#my mom drives me crazy

[7hyein]

read tags ;--;

#soo ermmm im not that type of person who likes to say these stuff but errrrrt #i decided i might quit tumblr cuz it's kinda actually ruining my mental health a lil bit #and school is driving me crazy like there's so much work to do #and i have to take exams for 2 more weeks + i have online classes on saturday too 😨😨 #SIDE EYE #if I decided not to quit then I might take a LONG BREAK FROM TUMBLR ;--;;. #anyways I'm not gonna make new mbs tho #I'm gonna post my old drafts that I've made before instead #sorry if u guys don't like my new mbs . 🌚 #and what bothers me is that I mostly spend my time on tumblr instead of studying #🌚🌚🌚🌚🌚🌚 #and I might fail my exams cuz of that reason ;// #i DO not want to get yelled by my mom for failing 🔥🔥💯💯 #if i fail my moms gonna take away my phone n i don't hv access to my tumblr acc #ughhh i hate my school for giving me to do exams ffor 3 weeks straigjt #THIS SUCKS #ARGHJEHEHEBB #i study like everyday #i haven't got sleep for like 2 days cuz of the ugky goofy ahh exams #TMR EXAM WEEK CONTINUE AGAIN. 🌚🌚 #manifesting that I will pass ECONOMICS 💯💯🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥 #PUKU PUKU POW POW RAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH 💯💯💯💯💯💯💯🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥 #AND IM GONNA START BEING IA #I'LL POST 5 OF MY OLD DRAFTS TMR MORNING. #and the fact taht i still HAVE to study during the time I get to school #SORRY FOR BAD ENGLISH UGHHH #I'M DEAD #Я МЕРТВ 🔥🔥🔥🔥💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯 #jumps off a cliff #🌚🌚🌚

[aq2003]

my verdict on ark is that dt is like. the only celebrity voice actor in it that is doing a really good job but i forgive it bc the rep is pretty good

#episodes 1 and 6 were the best 2-4 were kind of boring 5 was good for the meiyin content #the art/animation are pretty good (like it's a cut above tlovm/invincible standards) #However i think the characters are a little underutilized. like rockwell especially what the hell is his deal i want his backstory so bad #i also want to know more abt the past connection between rockwell and meiyin. he was part of the rebellion and BETRAYED her #can we delve deeper into that.. that kind of drives me crazy can we see more between these two #also i'd like it if the show focused more on helena's personal struggles and flaws. i LOVE the look into her backstory on earth #like w her wife and her mom. but i'd like to see more of like. how that backstory affects how she views the world #they do this really good w the side characters meiyin especially i just wish . like.!!! helena struggled w anxiety/depression #she was so dependent on victoria for like any sense of stability can we like. See More Of That #can we see her and meiyin be codependent toxic yuri . for me. for fun #overall.. i think it's alright of a show 7/10 i need to see more of it to deliver my verdict fully #cuz in the next time trailer there's bits of rockwell backstory and Please Give It To Me

[chaoticas-hell]

When your parents keep accidently admitting that yeah, you're the 3rd and really the only parent to your 15 yr brother:

#like I already knew but its wild theyre admitting it #for context Im 22 raising my 15 yr old brother #literally just today I took my brother to his dentist (I take him to every appointment when Im able) and had insurance problems that #required his ssn that I didnt know (dont know my own) had to call mom and this woman #while looking for his ssn card #told me that I should have it memorized- SHE HERSELF DOESNT #and a while ago my father (bastard of a man) told me when my brother was upset that he didnt want to deal with his emotions #you know #like a parent is supposed to #they constantly come to me whenever he has a 'mood' and ask me whats wrong bc they know he tells me stuff #dw I dont snitch but yall #them subtly admitting that theyre not parents to him and I am is getting too crazy #Im teaching him to drive btw and he wants me as a guarian so I can make medical decisions for him

[pigeonwit]

doggone [WIP, scene scribble]

“These’re pretty…” Davey says quietly, more to himself than to anyone else. “You think my mama’d like these?”

It’s rare for him to need to ask for advice about his family – Davey likes to believe he’s an attentive enough son and brother to know what his family likes – but Jack’s such a fixture in his life now, it’s hard not to consider him family, too. And besides, there’s no one he’d trust more about flowers than Jack – the man practically breathes colour.

Jack pokes his head over Davey’s shoulder – as much as he can with the extra inches Davey has on him, something Davey will never not brag about – and hums in agreement before pressing a hand below Davey’s ribs, nudging at the divot in his waist to get them to keep moving. Davey rolls his eyes and swats him away, motioning for the florist to tie up three and passing her what she’s owed. Jack doesn’t complain, because again, it doesn’t matter, but he still shuffles impatiently on his feet, scanning his eyes over the bustle of the street. When the lunch crowd begins to swell, Davey jolts as Jack presses himself flush against Davey’s back (still with a hand around his waist that Davey just cannot seem to ignore) to nestle him between the flower displays, hunching his shoulders defensively whenever a passerby walks a bit too close to the two of them.

Davey tries not to groan and forces a smile at the florist as he takes his mother’s flowers.

It’s like walking a damn sheepdog.

#i said golden retriever/black cat dynamic and i meant it #i have so much shit to write but... man. #i came back from this goddamn ceremony and immediately had to churn out something. the neurotypicals were driving me crazy. #will eventually be a 5+1. eventually. #i just desperately need to share the image of herding dog jack #'mom friend' this 'dad friend' that but when will the dog friends get our representation... #give me a location i need to go and i will shepherd my friends there with obnoxious determination the likes of which neverbefore seen #newsies #livesies #uksies #west endsies #david jacobs #davey jacobs #jack kelly #javid #javey #pigeon scribbles

[fawnchives]

okay, this has been driving me crazy for months—this song right here. no, it’s not AI generated but no one else can figure out who made it?? like you can clearly tell it’s from the 1980s but the artist is unknown :( there’s speculations about it being a demo but i’m not sure honestly…it’s been stuck in my head!

#₊˚ ʚ mona rambles. #lost media drives me crazy #i’ll ask my mom & nana about it #hopefully they’ll be able to figure it out!

[jewishcissiekj]

Thinking about how Asajj should adopt Merrin (Jedi: video game series). Or Deathstick (Star Wars: Uprising, Disney/current SW Comics). both work tbh. Unrelated, here's her being feral in Halcyon Legacy

Star Wars - The Halcyon Legacy #1 | Star Wars - The Halcyon Legacy #3

+Bonus Banshee from #3 (because it's stunning here I just can't explain it)

#daily asajj thought of the day #only watched a bunch of merrin scenes and stuff from fallen order but I love her already #and i'm obsessed with deathstick even tho she's colored as human so often in the comics which drives me crazy #both are survivors of the dathomir/nightsister massacre who were children during it btw #deathstick had a mom but eh irrelevant #sw #star wars #asajj ventress #ventress #the halcyon legacy #she looks better in the comic then I remembered #i kinda like the fit n stuff actually #the banshee looks amazing tho #shoutout to asajj for naming both her ships the banshee apperantely #the Ginivex-class fanblade starfighter is my fav tho just look at it! #need to make a collection of pics of it #star wars comics #oh btw had different asajj thoughts today but they went into my wip fic #my sister was betaing/editing it and we talked about it #so that was fun #oh and thought about my short story with like 3 chapters about her I am planning to write at some point #that ties her history together nicely i think #something that goes more to her journey with the jedi yn]know #getting her lightsaber #asking ky to tell her stories about the jedi #him telling her about my oc cuz we know nothing about ky #then she goes and kills said oc's padawan #it's cool #good night

[heart-bones]

my mom called last night to tell me she got the results of her last biopsy/scans/tests etc and it looks like the cancer has spread into her lymphnodes and while it's not exactly ravaging through her, she's too underweight to undergo another round of chemo and there's not much else that can be done. There is no time limit. They can't say 3 months or 10 years, there's no way to know, but its at the "go home and focus on your quality of life" point. So there's that.

#i know it'll hit me really hard some of the time and if i were to see my parents i know I'd be a gross sobbing mess #but i think im dissassociating too hard in this depression void to like. Really be too emotionally effected? if that makes sense? #i love my mom because shes my mom but i have been like calmly preparing myself for this for 2 years after the last round of chemo was so bad #and like #It just is how it is - these things happen and my mom is like. at peace with it #wondering how crazy hard it would be to get a plane ticket home for christmas... #some of the only times I wish I drove are for things like this #take a two day wintery drive thru the deserts to get to my parents house

[iloveyouitisruiningmylife]

so

i want to be a part of a big group of people who love each other SO BAD i want to have a friend group i want to care and love many people at once i want to belong feel a sense of community but i am so isolated i don't even have one single friend and am i just going to die alone probably yes right im already 20 years old and this 19 year old guy at office was like we were both waiting counting down the minutes till 4 pm so we could go home and we were like yaar kal parso bhi aana padega sunday kitna door hai but then he was like yaar do yk it's already been a month here and time is passing so fast and im not doing anything that people my age do im sitting in a locked office my whole day and aise hi sunday ka wait karte karte 2 saal ho jayenge fir job main bhi aise hi lagega and yaar aise tog puri zindagi hi nikal jayegi and i was like what the fuck shut up you're so right and im already 20 and i feel so lonely and other people are so fucking normal and happy and enjoy festivals while im sitting here worrying about how to finish my backlog watch lectures my life is so small limited to 10 books one course and i feel so on the outside of everything what the fuck man how do i live like this 🧍

#there was janmashtmi celebration in our building and the guys they fell like 3 baar but they got back up again and again with even more #energy and finally did it and everyone was so fucking happy and the music was so loud that go go go govinda song and i remember loving this #song loving the dance in it since when do i feel so distant from it i don't understand why but everyone was celebrating and i felt like #crying and and i was being so irritatble with everyone and i asked my sis if is it okay if i eat maggi bc i think im hungry and it's d #driving me crazy and she said ofcourse it is okay and do you want to go and eat ice cream EVEN THO SHE DOESN'T LIKE GOING OUT AT NIGHT AND #LIKES FASTING SO SHE WOULDNT EVEN HAVE ONE SHE WAS JJST ASKING FOR ME 😭😭😭 #and this fucking icai they sent a whole ass laminated certificate that i saw just now my mom gave me printef on thick paper #my name in times roman saying i passed inter level???? i had no idea they did something like this marksheet already aa chuki thi😭 #it fucking feels like god is sending a sign that this is what you're getting for sacricing your happiness hang in there I DON'T KNOW #EVERYTHING IS MAKING ME CRY IS THIE EVEN WORTH IT AND I BLAME IT SO MUCH BUT WOULD I EVEN BE HAPPY WITHOUT IT WOUKD I EVEN KNOW HOW TO BE #happy

[heftbyjapanesebreakfast]

i can't get over the fact his dad's birthday is the same day my dad died... like the way we're literally cosmically connected and i think we were soulmates in a past life

#this plus he has the same initials as my plus he has the same phone number as my mom #also our brothers both played in the same little league #and both him and i worked in the snack bar at the little league field #and his friends know a lot of the same people i know #like okay. what the fuck. #it's driving me crazy we were literally meant to be like #how was he in a relationship for FOUR years and then a few months after i meet him he happens to have a break up.... like. okay #m #also we're both half mexican bisexual oldest siblings w septum piercings #why r we kinda the same person LMAOO

[cashew-milkk]

no islamic talk is complete without my mom insinuating that my “choice” of being queer and trans is gonna lead me to a stray path away from jannah. so lovely. you can either have a happy trans and queer kid (doomed to jahannam) or have a miserable closeted one that represses their feelings so much to the point of contemplating suicide. every day. (also doomed to jahannam) which is what’s happening right now actually. and my friends wonder why i don’t like talking about islam… sigh…

#it’s so exhausting. this is why i don’t like being alone with her #and whenever she talks to my uncle and mentions how the ‘choices’ their kids make is gonna drive them crazy only when i’m in the room #i’m so tired #i wonder if i ever would have left islam if it wasn’t for my mothers treatment words and influence. i wonder. #i was happy being a queer muslim until my mom told me i can’t. and now i see every single fault in islam #i’m tired. #anyway if you use this post as an excuse to be islamophobic i’m shooting you on the spot #homophobia #homophobia tw #transphobia #transphobia tw #suicide mention #suicide tw #personal #cashew talks

[itsays]

woke up at lunch time and turns out there's no drinking water. should i kill myself?

#i have to go to the store and my mom gets all crazy about that like im asking her to drive me to a neighboring country. #like. all im asking is you take me to the market right in front of our neighborhood. i cant just carry a bottle of water are you crazy

[cookie-crumblr]

Hey how are you? how do you feel?

Hai Vexxxie!!!!!! omg ty fot asking! i’m on the recovery again! i’m feeling better every day though!!! omg How are youuuu??? 🥰🥰🥰🥰

#cookie speaks #fr ty for askinggggg T.T #also my mom is driving me crazy and i had a memory come back to me i think i posted about it when it happened but my god was it awful

[cascadianights]

How is it

That even in the midst of fire and smoke

I can't stop thinking how the smell of sweetgrass on the breeze reminded me of you

Even when it'd been years since I'd last seen your face.

I can't stop thinking about your warm hands taking mine, teasing out the cold while we lay under the stars.

That was the night I realized how quickly the constellations dance across the sky, Milky Way disappearing behind the distant mountains while I tell you the story of the Pleiades.

I can't stop thinking of the sunsets, and the waves crashing against the rocks. The drives to the edge of town, the late night walks on quiet streets.

But

The other day I didn't hear from you until after you were supposed to be at my place, seeing my garden for the first time in a summer spent among your haunts.

You apologized, instead of doubling down. But. You also didn't show up. You offered to make it up to me, with yet another step into your world. Something I wanted for so long that my hesitation now, as I frown at the field of flowers you have yet to know of me, feels like betrayal.

Campfire smoke wreathed with the smell of your body wash, the feeling of lying on your chest and of kissing your fingers and of you behind me with hands on my hips and mouth on my neck.

The night you didn't show, the sky hummed with heat lightning and far-off thunder as a summer storm blew in from the coast. Rain and fire beat down upon the hills around the valley.

When I woke, the sky was grey again and the sun red. I picked blueberries while old women talked about their daughters sleeping in barns and friends returning to find homes turned to ash.

I think about nights spent over cold meals, waiting for you to show. A Thanksgiving spent alone, watching the sun rise and sink into the hills and waiting for you to call. The fury and insecurity and desperate want to be chosen.

To be enough, without being too much. To communicate clearly enough that it could change your actions. To make you understand. To hear you say you loved me, just once.

The mountains where we used to watch the stars burned this year. The valley is on fire, as is much of southern Canada. The streets in the desert ran with water as a hurricane filled Death Valley.

This is the hottest summer on record, a dozen days over 100. The coldest summer of the rest of my life. "The fires happen every year now, you may as well get used to it."

Is it true that the opposite of love isn't hate, but indifference? They say people never change, even though the entire history of our species has been just that. But cycles repeat, and the earth below my feet is split and cracked and bleeding.

I used to wonder if I was only drawn to you because of the conflict, the tectonic push and pull. But all that came later, when we chose to stop seeing one another. It was addicting, but I'd fallen for the soft look in your eyes and your crooked smile long before that.

I thought it would be so difficult to be around you again, but it's as easy as breathing - only difficult when the haze of uncertainty creeps in, offers to spend time followed by an out or a quick "only if you want to." Only difficult when the time and will slip from you, and the ghost of that 21 year old wracked with pain returns.

We dance around it, but talk all night. We are careful that a touch never lingers, but then you call me at 3am when the rest of the world exhausts you. When I stay over I sleep on the couch, but I stay over often, and my heart twists and turns in my chest when you sing in the morning and in the shower.

It's odd to know someone so intimately and think you may never see them again. The childhood scars, the stories, the way you still feel like you could've made a better impression on their grandmother.

The names of cousins and best friends, god kids and figures around town - who's gone who's in jail, who's doing well who still needs to get their shit together. Their first love. Their favorite places.

We spent 5 years apart before we could talk. I don't want to spend another 5 regretting. I want a future with you, and I'm terrified of a mistep that launches us back into pain and prevents that. I want you, but I don't want my heart broken again.

Ash on the curling leaves, on the bursting blackberries, on the windshield driving to you. Smoke and sage and sweetgrass on the air. The taste of berries and apples sweetened with honey and the ghost of your lips on mine. Sweet and sticky and aching with something undefinable.

#writing #writeblr #queer #ex #relationships #idk i never know what to tag shit what can i search to find this again #heartache #ok wanna know whats funny but infuriating his name is sage And this kid at a job I worked at used to burn sage in the evening #when our shifts overlapped #so in like every way i cannot smell the plant and not think of him and it drives me CRAZY it drives me up the wall #yknow whats funny tho his mom who chose the name is allergic to sage and i think thats hilariois #idk how ill feel later but im really proud of this piece #and nvigating my STUPID EMOTIONS

[maddy-ferguson]

in july of 2021 i almost sent an apology that was 1000 words long to my ex-twitter bff i had been in semi-love with that i had friend broken up with a year and a half earlier and i thought about the apology in january for the anniversary and in june because i was like oh my god i need to send this for when it's 18 months behind us. so i thought about doing this for months i wrote it rewrote it then i wasn't satisfied with it by the day i wanted to send it on (july 22) so i was like wait. am i actually crazy and incredibly self-involved for wanting to do this. and the answer was yes

#we were VERY close for like a year so it's not like she didn't care when we like stopped talking and when after six weeks of not talking i #told her i didn't think we were made to be friends and other vague reasons that didn't mention that i was lowkey in love with her #because i literally couldn't tell her it was BAD (the friend break up message was prompted i didn't just tell her hi how have you been #let's not be friends anymore) #she didn't even say she was sorry when my grandpa died when she had dmed me when my grandma died a year earlier even though we weren't even #actual friends then we were just favorite mutuals without knowing if it was mutual or not...it was at the start of the six weeks so it #wouldn't even have been weird! #but anyway. what's crazy is i told my twitter priv followers that i was thinking about doing this and they didn't even stop me. fake fans #because what was wrong with me? #i was like let's think am i doing this because i think she'd like to hear it or because i want to say it to her. then i was like okay nvm😭😭 #i didn't even think about the friend break up anniversary this year that's crazy it was the first time. i mean it's only been four #years it's not like i thought about it every year for 20 years. #i saw her irl (twice she even met my mom) i have a relative amount of class i didn't just like the way she typed...(i've already said this) #i reread the apology slash explanation because i was looking at the files on my usb drive that i've had since i was 10. and it was #on it lmao #and like i say: brf slt

[thatdude-noah]

it's so crazy to me that im getting glasses again for the first time since fifth grade. so much of my life could've been easier if i had been wearing glasses this whole time. and it's such an easy solution! i knew i needed glasses! but instead ive spent a significant portion of my life struggling and falling behind because of my mother's refusal to get me the help i needed and be kind to me.

#sorry guys this whole glasses thing is making me go through it #i've had terrible headaches whenever i read. i used to love reading. but now i can barely do it. #driving at night is difficult! i can't see properly. it scares me. #and these things could've just. been solved? so long ago? #but instead i got glasses and my mom decided to insult me. #to say glasses make me look ugly. to say i was too young to need glasses. i should avoid wearing them as much as i can. #that's crazy. that's fucking crazy.

[ladymariayuri]

Tw cringe but It's at the point where experiencing the bare minimum of compassion and sympathy from a family member is like. Wow I forgot how it felt to be a real life human person

#i dont talk to my mom often for good reason but i told her driving 4 hours home twice in 2 days would just give me crazy anxiety #and its costly #and she just said oh thats completely understandable i know how you feel anxiety is terrible isnt it #and its like huh. maybe the world isnt full of spiders and demons