#my mood is NOT being helped by the fact that its the anniversary of the day after a then friend of mine raped me eleven years ago | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

knightyoomyoui · 2 years

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Mina x Reader- “The Other Side”

(3RD WEEK, MONDAY OF MARCH 2022, AT THE CAFETERIA)

"Maybe I'll help my father run the restaurant. I want to learn some new dishes to cook so that I can prepare more food for myself and also for others if ever.", Jeongyeon shared her plan to her friends, scooping a rice before taking it to her mouth.

"I'll go to Taiwan. I miss my parents already. I decided to spend my time with them for a while.", Tzuyu said next. Both you and Jeongyeon nodded at her because each of you understands Tzuyu's reasons. Tzuyu loves her family that much.

You, Jeongyeon and Tzuyu are friends since both of you three entered high school. In the present time, it is March and you three just finished participating in a photoshoot for the making of this school year's yearbook.

Also, you three are now graduating too on Friday so that means this is the last week that the three of you will now finally exit high school life and enter a new stage of learning and one step before being able to get a job which is college.

"Sounds great.", Jeongyeon commented on Tzuyu's plan. She turned her eyes on you who is sipping some chocolate drink. " What about you Y/N? Any plans for vacation? Oh wait, hows you and Mina going?", she asked you, also entering a new topic to your conversation with her.

"Doing just fine as always. Still strong.", you smiled at them, not knowing that yours has not only happiness is the meaning behind it.

"Your 1st anniversary with her is just about next month already, right?", Tzuyu asked you after wiping her lips with a tissue.

"Yeah it is. Actually Mina planned to take me to Japan with her."

"Oh really?", Jeongyeon gasped and even Tzuyu. " Wait, so you're gonna meet and spend your vacation also with Uncle and Auntie?"

"Right. Mina actually wanted to introduce me to them since its now our anniversary. I agreed too, ofcourse. I would love to know if they have our blessing.", you said to them, showing some hopes in it from the way you spoke it.

"Take it well, Y/N. For sure they will like you. Uncle and Auntie are good-hearted, I promise you that. Just impress them.", Tzuyu said to you, giving you a thumbs-up with her assuring smile. You smiled at her too. Well everything she does to you whenever you're having a bad time just makes your mood get better instantly. She's too caring of a friend to you.

"I will.", you gave her a nod, showing how motivated you are to do it despite the fact that you're still kinda nervous and embarassed.

You might be asking, why is Jeongyeon and Tzuyu calling Mina's parents "Uncle" and "Auntie"? Well it's because Jeongyeon, Tzuyu and Mina are all rich and their parents became friends to each other due to a business they all both attended. Being the daughters of these people, they met and they got to know each other until yeah... they became friends.

The three if you went silent and yes it kinda became awkward but thanks to the noise inside the canteen, it's distracting. While you are absolutely just eating your favorite meal alongside Jeongyeon and Tzuyu, someone just entered the cafeteria and her eyes locked immediately at your place.

She walked across your table and stood beside you, grasping both of your shoulders and massaged it well. It's relaxing but you can't help but to feel chilled, knowing that this woman beside is something more than meets the eye of others.

"Hi, sorry if I'm late but... can I take Y/N with me for a while?", Mina asked the two girls in front of you. They looked at her too while she started to speak.

"Go ahead.", Jeongyeon said, abouy to reach an item in her bag.

Mina grabbed your arm gently and pulled you into hers to follow her on leaving the canteen. You and her went to the side of the lockers and then she starts to hold both of your hands.

"What happened? Did you flirted with them while I'm away? Did they touched you?", Mina very worriedly asked you. She looks like a mom checking up on her child who nearly got into an accident. She scanned all of the skin in your arms while you just looked away.

" No.", you shook your head.

"You're telling the truth?, she asked you again, bring doubtful still on your response but to you it kinda is weird for her to ask this question so you did something to erase the confusion.

"I swear, Mina I didn't. Wait, I have a tracking device remember?", you said, patting your upper body trying to find where is it. You swear that she put it in on you before the two of you went to the school.

"I know but this stupid meeting won't let me keep an eye on you longer so I need to focus on the discussion.", she looked away while pouting. " Anyways you look calm though. Good boy. I'm the only one who can flirt with you, okay?", she traced your collarbone which is kinda ticklish to you especially since she has a medium length fingernails. "Hell, I'm the only one who has the access pass to touch and feel your healthy skin, do you understand baby?", she lift your arm and put it close to her nose to smell the fragrant smell of the soap you used earlier on taking a bath. She kissed the wrist after, letting out smile at what she did.

" I do, mommy. "

"Good, reward's later at home.", she winked at you after leaning her face near at your ear ans whispering it, making your slin shiver. You just nod as a response. " Let's go back to them now and finish our food.", you followed her once again after she starts to walk back.

(30 mins later) "Take care you two! ", Jeongyeon waved her hands so fast at you as she keeps on going far away from you along with Tzuyu.

"Have a safe way home, guys!" , you said to them, raising your voice a bit mofe. Mina is just waving a goodbye at them but she keeps on side-eyeing you.

The two turned around their heads and since they re now gone, Mina stopped what she's doing and even yours by dragging you arm down and wrapping hers around her.

"Stop waving now and let's go. I want your eyes on me now.", she said leaning her face closer to you but you didn't answer verbally, you just did a nod again to her because she knows what answer she wants to hear anyways and you don't want to break it now.

As the two of you start to walk, it scared you a bit when a kid just appeared out of nowhere then he crashed on the ground. His lower body is just right on top of your picture. Even Mina got surprised too.

" Hey kid are you okay?", you helped the child sit up properly. You removed Mina's arms onto yours so that you can be able to kneel infront of the kid and match it's height.

"Yes, Mr. Stranger."

"sk tsk next time be careful okay? Don't run too fast if you still have wiggly legs.", you grinned at him which he just giggled at your funny impression. Mina just smiled at the sight of you two, but it slowly disappeared a bit when she had a thought of something.

"There, all cleaned up.", you gave a one last shake on his clothes to remove bits of dust still stuck on the fabric. Her mother just arrived at the exact time, approaching you and her child.

"Thank you so much and I'm sorry for my child shocking you.", the lady gave you an appreciative smile.

" It's fine maam.", you waved it off. The mother and the child starts to walk away, leaving you and Mina alone again. Fortunately, Mina woke back up from getting absorbed into her deep thoughts.

"Sorry, Mina. I got worried for the boy.", you scratched your nape, kinda nervous if she will be angry knowing her personality now because of how you just suddenly set her aside when she's just getting started being sweet at you again.

"N-not a problem. Seems like the kid landed poorly on the ground. If I were you, I would help him too.", Mina answered simply. You exhaled in relief.

"Lucky he didn't got a wound on his knees on arm. Alright, lets go home now.", you gave your arm at her which she immediately took it and wrapped it again at hers.

"You're so kind-hearted, Y/N.", she said to herself proudly. But... what about the part where she became sad thinking of it?

Mina is a yandere. For anyone who doesn't know what a yandere means, they are the ones who has a strong love affection and devotion to their lovers to the point where they can be super obssessed and possesive to them. They will do everything just to get their heart and they do not care if they can kill anyone whether its a nobody or someone special to you.

But the different thing about Mina is that... she doesn't like taking someones lives. She's just an abusive lover actually. And after she saw how good of a being you are by helping that kid who tripped, something just snapped inside of her.

It's like... it was trying to make her understood everything that happen.

And it is for her to judge those.

Which made her ask a question to herself...

Why is she hurting such a good-hearted person like you?

Later in the evening, you and her were on the bedroom as both were lying in the bed. Mina brought some popcorn beside her which is placed just between the two of you.

"Being true to my words, no cuffs for tonight plus, lots and lots of kisses and long hug for you!"

"So Y/N, what movie do you want us to watch?"

"Just pick what you want instead.", you don't watch a lot of movie but you like films actually. You are too lazy to choose what movies you want to recommend because all of those were your favorite.

"Hehe, you don't have any idea huh? Okay sure, let's pick <name of movie you want which had scene just like what I am about to mention here>.", then she reached for the remote and starts searching the name of the movie she picked. You didn't know it so you're interested to see how it goes.

While the two of you are watching which made you really focused on the plot of the movie because it was going steady and even the actors acted so well in this, she shared something that made you listen to her for a second. "You know, when I was watching this before, I was so envious of the main character here. She got what she wanted. The boy loved her back. I wondered how it feels like to be loved. To possess something you want to have."

" Now... I can finally relate to this movie, and it made me even loved it more... exactly how I loved you such for being into my life, Y/N. I love you so muchhh!", and there she startes to do the other rewards aka the lots of kisses and hugs.

"You're w-welcome, Mina.", you said while she's continouslyraining you with pecks of her lips around your face. She even started doing it on your neck too but you didn't mind it because you need to get used to this since you don't know how much longer you will be able to be with her.

After the movie ended, Mina turned off the TV and she looked at you.

"What do you think about the movie?"

"It's great. It made feel touched.", you said in honesty.

"I'm glad you enjoyed it, Y/N. You know that I won't let disappoint you right? ", she then stroked your hair.

"I do.", she then gave you a gummy smile which made her adorable.

You weren't aware to yourself that you're starting to like everything Mina is doing even though you know what she is right now without these loving gestures she's doing.

It just... made you completely forget about it.

Now, you thought to yourself that maybe... maybe you'll just let yourself fall in love with her too if it might happen.

One day, you will accept her character... but you're still wishing that she'll change again, because you know that the Mina you knew is still in there inside her. You can even see it from the way she acts sometimes but the difference is that it got overdosed from her excessive love obssession she had on you. She went too greedy and needy for your love and affection, in your opinion.

"Can we sleep now? I'm getting sleepy now.", you even yawned, showing more proof to her.

"Oh sure we can now, Y/N. We should rest.", you started to position yourself into a seeping posture you're most comfortable at.

"Goodnight my love. I love you."

"I- I love you t-too, Mina. Goodnight.", and then you quickly shut your eyes to drift away to sleep.

Meanwhile, Mina didn't sleep immediately as she watched you sleeping while she recalled some scenes the movie you two watched, how you responded on her as she shared her story to you and her greet to you before you sleep.

"He still seems forced to say it, and I can't blame him.", Mina leaned her back on the headboard of the bed and lowered her head down as she starts to slowly frown. There, she started to remember again everything where these all started. ----------------------- <FLASHBACK> (LAST YEAR, MARCH 2021, EVENING AT MINA'S BEDROOM)

Blinding lights were the first ones to appear as your sight reactivated again. You blinked rapidly, hating how bright it is. You groaned a couple times because of the pain you feel in the back of your head. You feel dizzy, to be honest. I mean, who would anyone doesn't when you just got hit hard by a chopping board.

As you finally regained your vision completely, you looked around you and it is familar to you, because you've been here once... but you're wondering why are you here when the time is already 12:30 in the midnight.

Then what happened earlier just flashed back in your head.

You looked in front you and there, you saw someone who is... yeah, really familiar to you, just by staring at her hair and her figure.

She was half naked to be honest, because you saw her squat sitting with only a strap of black bra can be seen on her clear white skin of her back along with her matching black panty still able to cover her thick huge butt a bit.

And then, you started to think different thoughts of possibilities why in the hell are you seeing her in this? With that, the panic mode starts to activate inside of you.

"Ugh fudge my head. W-why I am- Is this- M-Mina?", that's the one you said when you saw her facing the cabinet. She looks like she's finding something.

"Oh you're awake now! Too bad, you're out of time. We're just about to go to sleep now.", she said, only turning her head on the side but still not looking at you.

"You like what you're seeing? Bet Jeongyeon won't have these to give you huh.", she smirked after teasing you, placing her pajamas out of the cabinet.

You are literally so confused right now, what the hell is she saying?

"Mina, may I know what the hell just happened? AND WHY I AM CHAINED?", you saw your wrists all locked up in cuffs that is connected at the poles beside the bed. You struggled to try escaping these by aggresively pushing and pulling your arms, making the metal cuffs clang.

"Ssshhh it's alright Y/N. I didn't want to hurt you, but I need to do it.", she stood up, walking beside you and putting her index finger in the middle of your lips. "I just made you stop blabbering about things I don't want to hear thats why.", she combed your hair before pulling away as she starts to wear her pajamas.

"WHATS FOR THAT HIT ON MY HEAD? Mina... what do you want?", you raised your voice because you're starting to get mad now and at the same time you're getting scared because you don't know if this is still Mina you're with at.

"I WANT YOU, Y/N! YOU'RE THE ONE I WANT. BECAUSE I LOVE YOU!", she dived straight beside you on the bed. You sipped a bit of air after she buried your cuffed wrist with her body.

There, she confessed to you. Now it makes sense to you why she suddenly hit you hard in the head, making you knocked out. You remembered that you revealed to her that you had a crush on Jeongyeon at that time and you're even planning to confess to her and ask her to be your prom date at the upcoming prom party in your school.

Everyone would be felt sad and jealous when they heard it right from the ones they are admiring that they are falling in love with someone instead of you. But, it was different from Mina. She took it way more seriously and this time, she had enough.

"SO BAD THAT CAN'T LET ANYONE TAKE YOU AWAY FROM ME. NOT EVEN JEONGYEON OR TZUYU OR WHOEVER WHO DARES TO TRY. BECAUSE YOU'RE MINE, Y/N. I LOVE YOU AND WE NEED TO LOVE EACH OTHER. Can you do it for me, Y/N?", she asked you while cupping both of your cheeks, squeezing them while she's staring deeply at you.

" W-why... are you doing this to me. What happened to you Mina?", you are starting to tremble, with tears of fear coming out slowly from your eyes are you saw her eyes felt different. It looked sadistic, sinister and more evil. Gone from the angelic and charming you once saw in her.

" I'm still the one you know, Y/N. I've been true to you since the beginning, and I can't lie. Not even my feelings for you, Y/N.", she placed her hand on top of your chest and starts to rub it gently, feeling your well built hard chest. She placed her one leg on top of yours, clinging onto you.

"It's just that my patience is getting thinner and thinner and my breaking point just crossed its level whenever I see you with her.", she rolled her eyes in annoyance.

"Whenever I see you being happy with her, it makes my blood boil that I could just AGHHH! If only I'm not bestfriends with Jeongyeon then I'll make her disappear. But... that's not right anyways. I don't want to kill.", you just gulped when you heard what she could do to your crush and her friend. You feel bad and guilt for Mina seeing her become like this. It was like, you just created a monster you didn't even meant to.

"I must be thankful to her instead, for being a bridge. Because of her... our paths crossed, and our destiny of being together has now fulfilled.", she giggled. That adorable sound you like tl hear from her is still there, it's just... it doesn't feel the same anymore.

"Don't worry, Y/N. you will learn how to love me too. Don't try to fight it, everything will be alright. I promise I will be the best girlfriend you will ever had.", she planted multiple kiss in your cheeks, forehead, nose and lastly on your lips. You ain't gonna lie, Mina is a good kisser but you disregard it completely because what matters most here is that you're in a real deal right now.

"Cmon, let's get to sleep now my love.", you actually don't want to but knowing what she can already do to you to disobey her, you just followed her instead, not wanting to piss her off more. "

" Ooh it feels so good being in your arms. I'm so happy that you're here by my side, and no one can interrupt us anymore.", she said as she placed her shoulder at the crook of your neck. She went asleep immediately and she was humming before she did. Meanwhile, you just got left alone still staring at the ceiling, silently crying inside as you're trying to figure out how can you escape from this hell built by a fallen angel you once knew.

(THE NEXT DAY, MORNING AT MINA'S DINING ROOM AREA)

"SOMEONE HELPPPP!!! HELP- mmph!!!", she shutted your mouth by covering your mouth and wrapping her hand around your neck. You can't breathe and not only 10 seconds you want an air to breathe in and out again.

"One more help and you won't like what's gonna happen next.", you just nodded slowly, not wanting to fight back anymore at your failed stupid attempt. She slowly removed her hand after and she starts to pluck your upper and lower lips like a guitar.

"Oh those lips, I don't want to damage it. It looks so juicy. So delicious. I could just place my lips onto yours 24/7.", she gave you a kiss after that lasted a bit longer.

"You don't know I dreamt of it every single day. Everything about you is always on my mind.. So please, cooperate with me hmm?", she licked her lips by her tongue after. Not gonna lie, seeing Mina being dominant makes her so hot and sexy despite the fact that she's acting very possessive and obssessed. You didn't know that she can have this side to pull perfectly too.

"Cmon lets get to breakfast Y/N. And don't you dare run, you have no chance of getting out anyways, I'm telling you.", she gave you a warning before heading back to the kitchen. You got left alone for a while as the only you can do is to watch her putting the food onto the plates from the pan.

She went back, now placing the plates on the table. After placing the food onto your plate, she sat right next to you and then she scooped some and was about to start feeding you.

"Here's your breakfast, my love! Cmon, take a bite. I made it for you.", you were a bit hesitating because this feels really weird. Her facial expression immediately into something much terrifying.

"HEY! DO YOU HEAR ME? I SAID EAT!", she slapped your cheek hard, making you wake up more from this nightmare. "You're thinking of that selfish Jeongyeon again, aren't you?", she puts down the spoon aggressively, causing a loud sound from the plate. You flinched and starts to shiver again as you made her irritated again, but you didn't want to actually.

"Wait no- I'm not-"

"WHAT IS SO SPECIAL ABOUT HER ANYWAYS? DON'T YOU SEE SHE DOESN'T LIKE YOU?", she stood up from her seat, thumping her feet in rage. You're just looking away from her because you're completely afraid now. "I'M THE ONE WHO'S LOVING YOU SO BAD HERE. YOU WANTED IT RIGHT? THEN WHY DON'T YOU JUST LOVE ME BACK, Y/N? WE'RE MEANT TO BE TOGETHER, AND YOU CANT CHANGE THAT!", she tugged your hair and she starts brushing her hand on the side of your face.

"You made me mad, fine, let's see if this won't make you follow me still. ", she starts to reach for the fork and then

... she slammed the spikes of it right at the top of your hand, causing you to scream in agony.

"AAAAAAAHHHHHHHH OH GOD RRRAAAGHHHH SHIT!!!! MY HAND...."

"NOW EAT!", she picks up again the spoon full of chunk of food and slowly put it on your mouth. You just accepted it despite wincing still from how painful the fork was stabbed in your hand. "There you go, oh you're so cute while chewing. Those cheeks, so fluffy. I can just pinch on it whenever I want. How's my food, is it good?", she said as she watches your cheeks going up and down while you're chewing.

"I- it is g-good."

"Good boy. Does it hurt too much? I'm sorry, my love. See, I don't want to hurt you but you're making me do this. Don't do it again, okay?", you just nodded in response to her. You were about to cry again but you just contained it. " Here, I'll take care of it. You'll be fine.", she went for a first aid on the kitchen and starts to clean and wrap a bandage on the stab wound of the fork onto your hand.

You were actually surprised that she still able to be concerned about what she did to you and became caring after, and that there... is where the start of you continuing on believing at her that she still the Mina you know, it's just the love she felt for you made her way too greedy to achieve it to the point that it made her crazy and needy.

"Mina... can you please let me go? I'm begging you. I- This doesn't need to be in this way."

"THIS IS THE WAY, Y/N. IF I DON'T DO THIS THEN I'LL BE DAMNED WATCHING YOU BEING HAPPY WITH HER AGAIN. I'LL JUST KILL MYSELF THEN IF YOU AND HER BECAME TOGETHER IF THAT HAPPENS.", she said, turning her face into a serious one, wanting to show you how empty and she looked if she won't be with you.

You felt bad ofcourse because you still don't want it happen, despite of Mina being obssessed to you. In fact, you hated it to happen AGAIN. It was enough in the past, you don't want to witness the same in the present.

"You know, I want to say no but it sucks that I can't do it because you and I still need to study, find a job to built a bright future for the two of us.", she sighed heavily. "Sure. In one condition."

"What is it?", you said, your eyes widened a bit because you were thinking already that she won't let you do it.

"I'm gonna be your girlfriend from now on, and you will take away your feelings for Jeongyeon completely. Isn't it greedy to love two person at the same time? And ofcourse I don't want it, because I only want you to focus on me.

I want you to only love me... and I want you to only look at me with those loving beautiful eyes of yours. I don't want anyone sharing with you, because you're my property and you're mine Okay? ", she said as she sat on your lap and wrapper her arm around your neck as she looked closely into your face.

"But c-can I just meet them?",

"Fine, you can baby.", she sighed heavily again ahile rolling her eyes and grunting in disappointment. "BUT I will always be there on your side. I will observe their touches, everything they do around you and even the girls you met, so that I know if you're cheating on me or not. Because if you do... mommy will give you punishment. You don't want it right?", she raised your head by holding your chin.

"R-right."

"So... is it okay to you baby?"

" I'll do everything, just please don't hurt me, Mi-"

"Mommy. Starting today call me mommy when we're alone and I call you my baby okay?", Jesus, this dominant side of her is really unexpected from her. You didn't even thought how dangerous and seductive she looked when she does this.

"Y- Yes, mommy.", you stuttered, embarassed and also blushing a bit.

"You're so cuteee! I can't believe this is happening, it makes me so happy! Finally have you, the one I wanted so bad, the only one I loved the most. I promise you Y/N, I can give what Jeongyeon cannot do. Everything you want. Because I love you, I love you so much Y/N. And you're gonna love me too!!!", then she starts to fire some rapid kisses around your face after she tightly pinched your cheeks, groaning a but from the pain you slightly felt.

"Now finish your food, we'll go shopping later to buy some outfits for tomorrow."

(THE NEXT DAY, PROM NIGHT AT THE SCHOOLS'S GYMNASIUM) "Wow, you two look really good. So who are you two's partners. Where are they?", Tzuyu said after standing up, approaching the two of you walking together.

" Actually, Y/N's my prom partner.", and there, she grabbed your arm and cuddled on it.

"Because I'm now h-her boyfriend.", you gulped. You know you don't want to but you have no other choice but to follow from her own will.

You were wishing at that time that you can say that instead with Jeongyeon having her in your arms.

"WHAT? SINCE WHEN? REALLY? WHY DID YOU TWO DIDNT TELL US?", Tzuyu gasped in shock, her eyes wide open as she exchanged glances at you and Mina.

"We thought it's better if its a surprise.", Mina showed a smile.

"What surprise?", you knew who that voice owned by, so you turned your head around, even Mina did the same too and also Tzuyu.

There you saw your crush, Jeongyeon who is wearing a purple dress. She looked so beautiful in it.

No offense, Mina and Tzuyu looked great on their mint and white colored dress but ofcourse seeing your crush just hits different from the feels.

"Oh, Jeongyeon-unnie! YOU GOT TO KNOW THIS. Y/N AND MINA ARE NOW A COUPLE!", Tzuyu said, placing her hands on each other's shoulders, one at Mina and one at yours.

"Wait what? Wow congratulations then. When did you two became official? We didn't even know you two are mutual.", Jeongyeon was confused, her eyebrows met as she was pointing her finger and swaying it back and forth at you and Mina.

"2 days ago. Sorry, we thought we should reveal it as a surprise."

"Ohh okay. Well, stay strong to the two of you.", Mina smiled proudly, hugging tighter at your arm while you just showed a weak one, because deep inside you're hurting so bad. It feels like you're gonna have a heart attack anytime soon.

" Anyways, Tzu where's yours?"

" Oh Taehyung's with his friends he excused himself for a while to talk to them. Who's yours?"

"Vernon. He did it after he asked me out few days ago, and I gave him a chance since I like him too. He went to the restroom for a second.", that made your heart even shattered more. You're chances of confessing your feelings for her are now sank completely at 0 percent. What's worse is because you'll never gonna get a chance now too, because she's now taken.

"Oh the muse and the escort of Class A are prom partners huh... and also having crush at each other!", Tzuyu teased Jeongyeon who is now blushing. Oh god, if only you can cry ready but you're still saving it.

"Have fun with her, unnie!", Jeongyeom nodded. She saw Vernon entering the gymnasium again, so she waved goodbye at the three of you and walked across to her prom partner.

"Isn't she damn lucky, Y/N?", Tzuyu asked you out of nowhere.

"Oh... y-yeah she is. She is.", you said, as you looked away already before seeing Jeongyeon and Vernon hold their hands together.

"Can we dance, Y/N?", Mina asked you, you got interrupted from grieving on your feelings but you don't mind it. In fact, you needed a distraction.

" Sure. See you later Tzu! ", you two waved goodbye at Tzuyu who is just about to be approached by Taehyung. Mina pulled you to follow her as the two of you entered the dance circle.

It was a romantic song playing. She didn't wasted any more time to feel how great of an experience this is and when she was about to position herself for a dance with you, you crashed your body on her as you hugged her while finally releasing all the tears that are begging to come out since yesterday.

"Don't worry, Y/N. I'll make you cheer up. Let her have fun with others, you'll gonna find happiness with me I swear with all my heart, Y/N.", Mina went again from being a caring one to you as she comforted you. You didn't even said anything but you appreciated it.

Yes, at first you know that it's her fault for pulling you away from the opportunity but thinking it again, you realized that she just did thst so that you won't fool yourself and avoid hurting you and make Jeongyeon also do the same too.

In short, she somewhat... saved you.

Back at the present, she compared it all from the scenes she saw in her favorite movie. She found it completely different.

The way how she got your heart and treated you versus how the character did it.

Although it was an act, the feelings of the lover who submits to her admirer that she shows looked even more natural and healthy than how you respond to her. Yours was forced and unnatural because you were uncomfortable and scared... everything you might want to describe more that's related to this.

All of that because of how inappopriately she did to you.

Now it made her realize that she doesn't need to do this, especially to the one she loves.

Having those problems and slow realization of everything, Mina just buried her face with both of her palm.

--------------- (THURSDAY, 3RD WEEK OF MARCH, AT THE PARK)

"Mina, sunset's about to come up.", you pointed at the direction of the sun. Mina stopped eating her ice cream as she looked also, her eyes enlightened at how gorgeous it looked.

"Oh take me a picture, Y/N please!", she tugged your arm. You just laughed a bit at how childish she acted.

Yes, you are now in love with her. That's why. It finally came to the point that you finally accepted her for being like this to you.

You just focused on looking at the positive not on the negative side here where she is abusing you because of something that makes her triggered.

Setting those aside, you remembered that she helped you, she showed to you how much she cares for you, she stayed by your side, she made you experience what is it like to be loved.

And with that, it's enough to consider already that you're falling for Mina. She just did everything for you which you appreciate so well from the bottom of your heart.

But... you decided to not unleash it all full on expressing it to her if she doesn't return because yeah you're still giving her a time to change.

"You don't need to beg. Stand there, it fits perfect.", Mina followed you and she stood still at the spot you suggested. After capturing a photo of her, you showed it to her.

"It looks great, but you know what better than this? The two of us under the sunset! Cmon Y/N, one more time!"

"Sure. Alright, on my side. There.", you prepared your camera but suddenly something made your heart beat faster.

She gave you a backhug plus she even gave you a kiss to be captured in the camera.

There's definitely no escape anymore from her.

"Look how wonderful we looked here, Y/N!", deep inside you agreed too because it is actually true. You two really looked like a couple. " I was only thinking of you and I at some scenarios but I never imagine being you on my side, your attractive face closer to mine. What a sight to see, isn't it? Right, my love?"

"Yeah right.", God you really want to just say it her directly and compliment how good you two looked in the picture but still won't do it for now.

"Wait, wanna go sit at the grass? Let's do the same as others here. Maybe it is comfortable.", you said as you looked at the empty spot in the grass.

"Sure do my love. I'm gonna lay in your lap, if that's okay to you.", you just nodded at her. You sat on the grass and there she laid with her head over your thighs. You gently stroked her silky long black hair as you admire the beauty features of her elegant face.

Meanwhile, Mina was facing at the couple inches away from the two of you. They were eating together and they seemed happy with each other.

Mina then remembered something again.

------------------ <FLASHBACK> (1 YEAR AGO, MAY 2021, AT <name of famous Korean restaurant you know)

" You don't know how excited I am for this, Y/N. It feels so surreal, eating together with my one and only man, and it's not just like that... we're literally having a date! Do you like the place Y/N.", Mina said then she gave a peck of kiss on your cheek. You escorted her on her seat by moving the chair for her. She sat, this elegant looking woman now facing you in the table.

"I am. I am. I-It looks so fancy and exp-pensive.", you said, stuttering because you are a bit uncomfortable here.

"Are you getting a bit uncomfortable my love? Am I m-making you scared?, she said then she pouted, holding your trembling hand.

"No no it's just... I'm not really get used to go in this type of place. It's my first time.", you chuckled nervously.

"Don't be, Y/N. Since we're now together, feel like you're living in a life like mine because we're gonna live like this forever. Just like what I said, I'll change your life for the better, Y/N. I'll do everything for my love, remember?", she massaged your hand and planted some kisses at each bottom of your fingers.

"I know. Oh there's the waiter.", you pointed at the waiter who is about to approach you two.

" Ooh let's get started Y/N. Pick everything you want, I'll take care of everything. I'm so excited!!!", she even repositioned herself on the seat because of the adrenaline rushing through her body that made her move too much.

20 minutes later, you two are now eating, finally having the first date with your girlfriend. You two shared some stories together, yours isn't that much. Mina then even recommended something to do since she wanted it to try, you accepted it.

She feeds you with her food and she encourages you to do the same which you did too.

Mina can even remember how you acted that time. You may look like you're fine with the time you spent with her, but she's now realizing that you actually didn't. You're just trying yourself to be okay in front of her so that she can be assured that she will enjoy that night.

Then she wondered to herself, frowning...

"I was the only one being so in love since that night... and up to this day I see that it still is.",

Oh little does she know though.

-------- (TUESDAY, 4TH WEEK OF MARCH AT JEONGYEON'S HOUSE) It's been four days already after the graduation ceremony happened last Friday, officially ending the school year and the end of your high school experience. You along with your friends and Mina all received an honor award, and with the achievements it made you happy and proud for each other.

But you felt that most on Mina.

Well, she is your girlfriend and seeing her who owns your heart getting exactly the same one thing important to you on studying hard on your education puts a smile on your face.

It was not a surprise to you anyways, you knew she was really smart and definitely a role-model student.

Mina does feel the same too as yours when she saw you receiving your diploma plus medal, but she didn't think that you would feel the same thing as hers too. Her problem about how she treats you still bothers her.

That's why her graduation is a bit bittersweet to her.

You were all alone at Mina's house right now. Mina left you for a while because she excused herself that she will be at Jeongyeon's place to visit her friend. You learned that Tzuyu will be there too.

It's kinda strange thinking that Mina is an obssessed and possessive lover of yours which won't let you be away from her and won't let herself can't see every move you make yet she left you here on your own plus she didn't even put a tracking device on you or cuffs. She just said that guard the house for her.

She didn't even doubted you.

It made you wonder what is happening to her but you're gonna be honest that you're liking this more since you were gaining more freedom to move this time.

"I feel so tensed. Agh, i'm trying to tell him not to come but he keeps on pushing that he wants to support me.", Jeongyeon anxiously said while she's scrolling on her phone which contains her chat box with Vernon.

"I know it does make you feel nervous unnie but you gonna take it. Vernon is just being a supportive boyfriend. Who knows? Maybe you'll get more encouraged on what you're learning to cook.", Tzuyu said while playing with Butter, one of her pet dogs.

"And what if I fail? What if he got disappointed in me?

"You're overthinking way too much, Jeongyeon-unnie. I don't think he can be like that. He can't get even mad at you. He just loves you that much. Chill okay?", Mina joined the conversation, trying to make her friend calm down, helping Tzuyu on comforting their unnie.

"Did you already bought a ticket on your flight with Y/N to Japan, unnie?", Tzuyu asked Mina. That mention of your name made Mina out of herself a bit.

" Yup I-I just did y-yesterday."

"Oh, speaking of boyfriends, how's Y/N oppa doing today Mina-unnie?", Tzuyu asked, now looking at Mina who is startled. She really want to know what's going on with you inside her house right now, but she must stick to the plan which is to control herself when you're not around. For her, she thought that this would be a challenge to herself to know if she's prepare to finally change again.

Yup, she wants to change now. She realized that everything she's doing for you won't work well. She doesn't want it anymore. She doesn't want to hurt you, so she's trying her best to drop her possesive and obssessed self she has.

"Good, he's just uhm... watching TV in the house.", Mina just made it up since that's the last thing she can remember seeing you doing something before she left. She really hope that you're doing fine in her house right now.

"You must be lucky, Mina... to have Y/N. You don't know how great of a guy he is."

"I am and I do.", Mina said, letting out a small smile and then looked at her wallpaper on her phone containing your picture with her under the sunset.

"Vernon-oppa and Y/N-oppa are quite similar, If I may say. Oh do you know how many times he mentions your name proudly?", Tzuyu said while taking care of Kaya, her another pet dog. What Mina just heard made her gasp hugely because that was unexpected from her.

"H-he did?", Mina asked Tzuyu in disbelief. She was asking to herself how can you still do that? She was expecting even worse that you might mention your name in a curse or whatsoever to make her life more miserable than what she did to you.

"Yeah. He shares what the two of you did like playing games, you beating him. Bragging about your food you cook for him. Like those ones.", Tzuyu shared. Mina is just listening in awe.

"And recently after the graduation, he even expressed how much he's proud of you when he saw you receiving those awards like he did too. He said that he just can't help but to smile for you.", Mina starts to imagine it all. She just can't still believe it. How can still be able to love her too despite of everything sorrowful she's done to you? She asked to herself. She really wants to know all lf these.

Yes, she admits that she wanted you to love her back but realizing all of these unpleasant doings she did to you, she don't deserve you at all. A great man doesn't need to explore a future with an abuser woman like her.

"So take care of our friend, will you? Like what Tzuyu said, consider yourself having a loving boyfriend like Y/N. And I'm glad that you and I are having the same experience in our relationships, Mina.", Jeongyeon continued and added as she smiled at Mina. She just did the same to disguise herself that she's perfectly fine even though she really don't. Even the times where she badmouthed her friend Jeongyeon, the one who is helping her always at her problems and standing as the older sister-like to her; behind her back after she finally had you made her look so disgusted at herself now from how kind of a friend she'd become because of her obssession at you.

She winced at the word "care" said by Jeongyeon because for her, even though with those sweet and loving gestures she did for you... that was all nothing to you because she gave you trauma, fear, panic, uncomfort, everything.

With that, she was sure that she never really took care of you just like what she said which makes you not being fully safe with her... because she realized that she was the danger all along here in your life.

Thinking about redemption of regaining something that she lost and failed to do so, she became encouraged even more to completely change again and do it right this time by executing her plan for each other's own good.

About 2 hours later, she returned back to her house. You opened the door for her, revealing an energy drained and pale Mina in front of you. She didn't even managed to let out a smile after she saw you. The Mina you now know can even throw herself at you just having you on her sight.

" Hey, you're home.", you said.

"Hey.", she just simply greeted back. She still maintained to be seriously normal as she walked inside the house and went to the dining area.

"So uhm... what did you do out there?", you asked her, gaining some confidence flr you to do it. You just want to check her up because you were worried too for her.

"Just went at Jeongyeon's. Here, the food I promised.", she placed the pl astic with container full of meal she ordered for you.

"Okay. Wow, lasagna. This is actually my favorite. Thanks, Mina.", you smiled at her. She liked it so much that she's making you happy, but she was not satisfied with this and she knows you too.

She wants you to be happier thats why she needs to continue what she is about to do.

"You're welcome.", and then you start taking a seat to eat the lasagna Mina bought for you.

While you were taking your dinner, you noticed that Mina came back with cuffs on her hand. You already know it that your hands are gonna get locked up again.

But to your surprise, she passed you and went next to the kitchen. She opened the garbage bin and she threw it there, which made your eyebrows furrow at what you just saw.

After taking out the trash outside of the house, you confusedly asked her why did she do that.

"Uhm... did I do something? Why are you throwing the cuffs to the trash?"

" I just don't think you will need it. I'm not gonna put it back starting today.", Mina said. Wow, that was a shocker to you. You were thankful for it but seriously you can't help but to think...

Somethings definitely wrong right now with her.

Because you're starting to see that she's acting strange and different, way beyond the obssessed and possessive Mina you encountered after you revealed once to her that you have a crush on Jeongyeon.

You're somewhat seeing again the Mina you first met in the class, the one Jeongyeon and Tzuyu introduced to you.

You are liking that this is finally happening ofcourse but at the same time you are getting worried what made her become like this especially that she doesn't look impressed by it?

"So yeah- eat well my love. I'll just go upstairs to change.", Mina said, giving you a flat smile as she left you to go upstairs.

"Thanks for this Mina.", you said while she was halfway onto the stairs. She just nodded at you and then you continued eating.

You weren't aware that Mina didn't went all up as she just stared at your back while fighting her tears not to cry, making her face and lips twitch, the realization she just had is striking her again.

"I c-can't believe what I did all along. I'm just hurting this precious being i'm seeing right now. How can you still love me, Y/N?", she said to herself after she recalled earlier that Tzuyu and Jeongyeon revealed how much you love Mina but you never show it to her.

Even at showing your affection, she even made you uncomfortable sharing it.

After that, she shook her head and went to her room finally, but this time you were the one now who's asking youself in your head.

"Did something happened to her? This is unexpected.", you said while looking at your freed wrists and your hands and yourself being alone, eating in the dining room.

----------------------- (WEDNESDAY, 4TH WEEK OF MARCH 2022, AT MINA'S HOUSE)

The next day, you woke up in her bed, slowly moving her arms placed at you. Again, you noticed something different because when you're always doing this to her, she would rather pull you back to bed and cuddle once more or either she will wake up too.

But she didn't, she stayed asleep.

So you just went downstairs to prepare breakfast which is your first time in a year since Mina is the one who is doing this for you. You were amazed that you can still prepare food, making you laugh at yourself a little.

Later in the 4PM of afternoon, you two were just on the couch, relaxing. You were only watching basketball while Mina is reading a cosmetic magazine.

Not gonna lie, you were already missing her being clingy to you. So, you did a brave move by switching your place and sat next at Mina so that you can receive just a hug from her if she wants to.

But she didn't. She just kept on reading. Mina on the other hand, was trying to contain herself, she just gulped hard. It was torturous for her but, isn't it a bit fair too that she's suffering the same as you?

" I'll go prepare my things now for the flight.", Mina stood up from seat, placing down her magazine.

Yes, today also is the last day before you and her are going to Japan to spend a vacation. You are now also about to meet this penguin's parents.

But you don't know something that she did, and right now you were about to.

"Alright, I'll just do the s-", you were about to stand up too but Mina blocked your way using her hand.

"No."

"Uhm why? Shall I do it later? After you?", you asked her puzzledly.

"Place your things in your bags, instead. You can pack and get out of here.", Mina said, turning her body away from you. You were so shocked right now, did you just hear it right that she's letting you go?

Just by hearing that made you assured already that the yandere Mina you once knew is completely gone.

" Wait, I thought I'll be joining you in Japan?", you asked her. Right now you just don't know why is she being like this to you.

"I changed my mind.", after she said you felt that your heart started to crack up. You were actually wanting this to happen but it seems that her change is even affecting also how she feels for you.

If you just know that her heart crumpled a bit also after saying that words, finally revealing her plan to you.

Yes, she wants you to stay away from her anymore because yeah she was thinking that she doesn't deserve your love after everything horrible she did on you. So she did it by letting you escape whenever you want, removing the locks from the doors, the cuffs, the tracking devices, the collars everything.

She also hide your passport and flight ticket on one of her mini boxes, she decided to just use one for herself because she wants you not to go with her to Japan too.

She was about to go upstairs but after how confusing everything is happening right now, you completely snapped. You hold her arm much her to surprise, preventing her to continue her move.

" I'm not buying that. That's not the reason isn't it.", Mina just lowered down her head. " Y-You don't let me be away from your side easily and now, you're telling me you want me to go away from you?"

"I know there's something wrong, Mina. Tell me. I can even see it from the way you move yesterday. EVERYTHING. What's the problem?", you begged for her to share it because right now you just really want to help her that's why.

"I- I'm just giving you the chance to be free now, Y/N. You can walk away and never ever look back from-

"CAN YOU ATLEAST TELL ME WHY ARE YOU BEING LIKE THIS? Mina, did I made you mad-"

"YOU DON'T. I- i'm...mad, at MYSELF!", she finally broke down in tears as she hugely cried, it made you hurt ofcoursez seeing her like this. She went slowly down, sitting on one of the steps of the stairs. You just stood there and watched her.

"FOR EVERYTHING! For everything I did to you, Y/N and I was so stupid, blind and numb to realize everything early after days and nights of thinking properly that made me judge about my actions I did on you for a whole year.", she sniffed, holding both sides of her head.

"It made me ask...why am I doing these things to someone I love? Why am I abusing you just to love me too? And I'm sorry... I'm so sorry. I shouldn't have locked you here with me and hurt you physically and emotionally. I'm sorry if I'm just forcing you to love me too. I'm sorry if i'm just breaking your heart.

" I know you do but deep inside I know you're hurting too. You didn't even wanted to have me in the first place, right? I feel horrible to myself, treating you like this, making myself crazy from owning you that I should be the only one for you.", she said as she pointed aggressively at you.

"All I gave to you during our whole year of relationship I just built is nothing but torture, despair and pain isn't it? You met a psychopath, obsessed woman like me who ruined your peaceful life.

You don't deserve a terrible person like me for such a good-hearted man like you, that's why I'm ending this relationship that didn't even grew naturally in the first place.", now it all made sense to you why is she trying to get rid of you and everything about her slow change once again back into her original self she once had.

"I love you, and to do that... I must let you, go Y/N. You're now free. I'm sorry... I'm really sorry.", she covered her face as she continued sobbing so loud that only her cries can be heard through inside of the house.

You are now in this part where she finally got what she wanted. There's no turning back now. She made you fall in love with her too... and with her request, it doesn't suit well to you. So you didn't hesistated more to say what you say for her.

"No. I'm not going away.", that made Mina slowly remove her hands at her face and look at you in disbelief, those reddish poor eyes of hers clearly can be seen.

She looked really pitiful in your own eyes.

"What are you saying? You have the chance now t-", she was about to finish her words but you interrupted her.

"You said it already that I love you, right? And I DO. I love you, Mina. Yes, I confessed, at first I didn't... but months have passed and you grew onto me now.", Mina already knows that, but it still feels great hearing it all now coming from you. "How you express your love for me just makes my heart flutter, I can't deny. Those pain I receive when you're getting mad or jealous at me, I just don't mind it because it was my fault anyways for making you feel like that.

I must be thankful actually that these happened to me, because if it wasn't for these... it will not make me stop fighting for something I never know I won't win.... and it will not make me learn how to fell in love with you.", you started to tear up now too, looking away from other direction but Mina heard your sniff, making her feel bad even more to herself.

I know I suffered and traumatized seeing you completely different, claiming me that I'm yours only. I wanted to run away from but... something's inside of me that is not letting me to."

I stayed because... I don't want to disappoint you and I don't want to break your heart, just like what you wanted me to do. Because I don't want to happen again the fault I made way before in the past.... to my parents.", Mina raised her head, looking at you who went completely froze in your position as you started to recall back that tragic night you had when you was a child back then while your tears are staring to fall down in your eyes.

"I'm the reason why they died because of what a failure I am... and it still can't get out of my head. And when you told me that if I leave you, you'd rather just kill yourself than not having me on your side anymore... I can't let it happen the same again.", you looked at her, nothing but care is what you want to emphasize to her.

Now that you're letting me go... how could I do it now if I'm already falling for you, Mina? Call me a masochist, maybe I am... but it's finally here. Atleast I got the wish I wanted to have which made me stay even more."

"What w-wish?"

"A wish to see again the Mina I once knew. This in front of me, yes I am used it to it now... but what you were known to me before will remain unmatched.", you kneeled in front of her who is sitting, holding her knees together. "That's why I may look like I was cold to you sometimes, because I don't want to show all my affection at what I am having right now in front me. I thought it's better if I will do it to the Mina I once knew, not this other side of yours. The one I made friends with... and the one I could've even started to like more.", you sniffed, wiping the tears out of your face by your shirt.

"Can you finally change for me?", you hold both of her hands, looking directly at her eyes.

"I will, Y/N. I- I... don't like this version of myself anymore.", she shook her head slowly. She was staring at you until she finally gave up and do exactly what she missed doing on you: a hug... but a tight one. You accepted it and gently rubbed her back." Oh god- thank you Y/N. Thank you so much. I promise I won't hurt you anymore. I'll do my best to repay-

"Enough with that. You don't need to. Just your pure affection is all I need and I will be satisfied. Okay?", you swept off the tears around her eyes and placed some strands of her hair behind her ear.

" Okay. Thank you again Y/N. I really don't deserve you, you're too kind for me.", you hold her hand even tighter, pressing both of your hands at its top and the palm.

"It's okay, Mina. You deserve me okay? That why I don't want to leave you.", Mina just smiled and after that, you two went for a kiss, finally embracing completely the love you two feel the same for each other.

"Will I still be able to come with you in Japan though?", you asked her after letting go from the kiss.

"You are, I didn't torn the ticket or whatsoever.", you nodded.

"Good, because I can't wait to celebrate our 1st anniversary there and to meet your lovely parents.", you gave her a smile and Mina felt so touched hearing it. She's confident that they will like you though, she knows her parents that much that they doesn't judge a person harshly and she knows that you are a good-hearted person that they will definitely like.

"I'm excited too, Y/N.", and then you kissed her hand before assisting her to stand up again.

"So... uhm, before we prepare to our flight, can I have one more request?", you gulped nervously.

"Hmm?"

"Will you stay being uhm... hehe... dominant?", Mina giggled fast at that, she can't believe you still need asking-or should we say, requesting- this for you.

"I don't know... you're just... uhm.. agh-", you're getting lost at your reasons because you're getting embarassed to say it but Mina made it clear for you instead.

"So you're liking it, huh?", her aura went completely different, now she was smirking at you while stroking her hair to the side, teasing you.

After that she pushed you aside, pinning you to the wall as she locked you in her arms, her face is way too closer to you. You can see that she's definitely enjoying what she's doing to you.

And it made her think that this is much better to do for you instead, so she decided that she will keep this one in her.

"Oh don't worry, baby. That one will never change to me.", she said, caressing the side of your side, feeling the texture of your little hairs and your soft skin. She leaned closer, her head is just right beside your ears.

"You will still submit to your mommy, do you?", she whispered, making you gulp heavily, your heart starts to pump faster, sweat dripping more from your head and your body slightly shaking.

God this dominant Mina is just making you melt because of how hot she is and yes... submit for her. She pulled her head away to you, now she's back looking closely on your face, smirk is still being kept on her face.

"O-only for you, m-mommy.", she giggled and there she gave you again another kiss, she made a sound after releasing her lips on yours.

"Such a good boy for me.", she patted the top of your head and then she starts to go upstairs, with you being her submissive boyfriend following her back to prepare each other's things now for the flight tomorrow.

-🐧-

#twicemina twiceoneshots twice twiceau kpopau twicexreader

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sheviolentlyher · 3 months

Text

unemployed & beautiful

damn happy Monday my love. started the morning out right. ice and no school. yes, puts me in a mood that I don't know what to do with. a good, anxiously happy one.

there are many things to can choose from today. will it be things of my free will or will it be chains and things, like chores and things that I dint want to do that make me feel like a slave--? I don't know what kind of sadistic shit I want to pull out of my head today so I remain idle, and longing for movement.

the winter has got me feeling like a cooped up chicken just laying eggs. so I start looking into planning my anniversary.

hmm. where do you take a man that moves and thinks differently? I thought about painting again, but I wanted something a bit more connecting- escape room. yes- then a steak dinner at one of the best running steakhouses in St. Louis, according to google. I have already made my appointment for my double nipple piercing and every time I think about it, it really sets the tone for me. Im get excited and pushy, I want to fast forward, but we all know deadlines hit you best when you're not looking. so I remain blinded, voluntarily blinded and distracted, id say that im good at that. it is usually when I ignite my creative side, and let go of the need to consume, consume, consume.

Today I feel like I need to be consuming something, but that's not really my style if I'm honest, I love creating, and I love that I get better and better at it every time its put to use. self satisfaction is the most satisfying feeling. things and choices you have made on your own, at your own will, and on your own time. intimate experience with yourself in the creating process. that's real satisfaction. I like that creativity gives you the chance to change the things that you cannot except. There is no reality in creativity, which makes it a main power source of the human mind. Sometimes I think it can take you too far, but then again, art should disturb the comfortable. and we all know how comfortable we can get.

its like when I get comfortable, I get anxious, it is when my mind is the most creative. I don't like being comfortable. if that makes sense mentally. I like pushing myself past the margins of "what is" and run with the idea of "what if", well, because I can.

I am grateful for the stillness amongst my chaos. nestled right underneath the chaos of the real world.

the other day my daughter told me my son said she was going to hell. I said " we are already here" I suppose that is score belief of mine. I think that the only heaven on earth is in fact inside the human mind. it is not a place of glory, it is peace of mind. Dying with peace is heaven. the truth is no one knows, and I love how self righteous humans can be , especially when it comes to religion itself.

what if hell was your memory? and yeah being stuck in your memories is hell. even if the memories were good, it still creates some type of hell. like a mad scientist trying to recreate his most successful expriement and expecting the same results. it just doesn't work like that. I believe that the only way to use memory advantageously is to learn from it and let it go. do not try to repeat things that were once successful to a higher mindset, It will bring you down. Being present to me, means staying in the middle of past and future, but then again I can't help but think we wake up our future selfs everyday, and nothing is ever present. presence only presents itself as the clock face. humans hate time. maybe even time can be hell. who knows.

so today! yes, today. what shall I do? just be? just flow? create? love? conquer?

I swear to god, if I hear anything nor about Taylor swift and how the women energy makes a males performance that much more enhanced-- like any fucking woman didn't know that already-- im gonna fucking puke.

fuck her and her red lip stick. okay okay, I know we aren't suppose to bash other women, but fuck her. lol she dated and used men up for each album and I think that is so genius that I hate her. HA HA

wow how raw today, I laugh at myself and say that is what happens when im anxiously idle. I think. I say. I do. is this impulse? or feelings? are we more impulsive when we are happy or when we are angry? again, impulse keeps the living alive. obviously it has pulse in its name so----- -----

gotta get more dedicated to taking care of myself, instead of killing myself. that's what I want. dedication to self preservation. I think I can manage, im halfway there with some high habits to break, but that doesn't scare me, I know what im capable of, which can work with me at times and can work against me at time, but only if I let it. my weaknesses are real, but fixable, satisfiable, and im really good at self soothing.

for fuck sake. bring on the healing.

auf wiedersehen.

-x

#girl interrupted #diary #unemployed and beautiful #tumblr diary #diaryposting #personal diary #poetic #writeblr #writing #writers and poets #poetry #poetry blog #thoughts into the void

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spillingthethoughts · 1 year

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Sappy Brain Dump

This is a depressing brain dump, Fair warning.

I have hit a slump today. A gray clod has over casted my emotions. Mentally and Physically. It is very gray today. Maybe it is the weather. Maybe since we have has multiple days of rain, cold and gray that my mood has been shifted.

Either way I feel gray. I have emotions of guilt, sadness, missing out, crushed dreams and overall I am tired. I woke up very tired, to where I was questioned this morning if my child had woken up in the middle of the night, because obviously that is what my face was telling people. She slept fine, I might add. I however did not, tossing and turning was what my night consisted of. It’s like it was the beginning stages of a miserable day.

My guilt emotions stem from the fact that my husband spends most of the year working out of town to provide for our little family. This results into him not being able to see his daughter grow up as close as he would like to see. Most of it comes from pictures and face time. It saddens me knowing that he as well has the emotions of depression from it. So I feel guilty at the fact that I do not work. Don’t get me wrong I am eager to find work but things keep getting in the way and leaving me at dead ends.

I feel the emotions of missing out from the most random thought that somehow made its way into my head. I have been married for going on two years now. And I have never actually sat down and let my emotions take control when it comes to how we got married and how I truly feel about it. I guess because we were at a point in our lives that we had to marry for the circumstances that we were in. There really was no time to think. And once we were married life went full speed ahead once the baby came. So today I sit and pounder on the fact that we eloped and went to the justice of the peace. I never got to have the dream wedding that I made countless Pinterest boards for or the dreams that I had as a little girl. And that is hard to take in. I never got to walk the aisle with my dad or have a daddy daughter dance with him. I didn’t even have my parents there at the wedding, hence the elopement part of this rant. It was only my husband and I in that moment with my friend who videoed and took pictures. It was a special moment we shared but it was quick and I feel like lasted only a split second. It didn't help that it was a literal torrential down pour that caused us to almost miss our appointment. I mean come on, we had to make an appointment to get married. Like I get it, that is how it works. But just hearing that in the same sentence with the word marriage, nothing about that is special or romantic. I don’t know. Maybe I am letting my emotions get the best of me. There are just some things that I wish I could change. Or the fact that yes we could still have a wedding but they cost so much money. And we are saving for a house and can’t afford to do that. I figured maybe at our 10 year wedding anniversary we do it, we will see.

On another note, another way that I feel like I am missing out is I also never got engaged to. We went straight to dating to married. We never had the time in our life where we were engaged to each other. I never got a proposal. Which means I never got to see my husband get down on one knee, profess his love for me and then ask me the bug question all of us want to here. This might sound stupid, I know. But it is just something that I will never get the chance to have in my life. And on gray days like this, It makes me sad. I shouldn’t have to apologize for the stupid feelings I have.

I know this is a sappy rant, but I need to get it out, there are some more reasonings behind these emotions but these stand at the front of the line. And after ranting about this I am feeling a lit bit more lighter and not so much weighed down as I was before. So I better stop where I am at to avoid being weighed down again.

Best regards,

A Twenty Something Year Old.

0 notes

aerimomo-mellon · 3 years

Text

Skz as Boyfriends!

Paring~ SKZ x Reader

Genre~ informative lol

A/N~ yep it was requested! Enjoy 친구 <3

warnings? none. (idk mention of bed related things haha)

SKZ M☁List II Main M☁List

시장……..

✿ Bangchan

We all know this guy and you all have read enough of him I think, to know what imma say. (But for special purposes why not..)

This guy is really really serious about relationships and you are probably the one because he just can’t help loving everything about you.

The fact that he is yours even with all the responsibilities and work he has as a leader and idol is a miracle itself. Therefore consider yourself LUCKY to have the most caring and loving man anyone could have.

Dates- He likes movies hence movie nights and date to the theater are often. If not then he likes taking you to a sports event or the beach cause yeah. ( that vibesssssss you know? )

PDA = 3/10 why?, because as mentioned earlier he is responsible for many important things and he doesn’t want to have any misunderstandings about you and dislikes hate in general. That 30% I gave him was because he would only do PDA if really needed.

In Bed things? Umm not often actually but once in a while yes WHILE he would like it I’m sorry I mean LOVE it..

Con? Yep time! Sorry girl but that time you need, it’s hard for him to fulfill every time.

Cute extra info- Doesn’t mention it but secretly likes when you poke his dimple and say he’s cute.

✿ Minho

There are these majority conceptions, as I said majority but not all cause there are stays who know that he is a sweet guy deep deep down.😉

If you’re his s/o he will give every bit of him to you and expects the same for you. I would categorize him as a boyfriend wo acts like a mom lol. It maybe hard to digest that information but trust me this feeling I have from my gut I can say that he is also very caring. Although he might not say things like I will be there whenever you need me or even I miss you, care for you, but he doesn't need to say this anyway. As action speak more than words our Minho is the same.

Dates- He likes to balance it between what you like and what he likes as well. If you are a new couple he straight up asks what you prefer. Plus point he likes to take you to cat café if you like cats too.

PDA = 0.5/10 why? honestly speaking this guy literally hates to express his feelings. That .5 is literally him agreeing that he is yours and that's it. (when someone asks that is)

In Bed things? I personally think it depends on his mood and not yours. Yup. Somedays he wants you a lot and somedays he likes his space. I'm not saying he hates cuddling but more than that on days he is either tired or stressed he likes to keep that little limit to what happens next.

Con? Attention... you would literally take his cats away from him to get his attention.

Cute extra info- likes it when you call him and yourself Appa and Eomma to his cats.

✿ Changbin

Changbin being the puff/ strong guy(sorry that sounded disturbed lol) We all know how babied he likes to be.

Him as a boyfriend is just very natural, I mean from the way he takes you on a fancy date to even putting nail polish on your left hands. Everything is very genuine and he loves it. The Boyfriend to always apologize first.

I find him as someone to take attraction and the next step which is relationship very seriously. ( the person to be very calculative, it can beat Chan honestly..)Knowing that he is afraid to hurt people in any kind of way, to hurt you even as an accident breaks his heart.

Dates- Our Dwaekki loves taking you on dates with loads of food or snacks. A typical Korean restaurant or even food stalls, he loves seeing you eat than to be broken when you might have some kind of sickness due to eating problems.

PDA = 5/10 why? Because he likes your opinion. He is okay with either if you insist on a particular one but slightly leans on less public knowing. Holding hands and probably hugging you wouldn't be a huge problem for him.

In Bed things? he loves it anytime honestly... if he is horney he is getting what he wants and when you are same goes to you.. you'll get what you want..

Cons? Too much aegyo which makes you do things you don’t necessarily want to. (Stay blessed)

Cute extra info- Praise him! (x100) loves it when you say things like " my boyfriend is so strong.." or even " those arms mmm..."

✿ Hyunjin

I mean do I need to say how into he is with this??? Damn this man is the most prepared man a girl could have. The type to know everything about relationships... from trending couple fashion to even special not important but cute couple events..( that he probably found randomly scrolling through google)

He knows your anniversary, birthday, your moms birthday, dads and basically your whole family knows him too. He also keeps track of your monthly cycle too cause he likes being responsible for you..

He is the type to get jealous very easily BUT wont admit it when you ask. Likes to braid your hair while learning from YouTube.. Likes to buy you so many colorful cute hair accessories. (loves your hair..)

Dates- we all know this guy is fancy so he likes fancy dates but he can also be the complete opposite.. Fancy~ maybe to a art restaurant or even on a fancy boat cause why not.. Normally though~ likes to take you to an art museum or at night to take you on the roof for star gazing..

PDA = 2/10 why? I've probably given hints on my fictions with Hyunjin about this in particular. He prefers keeping this in private and that 20% is with his members (barely)

In Bed things? This guy couldn’t be more romantic lol. Loves being prepared for this buys every thing you both need… and yeah loves it.

Cons? He buys Kammi more hair clips than you sorry….

Cute extra info- likes when you get mad when he cut his hair lol. I apologize to all the stays I know he is cute every time but that long hair just hits different….

✿ Jisung

The craziest boyfriend you could have and will only have. You would low key love your relationship with this man I’m telling ya…

You two would have so much fun like toddlers. He is honestly the cutest, funniest, talented etc.. man you get all in one.. ahaha..

Likes to buy you the most stupid things that actually works for a daily living..( that thing he bought to watch on his phone while laying down 😵)

likes to joke around and talk to you a lot.. gurll listen to him he loves it. He likes to value your problems as well so listens to you too.

Dates- likes to watch anime so you two usually have this anime night cuddle sessions but if he were to plan something outside he would prefer to take you to the amusement part lol.

PDA = 8/10 why? honestly he likes showing you off cause he is fond of you. Basically doesn't care what others think... his parents know you, members, friends outside the group, and stays know you exist lol.. 20% i kept for a reason because he doesn't like it when things get out of handle so he wont do anything to the extent..

In bed things? yes he likes it but that turns up into a tickle fight or even a complete cringe but cute moment..

Cons? He might be very sensitive leading to him being upset and you having to apologize...

Cute extra info- loves it when you kiss his cheeks or just play with them in general..

✿ Felix

I had to bring this up at some point lol.. stays probably know the video where he says his clothes are boyfriend material lol...and yes i agree hands down!

A boyfriend material in his own way ahaha.. i mean we all know he loves to be cared for and loved. That Bangchan! spoiled little youngbok.. i personally feel or think two ways. Either he likes being cared for by you or he takes care for you since now he gets to be the older one..

Felix likes speaking in English so if you know English he would speak both languages as well. Likes to give you blowjobs cause he fell in love with you lol..

Dates- Shopping malls, window shopping, UNO on a picnic lol all these are his favs and so are yours .. Personally speaking he likes to take you to places where he can take lots of pictures of you..

PDA = 4/10 why? I don't know haha yup its just a feeling where I'm in between of two opposite thoughts.. I fell like he shows you to his members and family but not more than that.. (Olivia is most likely to love you)

In bed things? Likes being pampered and loves it when you lead.. happens pretty often actually..

Cons? yes! he like being touchy and so do you but he does it too much which beats ya.. and jealous really easily! and he lets you know that..

cute extra info- compliment him on his freckles and he will blush literally a tomato 🍅..

✿ Seungmin

Sweet really sweet.. he is the typical Korean boyfriend you'll get haha even better than that.

He just likes to talk to you or even look at you all day and keep that puppy smile on him.. The type to sing you a song to sleep or whenever you ask him to. likes to hear you sing too.. attempts to make you laugh but ends up, giving up.

He likes kissing your eyes when they are closed.. or when you just fell asleep after the song likes to give your eyes quick pecks..

Dates- He likes walks and that's why you go on evening walks and return when it's dark.. likes holding your hands. He likes grocery shopping with you, takes you to the rooftop to talk about life and its shitty problems.. Basically effortless things that make your relationship happy for what it is.

PDA = 1/10 why? I mean do I need to tell you this? he is like Minho but just a little bit more obvious.. Prefers to express his love when you two are alone..(that's it)

In bed things? umm yes but no.. i mean he gives in to your begs but I feel like Seungmin is just too into cute cuddling and these things are only when he is very desperate ..

Cons? not much but maybe ignoring you when you ask if he can buy you ice Cream for the fifty-sixth time..(but gives in anyway)

Cute extra info- He likes when he sees you in his clothes.. but doesn't say it and acts like he doesn't..

✿ Jeongin

Baby, baby, Baby..... he is our baby boyyyy but his savage ass towards his Hyungs just breaks it all hahaha…

Jk he is actually really cute, caring, sweet and likes to be protective. It may not suit him but yes he likes scolding people if done wrong to you..

You might be older or younger honestly he doesn’t care.. he is very respectful to you either way. He loves you and is very shy too which you find cute.

Dates- Asks you for your opinion or his Hyungs. He still is very inexperienced so he doesn’t know but sometimes likes it when you two spend time on the swings of some random park with fruit juice 🧃..

PDA = 0/10 why? Cause no no no no not even to his members haha he is just too shy and likes to keep his relationship in its own boundaries.

In bed things? Nope please! I’m sorry stays but I just can’t with Jeongin… (no further details he is just so precious to me)

Cons? He understands very late.. like you trying to say you want to cuddle, kiss etc.. without words he won’t get it. Just fucking be straight forward with our baby.

Cute extra info- honestly everything is cute about him so I can’t fit it here sorry… stays use your imagination here…

끝…

#skz bang chan #skz leeknow #skz minho #skz changbin #skz hyunjin #skz jisung #skz felix #skz seungmin #skz jeongin #skz headcanons #skz x reader #skz imagines #skz fanfic #skz as boyfriends #skz fluff #skz angst

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lokiskitten · 3 years

Note

could you please do one where the reader seduces him at a public place / dinner , and leaves him really frustrated and turned on , and he can't even react , but the reader gets it back once they get home

Tom Hiddleston | public teasing

Tom Hiddleston x fem!reader

plot : for your first year anniversary, Tom decided to take you out on a romantic date. However, you find a way to distract your mind from the presence of the paparazzis by physically teasing your boyfriend. Once the two of you get home, the man is finally able to teach you a lesson.

warnings : verbal teasing, public teasing, smut, dirty talking, light bondage, spanking, unprotected sex.

Today marked the one year anniversary of both you and your lovely boyfriend Tom. You absolutely adored him, especially as he constantly filled you with happiness no matter his busy schedule. Through filming and attending set, Tom always made sure to shoot you a few texts in order to reassure your anxiety and to make sure that you knew how much he loved you. His fame tended to disturb you at first, but time had allowed you to get used to the intrusive media and paparazzis. Besides, Tom always made sure to keep you out of the spotlights as much as he could.

But tonight, another priority turned out to be more important than avoiding the press. Your boyfriend had decided to take you out for dinner to a fancy restaurant, making sure that everything would be perfect for you to enjoy. You felt excited indeed, but anxiety still bubbled in your stomach due to the constant fear of being photographed against your will.

Sitting down at the fancy table, your elbows rested against the edge of the table whilst your palms anxiously rubbed against one another. Your orbs scanned the candle which stood between you and your boyfriend, this romantic detail truly dipping you into the mood for some extra wine. Tom was going on with his meal, cutting his steak with the help of his fork and knife whilst you found yourself lost in your thoughts. Quickly enough, the grown man noticed how dizzy you looked and couldn’t help but put his stencils down.

“Hey, sweetheart?” He asked before passing his napkin against his lips. Your eyes diverted up towards him, eyebrow raising slightly whilst your hand reached out for your glass of wine. “What would you think about going to the park tomorrow? I heard there’s gonna be lovely weather.” Tom stated, sincerely doubting that this stupid statement would change anything to your anxious mindset. His large hand reached out for yours, thumb rubbing against the back of your hand in order to bring warmth to ease your physical distress.

You simply shrugged though allowed Tom’s hand to take yours, finding comfort in his touch. “I’m sorry.. this was supposed to be a lovely night. I just feel anxious.” You explained, putting your glass down before pulling your hand away in order to grab your own stencils. You finally began to eat, enjoying how nice this food tasted which wasn’t surprising seeing how fancy and elegant this place was. “I understand. But hey, it’s just us right now.” Tom affirmed confidently before going back to eating his meal just like you were doing.

Upon hearing this sentence, your eyes looked up at his focused facial features as mischievous thoughts built up in your mind. At least, it helped you think about something else than the potential presence of the paparazzis. “Just us?..” you asked on an innocent tone whilst your foot gently started to brush against his clothed ankle. Feeling the unexpected sensation against his leg, Tom looked up at you with rather confused eyes. Though this didn’t stop you, in contrary, it only enhanced your inner mischief.

Progressively, your foot moved up to his inner thigh before starting to press against his crotch, gently massaging his prominent bulge as if the two of you were sitting in your living room. Tom immediately reached underneath the table, taking ahold of your ankle in order to put to an end your teasing mannerisms. He looked to his left and then to his right, a happy grin now appearing onto your face upon seeing the distress of your boyfriend. Tom then settled his eyes on you as his large hand squeezed your ankle as a way of begging you to stop this evil action.

“What are you doing?” He whispered whilst leaning in gently, serious eyes staring into your soul. You giggled, biting down onto your tongue in order to stop yourself from laughing too loudly and avoid to attract attention on the two of you. Tom noticed that you were in a playful mood, a smirk now appearing onto his face as he decided to give in your little game and allow you to believe that you had won. Noticing this detail you agreed to pull your foot away, delicately resting it back onto the floor before taking a sip of your beverage.

[ ... ]

About a hour later, the two of you had now arrived back home, a yawn escaping your open mouth as you allowed your keys to fall down into the pot which was in the entrance of the apartment. “Jesus.. I feel absolutely exhausted. I’m so full.” You affirmed tiredly before stretching your arms whilst Tom hung his jacket onto the coat hanger. However, before you could even reach for the living room, you found yourself being suddenly pushed against the wall by none but your beloved boyfriend.

A giggle escaped your lips as your brain understood what this was all about, Tom’s stern look being enough to make you understand that he was now getting revenge for what you had previously done back at the restaurant. Guttural groans echoed behind his closed lips, blue eyes scanning your body as his head titled hungrily. You continued to playfully giggle, arms attempting to move up to his shoulders though without ever succeeding due to his own arms being in the way. This was a game the two of you had progressively developed throughout your relationship, a personal kink you both enjoyed to involve during intercourses.

“You deserve proper punishment.” Tom affirmed as his blue eyes finally looked up at yours, his facial features remaining strict. You knew that your part of the job was to refrain from putting up an attitude nor laughing, yet you couldn’t help but smile due to your playful mood which was progressively taking over your body and senses. Taking ahold of your arm, the man dragged you all the way up to the bedroom in a hurry, closing the door behind the two of you for extra privacy even though no one else stood in this shared apparement of yours. When Tom set you free, you stepped back towards the bed as you watched your boyfriend tear open his fancy shirt.

The buttons fell onto the floor, though Tom didn’t truly care as he knew that he had a bunch of other shirts waiting for him in his closet. You bit down onto your bottom lip, head tilting in a teasing manner as you waited for the grown man to finally give you the punishment you deserved. Approaching your silhouette, his hands pushed you down onto the bed before he took the initiative to remove his belt. Not once did you flinch, being fully aware that your boyfriend would never do anything to hurt you and that not even unintentionally. Tom took ahold of your ankles and dragged you close to his body and immediate reach, using the leather product in order to lock your hands together for good.

With you being at his mercy, a mischievous smirk now appeared onto Tom’s face as he looked down at you. “Look at you now...” he began, head tilting in awe. “Not so fierce anymore, huh? Do you still feel like teasing me?” The man questioned, earning nothing from you but a simple smile. He squinted his eyes, brain thinking about all the things he wanted to do to you. Meanwhile, his veiny hand brushed against your elevated knee, sending chills down your spine. Both of his hands suddenly reached down for your shirt, tearing it apart with the help of his natural strength he had previously used to reap open his own upper piece of clothing.

You yelped, chest now exposed to him as warmth started to build up in your needy crotch. You wanted him; you absolutely needed him. “My sweet girl.” He affirmed before flipping you around onto your stomach. Your bum was now exposed to him, his hand reaching down for your hips which he gripped in order to pull your ass upwards. This position felt uncomfortable, but you remained patient as you knew how good it would turn out to feel once your boyfriend would finally be rocking his hips against yours. “I’ll teach you what it costs to tease me in public.” Tom promised as his hand caressed and made its way up your back.

“Do the loki voice-!” You began only to be brutally interrupted by the sensation of Tom’s hand squeezing the back of your head. “No talking.” He ordered, the familiar mischievous tone answering your demand which caused a smirk to appear on your face. This specific tone was something thousands of girls dreamt to be submitted to, yet only you was able to enjoy it live and stereo. Besides, Tom secretly enjoyed it too. You giggled, allowing your boyfriend to carry on with his own plans which you would gladly accept to submit to.

Finally, Tom took the initiative to pull your pants and underwear down to your mid thighs, exposing your wet cunt to his sight and the lustful air which filled the room. You moaned, betraying the fact that you were indeed enjoying this little session of pure revenge. Again, Tom chuckled darkly. His fingers moved down to your moist entrance, gently rubbing up and down your slit in order to properly spray the wetness around before starting to focus onto your clit. He teased it for a couple of seconds, rubbing circles against the hard bud which was meant to hide underneath its protective hood.

You moaned, head tilting back slightly before Tom decided to pull his fingers away from your core. Pouting sadly face to this disappointment, your head turned to the side in a desperate attempt to see what the man was now doing. Unfortunately, this gesture didn’t turn out to be any successful. He was now working on removing his own pants, allowing the piece of clothing to fall down to his ankles as his hardening cock was set free. His tip brushed against your wet slit, his warmth mixing with yours as pants started to escape his parted lips.

“Tommy..” you whimpered submissively, earning a harsh spank against your naked bum for stepping past his main rule. He shushed you, his thumb and index finger taking a gentle hold of his shaft in order to properly guide it into your wetness. Spreading your swollen lips with the help of his other hand, Tom managed to ease himself inside of you rather easily, the sensation of his hardness sliding inside of your core causing you the moan out of relief. You probably wouldn’t have been able to handle waiting any longer.

“Ahh-.. such a dirty girl.” He praised, hands now moving away from both of your respective genitals in order to take a firm hold of your hips. Tom was soon to reach balls deep, brushing past most of your sensitive spots and causing your legs to tremble gently. He felt indulgent enough to offer you a couple of seconds to adjust to his size- even though you’ve felt it plenty of times by now, which he was aware of. The thrusting process was soon to occur, gaining in confidence and harshness as seconds passed by.

Tom winced and moaned lustfully, still holding onto your hips as if his life depended on it. You added up to the melody by allowing your own moans to escape your lips, enjoying the way his tip repetitively rubbed against your g-spot and hit your cervix. Your joint hands gripped onto the bedsheets, eyelids shutting close so that your brain would be fully able to enjoy what was going on and building up in your lower abdomen. “Fuck- your going to make me cum sooner than...” Tom stated through his winces, abs contracted as he continued to thrust in and out of you.

Before the two of you could know it, Tom’s shaft throbbed and clenched, semen spraying out of his urethra and landing against your pulsating cervix. You moaned in awe, Tom towering over your body as his hands now fell beside your head. His digits clenched against the bedsheets, guttural moans escaping his shaky lips as he didn’t refrain from ejaculating all of his sperm inside of your stretched wetness. Your bum moved up against his hips, enhancing the intense contact whilst your boyfriend took time to properly wash his orgasm away.

Once he was finally done coming inside of you, the older man pulled out and allowed his tired body to fall down onto the bed besides your recovering self. The two of you panted, your body relaxing against the bed sheets as it was now your mind’s turn to recover from this intense intercourse.

I hope you guys enjoyed this! Feel free to leave a request. ❤️

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azucanela · 4 years

Note

bakugou/todoroki reacting to their s.o. who usually wears long sleeves and pants wearing a casual dress? please feel free to include anyone else! also if it's ok can you add a bit of spice or smth 👉👈

REACTING TO S/O WEARING A DRESS HEADCANNONS + SCENARIOS

[ft. bakugou katsuki, shinsou hitoshi, todoroki shoto]

SUMMARY: for the first time, the boys witness you in a dress and... it ends pretty well for you.

WORD COUNT: 2.7k

WARNINGS: make out session, kissing, insecurities, SPICE, implications

A/N: THANK YOU FOR REQUESTING THIS IT MAKES ME HAPPY TO WRITE IT <3 also this is as unholy as it gets [for now] a lil spicy hehe, just a tad

BAKUGO KATSUKI

OKAY SO

he’s taken you on dates, and normally you wear jeans and a t-shirt, and he’s fine with it, he doesn’t care, your clothes your business, you wear what you want and look good no matter what it is. sweats? hot. sweatshirt? hot.

dress? probably hot, he hasn’t seen you in one yet.

UNTIL NOWWWW

it’s getting warmer, and pants are for losers, so naturally, you wear a pretty lil sundress for your upcoming date with bakugo

he comes to get you in your dorm room, and you text him that the doors unlocked and he’s like AIGHT BET

not the type to knock before entering, but you have thankfully already been dressed and as he enters he realizes that his hypothesis was in fact correct

you are very hot in a dress

very pretty

beautiful

he’s confused though, like since when is this a thing, why are you being so casual about it? did he forget something important? when was your anniversary?

“what the hell?”

you’re like ??? because nothing has changed

so he’s like “you’re.. in a dress.”

“OH,,, haha... yeah.”

now he’s made you insecure, you suck katsuki

once he passes the confusion he is checking you out, your thighs are exposed, and so are your arms, so he’s a lil distracted and doesn’t realize he’s distressed you

when he finally comes to he goes to compliment you, “you look-”

“bad? i should change-”

“NO.” he shouts, and it is a little too quickly and aggressive, so his cheeks flush at this outburst, “you look pretty.”

then he realizes he was too nice, “idiot.

you smile at him, and move to the door, only for him to kick it closed

you’re like ???

he’s like

Katsuki tries to avoid the looks he gets from the rest of his classmates as he makes his way to Y/N’s dorm room, hands shoved into his pockets as he walks. They had a movie to get to, and Katsuki wanted to make sure they had time to get snacks before the movie started, so he intended to begin rushing her. Removing one of his hands from his pocket, he turns Y/N’s door knob, shoving the door open.

He pushes it slightly behind him, but not enough that it closes since he doesn’t intend to be here long, Katsuki looks up and turns to her, “oh hey Katsuki.”

She’s putting some things in her purse, which is on her bed, so she’s slightly bent over as she shoves some cash inside it. Meanwhile, Katsuki can’t help the astonishment that washes over his features as eyes her. “What the hell?” He can’t help but exclaim at the sight before him. This was the most skin he’d seen since... since ever.

Not that he was complaining.

Y/N’s brows furrowed at his comment, standing up and bringing her purse onto her shoulder she looked at him and tilted her head in confusion. “Excuse me?”

Katsuki opened and closed his mouth once or twice, trying to find words as he let out a noise of frustration, gesturing to her, “you’re wearing a dress!” Exasperation clear in his tone, confused as to how she hadn’t seen this as an abnormality. Had he forgotten something? An anniversary perhaps?

Y/N, on the other hand, felt her cheeks warm at this. It hadn’t really crossed her mind that she didn’t wear dresses often, much less clothing that revealed her skin, which was littered with scars from the training and all the incidents there had been in the school year thus far. She couldn’t help the thought that rushed through her minds as she responded rather lamely, “yeah. I am.”

Katuski collected himself, “well, you look-”

“Bad? I should change-” Y/N began, preparing to go to her closet to find another outfit.

Only for Katsuki to call out, “NO!” His cheeks flushing red as he realized how ridiculous his outburst must look, Katsuki looked away. “You look nice... idiot.”

Y/N beamed at him, moving towards him and the partially open door that he stood by, she grasped his hand, “let’s go then!”

As she brought her hand to the knob, she was yanked back by Katsuki, who released her hand when she was close enough pulled her to his chest, pressing his lips to hers. Y/N’s free hand came up to hold his jaw, while his hands dug into her hips as he kicked the door behind him closed before shoving Y/N onto it.

Gasping at the sudden movement, her other hand came to his hair and tugged harshly on it. In response, Katsuki released her lips and brought his mouth to her neck, one of his hands coming to the bare skin of her thigh and pulling it up to hold against himself. Pressing open mouthed kisses onto her neck, Y/N let her head fall back onto the door, giving him better access.

Exhaling deeply, Y/N spoke, “Katsuki we’re gonna be late.” As much as she wanted to disregard the movie, they’d already paid for their tickets, and she wasn’t in the mood to waste money.

In response, he bit down on her neck, causing her grip on his hair to tighten before he looked back up at her, swollen lips baring a cocky grin, “I don’t mind being late, babe.”

SHINSOU HITOSHI

he’s so cute ugh

anyways, i feel like his range in terms of style is trash bag or finest man in the room so he doesn’t care how you dress and if you switch it up on occasion

this does not make him immune to the S H O C K

anyways

you’re going out with friends, but he doesn’t know this so he comes over

you open the door for him like ? but then a light bulb goes off in your head like yes! your bf! he can help! surely!

so you let him in and now he is in shock

like wow you are always hot but WOW

dresses 4 life in shinsou’s book

AND THEN YOU TURN AROUND AND HE CAN SEE SO MUCH SKIN BECAUSE YOU NEED HELP WITH THE ZIPPER AND-

rip shinsou 2020

he’s dead

look what you did

who gonna help you with that zipper now huh

very respectful gentleman though

he looks RESPECTFULLY and TOUCHES respectfully

and he really wants to touch

“HOW CAN HE BE SO HOTTT AND RESPECTFUL” tik tok audio

helps you with your zipper tho

because he is a good boy

but you lowkey noticed his change in attitude and well...

hahaha....

Shinsou was bored, so naturally, he was going to visit his lovely girlfriend at her dorm. It was odd, not receiving the cruel glares from his fellow students for his so called ‘villainous’ quirk. Then again, his girlfriend was the most powerful student in her dorm, and the people there either already liked him, or were forced to get over themselves when the two had started dating.

Nobody wanted to face the wrath of Y/N L/N.

He made his way to your door, smiling briefly at those he passed, a small wave to one student he knew particularly well. Shinsou knocked at the door, and the sound of shuffling came from inside, before the door peeked open slightly to reveal Y/N’s head, a smile making its way onto her face as she saw Shinsou.

“Oh, Shinsou! Perfect, come in and help me.” Cute.

His brows furrowed in confusion as he looked at her, and a small laugh left him, “alright.” Y/N. was sure to hide her body behind the door as she let him in, only increasing his confusion as he entered and she closed the door behind her. “Babe, what are you doing?”

When she closed the door, he finally got a full view of her body and realized she was wearing a dress. Shinsou couldn’t help the moment of shock he had as he looked her up in down. “You look beautiful.” He commented, coughing as he averted his eyes. He was looking, respectfully until his eyes trailed a little too low and-

“Would you mind zipping me up?” Y/N asked, turning around, exposing her naked back to him, save for the clasp of her bra.

Oh god you were trying to kill him.

Inhaling sharply, he nodded, “yeah, yeah, sure.” He replied. Moving closer, he brought his hands to her hips, allowing them to linger momentarily. He tilted his head as he noticed a scar running up her back, and couldn’t help but trace it upwards. Y/N felt her cheeks warm at this action, a shiver running up her spine being all it took for Shinsou to break contact entirely, “sorry.” He mumbled, embarrassed, his hand coming to the zipper and pulling it upwards.

She simply shook her head, turning around to face him, his cheeks burning red. “It’s fine.” Y/N brought her hand under his jaw and pulled him into a kiss, her other hand going to his arm.

Shinsou hummed into the kiss, allowing his hands to trail up his back once more, he finds himself regretting that he helped her zip of the dress as he presses her closer to him.

Y/N pulls away momentarily, much to Shinsou’s dismay, before pressing another peck to his lips and shoving him backwards. The backs of his knees hitting her bed frame, causing him to fall into a seat on the bed. Shinsou raises a brow, watching her figure come between his now spread legs and tilt his head up to bring him into another kiss.

His eyes flutter close as he finds his hands gripping her thighs, pulling onto himself before the other followed, allowing Y/N to straddle him, “what’cha doing, kitten?” He mumbled against her lips. She released his lips only to bring her own to his neck, as his hands hands went under her dress and up her thighs until-

“I have to go meet my friends.” She mumbled into his neck, exhaling deeply.

Shinsou groaned in annoyance, falling backwards onto her bed, “tease.” He grumbled under his breath, looking to her as she slipped off of him and amended her appearance, he couldn’t help but smile. “Have fun.”

TODOROKI SHOUTO

SO CUTE I LOVE HIM MARRY ME

ahem anyways.

shoto always looks nice, its in his nature and how he was raised, so he could be the wearing the best fit in the room and you could be wearing sweats but he really does not care

he doesn’t really notice what you wear tbh, you’re pretty to him no matter what so

bb boy is just sitting at the bench, you two had agreed to meet up at the mall, and he intended to SPOIL you, per usual, not that you knew this

you did not approve of his spending habits

you are his spending habits

he’s on his phone, preparing to text you, and he sees a figure appear in front of him, white dress with flowers on it is all thats in his vision

he’s about to be like stranger danger what do you need until he looks up and sees

GASP its you!

and you look MIGHTY FINE

you always look mighty fine, no matter what you wear, but the fact that this was something new made it even better. shoto didn’t particularly care what you wore but WOW

he kinda just cannot speak, like his mouth gapes open, you have left him speechless, good job

he’s definitely eyeing you, and he isn’t very subtle but you look so GOOD like what the hell who allowed this

insert anime nosebleed from todoroki

you are going off on a tangent about bees or smth idk and he’s like not paying attention your words but he certainly is paying attention to how nice the upper half of your body is looking rn

iykyk

he does not understand the feeling he is having but he does understand he really really really wants to kiss you

several times

and he wants to touch

you are there like “shoto???”

and hes like yes, anything for you my sweet love, what do you need

“yes love?”

ugh shoto and petnames just

a simp

anyways you guys go to the mall and he’s holding you closer than normal, and even if todo is an oblivious bb, if he happens to come across someone look at you the way only he can look at you?

its over lol burn down the mall

what was SUPPOSED a lil intimate lunchtime behind the mall in a more empty area turns into spicy todo

Sighing as he shifted on the bench, phone in hand as he prepared to text his fashionably late girlfriend, Shoto realized someone was approaching him, a white dress spotted with pink flowers filled his vision and his brows furrowed. Shoto opened his mouth to speak to the stranger, looking up only to realize it was no stranger.

It was his fashionably late girlfriend.

Shoto couldn’t help but straighten his back at the sight of her, mouth gaping open as he eyed her appearance. This was... abnormal. He rarely took note of her outfits, however he’d never seen so much bare skin, that much he knew.

Y/N simply pressed a kiss to his cheek, as though nothing was amiss, she began to speak of the difficulty she experienced on the way to the mall. Shoto failed to pay attention though, his eyes lingering on her upper body as he nodded along in the midst of his shock.

“Anyways, would you mind if we ate first?” The breeze blew her hair slightly, and Y/N basked in the sun, “maybe we could eat outside.” She suggested.

Snapping out of his trance, Shoto nodded rapidly, “of course, love.”

Y/N beamed at him, extending a hand for him, which he accepted, pressing a kiss to it before sitting up.

This was also... abnormal. Shoto never deprived her of affection, but in public it was rare for him to kiss her and he just- Y/N tried to shake herself of these thoughts, but couldn’t help the warmth that she felt spread across her cheeks as they began to head inside the mall. When they made it to the food court Y/N selected a soba place, bringing a smile onto Shoto’s face, though when she tried to pay, Shoto had already been tipping the person at the cashier $100.

As Y/N had previously suggested, the two made their way outside, and as Shoto suggested, they found a more desolate space to enjoy their food. They had ended up behind the mall in a small, unbothered, field. He’d stopped by a store to purchase and blanket, and Y/N couldn’t help but get excited at the concept of a makeshift picnic. The pair sat down on the blanket, placing the bag of food down.

Shoto couldn’t help the smile that found its way onto his face as he looked at her, “you look beautiful.” He complimented, crossing his legs.

Y/N beamed up at him, “thank you, Shoto.” She leaned forwards, on her hands and knees as she pressed a kiss onto his lips. Shoto pulls away momentarily, only for his hands to find their way onto her face, deepening the kiss.

Pulling away, Y/N raises a brow, “you’re awfully affectionate today.” She points out, moving to sit down closer to him as she brings a hand to play with his hair.

“Well, I want to touch you.” Comes his response, and in that moment Y/N contemplates cursing Shoto out for his bluntness, though she’s distracted when one of his hands comes to her thigh, “may I?”

Oh god.

Y/N nods, enjoying this side of Shoto as he brings his other hand under her other thigh, pulling her into his lap before pressing another kiss to her lips. Shoto sighs contentedly at this, and Y/N’s hand remains in his hair, tugging gently at the bicolored locks. Meanwhile, his hands wander her body in wonder as he breaks the kiss to place his lips on her neck. Y/N can’t help but lean her neck further back.

“Happy?” She mumbled as he pressed a kiss to her collarbone.

Shoto looks up at her to respond, “very.”

A/N: this is my favorite thing it was literally so fun to write omg

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fairyoftbz · 3 years

Text

insecurities | l. juyeon

🧸 pairing: idol!juyeon x (insecure) fem!reader 🧸 word count: 2.7k 🧸 genre: angst, fluffy end 🧸 tw: mentions of insecurities, doubts 🧸 a/n: sorry i forgot to post, i had a busy day and im exhausted, i hope it's gonna be enough! 🧸 requested: yes! thank you, it is very cliché but i hope this is what you had in mind! 💝

╰☆☆☆☆╮

Juyeon came home tired but happy, excited to see you again after a long day of intense practice and a show where he participated as an MC. You, on the other hand, were not as happy as he was, but you were for sure tired of something.

You couldn’t deny it, dating Juyeon had positive points, he was everything you could ask for in a man, but there were just as many negative points. He was an attractive, sweet gentleman, and it was almost impossible for him not to attract other girls, not even doing it on purpose. And it was one of your many insecurities even if you considered yourself pretty, you couldn’t help but get insecure every time he talked to someone else.

Because let’s be honest, in the Korean music industry, every single woman looks like an absolute goddess. So, when he interacts with someone, and they’re a bit too friendly, your heart pinches in pain as he gives them the smile he keeps for you and you only.

You think that they are more interesting, prettier and funnier than you, which has the ability to send your thoughts to the dark side of self-consciousness, not feeling pretty or enough next to those women. And tonight, it was hard to watch on National TV your boyfriend being extremely friendly with the other MC.

You had tried to comfort yourself that it was just a mask, that he had to look friendly and handsome on TV. However, you couldn’t help feeling disappointment and anger as he gave attentive eyes to the other MC as she explained something, his eyes falling on her lips pressed against the mic.

Juyeon walks through the main door, tossing his keys on the chest of drawers, getting rid of his jacket and shoes before joining you in the living room, happy to see that you were watching the same channel he appeared on. Eyes glued on the screen, your thumb rubbed against your lips, feeling the skin of the cuticles you scratched while watching your boyfriend feeling rough against your lips.

“Hi love,” he said as he sat next to you, pressing his lips on your cheek. You didn’t react, only emitting a slight hum as he sat comfortably.

Juyeon frowned but didn’t raise your bad mood, trying to think what was going on inside your head. Maybe you had a bad day, or you were just tired, despite scratching his head and think, he couldn’t pinpoint what had brought you in such a bad mood.

“Did you have fun?” you bitterly spat, and Juyeon’s eyes widened, surprised by your tone, the wrinkle on his forehead deepening as his brows furrowed at your attitude.

“I did. Are you mad or something?” he bluntly asked, and you sighed, taking the remote to turn the TV off, falling in an unpleasant, uncomfortable silence.

“Oh no, I’m super fine. I really enjoyed my boyfriend giving heart eyes to another girl on national TV, it was such a nice thing to watch,” you bitterly chuckled, and Juyeon’s eyes widened even more, not expecting you to pull out the jealousy card on that.

“Babe, what are you talking about? You know-”

“Please, spare me your fake confusion and lame excuses, I clearly saw what I saw. My eyes never deceive me,” you said while standing up, but Juyeon was quick to imitate you and grab your wrist to prevent you from walking away. You tried to free yourself from his grip, but he only tightened his hand around it.

“Juyeon, let me go,” you said through clenched teeth, trying to prevent the tears from escaping your eyes. Breaking down was the last thing you wanted to do in this situation.

“Not before you explain to me what this fuss is all about,” he said, irritation replacing confusion in his eyes. You let out a mocking scoff, your eyes filled with anger and disdain boring into your boyfriend’s, holding eye contact for a few seconds.

“You really think I’m this dumb? I clearly saw the eyes you gave to the other MC when you were both animating the show. Cracking jokes, giving her smiles that could outshine the sun, your eyes ogling her lips when she was talking or smiling. Did you really think I wouldn’t catch that?” you raised your voice, letting anger take over your body.

“I never did all of that, I don’t know what you are insinuating,” he spat, trying not to show it, but your words hurt him, hating the fact that you could imagine him cheat on you or fancy another girl.

“Go on social media then, you will see what I am ‘insinuating’! Everyone is already talking about how whipped you are and how cute of a couple you would look together. Some fans are even starting to make edits!” you shouted, shoving your phone in your hoodie’s front pocket.

Juyeon sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose to calm his nerves a bit, a gesture that had the ability to enrage you even more. Your family used to do that when they found you annoying or wanted to belittle you, and now seeing Juyeon doing the exact same thing as them really made you even more insecure about this whole situation. Your family made you feel like a real burden during your childhood and teen years that it hurt you to think that Juyeon was probably agreeing with that thought right now.

“Y/N, I don’t know what you are talking about. I was just trying to be nice, I can’t be rude or it’s mine and the group’s reputation that I’ll take down with me-”

“No it’s okay, no need to explain yourself, the message was very clear,” you said, and you finally freed yourself from his grip, your heart breaking as Juyeon sighed in annoyance again, seeing him almost roll his eyes.

“It’s not what I meant, and you know it. Don’t react like that, please,” he started, but you waved your hand in front of you.

“No, no, I got it, you-”

“Y/N, for the love of God, stop being so fucking insecure, it’s getting so fucking annoying at this point! I can’t do anything without you getting fucking doubtful, start having faith in me and in this relationship, dammit!” your eyes widened as Juyeon eventually snapped, his mouth slowly closing as he stared at you, realisation hitting him that his words and tone made a lot of damage once he saw the tears gather in your eyes and roll down your cheeks.

The couch separated the two of you, creating the illusion of a painful wall that made you shiver, feeling like your apartment had lost all of its warmth on the spur of the moment. His words were brutal, and they bounced around your skull, your head turning towards the corridor to swallow the lump forming in your throat, trying not to break down in front of him.

“Y/N, I’m-”

“Leave me alone,” you replied, voice wavering as you walked out of the living room, slamming the bedroom door shut before locking it.

Juyeon sighed and carded his hands through his dark locks, closing his eyes as he thought of the words that had escaped his mouth too quickly. He cursed under his breath as the living room fell into a deafening silence, his hands linked at the back of his neck as he thought of what just happened.

“Why did I say that,” he muttered under his breath and collapsed on the couch, unlocking his phone and scrolling on social media to try and momentarily forget your beautiful face painted with a hurtful expression because of him, but it was to no avail.

He saw what you saw; the fiction, the edits, the collages, he saw and read everything. He already hated seeing you cry and being hurt, but he actually loathed himself for being such an idiot and not comfort you about the whole situation with what was happening on every social platform.

His heart shattered in millions of pieces as he pictured you crying in your shared bed, holding the stuffed animal he got you for your anniversary tight against your chest, letting you drown in your insecurities and intrusive thoughts. He loved you very much, but despite him trying to remind you every single day, your intrusive thoughts always managed to get the upper hand when you found yourself hanging out on your own or with some friends. It was as if your brain shut out everyone who tried to reassure you or make you feel better, letting you drown and struggle in your sorrow.

Yes, the other idols were pretty, but they were nothing compared to you. Juyeon had only eyes for you and cared about you and, of course, his members, but never had he thought about leaving you for someone else. His intentions were just to sound and appear nice and welcoming on TV because he knew that some fans, antis and media wouldn’t hesitate a second to bash him on different platforms and articles for his rudeness and insensitivity towards his idol colleague. And not only would he break his reputation, but also the group’s, and that’s the last thing he wanted.

However, he also understood that it was something hard to watch for you, even if he reminded you every single day that you were the only one that mattered in his eyes.

Sitting on the couch, he started reflecting, putting himself in your shoes for a second. How would he have reacted if he saw you being super friendly and affectionate to another man? Someone more handsome, nicer than him, cracking jokes here and there to see you smile and laugh.

He tossed his phone on the couch space next to him, where he wished you were instead of crying yourself in your shared bed, watching the device bounce, collide with the armrest and fall on the ground. He didn’t even fret checking if the screen cracked, head too high in his thoughts to bother.

Resting his elbows on his knees, he pressed his joined hands against his mouth, tongue poking his inner cheek as he realised he had really messed everything up. His knee started bouncing at the disgusting thought of losing you, perfectly knowing that he had to do something before you could slip through his hand like grains of sand.

Juyeon stood up and knocked on the bedroom door, softly calling for your name.

“Y/N?” he asked, and you didn’t respond, faintly hearing you cry on the other side of the wall. “Go away, please,” your strained voice barely making it to his ears, his fingers drumming against the surface of the door in frustration.

From your side of the bed, still holding that teddy bear close to your chest, you let your tears damp the top of its head, feeling the exhaustion of crying kicking in. Juyeon didn’t knock another time, trying not to push your buttons too much to save his chances to talk to you.

You heard a small thud on the lower part of the door, frowning as you wondered what it was. Deep breathings filled in the silence lingering in the corridor, selfishly feeling a bit relieved that you weren’t the only one hurt in this situation. Juyeon was a smart, tolerant man, he knew when to put his pride aside and not blame you for something you said or did. Well, it’s not the case for this time, and it’s probably exhaustion that spoke for him, and that, of course, doesn’t excuse anything, but he wanted to apologise and make up for everything.

“I know you probably don’t want to see me or hear my voice after what I’ve told you, but I really want to apologise for what I’ve said,” you held your breath to hear his faint, low voice on the other side of the door. You sat up and felt dizzy for a quick second, still holding the teddy bear against your chest, your face buried in its head as you let the tears keep rolling on your cheeks.

“I know it’s hard to date me, and I’m really sorry, I wish we had a simpler life, where we could hang out and go on dates like two normal people. It’s also hard for me to not be the type of boyfriend everyone wishes to have, but I’m so damn grateful to call you mine.” Juyeon marked a pause and ruffled his hair, pushing the front pieces away from his hair while thinking of his following words.

“I… you don’t know how much I’m sorry for using your insecurities against you. I shouldn’t have, it was the dumbest move I could ever do, but I just didn’t know what to answer. You are so pretty, so beautiful, amazing, and absolutely wonderful to have around to me, so seeing you this insecure makes me mad every time you compare yourself to someone you think looks prettier, thinner, or more perfect than you. It’s... really frustrating because I try my best to make you feel like a goddess and worth it every day, but those unrealistic society standards and god damn social media make you feel like you are not worth an ounce of love,” he took in a big breath and raised his knees upwards, letting his forearms rest on them.

You slowly opened the door behind him and dropped the teddy bear by his side, letting him know of your presence. He was quick to notice it and turn around to hug your legs tightly, your hands finding their way in his hair and started massaging his skull.

“I’m so sorry, Ju,” you faintly whispered, and he breathed in deeply against your skin as if he finally found you again after being separated from you for years.

He grabbed your cherished stuffed animal and stood up, holding it against your chest with a tender smile. He sat you down on the bed and gave you a proper hug, mouth pressing loving kisses on your forehead and temple as his hand caressed the back of your head, holding you as close to him as possible.

“I’m so sorry Y/N, I really am. I love you so, so much, I’m really sorry for all the stupid words I’ve thrown at you,” he said, and you shook your head, squeezing your arms around his middle tightly as an answer.

“I guess I have to accept that you have eyes only for me. But you know, it’s hard to acknowledge it and believe it when you find everyone around you ten times more beautiful than you are,” you mumbled against his chest as you sat on his lap, and he nodded, feeling a lump rising in his throat.

“I know Y/N, I know. I wish I could rid you of those insecurities, my heart breaks each time I see you so unsure of yourself. You're just so beautiful and amazing, it honestly kills me to see you like this,” he whispered, and you bitterly chuckled, gently pulling away to look at him with pearly eyes, his arms around you holding you still tight, making sure that you wouldn’t go too far from him.

“You can’t do that, but maybe you can help me soothe them by keeping loving me the way you’ve done since day one,” you mumbled, and he smiled, his eyes shining with tears just like yours.

You both cupped each other’s face and sadly smiled at the other, Juyeon feeling comforted at the sensation of your thumbs wiping the tears away from his cheeks and vice versa.

“We just need time, love, but I promise I’m going to help you realise how much you mean to me and how beautiful you are. And how much I don’t care about other girls,” he mumbled, and he gently drew your face closer to his, your lips grazing against his mouth. You closed your eyes at the proximity, feeling so much love and passion in his kiss that it was getting hard to breathe.

“I love you so much, Y/N,” Juyeon pulled away from your lips and whispered against your mouth, his hot breath mixing with yours.

“I love you too,” you smiled, burying your face in his neck, your boyfriend kissing the crown of your head while hugging you tight.

You giggled as Juyeon applied pressure on your waist, making you fall on your side on the bed. His hand gently cradled your cheek, thumb caressing your cheekbone with a soft smile on his face. You closed your eyes and pressed your forehead against his, feeling him chuckle and gently press his lips against yours.

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shihalyfie · 3 years

Text

About the Adventure: reboot, the likely reason why it exists, the question of target demographic, and whether I would recommend it or not

I think this reboot has been kind of a strange outlier in terms of Digimon anime in general, in terms of...well, just about everything. I also feel like everything surrounding it has kind of been giving us mixed signals as to what the intent and purpose behind the anime is -- well, besides “cashing in on the Adventure brand”, but looking at it more closely, that might be a bit of an oversimplification.

I’m writing this post because, having seen the entire series to the end for myself and thinking very hard about it and what it was trying to do, I decided to put down my thoughts. This is not meant to be a review of what I think was good and bad, but rather, something that I hope will be helpful to those who might be on the fence about whether they want to watch it or not, or those who don’t want to watch/finish it but are curious about what happened, or those who are curious as to why this reboot even exists in the first place, or even maybe just those who did watch it but are interested in others’ thoughts about it. I'm personally convinced that -- especially in an ever-changing franchise like Digimon -- how much you like a given work is dependent on what your personal tastes are to the very end, and thus it’s helpful to understand what kind of expectations you should go in with if you want to watch something.

With all of this said and done, if you want to go in and best enjoy this series, I think it is best to consider this anime as a distinct Digimon series of its own. The relationship to Adventure is only surface-level, and by that I mean it’s very obvious it’s doing things its own thing deliberately without worrying too much about what prior series did. Of course, I think everyone will have varying feelings about using the Adventure branding for something that really isn't Adventure at all, but we are really talking about an in-name-only affair, and something that’s unabashedly doing whatever it wants. So in other words, if you’re going in expecting Adventure, or anything that really resembles Adventure, you’re setting yourself up for disappointment. But if you’re able to approach it like yet another distinct Digimon series, and the other aspects of it fit your fancy, you’ll probably be able to enjoy it much better. And, conversely, I think it’s also important to remember that this series seems to have a writing philosophy with a fundamentally different goal from most Digimon series, and since it’s understandable for most long-time Digimon fans to have their tastes built on those prior series, it’s fine and completely understandable that this reboot may not be your cup of tea, for reasons that probably don’t actually have much to do with whether it’s an Adventure reboot or not.

There are no spoilers in the following post. (Although I use some emphatic language for the duration for it, these are mostly just my personal thoughts and how I see the series and the overall situation.)

On what exact relationship to Adventure this series has, and why it’s an “Adventure reboot”

If you ask why they did an Adventure reboot, the easiest answer to come up with is “Adventure milking, because it’s profitable”, but that’s kind of an oversimplification of what the issue is. This is especially when you take into account a key fact that official has been very well aware of since as early as 2006: most kids are too young to have seen Adventure, and therefore have no reason to care about it.

That’s the thing: Adventure milking only works so well on today’s children, and Toei and Bandai know this. This is also the reason that the franchise started going through a bit of a “split” starting in around 2012 (after Xros Wars finished airing), when the video game branch started making more active attempts to appeal to the adults’ fanbase with Re:Digitize and Adventure PSP. (Although they were technically still “kids’ games”, they were very obviously aimed at the adults’ audience as a primary “target”.) The generation that grew up with Adventure and other classic Digimon anime was getting older and older, and targeting that audience would require tailoring products more specifically to them -- ultimately culminating in 2015 and the solidification of “very obviously primarily for adults” media in the form of both games (Cyber Sleuth and Next Order) and anime (tri.). Note that Appmon ended up getting its own 3DS game, but since it was targeted at kids, it seems to have been developed by a completely different pipeline/branch from the aforementioned adults’ games, so even that had a split.

So if we want to talk about full-on nostalgia pandering, that’s already being done in the adults’ branch. In fact, Appmon development specifically said that they felt free to not really care about the adults’ audience because that was tri.’s job. Of course, the hardcore Digimon adults’ fanbase is still keeping an eye on the kids’ shows, and it’s good to not upset them -- and, besides, even if we’re all suffering under the hell of capitalism, people who work in kids’ shows still tend to be very passionate about the content and messages they’re showing the kids, so they still put an effort into making good content that adults can enjoy too. But, nevertheless, adults are still the “periphery demographic”, and a kids’ show is not a success if the kids (who have not seen and do not care about Adventure) are not watching it or buying the toys. Appmon ended up being extremely well-received by the adults’ fanbase, but that all meant nothing since the kids didn’t get into it.

Most kids are not super incredibly discerning about so-called writing quality (it’s not like they don’t at least unconsciously know when something is good, but they’re much less likely to be bothered by little things adults are often bothered by), so there’s a certain degree you have to get their attention if you want things to catch on with them. Critical reception does matter a lot more when we talk about the adults’ audience, but for the kids, the more important part is how much you’ve managed to engage them and how much fun they’re having (especially in regards to the toyline). Moreover, there’s the problem of “momentum”; Digimon’s sister shows of PreCure, Kamen Rider, and Super Sentai have sometimes had really poorly performing shows (critically or financially), but have managed to recover it in successive years to avoid getting cancelled. Digimon never managed to get to that point, with sales nearly dropping to half with Tamers and again with Frontier. So in essence, Savers, Xros Wars, and Appmon were all attempts at figuring out what was needed to just get that “kickstart” again -- but things just never lined up for it to work.

So if kids don’t really care about Adventure, why would they do Adventure nostalgia pandering? The answer is one that official has actually openly stated multiple times: they want to have parents watch it together with their children. Both Seki and Kinoshita said this in regards to watching the reaction to Kizuna, and it was also stated outright as a goal for the reboot, but, believe it or not, there’s reports of this having been stated back as early as Savers (followed by an admission that maybe 2006 was a little too early for people who grew up with Adventure to be old enough to have their own kids). So the little nostalgia references in Savers, Xros Wars, and Appmon aren't really meant to magically turn the series into Adventure as much as they’re supposed to be flags waved at the parents to get them to pay attention, so that they can introduce their kids to Digimon and watch it together with them, until the kids eventually take an interest on their own and they don’t need to rely on that kind of standby as much. (I say “as much” because of course PreCure, Rider, and Sentai all are still very indulgent in their anniversary references, but they’re not nearly as reliant on it to the point of life-and-death.)

This is also why Kizuna’s existence and release date two months prior to the reboot is a huge factor in this. The reason tri. wouldn’t have done it is that it never actually reached a properly “mainstream” audience. It’s a huge reason I keep emphasizing the fact that tri. and Kizuna are two separate things with completely different production and release formats, because tri. being a limited OVA screening released in six parts over three years means that, although it was a moderate financial success that did better than the franchise’s other niche products, in the end, it didn’t actually reach the “extremely casual” audience very well. We, as the “hardcore Internet fanbase”, all know people who watched all six parts, and the difference between tri. and Kizuna’s release formats doesn’t hit us as hard because of international distribution circumstances, but even on our end, if you talk to your casual friends who barely remember anything about Digimon except what they saw on TV twenty years ago, you will almost never find anyone who got past Part 1, maybe 2 at most. (That’s before we even get into the part where a good chunk of them got turned off at the character design stage for being too different.) Sticking with a full six-part series over three years is a commitment, and if you’re not someone with a certain level of loyalty to the franchise, you aren’t as likely to put aside the time for it!

Kizuna, on the other hand, was a full-on theatrical movie with full marketing campaign that was aimed at that extremely casual mainstream audience, including a lot of people who hadn’t even heard of tri. (due to it being too niche) or hadn’t bothered to commit to watching something so long, and thus managed to “hype up” a lot of adults and get them in a Digimon mood. (Critical reception issues aside, this is also presumably a huge reason Kizuna isn’t all that reliant on tri.’s plot; Adventure and 02 both averaged at around 11% of the country watching it when it first aired, but the number of people who even saw tri. much less know what happened in it is significantly lower, so while you can appeal to a lot of people if you’re just targeting the 11%, you'll lock them out if you’re overly reliant on stuff a lot of them will have never seen in the first place.) We’re talking the kind of super-casual who sees a poster for Kizuna, goes “oh I remember Digimon!”, casually buys a ticket for the movie, likes it because it has characters they remember and the story is feelsy, and then two months later an anime that looks like the Digimon they recognize is on Fuji TV, resulting in them convincing their kid to watch it together with them because they’re in a Digimon mood now, even though the actual contents of the anime are substantially different from the original.

So, looking back at the reboot:

There’s a huge, huge, huge implication that the choice to use Adventure branding was at least partially to get Fuji TV to let them have their old timeslot back. Neither Xros Wars nor Appmon were able to be on that old timeslot, presumably because Fuji TV had serious doubts about their profitability (perhaps after seeing Savers not do very well). This isn’t something that hits as hard for us outside Japan who don’t have to feel the impact of this anyway, but it’s kind of a problem if kids don’t even get the opportunity to watch the show in the first place. While there’s been a general trend of moving to video-on-demand to the point TV ratings don’t really have as much impact as they used to, I mean...it sure beats 6:30 in the morning, goodness. (Note that a big reason PreCure, Rider, and Sentai are able to enjoy the comfortable positions they’re in is that they have a very luxurious 8:30-10 AM Sunday block on TV Asahi dedicated to them.)

Since we’re talking about “the casual mainstream”, this means that this kind of ploy only works with something where a casual person passing by can see names and faces and take an interest. This is why it has to be Adventure, not 02 or Tamers or whatnot; 02 may have had roughly similar TV ratings to Adventure and fairly close sales figures back in 2000, but the actual pop culture notability disparity in this day and age is humongous (think about the difference in pop culture awareness between Butter-Fly and Target). 02, Tamers, and all can do enough to carry “adults’ fandom” products and merch sales at DigiFes, and the adults’ branch of the franchise in general, but appealing to the average adult buying toys for the kids is a huge difference, and a big reason that, even if they’re clearly starting to acknowledge more of the non-Adventure series these days, it’s still hard to believe they’re going to go as far as rebooting anything past Adventure -- or, more accurately, hard to believe they’ll be able to get the same impact using names and faces alone.

This advertising with the Adventure brand goes beyond just the anime -- we’re talking about the toyline that has the involved character faces plastered on them, plus all of the ventures surrounding them that Bandai pretty obviously carefully timed to coincide with this. One particularly big factor is the card game, which is doing really, really well right now, to the point it’s even started gaining an audience among people who weren’t originally Digimon fans. Part of it is because the game’s design is actually very good and newcomer-friendly, but also...nearly every set since the beginning came with reboot-themed Tamer Cards, which means that, yes, those cards with the Adventure names and faces were helping lure people into taking an interest in the game. Right now, the game is doing so well and has gained such a good reputation that it probably doesn’t need that crutch anymore to keep going as long as the game remains well-maintained, but I have no doubt the initial “Adventure” branding was what helped it take off, and its success is most likely a huge pillar sustaining the franchise at the current moment.

Speaking of merch and toys, if you look closely, you might notice that Bandai decided to go much, much more aggressively into the toy market with this venture than they ever did with Savers, Xros Wars, or Appmon (Appmon was probably the most aggressive attempt out of said three). They put out a lot more merch and did a lot more collaborative events to engage the parents and children, and, presumably, the reason they were able to do this was because they were able to push into those outlets with the confidence the Adventure brand would let them be accepted (much like with Fuji TV). Like with the card game, the important part was getting their “foot in the door” so that even if it stopped being Adventure after a fashion, they’d still have all of those merchandising outlets -- after all, one of the first hints we ever got of Ghost Game’s existence was a July product listing for its products replacing the reboot’s in a gachapon set, so we actually have evidence of certain product pipelines being opened by the reboot’s precedent. (The word 後番組 literally means “the TV program that comes after”, so it’s pretty obvious this was intended for Ghost Game; in other words, the reboot’s existence helped ensure there be a “reservation” for this kind of product to be made.)

I think one important thing to keep in mind is that Toei and Bandai have as much of a stake in avoiding rehashing for their kids’ franchises as we do. Even if you look at this from a purely capitalistic perspective, because of how fast the “turnover” is for the kids’ audience, sustaining a franchise for a long time off rehashing the same thing over and over is hard, and even moreso when it involves a twenty-year-old anime that said kids don’t even know or remember. Ask around about popular long-running Japanese kids’ franchises and you’ll notice they practically rely on being able to comfortably change things up every so often, like PreCure/Rider/Sentai shuffling every year, or Yu-Gi-Oh! having a rotation of different series and concepts, or the struggles that franchises that don’t do this have to deal with. And, after all, for all people are cynical about Toei continuing to milk Adventure or any of the other older series at every opportunity, as far as the kids’ branch of the franchise goes, this is only capable of lasting to a certain extent; if they tried keeping this up too long, even the adults and kids would get bored, and there is some point it’ll be easier to try and make products directly targeted at the kids’ audience instead of having to rely on the parents to ease them into it.

So it’s completely understandable that the moment they secured a proper audience with the reboot and finished up their first series with this, they decided to take the risk with Ghost Game right after. And considering all that’s happened, this is still a risk -- they’re changing up a lot (even if not as much as Appmon), and there’s a chance that the audience they’ve gathered is going to shoot down again because they’ve changed so much and they no longer have the Adventure branding as a “crutch” to use -- but they’re taking it anyway instead of going for something at least slightly more conventional.

Which means that, yes, there’s a possibility this will all explode in their face, because the Adventure branding is that huge of a card they’re about to lose. But at the very, very least, Ghost Game is coming in with the “momentum” and advantage that Savers, Xros Wars, and Appmon all didn’t have: a brand currently in the stage of recovery, all of the merchandising and collaborative pipelines the reboot and Kizuna opened up, a fairly good timeslot, and a premise somewhat more conventional than Xros Wars and Appmon (I’m saying this as someone who likes both: their marketing definitely did not do them many favors). There are still a lot of risks it’s playing here, and it’s possible it won’t be the end of more Adventure or reboot brand usage to try to keep that momentum up even as we go into Ghost Game, but it’s the first time in a long while we’ve had something to stand on.

Okay, so that’s out of the way. But the end result is that we now have 67 episodes of an Adventure “reboot” that actually doesn’t even resemble Adventure that much at all, which seems to have achieved its goal of flagging down attention so it can finally going back to trying new things. This series exists, we can’t do anything about the fact it exists, the period where its own financial performance actually mattered is coming to an end anyway, and we, as a fanbase of adults hanging out on the Internet keeping up with the franchise as a whole, have to figure out how each of us feels about this. So what of it?

About the contents of the reboot itself

One thing I feel hasn’t been brought up as a potential topic very much (or, at least, not as much as I feel like it probably should be) is that the reboot seems to be actively aimed at a younger target audience than the original Adventure. It hasn’t been stated outright, but we actually have quite a bit of evidence pointing towards this.

Let’s take a moment and discuss what it even means to have a different target audience. When you’re a kid, even one or two years’ difference is a big deal, and while things vary from kid to kid, generally speaking, it helps to have an idea of what your “overall goal” is when targeting a certain age group, since at some point you have to approximate the interests of some thousands of children. Traditionally, Digimon has been aimed at preteens (10-11 year olds); of course, many will testify to having seen the series at a younger age than that, but the "main” intended target demographic was in this arena. (Also, keep in mind that this is an average; a show aimed at 10-11 year olds could be said to be more broadly aimed at 7-13 year olds, whereas one aimed at 7-8 year olds would be more broadly aimed at something like 5-10 year olds.) Let’s talk a bit about what distinguishes children’s shows (especially Japanese kids’ shows) between this “preteen demographic” and things aimed at a much younger audience (which I’ll call “young child demographic”, something like the 7-8 year old arena):

With children who are sufficiently young, it’s much, much more difficult to ensure that a child of that age will be able to consistently watch TV at the same hour every week instead of being subject to more variable schedules, often set by their parents, meaning that it becomes much more difficult to have a series that relies on you having seen almost every episode to know what’s going on. For somewhat older kids, they’re more likely to be able to pick and pursue their own preferences (the usual “got up early every week for this show”). This means that shows targeted at a young child demographic will be more likely to be episodic, or at least not have a complex dramatic narrative that requires following the full story, whereas shows targeted at a preteen audience are more willing to have a dramatic narrative with higher complexity. This does not mean by any shake of the imagination that a narrative is incapable of having any kind of depth or nuance -- the reboot’s timeslot predecessor GeGeGe no Kitaro got glowing reviews all over the board for being an episodic story with tons of depth -- nor that characters can’t slowly develop over the course of the show. But it does raise the bar significantly, especially because it prevents you from making episodes that require you to know what happened in previous ones.

The thing is, the original Adventure and the older Digimon series in general didn’t have to worry about this, and, beyond the fact that their narratives very obviously were not episodic, we actually have concrete evidence of the disparity: Digimon has often been said to be a franchise for “the kids who graduated from (outgrew) a certain other monster series”. Obviously, they’re referring to Pokémon -- which does have the much younger target demographic. That’s why its anime is significantly more episodic and less overall plot-oriented, and Digimon wasn’t entirely meant to be a direct competitor to it; rather, it was hoping to pick up the preteens who’d enjoyed Pokémon at a younger age but were now looking for something more catered to them. This is also why, when Yo-kai Watch came into the game in 2014, that was considered such a huge direct competitor to Pokémon, because it was aiming for that exact same demographic, complete with episodic anime. When Yo-kai Watch moved to its Shadowside branch in 2017, it was specifically because they had concerns about losing audience and wanted to appeal to the kids who had been watching the original series, but since they were preteens now, they adopted a more dramatic and emotionally complex narrative that would appeal to that audience instead. So you can actually see the shift in attempted target demographic in real time.

Adventure through Frontier were aimed at 10-11 year olds, and here’s the interesting part: those series had the protagonists hover around the age of said target audience. We actually have it on record that Frontier had a direct attempt to keep most of the kids as fifth-graders for the sake of appealing to the audience, and so that it would be relatable to them. You can also see this policy of “matching the target audience’s age” in other series at the time; Digimon’s sister series Ojamajo Doremi (also produced by Seki) centered around eight-year-olds. Nor was Seki the only one to do this; stepping outside Toei for a bit, Medabots/Medarot had its protagonist Ikki be ten years old, much like Digimon protagonists, and the narrative was similarly dramatic. The thing is, that’s not how it usually works, and that’s especially not really been how it’s worked for the majority of kids’ series since the mid-2000s. In general, and especially now, it’s usually common to have the protagonists of children’s media be slightly older than the target age group. This has a lot of reasons behind it -- partially because kids are looking to have slightly older characters as a model for what to follow in their immediate future, and partially because “the things you want to teach the kids” are often more realistically reflected if the kids on screen have the right level of independence and capacity for emotional contemplation. Case in point: while everyone agrees the Adventure through Frontier characters are quite relatable, it’s a common criticism that the level of emotional insight sometimes pushes the boundary of what’s actually believable for 10-11 year olds...

...which is presumably why, with the exception of this reboot, every Digimon TV series since, as of this writing, started shifting to middle school students. That doesn’t mean they’re aiming the series at middle school kids now, especially because real-life 13-15 year olds are usually at the stage where they pretend they’ve outgrown kids’ shows (after all, that’s why there’s a whole term for “middle school second year syndrome”), but more that the narrative that they want to tell is best reflected by kids of that age, especially when we’re talking characters meant to represent children from the real world and not near-immortal youkai like Kitaro. In fact, the Appmon staff outright said that Haru was placed in middle school because the story needed that level of independence and emotional sensitivity, which is interesting to consider in light of the fact that Appmon’s emotional drama is basically on par with that of Adventure through Frontier’s. So in other words, the kind of high-level drama endemic to Adventure through Frontier is would actually normally be more on par with what you’d expect for kids of Haru’s age.

But at this point, the franchise is at a point of desperation, and you can see that, as I said earlier, Appmon was blatantly trying to be one of those “have its cake and eat it too” series by having possibly one of the franchise’s most dramatic storylines while also having some of the most unsubtle catchphrases and bright colors it has to offer. Moreover, one thing you might notice if you look closely at Appmon: most of its episodes are self-contained. Only a very small handful of episodes are actively dependent on understanding what happened in prior episodes to understand the conflict going on in the current one -- it’s just very cleverly structured in a way you don’t really notice this as easily. So as you can see, the more desperate the franchise has gotten to get its kids’ audience back, the more it has to be able to grab the younger demographic and not lock them out as much as possible -- which means that it has to do things that the original series didn’t have to worry about at all.

Having seen the reboot myself, I can say that it checks off a lot of what you might expect if you tried to repurpose something based on Adventure (and only vaguely based on it, really) into a more episodic story that doesn’t require you to follow the whole thing, and that it has to break down its story into easy-to-follow bits. In fact, there were times where I actually felt like it gave me the vibes of an educational show that would usually be expected for this demographic, such as repeated use of slogans or fun catchphrases for young kids to join in on. That alone means that even if the “base premise” is similar to the original Adventure, this already necessitates a lot of things that have to be very different, because Adventure really cannot be called episodic no matter how you slice it.

Not only that, even though the target audience consideration has yet to be outright stated, we also have interviews on hand that made it very clear, from the very beginning, what their goals with the reboot were: they wanted the kids to be able to enjoy a story of otherworldly exploration during the pandemic, they wanted cool action sequences, and they wanted to get the adults curious about what might be different from the original. Note that last part: they actively wanted this series to be different from the original, because the differences would engage parents in spotting the differences, and the third episode practically even goes out of its way to lay that message down by taking the kids to a familiar summer camp, only to have it pass without incident and go “ha, you thought, but nope!” Moreover -- this is the key part -- “surprising” people who were coming from the original series was a deliberate goal they had from the very beginning. They’ve stated this outright -- they knew older fans were watching this! They were not remotely shy about stating that they wanted to surprise returning viewers with unexpected things! They even implied that they wanted it to be a fun experience for older watchers to see what was different and what wasn’t -- basically, it’s a new show for their kids who never saw the original Adventure, while the parents are entertained by a very different take on something that seems ostensibly familiar.

On top of that, the head writer directly cited V-Tamer as an influence -- and if you know anything about V-Tamer, it’s really not that much of a character narrative compared to what we usually know of Digimon anime, and is mostly known for its battle tactics and action sequences (but in manga form). In other words, we have a Digimon anime series that, from day one, was deliberately made to have a writing philosophy and goal that was absolutely not intended to be like Adventure -- or any Digimon TV anime up to this point -- in any way. And that’s a huge shock for us as veterans, who have developed our tastes and expectations based on up to seven series of Digimon that were absolutely not like this at all. But for all it's worth, the circumstances surrounding its production and intent don't seem to quite line up with what the most common accusations against it are:

That it’s a rehash of Adventure: It really isn’t. It’s also blatantly apparent it has no intention of being so. The points that are in common: the character names and rough character designs, some very minimal profile details for said characters, Devimon having any particular foil position to Angemon, the use of Crests to represent personal growth, the premise of being in the Digital World and...that’s it! Once those points are aside, it’s really hard to say that the series resembles Adventure any more than Frontier or Xros Wars resembles Adventure (which are also “trapped in another world” narratives) -- actually, there are times the series resembles those two more than the original Adventure, which many have been quick to point out. The majority of things you can make any kind of comparison to basically drop off by the end of the first quarter or so, and trying to force a correlation is basically just that: you’d have to try forcing the comparison. The plot, writing style, and even the lineup of enemies shown just go in a completely different direction after that. So in the end, the base similarities can be said to be a marketing thing; if I want to criticize this series, I don’t think “lack of creativity” would actually be something I would criticize it for. (Of course, you’re still welcome to not be a huge fan of how they’re still guilty of using Adventure’s name value to market something that is not actually Adventure. We’re all gonna have mixed feelings on that one.)

That they don’t understand or remember Adventure’s appeal: Unlikely. All of the main staff has worked on character-based narratives before, which have been very well-praised while we’re at it. The producer, Sakurada Hiroyuki, was an assistant producer on the original series, and I would like to believe he probably remembers at least a thing or two about what they were doing with the original series...but, also, he’s the producer of Xros Wars, which definitely had its own individuality and style, and, moreover, was more of a character narrative that people generally tend to expect from Digimon anime. (Still a bit unconventional, and it has its own questions of personal taste, but a lot of people have also pointed out that this reboot has a lot in common with Xros Wars in terms of its writing tone and its emphasis on developing Digital World resident Digimon moreso than the human characters.) All signs point to the idea they could make a character narrative like Adventure if they really wanted to. It’s just, they don’t want to do that with this reboot, so they didn’t.

That they misinterpreted or misremembered the Adventure characters: There’s been accusations of said characters being written in a way that implies misinterpretation or lack of understanding of the original characters, but the thing is, while I definitely agree they have nowhere near the depth of the original ones, there are points that seem to be deliberate changes. (At some points, they’re actually opposites of the original, and certain things that operate as some very obscure references -- for instance, Sora complaining about having to sit in seiza -- seem to also be deliberate statements of going in a different direction.) The lack of human character depth or backstory doesn’t seem to be out of negligence, but rather that this story doesn’t want to be a character narrative to begin with -- after all, we’re used to seven series of Digimon that are, but there are many, many kids’ anime, or even stories in general, where the story is more about plot or action than it is completely unpacking all of its characters’ heads. In this case, this reboot does seem to have characters that are taking cues from or are “inspired by” the original, but, after all, it’s an alternate universe and has no obligation to adhere to the original characters’ backgrounds, so it stands to reason that it’d take liberties whenever it wanted. (Again, the head writer outright stated that he based the reboot’s Taichi more on V-Tamer Taichi than the original Adventure anime Taichi. He knows there’s a difference!) Even more intriguingly, the series actually avoids certain things that are common misconceptions or pigeonholes that would normally be done by the mainstream -- for instance, the Crest of Light (infamously one of the more abstract ones in the narrative) is fully consistent with Adventure’s definition of it as “the power of life”, and, if I dare say so myself, Koushirou’s characterization (emphasizing his relationship with “knowledge” and his natural shyness) arguably resembles the original far more than most common fan reductions of his character that overemphasize his computer skills over his personal aptitude. In other words, I think the staff does know what happened in the original Adventure -- they just actively don’t want to do what Adventure did, even if it’s ostensibly a reboot.

That it’s soulless or that there’s no passion in its creation: Well, this is subjective, and in the end I’m not a member of the staff to tell you anything for sure, but there are definitely a lot of things in this anime that don’t seem like they’d be the byproduct of uninspired creation or lack of passion. It’s just that those things are all not the kinds of things that we, as Digimon veterans, have come to develop a taste for and appreciate in Digimon anime. That is to say, there is an incredible amount of thought and detail put into representing Digimon null canon (i.e. representing special attacks and mechanics), the action sequences are shockingly well-animated in ways that put most prior Digimon anime to shame, and the series has practically been making an obvious attempt to show off as many Digimon (creatures) that haven’t traditionally gotten good franchise representation as they can. Or sometimes really obscure “meta fanservice” references that only make sense to the really, really, really, really hardcore longtime Digimon fan (for instance, having an episode centered around Takeru and Opossummon, because Takeru’s voice actress Han Megumi voiced Airu in Xros Wars). If you follow any of the animators on Twitter, they seem to be really actively proud of their work on it, and franchise creators Volcano Ota and Watanabe Kenji seem to be enjoying themselves every week...so basically, we definitely have creators passionate about having fun with this, it’s just that all of it is being channeled here, not the character writing.

So in the end, you can basically see that this series is basically the epitome of desperately pulling out all of the stops to make sure this series lands with the actual target demographic of children, dammit, and gets them into appreciating how cool these fighting monsters are and how cool it would be if they stuck with them even into a series that’s not Adventure. The Adventure branding and names to lure in the parents, the straightforward and easy-to-understand action-oriented narrative so that kids will think everything is awesome and that they’ll like it even when the story changes, and the merchandise and collab events booked everywhere so that they can all be reused for the next series too...because, remember, they failed with that during Savers, Xros Wars, and Appmon (I mean, goodness, you kind of have to admire their persistence, because a ton of other kids’ franchises failing this many times would have given up by now), so it’s a bit unsurprising that they went all the way to get the kids’ attention at the expense of a lot of things that would attract veterans, especially since the veterans already have a well-developed adults’ pipeline to cater to them. This does also mean that this series is more likely to come off as a 67-episode toy commercial than any previous Digimon series, but it’s not even really the toys as much as they’re trying to sell the entire franchise and the actual monsters in the hopes that they’ll stick with it even when the narrative changes.

Nevertheless, here we are. The series is over. Ghost Game -- which, as of this writing, is looking to be much more of a conventional Digimon narrative, complete with older cast, obviously more dramatic atmosphere, and pretty much everything surrounding its PR -- is on its way, presumably thanks to the success of this endeavor. It’s hard to gauge it; we have it on record that they also intend it to be episodic, but remember that this doesn’t necessarily prevent it from having an overall dramatic plot or nuanced drama (especially since the abovementioned Appmon and Kitaro were perfectly capable of pulling off this balance). Nevertheless, it seems to be a lot more of the conventional kind of Digimon narrative we usually expect, so, as for us, adult long-time fans of the Digimon franchise (many of whom don’t have kids anyway), what exactly should we make of this? Well, as far as “supporting the franchise” goes, you’ll get much more progress supporting Ghost Game than the reboot; I highly doubt view counts and merch sales relative to an already-finished series will do nearly as much for the franchise’s health as much as the currently airing series, and, besides, it’d probably do us all a favor to support the endeavor that’s actually new and fresh. So when it comes to a “past” series like this, it’s all just going to come down to a question of personal preference and taste: is this a series you, personally, want to watch, and would you find it entertaining?

For some of you, it’s possible that it just won’t be your cup of tea at all -- and since, like I said, the majority of us here have based our expectations and preferences on up to seven series of Digimon that were not like this, that’s also perfectly fine, and in that case I don’t actually recommend you watch this. Of course, I’ve never thought that it was ever fair to expect a Digimon fan to have seen all of the series released to date; the more series we get, the more inhumane of a demand that’ll become, and I think this franchise becoming successful enough to have so many series that most people won’t have seen it all is a good thing. (It’s actually kind of alarming that the percentage of people who have seen it all is so high, because it means the franchise has failed to get much of an audience beyond comparatively hardcore people who committed to it all the way.) But I think, especially in this case, with a series for which adult fans like us were probably lowest on the priority list due to the sheer amount of desperation going on here, it’s fine to skip it, and if you’re someone who lives by a need for character depth or emotionally riveting narrative, the fact this series is (very unabashedly and unashamedly) mostly comprised of episodic stories and action sequences means you won’t have missed much and probably won’t feel too left out of any conversations going forward. That’s before we even get into the part where it’s still completely understandable to potentially have mixed feelings or resentment about the overuse of the Adventure brand for something like this, especially if Adventure is a particularly important series to you.

But for some of you out there, it might still be something you can enjoy on its own merits. I’ve seen people who were disappointed by the limited degree of Digimon action sequences in the past or the fact that the series has gotten overly fixated on humans, and had an absolute ball with the reboot because it finally got to represent parts of the franchise they felt hadn’t been shown off as well. “Fun” is a perfectly valid reason to enjoy something. It’s also perfectly possible to be someone who can enjoy character narratives like the prior Digimon series but also enjoy something that’s more for being outlandish and fun and has cool Digital World concepts and visuals -- and, like I said, it does not let up on that latter aspect at all, so there’s actually potential for a huge feast in that regard. I think as long as you don’t expect it to be a character narrative like Adventure -- which will only set you up for disappointment, because it’s not (and made very clear since even the earliest episodes and interviews that it had no intention of being one) -- it’s very possible to enjoy it for what it is, and for what it does uniquely.

#digimon #digimon adventure:#digimon adventure reboot #digimon adventure 2020 #digimon adventure psi #shihameta

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