touch me before chaining me in the dark, because they knew what the darkness did to me. They made me weak so they could torture me. The warm-up, I think they would call it.

I have to say, they really knew what they were doing. Leaving me in complete darkness for hours before they came to fetch me, gave my mind millions of possibilities to imagine what they would do to me next. Not knowing what they were going to do to me, made everything worse. Torturing me wasn't enough, they had to break me.

And they did, for many years they succeeded. But they never foresaw the variable that is called Pietro. I wish I could say he mended me and put me back together, but that would be a lie. You couldn't mend something that would break every day. So no, he didn't fix me, but he didn't have to, because he did something better. Pietro Maximoff gave me something to look forward to every day. So when he left, my world collapsed, and it was like i never left that place to begin with.

So when I opened my eyes to complete darkness being held by him, I knew I had to be dreaming, because Pietro Maximoff was no longer mine.

I was sprawled in his lap, his hand cupping my cheek as he absently caressed my skin. I tried to sit down, but the sharp pain that shot through my ribs and stomach made me cry out in pain and panic. I hadn't realized when I first woke up, but I was now acutely aware of my wounds. A sob left my lips, as the skin around my wound stretched.

“It's okay. I've got you” Pietro croaked, his other hand stroking my hair as he whispered sweet nothings in my ear.

“It hurts, Piet.”

“I know, scumpul meu. I know” His hold on me tightened as he rocked us back and forth. It really is bittersweet, that even after everything we've gone through, the only time he can hold me is when I'm on the brink of death.

“We really need to stop meeting like this” I humorlessly laughed. I really hated this, and after all I've gone through, I desperately needed a break. Wong would have a field day hearing this story, I couldn't wait to tell him all bout Pietro again. He might act uninterested, but he loved the gossip I brought to the sanctum. I smiled at the thought. God, I missed them so much.

“No, no, stay awake” I felt his finger brushing through my hair. I hadn't even realized I had closed them. “Please don't die on me” He begged, his mouth on my forehead. I was half passed out, but I couldn't help the snort that left me. If only he knew.

“Oh, believe me, this is not the way I'll die” I assured him, just before consciousness slipped through my fingers.

Pietro's P.O.V

“FUCK! No, no, wake up” I could hear the panic in my voice, but I didn't care. My hands were shaking so much, it would've been impossible to check her pulse. I rapidly lowered my head to her chest and when I heard her heartbeat, I almost fainted with relief. Without thinking, I gathered her in my arms and simply hugged her for what felt like hours.

This was the first time in the day when I knew she was alive. She was badly hurt and lost way too much blood, but she was alive.

The adrenaline wore off ages ago, but out of nowhere, energy surged through my body. The pain was still there, but it was more manageable than it had ever been. I have no idea what just happened, but it didn't matter.

With her delicate body safely tucked in my arms, I stood up and walked as fast as I could without wounding her any further. Kilometers of trees and green surrounded us, making me lose hope that I could find a place where she could rest. I looked down at my arms and noted her skin had gotten paler, and she had started shivering. I brought her closer to my chest in hopes she would absorb some of my heat.

I really had no idea where I was going, and I needed to figure it out now. Earlier I can swear I saw some birds flying north, if we follow that route, maybe we-

I stopped in my tracks and looked at my surroundings. We were the only people here, I was sure of that, but deep down I knew there was someone with us. Out of nowhere, an icy feeling overcame me, it was weird, like cold water. I absentmindedly remembered someone describing the feeling as 'having a bucket filled with ice thrown over your head'. I shook my head. I was getting paranoid.

I resumed my walking, but suddenly, as if being pulled by a rope, I headed west. I had no reason to head that way, but call it desperation or familiarity, I went with my instinct. And just when I thought I was wrong, I made a turn between some thick logs, and a wood cabin appeared in front of my eyes.

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#pietro maximoff #pietro fanfiction #pietro maximoff x reader #pietro maximoff imagine #pietro maximoff x oc #pietro maximoff x y/n #pietro maximoff x you #pietro maximoff fanfiction #bucky barnes x reader #stever rogers x reader #avengers x reader #tony stark x stark!reader #pietro x reader

[spikeface]

the terror you long to look at

Written for @teenwolf-meta’s Meta May Monday theme: Ties. 

Despite my frustration with the show’s handling of the anuk-ite’s mythology, I really liked the idea that, in the finale, it lures people into looking at it by becoming someone they long to see--but, at the same time, because the anuk-ite is a fear monster, someone they’re terrified of. I was frustrated, however, by the fact that the shape it took was either never explicit, or depended on who was doing a cameo for the finale. Here would be my picks for what the anuk-ite would look like, for the people who had to face it, if casting and time weren’t an issue:

Peter Hale would see Laura Hale. I didn’t dislike that the monster took the form of Malia, for Peter. She’s definitely someone he longs to see, and I’d interpret the fear aspect as either shame for when he’d hurt her or her loved ones, or simply fear of the fact that she sees through him. I think it would have meant a lot, however, if they’d shown explicitly that he misses Laura, and is afraid to face the fact that he murdered her even as he longs to see her. His murder of her starts the entire story, and it would have been an interesting way to incorporate it into the show’s finale.

Malia Tate would see Kylie Tate. We don’t actually know what form the anuk-ite took for her, which makes me mad, because it would have been such a good time to explore her grief for Kylie. One of the first things we learn about Malia is that she’s haunted by her sister’s death most of all, and is still, in some way, looking out for her. No matter how much time passes, she’s always going to.

Jackson Whittemore would see Matt Daehler. This one’s a little shaky because s2 ends with Jackson very clearly growing out of the headspace that made him a kanima, and literally growing away from it. But 1) they made him part-kanima again in the finale so I’ve decided that means he’s still got Baggage and 2) even if he moved on from being the kanima in general, Jackson never got to confront Matt specifically. Matt--this guy he had this intense and toxic relationship with, who represented everything the deepest part of him wanted--just disappeared from his life, only to be found dead in water Jackson could have saved him from. I think Jackson is terrified of somehow running into Matt again. I think he’s even more terrified of the idea that, on some level, he’d be happy to see him.

Ethan would see Aiden. How could he not? Of course he longs to see his brother, his literal other half and the one who felt what he felt all his life, whose life Ethan felt in turn. At the same time, we see in both 3a and 3b that Aiden’s passion for violence disquiets Ethan, even though he knows he’s protected by it, and in Motel California, Aiden also represents everything Ethan most fears, what he’d kill himself to escape. 

Derek Hale would see Paige Krasikeva. I loved that we got a cameo from Haley Webb, but I maintain that Jennifer was the weakest choice for Derek. It’s not that I don’t think memories of her haunt him, but Derek already confronted Jennifer—multiple times, and in ways that literally had to do with “seeing” her. I definitely don’t think he longs to see her the way he’d long to see Paige, the girl he was manipulated into forcing the bite on—a mistake we know still haunts him. He was rattled to lose even the blue eyes that represent his guilt about her death. I think that even now, his longing to see her would frighten him, since his desire for her once led to her death.

Scott McCall would see his own murdered body. Ok, stay with me on this one! I loved that they did a cameo with the nogitsune wearing Stiles’ body, and I think that ranks near the top of Scott’s fears, but I don’t think he’d be tempted to look at him. Conversely, I think he’d long to look at Allison, but I don’t think that desire would terrify him.

I think the desire that most terrifies Scott is the one for his own death. Scott has struggled with suicidal urges since at least 3a, and Tyler Posey has discussed how, by the time Scott’s murdered in s5, he was “ready to die.” Scott’s death is the end of the relentless struggle his life has been since he was bitten, freedom from all of his perceived failures that haunt him--like the nogitsune taking Stiles’ body, like Allison’s death. It would be so fitting for him to confront that in the library, where he was originally murdered--where his murdered body once lay on the ground, the one part of himself he’ll never be able to see. Unless he looks now. 

It would also fit really well with @daughterofluthien’s excellent meta about the meaning of Scott’s self-blinding in the finale. If the anuk-ite represents Scott’s desire to die, then the mutilation represents, ironically, his rejection of that desire, and would foreshadow his similar rejection of the lure of death in the movie, when he growls at the nogitsune: “I’m not ready to die.”

#teen wolf #peter hale #malia tate #jackson whittemore #derek hale #scott mccall #teen wolf meta #twmeta #twmetamay

[unabashednightmarepizza]

𝑊𝑒 𝐶𝑜𝑢𝑙𝑑 𝐺𝑒𝑡 𝐴𝑙𝑜𝑛𝑔

A/N: If anyone's wondering the requests are open for tlou and THANK YOU FOR THE LOVE YOU SHOWED TO THE FIRST CHAPTER!

Series Masterlist | Main Masterlist

The late night breeze that used to calm you now was a distant memory, its wind only causing painful memories to resurface. That night, after your talk with Ellie, where you told her about your life before and Joel heard every single one of it, sleep didn’t find you for many nights. Many possible ends of how the man would think of you now, how he would act with you, occupied your mind so much that you sat up with an agitated groan and kick your boots away in the end.

Your head was throbbing because of how much thinking you did since that day, after shoving Joel away from you and begging Maria to go on a patrol outside the city which she reluctantly said okay and made you swear to be careful. Tommy saw how you talked hurriedly with shaky eyes, thinking that Joel did something more and getting ready to give him a piece of his mind when you stopped him with a soft smile, telling him that he now knew everything and that you needed some time before facing the gruff man.

“Oh...I’m sorry, Y/N.” He uttered softly with understanding eyes, knowing... witnessing what you had to do while rubbing your arms softly while you shrugged him off and went out with the Gear. “It’s fine, Tommy. Don’t strain your relationship with your brother just because of me... He didn’t do anything wrong.”

The moonlight that creeked inside your room that was once a peaceful place to rest, was now a place covered in broken glasses that showed your memories. And amidst the shower of sudden memories of the time when you saw Joel right in front of you, shock, guilt, and care being on the face of the grumpy man who tried to kill you, who insulted you non-stop, you cursed and threw your body on the creaking bed with a heave.

Cursing of the way you were thinking of the man.

The sudden thoughts you suddenly started to have about the man, after seeing him, had terrified you. Surely, he was a good looking man, strong enough and even if he acted all rough and harsh, he had a good heart. I can’t believe I’m getting worked up over a man after so many years, you thought, disbelief evident even in your inner voice. Maybe it wasn’t your fault entirely, after all you didn’t have a normal teenagehood where people like you experienced crushes and falling in love, in a normal safe place.

In here, there was no such thing.

Though you refused to admit to yourself that the man slowly grew in you, even taking a liking to his sassy answers, it was wrong... You were in an apocalyptic world, where people killed to survive... Thinking of a man...

But... it didn’t hurt to imagine, right?

“Nope, that can’t go like this... I need to clear my head and focus on my task.” You said, giving up on the sweet sleep and got up to wear the boots you kicked earlier, taking your blade and gun just in case. Making your way down the ladders of your home and out the house you had, there was still the thoughts of Joel and how... shocked and crestfallen he looked, in his own way, when he heard your story.

“Nice, now that I’m starting to have thoughts about a man I just met who heard all of my trauma... I also need to apologize to him.” You groaned tiredly, angry, but not at Joel or anyone.

To yourself.

It wasn’t your place to question who he had lost, how much pain he saw, and clearly somewhat, reminding him of his daughter by that sentence you said to him before getting to the car to escort them here.

At least I got to save people, when you couldn’t save any...

In your defence, you totally didn’t have any idea of him having a child. Had Tommy not come to you before throwing your gear on the backside of the car and explaining what happened to Joel hurriedly begore you said something more, your heart broke in your chest and froze on the driver’s seat, not expecting that. Had it been anyone else, you wouldn’t show your sympathy and how much it affected you but to learn that she was barely 12 and the he lost her right in front of his eyes just because of a policeman...

A scoff left your mouth, the bitter taste of what some of them who were unmerciful did to the people. That’s what you meant when you told Ellie that the world was even cruel to people when there were “laws”, and when it also went down, it trully showed the true nature of humans. You weren’t a stranger to their animosity, experiencing first-hsnd how it was...

Both in the modern world, and the one you had now.

“As someone careful, you are not really aware of your surroundings huh?”

At the deep, raspy vouce behind you, you didn’t hesitate to bring your gun up and point at whoever was behind you, only to see Joel in some pajamas and a shirt with messy hair, obviously tousled because of either he turned around on his bed or couldn’t sleep just like you. “Hey, hey, it's me! Calm down a bit, will ya?”

“In a shithole like this? Not a chance, Miller...” you said with a thundering heart that slowly calmed down, and put the gun to its original place. Joel’s eyes watched you with a steadiness you only saw on killer’s face, a face you once wore, but then unexpectedly, he gave a small smile to you.

You, who tried to kill him and basically threatened him.

“You’re right, Y/L/N but I can see that you still have some enthusiasm to live.” He said, pointing to the gun between your hand and you shrugged before putting it away.

“I’m a soldier now, I have a duty. And it’s to protect and save as many people as possible... If you call this enthusiasm, I wonder yours.”

The familiar words he remembered Tess saying before she sacrificed herself resurfaced and for a second, that same hard look came back. At that time, he swore he would change and never let something like that happen to anyone, leaving them to kill their own souls just for the sake of others. Her death was something unexpected, something he just... didn’t see coming. The face she did when she said that she didn’t expect him to return the feelings she had and how she screamed at him to go and take Ellie to safety...

It left a deep, painful scar on him.

But of course, you didn’t know any of these.

You wondered what you did this time when his eyes bore into yours and he walked up to you. You slightly panicked when he started to get closer to you, mind running all over the place to find something to say.

Should I apologize now? Or offer something to drink? No, am I pervert to do that? It never ended well in all the movies I watched, oh shit he is coming closer! Come on think some-

“You, uh... You couldn’t sleep too?” your hesitant voice and awkward smile stopped him right before you and he couldn’t help the amused smile creeping up on his face at seeing the ruthless woman he had first seen became an unsettled teen, and his mind played the time when you exploded and killed all the Clickers and the humans which made impression awake in him, he hummed to your question and went along with your game where you tried to avoid the topic at hand and awkwardly scratched his neck, feeling like a teenager all so suddenly with being close to you.

“Yeah, it’s the bed I guess... And the house.”

“Is something wrong? I thought Maria and Tommy gave you one with the greatest-“

“It’s not that... It’s more about me not being used to have a constant place to live for so long.” You hummed in approval, understanding where he was coming since you lived like that for a long time. It surely took a ling time for you to actually accept having a home, and even then, you still barely stayed there, thinking that it couldn’t belong to you.

But Maria was a scary woman.

Eyeing the bar at the end of that alley, which was still open for some reasons, you pinted there with your hand while your hands stayed inside your pockets. “Then, may I offer you a beer? As a token, you know?”

“I don’t know, kid-“

“Stop calling me that and besides, I was going there anyways. It’s good whenever I can’t sleep...” and besides maybe, we can talk some more, especially after that eavesdropping, you wanted to add but held your tongue back and waited for his answer.

And now, here you two were, in the same bar that would always stay open with beers in hand, casually talking as if you two had been friends for a long time. He looks much lovely like this, you thought while surpassing a smile at one of his stories. Laughing suits him more than that grumpy scowl-

“Cat got your tongue? You got quiet suddenly.” He said after gulping down the last dip and turned to you. You smiled and shook your head, hands starting to get sweaty.

“No, of course not... I was just thinking, about the past, you know? It all reminds me of the days I sued to hang out with my friends.”

“And here you are stuck with an old-man like me.” Joel chuckled under his breath, not disturbed in the slightest but still a small part of him was pouting at how the years passed so fast. All those cruel years, alone, scared and harsh...

And without...Sarah.

Your heart rate picked up at the sound and how attractive it sounded, mentally kicking yourself and blaming the alcohol when you spoke. “I wasn’t going to say that Joel but rather how I never imagined myself doing it with another one years later, in an apocalypse.”

If Joel had the littlest of mind to stop himself from blushing and getting shy, he would have done that when your teasing eyes found his and he realized just how teasing and funny you were, how warm you were...

How pretty you were.

But of course, he hid his inner thoughts behind an awkward cough, eyes darting away from yours which made him seem... Cute.

“ Didn’t know you considered us friends...” he pointed the glass to you accusingly, slighty tipsy but not enough to stop his brain function, shoxked that after what he said and did, you considered him to be of the town.

Friends, he thought bitterly. Even before all this shit, I didn’t have one...

To be honest, you were surprised of yourself too. Never in a million years would you have thought that you would be considering someone, a man, as your friend and even get confortable enough to drink with him. The world before outbreak was shit, the most trusted one could turn their back to you-and they still did- There was no guarantee that they wouldn’t drug you, lie to you, ruin you...

But still, humans always found something in another one to get close to. Humans are social creatures, darling. We can’t do much without the support of another...

You shrugged you shoulders, the tension slowly pouring down and away from your shoulders. “ Well, surprise then because I did... I know I have been an ass to you but you can’t really blame me after... you know...” you mumbled the last part, unsure if it was a good thing to....

And just like that, the awkwardness you two threw out the window came back, which answered your worries. Joel was reminded of his previous actions, and though there was guilt, there was also the sight of you all angry, marching up to him with your sword pointing to him.

A sight that enamored him, trully.

Now, he could feel the way his blush actually reached down to his neck and he cursed at his intrusive thoughts while you raised a brow at him, placing your glass down. You knew, after Tommy cornering you, that his daughter was killed by a police, shot through her abdomen and died between her father’s arms. You, never even if you tried, could understand the pain he went through. A father watching his child die before him was so much to bear and you knew that there was a high chance of him blowing on you if you said anything about it.

But unknowingly, you also ridiculed her death, and owed an apology to the man next to you.

And Joel, too, owed an apology after calling you a brat who was good for nothing and thought of herself highly who killed people unmercilessly.

“I’m sorry...” you both apologized at the same time, hearts almost feeling the way the other felt  and you couldn’t help the snort that left you while he chuckled genuinely. The sides of his eyes crinkled and you stared at them for so long and admired his smile that suited him, he did the same to you. He realized you didn’t show much emotion, but you were strong.

Not just mentally but physically.

He admired how you stood your ground. Sure and authoritative, making even someone like him listen to your commands and words. But a part of him envied you for moving on from what happened without not getting yourself into any of the things he did.

Or maybe you did, but didn’t say it to anyone.... Which was apparently the case, now that he heard your story.

He wondered how your life had been before this. You must be around 40 something according to your story and still, you looked as young as any other young adult, probably a result of always running and training. The amount of dedication you had, in your life and goal, amazed him and made guilt reappear at the words he had spitted in fit of rage.

He never liked people acting like they knew him the best, and in exchange, he had done the exact same to you, someone who saved them even when you didn’t have to.

He remembered his talk with Tommy, after watching you clean one of the terrain vehicles with a hard glare and tight lips after getting them back here safely,he asked Tommy what was your deal.

Why you looked so stern but always helped people when you didn’t like them so much.

“She may not like people, arrogant ones, especially,” he said, scoffing at his obvious interest and regret for assuming things and continued while he helped around one of the residents in the community. “But just so you know, she has the biggest heart in here. And the brains too. If Maria is the political kinda smart, she is the military-kinda-smart. If all these people are alive and well, living here, it’s thanks to her. Including you, Joel.”

Joel raised a brow at his brother’s protective side for you, curious what was the reason, his curiousity peaked even more at his brother’s last words before disappearing. “And Joel? A suggestion from me, she doesn’t like to be told what to do either. Liars too, so if you want to reconsile and apologize... Be genuine, or else she would cut your dick off.”

He probably wouldn’t do that, had he not started to look for Ellie and hear you tell her your story. Hearing you went through almost the same shit as him, and lost more than him and still, you found a way to keep going, made him angry at himself.

Angry because he couldn’t do that for the longest time, and still wasn’t able to, and because he saw his own pain worse than the others’.

He is not the only one who lost someone dear, your voice rang inside his mind and his hands clenched nervously around his glass. He never had to do that, any of it...

Apologizing.

His mind told him that he had to, for he already mistreated you enough. His heart stubbornly believed that he didn’t do anything wrong and behaved just like anyone who had seen another human after such a long time would have.

It has been days, you fucker, you know you have to!

He groaned at the inner voice screaming at him and rubbed his eyes harshly, mind and heart in a dilemna. His hand lingered there, and you watched the internal battle he had with curious and keen eyes. The moonlight that shone on half of his face was able to make you see what he was feeling. A war of mind and heart, indeed...

Lips almost up in a scowl, worry lines decorated his forehead and the veins on his arms bulged as if he was squeezing something really hard made you gulp and a feeling you weren’t used to feeling erupted in you.

Fear and... something more human...

Liking.

It was no lie that Joel was a good-looking man, skillful enough to survive for so long and though he had a shit way of showing his care behind that rough exterior, his eyes still betrayed him. You were no blind to the obvious care Ellie and Joel had for each other, the man protecting the girl as if his life depended on it made you smile,a sign of the ghost of the woman you were, and it made you trust him, take a liking towards him.

Trust was so hard to find these days, you thought while rubbing your arm nervously, contemplating whether to leave or take a step to him. For so long, you never trusted anyone. You survived on your own and you were fine, and when you did, that person had to betray you with one secret you had and gave you to the Fireflies.

You were lucky that Tommy was there and saw how shitty the humans had become, saved you and brought you here or else, you would have been dead as well.

Ever since then, he tried to get you out of your shell little by little, alongside with Maria. They always told you to never put yourself in danger for others, that you were more than a weapon and had to rest and though it was hard to do so, you slowly did. But never forgot what trusting someone brought you...

The darker side of your story that you didn’t tell Ellie.

But...

Joel opened his eye at feeling your smaller hands touch his arm that held the bridge of his nose and his breath got caught, heart beated a little bit faster at the look you gave him. It was two things that he hadn’t had the luxury of having for fifty years: Understanding and sympathy.

“It’s okay, Joel... These days have been hard for you, I understand. I need to go to my patrol anyways, so if you wish, you and Ellie can come and sleep in my house until we fix everything with yours tomorrow with Tommy.”

She never offers her help so outly, Tommy words again rang in his mind and for a second he thought Tommy lied to him because here you were, standing before the sinner of a man he was, looking like an angel even with the tired eyes you had, offering him your help. He was no amateur, he was aware that many people held their distance their own walls to protect themselves and neither he nor you were an exception. He saw how you reacted when someone clashed your walls, how you protected it like a soldier protecting his country.

So you can imagine how it was to see you slowly lower your walls around him, though hesitantly. Had you not done that, you wouldn’t be standing close to him here, in the middle of the road when no one was around, you skin touching his, and invite him for a drink. And for some reasons, that brought a happiness to him. One that made him open his eyes trully and that was when his thoughts started to linger on you, rather than your personality.

You were... beautiful.

That single thought was enough to make him completely stop, and slowly look down to your innocent eyes and the smile you wore whenever you saw something you liked. Fuck, he couldn’t help but curse. First he did the unimaginable and apologized to someone and now just days later, he was fancying that someone. He felt like a pervert, with you being at least 15 years younger than him but...

It was just pure attraction... right?

Not because he admired you...

While he was deep in his thoughts, of course he didn’t realize you were getting restless and worried that you did something wrong by touching him. You remembered how it used to bring comfort to your sisters and friends and thought it would help.

The awkwardness between you two killed each other. Joel didn’t know what to say after saying something he never saw himself actually uttering, and you never expected to get close to the man so suddenly. It had been like a week since they came and you didn’t want to be seen desperate for a man so much so that you tried to seduce one you saw on the road after denying everyone’s advances to you.

And besides... None of you spoke again after apologizing at the same time. It was expected from him, he was bad with words and mostly grunted in answer, fortunately, it was you who spoke first.

“Why the heck are you apologizing? I’m the one who has been a dick to you when you were about be sadwiched between fuckers who can’t even throw a decent fist.” You said, slowly retreating your hand back from his arm, which he already missed having from the warmth it gave, and chuckled to your answer. It was true that they were shit at fighting but the way you said it oh-so-knowingly reminded him of how Tommy and Sarah would roast him.

No wonder you and Ellie get along well...

“We both have been dicks to each other, no? And I know you don’t have a patrol to do... If I made you uncomfortable just say-“

“You didn’t, Joel and God, stop analyzing me... How are you so good at this?”

He chuckled and leaned back on his chair, feeling at ease after a long time and relaxed with a nice stretch. “I think it’s a dad thing... And why did you apologize to me? I was the one who insulted you.”

Yep, here we go...

You took a deep breath, preparing yourself for the storm to come and spat out what has been bugging you. “I apologized because I didn’t know you also lost someone dear... that you lost your daughter.”

Joel’s eyes hardened, jaw clenched at the mere mention of Sarah. He never expected you to know about her, probably a result of Tommy telling about him to you, and even bring the mention of her so suddenly. He felt the nauseous feeling, hus mouth completely drying and suddenly he slammed a hand and tried to move past your sitting form, wanting to get away, all thoughts about being nice temporarily leaving his mind. “I don’t need an apology and don’t act and look at me like you understand-“

“I can never understand loosing a child, Joel... I have never been a mother, or anything close to that title. But I know how it feels like to watch blood of your blood die before you, unable to help because you are just so terrified to see the death close to you when you always thought that you would be the first one to go.”

Joel was startled at your weak voice, so much so that he stopped right before getting out, his anger leaving his body and making him turn back to you, eyeing you for a while. Now that he, once again, set his anger aside, he just remembered everything he worked hard for.

How hard he worked for Sarah...

How he worked hard to survive...

How he worked hard to save Tess...

How he worked hard to find the courage to apologize...

And he didn’t achieve any of it.

“I... fuck, I’m sorry Y/N. It wasn’t my intention-“ he exclaimed, ashamed and sad at how his anger took over him and made him forget about your own fair shair of trauma.

“It’s fine... I understand.” You mumbled and finished the rest of your beer, sitting there contemplating whether you shoul go or not. You lied to yourself that it didn’t affect you, that it was just as hard for you to talk about your family as it was hard for him, but Joel was a good observant and he saw you biting down on your lip hard, drawing blood. He grunted angrily at himself, brushing his hair back and walked back to sit next to you defeatedly.

You watched how the stern man slowly crumbled, how his eyes slowly had tears and how he brought his left hand in front of him to look at his watch. You supposed it was a gift from his daughter, and felt like throwing up at reminding him of the pain.

But, if there was one thing you remembered from your previous life in modern world, it was to keep going talking about the pain.

He already reminisced about her and the pain had already resurfaced, it was best to let him grieve openly.

“Was that a gift from her?” you pointed to the watch with your head, wanting to learn who he was before this ans seeing if you trully were alike. He chuckled under his breath, amused that it was obvious that the watch was picked by a female and he was sure that Sarah would have made fun of him.

“Yeah... Feels stupid how even after years, I can’t let go of her.”

“You don’t have to, Joel. I’m sure that she is very proud of you...” you comforted him, rubbing his shoulder and he turned his head at you with a broken look. It had been so long that he felt the comfort of another one, since he talked about that night and he welcomed your warm hands and soft look with a longing.

Even if he didn’t deserve it.

“You don’t know the things I did, kid...” The only answer you gave was a knowing smile. “ Trust me, Joel, you weren’t the only one who did unethical things to survive. And you are also not the only one who couldn’t let go of the past.”

He watched you take out a little box from your pocket hesitantly and set in on the table, opening it to reveal different kinds of stones and necklaces inside. He tilted his head curiously at you, not understanding why you were opening up to him when you spoke with a far-away look. “My sisters were a bunch of little monsters, always jumping around and finding extraordinary things. Their hyper fixations were necklaces and stones and... they used to collect them to put in here. It’s the one thing I can’t let go...”

“Seems like they had a good eye catching shiny things.” He hoped his attempt at joking wouldn’t end up bad, and he sighed in relief when a snort left you and you turned your eyes to look at him. The moonlight now shone on his face, contrasting with the warm hues of the lightning inside the bar, and the way he looked at you as if you two were the center of the world made butterflies erupt in you, eyes shyly looking down on the box while a flustered smile broke out on your face.

“It seems your daughter also has a sense of fashion, seems like she was a daddy’s girl...” he chuckled at your flustered face and looked down on the wrist watch, remembering his last moments with Sarah and feeling touched at you referring to her “in the present tense” as if she was still there.

And maybe she was. She always talked about how people’s soul would accompany their loved ones to comfort them and he desperately hoped that it was true, even though he always made fun of her always watching dramatic movies.

Because God knew, he needed it.

He couldn’t help but think that she would have liked you, and always hang around you much like Ellie. He wished she was there, he wished your sisters were there too...

He wished none of this happened.

But now, in the middle of a dying world, in a bar, he thought that maybe, that was God’s way of giving him a kind of peace.

A second chance...

A way to redeem himself and finally make amends. He looked at you, with his eyes filled with a new determination. Though it was fast, trusting you with all of his being, he saw how good of a heart you had. How much you sacrificed to be here.

I swear, you will not be one of those I lost...

“If that’s okay... What's her name?”

And now, looking at the way you carefully chose your words while talking to him, bringing him something else to drink, he knew that maybe, he could get along with you...

Friends, as Ellie called it.

“It was Sarah, here.”

And while you two spent the rest of the night drinking and telling each other of your pasts, you supposed that even in the most dire terms, humans would always be able to live, as long as they held hope and what made them humans.

Love and care.

Trust...

Hope...

You two’s story didn’t start good maybe, both of you trying to kill the other, but looking at the gruff man trusting you with his most important secret and talking fondly of Sarah and even including your sisters, you realized that you both were just two broken souls trying to heal themselves.

He, with Ellie, and you, with Adelaine.

And who knew maybe, by some chance, you could get along with him too. Here, in Jackson, was peaceful and quiet and it was time to build a safe place amongst all the chaos going on outside...

In rememberance for those who you both lost on the way.

But Jackson was a quiet place in an apocalyptic world, where there were eyes that watched you and waited for a chance to attack.

Not that you would know...

#joel miller imagine #joel miller x you #joel miller x reader #tlou imagine #tlou x you #tlou x reader #the last of us x reader #the last of us imagine #the last of us #tlou series

[v-anrouge]

twirling my hair kicking my feet. body worship with rook?? to preface this body worship isn't inherently sexual in my eyes. it's just ahsgauhd you know that "always an angel never a god" audio? he's also the artist, never the muse. always the observer, never the observed. always the hunter, never the quarry. but have you seen him? god, how he wants, so desperately, to be the prey at someone's hands.

perhaps being in the spotlight would terrify him right down to the bone-- and he loves it, the thrill of being petrified, overwhelmed, and consumed by the enormity of his desire.

he'd bare his throat to you should you so ask, and let you do as you please with him. you'd see the muscles strain and pull under his skin like it's the deepest, darkest parts of him trying to break free from the fleshy veneer and reach you. that Adam's Apple bobbing with each shaky breath? take a bite out of it. kiss it, sink your teeth into it, break it, lick it. do whatever you want with him! he'd feel your reverence for him with each second you look upon his pathetic state so whatever it is, just don't ever look away from him. his skin crawls with longing when you shoot him that half-lidded stare. he'd love if you dangle the threat of brutal immolation right above his head, send the fear pumping through his veins, only to end up mumbling praise into his skin. he's so gorgeous when he trembles underneath you, isn't he? he'd agree. do that again!

just.... worshipping his neck. kissing all over it while roughly massaging his windpipe-- just narrowly fulfilling his long-standing desire for it to be ripped out. admire the strain of tendons and the freckles that kiss his skin while he gasps, watching you with eager, verdant eyes. so beautiful, so radiant, so gorgeous. the more you worship and praise the rest of his body with the subtle promise of violent desire behind your lips, the more he goes off into the deep end.

kissing his chest, his shoulders, his arms, his hips, his thighs, his calves-- he wouldn't even able to control himself if you continue! poor boy shakes like a leaf. so unused to being admired that he has to be reminded over and over that you're the one praising his body here, not the other way around. but he can't help it! your lips pressing to his belly call for all the eulogies he can muster in his sorry state, with how they pucker and graze him like an arrow. but he'll promptly shut up if you tell him to, or if you whisper another compliment so low he has to strain to hear it-- and his skin immediately flushes when he does.

hrngrhgh i am not immune to muscular men propaganda. i want to cup his hips so bad and press chaste kisses on them all along the line that disappears into his pants. whisper my affections for him with my mouth against the back of his ear. sit the man on my lap whilst i commit his body to memory because he's so worth it, isn't he? he's not meant to sit on the sidelines forever! someone has to love him and by God i am his strongest soldier. wanna learn everything about anatomy through him, and have him be my muse. grnrrghgh imagine how magnificent his back would look... i doubt half of this is body worship but i need to pen this guy my praise asap. give him some good loving like he's my gorgeous princess. im so insane about him it's not funny WHERE ARE ALL THE FICS OF HIM GETTING PRAISE RAGGGH

- c

ANONKPLWSEE WHAT THETUCK IM GONAN SCRWAM CRY HIT MY EHAD AGAINST THE WALL REPEATDLY WHAT RHW FUCK WYAYBTHW HELL IMAJSJFHDJR LLWASE HELLO??? THIS IS DRILLING INTO MY FUCING BRSIN ITS CHANGING ITS CHEKISTRY ICAN FEEK MY DNA FUCKIGN CHANGING MORPHING INTO A SECRET THING NO ONE HAS EVER SWEN BEFORE PLEASE IM ACTUALLY GOING INSANE OVWR THIS OM REALLY SORRY I CAN'T ADD ANYTHING TO THIS XUZ LIKE NOT THE RIGHT BLOG TO DO SO BUT SINCE THIS ASK ISNT NSFW PER SE ILL POST IT W A VERY SUGGESTIVE WARNING

#✎ ⇣‧₊˚ 【asks #ৎ୭ ⇣‧₊˚ 【stinks #♡ᭂ ⇣‧₊˚ 【 pome cult member #tw suggestive #cw suggestive

[honeybeezgobzzzzz]

𓅨 Dreamswept: Chapter Eight

Dreamswept: In which Dream’s imprisonment brings out his darker side. Y/N’s mother works for the Burgess’s as a nurse, and after stumbling across what is hidden beneath Fawny Rig’s mortars one summer, Y/N’s life will never be the same. A darkness has attached itself to her and no matter how long she is kept from the Endless in the basement, he has not forgotten her kindness and brief moments of comfort. No, he has not forgotten, and now he craves it. 

Warnings: Language.

To Note: Dark!Morpheus/Dream x Female!Reader, Inspired by 'Claiming His Queen' by @moonmaiden1996 (Go Read It!).

Word Count: ~2.1k

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You couldn’t get back to your room fast enough. The adrenaline from the dream you just had was still quite fresh in your body and you were flying. Dashing into your room, you grabbed your phone and scrambled to get it unlocked. Once it was, you hit Isabel’s speed dial and held your phone to your ear. You could feel yourself shaking as you waited for her to pick up. Sinking to the floor with your back pressed against your bed, you nearly let out a shaky cry of relief when she picked up. 

“Hey babes, so you remember that guy I told you about from Chesters? I might have asked him out on a date…” You sniffed and wiped your eyes. 

“Iz, I thought you said you weren’t going to date anyone anytime soon?” You croaked out, glad to have something else to focus on at that moment. 

“Well, yeah, but he seems so nice… but ignore that babes, you sound like your head’s in the toilet… what happened?” You almost aired out a half laugh, half sob. 

“So I tried not taking my meds, twice in a row, didn’t end well.” You whispered to her, pushing a hand over your hair. Isabel was quiet for a moment, then responded. 

“So when you say didn’t end well, are we talking about side effects, withdrawals, or something else?” She asked. You let out a pained sigh. 

“I’m having startlingly lucid dreams, Iz, and they are terrifying me.” You told her, your words just as shaky as your breathing. “Dreams aren’t real but these feel as real as you and I.” 

“Oh, Y/N/N, you’re having nightmares again? If you’re having nightmares, go right back on that medication. Don’t make yourself suffer.” You shook your head despite her not being able to see your action. 

“No, it’s— Izzy they aren’t nightmares, they’re— they’re dreams of a place I think I dreamed about when I was younger.” You softly explained, trying to wrap your mind around why the forest seemed oddly familiar. “But— but this time there is someone there, a man, and he knows me and claims that I belong to him and he’s angry that I’ve been gone and that he couldn’t find me and I have no idea who he is!” You focused on your breathing and tried to get in back in control once more. “What’s more, everyone here at Fawny Rig is acting like they wished I hadn’t come home. I don’t feel welcome here and my own mother is avoiding me. Did I make a mistake moving back?” 

“Okay, so your family are being major dicks to you after you’ve been gone for so long… we can talk about that later. Right now let’s focus on those dreams of yours… so you say that the place you dream of is familiar, but the man is not and is staking a claim, rude by the way, do you know what he wants?” 

“No,” You sniffed. “All he keeps talking about is how ‘they’ hid me from him and how I’m his because I sacrificed my blood for him. I made the mistake of mentioning Evan and he went off the rails at the idea that I was romantically involved with someone else and…” You trailed off, your mind instantly overtaken by the memory of rabid kisses, then you remembered the way he had touched you. “Oh my God, Iz, he kissed me because of that. Said that he was going to have to remind me of who I belonged to. Then he started touching me and I froze up and I didn’t stop him for some reason, and it felt— I don’t know what to do—“

“Y/N deep breaths, your hyperventilating again,” Isabel said, her voice soft and soothing. “Come on babes, give me slow, deep breaths.” You followed through with her words, taking slow breaths and sucking in air as deep as you could.

“I feel like I’m going crazy, Isabel but I refuse to go back on my meds,” You whispered to her, pushing your fingers into your face. “What kind of person dreams up a man who then proceeds to stake claims and kisses the hell out of you all the while feeling you up just to make sure you know that you belong to him?” 

“Hate to break it to you, babe, but plenty of women have sex dreams about hot men.”

“It was not a sex dream—“ You cut yourself off, your cheeks going hot when you realized that, yes, it pretty much was a sex dream since the man in your dreams had stroked you ever so tantalizingly, not to mention essentially finger fucking you to the point of being a floundering mess trapped against a tree trunk. “I’m scared that more will happen and I do not feel comfortable handing myself off to some strange man to have his way with me, even if he’s hot. Evan was a lesson well learned. I am not a one-and-done to be discarded with little afterthought.”

“Which is bloody brilliant that you know what you want, Y/N,” Isabel reminded you. “Look, if you don’t want to go back on your meds, that is entirely up to you and there isn’t anything wrong with that. But if you don’t want those dreams, maybe you should get one of those fancy sleep tracker watches that wakes you up at the optimal time.”

“And how would that help me?” You sighed, rubbing your forehead. Isabel snorted. 

“Easy, rather than have it wake you up at the best time, program it to wake you up when you are in REM sleep, that’s when you dream. If you get woken up every time you start to dream, you don’t need to face your hot, possessive mystery man. Granted it’s not exactly a long-term solution but it should help you short term.” That idea sounded good, more than good, actually. If you could keep your dreams at bay with something that didn’t involve medicine, you were all for it. 

“I think I’ll try that, I’ve been on that bloody medication long enough.” 

“I have no idea what I am doing Izzy,” You stated with an inebriated sigh while scratching your head in complete puzzlement. In front of you was the sleep tracker that was meant to be used to wake one up at just the perfect time in the morning, except that was not the reason why you had bought it. No, you had bought it so you could program it to wake you up when you were in REM sleep, the stage of sleep where dreams were active. You didn’t have to face your mystery man and his rabid kisses and touches if you didn’t dream in the first place. 

“Don’t panic now, Y/N, you’ve only just opened it,” Isabel responded over the speakerphone. “Okay, you downloaded the app as the instructions told you, right?” You hummed in answer, swiping the phone app and opening up the sleep app you had downloaded first thing. “Great, go to the wake settings, it should have the ideal setting to wake already selected.” You did as Isabel instructed, finding the wake settings. “Now choose REM as your wake setting and assign what type of alarm you want.” You chose the most extreme and unsettling sound on the list, wanting to ensure that you would be woken up.

“And done, should be one hell of a wake-up call given the alarm I chose but I want out of my dreams as soon as I can,” You stated, selecting the setting. “That all?” 

“Yep! Say sayonara to your horny hot dream man, well, sayonara until you want your horny hot dream man… don’t think I’d mind having a man in my dreams declaring me his…” You grimaced at the thought. 

“I’m not an object to be owned or used on a whim.” You then huffed out. “Certainly not by a dream that doesn’t exist in the first place.” You say, working the wristwatch that would monitor your sleep cycle, around your wrist. “I’m going to head to bed and hopefully have a nice night of sleep. Lord knows I need it after my family's less-than-comforting behavior.” 

“You are going to have a good night's sleep, babe, think positive thoughts.” Isabel chided you. You said your goodbyes and ended the call, before looking at the box that would be the alarm to wake you up. You were desperately hoping it worked because you doubted that you would be able to resist your dream man should he design for more.

Standing in the library of the Fawny Rig, you ran your fingers over the spines of the shelved books in deep appreciation. In your brief few weeks of living at the manor as a child, you had seldom spent time in the library because you had been so taken with chasing after frogs. Now you had a better appreciation for the words written in these books and you were looking forwards to reading them. Humming to yourself, you pulled one of the books off a shelf and began flipping through the pages. This was a book on avionics, a subject you hadn’t ever read about before. Your curiosity was piqued. You flipped a few more pages as you wandered further around the library. At least that’s what you did until you physically ran into someone. You nearly bounced off their chest and as arms steadied you on your feet, your lips moved to speak an apology.

“Oh! Please forgive me, I wasn’t—“ The apology fizzled out the moment you recognized who you had run into. The book fell from your hands as you started stuttering in place. Sharp blue eyes remained connected with yours as he bent down and retrieved your fallen book. As he was rising back up, you felt as if your heart had stopped in your chest. Then he offered the book back to you. You ignored the book and started backing away, your eyes wide. “What are you doing here?”

His head tilted to the side as he began to step forwards in time with your steps back. Little flickers of memory from your last encounter with him started filling your mind and your cheeks heated in embarrassment. 

“Is it not enough that you must haunt me in my dreams? Why won’t you leave me alone!?” You cried out at him, frustration clear on your face. “What did I do to deserve this!?” He was on you in seconds, pressing you back into a bookshelf and gently taking hold of your chin. His thumb brushed over your lips as he stared down at you in rapture. 

“You have not done anything to incur my wrath or dislike, little one. Quite the opposite actually,” He spoke quietly, his voice once again washing over your skin like the finest of silks. You shivered against him. His head started bending down and your heart leaped in your chest. Was he going to kiss you again? Spin you up in a tornado of confusion which made you unable to think properly? His lips, thankfully, stopped mere millimeters from your own. “Have I not proven that you are that which I crave? That you are the very object of my anthropomorphic desires? Have I not shown that all I wish is to have you as mine as you had bid years ago with the blood from this very cheek?” He reached up and brushed against the uneven scarred tissue on your cheek. You flinched. 

“You’re just a dream and I am not a trophy.” You whispered, nearly feeling your lips brush against his. His grip on your chin tightened and he closed the gap between your mouths. 

“Do I still feel a dream, my priestess?” He questioned against your lips, his own searching yours and eager to consume all that he could from you. “Look in the mirror, my love, I have been within you for years. Your eyes reflecting mine.”

“No, no,” You harshly whispered out, giving more resistance now. You pushed at his chest and tried to turn your head to remove his lips from yours. Your efforts were fruitless and just when you thought you would be consumed by that haze of lust that had grabbed your body in your last encounter, a piercing shriek broke the silent vale of the library. Hope bloomed in your chest and appeared on your face. “Alarm,” You whispered, your happiness now apparent. Eyes filled with the night sky darkened and narrowed at you as a tugging sensation filled your body. You let it and in seconds you were pulled from his dark embrace, free of any further actions on his part. 

Gasping awake, you stared at the ceiling of your room as the alarm from the box on your nightstand blared in your ear. It had worked. You let out a strained laugh, brushing your hand down your neck with a sigh of relief. You had a way out.

Date Published: 11/9/22

Last Edit: 4/3/23

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#morpheus #morpheus x reader #lord morpheus #dream of the endless #dream the endless #dream of the endless x reader #dream the endless x reader #dream x reader #the sandman #sandman x reader #the sandman x reader #the sandman netflix

[dinkflocculent]

Old Prey: Chapter Three - Nightmare

Leo

I have finally found her.

My sweet Soleda.

My life has been an anguish to live through ever since she left me. All alone. So lonely without her. Now here she is. Standing right in front of me for us to be together forever.

Woefully, something terrible has happened to her. She has lost all memories of her life and our love. Brainwashed into this upturned reality. I have to take her home to make her remember.

She will never leave me again.

“M-Mr. Santifelon…” she says in a hushed, shivering voice, scooting back as takes a step closer to her. “I… I-I—”

She’s horrified of me. She shakes as if she’s in the freezing storm outside. Her chest rises and lowers at a frighteningly quick pace. She holds her chest to soften her heartbeat.

Oh, my poor, sweet Soleda.

“Please… don’t devour me. Imagine how long you'd be in prison being a meat defender. Because of your carnivorous curiosity?” her voice cracks. “…I don’t want to die.”

Devour her?

“Why would I do such a thing to you? Why do you keep calling me by such a formal name?”

“W-What?”

“Oh, you are so terribly frightened… Just come with me. You will be back to normal.”

She takes slow, shaky steps back as I come closer. She may think I’m going to do the worst to her. Devour her? The worst thing I could ever do… and to such an angel of mine.

Her gaze treads to the floor. She holds her heart as her breathing becomes more and more clear and quick. She can’t calm down. I’m scaring her.

She’s having a panic attack.

“Hey, hey…” I go to pick her up.

“Don’t touch me!”

Being as gentle as I can, I grab her wrist. She frails as I put the cloth over her snout. The sweet aroma of the chemical fills her nostrils, her eyes getting heavy.

She falls limp in my arms. So calm when she’s asleep. So beautiful.

Soleda, you have filled a hole inside my cursed heart.

***

Beau

I wake up to an early Saturday morning. I should be energetic to start the break, but my head is agonizing to deal with. My limbs feel like I’ve slept for years. My vision takes time to clear.

My bed doesn’t feel right. I have more space. It makes me not want to leave the comforting covers, yet I can’t understand why my bed feels so unfamiliar.

My vision eventually clears, and I don’t depend on touch to see where I am. The floors are wooden, not carpeted. The window is gone. A large wardrobe replaced my bookshelf. The wall wasn’t the familiar white. It was a vintage yellow with a flower pattern. Everything about my room isn’t the same.

Wait.

This isn’t my room.

Mr. Santifelon kidnapped me last night.

The room feels like it’s running out of oxygen. I try to clear my head, but I can only think about how painful a beast eating me to death feels. Claws digging into my flesh. Some of my fur getting pulled off in a struggle. Sharp teeth ripping my body apart.

God, it’ll be so painful.

I can’t let that happen to me. I throw the covers off of me, pulling my feet to the ground. The door was only steps away. Yet I don’t know the surroundings of this house. A frightening sound stabs my ears, knocking me out of my thoughts.

Footsteps.

Large footsteps.

He’s coming.

I jump back into bed, pulling the covers over me in haste. I shake as I curl into a ball, the soft, terrifying creek of the door hitting my ears. I cover my mouth.

I need to move. This monster is going to eat me alive. The exit is so close. If I can just…

“Soleda?”

He calls me by a familiar name, but it isn’t mine. Are there other monsters in this house? Are they in the room with me? My heart pumps faster than it ever has. Is this how I’ll die? Was my anxiety right every time I went outside? Every time I spoke with a carnivore?

A sweet aroma fills my nostrils, filling my head with pleasant memories of my childhood. It almost calms me, but it won’t let me forget where I am. His hand touches my back to shake me awake, freezing me with fear. He slowly pulls away the covers, seeing my terrified, curled-up body.

He looked down at me, holding a tray of freshly baked cookies. His big smile on his face mocks me for what’s to come.

“Are you cold—”

“Get away from me!” I scream, scurrying to the headboard while not taking my eyes off of him.

“Oh, you poor thing,” he sets down the tray on a dresser and walks forward.

He’s going to kill me.

“No, no, no! Please don’t devour me, it’s not worth it! I don’t want to die, I don’t want to!”

His expression changes. He doesn’t have the look of someone who is about to eat me alive. He looks surprised at my behavior. Devastated that I would beg such things. What does he expect? For me to be okay with going through such a brutal demise?

“Soleda…” he has a deep distraught look in his eyes. “I would never do such a thing to you.”

“…no?” I sniffle, tilting my head in confusion.

“I have finally found you after all these years. Why would I throw it all away for my feral, carnivorous desires? Soleda, you need to stay here so I can keep you safe.”

I stare at him, my mind going blank. He finally found me after all these years? He is the first lion I’ve seen in person. In our conversation, I do remember him talking about his dearest leaving him. How sad he got after bringing it up.

Does he think I’m her?

“Mr. Santifelon, you’re mistaken—”

“Call me Leo!” He slightly raised his voice, causing my ears to lower and my lips to close. He notices, changing his demeanor to a more softer look. “Now that we have calmed down, how about you try some of the cookies I’ve made?”

I eyed the cookies as if they were going to jump out and bite me. He cooked them, and he wants me to eat it. I don’t know what he put in that. Eggs, flour, and a sedative to paralyze me? He made me faint while forcing me to inhale chloroform. He wouldn’t hesitate to trick me into drugging me.

“Do you think I drugged it?” he chuckles. “Why would I do such a thing?”

“Eat one. All of it.”

He sighs, taking a cookie and eating it fully. I stare at him as he swallows, waiting a moment.

He’s fine.

“Now can you please eat at least one? I spent all morning making them just how you liked it.”

I take one, a comforting warmth filling my paw. I sniff it, being cautious. Even though it smells good, I can’t bring myself to consume anything he gives me.

He takes another and eats it whole. He looks at me, his gaze anticipating for me to take a bite. I raise it up to my lips, taking a bite.

It’s… delicious.

I go to take another. Then another. Until he stops my hand from getting the fourth.

“Now, now,” he talks to me as if he’s my father. “That’s just a treat. But we need to eat breakfast. Stay put until I come back, my Soleda.”

He gets up, taking the tray with him as he leaves.

My anxiety returns, reminding me of the situation I was in. He thinks I’m ‘Soleda,’ someone he clearly cares about. I’ve only talked with him for one period and this happens.

I don’t know what he wants with me. He wants me to stay. But I won’t be safe. I’ve heard he has a temper, even if they were only rumors. What makes him mad? What if one day I piss him off and he hurts me? Or snaps…

Then devours me.

I can feel my heartbeat start to quicken. I can feel it in my ears. The thought of him killing me in such an agonizing way makes me dizzy. He has the power to do it. I could do nothing to escape it other than scream and run.

My nose twitched, a sweet, comforting aroma filling my nostrils. It’s coming from the kitchen. He must be cooking, and he’s wonderful at it.

Tip-toeing to the door, I take a peek. He stood against the stove, stirring the pot as he sang a soft song. He held everything so delicately like it was glass.

He is just a delicate flower. A broken soul, who clings to me to put the pieces back together. But I can’t be a part of this. I have nothing to do with it. I am not who he thinks I am.

And I don’t know how to convince him otherwise.

My body reminds me that I didn’t eat anything last night, and I try to find something to distract me from it.

The large wardrobe with peeling paint caught my eye. After a struggle, I open it. It’s filled with casual dresses, not bigger than my size by too much. They look out of date, decades old. But they’re in prime condition.

They probably belonged to Soleda. He holds onto anything of remembrance of her. He obsesses over her. I don’t know how I’m going to possibly convince him. He’s set on this.

“Soleda?”

I close the wardrobe and jump back into bed, pulling the covers over me. I don’t know what he’ll do if he catches me rummaging through his prized possessions.

“You can’t eat under the covers…” he shakes me, alerting me to peek from under them.

He holds a tray. A bowl with a delicious smell has hot steam coming from it. Another small bowl with some fruit.

He sets it down on the bed on my lap. I stare at it, sniffing it. It smelled good, yet I wish I had the nose of a canidae to detect if he put anything in it.

“Soleda, I promise I didn’t put anything in it…” his ears flatten.

Both in pity and a smudge of trust, I pick up a spoon and cup some of the stew. I take a sip.

Males aren’t known for culinary, but he is.

I haven’t eaten in hours, but it feels like weeks. I pray that this isn’t drugged, because I am eating way too fast.

“How do you cook so well?” I ask after I swallow.

“You taught me. You must not remember…” he says with a sad tone. It must be a pleasant memory. “I didn’t know how to cook, even anything simple. My father never taught me since it was ‘only a female’s job,’ so I didn’t know how to fend for myself. But you came and guided me.”

“…Oh?”

“You showed me to show my soft interior my father told me to cover with a tough exterior.”

“She sounds like a wonderful beast.”

He sighs, rummaging through his pocket and pulling photos.

“Soleda, I will do anything to bring back your memory. I know things that you will never forget, and I have them stored. Ever since you left…”

He shows me a picture. A picture of a bear no older than me and a young Mr. Santifelon. His mane wasn’t as long, and his teeth weren’t as sharp. He wasn’t exaggerating when he said I and Soleda looked similar. She looks like she could be my mother.

“Remember this? It was just after prom. The night was so cold but it didn’t stop us from playing in the lake deep into the forest,” he smiles. “It was the best night of our lives.”

I just stared at the picture, looking at him as he spoke. My ear twitches in curiosity. He talks so softly, recounting everything in the moment.

“The nights when we would just talk about our dreams. We wanted to live in a cabin in the snowy woods, away from the outside world. No pressure from society’s expectations. Away from all wars. Just living together.

Dying together.”

That snaps me out of my thoughts. The thought of living with him for the rest of my life is horrifying. I don’t want to be with him. I shouldn’t be. I’m not Soleda. I’m Beau. I want to live with my father. I want to live out my final year of high school.

“Would… you do anything for me?”

I don’t know why I said it. Curiosity? That was part of it.

“Of course, I would! Getting rid of anyone that could get between us. Like that friend ‘Duko’ of yours.”

He has no place in our relationship.”

#anthro oc #anthro #anthropomorphic #furry #furry writing #sfw furry #furry character #furry oc #furry fandom #yandere male #soft yandere #yandere #lovesick #yanblr #creative writing #writing #writers on tumblr #writeblr #writerscommunity #my fic #fiction #tw kidnapping #kidnapping cw #female writers #female protagonist #modern fantasy #fantasy #1980s #sexism #gender roles

[faebirdie]

Bionic Exile: Chapter 12

Series Masterlist / Personal Masterlist

Summary: Takeshi goes on his first mission with the squad and you just try to cope.

Coauthor: @lacontroller1991​

Warnings: canon complicit violence, mind manipulation, lots of angst, cursing 

Word Count: 2,561

The ride back to the apartment is silent aside from Rick’s fingers tap, tap, tapping against the steering wheel to the soft music.

“You know he’ll be fine, right?” You glance over to him at the sound of his voice.

“Yeah, I know he’ll be fine. Of course he will,” A shaky breath cuts you off, “But what if he’s not?” Rick takes your hand in his and brings it to his lips, lighting kissing your knuckles.

“Why don’t we watch a movie when we get home? One of those cheesy action flicks you like.”

“That sounds great.”

—-------

“So does she ever get confused on who’s who when it comes to sex,” Harley asks, completely unprompted, “Come on McSteamy, I’m talking to you.” “Do you do this to Rick?”

“She does it to everyone,” DuBois replies, looking over to where Harley sits, now singing along to a song playing only in her head, rocking her body to the unheard beat causing Takeshi to raise his eyebrow at DuBois, silently asking for an explanation. Robert sighs. “She does that too.”

“Great,” he grumbles, mindlessly fidgeting with the rifle Rick had given him along with the armorer. He had wanted to use his own weapons that he brought from Bay City, but Waller and Rick had immediately vetoed that. “Have you guys been briefed yet?”

“Flag normally does that while we’re on our way!” Harley yells into the mic of her headset and Tak has to stop himself from cringing. 

“There’s a threat. We’re going to take it out. Simple as that.”

“That’s not much of a plan, mate.”

“Form one. I could do this by myself but Waller sent you guys with me.” Tak looks away, deep in thought. Maybe he shouldn’t have said that. Maybe it’ll get back to Waller and she’ll pull him off the task force, but for some reason, Tak can’t bring himself to care. Until he pictures your disapproving face. “Look, we’ll form two teams, flank the combatant on either side and hold positions. Do whatever you gotta do but make sure it’s dead.”

—-------

Rick’s arm inches closer and closer around your shoulders, but he’s not really sure how to approach your still frame. He had thought that one on one time with you and only you would be fun, but the way you hug yourself as you stare mindlessly at the tv proves otherwise and he’s about had it. 

“Are you like this when I’m gone?” The question stirs you out of your thoughts, pulling your attention towards the man next to you.

“What?”

“Are you like this when I’m gone,” he gestures to the way you perch yourself on the couch, your phone within a reaching distance. “Are you this cold with Tak?”

Your eye twitches. How dare he ask something like that? “You really don’t have a damn clue.”

Rick softens at your tone, a sudden reminder of how scared you’ve been each time he’s left in the past.  “I’m trying to learn. Please, talk to me. Say something,” Rick begs, gripping onto your arm as you thaw with his touch, letting out a shaky breath.

“When you’re gone, I cry myself to sleep. Recently, yes. In Tak’s arms. But that doesn’t make it better. I’m afraid to fall asleep because all I see when I dream are memories of last year. Everytime I try to shut my eyes, I just see you on the stretcher in that damn hospital with those tubes and wires sticking out of you every which way and me in the background, watching helplessly as they saved your life. Not able to do a damned thing. I wake up each night you’re gone, screaming for you. Terrified. And I have only been able to just slightly calm down after Tak holds me and reminds me that you are still here. And even then, in the back of my mind, I know that can always change. Now I have to deal with that for both of you.” You pull a gasp of air into your lungs, only able to judge how long you’ve been ranting by your need for oxygen, “This, me just sitting here, not talking is nothing, Rick. So please, just try to be understanding,” you crawl onto Rick’s lap and wrap around him, burying your head in his neck as his arms wrap around you. “I just want you both to be safe.”

Rick presses a kiss to the top of your head as he strokes your back. “He’s going to be fine, baby. We’re both going to be fine.”

—-------

Tak is not fine. Far from it in fact. Never in all his years of training with Quell and CTAC had he seen such a disarray of chaotic fighting, but what he sees here in the streets of Havana has him questioning all sanity. “Quinn, get the fuck down!” Takeshi’s voice booms as he dives to his right, tumbling across the asphalt and just barely escaping a large truck being thrown towards them. Where the fuck did that even come from? Harley isn’t as lucky. She gets decked by the corner of the vehicle and crashes onto the hood of a nearby car. Tak watches then as one of the army rangers that had been sent along with the squad gets picked up by an unseen force and hurled against a nearby building. His body slumps to the ground limply though Tak is unable to tell whether he is dead or just unconscious. 

“Fuck.” Managing to pull his bruised and sore body up from the ground, Takeshi moves quickly to position himself behind a flipped over van where he will have at least partial cover before angling his rifle towards the creator of all of this chaos. Standing in the middle of the destroyed street is a pale man dressed in completely drab clothing except for the black glove on his right hand, which glows with a bizarre purple light. Tak aims straight for the man's head, but once again can’t believe his eyes as he pulls the trigger. The bullets swerve around his adversary.  Round after round somehow manages to miss their target, but they do get his attention. The man, tall and lanky, then turns to Tak and begins to take short, precise steps towards him. Tak throws the rifle down and grabs two knives from their holsters on his side. “Come on then, you motherfucker.”

With a swipe of his attacker's gloved hand as he nears, the car Tak stands behind is lifted and heaved towards his head, just high enough for the envoy to duck and avoid.

“Is that all you got?” He spits out and stands back up to his full height, before taking a step forward.

The person steps back with a chuckle, his eyes gleaming with anger as he raises his arm outwards and points a finger in Tak’s direction.

“Not in the slightest.”

—-------

Rick places his card over the scanner, granting him and you access to an unused room. After much convincing on your part, Rick finally caved and agreed to let you watch the mission. Normally, it’s classified unless you were on the comms team, but how could he say no to your pleading eyes. 

“These computers should still be functional. We can’t stay here for long though, darlin’. We’re only here to see how he’s holding up. Right?”

You stand behind Rick, Takeshi’s coat wrapped around your body as you nod your head. Realistically, you know your Envoy is fine, but with any mission, there is always the nagging feeling that accompanies you. And this being his first with the team makes it all the worse. “Yeah, I just wanna see how he’s doing.”

Rick nods, typing in his own code and pulling up the surveillance in the area. Shock and confusion begin to set in at the scene playing out in front of you both. “What the fuck is he doing just standin’ there?” 

You easily push Rick to the side and stare down at the screen, the hacked security cam footage showing you two small figures who appear to be Takeshi and the enemy standing across from each other, a purplish light surrounding the Envoy who stands completely still in his spot. Your brows furrow together as you bang the computer with your fist, hoping the signal is simply frozen. Rick is quick to pull your hands away from the screen as he calms you and points to the corner. “This is live feed, darlin’. See?” your eyes follow his movement and see some trash rolling in the breeze, but still, Tak and the person remain still. 

“What’s going on? Why isn’t he moving?”

“I don’t know, maybe it has somethin’ to do with that thing on his hand?” A shiver runs down your spine and you wish you were there with him, helping him, instead of watching him fight on a screen from thousands of miles away. Placing your hand on the screen, you lean your head on the box as a tear slips out. 

“Please come back to me.”

—-------

Tak feels foggy. Like he’s out of place. He knows he’s walking down a corridor in Belle Reve, but he can’t seem to remember why or how he got there. His hands are stuffed in his jacket pockets and his head hangs low. It all feels off. As he continues to walk down the hallway, he’s quick to spot you and Rick, walking side by side and holding hands. “Hey Flag, (Y/N)!” He jogs down the hall towards the pair of you, who he’s surprised make no move to greet him. Coming to a stop in front of the both of you, a frown falls on his face when he sees the way you stare at your shoes, refusing to look at him and then Rick’s clenching jaw. “What’s wrong?”

Rick is the first to face the Envoy, pushing you behind his large frame and grabbing a fistful of Tak’s jacket, hoisting the man into the air. What the hell? Tak thinks to himself as Rick scowls. “Who the fuck do you think you are showing your face around here? You’re lucky I don’t kill you.”

Tak quickly break’s Rick’s hold on him and shoves the special ops agent back, giving them space. “Why don’t you tell me what’s going on,” his eyes tear away from Rick and fall onto you. “Baby? What’s going on?”

You step out from behind Rick, and push your hair back; dark sunken eyes, hollow cheeks, and a pale complexion adorn your face, way different than the one that usually greets Tak. “If I’d known it would always be her, I would’ve kicked you back through the portal myself. I don’t want you around me, Kovacs. Leave me alone, you’ve already done enough damage.” You start to walk away and Tak tries to reach out but is blocked by Rick’s solid frame. 

“Look murderer, she told you to leave her alone. Now leave. Her. Alone.” Rick shoves Takeshi back as Tak’s thoughts race. What the fuck is going on? What did I do? Why does this feel wrong? 

“(Y/N). Don’t leave. I love you!” Tak falls to his knees, a heavy weight crushing down on him and making it impossible to breathe. His hazel eyes fall to the floor and barely catch the top of your shoes. “You ruined that, Kesh. I don’t love you anymore. Goodbye.” With that, you take Rick’s hands and walk away and out of Takeshi’s life.

—-------

Harley’s vision slowly starts to come back to her, though still hazy, as she coughs up dust, rubble laying all across her body and her javelin laying in the dirt next to her. Is everything over? Sliding off the hood of the car, she surveys the scene. It’s calm. Too calm. Grabbing the javelin, she starts to skip on the road, the metal weapon swinging back and forth in her hand and despite her joyous attitude, there was still a weird atmosphere. Rounding the corner, she easily spots the cause of the tension. 

In the middle of the road their clearly not dead enemy stands over Tak who sits on his knees in a daze, a purple haze clouding him. “What the fuck?” Harley looks down in her hands to her javelin and shrugs. If she can save Flag, she can save Flag 2.0. 

Sneaking around the pair, she crouches down beside a rock and peers over. “Why is he not fighting?” Her blue eyes scroll down the elongated weapon. “Should I save him? I think I should.” After a minute, she shrugs and starts creeping up to the person, keeping a low profile and clenching onto her javelin. “He betta like me after this.”

—-------

Tak stares down at his hands covered in blood. What has he done? A hand finds a place on his shoulder causing him to look up, a familiar face greeting him. “You did good, Kesh. I knew you could do it.”

“What did you do? What the fuck did you do?” He stands to his full height and looks down at his sister who smiles with a gleam in her eyes. 

“What you’ve always wanted to do. You just finally did it,” she shrugs and gestures to the hall, bodies laying across the floor. Tak’s eyes go wide and he feels like he’s going to puke. He carefully steps over each and every body until a hand sticking up among the rest catches his eyes.

“No, no, no, no.” He crashes to his knees and shoves the bodies aside until he finds yours, eyes wide and dull as blood pours from your mouth. He quickly drags you out from under the bodies and cradles your head to his chest and looks up at Reileen. “What the fuck did you do?!”

Reileen laughs and crouches down, pulling up one of Tak’s hands and showing the bloody knuckles. “I think the question is, what did you do?”

—-------

Harley stands behind the man and taps him on the shoulder, causing him to turn around. “Hey, let go of him, he’s had enough.” She swings the javelin across the side of his face causing him to lose focus and let go of whatever hold he had Tak in. Harley races to Tak’s side and throws the javelin down. Grabbing a hold of either side of Tak’s face, she tried to shake him awake. “Come on hotstuff, wake up.”

The enemy beside them groans in pain but before he could sit up, DuBois has a foot on his gloved hand and a gun aimed at him. “Uh uh, I don’t think so.”

Harley ignores her teammates as she slaps Tak’s face a couple of times, but to no avail. “He won’t wake up! He betta not die! (Y/N) will kill us!” She continues to slap his face as DuBois pulls the glove off of the bloody faced man and places him into a pair of restraints. 

“Relax, he’s probably just unconscious.”

—-------

“You’re a monster. You know that?” Wake up, Takeshi. You’re dreaming. 

“We’re the monsters, Kesh. We were designed to kill and you did what you’re best at. You killed the enemy.” This isn’t real. Wake up.

“No, I killed my love. You made me kill her. You’re the enemy.” Tak scowls at Reileen as she shrugs, picking at her cuticles. 

“When will you realize that we are killing machines? It’s what we do. She was just a bystander who got in the way. Now come, brother. We have work to do.” Reileen stands up and starts to walk down the hallway but stops when she realizes that her twin isn’t following her. “Come on, now.” Tak shakes his head, his arms holding your dead body close to his. “No. I’m done following you around. I’m not going anywhere.” “Keshi, please. Please come with me,” Reileen begs, holding out her hand for him to take but he shakes his head. 

“No. I’m staying right here. You’ll have to leave without me.” That’s right. Now wake up.

“You’re making a mistake.”

“Probably, but I’d rather stay here than go anywhere with you.” Reileen storms out in a blind rage as Tak continues to cradle your face to his chest. Looking down at you, he wipes some of the blood off your face. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry I couldn’t protect you.”

—-------

Tak jolts awake in a panic and shoots straight up. He looks around and sees the team standing around him with the target in cuffs. Without allowing himself a moment to clear his head, Takeshi marches over to where DuBois is holding the man. “Let me talk to him.” DuBois moves out of the way and hands Tak the instrument that put Tak under. Gripping onto the collar, he stares the person in the eyes. “What did you do to me?” The man chuckles, spitting in Tak’s face but Tak doesn’t flinch. 

“I know your deepest fear now. It will come to pa-” Tak doesn’t let the man finish before he places his own gun - that he had in fact snuck onto the plane - underneath his chin and pulls the trigger, blowing the man’s brains to bits. The squad merely watches in shock. Flag would never do that. But then again, Takeshi is not Rick Flag. He’s Takeshi Lev Kovacs. Which no one on the team would ever doubt again after this.

“Wow, that was bad ass!” Harley comments and this time Tak gives her a nod in acknowledgement. Still shaken up, he grabs his weapons and the tech and starts toward the carrier with only one thought on his mind, to get home to you.

“Let’s go home.”

Taglist:  @kingtwhiddleston @taternuts @strawberriebabbles @nerdysuperchick​ @inthetikiroom @taylorgasmtpr @taarkatans @saritanotserena @blackrose53666 @more-cardigan-than-woman

#bionic exile #takeshi kovacs x reader #rick flag x reader #takeshi kovacs #rick flag #the suicide squad #altered carbon #dceu #dcu #takeshi kovacs imagine #takeshi kovacs x reader x rick flag #rick flag x reader x takeshi kovacs #rick flag imagine #imagine #reader insert #poly imagine #angst #collaberation #my writing #hannah writes

[dannythedog]

Always There - Danny Wagner x Reader

Masterlist

Join my tag list!

Warnings: mentions of weed, being sad, bad writing

I'm feeling angsty so I thought I could channel my feelings into this instead of actually doing something healthy and I know the title doesn't make sense I couldn't come up with anything

~

Sitting on Danny's couch reminded you of all the good things you two had together. You met freshman year of high school as you were in a group with him and Sam for a project. You two hit it off because your personalities were much calmer than Sam's and you actually did your portion of the project.

Two years later you find yourself hunkered down in his basement, listening to him strum away at his guitar as you studied for the SATs. Danny was always a good study partner, quizzing you at random intervals, giving you new methods of studying, reminding you to take breaks. Some of your favorite times were studying with him.

The way he took care of you made your heart flutter. Gentle touches as he guided you to the basement made your skin burn. His warm, kind eyes gave you butterflies. Safe to say you had it bad. But this was Danny. He was kind to everyone and treated you no differently.

He plops next to you on the couch, guitar still in hand. "Hey, why don't you take a break for a minute? Sing this song with me."

You shoot him a playful horrified look and set your books to the side. "No way, you know I get way too nervous. Plus, I probably don't even know the song."

"You know it," he nods and plays the opening chords. "See? Blue Spotted Tail."

Fleet Foxes was one of your favorite bands at the moment, so of course Daniel would pick that song. You two had a mutual love for the band and even attended a concert earlier in the year.

"Please? I'll sing with you. It's just us here, no one will judge."

Your heart panged in your chest as you looked at his pleading face. You knew he'd never judge you, but singing seemed so vulnerable. When his arm brushed yours as he leaned closer, you knew you were done for. "Okay," you give in. "One song."

His grin grew and that alone made potentially embarrassing yourself worth it. Your voice was shaky and cracked a few times, but Danny never laughed. He just kept playing and sang along with you. The proud look in his eyes burned into your memories when you finally looked up at him. You'd never hear this song the same.

-

Senior year was rapidly coming to an end and to say you were terrified was an understatement. You were going to college soon and had no idea what you wanted to major in, you could barely pick a college, and Danny's band was being signed to a label. You were so beyond proud and you knew it was selfish, but you couldn't stop your heart from breaking a little bit.

He noticed your change in behavior. Of course he did, he was ever the observant one. He made you aware when he asked you to go for a drive late one night. These were always the times you guys were most open with each other.

Danny picked you up at 10 pm, not caring that it was a school night. "I brought weed," he grinned and held up the baggie.

"But you're driving. You can't be under the influence and make it home safely," you chuckled, but kept your face serious enough to let him know you meant it.

"We'll pull over somewhere." For now you two just drove. The air was warm so he kept the windows down and played music just loud enough for you to hear it over the wind. The atmosphere was comfortable, but there were undertones of melancholy.

You admired him while he wound his way through the back roads, eyes traveling from his frizzy hair that blew around everywhere, down the slope of his nose, and came to a stop at his lips.

Your body grew warm as you thought of leaning over to kiss him. How easy would it be to peck the corner of his mouth or to turn his head slightly to feel his plush lips against yours. The tingles in your chest turned into a flurry of feelings, almost convincing you to do it.

His eyes met yours briefly and a soft smile was flashed your way, killing your fantasy. "We go on tour pretty soon after graduation," he breaks the silence. "We'll have two week after graduation and then we go. We're spending our last week here preparing, so I want to spend the other week with you."

You'd never felt tingles die so quickly. "Yeah," you say softly. "I'd like that."

He pulls over to a park that's dark and hidden by trees. "Hey, I'm not gonna abandon you," he says seriously. "You're important to me and touring won't change that."

"I know," you sigh and pull the joint from his baggie. "It's just gonna be hard going from seeing you nearly everyday to hardly seeing you at all."

He gives you a sad smile and lights the joint for you. "I know. It'll be a tough adjustment for all of us, but we'll get through it. I promise I'll bring back cool souvenirs for you."

His promises and the high bring your spirits up some, leaving you feeling hopeful.

-

When school started, you threw yourself into your studies. You regretted not telling Danny how you felt that night because now it was damn near impossible to catch him in a spare moment. Your classes and extracurriculars didn't line up with his schedule at all.

You halted your march to the library when you felt your phone vibrate in your pocket. It was Danny.

"Hello?" You answered, slightly out of breath simply from the fact he was calling.

"Hey!" His cheery voice sounded through the phone. "You busy right now?"

You hoist your bookbag further up your shoulder and start your trek again. "Just heading to the library, so I have a minute to talk. What's up?"

"Can you go back to your dorm? There's a surprise there."

Your confusion grew and you stopped in your tracks again. "What? A surprise? Did you send me a package or something?"

"Would you just go back and look?"

"Danny, I really have to-" you cut yourself off when you heard your roommate's voice in the background of the phone call. "Danny, you're not," you say lowly when you register what's happening.

"Will you come now?" he chuckles. You don't even respond, you just hang up and sprint back to your dorm. Your heart was pounding and those tingles took root in your chest again.

The door was opening as your roommate slipped out, presumably to give you some space. You blew through the threshold and took in the sight of Danny lounged across your bed so casually.

"Shut up!" You squealed and tossed your things to the ground. Your only focus was to get Danny in your arms as soon as possible. "I can't believe you're here!"

"We had a break and I thought it would be fun to surprise you," he explains as you crawl into your bed with him.

That day was spent just like you were in high school again. You blew off your classes to get pizza, watch movies, and just catch up on everything. As you watched him munch on a slice of pizza, you knew you couldn't waste this opportunity again.

You clear your throat and sit up a little straighter. "Hey, um, could I talk to you about something?" Your heart felt like it was in throat and your palms grew considerably clammier. Concern flashed through his eyes and he matched your posture.

"So, I wasn't completely honest with you last summer. Of course I was upset because I was gonna miss you and college had me nervous," you begin, eyes darting around the room. "But I have a confession to make."

"You murdered the chem teacher for giving you a C on that project, didn't you?" Danny tries to joke, but grows serious when he sees it didn't land.

Your hands shake and your breathing becomes ragged. For a few moments you're silent, mouth opening and closing like a fish out of water. "Look," you finally muster. "I like you."

"I know," he nods, curls bouncing so cutely that you think your heart might explode.

"No, like, I have...feelings for you, Danny. Like honest to god, gut wrenching feelings for you and I have for a long time. I wasn't sure how to tell you because you're my best friend and I didn't want to make it weird and I especially didn't want to get shit from Sam for the rest of my life," you ramble, word vomiting everything you've been holding back since you were fifteen. "So, yeah, I like you."

Danny is quiet for a moment, his face growing somber. "I know."

Your gut drops and you can feel your face pale. Nerves and tingles were gone, you were wholly being consumed by dread. "You do?" you whisper.

He only nods, finally casting his gaze to the floor to give you some reprieve. "Well?" Your throat is tight and dry as you bore your eyes into his forehead.

He's quiet again before he clears his throat. "Well, like you said, we're...friends. I've known for a while now."

A sharp breath is the only sound you can manage right now. Your body feels hot with shame and tears of embarrassment cloud your vision. "Oh," you rasp out and stand from your spot. "Oh."

"Y/n," he tries and reaches his hand out to you. "Come on, just sit for a minute, okay?"

You shake your head and wipe at your face frantically. "No, no, I just. I have to go. Good luck on the rest of your tour."

You don't bother to look at him as you rush back outside. There's a family bathroom on your route to who knows where, so you duck inside to let yourself feel. You didn't know where this left you and Danny, but you did know that you hoped he wasn't there whenever you decided to go back.

~

Tag list: @groggyvanfleet @barbariansgvf @heatmyfleet @doodle417 @ageofsam @theothersideofthesun @jackiidk @busybusybusyb @shawnsthighs @sunshinelukee @theweightofstardust @basiccortez @allieboop @fleet-prodigy @bumblebeeswrite @stardustingold @bigberkinbagholdfive @mywaygvf @llightmyllovee @myownparadise96 @t00turnttrauma @loofypoofy @seventieswhore @celestialfauna @agirlwithmanytastes @trafficwasabitch @crazybabysworld @hayley1623 @alwayssotiredbutneverofyou @fatefellshortthistime @notthedroidz @gretavancreep @gretasmokerising @gretavanfleas @weightofdreamz @s-u-t @lacuna-moon

#greta van fleet #gvf #danny wagner #danny gvf #daniel wagner #danny wagner angst #danny wagner imagine #danny wagner fic #greta van fleet fanfic #greta van fleet fic #greta van fleet imagine #sammy kiszka #sammy gvf #sam gvf #sam kiszka #josh gvf #josh kiszka #jake gvf #jake kiszka

[zaewriteshere]

Why do you love me ?

AO3 Link

Do you see under my hood Cypher ?

… Does it scare you ?

I wonder if the person that you see is the same as I do when I look into the mirror.

You and I are the same, you are only the lucky one in the sense that you have flesh to hide your monstrosity.

I am but the shell of a man that holds no memories of his past.

While you seek to forget, all I want is to remember.

So, I am asking you ; why me ?

---

Omen didn’t consider himself to be a self conscious person.

He never really was worried about his appearance.

Didn’t mean he liked it, by any means it was very much the opposite.

Would he ever admit it or even act upon this feeling ?

Absolutely not.

But it didn’t stop him from wondering, sometimes.

If Cypher could see everything, could he…

See what he looked like ?

If so, how did he feel about that ?

He didn’t like the feeling of not knowing, but he was also…

He couldn’t really explain it, but he didn’t really want to know the answer to that.

For the first time, he felt anxious about someone else’s opinion on both him and his appearance.

“Are you okay, my dear ?” His lover’s familiar voice brought him back to earth.

Right, they were hanging out quietly in his office, Omen peacefully knitting and Cypher silently working on who-knew-what.

“I’m fine,” He replied after another moment of silence.

They stared at each other for a couple of beats.

“What’s on your mind ?” The sentinel finally asked, tilting his head to the side.

His tone was so caring, so gentle.

Was he like this knowing what he looked like under his hood ?

Or was it in ignorance ?

… Did he want the answer ?

“Why are you so adamant on forgetting ?” The controller blurted, immediately wincing.

He didn’t mean to say that out loud.

Silence answered him for a while.

“I could ask you the same question, my dear,” He replied, his tone fakely light.

“Because I want to know the truth,” He answered without any hesitation.

Another minute of silence was shared.

“Maybe one day, I’ll tell you,” His lover answered, his tone indicating that he didn’t want to talk about it.

Omen sighed quietly, feeling like he fucked up somehow.

He probably did.

“I’m sorry,” He apologised, looking at his hands.

“Don’t be, my dear. You were just curious, were you not ?” Cypher answered, reassuring.

Wordlessly, he nodded. 

That was one way to put it. 

This all felt familiar.

He couldn’t pinpoint how or even why, he just felt like he had this conversation with someone a long, long time ago.

He tried to chase after that faint feeling of déjà-vu, but it quickly disappeared.

He sighed, frustrated.

“What is it my dear ?” The sentinel asked, turning to him. At the lack of answers, and maybe also by his current body language… He read the controller like a book. “Is it one of those faint memories again ?” He questioned gently.

“If you can even call them that…” He mumbled in answer.

“What was it about this time ?” His lover enquired, now fully turning to him, having his full attention.

“I just… I felt like I had this conversation already,” He explained, finding his own voice distant.

“Oh ?” “A long time ago, before I got turned into… Well,” He trailed off, not finding any words appropriate to define himself.

His boyfriend changed position to be next to him, gently taking his slightly shaky hand into his.

“It’s okay my dear, you’re here now. You’re safe,” He reassured, oh so loving and caring.

Omen could almost believe it.

But he couldn’t shake this feeling that he wasn’t safe and never will be until his past is dealt with.

As if reading his mind, Cypher called out to him.

Focusing his attention back on his partner, he felt his gloved hand squeeze his.

“You are safe with me, always will be. I will protect you,” He promised.

He knew he was being serious.

Somehow, that terrified him. 

He couldn’t pinpoint as to why, however.

“Thank you,” He finally said, relaxing.

Slowly putting his head over his lover’s shoulder, he took deep breaths.

Maybe Omen could learn a thing or two from his new boyfriend and let go of the past, just for a little bit.

Just when he’s safe and sound with him by his side.

As his mind relaxed, he finally asked the question that had been burning his mind ever since they started dating : 

“Why do you love me, Cypher ?”

He tensed when he realised what he just said. 

Yes, he always wondered, but he was never really sure if he wanted to hear the answer.

Well, there was no backing down now.

Silence answered him for a while as the sentinel was idly rubbing his thumb over the back of his hand while gathering his answer.

He almost told him to not answer, but his boyfriend spoke before he could even utter a single word.

“You’re caring, despite being silent most of the time,” He finally stated, but he wasn’t done. “Even with your inner turmoil, you have this way with people. You can calm them down and bring them back to earth with your simple words and gentle gestures. You’ve done that to me a lot, actually. I don’t think you’ve ever realised it,” Cypher chuckled, as if remembering a fond memory. “That’s how I fell in love with you, all this time ago. I just never had the courage to tell you until recently,” He admitted, so loving and caring. 

He took a moment to take it all in.

That was… A lot.

He didn’t think he ever heard the sentinel speak about someone for so long and so highly.

He felt both honoured and… Scared.

Against his best judgement, he was tempted to ask about if his boyfriend had ever seen his true appearance.

He was probably feeling his hesitation, because he nudged him lightly, catching his attention once again.

“What are you thinking about now ?” He asked, ever so curious. 

He stayed silent for a bit, both thinking on how to word his question and wondering if he should even ask.

… He should trust Cypher a bit more.

“I just wonder if… You’ve ever seen what I looked like,” He started, oh so vulnerable. He hated it. “And if… If it ever scared you,” He finished, tearing his gaze away from him.

“I did see it, once,” He replied without missing a beat. “It saddened me more than anything. The sight made me want to hug you and take care of you,” He continued, his tone truthful and honest.

Omen didn’t expect… That answer came from him.

A part of him doubted he was even telling the truth.

But he knew the sentinel.

He wasn’t the type to lie about something like this.

“What did you even see ?” He questioned, his tone too harsh for his liking.

“A lot. It’s hard to put it into words but… In your pain, I saw mine, too. I was already in love with you at that point, but I think I fell harder that day. We’re not as different as you may think,” He gently said, nuzzling his cheek lovingly.

“You have flesh to hide your pain,” He answered, trying to not sound as bitter as he was.

A light chuckle escaped his lover’s lips.

“You don’t need to have flesh to hide it,” He stated, lovingly. “Most people don’t even know how to,” He continued, amused. “The fact that not everybody knows how much you’re hurting every day…” His movement became tender, caring. “I both admire it and despise it,” He finished off.

“Why ?” He questioned curiously.

“You need to let others know how you’re feeling. Keeping everything to yourself, while it is admirable, is not healthy,” He explained, his tone serious and firm. “You worry me a lot, you know ?” He said, using his free hand to trace his cheek. 

“So… You don’t think that I’m a… Mon-” Immediately, Cypher hushed him.

“Of course not. Why should I ?” He replied instantly, almost aggressively. “Not only would that be hypocritical of me, but you’re really not one,” He continued, softer. 

He nodded silently.

He didn’t like this situation of him asking to be reassured like that, but he also knew he desperately needed it. 

“No matter what my dear, I’ll always love you.”

The knot in Omen’s chest finally went away as he heard that.

#ao3 fanfic #fanfic #valorant #one shot #cypher x omen #omen valorant #cypher valorant

[savthefnafwriter]

My first story, this deals with Mrs. Afton, some au lore.<3

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Chapter 1: The Nothingness.

————————————————————————-“Where am I?.” I looked around, confused in tears.

“Why do I feel..nothing..?” I looked down and saw my death mark with my organs spilling out. I felt something laying on my arm and looked at it with a sigh of sorta relief. “Oh..that’s still there..” I got up after a few minutes and walked around, seeing nothing until memories started playing, not good ones of course. After a few hours of walking in the nothingness, I had started to go mad from not seeing anything or anyone besides myself. “WHY..WHY AM I HERE?! WHY COULDN’T IT HAVE BEEN WILLIAM?!. I DESERVE REST!. NOT AGONY!.” I screamed and screamed over and over again, but nothing responded back.

“Why..why couldn’t it have been him..” I said to myself with quiet little sobs into my hands. A few more hours later I was starting to get drowsy and hungry. I looked around and stared at the memories playing. I didn’t know what to do so I just slept and cried as I thought about what had happened to bring me here. I hate it here, I don’t know why I’m here. I shouldn’t be here. It should’ve been Will, not me. HIM.

————————————————————————-Chapter 2: Awakened.

————————————————————————-

Later..

I stood in front of the memories cabinet, watching the memory when I had gotten married to the monster I love. Why do I love him? After all he’s done to me?! I love him. Maybe it’s because I need him, maybe it’s because he’s the only man who doesn’t see me as a freak.. a monster even. I looked at my arms that felt odd. Why..why are they covered in blood? I looked at the nothingness, and noticed..a familiar figure. It was tall..smiling right at me..that smile is also familiar..wait..can it be?. Oh my gosh..is it..W-Will?!. I ran towards the figure screaming his name, over and over again. “WILLIAM!. YOU CAME TO GET ME!.” As I reached him, I hugged him tightly but, when I looked up, that terrifying face I saw before I died was..on his face. I freaked out, I grabbed his face, crying, panicking, screaming. “WILL!. STOP LOOKING AT ME LIKE THAT!. PLEASE HON-..” He disappeared, his body just..turned into liquid, black slimy liquid. I screamed as my hands held the liquid left from him and started shaking. “O-Oh my..No no no..HE WAS JUST HERE WITH ME!.” I cried and cried, hugging the liquid. “I-If this is all I have left from you..I’m okay with that because you’re still here with me..” I put the liquid in my pocket.

————————————————————————Chapter 3: The Hole and Home.

————————————————————————

A few months later, a hole opened up in the darkness around me. I reached out and it was warm and bright. I walked all the way over to it and went through the hole. Then, darkness came across my eyes. A few moments later I woke up. Not in darkness, but, on a street. I haven’t been on a street since I died. I looked around, scared, nervous but trembling. I noticed I was on the same street that had little drawings on the road and sidewalk. I gasped. Could it be? Is this the road I think it is? I got up and staggered down the sidewalk. Then, I noticed it. My house. My house! I went up to the mailbox and saw that it was covered in dust. I wiped it off and gasped. It has my last name. Aftons. I gasped again, “Oh my gosh..It is my house..” I looked at the front door and ran towards it. I banged on the door, and the door opened. “That was easier than I thought.” I sighed. I walked in, and was shocked.

“What..happened? What happened to everyone? What happened to my husband? What happened to Micheal?” I said in a shaky voice. I walked around. The place was trashed, the photos on the wall were broken. Blood was on the kitchen floor. I felt a wave of nausea come across me. That memory of my death rushing through my head. My head hurts, my heart hurts. “Why would he do this to me? I thought I was the love of his life?.” I shook the memory off and kept walking around the house. “I have to find what happened to them.” I said in a stern voice. I went into my old room and saw the bed trashed. The floor, everything was messy and the floor was covered in empty alcohol bottles. I sighed and saw my wedding picture. Oh how I miss that day. It was wonderful.

A few moments later after looking around, I left the room and went to Michael’s room. His room looked abandoned, but it was also trashy and messy. “Maybe I’ll find them one day, or maybe it’ll be better if I don’t so I don’t have to see the pain of them finding me in tears.” I said as I went back to my old room, brushed the broken pieces of glass off of the bed and laid down. “Hopefully I might actually find them, maybe I’m thinking of it wrong. I do miss them, but I don’t want them to be in pain.” I sighed and closed my eyes, and fell asleep.

————————————————————————

Chapter 4: The Monster I Live With.

—----------------------------------------------------------------------

A day later. I woke up and rubbed my forehead. “God, I think that’s the most I’ve slept in awhile.” I said to myself. A few moments later I heard the front door open, and someone entered. They had a stern, deep voice from what I could tell. I hid under the covers, knowing that wasn’t my best choice but it’s what I was going to go with. The person came into the room and put their stuff down. I peeked from under the covers and saw them setting, I’m guessing, their glasses down. It was a tall man, if that’s what you would call it. He took a deep breath and exhaled. “(Heck), I still have to watch this house when I’m not even the one who’s alive. It should’ve been Micheal, I’m not even the one who has a job anymore.” He said sternly.

I moved slightly, trying to get to the other side of the bed. He turned to the bed and stared. “Who the (heck) is in my bed.” He said while yelling. He ripped off the covers. I stared at him, in shock. “HOW THE (hecky heck) ARE YOU HERE.” He screamed. I stared, as tears filled my eyes. “I came..to look for you!.” I said in a scared tone. He sighed, and bent down and picked me up. “What are you doing?.” I said, worriedly.

He held me close, just gripping my shoulders. “I thought I (freaking) killed you.” He said sternly. “You did, but I found a hole in where I was..and crawled through, and then I woke up here.” I sighed. He rolled his eyes. “Well you’re back now, so I guess you’ll have to stay here with me then.” He said, while staring into my eyes. I nodded and hugged him tightly, I knew that it was a risky choice especially after he did kill me a few months ago or so. I don’t know for sure, I wish I knew, but I don’t know how long it has been.

The next morning was as awkward as it could be. The most he would do is either silently glare at me or smile creepily. I was getting tired of it, but I had been alone for so long, I settled with the one who loves me, and I love him. It’s always been just us two even since we were kids. Though his ways on how he eats or acts is annoying or very startling. I wouldn’t change it for the world. Right? I won’t.

He was making breakfast, silently watching the bubbles pop on the bacon as it sizzled on the frying pan. I smiled a little and just went to the bathroom and closed the door. I realized that I haven’t even seen myself at all since I died. I looked at the cracked mirror and screamed. “I LOOK LIKE A (beeping) MONSTER!” I fell back and stared at the mirror. Looking right back at me was a messed up version of me, and the remains of ballora. Was I really the monster in the mirror? I looked horrendous, even terrifying. No one could love me looking like this, that would explain why he’s been more affectionate. I’m still one of his creations, I’m still a part of it. I’m still ballora.

—----------------------------------------------------------------------

Chapter 5: The Accident.

—----------------------------------------------------------------------

I touched my face, it felt broken. I still felt my tears roll down my face even though half of it was machinery. Then the realization hit again like a silver bullet to my heart. He only loved me because I’m still his creation, I’m still his design. Though the other side of my body, if that’s what you would call it. It barely even belongs to me anymore. I’m a machine and part human. The part of my face that was considered normal was in tears, yes the other part of my face is also in tears, but I was crying heavily and I needed to stop crying.

I got up and ran out of the room and to the kitchen. “WILLIAM.” I screamed, my voice distorted since I haven’t screamed in awhile. He turned around and faced me. “Yes my love?” He said smiling. “QUIT THE “MY LOVE” CRAP. YOU ONLY LOVE ME BECAUSE I LOOK LIKE ONE OF YOUR CREATIONS!” I screamed, in tears. He walked over and put his hands on my shoulders while I was just filled with anger and sadness. “I love you for how sensitive, sweet, sassy, and sarcastic you are.” He said, chuckling. “YOU’RE JUST SAYING THAT TO KEEP ME UNDER YOUR POWER!” I screamed again, my voice getting hoarse at this point. He put his finger over my lip. “You’re being hot headed again my love.” “MM-..” I stopped speaking. It was no use arguing with him anymore. I cried into his shoulder and hugged him. He knows my weaknesses, he knows what makes me love him even more than before.

God, how could I let him calm me down. I just had to, he’s the one man who’s considered me pretty, and loves me for how I act. I just have to face the fact I’m with him, he will be the only one who loves me for who I am, how I act and how I dress.

This will be my life, the past feels like it’s the present now but with some changes. I know it’ll take some time, but I’ll end up liking it, hopefully. That’s all I’ll be doing now, being with William, and hopefully finding Michael, and maybe Cc, and Elizabeth. I came back from the dead, William came from the dead, Cc, and Elizabeth should hopefully come back. We’ll just have to find their spirits. Michael hopefully will live his full life, a normal life. I wish him the best in life, just like he deserves. We’ve had our faults, but we will hopefully all find each other and be one happy crazy family till the end.

#mrs afton #afton family #alternate universe

[thehorrorsoftheblackbunnymask]

Lowkey, I find it crazy how my brain works now.

In the past I'd be terrified of my abusers name or presence, now I can say his name freely and him being around still gets me all shaky, but I can still function almost perfectly.

I haven't seen him for a while, bur I feel like if push came to shove, I'd be ok around him again

Sometimes I picture nyself being friends with him again. What would he be like now? Would he treat me like an actual person and be an honestly good person, or would he still treat me like utter shit and sexualize me? I wonder that often.

One of my friends have been getting a lot of guys getting crushes on her, and this is what triggered me to have these thoughts.

Without my wife to kinda keep me grounded, I've been just lost in thought.

I'm scared of when he sees me again, what he'll say or do.

I'm in my glow up Era rn because I'm getting my shit together, and I'm scared in all honesty.

But, sometimes I wish I wasn't getting better. Like, I'm getting better right, haven't have an episode in weeks, but sometimes a trigger comes in.

I still don't like touch. Sometimes my friends grab me and my fight or flight response kicks in and I fucking grab their thoughts. This happens when someone touchs my legs, arms, shoulders, or just anywhere under my neck. One of my friends likes to touch the back out my neck because I'm super sensitive there and if someone touched me there I shoot up like a rocket. I'm fine with that because I find it funny.

I remember when a new kid in my class grabbed my chin unprovoked. Mentally I was ok, but my eyes started water and I was shaking like crazy. Mentally I was normal, but my body was shaky and terrified.

There's also one thing I've noticed about my crush.

He's Dominican. He reminds me a lot of my abuser, not in looks tho, in the way he presents himself. His resting face I'd so similar to his that it's terrifying. Like it's a pissed off numb face, but his smile is what makes me like him so much. It contradicts the reminder of my abuser and I feel fine again.

Mentally I've been a lot happier, but my temper and emotions have been everywhere.

Im a lot more moody and easier to piss off, and a lot more intrusive and going back to old habits.

I've noticed that I've been aexualizing myself a lot more recently. Idk if it's a confidence boost in my appearance or what but it's mostly when I'm alone.

but overall life has been moody. It's mostly my mind contradicting it's self.

Like, my scars have completely faded and I miss them because I felt like it made me prettier, and I feel incomplete without them.

And then my classmates and old volleyball teammates are all fucking annoying. And then random niggas I don’t know are getting on my nerves.

Sometimes I wish I could go back, but Sometimes I wish I could stay. Contradiction this, Contradiction that.

I want something bad to happen to me, or least remember my trauma. I only remember snippets of what happened between me and my abuser, but I'm 95% sure he never like, SA'ed me or anything. But, my reactions stuff, especially sexual shit, I don't think it's only him, something else had to happen.

I have a guess, two actually. One of them is definitely not true because, no.

But, I have a really vague memory from when I was little, before I met my abuser.

I think it was 2nd grade, and a family member from my mom's side picked me up. I don't remember if it was a dream or reality.

All I remember after that though was my parents being fucking pissed at him, and my mom telling me that if he ever came to pick me up, don't go with him.

And my dad was pissed at him for years. Even saying to never let him in our house, even after he died.

Just, so much confusion and so little conformation.

I have memories of me being picked up from my bed and being taken to lord knows where. Memories from a house my parents had when I was a little babu.

I just. I just wanna remember the full picture.

[autumnwantsout]

Well I came out on Facebook. Autumn wants out and she came out. I’m feeling so much anxiety but I also feel relieved. This is what I posted. So far only one negative reaction.

“So there is someone I want you to meet. Her name is Autumn. And for most of you, you already have met her. I’ve known that she was with me since I was four years old. You all just couldn’t see her. Because she is inside me. At four I sat in a car seat and wondered why god made a mistake. I knew I wasn’t a boy and I didn’t have words for it, so I believed just like some people were born blind, I was born a girl in a boy’s body. She didn’t have a name back then, she was Dave. Then at a later point she was Davi, I remember my mom telling me that girls shorten their name with an i at the end, but I still wrote my name Davi. From about the ages of 6-8, I cursed my body and self harmed because I knew something was wrong, but it’s something that you “just don’t talk about”. Now my parents always loved me, they didn’t tell me not to talk about it, but somewhere I learned shame in my gender. To be quiet, so I was. And in that quiet Davi fell asleep. I knew I was different from the other boys though. I liked jewelry and art and music and movies that made me cry. I held a profound dislike of my body and every once in awhile dipped back into self harm. But I repressed those memories of believing in the true me. When I started dating my wife, my best friend called me a lesbian because I wore bright red pants and a woman’s jacket. Then at the age of 25, I remembered. It’s like it all came crashing down. All the years of repression and shame. I started reading about gender identity and working through my own experiences. I came out to my wife as nonbinary. I started wearing most of the clothes that I wanted to. But surely I was nonbinary and not a trans woman. I considered myself to be nonbinary until I was talking to a friend and said “If I could be born a cis woman, I would want that in an instant, but I’m still nonbinary. Also I’m considering hrt.” 😂 The moment I said that I realized, “Holy shit. I’m a trans woman.” Now I have known for a full year almost, but I have been terrified to come out. In this time in America, it seems like there is so much hate and fear of transgender people. I know that keeping silent though is hurting me and that now more than ever we need to be loud and stand together against injustice. So with a shaky voice, let me proudly say, ”I am Autumn””

#online diary #dear diary #trans woman #transgender #gender identity #my story #coming out