#my mom keeps trying to get me to make art my career right away and it's not as simple as that and she just doesn't get how much work that is | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

heartateasee · 2 months

Text

“One”

Word Count: 7.4k

(Part one of “Goodnight and Go”)

⋆★★⋆

Sitting in the extremely overpriced restaurant for my sister Gwen's birthday, I look over to my friend, Kieran, who's to the right of me. I tip my head back in a laugh at something she said as Harry makes his way back to the table after dismissing himself to the bathroom. He and Gwen are seated across from us, and I look over at him with a smile. I can tell that something's been nagging at him all night - the look in his eyes showing that he kept going somewhere else, and wasn't exactly present during conversation.

I kept trying to meet his gaze every now and then, to try to give him some kind of expression to ask what was wrong, but he grew too fidgety for that. Kieran continues to talk to me while I hold my glass with my cocktail in it against my chest, still keeping my sight set on Harry as he takes his seat again - his eyes never meeting mine. His arm drapes over the back of Gwen's chair, and I watch as the tips of his fingers caress the outside of her arm.

Swallowing harshly, I look away from them and back over to Kieran, engaging in our previous conversation as to get my mind off of whatever my best friend could be going through. I knew Gwen had been a bit demanding on how she wanted this birthday dinner to go, considering it was her 30th, and I figured that maybe Harry was just anxious about making sure that everything went the way she hoped. He always hated disappointing her, and he always strived to make sure he did right by her.

But that's who Harry is. He's always a people pleaser - never wanting to upset anyone.

We had already made our way through our meals, and we were all waiting for the dessert to be served. My parents sat on the other side of Gwen, and I watched as my mom continued to gush about her oldest turning 30 - tears springing to her eyes as she went on about it. I had to keep myself from rolling my eyes at that. It wasn't that my parents preferred Gwen over me, but she was definitely more successful than I currently am, and they took every opportunity to brag about her accomplishments.

That's not to say that they aren't proud of me as well, but it's a lot easier to brag about your daughter who's a country renowned interior designer instead of your daughter who's currently finishing up her tattooing apprenticeship. They've had several conversations with me about how they didn't mind the career path I had gone with, but they were a bit disappointed that I had decided to use my art degree on tattooing instead of going into a different field of art.

The only person who really encouraged me to follow my apprenticeship was Harry, which wasn't surprising considering all the ink that adorned his body. I've had the honor of tattooing him a few times, nothing super big, but it meant a lot that he trusted me in that way. Just recently he let me tattoo a bird cage among his ribs, and before that it was an eagle on his forearm. Gwen doesn't mind tattoos, she has a small one herself, but she wasn't super thrilled at the fact that Harry had added to the existing ink on his arms - on display most of the time for others to see.

A few minutes pass before Harry clears his throat and stands from the table again, and I look up to him as his eyes scan over all of us. "Good evening everyone," he says, shoving his hands into the pockets of his dress pants as he looks back over to Gwen. "I just wanted to take a moment to say some words about the birthday girl before our dessert gets here."

Everyone quiets down, and their attention quickly becomes focused on him.

"As you know, Gwen and I have been dating for the past six years, all thanks to the help of my best friend, and her sister, Carter," he gestures his hand over to me as he speaks, and I hope the expression I give him comes off as adoration, and not one of jealousy. "I was introduced to Gwen not too long after Carter and I finished college, and I guess the rest is history."

He looks over at Gwen who's staring up at him with the widest smile, and I can see the love she has for him swirling in her eyes as he continues. "These past six years have been truly the best ones of my life. From the time Gwen and I started dating, we've practically been inseparable, but I guess that's what happens when you just know," he chuckles nervously as he brings a hand up to rub the back of his neck. "She's definitely wrangled me in a bit, because if you had seen me in college, like Carter had, you would know I was a bit wild."

I can't help but let out a giggle at that statement because it was nothing but the truth. Harry and I got into so much trouble during those four years together, and I'm honestly shocked that we even graduated on time with how much we would party.

"It's been such an honor to watch Gwen grow in her career, and to also have her encourage me with mine," Harry was now head of an art gallery, and he works from home mostly. I know he adores his job. "I'm also a little happy that she's turning 30 before me so I can hold that over her head for a bit."

Gwen lets out a loud laugh, reaching out to swat the back of her hand against Harry's stomach playfully - causing him to chuckle. I watch as they hold each other's eyes, and then Harry slips his hand into the front pocket of his blazer.

"With all that being said, Gwen is absolutely the love of my life, and I couldn't imagine going through the rest of this life without her," Harry speaks as he lowers himself onto one knee, holding out a small ring box that he opens up. "So, Gwen Adams, will you marry me?"

Almost instantly the noises around me muffle, and I feel my pulse quicken in its pace. I stare at the scene in front of me, my best friend on his knee in front of my sister, asking her to spend the rest of their lives together.

My best friend. The man I'm utterly in love with.

I can feel that my eyes are wide, and I know my expression is one of complete shock, but my mind cannot find the motions to help me change my face. This was a surprise to say the least. Harry hadn't said a single thing to me about proposing to Gwen, and although the act of it all is painful for me, it's even more painful that he wouldn't even tell me that this is what he was planning.

Was I even his best friend anymore?

I shouldn't be surprised though.

When I introduced Gwen and Harry for the first time, I didn't think anything of their interaction. Harry lived in my parents house with us briefly between finishing college and starting his new job as the apartment he had found couldn't let him move in until August. It was a wonderful summer that consisted of Harry and I lounging around the pool mostly, both of us starting our new jobs in the fall to give us some time off after graduating. We owed it to ourselves because even though we still had fun in college, we absolutely worked our asses off for our degrees.

Never once did I really see Gwen and Harry hanging out, or even speaking without me present when he lived with us. Once Harry moved out, and we both started working, it damaged me a bit. We would go a week or so without seeing each other, and that was so unlike us, but we were both busy.

It was almost two months after Harry's move out that Gwen and I were hanging out in my room one night, both of us on our laptops basically doing nonsense. That was when she first told me that Harry had asked her out on a date, and to say I was shocked would be an understatement. And just like right now, I was shocked that Harry hadn't even said anything to me about them dating.

Sure, I knew that it might be a bit awkward for him to tell me that he had asked my sister on a date, but I thought we were close enough to where we could open in that way. It hurt to have to find out from Gwen, and not Harry himself.

After their first date happened, I stood and watched as their relationship progressed, and I can't even count how many times I laid in my bed those first few months - crying myself to sleep. I had no one to blame myself, and I knew that. Never once did I make Harry aware of what I was feeling towards him. I had been scared to tell him, and I realized it was much too late to do so given that he was involved with my sister.

So I did what any loving sister would do, because I do adore my sister, no matter how much we butt heads. I kept my mouth shut, and I stood alongside them as they figured out their relationship - watching as it blossomed. If the relationship had failed, I wouldn't have hesitated to tell Harry how I felt, not wanting to make the same mistake twice. However, their relationship only grew stronger, and I loved both Harry and my sister so much that I would never impose on what they were creating.

I'm drawn out of my thoughts when I hear Gwen's chair scratch against the ground. "Yes!"

Tears begin to burn in my eyes, and I force a smile on my lips so those around me think they're tears of joy, when truly they're tears of pure confusion. There's a part of me that is so happy for the both of them, but another part of me is devastated. Unless something drastic happens between the two of them, I know this is it.

Every chance I've had at the future I've so helplessly envisioned with Harry is shattered in this very moment.

"No question, Harry, yes," Gwen squeals as she hops up from her seat, wrapping her arms around Harry's neck as he wraps his around her waist - lifting her from the ground to twirl her around.

Once he sets her down, I watch as he slips the ring onto her finger - their lips immediately connecting afterwards.

I join along in the clapping around me once I realize it's happening. I blink, and tears begin to stream down my cheeks. It's evident I need to step away for a moment before I embarrass myself in front of everyone.

Sucking in deep breaths, I push myself up from the table, and I spare no one a second glance as I practically stumble towards the bathrooms. I push myself inside as a sob bellows from my lips - echoing off the tiled walls around me. My hands grip to one of the marbled sinks as I tuck my chin to my chest. I feel as if every part of my body could just give away, and it's all my fault. This is my doing. I have no one to blame but myself for the way I'm feeling.

I lift a hand to slam against the mirror in front of me - shaking my head. There's nothing more I need than to calm myself down. Gwen is someone who can read people like an open book most of the time, and if I go back out looking like a mess she will question me to no end.

Realizing I was very much out in the open in this bathroom, I made my way into one of the stalls - shutting and locking the door behind me. I grabbed some toilet paper and dabbed underneath my eyes to try and dry up my tears without smearing my makeup around.

I didn't even hear the door to the bathroom open until I heard my name. "Carter?"

Instantly I recognize the voice as Kieran, and I bite down on my bottom lip to try and swallow down some of the sadness in my voice before answering. "I'll be out in just a minute."

I look down to see that Kieran is now standing in front of my stall.

"I can tell you're crying. Please, open the door and let me in."

Sighing, I unlock the stall door, and I swing it open to see Kieran with a frown already on her face. She opens up her arms, and walks forward as if she wants to hug me, but I quickly put one of my hands up to stop her.

"Don't," I whisper, shaking my head. "If you hug me right now I'll lose it completely, and then I'll have to go home."

Kieran drops her arms with a nod. "I understand. I just hate seeing you like this, and I know what just happened out there is crushing you."

"He didn't even tell me, K," my bottom lip trembles as I speak. "Why wouldn't he tell me?"

"I-I don't know. I don't know why-"

"And my parents didn't mention it either, and I know Harry would have asked my dad for permission before proposing. I don't understand," I can feel myself getting worked up again, but I can't stop. "This is really it. No turning back now for either of them. It's final."

"No, not yet," Kieran says, reaching out to take my hand that wasn't holding onto toilet tissue. "Carter, I know you've never wanted to tell him how you feel, but if you don't do it soon, you'll never be able to. I think you owe it to yourself with how long you've kept it inside to tell him before it really is final."

"That's selfish," I state firmly. "I can't do that to Harry, or to Gwen."

"It might be selfish, yes, but you deserve to be a little selfish every once and a while. I know it's dangerous considering it's your sister, and he's your best friend, but I think you'll regret it in the long run if you never tell him."

Silence takes over, and I feel Kieran rubbing her thumb against the back of my hand. "I need to get back out there," I say, and I move around her to exit the stall.

Standing in front of the mirror, I fix my hair up a little bit, and then I run the tissue underneath my eyes to clean up the mascara that had gathered there. My eyes are red, and it'll be obvious that I was crying, but everyone out there is currently crying due to this engagement. I'm hoping it'll just look like that's what happened to me as well, and that they're not tears of absolute devastation.

"I'm not going to force you to do anything, obviously I can't," Kieran places her hand on my back. "But definitely think it over, alright? It's Harry, and you've known him for how long now? Nine years? Almost ten? I think that he would want you to be honest with him."

I breathe out a shaky sigh as I pull my sheer lip gloss out of the pocket of my dress, running the applicator over my lips. "What if he tells her though? I wouldn't blame him for telling her either, but she'll lose it. I probably wouldn't be invited to the wedding anymore. She would more than likely keep me from seeing him in general."

"I don't think he'd tell her if you asked him not to," Kieran's voice is soft as she speaks to me, and I meet her eyes in the mirror. "I know you guys may have drifted apart just a little bit, but he's still Harry. He cares about you enough to separate some things when it comes to you and Gwen."

I know that if I continue to keep talking about this now that there's no way I'll be able to go back out there and look presentable. "I'll see you at the table, okay?"

Looking away from Kieran, I begin to wash my hands in the sink, focusing on taking deep breaths to keep myself as calm as possible. I see the door to the bathroom open out of my peripheral and I know that she's left me. I pull my hands out from under the running water, having them quiver as I grab a few paper-towels to dry them off.

I take one last look in the mirror before giving myself a nod. My heart pounds as I make my way back to the table, and I see that my mom is holding Gwen's hand in hers - completely making over the ring while Harry is talking to my dad. Sitting myself back down, I can see that Kieran is keeping her sights on me as I gulp down the rest of my cocktail that was extremely watered down by now. It didn't seem like too many people noticed my absence, thankfully, and I left and came back practically undetected.

The wait staff comes back out with the trays of dessert, and Gwen and Harry take their seats again as they begin to put them down onto the tables in front of us.

"Excuse me," I speak up as the one waiter who had been taking care of our table specifically tonight places my cheesecake in front of me. "Would it be possible for me to have another cocktail and a shot of silver Casamigos, please?"

He gives me a nod and continues to serve the desserts to the others, and I hear Gwen let out a laugh.

"You're not going to order me a shot for my birthday or to, I don't know, celebrate my engagement, Carter?"

I look over to her, and I immediately feel Kieran's hand giving my knee a squeeze underneath the table.

"You don't like tequila," I speak up, and I can feel Harry's eyes burning into the side of my face as I stare at my sister. "Besides, you're usually not one for shots either."

Gwen rolls her eyes and leans over to whisper something into Harry's ear. He looks over to her with a nod, and he too grabs our waiter before he's able to walk away from the table. "Can we have two shots of Fireball whenever you get a chance, please?"

Now I'm the one who wants to let out a laugh when I hear Harry order shots of Fireball. He absolutely despises it, and I've known that since the first party we attended together. He's always been a tequila guy when it came to shots. Fuck, he was the reason that I even started to drink tequila. He told me that over time that I'd get used to it, and he was right - now it's the only thing I can take shots of.

"Congratulations, by the way," I say, but I'm no longer looking at Gwen.

I'm looking directly at Harry as his dark sage eyes meet mine. He lets them hang there for a minute before he looks away. It's obvious he's feeling some sort of shame for keeping this from me.

"Thanks, Carter," Gwen answers for both of them as we begin to dig into our desserts.

It's only a few minutes later when the waiter comes and drops off a fresh cocktail for me, as well as the shots that we had ordered. As much as I want to just gulp this shot down by myself, I know that I need to do something so I don't keep making myself seem so obvious.

I take in a deep breath as I remove my napkin from my lap, and I stand. I'm holding my shot in my hand, and it's not until I tap my knife lightly against my glass that I capture everyone's attention.

"Hi, good evening," I huff out a nervous laugh as the conversation starts to die down, and I tuck a strand of hair behind my ear with my freehand. "As you all know, I'm Carter, Gwen's little sister, and I'm also one of Harry's best friends-"

"My best friend," Harry interrupts, and I look down at him for a moment. His face holds a tenderness that I know is caused by the mixed feelings he's been seeming to battle all evening, and as much as I want to continue to be angry with him, I can't help but send him a smile.

"Sorry, Harry's best friend," I giggle, causing others to laugh around the table as well. "And I just want to say that I'm extremely proud of the successes that Gwen has been able to accomplish over these last few years. Not everyone can say that their sister is an interior designer that's known nationwide, am I right?

"But on top of that, I've obviously been around for Gwen and Harry's relationship from the beginning, having introduced the two of them, and it's been such a joy watching their relationship flourish," the words feel like acid on my tongue as they fall from my mouth, but I keep up my charade. I have to - not only for them, but also for me. "It'll be nothing but beautiful to watch the two of you grow even further together, now for the rest of your lives. Cheers to you both, and happy birthday, Gwen!"

I lift my shot in the air, Gwen and Harry lifting theirs as well as everyone around us lifts their glasses in celebration. The burn of the clear liquor causes me to cough a bit once I swallow, and I set my empty shot glass back down onto the table. I take my seat back down next to Kieran who turns to me with a smile.

"That was really nice, Car," she whispers, taking her hand in mine - rubbing the pad of her thumb against the back of it. "I know they both appreciated it."

Kieran has been one of my best friends since ninth grade, and she was the first person from back home to actually meet Harry when she came to visit me for a weekend when I was in college. She tried to tell me back then that I had feelings for Harry, and I vehemently denied it, but I knew that deep down she was right. I hadn't even realized myself really when she brought it up.

Of course, Harry and Kieran hit it off right away. Harry is always so good with new people - something that I've struggled with, but he's actually helped me a lot these last few years when it comes to coming out of my shell more.

"I had to say something," I say lowly. "Gwen would never let me hear the end of it if I didn't say something about it being her birthday, and now her engagement day."

The rest of the night continues, and before I know it, we're all getting up and heading out of the restaurant. Kieran had already slipped out earlier as she had to get up early for work tomorrow, so I was pretty much on my own for the last thirty minutes of dinner.

We begin to say our goodbyes, and after I hug my parents, I head over to Gwen and Harry.

"Thanks for your speech, sis. It was sweet," Gwen says as she hugs me, planting a kiss to my cheek before she walks over to one of her friends. I can hear them behind me squealing, and I know they're probably fawning over her ring.

Harry has his hands tucked in his pockets as he walks closer to me, sending me a soft smile.

"So you're marrying my sister, huh?" I ask, tilting my head to the side. "I definitely wasn't expecting you to pop the question tonight."

"I honestly wasn't really either," he shrugs, licking over his bottom lip. "I just asked your dad last week, and got the ring a couple of days ago. It had been something that I had been thinking about for a while, but I didn't know when I wanted to do it. I figured tonight was good considering a lot of the people who care most about her would be here."

Well, at least he didn't have this planned for months without telling me.

I hum in response, giving him a small nod before looking out to the parking lot to see if my Uber that I had ordered myself was approaching or not.

"I wanted to tell you about it too. I promise, Carter," Harry continues, and I look back over to him to see his sage eyes pleading with me to believe him. "I'm not going to lie though...it kind of slipped my mind with how chaotic planning got for tonight overall."

His words can't help but feel like a stab to my heart. So he just forgot about me?

"Don't worry about it," I say, clipping my words slightly. I want him to know that I'm upset.

Harry's eyebrows narrow at the tone I'm using, and I turn my attention back to the parking lot when I hear rocks crunching near the sidewalk. I clear my throat and tilt my head towards the car. "That's me."

Harry purses his lips to the side as he walks me over to the car, and he opens the backdoor for me before peering over to the driver. "Who are you here for?"

I try not to let that feeling he gives me swirl in my stomach too much, but knowing that he's always continuing to look after me has the way I feel about him pushing forward. He's always been so adamant about me asking the rideshare about who they're here for, instead of asking them if they're here for me - just in case.

"Carter," the man replies, and Harry gives him a nod.

He looks back down at me, and he quickly wraps his arms around me - bringing me into his body. I suck in a deep breath, getting a noseful of his signature cologne, and I close my eyes. As much as I want to fight it, I hold him back with my hands pressed against his shoulder blades.

"Text me when you get home, okay?" Harry mumbles against the top of my head after planting a kiss against it.

"Okay," I sigh, my voice slightly muffled due to the way I have my cheek squished against his chest.

"And I'm sorry," he whispers. "I want to make it up to you. It was shitty for me not to tell you. Let's find a day to hang out soon, just you and I."

I lift my head up as he does, and I force myself not to get lost in his eyes. "Sure, yeah. We can figure it out tomorrow."

Harry gives me a smile, his bunny teeth just barely peeking out from under his top lip. "Okay."

I reluctantly drop my arms from around him, knowing he's never one to break a hug first, and I slide into the backseat of my Uber. Harry makes sure I have my legs inside before leaning down. "Goodnight, Carter."

"Goodnight, Harry."

Harry shuts the door, and I lay my head back against the headrest as we drive off. I fiddle with the ring on my index finger, spinning it around and around as I replay tonight in my head. A feeling of guilt overwhelms me when I realize that any other normal sibling would be happy that their sister got engaged, but I'm over here in agony - only thinking about how her getting married will also make the man I love completely unattainable.

Not only did it make me feel guilty, it just made me feel gross overall. It's not like Gwen knew how I felt about Harry, so who am I to feel such distaste towards her, and this engagement? It would be different if she knew I was in love with him, but she doesn't. No one but Kieran does, and the only reason why she knows is because it slipped out during a drunk night at a party.

Ironically enough, it was a lot like tonight, and I was crying in the bathroom after witnessing Harry and Gwen make out for the first time on the couch. We were all drunk off of our asses, and that's the reason why I knew Harry was okay with doing that in front of everyone because he's usually very private when it comes to such things.

Kieran had found me in the upstairs bathroom, and she forced her way in and held me on the cold tiled floor as I cried. It was embarrassing to say the least, but she's never judged me for it. I just kept babbling over and over again about how much I loved him, and how I just wish I had told him before he got involved with Gwen.

After I had calmed down enough, Kieran's boyfriend at the time ended up taking us back to her place since he was the DD. We cuddled in her bed all night, and I remember falling asleep to her telling me that one day he'll know that I love him, and that things might end up being different.

That definitely won't be the case now.

We soon arrive outside of my apartment building, and I get out after thanking the driver, heading up to the third floor. I let myself inside, tossing my keys into the small bowl on the table near my door before heading into my bathroom. I immediately remove my contacts, and then take my makeup off with my skincare routine following after. I pull my phone out of the pocket of my dress - shooting Harry a text that I had made it home.

Once in my bedroom, I change out of my dress and into a pair of sleep shorts and a tank top. I sink down into my bed, and I stare at the ceiling as I replay tonight over again in my head. The image of Harry getting down on one knee seems to be burned into the forefront of my mind. It's causing me to feel so conflicted.

I knew it was wrong for me to fantasize that he was getting down on his knee like that for me, instead of my sister, but I couldn't help it. Unfortunately, I had planned out a lot of little life moments in my head with Harry, and an engagement was one of them.

It's like I've been torturing myself throughout all these years by envisioning steps of a relationship that will never happen.

I'm drawn out of my self-inflicted agony when I feel my phone vibrate on the bed next to me. I pick it up, and suck in a deep breath when I see that it's from Harry. I hover my thumb over the notification for a moment before deciding just to go ahead and open his text.

From: Harry

10:57 pm

"Glad to hear it. Gwen and I just got in not too long ago ourselves. She's already knocked out, but what else is new when she lays down after drinking? Haha. Can you let me know your schedule for next week? I want to cook you dinner, and have you come over to mine so we can talk about how I'm a shithead. Maybe then you can let me beg you to please let me still be your friend."

Tears fill my eyes as I read his text, and I let out a small giggle at his words. Even when he knows he's wrong, which rarely is ever the case, he makes it his mission to still make me laugh somehow. I contemplate just leaving the text until morning, and letting him think I fell asleep, but I'd rather go ahead and get this over with tonight.

To: Harry

10:59 pm

"I'm definitely not surprised. You know she falls asleep fast anyway, and adding alcohol just makes it worse. Haha. I'm at the shop Monday-Wednesday all day. and then Saturday during the day. Let me know what day works best for you, and I'll be there."

Only a minute or so passes before his next text comes through.

From: Harry

11:01 pm

"How about Saturday night? I'll make your favorite, or we can be nostalgic and make some cheap ramen and eat massive amounts of junk food like we did back in the day. You choose."

I shake my head at him with a smile, pushing my tears back that were still threatening to fall as I mark his text as 'unread', deciding I'll get back to him in the morning.

Harry and I had dinner together practically every night when we were in college after we grew so close, and most of the time it did just consist of some ramen and bags of chips. He was fortunate enough that he didn't live on campus, and was without a roommate, so he let me crash there a lot considering I hated the roommate I had my second year. He was truly a godsend, and I'm lucky that I just so happened to choose the seat next to him in Biology during the spring semester of my second year.

Trudging down the hallway of the newest building they'd built on our college campus, I realized I was very much lost. I, thankfully, had given myself plenty of time to get to my classes today, so I still had about ten minutes to spare before I really was going to be in deep trouble. I nibbled on my bottom lip nervously as I made my way onto the second floor - my eyes scanning over the numbers.

Finally I found room 206, and when I walked inside, a lot of the seats were already taken. I soon noticed a seat that was open towards the middle of the room, and I made my way over to it. I shrugged my jacket off once I sat, draping it over the back of the seat before I opened up my bag to pull out my textbook and binder for taking notes.

I could feel that the person next to me had their eyes on me, but I chose to ignore them. I wasn't the best at talking to new people, and I didn't want to make a fool of myself by stumbling over words while trying to speak.

"Did you draw those yourself?" I heard them speak up - their voice was deep.

I froze from trying to locate my pen in my bag once I heard them, and I flicked my eyes over to the front of my binder to see some of the sketches that I had done on display for the stranger to see. I had honestly forgotten that I put them in there - doodling was just something I did while trying to pass time between classes, and sometimes I'd just slide them into the front of my binders.

Turning to look over my shoulder, I'm met with big green eyes that were clearly eager in nature. My eyes trailed over his chiseled bone structure, and the fullness of his pink lips. His hair hung just a little ways below his shoulders, and I watched as he lifted a hand to run his fingers through the front of his long curls while gliding his tongue along the inside of his rosy cheek.

"I-I," I cleared my throat to avoid stammering even further while I gathered my thoughts. "I did, yes. Just a hobby of mine."

"Well they're really good. Are you here for art?"

"I am, actually," I nodded, looking back down into my bag to continue rummaging through it.

"Here," I looked back over to see a pen now placed on the top of my textbook, and I looked over to the stranger with my brows pinched together on my forehead.

"But then you won't-"

I stopped speaking as he gave me a small smirk, placing another pen down in front of him. "No worries, love. I've got a spare."

Closing up my bag, I set it down on the floor as I sat up properly in my chair, but I turned to face the man. "Well, thank you. I do appreciate it."

"Again, it's no worries," he smiled as he held out his large hand, and I saw that it was adorned with many rings, as well as a cross tattoo on the back of it - between his thumb and index finger. "I'm Harry, by the way."

"Carter," I replied as I slipped my hand into his.

It was so soft, and his smile grew wider as he gave my hand a nice shake. "Nice to meet you, Carter."

We were soon interrupted by the professor walking into the room before they started up their lecture. I could see Harry stealing glances at me every now and then throughout the class, and soon I saw him move his notebook to sit between the two of us. I looked down, and I saw that he had written a little note.

"He sounds a little like Kermit the Frog, don't you think?"

I had to quickly clamp my hand over my mouth, and I disguised my laughter as a cough as Harry pursed his lips. He rolled them slightly over to the side while doing his best to not draw attention to us, but I could tell he was holding his laughter back too.

Once I got a hold of myself, I grabbed my own notebook - writing him a note back before moving it to lay next to his.

"Definitely. Do you think he'll give us a performance of 'Rainbow Connection' if we ask nicely?"

This time Harry was the one that had to move quickly to stifle his laughter, bringing his fist up to cover his lips that were fighting off a large smile. We glanced at each other quickly before looking back up to the board to focus on the professor.

Once class was over, I started to pack up my things, and I almost dropped Harry's pen into my bag before remembering that it wasn't mine.

"Oh, here," I said, extending it out to him as he stood up from his seat.

A smirk planted itself on his face as he shook his head. "Keep it. I've got plenty."

I just nodded, standing up myself - draping the strap of my bag over my shoulder.

"I'll see you around, Carter."

After that day, Harry and I would talk a lot in class, but it wasn't until the first group project where we decided to buddy up that our friendship truly started. We both were taking the class as an elective, so even though we took it seriously, we still had a lot of fun. We were attached at the hip, and a lot of people thought we were a couple, but we dismissed those rumors on the spot.

I didn't realize just how I felt about Harry then myself, so I didn't feel like I was lying or hiding anything by denying those claims.

He was the friend who took me to my first college party, my first bar when I turned twenty-one, and also accompanied me on several tattoo and piercing journeys. Harry is just that friend that you want around you all the time. The guy that you could never get sick of to matter how much time you spent together. I can remember the time that I realized that I did have such strong feelings for him - feelings that measured beyond a simple friendship on my end.

It terrified me at first, and I actually shut myself away from him for almost two weeks because I felt so overwhelmed.

We had gone to a formal, each of us being asked by other people to go, and I had to give props to Harry's date for asking him herself - not the other way around. The guy that asked me to go was someone in my art history class, and he seemed nice enough. Harry and I ended up going in two different groups, which had my anxiety at an all time high, but I fought through it so that I could enjoy my night.

It wasn't even an hour into the formal when I went to look for my date who said he was using the restroom, and I ended up finding him in the hallway making out with another girl who had come with our group - her own date forgotten about just like me, apparently. I became a mess, and I didn't even process those around me as I made my way back through the main banquet hall so that I could get outside. I knew I needed fresh air or else I was going to absolutely work myself up even worse than I already had.

Choking on a sob, I had sat myself down on one of the curbs outside, pulling my phone out of my clutch with shaking hands. I was just going to get a taxi, and head back to my dorm for the night, but it was barely seconds later that I felt a hand over my shoulder. I looked over, and saw that it was Harry crouched down next to me with concern growing in his eyes.

He didn't ask any questions at first - he just sat down next to me while pulling me into his arms as I continued to cry. I remember repeating over and over how he needed to just leave me, and go back to his date, but he refused. He kept assuring me that I was always going to be the most important person to him, and that he wasn't going anywhere.

"You deserve so much better than him, Carter," he told me once I looked up at him, and he tucked a strand of hair behind my ear. "Fuck any guy that would ask you here, have you look so beautiful, and then just leave you like that. Those aren't real men. Those are little boys."

Harry did eventually end up leaving me for just a bit to go inside and tell his date that he was heading out. Thankfully she was cool, and she understood once he explained the situation. Everyone knew how close Harry and I were, so it didn't come as a surprise to her that he would want to tend to me.

He took me back to his apartment that night, dressing me in some of his pajamas since I hadn't brought any of my own stuff, and we cuddled on the couch while watching Full House reruns.

I remember the way his fingers felt as he stroked my hair. I remember how his lips felt against my forehead, and my temple as he pressed soft kisses to them throughout the rest of the night. I remember waking up to him carrying me into his room when I fell asleep on the couch. I remember the way he curled his body around mine, completely spooning me as we slept in his bed.

It didn't hit me that night how I felt about him, but when I woke the next morning with a warmth in my chest at the way his frame shaped to mine, that's when I realized.

After declining his request to make me breakfast, I fled back to my apartment, and I hauled myself away until I was ready to face him again. I used the excuse that I was processing what happened to me at the dance - that was the first time I ever lied to Harry. The truth was that I was finding it difficult to process my emotions when it came to him.

When I finally found it in myself to see him again, he didn't treat me any differently, and things just fell right back into place. I honestly think that's what made me fall for him even harder. He was just so understanding.

Turning onto my side after taking off my glasses, I pull the covers further up my body, practically tucking them underneath my chin as I close my eyes. I do my best to get my mind to shut off, and to let me rest, but I know that a good night's sleep is definitely not in my future - at least not tonight.

#harry styles #harry styles au #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles fic #harry styles writing #harry edward styles #harry styles ff #fanfiction #harry styles short story

100 notes · View notes

joseimukeaddict · 4 days

Text

Probably gonna fail a class so here are random headcanons for Izumi Tachibana from A3!

(It’s pretty long IMO and not proofread, sorry)

(I also am not caught up with the JP main story past Act 10 so sorry if anything contradicts sth that happens later)

CW: it gets kinda depressing near the end, my mood kinda seeped in ��; mostly backstory stuff

——

- my girl is bi (more so bc I want a chance)

- her mom was always a stickler for a clean house so she’s super serious about making sure everyone does their chores, even more than Sakyo

- this one is more about Yukio and her mother but that man’s taste is women is definitely serious women in charge (they say you tend to fall for someone similar to your parents *winkwonk* SakyoIzu being the gender bent ver *winkwonk*

- Women on top tho, the men are simps (Yukio has to call at least once a week or else)

- On that note, her mom definitely holds grudges by the way she doesn’t even want Yukio to be mentioned in her household; Izumi holds mini-grudges too but they eventually fade with time bc she’s forgetful and just really nice

- not one to scream at a person when she’s angry, just raises her voice and speaks in a firm tone (she’s really good at choosing the right words though so it’s kinda worse to get her mad bc she’s usually so tolerant and her words hit deep)

- always speaks from the heart so this skill not transfer to acting 😭

- when her dad left so suddenly, she tried watching plays to cope but then started crying in the middle of the performance bc she thought of what her dad would think of a specific scene bc they used to do daddy-daughter play trips

- briefly tried to take up a different artistic hobby instead of theatre but when that failed, she just threw herself into her studies

- average student but she can get higher scores if she really tries

- scores into a pretty good college but a friend encourages her to go to a decent college that at least has a good arts program bc they’re worried Izumi is gonna throw away her life’s passion

- although she had that horrible experience where the theatre head told her she has no acting talent, at least being able to help create plays with backstage work rekindles her love of theatre and gives her an even greater appreciation for behind the scenes positions

- she works her way up the back stage ladder, trying out all sorts of different jobs to get a feel for each of them and eventually gets to an assistant director position

- and she’s absolutely in love with it (my girl is a career woman through and through)

- she gets why her father loved it so much although he was a great actor himself

- so thankful to the friend who encouraged her to go to that college, they’re still in contact (long distance bc she’s still at their home town) and they text and do late night calls often (they’re platonic soulmates dw)

- She was decently popular before daddy issues happened and lost a lot of the fair weather friends and only has a few close ones she’s made and kept over the years; she’s making more connections via theatre nowadays bc MANKAI keeps her so busy (it’s a crime that Liber doesn’t even give Izumi just one friend outside of her relation with MANKAI)

- Although MANKAI and her friend have never met, they refer to each other by nicknames at this point bc of how often Izumi catches them up on what the other is doing

- I know for a fact this girl is a praiser, she’s just so proud about them like a mother (especially when it comes to MANKAI)

- Takes almost no credit for them however, my girl has some insecurity issues being around such immensely talented people 😢

- She’s very talented in managerial aspects but she only found out after years of no talent in various arts

- She’s not one to tell people about her troubles (she knows she should) but people who know her well can tell when she needs a pick me up

- and one last happy one bc wow it got depressing and long: at least every few months, she schedules a weekend off and goes back to her hometown to spend time with her mother, after realizing that she should cherish more the family she has close by after moving into the MANKAI dorm and being reminded of family by the boys (both mother and daughter look forward to this event every time) (what do they do? Just relax and chat over Japanese snacks while her mother gives Izumi some tips on how to better run the dorm) (If you think Izumi is a praiser, her mother is worse, 1000% yaps about her wonderful daughter all the time to her friends behind Izumi’s back)

——

Sorry it was so long… too many thoughts for MANKAI’s one and only Director…

I have so many more but no one would want to read that much in one sitting. IDK Part 2 when I fail another major assignment that will cost me my grade?

#a3!#a3 headcanons #izumi tachibana #Izumi headcanons #I’m sorry for not formatting at all #I’m so tired #I just go on and on #I’ve never made a headcanons post before can you tell #why do I always post when I feel like crap

3 notes · View notes

keeganmantle · 4 months

Text

Well, it's been 2 months since that situation, and everything is back to normal, but you might be wondering how I'm feeling right now. Well, at least Tumblr is fine now. I feel fine, but of course I'm never gonna get over what that guy did. In case you don't know what I'm talking about, 2 months ago I got in some beef with this guy. I'm not saying his name since I moved on, but I'll say that I did not start it. I don't know what his deal was. He liked my stuff, said my art was good. He asked about an art trade once which I said no. What did I do to deserve this? Was he mad I turned down an art trade? Was he jealous of my work? I'll never know, and I don't care. Because as time passed, one day I'm just on my computer and I get mentioned in a post where he just keeps going off about me. When he doesn't know me at all! Talked smack about me. What was he so mad about?! Why was I a target?! I did nothing to this man. And I don't care about him at all because he's crazy. Here's why. So I just called him out and blocked him. Nothing too crazy. But then the next morning, I wake up, check my Tumblr, and I get this DM from him. He was using different accounts to harass me. He sent me very disgusting and disturbing art of him killing me. Then said he knew where I lived, knew my parents. Like, how? What a freaking maniac! I should mention he's from China and knowing what they're capable of it should be no surprise.😐

I still don't understand what he's so mad about. He kept saying awful things like he was gonna find me, do horrible things to me, all because I blocked him. If you get so butthurt about someone blocking you that you decide to threaten them, you need some serious help. I have all the evidence of what he did. I took screenshots. They're all over the internet. He was mad at me because he's crazy that's my guess. Because I like to post about my comfort characters so what? They helped me through a lot. I came to Tumblr to expand my social media content and also because Twitter keeps crapping itself. And now thanks to that guy, I kinda have trust issues on here. I'm trying to be careful interacting with people. I just don't want this to happen again. And he made me really scared of DMs. When I was on Facebook 3-4 years ago, I was 17 at the time, a bunch of middle-aged perverted women kept DMing me. It really scarred me. That was the start of me having comfort characters. I just wanna stay away from awful women. Is that so wrong? Also, since I'm in a distant relationship with my girlfriend, comfort characters help me through being lovesick.😊

But yeah, that man has traumatized me. C'mon, he said he knew where I lived, said he was gonna find me and kill me and my family! He's a psychopath! I hope he's doing his own thing now. He should've got off the internet because he came back claiming he's the victim. It makes me laugh. I know I have nothing to worry about as you guys know the truth and I know crazy people usually try to gaslight the whole situation.😁

He said I made up the whole thing. How in the world could I make this up?! He also said I made those drawings. Dude, I don't draw like that! Why would I waste my time trying to make him look bad and make those drawings myself? Why would I do that to myself?! I was just documenting what he was doing. He ruined his own life. I'm not going to apologize. I'm not gonna forgive him. Why should I? He doesn't know what I've been through. And he just cause even more anxiety. Now you see why I need my comfort characters? Because people like him exist. Also I was having suspicions about him. This thing of him threatening me in the Tumblr DMs went on for a few days. He also said to have s*xual fantasies about me. And what he did that made me lose it and end his whole career was something that would make your blood boil too. He sent me something very awful. It was an art of him violating my girlfriend! The love of my life! Then said very perverted things about her and my mom. Now see why I think he's a pervert? A predator? More importantly a r*pist?! He might as well be! You don't do that to people. Words can hurt. Actions can hurt. It all hurts.😥

I love my girlfriend so much. We met nearly 2 years ago. She was a fan of mine. Then we became good friends and then eventually started dating.😊

The whole situation of what that guy did made me feel insecure, but I know that she loves me. She told me so. Our bond is strong. I know she's fine. I feel like we were meant to be. I feel like I found the woman I wanna spend the rest of my life with. What that guy did made me really worried about her. I know it was just an art but it felt real. I get very sensitive when it comes to violence towards women. It really makes my blood boil!😡

I still cry a bit from that art. I don't want her to get hurt. Anything about women getting hurt makes me cry a bit. I don't know why, I just don't wanna see that stuff. Especially if it's my girlfriend! Whenever something like Lifetime is on TV and they're playing a movie about a girl getting abused or something I sometimes have to either try to lock my eyes to my screen if I'm on my phone or playing a game, or sometimes just walk out of the room. I'm sorry, I just can't do it. I can't handle it. Just goes to show how much I care about women at least.😁

Really, he knows nothing. He traumatized me. What he did made me wanna let out some stuff I've been holding back or at least wanted to tell you but Twitter limits so much. I can have comfort characters. These female characters helped me remember there are good women in the world. As I still deal with some disgusting cougar moms mostly p*rn bots!😐

Even on here. I got weird DMs of women saying they're h*rny and wanted to chat in a sussy link. Just give me a break! I'm not that kind of man! Anyway, thank you all so much for the love and support. It was a really embarrassing yet traumatizing situation. You don't do that to people! If you hate something, just ignore it! That's what I do. Let's make this year even better. Let's try not to let any mishaps happen. Screw the haters. Lowlifes suck! Love you guys. Thank you.❤️

#thank you #screw the haters #let's make this year better #no more mishaps #artwork

6 notes · View notes

daydreamerfox · 11 months

Text

Hi! I have a few things I wanna say! It's all under the cut so it won't occupy too much space, also, please enjoy this cute fanart of Layla, my child who I relate to way more than I wish I did

Maybe you’ve noticed that I've been kinda quiet the past few weeks… or months… Well, there’s a reason for that. At first I wasn't motivated at all to keep working with art, I mean, let's be real here, it's not really the easiest thing to work with... and we all know that. That fact plus not having my own computer to work whenever I want can lead to a lot of frustration. Feeling like drawing, but not being able to because of many reasons outside of my control can make my motivation vanish really quickly. I’m sure a lot of you can vouch for me on that, artist or not.

The thing is: I have been trying to keep going besides that, because "it's just a phase, things will get better, I just need to push past it" to a point where it was just bad for me in general and completely unhealthy.

I was avoiding drawing as much as I could and, when I did draw, I wasn't as productive as I wanted to be, because I kept getting distracted with everything else, procrastinating it as much as I could without realizing it, which would just lead to more and more frustration with myself.

I felt like I was falling behind, I wasn’t being able to post as frequently as I wanted to, so I thought maybe finishing Illustrations quickly was the way to go, but that would lead to me wanting to draw whatever and even then not being happy with the results. When I was happy with it it just didn’t get the attention I was expecting it to get, which just made me frustrated again and made me try to push myself even more, even though I didn’t have the tools I needed to finish any art piece on the time I decided to do it or I’d just pull all nighters just to get something done.

Whenever I thought of strategies of how to fix my problem I just felt lost. I knew where I wanted to get, what I wanted for myself, but I didn’t know what I should do to get there, I couldn’t get to a conclusion about it no matter what I tried. It just felt like I was doing a lot of work, but with no direction and it just made me be stuck at the same place, which would just tire and stress me instead of giving me any gratification

It got to a point where I genuinely thought about giving up working with art for good. If it was so bad for me, why would I keep trying, right? Maybe I should just try to find something I could work with instead, something that wouldn’t stress me so much, but I have to admit that just thinking about that possibility made me so anxious! Imagine myself not creating something as a career, not working on getting my comic done, not making my ocs be known, not creating art for games, it all just filled me with anxiety.

I wasn’t sure what to do anymore. Continue working in the way I was working was just tiring me, stressing me and just being terrible for me in so many different ways, but at the same time I know I need to do it for my mental health. I need to vent out, I need to express myself and the easiest way for me is through my art!

All I could think of the entire time was that I wanted my mom to still be here and help me find out what I should do!

It was a terrible weekend where I was thinking about it nonstop and wondering what to do and what path I should take. I was trying to organize my bedroom to at least try to keep my head occupied with something else for a moment, and then I found an old notebook where my mom wrote something for me and along with many things she wrote:

“Never give up on your dreams. Know that sometimes they don’t come true in the time we want because there’s always the right time for it to happen”

It might not seem much for you but this sentense alone kind of made everything click for me. It was just the one thing I needed, the advice from my mother I was looking for.

I think it’s important to say that I didn’t feel better right away, but at least I knew I couldn’t give up like I was thinking about doing. When my friends asked me what would be my decision, I still wasn’t sure, but I knew I couldn’t and I wouldn’t give up, so I wanted to try at least one last time…

Honestly I wanted to start working on it right away but I caught a cold right after I had that decision. I guess that was something else I needed: Time for me to plan out what I would do, rest, allow my body and brain to breath for a moment and not feel bad about it, just respect myself and not worry about being late for something I wasn’t late for. I shouldn't strain my body and I'm trying to understand that still. It’s not easy.

While I didn’t feel well enough to work I took a few classes on how to do what I’m planning to work on and, while that didn’t answer all my questions, at least that helped me a lot on knowing what path I should take to get to my goal. I know it won’t be easy, I know it won’t be quick, but knowing what I need to do to get there is enough for me not to be as anxious about running in circles trying to get somewhere. Even if sometimes I still get scared thinking about that possibility.

Ever since then I’ve been trying to organize myself, I’m documenting it, making a few vlogs (It’s in portuguese, but I can subtitle it for the people who can’t speak portuguese, if you guys want it). I’m planning on talking about what’s working for me and what isn’t, what are my thoughts about this process and what I wanna keep doing or not. Maybe some of it might help someone who’s struggling like I was, and if it does, then I’ll already be happy.

Making videos like that is something new for me, so it might take a bit long for now, but I want to make something nice for everyone. I’ll also write down my thoughts about it, post it here and on my other social media (I’ll try to make something kinda regular, but I’m still thinking about how often I’ll do it.) I know not everyone enjoy watching videos and sometimes can focus better on reading things and either way that’s a way for myself to organize my thoughts. I’ll write it down anyway, the difference is that I’ll post it and hopefully help someone.

I might add a few WIPs here and there, but it’ll mostly be focused on my organization and my journey to become the artist I wanna be.

I’ve also found a notion template that is actually working for me and I’m able to organize all the posts for different platforms I was so desperately trying to make (it's easier to keep track of everything if they’re in just one plae and it’s easier to reschedule things if they’re digital)

It’ll be a long way, I know that, but I’m glad I haven’t given up yet and you guys are more than welcome to join me, if you want to! I'll love to share this with you and know what's working and what isn't working for you guys! We can always share tips and tricks with each other!

I hope to be able to show up here more often and that you guys can have fun and maybe feel motivated to follow your dreams or try to reach your goals too. Maybe I’m dreaming a bit too high, but I just need to be patient and keep working for it, trying to make things work and most importantly, not giving up!

On a higher note: my sister helped me fix a laptop so I can work on it most of the time and a friend of mine is helping me build an actually good computer for myself, though I don’t know how long the latter will take, it’s already good news… at least in my opinion.

Here's my youtube channel for those who want to check on the vlogs (though I'll still let you guys know when a new video's out)

And if you prefer any other social medias:

Insta: https://www.instagram.com/daydreamerfox.art/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/daydreamerfox Twitch: https://www.twitch.tv/daydreamer_fox

#Genshin impact #Layla #Fanart #brazilian artists #brart #Sumeru #daydreamerfox #🦊 The Artist Rambles #(I should probably make one of those pretty and aesthetically pleasing deviders just so I'll be happy looking at written posts on my blog)#art.txt

11 notes · View notes

sibyl-of-space · 8 months

Text

Job huuuuuunt / career feelings

I'm basically facing the inevitability that I really cannot afford to try and go full-time freelancing right now. Even if I miraculously made all the connections I need at PAX and other conventions (which is unrealistic, it takes time to build up that kind of network), having an irregular income would make it almost impossible to figure out a loan repayment system that makes sense for my student loans, and those things are gonna be hanging over my head forever at that rate because I went to an expensive art school, which makes a lot of things difficult down the line. Trying to swing this would be the most short-sighted approach, which to date is basically how I've lived my life (and frankly I have no regrets about any of it) but I'm thinking now might be the time to think a little farther ahead.

I am serious about starting my own game studio in like ~5-10 years (or however long it takes). I am serious about finishing an episode of Amadeus every year for the next 5 years so that in 5 years I will have shipped a whole and complete game all by myself. No matter what the fuck else is on my plate, I am dead serious about those two things.

HOWEVER, if I want to start my own game studio in like ~5-10 years, that is going to be basically impossible if I'm still paying off my student loans. How am I supposed to deal with paying other people and figuring out business expenses if I'm still in a shitload of debt because I've been kind of pretending it doesn't exist and paying the minimum for as long as I can get away with? So I figure... shit, maybe it actually makes sense to go back to IT, and while I'm still living with my mom and saving a shitload on rent, basically live as frugally as possible and try to pay off the loans as fast as possible. I just applied to a county job where I live, and I could actually pay off my kind of massive loans in like... 2 years if I spend like I'm unemployed and work full-time.

This wasn't my favorite option but I'm warming up to it. One reason I wanted to avoid it is that I've grown SO MUCH as an artist the past 2 years because I've been working full-time ON ART; whereas if I'm working full-time doing literally anything else, such as in IT, I'm afraid I'll lose the skills I've been working so hard on (and uhh paid out the ass for). But on the other hand... shit, if I were to get a full-time job at an indie game studio, wouldn't that kind of be the same shit? Sure it would be a creative job, but it would still be working 40 hours a week on someone else's project. I still would have to develop Amadeus exclusively in my spare time/off hours. Also, frankly, the game audio job market is absolute ass, and I'm jaded to fuck and back after 2 months of trying to land something despite being - if I may be honest - insanely fucking qualified.

This is only going to work, though, if I am REALLY REALLY DISCIPLINED about working on Amadeus in my spare time. I cannot have it be a "ohhh if I have energy for it today" thing or it will never get finished. I'm making a calendar of monthly benchmarks for the game to ship episode 1 next summer, and even if I am working full-time in an IT role, I need to make sure I meet those benchmarks. Because if I ONLY pay off my loans but DON'T WORK ON THIS GAME TOO, that will be a waste of my education. I need to keep this up, no matter what.

I actually think that I can, though. Like I think this is something I can do. I have the ability to see things through when I am really, really serious about them; and I am really, really serious about this. Like I can see myself calling in to work and staying home to work on Amadeus if I have a deadline I'm not on track for.

So basically.... I might be committing to working really hard for 2 years for the payoff of a) no student debt and b) 2/5 shipped episodes of Amadeus. That puts me in a way better position 2 years out to decide what I want to do. If I can stick it out for closer to 3 years, then on top of paying off my loans, I can start building savings... and then "someday starting a game studio" starts to look more and more like a possibility.

Amadeus is my passion project, something that means the entire world to me, something I need to finish for my own personal happiness. But I also think that if, by the time I've finished it, I also am completely debt free and perhaps even have savings.... then maybe it can also be my gateway to launch that studio.

I don't know. I'm really not good at planning for the future. A 5-year plan is brand new for me and the only reason I'm considering it is because I'm serious about this visual novel I'm making. But... I think I finally came to terms with the fact that, you know, it's okay if maybe my composition skills slide a little bit while I'm working IT full-time. Because: they can, and will, come back.

I'm currently in the best cello shape I have been in my entire life, after like 8 years of neglecting cello completely. All it took was regular practicing and now it's back and better than ever. The same will be true for composition. I'm sure if I work IT full-time I will lose it a little, even if I offset that loss by working on Amadeus (which will obviously need music). But once I've paid my loans, when I'm ready to dedicate myself to it again, it WILL come back. I took meticulous notes in grad school and saved all of my most valuable homework assignments. I can re-learn it. I'm only 30 and my life is only beginning.

It's okay if I lose it a little bit, so long as I make sure to get it back.

#personal

4 notes · View notes

firstclassent · 3 months

Text

[Interview] Tiffany Takeda opens up on High Low podcast

Fresh from her AVN performance, Tiffany Takeda broke her silence by sitting down for an exclusive interview with Emily Ratakowski's High Low podcast.

On her upbringing in France and becoming a K-pop idol:

"I grew up in Marseille and my mother would always put me in beauty pageants and dance competitions. She was really strict and wanted me to be perfect in every way. She was a singer when she was younger and dreamed of going to Eurovision but she fell pregnant with me right before signing a record deal. My dad is Christian and wouldn't let her get an abortion, so she lost the deal and then blamed me for it. She always resented my existence, but I think she also viewed me as a way to live out her dreams vicariously. My goal was to transfer to a performing arts school in New York and pursue professional ballet, but my dad is Korean and introduced my mom to K-pop and she thought I'd have more chance making it as an idol because I'm so pretty, so she sent me off to Seoul to train and then I got signed pretty quickly after that."

On being exploited in K-pop:

"The entire K-pop industry is built on exploitation and I think my group experienced the worst of it. Our agency was small so we had to do crazy things to stand out. One of the first ad campaigns I got was for Marc Jacobs footwear and I had to pose naked in nothing but the brand's shoes. My bandmate, who was raised in America, did a nude PETA endorsement. It was crazy. We were looked at more as foreign artists rather than Korean, so we got marketed like Britney and Christina did. They wanted us to be really sexy and provocative all the time. You couldn't get away with it now because the industry has changed so much and artists have more rights. Even though we hated it, it helped us become really successful, but also caused a lot of backlash that still exists to this day. No matter how much we achieve we still get hate comments for everything we do in Korea. At one point we even started working in Japan and China just to get away from it all."

On her horrifying experience with Playboy:

"My bandmate Suzy posed for Playboy first and it was a huge hit, so they wanted me to do it next. Because I had a retro image at the time they came up with a plan for me to crossover into the US market by recreating a classic Marilyn Monroe pictorial. I agreed, but I was adamant that I'd be fully clothed and we'd keep it tasteful and classy. I went to Hugh Hefner's mansion to shoot it with my old manager, Trina and as soon as I got there Hef and Trina were trying to convince me to show more skin but I refused. We had a huge fight about it and I threatened to pull the plug on the entire shoot. They told me to go wait in one of the bedrooms to cool off, and said that once I calmed down we could do the shoot how I wanted. They gave me some green tea to relax me, and after that everything is a blur. I can barely remember the shoot, but I know some bad things happened. Anyway, when the photos came out I was completely topless - I was so embarrassed. To make it even worse, I had to promote the issue in Las Vegas and on the Howard Stern show. I smiled through the pain and pretended that I was proud of it, but I wasn't."

Why she returned to Playboy as a creator and director:

"For me, the decision to partner with Playboy was about taking my power back. Hef is dead now, god rest his soul, and they have new owners now. Once they approached me to replace Cardi B and explained how empowering their new creator platform is, I was sold. For the first time in my career I was able to monetize myself on my own terms with full control. There's nobody to direct me or pressure me or exploit me. I've even put out music through my Playboy page and I was able to experiment with new sounds and lyrics that I can't do in Asia. As far as my career goes this has opened up so many new doors, but on an emotional level I've been able to heal past traumas."

On finding financial freedom:

"I can't say how much I've made on Playboy but I will say it's the most lucrative thing that I've ever done. Me and my group were taken advantage of financially throughout our entire careers, you wouldn't believe how bad it's been. Almost every label we've been a part of has ripped us off, including the last label we were with, P Nation. We ran our own independent agency for a while but the overhead was so expensive that we barely broke even. Even before we debuted we had to do crazy things for money as trainees. I also lost millions on a lingerie line I had after my business partner scammed me. This is all very common for the idol industry, but we had it worse because of our old managers. There was actually an Italian girl that used to be in our group, but after she was fired she ended up on Skid Row. Jessica recently saw her back in Seoul and said she was begging for money and wanted to do a comeback tour, it was really sad. We wanted to help her out but we've had to enforce boundaries because she was kicked out for bullying... Anyway, thanks to Playboy I've paid off all my debts and started to invest in property, and Jessica has a big partnership with Amazon. We also sold the rights to our entire catalogue to Hybe, so financially we've all never been better."

Her next career move:

"Right now I'm just settling into my new life in Hollywood. I'm putting myself first which I've never done before. I have a lot of offers on the table but I have no idea what I want to do. Maybe I'll launch a Vegas show, write a book, I don't know. I have a lot of stories to share..."

#high low podcast #emily ratakowski #tiffany takeda #second life #k-pop #secondlife #roleplay #secondlifeblogger

0 notes

highspeed-wobble · 10 months

Text

1996 Chicago Illinois. I was 18 years old. I now have a 19 year old and a 17 year old that I love dearly. In 1996 I was told by my mom that I need to get a fuckin job. I worked at Old Orchard Mall at American Eagle Outfitters but this was the what are you doing with yourself talk. Trish made it weird some but not without reason. I had to figure a gig out. A career that could provide passage though life. My dad said he’d get me into the elevator union. That sounded fantastic. He built the elevators in Sears Tower and the John Hancock. I’d be honored to get into that line of business. My mom was really fuckin with me though. It wasn’t even June, I told her “Hey, we do well, but we aren’t gonna be to the point where I’m not going to have to work. So give me this summer to hang with my boys. My mom said, yeah I get that so she did. I piloted my 1986 Caprice through countless adventures some how we always had gasoline and beer money. Half way through the summer the Trish came at me hard. She’s all up on the job shit. I’m like Mom, it’s July what the fuck. She’s like “Yeah!! Everyone is going to be looking for a Fuckin job at the end of the summer, and you won’t have one if you wait that long.” She didn’t sugarcoat it, and she wasn’t wrong. So I thought well, I have fun at the mall with my boy Dave but I need a JOB job. If I’m stopping my summer of Metallica, Jagermeister, Cherry Coke, and Mission Impossible I need to make as much cabbage as possible. I need to consult my Uncle Mike. My uncle was absolute gold. He said yeah, I’ll get you at the liquor warehouse at Judge & Dolph in the split isle on 4 ten hour days on 3rd shift. You’ll be able to get booze for cost plus tax you start tomorrow. Oh fuck. Okay. It was awesome. My favorite thing about this job was that I’d get off work in the morning and traffic would be horrendous going into the city so I’d slide by my Uncle Mike and my grandpa for Coffee in the morning. I in that 7 week period got so much knowledge from both of them. My Grandpa Ed Doyle was a former Illinois house representative. Him, my pops, and my Uncle Mike were the pinnacle of Chicago street knowledge. Blue Collar people skills. The art of giving a fuck about your pals. I’d drink coffee I didn’t enjoy because my grandpa made it, and I’d listen to advice I didn’t ask for but I needed it. My uncle would say stuff like “People suck Kev, pay attention to who calls you. When they call you and why. Most people suck at keeping in touch, until they want something. Don’t be that piece of shit. Call your boys, ask about their Moms. Remember shit about their life. This is the stuff no one does. Because people are lazy. Don’t do that, you’re from better stock than that. Take care of your boys. Be a good friend.” Keep in mind I had a Velcro wallet and in that wallet I had a sheet of paper with my “important” phone numbers on it. I had a Mountain Dew Pager so cellphones were still 2 years away from me and my friends. My uncle was right though. My Grandpa Eddie told me, “Everyone thinks our world is black or white, you can’t be more wrong. Everything is just shades of gray. Nothing in life is that easy. You as a man have to pay attention and listen. Navigate the gray. The path will show itself if you’re actually looking and listening.” I had more lessons over coffee with my guys but really both men said the same thing. Life is about listening, life is about love. Caring about eachother and not waiting to talk. Listening in a lost art. Listening is more important than talking. I’m bad at interrupting. I am trying to work on it. I’m constantly trying to be a better listener. I’m still trying to digest the outstanding advice I was lucky enough to get 27 years ago and apply it to my Wednesday. I found in these discussions that if you’re a giver you actually get more if you’re doing it right. Caring is the patch to a rich life. They were and are legendary and I was lucky to have 7 weeks of bad coffee mixed with amazing advice. It helped shape me into the Jagoff I am today. Look after eachother and take care.

#brudderhood #fuckshitup #gumball #chicago #winowillie

1 note · View note

somelazyassartist · 3 years

Text

#uh oh! my mental health is going down the drain again #i feel so empty inside right now #and i feel worthless #what am i even doing anymore #i feel so burnt out from making content but at the same time that's all I'm good for anymore #and i can't even say I'm good at it #my mom keeps trying to get me to make art my career right away and it's not as simple as that and she just doesn't get how much work that is #and when i try to just make art because i enjoy it only one or two people care anyways #maybe it's just my lack of sleep #maybe #but everything just feels sorta hopeless right now #i dunno how else to word it #sorry #vent

8 notes · View notes

pazumane-archive · 2 years

Note

Baby fever? 🥺

Think about Wakatoshi and him having twins. Two boys, both absolutely adoring their father. Love to watch him play and snuggle with him on the sofa! He let them sleep on his chest 🥺this strong man holding his precious kids and gets soft around them!

I should think about drawing it....

PLEASE I AM IN TEARS, WAKATOSHI WITH TWINS, YES PLEASE

don't mind me spouting my dad!ushijima headcanons real quick HAHAHA

Imagine if one of his twin sons was really into sports, while the other was more interested in his mom's hobbies (like playing music, making art, performing in choir or theatre or something else these may or may not have been my interests in high school LOL).

Imagine him taking turns going to volleyball matches one week and then band concerts the next, but always supporting his twin boys as equally as he can.

No matter what their hobbies end up being, he would try his best to foster and support his kids' interests, even though he'd be just a little bummed if they didn't want to be volleyball players like their dad. He'd do a good job hiding it though

He would also be the best girl dad ever too!! He would teach his little girl how to play volleyball and then brush her hair after bath time. He's so much bigger than her that he's afraid of pulling too hard and hurting her head, but she'll cry if Daddy doesn't braid her hair before school.

He would be so soft with his kids, it doesn't matter if they're boys or girls. He's not the best with comforting words, but he's always there to hug his daughter whenever she asks or clean up the scrapes on his son's knees and wipe away his tears.

When they're little and get too riled up right before bedtime, he lays on the couch with them on his chest until they fall asleep, before carrying them to bed and tucking them in himself.

Definitely that one dad who carries his kids on his shoulders, probably far after they're too big to comfortably do so.

He's firm with discipline, but not authoritarian. He never yells. When his children are misbehaving, he sits with them and explains why their behavior isn't okay, and always makes sure they apologize sincerely.

His career keeps him busy, but he does his best to be there for his family. He'll support you if you decide you don't want to work (and with the sponsorship money he makes, you don't really need to), but he'll support you just as much if you want to keep working and hire a nanny or some other kind of extra help.

Whenever he's in the offseason, he goes FULL househusband mode. You don't have to lift a finger, and he won't let you until you demand that he needs a break too.

the brainrot is running so deep right now

wakatoshi please just give me one chance i'll be the best baby momma you could ever ask for

#i think i would die if you drew this #like i would spontaneously combust #y'all enable me so much #please don't stop though #phoenix asks #re: luri-isa #ushijima x reader #ushijima wakatoshi #haikyuu ushijima #haikyuu imagines #haikyuu headcanons #ushijima headcanons #haikyuu fluff

222 notes · View notes

everythingthemoontouches · 3 years

Note

💙Hi there! , First of all i want to tell you that i love your blog! And i love how your posts are so accurate!💙 If its okay with you could you please do me a favor by describing how others see me,my appearance or more specifically the vibe I radiate to others! It would mean alot to me if you you do that💙I'm a cancer sun,leo rising,Lilith sextile asc, Pluto trine asc, Uranus opposition asc, Moon opposition asc, mars sextile venus, mars opposition neptune, asteroid lilith conjunct mc and jupiter in the 1st house!💙

Hola!

Thank you that's really kind of you 💛💕

You know that quote that says Cinderella never asked for a prince. All she wanted was a night out and a dress. You kind of exude a similar vibe but with respect to leadership positions. 'I never asked to be Queen/King, but the people have spoken' kind of an energy. You would be equally happy to be by yourself, learning about the subconscious mind, higher realms and other esoteric science.

For more on Jupiter in LEO I'd recommend watching Astrofinesse.

For jupiter in the first there's KRS.

🌻As a Leo rising you come across as someone outgoing, with a playful energy but you're also somehow someone people would expect to see in a position of authority. You're drawn to people who stimulate you intellectually and love to exchange ideas.

��If you have an Aquarius saturn you could be having some challenges in your relationships since December 2020 as saturn transits your 7th house. I'd suggest practicing discernment in this area as well as signing contracts with people until it passes( early 2023) ..

😇12th house sun could take on other people's energy. I feel like you need some time away, by yourself, preferably at the beach / pool/ shower to declutter, clear your head and replenish your sense of Self. You could be highly intuitive. If this resonates, I'd urge you to look up empath drain and how to protect yourself from energy vampires.

Ruler of the ascendant in the 12th :

spirituality could be a huge part of your life. For some people this could show a father (figure) who was convicted or worked in a prison / asylum. They could also have a really remote job. Since the sun is also your own personal identity, you could profit off these themes. Working in a mental health facility, overseas, in esoteric crafts.

🌛With your moon in the 7th house, you probably attract a lot of older women, (queen of swords) nurturing energies . Your mom could have a major influence on any business partnerships that you enter.

In relationships you could have a here today gone tomorrow kind of a presence. This is because as the moon waxes and wanes so does your attraction / attachment to specific people?

♒Aquarius moon : it could be really hard for you to express your feelings. So Instead of asking for a hug there could be a tendency to say something like ' ew imagine asking for one?' you leave a place better than you found it. If you watch hindi movies, 3 Idiots could be a movie you really resonate with. ( I pretty much spent the day looking up the lead actor, who has major aquarius placements and his films have always been disruptive with a really nice social message that left people talking for years after they were released. I tell you this because he shares 2 of your big 3 - aquarius and cancer.)

Going off on this tangent you could be a well respected teacher / writer / entertainer. Jupiter in LEO could help with this.

I do feel like you need a certain amount of inventiveness in your relationships. The people you're with are people who introduce you to new hobbies / ideas / technologies. You need to feel like you guys learn something new or create something that matters together. This is enhanced by uranus in the 7th house. You could come across really cold because you always give people the naked honest truth when asked. You do this from a place of love. I'm reminded of the Queen of Swords card in the rider Waite tarot. Not everyone has the maturity to take it. Or maybe they've just had a bad day. It is what it is. Perhaps try to not be so incisive if this is something you struggle with.

In the same vein, if I asked you to write down how you were feeling how long would it take for you to identify the right emotion. How honest are you with yourself?

Moon and Uranus being in the same house could show that stagnation could really hurt your mental health / happiness / satisfaction levels.

With a saturn ruled moon I feel like I need to remind you to not be so hard on yourself. Like. The world won't crumble to dust if you allow yourself to take care of you once in a while.there's only so much you can do.

All those coffee mugs will catch up. There's no such thing as extra hours in the day. A lack of sleep manifests as early signs of aging. No hate for the elderly but arthritis is not a fun ailment to have. Do you wanna be 60 with 80 year old nervous system problems? I rest my case.

Uranus and moon aspect your ascendant so you could have a slightly plump look?

Jupiter in the first house people usually have prominent thighs. I had a friend with this placement and when we were growing up she used to complain of chafed thighs a lot?

Mars sextile venus you could be your own type? The way you act and the way you want your future partners to express love could be quite similar which is good for healthy relationships.

There could be a tendency to spend impulsively.

With Mars sextiling venus you could be someone who earns more the more active their lifestyle is? Like, you may need to be an agile learner to keep money flowing in .

Jupiter in LEO in a woman's chart usually shows they'd have a financially well off spouse so money may not be a huge concern. He could be a sailor or earn via exports/ navy. It's hard to say without knowing where your Saturn is.

The image you project to the world could be a lot more outgoing than how you actually feel. You're more private than people think.

With a fire rising, water sun and air moon you could either be a really balanced person or just have a number of clashing ideas on who to be, what to do and achieve.

Descendant : The people that hate on you could attack your need to stand out /try to dim your time in the spotlight. Think aquarius themes of standing out to improve community clashing with Leo's need to stand out solely because it helps their ego. Like your confidence could trigger the part if them that felt judged negatively for expressing their individuality.

Do you feel like you thrive in chaos? I'm guessing you're atleast in your late 20s if not older, so you might have gotten better at dealing with people acting unexpectedly. Your mom could have been unpredictable. Really intelligent, but forgets to eat ..

🥤🦀As a cancer sun, you could be the friend your friends come to for advice. There could be a tendency to be a little too selfless. I think your aqua moon really serves as a shield to those who try to take advantage of your caring nature. Have you considered a career in psychic medium ship? Or any spiritual art/ past life regression / you get the drift..

Is there a family craft or hobby that you could monetize? Jupiter in LEO could signify ancestral gains.

Lilith and Pluto aspects to ascendant can make you come across really sexy / a bit unapproachable because people feel like you have some kind of power that places you above them?

Due to this, people with Pluto / Lilith aspects can feel some kind of hurt around people clearing up the path around them if that makes sense.

Jupiter opposite moon : there could be a clash between you want to do VS what you feel you should be doing.

Jupiter in the first house : you could have been born rich? Or people just perceive you that way. They also see you as someone wordly wise and lucky in general. You could know a lot about a wide variety of things. Specially on topics related to appearance, personal development, image consciousness etc. Since the ruler of the first is in the 12th I feel like some of your wisdom comes from a divine source. Like you're tapping into some kind of a collective reservoir of knowledge. In starseed terminology we would refer to this as downloads.

Jupiter rules the 8th house and 5th house.

So love, romance, games, early education may have been a bit of a breeze for you.

Jupiter is usually a bit of a celibate spiritual person. So, while it may make you really wise with respect to things like the occult / tarot / other 8th house themes, I'm not sure how it would impact your sex life with a spouse. Sex could be either a deeply spiritual experience for you or take on more neptunian traits. Addiction / alcoholism / drug use the works. Jupiter expands the themes of the house it rules so a word of caution there.

Travelling could bring you luck. Or even love.

Did I hear Mars opposite Neptune?

This could be a literal battlefield. You could feel like you need to work for love.if Neptune is unconditional love and Mars is your drive, then you could literally match to get to taht elusive unconditional sense of belonging /love / acceptance. But what are you marching towards really? A mirage? With this aspect I'd really be on the guard against addiction of any kind. Neptune is enticing, alluring, mocking Mars for its need to conquer. It could lend a really nice swagger to your walk. A runway model could benefit from thus placement. At uts best this aspect imbues you with creativity, inspiration, otherworldly imagination and the energy required to turn your abstract ideas of art into something tangible.

Here's a source for more on this placement. Sometimes I find that the comments really help me make sense of my own placements

Toodles

Before I sign off, I just have to say this :please try to restrict asks to 2-3 placements. You can send in multiple asks if you'd like, but answering them all in one ask can get a bit cluttered and I'd hate to miss out on something 😊

Hope this helped 💕as always, I'd really appreciate your feedback on this take on how these placements affect you.

190 notes · View notes

xpeachesncream · 3 years

Text

cloud nine | teaser/intro

SERIES RELEASE DATE: 04/09/2021

⟼ perfectly wrong ⟼ restart

☁ series masterlist ☁ cloud nine playlist ☁

summary: 2 years later, your marriage to taehyung brings people back from your past, new hardships with your bestfriends and tiny roommates who get away with everything just by being cute?

pairing: reader x husband!kth

genre: marriage au | fluff, angst, smut

words: 1.8k

warnings: cussing, mature language/implied sexual content, entire teaser/intro is a flashback.

⟲ FLASHBACK

"Wake up." You say softly, shaking Taehyung next to you in bed. "Waaake up, Tae." You whine. After a couple of more shakes, Taehyung slowly opens his eyes to your pout. He chuckles as he rubs his eyes and stretches a bit.

"What's wrong, love?"

"Why aren't you waking up more excited?! Today's the day!" He laughs and wraps his arms around you, gently laying his head on your tummy. He presses a kiss on your growing belly before rubbing the surface with his soft, warm hands, making you smile.

"Babygirl, you cant expect me to get my life together in the 5 seconds you took to wake me up."

"Well, have you gotten your life together yet?" You ask, slightly impatient as you twirl a strand of his hair around your finger and tug lightly.

"5 more minutes." He says, pretending to snore on top of your belly. He lets out a small snort when he hears you continuing to whine at him. "God, you win everything. I'm up." He plants one more kiss on your stomach before he sits up to plant a kiss on your lips.

"Finally." You scrunch your nose as you look into his deep, chocolate eyes.

“Goodmorning, beautiful.” He says to you before looking down at your stomach. "And good morning, munchkin. Can't wait to find out if you're gonna be a baby boy or girl."

"It's a girl, I know it." You say as you slowly get yourself out of the bed to get ready for the day. You walk into the closet to grab some clothes before heading into the bathroom to take a quick body shower and pamper yourself for a bit.

"If you say so, sweetheart." Taehyung chuckles, following you into the bathroom to get himself ready as well. He stands over the sink as he lazily brushes his teeth before fixing his bed hair as much as possible. He lets you have your peace in the shower to walk into the closet and pulls out a comfy, but presentable outfit for the day. The weather wasn't too bad for the fall season - sun was out providing warmth, but the air was still cold.

By the time he had slipped into his clothes, he walks back to the bathroom, leaning against the door frame to watch you lather yourself up and get into your outfit of choice. He chuckles a bit, a big smile plastered on his face when you catch him watching you.

"What?" You look at him confusingly.

"I don't know, you're just cute."

"What am I doing?" You ask, adjusting the shirt over your belly before fixing up your hair.

"You don't have to do anything for me to think so." He says, coming over to kiss you on the cheek, lightly brushing the hair out of your face and tucking it behind your ear. "You ready?"

"Yeah, I'm pretty hungry now." You apply a bit of lip balm to your lips before looking back up at him.

"What do you wanna eat?"

"I don't know."

"Mhm. You know what you want baby, don't lie."

"I really don't." You shrug, trying to lay out some options in your head. You arch your eyebrow as your hands rest on your belly, giving it a good rub or two. Literally, everything seemed like a good option. It was about to be lunch time and you could go for either ends of the spectrum - breakfast/brunch, straight up lunch, dinner, dessert.

"Don't think too hard now."

"I kind of want Squat and Gobble." Taehyung nods in approval, lips slightly poking out.

"Whatever you want, babygirl. I'll take you there." He says, making his way out of the bathroom. "Now chop chop, so we can get your cute ass some food." You took one last look at yourself in the mirror, fixing little things here and there before heading out to meet your husband in the living room. He helps you put on your coat before the two of you walk out to the car, Taehyung instantly turning on the heat to make sure you're comfortable. Getting to Squat and Gobble, you find yourself getting excited by the smell that surrounded the restaurant. Ooh lord, you couldn't wait to eat a good meal before heading to the doctor's. This child was begging for it, too! After getting escorted to a table, the both of you get situated to start looking through the menu.

"Damn."

"Hm?" Taehyung hums, keeping his eyes on the menu.

"I want everything." You pout.

"You and this metabolism of yours, love. Seriously."

"Me and this baby, you mean."

"Mm-mm, no. Don’t go blaming our baby. You wanted everything all the time, way before I popped this baby into you."

"Taehyung.” You shake your head. “Not true."

"Actually, 100% true." Taehyung nods. "So, let me guess. You're either gonna get the Eggs Benedict or the Nor Cal Omelette with a side of Belgian Waffles. Am I right or am I right?" You laugh and shake your head.

"You're right, and you're right."

"Which one is it gonna be?"

"I want the omelette." You say excitedly. He simply smiles at you, catching himself feeling butterflies in his stomach. God, you were everything to him. So fucking beautiful, and so irresistible.

"What?" You ask, confused as to why Tae was staring at you again. "Why are you staring at me like that again?" You slightly chuckle as you watch him bite onto his bottom lip before looking back down and shaking his head.

"Nothing."

"Say it."

"I just love you."

"I love you too." You blush.

"So, has my lady thought of any baby names?"

"Not really, have you?"

"A bit." He chuckles. "If it was a boy, I was thinking Masao. Or, Grey. Iseul. They all roll off my tongue pretty nicely." He says, looking out into space.

"Those are cute. What about girl names?"

"Oh, a whole list." He sips his water. "Miyako. Anya. Seiko. Nabi. Yumi. I honestly could go on."

"Have you been doing your research or something? These are better names than what I would've came up with." You laugh.

"What, I can't have any creative juices flowing through my veins too?"

"Mhm, sure. I'm gonna check your history tab later on the laptop."

"Shit." He playfully whispers. "No but really, baby. Don't they all sound nice?"

"Yes, they do." You smile. "I'm impressed, Kim Taehyung."

"I know, I make you proud." He smirks.

"I only thought of like, two names this entire time."

"That's it?" He snickers.

"Well, clearly you got the whole list ready so I no longer have to worry." You playfully shrug.

"You don't. Let Daddy take care of it." He wiggles his eyebrows, making you laugh. He's for sure not gonna let this one go, not for a long, long time. At this point, your plates are placed in front of you two, the table mostly silent as you both dig in and devour your food. Taehyung only chimes in every now and then about Jimin or Namjoon, or his mom and dad. When you both finish your meal, Tae sits back and lets out a hefty breath while he stretches.

"Full?" You ask, sipping on the last of your water.

"Yup. You ready to go soon, love? Your appointment is coming up real quick." He says checking his watch. You simply nod as Taehyung pays for the food before the two of you head out. In the car, you had been feeling the butterflies attacking all at once. You looked down at your belly, smiling to yourself as you rubbed the surface. You were so excited to hear the news from the doctor being that you and Taehyung had been waiting for this moment for a long time.

Everything seemed so surreal.

Your career as a new illustrator was going strong. 2Peace was still going strong. Your husband's career on the executive team was at its highest. Your friends were all thriving. This baby.

Everything just seemed to be falling into place. And you were hoping it could be like this for a long time. You were hoping it could stay like this.

After checking in at the doctor's office, you sit next to Taehyung, who is now reading an art magazine. You take a deep breath, causing Tae to grab your hand and press a gentle kiss on top of it. He continues to rub your hand with his thumb as he returns his attention on the magazine sitting on his lap and flips through it with his free hand. You were on time for your appointment, and you were really hoping you didn't have to wait for long simply because you had become way too excited.

"You okay?" Tae asks, noticing your leg continuously bouncing up and down.

"Yeah, I just wanna go in already." He chuckles.

"Patience, baby. He'll get to you, alright?" Your bottom lip pokes out in a pout, making Taehyung lean forward to give you a kiss. "You do that on purpose, don't you?"

"Do what on purpose?"

"Pout so I could kiss you."

"No, babe. I'm just expressing my feelings."

"Mhhhhm." He smirks.

"Besides, I never had to force you to give me kisses." You smile confidently.

"Alright, okay. I rest my case, your honor." He clicks his teeth. "See, you win that too."

"Mrs. Kim?" The medical assistant came to the door, causing you and Taehyung to stand - the both of you trying your best to contain your excitement. She takes you to the back to check your vitals and run through the usual routine before leaving you and Taehyung to your peace until the doctor comes knocking. As you get yourself situated on the bed, Taehyung decides to take a picture of you, his beloved wife, and your baby bump. He had been really good about capturing these moments, and you were grateful for it. He gives off a small giggle when he checks the picture, letting you know he's about to send it his mom and dad and all your friends.

Caption:

Can't wait to find out if we have ourselves a baby Tete or baby Y/N.

Sooner or later, the doctor comes in, making small talk with you and Taehyung. He gets the monitor ready, warning you about the cold gel that's about to make contact with your belly. Taehyung tries to take a peek at the monitor, but with the doctor being in the way, he couldn't catch a glimpse of anything. Neither can you, being that you're laying back and can barely see over your hump.

"Everything looks absolutely perfect, and that's all I can ask for. Now, tell me - would you like to know what the sex is?" The doctor smiles from ear to ear as he turns towards you and Tae.

"Yes sir, please. Enlighten us." Taehyung says, standing next to you as you lay silently on the bed, gripping your hand tightly . The doctor checks the monitor once more before chuckling and turning back towards you. "Congratulations! You have yourselves some baby girls!" You put your hand over your mouth as you gasp.

"Wait, wait - did you just say baby girls?" Taehyung's eyes light up as the doctor nods happily.

"Sure did." He points to the monitor. "You got yourself some twin girls right there.”

185 notes · View notes

hobipaint · 3 years

Text

Graffiti and Chalk - one.

summary: You thought you knew him. You thought him gone. Kim Taehyung was part of you that you had carefully suppressed, keeping his memories to one box near the wall of your mind. That was your fault, though - empty walls demand for art. And who other than your own neighbourhood vandal?

↳ pairing: ex police student turned vandal! taehyung x officer! female reader

↳ genres: angst, eventual fluff?

↳ word count: 4.7K

↳ disclaimers: pg15!, vandalism, police officers, criminal past and heavy discussion of it, mentions of attempted murder.

one | two

a/n: this was supposed to be a one shot, but i decided to make it a two shot because inspiration struck at the twelfth hour. This is based on stigma tae, and has massive massive references to hyyh tae as well!! I'm warning you all. Written for the @bangtanwritingbingo prompt: chalk drawings. Beta read by @vaekth and @kookiestarlight who are possibly the most supportive and appreciative people I could have asked for, thank you so much!!

You'd thought that being an officer would mean solving cases for people who genuinely needed help. Not hunting around for a missing pumpkin.

"It's round, large, and I think it was slightly squishy, Y/N," the kid who had run up to you exclaimed again, while making gestures for round, large and squishy.

If the kid weren't this adorable, you'd squish him for being too loud at 8 in the morning.

You unlocked the door to your office, taking in the sight of the homey little cubicle that you maintained alone. Being the sole officer in a neighbourhood should be hard work, but in a neighbourhood where practically everybody is asleep? Not as much.

You sighed as you pulled the kid in - who by now had told you that his name was Sungwoo, and he was eight years old. His mother told him that if he ever lost anything precious he should head to the police, so here he was.

"Can you find my pumpkin?" He peered up at you as you tried to get the coffee machine started- well, as well as you can with a kid in the way. "It's round, large and squishy."

"Round, large, squishy. Got it." You smiled wearily at him, seeing how his eyes lit up at the sight of your notebook- the one he obviously thought you wrote your cases in. You took your espresso in a mug, running over to him before he damaged it. He ran over to it, picking it up, dropping it because of its weight and picking it up again.

"Can you write a message for Peter here?" He asked you, eyes wide and round as he stared at the brown leather bound book.

"Peter? I thought we were talking about your pumpkin?"

He nodded vigorously- strong enough to make you worry if his head would fall over. Flopping his hair to the side messily, he scampered to you as you settled in your chair, opening the last page of your book - where you had kept your post-its. "Peter is pumpkin! It's made of something- mom told me-" he put a hand to his head, trying to force his small head to think of big words, "Is it pushy?"

"Do you mean it is a plushie, Sungwoo?" You said, sighing and writing it down on a post-it note and sticking it on your desk.

"Yeah!" His eyes sparkled, and he bent his head down to the paper you gave him to scribble a hasty note for Peter. Once satisfied, he raised his head, giving the chit two pats before turning to you. "It's missing, Y/N. Can you find it?"

"Of course I can," you reassured him the best you could while half-asleep. The boy suddenly pulled you into a hug, happy tears spilling out of his eyes as he murmured thank you's over and over.

You held him for a few more seconds, understanding the worry that the kid would have over his plushie. You didn't understand why he had to bring it to you, though.

You felt a soft yet insistent buzz in your pant pockets all of a sudden, realizing it was your phone. You pulled yourself away from the crying child, and caressed his head while picking up the call.

"Good morning, Officer L/N." The coarse voice of your chief barked at you.

You sighed, not wanting to deal with any of his tantrums right after you dealt with the case of Peter the Pumpkin. "Good morning, Chief."

"I'm arriving at your office in about ten minutes. We have to discuss something important."

You sighed again, hand grabbing Sungwoo's as you led him outside the office. Time to clean up. "Of course, Sir."

"Why is this place so messy?" was the first thing you had to hear in the form of a greeting. When your chief said ten minutes, he clearly meant half an hour.

You'd spent some time clearing up cookie crumbs from your table, dusting any evidence of your multiple ramen packets, arranging the tables in proper order, lining the chairs up, and stuffing all the stuff you couldn't clear into a closet. It seemed clean enough to you.

"I shall clean it, Sir." You bowed your head once, carefully maintaining your expression so that the chief doesn't think of you as any more insolent than he already does.

"It doesn't reflect well upon the force to have a messy office, Y/N. I'm sure you were taught that," he said, pressing his finger to a certain spot on a table, and raising it up to show you. "Dust in our offices speaks of nonchalance. That is the last thing we'd want anyone to think of us is that we're nonchalant."

"I apologise, sir. I shall rectify it."

"I expect you to. Anyways," he said, dusting his hands and moving to another corner of the office, "that is not what I came here for." He settled into the chair- your chair, with the note for Peter the Pumpkin intact.

You prayed for him to ignore it.

"There's been growing signs of vandalism in the neighbourhood you're patrolling, Y/N," The chief said to you in a gruff tone, looking like an angry cat with his whiskers trembling. He wore a scowl to match the whole look. Luckily, his pondering eyes missed out on the missing pumpkin report. "I want you to catch that person. Why isn't it done yet?"

"They were untraceable, Sir. All we could capture was a navy blue hoodie and jeans. Nothing else. There's only graffiti and chalk all over the places he's been at, Sir. I tried looking for clues-"

"Keep looking, then."

"I'm trying, sir. I have asked the owners of all the shops on the street to hand over any CCTV footage they have of the person so that I can analyze it and try to nab him. It is a futile task till now, though."

The chief rubbed his hand hard on his thigh, the sound of his palm scratching against the coarse trouser fabric reaching you. "They are being a menace, Y/N. A nuisance to those who want peace in this neighbourhood. You are supposed to bring that peace for them, not complain about not being able to get that person. That is your job." He looked you directly in the eye, anger clearly visible. "Or would you wish to leave?"

You twitched in anger, forcing yourself to remain calm. The chief had a penchant for transferring those who were unsuccessful in their cases to different stations- the more transfers, the more incompetent you seemed. You had already begun at a relatively low level, and you couldn't afford going lower. You nodded stiffly.

"Any more complaints, and I'd be forced to transfer you somewhere else and hand this case over to someone competent. And you know it wouldn't be safe for your career, Y/N." He rose up from the chair, heading towards the door. "I want it resolved. Soon."

You bowed your head, in a sense of respect for your senior you'd actually never felt. It was annoying, honestly, and your hatred for this man just grew more and more. You had requested since the day of your graduation from the academy to be put in the forensics department - something that actually was your specialty. But no, here you were, patrolling a neighbourhood where the only problem was a kid scribbling on walls and leaving an alphabet behind.

Taehyung kicked a pebble aside, letting it roll aimlessly along the half-paved, half-broken road. "I'm out of green paint, again."

He glanced at the aluminium shutters he had decided to vandalize- no, beautify- today, deciding that the subtle decor of the florist's shop and the grim outside of the tattoo shop - both needed redecorations. He didn't care who was the owner. He didn't care how many reports they filed about the eerie similarities of the vandal to Mrs. Kim's son - they never cared about him before, so they'd never care about him now. That, he was sure of.

His red paint had been used to make the outer petals of a rose that he had dedicatedly been drawing the previous day, until the owner had yelled from his house above for him to stop. That was early, though. 11 AM was a predictable time for a vandal to walk through the streets, spraying graffiti and dusting chalk over every nook and corner until he was satisfied by the art he had created.

His wristwatch ticked three as he picked up his blue paint can. Just a few hours later, but effective enough for the owner to have fallen asleep - Taehyung could definitely justify that by the snores that echoed behind the shutters.

"Reporting. Reporting. Vandal. Street 13. I repeat. Vandal. Street 13."

The cuckoo clock that your mom had gifted you to decorate the less than neat office struck three just when the report came through. Just when you were about to settle for the night.

You pushed your papers aside, leaving the missing car complaint on your table. Holding your baton, slipping your ID into the pocket of your jeans and dusting crumbs off your chiffon blouse, you picked up the radio.

"Street 13. Officer Y/N reporting."

The gruff voice of your chief growled back at you. "The vandal has been found on camera, finally. The florist's CCTV; he sent a complaint. In fact, he's been wandering the streets for half an hour now, Y/N. Where have you been?"

You were about to form a legible enough response, say that the paperwork he had set for you was what consumed your time, but he beat you to it. Sighing into the phone, he said, "Nevermind that. Get to his location immediately, and capture him." His voice stumbled for a second. "Take the taser, just in case."

"Yes sir," you responded meekly, and disconnected the radio.

You looked around for your keys, going past a board full of cases that were never relevant enough to be solved - especially the one of the missing pumpkin. The types of cases you received here made you shudder, this wasn't why you had spent so much time training at the university. You tucked your radio into your jacket as you pushed it on your shoulders, grabbing onto a half-eaten sandwich to satisfy your hunger along the way.

"I have to get that person before he robs me of a chance at the forensics department forever," you thought while speeding towards the location told to you - while maintaining the speed limit, of course. No space for nonchalance.

You'd wanted to finish all your paperwork today and get back to an analysis you were working on - preferably get a nap too. Capturing a neighbourhood graffiti artist- this isn't what you had wanted to do.

This wasn't what Taehyung had wanted to do.

The paint dried off slowly on the metal surface, a small drop of ink trickling down where Taehyung had stopped. The design wasn't matching what he had thought at all, he thought as he stared at it. Time to switch it up.

He picked up the painting from right where he had stopped it - merging blue into the red petals as he was on his way to the centre of the flower. Painstakingly, he traced lines that would capture the delicate curves of the outlines, serving to further merge into the picture.

His vandalism wasn't ugly drawings, nudity, or someone just spraying 'SUCKAZ!' all over a wall. That is for amateurs. His was nuanced art. Art that he couldn't do in the day. The ones he could never showcase in the galleries. The ones he buried in the deepest recesses of his mind, burning a hole into the boxes he stuffed them into. This was his freedom.

Taehyung picked up the black can. Fixing the nozzle in the proper direction, he shook the bottle- once, twice. The paint came out in spurts at first, before settling into a steady spray. Black always enhances everything, doesn't it? Enhancement that never seemed beautiful - it was just there to make it stand out. Be noticed. Be shamed. Be suspected. Look deadly, or even look dead. Even the most innocent faces look devious with black. What's to say his flower would still look alive?

The black slowly spiralled across the expanse of the shutter, coiling over and over in what Taehyung thought could be the leaves. The thorns that held the flower back from reaching the epitome of beauty- at least, outwardly beauty. He detested how overhyped a rose was- just as destructible as all other flowers. Where's the beauty in something temporary?

The green paint can had been used up last time when he had sprayed ivy all over the fashion boutique's doors- all of which had been washed away. A shame, Taehyung thought, and picked up his airbrush. Filling a little green into the small holder, he tested it a few times on the footpath - he'd scrub chalk all over it later on, he still needed to add more to beautify the shops. He carefully painted leaves all over the black he had sprayed, letting them flatten out against the metal at the back and form a protective layer around the rose. Unnecessary by all means.

He then switched to a darker green, picking up the airbrush once again to add some subtlety in the leaves. He watched the spray slowly settle right where he wanted it - paint, unlike his life, was something he had full control of. It was liberating.

Standing back and twirling the can over and over in his hand, Taehyung was somewhat satisfied with what he made. A rose. Simple, overrated. Just like flowers. The leaves stood out more to him, along with the thorns; their prickly points being the focus of the picture. Perfect.

He picked up his personal favorite - a small can of black paint who's nozzle had been crafted by him. Stooping down to the corner of the shutter, he slowly sprayed across it. Black settling on silver gray, one single alphabet. V.

That's it. He was done. Just an hour's work.

He turned to the tattoo artist's shop, the shutter a colourful mess littered with messy black stains and drawings the owner probably thought was hip. Taehyung cringed. How was it possible for an artist to be that bad at decorating their own shop? He walked a few steps back, admiring the size of it and thinking of what he could fill there. Something that would really annoy a tattoo artist- he deserved it after having ruined the shutter like that. Picking up a blade, Taehyung set to scrape away the skulls- which, he found, were stickers. Gross. Peeling them off, he set to chip away at the paint- the soft thunk, thunk of the blade slapping against the metal echoed around him. Hopefully, not too loud.

The metal loudly protested as Taehyung pressed his blade against what seemed to be an outline of a body, done with black, and some random inscriptions that he could notice were wearing away. This had to be really old.

Scratch, scratch, scratch. The blade kept pushing at the layers of colour, forcing them off the metal. He could see glints of silver shining underneath it, dim under the streetlight.

Scratch, scratch, scratch. He kept pushing at the paint, tongue poking out as his eyebrows furrowed in concentration. He had to do it now. There was no other time for him to do this. Now. Now. Now.

The silver suddenly glinted more brightly- a shade impossible under the dull, flickering yellow of the streetlights. White lights created a halo of sorts around him, and Taehyung knew his time was up. He smiled. At least one place got the beauty they deserved.

"Hands up!" A voice yelled behind him, and he could hear a click that definitely sounded like a taser gun.

Looking up, he cursed loudly at everyone and anyone. He could have finished it tonight. His work would have been done, and he would have been on his way. He turned around, annoyance sparking in his eyes with sarcastic acceptance lining his lips in the way they curled. "You found me," he murmured, before letting himself get slammed against the very shutters he was painting.

Fate played wonderful games, and for now, you were its newest loser.

"Name." You spoke, your voice monotone yet clear.

"You know me, Y/N. Don't pretend you don't." Taehyung crooned, smirking while he rotated the glass that rested atop the table.

Your annoyance only grew. When you were told that there was a vandal in the streets, you didn't expect it to be a familiar face.

Kim Taehyung was known to you. Someone who had lived right next door. Someone who had been known as a lovable, obedient boy by the neighbours- you still remembered how your mother would gush about him. Someone you knew, and once, cared for.

Someone who was later only known as the kid who flung a bottle on his stepfather's face and was sentenced for five years - which, in fact, was a misjudgement. He was innocent, and the video of him attacking the man was manipulated. Fake. Edited. Whatever you chose wouldn't be enough to change anything in the past.

Taehyung had come out of jail a changed man, weeping openly in the streets when he heard of his family's fate- what he had heard, though, was something you were unaware of. Two years had since passed, and you no longer heard your mother talking about the Kim's boy. He had simply vanished, for you. No traces anywhere.

But here he was. Kim Taehyung. Alive, breathing. Smirking. And spinning a glass over and over.

"Give that to me." You said, snatching the glass away from him and keeping it aside. Settling into your chair, you pulled your laptop closer once again, mustering the most serious look you can. "I'm not playing around, Taehyung. Talk properly. Behave. You're already in a rough spot."

Taehyung laughed; a mirthless, almost painful laughter. "I can't see how anything can be bad here, officer. With all due respect, of course." He straightened up, still keeping that smirk on his face.

You exhaled your breath slowly, holding back all the words you wanted to hurl at him. "Name?"

"Kim Taehyung."

You typed it in, feeling the way each letter pad was pushed down before you moved over it- momentary, but fulfilling. "Age."

"As of today, 25."

"Job."

"Nothing. Add the official vandal of Street 13 if you want."

You raised an eyebrow, fingers abruptly coming to a stop. "Behave."

"No job, officer." Taehyung said, settling further ahead in his seat and pausing, before speaking again. "Why do you need this though? I already have a criminal record, don't I?"

You turned your face to him, the sudden change in light exposure hurting your eyes. The hurt they felt couldn't possibly fathom the depths of pain you saw churning in Taehyung's eyes, like pits of fire. They were seemingly blank, but you had known him. Known him long enough to know that this wasn't who he used to be. This wasn't him.

"Once you were proven innocent, your record was wiped clean. The manipulators were given the charges that you had." You looked at him while saying this, trying to notice any emotions that would make way to his face. None. No twitching lips, no annoyance in his eyebrows. Just his eyes that seethed anger. "Family?"

"None."

You raised an eyebrow. "None?"

Taehyung groaned, getting up from the chair and turning around, hands on his waist. "Don't make me repeat all that shit again. You know it, Y/N."

"Sit back down, Taehyung." You said, irritated by his tantrums. It was four in the morning, for God's sake. You didn't have the energy to deal with him. "I need details if you want to get out of this without any charges."

"Dead. Most of them. Those who aren't, disowned me as soon as I got into jail. Something about not wanting to be related to a criminal." He said lowly, a gruff tone to his voice as he spoke the last words.

You hummed lowly, not knowing what to say. How do you possibly respond to something like this? You weren't trained for interrogation at university. You specialized in forensics. This wasn't supposed to be your job.

"I'm sorry that happened, Taehyung." You managed after a few moments of silence.

"Don't be." He shrugged, then looked up. "You don't mean it."

"I still need a reason as to why you are destroying the places around here with your graffiti and chalk drawings, Taehyung." You ignored him and continued, rising from your chair to let your sore limbs relax. "Unfortunately, I can't let you leave till you give me a reason."

Taehyung stayed mum, much to your annoyance.

You slammed your hand on the table, a loud slap that stung your hand, but also Taehyung's ears, it seemed. "Reasons. Now."

"I just wanted to."

"Wanted to? So you were voluntarily damaging someone else's property?"

He raised his head to look at you; once, twice. Then with a resigned sigh, he responded. "Yeah. But I was beautifying it."

"A beautification they never asked for?" You said, as Taehyung groaned behind you.

"No one gives a damn, Y/N-"

"The police do." You say, preparing to send a message to your chief over the radio. "Got him."

"The police didn't care when I was innocent in that case, Y/N. Stop pretending like they'll care for me when I'm actually guilty of something."

"That case was mishandled."

"Yeah, Y/N. It was mishandled. But only for you." You turned to him, shocked at the venom that suddenly laced his voice.

In the few seconds that you had turned away from him, his eyes had turned bloodshot. Red rimmed the remaining white of his eyes. "You wouldn't know what it is to be locked up for harming people you loved, Y/N. You wouldn't understand that pain," he murmured, loud enough for you to hear him in the echoes of the office.

You wanted to scream at him. Tell him how he had hurt you. Remind him of all the things you had forced yourself to forget over seven years. The way your heart still hurt for him.

"You're right. I won't understand. So sit here, and explain yourself." You pulled your chair back, seating yourself in it and gazing up at him expectantly.

He was just staring at you- you couldn't say whether his gaze held expectations or disdain. Then, shaking his head, "You're still just as stubborn, aren't you," he said, softly smiling as he slipped into his chair. "Adamant, and so, so confusing."

"You don't know me anymore, Taehyung. Don't pretend. Anyways," you said, turning to your laptop again. "I need-"

"No." He stood up once again- why was he standing? "Answer me, now."

He rested his arms on the table, chest leaning forward to balance himself- and now, you could see the changes he had brought in himself. In place of lean muscle there were defined biceps you could see being flexed. In place of short hair was curly locks that fell until his crown, now hanging over. In place of a cheeky grin that sent your blood rushing to your cheeks was a pair of lips, set tight in one line that sent chills down your spine. There was warmth to him, yes, but it was different. This wasn't the Taehyung you knew.

"You knew that I was back." Your eyes moved back to look into his. And you noticed more changes. Instead of a carefree twinkle, there was dark, brooding black filling his pupils. "You knew. I'd seen you that night."

The night when you had seen him falling to his knees, soaking himself in the rain as he gave his tears as a tribute to the gushing skies. The night he returned. The night you thought he didn't know you.

"I'd seen you after that as well. That day at the convenience store, I'd seen you buying candies. You still buy the same kind, don't you? Lemon flavoured."

The night you gave up on your dreams to become an analyst in the forensic lab for the police. The night where you stared up to question everything you did as your feet soaked in the snow. Two years ago. The night he thought he knew you.

"You're hurting me by not remembering us, Y/N."

"We were nothing to begin with." You cleared your throat, settling further back into your chair. "You asked me on a date, and stood me up. We're nothing. Absolutely nothing."

Taehyung opened his mouth to speak again, but leaned back, standing tall, straight. You almost missed his warmth - no. This wasn't the warmth of a person you had cared for.

"It's so cold outside, Y/N, why haven't you turned on the heater?" Your chief's voice filled the room after a few minutes of absolute silence. Taehyung had taken to leaning on the wall, now, maintaining an anxious distance. "Did you get the man?"

You simply pointed towards Taehyung, watching the chief's face flash with recognition, brows hastily furrowing as a frown formed on his face.

"Kim Taehyung?" Your chief asked, coming up to the two of you. "Is it really you? Are you the vandal?"

Taehyung remained silent, head hung.

The chief inhaled, then exhaled; loud enough for you to hear him - "It is you, isn't it. What happened after the attempted murder case?"

"Proven false, Sir." You informed your superior. For some odd reason, you felt like you had to come to Taehyung's defense.

"I am aware of that, Y/N." The chief said, looking Taehyung up and down. As reported, he was in the navy blue sweatshirt and ripped jeans- and you could see in the clear light of your office that he had ripped the holes into them himself. Something he did before to look fashionable, he used to say.

"I don't really want to put any charges on you, Taehyung. Why did you do it?"

Taehyung spoke, voice gravelly. "It was liberating, Sir."

"You broke the law, though."

"The law broke me, Sir."

The chief took another deep breath and settled onto the chair where Taehyung was sitting just a few moments ago. His wrinkled skin seemed to age even more. Taehyung was close with the chief as a student, that you knew- you had seen him going multiple times to his office to get clarifications after class. You wondered how the chief felt - did he feel the same sting of recognition you had felt?

"I don't want you to get any charges, Taehyung," he said, before laughing and adding, "all these years, and I still have my student in my head."

He stood up and turned to face Taehyung again, worry reflecting in his eyes as he held him by the shoulders. "You're still the Taehyung I know, right?"

Taehyung looked away, down, his face coming in your line of vision - you could see the small rivulets that flowed from the pool of emotions in his eye, down the lines that worry, anger and disbelief had formed on his face. Sniffing softly, he turned back to the chief. "Yes, Sir."

The chief visibly relaxed, his arms coming down to his sleeves, gripping Taehyung. "Good. I hope it remains that way."

He returned to his stern stance, and faced you. "I suggest you keep him here for the night, Y/N." he looked outside, the sky just turning sapphire. "I shall return in the morning to talk. Get some rest while you're at it. And Taehyung? Eat something."

The chief swiftly departed the office, and Taehyung slumped into the chair. "Seven years, and the old man still remembers me," he laughed mirthlessly, lips twisting in an amused smile. "Always appreciated him."

"And so did he," you mentioned. Taehyung was always brought up as a comparison for your batch of officers to emulate. Even when he was in jail, he was remembered among you as a diligent student and worker. "'Remember his good', he used to say. He always remembered you."

"And you?" He suddenly looked at you. His eyes were no longer bloodshot - there were small remnants of anger, but all you could see was wistfulness. "Did you remember me, Y/N?"

a/n: yup, I stopped there. Do leave some feedback if you liked it- in the comments, or as an ask! Also, if you wish to be tagged for the next part, you can ask for that too! Thank you for giving your time to this fic,, and I hope you enjoyed reading it! love, hazel💞

masterlist

116 notes · View notes

jeonsjiddies · 4 years

Text

apodyopsis (m) | jjk

summary- apodyopsis (n.) ; the act of mentally undressing someone

alternatively, Jungkook is a nude model in your art class

rating- explicit / 18+ word count- 12k pairing- jungkook x reader genre- smut Warnings- daddy kink, slight degrading?, mild health concerns, very light bdsm?, masturbation, oral (female and male receiving), rough sex, kind of dom!jungkook, a little name calling?, unprotected sex (wrap it before you tap it bb)

a/n: our lovechild is born! We worked so hard on this, we hope you love it as much as we do. Currently thanking my lucky stars that @blkjmn agreed to collab with me, and that she saved my life with that glorious sex scene because I can’t seem to stop writing mushy fluffy smut. I love you so much thank you for being by my side and co-writing this with me. <3

“There’s one last thing we need to discuss before you are signed, Mr. Jeon. Do we need to backtrack for a moment to review, or shall we continue on?” The business contractor asked, using his thumb and index finger to push his glasses up further onto his nose bridge.

Jungkook wasn’t registering a single word that left the man’s mouth. His eyes were glued to the fine print on the page that described the job he’d be keeping for likely most of his (young adult) life, or at least until he was able to successfully rid himself of the guilt that's been resting on his broad shoulders for the last ten years.

He would never be able to forget the way his mother’s face fell every time he was discharged from the hospital. Not only did she have no answers and a still sick child to take home, but she also had a weighty hospital bill to add to the others that she received about once a month. She worked her ass off to take care of him as best she could, even with the gigantic debt she kept under her belt for the entirety of his childhood.

All of this was hidden from Jungkook until he was told he had celiac disease at the age of ten. His symptoms had gotten worse the longer his condition remained unnoticed, even though he would complain to his mother of constant pain everyday, tearful eyes locking with hers as if begging for her to give him any sort of relief.

“Mommy, my stomach hurts!”

“I’m not hungry! It makes it worse to eat!”

“Can you please make it stop, mama?”

He cringes every time he thinks about what he must’ve put his mother through as a child, and how she always managed to push a smile even though she was fighting to make ends meet.

Even after all of that, he was hesitating on signing this contract because he was too shy? Bullshit. He’d be selfish if he were to deny this opportunity because of his underlying fear of being seen naked in front of a large audience of people.

He knew he had no real reason to be afraid, though. After constant teasing in school for being extremely thin due to his illness, he built up the courage to get himself a gym membership when his condition became less overbearing.

He ate more often, built up more muscle, and managed to become more confident in himself and his abilities.

So, what did he have to be nervous for?

Jungkook no longer had any issues with stripping himself down. His body was sculpted perfectly, and he had a massive dick to accompany the figure he had worked for so many years towards.

Sure, everything was all set for him, but not for his mom. Jungkook knew that she barely managed to make her rent last month.

He needed to sign this contract.

“Mr. Jeon?” Jungkok’s glossy eyes were blown wide. He hadn’t moved an inch in the past minute.

“Mr. Jeon…” The man rolled his eyes, obviously knowing that it would take a bit more than calling the young man’s name to get him out of whatever trance he’d put himself in. He slammed his fist down onto the table, and Jungkook’s eyes crossed for a moment before he jolted to his senses.

He cleared his throat, and immediately began sputtering apologies.

“I-I’m so sorry. I’m not quite sure what came over me, I-” The contractor held his hand up, effectively silencing the boy as he picked up the pen that sat to the right of him while offering it to Jungkook with a raised brow.

“If this is something that you are not going to take seriously, then you may escort yourself out of my office. If you’d like to begin your career in this field, then take this pen and sign this contract.” Jungkook didn’t hesitate in grabbing the pen from the man, immediately apologizing for the way he snatched it out of his grasp.

He gnawed on his bottom lip, eyes scanning over the words on the thin paper as if he hadn’t been in this chair reviewing them for the past three hours.

This job paid well, and he had nothing to risk.

Except for the probable denial of any office job he’d try to apply to.

Why would he want an office job anyway?

Probably because--

“Any day now, Mr. Jeon.” He cast an annoyed glance toward the man. Couldn’t he see that he was contemplating on signing the damn thing?

He sighed, stretched his neck from side to side, and lifted the pen to the paper with a shaking hand.

The moment he finished signing, the crumpled sheet was ripped from under his fingertips, and tucked away into the desk of who Jungkook really hoped wouldn’t be his boss.

“It’s nice to have you along, kid.” Jungkook smiled nervously.

“You’ve got a great look, but of course, nude modeling is about what’s under the clothes.” His face instantly began to pale as he gripped the armrests of the chair he sat in.

Was this old dude asking to see him naked? Right now?

“You can step inside of the bathroom behind me to change. There should be a robe hanging on the door. Put it on, meet me outside, and we’ll take a few pictures for your portfolio.”

Jungkook sat still in the chair, staring at the man across from him with those adorable eyes widened in slight panic.

He was trying to pull himself up so he wouldn’t look like a fumbling idiot, but he couldn’t move a limb.

There was no turning back now, and he was fully aware of that.

“Am I… am I supposed to be naked for the f-first photo shoot?” Jungkook asked, his voice weak.

The contractor raised an eyebrow. It was normal for newcomers to be nervous, but he couldn’t understand why it was so difficult for him to follow directions.

In due time, he supposed.

“No, Jungkook.” The contractor sighed, pressing his thumb and middle finger against his temples in distress. Jungkook noted that this was the first time the man had addressed him formally as well, so it was probably in his best interest to go get changed if he didn’t want to get fired before he officially started the job.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry.” He said, standing from the chair as he looked over the contractor’s shoulder to the bathroom. It seemed to be decently sized, and he could really use some time alone to get his nerves settled before he had to… well, pose naked for the camera.

Well, not naked. Not this time. That’s what the contractor said.

He looked toward the man one last time, before he began pushing himself in the direction of the bathroom. Upon approaching it, he could pick up the smell of lavender coming from the candles that were lit inside.

He opened the door, and immediately turned around to close and lock it.

He checked to make sure the door was locked before he pulled his shirt over his head and carefully pulled each of his shoes off.

He checked once more as he unbuckled his pants.

He checked one final time as he threw his belt to the floor.

Jungkook slid his thumbs in between his hips and the fabric of the jeans as he tugged them down toward the ground. He had no issue with this as of yet, seeing as he was still in his boxers.

He pressed his body up against the wall, giving himself something to lean up against as he took his jeans off and threw them toward the pile of his clothes he created on the floor.

The boxers were all that were left.

“Come on, man.” He whispered to himself, glaring at his reflection in the mirror as he began to get annoyed at his own anxiousness.

It was just a couple of pictures, and he’d be covered by a robe. He was acting like a wreck for no reason.

He closed his eyes and yanked the boxers down in one swift motion, knowing that if he hesitated, he probably would’ve just left them on.

Jungkook shivered as the cold air went straight to his dick, and he almost knocked one of the candles over and sent the bathroom up into flames as he lunged for the robe that was near the door.

It was soft and fluffy, and it also carried the faint scent of the lavender that engulfed his senses. It was warm as well, like a heated towel.

Maybe this wasn’t so bad, then.

He noticed that there were a pair of flimsy sandals sitting near the door as he prepared to leave. He was never told to put them on, or to mess with them at all, but he’d rather not walk around with his bare feet, so he slid them on anyway.

He checked his reflection once more, adjusting the robe a bit so it hung loosely around his waist, and so more of his chest could be exposed.

Sure, he was nervous, but that didn’t mean that he wasn’t going to put on a good show.

He ran his hands down his sides, purposely brushing them over his cock as he considered giving it a few quick pumps before he made his way outside.

That’d be sure to leave a great first impression, which was what he was going for, but it’d be obvious that he was touching himself because his face would blush bright red.

He reached down to grab his clothes, folding them somewhat neatly. He grabbed his shoes and sat them on top of the stack of clothes he’d made.

Worry began to bubble in his stomach once he stepped out of the bathroom to find himself alone in the large office room, but he quickly remembered that he was told to meet the guy outside.

He hummed a small tune as he took quick steps toward the office door, placing his large hand upon the knob and opening it slowly, just in case his boss (Jungkook decided to assume that’s who this man was going to become. It’s better to wish for the worst anyway, right?) was right in front of the door.

Once he didn’t feel any force being pressed against the door, he opened it carefully and shimmied his way out of the office. He pressed his back against it to close it, and this small action caught the attention of his boss, who was sitting on a small bench a few feet away from the office.

“Great! You’re all changed.” The man smiled gently at him, clapping his hands together as he stood up and quickly approached Jungkook.

Jungkook stumbled back a few steps, confused by this sudden change of behavior. Was it because he was finally complying, or was it because he was about to be used for profit?

Either way, he didn’t mind. It’d be a hell of a lot easier to work in a less stressful environment, so he’d take what he could get.

“Uh, yeah… I wasn’t sure of where to put my clothes,” Jungkook began, holding up his clothes as he spoke, “so I decided to—“

“Ah, thank you for the reminder!” The man spoke, retreating back toward the bench he sat on to fetch an unmarked black bookbag from behind it.

He handed it to Jungkook, who took it thankfully and with a small smile.

“When do I return this to you?” Jungkook asked, not bothering to look toward his boss as he spoke as he was busy stuffing his belongings into the bag.

“It’s yours to keep, son.” Jungkook closed the bag and stood up, tossing it lazily over one of his shoulders as he raised his eyebrows in surprise.

“Oh, thank you so much.” He smiled sincerely. He was especially thankful that it was unmarked, because if he were to wear the bag out in public, he’d hate for someone to actually read the company name and google it, only to find pictures of him covered with only a robe on the home page.

He shivered at the thought.

“The studio is actually on this floor, so we haven’t got far of a walk at all.” His boss began to walk, and Jungkook followed a few feet behind him as he began to survey his surroundings at each turn they took.

“Now, there will be a handful of people in this room with you. Other models, photographers, of course, lighting specialists, stylists, and a few possible employers.” Jungkook hummed as the man spoke, ignoring every word that was coming out of his mouth as his heart began to thud loudly in his chest.

He didn’t need this explanation, anyway. The average person knows a little something about how a photo shoot works.

Even though he was a considerable distance away from his boss, he was almost sure that he could hear the thudding in his chest.

“Every single one of the people waiting in this room are going to do their best to make you look good, so there’s no need to worry. Relax, and you focus on making the company look good.” He laughed throatily, and Jungkook laughed stiffly from behind him.

‘Make the company look good my ass,’ Jungkook thought.

He rolled his eyes, almost crashing directly into the short man in front of him as they abruptly stopped at a door tucked away into the corner of the hallway they were on.

“This is it. Do you have anything else to ask of me?” Jungkook hurriedly said no, his nerves being replaced by the excitement to show himself off a bit.

“Alright.” The man nodded once before he opened the door, and once again, Jungkook was slapped in the dick with a blast of cold air.

He raised his eyebrows in interest as he surveyed the few models that were scattered about the different sets that were spread apart in the room. One set was sexy and seductive, dripping in elements of crimson and black, another was a bit more fun, which used orange and yellow to contrast against the white, and Jungkook couldn’t even conjure up the words to describe the other sets.

He continued to watch the models pose as if this was natural for them, flinching every now and then at the bright light that would flash every time a picture was taken.

He also noted that all of the models were nude.

They seemed to be masters of their talents, so maybe Jungkook got to leave the robe on because he was an amateur?

“Shit.” Jungkook cursed under his breath. Another cool draft of wind ran through the room, and he scurried to look down and pull the robe over his thighs.

Jungkook heaved a sigh of relief once he successfully covered himself, and his boss quickly strolled over to him to grab the bag off of his shoulder. Jungkook immediately looked over to ask him what he was doing, but before he got the chance, he was being whisked away by a manicured hand.

Everything moved quickly, but this should’ve been what Jungkook was expecting. This wasn’t just about his money.

He was thrown onto a couch near the center of the room, which was white just like the walls.

As soon as his ass touched the couch cushions, there were at least four people crowding over him to add some blush to his cheeks, and add some hairspray to his hair.

He was startled, but he didn’t mind the chaotic environment. It reminded him very much of the hospital he frequented when he was younger, and the thought of him finally being able to help his mom out after so long brought a smile to his face.

After the clutter of bodies went away, Jungkook was left alone on the couch with a camera pointed directly at him.

He gulped, his mouth suddenly dry.

The man behind the camera snapped a few shots of Jungkook to test the quality of the photos, and once he was pleased with what he saw, he stared expectantly at Jungkook with a raised brow.

“Uh…” Jungkook began.

“Take your robe off.” He stated bluntly. Jungkook choked, and immediately looked to where he saw his boss last, but he was nowhere to be found.

That fucker.

“I—I thought that I—“

“You may want to be quick about it, too. Time is money, and the more pictures we take of you, the better your chances are at being promoted.” Jungkook sighed.

If there was one thing he needed, it was money.

Hell, that’s what he got the job for.

He slowly brought his hands down to the sash that was holding the robe together and undid it, tossing it next to him on the couch.

He smirked lightly when he heard a few of the women standing behind the photographer gasp, quickly scanning every one of their faces to see their shocked expressions.

Jungkook could read the women easily. They all bit their lips, winked, or waved flirtatiously as he made eye contact with them, except for one woman.

She smiled teasingly at him, although she was seemingly unimpressed with his level of confidence. She raised an eyebrow tauntingly, pretending as if she didn’t understand why everyone was reacting as if they’d never seen a penis before. Though her cool exterior radiated disinterest, Jungkook could see past her facade, her eyes gave everything away. He could see the desire in her y/e/c irises. Jungkook understood, he felt it too.

Jungkook returned the smile, oddly at ease by her presence. He absentmindedly licked his lips as he raked his eyes up and down the curves of her figure.

She wore a long sleeved shirt that hugged her frame perfectly, a tight skirt that rested a few inches above her knees, and a pair of black heels that made her legs look absolutely stunning from where Jungkook was sitting.

He was sure they’d still look delicious if he were to take a closer look, which he wouldn’t mind in the slightest.

His mind wandered, images of her naked body flashing behind his eyelids. He lost himself in his daydreams of kissing up her legs while she squirmed underneath him.

What the hell is wrong with him? He was made to be the one receiving suggestive glances, but here he was, blatantly checking out the cute girl that was just trying to make him comfortable.

The girl broke eye contact with him, and he immediately looked away as well, squirming slightly in his seat as he felt his cock harden between his legs.

He made no effort to hide it, but he did close his legs a bit to make it less obvious.

He did not just get a boner because he made eye contact with a pretty girl.

Well, on the bright side, he didn’t have to worry about getting himself hard in the bathroom.

He glanced over in the lady’s direction once more, pouting once he noticed that she was no longer paying any attention to him, instead scribbling something down on a notepad she held in her small hands.

Why did he want her attention so bad?

“Alright,” The photographer began, bringing Jungkook back down to earth, “Keep it natural. The more relaxed you feel, the better your photos will turn out.” Jungkook nodded, a bit more eager than he should’ve been to begin his first session.

“Perfect!” The photographer yelled, snapping one last photo of Jungkook before he closed the lens of his camera and began to pack up his equipment.

Most of the other models and workers filed out already, and Jungkook was overly thankful that it would be his turn to leave this room next.

Jungkook thought the shoot went very well, as it was very easy for him to… keep himself encouraged throughout, thanks to that pretty lady.

He relaxed from his position, in which he was leaned forward, his elbows propped onto his knees as he smirked cockily at the camera.

He wasn’t sure of what to do just yet, waiting for his liar of a boss to make himself shown again.

Especially considering that the man had his clothes and shoes.

Jungkook sighed and closed his eyes, pressing his back into the couch as he breathed in and out slowly. He continued like this for a few moments, until he could hear heels tapping against the floor in his direction.

He opened one of his eyes, taking a peek at who was walking toward him.

Jungkook immediately sat up upon noticing that it was the woman with the sexy legs that kept his dick hard through the entirety of his shoot.

She approached him with a friendly smile, and Jungkook returned her sincerity with a smile of his own.

“Could I take a seat?” She motioned toward the empty spot on the couch next to him. Jungkook nodded once.

“Of course.” He moved over a bit, his cock swinging against his inner thigh as he did so.

It was then that he realized that he was absolutely naked still, so he grabbed the robe that laid over the arm of the couch and threw it on, as if the woman hadn’t already seen everything he had to offer— and more.

“Thank you!” She smiled at him. ”I’m Y/N.”

“It’s a pleasure to meet you, Y/N. I’m Jungkook.” She chuckled at this. Jungkook was confused as to what she found funny, maybe his name?

He gripped the robe between his fingers, nervously running the pads of them over the soft material as he pondered over what could’ve made the tempting woman in front of him giggle so sweetly.

“Why’re you laughing?” She noticed his nerves return, a knowing smirk on her lips as she watched the way he shyly avoided eye contact with her.

“I already know who you are, Mr. Jeon.” She tossed her hair over her shoulder. It’s almost as if she knew she was enticing.

“You did some great work today, you know?” She flashed him an adorable smile again.

It was something about the way that ‘Mr. Jeon’ rolled off of her tongue that was driving Jungkook up the wall.

“Look, I know this may seem a bit forward, but you radiate great potential.” Jungkook nodded, thanking her quietly, as she pulled out that notepad that she was scribbling in when she was too busy to give him attention while he was posing sexily.

“I conduct an art class at a community center, and I’d love it if you were to drop by and model for me a bit, since you’ve gotten the swing of things fairly quickly.” She giggled, as she ripped out the page from the small book and handed it to him gently.

“Please, feel free to decline if you’re uncomfortable, but if you’d like to give it a try then give me a call.” She eyed him carefully as he picked up the paper and read over it.

“That’s my personal number, so you can call me whenever you’d like.” Something about that sentence put an image into Jungkook’s head.

“Alright, I’ll get out of your hair now.” She stood up, collecting her belongings as she did so.

“If I never run into you again, then it’s been a pleasure, Jungkook.” She proceeded to walk away, leaving him on the couch alone.

Jungkook lingered just outside the door of the art room, his stomach twisting with nerves. When he’d first been approached about modeling, he’d laughed it off. It started off with easy stuff, brand deals and commercial advertisements. How did he end up here? Posing nude in front of a group of strangers to pick apart his body for their art? This was the best paying gig he’d ever been presented with… the small advertising gigs had been a couple hundred at best but this one would put a sizable dent in his mother’s debt, easing her misfortune. Jungkook had to do this. For her.

He held his head high and strolled into the room with a confident air, any trace of his uneasiness washed away. He glanced around at the unfamiliar faces, carefully watching his every move. He smiled in a greeting, until his eyes landed on you. His face lit up at seeing your familiar face and your heart clenched at the sight. Should Jungkook have found comfort in your deceptively soft eyes? No. Did he? Absolutely. Your sharp tongue didn’t phase him too badly, not when he could see the tenderness in your eyes.

“Good morning, Mr. Jeon.” you smiled, extending your hand in an invitation.

Jungkook reached out, enveloping your small hand in his own larger one, shaking it professionally. He reveled at how soft your skin was.

“Good morning, Ms. Y/L/N.” he greeted. “Good morning, everyone.” he addressed the rest of the room. “Please call me Jungkook.”

“Alright. Jungkook here is going to be our model. Long gone are the days of fruit baskets. Here is where the fun begins.” you smirked, sending a raised eyebrow Jungkook’s way.

In spite of himself, Jungkook blushed under your suggestive gaze.

“Now, don’t forget that this is for art.” you emphasized. “The human body is a work of art and I expect you to treat it as such. Take this seriously. Okay?”

Most heads nodded automatically, a few older women rolled their eyes or stole looks from each other, mocking you. You were placing a young, muscular man in front of them without clothes. How did you expect them not to ogle?

“For this particular piece, we’re going to be exploring how to use charcoal to get those little details. Don’t forget your shading!” you chimed happily. “Ready, Jungkook?”

“I think so.” he smiled.

“Show us what you got.” you grinned, stepping back and sitting at your own easel.

Jungkook’s hands trembled a bit as he unbuttoned his shirt, trying his best to 1. Not look like a total basket case and 2. Not make it super sensual. Deft fingers worked their way down his shirt and soon the material was sliding off his body in a way he felt was unceremoniously, but judging from the mouths hanging open around the room, might’ve been a bit more enticing than he’d intended.

Jungkook’s chest was absolutely flawless, in your opinion. You were one of the few who managed to keep your tongue inside your mouth for the show, but that didn’t stop your eyes from wandering over his toned physique. Sure you’d seen him at his photography shoot, but he was wearing a robe and you were trying to be professional. Now, hidden behind your easel, you were free to really take him in.

His chiseled chest, the deep ridges of his toned abs, the smoothness of his skin, the light dusting of hair that teased its way under his jeans. He was a walking wet dream. Your mouth watered as your gaze followed the lines of his V. Jungkook popped open the button of his jeans, tugging the zipper down as well. You’d never been so entranced by a simple movement in your life. The man radiated sexual energy.

He shimmied his hips free of the denim, his every movement captivating his audience. Firm hip bones, luscious thick thighs, deliciously tanned skin were all slowly revealed as he tugged the jeans off in one fluid motion. Maybe he should be a stripper instead of a model… You shook the thought away, but it lingered. Jungkooks movements faltered for a moment, his eyes seeking yours for comfort. You smiled reassuringly at him, and that was all he needed to tug his boxers over his delicious thighs and let his glorious cock free.

“Holy shit.” you heard from somewhere behind you.

“He reminds me of a lover I once had in Prague. I’d sneak him into my hotel room and we’d make love until the sun came up. I miss being young.”

Jungkook coughed and brought his arm up to cover the flush spreading across his cheeks at the older woman’s inappropriate comment. You bit back a laugh.

“Alright Jungkook, just make yourself comfortable and we’ll start drawing you, okay?” you instructed, attempting to take his mind off of the earlier comment.

“Okay.” he nodded, settling himself on the stool you’d set out for him, resisting the urge to strike a pose he knew he wouldn’t be able to hold.

The room grew quiet save for the scratch of charcoal on canvas as the class began attempting to do justice to Jungkook’s beauty in their renditions of him. You began by tracing an outline of his body, opting not to attempt any details yet. The pink tint that rested upon the apple of your cheeks was hard to ignore, and you weren’t sure you could handle trying to get details of certain areas just yet.

You did your best to ignore the effect Jungkook’s naked body was having on your own fully clothed one. He was ethereal, beautiful, the kind of man you could lose yourself in. He had charisma, a way about him that just drew people in. Or maybe it was just you. Every time your eyes locked with his, it was like he was the only thing you could focus on. Everything else was obsolete.

Jungkook held a power over you that honestly scared you a little, and he didn’t even know he did. He didn’t understand how magnetic he was. Sure, he was sexy and he knew it. He’d obviously spent hours painstakingly sculpting his body to perfection, but it wasn’t even just his flawless physique, it wasn’t just his gorgeous, greek-god-like face. His power was inside of him, his strength, his determination, that spark in his gaze.

Jungkook was different from the rest, whether he realized it or not. He was special. Everything about him invited you in and coaxed you to give all of yourself to him. You couldn’t stop your thoughts from wondering as you lazily sketched the outline of him. How would his skin feel under your touch? Heat flooded your veins as you imagined what his touch might feel like in return. You shook these thoughts away, focusing on the task at hand and trying to see Jungkook as nothing more than art you were depicting. You were going to make certain you got every detail correct. And for that, you needed to focus.

Jungkook forced himself to look anywhere but at the people who were gawking at his naked frame. He couldn’t stop himself from watching you though. He found himself wondering what you thought of him. He wanted to see what you were doing on your canvas. He wanted you to look at him. As if reading his thoughts, you lifted your gaze and faltered when you found his already upon you. When your eyes met and he bit his lip in a nervous smile, you knew you were screwed.

The next time you saw Jungkook was a week later. Your class had nearly doubled in size as word spread of the toned man with the impressive cargo. You rolled your eyes to yourself but greeted your new arrivals with the same professional smile. You couldn’t blame them, not really. Would you have passed up the opportunity to see him naked again? Hell no. He was already undressed when you’d arrived, running late after a meeting with the program director congratulating you on your ability to gain interest in your class.

“Sorry I’m late!” you announced to the class, then to Jungkook specifically with an apologetic look.

“That’s alright dearie.” one of the older women commented, and you sent her a gracious smile.

“So! For those of you who are new, you can partner up with someone and observe or you can find your own Canvas located on the tables in the back. If you need any help please let me know, since you weren’t here for the introductory lessons.”

“Does she really think we’re here just to draw?” you heard a whisper from the back of the room.

“I know. I didn’t believe Karen when she told me an asian boy with a giant dong was modeling for her community center art class. I had to see for myself.” another voice giggled.

“If I were 15 years younger, I would climb that boy like a tree. I may be old enough to be his mother, but I could still give him a run for his money.”

“Mmm.. I wonder what he can do with those fingers. I bet he has stamina for days.”

You glanced up at Jungkook, who was actively trying to hide his discomfort, shifting a little on the stool as he attempted to stay still. You cleared your throat, loudly, sending a pointed look to the two women in the back.

“I just want to remind our newcomers that this class is about art, not objectification. Please remain respectful. If you can’t manage that, I’m sure you can manage to find the door.” you nearly hissed.

They shrugged sheepishly and grew quiet. You huffed in annoyance, glancing back at Jungkook again, who sent you an appreciative smile. You nodded, focusing on your canvas in front of you once more.

Once class was over and the others had filed out, you walked up to Jungkook as he was buttoning his jeans. He looked up from his task and greeted you with a warm smile.

“Hey, Y/N.” he grinned, apparently forgetting he still needed to put a shirt on.

You used every brain cell you had to keep yourself from staring at his chiseled chest.

“Hey Jungkook.” you smiled. “Are you okay? Did those women make you uncomfortable? I can ask them not to come back.”

“Oh it’s okay!” he assured you, placing a hand on your shoulder, “I appreciate the offer but I don’t want to be a bother. It did make me kind of uncomfortable but they stopped so it’s okay.”

“Are you sure? They said some pretty inappropriate things.” you pressed.

“I don’t mind that what they said was inappropriate,” he explained, “it’s more that they were talking about me like I wasn’t even here. Like I was some sex doll or something. I don’t mind women finding me attractive, but I do have sustenance.”

“I get it. You shouldn’t be objectified while you’re doing your job.” you told him.

“Kind of hard to remind people I have dignity when I’m standing in front of them in all my naked glory. I can see how that might be distracting.” he winked playfully.

“Ah, there’s that cocky personality.” you threw back at him with a grin.

“Seriously though. Thank you for being on my side.” he told you sincerely.

Electricity shot through your body when he leaned in and gave you a gentle hug. You took a deep breath to steady yourself but that only resulted in breathing in the scent of him, musky and woodsy, yet sweet. It reminded you of cinnamon. It was intoxicating.

You desperately ignored the ache between your thighs and wrapped your arms around him to reciprocate his affections. His body seemed to relax against yours and the embrace lasted a little longer than a hug between mostly strangers should. He pulled away but held you at arms length to watch your features for a moment.

“See, now that’s the kind of look I don’t mind from a woman. Especially one as beautiful as you.” he smirked, turning and grabbing his shirt off the stool before sauntering away and shooting you a shit eating grin as you stand frozen in place.

You shot up, waking with a fright. Your chest heaved as you struggled to catch your breath. Images flashing through your mind once more. Your subconscious thoughts led way to the hottest sex dream you’d ever experienced, and of course the star was your male model. You couldn’t stop picturing his mouth on you, his hands on you. You shook your head to clear it. Alone in your bed, you couldn’t get that cocky grin out of your mind. You tried to fight it, you really did. You tried to redirect your mind anywhere but his plump lips, his perfectly sculpted jaw, the way his warm skin felt against yours when he’d hugged you…

Shrouded in shame but overcome with desire, you let your hand dance down your stomach underneath the elastic of your pajama shorts, your fingers finding their way to your slit. You closed your eyes, imagining it was Jungkook’s fingers inside you instead. You pumped them slowly in and out of yourself.

“Ungh… fuck. Jungkook.” you whined, writhing against your fingers, trying to find that spot that drove you crazy.

You picked up the pace, letting your fingers find a delicious rhythm inside of you, wondering what it would feel like if it were Jungkook inside of you instead. His cock was so pretty. It took everything you had not to stand up and start sucking it every time you saw it.

“Jungkook.” left your lips as your whines got louder, moving your attention to circle at your clit with your juices as lubrication.

You wished you had a picture of him to look at while you pleasured yourself to the idea of him, but you let your imagination take control, replaying images from your dream, and creating new fantasies about the model with the sultry eyes. You were close, and the closer you got to the edge, the louder you became. You swore you could almost hear the faint sound of Jungkook’s labored breathing along with your own, but it must’ve been your imagination running wild.

Your orgasm crashed over you, Jungkook’s name leaving your lips repeatedly, like he was the only thought you could muster when your brain turned off and your high took over. You fucked yourself through it, soft whimpers leaving your mouth as you pulled your fingers out. You padded your way to the bathroom to wash up, climbing back into bed not nearly as satiated as you’d hoped to have been. You drifted to sleep anyway, thoughts of Jungkook and the hope of seeing him again soon on the forefront of your mind when unconsciousness took over.

Jungkook was early today, you noticed as you walked into the art room. You were the first two to have arrived, you wanted to make up for being late the previous week.

“Hey. What are you doing here so early?” you asked, setting your bag down as you made your way over to him.

“Needed to talk to you.” he responded, voice low and husky.

“Everything okay?” you asked, concern filling your chest.

“No. Everything is not okay.” he hissed, trapping you against the wall.

You shivered at the sudden change in his demeanor, at his body so close to yours, at the dominating tone of his voice.

“I’ve been horny as hell all week.” he grunted, rutting his hips into yours.

“O-oh.” was all you could muster for a response, your body immediately reacting to his movements and sending moisture to your core.

“Imagine my surprise when I got a call from you late Saturday night.” he smirked, lips ghosting over the hollow of your throat, allowing his cool breath to fan against the area. He watched your skin flush crimson and felt your heart rate pick up.

Saturday night? You hadn’t called him. Saturday night you were… oh.

“Do you have any idea how fucking sexy you sound when you’re moaning my name?” he teased, rolling his hips and pulling them back before pinning you to the wall with them once more, his erection pressed firmly against your aching heat.

“I-” you began to explain, but he cut you off.

“Fuck, the way you sound when you cum… I nearly came too. Listening to you fuck yourself for me. Tell me, what were you thinking about when your fingers sunk into that pretty little pussy? Was it my mouth?” he questioned, letting his lips graze along the shell of your ear.

“Was it my cock?” he ground his hardened member into you once more. “Maybe it was my tongue.” he mused, licking a bold stripe from the swell of your breasts to your collarbone.

A whimper was forced from your throat at his ministrations. You were hyper aware of every breath Jungkook took, feeling his body move against yours. You were also aware that at any moment, people were going to start filing through the door for class.

“Jungkook.” you breathed, a warning.

Or was it a promise?

Jungkook groaned, biting down on the side of your neck and sucking a purple bruise into the exposed flesh, then blowing cold air over the injured spot to soothe it. Your entire body shivered. Jungkook’s head turned as he heard footsteps approach the door. With a pointed look directly into your eyes, he stepped back from you and put much needed space between his body and yours, just in time for the first arrival to walk through the door.

You must’ve been a sight to behold, flushed and breathing heavily while pressed up against the wall. You hadn’t been able to make yourself move after Jungkook stepped away. He looked unbothered, but you were about to burst. You could feel your arousal slipping down your leg. You cursed yourself for wearing a skirt.

Jungkook, however, was thrilled with your outfit choice for the day. Especially since once you’d taken your seat at your easel, he had a front row view of your white lacy panties. Jungkook had already stripped naked for today’s modeling session, having put all of his effort into calming his dick down so he wasn’t hard in front of everyone. However, his efforts were moot when he noticed the dark wet patch imprinted on the ivory fabric that covered your heat.

Jungkook bit down on his lip, nearly drawing blood as his eyes latched onto your core. You shifted in your seat, attempting to press your thighs together to find some relief, an action which made Jungkook smirk to himself. Until his cock started reacting. In front of everyone. Jungkook wasn’t sure if he was more turned on or more embarrassed when he noticed your gaze unwavering on his hardening member. Your mouth hung open slightly, drool pooling at the edges. Jungkook chuckled to himself.

The other members of the class were just as astonished as you were, but Jungkook paid them no mind. All he could think about was getting inside of you. He couldn’t stop picturing the way your pupils had blown out just at his words, the way your breath hitched when he touched you. He bet you’d be so responsive when his fingers came to tease along your folds. He wondered how tight you were, if you’d be as loud as you were on the phone or even louder? Surely he could make you scream if you’d been that loud with just your own fingers?

Jungkook gave up trying to control his raging boner the moment he saw your arousal pooled at your core on display for him. Suddenly, he saw your hand sneak between your legs and tease along the ivory fabric. His gaze snapped up to your face, your eyes alight with mischief when they met his own. Your fingers pushed the damp fabric aside and began circling around your clit. Jungkook was the only one who could see from his position at the front of the room.

You were putting on a show for him, torturing him when he could do nothing about it. His eyes narrowed as he glared at you, but your face remained impassive, the epitome of feigned innocence. But like always, Jungkook saw the real you behind your heavy lidded gaze. You couldn’t hide from him, he could read you like an open book. There was nothing innocent about the way you were licking your lips, slowly dragging the swollen flesh between your teeth teasingly.

Your fingers spread your folds so Jungkook had a perfect view of your clit as you began rubbing it in slow circles. Jungkook’s eyes were glued to your bundle of nerves and the way your fingers teased at it. You gathered some of your slick to coat your fingers and lubricate them so they slid along your cunt with ease. Your digits were shiny, covered in your arousal. Jungkook nearly came when he watched in agony as you inserted two fingers into your entrance, pulling them back out and twisting them so he could watch the light reflect off your wetness. You stuck them in your mouth and sucked your juices off seductively before going back to your sketch.

Jungkook could not wait to punish your naughty behavior. He couldn’t wait to wipe that satisfied smirk off your face with an expert flick of his tongue. You had an attitude now, but once he was balls deep inside that soaking wet pussy he was sure you wouldn’t be quite so eager to tease him. You weren’t going to cum until you were crying and begging for it, he’d already made up his mind.

The minutes ticked by excruciatingly slow, each passing second felt like an eternity as Jungkook waited for class to be over. It felt like his dick twitched every time the little hand on the clock did. No matter what he did, no matter what he thought of, Jungkook could not get his erection to subside. His thoughts only led back to the lewd way you’d sucked your own arousal off your fingers.

Jungkook thought he might cry tears of joy when you finally dismissed the class with a chipper wave of your hand and a sweet smile. The second the last person walked out the door, Jungkook shut it and you heard the click of the lock echo throughout the empty room. You swallowed nervously, bending over to grab your bag, earning a hearty laugh from Jungkook.

“Oh baby girl… you really think I’m just going to let you leave after the little show you put on for me?” he purred, advancing toward you quickly until his body was flush against yours, breath tickling the space below your ear. “So naughty, teasing daddy like that.” he tsked.

His fingers trailed their way up your arm, leaving goosebumps in their wake. You shivered under his touch, though it was barely even there. His skin danced along yours, coming to rest at the curve of your breasts.

“Mmm… I think I’d like to taste these.” he grinned, suddenly yanking your tank top down so that both of your nipples were exposed to the bitter cold of the room.

A smirk played on his lips at the gasp that snuck its way past yours. His head dipped, and you thought he’d immediately take one of your nipples in his mouth, you were salivating over the thought of his warm, wet mouth on your perky buds. Instead, his pillow soft lips found yours, his tongue roaming along until you parted your lips and granted him access.

His tongue danced with yours as he brought his hips closer to grind into your aching center. You had never wanted anyone as badly as you wanted Jungkook. The man pressed against you had you brainless and ready to do anything he asked with a simple roll of his hips.

Jungkook decided he didn’t like being the only naked one, and pulled your shirt above your head. Were you shivering from the cold air or Jungkook’s predatory gaze? Hell if you knew. Jungkook’s nimble fingers had your bra unhooked in a suspiciously short amount of time but you paid that no mind. He flung it across the room and his mouth was on your breast in an instant. Slick tongue working against your erect nipple while the other was massaged by his large hand. Every movement of his tongue, every playful pinch of his forefinger and thumb against your sensitive skin was sending lightning bolts straight down to your heat.

Jungkook’s mouth left your breast with an audible “pop!” since he sucked the flesh as he pulled away, switching his efforts to the neglected side, this time mixing it up by grazing his teeth ever so softly along the most sensitive part. Soft whimpers left you and you effectively became putty in his hands... and mouth. His tongue darted out to give a final flick against your sensitive bud before his hot kisses descended south. He kissed along the expanse of your stomach, slowly working his way down, sucking and nibbling as he went to leave small bruises dotted over your skin. He flipped your skirt up, exposing the lacy white panties that had been taunting him for hours, and the dark wet patch where your arousal soaked through them. Jungkook let out a growl, ripping the ivory fabric from your body and tossing it aside, revealing your pussy to him.

“So fucking beautiful. Better than I’d imagined.” He praised.

Without warning, his tongue darted out and swiped along your folds. Your knees buckled but Jungkook’s strong arms held you up, hands on either of your hips to keep you still and pressed against the wall while he worked his tongue along your slit then against your throbbing clit.

“Shit!” You cried out, body jolting forward and hands coming to rest on his shoulders when his plump lips wrapped around the sensitive bundle and sucked harshly.

Jungkook showed no mercy, devouring your cunt like it was his death row meal, the final wish of a man with nothing to lose. He lapped at your juices as if it were the last thing he’d ever do. Your entire body was thrumming, shaking violently as your orgasm was wretched out of you with no warning.

His name fell from your lips like a prayer, or a curse, you weren’t sure. The only thing you could focus on was the blinding white euphoria his tongue had shoved you headfirst into. You would’ve collapsed if Jungkook hadn’t held you up, allowing you to slowly sink to your knees to meet his posture as your body twitched and shook at the aftermath of your mind blowing high. Your breathing ragged and your eyes wide, you watched the satisfied smile appear on his angelic face. Cocky bastard. Sexy, skilled, ridiculously beautiful cocky bastard.

“Still feeling like a tease?” Jungkook asked, swiping his tongue over his bottom lip as he raised an eyebrow at you. Your chest was rising and falling rapidly, and all of his words sounded like another language at the moment.

“What?” You asked, causing him to laugh a bit at your clearly fucked out state of mind. Although the both of you were stripped down to almost nothing (save your skirt) and on your knees in the ground, it was clear who held the power between the two of you.

“You wanna taste yourself on my tongue?” He offered, already beginning to lean forward as he reached his arm out to pull your body closer to his, but you shook your head, an idea playing in the back of your head as you quickly conjured up a plan that’d have him weak and panting instead.

“I’d rather taste you on my own. Stand up.” You ordered.

He raised an eyebrow, surprised by your cute attempt at telling him what to do as if he hadn’t successfully put you in your place a minute or two ago. He stood nonetheless, vaguely interested in whatever you had up your sleeve. His goal was to make you suffer, but he supposed you could have a bit of fun before he fucked you brainless over that desk that sat a few feet away from the two of you.

You shifted yourself around a bit, as did he, so he now had his back pressed against the wall. You sat submissively under him, although Jungkook was anything but while he had ravaged your sweetness with his tongue.

“You’re pretty with your thighs around my face, but there’s just something about you on your knees.” Jungkook teased, his cockiness never failing to make an appearance as he ran a hand through your hair in appreciation.

You hummed to thank him, a sly smile of your own playing on your lips as you slowly lifted your small hand up to his cock. This small action alone had him tensing up completely, hissing quietly as you squeezed your hand loosely against his length repeatedly until he had to intertwine his fingers with your locks and pull your head up.

“You’d better stop unless you want to walk out of this room with my cum dripping down your face.” He warned.

You shrugged, leaning forward a bit, placing your free hand on his thigh while you stroked his cock slowly, your eyes honing in on the clear liquid that leaked from the tip of his length. You licked your lips at the thought of swiping it away with your tongue, but you weren’t supposed to give in this easily. This wasn’t a part of your plan, but you’d give anything just to keep seeing the expression of pure ecstasy on his face.

You continued to stroke him with your hand, purposely digging your nails into his thigh to see if it’d bring a reaction out of him. A shiver ran from his spine to the tips of his toes as you did this, and you couldn’t help the giggle that slipped past your lips.

“You like a little pain?” You teased, narrowing your eyes at him in defiance as you stuck your tongue out, pressing it slowly against his shaft.

You licked a stripe from his balls to the angry tip, looking up at him through your lashes as you swiped the precum away like you originally intended.

It was just as salty as you expected it to be, but you didn’t mind at all. You closed your eyes as you brought your tongue back into your mouth, pressing your lips together and swallowing slowly as you allowed the taste of him to burn down your throat.

“You taste just as good as you look.” You commented seductively, pressing a chaste kiss to his cock head and swirling your tongue around it once more before you began to spread your lips over the expanse of his cock.

Now, you’d definitely had your experience with this sort of thing once or twice before, but Jungkook was big, and there was no way you were fitting your pretty mouth over all of him, no matter how desperately you wanted to. As much as you were dying to get all of him in your mouth, for your own safety and wellbeing, you opted to use your hand to continue to apply some relief to what you couldn’t quite reach with your mouth.

“Oh, shit. That’s so good, baby.” You weren’t sure if he was just in the moment, but your heart fluttered a bit at the pet name.

You hollowed your cheeks as you struggled to take more of him into your mouth. You gagged a handful of times, but Jungkook didn’t seem to mind. He even pulled all of your hair into his hands, using it as a sort of makeshift leash as he pushed you further down onto his cock, wanting to hear you gag on him again.

You worked quickly with your mouth, alternating the flicks of your wrists with your hand to keep Jungkook guessing. He had pressed his weight fully against the wall behind him, his leg twitching occasionally whenever you ‘accidentally’ dragged your teeth along the underside of his dick, not enough to cause any real harm, just enough to ignite a spark.

“Oh my God…” He whimpered.

You did yourself the favor of looking up at him while your mouth was stuffed full, your pussy spasming at the sight. His mouth was hung open in a silent moan, his eyes were screwed shut in pleasure, and a few of his sweaty black locks were stuck to his forehead. You figured you could make him cum just like this, but you’d rather be his personal cumbucket. Was it a bit selfish? Maybe, but you couldn’t care less at the moment. He looked absolutely delectable above you.

He cracked his eyes open just as you slid his cock out of your mouth, gathering up the saliva that built up while your lips were stretched around him and spitting it back out onto his manhood. You were deliberately slow with this, wanting him to feel it the moment it made contact with his head. You watched his face as your saliva spilled down onto his shaft, using this as lubrication as you continued to pump your fist against him.

You sank down further onto your knees, only able to give his balls a few licks with your tongue, and a short lived massage before you were yanked backward, head first. Your immediate reaction to this was a rough squeeze to his cock, since it was the only thing in your grasp at the moment. You let out a strangled groan as he clenched his jaw while looking down at you, cock standing at attention as he debated his next movement.

“Get the fuck up.” He commanded you, although he pulled you up off of the ground by the grip he had on your hair on his own.

He pressed your back to his chest, ensuring you felt every ripple of his muscles pressed against your naked skin. Making a path with his hand from your stomach, in between your breasts, then finally to your neck, he held you firmly against him, so you had no space between your flushed bodies. You felt every rise and fall of his toned chest, his breathing just as ragged as yours.

“I’m going to bend you over that desk there, alright?” He whispered into your ear, his cool breath fanning over your cheek as you nodded eagerly, just wanting him to follow through with his plan instead of telling you the process. After all, actions do speak louder than words.

“When I let you go, I want you to walk over there like a good little slut and bend over. Flip that skirt up and show me your cunt. Can you do that for me?” You felt his cock twitch against your inner thigh, and you nodded again with a quiet moan.

“Go.” He let you go with one word, watching you swiftly walk over toward the desk as he took his length in his right hand and stroked it quickly while approaching you with loud, threatening footsteps.

You weren’t sure how that was possible since he didn’t have shoes on, but it only excited you further. You complied with his orders easily, pressing your cheek against the cold surface of the desk. You hiked the skirt up a bit around your waist and wiggled your ass teasingly as you waited for him to come ravage you.

“You’re cute, but you’re so annoying.” He grunted from behind you, slapping both of your ass cheeks with his heavy hands, massaging them afterward before delivering two more harsh slaps.

“You work me up in front of a room full of people, and then try to collect your stuff afterward as if you weren’t practically begging me to use you? Bullshit.” He spanked your ass again, relishing in the way you hissed after every hit and gripped the edge of the desk tighter.

“I’m going to make a mess out of you, you know that?” He pressed his chest against your back, pushing his weight onto you as he whispered into your ear.

You nodded, his eyes scanning over the expanse of your back as his long fingers momentarily kneaded your muscles.

“What’re you waiting for, then?” You quipped, although your voice sounded a bit flat because of Jungkook’s body weight. He laughed as he pulled himself up off of you.

Silently, he grabbed his cock and lined it up with your pussy as he pressed the head against your tight hole. You moaned at this, inhaling sharply as he just barely slipped himself inside of you. You whimpered in defeat as he pulled out quickly afterward, not wanting to give you the time to savor the feeling of being stretched out by his length.

“I swear, if you wait any longer then I’m going to fuck myself on your dick.” You threatened shakily, to which he smirked at.

“Is that so?” He let go of his cock. “Be my guest, then.” He shrugged, although you couldn’t see him.

You turned around swiftly, beyond irritated at whatever game he was trying to play. You were turned on, and you wanted to be fucked silly, but he was acting like a brat.

“You know what? Fine, I will.” You challenged, looking over your shoulder at him to see the intrigued smile on his face.

You rolled your eyes, roughly grabbing his cock and pushing yourself back onto him hastily. Jungkook disapproved of this, landing a sharp slap to your right ass cheek he gripped your hips roughly. He held you securely, preventing you from sliding back any further onto his cock.

“You’d better slow down, sweetheart.” He warned shakily, his nails leaving small imprints on your skin as he moved his hands down to your ass. “I haven’t cum yet, and your little hole is so inviting.”

You gulped, although something about his threat to cum inside of you was one step closer to pushing you over the edge.

“Take it slowly. Take me in slowly, so I can feel you.” With this he let go of your ass, watching with lidded eyes as your arousal coated more than half of his manhood.

He licked his lips at this, loving the way your juices spilled onto him, and onto the desk. Perhaps he’d make you lick his cock clean afterwards. That’d be a sight to see.

Your hips stuttered before you could take the last few inches, which sent a gigantic boost to Jungkook’s ego. Of course, he knew he was big, but something about seeing you struggle to take him in fully even after you talked all of that shit previously was egging him on.

“You at your limit, baby?” He mocked you, and as soon as you tried to respond, your voice cracked.

He hummed, chuckling slightly as he slid his hands up from your ass to your back, scratching his stubby nails at your flesh before threading his fingers in your hair once more. He roughly yanked your head back with a malicious smile. Your body jolted at this, which sent the rest of his cock plunging into you in one go.

“God, that’s fucking it. Look at you, swallowing Daddy’s dick like a good girl. You look so pretty stuffed full like this.” You were incomprehensive, your entire being filled with thoughts of Jungkook pummeling your pussy out of existence.

“Not so eager to use that fucking mouth now, are you? Hm?” He asked, pulling your head back a bit further.

Your back was so arched that you could see the ceiling and a bit of his face, and this new position made it so much easier for his cock to brush against that spot that made you a mumbling mess.

“You should be ashamed, really.” He said, dropping his head down to look at your ass as he slowly began to work his hips against it. “Have you got anything to say for yourself?” You were taking him so well, but he couldn’t let his unbothered persona falter just yet.

“Well?” He let go of your hair, and you immediately dropped your head forward, your eyebrows furrowed in pleasure as you struggled to hold yourself up on your elbows while he ruthlessly fucked you.

“You’re s-so fucking big.” You mumbled pathetically, causing Jungkook to twitch inside of you.

“I know. You like Daddy’s big fat cock inside that tight little pussy. Tell me, baby. Tell me how much you like it. Tell me how good you feel.” He pushed one of his hands down against your back, silently telling you to press your breasts against the desk. You obeyed, hissing as your nipples hardened instantly after making contact with the cool surface.

“I like—o-oh, oh shit.” Your jaw fell slack as Jungkook began to pick up the pace of his thrusts, his expert hips moving with such sharpness that you could feel it each time he pulled back a bit to fuck himself into you again. Although you didn’t do what he asked of you, he didn’t pressure you any further, his only goal to use you as his cute little cocksleeve.

“Spread your legs for me.” You immediately moved to follow his request, unable to balance yourself on your feet now. This was no problem, as Jungkook easily took a secure grip around your waist to keep you pressed against the desk.

“You feel so good around me like that, oh shit.” Jungkook whimpered, his tongue hanging out of his mouth slightly as he jabbed his fingers into your sides and pulled you onto the tips of your toes. You were startled at the sudden change, although it allowed for him to drive deeper inside of you.

“Put your hands on the edge of the desk now. Do it right fucking now.” He growled like some sort of feral animal. You scurried to follow his orders, just as he began to slam his cock so powerfully inside of your cunt that your hips banged against the metal desk with every other thrust, and you knew there would be bruises.

“F-fuck!” You screamed, and Jungkook responded quickly by throwing his hand messily over your mouth to quiet your moans.

“Shh, Y/N. We can’t let you get caught being a little slut.” He chuckled breathlessly, short moans and growls leaving the back of his throat as he continued to piston his hips in and out of you, your ass slapping against his abdomen every time the two of you connected. You were teetering over the edge, desperately wanting to lose control underneath him.

“I’m cumming, I’m gonna c—JUNGKOOK!” You yelled out in frustration as he slipped his cock out of you.

He grunted, pushing some of the clutter on the desk away before picking you up and setting you on top of it, so he could see your face.

“One,” He said, his voice raspy which caused you to shiver, “You’re not cumming unless I get to see your face when you do. Two,” He continued, slipping himself back into you with ease due to how fucking soaked you were, “You’re not cumming until you beg for it.” He reached for one of your legs and placed it over his shoulder, gripping onto it as he sustained the rapid pace of his manhood plunging into your inviting heat.

“I-I wanna cum, Daddy.” You whispered in defeat, a twinkle in Jungkook’s eyes as he was beginning to finally get you where he wanted you. You weren’t begging just yet, though, which was unfortunate for you because you wouldn’t get an orgasm, and Jungkook was going to cum inside you either way.

“You do, Princess?” He whispered back, still holding your leg while his other hand moved to the back of your head. He pressed your forehead against his, your noses bumping as Jungkook fucked you. You nodded, tears threatening to spill out of your eyes at having to hold your orgasm back.

“You aren’t begging for me, baby. Beg me to give you permission to cum on this dick.” You cried out weakly, knowing that you’d have to give in to his rules in order to achieve that sweet release. It was right in the tip of your tongue.

You placed your arms around his neck, hanging them there loosely as you gazed into his eyes, which were full of lust and carnal desire.

“Can I cum o-on your c-cock—a-ah!” You failed miserably to finish your sentence, as Jungkook began pistoning his cock inside of your cunt with such force that the desk began to screech against the ground a bit, knocking at one of the metal racks behind it.

“I’m so close to cumming, pretty girl. Talk fast.” He warned, thrusts quickly becoming unorganized. You nodded.

“Please let me cum! I-Iv’e learned my lesson, I swear I have! I’m so close Jungkook, p-please!” He grunted his approval, nodding once and delivering about a dozen more thrusts before he dropped his head into the crook of your neck, biting down on the skin there as he began to shoot rope after rope of his cum deep inside of your greedy cunt.

You came with him, your body tensing up for a few moments before your release smacked you like a bus, heavy and unapologetic. Due to the wild fuckfest the two of you had, though, a few utensils hit the ground, and a can of paint was wobbling on the edge of the rack that the desk was smashing against a few seconds ago. Jungkook finally lifted his head up, leaving a trail of kisses in his wake. He placed one final kiss to your forehead before locking eye contact with you.

“I know for a fact that was the best fuck of your life.” You laughed, shaking your head at the fact that his cocky attitude would never settle. Not even after using up (what you assumed was) all of his stamina.

You didn’t mind it, though. In fact, you were starting to grow fond of it.

“It certainly was, but look at all the—“

The can of paint gave way to the pull of gravity, and tumbled to the ground with a deafening crack, the contents of the can flying out and splattering directly onto you and Jungkook. You knew what it was as soon as it hit your skin, and you immediately wondered why someone would leave a damn can of open paint on the top shelf.

It was brief, a big splash, so neither of you really had time to react to it. When you finally lifted your head up, Jungkook’s chest was covered in black paint, as were your legs and skirt. Seriously, the one fucking day you decide to wear pink?

“—Mess. Look at all the mess.” You finished your sentence with a giggle, thankful that you kept towels in the room during your classes. It’d never come out of your skirt, but at least you could wipe it off of your skin.

Your gaze met Jungkooks and you both burst out in a fit of giggles. You couldn’t help but notice the way his eyes lit up when he laughed, the polar opposite of the domineering man who’d just rocked your world minutes before. This Jungkook was soft, open, lighter. His laughter was the most beautiful melody that had ever graced your ears and you wouldn’t have minded listening to it for a very long time. His joy was contagious, and you couldn’t stop the goofy smile from spreading across your lips as he wrapped his arms around you in a playful hug.

Though his touch still sent electricity through you, this was different. It was sweet and gentle. You let yourself melt in his embrace, drinking in the way he made you feel so secure, so wanted. You sighed happily. You grinned mischievously then, collecting some of the paint off of the surface of the desk and wiping a thick stripe of it across his cheek. He froze in shock then glared at you, a hint of a smile playing on those gorgeous lips.

He reached out to grab you, but you were too fast, shrieking in delight as you ran away from him. Jungkook chased you around the small art studio, his laughter floating through the air like your favorite song. His arms snaked around you and he pulled you close, rubbing his cheek against yours to spread the paint over your skin. Your giggles dissolved as he placed a tender kiss to your lips.

Pulling away and placing a peck on his nose, you began pulling your clothes back on. Jungkook watched you, admiring the way your body moved, how much sweeter you were once your attitude had been properly taken care of. You smiled at him over your shoulder, and he couldn’t recall a time when he’d ever seen such a beautiful smile on any other woman. He couldn’t recall seeing another woman who even compared to you.

Then realization brought a similar smile onto his own lips, and Jungkook thought to himself, that he just might have found the one.

#jungkook smut #bts smut #jeon jungkook #jeon jungkook smut #jungkook x reader #jeon jungkook x reader #jeon jungkook x you #jungkook x you #bts jungkook #jeon jeongguk

2K notes · View notes