#my obsession w dark things was what got me into the mental health system

[jenovacomplete]

there’s a part of this book where doughty describes how, as a child, she found herself obsessed with the macabre -- how she’d lie awake at night, waiting for her mother to get home, imagining that she had been killed; splattered all over the pavement, ground beneath burning rubber and gasoline. it’s a part i really like, mostly bc i was also That Kid n i think we should be able to be more open abt this kind of stuff

#speaking! #death #gore #car accidents #ask to tag #my obsession w dark things was what got me into the mental health system #bc toddlers should not be enamored w the end of all things #fun wiish history lesson for yall!

[razzstrid]

Lil Peep: Everybody’s Everything

As those of you know my OCD w music runs deep and I go through intense periods obsessing over one artist at time. I am like years behind my fellow gen Z pals and so I am just now discovering Lil peep. And so for the past month I think I have gone through every piece of music lil peep has produced from start to finish. I am just as surprised as you are. That being said I was so psyched to watch this doc. I saw that it premiered at SXSW and Terrence Malik was an executive producer which is just *chefs kiss*. It got a fucking 100% on Rotten Tomatoes and averaged 73% on IMBd and Metacritic .. but Jesus Christ was that misleading. Don’t get me wrong, I am a huge fan of Lil Peep — I think he is deeply talented and creative and the doc did a good job highlighting that .. but maybe a lil too much. I will actually start of by saying that a lot of things in this doc touched me — how they destigmatized those who take a less traditional path after high school; how they really emphasized the unwaveringly loving and supportive relationship between Lil Peep and his grandpa; lil peep’s genuine good-heartedness and commitment to his friends and family; his rigor and tenacity in transcending the capitalist hierarchy of the music industry with his DIY approach to music coming from a less privileged family... like I really really admire him. Im rambling but in all seriousness the doc was fucked up. Fucked up. His avid drug addiction was glorified to a stupidly obvious extent: he was always “going hard” and “pushing the limits” in efforts of always “out-drugging” his friends — like what, you want to give him a fucking award? His lousy manager, Bryant Ortega, spoke so fondly about Peep throughout the doc but was pictured multiple times as more of a paparazzi than a fucking manager — taking pictures of Lil peep and his squad railing numerous lines of coke while sipping on lean. At one point in the doc there was footage of Lil Peep performing a show in LA when he had taken too much of something. He tells his managers he might not be able to go on yet he does ... a fucking lawyer says on camera that he was “worried whether or not Lil Peep would be able to find the stage” yet they do nothing and encourage him to go on. There he is shown on the stage, barely mumbling the words to “Hellboy” and taking sporadic breaks to put him head in his elbow ... meanwhile instead of grabbing this kid off the stage and putting him in a fucking ambulance his management team is huddled in the the wings of the stage, egging him on and debating whether or not they should call in a fake fire alarm to cancel the show. This is happening as Lil Peep sings his songs of depression, anxiety, and loneliness — everyone hates me but nobody knows me; looking for a reason to live but I can’t find shit; everything hurts, everything gets worse. That’s some really dark irony and it doesn’t stop there... These fucking bottom feeders of a management team flood the stage with fog to hide Lil peep as he become increasingly despondent and dissociative ... it was so fucking hard to watch this. But alas, Peep snaps out of his drug-induced daze and finishes the show seamlessly... and afterwards goes up to a talent lawyer at the show and says “see I told you I could do it.” The next clip features the lawyer astounded by Lil Peep’s performance along with the constellation of talent agents and scouts who attended that show ... oh great, another lost, vulnerable artist who was never taught how to handle fame... I kept on waiting for a comment from someone, anyone proclaiming their worry for lil peep’s drug abuse and mental health but not a single one ever came. Multiple clips in the same vein followed the lawyers comment — different management team members commending Lil Peep for basically not dying. Haza, another successful show manipulating and capitalizing off a deeply depressed, troubled young artist. These people are fucking sick — acting like role models and fostering a “trustworthy” relationship with lil peep built on the basis of manipulation disguised as devotion — they didn’t care about Lil peep but they sure did fool him by providing the tools and substances notorious for self destruction while entirely ignoring his well-being and denying his paralyzing misery which were the main theme of his lyrics. ISNT YOUR JOB TO LISTEN TO HIS SONGS? OH AND MAYBE THE LYRICS? Get a fucking grip. I utterly believe these people knew what they were doing to lil peep and chose their deranged careers over someone’s life. I hope to fuckijg god these people don’t have children but I’m pretty sure some of them do. Six months later Lil Peep was announced dead after taking a lethal amount of fentanyl laced. Snapchat and instagram videos are shown in the doc of Lil Peep passed out, unconscious in the background — his head entirely arched back and his body limp. Over the span of what was said to be 4-5 hours,  not one person even thought to check on him. The interviews that follow these heartbreaking clips are just an amalgamation of lies, denial, ignorance, and palpable inauthenticity— his fake friends and scum of the earth management team either deny the “conspiracy” behind his death, lie through their teeth in their “oblivion” to peep’s drug problem and depression, or project falsified grief. Dude like all these idiots interviewed for the doc talk ab how Peep never expressed his grief or depression... COULD HAVE JUST ONE OF YOU FOUND YOUR DAMN VOICE ??? I mean you sure did to ask Peep for drugs and money you fucking leeches. If someone would have just expressed the tiniest hint of grief, the tiniest bit of remorse in not speaking up or expressing their concern maybe Lil Peep would still b here today and this god awful, tone deaf documentary wouldn’t exist. What’s even worse is that these people are still profiting off Lil Peep — through this doc, through all of the demos and songs that were released after his death. It’s so funny (really actually not funny at all in the slightest) that Peep’s manager Bryant Ortega rambles about how as a celebrity you can snap your fingers and get anything you want: “girls, blow, booze”... (Thank u Sam for stating how girls were put on the same level as cocaine and alcohol) .. anyways yeah that statement seems to be limited to self destructive substances and empty material items. How bout some therapy? Ever heard of in-patient or out-patient? Psychiatry? This doc Obviously really upset me. Watching Lil peep self-sabotage through his inability to say no, over-generosity with his time and money, and emotional labor in maintaining falsified companionships was so heartbreaking. Really seemed like such a genuinely sweet kid who deserved a longer, much more fruitful and a much better support system instead of a fleet of clout chasers. Agh this all just really didn’t sit well with me. Rip lil peep

[mika-shion]

A Very Messy Update

...........fuck.......... Alright so it's past 2 in the morning, I'm in that weird in-between state where I'm extremely tired but also very conscious, my friends seem to be almost nonexistent, and, speaking of existence, I find mine to be a chore. As I said, my friends are practically nonexistent in my life. The ones that are around though are usually only around briefly, and the one that does seem to be around more frequently, I've been feeling much less safe around as time goes on. Not that i think he'll do anything to me. I mean he's in this really weird nihilistic mindset and seems to wanna jam it down ppls throats every other time the subject arises. Not to mention his dark and disturbing interests/obsessions... Honestly, I feel anything could happen. But he poses more of a mental threat than a physical one... I've been wanting to tell him off for a couple weeks now, but my inability to form a cohesive thought on the subject, and the fact that he's hardly around is preventing me from doing so... I was so easily wanting to slip into saying "I wanna die rn" and mean it, but I'm investing my efforts into too much rn to feel any sort of justification for that statement. That's the other thing; my schedule took a reeeaally hard right once this nee semester started and I've been just barely holding on these past two weeks... I'd love to just roll over and die but I've got a metric fuckton of shit to get done, so that's not really on the table rn. It's just... really hard to just.... live. I've been too busy to even feel lately. I used to be able to work in time for my emotions, now I can only catch myself crying an eighth of the time when I'm venting to someone. I feel miserable, but so... monotone at the same time. It feels gross and I hate it. ....my friend is having to move out if his place after only a year and I feel awful for not being in a position to help him. The plan is for us to move in together. But idk how that can happen if I'm unable to work long enough to get the money needed to help w smth like that. This is why I'm furious w this bullshit system. People like me can't survive when being thrown into the real world right out of highschool. So we have to go way far out of our way just to find moderate to mediocre help with learning what we need, when it would've been more beneficial to all parties involved if we were taught this shit early on throughout our school careers. But fuck it, that's an entirely different problem that I don't currently have the patience for... I had plans for this year too btw... I was supposed to have art and covers out by now. Gifts for friends. A song for this #Pokemon20 thing. A song for Valentine's day. A song(or 2.. or 3) for Black History Month. A few drawings more for #SaveWOY. Progress on Y-3K, which most of you don't even know abt mostly cuz of these same issues w my health and schedule. So much that was forced to the farthest possible back burners cuz mediocre, stress-inducing bullshit comes first. I'd love nothing more than to create for people, but I've got stuff to deal with first... Please just know, despite all of this(and the v real possibility that no one gives a shit), I'm trying my absolute best to get things done cuz I want to and, at this point, I kinda need to. I'm incredibly grateful to those who've been patient with me and I desperately hope I can stay true to my word. Anyway, I need to be up in 6 hours so I'm wrapping this up. Pleasant Dreams everyone! I love you all and I'll see you again soon!~💕✨

#weq-talks #weq-shion #blog announcement #update

[evodex]

Be Kind To Yourself

“Be Kind To Yourself”

Be Kind to Yourself

While in meditation one morning with my eyes closed, I decided to focus my attention on ME. I randomly attempted to visualize my face. To my own surprise, I could see nothing. I tried again w full awareness. Now I was able to see some vague image of myself which was more like an image a police sketch artist would create when a third person describes what the suspect looks like. Basically, my conscious mind was making a list of my facial characteristics such as a big forehead, thinning hair, dark circles, dry lips, etc (yup, all negatives) and I went on forming the image of myself with great difficulty. Its then I realized how far I had come from myself. I felt sorry for myself.

Motherhood was not at all what I thought it would be. It was 2.5 years of sheer misery. (My daughter is 33 months old now). As much as I wanted to not have my life revolve around my daughter 24×7, it ended up being just that. My daughter was all around a very difficult child and I was her only and primary caretaker. I put myself through a lot of abuse as I could never prioritize my needs over my daughter’s endless needs. For example, I would hold my pee for hours to not disturb her sleep if she is sleeping with me. My career, sleep, showers, workout, diet, friends, entertainment nothing came before her needs. It had taken a huge toll on me. If I took that degree of commitment to the workplace, I would be celebrated, but as a mother who is raising a very helpless and innocent human that is our next generation, I was only getting judged by my friends and family and called names like helicopter mom, obsessive mom. To add to the ridiculousness of that, a large part of me judged myself for failing to make motherhood look effortless. Us, women are inherently good at hiding our struggles. It’s a shame on part of the whole modern society that fails to acknowledge immense sacrifices mothers make when they sign up to be the primary caretaker of the child that is the next generation and should be the collaborative responsibility of the whole society.

I must say that it was that complete devotion that helped me achieve a lot as a mother, I helped my daughter come out of two serious chronic health conditions, and I share the most amazing bond with her. Motherhood helped me to experience what a complete devotion to a job is. And how transformative that experience has been! Everything I do now has so much more depth with a high degree of commitment and purpose. Also with complete selflessness and devotion to the point of insanity, I was finally able to forget everything I knew about me. It was now apparent to me that I needed to go back to me and be a lot kinder to me. How amazing it was to be able to start with a complete state of not-knowing.

“Be kind to yourself” – is the most popular advice of 21st century given to women left and right. (I doubt if men go around telling each other to be kind to themselves, and I now wonder why not) It’s like a daily horoscope in the newspaper, you assume people will have their own interpretation of what that means and hence will somehow just do it. But it is far from obvious. At least I didn’t know where to begin. I started googling exactly what you do to be kind to yourself, came across a lot of ideas, but I wanted to create my own blueprint for being kind to myself which I would like to share with you. I would also like to urge you to not take any shortcuts such as going for shopping, occasional me-time and other quick fixes, rather really introspect your life path and value system and figure out your own blueprint.

Know Yourself

Knowing oneself is essentially the purpose of life. You can not figure out your blueprint until you really know yourself. I thought I knew myself, but marriage and motherhood had changed me so much. I needed to relook at the person I am now. So I started paying attention to me, things like what do I really look like, what clothes look good on me, what is my ideal me-time, my life purpose, my most basic needs, things that lifted me and things that drained my energies, type of role model I wanted to be for my daughter, my value system etc

Liberate Yourself

 This one is a must. We become our worst enemies when we keep carrying the burden of our limiting beliefs, bad habits, painful experiences, our fears, toxic relationships, when we live only in past or future, and when we give too much f*** about things that don’t really matter. This really is the hardest one to achieve. I started the process by making a list and tackling one thing at a time. I can not say I have fully liberated myself yet, but I am getting good at it and I have my list. So how do I liberate myself? I do it the same way I do any hard things in life – I just do it and I don’t look back.

Love Yourself

Only after seeing myself as a mother, I realized how I had never really loved myself. I would move mountains for my daughter, but I would not even get up off the couch for me. I wanted that to change. I decided to give the same unconditional love to me. I started by practising ho’oponopono whenever I got a chance (Ho’oponopono is a Hawaiian practice of reconciliation and forgiveness. It involves simple chanting of ‘I love you, I’m sorry, Please forgive me, Thank you’). But where I was starting from I needed to do much more than that. So now I try to apply motherhood 101 to myself i.e I protect myself from all harm – toxins, negativity, pollution, etc. I nurture myself – I try to do everything mindfully to the best of my ability, and I help myself grow with the help of my spiritual and career sponsors and mentors. I plan for my own education as much as my daughter’s.

Allow Yourself

Last and the most powerful message I want to leave you with is allow yourself to be your own champion. Not trying to do it all alone and asking for help is important but I doubt if that will always work out. If it does not, do not ever think that you are not enough for you. As women, we are expected and trained to always be sugar and spice and everything nice. That is wasting far too much of our energies on wrong things. You don’t have to be any of that, you just have to be your strongest ally. Bring all focus back on you and allow yourself to be #unbelievablyBOLD #unbelievablyFIT #unbelievablyBEAUTIFUL #unbelievablyHAPPY.

  This post is contributed by Kiran Patel.

Mother of a gorgeous girl who I wish will solve some world problem.

Feminist. Technologist. Non conformist.

    There are many women, who like Kiran go through a mentally exhausting and draining journey and wonder why they feel like this when motherhood is supposed to this beautiful experience. We need more voices like her to understand the more realistic motherhood journey. We all love our kids and let’s not judge each other, let’s share empathy for others and for ourselves. We want to bring more voices like her to the forefront. More #realmotherhoodstories, do write to us at [email protected] if you wish to contribute.

  The post Be Kind To Yourself appeared first on Maa of All Blogs.

Be Kind To Yourself published first on https://bestbabyinc.tumblr.com

[daniellepatoir]

What is "The Dream Bubble Show" & who will be in it??

Hello everyone... I just wanted to reach out as a lot is going on ... I want to have "meetings" or at least stay in touch with those who are interested in being part of this dream bubble show (which is basically my life). Whether it be "face-timing" or "in person" visits. I am working on making it more clear for us all but basically I am planning to go around the world with this show idea... yes a "mini life tour". I have a strong calling to travel with my voice (songs, music, writings, rhyming in the flow, art, prayers, etc), with my soul, mind (philosophy, meditation) & body (movement, yoga, dance, exercise, running, scootering, biking, hiking, etc) around the world, to make a huge difference. I would like to be supported enough that I could go around this planet as "my true self"; fulfilling my mission; spreading "world peace". I'd like to hire myself to "be my greatest version" & show how the "universe" takes care of us along the way. We get what we give. To me, "love" and sharing memorable moments with people are more valuable than the "in -between" "money". Nothing against money (& I appreciate those who work hard for it) but then there is the other side of it all. I feel often people are just "living" to make money.. that they don't even have a "life". It pains me to see unhappy people, or people without time or desire to find out who they truly are. I see homeless people on the streets of NYC that I want to shelter, feed, crack a joke or refreshing thought to, & hug. I believe this world would be a better place if we all were here fulfilling our purposes. Things would get done faster & I feel we would be taking better care of our Mother Earth. I would like to prove that "team- work makes the dream work" & we are all "one"; we are of "equal worth". If we want to see the heart of Mother Earth pumping at a good pace; we've got to fuel her properly with the right fuel of "love". With this complete freedom; we can run wild. To see people in "categories" based off their income ruling every action they make just seems twisted to me. Why does "money" have to mean "power" or "authority"; or give someone the privilege to take over the world. I have often had difficulty understanding it because to me love & happiness is most important. I need to take a breath typing about all of this. There is a lot more to "balancing" life; what about our health? That is true wealth in my opinion. There is more than what meets the eye & more dimensions than the one we are currently "living" in. I don't know about you but I am a people person. I love meeting new people & holding lasting meaningful relationships. Though sometimes I get the general need to hide from society. I need my privacy for when I am constantly surrounded by people & I need my trees and fresh air when I've been in the city too long. I guess; it's just like how you need the dark and light; Yin-Yang. Being able to be alone is crucial in living an honest life though. It gives us time to truly "dive deep" & can put us in that meditative (trance like) state. Anyway, I am going to be like an open book. I have been labeled "bipolar" & been on meds for "ADHD" in the past; though I do not believe in these things. I say drop the labels; we all just have our ways. There is much to a person; a personality, genetics, astrological sign, etc. etc. Anyway, this experience helped me realize how important mental health truly is. I know many people who have been suicidal, extremely depressed, or just have felt so much confusion..' even I have been hospitalized after having breakdowns. In my case I realize it was my environment & situation of "not knowing who I truly was, listening, or seeing the desired results fast enough" that was killing me. I could go on & on but what I mean is; I have been there. Maybe 'cos I have been there too much I have this obsession with being happy. Anyway, I spent years listening to "self- help" & "how to manifest" videos by Abraham Hicks, Infinite Waters, Eckhart Tolle & so forth. I spent all the money I practically had once to take Mary Morrissey's program about living your dream because that is all I wanted to do. The research continued and I studied the law of attraction. Even now I continue to look stuff up & sort through it all. I've always had a strong desire to serve & help others; it was too much so that I would put people before myself; while I was suffering. I realize I have to help myself first; before helping others. I got rehired to working at Equinox in NYC to be a fitness trainer but kept having breakdowns because I knew that was my plan B. I had to listen to my heart & soul. I was trying to build 3 businesses at once; as I was grateful to live at this musician artist loft in Brooklyn NYC for a bit but I realized it was time to focus on "The Dream Bubble Show". I had to take care of myself & learn how to be my greatest version in order to go around the world & help others be theirs. I have held too many jobs for too short of time because of "following my heart"; impulsively I would relocate or quit. I see the value behind having "jobs" in order to "eventually" live your dream but I wanted the "fast track". I guess I just wonder; when can we just "choose to press Play" on our greatest version stories? On "Plan A". Why all the suffering & pain? Ok, maybe it isn't that extreme but time is valuable right ? Though made up? So, how about this one.. why all the wasted time? Why lower your vibration rather than fly high all the time? How can we all just be happy & on "vacation" rather than need a vacation from our lives? People would say to me constantly "cos it's not "realistic"!!" Yes, you have a point, the way "the system" works; how the world is run; & "being humans" we have our emotions but I feel we could be happier overall. There are people who are their own "bosses"; or those "freelancers"; who found the glitch in the magic. Maybe we all would be happy to enter the glitch in the matrix; & maybe it isn't for everyone because they want the security of "a job"; I get it. What if "the glitch in the matrix" was able to support you because the "glitch in the matrix" was the end all be all and doorknob to another world? Did I blow your mind yet? The door is open. You just need to get a grip; this is a lot to handle, right? What is the makeup to feeling "secure" anyway? I would feel secure if I had enough "love" to be me freely. Different things make people feel things & different triggers can make more of an impact. Who is shooting at you & how do you protect (shield) yourself? What is being shot at? Perhaps you let the contrast amplify what you want.. by knowing what you don't want; helping you know 'thyself even more. Do you ever think of your chakras & which ones might need healing? What do you need? Tell me? Maybe I can be a Chakra healer & help you find out & heal you. My "Dream Bubble" can act like a mirror & reflect yourself to you. Yes, I'd love to heal the world but again we can't do it all by ourselves.. but if I was doing this show people could all put their comments down as I go around. So we can get an array of lenses all shining back at whomever is on my show. Let's wash away the belief systems that are preventing ourselves from living our dreams. You are ultimately free to decide & I respect your opinions. I am sure some people will read what I write & say I am in "la la" land or call me ____ (go on fill it in). I say; "why yes, that's great; you are correct; I am whatever you say I am (shout out to Eminem lol). The same goes for you; whenever you are you people "judge you" but why does it bother you? It is what we know; we are separate from their judgements like thoughts we can let pass. I am you & you are me; so ultimately if something I am saying hurts you it's just something you don't want to face within yourself. Yet again, I am here to hold up the mirror. I am the master of my own destiny; I only know life through my lenses (or third Eye lense Dream Bubble ) & I know what works for me. I've got to roll. Ultimately, I have agreed & said "yes" to "living my dream" & that involves being in my "dream bubble" (& you are welcome to join me) It is magical & keeps me alive. If it wasn't for this "dream bubble" I wouldn't be here because this world is too much for me to bare. I "bounced up like a bouncy ball" from a version of myself I no longer recognize; to "fly high on air" all the time to help others with these "high's & low's" of life. I am free of chemicals & medications as all I need is this dream bubble which includes all things I love doing & people who support me. Whatever works for you though; I suggest do what works. You know you best. I feel we ought to find a balance, to sway on the swing & have fun at playgrounds like we are kids if we want to. Why not? Why not do what keeps you happy? You want to stay young? Do what the young do. Frolick around like one. Color in your coloring book, play hide- n seek, games, play with puppets, dress up in whatever fashionable outfit you want, run around, go on the merry- go- round, play games, You want to stay sharp? Go on and read, research, dive deep, travel; by know your sources. I had to choose my Plan A to "help" people be their greatest versions. I aim to help others live their dreams as I live mine; while sharing live footage, film, music, art & "knowledge" & "realizations" a long the way... so you too feel like you are touring the world 🌎 , traveling with me. If you want to meet in person & "be on an episode" let me know.. as all are welcome on my show with the only rules being: 1) Love 2) Peace 3) Come as your greatest version & share your gift 🎁 if you know it. If you don't yet have a sense of purpose we can work something out to discover it together. The idea is: our "gifts"🎁 (Reasons we are here, life passions & purposes) resonate with the "love frequency" & can be found deep inside the "lost & founds" in our "heart". If we were to have one huge "gift exchange" or constant "mini gift exchanges" happening all over the world.. we would be "waking people up". We would raise the consciousness and "vibration" of the planet. Watch out we might fly away to another dimensions' galaxy in this "vortex" spaceship if this happens. Lol.. Anything is possible right!? A new world 🌎 ?!? Did I mention I have a vivid imagination & I am a "creative genius" "lightworker"?? Let me be your guide through "The Dream Bubble" world. It took a lot for me to get to know it here. ;) If you have anything you would like to share with the world, if you want to be quoted, or on camera, let me know. Let's share our passions as I go around in my "dream bubble" of pure bliss; resonating with the universal, DNA healing, "love frequency" of 528hz. Yes, I tune to the frequency (528hz) that has been proven to be "the miracle tone". My debut album is mostly the other earth friendly tone of 432hz. I am here to help fill the cracks with love & resurface the world, with the shiny bubble material so we all shine. If you want to be part of the "Dream Bubble Family" behind the scenes & work together please reach out. You can do both. I am at the point where I need to make some sort of "game plan" so I can make the "right" moves & this show can be a success. I want us all to win our dream life (Plan A) and the more the merrier so feel free share this post & the website etc. Mini games will be played along the way as it is a "real- life video game 🎮 " & the object is to stay in the golden path & live as our greatest versions. Making it a fun adventure for all... so we can attain a state of happiness, world peace, & pure bliss..I truly hope to change history & rewrite those stories vibrating at low levels to beautiful masterpieces of joy. Wouldn't you like to wake up & go to bed each day in the state of pure bliss? Let's balance the swing & stay in that trance state, each moment. We don't need anything outside ourselves to attain this... happiness is an inner job. It is simply a matter of sharing what is inside us... let it unravel & you will see.. Namaste loves 🙏💓💫🦋🎶🦄✨💡👍🚀 ~Patoirlove (Creator of The Dream Bubble Show) PS: If you are a community or organization with similar values & this hit home 🏡 please reach out to me as I've been looking for you.. [email protected] PPS: If anyone wants to sponsor me for the start or lend the materials I need just to get into "the glitch of the matrix" I have to "leave the system"; I will need the following: A vehicle (preferable a van, with fuel, food, water, or other shelter at times when not in van, toothpaste & soap, etc, you know only the necessities, & a film crew with proper equipment to capture & live stream "on air")

[evodex]

Be Kind To Yourself

“Be Kind To Yourself”

Be Kind to Yourself

While in meditation one morning with my eyes closed, I decided to focus my attention on ME. I randomly attempted to visualize my face. To my own surprise, I could see nothing. I tried again w full awareness. Now I was able to see some vague image of myself which was more like an image a police sketch artist would create when a third person describes what the suspect looks like. Basically, my conscious mind was making a list of my facial characteristics such as a big forehead, thinning hair, dark circles, dry lips, etc (yup, all negatives) and I went on forming the image of myself with great difficulty. Its then I realized how far I had come from myself. I felt sorry for myself.

Motherhood was not at all what I thought it would be. It was 2.5 years of sheer misery. (My daughter is 33 months old now). As much as I wanted to not have my life revolve around my daughter 24×7, it ended up being just that. My daughter was all around a very difficult child and I was her only and primary caretaker. I put myself through a lot of abuse as I could never prioritize my needs over my daughter’s endless needs. For example, I would hold my pee for hours to not disturb her sleep if she is sleeping with me. My career, sleep, showers, workout, diet, friends, entertainment nothing came before her needs. It had taken a huge toll on me. If I took that degree of commitment to the workplace, I would be celebrated, but as a mother who is raising a very helpless and innocent human that is our next generation, I was only getting judged by my friends and family and called names like helicopter mom, obsessive mom. To add to the ridiculousness of that, a large part of me judged myself for failing to make motherhood look effortless. Us, women are inherently good at hiding our struggles. It’s a shame on part of the whole modern society that fails to acknowledge immense sacrifices mothers make when they sign up to be the primary caretaker of the child that is the next generation and should be the collaborative responsibility of the whole society.

I must say that it was that complete devotion that helped me achieve a lot as a mother, I helped my daughter come out of two serious chronic health conditions, and I share the most amazing bond with her. Motherhood helped me to experience what a complete devotion to a job is. And how transformative that experience has been! Everything I do now has so much more depth with a high degree of commitment and purpose. Also with complete selflessness and devotion to the point of insanity, I was finally able to forget everything I knew about me. It was now apparent to me that I needed to go back to me and be a lot kinder to me. How amazing it was to be able to start with a complete state of not-knowing.

“Be kind to yourself” – is the most popular advice of 21st century given to women left and right. (I doubt if men go around telling each other to be kind to themselves, and I now wonder why not) It’s like a daily horoscope in the newspaper, you assume people will have their own interpretation of what that means and hence will somehow just do it. But it is far from obvious. At least I didn’t know where to begin. I started googling exactly what you do to be kind to yourself, came across a lot of ideas, but I wanted to create my own blueprint for being kind to myself which I would like to share with you. I would also like to urge you to not take any shortcuts such as going for shopping, occasional me-time and other quick fixes, rather really introspect your life path and value system and figure out your own blueprint.

Know Yourself

Knowing oneself is essentially the purpose of life. You can not figure out your blueprint until you really know yourself. I thought I knew myself, but marriage and motherhood had changed me so much. I needed to relook at the person I am now. So I started paying attention to me, things like what do I really look like, what clothes look good on me, what is my ideal me-time, my life purpose, my most basic needs, things that lifted me and things that drained my energies, type of role model I wanted to be for my daughter, my value system etc

Liberate Yourself

 This one is a must. We become our worst enemies when we keep carrying the burden of our limiting beliefs, bad habits, painful experiences, our fears, toxic relationships, when we live only in past or future, and when we give too much f*** about things that don’t really matter. This really is the hardest one to achieve. I started the process by making a list and tackling one thing at a time. I can not say I have fully liberated myself yet, but I am getting good at it and I have my list. So how do I liberate myself? I do it the same way I do any hard things in life – I just do it and I don’t look back.

Love Yourself

Only after seeing myself as a mother, I realized how I had never really loved myself. I would move mountains for my daughter, but I would not even get up off the couch for me. I wanted that to change. I decided to give the same unconditional love to me. I started by practising ho’oponopono whenever I got a chance (Ho’oponopono is a Hawaiian practice of reconciliation and forgiveness. It involves simple chanting of ‘I love you, I’m sorry, Please forgive me, Thank you’). But where I was starting from I needed to do much more than that. So now I try to apply motherhood 101 to myself i.e I protect myself from all harm – toxins, negativity, pollution, etc. I nurture myself – I try to do everything mindfully to the best of my ability, and I help myself grow with the help of my spiritual and career sponsors and mentors. I plan for my own education as much as my daughter’s.

Allow Yourself

Last and the most powerful message I want to leave you with is allow yourself to be your own champion. Not trying to do it all alone and asking for help is important but I doubt if that will always work out. If it does not, do not ever think that you are not enough for you. As women, we are expected and trained to always be sugar and spice and everything nice. That is wasting far too much of our energies on wrong things. You don’t have to be any of that, you just have to be your strongest ally. Bring all focus back on you and allow yourself to be #unbelievablyBOLD #unbelievablyFIT #unbelievablyBEAUTIFUL #unbelievablyHAPPY.

  This post is contributed by Kiran Patel.

Mother of a gorgeous girl who I wish will solve some world problem.

Feminist. Technologist. Non conformist.

    There are many women, who like Kiran go through a mentally exhausting and draining journey and wonder why they feel like this when motherhood is supposed to this beautiful experience. We need more voices like her to understand the more realistic motherhood journey. We all love our kids and let’s not judge each other, let’s share empathy for others and for ourselves. We want to bring more voices like her to the forefront. More #realmotherhoodstories, do write to us at [email protected] if you wish to contribute.

  The post Be Kind To Yourself appeared first on Maa of All Blogs.

Be Kind To Yourself published first on https://bestbabyinc.tumblr.com

[evodex]

Be Kind To Yourself

“Be Kind To Yourself”

Be Kind to Yourself

While in meditation one morning with my eyes closed, I decided to focus my attention on ME. I randomly attempted to visualize my face. To my own surprise, I could see nothing. I tried again w full awareness. Now I was able to see some vague image of myself which was more like an image a police sketch artist would create when a third person describes what the suspect looks like. Basically, my conscious mind was making a list of my facial characteristics such as a big forehead, thinning hair, dark circles, dry lips, etc (yup, all negatives) and I went on forming the image of myself with great difficulty. Its then I realized how far I had come from myself. I felt sorry for myself.

Motherhood was not at all what I thought it would be. It was 2.5 years of sheer misery. (My daughter is 33 months old now). As much as I wanted to not have my life revolve around my daughter 24×7, it ended up being just that. My daughter was all around a very difficult child and I was her only and primary caretaker. I put myself through a lot of abuse as I could never prioritize my needs over my daughter’s endless needs. For example, I would hold my pee for hours to not disturb her sleep if she is sleeping with me. My career, sleep, showers, workout, diet, friends, entertainment nothing came before her needs. It had taken a huge toll on me. If I took that degree of commitment to the workplace, I would be celebrated, but as a mother who is raising a very helpless and innocent human that is our next generation, I was only getting judged by my friends and family and called names like helicopter mom, obsessive mom. To add to the ridiculousness of that, a large part of me judged myself for failing to make motherhood look effortless. Us, women are inherently good at hiding our struggles. It’s a shame on part of the whole modern society that fails to acknowledge immense sacrifices mothers make when they sign up to be the primary caretaker of the child that is the next generation and should be the collaborative responsibility of the whole society.

I must say that it was that complete devotion that helped me achieve a lot as a mother, I helped my daughter come out of two serious chronic health conditions, and I share the most amazing bond with her. Motherhood helped me to experience what a complete devotion to a job is. And how transformative that experience has been! Everything I do now has so much more depth with a high degree of commitment and purpose. Also with complete selflessness and devotion to the point of insanity, I was finally able to forget everything I knew about me. It was now apparent to me that I needed to go back to me and be a lot kinder to me. How amazing it was to be able to start with a complete state of not-knowing.

“Be kind to yourself” – is the most popular advice of 21st century given to women left and right. (I doubt if men go around telling each other to be kind to themselves, and I now wonder why not) It’s like a daily horoscope in the newspaper, you assume people will have their own interpretation of what that means and hence will somehow just do it. But it is far from obvious. At least I didn’t know where to begin. I started googling exactly what you do to be kind to yourself, came across a lot of ideas, but I wanted to create my own blueprint for being kind to myself which I would like to share with you. I would also like to urge you to not take any shortcuts such as going for shopping, occasional me-time and other quick fixes, rather really introspect your life path and value system and figure out your own blueprint.

Know Yourself

Knowing oneself is essentially the purpose of life. You can not figure out your blueprint until you really know yourself. I thought I knew myself, but marriage and motherhood had changed me so much. I needed to relook at the person I am now. So I started paying attention to me, things like what do I really look like, what clothes look good on me, what is my ideal me-time, my life purpose, my most basic needs, things that lifted me and things that drained my energies, type of role model I wanted to be for my daughter, my value system etc

Liberate Yourself

 This one is a must. We become our worst enemies when we keep carrying the burden of our limiting beliefs, bad habits, painful experiences, our fears, toxic relationships, when we live only in past or future, and when we give too much f*** about things that don’t really matter. This really is the hardest one to achieve. I started the process by making a list and tackling one thing at a time. I can not say I have fully liberated myself yet, but I am getting good at it and I have my list. So how do I liberate myself? I do it the same way I do any hard things in life – I just do it and I don’t look back.

Love Yourself

Only after seeing myself as a mother, I realized how I had never really loved myself. I would move mountains for my daughter, but I would not even get up off the couch for me. I wanted that to change. I decided to give the same unconditional love to me. I started by practising ho’oponopono whenever I got a chance (Ho’oponopono is a Hawaiian practice of reconciliation and forgiveness. It involves simple chanting of ‘I love you, I’m sorry, Please forgive me, Thank you’). But where I was starting from I needed to do much more than that. So now I try to apply motherhood 101 to myself i.e I protect myself from all harm – toxins, negativity, pollution, etc. I nurture myself – I try to do everything mindfully to the best of my ability, and I help myself grow with the help of my spiritual and career sponsors and mentors. I plan for my own education as much as my daughter’s.

Allow Yourself

Last and the most powerful message I want to leave you with is allow yourself to be your own champion. Not trying to do it all alone and asking for help is important but I doubt if that will always work out. If it does not, do not ever think that you are not enough for you. As women, we are expected and trained to always be sugar and spice and everything nice. That is wasting far too much of our energies on wrong things. You don’t have to be any of that, you just have to be your strongest ally. Bring all focus back on you and allow yourself to be #unbelievablyBOLD #unbelievablyFIT #unbelievablyBEAUTIFUL #unbelievablyHAPPY.

  This post is contributed by Kiran Patel.

Mother of a gorgeous girl who I wish will solve some world problem.

Feminist. Technologist. Non conformist.

    There are many women, who like Kiran go through a mentally exhausting and draining journey and wonder why they feel like this when motherhood is supposed to this beautiful experience. We need more voices like her to understand the more realistic motherhood journey. We all love our kids and let’s not judge each other, let’s share empathy for others and for ourselves. We want to bring more voices like her to the forefront. More #realmotherhoodstories, do write to us at [email protected] if you wish to contribute.

  The post Be Kind To Yourself appeared first on Maa of All Blogs.

Be Kind To Yourself published first on https://bestbabyinc.tumblr.com

[evodex]

Be Kind To Yourself

“Be Kind To Yourself”

Be Kind to Yourself

While in meditation one morning with my eyes closed, I decided to focus my attention on ME. I randomly attempted to visualize my face. To my own surprise, I could see nothing. I tried again w full awareness. Now I was able to see some vague image of myself which was more like an image a police sketch artist would create when a third person describes what the suspect looks like. Basically, my conscious mind was making a list of my facial characteristics such as a big forehead, thinning hair, dark circles, dry lips, etc (yup, all negatives) and I went on forming the image of myself with great difficulty. Its then I realized how far I had come from myself. I felt sorry for myself.

Motherhood was not at all what I thought it would be. It was 2.5 years of sheer misery. (My daughter is 33 months old now). As much as I wanted to not have my life revolve around my daughter 24×7, it ended up being just that. My daughter was all around a very difficult child and I was her only and primary caretaker. I put myself through a lot of abuse as I could never prioritize my needs over my daughter’s endless needs. For example, I would hold my pee for hours to not disturb her sleep if she is sleeping with me. My career, sleep, showers, workout, diet, friends, entertainment nothing came before her needs. It had taken a huge toll on me. If I took that degree of commitment to the workplace, I would be celebrated, but as a mother who is raising a very helpless and innocent human that is our next generation, I was only getting judged by my friends and family and called names like helicopter mom, obsessive mom. To add to the ridiculousness of that, a large part of me judged myself for failing to make motherhood look effortless. Us, women are inherently good at hiding our struggles. It’s a shame on part of the whole modern society that fails to acknowledge immense sacrifices mothers make when they sign up to be the primary caretaker of the child that is the next generation and should be the collaborative responsibility of the whole society.

I must say that it was that complete devotion that helped me achieve a lot as a mother, I helped my daughter come out of two serious chronic health conditions, and I share the most amazing bond with her. Motherhood helped me to experience what a complete devotion to a job is. And how transformative that experience has been! Everything I do now has so much more depth with a high degree of commitment and purpose. Also with complete selflessness and devotion to the point of insanity, I was finally able to forget everything I knew about me. It was now apparent to me that I needed to go back to me and be a lot kinder to me. How amazing it was to be able to start with a complete state of not-knowing.

“Be kind to yourself” – is the most popular advice of 21st century given to women left and right. (I doubt if men go around telling each other to be kind to themselves, and I now wonder why not) It’s like a daily horoscope in the newspaper, you assume people will have their own interpretation of what that means and hence will somehow just do it. But it is far from obvious. At least I didn’t know where to begin. I started googling exactly what you do to be kind to yourself, came across a lot of ideas, but I wanted to create my own blueprint for being kind to myself which I would like to share with you. I would also like to urge you to not take any shortcuts such as going for shopping, occasional me-time and other quick fixes, rather really introspect your life path and value system and figure out your own blueprint.

Know Yourself

Knowing oneself is essentially the purpose of life. You can not figure out your blueprint until you really know yourself. I thought I knew myself, but marriage and motherhood had changed me so much. I needed to relook at the person I am now. So I started paying attention to me, things like what do I really look like, what clothes look good on me, what is my ideal me-time, my life purpose, my most basic needs, things that lifted me and things that drained my energies, type of role model I wanted to be for my daughter, my value system etc

Liberate Yourself

 This one is a must. We become our worst enemies when we keep carrying the burden of our limiting beliefs, bad habits, painful experiences, our fears, toxic relationships, when we live only in past or future, and when we give too much f*** about things that don’t really matter. This really is the hardest one to achieve. I started the process by making a list and tackling one thing at a time. I can not say I have fully liberated myself yet, but I am getting good at it and I have my list. So how do I liberate myself? I do it the same way I do any hard things in life – I just do it and I don’t look back.

Love Yourself

Only after seeing myself as a mother, I realized how I had never really loved myself. I would move mountains for my daughter, but I would not even get up off the couch for me. I wanted that to change. I decided to give the same unconditional love to me. I started by practising ho’oponopono whenever I got a chance (Ho’oponopono is a Hawaiian practice of reconciliation and forgiveness. It involves simple chanting of ‘I love you, I’m sorry, Please forgive me, Thank you’). But where I was starting from I needed to do much more than that. So now I try to apply motherhood 101 to myself i.e I protect myself from all harm – toxins, negativity, pollution, etc. I nurture myself – I try to do everything mindfully to the best of my ability, and I help myself grow with the help of my spiritual and career sponsors and mentors. I plan for my own education as much as my daughter’s.

Allow Yourself

Last and the most powerful message I want to leave you with is allow yourself to be your own champion. Not trying to do it all alone and asking for help is important but I doubt if that will always work out. If it does not, do not ever think that you are not enough for you. As women, we are expected and trained to always be sugar and spice and everything nice. That is wasting far too much of our energies on wrong things. You don’t have to be any of that, you just have to be your strongest ally. Bring all focus back on you and allow yourself to be #unbelievablyBOLD #unbelievablyFIT #unbelievablyBEAUTIFUL #unbelievablyHAPPY.

  This post is contributed by Kiran Patel.

Mother of a gorgeous girl who I wish will solve some world problem.

Feminist. Technologist. Non conformist.

    There are many women, who like Kiran go through a mentally exhausting and draining journey and wonder why they feel like this when motherhood is supposed to this beautiful experience. We need more voices like her to understand the more realistic motherhood journey. We all love our kids and let’s not judge each other, let’s share empathy for others and for ourselves. We want to bring more voices like her to the forefront. More #realmotherhoodstories, do write to us at [email protected] if you wish to contribute.

  The post Be Kind To Yourself appeared first on Maa of All Blogs.

Be Kind To Yourself published first on https://bestbabyinc.tumblr.com

[evodex]

Be Kind To Yourself

“Be Kind To Yourself”

Be Kind to Yourself

While in meditation one morning with my eyes closed, I decided to focus my attention on ME. I randomly attempted to visualize my face. To my own surprise, I could see nothing. I tried again w full awareness. Now I was able to see some vague image of myself which was more like an image a police sketch artist would create when a third person describes what the suspect looks like. Basically, my conscious mind was making a list of my facial characteristics such as a big forehead, thinning hair, dark circles, dry lips, etc (yup, all negatives) and I went on forming the image of myself with great difficulty. Its then I realized how far I had come from myself. I felt sorry for myself.

Motherhood was not at all what I thought it would be. It was 2.5 years of sheer misery. (My daughter is 33 months old now). As much as I wanted to not have my life revolve around my daughter 24×7, it ended up being just that. My daughter was all around a very difficult child and I was her only and primary caretaker. I put myself through a lot of abuse as I could never prioritize my needs over my daughter’s endless needs. For example, I would hold my pee for hours to not disturb her sleep if she is sleeping with me. My career, sleep, showers, workout, diet, friends, entertainment nothing came before her needs. It had taken a huge toll on me. If I took that degree of commitment to the workplace, I would be celebrated, but as a mother who is raising a very helpless and innocent human that is our next generation, I was only getting judged by my friends and family and called names like helicopter mom, obsessive mom. To add to the ridiculousness of that, a large part of me judged myself for failing to make motherhood look effortless. Us, women are inherently good at hiding our struggles. It’s a shame on part of the whole modern society that fails to acknowledge immense sacrifices mothers make when they sign up to be the primary caretaker of the child that is the next generation and should be the collaborative responsibility of the whole society.

I must say that it was that complete devotion that helped me achieve a lot as a mother, I helped my daughter come out of two serious chronic health conditions, and I share the most amazing bond with her. Motherhood helped me to experience what a complete devotion to a job is. And how transformative that experience has been! Everything I do now has so much more depth with a high degree of commitment and purpose. Also with complete selflessness and devotion to the point of insanity, I was finally able to forget everything I knew about me. It was now apparent to me that I needed to go back to me and be a lot kinder to me. How amazing it was to be able to start with a complete state of not-knowing.

“Be kind to yourself” – is the most popular advice of 21st century given to women left and right. (I doubt if men go around telling each other to be kind to themselves, and I now wonder why not) It’s like a daily horoscope in the newspaper, you assume people will have their own interpretation of what that means and hence will somehow just do it. But it is far from obvious. At least I didn’t know where to begin. I started googling exactly what you do to be kind to yourself, came across a lot of ideas, but I wanted to create my own blueprint for being kind to myself which I would like to share with you. I would also like to urge you to not take any shortcuts such as going for shopping, occasional me-time and other quick fixes, rather really introspect your life path and value system and figure out your own blueprint.

Know Yourself

Knowing oneself is essentially the purpose of life. You can not figure out your blueprint until you really know yourself. I thought I knew myself, but marriage and motherhood had changed me so much. I needed to relook at the person I am now. So I started paying attention to me, things like what do I really look like, what clothes look good on me, what is my ideal me-time, my life purpose, my most basic needs, things that lifted me and things that drained my energies, type of role model I wanted to be for my daughter, my value system etc

Liberate Yourself

 This one is a must. We become our worst enemies when we keep carrying the burden of our limiting beliefs, bad habits, painful experiences, our fears, toxic relationships, when we live only in past or future, and when we give too much f*** about things that don’t really matter. This really is the hardest one to achieve. I started the process by making a list and tackling one thing at a time. I can not say I have fully liberated myself yet, but I am getting good at it and I have my list. So how do I liberate myself? I do it the same way I do any hard things in life – I just do it and I don’t look back.

Love Yourself

Only after seeing myself as a mother, I realized how I had never really loved myself. I would move mountains for my daughter, but I would not even get up off the couch for me. I wanted that to change. I decided to give the same unconditional love to me. I started by practising ho’oponopono whenever I got a chance (Ho’oponopono is a Hawaiian practice of reconciliation and forgiveness. It involves simple chanting of ‘I love you, I’m sorry, Please forgive me, Thank you’). But where I was starting from I needed to do much more than that. So now I try to apply motherhood 101 to myself i.e I protect myself from all harm – toxins, negativity, pollution, etc. I nurture myself – I try to do everything mindfully to the best of my ability, and I help myself grow with the help of my spiritual and career sponsors and mentors. I plan for my own education as much as my daughter’s.

Allow Yourself

Last and the most powerful message I want to leave you with is allow yourself to be your own champion. Not trying to do it all alone and asking for help is important but I doubt if that will always work out. If it does not, do not ever think that you are not enough for you. As women, we are expected and trained to always be sugar and spice and everything nice. That is wasting far too much of our energies on wrong things. You don’t have to be any of that, you just have to be your strongest ally. Bring all focus back on you and allow yourself to be #unbelievablyBOLD #unbelievablyFIT #unbelievablyBEAUTIFUL #unbelievablyHAPPY.

  This post is contributed by Kiran Patel.

Mother of a gorgeous girl who I wish will solve some world problem.

Feminist. Technologist. Non conformist.

    There are many women, who like Kiran go through a mentally exhausting and draining journey and wonder why they feel like this when motherhood is supposed to this beautiful experience. We need more voices like her to understand the more realistic motherhood journey. We all love our kids and let’s not judge each other, let’s share empathy for others and for ourselves. We want to bring more voices like her to the forefront. More #realmotherhoodstories, do write to us at [email protected] if you wish to contribute.

  The post Be Kind To Yourself appeared first on Maa of All Blogs.

Be Kind To Yourself published first on https://bestbabyinc.tumblr.com

[evodex]

Be Kind To Yourself

“Be Kind To Yourself”

Be Kind to Yourself

While in meditation one morning with my eyes closed, I decided to focus my attention on ME. I randomly attempted to visualize my face. To my own surprise, I could see nothing. I tried again w full awareness. Now I was able to see some vague image of myself which was more like an image a police sketch artist would create when a third person describes what the suspect looks like. Basically, my conscious mind was making a list of my facial characteristics such as a big forehead, thinning hair, dark circles, dry lips, etc (yup, all negatives) and I went on forming the image of myself with great difficulty. Its then I realized how far I had come from myself. I felt sorry for myself.

Motherhood was not at all what I thought it would be. It was 2.5 years of sheer misery. (My daughter is 33 months old now). As much as I wanted to not have my life revolve around my daughter 24×7, it ended up being just that. My daughter was all around a very difficult child and I was her only and primary caretaker. I put myself through a lot of abuse as I could never prioritize my needs over my daughter’s endless needs. For example, I would hold my pee for hours to not disturb her sleep if she is sleeping with me. My career, sleep, showers, workout, diet, friends, entertainment nothing came before her needs. It had taken a huge toll on me. If I took that degree of commitment to the workplace, I would be celebrated, but as a mother who is raising a very helpless and innocent human that is our next generation, I was only getting judged by my friends and family and called names like helicopter mom, obsessive mom. To add to the ridiculousness of that, a large part of me judged myself for failing to make motherhood look effortless. Us, women are inherently good at hiding our struggles. It’s a shame on part of the whole modern society that fails to acknowledge immense sacrifices mothers make when they sign up to be the primary caretaker of the child that is the next generation and should be the collaborative responsibility of the whole society.

I must say that it was that complete devotion that helped me achieve a lot as a mother, I helped my daughter come out of two serious chronic health conditions, and I share the most amazing bond with her. Motherhood helped me to experience what a complete devotion to a job is. And how transformative that experience has been! Everything I do now has so much more depth with a high degree of commitment and purpose. Also with complete selflessness and devotion to the point of insanity, I was finally able to forget everything I knew about me. It was now apparent to me that I needed to go back to me and be a lot kinder to me. How amazing it was to be able to start with a complete state of not-knowing.

“Be kind to yourself” – is the most popular advice of 21st century given to women left and right. (I doubt if men go around telling each other to be kind to themselves, and I now wonder why not) It’s like a daily horoscope in the newspaper, you assume people will have their own interpretation of what that means and hence will somehow just do it. But it is far from obvious. At least I didn’t know where to begin. I started googling exactly what you do to be kind to yourself, came across a lot of ideas, but I wanted to create my own blueprint for being kind to myself which I would like to share with you. I would also like to urge you to not take any shortcuts such as going for shopping, occasional me-time and other quick fixes, rather really introspect your life path and value system and figure out your own blueprint.

Know Yourself

Knowing oneself is essentially the purpose of life. You can not figure out your blueprint until you really know yourself. I thought I knew myself, but marriage and motherhood had changed me so much. I needed to relook at the person I am now. So I started paying attention to me, things like what do I really look like, what clothes look good on me, what is my ideal me-time, my life purpose, my most basic needs, things that lifted me and things that drained my energies, type of role model I wanted to be for my daughter, my value system etc

Liberate Yourself

 This one is a must. We become our worst enemies when we keep carrying the burden of our limiting beliefs, bad habits, painful experiences, our fears, toxic relationships, when we live only in past or future, and when we give too much f*** about things that don’t really matter. This really is the hardest one to achieve. I started the process by making a list and tackling one thing at a time. I can not say I have fully liberated myself yet, but I am getting good at it and I have my list. So how do I liberate myself? I do it the same way I do any hard things in life – I just do it and I don’t look back.

Love Yourself

Only after seeing myself as a mother, I realized how I had never really loved myself. I would move mountains for my daughter, but I would not even get up off the couch for me. I wanted that to change. I decided to give the same unconditional love to me. I started by practising ho’oponopono whenever I got a chance (Ho’oponopono is a Hawaiian practice of reconciliation and forgiveness. It involves simple chanting of ‘I love you, I’m sorry, Please forgive me, Thank you’). But where I was starting from I needed to do much more than that. So now I try to apply motherhood 101 to myself i.e I protect myself from all harm – toxins, negativity, pollution, etc. I nurture myself – I try to do everything mindfully to the best of my ability, and I help myself grow with the help of my spiritual and career sponsors and mentors. I plan for my own education as much as my daughter’s.

Allow Yourself

Last and the most powerful message I want to leave you with is allow yourself to be your own champion. Not trying to do it all alone and asking for help is important but I doubt if that will always work out. If it does not, do not ever think that you are not enough for you. As women, we are expected and trained to always be sugar and spice and everything nice. That is wasting far too much of our energies on wrong things. You don’t have to be any of that, you just have to be your strongest ally. Bring all focus back on you and allow yourself to be #unbelievablyBOLD #unbelievablyFIT #unbelievablyBEAUTIFUL #unbelievablyHAPPY.

  This post is contributed by Kiran Patel.

Mother of a gorgeous girl who I wish will solve some world problem.

Feminist. Technologist. Non conformist.

    There are many women, who like Kiran go through a mentally exhausting and draining journey and wonder why they feel like this when motherhood is supposed to this beautiful experience. We need more voices like her to understand the more realistic motherhood journey. We all love our kids and let’s not judge each other, let’s share empathy for others and for ourselves. We want to bring more voices like her to the forefront. More #realmotherhoodstories, do write to us at [email protected] if you wish to contribute.

  The post Be Kind To Yourself appeared first on Maa of All Blogs.

Be Kind To Yourself published first on https://bestbabyinc.tumblr.com

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Be Kind To Yourself

“Be Kind To Yourself”

Be Kind to Yourself

While in meditation one morning with my eyes closed, I decided to focus my attention on ME. I randomly attempted to visualize my face. To my own surprise, I could see nothing. I tried again w full awareness. Now I was able to see some vague image of myself which was more like an image a police sketch artist would create when a third person describes what the suspect looks like. Basically, my conscious mind was making a list of my facial characteristics such as a big forehead, thinning hair, dark circles, dry lips, etc (yup, all negatives) and I went on forming the image of myself with great difficulty. Its then I realized how far I had come from myself. I felt sorry for myself.

Motherhood was not at all what I thought it would be. It was 2.5 years of sheer misery. (My daughter is 33 months old now). As much as I wanted to not have my life revolve around my daughter 24×7, it ended up being just that. My daughter was all around a very difficult child and I was her only and primary caretaker. I put myself through a lot of abuse as I could never prioritize my needs over my daughter’s endless needs. For example, I would hold my pee for hours to not disturb her sleep if she is sleeping with me. My career, sleep, showers, workout, diet, friends, entertainment nothing came before her needs. It had taken a huge toll on me. If I took that degree of commitment to the workplace, I would be celebrated, but as a mother who is raising a very helpless and innocent human that is our next generation, I was only getting judged by my friends and family and called names like helicopter mom, obsessive mom. To add to the ridiculousness of that, a large part of me judged myself for failing to make motherhood look effortless. Us, women are inherently good at hiding our struggles. It’s a shame on part of the whole modern society that fails to acknowledge immense sacrifices mothers make when they sign up to be the primary caretaker of the child that is the next generation and should be the collaborative responsibility of the whole society.

I must say that it was that complete devotion that helped me achieve a lot as a mother, I helped my daughter come out of two serious chronic health conditions, and I share the most amazing bond with her. Motherhood helped me to experience what a complete devotion to a job is. And how transformative that experience has been! Everything I do now has so much more depth with a high degree of commitment and purpose. Also with complete selflessness and devotion to the point of insanity, I was finally able to forget everything I knew about me. It was now apparent to me that I needed to go back to me and be a lot kinder to me. How amazing it was to be able to start with a complete state of not-knowing.

“Be kind to yourself” – is the most popular advice of 21st century given to women left and right. (I doubt if men go around telling each other to be kind to themselves, and I now wonder why not) It’s like a daily horoscope in the newspaper, you assume people will have their own interpretation of what that means and hence will somehow just do it. But it is far from obvious. At least I didn’t know where to begin. I started googling exactly what you do to be kind to yourself, came across a lot of ideas, but I wanted to create my own blueprint for being kind to myself which I would like to share with you. I would also like to urge you to not take any shortcuts such as going for shopping, occasional me-time and other quick fixes, rather really introspect your life path and value system and figure out your own blueprint.

Know Yourself

Knowing oneself is essentially the purpose of life. You can not figure out your blueprint until you really know yourself. I thought I knew myself, but marriage and motherhood had changed me so much. I needed to relook at the person I am now. So I started paying attention to me, things like what do I really look like, what clothes look good on me, what is my ideal me-time, my life purpose, my most basic needs, things that lifted me and things that drained my energies, type of role model I wanted to be for my daughter, my value system etc

Liberate Yourself

 This one is a must. We become our worst enemies when we keep carrying the burden of our limiting beliefs, bad habits, painful experiences, our fears, toxic relationships, when we live only in past or future, and when we give too much f*** about things that don’t really matter. This really is the hardest one to achieve. I started the process by making a list and tackling one thing at a time. I can not say I have fully liberated myself yet, but I am getting good at it and I have my list. So how do I liberate myself? I do it the same way I do any hard things in life – I just do it and I don’t look back.

Love Yourself

Only after seeing myself as a mother, I realized how I had never really loved myself. I would move mountains for my daughter, but I would not even get up off the couch for me. I wanted that to change. I decided to give the same unconditional love to me. I started by practising ho’oponopono whenever I got a chance (Ho’oponopono is a Hawaiian practice of reconciliation and forgiveness. It involves simple chanting of ‘I love you, I’m sorry, Please forgive me, Thank you’). But where I was starting from I needed to do much more than that. So now I try to apply motherhood 101 to myself i.e I protect myself from all harm – toxins, negativity, pollution, etc. I nurture myself – I try to do everything mindfully to the best of my ability, and I help myself grow with the help of my spiritual and career sponsors and mentors. I plan for my own education as much as my daughter’s.

Allow Yourself

Last and the most powerful message I want to leave you with is allow yourself to be your own champion. Not trying to do it all alone and asking for help is important but I doubt if that will always work out. If it does not, do not ever think that you are not enough for you. As women, we are expected and trained to always be sugar and spice and everything nice. That is wasting far too much of our energies on wrong things. You don’t have to be any of that, you just have to be your strongest ally. Bring all focus back on you and allow yourself to be #unbelievablyBOLD #unbelievablyFIT #unbelievablyBEAUTIFUL #unbelievablyHAPPY.

  This post is contributed by Kiran Patel.

She is a 30-something, wife and a SAHM. She has a love and hate relationship with her treadmill, but it’s getting better every day. Mom of two, wife of one. English TV soap-o-holic and she loves to travel.

    There are many women, who like Kiran go through a mentally exhausting and draining journey and wonder why they feel like this when motherhood is supposed to this beautiful experience. We need more voices like her to understand the more realistic motherhood journey. We all love our kids and let’s not judge each other, let’s share empathy for others and for ourselves. We want to bring more voices like her to the forefront. More #realmotherhoodstories, do write to us at [email protected] if you wish to contribute.

  The post Be Kind To Yourself appeared first on Maa of All Blogs.

Be Kind To Yourself published first on https://bestbabyinc.tumblr.com