#my methy life

[no6secretsanta]

Art and Playlist for 

@twitchystitchwitch

From: @miszoblin

Happy Holidays!

I draw you a Inukashi listening to music on a walk with dog bc your request about playlist accually made me want to try making one! So here you go. 

It was my first time making playlist for character and I am so happy that this character was Inukashi!! Hope you like it and find it matching to Inukashi as I did. I made it mostly from the willing to survive that Inukashi had.

Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/12doCCnySxG3wRNtOjVaXi?si=07da178707b1434a 

playlist name on Spotify: Inukashi playlist while walking with dogs

Forever - Labrinth

I’ll live forever, I’ll live forever.

Revolution - The Score

All my wolves, begin to howlWake me up, the time is nowOh, can you hear the drumming?Oh, there’s a revolution coming

We Come Running - Youngblood Hawke

Under a pale blue skyYou never felt so coldAnother sleepless night

Never go where we belongEchoes in the dead of dawnSoon they’re gonna knowThe sound, the sound, the soundWhen we come running

Burning Pile - Mother Mother

All my troubles on a burning pileAll lit up and I start to smileIf I catch fire then I’ll change my aimThrow my troubles at the world again

Run Boy Run - Woodkid

Tomorrow is another dayAnd you won’t have to hide awayYou’ll be a man, boy!But for now it’s time to run, it’s time to run!

When Will I See You Again - Shakka (dedication to Nezumi)

But you know, you know I’ll see you againYou know, you know I’ll see you again

I Will Survive - J2

I know I’ll stay alive I’ve got all my life to live I’ve got all my love to give and I I will survive

They/Them/Theirs - Worries

What if I don’t want something that applies to me?What if there’s no better word than just not saying anything, anything?

Wolves of the Revolution - The Arcadian Wild

Born young and wildDon’t let them cut your tailJust a pinch of salt in the wound, you’ll be fineOne last lifeline, I’m hanging high

Who Are You, Really? - Mikky Ekko

Who, who are you really?And where are you going?I have nothing left to prove‘Cause I have nothing left to loseSee me bare my teeth for youWho, who are you?

Running With The Wolves - AURORA

Trick or treat, what would it be?I walk alone, I’m everythingMy ears can hear and my mouth can speakMy spirit talks, I know my soul believes

Eleanor Rigby - Cody Fry(dedication to all this clients of dogs hotel)

All the lonely peopleWhere do they all come from?All the lonely peopleWhere do they all belong?

My Goodbye - Jorge Rivera-Herrans

this song is anime! Inukashi and Nezumi talking.

This way, you won’t disappoint meThis way, you won’t waste my timeThis way, I’ll close the doorConsider this as my goodbye

At least I know what I’m fighting forWhy’s your life spent all alone?You’re alone

#submission #no. 6 #No. 6 Secret Santa #inukashi #playlist #twitchystitchwitch #miszoblin

[erotic-meloncholy]

End of Beginning

(Rated: E)

Wilson is out of his element. Wilson is a one woman lover. Wilson is confident. Wilson knows how to bring a woman to climax. He likes it. It makes him happy to please.

But Kyle is the one standing in a methy motel room on the side of the highway with two women looking at him like he knows what to do. He reaches a hand to run through his hair. Oh yeah, he's also wearing the stupid bald cap.

"Well, would you like a drink? I think we have" Wilson looks around the room, "tap water." Not that he suggests drinking it. They both look at each other with forced grins and laughs.

"I think we're good, thanks." Sandy says. Shannon nods in agreement.

"That's-- probably smart." Wilson says as he looks over at the not quite clear water dripping from the faucet.

He fiddles with the strap on his wrist. Avoids looking at the time. This is Wilson's fantasy. When he thought of a three way he pictured silk sheets and a canopy bed and a harem of gorgeous women worshiping his cock. Why does the reality feel like a group presentation that can't get the power point to load?

"So." Wilson says. "Should we start?" He hates himself immediately after he says it. Like he's about to perform clinic duty. But Sandy and Shannon simply shrug and start shimmying out of their tube tops and Ed Hardy jeans.

Kyle takes off his watch.

House tries to find an angle that works for his leg in this mid-life crisis size car. He manages a few moments. Sleeps never easy under any circumstance let alone outside Bates motel. When he finds an angle that works, he waits in the dark for the thoughts to visit him before he crosses the threshold to REM sleep. Hypnagogic hallucinations. Those obscure weird almost realities.

Like Putting a bald cap on Wilson and conning women into sex. Couldn't have happened, right? It sounds like a bad B-plot from a network sitcom.

But mission accomplished. As far as bucket list items go, a three way is pretty low hanging fruit, but it's Wilson. And if Wilson wants, House will give.

So that's how House finds himself in the middle of nowhere while Wilson, pardon, while Kyle is attempting to "Vicky Christina and Barcelona" in a Super 8.

Wilson is lying on his back against scratchy hotel sheets. Sandy is riding his hips as he tries to keep the bald cap from sliding off.

"Yeah, you like that baby? Huh? You like that?"

Wilson is being ridden like a Pogo stick. The mattresses bounces with vigor and he's doing his best to be encouraging.

"Oh, oh yeah. Yeah. Keep--keep going. Ride my--cane."

Ride my cane? The fuck is wrong with him? Sandy doesn't care what nonsense spills out of his mouth as long as his dick is hard, and Shannon seems to be expecting something from Kyle that Wilson doesn't know how to give.

If he can last.

House laughs. Wilson's people pleasing no doubt would make him an over attentive lover. The anxiety of feeling he's let down a partner must be sending his compulsions into overdrive.

How long could he last with two women? How long can he last with one? He pictures as his hand snaps open the button on his jeans.

He's always so attentive. So ready to please. What would he do to please House if he needed it? House zips down his fly. Thinking of Wilson fucking his way through his fantasy is making House extremely needy. That's the word for it, House thinks as he wraps his hand around his dick, needy.

He's needy for Wilson. He wants to give him this. He wants to bring him to climax even if it isn't his body. He's thinking about Wilson fucking someone right now and House strokes faster.

"Fuck. Yeah, James..."

He moves his hand over his aching cock. Thinking of Wilson on the precipice of orgasm. Thinking how he's probably in that dirty motel right now buried balls deep in that bottle blonde he met two hours ago. How good he feels to be inside her.

"Oh God. Yes..."

House is getting close. In this way, they're together. Both racing towards climax. Maybe there's a universe they come together.

He pictures it. House closes his eyes and finishes in right there in the car, catching his spend in his hand, narrowly avoiding leaving any evidence. He finds a napkin on the floor from their last fast food run and wipes his hand clean and tosses the napkin out the window.

House tucks himself back in, zips up his jeans, and leans his head back against the window. Pictures soft lips against his own. Hypnagogic hallucinations he thinks. And a few moments later, falls asleep.

Wilson finds House the next morning in the car. He doesn't look very comfortable. He wants to invite House to stay a day in the motel. Catch up on some sleep in an actual bed. But this is Kyle. And Kyle says let's leave before Sandra and Shannon wake up and see exactly how not bald and clearly not dying he is. Not tomorrow that is.

“House. Wake up.”

#hilson fic #hilson

[bexatthedesk]

"Sunrise Over Tyrant Mountain"

This particular piece is very special to me because I attempted it years ago, when I first started digital art. The character, Safír, was my original dragon character, inspired by pernese novels. He took on a life of his own and started my own fantasy world, Methy. Safír is also my non-business handle “bluedrgnMethy” for Blue Dragon of Methy.

Digital Painting. Original Dimensions: 8x10"

You can buy it here.

For fine art prints you can choose your preferred size, paper type, and frame type. You can also get it printing on canvas, metal, acrylic, and wood!

#dragon #dragon art #dragon oc #dragon character #dragon artist #mine #landscape #mountains #sunrise #fantasy #fantasy art #fantasy world #fantasy illustration #art for sale #for sale #art prints

[confessions-official]

idk what 2 warn this as. abuse?? grooming?? toxic relationship probably, sry. also the r, n, and f slur

when i was 13 i entered a long-distance "relationship" with (at the time) an australian 15 yearold and it was sososo great from what i can remember. my memory is shit so i cant remember very much from then but i remember it being very nice. we had a conversation about her feminity (at the time she didnt know she was trans) and i said some shit (HEAVILY paraphrasing) reminding her that she could just Be a girl if she wanted and then she Did. and then i had a girlfriend it was a very nice year. anyway.

few months after that it was fine but then everything kept dissolving into arguments. and idk if i'm just kinda fucked up and neurotic (i tend to react badly 2 rejection of any kind and that wasnt her fault whatsoever) but i think most of the arguments were about me being upset that we werent playing a game together or me feeling left out. we both had a mutual friend and we did so much shit together.

and then it just kept getting worse! the arguments escalated (or they were getting more direct i dont think it was ever about the games) and instead of games the arguments were about how she was treating me. i repeatedly accused her of ignoring the uglier parts of me in favor of my "caring nature". idk how to describe it. i strongly felt, and still kind of feel that she just wanted me to be her mommy who would shower her in endless affection, because whenever i would get into a gloomier mood (because of her or not, mostly not) she would take offense to it.

i also have. anger issues? idk i'm very reactive sometimes and it also forced a lot of arguments out over useless shit

i also sent her a package at some point with a hoodie and some fucking thigh socks she encouraged me to buy when i was eleven or ten. unfortunately it took like 4 months to show up and it felt like every single moment of our time together was her asking about the package. When was it coming has the status changed yet is it in australia yet? it pissed me off so much because it felt like she was just!! using me for clothes!! but i also understand because her family is a crock of shit who wouldn't accept or support her wearing or buying more feminine clothing, and this was one of the only ways she could feel girly.

it eventually bubbled over to the point where i blocked her on all social media platforms and we began arguing heatedly over email. and she sent me this wonderful string of emails where she was kissing/asking to kiss me (something that i fucking HATE – i do not want to be flirted with or called petnames while we argued, i nake this very clear), telling me that we both loved each other, and sent methis fantastic fucking email about how she was excited to see me hang myself on facebook whilst also calling me an unlovable neurodivergent retard.

i have it saved on my phone and it honestly makes me laugh now because of how fucking weirdly its worded. like a bad 4chan copypasta. but anyway lol

that hit especially awful at the time bc i was researching autism because i was 99% sure something wasnt clicking in my brain AND i was having ongoing issues with my mom. i had a massive breakdown in which i stopped speaking to her for 6 months which were the most miserable points of my life. i had to switch emails bc she just kept spamming me while i was having a meltdown!

i think i just got overbearingly lonely at that point bc sometime in 2023 iirc i reached out to her again and we got back together! somehow.

the arguments got even worse and we were on-and-off for a Long time. i was regularly blocking her and arguing with her every other day-ish and jesus fucking christ it was awful! Bad!!!

then our mutual friend turned out to be transphobic and she continued being friends with him ?! and this still really confuses me bc.. i remember being in a voice call with him and he was repeatedly using the incorrect pronouns and did not respond seriously when i corrected him. and i brought it up with her multiple times and she was like Naw dont worry about it??? idk man maybe theres something i was missing???

there was also this time that i told her about how i got groomed twice when i was younger because i trusted her to not tell anyone about it. and then she turned around and Told Our Mutual Friend about it. >_>

AND THE WHOLE GENDER SHIT i'm someone who uses every/all pronouns interchangably and is somewhat genderfluid. i came out to her multiple times because she. kept forgetting i wasnt cis!

at the time i was just using "all pronouns" but my gf kept using feminine terms for me and she/her prns for me and i kept asking her to stop doing that. but she did not. so it turned into an argument where i was telling her that i didnt want her to cherrypick the parts of my identity she liked the most and that i wasnt even a woman. it took her multiple months afterwards to even Begin using masculine terms for me >_> altho it is mainly my fault because i didnt really specify what i meant by "all pronouns" (but she also never asked !?)

recently, about 3~ weeks ago, like a week before my bday, we broke up again. this time it was way messier because i'm not moving my email again. its also permanent i would rather someone put me down than make me go back to talking to her

i finally realized that a newly 15 year old Shouldn't be dating someone who was going to turn 18 in the same fucking year! i blocked her on everything, bur she still had my email so we were arguing over Email again. she went on a racist tangent, repeatedly calling me a stupid white girl and refering to me with the n-slur in the same sentence (i am of mixed race). she also told me it was fine because she was also mixed race and "i'm calling you my homie" which is. yeah! i think she also said something abt me being a fag or whatever but maybe not. i deleted most of her emails as they came in so i dont remember >_>

i also said some awful transphobic shit to her about her pretending to be a girl so she could get closer to me which i. cannot say how much i regret saying that awful crap! it's definitely not reflective of my opinions and my morals, i was trying to get under her skin at the time and more some fucking reason that seemed like the best thing to dig my nails into. it was fucked up with me and if things werent like how they are i would apologize for it immediately.

i havent talked to her since the racist shit nor do i really want to but shes began spamming me with different accounts on another social media platform we're both on. and idk what im going to end up doing about it other than blocking.

these last like 3 years have been Dog Shit i tell ya! sorry 4 the long ask also DEAR GOD ??

 

#confession #grooming mention #f slur #r slur

[its-izaak]

night of my fucking life 🤘

// @riddle-methis

@a-blazeof-glory

#// not my images #tw alcohol

[mypoeticsoul-ny]

Meth

I close my eyes and I see you

Your eyes, your smile and heart so true

Still feel my hand within your own

My armour’s crumbling though it is stone

I close my eyes and I’m with you

I see same sadness in you too

You are my oxygen, my air

We ask the gods why life’s unfair

I close my eyes and you are near

And with you here I have no fear

You have become my every thought

Within your web you have me caught

I am your prisoner, your prey,

You’ve captured me in every way

I think of you between each breath

You are my ardent dose of meth

©2021 - MyPoeticSoulNy(-mps)

#spilledink #originalwriting #author #poetcommunity #twc #literature #lit #poetsociety #poemoftheday #write #writer #writing #wordporn #writerscommunity #poetryismydrug #love #lovepoem #longing #words #relationships #feelings #inkskinned #inkstay #writerscreed #writeundertheinfluence #poeticstories

[hyuckieslove]

hiiiiiii (again)! is there anything coming up in your life that you're looking forward to? and can you do chenle + royalty please thank you

qotd - what's your favorite cuisine? i really like hong kong food but also chinese cuisine

hihi! nothing big - as much as i don't want school (and testing) to start again, i'm looking forward to see my friends more often! (and my family less lol)

chenle <;33

qotd - ooh i think korean :) my dad who cooks all the time, and korean food is really just comfort food to me. my favorite would probably be 김치찌개 or kimchi stew ^^

or indian food! one of my friends is indian and she's always bringing food her family cooked and it's always super super good. methi dal (is that right?) is def one of my favorites :)

[paracosmspring]

How to Make Your Own Author Being

You can create an author being or you can ask me to create it for you. If you are joining my patreon at the Paracosm Spring tier, then you can get an author being design for yourself as a reward. For those who want to create their own, here’s a step-by-step guide to create one that is “canon”.

What is your creative talent? The easiest author being types are writers and artists, but any creative talent can result in an author being. This is a requirement if you are specifically making an author being, but you can be creative. (For example, a person able to make creative solutions in a business is just as much an author being as a writer, even if they don’t have a paracosm)

You can give your talent a cool name too! Ell is considered a wordsmith. 

Caveat: those with no creative talents are considered personas. Go to the “What’s your alias” section for more. 

Examples: Bex: artist (Illustrator) and writer Ell: writer, poet, and storyteller

What’s your author power? From your talent, determine your power or powers. These are directly connected to your talent but they can be just as creative. A painter can brush landscapes or objects into life, a writer can speak something into existence, but perhaps an actor can become any persona they want just by acting it out? 

They key is “creative” talents. Author being powers are most commonly used to bring things to life or alter things that exist. However, there’s nothing against an author who has to erase things before they can create. 

Examples:  Bex: drawing things into existence Ell: speaking things into existence An origami maker brings their creations to life

What’s your “world”? A lot of authors have original worlds, but a lot don’t. You don’t have to have your own dedicated world to be an author being. You can also have an alternate universe or a fan world. You can even just really like an already established one. 

Out of character advice: If you decide to choose a world of another creator, keep in mind that your author being will not have absolute control over the world. They may not even be able to change things in that world at all.  This can be used to create some really cool disadvantages to work around, like only being able to create things and not alter, or only able to alter the world within a bubble. This is why a lot of creators like having AUs. 

Another option is to have no dedicated world. These authors travel junction and pop in and out of domains at their leisure. They are usually more aloof, but can be freer with their powers. Travelers can use some really wild styles of powers because of the sheer power of imagination. They may have a world and also like to travel as well. 

Examples: Bex: Methy, Grior Ell: Rajin, Luumbelir

What’s your alias? Most author beings already have an original character or fan character they use. Creating an alias is the same as creating a self-insert persona. An alias allows an author being to go “undercover” in a domain. 

Original Worlds: Most authors needn’t worry about an alias while in their own worlds, but it can be fun. You have total control over your world while in it, so you can use a high-profile alias or a low-profile one, or none at all!  

Other Creator’s World: If you’re in another creator’s world, especially a famous one, creating a fan character is necessary. There are many ways to go about this and it depends on the domain and the author being’s tastes. Just keep in mind, this is YOU taking on a ROLE. Your author being is the superhero and the alias is the mild-mannered ego. 

Some questions to think about: 

How does your backstory fit into the plot without breaking it?

Are you an NPC? Or do you interact with the main cast?

If you interact with main characters, how is your alias involved?

Does your alias change canon? Does your alias exist in an AU only?

Does your alias belong to one “episode”? Or do they stay or an arc?

You don’t have to create a whole story behind your fan alias, unless you want to. If you already have a story, it’s pretty easy to establish where the alias ends and the author begins. 

Travelers: If a traveler spends all his time in junction, they don’t need an alias. Most of the time they’ll only interact with other authors or characters who already know about author beings. However, if they travel to multiple domains, they’ll need multiple aliases. Thus, being a traveler is not for those who can’t keep track of them. 

What is your alias’s form? This goes along with creating a character. If it’s a self-insert, what parts of yourself are you keeping? What parts are you changing? 

Most of the time an alias will be humanoid. An author’s powers allow them to change their appearance to suit where they are (if they know how to). They can use this to alter their form to personal preferences or change aliases. 

In worlds where only animals are characters, the world usually forces an author into an animal form. This usually follows the author’s personal preferences as well--they aren’t going to be turned into something they despise or are deathly afraid of. For example, if an author goes to a place where snakes are the only characters, and they are deathly afraid of snakes, they might be turned into a plausible animal or just back into their author form. 

Examples: Bex stays in her alias form most of the time, but has other aliases (human in Legend of Zelda or Mass Effect, or winged unicorn for My Little Pony) Ell: changes depending on domain

What’s your alias’s powers? This is usually decided when you create a persona. Here are some questions to think about:

Do the author being powers present themselves in the alias? How do or do you not keep them secret?

How do your alias’s powers fit within the world? 

Are your alias’s powers canon? Do they follow the rules?

How powerful is your alias? 

It’s really anything goes, but the point is NOT to make a mary-sue. Powers can be one of the hardest things to come up with in a world. If you’re working with a fan-character, think of what is already present in the story and work within those confines. Creating a powerful character doesn’t have to be overpowerful—maybe they excel in one thing and it gives them an advantage. 

Remember that all powers have their weaknesses or that they don’t always apply to every situation. If your character insists on using powers in every situation, it could cause problems. They might have to accept being a villain if they fireball everything in sight. 

Examples: Bex: solar ririni magic, battle magic; weaknesses: no healing, Ell: Light ririni magic, healing

What’s  your Author Being form? Here’s the fun part. 

First off, decide if your author being form is different, similar, or the same as your alias. Then decide where the alias stops and the Author Being starts. 

Do they use author powers and alias powers separately? Do they only use Author Being powers in private? What circumstances would break that rule for them?

Does a symbol appear on them as an author being? Or do they change their form completely?

Do they have a dedicated Author outfit?

Do they change personality traits? Use a different demeanor?

Are they animal or human in Author Being form? Both? Neither?

Hack: Think about their talents and powers and how that can be shown in their author form. 

Example:  Bex: her ririni form is her author form, but her human form wears a bandana and white duster

What’s your author weapon? Author weapons are specific to the type of Author Being they are. There is a dormant form and an awakened form. 

In dormant form they take on an appearance of a tool or as a piece of jewelry. The weapon stays in dormant form if they are in their alias form, unless the author is actively using it. 

The awakened form is an actual weapon. It is extremely personal to the author who uses it. It can be any weapon

Example:  Bex: Bex has a shapeshifting rapier/sidesword Ell: Ell has a  whip

Extras Transportation: Your author being doesn’t have to walk everywhere. Do they have a form of transportation? A trusty steed or cool vehicle? It can be world specific too—maybe they have a motorcycle for modern worlds, and a horse for premodern. 

Items: Just like a roleplay character, they might have many tools that help them. Bags of holding are very common in fantasy worlds, and author beings love them! Fill them up! 

Party/character companions: Do they have a pet or are they alone all the time? Do they change friend groups or have a dedicated party to adventure with?

#author being #authorbeing #how to #tutorial

[welidot]

Irfan Khan Pathan

This Biography is about one of the best Professional Cricketer  of the world Irfan Khan Pathan including his Height, weight, Age & Other Detail… Express info Real Name Irfan Khan Pathan Nick Name Batati Profession Indian Cricketer (Bowling All-rounder) Age (as in 2023) 38 Years old Physical Stats & More Info Height in centimeters- 183 cm in meters- 1.83 m in Feet Inches- 6’ 0” Weight in Kilograms- 73 kg in Pounds- 161 lbs Eye Color Brown Hair Color Black Tattoos N/A Personal Life of Irfan Pathan Date of Birth 27 October 1984 Birth Place Baroda, Gujarat, India Nationality Indian Hometown Baroda, Gujarat, India School MES High School, Baroda College N/A Family Father- Mehmood Khan Pathan Mother- Samimbanu Pathan Brother- Yusuf Pathan (Cricketer, Step-brother) Sisters- Shagufta Pathan (Younger) Best Friends Robin Uthappa Religion Islam Home Address KISHORE PATIL, Vadodara, Halol Hobbies Playing cricket, table tennis and volleyball Cricket History Of  Irfan Pathan International Debut Test- 12 December 2003 vs Australia in Adelaide ODI- 9 January 2004 vs Australia in Melbourne T20- 1 December 2006 vs South Africa in Johannesburg Domestic/State Team Middlesex, Kings XI Punjab, India, Delhi Daredevils, India Blue, India A, Baroda, India Red, Sunrisers Hyderabad, Chennai Super Kings IPL Team Rising Pune Supergiants Nature on field Aggressive Jersey Number #56 (India) #56 (IPL, County Cricket) Career Turning Point Selection in the Indian Test squad against Australia in 2003. Records Quickest Indian ODI player to get 100 wicket (in 59 matches) In 2003 Under - 19 World Cup, he took 9 wickets against Bangladesh and set a world record for the most wickets in an ODI. He took 3 important wickets in the first T20 World Cup final in South Africa against Pakistan, and was given the Man of the Match award. Favourite Ball In Swing Likes To Play Again Pakistan Favourite Things Of Irfan Pathan Favourite Food Biryani, Paya, mixed veg., mango and methi keema Favourite Player Batsman: Sachin Tendulkar, Mahendra Singh Dhoni, Hashim Amla and Viv Richards Bowler: Wasim Akram and Dale Steyn Favourite Actor Amitabh Bachchan and Salman Khan Favourite Colors Blue,White Favourite Sports Cricket Favourite Music Take my breath away - Top Gun Favourite Destination Australia Favourite Movie Hera Pheri Girls , Affairs and More Of  Irfan Pathan Marital Status Married Affairs Shivangi Dev, Safa Baig (Model) Wife Safa Baig (Model) Marriage Date 4 February 2016 Children Son- Imran Khan Pathan (born in 2016) Style Of Irfan Pathan Cars Collection N/A Bikes Collection N/A Earning Money of Irfan Pathan Net Worth $3 million Salary Per Match Rs 25 Lakh per annum (Retainership Fees) Per Test Match  7 lakh Per ODI Match  4 lakh Per T20 Match  2 lakhs This Biography written by www.welidot.com Read the full article

[greer-writing]

Saturday 2/11/2023

METhis one might be long, and it might be hard. 

Do you ever do something... you feel like its the right thing for you... you knew it wasn’t really ethical but you did it anyways, because it felt good? I miss those days the only thing that sucked is the fact that those days were always followed with regret.. To me it was worth it though, in the end at least. Honestly, I miss it daily it kills me.... I miss sneaking around, doing things I normally wouldn’t do... and as I grow in my mental health journey I realize all the things I did where because of mania... uncontrolled emotions and feelings.I got off by walking up those two flights of stairs. I got off by his friend walking in on us. I got off on late night pizza trips and early morning starbuck runs. I got off on the fact that I mattered more than anything else... even if it was a fling, of a FWB situation. I remember driving at 2am to come see you, I actually loved you.. I left things with you that where important to me, clothes and jewelry... What gets me though is the fact that even with you there where red flags... Tons of them. I ignored them for a reason, I acted color blind for a reason. My life was a chaotic mess and I thrived on that shit... I even bragged about it to an extent. Even caught in the act i would do nothing but laugh in the face of my accuser and keep being the person i was being. 

I am no longer that person but i will not lie when I say I think about it often... I don’t have to deal with the regret, shame, and abuse.... but it’s also what made me ME at the time. Now that I am no longer that person, I’m not entirely sure who I am. I think that is where I got stuck.... finding that happy medium of happy and not stuck. Honestly....Being with Raenen was the largest mistake of my life, but every person I cheated on him with was not. It was all a lesson within that class of my life. Raenen was the teacher and all these people who interfered where other students. That is the only way I know to look at the whole thing...... I don’t regret it. I might have hated the teacher but I sure as fuck got a long with most to all of my class mates. That is such a WEIRD metaphor but here we are.. making all the sense. It was also incredibly exhausting, having to hide everything and cover every single track. Meh. I am honestly just glad its over and I found the girl that doesn’t want to be that person again.... no matter how much I miss the adrenaline. 

Glad I found her.

-K

#divorce #break up #cheating

[poetman1975]

"Whispered On The Wind"

Life’s not aboutburning bridges of the past,but aboutbuilding new roadsto the future of prosperity. Not justa golden iconic ivory tower,when greedrules our hearts,but where loveis king of a world so brilliant. Can you give methis much feeding my faith,while apathyfades like a ghostin the dark as empathy emerges, from a human soulthat was beaten and bruised,yet risesto the occasionout of the…

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[healthy-lifesty1e]

Shopping in Rajasthan: Top 4 Things to Buy for Lifelong Memories

Exquisite Jewellery

Rajasthan is the centre of the hand-carved gemstone and jewellery industry. Whether you are looking for silver jewellery, gold jewellery, kundan, meena or carved jewellery, Rajasthan is the place where you can find them in unique style and design.

Also, it is the largest centre for hand-carved gemstones such as; Ruby, Emerald, Garnet, Agate, Amethyst, Topaz and more.

Where to Get It: Johari Bazaar in Jaipur is a godsend for jewellery lovers. In fact, Jaipur thrives on some of India's finest jewellery, offering not only gold or silver jewellery, but also hand-cut precious and semi-precious stones and precious stones.

Check my related post:- Rajasthan

Miniature Paintings

Rajasthan is one of the pioneer sites of miniature paintings in India, popularly known as Mughal paintings. These paintings were tinted by Rajasthani painters who depict the royal and romantic life of the Mughals in their paintings. 

Where to Buy: Hathi Pol Bazar in Udaipur is the place where you can get all the miniature paintings. This market is packed not only with tourists but also with locals.

Check my homepage:- Fitsbuzz

Aromatic Spices

Anyone visiting the state should explore the Spice Markets to shop for fine aromatic spices as the state is known as the 'King of Spices'. The essence of the spices is pure and tasty. Haldi (Turmeric), Jeera (Cumin), Dhaniya (Coriander Seed), Saunf (Fennel Seed), Methi Dana (Fenugreek Seed), Kalonji (Black Cumin), Ajwain (Carambola Seed), Laung (Clove Scent) are some of must have. Collect spices from Rajasthan.

Where to Buy: Ghanta Ghar or the Clock Tower Market in Jodhpur is the best place to buy spices in Rajasthan. The market offers the best red chilli from Mathania.

Check my other posts: Healthy Lifestyle and Weight Loss

Jodhpuri Juttis 

Jodhpuri Jodis are available in countless colours, patterns and ranges and are very popular. These pure leather beauties add a touch of royalty to any outfit. Referred to as “Mojaris”.

Where to get it: Mochi Bazar or Coblet Market in Jodhpur is the one-stop shop for all types of Rajasthani shoes.

Check this website:- Expressing soul

[lifewithoutalu]

Summers have just started and I am already missing winter! I had a whole ritual of putting Prisha to bed and then making a hot cup of cocoa and curl up in front of the fireplace. My favorite dinner during winter months is Methi Saag Paratha with Alu Sabji and Moong Dal Halwa. Tell me, do you also crave for a warm sweet treat? If yes, then I have the perfect dish for you - Moong Dal ka Halwa (Indian Yellow Lentils Dessert). This yummylicious dessert also tastes great in summer! To find the recipe, click on my instagram story and click on the link. Or go to the 'Cookies, Muffins, Cakes, Pies and Indian Desserts' section of my blog Life Without Alu? and look for the article - Moong Dal ka Halwa (Indian Yellow Lentils Dessert) Or click on the below link: https://lifewithoutalu.blogspot.com/2018/12/moong-dal-ka-halwa.html . . #lifewithoutalu #homemade #delicious #deliciousfood #recipeonblog #easyrecipe #easyrecipes #easyrecipesathome #greattaste #moongdal #moongdalhalwa #yellowlentils #lentil #indiandessert #dessert #desserts #dessertporn #madewithlove #wintertreats #summertreats #yummyisyummy https://www.instagram.com/p/CduY5r_M1vI/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

#lifewithoutalu #homemade #delicious #deliciousfood #recipeonblog #easyrecipe #easyrecipes #easyrecipesathome #greattaste #moongdal #moongdalhalwa #yellowlentils #lentil #indiandessert #dessert #desserts #dessertporn #madewithlove #wintertreats #summertreats #yummyisyummy

[cosmicrhetoric]

omg my second life energy bowl of khichdi in two months

#am quickly realizing that khichdi despite not being something i like to eat very often #is my life power restoring carb reintroduction #this one had a bunch of stuff i am normally not into (methi) but shes warm she's got protein #inspiring a full ratatouille moment #personal

[eliasbouchardsgender]

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#next thing was #idk what kind of weird crap us artists do on a daily basis to gather references #but today I remembered that 3 years ago I took a selfie of my face covered in blood bc my flatmate punched me in the face and broke my nose #my mind was dissociating so badly as I was looking at myself in the mirror #so I went ''oh better document this shit if anyone is to come at methis shit looks pretty" #je parle #I know this is bad and I'm glad this person isn't part of my life anymore #but I look so done in the picture and it's perfect to understand how the real things act and not synthetic blood which is cold and thicker #idk where this post is going I didn't feel like tweeting it but I needed to say this out loud

[jimlingss]

Kitchen Romance

➜ Words: 11.1k

➜ Genres: 95% Fluff, 5% Angst, Chef!AU

➜ Summary: You come from a long line of matchmakers. Your ancestors' ancestors were matchmakers and it's all because of a special, inborn gift. A gift that allows you to see each person's fated ones above their heads. But it's not so much a gift when one day, your boss walks in with YOU above him.

cr.

The kitchen is in chaos.

The heat swelters in the still air, stifling with the summer warmth that’s forced most people indoors with air conditioning. But here, there’s no such privilege. Not when open fires on frying pans were at every stovetop and grease was splattering everyone like a water fountain show. You feel yourself being roasted alive, a layer of oil sitting on top of your skin, and there’s barely a moment to wipe away the sweat rolling from your hairline.   Your hands are wrinkled as you scrub down the nth dish from the pile that’s stacked above your head, but before you can finish, Taehyung’s desperately calling out for you. You shout back at him that you’re coming and then you’re helping him peel the potatoes.   There’s no room to complain. Especially not when—   “What is this?!”    For a moment, time itself stops.   The pandemonium halts, fire flickering, knives held mid-air. Everyone’s head has swiveled over to the dark-haired man standing at the end of the island. Kim Seokjin holds up a plate of baked salmon with methi prawns. His plump lips are pulled downwards. That’s never a good sign.   “The presentation is sloppy!” he yells and you flinch from the sheer volume of his booming voice. “Are you people blind?! We can’t serve this! It’s an embarrassment! Do it again!”   “Yes, chef!”    Everyone apologizes, including you, and Seokjin huffs, moving out of the kitchen.   Namjoon, sous-chef, shakes his head. “Focus! Dinner service hasn't even begun yet!”   Luckily, everyone’s on edge and meticulous enough with Seokjin walking around and scrutinizing every action that the rest of the night goes off without another hitch. By the end, you’re finishing up on cleaning and washing the dishes.   “Good night, Y/N.” Jihyo waves, bag strap slung on her shoulder.   “See you.” You muster a smile while you keep scrubbing. “Bye.”    “Night,” Yoongi says while Taehyung fixes you a grin. You watch them leave and then focus on completing the rest of your tasks. It’s not long before you’re switching all the lights off and changing from your uniform.    The walk back to your apartment proves to be excruciating. You’re beyond exhausted, lugging your legs along to carry the rest of your body while forcing your eyes to remain open, so you can at least see where you’re going.    When the door opens, you immediately jump into the shower to wash off the grime, nearly falling asleep in the process. By the time you flop onto your bed, your hair is still dripping wet, but as your muscles ease into the mattress, you’re knocked out into a deep slumber.   Rest is merely a blink of time.   The alarm on your phone is blaring before you can dream or feel even remotely refreshed. It’s deafening to your ears and you reach over to shut it off. Finding the sun already up in the sky, you force yourself to sit up, get ready, grab breakfast and eat on your way to work.   “If it’s too hard, you should come home,” the voice on the other side of the line coaxes. “Your dad and I are so worried about you sometimes.”   “I’m fine, mom.” You’re chewing in your cheek, phone sandwiched between your ear and your shoulder as you parade down the block. “Trust me.”   “Have you at least been eating well?”   You glance at the granola bar in hand. “Yeah. Sort of.”   “The city is scary. There’s no shame in coming home, dear. Your grandma misses you a lot. She always asks about you.”   “I’m fine, mom,” you reassure her for the second time. “I really am. And tell grandma—”   Accidentally, your shoulder collides with a businessman’s. Apologies spring from you, but rather than looking at the stranger like you should be, your eyes unintentionally wander above his head. To the cloud of fog. And a woman’s smiling face you see emerge from it.   The man’s brows lift at how you’re staring into space and he moves out of the way.   You’re forced out of your trance and you continue to apologize until he’s completely gone from sight. You damn yourself for not being more careful.   You come from a long line of matchmakers. Your ancestors’ ancestors were matchmakers.    Your mother once told you that back in the day, some peasants in your family couldn’t sew, sell or do any labour, so they begged heavens and out of pity, they were granted a small gift. A gift that’s been passed down to every generation since. While you’re not sure if the story is true or not, what’s certain is that from the moment you were born, you could see a cloud of fog above everyone’s head. It’s like speech bubbles or thought bubbles in comic strips. But instead of words, the fog comes with another person’s face. It’s the one who they’re meant to be with.   Ironically enough, you’ve never seen one above your own head. Though you’ve come to accept that. Romance will never be a major aspect of your life, so you’ve switched gears into focusing on your career and finding fulfillment elsewhere. You also knew early on that you didn’t want to be a matchmaker like the rest of your family.   You want to be a—   “Good morning, chef.”   “Good morning.” Namjoon nods with a smile. “Things weren’t too bad yesterday, but let’s try to be less sloppy for dinner service tonight. Hoseok, what time is the shipment of seafood coming in?”   Namjoon continues going through the daily routine, updating each person on the schedule and the shipments. But it’s not long during the morning meeting in the kitchen that the back door creaking can be heard.    Instantly, everything comes to a halt. Everyone turns themselves and greets the head chef simultaneously.    Seokjin rounds the corner. “We have a lot to do today, people. Tonight’s special is going to be watermelon with smoked salmon mousse—”   You gasp.   Automatically, your hands lift to cover your mouth, yet too late to muffle the loud noise. Your eyes are as large as saucers. Your heart stutters in your chest, nearly giving out.   Instead of the polished brunette woman above Seokjin’s head that was always there, you see someone else. Someone very familiar that you’ve seen in the mirror a thousand times. You.   You’re frozen — palms clammy, knees weak. And everyone’s turned around to stare, even Kim Seokjin himself. His brow is cocked and he eyes you intensely for daring to interrupt him.   “Are you okay?” Jihyo whispers, leaning in and nudging you with her elbow.   You start to breathe again, frantically. Yet no matter how much you gasp for air, you can’t feel the oxygen entering your lungs. But you force yourself to bow your head anyway, retaining an exterior that’s not oozing of sheer panic. “S-S-Sor..ry. I…. have something in my throat.” You clear it and Seokjin sighs, continuing with what he was saying.   The first task is to wash the salad and it’s easy enough, but your eyes continue to wander up to the dark-haired, doe-eyed man from across the kitchen. Black shirt with a white apron around his waist, he emanates intimidation from his god-like looks alone and constant frown.   Your eyes connect and you instantaneously whip yourself around.   You start to sweat when Seokjin beelines to you.   “Do you have an issue with me?”   You shake your head furiously.   “Then focus!” the man spits. “You’re drowning the salad!”   You wince as he slams the faucet down.   This can’t be. This can’t be it. It doesn’t make sense whatsoever.   On your break, you’re crouched over by the bathrooms and much to your dismay, your mom is hysterically laughing at you. “Just because you never saw your match, doesn’t mean you’re alone, Y/N! Poor soul, where did you ever get that idea from? No one can see their own. I didn’t and neither did your aunt or grandma.”   “Why didn’t you tell me that?” The syllables hiss out of you and you spare a glance over your shoulder to make sure no one’s coming.    You’ve come to accept that you would never be romantically involved with anyone. To find out that Seokjin, your boss, is your match out of everyone, it’s taking you for a hysteric spin.   “I thought you already knew!” she exclaims on the other line. “Plus, nothing comes from knowing your own. But who is it? Are you going to bring them home? I would love to know what sort of person is going to end up with my dear daughter. Oh, your grandma will be so excited to hear the news!” “Now’s not the time, mom,” you grieve, palm pressed to your forehead. There’s an overwhelming urge to cry. “I’m never going to end up with him.”   “You can’t change fate, Y/N.”   “Fate changes all the time.”   “Are you okay?” There’s a lower voice behind you and you flinch, turning around to see Hoseok’s alarmed expression.    You stand up, apologizing internally as you hang up on your mom. “Sorry. It...was a family emergency. But everything’s fine.”   “Okay. Well, Namjoon wants you to grab some more flour from the storage room.”   “I’ll be right on it.”    You swiftly return back to work before you risk losing your job any more than you have today. But all the while, you damn yourself. This is the worst thing that could’ve happened.    You ending up with Kim Seokjin, the scary boss that notoriously fires people in your position, is the last thing you wanted to occur. It’s like you’re living in a nightmare where you’re the only one who’s aware of your own dire circumstances and inevitable doom.   //   “Would it be that bad if he fell in love with you?” Hyoyeon eyes you lazily from across the table as she stirs her drink with her straw. She’s one of your oldest friends who happen to live in the city and one of the few who knows about your gift.   “Yes. It would be that bad!” You’re exasperated. You thought she would be up and arms about it like you are. “How could I ever look at my boss like that?!”   “You never know,” Hyoyeon sing-songs much to your chagrin.   “Don’t give me that. How would you like it if your boss fell in love with you?”   “My boss is a Karen going into her sixties.”   “Exactly.”   Her lips pop off her straw, wearing a visage of distaste. “This and that aren’t the same, Y/N. I didn’t think Soobin would be with me and when you told me, I was mad. But look at us now! He’s not half bad.”   “You’re married.”   “Precisely.” She laughs, practically glowing from happiness. “And you know, Seokjin isn’t bad either. He’s like what? Only a few years older than you. Ambitious. Wealthy. Handsome. He did that one photoshoot for that magazine and he was so goddamn handsome. Like holy fuck, I almost got pregnant from just—”   “Alright. I get it.”   “—and he’s like one of the top chefs of the country. Imagine having that kind of food for the rest of your life.”   “That’s not going to happen,” you mumble. If it changed once, it can change again.   The more you think about it, the more assured you become. You’ll do everything in your power to change it.   //   The kitchen has fallen into a lull.    Jihyo, the pantry chef, works on tossing salads while the butcher chef, Yoongi, is filleting fresh tuna. Sauté chef Hoseok is preparing his piccata sauce while you help Taehyung, the entremetier, with ingredients for the soup. Everyone has their designated roles here, most of which are fancier than yours. As a kitchen assistant, if you aren’t helping Taehyung then you’re washing dishes. But everyone needed to start from somewhere, so you aren’t going to complain. Working for Kim Seokjin is a privilege, albeit, he’s fearsome and hard to please.   You clear your throat. “Has...anyone seen that woman lately?”   Taehyung turns his head. “Who?”   “That woman came to the restaurant a few times and was with Chef Kim....”    A petite and dainty physique. Long, dark hair. Her eyes glimmered in the light and her pinked lips pulled softly when she greeted you all. She was poised, oozed of grace, sophistication, money. And she was the one who you saw above Seokjin’s head since you met him. Hell, you saw him above her head, and while you were surprised that in spite of his scariness, he actually had someone, they strangely suited each other well.   They were supposed to be together.    Until recently.   You wonder what happened. What the change was. Why you’re suddenly his match now.   Jihyo turns around, ears perked from the conversation. “Right! I haven’t seen her around lately either! I wondered if something happened.”   “You mean Kim Jisoo?” Yoongi lolls his head to the side and when Taehyung gives a curious expression as to how he knows, he says, “Hoseok and I were sent to her flower shop to pick up an order once.”   “Were they even dating?” Taehyung asks, looking up from where he’s chopping cucumbers.   “They were,” Namjoon pipes up and you look towards him, having expected him to shut down the conversation around the head chef, but he merely smiles. “But I haven’t seen her recently either.”   Jihyo hums. “I wonder if something happened.”   “Maybe they broke up,” Yoongi offers absentmindedly.   “Well, that wouldn’t be surprising.” Taehyung pauses and looks over to you, lifting a brow as if trying to find an ally. “He seems like he can be pretty hard to get along with.” But the opinion isn’t unpopular and there are several snickers throughout the kitchen.   “Seokjin’s just serious about his work,” Hoseok says with a smile. “But they were pretty serious.”   “Really?” You turn to Namjoon directly. It’s not often that you’d be so straightforward, but you want answers. You want explanations. “Did he ever say anything to you? On what could’ve happened?”   He shakes his head and then there’s a loud boom of the backdoor. Your blood runs cold. Everyone’s eyes widen, but there’s no time to react or to take back what he could’ve heard. Seokjin walks in with his eyes narrowed in on you specifically. “If all of you have enough time to talk about my personal life, then you can work twice as hard and twice as fast tonight.”   Everyone holds in their sighs.    With your downcast head, your eyes search the floor. “I’m sorry, chef.”    But the apology falls onto deaf ears.   //   It’s a busy shift.   With your tail caught in between your legs, it’s either a cutting board in front of you with a knife in hand or plates and a rough sponge by the sink. Oil from the fryer nearby splashes onto you, the grease coating bowls staining your apron, the heat sticking your tied back hair to your scalp.    Yet you wish you could do more.    Not just chop bell peppers, finely mince garlic or prepare starches. Not just rinsing bowls to stack into the dishwasher and wash large pots and plates by hand. While you’ve become accustomed to knives, keeping a rapid and constant beat as you slice whatever is in front of you, you wish you could cook. Not just be an accessory to the kitchen. Or an extra member to assist the chefs.    But for now, you count your blessings. Humming to yourself late at night while you finish.   “What are you still doing here?”   The crystal clear voice has you flinching, startled to death and you turn around to see Kim Seokjin in the flesh. White shirt rolled to his elbows, black trousers, expensive Rolex on his wrist that could pay the rest of your student loans with. You gawk at him. Speechless. Scared.   He doesn’t wait for you to find your tongue, dismissing your silence. “Where are the others? They should be cleaning up too. Just because dinner service is over, doesn’t mean they can leave.” He clicks his tongue in annoyance, no longer speaking to you but himself. “I won’t have anyone slacking in my kitchen.”   “I-It’s fine, chef.” Your voice is barely a squeak, but you muster the courage, not wanting them to get yelled at tomorrow. You turn around, quickening up your scrubbing until your nails start to hurt. “I’m supposed to be washing the dishes anyway.”   “It shouldn’t be taking you this long.”   You wonder if he’s scolding you.   It goes silent.   “Finish up and go change,” Seokjin says shortly and you nod. It takes another ten minutes for the task to be completed and then you’re wiping down the counters before heading to the lockers to change out of your apron and uniform.   Usually, you’d come out, turn off all the lights and begin the final trek home. But today, your blood runs cold. Your mouth fills with cotton when you step out. Against your own assumption, the head chef has not in fact left. Instead, Seokjin is leaning against the counter with his coat on, furiously tapping on his phone with his thick brows furrowed like they usually are.   You swallow hard and bow your head as you pass him. “Good night, chef.”   “Wait.”   Immediately, you halt. He pockets his device. “Are you walking?” The absence of an answer is enough of an indication for him. “I’ll drive you. It’s dangerous to walk home at this time of night.”   It isn’t a suggestion. It isn’t an offer either. It’s a command.    And soon, you discover yourself in his expensive Mercedes. The vehicle is black, sleek and you’re afraid of touching the leather seats more than you have to in case you stain it with poverty and have him sue you for damages. Or fire you.    “Turn left,” his fancy navigation system deadpans and it startles you.    Yet Seokjin is undeterred and with one hand on the wheel, he turns at the light, allowing the car to roll smoothly over the pavement. The passing lamp posts’ glow also illuminate his features, his plump lips and the slope of his nose. If Hyoyeon was here she would be salivating at the sight, how his chin is lifted, head slightly cocked. You would be too, if you weren’t so afraid. Kim Seokjin exudes confidence and intimidation, rightfully so too. He’s worlds out of your league.   And as your eyes stray from his profile to focus on the cloud above his head, your smiling expression still emerges.   You don’t understand how someone like you can be with someone like him.   “Is there something on my face?”   His question leaking with annoyance shakes you out of your trance and you tear your eyes away from him frantically to look out the window. “N-No.”   The tense quietness that follows is enough that you want to bang your head against the dashboard and hope you get knocked out to spare you from this awkwardness. Then again, you might just end up with a bruise and his car repair bill which would be even wors—   “You won’t be seeing Jisoo anymore,” Seokjin suddenly says and your head swivels to him. “She decided to cheat on me and that was a deal breaker, so I broke it off.”   “Oh.”   “I didn’t know you were one for gossip, but go ahead and tell the others if you’d like.”   “I..I’m sorry.” Your downcast head faces your lap and you swallow hard. “It’s personal and I shouldn’t have intruded or asked. It was wrong and unprofessional of me for bringing it up.”   “No.” There’s a moment of silence as he looks straight ahead. “It was wrong of me to act the way I did.” You blink wide-eyed and Seokjin parks at the curb. “My reaction was a bit uncalled for — it’s something I’m still working on.”   You stare at him and finally, the man meets your gaze. “You can get out now.”   “O-Oh.” You scramble out the car. “T-Thank you.”   The moment the door shuts, he drives off.   Fate can be changed. It’s rare, but choices influence futures and who someone ends up with can change depending on the actions they take. You just never expected Seokjin’s reason for the change to be so heartbreaking. Even if he stated it factually and his expression never wavered, you could sense it in his voice. The sadness you didn’t know he could possess.   //   “What made you think I would like him?” Jihyo is exasperated as she wipes down the counter and Taehyung grins as he sweeps the floor. “The guy literally kept on going about rock climbing, bungee jumping and skydiving. Do I look like an adrenaline junkie to you, Kim Taehyung?”   “Hey, hey. Yeonjun is nice, okay? I just thought you would be into the rough look.”   “Not at all. This is the last time I’m letting you set me up.”   Yoongi smirks as he passes by. “I’ll take it that your blind date didn’t go well?”   Jihyo glares at him.    Hoseok turns around with an amused smile. “It was your fault with trusting Taehyung with this sort of thing. What kind of guy are you into? Maybe I could set you up with someone better.”   She sighs wistfully. “I don’t even know anymore. I just want someone reliable and half decent.”   In the meanwhile, your eyes flicker up to the cloud above her head. There’s a bright eyed young man there and you smile, unloading the dishwasher as you continue listening to their conversation.    “See? It wasn’t my fault!” Taehyung pipes up to defend himself. “How am I supposed to know what kind of person you’d be into if you don’t know yourself?”   “Oh, so you know?”   “Of course I do!” He scoffs and becomes dreamy as he muses, “I want someone with long hair and dresses fashionably, someone who’s sweet and gentle, like a puppy.”   But based on the person above him, they appear rougher around the edges with shorter hair and a frown. But you let Taehyung have it, not commenting a single word. You’ve learnt from experience that it doesn’t work well if you come out of nowhere and try to involve yourself.    They continue talking about ideals, even Namjoon that pinches in he’s been seeing someone lately — an old friend who he went to school with that he never thought of romantically until recently. You’re having fun just listening in until the question is directed at you.   “Me?” You laugh awkwardly. “I don’t know either. I haven’t really thought about it before.”   “Oh, don’t give me that.” Taehyung nudges you. “Everyone has some idea.”   But you’ve sincerely never considered it before. You always thought you would live in solitude without another companion and even came to terms with it. But things have changed. “I guess….someone kind and considerate. Thoughtful. I don’t care what they do, except that they have to be a good person.”   It might be a generic answer, but as you think about Seokjin, you know you don’t want someone domineering and frightening. Yet from last night, Seokjin didn’t seem so daunting in the car.   “Yeah, I can see that.” Jihyo nods.   “What about Chef Kim?” you ask, eyes glistening in the light, curious beyond belief. “What do you think his ideal is?”   The people around the kitchen hum, speculating over the boss’ preferences. They’re equally intrigued by the question.   “Anyone who won’t shit their pants when he’s around,” Taehyung laughs as he finishes sweeping and pours the grime from the dustpan into the trash.   As Yoongi wraps a bowl, he mindlessly offers, “He seems to like the serious type,”    “What was Jisoo like?” Jihyo asks, tapping her chin with a frown.   “Sophisticated,” Hoseok suggests and you look at him, breathing a sigh of relief. Out of all things, you were definitely not sophisticated. “Gentle.”   “Sweet,” Namjoon says with confidence, having known the man the most after years of working together, “He likes the hard-working and earnest ones who prove themselves to be more than he expects.”   As if summoning the devil himself, Kim Seokjin comes from the back area and walks straight through the kitchen. “Stop slacking,” he states in a monotone and everyone returns to their tasks with a simultaneous ‘yes, chef’.    But as he passes by you, he pauses for a moment. “Everyone needs to leave on time today. If there’s anything that isn’t clean, you need to work together so that it is.”   “Yes, chef,” sounds throughout the kitchen once more.   You know being passive won’t solve anything. You need to actively do something that will repulse him, make it so he’ll vow never to get involved with you. If he makes the decision, fate itself will change and you won’t have to end up together.    The only plausible strategy to repulse you have at the moment is to embody the reverse of what Seokjin’s ideals are. The opposite of what appeals to him — sophisticated, sweet and gentle.   //   It takes you a while to pinpoint what the exact opposite is. But you find it.    Loud. Obnoxious. Aggressive.    You need to be these things in a way that doesn’t get you fired, but just enough that it alters who his match is. Part of you isn't sure you have it in you to be this way, but it’s worth a shot. You’ll do anything to change fate.   “What the hell are you still doing in my kitchen?”   Seokjin is standing meters away, half shrouded in the darkness. Your eyes flicker up at him but you resume dicing the carrots into one inch lengths. Only half the blade is lifted off the wooden cutting board and it descends at a rapid rhythm, rather therapeutic to listen to.   There’s an urge to cower down, but you channel your aggression, pretending it’s Taehyung and not Kim Seokjin — head chef with two Michelin stars — enough money to assassinate you and cover up the crime.   “Everyone went out to have dinner together, but I came back to get a head start on prepping ingredients for tomorrow. I need the practice anyway. Why? Is it a problem?”   The man’s brow is lifted at your upfront behaviour. “Get out. I’ll drive you back.”   “I’m going to finish this first,” you retort without a breath to waste.   Seokjin scoffs and puts down the keys he just grabbed. He sighs exhaustingly and you feel his stare burning into you. It’s hard to ignore it. You even start sweating until he moves towards the fridge, and that’s when you finally steal the chance to peek at him. “Are you going to eat? I can make you something.”   “It’s fine.”   He grabs two eggs, some shredded cabbage, a handful of spinach and a stick of butter. You don’t question it, solely focusing on your task until there’s sizzling on the pan and he leaves the stove to look over you.   “Your technique is poor.”   “What?!” Your voice is loud unintentionally, but you’re wholly shocked. If there was one thing you were proud of, it was your knife skills. You’ve spent countless time on refining it and getting it to meet standards.   “You could go faster,” he deadpans. “Your grip is too tense and you’re holding the knife too high up. You want to hold it at that balance point, so you have the most control over it and the weight is properly distributed.” Seokjin smoothly grabs a knife off the rack and holds it in front of you. You copy him. “It's easier to push the blade through when you're holding it there.”   “Like this?” You begin chopping again and he hums.    Against your will, a smile finds your features. It’s the first time he praised you— well...it’s less of a praise and more of a half-hearted noise of approval, but it still counts.   Seokjin takes the pan from the heat and switches it off. He grabs a fork from the drawer to start eating and you look over, finishing the job. It doesn’t take long for him to notice your blatant ogling. “Do you have an issue?”   You smile at him, stepping forward. “Can I have a bite?”   Seokjin scoffs. But you lean over and he steps aside, allowing you to nab a fork from the drawer to take some. It’s not like you’re particularly hungry, but you’re curious as to what he’s made. It’s been a long time since you’ve had food from the head chef himself and asking him for his dinner might just be off-putting enough that he’ll hate you forever. It wouldn’t be impossible considering he’s so picky. You swear, one mistake is all it takes for him to hold a grudge till the day he dies.   Yet, what you don’t expect is for the scrambled eggs to melt on your tongue. He’s sautéd the spinach, left the cabbage undercooked to add a crunch, and the eggs are fluffy in your mouth, a vivid gold that adds to the haphazard presentation. “This...this is delicious!”   He chews in his cheek. “It’s something I eat when there’s nothing in the fridge.”   You’re amazed. The fact that Kim Seokjin can’t recognize his own ingenuity is painful. “You should add this to the menu.”   He scoffs. “You think I would add scrambled eggs next to the caviar and truffle? I think you forgot this is a fine dining restaurant.”   “It’s fine,” you mumble. “I mean if it tastes good, it tastes good, right, chef?”   A tiny smile fixes at his visage, tugging his plump lip upwards. “You sure have a lot more opinions tonight.”   “Well, I’ve decided to speak my thoughts more,” you hum, scooping up another spoonful of his meal. Your eyes flicker up as you chew with your mouth wide open. “Why? Is it unattractive?”   “It’s interesting,” he says with a smile that’s more visible until he barks, “Hurry up eating so I can drive you home.”   You scoff at him as he walks away and you finish his dinner off.   //   Everyone’s on edge.   “It’s more akin to pretentious artwork without any real flavour than real food,” Hoseok reads from his phone to the entire kitchen. “Head chef, Kim Seokjin, is not far from what his cooking lacks too. A pretentious and egotistical nature, it’s no wonder his personal life is in shambles.”   Your fist tightens. Not only did the published article criticize his dishes, claiming it lost its touch and that he’s lost his roots, but they attacked his personality. His personal life. Going into detail of how his relationship was broken off unexpectedly.    “Oh shit,” Taehyung exhales.   “Was that really posted online for everyone to see?” Jihyo asks in a pitched voice, equally horrified and panicked.   Hoseok nods and before anyone can say anything, the backdoor is heard. Without prompting, everyone swiftly moves to their station, not uttering a single peep. Seokjin comes in, his expression unchanged and he deadpans the usual greeting as he moves past the kitchen.   Your face above his head hasn’t changed. But you know it’s not the time to dwell on it.   For the rest of the shift, Taehyung’s on his best behaviour and neither Jihyo nor Yoongi make snarky comments. It’s come at a cost — the morale is lower than usual. The atmosphere is tense and even Namjoon’s earnest encouragement can’t help.   Out of the corner of your eye, you can’t help but watch Seokjin. He doesn’t make mention to the article, yet by the deep furrow of his brow, you can tell he’s in a grumpy mood. It’s understandable. But you wonder why it seems like he’s less angry and more hurt.   If it were you, you’d be furious. The personal details of your life outed publicly and not only were your skills scrutinized, but your personality too.    Seokjin was cheated on and now chastised. Even if he’s resilient, it’s too much for anyone to take. It doesn’t look like he has friends to rely on either.   “Are you coming, Y/N?” Jihyo asks, turning around as you linger behind her. The restaurant’s lights are turned off, the kitchen long cleaned and your clothes changed into a fresh pair that doesn’t reek of dish soap and fish. But you feel unsettled. Like there’s still one more thing you haven’t finished doing.   “No, it’s alright. I forgot something. You can go right ahead.”   She nods, joining the others and you walk to the back, pushing the doors of the kitchen open.   There’s still a light on and you find Seokjin sitting on a stool by a counter. He looks up at you, visage in a neutral state. Neither a frown nor a smile. “What are you still doing here?”   Your hand tightens on your bag strap and you approach him. “Are you okay?”   Seokjin smiles at you. For the first time, it isn’t mocking — it’s gentle and tinged with sadness. The corner of his plump lips quirk ever so subtly and his arm extends, hand plopping on top of your head before it slides off. “I’m fine. It’s still early enough that I don’t need to drive you. You should go home before the sun completely sets.”   Wordlessly, you begin to walk away.   But then a sharp inhale is stolen through your parted lips. Before you can second guess yourself, you grab Kim Seokjin. Your hand wraps around his wrist and he glares at you.    “We should go out for a drink.” You don’t waver even with the incredulous look on his face. “What’s wrong? Never had a drink with an employee before? It looks like you need one and I’ll only offer once. I’m pretty busy myself, you know.”    It’s aggressive, obnoxious, a bit loud. It’s all the things you suppose he dislikes in a person, yet somehow the two of you have never been closer.   You end up in some hole in the wall, drinking shots of soju that burn its way down your throat. Seokjin sits across from you with an amused smile on his face that’s so irritating you want to slap it off, and you damn yourself for letting it slip your mind that you’re a lightweight.   “Aren’t you hurt, Kim?” The words slightly slur on your tongue. “‘s ridiculous! To criticize your food is one thing, but to criticize your personality and talk about your personal life ‘s just crossing the line!”    His lips pull, his eyes flicker down to the empty bottle beside you. “Yeah. It is.”   “Then why aren’t you mad?!” Your fist pounds the wooden table. “Getting cheated on is sad enough! Why do they gotta rub it in, huh?” His brow lifts, but you continue, “should sue them!”   Seokjin exhales on a sip. “It’s part of the business.”   “No, ’s not!”   “It was my ex who told them anyway. She’s upset that I kicked her out of the apartment.”   “Then that’s more reason to be mad!” You press your face into your hands, angry at how he’s not angry. “How can you be so nice? How can you be so nice and no one knows it?!”   Seokjin smiles to himself.   “This freaking sucks,” you moan.   He sighs at your drunken state and orders water for you. The old lady tottles by with a big smile and you get a chance to see the cloud of fog and the face above her head. “I brought the bean sprouts back,” her husband calls from the entrance at the same time with a grocery bag.   “I’ll be right there.” She places the glass down in front of you. “Here you go.”   Jealousy colours you pink inside. “You met your soulmate,” you exhale at her quietly.   The woman’s eyes twinkle. “That old man? He gives me more headaches than anything. I’d rather this handsome man be my soulmate,” she quips, casting a glance at an embarrassed Seokjin who thanks her for her compliment.   Her husband calls her again and she hurries back.    Seokjin leans forward with a skeptical look. “Are you okay?”   “I’m envious,” you sigh wistfully, looking on at the married couple at the back with your chin rested in your palm. After a moment, you shift towards the man across from you. Seokjin really is handsome. “I come from a long line of matchmakers, you know, and I have this ability.”   He plays along. “What ability?”   “I see the faces of who people are gonna end up with.” You drink the water, cooling your throat, but above the rim of the glass, you recognize his scoff and amusement. The glass slams down on the table in your protest. “It’s true! It’s been like that since I was a baby!”    “Okay, okay. I believe you.”   He clearly doesn’t believe you.   Irritated, you straighten your spine. “A long, long time ago back in High School, I really, really, really liked this guy.”    Seokjin’s brows raise, not sure where you’re going with this. “Alright…?” He nudges the glass of water back to you.    “I knew he wasn’t gonna end up with me, but he asked me out. And like a total idiot, I-I went out with him anyway. Then guess what happened?”   He has no idea.    A thick lump forms in your throat and makes it hard to speak. “He met the girl he‘s supposed to end up with, so I broke it off. They got married a year after high school. So I was right. I was...right.” Tears flood your vision, clouding the dark-haired man in front of you. You forgo the water for the shot Seokjin poured himself and you down it.    You were right. But it hurt.   Seokjin’s voice is soft, though it does little to console you. “So….because of your ‘ability’, you haven’t gone out with anyone else?”   You nod. “I’d be setting myself up for a failure anyway.” Your head lifts and your tired gaze connects with his. “My family wanted me to be a matchmaker like them. But I love, love, love cooking and I wanna be a chef. Like you.”   The corner of his mouth quirks. You’re honest — in a way he wouldn’t have expected from sober you. But he doesn’t mind it whatsoever.   “I know you don’t believe me. But look.” You reach over, tapping him relentlessly on the shoulder and your hand barely comes to cover your mouth as if you’re children exchanging secrets across the table. “See those two women over there? They’re gonna end up together.”   Your whispers are all too loud and Seokjin glares, not sure if you’re hysterical or delusional. Or both.   You turn to the window and he follows your line of sight. At the same time, a couple holding hands passes by and you shake your head. “They don’t end up together.”   “How do you know?”   “I already said! I see it. Above their heads.” Then you turn your head, looking at him. Seokjin’s startled, having not realized that you’ve leaned in so close, that your faces are mere inches away. But before he can shift back, your lip pulls and you murmur, “We’re supposed to end up together.”   His brow raises.   “It was gonna be someone else. Then one day, you came into work and poof! It was my face! Just like that. I almost got a heart attack, you know!” Giggles start to spill out of you. “It was a huge shock cause I always thought I was gonna be alone since I can’t see my own. Well, sometimes fate changes, so it might change again! Don’t worry!”   He exhales, squeezing out the air from his lungs. He stands, grabbing his coat and then tugging your arm up. “You’ve had too much to drink. C’mon. Let’s go.”   “Aye, aye, captain— I mean chef!”   His smile is small, but all too evident. He should smile more, even if it ruins the cold and aloof exterior he’s got going on. It’s cute and makes him look younger. So you express the idea and he chops your head lightly with his hand and gives you a rather gentle ‘shut up’ that has you grinning more.    //   The sunlight burns your vision and there’s a pounding headache at your temples.   There’s an overwhelming urge to pull the covers over your head, but as the slits of your eyes open and you realize there’s a strange floral scent to the sheets, you bolt upwards.   It hurts all the senses in your body, but your eyes register the neat recipe books lined on the shelf, trophies and certificates on the walls, a poster of the planets, a telescope and Kim Seokjin’s family picture by his nightstand. And then you scream.   “Christ. Relax!” He appears at the doorway, eyeing you with his arms crossed. “You were drunk, so I took you home.”   Absentmindedly, you tug the covers up to your chest in spite of still wearing the same clothes from last night. Your dry voice croaks out. “We...we didn’t do anything scandalous did—”   “No!” He shuts the thought down before it runs wild in your head and Seokjin pinches the bridge of his nose. “I didn’t do anything to you, jesus christ, woman! Just get up. There’s a spare toothbrush in the bathroom. I’ll make you some breakfast and a hangover drink.”   You follow his instructions, cleaning yourself up to the best of your abilities with the limited supplies, but it’s surreal to be in Seokjin’s penthouse. It’s clean and organized, like you expected, though a lot more cozy and warm. You didn’t know he traveled so frequently and that he had an interest in astronomy — if there’s anything the telescope and posters tells you.   “Stop snooping,” he calls out from the kitchen, looking up to where you’re investigating his movie collection. You come over with a half-hearted apology and he sets down a bowl of oatmeal and a mysterious concoction in a tall glass. Both taste heavenly, enough to work up your appetite ten folds.   But then he says, “Eat fast. It’s a special day today.”   You’re not sure what he means by it, but you simply nod and nurse your headache.   You remember what you told him last night, how you revealed all your secrets in one long tangent and you cringe at yourself. Seokjin probably thinks you’re a complete nut.   But strangely enough, when you look at the cloud above his head, your face hasn’t changed.   “Why are you staring?”   “I’m not,” you mutter and tear your eyes away, unsuspecting to his smile.   But in spite of how close and upfront you might’ve gotten with Seokjin, he still tells you to walk to work yourself — that it’s close enough and too much of a hassle if he drives you. So you cuss him out as you’re striding down the block as he zooms past you in his expensive vehicle.   You hope he notices your glare from across the kitchen, but if he does, he doesn’t comment.   “Today, we have some special guests for dinner service. A few of my friends will be coming and one of them will be proposing, so let’s make sure we give them a good dinner and memory.”   “Yes, chef.”   The news is exciting and even puts a buzz in the kitchen. “Finally, we’re doing something cool,” Taehyung says to you with a swollen smile. “I love a good proposal story.”   “Always the one watching the proposal, never the one getting proposed to,” Yoongi quips as he brushes past and Hoseok snickers.   “Hey, I’m working on it!”   “I’m surprised Seokjin actually has friends though,” Jihyo comments and right when Yoongi turns to add something, they both pale as Seokjin strides past. He glares at them and is even more frightening in his silence. They immediately apologize and he hums, moving out the kitchen.   You, Hoseok, and Namjoon laugh.   Evening eventually comes and Seokjin temporarily calls a halt to the kitchen in favour of his old friends meeting his staff. It’s unusual to see him in such a good mood, smiling and being sociable. It’s strange in general to see this side of him, but it’s not unwelcome whatsoever.   There’s seven of them, a mix of females and males, and you follow Hoseok’s lead in greeting and shaking their hands. Quickly, you recognize who's going to be proposing to who tonight. It’s not hard to miss considering the man is visibly nervous and the close female by his side keeps glancing at him in worry.   “Are you alright, Jimin?”   “Huh? Yeah.” The blonde with full cheeks and soft features smiles timidly, scratching the back of his neck. He’s dressed too nicely for this to merely be a dinner. “I’m fine. Just not feeling well.”   “Are you sure you don’t want to stop by the clinic?” The short-haired female asks, concern evident in the faint knot between her brows. “There’s one down the street. I can go with you.”   “I’ll keep an eye on him, Yuri,” the man who introduced himself as Jungkook reassures her, “If anything I’ll take him.”   “Jimin’s just excited to try out the food.” Seokjin grins, drawing attention away from his friend. “Rest assured, everyone will feel better after eating and if you get sick tonight, it’s not food poisoning, alright?”   There’s laughter in the group and another says, “You’ve been bragging about your restaurant for so long, I thought you were never going to invite us to eat here.”   “Well, we’re usually booked full house, but it’s a slower season so I thought why not.”   Yet the conversations drown away from your ears as your eyes unintentionally flicker upwards. You don’t mean to — it’s still a habit you’re trying to break. But you feel blood drain from your face as you discern the image that emerges from the fog above Jimin’s head and above Yuri’s.   “Y/N?” Taehyung waves his hand in front of your eyes and you snap out of your trance. “Why are you staring into space? We’re going back.”   “O-Oh. Sorry. I was thinking about something.”   You return to the kitchen, forcing yourself to focus and getting back to your task.    It’s none of your business. You know better than to involve yourself and it’s not like anyone would believe you in the first place. People’s lives have nothing to do with you. You have to turn a blind eye. It’s none of your business, it’s none of your business—   But as you leave to the back area to grab ingredients, you catch the man leaving the bathroom. “Oh, you’re one of Seokjin’s chefs right?” Jimin stops and smiles at you, inhibiting your escape.   You shake your head. “I-I’m only a kitchen assistant.”   “But you’re still part of his staff.” His eyes are rounded and bright. “Is he mean at all? We’ve been trying to squeeze it out of him, but he won’t give us any details. I heard a bit of shouting, so I was curious.”   “Oh, he’s always shouting.” The corner of your mouth quirks and Jimin grins. “He’s a bit mean, but Chef Kim’s just serious about his work and we respect him for it.”   “It seems like you understand him better than I do. Anyway, the soup was amazing. I already told Jin, but I thought I should let you know since you’re the one who brought it out to us.”   “Thank you.” Your eyes travel above his head and then you notice the way he’s fiddling with a box inside his pants pocket. You swallow hard. “Are you proposing tonight?”   Jimin’s head whips up. “How’d you know?”   “Chef Kim let all of us know, so we can make sure it’s a memorable dinner service.”   His expression softens and he bobs his head. Jimin takes out the ring box and studies it carefully. “I am. I hope it wasn’t too obvious. I know she’ll say yes, but I’m still nervous. She’s the love of my life and these things only happen once,.”   “Well….” You give an awkward chuckle. “Sometimes it happens more than once for people.”   “Not for us,” Jimin declares in such self-assurance that it’s uncomfortable. His smile filled with affection doesn’t help either. “She’s the one. I don’t think I’ll love anyone more than her.”   Your pupils flicker up to the cloud above his head that says otherwise. It gnaws at you, mocking you, and you’re uncertain if you can sleep tonight if you don’t say at least something. So you take the leap. “Are….you...sure?”   “What?”   “Never mind.” You turn around, having regretted it the moment it spilled. “Please enjoy dinner!”   “Wait!” The man unexpectedly grabs you out of sheer instinct, halting you in your spot. He searches your face while his own crumples into a frown. “Did Yuri say something to you?”   “No!” you frantically spit before taking a deep breath to calm down. “I’m just….I just….” The philosophy you’ve forced yourself to take collapses at his earnest visage. You were never good at being unattached. “D-Do you think this is a good idea? Are you absolutely sure about this?”   “What’s going on here?” There’s a lower voice, a husky timbre. Seokjin stands at the end of the dark corridor and all traces of his outgoing personality are gone. It’s replaced with the serious demeanour you’re used to. He beckons you. “Can I speak to you for a moment, Y/N?”   Jimin returns back to the table, even more unnerved than before while you’re pulled outside.   You feel small with your back against the brick and Seokjin looming over you. “What the hell are you doing?”   You flinch from his tone.    You’ve never seen him so angry. He isn’t shouting, screaming or imposing. But the irritation seethes out of him, simmering underneath his skin. You swallow hard, downcast eyes searching the gravel. You think about how dark it’s getting with the sun setting over the horizon. “I…”   “Are you seriously trying to talk him out of it?! What gives you the right—”   You snap. There’s no reason he should be upset, no reason you should be treated this way. So with your teeth gritted, you give him the truth that’s hard to hear. The truth that you alone must bear. “They’re not going to end up together!”    “What?”   Seokjin wears the same incredulous look from last night. It’s futile.   Still, your mouth runs off into mumbles, “I can see it above their faces. That woman, Yuri, she’s…..paired with that other man. Jungkook.”   You give up. Waving the white flag. In the silence that follows, you expect Seokjin to fire you, or call the nearest hospital. Either you’re a nut or unsuitable to work in his kitchen. Maybe both.   What you don’t anticipate is his startled expression, horrified as if you just told him there’s a ghost behind him. “How….how’d you know that?” The syllables unusually stutter out of him. It’s not like Seokjin to be inarticulate. “Jungkook hasn’t told anyone he loves her except for me.”   It’s your turn to be surprised. The quietness lingers. Then, he sighs.   “Don’t get involved,” he scolds, gentler than before. At the same moment, there are cheers from inside that leak out — clapping and hollering — you know Jimin’s proposed.   Seokjin turns away, returning to the restaurant floor and you resume your position in the kitchen. Jihyo asks if there’s anything wrong, but you brush her off. For the rest of the night, you concentrate on your job and Seokjin’s friends bid farewell after their stomachs are full from dessert and there’s a diamond on Yuri’s finger.   “Job well done everyone.” Seokjin has a satisfied look when he returns and Namjoon shares a smile with everyone. Clean up finishes soon after, but before you can leave, he calls you specifically. “Y/N, come here.”   Taehyung looks at you with widened eyes, but you don’t utter a word, staying behind. The kitchen filters out and even Yoongi sends a sympathetic look your way before departing. It’s never a good thing to be called back.   You brace yourself. If Seokjin didn’t make a scene firing you earlier than certainly will now. There’s no reason not to — you tried to stop an engagement between his close friends and he probably thinks you’re psychotic.   You stand there in silence for a good minute as he fills out some paperwork. It feels like you’re in the principal’s office. Then, the corner of his mouth moves as he casts a glance at you. “Sometimes you borrow the kitchen to practice, right? You can practice tonight.”   Confusion renders you immobile, filling your mouth with cotton, but you manage a slight nod.   You start to chop vegetables into bowls, dicing and mincing ingredients that will be needed for tomorrow. All the while, Seokjin sits meters away from you with a bunch of papers. Either doing his taxes or filing a report to admit you into the hospital. You’re not sure which one it is.   But halfway through, he pipes up again. “You should make something for the two of us to eat.”   “Yes, chef.” On any other night, you would be bursting with excitement, knowing it was a chance to impress him. But now you wonder if this will be your last chance to cook.    Within minutes, you have a pot on the stove, boiling for ten minutes.   “Sit down,” he commands, motioning to the other stool and you oblige.   Seokjin makes drinks in the meanwhile, asking what you want. When you mumble anything’s fine, he pulls out a few bottles from the back cabinet and starts mixing. You didn’t know he can bartend, but it’s almost expected that Kim Seokjin can do anything at this point.   The atmosphere is terribly awkward, so you exhale from your nose and speak up, “I’m sorry. I...I know I stepped out of line. I didn’t mean for it to come out the way it did. I’m really so—”   “I believe you,” Seokjin interjects, gaze meeting yours across the counter. Your breath hitches. “I didn’t believe you at first. About the whole ability thing. But when you told me that Jimin and Yuri won’t make it, I knew there was no other possible way.” He pours the drink into two glasses. “Jungkook and Yuri grew up together. He told me a long time ago he was in love with her and I was sworn to secrecy. No one else knows. Not his brother, his mom, or Jimin.”   He passes it to you and sighs, taking a sip. “But there’s nothing I can do to stop Jimin or to help Jungkook. It’s something they have to figure out on their own.”   You nod, gripping the stem of the glass. “I know.”   There’s a pregnant pause.    You lift your eyes and it connects with Seokjin’s. Instantly, you feel yourself breaking into a sweat at how intense he looks at you. “Is it true then?” he asks in the quaintness of the kitchen, his voice thick and low. “Are we going to end up together?”   “It might change!” The words come out all too frantically in fear he’ll freak out like you did. You know it’s a lot to take in. “Things change all the time. You were supposed to end up with Jisoo, but then, but then things happened so….nothing’s ever certain. It all depends on our actions and choices. I know you don’t like people like me. I don’t have anything to offer you anyway—”   “You need to have more confidence in yourself.”   Your voice dies on your tongue. Seokjin’s staring at you again in a way that makes your palms clammy, so intense that you wonder if he’s scrutinizing your pores. You swallow hard, tearing your own gawking away until you hear sizzling. The two of you turn to where the pot is almost over boiling and you run over, grabbing it off the stove. “I-It’s done.”   He grabs bowls as you set it down and uncover the lid.    “What do we have here?”   You’re embarrassed. It’s nothing like his fine dining dishes, or even his comfort food that somehow tastes like heaven. “It’s just carrot and potato curry stew. It’s actually something my family cooks…..so it’s nothing fancy.”   Seokjin’s spoon dips into the liquid and it’s your turn to watch intently.   He smells it, sips and his expression is kept blank.   You stand. “I can throw it out if you want—!”   “Why are you so jumpy today?” The corner of his plump lips curls. “And why would I want to throw out something so delicious?”   Your heart stutters in your chest and tears fill your vision. He might not fire you after all and on top of that, both your inborn ability and cooking skills have been validated. You feel overwhelmed. Especially when he finishes his first bowl and goes for seconds.    “This is what I’ve been missing in my cooking,” Seokjin murmurs with a tiny smile. “When they said I was missing my roots, I think I know what they mean now. Thank you, Y/N.”   You’re not sure who’s filled with more gratitude.   He smiles and you nod at him earnestly, speechless on what to say.   At the end of the night, Seokjin drives you home in his black Mercedes. A kind of lull fills that car and it isn’t frightening like it usually would be. Rather, it’s comfortable. A little too short lasting. He parks the car at the curb in front of your apartment and you get out.   “Thank you.”   Yet after you shut the door, he rolls down the window and stops you. “Y/N.”   You look at him and he smiles again. A phenomenon that used to be so rare that seems to happen frequently now. “I hope it doesn’t change.”   Kim Seokjin gazes at you, eyes connected across the distance that feels like it’s closing. He never wavers and a lump forms into your throat. “Are we going to end up together?” — Your own words echo in the recesses of your mind— “It might change! Things change all the time.”   But here he is. Going against all your efforts of trying to change fate itself. “I hope it doesn’t change. And I hope you don’t want it to change either.”   Seokjin drives off, leaving you absolutely stunned.   You wonder if he knows what he’s saying. But as you watch his car fade into the distance, somehow you’re not appalled or scared at the idea of being with him anymore.

The kitchen is an organized pandemonium.   A place where everyone knows exactly what they’re supposed to do and moves in fluid motions by one another, like a busy crosswalk in the downtown area. It’s a kind of silent teamwork and while you’re merely helping Taehyung chop vegetables or washing the accumulated dishes, you know your role is still an important one. You just wish you could a little more.   The moment the back door creaking can be heard, everything comes to a halt. Seokjin rounds the corner as everyone simultaneously greets him. “Good afternoon, chef.”   “Afternoon.” There’s a smile on his features, one that surprises a few and makes the others unsettled. “There’s going to be a special menu item today, so I want that prepared as soon as possible.”   He hands the new recipe to Namjoon who frowns upon the sprawled notes. “Carrot...and potato soup with chickpea crumble?”   “If you need details, ask Y/N,” Seokjin says with a tiny smile. “It’s her recipe.”   At once, everyone turns to you with shocked expressions. It’s one thing for Seokjin to suddenly introduce something new, but to introduce yours, it’s both unprecedented and a privilege.   You stare at him and his smile widens slightly. “I hope you don’t mind.”   “N-Not at all.”   The daily tasks commence, but not without a pat on the back from Yoongi, a congratulations from Jihyo and a smile sent your way by Taehyung. Namjoon and Hoseok ask for your help and it’s the first time you’re not just mincing garlic in the corner or washing a stack of dishes. Pride bursts through you and you look across the kitchen to Kim Seokjin. He scoffs at how big your smile is, feigns a glare and tells you to get back to work.   The rest of the dinner service goes smoothly. Your appetizer gets compliments from several and you couldn’t be any happier, even when everyone’s left and you’re still scrubbing dishes.   There’s a click of a tongue beside you. Seokjin stands with his arms crossed. “You always find ways to make me pay you overtime. Move over.” He rolls up his sleeves and helps you wash the last pots and pans.   “Thank you for today. It was a good surprise.”   He hums and the pair of you finish up before he tells you to unload the dishwasher tomorrow. “Go change and grab your coat. It’s getting late.”   “Are you going to drive me home?”   “No. We’re going to scope out some competition.”   “Competition?”   “We’re going to eat at a restaurant called Dog World,” Seokjin brushes off quickly, but when you continue to blink at him, he sighs and waves you off. “Don’t ask too many questions, alright? This is my excuse for asking you out on a date.”   If you weren’t caught off guard before, you’re wholly stunned speechless now. A deer in headlights. And it makes the older bastard grin widely.   “Don’t worry.” His voice knocks down into a gentler tone. “You can reject me if you want. I don’t want you to be pressured because I’m your boss, even though I don’t think that matters to you. But you should also know I’m not doing this because of what you see.” He gestures above his head, unknowingly batting the cloud of fog you can perceive. “I’m doing this because I want to.”   It sinks into you and your head tilts to your shoulder. “You….want to go out on a date with me?”   The corner of Seokjin’s lip pulls and he diverts his vision elsewhere. You notice how his ears are turning red. “Ever since you sat down with me and told me that getting cheated on was sad enough and that they shouldn’t rub it in.”   There’s silence. The first stretch of it is because you genuinely don’t know what to say to him. But the second stretch that follows is when you realize just how nervous he is and there’s a ruthless urge to keep him on the edge. You make him simmer in fear, a similar kind to the countless ones he’s given you during stressful shifts in the kitchen.   There’s something powerful yet endearing about how Kim Seokjin anticipates your answer.   You never thought he could be this way. He just keeps surprising you.   When you can’t contain it anymore, you burst out laughing.   “I’ll accept on the condition that if you take my recipe permanently, you’ll need to pay me royalties appropriately. Don’t think I won’t take you out to court, Kim.”   Seokjin grins and for the first time, certainty sews into you. You have a feeling fate isn’t going to change and you hope it doesn’t either.

[Epilogue]   The kitchen is your home.   You’re sure Jin would adamantly argue that the house was perfectly fine to be considered your home, but there’s still a charm to the busy kitchen that has drawn you in since childhood. Even if the heat swelters in the still air and is stifling, even when grease and oil splatter and stains your clothes, the effort in cooking makes the food that comes from it even more delicious.   “What is this?”    All heads turn at your voice and you motion to the plate about to be brought out. “The rice is on the wrong side of the plate! Re-do this, and watch the plating people! I know it’s easy to forget but it’s important to be consistent with the presentation!”   “Yes, chef!”   It’s strenuous and difficult to be here. It took years to get to where you are, but you wouldn’t trade it in for anything. The reward is worth it. You love your job — maybe even more than Jin, and while you’re sure he wouldn’t be surprised, he’d still playfully whine about being casted aside.   The rest of the night goes off without a hitch and once the kitchen is all clean, you switch off the lights and lock the doors. And like magic, the person you’ve been thinking about all day is leaning against the car parked on the curb, arms crossed as he stares out into the starry sky.   “About time. I’ve been waiting for the past twenty minutes.”   You scoff with a smile and discern the cold cloud emitting from his lips each time he exhales.   This is the exact opposite of what you intended to happen. Sometimes you wonder if it was a self-fulfilling prophecy — by knowing he was going to be with you and trying to avoid it, you inadvertently made him closer to you. But whatever the case may be, you’re glad for the outcome.   You close the distance and slap your hands against his frozen cheeks, trying to warm them up. A smile tugs on your features. “Sorry. You’re cold, aren’t you? You should’ve just waited in the car.”   “But I wanted to see you right away,” he mutters, putting his hands on top of yours to keep you there, then he adds, “and it gives me reason to do this.” Seokjin grins and leans in to press a soft kiss against your lips, one that you smile into.   If any of his old kitchen staff or even the current group saw him now, they’d faint with how grossly affectionate he was being. Then again, they might just be used to it considering Jin hasn’t ever paid mind to other people. He’s never been one to opt out of public displays of affection either.   “You know I’ve been thinking lately.”   “About?”   “How hard I tried to get rid of you and how I couldn’t. You’re kind of like a pest.”   Your husband of two years straightens his spine, wholly offended. “Pest?”   Laughter bubbles out of your chest and you press another chaste kiss to his lips before you’re pushing him aside to get into the car. Seokjin chuckles, rounding the vehicle to get into the driver’s seat.   “Are you hungry?”   “Not really.”   “Namjoon and Taehyung want us to go to the opening of their restaurant.”   “Their opening event lasts for three days right? We can always go tomorrow.” You turn to him as he pulls off, driving down the street. “I’m kind of craving your comfort food tonight.”   Jin grins, easily obliging while your eyes flicker up to the cloud of fog above his head. You see yourself smiling as widely as you are now, and you’re thankful you have your ability.

#bts fanfic #bts scenario #seokjin fanfic #jin fanfic #jin fluff #jin scenario #jin reader insert #seokjin fluff #seokjin scenario #Jin as a scary chef :( who's just hardcore about his passion #yo this got Jungle Park Hoseok vibes lol ngl #actually it was inspired by the k-drama Oh My Ghost #I never finished watching it really but I based off the way their kitchen worked with this fic #so if it doesn't seem like a traditional kitchen that's why #I hope you guys enjoy this oneshot! #It's a more classic Jimlingss fluff #with a decent storyline