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blackforrestpunk · 3 months

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Hi friends. I'm currently editing the fan fiction parallel to the comic. I'm currently trying to concentrate on the english language. It annoys the hell out of me. My school english is terribly rusty, and as a teenager I didn't gave a shit about grammar. And to procrastinate a bit and to give a sign of life from me again, I'm going to babble a bit here. !!!!! Attention spoiler!!!!!! I'm reviewing almost the entire Fanfic here. But I've been asked a few times. You still have the option to cancel here. :-) Okay so, the main diagnoses are AuDHD, PTSD, Social Anxiety and Depression (which occasionally triggers an eating disorder)

However, I have to say explicitly about the eating disorder that it is linked to his feelings and also has a certain AuDHD component. Sometimes it happens that you simply forget to eat because other things seem more important to your brain. And sometimes you're so stressed or depressed that you can't eat. He would really like to, because he actually likes to eat. If it's food that he can eat. Taste and consistency are sometimes not so easy to manage here. That's why Nadir always gets the same dishes from the same snack bar. Per se, Erik doesn't know exactly what he has. As mentioned in the fanfic, he is often told his diagnosis. But he keeps forgetting because he doesn't really care. All he knows is that he doesn't fit in.

In the comic, for example, it also becomes clear that he sometimes has problems being touched and sometimes not. This is also due to the experiences he had as a child. His first caregiver often rejected him. So he finds it difficult to accept Valerie's friendly nature at first. By contrast, he has almost completely blocked out his stepfather. As a result, he follows Gustave without saying a word, but also allows himself to be touched because he unconsciously allows himself to be subjugated.

Erik and Raoul have a strange relationship. First Erik keeps forgetting Raoul's name because it's not important enough, then they tease each other and Erik doesn't really get it. He has no idea what this rivalry is all about, he just reacts to it. Then they beat each other up and make up. He doesn't like him, but that's more because Raoul is a kind of interference field. The connection between Erik and Christine is broken every time Raoul appears on the radar. However, Erik can't categorize this either and only reacts to it. Erik's specialty is music. He is particularly fond of stringed instruments. This is not just a hyper-fixation, it is his absolute specialty. He communicates through music. Music is his language for expressing emotions. Here in particular, I tried to link the emotions via the music lyrics or in the Spotify playlist. Sometimes it's very obvious, like in Chapter 13 - where he covers Everlong by the Foo Fighters. Then it's more subtle, when he just plays and the sounds adapt to his mood. In chapter 15, he talks to Christine about Raoul and how long he's staying away, where he strikes a low chord. He tries to ask it casually, but the situation actually worries him.

Erik's talent for languages and the pronunciation thing. Erik learns languages out of sheer boredom. He started with Farsi because he's a nosy little fucker whom Nadir likes to eavesdrop on. He only learned Swedish to impress Christine. He googled her surname. He had learned Italian for Jago, though Jago came from a Spanish family. Well, with ADHD you tend to mix up languages... Erik's pronunciation is usually very clear. He tries to speak clearly and loudly, due in part as a result of the mask. Also with the fact that music is his real language. As a teenager, he went to a speech therapist for years to overcome his stuttering and lisp. He is missing a tooth, which leaves plenty of room for slurred sibilant sounds. But he has learned to compensate it. If he is not emotionally balanced, the old habits still come out.

Erik is left-handed. I couldn't find anything in the books (Leroux and Kay), or I missed it. Well, my Erik is left-handed. Originally, at the very beginning of this story, his hands were supposed to be a testament to the abuse as well. Fingernails were missing, they were taped, and a fingertip was missing. This symbol became Erik's left-handedness, a short little finger and his skinpicking-coping mechanism (which I purposely didn't discuss in detail so as not to trigger myself :'D Fun fact: There were phases in my life when my hands looked like his...). However, he is "both" handed. He learned to use many instruments like a right-handed, because of the little finger problem. Kurt Cobain was left-handed, he has the guitar on the other side, for example. But not Erik. But his handwriting, as in the original, is just awful. He simply didn't learn it properly and was confused in elementary school about which hand to use.

My Erik is bisexual. But how can that be if he's never had a relationship apart from Christine nodnodnod Well, he's not making a big deal out of it. But he had a crush on a young punk from his "clique" in his teens. No, not Azzi and not Jago. Of course, nothing came of it because he was even more socially maladjusted back then, than in Christine's day. Nevertheless, he feels attracted to both sexes.

Erik and friendships. Oh, boy, that's such a thing. At some point in therapy, the therapist nails him down to the fact that he is very much "capable of relationships" because he obviously has friends of several years' standing. Sometimes we forget that. That we are capable, even if there is perhaps one constant person left among all the arguments and conflicts. And maybe it's also the case that we say "Nope, I don't have any friends" out of self-protection, simply to make it easier to cope with a possible loss. The concept of friendship is a mystery to Erik. He doesn't understand that he and Jago have been friends for a long time. It's clear to Jago, and to Nadir as well. In the late chapters, Jago also makes an appearance. The reason that Erik doesn't reject him is that Jago accepts the boy directly for who he is. He lets him be who he is. He doesn't force him. Through the subculture - punk - he gives him a place outside his room where he is accepted.

Speaking of Nadir. Why is a trained care worker sometimes so incredibly stupid, with Erik? Because he's only human. Nadir loves Erik as if he were his son. But at the same time, he sees the bias, the difficulty of communication and the constant lack of connection. This frustrates him. It disappoints him. He feels almost constantly helpless. But he has chosen Erik. This decision binds him for life. Nadir knows exactly what motivates Erik. But he always wants to challenge him. To take him one step further. To show him some normality - which begs the question, what is normal? He wants to show him what's going on in society. To prepare him step by step. Sometimes in a clumsy way. But he doesn't mean any harm. And Erik knows that too.

Erik and his mother. Oh boy, I'm still gnawing on that a bit, my brain is still spinning little stories about both of them. I didn't let her take up so much space on purpose, but I still wrote an entire chapter to her. His mother was damn young when this contraceptive accident with Charles (Erik's father) happened. One thing leads to another, Charles dies, she is alone. She comes from a dysfunctional family herself. She grieves during the pregnancy and after the birth. She loves her son. Don't get me wrong. She really loved him. But it still wasn't enough. What she did wasn't right. It wasn't enough. She didn't respond to his needs or his desire for attachment and security. She locked him away and didn't validate his emotions (which he couldn't categorize either). Because she couldn't. Because she was so busy with herself and her small, sad world. This insecure-ambivalent attachment still triggers massive problems and anxiety in Erik today. And sometimes her hand slipped. Due to excessive demands. Which is still no excuse. Never.

Erik and his stepfather. Ahhhh I'd like to leave that out. I was thinking about creating a kind of comeback. How the stepfather starts stalking Erik after his release and kidnaps Reza and crazy shit like that. But nope. That's too much for me. His stepfather was a violent asshole. An alcoholic and a narcissist. Unemployed. He often beat Erik up when he had a meltdown, or didn't do his homework, or had to go home early from school, or just because he breathed too loudly. His stepfather gave him the missing little finger, the burn scars, the missing nose and the silver stripes on his back. I dislike this person so much that he has neither a name nor a face. And it stays that way.

Erik, the night owl. At the beginning of the story, you keep reading that he sleeps a lot, that he goes to bed early and that he can get up early (to buy Christine's present). He's just pretending. He can indeed sleep anywhere. Whether on the couch, a mattress or the floor. But he doesn't sleep for long. In bad phases, he hardly sleeps at all. In good phases, he sometimes manages 3 hours at a time. He may appear calm on the outside, but on the inside he is restless and under constant pressure. Disordered thoughts, the urge to create and the fear of nightmares keeps him awake. And yes, the nightmare I described is the tip of the iceberg. Erik dreams a lot and is always restless. He only experiences a state similar to sleep paralysis during bad triggers or depressive phases.

Finally: Sasha. Sasha is a Shepard-Spaniel mix. She is not a therapy dog. But she is Erik's anchor. She is smart, eager to learn and affectionate. There was also a Sasha in Kay's book. Erik learned to walk with the dog there and was able to experience affection through her. Sasha, in my story, keeps Erik in this world. She is his constant. His connection to the outside world. She supports him when he's not feeling well. She is always by his side. He even takes her with him to the hospital. He smuggles her everywhere he goes. Even if it sometimes seems as if Erik is annoyed by her when she jumps up at Christine or doesn't want to get on the streetcar or goes crazy with big dogs. He loves her to death. He would do anything for her.

Thanks for reading. :-D The text was longer than expected... Any questions?

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westleywithatea · 3 months

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My thoughts on American Born Chinese (TV series)

My sister and I recently finished American Born Chinese, the TV series. Now I share my thoughts. I'll try to keep them in chronological order.

SPOILERS AHEAD!!

So...

After watching the first 2 episodes, my dad believed that the writers were racist towards Caucasians because the principal character mispronounced the 2 Chinese characters' names.

Note: My family is Asian. Both of my parents are born and raised in Vietnam.

I think the principal character was just clueless.

We accidentally watched Episode 2 and 3 out of order.

we get a flashback of Guanyin and Wei-Chen in Magic China. The trees are red, people are flying, you would think that you're watching the wrong show... If you had no idea what the show was about.

Flying people feels familiar nostalgic

Soccer team party and ... I'm pretty sure that's hazing

as long as nobody gets hurt

There's a lot yellow lighting. idk y

Sun Wukong hiding the staff in his ear is purely Chinese drama/TV only. according to my sister. Who read the novel? can they confirm?

Majority of episode 4 is a flashback in a style of an old Chinese Drama

it looks like something my parents would watch when I was small child age

You have no idea how many adaptations of Journey to the West there is. The original Classic novel is really old.

ALL BUDGET WENT TO COSTUME AND SET DESIGN!

Even the editing and CGI is low-budget. The way how the staff floats in the air, as if it's on a string. I love it. Very 1 on 1 with what I grew up with.

Episode 5: oh gods. NOT THE AUNTIES COMPARING CHILDREN!

Kế Huy Quan has a very Viet spelling of a name, but he's of a ethnic minority. My dad reads his name and knows Quan is Chinese.

(I'm still waiting for Wikipedia to fix the IPA pronunciation guide of his name. It's "Kay", like okay and hay. Not "kee", like Key or tree. )

His character, Jamie Yao, is very meta. I can tell the writers wrote him as someone who took on cardboard POC characters of the past. The writers and actors are using Jamie as that outlet to tell us what they always want to tell everybody from the beginning.

on to the next episodes...

transformations are never on screen. just off screen. play with cuts, lighting/ flashes, and other things. budget of this show went towards more important things.

Why is the dog in Ep 6 a yorkie? idk... I think they should've gone for another breed.

Episode 7: so... Did the Principal assumed Jin's mom as a tiger mom?

And shouldn't Jin's mom be using her maiden name? Or did Jin's parents got too assimilated in the American/ Western culture?

their names are Christine and Simon.

actually, they let Jin try out sports, go out with friends, and have a birthday party. With curfew.

They let him have a life!!

I wish my paretns are like that. >:(

I declined a birthday party invitation in 3rd grade because I was too afraid to ask my parents. I was so sure they would say no. They always say no to cousins sleepovers. (it's a sleepover of just the cousins.)

Episode 8: so the season finale ...

Jin's parents were fighting, now making up. There was no kissing. Thank you. Asian parents don't kiss. or people of that generation don't kiss. No kissing in East Asia.

flying people is normal. welcome to wuxia and xianxia. Let's GO!!!

Jin is so awkward. His kiss with Amelia is awkward. I appreciate. It's not a full on make out, like Hollywood rom-com. It's an awkward kiss done by awkward kids. Very real and in-character.

was that monologue about himself, Jin?

Very realistic ending. Very HISHE- moment. Jin asking for repeat and slower, because his Chinese isn't very good. Mood. Big Mood.

Where's Sun Wukong's monkey accent? Every CH drama has him in monkey accent. Including VN dubbing? (I'm talking about present day. I'm not talking about the Ep 4 flashback. idr if he spoke with monkey accent in the flashback.) Did he got too tired + stressed from parenthood that he turned super serious?

Sandy is now a woman

My dad explained this show to his sister as Sun Wukong but for kids of the 21st century. (She was staying over for a few nights and only watched like... 1 or 2 episodes.)

he is not wrong

occasionally, he explains the characters' Vietnamese names to me and my sister. The translation is still the same. Sounds are similar, because Vietnamese borrows a lot from Chinese.

Mom be walking in on the Mandarin-speaking scenes and asking what we're watching. Because we rarely watch films and shows in Chinese. It's either in English or Japanese (anime).

Imagine trying to explain Sun Wukong to your parents, who know the stories very well. But the catch is the language translation.

It's not Sun Wukong to my parents, It's now Tôn Ngộ Không (Tone Ng-oh Kh-ong).

Dad not understanding why Michelle Yeoh/ Dương Tử Quỳnh is returning to Hollywood because of her age.

I can not tell if he's being negative or positive or just plain confused. Or maybe he's confused on why his kids are watching her and not someone younger?

all story arcs get tied together in the very end. that's the point of drama writing. but there are few loose ends that bother me. like the pendant being lost forever.

This is a story about an immigrant family, written by immigrant families for immigrant families.

This is a story about being Asian, American, Asian-American, Asian in America, immigrants, and a child of immigrants.

Written by those people for those people

UPDATE:

It has come to my attention that there were on-screen transformations with special effects and CGI for the first few episodes

I guess the budget sorta ran out for the final episode??

I am disappointed in the cancellation of the show. Disney didn't advertise it well enough.

#american born chinese #westley speaks #asian american #child of immigrants things #american born chinese series #sun wukong

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avocado-frog · 9 months

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Dahlia. 10

sorry about the spam posting i'm trying to get caught up. curses to everyone who voted "update dahlia" on the make me write tag

I keep posting these and forgetting the link lmao -Ao3 link

-It's the Leo backstory chapter!!

-I spent a whole goddamn hour trying to make sure this lined up with the timeline

Segment one- 7/29/2008 -The twins are five, the triplets are about three months old -Using Leo's full name felt like I was writing an entirely different character -My confession is that this chapter was written back in May, and I didn't learn to play go fish until two weeks ago when a six-year-old beat me four times (she was cheating) -It's edited to make it less obvious that I didn't know how to play go fish when I was writing it. I thought it was like solitaire?? As if a game for little kids would be like solitaire ever at all?? -Olivia>>

Segment two- 4/2/2009 -Twins are six now -They just got stolen -"She could count on one hand the amount of times she'd even seen her aunt, and that was impressive, because she could count really high up." Baby Leo <3 she can count to like 80

Segment three- 4/5/2009 -Logan and Lily!!! Love them -Logan's probably around 13, Lily's 5 -The way I forgot Logan had a sister -The way I also forgot that Lily's full name is Lilith

Segment four- 4/10/2009 -OH THANK GOD it was physically paining me to write Leonie -(chewing on drywall) they gave each other nicknames and they kept those nicknames even though Leo forgot everything else and-

Segment five- 5/14/2011 -The twins are eight now -Logan, Jasmine, and Lily all left and if the twins hadn't forgotten then they'd have grown up thinking that they were dead anyways :(

Segment six- 5/30/2011 -Leo was out for like two weeks -Emily (derogatory) -Oh No

Segment seven- 9/29/2011 -The twins are color-coded red and green -THEY'RE BOTH AFRAID OF LOUD NOISES AND THEY DONT REMEMBER WHY GEGEGRGRGGR -Autistic Leo real -So it's canon that their magic develops after a big stress and Leo's was after one day at school and honestly-

Segment eight- 10/23/2011 -Their ninth birthday!! -Kai debut the littlest guy ever -He's like. eight i think

Segment nine- 10/17/2013 -It says age ten but it's a week before they're eleven -Leo got into a fight for attention -emily for the love of god pay attention to your hostage she's about to develop a personality disorder -Marcy's brief cameo <3

Segment ten- 11/19/2014 -The twins are twelve -The twins are no longer friends also -Leo almost gets arrested -"That was what she wanted, wasn't it?" NO -How obvious is it that i don't know card games

Segment eleven- 6/17/2016 -The twins are thirteen -Girl you GOT him!! he's fucking dead!! that was unnecessary!!! -ASPD Leo is real

Segment twelve- 10/31/2018 -They're sixteen -Forget-me-not canon

Segment thirteen- 1/14/2019 -Leo's dynamic with the kids >>> -"Snowmen, I'm familiar with the concept." -Leo says "hold your horses" -ELLIOT!! Alive and well!! He demands apple cider -Sam wants to be like his sister :((

Segment fourteen- 3/20/2019 -I'M SORRY!! -Leo's beef with Jaxon sort of explained -Leo's just trying to find someone to blame

Segment fifteen- 4/20/2019 -The fight :( -Leo leaves

Segment sixteen- 5/11/2019 -Ryan's nightmare but Leo is too Leo to know what to do about it -"Silently, she cursed the weather for doing this to him."

Segment seventeen- 10/23/2019 -Coincidentally the seventeenth segment is the twin's seventeenth birthday -Hope you're excited for the Cass backstory chapter when I parallel the shit out of this

Segment eighteen- 6/14/2020 -They're still only seventeen -Anyways: the present -Dylan and Ryan are basically possessed by Elliot right now so that's cool -Leo has to deal with it tho -There was a deleted segment where Leo used to play softball to explain the baseball bat she uses, but I don't know shit about softball and didn't want to try. Anyways, Leo played softball in 7th grade -Leo finally calls the others, does not mention the part about the kids being possessed

#writing #isaac says things related to his writing again #original work #writeblr #original characters #wip: dahlia #oc: leo

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disaster-lineage · 3 years

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better days are coming for you

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aliet-jayne · 2 years

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Isaac?

First impression: he's a pretty different character from the source hyperfixation character but fun nonetheless. Unique way to execute a ship that I am currently enjoying. The names are neat.

Impression now: hyperfixation ENDED with canon(? mainstream??) noncanon characters now THIS annoying weird little guy has been The on and off hyperfixation for. at least the past two years? He is the most character. also too close 2 emotional home sometimes which is not a good thing. I have absolutely NO attraction emotions to him on ANY level, but I want to see him experience Many Problems That May Be His Own Fault and also have friends :^) fun to see him kind of trying to be less of a horrible teenager and recognize he wants friends and the vague shape of what he wants in general + take initiative towards some of his problems, but he's objectively still being a prick even if he's getting 🤏 little bit better, which is also funny. loser (affection) I'm glad they're hanging out with less murder now.

Favorite moment: that time he showed up at Edward's house and ended inside of it via stepmom. edit for honorable mention/close second in the most recent chapter where he was chatting with Ed in the car, ft. completely misusing the term “win win” and asking Chris’s dad if he’s seen a ghost. there were lots of thins for pt.1 I liked, but they aren’t as recent/fresh in my brain so I can’t name one from them that stands out especially more than the other ones I liked. The bit where they broke into the school was also good, though.

Idea for a story: unavoidable/forced because situation conversation with parents. Alternatively, y'know how kai did that drawing with his silhouette and the wings at one point? And how a bunch of people (and I still don't really get it, tbh I never got behind the idea) had theories or fics with Drew having wings (since DS had them)? Not to say it's gonna happen in canon or foreshadowed anything, but I think it could be kind of entertaining if "Isaac got stressed out and randomly started having wings at the time of current canon for no obvious reason" was a fic Thing too. Same idea, similar problems, different guy. Also see: extremely awkward bonding with Edward's jocks. Also also see: something with time travel maybe somehow?? Idk how. Making a reference to the orange gradient drawing kai did could work w that topic. it has the Vibes for it. also also also: Isaac actually talking to or coexisting with Nevin for more than 5 seconds, or maybe meeting Nevin before Chris drama

Unpopular opinion: I think by the time he would be genuinely romantically dating someone, gonna say Edward because that's who I see this most with, he would have more character development and act... better to them (and vise versa) than he did at the beginning of the story. Even just now (though admittedly these examples are from the most recent chapter, so they may not be the best examples for an opinion I already had before it), with the character development he needed to have in order to just be friends with Edward, he's already going "hm maybe that would be Too Much. I'm not gonna go through with actually being hypocritical enough say that," and they're joking and playing when they push each other around. ESPECIALLY if it's still canon he's demi, if he genuinely was being that snappish and had the same attitude towards him as he did in the start, which was "if you breathe near me I will bite you and/or run away; I do not want to see you" I don't see why either of them would want or choose to be in a relationship. This feels? Obvious, but a lot of ship stuff I've seen still has the og dynamic. I'm not talking about the deliberate hateship stuff, that can be fun, I mean actual "they are established Together and In Love, but still act like this to each other and are honestly annoyed the other person exists”. It could just be that the stuff was written back when that was the only dynamic they had in canon, but even then it seems like they'd have to have gotten chiller with each other and not be making constant passive aggressive comments to have gotten from canon to Hypothetical Romance. The main exception to this would be Nevin. I think he could hateship his way into anyone’s life. He's built different.

Favorite relationship: Edward, seconded by Drew. I’d also like to see him interacting with other characters more. I’m esp interested in seeing him with Barry and Dez’s girls in the future.

Favorite headcanon: def have some somewhere but I can’t think of anything uhh. hm. It seems like a potential reasoning his parents could have for being so chill with him just leaving in the middle of the night is that he’s close-ish to being a legal adult, at which point, especially if he moves out, there’s nothing stopping him from going out. current difference being that while he’s living with them they can call the police if he doesn’t come back. (probably doesn’t hurt that the area surrounding their apartment seems pretty safe when you ignore the magic stuff and janitors with bombs, and isn’t Forest With Bears for miles until you get to some random town with only weed and rich people in it. for the longest time I was SO confused with how casual characters were about sneaking out until I processed that people living in town... would not have the natural deterrents I've had growing up.)

#isaac beamer versus the supernatural #ibvs #isaac beamer #ask game #oooo u know what. i still have your charlie ask from an older ask game. i never got around to answering that and we JUST got charlie lore #that would be good to finally go answer in the immediate future #obligatory the opinion bit is not vaguing anyone specific I do not have a good enough memory for that.#and no hate to how people write their fictional people #drug ment #i guess?#ibvs spoilers

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hot-wiings · 3 years

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The One Where Dabi Gets Involved With Overhaul’s Girl, Part Eighteen.

Edited: 3-26-2021

A month had passed since Kai announced your engagement, and a month had passed since your pregnancy became public knowledge. You ran your fingers over your stomach, you weren't really showing yet. You knew as the weeks progressed you would blow up like a bowling ball and your stomach would pop open like a flower. As of right now, you had the smallest, most insignificant bump, only you knew it was there and it was only visible with your shirt up.

You looked up from your spot on the couch to Dabi. You hadn't had a moment to talk to him with Hari around. Per what he said to Kai, he had been watching you like a hawk. You hadn't been able to speak to each other freely, let alone even look in each other's direction. Your lingering touches were no longer, your sweet whispered words were gone.

You knew you had to stop such actions due to Hari's presence and watchful eyes, yet part of you couldn't help but feel that the affections you used to brazenly show each other in private had been turned unwanted. Not being alone meant you hadn't gotten the chance to talk to Dabi about this baby, your baby.

You still had no idea if he wanted you both, this was a two-for-one deal now, and it was a tie-breaker you were not willing to get rid of. The true father of your baby was still an unanswered question. An unanswered question you weren't sure mattered to Dabi. Asking Dabi to risk his life for the sake of a baby that might not be his was a huge favor. That was if he even wanted a baby, another unanswered question that sent nerves sparking throughout your body.

Noticing Hari see your eyes on Dabi you quickly come up with something to say to him. You quickly come up with a reason to talk to him. You don't want to make yourself, nor Dabi look suspicious. Anything noteworthy that Hari sees he will take directly to Kai. You didn't want to raise suspicions simply for looking at him.

"I can't believe I'll be naming a baby in seven months. Any suggestions?"

"Let me guess, Kai is leaning towards junior for a boy."

Dabi's face tightens as he says the words, and you suppose to was an unfair question to ask but it was all you could think up on the fly at that moment. Presuming Dabi wanted this baby, it was unfair to ask him such things knowing that if this baby was born before you escaped, then it would be Kai helping you name them.

Presuming that Dabi wanted this baby, it was already unfair that he couldn't be with you, it was unfair he couldn't help you. It wasn't him pulling back your hair when you threw up, it was Kai. It wasn't him rubbing your shoulders, it was Kai. It wasn't him coddling and taking care of you, it was Kai.

Of course, that was presuming and wishful thinking. For all that you really knew he was upset and his tightened smile was out of anger towards Kai and this baby. Anger that this baby was ruining things, ruining his plan to get you and Eri out, and ruining your disclosed and deeply harbored feelings for each other. Anger towards Kai for having possibly gotten you pregnant, anger this baby might actually belong to a monster and not him.

This uncertainty on his feelings was tearing you apart. You didn't know what he wanted, and you didn't know what he was thinking. He could resent this baby, he could hate them, or he could love them. He could be thinking about how he wanted to whisk you away from Kai, he could be thinking about how he wants a family with you, or he could be thinking about not helping you and Eri at all. Knowing him, knowing his own upbringing, and how his own father acted towards him did not help shake the feeling that maybe he didn't want you and this baby anymore.

"I think Kai Junior would be a lovely name."

Hari, ever-delightful to praise Kai, even in his absence speaks up commending the name. There was no way you'd ever name your child after Kai. Even if this baby ends up being Kai's, even if they had his genes, you would not raise them to be like him. You would not raise them to be such a monster.

"Well, we will have to take it into consideration, but I think I want something more original."

You feel a firm hand slide over your shoulders from behind you, squeezing them in a comforting way. The assailant presses his thumb into your skin in such an intricate way you know exactly who it is. The exact monster whose name you're conversing about.

"Kai Junior has a nice ring to it. We'll discuss it, but whatever we agree on is sure to be perfect."

Kai's voice meets your ears as he leans in close and presses a kiss on your cheek. You want to pull away, you want to reject it. Not with Dabi in front of you, not with you being unsure of his feelings for you and this baby. Showing affection towards Kai feels like a betrayal. Quite ironic seemingly since your shared feelings with Dabi were in fact a betrayal to Kai. You know it would be stupid to pull away from Kai, things have been going good lately. Due to this pregnancy he had given you some of your freedom back, even if it was just a shard of freedom, even the smallest shred felt like a lifetime.

You had Kai utterly convinced you were in love. Whether he thought you were suffering from Stockholm syndrome or were genuinely in love with him didn't matter. He believed you loved him, and that was enough.

"All done with work for the day?"

"No, I needed Hari for some important matters. It'll just be you and Dabi for the rest of the day."

Kai had been keeping his plans more secretive. He was keeping things in front of Dabi and the other league members on a need-to-know basis. You could tell it was making them antsy, and Kai seemed stressed. Although, he hadn't been taking that stress out on you as he used to. Something big was going down soon, you just knew it.

"Okay, be safe."

You give Kai a quick kiss on the lips before he moved away from you and out of the room with Hari hot on his heels. You felt disgusted for having to put on such a display of affection for him, but as you watched him and Hari disappear further and further away, the feelings in your stomach transitioned from disgust to relief, and that relief slowly turned to nervousness. You felt achy and sick, it wasn't the morning sickness that conveniently happened in the afternoon and evening.

This was the first time you would be alone with Dabi since you announced your pregnancy. You would finally be able to discuss it, you would finally be able to talk about what this would mean for your both. You would finally find out whether he wanted this baby, whether he wanted to be a father. You would finally get to put your nerves to rest, but the idea of talking about this made you uneasy.

What if he didn't want this baby? What if he no longer wanted you. You didn't know what you would do without him. While you hated being so codependent on someone, he was all you had. He was your only shot of escaping Kai alive, he was your only shot at getting Eri out safe and now he was the possible father of your baby. He was the man you loved, and If he rejected you, you, and your baby, you would be forced to live an unhappy life going around as Kai's wife for the sake of your baby.

You and Dabi stare at each other in silence for a moment, as if daring one of you to make the first move to break it. Dabi stood up from where he was sitting and made long stridefull steps to the couch you were sitting on. He takes a seat next to you and loosely grabs your hand. The action somewhat puts your gut at ease. He wasn't being cold and distant, that was a good sign, wasn't it?

"You're pregnant, huh?"

"Yeah, Kai did an ultrasound and everything."

"Do you know whose it is?"

You pulled your lip in between your teeth and bit down. Here was the hard part. You didn't know who the actual father was, and you didn't know what that meant to Dabi. It could be hard to father another man's baby. Every day Dabi would have to look in his child's face and possibly see Kai.

"No, the times we... You overlapped each other. I- Are you upset? Does it bother you Kai might be the father?"

"No, no. It's mine."

"How can you be so sure?"

Dabi's grip on your hand tightened as he brought it up to his mouth and left a little kiss on top of your knuckles.

"Doesn't matter who the father is, does it? I'm gonna help you raise it- them. My money is going towards their education and living expenses, my time is going towards raising them into being a good person in such a shitty, unfair world. I'm going to be the father, doesn't matter what a piece of paper or blood work says. They'll be mine, ours."

"So you want them? You want us?"

"You know I had a crap dad, I'll admit when I first found out it scared me. I don't want to be like him, the thought of raising a child and being like him scares me. I'm not going to be like him, I'll be so much better."

"You will! You'll be a great dad."

You reached into the pocket of your pants and pulled out the ultrasound photo. It had gotten a bit beat up because you had it floating around in your pocket ever since you had it taken, you wanted to give it to Dabi as soon as you got the chance. You took the folded photo and placed it in Dabi's hand.

"I want you to have this, just don't let anyone see or know you have it."

You watched in anticipation as Dabi unfolded the photo and looked at it. His own small smile displayed on his face as he refolded it and placed it in the inner pocket of his jacket, secure and safe from prying eyes.

"They're so small."

"I had it taken a month ago, I won't get another until the middle of my second trimester."

"Hijire."

"Hijire?"

Dabi flashed you a smile as he pulled your hand up and kissed your knuckles again. He let out a low chuckle as if he had a very funny joke running through his head.

"I like the name Hijire. Earlier you asked for a suggestion, and I like Hijire."

"Baby Hijire, I like it."

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sugas-sweetheart · 3 years

Note

SOF ITS BEEN A YEAR? That is so insane congrats not only on reaching 600 followers but also for reaching 365 freaking days on this crazy ass website and thriving! 😍😍😚💍

I was wondering if I could request a haikyuu matchup from you (if not, just ignore and ily so much)! Besides oogway ascends😫 one of my favorite songs is rockin from the weeknd, 99% of the songs from the 2000s, and Kiss Me More from Doja Cat cause I like pretending I'm in an edit & im a bit basic (don't come for me) I'm an extrovert🤢, ENFJ (16p), very driven yet stubborn, semi patient, and it is so easy to make me laugh cause the discord has messed up my humor. You already know what I look like but sometimes I feel like I resemble a tall kai-lan from ni hao, kai lan mixed with a sesame street character 🤔

You have been matched with… Hanamaki Takahiro!

Honestly my main thought process with this was between any of the seijoh third years but I thought I'd branch out a little from your husband, Iwaizumi, so here we are as Hanamaki was my first thought after him!

Matsukawa definitely takes any and all credit for you two getting together, Hanamaki denied Matsukawa’s initial advances about you claiming he could look after his own love life but Matsukawa couldn’t let it go that easily.

Matsukawa set up a “group trip” to a local festival or market and almost immediately split the group up to get you and Makki alone, little did he know you and Makki had already said something to each other by the time this trip had even been planned

Emma you’re like one of the only mutuals I know in a relationship I’m entrusting you to get with Makki before Matsukawa forces it but he’ll take the credit for yall anyway :’)

I think his fairly calm and perceptive nature would work well with your stubbornness and drive because he would just counteract most things with humour or logical reasoning.

He would also always be able to tell if your drive to do well was causing you too much stress or if you were putting yourself under too much pressure. He can be quite lazy and chilled so he will easily pull you away for a break from work.

I feel like he’d be good at like proof reading essays and stuff?? So he’s always willing to help.

You two make playlists for a lot of things. you'll have a shared playlist for almost any setting you find yourself in.

Most of them will consist of 2000's pop, I'm convinced Makki is an absolute sucker for those old "girl power" playlists filled with 2000's songs about breakups and self love.

I also think he's a doja cat fan to be honest and he would not be ashamed

He was part of that "can you break up with me for a day so that i can cry to a sad playlist" trend because you two made an immaculate breakup songs/crying playlist and he wanted to use it without having the literal consequence of you two breaking up.

He would 100% reenact music videos with you at home. You two would go on long drives together when its lightly raining and belt anything from happy songs to powerful breakup songs and pretend its a music video.

He also offered to edit one of those timothee chalamet (is that even how you spell his name-) playdate tiktok edits for you when they were a trend, if you'd let him record you.

If you thought the server had messed up your humour then oh boy, it will only get worse with him as your other comedy influence. He will make constant sugar baby jokes when he's in between jobs (as stated in the timeskip)

He promises that he doesn’t plan to live as your sugar baby forever though - he seems like an acts of service or gift giving type to me, so he does little tasks/chores so that you don't have to worry about any of them at all when he's not working and gets you gifts once he's back in his job.

He likes to just lie with you in bed on the weekends and he will tickle you.

He approves of your oogway ascends obsession and plays it at random points in the day just for you <3

A/N: this is the first matchup I've ever posted so thank god it was a mutual LMAO ily emma I hope you enjoyed, I was terrified to post this. I honestly don't know if we've discussed you and makki before or not but if we havenn't, we should

#anteros records matchup 💘#haikyuu matchups #Emma 🧇

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rogue-barnes-16 · 4 years

Text

THE MYSTERIOUS DISAPPEARANCE OF NATASHA ROMANOFF (part IV/?)

Summary: after the too convenient disappearance of Natasha Romanoff, the Avengers —a local biker gang— search for help in the most unexpected place in order to get their friend back. Will it help, or will the situation just get more twisted and dangerous?

Pairing: Biker!Bucky Barnes x reader

Genre: angst-ish (biker gang au)

Tags:

The mysterious disappearance of Natasha Romanoff: @shirukitsune @retrxbarnes @montypythonsholysnail

Permanent taglist: @notexactlythatgirl @thisismysecrethappyplace @sofreakinmanyfandoms @pizzarollpatrol @bubblycypress87 @1a-girl-has-no-name1 @loislp @lovenaturefirst @dyanna-corona @2ptonpt @goodnightmode @disneyprincessbuffyannesummers @mannls @cutie1365 @catch22inareddress @mybooradley @sebastianisasnack @butifulsoul125 @unlikelygalaxygiver

Warnings: language

A/N: I'm hella tired so this probably got typos I'm sorry babes. Might edit tomorrow, but I'm not sure. 70% sure that I'll end up leaving it like it is. I'm a mess lol, enjoy it loves <3.

The mysterious disappearance of Natasha Romanoff masterlist

Rogue-barnes-16 masterlist

BUCKY'S P. O. V.

I had reached home before Y/n and Clint, probably because the man had decided to go slower and more careful due to Y/n riding with him.

Clint used to be always so protective of her, he still was.

The blond man took the fiery girl under his wing as soon as we both started to date, treating her like a little sister, even if that meant arguing with me or lecturing the shit out of her.

Now Y/n could barely trust Clint anymore, and I had to carry that weight over my shoulders, just like I had been carrying it for the past year.

I lost my train of thought when the roaring engine of Clint's bike got louder and louder, until I was able to see them, seconds before the bike was parked.

She climbed off first, and was closely followed by Clint, who came directly to me, stopping just an instant long enough to spat on my face "next time I'll take her to grab a goddamn coffee, and you'll fuckin' stay here."

After that, he passed by me and walked up the few wooden stairs of my porch to open the main door.

"He's mad." Y/n stated, intentionally slowing her steps right before reaching my side, probably for me to take the cue and fall into step with her.

"Yeah." I replied shortly, walking to the door, left open by Clint. "you both got plenty of reasons to be pissed at me."

I didn't need to look at her to know she was about to say something she needed a second to think of.

"Not really. At least not this time." I steal a side glance at her, just in time to catch a casual shrug accompanied by a peek at my form. "You were just being honest with me, so yeah."

I really didn't know what to reply to that statement, which caught me completely off guard.

"Listen" she kept going as we entered the hall "I'm running on three hours of sleep and a bad coffee, so don't take anything personal." she added jokingly, which surprised me even more.

"I'm running on zero hours of sleep and a bad coffee." I finally responded, taking off my leather jacket to leave it on the coat rack. "So don't worry 'bout that."

She nodded understanding whilst handing me the helmet for me to lay it besides mine. "Did you find anything so far?"

" 'Bout Tasha or 'bout the mole?"

"Both, I guess."

I shook my head no before motioning her to climb upstairs, which she quickly complied, allowing me to follow her.

"Nothin' useful." I answered as we entered the living room, where Sam and Steve were waiting. "Where's Rhodey?"

"Sleepin'." Sam informed us, giving Y/n a quick glance before letting his brown eyes come back to me. "Clint's gone upstairs to get your laptop."

"What're y'all planning on doing with a laptop, Google Natasha's location?" Y/n questioned sarcastically, and when all eyes were on her, she realized what she had just said. "I'm sorry I just... No filters when I'm tired."

Sam shook his head dismissively, throwing himself back to the couch. " 'S okay. We're all in the same mood right now."

"That's great," Y/n nodded, crossing her arms over her chest. "we'll sass the shit out of each other until we pass out." she ran her fingers through her hair. "what you gonna do with the laptop?"

"Us? Nothin'." Steve replied, leaning over and resting his elbows on his thighs. "You're the one who gotta use it."

She frowned, glancing at me before taking off her jacket and throwing it over the chair's backrest. "Care to explain?" she sat down in one of the couches.

"Can you hack Natasha's phone?" Sam requested as Clint entered the room silent with the only goal to leave the laptop over the coffee table.

"I mean-" she knew she could, we all knew that was child's play for her, something she'd do with her eyes closed, but Sam wasn't asking if she was able to do that.

He was asking if she was willing to do that.

Y/n pursed her lips and squinted her eyes, thinking how should she abord it before giving us a reply.

"Yeah... Yeah I can, but it'll take me a while." she finally answered. "it's been months since I did something like this, and I'm hella tired."

"It's fine," Steve assured her "just take your time."

"No, man" Clint retorted, spinning around to face the blond former soldier. "don't tell her that when-- no, alright?" he turned back to Y/n with distress peeking out of his eyes. "you gotta be as fast as possible."

"Barton-" Sam warned him.

"He's right, though, don't sugarcoat it." she interrupted, well aware that we had little time to find our friend, and the more time she took to do this, the lesser possibilities of finding the redhead we had. "If I'm not quick, we're fucked."

I crossed my arms and shared a rather worried look with Steve before letting my eyes travel to Y/n.

"right?" she rhetorically questioned as her eyes got locked with mine for a hot second.

The stressed out look on her face as she stared at me made me desperately want to take some of pressure we have just placed over her, off her shoulders, but I really had no way to do that.

She felt that, I saw it in her eyes just as she looked away.

"Anyways" she cleared her throat and started typing the password she, apparently, still remembered. "Let's..." she made the briefest pause, peeked at me, and then kept talking. "get to it."

I realized too late that I hadn't changed the laptop's home screen yet; that picture of her, becs and me messing around after a fun night at the bar was still there.

I almost felt like I was going to blush.

Just as she stared typing, a phone rang.

"Shit."

Her phone, to be more precise.

She picked it out of her pocket to check who was calling, and suddenly her face somehow dropped when she saw the screen.

"Fuck... Okay, hold on-" she left the laptop back over the coffee table and, getting up, she picked up the call. "Hey."

Silence.

"Yeah, just a 'hey'. What were you expecting, honestly?" She opened her eyes widely and clenched her jaw. "two weeks, no calls. You really don't deserve anything but a 'hey'."

I looked at her confused while the rest of the boys exchanged looks.

She huffed. "yeah well, good mornin' to you." whoever it was, they were making her fume. "listen, it's really not the greatest time for-" she pinched the bridge of her nose. "no-- yeah- yeah now I get to choose when's a good time for this-- Don't 'babe' me 'cause I swear to fucking—" walking to the door, she mouthed a 'gimme a second' to me. "you have 30 seconds, I really don't have time for this— yeah I don't have time for you-- no, don't play the victim here."

READER'S P. O. V.

"Are you serious right now?" my silence as a reply gave him the cue that I wasn't bluffing at all. He had 30 seconds and then I would hang up. "Fuck 'kay listen, I'm sorry or whatever, but I came to your place so I can take you to have a nice breakfast and sort this out, and you're not here and I wanna know why."

I stole a guilty peek at Bucky, whose worried yet confused eyes were laid on my form.

"Your bed's a mess, your clothes are all over the place and-" I could almost see the gears in his head turning just a little bit slower than mine. "did you cheat on me?"

"Why the fuck would I do that?"

"Where are you."

I hesitated for a moment before turning my back to the boys and slightly lowering my voice tone. "I'm at my ex's."

"what the hell do you wan' me to think right now, Y/n?"

"well, not what you're fucking thinking 'cause that's ridiculous as hell." I took a deep breath, regretting my next sentences before they had even left my lips. "a friend's in trouble, alright? I'm helpin'-"

"Your ex. Your helping your fucking ex."

BUCKY'S P. O. V.

I approached the door and rested my side against the door frame, silently checking up on her.

She only held up a finger in front of me, signaling me that she needed a little bit more "Listen, babe."

I froze at those two words, and I felt Steve's, Sam's and Clint's eyes on me the moment they caught the pet name.

"You're fucking jealous-- I said what I said- you're jealous, and I don't have forces to put up with this shit." she ran her fingers through her hair. "3 hours. Don't act like you give a damn-- I'm fine- no, you're not picking me up." her hand ran over her face in desperation. "well you waited two fuckin' weeks darling, you can wait a few hours right? Bye."

She sighed as she hang up, throwing her phone back into her pocket.

"everythin' alright?" I questioned in a low tone.

She stayed there for a second, looking at me before nodding. "Yeah, don't worry." she sighed again and passed by me, taking her seat back. " 'Kay guys, I have until lunch to finish, so you better give me whatever I request real quick, alright?"

"Why?" Clint questioned.

"Gotta have lunch with my boyfriend."

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kinkandkreep · 2 years

Text

I posted 262 times in 2021

98 posts created (37%)

164 posts reblogged (63%)

For every post I created, I reblogged 1.7 posts.

I added 454 tags in 2021

#aot - 65 posts

#attack on titan - 63 posts

#snk - 56 posts

#shingeki no kyojin - 55 posts

#eren yeager - 50 posts

#eren jaeger - 50 posts

#yandere - 33 posts

#oc - 30 posts

#bnha - 26 posts

#psa - 26 posts

Longest Tag: 108 characters

#you apparently got all dis money to blow and is people in the world that really could find better use for it

My Top Posts in 2021

AOT Guys Wedding Suits, Venues and Rings

80 notes • Posted 2021-07-02 01:47:21 GMT

How the AOT Guys Handle a Pregnancy/Pregnant S/O: Levi Edition

97 notes • Posted 2021-06-09 01:56:16 GMT

Yandere Alucard Headcanons

126 notes • Posted 2021-07-29 22:35:04 GMT

Aight, I did this once before, but I just saw another post about it and now I'm frustrated again, so fUCK it, I'ma say sum else about it:

Y'all, I can't stress this enough. If you are a person who writes reader-inserts, please educate yourself and understand that not every person who reads your stuff will have pale skin or the ability to blush.

The implication of the latter is my BIGGEST pet peeve when reading. And unless for some racist reason, you only write to or for what is then essentially only white people, this applies to everyone.

Y'all, it's really not that hard to be mindful of what it is you're saying regarding the appearance and physical attributes of your readers. And it's really insensitive when you just disregard taking that extra care altogether, because you can't be "bothered."

At this point, I have had to filter a number of tags and people who I know are pretty good writers for the fact that I was basically reading the same thing over and over again. It left me really annoyed and more than a little left out, and it truly is something you really can't understand or grasp the importance of unless you are a BIPOC.

And I know what a handful of you are going to say: "well, if it’s such a big deal, why don't you just look for niche content and leave the rest of us alone."

...

Baby, is your shit not a READER. INSERT?? MEANING THAT ANY PERSON WHO DECIDES TO READ IT IS THEN THE READER?? AND THAT AUTOMATICALLY MEANS THAT THERE IS NO LIMITATION ON WHAT THAT PERSON COULD POSSIBLY LOOK LIKE?? WHICH THEN MEANS THAT YOU AS THE WRITER HAVE THE RESPONSIBILITY TO TAKE THIS INTO ACCOUNT?????

Or am I missing something?🤔

I'm not listening to excuses. They way I, and many others see it, is that writing, especially fanfiction and especially reader-inserts are meant to be inclusive. At least in regards to appearance. And if uon understand that, you need to take a step back and try again.

It's really upsetting that it seems that only BIPOC readers and writers are the ones who care about this, and are then also the only ones who have to be mindful of it.

Also, please don't ignore someone if they bring this to your attention if they notice it in your writing. You can loose many a good reader being so, again, insensitive and uncaring.

Plus, it just makes you look like an asshole.🤷🏾‍♀️

I understand if it slips your mind as you write, because I know that for non-BIPOC, as sad as it is to say it, it's easy to forget that we exist on platforms like this. But we do, and we would very much appreciate if you would remember that.😊

Look, I can't make none a' y'all do nothin', at least not while I can't get my hands on ya'🙃, but please, try and recognize this as something that is important and as something that shouldn't be tossed to the wayside.

Aight, Ari out.✌🏾

157 notes • Posted 2021-01-19 23:38:46 GMT

This is exactly what I was referencing in my previous posts about fandom inclusivity and the issue with blushing in fanfiction. I found this on Pinterest and it was posted by a YA author named Kay L. Moody, who, funnily enough, specifically mentioned fanfic writers in the description of this post.

Dear fanfic authors, please read over this and try to implement some of these techniques in your writing to make it more inclusive!😁

228 notes • Posted 2021-08-07 22:17:15 GMT

Get your Tumblr 2021 Year in Review →

#my 2021 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review

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