#my only problem with writing ace fic that represents my flavor of ace is that i still have some parts of my identity that are up in the air

[igarbagecannoteven]

i wish you would write a fic about a character realizing they're asexual while they are in a relationship and then discussing that with their partner in a healthy way where they're partner goes "oh!! ok!!" <33

mmmmm yes excellent <3 i actually have two ace fic ideas rn, one of which is actually a wip and the other is in a cardboard box on a back shelf in my brain carefully labeled "the definitive ace fic: do not open until you've reached writing level 70+". the latter one is if i ever get to that level going to be about someone falling in love while also discovering the fact that they're ace, but i'd originally thought they'd both be ace (bc i find that easier to write since i've never really had a detailed convo with an allo person about asexuality and i'm not sure i could just pull it out of a hat) but now you've got me thinking,,, maybe the other person could be allo. but of course that wouldn't be established relationship which is implied in your prompt. i would love to write many ace-centric fics bc i do think ace representation is so so important and i'd love to write more characters with all sorts of shades of asexuality, so yeah that'd be something i'd consider writing!

#my only problem with writing ace fic that represents my flavor of ace is that i still have some parts of my identity that are up in the air #i want to write something that matches mine bc while i've read a few fics (like the one you wrote for me) that are adjacent to it #i've never read something that was *exactly* like mine #but at the same time bc i'd want to write a fic that was about romance as well as about being ace and coming to terms with being ace #which makes things complicated bc i don't know how my kind of ace-ness fits into a relationship #i don't know if i would be comfortable making out with someone i've never even kissed a person so maybe i don't even like that and just #think i would like it based on what i've read/been told #i mean i still look away from most kissing scenes in movies lol #and could i even do a relationship in the first place? or am i actually grey-aro/demi-romantic? i mean i haven't had a serious crush since #8th grade that's not exactly normal is it? but then we get into the whole 'well i've done a heck ton of repression since then' #which is a whole other bag of worms #i really do get so much joy from knowing that i'm ace and i want to share that bc i know many people don't have that experience #but i'm kind of scared of discovering if i'm aro or not? and i can't tell if that's like internalized aphobia or something else #like i resigned myself to the fact that i may never be in a romantic relationship a long time ago before i even knew i was ace #but it's still something i think about sometimes. when i feel like no one's watching. and idk if i'm ready to give that up entirely #woah this got real heavy real fast i am so sorry #this was supposed to be positive i swear #i just had to read this book for class and this one chapter made me feel like i was staring at future me and not in a good way #and it's kinda been haunting me #but all this to say i want to make sure i fully understand my ace-ness before i write something that goes into the discovery process #not like i'm going to wait until i kiss someone like who tf knows if that's ever going to happen #but just until i really get my introspection on lol #answering mail #jess #so sorry for dumping this on you i may go back and erase these tags in the morning